[Rant/Rave] Found my new breakfast and lunch
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Wed Aug 23 12:34:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkzyn/found_my_new_breakfast_and_lunch/
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[removed]
[Help] appetite suppressants that aren't ec stacks or caffeine?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 12:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkw5c/appetite_suppressants_that_arent_ec_stacks_or/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] This girl I went to high school with is my ultimate thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 11:51:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkp4r/this_girl_i_went_to_high_school_with_is_my/
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https://imgur.com/a/hLKpM
[Rant/Rave] disappointed when I don't QUITE puke after a workout
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vkb3a/disappointed_when_i_dont_quite_puke_after_a/
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Wasn't even a long or hard workout. Tasted a surge of vomit and managed to swallow it.
Finished biking up the hill and collapsed into weird laughter.
I love biking because it burns calories and I fucking hate biking because it reminds me that I'm a fat turd who can barely haul my Texas-sized ass up a single stinking hill in 102-degree weather.
Going biking again later to get to ED therapist intake appointment. Forced down a normal-sized breakfast so I'd have energy to make the trip. Not quite sure whether I want it to stay down.
Please tag rant/rave.
[Discussion] Thinking of starting an EC stack after doing some research on this sub. Looking for tips.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:52:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vk9zn/thinking_of_starting_an_ec_stack_after_doing_some/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Night eating
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:19:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vk27l/night_eating/
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Heyyy so I was wondering if there is a scientific reason or something that makes binging at night such a huge issue for so many of us? I'm one more night time mini-binge from not allowing myself to eat in the evenings at all anymore. This isn't something I particularly want to do since it doesn't allow me to eat with my boyfriend except for on weekends, but whatever I have for dinner keeps turning into dinner + protein bars and fruit.
Is it because we're sleepy? I could see sleepiness affecting inhibition maybe? It's 11:20 am for me right now and the thought of food makes me sick, and I know that's going to do a complete 180 by tonight and I'm sick of being on this same rollercoaster every day.
[Discussion] Hungry at work
/u/coffeexsmokes
Created: Wed Aug 23 10:09:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjzpf/hungry_at_work/
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Hey guys, I used to be active on the sub but deleted my posts while I flirted briefly with recovery. Created a new account since I know some people here who still think I'm trying to recover. But the relapse is official and I give zero fucks.
Anyhow I was looking for tips on not being hungry at work. Usually I eat overnight oats for breakfast and a large black coffee. Any ideas on how to make those more filling? Also I think I need more caffeine to help me through the brain fog, but I don't want to be obviously downing Monster or Coke Zero at my desk. How do y'all solve these issues?
[Discussion] August 23rd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjvs2/august_23rd_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Yes or no: Everyone should have a backup plan.
[Intro] [Intro] Lurker getting out of a shitty recovery
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:53:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjvoo/intro_lurker_getting_out_of_a_shitty_recovery/
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[deleted]
How the fuck have I gained so much weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:30:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjpy8/how_the_fuck_have_i_gained_so_much_weight/
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[removed]
[Help] How much is permanent weight??
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 09:28:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjpjc/how_much_is_permanent_weight/
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So after binging HARD for a month I went from 51.1 kg to 58 kg asap like wtF even is that anyway I am going back on track now but I'm still really anxious about how much of that is water weight??? Like I need assurance as my mind is killing me slowly with these horrid thoughts
[Help] Desk Snacks
/u/oksneaky [CW:No | GW:114 | 5'3.5]
Created: Wed Aug 23 08:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjf2x/desk_snacks/
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Hey! Going to the store in a bit and I'm looking for quick snacks that you can keep in a drawer! I usually only have super carb heavy emergency desk snacks (oatmeal, crackers, popcorn, loaf of bread, mac and cheese cups, ALL bad carby things) and I REALLY want other options. I am going to get tuna packets, pickles, PB crackers (in 4 packs), and canned veggies. I have a scale at my desk, a microwave available in the break room and a can opener/all eating utensils available as well. I do have access to a fridge and will bring lunch in for the day, but these people steal all the time so I don't want to leave any snacks in there over night or for several days (I actually keep a dozen eggs in there every week because people don't steal raw eggs, so far, and I use a nordicware thing to make them so eggs are here as well).
EDIT: We technically can't have unpackaged food in our desks (bugs etc) but hard fruits would probably work!
Thanks for some new ideas so I can get out of this going to the cafe monotony or eating total crap because I'm so bored of green beans and eggs :) <3
[Thinspo] I started an instagram for high fashion thinspo. @hautethinture
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 08:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vjefe/i_started_an_instagram_for_high_fashion_thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/0Vab7EG.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The Dreaded Doctor's Scale...
/u/SpilltheWine79
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vj3k7/the_dreaded_doctors_scale/
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I swore I was losing some weight, or at least less bloated than usual. I went to the doctor and basically they have my BMI higher than I'm comfortable seeing, and it's making me so upset. Does anyone else experience this? I went in there for anxiety issues and this did not really help matters.
[Discussion] DAE get jealous of old ladies
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:32:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viz55/dae_get_jealous_of_old_ladies/
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(question flair pls)
Okay I'm sorry if this is weird but I see more old ladies with thigh gaps than kids my age. And nobody ever pressures old ladies to eat more.
So my question is, DAE get jealous of weird things like this?
[Goal] A little over halfway to current GW, and wanted to share some pictures
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:32:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viyzp/a_little_over_halfway_to_current_gw_and_wanted_to/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.23
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 07:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viun9/thinspiration_823/
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http://imgur.com/a/hm0Ww
[Thinspo] Goals on goals on goals on goals
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6visai/goals_on_goals_on_goals_on_goals/
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https://i.redd.it/720euukmjhhz.jpg
[Thinspo] Her arm though😍
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:57:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6virr6/her_arm_though/
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https://i.redd.it/1pj2wln5jhhz.jpg
[Thinspo] Summer goal: to lie on the beach & NOT look like a whale...
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:53:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viqx0/summer_goal_to_lie_on_the_beach_not_look_like_a/
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https://i.redd.it/6my0z7sgihhz.jpg
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:12:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vijgu/daily_food_diary_august_23_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 23, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vij97/way_to_go_wednesday_august_23_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 23, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Intro] Long...but I'm back for a bit
/u/zaniathin
Created: Wed Aug 23 06:07:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6viios/longbut_im_back_for_a_bit/
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I deleted all my original posts here in fear I would be judged or they would be found by my husband during my pregnancy. I spent a lot of time on the babybumps subreddit and I for the most part was fairly healthy.
I was actually better. I've always hated my body, never seen it for what it was, until I got pregnant. And for once I loved my body and my bump. I gained weight, a little more than I should have but that was okay. It was for baby right?!
But then I had him. Then I was faced with the normal postpartum shock many new moms go through with their post baby bodies. My body was ruined, covered in stretch marks and disgusting layers of fat...
I weighed a whopping 194.8 lbs by the end of my pregnancy. Today I weigh 160.6 lbs at almost 3 months postpartum. 34 lbs down.
And for some reason it doesn't feel like enough. Not even close. I'm slipping back into old tendencies and habits, a lot of which I had forgotten I had/did.
I'm living with my parents while my husband is deployed, I don't breastfeed because I dried up from stress/my postpartum depression taking a toll on my body. My dad however eats paleo, so as a health measure I decided I should try it. I lost 10 lbs in two weeks.
And now its started. Now I've noticed the habits and calorie counting and portion obsession. I cook all of our meals to avoid having to do dishes i say (i cook, they clean) but its really so I know exactly whats going into my food. I'm becoming food obsessive again and its not okay.
But at the same time as I know its unhealthy, something in me is happy? I shouldn't be happy about being sick but I am? So here's to me being back here after over a year. At least for a little while.
[Rant/Rave] Worst week ever
/u/fatbatch
Created: Wed Aug 23 05:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vi8ff/worst_week_ever/
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I lost it this week. I've been so good and doing so well, lost a stone in a month and was on track for my GW before October... then this week happened. I told myself I looked fine, my boyfriend was complimenting me and I ate everything in sight and binged every day. I weighed myself yesterday and I've put on 8 pounds. EIGHT POUNDS IN ONE WEEK. I worked so hard and it's all been for nothing. I feel like such a failure, thinking of myself makes me feel sick, I don't even know why I ate so much.
Please help, I fee disgusting and I just want to lose all that fat I have put on this week. You know that feeling of existential dread where your stomach feels like it's dropped and your mouth gets dry and you have an overwhelming sense of panic? That's how I feel now every time I think about what I've eaten this week.
I don't know what to do. I feel like my life is falling apart.
[Rant/Rave] Bonus of going through a breakup: no hunger. Lol
/u/jessiemariexx
Created: Wed Aug 23 04:01:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhylp/bonus_of_going_through_a_breakup_no_hunger_lol/
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[removed]
[Help] I got called "healthy," and I'm also sorta going through a breakup.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:54:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhxm9/i_got_called_healthy_and_im_also_sorta_going/
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The breakup is complicated, and we're technically still together, but he came out to me as polyamorous, so I feel like we're breaking up because the relationship won't be the same ever again.
But yeah, I was at my bf's house yesterday, and he told me that his mom said I looked "healthy" now (I've gained 10 lbs). WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER TELL THAT TO A PERSON WITH AN ED WHO HAS GAINED WEIGHT? Because, regardless of the wording she used, what I heard is that she noticed my weight gain. WHY would I want to know that? Fuck.
My mind is confused as to whether I want to binge or restrict. I usually restrict when I hate myself, and I binge when I hate everything else. But I hate both right now, so I need to make a decision, lol. -__-
[Rant/Rave] The shame after a binge
/u/girlinschool
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:49:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhx00/the_shame_after_a_binge/
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I keep falling into this trap. I know how it makes me feel. The shame and regret are like nothing else and it makes me want to push an imaginary rewind button and start over. It wasn't even enjoyable food. It was cold and bland, but highly fattening. It was just *available*. I could have eaten the caramel rice cake, a fuji apple, or a salad, which I think I would have enjoyed more as far as taste and the lack of guilt while eating it, but I went for the most caloric-densed food because I like to self-sabotage. I hate myself.
[Help] Freaking out about a mis-sold dinner out.
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:44:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhwc8/freaking_out_about_a_missold_dinner_out/
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The other day my boyfriend asked if either of our two housemates wanted to go for a quiet meal tomorrow night and we all said yes. There were going to be four of us in total.
Now one of my housemates has invited two other people and I know it's going to turn into a big, boozy meal where we order starters to share, sides to share etc. And we'll split the bill between us despite me not having any of it. It's overwhelming and I'm freaking out. I can deal with things like this if I'm given notice but this feels like an ambush.
It was already going to be the first meal out I've ever had without going to the gym first because I'm in recovery. It was already going to be a big step. I told my boyfriend my thoughts and he just said "well if you don't want to come don't come, but *I'm* looking forward to it" and rolled over and went to sleep.
Now I feel like I have noone to talk to and I still don't know what to do.
[Discussion] What was the worst thing anyone has ever said about your body?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Wed Aug 23 03:28:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhu27/what_was_the_worst_thing_anyone_has_ever_said/
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I'm feeling like throwing a pity party today, so come and join me. Here's my list thus far:
"Your body makes you look like an older woman" - classmate, out of nowhere, at the age of 13.
"That thing" - another classmate, around the same time period.
"It's ok, I'm fine with it" - boyfriend, when I first confessed having body issues. Because I've always wanted to be just "okay" in the eyes of the guy I love.
"Your butt wouldn't pass that pencil test" - boyfriend, not quite thinking what he was saying at the moment.
"Oh, you're wearing [X]" - also him, every time I wear something nice. Let's just say, my fancy lingerie has been staying in the drawers for a while now :/
[Thinspo] [Male Thinspo] Saint Laurent F/W Menswear 2016-2017 [39 Images]
/u/95CHOI
Created: Wed Aug 23 01:44:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vhglu/male_thinspo_saint_laurent_fw_menswear_20162017/
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http://imgur.com/a/vUlKJ
[Help] omg i literally just ate so much?!?!? (also like how much weight am i going to gain from this?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 23 00:31:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vh6er/omg_i_literally_just_ate_so_much_also_like_how/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone use an apple watch as a fitbit replacement?
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 22:22:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vgltm/anyone_use_an_apple_watch_as_a_fitbit_replacement/
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I have a fitbit and I love it. It's cute and as far as I know it's good at it's job. But sometimes people (honestly usually friends) say things about how I don't need one/shouldn't have one/whatever. Like, "OMG you're about to blow away why do you need to count steps?"
So I thought maybe if I got an apple watch and used that instead (I think they count steps right?) nobody would think anything of it because people don't really associate it with like trying to lose weight or whatever
[Rant/Rave] I bought a new scale today and it made me very happy
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 21:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vggyu/i_bought_a_new_scale_today_and_it_made_me_very/
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The last time I actually weighed myself was Januaryish because my roommate and I shared a scale in our kitchen and one night we were drunk and spilled wine on it on accident and just never bought a new one. My parents have one but it's in their bathroom so I would have to go out of my way to use it and tbh I legit thought I had gained like 20 pounds since winter because I've been drinking a lot more so I was afraid to use it.
So today I was at target and saw the fitbit aria scale and it looked so cute so I bought it and used it guess what! I'm only 2 pounds more than I was last winter :D
[Rant/Rave] i binged after a three day fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 21:47:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vgfey/i_binged_after_a_three_day_fast/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What do your designated binge days look like?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Tue Aug 22 21:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vgdl3/what_do_your_designated_binge_days_look_like/
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Today I woke up and was like yup yap yup I'm outta control. I ate so many corn flakes. And cans of soup. Just straight outta the can!! And my sis made us pasta!!! And now I'm eating a lot of yogurt!!! Tomorrow's a new day...right?
Anywhoozles. I wanna feel less alone in this. What y'all eating on your bingey days?
[Rant/Rave] Of course I of all people have to be cast as the 'skinny' role.
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 20:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vg0iw/of_course_i_of_all_people_have_to_be_cast_as_the/
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Currently I'm in highschool and I do theater. It kind of sucks considering I didn't get very many good parts until recently. I'm always concerned that my director/teacher thinks I'm a clumsy whale.
Well, luck as it is, the character I'm playing is supposed to be small and skinny. There's a whole scene where I'm trying to avoid being killed and I pretend to be starved and gross. I have to suck my stomach in during it and everything. (I'm a goat and there are trolls trying to kill me, it's hard to explain)
Wouldn't be bad except I'm on the line of being obese and I really don't want to say some lines about how I have "small bones" and stuff because I know people are gonna laugh at that since I'm so big.
I guess the only brightside is I'm the smallest person in the show? God help me.
[Rant/Rave] I think therapy and my therapist's weight goals are bullshit
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | CW118/GW115 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 20:05:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfvr8/i_think_therapy_and_my_therapists_weight_goals/
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I'm 5'7" and weigh between 115-118 depending on the week. It's the lowest I have ever weighed since... like 10 years ago. My therapist is beside herself. For some reason I need to be around 125 in her mind. But honestly? To my bf and his family I look fine if not on the "thin" side. They say I look like an athlete at the peak of competition season. In pictures I feel like I look good, not sick. At the gym, I don't get dirty looks. So why go to therapy and pay to hear that I'm not okay?
I just want to be alone with Ana
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 20:04:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfvfs/i_just_want_to_be_alone_with_ana/
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[deleted]
It's okay to eat 1,300 calories in a day because my body needs it to refuel itself after a period of restriction. I won't gain weight.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:56:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vftri/its_okay_to_eat_1300_calories_in_a_day_because_my/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] "You're so squishy!"
/u/Suusss
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfnxo/youre_so_squishy/
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THEN HE IMMEDIATELY REALIZES WHAT HE HAS SAID AND SPENDS THE NEXT 15 MINUTES APOLOGIZING WITH EARNEST REGRET - HOWEVER THIS ONLY FURTHERS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN THIS SHORT STORY OF MY LIFE !! Fml #squishy
[Rant/Rave] Successfully restricting, yet I still feel like garbage :(
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW166 | GW120 | BMI24.07 | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:19:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfmjm/successfully_restricting_yet_i_still_feel_like/
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I did 3 days of fasting after eating normally beforehand, broke it with a good 2200 calorie meal. I was able to stop when I was full for once! Like I threw away food and put some away for others and didn't go back for it! not even a day later! And even before I did that, toward the end I felt full and could have stopped but didn't want to waste my favorite meal ever, which is dumb since it's literally a few blocks from my house.
I plan on doing ADF until I'm ready to go longterm again but even with all this accomplishment for me I still feel worthless. I feel like any normal person could have done this, what I consider a huge achievement and breakthrough for my disordered eating, like it was nothing and thought as much of it. I'm not hungry and I don't feel bad physically, I even did some incline walking at the gym, but I just feel... Underdeveloped. I feel like I'll never be able to just eat like I should. Toddlers have mastered eating better than me, a basic human function, how can I ever expect to become a full-fledged functioning adult if I can't even get that right?
I can already tell I'm gonna be restricting bad this week. I feel so powerless over my own mood, I had a great day with my bf yesterday and now today I feel like I'm rotting from the inside out. I just really want to be thin, I have wanted it more than anything in my life for so long now. I hope everybody reading this is having a better time than me, but if not please tell me about your crap day so I can secondhand wallow in it lmao
[Rant/Rave] kinda losing my shit lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 19:00:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfiq8/kinda_losing_my_shit_lol/
---
[deleted]
[Other] When I'm fucked up, that's the real me…
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:150lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 18:57:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfi4p/when_im_fucked_up_thats_the_real_me/
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I had my husbands birthday party one weekend, got married (while being fat) the week after and then just spent a week recalibrating and hating myself for my weight loss plateau
I started restricting and counting again on Monday. Three days in and I already feel a sense of calm and control.
It's weird but, I feel my ED keeps me sane.
[Rant/Rave] You don't say?
/u/kittyleaf
Created: Tue Aug 22 18:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vfc5s/you_dont_say/
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https://i.redd.it/htuqu2fltdhz.jpg
[Intro] Hey everyone, I'm relapsing again.
/u/kattykit5896 [5'3 | CW: 99 lbs | GW: 110 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 17:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vf2e3/hey_everyone_im_relapsing_again/
---
Hey, I hope you guys don't mind me posting here cause I'm technically just trying to maintain my weight. I've been eating disordered for almost 8 years now and I'm sick of it. I want to get better so that I can exercise again. I used to dance, swim and climb, and I'm also keen on gymnastics. I'm also studying nursing, and I know I have to recover in order to succeed in my field.
I hope you guys don't mind me posting here, sometimes I really just need to rant about how shit and scary it is to have to gain while everything in your head tells you that you're fine (I find that /r/fuckeatingdisorders is a bit too inactive for me) .
Anyway, I like art, reading, writing and music. If you'd like to chat with me about anything, hit me up.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Tue Aug 22 17:05:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6veu4g/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/54btdbhvedhz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE wait until they feel like they've lost "enough" weight before actually getting on the scale?
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍌5'5" | 116 | GW1: 110🍉]
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:58:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vesce/dae_wait_until_they_feel_like_theyve_lost_enough/
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This is going to sound so dumb because I'm not even at the weight I want to be anyway. I weighed myself 3 weeks ago and clocked in at 116, which is what I weighed my freshman year of highschool (5 years ago) when I was super athletic and ate normally with no guilt. Definitely no where near my lowest weight but I haven't been below 115 since recovery and I feel so close....
I can't tell if I have lost weight since then because I went on vacation with my family and definitely indulged. I'm terrified to see where I am now. I know I'm still <120 but I just don't want to see 116 again. For the past year, I've maintained at 122 and relapsed into restrictive tendencies the past few months. I want to see something lower and I won't get on that damn scale until I "feel" there is physically less of myself. I'm terrified of finding out I'm at a higher weight. I'm going to be so disappointed and upset it will just ruin my whole day :( so I keep putting off weigh day, hoping that next week, maybe just maybe, I'll be at 115 even though I want to know where I'm at sooo badly. Any one else feel like that?
[Rant/Rave] My purge got interrupted and I'm sO MAD
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:48:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6veqe2/my_purge_got_interrupted_and_im_so_mad/
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[removed]
[Help] Peach? Wat
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:22:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vekkf/peach_wat/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just can't eat like a normal person
/u/BathtubDweller
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:19:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vejxf/i_just_cant_eat_like_a_normal_person/
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Fuck my life...I had sushi, edamame, and sweet potato tempura and basically inhaled like 1200+ cal in one sitting and then just HAD to have an ice cream because I'm not fat enough!! I'm so tired of myself and my stupid body. I just can't eat without wanting to continue eating the day away. So I've just decided I'm going to "fast" and just live on Pepsi max and gum. I'm just getting fatter and fatter and fatter everyday and if I don't stop right the fuck now I'll probably be obese by the end of the week because of my awful metabolism. I'm so done with food. God fucking dammit.
in the hospital for 3 months, gained 30 lbs
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 130 | GW: 90 | UGW: 85 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 16:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vei2z/in_the_hospital_for_3_months_gained_30_lbs/
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[removed]
[Other] I love you guys
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve9t6/i_love_you_guys/
---
Legit this is my home... No matter how many times I leave, I always come back.
This is the most loving and supportive community.
You are all amazing and beautiful and I love you.
Thanks for existing.
[Rant/Rave] :^) I'm fatter than I previously thought kill me
/u/throwthisshitaway612
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:26:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve7z3/im_fatter_than_i_previously_thought_kill_me/
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I went on vacation with my family for 2 months, no scale, and thought I would have lost a few pounds because I'd been eating less than I did before I started restricting and all... Nope. I gained 2 pounds. Ugh, it was so obvious I didn't lose with my stomach sticking out like this. Why did I get my hopes up? Well, at least now I can know that I *am* as fat as I look. Sorry for posting in such rapid succession, I just made this throwaway and am trying to say everything I wanted to in the past I don't remember how long I've been reading these posts. Anyway, thanks for letting me say this before retreating back into lurkdom 😙
Cutting and exercise?
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:18:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve623/cutting_and_exercise/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How do you guys count your calories?
/u/throwthisshitaway612
Created: Tue Aug 22 15:06:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ve36g/how_do_you_guys_count_your_calories/
---
I just find the calories of everything that's packaged, count up the ones in whatever I make, add it all up, and add on a few extra for package rounding. Does this seem very accurate? God, I hope it is. Anyway, what do you guys do? Do you use an app or something? That's probably a lot more efficient lol
[Rant/Rave] Those of you who manage intense workouts plus restriction (starts clapping furiously)
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 14:50:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdzmf/those_of_you_who_manage_intense_workouts_plus/
---
Since I started ramping up my gym hours + started doing regular HIIT workouts our good old friend Hunger has been rearing his ugly head more often and I've been eating at least 300 kcal more each day on average (eek).
I have been burning around 500 per session a day but I can't help but feel I'm hindering my progress by eating more... There are pros and cons to exercise (mainly pros) and I'm one of those annoying goal people so I've set myself a goal to go to the gym every day until Christmas. I've managed nearly a month but damn I don't know how I can keep under 800 kcal a day as even this isn't as filling as less plus just walking...
I just wanted to rant and let you people who can exercise and restrict know that wow, you're strong.
<3
[Help] Low calorie foods that don't seem like diet foods
/u/cocochaichai
Created: Tue Aug 22 14:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdxes/low_calorie_foods_that_dont_seem_like_diet_foods/
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Hi guys! Ok so I know this is sort of an odd request but I'm still in high school and my parents obviously are in charge of the shopping. This year I have a job and my sis had a ton of extra curricular activities so we're no longer going to be having family dinners (yay more freedom to restrict!). My mom will pretty much buy me any food I ask her to get for meals, but they do know I have a history with an ED because they read my diary from middle school (whole other awful story) so I can't ask for straight up obvious diet food if that makes sense, because I'm not ready to recover right now and don't want them getting suspicious. Since I'm now officially on my own for all my meals do you guys have any ideas? Oh also I am a vegetarian so meatless ideas would be appreciated :)
[Help] Fasting and school?
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:57:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdm3r/fasting_and_school/
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I'm doing my first 48 hour fast and I'm going to school tomorrow. Just in general, do you guys have any tips for fasting/restricting in school? I try not to drink much while I'm there because I have social anxiety and it's too terrifying for me to ask to use the bathroom. Any help at all would help tons.
[Discussion] DAE sabotage their desires for certain foods?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdgic/dae_sabotage_their_desires_for_certain_foods/
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For example, tonight I planned to have muesli, having fasted all day. So pretty low cal - good plan all round.
Then I got curry on the brain - I made a really good one a little while back and froze a portion. I REALLY WANTED IT. And I have no will power, so of course was going to cave and no doubt eat a ton of rice with it. It honestly was a craving I couldn't fight. So I forced myself to eat tomato paste smooshed up with coriander and salt, which was DISGUSTING. And then of course I didn't want the curry any more because OH GOD PLEASE NO NOT CORIANDER AND TOMATO BASED SAUCE.
On reflection, this strikes me as something a crazy person might do (but probably wouldn't, because it was just awful). But just on the off-chance, does anybody here do similar?
Oh and FYI I'm about to get into bed to eat my muesli 🙃 I am feeling strangely victorious...
[Goal] Anyone here not diagnosed?
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:29:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdf5v/anyone_here_not_diagnosed/
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Im not diagnosed, and try to keep this part of my life hidden and don't want anyone to find out. I hide it fairly well as no one has suspected a thing. I'm at my goal weight of 100 lbs, and want to lose five more by the end of this month. But I noticed a lot of people here seem diagnosed, and honestly I'm starting to wonder if I even have an ED at all. All I know is that the way I eat is definitely not the way "normal" people eat. Want to make sure I'm not alone.
[Rant/Rave] DAE have mad supporting and accepting significant others?
/u/NavigationalError [5'2'' | cw/bmi: kms | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:18:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vdcm9/dae_have_mad_supporting_and_accepting_significant/
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I just wanted to talk about my significant other and how nice it is to have someone who, of course, doesn't like that I have ED tendencies. However, he's still trying to be accepting and supporting me through a half recovery, half ED.
Speaking of which, he bought me a kitchen scale!! I was going to buy it myself, but he said last minute: "babe im going to buy you the scale on your wishlist too ok" He knows how aggravating it is to me when I can't accurately track calories because of the weight guidelines. (I mean like if they say oz instead of cups/fl oz/tsp/tbsp)
It might seem like this is nothing, but we're long distance and it's something he saw me talk about so much that he bought it for me. (He bought me 36 fineliners for ED journalling and a face mask for relaxing too. (-: )
[Other] Stay strong, lovelies 💛💙💛💙
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:05:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vd98r/stay_strong_lovelies/
---
https://i.redd.it/2f5d7qgw7chz.jpg
[Help] Okay i need help.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 13:04:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vd903/okay_i_need_help/
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[deleted]
[Help] Anyone do yoga/calisthenics/etc?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 12:11:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcw0s/anyone_do_yogacalisthenicsetc/
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I've always wanted to get into it but never felt I was ~ready~. I wanted to be stronger or leaner or lighter before I started. But it's like saying I want to be a fast runner before I start runner.
I have to just do it. But I'm a bit overwhelmed and that's stopped me from doing it as well. I wanted to do it the ~right~ way. But I need to just start.
I was curious if anyone else does this and has any tips for apps or guides or something to start.
[Help] headaches while restricting
/u/oniondipndots
Created: Tue Aug 22 12:07:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcv5b/headaches_while_restricting/
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[removed]
[Other] I honestly thought this was a post here...it's funny to see the overlap of tendencies.
/u/beepitymeep
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:37:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcng1/i_honestly_thought_this_was_a_post_hereits_funny/
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https://i.redd.it/eytxqw7bsbhz.jpg
I can't deal with hunger
/u/ThisIsGumpy
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcmn7/i_cant_deal_with_hunger/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Reached highest weight ever.
/u/fruitandfood [🦊 5'7" | 136.4 | 21.29 | F 🌻]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:33:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcmfa/reached_highest_weight_ever/
---
I weighed myself for the first time in around 2 weeks expecting to be around 130 pounds. Nope. 136.4. I was shocked, but I checked with various weights and making sure the scale was accurate, but nope I'm 136.4.
Before I would increase .0000001lbs and would feel so disgusted, now I'm almost just apathetic.
I've made negative progress this summer, instead of losing weight, I gained it. I was already struggling with higher numbers due to getting taller, but this reallyyyyy sucks.
I was going to take the closest thing to a day off exercise that I could today and just go running, but not anymore! Which means I have my normal few hours of exercise to go do and I have a late start.
I was waiting to update my flair until I was a weight I was atleast slightly ok with, but no. I'm putting up my highest weight and BMI.
Also, somehow I am more scared of the BMI than the actual number?? It seems really strange but my BMI being that much higher than it ever was makes me *so* scared.
Hope every one else is having a better day! :)
[Rant/Rave] Oh. My. God. Personal win!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:28:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcl33/oh_my_god_personal_win/
---
I was driving home when I got that sudden urge for the QT donuts I've become quite fond of.
I talk myself out of that by remembering there's a Sprouts on my way home and they'd probably have some suitable baked goods.
I grab an entire cake (small, ~1600 cal), then move on to the produce section for binge fruit and veg.
By the time I've loaded up my cart with all that stuff, I realize that if I eat all that, I'm gonna be soooo full.
I also realize that when I get home I would definitely eat the cake first and probably end up eating all the other stuff too. I start internally chanting to myself "you can put it back, you can put it back..."
I PUT IT BACK. Then I considered getting a "baby boule," which is ~600 cal, but then I would put some kind of fat on it too. SO I DIDN'T GET THAT.
I eventually settled on a couple of jalapeño rolls - 80 calories each!!!!!
I worked my donuts (who knows how many) to a 1600 cal cake down to 160 cal rolls. Got a bunch of binge fruit and veg too but at least they're healthy.
Guys. Guys. I am SO proud of myself. I've binged the last several days and was going to try my best to fast, but this was a small step for Moomaid-kind.
[Help] I'm getting help
/u/iamLuc [5'5 | too fat | -27 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:24:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vck0t/im_getting_help/
---
This has been a long, rough journey for me. I've been in the cycle of binging and restricting for as long as I can remember. I have an appointment for tomorrow to see a therapist and different appointment tomorrow to see a nutritionist. I'm going to try to get healthy, mentally and physically. Thank you for all of the support you've given me.
(I don't know what flair this would be under but I'm also on mobile.)
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend finally accepts it
/u/CandidTriceratops [ 5'5'' | 208.8 | 34.8 | -17lbs | M]
Created: Tue Aug 22 11:20:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcj7z/boyfriend_finally_accepts_it/
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By "accept" I mean he has finally realized that himself alone can't fix me and forcing me to eat is actually hurting me mentally. He is letting me decide what I want to eat rather than joining the family for dinner which is usually very high calorie. I'm very happy because in the middle of a very bad situation and a relapse the last thing I need is him getting angry at me for not eating. Obviously he prefers if I eat at least once a day and wouldn't let me get to the point of dying but he is not controlling me now.
[Thinspo] My thinspo ❤️
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 10:59:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vcdy4/my_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/l7pq8ejjlbhz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Fuck my non anorexic binging ass....
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 09:53:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbxgc/fuck_my_non_anorexic_binging_ass/
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[removed]
i don't think he's attracted to me...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 09:34:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbsui/i_dont_think_hes_attracted_to_me/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE notice the smaller the get, the more stares/jealous people seem to be?
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Tue Aug 22 09:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbn9n/dae_notice_the_smaller_the_get_the_more/
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Hi let me preface this by saying I have a big ego so it may just all be in my head
But! I notice that with every pound lost I notice more people staring at me or giving me "dirty" looks. I notice it a lot when I'm at the grocery store and only pick up super healthy food, and someone with loads of junk food glances into my cart. Most of the time they're people who are overweight or not as thin as me. I also have a really bad resting bitch face so it may just be them thinking I'm mean and them being mean back.
Am I the only one or has my head just gotten even bigger
[Tip] Remember to moisturize!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbjwo/remember_to_moisturize/
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Losing weight the way we do I've noticed that a lot of us experience this weird doughy phase in our stomachs. A way to combat this is to keep your skin hydrated so the elasticity can "bounce back" quicker so to speak.
After you get out of the shower (yes, everyday!), find some time to lather your body up in lotion. Your skin, and S.O will thank you for it ;)
[Tip] When 8/10 of your Amazon recommendations are popsicle-related
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbjpi/when_810_of_your_amazon_recommendations_are/
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I'm currently obsessed with popsicles! Low calorie, refreshing, filling and help when on the weekends I get desperately thirsty eating near maintenance but can't actually drink liquids without feeling like I'm going to pop. Some days my ED leads me to find wonderful new things, alldapopsicles. My favorite are kombucha pops but also make Greek yogurt pops.
[Rant/Rave] only one more week
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:29:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vbdob/only_one_more_week/
---
The vast majority of my anxiety comes from my family. Even trying to describe it, here, is beyond me—I cannot stand to be around them.
At last, though, I will be leaving.
I have a full scholarship—room, board, and tuition. I stole back my social security card, passport, and birth certificate. I have never been more certain of anything else in my life: I’m done.
I’m done with being berated for being fat, and then again for being too skinny. First, every morning on the scale—“fat!”, and later, every night—“emaciated!”
I’m done with being the volunteer therapist for my parents, who are and have always been just petulant children throwing tantrums.
I’m done with being verbally flensed every time something goes wrong in their lives—I take the abuse they wish they could direct at policemen, secretaries, waiters, their bosses, and each other.
I’m done with being gaslit about my memories, emotions, and interests.
Only one more week 🥂✨
[Rant/Rave] The binge eating is the last to go.
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:05:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vb8an/the_binge_eating_is_the_last_to_go/
---
Man it's been a while.
Today I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth, insides that felt dirty, and the handful of laxatives I took last night aren't wreaking havoc on my body the way they used to.
I "recovered" from anorexia. Hell, I can use stuff I learned in therapy to minimize my purging. What I can't seem to fucking do though is stop the binge eating and I'm getting so fat I can't take it anymore.
Don't you love when a guy you're hung up on ditches you for a new gf who's 1/10th your size?? :)
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11", idk what i weigh, 🍑 is same as here]
Created: Tue Aug 22 08:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vb6w2/dont_you_love_when_a_guy_youre_hung_up_on_ditches/
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[removed]
[Discussion] August 22nd, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Tue Aug 22 07:52:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vb5cu/august_22nd_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What can't you forget?
[Help] Anyone ever make their own miracle noodles from scratch? Any low-cal culinary pro tips?
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Tue Aug 22 07:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vaz30/anyone_ever_make_their_own_miracle_noodles_from/
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For about a year, I've had glucomannan powder (Konjac root) on deck to take as a fiber supplement and appetite suppressant. One day it occurred to me that some miracle (zero-carb) noodles are made with this, so I googled how to make my own.
I made the gel last night and it's in my fridge to firm up. I'm excited to go home tonight and make noodles out of it. Not sure how yet. Maybe it will work in my veggie spiralizer? I might just use a veggie peeler.
Any advice is welcome!! Love you all!
[Other] tfw you want to buy binge food (humor)
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:23:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6van1r/tfw_you_want_to_buy_binge_food_humor/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.22
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:23:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vamyk/thinspiration_822/
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http://imgur.com/a/nk92L
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vakfe/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_22_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vakem/daily_food_diary_august_22_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 22, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] Omg. Thinspo.
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:05:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vajht/omg_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/bkj625445ahz.jpg
[Discussion] Can we change the sidebar that implies an eating disorder is what leads to perfection?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 06:00:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vaigk/can_we_change_the_sidebar_that_implies_an_eating/
---
[deleted]
Will anyone be watching this 'Wasting Away' documentary?
/u/kittygkn
Created: Tue Aug 22 05:38:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6vaebq/will_anyone_be_watching_this_wasting_away/
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https://www.thememo.com/2017/08/22/watch-wasting-away-the-truth-about-anorexia-channel-4-wasting-away-mark-austin/
[Intro] I saw a chance to get to my lowest weight, and I took it. I'm really scared.
/u/yesyeshihello
Created: Tue Aug 22 05:06:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6va8va/i_saw_a_chance_to_get_to_my_lowest_weight_and_i/
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Have you ever read the side effects of some random medicine and saw 'anorexia' in there and thought, how the hell is that a thing. Well I just found out how.
I lived with eating disorders since I was 15 years old. I went through them all, and finally at around the age of 20 I was deep in bulimia and I couldn't take it so I tried to get help - although all I got was a diagnosis. Years passed and I managed to recover from it all. And I was truly recovered, for over two and a half years I lived with no scale, finally got to a point where I could eat anything I wanted with no guilt and my weight stabilized at a healthy 52kg (I'm 1,56 or 1,57m, sorry I don't know how any of this translates. I think I'm 5'1 or 2?), which I found out only whenever I had to go to the doctor for whatever reason. I was happy and healthy and never gave my weight a second thought again.
Sounds like a dream, right? It certainly was mine.
Earlier this year I started having some trouble with my anxiety. I was having frequent panic attacks and felt completely out of control, so I went to see a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder. We talked about my eating disorder and he said it was most likely a side effect of the anxiety, just something I focused on to keep my anxiety at bay. He put me on an SSRI and benzodiazepines - the latter I don't take daily because I'm well aware of their consequences.
Anyway I started noticing I was eating less, which makes sense seeing as I'll always snack when I'm anxious.
Then we (my boyfriend, my dog and I) moved to a place with a scale. And I hoped on and it said 50,9kg. Then a week went by and I hoped on again and it was down to 50,5kg. No dieting, no exercising, just random weight loss. I was so happy!
We all know how this goes and eventually I was weighting myself daily and of course keeping a record of it. It kept going down. I started to eat a little less, tried not to have seconds at dinner.
Fast forward a month and this past friday, after sleeping for over 12 hours (so obviously I was dehydrated and it was later than it usually was when I weighted in) I saw a 48,9kg on the scale. I freaked. I hadn't seen a 48 on the scale in over 4 years, when I met my boyfriend and I was a mess of a person, throwing up daily. 48. I was happy at 48, I remembered. I wore skirts. I didn't hate myself. I still sat on the couch that night and ate all the cookies I could find.
Saturday morning I watched To The Bone. I know that sounds so silly but I guess it was triggering, and I restricted the whole weekend. Monday morning I weighted in at 48,3kg.
Today, 48,0kg.
I'm both ecstatic, and completely terrified. The only time in my life I ever went under 48kg was for a couple of days when I was 16 - I got down to 46kg and I fainted and then gained it back. And I was never underweight.
Now I can see 45kg so clearly and so easily and it scares me.
In three days I managed to do so many of the things I swore I'd never do again. I skipped meals. I threw away food. I counted calories. I lied to my boyfriend...
I'm back in.
I doubt anyone will read this far but if you do, thank you. I feel completely lost and alone, I'm so glad I could find a place to get this out of my chest.
[Rant/Rave] I disgust people.
/u/_pancaste_ [5'6 | 127 | -21]
Created: Tue Aug 22 04:50:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6va6g7/i_disgust_people/
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At a party a few weeks ago, I was introduced to a guy. We chatted for about thirty minutes, pretty standard smalltalk, nothing more. Late last week while I was browsing Facebook, he popped up as a "person you might know," because we have a bunch of mutual friends. I vaguely remembered him from the party, so I sent him a friend request.
He blocked me. Then at a party on Saturday night, he completely ignored me, refusing to make eye contact all evening. I asked one of our mutual friends what the fuck was up, and she got embarrassed and said he'd told her that "he was flattered, but not really interested."
Just because I sent a friend request.
I wasn't remotely attracted to this guy. I just figured I'd be friendly and add him, because I thought that was the normal thing to do when you meet someone? But no one wants to be associated with the fat, ugly girl. Even the idea of me being romantically interested in someone sends them running. I keep thinking that if I were thin and beautiful, there wouldn't be any stigma in being my friend.
🙃
[Discussion] How do you guys deal with fatigue?
/u/Sleepy_Golden_Storm [5'5" | CW: 112 lbs | LW: 98 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 03:06:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9s74/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_fatigue/
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Since school is starting up again for a lot of us, being half-asleep 24/7 isn't gonna cut it anymore. So how do y'all stay energized and focused enough to function? I pretty much rely on the obvious caffeine at the moment, but I'd love to hear what works for everyone else.
[Help] How to consult a doctor without being pressured/forced into any kind of treatment?
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 102 | BMI: 17.5 | GW: 99 | UGW: 94 | SW: 120 | 24F]
Created: Tue Aug 22 02:55:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9qqg/how_to_consult_a_doctor_without_being/
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I've only been losing weight for a year and even now I'm only barely underweight, but... in addition to symptoms I've had for a while and have grown pretty used to (constipation, lightheadedness, fatigue), lately I've been noticing some additional things that are a little more concerning to me: intermittent chest pain, little lights occasionally floating by in my peripheral vision, dizziness/cold sweat specifically in response to strobe light (which has never, *ever* happened to me before, so it freaked me out), and possible early signs of lanugo (I've always had peach fuzz on my abdomen and arms but it *seems* to be getting thicker/longer, though I could easily be imagining it).
Anyway, I'm not comfortable with trying to gain weight or stop restricting, but I'm also just a little worried and it would be nice to talk to a doctor.
I would like to go see a doctor and see if I can get some blood tests done. But I don't want to see a doctor and have them pressure/force me to seek treatment or anything like that—I'm not ready for that; I don't have time for it, and as stupid as it sounds I still want to lose more weight. But at the same time, I would like to at least make myself aware of what (if any) damage I might have done to my body already.
Obviously, though, if I'm going to be asking to have specific blood tests done, I'm going to have to be honest with the doctor about why I'm making that request, and I don't know what protocol is for doctors as far as handling potential eating disorders goes (i.e. how forceful they can be in encouraging a patient to seek treatment, who they can or may contact, etc). If it matters, I'm in the U.S. and was hoping to go to my university's med center, as it's the most convenient and affordable option for me, but I could go elsewhere if need be.
**TL;DR** — *Just want to have some basic tests done and be on my way, without worrying about follow-ups or treatment.*
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:59:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9jdk/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/geeefjz7x8hz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Sabotage
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | 19bmi | -140 | 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:52:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9ifr/sabotage/
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I'm such a fucking fat cow. I was mid fast, maybe 65 hours in (I fast a lot) and today I hit my lowest weight which was exciting. Knowing that weight fluctuates I knew in my mind it may go up and down as my body LOVES to do but either way
I SABOTAGE myself. I ate 2 bowls of pecan but clusters with yogurt and that wouldn't even be a lot but I'm crying and feel so dumb. Just so dumb because I'm constantly sabotaging myself- fast for 5 days? "Binge" in my sense of the word
I couldn't hate myself more right now I was clinging to that to get me through a shit day but I fucked up because I'm a fuck up
Silver lining
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW139 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW121]
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:42:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9h7o/silver_lining/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I think my family might be starting to notice what's going on
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:36:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9gho/i_think_my_family_might_be_starting_to_notice/
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[deleted]
"I Just Want A Pretty Thick Girl Who Knows How To Eat And Knows How To Cook"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 22 01:12:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v9def/i_just_want_a_pretty_thick_girl_who_knows_how_to/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] When you feel like making brownies at 2 a.m but the castor oil+stool softener combo from earlier is kicking in again 💩
/u/brita09234890235
Created: Mon Aug 21 23:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v92rc/when_you_feel_like_making_brownies_at_2_am_but/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 23:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8wqk/_/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The break up diet is the best diet
/u/50shadesofskinny
Created: Mon Aug 21 23:07:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8v9w/the_break_up_diet_is_the_best_diet/
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Flair rant I'm on mobile
My ex dumped me last week after telling me he's still in love with his ex from college even though we've been together over a year and have been living together for over a year, too and we just signed a new lease so my broke ass is having to scramble to find a place for myself and did I mention he did this to me the day the DA turned down my rape case for trial like don't get me wrong guys I love that I can't eat but I'm also fucking drowning in how weak and fucking worthless I feel so it's almost not worth the trouble.
I would rather be dead tbh
[Rant/Rave] i missed y'all
/u/peanutbutteredbanana
Created: Mon Aug 21 22:46:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8rqq/i_missed_yall/
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thought I could recover. instead, today I ate so much until I was laying on the bathroom floor dry heaving. then I proceeded to go out to eat ten minutes later. as soon as I got done eating, I went to dollar tree to buy cheap shitty junk food. went out to hang out with friends and I came home and I'm immediately binging. i fucking hate eating disorders. i just wish I could be normal.
[Rant/Rave] Weight loss must be real because I am starting to get comments.
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 22:00:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8k0g/weight_loss_must_be_real_because_i_am_starting_to/
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Saw some family I haven't seen in a while. They said I was looking good but also that I could use some more weight. They've never said that before and overall they never comment on weight, so that felt nice.
I guess it's really going down if I'm starting to get comments. I don't usually see the changes, so it's things like that (or clothes falling off etc) that tell me I can believe the scale.
Happy :)
[Intro] It was a hard choice.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 21:31:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v8euq/it_was_a_hard_choice/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm seeing my ex on Saturday
/u/HornsOfTheAltar [5'7 | CW: 130 | GW: 115 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:59:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7wfq/im_seeing_my_ex_on_saturday/
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Because that's move-in day at my university. And he called me last night (first time in a month or so--we basically never talk) to catch up, and informed me that he's started working out.
Meanwhile, I binged hardcore Saturday night and probably consumed upwards of 3000 calories. I literally started doing crunches right after he said that, still keeping up our conversation to the best of my ability.
I know it's petty, guys, but... If he looks good, I have to look better. Heavy restriction this week and more exercise. No binging whatsoever. No cheat days. There's not enough time for another slip-up. I don't need to go back to school looking like a fat POS.
That being said, I'm fairly new to counting calories, so if y'all have some filling, low-cal meals or snacks to recommend, please help a sister out. Or positive words of encouragement would suffice. Thanks :,)
People judging you on being part of this sub...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7wcx/people_judging_you_on_being_part_of_this_sub/
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[deleted]
[Other] Killer for salt cravings
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:58:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7w99/killer_for_salt_cravings/
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Miso ginger broth from Trader Joe's + 100 cal bag of popcorn. 130 calories total. I've been eating mostly sugary foods lately and need me some salt. This is perfect.
Anyone else sipping broth?
[Rant/Rave] Got my Period for the First Time in Months
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:39:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7s2a/got_my_period_for_the_first_time_in_months/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just keep swimming :'-)
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 21 19:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7opk/just_keep_swimming/
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It's not possible to gain weight on less than 1000 calories per day
It's not possible to gain weight on less than 1000 calories per day!!!
ITS NOT POSSIBLE THE SCALE IS A DIRTY LIAR AND A DEVIL
/crying
This has been a PSA by me to make myself feel better...
[Rant/Rave] DH did a complete turn around
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 18:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7jeo/dh_did_a_complete_turn_around/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Not picking up the milk I wanted bc calories
/u/sewnp [5'6"/CW:FAT/UGW:99/NB]
Created: Mon Aug 21 18:51:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7hyl/not_picking_up_the_milk_i_wanted_bc_calories/
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I usually go to cashew milk for my calcium and milk desires (I'm a pescatarian) but the store I was at only had the 60 calorie cashew milk. The stuff I get is the unsweetened 35 calorie. I proceeded to, in a crowded store, put back the higher calorie milk for the lower calorie (40) almond milk.
To my surprise a mom and her child saw me struggling the whole time and I ended up getting a mild milk panic attack. Like why would someone my age be so visibly upset about a 20 fucking calorie difference.
EDs are fun right? Not even to mention that I've been binging my brains out bc of my increase of estrogen making me feel like a rabid animal. Hoping to get back on track tomorrow! Next time I'm not going to grab my milk until I'm sure which one I want... to avoid this ever happening again.
tl;dr: I grabbed the wrong milk and a lady saw me get distressed about 20 calories.
[Other] My fitness pal username thread
/u/ireallylikerent [5'1" | GW: 80lbs | Post-Recovery | 16F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 18:46:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v7guz/my_fitness_pal_username_thread/
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I'm @ireallylikerent ♥️
[Rant/Rave] First primary care doctor in years
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 109 | BMI 19.3| GW 103| HW 160]
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v72ql/first_primary_care_doctor_in_years/
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So I have an initial appointment with a new primary care doctor on Wednesday. I haven't had one in years so this is weird for me. The only person who knows about my previous MH diagnoses is my psychiatrist, who is a family friend I still talk to frequently. My family has advised me to withhold previous ED diagnosis/history stating, "what's in the past should stay in the past where it belongs. If you're not having problems with it right now don't say anything." I responded that I agreed, and no I wasn't having issues with it now; which is a lie and they know that on an unconscious level (they've started voicing concern recently, after weeks of silence). Anyway! I'm nervous about this appointment because they might find irregularities in vitals or blood work if ordered, or say something about my weight as it is close to under range currently. Ugh. Just don't want to deal with doctors or any of this
[Rant/Rave] I'm literally crying over popsicles
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 119.8 | 17.7 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:20:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6yaa/im_literally_crying_over_popsicles/
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I've been keeping sugar free popsicles in my freezer and been having one once and a while until my dad started taking them... Then he thinks he'll make it up by buying REGULAR popsicles mixing them with my sugar free ones... I got angry over it and he's just like "Well have you tried them?!?" NO I'm NOT gonna try them.... The regular ones are 25 calories more do you think I'm going to waste that much on a freaking popsicle??? Of course my Dad doesn't understand but I don't get how he doesn't see the difference between them...
[Discussion] Day after binge...
/u/SomethingsGottaHave
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:17:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6xjh/day_after_binge/
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I binged over the weekend because I clearly have no self control and I do this every weekend. But today I feel dizzy and weak like I haven't eaten in days. Just curious if anyone else had felt this way after a few days of binging and then going back to restricting.
I feel a little high but I haven't smoked today.
[Rant/Rave] i need to stop my anxiety about weight gain from controlling my life, but i also don't want to stop?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 17:13:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6wpo/i_need_to_stop_my_anxiety_about_weight_gain_from/
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okay ugh sorry kind of a long rant-y post about weight gain anxiety???
i'm sure that this is a situation involving disordered eating and self-image that a lot of people can relate to. this summer i've gained 2 or 3 pounds from restricting less (i used to restrict to about 700 a day) and sometimes eating what feels like too much to me. this mostly came from some people voicing concerns over me being underweight. however, there have been times this summer that i've felt an intense hunger and urge to eat a lot—like, 7 rice cakes at a time or 3 granola bars—which is something that i've never experienced before and i believe results from heavy restriction. the other night i ate three nature valley knockoff granola bars really quickly and sort of felt like i couldn't stop myself?? like i knew that i could but i wanted to eat so badly but it was a psychological desire more than physical.
but anyways, yeah, i've gained a few pounds consequently.
i feel so gross about gaining weight, you guys. i'm constantly aware of my body image and worried about looking fat in skinny jeans or shorts. i look in the mirror and honestly can't tell if i'm thin, average, or have noticeable body fat in certain areas (i think that i do, my stomach isn't very flat anymore and i barely have a thigh gap). i literally can't eat anything without feeling intense guilt or like i've immediately gained weight. my attempts to restrict heavily usually end with me eating 900-1,400 calories per day. i constantly feel hungry and obsess over calories. i've eaten probably 600 calories today, before dinner, and almost cried about it earlier. i'm starting to realize that i need to talk to someone about this, because weight and food issues are negatively controlling my life, but i'm anxious that a psychologist would make me maintain my current weight or gain weight—i'm a few pounds below the "normal/healthy" weight for my height, but i know that i would feel really gross if i did weigh the normal/healthy amount. i hate feeling heavy and gross and guilty for eating anything. i don't know. i guess i'll go back to heavy restriction and try to lose the weight i've gained. idk how many of you guys are currently dealing with weight gain or just totally losing control of your self-image/disordered eating but like fuck man it really sucks
edit: i'm about to get my period so maybe that's why i'm so hungry and emotional?! just threw away some food and i'm making tea instead, i'll probably eat a little dinner and drink some wine later but i think maybe i'm okay with that
[Help] Abnormally bloated after binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:55:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6sgq/abnormally_bloated_after_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Mixed messages...so happy
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:38:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6okd/mixed_messagesso_happy/
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[removed]
"Why don't you try eating and exercising normally and see if that works?"
/u/flaaffyusedthunder
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6nwy/why_dont_you_try_eating_and_exercising_normally/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What movies or shows do you watch to get your mind off of things?
/u/ggreatgoat
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6jr6/what_movies_or_shows_do_you_watch_to_get_your/
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[Discussion] Strange and unsustainable strategies for preventing binges.
/u/Lelvolution
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:13:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6j0v/strange_and_unsustainable_strategies_for/
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Thought some of you might get a laugh out of this. I was feeling a binge coming on yesterday and the house was particularly well stocked with high calorie snacks, a dangerous combination.
Before I did anything I'd regret for a week, I decided to put myself out of action. I grabbed a large bottle of water (for the drymouth) and proceeded to rapidly smoke so much weed I couldn't walk, so a trip to the kitchen was out of the question. I sat in bed watching something on my laptop (what exactly I don't remember) until I fell asleep.
I awoke several hours later with no cravings, albeit in dire need of a piss. Binge successfully prevented. Though I don't plan to make a habit of it as I don't particularly enjoy being absolutely blitzkrieged.
So, what's the most out there shit you've done to stop yourself from making a mistake?
[Rant/Rave] I'm so stressed out I'm making cookies and I'll eat them all.
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 151 | 28.22 | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6iim/im_so_stressed_out_im_making_cookies_and_ill_eat/
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Then feel guilty forever. I went to "family" therapy with my hubs and step kid and the therapist, swear to god, has it out for me. Instead of trying to help understand the issue (her not doing chores, and her attitude to me) and solve it, she singled me out as the "problem". Apparently expecting a 15 y/o to do her two chores (taking our garbage and washing her own clothes) IS ENTIRELY MY FUCKING PROBLEM, and that she should be able to do whatever. *Then* in the same breath tells me she should have more chores. WTF.
So now I'm going to be eating a shitload of cookies and cow milk (NOT ALMOND I DONT DESERVE IT) to make me feel better. Ugh. I cant wait until Im not on seroquel. I'm going to be in so much stomach pain.
Edit: I ate at least 8, fuuuuck.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling a bit down
/u/paifagoras
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:03:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6gle/feeling_a_bit_down/
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I really want to start fasting properlybut every time I try, it ends in failure. The longest I've managed to go without eating is a mere two days - and then I started to binge immediately afterwards. After I binge, I normally purge (I have merycism so I find it easy to purge) but I don't want to damage my teeth. It's really bringing me down and I don't know what to do. I'm 16 and my BMI is 23, and it really upsets me when I think about how my BMI was a gorgeous 19 just 2 years ago. (I'm not saying that a BMI 23 can't be gorgeous, it's just doesn't look good on me). I feel so fat and disgusting, I want to feel inspired so I look at thinspo, but it just makes me feel worse about myself. A lot of my so called friends call me fat all the time and make comments about what I look like, and it just makes me eat more because I feel so defeated. I'm so desperate to start fasting, but since I'm quite young, my I live with my mum, and she cooks food, if I don't eat it, she might find out that I'm trying to fast and try to stop me. Why does life have to be so difficult...
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Aug 21 16:02:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6gck/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/gr4b4z8my5hz.jpg
[Help] How to be lighter for a weigh-in?
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:56:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6eyu/how_to_be_lighter_for_a_weighin/
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[removed]
[Help] [Help] good ways to estimate personal TDEE?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:49:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v6d4o/help_good_ways_to_estimate_personal_tdee/
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I know there are apps or websites that will give you an average TDEE for someone of your height/weight/body fat, but is there a way to measure on your own to know for sure or account for other factors? I ask because i know things like body temperature and fidgeting add to a person's TDEE but typically aren't counted even though they can add up.
[Help] Wedding weight loss advice for during ana recovery?
/u/stophamnertime
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:34:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v69sf/wedding_weight_loss_advice_for_during_ana_recovery/
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Hi friends -- I've been in recovery for 3 years from a serious bout with anorexia. Since being in recovery, I have avoided all diets and such as to not trigger myself into unhealthy habits. However, now that I'm getting married in January and my recovery has actually led to (legitimately) becoming overweight, I am looking to lose weight the healthy way but am nervous. Wanted to see if anyone has any experience or advice for successfully dieting during recovery?
Thanks so much!
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/That_O_N_E_Guy
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:25:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v67qu/thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/HKh6BrH.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hit my goal weight and I'm still not happy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 15:04:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v62s4/i_hit_my_goal_weight_and_im_still_not_happy/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate recovery..
/u/Basically75
Created: Mon Aug 21 14:04:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5n81/i_hate_recovery/
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So up until a few weeks ago i had been eating an apple a day and exercising everyday for a few months and got down to around 96 pounds, I'm 5'10, but after my close family found out about this and threatened to force me into hospital or recover at home (3 meals a day, no exercise and no privacy to prevent purges) i have gained a few pounds by the looks of it and I honestly hate it. I hate the fact that my ribs are less visible, that my thighs are bigger, and I'm scared my jawline and defined face is next. Recovery was supposed to make me happier, and help me become normal but a few nights this week i ended up eating like 2 or 3 bowls of cereal at night and then purging it (even after throwing away my previous meals) other nights i just completely threw away my food when i had the chance. I'm scared that I've moved from restricting to binging behaviours. Basically recovery hasn't helped me, it's only made me worse, miserable and soon to be fat and i hate it, i need to go back.
[Rant/Rave] There is no middle ground?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | 132.8 | -23 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Mon Aug 21 14:02:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5ms7/there_is_no_middle_ground/
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Jesus I was doing so well with restriction and then I kind of lost it. And then I was slightly losing it and getting back on track and losing it again. And I'm getting fed up with struggling so much to eat and keep from eating too much? But at the same time if I give up I'll get fat because I don't think I have normal hunger cues? Like if I just eat when I'm hungry I'd probably just fuck up.
I want to be normal and eat normally but I want to be skinny and somehow those two don't coincide in my life? /rant
[Discussion] Weird ED master plans
/u/merewautt
Created: Mon Aug 21 14:02:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5mo4/weird_ed_master_plans/
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I just moved into a new place with a new roommate and I'm sooooooo excited. First of all it's a guy and we're not very close so I'll def be too embarrassed to binge or even eat much at all for a while until we get to know each other better (I have issues eating in front of strangers).
Also, I have this weird idea that I'm going to go as long as I can without actually eating inside my house. I'll pack a meal and only eat it on campus so I don't associate my new place with eating or binging and hopefully pavlov myself into only associating eating with being outside the house. I've literally never binged in public or even during daylight hours so hopefully only eating outside the home will help me restrict more consistently... lol I might be losing it but I'm excited.
Do y'all make weird master plans/ideas around your eating like this? lol Please tell me I'm not alone
[Help] advice for surviving forced recovery? I've been made to eat meals to the point where I thought my hunger cues were coming back - turns out I'm experiencing extreme hunger and because of it the other night i ate like three bowls of cereal ughhh - I can't wait until i can restrict again and be skinny
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 13:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v5hej/advice_for_surviving_forced_recovery_ive_been/
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[deleted]
[Other] Trying not to binge, so adapted a recipe to make an individual sugar cookie. Otherwise I would have definitely eaten an entire batch.
/u/alpacarla
Created: Mon Aug 21 13:04:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v56ji/trying_not_to_binge_so_adapted_a_recipe_to_make/
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http://imgur.com/a/AHxvT
Holiday struggles
/u/Pugslyaddams [5'7"|122lbs- GW 110lbs | 19.04 (new), 19.11 (old) | -30| 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 13:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v55yp/holiday_struggles/
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[removed]
[Tip] Seaweed for salt cravings! Giant bag and I can barely make a dent.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57 | 19.05/18.82 | GW:<57 by 1/9 | UGW:<55 by 1/9 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 12:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v4vvc/seaweed_for_salt_cravings_giant_bag_and_i_can/
---
http://imgur.com/a/EXsmp
[Discussion] Significant Others with EDs?
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Mon Aug 21 11:09:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v4ce8/significant_others_with_eds/
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Does anyone have a significant other with an ED or a fair degree of disordered eating? I'm curious as to how common of an occurrence this is.
[Rant/Rave] I lose and gain the same 4 lbs every single week
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -48 | 27F | UGW: 135]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:51:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3tas/i_lose_and_gain_the_same_4_lbs_every_single_week/
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because on the weekends I morph in to an alcoholic binge-eating monster who doesn't get up off the couch and is generally too lazy to purge. I've woken up every Friday for the past month at 169, and woken up every Monday at 173. spend the week restricting/ b/p, lose 4 lbs, spend the weekend on the couch stuffing my face, gain 4 lbs, rinse and repeat.
I told my fiancee that we're going sober because not only am I fucking sick of seeing the same numbers on the scale, but we're just disgustingly unproductive. like my bridal shower was 2 weeks ago and I have 4 thank-you letters written. I haven't weeded my garden in over a month. I've literally been too drunk and full and lazy to even go outside and put together a bouquet from the wildflower patch we grew. seriously, that's some next-level laziness.
we own our own house and it's so amazing, but it's a fucking mess. we still haven't unpacked all of our boxes (we moved last October), our lawn is getting too long, half of the rooms are only half-painted. I made the en suite half-bath my personal project and worked on it for a weekend then gave it up. this weekend, I'm not over-eating and I'm not drinking, and I'm going to finish the bathroom and clean the shit out of it so that when I'm wallowing in self-hate after a purge I at least don't have to be blatantly reminded of the fact that I can't follow through on anything I do.
I'm also going to be below 169 by Friday, and I never want to see 170 on the scale again. ugh.
Appetite suppressants that are safe and don't have a long list of scary side effects?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:30:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3o31/appetite_suppressants_that_are_safe_and_dont_have/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] One of my old best friends just got married.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:27:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3nfp/one_of_my_old_best_friends_just_got_married/
---
All I see on Facebook are pictures of like 20 of my closest friends from college all having a wonderful time at her wedding, and I didn't even know she was getting married to begin with. I didn't know she was even dating anyone. All these people stopped talking to me entirely, but they all stayed friends with each other, and now have these wonderful lives. And then there's me, with no friends, spending my entire life obsessing over my weight. It hurts, man.
[Rant/Rave] Mixed messages that felt GREAT
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:25:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3mvc/mixed_messages_that_felt_great/
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[removed]
[Tip] Another almond milk recipe
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3m1z/another_almond_milk_recipe/
---
Throw about five or more ice cubes, half a banana, and a cup of almond milk in a blender. (I also like to add a tablespoon of ground flaxseed or vanilla extract. Nutmeg or cinnamon would be good too!) Blend it up until it's smooth and now you've got an icy drink reminiscent of a Wendy's frosty.
[Help] Weird shaped stomach?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:16:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3kpc/weird_shaped_stomach/
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[deleted]
Weird shaped stomach
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:05:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3i5q/weird_shaped_stomach/
---
[deleted]
[Help] I'm using Libra to track weight, but the trend is always higher than my measured weight. Is this accurate?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 09:03:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3hov/im_using_libra_to_track_weight_but_the_trend_is/
---
https://imgur.com/TGgNzEG
[Help] Period Question
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 08:51:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3enk/period_question/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So happy to be done with summer
/u/eekcoffee [5'7'' | 119lbs | 18.57 | -37 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 08:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3dtp/so_happy_to_be_done_with_summer/
---
My life this summer was a total mess. I was working a crazy high stress job and ended up stress eating like crazy. Before the summer I had finally reached underweight and now I'm all the way up to 130 lbs. All the stress and junk food also caused me to break out like crazy so now I look like freaking Freddy Krueger on top of feeling like a giant fatass. Thank fucking God I'm back at school in my own apartment with a week before classes start. I can just be a hermit and not eat and lose some of that weight. Ugh I'm so mad I let myself get to this point... Feels good to rant about though haha
[Help] Does anyone here follow a ketogenic diet?
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 110.6 | 25F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 08:37:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v3bm5/does_anyone_here_follow_a_ketogenic_diet/
---
Main question: what are your safe, or low calorie, foods/meals?
My boyfriend recently started researching the benefits of keto, and he's interested in trying it out. I'd love to be supportive and I think that reducing carbs would be good for me. *However,* I'm REALLY struggling with all of the high/full fat foods. Also, cheese and lunch meat have been fear foods of mine for years. Ugh, I'm just panicking because cHaNgE.
Suggestions or support from any keto followers would be amazing. Thanks!!
EDIT: a word
[Thinspo] Male Thinspiration 8.21
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 07:07:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2s36/male_thinspiration_821/
---
http://imgur.com/a/tJNvq
[Discussion] August 21st, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:52:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2p3p/august_21st_2017_question_of_the_day/
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In 140 characters or fewer, summarize your day.
[Thinspo] Current Thinspo Fav & Ultimate Goals 😍
/u/fat-piece-of-shit
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:20:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2jbs/current_thinspo_fav_ultimate_goals/
---
https://i.redd.it/aaoykztr23hz.jpg
[Other] Excel project
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:19:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2j4h/excel_project/
---
[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:14:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2ias/weekly_stats_update_august_21_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 21, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:14:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2i9c/daily_food_diary_august_21_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 21, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.21
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v2hnv/thinspiration_821/
---
http://imgur.com/a/nr7DH
[Other] The skeletons from Game of Thrones are goals.lol
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 05:18:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v29a0/the_skeletons_from_game_of_thrones_are_goalslol/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Another compliment! I'm getting so many compliments! Aaaahhh!
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 21 05:02:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v26pc/another_compliment_im_getting_so_many_compliments/
---
I was waiting for my tram when a friend whom I hadn't seen in a while was cycling across the road. He screamed my name and cycled towards me, we talked for a bit and he said he almost didn't recognize me because I've lost so much weight.
I'm a happy bitch
[Rant/Rave] First class airline feast on thursday...
/u/carlisam9797 [5'2" 18F | CW 114.5 | SW 130 | GW 105 | UGW 99 ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 04:14:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1zsh/first_class_airline_feast_on_thursday/
---
I'm flying back to nyc for school in three days (but first getting a major hair makeover in the morning with extensions and everything, so excited :P). I'm extremely happy because I've lost 15+lbs this summer (will prob be down to 113 by the time I'm back, I've been dancing around 114.5 for the amount of time it usually takes before I suddenly drop another pound or two already) and I've gotten a bunch of new clothes because my pants were sliding off me.
I digress..I'm flying on American and like most airlines in first class they feed you like a 6 course meal of champagne (yum but calorie-laden), nuts (barf), salad (will eat), some kind of meat, about three different carbs, an ice cream sundae, a cookie, and a snack before you leave.
I feel bad just picking at the lettuce and saying I'm full because my dad is coming with me and I know he spent a lot of money (it's a cross country flight) on it as a treat for me. At the same time I can't find any calorie info and I don't want to get bloated and fat just as I'm going back to school after an entire summer of restricting. Not to mention that it's the city, so most people are extremely thin and stylish, so looking fat is like whatever the opposite of a status symbol is. Idk :/ sorry ik this probably sounds bitchy and dumb but I just keep having this anxiety of eating this big meal and gaining two pounds (which is what I usually gain whenever I go to a restraunt...which is why I virtually never go to restaurants) and looking the same (fat) when I get back as when I left for summer.
What are the least calorie snacks I could eat?
/u/boringanddumb
Created: Mon Aug 21 03:35:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1uis/what_are_the_least_calorie_snacks_i_could_eat/
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[removed]
[Discussion] When do you 'acknowledge' weight loss?
/u/little-paws
Created: Mon Aug 21 02:48:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1ojz/when_do_you_acknowledge_weight_loss/
---
I have a weight loss log for me to cross out each pound when I lose it. I've been on a really good restricting cycle recently so I've lost 4 pounds, but I just don't feel like I can cross the weight off. It feels temporary, like I'll just put it all back on again tomorrow or something.
When do you accept that your weight loss has actually happened and it's not just a temporary fluctuation?
[Rant/Rave] My indifference scares me..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 21 01:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1bdd/my_indifference_scares_me/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave or whatever.
Not going to both with a lot seeing as no one cares about me anyway. I keep fucking up and this week was bad I binged 5 days out of the last 7. I spent a lot of money on binge food and I'm just not going to buy anymore food until next pay check. ( two weeks) also not weight for a week.
I hate myself but also don't really care I'm not think like I want to be and my co-workers are swooning over a new guy. No one would notice If I was gone. Also I hate being too fat to be androgynous and cute I'm just weird and ugly.
Someone just put me out of my misery. I feel like I'm one bad day away from ending my life. Life means nothing to me.
Willow
[Help] How should i react when my gf tells me how she lost more weight?
/u/_ConfusedandScared_
Created: Mon Aug 21 01:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1b6r/how_should_i_react_when_my_gf_tells_me_how_she/
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My gf lost some weight recently and shes really excited that she did but idk how I should react to it. I personally think she looks really good now but she hates her body so shes losing weight. So im not sure how to react when she loses weight and shes happy about it, im happy that shes happy but im not sure how i feel about her losing weight because of how she does it. She wants to lose weight because she thinks it will make me more attracted to her and because her family always told her she was fat. I've told her lots that it wont make me more attracted to her and i think she believes me. She either restricts or fasts to try and lose weight, ive tried to help her before but theres not much i can do since we are in an ldr, she doesnt fast as much or for as long as she used to anymore tho. We just came back from meeting for the first time last month, and she ate a lot more than she normally did because she felt fine about herself and her body. A few weeks after I went back home she started have problems with her body again and because she gained weight she felt bad about herself. Now shes lost some weight and is excited about it. Shes told me before that now she thinks if she loses more and more weight that she doesnt think ill be attracted to her anymore, I dont think thats true, but idk. and shes cares a lot about her weight now, and talks about it a lot. im ok with it because its a part of her life and i want to know about it, it also helps me better understand how she feels. But now shes feels bad because she said she thinks shes become obsessive with it and she said she wont talk to me about it as much. I dont want that either because then I dont know how shes feeling or if shes being healthy while losing weight how she wants to. i just dont know what to do and am overwhelmed.
sorry for the confusing wall of text
[Rant/Rave] High school :(
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 119.5 | 19.61 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 21 00:36:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1767/high_school/
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So i'm going into high school, quite scared. I'm going from a middle school that was smaller than my elementary school to a high school where I cant even find the eating area by myself. Like??? WHERE DO I SIT??? And who's gonna sit with me???? I start in 1 WEEK! I'm so stressed out. And I only lost 6 pounds! Am I just gonna be stuck with this feeling of disappointment forever because I have NO self control over anything I eat???? Gr8 going me, you done did it again.
[Rant/Rave] ""Recovery"" aka binging everyday [rant]
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 21 00:14:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v147w/recovery_aka_binging_everyday_rant/
---
My doctor told me to stay away from running. Apparently vigorous cardio can be fatal at such a low weight. I suppose I could just, like, not listen to her but I'm scared and would like to get rid of my ED. And I fucking love running and I want to be able to run safely for the rest of my life.
Nothing comforts me like running. I used to run away from my problems but now I've forced myself to face reality. And when I can't run, I binge. I've binged hard everyday since Thursday. I hate myself and my bloated body.
And the worst thing is my family seems so proud of my ""recovery progress"". Like all they care about is whether I'm underweight or not. I guess devouring a whole blueberry pie and then a frozen pizza in a matter of ten minutes is healthy non-ED behavior and a sign of recovery :))))
Why can't I eat like a normal fucking person?
[Discussion] Donating blood on an empty stomach.
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 23:48:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v1099/donating_blood_on_an_empty_stomach/
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Hello all,
This Friday I’m donating blood for the first time.
The only problem is that I’m also planning to fast all week. The appointment has been set up for a while now and I really don’t want to cancel it but I also don’t want to break my fast by eating a calorie laden meal.
Does anybody have any experience with donating on an empty stomach? My workmate mentioned to me that one time she hadn’t had much to eat beforehand and passed out after donating.
Opinions? Thoughts? Break the fast or reschedule? I was also thinking about eating an apple beforehand just to raise my blood sugar level enough that I’d be able to donate.
[Rant/Rave] Yikes.
/u/kindawkwardtree
Created: Sun Aug 20 23:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0w15/yikes/
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[removed]
[Other] Lost my appetite for food at work...
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 23:11:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0uu3/lost_my_appetite_for_food_at_work/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Worked at a food stand at a fair this week.
/u/Rustlingjimmies87
Created: Sun Aug 20 22:39:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0ptn/worked_at_a_food_stand_at_a_fair_this_week/
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Just finished up working at a concessions trailer at a county fair for the week.
HALLELUJAH I MANAGED TO LOSE. Surrounded by a whole world of deep fried sugar, I'm down a few lbs. plus this is the end of the day so in the morning it should be lower.
I'm so happy I could cry. :')
When you binge for three months
/u/erkadurka [5'4" | 96.6lbs | 16.91 | 39.2lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 20 22:17:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0m8e/when_you_binge_for_three_months/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone take modafinil? Or any other meds?
/u/bashytr0n
Created: Sun Aug 20 22:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0k4k/does_anyone_take_modafinil_or_any_other_meds/
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Just curious to know if anyone takes modafinil whether it be for productivity or to help with appetite. Also interested in other meds people may be on?
[Other] Is anyone else excited to be going back to school because it means back to the routine of not eating?
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:58:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0iuv/is_anyone_else_excited_to_be_going_back_to_school/
---
I'll be honest, I'm dreading the actual school that's coming up this year. It's going to be such a hard semester. But I'm so glad to be back to living at my own apartment and only eating when I want and going to the gym and running on the nice air-conditioned indoor track every single day. And as much as I don't enjoy the stress, I know I thrive under it. I feel like I want to jump off the parking deck but I do my best living when I have 3 projects and two papers due in 2 days - no time to sit at home bored, so focused that I don't even realize I'm hungry, caffeine suppressing my appetite, and feeling so accomplished when it all comes together and I get everything done on time and just about perfect.
[Other] I told someone about my ED today
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0da4/i_told_someone_about_my_ed_today/
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On mobile forgot to flair!
I load the first person ever about my ED. It's my sisters best friend and we were eating dinner (just us) and I said " Can I tell you something?" She said "what"
Me: " nevermind
Her: I literally blah blah blah (a personal thing about her that's semi embarrassing) you can tell me anything
Me: I think I have an eating disorder
Then she was like honestly I'm not surprised all the comments you make I kinda suspected it a little. I asked her not to tell my mom or sister and she said she wouldn't as long as it wasn't getting to serious
(I think she kind of underestimates it) . We talked a bit more about it and I have now idea why I told her but I did and now I can say someone knows. Sorry this was random but thanks for listening (or reading?)
[Rant/Rave] It's crazy how much that number can change your view of yourself.
/u/KittyWingsx
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:21:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v0c7r/its_crazy_how_much_that_number_can_change_your/
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Long time lurker first time poster. Hello everyone!!
The other day I was getting ready to go out with friends and I was trying on different clothes because nothing ever looks right. I hadn't weighed myself in a while because it stresses me out so much; even though it drives me just as crazy not knowing. I was just in the middle of thinking how big I looked in a shirt when I decided I needed to weigh myself. I weighed in at 122 which is way less than I thought! My lowest was 115 and I'm trying like hell to get back down there. The craziest part was once I walked back to my mirror, I didn't think I looked so big in my shirt anymore.
It's just insane how much of this is so much pressure and expectation I put on myself. And just seeing that the number was smaller than I thought it was going to be made me feel and think I looked physically smaller as well.
Sorry for the random post but I just wondered if anyone else had experienced something like this. It was a very eye opening one for me personally.
Fave diet/ zero cal drinks?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Sun Aug 20 21:03:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v08kv/fave_diet_zero_cal_drinks/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] The power flows through me 😬
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:48:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v05om/the_power_flows_through_me/
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It happened. I. Did. Not. Binge.
It was weird. I was so close and then my brain short circuited for some reason and I lowkey dissociated from this earthly realm and put the cereal, milk and bowl away. It was the weirdest feeling the the world...
I actually resisted a binge. What? Who am I a normal person with real self control?
This post is just me being happy about not being a nasty food monster thanks for reading, good night
[Help] FUCKING. CARBS.
/u/silverblackbriscoe
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v02vc/fucking_carbs/
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Are ruining my life. It's all I crave. Chips, toast, noodles, rice, I shove it all in my fat fucking face.
How do you kick a carb addiction? 😭😭😭😭😭😭
[Rant/Rave] I ALWAYS have to eat the whole thing
/u/nightmaerceci
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:24:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v00yz/i_always_have_to_eat_the_whole_thing/
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Since I started maintaining, I’ve realized I pretty much can’t eat normal portion sizes at all anymore. I've reached a point where whatever it is I'm eating, I *have* to eat it all. You know how like with pints of ice cream, you always multiply the calories per serving times 4, because lol who actually only has half a cup? I do that with everything now. I eat instant mashed potatoes by the packet, all 4 servings in a huge bowl. I eat entire 2lb. containers of yogurt in one sitting. There’s just something...relaxing about opening a huge bag, or container of something, and knowing you can eat the whole thing, with no need to measure or weigh anything out, no need to stop eating until it’s gone. You don't have to worry about having leftovers tempt you later, and it can sometimes almost feel as satisfying as binging. The weird thing is, in a way, all my meals kinda feel like binges, even if I'm technically still keeping under my calorie goal for the day.
I’m just not satisfied with anything unless I can have a massive portion size of it. At the store I'm constantly calculating the total calories for nothing less than the entire container of everything I see, like bags of popcorn, cans of frosting, and tubs of ice cream. "Hm...if I fast all day, I’d get to eat this entire thing for dinner later." I’ll think to myself. By basically telling myself I get to "binge" later, it gives me motivation to fast until then. I've taken to calling it "restricted binging." It’s disordered as all hell and probably the complete opposite of how you’re supposed to do maintenance, but I honestly feel like I can’t do it any other way. Oh well.
[Thinspo] Wedding thinspo
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 112.6 | - 8.6 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:20:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6v006k/wedding_thinspo/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My grandma is currently making steak
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 116.6 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:17:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzzn7/my_grandma_is_currently_making_steak/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Hangry on binge day 😡
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 124.6 | BMI: 25.63 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 20:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzynu/hangry_on_binge_day/
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Sunday is a free for all, eat all the unsafe things, binge day for me. I have been doing this for a couple months now, and I desperately look forward to it. After restricting below 500 kcal the preceding 6 days, I fast all day until dinner and then eat whatever TF I want. Doing it this way makes the volume my stomach can hold relatively small, and my binge meal actually equates to a maintenance day. I feel satisfied afterwards, and I’m ok with fasting or heavily restricting again by Monday.
Well, last night my debit card got stolen, I had to cancel it and order a new one, and since it’s the weekend, I can’t hit up a bank for a temporary card or cash withdrawal. Soooo I have been relying on the very minuscule businesses that accept PayPal mobile payments for my diet sodas and cigarettes all day. I really wanted some General Tso’s Chicken, fried rice, and a pork egg roll for my binge meal tonight. I have been fantasizing about it, actually.... but the only local PayPal accepting food service around me is Yelp Eat24, and no Chinese places nearby participate.
I was going to binge anyways, but I didn’t want it to be on the sad assortment of deli meat and lean cuisine meals I have in my fridge, so I used PayPal to order a Papa John’s e-gift card from Walmart.com, then used that to order pizza. I have never eaten pizza so grudgingly in my life.
At least I ordered the big ass cookie too. Chocolate chip cookies cannot be eaten grudgingly.
Here’s to Monday (my day long fast day... and totality day!) next week’s binge day (and my CW of 124.6!). May there be a gratuitous amount of Chinese goodness in my future.
[Discussion] Anyone else get stretch marks while losing weight?
/u/KellyRKapoor
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:55:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzvmm/anyone_else_get_stretch_marks_while_losing_weight/
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I blew up over the past year, put on a couple dozen pounds and decided to take control again (and relapse lmaooo) a few months ago. When I started losing weight, stretch marks started showing up! On my inner thighs, butt, and boobs. Isn't this the opposite of how it's supposed to happen? When I was a fatty my skin was perfect, and I decided to lose weight to feel better about my body, yet here I am, hating my body for yet another reason :)
everyone tells me to just "eat normal" but that's both terrifying and harmful to me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:50:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzuog/everyone_tells_me_to_just_eat_normal_but_thats/
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[deleted]
New to Reddit but how do you put your stats next to your tag??????
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:47:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzu43/new_to_reddit_but_how_do_you_put_your_stats_next/
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[deleted]
[Other] I can't help but think...
/u/katwowzaz
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uztsz/i_cant_help_but_think/
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[removed]
[Intro] Back again
/u/taiteisnotcool
Created: Sun Aug 20 19:16:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzokm/back_again/
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Hi! This isn't my first post in this sub (technically is since I deleted my old ones) but I left the sub a few months ago after going into recovery. Butttt thankfully Ive lost back down to my pre inpatient weight and I'm back full force guys
Had my daughters 1st birthday...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:59:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzlk7/had_my_daughters_1st_birthday/
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[removed]
[Intro] Joining the party...
/u/DietCokeDeathmatch [5'7"| GW: < 150 | BMI: 35.9 | -1 lb | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:42:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzi9s/joining_the_party/
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I just found this sub yesterday and i'm not really sure how to do this but wanted to say hi. I really can't talk or joke about ED things with anyone I know without getting sideways looks or a lecture. I've been hiding dysmorphia issues from almost everyone for the last 20 years and used to B/P regularly when I was younger. Due to magical mental health issues, now I'm just trying to deal with BED. I can't even look at myself without crying most days. Fortunately I've started Vyvanse which is great with the binging except that I've been using them up too quickly... I have support as I'm "recovering" from BED but they don't know that I'm just going to swing to the other extreme.
[Rant/Rave] "You're not really doing anything about it"
/u/geekgirlalicia
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:39:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzhpy/youre_not_really_doing_anything_about_it/
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Before I unpack this, I feel like I should say that 99.999% of the time my boyfriend is incredible. He's just never dealt with mental illness before me, so he struggles with handling it from time to time. OK, moving along...
I've been having a really hard time with my anxiety/depression/ED all compounding and it's (obviously) wreaking havoc on my body confidence and draining my sex drive. So he sat down with me today to talk about it and encourage me to be "healthy" so I'm happier with myself, and then he pulls out this gem: "So I know you're not happy with your body, but honestly, you're not really doing anything about it. You aren't exercising at all, you're just starving yourself, and then you eat a lot."
Ok. Cool. So I'm just bad at having an eating disorder and I should try harder. COOL.
Anyway, now I'm just more motivated to stick to my goals and lower my weekly restriction numbers and start working out to really drive it all home.
[Discussion] Anybody else just sleep to avoid eating
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzgte/anybody_else_just_sleep_to_avoid_eating/
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I'm depressed, I've been struggling with it most of my life and it's pretty bad right now. Being hungry all the time doesn't help it but I don't care, it makes me feel powerful when I don't eat and I hate my body anyway.
Anyone else take naps for hours just to avoid the world and hunger? Like, I'm having my 100 cal popcorn dinner at 8 and then taking my meds to knock myself out. It's 5:30 now so I'm just hoping to sleep 2.5 hours so I can enjoy my lil baggy of popcorn and then knock out...
Edit: can't flair on mobile???
[Discussion] Food cravings?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 18:19:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uzdzk/food_cravings/
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How do you guys deal with them? For me it's not being hungry that gets me but it's thinking of something I would want to eat and then not being about to focus on anything else or *not* think about that food until I get it. The only thing I've found that works so far is study drugs and I don't want to start using them obsessively, you know? Curious if anyone else experiences food cravings and how you handle them.
[Rant/Rave] Back on the motherfucking wagon at a disgusting 115.
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | CW:115.0 | -4 lbs UGW: 90 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:42:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz6mx/back_on_the_motherfucking_wagon_at_a_disgusting/
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Because fuck recovery. I actually need my weekly talk therapy to get my head around non-weight-related issues, but they keep weighing me and insisting I gain weight and I'm afraid if I don't do what they tell me to do, they'll kick me out of therapy and it will be almost impossible to find a new therapist. But fuck all of that. They want me at 1 pound over my starting weight: 120. They don't understand how goddamn disgusting I was at 119. I've *wasted* all those months of effort and time. And hair. I lost a lotta hair. But where am I now? Fat again. I have *nothing* to show for all of my suffering. Fuck that and fuck them.
I've got to figure out how to be able to donate plasma and suffer through weigh-ins at 100 and lower. I'll have to trick their scales somehow, which is going to be easier at the plasma place than at the shrink's. Coin-like weights I can put in my shoes, maybe. But 20+ pounds of them?
[Rant/Rave] My body type is lumpy
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:42:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz6hq/my_body_type_is_lumpy/
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Like, I've always felt like I have nice arms. They tend to stay pretty slim. My legs are proportional and only have a little cottage cheese at the top. My hips are wide enough my legs don't look completely gigantic. And then my boobs are just large and saggy. And my stomach is round and lumpy and just gross. I look in the mirror and all I see are lumps. I'm not even like curvy. I'm just like oatmeal in a bag. I'd be able to accept my body so much better if my stomach and boobs weren't so squish. I have a friend who is shorter than me and a little more stocky I guess is the best word. And she has a round tummy that is cute and smooth. Why can't my stomach just be round but like nice or plump? I don't know. I'm just so frustrated with where I carry my weight and how gross and yellow and giggly it is.
[Other] OMG. New scale automatically added 20 lbs
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz42f/omg_new_scale_automatically_added_20_lbs/
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HOLY SHIT I FREAKED OUT FOR A SECOND THERE. I just moved to a new place and I need.a.scale. so I bought a cheap ass one from Walmart for like 8 bucks.
holy shit I had a heart attack thinking how bloated and fat must I be to weight 20 more lbs in a few weeks?!!?
-phew-
happy cus im sick lol
/u/jian-ao [5"4 | 110 | 18.88 | -25 | f]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:24:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz35f/happy_cus_im_sick_lol/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can't purge.. so anxious.
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | CW: 204.6 lbs | -70.4lbs | GW: 115 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 17:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uz1hg/cant_purge_so_anxious/
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Had a plan to fast all day til dinner, then purge my dinner. It's what I usually do.
So.. made some pasta for the kids. Ate a bunch. Was on my way to purge when we realized our water was off. The county messed up somehow and the water is off to our entire neighborhood.
And now I can't do my post-dinner bathroom trip. It is making me so anxious!
Sorry mobile, No flair.
[Discussion] DAE kind of "dry" fast?
/u/gunna_be
Created: Sun Aug 20 16:53:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyx7s/dae_kind_of_dry_fast/
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I don't drink nothing. I just only drink when I'm thirsty or hungry. Typically 1-2 cups of black coffee, maybe 32-64oz of water and very occasionally some diet soda or broth if I'm really needing it. For me it's easier to fast this way. If I'm forcing myself to chug water all day I get a headache & sick feeling. I'm not a very thirsty person. My intake is similar on a feeding day.
On mobile please flair discussion I guess
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 16:03:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uynbz/i_hate_myself/
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[removed]
I hate myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 16:03:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyn6w/i_hate_myself/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] When you have sharp chest pains...
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 160.6 | -9.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:53:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyl1l/when_you_have_sharp_chest_pains/
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Under your left breast that makes it painful to breathe for a few minutes and you know it could be from ED causes (poor diet causing too much gas, acid refluxing from binges, from restricting too much), anxiety, alcohol or caffene and you won't go to the doctors because you feel like it's not that big a deal and if it is then you deserve it because you brought it on yourself by being fucked up.
[Rant/Rave] I'm not fat it's literally just my spine pushing my organs forward. :'))))))
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:43:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyj06/im_not_fat_its_literally_just_my_spine_pushing_my/
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https://i.redd.it/exswv3t9qygz.png
[Discussion] Naltrexone for bulimia/binge eating?
/u/tofuchampion [5'3" | 155 | 28.2 | -21 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:39:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyidh/naltrexone_for_bulimiabinge_eating/
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Has anyone here taken naltrexone for binge eating or bulimia? I've been bulimic for about 17 years, and was only able to consistently keep it under control when I was taking Topamax, which killed my appetite. Sadly, that stopped working after a few years, and I've been off it since 2013ish. I've been taking Wellbutrin since then, and it helps a little, but not much.
I've heard very good things about Contrave, which is a new drug for obesity that is a combination of buproprion (Wellbutrin) and naltrexone. I did some googling, and apparently naltrexone has been prescribed for ED's for quite some time. Since I'm already taking Wellbutrin, I was thinking about asking my doc about adding naltrexone when I have my annual exam next month.
I'm overweight right now, but not obese (bmi 28ish). I'm not trying to get underweight, just back to a healthy bmi (21ish would be great - about 120 lbs at 5'3"), and I really want to stop fucking binging. Right now I'm binging 4-5 times a week. Sometimes I purge, sometimes not.
I don't have a psychiatrist at the moment and don't really want to find one. I've been out of therapy for about 3 years and don't want to go back to that, either. I've done all that, I have the knowledge, but it's not enough to kill these damn binge urges (fwiw, this was an issue long before I had an actual ED).
So. If you've taken naltrexone, either by itself or in the form of Contrave, tell me about it! I want to hear your experiences. I'm pretty sure my Dr will give it to me, I just want to know what to expect.
[Intro] Now that this is happening how do I stay healthy?
/u/sugarfreeicetea
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:23:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyewq/now_that_this_is_happening_how_do_i_stay_healthy/
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I've had some unhealthy eating habits for the past few years, but nothing ever this bad. Back in november-december I lost about 10 pounds due to a very bad depressive episode, which a lot considering I spent all day in bed, everyday day. In january I managed to snap out of it and start to eat semi normally again, but due to my regularly scheduled depression I don't have a normal appetite so I only ate about 2 meals a day.
I’ve been really stressed and busy the past 2 weeks and started restricting my food without noticing it. Now that I’ve noticed it I'm restricting even more because I've found I really like it.
Part of me knows this is probably really bad and gross but it makes me feel more on top of my life, plus I like the results already. But the part of me that knows this is bad is very concerned with my health, if I'm going to keep restricting how can I assure I’ll stay healthy while restricting and while maintaining when I get to my gw? If this is gonna be a thing for me I at least want to be smart about it and do it as safely as possible.
My goals are pretty realistic since I like my pear shape (thanks mom) and bonespo isn't my thing. My goal bmi is about 20-23, I’m hoping to keep my muscle and most of my curves. I just turned 18, so I really don't want to fuck up my body since I know I still have another 1-5 inches to grow. I also still want to be gaining muscle.
I'm already planning to keep within 300-1000 calories a day since I have a very active job. So far the things i'm doing to stay healthy are making sure I get enough protein and healthy fat, take multi vitamins, drink tons of water, and sleep a lot. Protein will probably be my biggest focus since I'm already vegan and have to make sure I get it in when I'm eating 2000 calories a day.
I'm new to reddit and this sub, so sorry if anything about this post is wrong(/all over the place). My questions summed up are:
-What can I do to stay as healthy as possible and not stunt my growth?
-Once I’m at my gw I'd probably return to eating 1500-2000 calories. Will that be maintainable or will I gain weight back?
Edit for formatting+wording
[Rant/Rave] Does it count as binging if I'm eating a jar of peanut butter slowly with a tiny spoon 😅
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:14:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyczt/does_it_count_as_binging_if_im_eating_a_jar_of/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] There's no scale in my house
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Sun Aug 20 15:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uyc8q/theres_no_scale_in_my_house/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How often do you weigh yourself?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:27:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uy2ou/how_often_do_you_weigh_yourself/
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After recovery all the scales in the house went out the window, except one which for most of the time i can never find where its hidden and only can get weighed once a week by my mum present (i'm a minor) and I used to be fine with that.
Now I have found the hiding place and have been weighing myself nearly every day but I only have access to it in the evening which obviously doesn't help.
I want to stop as it affects my mood but I can't seem too. How often do you weigh yourself?
[Intro] Hi, I'm sneakykeykey, thought I would introduce myself.
/u/sneakykeykey [5'4" | SW:150 | CW: 125 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uy0zn/hi_im_sneakykeykey_thought_i_would_introduce/
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Hi all, this is my first time posting, I've been lurking for a while and this seems like a really supportive and nice community for this awful disorder I have. I've been struggling with my relationship with food for as long as I can remember. I have gone through periods of being overweight, normal, and underweight throughout my life, but never really feel comfortable wherever I am. At my lowest weight, I was 105, I was running 7 miles 5 days a week and I feel like that was the only point where I was happy about my body.
Hoping I can get to place where I am happy when I look in the mirror, but who knows if that will ever happen. After a year of eating with my emotions and depression, I've gained a lot and while I am emotionally happier and not as depressed anymore in general. My eating has gotten more controlled again and anxiety has set in again. It is always an up and down cycle with my depression/anxiety and eating habits. I aim for perfection, and when I am doing well that almost seems attainable. When I decide I'm ready to care about myself again, I tend to care too much. Being this way makes me feel like I have got it all together, instead of not caring about anything. I tend to do mostly fasting/restricting and obsessively calorie count and check my fitbit stats. I just want to reach my goals and feel happy about my body before I am going to start eating intuitively again.
Anyways that's me, sorry if my post seems all over the place. I think I have all my info in my flair. I like listening to everyone's posts as it kind of puts things into reality for me. I am hoping I can vent sometimes about stuff, because no one in my life likes to or wants to listen about my issues on this topic. So thanks in advance.
[Rant/Rave] Relapsing like never before.
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 157 | 26.4 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:16:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uy0es/relapsing_like_never_before/
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I've been overeating. Not exactly bingeing, just consuming way over my tdee consistently all day. Especially at night with alcohol.
Today my habits were picked at and I told another person I'd make a change. So I went to the grocery store to buy supplies for meal prep. But...
In the same strip mall is a FroYo place. So I ate a fuck-ton of froyo, purged in the grocery store, bought meal prep stuff and diet pills.
Then was stressed and had a shot as soon as I got home.
FML.
[Discussion] Laxative tea, smooth move/pinalim
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|29yrs]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxyvp/laxative_tea_smooth_movepinalim/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Exams are hard - even harder when you have an ED
/u/es_0 [167 cm | GW: 47 kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 14:07:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxyg3/exams_are_hard_even_harder_when_you_have_an_ed/
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It's exam season in my university right now.
I know, everybody around me is struggling and under a lot of pressure, but boy... having an ED feels like dealing with a whole other level of difficulty. It makes me want to scream, it's just so fucking unfair.
I constantly have to pull myself together. Ignoring hunger pangs or stomach aches. Dragging myself out of bed after a night of stress-bingeing and purging. Trying to concentrate while all I can think about is how fucking hungry/full/gross/fat/disgusting/bloated/ugly/stupid I am. Trying to make the right decisions instead of giving in on self-destructive behavior.
It's a "high-level" university, people deal with all kinds of stress and pressure around here, I'm sure there are plenty of people who also struggle with a mental illness... but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely (!!!) jealous of people that seem to have it somewhat together, people that just can and do.
[Intro] 🍑 P E A C H 🍑
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 13:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxs4r/p_e_a_c_h/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else do High Restriction?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 13:29:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxqd9/anyone_else_do_high_restriction/
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[removed]
[Tip] Almond milk lifehack
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 12:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxilm/almond_milk_lifehack/
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I'm cringing because I actually used the word lifehack, but whatever, I thought this was worth sharing: Next time you get the chance, put a little bit of ground cinnamon in your almond milk. To me, it makes it taste just like a graham cracker.
When thinspo is actually eye bleach..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 12:22:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uxbs6/when_thinspo_is_actually_eye_bleach/
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[deleted]
[Other] The 14-year-old-MPA-lurking version of myself would be so proud
/u/ilostmynarwhal [5'8" |F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux4g9/the_14yearoldmpalurking_version_of_myself_would/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] BED, therapy, and medication
/u/NuclearLemon76 [5'11" | 165 | 23.0 | M]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:44:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux37o/bed_therapy_and_medication/
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Hey guys, I used to be a regular on this sub a few years ago. I was actually one of the mods for a while; then I started self-medicating with Adderall and that pretty much cured my ED. I was skinny, productive, and happy. Due to career reasons, I had to stop taking it about a year ago and now I've relapsed into full fledged binge eating disorder. I've gained over 30 pounds and I hate myself.
Lately I've started thinking about the feelings I had back when I was anorexic, and I remembered how much I miss that. I miss being cold. I miss seeing my ribs. I miss how my collar bones stuck out. I miss how defined my cheek bones were. I miss how much people cared about me. I miss the attention. Now I'm overweight and I don't have nearly as many friends, I lost my girlfriend, and I'm overall just a crappy person.
I'm a guy and I'm an athlete. I'm the least suspected person to have an ED. No one understands what I go through at every meal. What the binges are like. I'm in therapy, but I feel like I'm getting nowhere. I know what works - Adderall - but in order to accomplish my goals in my career field I can't take it or be prescribed it. So here I am.
I miss Ana's voice in my head. I want her back. I know how bad that sounds, but I just want to say it.
[Rant/Rave] Sunday funday?
/u/Cirrocumulus_
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:42:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux2xy/sunday_funday/
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[removed]
[Other] Purged homemade German cake in a portable toilet while two boys played with sticks 5 metres away.
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:38:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ux20b/purged_homemade_german_cake_in_a_portable_toilet/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they're too "wide"
/u/imnidades
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:28:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwzyy/does_anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_too_wide/
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I really want my waist to be a small 22 inches but realistically I don't know if it'll ever be smaller than 27 inches because of my "wide" frame :'(. I have wide shoulders, wide ribcage, wide bust. When I turn to the side I don't look so bad but front facing I hate myself.
[Discussion] Is anybody else here a total watermelon addict?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | LW: 119| CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:26:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwzm5/is_anybody_else_here_a_total_watermelon_addict/
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Not gonna lie, I'm mostly creating this thread because I've recently discovered I am capable of eating an entire watermelon in a day by myself and I feel ashamed.
But seriously though, watermelons are the ultimate binge food. 91% water and 27 calories per 100 grams. Not to mention delicious and better than any kind of ice-cream on a hot day.
[Help] [Help] gained an inch all over
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 11:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwv1l/help_gained_an_inch_all_over/
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Before I left on holiday I was (or at least, thought I was) ~100 and 32-23-34. Weighed last week on my last day of holiday (on a hotel scale, after dinner and just getting off an airplane), and I'd jumped up to 110. I thought it had to be a mistake but I measured today and I've gained an inch all over. So now I'm worried that I never actually managed to get down to 100 and I've just been lying to myself. I can't believe I managed to reset all my progress like that so quickly, and I'm worried that this is a sign that if I ever try to eat without counting calories I'll just get fat. I feel like I'm constantly in this endless cycle of losing five pounds and then gaining them all back and I just want it to be done, especially since it takes me ages to lose any noticeable amount of weight since I'm relatively short. I'm so crushed.
Edit: and I have to host a brunch in an hour. Kill me.
[Discussion] Who has PCOS here?
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -21| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:43:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwqjq/who_has_pcos_here/
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I have pushed myself so hard in the past month. I have done everything I can to trust the process and not weigh, at least to the point where I thought it would help me. Fast forward to Thursday. The scale read a weight that I thought I had already by-passed. Even though I know I've lost 20 pounds, it feels hopeless because I'm still overweight. I got really upset about it, to the point that I couldn't bear to look at myself.
My roommate knows that I have issues with this. She tried to spin it on the fact that she had an eating disorder when she was in high school, and that she understood exactly what I'm going through. She weighs about 50-60 pounds less than I do, is gorgeous, and eats almost 3500++ calories a day and gains nothing. I couldn't respond back to her because I know that I would have said something mean.
I feel like I'm spiraling. How do any of you manage your PCOS symptoms (like insulin resistance or the weight gain) with your ED? Do you lose? Does the weight stay off?
I'm desperate trying to make this work, and I feel like I'm at my wit's end. Any suggestions would be incredible.
[Rant/Rave] I don't get why I can't stop myself from eating
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:22:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwm92/i_dont_get_why_i_cant_stop_myself_from_eating/
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It's like I can't go a single day without food. Yet people are able to do it all the time and not even notice/care.
Instead i'm over here eating thousands of calories and wondering why i'm like this. Great.
[Help] Chewing and Spitting Addict
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:16:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwkzr/chewing_and_spitting_addict/
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I don't know what's happening to me. I can't stop c/s-ing. Before I used to do it occasionally, but lately I'm doing it every chance I get. I'm addicted and I can't stop and the worst part is that I still feel bad afterwards because I wasted food my family could've eaten.
But it's still wasted food when I eat it out of boredom, so might as well choose wastefulness that doesn't make me fat. I need to stop. But I don't know how, because I'd rather c/s than binge.
I only do this when I'm staying at my grandma's where I know i can get away with this behaviour, so I can't wait to go back to my parents where I can't c/s without definitely getting caught. I'm so disgusting. I'm such a wreck and I hate myself.
[Help] Water weight
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 116.6 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:05:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwiqr/water_weight/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone know why subs like r/loseit seem to forbid <1200 calorie restriction?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 10:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwin0/does_anyone_know_why_subs_like_rloseit_seem_to/
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Like it seems kind of ridiculous. All the sub 5'3" ladies complain about not being able to lose as much as fast, but I'm just like, eat less??? If a smaller person needs fewer calories, wouldn't it follow they'd need fewer nutrients?
[Rant/Rave] Thanks mom - no, really, thank you
/u/tresliz [5"7 | too much | [redacted] | ~25 lost | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 20 09:43:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwebh/thanks_mom_no_really_thank_you/
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Two days ago my mom commented on my weight out of the blue. "You look good. You've lost weight. Your clothes are looser, do you want to go shopping?"
I told her thank you and I hadn't noticed. How vain is that lol.
And if I'm down a size, which I hope I am soon, I do want to go shopping. Thank you mom for feeding my indulgence omg.
[Rant/Rave] Haven't been able to stop eating for two weeks... I just want someone to euthanise me at this point.
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 66.7 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 25F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 09:37:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwd2i/havent_been_able_to_stop_eating_for_two_weeks_i/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.20
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 09:22:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uwa5g/thinspiration_820/
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http://imgur.com/a/RCa9x
Garcinia?
/u/smickles11
Created: Sun Aug 20 09:14:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw8q5/garcinia/
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[removed]
[Tip] "This is a support subreddit for those who are suffering with an ED or disordered eating behaviors but are not ready for recovery." This does not. Make. Any. Sense! I suffered hard anorexia a long time ago and I never got you "not ready for recovery" types. Read this instead, it's true.
/u/No_Tail_Not_A_Dog
Created: Sun Aug 20 08:57:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw55x/this_is_a_support_subreddit_for_those_who_are/
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https://68.media.tumblr.com/c460a4256ecb59ca7079da0ea7ff072d/tumblr_o61u3aMvDJ1srkvm1o1_500.jpg
How many kcals do you eat per day?
/u/thinkingofaboobjob
Created: Sun Aug 20 08:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw3sy/how_many_kcals_do_you_eat_per_day/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] If you avoid large-scale social interaction and leaving your literal and figurative comfort zone because of your weight and other complexes or mental illnesses that may have stemmed from or caused your shitty relationship with food and now you feel stuck and unworthy of life, clap your hands 👏👏
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW166 | GW120 | BMI24.07 | 19F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 08:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uw3an/if_you_avoid_largescale_social_interaction_and/
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I haven't done a single thing this entire summer except work and sleep and overeat. My dad and littlest brother just went to visit extended family in Spain and I didn't go, 100% because I'm an ugly fat fuck who shouldn't be seen and I know I'd be eating a ton of shit like octopus in oil and fried peppers. Instead, I'm at home fasting and eating 1000 calories breaks and hating my entire existence, so it's not all bad :)))))
[Discussion] August 20th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 07:50:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvt97/august_20th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Whose team are you on?
(??? Idk)
[Rant/Rave] I FUCKIN DID IT I ACTUALLY STOPPED MY FAT ASS
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Sun Aug 20 07:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvppf/i_fuckin_did_it_i_actually_stopped_my_fat_ass/
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Sorry for the click bait but I'm so excited & my best friend is still sleeping I think (ahem u/blondecurlyhair).
I have posted here before talking about my problem with binge drinking and then subsequently binge eating. It super sucked because when I relapsed into my ED back in December, my only crutch was to drink a lot a fuckin wine and the occasional whole bottle of liquor with a chaser of 4 beers. Lots & lots of empty calories es no bueno. I posted for advice, but the general consensus was I should probably stop drinking if I get so drunk that 1) I go over my calories just from alcohol and 2) I go even FURTHER over my calories from all the shitty carby junky fast food and snacks I devour afterwards.
Well, good news is I barely drink anymore! I can't reason with myself with how many calories are in alcohol enough to do it daily like I was before.
SO THIS IS THE AWESOME PART PEEP THIS SHIT
I went to a party last night with the express mission to drink (1 shot of whisky in Coke Zero, 3 shots of tequila with lime slices & salt). I got pretty god damn drunk because I'd only eaten an egg white yesterday, on purpose to allow the alcohol calories, but I DIDNT EAT ANY SNACKS.
AND I GOT HIGH. GUYS. GUYS. DRUNK & HIGH ME DID NOT RUIN MY LIFE. I DIDNT EAT A SINGLE FUCKING THING.
I'm so happy w myself. My resolve is getting so good. And I just knew the next day I'd probably be a little hungover and a lot disappointed and upset and regretting life if I ate anything and I didn't just -sigh- I'm so proud of myself for once.
[Rant/Rave] Visiting my family and they keep commenting on my weight :(
/u/pm_me_dog_picz
Created: Sun Aug 20 06:38:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvhwj/visiting_my_family_and_they_keep_commenting_on_my/
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I've been clinging to bulimia recovery by the tip of my pinky finger for the past couple months. Every day is a battle to stop lapses and stay out of full-blown relapse. When I was severely bulimic I gained a lot of weight bc I binged more than I purged and often was a lazy purger (which I know is a fucked up thing to say). Now in recovery I have lost the weight I gained and reached a healthy weight. 140-145 lbs at 5'8.5". Healthy, but everyone has skewed views of what a healthy weight is so maybe thin in normies eyes nowadays.
Growing up, I was always fat. So I guess my being a healthy weight is a bit jarring to my family especially because my mum and sister are overweight. I'm visiting them for the weekend and the comments just wouldnt stop yesterday.
It started when I tried on a pair of small leggings. My sister - "Ohhh my god, you're soooo tiny!"
Later everyone was feeling hot, but I was cold. My sister - "Oh my god you need to eat more, you have no body fat to keep you warm, take that fitbit off or I'm going to rip it off of you ^hahaha"
(My mom always says shit like this too)
Later we were at a family event. My dad kept talking about how hungry I must be, how "we need to get some food into you," and then later when I got a big plate of food "Wow that's what you were waiting for, better than protein bars eh??? You mustve been so hungry!"
(I ate pretty much what everyone else ate all day. Not sure why I would be more hungry than them.)
And of course upon seeing my big plate of food everyone told me how much food it was, how hungry I mustve been, wow thats SOOO MUCH FOOD!
It was a lot of food. My TDEE is in the 2000s and I'm an active person. Fuck off.
When I'm with my family and they say that shit it makes me feel so fucking disgusting, guys. Idek why, it just makes me feel like my recovery is totally invalid, they think I'm starving myself even though I'm trying SO HARD TO EAT HEALTHILY (so hard, you guys) and it seriously makes me never want to eat again. It makes me feel so fucking gross and self conscious and just AWARE of my body.
I ended up snapping at my sister and my dad which I never do. But idk. I feel so gross. I want to restrict now. I hate it. I fucking hate this.
Sorry for the essay. :( :( :( :(
Daily Food Diary! August 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 20 06:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uve7b/daily_food_diary_august_20_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 20, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 20 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uve5j/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Rant/Rave] I'm sitting here crying over food again (:
/u/IceInIridian
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:53:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvbo9/im_sitting_here_crying_over_food_again/
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Haha what the hell is wrong with me honestly
So my mum fried chicken this morning and I honestly love chicken in almost any form so I was planning on fitting that in today with some rice I made last night
Everything was fine until my mum took the portion of rice I had made and ate it and now there's no rice left (Asian problems) and now I have to make more rice but that means i'll have to warm up the chicken because its cold and chicken gets gross if I microwave it and that means i'd have to eat the chicken cold but cold chicken in my opinion is disgusting, and its almost nine pm and its way to late to make rice but I wanted rice with my chicken damn it and now I can't eat my chicken :(
So I was like ok fuck it i'll just eat cereal but as soon as I walked into the kitchen I started staring at the fucking chicken and I realized I couldn't eat cereal because then i'd be wasting the chicken. At this point i'm hangry and PMSing and so I just start bawling like an idiot in the middle of the kitchen.
This sounds so stupid now that i'm reading it out but for some reason it really means a lot to me. The only thing that sounds appealing to me is that damn chicken but I cant eat it now which means I can't eat dinner and its just UGHH
I just really want my chicken :(
EDIT: LOL you're all right haha I was overreacting
I got my chicken ;)
[Rant/Rave] Stalked people I knew from highschool on social media in a fit of depression - am now even more depressed.
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:93bs |]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:52:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvbhf/stalked_people_i_knew_from_highschool_on_social/
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Was hoping I'd see people gain weight (because i'm a horrible person who has no other achievements to feel proud of other than losing 40lbs which was a byproduct of an eating disorder and *not* by living healthily and making good choices,)
**But** it turns out they're all healthy weights and leading successful lives!! and they're all still friends with each other!! meanwhile I have no friends! several untreated mental illnesses! and an inability to cope with stress in healthy ways! yay!
[Discussion] Any of yall hate looking like a grown up?
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | Useless junkie loser]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:48:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uvb1c/any_of_yall_hate_looking_like_a_grown_up/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I always get confused doing LAUNDRY of all things :|
/u/CorpulentThrowaway [5'5.5 | -27 | LW+GW 95 | 23M]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:35:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uv9gc/i_always_get_confused_doing_laundry_of_all_things/
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I always do laundry for my boyfriend and I. I think I've mentioned here before, but he has really bad knees (to the point he has disability tags in his car for them) and the stairs to his basement are particularly narrow and hard on them, and that's where the washer/dryer is, so.
For context, I am 5'5 with limbs of brittle spaghetti and he is 6'2 and mighty. Not overweight, just broad and with a fair bit of muscle just from day-to-day moving heavyish stuff around.
Anyway: when I fold the laundry, I sort it all out in piles of his/mine to make putting it away easier. But literally every time I get confused and have to re-sort at least one thing because I'll grab a pair of his pants--which, as he's 9 inches taller than me, are SIGNIFICANTLY LARGER THAN MINE even though he's a healthy weight--and go "oh yeah that's about how fat I am" and fold it up with mine without thinking. It does not even occur to me until I glance at the pile again and notice the one pair way larger than the rest.
Yesterday I did one better. We recently moved in with his sister while his house sells and we find a new place. I was pulling pants out of the dryer and most of them were his. His, his, his--and when I pulled out a pair of my own I literally went ":? What child left their pants here? does his sister babysit?" because my brain just could not fucking accept they were mine for a moment? They look SO much smaller than what I could possibly wear but they're starting to get baggy on me! Somehow "ah yes a mystery preteen I've never heard about must have washed their clothes here for some reason" made more sense than "my legs are this small" in that moment. I am *absurd.*
Does anyone else have this weird clothing dysmorphia? I swear to god clothes grow three sizes as soon as they get on my body.
[Help] What did I do???
/u/eatdrinksmokegreen [5'4" | 117.5 lbs | 20.1 | -52.5 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 05:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uv7wd/what_did_i_do/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Livejournal
/u/reupj
Created: Sun Aug 20 04:06:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uuz5g/livejournal/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Fav articles/stories about ED
/u/reupj
Created: Sun Aug 20 03:24:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uuukz/fav_articlesstories_about_ed/
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Ive never come across any good online reading material and just wondering if anyone has anything they thought was an authentic look into this life?
Link any articles/essays/short stories ❤️
[Intro] Lurking no more!
/u/fuckwit_charlie [5'2 | 86lbs | BMI: 16 | W/L: 16lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 20 03:03:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uusb7/lurking_no_more/
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Hello ladies and gents!
Been lurking for a few weeks, just thought I would pop up and say hello! I'm a relapsing anorexic and although none of us would choose to be like this, it's comforting that there's a community that 'gets it'. I'm 5'2, 86lbs with my UGW as 80, so I just need some pals and motivation to get me through it!
I'm currently at a plateau and need some advice on how to break it. I work out three times a week for around 1.5 hours (30-40 mins cardio and the rest weight training) and walk my dog for at least 45 minutes the days I don't gym, and usually max out at 800 kcal. Never really b/p or c/s, but laxatives are my best friend! Any help or advice would be appreciated, and sorry for the long post!
[Rant/Rave] Waking up, smelling dinner in the whole house.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 02:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uurqx/waking_up_smelling_dinner_in_the_whole_house/
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[removed]
Pub food? Camping?
/u/fssecret
Created: Sun Aug 20 02:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uumu5/pub_food_camping/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I haven't been interacting here much lately
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 20 01:18:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uugnf/i_havent_been_interacting_here_much_lately/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Party ≠ Binge
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Sun Aug 20 00:20:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu9qz/party_binge/
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Feeling stoked rn. Today was one of the girls in my host family's birthday and we had a party with just about 20 people and enough food for twice that.
But I only had two thin Bratwürste, some sort of cherry fizzy drink, and less than a quarter of a cup of potato salad (which I forced myself to finish to keep up some semblance of normality*). By the time the cake came out, I wasn't even in the mood. Plus sugar hasn't really been agreeing with me here, anyway, so that's a plus.
The table was laden with several types of salad, three kinds of cupcakes, some roasted meats, lots of booze, and, the kicker, two big bags of Brötchen. And I had (almost) *none* of it. My basic strategy was to pick something out from each possibility that bothered me: the cupcake "hamburgers" had desiccated coconut. The other muffin-like ones had something mixed in, but I didn't know what it was -- no eating those! Success.
Of course, I like trying new things, and that kind of an excuse directly defies that, but whatever helps, right?
Maybe next time will be even better and I *won't* cry in the portable toilet for five minutes!
*Not that it really mattered. I'm an introvert and tend to fade out of the collective consciousness at parties, especially when no-one is speaking a language I've nearly enough confidence in.
(P.S. I was also scrolling through r/proED practically the whole time. Love y'all 😘❤️)
[Help] Dealing with the cold??
/u/ThisIsGumpy
Created: Sun Aug 20 00:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu8e4/dealing_with_the_cold/
---
I'm always fucking cold and I can't stand it. I see all of these aesthetic girls thinner than me in shorts and tank tops and all I can think (aside from goals) is how???
How do you deal with the cold?
[Discussion] eating a little vs exercising & eating more?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:48:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu5lh/eating_a_little_vs_exercising_eating_more/
---
[deleted]
Restart
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu4kr/restart/
---
[removed]
[Help] Grocery shopping staples in Canada
/u/CandidTriceratops
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:31:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu36y/grocery_shopping_staples_in_canada/
---
I've gone through many posts about grocery staples but I can't recognise some of the brands that are mentioned like I've never seen halo top or arctic zero.
I have come into an extra $80 and would like to buy myself some low calorie foods that will last a long time and some fruits and vegetables. What do you all buy, if you have calorie counts that would be amazing! I'm not a huge fan of most vegetables, but I love all fruits.
Also question: I can't get a straight answer from google or mfp. How many calories in one average size chicken breast? I don't have a food scale 😭
[Humor] Stomach Flu day #5
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uu18o/stomach_flu_day_5/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] "Wow, you're eating really fast"
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 119.5 | 19.61 :( | 6.5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 19 23:07:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utzv0/wow_youre_eating_really_fast/
---
[removed]
[Humor] Started on bujo journal app today, what do you guys think of my saved activities
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 22:16:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utsd5/started_on_bujo_journal_app_today_what_do_you/
---
https://imgur.com/JXQX79Y
[Goal] No scales from now until October
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 22:11:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utrl2/no_scales_from_now_until_october/
---
I've become obsessed. Weigh in in the morning, before I go to bed, after I take a shit. My husband is concerned and frankly so am I. Everytime I'm still at my plateau i binge and practice a lot of self hate.
So I'm breaking the chains and won't be getting back on the scales until October 1st. I've got my schedule planned out so I'm eating 1100 calories, working out to burn at least 400 calories and hopefully by October I'll see some results.
4 Day Fast buddies?
/u/skinnyminnyxxx
Created: Sat Aug 19 21:58:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6utpff/4_day_fast_buddies/
---
[removed]
when i'm done running...
/u/kennedyy8 [5'9 | 130 | 18.85 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 20:21:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ut8wl/when_im_done_running/
---
[removed]
[Other] I've Pavloved myself. [Humor]
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 19:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uszqa/ive_pavloved_myself_humor/
---
I just finished a cup of plain old chamomile tea. Now I'm having stomach cramps.
Because I have a serious love-hate relationship with the chamomile Smooth Move tea, my body now strongly believes that *all* chamomile tea is a secret laxative.
I've just accidentally classically conditioned my intestines.
[Other] August 19th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Sat Aug 19 19:10:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uswbt/august_19th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What really bothered you today?
(Sorry it's so late everyone, but for this one it kind of works!)
[Humor] Someone took me out to a buffet tonight
/u/CandidTriceratops
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:55:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ustsl/someone_took_me_out_to_a_buffet_tonight/
---
https://i.redd.it/ki1kcxrljsgz.jpg
[Discussion] Your must haves on your grocery list
/u/tobethinspo [5'0 | 21.1 | CW: 102.6]
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:44:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uss0f/your_must_haves_on_your_grocery_list/
---
Going grocery shopping in a little bit and was reminded of all the grocery haul photos that I've seen here. What are your must haves/buys whenever you go shopping? Why?
[Humor] Turns out I'm really good at maintaining
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uskqf/turns_out_im_really_good_at_maintaining/
---
[removed]
[Other] Grocery Haul ($35)
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Aug 19 18:09:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uskct/grocery_haul_35/
---
http://imgur.com/a/afSF1
[Discussion] When do you
/u/randiont
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:24:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6usc1q/when_do_you/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Bought and ate cookie dough for the first time today...
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6usbz4/bought_and_ate_cookie_dough_for_the_first_time/
---
Why is this legal?
This god awful deliciousness is cocaine in a packet, how does the government expect us to all be at a healthy BMI and fight the war on obesity with this shit!????
I'm angry. But it's worth the calories right? Even if I'm living on monster for the rest of the day.
<3
[Help] Antidepressant and Weight Gain
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:21:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6usbf9/antidepressant_and_weight_gain/
---
[removed]
[Help] nauseous with c&s?
/u/jian-ao [5"4 | 110 | 18.88 | -25 | f]
Created: Sat Aug 19 17:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us9gr/nauseous_with_cs/
---
since i started c&s, been rly nauseous whenever i actually try to eat food, at least for the first couple minutes...is this normal?
[Other] anyone have a twitter?
/u/thinsecret [5'8" | CW 155 | BMI 23.6 | SW 190 | GW 123 | 21F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us65a/anyone_have_a_twitter/
---
I mostly lurk here, but I probably tweet every five minutes. Delete if this isn't allowed.
If you want a follow on twitter drop your @ below!
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:53:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us620/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/y5hfy0rxxrgz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My alcohol tolerance has completely disappeared.
/u/Cotey1 [Height 5'4 | CW 112lbs | GW 102lbs | BMI 19.22 | Gender F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:28:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us1fo/my_alcohol_tolerance_has_completely_disappeared/
---
So throughout the last year i've had drinks with my friend and can usually stand 2-3 shots and be on the brink of being drunk, but me drunk is just me acting more chill so there isn't much difference.
But two days ago now we were at the house of one of my friends and i literally had 3/4 of a shot (some coconut flavoured rum, was delicious) and five minutes later i was ready to pass out and they forced me to eat bread and peanut butter and i felt so shitty and because of my ED i can't even drink anymore.
it was like life was lagging? like i would look somewhere and it would take a couple seconds to catch up, and they all thought i was dying. i'm so so glad i didn't pass out because i know they would have called an ambulance and the thought of that is terrifying.
does anyone relate to having no tolerance anymore?
[Help] Non-ED person here. My boyfriend is bulimic, need advice on how to deal with it.
/u/thisathrowinnit
Created: Sat Aug 19 16:28:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6us1ds/noned_person_here_my_boyfriend_is_bulimic_need/
---
I fucking love him to bits, he's one of the very few people in my life who has genuinely given my existence some meaning. Seeing him doing this to himself breaks my heart and I feel so useless.
He's had bulimia for years, but that issue was never in the forefront given a lot of other shit we have had to go through, now it's easily the thing that dominates my fears about him most. I just wish there were a way for him to be able to see himself through my eyes and realise the damage his disorder is doing and how unbelievably attractive he really is.
I'm doing my best to understand his condition and to be sympathetic despite being completely unable to grasp the logic under which he functions, the glaring contradictions he knows he's making, the damage he knows he's doing, etc.
I know there isn't a way for me to "cure" him or whatever, I just want to know what I can do to help him even if only to make him slightly happier with himself. I've done a fair amount of research, but most of my resources have been geared toward people suffering EDs themselves. So I stumbled across the subreddit and decided speaking directly to people going through the same things as my boyfriend would maybe provide a clearer picture.
So here goes:
• What are absolute no-nos in trying to help?
• What are absolute yes-yeses(?) in trying to help?
• What are things I should definitely avoid saying?
• What are good ways to prevent myself from being dragged down into an even
deeper depression because of this, while still being there for him?
I know this type of post isn't typical to this sub, I just hope it starts a bit of a conversation on this topic.
[Help] Ugh. Laxatives.
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Sat Aug 19 14:36:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6urf9e/ugh_laxatives/
---
On mobile, please tag rant.
I took some to lose some water weight, as I'm trying to look nice next weekend. Yeahhhhh I'm about to work for five hours and it's NOW HITTING ME. I pooped three times before I left and I'm feeling the cramps as I sit in the parking lot. I'm also on my period and I'm cramping from that. Help me 😪😪😪😪😪😪😪
[Other] Grocery Haul
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 13:47:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ur5g1/grocery_haul/
---
https://i.redd.it/v7sj4vzq0rgz.jpg
[Other] Not necessarily ED related but do any of you find it super hard to find good friends?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 19 13:39:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ur3tf/not_necessarily_ed_related_but_do_any_of_you_find/
---
Hey /r/ProED,
This is not super ED related but I am curious to ask anyway,
Do you guys find it super hard to find GOOD friends? By that I mean friends who are not flakey, and actually text you to hang out? Friends who you can trust, and go to, for advice?
I feel like people are just shitty and with my ED its more difficult to be able to trust people.
Edit : k. Can we all just be best friends and real to each other ?! 💚❤️
[Rant/Rave] rave - im one kidney infection away from my goal weight *~*~
/u/bellexy [5'8 | 24. 82 |GW 121 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 13:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqz2a/rave_im_one_kidney_infection_away_from_my_goal/
---
not really but you know
so work stress has decimated my life over the last few months and I literally gained 10 real life human pounds (so whenever you feel like a fuck up, keep that in mind). I would not stop eating. id binge on snacks in between all three meals and then have beer/cocktails after work too, which is insane considering I used to *strictly* intermittent fast, only eating between 7-10 pm. I went up a pant size it was that bad so yeah, I fucked uppp.
well! monday night I started getting chills, tuesday was 18 hours of straight up delirious fever, sweating, chills, I think my dresser is trying to talk to me, the whole nine yards. got to urgent care then sent to the ER for a severe kidney infection. ct scans and lots of fluids and antibiotics and pain killers later I'm back at home blah blah, five pounds down (I'm sure completely related to dehydration) and now I'm feeling much better as far as pain goes but my appetite is still just gone. I can't bring myself to drink anything but water - even diet coke, sprite zero, etc tastes weird and gross now. it took me over an hour to drink one beer yesterday. I tried to eat some oatmeal this morning and could barely manage half of it.
I am so insanely excited it's like I don't even have to try right now and it is the exact fresh start I needed to break out of that binge cycle. like it wholly sucked and still isn't that fun, but god DAMN do I feel lucky for it.
[Other] Group chats?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~55.6 | UGW: 120lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:59:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqvg1/group_chats/
---
Are there any kik groups out there still going? Sorry if this isn't allowed.
[Rant/Rave] strange grief?
/u/descloux [5'9.5 | 145 | 21.11 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:51:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqtvx/strange_grief/
---
This past day or two have been my first "normal" days in terms of calorie consumption since I found out my best friend died. Ever since he died all of my focus has been on vanity, beauty, and restriction. I've been splurging on makeup and clothing, etc. Things I never cared much about at all before.
He took his own life. I feel a sense of responsibility to him to do all of the things he believed he couldn't. Seeking beauty is a way to make me feel like I am furthering myself. I think about committing suicide a lot, but life has become this game I'm playing with myself, and I want to win.
I binged last night to this morning, and though I'm embarrassed and saddened I feel resolve to not fucking screw up again. I want to be a tougher person when I come out of this. Thinking about him is the ultimate appetite suppressant. I'm a shitty person to find that a gain out of all of this.
I can't win this because either way he's gone.
[Rant/Rave] Idk
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqr2j/idk/
---
The state of mental healthcare in the US is fucked. I feel like medical professionals in the field of psychology don't care enough about the quality of life of people with depression, and no one could do enough if they did even care. They just care if you're alive at all. I've considered suicide almost every day for at least the past month, and, just because I haven't attempted, doctors don't think I need more or different help than I'm already getting. I've been inpatient 3 times in the past year, and I know it's not right for me. And that makes me scared to even say I'm suicidal because I don't want to be forced into one.
I hate this world. I hate how harsh it is. I'm **far** too sensitive for any of it.
[Discussion] Any of you at the University of Oklahoma
/u/dinklebot117 [5'11"|120|16.7|18M]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:32:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqpzd/any_of_you_at_the_university_of_oklahoma/
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[removed]
[Other] Baking makes me not hungry. I'm not very good at it, but hey its a new hobby
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqnbj/baking_makes_me_not_hungry_im_not_very_good_at_it/
---
https://i.redd.it/yazitp48lqgz.jpg
[Tip] My New Favorite Breakfast (or lunch or dinner or all of the above)
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:07:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqkin/my_new_favorite_breakfast_or_lunch_or_dinner_or/
---
Cook 2 egg whites (34) with salt and pepper. Spread a rice cake (40) with lite Laughing Cow cheese wedge (25). Heap the scrambeldish egg whites on top of the rice cake and let sit for a minute so that the cheese spread gets melty.
= filling, seemingly large, yummy, flavorful meal/snack for a total of 99 calories.
I used the pepper jack flavor of cheese which added a nice spice. Spicy things always make me feel fuller.
[Intro] Intro and progress
/u/dinklebot117 [5'11"|120|16.7|18M]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:04:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqjuf/intro_and_progress/
---
So ive been lurking here for a while and finally decided to post.
Heres the story: last summer i was diagnosed with depression and binging was my coping mechanism. I got up to 210 lbs and it destroyed my self esteem. When i went to college that fall i started b/p 3 times a day. I had experimented with b/p in high school so i was already familiar with it. I did this for a year and got to the 120s but i couldnt seem to lose any more. So i have decided to start heavily restricting. Today i was 118.
https://m.imgur.com/a/CSZXu
My goal weight was 140 when i started (my lowest in high school) and when i hit 140 i dropped my GW to 120. Ive been there for a while but i just want more. My UGW is 100 and it would be amazing to see double digits but idk if ill survive that.
A part of me knows that most people dont think this is attractive but i dont care. Losing weight makes me feel so much better. This is the only source of happiness that means anything to me and i dont ever want to look like i did.
[Rant/Rave] "You look even paler, and thinner, I can tell you've lost even more weight"
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Sat Aug 19 12:03:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqjo4/you_look_even_paler_and_thinner_i_can_tell_youve/
---
Fuck yes I have! Jesus, that comment made me feel so fucking good. I'm beaming.
(Just to avoid confusion, I live in a boarding home which closes during school holidays, I stay at my grandma's when it's closed).
I'm back at my boarding home and my boarding Dad knows I have an ED, he checks up on me regularly.
He was helping me lower the seat of my bike when I said my sister, I visited her earlier today, commented that I look even paler than usual. He replied with "Yeah, you look even paler, and thinner, I can tell you've lost even more weight". (At this point I'm already ecstatic). The conversation goes somewhat like this:
Boarding Dad: How much more weight have you lost during the holiday?
Me: 3kg
BD: How much do you weigh now?
Me: I don't want to tell you my weight
BD gets angry, 'cause he's concerned
BD: If you keep going like this you're gonna end up in hospital by December
That made me so happy. I've been feeling so shitty lately, that just made my entire week.
Just got medication for my ADD..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 19 11:48:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqgoz/just_got_medication_for_my_add/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Down the rabbit hole...here we go again!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | no clue | went to treatment | send help]
Created: Sat Aug 19 11:34:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uqdkm/down_the_rabbit_holehere_we_go_again/
---
**Backstory:** I've been living in Germany since June as a working student for a dressage trainer.
Since I've been here, I've been losing a bit of weight because my job is extremely active! I work 6 days a week, for the most part, and take anywhere between 18k and 25k steps per day. In addition to that, I'm riding and lifting heavy saddles like 10 times a day. The weight I had been losing was unintentional. But now, I'm finding myself relapsing again kind of.
So far this week, I've barely been eating. I'll eat like, a bowl of muesli with soy milk in the morning, a piece of fruit in the afternoon, and pasta in the evening. But each day it gets less and less. Sometimes I skip the fruit. Sometimes I skip the muesli all together and just eat dinner. Yesterday, I only had muesli with a banana chopped up into it.
Today I only had to work for 3 hours and only took 5k steps so I haven't eaten at all. I've been emotionally distressed because I'm having issues with my SO back home and I'm super fucking lonely here in Germany. I have NO friends. My boss is out of town for the next week, so unless I go into Cologne (the closest major city, I currently live in a tiny village ~20 minutes away from Cologne) I have days where I literally do not open my mouth at all unless it's to talk to my mom on the phone or my SO on the phone (which has been happening less and less lately, since, as I said, we've having issues).
Anyways, the only solace I have here is my job and my eating disorder. Riding the horses is a good outlet for me but the past few weeks I've barely ridden at all. 2 of my bosses 3 horses are out of commission and the one horse I can ride is really young and doesn't have his balance so the riding I do on him is very limited. I was really depressed this morning after I finished work so I took 2mg of Xanax around 11am and didn't wake up until after 5pm. I'm not going to eat the rest of the day (it's 7:30pm right now). I'm gonna pop another 2mg of Xanax at around 9pm and hopefully pass the fuck out at 10pm. This is the first time I've fasted in ages and I'm not even hungry. I mean, I can feel my blood sugar getting really low, but idgaf since I'm gonna be fast asleep in less than 3 hours.
I have tomorrow completely off so I'm going to treat it as a "refeed day". There's this awesome kebab place in Cologne where I get chicken with rice. Then later I *might* go to a bakery to get a few things to take back to my house so I can eat those the rest of the day. It's not really a binge, I just need the carbs for Monday since that's the ONE day my boss will be here all of next week, and knowing she'll only be back for that one day, I know that one day is going to be CRAZY hectic and I need the carbs from the day before to get through Monday. I have no idea if that last sentence made any sense. I'm still groggy from the Xanax.
Anyways, I hope you are doing well. I know ever since I got out of treatment last summer I've hardly been active on this sub, but trust me, you'll be hearing from me a lot more in the months to come.
[Discussion] (TMI?) Does this happen to anybody else?
/u/namelessgia
Created: Sat Aug 19 10:40:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uq281/tmi_does_this_happen_to_anybody_else/
---
Admins feel free to delete this post if it's too sensitive of a topic or anything but after intensive google searching I feel completely alone in this and wanted to see if anyone else here goes through it.
I have never been a purger because I just can't seem to make myself throw up - but tonight for the first time I got something up. The only thing is, it was like I'd gag up tiiny bits of vomit(if you can even call it that - possibly bile/mucus?) at a time? I'd gag and the tiniest bit of sick would come out, but then it'd stop completely and I was left to scratch at the back of my throat for half a minute only for another little bit to come out? Rinse and repeat?
I've never heard of this happening to anyone else.. as bad as I know purging is I kind of feel like a failure and I just wanted to know whether I'm alone in this or not.
[Rant/Rave] Grocery shopping triggers pre-binge thoughts and I wanna kms
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Sat Aug 19 09:32:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6upokt/grocery_shopping_triggers_prebinge_thoughts_and_i/
---
Not even while I'm at the grocery store either. It's when I've come home and put away all the groceries and everything is neat and tidy and organized and I just get...overwhelmed.
I've bought so much food (not really, list of haul below), what should I eat first? Everything? All of it? That sounds lovely. I DONT EVEN LET MYSELF BUY BINGE FOODS ANYMORE (chips, cookies, pasta, yknow all the shitty stuff). That's okay though, I'll binge on healthy food, my brain is totally fine with that. I really really ~~really~~ want to go a full month with no binges. A full month at 450 or under per day. I'm only like 4 days in, how is my resolve already breaking?! I wish I could lock the fridge and cabinets up with a timer and dispenser that only gives me the exact food I need at the exact time I need it and be done with it. *sigh*
# Haul:
Angel tomatoes (24 oz)
2 medium cucumbers
Italian dressing (the cheap kind ~90 cal for 2 tbsp)
Carton of egg whites
Boca veggie patties (~110 per patty, chile relleno style)
9 cans of soup (all under 250 per can)
4 Clif kids bars (chocolate chip and brownie, ~130)
Roasted kale (chile lime and bacon flavored, both 120 or under for the entire package)
Monster Zero Ultra (1 can because I can't afford a 4 pk, but there's 2 currently in the fridge so I feel safe *for now*)
Anyway, anyone else have this problem? Or wanna share their haul? Mine is small and pathetic because I'm super duper poor but I'm praying I can make it last for a month.
Saw an ex with a skinny date last night
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 19 09:18:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uplx3/saw_an_ex_with_a_skinny_date_last_night/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] Lol normal people have no idea what it's actually like not to eat, do they? (found in old reddit thread)
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 09:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6upiub/lol_normal_people_have_no_idea_what_its_actually/
---
https://imgur.com/OpfD0P4
[Help] Would I be considered 'sedentary' or 'lightly active'?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | M/15]
Created: Sat Aug 19 08:47:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6upfnm/would_i_be_considered_sedentary_or_lightly_active/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] What particular food are you craving, right now?
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 19 07:23:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6up10d/what_particular_food_are_you_craving_right_now/
---
I have been fantasizing, practically hallucinating for two days about a donut from the fancy boutique donut store a few blocks away.
I don't really even have a very strong sweet tooth...I'm dreaming of the pillowy warm texture.
I don't think I would feel happy or satisfied if I went and ate one, though. Maybe I'll save it for a special occasion.
Life has never felt to sad and desperate
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW139 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW121]
Created: Sat Aug 19 06:24:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uoryc/life_has_never_felt_to_sad_and_desperate/
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[removed]
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 19 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uopy9/stupid_questions_saturday_august_19_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 19, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 19 06:10:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uopu1/daily_food_diary_august_19_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 19, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] i ate a reasonable amount of food and im stopping
/u/ed_throwaway_sorry
Created: Sat Aug 19 00:17:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6unjdt/i_ate_a_reasonable_amount_of_food_and_im_stopping/
---
i kinda feel full tbh isnt that kinda fucked
didnt eat anything today until a bit before midnight, ordered 60 bucks of delivery
i ate some chicken satay and some pad thai and i guess im throwing the rest away. i dont know what to do! i legit feel so weird right now
was definitely more than im trying to eat but im not gonna purge
just gonna sleep
maybe tomorrow i will eat like a fucking normal person
sorry idk i just dont have anyone irl i can talk to about this stuff !
[Rant/Rave] RANT: Quit purging before it purges your bank
/u/OortLimit [5'0|CW:90|BMI:17.58|GW:82|22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 23:37:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6unduh/rant_quit_purging_before_it_purges_your_bank/
---
Earlier this year I decided to end my year long relationship to purging (*I threw up 3x day, everyday for at least a year*). Stopped b/c I wanted a "healthier" way to manage my ED - how ironic is that?
I wish I ended it earlier. Went to the dentist the other day and discovered "severe decalcification"of several of my teeth. I'm in my twenties and have a mouthful of putrid, rotten teeth.
I had to book back to back emergency appointments to deal with this. I know this was directly caused by purging as I haven't had a single tooth issue for 10 years... Now I have half dozen rotting teeth to deal with and trying to pay for two several thousand dollar surgeries.
* **End purging before it purges all your teeth & every cent from your bank account**
Anorexia/Bulimia life sucks.
[Discussion] Everyone's favorite diet drinks? Recently discovered Pepsi Max Vanilla and love it
/u/avakadava [5'6.5" | 134 | 21.3 | -20]
Created: Fri Aug 18 22:47:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6un6k9/everyones_favorite_diet_drinks_recently/
---
[Humor] The only thing I notice getting smaller
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 22:21:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6un2ll/the_only_thing_i_notice_getting_smaller/
---
is my tits
Fuck my life
I ate 900 calories of pizza today and I wanna die
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 21:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umvqr/i_ate_900_calories_of_pizza_today_and_i_wanna_die/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Juicy Fruit Starburst Strawberry 🍓 gum! My new 💜
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Aug 18 21:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umra1/juicy_fruit_starburst_strawberry_gum_my_new/
---
Stopped me from bingeing/ buying bags of sour patch kids! Switched at checkout! Sour patch kids are my ultimate go to but this gum! Wayyyy better than the sour patch one because that made my cravings worse!Take that binge!
[Rant/Rave] guess who's back
/u/defenestrationdisco [5'8 | CW 55kg | GW 50kg | BMI 18.48 | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:57:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umozc/guess_whos_back/
---
I "recovered" and left this subreddit and now I'm the fattest I've ever been so here I am. Hello again.
Juicy Fruit Strawberry 🍓 Starburst Gum...that is all! Kills fruit candy cravings like woah!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umo71/juicy_fruit_strawberry_starburst_gumthat_is_all/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] Happy or sad?
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:20:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umi9y/happy_or_sad/
---
https://i.redd.it/ahpg365otlgz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I defeated the icecream cake
/u/TheManyArchetypes [5'7.25"|134lbs|20.83|-74|F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umi2z/i_defeated_the_icecream_cake/
---
I work at a place that does art parties for kids. The family offered me some icecream cake from DQ and I declined. They said they didn't want to take it home, and they left it there. I told them I would take care of clean up.
And I fucking struggled with that cake after they left. I was going to take it because 1. Food waste 2. Maybe my husband will eat it (he is out of town until sunday night)
These were both excuses, and I knew I would just end up eating half a cake. So I walked that bitch out back to the dumpster and tossed it out.
I bought halo top on the way home and a cute little 1cup painted ceramic dish to eat my halo top out of.
I win. Fuck you icecream cake.
I just needed to share that, thanks!
[Rant/Rave] i'm back bitchez
/u/kennedyy8 [5'9 | 130 | 18.85 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 20:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umf51/im_back_bitchez/
---
well here i am- i was kennedyconnolly if any of you remember me. this might seem off topic or something but if any of you care you can read about what i've been up to and how i am.
well i am healthier than ever, i am running faster than ever, and getting recruited to run at a few ivy leagues. my weight is not where it was a year ago. a year ago i was around 125. i could not run very well. i gained about 5-8lbs depending on the time of month and day and here i am. i've been working really hard to maintain and focus on eating on a normal schedule. i used to just eat breakfast, dinner and after dinner snack. now i eat breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. they are smaller than what they were but all spread out and good foods- healthy and strong. honestly i'm really happy.
there was a point last year when i wasn't even concerned with my weight, i just wanted to die. so that's when i disappeared from this sub and moved on to the self harm subreddits. i can say with full confidence that my self harming days are over. but i can't say the same about anorexia.
i just watched to the bone. why the fuck would i ever watch that, i don't know it was a terrible idea. lily collins is so fucking beautiful, she looked perfect... i understand that i am at my ideal racing weight. my body fat percentage is 14.96 according to the US Navy formula (pretty accurate, right?) so it's not like i can afford to lose any muscle.
but now i am getting worried that when i leave for college and have no accountability, i will spiral out of control. at that point, the coach can't kick me off the team. so if i become a skeleton it doesn't affect my chances of being on the team... but i am torn between running and being thin.
i want to be out of college, with no parents to watch over me, and get back to my good old sub 17 BMI. oh well.
sorry for this super long rant. i don't know if anyone has made it this far, lol. if anyone wants to talk feel free to message me :)
i missed this community, you guys are all amazing and beautiful.
[Rant/Rave] Is that you thigh gap?
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:51:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umd7y/is_that_you_thigh_gap/
---
I have a thigh gap, it's not huge but it's there and it took a coworker pointing it out for me to notice it
And I'm not fucking this up by giving myself a "reward". I'm heavy restricting for the weekend so I don't have to spend all next week making up for anything.
[Other] do people still use peach ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:49:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6umcwe/do_people_still_use_peach/
---
[deleted]
Halo Top Smores?
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:17:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um7fn/halo_top_smores/
---
I bought some halo top today, and I really wanted the sherbert flavor, but the store didn't have it. I grabbed smores and thought it would be a pretty good choice, but it tastes funny. Idk if it's supposed to be vanilla or marshmallow flavor, but highkey I get the taste of coconut that overpowers everything else. Now I'm sad and trying to prevent myself from going to the store again to binge on regular sherbert. 😭 god I hate coconut.
[Rant/Rave] Vyvanse (lol)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 19:13:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um6v4/vyvanse_lol/
---
[deleted]
My sister who has battled anorexia and now overcome it started a blog about 6 months ago talking about her experiences and what she's learned. Feel free to take a read, the link is to her story so you have some back ground.
/u/elibeard51
Created: Fri Aug 18 18:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um2ve/my_sister_who_has_battled_anorexia_and_now/
---
http://myfightforbalance.blogspot.com/2017/01/how-did-i-get-to-this-point.html?m=1
[Rant/Rave] WELL shit now I'm paranoid
/u/daddytrumps
Created: Fri Aug 18 18:44:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6um1l1/well_shit_now_im_paranoid/
---
[removed]
[Humor] 6 months pregnant...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 17:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ulmbu/6_months_pregnant/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] Tell me your "favourite" cringey pro-ED/MPA/Tumblr quote or "tip"!!!
/u/jjfmish
Created: Fri Aug 18 17:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uljf3/tell_me_your_favourite_cringey_proedmpatumblr/
---
Let's revisit our past demons.
[Discussion] How did you decide you were ready for recovery?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 110 | bmi 17.2 | 20yr female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 16:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ulcvs/how_did_you_decide_you_were_ready_for_recovery/
---
Today i did it. I hit below 110 lbs. yet i am crying.
Its not fun. I am currently lying at home while all my friends are at a party. Why? I am too damn tired to walk there because of my Restriction. I am crying because i just I want to live. I want to let go of my obsession with food. I want to feel human. But i dont know if I am ready.
[Other] My pup is the best medicine
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 16:28:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ulb1c/my_pup_is_the_best_medicine/
---
I've had GI issues for years and years. I get gas stuck in my stomach and it sucks and makes me want to scream sometimes. Recently it's been happening daily. When I restrict all day and then eat at night I'm screwed. The only solution I have is pressure.
That's where Moo comes in. He will lay on my stomach and cuddle. He's like a weighted blanket and a heating pad. And a therapist too. This dog is my heart. And my Tums/Gas-X hahaha!
Does anyone else have a pet that helps them? Pets are the absolute best.
http://i.imgur.com/RqLbcHL.jpg
[Rant/Rave] can't eat without feeling guilt
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 15:46:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ul20z/cant_eat_without_feeling_guilt/
---
i've (obviously lol) had issues with food for a while, but lately i can't eat anything without feeling guilty. with the exception of vegetables, some fruit, and things that i know are <30 calories (mostly under 10-15 calories tbh), i feel really guilty and gross when i eat. i feel like i gain weight immediately after eating literally anything, so i know it's at least partially in my head. i hate that i can't eat anything without feeling guilty idk it feels really unsustainable and shitty
[Rant/Rave] IM SO GROSS WTF
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 112.8 | 18.5 | -117.2 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Fri Aug 18 15:18:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukvzg/im_so_gross_wtf/
---
I just really need to get this off my chest, on mobile so please flair as rant/rave
OKAY SO I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO WEIGH IN TODAY BC I'M HAVING A "SUPER FUN" WEEKEND TRIP AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE. Right before we left I came in at 112.8 which is just barely underweight for my height (going by the standard bmi formula because the new one makes me cry lol) and just.... how am I still so disgusting?!!!!???? Idk how it's even possible for me to look this awful, I've just been hiding out in our hotel room for the past 3 hours crying and doing squats.
I'm so embarrassed that I went out in public looking like this (AND I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I LOOKED KINDA GOOD WTF), I just want to scrape all the fat off.
I've been restricting to under 290 cal every day for the past month and a half, and I've wanted to try eating a bit more bc I feel terrible. LOL NOPE, NOT HAPPENING. Screw everything. My intake for today is 100 cal exactly, I don't think I'll be able to eat anymore. I'm so ashamed of this body.
[Rant/Rave] 88 lbs and I still look like a whale
/u/hoot2156
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:35:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukm2e/88_lbs_and_i_still_look_like_a_whale/
---
As of today I'm 88 lbs and 5'3", making my BMI 15.6
Today somebody told me I look like I'm 100 lbs. I know 100 is still underweight for me but I feel like there should be a large difference in appearance between 15.6 BMI and 17.7
It makes me feel like all my work at restricting is for nothing if it doesn't even show. Ugh.
[Humor] If you only knew...
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukm1y/if_you_only_knew/
---
Friend: "Your metabolism is amazing, no wonder you're so skinny!"
Me: "Haha yup" *panicked face*
...it has nothing to do with the fact that I've eaten less than 100 calories today... :/
[Rant/Rave] The past six months I have been completely out of control, binging 8,000 calories at least once a week. Today I Googled how do I stop self-harming.
/u/canikeepit [5'4" | 147 | BMI25 | -73 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:33:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukloo/the_past_six_months_i_have_been_completely_out_of/
---
"Step 3. Throw away any tools used to self-mutilate. ..."
I know everyone here knows this, but herein lies the problem. If there is food in the house (and I have a family, so there must be) I will use it to self-harm. I can lessen the "weight" effect by binging on carrots, but mentally it's not dissimilar from cheesecake. An actual binge when I am fully out of control is the same no matter the food.
I know I can be better. I've been better for long periods of time. In fact this is the worst it's ever been, which means there is every reason to look forward to the future, logically. I'm having a hard time feeling logical right now though. Just wanted to vent. Needed a safe space. Thanks you guys.
Cooking at home- flank steak
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:13:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukh3x/cooking_at_home_flank_steak/
---
[deleted]
[Other] I met an old friend, and I'm not sure if she encouraged me to get better or triggered me to get worse
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |50 kg | 18,4 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 14:06:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukfhf/i_met_an_old_friend_and_im_not_sure_if_she/
---
After a couple glasses of wine, she said that I'm still too skinny. Not like scary-skinny like I used to be, but way too thin anyway. And if I just weighed more and hid my self-harm scars, people would treat me like anyone else. One of our mutual friends is scared to meet me because I am so... ED'd, at least that's what she said.
Honestly, I'm glad. I'm almost normal weight, and people think I should gain weight. But I'm also sad and worried if my issues really hinder my chances to rekindle old friendships. In short, this is just one instance where I have to choose whether I want to be underweight or have a normal social life.
[Other] I have to be more careful with xanax
/u/adenrules
Created: Fri Aug 18 13:53:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ukciu/i_have_to_be_more_careful_with_xanax/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Back to this...
/u/life-as-a-loon [5'3"|CW 112.5|20.5|F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 13:16:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uk3vc/back_to_this/
---
Well...this post is kinda pointless, I guess. I've spent the past few weeks actively avoiding my online ED haunts. I've been forcing myself to eat like a normal human. Annnnnd I gained 6 lbs. FML. My guilt keeps making me eat more and hate myself more and take more laxatives.
Today I was eating lunch at my desk at work and my supervisor walked in and I suddenly realized I had been chewing and spitting the second half of my sandwich and chips absentmindedly. I hadn't even made the conscious decision to C/S it. I literally did not realize I was doing it until she walked in and I saw the pile of bread and crust I picked off my sandwich underneath plops of c/s'ed chips and lunch meat. I had to quickly hide my shame with a napkin. WTF...I'm not even usually a regular c/s'er. I mean...yeah sometimes but that's not my usual MO.
I don't know what my point is here. I'm sick of being uncomfortable. I've been logging my calories the past few days. I've been subbing meals with Quest bars. Today I unconsciously c/s'ed half my lunch. I panic whenever the idea of restricting pops into my head because I'm really trying to not....and then I end of eating something to "prove" to myself that I'm fine and healthy and normal....but FUCK IT I'm sick of fighting these thoughts. I'm sick of gaining weight. I'm sick of the GUILT.
Mostly this has stemmed from my boyfriend almost breaking up with me do to cocaine use...which was 75% from me not wanting to eat. So I decided to not be sneaky and just eat normal and not do coke. Be the "normal" girlfriend he's always wanted. Yeah right. I'm def not gonna do coke anymore because it was really ruining my life. But I can't keep up this charade of eating like a normal human. I'M SICK OF FEELING GUILTY FOR EATING. So yeah. Thanks for listening to me ramble about pointless things.
[Humor] Yesterday was a major binge day; this is how I ended it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 13:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uk2xl/yesterday_was_a_major_binge_day_this_is_how_i/
---
http://imgur.com/aVrSwu6
[Rant/Rave] Roommate bought a scale🙃
/u/loseitjen
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:50:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujxd9/roommate_bought_a_scale/
---
Have always avoided weighing myself because I hate seeing the numbers but my roommate had to go and buy a scale to put on our bathroom. Of COURSE I immediately get on and weigh exactly as much as I thought I did but part of me really wanted it be lower. Ughhhh I know I'm gonna have to weigh myself every time I go in there now whyyyyy
[Other] Side effect: Anorexia
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:26:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujrmy/side_effect_anorexia/
---
\*have bacterial infection from cold\*
\*Gets medicine\*
\*Checks side effects\*
\*side effects: "Anorexia"\*
\*Takes more\*
[Humor] When you don't wear a coat even though it's cold af outside so that you shiver and burn calories
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:25:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujra7/when_you_dont_wear_a_coat_even_though_its_cold_af/
---
Just ED things 😍😍💖💕
[Rant/Rave] I'm having a nervous breakdown lmfao
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:20:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujq43/im_having_a_nervous_breakdown_lmfao/
---
I can't decide whether to laugh or cry so I've just been sat in one place for like 9 hours. I haven't slept in 2 days. I impulsively spent close to $500 on a credit card that I already can't pay off. I gained 1.6 pounds overnight, I'm drowning in school and work, and I want to die. Literally took antidepressants just in the hope that I'd feel something different from how I feel right now.
Why do I even try so hard to lose weight? It won't fix who I am.
I reached another lowest weight!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 12:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujouh/i_reached_another_lowest_weight/
---
http://i.imgur.com/XraGXdq.jpg
[Other] Can you bloat in places other than your stomach?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:49:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujihg/can_you_bloat_in_places_other_than_your_stomach/
---
I'm ovulating and my legs seem a bit swollen. I couldn't have gained at my eating level, so I'm just wondering if anyone else has experience this.
[Discussion] anyone else find organizing/throwing away food calming?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ujd06/anyone_else_find_organizingthrowing_away_food/
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when i'm stressed or anxious, especially about weight or food stuff, i find that going through my cupboard and side of the fridge/freezer is really calming and grounding. throwing away food that's almost expired which i know i'm not gonna eat is so satisfying, especially when it's high-calorie. and there's something so satisfying about seeing how empty my part of the refrigerator and cupboard is compared to my roommate's. just getting rid of food feels therapeutic which doesn't really make sense since i don't have money and also have a lot of stress related to spending money on food but still....cleaning out those cupboards feels literally so satisfying. damn. nice.
[Discussion] At what point in your life were you the healthiest? At what point did you feel the best about yourself?
/u/antelsa [5'11" | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uj91o/at_what_point_in_your_life_were_you_the/
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For me, they were at the same time, when I was in my second year of high school. I played sports year round and have a very distinct memory of thinking to myself, "this is the best shape I've been in my whole life". I ate a ton but never thought too much about food. I miss it 😰
[Discussion] I can't stop taking my eating disorder as a joke because idk how to deal with mental health issues 😎😎😎
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 11:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uj607/i_cant_stop_taking_my_eating_disorder_as_a_joke/
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Does anybody else constantly make jokes about their ED to friends and expect them to laugh but they just look at you and frown
Because same
[Rant/Rave] I always wonder what it simply ~feels~ like to be lighter and it keeps me going.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 10:23:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uixvj/i_always_wonder_what_it_simply_feels_like_to_be/
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I know runners often say they run better when they've lost the extra weight. That makes sense. I was a swimming and canoe-er, so my weight never was directly felt.
But I was at a ninja course with my brother a few days ago. We climbed rock walls, did laser courses, ran through obstacle courses. I'm lucky enough to still have residual strength from sports and pulling my weight around isn't an issue. But I can feel my mass and it drove me insane.
My brother, on the other hand, is 90 pounds and insanely active and strong. He pulled his weight around like it was nothing. There were a few gymnastics girls there too and they just flew through the air.
I hate feeling big and weak. I feel like an oaf. I want to be petite and strong. I want someone to pick me up without me backing away.
I feel like such a sack of potatoes today.
[Humor] Life is like a box of sugarfree chocolate: sometimes it'll make you shit your pants.
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Fri Aug 18 10:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uis6y/life_is_like_a_box_of_sugarfree_chocolate/
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Walmart had 1lb boxes of assorted sugarfree chocolates on clearance for $2. I need some condolence cards for my panties, my toilet, and my colon.
[Help] family vacation: the nightmare of food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 10:00:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uirzj/family_vacation_the_nightmare_of_food/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I want to drive home to weigh myself
/u/PrincessSpice [177 | 123.6 | 17.4 |]
Created: Fri Aug 18 09:52:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uiq7z/i_want_to_drive_home_to_weigh_myself/
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I had a bad binge week for a few days and have been easing myself back to my regular eating habits. I weighed in this morning at 123.5 which is just where I was at this time last week. And that was before I used the bathroom, which I have now done twice while at work.
All I've had today was one cup of coffee and I'm seriously considering driving home (60 minutes round trip) to weigh myself. There is a gym nearby but what if the scales are different? I never get to weigh myself after using the bathroom as I never go before heading to work and it seems like I could maybe be hitting my low weight from January. Ugh. Ive seriously been thinking about keeping a scale at work because of how often I want to do this.
Like this is insane, I shouldn't leave work to weigh myself but thats all I can think about.
[Tip] Best low cal cookbook 😍
/u/posyposer [5'4 | 135 | 23.2 | -38 | f]
Created: Fri Aug 18 09:29:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uikie/best_low_cal_cookbook/
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So I was at the grocery store the other day (and exercised serious self control... no binge foods!) and I found a diet recipe magazine for intermittent fasting called the 5:2 starters guide. It's all kinds of low cal recipes for 500 calorie fasting days!! I thought you guys would appreciate it. Also just sharing this here because I don't want to double post but I get to update my flair today because I lost three lbs 🙃 I wanted to wait a few days to make sure it was for real but it is and I'm so excited!
[Help] What is the most accurate tdee calculator in your experience?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 95 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 09:10:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uig5b/what_is_the_most_accurate_tdee_calculator_in_your/
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I have no access to a desktop or PC so I can't use the spreadsheet one. My estimated tdee is 1360-1390 depending on if I use sedentary or slightly active.
I have a 25 lb baby that I carry in my arms several times a day and pick up to move when they are getting into stuff.
I'm on my feet or chasing the baby for a little bit a day, otherwise we play on the floor. Would yall consider this closer to sedentary or lightly active?
[Intro] Hello everyone!
/u/transmaybeidk [5'7" | CW220 | GW120 | SW240 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 18 08:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uicpq/hello_everyone/
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So, I don't know if I belong here, but I used to have my dream body....like 8 years ago. I've honestly been binging since then, and in the last few months it's gotten really bad. I mean, going out for second lunch and having 2,000 calories just for the second lunch. I just hate myself and what I was doing to myself. I stumbled upon this subreddit by clicking the 'Random' button trying to find new subreddits. And honestly, I've probably spent five hours on this subreddit the last two days (and viewed every single post on /r/proEDmemes). You all are the most friendly and helpful people I've ever seen on reddit! I don't know why I'm rambling, but I just wanted to say hi, and if I don't belong here, just let me know and I'll remove this post and go back to lurking!
[Intro] Too old for this
/u/strawberry-champagne [5'5" | CW: 146 | GW: 105 | -13 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 08:13:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ui32l/too_old_for_this/
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Hi, I made a new anonymous account to post on here. I struggled with anorexia a few times in my life, but it always came in waves, usually triggered by something bad happening in my life. First was after I was raped... Second was when I was in an abusive relationship... etc. And now it's happening again. But I'm at a point in my life where I should be happy. I'm getting married, I have a lot going for me. The only thing that really set me off was realizing how much weight I gained after a failed pregnancy. I gained 20 lbs in a short period of time that sent me to an "overweight" bmi. And now I'm like addicted to eating less than 600 calories a day and watching the scale drop 1-2 lbs a day. I'm worried I'm going to keep having these thoughts of needing to restrict and restrict and waste away to nothing and fuck up everything I have going for me right now. I feel so self destructive. I'm not even sure if this makes sense since my brain feels very cloudy. Sorry.
[Help] [rant/help] so I have the stupidest thing I need help with
/u/lovelylayout [5'6" | 152.8 lbs | -27.2lb | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:24:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhsan/ranthelp_so_i_have_the_stupidest_thing_i_need/
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Asking here because I know y'all won't judge me for being the way I am or tell me I'm overreacting or being crazy (even though I def feel crazy).
Sunday, my SO and I will be going to a Whole Foods salad bar for lunch. I've only been to WF once, and the salad bar looked full of possibilities, but intimidating. I need to be able to plan what I'm going to get before I go.
I've tried googling all kinds of things about it but the only results I can get are "how to spend less at the WF salad bar." (Lighter salad = less money. There, I wrote all your shitty articles for you.)
I can't even find any videos on Youtube that aren't twenty minutes of someone picking up leaves of kale one at a time while rambling off a bunch of nebulous pseudonutrition factoids.
**Could someone, like...walk me through what to expect at the Whole Foods salad bar?** Like, what do they always have? I know some things offered will be different from store to store, but I can't even find a list of the "basic" stuff that they always have. Where do I pay? When we were there last time, that section of the store (bakery/salad bar/deli maybe?) had like four cash registers and none of them seemed like they were "for" salad.
It's just *so* overwhelming and last time I almost started crying because it was so busy and there were so many people *everywhere* and it felt like every single one of them was looking at me because I clearly don't belong in Whole Foods because I look poor and lost and stupid. I just want to be able to walk in, go straight where I need to go, get what I need to get, and leave so I can limit that "everyone's judging me" feeling.
When I finally move away from my hometown I'm going to have a fucking breakdown trying to figure out a new grocery store. I feel silly.
[Discussion] August 18th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:23:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhs37/august_18th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your favorite piece of clothing?
[Help] Reliable calories burned calculator?
/u/CandidTriceratops
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:12:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhpse/reliable_calories_burned_calculator/
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Sorry I just posted yesterday, but I want to start slowly beginning to exercise by brisk walking 30-60 minutes a day. Anyone here have a reliable calculator that I can use to determine how much I'm burning? Preferably that takes into account weight and height. Every website gives me widely different numbers for 1 hour of 3.5mph walking (430, 260, 170, ect.) I don't know what to believe.
[Other] So I've found a new obsession to stop myself from binging lol
/u/sibr [5'4 | 162 | -15 | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 18 07:03:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhnye/so_ive_found_a_new_obsession_to_stop_myself_from/
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Every time I feel like pigging out (which is often these days, all thanks to PMS and eating "normally" for a few weeks) I take a pic of myself in underwear/workout gear and then edit it on the Facetune app to make myself look skinny. It takes me enough time to edit to perfection that the cravings are usually gone by the time I'm done, plus seeing myself actually skinny reminds me why I shouldn't be eating in the first place.
In other news I went on holiday for 3 weeks and despite feeling like I was eating crazy amounts, I only put on 3lbs and since Sunday I've dropped back down to my lowest weight since before the holiday. I'm hoping this means I actually lost weight on holiday since I feel like I'm losing a lot of water/bloat weight this week.
[Rant/Rave] This guy...
/u/flaaffyusedthunder
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhmcf/this_guy/
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This morning at the gym, I was doing some cable kickbacks, and just as I finished up one of my sets, this old fat guy came up to me. He spent ten minutes talking to me about what I should be doing to lose weight (basic stuff like calculating my bmr). He finished off by telling me that my metabolism was about to go to shit because I am turning 25 soon.
God. Fucking. Dammit.
I'm trying so fucking hard to recover. My dietician told me to get myself away from the mindset that I should be losing weight. Now, this happens.
I guess I am fat.
Time to not eat for a week.
Fuck.
[Me, as reference, NSFW because why not add some context ](https://imgur.com/a/p1udb).
[Goal] Finally below 124!
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW126 | 23.8 | GW95| F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:40:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhjg4/finally_below_124/
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I'm usually very disappointed when I step on the scale every morning and night. I focus on that number all day and when trying to go to sleep. It never seems to change.
I kept telling myself that if I really really tried for one day, the next morning I would notice a difference. So yesterday I really tried. My tattoo artist had a opening so I stayed in bed for most of the day. Had a small smoothie before going in at 12. I sat there getting new work done for about 6 hours. By the time I got home I was so exhausted. I had some peach juice and half a toasted bagel. I only started to notice how hungry I was when I was in bed trying to sleep.
This morning when I weighed myself I was finally at 123. So hopefully...if I can keep being proud of myself, today will be just as good.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:13:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uhes5/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for August 18, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 18 06:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uher8/daily_food_diary_august_18_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 18, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] DAE struggle with self-sabotage towards exercise?
/u/macklemorgue [5'3 | 110.2 | 19.3 | -13.2 | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 05:36:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uh8o2/dae_struggle_with_selfsabotage_towards_exercise/
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ok so I've been exercising moderately everyday these past few months and although it has been hard to get up at 6:50 every morning, I always found a way to push past that and get out the door to complete my morning run. Running also sets up my day for success, like if I'm not a lazy piece of shit then maybe I won't binge idk. Today, however, I just couldn't get out of bed bc I'm tired and leaving for college on Sunday so I'm sad and ik those are excuses. Furthermore, **I KNOW** that I'll beat myself up over it for the rest of the day and feel guilty, but I'm staying home anyways. When it comes to losing this weight I've only ever sabotaged myself with binges, so this is new and it'd be gr8 to know how some of y'all deal with this, thanks my guys.
[Thinspo] Close-up Thinspiration 8.18
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Fri Aug 18 04:32:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugz70/closeup_thinspiration_818/
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http://imgur.com/a/u8Dmm
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm lying all the time
/u/literheature
Created: Fri Aug 18 02:12:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uggrb/i_feel_like_im_lying_all_the_time/
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I'm so ashamed of my eating disorder. I'm ashamed of being pitifully insecure about my body, my personality, my intelligence; ashamed of being so *fixated* on this useless, unattainable image when I could be doing so much more valuable things with my time. I hate lying to my parents that I'm eating out with friends when, actually, I'm heading to the gym to burn off a binge. I hate telling them I've cried, because even that is more tolerable than them knowing my puffy eyes are from purging. I hate flaking on meet-ups and trips because of my food anxieties, I hate it when my people say "I want your body", I hate it when I'm alone on the floor of my bathroom staring into a toilet full of vomit wondering how the fuck did I get here. My friends and family think I'm a successful, got-it-all-together person when in reality, I'm too fucking great at lying. Who do I talk to about this monster inside my head? Who will believe me? I just want to be normal, normal, normal.
[Discussion] Which bmi scale do you guys use?
/u/coffee_forbreakfast
Created: Fri Aug 18 02:03:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugfm8/which_bmi_scale_do_you_guys_use/
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So I'm pretty tall (~5"8, possibly still growing) and my standard bmi puts me at 19 on the dot (the highest my bmi has ever been 😣), but the new one puts me at 18.8. I'm equal parts pleased and skeptical, which bmi chart do you guys tend to believe?
[Other] when u accidentally eat like 3x the amount of fiber u need in a day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 18 01:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugeh5/when_u_accidentally_eat_like_3x_the_amount_of/
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[deleted]
[Humor] Halo Top put out a great weekly meal plan!
/u/faebun [5'6 | 125.6lb | 20.35 | -38.8 | NB]
Created: Fri Aug 18 01:35:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ugbw1/halo_top_put_out_a_great_weekly_meal_plan/
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https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/36/54/41/365441f608397d494ed39c19f1b4a344.jpg
[Other] Willkommen in Deutschland
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Fri Aug 18 00:20:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ug1k5/willkommen_in_deutschland/
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First day in Germany. I'm staying with a host family. I scoured the washroom.
No scale.
And so much food without nutrition information. I suppose it's a good thing (it's less processed, à la a bakery around the corner), but still.
You guys get it.
All I can rely on is the fact I'm in someone else's house, so it would feel too weird and faux pas-y and asshole-ish to binge. 🤞
Also everyone in this family (it feels like everyone in this town) is skinnier than me, so at least I get a reminder every single day of my crippling self-loathing and doubt! 🙃
Here's to a better year than the last one! 🍻
Update: There is a food scale. Not all is lost!
Embarrassing and annoying bathroom purging situation
/u/kkakkakkiii
Created: Fri Aug 18 00:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ug1eg/embarrassing_and_annoying_bathroom_purging/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm not like other people and I can't do this anymore.
/u/iwanttoblowaway [5'9 | 124 | 17.9 | 21]
Created: Thu Aug 17 23:41:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufvvv/i_feel_like_im_not_like_other_people_and_i_cant/
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I haven't posted in a while and this isn't necessarily eating related but I'm high and need to get this off my chest. This might get hella long but I'm just very unhappy right now and I really have to vent I'm sorry. This is probably gonna get way too long so don't feel like you have to read the whole thing. That might take all night.
All my life, I've felt like I wasn't like other people. I don't know why, I just see happy people living normal lives and feel like that's not me and will never be. And I feel so shitty for feeling like this because I know there are people with *real* problems and mine aren't those. My parents pay for my car and my apartment and my school and all of my shit. I'm not in debt up to my ass. I'm in nice clean clothes every day. I've never been sick or overweight. I've never spent a day without anything I actually need to live or even live comfortably honestly. But still, for whatever reason, I don't feel like I'm worth as much as other people, if that makes sense. Like today, I went to target to buy some stuff for my new apartment and it was packed and there were people my age everywhere and I just wanted to not be there so nobody would see me. I don't really have any idea if i'm even attractive or not. People have told me I am, sometimes I look in the mirror and feel like I might be, but most of the time I feel mediocre at best. So I smoke, and I drink a lot, and I take whatever pills I can get my hands on. I'm not like a drug addict or an alcoholic. I can get done what needs to get done. It's usually only at nights that I feel this bad. If I'm busy during the day I'm usually okay.
And I haven't even been sleeping lately. I either fall asleep relatively quickly and then wake up at 4 am to a nightmare and can't fall back asleep or I can't fall asleep until 4am. I'm fucking exhausted all the time I feel like I'm about to implode. My anxiety is through the roof right now and I swear it's because I'm not sleeping well.
And the other shitty thing is that I literally can't talk to anyone about this. All of my friends think I'm the most outgoing, happy person they know because at parties and bars and stuff, I can be - but only if I'm not sober. And I'm rarely sober in social situations. It's honestly even like a punchline at social events in my circle. If I'm not intoxicated, people notice. And I don't want to be that lovable shitshow either but that's what I feel like I am to my friends. *That* friend who's off radar during dinner, shows up and gets drunk within 15 minutes and get's into drunk adventures and wants to stay out until the sun comes up. I feel like that's not really me but honestly, I don't even know who I am at this point. At least most people who think they know me like me. I just don't feel like if anybody really saw me that they'd still like me because I don't feel like I really have anything to offer anyone that they couldn't get easily get +more from almost anyone else. Like I'm pretty good at my major (good enough for some people in my program to be jealous of my work) but that's literally it. I've played piano for years and I've been mediocre at it, same with guitar, I don't sing. I can't talk to people I'm not comfortable around. I've never had a real relationship because I've never let myself get to that point with anyone and I'm not delusional-its all my fault. I'm afraid if I let someone in like that they'll realize who I am and say fuck it and leave. So I just push people away or scare them off. And even if I could change that, at this point I have no idea what to do after the first few dates and like I'm 21, people just expect you to know how this shit works by this point. I'm afraid I'll die alone, and I'm afraid as soon as this little bubble called college ends I'll be fucked because I don't think I'm capable of making new friends and starting from scratch all over again. I don't even know how to make friends. I have a pretty big social circle right now but I seriously just fell into it.
And like at the lake the other day with my close friend group I made a comment about needing to drink less because i'm getting fat and everyone told me to shut up and that I needed to eat more and that I looked anorexic. But it's true in April I had abs and now after sitting in an office at an internship all summer I'm like skinny-flab. I'm soft and it doesnt look good. At least not on me. And one of them said "How do you possibly even think that? You don't even eat when we go out. You get like a salad and pick at if for a while and then say you're full when everyone else is done eating." But I don't think I'm that bad. Like I know that some people here are actually very sick and I don't want to take anything away from them. I have a low BMI and don't eat as much as other people but my hair isn't falling out and I'm not fainting. Most of the time I feel like I'm fine. I mean I know I don't have the healthiest attitude towards eating and that's why I'm here. It feels relatable. But I just don't eat because if I do, I gain weight. I can't maintain weight. I either start to lose weight and people start telling me I'm too skinny, or I eat a little more and exercise a little less so that people won't tell me that and I start to gain weight. I'm 124 right now but I'll probably either be at 120 or 130 by mid September and I don't understand why.
I want my abs back and I want people to stop telling me I should eat more and I want to feel like I fit in with the world and am worthy of everything it has to offer. Because I feel like it can be a great place - for some people. And I feel like it should be for me, I have everything most people could ever want material wise and probably friend wise and family wise too. And I want to feel like my friends actually care about me, and aren't just entertained by me. And I've been to so many different therapists but I have a really hard time opening up to anyone in person, even my favorite therapists I've had and so I have a hard time vocalizing what I'm actually struggling with, and half the time I can't even remember what Im upset about when I'm there so they think I'm fine. It's like I'm so used to acting like everything is perfect that I can't even be honest with a doctor.
I guess I'm done because my computer is about to die and my charger is in my backpack outside in my car and hands hurt and I don't want to waste any more of anybody who actually feels like reading any of thats time
[Help] How to deflect comments from other people about my eating habits?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 17 23:09:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufqpo/how_to_deflect_comments_from_other_people_about/
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I live in my sorority house and now that we are all back at school living together again, it means everyone is eating meals together and it's harder for me to hide my habits.
It also doesn't help that this summer I really spiraled negatively. I eat less frequently, I only eat safe foods which are usually raw fruits and veggies, I never eat full meals, and I drink coffee like no other. I have also lost a noticeable amount of weight while we were all away from each other at home for summer (~7-8 lbs)
So far I have received more than 10 comments about my daily eating habits and schedule, and we have only been back for a week:(
How can I keep them from suspecting I have an ED? or atleast how can I make it seem like I eat more than I do.
Thanks!!!💗
[Help] What excuses do you have for when people start asking questions?
/u/multicolour-squirrel [5'8 |150lbs|-15lbs|GW:132|25F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:58:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufowm/what_excuses_do_you_have_for_when_people_start/
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I work with a bunch of people who are weight and diet obsessed but never lose weight (some different fad each week) and I am running out of excuses for when people ask why I am not eating lunch. I have a few I use, such as going to the parents' for dinner, don't want to buy food, not hungry/feeling nauseous. It is at the point where I am thinking I just have to go sit in my car to avoid eating. What do you guys say when people start asking questions?
[Help] Maybe not the place, But I need a friend.
/u/plutocity
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:39:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uflyn/maybe_not_the_place_but_i_need_a_friend/
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I don't know what to say, this isn't exactly relevant to my eating habits but I don't have any friends and I am feeling really low, you guys are the most relatable people in my life. I am a 20 year old female. I am moving towns and leaving behind the house I called home for nearly a decade to live in a cramped apartment with my family, we are not very close to begin with so I can only imagine how it will be in a closed space.
The stress is unbearable and I guess for eating habits that's good, because my mind is kept away from food. but not having anyone to talk to is getting to me and I know it will only be worse when I am alone in my room for days. I guess really, I need people I can talk to and relate to, especially people who understand and don't judge disordered eating.
[Rant/Rave] just a rant about feeling really bleak right now
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:25:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufjk7/just_a_rant_about_feeling_really_bleak_right_now/
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*sorry this rant is about body image and probably really triggering so yeah ugh i'm sorry i just need to write it down
i'm gonna be alone almost all weekend which i haven't done all summer, and i'd planned to restrict starting a few days ago but i've already eaten probably 900 calories today. i'm so uncomfortable in my body right now—i've gained ~3 pounds since the beginning of the summer and it's increasingly noticeable to me. i can feel body fat on my stomach and sides and can actually grab it from my sides which feels soooo disgusting and triggering. i think i'm hungry but maybe i'm just bored, i'm disgusted by how much i've eaten today and how much i've failed at restricting. i'm wearing my baggiest sweatshirt and pajama pants and it's so hot and i feel like i've been having a panic attack all day. i genuinely can't tell if i'm thin or not; i look in the mirror and all i see are flaws. how am i going to lose weight when i keep eating whenever i'm hungry? being underweight felt so perfect, i have to get back to that feeling. fuck, you guys, i feel so alone right now and the idea of being alone all weekend is making me freak out even more.
[Rant/Rave] feelin really bleak right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufjfe/feelin_really_bleak_right_now/
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[deleted]
[Help] Lanuga (fine peach fuzzy hair growth) Experience?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 160.6 | -9.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 22:00:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uffc6/lanuga_fine_peach_fuzzy_hair_growth_experience/
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*Lanugo
I have been high restriction, often 1200-1800 (my TDEE), most days eating at the upper end of that rather than lower, however I have been in this restriction cycle for almost a month with only one or two "big" binges of a few thousand calories. My diet is mostly pasta and meats with a multivitamin. Could that be enough for me to start growing lanugo? I just noticed light fuzz hair between my breasts that I don't think(?) I remember being there before and when I pinched some of it, it came right off in my fingers with no resistance or pain. **Should I even be pulling this out? Is there a chance it will come in darker like armpit hair or something? And has anyone gotten rid of this or just has this all the time (not related to an ED)?
This is the first actual negative manifestation I've had, and I've lost 9.4lbs in just over 3 weeks. Of course this would all be too good to be true.
[Help] About to lose my Adderall prescription because of weight loss :(
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Thu Aug 17 21:41:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufbvt/about_to_lose_my_adderall_prescription_because_of/
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I need adderall to perform well in school :( I've tried other medicines and vyvanse/adderall are the only ones that work well enough (I am on a high dose). However they're very concerned about my weight loss and next month I'm not gonna get a prescription again if it doesn't go up. What do I do?
Idk how to change flair on mobile but I'm 5'8" & started at 136 lbs, now I am 115 lbs.
[Other] Crippling anxiety and depression? $100 appointment. Celexa? $10 prescription. Debilitating nausea and vomiting from side effects?
/u/Scooter_Boots [5'4.5" | CW Magnificent Land Whale | GW 115 | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 21:40:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufbmx/crippling_anxiety_and_depression_100_appointment/
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Priceless.
Bahahahaha I'm dead inside. But no appetite is no appetite! See ya later 10-20 lbs!
[Rant/Rave] I have a date Monday!
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 131.8 | 20.19 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 21:31:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ufa0u/i_have_a_date_monday/
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I haven't been on a first date in years (recently gotten out of a long term relationship). I told myself I would swear off any serious relationships till after college, but I met this guy of tinder and man he is so sweet and kind and cute and funny and easy to talk to. We go to the same college and apparently even went to the same religious school! He was just a few grades ahead so we didn't meet, but he also grew up in the same neighborhood as my childhood best friend. Idk it's just a small world and I'm happy and not even super nervous about meeting him (new thing for social anxiety?!!) and he's super complimentary so I'm not AS self conscious lol.
I don't have a lot of close friends in my life right now or anyone I'd tell this kind of thing to but I'm just excited and fluttery and wanted to share. My anxiety pops up about it here and there, kinda because I still kinda definitely love my ex, kinda because even though this new guy and I are on the same terms that it should be causal I'm scared to get so close to someone again. I have to focus on myself and school and can't get distracted more than I already am with my ex 😂
Anyway! At first we were gonna do dinner but then I was like but wait wanna meet in the morning and get coffee? And he said I was worth waking up early for :) so woohoo I'll get a tea or something and not have to worry about eating in front of him yet!!
[Discussion] Are you supposed to exhale when you measure your waist?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 20:19:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uewel/are_you_supposed_to_exhale_when_you_measure_your/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Probably the 1000th post titled "FUCK SCALES"
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 20:12:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uev1f/probably_the_1000th_post_titled_fuck_scales/
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But seriously. Fuck scales. In my unintentional recovery days, I just knew I should never own one. I did alright without one. Well, I got kinda fat. Maxed out at 180. I only knew that because of the doctor.
Boyfriend needed to start losing weight so we got a shitty scale. Well it was shit. I didn't trust it. So we got another scale. I am on and off that damn thing 4-5 times just to check it. Grab a 10lb weight, check it. Check it again. Do that 4-5 times a day. Then if it's a day I lost, I'll grab the shitty scale and do the same thing.
This morning I weighed right when I woke up like I always do. 122. Woo-hoo. I don't take it seriously. Even weight loss can't make me happy. Never enough! Only drank coffee and had a rice cake today. Got home, weighed myself. Little heavier. No big deal.
Go to the walk in clinic for an injury. Actually excited to get weighed. 124. Why has that little changed just destroyed me? My logical brain has gone through the whole reasoning process. But I'm stuck on that stupid number.
They put me on some strong anti-inflammatories that I was told to take 3x daily w/ food. My boyfriend starts nodding and nudging me. I flicked him off hahaha. He's an ass.
But that makes it worse. Meds absolutely make me nauseous but I might just deal with that for the next 3 days.
How did I wind up in this hole so quickly?
My life was so different 3 months ago. Different coping mechanisms, different problems, kinda shitty still... But at least I wasn't fixated on one godamn insignificant number.
[Rant/Rave] "If you don't eat this then it's going to go to waste"
/u/CandidTriceratops
Created: Thu Aug 17 20:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uetld/if_you_dont_eat_this_then_its_going_to_go_to_waste/
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My boyfriend grabbed some food out (falafels) and ate 5/6 before he decided that he hated them.
He then told me (in an angry voice) that if I didn't eat them then they would go to waste. I ended up eating them out of guilt because we are poor and this was an expensive treat but now I feel even more guilty.
Does it still count as waste if I purged them? 😡
[Intro] I'm doing this because I'm unhappy where I'm at in life
/u/lilbbrose
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:45:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ueptb/im_doing_this_because_im_unhappy_where_im_at_in/
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This is my first post on here so please be kind.
I started binge drinking and binge eating for the past year because I feel like I'm stuck in my life right now. I'm not going anywhere with my art, I've been in the same dead end job for two years, and I'm unhappy in my relationship and where I live. Drinking and eating was my only pleasure and comfort.
I started out at 110 lbs and blew up to 135, and now I'm at 126. I feel so lost and lonely in my life right now and restricting my eating is the only thing I have going on right now. It's my only focus, and gives me purpose.
I'm so lost and depressed. I stopped drinking beer because, ya know, calories.... but I need something to take the edge off and to feel cheerful again
This is the most honest with myself that I've been for a while.... feels weird
[Other] Thanks to this AMAZING community, I met someone from this sub at college today!!!!
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ like 155 idk ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uendz/thanks_to_this_amazing_community_i_met_someone/
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https://imgur.com/CT0cGff
Pretty excited about this blanket I made for my daughter
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uel6v/pretty_excited_about_this_blanket_i_made_for_my/
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https://i.redd.it/n65a5mzieegz.jpg
[Discussion] Any low calorie vegetarian friendly soups you guys have enjoyed?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Thu Aug 17 19:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uek6v/any_low_calorie_vegetarian_friendly_soups_you/
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[Rant/Rave] Short Happy Post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:44:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uedu0/short_happy_post/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i want to stop disordered eating but don't want to gain weight lolllll
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:42:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uedjf/i_want_to_stop_disordered_eating_but_dont_want_to/
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[deleted]
[Humor] “but beauty is temporary!”
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:42:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uedfv/but_beauty_is_temporary/
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Exactly. That’s why I’m so desperate to get there before my time is up
[Discussion] Is anybody else kind of happy summer is almost over?
/u/CannonEyes
Created: Thu Aug 17 18:34:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uebxu/is_anybody_else_kind_of_happy_summer_is_almost/
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So many less social events that I have to stress about what I am going to eat/drink there. Just had this thought and had nobody to share it with irl.
[Discussion] How am I supposed to measure my forearms?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 17:45:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ue1he/how_am_i_supposed_to_measure_my_forearms/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Trader Joe's Recommendations
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 17:27:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6udxqz/trader_joes_recommendations/
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I just got a Trader Joe's near my house and I know it's a favorite grocery chain of people here, so what do you buy when you go?
[Humor] Currently laying in bed, dying
/u/NaejNire [5'9 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 17:18:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6udvtt/currently_laying_in_bed_dying/
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I have a killer stomach ache, body pains all over, chills, diarrhea, feel like I'll puke any second.. I probably caught a bug or ate something bad.
Even in this misery though, I'm STOKED for how much (water) weight this will make me lose. Like, it might be worth it in my sick twisted head!
[Other] Weird fuzzy tone in ears? Not sure if ED related?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 17 16:10:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6udgp3/weird_fuzzy_tone_in_ears_not_sure_if_ed_related/
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Hey /r/PROED
I love you guys and if I dont have you already on peach, add me! @ goldpetals
Now I am not sure if this is ED related, but sometimes I get a weird fuzzy, light "buzz" in my ears - almost like there is a soft and very low volume of static. Usually happens after I move around too quickly. and sometimes accompanied with blurry vision.
Anyone?
[Rant/Rave] Just ordered new scrubs and they're already too big.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 15:29:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ud73c/just_ordered_new_scrubs_and_theyre_already_too_big/
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On the one hand, I'm pissed, because I just spent like $120 on nice, new non-refundable scrubs in a size I was literally just last week.
On the other hand, that means I've lost an entire scrub size in a week, so that's a nice feeling.
Now I have to figure out what to do with all these freaking scrubs, though.
[Discussion] [Discussion] Diagnostic criteria question
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 15:27:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ud6nc/discussion_diagnostic_criteria_question/
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In the DSM-IV and ICD-10, part of the criteria for anorexia is "weight less than 85% of what is considered normal for that person’s age and height". I think in the DSM-V it was amended to "weight significant less that what is considered normal". My question is what does normal mean in this context? Is it 85% of a BMI 20 (the middle of a healthy range) or of the underweight cutoff? Does anyone know?
[Rant/Rave] destroying relationships because of ED competition?
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 15:17:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ud4b8/destroying_relationships_because_of_ed_competition/
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tw: self-harm
Home sick. Can't exercise.
On the same day that I tell my buddy that I'm struggling with a binge cycle including food-hoarding, compulsively buying binge food, the whole shebang--
--she tells me she's doing a "crash diet" and "hasn't eaten today."
We've been close friends for four years--through wicked mental health struggles for both of us. She was the first one to beg me to get help when I was restricting hard.
I'm tempted to cut her off cold because anyone who's successfully fasting has to see me as subhuman shit, right?
Why the fuck am I like this?
Having suicidal thoughts again; tried to get in with the clinic, but their hours don't fit my work schedule; having compulsive thoughts about castrating myself with my shaving razors. Walked into the bathroom, dropped trou, and picked up a razor before putting it down and backing away. Feel like I deserve it for being a fucking food monster with no self-control.
Please tag rant/rave.
How long do you wait to purge???
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Thu Aug 17 14:57:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uczav/how_long_do_you_wait_to_purge/
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[removed]
My wedding is in 43 days, I am so stressed and can't stop binging
/u/elttil_snatas
Created: Thu Aug 17 14:40:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ucvd9/my_wedding_is_in_43_days_i_am_so_stressed_and/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm right at the high-risk point in my week so decided to make a post about my story involving binge eating
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Thu Aug 17 14:01:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ucloz/im_right_at_the_highrisk_point_in_my_week_so/
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http://imgur.com/a/TAeRS
[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck is everyone at my school so skinny?
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Thu Aug 17 13:32:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ucerz/why_the_fuck_is_everyone_at_my_school_so_skinny/
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It might be because I see myself at a different angle but a lot of people's forearms and stuff seem way smaller than mine even though I'm already pretty skinny I think. This is really pissing me off and makes me feel really insecure
[Rant/Rave] I didn't binge!
/u/SomethingsGottaHave
Created: Thu Aug 17 13:06:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uc883/i_didnt_binge/
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Hi all!
Nobody else would know how good this would feel and I really just wanted to share this even though it seems kinda small to a more "healthy" person.
Last night I had a really hard time fighting a binge. I was already over my personal calorie goal but still at a reasonable restriction of 1000 calories. Even as I was falling asleep I still kept thinking about what foods I could eat. Both my stomach and my brain were screaming at me to eat everything as I was trying to fall asleep.
Well I did it. I woke up the next morning fine and proud of myself for not giving in. This the first time in a very very long time I didn't give into these binge monster when I really really wanted to. Especially since yesterday was very stressful and frustrating.
I just really wanted to share this with people that would understand haha.
[Discussion] What are your "defining" moments?
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 11:23:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ubicv/what_are_your_defining_moments/
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I'm talking like the Big Ones you tell your therapist like this event probably made me this way. For me, one of them is when I was in fourth grade and this bully drew all over my yearbook picture in my yearbooks like basically just scribble my face out in my own 45$ book. His mom was the PTA mom and she took me aside and said you better not cry about this maybe he just has a crush on you, be better at holding in your emotions. Now I can't express anything, not saying it's her fault but it contributed.
Anotha one (more ed related this time)
The older guy (17 maybe?) told 11 yo me in a gym that I was way fatter than him. That was the first time I've ever consciously made the choice "I am eating less because I don't deserve to eat more" .
I know this isn't all ed related but I love u guys the best blah blah we know 🤗
[Rant/Rave] Getting weighed today =))))
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Thu Aug 17 10:17:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ub1yv/getting_weighed_today/
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One scale at home says I'm 120 and the other says I'm 130 and I'm going to the doctor's today and I'm dreading the reality check because I feel like I'm closer to 130 but at least after this I'll have a better sense of my true weight when I use my home scales, you know?
[Rant/Rave] ughhh fucking shit this is frustrating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 17 10:00:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uaxlg/ughhh_fucking_shit_this_is_frustrating/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just realized something
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 17 09:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uanzd/i_just_realized_something/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Some goals for us!
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 09:19:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6uanku/some_goals_for_us/
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http://www.online-education.co/weight-chart-woman/
[Goal] I can finally see my collarbones
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 113.6 | - 7.6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:48:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ua2k0/i_can_finally_see_my_collarbones/
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Nobody really needs to comment, but I'm excited. I can finally see my collarbone in my shoulders. I'm down about 9 pounds now (I need to update my flair) and I physically feel lighter and smaller. My clothes are more comfortable. I'm in a good mood today. I look in the mirror sometimes and think "I look sick" but then the other side of my brain snaps in and it's like "Sick? you look GREAT." What a battle.
P.s. as usual, mobile... no flair option.
[Rant/Rave] I'm angry at myself
/u/mild-rose [5'11 | 122 |17.50 |not enough | f]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:48:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ua2ey/im_angry_at_myself/
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I couldn't stop binging for two months. Two freaking months. And now I have to start college looking like a whale.
And after how hard I fucking pushed myself to get to 120? It was that easy to ruin it??
Argh.
[Discussion] Anyone else setting weekly calorie limits rather than daily?
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ua1w7/anyone_else_setting_weekly_calorie_limits_rather/
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It's probably more common than I think but I only just started changing my limits from daily to weekly. I find this gives me more space if I mess up slightly and is also good for when I have a fast day and can add extra calories throughout the week if I want.
Obviously it has its downsides as it's easier to embody the 'make up for it tomorrow' mentality. Also, seeing that HUGE number of weekly calories gives me a slight panic attack. On the other hand I don't feel as much of a pig when I go over by 50 calories in a day and it's easier when I have to go off my plan before working out or when I'm with people.
Do any of you do this?
[Rant/Rave] I got fat again (except I didn't)
/u/agentcherrycola
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:32:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9z32/i_got_fat_again_except_i_didnt/
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I've been trying to adopt some healthier eating habits like eating 3 times a day instead of fasting and then bingeing on carbs at 9pm. I also went on holiday with my family in Italy and ate Italian-style 4 course meals every evening. When I got home, I was feeling pretty ok with myself (had been able to wear a bikini without feeling like a whale and had got a tan for the first time in 5 years) so I got on the scale for the first time in a few weeks (another think I'd been trying to cut back on). I'd gained 6lbs. But, I told myself it was fine and probably just water weight and maybe a little bit of constipation. 2 weeks later and all of my good habits have gone. I'm fasting all day and then bingeing when I get home from work. Sometimes I break half way through the day and eat 3 chocolate bars in my lunch break. My daily cals are under 1500 always and I haven't lost a pound despite being 5'11". I can feel my stomach rolls getting bigger when I sit down but somehow that doesn't put me off the carby binges and only makes me feel more shit. I'd thought I was improving, if only slightly, but I guess this just goes to show that making yourself go through the actions of being healthy doesn't mean you're getting any better. I'm not even very fat - right now I'm 137 which puts my bmi at 19.1, whereas before I had got to 132 at my lowest putting me at 18.3. That's not even a whole bmi point's difference and yet now I can't bear to look at my body when I shower.
[Humor] Ah yes. My old friend.
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 11st 11 | 28.3 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:03:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9t1r/ah_yes_my_old_friend/
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https://i.redd.it/22qshvuvqagz.jpg
[Discussion] Skipping breakfast before the most important test of my life?
/u/nottheexpert836
Created: Thu Aug 17 07:01:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9shk/skipping_breakfast_before_the_most_important_test/
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Hey guys! So I've been doing IF for about a year. It's a pretty loose IF, basically I don't eat until 12:30-1 and then cut out eating after 9.
Coming up in September, however, is my LSAT (law school admission test). I've been studying for it all summer, non stop. The problem is that I have to take it at 8:30 am. I want to be on my game, without ANY factors holding me back or distracting me.
Do you think it's a good idea to have a light breakfast that day, like scrambled eggs with cheese and yogurt? And if so, I guess I should start that routine 2-3 weeks before the exam so my body is used to it and doesn't get sluggish as a result?
Any thoughts are appreciated! :)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 17 06:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9jb0/weekly_emotional_support_august_17_2017/
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We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 17 06:10:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9j5k/daily_food_diary_august_17_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for August 17, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Dysmorphiaaa
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | 👽]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:48:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u9f9r/dysmorphiaaa/
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I literally have abs, and I think they make me look fat. Is that even possible? Why am I like this??
Someone please help me out. Is it even possible to have visible abs and a thigh gap and still be fat? Am I the first? UGH
[Rant/Rave] I'm a goddamned pig
/u/Ire_of_suburbia [5'4" | 85lbs | 14,6 | -53 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:06:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u98nb/im_a_goddamned_pig/
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I'm losing my fucking thigh gap. I can't stop binging. I can't stop being lazy. I'm so fucking tired of putting up with my bullshit. Why don't I have the fucking willpower to restrict anymore? I've only gained a couple pounds, if I just quit being a whiny bitch and got my shit together I could lose them quickly and then go back to maintaining a weight I'm comfortable with BUT NO! I just HAVE to rationalize eating (if I don't eat enough then I'll get lazy as fuck and burn even less than I ate!!!11!1) and convince myself that it's all water and one of these mornings I'll have a wonderful woosh and find out I didn't gain anything at all AHAHAH YEAH SURE YOU IDIOT, KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. WHY DON'T YOU GET STARTED WRITING YOUR FUCKING WISHLIST FOR SANTA WHILE YOU'RE AT IT? HE'S JUST AS REAL AS THAT WOOSH YOU'RE WAITING FOR AND THE CALORIES YOU ARE "GOING TO BURN".
Whew. Sorry, just had to let that out.
So... is anybody willing to come duct-tape my mouth shut and make sure it stays that way for a couple days until I've reached enough of a calorie deficit to be back at a decent weight? That's probably the only thing that would work right now :) :) :) (woah I've never used passive-aggressive smileys as often as I'm doing these past couple weeks)
[Help] 52kg one minute, 54kg the next??
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:05:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u98ga/52kg_one_minute_54kg_the_next/
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[removed]
[Discussion] August 17th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Thu Aug 17 05:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u97qu/august_17th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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If you had to spend five years in prison, what would you finally have the chance to do?
- I'd like to add that I'm so happy with the responses to these questions! It's great that we're able to open up to each other about things unrelated to our EDs. ❤️
[Help] Losing fat too quickly = loose skin? Has anyone in the higher range of "healthy" (25% body fat) experienced this?
/u/Harpieharper [5'1" | 121.6 | -42lbs | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 04:15:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u90yx/losing_fat_too_quickly_loose_skin_has_anyone_in/
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[removed]
[Humor] a guide to binging on grilled cheese
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 17 02:38:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8ny2/a_guide_to_binging_on_grilled_cheese/
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INGREDIENTS
*Butter:* this represents how much self-hatred you have, so don't be stingy with it. The key is to use inappropriate amounts of it
*Bread:* we're not here to think rationally, just use as many slices as it will take to make your stomach physically hurt. It's like self-harm, but with carbs
*Cheese:* this represents all the guilt pre-binge, during the binge, and after the binge. It creates a decadent taste of depravity when mixed with all the self-hatred butter
THE PROCESS
make sure it is past 12 AM but no more than 4 AM. This is the Extreme Binge Period. It is vital to do during this period of time.
Just fukcing eat 4 of these in a span of 20 minutes.
Voila. You have completed your binge that will throw you even deeper into the abyss that is disordered eating.
Vora?
/u/ToeingTheLine2333
Created: Thu Aug 17 01:58:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8itp/vora/
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[removed]
[Help] Two week plateau
/u/fatbatch
Created: Thu Aug 17 01:13:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8cs9/two_week_plateau/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] i can't tell if i'm happy or panicking
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 125 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:37:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u87ki/rantrave_i_cant_tell_if_im_happy_or_panicking/
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so i'm moving on friday to another state and i'll be ten hours away. my friends threw me a bonfire and i figured there would be booze so i didn't eat anything all day. i know alcohol has a ton of calories so i didn't eat to save all of my calories. well all the drinks i had also had mountain dew or lemonade or something like that. i still doubt i had over 600 calories but i got totally wasted. i'm freaking out because i have no idea how many calories i had but i'm also happy because i felt really loved surrounded by all my friends, plus being drunk makes me happy lmao. idk i just needed to rant a little bit
p.s. i'm sorry if there are any typos, i'm still drunk. i can type pretty decently when drunk but i usually think i typed perfectly and then look when i'm sober and realized i made a bunch of mistakes 😂
[Help] I'm in a....... crappy situation.
/u/SomeoneYouDoNotKnow_
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u8611/im_in_a_crappy_situation/
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Throwaway because,,,, uh yeah.
I'm in a bit of a shitty situation. I've been constipated for about a week or two. Everything hurts. I've been bingeing and restricting on and off and it's been a wild ride,,,, Thought I would turn to y'all because no one knows more about poop than r/proED
So, anything to help me?
[Discussion] What can you do to deal with late night hunger pangs when excessive water drinking disturbs your sleep?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:19:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u84qu/what_can_you_do_to_deal_with_late_night_hunger/
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Recovering binge eater here.
I know water is the best option. I spend 45 minutes in my car googling zero calorie snacks. I had hunger pangs but also felt i needed something sweet for some reason. Looked up sugar free gummies for example.
This is my 5th binge-free day and i usually fuck up right about now.
I ended up negotiating with myself and said i could have two 90 cal cinnamon bun flavor fiber brownies and a bunch of water. But this was playing with fire because i have binged many times on protein and fiber treats. Honestly took a risk buying so much food today but was with family at the time snd sometimes the confidence of a few binge-free days makes me forget what i am succeptsble to. It seems to have done the trick for the night though.
But what is your way of dealing with it?
I've never been able to keep up restricting or dieting for very long without binging. I'm having the strongest stand ever against it because....well, this is sad...but it's become my new life goal to overcome this and lose weight and finally escape this nightmare of weight fluctuation. I'm in this for the long haul. I want to work on healthy eating behaviors but also get to my goal weight and just be the fit, strong guy i've always felt i was deep down, while letting my ED take the wheel for too much of my life.
So I'm looking for any tips and tricks that can help me along the way because I am done failing myself.
[Other] Hit a new goal weight so I'm treating myself to one of my favourite soups for lunch! :)
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57.1kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 17 00:01:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u823w/hit_a_new_goal_weight_so_im_treating_myself_to/
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https://i.redd.it/mjmf2onln8gz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE get really bad cramps?
/u/PrettyGirlsDontEat
Created: Wed Aug 16 23:40:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7yxt/dae_get_really_bad_cramps/
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I'm sure most people that restrict get cramps. Like I get this one specific cramp on the right side of my belly, but it's not terrible. Just a cramp. I'm talking like on the ground in pain cramps. I don't frequently get these but when I do oh boy does it suck. I get some legendary calf cramps that instantly floor me. Often it happens when I'm sleeping and I literally end up off my bed on the ground for what seems like forever (I honestly have no clue how I end up off the bed). If it happens when I'm awake I can feel my leg wanting to cramp. It's asking me to flex my calf muscles. Like it's telling me "hey this is gonna happen and it'll hurt." I drink a decent amount of fluids but sometimes it seems like it's never enough. Anyway just wondering if this happens to anyone else or if maybe my body is just weird.
[Discussion] Calories in coffee?
/u/CandidTriceratops
Created: Wed Aug 16 22:51:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7r18/calories_in_coffee/
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Sorry I'm not a huge coffee drinker, I enjoy the taste but I've never been bothered. I've heard it's a good appetite suppressant though and I would like to try drinking it more often.
We have a good coffee machine here and my boyfriend's mom gets free ground beans from work so we have 3 bags but none of them have a nutrition label anywhere which is weird because Canada is very strict about that; all restaurants and fast food places must display nutrition in large print. We currently have two starbucks brand beans and one other brand dark roast, would a cup be safe to log as 0 or 5 calories if I'm only using calorie free sweetener? Also how well will it work to supress appetite? Normally I don't get very hungry until later in the day anyways but if I could coffee fast then I wouldn't feel so urged to eat everything on the first night.
[Discussion] I'm losing my best friend and hate everything [discussion]
/u/waxycat1994
Created: Wed Aug 16 22:09:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7jz9/im_losing_my_best_friend_and_hate_everything/
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Any advice or opinions or similar stories are welcome.
I got married about half a year ago and everyone called me bridezilla which just makes me more sad... I tried my hardest not to boss people around but if anyone sees weakness they decide their wedding planning way is the best. My best friend was my maid of honor and after the wedding she stopped talking with me for five months. We finally had a long exchange over text where she forgave me for the mistakes I made as a friend during my wedding season. We hung out once since then. I have asked her countless times if she wanted to do something and every time she comes up with an excuse to ignore me for days at a time until the date is long gone. The ONE TIME she let me come over, it was karaoke night so all she did was run around with her other friends and ignored me all night. I'm just so mad and hurt.
All I want to do is binge and then get it out of my body but I'm a singer so I can't vomit it up. I just sit here feeling disgusting feeling like I'm not worth a friendship and I should just thrive as the fat sack of shit that I am. God help me.
[Goal] 👏🏾👏🏾 if you're eating your TDEE to break plateau.
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:29:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7cno/if_youre_eating_your_tdee_to_break_plateau/
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I want to start off by saying thank you to the mods of this group and to each and everyone of you that contribute. I've never felt so safe and comfortable talking about the things my brain comes up with.
Secondly, fill me with your positivity. If you've broken your plateau by eating your TDEE amount let me know 😊
Thirdly, I'm terrified that by eating 1929 calories in one day (I am trying to stay under 1400) I'll put on weight.
[Discussion] would you rather:
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7ane/would_you_rather/
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a) people keep asking you why you don't eat ("""normally""")
or
b) people completely ignore/not care about how and what you eat
personally i can't decide...
[Discussion] I just need to talk
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:17:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7ala/i_just_need_to_talk/
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[deleted]
[Other] Eye problems and disorientation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:16:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u7ady/eye_problems_and_disorientation/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE restrict lightly (800-1000 calories) to avoid binging?
/u/DidgeridoOrDie
Created: Wed Aug 16 21:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u785u/dae_restrict_lightly_8001000_calories_to_avoid/
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I push myself to eat more because I feel like if I eat as little as I would like I would binge or lose motivation to restrict.
[Other] Does anyone else use Vora to track fasts?
/u/smallsmallersmallest
Created: Wed Aug 16 20:08:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6x6r/does_anyone_else_use_vora_to_track_fasts/
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They've added a social feature to the app, so I'm wondering if anyone wants to follow each other :) My username is the same as here.
Mods - if this post is against rule 2, then I'm happy for it to be deleted, but I wasn't sure so I'm posting anyway (sorry).
[Help] 260 lbs. 5'00" and Need Advice
/u/Moomoogelato
Created: Wed Aug 16 20:07:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6x5t/260_lbs_500_and_need_advice/
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[removed]
[Other] weightgain for other men
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 190lb | M]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6fde/weightgain_for_other_men/
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slightly overweight guys: look like they could kick my ass, seem friendlier, stomach is cuter, maintain their cheekbones & facial structure
me, when anything over 20lbs underweight: similar in appearance to a decaying gourd
[Rant/Rave] i told my boyfriend about ED today // rant/advice ?
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 140 lbs | UGW: 100 lbs | -105 lbs lost | 16F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:32:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6e8b/i_told_my_boyfriend_about_ed_today_rantadvice/
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we've been together for two years so he already kind of had an idea that i don't exactly eat normally but i don't think he realized how bad it was. it came up because i'm (finally) starting therapy next week and we were talking about my history with self harm and depression and stuff that he wanted to make sure i bring up and get a plan to replace those behaviours. he didn't really respond very much because he was tired and wanting to make sure he knew i was listening, which is great because it was important to me but i wish i knew what he was thinking. especially since he's stockier and a personal trainer and so always trying to make sure i'm eating enough and properly. hopefully he understands why i do things the way i do now. i plan to ask him about his thoughts on it again when it's tomorrow and he's more rested but i'm really scared of what he might be thinking of me. idk it's stupid but i've only ever told a doctor about ana and that was really long ago and didn't go well so it's kinda overwhelming for me ? i don't know what i'm gonna do if he reacts badly and i'm really anxious about it :/
[Help] |Advice/help| Smooth move prep?
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:26:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6d28/advicehelp_smooth_move_prep/
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I'm going to take some Smooth Move tea tonight before bed since, duh, I'm backed up. The last two times I used it I cramped up quite badly and felt generally gross so I was wondering if any of y'all had tips on how to ease the process?
I'm gonna be well hydrated and drink it right before I go to sleep so I hopefully don't wake up at 4am in a sprint to the bathroom, and I'm going to have a heat pad ready and waiting for my rumbly guts when the time comes. I'm also not going to snack a few hours before sleeping so that I don't have anything other than the past two days weighing down my insides. It gives me anxiety but I'd rather poop and be in a bit of pain then stay all bloated and nasty.
[Rant/Rave] Fractured my knee and got my period back and I feel awful
/u/Throwawacct1992 [5'1" | CW 110 | 21.7 | HW 132 | LW 100 | GW 95]
Created: Wed Aug 16 18:26:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u6d0a/fractured_my_knee_and_got_my_period_back_and_i/
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Sorry I just need to vent. I spent a few months bingeing on and off after hitting my LW, put on about 10 lbs. I've been high-restricting pretty consistently since then and running all the time, but I had to stop running a few weeks ago because of a knee fracture. I can still use the elliptical and lift at the gym but it just doesn't feel right. I tend to screw up when my workout routine is off and I'm so scared I'm going to lose my endurance and keep gaining because I can't run.
Now, on top of feeling huge and flabby for the past few months, today I got my period back after losing it in January 2016. I know this is a good thing but it makes me feel like a failure. Of course I got so upset that I binged. Why am I like this
[Rant/Rave] think I overheard my parents talking about my eating disorder. feelin weird
/u/lonas_ [6'00 | 160 | 20.86 | gw: 125 | M]
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u66hc/think_i_overheard_my_parents_talking_about_my/
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been in a cycle of strict fasting with intermittent 500-3000 calorie binges for a little while, wouldn't say I've seen too much weight loss, just in the legs and around the collarbones really.
It probably wasn't at all what I think it is, I honestly had just woken up and heard The Pops through the wall talking on the phone with someone, talking about food, which I found odd. Why would they talk about food? Then he started listing off food that he had made for dinner this week, and it sort of clicked he was talking about me, at least I thought and still do I guess. It's not at all guaranteed he was talking to my mom at all, although I did talk to her recently so there might be some sort of connection. Idk.
Feeling weird about if I should eat. The Pops has definitely expressed some concern for my eating when I was much leaner, without any explicit references to eating disorder, but with a persisting reference of food and eating that can only be surmised as "god pleeeease eat". Today before he left for work he made sure I knew what he had made for dinner, what was in the fridge, that he can bring me home something from work, all that etc. Idk, it kind of felt wrong in that moment. My dad's pretty fuckin' dope, honestly. Really hard working guy who cares about his kids more than anything. Feels wrong to make him worry about his kid like that. Idk.
I've been looking at a lot of El Greco paintings. He probably has some of my favorite depictions of Christ in art ever. Not just bc of how languid his depictions always are, but just how expressive they are and how the posing follows really well guided and contoured lines. good stuff.
[Rant/Rave] stupid rant/vent thing
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:42:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u63v8/stupid_rantvent_thing/
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Haven't been on in awhile.
My mom found c/s in the toilet, got mad because i'm doing it for "attention"
then she tried to tell my friend while she was over at the house
THEN, perfectly timed, today i tried purging in my room but cue it totally missing the target and getting on my white bedsheets.
then school starts. on the fourth day my history teacher, who is overweight, said if we didn't eat vegetables we'd be a "fat cow."
lovely.
this week's been fun.
[Rant/Rave] i want to binge
/u/Really_Rizzoli
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:37:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u62v4/i_want_to_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just wanted to take a sec to share my stream of consciousness with you lovelies (both a rant and a rave)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 16 17:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5y3q/just_wanted_to_take_a_sec_to_share_my_stream_of/
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So this weekend was my grandma's memorial service, which was so beautiful and such a wonderful celebration of her life. But it was also sad because it was saying goodbye to my hero and basically twin. Also my family had so much food and alcohol and everything all weekend. It was a lot to handle on top of sleep deprivation and sadness.
Yesterday I signed the lease on my new apartment which is perfect and I'm so excited for my new roommate!!! But I was also driving all day so I ate like shit so now I feel less than stellar.
Today I've only eaten once, but it was a fucking chocolate chip cookie and I could literally see the butter dropping off it. Not to mention I feel gross from the crap I ate yesterday so blech.
But today I was asked to dinner by a hot, older man who has been flirting with me lately (I'm definitely interested)!!!!! So this will be my first date since getting out of a 7 year relationship in September. 😊
[Goal] Fasting Until September
/u/xxmishxx
Created: Wed Aug 16 16:03:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5i7z/fasting_until_september/
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[removed]
[Goal] Ultimate goals. Before I decide what to eat, I always ask myself "what would Magdalena do?"
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Wed Aug 16 16:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5i31/ultimate_goals_before_i_decide_what_to_eat_i/
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http://i.imgur.com/brzXHKU.jpg
[Help] Low carb advice
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 64.4kg | 23.5 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 15:49:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u5ezu/low_carb_advice/
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I've been keeping my carbs below 50g/day for a couple of days and I feel like I'm dying. I'm also (somewhat) restricting calories, but not heavily. My head hurts all the time, I feel weak and incredibly tired, I have no interest in doing anything. I feel like my other option is to b/p like I always do, and I'm so sick of it. Am I doomed? Will I ever feel better again?
[Goal] After being stuck at 200-201 for over a week, I'M IN ONEDERLAND!!! (plus it's midday and tommorow morning will probably be lower!!!!!)
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 196 lb | GW: 120 lb | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 15:28:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u59x4/after_being_stuck_at_200201_for_over_a_week_im_in/
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https://imgur.com/frAEhy5
[Intro] Salutations.
/u/OddTues [5'4" | 89lbs | 15 | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 16 14:21:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4tfe/salutations/
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I am a 26-year-old female named Tues(day) who was diagnosed with EDNOS (now OSFED) at 16-years-old,
but – after much research and consult with a therapist– I now know that I fit the DSM-5’s criteria for Anorexia Nervosa.
I have lurked r/proED off and on, becuase I just feel incapable of connecting with those around me, but reading your posts helps me feel a little less hopeless.
Like, just maybe, I'm not a complete lost cause who's burdening everyone. I hope I can help others feel a little more accepted, as well.
I am currently taking a break from college, but I am working on improving my grades and getting some other general classes out of the way at community college, so I may eventually transfer to a university (I don't feel comfortable saying which one, because I don't want to jinx anything) and attend their program to become a veterinarian.
I'm currently making general changes to become an ethical vegan (don't worry, I'm not going to judge anyone for eating meat or get preachy about it) starting with dietary and some simple lifestyle changes. I am currently in the process of moving back to my home state of Texas from my current residence in North Carolina, so I'm mostly studying various aspects of general and ethical veganism, but once I move back to Texas I plan to really dive into living a vegan lifestyle. For the record, I actually tend to eat more when eating vegan so this doesn't have to do with my eating disorder.
I have an elliptical that kicks my butt, but I'm also starting to do yoga and aiming to become a very skilled yogi, because I had been looking for an exercise regime to truly commit to for years. One that I can do at home with little to no extra equipment needed best suits where I am at in life. Plus, I had started doing some yoga once before and I really enjoyed it and felt proud when I got better at various poses and started having an easier time doing the breathing with the moves.
Well, I think that's enough about me.
Take care,
Tues
[Thinspo] Directly inspired from /u/homicidoll's post
/u/biscuitsisfluffy [5'4 | 11st 11 | 28.3 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 14:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4s5y/directly_inspired_from_uhomicidolls_post/
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https://i.redd.it/0hkymo92r5gz.jpg
[Help] I want to move on to laxatives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 16 14:01:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4oog/i_want_to_move_on_to_laxatives/
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[removed]
[Help] How do you kill those post work out cravings?
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 13:39:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4j8i/how_do_you_kill_those_post_work_out_cravings/
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I do fasted cardio while working out, then a bit of weight lifting. One hour later I have huge cravings.
I hear decaf coffee helps as an appetite suppressant, but coffee after a workout sounds really gross. Does anyone else have any suggestions?
[Discussion] What meds have you been on and what effect did they have on your weight?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 13:35:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u4i7t/what_meds_have_you_been_on_and_what_effect_did/
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OTC or prescriptions, for any issue.
For me:
YAZ- no effect on my weight that I noticed, cleared up my acne though.
Mirena IUD- I remember I was very skinny at the time I had my IUD and was doing well with my weight loss, but don't know if the IUD actually had anything to do with it. Had to have it removed because it gave me ovarian cysts and acne and slowly gained weight afterward removing it
Wellbutrin- no effect on my weight but made me a crazy bitch
Zoloft- completely took away my appetite. I lost 10 pounds my first month on it. Unfortunately gained it all back when I got off it.
What have been your experiences?
[Help] Iud and periods
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 12:26:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u40u7/iud_and_periods/
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[removed]
Nightmare Text
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 16 12:23:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u40b0/nightmare_text/
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https://imgur.com/y61QnvD
[Rant/Rave] Can't escape the binge.
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW126 | 23.8 | GW95| F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 12:17:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3yqx/cant_escape_the_binge/
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So I've been doing everything I can stop try and stop binging. I gave my credit cards and debit card for my manager to hold onto. I just have a small amount of cash on me at all times. I told her it was because I'm trying to stop shopping and wanting to save money...
I order my food online through goodfood. I get 3 meals a week, 2 servings per meal. A week before I will pick whatever recipes I want for the following week and on Wednesdays they deliver only enough food for my three meals. Nothing more, nothing less. It stops me from going to the grocery store and getting unnecessary foods that shouldn't be in the house.
I get the food delivered to my work since someone is always there and I'm usually never home. I walked to work today to pick up my delivery and figured I would put it all in my backpack and walk home. I had a rough night last night and a rough morning so all I wanted to do the whole day was binge. I told myself I would walk to work, pick up my package and then walk home. If I could make it past all the take out restaurants on my walk there and back then when I got home I would make a smoothie.
Well... today at work the managers decided to buy McDonalds for everyone for lunch. I happened to get there right a lunch time. With tables full of free McDonalds and everyone telling me to sit down and have lunch with them......so a mountain of fries and cheeseburgers later I pack up my food to head home. Obviously on my way home I stopped and spent my last 10$ on a box of donuts since I fucked up with the McDonalds why stop there? Extremely disappointed in myself....
Today was my day off, I could have easily gotten away with just a smoothie mid afternoon and gone to bed hungry but still content with myself.....
Instead of doing all the fun stuff I wanted to do on my day off, I'm going to have to spend the rest of the night working off that pathetic binge.
[Discussion] What is your go-to safe food that will keep you from feeling shitty about what you eat?
/u/coffeejournalist
Created: Wed Aug 16 11:51:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3s5x/what_is_your_goto_safe_food_that_will_keep_you/
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Like the title states, what's your go-to food for restriction that fits your calories, or something you allow yourself to have to prevent a full on binge?
Once a week I'll let myself have an Egg McMuffin, a hash brown, and a Diet Coke from McDonald's. It totals up to 450 calories, so it fits into my heavy restriction days of 500 calories 😊 it also makes me feel like I'm having something taboo, so I don't feel the need to binge!
I want to hear everyone else's safe foods 😋
[Help] Help with electrolytes...
/u/mamaimabiggirlnow [5'7 | 286 | -14 pounds| 26 female]
Created: Wed Aug 16 11:19:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3k93/help_with_electrolytes/
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I'm having a hard time understanding electrolytes. I know what they do and I they are more than just sodium (potassium, magnesium, etc).
I have been eating between 500-800 (so not that low, but I am a very large person) for a week straight, no binges. When I feel like my electrolytes might be shitty, I have been having chicken stock or pickles. That helps with sodium, but does it cover all the other electrolytes, too? Or do I really need to be drinking something like diet gatorade or Propel zero?
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] RANT - My weight keeps going up!
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 151 | 28.22 | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 16 11:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u3gzx/rant_my_weight_keeps_going_up/
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This is so frustrating. I've been restricting EVERY FUCKING DAY for the past 2-3 weeks, and exercising. There were only 2 days of those that met my tdee and my weight keeps saying it's gone up 6lbs. But on the other hand I also measure myself and apparently I've lost 3-4 inches all combined. Then why am I still so heavy?? Is it my seroquil? Do I need to add on cardio on my bodyweight days? What the heck is going on?! This is so frustrating. Like, I've worked so hard, and I'm still fucking fat.😧
No wonder people give up!
[Discussion] how do you guys deal with fatigue/general spaciness during restriction?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 09:40:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2v9t/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_fatiguegeneral/
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i work 9-5 and towards the middle and end of the workday when i'm restricting i feel so exhausted and fatigued that even going upstairs to talk with my boss takes so much effort. i feel so out of it and spaced out. during college this isn't an issue as much probably because i'm distracted by class. i drink water/tea so idk how much hydration comes into it. how do you guys deal with fatigue and spaciness during restriction?
[Rant/Rave] [rave] I finally found an anti-depressant that works!
/u/archersarrows [5'6"|CW110|SW225|GW100|17.83]
Created: Wed Aug 16 09:24:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2r9e/rave_i_finally_found_an_antidepressant_that_works/
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...Not for fixing my depression, but for suppressing my appetite! At least it does something, though. I've been on three different meds this year alone (Prozac, Trintellix, and Wellbutrin), and they all did jack when it came to alleviating the depression. So far, so is lucky number four, Zoloft.
So I'm a big, anxious mess, but damn, I pop my Zoloft at night and don't feel like eating again for at least twenty hours.
[Discussion] Anyone else shame-lurk fatpeoplehate?
/u/jjfmish
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2k93/anyone_else_shamelurk_fatpeoplehate/
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That forum is disgusting and I hate myself for it, but I find it so triggering in the best and worst way possible. I hate myself.
[Goal] How many pounds do you have left to go until UGW?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:53:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2jqg/how_many_pounds_do_you_have_left_to_go_until_ugw/
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[Rant/Rave] I just want a week alone with my eating disorder
/u/nervous_nandu
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:36:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2fv7/i_just_want_a_week_alone_with_my_eating_disorder/
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i moved in with my boyfriend like 3 weeks ago and any kind of restriction has been painfully difficult because he watches me like a hawk and checks my weight and it has put me in fucking crisis. i just want him to leave for a week so i can have the house alone with my ED and let all the food in the fridge go bad. i am gaining weight despite us both eating very healthy & vegan. im freaking out i need to fast im sorry if this doesnt make sense i just want to get it out and i guess ask for advice on how to restrict while living with someone? we start classes next week so that might make things easier since ill be on campus all day but these past weeks have been agonizing
I can't eat anymore
/u/Paperthinpaperskin
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:16:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u2bf5/i_cant_eat_anymore/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What are your food go-tos?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 70 | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Wed Aug 16 08:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u27pg/what_are_your_food_gotos/
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Hi lovelies,
School is about to start and I'm considering getting a pass for the more fun group fitness classes. I'm probably going to incorporate a two-a-day 2x a week.
I know that I can keep my calorie levels relatively close to 800 and still be okay; I'll also probably have one day a week where I max out 1000-1200.
My question is, for those of you who work out or are busy during the week, what foods are your go-tos? I'm going to be pretty busy with school and what I have so far is chicken tortilla soup on a meal prep day to eat throughout the week. Pinterest and google are great for recipes, but don't necessary have an ED perspective in mind tbh so I'm wary about calories.
Thanks in advance : )
[Discussion] Thoughs on High Restriction?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 16 07:59:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u27e6/thoughs_on_high_restriction/
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[deleted]
[Other] Bf is going away for a month
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Wed Aug 16 07:53:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u25yt/bf_is_going_away_for_a_month/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] body what the fuck??
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 16 07:01:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1v68/body_what_the_fuck/
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I binged like hell for the past two weeks and I weighed myself yesterday and was 137 (I started at 131), I restricted yesterday and did well (went out to eat so I was only able to keep it under 1200 ugh) but I weighed myself today and I'm at 138.4? what the fuck?? I went to the bathroom twice yesterday???
also, I did the math and to have gained that much I would have had to eat over 1000 extra calories a day which I was eating a lot but I wasn't eating that much
so now, do i restrict today to help myself, or do i binge to comfort myself?
[Discussion] August 16, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [27F | 5'5 | 125 lb | 21.05 | GW 110 | UGW 105 ]
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:51:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1t81/august_16_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What question(s) do you love to answer?
[Discussion] Anyone Over 150 lbs and Looking For Support?
/u/lonelypressplay2
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:37:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1qgd/anyone_over_150_lbs_and_looking_for_support/
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Just looking to get a discussion going. I'm currently at 169 and down from 190 in January. It's been a constant battle of bingeing for months on end and restricting for months on end. While it's wonderful to see posts form all of you, I was looking for discussion for those over 150.
For years, I was able to dismiss having disordered eating because I'm bigger. I healthily went from 210 lbs to 138 about 9 years ago and the positive affirmations from those around me suddenly triggered this intense urge to restrict heavily. Or, when I started feeling comfortable to binge and binge and binge. I don't eat normally ever. It's all or nothing with everything in my life.
I posted not too long ago about my husband leaving home and how I felt so happy to be able to not have to worry about him seeing my restricting and intense exercising. Well, he moved back home and while things still haven't changed (he still doesn't touch me unprovoked) I was so happy to have him home that I went on a two week binge fest. I'm now up 5 lbs from 164 and I hate myself. I sat in the shower and sobbed and pinched at all of the belly fat around my c-section scars (mom of 2 here which makes all of this worse) last night and repeated over and over, "This is why he isn't attracted to you anymore." I am just so sad.
Anyway, looking for support and discussion. Were any of you the same way and able to dismiss your disordered eating because of being overweight or obese?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:12:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1lrp/daily_food_diary_august_16_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 16, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1lk8/way_to_go_wednesday_august_16_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 16, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Thinspo] Outfit Thinspiration 8.16
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie [5'6 (66 in)| 127 lbs| 20 BMI | - 3 (This week) | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 06:09:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1lb3/outfit_thinspiration_816/
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http://imgur.com/a/keF9y
back at it (:
/u/hollyw97
Created: Wed Aug 16 05:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u1cdi/back_at_it/
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[removed]
[Humor] My ED check list
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 05:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u19py/my_ed_check_list/
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Dizziness - check
Nausea - check
Moodiness - check
Inability to process multiple things at once due to brain fog - triple check
Weight loss -
.....
Seriously tho, where you at??
[Discussion] Anyone 25+ older bc I feel like I have one foot in the grave in terms of internet age
/u/ThinPrince
Created: Wed Aug 16 04:26:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u14s5/anyone_25_older_bc_i_feel_like_i_have_one_foot_in/
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used to be active here and made a new account. I'm paranoid about separating accounts now. I like having peers around me who understand the ED temptation and struggle while trying to become a full-fledged adult. I'm 25 and feel like I'm still trying to fight outta a womb
I will add all of you 25 and older bc tbh I feel too old for this shit but here I am/hope you guys understand.
[Help] Weird question- is bulimia with just fasting actually bulimia?
/u/polishium [5'1" | CW:103.5lbs | BMI:19.6 | GW:95lbs | 23F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 03:33:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0xin/weird_question_is_bulimia_with_just_fasting/
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Like the definitions of bulimia tend to include fasting in there too. But it doesn't feel as.. legitimate I guess? It feels more just like an unhealthy relationship with food. When people think of bulimia they always think of purging. Not just binging and then strict dieting to try to compensate.
Idk my thoughts are a mess sorry.
edit: I'm not trying to be offensive or anything. I just genuinely don't know and I trust you guys more than a doc who hasn't heard of these things outside of a textbook.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Wed Aug 16 03:18:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0vid/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/f1twrpyth2gz.jpg
[Help] How many calories in just a pizza crust?
/u/fatbatch
Created: Wed Aug 16 02:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0pkj/how_many_calories_in_just_a_pizza_crust/
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Sorry I know this is random and I'm not sure if it's allowed. My boyfriend always has these oven cook frozen pizzas (he eats terribly and has an insane metabolism which is one of my problems) and he leaves the crusts. Last night I finished off the crusts from his pizza and I don't know how many calories I consumed and it's driving me crazy. It was just a plain crust. Please help!!
[Discussion] I just don't feel full.
/u/kindawkwardtree
Created: Wed Aug 16 02:03:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0lim/i_just_dont_feel_full/
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I don't know why but all my life, I've never really been able to feel full. I don't really know how to explain it. I can eat a huge meal and still not feel full. Sure, I won't be hungry anymore, but I'll still have this sort of empty feeling in my stomach.
I was jut wondering, does anyone else feel this way? I think I read something about it a while ago but I'm not sure.
[Goal] Finally broke my plateau, and just in time for vacation! There is hope!
/u/TheThirdCloneOfXyxl
Created: Wed Aug 16 01:47:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0jfe/finally_broke_my_plateau_and_just_in_time_for/
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Y'all, oh man. I can't share this with my boyfriend cause he'll be upset but I have to tell somebody.
I've been at the same damn weight for 2 weeks and I FINALLY managed to get past it! My goal was to lose 5lbs before I go on vacation (on Friday) AND I DID IT. Time to binge on vacation and fulfil my lifelong dream of becoming a human balloon. /s
:))))
I hope y'all can be as lucky as me, a whoosh could never have been more appropriately timed. :')
[Rant/Rave] Exercise addiction [rant/rave]
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 16 00:32:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u090x/exercise_addiction_rantrave/
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You know it's funny how I'm trying to keep up with my addictions to both restricting and exercising at the same time when they affect each other so negatively. Even my doctors have said that vigorous exercise can be dangerous at my BMI.
DOESN'T STOP ME LOL
I'm finally having my holidays and instead of relaxing and pigging out like 'normal' people I'm planning my days around exercise. Sedentary days make me anxious and depressed so I try to at least include walks and cycling to each day. But my plan is to run, run, run, (runner's high tho!!!) and swim so much! I've got so much time for it. <3
Yesterday I got a bit scared when the scale told me I weighed 39.5kg. I had been trying to eat at maintenance?? I'm uncomfortable with my weight starting with 3 as it sounds so hospitalization-tier and it does no favors for my exercise routine.This triggered a binge.
I certainly don't like the aftermath of binging but on the other hand it gives me extra energy for my next workout. It's easier to lose the calories by eating at sedentary maintenance while being active (and it doesn't trigger a b/p cycle!)
DAE have obsessive tendencies when it comes to exercise??
(Having flair problems, I'm on mobile)
[Other] Pickle juice is a godsend when you're craving something salty
/u/adenrules
Created: Wed Aug 16 00:12:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6u0626/pickle_juice_is_a_godsend_when_youre_craving/
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0 calories, baby. Sometimes I'll sit down and drink a whole jar.
[Other] He got out of jail today and I'm a mess
/u/Saltycook
Created: Tue Aug 15 23:22:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tzyij/he_got_out_of_jail_today_and_im_a_mess/
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Hey again. I don't know who cares to read this.
A couple days ago I posted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdodq/posting_this_here_because_you_people_are_the_only/) about the guy I work with who tried to kill me. Worked together and were housed in the same building (worked at a resort). After it happened my bosses assured me even if he did get out, I'd never have to see him.
Whelp, this morning I woke up early, refreshed, feeling good. Got my coffee on, was studying and listening to Jack Johnson. I was so fucking happy for the first time since it happened.
Then the phone rang. They're letting him out within the hour. Fuck. Fuck. Godammit. Fuck. A panic attack ensues.
Cue my roommate watching as I scramble to evacuate like I'm anticipating a volcanic eruption. I'm in tears as she asks what's wrong and if she can help. All I say is they're letting him out, please tell them (my bosses) and I'm sorry.
I ran to a hotel nearby where I'm supposed to take my somm exam and have spent the day studying bingeing and purging. I know they don't know where I am, and more importantly he doesn't know where I am. I'm fucking terrified.
[Help] Major bloating?
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 113.6 | - 7.6 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 21:18:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tzd65/major_bloating/
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Mobile, no flair sorry.
I may have posted this before but does anyone else deal with MAJOR and massive bloating? I feel like anything I eat will make my stomach puff out like crazy, even drinking too much water. Unless I've eaten next to nothing, at the end of the night if I relax my stomach it looks like I'm 3-4 months pregnant. It's been this way for as long as I can remember and I've never found anything that works to get rid of it, except just plain not eating. Even in the years where I've eaten pretty well and gained weight properly, it's just... constant. A daily struggle.
How do I get rid of it?! I already exercise a lot and drink a ton of water. Will probiotocs help? Metamucil? Anything??? I also get constipated really easy so maybe that's related. Everything in my gut just seems... sluggish. Help meeeeee
[Rant/Rave] When life is a cruel bitch that taunts your recovery.
/u/MothsUponOldScarves
Created: Tue Aug 15 20:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyznl/when_life_is_a_cruel_bitch_that_taunts_your/
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https://i.redd.it/cvnm6tl6d0gz.jpg
[Thinspo] Vanessa Marano on the set of #savingzoemovie
/u/rizzie_ [5'2F CW:128 GW:110 ||🍑 rizzie_]
Created: Tue Aug 15 20:04:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyyof/vanessa_marano_on_the_set_of_savingzoemovie/
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https://i.redd.it/3p9dv9ubc0gz.jpg
[Other] I'm getting boobs
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 19:43:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyukc/im_getting_boobs/
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So I've lost about 70 pounds since the end of January plus I have 2 children. What's left of my boobs is just a disgrace. I thought I was ok with being flat chested, and I would be if they weren't so saggy (sorry tmi). I went from a D to an A cup.
Long story short, I'm getting tits as an adult who has never had to have surgery or be put under anesthesia. What I'm most nervous about is still being unhappy with my appearance and doing all of this for nothing.
[Discussion] Songs related to EDs?
/u/lonellonelonelone
Created: Tue Aug 15 19:15:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6typ9u/songs_related_to_eds/
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Edit: On mobile, flair as discussion please
I made a playlist of songs that remind me of EDs. Does anyone have any suggestions for songs?
Current Playlist:
Skinny Love-Birdy
Zero-Smashing Pumpkins
Creep-Radiohead
Tunic-Sonic Youth
Two-The Antlers
The Sea is a Good Place to Think of the Future-Los Campesinos
A Line allows Progress, a Circle does not- Bright Eyes
So Sad, So Sad-Varsity
Paper Bag-Fiona Apple
4st 7lb-Manic Street Preachers
Cars And Calories- Saves the Day
Please Eat-Nicole Dollanganger
Lucy at the Gym- Lucy Sobule
The Fear-Lily Allen
Eyesore-Maria Mena
Control-Halsey
Skinny-Edith Backlund
Bleed Like Me-Garbage
Bones-Charlotte Martin
My Eating Disorder- Titus Andronicus
1994- Pwr Bttm
[Rant/Rave] My weight loss and daily running (except Sunday's) will start tomorrow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:54:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tykyc/my_weight_loss_and_daily_running_except_sundays/
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[removed]
Struggling with ED behaviors and thoughts (24 M)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:33:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tygo9/struggling_with_ed_behaviors_and_thoughts_24_m/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My friends are well meaning but... well they're literally making me barf lol
/u/whittlebone
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:29:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tyfvj/my_friends_are_well_meaning_but_well_theyre/
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Constantly trying to feed me. This is the group of friends I have that know me the most-- I've moved around a lot and settled here about four years ago and have been rocking with the same group of people for three or four years. They know what I'm like when I'm doing well and they know what I'm like when ~cRaZy~ which is DEFINITELY now lol.
My friends and I are all stoners that either love to go out and eat or love to order in and watch dumb shit like Martin or Judge Judy and laugh at one another. They're all wonderful beautiful people with high metabolisms so they can just eat whatever the fuck they want. I've been EXTREMELY strict with myself-- everything in my life is in chaos so even though this is HURTING me and I feel weepy throughout the day and I take forever to get out of bed-- well, it's all I have right now. And in being strict I have not binged badly. I have been eating less that 500 calories a day since beginning of July and I've lost about 30 pounds. Any day where I eat heavily I eat around 1000. Those. Days. Are. Always. Because. Of. Friends.
They can never just leave me alone when I say I'll order a salad. Or when I say I'm not hungry. Or that I'll have a boiled egg and coffee for breakfast. Or that I've brought my own snacks. I went out for drinks with some friends the other day and got pressured into ordering food 😒 I felt SO fat after I ate it, like actually like my stomach was big enough to hold the population of a sprawling continent.
And so what did I do? Well I took the path I promised I wouldn't this time around and I went to the bathroom and barfed it all up. 🙃 So I guess the good ol' bulimia is back as well in trying to maintain the facade of rapidly disintegrating normalcy.
How do you all deal with these pressures? I am so tired but this is literally all I have.
[Discussion] DAE follow a keto diet and do you find that it helps with energy levels when you severely restrict?
/u/Harpieharper [5'1" | 123.6 | -40lbs | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:10:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tybq3/dae_follow_a_keto_diet_and_do_you_find_that_it/
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I've recently started fasting and threw keto into the mix because I felt that it'd be better to maintain a state of ketosis rather than wave in and out of it. My energy is shit right now even though I've been eating ~1,000 calories on the days I don't fast (which I feel is sufficient enough for satiety/energy). I plan to go down to 500 calories or so once I'm keto-adapted and wonder if hunger/energy/etc. would be unaffected. Because technically it should feel the same eating nothing at all versus eating a moderate amount once you're in keto right? I'd like some input from a veteran if possible! Thanks.
[Rant/Rave] I’m not as excited for college anymore
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -32lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 15 18:01:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ty9sv/im_not_as_excited_for_college_anymore/
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I don’t know why this is effecting me the way it is , but ever since my roommate got in touch with me I started to feel like shit even more . Looking at her pictures encourages me to not want to even eat again . I’m not saying I have a problem interacting with thinner people , Its the simple fact that I’m going to be LIVING with someone with such high confidence (stalked her page/statuses) My family is overweight so I’ve never lived with someone smaller than me. I feel like I’d be sucking in my stomach 24/7 and tip toe around so my thighs won’t jiggle as much . It’s so stupid , I can’t stop obsessing about how much thinner she is than me . I bet she has a great personality too, but it’s me being insane . She says she’s very social and I’m not as social but I wanted to get out of my shell more for college so I didn’t mind that ... JUST WASNT EXPECTING HER TO BE SO HOT . Imagine how fucking stupid I’d look getting a different roommate because of that . Why can’t I just be confident? it would make my life so much easier .
I’m sorry I just really needed to get that off my chest , any advice is welcomed
[Help] College grocery tips?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 17:25:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ty2da/college_grocery_tips/
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Hi guys! Firstly just want to say this is my favourite sub and you are the nicest people I've ever met on the internet so TY FOR BEING YOU
Anyway, I'm getting a little anxious because I used to have meal plans on campus but I gained a ton of weight and my binge eating disorder was really exasperated as I was super depressed at the time. My college is in the city, so I've decided this year I want to take advantage of that and try and cook more.
Does anyone have go-to's at Trader Joes or other grocery stores that would make sense for a college student trying to lose weight but not break the bank? I am terrible at grocery shopping and feel like I make dumb decisions (in general lol.) Thank you in advance!
[Rant/Rave] Today was a binge day
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 17:18:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ty0vl/today_was_a_binge_day/
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A guy I've been seeing saw a picture of me from when I was at my lowest weight and I said yeah I was kinda skinny there. He said "I wouldn't really say you were skinny".
My landlords found out about the kitten I've been keeping in my house and now I have to give her away. I love her so much and I am heartbroken.
4000 calories later. What a fun day.
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up. I need to vent, for some things to get off my chest- keep scrolling
/u/TinyandLost [5'6 | Gross | BMI - OW | -13lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 16:41:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txt09/i_fucked_up_i_need_to_vent_for_some_things_to_get/
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I fucked up, hard! I knew I was doing it but I never expected anything to come of it.
I don't want to go into detail as I know I'm a piece of shit, I'd rather not get anymore judgement.
I messed up, it was fun at the time but I fucked up. I ruined so much and I've now lost friends because of it. I hate myself beyond belief and I'm spending every moment loading up goddamn Facebook messenger to see if anything pops up. I'm living in fear. My anxiety is through the roof, I'm as close to suicidal as I think I can get without actually going ahead with it. To make things worse, I'm bouncing between wanting to eat just to feel better and screaming at myself for thinking that way.
I know it won't make me feel better. I know I eat to cover up. I know that's my fucking problem, but now I don't want to. I'm fighting this urge to put food in my fucking mouth just because I'm angry and upset.
I just want this fraction of hell to be over so I can go back under my rock, where I'm safe and sound, and only mediocrely depressed. I know I messed up and I know I ruined everything for you (random unnamed person) but please just leave me alone. I'm suffering enough, just let this go. I know I messed up, I realise that. Just, for fucks sake, I'm not the person you should be screaming at. Please, I'm punishing myself. You don't need to aswell, soon enough everyone else will. Just leave me to my misery.
[Rant/Rave] spiraling
/u/semperdeep [F19 | 5'5" | CW: lol | BMI:25 | -29 | GW:109.9]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:55:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txih9/spiraling/
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Foraying out of lurkdom to say, first of all, thank the lord for you lovely people. I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that I'm not the only one who thinks the way I do.
Now, I go to a military university where we all wear the same uniform, we get weighed in four times a year, and we all eat together 2x a day. Basically a nightmare. We go back to school tomorrow, and I am an anxious wreck. We, as females, oftentimes are largely judged on "aptitude" by our looks, and I really and truly believe with the most logical part of my brain that my life will be quantifiably better if I can suck it up and lose the damn weight...
...but I can't, for the life of me, stop shoving my face full of terrible, terrible, calorific things. I can go days, more than a week without eating, make awesome progress, but eventually, something snaps and I turn into a black hole. I purged for the very first time not too long ago, and the rush is terrifying. I am, as titled, spiraling, mentally, physically...
basically, when you all get like this, what do you do to get your head above water? I am a mess, and I'm so not ready to come forward to anyone I know about this.
Thanks again for the ear, and I hope you wonderful people are having a great and happy Tuesday!
[Discussion] What are some healthy foods you don't allow yourself to buy in fear of binging on them?
/u/mypure [5'8 | 20 | 🍑: mypure]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txccf/what_are_some_healthy_foods_you_dont_allow/
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Aka "fear" foods that happen to be traditionally healthy.
Foods that are great in moderation, but you can't help but binge.
Mine are: nuts, yogurt, and granola.
[Rant/Rave] Never thought I'd fit in size 4 jeans!
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 121.0 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:24:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6txb9g/never_thought_id_fit_in_size_4_jeans/
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You guuuuuuys I just went to the mall today in need of a new pair of levis (since my old ones were way too big for me now) and I was afraid that a size 4 pair wouldn't fit but they actually fit perfectly!!! A couple months ago when I got a size 6 pair I tried on a size 4 and it didn't even button!!!
Also now instead of a size small in shirts I'm now an extra small! :) I'm really excited since I never thought I'd be able to fit in these sizes!
[Help] Can anyone help me figure out an estimate of calories I had?
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx6o6/can_anyone_help_me_figure_out_an_estimate_of/
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I had breakfast at a diner today. What I usually do is say I can eat one meal as much as I want and nothing else for the rest of the day but today I had a lot so I'm worried.
Breakfast:
2 scrambled eggs
Shredded home fries
Half a small sausage link, just one bite
One and a half (plate sized) pancakes with adequate butter and syrup
I've also had nearly half a 2 liter of ginger ale cuz of a stomach ache which is about 4-500 calories
How bad is it?
Edit: currently freaking the fuck out. Going on vacation to a lake in half a week lol. If I gain more weight :(:(
Apps to track calories & progress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx6ag/apps_to_track_calories_progress/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why do I always do this
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW120ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Tue Aug 15 15:03:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx68w/why_do_i_always_do_this/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why!!!!! Rant. A rant. TW self harm maybe
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:54:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tx44b/why_rant_a_rant_tw_self_harm_maybe/
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Why??? Why do I keep putting food in my mouth????? If I know I'm going to want to die later???? Why????????? Why do I do it? Why!!! I'm so mad at myself. Why does my brain do this to me! Why tell me it's okay to eat and then make me hurt myself to make up for it!
That's my rant thanks for listening. 😞
[Rant/Rave] New Binge Preventers (rant)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | 143.8 lbs | 26.18 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:30:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twxwp/new_binge_preventers_rant/
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I didn't really know how to title this but I'm constantly on the lookout for something new that will keep me from binging, because after something works for a while it inevitably stops. Coffee used to keep me from binging, and then when it didn't tea did the trick. Tea was replaced by gum, and then diet soda, and then going for walks, or having broth. I got some e-cigs and they've been working, but I know in a few months it'll probably stop and I'll have to figure out a new "thing" to keep me from becoming a human vacuum cleaner. I know it's all in my head, I feel like I'm just too used to whatever I've been doing and I get so bored that I have to do something else. It's extremely frustrating.
[Intro] [Intro]
/u/theyallcallheralaska
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:23:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tww64/intro/
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Hey! I'm new but lurked for awhile and made a few comments just to later delete on my main account so hi :).
Are GI issues common with eating disorders
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twvao/are_gi_issues_common_with_eating_disorders/
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[removed]
[Help] How to deal with constipation?
/u/none_intended
Created: Tue Aug 15 14:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twrbu/how_to_deal_with_constipation/
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Hi guys I'm new here and I've only recently realised my ED is back but this time I'm really committing.
Though this time I've run into an unexpected problem. I eat 400-800 calories per day plus an hour to two hours of exercise. I try my best to eat healthy and take supplements but my shits are so shit. I don't want to develop a laxative dependency and I am taking fibre supplements.
Tried different types, still no improvement. I do have an insane amount of stress from school right now, could that be what's affecting me?
And did your poops return to normal after you returned to a normal diet?
I'd love some help/tips thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I now weigh over 100 lbs......
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Tue Aug 15 13:30:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6twj6k/i_now_weigh_over_100_lbs/
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So long story short I had to go to the psychiatrist just for like a normal check in (not regarding my ED, no one knows a bout it, just general mental health stuff) and didn't even think about the fact that they would weigh me until I was in the car there. I weighed 102.6lbs.
I know thats like nothing but I have never been over 100 in my life and it honestly scares the shit out of me and I don't know how to handle it.
And when my mom found out (she goes with me) she was all excited and like "YAY!!" and I was like shut up mom (obvi didn't say that but seriously wanted to). Then my mom said that she thinks I'm to concerned with my weight and my psychiatrist "but your so thin you don't need to worry!" and my mom was like "I think its more about the numbers" and I just sat there and said nothing.
Sorry this was long and irrelevant but I just needed to vent and feel like I was telling someone
[Rant/Rave] my sisters doctor advised her about "starvation mode"
/u/blairwaldorfmustpie [5'5 | 200+lbs | 35 | -26 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 12:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tw5yy/my_sisters_doctor_advised_her_about_starvation/
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my sister is recovering from an ED and has *finally* gotten in touch with a doctor/dietitian, and she told me that they want her eating every 2 hours to avoid going into "starvation mode", which frustrates her since she's used to eating 2 meals and maybe a snack at most when she isn't actively restricting, so i told her it's probably due to her being malnourished because i don't think the average healthy person has to eat *that* often, but she said that if you don't eat at least every 4 hours you'll go into "starvation mode", according to her and her doctors. now i didn't fight this because i'm not a doctor and i want her to recover, so i don't want to make her think she shouldn't be listening to her doctors advice, but it frustrated me so much! i can't believe actual doctors are teaching that! any time i've lost a significant amount of weight has been with fasting and not eating more than 800cals a day, so how the fuck does starvation mode work into that?? it's nonsense but i can't tell her that because that means exposing my habits and almost definitely making things worse for her, and, more selfishly, i don't want her or anyone in the family telling me to eat more often so i don't go into the dreaded *~starvation mode~*, especially since my parents already buy into most of that kind of horseshit
[Help] natural appetite suppressants?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 12:23:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tw236/natural_appetite_suppressants/
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[removed]
[Other] My ED bullet journal of sorts
/u/sareenas
Created: Tue Aug 15 11:50:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tvtpi/my_ed_bullet_journal_of_sorts/
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http://imgur.com/a/BcY9M
I thought I'd share my bujo for tracking my eating habits - perhaps it will help someone :) This is a system I've been using for a while now (especially when I'm restricting). I found an old A6 dotted Leuchtturm notebook today and decided it was time for a ~fresh start~ lol.
Basically, this is kind of a game for me and the **rules** are simple:
* Every hour I fill one circle - black is for fasting hours, pink is for when I eat.
* I must eat my meals within an hour and there must always be at least 5 hours between them (so 5 black circles, 1 pink, 5 black and so on).
* All meals must be <300 calories. If I eat 180, I still have to wait 5 hours to eat again. I also can't 'save' calories and eat them later in the day.
The 'start' thingy on the left page is just so I know when I started, so I can colour the circles at the same time every hour. I also try to make all my meals KETO or low-carb, but that's just a personal preference - I'm less hungry that way. I decorate the pages with quotes I like or drawings/stickers :)
[Discussion] It's not the hunger that gets me
/u/goshgollyheck
Created: Tue Aug 15 11:37:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tvqfe/its_not_the_hunger_that_gets_me/
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Obligatory "hey guys, my name's Chloe. I'm new!" I've been lurking on here for a few weeks, and I finally made a throwaway for this sub. I've been restricting at <200cal a day, and it'd be a breeze if it weren't for the CRAVINGS. I'm fortunate enough to be able to cut down on my eating fairly easily, but man oh man, what makes it so tough is thinking about all the foods I can't eat. No cookies, no lil caesars stuffed crazy bread, no chocolate, basically none of my favorite foods! I'm getting a bit antsy with just eating jello cups and apples and bites of random things I find in my fridge here and there (but I hate not being able to track the calories for these bites, so it's mostly just jello cups and apples). Do any of you guys have any snacks that satisfy your salty or sweet cravings that are under 80cals?
Edit: my friend came by selling spam musubis, SAVE ME
[Help] I'm so down, I hate bingeing, insomnia, and myself
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Aug 15 11:27:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tvnyc/im_so_down_i_hate_bingeing_insomnia_and_myself/
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Insomnia has become my living hell. Diet pills, while they curb my appetite all day, I think won't let me sleep.
Time: 4am, go to the local convenience store because there is nothing in the house, I already hit 1300cals on Monday so I'm ruined. Purchase muffin, apple croissant, cheese puffs, and a chocolate bar. Eat everything.... too tired to purge but hating myself so much now for not. I feel disgusting, I want to just get the fat out from under my skin.
No food today, although with that 4am binge I'm at over 2500 anyway......
How do you stop a binge cycle? I'm so scared. Food is on my mind and I feel the high.... I hate this, why do I do this.
I've been so good. I can't let this cycle happen again, I'm so lost. I can't binge, please do not let this happen to me. I need to reach my GW by the end of September or else I've failed myself. I'm just so so depressed, thank you for reading.
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/mushroomlevel [5'6" | 107 | 17.34 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 10:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tva8l/i_hate_myself/
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My suicidal thoughts are never about the world being too painful and needing to escape. It's always because I am such a screw up and I should remove myself from the population. The longer I'm here the more I make a fool of myself and inadvertently hurt people. Remembering all the stupid things I've done in the past I get stuck in a loop of "haha I should just die." Some days this thought is more serious than others.
[Rant/Rave] "What's your deal breaker?"
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 10:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tv8uw/whats_your_deal_breaker/
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Last night I was talking to one of my guy friends from work, who's fairly attractive and had his fair share of girlfriends and FWB's.
We were casually talking about bad dates and all that, he asked me "What's your deal breaker?" and I told him ya know, someone who talks too much about himself or if he's parties too much.
Then he was like "well, you might think I'm an asshole...but when she's overweight.."
Obviously I wanted to fire on him about how some girls have ED's and that being overweight can be a mental and physical strain on the individual but I didn't want to act snooty especially he knows that I lost so much weight. I know he talks to me a bit more than before but I'm still technically overweight and this just made me mad for no reason at all. /rant
[Discussion] First fast
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 15 09:36:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tuvxd/first_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to throw a fit
/u/BasicallyBelle [5'5 | CW 143 | GW 113]
Created: Tue Aug 15 09:28:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tutwp/im_going_to_throw_a_fit/
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I've been struggling with eating related issues for a very very long time. There has been a lot of disordered eating history and I'm finally coming to accepting the fact that I have a very real and very serious problem.
So I go to the doctor and sit down with her and I'm like "okay so here is my problem, I think I hahe an eating disorder please help blah blah blah" and she has the NERVE to look at me and say "well... I don't think you have an eating disorder or any reason to have an eating disorder. I'd kill to look like you, you aren't fat. Seriously I wish I were as thin as you. Get over yourself"
Oh really Jan? Well you have three freaking toddler brats and you're husband owns a restaurant, there is a reason your weight is what it is. WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK. How can you just write off someone's medical related issues?!
Why am I like this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 15 08:43:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tujcg/why_am_i_like_this/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Something that helps me not binge
/u/tortoise80
Created: Tue Aug 15 08:14:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tud2w/something_that_helps_me_not_binge/
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Fidget spinner! Since I got one I've had a much easier time not binging (fingers crossed this continues). I think it's something about using that weird kinetic nervous energy, and focusing on tiring out a very specific part of your body. It's like an instant easy mindfulness that really helps to get out of that headspace. Anyway I thought other people might find this useful :))
[Rant/Rave] Hitting yet another low point and rethinking my whole life
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW170 | GW120 | BMI24.65 | 19F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 07:39:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tu5ho/hitting_yet_another_low_point_and_rethinking_my/
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I'm constantly yo-yoing between the same ten pounds and I'm so unbelievably sick of it. I can't discipline myself at all and my warped body image is always screwing me over. I'll notice that I've lost some weight and think "ah yes some leeway to be a fat fucking slob again finally" and then immediately reach self-loathing dips that make each rise and fall so drastic. I wish I hated myself enough to just stick to something, if I give myself even a modicum of leniency or kindness I always fall off in the end.
I wish I just didn't have to eat at all! I hate it so much! Every time I get in the kitchen to make a meal there's always things I can't have or things I don't want and every single gram that enters my fat jaws has to be weighed. It's so tedious that I either don't do it at all or I abandon it and eat like squidward in the patty vault. If I eat one thing I shouldn't then OOPS it's time to eat EVERYTHING I shouldn't because who knows when I'll get the chance to eat it again (next week probably, when the exact same fucking thing happens).
Looking in the mirror I either see something that could be worse or actual sentient blubber and it destroys me in one way or another. Currently on what I'm praying is the ass-end of another weekend overindulgence and I just want to die.
Lemonade diet/master cleanse success?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 07:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tu4ln/lemonade_dietmaster_cleanse_success/
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[removed]
[Intro] Is this a place for me?
/u/ibizadaydreams [5'1 | CW126 | 23.8 | GW95| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 07:26:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tu30i/is_this_a_place_for_me/
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Back in the day I was all about Xanga, does anyone remember that? I found it helpful to find support and a place to keep track of everything. If I'm posting this in the wrong spot please direct me to where I should go. I'm new at this.
A bit about me...although never diagnosed or got professional help I guess I would consider myself recovered from anorexia with bulimic tendencies.
From age 12-21 I was always very thin, restricting constantly, exercising for hours a day, abusing laxatives and going through cycles of binging/purging every month or so.
Eventually it all just sort of stopped. I stopped hanging out with my group of friends. I left my abusive boyfriend and stopped sleeping around. I moved across the country and started a new life with someone who really made me happy.
I'm 27 now. I have gone back a bit and restricted, but mostly binging/purging. It's been about 6 years now and I went from doing absolutely everything I could to stay below 89-93lbs, and now what feels like out of nowhere I'm 126lbs. I don't know how it happened. I went a long time without weighing myself. About 3 years ago and I was at 112 and I cried for days when I saw the scale.
We moved back home and we have been here for about 2 years now and I feel like I've been miserable ever since. The binging/purging happens more often. My weight went from 112-124 without me even knowing.
We just got back from a family vacation and I can't even look at the pictures. I've never been more disappointed in myself. I don't know how I went 6 years or so ignoring these thoughts in my head. Eating and not worrying about it.
Something snapped in me after looking at our vacation pictures. It's constant now. I don't know how to hide this from my husband. I don't have any friends here anymore, I don't want to reconnect with my old ones.
I'm so disgusted with myself.
[Discussion] August 15th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttvq9/august_15th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What do you like best about your body today?
I like this one and I think we could all use the positivity ☺️
[Discussion] What wearable tracker do you use, and what does it do for you?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:39:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttu1p/what_wearable_tracker_do_you_use_and_what_does_it/
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I would love to buy some sort of tracker to get a better idea of what I'm burning a day, especially because I fidget a lot, but I have no idea where to start. Do you use one? What kind is it? Does it just track your steps or can it do other things like estimate TDEE more accurately than an online calculator?
Edit: mobile, can't flair, I guess it would be under help or discussion?
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:10:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttp7p/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_15_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:10:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttp6o/daily_food_diary_august_15_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 15, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Everything's too much
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW139 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW121]
Created: Tue Aug 15 06:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttnk2/everythings_too_much/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Trying to look good while tracking my steps 🏃♀️
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 05:55:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttmkz/trying_to_look_good_while_tracking_my_steps/
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Hi ladies! I have a silver original Apple Watch I got for Christmas a while back but honestly never wear because I find it so ugly hahah, I know a lot of you talk about fitbits and other trackers, so I'm wondering if you have any tips on how to make them more everyday wearable? Do you have any suggestions for affordable/pretty bands I could buy for my Apple Watch? Thank youuu!
I fail at everything, so I clinch to my ED
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | -37kg overall l f]
Created: Tue Aug 15 05:06:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttf7o/i_fail_at_everything_so_i_clinch_to_my_ed/
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[removed]
[Help] How many calories in glucose tablets?
/u/applesforhungry
Created: Tue Aug 15 04:31:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ttah6/how_many_calories_in_glucose_tablets/
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Hey I've been super lightheaded lately so I just took two glucose tablets but I don't know how many calories they would be? I know the lucozade ones are 13 each so I've counted as 26 but I just got store brand which aren't flavoured so idk if calories would be lower?
[Help] Don't know where else to go - inbetweenie
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | CW 155 | 25.12 | GW 128 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 04:18:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tt8w0/dont_know_where_else_to_go_inbetweenie/
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I know this is a sub for people not ready for recovery, but this post is about my recovery attempt. I'm just not ready for something like fuckeatingdisorders and I don't have any friends who know in real life.
I've been doing so well. So fucking well. I'm so proud of myself. i've been eating 1900-2100 calories a day and working out and i've lost 3 pounds in a month the right way. I'm so happy. But I'm falling into a huge depression again. i can feel it and I can see it. My room is a mess. There's trash everywhere, I can barely shower sometimes, my acne is ridiculous, etc. An ex who I tried to block (and forgot about with skype) messaged me, demanding closure. and for the first time tonight I have a huge drive to binge eat until I'm in pain, because I feel so worthless, and I feel like I don't deserve the relationship I'm currently in, and I feel like i was unfair to my ex even though every rational part of me knows that isn't true, I don't like where i'm living, I feel very alone, and I always used to handle this by eating until I would want to google when to go to the ER to get your stomach pumped.
The point is, i really don't want to. I just don't know what to tell the voice in my head that keeps screaming at me to be the little piggy i'm supposed to be and to show the world what trash i am by wearing it on the outside. I feel so torn. The part of me that hates myself wants to feel my stomach swelling outwards until it feels like it will literally burst, and wants to scrape up my mouth by chewing too quickly. And then the other part of me is trying to chant mantras like "you are worthy". I just don't want this so much.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong sub, but it's not like i can take this to loseit
has anyone been here before?
[Intro] Manifestation and current Relapse
/u/croquix
Created: Tue Aug 15 03:40:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tt47e/manifestation_and_current_relapse/
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Hi. I'm not too keen on the formatting here but I just need to get this out. Maybe it'll help me. I've never gone to treatment and there are no support groups near me. I'm also sketched out by hotlines. About me: Male 22, 5'8, 132.9 lbs as of tonight. Something positive: I love fashion design and am always drawing looks
About two summers ago I was living on my own after having left an apartment I shared with my troubled older brother I dote on. The reason I left: my brother had become a raging opiate addict and was stealing my money and skipping out on his rent for about half a year. I realized I was enabling his addiction and managed to secure a room with an elderly woman who in her old age, desperately needed a roommate on top of her daytime aides. Within a week he quit his terrible kitchen job and checked himself into an in-patient program. I was extremely proud of his resolve to live soberly; we lost our father to heroin before I was born and our mother when I was 17 to suboxones, the drug he'd become addicted to (never did heroin, just started suboxone "blues" because his friends did).
In the same month, my bf had left for boot camp with ANG. So I was truly alone for the first time in my life, incredibly poor, and no stranger to ED tendencies. Left to my own devices in that decrepit 19th century house (think odor and bugs, lots of them) I did whatever I wanted. With so little money, it was very easy to get accostumed to fasting, which continued even as my finances improved. I became very obsessive of everything I consumed. On days I didn't eat I'd chug green tea intermittently to avoid a gut, and on days I did eat (350-700kcals) I'd restrict fluids trying to get "cut". I started a disgustingly wasteful habit of biting, chewing and then spitting food into the trash to satiate my cravings. Everyday that summer I'd walk between 5-10 miles before getting home where I'd lift weights. I was so anxious some nights I'd dance/workout/go for runs until the sun rose. When I would eat, I opted for calorically dense, small foods like chocolate or liquid fuel like coffee. Regardless of calories though, if I ate something remotely filling I'd consider purging it and frequently I did.
People noticed. Very unoriginal comments from friends, family, and customers like: Auchwitz victim (fuck that ex-friend), too thin, eat more, can't your mother cook she needs to feed you some macaroni (this one actually bothered me for days). Feeling I deserved a relaxing summer, I saved my money and quit my job. Things took a turn for the worse, I found out my bf had been sleeping around so I started to as well. We weren't mad at first, but my insecurities got the better of me. His personality got really warped as did mine while away at boot camp, and we weren't getting along. I went to the beach and blacked out drinking Kraken+151 then awoke in an ambulance with none of my things or my friends. Completely mortified with my mistake, at that point my goal was to harm myself and I was purging 4-7 times a week. Then we broke up, and I spent about three days re-evaluating my self worth while sustaining myself with green tea, Hershey's and brutal running. By day three I noticed how weak I felt, and an empty/waivering feeling in my chest. That day I decided I wanted to live and reconcile my relationship.
My rehab food plumped brother completed his program, moved into a halfway home and started inviting me to AA meetings with him. I was still poor so I didn't exactly gain weight immediately but my obsessiveness found a new goal in fixing my life. In a week's time I picked up a new job plus an odd job working security at a beach night club. My boyfriend and I forgave eachother and nearly every aspect of my life has improved. We moved in together and have the best dog in the world.
Up until june 26th I've only had 10-12 small slips with my disordered eating. My brother is no longer sober or pudgy but now he goes to a real doctor for his prescription. His attitude and appearance has changed though and he's incredibly disrespectful at times. My oldest brother who's a new father is doing subs without a 'script. On top of that my bf of nearly 8 years is watching his parents begin a separation, so there are definitely some circumstances worrying me as of late.
The day after a work related feast, I met up with my brother. At 142lbs that day, my small gut caught his attention and he slapped my belly.
"You're belly is bigger than mine now!"
I firmly told him he could critique or comment on anything else but my body, because I still struggle with unhealthy behaviors. He denied that I have disordered eating and told me I can't expect people to coddle me. I told him I only expect it from him.
I tried to pretend I was fine, I even let myself go up to 145.2lbs before freaking out and purging (sometimes at work). I've taken up running at much longer distances than I used to, drinking straight alcohol or smoking bud beforehand to dull the aches. 11.5 miles in a night is my peak so far, and some weeks I total at 36+miles. I've only slowly started restricting, managing to weigh 127.8 lbs two weeks ago after fasting. My manager at work might be onto my shenanigans. In the last week I purged at least 3 times. Ultimately 120lbs or less is where I'm trying to get and I'm lying to myself trying to believe I'll still feel healthy when I do but fuck I love my visible bones.
I didn't know where else to go with this but a safe space to talk might help. I'm a mess 😓
[Discussion] [TRIGGER WARNING : reasons to recover] I kinda can't compute this. I know but i don't know but i know but i don't wanna know
/u/cannibale101 [5'4" | Not happy with this anymore]
Created: Tue Aug 15 03:14:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tt10l/trigger_warning_reasons_to_recover_i_kinda_cant/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ie8dbN16Tc
I literally cannot lose weight linearly
/u/stickbuggy [6'1.5" | 190lb | 23.5 | -60lb | F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 03:05:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tszvs/i_literally_cannot_lose_weight_linearly/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Was at my GW in May and now I'm miserable
/u/bagofhair666 [Height 5'3" | CW 120 | GW 105 | GenderF]
Created: Tue Aug 15 02:31:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsvx8/was_at_my_gw_in_may_and_now_im_miserable/
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Sorry for the woe-is-me rant to come:
I was at my goal weight, looking cute and feeling cute, and now my weight has crept up until none of my clothes fit and no one would EVER call me thin now. I look *Healthy*. Zaftig even.
I can't believe I let this happen. I went from a 21" waist to 25" as of this morning. It will take me ages to get back to where I was, if I can even get there. I don't want anyone to see me fat again! I loved the attention I got for being thin, either praise or worry. Now people will comment on how I have my appetite back.
Does anyone have advice on accepting weight gain or making sure it's only temporary.
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I'll ever poop normally again (and other thoughts from a 3am bloated bellied me who needs your help)
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Tue Aug 15 01:11:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsmcq/i_dont_think_ill_ever_poop_normally_again_and/
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*Scroll to bottom for pertinent info and relating questions I have for you lovely readers.*
Me 4 days ago: I'm going to fast until vacation
Me after one day of the fast: lol jk
I'm not mad at myself for giving up or at least not as mad as I thought I'd be. The last few days have been painfully slow and would've been torturous when starving. But I am upset that I'm so goddamn bloated. I'm not upset that I've overeaten every day since my one day fast and the two days before it. I don't consider it binging.
They told me in IOP that if a deer were in the woods and hadn't eaten in days and saw a bush of berries, it wouldn't just have half the bush for fear of lacking willpower. Extreme hunger isn't something I feel as much guilt for. It's binges when I haven't restricted that truly upset me.
Regardless, though, I've still tried to lax/senna/whoosh my way back down to where I was before this week give or take a pound. It's not working. I have had maybe 4 lil rabbit turds this week and one big satisfying lax induced mess right after I broke my fast. I am so ridiculously bloated.
Among others, my problem is that I will eat any food put in front of me. I feel like this has only gotten worse this relapse and it's fucking me over. I ordered a mini pizza at dinner tonight and wanted to only eat half but kept going to "not be wasteful."
I'm going on vacation today for my birthday (it's on Thursday woo) and I am behind schedule of where I could have been. I want to try to lose weight on my vacation but it seems impossible. I've planned some long bike rides so hopefully I will go through with doing them. Constant eating out and birthday desserts are going to be testing my willpower and I need to remind myself it's okay to be wasteful.
I can't wait for school to start. To be in the land of portion control, meal plans, meal prep, walking everywhere, and therapy. I want to be in a safe happy zone. I am so stressed out by my family.
2 weeks until my appointment with my treatment team and I'm not going to drop all this water weight plus 5 pounds of fat. It's unrealistic but I'm lowering my expectations and hoping they will see this relapse in whatever number I am. At the very fucking least, I need to stay below 98 to be underweight. At the least, I need to be 95 to be what my doctor considered "the lowest she'd accept." I would very much like to be at 93 to have wiggle room. I'd love to be 90 to really worry everyone. I'd be over the fucking moon to be back in the 80s but I might actually start getting in trouble at that weight.
No matter what, I need their concern because my family sucks. I need validation to get back to being better.
>Questions: Best tips for getting this water weight to flow through me? I'm drinking more water but it's just sitting there too. What's a realistic weight goal to have for 2 weeks from now? Like how much of this ~4 pounds is realistically water weight?
>Also, random but I was going to invite my mom to help me move in to my new apartment. We have a bad relationship and I wanted to be nice but she's already stressing me out about the situation (saying she'll hang around all day, making comments about my room being shitty, complaining about gas and time wasted, generally pissing me off) and now I want to uninvite her. I want to put myself first but I don't know if it's the right hill to die on. What would you do?
[Help] Fasting and Diet Pills and Electrolytes, these are a few of my favorite things.
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: 125 (ugh recovery) | GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 15 00:37:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsi03/fasting_and_diet_pills_and_electrolytes_these_are/
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Sorry to double post, I hope this isn't against any rules. I have a few questions id love input in, and I thought it'd make the most sense to squish them in one post.
I am doing my first fast in a long time, because I'm so desperate for that empty feeling and also weight loss (duh). but anyway, what do folks do in order to avoid bingeing after words? This has always been a challenge for me.
On a not completely unrelated note, how do you make sure your electrolytes aren't fucked up? I can never tell if its blood sugar or electrolytes or whatever but I always used to end up feeling so so awful and shaking and have to break my fast and I'm wondering If there are preventative measures I can take.
Lastly, and I'm sure this has been asked a thousand times, but has anyone tried any diet pills/ supplements that actually work? Im flirting with the idea of picking EC stacks back up but they fucked with my mood immensely and I'm slightly worried about my heart since it got quite weak before I started treatment.
Thank you all so much for being the supportive, incredible people that you are.
[Discussion] If you have a food journal, how do you format it?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 15 00:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsgi3/if_you_have_a_food_journal_how_do_you_format_it/
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I am making one currently but I think its ugly right now and I don't have fun writing in it. Can you guys leave a picture of how your journal looks?
Scared about school
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:57:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tscns/scared_about_school/
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[removed]
[Intro] Well, I'm back
/u/lilmdjd [5'2 | CW: 125 (ugh recovery) | GW: 100| 22F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:55:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tscej/well_im_back/
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I used to be around a lot, but ended up having medical complications and getting talked into treatment. I discharged about a month and a half ago, after 4 months of PHP treatment. I was forced to 'weight restore' and gained a disgusting amount of weight. I already feel myself relapsing and I feel like the only thing I got out of treatment was the realization that this isn't at all about being thin, I just am severely mentally ill and hate myself a lot. SO thats fun. Recently broke up with the only person I have ever been in love with because he treated me awfully. The point of all this is I missed you all, and I am back in business. Let's play 'how fast can I lose this recovery weight?' Let the shit show begin.
[Thinspo] Waist goals 💕
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:50:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsbr6/waist_goals/
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https://i.redd.it/yi2xww9ubufz.jpg
[Discussion] So is it 100 calories or 130 calories?!
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Mon Aug 14 23:45:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tsb07/so_is_it_100_calories_or_130_calories/
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My dad got some popcorn from the store, I went to read the nutrition label and it says 1 bag is 130 unpopped but 100 calories popped. I just would like to know...how is that even possible? *that gif of Oprah asking so what is the truth* I'm just logging 130 to be safe smh
[Rant/Rave] Will the plateau ever end?
/u/missdreavuss
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:18:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trxr6/will_the_plateau_ever_end/
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[removed]
[Other] NSWF: I actually sort of like my body in this picture? I just got laid by a stranger after 4 years of being in a monogamous dead bedroom relationship so maybe that has something to do with it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:18:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trxmg/nswf_i_actually_sort_of_like_my_body_in_this/
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https://i.redd.it/l1a4snx9vtfz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm freaking out over nothing right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:04:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trvai/im_freaking_out_over_nothing_right_now/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] dYsmoRphiA
/u/posyposer [5'4 | 135 | 23.2 | -38 | f]
Created: Mon Aug 14 22:02:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6truv8/dysmorphia/
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I'm sitting in my bed sobbing and feeling absolutely fucking psychotic because I'm looking at myself in the mirror and looking at old pictures of myself and I don't see a difference!!!! Even though the scale shows that I've lost so much weight I still feel so fat and I feel like I look so fat!!!!!!!! I want to tell myself it's not true but I can't believe it when I'm looking in the mirror and all I see is fat!!!!!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] post binge thoughts
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Mon Aug 14 21:39:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trqvy/post_binge_thoughts/
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(rant flair please)
okay, so i've been in a binge cycle for two weeks now. first of all, FUCK.
all the guilt is hitting me now. i hate food i never want it in me again. at the same time i fucking love it. i want to go to the cabinets and eat all the peanut butter mixed with rice crispy cereal and then eat all the sweet yogurts and then all the apples.
fuck this is awful. i've gained probably ten pounds. tomorrow i eat 150 calories of vegetables for breakfast/lunch and then i exercise until i cant move.
i hope i can get down to a reasonable weight by the convention.
FUCK, the convention
i'm cosplaying two thin characters and i wont be thin enough.
UGH i want to go out and buy laxatives tomorrow but my little sister is here so ill just drink shitloads of coffee to help (sorry, probs tmi, but this is an ED sub, i feel like we can do that)
poem about binging
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Mon Aug 14 21:29:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6troy5/poem_about_binging/
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[removed]
[Other] starting my first 48 hour fast
/u/bombay- [5'9 | CW 160 | GW1 130 | 23.6 | 16F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 20:50:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trhnk/starting_my_first_48_hour_fast/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Aug 14 20:30:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6trdtu/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/knnqpmk4ctfz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Remembered I'm a fat fuck
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 20:07:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr98c/remembered_im_a_fat_fuck/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Hunger is the best spice
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr4us/hunger_is_the_best_spice/
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The thing I enjoy about high restricting - when I eat, every bite tastes SO GOOD. I take tiny bites so I can savor everything longer.
When I prepare food, I make sure it is tasty and seasoned and has the little bit of fat it needs to bring out the flavor, even though that sacrifices the quantity of food I can eat for the calories I am allowed.
It's true (for me anyway). Hunger is the best spice.
On of those days jfc
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr3p9/on_of_those_days_jfc/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] God I'm useless
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:36:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tr36d/god_im_useless/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE have a crazy fear of going bald (or losing teeth)
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Mon Aug 14 19:12:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqylh/dae_have_a_crazy_fear_of_going_bald_or_losing/
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I think the main reason i binge is because my anxiety tells me i'm going bald and that i have to eat...for my hair lol
It's so annoying but at least i have pretty small binges that rarely make me gain weight :/ it's still annoying though.
[Rant/Rave] Way too excited for this "relapse"
/u/shortchair [5'6" | 106 lbs | 17.18| -60 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 18:51:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqu33/way_too_excited_for_this_relapse/
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Summer was a disaster. I had very little control over my food. I told myself I would just eat like a normal person but I ended up restricting for 3 weeks, binging and purging for 3 weeks, and then pretty much straight up shoving whatever I wanted in my mouth for the last 3 weeks. By the time I got home I felt enormous and figured I gained 20 pounds. Once the water weight was gone i realized I looked pretty much the same. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway, clothes are a teeny bit tighter so I'm back on track with high restriction. Haven't seen a number on the scale for like 3 months but I think I'll stay away from it for now. Life is falling apart even more than usual so this is all I have. Ha Ha. Anyway good to be back hi.
[Humor] So very #relatable
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 18:35:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqqzd/so_very_relatable/
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https://i.redd.it/kkrmeytlrsfz.jpg
[Other] Poem of my life
/u/Xoena [5'4 | CW 131lbs | 22.49 (Stdnd) | GW 120lbs | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:26:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tqck6/poem_of_my_life/
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I hate myself
Lose weight
Lose weigh
Lose weig
Lose wei
Lose we
Lose w
Lose
Binge it all
Gain
Gain w
Gain we
Gain wei
Gain weig
Gain weigh
Gain weight
Start all over
[Discussion] Are any of your eating disorders triggered by rejection?
/u/whittlebone
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq9yv/are_any_of_your_eating_disorders_triggered_by/
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This is my third relapse into anorexia. Two of them came from stress and depression around academic achievement, but the WORST ones have been triggered by specific instances of the fact that I felt undesirable to a romantic or sexual partner. Idk of you guys can share stories or what. I feel like a crazy person right now haha I have had like two pieces of beef jerky over the past two days and am just spiralling into the ✨hungry sads✨ and just want to know I'm not alone
Fml.
There's always a catch
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq9bf/theres_always_a_catch/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Want to be helpful but also...
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'1 / CW:108 / BMI: 20.4 / GW: 85]
Created: Mon Aug 14 17:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq7gh/want_to_be_helpful_but_also/
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My flat mate (who is by no means overweight) is looking to get in shape. Her knowledge when it comes to weight loss is so misinformed. I want to correct her but I always come out sounding too knowledgeable about weight loss and she doesn't know about the ed. The shitty part is I'm kinda happy her ideas about weight loss are wrong because I want to stay smaller than her without competition. I'm caught between wanting to help an educate even though it might out my disordered eating and keeping my mouth shut so I can win the weight loss competition in my head.
[Other] Can I just talk about some things going on in my life?
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Too Much| LW: 146 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 16:49:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tq4fe/can_i_just_talk_about_some_things_going_on_in_my/
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Nothing serious is happening just wanted to type some things.
I'm moving to Hawaii to live with my aunt in about a month and a half. I'm nowhere near my goal weight but I'm still excited. Sometimes I want to feel good about my body but then I see myself in the mirror and realize I can't. It doesn't really help that my aunt is 50, my height, and an XS. She's shaped like a board and I'm more pear shaped so I probably shouldn't use her as goals but I kinda do anyway. I wonder what it will be like living in a city after living in bumfuck Alabama my whole life.
My Fitbit is on its last leg, I really hope it can last until the end of he month when I get paid. I have the Charge HR now and I'm looking to either get the Charge 2 or the Alta HR, I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to view the eclipse with a friend on the 21st! I'm going to spend the weekend with her and we're gonna get FUCKED THE FUCK UP!!
I forgot everything else I wanted to type because I kept getting distracted. I guess that's the end of my rambling 🙇🏾♀️
[Rant/Rave] My grandma is really annoying sometimes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:59:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpsuu/my_grandma_is_really_annoying_sometimes/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] it's the shame mostly
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpsj5/its_the_shame_mostly/
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in standing in walmart matching tattoo concealer to my arm because i self harm relapsed. i pick up 3 different ice creams. and i wait in the self checkout line just embarrassed that this is my life. in some nowhere ass town doing nothing having no social life or any measurable achievements
like i get one piece of bad news and this is it? this is how i deal? i'm an adult who never learned a healthy way to cope and now my arms are bruised up for the first time in years because i can't control myself. and nothing is fixed the news is still bad, i still feel like shit and nothing helped
[Other] Tough Day
/u/danimarie82 [5'6" | CW: 185 | GW: 120 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpr3o/tough_day/
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I'm fairly new to this subreddit and have mostly just been a lurker, but I had a really bad binge day today and just wanted to get my feelings out there with people who understand the struggle.
As a bit of a background on myself, I have had various disordered eating habits for almost 20 years now (mostly binge eating and restricting). Purging in the traditional sense has never been a part of my routine...I tend to compensate by restricting, fasting, and exercising. I work in a school and as a result have summers off and sometimes that makes controlling the behaviors more difficult, especially on days when I have no other plans. Days like today. I have been logging my calories in MyFitnessPal for over a year now but have never actually held myself accountable by logging the calories from a binge. This afternoon it was 2,500 calories and now I am sitting here feeling uncomfortably full and just overall really mad at myself.
I had plans to really commit to working out this summer, but they were slightly derailed when I had a bad flare-up from an existing back injury. Before the flare-up I was walking 3-4 additional miles after work each night and had started going back to the gym. Physical therapy helps to keep me accountable but that is on hold right now until we get the inflammation and pain under control. I am trying to do as many stretching and light weight exercises as I can at home in the meantime, but it's not enough to counteract the binges.
So if you made it to the end, thanks for reading and giving me a safe space to deal with my thoughts and feelings.
[Help] Does anyone have tips on how to avoid b/p on days off?
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:47:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpq21/does_anyone_have_tips_on_how_to_avoid_bp_on_days/
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sorry i tried posting this once but the app glitched and ate my text rip
Basically the only way I stop eating is by exercising, which is just another way to obsess over calories lmfao. I know I need to keep busy but food dominates my brain and it's so hard to stick to my goals when I don't have other obligations.
I used to spend my weekends on the treadmill but the base cracked in half :( I walk/run outside after the day cools down, but in the meantime I'm just... alone. With my thoughts. About FOOD.
It feels like there's no escape. I want to do things to distract myself but the thoughts are so overwhelming that it leaves me too tired for friends or hobbies.
Have you guys gone through this? What helped you? What are things you can do to pass the time that don't require much mental energy?
or i guess if nothing helped you we can at least distract each other for a minute 😂
[Tip] Does anyone have tips for how to avoid b/p on days off?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tppa4/does_anyone_have_tips_for_how_to_avoid_bp_on_days/
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[deleted]
[Help] has anybody tried calorie cycling?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:23:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpkj4/has_anybody_tried_calorie_cycling/
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[removed]
has anybody tried calorie cycling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:22:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpkbe/has_anybody_tried_calorie_cycling/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does anyone else have a hard time losing weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 15:06:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tpgpr/does_anyone_else_have_a_hard_time_losing_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fucked up things with another guy. Motivation to restrict is back.
/u/Elope
Created: Mon Aug 14 13:20:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6toqxl/fucked_up_things_with_another_guy_motivation_to/
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I showed up to a date drunk. Who the fuck does that? This guy, apparently. I apologized quite profusely, and he seemed to accept. He hasn't messaged me since, though, so I think he's done. I fucked up things with the last guy I liked over being drunk too.
Oh well. Restriction fuel is restriction fuel.
[Rant/Rave] Something I Really Hate...
/u/spoilyourappetite
Created: Mon Aug 14 13:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6too6y/something_i_really_hate/
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[removed]
[Help] has anyone experienced bronkaid side effects?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:57:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tol57/has_anyone_experienced_bronkaid_side_effects/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] When EDs make you happy to be sick.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:53:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tok95/when_eds_make_you_happy_to_be_sick/
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Last night my throat started hurting. A lot. Woke up and it's definitely tonsillitis. My tonsils have bothered me a lot for years, but it still sucks.
However, today is also Day 1 of my 12 week plan I wrote last week. It's 12 week until the Guns n Roses concert and my birthday. I love writing out long plans and all those details.
My first thought being sick? I can do a week-long liquid fast with no one questioning it.
It's been harder to restrict since being home for the summer, but thankfully this will help.
I remember how excited I was to get the stomach flu a few months back. ED brains are weird.
[Rant/Rave] I'm a size 6???
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:50:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tojlg/im_a_size_6/
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Not sure if rant about vanity sizing or raving that I've dropped four dress sizes since late May. Both, I suppose. I'm borderline normal/overweight (135lbs but not updating til I stay under for a week) and yet somehow I'm a single digit size for the first time in my adult life. When I look into the mirror I still look like I did forty to fifty pounds ago so having to keep going back for a smaller and smaller size was baffling to me. That size 6 dress slipped on nicely and zipped up. I couldn't have dreamed of that even just yesterday. I'm sorry if I'm babbling this is just a mind trip for me and I had to share with people who could maybe understand. Thank you for reading <3
[Discussion] What are your daily schedules like?
/u/l0seme [5'7" | CW 132 | BMI 20.67 | -13 | UGW 110 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:27:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6todtc/what_are_your_daily_schedules_like/
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Hey! So I'm starting a new job in a few weeks and I'm trying to plan my life lol
My hours are gonna be 9-5, and I want to have an hour of exercising everyday. It would be easiest to exercise in the morning because I have other things (clubs etc) I'm a part of on some evenings but I'm really awful at the whole "morning" thing, and getting up at 6am to go to the gym sounds like basically hell.
So what do you guys do? I'd be super interested to see a breakdown of everyone's days!
[Rant/Rave] I actually wanted to eat this time
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:22:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tockn/i_actually_wanted_to_eat_this_time/
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My mom can really fuck up my mood sometimes. I was making my boyfriend a Taylor ham, egg and cheese sandwich (Jersey thing) and fucked up the egg cause the yolk broke. So my mom decides to just throw another egg on top of the one I was cooking, fuck it up even more, and just tell me it was fine. Idk why it pissed me off so much but I gave my boyfriend his sandwich and said sorry for fucking the whole thing up. I was gonna make myself one but didn't even want to stay in the kitchen anymore, and totally lost whatever appetite I had.
Now I'm just in the bathroom stupidly crying. I feel like an idiot but I'm also really mad.
[Rant/Rave] So this is recovery...
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | -37kg overall l f]
Created: Mon Aug 14 12:21:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6toc8j/so_this_is_recovery/
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I stop purging by vomiting every few weeks in an attempt to 'recover'. I become very proud of myself each time.
But I still think about food all day, how I eat it, how I want it. Walking up and down in the kitchen like an addict.
I plan my restriction when I binged. Counting every calorie.
But hey, I didn't vomit.
Not yet.
Relapse is coming soon, as always. At least when I see my weight is going up.
I have no idea how to stop.
[Discussion] "If I'm not eating disordered then I can't enjoy/like/do _______"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6to24c/if_im_not_eating_disordered_then_i_cant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck clothes shops
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:33:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6to01b/fuck_clothes_shops/
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On mobile please flair as rant thanks xx
Okay so I was in this shop (Only) and I'm thinking I need new black jeans cos mine are super faded and there's a sale on plus I've lost some weight so why not. I'm not even that big right now, I'm at 54kg. So I thought, why not try in these gorgeous looking soft black high waisted jeans. After rooting through the pile finally found a size small for my leg length (30") and went into the changing room.
WELL I COULDNT EVEN GET THEM ON. I don't know if I've put on weight or if the sizing is fucked up but it completely ruined my day and my BF was with me and kept asking why I didn't buy them which was humiliating AF. Sorry this was just really upsetting and set me back so yay here's to a week of hardcore restricting until friday !!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Told my bf my UGW and he didn't like it, and also my friend accidentally made me cry
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 200 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:23:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnxe0/told_my_bf_my_ugw_and_he_didnt_like_it_and_also/
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I'm not really sure why I even told him, I knew he wouldn't- I guess because it isn't technically underweight he'd be okay with it. I told him I wanted to be 110, and he said I should not consider anything under 130. He said my frame is too big for 110, and that he wanted me to be curvy anyway :(
I dunno, it bummed me out- I've always thought my ribs are too wide or my shoulders too broad to really be tine, and I guess I was right. It's a bummer because I remember him telling me he liked tiny girls like 2 years before we started dating. He says he wants me to be curvy, but I feel like it's just because I don't have the potential to really be small.
2nd mini sadsack rant:
I was also talking to my friend the other day, and I was telling him about new halo top flavors (<3) and he said I needed to train with dairy queen (wtf) and I'm like, no nice try, and he says that I appreciate food. And I say, yeah why do you think I'm fat, and then he says, it's so fun eating with you. And he just keeps going on about who's gonna bake cake and make burgers with him, and I just got really upset and was like, "jesus christ dude, what are you doing to me." Then he asks if I'm mad at him or something, and I'm like no, just read the room, damn. And this was all over text, so he's like, we're not in the same room.
Like, what the hell? He knows I'm trying not to be a fat fuck and he just has to dangle the carrot anyway. Like I know he's kind of an idiot, but seriously?
I love food so much- I love cooking and baking, and trying new things, my family is italian for christ sake, and my parents met at the culinary institute of america. It's so important to me and my family, and it represents so much to me. And now I feel like I have to break up with my best friend to not feel like absolute shit about myself every day. And that's what made me cry.
This is kind of a mess, thanks for listening everyone, you guys are the best <3
[Rant/Rave] Why am I a failure?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnwty/why_am_i_a_failure/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I was supposed to go to the gym this morning but convinced myself I needed to sleep and do laundry instead. This is going to weigh heavily on my mind all day. If I don't work out I feel like I let myself down.
I managed to work out my binging from last week in two or three days of really long straineous gym days. It's a new week and I am not starting it off at a deficit.
I want to hurt for my failure. I still have food in my house I can eat but it's not worth it. I can't be bloated for my tattoo on Thursday. (See earlier post). Food isn't worth it. It's hard to even justify a cup of black coffee or a sugar free popsicle (5 or so calories for coffee or 15 for a popsicle.) I need to be at a 1000 calorie deficit to get to my goal and maybe even more to make up for fucking up most of this month.
I am close to my lowest weight in 3 years and I still feel like a failure.
I also weigh less than my younger athletic brother and still feel like a failure because he has more muscle and is still leaner and skinnier.
I feel bad because my friend who started at my work as a dishwasher still hasn't gotten his first pay check or any tips and is living on one meal from work plus whatever i make him. I tell myself he needs food more than I do. His twin brother and him weigh less than me but have worse body composition. They both have protruding bloated stomachs. They look like fat frogs with their skinny arms and legs and old guy ponches.
I hate myself. I have two days left of work. Two days off then another busy day of work. The one thing I am looking foreword to is my tattoo and if I binge before my appointment I may just cancel and lose my deposit because wouldn't feel deserving of it and would be too ashamed of my artist seeing my bloated torso.
I just feel so low right now.
Willow.
[Help] I can't tell if I'm making a rational decision
/u/Princess_FudderDudd
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:13:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnucg/i_cant_tell_if_im_making_a_rational_decision/
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I regained the 15 pounds I lost this past year, and I came back from vacation yesterday thinking that this is it, I'm back on track. I want to do keto but I can't tell if that's actually a good idea or if it's going to turn into another diet phase that ends in me ruining it and wasting another few months not losing any weight, and I should just do CICO from the start... I know for a fact CICO works but my brain always wants to have a "diet". Last month it was being vegan. Guess how that went when I spent the last week eating carne asada fries. Anyways, I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this here but I don't have anyone else to talk to about it.
Forgot to add, I did keto a few years ago and didn't lose any weight. Idk why I think this time will be different
[Rant/Rave] Days I spend with my family are the worst.
/u/littledutchbird [5'8" | 150 lbs | BMI 22.5 | 35 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 14 11:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnrnr/days_i_spend_with_my_family_are_the_worst/
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I still live at home but my job, my boyfriend, and my friends are in a different city. So I commute and spend most of my time away from home. But on the few days I do stay home, there is so much damn good in that house. Junk food, baked goods etc... My willpower is so shit and now I hate myself after spending the whole weekend there.
[Discussion] Attempting maintenance soon; for people that are maintaining, what do you eat in a day?
/u/hbastion [5'2 | 18.66/19.33 | GW: 18.29/18.95 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 10:54:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnpz5/attempting_maintenance_soon_for_people_that_are/
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I'm not entirely sure what my current weight is because I'm retaining water (and I uh.. haven't been consuming enough fiber lately..) but I know I'm very close to my current GW, if I haven't already reached it yet.
Maintenance sounds impossible to me. Any planned higher-cal days I've attempted in the past year or so have just resulted in either a binge day or even worse, a binge *cycle*. But, I can't keep continuing at this intake or I'll just lose more and more weight and that isn't appropriate for me at this time given my current living situation.
So, in a couple weeks (or even days) once I find out my true weight and/or hit my GW, I'll be needing to raise my cals from 600-800 to 1300-1400.
For people that have been maintaining, what is your current daily meal plan? How easy or difficult are you finding maintenance in general?
[Help] questions about bronkaid
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 10:51:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnpdm/questions_about_bronkaid/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I remember why I never used to weigh myself every day
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Mon Aug 14 10:09:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tnf0e/i_remember_why_i_never_used_to_weigh_myself_every/
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I can't help it right now and it's driving me crazy the way the numbers NEVER MAKE ANY SENSE. If I could bring it back down to once a week or so, I'd see consistent weight loss. But instead I fast for 2 days and weigh and see no change, then eat "normally" and dread weighing and lose 1/2 lb. I'm starting to feel like fasting isn't helping even though I know it makes no sense because of these confusing numbers and ahhhhh
[Rant/Rave] tfw you binge but end up lighter
/u/sewnp [5'6"/CW:161/UGW:99/NB]
Created: Mon Aug 14 09:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tncc1/tfw_you_binge_but_end_up_lighter/
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I had a really hard day at work yesterday and ended up drinking/eating my feelings around ~1600 calories. Which, in retrospect isn't considered a lot to people outside this community?? But when you're like me and can't eat over 500 without feeling guilty then it's a fuckton.
Anyways, I was even more depressed after I woke up from my drunk nap and wasn't feeling too keen on weighing myself then bc of shame. Now, this morning I sucked it up to see what damage I had caused and how heavy my body was from all the garbage I consumed, but surprise surprise!! I was the same weight!!!!
I'm so happy and relieved I feel like I can actually live with myself a little more now :')
Ok that's all, thank you for listening and stuff. 💕
[Rant/Rave] Binge Spectating [RAN]
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 09:49:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tna5z/binge_spectating_ran/
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Set the scene: I am working in the SILENT study area of my university library today, as my office is being de-mothed (hahah). There is a strict no-eating / no-drinking policy except in designated areas (i.e. far away). I am also fasting today.
Plot twist: A really fat girl has come and sat opposite me, and I have just watched her work her way through two bags of crisps. Slowly. Torturously. She's now on a Mars bar. There's a sandwich and an apple lined up. And a coke.
CRUNCH CRUNCH MUNCH MUNCH
I swear is about to become
PUNCH PUNCH.
Honestly, it is driving me up the wall. I want to scream at her about how disgusting she is being forcing someone to listen to her eat for almost an hour. Not to mention that it's not allowed and just REPULSIVE AND WRONG IN EVERY WAY. I can't even move desks because my computer is running a long simulation.
TL;DR - SEND HELP OH GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.
[Help] Question about EC stacks
/u/brita09234890235
Created: Mon Aug 14 09:15:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tn24c/question_about_ec_stacks/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My new scale is so friendly!
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | -37kg overall l f]
Created: Mon Aug 14 08:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmy4i/my_new_scale_is_so_friendly/
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It made me 3 kilos lighter. I have no idea if I should rave or have a little panic attack because I am so confused now lol!
[Discussion] Why do people with eating disorders seem so disproportionately female?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmino/why_do_people_with_eating_disorders_seem_so/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Legs Thinspiration 8.14
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:36:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmfy1/legs_thinspiration_814/
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http://imgur.com/a/5WwHh
[Humor] You have no idea babe
/u/thefreckledfox_ [5'8" | 176.2lbs | 26.50 | -42.8lbs | F | GW: dainty]
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tmd38/you_have_no_idea_babe/
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Last night for dinner my SO and I made salads (thank god) and I was chatting about how much I love Bolthouse Farms dressing because they're actually low-cal AND delicious. All of a sudden my bf stops, looks at me, and says "Do you know how many calories are in *everying??*
I just laughed really hard and was like "omg no that would be ridiculous I just have a general idea" but in my head I was like 2 cups of romaine (15), one hardboiled egg (70), two T dressing (45), etc etc..... 😂😂😂
[Thinspo] More B&W thinspo because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/u/That_O_N_E_Guy
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:09:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tma7u/more_bw_thinspo_because_ツ/
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http://i.imgur.com/qu96E9K.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop the vicious cycle.
/u/SkinnyWaifu [5'3 | fat | WL: -17.4 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm8n2/i_cant_stop_the_vicious_cycle/
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Last March - May I lost 23 lbs. What motivated me to do that is I had a cosplay planned for an event (D.va from Overwatch) and I refused to look like a fat blob in it. I didn't lose as much as I wanted, but for less than 3 months I thought the progress was great. I stopped drinking (I'm an alcoholic :c ) which lead to me eating FAR less than I normally would. I told myself, at the event I could eat whatever I wanted, because, of course, I earned it! Right? No. I gave up after that. I didn't have a reason to be skinny anymore. Depression hit an all time low and I started binge drinking/eating every. single. day. I wish I could find a middle ground so bad. It's either I eat until I'm sick or I hardly eat at all. Now that I have another event NEXT MONTH (I didn't realize it was coming up so fast ugh).. I'm finding myself going back into the starvation cycle. I don't know what to do. I'm sick of not being able to eat healthy and either eat until I'm about to explode or starve until my stomach feels like it's going to cave in. Thank you for reading~
Gained 15lbs. I'm motivated.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 07:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm8el/gained_15lbs_im_motivated/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm07p/weekly_stats_update_august_14_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 14, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tm06n/daily_food_diary_august_14_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 14, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Honestly tho fuck my supermarket
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:11:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlzs9/honestly_tho_fuck_my_supermarket/
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Finally got a coupon for Halo Top a few days ago, used today for Vanilla Bean and Birthday Cake bc my supermarket has crap selection. At check-out got another coupon. Atm HT is additionally on sale (never has been). Which *would* be a dream come true.
...It's like they *know* I'm leaving for Germany in two days.
:-/
[Help] does losing weight help get rid of cellulite?
/u/avakadava [5'6.5" | 137 | 21.8 | -17]
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:11:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlzom/does_losing_weight_help_get_rid_of_cellulite/
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[removed]
[Discussion] August 14th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 06:08:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlz9a/august_14th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Did you complete your to-do list for the day?
(Maybe morning/mid-day comments could be the list, then give an update later?)
[Discussion] Anyone else watch calorie challenges?
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 05:38:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlu0x/anyone_else_watch_calorie_challenges/
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like the 10,000,20,000,30,000 calorie challenges?
I watch them when restricting I don't know why XD
[Rant/Rave] Weekends are the worst.
/u/fatbatch
Created: Mon Aug 14 05:21:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlrdi/weekends_are_the_worst/
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All week at work I do really well and basically fast for five days apart from energy drinks for electrolytes (9 calories), supplements and chicken broth (14 calories a cup). I feel Light and dainty, my stomach feels flat and I feel in control. Then the weekend comes and I binge and order pizza, ice cream, chips and stuff myself silly and usually end up crying about how fat and disgusting I am. Then Monday comes and yep I'm fasting again and feel great. Why do I do this!?! Imagine how thin I would be if I fasted all the time.
My mind literally switches between 'you're not too fat, treat yourself!!' To 'you are massive and disgusting just stop eating'.
Just a rant. Sorry.
[Rant/Rave] Lying awake at night consumed by my thoughts...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 14 05:12:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlpz6/lying_awake_at_night_consumed_by_my_thoughts/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I an get a tattoo in my chest on Thursday afternoon and it is the one thing I actually feel content and happy about. I love tattoos and body art and modification because it's allowed me to offset my insecurity for my body. Growing up I was overweight and never imagined having tattoos and here I am going on number 13 or 14 on my chest no less.
My main motive is to keep an empty and flat stomach and chest until it's done even though this main in turn make things more painful. Body checking, I realize the area where I plan to be tattooed has little fat and is pretty much skin on top of bone. I have reasonable pain tolerance though I feel this may be the most painful yet. I fear the pain but look foreword to the thrill and release that comes from it.
I will fast and work out every morning until the day of and it will be my punishment and my reward. I deserve the pleasure and the pain for allowing my body to get so bad. I weighed myself to see if I worked off my binges from last week and I am back to pre-binge weight though I still find this unsatisfactory. Crunching my numbers my goal eight is still 10 to 12 weeks out with my strict and intense regimine.
Not soon enough. Maybe my new piece of are will give me more accountability to stay on track. I intend to push myself to the edge to make my goals in time. My life is on standstill til I meet my goals.
I will kill this fat and hallow shell and be reborn from my burned ashes, beautiful outside and still dead on the inside but at least with a more pleasing and fitting image to my mind.
Willow.
[Humor] 'Body Acceptance' Campaign
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 04:53:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tln72/body_acceptance_campaign/
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Imagine if we had entire campaigns dedicated to 'accepting our bodies' and all the little 'quirks' that come with my ED.
How would you design it?
Thinspo women and then a catchy phrase like 'the cheapest date you'll ever have!'??
What could be causing this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 14 04:19:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlilo/what_could_be_causing_this/
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http://i.imgur.com/kkUjgdX.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I don't feel like I am worth anything. I don't feel loveable.
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Mon Aug 14 03:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tlap9/i_dont_feel_like_i_am_worth_anything_i_dont_feel/
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This isn't really ED related, but it is at the same time. Because everything is ED related in my life so yep.
My thoughts are a huge disconnected jumble and I don't know how to put all the pieces together into a coherent paragraph so I'll just write one liners in no particular order. Don't feel obligated to read past this. It's all bullshit anyway.
I have this stupid dumb fucking lame ass crush on a guy who is in a relationship.
They aren't happy together but that doesn't matter.
I haven't dated anyone since 2014.
I thought I was gay until earlier this year when I realised I am attracted to specific people, not specific genders.
I can't stop bingeing and purging every single day.
I have gained weight and my flair is inaccurate.
I do too much weird disordered shit for anyone to find me attractive.
The shit I hide is too dark and heavy to share with another human again.
He was in my dream last night.
I am petrified of being vulnerable because it means you can get hurt.
I am scared of everything.
I feel stagnated in life.
I always want a connection with people who are unavailable in some way.
Sometimes I just I want a hug so badly I think I might explode.
I can't do anything properly.
My body is disgusting.
My thoughts are disgusting.
I am selfish.
No one should have to put up with my bullshit.
Sorry 🤕
[Rant/Rave] My friend is an expert
/u/zxcvsdfh [170cm | 23M]
Created: Mon Aug 14 01:24:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkvz9/my_friend_is_an_expert/
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Does anyone else have that friend who thinks they know everything about this or that? I'm sure you do.
I have this one friend who only decided to go to the gym recently because he was "bored" and keeps telling me to go to the gym. He's constantly talking to me about what he does at the gym and how he hates his protein shakes but drinks them anyway because he wants to get ripped. Then he goes into detail about his plan to get ripped by eating five meals a day, "bulking up" and other such strategies. He's become an overnight professor on the subject.
It's like... you only started a couple of weeks ago, fell off the treadmill *twice*, and injured yourself and now you're giving me health and fitness advice, telling me how easy it is to just get up and exercise.
I know he means well (or at least I hope) and maybe he's just sharing but I can't help but feel irritated because he basically comes across like he thinks he can write a thesis on this. It's almost as if he's rubbing it in my face.
[Help] Vacation soon
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 14 01:21:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkvjo/vacation_soon/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like my ED gave up on me
/u/yougotmefeelinghigh
Created: Mon Aug 14 01:00:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tksln/i_feel_like_my_ed_gave_up_on_me/
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Where did the loud voice in my head screaming at me to not eat go? Why has she abandoned me like so many others have? She was so comforting and protective. Now it's like I'm all alone. I have nearly zero impulse control when it comes to eating in private. Somehow I manage to watch what I eat around others, but when I'm alone it's like my brain switches off and my emotions take over. If I'm upset, I'll eat. If I'm sad, I'll eat. The only time I seem to not think about food is when I am feeling good, and that's pretty rare at this point. I know I should embrace my body and self-love and all that, but it's so fucking hard when I look at myself. I could stare at every single inch and little detail about my body and still feel disgust. All the weight I lost while she was in my head with me is back and it's definitely noticeable. I just miss her. I miss a lot about my life at the start of 2017.
[Intro] Hi
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Mon Aug 14 00:47:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkqx1/hi/
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My names Justin, I'm a 15 year old boy from California. I've been lurking for a couple days now. I've been actively trying to lose weight for about a month but I think I've had an eating disorder for a while. I've always been pretty weird about food, I think I got it from my grandma; I'll go really long without food because I don't want to choose what I'm going to eat and when I do eat it's usually because my grandma yelled at me long enough. I'm really bad at introductions, sorry
[Goal] I feel really happy, kinda proud of myself and I wanted to share
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 14 00:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkm2d/i_feel_really_happy_kinda_proud_of_myself_and_i/
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6 weeks ago I hit my lowest weight in 12 years. Something triggered a binge and I gained 13 lb--and ended up at my brightest weight in 2 years. I was crushed. Long story short after like 50 mental attempts to start a protein fast (it's eat as little as possible except for 60g of protein per day, which makes your body just burn fat) I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY did it and even though I didn't fast as strictly as I had planned, I still did super well and I lost 7 lb. I know not all of what I gained or lost was fat, but I'm now hovering at a weight that I'm not happy with but I don't hate myself at. And I broke the fast this weekend because I went out and did social stuff and GUYS I DIDNT GO CRAZY AND BINGE!!!!!!! I had some junk food but I just ate a normal amount. I was able to stop before I started feeling grossly full. And I had sweet potato fries and cider and peach cobbler that I baked (I had a *normal person portion* despite it being the thing that broke my fast and despite the fact that I was picking at it in the dish) and wine today and cake and I had pizza and flatbread for lunch. Oh hello let's go back to this for a minute though--I HAD WINE AND I DIDNT OVEREAT MUCH. I ate a little too much cake earlier but normally that would trigger a binge and I would eat until I'm sick. But this time I actually didn't keep eating and I let time pass and I digested everything and just ate a normal healthy amount of this stuffed chicken and broccoli thing from Costco for dinner. I'm in bed and my brain is going apeshit for food.
I feel ok. I feel so normal right now that I'm not even mad that I broke my fast--this has never ever ever happened. I've always been furious at myself for something like this but I did so well today without even really trying that I'm happy that I got to experience this. I'm crying a little right now. I'm going to go back to my fast after tomorrow (too busy at work and I need to not add to my stress with restricting) but I'm just so happy
[Rant/Rave] I abandoned the Binge food...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:48:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkie6/i_abandoned_the_binge_food/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
As it always happens the end of my shift gave way to cravings and like I do being a cook I acted on my cravings but not completely..
Back track to Monday of this past week. I binged on my lunch break. I never eat on my breaks this time I spent 20 bucks at the store buying vegan brownies and a few vegan deli sandwiches. I ate the brownies and then the warehouse. 5hem at work I ate some extra tater tots that were lying around.
On Tuesday I binged again this time on a vegan Philly sandwich and a biscuit with gravy. In front of my friend at his house afte4 work. I told myself id go to the gym on my days off to offset the binging. I never made it to the gym.
On my days off i continued the binging to the tune of 4k on Wednesday and 2k on Thursday. Friday at work I fasted. the last two days I've spent collectively 12 hours at the gym working out to off set the binging.
I added everything up and with conservative estimates from work for calories burning standing on my feet and being at the gym yesterday I broke even and today put me 2k to 3k under according to lose it.
I have my lose it app set to 0 calories allotted for the day so a deficit is greater if I am in the negative.
Back to present time. At work I made a waffle with chopped strawberries. Spices banana, blueberries, and a good helping of vegan whipped cream. I also claimed an extra vegan big Mac, three biscuits with two sides of gravy.
I put them in a paper bag and walked out the door knowing if they made it hom3 I would consume them. I told myself to eat anything in the bat would be a sin and I would have to strike.
My motive for abandoning the food came from an unlikely place. Two days prior I put a cash deposit on a tattoo I have been wanting to get for a year. the chosen location in a place that would only look good if I lost weight. On my chest.
I supposed to get inked on Thursday afternoon and I don't want my artist to be looming over my bloated fat stomach so I feel completed to fast.
I feel accomplished having fucked up priorities but I avoided a binge so I feel thankful for that. I am on fast day three and tomorrow my lose it week starts over. I plan to weigh myself on Wednesday after I suspect my bloating has gone down and I will look to my tattoo sketch for unlikely thinspo.
Thank you to anyone who read this. You are all lovely and beautiful.
Willow.
[Discussion] DEA have random bouts of depression
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:45:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkhwc/dea_have_random_bouts_of_depression/
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It just comes on so suddenly. I'm fine and then it's just this warm sticky black sludge that I'm stuck in. The more I struggle the more stuck in it I am.
I get so sluggish and everything seems to stupid and pointless. I'm worthless and of course everyone hates me. How could they not hate me.
And then just as suddenly it's gone. I don't even know how it came about and I feel ridiculous for feeling that way.
TL:DR I almost ate a giant chocolate muffin to feel better and thankfully regained my shit and am happy knowing I've only eaten a sandwich today.
[Rant/Rave] Restart
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:22:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkebz/restart/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else get upset when they see someone skinnier than them
/u/aziz18023 [5'7| CW: 118 | GW: 110 | Male]
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:17:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkdlv/does_anyone_else_get_upset_when_they_see_someone/
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Whenever I see a girl (though there are some guys) with a lower BMI than me I get insanely jealous and feel like I need to lose weight to be skinnier than them, does anyone else feel this way?
[Rant/Rave] I've returned (with a new username)
/u/CandidTriceratops
Created: Sun Aug 13 23:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tkd5r/ive_returned_with_a_new_username/
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I used to be around here often through the worst of my ED but over the last few months I've been in such a bad situation that I switched right to binge eating. I've gained 70-80 lbs back and I'm very very upset with everything. Every time I try to go back to not eating my boyfriend forces me to eat. I am very unhealthy now, my highest weight. I don't know what to do, please somebody give me strength not to die if I can't lose weight because I hate my body so much right now.
Currently thinking of some ways to resist temptation tomorrow and excuses not to eat. I could very easily stay in bed all day and say I don't feel good. Knowing me I'll just go into a binge anyways.
Edit: if I do intermittent fasting (like all breakfast and lunch) and then when forced to eat I choose something from the keto diet would that be okay for losing weight? Since fasting is technically keto as well. It wouldn't be a lot, just enough to make people happy.
[Rant/Rave] it's my birthday today
/u/kat-official [5'5" | CW: 149.7 lbs | UGW: 100 lbs | -25 lbs | 16F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 22:46:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tk8se/its_my_birthday_today/
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this is just a nonsense rant. haven't posted here in a while hi.
today is my 16th but most of my friends ignored my texts and i'm about 99% sure my boyfriend is cheating on me, so i binged like a fatass and cried. i must have eaten over 3000 calories today. i hate myself so much. that after a straight week of doing so well on 500 a day. one of my best friends texted asking how i was and when i told her i wanted to die she started talking about the roadtrip she's on. the only good thing about today is that until i thought i heard the tinder ringtone after he was asleep, i actually had a really good time with my boyfriend. and also i got a shark onesie from my mom. it fits right but also if i gain like 50 pounds it'll still fit me. which is a nice way for a onesie to be i guess
How many instagram followers do you have?
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Sun Aug 13 22:26:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tk5jj/how_many_instagram_followers_do_you_have/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] when your binge food barely qualifies as food
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sun Aug 13 21:58:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tk0p0/when_your_binge_food_barely_qualifies_as_food/
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Carefully planned out okonomiyaki, vegan "pork" tacos, and curried sweet potatoes this week in a last-ditch effort to eat like a normal person.
Instead I ate 52 plain tortillas in three days. I know this because I looked at the package.
At a party yesterday I drank a 2L of Diet Coke, well aware that Diet Coke gives me the shits. And lo, I had the shits at a party, and it was not dignified.
Today my microwave broke. I ate an entire box of brown sugar instant oatmeal barely soaked in cold water. Raw oatmeal mush. With a side of garlic dill pickles.
With my carefully-planned meal ingredients sitting in the cabinet looking at me.
What the fuck, me. I don't know what I'm doing. I've given up trying to restrict. I'm sure as hell not enjoying any of this. Right now I'm just trying to minimize the damage.
Please tag rant/rave.
[Rant/Rave] Having to eat to take meds, and I would honestly rather die.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 21:19:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjtm7/having_to_eat_to_take_meds_and_i_would_honestly/
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So I had a terrible day and wound up being diagnosed with a UTI and having my cornea scratched so badly by fibreglass I wound up needing an emergency consult on a Sunday night. Now I'm on two different antibiotics and a steroid. Taking them while fasting has been *horrific* so far. There's no way I'll be able to take these pills and keep them down without eating real-sized meals at least twice a day.
And I honestly am considering just saying "fuck it," stopping the pills, and praying that everything either clears up on its own or I die quickly, because I physically cannot make myself eat two meals every day for a week. I don't understand how people do this *three times every day*, when I struggle to even do it once.
[Other] Tongue bumps?
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 21:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjtas/tongue_bumps/
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I don't really purge but I restrict really low, and recently I've noticed that I've started getting like, the bumps on my tongue are enlarged. It happens from time to time, nbd. I bit them off like I usually do so that it heals. But now I've noticed there's a bump on the underside of my tongue. Is this stuff ED related? I haven't been like sleeping around or anything that would make it be like herpes or whatever. I've also never gotten cold sores or canker sores before in my life.
Does anyone ever get things like this?
[Rant/Rave] friend won't shut up about her eating habits
/u/draculoidbones
Created: Sun Aug 13 20:44:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjmxt/friend_wont_shut_up_about_her_eating_habits/
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she's been saying how she's so stressed she hasn't been eating lately and how she's happy she's getting slimmer and it's so triggering ? a part of me is worried because i care about her a lot but most of me just thinks she's rubbing it in my face without caring if she's triggering me.
sorry. just felt like ranting about that.
[Other] I found a journal from when I was 15 :(
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 20:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjg1n/i_found_a_journal_from_when_i_was_15/
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I was going back in some old journals to see when my problems all began. I want to give 15 year old me a big hug. I feel so bad for her.
"I'm afraid I'm going to go through life never loving myself or the way I look"
"I just didn't eat for awhile and I did obsess over every fucking thing that went in my body, but I have the ability to stop myself. Nobody would ever look at me and say I was anorexic"
"I know it's [not eating] bad, and I know there are horrible consequences but I still continue doing it"
"I'm so scared, worried, lonely, anxious, sad, happy, confused. I have times when I come to terms with my life, death, and the decisions I've made. But as of now that isn't the case. Right now I just want to be consoled and reassured. I want someone to tell me that I'll amount to something and that I'm not wasting my life."
"I want to be able to talk to my mom"
Poor little Magpie.
[Intro] Long time lurker.
/u/littlebabychicken [5' 5" | CW: 121.6 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 19:57:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tje3z/long_time_lurker/
---
Hey there.
I've been lurking here on my main for a few weeks and decided to make an alt account so I can introduce myself.
TL;DR: Late 20's. Restricted heavily from 19 to 21, dropped from 130 to 93 lbs.
Couldn't maintain it and ballooned up to 145.
Slowly went back to eating normally and lost 15 lbs.
Recently started a new medication that curbed my appetite and lost 10 pounds and am slipping back into old (and new) habits.
I've always had self confidence and body images issues, and still do to this day (obvs, lol). To cover up what I felt was an ugly body, I wore baggy pants and shirts during my time in school. Additionally, I was terribly shy and socially awkward so I didn't have many friends.
I remember one day, when I was in 7th grade, I was talking to my mom about how I was tired of being made fun for the clothes I wore.
Her response: "Well maybe if you lost a little weight you could... y'know... wear the clothes the popular girls wear".
At the time I was well within the healthy weight range for my age/height. My Mom always has been and always will be obese.
I initially shrugged the comment off.
Around 17 years old I decided I wanted to "be healthy".
It started off with things like replacing soda with water and trying to cut/reduce fatty/sugary foods. Progress was slow but I was happy to see results (because pretty girls are skinny, right Mom?).
When I started college things took a turn for the worse.
I was totally stressed out from the sudden change from HS to college, and all of my friends had moved away so I was all alone and terribly depressed. I felt like I had absolutely no control over my life with the exception of one thing: my weight.
At the worst of it, I was eating less than 500 calories a day and running for 3+ hours every single day on the treadmill. Since it was an old and shitty treadmill, it frequently broke, and when it did I would have a nuclear meltdown. Screaming, crying, panic attacks, etc.
My parents saw my drastic drop in weight and frequently picked fights with me about it.
"Why won't you eat!?"
"You're too skinny!!"
"YOU'RE STRESSING YOUR FATHER AND I OUT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!!!1!!!11!!"
Eventually I "cracked" and went on a year long binge fest and gained everything back and then some.
Over the years I lost the extra weight and returned to 130 lbs.
Back in October, however, I was hospitalized for sever anxiety and suicidal ideations. The new SSRI they put me on curbed my appetite and I lost approximately 10 pounds. Shortly after my stay at the hospital, I decided to leave my career as a Pastry Chef and go back to school as I realized the hospitality industry was severely detrimental to my mental health and stability.
I'm much happier since I left, but the fact that I'm essentially back at square one has left me feeling very frustrated and I have started to slip back into old habits.
I've sloooowly been upping my restriction since March, have been working out like crazy and, more recently, have started to purge and keep a food log.
I know the risks and effects these actions can have on my health, but I just don't fucking care.
I miss seeing my rib cage, all of the vertebrae in my spine, and my huge thigh gap.
I miss going into a clothing store and being able to try on anything.
**I miss the sense of control I had all those years ago.**
Last month I brought up the possibility of stopping my meds because I felt pretty good at the time (and because I have no libido, which has had a negative impact on my BF and I), but now I'm not so sure because I'm afraid I'll gain weight.
I'm sorry for writing so much. This has been stewing in my head for close to 15 years and, tbh, it feels kinda good to let it out.
[Rant/Rave] People believe me when I lie about my weight?
/u/Pugslyaddams [5'7"|122lbs- GW 110lbs | 19.04 (new), 19.11 (old) | -30| 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 19:53:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjdhy/people_believe_me_when_i_lie_about_my_weight/
---
New here, have lurked for a long time but joined because I'm frustrated.
I am at 122lbs right now, but told my weight obsessed parents I was maintaining at 131. The problem is, they actually believe me! I know this is what I wanted but how do they believe me???
Also body dysmorphia makes me feel like there's no difference in how I look now and at 152lbs.
Anyone else have NO IDEA how they actually look?
Sorry for bad English it's not my mother-tongue.
Also if a mod could flair as I'm on mobile?
ECA Stack + Vyvanse?
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Sun Aug 13 19:37:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tjagg/eca_stack_vyvanse/
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[removed]
[Help] How did you reset your tastebuds?
/u/get-it_together [5'3" | hahaha kill me | UGW 130 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:52:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tj20v/how_did_you_reset_your_tastebuds/
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[removed]
Fasting/Extreme restricting shopping essential
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:34:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tiyrn/fastingextreme_restricting_shopping_essential/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] In the past four days, I've consumed 8448, 717, 1010 and 9330 calories. Sums up my ED😒
/u/Jack26598
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:29:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tixuf/in_the_past_four_days_ive_consumed_8448_717_1010/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tixuf/in_the_past_four_days_ive_consumed_8448_717_1010/
[Goal] I'm new here, and I wanted to share that I am .2 away from my ultimate goal!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tix8d/im_new_here_and_i_wanted_to_share_that_i_am_2/
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https://i.redd.it/ilf2id23llfz.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Aug 13 18:23:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tiwlu/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/ia32t2siklfz.jpg
[Help] just binged on a bag of chips
/u/teofu
Created: Sun Aug 13 17:06:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tihaw/just_binged_on_a_bag_of_chips/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Adding up all the money I've spent on food...
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tif41/adding_up_all_the_money_ive_spent_on_food/
---
It is insane. No wonder I am so broke. I will spend easily £100+ a week on certain foods and expensive particular things. And god help my binge spending.
I don't meal prep or anything that would save money as I hate keeping food in the house.
I think that's the main problem. All I eat are the most expensive forms of anything - pre packaged, pre cooked, fancy fruits, "health" food bollocks.
I am in loads of debt and will be unemployed soon. What a lovely and strange side effect of ED that certainly never gets mentioned in the books or TV shows....
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I am in a competition to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:52:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tieb3/i_feel_like_i_am_in_a_competition_to_lose_weight/
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[deleted]
[Help] Looking for a psychiatrist in Houston
/u/txla107 [5'5" | CW:133 lb GW:115 | 21.8 | +10 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:39:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tibp0/looking_for_a_psychiatrist_in_houston/
---
You'd think living in the fourth largest city in the country with the greatest medical center would make it easy to find an ED specialist that is accepting patients within the next year. No such luck. If anyone has any recommendations pls let me know thx friends
[Rant/Rave] Gym
/u/blackswanrises
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ti8j6/gym/
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My bf always wants me to workout with him, but he won't lift weights with me. Lol he kept asking me what areas I want to target (like he wanted me to breakdown and say my fat ass, thighs and basically my whole body). I told him to leave me alone about it bc his suggestions would probably annoy me.
Wtf... I feel like he's too embarrassed to workout with me. There's this older man trainer at the gym with giant arms maybe I'll hire him.
I just want to look bomb for my wedding next July.
[Thinspo] Had tea while drawing my yoga spot.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ti5wl/had_tea_while_drawing_my_yoga_spot/
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https://i.redd.it/ys22c4xywkfz.jpg
[Other] I want to feel cold again
/u/chocolate_9_T [5"0 | 109😭 | 21.1 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 16:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ti45p/i_want_to_feel_cold_again/
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So there was a post earlier on that said theyre always cold... and I don't get that feeling anymore.
This sounds so dumb lol but I remember having to put a layer of cardigan on cos I was cold and this just reminds me that I've fallen off the wagon and it shows on the scale
Yea I really need to get some sleep ....
[Discussion] Meds for BED?
/u/sixribs [5'2 | CW130 | GW110 | 23.8 | -35 | 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 15:32:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6thxfc/meds_for_bed/
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Last straw...last night I took in 5k calories in a sitting. I've gained 10lb this summer. Does anyone have advice or experience on BED meds? I googled it and it looks like Vyanse is what's available, I've heard some people also try to use Adderall as an appetite suppressant. I think I'm gonna schedule an appointment with a doctor tomorrow. Should I admit to having BED or fake it as a ADHD medication thing? I'm in the US now. thanks everyone!
[Goal] I hit my 1st goal weight today and waist measurement
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 15:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6thtb0/i_hit_my_1st_goal_weight_today_and_waist/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Seeing family members after gaining weight
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | I look like uncooked bread dough]
Created: Sun Aug 13 14:36:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6thl24/seeing_family_members_after_gaining_weight/
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I have been away at university and haven't seen a bunch of family and friends in about a year. I've gained a lot of weight during this time (about 30lbs) and I'm really self conscious about it. I've been in a big binge episode for a few months and it's been really hard.
I just arrived in my home town and am making plans to see everyone. There is a big family reunion in a couple weeks that everyone is going to be at. I was feeling nervous about it and brought it up to my mother. All she said was "I told you so" because she mentioned it when she saw me a couple months ago. Then she said that the pants I was currently wearing (black tights) weren't helping.
I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying. I don't want anyone to see me. I'm so angry at myself that I let myself get to this point. I'm the fattest I've ever been. I don't know what to do to avoid seeing everyone. I feel like they will judge me and talk about me, especially because many members of my family are very skinny and weight conscious. I just want to leave.
[Rant/Rave] feeling compulsion to purge even though im not bulimic
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > lmao > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 13:15:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6th2yc/feeling_compulsion_to_purge_even_though_im_not/
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hi idk how else to explain this. ive been binging a lot lately. yesterday i had a 1200 day and felt amazing and thought i had my shit together but mom brought my binge foods in the house and i, well, you can figure out the rest.
the thing is, i dont purge. ever. i just restrict to hell and back for a couple days then hate myself and binge again. but lately ive been getting this... feeling of anxiety when i enter the bathroom. to take everything out of me. like that'd serve as a 'reset' button or some shit.
i know how bad purging is. ive been warned so many times by ex bulimics i watch on youtube and even some of you guys when i shared this in the discord a long ass time ago. ive seen pictures of rotting teeth, and what have you. i *know* i shouldn't, but why won't this feeling go away?
but its such a physical feeling, like if i dont take this shit out of my body ill never be ok again. its so fucking painful trying to resist. although im doing my best, by running out of the bathroom as soon as im done brushing my teeth or whatever.
i guess i just wanted to share that with people who i know understand :(
What are your opinions on "what I eat in a day" videos?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:48:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgjbz/what_are_your_opinions_on_what_i_eat_in_a_day/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i'm insanely jealous of people with the same body as me??
/u/Jemjon [5'7" | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | GW: 108? | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:41:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tghwm/im_insanely_jealous_of_people_with_the_same_body/
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I just started seeing a therapist for my ED but my body dysmorphia and jealousy is killing me. If i see a skinny girl on instagram or in real life I get enraged that they 'have something I can never have' even though I can go look in the mirror and CLEARLY SEE I am JUST AS THIN AS THEY ARE. I get jealous of their ribs showing, flat stomach whatever even though I am underweight, I have those things too??
Im seriously anxious to meet one of my boyfriends best friends, he said she was skinny and I actually grilled him on how skinny she was, if she was skinnier than me or not (really embarassed of this like what the fuck is wrong with me) and he said she is not and I stalked her instagram and really, her and I have the same body size, you could switch our heads and it wouldn't be very different, but I am jealous of how skinny she is? Im anxious to meet her incase i'll get insecure and weird :(
I actually feel even more self conscious and jealous than I did when I was 25 pounds heavier than I am now. But im terrified to gain weight in recovery of course. atleast now I logically know im skinny even if I dont feel it, im so scared to no longer have that reassurance if I gain weight. I have been thinking of joining a gym to be able to still control how I look. ugh I am so pissed and depressed :(
[Rant/Rave] I have a muffin top now ;_;
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:35:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgghn/i_have_a_muffin_top_now/
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I bought a few pairs of high waisted pants when I weighed 124-ish; now I weight 133-ish, and I officially have a muffin top in them even though they are high waisted :[ When I gain weight, I think I'm apple shaped... so I guess it makes sense. I just feel really shitty and gross today. Maybe I'm just extra bloated today. Plus I've been overeating/binging for the past few days (confession number 2, lol). But Idfk.
[Tip] how i'm not binging on peanut butter
/u/tinycashew [5'6.75" | 118.0 | 18.59 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:16:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgbu9/how_im_not_binging_on_peanut_butter/
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I thought maybe this would help someone else because it's working for me!!
Basically my house this summer has had multiple communal jars of peanut butter which is a real issue for me because it's a major enemy of mine and I've binged on it multiple times. One of them was "oh i'll just finish this jar and then it will be gone forever" LOL no a new one popped up right away. And obviously I can't throw them out because they belong to everybody. So after a few occasions of not super binging but eating like 4-5 tablespoons of it at once I came up with this new rule.
If I want peanut butter, I can have it any time but it has to be incorporated into another food. Before I would justify eating spoonfuls of it alone by "I'll just have one tablespoon and then be done and it will only be 100 calories" but that never worked. Other foods are soo much lower in calories than PB itself! My toast has 80 calories for god's sake! That's less than a tablespoon is worth! Now I actually do only eat 1-2 tablespoons of PB because
a. it took time to make the snack and eat it
b. it's actually filling and I'm satisfied after
c. it wasn't "forbidden" so I don't feel like I already messed up and just give up and eat more
d. and, sometimes I just don't bother making anything because I'm not actually hungry for real food, it was just an urge.
My go-tos are PB on toast (~200 cals) PB+banana (~250 cals), and oatmeal with PB (~300) - super filling because it's an actual meal. Then the meal gets incorporated into my calories for the day and I just move on instead of self-hating.
Love you all!
[Tip] anyone else use a bujo to be an ED-ridden wackadoo? 🤔
/u/homicidoll [5'4 | -54 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:09:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tgail/anyone_else_use_a_bujo_to_be_an_edridden_wackadoo/
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https://i.redd.it/ef4ly6txejfz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] I hate scales
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:08:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tga8g/rantrave_i_hate_scales/
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I've been travelling for three weeks now, and for the first time in about two weeks I've had access to a scale. I don't weigh at home because if I have the option I do it compulsively and the number is always super random, but before I left I was at my lowest weight I can remember, around 100. A week into the trip I weighed in at 103 after eating and just getting off a plane, so no real change. Fast forward to today. I get off the plane, go to my hotel, I see the scale in my room, step on, and it's broken. I feel relief at first that I don't have to know what the number is, and then I'm consumed by an intense need to know. I just couldn't let it go. So I go into my parents' room to weigh and the number comes back- 110. The highest number I've seen in years. I know it's not really possible I gained ten pounds in three weeks, especially since I've still been counting calories, compulsively exercising, and taking weight loss pills, but there's no way it could be ten whole pounds off. How much is it possible for a scale to be wrong by? I'm having a bit of a panic attack over this and I don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] I hate needing to eat when I don't want to
/u/mainechick [5'4'' | CW 129 lb | GW 125 | UGW 107]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:07:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tga3d/i_hate_needing_to_eat_when_i_dont_want_to/
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I've been under 300 kcal the past 4 days and under 800 since July 29th and today I was so weak and dizzy that I had to eat something or I knew I might pass out at some point today even though I didn't even feel hungry or have any cravings. Now I just really want to purge but I can't because I'll be right back where I started and I just feel angry that I need to consume calories just to operate.
I also broke the 120's this morning and thought that I would've been way happier but I just feel frustrated that I'm still so far away from my LW/UGW that it doesn't even feel like real progress even though I'm down from the 140's.
Today just feels shitty, man.
[Rant/Rave] When your roommates try to act like they didn't eat your food
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW:182 CW:158.8 BMI:23.03]
Created: Sun Aug 13 11:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tga19/when_your_roommates_try_to_act_like_they_didnt/
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Like b*tch I have a detailed log of every single thing I've eaten in the past YEAR I know I didn't eat that burrito and "forget about it" 🙃
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] Rave-Fast
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 10:21:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tg04n/rave_ravefast/
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I did it again.
So I tried to get myself off the b/p train. I managed somehow. Took some weight though.
Decided to try to fast, this time a little less healing and detoxing.
I don't eat, don't drink alcohol - but I rave. This means everything else goes, as long as it makes me go on dancing for hours and keeps me from eating.
I am generally passionate about dancing and very enduring. Like this though, I can continue for days.
Another week to go ❤
[Help] I lied about my weight to donate blood
/u/rachelrayromano [5'4" | CW 102 | 17.85 |F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:37:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfqi1/i_lied_about_my_weight_to_donate_blood/
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I said I was 110 and the guy squinted at me, but didn't question me. It took me 4 times longer than everyone else to finish my donation and I was definitely the smallest person by a lot. I maintained my one meal a day habit until 3 days later, after a weird fainting spell on day 2. I'm so dumb, but I already scheduled another donation in october. I have no desire to get up to 110, but part of me thinks this is the dumbest thing I can do. When I think of gaining, I just want to not eat anything ever again. I don't know what to do you guys, but I will most likely not gain and lie again.
[Discussion] Do you have eating disorder radar?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:09:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfky4/do_you_have_eating_disorder_radar/
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I was at Sprouts yesterday doing my normal check-the-calories-on-everything-just-in-case-they've-changed, when I see a girl checking out the sushi packages and looking for the calories listed (they totally aren't listed at all, it's a travesty). I just had that *feeling* and I knew that she had an ED. So I go about my business, and I'm talking to my mom about new stuff at Sprouts, and was like, "Wow, I need to try these fish burgers. 100 calories each!" And the girl could not have turned around faster if she tried. Suspicion confirmed. I so wanted to say something, but what do you say? "Hello, fellow crazy person!"
Do you ever have this happen to you when you're out?
(Also, Sprouts girl, if you're reading this--hi! Isn't it such bullshit that they don't label the sushi? Hope you found something else to eat!)
[Thinspo] Stomach Thinspiration 8.13
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:01:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfjey/stomach_thinspiration_813/
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http://imgur.com/a/1RG42
[Rant/Rave] Bf doesn't care about my ED
/u/LaughingBorderline
Created: Sun Aug 13 09:00:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfj74/bf_doesnt_care_about_my_ed/
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Sorry that this sounds attention seeking...
Ive only been seeing this guy for over a month, but he just. Doesn't. Care. My ex could tell and REALLY cared to the point i felt smothered. I hated him for it at the time but i know feel down he cared and loved me (we actually ended after he said he needs me to recover but im not ready).
But this guy? Noooope. At first i found it great and just thought he just wasnt as smart as my ex. But then i started missing being worried about, so id be a lot more obvious. Ive left laxatives around, commented on how i want to still lose weight even though im like 99lb. Its got to the point where im just being 100% honest with him and told him i dont want to eat and love to fast. He doesnt seem phased?Its almost like hes enabling me and now i feel lonely and scared.
Maybe if i just tell him straight out I have an ED? But he just loves to talk only of himself... im confused. But if he were to help me, id push him away...
Has anyone here been with an enabling partner?? Or someone that doesnt care? I feel really lonely atm
Partner doesn't care about my ED
/u/LaughingBorderline
Created: Sun Aug 13 08:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfj0k/partner_doesnt_care_about_my_ed/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I gained two pounds in two days and Im done
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:98lb | GW1: 95lb | -61lb | M]
Created: Sun Aug 13 08:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tfdj5/i_gained_two_pounds_in_two_days_and_im_done/
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I'm fucking flipping out!!! I broke 100 20 days ago, went down to 98, and started plateauing so I decided to high restrict fir two days!! And I'm back to 100 lbs again! I want to fucking die all of my hard work was for nothing and I feel sick. I thought I was plateauing because I hadn't had a BM for a while but I had one last night and I'm at 100! Due to CICO I should be less than 95 lbs right now - and my tracking hasnt changed at all. theres no way ive eaten above 600 cals in the past two weeks besides the last two days, two other days where I ate a lot of wings and got drunk. and the last two days I ate at less than 1,200. I even fasted a few days entirely. I am fuxking lost
[Rant/Rave] 'Celebration' is totally not worth the binge
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:33:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf4gp/celebration_is_totally_not_worth_the_binge/
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Today was supposed to be a good day. I've never been so myself for such a long time.
I was happy that my mum's back and enjoyed eating her cooking and the stuffs she bought from her trip. I also passed my entrance test. So I decided to make it a 'eat normal day'. Of course, eat normally means binging on biscuits, nuts and grapes. I couldn't even control myself. Idk what happened
Later my family wanted to 'celebrate' my results. The thing is they only told me halfway during dinner: oh actually we're celebrating your test results, congrats.
Omg my whole spirit drained. If we're gonna celebrate!!! Ask me what I want to eat??? I'd rather do it right and eat all the food I crave instead of pretending to be normal and eat the food I don't even want. I thought I'm eating all these stuffs, for YOU. (Btw my mum decided to say its a 'celebration' because she suddenly remembered. No one else knew about my test results)
I know I'm supposed to be grateful but I feel so bummed out. My family doesn't even care what I want. (This happens all the time)
Then we went for second round dinner at a cheap sushi place. I want my fill of good sushi not cheap sushi. It's not worth the calories!! Nothing I ate today is what I wanted to eat! It's not worth getting fat over!!! And I ate anyways. Smh
I'd rather today be a normal day and they choose whatever they want to eat. Instead it's supposed to be MY day (apparently) but I didn't get what I want.
Total: over 1600. 300 over TDEE. My stomach feels so full I want to cry. I regret this so so so much. I want to die. I don't want anymore fake special days or normal days. I just want to restrict and keep to myself. I feel so selfish but really, I'm crying over the wasted calories..
Edit: damn this is so long. For those who read this, i love you. I just need an outlet. I told my boyfriend about the celebration part but he didn't understand why I was upset
[Help] Skinny friends?
/u/posyposer
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:28:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf3nl/skinny_friends/
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Ok so I need some advice about my best friend. She's beautiful, and so tiny. She also has an ED. We've become good friends in a short amount of time but I honestly can't imagine my life without her. However, it's really hard for me to be her friend sometimes because of how tiny she is. It's been really good for my restricting/purging because I want to be pretty too (and I lost a ton when we first became close), but it's been really hard on my mental health. This week she's been out of town and I binged hard the first day but I've been eating normally (3 meals a day, no purging) for the first time in ages. Before that I had been in a pretty good cycle of restricting/purging a few days a week and eating "normally" the rest, which really works for me because I'm so busy but it keeps my ED brain satisfied (and I don't put on weight and sometimes lose weight doing that). My mental health was SO MUCH better when I was doing that but when she's around and I'm seeing her regularly I can't make myself eat. I just feel so ugly and fat around her. Does anyone have advice about this type of situation? Sorry for the novel, she's getting back today and I've been freaking out.
[Discussion] August 13th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:24:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf31u/august_13th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning?
(I guess we can alter it to Sunday since it's Sunday, and for 5 years this will never be on Saturday 😂)
[Rant/Rave] I binged in front of my mom.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 07:06:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tf06l/i_binged_in_front_of_my_mom/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I wish I was tiny
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6teyxj/i_wish_i_was_tiny/
---
I just saw the smallest, most petite girl. She was super short, and so so skinny. Clearly underweight for her height. But didnt look unhealthy, I swear she weighed like 30kilos. Im soothing myself with the idea that maybe she was really, really young and looks older for her age.
Im average height and a little underweight. But Ill never be tiny or small. Its just... How my bones are, my build. My stature. No matter my weight, there will still be too much of me. Its how Ive always felt. So awkward and out of place in my own skin. I wish I could be at peace with this body that Im stuck with. But short and skinny is so beautiful. Ive always wanted to look like that, ever since I could remember. Not like the big, bulky thing of a body I have. Acceptance isnt an option tho, loosing weight is until I end up with bone density problems. That'll eventually shave off a few centimeters from my height.
Anybody else?
[Discussion] How do you stop binging?
/u/vtuzl
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:46:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6texdy/how_do_you_stop_binging/
---
I don't know if this is a good place to ask this, since I'm not sure if anyone here has ever experienced this, but I've been binging nonstop for the past three weeks and I can't stop myself. Everyday I'm eating like 3000 calories. I'm usually not hungry in the morning and eat nothing until lunch, but then once I start eating I can't stop, and I can't stop myself from eating lunch because I usually eat with other people. I just want to not eat anything at all, but for some reason I can't stop myself from sabotaging myself by binging. I'm on appetite suppressants too and it used to be so easy for me to only eat like 300-600 calories and now suddenly I can't. How do you stop binging?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tes23/daily_food_diary_august_13_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 13, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:10:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tes17/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Rant/Rave] I binged in front of my mom.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 06:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tes0w/i_binged_in_front_of_my_mom/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I tried purging for the first time...
/u/brita09234890235
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:55:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6teb6l/i_tried_purging_for_the_first_time/
---
I ate 2000 calories of crap. I was never more determined to get this shit out of my system. I sat on my bathroom floor for an hour shoving my fingers down my throat, bite marks digging into my knucles. And I couldn't do it. I gagged and gagged and spit saliva for 60 minutes straight and that was it. One fucking hour of trying to force it out of me. My throat is so sore. I keep feeling like I'm choking. I'm such a failure that I can't even purge properly. Now I get to deal with the fact that I gained back 3 pounds on top of this failure. I want to throw my scale at the wall. I make one step of progress and somehow I end up jumping back 10 steps.
[Discussion] What are your "stranded on a desert island" ED items?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:15:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te6y8/what_are_your_stranded_on_a_desert_island_ed_items/
---
What items, ED related, could you not live without? Can be a type of food, tool, appliance, drug, etc.
Mine would be:
-My digital food scale
-Vitafusion Fiber Gummies
-Trident White Gum
-Any type of beer (my guilty pleasure)
What about you guys?
D:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:15:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te6vu/d/
---
http://i.imgur.com/R7lMGFq.jpg
No access to my scale
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:12:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te6l5/no_access_to_my_scale/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I tried recovery and I'm more unhappy than ever.
/u/Afterhoursotter
Created: Sun Aug 13 03:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te5h1/i_tried_recovery_and_im_more_unhappy_than_ever/
---
I felt like once I recovered it would fix all my problems, but after forcing it for months I'm more miserable than ever as well as fifteen pounds heavier. I'm miserable both ways, but I'd rather be miserable and thin. Back to the only thing I can control in life.
[Rant/Rave] So I talked to a friend about my ED...
/u/somanybrightlights [5'10" | 130 | 18,3 | GW 100 | F | 🍑 thisishowidisappear]
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te3pc/so_i_talked_to_a_friend_about_my_ed/
---
And this morning she sends me a message about how much she weighed(which was less than I do, but she's shorter)? Like what the fuck, I just told you that I feel disgusting if I know that I weigh more than my friends and that numbers stress me out, and now you do that? Do you want me to fucking starve myself to death?
Looking for an ana buddy
/u/trippymotions
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:45:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te3lh/looking_for_an_ana_buddy/
---
[removed]
[Other] Any one interested in joining me for a juice fast?
/u/heartemoji
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:22:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6te13g/any_one_interested_in_joining_me_for_a_juice_fast/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Guess who just ate an entire fucking cake?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 48kg | GW: 40 kg | UGW: I just want to be loved]
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdzpq/guess_who_just_ate_an_entire_fucking_cake/
---
Yep. Me. Fuck my life. No wonder my mum hates me and my dad turns a blind eye to this. No mother could love such a fat, disgusting piece of shit bitch who oozes fat everywhere and is just a mouth with no stomach. I'm such a fucking bitch I deserve to be dead right now. Evil bitch. On the plus side, picking out your own hair is surprisingly therapeutic. I'm fucking crazy.
[Discussion] Are you just getting less hungry?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 02:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdzn7/are_you_just_getting_less_hungry/
---
I've been restricting for about a month and I'm just starting to feel super full whenever I eat. Last night at my engagement party I had a lamb chop and a meatball.
Today for lunch I had a coffee.
Everytime I eat I feel like my stomach is going to explode.
Maybe I'm just taking more notice of when I'm not and not just eating out of boredom?
[Rant/Rave] Posting this here because you people are the only ones who will understand (TW: domestic violence)
/u/Saltycook
Created: Sun Aug 13 00:33:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdodq/posting_this_here_because_you_people_are_the_only/
---
So I've been off and on proED for a while now, but I feel like this is the only safe place I can talk about this.
I've had an ED for a long time, comes and goes, but when I drink more it crops back up. I was out drinking in the next town over with a friend and we got a hotel room so there wouldn't be drinking and driving. I got shithoused and left earlier than he did, ordered a pizza, after half and decided to purge.
My friend came back drunk and caught me. Long story short he ended up pinning me to the door and putting his hands around my throat. He choked me into I passed out.
He was arrested that night and I thankfully haven't seen him, but since then I haven't been able to keep food down. Every time I swallow I feel his hands again. I'm down three pounds so far and I'm weirdly glad. I've found a means to control what I put in my mouth. I know this is pretty fucked up.
I wrote out what happened and put it up on/r/self but couldn't fess up to the purging part. [This is the long version.](https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/6sje6m/last_night_i_was_nearly_strangled_by_someone_i/) It's graphic but putting it out there feels cathartic. Thanks for reading.
[Humor] I got a safe food tattooed on my body
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 119 | 20.03 | -16lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 13 00:32:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdo9y/i_got_a_safe_food_tattooed_on_my_body/
---
https://i.redd.it/muf65w6f9gfz.jpg
[Discussion] Is anyone else just... never hungry?
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sat Aug 12 23:48:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdiq1/is_anyone_else_just_never_hungry/
---
I feel like recently my habits have changed a lot. I used to wake up ravenous and look forward to food the minute I opened my eyes. Now when I wake up, food is probably the last thing I think about. I'm just not hungry. The only reason I eat lately (and it's usually a terrible, terrible binge every time) is because I go out with my boyfriend, or cook him food which consequently means I'm eating a meal with him or he worries.
But if I was able to fast I feel like I'd do just fine. Thankfully I start college at the end of the month (just a county college) and my boyfriend starts his new job on the second shift in September. That means we have a few hours together in the afternoon, but I can just tell him I already ate.
This kinda turned into a ramble but the discussion is really: DAE feel like their appetites are completely gone?
[Discussion] Anybody else just feel instant shame when toilet water splashes in your face?
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 23:20:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tdez7/anybody_else_just_feel_instant_shame_when_toilet/
---
When I have a particularly forceful puke and a little bit of the water splashes back up at me is when it finally... pardon the pun... when it finally hits me how shameful it is to just lie around on the bathroom floor all day.
[Discussion] Which vitamins do you take daily?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Aug 12 23:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tde3q/which_vitamins_do_you_take_daily/
---
(topic) .. and what for. I forgot to ask that :(
[Goal] Fasting & Healthy eating buddies
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 12 22:36:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td8iq/fasting_healthy_eating_buddies/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Arm Thinspo
/u/EtanMuller [ 5'5" | CW: 97 | GW: 90 | UGW: 85 |16.33 | 15M ]
Created: Sat Aug 12 22:26:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td75q/arm_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/h8yAM2h.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I fucked up tonight
/u/BathtubDweller
Created: Sat Aug 12 21:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td23s/i_fucked_up_tonight/
---
I would like to post this for accountability. I fucked up today/tonight. I barely paid attention to what I was eating but I logged it all. I started out well, I ate what I planned for breakfast, and then I ate more than I planned for lunch, and then it just went downhill from there. I had a Starbucks cheese and fruit box, a chocolate croissant, and 2 alcoholic drink( which are totally knocking me out right now because I don't even drink) all came up to around 1900 cal. So I messed up! And words, I didn't even do my exercise today. I feel huge!!!! Fuck duck fucck fuck fuck. Fuck. Sorry for spelling/grammar I'm fucked up.
[Rant/Rave] No one thinks BED is a real problem and it's driving me insane
/u/greenso [5'11" | 136.5 | -43 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 21:54:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6td1qj/no_one_thinks_bed_is_a_real_problem_and_its/
---
People really, really don't understand that binge eating disorder is a real, actual thing. The psychiatrists I've seen have said they do but I could see it written on their faces. Then they'd resume to gently blow me off and redirect the conversation.
All I can think about is food. All. The. Time. Like my brain has nothing better to do other than think about eating. I never feel full and I never feel hungry. I'm always either intensely craving or physically sick. There's no medium. And then it gets worse because now I have to militantly watch what I eat so I don't gain and then after a while the restriction gets out of hand and I'm passing out in trains from hypotension from not eating.
I *know* what it's like not to have BED though. That's the infuriating thing. I've seen the other side. I was on some antidepressants that inadvertently treated the BED and it was night and fucking day. You just... stop thinking about food. It wouldn't even occur to me that I had stopped thinking about it. It was honestly the best couple of months of my life. It was so fucking *liberating*. But now I'm back and I've had it up to here. All my thoughts, all of them, are about food and fat and I can't do this lol. I haven't checked but I've put on about 15 pounds in the last three months. It's fucking crazy.
And I have tried cognitive therapy, but that's not it. With meds, it's like a switch that goes off in my brain. It's kind of eerie in a way how much something so small can have an impact on my life. But the meds have stopped working and my doctor refuses to actually treat it and so, just, whatever. Can't wait to be hospitalized again and treated like shit because I don't look like I have anorexia and I don't look like I have BED and BED isn't a real thing and I'm just looking for attention. Like it seems that people actually resent me for all this shit even though I've been dealing with it since I was 13. It's the loneliest fucking thing ever. Because I can't talk about it because then I'll immediately be categorized under "drama" and that's not me, I never want to be seen as someone who's looking for attention or like a victim.
Anyway, I needed to vent. Sorry if this is whiny.
[Rant/Rave] Whole Foods has a sale on all their supplements this weekend
/u/SetsunaChan [63.5 inches| 98.5 lbs | 17.58 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 20:31:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tco2n/whole_foods_has_a_sale_on_all_their_supplements/
---
Heard about it on r/xxfitness. The Whole Foods Markets in the (Mid-Atlantic US) are having a 25% off all supplements this weekend. Dates say 8/11 - 8/13.
Go get your supps, stay healthy!!
heard about it from Blu_Stocking just want to give credit where it is due
[Discussion] Alcohol to break a plateau?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 20:07:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcjwf/alcohol_to_break_a_plateau/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else feel cold most of the time?
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:54:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tchie/anyone_else_feel_cold_most_of_the_time/
---
Even after eating, putting on lots of clothes, and covering myself in blankets, I'm still in the midst of an everlasting temperature crisis. I don't even know anymore
[Thinspo] Ribcage Thinspo
/u/That_O_N_E_Guy
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcftd/ribcage_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/xIIFfUQ.jpg
[Help] What just happened to me?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 110 | bmi 17.2 | 20yr female]
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:32:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcdkn/what_just_happened_to_me/
---
I was at a party and i let myself cheat. I had fasted the day before and restricted under 900 cal for the past 2 weeks. I ate a bunch of food kinda fast, but not more than what a regular person would have. All the sudden, i was white as a sheet and had beads of sweat rolling down my face. My stomach felt awful. I knew i had to get the food out. Not in a "purge" kind of way but more like a "this is making me sick" way.
I barely made it through the uber ride home. As soon as i got to my apartment, i made myself puke. I feel a bit better.
Has this happened to anyone else?
[Other] I found his saved porn.
/u/ghostrice [5'6 | 27/F | SW: 280lbs - CW: 178lbs - GW: 140lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tccsg/i_found_his_saved_porn/
---
All the girls are tiny. They are all very skinny, brown haired girls.
I'm a 170+ bulimic, alcoholic, ugly bitch with pink hair.
He tells me he loves my curves and that makes me sick. He says he likes bigger girls. But all his porn is tiny girls.
Why lie about what you find attractive? I am most disgusted with myself.
[Intro] Small intro, long time lurker of this sub and y'all seem so supportive. :')
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 12 19:23:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tcbol/small_intro_long_time_lurker_of_this_sub_and_yall/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] What is your daily calorie goal?
/u/imverys4d
Created: Sat Aug 12 18:49:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tc5kj/what_is_your_daily_calorie_goal/
---
[removed]
[Help] Anorexia and Testosterone - What to do
/u/bcace
Created: Sat Aug 12 17:56:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbvt8/anorexia_and_testosterone_what_to_do/
---
A few months ago I hit a wall while having a very low calorie diet, <1200 daily for 2 months (I'm a 20 year old male who lifts 6 days per week) and had some hormone issues. My testosterone had plummeted to 270 when I got it checked. Now, I've been eating more and it's climbed back up to 560, a normal level, but my SHBG is super high at 80 causing my free testosterone to be lower than the normal range. I've read that high SHBG can be associated with eating disorders and I strictly count calories, even though I'm trying to be in a slight surplus currently and think I have some sort of dysmorphia or previously had anorexia. If anyone had experience or advice, it would be much appreciated. My endocrinologist said my labs were close enough to normal now (after seeing them climb over 6-8 weeks) and doesn't seem too concerned, as if they will return to normal in time. I also didn't tell her about the very low calorie diet.
[Discussion] Are there any foods that you all don't count the calories for?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 17:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbqwm/are_there_any_foods_that_you_all_dont_count_the/
---
I don't log sugar free gum, because I figure that the chewing motion burns more than the 2 or 3 calories. I also don't log black coffee or plain green/black tea. Again, I think the caffeine kind of negates any calories. Plus I chew so much gum and drink so much coffee/tea I would go crazy logging it all. On the other hand, I don't consume any of those 0 cal syrups/pickles/jellos etc because I don't really trust them really being 0. Curious what you all log/don't log as far as low calorie foods
[Discussion] Anyone scared they'll fuck up their kids?
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Sat Aug 12 17:22:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbpsd/anyone_scared_theyll_fuck_up_their_kids/
---
I'm not even a mom, nor will I be one any time soon, but I find myself wondering if I will fuck my kids up when I have them. Not that I want to fat shame them, but I don't want them to be big just because I don't want them to feel bad about themselves or be bullied or ever go through what I do. So I thought, then do I just count calories for them like I do for myself? How many calories do kids need? And I realized, what if that drives them to an eating disorder. Like what the fuck, how does one raise a child without them developing an eating disorder? HOW DO PEOPLE DO THAT???? H E L P
[Help] "Recovered" but struggling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 12 16:24:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbet7/recovered_but_struggling/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Everything about today was awful and I feel very alone.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 12 16:11:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tbc32/everything_about_today_was_awful_and_i_feel_very/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Frustrating as FUCK
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 12 15:50:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tb7zb/frustrating_as_fuck/
---
[removed]
[Intro] I'm new here, but not to ED
/u/Kit-Katt99
Created: Sat Aug 12 15:01:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tay4f/im_new_here_but_not_to_ed/
---
Hiya! I'm new here, but I've had an ED on and off for about three years. I recently went to the doctor for a physical (July 13th) and I was at my highest weight ever. I was 180lbs give or take a little. Today, August 13th I had my weigh in and yes, my ED is back. I'm 60.3 inches tall and lost 30lbs in a month. I'm now at 150.4 and extremely happy with that weight loss but nowhere near my goal weight. Sooo yeah, hello my people.
[Other] I planned on starting my fast today but binged instead :(
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Sat Aug 12 14:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tasog/i_planned_on_starting_my_fast_today_but_binged/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Our bodies are amazing?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:56:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6takwd/our_bodies_are_amazing/
---
Honestly. What we put our bodies through and achieve with our EDs in incredible.
Yesterday I ate a banana, half a melon, and a bag of frozen veg (unfrozen, of course). Today I have eaten nothing. I have worked productively today - finished my dissertation this evening after working on the dodgy bits all day. I'm in the uk so it is almost 9pm now, and I just got back from an 8 mile run. What struck me was this: IT WAS ALL EASY. I felt that I could have run another 8 miles, no problem. I'm not even feeling hungry. I feel great.
That's amazing, right? Our bodies absolutely kick ass.
So I thought we should all just take a minute to pat our physical selves on the back :)
[Rant/Rave] My roommate finally got in touch with me
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | GW:110 | UGW:90 | -32lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:52:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tak72/my_roommate_finally_got_in_touch_with_me/
---
I just got a dm from her and I checked her page and went to her photos . She’s hot and thin , I wanna kms 🙃🙃🙃. She seems so nice and she has a lot of confidence . I bet she’d want to take pictures together with me and I hate taking pictures when I’m overweight , or when I’m the bigger one of the two . This girl is so excited to meet me but secretly I’m super jealous of her and want her to be fat ?? I’m so conflicted . At least when I see her I’ll be reminded to not be a lard. Like irl thinspo in my face constantly , torturing me until I’m thinner than her. It’s bitter sweet .
[Discussion] I have a weird project going on. What was the exact contents of your last binge/purge?
/u/mariamegale
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tadzf/i_have_a_weird_project_going_on_what_was_the/
---
Typing this from the post-toiletbowl chair of shame.
I've been thinking about making a photography series along the lines of "what we eat vs how it comes out" in volume levels. I always freak out when I purge because I feel like what comes up is smaller than what I put in, so I thought it'd be fun to compare the volumes of actual chewed-up food to what's on the plate.
Yes, this is the grossest thing I think I've ever written out. Anyways, I'm interested. What was your last binge before the purge, in exact quantities?
Mine was one 200g milk chocolate bar, three hardbread sandwiches with one slice of ham and a layer of butter each, about two cups if crisps and one bottle of beer (fuck me, my soul and my savoury tooth, and fuck trying to get that back up.)
Toilet bowl did not represent evenly.
[Help] Ephedrine in the UK.
/u/doeings
Created: Sat Aug 12 13:10:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6tabb5/ephedrine_in_the_uk/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] When you binge...
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sat Aug 12 12:28:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ta2b3/when_you_binge/
---
[removed]
[Other] "Sabrina Benaim - "Explaining My Depression to My Mother"" on YouTube
/u/vaporeevie
Created: Sat Aug 12 10:41:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t9g2r/sabrina_benaim_explaining_my_depression_to_my/
---
https://youtu.be/aqu4ezLQEUA
[Tip] Was craving some pancakes...these were great!
/u/awayawaydown [6'0" | 135 | 17.6 | 125 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 10:15:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t9ajy/was_craving_some_pancakesthese_were_great/
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http://www.food.com/recipe/cinnamon-applesauce-pancakes-129670
I let myself relax a little this weekend since I have company. I made these pancakes with no sugar added applesauce and whole wheat flour. You could probably use Splenda or some such, but I did use the sugar it called for.
Each pancake was approximately 93 calories (possibly less with no sugar added applesauce). Probably would have tasted just as good without the added sugar, but I can't say for sure. I allowed myself a skiff of butter and a little real maple syrup. I gave myself two pancakes but was so full after 1.5 that I didn't eat the rest. So filling!
If your restricting philosophy aligns with mine (I allow myself real foods in small amounts - it keeps me from getting cravings for real food that leads to binges), then you may enjoy this recipe. It got a thumbs up from my company. The pancakes are lovely and moist, so do not require much syrup (I used to drown pancakes in syrup so they wouldn't be so dry).
All in all, only 230 calorie breakfast and off to a good day.
[Other] A Conversation With Myself
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:63.4kg | 19.4 | GW:58kg | M]
Created: Sat Aug 12 09:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t91mh/a_conversation_with_myself/
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I can never be sure with you, can I?
How does the sky work?
Shut up, we both know you're pressing for time. What for, anyway?
I can never know with you. You're always unsure, uncertain. What are you looking for? Perfection?
I'll never get it. We know that much. Is there anything you like about yourself?
Heaven in your eyes, summer in your lips.
Through eternity? Whatever you say.
You are my Angel. I love you.
Get over yourself. I know a lie when I see one.
You don't believe me. Of course you don't. Why would you?
Darling. Oh darling. I can't understand.
Fuck you, you fat fuck. That's right, eat it up. That's what you do. Now what? To the toilet? In jest, lie to your family, your friends. It's the only thing that will make you feel better.
You're a monster. A skinny, thin, beautiful...
Monster.
[Rant/Rave] I always think my mother is someone I can talk to. When will I learn??
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 09:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8z0o/i_always_think_my_mother_is_someone_i_can_talk_to/
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My mom grew up poor in a large family. I remember her telling me that her father would catch sparrows and rabbits and they'd eat those for dinner. So I understand why she has a distorted thought process when it comes to food. I was always listening to her saying she was fat, and watching her judging her body, or "if I wasn't fat," "my bust is too big," etc.
We never got to choose how much we ate or really what we ate. We always had to finish what she put on our plate. She'd ask if it was enough, we'd say yes, then she'd put more on our plate. She just didn't want us to be hungry. But it turned into a different problem.
My brother and I both developed eating disorders. We'd hide food, we would eat in private because we wanted to avoid criticism. He would restrict and purge. I would restrict, purge, give my food to the dog, throw away my lunches, go home on lunch break to purge. Even if my parents knew. They didn't say shit. My dad was the only one in the family that didn't say hurtful shit about weight gain/loss. He never made comments about our bodies.
My mom knew I wasn't eating and never said anything. I started eating for a bit and then stopped again. She noticed and said "you better not be doing that not eating shit again." that was so helpful!
Cut to these days. I got SO much better when I moved away from home and moved in with my boyfriend. He has such a healthy relationship with food. Well..too healthy..but he just taught me to be comfortable eating food. I gained weight, got fat, didn't notice though. Lost weight in a somewhat healthy way. But not enough. But I wasn't restricting. Up until two months ago.
I've fallen hard. It gets worse every day. I've reached my original goal weight but turns out...i was wrong when I wanted to weigh 125. Turns out, I really want to weigh 115! Im meeting with specialists to find out about recovery but I'm working hard on restricting until then.
I spent my appointment with my therapist yesterday preparing for my intake appointment. I called my mother afterwards even though I knew I probably shouldn't. I NEVER listen to my godamn gut instinct. I just want to be able to talk to my mom. I want her to understand. And say the right things. Or say nothing at all. But she always says something hurtful.
"you're working on it though right? Who am I kidding, of course you are."
I told her I absolutely wasn't. I'm working on losing weight.
"shame on you. That's wrong. You need to be eating more"
Oh..okay. I haven't considered that!
So it turns around into how I'm yelling at her and she doesn't want to deal with that. She puts my dad on the phone and he says "you know she doesn't know what to say" but every conversation I have with my father is so much more pleasant. He doesn't understand either but he tries. My mom got back on the phone and LIKE ALWAYS, ignores the problem and doesn't apologize for anything. Doesn't acknowledge anything. Let's just sweep it under the rug. "well I'll just find out any news about you from your father now" fucking fine. I'm 27. You'd think I would've learned who I can talk to about anything. But I never learn.
She texted me and told me she loved me. I'd usually respond, but I don't give a shit anymore. I'm tired of the guilt, and her making my problems about her. I don't want to blame her for my problems. But just like alcohol, she doesn't make them any better.
Unfortunately, this is why I don't want kids. I know my mother loved us so much. Maybe too much. I just can't fuck up my daughters life. Especially unintentionally.
TLDR: Mothers. The friend we want, but can't have.
Post your ED support tumblrs!
/u/acaporelli122
Created: Sat Aug 12 09:14:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8y8r/post_your_ed_support_tumblrs/
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Here is mine:
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/f-rick-f-rack
I will follow back everyone!
[Goal] Eating is more fun than dying
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 08:46:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8sy4/eating_is_more_fun_than_dying/
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(I guess this could be flaired Goal? Thanks mods love you <3)
I've been in a terrible relapse for the past three weeks. I thought I was doing okay, but I was lying to my mom and it was tearing me apart. I tried to tell her that I won't recover, as if for some reason she'd let me starve just because I wanted to, and obviously she got really upset.
I reached my lowest low today. I truly, truly wanted to die. I felt utterly alone and useless. I felt that I'd rather die than ever have to eat again.
But suddenly I realized: why? I only feel like this because the little demon inside me promised me happiness, but I haven't gotten any happiness. Just tears. Why do I want to kill myself, just because now my mom will watch me close enough that I can't hide food? That's not worth it.
I can do one of two things: sit around being suicidal, or eat. And somehow I realized that eating is a lot more fun.
I'm going to miss seeing my ribs. I'm going to miss feeling light and empty and unbreakable. Gaining weight in recovery is going to suck. But as miserable as the weight gain made me, it was restriction that got me to my lowest low earlier today. No more cheating. I'm recovering for me this time. I'm recovering because there's nothing but misery at the end of this road, at least for now. And if something changes, hey- I know how to go back to restriction.
So yeah. I have a feeling my stomach is going to hurt a lot for the next few days. Wish me luck, folks.
[Discussion] August 12th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 08:00:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t8km4/august_12th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What is your resolution for tomorrow?
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 12 06:10:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t83u6/stupid_questions_saturday_august_12_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 12, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 12 06:09:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t83op/daily_food_diary_august_12_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 12, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] Those long legs :OO maybe one day
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Sat Aug 12 04:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t7tbz/those_long_legs_oo_maybe_one_day/
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https://68.media.tumblr.com/335fddc92f96f9cc1a95af9278e0208f/tumblr_osxiic0iWq1u8bprdo1_1280.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Being thin is the only thing i am even remotely good at
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Sat Aug 12 02:09:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t7bhg/being_thin_is_the_only_thing_i_am_even_remotely/
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My life is an absolute failure, i have nothing else going for me, no talents or skills or looks or charm, the only thing i can do better than the people around me is have a slim waist
It occurs to me that my problems arent caused by ana, but rather ana is just a coping mechanism i use to feel better
[Rant/Rave] Was in an accident.
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 01:33:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t76yy/was_in_an_accident/
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On mobile, flair as other?
I'd wanted to post a few things Friday and over the weekend, but I was involved in a bad accident while biking home from my first day back at school (teacher), and I'll likely be laying low. I shouldn't be using my phone but I'm in a lot of pain and can't sleep.
No pictures for a while because I look like shit. Covered in lacerations, bruises, matted blood in my hair (not allowed to wash for a couple days with all my stitches), etc... I have a nasty concussion, but I got very lucky. They really thought I'd broken a few bones in my face.
Wear a helmet, guys. Wear a helmet.
I feel like an idiot for not doing it. Brand new bike. I was going to buy a helmet yesterday, but I ended up blowing through my budget on school supplies and decided I'd just order a nicer one online after my first paycheck arrives.
.... not worth it. On the bright side, it's incredibly difficult to eat anything with a concussion and this much pain. So there's that. Which is nice.
But I won't be riding again for a long while. So much for trying to boost up my calorie expenditure.
[Goal] Yay, I'm underweight (again!)
/u/FavorSlave- [5"8 | BMI 18.4 | F19]
Created: Sat Aug 12 01:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t748h/yay_im_underweight_again/
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Time to binge on everything in sight then cry myself to sleep
[Thinspo] Thought you guys might appreciate this - Lights is so insanely beautiful
/u/IndifferentMilkHotel [5'10" | 138 | 19.3 | -5 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 00:21:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t6y70/thought_you_guys_might_appreciate_this_lights_is/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyM8pMH2OF0
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever just hate your past self?
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 12 00:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t6xz0/do_you_ever_just_hate_your_past_self/
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So, tomorrow my mom and I are meeting a friend of hers for dinner to celebrate my engagement. Where are we going? Olive garden. I'm of course going through the menu beforehand and I decided to calculate the caloric value of what I used to get there. *How on Earth was I able to eat this stuff before*. I can't believe I used to be able to clear a whole bowl of fettuccine alfredo *with sausage*. That's 1770 calories. I just can't believe myself and I feel really disgusted. That's twice what I've been eating on the daily.
[Help] Will taking a progress pic every morning help more than weighing myself?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:43:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t6alt/will_taking_a_progress_pic_every_morning_help/
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[removed]
[Humor] The only upside to nuclear war
/u/daffodilhill [5'9" | GW 125]
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t69oj/the_only_upside_to_nuclear_war/
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https://www.facebook.com/cheerfulnihilism/videos/787201571441913/
[Tip] Fasting app
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:35:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t699s/fasting_app/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else deal with hate/sabotage attempts from jealous people?
/u/cryptic_constipator [5'3 | 95.4]
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:32:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t68ok/anyone_else_deal_with_hatesabotage_attempts_from/
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Now that I'm noticeably underweight I've noticed my chubby older sister is way more hostile towards me. She's the kind of person who goes on some fad diet without counting calories and then cheats every day, and goes to the gym but has no routine so she never makes any sort of progress. I've lost weight pretty quickly from doing nothing but weighing my food and sticking to my calorie limit every day, courtesy of anorexia.
She's insulted my hair out of jealousy of how long it is, she tells me the dairy, grains, and artificial sweeteners I eat will make me fat, she makes fun of my food scale (not even the fact that I use it. She made fun of the thing itself) and tried to break/de-calibrate it. Anything I do differently from her, she will find a way to make sure I know it's disgusting to her.
How do you deal with people like this? Of course it's because of their own insecurity and envy, but it's still so emotionally draining when all they ever want to do is undermine you.
[Goal] What is the shortest amount of time you have been able to reach you goal?
/u/Kayla647
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:29:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t688n/what_is_the_shortest_amount_of_time_you_have_been/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Fit into some old pants
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | HW:190 | GW:120 | UGW:100 | -32lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 11 21:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t65as/fit_into_some_old_pants/
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I’m getting ready to go to college so I’m going through all of my clothes .I was trying on some old clothing and I fit into my pants from middle school! I nearly cried . I always see myself as the biggest Ive ever been and it just shocked me so much that they fit. I’m still a whale , but god did I feel a little better ... until I found an even smaller pair from another year in middle school . All of that temporary happiness disappeared and I felt so disgusting . Trying on pant after pant , fitting into them , then coming across one that doesn’t even fit one thigh ? Pathetic .
[Discussion] How do you guys track your calories?
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 20:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5w0i/how_do_you_guys_track_your_calories/
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I find planning out the day's food gives me anxiety so scheduling is really hard for me. It's easier to coast through the day and keep pushing myself not to eat. I also struggle to keep up with apps that track calories; also it's inconvenient for me if I'm a social group.
At my work we have a free cafeteria without calorie counts. I know I shouldn't be eating there, but it's free. We have a lot of vegan / veggie options and everything is geared towards healthy stuff anyways.
[Tip] Countdown timers for fasting gives me motivation
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW scaredlikeamouse | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Fri Aug 11 20:10:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5uwp/countdown_timers_for_fasting_gives_me_motivation/
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[removed]
[Help] What pills work? Please help :(
/u/fleur_de_la_cunt
Created: Fri Aug 11 19:47:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5qut/what_pills_work_please_help/
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[removed]
[Discussion] So i hit a BIG goal weight.....now what do i do? lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 11 19:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5jsb/so_i_hit_a_big_goal_weightnow_what_do_i_do_lol/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] That feel when you have to lie
/u/SowoneulMalhaebwaa
Created: Fri Aug 11 18:11:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t58yp/that_feel_when_you_have_to_lie/
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My coworker said she was hungry and I said "yeah I'm cooking when I get home." She raised her eyebrows and said "You know, I've never seen you eat anything." And another girl was like "Yeah, me either." I was absolutely SCREAMING inside. I said "Oh I just don't like to eat at work! It makes me sleepy."
So as I sit here, laxatives twisting my intestines to knots, hunger roaring at my stomach... I'm happy with the progress I'm making. I can't wait to hear them say "Have you lost weight?".
[Help] Running out of music, please help!
/u/tragicheskiy [175cm | 65.5kg :'( | 21.02 | GW 55kg | -2 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 18:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t57w4/running_out_of_music_please_help/
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Hey peeps!
So I've been walking heaps and heaps but I am running out of music quickly - if anyone can help with some recommendations for walking/running/exercise music I would really appreciate it!
(Moderator sorry if this is not an appropriate post, please remove it if it is - :)
[Help] There was a little spot of blood after I purged
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Fri Aug 11 18:03:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t5772/there_was_a_little_spot_of_blood_after_i_purged/
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[removed]
[Help] Fasted for 23 hours, then ate 1/4c of rice... gained 6 pounds??????? Why??
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | 🐋 | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Fri Aug 11 17:33:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t51lo/fasted_for_23_hours_then_ate_14c_of_rice_gained_6/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 11 17:30:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t50zq/i_hate_myself/
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[removed]
[Help] Kind of a weird question about periods...
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:52:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4t7o/kind_of_a_weird_question_about_periods/
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So I know a lot of people with EDs tend to lose their periods. Based on my last one I felt like I was getting to that point....but not the case.
I've been quite the opposite since getting deeper into my ED. I get them every two weeks and it's as if I feel like I'm going to die. They pretty much knock me out for a few days and I just wAnt to sleep and the pain is crazy.
I know I should go to the doctor as I have a lot of health stuff but I'm not ready for recovery etc.... and am petrified of doctors.
I know ED messes with a lot of levels...Has anyone else experienced this?
[Discussion] The "Eating Issues & Body Image Continuum" from my nutrition book, thought y'all mind find it interesting too
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4qgm/the_eating_issues_body_image_continuum_from_my/
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https://i.redd.it/hy9fqwdzr6fz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] *tried to recover* *ends up bingeing every day* *ends up restricting to make up for it*
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:37:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4q5d/tried_to_recover_ends_up_bingeing_every_day_ends/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I can't do this anymore, I feel broken
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 130 | 21 | -41 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 16:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t4lp6/i_cant_do_this_anymore_i_feel_broken/
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TL;DR I'm an emotional mess
I'm turning 25 in less than a month and I'm still stuck here. Still around the same weight, binging and restricting to always end up in the same place. I wanted for people to see how sick I was, but not anymore. I just want to be a functioning adult. I have a job, I work 40 hours a week and I'm close to buying a freaking house and adopt a cat. I just want to be able to be normal again.
But I can't. When I start eating, I eat everything I can find. Moderation is something I don't know. I have to fast or eat anything. I'm an emotional mess right now and I don't know how to deal with this. My boyfriend doesn't know, just because he can't understand. I have two friends who know, but I know they've struggled with ED's in the past and I don't want to trigger them. I know I already did so I'm not telling anymore.
I'm just so lost right now and you're the only ones I know I can turn to.
[Rant/Rave] Why is nothing ever straight forward????
/u/ScottishWhale [5'2 | 166lbs | 30.3 | -26lbs | GW 115lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 11 15:08:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t46r7/why_is_nothing_ever_straight_forward/
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Hi guys, I'm a long time lurker but never really post. I only seem to post when shit like this happens and I really need support, so here goes!
Today started off really well, I weighed myself and had lost 3lbs! I've been doing over 10k steps and was just feeling well. My fiancé is moving up to my city in a few days and we plan to move into our flat the week after next. So today I bought little things for the flat and have just been in a good mood.
That is until this evening when he sends me a screen shot of a conversation. He was told by his work he would get a transfer to my city no bother and guaranteed hours to fit around his classes... and now today the manager messaged him saying this would no longer be possible????
I've been so excited about living together and now it feels as though it's been snatched away from me. I'm ugly crying because I know without him working we probably won't be able to afford the flat and everything just seems so shitty right now!
I just wanted this to go well 😭😭😭 I can't even be happy about my weight loss because it just doesn't seem good enough any more :(
[Rant/Rave] I'm alone <3
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 15:04:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t45vd/im_alone_3/
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My roommate is gone for the weekend.
I have until Sunday night to binge & purge and go running in the middle of the night and EC stack until I can't see straight.
I went to the gym for two hours yesterday and another two today, I might go again later tonight.
I haven't eaten anything since Wednesday.
I feel flawless.
I feel sick and dizzy and don't want to stand up but I know that I'm flawless.
[Discussion] Anyone else have weird non-weight related insecurities?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 200 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 15:00:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t44xa/anyone_else_have_weird_nonweight_related/
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Hey guys, I was feeling pretty down today, but this time it wasn't my weight, it was because I have dark hair and light brown eyes. My boyfriend said once before we were even dating that he liked red hair and green eyes the most, and I've just never let go if it :/ I'm not even sure if I don't like them objectively or if I'm just projecting the idea that I'll never be quite good enough onto my own opinion of myself?
But yeah, hair, eyes, my boobs are kind of uneven and I hate them, and I feel like my bone structure is really wide- like my rib cage is huge? These are the things that bum me out the most because I know I'll never really be able to do anything about them.
Does anyone else have little things like this that they hate?
Sometimes I wonder if I really do have BDD.
[Tip] Finally, drinkable alcohol that's not just shots!
/u/planningfallacy_
Created: Fri Aug 11 14:59:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t44iz/finally_drinkable_alcohol_thats_not_just_shots/
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https://i.redd.it/imsyg4t8a6fz.jpg
[Help] how do you go about getting a diagnosis, or even just bringing your issues up?
/u/siamesealmeidaa [height:5'5" | CW:95lbs | BMI:15.8| weight lost:43lbs | gender:F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 14:14:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3u9n/how_do_you_go_about_getting_a_diagnosis_or_even/
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Should I just make an appointment for like, a physical? I've been confronted recently about my ED, and I need a prescription refill so I should probably try to Do Something™ while I'm there. thank you guys 💖
[Rant/Rave] A girl on Facebook called me a fat bitch so I thought I'd pull myself back to reality and address it.
/u/kimberlyjackson98 [5'4 | CW 223.8 lbs | 39.27| -7 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 13:59:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3qly/a_girl_on_facebook_called_me_a_fat_bitch_so_i/
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I'm back after a long hiatus. I was gonna get better and try to confront my ED and unhealthy relationship with food. What ended up happening was an unhealthy relationship with food and I gained 10lbs. Since yesterday morning I've been fasting. My stomach size had probably quadrupled while I was fooling myself thinking it was okay to over indulge. Really food became my comfort as I was dealing with work stress and relationship issues as well as coming to terms with my sister going back to college. All an amazing recipe to engorge myself.
Well yesterday was my final straw. My sister had left, me and my boyfriend addressed some issues that were long overdue. And a girl on Facebook called me a fat bitch during an argument about racism. I played it off cool, and handled it with as much grace as I could but she was right. And I hate her even more for being a skinny bitch. She made sure to include her weight for some reason? Maybe she has an ED too but now I know she weighs 117lbs.
Anyways I didn't eat all day besides a tablespoon of peanut butter and 2 glasses of OJ as well as 1 glass of water. I started smoking again as well which has helped with curbing my appetite. I'm gonna try to hold off until dinner to eat, as I am cooking my boyfriend dinner because he feels as though I don't love him and am not showing him by reciprocating something. He's truly amazing and I feel this is the least I can do to show him I appreciate all that he does.
Last night while he was driving he was supposed to buy me Taco Bell but they were closed so he came back at 2 am and fell asleep. I woke up and my fatass started crying because after that long day I just wanted to binge. I felt pathetic that I was crying so I went back to sleep too. Looks like I am back to day 1.
[Rant/Rave] rave: went to the convenience store
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 13:47:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3nqy/rave_went_to_the_convenience_store/
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....AND DIDN'T COME OUT WITH TWO BAGS FULL OF BINGE FOOD! I mean it probably helps that I already binged last night and so anything but my safe foods sounds absolutely disgusting rn but!!! I'm proud regardless.
I was anxious because my mind began wandering to stuffing an entire pint of ice cream right there in the store but nope, I remained strong! Bought my lunch (coke zero, chicken wrap & fruit for dessert), some chewing gum bc it helps me not binge, and greek yogurt because I'd run out. Not more and not less. Fuck yeah.
It must sound so stupid to normies to be able to buy food without putting a tiny container of ice cream in and out of your basket over and over like 60 times, but fuck it, I'm proud of myself.
[Tip] Tips for not binging??
/u/BrightonSeaWitch
Created: Fri Aug 11 13:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t3k6e/tips_for_not_binging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Those of you who have been pregnant *discussion*
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5 | 113.6 | - 7.6 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t36az/those_of_you_who_have_been_pregnant_discussion/
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Mobile, no flair.
Getting married in the fall, fiancé and I are thinking of trying for a baby next year sometime.
We're both finished school, in a good place financially, own a place, have two cars, health insurance (and we live in Canada so medical costs are mostly non-existent), live close to family, and we'll be married. So I feel like I've checked all of the boxes I wanted to check before trying, you know?
I've always wanted to be a Mom, but man... pregnancy, childbirth, and a post-partum body terrify me.
I have like, zero self confidence and I know that I will eat well for the sake of the baby but I'm worried about how wrecked I'll be mentally, having to get bigger and have my body poked and prodded and examined, and how I might accidentally show eating disordered habits in front of my kids one day, or how I'll teach them healthy body image when I don't have it myself.
I've been taking prenatal vitamins so I can hopefully be healthy when we do start trying, but also restricting my calories because I have the wedding dress to fit into first.
Sometimes I worry if I'm even fertile... like maybe I won't be able to get pregnant? Or maybe I'll miscarry? Then I'll feel so awful because I've done it to myself.
I don't have a question I just want to hear your thoughts and experiences with this sort of thing, really.
[Discussion] What's your gym routine when you want to burn a ton of calories?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2zlk/whats_your_gym_routine_when_you_want_to_burn_a/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [Discussion] What's your gym routine when you want to burn a ton of calories?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2zfh/discussion_whats_your_gym_routine_when_you_want/
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[deleted]
[Goal] DUUUUDE my stomach is near flat now!!!!
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Fri Aug 11 12:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2xhv/duuuude_my_stomach_is_near_flat_now/
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I say near because I still got a few rolls when I slouch or something, but I can freely stand up and move around and go about my day, and not have to do that weird sucking in your stomach thing lol. I can almost see my hips bone when I lay down wich I'm pretty thrilled about. My sisters just told me she has been bretty jelly of my weight loss wich was cool I told her she can do it to! but I like told her the healthy way to do it lol. l have been waiting for this day since I started at like 198 pushing 200 lbs in January now I'm closer to my goal. On another note I hate when people say I'm getting to far underweight and I should eat more when I'm 140 like dude noooo....that's so not underweight, especially at my height like you haven't even seen where I'm about to get to.
More than halfway to my UGW!
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:31:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2pk8/more_than_halfway_to_my_ugw/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2pfs/more_than_halfway_to_my_ugw/?ref=search_posts&utm_source=ifttt
[Goal] More than halfway to my UGW!
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:30:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2pfs/more_than_halfway_to_my_ugw/
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I'm down 31 pounds in the last 3 months, and have 30 pounds to go before I hit my UGW! I may even make it there before Christmas! It feels so *attainable* now.
I'd like to thank everyone in my life who destroyed me mentally and emotionally for getting me to this point. I could've never done it without y'all. <3
[Discussion] Craving sweet foods?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:30:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2p76/craving_sweet_foods/
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I've been craving chocolate non-stop for about a week and it's starting to drive me insane.
I thought that by having bits of chocolate at the end of the day as a 'treat' I'd satisfy my craving but that isn't doing anything. I eat 'too much' in my bid to scratch this itch so I fast 24 hours and break my fast with a 'light' meal and eat my chocolate despite being stuffed to the point of nausea.
I think I've been hovering in weight, which is good, but also stressful because I want to reach a certain weight in a month (for my birthday), which isn't going to happen if I'm eating nothing except high calorie sweet things. I've honestly considered just pouring honey into my mouth because we have like 12 bottles of it so mum wouldn't notice if some went missing. It probably won't stop the sugar craving and I know this, but all I want is sugar, specifically chocolate.
I think I might call my GP and ask for advice once they open on Monday.
[Rant/Rave] guys i've figured it out
/u/kittencow
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2nrv/guys_ive_figured_it_out/
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[removed]
[Discussion] When was the last time you were happy?
/u/ggreatgoat
Created: Fri Aug 11 11:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2key/when_was_the_last_time_you_were_happy/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2key/when_was_the_last_time_you_were_happy/
[Discussion] Has anyone tried Bronkaid for weight loss?
/u/kbdehoyos
Created: Fri Aug 11 10:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t2be6/has_anyone_tried_bronkaid_for_weight_loss/
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Heard it's a good appetite suppressant and fat burner taken along with caffeine says work like a charm. I took 1 pill this morning with my skinny coffee which has about 150mg of caffeine...it's about lunch time and I'm not hungry at all
[Other] Memories
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Fri Aug 11 10:21:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t28b5/memories/
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https://i.redd.it/tnb39oaow4fz.jpg
[Other] In case you haven't yet heard about Halo Top's PUMPKIN PIE flavor
/u/NerdBird49 [5'5.5" | HW: 216 | LW: 136 | CW: ~150 | UGW: 116 lbs | F 20]
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:59:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t22yi/in_case_you_havent_yet_heard_about_halo_tops/
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https://www.google.nl/amp/www.delish.com/food-news/news/amp54821/halo-top-pumpkin-pie-ice-cream/
[Discussion] How many calories does masturbating burn?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:58:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t22v9/how_many_calories_does_masturbating_burn/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Gained a pound last night. Already binging this morning
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:36:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1xie/gained_a_pound_last_night_already_binging_this/
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[removed]
[Help] Faking weight for Dr's apt?
/u/mainechick [5'4'' | CW 131 lb | GW 120 | UGW 107]
Created: Fri Aug 11 09:13:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1s92/faking_weight_for_drs_apt/
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[removed]
[Help] Hydroxycut is giving me seizures. I don't know how to eat normally without it. Any advice?
/u/95CHOI
Created: Fri Aug 11 08:41:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1kpp/hydroxycut_is_giving_me_seizures_i_dont_know_how/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Vyvanse prescriptionc for binge eating. Rage. Premeditated murder.
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Fri Aug 11 08:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t1kah/rant_vyvanse_prescriptionc_for_binge_eating_rage/
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I'm 26, male, 250 lbs, and struggled my entire life in silence. Family and friends have noticed my restricting and binging at times, but they generically know me as guy-with-no-discipline.
I have been all weights. I have fit all stereotypes. When i was a kid i told myself i wanted to be an actor (who doesn't!?) but I'm pretty sure i made that decision because i saw how in-control they were of their weight since they changed it for roles. I wanted to believe i was capable of the same.
I care more about body fat percentage (BF%) since weight doesnt matter as much for us if we are muscular. It is not easy to get muscular without being fat, and without steroids, so don't get too envious.
The hardest part about ED is the difference in how people treat you. It really is the most hurtful part. More hurtful than knee or lower back pain. More than avoiding swimming for the last 10 years of my life.... Just people treating u so nicey nice when you're lean, and shitty when you are overweight.
I don't know who i am losing weight for anymore. But it aint fucking society...not anymore. Sure, i want people to treat me better, but i will always know it's because im good-looking (if i ever get over this and lose weight!). I will always be jaded. But whatever. I still want to lose the weight, and not gain it back like every other time. I'll take the fake niceness of strangers in the future. Maybe even use it to my advantage for monetary gain as some sort of petty personal revenge. Or just generic survival.
Job interviews will be much easier again if i can get back to the physique i used to be. There's no point in applying now. I don't want to fail interviews because of the inverse halo effect. Being more attractive than your interviewer gives you instant psycho-social leverage over them. I didn't write the rules. In fact, i hate them. But it is the way it is. Id rather judge people by their character and how good they are to others. Maybe i still will. But society doesn't. And that's a pill i have to swallow and move on with.
I will never trust people who are good to me when i lose the weight. I will never be able to trust in a relationship, not that that's a bad idea. I will never make truely close friends again because they only hurt you by calling you lazy when your ED gets the best of you and you gain weight. They tell you you are reaching for medical excuses for your laziness when you reach out to them for support and disclose your diagnoses.
I'm done with everything in life except getting to my goal BF% and staying there there forever - til i die. It's sad, but my new sole goal in life is to get to my goal weight. I don't expect a prize at the end. Well, except for people treating me waaaaaaay fucking more respectfully, like they have in the past.
I'm done with everything. No personal accomplishments or life experiences do anything for me if i am overwieght. It robs the fun from EVERYTHING. So I'm done trying to "be happy" in ways other than weight loss.
Current BF%: 37
Goal BF%: 15
I know i still wont like myself. I know I'll have lose skin (was 285lbs a few times in the past 2 years). Theres nothing i can do about it. I'll still never want to be seen shirtless. But at least people won't know off the bat why that is since I'll look normal in clothes. Not that i should care about fucking societal opinions.
I'm done with everything.
Oh yeah. Vyvanse.... Taking it reduces my chances of binging in the day from like 80 to 20%. I've only binged this past month so much because i elected to skip my meds.
Never again, for 90 days. I'm committing to the meds, even if they destroy my sleep and bowels. I'm not taking anymore breaks for 90 consecutive days. Even if i binge, which is unlikely.
At my age, i would know by now if there were any sure-fire way to avoid binging in the day, but there isn't. I used to think exercise prevented binging, but it doesn't. It just reduces the chances to like 55%. That's not enough. Not for my goals. Not for my mental health. Same for dating or socializing. Sometimes the angst of going out fended off binges. But that external validation seeking isn't a way i want to live. I hate society more and more, despite knowing i am a part of the problem (e.g. only dating beautiful women and rather be single than with someone else imperfect like me....yes i know how fucked that is).
This ED has turned me into a basket case. I wish i hadn't outweighed my father at 11 years old. I wish he wasn't proud of how big i was getting since i was taller as well. I wish my mom didn't low-key suffer from depression-fueled eating which my sister and I learned/inherited... My sister was such a beatufil girl. The world could have been her oister. Even her skinny friends were envious of how pretty she was and complimented her on it. Now she's sitting at +300lbs. Still pretty ofcourse, but i can tell that this life will be hard for her when she approaches her 40s. I hope my sharing of the ED stuff with her will help her avoid medical suffering in the future because she seems to be on the verge and I'm realising now that family is all I'll have. She wants to get married and have kids. She has a bf. I hope she has the health to carry through with her pursuit of happiness.
Anyway, this turned into a rant. But my point is i know i need to stick to the vyvanse no matter what. I need to murder ED. God knows he's tried his best to get me.
I'm a fighter at heart. National champion as a teen. Fought off dozens of boys who tried jumping me as a teen because they thought the extra fat on me meant i was out of shape and was an easy target... Race was a reason as well but that's another story... I've been absolutely filled with rage my entire life. Mostly because i hate myself. Now i know it's not me i hate. It's ED. I have one last fight in me.
**I am going to kill ED**
God knows he's tried his best to get me to commit suicide so many times since i was 6. It's time to return the favour. He's fucking done. I'm coming for him. Piece of shit has no chance.
/rant. :'(
[Help] Who here has lost weight gained from recovery and how were you successful?
/u/ballerinainpain [5'5" | 117 | 19.45 | GW: 75]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:50:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t19km/who_here_has_lost_weight_gained_from_recovery_and/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Ah. Living with an ED....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:49:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t19e2/ah_living_with_an_ed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Being constantly told I look 'healthy'.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 118 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:49:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t19d2/being_constantly_told_i_look_healthy/
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A few compliments I've been given since restricting again (day 45, average 750kcal).
'Wow, you look so healthy, what have you been doing'
'Your face is so healthy looking, ***** told me you've given up meat, I need to try this'
'Your father told me you're looking really well, keep it up!'
On one hand this is lovely, they are only being lovely, and I know that (despite still not being able to face the scale) I am doing something right. (My flair is from my last visit to the doctors, 1 and a half months ago).
On the other hand I wish I could tell the truth that the last word I need to hear right now is healthy. Not only is it reinforcing the idea that restriction is actually the best medicine for all my mental ailments but it's also making me feel that I'm not doing enough, not restricting enough, not losing enough.
Is it evil of me that I wish they would say I look thin, or even unhealthy?
[Other] Goodbye, and thanks
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5'3" | CW: 89 | GW: 87 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:38:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t16yp/goodbye_and_thanks/
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I think I'm finally done with starving myself. I'm not technically at my goal weight right now, but I think it's good enough, and I feel sort of reluctant to go any farther. I'll try hard to not restrict and to just eat like I used to from now on. Though there'll probably be times when I feel like restricting again, I'll try to get past those urges and move on. Plus, even though I guess I have anorexia, I've always loved good-tasting food.
For some weird reason, I think I'm going to miss starving myself. I know it's messed up, but I think I'll miss feeling the bones in my hands and wrists, having blue fingernails, and just being really skinny overall. But I know being this underweight is very dangerous, and I know I have to stop.
Sorry if this post has been all over the place. I honestly don't really know why I'm writing this; I guess it's to release some of my thoughts and feelings to people who I know will understand.
I haven't been a very active member in this community, and I've only been here for about a month. But from the time I've spent in here, I can confidently say that this sub is one of the most supportive, understanding subs I've been in. Thanks everyone, I wish the best for all of you.
[Discussion] I know I have a problem but I don't know if I want to fix it
/u/lolligagger3000
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:26:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t14m4/i_know_i_have_a_problem_but_i_dont_know_if_i_want/
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I know that my kind isn't popular in the sub but I have body dysmorphia. Thing is that I'm a 17 old male so that means that instead of having the normal ED I focus on training and eat only with the purpose of fueling my muscles.
I've met plenty lf guys who went crazy about getting shredded and big, specially now that summer is in sight, but this has been going for far too long for it to be a temporary obsession.
People look weirdly at me for the inmense amount of food that I eat and constantly ridiculize it, but it doesn't really bother me because I know that I'm much healthier than everyone I know. Any of them calculate what they eat? Count their macros? Hell, do they even know what they should be eating?
It slowly became an unhealthy obsession as months passed but I don't know if my mind made it or the comments of the people did it.
Every time I see someone after some time they tell me I look huge, every time I talke off my hoodie the compliments start coming in, girls ask me to flex and feel my arms. This surely sounds like a humblebrag but it really isn't, how can this be any good if 1) they are probably hurting my mind 2) the only opinion I really care about is myself's and I believe I'm looking small as fuck.
Next month is when shit will get serious, the cut will start and I will have to lose like 15lbs if done right without losing my precious muscle, which is sadly impossible.
What do you think is better? To treat yourself and be "cured" from the obsession and become fat/skinny again or to keep going and build an incredible body at the cost of your mental health?
[Rant/Rave] I ate 4 slices of pizza yesterday and gained 1.8lbs
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:18:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t12zv/i_ate_4_slices_of_pizza_yesterday_and_gained_18lbs/
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Not even like shitty greasy pizza. It was 1000 calories total as per the restaurant website and total calories for the day were still under 1500. I also went for a huge walk afterwards.
Like, I know it's just water weight because glycogen, but FML. Losing weight is the only thing that makes me happy anymore and now I have to waterfast all weekend.
[Goal] Self-challenge: How small can I get?
/u/justalittlesmaller [5'2" | 99 | 18.1 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:16:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t12i0/selfchallenge_how_small_can_i_get/
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http://imgur.com/a/JJRqE
[Discussion] I'm a decade into disordered eating. How did it begin for you?
/u/jessiemariexx
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:15:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t12gw/im_a_decade_into_disordered_eating_how_did_it/
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Edit: I just want to thank everyone who has been courageous and shared their story with us. I've read them all and my heart hurts for what everyone has been through.
If anyone needs a friend, I am always around. PM me or add on 🍑 nitrostout.
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I'm 24 currently, for reference.
I recall being 14 and laying on the couch with my (ex)boyfriend. He was touching my sides and stomach and said "you know, I really love skinny girls. You should try losing weight, you'd be hotter". This is the first time I'd ever heard someone talk about my weight this way. I had always thought I was pretty normal. I was about 145lb (5'9"), but didn't work out or play any sports.
I was in love with the guy in the infatuated, lusty way that 14 year old girls with raging hormones are, so I started looking online for dieting tips. I found one of those super old school pro-Ana websites and started reading the "rules". It looked like a religion to me. I remember thinking "wow, this is fucked up", but the way they worded things shamed "fat" (aka me, in my mind) people so much that I felt like I was at the very bottom of society and knew I needed to change. The knowledge tainted me.
I started obsessively learning about calories and nutrition on my own. The multiple weigh-ins every day began, as well as body checks, measuring my waist, wrapping fingers around my wrists to make sure they were small enough. I got a treadmill (I don't even know how I paid for it) and put it in my room. I'd turn off the air, put on a sweatshirt with a hood and sweatpants and run for as long as I could. I ate nothing but apples and Frosted Flakes for a good 3 months or so and lost 15-20 pounds rapidly over the summer.
I joined the tennis team to try to be more "normal" and active. I was the worst one by far and I was constantly blacking out and in pain from the heat because my body wasn't getting what it needed. I'd watch my teammates go out and eat huge plates of food and look thin and toned. I wondered why I was so broken that I couldn't eat like that. Aren't teenagers supposed to have crazy high metabolisms?
The praise I got for loosing weight! Oh, the praise. I was on cloud 9. So much male attention. Suddenly all the boys were after me. My mom was even jealous and tried to follow some of my tips. Everyone was complimenting me on my weight loss. My boyfriend was all over me, was proud to show me off, and wanted sex more than ever. Ffwd a month of so, bf goes on vacation and has a threesome with two girls in Florida. Showed me pics of them. They were perfect and even skinnier than me. We broke up and I spiraled.
I basically stopped eating until I was blacking out and passing out in my classes. Someone contacted my mom and she started forcing me to eat a little more. I had all the tricks up my sleeve to prevent this from happening, so I stayed at 109lb for a good year. I was inexperienced and didn't realize that the path I was taking would literally lead to my inevitable death from starvation, so my body went into full repair mode by senior year of high school. This was around the same time I started resorting to sex and sexual attention to feed my need for validation. A series of terribly abusive relationships followed, the most recent being a year ago with a guy who I now have a personal protection order against.
When I was in repair mode, my mom encouraged me to eat as much as I could. I don't know if she meant harm, but it felt like she was taunting me. We would go to the store and buy cartons of ice cream, cheese, chips, etc. I'd sit in front of the TV and eat everything with reckless abandon. I would try to vomit and couldn't. I'd try to exercise but was too depressed. I blew up to 158lb. I hated myself. I was a sloth because I was so depressed about my body. I cut off all of my friends. None of them understood the pain I was in. I wanted to kill myself but didn't have the courage. I felt truly worthless.
I moved out of my moms and immediately went into restriction mode again and basically never turned back. This was done with the "help" of cocaine, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, adderall, and tramadol which I was horribly addicted to from 17-21. It's been 6 years since that day and I still haven't wavered much, aside from teetering between 110-125lb max.
I basically destroyed my reputation by becoming a cam girl (showing my face) during this time. Edit: I should clarify... very conservative midwestern town, family is conservative Christians so they want nothing to do with me. Thankfully I still have my mom. I'm not embarrassed but I'm sad, because people judge me for this time in my life due to closed mindedness. To be honest, I enjoyed doing it, because it didn't require the same amount of energy that a "normal" job did, and I made good money. But.. that's life.
So here I am now, 24, in a relationship with an older man I'm not sure I deserve, who is older and mature and can "handle" my past. I have the knowledge that he likes thicker girls yet I continue to starve myself. Go figure.
Hell of a disease it is.
[Goal] Finally! I lost 100lbs. I'm 5'5 and went from 294 to 193. I've still got a ways to go but the biggest hurtle is over!
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 07:04:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t103m/finally_i_lost_100lbs_im_55_and_went_from_294_to/
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https://i.redd.it/qrz9qcrgx3fz.jpg
[Help] Eating less with family.
/u/katsudonbritty
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0z7h/eating_less_with_family/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Rant| Woman at work lecturing me on Truvia
/u/geekgirlalicia
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:44:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0w4t/rant_woman_at_work_lecturing_me_on_truvia/
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This happened not even 15 minutes ago so I'm still pissed and I just need to rant to someone who gets it. So I have a giant ass mug that I take to work every morning to use for coffee. It holds a lot of coffee and keeps me full enough that I don't need to eat anything for most of the day. I put 3 Truvia packets in it. Sue me for liking sweet coffee.
So I'm minding my business and making fresh coffee for a couple of the urns we have in the break room, and this old bat comes up and goes "*Oh* my *goooddddd*, you use *three* Truvia?!" So I kind of awkwardly laugh and go "Haha, yep. It's a pretty big mug."
And she just starts going on and on about how bad all sugars and artificial sweeteners are, and how her *"nutritionist friend"* told her all about what it does to your body and how everyone should live a completely sugar-free life like she does.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT SOME MEASLY BIT OF TRUVIA DOES TO MY BODY. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT CALORIE COUNT. NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR SELF-RIGHTEOUS ADVICE ON SUGAR. LET ME DESTROY MY BODY IN FUCKING PEACE.
[Discussion] August 11th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:38:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0v1r/august_11th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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How many stamps are in your passport?
[Thinspo] Long hair and skinny legs
/u/cheesycreamylasagna [5"2 | CW: 122 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0qo3/long_hair_and_skinny_legs/
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https://i.redd.it/h9v7fi5so3fz.jpg
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0qam/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for August 11, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0q9w/daily_food_diary_august_11_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 11, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] [Help] How to deal with people congratulating you when they see you eat?
/u/petite-insolite
Created: Fri Aug 11 06:05:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0ouu/help_how_to_deal_with_people_congratulating_you/
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Ever since I began to start losing hair, and bruising incredibly easily, people have started to take notice of how little I've actually been eating. I've managed to keep my restricting quiet and away from most people, but one of the people who actually knew, told everyone the clear reason why I was losing hair was because of malnutrition. Then everyone really did begin to realise.
Now, every time I eat, whether it be a chicken nugget or 3/4 of a brownie, I'm congratulated. It is such an awful feeling having people cheer for you eating, when all you feel like doing is throwing up, or exercising until you feel sick. I don't know what to do, and with my hair falling out, people are really trying to push me to eat. I can't handle this pressure.
I tried, but it has just made me want to restrict harder, exercise harder, push me harder. I am not ready to be eating anything more than 600-700 calories a day. I used to be okay with just seeing food, but now even the sight of it makes me feel sick and anxious.
How do you cope when people are cheering you on but you don't want to keep going?
[Thinspo] Back Side Thinspiration 08.77
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:46:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0lls/back_side_thinspiration_0877/
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http://imgur.com/a/3xmvF
[Discussion] DAE have food nightmares??
/u/fiberopticjellyfish [5'2" | CW 156.8 | GW 110 | BMI 29.8 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0l45/dae_have_food_nightmares/
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Hey everyone! This is my first post in here so I guess this is kinda my introduction. I've had ENDOS for 11 years. I used to lean more towards purging, until I met my now husband at 17. Now I restrict after binging. Anyways I'm currently in a restricting phase and I was wondering if anyone else has nightmares about eating way too much food. Last night I had a dream I ate a huge cinnamon roll and a bag of lays 😳. I woke up in a panic before realizing it didn't actually happen. I really enjoy this subreddit. I've been lurking for a week or so and I finally feel like I belong somewhere. Thanks for being amazing guys!
[Rant/Rave] [RAVE] tinder date said I weigh "like, 70 pounds!"
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0isk/rave_tinder_date_said_i_weigh_like_70_pounds/
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First of all just wanted to say HAPPY FRIDAY! 💚 and if you don't already have me on peach add me @ goldpetals
Okay soooo last night I had a date with a guy I met on tinder. We've been chatting for a while and have a few friends in common. Anyways he was talking about the restaurant he works at and how he sometimes has to deal with irrational or obscene customers. I made a joke I would come into the restaurant he works at and make a ruckus. Then he went on to make a joke about how he would actually prefer someone like me who "weighs like 70 pounds" would do that because then he could just "pick them up with one hand and throw them out" 😂😂 is it weird that my heart skipped a beat? Hana
[Discussion] DAE get really bloated & go up weight for a couple days after taking laxatives?
/u/Raining-Lemons [5"2 | CW 111.8 | GW 100 | UGW 95 | 26F | 🍑 RainingLemons]
Created: Fri Aug 11 05:04:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0eur/dae_get_really_bloated_go_up_weight_for_a_couple/
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Just wondering if this is a normal thing. Any time I take them, my stomach is sick for days & my weight seems to either go up or maintain when it should be going down.
Anyone else?
[Intro] Intro/Rock Bottom
/u/Littleduckling8667
Created: Fri Aug 11 04:42:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t0bp6/introrock_bottom/
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I'm posting this now so I can start being accountable. Long time lurker, rare poster. I've been battling ED for probably 4-5 years, was maintaining at 130 (maybe subtly trying to keep losing), but in the past year I've gained 25lbs... I feel repulsive. My LT boyfriend and I broke up two months ago and I've been binging ever since. I signed up for the usual dating apps to get back out there but I honestly feel embarrassed showing up to dates. I'm not this fat person, I'm a gross fat shell of what I used to be.
I hired my PT on again for twice a week to keep me going and kick my ass back into shape, but the food is my main problem. I don't understand why I can't just be like other people and go on a normal diet and stick to it. I'll be good at 1000-1200 for a few days/until the weekend and then I'll binge and lose control again. I'm so frustrated and unhappy.
Not sure what I'm trying to accomplish with this post other than saying hi! And that I'm going to post more often for support and to keep myself on track because being this unhappy all the time in my body cannot last.
My stats (because I can't figure out how to add them): 5'10/F/CW: 156/HW: 156/LW: 132/GW: 125
Flair: rant/rave?
[Discussion] Weird things you eat to feel like you've eaten but aren't many calories
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 04:11:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t07a0/weird_things_you_eat_to_feel_like_youve_eaten_but/
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Nutritional yeast and low carb ketchup happened last night, pretty tasty
[Rant/Rave] I just ate five saltines covered with soy sauce, vegenaise, and powdered parm
/u/blerg1234567
Created: Fri Aug 11 04:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t06i9/i_just_ate_five_saltines_covered_with_soy_sauce/
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Apparently I was craving salt after only consuming alcohol all day. It was fucking delicious, and I'm gonna be bloated as fuck tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] I'm not good at anything.
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 03:18:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6t001j/im_not_good_at_anything/
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I like to believe I'm a nice/friendly person but it's so hard for me to keep friends around long-term. Like, I can make friends with people I first meet but it never lasts long. I also don't feel like I fit in with any of the friends that I have been able to keep around long-term. I don't mind being by myself most of the time, but anytime I want to hangout with someone, I feel as though I have no one that I genuinely want to hangout with.
I don't belong in my university program. I didn't have the experience that everyone else did when they applied for the program, and I'm not getting any of the experience that fellow students are currently getting during the program (possibly due to my own laziness/not giving a shit?). I've gotten to a point where I'm so sick of my program that I'm literally forgetting important information because I just don't care anymore, which in the end is making it harder to just get my shit done so I can leave. I'm so close to being done though, that it would be stupid of me to quit, plus I wouldn't be able to find a stable job without it. Fuck, I don't even know if I'll be able to find a job once I have the degree, or if I'll even like the job I end up getting.
I'm super shitty at sleeping which doesn't help anything. I'm exhausted every single day with no explanation why. I've taken sleep tests and gone to my doctor and there's apparently no explanation? My lack of sleep affects everything I do at work or home because I'm not functional/productive.
I'm not even "good" at having an ED. I always feel like I'm counting calories wrong or eating too much and not losing any weight no matter how much I restrict.
Literally the only thing I'm semi-good at is taking care of my SO and pets, and doing stuff around the house.
I feel like such a failure and I have no idea what the fuck to do about it. I'm too fucking tired to do anything about it.
[Intro] I'm back after gaining a shit ton of weight
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 03:16:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szzsm/im_back_after_gaining_a_shit_ton_of_weight/
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Reintroduction, I guess?
I've missed you guys so much. I don't know if some of you remember me/know me but I used to be super active last year.
I tried to commit suicide a few months ago (took 40+ pills) so my doctor stopped prescribing me Ritalin LA. This caused me to start binging every single day. Like, 2000-4000 cals. I gained 30+ pounds and I want to kill myself more than ever. Only thing stopping me is having people see my disgusting body when I'm dead, lol.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling super good today!
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:57:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szpsh/feeling_super_good_today/
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The past few days I've felt like shit, I was super bloated from my period and I felt like a big fat failure esp since my scale's battery died and I haven't been able to replace it. Anyway, I got my wisdom teeth taken out the first day of my period. I usually eat a lot during my period but I couldn't this week bc my gum clots had to heal, of course. I've been eating soup and ice cream everyday and today I felt a little thinner when I looked in the mirror. I don't know why but I decided to try on a pair of shorts I bought that have been feeling waaay too tight on me for the past two months and they weren't totally uncomfortable anymore? Then I went on trying on almost everything in my closet and everything felt a little less snug. It was so nice! I also feel awesome today because I recently changed my daily calorie limit to 500 calories and all I had was a can of soup (120 cal) and half a serving of gatorade (40 cal) and I burned off 535 calories from walking. Obviously I was starving and just ended up eating some ice cream too and logged it as 2 servings (300 cal) even though I probably didn't actually have two servings. If I wanted to I could literally eat 500 something calories more worth of whatever but I wont. I have never felt more in control. The best part? I have to do it all over again soon because I still have two wisdom teeth left in my mouth.
Bmi calculators
/u/afycsoem [5'2 | CW 133lbs | BMI 37.30 | GW 80lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:55:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szpis/bmi_calculators/
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[removed]
[Tip] Tips to lose weight quickly
/u/abhishekbong
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:35:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szmyf/tips_to_lose_weight_quickly/
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https://blog.100mph.in/2017/03/01/6-essentials-for-a-healthy-lifestyle/
[Rant/Rave] I can't believe I'm so close
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 122 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 11 01:32:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6szmkk/i_cant_believe_im_so_close/
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guys.
this relapse began in late February this year, and I weighed 72 kg as my SW.
I weighed myself this morning, and finally, after plateauing and fucking up for ages...
49.9 kg.
my goal is 44.4 (I like the fact that it's all the same number and 7 stone sounds perfect), but I never thought I'd get here. I'm a little nervous it's some kind of cosmic joke or that my scales are wonky but ahhhhh!!!!
[Goal] Buying clothes
/u/theironyengine [F26 | CW 130 | UGW 115 ]
Created: Thu Aug 10 23:07:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sz1ez/buying_clothes/
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I had to pick the extra small size at Joe Fresh first because I could see that the small was too big just by how it hung on the rack.
Even extra small is loose on me but it is Joe Fresh so I think they size larger but still!!!
Small joys.
[Other] Just dug food out of the trash for the first time..
/u/RedditRanOutOfNamess [5'9 | GW: 120 | -15 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sythr/just_dug_food_out_of_the_trash_for_the_first_time/
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Someone please tell me I'll be okay because I fucking hate myself
[Rant/Rave] That moment when pants that couldnt fit 2 months ago can slid off without unbuttoning.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:13:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syslp/that_moment_when_pants_that_couldnt_fit_2_months/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Im so close to loosing 100lbs.
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syr6o/im_so_close_to_loosing_100lbs/
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Technically I haven't lost 100lbs, I've lost 99lbs and im sooo close. I've been waiting for this day for nearly 5 years, the first 3 years I lost 70lbs, but then I gained it alllll back.
After I lose this last pound Ill finally be able to share my weight on here. I know you guys would *never* judge me but I was so heavy that I just felt too embarrassed to share. I was certainly sure I was the heaviest person on this sub at one point.
I haven't weighed since Monday and I've been restricting hard core all week. I used to weigh every day but it was too hard on me mentally so to keep some sanity in my life I only weigh on Mondays and Fridays.
So tmrw i will weigh and find out if I've lost that one pound. Please...pray for me.
[Rant/Rave] What am i DOING
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 10 22:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syqi3/what_am_i_doing/
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Seriously, what am I doing??????? Like why am I even here???? To be skinny????? Why do I even want to be skinny????? Seriously I feel like I cant enjoy anything anymore. I mean i'm 14 I should be outside and having sleepovers but I just sit inside all day and count how many calories i've eaten. I have sunk down this hole before but i've always gotten out. But this round, I just fell straight down to the bottom of the self hatred pit.
[Other] When you binge super hard but are too ashamed to log everything you ate
/u/leberef [5'10 | CW 156.8 | SW 205 | GW 120 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 10 21:26:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syk85/when_you_binge_super_hard_but_are_too_ashamed_to/
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http://i.imgur.com/yPuthf3.png
[Discussion] Plateaus
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 21:20:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syj5f/plateaus/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Welp, Thursday
/u/youthquake08
Created: Thu Aug 10 21:15:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syi9c/welp_thursday/
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Hey y'all,
Thought I was managing my shit, but apparently I spent all of last week stuck in a b/p loop since I was living alone in a hotel for work and just stole a purse full of donuts from a concert so I could cs all the way to the subway. Rats love me and apparently, I'm deep in it for the first time in a couple years. 27 is the new 17. Hope y'all are having a less weird Thursday than I am.
[Rant/Rave] Liquor doesn't cause all of my problems but it definitely accentuates the problems I have
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:53:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sye1t/liquor_doesnt_cause_all_of_my_problems_but_it/
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I haven't drank in a month. Up until tonight. Haven't smoked weed in 220 days. Up until tonight. We usually stay in. Tonight we went out.
I can stay in control in my predictable environment and routine. Whenever I go out though, I lose control. I wasn't planning on drinking at all tonight. But we went out. And it was different. So I was only going to have one drink. But then my buzz wasn't strong enough. Even though I had stayed under 200 calories all day. So I decided another one wouldn't hurt. Then we ordered food. I ordered a salad which I figured would be good. But I got it and it was 75% cheese, and, 25% croutons. Oh there was some iceberg lettuce hiding under the cheese. So I gave that to my boyfriend for leftovers. I took a piece of cheese pizza, had a 3rd drink. Still had the state of mind to track all these calories. Which I was still under!
But I went to the bathroom and purged. For the first time in over a month. I only purge when I lose control. And tonight I lost control. I feel so sober! But then I talk freely to my boyfriend and regret it soon after. He didn't need to know I purged. Especially because he shuts down and then I assume he's mad at me and going to finally dump me.
I don't feel like he should worry. But it's his right. Throwing up in a public bathroom is a little worrisome. But all I feel is drunk and oh so guilty.
At least I didn't cut.
There's always a silver lining.
[Rant/Rave] intermittent fasting?
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:48:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syd5b/intermittent_fasting/
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i just want to say i think its bullshit. i hate when people bring it up when talking about diets as if that is a healthy option.
anyways. i've inadvertently been doing it the last week. i wake up at 830-9ish and dont really eat breakfast walk dogs from 10-1130, no time for food. i work from 12-8, 30 minute break but i don't like eating in front of new people/havent been able to make myself lunches. get home around 845 (30 min drive back, 15 min walk from car bc of parking in a city), cook a quick meal (or order pizza). and recently i've just.... not been bingeing. and it feels good. the fact that it feels good scares me. i don't want to restrict anymore. in the past i went crazy and dropped 50lbs in 2 months, got down to my lowest 118 which now seems impossible to me. i'm 176 now on a good day and it is mostly muscle. or is that just what i tell myself???
this is such bullshit. i wish i had people i could really talk to about this but it may trigger them and/or they are tired of hearing about it. i havent been able to find a therapist in my new city yet.
i want this to be working but i also don't want it to get worse.
ugh sorry for the rant :(
[Discussion] [discussion] Anybody have any experience with the HCG diet?
/u/rizzie_ [5'2F CW:128 GW:110 ||🍑 rizzie_]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sycms/discussion_anybody_have_any_experience_with_the/
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[removed]
[Goal] I've decided to do a liquid fast starting tomorrow. We'll see how far I get.
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | 🐋 | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:36:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syazo/ive_decided_to_do_a_liquid_fast_starting_tomorrow/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else discouraged by their ugly face?
/u/thinandmints [5'4 | 113 | 19.4 | -18 | F | 🍑 same username]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:36:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syato/is_anyone_else_discouraged_by_their_ugly_face/
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Idk it feels like even if I weigh 80 pounds my face is still a 4/10 on a good day, and more often than not I just look kind of stupid. It just gets really depressing when I look at some parts of my body like yeah! maybe that will look good someday! Then i look up like psych b you still look like a frog goblin
[Goal] Goal: To get back to when I was this skinny
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6syaki/goal_to_get_back_to_when_i_was_this_skinny/
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https://i.redd.it/8sqyoj57t0fz.jpg
[Discussion] Thoughts on Kpop diets?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:23:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy89n/thoughts_on_kpop_diets/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Delusions and Knuckle Sores
/u/spaceeeeeeeeecadet [158cm | cw 52 | 21.54 | ugw 40 | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:10:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy5pl/delusions_and_knuckle_sores/
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There's a sore on my right index finger knuckle.
I didn't think much of it the next few days, just a scratch, like all the other everyday, inexplicable wear and tear.
Until I was leaning over the toilet, puffy faced, eyes gauging with saliva running down wrist to elbow, that my teeth rested in the same excruciating spot.
In my own skepticism I examined the sore closely. I could have gotten this cut from anywhere, right? It was a reddish brown scrape indented into my skin. It was deeper and wider on one side with a small notch that tapered to a point with a smaller, shallower cut next to it.
I don't even purge. At least, that's what I told myself. That's what I keep telling myself. Until my delusion caught up with me. Until I dislodged my stringy finger from my throat, scraping the throbbing sore on my knuckle, I realized that this is real. My eating disorder is real.
I put my fingers where I wiggled them at the back of my throat. It felt strange to do that for any other reason than to make myself vomit. I don't even know why I checked at all. I knew I didn't have to.
The truth is I knew all along. I could tell by the marks they were a scraping motion repeated in the same spot. My mother was a dentist after all. It was a clear K9 and incisor spacing with wound marks that fit the bill. But somehow I felt compelled to prove that I did this. It was me standing trial against my own ED delusion.
In a fucked up way, my ED brain needed to be demonstrated the evidence. I needed to go through all the motions, logical step by logical step. Russel's sign is something I had only ever read about. And in a fucked up way, intoxicated and reeling in my self-destruction, I felt quietly accomplished.
[Help] How quickly can you can weight?
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5'3" | CW: 89 | GW: 87 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 10 20:08:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy5fa/how_quickly_can_you_can_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Had a really bad binge day and I hate myself
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:45:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sy0xp/had_a_really_bad_binge_day_and_i_hate_myself/
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I've eaten/drank so many calories today and I'm scared i've undone my hard work from the last couple of weeks. I had a milkshake earlier and a small cake bar and then someone at work brought in muffins and I had one of those and also I drank regular coke not diet today and I feel like a whale :(
[Goal] I worked out on the elliptical for the first time tonight!
/u/082616
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:37:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxzct/i_worked_out_on_the_elliptical_for_the_first_time/
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I bought the elliptical last Saturday at a yard sale for get this..... $40!!!! Yeah, you read that right. It's not broke, it does work, lol. I did approximately 13 minutes and burned 154 calories. I stopped probably every minute, sometimes two or three times, but I got through it! What exercises should I do for my thighs beforehand so they don't bother me as much when exercising? I am so proud of myself. And it's in the garage and not inside so that helped me sweat more! I NEED to keep this up.
[Discussion] I made myself stop b/p-ing and having purged since August first. But I can't stop throwing up??
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:36:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxz5b/i_made_myself_stop_bping_and_having_purged_since/
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I threw up multiple times on a boat last weekend then today I threw up multiple times, but my doctor said it was from the pain meds I was pumped full of.
Is my body still being damaged from this puking? I swear I'm not making myself do it at all!! I hate the feeling of purging and I don't want to throw up :(
[Discussion] DAE really like thin hands as well as wrists?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxyod/dae_really_like_thin_hands_as_well_as_wrists/
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[deleted]
Phentermine Results?
/u/Turnmeondeadman9
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxxtm/phentermine_results/
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[removed]
[Help] Question for those of you who have addressed / are currently addressing ED stuff in therapy:
/u/flatout_ [5'4 |110 lb | 18.9 | GW 100 lb | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:26:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxx57/question_for_those_of_you_who_have_addressed_are/
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When you were seeking out a therapist (if you had to find one for yourself), did you specifically look for ones who specialize in ED?
I've been in therapy for almost a decade now, switching therapists frequently bc of how often I moved, but I haven't ever broached the topic of my ED (probably bc until recently, I was dealing w so many other extraneous bullshit crises that it was the v least of my worries). I'm now (again!!) in the position of having to find a new therapist, and I'm wondering if I should restrict my search to those who list ED among their specialties.
What are your thoughts?? Have you had positive experiences w therapists who don't specialize in ED? Have you had to educate them, or are they all pretty conversant w ED issues to begin with???
[Thinspo] 5 down from last post 😍
/u/That_O_N_E_Guy
Created: Thu Aug 10 19:15:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxus9/5_down_from_last_post/
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http://i.imgur.com/PrIrCq3.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Company training day, "mandatory" lunch at Blaze Pizza?
/u/ayvyns [5'7“ | 130 | 20.4 | -7 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:46:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxp1a/company_training_day_mandatory_lunch_at_blaze/
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The email also said not to clock out, that HR would clock out "for us". Lol wat? I freaking hate how vague my company is. Like bitch am I paid for this time that you are compelling me to spend at Blaze pizza with coworkers or not? Even if you are paying me, am I actually obligated to waive this meal break? If you are not paying me, then I'm not compelled to do anything.
Either way I'm not eating anything at Blaze.
[Rant/Rave] Binged for three days,
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:33:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxmma/binged_for_three_days/
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So Tuesday was my fiancee birthday, we went to my parents house and got Chinese. I ate some at my moms house but the rest at home. Usually is only eat three bites. I also had a ton of chips(American) and three cups of juice with who knows how many calories Binge day one.
Binge day two: out to dinner with his family, went to a roadhouse, my meal was 1325 calories -.- that was just the entree, not including the fried pickles (my weakness) and potato wedges, and regular soda.
Binge day three: out to dinner with his grandparents. Went to a very expensive restaurant with seafood and steak house. Not a fan of steak, can't eat fish and allergic to soft shelled crabs. Had to get something salad bar was free, legit could only get shrimp scampi and it wasn't a tiny serving by any means.
I feel so fat I've gained 3 pounds. I hate myself, hopefully restricting the next month will help. Probs not cause I'm a failure.
But hry, i fit into my jeans from high school again. So there's that
[Intro] Really having a hard time
/u/theclumsykittty [5'3| CW: 108| GW: 95 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:31:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxm58/really_having_a_hard_time/
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Hey guys! I'm pretty new to reddit but I've been lurking for the past few days and thought I would say hello!
I've been in recovery for the past 5 years with only one relapse and a few tiny slip ups here and there. In the past 48 hours I have been insanely triggered and its really pushing me towards relapse. It's been so long but the thought of beginning to restrict again makes me excited. I want to be satisfied with myself again. I don't really know what to do but any support would be wonderful!
[Other] My mom went to the store alone and now SHE'S BRINGING BACK 7 PINTS OF HALO TOP
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:22:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxkba/my_mom_went_to_the_store_alone_and_now_shes/
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I was planning on fasting tomorrow too..but i'll do that on Saturday or Sunday I guess c:
[Other] Ask and ye shall receive: couldn't convince parents, but got this right after checking out
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:22:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxk63/ask_and_ye_shall_receive_couldnt_convince_parents/
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https://i.redd.it/cej2qe1j50fz.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone else here have POTS?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 119# | 20.9 BMI | -104# | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:15:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxivt/does_anyone_else_here_have_pots/
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Not the cooking utensils. The nervous system defect.
Edit: Apparently my flair is outdated. 125 at the moment. Pathetic.
[Help] i'm simultaneously freaking out while also happy.
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 18:14:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxinr/im_simultaneously_freaking_out_while_also_happy/
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so, i have always had very irregular periods. i didn't even start my period until my senior year of high school. i rarely have them so i started taking medication and birth control to help regulate them and they have been regular for about five months. but i am currently 6 days late and dating someone and remembering that i may have fucked up my BC. its also very plausible that i could just be not having it. i am so stressed and i hate this. any advice besides a test? or similar situations?
[Discussion] Restricting/overexercising at different ages
/u/selkieb [5'3 | 112 | 21 BMI | LW 80 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:43:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sxcdy/restrictingoverexercising_at_different_ages/
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The last time I did this was in my late teens/early twenties. I seem to have a lot less energy now and more aches and pains--swollen, throbbing lower legs, panic attacks, dizzy spells. Does the body become more sensitive overtime? The idea that I could subsist on the amount of food I did when I was 14 or even 19 and still lead an active life and show up to school/classes is beyond me now. I struggle to hold two thoughts in my mind, whereas the first few days I was so clearheaded and high. Now I feel like I'm not eating a lot because preparing a salad feels like too much energy. 😞 in the epitome of sloth right now.
[Rant/Rave] My bf ordered pizza, and I'm only going to eat one peice.
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 151 | 28.22 | 18 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:30:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx9pc/my_bf_ordered_pizza_and_im_only_going_to_eat_one/
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This is mostly an accountability post, but... I was prescribed seroquil, which has a side effect of "weight gain" (READ: no self control).
But I'm not going to let that be me. I'm going to exercise my self control, some self love, and not make myself regret this. No binge, I will continue losing, and I will be proud of it. In two weeks, when my doctor wants to switch me to something else, I'll be able to proudly tell her that weight gain was *not* one of my side effects. And by that time, I estimate I will be in the 140s. :)
Sure, it'll be a high 140, but shit, it'll still kbe 30 pounds less than what I was earlier this year. I want it. I need it. I deserve it. But holy hell, I want all of the pizza. Lol. Its 280cals per *slice*.
No flare, so rant/rave? Maybe.
Edit: it's here and omg it's *so* small for a slice. Its like a 3inch triangle.😂
[Discussion] Does anybody else weigh themselves with heavy clothes?
/u/jigglemonster
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:27:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx92c/does_anybody_else_weigh_themselves_with_heavy/
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I don't know if this is common because I know most of us want the most accurate number as possible, but I guess I like to torture myself. I like weighing myself with heavy clothes and sometimes with objects in my hand so i will weigh more. It's almost like self-torture in a way because I feel disgusting even though logically I know I'm a couple pounds lighter.
[Discussion] How to improve the appearance of mottled skin on legs?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx7vf/how_to_improve_the_appearance_of_mottled_skin_on/
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My legs look purplish and splotchy sometimes. I know it's caused by poor circulation, and I also feel like it might have something to do with fluid retention just because of how my legs seem to feel when I notice it happening. Either way, I'm not going to address what's causing it because I know it's my eating patterns, but does anyone have any tips to try to make it at least a little better?
[Rant/Rave] PB binge not so bad i think
/u/blahgah1337
Created: Thu Aug 10 17:04:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx48p/pb_binge_not_so_bad_i_think/
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I was so devastated yesterday. I was stressed all day and came home wanting to eat hoping it would comfort me and make me feel right. I wasn't hungry and eating never gives me comfort... but i reached for the peanut butter.
Started off ok eating it with berries. Half way through some awareness brushed over me and I realized i didnt even like the berries. They werent sweet and the mixture was nothing like a pbj as I had imagined. I was disappointed in the mix but instead of tossing it as Ive been doing with foods that arent great (yay progress) I couldnt stop with this. I finish what i started of the berries. Then i went for the jar and a spoon.
Lord have mercy I went until i felt that "done" feeling you finally achieve when youve gone too far.
I was devastated. A third of the jar i think. I was scared to try to figure it out.
Well i didnt learn my lesson and had another wonderful spoon assisted pb jar breakfast. Leading to a stomach ache all day. Total of half a costco jar maybe?
Finally right now I decided to figure out the damage. A jar is total 25 servings, 200cal per. Thats 5,000 total calories or 1.43lbs if a lb is 3,500cal.
I'm actually happy and cant share this feeling with anyone of course. I thought the damage was WAY more than that. Granted I had a normal diet around it and didnt finish the jar.
But holy cow a costco jar is 5,000! Whats 1.43lbs in the long run when you're trying to lose 20! 😂🤦♀️ thats just a few restricts or fastings.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] c/s for the first time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:55:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx28d/rant_cs_for_the_first_time/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] does anyone else occasionally get really hungry despite having just eaten (after heavy restriction)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:46:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sx0eg/does_anyone_else_occasionally_get_really_hungry/
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[deleted]
[Help] Where do you shop for clothes (most specifically, dresses for special occasions)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:27:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swwi7/where_do_you_shop_for_clothes_most_specifically/
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[deleted]
[Other] An apology for the boyfriend post.
/u/bunnythehippie
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swth0/an_apology_for_the_boyfriend_post/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] accountability (just a personal post lolllll)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swstw/accountability_just_a_personal_post_lolllll/
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[removed]
[Goal] I did it!
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 16:06:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swrgg/i_did_it/
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We've all heard about the story of the girl who just forgets to eat (honestly, not just lying about it) and today that was me! I ate at my TDEE yesterday to help break a plateau and it was enough that I guess I didn't even get hungry today. I felt my tummy rumble in class before lunch and I was going to eat but then I just wanted to finish the notes I was making and after a few more classes, all the sudden I'm back in my house and I'm realizing dinner is my first thing to eat today other than a piece of gum. Maybe this'll help me hit 160 sooner rather than later, I've been dying to get back!
This is just a weird goal I've had for a while and to finally get there is amazing!
[Intro] Just wanted to introduce myself
/u/throwaway66667843 [5'2 | 100lbs ]
Created: Thu Aug 10 15:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swodb/just_wanted_to_introduce_myself/
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Hey guys, I'm pretty new here, so I thought I'd introduce myself.
I've struggled with disordered eating since I was about 12. When I was in 6th grade, my friend and I competed to see who could lose the most weight. I dropped 20lbs in about 2 months, and after that I've never had a great relationship with food. My main problem has always been restricting, but I started purging in my junior year of high school, and in my senior year I was purging daily. I stopped doing that consistently because I threw up blood a few times. During high school, I was taking ADHD medication that friends had in order to lose more weight and decrease my appetite.
I hit my HW in November during a period of longterm recovery. In about May I started to eat less and less because of stress, and I'm in the middle of a full blown relapse currently. Right now, I eat about 200 cals during the day, and I eat whatever is served for dinner in order to hide my relapse from my mom and boyfriend.
I'm going into my junior year of college, and I'm just hoping that no one bothers me about the weight I've dropped over the summer. Thankfully, no one will know my eating habits so I can restrict as I feel necessary. I feel guilty for giving back into my disorder, but at the same time it just feels so good to be dropping weight again.
Just wanted to share a little background about myself. I hope you all are doing well <3 Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
Left arm/hand tingly while purging
/u/Turnmeondeadman9
Created: Thu Aug 10 15:50:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6swnom/left_armhand_tingly_while_purging/
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So I drink a lot of caffeine and I've smoked for ten years. My heart feels like it's constantly beating so hard and sometimes I can literally see my shirt move from my heartbeat. Last night I ate 800 calories in one sitting (only ate 1200 calories total that day tho so no way I would have gained) and I threw it up about 10 minutes later. As i was purging my left hand and arm became tingly and then went a little numb and there were streaks of blood in my vomit. Can purging make your arm tingly?
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 14:51:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sw9ns/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/4u94u70x3zez.jpg
[Thinspo] "The New Girl at Work" Thinspo
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 14:01:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svx8u/the_new_girl_at_work_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/PxePE
[Discussion] Have you heard the good word of Quest Bars?
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Thu Aug 10 14:00:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svx41/have_you_heard_the_good_word_of_quest_bars/
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Alright, I know I'm late the effing party I just got into quest bars and now have become a fantastic dessert SO what flavors are great? I love the White Chocolate Raspberry but feel meh about the cookies and cream. What other flavors should I check out?
[Discussion] What weight-related things are you most paranoid about?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:47:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svtw8/what_weightrelated_things_are_you_most_paranoid/
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I realized the other day just how many things I avoid doing so that other people don't see me as "fat."
I purposely eat more slowly and take more breaks while I'm eating than a normal person. I will never, ever admit to feeling hungry. I constantly walk on the balls of my feet so my footsteps sound less heavy. I push my tongue up against the roof of my mouth so that the fat under my chin goes away. I sit on the very edge of chairs so that they don't creak or bend under my weight. I sit with my legs tucked underneath me to take up less space. I'm paranoid about breathing too loudly, looking sweaty or messy, or smelling bad, because some subconscious part of me sees those as fat-people-things.
I'm curious if other people do some of these same things.
[Help] F*ck you, Caramel m&m's!
/u/sourgummycandy
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svtke/fck_you_caramel_mms/
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Somebody please be my voice of reason. I have been living off these things for at least a month, having them for every meal and then fasting to feel better about myself. I'm going insane. And I know if I go to the store I will buy a couple of the big bags of them. Somebody please convince me to never buy them again...ugh I know it's ridiculous but I really need this right now. Sorry
[Help] Yes period, welcome back, it's lovely to see you again after TWO WEEKS....
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 118 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:24:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svo9r/yes_period_welcome_back_its_lovely_to_see_you/
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*On a side note, I still haven't dared to weigh myself , it's been 40+ days since my last weigh in of moderate restriction (averaging 750 calories a day). I still can't bare to see the number and risk the chance of seeing I have stalled/gained or that worse, I'll become obsessed with the number again.* Im petrified of stepping on the scale.
So, I have no idea whether I have lost weight or not... Therefore I have no idea if my 2 week early period arrival (definitely not pregnant or on the pill) is to do with my weight loss or hormones to do with my weight loss.
Have any of you guys dealt with this or something similar?
I know loss of period happens at lower BMI's or if you're severely restricting but I've never heard of periods in-between periods (this has been going on the last 2 days and is more than spotting) and have personally never dealt with it before. I know it's most likely hormonal but is this down to weight changes or is it normal?
Thanks guys and I hope you're all having good days <3
Fuck you, caramel m&@@
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:16:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svmag/fuck_you_caramel_m/
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[deleted]
[Help] fuck it. give me serious restriction tips, don't hold back.
/u/get-it_together [5'3" | hahaha kill me | UGW 130 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 13:05:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6svjdx/fuck_it_give_me_serious_restriction_tips_dont/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] so I've started purging
/u/olivegreenblack [165 | CW 64 | HW 70 | LW 50.8 | GW 50 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 12:27:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sva2w/so_ive_started_purging/
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I always thought I was one of those people who physically could *not* purge. I hadn't even thrown up once naturally since I was a toddler, and every time I tried to make myself throw up it could not work. Then about two weeks ago, I desperately put my hand down my throat after a binge. And guys, *stuff came up*. I was stoked! (how messed up is that?)
Since then I've been purging multiple times a day. It's gross and I'm constantly worried I'll get caught or block the toilet. I keep telling myself its just temporary and I'll stop and go back to heavy restriction but it's almost become compulsive, I keep compulsively overeating with the intent to throw it up. Yeah I know this is something people who purge keep warning us about and now I kind of regret starting. I wish I still thought I couldn't throw up, because now that I know I can, I'm more likely to binge.
I've "improved" (what a fucking word) my purging since the first time, now I have bette aim and make less sound hah. But I'm worried about my teeth and also because I currently have braces idk what to do. And my knuckle is really sore and red all the time and theres this tiny gash that my teeth bite into every time that has gone pink/white and idk if I should put antibacterial cream on that?
Right now its 3 am. I just woke up after falling asleep while I was waiting for everyone to go to bed so I could purge. I fucking fell asleep and now its too late, I tried purging but nothing came up. I had been binging massively with the plan to throw it all up, now I fucking can't and idk what to do. I'm kind of shaking, my throat really hurts and I feel so anxious.
I should stop rambling now. Otherwise I'd go on forever.
[Rant/Rave] 14 pints of Halo Top for $15 - Life can be kind sometimes.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:44:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suz4h/14_pints_of_halo_top_for_15_life_can_be_kind/
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Local grocery store recently added Insta-Cart which is an online shopping and delivery for groceries. They gave me a $20 off $35 plus free shipping coupon in store yesterday. Also noticed they had a fresh shipment of Halo Top which was on sale 2 for $5.
14 pints of Birthday Cake Halo Top are now sitting in my freezer. It'll take me over a month to get through them of course, but it's reassuring having them. Whenver I get a craving, I can also remember I have Halo Top even if I don't want it right then.
The lady delivering them looked at me like I was crazy. And I am.
[Discussion] Any other weight lifters?
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:35:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sux1g/any_other_weight_lifters/
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So I've been lifting since I was 16 (5 years) and it's one of my favorite things. But... now I want to be tiny. Being toned would be nice, but being small is so much more important to me. I've been eating about 500-800 cals a day and still doing my normal cardio and lifting routine (about 45 min of each a day). But now I'm starting to get really paranoid that I'm growing my muscles and making myself look thick... my body building friends swear I'm not eating enough for that, but I find it really hard to believe them. Does anyone have experience or advice on this?
[Discussion] Is anyone else here vegan?
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suuu4/is_anyone_else_here_vegan/
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Vegan, or plant based, or something along those lines!
Would you mind sharing with me what you usually eat in a day/your favourite meal ideas?
I've looked at /r/vegan1200isplenty but a lot of then seem really high carb (with rice, potatoes etc) and it scares me to be honest.
Thanks so much!
[Rant/Rave] I'm so tired of hating myself.
/u/Blehergered [5'2 | 139.8 | Overweight | -42 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sut7x/im_so_tired_of_hating_myself/
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Everyday for the past 12 years I have hated every single part of me. I have never fit in anywhere. I fuck up most of my social interactions and generally just an awkward piece of shit. The only thing I really have going for me right now is my wonderful boyfriend.
I feel like such a fucking loser for having no friends. Literally no one. The only friends I have had in my life are narcissistic, sadistic women who only keep me around only when I benefit them.
I look at myself in the mirror and I can't imagine myself anywhere. Like my face looks like something that should have never existed in the first place.
I BINGE SO HARD AND I DON'T RESTRICT HARD ENOUGH SO I WILL ALWAYS BE FAT FAT FAT.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel a weird mix of guilt and satisfaction when sharing
/u/smalldicksarein
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:19:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suszx/dae_feel_a_weird_mix_of_guilt_and_satisfaction/
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does anyone else feel guilty when sharing their food? People think you are being generous but actually you are being selfish giving them your calories....
[Discussion] [Discussion] Is anyone else as lazy as I am?
/u/theloneravioli
Created: Thu Aug 10 11:02:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suotq/discussion_is_anyone_else_as_lazy_as_i_am/
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I'm just curious if there is anyone else out there that just can't bring themselves to commit to an exercise routine? I will spend HOURS constructing charts and graphs with routines and exercises for myself. I will plan out an entire month with daily routines and how many calories I will burn, but I never go through with it.
I do hit the gym from time to time, maybe a three to four day streak of some cardio and weights, but that's about it. It's strange considering how much loathing I have for this body I've created. Why am I so averse to
Are any of you like this? Does anyone else pretty much stick to restricting food without combining exercise? Please say I'm not alone!
[Rant/Rave] "I like your outfit! Your giving me Mindi Khaling vibes today"
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:57:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sunj1/i_like_your_outfit_your_giving_me_mindi_khaling/
---
I know it was meant as a compliment but damn, thanks for reminding me that I'm short and chubby :( Nothing like being compared to a celebrity who they call 'brave' just for existing in Hollywood. (On mobile, rant)
[Other] Another lovely thought from r/wholesomememes. Have a wonderful day, you're worth it ❤️
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:49:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suld0/another_lovely_thought_from_rwholesomememes_have/
---
https://i.redd.it/m5p4vn8rwxez.jpg
[Help] I need your help guys
/u/Skinnybabyshh [5'7 | 110 | -60 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:37:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suig0/i_need_your_help_guys/
---
[removed]
[Help] Week-Long Trip to the Land of Good Food and Ashton Kutcher
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6suhj5/weeklong_trip_to_the_land_of_good_food_and_ashton/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE feel like they are faking their ED?
/u/sassygillie
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:24:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sufi0/dae_feel_like_they_are_faking_their_ed/
---
I've been diagnosed with non-purging bulimia (kind of EDNOS- I binge for a week or so and then hard-core restrict to make up for it) since I was 13 and I sometimes feel like I'm faking it or something. I'm slightly overweight right now and in my restricting phase and I can't help but think if I *really* had an eating disorder I wouldn't have to try so hard to not eat. If I was *really* mentally ill, I wouldn't plan my fasts because I wouldn't want to eat anyway.
At the same time, if I was really faking it, I would be able to stop, right? I know all the healthy ways to lose weight so why am I still doing this stupid yoyo stuff?
[Discussion] Loss of hunger?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:24:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sufe6/loss_of_hunger/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] DEA have an irrational fear of rice?
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:08:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6subh6/dea_have_an_irrational_fear_of_rice/
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Because I do... I don't know why, but even one tiny grains of rice translates to DEADLY CARBS in my brain. I probably haven't eaten rice in six months😂 and sushi used to be my favorite food :/
edit: oops @ the title
Can we all share our workout routines?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:01:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su9m0/can_we_all_share_our_workout_routines/
---
[removed]
[Help] What causes weight gain with no intake?
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 116 | 19.3 | UGW 100 | 20F | 🍑: moodles]
Created: Thu Aug 10 10:01:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su9jd/what_causes_weight_gain_with_no_intake/
---
I was wondering if anyone knows why weight would fluctuate with absolutely no intake, not even liquid. On a typical restriction day I'll be 2-4lbs heavier than my morning weigh-in, which I attribute to food and water weight. However, I've had days where I was specifically testing this out so I weigh in around 8am and then go the whole day without consuming anything, food or water. I'll weigh again at 7 or 8pm that day again and somehow, without fail, be 1-2 lbs heavier. Why does this happen? It drives me nuts sometimes :(
Also unrelated but does anyone else experience a food baby with minimal amounts of food/water? I can eat like a cracker and drink a glass of water and my stomach will go from flat to the same food baby I get from a regular meal?? why though
[Discussion] Does anyone else get headaches all the time?
/u/Xoena [5'4 | CW 131lbs | 22.49 | GW 120lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su8q1/does_anyone_else_get_headaches_all_the_time/
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I have recently been restricting more than I have before and man the headaches I have been getting are intense. I have had one maybe twice a day this whole week. It feels like a pressure in my forehead. Does anyone else experience this when restricting? I drink plenty of water so I don't think I am dehydrated. I probably ate at most 750 cals this week which isn't horrible but it is lower than usual for me since I exercise a lot.
[Other] Swimming Club Week 2! 💞
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:53:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su7lz/swimming_club_week_2/
---
Ok. So last week was a little rocky for me as I got really sick the last few days. Like, really sick. But I'm better now and ready to kick off this second week!
The members of the Swimming Club are (by username) :
✨ bigfaninasmallworld
✨ SM_girl
✨ strangerousdangers
✨ A_No_Life_Person
✨ Kaylasteil
~Joining is now closed ~
WEEK TWO CHALLENGE:
💞 Swim 1/2 a mile EVERYDAY (No time limit, take your time and focus on breathe control and burning those calories)
💞 20 high knees (each leg) Grab a pool noodle and put your feet to the bottom of the pool, keeping your upper abdomen out of the water. Remain a straight posture and bring your knees to the pool noodle held on top of the water.
💞 20 ab crunches x2 reps. Put your legs over the border of the pool while keeping your back on top of the water. Put one arm across your chest and one holding your nose closed (to prevent water going into your nose). Next, bring your body up to the border (like sit-ups) and back into the water. Repeat
💞 10 Step ups x2 reps
💞
👏CHALLENGE RULES👏
This challenge calls for points. For every day you complete the challenge, you will be rewarded 2 points! For every day you don't, You will be subtracted two points. For any step of the workout not done/ completed, 1 point will be subtracted. If your half mile time is under 20 Minutes, you will be rewarded a BONUS 1 point! Good luck, and no excuses!
Every week we will have a "Swimmer Winner" basically the person who did the best on the challenge. This week, whoever gets the fastest time (ALL SESSIONS COMBINED) will earn the title! Your reward is : FEELING FREAKING ACCOMPLISHED AND MOTIVATED!
Week ones SWIMMER WINNER is: (yet to be announced)
--------------
POST:
Week One:
Please post here in the format below:
Day ___ Week One
Goal time:
Actual time:
Goal for next time:
Calories Burned: (if applicable)
----------------------------
As the days add up, PLEASE DO NOT add a new comment for each day! Just edit your comment from the following day and add duplicate the format with the new info!
Thank you to all who joined! And please let me know if there is a problem! 💓💓💓
If you would like to add/ share twitter/ Instagram handles feel free! Make a "buddy" with someone in the club and motivate eachother!
[Discussion] New relationship... How do they affect your ed
/u/noname372017
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su5ol/new_relationship_how_do_they_affect_your_ed/
---
I'm wondering, positive or negative, what being in a new relationship does for your ED? Oh, also, old member... New name 😊
I'm in a new one myself, with a great guy who I really like but unfortunately I've really been lax on myself and gained about 10 pounds.😑 wouldn't be so bad except he has a family member with BED, and I can tell he doesn't understand EDs at all... To top it off I was reading a random article about new relationships and it mentioned that men what's notice how much their woman eats!! So now I'm paranoid on many levels and keep dissecting ant comments he makes about weight/food/eating /mybody/other people's bodies.. And I still can't stop binging 😖 I want to so badly, I literally was doing great with restricting until the DAY I met this guy ∧ since then I haven't done anything but eat.
He is always complimenting me and I'm trying really hard to be ok with the gain, but in a recent romp I got super self conscious and stopped in the middle and wasn't able to recover my confidence the rest of the night😑
Just wanting to hear some other stories about new relationships and how they affect you.
[Humor] Snack induced road rage
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:42:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6su50i/snack_induced_road_rage/
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https://i.redd.it/dlnrxr5wkxez.jpg
[Discussion] do you worry that diet cola cause weight gain?
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Thu Aug 10 09:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stx6v/do_you_worry_that_diet_cola_cause_weight_gain/
---
something to do with the sweeteners.
this goes for all the conventional 'safe' 0 kcal things we may all trust in. black coffee and green tea with kcals. i can't decide how to fast with all this conflicting info.
[Rant/Rave] Really scared about my doctors appointment
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Thu Aug 10 08:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stnlu/really_scared_about_my_doctors_appointment/
---
I want yo cancel do bad. But my primary care doctor has called to make sure I go. Its a psychiatrist i have never seen before. I'm not sure I want to be on medication because I'm scared if weight gain. Anyone know a good anxiety medication without weight gain?
[Discussion] What's one thing you hate and love about yourself?
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 08:09:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stje6/whats_one_thing_you_hate_and_love_about_yourself/
---
I hate how broad my shoulders are. They are the opposite of feminine and it really sucks when guys clothing fits 😂😂 definitely doesn't help me feel small and tiny and delicate, to say the least.
I like my eyes though. I have big dark green/hazel-ish eyes and long eyelashes. Those are pretty cool. Thanks Mom, for the genetics!
(Mods feel free to take this down if it's not allowed)
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend supports me restricting and fasting and wanting to be 90 lbs at 5'5 and I love it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6steob/my_boyfriend_supports_me_restricting_and_fasting/
---
https://i.redd.it/n2vnonx70xez.jpg
[Thinspo] Found this goddess on IG 😍 I want to look like her so bad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:30:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stb8y/found_this_goddess_on_ig_i_want_to_look_like_her/
---
https://i.redd.it/of3ma4s9xwez.jpg
[Rant/Rave] If I'm gonna be a depressed piece of shit anyways, might as well be a thin depressed piece of shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:26:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6stagc/if_im_gonna_be_a_depressed_piece_of_shit_anyways/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] ED documentaries/reality
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Thu Aug 10 07:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6st79p/ed_documentariesreality/
---
So I'm starting off today rough. I got about an hour of sleep. Lack of sleep makes my eyes burn and makes me want to binge. So I'm hoping for some documentary recommendations! Bonus points if they're streaming somewhere :D Really weird food stuff or extremes like 600 lb life are also welcome
I'll start off with some of my own recommendations that I've already seen
Thin (amazon prime) about a women's treatment facility
Femme/fille (prime) about the "no anorexia campaign" woman
Emma wants to live (prime) I just watched this yesterday and it was really good but extremely sad and triggering. About a severely anorexic dutch girl
There are a few really good episodes of intervention about ppl with eating disorders but they'e hard to find (maybe youtube?)
Facing the fat (prime) not directly ED related but an obese dude doesn't eat for 55 days and I found it super interesting
[Discussion] Do cigarettes make you poop more often?
/u/iwannaeatatrout [6'4" | M | CW:FAT | GW: 150]
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:39:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6st0u1/do_cigarettes_make_you_poop_more_often/
---
Or is that just me?
[Discussion] August 10th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:23:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssy2t/august_10th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What are you running from at this moment?
Edit: my mom had a whole box of vegan baked goods delivered to my work for my birthday, so sweet of her but fuckkkkk, and my coworkers are buying me lunch and I have family dinner tonight. 🐳
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssvsf/weekly_emotional_support_august_10_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 10 06:10:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssvl4/daily_food_diary_august_10_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 10, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] getting stood up for the second time in two weeks...
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 133| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 05:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssmh4/getting_stood_up_for_the_second_time_in_two_weeks/
---
My brain has like 2 reactions to this happening. One is "well at least I'll save on those restaurant food calories" (even though I was planning on just getting the mixed greens salad and hadn't eaten pretty much all day to save up for it)...and the other is "well fuck him if he's gonna stand me up I'm gonna get extra skinny and hot and delicate and feminine and he'll REALLY regret it" (even though it was a first date and I'll never see him again)
All that being said I don't think I have the self-esteem for dating, I've been stood up for more first dates than I've been on!
[Discussion] I don't feel sick but I probably AM sick - does anyone else feel the same?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 04:27:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssfkd/i_dont_feel_sick_but_i_probably_am_sick_does/
---
And yet I fit the criteria for EDNOS/Anorexia Nervosa.
My mum watches me whenever I'm back home, and I have to eat A LOT in front of her. Can't purge, but I do go on long walks so I can offset some of the calories (my dog loves me for this). I have to eat a lot just to say "ah I'm just poor mum, you know how it is, working in a bar."
How can I feel so healthy and like I don't want help? When I had depression, deep down I actually wanted to sort it out, and knew at the back of my mind that I couldn't go on like this.
But I like feeling like this (well, I like the fact I get smaller, I don't like the fear of certain foods or anything) and I think there are people who need help because they are way more deserving of it than me and I'll just be wasting the GP's time. I like having control and I like the way fasting and restricting makes me feel.
I dunno what the point of this message is, just wondering if anyone feels the same?
[Discussion] Experiences with clozapine?
/u/lightfeathers [5'4" | CW 112 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 04:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssewy/experiences_with_clozapine/
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[removed]
Did any of you gain weight while on clozapine?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 04:22:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sses6/did_any_of_you_gain_weight_while_on_clozapine/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] Tried to tell DH I'm restricting calories
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 03:58:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssba7/tried_to_tell_dh_im_restricting_calories/
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His response: like you're on a diet?
I mean, a perfect day would be 700 calories. Or if I had 1200 and went to the gym and worked off half of what I ate.
My response: yes babe. Like a diet.
[Rant/Rave] F*cking Crossaints
/u/Zaomi [172 cm |CW: 58.8 kg| BMI: 19.70 | GW: 55kg | HW: 67 kg | 21F |]
Created: Thu Aug 10 03:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ssb7x/fcking_crossaints/
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What the fuck is wrong with croissants ? Why do they have so many calories ? I ate 1 because well they weight almost nothing so i thought they would make a good Lunch. Well accoring to the Internet they have like 300-400 kcal. Whhhy ?? They are not even remotely filling. I wanted to eat vegetable wraps for Dinner. Looks like this isn't going to happen.
Anyone else here who starts rants of hate over specific kind of food ?
[Rant/Rave] Ex sends an upsetting message? Let's just C/S an entire can of spaghetti and meatballs while sitting in our car at 5am.
/u/jessiemariexx
Created: Thu Aug 10 03:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ss5r2/ex_sends_an_upsetting_message_lets_just_cs_an/
---
I am gross. This is no way to go about reaching goal weight.
It's been a fucking difficult and low energy week. Emotionally and physically exhausted. Just wanna eat like a normal person.
Ex sends an upsetting message? Let's just c/a an entire can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs while sitting in your car at 4:30am.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 10 02:49:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ss24x/ex_sends_an_upsetting_message_lets_just_ca_an/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] All aboard the binge train (Choo choo)
/u/QuornLasagne [🌸 All aboard the binge train | choo choo 🌸]
Created: Thu Aug 10 01:20:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srqcf/all_aboard_the_binge_train_choo_choo/
---
In the past 2 weeks I managed to binge my way from severely underweight to a "healthy" weight. I went from 40kg to 48kg and I feel so gross. The worst part is I can actually see the changes in my body now. I have no flat tummy because I'm bloated all the time, my collar bones are less prominent and the bones that usually show through my chest are practically non existent now, and my thighs have started to touch again.
I dont know what to do anymore. I feel so out of control and I can't stop, I'm so scared of becoming overweight because I can't keep my binging in check. Has anyone else experienced this and managed to gain control again?
[Tip] Visualisation is everything
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 01:13:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srpf1/visualisation_is_everything/
---
I recently did some training for work and my trainer said if you can see your goal everyday your conscious influences your subconscious and you'll make it happen.
Long story short - I now have my weight loss goals taped inside my glasses case and each time I see it I remind myself that people have eyes and they have to be subjected to my fat.
[Other] I had a weird bathroom encounter
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Thu Aug 10 00:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srn58/i_had_a_weird_bathroom_encounter/
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So, yesterday after work I exited the bathroom (after having just C&S a cupcake guiltily), I washed my hands. This stunning, tall African woman next to me remarks -out of the blue- 'I want to be skinny, like you! I used to be like you, but now my thighs are too big. If I went to the gym, I would become obsessed. But I just want to get smaller and smaller...'
Those are the things that stuck out to me. In between this I tried to meekly say, 'No, you have a beautiful body, I dont even go to the gym.'
I feel like this woman just inadvertently admitted to having at least some body issues. It also made me realize...thats what I sound like, those are my thought patterns. I didn't even feel good that she wanted my body, to look like me. That I was told I'm skinny, because its not good enough. I want to, and need to be smaller. The whole day I was comparing my body to these two pencil thin guys who work on the same floor as me. Its made me feel so hollow.
[Discussion] Sooooo...masochism?
/u/selkieb [5'3 | 112 | 21 BMI | LW 80 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 00:37:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srk79/sooooomasochism/
---
I recently (like within the past couple days) discovered I'm into BDSM, and it's making me look at my disordered eating in a new light. I even reread my recent post on weighing habits where I refer to the masochist in me, and thought sheeeeeeit girl--what is WRONG with you?!?
Anyway, I was just curious if there's a high instance of BDSM in this community, given that there can be a lot of overlap that is still revealing itself (self-hatred, rules, pain, control and release, physical weakness, etc.)
I also wonder if my desire to be dominated contributes to my need to feel small?!?
I dunno--still actively processing this and thought it might be worth sharing for a discussion. It's a bit terrible to suggest that anyone is getting off on this, but while chatting with a dom who was teaching me a bit about myself, I kept mentioning how little I'd eaten, how I felt faint, etc. o_O
[Discussion] Please tell me I'm not getting fat
/u/Ire_of_suburbia [5'4" | 85lbs | 14,6 | -53 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 10 00:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srfh6/please_tell_me_im_not_getting_fat/
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https://i.redd.it/5ahjxbnqpuez.jpg
Oh my lord
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:40:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6srbqz/oh_my_lord/
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https://i.redd.it/a8p5brmcluez.png
[Rant/Rave] It's weird how much easier it got. just a rant
/u/lonas_ [6'00 | cw 160 | gw 130 | 20.86 | -- | M]
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:32:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sral3/its_weird_how_much_easier_it_got_just_a_rant/
---
I've definitely become more fixated on my body and how I look and much more critical of myself. Along with a couple of nasty incidents with purging, this has led me towards just not eating that often. I've fasted for 2 days this week including last sunday, and broke that fast twice, sweet carb heavy shitty foods mostly bc I was stoned. Other than that, it's been coffee, weed, and a ton of water.
And it just feels fine. The hunger mostly stopped being a big thing, now I'm just generally a little lightheaded I guess. Oddly enough, I've been in much better spirits and have experienced a mental clarity that I haven't felt in a long time. I hung out with some friends today, just watched a movie and did a photo op with their cat. It was chill but I just had an amazing time. I had this renewed sense of self, and it showed in how I communicated and kept conversation, but idk really what I can attribute it to.
Idk. I think about the future a lot. I think about how one day America will be gone from the world, like every effectual nation that came before us. Not on the horizon I don't think. But eventually.
[Discussion] How long...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:32:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sral1/how_long/
---
[removed]
How long...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 23:22:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sr8zq/how_long/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Stomach cramps?
/u/littlexbones
Created: Wed Aug 9 22:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sr46r/stomach_cramps/
---
So, im almost 36 hours into my water fast and im having horrific stomach cramps. I've been chewing on ice but it doesnt help, does anyone esle know any tips to help stop cramps like this? Im currently on lunch break at work so im hoping it will be gone by the end of my shift.
[Rant/Rave] I can't waaaait for school to start
/u/norg3girl [5'5.5 | 114.2 | 18.7 | GW: 98 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 22:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqxcf/i_cant_waaaait_for_school_to_start/
---
I'm starting high school and I'm really excited for that in general, but ED wise...
It makes it so easy to not eat. I skip breakfast, have a granola bar for lunch, and then I'm at work from 5-8 anyway so I miss dinner and I don't even have to eat anything. Now I'm just at home all day stuffing my face and then feeling like shit because of it.
I want to be 100 lbs by the homecoming dance, wish me luck guys <3.
[Rant/Rave] After a week of promising myself no sugar or dairy, Halo Top decides to drop 7 new flavors
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 22:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6squz3/after_a_week_of_promising_myself_no_sugar_or/
---
https://i.redd.it/0d1z9zii3uez.jpg
[Other] i basically have my whole ass out lately as an attempt to stop hating my legs
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6squl8/i_basically_have_my_whole_ass_out_lately_as_an/
---
https://i.redd.it/cgbjbw833uez.jpg
[Help] Is there a way to induce non-vomiting nausea?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:53:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqtus/is_there_a_way_to_induce_nonvomiting_nausea/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Nervous and stuff
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'3"|110| 25F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqqkx/nervous_and_stuff/
---
I want to get better but at the same time I'm scared to
I want other people to get better. You can see the strength in their arms and legs, the shimmer in their hair and the spark in their eyes. Seeing recovery in action must be a marvelous thing
I can't do it for me though I feel so lacking.
I'm scared that people will find out too. A nurse who has an ED taking care of people. I genuinely care for people, but I guess I suck at taking care of myself. I'm not wholesome.
I strive to be more than this but I feel so small and so fractured.
[Rant/Rave] I'm mostly excited about college because of the free gym access
/u/Keiwii [5'2 | HW:190 | GW:128 | UGW:100 | -32lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 9 21:27:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqpaf/im_mostly_excited_about_college_because_of_the/
---
Not only that , but I'll be walking around campus a lot going to class which means burning calories 🙃The neighborhood I live in isn't that great , so I've been pretty sedentary lately . I'm an incoming freshman and I'm terrified of gaining the "freshman 15". I've basically planned out my schedule for when I'm there and I look at campus maps seeing how far I'd be walking . I've been consistently restricting being stuck at home and bored (yet ignoring urges) and it just makes me excited that I'll be much more busier so it'll be easier to skip meals +not having my mom bugging me all the time
By the way , hi guys , I've been a lurking a while on my main account 👋🏾
[Rant/Rave] My husband won't stop eating my safe foods.
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:56:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqjvi/my_husband_wont_stop_eating_my_safe_foods/
---
It's driving me *crazy*. I've been just dagger eyeing him from across the room whenever he does it. I can't say "Hey, don't eat that. You can't eat that. That's mine. It's special." because that's how fucking crazy people act.
The other option is to hide it, but that's another issue in itself. Bah. I'm annoyed. Particularly because he doesn't realise they're low-calorie things, so he literally just INHALES THE WHOLE BAG/BOX/etc and is hungry for something else a few minutes later, because duh, he eats like a normal person and doesn't subsist on 500 calories a day. *Sigh*
[Rant/Rave] I had Chinese for lunch at uni and I fucking hate myself. This semester is going to fuck me until I die. 💔
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:49:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqio9/i_had_chinese_for_lunch_at_uni_and_i_fucking_hate/
---
[removed]
[Tip] if you're craving peanut butter
/u/CinderellaPantyDrop [5'2" | 123 | -18 | muscles mcgee]
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqehd/if_youre_craving_peanut_butter/
---
I take 2 tbsp of the powdered kind (the chocolate flavored PB2 is delicious) and put it in a cup with a banana, then I mash the banana up with a fork and mix it until it's almost smooth. Renders a significant amount of peanut buttery goodness for ~ 150 cal.
I'm still experimenting with uses for the powdered stuff, and I'm interested in hearing other people's solutions to peanut butter related problems.
[Intro] I'm back.
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Wed Aug 9 20:20:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sqd91/im_back/
---
I made it one week. One week before I realized how fucking worthless I really am.
I deserve to starve.
[Rant/Rave] Warped sense of recovery?
/u/2fckk
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:53:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq7sg/warped_sense_of_recovery/
---
It's like.....I'm cool with recovery. As long as I don't gain any weight. And it wouldn't be the worst thing if I lost a couple pounds.
Sooooo essentially...
.....I'm not cool with recovery.
Is this recovery? Fml :)
[Rant/Rave] CCTV's...
/u/missmarmoset
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq6is/cctvs/
---
I went through a spell of binge-eating for a month recently after having lost 40lbs -- gaining back EVERYTHING... (why do I do this?! I always do this...) I'd been kind of avoiding mirrors and trying to delude myself into thinking I still wasn't that large but then when I saw myself in the CCTV, well, I just want to fucking die. I'm so gross and so BIG and I look like a female hulk and I just want to be dainty and thin and fragile-looking and I just don't identify with my actual body right now :( I wish this wasn't me. I miss being thin. I miss so much of that.
I feel so fucking gross, almost even subhuman. No wonder my ex doesn't want me anymore when I look like THIS...
I'm going on an indefinite fast forever now, kthx.
[Discussion] DEA feel like having a BM at work is a waste?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq5ub/dea_feel_like_having_a_bm_at_work_is_a_waste/
---
[removed]
[Humor] When you and your roommate have VERY different goals...
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:25:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq2ac/when_you_and_your_roommate_have_very_different/
---
https://i.redd.it/b09wrvxsbtez.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Didn't ruin my whole day!!!
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:18:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq0zv/didnt_ruin_my_whole_day/
---
So I really thought that I fucked up my whole day today because of my dinner. My day started off good, I ate less than half of both breakfast and lunch (but logged them in as full cal) which was pasta zero and eggs for breakfast, and campbells chicken noodle soup for lunch.
For dinner my brother made chicken cordon bleu, which is so fucking good I can't even explain ugh. But I had that with an ear of corn, potatoes, and gravy with some dinner rolls. I thought this would put me over my limit but I only ate 900 cals today!!! God bless. I hope everyone has as good of an accidental day as I did❤
[Rant/Rave] I forget to log for a week
/u/welpthatreallysucks [♀ 5'4" | ⚖ 205 | -31lbs| 🇨🇦]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:14:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sq05d/i_forget_to_log_for_a_week/
---
I was happy visiting with my new boyfriend who lives 8h away for the past few weeks. So happy and so secure that I apparently forgot to log the whole time. And I ate with him! normally! (My husband and I are going through a divorce atm)
Then I got on the plane to go home and immediately look for calories on the pretzels package (50) and went to log know ticking what I've done.
I'm gunna stick to the 250cal I've had today. I wonder why joy brought me out of all my hard work?
Also ya know what doesn't help your Ed self-esteem? Your husband sleeping with an 89lb woman who is definitely not you.
[Other] can decide if today is a good day or a bad day
/u/fiascofiesta [5'7" | 123.4 | 19.26 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:10:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spza9/can_decide_if_today_is_a_good_day_or_a_bad_day/
---
good:
-got a bed frame
-made a cute banner for my living room
-hung two photos in my bedroom
-lost 0.8 pounds from first weigh in to last weigh in despite drinking lots of water
bad:
-spent $23 on food
-ate all of the food
-threw up all of the food
-socialized with a total of one person: the guy who took my food order
[Rant/Rave] mom made fun of me for binging
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 19:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spyfj/mom_made_fun_of_me_for_binging/
---
so yeah, i was restricting to 800 calories today. made it, then decided to reward myself with half an apple aaand then it went to shit from there because im a disgusting monster with no self control. i already felt like a fucking failure but of course mom had to catch me raiding the pantry for cookies (which i dont even like) and just said:
"youre hungry as fuck arent you :))) this is what you get for starving yourself to be skinny :)))" with a smug ass tone about her. i guess shes resented me ever since i managed to lose the weight healthily (most of it anyway; i developed the disorderedness around 110)
i dont know. i just, feel like crying. i shouldnt have had that apple. i felt faint so i thought i 'earnt' the energy from the apple to be able to study but of course i had to go and fuck that up. she was only confirming the fact im a fucking disgrace and deserve to feel like shit.
at least i wont go to the pantry anymore because im afraid of her seeing that ive cried :')
i dont care if i fail my exam tomorrow bc im too weak to concentrate. im hitting 100 by the end of the year even if it fucking kills me. fuck my mom. fuck binging. fuck it all. its an 800 day for me tomorrow. for real this time.
[Rant/Rave] those moments when you realize how ridiculous your relationship with food is
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 18:23:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spq2k/those_moments_when_you_realize_how_ridiculous/
---
when you realize that it's not normal to obsessively calculate calories and worry about eating more than 1,000 when most people eat twice that; when you realize that what you eat in a full day is the equivalent of a meal for a lot of people. that it's not normal to get anxious about eating a bagel someone brought to the office or punish yourself by planning to restrict later to make up for it. that other people don't see you as fat, they don't think twice about your weight or consider you thin, while you constantly obsess over it.
realizing that normal people eat things that they want, like pasta and donuts and things that aren't nonfat or weird low-calorie alternatives, without immediately feeling like they've gained weight. that they eat without thinking about calories and don't automatically check the nutrition label at the grocery store. that they look in mirrors without checking to see how their thighs/stomach/ribs look. realizing that you could maintain your weight by eating 1,300 calories a day but the thought freaks you out. realizing that your relationship with food is seriously fucked up, but you can't remember what it's like to eat whatever you want, whenever through want, without worrying about it.
[Discussion] caralluma fimbriata
/u/clinamina [5'11'' | CW 116 | BMI 16.3 🌹 GW 110 🌹]
Created: Wed Aug 9 18:17:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spovx/caralluma_fimbriata/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] PSA fibre doesn't mix with liquor
/u/requiemforatardis [5'6.5| CW: 119 GW: 95 | all flubber | LW: 102.5 | 23Agender]
Created: Wed Aug 9 17:54:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spk6a/psa_fibre_doesnt_mix_with_liquor/
---
You, like me, may be a functioning alcoholic.
You, like me, may get most of your calories from liquor.
You, like me, may use fibre powder to be more... regular.
DONT MIX IT WITH WINE IT IS A WASTE OF TWO GOOD THINGS THEY DO NOT MAKE A SUPER THING THEY GET GROSS.
Thank you for your time.
[Humor] Saw this on r/wholesomememes and thought we all could benefit from the wholesomeness ☺️❤️
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 17:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6spi54/saw_this_on_rwholesomememes_and_thought_we_all/
---
https://i.redd.it/qrairg2xtsez.jpg
[Other] unexpected downside to weight loss
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW170 | GW120 | BMI24.65 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:48:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sp6en/unexpected_downside_to_weight_loss/
---
So I've always had pretty defined collar bones, even at my highest weight. They're maybe the only thing I can like about my body when I'm heavy. Now that I'm dropping, they hurt. I like to fuck up my posture when I'm in bed by resting my chin on my chest as I do shit and I just feel everything touching my bones there. Even just my laptop resting on my hipbones wigs me out. Does anybody else hate when the bonier parts of their body are touched? I get legit squeamish. I'm afraid of what life will be like when I'm sub-20 BMI and I can feel my ribs rubbing on the mattress.
[Other] sometimes bukowsi hits too close to home with these titles
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:25:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sp170/sometimes_bukowsi_hits_too_close_to_home_with/
---
https://i.redd.it/hoavj9dqfsez.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Feeling a binge coming on
/u/SomethingsGottaHave
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:17:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sozbw/feeling_a_binge_coming_on/
---
Not sure I flaired this right.
I've been restricting more than I usually do (and succeeding which I'm pretty proud of), but I am having a bad day and can feel my brain thinking up excuses as to why it would be ok. Anyway was hoping to post this as a sort of accountability since I've been doing so well so far in the day and it's treadmill day anyway. I've been feeling so good these last few days with the higher restriction that I don't want to end up feeling like a failure tomorrow. Just thinking about eating more than I've allotted myself is making me feel like a failure.
Also! My roommate got in super late last night and was just generally loud. So, needless to say I did not sleep well.
Ugh! I really do not want eat all the food tonight. I hope recognizing it will prevent it? I probably don't make sense haha
[Humor] The best part about throwing up what you just ate in the toilet...
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:11:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6soy31/the_best_part_about_throwing_up_what_you_just_ate/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] DAE hate their calves more than their thighs??
/u/CorpulentThrowaway [5'5.5 | -25 | LW+GW 95 | 23M]
Created: Wed Aug 9 16:11:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6soy1l/dae_hate_their_calves_more_than_their_thighs/
---
I always hear people hating on their thighs but my calves have *always* been a bigger problem for me. Like, at my LW, I had a thigh gap. It was ok. I'm nearing one again and that's cool I guess. I wouldn't say I *like* my thighs but when I compare them to the fuckin SAUSAGES THAT ARE MY CALVES...
Like. [Look at this goddamn body check from a couple days ago.](https://i.gyazo.com/e81cbfdc3bb0a317bc41d561fa5d9388.png) The lighting is deceiving re: my thighs (the only parts that actually touch are ~1 inch at the top) but even then you can see space between them. And then there's just. THE PUDGIEST, SQUISHIEST CALVES IN THE WORLD SMOOSHING TOGETHER? I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS. It seems like peoples calves go apart BEFORE their thighs so why the fuck do mine just NEVER SHRINK EVER
I don't even run. My highest weight was only borderline overweight, and also, 7-8 years ago. There is NO reason my calves should be SO FUCKIN BIG. AUGH.
I dunno. I've just been feeling super gross about them and needed to rant because I've never seen anybody else have this problem :( Pls tell me someone else here has issues with their calves lol. I'm feeling self conscious about them *and self-conscious about feeling self-conscious about them* body image is a fuckin trip
[Other] If I binge again tomorrow, I might actually kill myself.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 15:49:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sot0z/if_i_binge_again_tomorrow_i_might_actually_kill/
---
[removed]
[Humor] An ode to Lara bars
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Wed Aug 9 14:24:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so8ul/an_ode_to_lara_bars/
---
I HATE YOU
Ah, my one true love
The thing that makes me feel like a dove,
The one taste that can bring anyone to their knees
The thing that has made me binge so many times.
The thing I am writing about right now that will make people cringe
I HATE YOU
Your gooey taste has taken me to the heavens
Replenishes my energy if I eat them in elevens
The mint, the cashew, the peanut butter
Oh Why good you, are you so many calories
I have to spend my whole salary.
~the next part is stolen from Ten things I hate about you~
I hate the way your not around,
And the fact you didn't call, but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all.
Summary- Lara Mint chocolate chip brownie taste exactly like fudge brownie with mint chocolate chip brownies and I may or may not have just eaten an entire box🙃
[Rant/Rave] All time high and I want to cry.
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 14:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so7j2/all_time_high_and_i_want_to_cry/
---
I can't believe how freaking enormous I am.
I'm a burlesque dancer and I saw pictures of myself from a performance last week and I look like a WHALE. I can't believe they let me on the stage. I had been panicking for a few days about weighing myself and I didn't want to, and I finally did today. I watched it count up to 180 and then keep going and I stepped off before I could see.
I'm disgusting.
I just moved to an apartment essentially by myself (I don't see my roommate often) and I picked up some Bronkaid from the pharmacy. I can't eat. I can't.
How did I do this to myself?
Edit: I went to update my flair. I'm overweight.
I'm fat.
For the first time in my life, I'm actually, medically fat.
I want to die, what have I done?
[Discussion] does anyone else have a very fluid/unstable idea of their weight/appearance?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 14:06:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so4eq/does_anyone_else_have_a_very_fluidunstable_idea/
---
like i'll pass a store window or mirror and realize that my legs look skinny or my stomach is flatter than i would've thought but then walk past a mirror at work and think that i don't look skinny at all. people have commented on me looking too thin but i can feel my thigh gap getting smaller and can see some weight gain in pictures. my physical self-image fluctuates like this all the time; it's difficult to gauge what other people see or if i'm actually skinny or not lollllll does anyone else experience this (i'm guessing yes cuz we're all posting here but)
[Rant/Rave] what happens when you're on the treadmill for a long time
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 13:54:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6so1lq/what_happens_when_youre_on_the_treadmill_for_a/
---
so i binged on 1000 calories first thing in the morning, so to undo that, i hopped on the treadmill and ran for an hour and a half with 10 one-minute walking breaks between them, which added up to 100 minutes in total.
so what happens when the timer on your treadmill goes all the way up until it can't count up any higher (aka 99:59)?
this bitch shut off on me when i was planning on doing some more running? wtf? turns out if you're on the treadmill until it can't count, it just shuts off
[Rant/Rave] dumb rant about friends
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 13:46:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snzo8/dumb_rant_about_friends/
---
so my friends told me to stop talking about my eating disorder because it makes them feel bad.
what?? the fuck?? like??
if it makes you feel bad? imagine how i feel? i am now completely isolating myself lmao
too real...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 13:37:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snxil/too_real/
---
http://i.imgur.com/30L6v2e.png
[Discussion] DAE crave straight fats
/u/slimmer_lite [5'5" | 125 | 21.5 | GW: 118 | UGW: 110]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:49:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snlt4/dae_crave_straight_fats/
---
DAE crave and/or eat straight-up fats when fasting or high restricting? Especially when I was in my lower weight range (114ish) I would literally eat tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil. Which is like, 120 calories in one go. And doesn't even taste good? It was disgusting but I guess for some reason it would satisfy my cravings. And butter. Omg, butter! I would eat it with pretzel sticks, or make a piece of toast and butter fat would pool on it. So gross. I guess my binge probs around cheese and peanut butter maybe stem from the same fats cravings. Anyone got an answer as to why my body does that??? And how I can stop those cravings?
On mobile, can't flair or tag. Sorry!
[Goal] Starting a fast again
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 131lbs | BMI 20.45 | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:23:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snf6i/starting_a_fast_again/
---
Just posting to keep me motivated on it and so I can update and feel proud. Fast starts today.
Diet cokes/black coffee/green tea only until Saturday is the goal. If I can make it to then it will be like half a day longer than my longest fasting period.
Can't believe how much of a whale I've become since recovery and being on antidepressants.
[Rant/Rave] back at it yet again lol!
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:22:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sneyd/back_at_it_yet_again_lol/
---
i stopped counting calories/heavily restricting for a few weeks (some days i even ate like 2,000 calories?!?!) and i know that i've gained weight--not much, but enough that i notice and i feel gross and know that the only way to maintain a low/underweight bmi is to restrict so! back to counting calories and heavily restricting i guess. my boss was going to take me out to eat and i freaked out because i brought a clif bar (relatively safe food) for lunch but then she rescheduled and i'm relieved lmao
guess i can't ditch disordered eating just yet. i'm glad this community exists tbh, you all make me feel less alone with food issues ✌️
[Intro] Hi there, I just lost 100lbs and I'm obsessed with losing weight to get what I want. I hope I fit in.
/u/tinycode [5'5" | HW 250 | CW 150 | GW1 120 | 22F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:05:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snaw7/hi_there_i_just_lost_100lbs_and_im_obsessed_with/
---
I'm a long time lurker, so I thought I would finally introduce myself.
I recently lost 100lbs in 4 months after listening to how [Elna Baker](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/transcript) did it. I was on prescription diet medication, EC stacks, and went on a lowfat diet. I gained weight trying Keto prior to being on medication. Even though I kept my carbs under 20g, a fat-based and protein based diet is extremely calorie dense. Keto only enabled me to binge on cheese, meat, and diet coke. You lose weight, but only through water really.
I just accepted a new bioengineering job where I start mid September. When I was 250lbs, I was denied to my in-person interview, and I truly believe that losing the weight was the only reason why I was hired a year later. I had more confidence, I wore nicer interviewer clothes, I was able to study more because I wasn't insecure about being in a coffee shop or a library, thinking about all the rolls on my body when I would sit or ordering a bagel and thinking if people thought I should of ate an apple.
I got to choose my team for this job. My team is mainly skinny, intellectual Asian and White women (I'm also Asian). I remember when we were having dinner, some of the women couldn't eat because they were stress about a deadline or another said that she had a big salad for lunch and couldn't eat. They skip meals out of pure drive and I'm having a mental battle for hours about what I need to eat next. These women are so driven, successful, intelligent, and naturally skinny, it makes me so jealous. All their clothes just hang on their bodies. When they walk in heels, it looks like they're going down a fashion show.
With all this mind, losing weight didn't do anything for my mentality. It just made it worst. If I'm not on medication, I eat everything in sight. I still think I'm 250lbs. I judge happy people that weigh what I used to weigh. It takes so much energy for me to fucking put food down, crying almost.
Let me just be the new girl in the office who eats salads and La Croix, the *thin* girl who all the older women emulate, and all the men want to get to know and help because she's too fragile.
I hope to connect and rant with you all lovely people on our personal journeys to perfection.
[Other] [UPDATE] Metabolism study
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 200 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 12:03:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6snaj2/update_metabolism_study/
---
So I had a phone interview with the lady searching for subjects today, and it turns out I'm not qualified- they're looking for people who exercise less than 150 min/week, and I blow through that every day just walking to work/to the store/back and forth from lab/etc.
Oh well, goodbye $3600 ;-;
(It may be a blessing in disguise, they're looking for people maintaining their weight, and if I had to purposely maintain this I think I'd actually have a breakdown)
[Discussion] DAE find that when things go wrong in your life it jump starts a new round of restriction?
/u/mapvi [5'4 | CW: 136.8ish | LW: 124.4 | GW1: 132 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn7pd/dae_find_that_when_things_go_wrong_in_your_life/
---
I basically just got led on by a guy that's become my best friend, and I told him we shouldn't talk anymore. Obviously this fucking sucks and I wish it weren't the case, but at the same time I've found a positive in it: I'm restricting again. I've been stuck in a binge cycle, so it's nice being upset enough that restriction is coming almost naturally again.
This really isn't that insightful, but idk I wanted to share. :/
[Rant/Rave] DAE find that when things go wrong in your life it jump starts a new round of restriction?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:52:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn7mn/dae_find_that_when_things_go_wrong_in_your_life/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else call a 'normal' sized meal a binge?
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 115 | 19.66 | :(+30pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn6ti/does_anyone_else_call_a_normal_sized_meal_a_binge/
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I just ate like a 622 calorie meal because my mom made me go eat with her and I feel absolutely disgusting.
[Goal] I DID IT! (Broke into 130s!)
/u/chloelouiise
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:45:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sn5pa/i_did_it_broke_into_130s/
---
I'm back down below 10 stone! I gained like 10 pounds over 3 months and I've lost it all again! I'm back to where I was before I moved here!
Now to get below 126lb (9stone)!
[Goal] Happiness is...
/u/cryptic_constipator [5'3 | 95.4]
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:05:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smvov/happiness_is/
---
https://i.redd.it/cx954uopuqez.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Wed Aug 9 11:00:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smua2/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/sv0vmvhstqez.jpg
[Humor] What to wear what to wear.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Aug 9 10:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smqcm/what_to_wear_what_to_wear/
---
https://i.redd.it/dcy36fouqqez.jpg
[Discussion] DAE binge before a big test?
/u/snaafuuu [5'3| 200 | 36.41 | -3.2 | F |]
Created: Wed Aug 9 10:12:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smiia/dae_binge_before_a_big_test/
---
I have a big test today and I usually talk myself into eating SOMETHING so I'm not distracted by my stomach and its probably the healthy thing to do to eat before a test. But I usually end up bingeing like crazy and feel even shittier. Anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] Just a reminder
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 09:56:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6smeks/just_a_reminder/
---
[removed]
[Help] My boyfriend took away my scale last night.
/u/china_doll
Created: Wed Aug 9 09:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sm6em/my_boyfriend_took_away_my_scale_last_night/
---
The title says it. I had restricted last week Monday-Friday and "lost" 4 lbs in the process and I was so happy. I say "lost" because I know somewhere in the back of my mind that I didn't actually lose that much weight, it was mostly just water weight. But then we went to my family's cottage over the weekend, and after weighing myself last night I had "gained" those 4 lbs back. Again, I say "gained" because somewhere in the back of my fucked up mind, I know I didn't gain 4 lbs in three days. He tried to convince me of that but I got upset and started crying. He stormed into my bathroom and took away the scale, saying "you're going to fucking kill yourself over this". Not kill myself because I'm starving, no, I'm actually overweight. He thinks I'm going to kill myself because I am absolutely obsessed with my weight, with that number on the scale. I ALWAYS have been.
I need help. I don't know what's normal anymore. Do normal people think about their weight every day? Do normal people physically claw at their flabby thighs and punch themselves in the stomach to punish themselves, or fantasize about cutting off strips of fat? That's an actual question, do normal people do that? I don't know anymore...
[Rant/Rave] Actual conversation I had yesterday
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 09:08:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sm2x0/actual_conversation_i_had_yesterday/
---
[deleted]
[Other] "You're so light"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sln63/youre_so_light/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The best birthday present 🎂 [Rave]
/u/uiume [5'4" | CW:122.8 | 21.72 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:55:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6slmcq/the_best_birthday_present_rave/
---
Okay so I used the losertown calculator and I'm really excited (And I'd assume it's pretty on track as it says every seven days I'll lose 1-1.5 pounds at 850 calories a day...I know it's not 100% accurate but it at least gives me a general timeframe to follow and keeps me motivated.) By my birthday, October 11th, if all goes relatively to plan, I should be around 110 lbs(my 2nd GW)!! Even if I don't get that low, I should at least already be at my original goal weight of 115 lbs (the calculator says I should be there by ~9/13).
Idk I'm just really happy because I've been doing so well with restricting and consciously eating and if anything my mood and energy levels have improved since I've lowered my calories (less is more?) So I really think my goals are within reach and even if they take longer than expected I know I'll be able to get there regardless. Being this optimistic and focused on my goals is really helping me realize that gluttony and overindulging on food is not something I need in my life and I am happier when I am making a conscious effort to improve upon myself. I'm genuinely happy and my depression has almost ceased to exist as of late.
[Help] [question] not really ed related, i'll take this down once i get an answer lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:34:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6slhv2/question_not_really_ed_related_ill_take_this_down/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] fellow veggies!!
/u/foxlatte [5'8" | cw: 180.4 | bmi: 27.1 | gw: 125 | 21f]
Created: Wed Aug 9 07:17:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6slecq/fellow_veggies/
---
how do you guys get low cal protein??? i always seem to be "filling up" (lol rip) on carbs! 😰😰😰
edit: i don't really like tofu...
[Rant/Rave] I got hit by a car and now I'm unable to go to the gym
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:24:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl40u/i_got_hit_by_a_car_and_now_im_unable_to_go_to_the/
---
I had a car literally run over my foot a couple of hours ago and that is the one thing I'm most upset about - not being able to train.
Nothing is broken but the ligament is severely damaged and who know how long it will take to heal. Right now my leg is in a cast and I can barely walk.
I feel fucking crushed. Gym was the only thing that kept my self-hatred under at least some control. I wake up in the mornings for the sake of going to the gym. My job sucks. My social life is barely existent. Exercising was really the only thing that made me feel better.
Knowing myself I'm either going to get fat now or fall into another stupid restriction cycle.
This sucks. This sucks so much. Why couldn't it be just a normal boring work day :(
[Discussion] It's the little things that make me want to die
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:23:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl3sn/its_the_little_things_that_make_me_want_to_die/
---
It is 8am, and I want to die. Like always.
• It's how I can't look at a banana without thinking "this potassium will help me not faint during my upcoming fast"
• It's how I can't eat breakfast without feeling like I've already failed the day
• It's how I can't look at a calendar without automatically skipping to 21 days in advance telling myself that's the next time I'm allowing myself to eat
• It's how I can't ever go through my fasting plans and end up crying at 5 am in my own vomit and blood
• It's how I can't consume anything without wondering how its texture will change on the way back up
• It's how I can't go anywhere without my phone because I absolutely need to know how many steps I take a day
• It's how I can't trust nutrition labels and have to add 50 extra calories to everything I log
• It's how my fingers always reek of bile and my knuckles are always red and sore
• It's how I can't ever buy the normal version if I know there's a sugar-free or fat-free option
• It's how I can't walk out of a grocery store without a 12 pack of Diet Coke
• It's how I can't drink coffee with milk and sugar without making myself violently sick for the rest of the day
• It's how I can't walk around in public without being paranoid someone is looking at me and thinking I'm fat
• It's how I can't brush or wash my hair without praying it won't fall out
• It's how I can't go out and enjoy the summer with the rest of my friends because the peer pressure and happiness is too risky for my ED tendencies
• It's how I can't have steady relationships with any guy I date because as soon as I sense sexual tension, I leave to avoid him seeing my naked body
• It's how I can't ever give my parents an explanation for why I never eat in front of them but keep on gaining more weight
• It's how I can't go shopping without looking at every single XS dress wondering when I can finally shop that aisle
• It's how I can't go out to restaurants because it's too hard to hide my swollen eyes and chipmunk cheeks after purging in a public bathroom
It's the little things. I will never fucking understand people who think anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS is a diet or a lifestyle you can choose.
This isn't a fucking diet. This isn't a fucking lifestyle. This is a fucking living nightmare you can't wake up from. This is a life where you're constantly in a state of panic because a gun is being pointed at you 24/7, but you're the fucking cunt behind the trigger and there's nothing you can do about it.
[Discussion] August 9th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl3io/august_9th_2017_question_of_the_day/
---
What was your last sent text message?
[Intro] Hey :)
/u/fLuFFLet0n [163cm | 53kg | 21 BMI | 37kg lost overall l f]
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:15:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl2gr/hey/
---
Hello! I have been a long time lurker and I really like this place so I decided to post now.
Ever since I am small, I had an unnormal relationship to food. Food soothes me like nothing else. I was overweight my whole childhood and teen years. I was a binge eater. Food as my only friend, how sad right? I lost a lot of weight due to a chamelion like ED. But just last year I found out that my eating is actually disordered, as I developed bulimia (bp and restriction episodes).
Just wanted to say that this is such a beautiful sub with friendly people! We are all in the same boat, right? Stay awesome. Also if you wanna message or vent, I am here ♥
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:12:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl1su/daily_food_diary_august_09_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 09, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 9 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sl1ku/way_to_go_wednesday_august_09_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 09, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.09
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Wed Aug 9 04:41:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sknc8/thinspiration_809/
---
http://imgur.com/a/5r4tX
[Help] What to do when periods are gone?
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Wed Aug 9 04:05:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ski51/what_to_do_when_periods_are_gone/
---
I'm sorry for asking many probably stupid questions lately. I couldn't find answers from internet and I'm getting concerned..
So. Last time my periods came was in January. I went to see my school's doctor in May (which I made a post of, too) and she said nothing helpful, just 'try to gain weight'.
I gained weight during summer. Not intentionally but by binging. Periods didn't come back. Now I've lost said weight. Periods still gone.
I'm only 16 years old and starting to get worried if this will affect some aspects of my life later. I've read about how people might not get children if their hormones get too messed up like this for a long time. That's my greatest fear, but I don't know what to do. I took blood tests, too, but they came out perfectly good.
So what should I do..? What will happen if they don't come back? Has this happened to any of you / if so, what did you do?
[Humor] :(:
/u/sugarpiIl
Created: Wed Aug 9 02:36:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sk5pn/_/
---
https://i.redd.it/o2wdwq2uboez.jpg
[Discussion] DAE have a sibling to constantly compare themselves to?
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 9 01:57:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sk0l4/dae_have_a_sibling_to_constantly_compare/
---
I think some of my body image issues stem from the constant comparison between me and my little sister. Growing up, she was the beautiful one and I was the 'smart' one. We look nothing alike. I'd be a millionaire if I got a dollar every time someone was like "omg is X your sister??? She's GORGEOUS, you definitely don't look like sisters"
She outgrew me at puberty and somehow she's managed to be skinnier, taller, more hourglass shaped and even have bigger boobs than me. Not to mention her traditionally beautiful face inherited from our mother (whereas I've always looked more masculine - I got our father's face and a slight underbite ;-;)
I haven't been comparing myself to my sis for a while, but we were recently abroad and she got a lot of attention from strangers which apparently triggered me. "She's your sister?? Gorgeous!!" yeah and also please tell me about my fascinating personality, will you :)))
Recently she's put on a fair amount of weight due to her constant snacking. Not quite in the overweight range yet, but she's noticeably chubbier. At least I can finally call myself the skinny sister. It's like she's reverse thinspo for me 😂
[Discussion] Does anyone make food/encourage others to get dessert to watch them eat?
/u/kitty_mew
Created: Wed Aug 9 01:25:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjw8x/does_anyone_make_foodencourage_others_to_get/
---
Hey guys! It's my first time posting. I had been lurking for quite sometime, and I was hoping to find something like my question up above.
But like my title, has anyone ever openly encouraged a friend/lover/family member/meal time buddy (if that's even a thing) get something super decadent and just watch them eat it in front of you?
When I was in high school (and as a young adult), I was obsessed with food. I used to eat once a day, and after that one meal, I'd...well, it never stayed down. I started self-recovery at around 22, but would relapse every once in a while. Whenever I "dieted" in the past (I did the HCG diet; HCD drops + 500cal days), I would always relapse. I'd binge, then...it wouldn't stay down. I was pretty good at hiding it since I was a house, but so far, it's been okay.
I have noticed that since changing my current lifestyle, I really can't eat the things I used to eat. It's terrible, but sometimes I'll see someone overweight going into a restaurant and I'll be so jealous that they can eat the foods I can't eat. Like, right now, my full day is supposed to be at 1389. I'm barely having 900 (after a 2-day water/coffee fast).
Anyway, back to why I asked my question. I hate myself for this, but I always low-key encourage my bf to get dessert. Or get an appetizer with his gigantic dinner; for the sole purpose of watching him eat it. And I stare at him so intensely when he does it! He loves chicken tenders and fries, and I will legit watch him eat. It's a little creepy. Apparently, when I look at him, it's either with an expression of disgust or blatant jealousy.
Does anyone else go through this?
PS.
He's not fat; he's pretty average, with a little bit of pooch on his belly. I feel terrible that he's my scapegoat. I also HIGHLY encourage him to get pastries at a Korean bakery so I can ask him how delicious his deep fried red bean bun tastes like.
If this is not an okay subject, I totally get it; I'll take it down.
[Rant/Rave] craving a big bowl of cheerios right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 9 00:51:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjrar/craving_a_big_bowl_of_cheerios_right_now/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Stretch marks from being overweight
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Wed Aug 9 00:50:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjr4i/stretch_marks_from_being_overweight/
---
I let myself go in the past and I got deep stretch marks they're already white and faded but they remain deep looking. I hate my body so much. I don't even think getting to my goal weight will make me look better because of these marks.
[Help] Could you help me with figuring out how much of my recent weight loss is water weight?
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Tue Aug 8 23:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjhyw/could_you_help_me_with_figuring_out_how_much_of/
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Guys. Reached my lowest weight yet today by Very High restriction for a few days.
I went from 108 pounds to 103 in a short time - but that's the thing, too short time went by.
I've been eating under 600 calories for three days now, and yesterday evening the scale showed almost two pounds more than it was now, so I don't think the 103 is accurate. Do you have any idea how much of the weight can come back when I continue to do my usual 800-calorie days?
(I'm sorry if this is confusing to read, I'm tired and couldn't find the exactly right words)
[Rant/Rave] Those of you without a scale or who don't weigh themselves, how???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 8 23:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sjczj/those_of_you_without_a_scale_or_who_dont_weigh/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Recently have been feeling like a fake as fuck fat girl. So I took this picture to remind myself how far I've come.
/u/MidnightBlueFox [5'5 | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 22 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 22:51:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sj90x/recently_have_been_feeling_like_a_fake_as_fuck/
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https://i.redd.it/23wijdkt7nez.jpg
[Humor] Im looking forward to tomorrow 💥
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:59:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sizi2/im_looking_forward_to_tomorrow/
---
https://i.redd.it/wnwmsobhymez.png
[Help] Tofu friendly recipes??
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siwbq/tofu_friendly_recipes/
---
I want to try to go back to being vegetarian and I've never eaten tofu but it sounds like something I might enjoy.
Besides miso soup please.
Love you all-beautiful ladies and men 🖤
[Rant/Rave] Oh wow someone's planning a junk food night.....
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:30:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siu4n/oh_wow_someones_planning_a_junk_food_night/
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Said the guy at the grocery store checkout at 11pm.
I haven't eaten all day...have been so good at restriction, and beyond depressed. Had a shit day at work and here is this old mAn making me feel horrible over buying a frozen cheese pizza and about 8 normal size cookies from the self serve bakery at wegmans. Like wtf man!
Half is for my boyfriend who's making me eat tonight. He's noticed I've been losing. So I figured perfect binge night, and back to it tomorrow. I can do this!
Why do people think this is okay!?!
[Help] I may be nude on TV in five days.
/u/tvthrownaway
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:27:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sitqa/i_may_be_nude_on_tv_in_five_days/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Any exercises that could be done in a tiny bathroom?
/u/RooftopDreams
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:22:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sisu9/any_exercises_that_could_be_done_in_a_tiny/
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I can't let anyone see me exercise, and there's never a time of day where it'd be possible. My only option is the bathroom 😩
Any exercises yall know of that are effective and can be done in a small space??!
[Help] How to run without getting bored?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:13:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sir3q/how_to_run_without_getting_bored/
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So I run back and forth in my room (bc I like running in the dark and I don't like going outside) but I get like really bored while doing that. So what should I do? What do you guys do while running?
[Help] How to run with out getting bored
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 8 21:12:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siqxe/how_to_run_with_out_getting_bored/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I really just want to die from this...
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Tue Aug 8 20:28:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siih4/i_really_just_want_to_die_from_this/
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I'm in so much pain from binging and purging non-stop. I truly cannot stop and I'm physically hurting. My legs are cramping and I feel like shit but I have potassium pills from the hospital from when it was low after getting an IV.
And I'm seriously feeling really really bad right now and will probably take one after I finish purging because I don't want to die in my sleep because I have so so much to clean.
But the ED and depression makes anything hard to finish.
I am ready to die. I am. I don't think I can overcome this. My life is so meaningless and as much as I want to believe in hope I am stuck in a very bad b/p cycle.
I want to be done. Seventeen years. I can't make it. I don't want to keep living anymore.
I'm horribly lonely with this ED. I can't function at work or have meaningful friendships. I just have vomit bags and food stains.
I really want to die...I don't even know why I am posting this. I'm just in a very bad place and I don't see a light.
I don't feel human anymore. I cannot be loved in this state.
[Rant/Rave] I don't feel like I deserve to eat
/u/IceInIridian
Created: Tue Aug 8 20:27:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6siiga/i_dont_feel_like_i_deserve_to_eat/
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I'm not really sure how to tag this but I guess it's a rant also I'm sorry if the formatting is bad I'm on my phone and I can't seem to do anything right lol
It sucks because as soon as the stupidest thing sets me off I become extremely negative and my first thought is to start restricting again or to do another fast because for some morbid reason it's my coping mechanism for fucking up.
It sucks because I don't even enjoy not eating or eating very little because I love food but the voice (not literal voice I swear I'm not that crazy you guys) inside my head goes "stupid ugly worthless piece of shit don't even think about eating dinner you don't deserve to put anything in your mouth" and I feel terrible for trying to eat or disobey that voice and it makes me feel even worse and even more negative and hence the cycle begins again.
Does anyone remember my last post when I mentioned maintaining? haha just kidding time to drop another five pounds
[Rant/Rave] gained to a healthy weight and feeling really strong urges to restrict again ugh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 8 19:40:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6si95l/gained_to_a_healthy_weight_and_feeling_really/
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[deleted]
[Help] Any way to force a whoosh?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 19:15:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6si3wx/any_way_to_force_a_whoosh/
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I've plateaued. I've been steadily losing weight and now I bounce between 82kg and 83kg. I'm going crazy.
[Rant/Rave] Off topic
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Tue Aug 8 18:58:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6si0gs/off_topic/
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[removed]
[Intro] hi bbs
/u/slimmer_lite [5'5" | 125 | 21.5 | GW: 118 | UGW: 110]
Created: Tue Aug 8 18:41:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6shwy5/hi_bbs/
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Just a lil lurker lettin' it all hang out! (lol fur real tho)
been dealing with on-and-off EDNOS for about 6 years -- b/p, restriction, exercise bulimia blah blah blah. Getting pretty fed up (heh) with it all; just looking for some non-judgmental support and "i feel u fam." find this sub pretty cathartic! thx.
[Discussion] Anyone else here binge when the scale is showing you're losing weight?
/u/letstryforkarma
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sh4tn/anyone_else_here_binge_when_the_scale_is_showing/
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Not intentionally. But do you happen to be more prone to binging when the scale is down because "maybe i can afford this".
I never premeditate binges. The just happen. But risking a binge with trigger foods happens more often when I'm liking the direction the scale is heading.
I have 2 issues with the scale:
1. Checking the scale when I'm losing makes me more prone to binging
2. Avoiding the scale on a several day binge
So it's like i can't live with or without it. Kinda effed.
[Rant/Rave] Had a dream I ate pasta, actually a nightmare
/u/tinydancer2525
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:27:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sh434/had_a_dream_i_ate_pasta_actually_a_nightmare/
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Woke up in a panic! Gave up carbs 7 months ago. On another note my doctor called to make sure I'm seeing a therapist this week. I want to cancel and they are admit I go. I'm not even close to under weight. But when I went about my bruises they suspect I might have a eating disorder. I don't want to tell them anything or to be put on medication. I'm always scared to open up to doctors. I don't want to look like a bad mother because of my food anxiety. I always try to eat at least 1000 calories day.
[Discussion] Does Anybody Else like watching gross food recipes?
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 10 | 27.3 | 34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:14:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sh11c/does_anybody_else_like_watching_gross_food_recipes/
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I deliver pizza for a living and I'm never LESS hungry than when I get off after work, because I've just watched congealed grease and cheese all day, and I've started watching really gross meme-y food recipes whenever I get hunger cravings.
Like [THIS MASTERPIECE](https://youtu.be/E12Z1u53b1Y) for example. Nothing kills the desire to eat faster.
I used to curb the hunger pangs by looking at pictures of food and recipes and things, because I could sort of pretend I was eating them, but this is WAY better. It's like aversion therapy!
[Thinspo] When you from six years ago is your thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 8 16:06:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgz7i/when_you_from_six_years_ago_is_your_thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/1P5HkwI.jpg
[Rant/Rave] E-cigarettes and curbing cravings (Rave)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | 143.8 lbs | 26.18 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 15:30:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgqjn/ecigarettes_and_curbing_cravings_rave/
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So I bought one of those disposable menthol e-cigarettes with nicotine because I've heard nicotine curbs cravings! Maybe it's totally a placebo effect but it's been working. I don't even care if it's all in my head, as long as it works. I figured if I'm going to be indulging in unhealthy behavior it might as well be the kind that doesn't leave tar and soot in my lungs, right?
[Humor] Y'all keep looking at models n shit for thinspo and I'm just like
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Tue Aug 8 15:24:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgp4q/yall_keep_looking_at_models_n_shit_for_thinspo/
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[removed]
[Tip] For your constipation
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 15:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sgp1l/for_your_constipation/
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*WARNING TMI*
I've been restricting for a few weeks now and while my BMs were awesome I seem to have hit a snag.
Last night I tried for 30 minutes and just nothing. So I tried the massage technique in the link below and this morning ice had somewhat of a BM. Not the stunners I usually have, but beggars can't be choosers.
She starts the actual massage at 3 minutes.
https://youtu.be/DBdWbYakqGo
EDIT: just had a much better BM.
[Tip] Tesco Safe Foods (UK & ROI)
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 14:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sg7pt/tesco_safe_foods_uk_roi/
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Hey guys, I am from Ireland and was on here a few days ago about monster energy drinks, I know thought most of you probably despise liquid calories and in my first cycle through anorexia I did too but I thought I would Share a few Tesco drinks I like when restricting:
- Tesco Sparkling Water flavored (Specifically the peach and passion-fruit flavor its heaven in a drink) its 2kcal per 100ml or 20kcal for the whole liter but makes me feel full for so long.
- Tesco Still flavored water, Same quality as the sparkling with less calories with 8kcal for the litre.
-Options Hot chocolate, This one is for a treat every once in a while as its 40kcal which for me is a bit steep for a mug of hot chocolate, but some days you just need a chocolate fix!
-And of course Monster Energy Ultra, no need to explain 9kcal for a 500ml can, keeps your energy up.
Any more Tesco safe food or drink? comment below
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Being in photos is the worst
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 13:21:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sftzb/rant_being_in_photos_is_the_worst/
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I went to the beach yesterday in a bathing suit, which was a huge accomplishment for me and also a huge struggle (see: all my previous posts lately). My sister is really into Instagram and taking the perfect picture, so she took like ~100 shots of me in my bathing suit at the beach and then today was like "look through them and pick one so you can upload it!" And so I started flipping through them, determined to find something to like about myself because I've been trying to recover for the past few weeks since I hit my original GW, but... in every one of those pictures, my hips looked huge, my thighs fat, my stomach area barrel chested, my boobs too big, and my face asymmetrical and fat in the places it should be thin and too thin in the places it should be round. All I wanted was to be able to see myself as something beautiful. All the other girls on Instagram seem to be able to manage it, but I just can't. And I feel so discouraged because this is the lowest weight I've been in a long time and I've been eating normally for about two and a half weeks now and I thought things were going to get better but now all I see is this creature that will never, ever look delicate and thin, not even if I weigh nothing at all. Right now I just want to purge even though I've never done it before and I know it won't help, or just turn into some formless energy being instead of having to be a person. I just don't know what to do. I will never look the way I feel like I'm supposed to look but I can't stand being the way I am any more.
[Other] So I might be participating in a metabolism research study
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 13:08:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfqnx/so_i_might_be_participating_in_a_metabolism/
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So at my school, one of the labs is doing this study on lean and overweight participants, putting them on a diet for 16 weeks to study changes in metabolism, weight, and body composition.
And they'll pay for all the meals and up to 3600 USD.
I don't even know if this really fits into this sub, but you guys are all great, and I wanted to share the opportunity I might have- I think the extra pressure of doing it for science will actually curb my binging urges.
All I know is I have a phone interview tomorrow, and I'm kinda bummed that I even qualify as fat enough, but that I'm stoked to lose weight for science. Maybe that's the motivation I need when I don't care about my own health lol
[Intro] hello!
/u/trashboating_ [⭐ 5'1" | CW: ~93 | ~18.3 | GW: 77 | F ⭐]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:49:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfltr/hello/
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my name is ly and after lurking for a long time (over a year!) i've finally decided to join. I don't actually know what to put in an introduction post... i've had an eating disorder since i was about 8, so almost 7 years at this point.
i'm very much looking forward to talking with all you you. :)
[Thinspo] Hannah Snowdon
/u/daeboo [5ft2/87.2lbs🌑]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfg5s/hannah_snowdon/
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http://imgur.com/a/pWKvD
[Help] Takeaway! Help!
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:13:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfccq/takeaway_help/
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I have to have Indian takeout with my family tonight (already ordered) - how do I stop myself pigging the entire lot?
Indian is my one true weakness 😱
And I was doing so well!!
[Rant/Rave] walmart runs are now a nightmare. fuck this ED.
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Tue Aug 8 12:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sfca4/walmart_runs_are_now_a_nightmare_fuck_this_ed/
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Went on a midnight run to grab a few essentials with the SO and found myself surrounded by more sorority girls than normal. I know that it's rush week and all so the concentrations in town seem more than it really is, and it'll change when the rest of campus gets back.
But it's one thing to see thinspo on Instagram, but to see thinspo at walmart when you're already feeling frumpy and all you can think is that their laughs between each other are totally directed at you and your big drumstick thighs.
It's not their fault, really. I know that. They're just doing normal things and probably don't even know I exist. But I feel like I'm constantly under this spotlight no matter where I go, and it's neon bright and is totally screaming "LOOK AT THIS FAT UGLY FUCK" and I can't do anything to hide it.
Shit's hard, yo. Looks like I'm waking up at 5am for any groceries from now on.
[Rant/Rave] "but logically you know you're not overweight!"
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:24:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sf0pf/but_logically_you_know_youre_not_overweight/
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No. No, Brenda, I don't actually know on some mystical level that I'm not overweight.
I have an eating disorder, Brenda. I look at myself and see a My 600-Pound Life star.
Isolating myself again today. Don't feel like I deserve support for my ED until I'm as thin as the people at my support group. Feel like a whiny fat kid appropriating the term "ED" for sympathy. Like no recovery materials are intended for me, like my support group was secretly disgusted by me (like everyone else).
I'm too scared to know how much I weigh, but I was legitimately frightened that I was having an obesity-induced heart attack last night.
I don't know how to get help if it's only for thin people. Maybe I'm not supposed to get help. Maybe this is what the "recovery community" wants me to do.
Please tag rant/rave.
[Rant/Rave] When you take a half pound poop.
/u/for-your-pleasure [5'3" | CW120ish | GW99 | AFAB/they]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:17:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6seyzy/when_you_take_a_half_pound_poop/
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😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
[Rant/Rave] Lost 15 pounds or so in two weeks and still feel empty and accomplished. Possible trigger warning
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6seww2/lost_15_pounds_or_so_in_two_weeks_and_still_feel/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
Hello lovelies it's me. I joined a gym last a week and a half to two weeks ago and have worked out three hours a day up until today.
I was spend 5 hours in the gym doing running and lifting all on an empty stomach not really eating, not eating outside a post work out energy drink. Then I would walk two miles home, shower and change and walk another two miles to work.
At work I cook for 8 hours walking a lot and standing and cooking which I guess is considered an active job but you would know cause a lot of my coworkersare either average or overweight and enjoy the comfort foods of the business
Mini rant within rant I find shamelessly obese people especially "fat acceptance" types really triggering and upsetting. I have several coworkers who are pushing 250 to 300lbs and it's like they don't know. And while I acknowledge not all vegans are healthy I feel like it perpetuates a bad image for our vegan establishment. End mini rant.
So after work I walk around a small lake park on my way home with amounts to 5 miles or so. I guess I walk between 10 and 15 miles a day not counting steps at work cause I charge my phone usually at work and don't walk that much for it to count.
I have rounded down on all the calories I have burned and still been around a 3000 calorie deficit because several hours at the gym a lot running or doing elliptical, 1000, work giving a very conservative estimate of 500 to 550 even though a lot of estimates give me almost 1000 for an 8 hour shift. Plus almost 1000 of just walking several miles puts me between 2500 and 3000 the last few days not counting what I would need for maintainence even though I don't think o need maintainence because I have a lot of fast and muscle.
Of this last week I had three to 4 binge days where I also worked out and went to the gym and for that week not counting maintainence calories (I have lose it set to zero calorie for the day so I only keep track of what I consume or burn. ) I was still under for the week by 8700 calories also rounding down.
So I woke up this morning to a weigh in of 15 or so pounds less than the last time I checked or knew my weight which would have been at home or my last doctors appointment. I feel like this is all unrealistic but I want to keep going.
I feel like one bite will balloon me up 15 pounds. I don't trust my body or metabolism or the calories burned or on any packaging. I fantasize about small meals in the future when I get closer to my ugw and have to try and maintain.
SEVERAL CALCULATORS SAY I CAN MAINTAIN AN UNDER WEIGHT BMI ON ALMOST 2000 CALORIES A DAY!
That just doesn't make sense. I feel like my body is a dud and doesn't respond like bodies should I feel like I have a metabolic disorder or something wrong with me I feel like I gain no matter the amount especially above 1500 I just hold onto food and water.
So weightloss aside I am not happy cause it's not my goal weight and I need to keep up this rigorous routine for another 2 months potentially before I am close to my ugw even though I am almost a third of the way there after 2 weeks..
I just feel empty. Literally and figuratively. All this and I feel nothing.
Willow.
[Discussion] Pain killers while restricting?
/u/follyflop [5'9" | CW: fucking ew | GW: much less | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 11:02:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sev84/pain_killers_while_restricting/
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Does anyone have experience taking painkillers while restricting? I went to the doctor yesterday for back issues and they gave me Vicodin, Flexeril, and some steroids. The flexeril and steroids I can take just fine without eating much but the Vicodin makes me completely miserable if I haven't eaten. Yesterday I binged like 2000 calories after I took it because I needed something in my stomach. Has anyone else had this issue? Is there a way to take it without having to eat everything? I tried even taking a half a pill but still felt like I was going to pass out and got super hot and dizzy and ended up eating. Thank you!
[Other] Does anyone play roblox?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:37:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sep0r/does_anyone_play_roblox/
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I know its such a weird topic but i'm lonely and want some friends. Its a really good distraction for when your hungry so if anyone does play, you should PM me your username (Please don't delete my post its kinda on topic ish)
[Rant/Rave] |Rave| So uh, this just happened
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:33:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6senv3/rave_so_uh_this_just_happened/
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http://imgur.com/3Vscfbo
[Other] Meet ups?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6semho/meet_ups/
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Hey someone posted the thing about wanting to have IRL eating disordered friends. I was wondering if this community has ever done a meetup by location or anything? How did it go? I would definitely be interested in something like this
[Tip] Halo top at aldi for $3.89!
/u/acidfairy [5'4" | CW: 133 | GW: 115 | -45 | 24F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:23:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6seldk/halo_top_at_aldi_for_389/
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http://imgur.com/a/9QtSw
Best appetite suppressant?
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:21:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sekw9/best_appetite_suppressant/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] HANDED IN MY MASTER'S THESIS AND MET MY GW A MONTH EARLY!!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57 | 19.05/18.82 | GW:<57 by 4/9 | UGW:<55 by 4/9 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:21:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sekvv/handed_in_my_masters_thesis_and_met_my_gw_a_month/
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Technically I handed in yesterday but I haven't been home until today since I spent the day yesterday at FWB's house. Just weighed myself after a full day and I'm officially 57 kg. Next stop, 55 (or 54)!
[Rant/Rave] Karen Carpenter
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Tue Aug 8 10:05:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6segyb/karen_carpenter/
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Such an incredible singer. Someone mentioned her in a thread and I realized that I grew up singing her music and listening to my mom sing it. The Carpenters music has been such a big part of my life and all this time I knew she died because of heart failure due to anorexia but it really didn't hit me til now how huge that is that I struggle with an eating disorder so much and she DIED because of hers.
It's really freaking depressing.
[Discussion] What do you do after you have a morning binge?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Tue Aug 8 09:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sebax/what_do_you_do_after_you_have_a_morning_binge/
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It's not even noon and I've already had: a Gatorade (140), 2 snickers (500), a kit kat (210), chips (220), and peanut butter crackers (250). Not my worst binge but still bad for (especially cause I still have the rest of my day)
I'm going to the gym tonight with a friend so that will help offset the binge, but what do you guys do for the rest of the day to fix the damage?
[Rant/Rave] My boss and I were talking today about BMIs
/u/burningthroughtime
Created: Tue Aug 8 09:12:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6se416/my_boss_and_i_were_talking_today_about_bmis/
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And she said she doesn't believe in BMI because she thinks they're bullshit because labels such as underweight, overweight, obese don't match with the looks. Then she said 'if I were to take the BMIs as being accurate and based on looks only I would say that you are anorexic, but you aren't'. Of course I said 'but I'm not, I don't look like I am anorexic'. And she said 'yes, you do. So that's why labels are stupid'.
I'm nowhere near my goal weight, I'm still fucking fat... But I'm confused about how I should feel about what she said.
[Discussion] what are your food rules?
/u/misterrazorz [159 | 44.4 | 17.9 | a]
Created: Tue Aug 8 08:35:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdvgs/what_are_your_food_rules/
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i wonder. are other people's more to do with calories restriction or controlling macros? in short i personally eat low-carb vegan between hours 1000 to 1600. please comment yours below? thanks
[Discussion] [discussion] dae sometimes wish they had a friend to struggle with
/u/lowkeydeadinside
Created: Tue Aug 8 08:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdof2/discussion_dae_sometimes_wish_they_had_a_friend/
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i just read letting ana go and tbh all i want is a friend like jill. i feel like i could never ever encourage a friend to put themselves through this but i want someone to encourage *me* not to eat. i want someone to celebrate my little victories with. i want someone to shop for weird low calorie food with. i want someone who tells me i'm eating too much. idk, i'm rambling and i feel dumb but does anyone else feel this way?
[Help] Those who take biotin?
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 8 07:56:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdmxj/those_who_take_biotin/
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(Tldr at bottom of text)
Hi! My hair has been falling out in clumps and getting wiry and brittle. So I've gotten Biotin pills at the highest dose I can find in my country which is 600mcg. The daily dosage is labeled 1 pill a day but the pharmacist told me I should probably take 3-4 pills a day.
Then I found biotin in US has like 10,000 mcg??
If it helps, I'm taking multivitamins (no biotin in this), fish oil, evening primrose oil, probiotics daily and sometimes an additional iron supplement
tldr: I'm confused about dosage of biotin. Anyone can help me with this? Or just share your experience with biotin with me. Thanks!!
[Discussion] Anyone else scared that they will lose motivation?
/u/fatbatch
Created: Tue Aug 8 07:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdgub/anyone_else_scared_that_they_will_lose_motivation/
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So I've been trying to restrict a lot recently, mostly because I can't bear to eat if I feel fat. However this weekend I had a massive four day binge and now I feel like giving up. I'm so scared that I will just give up, gain loads of weight back, then start again in a month and keep cycling. I wish I didn't crave food. I wish I just didn't want to eat. I wish I was SKINNY.
[Rant/Rave] I never feel more alive than when I'm fasting.
/u/flyingmonkeyssaymoo
Created: Tue Aug 8 07:05:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sdcb2/i_never_feel_more_alive_than_when_im_fasting/
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Eating anything makes me depressed because it always turns into a binge. I only have 100 or 0. Not eating is fine by me. Wellbutrin makes it so I'm not hungry anyway. And I'm on the second day of my 5 day fast (at least that's what I'm trying for I've only done 2.75 days before) and I'm so happy. I'm listening to music, getting a reasonable amount of sleep, feel more confident and happy. I did my chores yesterday and lived my life. BUT WHY THE FUCK CANT I JUST EAT LIKE A FUCKING NORMAL PERSON. I have an appt on Thursday for intake for a binge eating group that runs for 8 weeks starting in September.
[Discussion] Juice Cleanse?
/u/foxlatte [5'9" | cw: 185.2 | bmi: 26.9 | gw: 130 | 21f]
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:52:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd9ot/juice_cleanse/
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has anyone here done a juice cleanse?? a friend of mine is going to do one for 2 weeks and idk it sounds interesting
[Rant/Rave] ...at least I have more time to focus on my ED.
/u/Broken_Glass_Kid
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd8cf/at_least_i_have_more_time_to_focus_on_my_ed/
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My boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue, in a text message, 10 minutes before I left for work. He blocked my number, and all social media accounts. He had a mutual friend tell me that if I went to his house, he'd call the police. Idk why this happened. An hour before all this he was telling me how much he loved me.
I'm devastated, but it fuels my ED. And now I can focus on that and I dont have to pretend to eat when we go out.
[Discussion] August 8th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd7iq/august_8th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Do you make enough money?
Edit: I'm so excited at the response to this one! I was afraid nobody would want to discuss money because it's awkward, but since we're all pretty much anonymous anyway, who cares? Plus, some of our money problems *cough me* stem from our EDs or something related, like BED or mental health issues. I'm glad this opened up some conversation!
[Rant/Rave] Why am I so obsessed with the scale?
/u/sassygillie
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:33:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd6a5/why_am_i_so_obsessed_with_the_scale/
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Last week I ate everything in sight and gained a ton of weight. I had an epiphany (wow, sassygillie, your face is fucking huge) and started restricting again. I came back from the night shift feeling light and airy for the first time in weeks. I decide to hop on the scale and its down 5 pounds down from yesterday! (def 100% water weight). Then, I remember I haven't had a BM in a while-- I could get the number down even more by the end of the day! Cue my delightful ED-fueled self tearing my house apart to find laxatives I definitely hid somewhere.
My house is a disaster, I'm crying because I found a picture of skinny me from high school, and I really really need to sleep.
Well, at least I can poop now.
[Help] Why do my pedometers suck??
/u/082616
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd3yk/why_do_my_pedometers_suck/
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I finally set up not one, but two, pedometers. They suck. First, any movement and they add a step. I mean just shake it for a second and it adds 5 steps. It's loud. It rattles. Like something inside is broken and every one can hear it. What's weird is that one of them is new, $5 (I'm a cheap ass) from Walmart. Help??
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:10:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd24h/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_08_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:10:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd23p/daily_food_diary_august_08_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for August 08, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] DAE get told they're thin or too thin when they are just a normal weight?
/u/PrettyGirlsDontEat
Created: Tue Aug 8 06:01:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sd0dx/dae_get_told_theyre_thin_or_too_thin_when_they/
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Sorry about this rant I just needed to get this out of my system to people that understand.
I was always a bit large growing up. Throughout middle school and high school I was slightly overweight. Then after high school I gained hard. Up to 250 pounds. I don't know if my flair is visible but it hasn't been updated in a while. I'm currently 5'8 and I weighed in just now at 138 after water fasting for 32 hours. My lowest weight was only 135.5. This is a healthy weight by Americas standards yet I'm always told I look very thin by everyone. Not even just family that hasn't seen my in a while, like people I work with who have only seen me at 150 and lower. I'm only about 15 pounds from being considered overweight and 18 pounds from being underweight.
Is it just because so many Americans are overweight that seeing someone that is a healthy weight is completely bizzare or what? I'm by no means thin. 138 is nowhere near my goal. What will people say if I actually hit my first goal at 120? Or if I make it to my ugw at 100? My mom said yesterday that I look "anorexic" as if that was a weight classification. I have so much fat everywhere, stomach, thighs, arms, neck, butt (especially butt). Do "normies" just not see it? My cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, they all say I need to stop losing weight and I'm getting too thin. I don't see these as compliments, I see this as a lie. I see it as people just not knowing what being healthy looks like. They can't see what I see. I barely fit into a medium and I'm wearing size 8 jeans.
And there's this girl I work with that is total thinspo. She's 5'1 90 pounds. Total fucking perfection. I wish i could be that short or have her bone structure. But most people actually would consider our BMIs to be about the same. People think we are as thin as each other. No we aren't the same. She snacks all day at work on the worst shit. Today was sour gummy worms from 7-11. 381 calories. For her snack. I could eat that much a day but she just snacks on 381 calories like it's nothing. Or she will eat something like munchies. She loves munchies. But 140 calories per serving??? And 8 servings per bag?????? That's 1120 calories. That's like 2-3 days worth of food. How do you just eat that and not think twice about what you're ingesting. Like I had 500 calories once on a day I was supposed to be fasting and almost immediately purged after. I can't even fathom how you just don't care about what you eat. I'm always concerned and I always feel like shit after eating something i shouldn't have.
Again sorry for this huge rant I just really really needed to talk about this right now. It's been in my head for days and then my mom brings up that anorexic comment. As if I even qualify for anorexia anyway. Maybe wannarexia.
[Rant/Rave] Personal life shit is shit and idk whether its helping me lose weight or if it's my new medication
/u/chloelouiise
Created: Tue Aug 8 04:47:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6scotg/personal_life_shit_is_shit_and_idk_whether_its/
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Fuck, where do I even begin?
Work is stressful af (yay for PhDs!), I'm trying to work out how I'm going to move all my shit from one side of the city where I live (yay for moving) and my love life is a complete shit show.
First of all, I find out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with his ex (she didn't know about me). I'm fucking distraught about that because I love him more than anything in the world. And he loves his ex more than he ever loved me.
They're no longer together. And the kicker? She left him and he has the audacity to come to me for support because he has no one else except his parents. I'm the only fucking person who knows everything about him doing what he did and he's asking me to help him get over her. So not only do I feel like the most inadequate person in the world, it really has not helped my depression, anxiety or body dysmorphia.
The weird thing is that in this situation I would definitely binge my fucking face off. 100% takeaways and sweets, chocolate, crisps, ice cream. Basically, if its edible, its in my mouth and I want it now.
But, I've not even hungry 99% of the time. I'm on 40mgs of prozac a day, which is meant to help with bingeing, but still, I didn't expect this level.
I'm sorry, I just wanted to rant about this because I can't talk to my friends about it. This is the most supportive place I know. I love you guys to bits.
Also, I wish we had halo top in the UK. I would be living on that shit right now.
[Rant/Rave] Nutella Nemesis
/u/carolineeo [5'7" | 101.8 | 16 | 22F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 02:37:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sc701/nutella_nemesis/
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Lol my three younger sisters came back from camping with a large jar of nutella. Someone kill me. Living at home with my family for the summer has released the binge monster and I don't even recognize myself anymore. Two more weeks until I go back to living alone and restricting so hard.
[Discussion] DAE track the highest* weight of the day?
/u/selkieb [5'3 | 112 | 21 BMI | LW 80 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sc03r/dae_track_the_highest_weight_of_the_day/
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Edit: typos
Was interested in weighing habits and was reading through some older related threads on here. A lot of the community (at least a year ago) track their lowest weights...in the morning, after peeing, etc.
Maybe it's the masochist in me (she's a bitch), but since I started messing around with this kind of shit, I would weigh myself 2x--right after my last meal and then right before bed and NEVER naked.
At my most ridiculous, I would weigh myself after workouts in a huge sweatshirt and sneakers.
Usually, though, it's just my pjs but the diff with the "real" # can be .5 - 2 lbs.
It's like my cushion. It keeps me from getting too bent out of shape when the number is scary. When that happens, I'll weigh myself the next morning to see how serious the damage was--and then it motivates me throughout the day.
I only ask because tonight I weighed myself naked and got excited and wanted to update my banner, then thought--no, you need that cushion for when you fuck up again.
Also, it feels like a double win when I hit a goal with some clothing on.
Just curious--also would love to hear your weighing habits again in general since it seems to no longer be a recent topic!
[Help] My period just came again after ending 2 weeks ago, should this be a cause for concern?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:39:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbzjk/my_period_just_came_again_after_ending_2_weeks/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Honest thoughts
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:33:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbys9/honest_thoughts/
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Me: wtf I can just work out and lose weight wtf do I purge for I'm giving myself acid reflux and I'm harming teeth fml
Me a second later: idk I think purging really helps me not gain weight and I dunno if I can handle gaining weight fml
[Other] restriction styles
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbyh6/restriction_styles/
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Survey time!
What is your restriction style? Do you try to do keto? Low-carb? Intermittent fasting? All your calories in one go? Small frequent meals? Meal plan? Only eating in front of others? Never eating in front of others? Just fasting as long as you can? Eat slowly? Eat it all quickly? Liquid calories? Do you worry about protein? Nutrients? Do you cycle your intake? Only safe foods?
Just kind of curious what everyone else does. I've noticed my restricting practices have changed since I have started to chew/swallow/purge more. Now when I'm keeping a meal down I want to make sure it's nutritious and protein rich whereas back in the day I felt like a winner because I could have whatever junk I wanted as long as I was under my goal.
[Help] Fell off, need help back on.
/u/ThinIsLoveIsMe
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:27:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbxuu/fell_off_need_help_back_on/
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[removed]
[Humor] Hah-oh wait that's accurate
/u/ImMissBrightside
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:26:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbxpc/hahoh_wait_thats_accurate/
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https://i.imgur.com/TkXbRjY.jpg
[Other] Peach thread?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:18:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbwkh/peach_thread/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I love "before and after"s
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 01:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbwi0/i_love_before_and_afters/
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I've always loved the idea of someone not seeing me for a while, and then I lose a bunch of weight and get all done up, and then when they see me they're surprised. Well, my boyfriend is on a business trip--he left this morning and he comes back Friday. I've going to do a protein fast and lose as much as possible of the 10lb I gained this month. I've also waited out on waxing my eyebrows for 6 weeks. I've been feeling shitty about myself so I haven't been wearing as much makeup as usual or dressing as nice (haven't worn a crop top in over a month :( ). I'm touching up with some teeth whitening strips. And I'll try to think of something else!
I want him to come back and think "wow," like he's going to miss me already after a week but I want to pop. I'm excited 😁
[Other] I FINALLY broke my binge!!!
/u/Profeshed [5'6 | 141 | GW: 118 | WG +10 | 26F]
Created: Tue Aug 8 00:22:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbolr/i_finally_broke_my_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate yogurt now :((
/u/shoqer [154cm | CW: 38kg | BMI 16.2| GW: lower | 21y/o]
Created: Tue Aug 8 00:15:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbnp7/i_hate_yogurt_now/
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I'm on mobile so I don't know how to flair my post.
I was a yogurt addict. I could eat yogurt every day (and most of the time it was the only thing that I ate though...). I tried all the types of yogurt in the stores. I loved its sourness and creaminess.
Until today.
I must accept that I'm lactose intolerant and despite lactose in yogurt is not as much as milk, it's still there...
Now I'm super bloated. My stomach hurts. I have been spending hours in the toilet, vomiting all the yogurt out. And it is GROSS. I mean it. The taste, the texture, everything :((((
But I can't stop vomiting. The more I vomit, the grossier my mouth feels and the more I want to vomit...
Goodbye yogurt.
One more favorite food becoming fear food...
My list of "edible" things is getting shorter and shorter. Which is nice, I guess. Because sometimes when I don't know what to eat, I will just, not eat anything.
[Help] Headache
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 23:43:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbirb/headache/
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[removed]
[Help] binge aftercare?
/u/siamesealmeidaa [height:5'6" | CW:102lbs | BMI:16.5| weight lost:35lb | gender:F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 23:08:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbda3/binge_aftercare/
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I ate I'm excess all day today (like every fucking weekend lmfao). I'm so bloated, my stomach is hard and protruding. I feel terrible and I know the gain will be bad. does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do tomorrow and the rest of the week to "recover" from this? any advice is appreciated. 💗
[Discussion] How does daily calorie needs work?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 23:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sbc4e/how_does_daily_calorie_needs_work/
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[removed]
[Other] I kind of had an epiphany today.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 21:48:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6saz5a/i_kind_of_had_an_epiphany_today/
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Half my clothes don't fit anymore. My dresses dont hug my waist, they're loose, my skirts don't hug my ass, they're loose because my belly fat is gone.
I realized that I genuinely like my body now. I don't want to be just skin and bones. But I can't stop. I made myself eat 1400 calories today, 600 under my TDEE but a decent amount, because I know I need to live and I need to be decently healthy.
I want to recover but I'm scared. I hate feeling full. I don't want to gain weight. I want my tiny flat stomach when it's empty not the fat, rotund tummy full of food. Sigh. Idk what to do
[Rant/Rave] I was so excited to actually meet up with a guy tonight for the first time since the sexual assault. I was ready to try to get past it. And of course I got cancelled on.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 21:46:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sayqv/i_was_so_excited_to_actually_meet_up_with_a_guy/
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It's been almost a month since I've even gone out with a guy or spent time with one alone. That night was July 15th. I was done with guys done with sex done with all of it. But then a hot guy from work and I made plans for tonight and he ended up cancelling so.. there goes probably my last chance until I go to college. Sigh. Life is disappointing
[Rant/Rave] I hate my ugly face
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Mon Aug 7 21:27:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sav6z/i_hate_my_ugly_face/
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Whats the point of worrying about calories when i have such a stupid face
anyone else feel like this? i'm just gonna go bake some cookies
[Goal] Dating and weight loss goals...reversed.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Mon Aug 7 20:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6salsc/dating_and_weight_loss_goalsreversed/
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I have a date on Friday. The heading is probably weird for this sub. I'm planning to halt the weight loss for a bit. I know it's kind of different than typical stuff posted here but I feel so much support here and feel comfortable sharing.
But I feel more ok with my weight gain over this past week. I think I might try to eat normally and not restrict as much because well, I do better with food when I'm dating.
I love feeling my spine and hips from the back, but normally I am isolated and plan to do the whole dying thing so there is no incentive to stop. But I can't live in illness and have a fulfilling life. I need some damage control. I still like feeling underweight but objectively I think I'm unattractive at this weight.
More than anything in this world, I just want to love and be loved. That's the only thing worth being healthy for...
I know it is just a first date but I am thankful that I am feeling this way. I had a hard weekend, was a bad friend, ate part of my contact lens and ourged at a friend's house while dog sitting. I want my life to be different.
Maybe this date won't go anywhere, but at least it gave me a glimmer of hope outside of dying from this illness. I haven't dated in two years...
[Discussion] Adam ruins weight loss
/u/idontknowletsmoveon
Created: Mon Aug 7 19:47:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sabpx/adam_ruins_weight_loss/
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Adam ruins everything: weight loss. Season 2. Episode 2. Anyone watch this? Thoughts? Feelings? I don't even know what's up right now omg
[Intro] I'm a disaster
/u/spiritanimalryuk [5'2 | CW 130 | HW 150+ | -25 | 22F | GW 115 | UGW 100]
Created: Mon Aug 7 19:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sa89s/im_a_disaster/
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[Rant and Intro]
Long time lurker; first time poster. Thank you guys for being such a supportive community - you have really helped me as I obsessively read every post and can relate in a way that I can't IRL.
Just wanted to post because I feel like shit and I feel like at the very least someone here can relate. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time but finally seeked help over the last couple months which has been super helpful.
I've struggled with weight and food for a long time. When I get into a depressive episode I usually gain a SHIT ton of weight. This most recent time I stopped weighing myself because I hit 150 and was terrified of the scale. I lost 15+ pounds in a relatively healthy manner... I've lost the last 5 pounds by eating under 600 kcal for the last 2 weeks. But of course that ended in me binging. Eating an entire package of Annie's mac and cheese then half a pack of meatballs along with some vodka then purging the whole lot. Then making popcorn and eating that.
I am trying my best to be "healthy" but it is so difficult. I moved back in with my parents for a little bit to help me get back on my feet and it's difficult because I feel like I constantly self sabotage- they don't know about my food struggles, only My depression and anxiety because I now longer could hide it and needed help. My dad just had a heart attack so they are super supportive of my "healthy" eating and I constantly talk about the new healthy eating I've been doing and they whole heartidly just want me to be healthy. Meanwhile here I am pretending like I'm eating like a normal human and getting healthy but I'm freaking out about the food they make for me because I can't count the calories accurately and trying to not start purging regularly. And I've just told them certain foods make me naseasous and that I'll make my own food....
Well... I guess that's about it for now. Hi everyone!
[Rant/Rave] CSA
/u/SamPlaid [5'4" | 107 | 18.7 |GW:85 | female]
Created: Mon Aug 7 18:54:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6sa10e/csa/
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Soooo maybe it's a bit of a stereotype (To The Bone even made a sorta joke about it) but I was sexually abused when I was young. Like really young. All of my care providers have said I need to deal with this and some have even thought it is the whole root of my problems. I was wondering if anyone had had similar experiences, and if they have found a way to address it? I'm 22 and I've never been in a serious relationship :/
i'm such a bitch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 18:30:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9w2u/im_such_a_bitch/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend accidentally said the wrong thing today
/u/laurdoor [5'7 | 130lbs | 20.4 | -10 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 18:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9rqf/my_boyfriend_accidentally_said_the_wrong_thing/
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First of all, hi, this is actually my first post but I'm a long-time lurker and I know you guys will get this... so I was Skyping my boyfriend after a long day at work and a mess of a dinner with my family. He is always incredibly supportive, sweet, and understanding to me, and I know he didn't mean what he said the way I heard it, but once it was out there I knew immediately it was one of those things that I would hear everytime I look in the mirror for the forseeable future.
Basically, my family had one of those extremely ineffective dinner interventions where they all comment on what/how much I'm eating and that I look skinny (when I'm still agonizingly far from it). You all know the drill...
I told him about it, and that it upset me especially because I'm at a very "healthy" BMI and have been much smaller in the past so I don't know why they would even say that, and he says "Yeah babe, you're not even close to skinny!"
And there's my motivation to start my next fast.
[Discussion] A weird wish
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 17:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9kdc/a_weird_wish/
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In September I'll be moving in to my residence at college, and I'll have 4 roommates. It's kind of like a little apartment, we each have our own room but share a kitchen and living room and a couple lil bathrooms along our hallway. Seriously, just an apartment.
Anyways, I'm lowkey hoping one of the girls or guys will be like, overweight because last year it was an entire house of skinny /attractive people and I hated myself so so much. I lived with one of my friends and we're not even friends anymore.... But that's a different story.
Anyways I seriously just kinda hope I live with some kinda ickier people? I know that's SO BITCHY to even think
would anyone be interested in starting an ana group chat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s9bbl/would_anyone_be_interested_in_starting_an_ana/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Lol here's my motivation for the next few months
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:31:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s96dl/lol_heres_my_motivation_for_the_next_few_months/
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I recently ordered some stuff from H&M, and I got a cute denim miniskirt. I'm usually a zero but it was out of stock so I got a 2, and I was like "Oh it'll be fine whatever"
IT'S ALMOST TOO TIGHT. what the fuck. I can't deal with the thought of me being that big.
Recently I was thinking about doing more "healthy high restriction" so like 900 a day.
heeeeellll nah now
My goal is to make this skirt too loose
[Rant/Rave] Allowed myself to Eat Normally™ for a month and back to 142/feeling like I'll never be thin
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 141.8 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:29:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s961o/allowed_myself_to_eat_normally_for_a_month_and/
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From 132-142 in about 3 weeks, woohoo good for me 🙃
Feeling sooooo discouraged because before this I hadn't binged or gone over my calorie counts for 2 whole months and I just feel like I completely ruined it. I thought I could handle eating normally and trusting when I was full but no, day 2 and I was sneaking off to buy peanut m&ms to eat in the bathroom.
Ugh I feel like I'll never be thin because I clearly don't know how to be normal. I only know how to restrict and binge. Does anyone else feel this way? I am just so freaking upset and can't seem to snap back into restriction mode. Off to go cry :'(
[Rant/Rave] I don't know why I keep buying peanut butter
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 16:09:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s919q/i_dont_know_why_i_keep_buying_peanut_butter/
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I KNOW I won't be able to stop after one toast. I KNOW I'll pass by the kitchen several times just to "smell it". I KNOW I won't weigh it before eating it and accidentally eat 500 calories worh of it because it is *that fucking dense*. I KNOW I'll choke on it like a dumbass because I can't eat a regular amount at a time.
And damn you particularly, crunchy peanut butter. Now I don't know how popular it is in the peanut butter fandom, but damn it I love you so much it hurts.
[Rant/Rave] A friend called me skinny!!
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Mon Aug 7 15:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8lts/a_friend_called_me_skinny/
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A friend (who's way skinnier than me) got drunk a few days back at a festival where we were (which I've been mentioning a Lot in my other posts lately woops). She is the type of person who starts being really honest and stating her opinions when drunk, which has led her to problems a few times for hurting someone's feelings and all, but on that day it was a blessing - she started to say things like 'you've lost SO much weight, you're so skinny now' and stuff like that.
And there I was standing, still bloated from a binge, dizzy from not eating all day, but feeling the best I've ever felt. I've been stressing so much about gaining two pounds over summer, but her comment made me feel better I've felt in ages and it gave me new motivation - today is second day in a row under 500 calories, tomorrow will be the third. I feel good. I've missed this feeling. I hope this feeling will last. I hope your days have been good. <3
[Discussion] A positive thread: What little accomplishments have you done that you want to share.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 15:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8l1t/a_positive_thread_what_little_accomplishments/
---
Ed-related or not. It's easy to get caught in a rabbit hole of negativity or even plain numbness. We all need reminding that even the littlest accomplishments are still accomplishments.
[Humor] So my student drew this..... I feel so attacked rn
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Mon Aug 7 14:59:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8k5x/so_my_student_drew_this_i_feel_so_attacked_rn/
---
https://i.redd.it/x1acdwlmqdez.jpg
[Discussion] Intermittent Fasting and Binge Eating
/u/Livinglifelite
Created: Mon Aug 7 14:40:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s8fk9/intermittent_fasting_and_binge_eating/
---
Do you use fasting to combat binge eating ever? If so, what has been your outcome?
[Rant/Rave] "Can I have one?"
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:44:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s81fx/can_i_have_one/
---
No, no you can not have one of my gummies. There are 180 calories per package and I have one whole package for ME, not for you. You eating a gummy would mean me recalculating how many gummies are in the entire package minus what you ate and figuring out how many calories that makes.
"Oh they're just nasty protein gummies. Never mind."
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo. (Sorry for my absence)
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:38:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7zzn/daily_thinspo_sorry_for_my_absence/
---
https://i.redd.it/6wx9d0c5cdez.jpg
[Help] Why so shaky?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:18:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7v2l/why_so_shaky/
---
I woke up feeling kinda iffy, felt like I was gonna puke (not the full i'm gonna puke but the I haven't eaten i'm gonna puke) so I drank water and it went away. Then my hands starting shaking a lot and I feel like every thing is shaking and its really weird. I drank some coffee to try and calm down (Its always made me relax oddly enough) and now i've stopped shaking. But why does that happen?
[Rant/Rave] I hate eating in front of fam&friends!!
/u/Rofliey
Created: Mon Aug 7 13:14:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7u0x/i_hate_eating_in_front_of_famfriends/
---
Ugh. Currently going to meet my mom and brother at a taco place and. I. Can't. Stop. My. Anxiety. I don't know what I'm going to do, I feel like I'm going hyperventilate any moment now.
Also I told my husband and brother in law that i just haven't been that hungry these days and now they won't stop pestering me to eat!!! I just want to cry and lock myself away. I can't tho cause I have to adult right now :(
[Other] Chew and spit, I didn't miss you and other reflections
/u/19thcentlord
Created: Mon Aug 7 12:12:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s7eoh/chew_and_spit_i_didnt_miss_you_and_other/
---
I have finally been back on my meds long enough to even out which means I haven't been isolating which means meals with other humans. Chew and spit is now necessary again and is making me feel so wasteful and gross.
All that time isolated spoiled me in certain ways.
A few other fun items:
I have two burns on my knuckles from being a fatass about garlic bread that was still in the oven at a friend's dinner party. Last week she caught me filling up my water bottle with liquor in her kitchen but that's so preferable to her having seen me burn my fingers (twice) to get at some garlic bread.
Also, someone left 5 cupcakes here yesterday. I live alone. "The devil is liar!" is what I'm telling myself to keep away from those bad boys.
[Other] Way to relatable
/u/Zaomi [172 cm | BMI: 19.80 | GW: 55kg | HW: 67 kg | 21F |]
Created: Mon Aug 7 11:39:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s761f/way_to_relatable/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HHrv5C0C3o
[Discussion] Am I the only one who uses anime/video game girls as inspiration?
/u/Trinkets-Baubles [5'3 | 155 | 28.22 | 15 | F | UGW 110]
Created: Mon Aug 7 11:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s70to/am_i_the_only_one_who_uses_animevideo_game_girls/
---
They're usually unobtainable proportions, but *always* look so thin, curvy, and petite. Like, recently Cindy from the new FF is *so* cute! Shes thin, in good shape fitness wise, and I reckon she's quick as a whip! There's lots of cosplay of her, so the weight is obtainable, and looks really good! I guess it should read more as "cosplay for thinspo" but... well, whatever.
So, dae?
>on mobile cant flare babes, discussion me
>>
Curse the desktop site for bringing me *back to mobile*, because I forgot my app was there.🙃
[Tip] Weight loss prizes
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Mon Aug 7 11:14:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6zmj/weight_loss_prizes/
---
So I have never tried this before. I've always been hesitant to set goals at all because I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure (I have some self esteem issues clearly). But I'm doing it this time around and it's really helpful!
So I've decided when I lose my first 20 lb, I'm going to my favorite restaurant to eat whatever I want and get drunk. And so now whenever I think of binging, or drinking, I am reminded that I'm putting off my favorite restaurant for chips or whatever. Whenever I think of drinking I am reminded how it always leads to binging either that night, or the next day when I'm hungover, and it's just putting off the drunken night that I will *deserve* soon enough.
I used to just go as hard as I could with no end goal in sight. It used to work for me but recently when I've tried it I've burnt out fast. Having this goal in mind, and a prize that will be well-earned is making it all so much easier.
Just wanted to share with you all because I am restricting relatively easily for the first time in months and it feels so good to not feel like I'm constantly failing anymore
[Discussion] Does anyone else lose weight from using Bronkaid, but doesn't get the appetite suppressant effects?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 10:50:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6tjs/does_anyone_else_lose_weight_from_using_bronkaid/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hoard cucumbers as if they are sacred objects.
/u/DeadandPrettyUs
Created: Mon Aug 7 10:35:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6pzx/i_hoard_cucumbers_as_if_they_are_sacred_objects/
---
I almost never end up eating them. I love cucumber, but once I have one in my possession I keep it safe until it spoils and then sadly throw it in the trash without eating it. Every time I think about eating it I decide that no, it must be saved for a special occasion. They cost 50 fucking cents. Why do I do this.
[Discussion] ED support group nerves
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:37:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6azo/ed_support_group_nerves/
---
Please tag either rant or discussion, mods, at your discretion.
Found a support group for tonight.
Sort of considering going.
I absolutely don't look like the traditional image of an ED sufferer--I'm not remotely underweight--and I don't really want to be surrounded by a bunch of skinny, successful people. I'd feel like a faker.
Anyone know what support groups are usually like?
[Discussion] Question about your best low
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:35:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s6akg/question_about_your_best_low/
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Sort of misleading. When I say "low" I mean your best lowest weight, and how you got there.
Most of us have a cycle we go through and I was wondering about what made you feel the best. Were you especially active? Did you try going vegetarian/vegan? Clean eating? Stretching? Fasting?
Looking back on your ED history, which road did you go down once upon a time (or even hopefully now) that you felt great about, where you were losing weight AND feeling content (or at least closest to it).
I Let the binge win :(
/u/DirtyxVans [5'5 | CW 151 | GW110 | TF]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:30:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s69fw/i_let_the_binge_win/
---
[removed]
[Help] When should I take my EC stack before working out so it's most effective?
/u/cry1000x [5'5" | 131 lbs | 22 BMI | F | Vegan 🌿 ]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:28:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s68uy/when_should_i_take_my_ec_stack_before_working_out/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binge/Restrict Cycle
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:05:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s63gx/bingerestrict_cycle/
---
I have been stuck in a binge restrict cycle since March :(
This week from Tuesday- Sunday I ate between 975 - 1400 calories (High Restriction) and was feeling great and then today 3000+ calories, my whole weeks work ruined, this has been going on for so long I am sick of this shit.
[Other] I know it's just an ad for a show, and I know it's just me being overly-sensitive, but I really hate seeing this all over my FB >:(
/u/humandumpsterfire [5'8" | 140 | 22.7 | -40 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 09:04:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s638i/i_know_its_just_an_ad_for_a_show_and_i_know_its/
---
https://i.redd.it/gw4i9erfybez.png
[Discussion] There are people starving within walking distance from where I'm staying
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5xww/there_are_people_starving_within_walking_distance/
---
(Discussion flair please, thank you mods <3)
My family is on vacation in Africa, and we're staying in a tiny mountain village at the moment. This morning, we went walking and saw a starving man going through somebody's trash looking for food. It just makes me so sad that I waste all this perfectly good nutritious food, and there are people who couldn't eat it if they wanted to.
I wish there were a way for me to take all my discarded food to people who are in need of it. I should probably feel guilty about the food I waste, but I really don't. My oatmeal this morning wouldn't have gone to feed the hungry; whether I made it & threw it away, or left it in the packet. It's just ironic to me that these two radically different sets of problems can exist at the same time, starvation on both sides but for totally different reasons.
[Humor] One Time Use Only!
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:34:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5w4x/one_time_use_only/
---
Ate a bit of rice this morning while a friend had something else.
I saw the food coming out of the microwave. It looked terrible anyway, tasted like nothing.
Friend took a look at my food, said it was the worst thing he'd ever seen.
10 minutes later. I feel terrible for wasting calories on crap like this, I gotta purge, man.
So I tell him the food's bad, it's making me sick and I gotta go throw up.
"Food poisoning? Yeah man it happens."
Eheheheh. Can't use that line again though.
[Other] Small Freakout/Progress (?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:17:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5skh/small_freakoutprogress/
---
[deleted]
[Other] I am SO. FUCKING. SICK. of receiving creepy messages from guys. Do I really need to have a separate account to post on other subs?? This is getting out of hand!!!
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5s0l/i_am_so_fucking_sick_of_receiving_creepy_messages/
---
I fucking hate getting these messages that are like "would it help if I said you're hot, would that make you feel better?" Or "well you're not tiny but you're not big either if that helps" like GEE THANK YOU, YOU CALLING ME HOT JUST CURED MY FUCKING EATING DISORDER 1000% BUDDY!!!! LIKE NO, FUCK OFF. I have a tinder I hear I'm hot every goddamn DAY I don't give a FUCK what you think of me and me knowing I'm attractive doesn't do shit for my fucking ED
[Rant/Rave] Weird jealousy/what is wrong with me
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | 👽]
Created: Mon Aug 7 08:13:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5rqh/weird_jealousywhat_is_wrong_with_me/
---
TL;DR: I have issues being around other people
Okay so, this morning one of my housemates was eating one of those silk non-dairy yogurt things, which I LOVE because they are low calorie, tasty, and vegan. She's not a vegan so my mind immediately jumped to thinking she was eating it because it's low calorie. She lost a bit of weight recently, was never really overweight but looks AMAZING, so of course my fucking ed makes me competitive about it. My boyfriend says she's not even close to my size but to me it seems like she's way thinner so body dysmorphia and fucking jealous competing with my best friends is the fucking worst, but I digress. Back to the yogurt. I got so mad that she was eating something low calorie for breakfast and worried that she was gonna get thinner than me, but here's the kicker-- I had shirataki noodles for breakfast. That's right, I ate 30 calories and she ate 180 calories and I was PISSED because it felt like she ate LESS. And I love this girl to fucking death, I hate that my disorder does this to me.
And while I'm ranting about housemates, I've got one from my obese housemate too(I've posted about her before). Yesterday she posted this picture of her journal on facebook and instagram that included, clearly readable, 2 days of her food log in which she has spaces set aside for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks. She had super clearly marked lunch blank, like blatantly obviously "LOOK I SKIPPED A MEAL," but both of her snacks both days were literally bigger meals than the others. Seriously, for one day she "skipped" lunch, her "snack" was a large basket of fries(I was with her), a milkshake, and potato chips. Like, she just wants people to think she is skipping meals and give her attention, without actually eating less? Maybe I take issue with this because I want so badly to hide my eating habits and make sure no one is worried, so I can lose more. I dunno, does this seem unreasonable for me to get worked up about? She's so triggering and I feel like it clouds my judgement. She is also one of my best friends and I hate feeling this way.
[Rant/Rave] Gained 10 pounds in one week...
/u/sassygillie
Created: Mon Aug 7 07:45:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5lr7/gained_10_pounds_in_one_week/
---
Hi, I'm a (mostly) lurker who has decided to take this weight loss thing seriously. I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, since I am definitely heavier than most people in this sub. Warning: this is going to be long, so skip to the bottom for the tl;dr if you want.
I was diagnosed with EDNOS when I was a kid (11 years old) and battled with it until age 18. I was in and out of inpatient programs through high school and in college I finally decided to recover. Well, that went the opposite way and I am now 15-20 pounds overweight per BMI guidelines. I lost a few pounds a couple weeks ago due to sickness. I'm usually on ADHD meds 24/7 which mostly curbs my appetite. However, I've been struggling to pick up the prescription and haven't been taking it in like a week and a half. In that time, I've gone full binge and gained 10 fucking pounds!!!
I am picking up the prescription today and I'm going to fix this and hopefully lose the rest of the weight I've put on since recovery. Has anyone else ever gained a lot of weight after a long binge-fest. How long did it take you to lose it? Right now, I'm taking diuretics and laxatives and drinking a lot of water to see how much of this is water weight (since I ate a lot of salty foods and I'm on my period this week). I'm so frustrated!!! It doesn't help that I live with my SO and 7 other people so I can't just stop eating or someone will notice
Tl;dr gained a zillion pounds in a week and a half, time to get serious about actually losing weight, numbers cause more anxiety than they should...arghh
Edit: How do people do that thing where they have their stats under their name? Can you do that on mobile:
Weekend trip is over, and my stomach, body and mind hate me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 07:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5krm/weekend_trip_is_over_and_my_stomach_body_and_mind/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Breakfast :(
/u/posyposer
Created: Mon Aug 7 07:29:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5il1/breakfast/
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I was planning to eat breakfast today because I have a long day ahead of me and I'm fucking hungry and I want to eat something. My friend was supposed to meet me at Starbucks for breakfast and she just texted me and said "we're only getting coffee right? I'm doing no carbs before noon." I feel so fat and ugly for even wanting to eat something... she's way skinnier than me and if one of us should be eating it's her. Guess it's just coffee for my fat ass today 🙃
[Discussion] August 7th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s5620/august_7th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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What was your last great meal?
(Ok I swear I'm not making these up. As someone with severe restriction as well as bingeing tendencies, I'm having a hard time coming up with a recentish meal that I truly enjoyed, and didn't end up regretting or purging. Maybe a meal with a loved one? Or maybe some food that was exceptionally delicious? I'll think on it, hope you guys can get something out of it too. ❤️)
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! August 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:14:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s54ms/weekly_stats_update_august_07_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 07, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:14:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s54lw/daily_food_diary_august_07_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 07, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.07
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s540j/thinspiration_807/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cwFRj
[Rant/Rave] My biggest insecurities
/u/Ms_Rainbow [5'8"/173cm | CW: 55.5kg | BMI (new): 18.3 | 21F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 06:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s52dx/my_biggest_insecurities/
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Here they are, the things I hate about myself:
1. my face / skin
2. upper arms
3. "hip dip"
4. stomach
5. teeth *edit: added this
The number one reason I was suicidal in my teens was my face. You know why? Acne. Lots of it. I had zero confidence and I was 100% sure I would end up alone. I hated looking in the mirror. I was thin at the time but I couldn't enjoy that while feeling like a monster among all the pretty girls at school. If I had to pick between being fat and having bad acne again, I would probably pick being fat. It was *that* bad. At least my weight is something I can control... and I think that's why my body became my other fixation. I always thought I would be perfectly happy once I was thin with good skin. And maybe I would be happy if I wasn't mentally ill, since my skin is a lot better now and I'm almost underweight. But I'm not, most likely because I was deeply unhappy through my teen years for many reasons and that didn't give a very good base for my adult life.
I guess my point is that when you're insecure or have low self-esteem, you will always find something wrong with you. It's not about fixing that one thing, it's about getting to the bottom of why it makes you unhappy.
Literally just rambling now but thanks for letting me vent <3
Edit: fixed some mistakes because I'm a dumb non-native English speaker, and added another insecurity
[Other] My boyfriend picked me up without struggling.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:51:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s50ok/my_boyfriend_picked_me_up_without_struggling/
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[deleted]
[Other] Life with bulimia: grocery shopping edition
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:50:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s50kr/life_with_bulimia_grocery_shopping_edition/
---
https://i.redd.it/607nm4kq0bez.jpg
[Discussion] DAE ever feel the need to destroy themselves with their ED?
/u/Activated_Raviolis [5'3| 145 | 25.7 | HW: too much | UGW 100]
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:45:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4zo7/dae_ever_feel_the_need_to_destroy_themselves_with/
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I don't mean feeling the need to die from it per se, but I feel like this ED is a reflection of how badly I want to metaphorically tear myself apart.
Like, I want people to know how much I'm suffering. I want there to be a visual representation of how I've felt for years. Of course there are so many other reasons why I want to be thin/lose weight: to be seen as pretty, to fit into nice clothes, to feel better about myself, for control, etc. But I feel this one so strongly. I want the people I love to finally give a shit about me and I want the people that have hurt me to know what they've done to me. I want for people to see it and just know. It's such an evil thought and I hate it. It's irrational and disgusting but I can't help but feel this way.
Almost no one knows about my disorder and about the fact that it's all I think about anymore, but when it finally comes to I'm going to be so scared. Am I the only person who feels this way?
[Discussion] What are your lives like?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:29:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4x5s/what_are_your_lives_like/
---
[deleted]
Start restricting again?
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Mon Aug 7 05:10:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4uf2/start_restricting_again/
---
[removed]
[Help] 50 days to achieve a semblance of perfection...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 04:42:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4qlc/50_days_to_achieve_a_semblance_of_perfection/
---
[removed]
So, I work in retail now..
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Mon Aug 7 04:21:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4nt0/so_i_work_in_retail_now/
---
[removed]
[Tip] Have a sweet craving? Freeze your gummies!
/u/haveanicedaytoo [5'7 | 122 (-5) | 19.09 | GW: 118 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 7 03:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4fyx/have_a_sweet_craving_freeze_your_gummies/
---
Hi guys! I just wanted to share something with you that I discovered yesterday. I tend to eat my gummi bears/worms/whatever one or two at a time so it will usually take me 1-2 weeks to finish a small package. I put one in my mouth and suck on it as long as I can until my chewing instincts can't take it anymore. So to prolong the chewing instinct and to be able to enjoy the gummi longer I tried freezing them! (In this heat, it was so worth it too!)
I did it with the vitamin gummi bears so technically this is "healthy" LOL
I hope this helps someone. I'll be experimenting with freezing other foods next!
[Thinspo] Alberta Berlin, my new favourite thinspo
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Mon Aug 7 03:03:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4ds2/alberta_berlin_my_new_favourite_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/jrzsx
Into (or sorts)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 7 02:58:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4d2w/into_or_sorts/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] my epiphany on binging
/u/foxmilk [5'3 | 138 | 24.2 | f]
Created: Mon Aug 7 02:53:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s4cj3/my_epiphany_on_binging/
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hey all. i know this title refers to binging, but i truly think this advice could be directed towards purging or any other bad habits you want to kick. *firstly*, it's important to understand humans like habits and routines. you didn't start binging overnight, it was a lifetime of unhealthy behaviors that led to you doing what you are doing today. **it's important to realize that every time you say no to a binge or purge cycle, you strengthen that pathway in your brain to overcome your addiction. every time you give into a binge cycle, you only strengthen your addiction.** seriously. they say it takes around a month to form a new habit. you may think, i've already ruined my day/week/month by binging. just say NO next time.
i myself have had huge problems with constantly binging and feeling literally addicted to food. i realized in bed tonight that i wanted to make a greasy daiya grilled cheese, but acknowledged the craving and moved past it. why? because all of july, i worked on not giving power to those impulses to binge. i drank water. i read. i rode my bike. i did my homework. value yourself. strengthen those pathways and do better next time. i love you guys.
[Discussion] This book is amazing 💕 Has anyone else read it?
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Mon Aug 7 02:30:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s49qz/this_book_is_amazing_has_anyone_else_read_it/
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https://i.redd.it/x0didlb31aez.jpg
[Rant/Rave] It's been a while but for anyone who cares I am still here.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Aug 7 01:58:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s45kj/its_been_a_while_but_for_anyone_who_cares_i_am/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave.
I had a few bad binge days and also spent a lot of time at the gym. I am fasting again and don't know how to break it. I binge bad for 4 days straight and ate 2500 calories every day but worked off the binges partly at the gym. I have done two hours every day for the past week or so and feel compelled to burn as many calories as I can. I just feel obsessed with working out again.
I have also been a lonely anxious wreck. I feel guilty eating and I was guilt tripped about leaving a mess post binge and so now i feel more guilty about even making food for myself.
So that's the shitshow that my life has been lately.
Willow.
[Discussion] I can't stop watching Mukbangs on Youtube...anyone else?
/u/pisceseyesx
Created: Mon Aug 7 01:09:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s3z5x/i_cant_stop_watching_mukbangs_on_youtubeanyone/
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Geez I can spend countless hours of my free time watching mukbangs on youtube. So many emotions/feelings come over me with each mini episode I watch. Bewilderment, jealousy, excitement, disgust, sometimes mouth-watering, and also makes me feel a bit better in relation to control. It sure is a roller coaster. Any opinions? Thoughts? Or maybe I'm just crazy...
[Discussion] Anyone else have a bf with a petite preference?
/u/PetraQuill
Created: Sun Aug 6 22:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s3e4d/anyone_else_have_a_bf_with_a_petite_preference/
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It really makes "fasting" and "restricting" (aka starving) a lot easier. He doesn't want to see me ill, but definitely prefers me tiny. I don't mind it ha.
I stopped a fucking binge💖
/u/PmMeNiceGenitals
Created: Sun Aug 6 21:57:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s35x6/i_stopped_a_fucking_binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] ED and tattoos
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Sun Aug 6 21:48:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s34ei/ed_and_tattoos/
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Anyone here have tattoos? Has your ED ever had an impact on them (weight loss/gain, maybe)?
I've been putting off getting tattoos for...years...because my immune system has been shit and it everything takes forever to heal, and normally gets infected to boot -- like my helix piercings.
Any experiences to share? I thought I'd wait til I was recovered. But I don't want to wait forever!
[Rant/Rave] Literally none of my clothes fit anymore.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 21:33:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s31td/literally_none_of_my_clothes_fit_anymore/
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Like the title says, I got sick of wearing shorts that were falling off me, so I went through and tried on *everything* I own. Absolutely nothing fits, and almost everything is so big that it falls off when I put it on. I obviously need to buy new clothes, but (1) help me, I'm poor; and (2) I can't convince myself to buy anything because I know it'll be too big in a few weeks or months.
I have no idea what to do until I hit my UGW besides just wear the same huge t-shirt/flannel/pair of leggings every single day.
[Thinspo] Someone told me I should post this as leg thinspo (me)
/u/Fuzzypanda67 [5'8" | 142 | 20.97 | 0 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:53:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ujd/someone_told_me_i_should_post_this_as_leg_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/7xvt8a9wc8ez.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I am SO uncomfortable posting this right now
/u/SnowLeopardSnuggles [5'1" | 28F | 124.2lbs | 24.51 | -16.6lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:39:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2rw4/i_am_so_uncomfortable_posting_this_right_now/
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I feel like a total mess. I ate like shit this weekend. I fasted all day Friday because it was date night and I had no idea what I'd be eating. I ate an inordinate amount of albeit mostly "healthy" food that night (salmon, veggies and the like,) but it was more food than I'd eaten in one sitting for a while and my stomach was so upset. I fasted the majority of the next day too, but went crazy at dinner with my family. I gained 4 lbs in TWO DAYS. I am sure it's all water weight and will come right off, but COME ON! Why is it so hard to just not be such a fat piece of shit?
I tried to fast today. And for me, fasting means no food, but coffee with a little almond milk and/or diet soda. I guess you'd call that restricting, rather than fasting? Either way I did fine today, wasn't even hungry until tonight. The bf and I had a fight and I am such an emotional eater ... I've had a leftover homemade cupcake, a 90 calorie pack of deli turkey, and an ounce of cheese. It only comes out to around 550 calories or so, but I still feel like such a fatass. I just want to feel empty and small and be a tiny thing but have no one notice or comment on it. The second I walked into my parents' house last night, they immediately commented on my weight and told me I was getting "too skinny." Y'all see my flair, you know I am nowhere NEAR too skinny. I just wanted to put on a burlap sack and hide. Please don't comment on my body and I promise not to comment on the weight you've put on.
I'm sorry, I'm ranting. I'm just a jumbled mess of emotion and I don't know where else to put all these stressful thoughts. I really adore the folks in this subreddit, y'all are amazing and supportive and I have yet to see a more cohesive, kind sub.
Thanks for reading.
[Discussion] Morbid question: DAE think about what would happen if you were to spontaneously die?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:33:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2qq8/morbid_question_dae_think_about_what_would_happen/
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Sometimes I feel like I need to get my life together. Clean the vomit bags from my car. Clean the wrappers out from my work desk. Organize my will and paperwork.
Every once in a while, I just feel like shit (more than usual) after purging. And as I am lying down with my heart racing, I think, "Damn it, throwawaytodayokc, you need to prepared so you don't die embarrassed. Nobody wants to find your vomit bags. Or at least clean stuff up to free up an extra step to have courage to die by suicide".
I am just feeling so exhausted. I'm so tired.
[Rant/Rave] Ran into one of my sorority sisters today
/u/fullstackedd [5'6" | 20F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2pcc/ran_into_one_of_my_sorority_sisters_today/
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and she just came out of some workout class and told me about this juice fast cleanse thing and hasn't eaten solid food since school ended because she wants to lose weight before recruitment. This girl is like a size 2 and me and her are like the only Asian girls in the sorority and I'm anxious about the new girls rushing and talking about her as the "hotter, tiny Asian".
I've been in recovery since July and I was just starting to feel ok about food and started eating actual meals but now I can feel the anxiety coming back again hhahahah great :-)
[Discussion] [discussion] best eating disorder books and movies??
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 129 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2olu/discussion_best_eating_disorder_books_and_movies/
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i'm looking for books to read and i love ed books. i also would really like some ed movies to watch. please share your discussions and feel free to share opinions about other comments :)
[Rant/Rave] Food is a punishment
/u/ballerinainpain [5'5" | 120 | 19.45 | GW: 75]
Created: Sun Aug 6 20:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2kvj/food_is_a_punishment/
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I've binged all the way back up from my lowest weight. It's not even because I am hungry or genuinely enjoy any of the food. TBH, everything tastes disgusting to me. But I keep eating, and eating, and EATING because I want to punish myself for being a fat fucking failure at everything. Does anyone ever feel like eating is a punishment? I don't need advice, I just need somewhere to vent.
[Other] fuck, man
/u/warmrobot
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ih4/fuck_man/
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about a year ago, i discovered a greek reporter who was anorexic on reddit. someone linked to her instagram in the comments and i would check up on her occasionally to see how she was doing. [i just learned she died recently](http://greece.greekreporter.com/2017/06/27/well-known-greek-journalist-and-presenter-dies-of-anorexia/)
sorry for the depressing post, and sorry if it isn't welcomed. her death isn't personal to me, but she had made a lot of progress from older photos i'd seen of her. i thought she was on her way to full recovery and was looking forward to watching her get better :/
[Discussion] ~secrets~
/u/krebsunicycle [5'7" | 114 lbs | 17.79 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ia8/secrets/
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DAE feel sketchy af trying to hide the evidence of their ED? Pretty sure my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy because I never want him to open my laptop before me. I'm always afraid I'll have MFP or r/Proed open (even though it never actually is). Same sometimes with looking at my phone or notebooks. I've explained it off as googling embarrassing medical conditions in the past. I already feel super weird having people over and having them wonder why my the contents of my fridge consist of one zucchini and almond milk.
Part of me is afraid he'll think it's funny because I don't look like someone who has an eating disorder. I just don't want him to know either way. He probably thinks I have some secret internet lover the way I jump for my laptop.
[Help] How to increase thigh gap?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:37:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ge6/how_to_increase_thigh_gap/
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http://i.imgur.com/FQ2fJ8O.jpg
[Discussion] When I feel stressed/depressed, my appetite totally goes (which is great for me TBH) but my bf is freaking out.
/u/Turtledoll
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2ewp/when_i_feel_stresseddepressed_my_appetite_totally/
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I usually hide my ED and self loathing from him pretty well under the guise of eating healthily.
The last three days I haven't really eaten and he's freaking out. It's day four today and I'm very content with not eating whilst I have no desire to. It's so easy to not eat when you aren't hungry and it's great for my weight loss. I've lots 2kgs already (4.4lbs).
Idk what to do. Yesterday he was yelling at me "you not eating is killing me!" ... He cares a lot and it's sweet, but this weight loss is really easy and great for me. I don't have to suffer for it like I usually do when I have to fight against the appetite.
How to I make him happy without eating?
I'm thinking of sending him food pics while he's at work but not eating it? :/
[Help] Are my goals just unrealistic or do I majorly suck?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2b4i/are_my_goals_just_unrealistic_or_do_i_majorly_suck/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] An intense need to purge has arisen and it terrifies me a bit
/u/OneThousandAllinBlue
Created: Sun Aug 6 19:07:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s2aqd/an_intense_need_to_purge_has_arisen_and_it/
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(On mobile, please flair as rant)
First post, but I'm a huge lurker! Lol
So to kick this off, there's a little semi-important background: In June, I lost a baby. It was essentially complications of being overweight and PCOS and hormones and yuck.
But anyways, the point is that I've watched my disordered eating morph before my eyes this last month. I used to just feed my disgustingly fat self constantly. Now, I fast and restrict mostly on purpose and have small binges when my body realizes how hungry it is after a day or two (1200 cal compared to an old school binge of 3000+). After each of these smaller binges, my stomach hurts so bad and I just want to go purge it all in the bathroom.
I've never been a purger and I know how harmful and addictive it can be. I don't want to start, but the urge is so powerful. I don't know what to do, so I'm posting here because I feel like you lovelies are the only ones who might understand. ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Just venting, I hate my body, i feel too "strong", I want to shrink to nothing....
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:50:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s27lo/just_venting_i_hate_my_body_i_feel_too_strong_i/
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I am constantly measuring my body with my hands to see how small parts are getting OR if they get bigger post binges. This is usually my daily go to, I do weigh ins every other week.
I have been getting so frustrated because no matter what, my arms stay the same. There is about a half inch to go before I can wrap my hand for soooo long now that it's driving me insane. Today I started violently pulling my skin up and squishing it together in tears , I then noticed that I think it's my muscle that won't allow it. I feel completely crazy and just want to cut it off my body.
People are always surprised by how much I can lift ( I'm talking groceries, boxes, etc.) compared to people bigger than me and it always makes me feel manly. I've always been strong before my ED and it goes back to a class trip where a boy was helping other girls with their bags. I asked if he could grab mine and he was like no your big enough.....like wtf.
I hate that I use my arms so much at my professions and how much muscle it's adding. I try to act proud of it but now I feel gross and just want it to go away!!!!!! I want to be dainty.
This is so stupid, I just needed to get it out, I'm sorry....I'm just losing my mind and keep replaying being big or thought of as too tall when I was younger. 5ft 10in in 6th grade! I hate my life soooo much I just want to be tiny...
I feel horrible and disgusted with myself that I even care about this. What is wrong with me
Not-my-mother-in-law made pig noises at me during family dinner.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:24:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s22lz/notmymotherinlaw_made_pig_noises_at_me_during/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] How bad do you have to be to go to hospital or put in a program?
/u/PrincessMelancholia [4'11 | CW:85lbs | GW:77lbs |UGW:66lbs]
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:07:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1z6f/how_bad_do_you_have_to_be_to_go_to_hospital_or/
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Is there a certain BMI that you have to reach, or certain behaviours that will let you qualify for an ED program?
[Rant/Rave] Diet's going great, ladies!
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain
Created: Sun Aug 6 18:02:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1y76/diets_going_great_ladies/
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http://i.imgur.com/xTm5kyv.png
[Rant/Rave] I could binge... [rant]
/u/uiume [5'4" | CW:122.8 | 21.72 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 17:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1wrk/i_could_binge_rant/
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I could. There is a lot of deliciously unhealthy vegan junk food in my house right now and really I'd have no lasting consequences if I decided to eat whatever I want at this very moment.
I could binge...on Häagen-Dazs ice cream that would be sickeningly sweet in the best way, with mounds of peanut butter and chocolate swirls; on Gardein chicken sandwiches that admittedly aren't fantastic but remind me of my childhood and that is something I feel I can only remember through food; on birthday cake Teddy Grahams that taste just like mini sugar cookies that I could eat an entire box of; on hummus and carrots and wheat thins and it wouldn't be too bad because those are healthy foods, right? It's just one binge, right?
I could binge...but if I did that would bring temporary pleasure (and God eating without restraint can be glorious) followed quickly by disappointment. Shame. Disgust. Physical and mental discomfort. I could eat a pint of ice cream and sandwiches and more sugar and carbs because it can be so easy to give into the unhealthy unnecessary things that I have eaten for years without a care in the world but things are different now and I cannot respect myself if I allow something so simple such as food to control me. I do not and will not respect the me that runs out of the kitchen and up the stairs as quick as possible so as to avoid running into a family member that surely would likewise find that amount of food baffling.
I am always thinking of food and thinking about my weight and my measurements with a cruel mixture of anticipation, excitement, dread, and sadness. I am able to control myself with eating meals that do not go above my set amount of calories. And I see the success in this, I see how easy it is for me to exist in a happier state of mind just by eating less and weighing less each and every morning. I am obsessed, yes, but I would prefer to be obsessed over calories and weight any day than food in the most gluttonous way possible.
I could binge...and this is very much so guaranteed eventually in my life as admittedly I only have so much self control over something I have been addicted to and fixated on for my entire life. But if I binge tonight I am giving into the thing that I love to hate and hate to love the most. And God forbid if that happens, because the amount of shame I will feel will be far greater than any feelings of simple pleasure that could never rival the euphoria that comes with loose clothing and a smaller waist. I am more than food. I have to be.
[Rant/Rave] "The whole family is going to write down what they eat every day in this giant whiteboard."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 17:16:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1pgf/the_whole_family_is_going_to_write_down_what_they/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] That perfect purge..
/u/Chromalust [6'1 | CW: 133lbs | GW: Less | mtF]
Created: Sun Aug 6 17:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1o75/that_perfect_purge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] At what bmi did you start to see side effects of being too thin?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sun Aug 6 16:07:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s1bo7/at_what_bmi_did_you_start_to_see_side_effects_of/
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My feet, my fingers, even my nose... they are all ice cold and its august. I didn't think i was underweight enough for this....
[Rant/Rave] I actually feel disgusting after I eat but my mom doesnt understand
/u/Ironicbanana14
Created: Sun Aug 6 15:32:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s147w/i_actually_feel_disgusting_after_i_eat_but_my_mom/
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She knows ive been on a "diet" but its hard when she's telling me to eat things that I dont want to eat anymore. Usually the things she makes for dinner are unhealthy or I don't have a way to count the calories and I really want to avoid eating it. But she gets mad and calls me ungrateful for not eating or she gets mad when I choose to eat something I can count the cals on because "its wasting". I can't eat those things without actually feeling disgusting. I feel like an actual whale and greasy and hideous. But when I eat what I can control I feel much better and less guilty about eating at all. Jeez. Its so frustrating.
[Other] post-binge water weight
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | SW 164 | CW 136 | GW 88 | -28 | NB]
Created: Sun Aug 6 14:16:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0njj/postbinge_water_weight/
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tl;dr: I just want to reassure anyone panicking over post-binge weight gain that often, a large part of it is water weight and it is Most Definitely Temporary (self-soothing and self-reassurance is important)
so I ate really terribly the month of July (three birthdays, visiting relatives, four different friends sent me boxes of sweets, etc.). My average caloric intake for the month was 2k/day. When I weighed myself at the beginning of August I'd gained 10lbs.
Except today, four days later, I'm down 6lbs. I'm still not back into the '''right''' restricting mindset, so I definitely didn't restrict enough to permanently lose 6lbs. Which means that those 6lbs were not permanent weight gain, either.
idk I don't think this really makes a lot of sense, but I know a lot of us panic after eating (relatively or objectively) a lot and seeing the numbers jump on the scale, and it's hard to remember it's temporary when panic makes you forget all the times that the water weight did go away. And there probably won't be true relief until the water weight and food weight goes away.
But when you see the number jump, remember, a lot of it is water weight. Think about all the times that the scale jumped and then dropped back down. Even if you did eat terribly, even if you did eat enough calories to gain several pounds, I promise that the number you see on the scale is not literally the amount you gained permanently.
[Help] dealing with headaches?
/u/yourtypeofmetal
Created: Sun Aug 6 14:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0n1t/dealing_with_headaches/
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so i always feel physically fine when restricting EXCEPT FOR HEADACHES. they're all-over throbbing/pounding dull headaches and i hate them. how can i deal without eating?? can vitamins/medicine help??
[Help] My Girlfriend Dependence On Me Worries Me
/u/ClTRlS
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:55:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0j1c/my_girlfriend_dependence_on_me_worries_me/
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Okay, so I didn't know where to put this, but I'm just hoping someone can help me figure this out.
Let me add some background. I met my girlfriend early last year, and when I did, I fell in love with her personality. After months of knowing each other and working with each other in engineering, we became best friends. She was way out of my league though, and there was no way I was gonna ask her out, besides, I was worried that dating might ruin the friendship I loved so much, and I told myself I'd never ask her out for that reason.
Fast forward a bit in the future, and eventually there came a day when she seemed to be talking down about herself, she was calling herself ugly, fat, etc. That's when I complemented her for the first time and told her I thought she was cute (believe me I wanted to say more but I was incapable of doing so 😅). She really was happy when I told her that, and I started opening up a little bit more every now and then about how I felt about her. She had a lot of issues with her self-image, but I always was there to tell her she was completely wrong. Eventually, she asked me out, and at this point, I couldn't say no.
Fast forward another year, and things have been amazing, but at the same time, there were some things that were revealed to me. My girlfriend was Anorexic, which didn't come to much of a surprise, but after a while it began to affect me too, though I'm not gonna go I to that for the sake of staying on topic. It sucked.
I tried really hard though to make my girlfriend's condition better, I tried so darn hard. And it worked. Everyday she stared a little less at calorie labels, and ate a little more than 500-600 calories, eventually finally eating 3 meals a day. It was small steps, but in the end became much larger ones. It was nice seeing her happier.
The problem was when I left for a while to some internships. Things got bad. She went straight back to her old habits, and she was crying on a daily basis, constantly in pain. When I came back, things returned to normal, until I left again for a week to an internship, and once again, the same thing happened. I feel useless when I'm gone.
The part that worries me the most however is what will happen when we move on to our own schools, how will she cope with it? I can't always be with her on a daily basis, at least not on the short term. I care about our relationship, but most importantly I care about her and her health. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've become the cure to the problem she's had for so long, but the second I'm gone she relapses. I feel like she's a ticking time bomb, and if I'm not there to cut the wires, things can go "boom". Is the best hope for her to find another "me" when she moves on to another school?
tl;dr: When I'm gone my girlfriend relapses to Anorexia, and I don't know what to do.
[Other] I think my husband not only knows, but approves, of my ED
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:53:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0il5/i_think_my_husband_not_only_knows_but_approves_of/
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Occasionally my husband will say things like "if it's going to make you feel better, you should just go throw up" or "I'll give you some privacy if you need some time in the bathroom".
I don't know if I should be grateful or insulted......
[Rant/Rave] "Your daughter looks like she could be a model!! Is she one?"
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 123.6 | 18.3 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:27:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0d2a/your_daughter_looks_like_she_could_be_a_model_is/
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I was grocery shopping with my mom before and this mother looked at me and said "Your daughter looks like she could be a model! Is she one?" That made me so happy, especially since I've always wished to be one!!! I got a huge confidence boost :)
[Rant/Rave] I was doing well then I fucked it up
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 105 | SW 132 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:23:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0c61/i_was_doing_well_then_i_fucked_it_up/
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I was doing well on high restriction + tons of water for two weeks until the past two days where I consumed a small pizza, beer and popcorn.
Of course this lined up with the night I'd be going on a Tinder date where I'm going out for drinks and will probably bloat regardless, but I had been doing great until now. Hopefully I can do better tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] I cannot eat anything unhealthy without it resulting in a huge binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 13:18:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s0b3l/i_cannot_eat_anything_unhealthy_without_it/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] And the anon hate just keeps on coming
/u/kristine0711 [158cm | 46.4kg | BMI 18.6 | 17F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:47:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s049b/and_the_anon_hate_just_keeps_on_coming/
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So I've seen this Sarahah thing becoming fairly popular lately, so decided to give it a go. Well, let's just say mistakes were made.
I should've known it would happen, I mean, every time there comes a new app/social media where you can send thing anonymously to others, I've gotten hate messages, and so I did this time as well. Took a grand total of 5 minutes before the first message telling me how much of an attention seeking whore I am. 2hrs forwards and I've now gotten 2 messages telling me how fat I am, and that there's no way I can have anorexia/bulimia since I'm so fat and lazy... :)))
And idk why, but I get addicted to reading these messages, basics sitting here just waiting for new ones to arrive. Is that weird? Getting addicted to reading hate? I've always been like that and idk why? I guess I have a tendency to use it as motivation to restrict even heavier, and that that's the reason why I get so addicted to these comments.
But Jesus fucking Christ, do I have a huge ass target on my back saying "PLEASE TELL ME HOW FAT I AM" because I've been told ever since I was 10yrs (am 18 now) on a semi regular basis that I am fat/lazy/overweight
Best/worst comment I've ever gotten? "So keep on not eating bitch, cuz you need it" Seriously can't stop thinking about that comment ever since I got it a few months ago
[Other] [Discussion] I'm bored and want to write for you guys!
/u/the-watermeloner [113.4 lbs | 5'4" | 19.85 | my bmi makes me want to die]
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s01nk/discussion_im_bored_and_want_to_write_for_you_guys/
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Hi c: I'm bored and pushing past some food cravings right now, so I was wondering if you guys could give me some simple writing prompts, related to EDs/food or not.
(if I'm not being clear, here's an example of a prompt -- _if cravings were people._)
[also changed that flair 'cause I'm dumb lol]
[Help] Has anyone dealt with mass hair loss because of their ED?
/u/pisceseyesx
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:34:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6s01i0/has_anyone_dealt_with_mass_hair_loss_because_of/
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My hair is coming out in clumps and I've always had a full thick head of hair. I am so worried and need some advice.
Have any of you dealt with this before? Any tips?
[Humor] MFW I've taken two bites of a 230 calorie protein bar and my bf asks if I wanna go out for dinner
/u/skinnifat [5'4" | CW: 132 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:24:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzzb1/mfw_ive_taken_two_bites_of_a_230_calorie_protein/
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http://i.imgur.com/2YYBXti.png
[Other] Day 1 of my 3 day water fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:03:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzuqx/day_1_of_my_3_day_water_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Just ate an entire bag of crispy noodles
/u/andareavante
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzu1d/just_ate_an_entire_bag_of_crispy_noodles/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Worst binge in a while. (on mobile, can't flair)
/u/milovsflo
Created: Sun Aug 6 12:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzty5/worst_binge_in_a_while_on_mobile_cant_flair/
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I basically binged all week, but today was the worst. I skipped breakfast, lunch was healthy and low cal, then I made pancakes... I ate 680 calories worth of pancakes. At that point I was already over my calorie budget for the day, so I entered "binge mode" and ate an entire pizza (around 860 calories) and tons of sweet tea. Total 1900 calories. My TDEE is 1484.
I feel awfully full and want to to throw up, but I don't purge so...
[Rant/Rave] Appreciation post for my boyfriend
/u/lil_ginge
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:40:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzpsj/appreciation_post_for_my_boyfriend/
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I've really hit the jackpot in my boyfriend when it relates to my disordered eating. He lets me rant/rave about gains and losses without necessarily encouraging or discouraging my behaviors.
I'm currently about 15 lbs less than when we started dating and he must have picked up on my frustration with his comments about my "curves" because he's traded them in for compliments on how skinny I'm looking. He'll wrap his arms around my waist and say how small it is. Or pick me up and say that I barely weigh anything.
The golden moment though was just this past week. He took me on a trip to an amusement park for my 21st birthday and we were riding one of the water slide rides which you have to be weighed before.
When I asked if I could step on a second before him to see my weight alone, he acted like that was totally normal and just nonchalantly hung back for a second. God bless him. 😭
[Help] Possible for me to go from 142lbs to 120lbs in 3 weeks?
/u/hottubsforlife
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:17:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzkqs/possible_for_me_to_go_from_142lbs_to_120lbs_in_3/
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[removed]
[Humor] Banana Protects
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 129 | GW: 113 | 20.9]
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:09:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzj04/banana_protects/
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[removed]
[Help] Questions about purging.
/u/082616
Created: Sun Aug 6 11:03:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzhlz/questions_about_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Can stopping birth control cause you to lose weight?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzgli/can_stopping_birth_control_cause_you_to_lose/
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I know it's a common thing that birth control (the pill version) causes you to gain weight and I have had a big weight increase after I started it but has anyone had experience stopping it and actually losing weight? I'm not on it to stop pregnancy but because off it I have really bad periods but I'll take the week of crying in pain if it means I'll lose weight faster...
[Other] Mango Power
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzgcg/mango_power/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE ever feel super guilty and selfish about their ED?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:39:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzchn/dae_ever_feel_super_guilty_and_selfish_about/
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Does anyone else ever feel super shitty about having an ED? For example, hearing stories about children with disabilities and/or illnesses (such as [god forbid and I am so sorry if this touches too close to home for some] but cancer, osteogenesis imperfecta, down syndrome, etc) and just feel *super fucking shitty* that these children are just so happy to be alive and wake up to a new day? Like, I have been blessed with a healthy body but am too selfish and plagued with these ED thoughts that just torture my mind, when I should be happy to have everything I have and that I am able to grow, to talk, to walk, etc?
I feel like I am selfish and I feel super ashamed to think that some people have so little but are happy with just being ALIVE.
[Humor] "You look good!"
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:39:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzcer/you_look_good/
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"Thank you"
"You've lost weight...was it on purpose?"
*every food I've ever C/S, every meal I've skipped, and every minute I spent counting and recounting calories flashed before my eyes*
"No, I just started eating better", I lied as I slowly shrank into a corncob.
[Other] I feel like I've been asleep for years and just woke up in an obese body
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rzc6y/i_feel_like_ive_been_asleep_for_years_and_just/
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K so first off I have a bunch of problems that all play off each other in a variety of ways. Severe social anxiety and agoraphobia are bigger factors in my life than my ED - usually. But something like 6 weeks ago, it flipped. After months (years tbh) of binging I hit some kind of wall. I was suddenly aware of how massive I was. Idk if I had been compartmentalizing my size in some way, but it hit me all at once and I became unable to see people. I leave my house once a week to see my new therapist, who I realistically weigh almost twice as much as.
I feel like there are tumors hanging off of me. I feel like people on the street despise me. It feels like going out without pants on, or after not showering for 2 weeks. Like I'm exposed. I can't just put pants on though or take a shower. This fix is going to take months. And I'm convinced that I won't have social anxiety or agoraphobia anymore when I'm thin again. Some part of me knows that's not true but it's the only hope I have to cling on to. I hate that I could not eat for 2 weeks and still be fat. I feel trapped.
[Other] Self-harm and Anorexia
/u/shacrossan
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz957/selfharm_and_anorexia/
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Hello,
Experience of anorexia? Self-harm? Would you share your experiences to help improve treatment services?
*Do not need to have been in treatment or diagnosed* * All completely confidential and anonymous*
https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/sh-across-an
I've recovered from anorexia and currently at university helping with some really important, non-profit research into improving how eating disorder treatment services help and tailor treatment for those with anorexia. This entails informing services of how best to tailor treatment to help people in all stages of anorexia.
We fully understand this is a really sensitive and upsetting topic, yet if you or anyone you know of has had any experience of an eating disorder could complete this questionnaire (link below), it would be very much appreciated.
The questionnaire should only take 20-25 minutes and any input is really valued.
For more information about the study see the Fb page (facebook. com/shacrossan) or please feel free to message me for the link for the study itself (https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/sh-across-an)
Thank you!
[Other] Anyone tried Walden Foods zero-calorie dressings, dips?
/u/ri-ri [Height 5'3 | CW 105 | GW 95 | Female]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:22:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz8zi/anyone_tried_walden_foods_zerocalorie_dressings/
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Anyone tried these Walden Foods stuff? They have like zero calorie syrups, dressings, and dips for fruit and stuff. I tried the zero calorie ranch dressing and I would rather die but they have good chocolate syrup that is better than nothing...
EDIT: Reason I am asking is because the stuff is so *god damn expensive!!!* I want some good reviews before I spend another $6.00 on a little bottle of a chemical shitstorm that just tastes like ass :3
[Help] I binged yesterday, and I'm scared to calculate how much I ate.
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:11:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz6tv/i_binged_yesterday_and_im_scared_to_calculate_how/
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Yesterday was hell for me. I had to work because it was a required event for everyone to participate in. It was a 12 hour shift with no break, and I burned at least 1300-1500 calories with everything I did.
When I got home, I had my usual dinner. Then, after an impulsive decision, I decided to go get ice cream, lentil chips, and wine. I ate all of the chips, drank a glass of wine, and half of the ice cream.
I have yet to have a BM even though it's noon, and I'm just scared to look in the mirror. I tried to rationalize it because it's all vegan and I burned so many calories yesterday, but it's scary to me because I just don't want to be fat anymore, and then I do shit like this. I also have leftovers, and I hate wasting food, but I also don't want to be a pig.
Am I being irrational?
EDIT: It's 5:20 PM, and I couldn't bring myself to eat today. I ingested 1200 calories yesterday, including breakfast. I burned 1,587 calories. I feel silly for blowing it out of proportion. I didn't gain, but hopefully I can bring myself to eat something today.
[Help] Upcoming intake appointment for an outpatient program. I need to know what questions I'll be asked. Or any advice to help me prepare.
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 10:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz5f0/upcoming_intake_appointment_for_an_outpatient/
---
I'm having some severe brain fog today so bare with me. Bear? Bare?
My therapist suggested I get help for my issues with food. I've had these issues for over 10 years but my upcoming vacation with my family triggered a relapse. I've been restricting heavily for a month but its obviously not good enough. I've never received help for an eating disorder and still refuse to accept that I have one. But she also recommended I do php for self harm/suicidal thoughts and that really helped so I do trust her.
So I am moving forward with this appointment. I don't even know what to call it. I filled out a bunch of paperwork and sent it to them. I'm terrified I do have a problem and terrified I don't. I have ADHD so it takes me awhile to process questions and pull the information from my brain. I just need to have an idea of what they're going to ask me. The initial appointment is 3 hours. After doing php I was so overwhelmed and overstimulated I had to go to my car and cut. I've been clean from that for like 3 months now so I can't let that happen again.
I just need to have an idea of what to expect. Do I need to be ready for recovery? I don't even know what that means. I'm not at an unhealthy weight. I'm not ready to stop losing though. My anxiety is horrible. The appointment is over a week away but I won't be able to think about anything else until its over with. The intake appointment for php was absolutely brutal. If I can prepare myself for this appointment I think I'll be more receptive to what they say....
Any help or advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
[Discussion] August 6th, 2017 Question of the Day!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:54:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz38t/august_6th_2017_question_of_the_day/
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Who are you?
(Starting out with a rough one, yikes! Thanks, journal 🙄)
[Intro] An introduction
/u/oreofright [5' 1" | CW: 125 | GW: 100]
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:51:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rz2gb/an_introduction/
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Hi. I've lurked here on and off before. I'm 24, a senior in university, married. And the first weird thing is that I don't have an eating disorder. So why am I here? Something about this place resonates with me so much. I struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts come and go. I have gone months without an appetite before. I was recently put on a new medicine and will likely not have an appetite for a while... The dark side of my brain says "This is your chance. You're too fat. You need to stop eating while you can and just lose it all. now." And that's terrible, and I know. But then it's also difficult to eat and everything tastes bad and my tongue is numb from the medicine.
Apart from that, I have a lot of guilt around food. Eating in front of others stresses me out to no end. A shared meal is an hour of mental calculus, sizing up people's TDEEs and determining how much of my plate I'm allowed to finish so I don't look like a whale. A weekend at someone's house usually sends me off the rails because, with some of my friends, I can't keep track of when all these people eat and it feels like I'm the only one in the world who feels hunger. I beat myself up for eating an unplanned handful of cherries. I'm seriously messed up. I hope you know what I mean, and that I *know* you guys don't choose this, but in the past, I guess I've gone through phases of being tempted to "try" an eating disorder and I've been able to scare myself out of it properly by reading your stories here and taking a good look at anorexia. This is the way that my own twisted illness is manifesting itself. I have whispers in the back of my head like "you should totally do this" and "you don't deserve food" and "you know you want to look like her." And like, I'm trying to ignore them and take care of myself in spite of my own wishes...but you know how it is.
So I'm here. For now and for who knows how long. To commiserate in the self-hatred and this difficult relationship I have with food. I hope you're okay with me being here.
[Rant/Rave] I can't stand myself anymore
/u/Hiyoheyyo
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:03:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rysrw/i_cant_stand_myself_anymore/
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I am absolutely disgusting. I hate my face. I hate my body. I hate my hair. I hate my past. I hate everything that I am and have become. And I don't know what to do about it anymore. If I could just lose the weight. But I'm too much of a failure to even do that. Not looking for pity, just need to get this off my (pathetic excuse of a) chest.
[Discussion] One mistake doesn't ruin the whole day
/u/TopCat1392 [5'4" | UGW:92.6 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 09:03:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rysrl/one_mistake_doesnt_ruin_the_whole_day/
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I know this. I try to live this. But if I happen to go over my lot or eat something especially caloric and feasting isn't feasible, I'm never sure what to do. How do you reign it all in when fasting isn't an option? What do you allow yourself for the rest of the day?
[Rant/Rave] I weigh less than I did a year ago today!!!
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Sun Aug 6 07:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rycve/i_weigh_less_than_i_did_a_year_ago_today/
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Last summer I was in the process of losing a ton of weight (eating 1200 cal + burning 400 cal every day) and reached my low weight of 125 lbs. In the past year, I gained 30 lbs (lol college!!). I've been losing the weight this summer and today I weighed in at 134.4. And guess what, I had a logged a picture in MyFitnessPal from exactly a year ago today. AND I WEIGH LESS NOW THAN I DID LAST YEAR!!! It's turning out to be a really good day, even though my progress isn't as far along as I had hoped. :)
EDIT: Weighed again and I'm even less!! 132.8 :)
[Rant/Rave] I was about to binge, and then.....
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 07:11:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry9lk/i_was_about_to_binge_and_then/
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I'm PMSing and my cravings are through the roof. I already wanted to eat everything, but then this morning I saw an ad for Krispy Kreme Reese's donuts. Reese's are my favorite thing so I was actually about to get out of bed and go get one of these donuts and then just say fuck it and get a whole bunch of binge food.
And then I looked at the Krispy Kreme website at the participating locations, and my city isn't participating. No Reese's donuts!!!! I was disappointed but mostly I was super relieved that I didn't have an excuse to binge.
[Rant/Rave] Failed, and failed HARD.
/u/jessiemariexx [5'9" | CW: 122lb | GW: ~115lb | BMI: 18.5 | 24F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry6hv/failed_and_failed_hard/
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I should have figured that after 2 days of near starvation this would happen. I made it through half of yesterday and then ate an appetizer of bread and cheese dip to myself, followed by a nap, 5+ drinks, a plate of fried cauliflower my bf and I shared, fries AND a fucking veggie gyro.
I look 7 months pregnant this morning and all I want to do is run and sweat the entire day. I feel like actual garbage and look disgusting.
Fucking SUCKS that people can eat like this and still stay tiny. I can't go anywhere with "normal" people and not gain 5lb in one weekend.
I feel like total garbage. Please tell me it'll all be good and I'll get back on track...🙃😥fuck man.
[Rant/Rave] Made really great progress and then fucked myself over.
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:38:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry4pu/made_really_great_progress_and_then_fucked_myself/
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I don't weigh myself regularly, because I know that once I start doing it on a daily basis I won't be able to stop. So I only weigh myself on the days that I poop (haha). I weighed myself 8 days ago and I was 117. I've been losing weight steadily, but slowly, because I still live with my parents. I guess I was like oh I'm making good progress I guess I can eat more subliminally? I'm not sure but I weighed myself today and I'm fucking 121. Does that mean that entire month of weight loss was wasted in one week? Fuck I feel like such a failure. I really want to buy a second scale just to make sure this one is right since it's kind of old.
Daily Food Diary! August 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry12s/daily_food_diary_august_06_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 06, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ry12g/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Rant/Rave] L from Modcloth
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 06:02:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxzx6/l_from_modcloth/
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I bought clothes online and bought them in a L so that they would definitely fit.
It fits. Barely. When did I get so massive I didn't fit into a size large. LARGE.
What on earth have I been doing? Why am I so disgusting? My god. I'm horrified with myself.
[Tip] Found vegan 12kcal teriyaki sauce in Tesco
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Sun Aug 6 05:53:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxysu/found_vegan_12kcal_teriyaki_sauce_in_tesco/
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Search 'celebrate health' on Tesco website. There's also Chinese beef stir fry (same cal count) and butter chicken (a lil higher)
For some reason the company lists their calories in kilojoules only, so I was really confused at first but it's definitely not a mistake.
It's an aussie company and their range is actually much bigger but this is all we get. Still chuffed though!!
[Discussion] Monster Energy Ultra
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:128.9lbs | BMI:19.6 | 3rd Relapse: 5lbs | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 05:35:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxwi8/monster_energy_ultra/
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Does anyone else drink Monster Energy Ultra when restricting?
I have just discovered them as I hate coffee and didn't think I would like energy drinks, but these are zero cal and no sugar (still has sweetners so obviously not the best)
I have only tried the white can and the red can do far but they seem to beat my cravings even though I am a high restrictor 900-1300kcals a day due to parents.
[Rant/Rave] Oh god this is humiliating...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sun Aug 6 05:06:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxt0m/oh_god_this_is_humiliating/
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So I am on a VERY busy train for the next four hours. I have a cabin-sized bag, which is obviously going to get in somebody's way soon given how packed the train is. I've been trying to put it on the luggage rack above the seats for about twenty minutes, but am so pathetically weak - oh, I don't know, probably something to do with NEVER EATING - that I can't.
AND NOBODY IS OFFERING TO HELP.
Well done me. And well done to every inconsiderate burly man standing within a two metre radius of my feeble efforts.
[Tip] The best tip I've read for a while. Watch your poops!
/u/borbolete [5'4.3" | 🍑: borbolete]
Created: Sun Aug 6 04:37:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxpob/the_best_tip_ive_read_for_a_while_watch_your_poops/
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Okay I saw this comment over on /r/loseit and I could NOT resist sharing it with y'all, the queens and kings of talking about your poop.
> Log the times and dates when you go poop. You can monitor fluctuations in weight better when you know you're holding poop or changes in diet have affected how you hold your poop. Even with weekly weigh-ins, you know you haven't gone poop for a few days and your weight hasn't changed, you know you're holding waste weight and not actual fat.
Now I think about it, I haven't properly 'gone' for 3+ days. Coincidentally, my weight have stayed the same for 3+ days. Who woulda thunk.
Just thought it might help our combined sanity when dealing with sucky weigh-ins.
BTW I am British and even among 'the British folk' I'm mocked at for being the most 'polite' of my friends, so writing this post makes me cringeeee haha
[Rant/Rave] Watching "To The Bone" made me realize something about myself...
/u/fishysandwich [5'3.5" | 110 | -35 | F | 🍑 fishysandwich]
Created: Sun Aug 6 03:37:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rxj2i/watching_to_the_bone_made_me_realize_something/
---
I wanna be fucking manhandled. (haha... get it...)
I'm fucking obsessed with being loved. I wanna be touched. I want to be appreciated by someone. I want to know that I'm so important to someone no matter what.
Whenever I watch romance shows, animes, movies, I always think "I want that." I watch couples in real life and I'm like, "I want that." I have boyfriends but I never choose wisely because I think I don't have the worth to find a quality man. I choose shitty men that end up getting tired of me and later claiming that they just feel like they are taking advantage of me and I should find someone better. Shitty fucking excuses. I give my all to them, more than they deserve. I forget that I am a person with needs. Then they trash me back. I let them do what they want to me. I give up my innocence, my body, my soul, to people who don't fucking deserve me. I am fucking worth more than this and...
When my mom gives me that loving flick on my nose I think about it for days. When she hugs me out of nowhere I feel so much. When my parents are loving I am... so appreciative like what did I do to deserve this. I feel so deprived of love. In relationships I would make myself miserable on purpose to try and garner sympathy from my boyfriends whenever they weren't being affectionate enough so that I didn't have to awkwardly force it out of them. I wanted to see if they actually cared enough about me to try and make me feel better. I wanted their touch, I wanted their honest kindness and love.
But you know what? I never get it in the end.
Lucas in that movie was kind of a creep. Too pushy. And did he really have an eating disorder? Viewing Ellen as his "one last hope" as if she were HIS? Fucking shit, no. Fuck that. But that dancing scene in the rain... the restaurant scene... the rice milk with her mom... I kept saying, "I want that, I want this, I really want all this."
I want security in someone who really will stick with me, touch me, love me. I don't get loved enough. People want me, people hang with me, but I always feel used. And of course, I give myself to them, hoping that they will love me in exchange for using me.
It just shows how little I value myself. I feel like I need someone else's love for I to have worth. I feel like I need to be useful and make others happy so that I am not a waste of space or a bother.
And all I do is doubt myself. Even writing this post I am like, "I'm so fucking wrong. What the hell... you just look stupid as fuck writing this. You're a fucking cliche. You're just going to get disapproval. It's bad to be disapproved of. You don't even know what you want..." And I guess I don't because now I'm like "I just wish I had a best friend I can tell everything to." And I did, but she wasn't good to me so I left her. But I still go on thinking I made a mistake. I keep thinking I miss her when I think I just crave the platonic love of a best friendship. A love I haven't had for many years.
When I break up with boys, I never suffer much. I never miss them and I always hate them because they didn't give me the love I wanted. Only then am I able to blame others and not take personal responsibility for what happened. Because in every other instance where things get fucked up, I always blame myself. Does this make me a bad person? I don't even know.
I was gonna end this poetically like "bluh muh muh I just want someone to love me" but no I think I'm a messed up bitch who doesn't know what she wants and kinda wants someone to save her even though that doesn't happen in real life and I know that but I keep hoping.
The thought of fasting tomorrow makes me feel better, though. So there's that, at least.
edit: thank you so much for reading!! waking up to people saying they feel the same makes me feel so much more validated and not alone :)
Lost my peach login
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Aug 6 00:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwvgd/lost_my_peach_login/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] old woman rants at cloud (long as SHIT)
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW170 | GW120 | BMI24.65 | 19F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:40:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwrdh/old_woman_rants_at_cloud_long_as_shit/
---
I don't even know where to start. I've been losing the same ten pounds for over 2 fucking years and I just now managed to cut what feels like a week-long binge. I'm so sick of myself, I can't get myself to act on simple fucking math. I hate being fat so much. I have never been skinny since hitting puberty and I want so badly to just get myself to do it!!!
I don't know why I can't just stay in the lines and not eat grotesque amounts of food, I don't even taste it anymore after 2,000 calories. I eat good for like 2 weeks and then I'm back on my bullshit like never before. Being kind to myself doesn't work because then I just rationalize eating an entire gallon of ice cream as a """""treat""""" for doing so well tee hee :)))))))))))))))) Being mean to myself makes me self-isolate and ruins what few relationships and opportunities I have. The weight's constantly there all the same though. Whenever it leaves it just has to wait a week to return as I eat like an absolute fucking vacuum.
I've also entered a relationship with a man who has never had to read a nutrition label or google a calorie count for anything he's ever eaten in his life. He's insecure about being too thin, but he drives me crazy. I love him, I wish I was him, and I don't know how to be in a relationship with somebody like him. He always wants to eat total garbage with me and I can't stand it!!!! I've told him I'm on a diet (like six fucking months ago, where are the results you oreo-inhaling macroorganism???) and when we eat he always goes off like "see you eat normal, I don't know what you're worried about :)" like hahahaha dear would you say that again if you watched me walk in my kitchen as soon as I get home and literally drop to the floor in prayer for the binge you've just triggered fucking YEEEEEEEEEEEET BITCH I WISH I WAS DEAD!!!
I don't talk to him for days when I get stuck in the cycle and I can fucking tell I already soured the relationship 4 months in. He knows I'm fucked in the head, I know he knows. I'm just waiting for him to drop the "I can't be with you" hammer on me and I think about that as I wake up every hour in the night from being painfully full to go downstairs and eat more food. I've put my life on hold since I graduated hs 2 years ago because I hated myself and now I've wasted 2 years hating myself even more. I'm so fucking humiliated and I feel stupid and completely dysfunctional. I don't know how to go back to school and I don't want to anyway, I want to get skinny and then I think I just want to die, because I know that it won't fix me.
Sometimes I feel like I've been self-sabotaging all this time, because at least if I'm fat then there's always a clear goal. I'm afraid of what my life will be like when I'm a size 2 and still a sad, lonely person stuck in her own paradoxical combo of narcissism and self-hatred. My home life will still be fucked, I'll still be socially non-functioning, my mental illnesses will still be there, I still won't be confident enough to go to school, my face will still be tired and average, and I'll still want to be dead.
[Intro] It really has been quite the roller coaster.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:33:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwqde/it_really_has_been_quite_the_roller_coaster/
---
[deleted]
why does she do this to me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:28:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwpol/why_does_she_do_this_to_me/
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http://i.imgur.com/bN8visp.png
[Help] Has anyone here been to overeaters anonymous?
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 113 | 17.7 ]
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:07:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwmtg/has_anyone_here_been_to_overeaters_anonymous/
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I'm not doing so well and I think I need some help. Counseling is not an option because I don't want my parents to spend money on it.
Has OA helped any of you guys? What was the environment like? Thanks
Extreme caloric deficit advice? (almost 2000 a day?)
/u/throwaway303303
Created: Sat Aug 5 23:07:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwms3/extreme_caloric_deficit_advice_almost_2000_a_day/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE binge when they're tired?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 5 22:57:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwl9o/dae_binge_when_theyre_tired/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else on here torture themselves w food porn??
/u/flatout_ [5'4 |110 lb | 18.9 | GW 100 lb | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 22:36:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rwi6v/anyone_else_on_here_torture_themselves_w_food_porn/
---
Hey everyone!! Firstly--inaugural post on here. I've really been appreciating all of these discussions/rants/conversations/etc., and just the space in general. So thanks for being you!!!
To the point, tho. Who else watches hours and hours of cooking videos on YouTube while fasting/restricting?? Do y'all read food blogs w beautifully lit photos and detailed (too detailed!!) recipes of dishes you could never bring yourself to eat??? I know I can't be the only one.
One of my oldest friends had a potluck birthday party last night, so I naturally made a multi-thousand cal oxtail and Swiss chard mac n cheese w gruyère, fontina, pecorino........... Guess who sat in a corner chain smoking and horking down raw celery the whole night 🙋🏻🙋🏻🙋🏻
[Discussion] What was it like to hit your GW?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 21:01:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rw33l/what_was_it_like_to_hit_your_gw/
---
Allow me to live vicariously through you.
[Goal] 2kg from no longer being overweight
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 20:48:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rw0sh/2kg_from_no_longer_being_overweight/
---
I'll get there in the next few days 😍
I've lost 5kg (11lbs) in about 3 weeks. I can't wait to get to my first actual milestone of 78kg.
Summer will be my bitch. 3 months to get down to 58kg 😍
[Rant/Rave] After years of 'I'll do it when I'm at my UGW', I finally booked a haircut.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 20:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvud3/after_years_of_ill_do_it_when_im_at_my_ugw_i/
---
It sounds so stupid as do most of my ED rationals.
But I've had very long hair my whole life and it's what I hide behind. My hair doesn't care about my weight. It's just not affected by it and it's been great.
But I've needed a decent cut for a while now. And a recent 2 week camping trip destroyed my hair since the water was very mineral heavy.
Anyway, I caved. So many things I promise myself when I weigh less. But technically I'm 20 pounds less than I was a few months back. So that's good. But I didn't feel I deserved yet. But I did it anyway.
It may not seem like a big deal, but it means I put myself first rather than my ED. Baby steps.
[Rant/Rave] Skinny girls everywhere
/u/jessiemariexx [5'9" | CW: 122lb | GW: ~115lb | BMI: 18.5 | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvsev/skinny_girls_everywhere/
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On vaca. Like a surplus of perfect women. How the fuck are we supposed to keep up
[Rant/Rave] I exist to make others feel better about themselves. Translation: I chewed on my contact lens in a middle of a binge
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:52:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvr9t/i_exist_to_make_others_feel_better_about/
---
Sometimes I don't know why I keep on going. B/p for second time today. I'm missing out on a friend hosting an event for a comedy improv show. I was binging and had dry eyes.
While blinking, my left contact fell out. Whatever, I'll find it later, I thought because I needed to finish binging. Then all of a sudden, I am chewing on something that had a weird texture. At first I thought it was a pickle in my sandwich, but yeah...it was my contact lens. And I picked it out, but only part of it.
I was fucking chewing on my contact lens. This is why they don't make realistic movies about bulimia/binging. They'll never be able to capture the tragic shame.
[Other] Lonely
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:36:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvohk/lonely/
---
I just recently got out of a long term manipulative relationship and I am just so damn lonely. I lost all of my friends while I was in that relationship. I used to talk to him constantly, and now I don't talk to anyone ever. My friends are gone, my fiance is gone, and all I have left is my shitty eating disorder and suicidal ideation.
[Goal] Closer to goal weight, emotionally numb
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 115 | BMI 20.4| GW 105| HW 160]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:32:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvnwf/closer_to_goal_weight_emotionally_numb/
---
This morning the scale read 111lbs. Now, I thought I would be absolutely ECSTATIC about this. All I've wanted for months is to be closer to my goal weight and in my head I know I should be excitedly celebrating. But all I did was stare at that number expressionless and numbly process it as another event. Because at this point I'm realizing the number doesn't matter, even if it's less than the day before. First it was 130, then 125, to 120, 115 and it just gets lower and lower until god only knows.
[Thinspo] Still not enough...15 to go
/u/That_O_N_E_Guy
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvmzs/still_not_enough15_to_go/
---
http://i.imgur.com/DRRmLS7.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I don't think I'm gonna do that again.
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 19:21:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvluw/i_dont_think_im_gonna_do_that_again/
---
Note to self:
If you're going to c/s a ton of food, make sure to not dump an entire pizza and a fourth and then some in your toilet at once.
You will probably start panicking because you're not used to clogged toilets.
That was not fun. Thank goodness I cleared it up and it wasn't that bad of a mess. :/
[Discussion] Something I've Noticed About This Community
/u/cats_is_cats [62" | CW 236 | 46 BMI | 194 lbs Lost | F vegan]
Created: Sat Aug 5 18:46:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rvfta/something_ive_noticed_about_this_community/
---
[removed]
[Other] My calculator is the only thing that keeps me sane
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F | 🍑 Kelkein]
Created: Sat Aug 5 18:08:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rv8pd/my_calculator_is_the_only_thing_that_keeps_me_sane/
---
I carry a calculator literally everywhere at this point. Everytime I eat more than I should, I pull it out and do a bunch of calculations to show myself that I can't mathematically have gained 5 kg from 1 day of bingeing. And sometimes, I just keep doing the same calculations over and over because seeing that I could lose x amount of weight in x amount of days by eating x amount of calories is the only thing that brings me the tiniest bit of happiness at this point.
So yeah, thank you, calculator.
[Humor] When you drink coffee to have a BM
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Sat Aug 5 17:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rv3qs/when_you_drink_coffee_to_have_a_bm/
---
And it gives you the annoying side effect of being REALLY CAFFEINATED 😝
[Rant/Rave] Today I destroyed ________
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 17:20:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rv00d/today_i_destroyed/
---
So I got this 5 year journal that asks you a different question every day for a year, and has 5 spots on every page for 5 years so you can look back on your responses.
Today's was "Today I destroyed ________" and since I had already had 1400 calories at that point (literally 30 minutes within waking up) I put "my calorie limit."
Then I ate everything else, and then I was gonna read a book (I used to read a ton but have fallen into the Netflix black hole), but then I fell asleep and am now eating everything again and watching tv.
So yet again, why am I like this 🙂🙃
Today I destroyed myself
Edit: if anyone would be interested in me posting the daily question, it could be kind of fun for us all to answer and discuss, since this is a totally safe space. Like the other day, the question is "what am I lying about?" It'll be pretty interesting to see if I'm still lying about purging at this time next year or in 5 years. Let me know 🙂
[Help] Freaking out a bit????
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Sat Aug 5 17:12:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ruyiw/freaking_out_a_bit/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] idek what now
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW 134 | GW 125 | UGW 118 | -7 | 20F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 16:56:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ruvkr/idek_what_now/
---
basically all the most annoying and inconvenient things that could happen in the last few days have happened and I just give up tbh so I thought like "okay I'm gonna go get Thai food and eat ALL OF IT" and maybe I'll feel less anxious and shit. well nope I didn't even finish half of it and the half I did eat just upset my stomach... what good is binging if I can't even feel a little better before I feel like total shit :(
Daily Food Diary! August 05, 2017
/u/daeboo [5ft2/87.2lbs🌑]
Created: Sat Aug 5 16:36:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rurv1/daily_food_diary_august_05_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 05, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
Please forgive this shoddy daily food diary as the more experienced mods aren't around at the moment, and I'm not nearly as competent.
[Rant/Rave] Eating out with friends
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 15:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ruiav/eating_out_with_friends/
---
I know this has happened to a lot of people but as I've just gotten back into a restriction phase for the first time in almost a year it's never happened that I can remember.
We we're going out to eat after class and I only made one request, that we go somewhere with calories on the menu. Not hard right? All fast food places and a lot of sit in places have it on their menu now a days. Well they decided to go to this Mexican restaurant and I was outvoted, so I had to guestimate amount of chips and salsa and queso had which I SUCK at and then when I just got a margarita they literally kept bringing up oh your not eating? Why don't you just get a little something. It's so. Fucking. Frustrating. Im already here trying to do all this mental calculation of ounces of queso I don't need the constant reminder that I have no idea how much I've eaten and can't risk any more. Next time I'm just going to say no to going out like I should have in the first place. (Also 80% sure this one girl has an AN and she was the goddamn leader of the 3 ringed circus trying to shove more food on me). Like, would it be so fucking hard to just leave the fat girl alone?
[Humor] these chips are DISGUSTING (humor)
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Sat Aug 5 15:24:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rudoa/these_chips_are_disgusting_humor/
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(on mobile, humor flair pls)
My mom just bought a bag of Chicken and Waffle potato chips from the grocery store. Are they disgusting? ABSOLUTELY. Am I going to binge on them next time I'm alone with them? YOU BETCHA.
[Help] Google keeps telling me different answers! How many calories in 8 ounces of chicken?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 5 15:19:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rucly/google_keeps_telling_me_different_answers_how/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone ever wonder how much their hair weighs?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sat Aug 5 14:53:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ru7a6/does_anyone_ever_wonder_how_much_their_hair_weighs/
---
I think mine must be at least .8 lbs. the fact that i even think about this means i am crazy
[Help] HOW IS THIS FUCKING POSSIBLE.
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sat Aug 5 14:38:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ru4hb/how_is_this_fucking_possible/
---
I haven't really lost weight all week. I am between 117.5 and 120.5. I am going to go crazy. I eat less than 900 cal per day and have an extremely active job. I restrict to the point of being faint and exhausted. Aren't plateaus for normies?
EDIT: MY BOYFRIENDS SCALE WAS OFF. BOTH OF MINE SAY I AM LIKE 3 lbs lighter ha
When you think you're hot
/u/Hiyoheyyo
Created: Sat Aug 5 14:11:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtyu7/when_you_think_youre_hot/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] To everyone waiting for a whoosh:
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sat Aug 5 13:21:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtoi0/to_everyone_waiting_for_a_whoosh/
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Monday: 159.2
Tuesday: 158.2
Wednesday: 156.5
Thursday: 156.2
Friday: 154.2
Saturday: 151 (but I had another BM so it's less than that but I already ate so idk what I weigh)
I was 159 for like a month before this.
Nine pounds over the course of four days. I didn't know if I believed in the whoosh be before but holy shit guys keep pushing onward and hold on tight.
[Discussion] Feeling hopeless
/u/gracefullystupid
Created: Sat Aug 5 13:16:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtnet/feeling_hopeless/
---
I'm turning 23 in 23 days. For the past few months I've been losing the same 10 pounds. I wanna lose at least 20 so badly by my birthday, I mean it's not a weight I'm gonna be happy with considering I could be a lot smaller by now, I could've lost the 50 pounds I gained since my last birthday and more if I would just control myself, and say no to my fiancé sometimes. But it's a start. Have any of you had to lose any last minute weight? Like 20 pounds in less than a month? And succeeded? I need motivation :c
[Rant/Rave] An binging nightmare
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sat Aug 5 12:45:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rth2g/an_binging_nightmare/
---
Ugh, I realize there's a typo in title
I just finished binging in my car...I went to start my car to go home and battery is dead. Called roadside assistance. They'll be here ETA 1.5 hrs.
I cannot do this. I can't purge in the public restroom here but I'm along a highway so there are no options. The only solution I have is to keep on binging til they get here. I hope they come sooner rather than later.
Fml.
[Rant/Rave] My new relationship has brought my ED more power
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 5 12:31:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rte81/my_new_relationship_has_brought_my_ed_more_power/
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[deleted]
[Help] Chronic constipation is really affecting my quality of life
/u/athrowaway76250 [5'4" | CW: 102 | BMI: 18.03 | GW: 96 | SW: 120 | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 12:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rtbec/chronic_constipation_is_really_affecting_my/
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Sorry if that's TMI, but I don't know what to do :(
This has been going on for several months now, but gotten worse in the last few months. I used to "go" every day without fail, and now it's usually every other day (sometimes every *three or four* days if I'm unlucky). I *really* don't want to start relying on laxatives because I know that can become a habit, and I know it can mess up your digestive system to use them too much. I don't want to up my calories either, but I know this is probably a result of not eating enough. And it's making me miserable. Is there anything I can do to help alleviate this? Maybe focus on food with lots of fiber?
[Rant/Rave] It's like I don't even care that I can't walk xD
/u/Shermaow
Created: Sat Aug 5 11:35:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rt2en/its_like_i_dont_even_care_that_i_cant_walk_xd/
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Sprained my ankle pretty badly playing sports today, I couldn't walk so a team mate carried me to the bench for ice. Later on we were headed to the car to go home and she said "You're so tiny! I picked you up and you basically don't weigh anything!"
Guys. I've never been called tiny before. I'm practically giddy. Over a sprained ankle xD I can't even lol
[Humor] Just picked up an order of binge food, and the waitress goes "I packed an extra order of bread for you guys!"
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -41 | 27F | UGW: 135]
Created: Sat Aug 5 11:07:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rswm7/just_picked_up_an_order_of_binge_food_and_the/
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Ha, "you guys"
[Discussion] what are yall doing this weekend?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rss0h/what_are_yall_doing_this_weekend/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate cameras :/
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:39:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsqto/i_hate_cameras/
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I was doing a body check in front of my bathroom mirror today, and I was really digging the way I looked. I had this black bandeau and floral cheekini on and I wanted to send it to a friend saying how good would this look as a bikini combo. And as soon as I turned on my camera, I immediately gained at least 20 pounds. Ugh. Never mind feeling good about myself for a quick sec.
[Rant/Rave] "and we'll have a ___ to share"
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 100 lb | GW 93 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:36:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsqav/and_well_have_a_to_share/
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NO WE WON'T. I don't want fries, I didn't order fries, and no I won't share them with you to make you feel better about yourself. You didn't even ask me before ordering and asking for two plates if I wanted them. So I sit there and finish the broccoli I ordered and you haven't touched a single fry THAT YOU ORDERED but you keep telling me to have some. Then you say that you're full and don't want this huge plate of fries but don't want them to go to waste, so you push them across the table and tell me to have them as the group of kids at the table next to us start to whisper to each other about me and the scene you've created. Long story short is, if you have something to say, say it. Stop playing games with me please and trying to manipulate me into eating high calorie foods.
Sorry I just needed to get that rant out about a friend, or people in general, but in the way I wish I could say it to their face you know? Its just so embarassing when people think it'd be easier to coax me into it if we're at a restaurant and I already have social anxiety in certain public places especially ones involving food. It draws enough attention when everyone else orders >600 cal and I get a small side of some steamed veggie and everyone loses their mind and makes it a personal responsibility to feed me.
[Rant/Rave] Why do popcorn companies hate me????
/u/Andersoncooperspenis [5'6 | CW:😭 | GW:115 |-29| F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rspui/why_do_popcorn_companies_hate_me/
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Ok, a little rant. I'm just so confused why popcorn companies make it so difficult to count calories??? I'm looking up the calories in Jolly Time Healthy Pop and they give both the unpopped calories and then the calories in 1 cup popped popcorn? Who even eats unpopped popcorn out of a microwave bag?? and a serving is 5 cups popped, or 2 tablespoons unpopped. So why not give the calories for the 5 cups popped rather than just one cup? There's even 12.5 cups in a bag apparently. And they dont state how many tablespoons unpopped when they give you the unpopped calories. GAH.
Also they say there is 20 cal in a cup, but then 110 in an "undisclosed" amount of unpopped popcorn. But if a serving is 5 cups, 5x20 is only 100? So am I just stupid, or??
I have this problem with Orville Redenbacher's too. Why does popcorn have to be so good, yet so confusing to figure out nutrition information? It's my favourite food 😭
[Other] New progress checking obsession...I discovered that my left arm is bigger than my right though
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsobz/new_progress_checking_obsessioni_discovered_that/
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https://imgur.com/dFyI17k
[Rant/Rave] I don't think this is what they ment
/u/PineapplePizzaLover
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:25:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsny5/i_dont_think_this_is_what_they_ment/
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On mobile. Please tag as Binge.
SO is working all day. I have been tasked with clearing out the kitchen, rearranging it, and putting away our wedding presents.
I also signed up for a weight loss thing threw work. Well this week is throwing out/setting up your kitchen for success.
I have already eaten soup, chips and salasa, the rest of the Ferrero cocoa filled eggs, and I'm eyeing the bag of coffee nut m and m's.
I don't think this is what anyone ment. I need to find something to stop this binge. Ugh.
Hope everyone else is having a better day than I am.
[Rant/Rave] Can we get a big 'Thank you' to our mods? You guys are amazing!
/u/mypure [5'8 | 20 | 🍑: mypure]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:25:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rsnta/can_we_get_a_big_thank_you_to_our_mods_you_guys/
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Thanks for making our community what it is.
[Discussion] What's the worst thing you've ever overheard someone say about your ED?
/u/iamLuc [5'5 | too fat | -27 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 10:15:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rslwk/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_ever_overheard/
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I just overheard my stepmonster tell my father that he needs to talk to me about how it's "not okay for her to devour all the ice cream and chips or whatever"... and I'm feeling pretty fucking shitty. I haven't even touched ice cream in over a month so... it's kinda like she's been holding onto this for months. I feel like a total gluttonous pig.
On the bright side, I only have ten more days left here and then I'm moving into my dorm... so I'll be out of this shitty fucking environment with all this shitty fucking junk food. I had already kinda wanted to fast but this kinda has driven me over the edge and I think I'm gonna try to fast until I'm out of here because... I can't face the idea of eating in front of her again.
(I'm on mobile so I can't flair it... if one of the mods could flair it as discussion that would be great :D)
[Help] Why the fuck are my nails purple???
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sat Aug 5 08:42:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rs3nq/why_the_fuck_are_my_nails_purple/
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Sorry if this is a really dumb post. I've never restricted hardcore before this week. I had 900, then 385, then 415, then 815. Now my nails are purple.
[Other] Unexpected ED side effect.
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:46:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrtqk/unexpected_ed_side_effect/
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I started narating my binges in a Jamaican accent. I don't know why. If I go more than 3 days under 400 calories I have these huge binges and I'd throw litterly everything on a wrap. And I'd narate it. Season them tomatoes mahn. God what's next
[Discussion] How to be healthy with an ED?
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:38:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrsgz/how_to_be_healthy_with_an_ed/
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[removed]
[Discussion] high endurance stamina activities while fasting or restricting??? [discussion]
/u/black_cofee_body [5'5 |CW:149 |GW:110|F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:28:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrqwu/high_endurance_stamina_activities_while_fasting/
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Does anybody do like high stamina activities besides exercise, specifically I want to get back into dancing and want to take classes. The thing is Im a big restrictor and faster. I mean if I eat alot I will freak out lol, but I know I probably need to eat something in order to keep up and not faint. I take Primatene for energy will it help me out?Has anybody done this while restricting?
[Rant/Rave] My roommate is better at having an ED than me according to my fucked up brain
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | 🐋 | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Sat Aug 5 07:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrpdi/my_roommate_is_better_at_having_an_ed_than_me/
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My roommate/best friend is in a downward spiral because of some past trauma that's been coming back to haunt her lately and she's been restricting and purging and like I've tried to be the "concerned friend" and try to encourage her to be healthy and not go down this path, but also I'm just like, so. Jealous. Because she's lost a bunch of weight already and she's only like x lbs from her goal weight (which she decided on because I had once told her my goal weight and she wants to be skinnier than me and I know that's the reason even though she's 6 INCHES TALLER THAN ME) and meanwhile I've been stuck in a binge cycle for like a month and can't stop and I've gained so much back and I just hate myself and watching her do this just makes me feel like even more of a failure than I already did and you guys I'm just so upset and yet I still can't stop binging and I feel like I'm just doomed to be the fat friend forever
Okay, sorry, rant over... I just had to get that out and nobody knows about my eating problems other than y'all so I guess just thanks for being such a supportive community 💕
[Tip] Interested in Recovery?
/u/resurrectedpiranha
Created: Sat Aug 5 06:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrkmx/interested_in_recovery/
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Hi guys, I'm mostly a lurker here, but thought I should give a heads up.
My ED started when I was 12 and peaked when I was 15. At my peak I realized how big of a problem it was and actively looked for a way out. I Googled treatments which were(still are) unaffordable to me. I ended up applying for and received a treatment grant from Project Heal, which funded my stay for a month in a residential teen ED treatment house. My ED is still there, but I have stopped purging completely, it's not the center of my life and I'm much, much happier than I was. I would suggest only applying if you are serious about recovery, because it won't be easy, still isn't. Even if you're not interested, if you know someone you think might benefit from this, spread the word! I don't know the founders personally but one of them interviewed me and we talked through e-mail a couple times. They are both recovered and truly helpful. Here's the link: http://theprojectheal.org/apply-for-grants/our-scholarship-progra/
They can help pay for inpatient, outpatient too btw.
PS I know this sub is called ProED but I've seen some people interested in recovery
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! August 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 5 06:16:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrgcm/stupid_questions_saturday_august_05_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for August 05, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Other] This is an autopsy done on an obese woman
/u/burgundyburning [5'8 | 51.6 kg/113.6 lb | BMI 17.04 | GW: 51 kg/112 lb]
Created: Sat Aug 5 06:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrf2j/this_is_an_autopsy_done_on_an_obese_woman/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jn67tdEGY4
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.05
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Sat Aug 5 05:55:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrdg3/thinspiration_805/
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http://imgur.com/a/qoauH
[Discussion] Best/worst CSing foods?
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Sat Aug 5 05:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrbr1/bestworst_csing_foods/
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(discussion flair)
Yeah I know pretty much all my posts are about csing but hey that's how I resist binging when I'm restricting. But hey! Let's talk about the best foods and the worst foods to do it with!
Personally, I find bread the easiest to spit and peanut butter is the hardest (so sticky ew)
[Rant/Rave] Victory, bitches.
/u/jessiemariexx [5'9" | CW: 122lb | GW: ~115lb | BMI: 18.5 | 24F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 05:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rrbbn/victory_bitches/
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Celebrating my self control here for a minute y'all.
I'm out of town for the weekend with my boyfriend. We go to a lot of breweries and there's usually CRAZY good food, like to die for kinda shit. Drunkenness + delicious smells usually leads to a huge binge that ruins the rest of my weekend. I held back though. We got drunk last night and he ordered food (fries with parm and beer cheese dip, a pound of hot chicken wings with bleu cheese crumble, loaded nachos with queso, cilantro, pickled onions and pork belly 🔥). They looked **amazing** but I didn't even try a single fry because I knew it would go downhill. Boyfriend binged HARD and felt terrible after. No sex for me. Lol.
One more day of self control to go. Lots of walking happening thankfully too.
[Rant/Rave] i hate food ads (caution: rant spiral)
/u/kinaadman [CW: FAT | GW: 90lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 5 04:56:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rr6dy/i_hate_food_ads_caution_rant_spiral/
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they're everywhere and i hate them. they're all over the internet. they're all over facebook and instagram and just EVERYWHERE as if people posting pictures of the food they're eating isn't enough???
and why does every fucking get together have to involve food? can't we just hang out at the gym or something? unless you want to hold my hair back while i purge this latte?????? a+ bonding experience 10/10 would do again
i want this to be my last purge and i want to be able to just be skinny and i am fucking done with eating i am fucking done with food i am fucking done done done done done. people keep telling me i look "better" now that i've gained weight but they don't understand how every time they say that it's like a knife through the eye and into my skull
i hate food
[Rant/Rave] i feel like this is an unpopular opinion but i really liked ‘to the bone’
/u/sugarpiIl
Created: Sat Aug 5 03:58:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqzp6/i_feel_like_this_is_an_unpopular_opinion_but_i/
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not much on my mind but i was looking through the discussion thread for it and saw a bunch of people didn’t like it which was surprising to me
[Rant/Rave] So I was horribly craving a chicken pot pie tonight.
/u/attenuatingpixie [5'7 | CW 125 | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 03:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqys4/so_i_was_horribly_craving_a_chicken_pot_pie/
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But I resisted buying one of those frozen ones at the store. (It was 500 or 600 calories per itty bitty pie, what the fuck???)
Anyway, so then I was browsing Netflix and decided to stop rewatching the same shows on repeat and watch one of the movies I have in my queue. I settled on "Heathers," which I've never seen (and now hate myself for because holy shit it's fantastic.)
So there's a scene mentioning bulimia and they say something about seeing today's lunch again (don't remember the wording, not gonna rewind it) and it immediately cuts to chicken pot pie slop that looks like puke and then the camera zooms out to show that it's actually someone scraping leftovers into the trash.
Still lost my appetite.
Disgusted.
Cracking up because of course fucked up ED brains sometimes laugh at ED humor, right? This was one of those times. Also the irony.
[Help] Please help me calculate the calories in this ground beef!!
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 134.8 | HW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 02:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqnwa/please_help_me_calculate_the_calories_in_this/
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Hey everyone, I'm preparing some ground beef and don't know how to calculate the calories. All it says on the package is "US Beef Ground top sirloin". I was thinking of weighing it raw and logging it as 93% lean raw ground beef (it doesn't say the fat percentage on the package so this is an estimate). Does this seem right? Would it be better to weigh it cooked?
Thanks guys
[Goal] One month without alcohol
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 02:08:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqnr0/one_month_without_alcohol/
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I've been drinking SO OFTEN lately & used to drink maybe once a month. I need to stop because of all the cals, plus drunk food, plus it's not a good habit for me (addictive personality/history of alcoholism in the family). Anyway, trying to make one month a goal. In the past this would have been so easy and hardly noticeable, now I'm genuinely going to have to avoid it. Anyone else need to avoid alcohol?
[Rant/Rave] I'll keep a kitten healthy before myself
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sat Aug 5 00:30:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rqbts/ill_keep_a_kitten_healthy_before_myself/
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I was going through my Reddit upvotes and saw multiple posts about sad, emaciated, abandoned kittens being nurtured back to health that of course made the front page and made me immediately upvote.
Funny thought came to my head that I'm sure someone else can relate to. Would I help an underweight kitten to gain weight/health? Absolutely.
Would I help myself? ...Nah.
Helps that cats don't typically don't have gender dysorphia, an eating disorder, or a lack of direction/general problems in their life that they use control to nurture.
Guess that's kinda stupid. Part of me says the kitten probably matters more then I do lmao
[Tip] Tip - For UK folk, Wetherspoons has alcohol cals on their menus
/u/fuckthislol [173cm|skinny|low 15's BMI|F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 00:15:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rq9xx/tip_for_uk_folk_wetherspoons_has_alcohol_cals_on/
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Unfortunately not the calories in cocktails which is annoying af, but it has the cals listed for the different shots and shit, I'm not sure about like beers and ciders and wines though, cause I didn't look at those.
But yeah so you can see like which gin or rum shots have exactly how many cals, which was actually a nice surprise cause meant I could drink like double gins + diet tonics and know I was getting drunk for under ~130 cals Woooo!
[Help] bloating/food weight is killing me
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Sat Aug 5 00:03:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rq8e3/bloatingfood_weight_is_killing_me/
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Ugh. I don't know if this happens to other people but anyway, I tend to gain weight due to the types of foods I eat. It goes down if I eat other foods at the same level of calories, so it isn't real weight, but it makes my stomach look so large and I hate it. It's not just after eating either, it persists for the whole day. Anyone else know what to do for this problem?
Some of my favorite low-calorie foods are causing this problem for me so it's a big deal -_-;;
[Tip] PSA: Halo Top on Cartwheel expires tomorrow!
/u/coffeejournalist
Created: Fri Aug 4 23:08:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rq0bv/psa_halo_top_on_cartwheel_expires_tomorrow/
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https://i.redd.it/48uuulc7rudz.jpg
[Help] What the hell is the difference??
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Fri Aug 4 22:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpxv7/what_the_hell_is_the_difference/
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[removed]
[Humor] Possible Male ED Representation? I'm Not the Only One That Sees it, Right? [xpost r/comics]
/u/jerriwrites
Created: Fri Aug 4 22:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rps1j/possible_male_ed_representation_im_not_the_only/
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https://i.redd.it/8ngq1bnyhudz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Bf commented on my food
/u/backbendsandburritos
Created: Fri Aug 4 22:13:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rprhb/bf_commented_on_my_food/
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My boyfriend thought it was funny to make a comment about the amount of sodium in my food hahaha yeah it's really funny so funny that I threw my dinner and my drink away and am hiding in the bathroom chugging water before I go to bed so I'm not hungry hahaha so fucking funny
[Rant/Rave] Being naturally curvy...
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:42:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpmft/being_naturally_curvy/
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I have the typical curvier body type and a big butt (in a good way?). Sometimes it is good and I feel happy with my body. My boyfriend likes my body and my family always says I have a sexy body and if I lose weight I will look like a twig and I will lose my nice features. However, I used to be bullied a lot at school when I was younger and called fat because of my body type and it just made me so insecure about how I look. I am just so torn between the beauty standards of my ethnic culture and of American culture. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think I look good! But increasingly, I find myself hating my body more and more. I've lost 30 lbs in the past year and everyone says I look amazing but all I can think about is the jiggle on my arms and how my thighs are too thick and how I wish I had a thigh gap and a flat stomach.
[Discussion] Symptoms of your ED?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpjj6/symptoms_of_your_ed/
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Do you guys have dry skin? Brittle, peeling nails? Burned throats?
How fast/slow did they come on? Did some symptoms arrive early and some late?
My skin seems to be getting dry about a month into my latest bout of heavy restriction, and I'm worried for my hair.
Also tips to help are very welcome! I'm thinking about adding omega 3's?
Anyone from Massachusetts?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:19:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpiry/anyone_from_massachusetts/
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[removed]
[Help] My parents Want me to be anorexic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:16:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpiak/my_parents_want_me_to_be_anorexic/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Ramble/rant because no one else gets it
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:12:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rphkf/ramblerant_because_no_one_else_gets_it/
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and bc I don't have therapy until Thursday >n>
To preface, I'm in an odd situation right now financially - in short, I'm on disability income, but I live with my parents in an upper-middle-class neighborhood, but I have to pay for everything besides rent, utilities, and car insurance with less than $500 a month.
That being said, I'm trying to budget food (and everything else, but food is the hardest thing for me to budget), and I feel like a child because I am having to use Yugioh cards (yes, the trading card game from the late 90's, which is still popular among nerds) to motivate myself into learning how to spend less on food.
Basically, this month I'm putting everything I save on food toward buying Yugioh cards. And, in typical ED fashion, my grocery list is convoluted and specific. The goals are to be able to afford Yugioh cards and to be able to keep up my budgeting after this month.
I just feel so immature and undeveloped and so behind for being 25 years old. Why is this so hard for me? Why can't I just spend less on food? Why do I need fucking trading cards to motivate me to learn how to be an adult?
[Rant/Rave] Worthless
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpg5v/worthless/
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https://i.redd.it/higphi715udz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] ED Almost Discovered (again): Restaurant Edition
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 21:03:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpfub/ed_almost_discovered_again_restaurant_edition/
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So, my fam went to dinner today at this restaurant on a dock, with half of the tables inside and half outside. I ordered a salad and had to order an entree...which I caved and ordered pasta (my weakness). So everything is fine as I pass off my salad as being inedible from too much dressing and had like two bites Then the pasta comes out and, you guessed it, I binged like I had never eaten pasta in my fucking life lol.
Since I then felt like a whale I decided to purge since at the restroom inside (there was another outside) it was a single stall. So I go in, purge fast af, flush the toilet, wash my hands, and get back to dinner and everything seems fine. Nobody suspects a thing!
Then all of a sudden I hear the waitress say they need help in the girls bathroom ASAP. Like literally yelling across the restaurant...and she looked at me. My father and brother start laughing so hard because they knew I just got back from the bathroom and I almost started freaking out because I was afraid I clogged the toilet or something and our waitress saw me walk in. A minute later the waitress said something about cleaning up the throw up....there was a pause and I felt so much anxiety, but then she clarifies in the bathroom stalls outside and they rush outside to clean up the other bathroom. Thank God. Seriously. That was too close for comfort...
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit I just consumed 1000 calories of wine
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 20:41:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpc20/holy_shit_i_just_consumed_1000_calories_of_wine/
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Fucking wine. It tastes so good and goes down like water. Turns out drinking a magnum bottle to my face means I'll have to fast for the weekend.
[Humor] The best type of friend to have.
/u/syntheticseasalt
Created: Fri Aug 4 20:38:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rpbd3/the_best_type_of_friend_to_have/
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https://i.redd.it/cwjvkl0c0udz.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone know of any low cal wine/beer?
/u/xniks101x
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:54:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rp3xn/anyone_know_of_any_low_cal_winebeer/
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So I drink a bit, since I turned 21 I've noticed I've been gaining weight despite restricting my food intake. I feel like it's from wine and beer...
Anyone know of any low calorie versions of beer or wine ? My friends told me to just switch to hard liquor but I don't like the buzz from it compared to the kind produced by wine or beer...
Thanks so much !
You are all beautiful.
[Other] Farewell, Halo Top...
/u/lasirenexx
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:30:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rozng/farewell_halo_top/
---
I'm having my last pint this weekend - chocolate chip cookie dough - and then we shall part ways forever.
Going back to strict keto. Even the tiniest amount of sugar makes me retain water horribly and I must be at my GW within a month.
I'll spend tomorrow planning my boring meals, since any variety seems to activate binge-mode.
[Rant/Rave] New low point for me
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:21:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6roxyq/new_low_point_for_me/
---
It's hard for me to type this. But I basically had my worst purging session so far. I b/p 3 times within 2 hours. The last time was puking in the shower with my fucking mother on the other side of the wall. I hate myself. The only fucked up bright side is that I pretty much emptied my stomach completely and ended up a pound lighter than when I woke up this morning. I feel so crappy so I reasoned I could use the electrolytes in a Gatorade (80) plus I have to work 9 hours tomorrow :(
[Rant/Rave] When you're drunk
/u/heartbrokenandok [5'7"-ish | 189 | 29-ish | -32.8| F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 19:01:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rou69/when_youre_drunk/
---
And you want another drink, but you didn't even budget for the first drink.
And now you can't have halo top because you had a gin martini. And you just want a gin and tonic, but how many calories does the tonic add? Because you're pretty sure the bar doesn't have diet tonic. Because when they drink cocktails they aren't concerned with the exact calorie count of the drink. Because normal people don't worry about that.
And you wish it was possible to be both normal and thin. But that's impossible......
[Rant/Rave] Today was the best day ever
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F | 🍑 Kelkein]
Created: Fri Aug 4 18:30:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6roo5m/today_was_the_best_day_ever/
---
It's been a while since I've been this happy, I can't believe it.
First of all, I stopped a binge today. And this is *huge* to me. I've literally never been able to stop mid-binge before. I did eat more than I was planning. But I could've had *way* more, and knowing that I chose not to makes me believe in my willpower again. That's honestly all I've needed to get out of this binge cycle.
Second, I discovered today that I wasn't 169cm (5'6") but, in fact, 174cm (5'8"). Not only is it cool to be tall, but my BMI is actually lower and it just makes me so happy. That was a welcome surprise, that's for sure.
Also my two favorite characters in a show are developing a friendship and that's really neat.
Anyways, just wanted to share my day with you guys, and I hope you had a good one too! :)
[Rant/Rave] Thinspo irl
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 17:57:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rohsb/thinspo_irl/
---
I'm at this event in an arts district and I tried to look cute in a flowy backless dress and I was already feeling kind of fat from a mid-day 1800 cal binge (tried to purge a few hours later, didn't work) and then I got vegan BBQ at the event thing and am seeing all these super skinny hipster girls while stuffing my face. I saw this girl who is pretty much my dream, super skinny black pants (thigh gap obviously), converse, old ratty tie dye shirt (way too big even though it's like the smallest size available), burnt out looking hair (think Courtney love), big sunglasses, a cigarette, and most of all, an I don't give a fuck vibe. My ideal person, and I'm just here stuffing my face. And so many girls just like her. Fuck me better drink
[Discussion] Wedding dress drama
/u/Peggyofthehilll [5'8"| 140 | 19% | GW:120]
Created: Fri Aug 4 17:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6roczk/wedding_dress_drama/
---
I feel as though this past year it has come and gone in waves, I've been happy and less restrictive but in turn as my day creeps closer I'm surrounded by 360 mirrors and people poking and tightening dresses :( and I finally picked one out and I have been having severe anxiety over the fact that someone it'll be too small on the day off. I'd like to maintain but don't know how to tread the path. Any other brides stressed out there? How are y'all keeping it together 🙃
[Discussion] Do you think recovery is possible without professional help?
/u/ggreatgoat
Created: Fri Aug 4 17:30:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rochu/do_you_think_recovery_is_possible_without/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rochu/do_you_think_recovery_is_possible_without/
[Intro] finally breaking 7 years bingeing, 1st post
/u/yourtypeofmetal
Created: Fri Aug 4 16:40:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ro2ii/finally_breaking_7_years_bingeing_1st_post/
---
hey everyone. i just discovered this group a few days ago and i had been putting this on hold for a while, so this sub gave me the final push. :)
basically, six years ago i was extremely overweight, like 2 pounds away from obesity basically. i started dieting which spiraled into extreme exercise and restriction, and i soon had almost gotten to my UGW.
then i started going through a lot of rough shit in life and i turned to bingeing. for the past five years i've been in on/off phases of bingeing and normal eating (usually unhealthy overeating) and i've gained a lot of weight back, i dont even wanna say how much, but like clinically overweight again.
i've tried doing proper diets but always ends with me bingeing bc i have an extremely addictive personality, so i though the only way to stop it is to start restricting again, especially since stopping restriction is what triggered this super long binge period.
i am really optimistic and hopeful. my disgust with myself had contributed terribly to my anxiety and depression, and i believe if i can manage to lost weight it will take a huge mental strain off. hope i will be a success story for you guys :)
and if anyone wants to talk or anything, my PMs are always open <3
[Rant/Rave] Doctor visit gone wrong
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Fri Aug 4 16:30:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ro0e9/doctor_visit_gone_wrong/
---
Finally go to the doc after 10 years because of severe stomach pain. I have been waiting here over 4 hours and politely asked when my turn was at the 4 hour mark. I have no way of knowing if this is normal.
Hunger pangs getting real. Can someone sneak me a Quest bar? Thanks.
[Help] Best way/device to determine calories burned during workout?
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Fri Aug 4 16:11:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnwmq/best_waydevice_to_determine_calories_burned/
---
I need to start keeping track of the calories I burn while working out. MFP gives me a good idea but with things like swimming, hiking, or Fitness Blender workouts, I need more guidance to make sure I'm hitting my deficit.
I'd love any suggestions.
[Thinspo] If I don't look like this in two years let my family and friends know I failed myself
/u/beepitymeep
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:48:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnrf9/if_i_dont_look_like_this_in_two_years_let_my/
---
https://i.redd.it/gfxvp21oksdz.jpg
[Other] Holy shit I get my period...
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:44:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnqix/holy_shit_i_get_my_period/
---
.... after it being AWOL for months. I have lost about five pounds in the last couple of weeks and roughly doubled my exercise, so this leads me to question:
AM I NOT AS BROKEN AS I THOUGHT?!
Holy shit I got my period...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:43:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnq8p/holy_shit_i_got_my_period/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Done with this Recovery Bullshit
/u/bokoblin-buddy
Created: Fri Aug 4 15:14:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnjwi/done_with_this_recovery_bullshit/
---
I finally reordered the scale my ex took when he found out. I just reordered a fitbit bc omg I am done. I am stuvk in this pseudo-recovery place where I just seem to justify binge after binge. I have gained back 75 pounds and I am sick of this. I need this weight off now, and now there isn't anyone to stop me.
[Other] Two different people
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 113 | 17.7 ]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:59:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rngnr/two_different_people/
---
When I'm restricting, I feel light, comfortable, and happy. I weigh less, waist is smaller, skin is better, etc. I enjoy going out with friends and spending time with my family.
When I'm in a binge cycle, I feel fucking sick and bloated. Hunched over in pain, unable to concentrate, and sleeping to ease the discomfort. I don't want to see anyone.
I'm currently stuck in a binge cycle and I keep telling myself that tomorrow it is going to end. But it doesn't, the urge keeps coming back and I keep giving into it...
[Discussion] Best/Worst of Restaurants
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 70 | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rngjv/bestworst_of_restaurants/
---
Saw this in FPS and wanted to post here, because all of us lovely people combined are essentially a walking encyclopedia of restaurant meals and calorie counts.
I'll start with my go-to:
* **Cracker Barrel**
Best- catfish fillets (130 per fillet of spicy grilled). I usually add 10-20 each for oil. For dessert, really the only thing is the fruit cobbler split between two people (roughly 250 per person).
Worst: Man this is hard. Any of the super fried and breaded stuff like chicken fried steak meals. The worst desserts are definitely the s'mores or coca cola cake (~~but you can't stop me from my one true love~~)
* **Sonic**
Best: Mini mozzarella sticks (180 for 2, but filling) and Diet Cherry Limeade (25 for a large)
Alternatively this could also be the worst? Especially if you get a ton of mozzarella sticks. The worst drink for me is a lemonade (I also love it with blackberry, ugh) because a large is >500cals, and it sounds healthy but it isn't.
[Help] Please help me not binge right now
/u/cry1000x [5'5" | 131 lbs | 22 BMI | F | Vegan 🌿 ]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:56:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnfxr/please_help_me_not_binge_right_now/
---
Having one of those "well your plans got messed up might as well say fuck it to the entire day" mentalities. Been sobbing all morning because my dad didn't leave the house like he was supposed to so I could do my home workout. Then my bf schedules an appt for his car last second so I have to stay home with our dog instead of go to the gym for cardio. And I'm so fucking hungry. And now I have to be alone in our home for the next few hours. And no I absolutely cannot eat just a little something it will unleash the beast plus I'm trying to work off all the weight I gained after 13 days straight of binging (and no I'm not talking I ate 700 cals over, closer to 5k. As shameful as that is). Just please help me. Anything.
I'm currently drinking a Monster Zero and have a diet Dr. Pepper in the fridge. I'm just so scared of what I'll do if I even open the fridge. Help.
[Discussion] What's the average age of ED sufferers on Reddit?
/u/LadyCatTree [5"3 | 121 | BMI: 21 | No Goal | 30F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:55:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnfv7/whats_the_average_age_of_ed_sufferers_on_reddit/
---
I'm curious because I'm a 30 year old woman, and I've tried joining discussion forums around eating disorders but felt very out of place because the majority of posters seemed to be teenage or early twenties girls. It made me feel awkward, like I was old enough to be a parent to some of them and either they wouldn't be interested in my experience, or I wouldn't be able to relate to theirs.
I'm just interested to know if there are other people my age or older out there, going through the same thing. I'm on the cusp of a relapse right now and it'd be nice to hear about other people in the same boat, balancing a career and a relationship and a shit ton of other responsibilities, with feeling like.... this.
[Rant/Rave] I'm sad and I hate myself
/u/creamybae
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:52:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rnf5t/im_sad_and_i_hate_myself/
---
I had feelings for this guy, and he liked me, too. He was my best friend, and also an online friend. But because I was insecure, and also other circumstances, I stopped talking to him. Over the past 3 months, we've been slowly deleting each other off of stuff that could keep us in contact, mostly him. In the back of my mind, I knew not talking to him was the right thing to do.. but I couldn't help but keep hope that everything would get better and we could start talking again like in the past. Today, he deleted me off the very last thing that connected us, so it's completely over. I'm just so crushed and sad that I lost him. I don't have anywhere else to post this, I'm sorry
[Goal] Starting a 7 day liquid fast!
/u/aoedeXLI
Created: Fri Aug 4 14:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rn81w/starting_a_7_day_liquid_fast/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] New Low: CSing addition
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Fri Aug 4 13:45:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmzbt/new_low_csing_addition/
---
(rant/rave flair)
I feel so disgusting... I chewed up fruit snacks and pretended to sip coffee, I was really spitting them into my coffee cup. In a hotel room full of teenage girls!! I decided grabbing a pack and heading to the bathroom would be too suspicious so I did this instead... I hate myself lmao 😂
[Rant/Rave] Just took body check pics and want to throw up
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Fri Aug 4 13:08:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmq7w/just_took_body_check_pics_and_want_to_throw_up/
---
I was looking at the sticky thread for body check/selfies and everyone is so gorgeous and literally perfect. I just took a body check pic and want to KMS!!!! Plus the breakfast burrito my mom made me was literally 510 calories. Guess who's not eating the rest of the day!!!!! Sigh.
[Discussion] DAE try on younger siblings clothes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 13:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmpg3/dae_try_on_younger_siblings_clothes/
---
[deleted]
[Thinspo] Dear god just the thought of wearing this stresses me out [thinspo]
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmkf5/dear_god_just_the_thought_of_wearing_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/8nz2wo4vnrdz.png
[Goal] 40lbs down, 40 more to go
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:31:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmh30/40lbs_down_40_more_to_go/
---
http://i.imgur.com/4LCoE0I.jpg
[Help] 🙃🙃 Everything is Fine 🙃🙃
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:06:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmaz5/everything_is_fine/
---
[removed]
[Humor] A poem dedicated to grapefruit
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 129 | GW: 113 | 20.9]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:05:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rmarm/a_poem_dedicated_to_grapefruit/
---
[removed]
[Other] Here Are Some Of The Unhealthiest Chain Restaurant Meals In The US
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 119.2 lbs | 29F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 12:02:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rma0u/here_are_some_of_the_unhealthiest_chain/
---
A solid 90% of the time, I try not to ~project~ my ED onto other people and their food choices... but then I read something like this and I realize, honestly, I'm not that far off the mark on my food paranoia.
(It's literally just a list of horrible food combos actually sold at real restaurants, and their nutrition facts. It's horrifying.)
https://www.buzzfeed.com/sallytamarkin/put-a-cheeseburger-on-it
[Rant/Rave] Lost pounds Not inches
/u/SomethingsGottaHave
Created: Fri Aug 4 11:04:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlv9e/lost_pounds_not_inches/
---
My scale has consistently showed that I weigh 123 now for a week and I used to weigh 129. And I look thinner in the mirror, however my measuring tape still shows that I'm the same in inches as before the weight loss.
It's frustrating because I've been restricting (not super heavily, but enough to be proud of myself) and I feel better but I still can't fit into my smaller clothes!
I'm just confused how I've lost weight but not inches at all. And it makes me question my scale and my eyes lol. Am I actually fatter than I thought and not realize it? Maybe I'm expecting to much from this little weight loss.
[Humor] When you have an appointment with the nutritionist and you need to gain weight
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5"| 100.4 | 18.64 | -32lb | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:59:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlu1t/when_you_have_an_appointment_with_the/
---
https://i.redd.it/lh2oy8b55rdz.jpg
[Other] Song that I associate with my ED. I think it's supposed to be about a boy, but all I hear in the lyrics is about my disordered eating. Give it a listen if you're a hipster POS like me.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:49:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlri0/song_that_i_associate_with_my_ed_i_think_its/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpWvlnMqLXc
[Thinspo] Tall girl thinspo! 5'10" and 135 lbs (my UGW)
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:44:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlq5g/tall_girl_thinspo_510_and_135_lbs_my_ugw/
---
https://imgur.com/m58iEGs
[Goal] Ah! It finally happened! I'm going to celebrate...
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:28:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rllwc/ah_it_finally_happened_im_going_to_celebrate/
---
...by continuing to fast, lol.
Woke up to 135.4 on the scale, baby! That was my current short term goal, so I'm pretty damn pleased. I still look like shit, but happy to finally see some progress again.
[Discussion] immune system/side effects of eds
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Fri Aug 4 10:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rll19/immune_systemside_effects_of_eds/
---
yall...... my immune system is fucked up.
i dont have lenugo or osteoporosis or anything from all my years of my ed but fuck. im sure my body hates me with how often i get it sick. i recovered for 6 months this year and didnt get sick once. ive been restricting (200-600) for two weeks and ive been sick for 8 days straight even with dayquil and nyquil. i feel awful but its still not enough to make me stop. i hate my life and im so scared itll only get worse like ill get a runny nose one day and just die because i wont have anything to fight it off with.
do you guys have any damage done to you from your ed?
[Help] Can I Get Some Advice?
/u/imemilyaurzella [5'5" | 122.6 | 20.4 BMI | GW: 110]
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlc71/can_i_get_some_advice/
---
[removed]
[Help] I just posted something but it disappeared?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:42:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rlafa/i_just_posted_something_but_it_disappeared/
---
[removed]
[Intro] just a boring intro
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:40:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rla0o/just_a_boring_intro/
---
[deleted]
[Other] NSFW - Intimate grooming to enhance body shape
/u/lasirenexx
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:39:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rl9vp/nsfw_intimate_grooming_to_enhance_body_shape/
---
Has anyone ever tried this? Normally I go bare, but I'd like to grow it out a a bit and trying to figure out which shape (triangle, reverse triangle, landing strip) would both make my waist look smaller and enhance my small thigh gap (goal: thigh gap one could drive a truck through 😂) but maybe make my outer hips look curvier so my waist looks less boxy.
Any ideas?
[Grooming styles](http://immodell.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Different-Pubic-Hairstyles-easy-hairstyling-jYOi.jpg)
[Discussion] [Thinspo/Discussion] Who's your short girl thinspo?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 09:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rl4wc/thinspodiscussion_whos_your_short_girl_thinspo/
---
I keep finding myself obsessed with girls who are at least three inches taller than I am, so their look isn't achievable for me and it makes me so sad. So who are your favorite petite thinspos (under 5'4)? Bonus points if they're pear shaped. My favorites right now are Lily Rose Depp and Natalia Dyer.
[Help] I'm starving myself to die - nothing else
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:29:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rktke/im_starving_myself_to_die_nothing_else/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I love water weight...
/u/KandiGamez
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:17:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkqyj/sometimes_i_love_water_weight/
---
Last week was a terrible week for me, I plateaued literally 1 pound away from my GW. I was stuck for like 2 days, even with doing miles on the elliptical and staying at under 500 calories a day. Friday after getting into a terrible argument with my husband, I decided to have a few drinks, and of course that led me to binging...and then THAT binge episode led me to binge (and drink) for the ENTIRE weekend (and Monday)...UGH!
I was so upset and scared when I finally had the courage to weigh myself on Tuesday. I stood on the scale, looked down and.. I had FREAKING GAINED LIKE 14 POUNDS!!! Now I know that's impossible, but still...It made me realize how stupid it was of me to be upset about being stuck at that 1 pound for 2 days.
Thankfully, after a few BM's (I know, gross) and going hard on the elliptical and staying under 400 calories I am back to only 3 pounds away from my GW.
Yes it's still a bit more weight than I wanted, but my god when I saw that 14 pound jump I cried so hard...So many, so much hard work, and discipline down the drain because I had LOST CONTROL over 1 pound. If I had just waited at least 1 more day I would have prob hit my GW... and thank god I only gained water weight, because it's so easy to take it off...
I hope you all have a Lovely Binge free, Purge free Friday <3
TL;DR: Don't lose control when you plateau, or when your idiot husband (or wife) decides to stress you out and argue with you.
[Tip] Best ranch dressing in the world no calories/fat/sugar/carbs and it's delicious ❤️
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:10:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkpi1/best_ranch_dressing_in_the_world_no/
---
https://i.redd.it/b5ns6h40bqdz.jpg
[Other] Tasty Garlic Fried Chicken Wings
/u/HungryAndrew
Created: Fri Aug 4 08:07:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkonr/tasty_garlic_fried_chicken_wings/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX6sHwDaPDo
[Goal] Stopping purging...wake up call
/u/Newbeginningtake2 [5'2" | 83 | 15.79 | 52lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:46:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkk9z/stopping_purgingwake_up_call/
---
https://imgur.com/h11h6cP
[Rant/Rave] "I don't think so." "I don't think so." "I don't think so." "I don't think so."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkjnu/i_dont_think_so_i_dont_think_so_i_dont_think_so_i/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Nobody's ever believed me
/u/tarantulahospital [5'7 | -25lb | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkjiz/nobodys_ever_believed_me/
---
I wish the "feeling like an imposter" part of eds didn't exist. I mean I wish they didn't exist at all but god.
Nobody has ever believed me. Even my best friend doesn't believe I have a full on ed. My therapist told me the money my family wastes replacing the food I binge on, the times I've fought with them and the times I've felt like death purging and being scared to leave the house because of other people being turned away based on my appearance basically was no big deal and I'm just gonna grow out of it!
Sorry for that run on sentence. But yeah, it sucks.
[Intro] I never introduced myself?¿
/u/napalmlife_ [5'6" | 104 | 16.78 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 07:24:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rkfva/i_never_introduced_myself/
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Hey everyone! My name is Aura and I have an eating disorder.
Seriously though, you guys are the only ones who understand. I am SOSOSO glad I stumbled across this sub.
So a bit about me??? I'm a 20-year-old college student from the US who loves art, writing, and film. I have had my ED in full flare for about a year now? I feel like mine started strangely. I have always been underweight. I maintained the same weight throughout my first year of college but last year I had an emotional breakdown (something something I ended up in the hospital) and gained 13 lbs...I was consistently around 103 lbs for years until this. When I realized this, I spiraled down into a deeper depression and started starving myself. Now I just can't fucking stop. I get a rush from restricting and seeing any real change on the scale. I never seem to be satisfied with my weight and idek what my goal weight is right now. I weighed myself this morning and I am 103.5 lbs at 5'6".
Well anyway, that was super long winded. It would be nice to get to know you guys!
(I still have to add my personal flair but I'm on mobile soooo I'll get to it later)
[Rant/Rave] Starving in hopes for a change???
/u/ciggiesmakemetwiggy
Created: Fri Aug 4 06:43:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rk7pi/starving_in_hopes_for_a_change/
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So growing up I was a loner and sort of awkward and nerdy,different, and artsy. I grew up in a time where that was a bad thing not like today how being a nerd is awesome, back then I was picked on or basically ignored by people. I started eating less and less and fell into an ed because of loneliness,depression,past sexual abuse, trans issues (im male to female), and trying to get attention from someone like a cry for help, But Instead started getting compliments about my weight and people were actually getting a bit jealous and I got addicted to the attention. It fed my ED even more. I let myself go for a bit and gained weight and the same stuff happened I was ignored or picked on. The thing is I would see the other people hooking up going to parties and having awesome lives and I wanted that life so bad I feel like I wasted my life and now I'm still kinda young enough to want to try to attain this life. I want the attention and the attraction, I want to hook up and to date after years of being ignored and lonely I know it's sounds pretty messed up but I don't know it's fueling my ED. I know pathetic right? I live in a city where its hipster af and i found a place where i fit in finnaly and i see the skinny hipster girls with awesome social lives being nerdy and different and at the same time having awesome social lives
It's fueling my need to starve myself again hoping it will give me that attention I seek and people will finally want to be around me and maybe finally have romantic and sexual relationships even if it's based off of looks god I'm shitty. Is this pathetic???
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! August 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 4 06:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rk27u/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_august/
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This is the weekly picture thread for August 04, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 4 06:13:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rk272/daily_food_diary_august_04_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 04, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Out to dinner with a friend
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 05:18:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rjsn8/out_to_dinner_with_a_friend/
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Ate so much. Mousse. Cheesecake. I was so good all day. I'm so angry with myself.
I did my first successful fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 4 04:47:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rjnzv/i_did_my_first_successful_fast/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 8.04
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Fri Aug 4 04:06:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rji6l/thinspiration_804/
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http://imgur.com/a/Km4oM
[Discussion] What's your most recent fucked up ED moment?
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57.7kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Fri Aug 4 00:47:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rirhx/whats_your_most_recent_fucked_up_ed_moment/
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You know those moments that made you go "holy shit this is fucked up".
For me it was this morning when I did my morning shift at my workplace. Each shift is just one person alone, so there wasn't anyone there to stop me when I spent the whole shift chewing and spitting snacks in the storeroom.
[Help] Visiting a friend; how do I stay on track?
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Fri Aug 4 00:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ring5/visiting_a_friend_how_do_i_stay_on_track/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] You guys.....
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:49:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6riixa/you_guys/
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I SURVIVED MY BIRTHDAY!!!! I am on a 1400 calories a day ( anorexic in recovery) and I ate 1550 calories. That may seem like a lot to you guys, but I am known to over eat on special occasions. Like 2000+. I am also 88 pounds today (4'10 140 to 88 ) today, so I lost some weight I guess...😊😊😊 Happy birthday to meee!!! How was your day!!
[Rant/Rave] Frustrated I can't even eat free food now
/u/burgundyburning [5'8 | 51.6 kg/113.6 lb | BMI 17.04 | GW: 51 kg/112 lb]
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:38:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rihds/frustrated_i_cant_even_eat_free_food_now/
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So we had pizza at work. This was free food, I wouldn't have to go get my lunch, and I could eat my lunch for dinner. I'd save some money, it's win win.
Before all of this, I could have had 3 slices mindlessly, maybe cram a fourth. How I stayed at 54/55 kg is beyond me, I ate disgusting amounts of food.
Now I get to stare and wonder if my intake will allow it. Mentally argue if that unplanned tea really will screw up my intake. Look around if there's a computer where the screen is not super obvious, and I can punch in "calories in one slice take out pizza". Wonder if I could burn off that *at most* 150 cal I'm seeing (hehehehe, nope, not even close in reality, 280).
I had one slice. Grease doesn't taste as good as I remember.
[Discussion] short girls
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:23:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rif45/short_girls/
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I am really short and it's funny because I have a friend who is 5'7" and 110lbs which doesn't sound too skinny when she tells people but when I was 5'1" and 91lbs everyone freaked out!
I hate how much of a difference a pound or two makes though. :(
But I do use my "short"ness to say I have a tiny stomach/appetite. I also like that I don't really have to think about my size I cna just always order XXS or OO or whatever the smallest size a website has. Just wanted to discuss the woes of an eating disorder with other short people.
[Discussion] Pro-Ana pen pal
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Thu Aug 3 23:00:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ribc2/proana_pen_pal/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Do we really burn 61kcals/hour sitting?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:56:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6riao4/do_we_really_burn_61kcalshour_sitting/
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Because I was reading an article that says we do and honestly I don't believe it for a second. That would mean sitting for 12 hrs (me) would burn 732 calories???? What do you guys think. (Also to my fellow knitters out there you supposedly burn 102 kcals per hour you knit)
[Intro] new here, wanting to know how things work!
/u/yourtypeofmetal
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:51:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri9xa/new_here_wanting_to_know_how_things_work/
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hi everyone! i've just found this thread and i really want to get back on track. backstory, i went from clinically obese to within 10lb of my GW, but a looot of bad shit happened in my life around the same time. unfortunately i started binging like crazy and then went back to normal eating and no exercise, so i'm pretty much back at the weight i started. i don't look at all obese realistically, but i'm definitely on the wrong side of 'thick'. i really wanna get back into restricting and exercising, and getting back to the weight i was.
so, how does this really work? are we allowed to make daily posts about food/general thoughts, or is there like a daily thread where we do that? also how do i add flair haha!
[Other] back after a terrible week
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:45:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri8xy/back_after_a_terrible_week/
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for some reason my ED behaviors like... calmed down?? for a while and i was having 3 meals a day, the whole shebang. but then today I realized I missed my therapy appointment and now I really feel shitty about myself for wasting my lovely therapist's time, so back to restricting. i feel like it's the only thing that gives me some control over my life.
the irony is that i go to therapy to help treat my food issues 😂 anyway i missed this sub. hope you guys are doing good, or at least as good as this freakshow we call life can possibly be
[Rant/Rave] After reading your stories, it finally happened to me!
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:22:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri55a/after_reading_your_stories_it_finally_happened_to/
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I've been reading stories from various members regarding the funny things that strangers say to them about their looks and weight and it finally happened to me :) Ever since I started losing weight I've become very social. It's very unlike me, but meh why not do something different... Anyway, I was at a social event when I randomly started chit chatting with a girl and a guy next to me. The three of us were discussing our drinks, and the girl was very surprised to hear that it was my second glass of dark beer. She said that I was "just as skinny" as she was and she can only drink 1 light beer. She was pretty slender. I'm finally in the category where slender strangers tell me that I'm thin :)
In the meantime, I feel too flabby to call myself slender or thin. Being smaller just means that I'm skinny fat instead of fat fat. I really should start going to the gym, but I'm afraid that I will gain weight. That always happens to me when I start working out.
[Rant/Rave] Return of the binge!
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 22:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ri3o7/return_of_the_binge/
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Today I was going to fast until dinner tonight, because of last night's binge debacle. Well, around 10 am, I had a single tortilla chip. That was a mistake. I had some more tortilla chips, and mentioned I didn't have any lunch (or breakfast) and my coworkers were hounding me so I went to a gas station to get some fruit and a pickle. Should have stopped there. Instead, I went back in and got 3 donuts, which aren't even vegan. Then when I got back to work, I got a bag of chips. Then I went to dinner with my family and had a full size pad Thai. AND THEN I went to the gas station again and had 3 more donuts and some weird Oreos candy bar.
LOL 3500 calories total.
Tried to at least purge the donuts the second I got home and nothing but a little blob of jelly came out. 🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂
kill me
[Rant/Rave] Something goes right, so of course I fuck something else up
/u/Rickticia
Created: Thu Aug 3 21:23:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhuiz/something_goes_right_so_of_course_i_fuck/
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As a high restricter, I struggle to go lower, but today I was able to stay at 725 (net 324). Of course, that also meant I had an extra shitty "run" today. Fml, why does it have to be one or the other? 😡I feel so goddamn weak.
[Discussion] Does anyone else avoid sexual situations because of their body?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Thu Aug 3 21:03:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhqoi/does_anyone_else_avoid_sexual_situations_because/
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Tg for this sub. So I've only had a few sexual encounters before (I've never gone 'all the way'), and they've all been random/drunken and a result of a college party, bar, etc. After every time though I panic over what the guy thought of my body. I know guys just want sex and don't reallyyy care in the moment what you look like while they're drunk, but I can't help thinking that's why we only hooked up one time or they didn't reach out to me after (I know that's irrational).
I'm going into my junior year of college and I've decided that I'm not gonna let myself be in any sexual situation with a guy until my body looks the way I want it to. The mediocre drunken hook up is just not worth the anxiety over my body that follows. I also figure that when my body looks good the guys that want to talk to me are generally better looking. Weird motivation to lose weight I know, but does anyone else think like this?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] I wish I didn't waste years not being skinny
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rho2f/rantrave_i_wish_i_didnt_waste_years_not_being/
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I know the title sounds fucked up, but I let myself stay unhappy for years by not being at the weight I wanted (I'm still not at my goal weight mind you). I went from being a skinny/average kid and preteen to having a BMI of 23.5 throughout high school (so the heavier end of the 'average' spectrum), and then a BMI of 29 from senior year of high school until the end of freshman year. Now I'm a 26.1 :/
I'm now having a lot of regret about high school and my past two years of college. If I had been at the weight I wanted since the beginning of high school, I would've been so much more confident. I would've been more outgoing, would've actually put myself out there with guys, I wouldn't be sad when looking at pics of me from the past 7 years, and so many little things would've been different. I know I'll be a lot of confident when I lose the weight, but it sucks knowing I could've been happier if I had just lost the damn weight
[Rant/Rave] How I got over binge cravings and now restrict easily
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:42:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhmjx/how_i_got_over_binge_cravings_and_now_restrict/
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I fasted for 18 hours and then felt so sick from hunger that I had two ricecakes and a banana (185 calories total) and then realized that me eating that little food now was way better than me bingeing later.
Now the past two days I have averaged at 400 calories a day. Last week I was eating 2500-4000 a day because of a bad binge cycle.
My cravings are almost completely gone. I have so much self control and will power knowing that I can do this and I can lose weight and I have the power to change my body.
One thing that helped so much was saying "sure I really want that cupcake now but when I reach my GW that will still exist and I can have it then and it'll feel even better then cause I'll be skinnier." Also I made a list of foods I am going to eat on my next binge day (September first) :)
[Discussion] Anyone else feel ~normal~ for a few days like "haha guess I don't have an ED" then go back to being your messed up disordered self?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhkxg/anyone_else_feel_normal_for_a_few_days_like_haha/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Told someone I was binging?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 20:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhgyl/told_someone_i_was_binging/
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Hey guys nice to see you again. Went through a period of recovery. Guess what didn't work. Also guess whose boyfriend who made her feel like recovery was worth it broke up with her. Me...
So I am doing keto and usually it's going really well except for when I drink the sweet sweet vodka... this idiot ate 3 caramel m&ms and was like "fuck it I'm out of ketosis anyway". Finished off the rest of the bag (20-30 more) and then went to the grocery store to buy a bag of chips and a wunderbar (fuuuuuuuck those are good). Anyway I was texting a friend while I was driving (no judgement it's a small town and back roads) and it came up that I was going somewhere and he asked why. I "jokingly" said because I wasn't in control of my life and that I was going to buy junk food. He said more power to you and I couldn't fucking let it go. Why couldn't I let it go? I said something along the lines of there's a more immediate way of purging (than sex for exercise) and now I totally regret it. It was meant to be like a joke. Now I'm sure he knowssssss and even if he doesn't he knows I went to get junk. Fuck not even my roommates know when I sneak out for binge food.
[Other] what I ate today
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rhaz3/what_i_ate_today/
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http://i.imgur.com/sGjkhao.jpg
[Rant/Rave] This ED keeps me alive
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:35:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh92v/this_ed_keeps_me_alive/
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I have suicidal thoughts that play in the background, like white noise, always there. It was there before the ED, and I don't expect it to go away if I were to recover. I'm lonely, socially awkward and unable to enjoy things. I enjoy nature because I know it's beautiful and it's a different kind of quiet... but it doesn't make me happy. When I talk to friends, I struggle to focus. I don't know if I can love anyone, so how can anyone love me? And without love, what is the point of living?
But losing weight keeps me centered. It keeps me alive because I need to be alive to keep losing weight. It isn't dependent on others loving me. It isn't dependent on me being a decent or interesting person. It's just a math equation. It helps me get up in the morning. It keeps me alive.
My legs are tingling after 3 b/p today. I'm in so much emotional torment, but I can't die, because I have to lose weight.
I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but here I am, alive.
[Rant/Rave] I just want to wither away
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:32:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh8di/i_just_want_to_wither_away/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Shout out to my fellow bulimics
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -41 | 27F | UGW: 135]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:25:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh709/shout_out_to_my_fellow_bulimics/
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I'm currently laying in bed reading different menus from local restaurants and planning my binge for Saturday when I'll have the house to myself. I'm thinking a rotisserie chicken plate with rice and beans from the little bodega next to the laundromat, a large container of beef lo mein from the shady-looking but super inexpensive Chinese buffet, and sides of creamed spinach and bacon jalapeno mac and cheese from the BBQ place. Then I'll purge as much as I can and probably feel really bad about myself and snuggle my cat and watch Moana and cry at the ending.
I *could* be really productive and paint the bathroom, or weed the garden, or go for a run, but who am I kidding?
I feel like I see way more representation of anorexia on this sub, and for sure I can relate to some posts but there are a lot that I just can't. So to my fellow bulimics (and anorexics, and BED's, and EDNOS, et al), what are your weekend plans?
[Discussion] [discussion] Breaking a fast with a binge?
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:20:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh5ue/discussion_breaking_a_fast_with_a_binge/
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I'm talking a 3000 cal binge. A Thanksgiving dinner binge. Have you broken a 24-hour or 3-day fast with a binge? Did you survive? Is your butt okay? I want to hear your stories please.
[Rant/Rave] Home sick = bingeing like there's no tomorrow
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Thu Aug 3 19:12:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rh4e1/home_sick_bingeing_like_theres_no_tomorrow/
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I hurt my neck putting on my shirt this morning (fml y lord) so I'm at home sick. At first I was like fuck yeah gonna fast sO HARD TODAY and then I got bored and ate a bowl of oatmeal in an attempt at #health which inevitably lead to 3 tbsp peanut butter and some avocado toast and another bowl of oatmeal and I just made a huge bowl of pesto pasta and it's not even the afternoon yet so yep so it's goING REALLY WELL.
Just kind of thinking I might say fuck it and treat myself all day even tho I'll hate myself tomorrow like right now I ...care less than I normally would? But yeah I could really go some chips. Like if this day is ruined already I might as well right 😂 Why do we all use this same logic?
[Discussion] [discussion] in response to ED coming in "waves"
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:30:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgvlf/discussion_in_response_to_ed_coming_in_waves/
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There was a thread a few weeks ago asking about people's EDs and whether they experienced them in waves. I have been giving this a lot more thought lately. I don't have an addictive personality, but I do have a fixative personality. I can get majorly obsessed with certain things for months and months. Then after a while, the fire in me dies down. I remember a whole year and a half before I moved all I did was look at apartment layouts and Craigslist ads for apartments for hours on end. I budgeted for life in a new city. God it was embarrassing but I couldn't stop. My boyfriend catching me constantly looking at the same ads over and over on my phone. Then one day I stopped. Then it was on to the next thing, whatever it was. It's like this with ED too. Sometimes I have a wonderful relationship with food and I feel healthy and strong and like I love the progress I've made. Other times I obsess at the gym. More often now I am obsessing. At some point I'll stop, but who knows for how long. I don't know why I'm like this.
[Thinspo] Thinspo but also how I feel rn
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 27F | 21.23 | CW: 136 | LW: 110 | GW: 115]
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:11:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgqsx/thinspo_but_also_how_i_feel_rn/
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https://i.redd.it/agvjtd0v2mdz.jpg
[Thinspo] Thinspo but also how I feel rn 😭
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgqhi/thinspo_but_also_how_i_feel_rn/
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https://i.redd.it/2f4i2j7g2mdz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm about to lose it.
/u/andareavante
Created: Thu Aug 3 18:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgnch/im_about_to_lose_it/
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One of my friends decided that for tbt it would be a great idea to post photos from when I was younger and like 175lbs (I'm 4'10). I want to vomit. I hate myself. And while I can see how far I've come it's like my mind has hopped into some sort of fucking time machine and it's like I'm right back in that body.
I hate this.
I hate me.
I never want to fucking eat again.
Michelle Carter is blaming anorexia and bulimia and using them as justification for murdering her boyfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 17:32:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rgh1f/michelle_carter_is_blaming_anorexia_and_bulimia/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I am such a failure
/u/BohemeWinter
Created: Thu Aug 3 17:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rggvh/i_am_such_a_failure/
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So for the past decade or so I've been skirting the line between "clinically disordered" and "subclinical". I usually "eat normally" at 900-1100 Cal day but have peaks of proper restriction down to 550-700 a day, for a few months at a time. At the end of last year I was restricting to 600 cal a day from August of last year to maybe Jan, and was at my lowest weight if 127 lbs. (I'm 5'10") And functioning quite actively, caring full time for my toddler nephew. Then in Feb I was "normal" but perscribed Ritalin which suppressed my appetite til I crashed, and experienced proper extreme hunger, and would end up caving. But it was only once a day. So from Feb to May I gained and hit 134. Ok deep breaths. In Late may/June was Ramadan, I took a drug holiday to fast cuz Ritalin makes you faint if you're not hydrated or at least kinda fed, and boy oh boy did I restrict. By the end of Ramadan I averaged 330 cal a day n was starting to lose. Got back down to 129. Then Eid n then studying and Ritalin again and I've been living w extended family and their thing is they only store a few snacks n they cook luch n dinner fresh n try not to have leftovers (cuz everyone is a picky eater n hates leftovers.) Since my studying schedule keeps me nocturnal, and idk not having control of my food this way? Plus the meds.... I started night bingeing... Not like proper binges but I guess binges if you have an Ana type 2 mindset..... I finally found the scale last week and I'm 139. I can't Begin to explain how distressed this has me like I fucking hate myself. I was so close to my UGW of 115 and now I'm 140 I'm a fat fat inept cow I can't study without a medication I can't sleep without a medication I can't get a job cuz I sucked at picking a career path n went into medicine so I'm surrounded by functional, fashionable, intelligence, EFFECTIVE people and when I try to be thin by being crazy I can't even do that either. I miss my ribs and I miss enjoying starving and how the hell do you gain 10 lbs in 3 weeks and it won't budge. I'm seriously this close to purging routinely again like I can't do this I want to rip all my fat off n flush it down the toilet who needs skin anyway we're all the same underneath. Failing that I just want to wire my jaw shut and cry and cry and cry and never stop crying.
I really just want to cry.
[Help] Need someone to talk to
/u/samsick66
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:41:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rg5ye/need_someone_to_talk_to/
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I feel so alone even though I have a boyfriend and family. Like I have nobody that I can talk to about my ED and it sucks. Snapchat me if you wanna talk I guess? SC- sammied233
5'7" 150lb
GW 118lb
UGW 110lb
[Rant/Rave] Motivation clothes. Spent $50 on clothes that dont fit me
/u/bizmo96
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:26:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rg2jh/motivation_clothes_spent_50_on_clothes_that_dont/
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I had an Urban Planet gift card laying around for years and I finally decided to use it. I ordered a top, two body suits and a dress, all larges.
They don't fit.
I have no idea what my flair is because I never go on the desktop version anymore, but I'm 5'3 and 210 pounds. Very muscley, but still fat AF. I hate my body. But I took all the tags off purposely so I can't return them, to force me to lose weight for these clothes. I am in ED hell right now.
💔
[Discussion] Can we have a thread where employees of popular restaurants/ food service answer questions and comment the best/ worst choices on the menu?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:24:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rg1zr/can_we_have_a_thread_where_employees_of_popular/
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For example, I work at Red Robin
Best:
Light lemonade: 5 cal a serving
Double tavern burger no bun no cheese extra veggies is around 350-400 cals and cheapest burger on the menu
All kids menu items are safe to me with a side of fruit
Worst:
Almost all burgers
The chicken strips are around 1000 cal
The menu is huge so if you like RR ask any questions and I'll do my best to help you out!
[Rant/Rave] anybody else hate seeing regular people eat?
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 16:16:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfzzl/anybody_else_hate_seeing_regular_people_eat/
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sorry if this comes off very cranky, i almost fainted so im v mad about having to eat in order to study but!!! sigh
maybe im just a weirdo but i cant stop being fascinated at how normal people eat without beating themselves over it or going through huge rituals to feel Safe eating and whatever other stupid bullshit i do.
watching skinny people eat is almost torture, though. im talking like bmi 17-19 girls who buy an ice cream cone, give most of it to their boyfriends then brag about how much sugar they eat. or girls who give away half their food because oh my god im just so full!!! even if its just a cup of fucking watermelon
meanwhile im sitting there, taking as long as humanly possible to eat my low fat greek yogurt, beating myself up because i added 2 tsps of nuts instead of 1 tsp (like it even makes a difference), looking down at my fat fucking thighs, wondering if the thigh gap i saw this morning is real or not because i dont know what my own body looks like anymore.
why do they get to be the way i want to be without even trying. why. why did i have to be born into an obese (+ abusive, because of course) family that never taught me good eating habits. and on top of that, get a bunch of health issues that make it harder to restrict as much as id like.
just my fucking luck, i guess :/
[Discussion] What is the silliest food you've ever panicked about?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:15:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfkbh/what_is_the_silliest_food_youve_ever_panicked/
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A question inspired by the fact that my Starbucks stops brewing decaf Pike Place roast (5 calories) at 4:00, and I got there at 4:13, so I had to get a decaf Americano (25 calories) and the 20 extra calories *absolutely ruined my entire day*.
[Other] what I ate today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:05:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfhsw/what_i_ate_today/
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http://i.imgur.com/ieMe1XS.jpg
[Other] There are only 70 calories a bag!!!
/u/napalmlife_
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:04:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfhjp/there_are_only_70_calories_a_bag/
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https://i.redd.it/e8nis97w7ldz.jpg
what I ate today (8/3)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfgyh/what_i_ate_today_83/
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http://i.imgur.com/dBW6E80.jpg
i need a friend :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 15:00:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfgii/i_need_a_friend/
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[removed]
[Help] Anorexia to binge eating? I really need some help right now
/u/QuornLasagne [🌸 All aboard the binge train | choo choo 🌸]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:57:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rffuy/anorexia_to_binge_eating_i_really_need_some_help/
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During the past 6 months I've been severely limiting my calories to around <800 a day, along with exercising during the week. I managed to keep my restriction under control, with the occasional "binge" every few weeks (looking back now, none of my binges were true binges, just "normal eating"
My weight went from 57kg to 41kg (bmi 15.5) and it began getting harder and harder to lose and maintain control - I also moved in with my boyfriend during this time and felt extremely out of control around food because I wasn't the one doing the cooking (his family cooks) and my mealtimes completely changed.
Last week I just broke. I don't know how it happened or what triggered it but I experienced what its like to truly binge and I've been out of control since. It started with a bowl of cereal after dinner because I was still hungry, and then another one that I snuck up to my room to eat, then a secret peanut butter jelly sandwich along with crisps and chocolate. I told myself it's a one off and I'll get back on track tomorrow, but that didn't happen.
It's not small binges either, it's 5000 calories worth of junk food everyday until I feel sick and can't eat anymore. I'll eat and eat and all I'll think about is where I'm getting my next fix from and what I'm going to eat. Yesterdays binge consisted of 5,106 calories worth of pizza, muffins, doughnuts, chocolate bars, icecream, alcohol and sugary drinks. Today I ate a sandwich, cream cheese bagel, cream eclaire, sharing size malteasers, pop tart, crepe, carrot cake, ramen, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, crisps, and probably a bunch of other stuff I've forgotten.
I don't know where this post is going anymore but what I really want to know is, has anyone else experienced going from one extreme to the other while trying to attempt recovery? I tried eating normally but it's just flipped to the other side and I have no clue what to do anymore. My doctor has referred me to an ed specialist but the waiting list is so long and I have no one else to turn to. I'm so terrified of becoming overweight but I can't stop myself from eating. I feel so out of control right now
[Goal] WOOSH
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:55:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rffap/woosh/
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I've REACHED MY GW!!! 6LBS IN 3 DAYS BECAUSE OF A GIANT WOOSH. IM SO STOKED ON THINGS. Only 8 lbs to my Ugw omfg what even.
(For my peaches I'm ok mostly)
[Rant/Rave] Finally bought a scale after being terrified for ages, and...
/u/greensquarequilt [5'1.5 | 81.4lbs | 15.74 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:54:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rff2f/finally_bought_a_scale_after_being_terrified_for/
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I have posted in a few threads about how I am a wimp and was terrified of buying a scale because of how obsessive I thought it would make me. So I finally worked up the adrenaline and ordered one on amazon yesterday afternoon and I thought I would have a whole week to prepare myself before it got here.
Well, I just got home from work half an hour ago and guess what was at my doorstep. So I just got my construction level and found the most level spot in my apartment, and stripped down and weighed myself.
Freaking 82.8lbs!!!!!!!! New BMI is 16.01!!!!
I still have to update my flair but like, I was so right in the sense that I am probably going to weigh myself every 3hrs like I used to lmao oh well.
[Thinspo] Saw a beautiful bride on r/weddingplanning wearing a "cheong sam", so I looked it up on google and found some unexpected thinspo!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 117.4 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:48:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfdi0/saw_a_beautiful_bride_on_rweddingplanning_wearing/
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http://imgur.com/a/ksE37
[Goal] So proud of myself! I haven't logged my exercise, but this is a definite improvement from the massive binge I had last night.
/u/andareavante
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfclf/so_proud_of_myself_i_havent_logged_my_exercise/
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https://i.redd.it/2nszmbni4ldz.jpg
[Other] Alone kinda feel
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:44:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rfce4/alone_kinda_feel/
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Isolated even in this sub
I feel like a hypocrite irl because I work in healthcare and the past week I saw a case of severe anorexia as in this patient's liver is dying and her heart is barely pumping at a regular rate....
Meanwhile I'm a bulimic and yet I find it so so hard to relate to peeps in real life and in this sub more and more and it sucks ass
I'm not the type to post thinspo on this sub, or cal counts or needing an ED buddy or even talk about seeing thin people around me (cool if you do that it's just not me anymore I guess)
At this point I just kind of have this mindset of oh I'm alone and oh damn, I guess that's how it is and it's ok. 👌🏻
Sometimes I wonder if that's what being jaded in life means but I see people at work like that one girl and I find myself genuinely wanting to be there for her. I'm so silly.
[Rant/Rave] |rant| this is so stupid why am I even bothered
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rf68x/rant_this_is_so_stupid_why_am_i_even_bothered/
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I left a bag of frozen shrimp out on accident and they thawed so now I can't weigh them accurately.
I'm giving them to my dad so they don't go to waste but fuck, shrimp is one of my go-to safe proteins, I *just* went grocery shopping, and I got one meal out of a bag that was supposed to last me like two weeks. Why can't I do anything right
[Tip] If you're broke like me a sale like this is a god send, I need to restock my Diet Pepsi stash.
/u/TummyRumblz [5'8" | CW: Too Much| LW: 146 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 14:04:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rf1pc/if_youre_broke_like_me_a_sale_like_this_is_a_god/
---
https://i.redd.it/ado8ihq6xkdz.jpg
[Help] People who work overnights - how do you organize your meals, exercise, sleep, etc etc?
/u/befakehappy
Created: Thu Aug 3 13:28:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rescb/people_who_work_overnights_how_do_you_organize/
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I used to work daylight hours, 7-4 daily. When I'm on my dieting game I had a really rigorous routine - workout/healthy breakfast before work, healthy packed lunch, a planned out dinner, optional workout after, and I had it worked out to where I sort of intermittent fasted because I would eat dinner early and breakfast right before work, so it was about 14-15 hours between meals. I was dropping weight and my life felt all in order. Food rules my life so much that when it's not in order, I'm not either. And I'm just the kind of person who can't function without a plan, so I don't have a plan of what/even when I'm eating rn so it's been fast food, random snacking, and no counting, but plenty of stress while I'm doing it lol
I started a new job and it is way better but I went to overnight. My meals and everything is so freaking whack now. I'm not hungry when I first wake up, but I'm ravenous and wanna snack and eat all night and I'm starved when I get home. I've gained like 10 pounds in the past couple months and I'm miserable. And I can't make myself sleep all at once when i first get home, i sleep like 5 hours then nap before work. If I dont sleep that way I'm completely dead all night at work. I just don't know how to organize my life now lol.
And I was reading a thing that said our metabolism is naturally shittier at night and I don't know if that's bs but it's made me even more stressed because if i start fasting during work i'm scared of binging when i get home when im all super hungry. Idk this post is a mess but if anyone else does overnights how do you get through it? I could switch quite easily to 2-11p, but I love overnights other than the food/sleep/exercise dilemma.
[Discussion] Feeling hot after a binge?
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5'3" | CW: 90 | GW: 87 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 3 13:20:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6req6d/feeling_hot_after_a_binge/
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I just had a ~2500 calorie binge and in addition to having an upset stomach and feeling like crap in general, I feel hot, even though I'm in an air conditioned house right now. I'm guessing it's because my body just received a very large amount of energy. Does anyone else experience this?
Weekend trip nerves
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:59:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rekou/weekend_trip_nerves/
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[deleted]
[Tip] UK Vegan Halo Top Alternative! 280 cals for the entire tub, also comes in mango 👼🏼
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 ✨ | 101 🌺 | 15.6 💞]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:53:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rej67/uk_vegan_halo_top_alternative_280_cals_for_the/
---
https://i.redd.it/urnkn3zfkkdz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] my ex texted me about my weight 😒
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | UGW: 88lbs ✨]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:43:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6regja/my_ex_texted_me_about_my_weight/
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Sorry for the double post today but my ex felt the need to text me out of the blue and said, "I wish you were still fat. It looked good on you. Everything else probably needed some work though. It made you softer looking and humble."
I guess he had seen photos of me on Facebook or something but fuck that. I was larger than I am now but fuck him for that.
[Intro] I'm back babies
/u/kickkkasss [5'5 | CW:134 | GW:110 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:41:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6reg04/im_back_babies/
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Soooo I've been gone for like almost a year and things have been basically binge binge binge mixed in with some good months then binge binge binge. I felt like a failure, so I stopped posting, but I miss you guys and so I'm back. And fatter than ever :'). I also have gotten deeper in my bulimia than I've ever been and I have literally no one in my real life I can talk about it to, so I realized I need you guys. So hi! Also my flair is so wrong I'm trying to get up the courage to make myself change it lol
[Rant/Rave] Alcohol I love you
/u/ruralfishingcat [5'5 | 122 | 20.5 | - 5 | 21 F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:40:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6refrm/alcohol_i_love_you/
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Oh shit I'm at a fair and like sips away from being drunk lol. I'm surrounded by like 30 booths of food and craving so hard. I wish I could just be drunk forever
[Humor] Locked out of my apartment until tomorrow and all I can think...
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57 | 19.05/18.82 | GW:<57 by 4/9 | UGW:<55 by 4/9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:33:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ree0l/locked_out_of_my_apartment_until_tomorrow_and_all/
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Is how perfect this would have been if I hadn't already caved and ate today. 😂
[Discussion] when bae has an ed too... made me realize something
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | UGW: 88lbs ✨]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:27:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6reca3/when_bae_has_an_ed_too_made_me_realize_something/
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We were just chilling, about to sleep, and I was just running my fingers across his stomach and he got freaked out and was like "oh man that's a really sensitive spot I need to work out ugh..." and I was so taken aback because it's the same place that I get hypersensitive about people touching (re: I won't let anyone touch my belly area) and that this guy who is objectively fit and handsome is self conscious about his body the same way I am made me realize (a little, at least) what I sound like when I say something to him about my own body/food issues.
To each other, we are attractive and objectively in shape, but to ourselves it's this amorphous mass of failings and shortcomings that manifests in our bodies.
Even having that little bit of insight into what other people see when someone they care about is struggling with an ED, I still feel the need to obsessively track calories and attach morals to my food consumption... what a bitch of a mental illness.
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like it's "just water weight" and that your weight loss isn't real?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6re8rb/anyone_else_feel_like_its_just_water_weight_and/
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July 24 I weighed in at 167.2 and today I just weighed in at 162.2lbs, it's been a week and a half, and I have already gone through the original water weight loss and a 'woosh' after I ate higher cal/maintenance day and lost a pound a day for 2 days in a row. I know intellectually this isn't all just water weight but I can't shake the feeling that it'll all be back after one meal and its just a fluke of my body, or of my scale (I've tried two different ones) or something and that I'll wake up tomorrow and be 167 again or higher.
[Discussion] Just ED Things 💕
/u/coffeejournalist
Created: Thu Aug 3 12:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6re52g/just_ed_things/
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On mobile so mark as Discussion flair ☺️
Having literally FOUR different journals/planners to distract you from eating. One planner for school specifically, one planner for work/life in general, one food journal, and one journal for writing. Also, I always have a book to immerse myself in to take me to another place.
My morning consists of coffee with a splash of almond milk, and a huge helping of journaling. Also, making my daughter breakfast is so hard in the mornings 😫
What things do you do to distract yourself from eating?
[Rant/Rave] i feel like i dont really care anymore.
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:50:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6re2g8/i_feel_like_i_dont_really_care_anymore/
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everyday has been different. some days im restricting, some days im eating normally, some days im eating very orthorexically but within a healthy amount of calories, and some days im binging and purging like crazy. My weight is fluctuating between the same 3 pounds. I don't actually feel terrible about my body. I would kinda feel ok maintaining what i am now, i understand that others do view me as thin even if I don't. and this makes me not care about the damage im doing to myself.
everyone around me is disregarding my eating disorder. I expressed that i've gained a lot of weight recently due to binge eating to a friend and they said that it's good because it's healthy. how is what i'm doing healthy. just because my weight is healthier it doesnt mean what i'm doing is healthy.
Today I binged on 35,142 calories. healthy eh? i've purged too many times to count. my body is aching. But i dont care. I used to. I'd usually want to counteract by actively fasting or restricting. but i just dont fucking care. I might binge on a few thousand more tonight. I might not eat til tomorrow. I might end up restricting tomorrow. I don't know or care anymore. I probably wouldn't care if I dropped dead from this right now.
sorry for the rambling, just numb rn.
[Tip] My Nearly Nothing Soup!!!
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:27:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdw99/my_nearly_nothing_soup/
---
Guys. I just tested out the zero shirataki noodles... oh my fucking god. Amazing.
I was so inspired by them I decided to make a super low cal homemade soup.
Ingredients (with calories):
6 cups water
6 boullion cubes (chicken, beef, or vegetable, I used beef) (5 cal each)
5-7 small mushrooms sliced (4 cal each)
3-4 medium carrots sliced (25 cals each)
1 medium onion chopped finely (63 calories)
About a tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes
2 packs of zero shirataki noodles (30 cals each packet)
Top off with scallions for added sweetness and color
Directions:
Add boullion to water, bring to simmer.
Slice mushrooms, carrots, and chop onion and add to simmering water. Add crushed red pepper flakes to taste. Boil for 20 minutes then bring back down to simmer for 20 mins. Test carrots for softness. Stir throughout.
Last 5 minutes of simmering, drain, rinse, cut if you prefer shorter noodles, and add in your Zero noodles. Take off heat, stir.
Use ladle to scoop into bowl and enjoy!
This soup is super filling and I didn't this time but I'd recommend a low sodium boullion or pre made broth.
Also, we should totally have a recipe flair!!! If you guys try and enjoy this let me know!
[Rant/Rave] Halo Top Just Released 7 Crazy New Flavors of Low-Calorie Ice Cream
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7| CW: 105 | BMI: 16.4 | 28F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdvx5/halo_top_just_released_7_crazy_new_flavors_of/
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http://people.com/food/halo-top-new-flavors-rainbow-pancakes-waffles/
[Discussion] Advice on how not to isolate myself
/u/merewautt
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdssi/advice_on_how_not_to_isolate_myself/
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Recently I've had a relapse with my eating habits and have been restricting really tightly. I am honestly fine with this, but I have a bad habit of avoiding all social activities when I'm restricting out of fear of food being present or just messing up my eating routine in general. I keep canceling on my friends and family and I just feel so lonely, but whenever it comes time to be social I panic and decide it's not worth it to put my restricting at risk.
I'm a natural extrovert so isolating myself puts me in a horrible headspace and I miss my friends :( Does anyone else do this? Looking for ways to change my thinking about this so I can keep restricting but also be myself.
[Rant/Rave] Fat Acceptance Friends 💀
/u/dietacokina
Created: Thu Aug 3 11:05:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdql5/fat_acceptance_friends/
---
So I've had these two best friends since our freshman year of college five years ago. We'll call them Sam and Amy. I was pretty much always the Fat Friend all through college because I traded in my restricting disorder for binge eating and maintenance for a few years. Sam was naturally thin, always a size 6 despite eating garbage all the time and barely working out. Amy was a vegetarian who chainsmoked and didn't own a car, so she started college the same size as me and the weight just melted off her by the end of our first year.
Last year, I don't know what happened but they both gained a TON of weight. Sam went from being a 6 to easily a 16, and Amy's got to be an 18 or larger. They both drink a lot of wine and beer and they order pizza all the time (Amy's no longer vegetarian). Fine, whatever, shit happens and I still love them and think they're gorgeous.
But what really bothers me is they've both gotten super into Fat Acceptance stuff. Which is fine, I truly think everyone deserves to love themselves and feel beautiful at every size, and fat people definitely get a lot of hate thrown their way for no reason. But they're driving me crazy with all their stupid fucking fat logic about being "perfectly healthy" even though they've gained weight. They're not healthy!!! Amy can't even walk to the bus stop without getting winded. Sam goes to the gym three times a week but she's still gaining because she gets takeout every night. What's worse is they're always pressuring me to go out for brunch or beers and to come over for edibles when we'll inevitably get too high and order a huge pizza. "Treat yourself, you work so hard!" is what they're always telling me.
Meanwhile, I'm making tons of progress. I had a breast reduction and while I'm still fat, my body looks so much more proportional and I'm going to have a fucking killer body when I get the rest of this weight off. I go to yoga a lot (which they hate because it's culturally appropriative to do yoga even though I never say "namaste" or use Hindu iconography in my practice but okay). I've lost 20 pounds so effortlessly because I have a very active job bartending (they're both receptionists). I can't talk about my weight accomplishments without it being a trigger for them and they've told me as much. I just know when I get skinnier they're going to try to intervene at some point.
I love them. They're my sisters. But god they make me so frustrating sometimes. I feel like they're starting to get jealous because I've always been their fat friend, and that's not me anymore. Hell, this weekend they're both coming to go through my clothes that are all too big for me now. I hate feeling this way, but I won't lie and say I'm not kind of smug about it.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] sometimes i'm so desperate to lose weight it makes me hate myself more than usual
/u/lowkeydeadinside [5'6" | cw: 129 | ugw: 98 | 17F | 🍑: starvingprincess]
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:36:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdiv8/rant_sometimes_im_so_desperate_to_lose_weight_it/
---
i just ordered fittea. i know it probably won't work but i'm desperate. if anyone else has tried it, please tell me your experience with it. i hate myself for being so desperate but i need to do something and i'm in a binge period rn and i want to get out of it :(
[Rant/Rave] NEW HALO TOP FLAVORS
/u/AngelFire14
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:28:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdgns/new_halo_top_flavors/
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Halo Top is coming out with new flavors, which are
chocolate covered banana (280), mochi green tea (320), rainbow sherbet (240), candy bar (360), pancakes & waffles (280), caramel macchiato (280) and cinnamon roll (360)
I AM SO EXCITED !!! O mY GOD
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/halo-top-new-flavors-exclusive?utm_term=.jhV6LlQp8#.yqZrOp3zQ
[Help] Can someone please reassure me that even when eating shitty processed food CICO does still work?
/u/hbastion [5'2 | 19.4/20.08 (new) | GW: 18.76 | 20F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:23:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdfcm/can_someone_please_reassure_me_that_even_when/
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Lately for the past 2-3 weeks I've been eating a lot of microwave meals, low-cal ice creams like Enlightened and Halo Top, and Quest Bars. I haven't weighed myself nor was I planning on it for another week or so since I tend to restrict better when I don't know my weight, but even though I'm eating 600-800 everyday I'm convinced I'm gaining despite being well under my TDEE. It's hard for me to fathom that I could eat a pint of Halo Top every night if I wanted to and still lose weight -- obviously fruits and vegetables would be healthier nutrition-wise, but I've been on a processed food kick lately and it seems to be working so far (no binge urges, etc).
Can someone please reassure me that CICO is true and valid and that when I step on the scale next week I'm not going to have gained 4858483 pounds from all the microwave meals and low-fat ice creams I've been consuming?
[Discussion] Sauna for water weight?
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:14:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdd3l/sauna_for_water_weight/
---
My gym has a sauna and I use it on and off and haven't really tracked if I noticed a drop in weight on the scale or appearance. Do any of you swear by it or does it really not make much of a difference? If you do see a difference how long do you stay in?
[Humor] That time being ana saved me from Typhoid.
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 10:04:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rdafl/that_time_being_ana_saved_me_from_typhoid/
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Allow me to take you all back about a decade, to the summer after my freshman year at university.
I was an archaeology student, and joined a study abroad session for a couple months in Ecuador. The situation was amazing. Tons of hard work and distractions -- I hit the lowest weight of my life here, when I was able to find a scale it was 112, but I know I got lower than that before someone intervened. I just never got a number.
Anywho. Most of the group lived in this sort of communal dorm the local church had build in the tiny mountain town we lived in. We took all our meals there. Lunch was pretty much a free-for-all. Various things were left out for us and we could make up what we wanted to take with us in the morning. The non-perishables were left out for us to snack on when we returned from fieldwork in the afternoon. Most people were ravenous. Young, crazy, ravenous kids. And you know what they all honed in on? A giant jar of bloody Nutella.
Now, Nutella is amazing. I won't lie. It's fucking delicious. It's also Satan's food and I won't touch it. Couple that with the fact that multiple people would come back, filthy, and literally all sit on the table and pass around this jar and eat from it with their fucking fingers... yeah, I noped out without a second thought.
A week goes by of this, and suddenly, EVERYBODY gets sick. Everybody, that is, except my roommate and I. Why? Because I didn't eat the poisonous Satanic Nutella, and I convinced her not to either.
Turns out everybody got and spread Typhoid between each other. And since we were the only two that didn't touch the Nutella jar, we were spared.
Good thing too, they all dropped so much weight... It probably would have killed me!
So, that's the story of how my ED saved me from a terrible fate. Haha.
[Discussion] Has anyone ever successfully stopped binging?
/u/cry1000x [5'5" | 131 lbs | 22 BMI | F | Vegan 🌿 ]
Created: Thu Aug 3 09:23:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rd0g0/has_anyone_ever_successfully_stopped_binging/
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How tf did you do it?
[Rant/Rave] New halo top flavours!
/u/fatbatch
Created: Thu Aug 3 09:22:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rd06v/new_halo_top_flavours/
---
I just saw a post saying there are seven new halo top flavours! [link here.](https://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/halo-top-new-flavors-exclusive?utm_term=.sj6JWew9J#.abxamv8Ea)
New halo top flavours!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 09:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rczoh/new_halo_top_flavours/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Actual weight or just water weight?
/u/Panda_Melody [5'5 | CW: 134.8| BMI: 22.70 | GW: 120 |HW: 168 | LW: 108 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcqc4/actual_weight_or_just_water_weight/
---
So I've gone from 134.0 to 130.6 lbs in 4 days. I am moderately active and I've stayed under 800 calls on days I've eaten and I fasted 2 of these days. ( I generally only eat every other day ) I also stay well hydrated I drink a fuck ton of water. Close to a gallon a day probably.
So is it possible this is real weight? Or just water weight?
[Discussion] anyone else have this problem?
/u/oniondipndots
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcoav/anyone_else_have_this_problem/
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i hate it when a relative or someone i know compliments my weight, (I'm a very average weight for my hight, might I add) it just makes me feel like I can binge and eat whatever I want because someone thinks I'm "pretty"
[Goal] When I get to my GW...
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rck1d/when_i_get_to_my_gw/
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I want to reward myself for getting to my goal weight, so my own personal rewards are as follows:
Get the thigh/hip tattoo I've wanted for years
Buy a new wardrobe (and wear much skimpier clothes, high waisted shorts, crop tops, leggings)
Own and wear a bikini
Get a rib tattoo
What are some of your rewards when you get to your GW/UGW? Do you have any for midpoints or stepping-stone goals?
How often do you binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcjln/how_often_do_you_binge/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does restriction get harder the smaller/more underweight you are?
/u/borbolete [5'4.3" | 🍑: borbolete]
Created: Thu Aug 3 08:00:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcgqw/does_restriction_get_harder_the_smallermore/
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I can't even explain how exhausted I am right now. I've taken a break from restriction for a few days then back into it again. I'm eating nutritional foods, comprehensive vitamins too. As a side word, I'm aware I'm not eating many carbs the past 5 days, so maybe I'm just inadvertently entering a keto state?
I'm just trying to figure out if this is psychological or if it is really harder the smaller you get. if it's not harder, I will just maybe up my carbs a bit? :)
[Rant/Rave] They say kids are brutally honest
/u/damnitimtoast
Created: Thu Aug 3 07:44:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rcd55/they_say_kids_are_brutally_honest/
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My 5-year-old, who in the past has told me "Mommy you have a big belly!", told me today, "Mommy your belly is getting smaller!" If she noticed, I must be doing something right.
Cookies
/u/keyboardpal [5'11" | CW: 190lbs. | GW: 180lbs. | UGW: 160lbs. | M]
Created: Thu Aug 3 07:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rc84t/cookies/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I had forgotten how great it felt to push my body.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 117 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:29:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rby41/i_had_forgotten_how_great_it_felt_to_push_my_body/
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With months of restriction usually comes an increasing lack of incentive to exercise (at least for me) and, as many of us know, exercise greets the hunger beast with open arms and welcomes all kind of food to visit (and stay on our hips).
Therefore I did what I thought was best and I have cowered away from any intense physical exertion (only walking or jogging sporadically) for many months. I used to run 5k, 10k and I felt great, but I was ravenous.
Fast forward to yesterday, I decided to get my floppy ass to the gym and man did it feel great! I did resistance, weights and cardio. I ignored the paranoia of people staring and pushed through. An added sense of clarity was found. I felt hungry this morning yes, but I felt like I *deserved to eat* for the first time in months. I ate to my calorie limit and I felt nourished instead of like I was simply eating to avoid a binge later.
This is only day 1. I have no idea how day 2 will feel. However, today I am gonna let myself smile though cause I feel better than I have for a long time.
[Rant/Rave] Biggest whoosh of my life: 159-154 in four days.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:16:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbvvc/biggest_whoosh_of_my_life_159154_in_four_days/
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Monday: 159.2
Tuesday: 158.2
Wednesday: 156.4
Today: 154.5
This is so incredible and my mind is blown. :') Thank you so much to this amazing community for all the support and love :)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support August 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbuss/weekly_emotional_support_august_03_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 3 06:10:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rburf/daily_food_diary_august_03_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 03, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] My mum is constantly trying to sabotage me
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:28:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbn4a/my_mum_is_constantly_trying_to_sabotage_me/
---
Buckle the fickle up I'm here to rant and complain!
My mum, a typically lovely woman, happens to weigh 100 kg or 220 lbs for you Americans. She's weighed this much for as long as I can remember in my almost 15 years and claims it's because she's spent so long trying to look good (read: skinny) that it doesn't matter anymore.
Every summer, I try a new diet: 2015 vegetarianism, 2016 veganism and this year? Keto! Keto, occasionally called low-carb high fat, is where you eat under 30g carbs so your body goes into ketosis and burns fat instead of carbs.
Getting into ketosis, however, takes 3 days of eating low carb for your body to start using ketones.
I've been doing keto for about a week and lost 9 lbs. I don't see the difference (hello dysmorphia) but family members like my brother, sister and mum have noticed, as well as a lady at the market I see on occasion.
My mum keeps saying I look really sick and that I look like I'm fasting (we're Muslim) but I feel perfectly fine, in fact, better than I normally do; my depression hasn't been an issue, I'm not feeling anxious and I'm actually having a good summer.
I explained to my mum how keto works; I eat under 20g carbs per day and my body burns fat instead of carbs. I can't have bread, rice, cake, potatoes of any kind or most fruits.
At first, she was actually kinda helpful, asking what things I can have and suggesting things I could do with it ('oh, can you have courgette? You can do x and have it with z').
She begged me to have a few dates because I looked sick and I explained that even one date would take me out of ketosis because the carbs and she went off saying I'd go to hell because Allah never said not to have dates and yada yada so I said I didn't care.
But after a few days, she started buying pastries and things she knew I liked, like croissants and cookies, even though I asked her not to because I would eat them and I didn't want the temptation, she would say it was for her and my brother and that I couldn't expect them to live like animals. So I shrugged it off, after all, my brother had just gotten out of a short prison sentence and needed time to adjust.
My nephew slept over for the night because my sister had some video shoot she had to go to with her friend and he thankfully ate most of the bread things, so less struggle for me. But what did my mum buy while she was dropping him off?
A chocolate cake. It's one of those small Tesco Finest cakes that normally is £2.75 but it was reduced for £1.35. I asked why she bought it, because I would probably try to eat the whole thing and she said, "I don't know, I spent forever thinking about if we really needed it - yes, no, yes, no, but I bought it anyway." I asked again, why she would buy it and she said it was for her and my brother.
But she hates chocolate, she hates cake, my brother stopped liking chocolate a few years ago.I'm the only person in my house who likes chocolate. I'm the only person who likes cake. I'm the only person who likes chocolate cake.
I asked if she wanted some and she said she'd have some later. I asked out loud (more to me than to her) if I should have some and she said have a tiny slice. I explained that even a crumb would take me out of ketosis and she repeated herself, 'I know, a tiny slice'. So I said fuck it and had a slice, then said, well hey, if I'm breaking ketosis I might as well make it worth it right? So I binged on the left over cookies my nephew didn't inhale, with milk, with the Nesquik chocolate milk, disappointing waffles (because my brother finished the chocolate spread and left the jar in the cupboard) and of course dates.
I left the mess downstairs, to show what she had reduced me to, and vanished upstairs. After her prayer, I could hear her laughing in the kitchen, like she had finally broken me.
Trying not to feel like shit for binging, I watched Pitch Perfect 2. I paused halfway through the movie because there was an awkward scene, so I went downstairs and said, well, I should at least have some toast since I'd be mad at myself for not having any actual bread. Mum happened to be hoovering and she passed the kitchen and saw me eating my toast and laughed and smiled, asking "Oh, what are you eating? I thought you couldn't have that," so I angrily explained that she ruined my diet on purpose and that she bought the cake because she knew I would eat it. She said the cake was for her and my brother and I said she was full of shit (bit rude) and that she was only doing it because she didn't like that I had lost weight. She didn't say anything and went back to hoovering.
This morning, I asked my brother to eat the cake and he asked why I didn't want it. I lied and said I don't like cake and he was surprised because I used to eat cake for breakfast so I told him cake was disgusting and told him to just eat it. I also gave him a quick explanation of why mum had bought it and a quick explanation of keto he said I'd lost weight and he was surprised since he thought I'd be fat when he got out.
So, out of spite, I'm going to stick with keto until I'm 114 lbs, then go back to carbs and keep losing.
[Help] Good idea or bad idea?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:24:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbmg0/good_idea_or_bad_idea/
---
I haven't eaten for ~48 hrs (I'm a little fuzzy about when exactly I last ate but tbh it was A LOT OF FOOD so exact numbers aren't exactly called for lmao), and am planning on eating tomorrow when I get home from uni (it's about 10 pm here now.)
I've never really fasted for that long, bc usually I do ~48 hrs max, but idk I'm not really feeling like food rn and don't eat before uni as a rule. Is it a bad idea for me to have caffeine tomorrow? I don't usually have it often, but will have some matcha a couple of times a week and occasionally get jittery from that bc of my low tolerance. I'm thinking the energy might be nice tomorrow tho.
Will I die? Will I get super shaky? Will I dramatically collapse and have a teary heart to heart with my family before being counselled by Keanu Reeves? What are your thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] 11.5 hours left of my 48 hour fast...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbkbb/115_hours_left_of_my_48_hour_fast/
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And I'm actually doing okay! How? How is this happening? If I still feel okay by the time the fast is over I think I'm going to try for Friday as well.
I've already lost a pound and so by Tuesday (when I go on holiday) I'll hopefully be 56kg! Maybe even lower but let's not tempt fate!
[Rant/Rave] It's on
/u/PlaTOESatlantis
Created: Thu Aug 3 05:04:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rbjai/its_on/
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So after just being dumped and everything else in my life spiraling out of control i figure the only thing i can control is how i look. So i dyed my hair and started restricting again, as well as taking various weight loss tablets including apple cider vinegar. Has anyone had any experience with these? Yay or nay?
[Thinspo] She is killing me omg her body is absolutely perfect
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Thu Aug 3 03:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rb6kl/she_is_killing_me_omg_her_body_is_absolutely/
---
https://i.redd.it/9lbmg6zqshdz.png
[Other] Hang in there!
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Thu Aug 3 02:45:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rb039/hang_in_there/
---
I've had a rough week. I'm finally less of a water balloon (note to boss: stop commenting about my swollen face, it's utterly unhelpful) and feeling excited that the weekend is coming. The weekends are my times of solace when I finally feel the anxiety that drives much of my ED lift off of my shoulders for 48 hours. I know how much we all struggle day to day and few if any understand. Hang in there!
[Discussion] Any experience with muscle loss/atrophy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 02:44:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rb00s/any_experience_with_muscle_lossatrophy/
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Does this eventually happen? I mean i think it would eventually happen no? I'm not exercising in any way any more and to be very honest I want some of my muscles to atrophy I feel bulky and big and I want to be smaller. Any insight?
[Rant/Rave] I really tried
/u/little-paws
Created: Thu Aug 3 01:03:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ramq1/i_really_tried/
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I thought I could just snap out of all of this unhappiness that I have surrounding food.
I tried, for a month - to eat without restricting or fasting and to just eat like a normal person. All that's happened is I've got so fat and I'm still unhappy.
Oh well, fasting starts again today.
[Thinspo] My new favorite thinspo site! (more to say in comments)
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Thu Aug 3 00:11:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rafd6/my_new_favorite_thinspo_site_more_to_say_in/
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http://www.mybodygallery.com/index.html
[Rant/Rave] it feels like only pretty girls have eating disorders
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 3 00:09:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6raey2/it_feels_like_only_pretty_girls_have_eating/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My SO offered me rewards to lose weight, lol.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Wed Aug 2 23:52:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6rac8a/my_so_offered_me_rewards_to_lose_weight_lol/
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This guy
Okay so he knows verrry well that I used to deal with pretty bad BED. I ballooned up 40 pounds between when we met and when we got engaged. It was awful, I hated everything and my depression was just... nope. Nooooope.
So I started seeing a psychiatrist, and I was put on medication. Awesome! It also happens to be one that WONT give me worse cravings, since she didn't want to give me that with my BED history. Cool.
I've lost 25 pounds in the last 3-4 months. So I'm close to a normal weight again. But my disordered eating has just... changed. Into hardcore restriction and lying about food and being so picky about what I'm eating that everyone around me just thinks I'm on a really good strict diet for my upcoming wedding. lol.
Anyway, I've been lowering my calorie goals every week for the last month or so, and I'm comfortably under 600 most days, and then my lard ass eats everything in sight on weekends when we go out or see family. I've been super discouraged because I haven't been losing weight as fast as I was before because of all that, so he decided to egg me on.
For every x number of pounds, he's going to literally give me a certain amount of money per goal. And take me to a HEALTHY dinner. I started laughing because I thought he was joking. He was not. He wants to see me be comfortable in my body. I'm hoping to get down to 115-120, he knows this, we were talking about it the other day. I'm basically halfway from my high weight to 120, maybe a little less, and he did the math while I was throwing out numbers and was initially surprised and said it sounded so low, but then I showed him a few examples of girls around that height and weight and he said it looks good to him. (I'm probably going to try to go a little lower than that, 118 or something puts me at underweight and that's the goal!)
Like... this guy. Knows my history. And is actively encouraging me to lose weight. He probably knows that he's gonna have to watch it, and he already put a hard limit on when he stops rewarding me so I don't go too low, but damn. So many relationships, a partner is trying to convince their SO to eat more, to be a healthy weight, whatever. Mine is like "hey, so, you'd look great super thin, I'll pay you to get there"
Like
What
I also realize that means that he'd like my body more if I were that thin, but that just means I have to get there. Whatever. He still loves me now, he'll looooooove me when I get to where I want to be.
[Help] Need Advice: Vegetarian Trying to Enter Ketosis
/u/akizichi [5'4.5" | GW: 99 lb]
Created: Wed Aug 2 23:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ra8m9/need_advice_vegetarian_trying_to_enter_ketosis/
---
Hello,
I am trying to enter ketosis through liquid fasts (<5 kcal drinks only, mostly just tea). I would like to introduce some food after a three day period to make sure I don't lose vital tissue.
I am having a hard time eating protein as a vegetarian. I have a fear of estrogenic effects of over-consumption of soy products.
Right now I'm eating nothing but I think maybe egg whites? Do any of you lovelies have any good vegetarian protein suggestions?
Appreciate it! Cheers!
[Help] I can't stop night- eating :(
/u/Idkusernameperson
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:49:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ra22r/i_cant_stop_night_eating/
---
So I can go all day , almost 24 hours without eating. Sometimes a snack here and there. I'm doing great, not even hungry. Then night hits and I'm a little hungry. So I have a heavier snack. Then like clockwork, 30 minutes before I go to sleep as I'm unwinding before bed I just eat everything, like sometimes 1,000 calories in one sitting. I've tried eating a heavier breakfast... still happens. If I force myself through it I literally wake up in my sleep to sleep-eat sometimes. WHY. How do I force myself to stop this? I feel like it's such a comfort thing for me to eat before bed but I go so overboard lately.
[Humor] Damn, YouTube ad. Why you got to do me like this?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9zj7/damn_youtube_ad_why_you_got_to_do_me_like_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/w0iw60k8bgdz.jpg
[Other] Grocery shopping, restriction style 😅😅😅
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9yuz/grocery_shopping_restriction_style/
---
https://i.redd.it/yacug5pjagdz.jpg
[Discussion] Corsets?
/u/ayvyns [5'7“ | 130 | 20.4 | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 22:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9udw/corsets/
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I have a wide ribcage and it makes my back look gross :( Has anyone tried corseting to get the ribs to close in? Most of the pictures I've seen are of overweight people, and the corset has this pinched waist look I don't like. It's so frustrating bc I'm literally at odds with my bone structure
[Discussion] Hypocritical advice you've given others?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:59:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9tdb/hypocritical_advice_youve_given_others/
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What are some instances where you've given friends/family/whoever advice that was downright hypocritical?
For me a big one I've said time and time again is: "Don't base your self worth on appearance/weight alone! You're personality, intellect, & charm are all that should matter!"
I've said this to so many friends and family over the years, and every time I say it I feel like the biggest fucking hypocrite in the world since I myself value my appearance over my intellect 24/7. I just cringe at myself when I even dare say it nowadays...
[Rant/Rave] So angry at myself...
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: fat | BMI: fat | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9rhm/so_angry_at_myself/
---
Today I allowed myself to eat more than my allowed 200 calories... I binged and ate a 150 calorie soup. I regretted it immediately and tried to purge but I've just never been able to. I spent 30 minutes on my bathroom floor trying to get it to come up and all I could do was cry about how weak and pathetic I am.
After I collected myself, I ran a few miles to burn it off but I still feel so guilty. No food tomorrow... none. Negative net calorie counts only from now on. I'm not gonna keep being fat.
[Rant/Rave] Drunk and accepting my issues :-)
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:31:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9o4q/drunk_and_accepting_my_issues/
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Hello!
I am drunk on tequila and I think this is the only way to accept my issues... today I b/p'd like crazy and finally realize I have an ED problem. I decided to try and be better and work towards recovery. Problem is, I don't get along very well with my mom, who always mentions it if I gain or even eat a lot. I came home to my parents for the day and I've for sure eaten 10,000+ cals. I was in a bad binge cycle and had finally been out for a couple days but I came here and ruined everything..... idk why posting this
[Rant/Rave] Anybody else motivated by getting a "revenge body"?
/u/jane_rain [5'9" | 126lbs | 26 F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:19:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9lqn/anybody_else_motivated_by_getting_a_revenge_body/
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Maybe I'm just an awful person.
There's some people I absolutely have to be thinner than. I used to be 225+lbs and this was really one of the biggest motivators to lose the weight.
I have a cousin who was awful to me through my entire life. As in turning friends and family against me, spreading rumours about me etc. She gained a lot of weight after having her baby, and now someone told me she has been dieting and working out, and it makes me very anxious.
She is married and has a baby and works, I have basically nothing, no career, but I think that just being thinner will be "revenge"? lol
[Help] Im having a meltdown for no reason...
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9kea/im_having_a_meltdown_for_no_reason/
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A friend of mine posted something on instagram about "Anorexia Awareness". I'm actually crying cause I haven't told ANYONE about my problem and I'm scared she found out and I keep retracing to see how she found out and oh gosh I'm panicking.
[Discussion] alright proedditors, tell me everything you know about laxatives
/u/jpizzzzz
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:08:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9jsu/alright_proedditors_tell_me_everything_you_know/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Eating today
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 21:08:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9jpw/eating_today/
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[removed]
Verdict on Alexis Bledel?
/u/rizzie_ [5'2F CW:128 GW:110 ||🍑 rizzie_]
Created: Wed Aug 2 20:32:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r9cs0/verdict_on_alexis_bledel/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Omg!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r93dc/omg/
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https://i.redd.it/370ejyc5hfdz.png
[Rant/Rave] Skipped gym and binged 🙃
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:42:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r92rh/skipped_gym_and_binged/
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Not only skipped the gym, but skipped knowing I won't be able to go tomorrow and am also going out to eat tomorrow.
Also binged and purged three times! Yaaaaayyyy 😂🙃
[Rant/Rave] I was supposed to reclaim myself this summer...
/u/Ourgrassyfields
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:30:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r906f/i_was_supposed_to_reclaim_myself_this_summer/
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These last two years I was extremely disciplined with my fasting, counted every calorie when I did eat and never stepped out of line. But starting in this new school has wrecked my body and mind, my failing grades and overall me being extremely depressed led to some weight gain. Yeah, I ate my feelings out for sure. I started this summer as a pudgy slacker. I thought I could jump right into fasting again and and come back thinner than ever but no. School is beginning in about two weeks and if anything I got **fatter**. I even resorted to purging but it failed and I just ended up touching weird parts of my throat I never knew existed! It feels like laziness has taken over every aspect of me. I just can't seem to control myself anymore and it's making me lose my marbles. Has anyone else experienced similar before?
Ugh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:09:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8vv4/ugh/
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[removed]
[Help] iso the texture of granola bars minus all the calories
/u/sighsless [5'6 | CW:128.4 | 20.81 | idk]
Created: Wed Aug 2 19:09:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8vuw/iso_the_texture_of_granola_bars_minus_all_the/
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I can't stop eating granola bars. I know they're so high cal and not the best for you, plus I'm vegan so the options are a bit limited. I know part of it is a need to chew something, but nothing else I can think of really has that same chewy and crunchy combination. I can't always c&s them and I know thats's not the best. Any suggestions of alternatives? Or homemade recipes with better macros or less calories? For those times I lack willpower I need something similar to chew on.
[Goal] Hit my goal weight this week :)
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:30:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8nw6/hit_my_goal_weight_this_week/
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I can't change flair on mobile, but I'm there!! 120 lbs, 5'8". I love looking at my stomach, and the fat in my face and neck finally disappeared.
There's still a *tiny* lump on my belly. It's not perfectly flat. I don't know if I need to go lower (risk losing boobs/butt) or work out more. :/
Regardless, I'm mostly there!! The worst is over. I also overhead my supervisor bragging about me today, so it's been a great day.
[Rant/Rave] Binge
/u/anamiaangel [5'8 | CW 190lb | BMI 28.9 | GW1: 180lb | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:27:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8n8y/binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Went over my calorie limit
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8kug/went_over_my_calorie_limit/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binged today..
/u/fennekinsfox
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8i8k/binged_today/
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Just feeling really down. I ate well over 2000 cals today when I normally stay around 500-700 and I just feel so mehhhh. I ate fried pickles, a BBQ chicken wrap, French fries and even ice cream from Dairy Queen. It's so unlike me and I just feel like I'm loosing my self control. I know it's not a huge deal but my brain keeps telling me to just go and purge it all.
Here's to making tomorrow a better day. I gotta get this stuff under control if I want to get to my GW.
[Rant/Rave] Found new AMAZING crackers!!
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:01:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8hn8/found_new_amazing_crackers/
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I've never seen these talked about on here and have never actually heard of them before today so I figured I should share.
I love crackers, popcorn, chips, etc and now that popcorn is no longer a safe food for me I decided to try to find some low cal crackers.
Okay these things are Blue Diamond brand and they're called Nut Thins. They're basically thin crackers made of rice flour and almonds. 130 calories for 19 crackers!!!!! I was skeptical at first but when I tried them they were SO good!
I got the original kind, but they have a ton of different flavors. The ones I got I had with some laughing cow cheese and it was amazing. Basically cheese + 10 crackers for ~100 cal. I'm in love.
Tldr; Nut Thins are amazing, sorry if this reads like a freaking ad but I'm super excited about them lol.
[Discussion] Water flavor???
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW 134 | GW 125 | UGW 118 | -7 | 20F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 18:00:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8hh3/water_flavor/
---
I'm so tired of just drinking waterrrrrrr and that's all I have at work, just coolers of water. Does any use like the Crystal Lite powder or the liquid flavor stuff to make their water flavored? I wanna kno, help me make my water experience better
Edit: wow you're all the best, stopping by the store on my way to the office tomorrow ❤️
[Tip] 150 calorie chocolate pancakes, low fat, no added sugar, high-ish protein recipe!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 17:44:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8diu/150_calorie_chocolate_pancakes_low_fat_no_added/
---
http://i.imgur.com/5xCwSjs.jpg
I made 2 giant double-thick pancakes with this recipe, so it will make 6-8 regular sized pancakes.
* 2 egg whites, whipped to stiff peaks
* 10g cocoa powder
* 30g whole wheat flour
* 2 packets zero calorie sweetener of choice
* 13g applesauce (~1 tbsp)
* 1/4 cup water
Mix together dry ingredients, applesauce, and water in one bowl while whipping the egg whites to stiff peaks. Then fold in the whites to the rest of the mix. Put a nonstick pan on medium-high, and make sure it's thoroughly heated before starting to cook. These cook like regular pancakes, and they can even handle a bit longer cook time before getting dry or burnt. You can make a few big ones, a lot of smaller ones, or even bake it in the oven as one big souffle (350 F for 16 minutes)!
These are so moist you can eat them without any toppings, I ate them with 1 tbsp light butter. They'd also be good with sugar free syrup or jam.
[Discussion] Dairy free alternative to Halo top?
/u/skinnyminnynomoree [5'11" | 156.8 | 21.20 | -3lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 17:40:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r8ck3/dairy_free_alternative_to_halo_top/
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So I have a milk allergy and eating dairy ice cream is like a 50/50 gamble on whether I get painful diahhrea or not. Which I mean is ok when I haven't pooped in a while but I also dont like being in excruciating pain. Cashew milk and almond milk ice creams are on par with reg ice cream, calorie wise.
I just want a dairy free alternative to Halo top/Arctic zero/enlightened 😭😭😭 and lactose free doesn't work bc I have a milk allergy, not lactose intolerance. Does anybody know if such a thing exists? I love Halo top so much but half the time it sends me running to the toilet.
[Help] Whenever I stay somewhere that isn't my apartment I gain 5 pounds.
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | CW118/GW115 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 16:06:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7qpy/whenever_i_stay_somewhere_that_isnt_my_apartment/
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I'm not sure if this has become a self-fulfilling prophesy, but whenever I'm out of my element I gain weight. It's horrifying. I had to move out of my apartment (end of lease) and I knew I would gain because I always do when I stay at my boyfriend's or my parents' house. I was 114 a few days ago and am now 118.6 with drastically bigger measurements. When I gain, I go crazy, and I start banging my own forehead with my knuckles until there are bruises and I have to hide it with a hat. Can someone help me figure out how to get rid of the weight or what it is? God damn it honestly.
[Help] Ways to make.bloodwork come back BAD?
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Wed Aug 2 16:05:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7qij/ways_to_makebloodwork_come_back_bad/
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[removed]
[Intro] Uh an intro I guess
/u/secretweightloss
Created: Wed Aug 2 15:59:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7oz0/uh_an_intro_i_guess/
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Hi I've been lurking for a while on a different account but I thought maybe Id say hi. I've never been diagnosed with an ED but i've struggled on and off with disordered eating for years. I need to lose weight for important surgery and I can feel myself slipping back into old restricting habits
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Wed Aug 2 15:33:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7iv7/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/kklsrii48edz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] my boyfriend broke up with me today because I'm too sad/ impossible to make happy
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW:182 CW:159 BMI:23.09]
Created: Wed Aug 2 15:07:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7cj4/my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_today_because_im/
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he did it over text just as I was walking into the orthodontist who then proceeded to rubber band my mouth shut for the next two weeks. so it looks like I'll be having a hard time eating my feelings/ hoeing around to cope. I feel so alone 😔
[Intro] Last night I binged but today I will not
/u/froggy95
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:57:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r7a33/last_night_i_binged_but_today_i_will_not/
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I've been doing really "well" for like 9 days, but last night I ate two chunks of bread and probably half a bowl of split pea soup and two beers. Fucking awful but I know why it happened, I ate in the morning. I weigh I think about 122, my goal is 100 and then 95. According to all my apps I can reach 108 by the end of the month. But hopefully it will be more like 103. I'm going to switch to Diet Coke and vodka from beer and I don't care what my bf says about it (we control our drinking problem by only drinking beer lol) anyway, this is my first time posting so hi!!!
Im relapsing and I love it and I feel like I can really do it this time. My lowest weight ever I think is 100 (I'm 5"4) and I'm going to get there and pass it no matter what
Senna tea and birth control?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:49:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r787r/senna_tea_and_birth_control/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Away from home and panicking
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:47:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r77q3/away_from_home_and_panicking/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Do you agree with Intermittent Fasting? If not why?
/u/Livinglifelite
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:42:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r76db/do_you_agree_with_intermittent_fasting_if_not_why/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r76db/do_you_agree_with_intermittent_fasting_if_not_why/
[Discussion] If I binge/purge, did I ruin my restriction?
/u/overweightandstress [5'8 | CW: 144 lb | BMI: 21.4 | GW: 127 lb| F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r72vt/if_i_bingepurge_did_i_ruin_my_restriction/
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I know the answer is probably definitely yes, but I just need to hear someone say it haha. In my little screwed up world I just feel like I can cheat the system but of course I'm sure you can't ever purge it all and I've probably had way more calories than I sought out to restrict today :/
[Tip] A Ultimate Guide to Stop Binge Eating at Night. After great insight and discussion I want to share a Ultimate Guide on Binge Eating. I hope this will provide value.
/u/Livinglifelite
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:27:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r72hp/a_ultimate_guide_to_stop_binge_eating_at_night/
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http://www.livinglifelite.com/ultimate-guide-to-stop-binge-eating/
[Intro] My intro
/u/A_No_Life_Person
Created: Wed Aug 2 14:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r72dr/my_intro/
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So I thought I would do an intro after lurking for about a month or two. I've never been diagnosed with an ED before. I used to binge like two or three times a week for like five or six years. Until the start of this year ( not really the start more like some time in February ) and I started restricting and fasting. I've lost about 60 lbs. ( 27.21 kgs. ) since February ( about 15 to 20 was in the past month ). Still not close to my UGW of 200 lbs. ( 90.72 kgs. ). That probably sounds really high and scary for a lot of you but I'm 6'5 ( 195.58 cm. ) and a guy so I'm hoping I can be happy at that weight when I reach it. I've been diagnosed with social anxiety, panic disorder ( luckily haven't had one in I think a year ), OCD, autism, depression, and possibly schizophrenia ( stopped going before I could get a full diagnosis and the doctor was crap ). Been thinking about writing this for like two weeks now but was always too scared since I don't feel like I actually have an ED. Also tomorrow I'm going to restrict till Saturday and then from Sunday to Wednesday. Hope everyone has a good day/afternoon/night.
[Rant/Rave] GUYS I'M SO HUNGRY
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 13:46:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r6rvw/guys_im_so_hungry/
---
[removed]
[Other] 1500+ calories a day + 10k+ steps a day + 3-5L a day
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Wed Aug 2 13:26:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r6n43/1500_calories_a_day_10k_steps_a_day_35l_a_day/
---
https://imgur.com/KZyNldE
[Thinspo] Another Beautiful Girl
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Wed Aug 2 12:54:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r6exp/another_beautiful_girl/
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A girl came into my work to apply for a job, then sat down for coffee and a sandwich. She is everything I want to be. She is tallish, dirty blonde effortless ponytail. Her face is elven and makeupless. She cant weigh more than 90lbs, her figure is model like, she has a thigh gap and still she manages to be curvy. No awkward bones sticking out, it looks like thin is exactly what she is supposed to be. She has the same piercings as I do. Her sandwhich sits, untouched.
[Help] Free zero sugar coke
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 2 12:47:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r6d29/free_zero_sugar_coke/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/freebies/comments/6r39ru/australia_free_cocacola_zero_sugar_redeem_at/?st=J5VD6DWF&sh=3b6f9c05
[Discussion] Anyone else cant tell weight differences in the mirror?
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Wed Aug 2 12:41:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r6bhd/anyone_else_cant_tell_weight_differences_in_the/
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I could gain or lose 10 pounds and not be able to tell at all in the mirror, i have to rely completely on my scale to tell me how i'm doing
My self image is just wayyy to distorted
[Rant/Rave] fuck you marketing.
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 12:29:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r68ce/fuck_you_marketing/
---
https://i.redd.it/2yl6jc68bddz.jpg
[Other] Swimming Club - follow up! 💞
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Wed Aug 2 12:02:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r619g/swimming_club_follow_up/
---
Alright, so yesterday, I posted a swimming club for everyone to join. Basically, we will be having one new challenge every week, and that challenge will be posted on Wednesdays at 11:30 PST. I will do my best to stick to this but sometimes life doesn't work out that way, so please allow an hour time gap for posting. ✨
The members of the Swimming Club are (by username) :
✨ bigfaninasmallworld
✨ SM_girl
✨ strangerousdangers
✨ A_No_Life_Person
✨ Kaylasteil
(Today is the last day to join. If you'd like to join, please send me a PM ONLY and I can edit you onto the list)
💞So since it's the first week, we will start small. Here's what y'a gotta do. 💞
WEEK ONE CHALLENGE:
💞 Swim 1 mile everyother day. That's all. First week should be easy but be ready for it to get harder!! ✨ You start TODAY!
👏CHALLENGE RULES👏
Your time MUST be under ~~30~~ 40 minutes, but aim for ~~25~~ 35 minutes! If you do not make it in under ~~30~~ 40 minutes, well I got bad news for you. You'll have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN until you get the time. 💓
Every week we will have a "Swimmer Winner" basically the person who did the best on the challenge. This week, whoever gets the fastest time (ALL SESSIONS COMBINED) will earn the title! Your reward is : FEELING FREAKING ACCOMPLISHED AND MOTIVATED
--------------
POST:
Week One:
Please post here in the format below:
Day ___ Week One
Goal time:
Actual time:
Goal for next time:
Calories Burned: (if applicable)
----------------------------
As the days add up, PLEASE DO NOT add a new comment for each day! Just edit your comment from the following day and add duplicate the format with the new info!
Thank you to all who joined! And please let me know if there is a problem! 💓💓💓
If you would like to add/ share twitter/ Instagram handles feel free! Make a "buddy" with someone in the club and motivate eachother!
EDIT: I realized 30 minutes was probably too much to ask for if your a beginner. If you did manage to make it 30 min and under today, here's a cookie you can't eat: 🍪
I've expanded the time gap to 40 minutes (YAY) The faster, the better!
[Other] I've lost 10lbs in the past week and a half, but how much of that is real and how much of that is water?
/u/PleaseLoveMeAgain
Created: Wed Aug 2 12:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r613e/ive_lost_10lbs_in_the_past_week_and_a_half_but/
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Highest weight: 164.6 lbs
"Normal" weight: 150-155 lbs
Height: 5'2"
http://i.imgur.com/Ng6VF5O.png
I'm guessing the 164.6 was a blip because I was bloated and full of poop. The 154.6 is probably a blip too because I'm empty and dehydrated. The results are encouraging, but I'm afraid once all the water weight is gone that I'll plateau and stop losing entirely.
Backstory: My boyfriend of 4 years and the person I had planned on spending the rest of my life with has probably fallen out of love with me. We're long distance because of his work, so like we're stuck here in limbo for another month before I'll see him and he will, most likely, dump me.
This gives me a month to convince him he's wrong and that we're meant to be together. I'm a social retard and every time I try to use words I just fuck it up further, so I've decided to not eat.
[Rant/Rave] Today for lunch I ate a jar of pickles and then drank the juice
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | 👽]
Created: Wed Aug 2 11:54:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5z3s/today_for_lunch_i_ate_a_jar_of_pickles_and_then/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Was discussing something similar the other day on this sub. Couldn't resist sharing.
/u/freshruins [5'3'' | CW: 52 kgs | BMI: 20.3 | UGW: 45 kgs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 11:38:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5uxg/was_discussing_something_similar_the_other_day_on/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E54-CsqE2JE
[Help] [help!] going to an indian restaurant, what do i order?
/u/kittencow
Created: Wed Aug 2 11:23:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5r2j/help_going_to_an_indian_restaurant_what_do_i_order/
---
please help :( i'm going out to an indian restaurant tonight. [here is the menu](http://www.indiagardengarland.com/menu1.php). needs to be vegan. i already called them and they don't use ghee, only vegetable oil
[Rant/Rave] Didn't lose enough this week, feel useless
/u/fatbatch
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:48:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5ho8/didnt_lose_enough_this_week_feel_useless/
---
So last week I lost 5 pounds and this week I only lost two. I am gutted because I have been low restricting apart from Monday when I had to go out to eat with my family and I ate three mini tortilla wraps, grilled chicken and vegetables with sour cream, salsa, guacamole and cheese. I feel like giving up and binging. I just feel disgusting. Why am I so fat.
[Rant/Rave] Must. Need. Most. Accurate. Weight. Possible.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:47:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5hem/must_need_most_accurate_weight_possible/
---
I weighed in on my own two scales at 91.6 and 90.4 today with a dress and cardigan. This weight is usually a smidgen over the weights at the doctor offices (when I weigh at home with clothing and compare when I'm there), and under my friend's scale by 2 or so lbs.
Today I weighed in with a dietitian whose scale is a new one for me...first time there. Anyway, she said she'd like to set the goal to be over 95 lbs by next week. This has to mean that her scale registers me around 94, since I didn't get a ridiculous meal plan goal. In order to gain 2 lbs or more, I'd have to eat 1,000 more than I am eating now DAILY. The meal plan we had set is a starting point to begin gaining, and it isn't too ridiculous. So it must mean she has me at a much higher weight than what I have at home. After the appointment, I went back home to go on my own scale, and they were the same numbers as the morning.
I am internally panicking. This is a 3-4 lb difference. I feel like I can't be living in this facade of thinking I am around 90, when in actuality, I might be closer to 94. I want to be more of a functional adult and am tip-toeing in thoughts of recovery but numbers have such a strong pull.
[Rant/Rave] Going to a festival with massive bloating, kill me :)
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:33:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5du7/going_to_a_festival_with_massive_bloating_kill_me/
---
I'll go to spend my weekend on a festival with my friend on Friday&Saturday. Today I've binged for 4 days and my stomach is so fucking bloated. Tomorrow will be fasting day, but I know it won't be enough to take the bloating away. Instead of having fun on Friday all I will be able to think of on the festival is how other people must think I'm a disgusting whale. Fuck my brain. Fuck my binging and fuck bloating. I feel so massive and can't stand to be in my body. This feels horrible. I'm sorry for ranting but I'm not in a positive headspace right now and you guys are all I have.
[Discussion] What do you guys reward yourself with?
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:24:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5big/what_do_you_guys_reward_yourself_with/
---
When I reach my GW I'm planning to get my hair colored, and when I reach my UGW I'm going to get a tattoo. What are your rewards?
[Discussion] How do you guys feel about eating shows?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:24:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5bfn/how_do_you_guys_feel_about_eating_shows/
---
One one hand it helps me be less hungry(not sure how) but on the other hand it makes me want the food their eating. What is your opinion on them?
[Rant/Rave] 120 cal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:19:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r5a2c/120_cal/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Purged for the first time.
/u/katieboo98
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:11:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r58bc/purged_for_the_first_time/
---
Just finished purging for the first time. I have tried in the past and couldn't get anything up but I did this time! My throats and chest hurts a little bit. I'm proud and ashamed at the same time.
[Thinspo] Just a reminder: we all have bad angles. Even your tiniest, sexiest thinspo. Give yourself some love today, y'all :)
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Wed Aug 2 10:08:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r57gb/just_a_reminder_we_all_have_bad_angles_even_your/
---
https://imgur.com/90dcd6g
I know this is a long shot, but does anyone here live in Ohio?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Wed Aug 2 09:53:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r53oy/i_know_this_is_a_long_shot_but_does_anyone_here/
---
[removed]
[Humor] The subs I'm subscribed to on this account 🙃
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 09:46:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r51t5/the_subs_im_subscribed_to_on_this_account/
---
https://imgur.com/AxagF6h
[Discussion] Anyone have experience with Vyvanse?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Wed Aug 2 09:22:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r4w3i/anyone_have_experience_with_vyvanse/
---
[removed]
[Help] Energy levels with restriction?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 09:03:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r4re6/energy_levels_with_restriction/
---
So I have been restricting maybe a little more than usual for me the last few weeks. Nothing like what a lot of you guys do, just keeping it around 1000 per day. I have also upped my running, so I'm averaging 400-500 of exercise each day.
PROS: it's working! I have lost 3lbs!
CONS: I am not tired exactly, but just have no physical energy at all a lot of the time. I am constantly freezing. Everything feels like walking through deep snow. I struggle to open doors. I sway if I am standing up too long. It makes me feel like I don't want to do ANYTHING.
Does anyone else experience this? I imagine super restrictors must have this far worse than I do, so how do you cope with it? I'm really happy with my weight loss, but I feel like this isn't sustainable unless I can start feeling a bit perkier... any thoughts / tips / similar experiences?
Thanks gang :) <3
[Other] TODAY IS A GREAT DAY
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Wed Aug 2 08:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r4m9g/today_is_a_great_day/
---
I woke up at like 5:30 AM and got to watch the sun rise and the sky turned a beautiful blue and the clouds were great. I got up at 6 and I feel great about that because I usually wake up at 10-12. I made myself a smoothie that was awesome and delicious and it had protein powder in it which was great. My cat slept in my bed last night which was great and when I flea brushed her she only had 2 !!!!!!! (she used to have like 15 a day) !!!!! And I took a shower and feel so clean because I exercised last night and so it was a great shower and everything is great and the birds are chirping and today is a great day :)
Edit- MY ORDER JUST SHIPPED TODAY IS OFFICIALLY AMAZING
[Rant/Rave] I'm so SICK of this number, and I need to rant.
/u/PerfctBodyPerfctSoul [5'11" | CW: 135 | BMI:18.2 | LW: 112 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 08:38:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r4ljn/im_so_sick_of_this_number_and_i_need_to_rant/
---
I haven't made an introduction yet. And I'm not doing that right now. I just need to blow off some steam before I go to work.
I'm a life-long restricter. It comes and goes. I decided to go back on hard at the end of July because, after some long crap I don't want to get into, I was at the highest weight of my life -- 145. Okay, great, fine. Dropped down to about 1000cal or less a day. First six pounds flew off. Got to 138 for TWO DAYS. And then it popped back up to 139.0 and it's been there for a god damn week.
A week. It will not move. Every single day, 139.0. No matter what I do. I thought the scale was broken. Weighed other things, other people. Nope, all good. So, yesterday, I decided to put the pedal to the metal. Went on a six mile jog. Kept restricting. Took a long hot epsom salt bath.
Weighed myself this morning. The number finally changed.
TO 139.1. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW DID I GAIN AN OUNCE.
I nearly screamed and smashed the scale. All I want to do is fast right now but my husband is home, and that's not an option...and ugh. I just want to rage and jump off a building.
Okay. End rant.
[Help] Psyllium Husk Question
/u/Bleakbones [6'1" | CW Too much | LW 140 | M]
Created: Wed Aug 2 08:22:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r4hq6/psyllium_husk_question/
---
Forewarning: This is about bowel movements, just in case that grosses anyone out.
I broke my 72 hour fast last night with a cup of chicken broth and it got me thinking. I've been taking between 6 and 8 psyllium husk caps daily for the last few months. I often try to go 4 or 5 days at a time without eating, breaking a fast with a meal with friends to show them that I totally do eat.
I've noticed that I only really have a bowel movement the day after eating, but never in between these large meals. Should I be having more regular movements with just the psyllium (along with vitamins, Primatene, Glucomannan, and a ton of Powerade Zero and Water)?
Even when I used to fast 2 weeks at a time with just ephedra and energy drinks in my twenties I would still have one every other day, even if it was difficult. I always figured that was getting rid of waste my body generates like dead blood cells and so on.
I'm wondering if I should consider dropping the psyllium in case it's running the risk of causing blockages. Or is my system likely running efficiently enough that I don't need to have bowel movements for the time being? Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
I'm sorry if this was kind of all over the place.
[Discussion] Anorexia recovery turned into binge eating- anyone else?
/u/FishCakeSoup
Created: Wed Aug 2 07:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r45or/anorexia_recovery_turned_into_binge_eating_anyone/
---
I was diagnosed with anorexia b/p subtype and around 1.5 years ago I started trying to recover, but it turned into major binge eating and now I'm overweight and feel so awful. It's like my body isn't even mine anymore.
I've started restricting again and hopefully I'll be back in the healthy BMI range in a month or 2, but I feel.so awful :( I miss being underweight so much, I don't want to wait months and months to get back to it :(
Can anyone else relate?
[Humor] So I cried while eating today
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Wed Aug 2 07:13:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r42i9/so_i_cried_while_eating_today/
---
That's weird, huh.
Fried rice, about 500 calories.
Ended the day at 700 calories.
Eating, watching 30 Rock when I looked down at my plate. Burst into tears immediately. I don't know why.
Is this some sort of cosmic joke?
If it is, it's pretty funny.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 2 06:13:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r3qy0/daily_food_diary_august_02_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 02, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday August 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 2 06:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r3qkk/way_to_go_wednesday_august_02_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for August 02, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] A winning breakfast. (The kombucha and vape, not the cactus)
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 135 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 05:45:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r3ls1/a_winning_breakfast_the_kombucha_and_vape_not_the/
---
https://i.redd.it/7937j2o8bbdz.jpg
[Discussion] What's the weirdest thing you've binged on?
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Wed Aug 2 05:31:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r3ja7/whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_binged_on/
---
I just ate like 250 calories of hundreds and thousands (the sugary sprinkle dots)???? My poor blood sugar.
[Other] Finally starting to see my weight loss!
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | GW: 120 | UGW: 90 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 05:30:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r3j5d/finally_starting_to_see_my_weight_loss/
---
I used to be half a hundred pounds overweight, now I'm only about 15 pounds overweight. But every time I would look in the mirror I would still see that same obese thing I've been all my life.
It's only been until recently that I've seen my weight loss. The curves I developed, the bra size I dropped. Everyone's been telling me that I don't even look overweight anymore! My size small shirts are getting too big to wear, so I'll be back down to xsmall soon. I have a pair of jeans that used to be so tight on me, and now they fall down to my *thighs* because they're so big. I still hate myself, I still hate what I see in the mirror, but I'm proud of myself for being able to recognize my weight loss. I've come a long way : )
[Discussion] What is the most amount of weight you have lost in one period of time?
/u/fatbatch
Created: Wed Aug 2 04:34:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r3att/what_is_the_most_amount_of_weight_you_have_lost/
---
[removed]
[Humor] This is what I watch when I need help not to eat😂
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 2 03:25:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r30wx/this_is_what_i_watch_when_i_need_help_not_to_eat/
---
https://youtu.be/RXCUy20IkGU
[Rant/Rave] 3am Binge Again...
/u/yougotmefeelinghigh
Created: Wed Aug 2 02:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r2tc4/3am_binge_again/
---
Eating ice cream because I'm sad.
Eating peanut butter because I'm hungry.
Eating a bagel because fuck it.
I'm angry at myself for going to food when I got sad. I tried to avoid it. I tried to think of something else or even fall asleep before, but I failed. I'm tired of my life.
[Rant/Rave] My scale is out of batteries but I can tell I've lost weight bc I can't sleep :')
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 02:25:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r2t10/my_scale_is_out_of_batteries_but_i_can_tell_ive/
---
I have finally almost (maybe even completely) shed the weight I gained on holiday, but all I have to show for it are these eye bags 😭 I just want to sleep!!! omg
Just found this subreddit and I'm in awe (in a good way y'all)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 2 00:53:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r2gqn/just_found_this_subreddit_and_im_in_awe_in_a_good/
---
[deleted]
[Other] this collage was really therapeutic to make
/u/DONT_PM_ME_BEES [5'3" | 107.5 | 19.0 | -12.5]
Created: Wed Aug 2 00:35:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r2e95/this_collage_was_really_therapeutic_to_make/
---
https://i.redd.it/bzq7dw1xr9dz.jpg
My friends are bored of hearing about my latest diet plans. So I'm posting here.
/u/EllenEarMuffs
Created: Wed Aug 2 00:05:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r29ew/my_friends_are_bored_of_hearing_about_my_latest/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why aren't we allowed to be as thin as we want to be?
/u/Silencemenow [5'4 | CW 120 | 20.6 | gw 100 | ugw 95 F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 23:56:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r281i/why_arent_we_allowed_to_be_as_thin_as_we_want_to/
---
Serious question. I just don't understand this. Especially being over 18, why do doctors and family have a right to intervene? I don't understand. It's MY body. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it, right? I'm at least 10lbs away from being underweight and my doctor is making me come in for a weight check in a month because I lost 30lbs in 4 months (I have no "recorded" history of ED but yeah, I definitely had one about 5 yrs ago which he is unaware) and he may not refill my adhd meds.
Why don't obese people have to do the same? Why isn't someone 50lbs overweight lectured and ridiculed instead of someone who is borderline underweight? Their health is equally at risk, if not more so. What the actual fuck?
Sorry, just a vent.
[Other] Random but... any knitters on here?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 1 23:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r26s3/random_but_any_knitters_on_here/
---
All in the title.
Edit- I'm doing such a weird thing rn. I knit one line then I do 10 sit ups.
[Rant/Rave] I ate so many wings today idk if im proud of myself or ashamed!!
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:98lb | GW1: 95lb | -61lb | M]
Created: Tue Aug 1 22:46:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1wwz/i_ate_so_many_wings_today_idk_if_im_proud_of/
---
god today I had such a weird day. between the past few days of extremely low restriction in the mornings with slight refeeding in the evenings (usually never going over 500 cal though) but I got invited to a "wing party" with my friends at hooters today! ive never been but one of my friends got a coupon for "unlimited wings" (a max of 150) for a party of six and I actually went and ate 19!!! thats so crazy to me. I went over maintenance today! I know I wont gain because I was 1000+ below the past two days but man I just felt so free eating with my friends. the craziest part? I pretty much ate the least! everyone else had 30, except for my one vegetarian friend who came just so the rest of us could get food. it didn't even bother me that he only had a plate of fries honestly. I just ate my free wings and didn't give a fuck. (the chipotle honey are my fave!)
sometimes maintaining really seems like an option to me. I want to maintain as people are starting to notice I look very very thin now and I want to loose weight slower, but its very very hard not to low restrict like I normally do. I just need to work on it. a big part of me loves spending the day only eating low cal fruits and lots of water and coke zero but the other small part is excited for food! im so confused!!!!
[Intro] hate myself for this, but I'm back
/u/proudnalgeneowner
Created: Tue Aug 1 22:44:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1wly/hate_myself_for_this_but_im_back/
---
It's 12:44 in the morning. I used to be active on here last fall under a different account. Stay tuned for me destroying what's left of my life :))
I'm stella, I'm 17, I love my (pet!) fish, and hate my (gross!) self
[Other] Swimming club? 💞
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Tue Aug 1 22:08:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1q9l/swimming_club/
---
I love swimming and hate running.As much as I want to get into running, I just can't. Oh, but put me in the pool, and I can burn like 600 calories just swimming!
Was wondering if anyone would be willing to do a "pool challenge" this month with me. PM me for details and if you'd like to join! Thanks loves! 💞
[Humor] You know you suffer from disordered eating when...
/u/plantheadkade
Created: Tue Aug 1 21:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1m6v/you_know_you_suffer_from_disordered_eating_when/
---
Being put on a new medicine makes you excited because you might lose weight. Let's go effexor lol.
[Rant/Rave] Gross
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Tue Aug 1 21:37:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1k7u/gross/
---
I hate myself
To the point where I would take a few bottles of laxatives and weight loss pills
[Rant/Rave] :(
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 121 | 19.61 :( | 5 lbs :( | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 1 21:21:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1h7w/_/
---
I try to exercise but every time I try I just... fail.
Today I found a exercise that looked good but 4 minute into it when she started doing burpees I started crying. I don't even know why!! It wasn't hard but I just couldn't do it. She was going so fast and I felt like a failure. And every single time that happens I do this really annoying thing where I dig my finger nails into my legs and scratch them like a cat would for like 30 seconds. Does anyone else do the same or am I alone in this.
[Help] So my parents...
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 21:07:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1el3/so_my_parents/
---
...have decided that the giant tubs of Neapolitan ice cream that you get for birthday parties are a grocery staple. I binged on the last tub and I've been c/s-ing this current tub. Does anyone else struggle with something like this? I'll accept any advice at this point, thank you in advance. <3
[Help] Anyone else on Wellbutrin?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 21:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1e5v/anyone_else_on_wellbutrin/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE do diet journaling?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 21:03:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r1dx9/dae_do_diet_journaling/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] What the Health
/u/biggoldie
Created: Tue Aug 1 20:20:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r15kn/what_the_health/
---
Talking to my dietitian about the new Netflix documentary What the Health...
Me: It said eating processed meats and eggs were like smoking cigarettes! I fell asleep halfway through so I need to go back and watch the rest so I know what I *can* eat.
Her: Hello! You see a dietitian every week! You don't need to watch the movie because I can tell you what to eat!!
Me: :/
[Rant/Rave] I wish I could eat like a normal person
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 20:09:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r13ie/i_wish_i_could_eat_like_a_normal_person/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Ever get surprised?
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Tue Aug 1 19:35:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0wx1/ever_get_surprised/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Counting calories is stressing me the fuck out
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 19:32:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0wdi/counting_calories_is_stressing_me_the_fuck_out/
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*on mobile please flair as rant...thanks!
I've started counting calories again recently and it's starting to really stress me out...again. I'm so worried that I'm not calculating the calories correctly or that I've forgotten something I ate while out with friends. I've gone through this cycle before....I'll stop counting calories for a while but I always get so nervous that I'm going over my "limit" when I don't count calories. So basically there's no winning....the cycle continues. Sigh.
[Rant/Rave] A final word
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Tue Aug 1 19:30:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0vx7/a_final_word/
---
I am leaving this sub. You're all beautiful souls and the most understanding group I have ever met, full of compassion and empathy, and being able to talk about my struggles in such a safe space has been a blessing. But today, I purged for the last time.
I am choosing recovery.
I miss cooking. I miss looking forward to dessert or meals out, never wondering how I was going to purge them out or burn them off. I miss not thinking about food 24/7. I miss focusing on goals of strength and self-improvement, not on my weight.
I am accepting some things. Recovery might mean never hitting my goal weight. It might mean staying the same weight. It might mean no thigh gap, or perfect size 2 jeans.
But I would rather be able to eat because of nutrition and health rather than eat because it's the pre planned food that fits into my deficit. Or the food I planned to binge on.
I'm ready to love my life again, and to live it.
I wish you all the best and happiness-whether you find that I'm recovery or not. I know I'll be tempted to come back to this sub, but the trigger is too much.
So good luck to all of you, thanks for your kind words, and honestly, God bless all of you. You might be strangers on the internet, but you're non-judgmental, good, kind people.
[Humor] i feel attacked....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 19:21:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0u2d/i_feel_attacked/
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http://i.imgur.com/O7m0tRC.jpg
[Discussion] Those who live with parents/spouses/roommates, where do you hide you ED stuff?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 19:17:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0te2/those_who_live_with_parentsspousesroommates_where/
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Be it journals, pictures, food, laxatives, pills, etc.
Just curious.
My EC stack is hidden in a small pouch in a bag of cotton balls in my makeup drawer. I tried having a journal, but it was found and I was livid. So I try to minimize the stuff I have. Any food I have, like Walden's syrup, that screams ED to my mother is instantly put in another container or has the label removed and something else written over it.
[Rant/Rave] The story of my life now
/u/lasirenexx
Created: Tue Aug 1 19:17:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0t9v/the_story_of_my_life_now/
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https://i.redd.it/m7ghwux478dz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally sabotaged my first meal post restriction. At least I think it was an accident...
/u/catywompus
Created: Tue Aug 1 19:00:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0q4r/accidentally_sabotaged_my_first_meal_post/
---
I've been hard restricting for three weeks and finally broke and realized I needed some real food. I weighed out a tilapia filet on a plate on my scale, then went about cooking. Felt real proud of myself because everything smelled good and I actually wanted to eat it (for once). I put my cooked fish on a small plate so I could work on plating my husband's meal. I like taking the time to really present a pretty plate for others so I was definitely distracted. After he was set, I took the rest of the green beans and a tiny taste of sweet potatoes for myself and scooped them straight onto my raw fish plate on the scale so I could calc the calories. You read that right...I was so focused on the numbers that I put my gorgeous still-slightly-crisp green beans with toasty almond slices and a silky smooth sweet potato mash onto a raw fish juice plate that had been sitting in the hot kitchen for long enough to potentially harm me.
For a split second my heart broke; I really had built up eating in my head and was kind of excited to have a normal meal. Then, I was so flippin happy I had a valid explanation as to why I was eating just the fish without being judged. I felt so relieved that I didn't have to enter the food into MFP and have to look at it.
I think my mind did it to me on purpose. I am super serious about kitchen safety standards and I ALWAYS get rid of raw/contamination stuff as soon as I finish...except for this.
Anyone ever do something similar?
[Rant/Rave] ABC Determination
/u/missdreavuss
Created: Tue Aug 1 18:55:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0p2n/abc_determination/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So mad at myself.
/u/katieboo98
Created: Tue Aug 1 18:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0ls4/so_mad_at_myself/
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So, I have been doing so good lately. Keeping my calories under 800 a day at the most. And what do I do today?? I mess it up. Had a bowl of oatmeal this morning (300) and I was going to fast the rest of the day. Well when I get home my mom has supper on the plates. Hamburger steak, mashed taters and gravy, peas, corn and rolls. At least I didn't eat a roll. But I cleared my plate. Completely cleared it. Even my family was shocked. I know it's what most people would consider a "normal" meal but I'm really upset. Maybe I will fast tomorrow. Sorry, just wanted to express my frustration with you lovely people who get my pain!
[Rant/Rave] Day long binge
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Tue Aug 1 18:05:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0ekh/day_long_binge/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] A Message to You
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 18:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0ea8/a_message_to_you/
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I have to confess that one of the worst parts of having an eating disorder, or struggling with disordered eating, is how fucking lonely it is. I feel like an traitor when around people I care about, like I'm hiding this terrible and daunting secret that no one can know. If I'm invited out to eat spontaneously, 9 times out of 10 I decline. Even if I'm hungry, I choose to stay home. Maybe I hit my calorie max for the day or maybe I'm restricting/fasting or just feel exhausted from purging my guts out.
I spend hours of my life counting calories, planning meals, measuring/weighing myself, fasting, restricting, purging- the works. My life has been consumed by this disorder that I can't say I'm in a rush to get rid of.
Recently I've been feeling so down about my eating habits, gaining weight and my binging. Last week, to my surprise, I stumbled across this sub reddit. The other day I mustered up the courage to make my first post. For the first time in my life, people who understood what I was going through were sending me comments. People were laughing along with my feelings of self deprecation and their presence was comforting beyond belief.
I just wanted to say, to all of you who subscribed to this subreddit, who are active, who respond, who post, who lurk. You have helped someone who felt so alone in this terrifying journey and made it a little less awful. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way. And for that, I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.
Tl;dr: Every single one of you are amazing and has helped more than you will ever know. Your presence and kind spirit is comforting in times where things are hard and we all feel so alone. Thank you <3
[Goal] I lost 2.5 lbs. in the past day.
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: fat | BMI: fat | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 17:53:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0cbz/i_lost_25_lbs_in_the_past_day/
---
The title says it all. That's 2.5 lbs. closer to my GW. it's almost 8:00pm here and I've only had 100 calories today, and I'm gonna burn that off too. I'm not even hungry.
*I will be thin*
[Discussion] 3 months until summer!
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 17:47:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0b19/3_months_until_summer/
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I made a countdown on my phone of me side on in my underwear. Back and front fat GALORE.
You could feed a third world country off me.
Anyways, how are you staying motivated for summer and what are your summer 2017 goals?
[Rant/Rave] Eating is the hard part
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 17:47:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0ay1/eating_is_the_hard_part/
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[removed]
[Humor] How many of us can relate? 😂
/u/Andersoncooperspenis [5'6 | CW:😭 | GW:115 |-29| F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 17:39:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r09fy/how_many_of_us_can_relate/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrFoAidR0nc
[Humor] How many of us can relate? Addicted to Diet Coke 😂
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 17:38:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r0931/how_many_of_us_can_relate_addicted_to_diet_coke/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrFoAidR0nc
[Rant/Rave] jack and the no good very bad day
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Tue Aug 1 17:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6r03tv/jack_and_the_no_good_very_bad_day/
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On mobile, please tag rant/rave.
Been on the road--to big rock candy mountain, apparently, because I'm fucking eating everything in sight.
Just moved to Texas with no car. Glasses are broken, so I can't safely bike. If I want to get anywhere, I have to walk. In 102-degree weather.
I tried to find a barbershop to cut off my long hair. I can't see well enough. I spent two hours trying before I gave up. People keep ma'aming me--probably because my ass alone is the size of this state. I look fucking repulsive. I feel fucking lazy and soft and coddled.
None of my clothes fit. I look goddamned pregnant.
I got kicked out of my transgender support group for bitching about my appearance and laughing off people who gave me the same platitudes about looking "cute."
I got locked out of my new house after a 4-mile walk in 102-degree heat. I came home to an email from HR saying they want paper copies of documents that would've been mailed to my old house back in Massachusetts.
I lost my temper with a friend who tried to help me. Yelled at her for half an hour. She ended up apologizing for ME.
Fuck this. If I were a little less of a fucking weak glutton this wouldn't be happening. My body is an advertisement for my lack of self-control.
Can't lose anymore weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 15:59:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qzn4t/cant_lose_anymore_weight/
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[removed]
[Other] what I ate today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 15:46:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qzk4t/what_i_ate_today/
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http://i.imgur.com/Q3c7L9N.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Bulimia relapse after a year b/p free
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 1 15:46:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qzk2r/bulimia_relapse_after_a_year_bp_free/
---
Life became so fucking stressful so fast. Trying to work all these jobs at all crazy hours, taking care of the household & cleaning up after my man child. There was no time for sleep. No time for taking a shit in the morning. Normally when I feel like this, I pick up the bottle. This time, I have too many responsibilities to even consider a bender. Plus, I really don't want to relapse on booze. That's worse than bulimia right now.
My s/o left town to visit relatives, and I immediately bought binge food after I dropped him off at the train station. Told myself it's cool, indulge in b/p sessions in between working and sleeping, stop as soon as you have to pick him up in a couple days. Right?
Wrong. Having a hard time eating and not getting out of control now. A little worried, but also realized something. My episodes serve as more of a stress reliever than anything else when I do it now. It's like a little break from life. And after it's all done, I'm so chill. So relaxed. I fucking sleep better. I wish it wasn't like this. I'm hiding it from my s/o, but probably not for long because he's a huge source of stress in my life right now & at some point I'm gonna have to talk to him about it.
Anyway, here's a sweet tip. Get yourself a big ass cup, fill it with ice, diet cream soda, and blue poweraid zero. No calories, tastes like cotton candy. Get your electrolytes in check after purging all the safe food you just bought, ya know!? -________-
[Discussion] Healthy snack ideas?
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Tue Aug 1 15:39:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qziej/healthy_snack_ideas/
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I'm trying to snack on things other than fruit.
Can you help me with some ideas?
Hummus+veg
Cottage cheese+veg
Turkey roll ups
Kale chips
Avocado
Lettuce roll ups
Salsa and cucumber
Salsa and veg
[Intro] I want to fall back into old habits
/u/iProbablyLikeYoux
Created: Tue Aug 1 15:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qzhb5/i_want_to_fall_back_into_old_habits/
---
18. Female. Previous ED. Hospitalised. Didn't eat for just over a month. Sectioned under the mental health act. Started at 11, recovered(?) At 15.
I feel out of touch. I'm strong enough, I know. I've done it before. I'm just scared. I'm scared of not making progress. I'm scared of worrying my unwell parents. I'm terrified I'll wind up looking worse than I do now.
I truly hate myself.
🍑 End-all Peach megathread! 🍑
/u/bir_die [🌸 5'8" | 115.8 | 17.42 | GW: 111 | 23 Bird 🌸]
Created: Tue Aug 1 15:05:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qza97/endall_peach_megathread/
---
**What is Peach?**
- Peach is a new(er) social media app available on [Android](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=cool.peach&hl=en), [Apple](https://appsto.re/us/YNRP_.i), and [your web browser](http://nectarine.rocks/). Essentially you just share thoughts, statuses, pictures, videos, etc. all the same stuff you'd shove onto instagram or Facebook- except a lot more private as you have to know exact usernames or be friends-of-friends to find each other.
So if you've got a peach- post your user here! If you'd like to find new friends- plug the users found here or in older threads linked below into "add friend" and go nuts! (I'm bir_die if y'all love me enough).
**Past Peach user threads:**
- ["Billionth post" By /u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4nz4/sorry_if_this_is_the_billionth_post_about_peach/)
- ["Peach Megathread" by /u/CANT_CATCH_ME](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhoyv/can_we_make_a_peach_megathread/)
- ["Peach" by /u/commeunecho](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oqlcf/peach/)
- ["Join Peach" by /u/tryingwithmarkers](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phcnw/if_you_havent_yet_join_peach/)
- ["Another Peach User Thread" by /u/ifuckpineapples](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j64te/another_peach_username_thread/)
- ["Peach Usernames" by /u/alphabeticaesthetic](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbja3/peach_usernames/)
- ["Add Me" by /u/emma92900](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qf2iz/add_me_on_peach/)
- ["DAE Peach?" by /u/ifuckpineapples](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/52ofg5/does_anyone_else_use_peach_want_to_be_friends/)
*Please note* that with the posting of this thread (and I'll get it shoved/updated on the sidebar eventuallysomeday)- new Peach user threads will qualify as spam and will be treated as such. So feel free to link this around if you know of fellow proEDers looking for some Peach friends! 🍑
*Also note:* as this is not an official extension of our subreddit, us mods have no power nor say over what is said or done on Peach. So add and peruse at your own discretion if you are concerned with harassment, triggers, or anything related. Thank-you! 💕
Peach away, mateys!!!! 🍑🍑🍑
how much weight could I lose in 3 months?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 14:37:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qz3kq/how_much_weight_could_i_lose_in_3_months/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I stopped hating my body for a moment and now I'm in a full-blown binge mode :/
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Tue Aug 1 14:34:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qz2tt/i_stopped_hating_my_body_for_a_moment_and_now_im/
---
I'm fucking everything up, you guys. My several weeks of maintenance turned into a binge/purge streak. I don't even know why. Nothing bad happened this time. I just stopped hating myself as much as I usually do and suddenly felt so fucking hungry as if I haven't eaten anything in months. I can't stop eating and I never, ever feel full.
I try to either purge everything out or burn the calories through additional cardio. But my gag reflex checked out already and I don't always have the opportunity to spend an extra hour at the gym. So I'm gaining weight. Not much, slowly, but still gaining.
I feel like I'm going nuts. My eating habits are completely out of control. I wasted all of my money on food and I'm literally c/sing a packet of cookies as I'm writing this. I hate this so fucking much.
Why on earth can't I just eat a normal amount of food, feel full and go about my day like normal people do?
[Humor] My boyfriends comment on my esting habits made me laugh lol
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 14:17:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qyyjp/my_boyfriends_comment_on_my_esting_habits_made_me/
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Him- "Do you even eat 1200 calories a day? No? No you eat like 2500 one day then 5 the next"
I laughed so fucking hard, its so tru
[Intro] Intro
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Tue Aug 1 14:13:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qyxmn/intro/
---
Hey, everyone. My name is Nico, and I haven't been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder (I don't want to be, and my mom hasn't taken me to my therapist in months). I'm 17 years old, and I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and major depression.
The first part of my eating-disordered life starts with when I started being majorly bullied in middle school, and to cope, I'd binge-eat when I got home. This led to weight gain and lots of insecurity. In seventh grade, I restricted heavily, but started binging again a few months later. I stopped binge eating in high school, but continued being overweight.
Within the last year, my insecurity cultivated into a perfect storm, and I hit my breaking point, which happened to be a blue bath bomb.
I don't know why, but I was in the bath, and suddenly I decided how much better my legs would look in that clear, blue water-if they were thin. So for the four months after that, I restricted down to less than 900 calories a day and lost a lot of weight.
For some reason, recently, I've been binge eating and C/Sing a lot more, followed by compensatory exercise and restriction. I'm trying to get back into restriction, though! I stopped binging and have been chewing and spitting to get out of the habit, and I plan to possibly stop csing soon, but it's a convenient way to get rid of extra food I haven't eaten, so the jury is still out on that.
This seems like a great community, and I'm happy to be a part of it! I've already posted a few times, and over on the proed memes page.
Thanks for reading this.
-Nico
[Rant/Rave] Welp incoming superbinge...
/u/Onthedownlowplz [5'8"|50.6kg|16.15|M19]
Created: Tue Aug 1 13:55:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qytcm/welp_incoming_superbinge/
---
Just went to the supermarket after being up all night starving with no sleep only being able to think about food. Now I've got a bag full of porridge,chips, noodles, soup, corn(weakness)... Prey for me 🙃🙃🙃🙃
[Humor] Conversation with my mom.
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 13:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qynrd/conversation_with_my_mom/
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Mom: You look too skinny, are you getting too skinny?
Me: No.
Mom: Okay.
Well that was easy. hahahah
[Help] I don't have any control
/u/kioskmongo
Created: Tue Aug 1 13:02:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qygcn/i_dont_have_any_control/
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I'm sorry for all this and I don't know if I flared it right but I don't have anyone to talk to either about my ED or what happened and I just want to get it out to people who might get or can help me. But I don't know how to handle my life anymore. I wake up, go to work, try to eat as little as possible. I have an highly active work where I walk around and lift heavy things a lot, so at the end of the day I get really hungry which ends up with me b/p-ing and feeling like a failure. When I don't work though I highly restrict to water only which works fine and makes me feel good.
At the weekends I get black out drunk/high and sleep around. I usually have memory of what happened the night before and willingness to be with the guys, but this weekend really spiraled. A guy I've been talking to, who I've met at parties before, was going out and so we met at this club. I wasn't black out drunk there, I had had 3 beers, but he bought me 2 drinks and a shot. What I remember after that shot is him telling me we should get our jackets and after that we're walking to his and his roomies apartment, I fall during the walk and scrape my knee. Next thing we're walking up the stairs, we go inside and then there's blackness. There are so many glaps in my memory from the walk which I don't remember... but I remember a black room and telling him "it hurts, I'm sorry". Then I wake up. I can't recall ANYTHING from when we slept and it gives me so much anxiety. I feel so worthless and shamed, I don't remember anything I did or he did?! I bled when I peed the next day! And now I can't eat and when I do I purge. I have no fking control over anything. I don't know what to do. And I'm so scared of him telling everyone if I did something embarassing or how bad or drunk I was. I can't control what he does, what I do, how I eat or anything. I really don't know what to do with myself anymore
[Discussion] Is this unusual?
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5"3 | CW: 90 | GW: 87 |]
Created: Tue Aug 1 12:58:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qyfbn/is_this_unusual/
---
My goal weight is 87 pounds (BMI of 15), but when I reach it I'm planning on eating normally until I'm back at a healthy weight, which I'm pretty sure in unusual among people with eating disorders. That's one of the reasons why I'm not sure if I even have one. I might be wrong on this, but from what I've read, most
anorexic people either maintain or keep on going after reaching a goal weight. I think one of the biggest reasons why I don't want to go lower than 87 is because I'm not doing this because I feel fat; rather, I'm doing it as a form of self-punishment. I want to experience what being 87 pounds feels like, along with all the discomfort, but after that, I feel like I've punished myself enough and I can eat normally again, if that make sense. Am I alone in this?
[Discussion] What's one thing that you can never say no to and crave regularly?
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Tue Aug 1 11:46:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qxxa5/whats_one_thing_that_you_can_never_say_no_to_and/
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I have two. Nacho chees fries from del taco and spicy chips like takis, hot cheetos, and turbo flamas. This is the first time I was able to beat my craving of cheese fries and I'm pretty proud of myself. As for the spicy chips, I'm trying to go August without them and limit myself to one small bag every other week in September. 😊
[Rant/Rave] People who are underweight without trying fuck me up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 11:11:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qxo6b/people_who_are_underweight_without_trying_fuck_me/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] What's your current BMI and what's your goal BMI?
/u/fuckthislol [173cm|skinny|low 15's BMI|F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 10:52:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qxj98/whats_your_current_bmi_and_whats_your_goal_bmi/
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And how long do you reckon it'll take to reach it? Do you reckon you'll be happy when you do?
Also how do you think things will change or be different when you get there?
Just curious about everyone else here haha, also probs specify if you're using old or new :)
[Intro] Hellooo (my story)
/u/Ms_Rainbow [5'8"/173cm | CW: 55.5kg | BMI (new): 18.3 | 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 10:52:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qxj8e/hellooo_my_story/
---
So I've commented here a couple of times already, but I wanted to properly introduce myself (warning: novel incoming)
I'm a 21 year old college student from Finland. I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I am on medication for depression and generalized anxiety disorder.
I was always underweight as a kid until my growth spurt ended around the age of 14. I used to have no control over my eating, and I would binge on anything sweet (and my mom acted as both a bad role model in this and sort of enabled it by buying me junk to binge on). I got incredibly depressed at the age of 15 because of incredibly low self esteem (and some other stuff), and started intentionally losing weight for the first time. I got underweight again, but that 'phase' passed after about 6 months, and I went back to binging. The thoughts would come back in waves every spring. Sometimes I would manage to lose weight, and sometimes I wouldn't. I never had a BMI above 22, but I would still feel disgustingly soft and plump (always been skinnyfat, that's what you get when you don't exercise) when I weighed around and above 60 kg (132lbs).
Very long story short, last fall when I moved away from home and started college, my self esteem was better than ever (mostly because my acne is finally under control, and I was in a new environment where people hadn't seen me at my worst) and I even found myself a boyfriend for the first time. When we started getting comfortable in the relationship, we both gained weight, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Then in January my depression came back and roundhouse kicked me in the face, leaving me lying in bed for the majority of the spring semester. I didn't complete a single class.
In May I finally went to see a doctor and got prescription for antidepressants. I weighed 62 kg (136lbs) at the time. The meds kicked in by the end of May, and started killing my appetite. I lost a couple of kilos in the following month, but it wasn't a big deal. Except it became a big deal. And I started getting obsessed. And now I've lost 6.5 kg, or 15 lbs, in 9 weeks. Literally all I'm interested in is weight loss and stuff related to it. At first I was just "losing weight with my boyfriend to motivate him", and "wanting to fit into an old dress for the upcoming wedding" (which is still over two weeks from now), but it's much more than that now.
I just need some support because I have no friends in this town to talk to and I can't vent to my boyfriend about this. This community seems really supportive and I want to be an active part of it.
If you read all of that, thank you, and you're amazing. Sorry for rambling, and you can ask if you want to know more about me or my problems.
PS. I just made an account on Peach and will be adding literally everyone there :)
edit: in case someone is interested to know, I don't purge (tried it years ago and it didn't do it for me), and I don't exercise compulsively, in fact barely at all. I just restrict my eating and sleep all my days away.
Sorry if I made some mistakes, English isn't my native language.
[Help] How do you deal with going to parties?
/u/fragilmountain [5'7 | 238 | 36 | GW: 110]
Created: Tue Aug 1 10:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qxhwh/how_do_you_deal_with_going_to_parties/
---
Two of my friends have birthday parties this month. I don't know how I'm going to be able to survive one let alone two :(
There's going to be cake and a ton of snacks. How can I resist the urge + what can I tell my friends since they will expect me to eat?
[Rant/Rave] ED @ work rant
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Tue Aug 1 10:06:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qx7za/ed_work_rant/
---
[removed]
[Help] really sore throat?
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Tue Aug 1 09:26:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwyaz/really_sore_throat/
---
my throat has been killlllling me these past few days and i constantly feel thirsty. even when i drink water the feeling doesnt go away and my throat still hurts. it feels different than a "im sick" sore throat too. has anyone experienced this? im sure it has to do with my heavy restriction but anyone have any tips on making it go away?
[Help] Resisting a binge but also anxiety
/u/peachygarbage
Created: Tue Aug 1 09:06:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwthf/resisting_a_binge_but_also_anxiety/
---
I'm going to fly for the first time in my life today which makes me a excited and anxious. Weird mixture of feelings. Anyway, I'm tryin got eat like a regular person during the day so that I won't be hungry or full on the flight. Like I want to be on that flight and not think about food at all. So what should I eat for lunch? What's low calorie but also going to really stick with me the whole day? Also how do I not binge eat????
[Discussion] Favorite painting?
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 09:06:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwtdo/favorite_painting/
---
http://imgur.com/Rq7bRSN
[Discussion] Does anyone else seem to store all their fat in the back and upper arms?
/u/ayvyns [5'7“ | 130 | 20.4 | -7 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 09:06:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwtc4/does_anyone_else_seem_to_store_all_their_fat_in/
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My hips and stomach don't have much fat at all, it's all in my arms. How do you get rid of it? Just drop more weight? I had a consult with a plastic surgeon who said surgery wasn't an option. I've done 4 treatments of Vanquish with dubious results :l
[Other] Book recommendations please
/u/ibrokethecookiejar [5'1 | CW: lost | GW: invisible | 21F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 09:03:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwsld/book_recommendations_please/
---
I have a lot of time on my hands the next few weeks and I would love to immerse myself in a book or two.
I was wondering if you guys had any books centering on ED's/disordered eating/body image/mental health that you enjoyed or that you found solace in?
Thank you dearly
[Rant/Rave] What I should do
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 135 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 08:52:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwq3k/what_i_should_do/
---
Vs what I'm actually gonna do.
What I should do:
Go to the goddamn grocery store
What I shouldn't but probably will:
Eat out for lunch, restrict the rest of the day
What I should do:
Keep hitting my vape
What I shouldn't but REALLY want to: buy myself a pack of delicious camel crushes
Should: clean the house, eat normally, make good use of my day off and get ready for the rest of the week, hang out with a friend
Will: tan, nap, smoke weed, be self destructive af and self loathing and anti social and depressed and lazy
[Rant/Rave] EDs and Cosplay? [rant]
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Tue Aug 1 08:50:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwpta/eds_and_cosplay_rant/
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I'm going to be cosplaying a few characters within the next couple of weeks, and I don't know why I can't be happy. I see people fatter than me out there, rocking their cosplays, and they look great. Why the hell can't I just be confident in my cosplay and weight??? This is making me want to die.
[Discussion] DAE find it hard to incorporate variety or new foods into your diet?
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 117 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Tue Aug 1 08:44:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qwo3v/dae_find_it_hard_to_incorporate_variety_or_new/
---
I know we all have different rules and regulations, I was just wondering what your experiences are with incorporating variety and new things into your diet.
I have noticed that over the last few years that my willingness to try new foods or foods with lots of ingredients mixed together (even if low cal) has decreased significantly. I have my safe foods which I love and know the exact calorie count and macros. I'm also certain they will give me pleasure while if I tried something new I wouldn't have that certainty. Why waste my few calories on something I'm not 100% sure I'll enjoy, right?
At least that what my mind tells me, then I get upset or my friends/family get worried or annoyed that I won't try new things anymore (I've had to turn down many goods people have made or even made especially for me) and that my weekly food shop is pretty much the same for months. I also get overwhelming anxiety when food is mixed together in a way that anything could be in there. Even silly thoughts enter my mind that it might be contaminated or the calorie count could be double what the packet says.
I also find myself in love with individually wrapped packaged goods and if I see something in tiny packets I will often buy that over getting a large portion of the same thing (sharing size) which would be cheaper and better for the environment yet I just get panicked when I see such a large amount of food in one go, even if its one of my safe foods. But that's another issue, I'm just rambling sorry.
I guess I just hope it won't spiral into a point where I can only eat 3 foods ever again.
Have you been through these things? How is it going for you?
<3
[Discussion] Girls of preED, do you feel like weight affects your femininity? [DISCUSSION]
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Tue Aug 1 07:28:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qw7o5/girls_of_preed_do_you_feel_like_weight_affects/
---
I feel like if I am thinner I am automatically more "girly" in a way. At this weight I just feel huge and bulky, like my shoulders are to wide and my upper arms are too fat and I just feel that I have to dress extra girly with dresses and pink color just to not look like a man. When I'm home in a black shirt and some leggings,hair tied up and no make up I really do feel gross and manish in a way.Like I know that losing 30Ibs will make me feel like a woman wtf brain why ate you doing this to me??
I've written the word feel waaaay too many times lol
Edit : Aaaand I didn't proofread the title, nice.
[Other] I just baked cookies to give as gifts
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 06:59:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qw1gi/i_just_baked_cookies_to_give_as_gifts/
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[removed]
[Help] I want to get help to stop the binge eating and b/p cycle but not the restricting
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ attempting recovery ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Tue Aug 1 06:42:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qvy9c/i_want_to_get_help_to_stop_the_binge_eating_and/
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I feel dishonest and bad but hey at least I'm trying to fix half of it? Maybe I can get prescribed a medication that lowers my appetite lmao
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 1 06:11:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qvsnz/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_01_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! August 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 1 06:11:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qvsmy/daily_food_diary_august_01_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 01, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
eaten all my calories by 4am
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 05:18:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qvjlc/eaten_all_my_calories_by_4am/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Emotional AF right now, I want to binge so bad and ruin it all.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 05:12:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qvim9/emotional_af_right_now_i_want_to_binge_so_bad_and/
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I've been doing so good so far, but today I just feel so bad, I've been crying and beating myself up, and crying some more and I just want to eat my feelings. I had exercise but I'm always on the verge of fainting or fainting. Any suggestions on how to keep going while I'm in this emotional mess?
[Intro] Canned kimchi is heaven +self-introduction
/u/rebirthmark [5'3" | CW: 40.5kg | BMI: 16.01 | -8kg | F]
Created: Tue Aug 1 02:57:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qv07m/canned_kimchi_is_heaven_selfintroduction/
---
Hi, I'm rebirthmark and I'm new here. I'm a 19-year-old music enthusiast who fell into disordered habits this spring. It resulted in me losing 8kg when I was borderline underweight to begin with. I'm now stuck in a binge-restrict cycle so fuck my life, right? I have been lurking here for a month or so but I finally decided to make an account to talk about ED stuff lol.
I've gotten to the point where buying anything with calories gives me immense anxiety and I've broken down crying at market aisles for god knows how many times. Coke Zero has been my safe purchase for keeping hunger away but I've found that the sweet taste makes me crave sugary shit like chocolate cake. Ugh.
So I visited this local stock/flea market and I think I witnessed God on Earth. I found these cans of Kimchi where the nutritional information says it has 15kcal per 100g.
15 FUCKING KCAL. OH MY GOD
I just tasted it and it's okay. Surely the real thing would taste better (I haven't tried it) but omg this is going to be my safe food from now on. So few calories oh my god and it's even vegan!!
What are your low-calorie safe foods btw?
[Rant/Rave] Hopeless
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 1 02:51:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6quze9/hopeless/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] DAE stalk supermarket catalogues online and compare the calories of different items, or is that just me?
/u/DONT_PM_ME_BEES [5'3" | 107.5 | 19.0 | -12.5]
Created: Tue Aug 1 02:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6quut8/dae_stalk_supermarket_catalogues_online_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/wn5rlism43dz.jpg
[Discussion] August Goals
/u/IWillNotHealYou [5'10" | ☣️ | -92.6 lb | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 23:52:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6quavm/august_goals/
---
Holy crap, I barely met any of my goals for last month :(. Hopefully this month is better. What are your guys goals this month?
[Rant/Rave] Restricting and the scales
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 23:32:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qu818/restricting_and_the_scales/
---
I haven't weighed myself since the 24th. I'm trying to hold out until the 11th.
It's all I think about. I've taken to just trying on this dress that is too small (fuck you back fat) to compensate for the lack of validation I get from the scales.
Pray for me 😅
[Help] in terms of weight gain - what's better after a binge?
/u/namelessgia
Created: Mon Jul 31 22:22:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qtwn5/in_terms_of_weight_gain_whats_better_after_a_binge/
---
I know to prevent another binge most people suggest maintaining the day after, but if you're not hungry/don't have to force restriction is it better to only eat a little? Will it slow my digestion/metabolism down if I don't eat and prevent quick loss of the weight from my binge?
Sorry if this sounds like a ridiculous question, third time through the ringer and I still don't quite know how to deal with myself 😣
[Rant/Rave] that moment of panic when someone knocks on the door while you're purging
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Mon Jul 31 22:05:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qttpa/that_moment_of_panic_when_someone_knocks_on_the/
---
my brother just did this and i swear he does it on purpose because he knows...or i'm just paranoid and he's oblivious. either way it's always a panic stricken moment :/
[Discussion] Just went and internet searched everyone I've ever slept with or loved...
/u/invisibone [5'5" | CW 118.6 | F |]
Created: Mon Jul 31 22:01:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qtsyx/just_went_and_internet_searched_everyone_ive_ever/
---
Funny how life can leave you apart from so many people. Sometimes it's easy to think that their lives stop moving when you aren't there anymore. Like the world is the reflection in the mirror.
Makes my mind spiral a lot about what it means to even exist at all. Do we? Do I? Why? How?
Harm reduction tip: Don't do what I did :'(
Tagging as discussion because I'd love to hear from someone, please.
[Discussion] Considering all this To the Bone hype, it's weird how no ones ever talks about that time Zoe Kravitz, who was also anorexic in the past, lost weight to play an anorexic girl in The Road Within
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 21:53:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qtrot/considering_all_this_to_the_bone_hype_its_weird/
---
I was reading an article about her just now with this quote:
"In the summer of 2013, Kravitz signed on to play anorexic twentysomething Marie in the dramedy film The Road Within. As she tells it, when she got the role, she wasn’t sure if she was disciplined enough to play the part without letting her demons get the best of her. “My parents got really scared for me to go back down that road,” she says, recalling when her mother burst into tears after she came back from set one time.
Kravitz couldn’t see how much weight she’d lost. She wasn’t satisfied with her frail 90-pound frame either. She got sick after filming wrapped. She didn’t get her period regularly because she was too malnourished. Her immune system shut down, her thyroid was thrown off.”
I wonder why this got zero attention, compared to the reactions and outcry for to the bone. Is it that Netflix generally makes more news?
[Humor] actual pic of me after today's binge
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 20:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qtezf/actual_pic_of_me_after_todays_binge/
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http://i.imgur.com/smga710.jpg
[Discussion] Fellow ladies with amenorrhea: anyone else's hair texture change?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 20:41:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qteic/fellow_ladies_with_amenorrhea_anyone_elses_hair/
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My hair was originally your smooth, straight, average white girl hair. Once I lost my period I did lose some hair, but when it grew back it was a different texture! It's still pretty much straight, but kinky, like naturally curly hair that's been straightened. The hair that never fell out in the first place stayed straight.
Apparently this is fairly common in menopause because of the change in hormones, and amenorrhea affects the body fairly similarly to menopause. So has anyone else had this happen after losing your period? How do you deal with it, in regards to having to re-learn how to style and care or it?
[Intro] I'm done with treatment!
/u/inconceivable--
Created: Mon Jul 31 20:35:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qtd9d/im_done_with_treatment/
---
I've been in treatment (inpatient, residential, PHP/IOP) for the last four months, and I was finally discharged today. PHP was one of the best experiences of my life: I've never felt so held and understood by a group of therapists/peers in any other setting. My therapist knew that I had decided I wasn't ready for recovery in this round of treatment. Things were extremely open, honest, and loving.
As sad as I am about leaving that environment...I'M BACK, FAM! And I can't wait to make August a glorious hell of restriction and Senna tea. With you all by my side.
I love y'all so much <3
[Help] Sleeping aid
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 20:23:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qtayz/sleeping_aid/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Any advice?
/u/tacehtelle [5"6 | 122.5 | 19.77 :( | 4 lbs :(( | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 31 20:00:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qt6o3/any_advice/
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I LOVE cooking, but everything I cook is really dense in calories. Cookies, pastas, pizzas and I can not control myself. So does any one have any low calorie Italian food/ dessert recipes (my favorite foods) that they can share with me? Would be greatly appreciated!! :))
[Goal] fasting (GOAL)
/u/SamPlaid [5'4" | 107 | 18.7 |GW:85 | female]
Created: Mon Jul 31 19:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qt1ls/fasting_goal/
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my weight has plateaued...and I'm having trouble restricting.
i'm going to try a fast. back in hs i used to go 3-5 days regularly but i'm a lil older now and i havent done it in a while. i plan on fasting from august 1 thru august 14. then, i'll be on vacation with the fam. i hope to reach 99 lbs by then.
[Rant/Rave] I thought working in an office make my BM even less regular lol.
/u/Catsorbras
Created: Mon Jul 31 19:12:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qsx6b/i_thought_working_in_an_office_make_my_bm_even/
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Like I work from 9-5 ish, and since I would never poop in office (not that my body ever wants to haha), this leaves a really small window of time for my body to want to get pooping? I am sorry if this is weird or TMI but does anyone have the same problem and a way to overcome this?
Also, I haven't binged forever since I started working. Sometimes I do have the occasional snacks and stuff, but it is because I want to, not because I am going out of control.
Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday on my last post. If it is your birthday when you read this, happy birthday and I think your hair looks smashing. If not, hope everything is going well with you. <3
[Rant/Rave] More failure follows
/u/schipapo
Created: Mon Jul 31 18:54:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qstic/more_failure_follows/
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I had been doing really well with restricting my calories. I had lost weight consistently everyday. I've also been doing really well with my summer classes at community college. I was so motivated and feeling really hopeful for the future.
Last night I had a friend over to smoke weed and she brought cookies to snack on. When I saw them I figured that I'd have to eat a couple so she wouldn't get worried and ask more questions about my weight loss. I thought I could allow myself to smoke and enjoy eating them in moderation because I felt so strong willed lately. Apparently not. I lost count of how many I ate. Failure #1. After she left I ended up eating probably a 3rd of a family sized bag of tortilla chips and around half a cup of pico de Gallo + a box of nerds candy. Failure #2. I promised myself I wouldn't purge bc in my experience it has only led me to more binging but I feel like if I had I might've regained some control. I felt like shit and went to sleep without putting on my corset, washing my face or brushing my teeth which I committed myself to doing every night. Failure #3. I stayed in bed until around 1pm, knowing I had an essay that I hadn't finished due at 6pm right before class. Failure #4. Once I finally snapped out of this apathetic fog, I popped an adderall and got to work. I turned it in at 6:04pm knowing that my conclusion was utter trash and the end part of my essay was full of errors. Failure #5. Distraught by this latest failure and the knowledge that my professor (who I'm obsessed with) is going to be disappointed in my work, I decided I couldn't bring myself to show up to my class, unshowered and now late, even though I know he's going over important info for the exam today. Failure #6. I had plans with a friend after class which I promptly canceled with a lame excuse, leaving them hurt and confused. Failure #7. I haven't eaten anything today so I'm hoping tomorrow I can start fresh and the events of today won't matter. If any of you guys have tips for how to get and keep myself back on track, that'd be much appreciated. But does this happen to anyone else? It's like as soon as I feel out of control of my eating I lose the control I thought I had over other aspects of my life as well. I haven't felt this hopeless and disgusted with myself in a while. Sorry for the rant, just need some advice and validation.
Out of control
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 18:37:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qsq3q/out_of_control/
---
[removed]
[Help] I really need someone to talk to right now, if anyone on this sub is available.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 18:34:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qspls/i_really_need_someone_to_talk_to_right_now_if/
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I feel horrible right now. Would anyone here be up for talking with me right now? I've been crying off and on for like 2 hours, trying everything I can to handle this, but I know what I need is to talk to someone. I'm not going to kill myself, so you don't have to talk me down from that or anything. I just need an empathetic ear. Let me know if you can help. I'd super appreciate it <3
[Rant/Rave] New found heaven for 70 cals!!
/u/wakeupmrwestt [5'6.5" | BMI: 17.4]
Created: Mon Jul 31 18:31:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qsoz9/new_found_heaven_for_70_cals/
---
WOWWWWW
StarKist hot buffalo style tuna packs are so good!!
A single pouch costs about $1.5 for a serving of the most delicious buffalo style tuna, for only 70 cals with 15g of protein!!!
I hate a pouch today on a rice cake with a few pickles... Omg... I cant wait to go to the store tomorrow and stock up on these pouches...
[Rant/Rave] Mini Vent
/u/Sonicspider98
Created: Mon Jul 31 18:18:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qsmcu/mini_vent/
---
I ate lot again today (wow, that TOTALLY wasnt expected). Fifth day in a row that I ate more than 3000 calories so thats fucking cool. SOMEHOW IM NOT OVERWEIGHT YET. Probably deserve to be overweight again so I can know what will happen when I get older and my metabolism goes down. Cant wait for this to happen again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, etc. Fuck, this is probably going to keep happening for a long time and Im gonna end up fat again. What if I got hurt everytime I ate? Nah that wouldnt be worth it. I dont want to be skinny with a shit ton of scars. If I had some self-control, that would be nice, but I dont because Im a fucking fatass.
[I also posted this same exact text to r/depression]
[Discussion] Epsom salt baths are gods gift to my thighs.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Mon Jul 31 17:55:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qshg8/epsom_salt_baths_are_gods_gift_to_my_thighs/
---
Used to be a competitive soccer player, discovered this trick after daily epsom salt baths for sore muscles.
•Run a bath as hot as you can stand.
•Pour in 2-4 cups of epsom salt, brand doesn't matter, there's plain cartons for literally 3 dollars or more expensive brands that are scented and all nice for your skin.
•sit in for 20 minutes
•boom 1-5 pounds gone.
Obviously it'll come back as it's just water weight, but before going swimming or when I feel particularly disgusting it helps sooth my soul and make me look a little more toned.
[Discussion] Garcinia Cambogia
/u/caseyune
Created: Mon Jul 31 17:48:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qsg5p/garcinia_cambogia/
---
Has anyone used garcinia cambogia? I did a little research and bought a bottle. I heard a side effect after long term use could potentially be liver damage? I don't plan on using it that long, and I'll be taking it every other day instead of every day. Along with decreased appetite I heard it can improve your mood by boosting serotonin.
Does anyone have experiences with it? If they were negative was there something that worked better for you?
[Help] I need some meanspo to not eat the entire tub of ice cream in my freezer.
/u/bigfaninasmallworld [5 feet 🍰 | CW: 107 lbs | GW: 100 lbs | UGW: 98 lbs | 20 F 🍒 |]
Created: Mon Jul 31 17:15:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qs95e/i_need_some_meanspo_to_not_eat_the_entire_tub_of/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Why is it like this?
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 31 17:10:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qs83c/why_is_it_like_this/
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For anyone else who experiences the same thing, why is it often easier to restrict when you haven't eaten anything? I can't really do the whole "restrict throughout the day by eating a small amount here and there". I eat one small thing, whether one rice cake or cracker or some broccoli or a taste of anything and it sets me off. The urge to consume just comes full impact. When I go throughout the day w/o eating though, it's kind of like restriction momentum. I'll eat my calories for the day by the end of it (or not) because once I've restricted all day, it's like... the "Safety Period". Basically, fasting is just easier to maintain. I don't think about food as much, the compulsion is not as strong too.
[Humor] A Showdown
/u/peachygarbage
Created: Mon Jul 31 16:34:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qs0ha/a_showdown/
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So I usually restrict and then binge but today I've been good about restricting by also chips. They're in front of me. They're tough, but I'm a Rhinestone Cowgirl and I'm tougher.
[Discussion] restricting vs purging
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | UGW: 88lbs ✨]
Created: Mon Jul 31 16:33:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qs05b/restricting_vs_purging/
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in really shaky recovery and binged more than i ever have as i tend to restrict (have AN) then made myself purge which was honestly so horrible i ended up crying on the floor. i guess what i love about restricting is how light and clean i feel but then after binging and then purging i feel possibly even grosser than i ever have.
which do you guys prefer and what do you think are the contributing factors for how our EDs choose to manifest?
[Other] Ana is my only friend
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Mon Jul 31 16:31:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qrzqy/ana_is_my_only_friend/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What would a ProED subscription box look like?
/u/SanguineSmiles [5'4" | 126.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 16:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qry78/what_would_a_proed_subscription_box_look_like/
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I was looking at fitness boxes, but they add things like protein powders or recovery chocolate/nuts.
Maybe it would have things like tea bags, mio drops, Powerade zero. And then warm, cute socks or slippers (for those of us who can't stay warm) and maybe a tee shirt with a motivational or humorous saying. Any ideas?
[Goal] August goals: what are yours?
/u/tofuchampion [5'3" | 155 | 28.2 | -21 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 15:50:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qrqh0/august_goals_what_are_yours/
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My main goal is to eat around 800 cals/day, (never above 1200) and lose at least 15 lbs. I've been on a really bad binging streak and I need to turn this shit around.
Other stuff: I'm planning on 2 races (a 10k this Saturday and a 20k in the 26th); no specific time goals for either, just want to finish and feel good about the effort. I want to spend time on my hobbies (piano, sewing) and self-education (Spanish via Duolingo, coding via FreeCodeCamp) every day. And keep my diet 100% vegan, which has been hard lately. Last but not least, I want to start getting to work on time regularly.
What is everyone else hoping to accomplish?
Tuesday, August 1st~The Daily!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 15:46:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qrpmd/tuesday_august_1stthe_daily/
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[deleted]
[Other] (Thought this sub would rock this)Guess the Calories in Popular Fast Foods Buzzfeed Quiz
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 161.8 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 109 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 15:15:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qriks/thought_this_sub_would_rock_thisguess_the/
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https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasminnahar/how-well-do-you-know-fast-food-calories?origin=filqui
[Other] greetings from the damn drive thru
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 14:41:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qraej/greetings_from_the_damn_drive_thru/
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chick fil a this time what do you guys want
i'll have a stress binge with a large peach milkshake thanks
edit: i actually got 2 12 count nuggets a spicy deluxe and a peach milkshake AND a chocolate one just for the sake of science
[Discussion] Does anyone else have this problem?
/u/blackswanrises
Created: Mon Jul 31 14:37:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qr98m/does_anyone_else_have_this_problem/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Jul 31 13:56:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qqzh7/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/95k9r8p0hzcz.jpg
[Discussion] What food scales are trustworthy/recommended?
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 13:43:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qqw9b/what_food_scales_are_trustworthyrecommended/
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I've been using my Ozeri for a year now and the fact that it seems to change measurements even when I have not changed what I've put on it concerns me. It's been dropped a couple times anyway. I'm willing to pay more for a better scale bc I'd rather have accurate calories. Any recommendations would be truly appreciated. Otherwise, without a scale, I'm kinda to scared to eat. Thanks x[current one I'm using ](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BZE3WW8/ref=asc_df_B00BZE3WW85101503/?tag=hyprod-20&creative=394997&creativeASIN=B00BZE3WW8&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167142021489&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15190759362822000050&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9012489&hvtargid=pla-273770461136)
[Thinspo] Reading Lily Collins interview in "Shape" magazine. She looks.....a-fucking-mazing.
/u/NotStephany [5'5| too fat | 33.55 | -95lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 13:28:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qqss1/reading_lily_collins_interview_in_shape_magazine/
---
https://i.redd.it/thkf72c4czcz.jpg
[Other] Open letter to trolls and the downvote brigade. Love y'all!
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 31 12:56:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qqki8/open_letter_to_trolls_and_the_downvote_brigade/
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On mobile flair as rant
It's really nice to know even a seemingly safe online forum like we have here still has it's critics. I'm not trolled nor is this the reaction y'all might want.
Keep it coming. I mean anyone can down vote but if you want to really have an impact go ahead and degrade and criticize while you're at it. I happen to be into that stuff so more power to you.
I'm not shaken more than I was and you folks gotta try a little bit harder if you want to hurt anyone's feelings. At least in my case the seat of #1 hater is occupied by yours truly.
Keep at it you pathetic dirt bags and have a lovely life.
Love,
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Did anybody else hear about the WORST NEWS?
/u/danceswithkiwi [5'8 | GW: 117 | -23lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 31 12:37:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qqf7l/did_anybody_else_hear_about_the_worst_news/
---
I looked for a similar post but didn't see one, so sorry if ya'll already knew but: THEY ARE GETTING RID OF COKE ZERO.
Yeah.
They're gonna bring out a new recipe that is supposed to taste more like regular Coke. Bitch I don't like regular Coke, I like COKE ZERO!
I seriously have at least two servings per day and I almost teared up when I found out.
RIP you beautiful potion.
(PS on mobile, forgot to auto flair, please tag Misc.)
[Other] Made one of those Peach account things!!
/u/nikkiethenoot [171 cm| 62.8 | 13F |]
Created: Mon Jul 31 11:55:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qq4vg/made_one_of_those_peach_account_things/
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[removed]
[Help] How is this even possible (weight gain)
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Mon Jul 31 11:53:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qq4e0/how_is_this_even_possible_weight_gain/
---
I binged for two days straight this weekend. I started at like 117 lbs and this morning, I weighed 125. Fuck fuck fuck. Could it all be fat? I thought I was better than this...
[Rant/Rave] Well...I'm back to where I was 4 years ago
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 11:24:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpxd2/wellim_back_to_where_i_was_4_years_ago/
---
My ED has been "stable" for a while but recently sliding back to dark places. Last week I had the bright idea to fast for 4 days while still training hours a day. Hey! Everyone else is doing it, I'll join the bandwagon and all these people without ED raving about it and how it has no risks.
Fast went great...then shit hit the fan. Diarrhea, ok, I can deal. Friday, Saturday and Sunday usually massive surpluses. Friday I felt the hand cramping...Saturday more cramping then felt my flanks getting sore which is my sign that the water retention is starting. Sunday the cramping went away but all the food sat still in my stomach and I was so uncomfortable so despite planning to attempt a surplus (I failed! Though I plan to use the calories today to count for exercise I'm not doing). Well, woke up this morning and my face is gigantic, stomach is full of water, everything hurts :/ I couldn't go to work, I just knew people would comment. Slept in, then hit the gym and everything hurts. I know this is mild refeeding edema/syndrome and I need to eat. Reminder I'm not normal, fasting has few risks for people who aren't underweight and overexercised. I need to eat but I don't want to eat when I'm a damn whale. I actually had convinced myself that my fast last week didn't happen because the scale was up by the end but this is a sign it did and yet I don't feel sick "enough" to just eat. I went through an awful refeeding edema last time I "recovered" and I'm frightened. I'm hoping cardio will help. I will eat this week, usual crazy deficit and hopefully I can stop the frank refeeding issues. Thanks for always being here! I have no one.
[Help] Starting Up Again
/u/ratatatcatattack
Created: Mon Jul 31 11:21:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpwkc/starting_up_again/
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[removed]
[Help] Should I talk to my psychiatrist?
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 11:16:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpvi9/should_i_talk_to_my_psychiatrist/
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I have a psychiatrist appointment in a few weeks to check up on my bipolar meds (that's not going great, btw). Should I bring up my eating habits? One side of me knows they're a concern and she would probably try to do something to help me recover. The other side of me (the ED side, obvs) doesn't want her to know because I'm a fat whale and I need to lose so much weight before I want to even think about recovery. She may not even care because I don't look like I have an ED. Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] FUCK YOU BODY!
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 31 11:14:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpuxj/fuck_you_body/
---
On mobile flair as rant or rave.
Binged last night and was still under maintainence and have been significantly under for days even after binging three days but working out for hours and according to the doctors scale...
I'M UP LIKE 8 POUNDS AT LEAST FROM WHERE I WAS LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!
is this real life? Is this going to be forever? I feel like doctors scales are fucked up and inaccurate ironically but is it possible to be up 8 to 10 pounds in liquid and food after a day? I swear yesterday morning pre-work day and pre gym or anything in my system I was 8 to 10 pounds less and here I am fat as fuck at the doctors.
FUCK DUCK FUCK FUCK...might go to the gym just to punch the bag I'm so fucking mad right now..fucking kill me!
Why is my body so fucked how long am I going to be bloated and is all this weight real?
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I just turned up to my first counselling session and it wasn't even booked in [rant]
/u/absolute___zero [5'5 | CW 141 | GW 120 | -35 | 22F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 10:56:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpqeh/i_just_turned_up_to_my_first_counselling_session/
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The counselling is for social anxiety so not ed related but idk who else to turn to right now I hope that's okay.
The lady on reception obviously felt awful but what the fuck that took so much to even go to only to have to leave hyperventilating and wanting to die. Idk what do so with myself now I feel so vulnerable and stupid and all I want to do is cut or binge and purge and just not exist at all. Fuck my life I don't even know how to put how I feel into words 😔
[Other] Well, shit
/u/beepitymeep
Created: Mon Jul 31 10:46:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpnw0/well_shit/
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https://i.redd.it/ku0kx344jycz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My ED has turned me into John Nash (person from a beautiful mind)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 31 10:44:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpngx/my_ed_has_turned_me_into_john_nash_person_from_a/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or potentially humor I am not sure where this is going to be honest..
I had "calorie asbergers" (a term I find offensive to those on the spectrum to be honest) before it was a thing, it's always been about numbers and patterns and math. Ironically I'm not great at abstracts like calculus but accounting, addition, subtraction, division and multiplication have become relatively easy to do mentally.
When I was younger I kept spreadsheets of calorie contents and. Combinations with several variables person item, calories, carbs, fat, sugar and ingredients. I have leaned off of some of those these days..
When I was younger I was also heavier however a few doctors appointments resulting from asthma, soriacis and overall not feeling well informed me I was on track to be obese at a young age.
I was "husky" as my grandma put it and a lot of people thought I'd be a good football player when I got older but I wanted to be small.
I became a nutrition expert overnight and my spreadsheets and counting began. I used an old pedometer I found at a bishop until I broke and took 10,000 steps a day some times "missing" the bus and walking home 2 to 3 miles and lying by saying I was at a friend's house.
I dropped a lot of weight then put it back on them dropped more and kept yoyoing.
Much like in a beautiful mind the main character comes to find he his being watched or thinks so and like him my paranoia and fear came to be. I became vegetarian then vegan because I didn't trust the meat or dairy industry and I thought they were cruel.
Packages for food were now costed in marketable lies; every thing was a lie and my body defied the science and math I perused. Calories didn't add up and my body remained my for.
Here I am. I'm not crazy but I still live in fear. The world wants me to get fatter and remain that way. Companies lie to co my control consumers and as a human I am unable to do that which they say we need to live. They have taken away my peace of mind and my ED has evolved yo encompass paranoia and schizophrenic symptoms. I need to be alone so they can't get me.
So this is just something I thought about this morning when I was doing some yoga it's sort of a rant or a journal if you will. Also a beautiful mind is an excellent film if no one has seen it.
Willow
[Rant/Rave] binged while half asleep at 3 AM
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Mon Jul 31 10:42:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpmus/binged_while_half_asleep_at_3_am/
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I'm so mad at myself. I was restricting all day and worked out twice. I knew I was hungry when I went to bed but had enough will power to ignore it. Then I woke up at 3 AM and like an out of body experience, headed right to the fridge to binge. I just started eating whatever I could find, shredded cheese, mayonnaise, bread, ranch dressing (sorry it sounds gross). It was surreal like I could see myself doing it but couldn't stop it. Needless to say I'm pretty disappointed in myself. This isn't the first time this has happened. It's pretty scary to be so out of control. I didn't bother trying to purge it, I just went right back to bed. I hate purging in the middle of the night because then I have to wait at least 12 hours to weigh myself or work out or eat again. It's a weird rule I follow. I refuse to let that happen again today :/
[Rant/Rave] My fiancé went to a strip club for his bachelor party. I thought I would be okay with it but I feel like shit about my body now and idk what to do about it.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Mon Jul 31 10:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpk2k/my_fiancé_went_to_a_strip_club_for_his_bachelor/
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I am super sex positive and bisexual and not usually so weird about nudity or sexual stuff. My fiancé is quiet and a programmer and not the kind of guy that would ever ever go to a strip club. I don't know what happened. Actually, I do know - he's got this one asshole friend who probably did this. They were supposed to just have a laid back night gaming and playing beer pong. He stumbled in at 1:30 smelling horrible and the most drunk I've ever seen him. I thought it was cute at the time, they'd mentioned maybe going out for drinks after and I encouraged it! He rarely goes out with his friends, so I wanted him to have a good time. I had mentioned a few weeks ago that I'd be cool with it if he WANTED to do that. It was mostly a joke because I never thought he would actually end up there.
I'm not a prude, I actually have two stripper friends who are super cool girls dancing their way through school. It's not like I am judging him for it or like I think he did anything inappropriate. I just didn't expect it. So when he told me the next morning that that's where he went, I was surprised by how hurt I was.
I put on a lot of weight while dealing with major binge issues and depression. I also have major spinal issues so I am not as active as I used to be. I'm recovering from that and on heavy restriction while I try to get small, but I'm obviously still majorly uncomfortable with my body and I didn't realize that him going to a strip club was going to make me feel that bad about my body.
Here he was staring at girls with bodies I would kill to have, who are doing things that I can't possibly do. And it was clear that he enjoyed it to some extent. Idk. He tried to make jokes about it but I didn't want to hear it.
I know this isn't like him and he's normally the sweetest, most affectionate person he makes me feel good about myself most of the time! But this was a hard blow and I am so upset about this :(
[Rant/Rave] Inevitable weekend binges?!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 31 10:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpjot/inevitable_weekend_binges/
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I know I'm not the only one, I literally saw 2 posts in the past 12 hours saying the weekend was a disaster for them!
Idk what it is, I think I try to eat "normally" and enjoy myself with friends and alcohol and then it just gets out of control. And then Monday rolls around and my stomach is a bit more expanded so it's harder to restrict. I feel like this has been a trend all throughout my ED, and I'm at a loss at how to get past it.
Not have a social life? Quit drinking? Exercise to compensate? Bulimia?!!
I'm especially amped about this particular weekend because it was so bad that I refused to enter my calories in. Which I have consistently been doing for a month. I'm tired of starving on Monday-Tuesday, getting my bearings on Wednesday, feeling nice and empty on Thursday, then tanking Friday through Sunday.
Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Wash, Rinse, Repeat.
[Discussion] Bloating after eating?
/u/napalmlife_
Created: Mon Jul 31 10:11:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qpffp/bloating_after_eating/
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Does anyone else wake up feeling good about their body (no stomach bulge, etc) but then after eating literally anything your lower abdomen inflates like a damn balloon?? By the end of the day I look like I swallowed a beach ball but when I wake up the next morning my body is back to normal. It's so infuriating because it makes me feel like shit! Like literally if I'm going to the beach in my bikini I make sure I don't eat all day before I go so I don't have extendo-stomach. UGHGHH
[Rant/Rave] Family okay with not eating to fit in dress??
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|154.8 lbs lbs|24.6|20F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 09:52:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qparc/family_okay_with_not_eating_to_fit_in_dress/
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So I'm going to Canada to see my grand uncle! He's having a 50th wedding anniversary with his wife and omg I love them so dearly. My aunt, sister, and I are finding dresses to wear for the event. So I have this dress that's the little black dress. It's a size 3 banana republic cute black dress. Right now I'm a size 5. I tried on the dress and it was so tight and I could barely zip it up. But as soon as my sister & my aunt saw it they were like, "That's the dress!! If you eat very little for a week it'll fit!!".
My family knows nothing about my ED and she gave me the okay to exercise + restrict pretty much..I have 11 days to lose 10 lbs. I feel the pressure. I'm glad though because it's helping me get together after that horrid binge week!
But 10 lbs in 11 days? That's basically a 1 lbs per day. If I lose about 10 lbs and wear spandex, it'll JUST fit..
Idk man, I feel weird that my family is like "lol don't eat for a week" but then again my aunt & sister are obese and trying to lose weight so I guess it's just like meh???
Idk man I'm just so stoked that if I drop weight to fit into said dress no one will bat an eye
[Tip] r/fasting has some good tips
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 129 | GW: 113 | 20.9]
Created: Mon Jul 31 09:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qp8m4/rfasting_has_some_good_tips/
---
Most of you probably already know about it but for those who don't. Has some good tips on things like eating salt when fasting and stuff ❤️
[Tip] r/fasting has some good tips
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 09:42:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qp878/rfasting_has_some_good_tips/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Tell me about your ED dreams
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 31 09:26:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qp4ho/tell_me_about_your_ed_dreams/
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I love dreaming and I'm an active dreamer, which means that my everyday life spills into my subconscious.
Last night I dreamt I stepped on the scale and reached my GW but still hated the way I looked in the mirror. Accelerated dream mode activated and I kept losing more and more weight but still looked like a blob in the mirror. It was pretty upsetting, but clearly that's a fear I've had that I didn't realize.
What kind of disordered dreams have you had?
[Humor] Rabid Weight Loss
/u/life-as-a-loon [5'3"|CW 108.6|19.7|F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 09:20:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qp322/rabid_weight_loss/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvuc1ujZv6Y
[Rant/Rave] My birthday is in a week.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 08:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qoxce/my_birthday_is_in_a_week/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] [Discussion] What do you usually order at restaurants when calorie counts aren't available?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Mon Jul 31 08:20:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qopf6/discussion_what_do_you_usually_order_at/
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I'm going out to lunch with my dad and grandpa later, and they're going to be suspicious if I don't eat (since I usually eat junk at restaurants). But I'm trying to get on track, except the restaurant I'm going to doesn't provide calorie counts.
I had a mini binge at breakfast this morning and felt like shit, so I want to order something very low cal. But I don't want to make it super obvious and just order a plain salad lol.
[Other] Back to 400/day
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 143.8 | GW 139 | 21.45 | complicated | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 07:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qof3r/back_to_400day/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Thought about "To the Bone" last night while i was in the hospital lmao.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 07:21:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qod2d/thought_about_to_the_bone_last_night_while_i_was/
---
[deleted]
[Other] This subreddit is amazing
/u/tragicheskiy [175cm | 65.5kg :'( | 21.02 | GW 55kg | -2 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 07:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qocv3/this_subreddit_is_amazing/
---
Seriously. I've been dealing with ED for 7 years (I'm 26 now). It's so good to find a place with other people going through this shit.
I was 'recovered' for 3 years until last week when the ED switch flicked in my brain. Like FUCK I am HUGE - I don't want to show my face in public, I am so ashamed of myself. I have been restricting/fasting for the last 4 days now - I need to get back to my old weight - I look like a god damn walrus.
I've been on a lot of pro ana websites but never really connected with them for some reason. Thank you girls and guys on here for talking about what you are going through - it's amazing to not to feel so alone and know there are other people on this fucked up journey too.
If anyone ever wants to talk or anything - PM me!
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 7.31
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Mon Jul 31 06:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qo1yh/thinspiration_731/
---
http://imgur.com/a/4itof
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! July 31, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 31 06:14:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qo0so/weekly_stats_update_july_31_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 31, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 31, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 31 06:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qo0rt/daily_food_diary_july_31_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 31, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] How do you guys log and keep track of your calories?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 05:51:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qnwnc/how_do_you_guys_log_and_keep_track_of_your/
---
I've used MFP, Lose It, CARROT and maybe a few others I can't remember but they all have partly inaccurate or missing information that's a pain to log or just unable to.
I'm considering writing it all down in a book for safe keeping (because I like writing the numbers) but I'm not sure how I could keep it conspicuous or hidden.
For the meantime, however, I'll log it all into an excel sheet. I'd be interested to see how you guys log and keep track of your data.
when someone invites you out for dinner but you already hit your daily calorie max
/u/kaylastiel [5'6 | CW: 140 | BMI: 22.6 | -40lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 05:43:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qnvcc/when_someone_invites_you_out_for_dinner_but_you/
---
http://i.imgur.com/vgW6ecu.jpg
[Other] I'm sorry
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Mon Jul 31 05:42:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qnuzp/im_sorry/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Insomnia - I'm wide awake, It's Morning
/u/We_Are_Vigilant_ [5'9"| CW164 GW150 | ~ | M]
Created: Mon Jul 31 05:05:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qnp8g/insomnia_im_wide_awake_its_morning/
---
This has been driving me insane. The best I can get is some weird kind of dream state where I'm thinking about stuff and kind of out of it. Mostly just up and about though.
I feel like I've literally ran out of things on the internet to watch/listen to/read/consume. I got like 1500 movies, I giant list of playlists. I can't really concentrate on reading at night.
If any of you have this problem, what the hell do you do to pass the time!? I need ideas!
[Rant/Rave] Scales are trying to fuck with me?!
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS
Created: Mon Jul 31 04:58:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qno1a/scales_are_trying_to_fuck_with_me/
---
Honestly I'm so fed up with scales. It's like they just randomly pick a number to display.
The scale in my house consistently tells me I'm around 2lbs lighter than the scale at my boyfriends house. The scale that I used while I was on vacation tells me I'm a whole 4 pounds heavier than what I weigh at my own house.
I cannot remember a time where two different scales have told me the same weight, I'm freaking out, how the fuck am I supposed to know which one's correct?
[Help] How to eat more?
/u/IceInIridian
Created: Mon Jul 31 04:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qnnv9/how_to_eat_more/
---
I'm not actually sure if this is a good sub to post this so I'm sorry in advance.
I've been heavily restricting for about two months, eating around 500-800 calories a day. It's really bad. I'm surprised I didn't give up and binge somewhere in those 60 days.
Anyway, I hit my goal weight and now I'm trying to maintain, which for me (5'4,115) is about 1700 calories a day? How does a normal person even eat that much? I'm stuck at seven hundred and I don't think I can eat anymore. It's a really weird problem to have haha
Does anyone have tips on reaching maintenance calories? Or is this just a weird me problem that gets better?
[Rant/Rave] My bellybutton changed!!
/u/Zaomi [172 cm | BMI: 19.80 | GW: 55kg | HW: 67 kg | 21F |]
Created: Mon Jul 31 04:02:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qngdn/my_bellybutton_changed/
---
I just realised that my bellybutton is not "sad" anymore and looks pretty cute now. I hope you understand what i am talking about. :D
Anyone else with stupid goals like a cute bellybutton ?
[Rant/Rave] Just feeling positive for once! How about you?
/u/aconnescaper [64 in | 137.6 lbs | 22.9 bmi | -14.4 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 31 03:45:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qndy5/just_feeling_positive_for_once_how_about_you/
---
On holiday, was SURE I was gaining because frankly I've barely been keeping track of cals and everything is unknown cals anyway, so I try my best guess but who tf really knows, right? Anyway, I'm sure I'm overestimating a bit but by my count I've been hitting around 1400 cals each day. Been walking a lot and I've been hungry and too fucked to care tbh.
Anyway, long story short, I finally found a moment alone (on hard tile, at last!) to weigh in and I've LOST 5 LBS!
I lost! While eating everything! And not even restricting much! I've had bread and dessert and takeaway and everything else under the sun but I've still lost.
Just very pleased with myself right now!
How are you guys?
[Other] Fucking a married man. About to do blow.
/u/jigglemonster
Created: Mon Jul 31 03:18:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qnai3/fucking_a_married_man_about_to_do_blow/
---
He told me it would make me skinny. I'm drunk. I love the way he hurts me. I want to die. But I'm going to be 95 goddamn pounds when I do.
[Rant/Rave] I love you
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Mon Jul 31 03:16:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qna8x/i_love_you/
---
I love you. So now that your gone I see no point. I'm laying in my bed wondering how far I can push myself. I think about us and i lose all desire to eat. I lost a part of me.
Now it's time to lose the rest.
[Discussion] What TV show have you been watching recently?
/u/NerdBird49 [5'5.5" | HW: 216 | CW: ~160 | GW: 140 lbs | UGW: 116 lbs | F 20]
Created: Mon Jul 31 02:52:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qn70l/what_tv_show_have_you_been_watching_recently/
---
Hopefully everyone can get some good recommendations out of this thread! I pretty much exclusively watch what's on Netflix, occasionally some Amazon Prime stuff. In the past couple months, I've watched the new season of OITNB, You Me Her, Jane the Virgin, Grace and Frankie, and now I'm watching Riverdale.
[Rant/Rave] No point
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Mon Jul 31 02:50:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qn6p4/no_point/
---
No point in eating anymore. Lost all desire to eat.
[Rant/Rave] So I binged but it doesn't seem that bad in retrospect...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 31 01:15:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qmui0/so_i_binged_but_it_doesnt_seem_that_bad_in/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave
I fasted for 4 days after binging for 3 days. Iogged all the calories from the binges into Lose it, the app, and then the last three days I've been working out at the gym doing mostly cardio and running on the treadmill for an hour and a half.
According to lose it and my math which is rough estimates of how much I burned at the gym and how much I burn at work and with walking as much as I do.
For today I burned 2700 calories, 1250 is the rounded down estimate from the gym. 800 from walking a bunch before and after work, and 600 the low estimate of how much I potentially burn in a shift of being on my feet and cooking for 8 hours.
According to lose it I burned 2700 and my binge was a little over 2200. I have lose it set to give me 500 calories even though I am considering setting it to zero so I can only consume part of what i burn according to my rough estimates.
So follow my logic. Will I gain from this binge or potentially keep losing?
How long does post binge bloat and food weight last? I feel like I always hold onto food in my stomach forever after a binge
I plan to work out tomorrow for an hour after my doctors appt and also on my days off starting Wednesday and Thursday.
I don't even know why I binge anymore. Food doesn't even taste good. My mind psyches up the taste of things and when I finally eat things taste bland.
I hope this binge doesn't fuck up my progress too much.. August is going to be my month and September. According to losertown if I go to the gym either every other day, and continue working and walki mg and not binging enough to gain I'll hit my first goal by mid September and my second by mid October.
I want to lose 20 pounds this next month. According to a different calculator if i burn 700 to 800 calories every day more than I eat ie being in the negative 800 with my BMR of a little over 2500 for my active job I can lose 5 to 6 pounds a week which I hope to do.
I am getting sick of binging and they are getting smaller. My binge tonight was 2200 which would have been maintainence or just below not counting the extra exercise I did at the gym.
Does any of my logic make sense?
Willow
[Discussion] What foods are the hardest for you to resist?
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Mon Jul 31 00:59:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qms2a/what_foods_are_the_hardest_for_you_to_resist/
---
For me its yakisoba. I feel so bloated and sick afterwards but the flavor is to die for. Need to force myself to stick to small portions of it.
I need answers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 31 00:17:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qmmbk/i_need_answers/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] How to hide chewing/spitting when eating in front of people?
/u/booger-burger69 [5'3 | CW:122 | UGW: 100 | 21.6 | -13 | 21F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 23:20:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qmdxb/how_to_hide_chewingspitting_when_eating_in_front/
---
[removed]
[Goal] Dropped under my adult low weight.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Sun Jul 30 23:08:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qmc69/dropped_under_my_adult_low_weight/
---
In HS I was a very healthy weight until I fucked up my knee and stopped dancing. Then I binged. And then I got into a LTR with a dude who loves my cooking and who likes to go out for nice dinners. So I put on weight.
Then I got put on medication which helped with my binging, but makes me feel weird. Whatever. I've also been heavily restricting, with plenty of fuck ups. Haven't binged in a while though which is cool.
But a few days ago I surprised myself when I dropped under my next goal weight. I still have a ways to go to reverse the binge damage, but I haven't been this weight since senior year of high school (which was 8 years ago for me, lol)
It also means I'm halfway to my UGW, which is 15 pounds less than my HS weight. So, yay! Restriction is doing it for me as long as I keep it under 650ish and as long as I keep the binge monster away.
My usual calorie calculator puts me at meeting my goal in the next few months, which is good! I'll be happy to get there. Just mad that it took me this long. God, I was so fucked. The binging was so gross. It still grosses me out. Yuck.
[Discussion] Does your body eventually adapt to fewer calories? I'm finding it near impossible just to function 😩
/u/Girlwithdesertdreams
Created: Sun Jul 30 22:56:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qmabt/does_your_body_eventually_adapt_to_fewer_calories/
---
I've finally cut down my calories, and it is pretty drastic I guess but it's so I'm not so insecure on my birthday in less than a month.
I heard once *I think* that your body usually adapts to fewer calories and can take a couple weeks.
Has anyone here actually had this happen? Because right now, I've been at it for 3 full days and I feel horrible. I feel like I've got zero energy and just in general feel like a zombie.
I need tips please 😭
[Rant/Rave] Planned on going to sleep. Instead I purged.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 22:23:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qm54s/planned_on_going_to_sleep_instead_i_purged/
---
[deleted]
[Other] I binged like crazy but it was was worth it for Rick and Morty
/u/Rickticia
Created: Sun Jul 30 22:18:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qm47w/i_binged_like_crazy_but_it_was_was_worth_it_for/
---
Sorry, just a random thought. I'm feeling guilty about the food now that the new episode finished (don't worry, I won't spoil anything!), but I absolutely stuffed my face. I'm definitely gonna regret this more tomorrow when I weigh myself after this food-filled weekend. It was worth it for now...
...you'll probably see me ranting later this week cuz of this.
[Goal] Actually seeing some progress...finally.
/u/floodinginmymind [5'8" | CW: fat | BMI: fat | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 21:56:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qm0dk/actually_seeing_some_progressfinally/
---
I've lost 23 pounds in the past month. And I'm losing weight by the day.
I've restricted to 200-300 calories a day. I am sticking to coffee, gum, and crackers. Once a day I'll allow myself to eat 150 calories of protein to sustain me. I've been eating 500-1000 calories a day, but now I've made it a week on around 200-300. And I'm staying there for another 25 lbs. and maybe then some.
I won't share my weight because it's too shameful for me right now. But I'm 25 lbs away from my GW and I can almost see it on the horizon. Here's hoping... I'm on the home stretch again.
[Help] Need support tonight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 21:23:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qlv0i/need_support_tonight/
---
[deleted]
[Help] primatene vs bronkaid
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Sun Jul 30 21:16:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qltt1/primatene_vs_bronkaid/
---
Buying one tomorrow and need some help. Which one had less nasty side effects? What dose should I take? Also for it to be effective do I need to stack it with something else? I don't want to be too gittery, just a good morning & afternoon push.
[Discussion] Highly Sensitive Persons?
/u/jackbarakitten [5'9'' | 136.0lbs | 19.72 | female]
Created: Sun Jul 30 21:16:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qltrk/highly_sensitive_persons/
---
Hi all, I've recently read (and re-read) Dr. Elaine Aron's book on the Hightly Sensitive Trait. She outlines that 20% of the population has this trait that makes people more sensitive to stimulus such as sounds and smells and touch (making them more likely to be overwhelmed in crowded/loud situations) as well as more sensitive to others emotions and such. [Here is more about the trait] (http://hsperson.com/) and [here is a link to take the test to get an idea of if you are a HSP.] (http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/) I bring this up because I know for a fact growing up a HSP in a non HSP-friendly environment contributed a whole lot to the development of my panic disorder, and I'm relooking back on the development of my eating disorder as a young girl and I'm seeing it a lot as a coping mechanism for suppressed anxieties and discomforts (mostly relating to my mom but ya know). Anyways I thought I'd bring it up to see if any of you are HSP that have noticed connections. The books worth checking out for those of you who've noticed heightened sensitivity, awareness, and frequent desire to retreat to solitude.
[Rant/Rave] I did so badly this weekend
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 20:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qlnf6/i_did_so_badly_this_weekend/
---
I ate and didn't count my calories. Had lunch with my boyfriend and his mom yesterday and she makes us SO MUCH FOOD. Then I went out with friends and had a hot dog, fried dough, cheese fries and like 4 beers. Today I ate the biggest breakfast sandwich ever and a bunch of Chinese food.
I stuck to <500 all last week(mon-fri) and I was doing so great. Hopefully I can keep it up this week and not be such a fucking pig.
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like their spirit is broken?
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 20:33:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qlmca/dae_feel_like_their_spirit_is_broken/
---
The majority of my happiness is outside my control because I get the most fulfillment in life from relationships with people. Knowing that, how could I not be depressed? (And I am very depressed and have been for over a year now)
And like, so much of life in general is outside our control. How the fuck do I cope with that?
[Help] Those of you that have successfully slimmed their legs, please help me!
/u/MidnightStorms_
Created: Sun Jul 30 20:29:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qllm7/those_of_you_that_have_successfully_slimmed_their/
---
[removed]
[Other] LOW CAL SNACK RECIPES BABES
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 20:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qlk6t/low_cal_snack_recipes_babes/
---
http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2015/02/08/12-valentines-desserts-can-make-100-calories/
[Tip] Ramen!
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 136.6 | BMI: 28.09 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 20:09:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qli0k/ramen/
---
Open a pack of ramen... throw away the noodles. Dump the seasoning packet (maruchan seasoning packet is about 10 kcal) over some well rinsed shirataki noodles (Pasta Zero brand, 30 kcal for the whole bag) in a dry pan over medium heat with just enough water to make it kinda soupy. Add a couple splashes of sriracha if you like it spicy (I doused mine, maybe two tablespoons total... 10 kcal). Just heat till the water starts to bubble and sizzle... maybe 5 min? Too much ramen to eat, and roughly 50 calories.
TMI side note: don’t freak when you have a BM. You do not have worms 😂.
[Rant/Rave] I'm just laying here in just underwear because it's hot in here and I'm looking at my fat stomach and floppy boobs and wide legs and hips and stretch marks and I wanna go purge I'm so gross
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 18:46:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ql3nw/im_just_laying_here_in_just_underwear_because_its/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Does anyone else have an Instagram account exclusively for posting what they eat in a day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 18:29:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ql0kz/does_anyone_else_have_an_instagram_account/
---
[deleted]
[Other] My disorder has never felt more real than now. [OTHER]
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 18:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ql0ir/my_disorder_has_never_felt_more_real_than_now/
---
I always felt like a fraud. When I first started having issues I was a heavy re stricter, but never made it under 145. Then I went bulimic and balloned up. I'm dropping weight now like its nothin' and its empowering me so much.
I went to buy a scale yesterday and was priced at 34$, turns out it was actually 64$ at the register. Bought it anyways and not I'm at the point where I have 2 different scales. My old one I've been using since I was 14, at least, so 4 years. And now my new one.
I weigh 3 times a day at least, naked everytime. I check over, and over, and over again with each scale to make sure its the same number. I'm body checking all the time, and my new GW is *juuuuuust* about the cutoff work being underweight bmi. But ayyye, who knows I'll probably lower it again.
[Other] I haven’t looked this thin in months. So pleased with my progress!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 18:22:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qkza3/i_havent_looked_this_thin_in_months_so_pleased/
---
https://i.redd.it/aw1j3edlntcz.jpg
[Discussion] DAE remember when rock bottom hit but
/u/Tomatobasilmozz
Created: Sun Jul 30 18:08:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qkwcz/dae_remember_when_rock_bottom_hit_but/
---
Please flair as discussion
---didn't comprehend why they were disordered? Do you have insight into what happened as time passes?
As I'm over ten years older than I was at my worst, I kind of feel like I know the "why's" and for the first time in a while I recently cried over it. I remember the beginning, but then I also remember the worst of it.
I'm not actually asking anyone to disclose any personal stories they feel uncomfortable sharing (feel free to if you choose) but do you know, in your life, how to pinpoint moments that piece together a bigger problem for the root of an ED?
[Discussion] DAE wonder if period cravings are even real?
/u/Andersoncooperspenis [5'6 | CW:😭 | GW:115 |-29| F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 17:19:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qknig/dae_wonder_if_period_cravings_are_even_real/
---
OK, so this is kind of dumb, but sometimes I wonder if my period "cravings" are actually real, or if because I've heard about them since I was a little girl that now it's just morphed into some subconscious excuse to eat myself into oblivion and feel marginally less guilty. Even though, when I give into the "craving" I ultimately feel shittier? Idk, its like a way to minimize my own accountability or some bullshit
In case it's not 100% evident, I'm currently in a food coma basking in the guilt of giving into my pms "cravings" that have been going on all week kms
[Help] Going to have a checkup in two weeks
/u/nycthrowaway51
Created: Sun Jul 30 16:55:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qkipz/going_to_have_a_checkup_in_two_weeks/
---
First of all, sorry if I've posted too many help posts here. As you can see from my username, this account was originally only for one post, but since this sub has been so supportive I've ended up posting some more.
My current weight is around 90 pounds right now, and my goal weight is 87. I've promised myself that once I get to that weight, I'll start eating normally until I'm back to a healthy weight. But the problem is I have a checkup with my pediatrician on August 15th. Would it be possible to get to 87 pounds and get back to about 100 by then to avoid suspicion? Or should I just wait until after the appointment to try to reach my goal weight?
[Rant/Rave] Progress! At last!
/u/ativan4u
Created: Sun Jul 30 16:45:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qkgu6/progress_at_last/
---
Guys! I lost 6lbs in 20 days!!! I'm so happy. I'm still not at my goal weight but am so excited to finally have some progress. I also cut like 1.5min per mile off my 5k pace by running more consistently (plus the cooler weather helps a ton)... finally back below 8min/mile pace!
Some days have been hard restricting and the binging moments have felt very defeating but I am on my way back to my goal weight.
... Of course we're going to the beach next week with my family and I'll probably gain it all back. But at least I can be happy for the moment!
[Rant/Rave] Kitchen Dance Partay
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 128 | SW: 170 | GW: Less | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 16:36:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qkewf/kitchen_dance_partay/
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I just watched an old video my husband showed me of my friend's 30th birthday a couple of years ago. We were drunk and singing in the kitchen. The video is hilarious, but oh. my. gosh. was I fat! I was at least 40 pounds heavier, and I remember feeling like I had lost weight at that time!! Ugh!!
Looking at that video and seeing how disgusting I looked is an amazing appetite suppressant! I was feeling bingey today, but now have no appetite, because I NEVER want to look like that again!
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Kitchen Dance Party
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 16:32:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qke5w/rantrave_kitchen_dance_party/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I can't keep exercising so much. My appetite has gone up so much.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sun Jul 30 16:30:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qkds3/i_cant_keep_exercising_so_much_my_appetite_has/
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I love exercising and I want a nice body but I can't do this anymore
[Other] Real friends <3
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 16:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qk81e/real_friends_3/
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I wasn't sure what to tag this as but whatevs.
Yesterday I had a 'binge' and purged it up as well. I was freaking out bad, like having panic attacks and just losing my mind TBH. My one irl ana friend helped me calm down and told he me to get a warm pad to ease my tummy pains, and aid digestion. I felt so much better and peach friends helped as well. I'm so grateful for all of you peeps for helping me calm down from freaking out so bad.
I LOVE YOU CRAZIES.
[Rant/Rave] I Hate My Birthday
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 15:59:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qk7oh/i_hate_my_birthday/
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GAH my birthday isn't even until Thursday and all I've done today is eat because everyone wants to celebrate with me. My mom and sister will be at Johns Hopkins on my actual birthday for a college visit, and then I'm going to Baltimore to meet them this weekend and to hang out with friends and shit and so we're celebrating tonight instead and that means I had to eat so much food. And now we are heading to my grandparents for cake and presents, though I've already been told that my mom and sister haven't gotten me a present and neither has my aunt so why do I have to go eat cake?
Anyone else hate their birthday for this reason?
[Help] Reached my lowest weight as an adult
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 113 | 17.7 ]
Created: Sun Jul 30 15:46:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qk564/reached_my_lowest_weight_as_an_adult/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "you're not thin. you scare people."
/u/7376549
Created: Sun Jul 30 15:22:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qjzz0/youre_not_thin_you_scare_people/
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"...and i'm guessing you like that."
(sorry, not sure what to flair this :/)
those lines were kind of... a realisation for me. i mean i guess i knew it all along really, but hearing them out loud..
i don't necessarily even want to be thin for the aesthetic. i mean, i like thinness, i think it looks good, and i want to look good. but it's deeper than that, isn't it? i want to scare people. i want to freak people out. i want people to notice, i want them to worry.
i don't want anyone to intervene. god forbid. but i want people to notice. i want them to wonder. i want them to whisper about me. i want the comments, the stares, the dirty looks. i want the "oh, 7376549? he doesn't eat," said only-half-jokingly when i order iced tea when everyone else is getting pastries.
like with self harming, on some level, i do this for attention. i'm so lonely, and i crave it. i ask myself, if i had more friends, people who cared, a social life -- if i ever left my fucking house -- would i still feel the need to do this? would it even cross my mind?
almost worst of all.. i don't feel capable of getting attention in positive ways. i don't feel like anyone will notice me for the good things i do, for my achievements *(what achievements?)* for my talents *(what talents?)* for my personality *(what fucking personality?)*...
this feels like all i have. the only way i can get people to notice me, to worry about me.
i want to be worried about. i want to be cared for.
god. i feel fucked up.
[Rant/Rave] Jealous of my S.I.L
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 14:59:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qjuz6/jealous_of_my_sil/
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She is just so tiny, she's four years younger than me and so naturally skinny and barely eats anything and I'm just so jealous and I feel like a whale standing next to her.
[Rant/Rave] So I got a puppy
/u/idontknowletsmoveon
Created: Sun Jul 30 14:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qjpaa/so_i_got_a_puppy/
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Not really proed necessarily but, at least puppy walks are happening. I wasn't planning on keeping him, he had a home that fell thru. Couldn't take him to a shelter and so how he's mine. Just wanted to say hey oh here's to miles and miles of walks a day. I'm so glad I've got a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and a cuddle buddy at night. If any of y'all are depressed, DO NOT GET A PUPPY. he's been the hardest work I've ever had in my life, I've had a couple nights crying because I don't know if I am enough for him. But I believe he will be a wonderful companion and completely worth it long run I believe. Just wanted to get that out there.
Edit. I was meditating a few months ago and asked the universe to get rid of my fear, anxiety and to give me patience. Lol the universe gave me a pitbull. The dog im the most afraid of. Cheers to learning and happiness! I gotta be dominant and be happy now
[Discussion] Cronometer cals for loss goal estimate - accurate you think?
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 129 | GW: 113 | 20.9]
Created: Sun Jul 30 14:28:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qjnok/cronometer_cals_for_loss_goal_estimate_accurate/
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I just got Cronometer app ( love it) and I put in that I wanted to lose 2 pounds per week. It said that I had to eat around 390 cals per day. But in the past I have lost around 4-5 pounds a week eating around 600 per day. Is this water weight? (Even if I did it for two weeks) and Crono is saying those 2 pounds a week are "real pounds"?
[Help] ADD and anxiety?
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Sun Jul 30 14:23:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qjmrc/add_and_anxiety/
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So I finally made an appointment to see a psychiatrist after my disorder behaviors practically destroyed my last relationship (yay me!/s). I've been researching like crazy to try and figure out what's wrong with me, and in my (extremely professional medical) opinion, I think I have problems with ADD and anxiety. Has anyone been diagnosed with both of these at the same time? Anything you've realized helps/ doesn't help? Or just any general first visit advice? I'm considering not bringing up the eating problems right away because I think they're just a symptom of the anxiety and ADD (i.e. when I get anxious or I can't focus, I eat. Then I get anxious about gaining weight and can't focus on anything else so I either purge or start restricting). I don't want the whole focus to be on the ED stuff when I think it's the lesser of the problems and I don't want it interfering with their choice in treatment.
Seriously any advice at all would be hugely appreciated. Y'all are pretty much the only support I have left.
[Discussion] does anyone else have ADHD?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 14:01:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qji3i/does_anyone_else_have_adhd/
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im too tired to say much on it but please post your experiences
i always think ridiculous shit like "maybe if i had a 'better' mental disorder like OCD id have more self control"
obviously im aware OCD is a horrible nightmare (and actually the opposite of self control) and im just a whiny pissbaby.
but my entire life is a wreck with a string of failures and disappointments in my wake. and im still fat. and im still alive, and im still fat.
[Humor] ED Problem #720: I am obsessed with weight loss/health magazine. I buy them all.
/u/NotStephany [5'5| too fat | 33.55 | -95lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 13:45:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qjeqz/ed_problem_720_i_am_obsessed_with_weight/
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https://i.redd.it/3y968gf6ascz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] This is a prison sentence of an undetermined period..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 30 13:29:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qjbbu/this_is_a_prison_sentence_of_an_undetermined/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I am the warden, the guard, the accused, the prosecuting and defense attorney.
Looking foreword I feel like every say is misery. I don't like my days. I either push myself physically until I feel like I'm going to break or I suffer mentally. This body is a prison. Until I am smaller or in control I will never be free.
Every calorie burned is a second shorter on my sentence and yet every one consumed is a second longer on my sentence I can't win and I will never be free.
I feel like the only way out of this is to die from it. I don't know what to do..
I feel so hopeless. I've worked out for 3 hours a day the last three days and worked 4 days of work and I feel like I need to keep this rigorous routine to be in control. I can't not be in control..
I can't not be in control..
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Just need to get this off my chest
/u/goldkitty8
Created: Sun Jul 30 13:20:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qj9gh/just_need_to_get_this_off_my_chest/
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I know how this is going to sound but there's an acquaintance who is so overweight that whenever I hear her name mentioned my mood instantly declines and my heart races and I can't stop thinking about her size for a good half hour or so, I have to force myself to think of thin, pretty women.
I am so terrified that if I eat like a regular person I will become her size. The first time I met her, I was horrified at her arms. I know how this sounds. I'm sorry.
What's weird is that I have seen/interacted with people way bigger than her but I never felt so uncomfortable around someone just because of their size before.
I just want this to stop so that it doesn't spiral out of control until I can't leave my house for fear of seeing a fat person.
Fuck you, ana. I'm so tired.
[Rant/Rave] A romper I bought that used to be too small now fits perfectly(!!)
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 105 | SW 132 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 12:33:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qizm0/a_romper_i_bought_that_used_to_be_too_small_now/
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http://imgur.com/a/vgw3D
Calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 12:03:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qit3n/calories/
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[removed]
[Other] Found a gem of a TV show - Fat Friends
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 117 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Sun Jul 30 12:00:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qise7/found_a_gem_of_a_tv_show_fat_friends/
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I stumbled on this by accident on Youtube (the whole series is on there).
Fat Friends a British show about members of a slimming club in Leeds, Each episode centers on one of the women/men, who are going through differing issues, and how their weight is either the root cause or the result of their issues.
It's a drama/comedy and generally feel good as well. Some of the characters show signs of ED symptoms and it's really interesting how they deal with them differently. I really enjoy how each episode is centered on a different character as well.
It's generally got better by the episode :))
Thought some of you might enjoy it if you haven't seen it already!
<3
[Humor] Same
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW: 182. CW: 161 BMI: 23.35.]
Created: Sun Jul 30 11:58:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qis23/same/
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https://i.redd.it/l1g2noeyqrcz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I found the best app for portion control
/u/stickbuggy [6'1.5" | 190lb | 23.5 | -60lb | F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 11:31:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qimez/i_found_the_best_app_for_portion_control/
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Figwee! My doctor showed it to me (to help me "eat healthier" lmao). I don't have access to my food scale currently, and this thing has been helping so much. it gives you a visual showing how much food = a certain weight. so, for example, if you want to see how much 4oz of cashews is, you could play around in the app and it'll show you. it even gives the calories too! I honestly love this app so much.
[Rant/Rave] Off topic, but tomorrow is my birthday.
/u/Catsorbras
Created: Sun Jul 30 11:11:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qiiby/off_topic_but_tomorrow_is_my_birthday/
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And I have never felt more lonely, because I have no one to celebrate it with. I have my family, and I feel terrible because I should be grateful for that but I am not. We are never close, and I wish I could spend my birthday with my friends. Except they don't care.
There is a lot I want to say, but I don't want to spam everyone and I am too tired to type all I want. And I don't care much about birthdays anyway.
It's just that I will be turning 21 tomorrow, and I will be working tomorrow and running low on sleep (again) and I have to smile and pretend I have nothing planned because I don't care about birthdays instead of because no one cares about me, and because birthdays just remind me how lonely I am.
I hope whoever reading this is having a great day. Thanks for reading. I hope it is sunny where you are.
Very Tedious distraction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 11:07:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qihhh/very_tedious_distraction/
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https://i.redd.it/s9edk33yhrcz.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone else accidentally enter ketosis when they restrict?
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 117 | F | 👽]
Created: Sun Jul 30 10:44:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qickh/does_anyone_else_accidentally_enter_ketosis_when/
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I've been trying to find similar stories from other people but am having trouble finding accounts of other people accidentally entering ketosis.
It happens to me when I'm successfully restricting almost without fail: weird breath, sudden drops in water weight, nausea, brain fog followed by mental clarity. My bf pointed out the breath and visibly noticeable drop in water weight today, and I realized that I was in ketosis again.
Does this happen to anyone else? Is something wrong with me??
[Discussion] Why I have never and will never be hospitalized. [Discussion]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 10:39:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qibif/why_i_have_never_and_will_never_be_hospitalized/
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https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6qggbn/what_iswas_the_most_toxic_community_youve_been_a/dkx551a?context=3
[Discussion] anyone wanna talk binge eating on peach?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 10:37:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qib6e/anyone_wanna_talk_binge_eating_on_peach/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] A conversation that makes me horrified to be hospitalized for anything [Discussion]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 10:36:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qiaus/a_conversation_that_makes_me_horrified_to_be/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6qggbn/what_iswas_the_most_toxic_community_youve_been_a/
[Rant/Rave] Hour 28 in my fast
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Sun Jul 30 09:59:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qi3gh/hour_28_in_my_fast/
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After doing horrible with staying on track and actually gaining 3 pounds over the last week, i'm actually content with myself at the moment. I've done really well in my fast only drinking water, tea, and black coffee. It doesn't feel like I haven't eaten in this long but maybe that's because I started my fast yesterday after I ate breakfast because I had to work all day. Still took my meds and multi-vitamin today though I might take an extra calcium supplement. Anyway thank you, this is the only place I can share anything lately... I haven't even told my current therapist of 2+ years about my disordered eating lately. I've been treated like I had an eating disorder throughout my life as well as while in inpatient for something not related. They thought I had an ED just because I had no appetite due to the depression and I have always been under weight. Although it did send me to the main hospital for an IV during inpatient. I don't think I have a true eating disorder and I don't think my therapist would think that either. Whoa sorry that went off topic, guess i'm kinda pissed about how they treated me and weighed me all the time and had me record what I ate, since i'm pretty sure that's why I keep track of my weight and calorie intake now. End on a happier note ; This community of people is amazing and i'm quickly growing attached :) hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Lunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 09:39:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhzmy/lunch/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How to lose over a pound in just one hour!!! Doctors hate her etc.
/u/Ms_Rainbow [5'8"/173cm | CW: 55.5kg | BMI (new): 18.3 | 21F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 09:18:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhvm5/how_to_lose_over_a_pound_in_just_one_hour_doctors/
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By having really bad diarrhea. Yep. My stomach hurts so bad, but hey, I lost a pound and a half in water weight... that I'm going to gain back immediately when I can eat and drink again. Oh well! At least I got a glimpse of my next goal weight on the scale.
Also hi, I'm new! I would post a proper intro but I don't have the energy to think properly right now, so this will have to do for now lol.
On my phone (for reasons you can guess), so I guess this is a rant/rave.
[Rant/Rave] Binging at buffet for first time in months
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sun Jul 30 09:04:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhsow/binging_at_buffet_for_first_time_in_months/
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I don't know why I am posting this. I guess I've found it helpful when others talk about their lows here...we all have success days and days like this. Ive been here for 1.5 hrs and am going to force myself 5o leave soon.
I just feel sad, disgusted and most of all... terrified of reversing progress.
[Other] Can we make a peach megathread?
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Sun Jul 30 08:43:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhoyv/can_we_make_a_peach_megathread/
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I keep seeing peach posts and I want to add everyone but I literally just made mine (same as my username 😉😉😉) so I feel like I can't go and make *another* peach post lol
So if we had a megathread, whenever you make one you can just add everyone who posts their username or something? Idk
[Rant/Rave] UGH
/u/fckinfckface
Created: Sun Jul 30 08:39:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qho67/ugh/
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Just had a huge family dinner to celebrate my brothers graduation.
And as soon as I left I drove straight to fucking McDonald's and consumed about three meals worth of food.
I hate myself
I hate the way my stomach feels
And I hate how I can't purge it all
[Rant/Rave] Got drunk for the first time and didn't even care about the calories!
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:98lb | GW1: 95lb | -61lb | M]
Created: Sun Jul 30 08:26:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhlry/got_drunk_for_the_first_time_and_didnt_even_care/
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So last night I got pretty drunk. this wasn't my first time drinking but it was my first time getting actually messed up a little, and I had a little hard liquor. My SO brought it for me and brought me 3oz of an unknown calorie Italian liquor, and it was very sweet so I know it was very high cal .. but I honestly didn't even care. I drank every drop along with the other alcohols and apparently while I was drunk and facetiming my SO I ate two meringue cookies and two biscoff cookies. Granted , that was 90 calories in snacks (but probably 350 in drinks aaaaaaaagh) and I was still under my goal for the day, but I'm just really happy I didn't care. Im not gonna let it mess with my head, I had a lot of fun.
[Discussion] Anyone else have n-Parents?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Sun Jul 30 08:22:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhl5v/anyone_else_have_nparents/
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I feel like half of my stress eating comes from them.
Either I’m trying to calm down from some specific event, or I’ve been avoiding them all day and the only thing left to keep me busy is food.
[Rant/Rave] Shameful moments off my chest
/u/CoconutTime [5'4 | 128lbs | 22 | binger | f]
Created: Sun Jul 30 08:05:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhiaj/shameful_moments_off_my_chest/
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I know this is a safe place, and I'm trying desperately not to binge anymore, so I'd like to share some awful binge moments that will help motivate me to leave it all behind.
One time I left a party early after I got insanely drunk off of like two beers and ended up eating some thrown away take-out on the city streets.
Stealing a elevator key from a hotel to eat the room service food left in the hallway from every floor.
Eating/drinking every condiment in the dorm fridge.
Once again drunk and having NOTHING in the fridge so i ate an entire container of butter and sour cream (I hate sour cream) IN FRONT OF my best friend. She was disgusted.
Eating a left behind noodle bowl in the Malaysian airport I found in the hallway.
Stealing lots and lots of peoples food in the shared kitchen.
Eating cake off the floor of the restaurant I worked at, eating dirty mushrooms from the storage room, eating people's unfinished food.
There's even more than this guys. I'm a disgusting human. Most of this happened after a period of my life when I was very thin and hiking intensely 4+ hours a day, and was binging hardcore in the kids I babysat cabinets. So then I stopped babysitting and stopped hiking and stopped eating and quickly dropped to like 100 pounds but kept going out with my friends who are low key alcoholics. So yeah, my body was desperate and it seemed all it took was one beer and then I would be desperately trying to eat sour cream. Eating from the trash became too normal :(
** almost forgot, A coworker invited me to a birthday party that I knew nobody there and everyone was drunk or high and after they sang happy birthday they left the cake on the counter and my friend was like "wanna go eat a little" while drunk and I was like "hell yeah" then I proceeded to eat the entire cake with my hands while some people watched in disgust but I couldn't help it. Never hung out with those people again.
*** (Another bad one involving cake) Friend met us at a club and said her work gave her a cheesecake to take home. I then left the dance floor went to the coat room and stole the cheesecake, walked into the bathroom, ate the entire cheesecake sitting on the toilet while listening to drunk girls in the bathroom either pee, vomit, or tell each other how beautiful they are, then threw the trash out and went back to the dance floor.
[Discussion] Watch the movie Raw (2016)
/u/CoconutTime [5'4 | 128lbs | 22 | binger | f]
Created: Sun Jul 30 07:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhenl/watch_the_movie_raw_2016/
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Warning beforehand that there are some graphic scenes in the film, but quick synopsis is it's a belgian film about a freshman at a Vet school that her sister also attends and she struggles with new found cannibalism.
Don't worry it's not some low budget horror film, it's actually really well shot and acted and will most likely turn you off of eating. I felt like binging before watching and holy hell I don't want to eat anything ever again now.
I really enjoyed this movie. Has anyone else seen it?
[Discussion] DAE feel like they need to just grow up?
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sun Jul 30 07:42:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qheh2/dae_feel_like_they_need_to_just_grow_up/
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Sometimes I wish that I could just grow the fuck up and eat according to my goals and not be this weak bitch who feels the need to binge all the damn time- as if binging is something childish and immature.
I've always wanted to be this like, woman. The kind who drinks coffee for breakfast and picks at a salad for lunch and eats a responsible dinner and is thin and accomplished. That's my dream.
Does anyone else equate thinness to maturity? It's like I'm this fat child who can't keep her shit together, but when I'm at my low weight, I'm a disciplined, delicate woman.
[Rant/Rave] I never thought I'd be happy about this but...
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Sun Jul 30 07:41:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qhe8s/i_never_thought_id_be_happy_about_this_but/
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My bras are too big! Yay! My tummy is also flatter. I haven't felt this good about myself in so long.
[Other] The disappointment...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 06:35:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qh4lx/the_disappointment/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 30 06:11:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qh1hn/daily_food_diary_july_30_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 30, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 30 06:11:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qh1fb/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Rant/Rave] my only hobby is myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 04:02:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qgmsx/my_only_hobby_is_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i feel like i don't actually have an eating disorder bc of how heavy i am :/
/u/partofmeapartfromme
Created: Sun Jul 30 03:55:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qgm1f/i_feel_like_i_dont_actually_have_an_eating/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qgm1f/i_feel_like_i_dont_actually_have_an_eating/
[Rant/Rave] Long time lurker, new poster...
/u/SomethingsGottaHave
Created: Sun Jul 30 03:19:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qgie3/long_time_lurker_new_poster/
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Idk if I flared this right.
I'm new but I've been watching this thread a lot and everyone is so supportive and understanding. So...I thought I would post here. I'm currently watching skins seasons 2 and 3 with Effy and that's triggering to me but I love her a lot because I can relate. I'm not diagnosed with what she was but I have similar depression and anxiety and I just can relate.
Anyway can anyone relate to me. I want to be able to drink more and do more drugs like her and still function but I can't and I know that's weird that I want to do that but I want to feel numb and be like her. Skinny but still be able to be free with drugs and alcohol. That's so fucked up and I know but I can't help that I want to be like that.
I hope someone can relate because I haven't found anyone personally that can and that I can relate to. I want so much more...I can't go to a therapist so I probably don't make any sense. I just needed to write this down and hope someone knows what I'm trying to say.
I'm really sorry if I wasted your time. I hope you can understand. But I'm sorry if you can't. I also had a narcissistic mom. So I'm sorry.
[Help] Worried about loose skin
/u/Screamanndshout
Created: Sun Jul 30 02:37:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qge39/worried_about_loose_skin/
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Hello lovelies! I've been in a bit of a panic. After several years of struggling to lose weight, I've managed to actually exceed my original HW. Anyway, I'm beyond embarrassed to admit it, but in order to get my desired weight I'll need to lose nearly 100lbs. I'm only 20, but I'm still terrified than I'll end up like some saggy grandma as a reward for all my hard work. Has anyone been in a similar enough to shed some light on how fucked I really am? I know drinking more water is essential to avoiding lose skin, but any other tips would be greatly appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] Needing support atm (rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 30 01:28:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qg6oj/needing_support_atm_rant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] N o. O n e. C a r e s
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Sat Jul 29 23:49:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfud2/n_o_o_n_e_c_a_r_e_s/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfud2/n_o_o_n_e_c_a_r_e_s/
[Discussion] Actual sound advice for dealing with an eating disorder?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 23:36:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfsot/actual_sound_advice_for_dealing_with_an_eating/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Hypoglycemia symptoms a few hours after a large c/s?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 23:33:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfs9g/hypoglycemia_symptoms_a_few_hours_after_a_large_cs/
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I ate some of the food so I assumed that would help combat it a little but I had dizziness so I had some mio electrolytes, vitamins and then Pepsi and brownie in case if was from low sugar. I was fine for about an hour or so and then it happened again though I was already lying down, but I just felt very wrong in my body, uncomfortable, had some severe palpitations, blood pounding in my ears, slight shaking and the light/noise from my computer playing a show we're too much to handle and I had to turn it off.
Is this common for anyone else after c/s? I've done it before but always with smaller amounts of food than tonight, but if I'd known this I would take the hunger pangs over this mess any day.
[Intro] Hi guys!
/u/cocochaichai
Created: Sat Jul 29 23:31:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfs02/hi_guys/
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Hi all! I've been a lurker on this sub for a couple weeks now and I thought I'd finally introduce myself. I've had eating issues since middle school including restriction, excessive exercise, bingeing, general self hatred, all that fun stuff. I was pretty much recovered for a couple of years, but have recently relapsed so here I am. There's no one in my life that I feel like I can relate to about my ED and I feel so lucky to have found this sub. You are all so wonderful and supportive, and even though I've just been lurking, I already feel less alone knowing that there's people out there that are going through the same things that I am ❤
Side note: could someone please tell me if there is a way to add a flair after my username on mobile, I share a computer with my sis and am too paranoid to go on this sub on it, thanks! :)
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Sat Jul 29 23:26:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfre7/ugh/
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I just binged so hard. I fucking hate myself more than anyone else could. I want to drop off the face of the planet. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to eat. If I eat tomorrow I swear to god I will have to slit my wrists. I HAVE to work out as much as possible tomorrow.
[Discussion] Desperate measures to purge?
/u/social_anx_throwaway
Created: Sat Jul 29 22:14:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfgrv/desperate_measures_to_purge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE want to be mean to other people about their bodies?
/u/kittencow
Created: Sat Jul 29 21:50:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfcy5/dae_want_to_be_mean_to_other_people_about_their/
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[removed]
[Help] Help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 21:36:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qfaot/help/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] So tired and not even hungry
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 29 20:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qf4j6/so_tired_and_not_even_hungry/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I've worked out the last two days at the gym mostly cardio and running and doing elliptical and also walking my normal more than average about. According to my shitty math I've almost worked off my binges from earlier this week but It sucks cause it's another week I just stay in the same range.
I have sort of unintentionally fasted the last three days cause I don't want to undo my progress at the gym when I burn calories I want them to stay unused. I don't feel hungry I guess I just have mental cravings.
I tell myself I can eat when I lose enough weight when I know it's never enough and it's really not about a number. I feel like if the world loved me more for being fat id just stay fat but the world doesn't work that way. It's a shallow cesspool of terrible people and not eating is the control I want.
My life is fucked.
If I died I wouldn't be that made I don't see value in my life or my future.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Figured out her secret!!
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sat Jul 29 20:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qf3jk/figured_out_her_secret/
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So there's this girl I see at crunch (gym) pretty much every time I go. She's basically my real life thinspo. She lifts tiny weights so her arms are toned but small, and has such tiny legs. I actually asked her how she keeps her legs so slim and she said it was from walking at an incline on the treadmill! I did that today and felt all my problem areas of my legs literally burning. Catch me at the gym on a 7% incline!!!!!!!
[Other] Add me on Peach!!!
/u/emma92900 [6'0 | 160 lbs | 21.7 | GW: 140 lbs| F16]
Created: Sat Jul 29 20:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qf2iz/add_me_on_peach/
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I just created one after seeing a lot of other people posting their usernames on here. My username is Emmmaaa if you want to add me! :) ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Picture nightmare
/u/crazycatlady01
Created: Sat Jul 29 20:39:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qf1tf/picture_nightmare/
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My boyfriend's mom took a picture of us (me and him) and sent it out to his entire family. I look like a FUCKING HUGE WHALE. I'm technically smack dab in the middle of my BMI at 21.0, so I'm nowhere near tiny, but I'm not overweight. I don't feel like I'd care so much if his family wasn't sensitive about weight. My worst nightmare is them gossiping or approaching me about this. I apologize if this is annoying. Thank you for this safe space.
[Rant/Rave] It's ok
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 19:33:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qet99/its_ok/
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https://i.redd.it/tpwcusrdvmcz.jpg
[Other] Add me on Peach!!! 🍑
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 19:32:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qet2t/add_me_on_peach/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Limes are life?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Sat Jul 29 19:25:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qerwd/limes_are_life/
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In honor of not having any lemons in my house but for some reason having a bottle of lime juice, I made some lime water and googled if it had any benefits and man! It does.
Not a dr or scientist so take this all with a grain of salt. Limes are great for:
* magnesium
* potassium
* vitamins A, B, C, & D
* calcium
* antioxidants
Also if you google it it'll tell you it's a miracle drink that'll clear your skin, make you poop, melt fat right off your body, etc. I just like to think it's a nice alternative to plain water with some little bonus vitamins and minerals. To each their own haha
[Other] Wrote a short blurb for a writing contest that I think you guys may enjoy reading.
/u/digitalbodyofwater [5'5" | 120 | 20 | -20.6 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 19:24:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qerqz/wrote_a_short_blurb_for_a_writing_contest_that_i/
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So I wrote [this](https://www.wattpad.com/448252340-how-i-overcame-negativity) for a [writing contest](https://www.wattpad.com/443527979-netflix-mindovermattercontest) on Wattpad (they have them all the time, but I was in the mood to write something so did this one lol).
Basically the contest is to promote a Netflix show about a woman who had an ED and the internal struggles it brings. The topic is about how you "conquered your internal monologue and overcame negativity."
A lot of what I say is much easier said than done, but I try my best to convey this point: it's not the obstacle/negativity itself that's the problem, but how you accept and process it. I also mention a book I read called "The Obstacle is the Way" which is much better at explaining this than I am lol.
Also, I'm not trying to promote this show or pressure anyone into seeking treatment. Also sorry in advance if I make any assumptions that are wrong. It's mostly based on my own experience & opinions, and thought you guys might think it's a fun read.
[Humor] Purge fail
/u/pumpkin_boots [Height: 163cm | CW: 70kg | GW: 48kg | BMI: 26.63 | Age: 22F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 19:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qeohz/purge_fail/
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I'm on vacation with my SO and his family and I promised myself when I get home I will go back to heavy districting but they love to drink and eat and I've done nothing but go out for food and get drunk on champagne for 3 days now. 😓😓😓
So we were at a fancy Indian restaurant last night and I served myself a fairly small serving of rice and dhal and ate that and then I started to feel REALLY full and sick so I went to the bathroom to try and purge ... Ive never purged before but it actually felt surprisingly good. Except after I finished I sniffed since my nose was all blocked and all this Rice came up 😩😩😩😩 so I had to blow my nose to get all the rice out lol
3 more days.
Went shopping today. Felt okay when I took this picture, but now that I look at it I looked like a whale, can't wait to get down to 100 pounds.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 19:04:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qeo9o/went_shopping_today_felt_okay_when_i_took_this/
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https://i.redd.it/ir5az4q7qmcz.jpg
Went shopping today, I felt okay when I took this picture, but looking back I look like a whale. Can't wait to get down to 100 pounds.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 19:02:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qenrw/went_shopping_today_i_felt_okay_when_i_took_this/
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https://i.redd.it/pf58guhopmcz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to get this right
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sat Jul 29 18:35:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qeixm/im_going_to_get_this_right/
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This week was shit. I either binged all day or did super well and felt very thin and then binged and ruined it again. But my sister and I are holding each other accountable to a reset week of sorts- one week of logging our food with no cheating.
She's skinny as fuck and doesn't know anything about my ED, just that I wanna lose vanity weight. I don't know why she is trying to diet for the 1000 time but hopefully she holds up her promise to make me stick to this. I am also starting work at a coffee shop and am so excited to be able to just drink coffee and Splenda on my break instead of worrying about packing food or whatever. I'm hoping working will help structure my day so I don't fucking binge.
I hope I can do this and not fuck everything up.
[Rant/Rave] I'm such a moron for thinking this day could go well
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sat Jul 29 18:26:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qehgw/im_such_a_moron_for_thinking_this_day_could_go/
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So my dad threw a small party in our backyard. I knew about this & I legitimately convinced myself I could keep under 1000 and that if I couldn't do that then I'd stay under 1700. And I made it my priority today to stay hydrated from yesterday's purge.
So I ate nothing until 6:30 when I ate a sandwich and another and another and pulled pork and cookies and cake, etc... I feel so sick and embarrassed because I feel like people kept seeing me go for more and more food.
Now I'm going to purge later tonight and I'm so mad about it because I try not to purge 2 days in a row, but today will make 3.
[Discussion] DAE freak out internally when posting a pic of themselves on social media?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sat Jul 29 18:06:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qedkd/dae_freak_out_internally_when_posting_a_pic_of/
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I have felt confident af lately so I posted a pic of me and my mom on Instagram (I was in a bikini) cause we went out in the sailboat today and I was like hey this pic is hot why don't I post it!
And now I can't stop thinking "oh my God NVM I look fat but I can't delete it now"
[Other] Another Peach post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 17:19:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qe59q/another_peach_post/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Apps and calculators that don't bully you for being "unhealthy"
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 29 17:16:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qe4tt/apps_and_calculators_that_dont_bully_you_for/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or help
I tend to use lose it to track my calories and use rounded down exercise calories from at the gym or walking from Samsung healthy or Google fit.
I used to use my fitness pal but I know that app tends to ban people or not let you record less than 1200. Lose it has been giving me warnings too because I set my calorie intake down to 500 and and trying to keep a high negative deficit.
What apps do you use also are their other weightloss calculators like losertown that will actually tell you home much you are projected to lose within a time frame.
I hope this post isn't breaking the rules I am not asking how to ED I am disordered and am just trying to manage and knowing all my numbers gives me some peace.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] The struggle of working fast food
/u/nerdnotmonster
Created: Sat Jul 29 16:36:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdx8j/the_struggle_of_working_fast_food/
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So I work at a local McDonald's, and have gained FIFTEEN POUNDS in the five months I've been working there. I'm legitimately disgusted with myself... I've become over weight for the first time in my life. There's fatty food all over the damn place, lots of unclaimed high calorie drinks which others will give to me, the air smells like grease, and worst of all: picking my meal for break is a nightmare. If I take too long the manger in charge of documenting my meal gets ticked, everyone can see what I'm ordering, people can walk by the break room and see me eat, my friends freak if I order no food, not to mention the lack of low-cal options. I also tend to binge hardcore on my break because of the stressful environment. It's so hard. Any advice at all is welcome, I'm desperate for tips and guidance :(
[Rant/Rave] This is the absolute worse...
/u/Fuzzypanda67 [5'8" | 142 | 20.97 | 0 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 16:34:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdwu4/this_is_the_absolute_worse/
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On mobile so I can't flair but this would definitely be a rant/rave
Over the past couple of months or so I've lost about 20lb overall. Lots of restricting and low cal meals, the usual method. You'd think I'd be happy with all my hard work paying off except I've lost weight in all the areas I didn't need to lose weight! My boobs have gone down at least a cup size and even my fingers have gotten smaller! Today I was shopping for rings and when I went to go put on my usual size 6 I found that it was huge. My fingers are now tiny and I'm a size 4. Basically no one makes rings in size 4! Ughhhh. It's so frustrating. Like why can't my pant size go down that much? Or my dress size? And why the heck have I lost weight in my fingers of all things?!
I know we can't control where we lose fat but it would be so nice if we could. Now I've got a small chest, small fingers, and fat everywhere else. I look bigger now than I did before developing an ed simply because my proportions are now hella off.
[Humor] Still doing grocery hauls? 😂
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 16:16:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdtke/still_doing_grocery_hauls/
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https://i.redd.it/p54bv8v3wlcz.jpg
[Tip] Getting your RDA of vits and minerals and fats for 818 cals
/u/iceboxxxxx [5'5.75" | CW: 129 | GW: 113 | 20.9]
Created: Sat Jul 29 15:56:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdptr/getting_your_rda_of_vits_and_minerals_and_fats/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Worst day of my life so far, torn between binging and restricting even more
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 15:45:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdnpt/worst_day_of_my_life_so_far_torn_between_binging/
---
[deleted]
[Help] |Advice| Help me 'spend' 400 calories?
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Sat Jul 29 15:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdjh7/advice_help_me_spend_400_calories/
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I have 400 calories left unplanned for the day to reach my weekly intake goal and I'm really tired of obsessing over what to do with them. I'd prefer something low carb/high protein since my day plan already includes a carb laden dinner but any suggestions would be super helpful. I'm scared that I'm going to fall asleep and then it'll be too late to fill the gap :/ I really want to crush this goal.
Thanks in advance!
[Rant/Rave] Fuck it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 15:14:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdhnx/fuck_it/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 15:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdgxi/binge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Artist Cassie Meder (Casstronaut) opens up about her ED history
/u/selkieb [5'3 | 114. 2 | 21 BMI | LW 80 | GW 110 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 15:09:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdgnl/artist_cassie_meder_casstronaut_opens_up_about/
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http://casstronaut.blogspot.com/2017/07/self-destruct.html?m=1
[Discussion] Other appetite suppressants?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | -41 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 15:00:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdewe/other_appetite_suppressants/
---
Hi lovelies!
I was wondering what other appetite suppressants you guys use. I know EC stack is very popular, but I live in Europe and it's near impossible to get Bronkaid. I have a friend that sometimes mails me some, but I can't go though my stash too quickly because shipping is expensive. Every other thread is mostly focused on EC stack.
Also looking for other suggestions than coffee/tea/diet coke.
[Humor] Merry Christmas!
/u/stealthmode_activate [5'1 | 133.6 | 25.24/26.36 | -102.2 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 14:42:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdb4q/merry_christmas/
---
Avoided a financial-stress-related impulse binge food purchase (because yes spending money on marked-down binge food while struggling financially makes TOTAL sense) by... having my mother buy it as a stocking stuffer for Christmas.
Future me is gonna look like Santa come December 26th hohoyolo 🎅🏻
[Rant/Rave] unhealthy motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 14:39:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qdamx/unhealthy_motivation/
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[deleted]
Fucked up motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 14:35:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qd9u8/fucked_up_motivation/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] Intro
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 14:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qd6pt/intro/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Long, rambly post, sorry.
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 14:19:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qd6kr/long_rambly_post_sorry/
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Longish post ahead: So basically I just had another therapy appointment and had some "lightbulb" moments... The main one is I discovered that the "voice" of my ED is my mother. I didn't realize it until I was at my sister's baby shower and decided to let myself enjoy a cupcake.. I was feeling okay about it, surprisingly no guilt.
...until later in the car when my mom said "Yeah.. I saw you eat that." And in the middle of my therapy session I realized that the tone my mom used is the same as the mean voice I hear that tells me how worthless I am, how if I'm not in perfect shape physically I'm not valuable. I knew I had a difficult relationship with my mom, but I didn't know that deep down it was causing a bunch of issues.
One thing my therapist said that really stuck with me is when she asked "When you were little, who told you that you were good enough?" And I kind of sat there and teared up. She said "It's not too late to find that little girl and tell her."
I have a lot of crap to work on. And I love you guys. This sub has been so so helpful to me. But I'm going to try to take a break from here and see if I can heal. I can't put into words how much you guys have been a blessing to me. Stay strong, lovelies. ❤ xoxo
[Help] How am I going to handle college?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 115 | 20.4 | -12 | F |]
Created: Sat Jul 29 14:09:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qd4n3/how_am_i_going_to_handle_college/
---
I'm obsessed with measuring everything I eat to the gram and over exercising. I can't eat anything without purging or having an anxiety attack unless I know EXACTLY what is in it and how much I'm eating. I definitely can't eat in the cafeteria and I struggle with restaurants. I don't want to draw attention to myself or to have my roommate or anyone else find out about my ED. I'm also in a program where we have to eat a meal together and have a meeting once a week. Idk what I'm going to do someone give advice please. I'm hoping that once I get to my UGW and start eating more to maintain that I can handle it. Everyone in my family and my friends think I'm "recovering" because I don't purge anymore; I don't want to let anyone down, but I have to get to my goal weight to feel okay again.😞Measuring and working out has helped me cut my purging habits and lose weight, and I'm addicted to the restricting high I get and I feel like I'm finally reaching my goals because purging never made me lose anything. But I don't want to draw attention to myself or be "that girl who never eats" or to be questioned about my eating habits.
[Rant/Rave] Getting reaaaaal tired of BDD
/u/pcrnography [it's just water weight]
Created: Sat Jul 29 13:57:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qd24m/getting_reaaaaal_tired_of_bdd/
---
I weighed myself for the first time in a long time this morning and turns out I've been overestimating my weight by 15 pounds. Sometimes I see my thigh or a picture of myself and I'm surprised at how small I am. Can I PLEASE just have semi consistant self image, I'm sick of this back and forth am-i-fat-shit-i-look-so-thin thing.
[Rant/Rave] Halo Top needs to come out with a bread as good as their ice cream.
/u/cramthatgram [6'1 | 150 | 18.9]
Created: Sat Jul 29 13:42:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qcz9a/halo_top_needs_to_come_out_with_a_bread_as_good/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qcz9a/halo_top_needs_to_come_out_with_a_bread_as_good/
[Discussion] Other subreddits.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Jul 29 13:40:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qcytj/other_subreddits/
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What are some of the other subreddits you guys follow?
[Rant/Rave] "Stop starving yourself"
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Sat Jul 29 13:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qcx0h/stop_starving_yourself/
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K, thanks.
[Discussion] Is anyone here an alcoholic?
/u/rsrs23
Created: Sat Jul 29 12:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qcgzs/is_anyone_here_an_alcoholic/
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Does anyone have alcohol problems along with an eating disorder? How does alcohol affect your eating habits? Do you count your alcohol calories? When I drink I find it easier to restrict. Just curious to hear other people's take on it.
[Intro] ~Lurker Intro~
/u/fvck13r [5'10 | 125 | 17.9/17.5 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 11:57:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qcdzs/lurker_intro/
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Hey! I've lurked/occasionally commented for a few months now, and figured I should properly introduce myself! (Also help!! On mobile and not sure how to flair??)
I'm 19, been disordered since I was like 14 (been all over the place, started as more Ana, eventually transitioned into full blown Bulimia Nervosa according to my doc) but am finally on a path to somewhat recovery!
I recently visited a psychiatrist and got a script for vyvanse which has been helping a lot with the b/p thing, but has kinda thrown me into restriction a bit.
Kinda in this schrodinger's recovery mode now lol like i barely have an appetite so i've been avoiding binging but I also never eat now so yikes but also eyy weight loss
Anyway, I wanted to say hi so i feel less weird about commenting and stuff!! You guys are great, and honestly as someone who tried to find a community on mpa and stuff it's amazing to find somewhere which isn't toxic as hell and is actually supportive and nice <3
[Help] Binged for the first time in a while :(
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 11:34:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qc97d/binged_for_the_first_time_in_a_while/
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So my bf is visiting, and he was craving some shitty food, and I had agreed to a "cheat meal," an we end up at the golden arches. Of course I can't just have one burger or a 6 piece, I have to slam 20 mcnuggets and fries, which is not the worst binge, but still made me feel like shit. I ended the day at around 1500 calories (I was at 300 before ;-;). I know its still under my maintenance, but I have a bbq to go to today and I know it's all gonna go to shit today too.
[Rant/Rave] so r/all is a lot right now
/u/negative_delta [5'9.5" | CW 143.2 | 20.4 | GW 130 | 20F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 11:07:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qc3ni/so_rall_is_a_lot_right_now/
---
EDIT: on mobile, flair rant/rave
The third post on my front page is a girl who's in the process of recovering from pretty severe anorexia and I'm really proud and happy for her
but also reading the comments is notttt a good place for me personally. So much ignorance and "get that girl a burger" and "why don't they just eat". Also people who don't understand anything about the weight of women, like this dude who claims his skinny but not obviously unhealthy female friend is "6 ft tall and under 100 lbs"??? And that combined with the pervasive feeling of "you don't have an eating disorder bc your BMI is healthy" is just making me feel super weird right now.
Anyways. Not what I was expecting to see this morning.
[Intro] Hi!!!
/u/Hannah-Girl
Created: Sat Jul 29 11:04:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qc34c/hi/
---
Hi! I made a throwaway account for this sub, and I can't wait to be back!
[Discussion] Trader Joe's suggestions
/u/evwagen [5'7 | 128 | 20.5 | 32 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 10:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qc0sk/trader_joes_suggestions/
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It's about a 45 minute drive but I really want the low cal chicken wantons and meijer is not pulling through 🙃 since I don't want to just walk out with five bags of wantons, what else do you all suggest in terms of low cal options I wouldn't get many other places? (Not things like fruit/veg but more specialty products)
[Rant/Rave] I'm waiting on news that will be life changing and I can't stop stress eating.
/u/deadlikeisaac
Created: Sat Jul 29 10:12:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbs8b/im_waiting_on_news_that_will_be_life_changing_and/
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Please flair as rant.
Until I know for sure, nothing else matters but of course it's fucking up my goals for August. I'm waiting on a background check (which logically, there's absolutely no reason I shouldn't pass it, but anxiety) and it's for basically my dream job. I won't have to deal with customers directly or the general public at all. After years in retail and call centers giving me crippling anxiety, it really will be a dream come true. I only have one person I can talk to, but not about the eating part. I'm keeping it (the potential job AND eating) a secret from my roommates and my two employers. I just got promoted at one of the jobs because the manager had a "gut feeling" I was gonna do great, so I feel like I'm shitting on her if I do leave for this new job. But I've also gotta look out for myself. I'm hoping I can restrict more easily again once I know for sure what's happening. Ugh. Thanks for letting me go on a soapbox rant.
[Discussion] Sugar Substitutes?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Sat Jul 29 10:03:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbqdn/sugar_substitutes/
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Does anyone use fake sugars? I can't stand most of them because they have a horrible bitter aftertaste but if I could find one that doesn't make me want to die I'd be all for it.
Sorry for two discussions so close together!
[Help] Binged.
/u/elliebearrrr [5'5.5" | SW:175lbs CW:158lbs GW1:154lbs | 25.9 | -17lbs | F21]
Created: Sat Jul 29 09:25:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbiu4/binged/
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I just binged. Ffs. Ate just up to maintenance and it's only 4:30pm. Help :(
UPDATE: I fucking ate MORE FOOD. Like a lot more. I'm so angry, I thought I'd finally beat the binge part of my ED but noooo I'm still as much of a bloody failure. I've never tried so hard to purge before and I still just can't do it. Gonna pop a laxative when I get home and cry myself to sleep. Fuck fuck fuck my life, I feel like I've lost control and I'm gonna put the 20lbs I've lost recently back on and be a fucking fat lard forever
I don't deserve to live
Sorry I didn't listen to your guys' advice, I suck :(
Binged
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 09:24:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbila/binged/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Probiotics
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Sat Jul 29 09:04:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbev7/probiotics/
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Anyone use probiotics to poop? Laxatives scare me. And it seems like everytime I have probiotics before I sleep I wake up and poop!
I usually either drink jelley browns (yakults basically) or I have lactobacillus pills that I'll take.
[Help] I've dug a hole for myself and would really appreciate some advice
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 09:01:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbe4i/ive_dug_a_hole_for_myself_and_would_really/
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("Help" flair, please <3)
I'll try to keep this short, but I'll add a TLDR at the end of this little backstory: I'm 16 years old. I've had disordered eating since the end of last summer, but I only started identifying my symptoms with anorexia around Febuary or March of this year. Not long, I know, and that fact had me convinced I hadn't lost any weight.
On May 3, I asked for help and entered recovery. The thing is, I didn't realize that I would need to gain weight. I thought I looked healthy, chubby even; I had BDD without knowing it. If I'd known that my recovery would entail weight gain, I would have stayed silent.
I tried so hard to embrace recovery. I really did. I looked everywhere for reasons to fight. I asked my mom, my therapist, my dietician, but the all they said was "you have to eat". I had no control over anything and it was driving me insane. A few weeks ago, I snapped. Full-on relapse; hiding as much food as I can get away with, running up and down the stairs hundreds of times while nobody's watching, and most importantly, manipulating the people around me into thinking I'm fully embracing recovery.
**TL;DR: I entered recovery but now I've relapsed, and no one suspects a thing.**
So here's where I need help. I'm always weighed at my weekly dietician appointment, and I don't know how to hide my inevitable weight loss. I've never really known my weight, so any waterloading/ankle weights/other methods of fooling them would be shots in the dark.
I really hope this doesn't break any rules. If it helps, I know that I'm harming myself. I know I should stop. I know I shouldn't go against the professionals telling me to eat. I made the conscious decision not to fight the relapse because I could see myself going insane/potentially attempting suicide otherwise.
I really need help and I don't know where else to turn. I have nowhere to go. I feel all alone. I'm lost. I really need advice. Thanks.
[Thinspo] Which would you rather be?
/u/fishareterrible [5'7 | 112.6 | 17.6 | f]
Created: Sat Jul 29 08:55:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbd1o/which_would_you_rather_be/
---
https://imgur.com/w9DZdIk
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Sat Jul 29 08:52:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbcjm/ugh/
---
Binge, purge, smoke, workout, try to avoid it again with coffee.
[Rant/Rave] Dreamt about recovery last night.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 08:51:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbcgd/dreamt_about_recovery_last_night/
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I had a dream that my mom took me to a massive inpatient treatment center--like a 14-story hospital just for EDs--and everyone who saw me kept asking me if I was ready to stay there and recover. And I kept telling people I wanted to but I couldn't.
I am 1000% not ready for inpatient and I feel personally attacked by my subconscious right now.
[Intro] tfw I weigh 135 and look like I did when I was 125, tf?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 08:51:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qbceo/tfw_i_weigh_135_and_look_like_i_did_when_i_was/
---
https://imgur.com/WIzMEzG
[Rant/Rave] 'What size are you now, a 10 or a 12?'
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 08:29:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qb8iu/what_size_are_you_now_a_10_or_a_12/
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[deleted]
[Humor] When even your weather app knows whats up...
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Sat Jul 29 07:40:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qb089/when_even_your_weather_app_knows_whats_up/
---
https://i.redd.it/mzwyzqe1cjcz.png
[Humor] wow, thanks for telling me. I hadn't thought of that!
/u/praduh [5'5" * 🍽⚖️ * lw: 90 * f 🥀🍰 * peach: praaduh]
Created: Sat Jul 29 07:26:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qay3l/wow_thanks_for_telling_me_i_hadnt_thought_of_that/
---
https://i.redd.it/fvk8amcw8jcz.jpg
[Humor] BDD perks
/u/FuckItFoodFree [5'3 | 96.5lbs/43.8kg | 16.9 (s) | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 06:23:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qaoxq/bdd_perks/
---
Healthy BMI thinspo stays inspirational even when you're much smaller, don't ever have to bother looking for bonespo.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! July 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 29 06:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qan93/stupid_questions_saturday_july_29_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for July 29, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! July 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 29 06:10:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qan5d/daily_food_diary_july_29_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 29, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Humor] Who would win?
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 05:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qaksj/who_would_win/
---
A strong, heart-felt commitment to restrict under 700 calories
or
one doughnut
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 7.29
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Sat Jul 29 05:29:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qahiv/thinspiration_729/
---
http://imgur.com/a/JwNjD
[Rant/Rave] Shop assistant was insisting on a larger size than I am
/u/Rolly_Polly_ [Height 172 | CW 68 | GW 55 | BMI 22.99 | 30F]
Created: Sat Jul 29 03:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qa5tt/shop_assistant_was_insisting_on_a_larger_size/
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I have this small shop in our city which has the most amazing dresses ever. They do their own fabric dying and they are absolutely amazing. They are a bit expensive, but so worth every cent.
I am a European size 38 and was grabbing a couple of the dresses from the racks when the shop assistant came to me and just straight on went: "38 is going to be too small for you. Take the 40"
Now, I know sizes can vary in different shops, but I already own some of their things and always am 38, which I told her straight away.
Her answer was "I don't know, 40 would definitely fit you better. Just let me know if you need those"
So obviously I put on the 38s and they looked amazing. Almost wanted to ask for a 36 just to be spiteful. Came out of the try out room and was twirling in front of the large mirror just to show them off. And she had to stand there and comment on how beautiful they looked on me.
It might be a petty victory, but I win this round. I know what size I am and have two gorgeous dresses now.
So I just fainted...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 03:32:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6qa3wj/so_i_just_fainted/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Self hate
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Sat Jul 29 00:54:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q9m2a/self_hate/
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I fucking hate myself so much. I'm always fucking everything up. I can't stand the fact that I ate so much today, but all I can think about is eating. I'm a worthless piece of shit who can't even establish any self control.
[Discussion] Anybody have strange purging habits?
/u/PmMeNiceGenitals
Created: Sat Jul 29 00:52:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q9lqh/anybody_have_strange_purging_habits/
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Me personally, I can't throw up in the toilet. It grosses me out, so instead I throw up in a bowl and pour it in the skin😶 Sorry if TMI. I also need to have ambient noise other than running water like a YouTube video or something
[Rant/Rave] The strangest feeling ever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 29 00:19:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q9his/the_strangest_feeling_ever/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] When you sister finishes all your food behind your back
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Sat Jul 29 00:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q9gl7/when_you_sister_finishes_all_your_food_behind/
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Im actually happy and relieved. Now I don't have to have self control :)
[Rant/Rave] Overdose etc
/u/LSEJ [175cm | GW: 60kg | 26F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 23:48:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q9d8c/overdose_etc/
---
This isn't really the community for this perhaps but maybe some of you have seen that I haven't been feeling well lately and this is the only place where I speak freely about my life atm so here goes
Fasting yesterday went well until I ate a little hummus and bread, decided to not care about 200-ish calories and just start drinking instead. So I avoided a binge (yay).
Unfortunately one thing led to another and I took all the pills in the house, chased it with wine and hoped for the worst. Silly really when my plan the last 5 years have been to hang myself :/
So yeah I'm currently in the hospital, my boyfriend rushed me here last night, poor thing.
I think I'm gonna keep my suicide attempt a secret from my friends and grandma for now at least :/
Thank you so much for reading ✨
[Discussion] How did you fuck up today?
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 23:06:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q96qb/how_did_you_fuck_up_today/
---
I wish it was only today. My fiance keeps making and bringing me food. He brought me maccas nuggets yesterday. Nuggets guys. How do I turn down nuggets?
He also made me pasta. pppaaasssstttaaaaaaa. I'm trying to ration it out to 300 calories...but it's still pasta. I fucking love pasta. With chilli flakes. Omg.
Today we got gelato. Gelato came with a secret brownie. SURPRISE! YOU'RE A FATTY!
I'm trying to stay under 700 calories.
fml 🙁
[Rant/Rave] When you can't stop snacking..
/u/sd_tendencies
Created: Fri Jul 28 23:01:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q9620/when_you_cant_stop_snacking/
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Sometimes I have a bunch of self control and keep myself under around 1000 calories but then right after, I have two or three days where I just want to eat EVERYTHING (and because a lot of my snacks are 100 calories/serving, I justify it and say oh it's fine to eat... and then I eat like six servings smh).
But going on a (hopefully) 24ish hour water fast tomorrow because I've honestly been just eating way too much in the past few days omg~~~
[Rant/Rave] Nothing's happening 😭
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 22:51:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q94ib/nothings_happening/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else dealing with this on their own?
/u/ggreatgoat
Created: Fri Jul 28 22:49:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q944u/anyone_else_dealing_with_this_on_their_own/
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I can't bring myself to speak to anyone about my eating disorder, and it gets difficult not being able to vent.
[Help] I don't know what to do.
/u/FattyTeen12
Created: Fri Jul 28 22:19:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8zcx/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
---
Warning this is long, but if you have the time to read it I would really appreciate it.☺️ Hey!! First time poster, long time lurker. I am a lot younger than most of you guys(13), and before you guys say I shouldn't be on here, and I shouldn't take advice from internet strangers, I just want to clarify I am at my wits end. I have been to a doctor, psychologist, and nutritionist. I am a female 4'10 and 89-90 pounds from 130 pounds. I went from severely over weight to borderline under weight. And I am losing my mind. In January I decided it would be time to lose weight. I lost 8 pounds in a week just eating below 1000 calories a day. It became almost a game. Say I would eat 650 calories one day. The day after that I would try to be below that. I soon lost 30 pounds in one month.
Before I lost weight, I was the "cute chubby friend" I could make anyone laugh, and I was part of a tight nit friend circle. It all ended when I was joking around with my friends. My friend group is very diverse. You have friends who were stick think to obese and everything in the middle. My obese friends stuck her finger into the stomach of my best friend ( who is naturally very skinny) then stuck her finger in mine. "Look how much farther my finger goes into FattyTeen12s stomach then it does superawesomegirls stomach! Everyone just laughed at that and I tried to play it cool. Then after lunch we went to art. My art teacher is a very beautiful older lady. I had forgotten to eat lunch because I was helping a fellow student out with something, so I asked my art teacher if I could eat lunch during art. I was eating grilled chicken with ketchup and an orange, and the entire time I was eating, she just kept looking at me. When I was finished, she said " do you know how much sugar is in ketchup and in that orange? God, no wonder your so big!" I was in shock. I went home from school that day and looked at myself and decided to lose weight.
It just became an obsession. It got to the point where I would eat 100 calories than fast 6 days. My mom got so sick of it. She threatened me with inpatient care and leaving all of my friends if I didn't start eating 500 calories a day. My grandparents who were there at the time, just asked why she was forcing it when I was looking so good. I love my grandparents, but they are a huge trigger for anxiety and starving myself. My mom, ever the pusher, made me do it. I started going to a nutritionist. I got.... better. I was happier. I slowly increased my calories, and by April I was back to normal eating habits. I still count calories, and I always will. It is my form of control . I even lost 5 pounds after that!
My friends made the entire recovery about themselves. One of my good friends threatened to kill themselves, and another said they would get everyone to leave me if I did not eat 1700 calories a day ( for a 4'10 girl???🙃) they told my entire school about it, and every time I eat something they make a joke. And they WONT STOP MENTIONING HOW SKINNY I AM! I am not skinny, and never will be, and honestly it's making me a mess. They don't understand how it's not about I don't care about them. I was terrified of food and still am.
Anyway, moving onto this summer. I went to summer camp, and I was finally me! I was happy, and even made new friends! I was confident and out going. It was the third year I had gone, and people actually noticed me! Then I got back home. I found out my great grandmother was sick. My best friend came from Utah, and made my life miserable. Every thing was going great- and then the begining of July happened.
Now, I can't even look into a mirror without wanting to cry. I see a fat girl, and I feel like I want to lose more weight, even if in reality I don't need to. I feel so out of the picture right now. I don't want to eat. I want to be alone. I hate myself right now. If anyone can tell me some reasons not lose weight, or tell me their recovery story, or even send dog pictures ( dogs really cheer me up lol) I would really appreciate it. I feel like I should be normal at this age, but all I think about are food and calories. Any help would be appreciated, as I don't know what to do now.
Summary- I am slipping back into my eating disorder after a rough summer, and I need some help convincing me not to do it.
[Rant/Rave] month long binge
/u/partofmeapartfromme
Created: Fri Jul 28 21:55:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8vl6/month_long_binge/
---
i actually hate myself so much omfg. so i was staying with my brother all this month and i ended up binging every day. it started when he was binging too, just eating everything until he was in pain. for some reason this told my brain that it was ok for me to do it too! but that started a cycle that lasted all 4 weeks. i purged sometimes but definitely not enough. i'm sure i gained at least 10 pounds and i'm terrified to step on the scale. i'm back home where i have more control over my food so i'm gonna go back to my old restricting habits. the thing is i don't want anybody to see me. my best friend is coming back to town (she was gone for the summer) and i know she'll notice that i gained weight. i don't want someone from school to see me and have them think "wow, she really let herself go." i want to lose as much weight as possible until i have to see people again and i've decided i'm not gonna weigh myself until im under 1000 calories for 2 weeks because i'm that terrified. idk where i was going with this i just needed to vent lol
[Intro] I have spent a while viewing this sub and really want (need) this community in my life. Here is my story, the short version. Nobody in my life can understand my struggles, I hope you can accept me.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 108 | HW 142| GW 95]
Created: Fri Jul 28 21:49:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8umg/i_have_spent_a_while_viewing_this_sub_and_really/
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New account to spend my time here...
It all began when I started to have a mental breakdown 5 years ago. Ive always had OCD tendencies and extreme worries which developed into personality shifts I could not define. The pain felt like a demon inside of me, what had I become. Bi-polar became my diagnosis and from one monster another formed. My Eating Disorder.
I was in my first year of teaching and the stress of the job made me gain weight. Eating became my comfort. I had always been slim with weight fluctuations but that never bothered me before, I just went with the flow. That year my pants became too small, my arms became huge, and I felt uncomfortable in my own skin both mentally and physically. I went to the doctor for a cold and the scale read 142, I was shocked as I had never seen anything over 130. Still I was hopeful, I would go to the gym, I would become fit.
Next came the comment that sent me into this spiraling mess that is my life. One of my students was talking about her dislike for skinny people. She said my body type was perfect because I was slim but not skinny, I went home and cried. I had been skinny my whole life and now all I was, was a fat mess. I went to the gym but nothing happened, it was then I found MFP and began to study calories. This became my life. For the past 5 years its been an endless cycle of restrict, binge, purge, repeat. My lowest weight was 98 lbs and I felt perfect. Then came the holidays and my weight went back up, never above 105. I left the scale for a while and tried to be "normal" but I no longer no what that is. Its all or nothing.
The high from restricting and the high from binging are the same. Purging is my release, but it is not a fix and I feel myself gaining. I went on a vacation in June and decided I would enjoy myself and not count. It was easy until it turned into a month long binge and purge. I need to get back control, I am lost, disgusted, and horrified.
Two years ago I was ready to seek treatment. After being turned away from Renfrew (my only option was inpatient or nothing) I decided to try another program. While weighing in at 100lbs they said I was okay and not a risk and could do a night program. I was not good enough to be considered ill. I don't know why but I felt horrible and left in tears. I was still fat. I was pretty much told my disorder was not real. On the way home I was so upset I could not function. I had a panic attack and wound up totaling my car, which lead to my financial mess and a ton of debt.
After that I found a wonderful therapist for my bi-polar. She helped me so much but let me go because my weight was a liability. I was so hurt and abandoned. Her an her supervisor had and intervention and said I needed an ED program. I felt fine. They made it so I couldn't even do a day program for bi-polar support and HAD to do an ed program which I was not ready for at the time.
My friends and boyfriend have supported me, but are at a loss and can not understand. That is why I am here. This is the only community I have found that seems to care for one another and understand my mind.
I want to see my bones, be light, be perfect and lose now. I know this is not rational thinking but it consumes me. People used to notice my weight dropping, but now its considered the norm.I've hit a never ending plateau. I am a failure to myself. I hate myself. I need to be thinner. Without it, my identity is gone.
[Rant/Rave] Binged so hard today 🙃
/u/evil_pancakee
Created: Fri Jul 28 21:47:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8uco/binged_so_hard_today/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8uco/binged_so_hard_today/
[Rant/Rave] The freaking scale is broken?!?!?!?
/u/greensquarequilt [5'1.5 | 81.4lbs | 15.74 | 22 F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 21:45:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8u1m/the_freaking_scale_is_broken/
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I don't have a scale in my apartment because I am too paranoid / obsessive / scared to have one, but I am visiting my parents this weekend (who just happen to have a GREAT digital scale!!!!).
So I waited a whole month since I last visited them and weighed myself to weigh myself again, and THE FREAKING SCALE IS BROKEN. Like the glass is broken, so it's in the trash!!!!!! Why!!!! This is stupid!!!
I waited a whole freaking month for this, goddammit 🙃🙃🙃
The freaking scale is broken?!?!?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 21:44:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8ttz/the_freaking_scale_is_broken/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Attention Aussie PROEDers: WOOLWORTHS HALOTOP!!!
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 21:18:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8prb/attention_aussie_proeders_woolworths_halotop/
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Wow... I just found HaloTop at Woolworths. I bought it this morning for $10AUD...they had 4 flavours, vanilla, chocolate, birthday cake and mint chocolate chip. I went for mint chocolate chip... drove 15 minutes to get home and then binged on the whole pint. It had softened and was creamy deliciousness. I don't even feel terrible for eating the whole lot!
I sold the idea to my husband by telling him I'm trying to up my protein intake (we are both vegetarian!)
WOOLWORTHS STOCKS HALOTOP y'all!!!
T.A.D. 🖤🖤🖤
[Humor] i feel like a science experiment
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 21:04:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8nin/i_feel_like_a_science_experiment/
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[deleted]
[Help] How to deal with physical weakness?
/u/nycthrowaway51
Created: Fri Jul 28 20:54:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8lyx/how_to_deal_with_physical_weakness/
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Hi everyone, how do you guys deal with any shaky/weak feelings you get from restricting? Right now I'm feeling it and it's honestly getting a little uncomfortable.
[Discussion] Anything like bronkaid but less severe?
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Fri Jul 28 20:41:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8jtk/anything_like_bronkaid_but_less_severe/
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I need something for my appetite but don't want to have panic attacks either. I'm not sure if bronkaid is too strong.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] This is such a selfish illness
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | nb | sw 190lb 🐳 | cw 129.8lb 🐷 | bmi 23.7 | gw 90lb 💖]
Created: Fri Jul 28 20:21:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8gcb/rant_this_is_such_a_selfish_illness/
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Maybe not for everyone, but it has been for me.
My peach friends already know a bit about this but I need to rant. My family is in crisis and all I can do is restrict and binge and cry and purge and continuously weigh myself and fast and cry more. Stress has amplified my ED and it's terrible because I should be trying to push this bullshit aside to be there for my family but *I CAN'T*. I'm trying and I just can't.
I hate this. I hate how my brain is wired to put my stress into food by either binging or starving. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I put this aside and be normal, even if just for a week, even just a day? I barely succeeded at putting it aside for 15 minutes while I was taking my mom to visit my brother. And as soon as I parked the car I ran to the bathroom to cry. Not just about my brother, but about how fat I was too.
Goddamn it. I just want to be normal for one goddamn day.
[Rant/Rave] My mom is my ultimate trigger
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Fri Jul 28 20:20:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8gag/my_mom_is_my_ultimate_trigger/
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She just called me to say she is completing in a figure competition. For some reason I'm envious because I don't have the money to do this. I just lost 60lbs and feel she is only doing this to one up me.
[Discussion] Purged for the first time.
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 20:08:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8e6l/purged_for_the_first_time/
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I didn't even really binge but just felt the urge to purge. I figured out how to do it and managed to get some of what I ate up. Gulped some water and got some more out.
Then ate a double serving of the food I had prepared for the week then purged it, because why not. Water helps a lot.
Logged the full amount on MFP, not sure how much actually comes up.
[Discussion] Does anyone else not even care how they look?
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 19:55:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q8bza/does_anyone_else_not_even_care_how_they_look/
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I have been everywhere from 100lb to 145 during my adult life, and in my eyes I still always look the same in the mirror. I don't do this to look skinny. I care about that number on the scale going down, tightening my belt another notch, fitting into smaller clothes. Most people see EDs as a little girl or boy who was bullied for being fat and wants to be skinny and beautiful. But I honestly don't care about making myself look good. I just care about that feeling of controlling what I put in my body and seeing that number drop. Or pushing through a run and making it a little farther than last time. Objective measurements that show I am progressing and the hard work I am putting in is paying off. No matter how bad my day went, if I hit my calorie goal and I exercised it is all okay because I have self control. Something most people don't have. I'm sure some of you on here get how I feel
[Rant/Rave] A ramble, a rant, and a question!
/u/forever-lurk [5'7" | HW: too high | WL: -39lbs | GW: 112 lbs | 24 F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 19:43:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q89xg/a_ramble_a_rant_and_a_question/
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I feel so so torn, I haven't been visiting here much just because I've been trying to live life. A lot of my family and friends have birthdays in July/August/September so like food is unavoidable. Which is ok! I've made peace with that. That piece of cake or margarita is not going to make me gain +90lbs, I'm going to be ok.
I've been trying to watch more health/fitness gurus on youtube, so I'm like "Yes Forever-lurk you can lose weight in a healthy way and have a better relationship with food!" I want so badly to have a better relationship with food and my body but at the same time, I'm totally convinced I can live life on 800 cals a day, cigarettes, and iced americanos while going to the gym, working on my feet for 8hrs a day, and starting school again. Lmao but I can't. I know I can't.
And then it's also like... I want a cute body, I'd love to have a nice butt and a tiny waist but on the other hand, I want to be completely flat and unattractive to men. I'm so frustrated with myself.
It doesn't help that I gained 10lbs, freaked out, lost 7 of those lbs, and am now yo-yo-ing up and damn with the same three pounds. Like god please give me the stomach flu again or something. But I instantly feel bad for saying that because it's like no, "be healthy, think healthy thoughts!!" What even are healthy thoughts?
I just want to be normal, and have a normal relationship with food, and like I wish I could look at food without seeing a calorie count. I've actually been thinking about purging again like it's been five years and the urge is still there. The little voice in my head is constantly like "purge purge purge you ate too much purge!"
Anyway, I'll end this with a question.
What are your favorite ways to keep your mind preoccupied that isn't an app? I recently got sucked into a star wars game for my phone but I feel like I'm not stimulating my brain with that. Any favorite books, favorite Hulu/Netflix documentaries, podcasts, or youtube channels you can recommend?
[Intro] it feels good to be back...
/u/mhm646 [5'5" | CW 134 | GW 125 | UGW 118 | -7 | 20F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 19:29:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q87j0/it_feels_good_to_be_back/
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Hey all, lurker and first time poster.
I'm a few days shy of 21, about to start my last year of college, and honestly I literally can't lose weight the "right way".
In high school I was a competitive soccer player - very active, very athletic/muscular and totally fine with it, my body had a job to do and was damn good at it. When I quit playing my junior year, I struggled a lot with being very built and not knowing how to get rid of it. Exercising only made it worse so I just stopped eating. When I went away to college I was wearing kids XL clothes and was so happy with how much I had slimmed out and was honestly into "recovery". In college, anxiety and OCPD have really kicked my ass and I've gained nearly 20 pounds. Being known as the "athletic kid" and then the "skinny kid" and then having that really killed me. I tried to tame my head and lose weight the "right way": 500cal/day deficit, working out, meditation, therapist, blah blah and it just hasn't worked; I've been feeling more helpless than ever. But then this week I just... stopped eating. And I felt all that control over myself and my head and my life that I feel like I've been missing for years come back and I just feel in control and thin and /good/.
It's good to be back...
[Discussion] Do you ever buy shirts too small to give you inspiration to get down to that size?
/u/AwkwardRainbow
Created: Fri Jul 28 19:17:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q85ea/do_you_ever_buy_shirts_too_small_to_give_you/
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I just bought a really cute shirt a size too small and now I'm really excited to get to a the size to fit it.
[Rant/Rave] Wtf! So proud of myself and then crushed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 19:13:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q84s0/wtf_so_proud_of_myself_and_then_crushed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binged hard today
/u/Newthrowyaccount [5'2 | CW: 120? | CGW: 115 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 19:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q84gb/binged_hard_today/
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Well I can kiss my hard work goodbye... Binged so bad. Box of poptarts, mini bagels and cream cheese, ice cream, burritos, cheesecake strawberries... Binged yesterday as well. Feel super sick. And I still have a party to go to, so will be eating there as well. Goddamn, 1600 calories of poptarts alone.
Tomorrow will restart day 1. Its so hard that weight loss is so slow to see results, I feel like I'll inevitably look this way forever but its my fault, i dont put in the effort long term.
Hope people are having a good day.
[Rant/Rave] So my sister just handed me a hershey's chocolate bar
/u/celestinadine [5'1" | CW too much | HW 142 | GW 100 | 18F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 18:44:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7zhu/so_my_sister_just_handed_me_a_hersheys_chocolate/
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In the middle of my fast.
220 calories.
I put the chocolate bar upstairs so that I wouldn't eat it right away, and now I'm planning to portion it off throughout the following days. I'm going to try not to binge it once I break my fast. I'll probably fail and eat the entire thing at once, but I'm going to try.
[Rant/Rave] Can someone please tell me that the amount of food I ate yesterday won't ruin everything ☹️
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 18:06:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7sbt/can_someone_please_tell_me_that_the_amount_of/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Do you ever?
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Fri Jul 28 18:03:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7rs2/do_you_ever/
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Do you ever realize that it doesn't have to be this way?
For the first time ever it just hit me: my life doesn't have to be this way. I don't *have* to be chronically focused on my weight. I don't *have* to count calories in and exercise calories burned.
I could just wake up, listen to my body, run like always, and be *fine*.
I don't have to restrict my intake or purge out everything that doesn't fit into that restriction.
*so why the fuck do I*
[Other] Just ate 3/4 a pack of Hawaiian rolls
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Fri Jul 28 17:55:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7qgv/just_ate_34_a_pack_of_hawaiian_rolls/
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And half a meatloaf please kill me
[Help] Menstrual Madness [help]
/u/krebsunicycle [5'7" | 114 lbs | 17.79 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 17:54:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7q7c/menstrual_madness_help/
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I've always had pretty rough periods ever since I was young. This month has been particularly bad for some reason. I kept having anxiety attacks for the week before it came and now I'm so bloated and crampy that I can't eat. I keep freaking out when I look in the mirror and I gained like 3 pounds in a day from bloating.
I just want it to be over. It feels like my body is betraying me. Both my body and mind feel foggy and pained. Does anyone have any food/drink recommendations that are good for reducing/minimizing bloat? Or just general recommendations for surviving periods? I've been drinking tons of tea and water. Plz help me proed pals ❤
On mobile so I can't flair but this should be help.
[Discussion] If you smoke cigarettes, do they ever taste like a specific food sometimes?
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 17:20:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7jnh/if_you_smoke_cigarettes_do_they_ever_taste_like_a/
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Maybe my taste is fucked, but sometimes when I smoke the taste reminds me of either Chinese food, roast beef or tea.
I'm so confused, but has anyone else experienced this?
I find it relatively relieving when I'm hungry.
[Rant/Rave] Best appetite suppressant: heartbreak
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 17:14:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7il8/best_appetite_suppressant_heartbreak/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] peach friends?
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7| CW: 105 | BMI: 16.4 | 28F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 17:13:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7igx/peach_friends/
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i just created a peach account (thanks for the idea, lady lemonade). same name as here: iToldAnotherLieToday
add me? sorry if there's already a thread for this.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Jul 28 16:51:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7dxb/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/wweve0ufxecz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] "Wow you look soooo pretty! Did you do something different with your hair?!"
/u/grapefr00ti [5'7" | 22.3 | GW133 | 23F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 16:26:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q7960/wow_you_look_soooo_pretty_did_you_do_something/
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Nope, I'm just starving myself.
[Rant/Rave] My Husband Left the Kids and I 3 Weeks Ago. Finally Getting My Act Together.
/u/lonelypressplay2
Created: Fri Jul 28 16:00:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q73dx/my_husband_left_the_kids_and_i_3_weeks_ago/
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So, as title states, my husband left us 3 weeks ago because he felt we needed a separation in order for him to figure out if this is the life he really wants. I was an absolute mess for 2 of those weeks and spent all of my time crying, calling him, and drowning myself in food. I was in a pretty massive binge cycle since March when the signs first started to show, that he was unhappy. Subsequently, I regained all of the weight that I had lost between January and March.
Monday of this week, I woke up with a new attitude. I took out a massive personal loan in order to pay off mine and my youngest's medical bills. Tonight I am reapplying for university (I have 8 credits left but, have used so many excuses as to why I shouldn't return), and most importantly, I've been working on me. I have been exercising every day and restricting my calories and consuming the water like a fiend. I started wearing lipstick because, hey, I'm worth it. I have not called or texted him since Sunday. I have lost 6 pounds since Sunday. I know a lot of it is probably water weight but, wow, it feels great. I've been journaling like crazy, purging unnecessary items from my home, and spending more time with my kids than moping.
My thought process is, even if he does decide to leave, I have bettered myself. Who knows, tomorrow, I might be a mess but this week, so far, has been great and I am proud of all of my progress. My life may be totally out of control right now but I am controlling the things that I can and that feels good. I love counting every single calorie. I love the feeling of being full off of less and less. I love knowing that when I get on the scale in the morning, the number will be less. It's total control for me. Thank goodness, I have that and my kids right now.
Anyway, I suppose this is my introduction in a sense. I've had disordered eating my entire life and I suspect both my mother and brother (both now deceased) did as well. Hi, beautiful guys and gals! I've been lurking you all for a while now but, I figured I'd drop in.
[Discussion] What are some things you wish you could do, but your ED gets in the way?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:59:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q739h/what_are_some_things_you_wish_you_could_do_but/
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Please remove is this is too offensive and not for the sub.
I was browsing through Instagram and saw a friend of mine went surfing recently. I don't want to be as muscular as she is (she got super into weightlifting), but I did get a little jealous and now I wish I could be fit enough, or at least have the motivation to be strong enough to go surfing and not feel afraid.
Two years ago I wanted to be my fittest self, so that I could do the things I wanted to do without my body getting in the way. Now, I wonder what happened. Sucks that EDs make us like this. Used to run cross country, was a part of the kickboxing team at my high school and regularly did Crossfit.
Now Idgaf about body fat % as long as I just *look thin.* I guess I miss the old me, but just not enough to want it back. :( Is anyone else (formerly?) athletic and has felt their ED take over like this?
[Help] So far the worst symptoms I've had with my nails from my anorexia.
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 125 | GW 115 | BMI 20ish | -45 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:42:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6zlt/so_far_the_worst_symptoms_ive_had_with_my_nails/
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https://imgur.com/a/hWtFa
Size 3 almost fits!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:41:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6zjd/size_3_almost_fits/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Changes you've noticed in your body?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6wra/changes_youve_noticed_in_your_body/
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Are there any non-numerical differences you've noticed that keep you going? For example this morning I noticed my face was a little slimmer and my belly was smaller than I remember! Also my ring is starting to get loose.
Are there any physical changes you've noticed that keep you going?
[Discussion] Anyone else look to Youtubers for thinspo?
/u/rosesarenotroses
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:26:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6w5z/anyone_else_look_to_youtubers_for_thinspo/
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I specifically watch Vivian V on Youtube. She's soooo thin and little. My favorite video of hers is her [Date Outfit Ideas video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXnmAcgpB6o) - she looks so perfectly thin and elegant, and her style exactly matches mine so I envision myself with her body wearing those clothes. I'm also obsessed with watching "What I Eat In A Day" videos and health/fitness videos, which she has a few of on her channel. Does anybody else do this? I do it because I've become pretty bored of just looking at photos on Tumblr, I wanted to start seeing moving thinspo because that's that part I want, the part where when you walk and spin and dance you still look gorgeous and thin.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have Pro/Ed spouse or SO?
/u/convincemeimhere [5'2" | CW 103.8| 19.7% |GW 92]
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:26:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6w1t/does_anyone_else_have_proed_spouse_or_so/
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I'm curious if anyone else here is in a relationship with someone who has disordered eating or knows about their disorder and supports them? My husband is very supportive of what I'm going through, has known about my BED for years, and I just recently admitted that to him that I'm anorexic. The thing is, he also admits to having disordered eating (not quite as severe as many people I've come across) but he still goes through binge periods followed by fasting. He'll fast for like a week at a time to lose pounds.
Anyways, I'm just curious if anyone else discusses this with their SO or is open about their condition.
[Help] so...about this bronkaid sht
/u/SamPlaid [5'4" | 107 | 18.7 |GW:85 | female]
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:05:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6rc2/soabout_this_bronkaid_sht/
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do you guys know if this is available in new york state?? and does anyone have any personal experience they'd like to share? i'd really appreciate it.
[Help] Anyone have tricks or schemes for vacation?
/u/seattlesundown [25F, GW 110, 5'4"]
Created: Fri Jul 28 15:04:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6r73/anyone_have_tricks_or_schemes_for_vacation/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate that sweets are "cute"
/u/lyxil [5' 0"| 93 lb | 19.13 | -47 | f]
Created: Fri Jul 28 14:18:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6g9j/i_hate_that_sweets_are_cute/
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So, all my life I've wanted to be "cute". I absolutely adore everything cute in life, so naturally I want to be cute too. I can't help it, I just love cute things!
Well, things like cake and cookies are very cute. Lavish, decorated cakes with colorful berries on top... cupcakes with half their height in frosting... cookies adorned with cute icing. It's all sickening cute, and I (almost) love everything about them!
(You know where I'm going with this)
The thing is, I also love to cook and bake. I love baking cakes and cookies because I love cute things. My boyfriend loves when I bake; he thinks it's the cutest thing and showers me with compliments.
Yes, yes, it's all so very nice, isn't it... You see, baking "cute" sweets also means someone's gotta eat them, sugar... and...
GUESS WHAT'S NOT CUTE?? BEING FAT!! HOW CAN I DARE TRY TO BE CUTE IF I'M STUFFING MY FACE WITH CUPCAKES?? WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE THIS WHOLE "WOW, CAKES COOKIES SUGAR FROSTING CHOCOLATE SO CUTE!!" THING? FAT IS NOT CUTE, BUT SOMEHOW THE BEAUTIFUL BAKED GOODS THAT MAKE YOU FAT ARE?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!??
whew. Well. Is there any middle ground here? Can I like cute things and baking at the same time without losing my mind with how many fucking calories all the goddamn "cute" food is? I wish it was all the healthy food that is cute... Instead of either baking tons of cute things and hating myself afterwards, or not baking at all and feeling like a failure for not being cute enough.
[Discussion] PSA for all the drinkers, four lokos are 600+ calories :/
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Fri Jul 28 14:04:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6d1f/psa_for_all_the_drinkers_four_lokos_are_600/
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It makes me so so so so mad that alcohol doesn't list calorie counts. How do they even fit that many in a DRINK.
[Goal] Down a bra size - hurrah!
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 117 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Fri Jul 28 13:28:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q6503/down_a_bra_size_hurrah/
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Boobs get in the way.
Don't you just hate baggy clothes with big boobs and they make you look fatter even on a good tummy day? Well all I wear is baggy black clothes so no one sees my weight loss (and cause I'm insecure af and cause none of my size 2/4 things which are all colours and patterns and revealing currently fit ).
Anyhow I have now shrunk out of my C cups! So yay for me now being a B!
Small boob club here I come :)
[Other] Got a tongue piercing...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 13:24:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q642m/got_a_tongue_piercing/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone try these? They are so good! 10calories a bottle, it's organic and vegan. (It's alittle sweet though with only 1g of sugar)
/u/NotStephany [5'5| too fat | 33.55 | -95lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 13:15:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q61zn/anyone_try_these_they_are_so_good_10calories_a/
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https://i.redd.it/hfif7tuzudcz.jpg
[Other] Haven't eaten today yet...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 12:08:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q5ly7/havent_eaten_today_yet/
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Using my calories to drink instead.
Got some appetite suppressants, cigarettes and Coke zero.
Also, how do you guys get more water in your life? I am so bad at drinking water and need to up this.
Pray for me! Gonna try and do a whole 24h without solids.
Then I can work my way up to 48...
[Discussion] For people who've lost a significant amount of weight, has your ribcage "shrunk"? There's not much fat on mine but it looks so wide :(
/u/Dietingthrowaway1
Created: Fri Jul 28 12:08:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q5lsq/for_people_whove_lost_a_significant_amount_of/
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I can feel my ribs, I don't think there's much fat left to lose around them even though I have 30 pounds to go before I'm "thin." It makes me worried that I'll always be really wide :(
But I read somewhere that it's possible to accumulate fat *underneath* your ribcage which expands it and as you lose fat, your ribcage could physically become smaller. Sounds like wishful thinking :/ Has anyone experienced anything like this?
Qué es el PEI
/u/psmiltoncubillos
Created: Fri Jul 28 11:53:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q5i8p/qué_es_el_pei/
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https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=0qgyIqbO6Lo&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D09cIGFAm2Dc%26feature%3Dshare
[Tip] Does anyone else like weird interactive journals? 📓 I've been finding them really helpful for anxiety management lately (I'm not a coloring person).
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 11:32:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q5d36/does_anyone_else_like_weird_interactive_journals/
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https://imgur.com/6nqIIOj
[Tip] When McDonald's saves your ass
/u/medumsoycapp
Created: Fri Jul 28 11:27:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q5bqy/when_mcdonalds_saves_your_ass/
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Hi everyone, this is a new account but I've been here for ages.
So I was just experiencing really bad stress today, I was so irritable and depressed and lonely. It was 2 am and having not had anything but coffee I decided I'd go get a diet coke from MD's for both the exercise and something to fill my stomach so I could sleep. and maybe a small pack of fries.
I got there and I found the most amazing, vegan, cheap, relatively low calorie thing there. McDonald's cookies. They're 280 calories and $1 for a packet, and for how filling they are, so worth it. Honestly with a diet coke I could consider it a meal (not very nutritious though). This is in Australia if you're wondering!
Don't mean to brag about something like cookies because I know a lot of people might consider them an unsafe food but I remember crying in the holidays about how the rice cakes in the pantry were 100 calories each and not filling at all.
[Rant/Rave] I'm happy about this and I can only express it here
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Fri Jul 28 11:12:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q5834/im_happy_about_this_and_i_can_only_express_it_here/
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I was doing really well in my restricting yesterday until my dad came home and made dinner. He is a really good cook and likes making big meals so even if i'm well within my goal of the day and save enough for his dinners, they usually cause me to eat way too much during the rest of the night. So today i'm starting out well and had 2 cups of coffee while preparing 2 small things for today. I've been into salads lately with a lot of berries and spinach and veggies. So I prepared 2 containers of my usual salads and they each had the same of everything with 100 calories in each little Tupperware. I didn't plan it to be 100 each but idk i'm just so pleased with them. Okay so that is probably my ocd as well but i wrote on a sticky note the 100 and wrote that one is just for after dinner tonight. I hope this works because I really need to get back into my restriction I was doing so well before. Anyway sorry to rant but i've got all this on my mind and wanted to do something about it.
My life is falling apart but my ED is thriving :~)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 10:53:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q53f5/my_life_is_falling_apart_but_my_ed_is_thriving/
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[deleted]
[Goal] I FINALLY BROKE THE 140S
/u/almightylurker [5'1" | 145 | 27.4 | -70 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 10:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4yw1/i_finally_broke_the_140s/
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I'm so happy I'm gonna cry. I've been in the 140s for literally months and it was driving me insane but as of recently I have been getting back to properly restricting. Yesterday morning I weighed in at 139.8 but I figured I wouldn't get too excited bc my body hates me and the number was bound to go up but guys, I weighed myself this morning and I weigh 138.4. This is the lowest weight I have been since middle school. I'm gonna celebrate by eating a bunch of fruit and going on a long walk :)
[Rant/Rave] [nsv] i'm 00 in target vanity sizing
/u/kittencow
Created: Fri Jul 28 10:18:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4uz3/nsv_im_00_in_target_vanity_sizing/
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i'm not even objectively skinny. target sizing is ridiculous? still kind of happy
[Discussion] Any body else go off of a certain body part, to avoid looking at the scale?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 10:16:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4ugr/any_body_else_go_off_of_a_certain_body_part_to/
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I don't know why but it's always been my wrists and fingers. I loved being able to overlap my fingers on my wrist and seeing my hands all thin I don't know why. I also have tattoos on my hand and they look way better on a thin hand then when I was all chunky. Since I've been back on restricting I try to keep away from the scale, because if I find out I haven't really been losing I feel so bad, but I measure my wrist with my fingers everyday and go by that lol. Any body else do this?
[Help] [Help] I can get my thighs to touch again
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 10:02:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4r0g/help_i_can_get_my_thighs_to_touch_again/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Sorry if this is the billionth post about peach... but peach?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Fri Jul 28 09:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4nz4/sorry_if_this_is_the_billionth_post_about_peach/
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I've been seeing a lot of posts about peach lately and decided to make an account ~ fulloffranzia so feel free to add me :)
[Rant/Rave] A week of what felt like endless binging and how it turned out well in the end
/u/VirideGliridae [5'3" | F28 | GW: 100lbs | UGW: 90lbs for now]
Created: Fri Jul 28 09:43:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4mcq/a_week_of_what_felt_like_endless_binging_and_how/
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So last week I ate what felt like a lot. A huge amount. I still logged all of it, and found that I'd eaten at maintenance or a bit below for most days, and gone over maintenance on one day. My average for the week was 1350 calories per day (one day was over 2000, some days around 1600, some days 1000).
I felt awful. I felt like I'd become a huge binge machine. I gained a pound though - just a pound, and it was near the start of the week, so probably just some bloat from the sudden uptick in calories. I purged on two days - I normally don't, because I'm paranoid about my teeth - but didn't have the opportunity on the other days. Purging fucks up my digestion for ages, and I had diarrhoea afterwards, followed by not pooping for several days despite the sheer volume of food I was consuming. Despite this, my weight stayed stable - but it wasn't going down, and I was a miserable twat because of it.
This week I went back to "normal" - I was petrified that the ONE POUND I'd gained (jeez, a whole pound, definitely worth panicking about *rolls eyes*) would represent my new weight that would NEVER CHANGE unless it were to increase. I started restricting again, though, despite the fear that everything was ruined FOREVER (I had been losing between 1 and 3 lbs a week prior to this, so gaining anything felt horrendous). At least I could "punish" myself for the crisps and bread and cheese and pizza of last week.
But. BUT. I'm down 4 lbs this week, so far, and the week isn't over. This is unheard of for me at 500 - 700 kcal per day, I normally drop maybe 1-2 lbs a week, 3 in a really freakishly good week. Last week's "maintenance" seems to have completely reset me, it's like starting over all over again, that initial big whoosh of half a stone in a week or something. AND even better...the poops. Oh my god, I've been pooping every day and it's been so...freeing? I didn't know my bowels could feel this good. Peeing like crazy too, it's like my body is emptying itself, but it needed the week of "binging" (OK, I know it's not really binging, but it felt like an awful lot to me) to get itself back into gear.
Additionally, my trousers are looser and I've been having very little trouble restricting - I've been hungry, sure, but not voraciously so. I've not felt any particular urges to consume an entire head of cabbage whilst sobbing over pictures of Cheesy Wotsits. I've even had chocolate - I ate a single chocolate, and stopped there because I didn't want any more - OK, I don't love sweet things much to be honest, but like...I **felt full** after a single chocolate. Am I dreaming? Is this a real feeling that I'm capable of having again?
OK, so what's the moral of the story? Don't beat yourself up over a week of higher than normal calories, because it might be just what your body needs to keep going. It seems to have reset my internal hunger clock a bit as well - I get most hungry at dinner time, which is when I usually eat all my calories anyways, and that's...kind of an OK time to be craving food.
Downsides: I've been feeling a little faint and dizzy this week, which I put down to the sudden shift in the amount I've been eating, and I had a killer headache the first couple of days (salted lettuce and tea helped), but other than that...I feel weirdly good.
I'm gonna try not to be so totally - insane - if I have days like that again in future, because honestly the net positives have seriously outweighed the negative feelings I had at the time. I know this might just be wishful thinking, but for now I am proceeding with that in mind, anyway.
[Intro] Hey guys
/u/celestinadine [5'1" | CW too much | HW 142 | GW 100 | 18F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 09:20:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4gt2/hey_guys/
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Hello, I've been a long time lurker and I finally decided to make a post. Idk exactly how much to share, so I guess I'll just give it a go.
I've struggled with an eating disorder since middle school, which I'm sure is common with a lot of y'all. When I was young, I was known as the kid that was always skinny no matter how much she ate. I've had an obsessive and perfectionist personality for as long as I remember so I'm not really surprised I ended up with an eating disorder looking back. At first, I didn't care about weight at all, but then the idea of having to be the skinny girl kind of caught up to me, I think. It started when I was 13 - I would stare in the mirror and contemplate whether I was really skinny or whether everyone was just telling me that. Was I still skinny enough to hold up to my reputation? Objectively, looking back, I know I was definitely skinny. But at that time, I couldn't see it.
That's when the restricting started. I think I was already 5'0" at this point (almost done growing), and I remember vividly being unhappy at 97 pounds. I also would exercise obsessively if I decided I ate too much. I restricted and restricted, and eventually by the time I was 14 I hit 88 pounds. That was my lowest weight ever. Unfortunately, my parents broke the news that we were moving to another state, right before my freshman year of high school. I suddenly felt like I lost control, and I ended up binging and binging.
The binging never stopped.
I would go through cycles of binge and restrict, binge and restrict, but I obviously didn't restrict enough because by the time I was 16 I hit 142 pounds. Despite running miles and miles a day because of cross country, I still managed to get that large. I officially knew that I was no longer the skinny girl because I was in the overweight category of BMI. How had I gone from the skinny girl to the fat girl? Last year I restricted until I hit 128 pounds but unfortunately binged back up. I went back up to 142, but I'm at 135 now.
So that's basically the summary of my ED journey, but I'm glad I found this community. You guys are so kind and aren't toxic like other communities I've seen. Anyway, I'm glad I finally decided to post :)
[Rant/Rave] why am i like this...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 09:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4db5/why_am_i_like_this/
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[removed]
[Other] I have gained weight, and can't wait when I'm unable to buy booze because of money
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |50 kg | 18,4 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 08:57:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q4bfb/i_have_gained_weight_and_cant_wait_when_im_unable/
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My scale keeps showing numbers around 51 kgs, it's 114 lbs or something. No matter what I do in the short term, the number doesn't budge under 50 kgs.
I think it's because of my drinking. And not just the calories - but when I'm throwing up, I might be pretty lazy with that because I'm drunk and want to go to sleep. And if I'm really drunk, I might eat something like 2000 cals after the b/p.
So. I hate the fact that I have serious financial problems right now, but yeah- I can't drink, I can't eat, and *won't" eat that much in my drunken haze.
So, isn't this a silver lining, eh?
[Humor] When you wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats with the thought "What if all those diet cokes I've ordered at restaurants were regular coke?"
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Fri Jul 28 08:39:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q47ag/humor_when_you_wake_up_in_the_middle_of_the_night/
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[removed]
[Goal] Almost To My Goal!!
/u/glossyaphrodite [5'2 | 108 | 18.5 | GW 93 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 08:26:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q44h4/almost_to_my_goal/
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I plateaued at 107 ish, and I think the reason why was because I smoke weed sometimes and would binge, but I'm very surprised I didn't gain more than I did.
Anyways my GW is 93, which is pretty realistic. I will add that I was placed on Wellbutrin and it pretty killed my appetite where I only eat a small meal (usually under 400cals) but I run three miles a day, and I work at Anthropologie where I'm standing for ~6 hours and get my steps in.
What I'm afraid of is gaining all that weight when my appetite goes back to normal (where I was probably eating ~600 cals, unless I was stoned then I really didn't care to count out of fear).
I think it can be sustainable with exercise daily, and a clean meal (I am vegan, lmao) and getting needed vitamins in.
Let me know your experience with Wellbutrin, etc!
[Rant/Rave] im so fucking tired of the holier than thou people
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 08:23:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q43qb/im_so_fucking_tired_of_the_holier_than_thou_people/
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disclaimer: i dont purge but i do binge so, while these comments dont pertain to me personally they do piss me tf off
every time a bulimic person on youtube records their experience/binges to hold themselves accountable, theres always some smug bastard in the comments saying something like
"THERE ARE PEOPLE STARVING IN AFRICA WHILE YOU STUFF FOOD DOWN YOUR GUTTER AND PUKE IT BACK UP WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"
DO YOU THINK WE DONT KNOW??? holy shit. i know when i binge that im wasting perfectly good food (since its going to fat im planning to get rid of anyway). but that doesnt fucking stop me. my desire to hurt myself, at that moment, takes precedence over my fucking morals.
do these people realize that, whether you eat the food or not, the people in africa arent getting it either way??? it just reminds me of parents telling kids to clear their plates because people are starving in africa. are you taking the leftovers to them directly on a plane or what? lmao
/rant
[Discussion] Using ED as an escape
/u/chi-town_nigga
Created: Fri Jul 28 07:48:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3w7x/using_ed_as_an_escape/
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I would say I developed it because of normal body image issues, but I would also say I keep it that way as a means to escape from reality and emotions and hurting. It's difficult to focus on facts like how I have zero friends and nobody likes me and how I hate my current situation and there's probably nothing I can feasibly do about it and how generally unhappy I am with everything ever when I'm obsessed with my own body and how it feels to me. It sort of numbs all other emotions, and I think I'm fine with that. What do you all think?
[Discussion] Anyone here was on PrettyThin or involved in the Pro ana fb community?
/u/drinkinshamepain
Created: Fri Jul 28 07:45:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3vj8/anyone_here_was_on_prettythin_or_involved_in_the/
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I remember back in my days when i was heavily involved in the ana community i was on pretty thin but also before that the Pro ana community on fb was very active and i had a fb specially for people with eds
Classic
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 07:34:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3thh/classic/
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http://i.imgur.com/BGvGTfY.jpg
[Other] Bowel Movements
/u/sqimahvn
Created: Fri Jul 28 07:26:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3ru9/bowel_movements/
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Yep so a bit weird and sorry for the tmi post but I seem to only have a BM every three days or so, even when eating 1,500 calories a day.
A bit of history: I used to be severely within my eating disorder (5 years ago) and regularly fasted for a day or two, consumed 250 cal for a day, then fasted again sort of thing.
I've been in recovery and eating more like 2000 calories a day the past few years.
Recently cut down to 1000-1500 (about a month ago) and ever since I don't have frequent BM. I constantly feel bloated and disgusting and I'm not really sure what my body is doing... anyone have any experience with this or can offer any solidarity? I hate it 😭😭
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like failure
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|154.8 lbs lbs|24.6|20F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 07:19:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3qcj/feeling_like_failure/
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I have been binge eating all week.
My weight is up 5 lbs from my lowest.
I have been eating 2500+ every single day since Sunday.
I am tempted to buy a laxative so my insides can me clean and pure again.
I am buying more bronkaid.
If I could just eat ~1200 calories, that would be SPLENDID. I feel so gross.
[Help] Weight has stayed the same for 6 days (!) of low restriction. What could cause this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 07:06:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3nms/weight_has_stayed_the_same_for_6_days_of_low/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] How long did it take you to lose weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 06:46:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3jud/how_long_did_it_take_you_to_lose_weight/
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[removed]
Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! July 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 28 06:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3e39/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_july/
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This is the weekly picture thread for July 28, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 28 06:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3e2h/daily_food_diary_july_28_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 28, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Humor] My shopping trolley made me laugh at how ED it was today 🤷🏻♀️
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5ft4 | CW 118.8 lbs | BMI 20.3 | GW 112 lbs | 52.2 lbs lost | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 06:01:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q3bz9/my_shopping_trolley_made_me_laugh_at_how_ed_it/
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https://i.redd.it/6nbthtulpbcz.jpg
[Other] This is...kind of nice
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Fri Jul 28 05:36:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q380x/this_iskind_of_nice/
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After ruthlessly b/ping for about a year, I fell back into calorie counting.
It's...meditative, almost. I love drawing up meal plans and figuring what to replace to meet my goal for the day. I like finding out about all the different things I get to try (cauliflower rice!). I'm considerably less stressed than I was before counting. I think about food less. Earlier, it was all that was on my mind. I look forward to calculating intake from serving sizings. Quantitatively, I'm in control.
The last time I distinctly remember having a habit of counting was probably November of 2015. It feels like coming home.
[Other] Burn XXX Calories Exercise Pictures/Charts. How to smell bullshit?
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Fri Jul 28 05:06:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q33ln/burn_xxx_calories_exercise_picturescharts_how_to/
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Related pictures -> http://imgur.com/a/FdwU9
I see these float around and it doesn't seem accurate. Can anyone either: 1. Give me something they use and think is accurate as far as a good calorie burning exercise I can do in the morning (that isn't running). Or 2. Let me know how they find what an accurate measure for these things are?
Much appreciated! : )
[Goal] Fasting until September 1st
/u/penguin368
Created: Fri Jul 28 05:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q33ga/fasting_until_september_1st/
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So I am starting a fast today, and I am planning on continuing it throughout the rest of this month and all of August. I'm 145 lbs and I could easily get down to at least 110 if I fasted for over a month.
I'm not really sure where to keep track of this fast.I've never gone longer than 2 days so this is a tad unrealistic but I'm really going to put everything I got into not eating because I am so tired of being as fat as I am. I gained so much weight since last summer and it's just really disgusting.
It's 7 am and I am on hour 7 of my fast. I'm not going to weigh myself until I start noticing changes, so hopefully in a few weeks I am able to do that. I have these goal leggings that I want to be able to wear at the end of my fast so I'm excited, hopefully I'll be able to fit!
Would anyone be interested in watching YouTube videos of me talking about the fast and how I'm feeling and stuff? I could maybe post one every week or something.
[Other] Are we still doing these ED shopping baskets?
/u/vulpixies [5'4" | CW 123 | 24F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 05:01:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q32r8/are_we_still_doing_these_ed_shopping_baskets/
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https://imgur.com/a/gNm4Z
[Discussion] DAE look at pictures of food like it's pornography?
/u/NerdBird49 [5'5.5" | HW: 216 | CW: ~160 | GW: 140 lbs | UGW: 116 lbs | F 20]
Created: Fri Jul 28 04:46:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q30k9/dae_look_at_pictures_of_food_like_its_pornography/
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Whenever I get bored, or maybe if I have a craving, I'll go on Pinterest and just browse through pictures of food. It's almost like porn for me. I guess that might make some people binge, but I haven't had that issue.
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 7.28
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Fri Jul 28 04:28:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2y3a/thinspiration_728/
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http://imgur.com/a/mwIqk
[Intro] Taking my play about eating disorders to Edinburgh Fringe Festival
/u/C_kay_b
Created: Fri Jul 28 04:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2x90/taking_my_play_about_eating_disorders_to/
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Hi!
My name is Elpida and I’m an actress, bringing a monologue about eating disorders and mental health to Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The play is called “Stegosaurus”. I am reaching out because I believe it would definitely interest you, if you find yourself around Edinburgh Fringe.
Stegosaurus was originally staged in Greece and this is it’s second run in English, the first being in Camden this past February.
It was greatly received by people in the disorder, relatives, therapists and audience.
It is a very strong play, with lots of hope in it, that honestly depicts the thoughts and feelings of a person who is dealing with these issues. Someone who is struggling with societal pressure and the emotional and physical damage that eating disorders and depression has caused. Someone who doesn’t fit in the world.
I will be doing 20 shows from 2nd to 19th of August.
If you or someone you believe would be interested is around, please let them know and do come and visit us at the Edinburgh Fringe festival this year.
I’ll be happy to see you all there and talk to you after the show.
Meanwhile I’m more than happy to reply to any questions you might have.
Best
Elpida
[Rant/Rave] I feel like such a fake
/u/UglyFilthyDog [Male|Fluctuating|No GW|Mad Purger]
Created: Fri Jul 28 04:17:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2wmz/i_feel_like_such_a_fake/
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I don't weigh myself, I barely restrict, I have no idea how much I intake each day, I don't follow rules, I just purge constantly, even water and tea. And cry. I feel repulsive. I've been like this for nearly 10 years. How am I still alive? Im sick (LOL) of it. I have no control over myself at all.
I think my ed (and ocd) are pushing me into this tiny box of fear and desperation to control myself. I wish I was a nice clean person. I wish I could not eat. I don't know what to do any more. Sorry if this all reads as nonsense. Its before noon and im already drunk. Its the only thing that stops me eating and subsequently puking.
[Rant/Rave] I hate feelings
/u/lessavauges [5'10 | CW: 139 | GW: 126 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 04:05:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2uvu/i_hate_feelings/
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Sorry this is a random rant. I recently broke it off with a "thing" where I had feelings that weren't reciprocated, and it hurt a lot, I won't deny it. Got Tinder to try make me feel better, immediately saw him on it, thought it wouldn't hurt but it did. It makes me never want to eat again, I feel so unattractive, why didn't he want to date me :( I wish I could starve my feelings away, I hate emotions. Also he's gonna be at a party tomorrow night, what do I do, I feel like I'm gonna do something stupid while drunk
Sorry again for the rant
[Rant/Rave] My hair is ruined and I want to cry...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Jul 28 02:55:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2lj0/my_hair_is_ruined_and_i_want_to_cry/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
It's neatly 2 in the morning I just woke up to use the bathroom and felt my hair being tangled so I brushed it and literally felt significant parts of it break. I think it's the result of all the bleach and dye the past few months I've ruined it and I want to cry.
I can't be skinny and my fucking hair is ruined and I might have to shave my head after over a year or so of growing it out...
I am so sad about every thing now I just want to nearly kill myself at the gym when I wake up for the day...
I'm going to lose 6 pounds this week..if I lose my beautiful unique hair at least I can be skinny...
Fuck I hate myself
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Keep getting told by family 'not to lose any more weight'
/u/borbolete [5'4.3" | 🍑: borbolete]
Created: Fri Jul 28 02:17:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2gwv/keep_getting_told_by_family_not_to_lose_any_more/
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I'm still 4 lbs away from my second gw, and 10 lbs away from my ultimate goal which I do know is tiny but I also want muscle weight on top of it which will make me look less tiny (which I have already accepted is going to take a long time to get to this in order to avoid arousing suspicions, I was estimating Christmas).
Fortunately the end of the summer is coming in two months, so by the time I've reached my second goal and getting lower, I'll be wearing much more heavier and bulkier clothes most of the time.
Not asking for tips on how to fake my size, but has anyone else dealt with this who has also managed to hide their eating disordered habits from their friends and family? So far there is absolute 0% suspicion because I eat completely fully normally around family and I'm always happy around them. I also said I was about 10lbs higher than I am when my mum asked just then (I should have probably not answered off the pat with my answer as quickly as possible, but whatever)
It drives me mad because my brother is dating someone my UGW who looks gorgeous and now suddenly I'm too thin? I am at least 10 lbs heavier than her (that's not even eating disordered thinking there, that's the truth). Stop telling me what to do with my body, I'm mid 20s!
Need to be thinner 😴
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 02:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2g0d/need_to_be_thinner/
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https://i.redd.it/lc00c52gkacz.jpg
[Discussion] Pro tips for when you've eaten so much you can barely breathe let alone move
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Fri Jul 28 01:45:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q2cnm/pro_tips_for_when_youve_eaten_so_much_you_can/
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My stomach seems to hold much less than it used to so regular amounts of food leave me feeling 9 months pregnant and in pain. Any tips? I've tried pacing, mint, ACV, heating pads, laying on the food baby but nothing seems to helps much.
[Rant/Rave] I love all u fuzzy kittens so much
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 ✨ | 101 🌺 | 15.6 💞]
Created: Fri Jul 28 01:09:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q27jo/i_love_all_u_fuzzy_kittens_so_much/
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WARNING: embarrassing post ahead, feel free to avert your eyes
Basically, I was just thinking about all the millions of ED sufferers out there who aren't a part - or even aware - of communities/safe spaces like this, and it got me all up in my feels. Every single one of you has been so welcoming and supportive, and the focus on empowerment and encouragement rather than judgment and toxicity is so precious and difficult to find beyond this sub (both on the internet and irl.) It hurts my heart that we're all here and struggling - but I'm so happy that at least we're in it together (inb4 the High School Musical jokes)
Also, to any lurkers reading this and debating whether or not to get involved: I was one of you for the longest time (as I'm sure most of us were) and my advice is to just do itttt. Nothing has been better for my peace of mind, and I've found some amazing friends here that just Get It™ like no one else could. Don't let your messed-up ol' brains convince you that you aren't good enough or don't belong or something. You're all a buncha beautiful little gems. <3
TLDR: I'm a soppy emotional mess atm and you're all bearing the brunt of it x
[Rant/Rave] Decided I want to move back to Taiwan and my ED is back with a vengeance.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 00:42:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q23em/decided_i_want_to_move_back_to_taiwan_and_my_ed/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Goal weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 28 00:37:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q22k4/goal_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Motivation my name is Willow
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Jul 28 00:12:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1yjt/motivation_my_name_is_willow/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I have added up my binges from the last three says and I am over my goals by over 5000 calories...fuck.
Pretty much two days I was over 2500 and one day I came close to breaking even. Today I fasted and I pretty much intend to fast until I make up for my binges and my goal now that I have a gym membership is to make room for or work off my binges..
I actually like working out but I feel like this is also going to be a lot of work. I hope I can get back into a rhythm like I have in the past. I think if I settle into working out I can try restricting because in the past I've been able to work out for a couple hours.
My dream goal is to actually be able to eat at work. Maybe if I make a big enough dent some says I can have calories from work and just try to be normal...
I just wish I could be normal. Even working out I won't get close to my goal until November. Working out seems pointless but i am determined to do this so I can actually feel good able myself when I reach my goal weight..i won't be able to do that until I am skinny again..
Willow.
[Tip] Well.... EDs are officially a disability according to the SSA...
/u/ElectroFlannelGore
Created: Fri Jul 28 00:03:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1x60/well_eds_are_officially_a_disability_according_to/
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https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/12.00-MentalDisorders-Adult.htm#12_13
[Rant/Rave] Hurting
/u/mildolconf [5'9" | 134.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 23:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1weh/hurting/
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This isn't entirely relevant but I'm really hurting right now and need somewhere to let it out. I recently started a new job & it's been rough trying to learn everything. When I make a mistake I take it super personally & feel really guilty & embarrassed- I also talk about just about everything I'm feeling because that's how I process and work through things & try to get perspective or insight on how to make it right. I know who I am, but a person at work ripped into me tonight when I asked what I'd done because I wanted to make it right. He sent a huge message tearing me & who I am apart & saying I'm a type of person I know I'm not (I've also known him less than 2 weeks). It was ruthless & full of accusations & he claims I have a reputation at work for being this way. It hurt, obviously, ans I cried & want to quit. I know I can't, but anytime I'm emotionally devastated I turn to restriction. I already was because I was feeling so emotionally overwhelmed, but now I just want to starve. It's like it's the only thing I feel like I can do. I don't want to harm myself in other ways or drink because that's part of what got me in trouble with this situation anyway. I've already been restricting and this is just driving it further and I feel so broken right now. I wish I never had to go back.
[Thinspo] Some Buzzfeed Anti-Thinspo
/u/imprettyhopeless [5'1 | 113 | 22.30 | -39 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 23:35:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1sm6/some_buzzfeed_antithinspo/
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https://www.buzzfeed.com/danielabeck/chubby-lil-tummy?utm_term=.axn8P1kEXe#.axn8P1kEXe
[Help] i've gained so much weight in the past 2 weeks and i have no self control please help me
/u/oniondipndots
Created: Thu Jul 27 23:05:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1nxq/ive_gained_so_much_weight_in_the_past_2_weeks_and/
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holy fuck i can't believe this i've gained like 5 pounds an do hate myself more than ever. i have so little self control i'm constantly surrounded by food, ,y parents are overweight and i get the vibe they don't agree with my 'diet' which is so fucking aggravating and doesn't help me at all, they only encourage me to eat like a pig. FUCK i haven't hated myself this much for so long.
[Discussion] Do you guys get really thirsty?
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 22:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1mxt/do_you_guys_get_really_thirsty/
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Like Jesus Christ. I get that you're supposed to drink water, but I'm coming up to my twentieth cup of water for the day and I'm still thirsty. Is this an ED thing? My sodium intake hasn't been too high, (although I had some earlier because I had a headache after I drank water and that helped) but I still shouldn't feel this thirsty???? Do you guys have the same thing? How do you deal with it if you do?
[Rant/Rave] I ate 1200 cal and I hate myself
/u/jigglemonster
Created: Thu Jul 27 22:50:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1lka/i_ate_1200_cal_and_i_hate_myself/
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I've been on low restriction (~700cal) for a couple days but I was so goddamn hungry and I ate a turkey sandwich. It's ruined my day. Why can't I have goddamn self control?!
[Rant/Rave] Gained 3 pounds now fasting for 48 hours
/u/DayddyLonglegs
Created: Thu Jul 27 22:30:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1ifj/gained_3_pounds_now_fasting_for_48_hours/
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Fuck fuck fuck guys i've barely slept in the last few days and my sleep schedule is crazy, like i've gained 3 pounds (114 to 117lbs) because when i'm tired a just eat like a damn cow.
Also, i've never fasted this long and i'm weirdly excited ×
[Rant/Rave] I'm trying to lose healthily but have been purging again...
/u/thelovelightsglowing
Created: Thu Jul 27 22:30:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1ie1/im_trying_to_lose_healthily_but_have_been_purging/
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Not often or super effectively, but even a little isn't normal or good for me. I am so good about tracking my calories, but then there are all these situations in which it's like I have to eat or drink and it goes over my limit and I feel compelled to purge even though I don't think it does anything in the long run. I have had a houseguest this week and am having a pool party birthday party tomorrow, and my plan was to do all my gym days and stay below my calorie limit all week and not drink so I wouldn't be bloated for pool time, but my guest kept wanting to eat out and get drinks and now I am super bloated and feel disgusting and he and my boyfriend finally went out together and I had a minute to myself where I ate some cool whip and hummus and then purged it up with my expensive sushi dinner. It felt like a thing I needed to do but uh I just want to get back to my exercise/calorie tracking routine and not be constantly stuck in situations where I have to eat out or have drinks to be sociable. The fucked up thing is I planned all the food at my party to be things I feel ok about eating--grilled chicken and veggies and an ice cream cake out of halo top. But instead I spent the rest of my week overeating and drinking cocktails and I'm dreading wearing a swimsuit in front of people tomorrow even though I know it's just my friends and none of them will notice an extra pound of water weight...
[Intro] Deleted my account last night to ~recover~ and now I'm back (intro-ish?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 22:24:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1hdh/deleted_my_account_last_night_to_recover_and_now/
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Fuck recovery. It ain't gonna happen until at least next year and all these stupid attempts at being "normal" only make me feel worse in the morning and stall my progress. I *know* I can't recover by myself so why do I keep convincing myself to try? I found a really good treatment center that I'll go to after school ends next year, and I'll try like hell to get better. But until then I just wanna be skinny for a while.
[Help] Worried about discussing my anemia with my doctor tomorrow
/u/Rickticia
Created: Thu Jul 27 22:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1glc/worried_about_discussing_my_anemia_with_my_doctor/
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Not sure if this falls under help, and if this goes against the sub rules I'll gladly take it down.
I found out today that I have anemia. My iron levels have always been on the lower side, and I can only donate blood and platelets about 2/3s of the time. Looking back, the dizziness and slight darkening of my vision these past few weeks make sense now.
I don't want to tell the doctor about my ED because I don't want my family to find out, but I don't want to risk my health more. How should I handle this tomorrow?
[Discussion] Does anyone else have a hard time opening up to their therapist?
/u/DidgeridoOrDie
Created: Thu Jul 27 22:09:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q1eso/does_anyone_else_have_a_hard_time_opening_up_to/
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This is my first post, so sorry if I breaks any rules.
I've been seeing a therapist for a few months. This is my first time in therapy. I've had an eating disorder on and off for over 12 years. She is the first person I have ever talked to about my eating disorder. We've talked about my past ED behaviors and I am open about my current ED thoughts. But, I just can't get myself to open up and talk about the fact that I've been restricting and over exercising (or the million other little behaviors) for months. I know she suspects that I've relapsed. But, saying those words out loud feels impossible. I think part of my issue is that I feel like I'm to blame for relapsing - like I'm just doing this to myself on purpose. I just keep thinking it would be better to quit therapy than to face this.
[Rant/Rave] Dude, this is insane. I spent some time in a recovery mindset and now I'm back. Previously /u/fckk.
/u/2fckk
Created: Thu Jul 27 21:15:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q153e/dude_this_is_insane_i_spent_some_time_in_a/
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Idk, this is fucking crazy. I felt "freed" by the recovery and self-love mindset. I mean it was very real and it was amazing. I spent a few weeks slowly deleting all my shit. I deleted my reddit account that I had for years because it had a ton of thinspo and proed posts. I deleted my secret instagram full of thinspo and proed/quasi-recovery members. I made a new instagram full of self-love advocates and true recovery accounts. I told my best friend about my eating disorder (unheard of). I promised my boyfriend the worst was behind us, AND I MEANT IT. I went to a NEDA march in my city and cried at the recovery stories shared. I grasped the concept of hurting my "little girl" self and became incredibly sad that I damaged myself. I promised MYSELF it was over. All of these things were extremely hard and I took it very seriously.
And....holy fuck man. I fucking killed it at life during those few weeks of this mindset. I got a motherfucking FULL TIME DREAM JOB WITH BENEFITS and I start in 2 weeks. Because I was finally able to complete a resume and cover letter and find places to submit it and then actually submitted it. I STARTED GRAD SCHOOL AND GOT AN A ON MY FIRST EXAM. I worked out and developed a toned physique. I got a cute fucking haircut and rock it. I stopped bingeing all together. I attended two music festivals and I was strong enough to endure AND enjoy it. Dude I forgot about /r/proed when for years I spent hours a day on it. This was very real.
It's scaarrrryyyyyy yo. This disease, disorder, whatever is so fucking scary. It creeps in soooooo quietly, so methodically, so quickly. It's like, one thing sparks a memory in your head and all of a sudden there's a huge ED fire swirling around your brain. I have literally been suffocated by the thoughts as if choked by heavy smoke. At first it was a skinny girl in a TV show (Mick on Netlfix...the daughter ugh she's perfect). And I thought to myself, "Oh, just a fucking thinspo bullshit, self-love is so much bigger". Yet that planted a seed in my head and as small things began to go wrong over the next few weeks, I craved that control. It's seriously an irreplaceable sense of control. Right? Like..I know that technically that is a completely OUT OF CONTROL thing to say. But why does nothing feels as good as my eating disorder. It's fucking sick, you know? My family fucking loves me and they NEED me and yet I'm cozy with the idea of restricting myself to a shell? What the actual fuck? I've never gone to a therapist about this eating disorder. Is this an indication I should? I can't dude like. I can't do that. Fuck.
I'm back. I just wanna focus on weight-loss for a hot second. I wanna wake up with a goal and go to bed feeling super high about accomplishing it. I want my big world to be temporarily minimized to the number on the scale. That way if my new job is tough, my grades suffer, or my BF begins to dislike me (paranoia), at least I have that fucking scale. This is madness.
I know this is wrong. I want it though. I hate myself, I feel broken and distorted and SELFISH and immature and sick and greedy for giving into this. YET I SIGH WITH RELIEF AT THE IDEA OF COMING BACK.
I'm scared, you know? This is out of my control now. I tried for a minute to get away and ED was like, "Fuck you you stupid little bitch, you're mine." And I'm too weak to disagree.
[Discussion] Can we talk about period loss for a second?
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 116.6 | 19.1 | -113.4 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Thu Jul 27 21:09:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q143e/can_we_talk_about_period_loss_for_a_second/
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Has your ED impacted your period at all? If so, what was your weight/bmi at the time?
I'm pretty sure I've lost mine, which I didn't think happened at BMIs that weren't underweight. I've also heard that it has more to do with nutrition than anything else so ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Definitely not complaining though lmao
[Discussion] How much does having an eating disorder during puberty really fuck you up?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 20:37:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0y4b/how_much_does_having_an_eating_disorder_during/
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will I always be a 32a?
I'm not that underweight (flair is outdated I'm a few lbs lower) but I've never been above a 19 bmi
basically if i recover will I ever have like a normal adult body? like bone structure wise?
[Help] How do you get yourself out of a binge cycle?
/u/Mrs-Schrute [Gross AF]
Created: Thu Jul 27 20:37:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0y1f/how_do_you_get_yourself_out_of_a_binge_cycle/
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Since Saturday I've been eating 2,000+ calories a day and I just cannot stop no matter what. I've never experienced a prolonged binge like this so I'm really lost and confused and I need some help.
I know we aren't supposed to ask for actual ~pro ana~ tips but even if I could eat at maintenance for a while (around 1400 for me) it would really help. I seriously feel so sick and backed up, I can't keep doing this.
[Discussion] Subtle thinspo wallpapers for phones?
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Thu Jul 27 20:26:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0vz1/subtle_thinspo_wallpapers_for_phones/
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I'm just trying to motivate myself without people wondering why I'm looking at half naked girls.
[Rant/Rave] Having a rough week
/u/toritorichopper [19 5'6 CW:235 SW:260 BMI:37.4 -25 BED]
Created: Thu Jul 27 20:16:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0ue4/having_a_rough_week/
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Long time lurker, first time poster. I started at 260, and am currently sitting at 235. I was celebrating, wearing a pretty dress. My nana comes up and affectionately rubs my tummy, and is like "oh, am I finally getting a new great-grandchild?"
My mom swoops in, and explains that I'm on my period and just bloated.
Not even close. No period, no bloat, just fat. I feel like shit.
[Help] Accupedo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 19:48:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0p96/accupedo/
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[deleted]
[Intro] I've been recovered for years but I think I miss always having a "project"
/u/ayvyns [5'7“ | 130 | 20.4 | -7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 19:40:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0nod/ive_been_recovered_for_years_but_i_think_i_miss/
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I was a binge purger from 17 to 21, I'm 25 now. I've been intuitive eating for the last 4 years. Last week I started counting calories again. At 5'7“ 133lbs I'm at the same weight I was at 19 but I'm not gonna lie, at my height I will never feel small and having broad shoulders in addition makes me feel like a freak sometimes. I like the feeling of being a bit weak during the day and mindful of what I put in my body. I like that dieting puts me in the mindset of only taking a bite or two of stuff I'm not "supposed" to have. I haven't binged so we'll see what happens. The more I think about it the more it seems like I want an escape from things that I can't control in life
[Discussion] DAE forget sometimes that ED most commonly stands for "erectile dysfunction"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 19:35:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0mnm/dae_forget_sometimes_that_ed_most_commonly_stands/
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I was talking to a guy friend online about not eating a lot and he mentioned something vaguely eating disorder related and I was like "wait like ed type stuff?" and he was like "wait what"
[Help] I was trying to say something normal. They don't even know I have an ED. I thought I hid it so well. I'm so high rn. How do I even respond to this? HELP!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 19:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0l3s/i_was_trying_to_say_something_normal_they_dont/
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http://i.imgur.com/H4QVXof.jpg
[Other] last night I ate so much fucking food...
/u/nodamncatnodamncradl [5'10 | 128 LB | 17.91 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 19:17:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0j15/last_night_i_ate_so_much_fucking_food/
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that I went to bed in so much pain and then I was so uncomfortable that my body had me get up to vomit twice (totally involuntary). That's never happened!
[Help] i can't stop eating.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 19:05:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0gsm/i_cant_stop_eating/
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[deleted]
[Intro] [Intro] hey y'all!
/u/skinnierkat [5'3" | SW: 138 lbs | CW: 138 lbs | GW: 120 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 18:50:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0ds5/intro_hey_yall/
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Hi lovelies, I've been lurking for almost a week now and I wanted to officially join because you guys seem like the sweetest and most supportive people ever.
I have been struggling with disordered eating ever since the end of middle school and when I started to get into competitive gymnastics. At first, I didn't know that I was eating enough for the amount of exercise I was doing daily until my doctor told me. I lost a lot of weight and my size 00 jeans were becoming loose on me. This pushed me to restrict my eating. Nobody ever thought I had a problem because I was always small-boned and I was so toned from all the conditioning. Then, I got injured multiple times in a row. I quit gymnastics because the injuries wouldn't stop. Then, I became depressed and would literally eat my feelings away. I couldn't stop eating to the point where I gained about 35 pounds in under a month.
I am still struggling with BED 6 years after. I'm at my heaviest weight right now but I'm honestly surprised that I'm not any heavier with the amount of food I eat. I was at a pretty good weight during the first semester of college but the freshman 15 caught up to me :/ Recently, I've been binging a lot lately (I hate summer) and I can feel the anorexia slowly creeping back. I can't stand constantly thinking about how fat I feel and how much better I would feel if I could just stop compulsively eating food. I wanted to get help for the BED but the people in my life don't think it's a real eating disorder. Anyway sorry for the super long life story/post, I'm just so glad I found a supportive community :)
[Rant/Rave] Just got news about my ex boyfriend.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 18:43:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0cf7/just_got_news_about_my_ex_boyfriend/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Thinspo 728 - Duckie 💜
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | cw - 2fat4me | ugw - 108 | F22]
Created: Thu Jul 27 18:42:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0c8n/thinspo_728_duckie/
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http://imgur.com/a/1eYBr
[Help] This is driving me CRAZY. Any tips?
/u/garbage_spunk
Created: Thu Jul 27 18:31:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q0a4j/this_is_driving_me_crazy_any_tips/
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For the past couple of days, I have had to practice INSANE restriction to not b/p. What do you do to fight that urge? Because my usual isn't working this time around.
[Rant/Rave] Fucking Phony
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Thu Jul 27 17:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q038s/fucking_phony/
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I'm at my lowest weight ever. I gotta lose more but hot damn if I'm not already reaping rewards. Girls are smiling at me. Dudes are smiling at me. Classmates who ignored me are now waving hello. I'm like this very much, but I feel like a phony.
Thanks, Holden.
[Help] munchies help please
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Thu Jul 27 17:48:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6q01f2/munchies_help_please/
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im high and every time ive smoked since like 2015 (3-4 times a week) ive eaten like.. 2000 calories. i usually dont eat the whole day if i know im smoking that day :/. but im determined this time to break this awful cycle today !!! wish me luck
[Help] Hardly any hunger pains or fatigue when heavily restricting?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 115 | 20.4 | -12 | F |]
Created: Thu Jul 27 17:20:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzvjk/hardly_any_hunger_pains_or_fatigue_when_heavily/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Ever heard of "A Hunger Artist"?
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Thu Jul 27 17:20:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzvix/ever_heard_of_a_hunger_artist/
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http://m.sparknotes.com/short-stories/a-hunger-artist/summary.html
[Rant/Rave] Can't stand when my SO points out how much i'm eating
/u/MadamePoppycock [5'4 | 129 lbs | 21.7 | -70 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 17:18:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzv0t/cant_stand_when_my_so_points_out_how_much_im/
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It makes me feel so much embarassment and shock like, yes I know i just ate, and that i'm microwaving something else...
[Rant/Rave] Thinking of getting a NEDA symbol tattoo but would that make it harder to receiver if I ever want to?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Jul 27 16:53:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzptb/thinking_of_getting_a_neda_symbol_tattoo_but/
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NEDA is the National Eating Disorder Association and I was thinking of getting a tattoo of their symbol in a flower or something. But 1) what if I regret the tattoo and 2) what if it makes it even harder to recover because of the constant reminder?
Idk :(
[Help] How can I not binge on these cookies I bought. I'm only 2 lbs away from my 2nd gw. Please help :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 16:48:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzok2/how_can_i_not_binge_on_these_cookies_i_bought_im/
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[removed]
[Other] The urge not to eat was strong, but the habit of eating was there
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Thu Jul 27 16:18:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzhus/the_urge_not_to_eat_was_strong_but_the_habit_of/
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At first the earth of the garden was new and rich with potential. Little seeds lay dormant and ready to grow, but the environmental conditions were adverse.
Two gardeners were excited to lovingly tend the young garden, but they were inexperienced and didn't have a lot of time or resources. The gardeners meant for things to grow, but they made mistakes along the way.
To protect the garden, high walls were erected. The gardeners did not realize they had also blocked out the light.
When seedlings sprouted, they were often weeded by mistake or forced to grow in rigid rows.
And yet, seeds persisted to sprout with vigor. Frustrated by the wildness and persistence of the growth, the gardeners poured pesticides into the earth, attempting to control it.
Eventually, the garden became sick and stunted. For many years, the garden was afraid to reach for the light.
That was a long time ago.
Today, the gardeners are far away.
Today, I am my own gardener, and my earth has begun to heal.
Today, the steady tendril of a seed is reaching through the darkness of the earth, not knowing why or how to grow. The seed only knows there is good earth and water and light and so it must reach.
Eventually, the tendril will be a mighty vine, stretching for the sunlight and climbing up and over the wall. Maybe one day the wall will even crumble down, unable to resist.
I am the earth. My therapists are the water, the information and tools I have learned are nutrients added to the earth, the seed is my new habit of eating even when I feel the urge not to, and the important things in life are the light that the seed is reaching for.
The seed cannot help but grow.
I am my own gardener, and I will heal the garden of my soul.
[Other] How to lose your appetite...
/u/greysgirl720 [5'2" | 141.5 | 25.88 | -38.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 16:17:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzhrm/how_to_lose_your_appetite/
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Read through your old Facebook messages from 7 years ago that you forgot existed about your boyfriend and his crazy ex girlfriend.... still makes me wanna puke 😑 at least I no longer want to eat dinner.
448 calories today. Any low calorie foods I can eat for dinner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 16:08:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzflk/448_calories_today_any_low_calorie_foods_i_can/
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[removed]
[Help] What are your best tips for when you're so hungry you can help it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 16:01:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pze17/what_are_your_best_tips_for_when_youre_so_hungry/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Let's talk about vanity sizing...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 15:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzd34/lets_talk_about_vanity_sizing/
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...In Urban Outfitters I am a size XS.
That is ridiculous.
My bmi is 19.05. That is not XS.
What the hell am I going to do in the future?!?!
[Humor] Best appetite suppressant...
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9.5"| CW: 136 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -44 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 15:48:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzbal/best_appetite_suppressant/
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Getting dumped by your boyfriend.
I've lost not only my appetite, but my will to do anything but lay in bed all day!
Best part is, it's free.
[Tip] Back on track. Hello.
/u/drinkinshamepain
Created: Thu Jul 27 15:47:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pzaz6/back_on_track_hello/
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[removed]
[Goal] I'm wearing size 4 pants and I am ready to die now
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 143.8 | GW 139 | 21.45 | complicated | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 15:42:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pz9w1/im_wearing_size_4_pants_and_i_am_ready_to_die_now/
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I'm 41 and have lived my whole adult life at 175 or greater. Long stretches at 195. That's what I weighed on my wedding day, I think, in 1999. I was told that I was naturally big boned and heavy by my mother, who worked in nutrition at a major hospital.
I've got some DOMS and water retention, plus imminent period, so weight is slightly up. But my size 6s were falling off so here I am in size 4s.
I have not been this size since I was a child!
EAT IT HATERS
[Discussion] Primatene questions...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 15:34:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pz7xt/primatene_questions/
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Hey everyone first time poster, but I have been dealing with ed on and off for years. I used to be 115 and dropping but family caught on to me and I had to raise my weight, but I soo want to get back to that because I feel sick about the weight I gained. Anyway I just got primatene and its my first time taking this, I'm currently on the cigarette monster zero cal or a black coffee diet. Should I start off slow? is it bad if I take it with either? Any tips?
Edit: also how to flair on mobile lol??
[Rant/Rave] Away for like 2 weeks and I honestly don't know how I'm going to deal with this
/u/COOKIE_PRINCESS [4'10" | 🍪 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 15:18:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pz48z/away_for_like_2_weeks_and_i_honestly_dont_know/
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Flair rant/rave please
(TW)
I'm away on holiday with my parents at the moment and it's only my second day and I feel like I'm having a breakdown. I can't restrict, can't purge, can't cut, no safe food. Forced to eat seemingly constantly and at restaurants too. Constant pictures being taken and very limited access to WiFi :(. I'm several timezones away from being able to talk to any of my friends and I have so little privacy so I can't even just sit and panic without my parents wanting to talk about things I just can't. I have a few friends who are actually dealing with huge things right now and I'm really worried about them and their safety and I can't even talk to them or help them.
I just feel like I'm completely trapped in stressful situations away from people who can help and from people who need help and I am worried won't even be there when I get back. No coping mechanisms and I have to try and pretend to be happy and enjoying myself for my parents and because I'm in a really nice place and my parents have spent so much money to be here. I'm here for another 2 weeks and I honestly don't know how I'm going to deal with this I feel so selfish and ungrateful and just in a constant state of panic.
[Tip] If you've been looking for something like a Fitbit, these guys are on sale at target for only $10. I like mine so far.
/u/PmMeNiceGenitals
Created: Thu Jul 27 15:16:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pz3tl/if_youve_been_looking_for_something_like_a_fitbit/
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https://i.redd.it/lzsjqyiob7cz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] not doing too good recently
/u/bovidaes [5'5 | -30 lbs | CGW: 120]
Created: Thu Jul 27 14:40:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pyuys/not_doing_too_good_recently/
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hi guys. sorry for posting so much because i'm sure everyone is annoyed by me by now, but idk i don't really have anywhere else to talk about this kind of stuff.
i've just been doing so badly recently. last time i weighed myself i was..........148. it feels so gross to even write that because so many of you on here are like 90 fucking pounds and i know even you are judging me. i'm so fucking fat and disgusting, unlike all the amazing and beautiful thinspo posted on here. i just feel like a grotesque blob of lard and literally all i can think about 24/7 is how fat and ugly i am.
i don't know. i guess i don't really have a point in writing this. i guess i'm just curious what you guys do when you're in a slump to get motivated/get back on track.
thanks in advance. love you all.
[Discussion] Joined a gym...this. could be really good or really bad.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Jul 27 14:29:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pys9y/joined_a_gymthis_could_be_really_good_or_really/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I joined a gym down the street cause I don't really want to fit I just want to be able to work off or make room for binges.
In the past I would run or use ellipticals and life until I thought I burned enough calories from app estimates and rounding down from estimates. In college I would work out for two hours before class so I could justify eating because I'd theoretically be at a huge deficit.
I feel like working out or exercising is just more acceptable ED behavior. People run a lot then eat a lot or work off big meals. For me it's been am addiction in the past but I feel like binges keep holding me back and that if I work out before work a few days a week and on my days off i can still binge and get to my goal weight in time.
I want to eat my vegan cake and work it off too. Does anyone exercise a lot to make room for binges? I also feel like working out could be a potential punishment I can force myself to do if I think I have slipped or that I have plateaued. I think I can loose 20 pounds this next month..
So that's the plan. To work out almost every day for 1 to 3 hours and work and to work out on days off...
Willow
[Other] I decided to stop tracking calories
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 105 | SW 132 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 14:20:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pyqce/i_decided_to_stop_tracking_calories/
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I've been doing it on and off for a few years now and I'm going to try stopping again. It causes more stress honestly and I also then come up with dumb excuses as to why I'm allowing myself x amount of extra calories and how it "balances out" if I don't eat x amount the next day.
So far it's been going well. I've been doing fairly high restriction/fasting but it's made me more accountable versus before where I was kind of inconsistent. It also helps I've been fairly depressed lately but now I'm getting numb again and it's so nice.
[Help] Never had period cravings this bad before.
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 134| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 14:08:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pyn9n/never_had_period_cravings_this_bad_before/
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It's like all the salty dark chocolate in the world wouldn't be enough to satisfy me. I want to eat all of the kettle chips with all of the sour cream. Literally cannot focus at work because I just want chocolate and salty things. It's so bad that I'm....considering eating at maintenance today (!)....but I know that then I'll bloat and on top of period bloat I'll feel even grosser and disgusted with myself and regret it and spiral soooooo here I am on the internet wishing that I had skipped breakfast and lunch today so that I could give into my cravings for dinner.
[Help] How do I get back on track when I always fail
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 14:00:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pyl6d/how_do_i_get_back_on_track_when_i_always_fail/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Last night was... fun
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Thu Jul 27 13:51:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pyj6f/last_night_was_fun/
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Yesterday was spent binge/purging all day, even at work. On my way home I of course stopped for binge food and immediately purged when I got home. I finally stopped the cycle by aggressively working out for about an hour, and then lay on my couch falling asleep.
I then proceeded to feel like I was dying while staring at the ceiling. Shaky limbs, lightheaded, my heart was fluttering. I stumbled like a drunk person to my kitchen and spend 20 minutes eating a granola bar on my kitchen floor before crawling back to the couch and crying over the 130 calories.
Why can't I be a normal person? 😅
[Rant/Rave] I'm sitting next to a plate of cookies and they smell so good😞
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Thu Jul 27 13:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pyi5h/im_sitting_next_to_a_plate_of_cookies_and_they/
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[removed]
[Other] Some of this weeks submissions to PostSecret really speak to me...
/u/caffeinecunt [5'3|A literal fucking whale| F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 13:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pyb1c/some_of_this_weeks_submissions_to_postsecret/
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https://i.redd.it/ewttfxcuq6cz.jpg
Why can't I stop eating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 12:51:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6py3p1/why_cant_i_stop_eating/
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https://i.redd.it/wf139vmpl6cz.jpg
[Discussion] My mother would have snatched me up so fast.....(rant)
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 12:18:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxvb6/my_mother_would_have_snatched_me_up_so_fastrant/
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https://www.yahoo.com/style/plus-size-ladies-starting-bare-slideshow-wp-170528483.html
[Help] Gaining Weight before losing?
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Thu Jul 27 12:16:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxupv/gaining_weight_before_losing/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I thought I packed the perfect lunch
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Thu Jul 27 12:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxtza/i_thought_i_packed_the_perfect_lunch/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/rave] LOL at me thinking I could recover during a family vacation
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 12:06:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxs28/rantrave_lol_at_me_thinking_i_could_recover/
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I was doing okay on the recovery front for about two weeks but now I'm on a beach holiday with my (stressful)(body-obsessed) family, which includes the one person who is my real-life thinspo. There's too much food, too many body comments, too many people to compare against, too many sights of my legs in a mirror or passing window reflection... so I think I'm switching back to mind restriction (800-1000 a day) for the time being and attempting recovery for real when I get home. I can't be the person my family needs me to be on this trip and work on getting better at the same time. It feels a little bit like a failure but also relieving that I'm giving myself permission to fall back on something that's comfortable and feels safe. So here's my question for you guys: how do you manage restriction while on vacation with family, especially when there's a constant stream of food coming at you?
[Humor] :(
/u/IceInIridian
Created: Thu Jul 27 11:57:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxpsw/_/
---
https://i.redd.it/jemp7fb7c6cz.jpg
Lunch, 328 cal. How long do I need to run to burn this off?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 11:48:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxnfw/lunch_328_cal_how_long_do_i_need_to_run_to_burn/
---
https://i.redd.it/wnppxrmga6cz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I will not eat the candy. I will not eat the candy. I will not eat the candy.
/u/whataboutjam [5'7" | CW 140 | BMI 21.85 | GW 115 | 26F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 11:41:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxlq3/i_will_not_eat_the_candy_i_will_not_eat_the_candy/
---
At work we have literal bowls of candy sitting in the kitchen. There are also a ton of other snacks in the cabinets. When I go through binge phases I will literally eat peanut M&Ms and cookies for breakfast from that cabinet before anyone else arrives at work.
I have been so damn good. Had not had a single piece of candy in over a month. Have only had one binge day in the last three and a half weeks since I started back heavily restricting (and I ended up around maintenance that day). I am down over 11 pounds in the last three and a half weeks. And then today while waiting for my tea to warm up I ate one M&M and a laffy taffy and now all I want is to bring that whole bowl in my office and eat everything.
Fuck me. So I'm going to sit on my ass until this tea is gone and hope this craving goes away.
Edit: I'm now leaving work and did not eat anything else. Win!
[Rant/Rave] I gained 5 pounds this weekend. I'm freaking out.
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Thu Jul 27 11:29:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxiq9/i_gained_5_pounds_this_weekend_im_freaking_out/
---
So I posted 6 days ago about how I was going to the beach with my friends. Well I just got home, weighed myself and I gained 5 FUCKING POUNDS. I'm freaking out. I'm so angry and sad.
I'm trying to believe that some of it is bloat and water weight, I mean I did eat Chicken Minis from Chick fil a and a banana this morning. Hopefully if I restrict today and weigh myself in the morning my weight will be lower.
But I don't really believe that it will because I ate so much shit and drank so much alcohol.
I just want to jump off a bridge. I'm never going to be skinny. Ever.
[Discussion] What is a food most people enjoy but you hate?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 27 11:24:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxhd8/what_is_a_food_most_people_enjoy_but_you_hate/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxhd8/what_is_a_food_most_people_enjoy_but_you_hate/
[Rant/Rave] Being under-tall.
/u/timetofadeaway [5'2 | CW 117 | LW 91 | GW1 110 | UGW 90 | F20]
Created: Thu Jul 27 11:17:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxfqp/being_undertall/
---
While we petite people often huff about our literal shortcomings when it comes to losing weight, I tried to turn the negatives into positives to motivate me more. Here is my silly list of pros of being short and losing weight!
(p.s nothing against the taller kind ;))
1) 1 pound lost on a shortie will be more visible than on our taller counterparts.
2) Isn't it lovely to think 'I only need to lose a measly 30 pounds to become utterly wonderful'.
3) When you can shop in the kids section again for cute cheaper clothes.
4) You can use the excuse that you're short and need less food to get away with restricting.
5) Exercise counts a lot being petite, more motivated to burn every day?
6) being sub 100 pounds is doable quicker.
7) Being sub 100 pounds won't cause an uproar of interventions and you can say 'I'm petite and I have a small frame'.
8) If you're younger you can blame it on puppy fat.
9) It's less noticeable to be underweight and short than underweight and tall.
10) All those model scouts desperately want to hit you up for casting but damn when they see how tiny you are they curse at the skies and walk past. This is the ONLY reason you haven't been spotted yet.
12) In winter a large coat will hide all your flaws.
13) If out in public you can pretend to be a child, get free child portions and save money on that much needed halo top by getting a child fare on the bus or train.
14) Hide all the bad food on the top shelves with a step-ladder, proceed to bin said step-ladder, spend 30 minutes jumping up and down (exercise) to try and reach the bad food.
15) If you feel like a beach ball and a group photo is about to happen hide behind a tall friend and rejoice.
Please feel free to add more :)
[Rant/Rave] The upside to mania...
/u/Fanashit [5'4" | 122.6 | 21.46 | -55lbs | GW 120 | UGW 98 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 11:02:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pxbpx/the_upside_to_mania/
---
I'm caught up in this 'buzz' of restriction again, finally. I've been bingeing for too long and purged a couple times but this manic thing that's going on finally pushed me back into restriction. I know some of it's water weight but I'm down five pounds in about a week and it feels so good. Nevermind the anxiety attacks and insomnia and seducing and fucking my best friend/ex, I'm finally losing again and I hate this mania but I'm going to ride it like the wind.
(All's good with my friend, I explained what's going on and he understood and laughed and hugged me and gave me his therapist's contact info.)
[Discussion] Post b/p reminders and self-care to get back on track after weight gain (real and/or water weight)
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Thu Jul 27 09:47:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pwt2e/post_bp_reminders_and_selfcare_to_get_back_on/
---
Many of us have been there. We have an episode...or hours...or days...of b/p episodes that feel out of control. Then after we finally get a chance to breathe, the aftermath of rapid weight gain (real or water weight) has the potential to send us for a tailspin.
Let's start a thread to share affirmations to find grounding amidst the distress.
I know for me...I am up 4.8 lbs from yesterday's morning weight. I am freaking out but am reminding myself that punishing myself with b/p isn't going to fix anything. I can have a slip and not let it tailspin. I am in control of what happens next. Nothing that happens is un-doable. I can get back on track. I can and have been okay before.
What are some affirmations, techniques or self-care things you do after some particularly hard days?
[Discussion] Vegan Protein powder
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Thu Jul 27 09:43:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pws09/vegan_protein_powder/
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Im thinking about drinking one to two vegan protein shakes a day made with Orgain plant based protein and almond milk. the way I make it totals to about 250-300 cals a shake, and they honestly make me feel fuller than when I eat shit like sugar free jello and popcorn throughout the day. Do any of you do this/have you had any significant weight loss from this?
I also think that it will disguise my ed and looks like im eating more calories in front of my family.
Let me know what you guys think :)
[Rant/Rave] I was told that "BEING BIG SUITED ME"
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Thu Jul 27 09:43:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pwrw3/i_was_told_that_being_big_suited_me/
---
Seriously. It happened the other day and I can't get it off my mind.
I know it was meant as a compliment. But jeez...
[Rant/Rave] How do you do this? Its stressing me out.
/u/singintherein
Created: Thu Jul 27 09:32:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pwp7w/how_do_you_do_this_its_stressing_me_out/
---
Okay, this is a little dramatic but I'm super stressed about it. Yesterday was a major cheat day for me. I went to my aunt's house and ate like a super normal person. (go me!)
She made a really good dinner of shrimp stir-fry. It was shrimp and green beans and yellow beans and an ear of corn and zucchini. It was super good.... Except she put Thai sauce on it... I couldn't look at the bottle because she's super concerned with how much weight I have lost and I suck at doing things secretively.
So then she cornered me and made me bring a bunch of it home.... I'm super excited for it, it's really good and I want to have more of it today... But today is not a cheat day and I have no idea how I would calculate any calories for that sauce on it.... None. It's sweet and sticky and super duper spicy.... So I'm sure it's adding 500 calories every drop.
What do I do? How do I count it? Should I just freeze it a few weeks until I give myself another cheat day? I feel so dramatic I'm sorry.
[Help] I can't even be a human anymore
/u/PizzaInMyUrethra [5'5" | CW: INSANE | GW1: 150 | 24F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 08:38:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pwcgw/i_cant_even_be_a_human_anymore/
---
When I'm not working, all I do is binge, purge or cry.
I don't know how to enjoy myself, everything feels like torture. Even if I had endless money I wouldn't want to do anything.
But I want to do something. I want to have fun and be happy. Not even happy, just OKAY. I just don't know what will make that happen.
I have so many projects and crafty bits to do at home, I can't bring myself to do them. I'm too sad.
Mobile flair: help
My friend is the embodiment of my ED.
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 08:10:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pw5zq/my_friend_is_the_embodiment_of_my_ed/
---
https://i.redd.it/vlsgs7el75cz.jpg
[Humor] Wanna lose your appetite? Depression does the trick!
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Thu Jul 27 07:58:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pw334/wanna_lose_your_appetite_depression_does_the_trick/
---
Forget about cigarettes and black coffee, instead, go through horrible and/or traumatic experiences to become depressed, you'll lose your appetite in no time.
No but for real right now I feel as if though I won't ever eat again. Maybe if I become even more depressed I'll start working out too...haha...ha
I lost more weight so I've got that going for me
[Discussion] What are some non-number on a scale things you're looking forward to? (Future NSVs)
/u/shizu_murasaki [5'5" | CW 116 GW 105| BMI 19.6 | -24 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 07:42:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvzmb/what_are_some_nonnumber_on_a_scale_things_youre/
---
I searched for a thread like this and didn't find anything. What are some things you look forward to that have to do with weight loss that aren't specifically your weight?
For me:
* I want to see my last little bit of fat on my stomach go away
* I want to develop the self-control necessary to fast for longer
* I want visible abs (muscle is there, but can't see them yet)
* I don't want my thighs to jiggle when I walk
[Help] this is just a bit annoying tbh lads, please may i have some advice? (cw: recovery)
/u/Rhyanon [Who needs reasons when you have an ED?]
Created: Thu Jul 27 07:39:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvz2h/this_is_just_a_bit_annoying_tbh_lads_please_may_i/
---
so after reaching a super low point i decided i had to change my life if I didn't want my various mh issues to consume me and fuck my academic career. Long story short, after a marathon journaling session, a bit of acid, a run and some human contact I was in a headspace where I felt like i could have a go at trying to retrain my habits, ED and otherwise. Regardless of my anxieties and insecurities, I had a metric fuck-tonne of endorphins in my brain and that improved my mood whether I wanted to feel better or not.
BUT, I physically can't get the food down? Months of intermittent fasting coupled with ADHD meds means that I just don't get hungry during the day at all, and like today I'm revising on campus, and when I get back late at night im skyping the bf so i literally wont have time for food and probs still wont be hungry.
and yesterday I forced myself not to calorie count and just to eat to satiety but at the end of the day i ball park totaled it in my head (mainly bc i was surprised at how little I ate) and I barely scraped 700 if i'm lucky. Like ED thoughts (I don't think?) arent dictating this, this is just down to my lack of hunger?
How am I supposed to recover if I don't eat anything because I'm never hungry lmao? My ED behaviour normally most closely resembles bulimia non-purging subtype, so idk does anyone have any advice?
[Discussion] DAE have a trigger place?
/u/TemporaryAccount_101 [5'3'' | AHAHAH | -5.5kgs | 18F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 07:20:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvv21/dae_have_a_trigger_place/
---
I've noticed that in the house where I developed my anorexia I can not eat for an entire day or eat little, but as soon as I go back to the place where my BED developed I just can't stop myself from binging.
It's very frustrating because I'm trying to beat my binge eating, and staying in this house feels triggering in a way.
[Discussion] DAE calorie count on Instagram?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 06:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvnav/dae_calorie_count_on_instagram/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] |Rant| Scale inconsistencies
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Thu Jul 27 06:21:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvjrt/rant_scale_inconsistencies/
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I've gotten into the habit of weighing myself on both my and my sister's scale in the morning when she's not around.
Usually the readings are only off by an ounce or two, but today her scale has me consistently at 111.6 while mine put me at 112.2?? I made sure that both were as level as could be and recalibrated multiple times.
Do I average it out and say I'm 111.8? Is there some voodoo magic going on that makes me gain a pound from room to room? I'm vexed by it since I'm SO close to my second GW and just want to get there already.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support July 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 27 06:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvhvj/weekly_emotional_support_july_27_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 27 06:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvhtm/daily_food_diary_july_27_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 27, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Best diet pills?
/u/fatbatch
Created: Thu Jul 27 05:44:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pvdh0/best_diet_pills/
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[removed]
[Other] Thanks familia
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 03:34:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6puufs/thanks_familia/
---
Parents actions and their consequences
https://imgur.com/gallery/mBBJc
👏👏 if your parents helped get you here.
Thanks for the constant beatings and berating.
[Humor] Shout out to those whose sleep is interrupted by hunger pangs
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Thu Jul 27 02:59:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pupqb/shout_out_to_those_whose_sleep_is_interrupted_by/
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Figured I'm not alone. These damn things dont want to be sated by anything, diet soda, a few crackers, nope not good enough. *sigh* at least i got youtube to keep my mind off of this
[Rant/Rave] DAE think they've "~~~recovered" until your jeans don't fit and then you go full 100000% into ED behavior? My stupid ass jeans are always my trigger?
/u/59poisonandwine [5'3" | 21F | CW: 115 | GW: 92 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 27 02:52:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6puoth/dae_think_theyve_recovered_until_your_jeans_dont/
---
I have an ass load of skinny jeans. I'm talking "skinny" jeans, like jeans that barely fit me at my lowest weight. Aeropostale 000, Abercrombie 14 and 16 in childrens, Delias 00, the works. Punishment jeans. I have to cover myself in oil and say a few hail Mary's to get them over my thighs at a BMI of 17. If i can't get them over my thighs, we've got a problem. Then I have my "thin" jeans, Hollister and American Eagle 00s, 0s, and 1s. If I can fit in these still, I'm skinny and it's okay even if it takes some work. Until it's not okay and they're a little tight/barely fit. Sure, I can do the hair tie trick or just not breathe, but I'm aware that I've outfatted them. It only takes a few lbs to make these jeans not fit right. It ends up ruining my life. I have the one pair of jeans I allowed myself to buy that are Target jeggings size 0, that fit. I'm fine if I fit in these other stupid jeans. I don't even wear jeans anyway; I wear leggings or dresses. But when all the fits me is the Target 0, I want to die. Like what stupid ass first world problems are these?! "Oh yeah I'm a 22 y/o women, the children's and junior's size 00000 jeans don't fit me and I fit perfectly into a women's size 0, woe is me.". Cry me a fucking river. I hate myself and this is the stupidest shit ever. On one hands I know buying size 2s is totally fine and I'm a stupid bitch. On the other hand.....
OFC the Aero 000 jeans don't fit me I'm nearly 120 lbs and 5'3" but maybe if I keep 15 pairs in my closet and cry every night and try to fast and fail and try to purge and fail and drink too much, maybe they will fit. DAE have upwards of 10 "skinny" jeans that stick around to serve as a reminder of how much of a failure you are?
[Rant/Rave] I will never be free
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 27 02:45:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6punur/i_will_never_be_free/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Joining a gym and how I can't really taste food anymore.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jul 26 23:44:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ptyuk/joining_a_gym_and_how_i_cant_really_taste_food/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
So this is a post kind of expressing two thought a I didn't want to do two separate posts so it's kind of a rant rave on two things and everything else on my mind.
I binged again. This makes day three and i am going to stop it and try just restricting and going to the gym I am trying to join.
I found a gym in my neighborhood (LA fitness for those wondering) and I am going to tour the facility tomorrow and potentially join if I like the place. It would be a bit of a financial hit now but I feel like I really need a gym. At least before work and on my days off. I feel like it could also help me work off binges if they happen and gives me some thing to do.
I just hope that if I join I can commit. I feel like if I work out before work a few days a week I can hit my goal in a timely manner. Also I can burn what I burn in four hours of walking in a couple hours of running and also lift to tone too.
In the past I have lost weight working out and it's helped me offset my binges. It has the potential to become an addiction like in the past but I feel like things could be worst.
Another thing is that during my binge earlier I noticed after a certain point I couldn't really taste the food. It tasted branded even the sweets werent as sweet as they had been may be my taste buds just getting bored. I don't know.
So that's my life.
How's everyone else's ones night?
Willow
[Help] Tips for increasing weight at doctor's office?
/u/Silencemenow [5'4 | CW 120 | 20.6 | gw 100 | ugw 95 F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 22:54:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ptr0i/tips_for_increasing_weight_at_doctors_office/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] bless trader joes
/u/cestvraiduh
Created: Wed Jul 26 21:54:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ptgv8/bless_trader_joes/
---
i felt sure i was going to binge today all day but i spent an hour eating one of these trader joes goat cheese medallions (70 cals) and i feel so full. I love goat cheese! It takes me forever to eat and it is so filling! I totally avoided a binge.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/a8/c2/7c/a8c27c19c0671d87ed33289bdf4ca972.jpg
[Help] Does anyone else struggle with sagging breasts?
/u/throwback1997
Created: Wed Jul 26 21:24:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ptbk9/does_anyone_else_struggle_with_sagging_breasts/
---
I used to be overweight when I was young and developed large DD breasts very early on. I lost a good 50 pounds and now they can be commonly described as deflated balloons. They are pendulous and small and thin. I feel like less than a woman. I'm afraid to have sex for fear of rejection or ridicule. My dad saw me yesterday without a bra on and I saw him look at my chest and make a gross face.
I feel like I'll never be able to be intimate with anyone or love my body ever again. So what's the point of living?
[Help] Weight gain and medications? [help]
/u/sighsless [5'6 | CW:128.4 | 20.81 | idk]
Created: Wed Jul 26 20:59:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pt6tx/weight_gain_and_medications_help/
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I know there's Stupid Question Saturday, but this question is burning in my mind now! Started a new med and read that one of the side effects is weight gain. How does this usually happen? Does it mean it might make me more hungry and if I act on that hunger I will gain weight? Or will it effect my TDEE somehow? If you've experienced weight gain side effects from a medication, how did it happen?
[Discussion] Workouts
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 20:37:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pt2q9/workouts/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Going into a tailspin.
/u/chameleon_souls
Created: Wed Jul 26 20:34:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pt23t/going_into_a_tailspin/
---
Edit: How do you add flair?
My life has been chaotic recently and I've reverted back to old ED habits.
Just for context. I'm 30. I was bulimic from ages 12-22/23 and after that I've had periodic b/p and binge/restrict episodes.
My appetite is low due to depression but my energy is trough the roof due to anxiety. I can force myself to eat, but choose not to. I run twice a day and go to cross fit daily. I've gone from 51 to 48 kg in a week and all I want is to keep on going until I reach 45 then 42 and eventually 40 (BMI of perfect 16). I feel like I still have some control of the situation, but I'll lose it pretty soon (if I haven't already lost it).
I'm in an outpatient treatment program for my BPD and they also have an ED track. If I tell my therapist about my struggles I can get help right away. But I don't want to. I realize how insanely privileged my situation is. But all I want is a BMI of 16.
Fuck me and my fucked up brain.
[Help] How do you know how many cals you burned?
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Wed Jul 26 20:26:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pt0po/how_do_you_know_how_many_cals_you_burned/
---
On mobile please flair as question :)
How do you know how many caps you've burned? Like in everyday life and a workout. Also do you guys subtract that from how many you've eaten and then eat towards your goal? Sorry if that last question didn't make sense I couldn't think of how to word it.
[Rant/Rave] Ate way to many mashed potatoes
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Wed Jul 26 20:23:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pt01g/ate_way_to_many_mashed_potatoes/
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So I am restricting today and I was setting my goal around 400-500ish. I had dinner with my dad and there were mashed potatoes which I love bad had no clue they had so many calories! I ate like 225 in mashed potatoes with I think is underestimating. So now I'm at like 580. I'm also wondering if since I feel like I underestimated if I should round up to 600? I just got back from dance and am hungry though! Ugh, why did I eat so many mashed potatoes?!
Slowly falling into patterns
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 20:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6psyoz/slowly_falling_into_patterns/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Need tips
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 19:56:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6psurz/need_tips/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fingers look fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 19:44:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pssfe/fingers_look_fat/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Clean B/P
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Wed Jul 26 19:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pssep/clean_bp/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've decided to reinvent myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 19:44:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pssad/ive_decided_to_reinvent_myself/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My dad made a joke about purging
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Wed Jul 26 19:44:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pssa3/my_dad_made_a_joke_about_purging/
---
When my dad came home from work he did the whole "I wanna spend time with you" thing and I've been b/p multiple times today so I figured I could get ice cream with him, it would be easy to purge. So we're sitting on a bench and he just finished his pistachio ice cream and I'm just finishing my large 3 scoop bowl. He's asking what we should do now and then suggests jokingly that we "throw up all our ice cream so we can have room to go get some more." then preceded to talk about how his would be all green or maybe have some of his sandwich from lunch. Idk I know he has a weird sense of humor but because I had literally done what he was joking about 5 times at that point in the day. For a split second I was scared but then I just felt numb. Not sure why this bothered me so much but there was no one I could share this with.
[Help] IS COKE ZERO REALLY GOING AWAY???!!!!????
/u/throwaway8274859
Created: Wed Jul 26 19:17:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6psn5r/is_coke_zero_really_going_away/
---
I'm having a panic attack.
[Discussion] describe your appearance objectively!
/u/kittencow
Created: Wed Jul 26 18:49:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pshot/describe_your_appearance_objectively/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pshot/describe_your_appearance_objectively/
[Help] How to reduce bloating really fast?
/u/Newthrowyaccount [5'2 | CW: 120? | CGW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 18:37:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6psf3n/how_to_reduce_bloating_really_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] That moment you're so upset your appetite is gone
/u/RemtheCat
Created: Wed Jul 26 18:21:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6psc0i/that_moment_youre_so_upset_your_appetite_is_gone/
---
##lookingonthebrightside
Two of my friends haven't talked to me for weeks (or days, but it feels like weeks) and I know at least one is on purpose. 😭 I just don't know what I did. I may be a needy whiner but why can't they just say to shove it and change the subject?? I'm just so sad rn. 😞 But at least for once in my life being upset made my appetite go away. And then I feel awful for being glad I'm upset. Anyone feel?
[Rant/Rave] guess who binged
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 18:17:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6psb57/guess_who_binged/
---
i thought i had it all under control but then my teachers gave us hours upon hours of lecturing on why we shouldnt fuck up on our SATs and therefore our futures :)
i probably had 4000 calories already. pecans. almonds. so much bread. so much cookies. fuck. hazelnut milk.
exam is tomorrow and im most likely going to be a bloated anxious mess because of this. ive never purged but let me tell you! this fuxking distended stomach is not making that any easier!!! im going to be a bloated fucking mess tomorrow and FAIL EVERYTHING!!!
i knew i shoulve just gone to sleep instead of listening to my hunger. i knew i was going to give in to my anxiety like a disgusting mess. i knew it.
tomorrows fast day. i swear if i eat more than 200 calories ill hurt myself. i cant keep doing this.
[Help] Lost my motivation
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 18:12:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6psa1k/lost_my_motivation/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Slowly slipping back into Anorexia
/u/kwhateverrbye
Created: Wed Jul 26 17:44:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ps49q/slowly_slipping_back_into_anorexia/
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I had anorexia and bulimia from about ages 12-16. Had a lot of family drama going on then. Too much to go into here. I got better for about 10 years (I'm 26 now.) But after my birth control caused significant weight gain, I went on a diet. I'm back to my ideal weight, but now I just want to keep dieting anyway. I see myself slipping back into old habits, it probably doesn't help that I work in an industry obsessed with looks. I know I should quit while I'm ahead, but i kinda miss it in a weird way.
[Discussion] Nausea when hungry...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 17:25:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ps03y/nausea_when_hungry/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I wish non-ED people could comprehend how much the sight of my own body can make me miserable. Bonus toxic family rant. [long]
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 17:03:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6prvm5/i_wish_noned_people_could_comprehend_how_much_the/
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I've avoided pictures for years. Even before an ED. And I still don't wish I had some from when I was a kid or whatever. I simply don't care and have always hated them.
This past week, I've have more pictures of myself taken than I have in the last year total. And it's killing me. I'm not seeing memories being captured or anything like that. I see a big blob of wrongness.
I'm sitting in the car wanting to cry because I saw all the pictures of me recently. It sounds so stupid when put that way. But my family is in their tent (we're camping) and they're mad at me because I'm "not enjoying the time". I'm an introverted person and this is the most time I've spent together with my family. 2 weeks in the car is a lot of me especially after living on my own. Zero privacy.
Anyhow, I can't tell them what's wrong. They just call me moody and pissy and a drag. I'm enjoying the trip and everything until we stop for pictures or I see a camera come out. I don't care if strangers or the goats or fields or ocean see my fat face, but fuck the cameras.
The best way I can say "I'm trying not to cry because I just saw a picture you took of me from the back 3 weeks ago and it ruined my whole day and reminded me of my failures" is "I have headache or that I don't feel well."
I just want to be around people who understand for a minute and leave me alone.
----
Bonus rant.
My family feels toxic to me and I can't pinpoint why. I'm not happy around them. We do laugh and have jokes and have fun, but it feels like I'm being gaslighted by them or something. Like I'm always in the wrong. They say I'm moody or pissy or that I micromanage my little brother, but zero other people in my life would ever describe me that way. If feels like double standards. If they are upset, they've had a long day or have low blood sugar or whatever. But if I'm upset, it's moody or self-centered. Things like that.
I think this trip is a push I needed. I'm miserable and want to go away from them, but I'm with them this summer until I find a job and place to live.
----
I just want to fast. All the food I've had to eat is causing me so much stress and anxiety. I will most like cry myself to sleep and it sounds so stupidly dramatic. But I want to fast. I feel disgusting and it's hell in my head right now.
TL;DR: I hate food, I hate pictures, I'm a wreck, I need to be on my own again.
[Other] Just your average weekly shop... (I like to play with my food)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 16:48:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6prsiu/just_your_average_weekly_shop_i_like_to_play_with/
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https://i.redd.it/m48cg3d6n0cz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Smoke weed to feel better, end up binging, hate myself and feel worse: a cycle
/u/prettyybabyyprincess
Created: Wed Jul 26 16:45:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6prrv0/smoke_weed_to_feel_better_end_up_binging_hate/
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fuCK MY LIFE omg
Used to be so good at restricting, then I became a little bit of a stoner to keep me sane in a horrible abusive relationship.
I am GOLDEN until I smoke weed around dinner time. Then I eat until I literally cannot move or hate myself so much that I puke, then I smoke more after I puke/clean up, then I eat more because I smoked more weed.
what. the fuck. do I do. No matter how much I hate myself after a binge, I fucking do it again, almost every night.
Not smoking is not an option, I know it sounds dramatic but if I am not stoned in the evening I fall into this horrible state of upset then I'm like wanting to die because I'm not distracted by daily activities/ keeping busy.
It's like all my impulse control goes out the door when I smoke weed, but I have never felt better when I do, but then I get burnt out/guilty/sad so I puke/smoke more to feel less guilty or sad then I just DO IT AGAIN.
Tonight I plan on restricting HARD but still getting super baked. Just will practice some sheer, self torturing will power.
Sorry for the horrible rant. Just had to share my frustration with people who understand
[Discussion] DAE just not care about eating healthy anymore?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 16:29:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pro4w/dae_just_not_care_about_eating_healthy_anymore/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else have weird ways to control appetite?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Wed Jul 26 15:38:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6prc86/does_anyone_else_have_weird_ways_to_control/
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For one, I wear those super tight VSX sports bras (they fit, they just shrank because my bf threw them into the dryer by accident a couple times), and I'm not necessarily uncomfortable but they're definitely tight. I feel like this helps me control appetite somewhat, because a little food can make me feel super bloated in contrast to this bra. idk, I think it's a little odd. Does anyone else have weird little quirks like this?
[Help] Uh Oh Friend's House
/u/terebee [5'7 | 111.6 | 17.5 | GW: 95 | M]
Created: Wed Jul 26 15:36:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6prbli/uh_oh_friends_house/
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[removed]
[Discussion] When is your biggest binge risk?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Jul 26 15:19:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pr7sl/when_is_your_biggest_binge_risk/
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For me it's after work. I've decided to just not eat dinner anymore. If I don't start, I don't have to worry about stopping
[Rant/Rave] Such a crappy day I feel horrible
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Wed Jul 26 14:40:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqyb7/such_a_crappy_day_i_feel_horrible/
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Today was my first day off work in a while and I pretty much spent the whole day binging on different things than purging them. I kept telling myself it was the last one for the day and that I wouldn't eat for the rest of the day, but I kept messing up and making stupid compromises with myself. I had some weird things with an entire can of whipped cream ugh. I eat more than I can help myself at work because it serves food so I was originally planning to fast all day today. My longest fast was 38 hours but that was before I was working nearly every day. All I can do is just keep drinking water and try again Friday. I've been so bad at my usual restriction limit lately I hate it so much, I was doing kinda well just a few weeks ago. I'm so pissed off at myself and I feel like being even more self-destructive but I haven't self-harmed in over a month. I'm trying so hard to not be depressed and most days I've been doing well with my new meds. Although on days where I don't work I feel shitty about the number of calories I burn and I just generally feel useless. What can I do at home to burn the most calories? I think I'll run up and down my stairs for as long as I can after I post this. fuck I wish I could just go back to this morning and be better.
[Discussion] Intermittent Fasting
/u/Livinglifelite
Created: Wed Jul 26 14:39:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqy5u/intermittent_fasting/
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If you practice intermittent fasting, which eating pattern do you follow? How has fasting improved your life?
[Rant/Rave] The fat twin
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Wed Jul 26 14:20:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqtgp/the_fat_twin/
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Warning this is gonna be a big messy, probably boring rant.
Ok so I am a fraternal twin (female) and for many of you people out there with disordered eating or a twin you can probably relate because I was heavily heavily compared to her, even as a young child that was hardly distinguishable from her.
This does not just include weight, this also includes academics, friends/outgoing-ness, success, etc. if you're not a twin, I hate to say it but you can never understand the whole other level of competition and destructiveness via comparison. It's probs even worse for identical twins.
My twin was always skinny, smart, friendly, bubbly, and every other good trait. I was always fat (my highest was ~200lbs in the eighth grade, roughly age 14), unfriendly, unloveable, shy, not the brightest, lazy, and all the other unfavorable traits.
It seriously pissed me off whenever someone would be like "HER?! *She's* your twin?? But she's.... skinny and beautiful..." I vividly remember going to camp with my twin and having a group of kids and counselors surround my twin, with me sitting a few benches away (by myself looking pitiful) and hearing them go "no way you're a twin, who is she??" And my twin point in my direction. Everyone at the table looked puzzled and searched for some blonde skinny chick that looked roughly like my twin but the only person there was me, so one of them said, "The fat, ugly, loner chick?" And my twin replies, "Haha yeah, I tell her to lay off the Doritos," or something along those lines, and everyone busts up laughing.
In school, the popular girls literally used to use me as the DUFF (designated ugly fat friend, for those of you who don't know) which they also did to a boy with Down syndrome. They would basically make me be their slave so that I could have an illusion in my mind that I had friends. They'd even convince me one of the popular boys had a crush on me so I'd ask him on a date, have him show his utter disgust, and publicly humiliate myself.
Like I said this was going to be messy, and looking back it's just me complaining, but oh well. Also I most likely will edit in the future as I remember traumatic and frustrating things that have happened to me that I need to vent about.
[Help] Uggggghhhhh
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 26 14:06:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqpyd/uggggghhhhh/
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Anyone else get nauseated when restricting? I'm finally ingesting my first thing today, iced coffee, and I was doing okay until now I'm getting nauseated which happens when I'm hungry but don't eat. I can practically taste the Mac and cheese I'm craving from next door, but I'm not going to cave because that's a solid ~1200 calories and fuck that. Also my coworker just came through the door with pizza. Kill me.
[Help] Light-headedness
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 13:50:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqlws/lightheadedness/
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I would bet a lot of money on the fact that I am not the only person here who gets frequently light-headed / faints. So, any tips for reducing this? Or dealing with it better?
I can generally tell when I'm about to keel over (tunnel vision, etc.), and I immediately kneel down and put my head between my legs. However, this is not the most dignified thing to do mid-meeting at work...
[Humor] Best part of working in a lab?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 13:33:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqhom/best_part_of_working_in_a_lab/
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[removed]
[Discussion] What do you guys do?
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Wed Jul 26 13:25:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqfl8/what_do_you_guys_do/
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I feel like lots of people here are students in college, high school, moms, idk.
Aside from spending way too long on this sub I am a nurse. So..what do you all do? What is your life apart from this ED life, this sub, Tumblr, etc?
Also how are you people spending so much time on here?? This place updates like crazy every day
[Discussion] What do you imagine life will be like at your GW?
/u/slimesprinkle [5'2" | 88lbs | 16.7 | ?? | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 13:24:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pqfk8/what_do_you_imagine_life_will_be_like_at_your_gw/
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Basically just wanted to get a discussion going on what people think the rest of their lives will be like at their GW, in an idealized way.
I feel like I'll be an entirely new person, I'm planning to get my hair done, I'm building up a new wardrobe that I'll unveil when I'm thin enough, I'll be the kind of person who uses a planner and is extremely organized, I'll have a proper skincare routine that I'll religiously follow, I'll act more professional and sociable at work, I even plan to remodel my apartment.
I see 'GW me' as a separate person from current me, and I plan to make over my entire life accordingly. Does anyone else feel like this?
[Rant/Rave] Announcement or my UK people; QUARK CHEESE
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 12:46:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pq61g/announcement_or_my_uk_people_quark_cheese/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm not okay right now. Rant.
/u/Endogirl823
Created: Wed Jul 26 12:33:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pq2ux/im_not_okay_right_now_rant/
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I'm on mobile so I don't know how to tag this. I've been on a really bad b/p session that feels never ending. I know I've gained weight but I didn't know how much until today. I went in for an obgyn appointment and a lady asked me when I was due. So I was already on the brink of tears before stepping on the scale. I got on the scale and my BMI is 25.02. I'm overweight. I had a full on panic attack in the doctor's office. I can't stop crying. I feel like I'm worthless and a failure for letting myself get this large. I don't look or feel human. You're the only ones who understand why this bothers me so much. I can't handle this.
[Help] The In Between
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Wed Jul 26 12:26:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pq17y/the_in_between/
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I have no idea what to do. One day of 250 and I feel like I can't handle it. If I go back up to 500 even, I'm behind schedule. I'll never make it to my ultimate goal weight unless I'm somehow carrying 5 pounds of water in my short body.
I feel discouraged and hungry and like giving up. I miss recovery in some ways. But then there's the part of me screaming that I'm a failure for wanting to give in when this is only for another month. I'm weak and the treatment team won't take me seriously. I can't show how bad it is without losing weight, it tells me.
I want them to show concern that I'm seriously not okay when I step on their scale in August but I can't do that if I'm not measuring and counting food. My middle ground is to just readjust expectations and shoot for my original goal. I can get there by upping intake but still restrict.
That's the compromise in my head but it feels scary, like I'll binge and all progress is erased. I've really gotten myself stuck badly this time. I don't know what to think or do. I just need someone to tell me what is next. HALP
[Humor] I envy my dog😂
/u/schoolgirlqt [5'6.5" |118lbs| BMI:18.8 |21F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 12:16:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ppyos/i_envy_my_dog/
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Her diet has perfect macros, no added junk and is always the same. She never overeats, and will forget about her food. She eats it for energy and enjoys a treat now and then. She is extremely lean and has a gorgeous coat and lots of energy. She has perfect bm's twice a day. Lol😭
[Help] Should I avoid carbs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 12:03:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ppve1/should_i_avoid_carbs/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Activity Trackers?
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Wed Jul 26 11:56:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pptrg/activity_trackers/
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Sorry no flair because I'm in mobile!
Does anyone use a FitBit or similar tracker? Does it help track your BMR/TDEE? Is it accurate? What type of tracker do you recommend?
[Help] TW: Suicide
/u/shestryintogetbetter
Created: Wed Jul 26 11:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ppsxj/tw_suicide/
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~throwaway account for obvious reasons~
tl;dr: I attempted suicide two days ago and I survived. Now I'm just looking for advice on how to feel better and learn how to be happy and independent outside of my relationship.
I don't know why exactly I'm posting this. I guess because I know a lot of you have been where I've been now, before (or even currently)...I guess I just need words of encouragement or to find some light.
I have struggled with depression, suicidal tendencies, and anorexia for a really, really long time. Alcohol has pretty much always brought out the worst in me and I recently made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let myself get very drunk anymore because of that.
Well I've recently been job searching and keep just clearly failing every interview I've had. I haven't had a steady flow of income in a long time and the one career I want just obviously isn't right for me considering I can't nail one damn interview. I'm afraid it's because I'm extremely underweight and people can tell I have problems. I don't know.
So, Sunday, I had this amazing interview for this perfect job that I was sure I was going to do well in. So I decided that on Monday I'd go out with my friend and celebrate and drink. As we were out, I got the call I didn't get the job and that really spiraled me down. I started fighting with my boyfriend via text, I brought up random other struggles that I wasn't even thinking about at the time (recently had an abortion and other really difficult things that have gone on) and basically pushed him to his breaking point. I thought we were done.
So I got home, drank more, snuck my stash of Xanax while my friend used the bathroom. Blacked out at some point and woke up to her gone and me alone. I, then, took all my oxy and drank more and woke up again around 11pm and called my boyfriend crying letting him know I tried to kill myself and then blacked out again.
Two days ago I drank a ton of alcohol, popped my stash of xanax and oxy, and laid in my bed and waited. Instead of waking up to whatever comes after we die, I woke up to my boyfriend holding me asleep. There has never been a better feeling than turning over to see his face there and knowing I was safe.
He didn't leave me after this, for whatever fucking reason because I was a complete bitch when we had originally been fighting. I keep rereading the messages, which I literally do not remember typing the majority of them, and hate myself more for it. He says the only thing that can ruin us now is if I keep letting what happened destroy us but I don't know how to move on. I feel so fucking terrible.
I guess what I'm asking is...how do I rebuild myself from this? How do I show him I can be better and be a person worth loving? I don't want to let what I did eat me alive but I just feel empty and feel everything all at the same time. I don't want to just be good enough for him, I want to be good enough for me. I want to learn to live without him, but I also never, ever want to. I never want to live without him by my side and I'm pretty sure if I can't figure out how to make myself better, I'm going to have to lose him. Please help me.
[Rant/Rave] Post binge plan.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jul 26 11:25:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pplv1/post_binge_plan/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
Posting just to have it somewhere and if anyone wants to comment or tell me I'm loony.
Two days ago I broke a five day fast and binged on 2200 calories or so which would have been maintainence for the day I feel like because I am moderately active and a 5'9" male which puts my BMR at 1500 or something and I walked at least 1500 or so according to two different step tracking apps.
Yesterday I binged really bad and didn't even think to count. I lost track at about 3000 or so and I think that may definitely result in gain. I don't know though I walked a bit yesterday about 700 to 1000 plus whatever my BMR would be so maybe 2500 calories and my binge could have been 3000 to 5000...
I know it's dumb but I am going to fast the rest of the week until Sunday and hope that the bloat goes down..then try to break the with a day of cleaner eating and stay under 1000 calories..closer to 500
I figured out I could eat like a pound of steamed veggies with a tiny bit of sauce and be under 500 so that may be my post fast meal.
So this is my plan.
Willow.
[Discussion] Interesting thread about batch vs. continuous digestion in another sub! I've wondered this same thing for a while, and was hoping it would be batch to boost my poops 😂
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 11:25:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pplpn/interesting_thread_about_batch_vs_continuous/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comments/6pl5wr/does_the_human_stomach_digest_food_as_a_batch/?st=J5LA3GKK&sh=333664fe
[Rant/Rave] i'm starting the fuck over/unsatisfying binges?
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 10:56:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ppe5j/im_starting_the_fuck_overunsatisfying_binges/
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i was doing so well.
butttttt last night i had a stupid emotional breakdown and ate everything in my kitchen and gained 9 pound overnight (i know its food/water weight mostly BUT STILL) and the worst part of it all is that i still want to binge. like i feel unsatisfied by it like i didn't properly eat enough so i should go to wendy's and eat more? does that make any sense?
but i'm not going to. i got coffee and water and powerade zero and weed and a good netflix show to watch after work i'm gucci.
[Rant/Rave] Two brothers
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jul 26 10:37:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pp9er/two_brothers/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
My younger brother of 5 years has always been athletic and on the slim side and naturally just doesn't gain weight. He was underweight for most of his life until his late teens.
This morning he was going to drop me off at an apartment and we stopped by a store on the way there.
What he bought: two cliff bars, a banana and two bagels one blueberry the other geese.
What i bought: a diet coke.
He expressed some concerned about me having a lot of caffeine for breakfast and I just said I need it and I'll eat later..
It's sad kind of how different we are and how disordered I feel next to someone considered normal.
I don't know how he or anyone does it.
[Goal] I hit my first goal today and if I can, so can you!!
/u/ReapHappiness [5'7" | 151.5 | 23.7 | 13.4lbs lost | GW1: 147lbs | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:55:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6poz2s/i_hit_my_first_goal_today_and_if_i_can_so_can_you/
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I quit recovery in the beginning of July because I felt like I had gained enough to be healthy again ( at the end of recovery I was 159 lbs) and now I am at 149 lbs!!! It's not the most and I still need to lose more, but I'm very proud and wanted to share with you guys (о´∀`о) tell me what your goals for this month are!♥️
[Other] Friendly reminder to flair yourself!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:53:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6poynt/friendly_reminder_to_flair_yourself/
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[removed]
[Help] less calories in leftover rice??? anyone know if this is real?
/u/fiascofiesta [5'7" | 123.4 | 19.26 | 22F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:42:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6povym/less_calories_in_leftover_rice_anyone_know_if/
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https://i.redd.it/a1yybzs6jybz.jpg
[Humor] At this point we should just put "The best ways to relieve headaches from restricting" in the side bar.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:31:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pot30/at_this_point_we_should_just_put_the_best_ways_to/
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BTW it usually comes down to electrolytes/salt.
[Other] EC Stack warning!!!
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:29:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6posim/ec_stack_warning/
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Just a warning that Primatene will make you fail a drug test and test positive for Methamphetamine. Definitely wanna mention it if you're going to be tested! I didn't think about it and almost got sent to jail from my probation office (-:
[Humor] At this point we should just put "The best ways to relieve headaches from restricting" in the side bar.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:28:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6poshf/at_this_point_we_should_just_put_the_best_ways_to/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i feel so defeated
/u/psychardelic
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6porwj/i_feel_so_defeated/
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so much has happened in my life recently and it's all just overwhelming me. i'm so exhausted having to deal with classes in the day and work at night, i barely even have time for revision.
i threw a tantrum at my boyfriend earlier on when all he did was to put me on hold while he talked to his friends. and i absolutely. lost. it. i've been so grumpy towards him recently (he's at fault for some) but i'm honestly just blowing things out of proportion. everything feels like it hurts 100x more. to add on, my ed is back in full fucking blast and i've been binging literally non-stop the past few weeks. i feel like utter crap.
finally reached my peak and brought out my razor blades - something i haven't done in over a year. i feel so defeated. i don't know how i'm going to explain these new scars to my boyfriend when i see him.
(sorry if this is barely related to the sub)
[Help] They're booking me a doctor's appointment
/u/yeshanna [4'7 | CW 125 | GW 88 | UGW 70 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:24:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pordy/theyre_booking_me_a_doctors_appointment/
---
I've moved back home after uni for the summer which means being around my family 24/7 and it's obviously been so much more difficult hiding everything.
I've been home for 2 months now and the small comments reminding me to eat and them buying food for me have now turned into them monitoring how much I eat at dinner. For the most part I prepare all my meals but my parents have made it a rule to have dinner together every night and they always share a look when I tell them I'm full and leave early.
This all blew up last night when I told them I was full and my mum got so upset and my dad was like take 5 more bites and I physically couldn't. Probably one of the worst moments ever to literally choke but idk if anyone else gets this but I have difficulty swallowing even if I want to, my throat physically closes up and I can't swallow anything. This happened last night and when I tried to eat, they could see that I couldn't swallow it and I think the situation made it worse as I kept trying to swallow but I ended up gagging but kept trying and they were watching so closely and then my dad was yelling telling me to just eat and my mum was even more upset and I kept trying to swallow oh my lord it was horrific.
Long story short, I woke up this morning to my parents telling me they've booked an appointment for me with my GP. Where do I even go from here?
[Humor] Ladies and gentlemen, my mother
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:16:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6popfl/ladies_and_gentlemen_my_mother/
---
https://i.redd.it/nwqy0d6ieybz.jpg
[Discussion] Gastric bypass??
/u/bovidaes [5'5 | -30 lbs | CGW: 120]
Created: Wed Jul 26 09:07:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pon8o/gastric_bypass/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Favorite poem?
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 08:54:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pok8c/favorite_poem/
---
Anyone have a favorite poem? Right now mine is Rabbit as King of the Ghosts by Wallace Stevens. What's yours?
[Rant/Rave] family dinner update...
/u/kittencow
Created: Wed Jul 26 08:52:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pojsd/family_dinner_update/
---
dinner turned into let's spend half the day at the airport then let's go out for lunch, i'm hungry from my flight to and i don't want to go to another restaurant later so why don't you cook for us even though it just turned 5 o'clock? to grocery shopping as a happy family :) to finding 7 avocados on sale for $1 but they're very ripe and we have to eat them all tonight! but wait haha that's not dinner! you still have to cook for us! to eating dinner as a family :) a nice happy loving family :) even though it's so late now and we don't want you to go on a walk when it's this late because we care about you :( hahaha fuck you
i almost binge ate but i was looking at the ingredients list and saw palm oil listed and rationalized my way out of doing it by telling myself that i would be directly contributing to the deforestation of the rainforest and exploitation of third world workers and probably murdering orangutans too if i ate this. fucking peanut butter. so kind of a win?
okay i wrote that at 1am, then i messed up my right arm pretty significantly because i'm an idiot, and then i realized i forgot to take my meds, then i decided i don't deserve to take my meds or sleep so i took 60mg of vyvanse because that makes sense
just ran 10 miles. it's 9am now. well, google fit says 12 but i don't trust it at all so i subtract 2 in my head. someone had left an empty box of hostess snack things in the gutter and i usually pick up all litter i see because i'm weird but this has been sitting there for two days. i was scared to pick it up and throw it away in case someone saw me carrying a box of junk food and thought i had eaten it? but today i said fuck it and ran two miles holding it to the nearest disposal along with an empty bottle of beer someone had tossed out of their car. [the evidence](https://imgur.com/a/US4b2). fuck. i'm still at the park i don't want to go home :(
[Rant/Rave] Maybe there's just always something wrong so I can justify restricting to myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 08:42:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pohhn/maybe_theres_just_always_something_wrong_so_i_can/
---
[deleted]
[Help] No one else to go to with this
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 115 | BMI 20.4| GW 105| HW 160]
Created: Wed Jul 26 06:55:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pntyd/no_one_else_to_go_to_with_this/
---
Hello everyone, hope all is well. Right now I'm struggling more than I ever have with my eating disorder and other stressors. As some of you might can relate, I've developed a routine (for whatever reason) and it's hard to break. Every day is restricting and b/p; full days of restriction couple days a week. So here is a typical day Monday-Friday:
4:30am- start work day
Through the morning- snack on low cal foods, drink lots of tea and water; calorie intake during whole work day is around 200-500 range
12:00pm- leave work for the day and go home
12:30pm- b/p
After b/p session, I don't eat until dinner
5:00pm- husband is home from work, eat light dinner in order to continue restriction or b/p again
No snacks after dinner, asleep before 8.
Can someone help me figure out how to avoid the habitual afternoon b/p session? I have to be home after work to walk the dog and get housework done; I plan my meals for the day/week ahead of time and still end up breaking it in the afternoon. I'm so tired of all my hard work being ruined and to be honest purging is starting to impact my body. My family and friends all still think I'm in recovery and would freak out if they knew the weight I've been losing is due to relapse; I can't talk to my husband- while he is loving and supportive, he doesn't really believe that ed's are serious and doesn't really believe in psychological disorders in general. So my lovely redditors, what can I do to stop this cycle?
[Humor] Vintage Video--warning might be triggering. Not PC.
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 06:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pnqjm/vintage_videowarning_might_be_triggering_not_pc/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_695820&feature=iv&src_vid=vmCXBGiOaqQ&v=oz0T2ATvXqI
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 26 06:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pnly8/daily_food_diary_july_26_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 26, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday July 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 26 06:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pnlpl/way_to_go_wednesday_july_26_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for July 26, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] I need a good scale recommendation, please.
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Wed Jul 26 05:23:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pndxr/i_need_a_good_scale_recommendation_please/
---
My trusted scale has lost its mind. I got everything from 138 - 142 on it this morning. So, then I turned to another scale. It's the "super" scale (it's big, it talks, it goes up to 550 pounds) in the house and has been reliable for my husband. I usually avoid it because I don't want my weight spoken but my husband is asleep, so I'm alright there. Welp, it gives me everything from 136 - 141. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle but I don't know where. I tried changing batteries in both scales and there is zero improvement in the fluctuations.
The whole point of this rant is... please tell me about a fabulous scale that will give me an accurate weight. I need to buy it today.
-- Yours truly,
A Woman Who is Freaking the Fuck Out Right Now
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 7.26
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Wed Jul 26 05:20:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pnddp/thinspiration_726/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Goywo
[Intro] Small Hi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 26 05:01:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pna73/small_hi/
---
[deleted]
What's the most you ever lost in a month?
/u/noshortcutsno [5'2 | CW 126 | 23 | GW1 106 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 04:15:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pn3ii/whats_the_most_you_ever_lost_in_a_month/
---
[removed]
[Help] How to tell your family?
/u/DeadGirlWalkin [5'2" | Fatty McFat Face]
Created: Wed Jul 26 04:11:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pn30h/how_to_tell_your_family/
---
I got a wake-up call and kind of want to get better. I'm thinking of telling my mother about it, but I'm scared of how she'll react.
Does anyone have any experiences or advice?
[Help] how do i get rid of edema(swelling) due to IP for AN asap?
/u/lunamoon1 [165cm | currently in ip |19f]
Created: Wed Jul 26 03:54:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pn0j8/how_do_i_get_rid_of_edemaswelling_due_to_ip_for/
---
i've been in IP since last tuesday (i don't want to be here, but i've been put on a 72 hour section as i've tried to discharge myself+its getting reviewed today or tomorrow so i have to be on my best behaviour) and have really bad case of edema of the stomach and feet due to the fact im on a 2500 calorie meal plan and can't use lax/water pills to get rid of it
the swelling is so bad that i've gone from 42.2kg(93lbs) to 50.4kg(111.1lbs) in two weeks.
i'm seeing the dietitian today and my liquids are monitored so drinking water to flush it out is not an option so any tips of getting rid of the swelling, im going to try workout but of course i have to be careful
is there anything else i can do, i can barely walk as i feel so bloated and horrible. thanks <3
[Rant/Rave] Thet won't stop fucking feeding me.
/u/mommadontmakeme [5'4"| 113lbs | 19.97 | -24lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 26 02:57:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pmsw6/thet_wont_stop_fucking_feeding_me/
---
I'm a nanny and the grandparents of the kids I look after have come to stay (for six fucking weeks but that's a separate rant) and they won't stop feeding me. They won't take no for an answer and I hate purging at work and it's all fucking carbs and fats. Doesn't help that both grandparents are grossly overweight so it's like if I eat like them I'll look like them and I'd rather slit my wrists. The grandma cooks 24 hours a day and doesn't speak enough English for my "no, thank you" or my "really I'm fine" to make any difference. Also veganism is difficult for her cause everything is drowned in ghee. She just makes me a plate regardless. I'm going insane I can't keep vomiting at work. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
[Rant/Rave] how does anyone hide purging!
/u/svppin
Created: Wed Jul 26 02:41:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pmqru/how_does_anyone_hide_purging/
---
[removed]
[Help] Constant headaches
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 105 | 17.04|26 F]
Created: Wed Jul 26 02:08:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pmmnq/constant_headaches/
---
Hi beautiful beings,
Any of you struggling with headache? I am with constant headaches for like 2-3 weeks. I am eating ~700 cals a day.
But I am stressed due to exams and having bad sleep so I am not sure what is causing them.
Any suggestions to fight the fatigue they cause?
Thank youu
[Rant/Rave] First binge in 2 or 3 weeks... I need some support
/u/gothshit [5"4 | SW 180 lbs | CW 142 lbs | GW 125 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 23:24:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6plzbe/first_binge_in_2_or_3_weeks_i_need_some_support/
---
How do you even recover from a binge? I had a lot more than I usually do (like I had more than a granola bar and a banana) but the logical, non ED, side of my brain knows it wasn't a lot.
Today I ate:
-half of a small oatmeal cookie
-5 chips ahoy cookies
-a slice of coffe cake
-a spoonful of ice cream on top
-an avocado and slice of toast
-ramen
I know that this really isn't a big deal but I'm also freaking the fuck out and hating myself for it. I thought before that I was just not eating as much because I was too busy... I was wrong. Welcome back, ED.
[Rant/Rave] Egoistical disorder
/u/Cheshire_TheCat [183cm | 58.5kg | 17.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 23:18:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6plyev/egoistical_disorder/
---
I'm on mobile so if anyone could flair the post as rant/rave that would be great.
So I'm on a two week vacation with my boyfriends family and I just really need to rant right now. I already have a lot of trouble with his sister, she is as close to perfection as you can get (except for her personality). She is always so fashionable, so so thin and she is very beautiful. So you can imagine she is my perfect thinspo. She has also "had" an ED (she says she doesn't have it anymore but I still see so so many ED behavior and she eats very little) so this makes me feel incredibly competitive to eat less than her.
Before we went on vacation his sister sent me an email about how her ED was and how she recovered which sounded very condesending and bugged the hell out of me and then today during dinner she continued this. She said that I was egoistical for continuing to have a ED even though it hurts so many people around me and that I was arrogant for doing so. This seriously got me so so mad, I know that because it's a psychological disorder it's seems like a "choice" but this disorder makes you not want to get help and to continue loosing weight whatever the costs, that's kind-of the point of anorexia. Good for her that she "stopped" before she got to bad into the disorder but I can't. She makes it very clear that she is this nice special snowflake who doesn't hurt people and isn't egoistical, but she has the worst personality of anyone I've ever met and is so incredibly arrogant! She would go over bodies to get what she wants and then she calls me arrogant!
And to be honest, besides the fact that this got me so mad, it also just hurts a lot. I'm so insecure about myself and the ugly quite little mouse I am and to then hear another bad thing about yourself just breaks you. I thought I already knew every little thing that is wrong about me but apparently I didn't. I just want to cry and never leave the room again but I still have two days to go before we leave.
I'm sorry if you read all of this. I just couldn't keep it bottled up and needed to rant.
Ps: Oh and btw his mom said I'm doing it for attention. Why is it that everyone thinks you are having anorexia for attention? Why can't it just be because I hate myself.
[Discussion] Do you have a pro-ed playlist?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 23:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6plx6l/do_you_have_a_proed_playlist/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] [NSFW] Does your ED affect your sex life?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW: 182. CW: 161 BMI: 23.35.]
Created: Tue Jul 25 22:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pltpu/nsfw_does_your_ed_affect_your_sex_life/
---
I was just thinking about how my sex life is definitely taking a hit from all of the body image issues associated with my ED. The lack of confidence makes it hard to try anything new or truly get in the mood without obsessing with how my body looks in any given moment. Does anyone else experience this? How are you coping?
[Discussion] whats your ugw?
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Tue Jul 25 22:36:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6plrlz/whats_your_ugw/
---
do you think youll ever get there? 125s mine. im not sure ill ever reach it because people make sure im eating :/ it just seems so clean and perfect .. but in all honesty i probably wont be happy until i weigh 0 pounds
[Other] Under 700 for 18 days - day two
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 22:22:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6plp47/under_700_for_18_days_day_two/
---
[removed]
[Other] Under 700 for 18 days - day one
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 22:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6plnu5/under_700_for_18_days_day_one/
---
[removed]
[Help] How obvious does purging look?
/u/burgundyburning [5'8 | 51.6 kg/113.6 lb | BMI 17.04 | GW: 51 kg/112 lb]
Created: Tue Jul 25 21:36:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6plh2l/how_obvious_does_purging_look/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Biggest victory I've had in a while.
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Tue Jul 25 20:51:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pl8v5/biggest_victory_ive_had_in_a_while/
---
HOLY. SHIT. I am 4 pounds away from being underweight (for my height) according to the new BMI calculator!!! I know I probably won't look it for a while because I have a naturally "thicc" body and my hips are wide, but guys. so happy <3
[Discussion] Apple cider vinegar
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Tue Jul 25 20:51:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pl8tr/apple_cider_vinegar/
---
So at work one of the manager's was talking about weight loss and he said that a shot of ACV mixed in his drink killed his appetite, and that his sister is losing 3 pounds a week drinking it.
Anyone have any experience with this?
[Rant/Rave] I was an idiot to think I could eat normal
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Tue Jul 25 20:14:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pl1zv/i_was_an_idiot_to_think_i_could_eat_normal/
---
So today I decided that I would eat 1700 and that it would be fine. I had my lunch and then like clockwork I had the burning need to eat EVERYTHING. So I did. And I purged. I'm so mad at myself because I feel like I could've tried harder.
It's always restrict or binge-purge, there's never an in between. And I knew this would happen, what made me think today would be any different?
[Rant/Rave] Being thin will fix everything?
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 20:10:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pl17k/being_thin_will_fix_everything/
---
I know that's a stupid thought, but it always felt like if I were thin, I'd get the love I craved. Does anybody else feel that way? Like they'd do anything to be thin so they could cure every problem in their life? I know thin people don't have it made, but when family ignores me or excludes me without apologizing, those feelings bubble up inside me, like, "getting thin is the best revenge."
[Rant/Rave] Five day water fast
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 20:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkzre/five_day_water_fast/
---
I am starting a five day water fast to cleanse my soul and help me heal from the knowledge that I was in fact cheated on (aka right all along) and to prevent myself from driving to Baltimore and setting my ex on fire like I want to do and because I hate myself and I'm not in a good place right now at all mentally
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo featuring shoes from my favorite place to buy stuff.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Tue Jul 25 20:01:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkzh8/daily_thinspo_featuring_shoes_from_my_favorite/
---
https://i.redd.it/639oninpgubz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Never trust a cheap scale
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 19:25:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pksgm/never_trust_a_cheap_scale/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] One binge to end them all..at least what I am telling myself this time..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jul 25 19:24:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pksbg/one_binge_to_end_them_allat_least_what_i_am/
---
I know maybe i am not the only one who says "this will be the last binge" but I feel like I can't keep cycling like this. I need to change my behavior and stop. The bouncing between extremes is not good for me and is only going to make me put on more weight and keep me from my goals and having a life.
I used to binge and purge and when I did i could consume a lot and just "empty it all out" and well I can't purge anymore because I caused damage to my esophagus and my stomach. I was recently anemic and ordered to stop purging at risk of causing more damange.
Since I can't purge it has been a lot of binging and it is really getting tiring. I feel panicked and on edge until i get to binge and then for minutes I am in gluttonous bliss and then I am in physical pain...
Yesterday I binged probably at maintainence and was worried about gaining and today I planned to just fast however things didn't go the way I intended. I started to binge and then I stopped and then I binged again..and then I stopped.
this is it.
I am going to stop binging. I will be more thoughtful with what I eat instead of shoveling all the food into my mouth like I am going to hibernate for a dozen winters. I may just try having smaller meals and restricting instead of bouncing back and fourth.
When I was binging I kept thinking I should stop but I wanted to put myself through the worst abdominal pain I could so that I could recall it the next time I want to eat too much. I guess it could be likened to a parent making their child smoke a carton of cigerettes when they are caught smoking. I made myself eat until It hurt and wouldn't let myself purge or take lax because I wanted myself to feel the pain I was causing myself.
tomorrow is the start of a new beginning.
wish me luck.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Too depressed to eat
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 126 | GW 105 | SW 132 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 19:16:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkqps/too_depressed_to_eat/
---
I've had some stuff happen in my life lately that has resulted in me starting an accidental multi day fast.
I just can't eat. I'm already so sad and the thought of having food inside me makes it even worse. For the most part I'm not even hungry. I can feel how empty my stomach is and I'm starting to get kind of shitty feeling but I just feel awful.
I considered getting a smoothie because the one I get is only 160cal for a normal size and it'd have nutrients, but I'm scared to ingest any calories. Fuck.
[Intro] Old Face, New Account
/u/Rickticia
Created: Tue Jul 25 19:07:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkp1a/old_face_new_account/
---
Hey guys and gals and everyone in between,
New account because my SO knows my main account name, and it would lead to problems if he found out about my eating disorder. I'm 20F, struggling on and off with bulimia. I figured I'd make a quick intro because it's a new account, and I never made one for any of the old ones.
I'm really passionate about the environment, reading, and running, to name a few basic ones. I first struggled with bulimia in 11th grade, but I thought I had recovered because it was a short bout (only a few months). To be frank, I don't remember how I fell into it I just remember the despair and the pro-ED sites I visited.
I recovered and went off to college. First semester, I got the freshman 30, and that triggered occasional purging after large meals. Sometime later, I decided to lose the weight. I started off normally, but as I grew more stressed, struggled with mild depression, and just generally disliked myself, I fell deeply into bulimia again.
I'm trying hard to move away from it, but it's really difficult, and I don't think I'm ready to recover yet. You guys have been such great support so far, and you keep me sane.
[Discussion] What is/was your motivation?
/u/sunshinexxx1
Created: Tue Jul 25 19:00:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkno0/what_iswas_your_motivation/
---
What are your thin goals? My motivation is I want people to treat me better
[Discussion] What's your favorite halo top flavor?
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Tue Jul 25 19:00:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkni9/whats_your_favorite_halo_top_flavor/
---
So far I would have to say birthday cake 🎂
[Discussion] [Discussion] Does the thought of exercising make anyone else anxious?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Tue Jul 25 18:22:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkfub/discussion_does_the_thought_of_exercising_make/
---
It's not even the thought of being seen by other people (which does make me anxious) because even when I work out in private I still get super anxious beforehand. It's not like I'm obese and can't physically exercise, it's just the thought of having to working out for an hour and trying to burn calories that freaks me out. Anyway, I binged today so I'm trying to psyche myself up to go to the high school track to try to run/jog/walk (it's 8:20pm where I am now so the track should be empty w/ the overhead lights on)
[Tip] My binge, 176cals Im stuffed. Success!
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Tue Jul 25 18:22:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkfu8/my_binge_176cals_im_stuffed_success/
---
https://i.redd.it/am5gl220ztbz.jpg
Does the thought of exercise make anyone super anxious?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 18:19:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkfbe/does_the_thought_of_exercise_make_anyone_super/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Best unexpected compliment?
/u/justalittlesmaller [5'2" | 101 | 18.5 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 18:18:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkf28/best_unexpected_compliment/
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I work in a family doctor's office and saw a new patient today. I met her husband yesterday and she told me that when he came home, she asked about me, and all he said was, "She's tiny." What's the best unexpected compliment you've received?
[Rant/Rave] Uncontrollable and Obsessive
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 18:15:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkecp/uncontrollable_and_obsessive/
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So an obvious update on my binge less than 24 hours ago: I binged on more food. 800 calories went on to being 2100 calories. This is the biggest binge I've had since last month and I feel so bloated. Realistically I know I won't gain a lot from that but guess who's going to fast and go to the gym for 2 and a half hours tomorrow??? Me!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Holy mother of PMS
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 18:02:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pkbow/holy_mother_of_pms/
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I've been craving and binge eating like never before. I'm so bloated and the scale is back up to 135.8 because I've literally been eating non-stop and I fucking baked vegan cookies so I could give in to my dessert cravings (wtf why did I do that) and I ate ALL OF THEM and the jeans I bought were a size too big but now I feel like they're going to fit (and tbh I should've *not* taken off the tags so I could get the next size down but whatever)
I WANT TO GET MY STUPID PERIOD SO THE FUCKING PMS FEST LEAVES MY BODY FUCK HORMONES AND CRAVINGS AND UGH
I was supposed to fast today but instead I bought 2 fucking bars of chocolate??? And ate FUCKING 3 bowls of pasta that were so drenched in oil my 3 year old campers called it "shiny pasta"
Jesus Christ. I'm going to take my stupid Adderall tomorrow so I can fast I don't have any fucking self control.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like an addict
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 17:50:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pk99b/i_feel_like_an_addict/
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I can't live in moderation- it feels like I have to do all or none (with booze too). I'm either hungry or feel sick, sober or throwing up. It's always a sprint to the finish line.
My boyfriend doesn't get cravings- when I told him I have them, he said, "It sounds like a drug." And he's right, that's what it feels like- I never want food because I'm hungry, I can deal with that, it's always because I'm fixated on a specific flavor or texture in my mouth. I've pretty much only been watching cooking and food review videos for the past week.
I don't trust myself anymore, so I'm just gonna restrict as much as I can without getting dizzy. They're not hunger pangs, it's just withdrawal.
[Discussion] Do you have a specific event you want to be at your GW by?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 17:06:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjzw8/do_you_have_a_specific_event_you_want_to_be_at/
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I'm going to a music festival in October with my friends and I want to be at my GW by then
Also I want to be like 5 lbs below my GW for thanksgiving/Christmas season because I always gain a lot then
[Help] Phentermine + ECA stack
/u/the_sandra
Created: Tue Jul 25 17:02:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjz2o/phentermine_eca_stack/
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First time poster, long time lurker. I recently got a prescription for Phentermine (30mg) and was thinking about doing an ECA stack as well because honestly I'm still starving while on the Phentermine. I wanted to rotate between the two methods (every other day) but I'm not sure if that would be bad for me. Like really bad. I know most of the risks of both methods but I don't know about them together. Just curious if anyone has had experience combining or rotating these. If so, what about using both at the same time? Like Phen upon waking up and maybe a dose of ECA at like noon? I need to get my shit together. My weight gain/binging is out of control. Thanks in advance!
[Discussion] Breyers Delights reviews (all 4 flavors!)
/u/nightmaerceci
Created: Tue Jul 25 17:00:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjygs/breyers_delights_reviews_all_4_flavors/
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Hi all, so this past week the much-anticipated Breyers Delights finally appeared at my local grocery store, so naturally I bought all 4 flavors without hesitation. I haven't been able to find many reviews on the internet yet and I figured some of you might be interested, so I thought I'd give my thoughts on each of the flavors here.
*Mint Chip:* (310 cal. per pint)
Upon opening this pint, I was super excited to find that unlike Halo Top's Mint Chip, this one actually has decently-sized chocolate chips! They're not huge, but they're about twice as big as Halo Top's, and are much less scarce. As far as the taste of the actual ice cream goes, however, I was disappointed. The mint flavor is definitely there; it's as strong as you would want it to be, but I felt like it was lacking enough sweetness to balance it out. It kinda tasted like I was eating unsweetened mint ice cream. The intensity of the mint started to become a bit too much for me after a little while, and this is coming from someone who loves mint ice cream. I still finished it, but I’ll be sticking to Halo Top’s yummier, lower-cal version.
Score: 6/10
*Vanilla Bean:* (260 cal. per pint)
I was really curious to see if this one would be any better than Halo Top’s, either in taste or texture, but in short: it’s not. It’s not bad, but it’s not as sweet and the vanilla flavor isn’t as strong. Somewhat hard to recommend.
Score: 6/10
*Creamy Chocolate* (270 cal. per pint)
This one surprised me. I'm actually not much of a chocolate ice cream person, believe it or not, but I really enjoyed this one. The texture and taste were both almost indistinguishable from real ice cream. I'll probably get this one again at some point.
Score: 8/10
*Cookies & Cream* (330 cal. per pint)
Ladies and gentlemen, the one we've all been waiting for. In short: It's amazing. HUGE cookie CHUNKS (not cookie dust!), creamy texture, all for only 10 calories more than Halo Top's version! Talk about a no-brainer.
Score: 9/10
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend said something so right...and then something totally wrong :(
/u/velvetcinn
Created: Tue Jul 25 16:46:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjvjm/boyfriend_said_something_so_rightand_then/
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We just moved in together again finally, but we've been together for 5 years. I was crying on his lap because of my shitty day and just being upset in general.
The right thing he said in response to me saying I felt fat: "it's okay, I don't think it's permanent." And you know what, he was so right and I actually felt better.
But then he asked if I wanted some food, and I started bawling again because YES I did, I was so hungry but I felt guilty for eating. But then he said "I don't want you to purge it all. You'll just get hungry again and eat more." And then I cried even harder, because yes I know I'm stupid and wasteful of food and money when I do that but if I were capable of stopping I would be cured. And then the realization that him moving in might mean him trying to put a stop to my way of life for years. And you know what, I AM just going to get hungry again so maybe I just shouldn't eat at all...
:/
[Humor] Who wants to be scared today? Adam R. E Calories
/u/welpthatreallysucks [♀ 5'4" | ⚖ 205 | -31lbs| 🇨🇦]
Created: Tue Jul 25 16:45:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjven/who_wants_to_be_scared_today_adam_r_e_calories/
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https://youtu.be/Uv6J5jxi84o
[Help] Please help me make sense of my TDEE/BMR!
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Tue Jul 25 16:41:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjufg/please_help_me_make_sense_of_my_tdeebmr/
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Sorry, on mobile so no flair!
I got down from 180 to 90 a few years back and ended up in treatment. There, I got Celexa. I gained very slowly and maintained for a few years. However, I ended up on Elavil as well. The combination of these two (plus 2 laproscopy for endometriosis) led me to my current weight. I gained about 30 lbs on ~600-800/day. I haven't eaten over about 800 (the extremely rare 1000 day) in about 4 years. Even during IOP I managed to get away with ~1000/day. I'm currently on ~200/day and not losing. Have I permanently screwed up my metabolism? Can I lose weight on something higher than 200/300? Extensive exercise is difficult due to disability, but I work retail on my feet a few days a week. What would you estimate my TDEE/BMR at? Please help! I'm distraught and have been very upset and confused about this for a while now.
[Rant/Rave] New guy notices a lot of things but in a nice way?
/u/rawtruism [5'2 | cw: 100.5 lbs | gw: 88 lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 25 16:23:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjqic/new_guy_notices_a_lot_of_things_but_in_a_nice_way/
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This is probably more of a rant/rave thing than a question, but I just wanted to share anyway.
I've been with this guy almost 24/7 the last week. He barely eats and I've eaten even less, so it's been wonderful. He sticks to fruit/veg/nuts/smoothies and the occasional junk, and it's so easy to eat almost nothing when I'm at his place. He spoke about electrolytes and it's almost as if he knows. His way of eating is so interesting. He's incredibly lovely and caring. He bought a bunch of things I'd mentioned I like to eat, even though they're pretty expensive items. He keeps mentioning how little I eat, but he never pushes me to eat anything. He just asks if I'd like some fruit every once in a while. I binged the second I got home at it feels like failure. He's the greatest distraction and motivator I've met in a while. He's the most incredible person I've met in a long time. It almost feels as if I'm going to be completely obsessed with him from now on. oh well. what can you do? Nothing!
[Help] How do you stop a binge period?
/u/beepitymeep
Created: Tue Jul 25 16:13:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjobp/how_do_you_stop_a_binge_period/
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Note I'm not necessarily looking for Ana tips I just wanna stop fucking eating 3000 calories a day. Just mental ways to stop that snack impulse.
[Discussion] Success with OMAD?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 16:08:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjn5j/success_with_omad/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What does "whoosh" mean?
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 15:48:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjiil/what_does_whoosh_mean/
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I have seen this term cropping up here and there, and I don't understand what it refers to.
From context, it seems to mean a very sudden and significant weight drop. Is this correct? If so, could somebody give me a mini ELI5 on how it works?
Thanks gang :) I feel like a noob asking this.
[Discussion] Low-cal bar drinks?
/u/blondehare
Created: Tue Jul 25 15:36:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pjfl5/lowcal_bar_drinks/
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Going to meet up with an old roommate at a bar tonight, I don't want to fuck up with a sugary drink or heavy beer. What do you guys get when you go out?
What is the new BMI...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 15:11:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pj9s1/what_is_the_new_bmi/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i've been binging all day and all night
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 15:06:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pj8eu/ive_been_binging_all_day_and_all_night/
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[deleted]
[Other] #justbulimiaproblems
/u/Ofca0
Created: Tue Jul 25 14:56:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pj5wu/justbulimiaproblems/
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https://i.redd.it/n26j84i6ysbz.jpg
[Help] Had one week binge—free, and then I had the worst binge of my life
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Tue Jul 25 13:52:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6piq6s/had_one_week_bingefree_and_then_i_had_the_worst/
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I feel like shit :( I'm bloated, awaiting an actual pound of weightgain and tired.
Can anyone help me take my mind off things? Honestly, I just want a bloody distraction. Show me a picture of your cat in a shoebox or show me your favorite Dr. Phil episode, I'll take anything...
[Rant/Rave] Friend "helping"
/u/velvetcinn
Created: Tue Jul 25 13:35:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pilvh/friend_helping/
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Sorry for posting so much today :/
I have confided in one friend about my ED, and I often think it was a mistake (especially a couple weeks about when she said she wonders sometimes if she should force me to get help. Nooooo).
She's morbidly obese and I feel that sometimes she resents me when I talk to her about it (I am underweight, or was before I binged my face off). She sent me a link to a recovery Instagram account a girl with anorexia, and she said, "I thought this might help, I know you're nowhere near where she was, but you should follow her."
*"you're nowhere near where she was"* 😭😭😭😭 triggering af even though she didn't mean to, I didn't want to be as thin as her before photo (yet) but I was quite offended and sad :( also, it doesn't matter *too* much, but I am bulimic, not anorexic.
Today I tried talking to her when I was feeling down (she told me to whenever I was having a bad day) and she said in response to me: "You're on your period that totally explains it! It's not an excuse it's exactly why you're being the way you are. As for binging, don't call it that love. You're just eating. Calling it binging keeps it in the ED mind frame"
...I know the difference between eating and binging; it's definitely binging when I eat a package of instant noodles....and a four egg fried egg sandwich with mayo....and half a peach pie....and a whole baby cucumber....and would have gone for more if my lunch break hadn't ended.
I know she's only trying to help but it really isn't much, and I'll regret it if she tells anyone. Not worth it :/
[Help] Dysmorphia is killing me
/u/hazelconner [5'4" | 174.5 | 33.2% BF | -15.5 | X/F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 13:22:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6piilp/dysmorphia_is_killing_me/
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I haven't been around in a while because I've been doing well. Losing weight in a healthy manner and it seems like i conquered my b/p issues. But things are starting to get rough again.
People keep telling me I'm skinny even though I know I'm overweight. I can't stop seeing the bulges in my thighs and belly and I KNOW IM NOT AT A HEALTHY WEIGHT. And hearing obese people say I'm thin and I can stop does not feel like a compliment. Holy shit everyone in my country is so damn fat.
The scale still says 155 and 29.5% body fat. It doesn't seem like my measurements are changing. But my clothes are baggy and photos of me look skinny but nothing about my weight or measurements says I'm skinny. I don't know what's wrong with me but it feels like the world is lying to me about my body because the numbers say one thing and then the clothes and photos say something else.
[Rant/Rave] thin to obsese to idk normalise? disgusting loose skin
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | - 140| 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Jul 25 13:19:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pihmf/thin_to_obsese_to_idk_normalise_disgusting_loose/
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I've had "eating issues" since I was 14 or so, before all of this I was pretty much a normal weight and flopping around bulimia anorexia binge eating when depressed binge drinking (alcoholic) and self harming since I was 12 with suicide attempts landing me in hospital (surprise they diagnosed me as borderline) pill addict etc and will always have BDD. Also, I'm 30. A lot of you are really young and I wish I was, it wouldn't be as painful then, more elasticity. ANYWAY
I relapsed hard after 2 or so years after my Bipolar DX, being hospitalised a buncha times and being stuffed with meds like zyprexa lithium seroquel etc etc (all since I've stopped and switched) which cause MASSIVE weight gain if you've ever been on them, some people more than others. I also have hypothyroidism :))) my metabolism is shit.
I rarely every tell ANYBODY my weight, CW or HW because it's disgusting, I feel like nobody can relate.
Anyway, last April or so still avoiding going outside for months after moving across the world to be with my fiancé now husband. I and I have a scale at home but was always afraid to touch it. Afraid to go outside. Afraid to look at myself. I avoided mirrors.
I went to the GP for severe suicidality and was weighed at a severely obese BMI, 258, 41 BMI. I choke back vomit to think I was there.
The second that happened I stopped taking Seroquel not giving a shit about what it would do to me mentally and relapsed into pretty severe restriction (starting at 900-then down to about 80 cal, now I increased to 300 and max 500)
Now a bit over a year I've lost nearly 140lbs and am at a pathetic 125 and lowish side of the "Normal" block with a 20.2 BMI. Obviously I'm not happy ever. I dont see anything.
Do you know what I see? Loose skin. I'll never look thin because I have years of medication destruction on my skin.
I know I've shrunk. I can tell in certain areas. I can feel my ribcage, my hipbones make it hard to sleep on my hardish mattress. I can tell because of my clothes. I can tell by feeling parts, having no ass, losing my tits, bras being too big, all my clothes are giant.
But I'll never be, not that I really wanted to? Someone that can take pictures of herself even if she's not satisfied.. I dont like, not that I ever did, being naked in front of my hubby, I dont know how to explain it. I just... didn't see it coming this badly. I mean I've seen WAY WORSE but its hard to see progress when I see that.
If I had a ton of money once I lost more, I'd get skin removed, but fuck who has that?
It bothers me so much.
[Discussion] How does body dysmorphia work? How is it possible that we can't tell a big difference when we lose?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Tue Jul 25 13:13:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pifg8/how_does_body_dysmorphia_work_how_is_it_possible/
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Haha, 10 months ago...
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/50cd79/i_just_want_to_always_be_the_smallest_person_in/
I'm a little over 90 now, but that girl is still substantially thinner than I am. Sigh. My weight has fluctuated a lot in the past year after I got out of inpatient, with a 18-20 lb difference with fluctuations because of periods of high b/p...but here I am now, and I really truly don't feel a difference.
From a neuroscience/perspective/vision standpoint...how can this "reality" be possible?
[Rant/Rave] And so the cycle continues...(Mixed thoughts on vacation)
/u/Notreallyoverit [5'11 | 166 | 22.41 | UGW: 130? Maybe? | 31F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:54:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pib49/and_so_the_cycle_continuesmixed_thoughts_on/
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So I just got back from vacation with my SO for three weeks of leave while I finish active duty Military service, and of course, one of the first things I did upon getting back home was weigh myself. He removed the scale from his household (well hid it) so I couldn't weigh myself while I was there. I was able to work out, but not as much as I liked, so I don't know why I was so shocked when I found out I gained weight. Almost 8lbs. Seriously hate myself.
Tonight I have an eval/assessment with a personal trainer at my gym, to see what I can do to shakeup my boring treadmill routine to hopefully workout more and better. I'm also terrified that he's going to check my BMI too. Which right now, is fat. so very fat.
[Goal] 40 days.
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:39:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pi7eb/40_days/
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So in 40 days I'm going to Portugal for a week with my boyfriend. I've been so so excited but am now worried that i won't be at my GW by then.... This is motivating me to work harder than ever to reach my GW. Lost 3 kgs in the last 3 weeks and am aiming to be 48kgs by the holiday. Am currently fluctuating but at an average of 52kg.
[Other] Writing this instead of binging
/u/Newthrowyaccount [5'2 | CW: 120? | CGW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:37:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pi6ub/writing_this_instead_of_binging/
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I want to binge so badly. I still do. I was going to allow myself to "binge" on a jar of applesauce instead, which is only 250 and could allow me to still hit my goal today. I got halfway through the jar when I realized that if I allowed myself to do this, it wouldn't really be helping me. Eating to cope, even if it is apple sauce instead of ice cream and junk food, isn't healthy. And I want to be healthy. So I'm typing this now. Then I'll try and crochet instead. Maybe even walk even though I feel like absolute fuck shit right now.
I read something horrible last night. I don't really want to go into it here, it's just so long and heavy and dark. But I just feel so alone. There are absolutely *terrible* people in the world, and it terrifies me that someone in my family could be one of them. Is most likely one of them. I feel so angry and disgusted. Some things are better left unseen. I was doing so well, and I feel like a train just hit me honestly. Fuck, man.
Here's to staying healthy, keeping my streak, being positive, all of that. I can and will be okay, it'll just take some time and effort. And that in itself is ok.
[Help] neuropathy from vitamin deficiency from being a fucking idiot with fasting and stims?
/u/Rhyanon [Who needs reasons when you have an ED?]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:33:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pi5wv/neuropathy_from_vitamin_deficiency_from_being_a/
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have this ringing in the left side of the arch of my left foot. I don't think it's diabetic neuropathy i was tested for diabetes recently and came up clean... all I can think is it was fasting on stims and fasting in general without adequate nutrient intake that has done it
wanna tell my doctor but honestly im too scared ill be uncovered. it isnt getting worse but it isnt getting better
[Help] First counselling appointment (for anxiety)
/u/absolute___zero [5'5 | CW 141 | GW 120 | -35 | 22F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:26:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pi458/first_counselling_appointment_for_anxiety/
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Hoping some of you guys can give me some advice/help. A few months ago my doctor referred me for counselling for social anxiety. My first appointment is on Monday and I'm feeling, and you're not going to believe this, VERY VERY SOCIALLY ANXIOUS.
My biggest worry is my disordered eating coming up. I'm pretty sure this is a coping mechanism for my anxiety but I'm not in a place right now where I want to talk about it and get help. Maybe as I get help with anxiety the eating will get better anyway.
I've wanted this help for years and now that it's here I'm freaking out. Does anyone have any experience of being in a similar position and how did it work out for you?
Edit: If I do tell her about it do I have to get help with it? I'm far from underweight.
[Rant/Rave] Gained 1 pound and totally self-destructed.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:25:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pi3w1/gained_1_pound_and_totally_selfdestructed/
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Weighed in a full pound heavier than yesterday, and I just completely lost my mind. Ran out and bought the pills for an EC stack and laxatives--even though my heart is already garbage and I really, really should not be taking EC stacks. Chugged a bottle's worth of Miralax and took a Bronkaid with a venti iced coffee. Now I'm sitting here shaking, listening to my own heart with my stethoscope in case it craps out on me.
I haven't felt this crazy in a long, long time. Someone tell me they've reacted like this to a tiny gain in water weight.
[Rant/Rave] thin to obsess to thin? disgusting.. loose skin
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | - 140| 30F | AU]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:25:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pi3ri/thin_to_obsess_to_thin_disgusting_loose_skin/
---
I've had "eating issues" since I was 14 or so, before all of this I was pretty much a normal weight and flopping around bulimia anorexia binge eating when depressed binge drinking (alcoholic) and self harming since I was 12 with suicide attempts landing me in hospital (surprise they diagnosed me as borderline) pill addict etc and will always have BDD. Also, I'm 30. A lot of you are really young and I wish I was, it wouldn't be as painful then, more elasticity. ANYWAY
I relapsed hard after 2 or so years after my Bipolar DX, being hospitalised a buncha times and being stuffed with meds like zyprexa lithium seroquel etc etc (all since I've stopped and switched) which cause MASSIVE weight gain if you've ever been on them, some people more than others. I also have hypothyroidism :))) my metabolism is shit.
I rarely every tell ANYBODY my weight, CW or HW because it's disgusting, I feel like nobody can relate.
Anyway, last April or so still avoiding going outside for months after moving across the world to be with my fiancé now husband. I and I have a scale at home but was always afraid to touch it. Afraid to go outside. Afraid to look at myself. I avoided mirrors.
I went to the GP for severe suicidality and was weighed at a severely obese BMI, 258, 41 BMI. I choke back vomit to think I was there.
The second that happened I stopped taking Seroquel not giving a shit about what it would do to me mentally and relapsed into pretty severe restriction (starting at 900-then down to about 80 cal, now I increased to 300 and max 500)
Now a bit over a year I've lost nearly 140lbs and am at a pathetic 125 and lowish side of the "Normal" block with a 20.2 BMI. Obviously I'm not happy ever. I dont see anything.
Do you know what I see? Loose skin. I'll never look thin because I have years of medication destruction on my skin.
I know I've shrunk. I can tell in certain areas. I can feel my ribcage, my hipbones make it hard to sleep on my hardish mattress. I can tell because of my clothes. I can tell by feeling parts, having no ass, losing my tits, bras being too big, all my clothes are giant.
But I'll never be, not that I really wanted to? Someone that can take pictures of herself even if she's not satisfied.. I dont like, not that I ever did, being naked in front of my hubby, I dont know how to explain it. I just... didn't see it coming this badly. I mean I've seen WAY WORSE but its hard to see progress when I see that.
If I had a ton of money once I lost more, I'd get skin removed, but fuck who has that?
It bothers me so much.
I dont know what this is.
[Rant/Rave] Told I looked "curvy"
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 113 | 19.4 | -2| Woman]
Created: Tue Jul 25 12:16:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pi1l2/told_i_looked_curvy/
---
Now I wanna start by saying my frame is petite and I'm very lucky for that. I look thinner than my actual bmi suggests bc I'm naturally muscular, no boobs, no hip, a little thigh and ass, and objectively not very curvy. Now this "compliment" was paid to me by my coworkers whom I love and I work in retail and we had to try on all of our new denim. They no nothing of my eating disorder and almost everyone who works there is an XS and 00, myself included, so everyone is just presumed to be sample size and thin with no toxic connotations. Honestly it's a lovely and positive place to work. Anyway, I had to try on bootcut jeans and I usually only ever wearing our skinny jeans. Both of the coworkers i was with were saying how good they looked on me and that I should get them bc they made me look curvy, "hips on fleek" and my ass looked bigger. Now obviously said with 0 malice so this is just a rant but let me tell you how fucking triggering. Anyway, will never be buying boot cut jeans.
[Rant/Rave] Life's curveballs
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:58:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phwzj/lifes_curveballs/
---
I've been really drained recently. I guess it explains calling in Monday and sleeping for 36 fucking hours! Thus no workouts for me, then I ate all of my remaining deficit calories from the weekend putting me at 4000 calories behind for my upcoming refeed. The anxiety is high and stupid. The goal is to gain so this puts me in a perfect position but no brain is calculating how to make up those calories. The solution, no food! I've done 7 day fasts, easy but not when active so we will see how it goes. Long term fasts usually give me a high so hey this could be fun...right? Or I'll stop being so messed up and just accept the damn surplus for a single week given my goal is to gain 5 lbs for my next race. I feel so lonely, so scared, so messed up, my friends support me "you never ever rest embrace it, your body is talking to you." I know it is but sitting makes me feel so bad. I felt like shit again this morning, didn't go to work but just finished 4 hours cardio and alas the world feels better.
[Discussion] Have yall watched to the bone?
/u/1gnotumPer1gnotius
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:36:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phr9y/have_yall_watched_to_the_bone/
---
I just watched it the other day and want to hear what y'all though of it.
Water fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:35:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phr43/water_fast/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] What sugar free items do you use?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:19:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phn06/what_sugar_free_items_do_you_use/
---
I'm thinking of buying a sugar free syrups to add to my coffee, but I'm also curious as what other sugar free products you guys use, like jams, energy drinks and gums.
I don't think I've tried many other than sugar free gum like Extra and Airwaves so I need to broaden my horizons.
I like the look of Jordan's Skinny Syrups, Monin Premium and Sweetbird's range of sugar free. Monin Premium appears to have the lowest with 18.8 kcal per 100ml on their [caramel syrup](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005KLWA0M/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=1HB0WPNY2SOZA&coliid=I355AHYH8VQPM), Sweetbird with 25kcal per 100ml on their [caramel syrup](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B003OVPZUW/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=1HB0WPNY2SOZA&coliid=I1Y4AM688U3JQU) but Jordan's is 0kcal for 30ml on their [cinnamon and vanilla](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B003OVPZUW/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=1HB0WPNY2SOZA&coliid=I1Y4AM688U3JQU)
[Rant/Rave] Changed medications and now my appetite has increased.
/u/eca3c4
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:16:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phm5q/changed_medications_and_now_my_appetite_has/
---
I started taking a new medication (for depression) that lowered my appetite A LOT and it was suddenly very easy to eat less then 800 calories. I lost 5kg and it felt really good. But the with the new medication came a lot of really intense mood swings (and with the mood swings, a lot of suicide thoughts) and I had to go back to my old medication.
Now I'm feeling good, I'm not having mood swings neither suicide thoughts, BUT my appetite has increased and I'm eating about 1600/1800 calories a day. I started purging again, but it's not enough and I'm gaining weight... gained 3kg of the 5kg I've lost.
I'm already planning to talk to my doctor about it, but my appointment is just next week, and I can't take gaining weight anymore, because I will start to purge and purge again (and my throat can't take it anymore).
edit: words and phrasing
[Rant/Rave] My ED makes me an asshole sometimes 😭
/u/velvetcinn
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:11:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phkwo/my_ed_makes_me_an_asshole_sometimes/
---
Today at 11:30, my great aunt's daughter came over to my work and asked if I wanted to eat with her and several family members at the restaurant close by, and I was put on the spot and could have said I had a half hour till my lunch break but my helpful coworker chimed in and said I could go. I told her I was going to run home first and then just never went....
It would have been super awkward to me because I loathe social interaction. They probably already ordered/didn't expect me to pay, but I got overdrafted a few days ago and don't get paid for 5 more, and it would have been really fucking embarrassing if they hadn't, and to not be able to offer to contribute at all. Plus, I binged and gained about 9 pounds over the last week and a half, and I hate eating in public/with other people. So what did I do? Went home and binged on instant noodles anyway while sitting in the dark crying. Hopefully they'll be gone by the time my lunch break is over so they won't see me go back to work.....but I feel like such an asshole.
[Discussion] "Can't you ever just wear the first outfit you put on?"
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 119.2 lbs | 29F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:08:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phk83/cant_you_ever_just_wear_the_first_outfit_you_put/
---
My SO asks me this probably every day, and I am really having problems deciphering if my issue is ED-related or not. Like, I am an incredibly indecisive person in all aspects of life, so I'm not sure if that's why I change three to four times before I commit to clothes, or if it's rooted in my disordered eating and self image. Does anyone else do this?
Today I am working from home. I first put on a dress, but it was wrinkled near the hem, so then I changed into jeans and a blouse, but the jeans were snug in the thighs and felt like a constant reminder of how big my thighs were, so I changed into dress pants to wear with the blouse but felt stupid for looking "dressed up" to work from home alone, so I ended up in leggings and a large t-shirt.
...so, does anyone else do this? And if so, do the people in your life get angry/frustrated with you about it? How do you respond? I'm sick of always saying "I just didn't like how the other clothes looked."
[Discussion] Low sex drive as a result of restriction?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Tue Jul 25 11:08:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phk4e/low_sex_drive_as_a_result_of_restriction/
---
Does anyone else experience a loss of desire to have sex? I used to always want to have sex with my boyfriend but lately I would rather just hang out with him and watch a movie before falling asleep. I have been restricting much more lately, and have become even more preoccupied with calories than I usually am. Is it coincidental that my libido is lower as well?
[Tip] If you haven't yet... JOIN PEACH 🍑
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Tue Jul 25 10:38:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phcnw/if_you_havent_yet_join_peach/
---
It's SO AWESOME and I use it more than REDDIT now! Shoutout to all the amazing friends I have on there :)
Mine is the same as my username here if you wanna add me!
[Rant/Rave] Why am I scared to get better? This lifestyle is destroying me but I can't leave it behind.
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Tue Jul 25 10:38:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6phcn8/why_am_i_scared_to_get_better_this_lifestyle_is/
---
I feel like a full blown addict.
My nurse practitioner is really worried about me because of my weight fluctuations, and she knows my history of attempted suicides. She also controls my meds (and won't give me Vyvanse cause she knows I'll abuse it for weight loss purposes :'D) for my depression so she monitors my moods and everything.
She recently went through the trouble of setting an appointment for me for one of Michigan's BEST eating disorder specialists. She had to call doctor after doctor after doctor to get the connections and get me to the top of the 6 month waiting list. It took her an entire week for her to call me and tell me she finally got the appointment. She sounded really excited too... Anyway, that was a month ago and it was scheduled for today. I just canceled it.
My parents are very insistent on me getting treatment so I couldn't tell them I skipped it. I pretended to go to it by finding a random parking lot and sitting there for an hour and a half before going back home. Now I'm fucked because they gave me the money for the co-pay and I also use their insurance, so I need to come up with a lie for why it won't show up under it cause my insurance company sends us a bill of how much they paid for each medical related trip we make.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I feel like I can't talk about this with my friends because none of them have EDs. I actually don't know anyone in real life who struggles with it. Their response is always "just go!!!" but I feel like anyone who has ever struggled with mental health issues know how fucking hard it is to start treatment. It feels like a lose-lose situation. I fucking hate my life because of my eating disorder. It controls my life in every fucking aspect and ruins all my relationships. I do drugs to cope with the depression that comes with it – and not just weed, I do hard shit so I don't have to think about the fucking nightmare that is my reality. I started smoking cigarettes to curb my appetite. I drink Monster Zeros even though I can actually feel it affecting my heart rate. You guys probably remember me as the girl who ranted about her coworker talking shit about her body. I quit my job because I just couldn't go back and look at her, because a part of me thinks she's right and I don't deserve working there. I'm so pathetic. It was the best job I've ever worked. I even switched my major so I could continue working in a place like that, but I let my ED fucking ruin that for me.
I even have a fucking black eye right now because I decided I couldn't do this anymore and tried to hang myself by attaching a bungee cord to the roof of my car and pulling it down through my sun roof. I researched suicide for a really long time and thought I had it down, but I woke up like an hour later in the same spot with a fucking bruised face because the bungee cord snapped back and hit me. What the fuck. So now I have this shit body I hate and I also have to deal with a fucking gross face. WHAT THE FUCK? WHY GOD?!
I came home and cried to my mom, and we decided she was taking all my prescription medication and giving it to me every morning so 1. I don't try to OD and 2. To make sure I actually take it. But then I got desperate again and got Diphenhydramine from Walgreens. I took the entire bottle and tripped fucking balls. Like bugs started crawling out of my belly button and eating at my flesh, and my ex that I can't get over suddenly appeared on my bed, smiling at me, as if he was happy to see me in pain. The worst part? I knew DPH was going to put me through an emotional hell, but I still did it. Am I addicted to self destructive behavior?
Despite all of this, I can't imagine living without my ED. And I don't want to. Even though I have over a dozen people rooting me on (I have such a large support group, it's crazy...) Even now, I am sitting down at my laptop super frustrated with myself because I decided to fast for two days, and then binge ate on absolute shit last night. Now I'm holding onto five pounds of water weight and I legitimately want to take a knife and cut the fat off my stomach. What is wrong with me. What is wrong with me?!
Is anyone else like this? It would make me feel a lot better if other people could relate to me so I know I'm not alone.
**EDIT: I'm currently on the phone with my nurse practitioner trying to cancel my follow up appointment with her and she is badgering me with questions. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. She's been trying to help me get better for two years and I always randomly disappear when it's time to get serious. She sounds really mad so I put her on mute and I'm basically pretending that I'm listening to what she's lecturing me about.
[Help] My EDNOS is destroying everything in my life. Would going to a nutritionist and asking them to help me maintain be beneficial?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 10:27:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ph9z8/my_ednos_is_destroying_everything_in_my_life/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Walgreens Grocery Haul! with 180cal jerky packs and 30cal seaweed :)
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Tue Jul 25 10:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ph6g7/walgreens_grocery_haul_with_180cal_jerky_packs/
---
https://i.redd.it/4gykekysjrbz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I wrote this post yesterday, then I deleted it instead of submitting it. So now I'm posting a simplified version.
/u/demonofequality [5'5"| CW: 128 | GW: 115 | 21.89 | -22 lbs| F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 09:53:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ph15l/i_wrote_this_post_yesterday_then_i_deleted_it/
---
I bought cheese yesterday. I love cheese and it's a real weakness for me.
Not Kraft cheese or a bag of grated cheese. The speciality cheese kind of stuff. Spanish, Italian, and French cheese. Every bite jam packed with glorious flavor.
I bought $130 worth of cheese. One hundred and thirty fucking dollars....of cheese.
Then I went home and freaked out because I was terrified if I even opened it I'd eat it all.
So now it's hidden in the back of my fridge.
I literally bought a fuck ton of amazing expensive cheese only to turn around and hide it....
[Discussion] Favorite 0cal candy/gum?
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 09:47:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pgztz/favorite_0cal_candygum/
---
I usually never chew gum but I'm trying to get away from eating 5k Cal a day and I feel like the need to chew something is part of why I can't just not eat all the time, so any recommendations for flavorful candy/gum that's 0cal (and doesn't taste like aspertane)?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck telling the truth
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 09:28:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pgv3l/fuck_telling_the_truth/
---
FFS...
I went on an angry rant in my app that I log meals with that my dietician sees after skipping (errr, admitting skipping) one meal. One. And now it's talk of higher level of care over one fucking meal.
So today I had my small not meal plan sufficient breakfast, lied about it, chugged water, and am doing all the shit I shouldn't be doing to lie about how much I'm struggling. Because seriously, I'm not going back to treatment only 3 months out.
Seriously over this shit.
[Goal] Gained 0,5 kg, and I'm OK
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Tue Jul 25 09:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pgrab/gained_05_kg_and_im_ok/
---
I woke up this morning and weighed myself as usual, and saw that I had gained 0,5. Most of it was probably water weight because I didn't binge yesterday or anything, but the rising number was still scary. My first reaction was *restrictrestrictrestrict*, but then I got back in bed and decided that no, I was not gonna do what my stupid ED brain was telling me. Instead I got up, had fruit for breakfast and then a proper lunch of mixed veggies, tofu, greens and some chia/sesame seeds for nutrients. I worked out with no idea how many calories I was burning, and didn't hate it. My ED problem isn't nearly as big as many other people's, but it is a problem and I'm just so tired of it. I guess this is my attempt to once and for all get rid of this little bug in my mind that does not wanna leave me alone. I do not have a thigh gap, I do not have a perfectly flat stomach, I am not underweight and I am not perfect, but I'm getting stronger and happier and I count that as progress :)
[Discussion] The stupidest thing you ever heard about your ED/ED in general?
/u/Ofca0
Created: Tue Jul 25 08:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pgkt7/the_stupidest_thing_you_ever_heard_about_your/
---
My favourites are:
"You don't have to vomit, you know? You can just use my laxatives! The food won't even have time to digest!" -my dad after he found out about my bulimic tendencies.
"You just have too much time, and too much internet, that's why you're like this" -my mum after I told her that I think I have an ED.
Some peoples ignorance amazes me
[Rant/Rave] I can stop any time I want (lol no you can't)
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Jul 25 08:39:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pgjhj/i_can_stop_any_time_i_want_lol_no_you_cant/
---
"I'm going to start eating healthy again. I'm going to stop counting calories. I'll go paleo so that I know I'm eating healthy things and I'll lose weight without trying.
"I'll do intuitive eating at the same time so that I don't binge on paleo foods, get in touch with what my body really needs.
"I'll pin recovery quotes in my motivation board instead of thinspo. Maybe I'll stop drinking alcohol too, all those empty calories add up."
"I wonder how many calories are in this paleo lunch? Ooh that 's pretty low, sweet. Let's just stick to 700 calories today, that sounds good. Afterall, I'm way too fat to leave this all to chance."
And I'm right back where I started...
[Rant/Rave] holy shit. new low weight... in a state of shock right now
/u/burningspoke [5'0''| 88.8 lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 25 07:53:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pg93u/holy_shit_new_low_weight_in_a_state_of_shock/
---
http://imgur.com/a/0d180
i never thought I'd be able to do it.
i thought i'd be happier lol. but i just want to go further.
also, does anyone else b/p every time they hit a new low weight? i have no clue why i do.
i hope everyone's day is going well.
[Rant/Rave] family dinner tonight
/u/kittencow
Created: Tue Jul 25 07:27:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pg3o3/family_dinner_tonight/
---
cw sh
they know about my ed and everything i'm going to eat is going to be closely scrutinized. the last family dinner i attended ended with the entire table clapping and cheering when they noticed i had finished my plate (i am not in any sort of recovery), me bursting into tears, having a panic attack, leaving, and then self-harming so badly i was unable to walk for a week. haha :(
[Discussion] what's your "gold star"?
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 07:23:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pg2w6/whats_your_gold_star/
---
I know we all have goals or expectations, but what's your "gold star" thing? Like for me, it's being able to wear a standard size Channel dress. (Pref a size 4 but I'll settle for a 6.) I have the measurements for that garment on my wall and in my phone.
~~It's my ultimate fantasy. I have others, of course--don't we all? Go vintage clothes shopping and find something other than purses and shoes, be able to take a single bite in front of my mother without her giving sideeye, wear a sweater under my coat and not look like the michelin man, be able to bow my head in prayer without feeling my chin on my neck, bla bla bla--but the biggest thing, the one that just never goes away and can't be touched by any of the other things is always wearing a size 4 channel dress.~~
What about you?
**Edit:** I don't want this post to get flagged or rejected because of violating rules. Let's stick to things we'd like to be able to wear or do :) Feel free to message me if your answer falls outside that scope--I'm extra chatty today lol.
[Help] Thinking about buying my own scale. Are there any that just show your BMI when you step on it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 07:15:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pg1aa/thinking_about_buying_my_own_scale_are_there_any/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] Surprisingly decent & cheap pizza
/u/smoothcoat
Created: Tue Jul 25 07:07:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfzqc/surprisingly_decent_cheap_pizza/
---
https://i.redd.it/2mtakpmimqbz.jpg
[Tip] Solution for the beauty problems connected with restriction!!
/u/Nutx33 [5'3'' | CW:115 | GW: 105 💃🏼 | 19F 👑]
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:54:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfxfy/solution_for_the_beauty_problems_connected_with/
---
Okay I eat normally only healthy things (fruits, oats etc) but due to restricting/fasting (and drinking alcohol) I have some protein deficiency and lately had a break out, what's more my skin is dry as a dessert or sth. I read that l-lysine is very helpful (if you want to listen something more search for organic olivia YouTube channel) and ordered that about two weeks ago. GUYS it's a miracle. Like omg, in a week my skin changed SO MUCH, and lysine is cheap af, if you have dry skin/weak nails or some acne buyyyy this I swear!!
[Discussion] Reward Offered
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:49:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfwfi/reward_offered/
---
Guys- lovely lovely people of proED- HELP
I am currently 53kg. I'm trying to show myself some love and reward myself for every kilo lost. But I can't obviously eat food as a reward... and I'm hoping to lose another 8 kilos, so I can't just buy clothes because hopefully soon they won't fit!
So far I have:
50kg: belly button piercing
49kg: nice pair of laceup leather boots
48kg: cute crop top
47kg: pair of jeans
46kg: denim shorts
45kg: bikini
Please can you help me? I need some better rewards, especially for higher weights... I have a bit of money- $50-$80AUD per reward. I just need to remember my achievements along with my failures.
♥♡♥ T.A.D.
[Discussion] How are you doing today?
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:31:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfteg/how_are_you_doing_today/
---
Hi guys,
I'm struggling a bit at the moment and I thought it would be really nice to have a thread where we talk about how our days are going.
Me:
- Guy I like has JUST broken up with his girlfriend and I'm finding it REALLY hard not be selfish and not get pissy that he needs time to heal.
- I want to keep myself busy but I'm having to pack everything up and it's a massive struggle to motivate myself to any of this.
- I then have to CLEAN my flat to a professional standard. Kill me now.
- I binged last night and I hate myself. Last week was a massive bingefest for me and I think I've hopped up to 58/59kg now. I can still fit into W26 jeans, but I just feel so depressed about it and my dad is giving me grief about not eating today.
So yeah, how are you doing?
[Rant/Rave] new BMI: RIP to my fellow short people
/u/shakyjellyfish [5'2.5 | CW 105 | BMI 19.5| GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:22:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfrpp/new_bmi_rip_to_my_fellow_short_people/
---
all I want in life is an underweight BMI
thought i was only 0.4 away
surprise! i'm 1 whole BMI point away
gotta get to double digits whoo
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:11:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfpo5/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_25_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfpn9/daily_food_diary_july_25_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 25, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] A fun little survey to get to know each other ~*~*
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfplw/a_fun_little_survey_to_get_to_know_each_other/
---
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/3B728ZD
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 7.25
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:08:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfp6u/thinspiration_725/
---
http://imgur.com/a/NS2T7
[Rant/Rave] I am out of control.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Tue Jul 25 06:07:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfp16/i_am_out_of_control/
---
I keep binging BAD 3000+ EVERY 3 DAYS. I want to stop myself. I know I've been gaining weight. How long or bad has y'alls binge cycles gotten? Have I done to much damage? Flair is garbage wrong now but I'm scared of the stupid scale.
[Help] Help please??
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog
Created: Tue Jul 25 05:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pfhml/help_please/
---
I have been under 200 calories the past three days and took multiple diet pills yesterday and somehow weigh 4 lbs more than yesterday?? Ready to curl up and die.
[Goal] How long did it take for you to reach your goal?
/u/Kayla647
Created: Tue Jul 25 04:02:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pf65p/how_long_did_it_take_for_you_to_reach_your_goal/
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I am 5"6 about 119 pounds. My goal is to be at 100 but I feel that it's taking forever. I am about to start a strict fast and hope that things go smoothly and that I don't lose any hair.
If anyone does see this what were the complications you dealt with?
(Family members, hair loss, insomnia, stomach pain - etc)
[Humor] Just ate 20 sugar free werther's for dinner
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 04:01:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pf5xb/just_ate_20_sugar_free_werthers_for_dinner/
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Hello from the toilet
I will be here for a while
[Help] Does anyone have any tips for dealing with insomnia from hunger?
/u/annan4 [5'4.5" | CW 152.3 | 26.14 | -17.7 | 18F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 02:54:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pexct/does_anyone_have_any_tips_for_dealing_with/
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Sometimes I'm too hungry to fall asleep (like right now). If I don't fall asleep, I'm so much more likely to binge which is always scary and depressing, so if anyone has something that allows them to fall asleep, I would appreciate hearing about it lol.
[Discussion] what are some good movies/series/documentaries related to eating disorders?
/u/partofmeapartfromme
Created: Tue Jul 25 02:30:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6peuj8/what_are_some_good_moviesseriesdocumentaries/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6peuj8/what_are_some_good_moviesseriesdocumentaries/
what are some good movies/series/documentaries related to eating disorders?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 02:18:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pet1h/what_are_some_good_moviesseriesdocumentaries/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else pee before they weigh themselves?
/u/ReapHappiness [5'7" | 151.5 | 23.7 | 13.4lbs lost | GW1: 147lbs | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 02:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6perel/anyone_else_pee_before_they_weigh_themselves/
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(This is possibly gross/tmi) I always weigh myself in the morning and after I do, I weigh myself again after I pee and the number is always significantly lower lol... I know it's not "weight" but it's nice to see a lower number ( ◠‿◠ )
[Humor] Loquid diet.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 25 01:22:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pelvp/loquid_diet/
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https://i.redd.it/32t27n8ywobz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Cheer me up. I'm not in a good place.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jul 25 00:38:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pefpo/cheer_me_up_im_not_in_a_good_place/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I binged on 2200 calories after fasting for 5 whole days and burning 1500 each day. I feel like I'm going to be bloated and gain a lot of weight.
As if things couldn't get much worse I tried to due my hair back to a natural color from blue and pink and it just turned out like a sad rainbow it's like dark in spots and grayish purple and still blondish in my roots I feel so self conscious.
I am fat and my hair looks like shit. I guess the only silver lining is I binged on food I already had but forgot about. Also when I said fuck it and tried to order taco bell it turns outs they were closed and I can't get vegan food delivered at this time of night. (I thought taco bell was open til midnight or 1am I'm sad and happy.)
I need positive words and reassignment that I will be ok and not gain a ton or weight from this. Also don't know what to do about my hair.
Willow.
[Other] It's this kind of enabling that keeps me on track
/u/BasicallyBelle [5'5 | CW 150 | GW 113]
Created: Tue Jul 25 00:30:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6peel8/its_this_kind_of_enabling_that_keeps_me_on_track/
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https://i.redd.it/w7pnigdpnobz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] "You were such a cute kid, what went wrong?"
/u/jane_rain [5'9" | 126lbs | 26 F]
Created: Tue Jul 25 00:30:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6peejd/you_were_such_a_cute_kid_what_went_wrong/
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I'm reminded of why I don't visit my dad anymore, when he says things like that.
I used to be a tall and underweight kid. I know this is supposed to be a joke. But it just hurts :/
He also used to zoom in on my nose when filming the family at a birthday or whatever, and talk about how big my nose is. Now I'm getting a nose job, so...yeah
[Help] Help me rationalize and get out of this panic
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jul 25 00:18:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pecux/help_me_rationalize_and_get_out_of_this_panic/
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On mobile flair as rant rave also help. Flair as help.
I fasted for 5 days and burned 1500 calories each day walking plus working full time and 1500 today. 3000 calories according to Google fit app.
I just binged and did the math and my binge amounted to a little over 2000 calories. I feel like I'm going to gain a bunch of water weight and bloat and need to know if I will gain weight from this.
It seems possible that I could put on like 5 pounds of so of bloat and water but want to know how long it will last and if it will screw me over for the past few days of fasting...
WILL THIS RESULT IN WEIGHT GAIN I AM PANICKING AND IT'S THE END OF THE DAY.
I am just freaking out I want to take laxatives and purge but I know neither wpupe be a good idea. I just want someone to tell me I won't gain weight
If my maintainence is 1200 and I walked 1500 and ate like 2200 then I should theoretically be under right?
Someone comfort me I am literally crying right now...
Help Me!
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck IBS
/u/schoolgirlqt [5'6.5" |118lbs| BMI:18.8 |21F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 23:48:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pe8as/fuck_ibs/
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Honestly 50% of the reason I still struggle with my ED is because of my horrible digestive tract and extreme bloating/constipation and malabsorption which in turn absolutely disgusts me and ruins my self esteem and ability to enjoy eating. Yet the malabsorption gives me cravings non stop and I get fatigued and hungry even after a full meal. So I feel and look like shit and can't even stop eating. Ugh I just want a cure for this 😭😔
[Rant/Rave] Goodbye Mary Jane
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 23:36:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pe6mp/goodbye_mary_jane/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Do you like eating your calories in dessert or healthy things?
/u/c_ream [5'3.5 | 119 lbs | 20.7 | F | 🍠]
Created: Mon Jul 24 23:02:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pe18h/do_you_like_eating_your_calories_in_dessert_or/
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My mom went grocery shopping at Costco today and she bought so. much. stuff. Huge chocolate and poppy seed muffins, pita bread and hummus, blueberries, granola bars, 100 cal yogurt, kraft mac n cheese, chocolate covered macadamias...
I'm restricting to <600 cal a day so I'm gonna be hungry no matter what I eat, just trying to decide where my calories are best spent.
[Rant/Rave] Being thin doesn't fix all of your problems apparently
/u/amwub
Created: Mon Jul 24 22:26:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdvba/being_thin_doesnt_fix_all_of_your_problems/
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I've made an utter fool/embarrassment of myself in front of all my coworkers. Stage 5 meltdown. This isn't the first time I've ruined all of my relationships by being the selfish bitch I am. I want physically harm myself. Please help
[Humor] My brother just sent me this captioned 'vegan b-day cake.' Super not what I was thinking lol
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 22:17:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdtwb/my_brother_just_sent_me_this_captioned_vegan_bday/
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http://imgur.com/a/32etz
[Help] So I am not asking for help just pondering the logistics..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 24 22:08:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdsby/so_i_am_not_asking_for_help_just_pondering_the/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or help.
I am pretty good at fasting I can go three to five days and it feels ok but then I always binge so I have toyed with the idea of planning manages binges of lime 1500 to 2000 calories but whatever how thatd affect my overall deficit and how my body would react.
I feel like eating a lot one or two days would just raise the average for each day like 1500 for two says is maintainence for me I feel like or just above and it would make my average like 500 to 700 for the days I don't eat. None of this factors in walking or working full time in a kitchen which some estimates say I burn as much as 800 to 1000 a day working an 8 hour shift on my feet.
Does anyone else plan binge days or high restriction days?
Willow
[Discussion] medication and eating disorders?
/u/partofmeapartfromme
Created: Mon Jul 24 22:02:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdr7s/medication_and_eating_disorders/
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people on any medication, do you find that it affects your eating disorder? i'm on 150 mg of zoloft and when i stop taking it for a week, i start a binge/purge cycle. then i start taking it again and i have no interest in eating anything, i can easily eat >1000 calories a day and i can't binge if i tried. just wondering if anyone can relate or i'm just weird 😂
[Discussion] What's the average age of everyone here?
/u/MidnightStorms_
Created: Mon Jul 24 22:00:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdr1k/whats_the_average_age_of_everyone_here/
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I'm about to turn 22, and have lurked for so long. I got worried that everyone here is super young and teenagers, and then I felt out of place. So I wanna check before I start actually being active haha
[Rant/Rave] I'm all lost in the super market I can no longer shop happily (quoting song by the Clash)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 24 21:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdqp3/im_all_lost_in_the_super_market_i_can_no_longer/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I'm still fasting and walking a ton and feel scares to eat even though I've probably walked 1000 calories or so today who knows.
I caught myself doing the most ED thing. Picking up things I wanted to eat. Looking at the calories and mentally binging. Thumping through food like most people do magazines and each time telling myself it's not worth it. Up to and including a 1lb. Bag of steamable veggies that was 150 calories for the whole bag and at this point it seems to much.
I hope this doesn't end in a binge. I bought diet vegan cream soda and diet cranberry juice to tide me over. I also plan on doing my hair again to occupy time when I get home. Seeing people shop made me feel anxious cause I feel scares to shop in public I usually only buy things early or late in the day when hardly anyone is there. With my parents home tonight I probably won't be eating also I have no food.
End rant rave.
Willow
[Help] Weight faking? (I'm sorry, I'm so lame and basic)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 21:56:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdq8c/weight_faking_im_sorry_im_so_lame_and_basic/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Don't want to scare off my therapist
/u/50shadesofskinny
Created: Mon Jul 24 21:51:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdpfa/dont_want_to_scare_off_my_therapist/
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Literally I've devolved more and more since I met her about 6 weeks ago. After session one, I got kidnapped and raped (yeah idk fuck my life wish I had just been murdered but I'm here so anyway) so session 2 was like "hey, uhhhh so I am now traumatized on top of just being a depressed piece of shit" and then since then every session gets more and more difficult and annoying because instead of getting better I feel like I'm just more depressed and more self destructive. I started this just trying to fight my anxiety better and work on self love. Now I hate myself so much I had to do a phone session with her while she's on vacation just because I couldn't hold my shit together for an extra week. I had a suicide attempt two weeks ago and I was too scared to tell her how far it went and that my boyfriend had to break into the locked bathroom yank pills out of my hand when I was drunk that night. This is the first time I've found a therapist I actually really like and now I'm so scared I'm going to scare her off and I'll never get any help and it sucks even more because I know logically she won't like "fire" me and she even says so, but I'm holding back because I'm scared anyway which means less progress and it's a vicious cycle. I barely started to bring up my ED tendencies today and immediately played it all off like a big joke because I'm scared it'll be the straw that breaks the camels back, you know? That or she will think I'm an attention seeking idiot because I'm not even thin, so I can't really have a very severe ED (just in my own eyes about myself, anyway). Why am I swirling in self hate all the time and side note, why am I not losing any fucking weight despite so much fasting and restricting that literally my bones ache lately. Fuck!!!
[Tip] Kelp???
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 21:39:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdnb1/kelp/
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Looking up healthy foods for weight loss and low calories it looks like kelp might be super awesome for helping that out! Here's some info if any of you want to look into it.
http://imgur.com/a/5XTTK
I know there's tons of other foods like this but imo, kale sucks and tastes like a shoe, where as kelp can be a powder put in a smoothie or whatever.
Anyways, adios and good luck
[Discussion] What's your opinion on La Croix sparking waters?
/u/PmMeNiceGenitals
Created: Mon Jul 24 21:03:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdgsn/whats_your_opinion_on_la_croix_sparking_waters/
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So I don't like them even though they taste gross but it gives me the satisfaction of drinking soda. I get a slight hint of flavor but that's it. What are you guys opinion of the drink?
Edit: I ask this because I decided to try them a couple days ago.
[Rant/Rave] I hurt myself today and it feels so unreal
/u/Soybeansandsprouts
Created: Mon Jul 24 20:33:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pdbcw/i_hurt_myself_today_and_it_feels_so_unreal/
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Today was the first day I've ever successfully purged. Right now I'm sitting at the table and feel like the world is moving around me and I'm just this empty shell. I've tried a dozen or more times over the past few years since i first developed anorexia in HIgh school and just assumed I wasn't capable of it. I relapsed pretty hard earlier this month and I'm almost underweight again. This weekend I hung out with friends so I bought chips and cookies and all these other treats I had forbidden. I had half a bag of chips left and most of a package of Oreos but I put themt IN THE TRASHCAN this morning. Why didn't I take them out as I left for work????knowing me the only way I wouldn't have gotten to them Was if dumped bleach on them or got them out of the house
So I fasted until dinner where I ate veggies and some fruit <300 calories and then went for those damn chips. I had maybe 1/3- 1/2 of the bag and maybe 15-20 Oreos (not even the entire Oreo but like half of the cookie and the icing as tho that was any better ??) and was so mad that this was the third day in a row I had eaten them. So I once again tried to purge and this time I succeed. It was the worst thing I can remember putting my body through. Oh my god it was so horrifying. Saliva and puke everywhere and I know I scratched my throat with my nail but I just kept going. I'd pause, breathe, wipe my face, drink some water, jump around, then tell myself, okay you'll stop after you puke one more time
But I didn't. It was so hard too. At one point, I walked to the bathroom and saw how red and swollen my face was, then walked back to the trashcan and stared into the kitchen. I was completely dazed. For like 5 minutes I just stood there and stared into the kitchen. I felt drugged, I felt like I wasn't even alive, even my throat was numb. So what did I do? I puked for another 5 minutes more then took the trash out and showered. I think it was like 1.5 hours that I tried to get the food out. Now I'm just sitting here trying to play video games to take my mind off things but I can't. I never thought this was possible. I just don't know what to do anymore. I got out maybe- over half of the binge? Idk chips came up first and the chocolate was sooo nasty. I feel like a stranger. There's no way I'm putting myself through that again omygosh it was a nightmare. To all of you out there who struggle with this regularly, I hope your day was better than mine. I'm so sorry, I still can't imagine what that's like.
[Intro] introduction // hi guys
/u/seattlesundown [25F, GW 110, 5'4"]
Created: Mon Jul 24 20:24:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pd9lw/introduction_hi_guys/
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Hey there. Occasional lurker finally made an account and would really love to connect with some others.
Im 25/F and have had ED tendencies since I was in middle school. More off than on though. But, most recently i've gone back to extreme restricting. July 4th I found out i'll be going to the east coast in August to spend 9 days on vacation with my boyfriends family. July 5th through now i've not eaten more than 500 cals a day. I refuse to be fat for this.
So my current problem is two fold, lose as much weight as possible before vacation and don't gain it back while on vacation. Any tips for on vacation are greatly appreciated. I'm not too worried about binging but more so that we'll be having a lot of family dinners and celebrations, and I don't want to look weird for not eating or for not eating certain things.
On another note, where else do people connect these days? Someone let this old soul know. Also raise your hand if you were on the LiveJournal scene circa...idk...2005? hah.
xx
[Rant/Rave] "wow..calorie Aspergers"
/u/nchlaz [5'11 | 137 | 18.5 | -70 | M]
Created: Mon Jul 24 20:22:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pd940/wowcalorie_aspergers/
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of course he know how many calories is in his favorite candy bar. and jesus is lucus a perv... even when eli did the aspergers thing in the beginning she didnt account for any of the oil her step mom maybe used in the pan or anything. any time i get a home cooked meal i panic and want to cry because its so impossible to know. like it wouldve been a great moment to show that terror. idk. and i dont know how her sister supposedly fact checked it with her phone? im watching this for the second time and i know this is such a dumb thing to focus on but ugh. i just roll my eyes a lot watching this.
i know theres hella threads on this movie but i still cant believe someone with an eating disorder made this. im sure to some people on here its really relatable but i guess just not for me. the only part that i "liked" was when she stepped off the scale and her eyes lit up and she had to hide her smile. that high from seeing a new lw is amazing
[Rant/Rave] How a Netflix movie ruined my recovery
/u/SaltNotCoke
Created: Mon Jul 24 20:16:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pd7x1/how_a_netflix_movie_ruined_my_recovery/
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Edit: I'm on mobile and tried flairing as rant/rave but not sure if it worked!! So if mods could help a girl out that'd be awesome.
I recently got out of a very intensive inpatient/outpatient program. (UPMC's for any of my fellow pittsburghers out there!!) and I've been doing pretty okay.
I had to drop out of the college I was attending and transfer to one near home since I can't be alone or I'll just go right back to square one.
I live with both of my (super supportive) parents and they've been making sure I've been eating on a regular basis and have tried helping my through my issues by buying all my safe foods, not pressuring me too much to eat more at dinner, and just generally being really great.
I've been getting weighed every week by my mom also so and I lost about 3 lb going out of outpatient but have maintained ever since. However, my mom isn't going to weigh me this week since I told her I weighed myself and it's the same as always.
But a few days ago I (stupidly) decided to watch To The Bone and it triggered me more than anything ever has. I felt like a fraud because I wasn't as skinny as Lily was and I thought she looked so beautiful throughout the movie. I related to a lot of her behaviors and things she said so I just felt like I COULD be her if I wanted, and not in a recovery way.
I haven't fasted since going impatient and I haven't eaten since seeing the movie and forgot how GOOD it made me feel. My stomach has been rumbling all day and I just feel so euphoric and clean and light.
I know that eating disorders are fragile and it can just be something seemingly insignificant that triggers a relapse but I can't believe what triggered me to go back into my fasting hole was a MOVIE. And one with a cringey love story at that.
I'm so disappointed in myself, but now that I've been in this hole, I can't find the willpower to get out of it again. I secretly wanted this relapse and now that I have it I don't want to let go.
[Help] Worried about hospitalization
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 20:05:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pd5rs/worried_about_hospitalization/
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[deleted]
[Other] [other] eating at maintenance makes me feel like i'm overeating and gaining weight
/u/thukui [my goal is to be the fat member of a kpop group]
Created: Mon Jul 24 20:03:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pd5fb/other_eating_at_maintenance_makes_me_feel_like_im/
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[removed]
[Help] Ate a total of 900-1000 calories in one day after fasting for two days?
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 19:50:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pd2uf/ate_a_total_of_9001000_calories_in_one_day_after/
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I just gave in and binged on shit that I saw in my kitchen and now I'm worried that I gained a lot of weight since all I've been doing is restricting by only eating 300 calories a day as well as fasting 3-4 times a week! I'm planning on vigorously going on my stationary bike for 2 and a half hours which MFP says will make me lose 1,312 calories and then the day afterwards I'm just going to continue on restricting. Please help me and tell me if what I'm doing is wrong as well as if it's possible that I'm going to gain weight from all the food that I ate.?
[Rant/Rave] Thanks for the comparison 🙂🙃
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 19:43:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pd1ce/thanks_for_the_comparison/
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I mentioned to the guy I'm casually dating that I knew the calories in 1 almond. He said "oh, I dated a girl like that. It doesn't bother me"
WOW SO GLAD
brb never eating for the rest of my fucking life
[Help] Discord says I don't have permission to chat in that channel. Help...?
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Mon Jul 24 19:21:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcx86/discord_says_i_dont_have_permission_to_chat_in/
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[removed]
I am a garbage person
/u/dietchardonnay
Created: Mon Jul 24 19:00:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pct3i/i_am_a_garbage_person/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] How the FUCK do people eat this much every day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 18:46:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcqan/how_the_fuck_do_people_eat_this_much_every_day/
---
I really hope this doesn't come across as judgemental, but I'm just ranting sorry
Today I had kind of a "controlled binge", so I binged but still counted calories. I had about 2500.
Guys my stomach HURTS. I feel so full I feel like I'm going to throw up
[Goal] My plan for the rest of the summer
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 18:43:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcpnk/my_plan_for_the_rest_of_the_summer/
---
Hey guys! This is just gonna be a lot of writing, I just want to get my goals out in writing because it helps me. It'll be kinda boring.
So, school starts for me in 25 days. Until then, I'm going to get up to run every morning with my dog and burn 100 calories.
For breakfast I'll have coffee, black and no sugar, and for lunch I won't eat, but I'll have another cup of coffee.
I'll get home from work, and make 12 flashcards for academic bowl, and study Hebrew for 45 minutes.
If I don't do this, I won't get my afternoon snack. This afternoon snack is 1 apple and 1 yogurt, which totals exactly 200 calories. I can only have this at 4 PM or later. That puts me at 100 calories for the day.
At dinner, I eat with my parents, so I'll have around 500 calories. That puts me at 600. Then at 9 PM, I'll have my vitamins, which are 15 calories.
So 615 total, for the day.
If I follow this plan every week, on Fridays I can "binge" on one pint of Halo Top, which is 320 calories. So fridays I'll have 935 calories. If I DONT follow this plan, I don't get my snack friday, and I have to burn 200 calories in the morning
So if my TDEE is 1800, or 12600 per week, and I eat 4625 per week, thats a 7975 deficit per week, and that multiplied my 3.57 weeks is 28471. Divided by 3500, that's 8.1 lbs. By my first day of school I should weigh 105. I will be so much happier
By the end of this I'll also have 300 notecards for academic bowl, and 18.75 hours of Hebrew
If you read this far down lol thanks
Just wanted to get this off my chest
[Rant/Rave] I totally messed up
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Mon Jul 24 18:28:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcms4/i_totally_messed_up/
---
I just moved across the world a few days ago for study, and this was supposed to be the life changing experience that cured me. Albeit unrealistic, I thought at the least it would be good for me.
I've been here for only a few days, and I started drinking today at 8am and am about to buy a binge meal at McDonalds.. (Already ate leftover takeout this morning too).
I worked so hard all summer to look good and I'm about to screw it up in the first week. Not to mention totally ruining my experience by binge eating and drinking and feeling depressed. I'm so sad because I feel like I've already tainted my experience here and started off on the wrong foot which could throw off my whole stay here.
I thought I would recover from everything while I was here lol. I'm just venting.. Words of encouragement would be appreciated because I am pathetic and lonely.
[Discussion] Losing weight everywhere except my arms?
/u/YourChinaDoll
Created: Mon Jul 24 18:19:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pckwl/losing_weight_everywhere_except_my_arms/
---
First of all, thanks for reading this! So I've starting working out pretty regularly and I've been loving the changes, toning up and slimming down--except my arms! I still feel like my arms look the same as when I was obese. Will they eventually lose weight, just last maybe? Obviously I work my legs more just in general life so I can see how they tone up easier, but I feel like at this point it's just getting ridiculous. DAE have an experience like this?
[Rant/Rave] Trigger warning: suicide and shit
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 18:06:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pci4e/trigger_warning_suicide_and_shit/
---
Cutting isn't enough anymore. Everyone around me has gotten used to it. So I want to kill myself. But I want to do it through starvation/restriction. Because people comment if you're skinny and especially if you're emaciated. According to calorie calculators on the internet, I can lose 1 lb a week if I eat below 1200 calories. So I can hopefully be around 100 lbs by the end of the year. And, at 5'9", that will really worry people.
I'm alone. I think things are finally going to end for real between me and my boyfriend and only friend, and, while I hate to be "that girl" that gets suicidal over a relationship, I feel like you all won't judge me for it. It's just like, I don't wanna try anymore. I've been inpatient 3 times in the last year, and it (obviously) hasn't helped in any lasting way. Having meaningful relationships is what I want most, but now I won't have any at all. And it's so fucking hard.
I **want** to kill myself.
But I won't actually do it. I know I won't. I've thought about it A LOT, trust me, and I know I couldn't go through with it.
I just don't know how handle all of this.
[Help] ok so purging q (tw)
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 105| 17.5 | gw 104 | ugw 98]
Created: Mon Jul 24 17:54:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcfsu/ok_so_purging_q_tw/
---
DAE get like little red spots under their eyes after purging? its just like my undereyes, the really thin skin there
i dont know how to describe it ... sort of like micro bruises like burst blood vessels or something. it's happened a few times generally after ive kind of strained myself while purging
im mostly asking this to reassure myself that im not like about to die.
[Goal] You guys are the only ones who would understand 💪🏾
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 17:49:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcex5/you_guys_are_the_only_ones_who_would_understand/
---
Today I'm going to eat 750 calories and then work it all off at the gym tonight. Then I'll have a light dinner with my husband 😍
I have my multivitamins and vitamin water as well as planning on drinking a lot of actual water. Fuck you headaches. Not today!
My plan is to do this every day that I don't have to study. I can't even tell you guys how excited and in control of my life I feel.
[Other] Any other moms out there?
/u/penny2cents [5'11" | 115.6 lbs | 16.1 BMI | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 17:42:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcdf4/any_other_moms_out_there/
---
I'd love to have a WhatsApp or Discord chat going
Edit: I guess I'm just wondering if anyone would be interested in a group chat of some kind.
I am a member of another really fantastic group chat but I can't relate to a lot of their lives because I'm a mom in a committed relationship and am trying to find more people juggling mom life and ED.
Let me know which app is best and I can get a group chat going!
[Other] I wish I cared
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 17:40:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pcd13/i_wish_i_cared/
---
I give up.
I really wanted to believe I could recover. I wanted to believe that it was possible for me and that I deserved it. But it's getting too hard. To the point where I am doing everything I can and it's still not enough. That the world seems to have a way to put up roadblocks for me that my team thinks I should be able to magically work around. And I'm getting real sick and tired of jumping through hoops of fire just to meet my meal plan (busted car having to take rideshares to appointments and busted fridge having to meet my meal plan with nonperishable items for a month).
To top it all off, having intense shit pop up at a time when I need to be able to shut it down easily... it's like I'm dealing with a shit storm like no other. I didn't expect this process to be easy, but for fucks sake this is nearly comical how ridiculous this is getting. I don't want to deal with the fact that my flesh prison has been used and thrown away more than once by other people. And then be reminded in art form weekly. It's just too fucking much.
I want control over this shitty flesh prison I'm stuck in. I'm done trying anymore. I want the comfort of numbers and figures. Calorie counts and weight. It makes sense to me. And my goal is to get past my lowest to see if I can. To see if I can be strong enough to at least accomplish SOMETHING. Because right now I just feel like a useless waste of space that's just a failure.
I can't be a failure anymore.
[Other] So this is what happens at 1am when I binge and feel bad....
/u/elliebearrrr [5'5.5" | SW:175lbs CW:158lbs GW1:154lbs | 25.9 | -17lbs | F21]
Created: Mon Jul 24 17:39:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pccra/so_this_is_what_happens_at_1am_when_i_binge_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/jb3w1vzemmbz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Missing: 5lbs overnight ?!?!?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 17:26:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pca3l/missing_5lbs_overnight/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Recovery is hard
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 17:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pc69k/rantrave_recovery_is_hard/
---
I've been trying to eat a normal amount of calories for about a week now and I wasn't prepared for the mental anguish that accompanies it. I look in the mirror and all I can see is a fat blob even though I know logically that I couldn't have gained any weight. I made the mistake of trying to go bathing suit shopping again today and now I don't even want to go on vacation because if I can't even see myself in a mirror without wanting to die, there's no way I could be in front of my family in a bathing suit. And the more I look at myself the more I realise that my issues with my body aren't fixable with just weight loss. It's bone structure and width and all sorts of things I have very little ability to do anything over and that loss of hope feels crushing because at least when I thought it was about weight things looked like they might get better. But I'll always have fat, short, stumpy legs and low hips. And that feels so completely unacceptable to me. I don't know what to do now. I need to seem normal for my family this week because I'm the only one who can hold our situation together... but I can't even hold myself together.
[Other] As a cashier, I can tell.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 16:53:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pc2ye/as_a_cashier_i_can_tell/
---
[deleted]
I want to see your grocery cart
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 16:19:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbv6i/i_want_to_see_your_grocery_cart/
---
http://i.imgur.com/0I1sYH6.jpg
[Rant/Rave] your hair will begin to thin and fall out and so will ur eyebrows it's happening to me i'm going to try to recover on my own i'm so afraid of getting fat again i'm still fat but my body needs fuel just wanted to share pls be careful and take care of yourselves
/u/iloveufionaapple
Created: Mon Jul 24 16:05:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbs8a/your_hair_will_begin_to_thin_and_fall_out_and_so/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbs8a/your_hair_will_begin_to_thin_and_fall_out_and_so/
[Rant/Rave] Went to the doctor about bruises...
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Mon Jul 24 16:00:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbqxs/went_to_the_doctor_about_bruises/
---
Got blood work done and they set up therapy. Doctor said I have disordered eating... I'm not even at a low weight yet. Family is getting worried too. I went from 182lbs to 140 lbs in 5 months. Also now I'm scared shitless that I have cancer. Please tell me some of you have a lot of bruises 😥
[Humor] When it's your birthday but you're also restricting
/u/waveparticleduality [5' 4" | CW:Ew | 26.61 | -10.5 | F | 22]
Created: Mon Jul 24 15:59:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbqvu/when_its_your_birthday_but_youre_also_restricting/
---
https://i.redd.it/b1ft6oam4mbz.jpg
[Help] Resources for boyfriends
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 15:48:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbo0c/resources_for_boyfriends/
---
My boyfriend told our other flatmate that he was struggling to find any decent resources for helping me with my recovery. Has anyone or your partners ever found anything good and can you hit me up?
[Goal] Finally hit 110, only 10 more pounds until my UGW!
/u/haldr912
Created: Mon Jul 24 15:35:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbkzk/finally_hit_110_only_10_more_pounds_until_my_ugw/
---
https://i.redd.it/c21vk2ac0mbz.jpg
[Thinspo] Favorite thinspo music videos?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 24 15:27:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbj5n/favorite_thinspo_music_videos/
---
Bonus if they are good workout songs.
[Other] tag yourself i'm bagel bites
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 15:19:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbhcj/tag_yourself_im_bagel_bites/
---
https://i.redd.it/i9uf5s6hxlbz.png
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Setting myself on fire is theoretically another way to burn calories
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|154.8 lbs lbs|24.6|20F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 15:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbfdm/rant_setting_myself_on_fire_is_theoretically/
---
I have been binge eating the past three days. The first two I wasn't quit upset cause I still had a deficit. But yesterday I went to a birthday party.
I said, hey one beer won't kill me?
One beer turned into 15 :-))))))))))))
15 beers turned into 3 slices of pizza :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
On top If everything I had earlier that day, I had a whopping 4704 calories yesterday. I feel SO disgusting. I feel pretty disgusting and kinda lonely so I just wanted to post here :/// I'm hoping this week can still be salvaged if I liquid fast and do HIIT workouts but I still feel disgusting.
[Rant/Rave] Goodnight everybody!<3
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Mon Jul 24 15:01:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pbd6c/goodnight_everybody3/
---
I ate a little too much today, but that doesn't mean I'm going to binge. I'm going to go sleep, because walking 16 miles has made my body very tired. Tomorrow, I'm going to get back on track. I'm going to have some nice safe tuna, and I'm going to forget today ever happened.
Goodnight :)
[Intro] hi hi hi!
/u/bambichanel [5'3 | 156 | 27.63 | ~30 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 14:51:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pban7/hi_hi_hi/
---
i've probably posted here before, but i'll post here with my introduction again.
i'm 19. i'm 5'3". this all started sophomore year, about 4 years ago, and i was 152 pounds. i wanted to be 125 so bad. i don't know what it is with me. i don't want to be too thin but i don't want to be me? i don't know.
i'm in college now. i don't know why it kicked back up again. it's really on and off. i go through cycles of binge eating like CRAZY and then not eating at all. it used to be a month of binge eating, and then a month of heavy restricting. now it's like... days in between. 6 days heavy restricting, and 1 day binging. it's a cycle.
i went from 150 to 185 during my freshman year. it made me feel like shit. i carry my weight all in my stomach and thighs, and a little in my ass. it just looked disgusting. i hated that part of me so much.
on may 2nd, i came back home from school, and i decided that i needed change. i went from 185 to 157 from may to now, july 24. i feel like it would've been more, but hey. i keep yoyo-ing from 154-157 and i just want to go past that so I can go to 140.
i've been 5'3" for...years, however. 154 looks skinnier on me than 152 did sophomore year. i don't know what it is!
anyway, nice to meet you all. sorry for lack of uppercase -- it fits in with my detached, disinterested and aloof persona haha.
[Help] Anxiety and flighty feeling
/u/SwissMissintheClouds [5' 8" | CW 149 | 23% | GW 128]
Created: Mon Jul 24 14:38:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pb7ow/anxiety_and_flighty_feeling/
---
I've wanted to restrict for a long time and tried awhile ago but lost access to MyFitnessPal which made it almost impossible to track my intake.
I just got a new phone that has access to the app and have been tracking my calories for over a week. But I've noticed that when I restrict to 1000 calories (which isn't even that low!) I become really fidgety, my anxiety comes back, I feel disoriented often, etc etc.
Does anyone else get this way when restricting? Or have similar experiences? Does anything help?
I want to continue (aka start) to lose weight but this is getting in the way of my school work.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Jul 24 14:21:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pb3kh/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/k2svn725nlbz.jpg
[Other] I've been using the old BMI for so long, I don't trust the new one. [other]
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 14:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pb3k7/ive_been_using_the_old_bmi_for_so_long_i_dont/
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The new one puts me at 20.59 instead of 21.12. I calculate my BMI everday, have been for 2 years now, and I refuse to believe that I'm in the 20's.
[Rant/Rave] "Why aren't you eating dinner lately?"
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Mon Jul 24 14:20:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pb3cp/why_arent_you_eating_dinner_lately/
---
My mom keeps asking me this and continues to make food i can't easily calculate the calories of. Today she's making some kind of turkey and sausage chili. I don't like it anyway but here I am and I haven't eaten all day, and I have no idea what to make myself. I feel like whatever food I think of I imagine the taste in my mouth and then I'm not in the mood for it! So frustrated right now.
[Rant/Rave] I'm sorry my fucking depression is a inconvenience to you [RANT]
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 14:06:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6paznx/im_sorry_my_fucking_depression_is_a_inconvenience/
---
( This rant turned out longer than I thought it would, I started to angry halfway through it :/ ) Sorry I didn't want to get out of bed and play pokemon go with you before you had to go to work. You were doing exactly what I'm doing now last month and I did everything to try and make you feel better.
How do you react? By telling me "You can just go home now, I don't even want you here anymore tbh". Then not say anything when I started walking. Its been 30 mintues, no text at all. No love you, I'm sorry, or no have a good day at work. Fucking nothing.
I've lost 10lbs in like 2 weeks and you know this. I tell you my weight everyday. My goal weights always been 145, and now its 130. You act like you don't even give a shit. Your response is just okay, you lose that much I'll gain whatever you lose. He says this to piss me off.
TMI PART-
Sorry I don't want to fucking have sex. I'm depressed, I feel disgusting. You still try to at least once a day, you can see in my eyes that I don't want to. You still try to push it until I turn away. Every time I see it in your eyes that it upsets you, that it makes you sad. That literally does nothing but make me feel more like shit. Its been like 2, maybe 3 days since the last time we had sex but you're acting like its the end of the fucking world.
Last night you wanted to have a "special night" or whatever after the concert we went to. My stomach hurt the entire concert and I was already sleeping on the way back. So when I didn't want to fuck that surprised you? Waking up this morning when I asked you what was wrong the first thing you said to me was "I'm fine I'm just really disappointing in how last night went."
Sorry I'm just the biggest fucking inconvenience.
[Tip] BlueDragonfly's message board still exists!
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Mon Jul 24 13:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pawoa/bluedragonflys_message_board_still_exists/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate my situation right now
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Mon Jul 24 13:40:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6patdm/i_hate_my_situation_right_now/
---
Periods have been gone for half a year now. In May I went to see our school doctor to ask about them (back then I didn't know losing weight could make them go away) and she said I should gain a few pounds and after summer we'll check the situation.
You might guess that there's no way I intent to gain those pounds. Over summer I've gained like four (or however much 2 kilos is in pounds) and now I've managed to lose them and plan to get all the way to ~94, which means 5 kilos/11 pounds to go. But school starts soon and I'll have to go to see her again, and I'm afraid of what she's going to say when she sees I've not gained but lost weight...and I still haven't got my period which would be nice to have but I definitely won't be able to make myself gain any weight... I dunno I'm just feeling lost and I don't know what to do
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Weird sick feeling whenever I hear/read about eating disorders
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Mon Jul 24 13:12:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pamsh/rantrave_weird_sick_feeling_whenever_i_hearread/
---
So since about 4th grade I've had really bad body image, and I would eat a lot of junk food but I never purged or was anorexic. I didn't start counting calories/restricting/occasionally purging until 2 years ago.
Also this post isn't meant to offend anyone, I know I have a fucked up relationship with food so I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad about their ED.
But I have a vivid memory of watching a movie in health class in 8th grade about a girl with bulimia. I remember getting violently nauseous during the movie and had the leave the room because I felt like I was gonna faint. I went to the nurse and I was so white and was hot and cold at the same time.
I've never had that bad of a feeling again, but ever since I joined this page recently, I get a slight nauseous and uncomfortable feeling when reading the posts on this page.
Does anyone know what's up with this? Sometimes I think it's because watching/reading this stuff hits close to home when other times I feel disgusted and can't relate to certain posts and I'm like "oh if I react this way I probably don't have an eating disorder." Idk, I know it's some weird mental thing but I can't figure it out.
[Rant/Rave] Fiancee dealt with some trauma over the weekend and wants to cope by eating
/u/then_she_said [5'7 | -41 | 27F | UGW: 135]
Created: Mon Jul 24 13:03:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pakis/fiancee_dealt_with_some_trauma_over_the_weekend/
---
...and I kind of want to enable him if it will make him feel better for even a minute, but we both binged so hard this weekend and I didn't let myself purge because I didn't want to upset him any more.
Basically his dad is an alcoholic and the alcoholism is going to kill him sooner rather than later. My SiL got married this weekend, and their dad came to the wedding, his first time leaving the house in over a year so it was a really big to-do. As soon as he got there, my fiancee had to wheel him straight to the bathroom where he was sick for almost a half hour, and then stayed in his wheelchair sipping water and not really talking to anyone. I talked to my MiL and asked her to drive him back home (a 90-minute drive) because everyone was so stressed out and uncomfortable. My BiL's anxiety was almost out of control, my fiancee was crying in the bathroom, and my SiL was crying in the middle of the party. My poor MiL (they're divorced, but she still takes care of him) drove him back home and I guess he was sick a few more times in the car. She texted me last night (I'm pretty sure she was drunk) that he had refused to eat anything all day and had only drank beer before the drive, and that she knew he was going to ruin the big day and she was really sad because she never gets to go out because she has to take care of him and she had wanted to stay the whole night and celebrate with everyone.
My fiancee has a really good relationship with his dad, and I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for him to be in the bathroom with him while he was that sick. I also know he's mad at his dad, and at his mom for not being more sympathetic, and at his sister for insisting he go to the wedding, and now he's stressing out about our upcoming wedding in October because neither of us want a repeat of Saturday. He won't talk to me about what happened, but did say that he just wants to eat all the shit food he can and hibernate for the rest of his life (which I SO feel).
I kind of want to go pick up all his favorite foods and have them at home for him when he gets out of work, and just cuddle him and watch dumb TV and make him laugh, but yesterday we literally did exactly that and I consumed more than 5000 calories between the alcohol and the snacks. And then I didn't want to purge because I didn't want to force my fiancee to hear me vomiting when he had dealt with it in such a traumatic way literally the night before, so I kept it all in and was 6 lbs heavier this morning. I'm determined to get back on track for the rest of the week with my circuit training classes and counting calories, because I can't let this de-rail my progress, and I know that if my fiancee is hanging out eating junk food then I'll either get really bitter and jealous towards him, or I'll join him, both of which are terrible.
I'm drinking laxative tea at work this afternoon, and really just trying to decide what I should do for him. Ideally I would just get the f&ck over myself and buy him 18 lbs of Reeses Sticks and potato chips, but I think the residual stress that *I'm* feeling from the weekend is making me more anxious about food than usual.
I know this was long. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about what happened since my fiancee doesn't want to talk and I don't really want to tell my friends or family because it's kind of embarrassing and also really, really personal (plus my MiL already feels embarrassed in front of my parents because they're both upper-class, well-educated, and fit, and she is not, and I just feel like it's not my story to tell).
So thanks for reading all of this, if you did, and if not I don't blame you haha and here's a **tl;dr:** fiancee and I dealt with some shit over the weekend and he wants to hibernate and eat. We basically did that all day yesterday and I just can't do it anymore. I know that if we have binge food in the house then I will be bitter and mean about it, but I just want to comfort him.
[Rant/Rave] Stupid Rant: Friends with EDs vs you and your ED brain
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Mon Jul 24 12:41:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6paf7j/stupid_rant_friends_with_eds_vs_you_and_your_ed/
---
One of my really good friends has had a history of bulimia but mostly BED, so she's pretty obese. For one, does anyone else feel slight annoyance when a medically obese person calls themselves "overweight"? I haven't said anything to her because I realize she's being euphemistic, but this weekend we got pretty stoned and I thought OK, like we're going to have some diet Sonic drinks and a shawarma sandwich and it's OKAY because I have been restricting and today is my "binge" day as long as I don't go over like 3000 calories, whatever.
Btw we have made promises that a) we're not going to encourage destructive behavior and b) we're not going to go too far into restriction, not going to purge anymore etc etc.
I mean I'm doing pretty well, eating shawarma and shit and drinking can after can of Coke Zero because what else do you do, but then there's a knock at the door and she ordered an x-large pizza? And garlic bread knots?
Okay sure, I'll have some it's okay, this is my only day to eat "normally"--but the pizza is cut into super huge portions. About the size of a fucking piece of 8x11 paper. Okay whatever. We all binge. Okay. I don't want to say anything because she didn't eat anything yesterday and not really anything the day before that so whatever.
But then she finishes basically all of the cinnamon twists (they gave us a free one because they fucked up with our pizza), and *takes the rest of the cream and eats it with her fingers.*
I don't want to be a huge shit but later in the night I get pissy because she wants to keep loading a pipe with my weed but I vape because it helps me get more out of each bowl, we just used a pipe because she had never tried it before.
Like idk it was just the cherry on top for gluttony for me, because a) the pipe was greasy from pizza fingers, b) she complains about not being high enough and says that the vape doesn't work, but I don't want to tell her that she might just need to smoke more because she's idk like over 200lbs and c) she hates the taste of the pipe after vaping, as do I, but still wants to pack more into the pipe. idk.
So yah, not going to bring my entire stash because I can't trust her not to dip into it.
Also, does anyone else feel disgusted by gluttony like this? Just the mindless eating freaks me TF out, because I don't want to be like that. I know that we're stoned, but still. I brought an entire pack of coke zero and other healthy stuff and we even got shawarma sandwiches to treat ourselves, but she still ordered pizza without telling me. She knows that pizza and eating a lot bothers me. =( Lowkey I feel like she wants me to be fat? idfk.
I just feel like such a fucked up person for being disgusted; she's my friend and I should help her, I just. I felt so gross having to disinfect my stuff and wipe off all the pizza grease from it. =/
[Rant/Rave] I just binged...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:46:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6pa126/i_just_binged/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Fat Influences
/u/fridacaldo
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:32:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9xk8/fat_influences/
---
[removed]
[Help] Got new 'scripts: anyone have experience?
/u/Suusss
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:23:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9va2/got_new_scripts_anyone_have_experience/
---
So my doc finally listened to me and took me off the SNRI spectrum of anti-deps.. so now after a psychiatrist meeting, I have new funpills as my happyfriends to get rid of the sadthoughts that make up my mortal fabric.
anyway. Obviously I care about how this is going to affect my ED brain... and I'm terrified that if I take my meds I will get fat loool
so what are people's experience with SSRIs?
I got prescribed Fluoxetine (prozac/sarafem) for depression and OCD behaviours, Sertraline (zoloft) for panic attacks and PTSD (sexual assault), and a fun little candy named Aripiprazole (Abilify) for schizophrenia woop woop.
On the script sheet they gave me, the Fluoxetine says it treats 'eating problems'... does anyone know what that means? This drug has a side effect of "a big weight gain or loss" BUT WHICH ONE IS IT?? Sertaline is along the same lines, but it implies loss of appetite. I'm freaking out about the actual side effects that will happen to me... i'm so fucked... I'm probably not going to take the anti-schiz if it make me gain weight...
If anyone knows anything about these drugs so I can know how I feel before I talk to my doctor lemme knoooww
[Discussion] 0 cal miracle noodles delusions
/u/Silverhope14
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:21:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9v1m/0_cal_miracle_noodles_delusions/
---
I eat crazy amounts of miracle noodles and I have this secret hope/delusion that if I eat enough that it will absorb some of calories of the foods that I eat with it...
Also wondering if anyone eats a ton of these noodles (I eat like two packs a day) and experienced any side effects? (TMI: I just poop a lot)
[Rant/Rave] Starting to catch up to me..feeling foggy.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:11:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9sdk/starting_to_catch_up_to_mefeeling_foggy/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave
It's been 5 days and iced four full work days and walked almost 20 miles every day and my body is slowly feeling the extent of the exertion.
I don't feel faint or physically hungry. I guess I have bad mental cravings as they are always the trigger I seldom binge when I am physically hungry.
Here I am out and about running errands with a wallet full of cash from tips this last week and I'm telling myself I don't need food. Eating is weakness and i won't open Pandora box to a binge I will go as long as I can.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I hate attention-seekers.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:03:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9qaw/i_hate_attentionseekers/
---
Today, I sat at the dinner table with my mum instead of preparing my own food and eating it in my room, which I started doing recently because she makes comments about the way I eat and it's really upsetting. She was upset about us not spending time, so I forced myself to be extra bubbly and make conversation at the table. Instead, she was sulking and muttering inaudibly at every comment I made, including compliments about the food. I was forcing myself to eat normally to make her happy, which she HAD to realize because she knows about my ED and was the one who sent me to an inpatient when I was younger. Then she stops eating completely, puts her hand on her chin and stares off into the distance while heavy sighing. It made me *furious*. Like, this is not a telenovela? Who are you acting for? I just hate people who do that shit. You obviously have no problem with showing your emotions, so why not be straightforward and tell the person trying SO hard to please you that you're not feeling that well? Or what they can do to help? I hate hate hate hate it when someone is so obviously trying to get an "Are you okay?" out of you. I'm sorry but the world does not revolve around you and your dramatic pity party, especially when you're a woman of 50. This is the same woman who blames me for not catering to her, "Why don't you do X to make me happy?" "Why aren't you more like X?" and then expects me to run to her aid every time she has a problem, tells me to "Think of people who have it worse than you" every time I tell her about something bothering me. And I'm there trying so hard to please her, no matter how small, which it isn't small because forcing yourself to IGNORE YOUR BRAIN and SHOVE FOOD INTO YOUR MOUTH WHILE WANTING TO CRY isn't small, and SHE IS STILL UPSET & WANTNG ATTENTION.
SORRY RANT OVER I am just so frustrated & had to let it all out into space.
[Discussion] Got a woosh!
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 113 | 19.4 | -2| Woman]
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9q3c/got_a_woosh/
---
I think I got the understanding of woosh as like sudden pay off of restriction?? If I'm wrong, lmk still picking up this sites lingo lol. But anyway, somehow I had gained up to 118 and was dying inside and so I had like 4-5 days of HEAVY restriction like 23 hour fasts everyday keeping to around 500 cals daily, little core workouts, and taking bronkaid with energy drinks and the weight WAS. NOT. COMING. OFF. I almost gave up. But woke up to being down 3 pounds over night 😊😊 just gotta keep on keeping on.
[Rant/Rave] If I went on an adventure
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 11:02:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9pyd/if_i_went_on_an_adventure/
---
I wouldn't have to eat. I wouldn't hate my family, because I'd have to miss them. I wouldn't get stressed about school.
I wouldn't want to kill myself, because I could literally do anything.
I would be afraid, so I wouldn't be privileged anymore. I would be thin, so I wouldn't have to restrict anymore. I would be alone, so I wouldn't be mean anymore.
I could do it right now. I could walk out of the house with the clothes on my back and a wad of cash and a backpack and a water bottle, and I could keep walking without even counting my steps.
I could lie. Say I'm going on a school trip, fake the paperwork, ask for a hundred dollars and be absolutely set. They wouldn't even look for me for three days.
I could leave *everything*. I could be *happy*.
Couldn't I?
[Discussion] For those 30+...or anyone who feels "too old"
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Mon Jul 24 10:57:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9oy0/for_those_30or_anyone_who_feels_too_old/
---
Are you in school and/or have a job?
Are you in a relationship?
Do you have kids?
What is your quality of life like?
As the years pass, I am getting more and more scared...I'm so scared that is all I can do for the rest of my life but I'm even more scared of giving this up.
Sigh. I mean, do I even have any potential to be something other than this?
[Tip] Remember when we were talking about a bracelet to let others know who we are. This one is free. r/freebies
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5F | 118 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 24 10:26:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9h87/remember_when_we_were_talking_about_a_bracelet_to/
---
https://www.dirtysouthvintage.com/products/free-promotional-heart-bracelet-no-purchase-required
[Discussion] Does you ED effect how you dress or present yourself?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 24 10:16:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9esq/does_you_ed_effect_how_you_dress_or_present/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave or discussion.
I know for me I guess I stereotypically wear a lot of looser stuff even though I am not very small I am medium build but like to feel small in my clothes.
I have a lot of shoes and sneakers that I use as focal points of how I dress outside of nonslip shoes at work which look ugly. I collect shoes cause no matter my weight my feet tend to stay the same size.
Occasionally when I feel better about myself when I feel less bloated I wear stuff that's tighter or more fitted like t shirts that cling to my shoulders and stomach when it's actually flat looking. Also skinny jeans. I guess I wear more looser pants like dickies and skater pants cause I used to and still skate. Sometimes I'll wear skinny jeans.
I keep two pairs of my brothers old jeans in my closest from when he was smaller than he is now. He is 5 years younger and 15 pounds lighter or so but more lean muscle.
The jeans are from when he was a few pounds left and sometimes I like to try them on and see if I've made it yet. A non number goal is to fit into my younger brothers old jeans...kinda weird I guess. I also just want to be lighter than him cause I've always been literally the big brother..
Back to clothes.
I wear a lot of break or neutral colors as well outside of white sneakers sometimes. I wish I could wear more avant garde type stuff or androgynous stuff but I'm just too big.
I guess another fucked up goal I have is to be able to wear mens and women's stuff. Unfortunately the lowest I've ever gotten is a women's size 6 back in high school and these days I'm a fucking 10 or a 12.
That bugs me so much. I have the frame or a plus sized woman because most mainstream clothing companies max out at size 10 and then 12 and above are plus sized.
Unrealistically I'd love to be a size 2 or maybe small I don't know but my shoulders are broad and my hips are kind of wide so I may just be fucked.
So there's my rant about clothes and want to know how you present or dress yourself or if you think ED plays a major role.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] obsessed with hitting exact calorie count
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:38:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9614/obsessed_with_hitting_exact_calorie_count/
---
anyone else obsessed with hitting a specific calorie count? losertown told me that I'd need to eat 683 calories in order to get to my GW in 3 months and I have an obsession with this number. I plan out my days to eat as close(under) to this number as possible and have a panic attack if I exceed 683. I can't be the only one, right???
[Rant/Rave] I ate a "normal" amount (much less than most teenagers, I'm sure) yesterday and I feel sick today. I'm so fucked.
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:33:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p94pc/i_ate_a_normal_amount_much_less_than_most/
---
I weighed in lower than I ever wanted to the day before yesterday (92lb...I don't really update my flair but I've been under 100 for quite a while), and shut my eating disorder up for my minute and agreed with myself to try to gain back *three* pounds. For myself. For my mom, who deals with enough shit.
I went out yesterday. Had a good time. Probably ate around or a little under 2,000 calories. Not even really enough to gain weight for my biological gender/age/height, especially considering I did some walking around.
Ate breakfast this morning and my stomach feels sick. "Oh geez, Dr0pDex, food *again*? You had a feast yesterday." This isn't good. I physically can't "eat normally".
[Humor] .... Can relate blob man, can relate.
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p92z3/can_relate_blob_man_can_relate/
---
https://i.redd.it/95alu7sb6kbz.jpg
[Other] "You have to want to get better"
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:22:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p9264/you_have_to_want_to_get_better/
---
I contemplated going to residential. I've done the screenings. I met with someone from the potential residential center recently and she said those words: "You have to want it."
And when she said them, I just realized that I don't think I have ever really wanted it. I know there is life outside of this. I know this is no way to live. But the question isn't whether I want to get better. It's just that I don't think I can. I feel lost beyond hope. The concept is too foreign. I feel too flawed. I don't have anything to offer this world. Recovery is for people with potential and radiance bubbling underneath the surface. I am just emptiness underneath.
I'll just be wasting people's time by cycling in and out of treatment.
It's time I learn to live with this monster. There's a certain kind of peace knowing that I'm not fighting it anymore.
[Rant/Rave] I need to stop rationalizing my horrible food choices (also a little bit TMI)
/u/atomic_cake [5'2" | cw 142 lbs | bmi 26.91 | -18 lbs | gw 100 lbs | 29 f]
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8zoj/i_need_to_stop_rationalizing_my_horrible_food/
---
So I had Panda Express on Saturday. I thought okay, I'll have a kids meal. I barely ate any of it. I ate the chocolate chip cookie that came with it instead of a fortune cookie because I had only eaten 420 calories so far that day and my total for the day still came under 590. I don't know why I did it. I actually like fortune cookies more than chocolate chip.
And then yesterday I binged on Taco Bell because my SO would've gotten it without me, I didn't eat all day, and Taco Bell is probably my favorite guilty pleasure fast food place. My total for the day came out to 1328. I rationalized it because on Friday I only had 250 calories, and thought "1328 calories is a really low diet amount for some people, it'll be okay" and "I've been very good all week". Ugh. Why do I allow myself to do this?
I thought of purging it even though I know it's something I should not start doing and I have a hard time doing it anyway, plus I know my SO would be mad (he never really gets angry mad, but concerned I guess). He tolerates my eating disorder to a point and sort of jokes about wanting to throw up after he eats too much and sometimes I say I'm going to do it but I don't think he'd find it funny if I actually did, especially regularly. He's okay with me not eating enough as long as I eat *something* so I don't think he'd be too pleased if I fasted either.
This morning I stepped on the scale and I'm a whole pound heavier. Is it because I ate so much yesterday or because I've barely pooped in like a week? I'm also on my "period" (is it a real period when you're on the pill?). I thought I was on it last week but I guess it was just spotting. I know some people poop a lot on their period but I'm the opposite. I get very constipated.
I bought magnesium citrate but I'm afraid to drink it because my SO and I have only one bathroom and he's a lot more regular than I am. I can just picture the situation where we'd have to go at the same time and just...no. I've been taking fiber gummies and they haven't been helping. Previously I was drinking metamucil but it had too many calories and it didn't really do anything either. Is there any other option to help clean me out but not keep me in the bathroom all day?
[Rant/Rave] venting (work)
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:08:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8yr8/venting_work/
---
someone took my chair at work and replaced it with a different chair in the same style. i know this because whenever i sit or shift my weight this chair creeks so LOUDLY now. i know i'm fat, and this is just additional reminder of my obesity (which is good)...but I'm just so mad that someone did that.
[Discussion] Any other POC proed-ers?
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:05:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8y68/any_other_poc_proeders/
---
Let's be friends! I'm half black/half white myself. It's interesting because I found that my black relatives don't "believe" in eating disorders but my white relatives seem sympathetic about them whenever they come up (but they don't know about my own situation). This is just my experience but I would be curious as to what you guys families think about this issue. I feel like eating disorders been very sensationalized/glamorized in media aimed towards white people but I'm sure this isn't the case all around.
[Humor] at least obsessing over food gives me something to think about
/u/7376549
Created: Mon Jul 24 09:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8xca/at_least_obsessing_over_food_gives_me_something/
---
no idea what i'd spend my time doing otherwise!
[Help] Anyone know anything about cooking ground turkey burger patties?
/u/allkindsofnewyou [5'2 | 96 | BMI 17 | F ]
Created: Mon Jul 24 08:56:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8w1o/anyone_know_anything_about_cooking_ground_turkey/
---
I'd like to cook them in the oven. Tips please? Not adding seasoning just the patties.
[Thinspo] Thinspiration 7.24
/u/TeenyBeanieWeenie
Created: Mon Jul 24 08:04:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8kav/thinspiration_724/
---
https://i.redd.it/8q2yko5frjbz.png
[Discussion] [Re-introduction] Has anyone else come back after a while away?
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 150 | 23.5 | -60lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 07:42:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8fok/reintroduction_has_anyone_else_come_back_after_a/
---
I do this pretty much every year. I think I can finally recover on my own, give it my best effort, try to quit all bad habits cold turkey, and end up mentally worse off than I started about a month later. This time, it was "if I go raw vegan, I can be skinny and healthy!"
I failed miserably. Somehow managed to end up b/ping again after years of stopping.
So hey guys I guess I'm back 👋
[Discussion] Favorite drinks?
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 07:35:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p8ecc/favorite_drinks/
---
I'm obsessed with La Croix Coconut and Polar Springs Orange-Vanilla (when I can find them). What about you?
[Discussion] Not eating to cope with depression
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 07:12:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p89u7/not_eating_to_cope_with_depression/
---
Lately I've kind of realized that when I've had an especially bad day, or feeling more depressed than usual, I sort of use it as fuel to eat less. Like the hunger is a good distraction from my feelings or something like that, while also being productive? Or maybe I'm creating reasons to feel better about myself.
I've never self-harmed, but it this kind of feels like my outlet to scratch that "itch". Well, this and epilating- like giving myself pain but also feeling like it's productive?
Does anyone else feel like this?
[Other] #MusicMonday Ted Leo
/u/swimwhenithurts
Created: Mon Jul 24 06:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p84q0/musicmonday_ted_leo/
---
https://youtu.be/zRD4CoiDzuQ
#MusicMonday Ted Leo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 06:44:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p84h7/musicmonday_ted_leo/
---
https://youtu.be/zRD4CoiDzuQ
[Humor] 2meirl4meirl
/u/RemtheCat
Created: Mon Jul 24 06:32:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p82ce/2meirl4meirl/
---
https://i.redd.it/qjdxg1khbjbz.jpg
[Discussion] A conversation with my colleagues left me thinking about American/European eating habits
/u/NerdBird49 [5'5.5" | HW: 216 | CW: ~160 | GW: 140 lbs | UGW: 116 lbs | F 20]
Created: Mon Jul 24 06:31:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p823o/a_conversation_with_my_colleagues_left_me/
---
During my lunch break today, I was sitting around talking to some of my colleagues about food. One is Belgian, one is German, one is Dutch/Mexican-American, and I am American. The Belgian woman mentioned that sometimes when she goes for lunch, she will plan to get a burrito and then go next door to get a donut for desert. However, once she eats her burrito and feels full, she no longer wants a donut. We went on to talk about donuts, and I told the two Europeans all about Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts in the US. They couldn't fathom the idea of buying an entire dozen of donuts, even if you're sharing it with a few people. The German said she one time ate three donuts and felt terrible afterwards.
I don't know if this speaks more to American eating habits or my terrible relationship with food, but I rarely eat because I am hungry. I eat because I crave a certain food. If I'm planning to get a burrito and a donut, I'm still going to get the donut even if I'm full after eating the burrito. And as far as buying a dozen donuts, I've certainly eaten a dozen donuts by myself. Not because I was that hungry, but because I enjoy the taste and can't stop myself. I'll feel full after two, but I continue to eat after that.
I like to think that if I had grown up under different conditions, I would have a better relationship with food, but I don't know. I grew up in a Southern family, so we ate lots of fried food and everything drenched in butter or sugar. My mom did lots of fad dieting, and I was always a fat kid. No one ever taught me about healthy eating at home.
The obesity epidemic in the US is crazy to think about it, and I don't understand it. I know obesity is still a thing in Europe, but as a general rule, people tend to be healthier and have better eating habits. I don't know how much this actually has to do with differences between Americans and Europeans, but it was interesting to talk to other people about food. I obviously didn't tell them that I sometimes eat a dozen donuts, but this conversation made me step back and think more about my relationship with food.
I guess this post doesn't really have a "point," but it's just my random thoughts at the moment.
[Discussion] Anyone else only binge when PMSing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 06:19:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p802f/anyone_else_only_binge_when_pmsing/
---
[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! July 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 24 06:14:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p7z8w/weekly_stats_update_july_24_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 24, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 24 06:14:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p7z8b/daily_food_diary_july_24_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 24, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] Last month PMS me left current me a treat (sugar free werthers).
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 05:48:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p7uvk/last_month_pms_me_left_current_me_a_treat_sugar/
---
https://i.redd.it/1wlxpgbk3jbz.jpg
[Discussion] Fucked up dream...
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 24 05:47:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p7ur4/fucked_up_dream/
---
So this weekend was rough. Went away with my family and spent the whole time convincing them i was ok. Cue a lot of eating. Was very stressed about it all day Sunday.
So last night, it took me a while to fall asleep. When i did, i had a terrifyingly fucked up dream. I was sitting naked in a small white room. The chair was cold metal against my skin, and i was tied down with black rope. On the table in front of me was a chocolate cake. There were speakers set up in the room, and a voice just kept repeating "eat and you'll be free" over and over again. Woke up genuinely freaked out.
Anyone else have ED related nightmares?
[Rant/Rave] Binged, purged, pulled a muscle, fell asleep, woke up feeling like I was going to die from dehydration or nausea or both.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 05:15:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p7pun/binged_purged_pulled_a_muscle_fell_asleep_woke_up/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Hoping to drop 2.5 kg in the next 25 days because he hasn't proposed
/u/burgundyburning [5'8 | 51.6 kg/113.6 lb | BMI 17.04 | GW: 51 kg/112 lb]
Created: Mon Jul 24 05:10:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p7p1y/hoping_to_drop_25_kg_in_the_next_25_days_because/
---
New here.
I kind of lost my mind a months ago when my boyfriend said he'd propose by March, and didn't. We had a long convo, and end of 3rd week of August was decided on.
However, that convo was like... April? So he's had months between then and now.
So for the next 25 days (which is his "deadline"), I plan to drop from 54 kg - > 52 kg, maybe to 51.5 kg. From all the rage and resentment I'm experiencing, I might just pull it off in time.
I'm soooooooo done with the situation, and dropping weight is the only thing that keeps me grounded.
[Tip] Hartley's 10 Cal Cranberry & Raspberry Jelly Pot is actually only 2 kcal per pot.
/u/shuthelockup [5'1 | constant bloat | 20.4 | F20]
Created: Mon Jul 24 04:40:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p7kr4/hartleys_10_cal_cranberry_raspberry_jelly_pot_is/
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I'm jumping for joy, inside my head. This means for 10 kcal you can have 5 pots.
Shame they have to be so pricey.
Lots of love X
[Discussion] Managed to stay at 57kg and became a qualified teacher!
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 02:47:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p75qa/managed_to_stay_at_57kg_and_became_a_qualified/
---
Despite restricting heavily during the week and binging heavily at the weekends, this month I completed an English as a Foreign Language course and became a EFL qualified teacher!
Now, I know that had I stuck to my restriction plan I would have been down to 52kg instead of maintaining and that's annoying. BUT I have some plans:
- don't eat anything before 8pm
- get 10k steps in
- get better at Russian so that when you move there you're not the worst at it
I feel like this will keep me motivated and busy.
Today I'm going shopping to get smaller clothes to motivate me :)
[Rant/Rave] Please wish me luck.
/u/NotStephany [5'5| too fat | 33.55 | -95lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 24 02:04:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p70ck/please_wish_me_luck/
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Ugh this weekend was going so well and then my mom bought me a 600cal bagel that i was supposed to throw away but i ate and purged it. I really hope i didn't gain, and i loose a pound when i weigh in the morning.
Please send me your prayers lmao
[Other] Ever taken a photo of yourself you actually liked the look of?
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Mon Jul 24 02:02:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p707d/ever_taken_a_photo_of_yourself_you_actually_liked/
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https://i.redd.it/3fzom4x9zhbz.jpg
[Intro] Is anyone here pregnant?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 24 01:45:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6y02/is_anyone_here_pregnant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i'm a horrible person and i hate myself
/u/kinaadman [CW: FAT | GW: 90lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 24 01:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6vmy/im_a_horrible_person_and_i_hate_myself/
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last night after dinner i excused myself to go purge in the bathroom and left my bf to watch bachelorette. thought the tv would drown out the purging but when i got out he held me and told me he knew what i just went to do. i couldn't really deny it and he was lovely about it (he's always been lovely and patient and kind about my brain problems and he's just the best person) and i was just ashamed and i've been ashamed all day today and i purged breakfast at work, had a small lunch, binge-purged some cookies (also at work) and i'm so fucking ashamed and frustrated with myself. i asked bf last night if my ED ever made him want to be with me less and he said, no, not at all, but it "makes my heart clench for you." i hate doing this to the one person who's wholeheartedly accepted me and my bullshit and i wish i could just get better and not be doing this cha-cha w/ my ED all the time. i just want to be better for him.
[Discussion] Why do you want to lose weight?
/u/amwub
Created: Mon Jul 24 01:21:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6uxt/why_do_you_want_to_lose_weight/
---
What is your trigger that fuels the fire of your ed?
[Rant/Rave] Just ED things...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 24 00:52:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6qsg/just_ed_things/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I've walked 22 miles and worked an 8 hour shift on my feet and still meticulously counting calories. Rounding up for diet coke and rounding down whatever my phones pedometer says.
Also how fucked up is it that I'm googling lowest calories sleeping pills. Not eating gives me insomnia and I know most liquid ones have like 90 calories cause some fucker decided medicine should make you fat.
Hoping I can find something I'm physically exhausted and really need rest but won't let myself rest because I don't feel like I deserve it.
Willow.
[Help] What do I do if I realize, my mom is my trigger?
/u/dungeonmasterbater
Created: Mon Jul 24 00:42:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6pfz/what_do_i_do_if_i_realize_my_mom_is_my_trigger/
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I don't live with her but we work in the same building.
I grew up with her constantly pinching my cheeks. The nickname she gave me literally translated to "fatty fat." She would constantly remind me that the width of one of my arms is the size of both her legs.
I only see her outside of work if I'm taking my younger siblings to her place.
She'll guilt me into buying things for her or doing her favors at the last minute. I'll be so stressed that I turn to food. The one thing she tells me I can't have and is now out of her control.
I feel bad for hating my mom.
But I'm tired of hating myself.
I don't want to cut ties. Family is super important to me.
[Discussion] What kind of workout are you doing?
/u/EDaddiction [socially unacceptable]
Created: Mon Jul 24 00:34:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6od2/what_kind_of_workout_are_you_doing/
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Hi :)
Just wondering what type of workout everyone is doing? In the past I've tried treadmill, weights, etc etc - nothing really sticks.
Hoping for some motivation. Would be amazing if you could be specific. Thanks so much!!!
[Rant/Rave] I'm gaining weight and I don't know why
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sun Jul 23 23:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6gis/im_gaining_weight_and_i_dont_know_why/
---
Based on how I've been eating and how I usually lose/gain weight I just can't fathom how I'm gaining weight I could understand maintaining maybe
I did have slip ups and binge-purged a few times, but even when I purge I at least maintain and if I do gain it's never like this
I gained 4 pounds over 3 days and it just doesn't make sense. Based on my patterns in the past I believe I should be 7 pounds lighter than I am right now.
Also all of the is making so sick. I purged tonight and it just took so much out of me I never felt this horrible after a purge. About 15 minutes after I ran to the bathroom and vomited involuntarily, and laid on the floor shaking for a while, I felt better, but I still feel kinda shaky and I might have to work tomorrow which I really can't even fathom rn because I really need a day to recoup
If I wasn't so exhausting I'd probably be sobbing rn because I'm so sad about my weight I really just don't understand
[Other] Not sure how this will turn out
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Sun Jul 23 23:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p6c82/not_sure_how_this_will_turn_out/
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I have my first contortion performance in about 5 days. I need to practice so much. The logical part of my mind tells me to eat healthily so that I have enough energy to practice thoroughly every day. The other part of my mind tells me to eat as little as possible so that I won't look as gross in my performance outfit.
This has been going on for weeks. No matter what I do I feel like I'll end up ruining my performances by either looking disgusting or not having enough energy.
Lets just say that logic is losing here.
[Rant/Rave] Rant rant rant rant. How much do actual normal human beings eat every single day?!?
/u/Scooter_Boots [5'4.5" | CW Magnificent Land Whale | GW 115 | 27F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 22:40:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p67t7/rant_rant_rant_rant_how_much_do_actual_normal/
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Holy shit I'm super annoyed. The past 3 months my SO and I have been living with his parents. I really love them and they're great people but oh my word do they know how to eat. They're all very tall, very athletic and I'm not tall (not crazy short but not tall at all) and not athletic. My boyfriend's mom insists on making me lunch every single day. Okay fine. I hate wasting food so I give it away like candy once I'm at work. I BEGGED her to give me smaller portions and it's still so. much. food. It's usually medium-healthy, but it's just too much. I've told her a thousand times it's too much. Still the same lunches.
(Side note. I'm in my late 20's and have been on my own since 17 so having food made for me is EXTREMELY uncomfortable to start with)
The second I get off my physically exhausting shift I come home and BAM! There's a plate ABSOLUTELY FULL of leftovers. I tell everyone again. I need some time to myself before I can even think about eating. Apparently this has turned into a game of "when will Scooter_Boots eat?!?! Lololololol" and I fucking lose every time. The pressure is unbearable because I am not trying to step on anyone's toes. His family has been SO wonderful in every other way. But I'm turning into a basket case every time there's a dinner plate shoved down my cake hole!!! UGHHH
Sorry just needed to vent.
[Rant/Rave] My Sister Knows
/u/jerriwrites
Created: Sun Jul 23 22:39:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p67ls/my_sister_knows/
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Yesterday, my sister drove me home from a family get together. I drank a lot as a way to avoid eating cause Mom over cooks for these kinds of things. It was just us, the radio was off so we sat in silence. Out of nowhere she just quietly asked me two things:
"Stop sticking your fingers down your throat and quit the cutting."
Loose lips sink freaking ships, and my lips were flapping thanks to vodka and tequila. So I was like, what cutting? I didn't even attempt to hide the purging. And she got really pissed off at me, saying how she hates that I treat her like a child. I replied that she wasn't suppose to know that I do these things cause I'm super good at hiding stuff (I wasn't all there).
Then for some reason, I just went on a mini rant. I showed off some older wounds from my thighs and arms and began explaining how I made each mark from my birthday last year, the last time I used cutting to hurt myself. Mom and I got into an ugly fight, so I made a cut for each year plus one to grow on.
Then I rambled about all my avoidance tactics, how I intentionally use Mom's emotions against her sometimes because it's the easiest way to cope. I'm use to being shouted at, then left to fend for myself for hours (I'm not technically a part of the family, I'm adopted and had to deal with some stuff I hope she never has to comprehend). I causally mentioned that I used it to avoid eating, cause sometimes I have really big lunches.
She was close to crying after a while, so I just sat in silence again. The last thing I said to her was that she shouldn't have found out, hiding it was my way of protecting her. She told me that she's more worried that I hide stuff from her.
So yeah, I pretty much gave up my game, strategies, motives, and had to hear how she really wish she could just help me feel loved, like it's her fault I'm like this.
I can't.
[Discussion] Anyone obese?
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 21:18:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5ub6/anyone_obese/
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I mean clinically. No need to put yourself on blast, just message me :)
[Goal] I'm going to work out every day
/u/silverblackbriscoe
Created: Sun Jul 23 20:47:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5ovx/im_going_to_work_out_every_day/
---
Between now and my trip to the beach in early August.
Two days in a row so far. Twelve more to go.
Wish me luck.
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else feel like this shit was kind of ingrained in you as a child?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 20:37:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5n7w/does_anyone_else_feel_like_this_shit_was_kind_of/
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I remember looking in the mirror at age 7 and thinking I was fat
I was probably 50 pounds
it's so sad, like why am i like this?
my parents are both healthy weight and have always encouraged healthy habits, indulging in moderation, and have never pressured me about my body
they don't deserve to have a fucked up kid like me, they're raised 4 others to be amazing people
guess i'm the odd one out
[Rant/Rave] I ate normally today
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 20:32:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5m6g/i_ate_normally_today/
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So today, I didn't count calories, I ate slowly, I didn't make a weird mix of everything sweet in my kitchen, I had 4 different meals and overall, I didn't binge nor restrict.
And yet, the scale has gone up like the time I binged for a whole week. I felt good about eating for once, and then I come back and see that it wouldn't have made a damn difference if I had just eaten everything.
I know weight fluctuates and all, so I'm gonna wait until tomorrow before actually crying my eyes out. I mean, I literally *just ate* so I'd be surprised if I gained pure body fat, but I'm still irrationally scared. I know I shouldn't be.
[Other] Personal
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Sun Jul 23 20:24:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5kv1/personal/
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It's funny the more I give and indulge into my bulimia the more out of control I feel
Fuck thinspo and competition lol my self respect and self esteem is tanking straight into the toilet just like my fucking dinner I'm so mad
If you promote ED or associate with that noise stopppp it's a roller coaster you don't want to be
All my sad sappy tears
[Rant/Rave] I almost had a full blown panic attack in Antrhopologie
/u/BasicallyBelle [5'5 | CW 150 | GW 113]
Created: Sun Jul 23 20:19:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5jvx/i_almost_had_a_full_blown_panic_attack_in/
---
The dumbest of things make me want to die... . I walked into a store. Just a beautiful little store in Disney Springs... and I realized I'm surrounded by all of these beautiful things and I'm nowhere near being as beautiful as anything or anyone down here... nothing about me makes me seem... I don't know... I just desperately want to be someone that I'm not... I want to be anyone but who I am really... like I can't even look at myself in a mirror without being painfully aware that I'm not anything like who I want to be... I want people to see me as dainty, whimsical, beautiful, classic, and elegant... nothing about me says any of those things and maybe that's why no one wants me around... hate it. I literally want to be a a different person... like.. do you know how desperately I just want to be simple and beautiful and dainty and just everything I am not? Like I want some of these things so desperately that I just.. I can't reach anything like that. I'm honestly just at a loss.. I may have a mental breakdown because of it. Everyone's argument is "but (company I work for) wanted you!" And yeah... my job wanted me... but not because of who I am... no one wants me because of who I am or how I look or the things I do... I'm wanted by my compny because I am willing to please people… To do anything I can to meet anyone's approval because it's painfully obvious that really all I want is to make someone happy. I just... want to be someone that isn't me. Then everyone wants to say "embrace your weirdness" and "be who you are!" things like that but That's the thing… I don't even know what's real or fake anymore... I know in my heart that really the person that I am is someone who would've existed a long time ago... I know that I would've fit better in the time that my parents were growing up and I do now… I know that I really just want to be a beautiful thing... never once in my life have I tried to be anything other than what my heart told me to be but it seems like none of that works... my heart legitimately aches... do you know how happy I'd be to just play second fiddle to someone else at this point? I'm sick of people always casting me as a loudmouthed obnoxious showboat... I just want to be normal… Do you know how beautiful the American average seems to me? How lovely it would be to just be like almost every other girl? I do love myself in bits and pieces... but the problem with loving myself is that I convince myself that it's possible for other people to love me too... but they don't... in my heart I evoke shades of pink and warmth... I want to sound as inviting as an old record... I want to have all the grace of smoke drifting away from a candle that's just been blown out... I want to be someone that could have walked right out of the most beautiful Wes Anderson film... But no one sees me like that... No one sees me as anything good and no amount of loving myself can change that. It's killing me.
[Rant/Rave] Gave into the weekend binge :~(
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9" | CW170 | GW120 | BMI24.65 | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 20:01:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5gm9/gave_into_the_weekend_binge/
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So I was making good progress the last few weeks and sticking to my plan but these past 2 days and today have me so fuckt I'm so upset!!!! I just keep going back for more and it always happens on the weekends because if I'm not at work then I have to fill the time with calories and carbs. Like usually I wouldn't be so disappointed bc I just expect myself to be terrible but I'm floored now because I was doing and feeling so good.
I know I'll feel better in the morning and way better once I get past the 24 hour mark w/ a fast but I hate this lottery I play with 2, sometimes 3 days of the week. If I fuck up even once, then the whole weekend goes into the toilet because I have no concept of stopping while I'm ahead. I'm gonna go chug water, take a hot bath and psych myself up for tomorrow :(
[Rant/Rave] Guess I found a new fear food because I just chew/spit the entire remainder of the bag lmao
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Sun Jul 23 19:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5flo/guess_i_found_a_new_fear_food_because_i_just/
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Fuck trail mix why is it so good but calorically dense
[Help] Vaping appetite suppressant?
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Sun Jul 23 19:54:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5fho/vaping_appetite_suppressant/
---
I was just wondering if vaping can be used as an appetite suppressant similar to cigarettes. They taught us in school and ads and shit that cigarettes and nicotine suppress appetite and it seems logical that vaping would have a similar affect but I just wanted to see if any of you guys have experimented with it and have seen good results.
[Rant/Rave] I'm normal. This is normal.
/u/GetToTheStore
Created: Sun Jul 23 19:52:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5f3e/im_normal_this_is_normal/
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I'm googling pictures of moldy food so I stop eating for the day. I'm imagining what it smells like.
That's perfectly logical and healthy. 🤢🔫
[Rant/Rave] Finally got to my lowest, then went back up to my highest in 2 weeks
/u/ImMissBrightside
Created: Sun Jul 23 19:38:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p5chf/finally_got_to_my_lowest_then_went_back_up_to_my/
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This is so hard. Just want to get past 120. I've been stuck here for so long. I finally get some progress and I lose it all
[Rant/Rave] finally under 100
/u/basedgore [5'3| CW:98lb | GW1: 95lb | -61lb | M]
Created: Sun Jul 23 18:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p52il/finally_under_100/
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First post guys, hi! long time lurker and finally feel like im "enough" to make a post now. I was gonna make an intro post but I really need to rant a little, ill make an intro post later probably.
i weighed in at 99.5 lbs after drinking a 32oz diet coke today. this is the first time ive weighed that much since I was 11-12. im so proud of myself and happy but at the same time im incredibly hollow and stressed. i have so much loose skin that I just want to keep loosing but I know no matter how much I loose the skin will stay until it tightens up on its own. ive eaten 400 or so cals today, mostly in chocolate however I went on a 2 hour walk and went to the gym after and ran for another 40 mins so my net calories are actually 0-100 for the day which I am very happy with!
also i jusy feel like I have noone there for me honestly. my dad's a crazy fucking alcoholic and in the middle of a conversation about breaking up with my boyfriend his phone shut off and now I see snaps of him at a party. i want to hate him so bad bc hes promised to help me with my ED and help me recover but he keeps congratulating my shitty behaviors and I just want him to show that he cares even if i dont want to get better. it's confusing and dumb but idk. theres a lot of other issues in the relationship ship but ik this isn't the sub for it.
[Rant/Rave] Holy fuck bmi
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sun Jul 23 18:27:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4zg8/holy_fuck_bmi/
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I'm still gross as fuck but today I realized that my bmi isn't in the 21's, it's in the 20's! I guess I'm so used to be like 20 pounds heavier and having a bmi of like 22ish. I am in the low 20's (need to get on my laptop one day and make a flair)...club 19 I am coming for you!
[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck am I so obsessive
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 17:45:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4rbu/why_the_fuck_am_i_so_obsessive/
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TL;DR I binged on 1500 calories yesterday so I purged and got rid of most of it although just to make sure I'm counting at least 12%-13% on MFP because I can't fucking go to sleep without putting something on and oh as if I haven't done enough already I am also 25 hours in a 48 hour fast I'm presently doing because I want to punish myself for being such a motherFUCKING PIEce OF SHIT help me
[Other] Dont even want to finish this binge. But im going to. Then the self loathing well get me through the rest of the week.
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Sun Jul 23 17:36:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4pjs/dont_even_want_to_finish_this_binge_but_im_going/
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https://i.redd.it/n3env5cxgfbz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] actual conversation
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sun Jul 23 17:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4pbh/actual_conversation/
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Mobile, please tag as rant/rave.
"My housemate keeps giving me junk food. So then I have cookie pie and entire quarts of ice cream in my possession and occupying my whole brain."
"You can't just say no?"
"Would have to explain why I don't want it."
"Then throw it out."
"...but then it'll be gone."
Insane binge last night. Decided this had to stop. At 300ish for today so far--while meal prepping, while surrounded by slices of cookie pie. My very own cookie pie. Which I own. Self-control, motherfuckers.
Last appointment with current therapist today. She was alarmingly complacent about my admission that last week was a free-for-all bingefest. I didn't expect her to call me a fat piece of shit who can't even ED right, but it still bothers me that she didn't.
"No one can restrict that much indefinitely without some binging--" she said.
Fucking watch me. This time I'm gonna manage it. This time I'm gonna have some self control.
Tune in this time next week for "Jack scarfs down entire cookie pie like a dog, like a damn dog."
[Discussion] Intro/Calorie restrictors and fasters - share your visdom
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 17:02:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4j5m/introcalorie_restrictors_and_fasters_share_your/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] There's a first for everything
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:58:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4ia0/theres_a_first_for_everything/
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So last night was my sisters wedding reception, I tried to be good but you just get so swept up in the party, and then everyone kept bringing me shots...
Anyways, right after dinner I purged most of it up.
I continued to purge all night and everyone just thought I was hammered (true)
Anyways I gained like 1.5 lbs and hate myself soooooooo much but at least my step sister let me borrow this cute heckin sweater that makes me feel not super disgusting http://imgur.com/a/3kLJP
How many calories would you retain from purging like 1700-2000
[Discussion] What do you guys eat when you know you're supposed to, but would rather not?
/u/Crunchyricecake
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4g2h/what_do_you_guys_eat_when_you_know_youre_supposed/
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Hey y'all!
I guess I'm weird in that I could literally not eat anything and be fine with it, like no mental cravings or stomach growls. I know I'm strange, aren't we all?
Anyway, usually when I eat it's because I know I'm supposed to because I feel faint, or grumpy, or what have you. Not because of cravings or hunger which I can usually ignore. So obviously this happens often enough that I'm still chunky. I must be super sensitive to those feelings. But I digress.
Do you have a food you eat when you realize your body is going to lash out at you if you don't? But you have no appetite and would be content with drinking water?
I'm eating rice cakes right now (lol) but I really don't want to. I'd really rather not eat but I can't just eat 140 calories today without feeling like total crap.0
[Discussion] Aside from the obvious, what effects has your ED had on your appearance?
/u/questions_anonymous
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:46:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4ftp/aside_from_the_obvious_what_effects_has_your_ed/
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For example, I've basically reverse-aged since losing weight - like most people assume I'm in my mid-teens when I'm actually in my mid-20s. On a less positive note, my hair is really thin now 😭
[Rant/Rave] I am done letting people walk all over me and use me.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4c8s/i_am_done_letting_people_walk_all_over_me_and_use/
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I fucking deserve better. I am a beautiful, valuable human being who deserves love and kindness. The only person who's allowed to be mean to me is me when I'm restricting 😂
[Rant/Rave] It's the little things
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:25:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4bq5/its_the_little_things/
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[deleted]
[Other] I have less sex the smaller I get. Anyone else like this?
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4az4/i_have_less_sex_the_smaller_i_get_anyone_else/
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A hundred pounds ago, I used to have a decent bit of sex. I'd occasionally have a flashback but I managed. Now, I think it's been years since I've had sex. I feel terrible for my husband but I don't think I could force myself to do it.
I don't really know why this is. I have zero sex drive but I don't really know why. I restrict but I'm still a bit overweight. Other than nightmares occasionally and some weird phantom smells, my PTSD is almost nonexistent.
I love my husband but he's not really attractive. If I'm being honest, neither am I. Either way, that's never stopped me before.
So, what's my deal? I have no idea. I just don't get why being naked at over 200 pounds is okay with me but being naked now isn't.
[Help] road trip/vacation help
/u/xokolos [🌱5"6 | 110lb 🌻]
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4ax4/road_tripvacation_help/
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i'm on a road trip/vacation and we have spent 3 days in the car so far and each time we went out to eat it was a fast food/restaurant
i refused to eat the first day at these places and just ordered like toast for breakfast / fruit for lunch and nothing for dinner bc i was " full on snacks " we had in the car
my family isn't putting up with me not eating anymore so i've been ordering food and eating and i feel like i'm gaining so much weight. :(
how do i avoid eating and not wasting food i order and just spread across my plate to make it look like i ate. :(
i don't promote or advise using certain drugs to stop eating but i'm about to get adderall to stop eating for a couple days.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck binges and fuck potato salad
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Sun Jul 23 16:18:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p4a6l/fuck_binges_and_fuck_potato_salad/
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On mobile, flair rant. So I drove 30 minutes out of my way to see family, have not eaten all day and I'm in the middle of a binge cycle. I grabbed an admittedly large helping of potato salad and my aunt asks what I'm eating. I said "it's potato salad, I really love potato salad" she goes, that's a lot of food, that's like 4 servings". So I sat and ate my huge helping of food in shame...now I just want to go home and I'm in a shitty mood and too pissed to eat anything else.
[Goal] i told my husband my weight
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7| CW: 105 | BMI: 16.4 | 28F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 15:45:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p43jm/i_told_my_husband_my_weight/
---
he asked, and i didn't wanna lie to him (i'm 106). he said i don't believe you, you look 95. he said this in a negative "you're too skinny" way.
in a way it made me feel good, but now i'm like oh let me get to 95 to prove to you i can and show you what that actually looks like on a 5'7 frame 🤷🏻♀️
[Help] Can I please talk to someone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 15:36:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p41r1/can_i_please_talk_to_someone/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Today I learned the magic of magnesium
/u/elliebearrrr [5'5.5" | SW:175lbs CW:158lbs GW1:154lbs | 25.9 | -17lbs | F21]
Created: Sun Jul 23 14:51:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p3sau/today_i_learned_the_magic_of_magnesium/
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I've been struggling to have regular BMs for weeks, and have been feeling so blocked up (ew sorry) in *that* department... so I'd just like to thank the person who brought the powers of magnesium supplements to my attention! Let's just say things are now working as nature intended lmao
I only wish I'd made this particular bathroom visit before weigh in this morning haha
[Other] Late in the grocery haul fad!
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Sun Jul 23 14:50:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p3s3v/late_in_the_grocery_haul_fad/
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https://i.redd.it/0c7v0gicnebz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Fat children make me sad
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 23 14:38:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p3plq/fat_children_make_me_sad/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
Whenever I see obviously heavier kids o feel really bad. I empathize more with kids cause they don't know better however adults do.
I feel like parents who make or let there kids get fat are just as guilty if abuse S those who beat or neglect their kids.
I was a fat kid and I feel like it's significantly responsible for my disordered eating and unhealthy relationship with food.
If my parents taught me better habits maybe I would have been more normal...
Willow
[Rant/Rave] went for support, got told my ed isnt real
/u/wowowaka [5'2 | 139 > 112 > 100 (one can dream) | 17F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 14:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p3omq/went_for_support_got_told_my_ed_isnt_real/
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just to be clear, this was with someone i randomly met online at a chatroom. i cant go to therapy right now because of Reasons so venting to random strangers online is p much the only thing keeping my sane until im able to.
haha, horrible mistake.
they told me its not an illness. that im just a privileged twat with 1st world issues (im in a 3rd world country but /eyeroll). that binging is bullshit because nobody is forcing food down my throat. that there are people out there in other countries starving to death while i shove 3000 calories down my gullet in one sitting. that if i feel like a monster its because i *am* a monster.
is this how normal people feel about me? what my friends would say if they found out about this part of me? i wanna cry
and then people ask me why i dont open up in real life. this is why. this shit right here. i KNEW everybody thought im fucking disgusting. i almost wish i hadnt stopped restricting because at least then people would have some sort of sympathy for me. fuck. but no, i had to stop in the wrong order :)) quitting fasting but not binging, like a god damn willpowerless idiot :)))
i dont deserve help. i dont even know why im attemtping to eat normally anymore. i dont deserve it.
[Rant/Rave] A thinspo account is selling a "10-day diet plan!"
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 27F | 21.23 | CW: 136 | LW: 110 | GW: 115]
Created: Sun Jul 23 14:03:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p3i1r/a_thinspo_account_is_selling_a_10day_diet_plan/
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I just need to vent a bit.
Yeah, I have a Tumblr thinspo account to, sue me. This fucking girl on here is taking advantage of younger boys/girls with EDs, and perhaps not even with EDs, and is charging them for a plan to lose weight [here](http://35-24-35.tumblr.com/10dayplan).
I don't even have to read what's in it- I'm not dumb. It's common sense. She says "I invested 3 years of my life into fitness and health, and have read a lot about it in books, online and got great advice from my nutritionist and my personal trainer"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I've 'invested' 18 years of my goddamn ilfe into researching diets, researching fads, researching weight loss programs, researching nutrition (I'm an Integrative Health major for fuck's sake), researching workouts, doing every kind of workout, Googling EVERYTHING, talking to personal trainers, talking to fucking everyone..........
I CAN'T TAKE IT SHE IS SO DUMB FOR SELLING A 10-DAY PLAN. Oh, eat *this* many calories and you eat CLEAN, she probably doesn't even give personalized macros, **OH** & and do *these* exercises (because they're the only ones that will fat-burn for my 10-day plan!!!) for 10-days straight then repeat for the rest of your life! Because nothing else is an option! Give me your money! I prey on the weak!
IT'S FUCKING COMMON SENSE BITCH. YOU'RE USING TUMBLR AS A PLATFORM TO STEAL MONEY FROM MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYTHING YOU'RE SELLING IS ON GOOGLE.
For fuck's sake I can tell you how to lose 10 pounds in a month healthily too. I can tell you how to burn fat, lose weight unhealthily, restrict, HIIT, lift, diet, blah blah blah blah blah.....
This just pisses me off so much. I just relapsed two weeks ago after being okay for six months and with everything that's going on in my life I need someone to project my madness onto and she is fucking worthy. Goddamn just pisses me off so much.
[Rant/Rave] I notice EVERYTHING...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 23 13:57:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p3gpd/i_notice_everything/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
So it's funny when you remove food, add too much caffeine and cigarettes it's almost like being in a sen state at least for me. I feel so aware. Hyper aware of my body but also others around me.
I notice every food in my skin, blemish, stubborn fair, scar, burn, redness, even my own weight I feel my body sinking into the ground with every step not on concrete.
With people I feel like I just notice them more and to my shock maybe it's reality pulling a fast one on me but everyone is fat or overweight or obese. A few thinner folks in the mix but like budget trail mix with as many m&me, what used to be my favorite part.
The thinner folks seem disordered too. I was in a store getting a sugar free red bull and cigarettes and this girl looked like a ballerina and she checked out at the same time I did.
Sugar free gum and kombacha, she was probably 6' and maybe a nickle over 100lbs...
I feel disgusted by the gratuitous gluttony around me. The people unknowingly rob me of any desire to eat lest I be one of them.
I am hyper aware and yet numb.
100 hours since I ate last, my last me a vegan crunch wrap supreme, no cheese or sour cream or sauce, black beans.
In the last 4 days en liu of eating I've walked for hours. Before work now it's almost 100 accumulated miles. A little over 20 miles each day with 8 hours on my feet at work. Not even sure what the calories burned on. It doesn't matter. I just don't care about anything.
I am numb. I have become so numb so much more aware. All I want to do is be less like me and be more like you...
R.i.p. Chester Bennington
Willow
[Humor] when "indie" boys romanticize the way you smoke cigarettes and take your coffee black no sugar...
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW: 182. CW: 161 BMI: 23.35.]
Created: Sun Jul 23 13:36:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p3c45/when_indie_boys_romanticize_the_way_you_smoke/
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as if those aren't habits you picked up in your early adolescence as a result of a budding ED 🙃 I've got to get off of tinder lol
[Discussion] Favorite safe foods?
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sun Jul 23 13:21:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p38yn/favorite_safe_foods/
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Does anybody else have specific snacks/food they let themselves have because they're low cal but still tasty! I tend to go for campbells soup because it's only 60 cals (150 for the whole can) or I have half a pb&j (white Bread with 1.5 teaspoons of pb and 1.5 tsp jam). I call it a snack but it really replaces my meals lmao. My safest snack is halo top if I'm under my limit.
EDIT: wow! Thank all you wonderful people for these safe foods! I'm so picky but some of these sound amazing 😍
[Rant/Rave] i'm starting to show
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Sun Jul 23 13:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p38jo/im_starting_to_show/
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i'm freaking out. i'm terrified. all i can see in the mirror is my fucking belly and i hate it.
this is terrible. i should be happy because it means that the baby is growing despite me being a fuckup. and i mean i AM happy kiddo is doing okay so far. it's just...i thought i had more time.
breathe. breathe breathe breathe.
i'm starting to show
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 13:19:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p38dw/im_starting_to_show/
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[deleted]
Anyone want to do this with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 13:14:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p37dh/anyone_want_to_do_this_with_me/
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[removed]
[Help] I told myself I would restrict until my husband noticed. Now he has noticed.
/u/randyguptill [5'7.5" | CW 143.8 | GW 139 | 21.45 | complicated | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 13:11:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p36ss/i_told_myself_i_would_restrict_until_my_husband/
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He has invited me to eat something twice in the last 24 hours. The first time I avoided eating. Today I did eat in front of him, black beans with some cheese, maybe 200-250 cals. I have been on 400 calories/day since June 27 or so. I have lost about 20 pounds in that time.
This is the smallest I have been in my adult life. I don't have a weight goal but I don't want to stop restricting calories. It makes me feel amazing.
Correction: I've lost 20 pounds since 6/12 not 6/27.
[Discussion] Wasteful or weird habits?
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Sun Jul 23 12:01:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2rjb/wasteful_or_weird_habits/
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When my mom is at work, I tend to throw food in the garbage and cover it up with other garbage and tell my her I ate it, just so she won't hound me to eat. I also have to keep an eye on my younger brother so if I eat I tend to put some of my food on his plate. I feel super bad for wasting food because we're not exactly made of money, but I can't help it...anyone do similar things?
[Thinspo] Holy shit guys. I would DIE to look like this girl.
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Sun Jul 23 12:01:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2rhx/holy_shit_guys_i_would_die_to_look_like_this_girl/
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https://imgur.com/a/OUtK4
[Rant/Rave] I need to start lying (better)
/u/greensquarequilt [5'1.5 | 81.4lbs | 15.74 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:47:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2obn/i_need_to_start_lying_better/
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So I don't know if rant / rave is accurate for this post, but it seemed the closest.
I really don't know why I do this, but every time I see my boyfriend and he asks me what I've eaten, I will literally... be honest? Like yesterday he came over ~ 730pm and asked, and I said I hadn't eaten anything.
Why would I say that??? Why would I not lie??
Like he is already worried / suspicious / probably marginally annoyed with me over this, so why would I not just freaking lie?!?!?!?
[Help] First ever binge-correcting fast- advice?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW: 182. CW: 161 BMI: 23.35.]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:39:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2mkp/first_ever_bingecorrecting_fast_advice/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm a bad person, but I'm losing weight so 💁
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:24:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2jh9/im_a_bad_person_but_im_losing_weight_so/
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Lol 😂🔫
long story short I saw about 25 pictures in a row from my bf's model friend on my computer's browser history from the middle of the night a few days ago.
I'm really messed up about it and I feel like a crazy person. Especially because I feel so *competitive* about it? I mean, I feel horrible and not good enough and also unreasonable and over-sensitive.
He could just be looking cause that's actually his friend's job and wouldn't I do that too? It's not like that was the only thing he did on the computer. It *was* the only thing that he went to Facebook for though. Is this a one-off or...? Ugh. I want to stop thinking about it but my brain is just holding on.
I am like... angry for some reason? Not even at him, just *angry.* At her? At me? My body? The limits of human biology? Whatever I guess. But this fucking means I am going to be that small again. Smaller. I was smaller six months ago. I am working out **today** dammit, no more excuses. FUCK I WISH MY FACE LOOKED LIKE THAT.
Why am Iike this, y'all? What the eff.
[Rant/Rave] Did I plateau or am I just fat?
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:19:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2ihf/did_i_plateau_or_am_i_just_fat/
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So I was losing and losing, when I got my period I lost a pound, gained 3.1, lost 2.9. My period ended 3 days ago I thought that once my period was over it would be better but I gained another 1.5 pounds.
I did b/p 3 times this week and had a small binge last night, but the other days this week I drank a lot of water and my calories were between 350-800. So even though I had some slip-ups I don't think my weight should be this high, I think I should be like 5 pounds lighter.
Did I plateau? or Am I just fat and in denial?
I feel like it's been too long to be a plateau
Fuck all this shit
[Rant/Rave] I didn't freak out!
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 134| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:12:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2gwg/i_didnt_freak_out/
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So I had made myself a lunch ahead of time for today, with a ton of apple slices and celery and raw yellow peppers, and then I accidentally left it at work this morning because I didnt end up having to stay as long as I thought I would, and forgot to take it out of the fridge....and I started to have a little freak out because I had already measured it and logged it and I didn't have much left at home except for bingey foods (pasta, bread, chips, etc ...ugh why do I even keep that in the house)
BUT
Then I decided I was NOT going to freak out and was gonna get creative, and so I cut up some zucchini from my garden super thin and added just under an ounce of feta to it, and 1/2 tsp walnut oil, and sliced a couple carrots with red pepper hummos, and made a big crunchy lunch that still fits my calorie goal.
[Rant/Rave] I am so tired
/u/rachelrayromano [5'4" | CW 102 | 17.85 |F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2gw0/i_am_so_tired/
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I'm working 3 jobs and I have had 3 days off this month. I am so, so, so tired. I've been restricting in between binges and I have managed to stay steady ish at 101, which I don't even know how to handle. I'm happy it's 101, but unhappy it isn't lower. I just want to feel normal but I have no idea what normal even is anymore.
[Thinspo] Weird stock photo thinspo?
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2gld/weird_stock_photo_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/2ormucp4kdbz.png
[Humor] "New BMI" - funny coincidence!!
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2fj3/new_bmi_funny_coincidence/
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Okay so some of you guys just saw my "hello" post an hour ago or so, and I have been having a mental crisis about standard BMI (18.06) or new BMI (17.6) since then. Finally decided that I should go with standard because perhaps the new version is some dodgy thing to make pudgers like me feel better about the pudge ;)
Then I spot "Return to L. N. Trefethen homepage". Think "hey, I know that surname". Click.
And yes, I land on the homepage of ONE OF MY CLOSEST RESEARCH COLLABORATORS.
So cheers Nick, I appreciate the lesser-pudge, but I will not be mentioning this in a meeting EVER.
[Humor] Getting ready for a family cookout, pray 4 me
/u/totalbabes [5'0 | CW: 90 lbs | BMI 17.6 | Weight Lost: 24 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 11:05:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2ff2/getting_ready_for_a_family_cookout_pray_4_me/
---
https://i.redd.it/c7jqf3m6jdbz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm slowly deteriorating...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 23 10:57:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p2dko/im_slowly_deteriorating/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave
I feel like my mental health is going to shit. I feel alone and yet terrified of being close to other people including my family who haven't been much of a family for me in years.
I feel flat and yet immense sadness. The scale number goes down yet I feel bigger by the day.
I feel scared and paranoid. I can't be home besides when I'm sleeping so I drag myself out of bed and walk until it's time for work. I have the next two days off and don't k ow what to do.
I'm scared to eat anything. I feel alone and anxious I feel anxious about random things and feel like my heart could stop or I can't breathe.
I have some old lexapro in my cabinet at home but not sure what the side effects would be if I just took it without consulting a professional but I'm scared of professionals I feel like they want to harm me.
I need to make a therapy appt but that idea is scary too I feel like I get sent back to residential treatment or the hospital mental health ward because I feel so bad. I am barely keeping it together
Help me..
Willow
[Discussion] The old places
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 10:22:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p26ec/the_old_places/
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I miss the old places like blue dragonfly. I miss a chat room where we could pop in for company. I feel so lonely in this part of my life. Any one else feel this way?
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Jul 23 10:21:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p263i/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/il06fj7dbdbz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] New medication [rant/help]
/u/saede_art [173cm | CW 60 | BMI 19.81 |]
Created: Sun Jul 23 09:52:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p20cv/new_medication_ranthelp/
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I've been put on a new medication (mirtazapine) and I'm really scared because one of its main side effects is weight gain. I already have a lot of difficulty to lose weight lately so I kind of had a breakdown when my doctor told me so. Then, I was reading an article about weightloss and it said taking medication with weight gain as a side effect made it almost impossible to lose weight. (hello breakdown number 2)
I don't know if I should still give it a shot or not.
I've tried about every possible anti-depressant my doctor can think of, to the point where she was reluctant to give me something else. I've tried so many things, with therapy and such but still nothing has helped me. I feel guilty because I've never gotten better and people accuses me of not trying hard enough.
What should I do?
My mind just tells me to give up once again, since anyways no one cares and nothing helps... :/
[Rant/Rave] My mom told me to kill myself
/u/smallgrl
Created: Sun Jul 23 09:51:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p202s/my_mom_told_me_to_kill_myself/
---
"Why don't you just cut yourself already?You want me to go get the razor for you? Cut yourself I don't give a shit. Why don't you cut your ass so no one has to see that shit you attention whore."
I'm sorry to post this here, I just wanted to tell someone and I don't have anyone irl to talk to
[Intro] A lurker says hello, FINALLY!
/u/FastPhoria [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 / 17.6 | GW: 119 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 09:47:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p1zbv/a_lurker_says_hello_finally/
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So I think I just want to say hello. I have been lurking here for a while, and too scared to post anything because I am not sure who knows my username. But I have really come out of the ED closet with myself over the last month or so (I guess I was in denial beforehand - "just eating healthy" / having "medication side effects"). But this seems like such a kind community that I thought screw it I want to get in on this!, and so I have made a new secret account to join in :) shh, don't tell!
Background: I'm PhD research student in aerospace engineering, love music and drawing. I have a dog that looks like a 90kg toilet brush, who I suppose is the closest thing I have to an SO. ED has been in my life since I was very young, and I am also bipolar 1. Haven't worked out if there is a connection there or not. What I have noticed is that my ED has been amped up by my bipolar medication (anorexia is actually listed as a side effect!), and whilst I know I should discuss this with my doctor, I don't want to because... well, you guys all know ;) "oh no, I lost MORE weight? Damn...."
My goal weight is 119. I would be so happy with that (it sounds a lot maybe, but I am tall!). I don't heavy restrict at the moment (I don't have the will power of steel that you guys have, evidently), probably about 1000-1200 a day, but I run off at least 400-500 every day, so maybe that's okay?
I do have a question - am I supposed to use the "new BMI" score in my flair, or the standard one? Don't get me wrong, I like that the "new" one is lower, but it feels a little like cheating!
Anyway, I am so happy to meet you all. Very excited about this sub! Take care everyone. Oh and I hope it is okay that I have posted an introduction.
[Discussion] DAE poop at work and then wish you could go home to weigh yourself?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 09:40:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p1y12/dae_poop_at_work_and_then_wish_you_could_go_home/
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This is way TMI, but I always poop later in the day, like after 11 AM, when I'm at work. And I always kick myself because I know my weight would have been lower that morning- plus by the time I get home I'll have drank enough water to ruin it. (Sometimes I "happen" to need to go home for "lunch break" though, lol)
[Discussion] Do you keep clothes that don't fit? Is it motivating or depressing?
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Sun Jul 23 09:21:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p1umx/do_you_keep_clothes_that_dont_fit_is_it/
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I'm moving next week and trying to decide what to do about my clothes. Should I keep things that don't fit and I can't wear? Some of them are proper cute, but it's frustrating to look at stuff and not know if/when I can wear it again. I don't want to move with a bunch of crap I can't wear, but it's also frustrating to think about the wasted money.
I could...
* Keep the clothes I really like and pack them away in a "size __" box in the garage if they ever fit
* Donate them to second hand store so at least someone gets to wear them
* Other options??
I'm at the place in my ED where I'm trying to only do things that help in the long run. Not sure where to stand on this problem.
Do you keep clothing around that doesn't fit? Do you find it more motivating or depressing?
[Discussion] Does anyone here have a physically demanding job?
/u/smutwitch
Created: Sun Jul 23 08:49:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p1nzm/does_anyone_here_have_a_physically_demanding_job/
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This is my first post here but I've been lurking for a long time. I've been cycling through a restriction/binge disorder since I was about 12 and I've just recently been able to admit to myself that it isn't normal. It's actually really freeing to acknowledge it's a disorder and be okay with that for once in my life. I've always been afraid to get involved in ed communities because that makes it more real, but y'all are a really lovely community that seems to be as supportive as we can ever hope to be like this. Thanks for being here. ❤️
Anyway, a lot of us here seem to be either students or have various office jobs. But does anyone happen to have a really physically demanding job? I'm a server and bartender, which in some ways pairs really well with restricting and also poses some problems. I'm on my feet all day, five days a week, for 8-12 hours at a time some days. I'm too busy to eat, plus I see nasty leftover food and kind of lose my appetite looking at it. My step monitor says I tend to walk about 4 miles a day on average, so I'm burning a lot. But it's really difficult for me to run on empty when I'm being so active. It leads to me having little mini-binges as soon as I get off work, and I'm so exhausted after shoving a huge burger in my mouth that I just pass out.
The only bright side is that I don't go on extreme binges after work, usually not even 1000 calories' worth, so combining that with being so active I'm still steadily losing. I've lost about fifteen pounds since May, but that's nowhere near the progress I want to be making. It's hard for me to fast like this, and it's hard for me to lose as rapidly as I want. I'm afraid to try stacking because I'm already walking around so much, I don't want my heart beating out of my chest.
Anyone else have this problem? Want to complain about being around food all day? Any tips?
[Rant/Rave] Irrationally Annoyed by Coworker Meals
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 136.6 | BMI: 28.09 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 07:58:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p1f30/irrationally_annoyed_by_coworker_meals/
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So most of us are part time at my job, which means save from the one full time guy (who, oddly enough, is a pretty big dude and generally only eats his mid-shift break meal unlike the rest of them), most of us work 4-5 hour shifts each day.
Every morning, whoever I open with will bring a full, 1000+ calorie breakfast (I’m talking biscuits and gravy or a whole freaking quiche from the bakery next door) that they will sit and eat while I do the opening duties, and then a couple hours later they will proceed to bitch and moan about being “SOO HUNGRY!”
Usually this results in me being left alone for 20 or so minutes while they grab food from a nearby business (maybe burritos and nachos, or Five Guys) and then sit in the back eating another 1000+ calorie meal while I’m left alone to wade through a sea of angry customers that want to know why I’m the only one helping anyone! Then, they will bitch and moan if I get off a half hour before them about how they will give me their hours so they can leave early (when my shift ends) because they’re hungry AGAIN! It wouldn’t be a big deal if this was just one particular person, but it is literally all three of the other part timers! Even when I was binge eating I didn’t need so many fucking meals! I don’t think it is too ED to eat before a 4-5 hour shift and then not need to eat again until it is over, but they look at me like “how are you not starving?!” I really want to say, “IDK, you already consumed over a days worth of calories and it’s just 2 in the afternoon, and you want to eat some more... how are you not morbidly obese” but I just roll my eyes and tell them I’m trying to eat healthy and the fast food choices around us are not good.
[Goal] Today will not be a binge day.
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Sun Jul 23 07:55:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p1eiz/today_will_not_be_a_binge_day/
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Yesterday was. Donuts and cake and booze. My hands are still stained red from the entire bag of flaming hot cheetos I devoured and I don't even want to add up all the shots.
Yesterday sucked. Yesterday was a loss. Today will not be. I will be strong. I will fast starting now to make up for it.
I can do this. One day does not ruin all my progress.
[Rant/Rave] My mum cares more about the fact that I don't believe in god than about my disorder
/u/Ofca0
Created: Sun Jul 23 07:15:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p185m/my_mum_cares_more_about_the_fact_that_i_dont/
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First of all, hello. First time poster here. 17, F
I b/p and restrict for about 1.5 years now (or almost my whole Life if you count "dieting") and last autumn I felt so shitty, that I finally decided to tell my mum and older sister about it. They were really supportive and try to not trigger me, my mum buys na my safe foods and tries to not keep too many triggering stuff in the house. She is a big believer, and forces me (well, I technically have a choice, but if i don't go, she is mad at me for at least 2 days) to go to church every sunday. But the problem is, that the Church is for me one of the most triggering places I can imagine. I just feel so judged and... seen by everyone the second I step in, that after, I almost everytime b/p or fast. If that wasn't the case, even though i'm agnostic, I would go to this goddamn place just to shut her up. And today I finally told her how I feel about Church, and she had any significant reaction only after I told her I'm agnostic! She didn't care that i purge, restrict, feel so fucking anxious in there and it hurts so fucking much. NO, the only thing that really mattered to her, that made her eyes tear was the fact that I don't believe in god. I don't know what to do, i'm lying in my bed, crying. I want to binge so fucking much.
[Tip] Aminos
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 06:55:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p156s/aminos/
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I have to share this. If you get headaches from hunger it's usually lack of salt. 1 teaspoon of raw coconut aminos is 5 cals and if you hold it in your mouth for a little bit it's like having chinese takeout. That urgency to eat outside of your schedule goes away and so does the headache!
[Discussion] How do you manage date night?
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 06:38:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p12ww/how_do_you_manage_date_night/
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I'm seeing a pattern of slipping or binging on the nights I see my fiance. I'm not sure how to work around this.
Right now I'm debating between the classic "I already ate" (which will only work 3 out of 4 times I'm guessing) or allowing myself 800 cals on date nights and maintaining target deficits by cutting cals on other days of the week.
Thoughts? Strategies for not saddening/hurting SO's?
[Rant/Rave] When you meal plan for a week and someone eats something you had planned 🙃
/u/AnswerMyLove [5'9" | CW:139.2 | 21M 🐿]
Created: Sun Jul 23 06:31:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p122i/when_you_meal_plan_for_a_week_and_someone_eats/
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I'm not the type of person to usually get mad, but I am for some reason so mad rn. Maybe if it was anything else they ate of mine, I would've been fine but wtf??? They ate my sugar free jello!!! Most people don't go to the grocery to get SUGAR FREE jello!! Why did they do this?! They not only ate 1, but 2 of my 4 pack jello so now I have to modify two days 😔
I feel so stupid getting mad over this, but ugh. I just want to binge rn, but I keep reminding myself there's plenty more jello to go around. I can just get some more. It's fine. I'm one week binge free, I've only binged one day this month. I can't just allow myself to give in when things get tough.
Thanks for reading. I know this is stupid to be mad over, but I just needed to get that out
Not losing!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 06:28:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p11k3/not_losing/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 23 06:11:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0zbm/daily_food_diary_july_23_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 23, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 23 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0z9d/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Discussion] What scale do you use and how accurate do you thing it is?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sun Jul 23 05:24:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0tll/what_scale_do_you_use_and_how_accurate_do_you/
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I have a no name digital scale from amazon and O am terrified that its wrong. Help.
[Rant/Rave] i spend more time body checking than actually working on my body
/u/7376549
Created: Sun Jul 23 05:20:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0t7q/i_spend_more_time_body_checking_than_actually/
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just have to wonder how many more calories i'd burn if i used the time i spend pinching my fat & trying to wrap my hands round my arms & seeing how many fingers fit between my thighs... actually working out 🙃
[Help] How can i just stop thinking about food!?
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sun Jul 23 05:08:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0rth/how_can_i_just_stop_thinking_about_food/
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I am on a 48 hour water fast. I spent all of yesterday in bed because I was exhausted. Its day two and I feel a little better but i cant stop imagining food. Canoles, cheesecake, the donuts in the fridge... its like an obsessive, intrusive thought and i just need it to stop.
[Rant/Rave] Healthy people totally get naked in a stranger's bathroom to weigh themselves during a party, right?
/u/insigniania [5'7 | CW: 110 | 17.2 | F |]
Created: Sun Jul 23 04:27:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0nfe/healthy_people_totally_get_naked_in_a_strangers/
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When I see a scale, I already feel the need to check my weight to make sure my scale isn't off. And I always weigh naked at home... I've been trying to have healthier eating habits, but than I catch myself doing shit like this and realize little mental progress has been made (and no weight gain either). Does anyone else go through phases where they falsely feel like they're recovering? Anyone else drunkenly get naked in other people's bathrooms (for non-sexy reasons)? :P
[Rant/Rave] Self sabotage or truth?
/u/EllenEarMuffs
Created: Sun Jul 23 04:05:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0ky9/self_sabotage_or_truth/
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I'm really confused and torn right now. I've realised I haven't lost weight in years. Over the past 4 years I've gone from a 15 bmi to my current 22. It's been gaining a kilo here and there, me knuckling down which has prevented further gain but hasn't let me lose any.
It's only in yhe last few months that I went from 19 to 22 bmi, following bad side effects from anti depressants and a miscarriage. I've stopped gaining but I can not lose it.
I'm scared that I'm destined to be fat and I need to accept this or look into a medical reason.
I'm also scared I'm making excuses and just not trying hard enough.
Logically, I'm not trying hard enough. Calories in and calories out. It's that simple.
But I'm fatigued, and exhausted all of the time, something isn't right, I should find out what's wrong?
Or I'm making excuses. And am tired because I'm fat, and I shouldn't put any energy into searching for 'reasons'. That's energy I should put into eating right and exercising.
I think I have a deep belief that I wasn't meant to be thin, even with my 15 bmi it always felt like I had borrowed someone else's life for a while and that my fat life would come and reclaim me. And it has.
I think I need to be told there is a thin person within me.
[Rant/Rave] Gaining
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Sun Jul 23 03:24:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0gq9/gaining/
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I'm about two pounds away from being underweight, and the fact that I still wanna lose more scares me a bit. I've decided to try to gain some weight in muscle. Since what I hate is the fat and I really wanna feel strong, I figured building some muscle would help me stay healthy and still get me closer to my goal. I don't have a goal weight, basically just want a thigh gap and abs, and I hope I don't freak out and go back to restricting as heavily as I have lately. Wish me luck?
[Rant/Rave] One week into a road trip and I feel like garbage. Give me strength. [Pure complaining]
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 23 02:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p0d6x/one_week_into_a_road_trip_and_i_feel_like_garbage/
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I'm on the trip of a lifetime right now. Just over 2 weeks driving through all of Iceland. My family could never afford vacations, so this is our first (mother, brother, and I). My great-grandmother gave us a trip as a thank-you for helping her so much over the past couple years. It's amazing and I want so badly to enjoy it but it's difficult.
Holy shit, I thought I'd 'detox' this road trip but I didn't realize that we'd be eating pretty much only from the gas station. And promised myself I wouldn't buy sugar, but the stress of being in the car with my family has led me down the Haribo hell road. My family thinks we need to buy a week's worth of snacks in between stops.
I told myself I'd relax on this trip and let myself eat. There is no middle ground apparently. I've essentially given myself a free pass and I need to quit it. I'm stepping on the scale in a week and it better show some progress.
I've pooped twice and just got my period which means I'll have it for the remainder of the trip. I also can't purge at all on this trip and not being able to purge for 2 weeks is stressful since I've been doing it daily again recently.
We just had breakfast and it was some deli meat and cheese. That's it.
I have Larabars and I need to eat those so I can get some fiber. Jesus. To make it worse, I'm in a bathing suit every day. I was enjoying myself since I love swimming, but then I saw my reflection yesterday and it bummed me out.
----
I just want to drink water today. No more food. I'll feign illness, but I can't feel this bloated on top of my period.
TL;DR. Bloated, period, want to poop, too much junk food, missing fasting, need discipline, drinking so much water now.
[Rant/Rave] Hope this isn't breaking any rules but I need help also need to rant
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 23 01:53:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p07cr/hope_this_isnt_breaking_any_rules_but_i_need_help/
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Flair as help or rant rave
I have been fasting and walking a lot and working full time shifts on my feet. I do work tomorrow for another 8 hours and half to walk at least two and from work which would be 4 miles all together or so which is less than the 15 to 20 I've averaged the last three days.
I just want to know if trying to push myself to walk a lot tomorrow is worth it. It helps me mentally to stay away from home because it's a toxic environment right now but I feel like the time I would be walking could be dedicated to sleep and rest and like my legs could use a break at least from excessive walking.
I feel nervous about not walking though cause I feel like I need all the steps and burned calories. Yesterday I walked 20 miles or so or 42,000 steps and tonight I almost cried when my app was about to turn over and I was at over 20 miles but not past 40,000 steps. I felt so mad at myself.
I changed into comfier clothes and caught a glimpse of my torso without a shirt and immediately just felt awful. I haven't had the stomach to eat in 3 days now and every thing kills my physical appetite. My job of cooking food ironically make a me never want to eat at work because I see people ordering these gluttonous dishes and then I just get so turned off of the idea.
On the other hand when people heavily modify their dishes to be "healthier" I feel bitter and resentful because a part of me is petty and wishes everyone but me would just get fatter. I know it's really petty but a part of me feels like if everyone else was being I would be relatively smaller and not have to go through so much to try and be smaller.
Also a final thought. I feel reviewing my numbers and projections to lose if I fast and restrict and with set backs I can still reach my first goal weight by October or so but my biggest concern is how to go unnoticed. My goal weight is 50+ lbs less than my current estimates weight. I'm afraid I could only lose 10 pounds or so before someone notices but I want this goal more than anything.
I can keep wearing bigger oversized cozy clothes and when summer ends I can go back to layering to stay warm but I am afraid my family who I lived with for now will get mad at me or judge me.
So there's my rant and stuff. I feel so alone and miserable.
Willow.
[Intro] saying hi
/u/sd_tendencies
Created: Sun Jul 23 01:25:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p04ee/saying_hi/
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//throwaway acc//
been lurking for.. god knows how long now but idk finally felt the urge to say hi~
also note: I'm kinda new to the posting-to-reddit-thing so forgive my mistakes pls ahaha
little brief background, i guess?: I've always had issues with food but like, manageable you know? but just recently with the stress of school and work and everything else it's just come back in full swing and sometimes I eat too much and hate myself and then I don't eat for a day and feel vaguely faint and it's just kinda rough and I just feel like I'm all over the place all the time and floating instead of grounded, if that makes any sense...
ok ok gonna shut up now but just wanted to say hi and if this is at all against the rules then sorry sorry please tell me <3
[Rant/Rave] So fucking sick and tired of this god damn fucking cycle
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 01:22:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p03yk/so_fucking_sick_and_tired_of_this_god_damn/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Karma is a bitch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 01:18:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p03ju/karma_is_a_bitch/
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Today I went over my calorie limit. It wasn't even a binge, I just had one of those sudden but short-lived urges to recover. What happened immediately afterward? A pipe burst or something and now my basement is covered with water.
I guess the whole damn universe is telling me I don't deserve to eat.
[Rant/Rave] Reached a new low.
/u/amwub
Created: Sun Jul 23 00:56:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6p00ye/reached_a_new_low/
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Currently there is a bag of vomit wrapped in a towel shoved in a purse i never use. My rooms smells like nail polish remover and Victoria Secret perfume masking the smell of failure and disgust.
I knew I should've been full. Why do I have to be either full or starving? What is wrong with me.
I can't get fat again. Fatter than I am. I just can't. How am I going to go out there and face my family after finish a pint of full fat peanut butter ice cream all to myself. I know they suspect something. I'm such a failure.
Why did this disorder have to go so far. I don't even get the the ed everyone envies. I get the disgusting, smelly, lack of self control one that nobody gives a shit about. Just like everything in life even my FUCKING ED DISORDER IS SECOND BEST I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FUCK
[Rant/Rave] So happy I could cry! (SV)
/u/elliebearrrr [5'5.5" | SW:175lbs CW:158lbs GW1:154lbs | 25.9 | -17lbs | F21]
Created: Sun Jul 23 00:36:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozywr/so_happy_i_could_cry_sv/
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*on mobile so please flair as rave!* So I haven't been weighing myself for a few weeks, because last time I put on a whole pound overnight after a binge - up to 175lbs and thus over my 'absolute maximum limit' for myself which is 174 - I have always gone back to this number and it's haunted me in that every time I think I've lost weight and weighed myself I'm usually not far off it. My first goal is to get to 154lbs (which means I would no longer be 'overweight' with a BMI of 24.something) before the end of summer, so I've been calculating my BMR/TDEE, and using losertown religiously to see if I can get there, putting 170 as my estimated start weight. I haven't had a scale in my house, so when I went home to my parent's to visit them this week I brought mine back with me. I've been so anxious about getting on it but this morning I finally did aaaand.... 158lbs!! Which means I'm only 4lbs away from my first goal, AND I'm on my period so some of that will be water weight! I'm legit so happy right now, going to celebrate with a fast today and look forward to the maintenance day I'm gonna have once I hit 154. I know I still have a long way to go but if being 12lbs down from what I anticipated isn't great motivation, then I don't know what is! Telling you guys because I almost texted my mum and told her how much I've lost but then I remembered she's getting suspicious of how I'm doing it so that probably wouldn't have been the best idea haha. I'm so proud of all you guys, I hope you have the best day!!!
[Rant/Rave] Just hit my GW...
/u/babylemonadexx [5'7 ✨ | 101 🌺 | 15.6 💞]
Created: Sun Jul 23 00:25:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozxmx/just_hit_my_gw/
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...feelsunderwhelmingman.jpg
I was kind of expecting to feel ~meh~ about it, bc I know I'm still far from happy with my body, but it just makes me think, like - what's the point? Why spend so much time stressing and restricting and hiding myself away if it's never gonna be enough? What's it gonna take to finally not see myself as A Giant Fucking Whale™?
Sigh, idk. Just wanted to vent, I guess. Time to try and lose another 5 pounds 🙃
[Discussion] [discussion] relationships with folks who have their own mental health shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 23 00:01:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozuqj/discussion_relationships_with_folks_who_have/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Sat Jul 22 23:34:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozrcn/why_am_i_like_this/
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So I've had a goal to gain or maintain
So I gained and wanna die
Logical, yeah? 🙃
[Rant/Rave] The problem with having a sweet tooth
/u/grrrlgang [5'5" | SW: 170 | CW:161.4 | GW: 110]
Created: Sat Jul 22 23:25:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozqcn/the_problem_with_having_a_sweet_tooth/
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Hi this is my first time posting here so apologies for lack of flair or incorrect labeling as I'm on mobile.
Anyways the past couple days have been really good for me in terms of my calorie intake. Today I was at work from 12 till 7:30pm and didn't eat all day. As much as I wanted to binge I managed to stay way under my allotted 1,000 calories for today. I even turned down my friend's offer to go to a dessert bar, claiming I was too tired, because it would have put me way over.
The rant part comes in with the fact my friends brought me desserts back from where they went and they got me macarons which are a real weakness for me. I have a wicked sweet tooth so I try to avoid sweets at all costs.
Because of my low intake today I could manage to have one macaron today but I still have 6 just sitting there and I'm worried I'm going to binge on them later. I also have a creme brûlée bun with an unknown amount of calories and it's terrifying to me.
Sorry if this doesn't really belong here but I'm just so frustrated because I've been good with counting calories and have been steadily losing weight just to have my biggest temptation literally delivered to my doorstep. All I can hope is that my willpower doesn't fail me now.
[Intro] Hi, everyone
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 201 lb | GW: 120 lb | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 22:56:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozmeu/hi_everyone/
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Hi, I don't know quite why I feel the need to make an introduction, but here I am! I've been lurking for a little while, and I finally scrounged up the courage to make a new account and participate. This is the first community on Reddit I've ever felt like I belonged in. I know I'm way more fat and gross than a lot of you, but I found this place to bee a safe area to express the discomfort I have for the body I'm in, my desire to change it, and the methods I use. Anyway, I hope this doesn't break any rules, thanks for listening
[Help] Does anyone else have attention-seeking behavior associated with having ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 22:32:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oziw4/does_anyone_else_have_attentionseeking_behavior/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What's the cringiest mantra you have for yourself?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 22:29:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozig3/whats_the_cringiest_mantra_you_have_for_yourself/
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whenever I have homework and want to binge, I tell myself "go binge on KNOWLEDGE instead of calories"
or when I want to eat but think I'll binge "If I eat anything, I'll eat everything, so I'll eat nothing"
[Rant/Rave] I want to cry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 22:27:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozi7y/i_want_to_cry/
---
So I was at a mathcamp thing all week and just got back. it was great while I was there bc almost no supervision so I could easily eat 800ish a day without anyone bothering me about it.
Today I kinda binged. I probably had 2400 total. And yeah, I know that thats only 600 over my TDEE and I ate 1000 under it every day last week, I still feel like shit
I feel like this is going to undo all my progress even though it's mathematically impossible
[Rant/Rave] Losing inches but not weight? [Rant]
/u/stickbuggy [6'1.5" | 190lb | 23.5 | -60lb | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 22:10:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozfpm/losing_inches_but_not_weight_rant/
---
I've been the same weight for 2 weeks now. I know that my calorie counts are good, and I should have lost at the very least 2 lbs by now. But I'm still stuck at the same weight as before. I've even become more active in these past 2 weeks! I bike 5-6 miles every week day. And walk a ton on the weekend, too. My measurements are slightly smaller too (waist, hips, thighs, etc). Yet there's literally no movement on the scale. FML.
[Humor] I'm 75% more likely to buy anything if it has "zero" on it: here, we have a shower gel bottle.
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 | Male]
Created: Sat Jul 22 22:06:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozf2r/im_75_more_likely_to_buy_anything_if_it_has_zero/
---
https://i.redd.it/bzumhd56o9bz.jpg
[Humor] DAE get naked in bathrooms at parties to look at urself in different lighting?
/u/lock-box
Created: Sat Jul 22 21:51:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozcxm/dae_get_naked_in_bathrooms_at_parties_to_look_at/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ozcxm/dae_get_naked_in_bathrooms_at_parties_to_look_at/
[Rant/Rave] drunk and alone and happy bc i love you all
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 118.2 | 19.9 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 21:32:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oz9zd/drunk_and_alone_and_happy_bc_i_love_you_all/
---
who cares that my throat is scratchy from purging or that not a day has gone by in twelve years that i haven't obsessed about my weight/calories
you all are great and deserve happiness and beauty <3 give yourself a hug from me please?
[Rant/Rave] Watching the sunset with a cigarette
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 21:24:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oz8v3/watching_the_sunset_with_a_cigarette/
---
I'm on mobile so please flair accordingly.
Today was a good day. Ate only about 600 calories and went on two walks, so my rewards were a few cigarettes.
Yesterday I had eaten a lot more, so I'm proud today.
[Rant/Rave] Currently laying in bed, can't find the motivation to get up and get ready for bed
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sat Jul 22 21:02:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oz5h1/currently_laying_in_bed_cant_find_the_motivation/
---
I need to put my teeth whitening trays in and brush my teeth
I need to take my makeup off and wash my face
I need to put my prescription topical for acne on my face
But my bed feels so amazing
[Other] It's only been 22 days... (thoughts)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 20:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oz4mm/its_only_been_22_days_thoughts/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Freaking failure
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 20:37:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oz1jz/freaking_failure/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/Jellygator0
Created: Sat Jul 22 20:27:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oyzyu/i_hate_myself/
---
[removed]
[Other] I fantasise about faking an OD to get my stomach pumped after a binge.
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Sat Jul 22 20:16:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oyyav/i_fantasise_about_faking_an_od_to_get_my_stomach/
---
Unfortunately, it's not very realistic (no good place to stage it for attention, would need to convincingly fake symptoms, would it even help?, etc.), but a girl can dream. Binged today and thought about it again.
[Rant/Rave] How are companies allowed to blatantly lie about the amount of calories in their products
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 20:02:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oyvzf/how_are_companies_allowed_to_blatantly_lie_about/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Jealousy
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 19:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oyuhn/jealousy/
---
So I used to be a super skinny kid. 'Friends' would taunt me and call me lanky. I hated it. I hated being so tall. I hated being so thin.
Looking back I realised I was the perfect shape and I let mean girls convince me otherwise because they were jealous.
I would kill to be lanky again.
[Rant/Rave] i am high as shit
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Sat Jul 22 19:44:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oysxh/i_am_high_as_shit/
---
i'm pretty high and i'm really proud of myself because i was fasting and (even though i was aiming for 48) i made it to 43.88 hours before eating 40 calories of strawberries because i'm high
edit: i have had 13 rice cakes and am gonna have five more. i don't really feel bad about it since i just beat my last lowest weight and rice cakes are better than a lot of other things.
[Rant/Rave] Sick of the voice in my head
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sat Jul 22 19:39:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oys4c/sick_of_the_voice_in_my_head/
---
My appetite was dead this evening. But I'm really trying to just stop restricting so low because I don't wanna binge so I made myself eat something. Started eating other stuff because that's usually what happens. And once again, I stopped a huge binge, it wasn't even a baby binge. It was normal eating. I still ate under maintenance, plus burned 500 calories running. Yet the voices in my head kept battling between "no one will love you if you aren't skinny think of your goals" and "no one will love you-what's the point?"
I hate that I think of how I'm way skinnier than my ex's gf, and how it fuels me to want to be even *skinnier*. I hate how I just want to slip back into restricting so that maybe if he sees me I'll be shockingly thin and he will somehow want me, even though he said I was too thin before. But I know he loved it. I hate how he triggered a relapse. I hate how I used to be able to eat in a balanced normal way and now I just can't. There's always that fucking voice.
[Help] My roommate is getting suspicious of me and my ED.
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sat Jul 22 19:37:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oyru0/my_roommate_is_getting_suspicious_of_me_and_my_ed/
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Tonight, my roommate and her boyfriend were sat at our table eating dinner. I came to get my acv water out of the fridge, and she just commented on how I don't eat enough after making a joke about me being in my room all day. I of course was trying to get the subject off of my eating, but then she said 'I don't understand why you won't just fucking eat.' And her boyfriend laughed after mocking me about mentioning some of the food I consumed.
It made me feel so bad. I know that she's never had any body image issues, and since I love her, I kind of just took it. She has no idea how hard it's been for me, and I know if I told her she would hover even harder than she already has been. I literally just got to a point where I'm happy about where I am and how I'm going to get to my goal weight, and now I just feel like shit.
How have any of you handled dismissive friends/family/so's? I feel like this is tricky, and that she'll be watching me even closer.
[Thinspo] Dear lord of thinness she is my ultimate goals
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Sat Jul 22 19:31:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oyqug/dear_lord_of_thinness_she_is_my_ultimate_goals/
---
https://i.redd.it/a7esfq9mw8bz.png
[Rant/Rave] overreacting to food
/u/wittywaif [5'6" | whale | 22.8 | -115 | f]
Created: Sat Jul 22 19:26:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oypx9/overreacting_to_food/
---
so today i had to go to two different bbqs today, both of which had way to much food that i couldn't estimate/guess and i didn't know how long we were going to be there for so i honestly felt so much unnecessary stress. at the first bbq i just ate some snacks i had in my purse, feeling super proud and in control of what's happening despite food pushers galore.
at the second bbq there wasn't ANYTHING remotely "safe" for me to eat (chips, kebab, roast chicken, meat pies, curry) let alone vegetarian for me to eat. my parents were eating and my dad commented that the veggie spring rolls were pretty good. as we were leaving we were sent home with food and what i thought was a plate of veggie spring rolls. being so goddamn smug that i hadn't eaten anything but a few handfuls of popcorn at bbq #2 i decide to eat half a spring roll in the car and there's CHICKEN IN IT. i've been trying so hard to be a vegetarian for the past several months and literally i just broke down.
WHAT. THE. FUCK!? i end up sobbing uncontrollably over eating half a chicken spring roll - sad that i was weak for eating a spring roll, sad that i was eating a dead bird, sad that i let a piece of deep fried pastry make me feel so goddamn helpless. my poor dad was so overwhelmed at his 23 year old daughter ugly blubbering over eating two bites of a chicken spring roll that he bought me my favourite rainier cherries at the grocery store just to console me. i am equal parts grateful, mortified, embarrassed and just... so over the ed part of my brain that could not handle eating something with meat in it.
[Other] Anyone else have kids or babysit and wait till they go to sleep to b/p?
/u/082616
Created: Sat Jul 22 19:12:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oynn1/anyone_else_have_kids_or_babysit_and_wait_till/
---
No? Just me? Cool. Lol. There goes the cherries, jalapeño cheetos (which fortunately were less spicy coming up), gelato, trail mix, and chips and salsa. Didn't really plan on it but after I had the gelato I was like, oh well, may as have some chips and salsa and more cherries if they are coming up.
[Rant/Rave] I messed up
/u/notlion [5'9.5" | 21.8 | 24F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 17:48:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oy96c/i_messed_up/
---
Visiting family and we went out to eat. I gorged myself on chips, queso and food. Feeling like shit, I downed an entire glass of water with plans to purge... Nope. The bathroom was packed with people. I couldn't do it. I want to kill myself really.
[Discussion] Prozac?
/u/Runrabbitrunrunrun
Created: Sat Jul 22 17:37:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oy77k/prozac/
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Has anyone taken prozac and not gained weight? I am on it for my depression but I'm terrified of taking it regularly and gaining weight so I keep skipping days. I would rather be depressed and sleep all day than gain weight
[Discussion] Does Animo have an eating disorder group?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 17:02:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oy14c/does_animo_have_an_eating_disorder_group/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] iOS text prediction knows me a little too well.
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW (In PHP) | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 16:48:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxykz/ios_text_prediction_knows_me_a_little_too_well/
---
http://i.imgur.com/tbQUC6c.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel decently confident in my body for the first time.
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Sat Jul 22 16:42:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxxe4/i_feel_decently_confident_in_my_body_for_the/
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I'm confused because I still hate a lot of myself and I can see flaws on my body and I'm striving for even further perfection but like....I feel confident in my body. I wore a bikini to the beach. I took a picture in said bikini on the beach. *I posted said picture on instagram*. WITHOUT. EDITING. ANYTHING. What the fuck? I can't believe that this is my actual body. It doesn't feel like it's really mine. And people keep asking me about my workout and diet routine and it's like this is my own little secret. To the world, I'm ~effortlessly~ losing weight like crazy by doing an hour of cardio 3x a week and eating 1400 cal a day. LOL if only they knew :-)
[Discussion] This video is a 17 stone (238lb) woman's autopsy to show obesity's impact on the human body. *NSFW*
/u/ThicPiddy
Created: Sat Jul 22 16:40:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxx33/this_video_is_a_17_stone_238lb_womans_autopsy_to/
---
https://youtu.be/8jn67tdEGY4
[Help] I don't know how to increase my intake
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 16:39:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxwwj/i_dont_know_how_to_increase_my_intake/
---
hello.
I posted on No Stupid Questions but I thought this might merit its own post because I wanted to get different perspectives
I'm trying to find out my maintenance.
I wanted to go from 500-600 to 700-800, increasing by around 100 every few days. I was around 670-690ish last week.
This week I've been slipping and going back to 600ish. (edit: well, it's more like 576, 608, 590, 490, and 563, but the 490 was more of a random blip so I don't count it) Right now I don't know if there would be any negative consequences of immediately going back to 670-690. do I have to do the increasing by 100 every few days thing again?
I don't have a history of binge eating or purging, just restriction, if that helps.
Thanks. :3
[Humor] Bulimia pro tip
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 22 16:21:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxtlz/bulimia_pro_tip/
---
If you already have to pee every five minutes (I drink a lot of water, it's become a running joke how often I have to pee), people won't bat an eye when you get up to go to the bathroom multiple times in a meal. Lol
[Rant/Rave] Recovery Instagrams bother me..
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Sat Jul 22 16:19:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxt81/recovery_instagrams_bother_me/
---
Here me out. I think recovery is amazing. The thing is, when ever I see a Instagram that's recovery I get the wrong message. They post food but it's clearly really unhealthy. Like recovery doesn't mean to just eat Oreos and pizza. I think this is a way to fail. Wouldn't you want to eat healthy so you could maintain a nice body image? I know if I recovered I would focus on muscle and gaining healthy weight to contribute to my success. I wouldn't eat junk food to become obese
This is just how I feel. I'm not saying I am right.
[Rant/Rave] so i'm in "recovery" again
/u/gameofboness
Created: Sat Jul 22 16:09:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxrc9/so_im_in_recovery_again/
---
i say again cause i recovered sort of for real then relapsed then "recovered" fakely for my family but they found out since i wasn't maintaining and now i'm fake recovering....again!
basically i'm supposed to eat 1200 a day (3 average portioned meals). i've been skimming 900-1000 except also exercising like crazy which i never did before so i feel like my fake recovery is anti recovering me.
i know eventually i'll hit bottom, i just wish i could get there at my pace instead of being jerked around. i get their concern and i'm not pushing them away or anything even though i did briefly consider breaking up with my bf so i wouldn't have to eat with him.
this probably sounds insane, idk. how have you all been?
also i had to unfollow rawalignment because she quit the Appalachian trail to "eat clean again" and now she's going to get her colon flushed from nasty trail mix toxins? at least im not the only insane one.
[Rant/Rave] Everyone knows I have an ED, they just don't care.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:58:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxp81/everyone_knows_i_have_an_ed_they_just_dont_care/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Working out because I saw a gross picture of myself today. Feeling discouraged today.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:55:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxooi/working_out_because_i_saw_a_gross_picture_of/
---
https://instagram.com/p/BW3UwMqAktg8yD-luHZf7gKkvAFU4Fi_mg9O4Y0/
[Help] Ephedrine
/u/totalbabes [5'0 | CW: 90 lbs | BMI 17.6 | Weight Lost: 24 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:44:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxmjg/ephedrine/
---
How much of this stuff can I take at a time without going crazy?
[Rant/Rave] SV! Lost 3 lbs!!
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:44:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxmjc/sv_lost_3_lbs/
---
I haven't weighed myself in about 3 days just cuz i've been so fucking busy but..... I LOST 3 LBS! I honestly didn't even feel like my restriction was high enough to do that but damn this is like a whole new level of motivation!!
Good to feel happier about myself for once
(sorry on mobile please flair as rave😁)
[Discussion] Ballerina Tea.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:41:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxm2w/ballerina_tea/
---
[removed]
[Humor] "Sadly some of us need to eat more than just air to survive..."
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:37:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxl7h/sadly_some_of_us_need_to_eat_more_than_just_air/
---
My husband and I were getting ready to go out and he asked me if he had time to have lunch first. I sighed, apparently loud enough for him to hear, and said "yes".
He responded by saying "Sadly some of us need to eat more than just air to survive!"
It tickled me, obviously I need to eat food too, but it was obviously a humorous dig at me who skips lunch.
I have also been told by two different people that I look "amazing" this week. Must be all that air! 🙃
[Rant/Rave] The stupid shit I cry about
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:17:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxhj3/the_stupid_shit_i_cry_about/
---
Literally shit from like 15 years ago. When I was like 5 or 6 we visited some family friends one summer. They also had a daughter who was like a year and a half older than me and taller than me, but thinner. My dad picked her up and said she was "light as a feather". I thought since she was older than me she shouldn't be lighter than me, and I should be smaller because I'm younger.
I wished I was a light as a feather, all my dad ever compared me to was a fucking bowling ball, in jest, and I even understood as a child that he was joking. I knew I wasn't fat but I wasn't light as a feather.
I think about this way too often & I sometimes cry about this, it's actually so stupid.
edit:grammar
[Discussion] People you miss, those you want to know.
/u/bir_die [🌸 5'8" | 117.6 | 17.69 | GW: 115 | 23 Bird 🌸]
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:17:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxhif/people_you_miss_those_you_want_to_know/
---
Make some friends, toss around some nostalgia.
Had this on one of my older forums I was active on; just post someone or someones you miss- be it friends, reddit users, family, whatever- or people you've been wanting to know but are too shy/have lack of opportunity to otherwise!
Put yourself out there! Get some of those social juices flowin'! Share your social media, tag some bitches, just fling yourself at people with no regard!!
**And for obvious reasons**: dear god *please* **do not ask for Ana/Mia buddies**. No accountability buddies here. Please don't ruin this thread with that ish. I will cry a lot and have to put on my mod pants and I hate that.
So gogogo!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
[Rant/Rave] my life is a never ending diet
/u/sugarpiIl
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:16:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxhc2/my_life_is_a_never_ending_diet/
---
i just wish i had normal eating habits it’s so hard to always go back and forth with weight with mental illnesses with everything
i was doing so well for awhile
[Other] UPLIFTING READ: Evanescence responds to suicide of Chester Bennington
/u/nodamncatnodamncradl [5'10 | 128 LB | 17.91 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:03:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxev8/uplifting_read_evanescence_responds_to_suicide_of/
---
(sorry if this is a weird thing to submit)
-life vs death-
STOP. Please. Listen.
We have to rise up against this depression together. We are literally killing ourselves. Hope is alive. It's in all of us. We just have to trust it. Quiet your cynisicm, stop hating yourself. Open your broken heart to the people around you.
You ARE worth fighting for. Talk to someone if you feel alone or crazy or sad. 3am. Fine. Your life is worth a billion times more than somebody being inconvenienced.
You are more than what you DO. You just as you, right now, apart from your job, your creations, your productivity, the role you play-JUST YOU is enough. Your life IS worth living, don't kid yourself. Human life is the most precious thing on earth, and there's no two of us the same. You are the ONLY you, and you are beautiful, unique. You are NOT alone- we are all hurting and sometimes feel like we don't know how the fuck we're going to get through another day of whatever we're going through. But I'll tell you this from experience, TONIGHT IS NOT FOREVER. Don't throw it all away when you don't even know what tomorrow is. This is not the end of the story. Love is the answer. You're not selfish or vain or a bitch to love something about yourself. You're not stupid to see something in yourself you want others to see. You are worthy. You are precious. And if you back out on life, you'll never get to see all that you are capable of, all that life has to show you. You have no idea what things will look like in 5 years, and it goes by in a BLINK. Hold on.
Don't envy the outpouring of love and grief for those we've lost. They're gone and we're all devastated. You wouldn't even be here to see us mourning you. Whether you realize it or not, people are counting on you. The incredible pain your mother, your brother, your friends would feel if you ended your life- the damage you would do in their lives if you did- they would never be the same. You don't want to do that to anyone. Be patient, be strong, call somebody.
We all have to endure impossibly hard things sometimes. Sometimes that awful phase seems like it's going to go on forever. It's not. It's ok to be tired, desperately sad, lonely and lost. That's human. We need each other to get through it. The love we can feel through the communion of that almost unspeakable brokenness, once finally confessed, is surprisingly beautiful, and refreshingly real. People need people. It's time to help each other up. We are all here, bracing ourselves against the same shitstorm. You're not alone. Don't give up. You're not trapped, you're free if you say you are. Just stand up and run. Scream if you need to. Just hang on. Please, for the love of God hang on. We need you.
[Discussion] Our Insta Kitchen
/u/dazedhands
Created: Sat Jul 22 15:02:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxesf/our_insta_kitchen/
---
Y'all lovely people are so talented with your recipes...
I was hoping we could start our own personal tag on Instagram so that just us could share our foods? I would post what I end up making here, but I also don't want to obnoxiously flood the place with my pics. I made a super simple post with calorie info and steps as a test on Instagram using the tag #myanakitchen, but then I thought- ehhhh that's not exactly subtle. Anyone have any suggestions for a safe and unique tag?
I'm always reading through your guy's stuff, but this is my first post, so let me know if I did anything I wasn't supposed to.
[Rant/Rave] Why isn't food addiction taken as seriously as alcohol addiction?
/u/kid_crad
Created: Sat Jul 22 14:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxe21/why_isnt_food_addiction_taken_as_seriously_as/
---
Like, for example, when someone says "I'm 3 years sober!" Everyone claps. If I say "I'm 3 years at a healthy weight!" Everyone is like, "ok, idiot, we can all do that. animals can do that. everyone can do that except you."
I hate the double standard. Sugar is literally an addictive substance. We have an obesity epidemic. People should be singing high praises for those who overcame EDs. They are literal addictions to being skinny, or on the other side, literal addictions to food for *some* BP and BED folks.
I want credit for my suffering. I want to be validated.
Fellow proED people. Please read
/u/xsign_here
Created: Sat Jul 22 14:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oxdc3/fellow_proed_people_please_read/
---
[removed]
ProED buddy
/u/xsign_here
Created: Sat Jul 22 14:33:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ox93v/proed_buddy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] How has your weekend been going?
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 135 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 14:15:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ox5kp/how_has_your_weekend_been_going/
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I am home alone all weekend. Pretty much all my dad asked me to do was take out the recycling and watch the dog. Definitely forgot the recycling but my dog's doing swell cause I'm the only one who takes her on long walks.
Friday, went to dinner with my grandma and aunt. They sent me home with all the leftovers cause they love me but the universe hates me and wants me to be fat forever.
Today, all I wanted to do was tan naked while I have the house to myself. So to go with the universe against me theme of course it thunderstorms all afternoon. Instead I took some adderal, watched Netflix very productively, and and have been cleaning the house and listening to podcasts. Appetite suppressant + GI effect + finally some energy got me feeling light though.
Been smoking weed without worrying about covering up the smell so that's been nice. REALLY been craving cigs but all I got is this little vape poof poof, it's ok but not the same.
Haven't been as depressed/paranoid as I usually am when left alone, so that's a plus. Getting more and more used to just being on my own, not relying on people to make me feel better.
Edit: anyone seen weeds before? I swear Nancy has some type of ED
just found out I'm shorter than I always thought and I want to fucking die.
/u/siamesealmeidaa [height:5'6" | CW:102lbs | BMI:16.5| weight lost:35lb | gender:F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 13:59:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ox2aa/just_found_out_im_shorter_than_i_always_thought/
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I'm with friends trying not to fucking scream and cry please please help me
[Discussion] What stopped this binge...
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sat Jul 22 13:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owx42/what_stopped_this_binge/
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I've lost a bunch of weight, but this month I've been soo bad! I keep getting these cravings that require me to shove massive amounts of food into my mouth. It's a competition between my mouth and my hands, who can finish their job faster. I eat to the point where I feel sick, but then I think to myself if I eat more it might all just come out naturally... and I'll have my binge and not gain the weight.
I was playing pool a few days ago with people I met that day. One of the women was friendly and nice, but she was huge... probably obese+ BMI. We were playing a game together and I was watching her bending over the table and I was disgusted and turned off. After that I've lost my appetite and no longer binge. I feel terrible thinking this.
[Help] Wedding tonight, going to go over my calories FOR SURE (help/rant)
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 13:22:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owuvu/wedding_tonight_going_to_go_over_my_calories_for/
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RIP in peace my 8 day no binge, all vegetables and exercise, 9 lbs lost.
It's my sisters wedding tonight, and there's going to be Indian food served. Like rice and curried chickpeas and samosas and all that shit Like what am I even going to do. I've been eating 150-200 calories. I mean, I'm supposed to be doing 500, that's what I told myself, and MFP, but I feel so much more proud when I do less.
Anyways. Does anyone have any tips for this kind of shit? I'm going to lose my mind. There's of course gonna be 4.5 hours of dancing and I'm not going to sit down. 😭 I'm gonna gain so much
[Goal] Finally met my first goal weight and....
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 114 lbs | bmi 17.9 | 20yr female]
Created: Sat Jul 22 13:21:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owuqy/finally_met_my_first_goal_weight_and/
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I just feel sad and empty.
It has been about 2.5 months and 30 lbs since this relapse started. I told myself that i would stop just under 120. Well, here i am. 5'7 and 118 lbs- but I don't see any end in sight.
I am not even that thin but my disorder has still managed to fuck everything up. I am too exhausted to go run errands or do my best at my job. I cancel plans with friends because i am afraid of being forced to eat food. Everything i really care about is being brushed to the side because i just wont nourish myself. What a chump.
[Rant/Rave] Oh god I think I'm back for real. CW: depression, self harm [rant/rave]
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 13:08:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owsbf/oh_god_i_think_im_back_for_real_cw_depression/
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I'm just here to talk, there's no real point to this post, besides whatever mental validation I get when people tell me they feel similarly to me. (?)
I've been around a bit lately, mostly just lurking. I kept telling myself I was going to not get sucked back into this again, but holy god I forgot how amazing it feels. I took an EC stack today for the first time in months, and I just feel like I'm flying. I feel empty and beautiful and light, like I could do anything. I haven't even lost that much weight yet (I've only been restricting again for a few weeks) but I feel like I've gotten my life back in order. Everything makes sense again.
My other self-destructive habits lessen when I restrict. I feel better about myself. The things that I don't like about myself I KNOW are my fault and I can fix them. I've stopped cutting. I feel proud of myself. I like myself better this way. I can't remember why I even left in the first place.
[Intro] Recovery blog
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Sat Jul 22 12:58:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owq5d/recovery_blog/
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Hi friends! I'm working on recovering from relapsing super hard this past year. I'll be documenting my progress on a Tumblr that I've just recently started.
It'll have thoughts, body pics, and photos of my aerial arts progression as well as my self care progression.
If folks are interested in following, I'll also post tips (not pro-ed tips, but more self-care/positivity/harm reduction type tips).
PM me for the link! I'm keeping it super personal (even from my partner), but if I can be encouraging of recovery to anyone I'm open to sharing with people on this sub.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so hungry...
/u/imprettyhopeless [5'1 | 113 | 22.30 | -39 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 12:15:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owhe8/im_so_hungry/
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I can feel my control slipping away. I've been so good at restricting for months and moths now, but lately, especially now that my goal weight is finally within reach, it's been getting harder and harder to ignore how fucking starving I am all the time.
I still usually manage to stay under 1000 calories a day, but my daily limit has gone up from 300-600 to 700-900, just because I don't have the willpower to deny myself food anymore.
I'm so afraid that a switch is going to flip and that I'm not going to be able to stop eating until I'm right back up at my starting weight. I also feel like a quitter, I'm closer to my ugw than I've been in years. I feel like a runner who ran out of steam on the final lap.
[Rant/Rave] This sucks.
/u/Light__Bright [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Jul 22 12:12:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owgsw/this_sucks/
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I've been here awhile but I mostly just lurk because I am embarrassed that my weight has stayed high for this long. I'm not obese or anything, but I am just barely overweight enough to be "chubby." I don't feel like myself anymore, and I am so ashamed of photos and videos of myself that keep cropping up on Facebook and Youtube due to being involved in the performing arts. (I actually posted about this a year ago, confident that I would lose the weight before this happened AGAIN. But, fail.) I cringe so much when I see these, and I have terribly negative thoughts about "I've been this size for three years now, most of the people who know me these days ONLY know me as fat."
To keep this brief, I gained weight due to depression in grad school. I was a heavy restricter who also purged for about six years, and maintained a low weight. I initially lost 60 lbs, and then gained 15 or so back and maintained. However, the behaviors were having negative consequences in my life and were sabotaging my goals, so I got outpatient treatment during my undergrad. I was able to get to where the behaviors pretty much ceased even though I still had the mindset. (I would still occasionally slip up and purge if I felt like I had eaten too much.) I drank pretty heavily throughout grad school (four years total), which I think is the main reason for the weight gain and why I've had trouble losing much. I gained about 30 lbs.
After I graduated, this past May-June I really kicked everything into gear and managed to drop some weight, but I can tell that it's all back now. This always happens. I will get depressed again, hang out with friends, drink more, snack when I drink, etc, and voila, I'm back at a weight that I hate. It doesn't help that I have not had much success since I've graduated, I've been totally broke, and I feel like a loser! I used to think that higher education= success, but this is not the case.
I have been purging again lately, which is also embarrassing and I do not want to do it anymore. I just want to be able to restrict to 800 -1000 a day and go for long walks like I used to. I want to look and feel like myself again without falling into dangerous habits, isolating myself, and having it consume me. It's such a thin line. Has anyone else experienced this?
(BTW I am aware that feeling out of control and not having direction in my life right now could be causing the ED to resurface. However, I'm not sure that it ever went away.)
[Rant/Rave] I am alone and pretty much at peace with it.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 22 12:09:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owg4h/i_am_alone_and_pretty_much_at_peace_with_it/
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I am on mobile flair as rant rave
I'd rather have no friends than be the designated ugly fat friend. I worked 4 to 5 days and week and sometimes feel like I get a long with my coworkers but it is a stretch to say I am friends with anyone.
I don't do social things and no one shares my interests. My one coworker who I had shared interests with got fired because they were kind of a flake.
I spend 80 to 90% of my time outside of work alone and when I'm at work I try to put on the best face and just deal. I don't talk a lot and just kind of get in the zone. No one wants honesty or to know I'm miserable so I keep it to myself.
Cooking is stressful and yet just as tinder to the fire that is my ED I see people eat and i immediately don't want to. The only times I eat anymore are binges when I am alone at home but I've been getting out of the house more and forcing myself to walk for hours before and after work.
I feel like even if I did reach a desired weight or look I will remain lonely I can't pull a social life out of my ass and feel too paranoid about being sabatoged by people. I hate being human and I hate being American. I hate the obesity epidemic and how I feel like it's normal. I will kill myself perusing this than be another archetypal fatass American.
That's it.
Willow
[Rant/Rave] SSRIs are the best and the worst...
/u/foreverthefatgirl [5'11 | CW: FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 11:59:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owe0l/ssris_are_the_best_and_the_worst/
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I decided to start taking my Lexapro again in a desperate attempt to be done with my depression (lmao sike good try me), but suddenly it's making me sick? I get a bit nauseous, shaky, and can't stop clenching my jaw and yawning. Sounds shitty, right?
WRONG, because it makes me have absolutely no appetite, meaning I haven't eaten in 2 days.
That makes me happier that any sort of antidepressant could, and I'm probably going to keep taking them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Rant/Rave] These next two weeks are gonna suck.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 11:39:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6owa4f/these_next_two_weeks_are_gonna_suck/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Recommend your favorite free pedometer app for Android
/u/LittleBlueEyes [30F/5'1", SW 150, CW 129.2, BMI 25.49, GW 110/BMI 21.7]
Created: Sat Jul 22 11:34:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ow915/recommend_your_favorite_free_pedometer_app_for/
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Can anyone recommend a free pedometer app for Android? I'm not even sure if my simplistic little phone can track this, since it's an LG Tribute HD and cost all of $50.
Just in case it can, what apps do you like? Any you stay away from? I'm not picky, so I'll go with the only preferences I can think of: I want it to tell me how many steps I took, how long I spent walking, and the distance I walked in miles.
Also, I'd rather the colors not be orange or pink. :)
[Discussion] Carlorie counting app
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Sat Jul 22 11:02:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ow2ow/carlorie_counting_app/
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Does anybody else use the Carrot calorie counting app? It's like my inner voice telling me not to overeat 😂 if not what calorie trackers do you guys use? Just curious!!
[Help] Restriction symptoms or anxiety?
/u/greensquarequilt [5'1.5 | 81.4lbs | 15.74 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 11:00:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ow28r/restriction_symptoms_or_anxiety/
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So I'm just kind of spiralling and confused right now, but for the last week or so, I've been restricting pretty strictly (~ 300cal a day) and have noticed that it often feels like my heart is beating too hard / is going to beat out of my chest.
I just can't tell if it's because I'm restricting so much or because of anxiety (I recently switched medications and am trying to sort that out too), so I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with something similar?
[Other] Update: OA meeting
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Sat Jul 22 10:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovyq0/update_oa_meeting/
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Omg y'all. First off, I want to send so much thanks and love to everyone here and who commented on my previous thread. Y'all are amazing! Secondly, it went well! I feel really proud and motivated to have my first real chip. It's like a concrete reminder to keep fighting. Although I don't want to fully recover yet, i do want to find a way out of my cycle of binging as a crutch for my anger and anxiety. They were not pushy or preachy. There were all kinds of people. I liked it. I will def be coming back. I'm nervous but I WANT MY 1 MONTH CHIP! It's going to be difficult. It's going to be trying, but I haven't made a month before. Again, I love you lovelies. I hope y'all have an amazing day 😍
[Discussion] Being caught and near misses (purging/chewing & spitting)
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Sat Jul 22 10:24:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovv0e/being_caught_and_near_misses_purgingchewing/
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Guys I have purged so much in my life that I'm shocked I've only been caught once.
I've purged in public bathrooms with multiple stalls, at work, at people's homes, at my home with my roommate in the bathroom (our door closes off the the toilet), in the shower...
I want to hear your near miss stories or times someone has confronted you about vomit on your face or hearing your vomiting sounds or finding your bag of vomit/spit up food.
[Discussion] What are you hoping for this summer?
/u/borbolete [5'4.3" | 🍑: borbolete]
Created: Sat Jul 22 10:13:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovssn/what_are_you_hoping_for_this_summer/
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I dunno, the past couple of weeks I've been feeling incredibly nostalgic for my long summers in school (I'm mid 20s now). I keep feeling as if I have memories of long hot days of hanging around town, sitting in the garden or in the park, doing nothing productive... honestly I don't even remember if these are real memories or not or if I've just made them up? I just feel like I want to escape into them and really enjoy this summer but I'm not really sure how.
Summer is a bit of a trigger weight loss wise (constant references in media and so on to having the perfect beach body) so I wondered what little things you want to try and do in order to have a great summer? ED related or non ED related.
For me, I'm going to get lost in books and in poetry/story writing as much as I can. ED-wise I'd love to hit my goal weight in the next two weeks but also I'm going to look in the mirror and say 'I love you' more often.
[Tip] Low calorie sour fruit!
/u/Glazed9000 [5'7' | 113 | 17.7 ]
Created: Sat Jul 22 10:08:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovru5/low_calorie_sour_fruit/
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Tamarind is a pod-like fruit that is somewhat sweet and really sour. It's like a natural warhead candy and each fruit pod thingy is only 5 calories. I'll have two of them and they fulfill my cravings. They sell them near the dried peppers at Sprouts, and they probably sell them at Asian and Indian markets. Hope this helps you guys :)
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] I lost 7 pounds in less than a week and a half.
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sat Jul 22 10:05:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovr97/rave_i_lost_7_pounds_in_less_than_a_week_and_a/
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It's been about 9ish days since I started restricting hardcore, and I know it's mostly water weight, but I'm really happy. My body looks completely different already in my opinion. It's crazy how quickly this is happening, even being under 1,000 calories. :') I just need to find a good (tmi) gentle laxative so I can really have better weigh days, just because I can already feel myself getting backed up. I never used them when I used to restrict because I didn't want anyone to ask questions. Now that I'm an adult, it's easier to get away with things like that. I also want to find a better way that I can exercise at home without getting too dizzy. I've been running this week, but I hate feeling sick for hours after. Any recommendations would be appreciated. :-)
[Rant/Rave] "Starving yourself will KILL you!" (trigger warning)
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sat Jul 22 08:51:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovd3s/starving_yourself_will_kill_you_trigger_warning/
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quelle surprise. never realized that. gosh, now that you say that, all my troubles are over.
I have things to live for, it's true:
1: new job
2: maybe possibly being attractive to somebody someday
3-499: ???
500: new Harry Potter
I also have a list of priorities:
1: being thin and alive
2: being dead
3-4099: ???
5000: being a pathetic fucking fatass
Is this humor? Is it a howl from my id? I don't know. All I know is that I got out of the shower, took my vitamins, and thought: "well, binging will make you fat, but punching and cutting yourself won't." Tag as rant/rave, please.
[Discussion] what is your skincare routine like?
/u/kittencow
Created: Sat Jul 22 08:50:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovcx1/what_is_your_skincare_routine_like/
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ed and skincare do not go well together. how do you manage your ed-induced skincare issues? my skin is so dry from restricting :(
i do the oil cleansing method with mineral oil and a gentle cleanser, snail gel after that, then cerave cream in the tub if it's day, cerave pm if it's night with cerave sa cream after that, sometimes i'll put on vaseline after that too at night, and i'm STILL dry. i only wash my face once a day and i take a b complex vitamin too :(
[Discussion] What is your lowest adult weight and what did it take to get to that?
/u/PetraQuill
Created: Sat Jul 22 08:43:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovbjz/what_is_your_lowest_adult_weight_and_what_did_it/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovbjz/what_is_your_lowest_adult_weight_and_what_did_it/
[Intro] Ten years later and I'm back....
/u/swimwhenithurts
Created: Sat Jul 22 08:40:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ovb04/ten_years_later_and_im_back/
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Earlier this week I had a mental breakdown and determined that I couldn't eat anymore. The breakdown wasn't even food related, but for whatever reason this is how I've decided to cope. I'm under the care of a counselor and a psychiatrist and I'm prescribed stimulants that curb my appetite. My BMI >30, so the psychiatrist isn't worried about my weight loss. My counselor checks my food log every now and then, but I was doing okay, until this week.
Every time I put food into my mouth and start chewing, I want to gag. Nothing taste the same. Even the 4 spoonfuls of Halo Top I had last night were hard to choke down. I've been drinking more alcohol, which generally leads to a binge and then the next morning I use laxatives to "get it out".
It's better than death, for now.
[Other] The Morning Lineup
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 08:02:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ov4ht/the_morning_lineup/
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https://i.redd.it/7su0p1smh5bz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] feeling more and more like my ED is just based around a total inability to be kind to myself
/u/pleasureheads [5'3 | 89 | 15.8 | gw: 75 | nonbinary]
Created: Sat Jul 22 07:43:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ov1an/feeling_more_and_more_like_my_ed_is_just_based/
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and every time i've thought it was anything else i was kidding myself. i went to stay with my partner for a few days because i was doing very badly, actively suicidal, and it was really lovely to be with them and they're so understanding of everything i'm struggling with and i was actually just... ok, while i was there. we went to a bar, i was around some of their friends, i didn't freak out about being looked at, i ate with them every day i was there and even had two meals in public - one totally on my own! of my own volition! and i felt normal. and then i came home and within something like 4-5 hours i binged and purged at length.
it was like... i think i felt like the time of "being good to myself" was done, or i just forgot how to even do it without someone holding my hand through the process, and now i had to remind myself who i actually was or something like that. there was no trigger for it, i just did it, and i felt so out of control with it it really scared me. i'm sorry this is such a depressing little rant - the weird thing is i think i feel fine otherwise, i'm just so specifically sad and frustrated about for once feeling as though i'm really seeing the truth of this thing and it's like, it's not about any achievable goal, it never was, i'm just hurting myself. i'm just using it to keep myself hopeless and isolated. it feels like when i was being abused and i had moments of clarity about the people doing it to me, and now i'm having one of those moments about the part of me abusing myself, and this one might feel even worse - it makes me feel like there's a very dark thing inside of me, something that will never go away on its own, and that only makes me want to hurt myself more.
where am i going with any of this?
[Rant/Rave] everything is sorting itself out once again and i'm happy
/u/Lady_Anarchy [169cm | CW: 54kg | GW: 52kg | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 07:23:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ouyef/everything_is_sorting_itself_out_once_again_and/
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since the start of my summer holidays, everything has been going really well for me (in life in general), and especially weight-wise.
sure, it's taking a toll on my health, cause my current diet consists of amphetamine-induced starvation and walking 25km per day out of boredom. sure, drug binges in festivals and lack of money for food aren't the safest way of going about these things.
BUT. I really am quite happy for once, to see my weight descrease at a constant weight. and since it's summer, it couldn't be more in place.
so, just wanted to celebrate that on here :)
[Other] songs related to your ED?
/u/svppin
Created: Sat Jul 22 06:47:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ousxp/songs_related_to_your_ed/
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anyone else have songs that aren't specifically related to eating disorders but that you associate w your ED? for me it's malibu by hole
[Rant/Rave] I just need to rant about my MIL
/u/milky_toast [🍄 5'1" | 108.0 | 21.31 | -76 | F 🌸]
Created: Sat Jul 22 06:27:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ouqao/i_just_need_to_rant_about_my_mil/
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THIS BITCH
(Im sorry this happened weeks ago and I'm still pissy bout it)
Okay so she straight up asked me, in front of the entire family, if i had an eating disorder. And while i sputtered and tried to laugh it off she continued on to call me 'disgustingly skinny'
Like what the actual fuck. Im actually at a healthy weight. I had my son OVER A YEAR AGO. I am at a healthy weight.
Just because you are still carrying around 'baby weight' 26 years later does not mean I'm disgustingly skinny. Gtfoh.
Like, I'm from the deep south. Women do not act like this. You quietly ask them, or you go talk shit when they aren't around. You don't cause a goddamn scene. Shes from Texas?? Like where are your manners????
(I was actually thrilled she called me skinny but still)
Tl;dr my MIL called me disgustingly skinny and my polite southern ass was appalled
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! July 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 22 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ouo46/stupid_questions_saturday_july_22_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for July 22, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 22 06:10:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ouo0v/daily_food_diary_july_22_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 22, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Anyone else keep a bunch of food around for no reason?
/u/kindawkwardtree
Created: Sat Jul 22 04:45:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oudoo/anyone_else_keep_a_bunch_of_food_around_for_no/
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I have a lot of food in my room that I never eat. It's not exposed or moldy or anything, it's mostly chips and cookies and things like that. I guess I keep it around to show myself that I have control??? I don't know. I'm just wondering if anyone else does things like this?
[Discussion] Calorie track Apps
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 105 | 17.04|26 F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 04:06:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ou9bc/calorie_track_apps/
---
Hi there!
I began using myFitnessPal. Then switch to Cronometer, that I still use in my computer, as is super detailed in macros and micros. But as this app cost for iPhone I use Lifesum. I like it cos the app looks cute and you can scan the food codes, plus you can put goals and low cal recipes.
But some friends use myFitnessPal, seems that of course they changed since I use it 6 years ago.
Which app or method you use to keep track?
[Other] Friend has other plans - dunno whether to starve or binge or SH (rant)
/u/lampshade59
Created: Sat Jul 22 03:56:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ou86e/friend_has_other_plans_dunno_whether_to_starve_or/
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So my friend who I usually go out with every weekend (unless she finds someone better to) has obviously gone and done just that. I can tell she's got better plans when she kind of ignores me all day and then around 5pm cuts off all contact with me.
Anyway I've had around 550 calorie. It's a Saturday night. I'm not sure whether I should just call it a night and lay here sad that I've wasted the weekend, order UberEats as a binge/comfort thing or self harm - but every time I cut I end up getting 50+ stitches so it'll be a big ordeal if I do that.
Sigh. What to do?
[Discussion] Anyone Else Have A Dietary Condition Along With Their ED?
/u/InDaStratosphere7
Created: Sat Jul 22 03:51:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ou7ns/anyone_else_have_a_dietary_condition_along_with/
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On mobile, so can't flair.
So I've got PKU or Phenalkytonuria (hope I spelled it right. I normally just use the initials) along with Bulimia. Because of my condition, I've got to have blood tests every two weeks. And so I can't purge at all on the second week. This really sucks, because I still feel extremely guilty for eating. I've purged on the second week before and the dietitians suspected Bulimia because I wasn't sick with the flu bug or anything. So I was just wondering if anyone else has something like this?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/rave] bludgeoned over and over again
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW140.4 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW115]
Created: Sat Jul 22 03:43:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ou6se/rantrave_bludgeoned_over_and_over_again/
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My phone got stolen a few weeks ago which meant I lost all the old photos of ugw self which I used as motivation. Of course the obvious second choice is to find similar aesthetics in other people.
My SO just found my gallery of what he called 'semi anorexic women' and a humiliating line of question ensued. Humiliating, mainly, because I look like the furthest thing an eating disorder right now. I couldn't tell him because I'm absolutely ashamed of this version of myself and it's the one facet of me which I keep locked and hidden. This sub is my only outlet. Understandably, he said that me not giving a response makes him question whether I'm hiding other things from him.
I'm not hiding anything, I'm an open book about everything but this. I haven't thrown up in almost a month but that milestone is rendered meaningless when you're forced to realise that having a folder full of women's ribcages is not normal behaviour.
I'm so sick of being like this. This disorder mediates my thoughts and actions, it has stolen my self esteem and social life and now it wants to take my relationship too. When will it have had enough. :(
FWB "Let's go up to your room" Me "oh, just let me tidy something" FWB "haha, I've seen all your sex toys tho" Me 🙃
/u/mommadontmakeme [5'4"| 113lbs | 19.97 | -24lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 22 02:20:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otxwq/fwb_lets_go_up_to_your_room_me_oh_just_let_me/
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https://i.redd.it/hxsklc3ks3bz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Well I'll be MIA
/u/ItsAllOnMe92 [6'1" | MTF]
Created: Sat Jul 22 02:19:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otxsi/well_ill_be_mia/
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For the next week and a half.
I had a redout from being barred out broke my phone glasses a window and gashed the palm of my hand and chased after my grandma last night. Today I punched my bedroom door and hit my head on it messed up my knuckles and split my head a bit.
P.S. life fukkin sucks
[Rant/Rave] I think it's working!
/u/Newthrowyaccount [5'2 | CW: 120? | CGW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 22 02:18:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otxs7/i_think_its_working/
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I'm 3 days binge free so far, which is usually about where I get to and then I binge again. So it may be too soon to tell, BUT I stopped myself from over-eating tonight with the daily food entries! I was editing my post, re-calculating the totals, typing out an explanation that I was going to go over because I was just craving food so badly, and then I snapped out of it. I told myself that I could eat tomorrow, it was late, I could go to bed so I wouldn't be tormenting myself with my hunger (here I am at 1 am still daydreaming about food and typing this, not in bed lol), I would feel so much better if I didn't eat this, etc. And it worked! It felt so good to hit "Cancel edit" and delete the entries from MFP. Then I brushed my teeth to seal the deal. Day 3 and I've saved 1955 calories so far. I'm going to make it to a week.
[Rant/Rave] it's so slowwww
/u/mikey-way [2 scared 2 weigh myself wooo]
Created: Sat Jul 22 01:28:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ots84/its_so_slowwww/
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why is weight loss so slow lmao
i have a concert in 8 days and im meeting my favorite band in the world and it's like, cool, im gonna be fat when i meet them?? okay?
i wish there was a way to lose 20 pounds in 8 days. short of cutting off an arm, lmao.
it would help if i actually fasted, too. i'm fairly certain i'm staying under my tdee rn, but since i discovered purging i've been more okay with letting myself eat since "i can just throw it up!" which leads to dumb situations like me throwing up in a public walmart bathroom. nice job me.
this rant is all over the place, sorry bout that. it's 3 am and i just bleached my hair and i think the fumes affected me lmao
but back to the main point... i'm so scared im gonna look fat when i meet the band & in the photo i'll with them. i've been looking forward to this for forever. if only i hadn't binged the last 2 months away. -_-
night everyone!
[Help] Why the hell do I never feel full?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 01:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otr7u/why_the_hell_do_i_never_feel_full/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] id like to take a minute to speak about our Lord and Savior, Diet Coke
/u/tamagotchi-hands [5'3" | CW 131 | GW 110 | peach: fluffybunnypantsx]
Created: Sat Jul 22 01:16:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otqt4/id_like_to_take_a_minute_to_speak_about_our_lord/
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started slowly cutting back my calories this week. finally got until 1,000 today thanks to drinking a bit of diet coke at work. helped me feel full and also satisfied my sugar craving.
what tricks do you use to help keep your calorie count down throughout the day? im hoping be between 600-800 by next week :)
[Rant/Rave] When does it end?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 22 00:49:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otnkm/when_does_it_end/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or help.
According to two different pedometer apps on my phone I've walked 20 miles today and my Google app says I've burned 3200 calories, Samsung health says 2000 calories or so.
It's still not enough and never will be I will always want more. My body is inefficient and doesn't use up what I give it fast enough. So much fat to lose and to my body I only give it coffee and cigarettes.
I also worked 8 hours in the kitchen today at work so maybe more there but still not enough. I'd rather die than continue to be disappointed by myself.
I don't even feel human anymore. I don't care. I am really apathetic about whether I live to see tomorrow or not. I refuse to cave to my humanity I don't need food
I don't need people. I don't need anything
Needs are a sign of weakness and i am not weak nor like any of these others. I'm not above nor bellow I am just not. I feel like a ghost.
Willow.
[Discussion] Anyone else not going to the doctor because of the fear they might weigh you?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 22 00:36:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otlyp/anyone_else_not_going_to_the_doctor_because_of/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Has anyone here maintained a long term relationship where their SO either hasn't found out or you're able to preserve shit around your ed?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Fri Jul 21 23:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otdud/has_anyone_here_maintained_a_long_term/
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We make a lot of jokes here about how awful we are at relationships, but I'm genuinely worried about ruining this one.
[Rant/Rave] Anger
/u/iwillbesmall [5'6" | 119lbs | F25 | GW: 99]
Created: Fri Jul 21 23:33:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otdoi/anger/
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I just threw my scales all over the place until it broke into pieces. I guess I stopped trying. I'm fat again. I'm so jealous. I feel like my bone structure is small. So even 115 lbs I look fat. My ribs dont show until at least 105. At this point I wish my bones were bigger so I didn't look like a absolute whale at the 125 that I am now. I have cellulite. Wtf.....
[Help] Im alone and depressed again
/u/ms_ireneadler2
Created: Fri Jul 21 23:13:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6otaxy/im_alone_and_depressed_again/
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Ive realized over the past few weeks how alone I am. My best friend moved away a few weeks ago and even months before, we didnt see each other much. I used to be close to my brother but lately, hes been too busy.
I feel like Im drifting away from everyone. I feel completely alone and like my life is headed nowhere. Also, my depression is coming back, which is just making everything worse. On top of all that, Ive also been eating way too much the past few days. Which is so great.
Losing friends, scale is going up, and my life is pointless. I feel so out of control and I dont even know what to do anymore. It feels like Im taking up space.. Absolutely pointless. No one seems to care and I just wish I could disappear.
[Rant/Rave] Wish me luck, fuck this weekend
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Fri Jul 21 22:55:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ot88c/wish_me_luck_fuck_this_weekend/
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I'm at the beach with my boyfriend and all his friends I'm drunk as fuck as I write this
I protested going on this trip so much and used every excuse I had to try to get out of it but at the end I couldn't
I'm so scared. So much alcohol and the guys brought LAUNDRY baskets full of potato chips, marshmallows, candy and other HORRIFYING drunk food
I'm so so so so scared. I've lost so much weight last week but I know when I get back on Monday I'll be heavier.
I want to cry, I love hanging out with these people but I wish I wasn't here and no one other than you guys would understand how I feel.
How the hell do I get through this weekend without eating & drinking thousands of calories?
Side note I'm really drunk and almost told my bf about my eating/body issues (-: oh no.
[Rant/Rave] Isolated
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 22:35:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ot5ag/isolated/
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Hey guys. I'm starting to feel super super lonely and isolated, because I'm hardly talking to anyone because I feel misunderstood, and the one person who did understand unintentionally made me feel really shitty about myself because his ED was/is worse. He was just trying to relate to me but it just made me feel bad.
All I do these days is stare at thinspo and all this junk and I'm so wrapped up in it and not doing anything else. I'm severely depressed right now after my breakup so I don't want to work on art or singing like I'm supposed to be doing. I need more people who understand but also to distract me from this shit.
[Rant/Rave] Down 5 lbs!
/u/leezyleezy [5'5 | CW: 124 | BMI: 20.6 | GW: 105 | -25 lbs | 16F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 22:34:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ot52q/down_5_lbs/
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I weighed myself yesterday, and I am 119 lbs! This puts my BMI just below 20! I am so proud, even though I ate around 1200 calories total today with a mini binge tonight. I feel awesome since my dad bought me a very nice present today as a gift, and I still didn't go over maintenance. Even though today isn't a good weight loss step stone, tomorrow is a new day. 15 lbs to go and I am ready for restricting tomorrow. This is why we do this, feels good to be reminded.
[Rant/Rave] life is good
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 122 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 22:12:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ot1qb/life_is_good/
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SO I posted yesterday about heavy unplanned meals and how I was forcing myself to keep it together and let myself enjoy the food and how I was worried about weighing in today.
the dinner was delicious and I even had a few bites of cake which may have kicked me out of keto but I let it go and didn't let it become a binge or anything.
cue weigh in today...
51 KG! that's 112 lb. lowest weight of my adult life. I want to cry, guys. BMI 17.6!!!
now I've got a few days to spend at home with my mum and friends before returning for another internship next week, and I'm going to be able to enjoy them like a normal person (hah, not really but optimism).
hope you're all having a great saturday!
[Help] Text conversation between my friend and I. Need advice.
/u/082616
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:58:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osznb/text_conversation_between_my_friend_and_i_need/
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I'm going to get right into it.
Me: Ugh. Jamahl was talking shit about how I just ate my protein bar and some sliced apple for break and my mind took it negatively. Great.. Fuck!
Him: Stop giving a shit what people say about what you eat! Eat what you want and enjoy it!!
Me: Thank you.
Him: Home. Getting ready to eat..... Maybe a protein bar and some apple slices. Lol :)
Him: Actually might be a protein bar and some peanuts. Don't feel like cooking.
Me: Not really funny though for me.
Him: Really? You are still upset over what he said?
Him: Didn't mean to upset you or piss you off. Was just being me.
I took my melatonin so apologies for being a mess now. Before was just word for word. I'm upset. Hurt. I can either tell him why it hurt me so much (dealing with an ED and ED thoughts, just had tea and some pudding for dinner when before at work I wrote a grocery list for today/night) or do what I might actually do and stop the relationship now before he gets too involved.
What I might even say back is.. "Well. I guess I don't like you then." or something like that. Maybe not as harsh. Idk. Damnit. I like(d) him but my ED it's like, "Yeah, we don't need him anymore. He'll just get in the way." which is so true.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Former rhythmic gymnast, really hoping I can make it through my last year of college without killing myself
/u/catoutofthebox
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:58:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oszm6/rantrave_former_rhythmic_gymnast_really_hoping_i/
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Throwaway.
I've been living with OCD plus severe anxiety in general and obsessing with my weight since I was about 12 years old. Did rhythmic gymnastics until high school and then gained about 45 pounds when I quit. In the past three years, I've overall lost about 20 pounds. Now I'm around 126 pounds, bit more than 5'4" tall.
But now I'm entering my final year of college and can barely stand it. I probably weigh myself about 10-12 times a day and do all these weird things to keep track of my body's progress. I punish myself for sitting on my butt and lie on my belly instead to prevent panic attacks. Plus I obsessively record the number of pages I read, which takes the joy out of reading. My OCD's been untreated for way too long and I just had a panic attack today worrying about how shitty of a student I've been, especially in the past year.
I go between hating how heavy I feel right now and hating how much I've failed to follow my dreams. My professor's been emailing me about a project I'm supposed to be working on. The stress of trying to rebuild my sense of worth is killing me. I've gradually felt better about myself over the past 10 or so months, but sometimes there are low points and panic attacks like the one that started during work today and it just sucks.
About a year ago, I ended a supportive and stable long-term relationship—one where we exercised together, meditated together, learned about the world together, and at least were making some improvements—because I thought ending it would make my life better: I wanted to stop being a hermit on my college campus and get more involved, to be more *in the moment*. I wanted to return to my gymnastics-era weight and enjoy dating and having lots of sex and stuff. I wanted to explore and feel strong human passion again. Also, I wanted to start better treating my OCD so that I could once again enjoy reading and learning.
Huge discovery: turns out I hate my college campus, despite trying to like it. I let myself get the most depressed I've been since middle school and slacked off more than ever. I fell below my own standards for how I should treat myself and others. My OCD got even worse. Changed my major to a slightly easier (though more interesting) one in terms of workload.
Still dealing with another student (former best friend, actually) who emotionally abused me, tries to meddle with my life, and who I suspect hacked into my computer last month to fuck with a few of my accounts (he has the skills necessary, even with my using a reasonable amount of security measures). On my behalf, a bunch a extremely rude messages were sent to my sisters and professors and they temporarily thought it was me, which sucked.
It'll probably be a year before I can really rebuild my social life. And I feel like I have no one to talk to about that, along with the rest of this shit. The people I thought might understand show barely any understanding, and those who do show empathy are people I barely know, and I've failed to nurture the good high school friendships I had. Generally speaking, the students at my college are manipulative, overly selfish, and surprisingly lacking in how much they try—at least *try*—to critically think.
It's nice now because it's summer and I live in the college's town. The people in this town are lovely. Most students are gone, so on campus there's peace. But it's only about a month before the semester begins, and while most days I try to stay strong... sometimes I get panic attacks and wonder if I'll make it out of this place alive. I barely ate for a month and started to lose weight again, which felt good until I realized how out of shape I was becoming, how much flexibility I was losing—and on a physical level being flexible means a lot to me. (Gymnastics will forever be an integral part of who I am; I dance now, but it's just gymnastics in disguise.)
I've always been ambitious with lots of passions and whatnot. But I've disappointed myself and it sucks. Trying to rebuild the confidence I once had every day, but I also don't have the support that I used to have, and it's incredibly difficult. I've become so selfish, too. Plus drinking lots of coffee no longer makes me feel better; now I just feel tired and heavy and anxious all the time. This sucks. There's hope, but it's unstable.
I want to be that gymnast I once knew, I really do; she enjoyed learning and loving and toiling and interacting... but I'm still trying to find where the fuck she went. Maybe regaining my flexibility and being 112 pounds again will help to some degree.
Also, sorry about any redundancies. Repeated thoughts inundate my mind.
[Discussion] Are there any other tall girls here? How do you cope with the fact that you will never be small?
/u/emotionalthr0w [5'9 22F. SW: 182. CW: 161 BMI: 23.35.]
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:57:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oszh9/are_there_any_other_tall_girls_here_how_do_you/
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hey guys- i've been lurking for a while but this is my first post. this is my most successful attempt at weight loss so far but sometimes it still feels so pointless. i see my female friends whose bodies look like mine but who are shorter than i am and they just look *better* than i do, even if they may technically be more overweight. and i am down 20 lbs but i still feel like my body is no different. i feel like even when i lose the next 30 i will still just be overall large. other tall girls- how do you cope with this?
[Other] Lmao at that episode of parks and rec
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:57:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oszej/lmao_at_that_episode_of_parks_and_rec/
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I binged last night and find it hilarious to watch Leslie dip her finger in the tub of sugar and go "wow this is amazing what did you put in this sugar" Lmao. Story. Of. My. Life.
[Discussion] Anyone have answers???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:30:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osva1/anyone_have_answers/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] MIL bought me a size 12 top
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:28:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osv0e/mil_bought_me_a_size_12_top/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] "Healthy Snacks!!" BS videos on YouTube rant
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:25:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osulh/healthy_snacks_bs_videos_on_youtube_rant/
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It seriously pisses me off when I see "health gurus" or whatever on YouTube making videos on healthy snacks/meals/substitutions. In principle, this is a great idea, like sure educate people on what to eat and what's healthy, etc. But these idiots are like "Mix half a pound of organic chocolate with half a pound of nuts and another half a pound of dried fruit! Soooo yummy and so good for you because vitamins and stuff!" Like they genuinely think that thousands of calories of nuts, or something organic, or dried fruit, or unprocessed peanut butter, or whatever the hell else is healthy and is a better option than 50 calories of raw veggies without dressing or any bullshit.
[Rant/Rave] so i think i have my roommate fooled
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:15:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ost1r/so_i_think_i_have_my_roommate_fooled/
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I bought a tiny stationary bike that takes up hardly any room in my small room & is quiet! here's to working out from now on when I can't sleep. hopefully I reach my goal weight soon
[Help] ED Friendly calorie counter?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 21:04:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osrbg/ed_friendly_calorie_counter/
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[deleted]
[Help] [Help] Why am I so bloated?
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Fri Jul 21 20:59:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osqeq/help_why_am_i_so_bloated/
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I was good today, and I ate completely clean even though there was plenty of temptation. Only 817 calories. And yet, I had 5 liters of water today, and I feel like I look massive. Any bloat cures? Or am I just doing something wrong?
[Discussion] What music have you been jamming to recently?
/u/dietchardonnay
Created: Fri Jul 21 20:58:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osqag/what_music_have_you_been_jamming_to_recently/
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I LOVE intensely emotional music and literally all genres, and would love to know what music satiates your ears.
[Rant/Rave] I want recovery but I also want control
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 20:41:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osnjn/i_want_recovery_but_i_also_want_control/
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I hate this. I've sunk back into restrictive patterns, more so than just "skimming" my meal plan and tonight I purged a perfectly normal and safe dinner.
What the fuck?!? I even lie to my team because I'm already a disappointment to them which sucks because I feel like they assume I'm lying or hiding a lot. My day was fine, but when I'm tired all day, have a normal meal then can't let myself catch up on sleep I'm fucking annoyed. I hate everything, especially myself right now.
What state/ country are you from?
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Fri Jul 21 20:28:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oslcw/what_state_country_are_you_from/
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I thought it would be cool to see where everyone was from. I'm from the US Massachusetts
[Rant/Rave] SO PISSED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 20:20:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6osk2x/so_pissed/
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I've been having sleep issues (self-inflicted and as the result of restriction) so I decided to try some zzzquil. I bought the liquid kind since it was the cheapest, it worked great, all is well.
Or not. When I took it I assumed it had like 20 calories from the flavorings and alcohol, and decided not to bother counting it. I overestimate my food so much it would cover it no problem. Today I got curious and looked to see if there was an entry for it in MFP, and it apparently has NEARLY 100 calories in a tiny 30ml (~2 tablespoons) dose. I feel violated.
And that's how I ended up at walmart at 10pm in my pajamas looking for the pill version after ogling the bagel section.
[Rant/Rave] Stopped a binge today!
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Fri Jul 21 19:21:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6os9z1/stopped_a_binge_today/
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Ran seven miles(training for a half marathon) and ate all that I planned but still wanted... more. For some reason. Even though cardio kills my appetite and seriously I was satisfied. So I ate like a couple bites of this and that and started thinking "oh fuck it" and then suddenly... just stopped. Realized I was full and I was goods. Remembered that I'm not allowed to purge out my food anymore.
So while I'm sad I'm not at the amazing deficit I was at, I'm still really proud of myself for staying at any deficit and stopping a binge! I partially think it's the Lexapro I've been on, like binging just is becoming less and less of a thing maybe now that's it's finally starting to work?
Either way, I'm okay. I'm good. I didn't fuck it all up.
[Rant/Rave] so we're vaguely suicidal now, apparently
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Fri Jul 21 19:07:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6os7j7/so_were_vaguely_suicidal_now_apparently/
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Four-day binge. Too depressed to get off the couch. Sleeping most of the time.
Punching myself in the throat a lot. Thinking casually about suicide. Having graphic visions of opening my throat with one of the razors I keep upstairs.
My buddy keeps casually talking about how she's forgotten to eat anything except eggs. I am tempted to tell her to fuck herself and ask why she pretends to give two shits about a fat disgusting sack of shit like me.
help me.
[Other] Does my BF not notice or does he just not care
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 18:54:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6os57f/does_my_bf_not_notice_or_does_he_just_not_care/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Update: My husband supports me.
/u/ativan4u
Created: Fri Jul 21 18:48:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6os453/update_my_husband_supports_me/
---
First of all, thank you all for your comments and support. It can be kind of isolating dealing with something like this and not really having anyone to talk to so I can't tell you how much I value everyone's response.
Here's the link in case you missed it:
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odm2v/my_husband_supports_me/?st=J5EJYBEQ&sh=84d70393
Just to give some background:
My husband and I have been married for 10 years and actually have a pretty good relationship. We were avid runners when we first met, but both have put on some weight as we've aged. I think his support comes from a good place but he doesn't know just how much much it all affects me. My last post came at a moment of weakness after binging in front of him and him telling me, "You'll never reach your goal eating like that. I thought you wanted to lose weight." *ugh the shame* Then yesterday he proposed that we both go on a 2 day fast after speaking positively about my week long ones I would do in college. He says we should make it a game to see who can lose 15lbs first. Woohoo! Kind of!
So yeah... it's awesome but also really defeating because I AM fat/slow/gross right now. I don't know. I just wish he didn't also see me like that. We agree I was at my best in college when I had my fastest running times (and of course my lowest weight).
The purging question:
We've never really talked openly about me purging but I know he knows. We've been together too long and he never asks questions about bloodshot eyes, bathroom trips, etc. I don't do it too often so he probably just assumes it's my last stitch effort at not overindulging. It's all about achieving your goals! Right!?
My take away:
I'm definitely going to have a talk with him about how all this talk about dieting/fasting/calories is
not helping me right now. I just need him to support me but not actively encourage me.
Again thank you all for your support and kind words!
[Rant/Rave] [rant] fuck you red wine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 18:28:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6os0pr/rant_fuck_you_red_wine/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Jul 21 18:27:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6os0h5/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/zbewjow8g1bz.jpg
[Help] lol they think I have body dysmorphic disorder
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 18:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6orz56/lol_they_think_i_have_body_dysmorphic_disorder/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] When it comes to a binge... when you go all out, do you go all, the fuck, out?
/u/twiggybean [5'1" | 142 | -16 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 17:44:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6orsbq/when_it_comes_to_a_binge_when_you_go_all_out_do/
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I've been trying to get my habits under control, but I keep slipping. But when I have a binge night, I don't just eat a pound of whatever stuff is in my cupboard (I've been trying to hoard, and thus have been neglecting, healthy shit in my cupboards). I'll order in a greasy delicious cheeseburger and add a poutine swimming in gravy on the side (I'm Canadian) and wash it all down with lots of booze. Then I'm pissed at myself for days afterward, both for the depressing caloric and monetary expense. Anyone else do this?
[Help] Intro and help: study focus? and guilt with eating
/u/sqvxNZ
Created: Fri Jul 21 17:42:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6orrrg/intro_and_help_study_focus_and_guilt_with_eating/
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Hi all,
I'm pretty sure this abides by the rules but if not then I will delete it.
I'm studying at uni and have struggled with disordered eating since I was 15 in 2012/2013 (haven't been diagnosed even though I have seen doctors and therapists for it).
First, I (like many of us) feel better about myself when I don't eat that much. I tend to eat as little as possible and might have something like a bowl of oatmeal later on in the day if I start to get hungry because I'm not fully fasting. I start to get this immense feeling of guilt when I do have this bowl of oatmeal though. Does anyone experience this? Like, not eating at all, only some low/0-calorie drinks to get through the day then a little bit of food but feel really guilty for eating anything? How do you deal with it?
Also, the main question I have is how people focus when they aren't eating much food. I find it hard to actually do my study work when I haven't eaten much. But I don't want to eat more. I've thought about Adderall and Ritalin but don't really want to go down that path, plus I don't know where to find it haha.
Any advice??
TL;DR: Feeling guilty when I finally eat something. Can't focus on studying because I haven't eaten much. Help?
[Other] When your coworkers saw you buy junk food the day before and ask where you put it all...
/u/amwub
Created: Fri Jul 21 17:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6orpx9/when_your_coworkers_saw_you_buy_junk_food_the_day/
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Down the toilet lol potty humor
[Rant/Rave] Coworker's comment
/u/bonedust_pale [5'1"|GW 95|-60.4.8|F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 17:20:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ornj0/coworkers_comment/
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He said: you know the hottest supermodels... If most guys found out they got that way being anorexic, they wouldn't like them. But if they found out they got that way doing pull ups they'd be like dayuum.
Okay....? Why are you telling me??
What do I even say to that?
[Other] Who else punishes themselves for eating?
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | GW: 120 | UGW: 90 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 16:51:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6orhpj/who_else_punishes_themselves_for_eating/
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Hahahaha. Everytime I feel like I ate too much I'll start punishing myself either by rigorous exercise or by punching and hitting myself until I bruise or bleed. I don't want to start cutting or burning myself again but I'm so tempted to because I feel I shouldn't be eating and that I need to punish myself HARD for doing so. I'm so overweight and gross and disgusting. Logically I know that I need to eat so that I can breathe, so that my heart can beat, so that my muscles can contract, so that my cells have the energy they need to keep me alive. But also? I don't deserve to eat, my body can live off my disgusting fat. I want to die.
[Rant/Rave] I'm exhausted
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 16:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6orf39/im_exhausted/
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I have been over exerting myself and have been keeping myself so busy and out of the house so that I wouldn't binge on anything at all. I am turning into this really obsessive person and I can't stop. I am honestly happy that I am back in control but I'm so scared of what I am legitimately doing to myself and my future on the long run. I know I am slowly killing my body by going back to this pattern but knowing myself I will probably kill myself anyway if I go out of control because of the deep hatred I have for myself. Oh well.
[Rant/Rave] fucking peanut butter
/u/kittencow
Created: Fri Jul 21 16:21:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6orbbl/fucking_peanut_butter/
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she bought me an entire fucking new jar after i binge ate a whole one last week, because.. 'you like that right?'
i am so angry at her which makes me feel scummy bc she was just trying to buy me something she thought i'd like in a Neverending bid to get me to eat
please give me the strength not to eat any i can't do moderation
[Discussion] Worst binge you've ever had?
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:126lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 16:15:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ora0r/worst_binge_youve_ever_had/
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I've had a lot of binges in my day, but the worst in recent memory went something like this:
-A 12 inch Chicago style deep dish pizza
-A pack of Oreos w/ milk
-2 frozen burritos
-A bag of sour cream and onion rice cakes
-Two jelly filled donuts
-Half a box of cinnamon toast crunch
-4 crab cakes
I was so stuffed that, even after purging as much as I could, I still couldn't eat anything substantial for almost an entire day. It was genuinely the worst I ever felt after binging in my entire life. I have no idea how many calories I ate that night.
There was also that time I ordered pizza from three different places in one day and proceeded to eat all of it.
[Rant/Rave] i love/hate having family around
/u/7376549
Created: Fri Jul 21 16:02:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6or76h/i_lovehate_having_family_around/
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okay i'm sure this has been said a hundred million times already so i'm soooo sorry for being repetitive lol but omg
i love spending time with my family but holy shit does it make restricting a pain in the assssss
at weekends my ma likes to have lunch AND dinner together cus she knows i "used to" (lol) have an ED so she likes to... make sure i'm eating healthy i guess
usually it's not so bad cus i just restrict a bit extra on days when she's not around but these last couple of days i've been sooooo bad
e.g. usually the crackers we have in the house aren't vegan which is great for me cus it means i won't binge on them but this time for some reason we got a different brand which are vegan & i ate so. fucking. many
and bread too... so much bread 🤢
and i feel so gross all i want is a few days to do some heavier restricting til i feel less like a fucking fat squishy mess but i'm gonna essentially be watched all weekend & god it's killing me
anyway.. lmao sorry for this rambling trip to nowhere of a post i just needed to vent i guess :/ wish me luck that i don't gain a tonne over the weekend.. 😭🙏
[Tip] *UPDATED* Cal Tracker with BMR
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 15:56:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6or5u6/updated_cal_tracker_with_bmr/
---
Ok guys--first BIG BIG THANKS to @ThisAsUs for helping me execute this sheet. AMAZING AMAZING.
Here's what the new sheet can do:
* Calculate your BMR
* Calculate your projected loss over user specified time period (based on weight, intake, bmr and projected expenditures/exercise)
* Log your Calories by meal, plus exercise and give your your net cals (including bmr)
* Give your projected weight in 7, 14, 30 days if you maintain current net cals
**NEW**
* Created a Google form you can save on your phone to input your intake and expenditures, this AUTOMATICALLY updates your google sheet.
* Submit your cals as you go by choosing to edit your previous form submission
* There is a hidden sheet you can unhide if you want to proceed with manual entries
**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE** READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS before starting on the sheet. You **must** save a copy of the sheet for yourself to edit.
Do not download as an Excel sheet as that kills the form functionality.
If you have questions, spot mistakes or want to request another feature, please message me.
Note: the BMR calculator is based on the Mifflin St. Jeor 1990 formula, a revised version of the original Harris-Benedict equation.
Without further adeiu, here's the link:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SBdtvCjDoJrcST9PthLUWYMBUGxkMItbZI0GoqRwW30/edit?usp=sharing
Please leave a comment if you're using this so the post gets pushed up and people can see it :D
[Help] my body is making me suicidal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 15:47:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6or3xp/my_body_is_making_me_suicidal/
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[deleted]
[Other] Peach 🍑
/u/commeunecho [168cm | CW116 | 18.7 | -24 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 14:25:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oqlcf/peach/
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I just got this and i really love reading everyone's posts ❤️
Mods can delete this if there was a peach username thread recently that I missed.
im commeunecho! follow me if you don't mind foul language and brazen disregard 4 grammar 💖
[Thinspo] [Help] looking for a specific type of thinspo
/u/ASAPfeline [5'5" | binge cycle :( | 20F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 14:13:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oqin0/help_looking_for_a_specific_type_of_thinspo/
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Does anybody have any thinspo of people who don't exercise? I've gotten to 18.5 through exercise before but I didn't like how my muscles looked and I think in the long run, exercise makes me binge-y and makes my thyroid type issues worse like amenorrhea and hair loss. Just wrapping up a binge cycle (I hope) and thinking of getting back on my bullshit by just restricting as much as possible and not caring about protein. Also limiting my exercise to walking and yoga
[Other] I think I have a cardio addiction
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Fri Jul 21 13:45:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oqbye/i_think_i_have_a_cardio_addiction/
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I do the stationary bike for 2 hrs a day & sometimes walk 3-6 miles.
[Rant/Rave] The shittiest thing just happened to me
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Fri Jul 21 13:41:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oqayj/the_shittiest_thing_just_happened_to_me/
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So my coworker just bought me a cupcake out of nowhere. She then waited eagerly for me to take a bite, so I did, and she watched as I ate half the cupcake. It was a vanilla buttercream cupcake and it legit tasted like someone put cold butter on top of box cake. Thank god she left me alone once she realized I was actually doing work. I put the cupcake down and later took it to the bathroom and flushed it. What's worse is that last night I had a mini bings and went like 250 cals over my goal and I was gonna restrict today (and I was doing good) and she legit fucked it all up.
I can't even correctly log the cupcake because I don't know exactly how much I had or where it's from.
Her reasoning for buying me it was "if I'm getting fat, you are too! Lol!" And I was like "um ??"
Like legit stay out of my business, don't worry about what I eat.
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Officially Anorexic™
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Fri Jul 21 13:15:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oq563/rantrave_officially_anorexic/
---
i just checked the diagnostic criteria for anorexia nervosa and i now have moderate Actual Anorexia™ according to my weight/bmi (98lbs/16.3)
like i don't have an official diagnosis because i refuse to bring it up to a doctor (i'm terrified that they'll force me into treatment) but if i were to bring it up, i'd basically get an immediate diagnosis.
why does this feel like an accomplishment
[Rant/Rave] If I could just stay isolated I'd be at my goal weight in no time [Rant]
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [5'8 | CW:122 | 18.4 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 13:14:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oq506/if_i_could_just_stay_isolated_id_be_at_my_goal/
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When I spend the day alone I can go pretty much effortlessly go all day without eating much, staying to the guidelines and plan I set in the morning.
But I can't. Because being alone too much makes me a paranoid hypochondriac mess. And it makes me angry at the world for having a good time and leaving me isolated and self loathing for not being able to get along with people properly.
So after a day or two of isolation and discipline, I have to break and go out with my roommates or random dudes fomr Tinder and whenever that happens I end up drinking an ass load of beer and eating whatever they eat (which is usually junk food and excessive junk food) because whenver I'm around other people I find it impossible to say no. I don't even want to say no in those moments, and I want to look like I'm eating normally to them.
I think this flip flop is the main reason I've never made it down to being properly underweight.
[Rant/Rave] I had to go out with family and fucked up. How bad did I sabotage myself?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 12:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opu0e/i_had_to_go_out_with_family_and_fucked_up_how_bad/
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I lost 5 pounds since last Monday, but idk if it is actual weight, something else, or if the scale is lying to me because I feel like I look the same. Today, I lost control and ate around 2800-3000 cal because I suck ass. I'm too afraid to weigh in tomorrow morning and see those 5 pounds back. I'm just so mad at myself because now I can't eat for the next 3-4 days and eating is legit the best part of my day :(
[Discussion] Lean muscle mass
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Fri Jul 21 12:18:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oprg8/lean_muscle_mass/
---
I got my body fat calculated (while I was in Ireland so I don't know exactly what they did) but there was a scan done, not calipers. I have 112 lbs. of lean muscle mass on a 5'4" frame. Weight lifting, sports, kick boxing, etc. did that I guess. I have EDNOS and go through long cycles of restricting, then long cycles of binging so I'm anywhere from 130 to 170 in a given year, fml. Ideally I'd like off this train but I've been trying for recover for 2 years now and...yeah, here I am.
What does that mean for my goal of 115lbs? I am going to have to lose muscle, too, I guess, which is annoying because eventually I'll have to find new sports.
Anyone athletic been in a similar situation?
[Humor] Made a drunk "cooking" video on my friends YouTube channel and was definitely worried about being on camera but actually felt decent about my body??? so I guess here's to trying to gain some confidence today?! (i'm the one in the pink) hope you beautiful humans enjoy the video!
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 12:16:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opr1t/made_a_drunk_cooking_video_on_my_friends_youtube/
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https://youtu.be/haceIxesKlk
[Discussion] TMI: constipation and weight loss
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 12:13:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opq8w/tmi_constipation_and_weight_loss/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Prep for A Night Out?
/u/dankdesty [5'10|CW 117|GW 110|UGW 105|F| -3lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 21 12:05:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opo8q/prep_for_a_night_out/
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SO its been a whillllllle since ive gone out drinking with friends, and I dont just drink occsasionally.. Ive allways had a low tolerance, & can sometimes get sick.. Anywayyys so Ive been restricting for about a solid two months now, & tonight is my co workers birthday party, & I am planning on getting a bit schwastedd.. cause wtf not? its summer & my restriction has been soo good! Anyways im probably gonna stick to drinking what we call a bitch beer, like twisted teas or a cider.. & we made lotts of jello shots, so ill be having some vodka, & a looot of sugar,, I know sugar leads to hangovers, so WHAT FOODS SHOULD I EAT for the rest of the day to help my stomach handle it.. Im not worried about getting drunk too fast,, Just avoiding an upset stomach// getting sick..
TLDR: after restricting for a while im gonna be drinking, what foods should I eat for the rest of the day to keep my from not being sick?
[Discussion] DAE here NOT drink coffee/tea/energy drinks/soda?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 11:57:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opmf4/dae_here_not_drink_coffeeteaenergy_drinkssoda/
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[deleted]
[Other] I always forget I have a problem
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Fri Jul 21 11:44:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opj5x/i_always_forget_i_have_a_problem/
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Like in the kitchen rn we have these hostess mini pie things. So I'm thinking to myself maybe I can have just one, but no I actually can't because I really don't think I'll be able to stop at just 1.
I'm just so glad that I kinda took a second to think before doing anything because if I binge today I am absolutely not purging because my throat is completely fried from purging yesterday and all the time and I'm trying to stay hydrated today
Sometimes I'll think to myself "I haven't eaten anything today, so it will be okay to have just 1 *-insert high carb food here-*"
So I eat without remembering that it will most likely spark a binge, and within 5 or 10 minutes I'm eating EVERYTHING.
[Rant/Rave] I have no control over anything in my life and it's driving me insane. I need help.
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 11:44:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opj56/i_have_no_control_over_anything_in_my_life_and/
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I'm 16, so I can't just leave home. Every single aspect of my life is controlled by my mom. I have to eat six times a day, or else I go to residential. I'm not allowed to be left alone. I'm not allowed to go on walks. I'm not allowed to choose what I eat. I'm not allowed to exercise more than 30 minutes a day. It's driving me absolutely fucking crazy. Fuck this. Fuck recovery.
For the past two days, I've been able to get in an extra 30-40 minutes of cardio, but I still have to eat everything all the time and it's way too much food. I wish I had never told my mom about my eating disorder. I used to be able to get away with literally not eating. Now I don't get a choice, I *have* to eat.
This lack of control is making me legitimately suicidal. I want to get away from my family so I can restrict and they won't worry. I feel trapped. What can I do? Is there anything I can do to get out of this?
[Help] Tips to make inner thighs look smaller?
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Fri Jul 21 11:44:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opj3q/tips_to_make_inner_thighs_look_smaller/
---
I know fat loss is an overall, not targeted, and I'm working on that. But even at my low weight, I feel like there is always fat sitting on my inner thighs and makes me feel like a whale. Tips to make this area look slimmer?
[Rant/Rave] I feel amazing!
/u/trop_mince [5'8" | CW: 129.4 | 19.46 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 11:26:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6opesb/i_feel_amazing/
---
I guess this belongs under rave?
I just worked out for an hour for the first time in over a year. I sweat so much, released so many endorphins, and I just feel so great.
I’ve never been a compulsive exerciser but after being on exercise restriction during treatment and after this makes me feel... not guilty. Like I’m worthy of the ~800-1000cal I’ll eat today.
I also feel wonderful because my boyfriend suggested Taco Bell for dinner, and I suggested Chick-fil-a instead so I can get grilled nuggets with fruit and not chips laden with cheese and beef. He said that sounded great!! I’m so happy.
😊
[Help] too much caffeine, help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 10:57:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6op806/too_much_caffeine_help/
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[deleted]
[Goal] I'm going to overeaters anon tmrw.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Fri Jul 21 10:48:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6op5vt/im_going_to_overeaters_anon_tmrw/
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I'm scared. But I seriously binged on over 7000 calories worth of food last night. I feel fat and pathetic and I'm undoing all my hard work. I wish I could just get drunk and set fire to my kitchen and hug my kiddo and bf and pet a kitty.😢 my therapist gave me a metaphorical white chip for today being a new day. It's really hard not to hurt myself right now, but I have to keep myself from falling into that really shitty anxious bingey hole in my soul.
[Help] I had too much caffeine this morning, how do I cope?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 21 10:38:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6op3gc/i_had_too_much_caffeine_this_morning_how_do_i_cope/
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[deleted]
[Tip] First time drinking ACV
/u/Minionhunter [5'6" | CW:172 | UGW:130 | F27]
Created: Fri Jul 21 10:30:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6op1ld/first_time_drinking_acv/
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This morning I had my first shot of apple cider vinegar. I've been feeling the need to detox over the past few weeks and I've stopped drinking. I usually drink lemon water with my fiber and biosil in the mornings (Lemon water = good for kidneys/liver. Biosil = great for joint issues).
So I added 2tbps to my standard concoction and I have been unstoppable since. This was about 3 hours ago and so far my joints feel less creaky (ACL replacement last fall, so creaky) my brain feels clearer and my ankles don't look as swollen as normal? Which is another reason I've been detoxing. On top of all of that my appetite is totally missing. Usually by 11:30 I'd be dreaming of devouring something by now but I've only had my coffee and water and I'm totally okay hunger free.
If you guys have never drank ACV I highly suggest trying it on an empty stomach in the AM. But of course use a straw. I have so much energy it's a bit too much.
Hope everyone is having a happy Friday 💛
[Other] ((TMI)) NEVER TRUST A FART WHILE FASTING
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:95bs |]
Created: Fri Jul 21 10:28:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6op145/tmi_never_trust_a_fart_while_fasting/
---
I was wearing white pants too ;; this is my darkest day
[Rant/Rave] First sober post here :/
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 09:45:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ooq6v/first_sober_post_here/
---
I decided to cut vodka. Not because I was drinking too much but because of the calories haha! I've been working so hard at restricting. I do think about food all the time but my cravings are gone. I don't binge. I'm eating 900 calories a day. Working out everyday. My work keeps me on my feet and walking miles in a shift. But I somehow gained weight?? I was at 127 a couple days ago but now at my morning weigh in I'm at 129.
I want to throw up. I know my thoughts are distorted. But 129 is basically 130. Which might as well be 140. And I don't like that number. I was looking at my medical records yesterday and in 2013 I was 180 pounds. And I didn't even realize how overweight I was. Now I'm terrified of ever getting back there. This is the lowest weight I've been in my adult life. But I'm not happy. My original goal weight was 125 but that's not good enough any more.
I totally get that weight fluctuates, and plateau. But I'm still panicked. I have done nothing to encourage any weight gain but it's still happening. I can't help but fixate on it.
My boyfriend and I are visiting his parents this weekend and they are planning on going to Portillos. I grew up with a portillos right down the street and have missed their food so damn much. Cheese fries and a vanilla shake. I've been thinking about this food for months now. But even if I plan for these calories. I feel like eating that will destroy my work. My boyfriend is worried about this visit . I have self harm scars all over me and an eating disorder. Part of me is going "fuck them, I don't care what they say." and the other is saying "wear sweaters, pants, and hide yourself." my boyfriend just wants me to be happy but his mother will be so judgemental and full of questions. It's going to be tough. Visits revolve around food. And questions. But it's only 3 days. Then I can get back to my life.
I made an appointment for a recovery program but now that it's getting closer, and I'm not done losing, I'm not even sure it's right for me anymore. I don't know what to do about that.
I got done with a partial hospitalization and got on Effexor and I was doing so damn good! Now everything is slipping again and I feel like I've missed my opportunity to catch myself. Slip away! I'm tired of fighting.
[Tip] Calorie Log with BMR + Projections (want one? I made one!)
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 09:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oolrs/calorie_log_with_bmr_projections_want_one_i_made/
---
Hi--I got tired of not finding what I want so I created a google sheet that will let you do the following:
* Figure out your BMR
* Do a quick projection of weight loss based on CICO + BMR
* Let you log your cals by meal, exercise and give you your net (including bmr) plus project what you'd weight in 7, 14 and 30 if you maintained that level of net
If you want a link to the google sheet message me :)
[Rant/Rave] Moved to the Netherlands..
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 09:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ookay/moved_to_the_netherlands/
---
It's been a week since I left the US, and after a short trip to Ireland I have now been in the Netherlands for five days. There are lots of aspects I really do enjoy, like spending tons of time with my boyfriend, but oh man. His family and food. They are wonderful and very friendly and want me to feel welcome but they will NOT stop feeding me. I've had cookies, I've had pie, I've had potatoes - all things that were on my definite no list. Last night I almost had a break down because his parents made me noodles for dinner. I am entirely not used to having to deal with parents cooking foods for me and expecting me to eat them in front of them. I'm 23 years old, so it's literally been maybe ten years since I've dealt with this,and my parents just didn't care that I stopped coming to dinner. I can't get out of it with his parents though :/
On another note, if anyone here lives in the Netherlands and wants to be friends hmu because I am in need of those <3
[Rant/Rave] Well this turned into a shitty fucking day (Trigger Warning: sexual assault)
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 09:13:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ooj01/well_this_turned_into_a_shitty_fucking_day/
---
So I started the morning off pretty well today, got ready, ran some errands, started work, etc. I check my facebook and I have a new friend request...the shithole that raped me ~8 years ago decides to try to add me as a fucking friend. We used to be "friends" in high school, and since none of my family/friends know about what happened, I had to keep hanging around him until I left for university. I finally mustered up the courage to delete him as a friend a couple of years ago and he keeps trying to wander back into my life even though we haven't seen each other in many years.
I wasn't expecting this shit today and now it's completely thrown me off. I want to leave work, go home, binge, and cry. This man has no idea the hurt he causes me on a daily basis, especially when he tries to pull shit like this.
Today was supposed to be a good day :(
[Help] What is up with these fitbit aria readings after one extremely active week?
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 66.7 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 25F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 08:24:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oo80w/what_is_up_with_these_fitbit_aria_readings_after/
---
So I had a reeaalllly labour intensive week last week. Before I left I was, according to my fitbit aria, 68.4 kg and had a 29% fat percentage. When I got back I had gotten considerably heavier but the fat was lower than it has been. Now I'm losing weight really quickly but the fat percentage is going up at the same rate... I'm not even eating that little. So what is happening? Did I build a bunch of muscles and now they're turning into fat since I'm not as active as I was? It's probably worth noting that some of it was probably water weight, I was doing hikes all day, all the days of last week and some people that were traveling with me were almost unrecognisable because their faces were so bloated.
Monday: 69.9 kg, 27% fat
Tuesday: 68.7 kg, 27.6% fat
Wednesday: 68 kg, 28.4% fat
Thursday: 66.7 kg, 29.3% fat
Friday (today): 66.1 kg, 29.9% fat
Is this good? Or bad? Does this mean I'm more fit or less fit? I can't really tell myself, these days.
EDIT: formatting and grammar
[Rant/Rave] Crazy pms cravings...
/u/shuthelockup [5'1 | constant bloat | 20.4 | F20]
Created: Fri Jul 21 08:20:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oo74t/crazy_pms_cravings/
---
Guys,
I've been having ugly thoughts, of creamy pies and all things nasty. I can feel my period is about to arrive soon and this is such an emotional and cravefull time for most of us.
I've been playing the piano, went for a walk, ate fibre rich foods, ended the day on a nice 666 kcal at 3.19 but I can't eat more today. I'll just feel even worse tomorrow.
Mother of sweet pastry, I hope I make it. <3
[Rant/Rave] I think I may have the most clueless boyfriend on the planet (Rant)
/u/RedFoxDVM [5'3" | CW: 114 | -23 | UGW: 100 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 08:14:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oo5om/i_think_i_may_have_the_most_clueless_boyfriend_on/
---
So last night I kind of told my boyfriend about some of my issues with food. I didn't go to work yesterday because when I woke up I was so weak and hypoglycemic that I could barely even get out of bed, and I new that I would faint at work if I tried to go. When my boyfriend got home from work he asked if I was feeling better, and thats when I told him that I knew why I was sick this morning, and it was because I had barely eaten the day before. I told him that my anxiety is better when I don't eat. He said "It's ok, everyone has bad days, tomorrow will be better". Like.... ?! HOW does he not realize that that is not something that normal people do? How did that not raise a single alarm bell in his head?? I asked him if he was mad at me for not eating the day before and he said "Well you feel better now so no, I'm not mad." I am honestly dumbfounded. He is the most amazing mix of kind, supportive, and completely and utterly clueless I have ever met. It kind of makes me want to just keep losing weight until he realizes that maybe I have an actual problem. He has noticed my weight loss so far and has been nothing but supportive, congratulating me and encouraging me. In his defense, I started out at the borderline overweight BMI and now I am solidly in the middle of a healthy BMI, so he thinks its just me being healthier (he has no concept that losing 5 pounds a month is too fast). I kind of want him to realize its a problem and be concerned, but at the same time his cluelessness lets me continue being as disordered as I want without anybody noticing, and I would be so upset if he was mad at me for making myself sick.
[Discussion] DAE want to relate and support when it comes to body image but feel like they'll be judged based on size?
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 07:32:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6onx2h/dae_want_to_relate_and_support_when_it_comes_to/
---
So a friend of mine had posted in a private group about weight struggles and outside of trying to be supportive otherwise, I don't want to say anything about relating to being uncomfortable in my body. My friend happens to be overweight, and I'm still in the normal range, but since losing I feel uncomfortable even bringing that up. I feel like (this isn't an ED group, to clarify) I'll be judged because I'm "healthy" so I'll never be able to relate to feeling "big" (note: I'm throwing those words in quotes because I feel like they're judgments I don't place on these friends. Because fuck that, they're my friends... they could be a Flying Spaghetti Monster and I still would care about them the same way).
But I do relate. There are days I notice my loss since before treatment and I react some way, and others where it's STILL not good enough. That I could still lose weight. I know it's probably because I had similar judgements in treatment because I was on weight maintenance, so that thought ostensibly protected me from being judged by others. I was totally afraid I was the embodiment of the feared body for those on weight restoration. And now I'm confused because having that fear of judgment for being "healthy" makes me think I'm accepting I'm "thin" or whatever.
I legit have no idea if any of this makes any sense.
[Rant/Rave] sabotaged by the coffee shop, rip me
/u/Rhyanon [Who needs reasons when you have an ED?]
Created: Fri Jul 21 06:50:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6onoz6/sabotaged_by_the_coffee_shop_rip_me/
---
was gonna water fast on vyvanse and coffee today because i binged yesterday. Asked for a cold brew, They brought me new orleans cold brew. it got milk in. I'm too anxious and polite to take it back. riperoni pepperoni mates.
tbh i should probably seek help for this, i feel v. foolish for getting anxious af about less than a hundred calories worth of milk in a drink but nah not yet. hey, at least i'll find understanding and compassion here :D
[Goal] Reached a goal weight. It doesn't feel real...
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Fri Jul 21 06:20:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6onjqw/reached_a_goal_weight_it_doesnt_feel_real/
---
https://imgur.com/tKdrYUe
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! July 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 21 06:13:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6onijy/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_july/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for July 21, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 21 06:13:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6onij2/daily_food_diary_july_21_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 21, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Just cry at the gym
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 105 | 17.04|26 F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 05:58:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6onfvd/just_cry_at_the_gym/
---
The gym use to be my happy place. For a year I was fine, training constantly 5 days a week in the morning 6am, eating really healthy. I was gaining my strength back, I was even happy with the idea of bulking and gaining muscle.
But something happened and started all over again, body dismorphia. the breaking point was 2 weeks ago, I posted it here [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m47l6/betrayal/). I was so sad I couldn't eat, and it started to just be not wanting to eat again. As I was not eating more than 200 cal a day I was not able to go to the gym. I kept me awake with tea and matcha.
Today I pushed my self out of bed into the gym. I was not able to lift or do the exercises as I normally did. I was resting and turned into the mirror, start to realize the fat in my arms, how the sport bra squeeze it around my armpit area. How the yoga pants squeeze my tummy. I couldn't but hate my self and I start crying. I was alone, luckily.
I was fine, or I thought so, I felt like an athlete. Now I just want to loose all this fat, I feel so trapped. Maybe my ED was never gone, maybe I was just focusing the energy in a positive way, but still was not really happy with my self.
Now I just have a battle in my head, between the ED and the acknowledgement that I should fight this and eat healthy. I am aware of the damage, but I also don't care, I want so bad to not feel disgusting as I do.
The worst of all is that I can't think well I can't study, and I will feel miserable is I let this ruin my grades in the exams.
--
[Discussion] Old CalorieCount (now VeryWell)
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 05:12:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6on8ri/old_caloriecount_now_verywell/
---
HELP!! I used to live for the old CalorieCount website!! I hate that its gone and the new version (verywell) doesn't offer any of the same features.
Anyone know of an app that will let me track calories while **showing me my net deficit** for the day? My fitness pal works in CICO and does not show you how many cals total you burned (resting metabolic rate) in addition to exercise. Thanks in advance.
[Rant/Rave] I have to give up tv.
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 05:02:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6on76f/i_have_to_give_up_tv/
---
Posible trigger warning.
So I was having a stellar day yesterday. It was after 7pm and I was UNDER 200 cals. I would have gone to sleep, I should have gone to sleep, but I was in the hospital for a concussion yesterday so people kept calling/texting to check in, plus I had to take my medicine at midnight.
Anyway I decided I'd turn in the direct tv app and leave it in the background because the commercials are always so loud that they wake me up if I doze off. BIG MISTAKE. Maybe 5 min in there were so many food commercials. One after the other. I was ok until this taco bell commercial came on. I freaking lost it. I spent an hour trying to fight the urge to get dressed, get in my car and drive to taco bell.
I lost. I binged. My gorgeous 125 calorie dream day turned into a 1435 calorie NIGHTMARE. The food wasn't even good--and thank goodness for that because it stopped me from doing more damage!
I must give up tv. I just can't deal with the imagery. I woke up .4 lbs lighter but I imagine I could have women up SIGNIGICANTLY smaller if I hadn't weakened and self sabotaged. Netflix and YouTube only from now on.
[Rant/Rave] Weight Plateau For No Apparent Reason
/u/Raining-Lemons [5"2 | CW 117 | GW 100 | UGW 95 | 26 F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 04:33:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6on36f/weight_plateau_for_no_apparent_reason/
---
I've never posted before so I hope I do this right...
Has anyone else had trouble with weight plateaus? As in, I havn't lost any since Tuesday but I'm doing the exact same thing. No calorie increase, it's not water weight ect
I know logically I shouldn't freak out over a couple days but I'm struggling to not get into that mindset of "it's done now. Not gonna lose anymore. May aswel eat what you want". Day 10 binge free & trying to keep it that way.
Just really worried my body's decided it's going to stay at this weight now :( Like, how long should I wait it out for to see before I just concede defeat?
Any advice/input is very much appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] last day at internship in china
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 122 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 03:31:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6omux2/last_day_at_internship_in_china/
---
so it's been a month of trying to avoid too much food, doing short, light workouts in the morning, and freaking out every time food has been forced on me in the office.
BUT
today is my last day. I've been eating keto for the last week so that I can eat with other people but without weighing scales, I don't know if I've gained or lost. I'm going to a spa tomorrow morning where they have scales that also measure fat percentage and I'm nervous.
I've had a celebratory steak meal with my dad planned for tonight for a while now, and I was all mentally prepared for it. the idea was to fast all day so that I can enjoy it without guilt.
then along came my lovely well-meaning coworkers, insisting on taking me out to lunch. tbh, I feel kind of shitty that I had to eat (I'm estimating 600 cals max) unplanned food, and normally, this would totally derail my day and I wouldn't have the steak. BUT I MANAGED TO SAY "FUCK YOU ED, I DESERVE THIS!" and I haven't purged, haven't cried, haven't decided to overexercise. I've survived a month of interning in a country where I barely speak the language, I've made good 'contacts' and boosted my CV, I've bonded with my dad, and I've been exercising enough to see the start of some muscle tone. I won't let this one act of kindness fuck up my day.
I'm going to dinner soon and I'm going to order a steak and some nice veggies and eat every fucking bite. :)
[Help] How to add stats???
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Fri Jul 21 01:40:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6omglm/how_to_add_stats/
---
I feel kinda dumb for posting this but I'm a total newbie so have mercy please!! How do people add their height and weight next to their usernames?
[Help] Request: Looking for a "To the Bone" screenshot
/u/dumbstupidanorexic00
Created: Fri Jul 21 01:35:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6omfxn/request_looking_for_a_to_the_bone_screenshot/
---
I don't want to watch the new "The the Bone" movie on netflix because I just don't like ED movies and they always trigger me into oblivion for a couple weeks. I just don't want that. BUT I keep seeing people talk about a part of the movie where the main character wraps her fingers around her bicep. This is something I'm obsessed with doing and have been using as my measure of "I can't gain weight beyond this point" for a really long time. tbh it matters to me more than my weight. Until the movie came out, I never really saw other people talking about it, so I'm wondering if someone out there has a gif or screenshot of the scene/s in which she does this? I want to compare, I guess.
Weird request, sorry. I'd just prefer to avoid watching the movie if that makes sense.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Fuck ED's!!!!!
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|154.8 lbs lbs|24.6|20F]
Created: Fri Jul 21 00:46:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6om999/rant_fuck_eds/
---
I wish I didn't have to fight so hard to attempt to have a normal relationship with food. Before yesterday, I didn't purge since like October. But yesterday, I ended up going out to dinner with friends. I ordered chicken pad thai. I ended up eating it, then purging it when I came home. Then eating the rest of my left overs and purging it again :( I then decided it would be a GREAT idea to fast all day Thursday & exercise.
Why can't I be nice to myself?!
Gonna try to eat around maintenance for a bit and participate in a much well needed self care weekend. I hate that I'm so god damn fixated on food and calories. Fuck this shit. Fuck Bulimia. Fuck eating disorders. Fuck my fixation on food. Just.Fuck.It.
[Rant/Rave] i don't care.
/u/mikey-way [2 scared 2 weigh myself wooo]
Created: Fri Jul 21 00:34:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6om7lf/i_dont_care/
---
i know that this is like, a major thing. i know that i'm throwing away my teenage years by being obsessed with food. i'm ruining nights out with friends bc i spend the entire time worrying about how much i've eaten, and can i sneak off to purge. i know i'm risking death every time i throw up (especially when it's the 5th time that day).
and you know what? whatever. i don't care. i'm content with this being my life. sure, it's an awful attitude to have, but i'm not interested in recovering. i'm not interested in changing my ways.
that's probably like, an awful thing to confess, but it's true.
(maybe it's me being suicidal, too. "you might die from this!" and? to me, that's a bonus.)
...anyone else feel like this? :(
[Rant/Rave] I'm sick of constantly waking up planning to not binge or to fast and then losing all control when the slightest thing doesn't go right. I made a solid plan to follow to keep me in line and so far it's been doing me and my sanity some good.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Fri Jul 21 00:30:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6om711/im_sick_of_constantly_waking_up_planning_to_not/
---
https://i.redd.it/popj6fb24waz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Dearh lurks around corner and I don't care anymore...possible trigger warning
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Jul 21 00:21:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6om5os/dearh_lurks_around_corner_and_i_dont_care/
---
In mobile flair as help or rant or rave.
So Chester Bennington of Linkin Park killed himself. Cross out another name. All my heroes are too sad to live. I was most upset about Robin Williams because I met him and he was a beautiful soul who brought so much joy to the world.
I just find it hard to get excited about life. I've been dealt a shitty hand and just want to fold. Quit. Be done pretending. I don't want to leave a mess I just want to disappear.
I'm not even fasting on purpose anymore I'm too sad to eat. Food doesn't appeal to me. All I've done is chain smoke and drink coffee and walk around.
Currently walking around a lake at night. Probably dangerous but if someone wants to rob me or harm me I honestly don't care. I'm not making the most of my life.
I don't have a career. I work a job I don't like to pay for things I don't need to impress people I don't even care about. I'm detached from my family, my parents and my brother. I feel numb.
I see beautiful and ugliness in the world and myself as the later over the former. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Help me.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I'm not going to weigh myself at all tomorrow
/u/miepe [5'4 | cw: 115 | 20f]
Created: Fri Jul 21 00:09:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6om3wi/im_not_going_to_weigh_myself_at_all_tomorrow/
---
I've been feeling super shitty for seemingly no reason lately, but I think compulsively weighing myself 10+ times a day is probably one of the main culprits. I hate the fact that my entire happiness depends on whether or not I've lost as much as I think I should have. Also why the fuck do I feel the need to weigh myself at 6pm after I've already eaten and drank 2+ liters of liquid throughout the day?? Of course you're not going to weigh as little as you did after just waking up dipshit!!!!!!!!! But it's also not like I gained that much in pure fat after half a day, so why do I fucking care so much ugh.
So yeah, not weighing myself at all tomorrow, even if it kills me to not check. I'm hoping to maybe go a full week without weighing, so when I do actually weigh myself it'll be way lower than I'm expecting (or knowing myself I'll have plateaued and not lost a thing lol fuck)
[Discussion] Getting rid of food secretly?
/u/sadbean17
Created: Thu Jul 20 23:47:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6om0xj/getting_rid_of_food_secretly/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] I got a script for Topamax today.
/u/We_Are_Vigilant_ [5'9"| CW164 GW150 | ~ | M]
Created: Thu Jul 20 23:14:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olvul/i_got_a_script_for_topamax_today/
---
So today I was at an appointment with my psychiatrist to just do a normal monthly checkup. I told her that weight gain was an unacceptable side effect for me. She prescribed me Topamax as an appetite suppressant. I'm pretty exited about it. Do any of you have any experience with it?
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like service people look down on you and treat you differently than skinnier or prettier customers?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 22:47:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olroi/does_anyone_else_feel_like_service_people_look/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Do you have any part of your body that you think looks disproportionally small/large?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 22:31:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olp7d/do_you_have_any_part_of_your_body_that_you_think/
---
My arms are fucking tiny, like smaller than they should be for an only slightly underweight person. But Jesus my thighs looks huge
[Rant/Rave] I love it when my friends accidently prevent me from going over my calorie limit <3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 22:04:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olkqz/i_love_it_when_my_friends_accidently_prevent_me/
---
So I'm at this camp thing right now for math nerds, and I met some really cool guys a few days ago. Anyways, I was having chocolate/sugar cravings so I was planning to go to the vending machine and get some Reese's/Coke, but they saw me on my way down and asked if I wanted to learn how to play a game.
Basically I ended up hanging out w cool new friends, learning to play a new board game, and I didn't go over my limit!!! At all!!!! ngl I kinda wanted a Diet Coke after that but it was curfew and I didn't have time to hit the vending machines at all
[Rant/Rave] Kill me
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Jul 20 21:42:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olgyx/kill_me/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave or help.
I hate working at a restaurant. people are annoying and I wish I could die. I'm having really bad anxiety and self harm urges and just hare my life. That's it.
I envy the dead.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Wanting to die because of weight gain.
/u/BathtubDweller
Created: Thu Jul 20 21:38:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olgck/wanting_to_die_because_of_weight_gain/
---
I lost a lot of weight 2 summers ago and I just started gaining it all back slowly since the beginning of this year. At this point I'm about right back where I started. And this is on top of a whole shitload of stuff I'm already going through and it's just so hard. I feel like I'm trash now, like I'm not worthy of respect or love or anything. I haven't been able to get ahold of a scale to even weigh myself and I'm really upset. My clothes are starting to fit me again, some are even tight. And the worst part is I can't even control myself! Food is the only thing that can soothe my emotional pain and distract me from my physical pain. My life has completely gone downhill this year and the weight gain is just like the rotten cherry on top of a shit sundae. Sorry, I just don't know what the hell to do anymore.
[Rant/Rave] I binged and I feel like a failure.
/u/yazsal
Created: Thu Jul 20 21:16:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olci4/i_binged_and_i_feel_like_a_failure/
---
[removed]
[Other] Lost
/u/THECrew42
Created: Thu Jul 20 21:14:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olc9e/lost/
---
You ever just... feel lost? Where you don't want to talk to someone, but they're the only person you want to talk to? Just feeling... I don't know where I am and where I'm going.
[Rant/Rave] I'm SO SCARED for college. I don't want my roommate to know about my ED.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Thu Jul 20 21:08:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6olb6f/im_so_scared_for_college_i_dont_want_my_roommate/
---
We both like eating healthy and staying in shape but she has lost 25 lbs the healthy way and I feel like such a fraud and I'm afraid she's going to figure it out. We just met like a month ago and she's so nice and already one of my best friends and I don't want her to find out because I'm afraid she'll be disgusted and think I'm pathetic. :(
[Rant/Rave] holy heck I'm narcissistic and mercurial 😂
/u/questions_anonymous
Created: Thu Jul 20 20:47:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ol7hs/holy_heck_im_narcissistic_and_mercurial/
---
I was feeling bloated and gross after eating today so I decided to go for a run, and just felt foul the whole way, but then I was cat-called by a group of suburban teenage boys and suddenly I was on cloud nine lol. It's amazing how something so stupid and petty can make my mood do a 180; unfortunately, it also goes the other way: one wrong look or comment and I'm fasting for the day.
[Help] Bloat from magnesium
/u/the_dark_dame [5'7" | 135 | BMI 21 | -22 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 20:43:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ol6pt/bloat_from_magnesium/
---
Ever since I started taking magnesium supplements, I've been getting super bloated... but I've been having regular bm, which is kinda a new thing for me that feels good. Anyone have any solutions that will still keep me regular?
xoxo
Any one here play League Of Legends?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 20:42:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ol6gc/any_one_here_play_league_of_legends/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate when I don't restrict the day after a binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 20:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ol12y/i_fucking_hate_when_i_dont_restrict_the_day_after/
---
[deleted]
If you could look like one person who would it be?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 19:50:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6okx40/if_you_could_look_like_one_person_who_would_it_be/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why am I like this 🙂🙃🙂🙃
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 19:15:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6okqex/why_am_i_like_this/
---
I've been not eating much/liquid fasting for about a week because I love feeling empty and it's like a challenge. I made it 44 hours liquid fasting (~55 calories) and I was decently proud. More next time!
BUT
The next day after I broke the fast, I said I was gonna try it again. But I ended up eating ~1300 cal. Alright, that's not terrible (TDEE ~ 1700).
THEN
Okay, so then I was going to try to eat moderately today. I knew I was baking cookies tonight so I'd probably have a couple tonight and a couple tomorrow at work, so I needed to plan accordingly. After cookies in the morning at work I was planning on doing a big ol' psyllium and miralax shake to get everything pushed out so I can stay over with my new man friend on Sunday night without GI issues and feeling confident and small.
So what do I do to prepare for fasting? LOL BINGEEEEE. 2600 cal today. I was at 2000ish and was like omg my stomach hurts so bad it's all distended and full and in literal pain, and the second that went away, BETTER SHOVEL SOME MORE FOOD DOWN 😭🙃
HA HA I hate myself
Today's realization
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 19:13:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6okq2b/todays_realization/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Ohhhh the Hypocrisy!
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 19:09:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6okpd0/ohhhh_the_hypocrisy/
---
So I'm sitting in my living room, thinking about how I ate way too much today...while I switch between watching My 600lb Life on TLC and Chopped on the Food Network 😂 God I don't deserve this disorder, I'm a walking hypocrite.
[Rant/Rave] That little comment that ruins your mood
/u/saede_art [173cm | CW 60 | BMI 19.81 |]
Created: Thu Jul 20 19:03:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oko4d/that_little_comment_that_ruins_your_mood/
---
Stupid small rant, but still need to share.
I went swimming the other day and felt pretty "confident" because my swimsuit was now way too big for me, especially my chest which is one of my biggest insecurity.
I was telling that to my colleagues at work and they said something in the lines of "well it's impossible you've lost weight in your boobs hahaha, it's probably just old or stretched"
I know it wasn't mean or anything but it still ruined my day and I'm back to square one with my insecurities... It still hurts a few days later and I keep replaying the scene in my head all the time.
I work mainly with 3 other girls, and they're really nice but I always end-up frustrated/sad. They often ignore me when I talk, or just start talking when I'm saying something. It makes me feel really worthless and useless and I can't wait for September to come so we don't have the same schedule... :/
[Help] Upcoming blood test
/u/Alkylhalides [5'2| 119.2 | 22.59 | -36.8 | UGW: 95 | 20 F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 18:34:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6okipo/upcoming_blood_test/
---
So I have to get bloodwork done soon since I haven't done it in two years. I've been avoiding it since I relapsed but my doctor wants me to get it checked to continue treating me for ADD and wants to check my thyroid bc of the fast weight loss lololol. I was restricting heavily for a couple months (reached a new LW in April), gained a bit back and continued restricting in May-now with an EC stack every once in a while. I just came back from vacation with my parents for three days where I had to eat (stayed at maintenance) but I've been back to <400 calories/day this week.
I'm mostly just really worried that something will come back really bad bc of my disordered eating. I take multivitamins and I don't feel that unhealthy but is there anything I can do to make sure the results come back somewhat okay? Is this an irrational fear and out of my control this point? Or has anyone else had to get bloodwork done? I can put it off for maybe another week or two so that buys me time, and I denied HIPPA so my mom can't even see my results.
[Rant/Rave] Every day is the fucking same
/u/pcrnography [it's just water weight]
Created: Thu Jul 20 18:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6okf9i/every_day_is_the_fucking_same/
---
I wake up. I hate myself. I eat. I hate myself more. I go to bed upset and swear I'm gonna be out of this binge cycle by this time next week.
I can't do it anymore!!! I feel disgusting. I disgust myself. I can feel the fat under my chin and on my lower stomach and wrapped around my thighs. All I do is eat and hate myself for eating. I can't even think about weighing myself or I binge. I miss being hungry. I hate this, I hate it so much, I don't want to do this anymore. I hate being fat, I hate how much of me there is, I hate how I'm bigger than everyone, I hate that I can't stop gaining weight. I can't stop gaining weight. It's terrifying. I'm fat and getting fatter and the worst part is that I know exactly why but I'm still helpless. It's like being trapped in my own body. I just chewed and spit a bagel in my fucking cubicle. I can't even stop at work!!!!!
Fuck, I am so tired of this. I would even take maintaining at a BMI of 23 for the rest of my life. I would rather never hit my goal weight or do anything with my life if I could just stop.
It's hard to think this could ever end.
[Rant/Rave] Kinda want to live kinda want to die
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 115 | 20.4 | -12 | F |]
Created: Thu Jul 20 18:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oker2/kinda_want_to_live_kinda_want_to_die/
---
My life has been pretty much shit for the 18 years I've been alive. I have a really abusive family and they are also extremely critical of how I look, my intelligence etc. I've had a series of horrible relationships and guys that treat me like I'm worthless and honestly I think it's true. I'm never good enough for anyone and I was excited to start college, but I know I won't reach my goal weight by then and I'm depressed over it. I also know deep down college will be the same as everything else... I'll be alone because nobody ever cares about me or likes me because I'm worthless and trash (literally). I just really hate myself and I would give anything to have some support by a friend or to be treated nicely at all, but I feel like I'll never receive that and that I will never be happy. Nobody can accept me for who I am with my flaws and issues. If I'm fake I can make friends I guess, but as soon as I open up about my past or my history of abuse people just run away. There's a small glimmer of hope that keeps my going but the more shitty things that happen to me the more it diminishes until I will most likely just give up on living. I don't know what to do anymore; college was always supposed to be my way out of my family situation, but I think I'm the problem because people outside my family reiterate that I'm never good enough. I hate myself, so why should I expect anyone else to like me I guess...
[Rant/Rave] IT WAS ONE DAMN PICKLE OMG
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 17:58:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6okb9a/it_was_one_damn_pickle_omg/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] A friend of mine just posted a picture of me on Instagram. I'm trembling.
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Thu Jul 20 17:45:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ok8ny/a_friend_of_mine_just_posted_a_picture_of_me_on/
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Today was an okay day. I ate a little more than usual, and I was fine until after dinner when I saw a notification on my phone of being tagged in a photo. It sounds super melodramatic, but I look so bad in the photo. The proportions are off, and I look so much bigger than I am in person. It makes me want to cry. I've done so well so far, but now I feel like I'll never get to where I want to be. I just...I don't even know how I can handle the rest of the day.
[Discussion] Accidental fasting
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 17:21:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ok3rj/accidental_fasting/
---
Lately I haven't felt like eating. I'm just not hungry, or even when I can tell my body is it's not uncomfortable.
I just had four Hershey's Kisses and usually when I have any sort of small snack or food I instantly want to binge but it was almost a struggle eating them.
It's kind of nice because I've been wanting to get back into restricting but it's also really weird because I haven't been able to easily restrict like this months. I'm not even drinking tons of liquids to offset hunger feels, I just genuinely don't feel like it.
Anyone else have this happen to them or know what could be causing it?
[Rant/Rave] A new low for myself (not weight wise)
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Thu Jul 20 17:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ok1xy/a_new_low_for_myself_not_weight_wise/
---
So during second semester freshman year of college I was able to lose about 25 pounds eating around 1200 cal and I felt really good about it. Flash forward to this summer (going into my junior year) and I've gained some of it back and I plan on eating about 1000 or lower calories a day.
So for breakfast today I had a Think Thin bar and a sugar free mocha iced coffee w/ skim milk. BUT then on my lunch break, I'm driving around trying to find somewhere I can get a low-cal meal (mind you I had a late breakfast so I wasn't too hungry)--so naturally I go to fucking Dairy Queen and get a 4 piece chicken tender basket (4 tenders, 2 pieces of white toast, and fries) and painfully binge it all 10 minutes. Next thing I know I find the closest place to park (ironically enough it was an outpatient unit parking lot) and attempt to purge into the Dairy Queen bag as cars drive by. Alas, I'm incapable of purging (I've only "sucessfully" done it once last year) and I return to my part time job as a receptionist---sweating from the failed purge, nauseous from the food, and even more nauseous from starting birth control pills again 3 days ago. :)))
so ya hows your day going?
(Luckily my birth control pills have made me so fucking constipated and nauseous so other than a Gatorade, I haven't eaten anything since this fateful lunch)
[Other] Why are feelings a thing?
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 17:05:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ok0jl/why_are_feelings_a_thing/
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Therapy this morning sucked. Fucking trauma work sucks. Fucking ED work sucks. If it weren't for my car and chatting with my roommate while I was making coffee instead of lunch (today is shit recovery wise) I'd be crying in bed.
Instead I'm getting laundry done and learning how to code. I still feel pretty fucking awful intermittently, and food is a cluster fuck today (as in challenge snack with therapist and current snack now is it. Fucking terrible but whatever). My car couldn't be fixed, but I have a dealership I can go to to look at it literally within walking distance and I'm still under warranty. So that's cool.
I just wish I could say these things to people IRL instead of restricting and smiling. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Fml.
/u/plantheadkade
Created: Thu Jul 20 15:24:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ojecp/fml/
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I literally just ate 1500 calories worth of food in 10 minutes.
-chocolate cake (Wal-Mart "portion" sized 740
-kickstart? 250?
-Harbro gummy fucks 300
-like 6 soft chocolate chip cookies??? (500??)
I want death. Motivation for fasting I guess as I feel really sick. It didn't even taste good it all tasted harsh and unforgiving
[Help] how do you get a diagnosis? can you at the regular doctor?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 15:07:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ojaay/how_do_you_get_a_diagnosis_can_you_at_the_regular/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] How do you keep your ED a secret?
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Thu Jul 20 14:32:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oj1ny/how_do_you_keep_your_ed_a_secret/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hate coming out of my room
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Thu Jul 20 14:27:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oj0ho/i_hate_coming_out_of_my_room/
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My parents always used to yell at me (and they still bring it up) about how I never used to come out of my room. I still hate coming out of my room (I'm now transitioning to living on my own btw) and everyone always assumes it's because I'm some depressed agoraphobe. And while that's true, that's not why I don't come out of my room. I know that when I come out of my room, I'll go into or near my kitchen and I'll start eating and I'd rather just go days without coming out of my room then binging.
[Discussion] [help/discussion] avoiding eating while high?
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Thu Jul 20 14:22:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oiz75/helpdiscussion_avoiding_eating_while_high/
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i'm,,,,, pretty mentally ill. and medication only does but so much. i've found that smoking weed helps regulate my mood and reduces my anxiety, among other things. my only problem is that when i'm high, i eat so fucking much. i hate it. how can i keep myself from eating when i'm high? or at the very least, reduce the amount of calories i consume. any help is greatly appreciated. 💙
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Jul 20 14:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oiyyw/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/799ep7hd3taz.jpg
[Other] @ everyone who participated in my to the bone stream on rabb.it
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Thu Jul 20 14:11:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oiwrm/everyone_who_participated_in_my_to_the_bone/
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@admins i don't know how i would flair this
i don't remember any of your usernames (😭😭) but i managed to get the tumblr url suckmyskinnyballs. y'know,,,,, if you wanna follow me,,,,,,
[Tip] Lemon Poppy Seed Pancakes with Strawberries and Blueberries! 124kcals total!
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 14:04:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oiv49/lemon_poppy_seed_pancakes_with_strawberries_and/
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https://i.redd.it/hfcnhivf0taz.jpg
Bruising really bad! What vitamin am I lacking 😖taking iron..
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Thu Jul 20 13:58:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oith2/bruising_really_bad_what_vitamin_am_i_lacking/
---
https://i.redd.it/d4zp71jazsaz.jpg
[Help] Help with lightheadedness, weakness, and fainting?
/u/Anonymous_MM [5'2"| CW 140 | BMI 26.5 | GW 110 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 13:54:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oishx/help_with_lightheadedness_weakness_and_fainting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE feel guilty about not working out due to injuries?
/u/Proednc [177cm | CW 135 | BMI 19.10 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 13:45:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oiqcc/dae_feel_guilty_about_not_working_out_due_to/
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I used to be really active when I was younger but I've been having such a hard time with working out the past couple of years due to injuries that I didn't treat properly at the time. I had finally started going to physio but coverage ran out and now I've been doing nothing except feeling sorry for myself. I don't know what to do. I've tried low restricting but I can never keep up with it. I try to keep below 1000 calories a day but the summer months are so hard when friends/family want to go out and drink/eat all the time. I feel so useless and lazy. How do you guys deal with not being able to workout because of injuries?
[Intro] Intro and Relapse
/u/soiguessnot
Created: Thu Jul 20 13:31:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oimrs/intro_and_relapse/
---
Hey you guys. I was a lurker but until recently, I considered myself almost fully recovered. I swung between restriction and bulimia for almost a decade (I'm in my 20s, female), and cured my bulimic tendencies after reading 'Brain over Binge'. This past year, I gradually decreased weigh-ins (from daily, to weekly and recently, a few months) and completely stopped calorie-counting (which in itself is a miracle and a first in 10 years). For the first time in my life, I've spent almost a full year not obsessing about calories or weight (my last weigh-in was 110 lbs at 5'4", so relatively healthy). I've stayed the same size since and more importantly, I've been happy and focused on other hobbies and friendships and learning new things with the freed-up brainspace.
Two weeks ago, I was minding my own business and eating Cheerios, when the spoon hit my mouth the wrong way and the milk made a *slurp* sound. It's like something snapped in me and my brain suddenly glitched and said "you can't eat cereal anymore" and my body went on autopilot and dumped the rest into the sink. Almost immediately, I could feel every rule rushing back and now I feel like I'm tumbling backwards and I don't want to. I don't want to battle this anymore, I don't want to go another decade like this.
So far, I've managed to not get on the scale or check calories, but I am very aware that there are two roads ahead and I'm already falling back into rituals just to quiet some of the anxiety. I'm so tired of this.
This may not be the right subreddit for this but what should I do? Is this a thing? Am I going to for the rest of my life be fighting to make slow progress just waiting for a stupid gross slurping sound to undo it all? I don't even know where to go without sounding like a lunatic, but I thought you might understand.
[Help] Weight loss stopped
/u/Zaomi [172 cm | BMI: 19.80 | GW: 55kg | HW: 67 kg | 21F |]
Created: Thu Jul 20 13:24:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oil34/weight_loss_stopped/
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So last month did go really well. I lost about 10 lbs and i can already see a little bit. 15 pounds more to go ! But this weekend my weight loss just stopped. And i dont know what to do. My stupid ED-brain cant handle this anymore. I eat about 800 kcal per day (for beeing at least a little bit healthy - my heart and stuff like that).
Has someone some advices how to break that supid plateau ? What are your best experience ? :)
Fasting would be hard since my boyfriend just wouldnt let me.
Maybe a a cheat day ? I'm not someone who binges so i guess i could deal with that but i have no fucking idea if this is even partly usefull (and the risk of purging maaaay increase if i exaggerate)
Or is my only option to decrease my calorie intake even more?
I already drink a shit ton of Coke Zero and water. So i dont think that its water weight.
[Goal] No Fucks Given Recovery plan. Grammar is for the week.
/u/blood_lust_emoXxXfag
Created: Thu Jul 20 12:47:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oibr7/no_fucks_given_recovery_plan_grammar_is_for_the/
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So, here's my story, give a fuck or don't, but for my own selfish reasons I will share it anyway.
I was a fat kid, hit puberty and learned about calories so I whipped it in the ass pretty quick. I went from 5'5 and 220lbs, to 5'7 and 140lbs in 6 months. All was fine and well, I was the model of "healthy diet and exercise." Then I hit 15 years old and shit got weird, I started to have these uncontrollable binges, I let it slide and was blissfully ignorant, kept going. Then the weight started to pile back on, at this point I was a year into my journey and I had hit 5'8 and 160lbs, at about 20% bfp. I was not happy, so I went on a calorie restriced diet again, for two months what started at 1600 cals a day, pretty quickly dropped to around 900 per day. I dropped from 160 to 125 in about 2 months. It was hell. I felt fucking sick, I would blackout every single time I stood up, walking was a chore--how the fuck was I able to workout an hour a day--and it was pretty much the worst. So, in my state of depression and misery I decided that having the body I wanted wasn't worth the pain, so I stopped giving a shit, and started eating between 4 and 10 thousand calories a day for an entire month. Shot right the fuck up to 180lbs in a month...How? Science. Then I became inexplicably depressed again, no shit, I looked like a fucking hotdog in the microwave, (you know how it swells???) so I started fasting. Welcome to bulimia sub-type motherfucker!
So that's how the "bulimia" started. And I've been living in hell for 5 years. I'm now a 21 year old "man" and I just can't do this shit anymore. I've got a girlfriend whom I love, I've been so successful in every fucking area of my life but the eating disorder, and it simply cannot survive anymore. It's fucking my career, confidence, and relationships. I've had so many break ups in the last year I can't count anymore, I've destroyed so much by being a "broken-faggot" (scientific term for my condition). So I had a long talk with my partner, (whose also my boss) last night about this and after hearing my faggotry she told my that I have to stop, I agreed, she said I need a plan because the standard treatment paradigm is shit, I agreed. SO! Here's the plan.
Water fast today and tomorrow (7/20/17 - 7/21/17)
Followed by 3 full weeks of 1,800 balanced calories per day, every single day, no exceptions.
Followed by 1-3 weeks of straight water fasting.
The why:
Intro Fast
Here's why this plan, by water fasting for two days first, I can rid my body of a little fat, and a lot of retained water which will make me feel so much better about eating 1,800 cals a day for 3 weeks.
Every time I've tried to just eat consistently for periods of time I would always freak that I wasn't cutting fast enough, and I was very dissatisfied, leading me to relapse. Also fasting for 2 days will make me feel pretty strong mentally.
Why 1,800?
Why 1,800 per day? Because I'm 5'9, 149lbs and around 15% bfp I'm not looking to lose huge amounts of fat. The whole fucking point is to NOT BINGE, and to feel like I'm inching toward my goals. 1,800 is also the least I can eat without feeling super deprived. So yeah, the 3 weeks of 1,800 is really about just not binging anymore for long periods of time to irradicate the habbit.
The Long Fast
Why? Because I am a professional in an industry the requires people to look a certain way, I love that, but I don't fit the bill and I don't want to lose my job because it's fucking worth it. I've got little lose titties from my past as a fat kid, so by doing a long fast it will help my body eat the excess skin because my body will be in a state of autophagy, and Dr. Jason Fung claims this will happen, and I have reason to believe him, because I noticed a similar effect from when I was ana for a while. Also, cancer runs in my family and a doctor whose name I can't remember recommends yearly long fasts to prevent cancer long term. And lastly, because it's fucking hard and I want to be challenged and win because fuck losing.
So that's my shit. Read it or don't, care or don't. I don't care honestly, I hope I can inspire someone or encourage someone to make a positive change in their life. If not, then who cares. Have a great day and love yourselves.
[Help] Beefless grounds and vegan question
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Thu Jul 20 12:38:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oi98e/beefless_grounds_and_vegan_question/
---
I bought gardein beefless grounds and holy shit, so fucking good! 100 calories for 3/4 cups which is a lot! I sprinkled in a little taco seasoning and used two crunchy taco shells, and added lettuce and salsa. Tacos for under 250 calories... I'm dying they were delicious.
On a side note, did going plant based help anyone lose weight? I know its all about CICO but I was curious as to if a vegetarian/vegan diet helped anyone lose weight.
[Discussion] Going to hooters today!
/u/skaggs123 [5'4 | 138 | BMI: 24.15 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 12:36:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oi8t0/going_to_hooters_today/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Gluttony
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Thu Jul 20 12:28:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oi6xe/gluttony/
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I (F15) went to the grocery store with my mom and older brother today, and when we got to the cashier I saw my brother had a grabbed two pre-made pizzas. I just got this absolute sense of disgust and revulsion, and I feel like he's losing control of his eating. It's like his eating habits trigger my brain into ED mode and Idk how to not be an asshole about it. Logically, I know he's not gonna become some physical embodiment of gluttony and excess, but seeing him eat just makes me wanna leave the room and go cry and do Situps. Anyone who relates?
[Rant/Rave] The folks over at r/fasting...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 12:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oi23k/the_folks_over_at_rfasting/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Tfw you gained A LOT more than you thought
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Thu Jul 20 12:08:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oi22a/tfw_you_gained_a_lot_more_than_you_thought/
---
I hadn't weighed myself since early may. I was 120. I figured I would be 125 or something now. I weighed myself this morning aaaaand 132. I havent been this high in years. It feels awful honestly. I know it is changeable but it just feels horrible. Im gonna fix it.
[Rant/Rave] Pretty sure you guys are the only people who wont mock me for losing my cool over a bit of nutella
/u/daeboo [5ft2/87.2lbs🌑]
Created: Thu Jul 20 12:07:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oi1rs/pretty_sure_you_guys_are_the_only_people_who_wont/
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A little more than losing my cool.
Yesterday the bf and I were in the grocery lane and he decides to start pointing out all my "trigger" foods. Now, boy here knows full damn well that I'm a serial b/p-er trying to quasi recover, knows my foods of choice very well. Note that I was also teetering between "emotionally unstable" and "stressed the fuck out" that day.
Didn't go well. Started crying as soon as we left. Tried to ask him to stay with me and watch something/distract from inevitable b/p episode, but his friends called and came to pick him up to go to the basketball court. I half heartedly asked him why he'd done it and his answer was a mix of "I was angry at you" and "you would have binged anyway, so why pretend this was the reason?"
I'm super dramatic so instead of giving in to binge eating I walked home. The full 9km home.
Everything sort of sucks right now and I wish that eating disorders didn't make me so irrational/sensitive to ridiculous shit (like feeling personally victimized by sugary foods). I can't even take myself seriously because the whole situation was just utterly stupid.
Thanks for letting me vent.
[Rant/Rave] I got laid last night!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 11:57:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ohz5l/i_got_laid_last_night/
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[deleted]
[Help] Stomach pains
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 11:28:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ohrv6/stomach_pains/
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I've been eating like.. 200 or less cals a day for the last like week or so and I take a lot of medication that is supposed to be taken with food. I've been having suuuuuch bad stomach pains, so today I tried to eat a bit more, like actually have a breakfast, but I'm still having so much pain. Any suggestions for what might help, like maybe pepto bismol or something?
[Rant/Rave] [rant] [???] About to freak out and blow cover with my friends
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 11:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ohpjf/rant_about_to_freak_out_and_blow_cover_with_my/
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This is stupid and weird I just have to say it somewhere. I'm in the midst of a particularly strong bout of ed again and I've been doing fantastically keeping under 600 every day for a week, sometimes even lower. It's been amazing and I've been so proud of myself. That said, today is my birthday. I went out to dinner with my family yesterday and there we as no calorie information available at the restaurant and I immediately panicked, but I split a salad and so I think I kept under my goals. Then. THEN. Some friends came over, and we got to drinking, and I lost track of how many drinks I had and what they were mixed with. I know I'm going to do the same thing tonight, but my friends and I drove out to a Sonic for lunch and the calories are on the board and they're just screaming out at me and I could probably go over 600 calories with this meal alone. I'm like seconds from a complete meltdown, does anybody have any tips for coping with failure? I thought I'd accepted that I was going over my calorie limit today but now I'm faced with it and I DESPERATELY want to just eat and drink wth my friends and not care but my brain won't shut off.
[Help] High resticters, please talk to me.
/u/NeverLowEnough
Created: Thu Jul 20 11:18:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ohp8v/high_resticters_please_talk_to_me/
---
I want to preface this by saying that I believe that this is adherent to the rules, but if I missed something, please let me know and I'll happily delete this post. Also, is anyone is offended, please let me know and I'll do the same.
I moderately restricted to around 600 calories for a long time and did alright but all of a sudden, I just can't. I gained some weight from binging and now I'm maintaining because I lose and then gain back whatever I ate.
I'm thinking of high restricting because I'd prefer to reach my UGW eventually as opposed to never.
What is high to you? Do you lose on that amount?
Do you find yourself binging or going over your limit?
If you were once a low/moderate restricter, do you find high restriction leads to fewer binges and more steady weight loss? Do you find you have the energy to exercise more as a high restricter?
How do you deal with the "OMG, I'm eating all the fucking time and it's so much food!" feeling?
Thank you for letting me delve into your life for a bit.
[Rant/Rave] Panic inducing surprise party
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 10:48:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ohhui/panic_inducing_surprise_party/
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I'm posting way too much these days...but I made a post a few days ago about it being my birthday and how I managed to binge a little with less guilt than usual.
So fast fwd to today and I'm over my calorie limit for the day and my friends show up with cake and ice cream and planning a pizza party for dinner.
Cue massive panic. I really don't want to be a killjoy. I will have a slice of pizza and a bit of cake. Just gonna breath deeply. Be calm. And exercise and restrict it off tomorrow...Yes....
Haha thanks for listening. Just wanted to get this off my chest! I'm sure some of you have run into unplanned food outings/surprises and things... How did you mange?
**EDIT: I LOVE MY FRIENDS**. my ED makes me such a horrible person. I hate myself. I hate my body and want to die because I feel inadequate. But there are so many people who love and care about me. I feel stupid that something like this could make me feel so ungrateful towards the thought my friends put into their plans and gifts.
I finally realize that life is too short to pass up this little moments. Sure, I'm gonna run my ass off tomorrow and restrict like no one's problem... But still, I don't regret spending the time I did with the people I love.
[Discussion] Lowest calorie TJ frozen meals
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 10:18:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oharx/lowest_calorie_tj_frozen_meals/
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I've been searching for the low cal Trader Joe's frozen meal, and I'm not finding many good resources. Ideally I would like a list in order, with the name of the meal, calories per serving, and calories per package. I may just end up creating my own if can't find this. Does anybody have any good places to find all this info together?
If not, anybody want to help me create this? We could make a shared Google sheet.
[Discussion] What's your go-to for eating fast food?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 09:56:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oh55h/whats_your_goto_for_eating_fast_food/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Netflix and fml it's popular again.
/u/123Purrr [5'8" | 123 | 18.5 | F/24]
Created: Thu Jul 20 09:38:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oh0rs/netflix_and_fml_its_popular_again/
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Netflix is a big thing for my boyfriend's sisters and their kids. To the Bone was better than I was expecting but how long has it been out? I know for a fact A and her daughter J were waiting for it to come out and what do you know the questioning started yesterday. I was under the impression that everyone believes I used to have it (which is why they need to trust my judgment on a child showing symptoms) but I'm fine now. But then again J and A heavily subscribe to fat logic so maybe that's why they feel the need to "keep an eye on me."
Fuck all of the pseudo love and concern. Idk about J but A is super into the whole "I'm here for you!!!! just ignore the fact that I'll tell everyone everything and how I'm secretly more judgemental and plastic than a strippers tits." I guess this is just a rant... Everyone wants to be the hero - the gold plated crutch to show just how awesome of a person you are to fix someone else. But I can't be the only person to feel used and even offended at this self serving bullshit. When I'm ready to adopt a healthier mind set I will. My boyfriend helps by keeping me positive and accepting sometimes I can't eat and sometimes I fucking can't stop eating. A commenting on my plate, or how "pale" I've become, or asking wtf my weight is, or assuming any of my fucking motives Does Not. It helps them feel important so that's all that fucking matters.
Sorry if the rant offends anyone =/
I fucked up and I don't have anyone to talk to about it (not ED related)
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 09:01:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogs35/i_fucked_up_and_i_dont_have_anyone_to_talk_to/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] livid asf.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 08:49:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogp53/livid_asf/
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[deleted]
[Help] Dietitian appointment
/u/trop_mince [5'8" | CW: 129.4 | 19.46 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 08:28:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogki8/dietitian_appointment/
---
lmao so I just remembered I have a dietitian appointment today. Thanks to “good behavior” I go every other week and I WAS able to brush off my weight loss from being sick (thanks, kidney infection) but that was forever ago.
Does drinking a lot of water before weigh-in really help?
Update: She didn’t weigh me!
[Humor] I ate in my sleep
/u/missalligator [5'2" | 103 lb | GW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 08:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogjn7/i_ate_in_my_sleep/
---
My body decided "well I guess we gotta do this while she's knocked out" and I woke up with half eaten rice cakes stuck all over me that I don't remember eating. I had a solid 600 cal before I went to bed, completely sober no sleeping pills or anything. I vaguely remember waking up at 4 am and going into the kitchen but I thought it was a dream. At least my sleepwalking brain had the sense to only eat half of each of 5 rice cakes and leave the rest in my bed. Fml.
[Rant/Rave] Haven't seen this weight in...a decade. Conflicted.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Thu Jul 20 08:05:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogfpr/havent_seen_this_weight_ina_decade_conflicted/
---
91.6 (averaged numbers) on two scales with little difference between the two...I haven't been at this weight since I was 22/23 when I got to my lowest of 86-88. Since then, the lowest was a few years after that at 93. But this number is something I haven't seen in a while and I do not remember feeling this big last time.
My self-talk this morning went something like:
"Come on, throwawaytodayokc, what are you doing? I mean, really, what are you doing? You are a 32 year old woman, not in a relationship or connected with family, with bags of binge food wrappers in your car. You are walking on this earth with osteoporosis, the body of someone older, with the mind that was stunted nearly two decades ago. You're chasing a goal (which doesn't really exist anymore) that has no reward...
Why do you keep going? "
There is no why. It just becomes a compulsion. It's not about wanting to look good or being happy. It becomes a need. A craving. An itch that can only be relieved by going lower, lower and lower. It's not even a high anymore, it's just a flat reaction and the thought of, "Okay, more."
But I can't stop. Going under 90. Part of me is screaming for help and hope. I'm so lost and numb all at the same time. I am just going to be another statistic at some point, probably by suicide. I'm not scared.
Logging my food before I eat it
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 08:03:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogf7x/logging_my_food_before_i_eat_it/
---
http://i.imgur.com/1Y68Ktp.png
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend is really into swimming now ;-;
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 07:48:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogc52/boyfriend_is_really_into_swimming_now/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm a liar and I hate myself for it
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 115 | BMI 20.4| GW 105| HW 160]
Created: Thu Jul 20 07:46:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ogbjh/im_a_liar_and_i_hate_myself_for_it/
---
2 separate people (coworker and best friend) have asked me today how I've managed to lose weight recently. I feel so horrible for lying to them; it makes me feel so low and dirty. I tell them my old routine of weight lifting + cardio + paleo diet. In reality I'm not eating very much, I purge 1-3x daily and take laxatives 1-3x weekly. It's an awful cycle that I honestly don't see an end to; yes I've lost weight and I'm still losing, but the cost is so steep. The worst part is that I don't feel bad about the behaviors, I feel bad for lying about it all the time. Especially since as far as everyone else knows I'm still in recovery; the reality is this is actually the worst I've ever been. Ugh
[Discussion] I can't believe the extremes I reach
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 159 | gw 145 | -11]
Created: Thu Jul 20 07:14:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6og5f2/i_cant_believe_the_extremes_i_reach/
---
I know a lot of people here can identify with this, but it's still crazy to me. I'm either shoveling it in - eating fast food daily and binging almost nightly. Letting food soothe me completely. Or I'm not eating anything. I break a 2 day fast with a turkey burger and I feel like I binged. I can't believe I cooked it in bacon fat. I ate a protein bar afterward and it tasted *too* good and now I'm afraid I'm gonna fall into binging again. I should leave for my doctors appointment early so I have time to rest on the way if I get faint - better than eating something.
And those are obviously not the most extreme those extremes can reach, but every time I swing one way or the other I get closer to the edge. I didn't used to be able to fast. I also didn't used to be able to eat 3000 calories at once. How far is this going to go?
[Rant/Rave] Gross problem...
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 136.6 | BMI: 28.09 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 07:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6og347/gross_problem/
---
I have eczema and psoriasis on my scalp. It got to manageable levels (a few scaly patches of eczema on the back of my arms and behind my ears, maybe a couple psoriasis scales at the nape of my neck which I’d manage by drying my hair really well). Well, since my relapse a few months ago and my weight loss, my scales have taken over most of my scalp. It is painful and if my hair parts the wrong way, it is really gross to look at. I am at a loss, because the last time it flared up this bad, I was told my weight was the culprit, and I was at obesity BMI then.
Sooo in addition to my hair coming out in handfuls, I now have thick patches of scaly skin covering my scalp. I know cutting my hair back into a pixie will alleviate it to a degree, but I have been growing it back out for over a year and I can’t bring myself to cut it all off again 😞.
[Rant/Rave] Ending my water fast at 11 days tomorrow.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 06:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ofvdc/ending_my_water_fast_at_11_days_tomorrow/
---
[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support July 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 20 06:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ofth4/weekly_emotional_support_july_20_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 20 06:10:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oftbp/daily_food_diary_july_20_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 20, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Thinspo] If I was tiny, cute, and Asian, nobody would hurt me anymore for for fear of breaking me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 06:08:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oft2l/if_i_was_tiny_cute_and_asian_nobody_would_hurt_me/
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https://imgur.com/Fkr7Fju
[Rant/Rave] It takes too much work.
/u/fishareterrible [5'7 | 112.6 | 17.6 | f]
Created: Thu Jul 20 05:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oflsz/it_takes_too_much_work/
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Being recovered and eating properly takes too much effort. Constant eating, planning, stress, being made fun of for eating more than usual... Anything more than 1000 calories isn't worth the effort. I don't even feel good when eating properly. I don't feel energized like I do when I drink caffeine and take speed on an empty stomach, I don't feel as euphoric as I do when I do that, I don't feel accomplished or useful.
I hate myself and want to rot and wither away yet at the same time want the euphoria of starving and using stimulants.
[Discussion] Do you ever find old pictures of yourself
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Thu Jul 20 05:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ofibw/do_you_ever_find_old_pictures_of_yourself/
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And wonder why you thought you were fat back then, and then you check the date and realize that you are literally one pound from that weight right now, but you still think you're definitely like 15 lbs heavier than the picture you're looking at?
I did not know body dysmorphia had an expiration date, but I guess it does :/
[Rant/Rave] i'm officially underweight again!
/u/throwawayshppp
Created: Thu Jul 20 04:19:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ofcgy/im_officially_underweight_again/
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this post isn't gonna be that long because i really don't have the attention span to write it but i'm just really happy because i woke up this morning and i was 2 and a half kg lighter than my SW.
[Goal] Completed my first ever intentional liquid fast!
/u/elliebearrrr [5'5.5" | SW:175lbs CW:158lbs GW1:154lbs | 25.9 | -17lbs | F21]
Created: Thu Jul 20 03:56:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6of989/completed_my_first_ever_intentional_liquid_fast/
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*on mobile* Pretty self-explanatory title... coming up to 36 hours now, trying to make it to 48. Had 106cals of protein shake and some gum but aside from that, nothing except Pepsi max and water. I woke up feeling so good but I also hate how anxious I feel about breaking the fast, I wish I didn't have to punish myself for overeating by fasting - I'm terrified I'm going to mess up :( you guys are so lovely and supportive though, it's so good to have a community who understands
[Goal] I'm going to try to fast today. Wish me luck.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 03:27:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6of5ek/im_going_to_try_to_fast_today_wish_me_luck/
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I'm posting here as some kind of accountability thing. I have to eat dinner because that's when I take my meds, and I have to eat with them, but, other than dinner, I really want to fast. I've been eating way too much lately, and I need to reset things.
[Tip] So I found this handy calculator that shows how much weight you can lose in a day if you restrict to a certain amount of calories
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Thu Jul 20 03:15:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6of3y7/so_i_found_this_handy_calculator_that_shows_how/
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http://www.healthyweightforum.org/eng/calculators/weight-loss
[Discussion] Can the scale show a too low weight?
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5ft4 | CW 118.8 lbs | BMI 20.3 | GW 112 lbs | 52.2 lbs lost | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 02:22:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oex2g/can_the_scale_show_a_too_low_weight/
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I've lost more than I expected (5.6 pounds in 10 days) and I'm not happy as I'm worried the scale is wrong. That's with high restriction (700-1000cals with one 1700cal day and one unknown due to eating out also ran 10k twice and 5k twice and went on a 10k hike in that time period).
I reset it and it jumped up a bit but then weighed myself another 4 times and it was back to the low weight. Then I drank loads of water and weighed myself to test it and I had increased by almost a pound (so that seems accurate).
I've only had the scale for 6 weeks so could the battery be messing up the weight already? Does that weight loss sound possible? Very reluctant to be happy about my loss because I don't believe it.
[Rant/Rave] I'm fucking garbage.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 20 02:19:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oewnb/im_fucking_garbage/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] How do you guys feel about strawberries?
/u/amwub
Created: Thu Jul 20 01:44:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oes6k/how_do_you_guys_feel_about_strawberries/
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Because I think they're my new favorite safe food.
[Intro] Lost 3kg in 2 weeks from fasting
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 01:41:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oert8/lost_3kg_in_2_weeks_from_fasting/
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The headaches suck, but being fat is worse. I can't tell anyone because I don't want to draw attention to my lack of eating.
I haven't stopped eating, I just eat less. I try to stick to 1200 calories. Some days I can even get down to under 700 calories. Those days feel so triumphant. I feel so strong and in control.
I'm so glad I found this sub so I could finally express this somewhere.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/rave] I'm shit.
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW140.4 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW115]
Created: Thu Jul 20 01:17:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oeojr/rantrave_im_shit/
---
Just hate this.
Unemployed, sitting at home and in a vicious depressive cycle. The more I do nothing the more depressed I get and I am so scared that that's going to kill my chances of finding a new job.
I just feel like a terrible person and a disgusting, fat blob. If I could at least feel pretty again maybe some of the sadness would go away. Right now I can't do anything right.
Fuck :(
[Rant/Rave] My eating disorder
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Thu Jul 20 01:05:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oemvd/my_eating_disorder/
---
I'm bad keeping track of calories.
I don't weigh myself.
I dont fast.
I don't feel like I always fit in here?? Even in treatment, I stuck out because my habits and how my ED manifested were just...not normal in terms of ED. I was even told I was the weirdest anorexic. I'm not bulimic, nor anorexic, I'm not a binge eater. I'm some mishmash of everything. Yeah, diagnosed as just having ednos. At the clinic the group of girls were in their camps of what their diagnosis were. Because mine is just so fucking out there, I was in this weird grey area. And I still am. Its frustrating.
[Discussion] ED things I do to overcompensate...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Jul 20 01:01:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oembm/ed_things_i_do_to_overcompensate/
---
I was thinking about the stupid/odd/quirky/sad things I do because of some of my thoughts regarding eating and my body and because I like lists and venting thought I might just share and maybe someone else might find these in common. I guess this is also an open sharing sort of post. besides obvious symptom behaviors like purging, restricting, exercising, and if we could exclude self harm or anything too triggering for everyone sake. maybe someone will have similar common behaviors.
heres mine
-I dont wear a lot of clothes that "fit" i prefer looser comfy clothes, few things are in my actual size so i can always feel like things aren't too tight
-I collect jewelry and wear a bit when i go out to distract people from other part of my appearance
-I wear bangles and bracelets as a way to make sure my arms don't get too big or bloated for some reason, I also fidget a lot and bangles are something to take on and off and play with
-I dye my hair relatively frequently another sort of ploy to distract people from my actual body
-I fixate on numbers outside of my weight and measurements, I prefer even numbers or numbers ending in 0 or 5, exceptions being my two favorite prime numbers 13 and 23, kind of odd i guess
-I try to walk a lot but don't really keep track of how far.
-I prefer food that is aesthetically pleasing when i do eat but sometimes settle when in binge mode. I don't like "ugly food"
-I collect shoes because no matter my weight my shoe size never changes
-similar to shoes a lot of my layers look better oversized or fitted so my weight doesn't matter, flannels, cardigans, sweaters and some jackets
-I religiously carry my water bottle and feel nervous when it is not close
-I collect a lot of things for a sense of control and also for entertainment.
-I watch movies and learn random trivial details about them
-I learn random facts about celebrities cause i kind of wish i knew them
-I am seldom barefoot because i hate how my feet look and because my feet seem extra sensitive. I always wear house slippers at home and shoes outside, i wear socks to bed.
-I trim my nails frequently, more control i guess, i am pretty fixated on minor details of my person.
-I seldom pay full price for clothes because I feel like I will outgrow them or they won't fit for long so most of my stuff is second hand.
-I go overboard with jewelry and my hair but keep my wardrobe relatively muted, mostly black, grey, dark dark blue, some white.
-I wear a lot of hats and sunglasses when I am out to obscure how I look to people around me, I don't like being looked in the eye also i have perpetual dark circles.
-I wash my hands a lot because I feel perpetually dirty.
-I watch cooking shows and videos of people eating because I don't enjoy eating myself but occasionally do like watching other people enjoy eating
i guess these are some these.
what things do you do that you feel like are related to your ED but not necessarily diagnostic symptoms?
[Rant/Rave] Life Is Starting Up Again (rave)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | 143.8 lbs | 26.18 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 20 00:56:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oelmr/life_is_starting_up_again_rave/
---
I quit my job. I got a tattoo. I have an interview tomorrow. college classes start in a little over a month. I'm meal prepping. there's a teeny goal outfit hanging in my closet. I've got a planet fitness membership. the old ass treadmill that I used to run on for hours a day is now in my house even if it's still dusty. Life is fucking good. I am pumped, ready to lose the rest of the weight. I'm riding on a restriction high right now and I'm not gonna let any binge fears stress me out. I've fucking got my shit together and in order and I'm so ready to tackle on the last half of this year!
[Discussion] Chewing And Spitting
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Thu Jul 20 00:30:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oehxa/chewing_and_spitting/
---
C/Sing isnt something I have done frequently but over the past few days I have had the rare and dreaded PMS cravings so i figured c/s was the best way past it.
So this got me curious about;
- Other peoples views/ experiences with c/sing
And
- Pro's and con's
[Rant/Rave] Is this recovery or just fantasy, caught in feelings, no escaping reality.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Jul 20 00:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oefhj/is_this_recovery_or_just_fantasy_caught_in/
---
On mobile so please flair as rant rave.
I don't know what I am doing anymore. I restrict or fast then I binge but seldom enough to gain weight beyond my normal five to ten pound range.
I hover around a range no matter what I do and rarely tip below it. Sometimes I'm at the higher range but usually only remain for a few days to a week. Maybe it's bloating.
I have a lot of clothes in different sizes. Unfortunately fashion and clothes are one of my hobbies. I collect sneakers, shoes, vintage and unique leather jackets and jeans.
In preparation for moving in 5 months or so I have been bagging things up to donate. I have a lot of pants and shirts in different sizes because of my style choices and frequency of gaining and losing weight.
I tried a bunch of things on and decided to do away with a lot of things that are too small or don't fit. Pants, shirts, jackets. I can't stand to feel too big in my clothes and also enjoy having wiggle room I guess.
I'm not keeping the bigger clothes "just in case" more so just because I like an oversized aesthetic.
I keep going back to wanting to lose weight but some days I feel ok at the weight i am now. My arms are toned and slim, my shoulders are broad, I could be happier with my legs and hips, I have wide hips for a male, obviously less fat and jiggle but maybe I could try eating normally. I always do and fail.
My thinking is so black and white. I want to have my cake and not eat it too. I still want to lose weight and be thin before I start my new life on the east coast but I guess a part of me would be ok if it was slower or if I dropped weight over a longer period of time.
I just don't want to gain. I sort of want to be stronger and fitter but don't really want to put in the time and dedication I used to and as a male I am scared of "gains" I don't want to be bigger. I would like to be the same or less.
Is this a recovery type mindset? Might try restricting high at 1000 calories. It's a clean even number that feels perfect to me. Also keep walking when I can and logging and counting calories with a 20 to 30 percent inflation to account for companies being dirt bag liars.
Wish me luck lovelies. I just don't want to be miserable and sad. I feel like my life could be promising if I try and make it better instead of wallowing in my own pity.
Your one and only weirdo,
Willow
[Help] Headaches
/u/lunasouseiseki [5'9 | CW: 187lbs | BMI:26 | GW:140lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 23:26:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oe8hq/headaches/
---
Hi everyone.
First time posting!
I've fasted on and off for years, but I always break due to headaches. How do you curb the headaches?
I love the way fasting makes me feel and would like to make it a more constant thing.
Thanks 😊
[Other] I have to go.....
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Wed Jul 19 22:42:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oe1mr/i_have_to_go/
---
u/Bir_die or other mods, please flag as TW/NSFW for recovery things and bad side effects.
TL;DR: I don't know if anyone cares, I don't expect anyone to. I've probably seemed like a joke on this sub but hey that's no different than my real life. Anyways, the point of all this is to say I can't frequent this place anymore.
A young guy halfway across the country (US) caught a post of mine on Whisper (where I like to vent) warning of the dangers of ED. something about his non-accusatory tone kept my attention. He said his 20yo wife had gone through this and asked if I would be okay with talking to her. I agreed, as I don't talk to many people and I was curious where this would lead.
She messaged me literally all day long. For hours on end. We talked about so much. How I restrict, her restricting and B&P. My goals. Why I have those goals. We're the about same height. Our behaviors were almost exactly the same (except for purging). She never got below ~17.5 BMI (125 lbs @ 5'10") and had been hospitalized multiple times. Her osteoperosis was such that she'd snapped some of her ribs from purging. She has chronic arthritis now, despite her recovery. Various injuries form fainting at the worst times, stomach ulcers and all kinds of problems. And not all of this when she was underweight. She knew another girl about her age who had her stomach removed completely because the ulcers were so bad it could not be saved. Just all these horror stories. Nothing like I'd heard before.
Along the way, I told her I was trans. Her sister was, too. I told her I had breast augmentation coming up and wanted to be as close as possible to my GW So the final result fits my frame good. She asked me how I was going to get approved for surgery if my white blood cell count was low from restricting. She said her sister was denied her SRS for 5 months for that exact reason. Guys this freaked me out because I'd made NO MENTION of my low white count prior to a surgery I just had two and a half months ago. I just thought it was a freak deal then and fortunately was able to get it under control and have my surgery. But that was right before I started dropping below 1000 calories I day. I didn't know my food intake was tied to that, and the doctor hadn't asked or even speculated it when he found my count was low. It hit too close to home, to hear that I'm destroying my chances to get where I need to be in life.
Bottom line is, it scared me too much. I've worked too hard to get to where I can do these things for transition, I've waited my entire life for this. I deserve to be happy and deserve to be me, but not at the cost of a good, long life. Had this girl not taken time out of her life to speak with me I would have fucked up getting my last operation, I would have spiraled deeper into my ED and would have destroyed myself due to the massive defeat. I would have destroyed my children's father. I'm the only parent they have and I will not take that away from them. I want to watch them grow up to be the best people they can be. But I can't do that from a hospital bed, or a grave.
I'm sad about this because I adore all of you. So many kind, witty people on this sub with big hearts and good intentions. I wish the best for everyone here, in everything you do. So many gorgeous souls just trying to make it in life and you all deserve the best as well, whatever that is for each of you. I understand not being happy with yourself or your body, like holy shit look what I've put myself through to change me! I don't discount that your feelings and fears and frustrations are real, but seriously, hugs to each and every one of you. Do what you need to be great, and don't let this world miss out on your wonderful presence in it.
Shine bright, my stars. For a moment in time, you've lit up my dark sky and I will never forget that.
~EmpressAdrianne
[Rant/Rave] I was planning on eating at maintenance today
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 22:25:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odyts/i_was_planning_on_eating_at_maintenance_today/
---
It's 00:16 AM and I already ate over half of it. What the fuck.
The worst is, I usually eat, like, 20 times as much when I binge. If eating half my maintenance is that unfulfilling, I can't imagine how much calories I consume when I actually eat until my stomach hurts.
But honestly? I think this shows that I have to be more organized, you know? It's been over a year since I ate 3 meals throughout the day. I either binge whenever or don't eat at all. Maybe I just need some practice, learn to eat the right way.
But it sounds like such a chore. Like I have to actually think about eating normally instead of it just being natural. I don't want to live like that. I really hope it sorts itself out if I keep trying, but right now, it doesn't seem so good :(
[Rant/Rave] Oh Lordy, Im back under 150!
/u/CassTheUltimateBA [5'10 | 144.6 | 20.6 | 75 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:41:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odr3f/oh_lordy_im_back_under_150/
---
I'm so determined to lose more. I thought I'd just stop at 145, because that was my lowest weight back in highschool. Now i'm seeing that its not going to be hard to lose 20 more. At my height, 130 would be the cutoff for underweight/normal weight bmi.
I'm soooo happy! I didn't even binge today. All I had was 1 cinnamon raisin toast, 2tbs of cream cheese, 1 tablespoon of honey, and 3 key lime hard candies. The hard candies will be the death of me.
[Help] Is this even possible?
/u/chaosnanny [5'6 | way too much | -50lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odqnf/is_this_even_possible/
---
[removed]
[Other] I never actually compare myself to other women, I just hate on myself for not being "past me."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:32:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odpkd/i_never_actually_compare_myself_to_other_women_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Ranty-Rave] Nope, this isn't fucking worth it
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:30:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odp5t/rantyrave_nope_this_isnt_fucking_worth_it/
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Legit one day trying to go back to fasting (stupid) and I felt TERRIBLE. I tried caffeinating myself to no avail, and I got so spacey doing something I was enjoying, I finally said "fuck it" and had my favorite sandwich. I have no idea what the calories are, but it meets my meal plan. And now all I want to do (even though I fed myself an adequate dinner and had one adequate snack of 3) is binge and purge. I almost bought binge food too on the way home but I didn't.
Am I still cutting corners? Yea. But I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got shit to do and a world to conquer (ok, not really, but I'm an ENFP so when I feel okay I get giddy and want to do everything I find exciting). I can't give this so much attention. So high restriction (for now), minimal running and getting my shit together. Sure, eating sucks right now, but it's better than essentially flushing time and money down the toilet.
Peach
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:21:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odnhl/peach/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Dreyer's Slow Churned Ice Cream...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:18:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odn40/dreyers_slow_churned_ice_cream/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My husband supports me.
/u/ativan4u
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:13:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odm2v/my_husband_supports_me/
---
I don't even know how to feel about this. He's okay when I fast/purge/restrict/etc- god just don't binge. I'm 5'5 127lbs and have 3 kids. I use to be 105lbs with him and now he thinks (and knows) I'm fat.
All I think about are calories.
And I should be happy he's on board when I fast...and I am! It was hard being a teen under the watchful eye of my parents! But with my current weight it just makes me feel fat... unwanted. I don't know. I just don't want to give my kids an eating disorder but I want to be thin.
Anyone else in my boat? Or even close to it?
[Rant/Rave] Right when I thought I was getting better...
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:13:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odm12/right_when_i_thought_i_was_getting_better/
---
Decided to try and be normal for once. Went out with an ex who is literally the only one who knows everything about my ED.
I have had a very good couple of days so I decided to eat a normal meal and share w dessert..... at the end of it, he rubbed my stomach and said "yeah you look like buddha"
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people... he's the one person I've actually confided in and tried to talk to about this. I was having an awesome day and haven't purged in almost a week.... now I just want to puke until I pass out. I feel like I'll never be normal again and I was finally having a day where I was semi- okay with eating a normal amount...
[Rant/Rave] the joys of having an n-mom
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Wed Jul 19 21:01:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odk0g/the_joys_of_having_an_nmom/
---
my mother (who i ghosted after my eldest son died because she made it all about her and her histrionics) texted me today saying that if she could go back in time she would have aborted me. that i was nothing but a mistake. that i was fat and ugly and unloved. that she felt sorry for my children.
fucking whore bitch cunt. i don't really give a shit about her so it shouldn't hurt but it does. not that i'd ever give her the satisfaction of knowing. fuck me.
[Help] Saw To The Bone, all of a sudden want to recover, actually
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 20:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odhza/saw_to_the_bone_all_of_a_sudden_want_to_recover/
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I think I might be the only person who had this experience but I watched To The Bone and was like "oh shit. I get it now. I need to recover." I recently hit 100 pounds, (I think- I haven't weighed on the scale because I'm terrified of it), which has been my goal weight for a long time, but I still don't see the difference on my body. All I see is my flabby butt and big thighs. I was talking to my boyfriend about this and he told me that people keep expressing their concerns about how gaunt I look to him, and I'm not sure if he was just being nice/trying to make me feel better or if he actually meant it, but the combination of those two things made me decide to try recovering again or at least switching to maintenance, three pounds short of my original goal for the month, which was to lose 10 pounds in 30 days.
And so I've been at maintenance- a little over, actually- for a few days now, and I'm so scared. I'm scared that I didn't actually lose as much weight as I thought I did and that I'm still big. I'm scared that if I just committed to losing five more pounds, I would look the way I want to. I'm scared that this constant hunger and feeling bloated/fat all the time is never going to go away, and I'm scared of this feeling that with each bite I take, I'm going to get bigger and bigger. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to control myself and I'm going to eat over maintenance every day and just keep gaining and gaining, and I'm scared that I've been logging things incorrectly and that I'm way over maintenance, not just a little bit. Mostly I just don't know what to do now. I feel big and disgusting and I don't want anyone to see my bloated stomach and still-fat thighs, but I have to go on vacation with my family in a few days...
Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] Anorexia
/u/trop_mince [5'8" | CW: 129.4 | 19.46 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 20:38:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6odft7/anorexia/
---
Warning: May cause arrhythmia, osteopenia, low blood pressure, low pulse, heart palpitations, faintness, restlessness, hair loss, brittle nails, contusions, irregular body temperature regulations, electrolyte deficiencies, and more!
But at least you’ll be thinner. 😔
[Help] 48-hour fast?
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Wed Jul 19 19:54:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6od7js/48hour_fast/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] What would you do for a Klondike bar? Ruin my day, I guess.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 19:34:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6od3ol/what_would_you_do_for_a_klondike_bar_ruin_my_day/
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[deleted]
helpppp
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 19:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ocz8d/helpppp/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] when will people stop making my body their business
/u/alovelytime
Created: Wed Jul 19 18:52:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ocvhd/when_will_people_stop_making_my_body_their/
---
I'm so tired of people having a say at my body.
Some of my family members have been saying I look anorexic, but I'm no where near being underweight (like 33 lbs away to be exact). I swear they are all talking about me behind my back because everyone keeps bringing up anorexia, eating disorders, blah blah blah whenever they are around me. Then I have to try and play it off like it has nothing to do with me or act like I agree with whatever it is their saying.
It doesn't help that I am from the south and hispanic so being overweight is seen as being normal/healthy. When I look in the mirror all I see is a big fucking whale, and I don't understand because then they must all be lying to me if they don't see what I see.
I can't even get away with being at an ACTUAL healthy weight without people being up my ass. I don't want to fucking hear it, just let me wallow in my emptiness.
You have problems
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 18:48:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ocuou/you_have_problems/
---
[deleted]
[Help] 930 calories today....should I restrict more?
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Wed Jul 19 18:20:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ocozc/930_calories_todayshould_i_restrict_more/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Do you think recovery is possible without professional help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 17:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ochyh/do_you_think_recovery_is_possible_without/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Laxative that doesn't nearly kill me? TMI warning.
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Wed Jul 19 17:40:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ocgnf/laxative_that_doesnt_nearly_kill_me_tmi_warning/
---
So i wanted to poop.
Couldn't poop.
Took two generic x-lax pills.
No effect.
.... till right at about the 20 hour mark.
Then.. . I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE!
Dizzy head.
Stomach cramp.
Run to bathroom.
Almost couldn't sit due to stomach pain.
Sit.
Expected Action happens.
However also....
Heart pounding.
Sweating like in a sauna.
All at same time and needed to puke.
Grabbed water.
Drank sips.
Heart racing hard.
Arms tingling.
Over in a couple of minutes.
Exhausted.
Go to bed.
Feel fine.
What the ever living F!(#^$#!!!!???
This is only the, maybe, third time, in a year that I've used laxatives. Not kidding about the, I thought I was gonna die part.
Anyone have something LESS FATAL for laxatives?
[Rant/Rave] Whoa baby I fucking hate myself :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 17:37:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ocg1y/whoa_baby_i_fucking_hate_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This is screwed up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 17:29:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oce60/this_is_screwed_up/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Who else hates this this shit? I can't FUCKING stand it
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | - 140| 30F | AU]
Created: Wed Jul 19 17:00:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oc82f/who_else_hates_this_this_shit_i_cant_fucking/
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https://little-bitterfly.tumblr.com/post/163189107493/100-reasons-to-lose-weight
[Help] Need some advice/tips to stop binging/purging please!
/u/8thecooldude8
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:57:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oc7mn/need_some_advicetips_to_stop_bingingpurging_please/
---
I usually can restrict well enough, but I would say I'm closer to bulimic. I'm pretty good at sticking to 1200-1400 per day to maintain, and if I have to eat more just purge it later. Recently i've had some sort of shift and now I want to eat and binge all day and so purge, and just get into a big sucky repeat cycle. It's been about a week and I'm worried its getting worse! Anyone experience this or have advice? Thank you in advance.
[Intro] Welp, I'm back.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:48:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oc5rn/welp_im_back/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I messed up my Starbucks order, FML
/u/yaboifreud [F | 5'4 | HW 120 | CW 105 | GW 95]
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:48:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oc5kn/i_messed_up_my_starbucks_order_fml/
---
I read on one of the posts here that the light coffee frappuccino is a yummy low calorie option. I screwed up the "light" part when ordering (I know nothing about Starbucks) and ended up accidentally getting a coffee frappuccino with low fat milk. A drink that should have been 110 calories ended up being 220, with twice as much sugar. I knew something was off because it was super sweet and creamy. I only just now realized I messed up the order.
Commence spiraling. I feel so shallow for letting this little thing ruin my mood today but here we are. :^(
[Rant/Rave] I did so well!
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:45:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oc4zz/i_did_so_well/
---
I'm currently sitting right at 500 cal for the day. I had a very shitty day at work and I'm now meeting a friend for dinner and drinks. This place is awesome but I know I won't leave here eating less than 1000 cal.
Fuck
[Rant/Rave] SO's little sister will actually destroy me
/u/negative_delta [5'9.5" | CW 143.2 | 20.4 | GW 130 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:38:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oc3ha/sos_little_sister_will_actually_destroy_me/
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So I'm going to visit my SO and his family in New York at the beginning of August and the normal healthy part of me is super excited but my ED brain wants to die.
His little sister just turned 15 and is actually *tiny* (we follow each other on insta haha) and also gorgeous... perfect shiny hair and cute smile and everything. The thing is, he always talks about how she refuses to eat junk food and how she's worried about her body image and it's clear that he really really cares about her. I think he wants me to be kind of a role model to her, as their mom passed away this year and his dad doesn't know anything about "girl stuff". He also really admires my "healthy habits" because I cook a lot of healthy food for him and exercise regularly.
So there are a lot of weird issues tangled up in here: I'm worried about Little Sister bc that's when my own ED started getting bad, I'm worried about visiting and navigating their family dynamic given relatively recent grief, I resent that my boyfriend doesn't notice/care about my own eating habits even though he *knows* I restrict and weigh myself compulsively, I feel like my problems are always stupid and silly compared to his, I'm jealous of his sister for being so tiny, but also she looks exactly like the girls who were cruel to me growing up and that scares me, but I also want to be her friend/mentor?
Like PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER N_D YOU'RE AN ADULT. But I seriously don't know how to handle any of this.
[Rant/Rave] I hate doctors office scales
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:36:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oc33s/i_hate_doctors_office_scales/
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Legit I could weigh myself 2 minutes before leaving for the dr, take all my clothes off for the weigh in, not have any pee or food in my system, and I will without fail be like 10lbs heavier than I am at home. And I'm pretty sure it's not my scale at home either because it's relatively new, fresh batteries, etc. I just freaking hate it!! It makes me feel like a piece of shit especially since I thought I hit a low recently and it's all a lie because I'm not actually at a low at all.
[Intro] First post...
/u/TheDarkerHalfOfMe
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:18:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obzau/first_post/
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I have been restricting on and off for the past year or so, but just recently I got back into it when I saw how high my weight was.
Before it was hard to skip meals without my mom noticing, so it only ever lasted a week or two before I would go back to eating normally. But now I have moved out and have been eating less and I am more determined to loose the weight and keep it off this time.
Since I started I have lost seven pounds in ten days. But then I binged for like a week and gained five of those pounds back. But today I weighed myself (which I was terrified to do) and I was back down to having lost seven pounds in total. And now I am so freaking happy!
[Rant/Rave] My Reflection
/u/annan4 [5'4.5" | CW 152.3 | 26.14 | -17.7 | 18F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obxm1/my_reflection/
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I hate how obsessed I am with my reflection. If I am near a mirror at all it's like I have to look at myself for a ridiculous amount of time just staring at my face, my body, and god forbid I walk by a window or glass that I can see myself in because I'll make sure I get a good look before going by. gahhh I just can't stop myself though.
[Rant/Rave] I'm scared of myself...
/u/SatansFaveCat
Created: Wed Jul 19 16:10:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obxk6/im_scared_of_myself/
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I just relapsed into B/Ping out of nowhere a week ago after a year of almost solid recovery. i don't feel like I'm falling back into any anxiety or depression or things like that. seems to have been for no reason.
and i don't even enjoy the binge or purge at all. i hate every minute of it. awful but I just am doing it anyway. ughhh
This really sucks because I also have been clean from self harm since October, and I really don't want to relapse with that. i don't have urges or anything, either, but if I just went back to the ED randomly like this, what does that mean for other things?
and like i said before, i'm not depressed, but i keep looking at the train tracks when i'm at the station every day thinking about how i could jump in front of the train. so it would be too bad if i just impulsively killed myself.
i hate the feeling of not being able to trust myself!
ugh none of that was even comprehensible lol. i just needed to vent here :s
[Discussion] Anybody know if residential treatment places sorta like the one in To The Bone exist?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 15:40:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obqs3/anybody_know_if_residential_treatment_places/
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I was just wondering, and yeah I know that it's pretty unrealistic, but are there any that let you at least eat what you want and not be on a meal plan
I probably won't ever go to one, like I'm barely underweight as of rn but I thought it was interesting
[Tip] TIP: TARGET IS CARRYING HALO TOP.
/u/desperate_housecat [5'2" | CW: 125?? GW: 115 UGW: 108 | 22F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 15:37:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obq6r/tip_target_is_carrying_halo_top/
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[tip]
Sure, I only found vanilla and birthday cake, but now I don't have to lug my butt over to whole foods anymore.
Also, their riced cauliflower has been my main motivation for existing for like a month now. I highly recommend it 👌
[Rant/Rave] Some people seriously should learn to just keep their mouth shut when they don't have anything nice to say
/u/kristine0711 [158cm | 46.4kg | BMI 18.6 | 17F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 15:29:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obobo/some_people_seriously_should_learn_to_just_keep/
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So rant number two from me tonight (sorry😳)
Well, someone basically just told me I should get my shit together, make myself some food and stop complaining :))) and that's not all, she then proceeded with telling me that she's struggling with low appetite sometimes too, and that I should eat small portions of food often, and that would solve my problems 🙃🙃
So thank you for that one! You've officially made me feel like my eating disorder isn't valid and that I'm just making it all up
[Rant/Rave] |Rave| He called me small :)
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Wed Jul 19 15:02:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obhw5/rave_he_called_me_small/
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I went in to go get X-rays of my gut today to be proactive towards my health or whatever.
The lab tech asked what prompted the visit so I told him 'Constipation and bloating,' with an awkward laugh. He laughed and said 'wow, I never would have guessed, you're so small!'
I'm like......do you want a a five star review when the hospital calls me later, cuz that's you get one.
It actually made me feel lighter. :))) a stranger....calling me small.....it's never happened to me before in my life.
[Rant/Rave] Massive rant that's all!
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 15:02:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obhqn/massive_rant_thats_all/
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Hi again, I feel like I've been around here a lot recently but I just think I'm having a big low so have something else to moan about, everyone here is so supportive and I can't talk to anyone because no one gets it or has the patience to listen to me.
I'm just so fucking tired of never eating anything. I don't eat from when I go to bed until when I get home from work, I'm still fat, I eat some plain vegetables for dinner. I don't understand and I'm so fucking bored of this issue, I just want to be able to eat something nice, even like just something healthy that is more than just vegetables, without my brain collapsing and over analysing. At least if I wasn't massive it would actually mean something or someone would actually help me.
My second rant is about when my sister gets home from work and goes "ugh I haven't eaten anything all day, all I had for lunch is an a few peices of fruit" and starts moaning about it while tucking in to her seventh bag of chocolate for the evening or having pizza for the second day in a row (literally, she does not care) and like I hate that it makes me so bitter and disgusted like why does this happen. I'm annoyed that she doesn't care but mostly because she is actually destroying her body and doesn't care, it's like the embodiment of gluttony. She has the mental wellbeing to be able to eat what she wants and she takes it for granted, which is a selfish twisted way that my mind wants to look at it.
I have my first therapy appointment Monday which I've been kind of forced into but glad it's happening after recent arguments with boyfriend who is just done with the whole thing. Like I'm not done too. I'm pretty apprehensive as the fact I'm not underweight means that I don't need fucking help but I need some fucking help. I'm one more bowl of plain vegetables from going completely crazy.
Rant over!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Went to the beach and husband was caught checking out skinny girls.
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Wed Jul 19 14:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obgx7/went_to_the_beach_and_husband_was_caught_checking/
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I feel gross... now I will go on my bike for 3 hrs. I just want to be skinny. I have lost so much weight but it's not good enough. When I have men or women looking at me, Im Insecure and feel they are judging my body. Legit living hell ☹️
[Rant/Rave] Why TF is it so hard to find a therapist?!?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 14:53:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obfnr/why_tf_is_it_so_hard_to_find_a_therapist/
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[deleted]
[Other] Can I add ice cream to my protein shake?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 14:42:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obd09/can_i_add_ice_cream_to_my_protein_shake/
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[deleted]
[Help] In the middle of a 6,000 calorie binge
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Wed Jul 19 14:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6obbg7/in_the_middle_of_a_6000_calorie_binge/
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I'm sobbing. Feel like shit. Can't stop eating.
Tell me it's going to be ok.
[Rant/Rave] Unable to lose some damn weight
/u/kristine0711 [158cm | 46.4kg | BMI 18.6 | 17F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 14:22:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ob7ze/unable_to_lose_some_damn_weight/
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I've been stuck at the same weight for like a month now. Although I'm eating 900-1100 cals a day and burning 200-500 cals a day walking my dog, I'm still not losing anything😩 I'm so fucking desperate to lose some damn weight! And eating fewer calories isn't an option since I'm still living home and am supposed to follow a meal plan consisting off 1600-2000cals (I hide away as much food I possibly can).
Honestly don't know what to do. Feels like I've been stuck at this weight for ages now, and not seeing any progress makes me go crazy!
God this probably doesn't make any sense whatsoever but I just really needed to go on a rant rn
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo. Yes. The mirror. I know. She’s still thin.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Wed Jul 19 14:03:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ob3i5/daily_thinspo_yes_the_mirror_i_know_shes_still/
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https://i.redd.it/bwpty2qcvlaz.jpg
[Other] A bit of appreciation for y'all.
/u/nikkiethenoot [171 cm| 62.8 | 13F |]
Created: Wed Jul 19 13:48:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oazuh/a_bit_of_appreciation_for_yall/
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All of you are such wonderful people.
Before I came here I used to go on MPA or on Tumblr, that was just filled with so much negativity and got me to such a lower point than I already was.
Somehow I found this sub, and this is just so much better. There's so much support for everyone, whether you're posting about anything you've achieved or if you're struggling with recovering, just binged, or just want to share something that you feel good or bad about. Everyone here is just so supportive no matter what you're going through.
I don't post or comment often but just reading what all of you have to say helps me so much.
I used to think I was alone in this until I found this sub, and I know that a lot of you feel the same way, so thank you, so so so much for everything.
You don't know me, but to me, all of you are my heroes.
And I just want you to know; whatever your goal is, if it's losing weight or maintaining or finally recovering, I wish you so much luck, I believe in you and know you can do it. Nothing's impossible, even though it might seem as if it's taking a long time. Whatever you want to achieve, you will achieve it. Don't lose hope. You. Can. Do. This.
You guys are the best.
If you every need to talk to someone you can PM me, I'm always happy to help :)
[Rant/Rave] What's wrong with me??
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:57:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oanco/whats_wrong_with_me/
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I think my new personal trainer was hitting on me. I have to admit, I liked the attention, and the fact that it's a PT is a huge ego boost. But I'm in a committed (temporarily long distance) relationship, so I sent a rejection text the evening after he was texting me a LOT and sending me lots of :P emojis. We were supposed to go on a hike today, an invitation I said yes to, before I realized that I was *maybe* being asked out. I told him I didn't want to give him the wrong idea, but I also didn't want to assume the invitation was because he thought I was available. He responded by assuring me he wasn't thinking about it like that, and that since he's new in town, he's just trying to jump on opportunities to hang out with people with shared interests. Things were friendly after that, and he's a cool guy, so we're still going on the hike later....
And now I'm just consumed with the the ambition to make myself even more desirable and perfect. What's wrong with me? I love my SO, and find him way sexier than literally ANYONE. This guy is fit (I can't say I haven't fantasized a little), but not even by type tbh. I don't know if it's just that I've lied to myself all this time, thinking I could handle rejection, when really I'm hurt by the possibility that there was no interest at all, or if this is just some insane power or validation thing. I always thought my confidence was pretty good, but then I guess nobody hangs out on this subreddit because they've got unwavering confidence. Plus, working with him, I've gotten even *more* hyperaware about my body and maintenance, and it just makes me want to *be the best* and *do the best work* and *do some more goddamn reps* and whatever else it is I have to do. I know I'll be a good girlfriend because I've always been, but I feel so foolish.
[Help] What is better after a tremendous binge?
/u/amwub
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:53:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oam61/what_is_better_after_a_tremendous_binge/
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Fasting for a couple days like I want to do, and then restriction, or just sucking it up and pretending it never happened and continuing to eat small meals?
[Rant/Rave] i've been losing the same 15 pounds for six months
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:51:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oaltr/ive_been_losing_the_same_15_pounds_for_six_months/
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i'll drop it, gain it back, drop it again
it's fucking STUPID LIKE WHATS MY PROBLEM y'all for half a goddamn year i've made no progress. i'm so done with this shit, i'm fasting for as long as i can and then i'll restrict or just jump into the void idk
Need to lose it fast
/u/DeerLordy
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oaj88/need_to_lose_it_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Crying in my car, trying to avoid a binge...
/u/boozeandbunnies [5'6" | CW 128 | GW 100 | 20.66 | 23/F |]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:37:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oai6v/crying_in_my_car_trying_to_avoid_a_binge/
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Oh my god guys today Fucking sucks. Boyfriend and I have been arguing all morning. I finally exploded (wrong I know) about how hurt I am about him lying about proposing. Like long story short he had said multiple times over the past year he would propose to me and wanted to get married blah blah blah. I like legit got excited and started watching say yes to the dress and like downloaded some wedding apps to get some ideas down. Fuck I even told one of my only real life friends how excited I was.
Turns out he was fucking lying. He knew what I wanted to hear/that it was important to me so he just fucking made shit up. He came clean about this like 2 months ago and I've just been seething. Like who Fucking does that?!
Like if I told him I was going to buy him a new car and then 6 months later was like lol jk nvm didn't mean that he'd be fucking upset too.
I'm just like freaking out today. I'm on my stupid period, and I feel like shit and fat and awful. Ugh. I've only had coffee today and I was trying to be good but more than anything I just want to go eat a fucking cheeseburger and fries and everything!!!
At one point I almost told him "do you even realize I've been starving myself for weeks to be attractive for you?!?!"
FUCK. Fuck fuck fuckity fucking fuck.
Rant over. Thanks if you actually read this lol. Mostly just posting so I can make myself accountable.
I will not binge I will not binge I will not binge.
[Discussion] Let's talk about some things we like about ourselves.
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:36:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oai0e/lets_talk_about_some_things_we_like_about/
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I know we all come here to bitch and rant, and we all hate literally everything about ourselves, but positivity is great too!!
What parts of yourself, physically or personality-wise, do you really like?
I like my eye shape and eyelashes, my lips, and my hands and wrists (except the scars lol). And personality-wise, I feel like I'm a really good friend when I'm not being avoidant.
[Rant/Rave] A little victory
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 139.8 | 21.03 | -10.2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oac3p/a_little_victory/
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Hey all, so I've been on my own a lot lately because my moms been outta town so I'm doing all the grocery shopping and housework. Anyways yesterday was super hot (for where we live I mean, people from like Arizona would laugh at me lmao) and I realized I had to get some groceries for the house and I had no car. I was also high and was fasting. So I fucking managed to walk down to the grocery store, sweating my ass off with mild munchies WHILE on an empty stomach and I didn't buy any binge food or binge!!! Plus I weighed myself this morning and I'm down 6 pounds :') probably water weight but I don't give a HECK IM FEELING FUCKING SUPER DUPER CAN I GET A HELL YEAH
[Help] so i ate two apple pie thingies and i really wanna purge...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:05:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oaa51/so_i_ate_two_apple_pie_thingies_and_i_really/
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[deleted]
so i ate two apple pie thingies and i really wanna purge...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:05:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oaa4x/so_i_ate_two_apple_pie_thingies_and_i_really/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Weird body parts you're insecure about?
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:126lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 12:00:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6oa8t3/weird_body_parts_youre_insecure_about/
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For me it's my calves and my back. I feel like I have fat girl calves. No one has ever commented on them but I can tell they're way bigger than they should be. Knee high socks always feel weird and my skinny jeans are always the hardest to pull over them. :( My back is probably normal, I just wish I could see my shoulder blades better.
[Rant/Rave] They deleted their comment saying that I looked thin and now I'm spiraling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 10:49:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o9rdc/they_deleted_their_comment_saying_that_i_looked/
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[deleted]
[Other] U g h
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Wed Jul 19 10:41:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o9pe6/u_g_h/
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I hate that EDs make us so superficial
Like we are so much more than this
More than pettiness, comparison, jealousy, bitterness, self hate, blame, victimization, sunken self esteem, and terrible coping mechanisms.
[Help] How much restricting to lose 5 pounds a week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 10:34:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o9nq4/how_much_restricting_to_lose_5_pounds_a_week/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Unraveling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 10:00:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o9f1g/unraveling/
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[deleted]
[Help] How do you personally avoid hell on the toilet (NSFWish)
/u/shrink-me [5'5" | 134 | 22.3 | GW 115 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 09:49:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o9cih/how_do_you_personally_avoid_hell_on_the_toilet/
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Or, how do you get your fiber in without the bloating?
I've been eating low-cal, low-volume food recently, which has not been great for my system (AKA constipation woes). I write this post as a plea to you and the gods above for a solution, because this morning it felt like I was shitting BOULDERS. Almost as bad as the time I binged on 12 string cheese sticks and nothing else, which was some 7th layer of hell shit.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE vegetables but they always bloat me up, and seeing my bloated or distended abdomen is really distressing. What's your go-to to keep things smooth, portion control of veggies/teas/prunes/fiber supplements/etc?
[Help] Am I broken?
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 09:37:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o99k8/am_i_broken/
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So, I felt better this AM after my first "legal" run :P and I felt ready to tackle the day. My therapist texted me to inform me I have to pick out a snack I thought looked good, and bring it to have tomorrow. Ok, initial ED panic and then I chilled out and started scrolling through instacart to get ideas.
Nothing. I can binge on things I think look good no problem, but I literally found NOTHING I thought I really wanted in either the dessert category or chips like snack categories, because I was dead set on challenging myself. I found these yogurt dipper things, and I'm 90% sure my therapist is going to judge that it's too close to safe so I'm afraid to pick it.
Literally feel like the craziest person on earth right now.
**Edit: And my job decision is wavering, my friends lives are in pieces too and I feel like I can't help anyone including myself. *screams into the abyss**
[Rant/Rave] Competing with people who don't know it
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| 232 | -39 lbs | 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 09:21:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o95ke/competing_with_people_who_dont_know_it/
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What is wrong with me?
We are eating and I make 2 pieces of 45 cal toast, take one of the 4 eggs, use spray butter, and we share a small pork chop (they cook... it can be hard to argue against some foods without looking nuts).
They have 2 eggs, 2 pieces of 120 calorie toast (they tried my 45 cal bread and didn't like it- oh well... I am not eating it after you put real butter on it), real butter, and the other half of the pork chop.
So, I am normally the slowest eater and the last to finish... Tell me why I got irrationally mad when they took so long to finish their food???? Like they were trying to compete with me. Then, I just decided I won because I ate way less calories. I am crazy.
Then I was being defensive (they didn't know) about them seeing the tab that said proED... and recalled NO ONE KNOWS WHAT ED IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN...
We also had a conversation about how when I move in they aren't going to let me eat fast food at work. I revealed I don't eat breakfast or at work... all my bad choices start when I get home.
I am kind of relying on the shame they make me feel for eating fast food to not eat it... plus they cook for me so that will help me not make spontaneous bad choices when I am hungry after not eating all day... just feels like the mix for a perfect storm of restricting.
I was doing great restricting and then messed up and started binging/ eating at maintenance... :(
[Discussion] Xenical? Experience? Advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 09:17:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o94rf/xenical_experience_advice/
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[removed]
[Goal] No food today 🙅
/u/posyposer
Created: Wed Jul 19 09:14:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o93xl/no_food_today/
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After bingeing two nights in a row (Jesus Christ why did I buy ice cream...) I'm only having coffee today. I have a paper to finish and a final to study for but I know I can do it! I have some emergency adderall if I have a tough time this afternoon but I'm feeling determined!
[Discussion] To The Bone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 09:00:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o90ii/to_the_bone/
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[removed]
[Help] How do you guys prevent getting headaches from lack of food?
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Wed Jul 19 08:58:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8zya/how_do_you_guys_prevent_getting_headaches_from/
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I've been trying to drink a lot of water and take Advil, but I keep getting minor headaches throughout the day. I don't think I'm even restricting that much
[Discussion] Heading to Trader Joe's on my lunch break.
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 08:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8zbr/heading_to_trader_joes_on_my_lunch_break/
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Going to TJ's on my lunch break and need suggestions for new safe foods. My go to are those 100 calorie bagel thins and laughing cow cheese with cucumber for lunch. It's getting boring.
Need something that I can heat up either in a toaster or microwave!
[Other] What is non purging bulimia ?
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Wed Jul 19 08:55:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8z8h/what_is_non_purging_bulimia/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8z8h/what_is_non_purging_bulimia/
[Discussion] Adulthood
/u/ultimacocacola [5'7" | CW: TDH | LW: 110 | GW 115 | Gender F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 08:25:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8sb4/adulthood/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is rigid thinking a consequence of restricting, or are rigid thinkers simply more likely to develop AN?
/u/antimeridian [5'5" | BMI 16.97 | doing my best 🌻]
Created: Wed Jul 19 07:47:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8k4b/is_rigid_thinking_a_consequence_of_restricting_or/
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My inflexibility when it comes to ~the plan~ changing, routines not being followed, etc., is lowkey ruining my life...sooo I got to thinking: which came first, the rigidity or the restricting? Thoughts?
[Thinspo] Malena Costa
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Wed Jul 19 07:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8fmj/malena_costa/
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https://i.redd.it/i1ollefbwjaz.png
[Discussion] Happy hump day! Another day, more feels
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 07:04:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o8bi3/happy_hump_day_another_day_more_feels/
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I didn't used to post much but have been lately as it's nice to reach out and everyone is so great here! Today's mind fuck that keeps getting worse, lose more, eat less, feel bigger. Does anyone have strategies that combat this? Even when clothes are falling off I'm convinced I haven't lost any weight. My skirt is tight this morning which is because I'm bloated and it was just washed and it's such a mind screw. I hope everyone is doing ok. Wednesday means it's almost the weekend and given I'm hating work these days it's the only sort of break I get from my anxiety.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 19 06:12:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o81ls/daily_food_diary_july_19_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 19, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I'm struggling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 06:12:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o81l3/im_struggling/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I stopped at 6 oreos!!!!!
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Wed Jul 19 06:11:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o81ij/i_stopped_at_6_oreos/
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I almost binged. I almost did. Ended my day at 849 cals. And I FINALLY DIDN'T BINGE just because something sweet went into my mouth hole. I am so happy (:I hope y'all have a wonderful day and I hope to have another successful night too!
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday July 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 19 06:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o81ct/way_to_go_wednesday_july_19_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for July 19, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Thinspo] Korean model Kim Jin Kyung uploaded this on her Instagram
/u/plediw [161|54kg|GW48kg|19F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 05:47:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o7xhj/korean_model_kim_jin_kyung_uploaded_this_on_her/
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https://i.redd.it/xqzlw4ftejaz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Binging from my low weight, life could have been good, anyone that has been there done that have some advice/encouragement?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 05:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o7wnb/binging_from_my_low_weight_life_could_have_been/
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[deleted]
[Other] Update
/u/kaliolis [5'4 | CW: 51.1 KG | GW: 40 KG |19.4 | WL: 18.9 KG | F]
Created: Wed Jul 19 05:19:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o7t51/update/
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So a month ago I posted on this sub (check history if you want, cba to type down a whole paragraph as to how I fucked everything up lol) and basically got a lot of people worried about me and dms from some of you guys. Firstly, I appreciate how supportive this sub is to people who are suffering and desperately need help. Secondly, I was admitted to hospital for 2 weeks for trying to kill myself and my EDNOS so I guess things got a bit better. I am currently still struggling with eating and have lost weight again but I finally things under control. Again, I know this is a bit too late but I wish you guys all the best and stay safe out there!
[Intro] Gained after 2 weeks of trying to be "normal"- I feel like dying. Looking for a buddy!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 19 04:05:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o7ijb/gained_after_2_weeks_of_trying_to_be_normal_i/
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[removed]
[Other] Crazy weight loss during period??
/u/sibr
Created: Wed Jul 19 03:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o7dj1/crazy_weight_loss_during_period/
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So my period started yesterday (which thankfully explained my bloat and insane cravings for carbs) and everything I've read/heard says that there's usually weight gain and/or maintenance around the time of your period.
BUT I've been dropping weight like crazy since Sunday? I woke up with a 2.5 pound loss on Sunday which was fair enough because my weight had been the same for over a week, so I was expecting a bit of a "whoosh". But then on Monday, Tuesday and today I've woken up to a loss of a pound each morning. This is despite still being bloated af and binging on like... 1400 calories yesterday (1000 more than I'd usually eat).
Usually this would be something to make me ecstatically happy but right now I'm just insanely anxious that as soon as my period eases up all the weight will come back :( but I don't even know if the two are linked.... ugh I have no idea what's going on. Maybe I just need new scales lol
[Rant/Rave] I wish recovery was as simple as eating more.
/u/woollyshirt [5'8 | 19M]
Created: Wed Jul 19 03:04:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o7a7j/i_wish_recovery_was_as_simple_as_eating_more/
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Next month, it'll be a year since I hit my goal weight. It's been a bumpy ride, but I've managed to stay around the same weight roughly for the past 11 months. I've even embraced recovery in the past month, and decided that I don't feel like I want to feel horrible all the time anymore. I don't think I have body image issues or self esteem issues. I'm doing well in education. I haven't ever binged, and it's been a few months since I've fallen back into restricting. My physical health is improving constantly. I don't feel like I can relate to a lot of the posts on here anymore and so I post and lurk way less as a result.
Yet food still causes such horrible anxiety for me. I'm meant to be going away on a camp this summer, and the thought of eating there in front of everyone makes me want to cry, and I know I will cry. I'm trying to gain weight, and I'm not due to hit my goal until April 2018 at this rate, and I still constantly am feeling *wrong* for eating as I am now and gaining as I am. I can manage the physical stuff. Eating more, weighing more. It's fine. It's fun to cook more for myself! I feel better physically, and I feel like I'll be able to exercise better than before..yet the underlying anxiety and shame is still there, and it's so draining. I want to just *stop* caring about food, and it's just not happening. I don't really know what to do, and I don't entirely know why I'm posting this here. I'm just sick of feeling this way, and I want it to end, and even though I know that embracing ED behaviours is the complete opposite of what I need to do right now for it to end, it still just doesn't go away. I'm getting really sick of food feeling like a demon.
[Humor] Every day struggle
/u/Saltycook
Created: Wed Jul 19 01:10:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o6vhl/every_day_struggle/
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https://i.redd.it/l5fqpfid1iaz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Adam Ruins Everything...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jul 19 00:30:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o6psq/adam_ruins_everything/
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On mobile flair as rant/rave or discussion.
So on cable there is a show called Adam Ruins everything (full episodes should be on YouTube) he takes on myths or ideas and debunks them in kind of a funny way.
Tonight's episode was about weight loss...
It was really triggering and upsetting. I am trying to hold myself together and take it with a grain of salt but I am really upset.
I am sick and have an ED and the show pretty much said everything i believe is wrong. I have a lot of internet research to lean on and years of first hand experience losing and gaining weight and this still bugged me.
The show concluded. Counting calories is never accurate. Low fat isn't a way to lose weight. Extreme dieting and working out like on the biggest loser causes people metabolism to slow down and people to regain weight.
I hate how there is no research into human health and how companies spread false info and about products. Food should be exempt from lies it's food for fucks sake.
I am just upset and feel awful. This show is entertaining but this episode was not..
Willow.
[Help] Food dominating my thoughts
/u/Saltycook
Created: Wed Jul 19 00:21:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o6o8u/food_dominating_my_thoughts/
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[removed]
Is it an eating disorder or anxiety with ED presentations? Is there a difference?
/u/mushroomlevel [5'6" | 107 | 17.34 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 22:48:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o6a6v/is_it_an_eating_disorder_or_anxiety_with_ed/
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[removed]
[Help] Why do I still want this?!?!?
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 22:44:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o69he/why_do_i_still_want_this/
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Someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with me??
I'm in a place where the ED is all consuming and really on my case. I've been skimming my meal plan for a week, but it wants LESS. I need to be waif-like, invisible. But why? I draw a blank, but the drive is so fucking strong.
I have THE best friends in the world. Yes, my financial/job situation is an absolute clusterfuck but I have this weird faith it will be okay. I have a wonderful roommate and a great apartment.
Is it because I accepted help and support recently? Do I think I need to self-sabotage and ruin it because I don't think I deserve it? I don't know. There is no reason I need the ED anymore.
Part of me thinks it's that breath of fresh air after getting past an ultimatum. Like "see you did your part, now I can come back." And I don't like feeling like I have to do something because someone said so.
I don't know. Maybe I'm helpless and I'm just broken and can't be fixed.
[Discussion] Wonder if there are any teenagers struggling.....
/u/Kayla647
Created: Tue Jul 18 22:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o68z3/wonder_if_there_are_any_teenagers_struggling/
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I've been self-conscious of my weight for a long time. Binging and then going a while without eating. I have no one to talk to in real life especially not people my age so I decided to make a Reddit account and it's comforting to know you are not alone.
Just my thoughts.
edit: Thanks for all the positive responses. I was really surprised to hear this. Honestly I feel better. :)
And I'm definitely up for talking as well.
Minecraft Account For Free
/u/PRO5050
Created: Tue Jul 18 22:36:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o687x/minecraft_account_for_free/
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http://minecraftupgrade.com
If you had to eat 20,000 calories what would you eat? X-Post from Ask Reddit
/u/tastefuldebauchery
Created: Tue Jul 18 22:22:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o65to/if_you_had_to_eat_20000_calories_what_would_you/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6o2xnz/if_you_had_to_eat_20000_calories_in_a_single_day/?st=J5AI3CG9&sh=9c69b7c4
Uh.. I just purged in my friends bathroom, that's connected to her room, while she was sleeping.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 22:16:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o64p4/uh_i_just_purged_in_my_friends_bathroom_thats/
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[deleted]
Calorie free/low cal creamer?
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F | 🍑: dontgivearhett 🚬]
Created: Tue Jul 18 22:09:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o63hc/calorie_freelow_cal_creamer/
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What do y'all use, if anything? I've seen Walden Farms around but I know they're super hit or miss. I hate drinking calories and I usually take coffee black but lately I've just been in a coffee with creamer mood. Any suggestions?
[Intro] First post, horrible day
/u/gracefullystupid
Created: Tue Jul 18 21:18:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o5us8/first_post_horrible_day/
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Hey guys. First of all, I don't feel like I should even be posting here. I've been writing this post and deleting it for an hour now. I'm obese. I need somewhere to go though. I have no one to talk to about any of this. I live with my fiancé and he knows all about my depression/anxiety issues, he's seen that. He knows a very small fraction of my eating problems, but definitely not much and I would like to keep it that way since it's the most embarrassing part of me.
Today has been just awful. I have binged on a bit over 4,500 calories, which is the highest I've gone in a very long time. I even purged some of it. I don't even purge. I usually chew and spit, or used to, but I haven't in a while. I've just kind of been accepting the binges and then fasting or restricting. Since I've gained 50 pounds. In a year. I've been losing the same 10 pounds for months. I have been trying so, so hard, to lose those 50 pounds again. I worked hard to lose them in the first place, and I gained them again. I can't lose it. I really fucking can't and it's really wearing me down. It's been triggering all kinds of cutting and self loathing and hatred. I hate my fiancé seeing that side. But I can't help it. And I hate it. I'm so exhausted.
I should also say that I'm not actually diagnosed with an eating disorder, I mean I am too fat I feel like, I think.. But I sure as hell know this isn't normal. I don't really know anymore. I'm never going to see a doctor anyway. I had a few therapists when I was younger and they diagnosed me with the depression/anxiety but I stopped talking to all of them, quit my medicine. I hate doctors. I've been dealing with this for 3 years now. The eating part. Nobody knows. I'm so tired of this. I just want to be normal. I never will be. And apparently I'm also never going to be beautiful. I can't have anything.
I'm so sorry for the rambling.
My dad disappeared today and left only a note. Found out he lied about everything to us.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Tue Jul 18 21:10:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o5t87/my_dad_disappeared_today_and_left_only_a_note/
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Sunday he told me I had to take my clothes and everything and that I was basically kicked out.
Today he told me to leave my key and take everything and that my stepmom was staying with her sick sister for awhile and it could be months so he was going on a trip with friends.
I went over to their house and found my stepmom crying. He told her I hated her and would never come back. He told ME she didn't want me there. He lied to us.
He told her my mom was ABUSIVE (LIE) and horrible (lie). He told her so so so many lies.
She was never planning on visiting her sister and her sister isn't sick. He lied to me.
He basically lied about everything to her and she didn't know and i didn't know til we sat and talked for hours.
He left a note that said he was gone and he was sorry and that's it. After we compared stories and we realized how much he lied about, I called him and told him to fuck off, go to hell, and never talk to me again.
There a ton more but I can barely think right now because this all came out of nowhere and I just binged on Nutella and peanut butter sandwiches and vegetarian sausages and I just don't know what to think.
**TLDR: my dad lied about EVERYTHING to my stepmom and me and basically fabricated an entire fake life and now he's gone and I never want to see him again.**
[Rant/Rave] Lost ability to restrict?!?!?
/u/silverblackbriscoe
Created: Tue Jul 18 20:45:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o5ond/lost_ability_to_restrict/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm shook
/u/ItsAllOnMe92 [6'1" | MTF]
Created: Tue Jul 18 20:36:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o5my0/im_shook/
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My grandma asked me if I wanted something to eat I said no. What do you know? She says this not eating shit is getting old.
[Help] Help Me
/u/samsick66
Created: Tue Jul 18 20:28:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o5le0/help_me/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So I ate 1200 calories but burnt off 1400...
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Tue Jul 18 19:41:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o5csy/so_i_ate_1200_calories_but_burnt_off_1400/
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Is that considered fasting?
[Rant/Rave] Just binged and ruined everything
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Tue Jul 18 19:36:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o5byj/just_binged_and_ruined_everything/
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But I refuse to purge. I had a great few days and then started feeling so nauseous from both my period, restricting, and running as much as I have been.
But I will not purge.
I need to stop teaching myself that binging has a way out.
Maybe if purging is off the table, one day binging will be, too.
[Help] Drink textures that make you feel full (besides carbonation)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 19:21:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o598y/drink_textures_that_make_you_feel_full_besides/
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Hey, I love carbonated drinks. But it's expensive constantly buying those Fruit2O drinks. I want something that I could make at home. I was thinking of buying a carbonator machine but they're hella expensive so I'm looking for an alternative.
[Rant/Rave] I'll never be "done"
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'9.5" | 135 | 19.23 | -48 | F 🌻]
Created: Tue Jul 18 19:12:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o57d1/ill_never_be_done/
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Last year I lost about 60 pounds. I had for the first time in my life been in the overweight category according to the normal BMI, so I committed to disordered eating longer than ever before. I didn't *really* have a problem in my head, I just was weird with food.
Now people call me thin, assume I'm a runner, say they'd love to look like me.... And all I can see is that I'm not good enough. My stomach still isn't flat, there's still too much to grab on my arms, and my thighs still balloon from my torso.
I began to eat "normally" again when I hurt my hips. Turns out I have a genetic disease that makes my body basically start falling apart when I have little muscle and fat.
So my choices are to FINALLY look how I want, to finally feel confident and comfortable, and watch my bruising get worse, my joints hurt more, and my dizziness get worse, or stay as I am/slowly increase (because I'm always sure I'm slowly increasing) and stay unhappy and unconfident.
I keep going back and forth between wanting to build muscle and ignore my fat so my body can be healthy, and wanting to be fucking happy with myself for the first time, fuck the consequences. This results in me just staying where I am, with little muscle and a moderate amount of fat. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Fuckkkkkkkk
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 18:17:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o4wjl/fuckkkkkkkk/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I've been bingeing for 5 days straight
/u/AnaWahad [174 cm | CW 75 | HW 100kg | GW 54kg | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 18:06:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o4u3p/ive_been_bingeing_for_5_days_straight/
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I'm so scared. I'm so fucking scared. This is last year all over again. I'm in the exact same place I was *exactly a year ago*. I can't believe this is happening.
5 days ago, I fainted while fasting and my family made a big deal out of it. So, *obviously*, my dumbass brain thought it'd be a good idea to eat the whole fucking kitchen instead of just eating until I feel better. So at least my parents think I'm eating?
And the worst is, I *can* stop this. I *can* get back on track. So why can't I?? What the fuck???
But holy shit I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. I've never been so scared. I'm afraid I'll never get out of this. And I want to just cry when I think that if I started losing weight healthily a year ago, I'd be done by now.
Bingeing makes me miserable. Being miserable makes me want to binge. What the fuck even is my life. I can't get myself to look at the scale. I'm scared.
[Rant/Rave] Help-Family Pool Party...Judgmental Cousins/Fam?
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 17:33:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o4nib/helpfamily_pool_partyjudgmental_cousinsfam/
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Sunday is my cousin's graduation and she's having a pool party that I have to go to. I don't want to because I was bullied by (all 5 of) them for being ugly and too thin, but my parents are making me. Now that I'm not-so-thin, I have heard whispers from them about me gaining weight and making fun of the stretch marks, self-harm scars and a bunch of other body shaming stuff. If I don't swim they will make fun of me even more and it just sucks to deal with because we aren't kids anymore, we are all 18-25!
I have been so upset and stressed about having to go that I have been binging and purging and further perpetuating this situation as I am starting to bloat and just look like a whale compared to them. I don't know what to do because all of my aunts and uncles are judgmental of me too as I have always been the black sheep and they are all shallow af tbh. I just need to know how to prepare for when they try to put me down again because I teared up last time and they (and their school friends) just laughed behind my back and I want to be stronger. Any advice or words of support would be helpful guys <3
[Rant/Rave] My family's going on vacation without me because I'd rather stay at home and be disordered.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 17:00:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o4ghg/my_familys_going_on_vacation_without_me_because/
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They're going to the beach for a week so part of the reason is that I don't want to be in the sun and risk getting a tan, but mostly it's because vacations mean fast food stops on the drive there, restaurants for every meal, and ice cream on the boardwalk. I could've convinced my dad to let me get some safe food at a grocery near the hotel, but that would've made everyone hyper aware that I'm disordered and ruined their vacation (including my dad's new GF who doesn't know I'm anorexic yet). Plus I'd still have been cooped up in the hotel room the whole time.
I'm also ruining my sister's birthday dinner by coming to the restaurant but not ordering anything other than diet coke, while my other sister ruins it by yelling at my mom in public. Happy birthday, your gift is being reminded that your the only sane person in your family!
[Discussion] Does anyone know where to get lavender chewing gum?
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Tue Jul 18 16:59:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o4g91/does_anyone_know_where_to_get_lavender_chewing_gum/
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I know it EXISTS, but I cannot for the life of me find any.
I'm also interested in other non-standard gum flavors. I'm not really into most of the ones around ._.
Edit: I'm stupid and on mobile pls flair as help or discussion
[Goal] passed a goal weight today & trying to resist the urge to reward myself with food.
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 105| 17.5 | gw 104 | ugw 98]
Created: Tue Jul 18 16:40:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o4cbd/passed_a_goal_weight_today_trying_to_resist_the/
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ok update i wrote this subject line and then c/s'd some pop tarts but OTHER THAN THAT.
whats a good reward for myself that isnt a one way ticket to bingetown?
[Discussion] Has anybody tried these ?
/u/xxpepperbombxx [5'9" | CW:217 | F | Weight lost: 83]
Created: Tue Jul 18 16:18:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o47xm/has_anybody_tried_these/
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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N0IPQLR?th=1
[Tip] Low-cal burritos: AKA my dinner literally four times last week
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F | 🍑: dontgivearhett 🚬]
Created: Tue Jul 18 15:54:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o42ft/lowcal_burritos_aka_my_dinner_literally_four/
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Because they're delicious! Here's what I use to make them. Makes two burritos.
2 Ole Xtreme Wellness High Fiber Low Carb Wraps (50 cal each, 100 total)
3/4 a cup of Boca Meatless Ground Crumbles (105 cal)
2 tablespoons Fat Free Sour Cream (20 cal)
2 tablespoons Reduced Fat Shredded Cheese (40 cals)
Taco Seasoning (~10 cals)
Shredded lettuce
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Cook the meatless crumbles with taco seasoning on medium heat for ~7 minutes, then throw everything into the wraps (I microwave them for ~30 seconds to soften them up before loading them up) and you'll get two burritos for 275 calories! I also throw some hot sauce and diced jalapenos in there because I'm a whore for spiciness.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 15:37:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3yf6/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/jpgbh6w47faz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I've gained 6 lbs in the past 2 months and I hate it. Xs top, size 7 bottoms. Stupid body
/u/Newbeginningtake2 [5'2" | 83 | 15.79 | 52lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 18 15:27:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3w2w/ive_gained_6_lbs_in_the_past_2_months_and_i_hate/
---
https://imgur.com/OBbpbE0
[Rant/Rave] Thanks, I Love You Too.
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Tue Jul 18 15:17:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3tv6/thanks_i_love_you_too/
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There's this guy. A decent friend, I suppose. Invited me to a barbecue next month. He's really really fat.
He's been steadily losing weight over a couple of months. He's still fat, but not as much as before.
I saw this yesterday.
So I said, "Hey, you lost weight."
And he said, "Hey, you lost hair,"
Well fuck, thanks friend.
[Goal] Almost finished with a 24-hour fast
/u/BluestNovember [5'4" | SW: 200+ lbs | CW: too high | BMI: under 40 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 15:16:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3tjn/almost_finished_with_a_24hour_fast/
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I decided last night that I'd fast starting at sundown, and I'm timing it with the Zero app. I got through my 20th hour with only sugar-free liquids and 1 cup of 4% cottage cheese. I keep gaining and it's pissing me off, seriously. I'm going to keep holding out until sundown!
[Rant/Rave] I feel disgusting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 15:14:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3t38/i_feel_disgusting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] The movie 'Feed' is out today in the US - Troian Bellisario is amazing! (no spoilers)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | 26F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 15:14:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3t00/the_movie_feed_is_out_today_in_the_us_troian/
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Troian Bellisario wrote, produced and plays the lead role in Feed. It's fucking INTENSE! Much more realistic and way better than Netflix's To the Bone. [Here](https://www.instagram.com/p/BWqtzyKhAUt/?taken-by=sleepinthegardn) are release dates for outside the US. The stream I watched it from is posted to /r/BestOfStreamingVideo ...hope everyone who wants to see it gets a chance to!
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend just sent me a tumblr post with pictures of fitness models
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 14:58:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3pak/my_boyfriend_just_sent_me_a_tumblr_post_with/
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[deleted]
[Goal] First Post!/I need to stick to 1000cals today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 14:34:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3jp1/first_posti_need_to_stick_to_1000cals_today/
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[deleted]
[Other] No equipment at-home cardio work out
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Tue Jul 18 14:30:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o3ii3/no_equipment_athome_cardio_work_out/
---
So a couple people said they'd be interested in seeing my workout routine, idk if anyone else is.
The post is pretty long but I just wanted to explain everything.
So I like this workout because it requires no equipment (except an optional yoga mat), so I don’t need to go to the gym and I can do it in my room. So it’s good for people who don’t have time or are too socially awkward to go to the gym. It’s not the most difficult workout in the world, it’s about 30 minutes long, and you get out of the work out what you put in, so if you keep your muscles tight and really push and pull against yourself you’ll be a lot sweatier than if you do the exercises lazily.
So I got most of the work out for this video by Fitness Blender. [[link]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8A6Uai5sQVw) The video is good on its own, but I edited it to be just a tiny bit more butt focused and I took out anything where I felt it in my calves because I don’t want my calves to become more bulky.
The main part of the workout is 6.5 sets and each set is made up of 2 different exercises. It is ABAB format each exercise is 35 seconds with 10 second active rests between each exercise and 15 sec. active rests between. This is explained in the video, it makes more sense if you watch it. And for the active rests I jog in place.
I use a special timer app so I don’t need the video to time me and I can watch Netflix/youtube instead, it’s called “Simple Interval Timer” for each set I set the timer like [this](http://i.imgur.com/yHHOqYi.png) and I just reset it after each set, for the warm up I set it like [this](http://i.imgur.com/OcBLhV9.png) , and for the cool down like [this](http://i.imgur.com/koWwDKX.png)
**So to start the work out I do the warm up in the video from 0:33-3:11**
**SETS:**
**SET 1)**
A. 4 side jack+ 4 punches
B.3 marches + forward kick [set 1 is the same as the fitness blender video from 3:30-6:30]
**SET 2)**
A. Crunch with a single leg drop [fitness blender @6:42]
B. Plank kick backs [[how to]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELJ-14EdAHM)
**SET 3)**
A. Standing kick backs [[how to]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqP8Q6X-iao) (I had a better video, but idk where it went)
B. Side step w/ a knee [fitness blender @10:35]
**SET 4)**
A. Plank ankle taps [fitness blender @12:55]
B. Donkey kicks (it’s **important** not to lift your thigh higher than being parallel to the ground, it’s not good for the lower spine) [[how to]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ1Xuz9D-ZQ)
**SET 5)**
A. Double high knee push
B. Lateral step pull
[set 5 is same as video from 16:10-19:07]
**SET 6)**
A. Side lunge + reach
B. 5 marches + reverse leg lift
[set 6 is same as video from 19:19-22:11]
**SET 6.5)**
A. Glute bridge [[how to]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DJ8dqzVIM4)
(you can do this as half a set like I do or add another exercise if you want)
**COOL DOWN/STRETCH**
For this it’s the same as the video from 22:20 on, but I do them for 30-35 seconds each stretch instead of 20 because I like it, I also added calves stretches at the end
*edited it to be easier to read
[Rant/Rave] Happy about my IBS?
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" | 54kg | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 18 13:06:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o2yk0/happy_about_my_ibs/
---
Was recently diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome after years of stomach issues. My parents are saying they're sorry and it will mean changes in my lifestyle. However I'm secretly delighted. I can now blame IBS when people ask why I'm not eating and it motivates me to skip meals to avoid cramps/nausea.
[Humor] Alright Google now you're just screwing with me 😕
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 12:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o2v96/alright_google_now_youre_just_screwing_with_me/
---
https://i.redd.it/rbqdrvvudeaz.jpg
[Discussion] Actual Meal Prepping? (Discussion)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | 143.8 lbs | 26.18 | -51.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 12:44:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o2t8n/actual_meal_prepping_discussion/
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I've always planned meals and caloric intake in my head, but my weeks aren't concrete. I wanted to allow myself some flexibility like, "oh I'll have a plum today instead of an apple," etc. I bought some of those bento box things on Amazon and last night made lunches and dinners for the week which will hopefully force me to eat only that. I eat everything on my plate and I feel like if I have a preportioned meal then I won't be tempted to add more to it! Has anybody else done this? I had the lunch today and it was nice, I didn't feel like grabbing anything else. It was similar to buying a prepackaged meal at a grocery store and I have a feeling that doing this will help tremendously.
[Discussion] How do you guys stop your binges?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 12:20:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o2n5t/how_do_you_guys_stop_your_binges/
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I've finally lost weight instead of 'plateauing' but now all I want to do is inhale every food substance I own.
I've set a fast timer and locked myself away with water bottles but I'm paranoid that if I have to go downstairs I'll just open the fridge and tip it into my mouth (tbh I could just eat the whole thing for convenience).
What do you guys do to stop the urge to binge?
[Help] Lost 2 lbs with my 48 hour fast but how much is water weight?
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Tue Jul 18 12:14:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o2lrq/lost_2_lbs_with_my_48_hour_fast_but_how_much_is/
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I went from 147 to 145. yay. But from y'alls experience how much of that is likely to be water weight that I'll gain back?
[Rant/Rave] (Not directly ED related) got diagnosed with a laundry list of mental health issues yesterday...
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Tue Jul 18 11:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o2brj/not_directly_ed_related_got_diagnosed_with_a/
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...And it's bizarrely validating! I feel pretty good about it, weirdly? Obviously it's not great to be like "hell yeah, I've got OCD, PTSD, depression, and panic disorder! sweet!" but it feels good knowing it's not all in my head (well like, it is all in my head? it's mental illness it's inside my brain but you know what I mean lmao i mean that it's real problems and I'm not the only one who realizes they're problems anymore). Both my therapist and psychiatrist have agreed that my ED is likely just a side effect from my other mental health problems so they aren't going to focus on that right now. They believe my restriction is a way of self harming (which is probably true, since I'm terrified of blood) and gaining control over my body after sexual assault :( Not sure how my low self esteem ties into this??? but whatever. I feel really good about this. I *want* to get better. Right now my only fear is that my new meds that I have to pick up today will make me gain weight. Also kinda upset because my psychiatrist told me I can't drink or do drugs while taking my meds (Prozac, for anyone curious) which I understand but ugh that's where most of my socialization comes from.
Long winded rant, but hey. Whatever, if you made it this far then ily.
TLDR: diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, Depression, and panic disorder but I don't have to do anything about my ED yet which is pretty nice. I wanna get better but I'm scared getting better equates to gaining weight. But oh well, I've got time to restrict for right now
[Rant/Rave] disastrous therapy session (tw: rape)
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Tue Jul 18 11:19:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o289p/disastrous_therapy_session_tw_rape/
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i just got back from my first therapy session and holy fucking SHIT. i'm going to report him but i'm so upset and i have no one to talk to right now so here's a wall of text.
so my junior year of high school i moved in with my dad because my mom is a fucking psycho and was beating me. it was bad enough that i tried to kill myself because i didn't see any other way out of that shitshow. my dad was never really present in my life because he was always working. there were a lot of times where i'd pack my things and wait for him to take me for court-ordered visitation but he never showed. i learned pretty early on not to expect anything from him, because if you don't expect anything you won't be disappointed.
there were these three guys who worked for him that hung around a lot and drank with my dad every day after they were done working. my dad was and still is an alcoholic so i was running beer a LOT. whenever i brought them more beer like my dad told me to they would give me money. after a month or so, one of them asked if i wanted to hang out with them after my dad went to bed and i said sure because i thought they were nice people. it was cool at first. they let me drink and smoke with them and they treated me like an adult.
i should have realized they were grooming me.
one night my dad had a party and invited all the guys from his work, plus some male family members. i was running beer for them when one of the people i'd been hanging out with told me that they had "something to show me". i asked what it was and he said that it was a surprise but they thought i'd like it. so because i'm a gullible idiot, i followed him out behind the cornfield, where it was dark and no one could see me anymore, and where the other two men were waiting. one of them pulled out a hunting knife and told me that if i screamed or struggled he would cut my throat.
they raped me. all three of them. and like a coward i let them do it. i didn't even try to fight back. i was sixteen and i just didn't want to die. and it wasn't just once, either. they did it every week for the better part of a year. i was a walking bruise but at least they left my face alone so my dad wouldn't ask questions. they shouldn't have bothered. i tried to tell my dad but he laughed it off and told me they were harmless and to stop making trouble for him, didn't i know it was hard enough to find workers who weren't totally strung out on pills or heroin. so it kept happening.
i told my therapist this at our first appointment today. he kept asking me really inappropriate questions, and not like "it's hard to think about but you have to in order to get through it" that i've done in therapy before. he asked me exactly what they did to me each time in detail, what they made me do to them, how i was dressed, where they touched me. if i fucking liked it.
it was a mistake. i should never have gone to therapy. i did it because i wanted to recover for the baby but now i realize it was a stupid fantasy. i'm going to carry it by myself from now on. nobody is going to help me so i will never ask for help again. i will never, ever, ever let myself be vulnerable again.
[Help] Calories from swallowing gum?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 11:18:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o27zt/calories_from_swallowing_gum/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] told myself for the past few months that im over this, and im fine. im not and im so tired, so done and i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again (tw suicide i guess fair dark shit guys)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 11:18:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o27xo/told_myself_for_the_past_few_months_that_im_over/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My mother...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jul 18 11:14:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o26v2/my_mother/
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On mobile rant rave.
"Oh my god I need to eat or i am going to pass out"
She probably ate yesterday. She is really overweight or obese at this point. Has bipolar and thyroid shit going on. I honestly can't help but laugh on the inside when someone heavier even my own mother talks about "needing to eat"
I can go a week without solid food on nothing but coffee and diet coke and work 40 hours a week walking 2 miles both ways to work. I have never passed out except when I was anemic which duh less blood means you can pass out.
Maybe it is just projecting negative feelings for myself on other people but when overweight people complain about their weight I find it hard to validate. I'm not trying to turn this into a fat people hate rant.
I just frequently find my self observing behavior because it's what I do and always concluded "so that must be why you are fat/skinny" based on how little or a lot someone eats...
End rant. My mom is crazy. I'm skipping breakfast.
Willow.
Ps. Forgot I was on my throwaway ED account and posted to r/streetwear and got roasted....fucking kill me..
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Friendship?
/u/3caratpixie [5"5.5 | 114Lbs | 18.47| -37Lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 10:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1zsl/rantrave_friendship/
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I have a friend (my only friend within a 500 mile radius) and our usual meetings consist of wine and lunch. We only see each other a couple time per month due to work and life schedules. We have been friends for a number of years and she has seen me in and out the ED/treatment/recovery cycle a few times; I have helped her through a lengthy divorce and family fallout. Equality. No judgement.
For the past year our talks have been mostly one-sided. She tells me her problems and I try to be supportive with suggestions or even just a listening ear.
We went out for lunch a few weeks ago. After about two hours of her sharing her life's problems and stresses, which I really do care about, I told her that I was kind of spiraling down again and that it was triggered by an epic fight I had had with my husband two weeks earlier. I was trying to be honest and looking for support from my friend. Her response was to kind of snort/laugh and asked if I was going to head off to the ladies room right away. I was shocked by her reaction. We have been friends since I was at my adult lowest weight of 89lbs.
I brushed it off and considered her current circumstances and l figured that my shit was minor and if I was still having issues that I would bring it up at our next meeting.
We met again yesterday. She lamented about her problems and such for most of the time again. As much as I love her and care for her as a friend, I really just wanted her to notice that I have lost 18lbs in the last month.
I picked up the tab since she isn't in the position to contribute and went home feeling a little sadder than I was before. I'm not sure if this is friendship anymore. I don't remember what its like to have another person concerned for me.
[Rant/Rave] My eating disorder is the only thing that never dissappoints me.
/u/milovsflo
Created: Tue Jul 18 10:45:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1zov/my_eating_disorder_is_the_only_thing_that_never/
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(on mobile, can't flair)
I know this sounds messed up, but really, my eating disorder is the only thing that never dissappoints me. Like yeah, sometimes I hate it, but it's the only thing that's always there for me. It's almost comforting. I'm sad? Angry? Hurt? No problem, I can always obsess over calories and forget about the rest. People keep dissappointing me, but my ed never does. It's actually making me the person I've always wanted to be.
Idk, I feel crazy.
[Thinspo] Another album
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Tue Jul 18 10:33:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1wvz/another_album/
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http://m.imgur.com/a/eFicw
[Discussion] Do you guys work out at all?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 10:31:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1wem/do_you_guys_work_out_at_all/
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[deleted]
How much cardio do you do a day?
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Tue Jul 18 10:26:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1v42/how_much_cardio_do_you_do_a_day/
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[removed]
[Help] [Help] Looking for a de-bloat diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 10:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1ryv/help_looking_for_a_debloat_diet/
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[deleted]
[Other] My first liquid fast
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Tue Jul 18 10:06:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1qag/my_first_liquid_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I know it's a terrible mindset but I love having someone to compete with.
/u/PmMeNiceGenitals
Created: Tue Jul 18 09:54:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1ncq/i_know_its_a_terrible_mindset_but_i_love_having/
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If I competing with someone in a lot more inclined to lose weight, then if It was just me trying to do it myself. I have the inspiration, I just like the competition. Terrible I know 😣
[Rant/Rave] I'm kind of hoping this kills me before my anxiety does.
/u/approximatelygone
Created: Tue Jul 18 09:49:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1m0i/im_kind_of_hoping_this_kills_me_before_my_anxiety/
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Last week turned to shit pretty quickly, so I needed to punish myself/get some strength from my superpowers. I finally stretched a week of fasting after sooo many previous breakdowns and failed attempts when I've needed to before.
My therapist has been trying to get me on a meal plan and I really have been trying to recover, but I see her this afternoon and she'll be able to tell as soon as she sees me. Part of me wants to just chug water until I bloat and maybe it won't be so obvious, but it's painful to even swallow now.
I fucking hate this. This isn't me, but idk what even is. I just want everything to stop.
[Humor] Namaste
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Tue Jul 18 09:37:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1j54/namaste/
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https://i.redd.it/j5b9o3ztedaz.jpg
[PSA] Reminders: This is not a diet/motivation sub. Please read all side bar rules before posting.
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | CW:111 | LW:106 | FAT | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 09:31:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1hqa/psa_reminders_this_is_not_a_dietmotivation_sub/
---
As we grow and gain new members, this is something that needs to be periodically discussed.
Eating disorders are sadly misunderstood in our society. Media often portrays them as the young teenage girl that wants the perfect magazine cover body, so she skips lunch or purges it in the school bathroom, continuing happily with her day. But the reality is far more complex, oftentimes dark, and serious than that image allows.
Eating disorders ARE mental illnesses, plain and simple, and they can affect all ages and genders. If you haven't already, please take a moment to check out the [proED wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/faq) and familiarize yourself with the different types of eating disorders.
We understand that some of you here may not identify as having an ED in any of it's various forms, and that's okay. We invite you to read and gain some understanding of what it's like to exist with this mental illness. We welcome you to be supportive, and we expect you to respect our rules. What we do not welcome, however, is treating this sub as a dieting and weightloss sub. We are not a source of inspiration. We are not a "get thin quick" route to your dream body. **If you read even a few of the posts here, you will see that eating disorders are often not about weight at all, but about control, self-worth, compulsion, or any other number of factors.**
There are many subs out there that can help non-disordered people make healthy choices and plans to meet their weight loss goals (and if our minds were healthy, we would be there too!). Please check the side bar for links to those subreddits. Remember, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM! **Asking for dieting tips or asking how to become disordered is not allowed, and will result in the removal of your posts and comments.**
For those of you here who DO have an ED, please also familiarize yourself with the subreddit [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/rules). Commenting on other members' weights, food, or health will result in a warning or ban. We are here to support each other, not to tear each other down or compete in any way. It may be frustrating to see users who do not understand the serious nature of EDs, but asserting that anyone is not "severe" enough or suffering enough is NOT okay either. As always, please report any posts that make you feel uncomfortable.
Again, we welcome your presence among us, disordered or not. Your awareness helps to destigmatize our illness and that's a powerful thing! But please don't fall prey to the simplified and often glamorized media portrayal of eating disorders. This is not something anyone should strive for, not something anyone should want. It is painful, both physically and mentally. It is lonely and isolating. It makes you feel powerless. We can not help you achieve what you think is perfection, because for us, nothing will EVER be perfect.
**TL;DR: This is not a diet/motivation sub. No one but your doctor can tell you if you have an eating disorder or not. If you do not experience disordered eating, and you are here to lose weight fast, this is not the sub for you.**
[Discussion] DAE have a recommendation for herb that won't give me munchies ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 09:27:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1gwa/dae_have_a_recommendation_for_herb_that_wont_give/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] What the actual fuck was I thinking? ED brain your never cease to amaze me..
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jul 18 08:46:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o17gd/what_the_actual_fuck_was_i_thinking_ed_brain_your/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
So last night after an extra long day at work I stopped by the store and took stuff home from work...
I had fries, two vegan sausages and a small bowl of mango sorbet...
The thing is the only thing I paid for was the mango sorbet which was on sale at the store and was 2 bucks.
My binge brain decides itd be a good idea to but way more fl is than I needed.
Long story short I spend almost 50 bucks on binge food and ate 2 bucks worth and now have a bunch of binge food in my kitchen.
Do I keep it around "just in case" or do I trash it? Some of it can stay good for a little bit others less than a few days.
Money is tight and I feel like an idiot for buying a ton of food I didn't want or necessarily need.
I want to through it all away and remove the temptation but I know that'd be a waste of food and money...
I don't know what to do. I binged on 2000 calories last night after a 50 hour fast and feel like I'm going to gain...i also worked 9 hours and walked 12 miles.
Willow.
[Discussion] How do you feel about To the Bone?
/u/outerspacee
Created: Tue Jul 18 08:33:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o14ih/how_do_you_feel_about_to_the_bone/
---
[removed]
[Other] Konjac/Konyaku
/u/KaliturnedSavior
Created: Tue Jul 18 08:22:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o1266/konjackonyaku/
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So I was opening a bag of Miracle Rice (0 cal) and I read the back out of boredom. It said it was made out of Konjac fibers and I remembered buying a Konjac sponge a couple of months ago then using it until it dried out. I made the connection that that is why they pack miracle noodles/rice in water and that my sponge and my "rice" were made out of the same thing.
Just an observation, though. I'm still going to eat Miracle Noodles cause they're the bomb for no cals.
Thank you. 😊 (to my lovely parents.)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 08:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o122m/thank_you_to_my_lovely_parents/
---
https://i.redd.it/ky7cp5ah1daz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] fml
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 08:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o11b7/fml/
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[deleted]
I effing hate not eating.
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Tue Jul 18 07:26:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o0qqm/i_effing_hate_not_eating/
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[removed]
[Other] D-Day
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 07:09:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o0ngm/dday/
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Well, today is finally the day I stop having to worry about if my weight dropped (I know it didn't) and get everyone off my back for a little bit. I'm kind of sick of having to talk about the food aspects of recovery. Like, I know I need to change some things, but it's seriously not what I want to care about. I think it's because I know enough about the human body that I know what I need to do, and talking it to death just makes me annoyed. It's boring.
That being said, I'm just glad that I'm getting past it, and can go back to focusing on good things. I have REALLY amazing friends, and I have to learn to truly believe I deserve them. My roommate is beyond amazing, and seriously one of my favorite humans on the planet. I have a big problem to solve but I feel good about it, again because it involves my friends. And I'm bringing my stuffed elephant to a show this weekend and my friends are all about it.
Basically, I finally think I can do recovery because I found my tribe.
[Discussion] I think I'll call for an appointment today I'm sick of this
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 06:43:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o0iki/i_think_ill_call_for_an_appointment_today_im_sick/
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...never mind I'm not actually that bad, they would laugh. Anyone fight this battle on the daily?
[Help] Can someone psych me up to go therapy?
/u/mylapfairy
Created: Tue Jul 18 06:34:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o0gwq/can_someone_psych_me_up_to_go_therapy/
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Please! I know this is not extremely important, because I'm fine most of the time.
But my anxiety is preventing me from enjoying even the most basic events like birthdays and anniversaries.
I'm surrounded by people who are telling me that I'm wasting time and money so I get only shot at this.
Please, anyone who's been here, tell me me if I'll be okay, and that therapy will help me?
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 18 06:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o0con/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_18_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 18 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o0cnn/daily_food_diary_july_18_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 18, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] brands of jeans that DONT vanity size?
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 05:33:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o06ki/brands_of_jeans_that_dont_vanity_size/
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This is obnoxious I know, I'm sorry! My therapist wants me to buy a pair of jeans(or at least try them on) that aren't vanity sized to try to help with my BDD. I tried googling it but I mainly just found a bunch of articles about people complaining, haha. Thanks in advance!
[Thinspo] 🌼 Kimiperi is so perfect
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Tue Jul 18 05:31:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6o068x/kimiperi_is_so_perfect/
---
https://i.redd.it/4ccuued47caz.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I saw the guy I used to like
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 04:42:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nzyqy/i_saw_the_guy_i_used_to_like/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] why can't i just settle
/u/7376549
Created: Tue Jul 18 04:38:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nzy44/why_cant_i_just_settle/
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i feel like i can't ever just pick a weight/type to aim for and it's SO exhausting. like i'll see someone fit & healthy and want that, or some buff athlete dude and want that. that'll last for a few months of eating more protein & working out or whatever & if it's going well i *might* even start feeling good about myself for a bit!
and then i see someone super thin. and i want that again. and i restrict again. start to feel better when i notice my weight going down.
but then before i can get super thin? it fucking flips again, i want to be fit again.
and then before i make progress on that, it flips
and then it flips
and then it flips
and because it keeps effing flipping i never make enough progress in either direction for it to be significant. it's like my subconscious times the flipping to keep me from getting anywhere. i'm in this constant middle state of being kiiiind of skinny with a liiiiittle bit of muscle but mostly kind kind of squishy and bland and i hate it so much. like i hate being average. let me be one or the other god please.
sorry, i don't really know where i'm going with this. anyone relate?
(p.s. to the bone just kicked off my latest "wanna be tiny" phase lol. i'm loving it apart from luke being annoying as hell. why are english characters in american shows so... like that 😒)
[Help] I got drunk and told my boyfriend
/u/IAmARetailRobot
Created: Tue Jul 18 04:10:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nztqd/i_got_drunk_and_told_my_boyfriend/
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I'm 5'1 and 105lbs and last night I drank five shots of alcohol, got so fucking drunk, and I told my boyfriend that I want my spine, ribs, and hipbones to show and that I want to loose 15lbs. I'm worried that when he wakes up he'll want to talk about it, what do I say?
[Other] Bonespo/THINspo Tumblrs?
/u/Fornicorn
Created: Tue Jul 18 03:55:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nzrm5/bonespothinspo_tumblrs/
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I recently made a Tumblr again for a steady stream of Thinspo but very rarely can I find Thinspo that is depicts someone thin enough to register as a goal to me. I know Tumblr tends to crack down on these sorts of blogs but does anyone know of some that post the thinner side of Thinspo?
[Rant/Rave] I am so disgusting. (NSFWish)
/u/raspberryfleur [5'6 | 117 | 18.9 | -52 | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 18 03:08:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nzlsx/i_am_so_disgusting_nsfwish/
---
Just when I thought I could not think about what's happened to me early last month. Life throws me a curveball.
I'm shaving as usual, and I find a small bump near my butt. A tiny pimple with a bit of white stuff in it. I think nothing of it. Jump to next week, I swim on wendsday and Friday I come down with what I think is a yeast infection. I go to my doctor to be safe.
Turns out there's 10 more of those little bumps on my vaginal opening/butt. I have not only a yeast infection, but fucking mollescum. The only way I could get it was from when I was assulted the previous month. Probably from when he tried to finger me. He is a wrestler, probably got it from there or whatever.
I feel so gross. Apprently people with weakened immune systems (a la me) are prone to them. It just makes me want to restrict and purge more to punish myself. They are dissapearing/crusting over, thanks to liquid nitrogen treatments and hydrogen peroxide.
While I am thankful it's nothing more serious just goddamn. I'm so ashamed of myself :( I can't talk to anyone so I just dump my feelings here.
[Rant/Rave] I'm always around too much food and I'm tired of treating my body as the trash can
/u/Profeshed
Created: Tue Jul 18 02:37:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nzhrn/im_always_around_too_much_food_and_im_tired_of/
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I'm around food, cooking food, buying food all week long for work. My house, someone else's house, no matter where I am there is always so much leftover food that at some point is going to go to waste. I try as best as I can to use up all ingredients before they go bad, but at some point it'll happen or by the end of the week a client won't have finished a dish and it's time to toss it. I always stress out about not wasting and I would snack on or eat all this excess food when I couldn't give it away, but it's not good for me. I'm having to come to terms with the fact that even though I don't like wasting, I'm just wasting myself if I don't. I can never eat the extra food in a healthy way thanks to my ed. I just force it down and overeat and feel like shit.
I need to feel that it's ok to just toss it in the bin. I'm tired of being my own fucking trash can
Diet drinks
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 18 01:48:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nzbjj/diet_drinks/
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[removed]
[Intro] I developed an ED because of ballet.
/u/perfectionistandco [5'5 | ugw: 100 | -45 lbs | F |]
Created: Tue Jul 18 01:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nz73c/i_developed_an_ed_because_of_ballet/
---
I started ballet around a year and a half ago. I have always been athletic and I've been in volleyball, track, soccer, etc. One day I saw a video on YouTube of a girl dancing ballet. She was wearing the most beautiful ivory glittering dress, and she looked so graceful and elegant and like a moving, breathing piece of art instead of a human. I wanted to be just like her. I thought I was too old to get any good, but luckily found a beginner's ballet class for girls my age, and the instructor was very positive and gave me a lot of hope. I worked so hard at it, it became my life and joy, I was obsessed with. I practiced for maybe 3-4 hours daily and gave every bit of soul and energy into it in class. But there was something I noticed going to class that I couldn't ignore.
Every girl in there was thin. I doubt there was a single girl in there over 120 lbs, except me of course. I was around 150 lbs. I had never thought of myself as fat before, I always thought of myself as average in weight, maybe a bit curvy but still slim, but I was so wrong. In that room with all of those girls, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I looked obese. Everyone was willowy and elegant and dainty. I looked stout and frumpy. It didn't matter how well I danced, it would never look right with my size. I began to notice my every detail - how huge my arms were, how fat my thighs were, the rolls on my stomach and my back, how round my face was... it was like I had a startling realization that I was not nearly as beautiful as I thought I was.
So I did something about it. I began ED behaviors that I didn't know were ED behaviors - fasting for an entire day, only eating a cup of soup and maybe a salad, limiting my calories to 500-700 cal per day. I was miserable for maybe the first week, and then a switch flipped. It became normal. I no longer craved "bad" food, I'd trained myself to recognize it as evil, a threat. I despised it. I somehow convinced myself to start feeling full after eating a small half of a sandwich when before I would still be ravenously hungry. I normalized it and told everyone I was just on a strict diet, and really believed I was. I lost 45 lbs in 3 months.
And everyone loved it. My mom congratulated me, my brothers had the nerve to say "Woah, you're not flabby anymore?", people who hadn't seen me in a while were shocked and fawning over me and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. Everyone in ballet suddenly began complimenting me and saying I'd gotten so much better in recent months... and I would smile and nod knowing my dancing didn't improve, I just lost weight and now I look like you, that's what you mean.
I pretend like I feel so great and healthy now. I tell everyone who doesn't know anything about dance that it's just ballet that made me lose weight. I tell everyone in ballet I just started eating healthier and exercising a bit. In a way I guess I'm happy, because now when I look in the mirror in class I see myself blending in with the others. I no longer feel the urge to hide myself and I guess that's having more self-confidence, because I know factually I am thin at 105 lbs. There are moments where my weight is pointed out and complimented, and I LIVE for those moments.
But it's not everything it's cracked up to be. I feel so weak. You know how people like to say to thin people a gust of wind could blow you away? Yeah, well, it's true. Right now in this moment if a gust of wind happened, I'll fall over straight onto the floor and probably pass out. I'm struggling more in class now than I did when I was 150 because I'm so tired, so weak, so brittle. I feel incompetent, useless. It infuriates me that if an attacker came up to me, I would not be able to defend myself. I'm not strong. I can't protect myself. I used to idolize thinness, now I idolize strength. I admire girls with muscles and abs, who can climb things and run really fast and jump really high and overall show off their strength and athletic ability. I want to recover so badly and get into boxing or something, but I'm so deep into this that I can't stop. I've plateaued at 105 and even though I'm eating the same absurdly small amount it took to drop to this weight, I haven't been dropping any lower. I'm afraid to eat even less for fear I'll die, but there's no way in hell I'm going to allow myself to eat more. So I'm stuck here, and I can't stop, and it sucks so much.
Well there i go again. Regret. Shame. Pain. Guilt.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jul 18 01:07:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nz665/well_there_i_go_again_regret_shame_pain_guilt/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave.
I made it 50 something hours into a fast and just binged on 2000 calories at least what I guess would be maintainence or so.
I walked 12 miles and burned 1275 calories according to the pedometer on my phone and that's not counting being on my feet for 9 and a half hours at work.
I feel like I won't gain from my binge but of course ED brain jumps to then worse conclusion.
I am in so much abdominal pain right now. Just trying to drink water. I am under doctor orders not to purge or I could cause bleeding internally or in my esophagus and laxatives are out so all I can do is sit and deal with this pain and feel awful.
Kill me.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] i hate myself lmao
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Tue Jul 18 00:38:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nz29y/i_hate_myself_lmao/
---
hi my name is blxrrysquid and i'm convinced that i'm "not sick enough" (read: "too fat") to need help for my eating disorder (even though i'm underweight), and that even if i admit to my doctor that i have an ed they'll take me off of my much-needed adderall because it suppresses my appetite, causing weight loss
[Help] I just binged 4 bran muffins. Tomorrow is my birthday. Am I in for a world of hurt?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 18 00:35:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nz1zr/i_just_binged_4_bran_muffins_tomorrow_is_my/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Reminder
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Tue Jul 18 00:04:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyxhz/reminder/
---
Weightgain isn't irreversible. No matter how much you gained in your last binge cycle, no damage has been permanently done. No matter how much you ate yesterday, no damage has been permanently done.
I know this disorder can be a bitch, and tell you that you've ruined everything, but you have not. Your body won't magically stop burning calories, just because you had one too many waffles.
Every day is a new day, and you have a whole life in front of you.
[Discussion] What music do you guys like?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Mon Jul 17 23:53:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyvuw/what_music_do_you_guys_like/
---
This isn't really ED—related, but music is a HUGE interest for me and I'd like to get to know everyone. Feel free to talk about thinspo musicians and stuff, if you please.
(Please recommend me some music too, I'll listen to anything)
[Discussion] Do any of you find it hard to make friends IRL because of your disorder?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Mon Jul 17 23:26:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyrvr/do_any_of_you_find_it_hard_to_make_friends_irl/
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Like I'm a friendly person and can carry conversations with strangers really well, but I've never in my entire life have been able to say that I have a real "best friend" or someone that I can confide in long term at least. And I feel that I'm like that because of my eating disorder. I feel as though my ed kinda acts like an imaginary friend if you will. It understands my ins and outs, something I haven't been able to find in another human being, and sometimes doubt if I ever will (as sad and pathetic as that may sound 😭).
So do any of you have the same issue here?
[Goal] Thinspo...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 23:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyp6y/thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/ne8kfsyyaaaz.jpg
[Help] Posting to avoid a binge (:
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:56:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyn1t/posting_to_avoid_a_binge/
---
I did so good restricting today, was only at 347 cals even after being forced to go to dinner with my parents. I usually get hungry at night so I just go to sleep to avoid eating more. But I have court tomorrow and I can't sleep because I'm so stressed.
The kitchen called my name and I went to find some food... really fucking wanted to dig into the banana pudding cream my dad bought today. Instead poured a cup of dry Special K and brought it up to eat slowly in my room. Still thinking about the ice cream, but hopefully posting this will make me avoid it because I'll be too embarrassed to come back and admit it.
Wish me luck!!!
[Help] I have sortof a weird question
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:45:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyl3v/i_have_sortof_a_weird_question/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I don't fit into any old clothes now!
/u/NavigationalError [5'2'' | cw/bmi: kms | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:42:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nykou/i_dont_fit_into_any_old_clothes_now/
---
This is just a lame rant/rave post because I don't fit into my old clothes now!!! I used to be so depressed because I wasn't able to fit into certain clothing. It was too small for me, but now, the clothes are too big!!
The rave part being that I lost so much weight and keep losing. (My old self was 160 at 5'2" and I hated myself so much, I'm 124.8 lbs now!!!)
The rant part is because I have little clothing that I can fit into. I may have to buy new clothes or shrink some jeans to fit. Good part is that I plan on donating the clothes to people who need it more than I do. Why are clothes so expensive? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND A PAIR OF JEANS THAT FIT
[Tip] Body fat % calculator
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:29:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyil9/body_fat_calculator/
---
https://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/body-fat-percentage-calculator
[Rant/Rave] Binged. Fml
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:07:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyevl/binged_fml/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] Hello life has been kind to me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:05:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyej6/hello_life_has_been_kind_to_me/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Protein bars as binge food
/u/ASAPfeline [5'5" | binge cycle :( | 20F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:05:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyeis/protein_bars_as_binge_food/
---
Protein bars used to be safe foods for me but now I cant have them at the house without bingeing on like 2000 calories worth of them. I think it started being a problem when I went through my keto phase and became fixated on quest bars. Now I'm gonna have to find a new portable snack. I'm thinking something less appealing since protein bars are glorified candy bars anyways. Maybe some crackers idk. Anyone else unable to control themselves around protein bars or am I alone on this one lmao
[Help] Hiding weight gain
/u/vegemiteandcheesecat
Created: Mon Jul 17 22:03:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyea8/hiding_weight_gain/
---
Hey guys not sure if this is the right place to post this (sorry if it's not) but I'm attempting recovery and really struggling with the weight gain. I'm sticking with it but was wondering what items of clothing would you recommend? It's cold here in the mornings but hot by lunchtime. Thanks ❤️
[Rant/Rave] BMI questions? Please help!!! [Rant]
/u/dainty_rosepetal
Created: Mon Jul 17 21:45:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nyb12/bmi_questions_please_help_rant/
---
Okay so I just got back from a yearly checkup and I got my BMI done ACCURATELY FINALLY (it's so hard to tell if you're measuring accurately) and it was 18.6.
I was like wow not bad, it's "healthy" enough to please the doctor (cause 18.5
But, then under that it said I was only in the 25th BMI percentile for my age????? I'm pretty confident that means that 25 PERCENT OF PEOPLE MY HEIGHT AND AGE WEIGH LESS THAN ME???? Like what the fuck I thought 67% of America was overweight no? Surely that many people can't be underweight no?
So I did some googling because that didn't seem right and found out for MY AGE a "healthy" BMI is from 16.5-24????
SO I'M NOT EVEN ON THE VERGE OF UNDERWEIGHT (LIKE I THOUGHT), IM NOT EVEN FUCKING CLOSE IM RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
Right now I'm so shocked my whole life is a lie. Am I missing something here or am I just as fat as I think I am??? Please advise.
Edit- [the chart that started it all](https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-e457f30897dfa0175df29777d79ae60a-c)
[Rant/Rave] Suicide: update.
/u/Torkmentor
Created: Mon Jul 17 21:27:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ny7wc/suicide_update/
---
Hi guys, old post is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iv19l/suicide/) or tldr: life is a pointless annoying chore, wanna end it soon.
**Note**: might be triggering, also I'm pretty much agnostic, sorry if something I write is offensive, not my intention. And don't worry, won't kill myself at least for a few months maybe.
I finally went to see a psychiatrist. Not to talk about my ED but my desire to die.
He basically told me that he agrees with me, life is indeed pointless (unless you're religious maybe) but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, that you can find a reason (aka a distraction) to make it worthwhile. And yea, then we die.
He recommended a therapist but admitted that I am being realistic so a therapist may help me find something that makes me want to live life but yea, that's that. Also told me that he could give me an antidepressant but that it prob wouldn't make me change the way I see life, just maybe make me a bit numb and happish... so to try first with a therapist.
I'll make the appointment... since I'm alive for now let's try I guess. But honestly? I'm starting to feel OK with the idea of suicide, living is overrated. Maybe the whole stigma around suicide is wrong, maybe the sanest thing a human being could do is commit suicide. Tbh, I'm not very fond of having to kill myself, I want to die but I don't wanna kill myself if that makes sense... but I still feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, like I'm justified now. No reason to live for and that's fine. Let's just end it. I've experienced life.
Enough.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Jul 17 20:59:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ny2qv/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/yfosh2zon9az.jpg
[Help] How can I use my lowered motivation to my advantage?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 20:14:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxui2/how_can_i_use_my_lowered_motivation_to_my/
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Hey so over the past year, my motivation to diet/restrict is diminishing. I'm finding it a lot easier to binge, which is a problem. On the other hand, I'm finding it a lot easier to eat without making foods forbidden (which is good? bad? idk).
So, overall, I'm becoming less anxious about eating. But I've gained weight and I'm still gaining weight. Is there any way I can use this to my advantage or do I have to find more willpower again?
[Intro] I think I might have orthorexia, maybe?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 20:07:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxt5l/i_think_i_might_have_orthorexia_maybe/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] 30 cal binge
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Mon Jul 17 19:53:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxqex/30_cal_binge/
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God bless snack pack sugar free jello cups that clock in at five calories apiece. I was a little disappointed just because I wanted to be done eating for the day and then I fucking remembered that normal binges for me are like 1300 calories and that I'm still under my daily goal and told my crazy ass to calm down lol. Plus I didn't even eat all two packs, go me.
10/10 would recommend for helping the urge to binge. You get the satisfaction of eating a lot of something sweet without putting away any major calories.
[Discussion] Encouraging others to eat to avoid future eating?
/u/janesavage [170 cm | nope kg | 55 kg | 18F ]
Created: Mon Jul 17 19:42:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxo5l/encouraging_others_to_eat_to_avoid_future_eating/
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Anyone else do this? If we've got dessert or enough of a meal for second helpings, I'll suggest to my family members that they take more or finish it (so I'll not have it later myself).
[Rant/Rave] I binged for the first time this month but I can't even purge it bc I'm recovering from wisdom teeth removal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 19:20:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxk3e/i_binged_for_the_first_time_this_month_but_i_cant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Oh, the extended family...
/u/totalbabes [5'0 | CW: 90 lbs | BMI 17.6 | Weight Lost: 24 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 19:16:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxj9r/rant_oh_the_extended_family/
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Hearing my grandmother say "I NEVER see you eat hardly anything!" and then my aunt following up with "looks like she scarfed that lunch down alright!" is dizzying.
Visiting family this summer and they aren't the most... subtle people. They don't know anything about my ED probs, so they don't know any better (not close with them, not really a comfortable topic). But good lord.
[Rant/Rave] Friend denies ED, tries to sabotage me??
/u/doses_and_neuroses
Created: Mon Jul 17 19:09:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxht5/friend_denies_ed_tries_to_sabotage_me/
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My friend has lost like 55 lbs in a pretty short amount of time and looks amazing (and is now underweight). She claims it's just inadvertent and she doesn't know how it happened and that she eats 'so much' but I just spent the past 3 days with her and she ate 800 calories/day AT MOST while going on and on about how much she ate to me and others. And she straight up lied to my face about her eating. She uses food allergies as an excuse to never eat but to be honest I don't even think she has those allergies.
Also she figured out I have disordered eating (b/p and restricting) and she tried to tell me to just stop losing but now I realize it wasn't out of good will, she just doesn't want me to get skinnier or as skinny as her. And she actively encouraged me (like very strongly encouraged me) to eat a lot when I was high which in retrospect seems almost like sabotage.
I understand her being secretive but it just sucks because I admitted to her my eating problems and really opened up but she refuses to admit to me ANY problem at all even though it's so fucking obvious.
The worst thing is if she just admitted to it we could totally keep each other accountable and be like restriction buddies :(
[Rant/Rave] The irony of recovery
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Mon Jul 17 19:04:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxgut/the_irony_of_recovery/
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Skip to the bottom for the kinda funny irony
Background: Recently started recovery on my own. I relapsed hard this last year and went down to the very bottom. Lost a ton of weight, stopped getting my period, fasted and lax purged, the whole nine yards.
Got to a low, bordering on scary weight, decided to maintain. Went swimmingly.
Started working out a lot and eating cleanly, decided to recover because if I build muscle and not fat I'm much less terrified. I work out a LOT, so my TDEE is 1700. Decided to eat 1800 of high protein clean food. Low fat low carb (okay, it's recover-ISH)
For Fucks sake why is it so hard to eat 1800 calories?!?!?!??
As someone w a BP history and binge restrict tendencies...I can fucking EAT. And although I'm TERRIFIED of it, I do like eating.
But god damn it has never in my life been so hard to eat.
It's just a little funny and a little bittersweet.
(Not to say I couldn't eat 1800 cal of pastries cuz I totally could, but 1800 cal of fruit veg and lean meat is a massive amount of volume)
[Intro] First post -- I'm on such a high right now!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 18:51:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxe83/first_post_im_on_such_a_high_right_now/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "Oh I just don't like the crusts" *actually just can't bare eating full pieces of bread*
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 18:49:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nxdui/oh_i_just_dont_like_the_crusts_actually_just_cant/
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https://i.redd.it/an7hbiij09az.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Going to dinner, trying not to freak out
/u/eurydiicce
Created: Mon Jul 17 17:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nx2ru/going_to_dinner_trying_not_to_freak_out/
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I'm going to dinner tonight with a girl from school. I just started college and am trying to make friends but it's so hard to go out and do normal stuff like this. I'm at +470 for food today, -200 for exercise. Normally I would not eat and save my calories for going out with friends but I wasn't planning on this for tonight. If we were getting anything but burgers it would be fine because I could just fake it, but there's no way to hide if you've eaten that. I'm just so stressed out. I want to have fun but it's so hard being held back by this :-/
[Goal] Done with my first ever 24 hour fast. Gonna see how long I can go.
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Mon Jul 17 17:47:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nx16r/done_with_my_first_ever_24_hour_fast_gonna_see/
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Sorry I post here so much but ever since I've found this community I just love venting and commenting on yalls posts and hearing everyone's advice and stories!!!
anyway, I've probably gone 24 hours without eating before but never purposefully like this. All I've had since this time last night is black coffee and pseudoephedrine (my version of an EC stack since I have bottles of pure pseudo.)
I actually feel so amazing and good, I'm not even hungry... Saw stars while just sitting in a chair but that's the only thing.
I really want to make it to 3 days and see how much weight I lose. the only reason I might have to stop is if friends/family notice and I can't come up with a good excuse or something. But we'll see how it goes 😊
[Thinspo] Netflix thinspo
/u/prettypleaser
Created: Mon Jul 17 17:41:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nx03w/netflix_thinspo/
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Has anyone watched "Friends from College"?
It's a new Netflix show with Keegan-Michael Key (from Key & Peele). The casual thinspo is driving me nuts, especially in episode 3. I made a bunch of shitty screen caps to show y'all, but it doesn't really capture how good they look in motion.
I'm obsessed with Nick's gf's arms. Her elbow is literally the smallest part of her arm. She basically can wrap her hand around her upper arm.
If anyone can get me the actress's name I'd appreciate it, I'm having trouble finding it.
The lady in the Valentino dress is so thin that her chest bones are obvious even in bad lighting. I could drink broth out of her collarbones, they're so prominent. In the show she's super classy, successful, and dresses like a fucking queen. Not the best role model with character flaws, but she is such goals.
No one has been talking about it, and I just needed to gush about these actresses!
https://imgur.com/a/ZkQ7L
[Discussion] To break fast or not to break fast
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 17:40:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwzwi/to_break_fast_or_not_to_break_fast/
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I've been fasting for 24 hours and 55 minutes. I can break it now but if I don't then I'll have to go to 48 hours because I can't break it during the day.
Anyone else have these stupid rules? I can only eat from 6-8 pm daily and so I've got twenty minutes to decide
[Rant/Rave] I like following recovery accounts on IG
/u/saede_art [173cm | CW 60 | BMI 19.81 |]
Created: Mon Jul 17 17:32:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwy2x/i_like_following_recovery_accounts_on_ig/
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I love following recovery accounts on IG, I feel like they're motivating and sometimes, I even consider recovery for myself.
But when I see before/after pictures, I feel bad for them. My first thought is ''they were so skinny, they must feel so huge now'' (or some variation of it) and ''I wish I were at their before weight''. I don't even think they got fat, I just feel bad for them for gaining weight, if it makes any sense.
It's just a proof for me that maybe I'm not ready to recover yet...
(does anybody else do that?)
[Thinspo] My ultimate auditory and optical thinspo... Check out Julien Baker's music. I listen to her every day.
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 17:17:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwv0c/my_ultimate_auditory_and_optical_thinspo_check/
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https://i.redd.it/gpxbpfuwj8az.jpg
[Rant/Rave] pointed and laughed at by kids on the street
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 17 17:02:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwrvw/pointed_and_laughed_at_by_kids_on_the_street/
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On mobile, please flair as rant.
See title. Not sure why these things happen to me and seemingly not to anyone else--my friends are mostly a fair few tiers more attractive than I am, but I can't find anyone else who's consistently taken the same kind of shit about weight.
From my ex in high school warning me not to eat pizza to my mother exclaiming "You're so thin!" in delight when I was hospitalized (drugged to the gills on 4x my normal antipsychotic dose)--to a Starbucks barista telling me my skinny drink order "still isn't exactly slimming--"
For the record, I've never weighed over 135 pounds in my life, and I'm embarrassed to type that number because it seems cartoonishly high.
Part of me fucking resents attractive people. In my experience they're all like that. Part of me would kill to be one of them.
No matter what I accomplish, no one's gonna see past my ugly wrapper. No one's gonna look at me and think anything but "this guy doesn't have the self-control to stop lifting pies to his mouth."
[Help] How do you guys get rid of bloat?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Mon Jul 17 16:42:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwnm5/how_do_you_guys_get_rid_of_bloat/
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I am super bloated right now just because the cals i have eaten today are super fiber-rich. Are there any tips you guys could tell me that would help me get my stomach flat again? 😩
[Rant/Rave] I am literally ew (TW!)
/u/l0seme [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.58 | -20 | UGW 110 | 21F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 16:42:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwni9/i_am_literally_ew_tw/
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Mods pls tag as rant?
I go on holiday to America in a few days
I wanted to be 120lbs
Failing that, 125lbs
I am actually 128lbs
I feel so disgusting
Found out that my ultimate thinspo wishes she looks like someone else (isn't that always the way??) idk it just made me feel really inadequate
Purged sober for the first time
Think I'm going to have to purge after every holiday meal to stay reasonably little
But everyone says purging doesn't work
Idk I'm lost and I'm in such such mental pain
[Discussion] DAE just have zero desire for romantic relationships?
/u/SatansFaveCat
Created: Mon Jul 17 16:34:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwlsp/dae_just_have_zero_desire_for_romantic/
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I've struggled with my ED since I was 14, so I've never dated. I've had plenty of crushes but I literally just have no desire for an actual SO. It seems like food is such a big part of relationships and I don't want to go to the effort of hiding it. And I don't know how I can become so important for someone else while I might fall apart at any moment. It's strange to hear my friends all talking about their boyfriends/crushes so energetically when I have no motivation for that. Some people have asked if I'm gay or asexual lol. Does anybody else feel like this? I don't wanna be the only single one
edit: I was lying in bed last night and realized the other part is that I'm just totally clueless about how to interact with crushes. What is flirting?? lol
[Discussion] British Fat People Shows, as I call them. Any recommendations?
/u/canikeepit [5'4" | 147 | BMI25 | -73 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 16:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwi6u/british_fat_people_shows_as_i_call_them_any/
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So, I love British Fat People shows. I love Fat Families, Supersize vs. Super Skinny, Fat Doctors (or "Fat Surgeons"). But I think I've watched all of them, every season, on YouTube. Does anyone have more to add to my list that I can watch instead of binging on Hershey's?
[Help] Boobs?
/u/zarnaah [5'6 | 153 | 24.92 | -32lbs | female]
Created: Mon Jul 17 16:11:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwgwu/boobs/
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Hey sorry for the weird title but I'm kinda having a meltdown
With heavy restriction/fast weight loss I'm sure a lot of us who have boobs have noticed differences in boob size. Recently, mine kinda disappeared overnight, despite being on the high end of 'healthy' bmi?? Like they used to be pretty big and now I feel so unfeminine and like I want to continue losing weight but I want my boobs back.
Has anyone "lost" their boobs but then lost fat in areas like their torso/back and gone back to a chest to waist ratio that they were familiar with? Like, is it possible that I lost boob fat but will lose waist fat if I continue with weight loss and my boobs will look relatively big again?
Sorry this post is a mess and I'm flairing as help because I don't know what to do I feel like I lost the one thing I liked about myself and am going insane
[Rant/Rave] BMI rant
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 16:09:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwgl0/bmi_rant/
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I have been doing 500 cals a day with cardio and other exercise, lost like 4.6 lbs, which I was so proud of, but then when I went to go do my BMI so I can update my thingy for this sub (it's super old) I realized how high it was. I've never been this high or this heavy. I'm so happy to not have someone looking over my shoulder anymore, even if I miss my ex like crazy, but my weight was out of control. Thank god I'm getting myself back together, even if I have to do it alone. I'm so disgusted with myself.
(19.28 if anyone's wondering)
[Discussion] Amazon food list
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:44:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nwaqe/amazon_food_list/
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This is my list of favorite foods to buy from Amazon. Most of this is for Amazon Pantry, but you get free shipping with 5 qualified items. Shipping is normally $5.99/box and some of the qualifying items are at/around $1 each. They change pretty often, and you can get some decent deals. Like there's a bunch of [Nestea](https://www.amazon.com/NESTEA-Iced-Tea-Rooibos-18-5-Ounce/dp/B06WLL9KPZ/ref=pd_sim_467_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B06WLL9KPZ&pd_rd_r=BWEZKVDH54R0WX4JHN2E&pd_rd_w=BuFwW&pd_rd_wg=Rvxs1&psc=1&refRID=BWEZKVDH54R0WX4JHN2E) 18oz bottles around $1 each that qualify right now. So you could get 5 of those and have free shipping on your box for about the same cost as just paying for the shipping.
[Oat Fiber](https://www.amazon.com/NuNaturals-NuGrains-Oat-Fiber/dp/B00IV6JPSS/ref=sr_1_5_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1500325421&sr=1-5&keywords=oat+fiber) $9/lb and "zero" calories. This shit is more amazing than I could have hoped for. I use it to make mug cupcakes, though I'm still working out a good recipe.
[Puffed Corn](https://www.amazon.com/Arrowhead-Mills-Puffed-Cereal-Ounce/dp/B00ZKUOWEU/ref=sr_1_3_s_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1500325509&sr=1-3&keywords=puffed+corn) $1.50 for 6oz. 60cal per cup (1/2oz). It's got a harder texture than just air-popped popcorn so it takes more work to eat. Super filling and satisfying.
[Special K Cinnamon Pecan Cereal](https://www.amazon.com/Special-Kelloggs-Cereal-Cinnamon-Pecan/dp/B01FE3T2O2/ref=sr_1_1?srs=7301146011&ie=UTF8&qid=1500325619&sr=8-1&keywords=special+k+cinnamon+pecan) $4 for 18oz 110cal per 3/4cup (1oz). This stuff is so delicious. I like to eat it dry piece by piece so it takes a while.
[Quaker Popped Rice Crips Sweet Snack Mix](https://www.amazon.com/Quaker-Popped-Crips-Snacks-Gluten/dp/B06X195JK3/ref=sr_1_2?srs=7301146011&ie=UTF8&qid=1500325746&sr=8-2&keywords=quaker+popped) $4 for 8 bags at 100cal each. Kind of overpriced for the volume you're getting (there's like 10-12 crisps per bag), but it's a handy snack to have around.
[Oh My Spice Birthday Cake Protein Blend](https://www.amazon.com/Oh-My-Spice-Gluten-Free-Paleo-Friendly/dp/B06XC9G5S3/ref=sr_1_10_s_it?s=hpc&rps=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1500326575&sr=1-10&keywords=protein%2Bpowder&refinements=p_36%3A1253518011%2Cp_85%3A2470955011&th=1) $8 for 4oz. 20cal per 1/2 tablespoon. I haven't actually tried this yet, but it's going in my next order.
[Freeze-Dried Fruit](https://www.amazon.com/Natierra-Natures-Freeze-Tropical-Fruits/dp/B06ZYSD1L9/ref=sr_1_18_s_it?rps=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1500327301&sr=1-18&keywords=freeze+dried+fruit&refinements=p_85%3A2470955011) $5 for 1.5oz. Roughly 160cal for the entire bag. Bunch of other varieties available and this brand has a 20% off coupon right now.
[Tea Bags](https://www.amazon.com/Lipton-Black-Bags-Americas-Favorite/dp/B00286KM8E/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1500327517&sr=1-4&keywords=tea+bag) $7 for 312 bags. I drink a lot of tea. A LOT OF TEA.
[Single-serve coffee creamers](https://www.amazon.com/International-Delight-Single-Serve-Creamers-Non-Dairy/dp/B01B4LG6V0/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?rps=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1500327596&sr=1-1&keywords=single+serve+creamer&refinements=p_85%3A2470955011) $1.15 for 24. 30cal each.
[Rant/Rave] "haha I forgot to eat" like can you not?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:34:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nw8ka/haha_i_forgot_to_eat_like_can_you_not/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm an idiot
/u/sibr
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:28:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nw74k/im_an_idiot/
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So I need to "break up" with my FWB. I need to break up with him because I want more than a FWB relationship + he doesn't, I get upset at even the thought of him talking to other girls even though he's perfectly within his rights to do so, and because he's shredded my self esteem to pieces in the year I've been "with" him with his own dieting and his lusting after small/waifish girls (which trust me I am not). I feel as though he's constantly on the lookout for someone thinner and prettier than me and that I'm his last resort. I am an emotional mess because of him.
So WHY am I finding this so hard???? The only reason I'm writing this all out is to procrastinate from sending him the initial message for this discussion we need to have. He's not good to me in the slightest.
I don't consider myself desirable enough to find someone new anytime soon (even for just another casual hookup thing) but I guess things have got bad enough to the point where I'd rather be alone forever than go through the emotional bullshit this situation has caused me.
Ugh, why am I such an emotional wreck. I wish I could care less about making myself be good enough for him even though I KNOW he's a douche. I feel like me caring too much also makes me even less attractive to him. But then if I eat 300-500 calories for the next few months my brain is telling me that I WILL be good enough, anything else wrong with me would be ignored if I was skinny. Screw this.
[Rant/Rave] Today, I found out a coworker has been actively making fun of my body this entire summer. I've been crying for the five hours I've known and I can't stop. Can someone please comfort me?
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:27:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nw6ur/today_i_found_out_a_coworker_has_been_actively/
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So backstory: the past few months, I have gone through a lot of stress and gained a ton of weight. I've had an eating disorder for as long as I remember, so this has been terrible for me. I've been constantly restricting, bingeing, and purging to the point where I've taken over 20 days of sick days this summer for work because I was physically unable to go (I work a labor job). For example, drinking water hurts my throats right now from purging so often, and I often have mini black outs in the heat at work since I garden for my living right now.
I am currently taking a two week break because I've been in and out of the hospital, I needed the time to figure everything out with my new eating disorder specialist, psychiatrist, and therapist. I didn't need work to distract me.
Today I woke up promising myself I would be healthy today, eat 1,500 calories, and exercise. And I felt really happy with my body for the first time in MONTHS, even with the weight gain, so I wore an outfit that wasn't a sweatshirt with leggings. A sweatshirt has been my go to this ENTIRE summer because I'm so scared of showing how fat I've gotten to people. I ended up picking an outfit that my best friend Nicole is known for at our small college, and I posted a picture of it to joke around with people who know both of us.
This is what I posted: https://imgur.com/a/TnndJ. I purposely pulled my shirt all the way up so there is no cleavage. I don't even fucking care if someone I know finds my reddit username through this picture, I'm so upset and I need to tell you guys this story.
Three hours later, I receive text messages from people at work telling me to remove A from my social media because she's going around showing my body to everyone and making fun of it. Making fun of my body shape, my pose, and what I'm wearing. Apparently this wasn't the first time either. She's been doing it all summer. Every time I've posted a picture of myself where you can see the definition of my body, she has gone around showing people during our lunch break making fun of me.
The worst part is that she's this super pretty, skinny, tall girl... so I feel like the stuff she is saying is validated. She's basically making fun of me for being fat. I feel like all the therapy I've gotten in 2017 for my eating problems just went down the drain.
She doesn't know I have eating issues. But a lot of people suspect. I've been working here for two years and have eaten lunch maybe twice. I refuse food offered to me. I bring donuts and cupcakes and give them out but I never eat them myself.
I just can't believe this. I called my supervisor crying and told him I am quitting. I can't believe someone is doing this to me. It's as if every single shitty thought I had about myself due to eating/body issues has just become true. It's not just me who thinks it anymore. It's not "just in my head".
Today just proved to me that what my therapists tell me, that all my insecurities are not real, is a lie. This is reality.
I want to kill myself. I went out and drank four cups of coffee and smoked 15 cigarettes to try to comfort myself but I am still bawling and hyperventilating. I can't believe this. I can't believe I've worked so hard to try to love myself and this happens to me. I can't believe this, guys. Kill me.
*Edit: Thank you guys so much. Every comment means a lot to me. I am going to keep this up and come here when I feel down and reread all of them. Thank youuuu thank you thank you
[Rant/Rave] Secret restriction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:25:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nw6jp/secret_restriction/
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[deleted]
[Help] Today I posted pictures of my outfit onto my Snapchat story and found out my coworker has been sharing photos of my body and making fun of me for this entire summer. Please help me, I've been bawling for five hours
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:25:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nw6f6/today_i_posted_pictures_of_my_outfit_onto_my/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Where else do you guys go for support or distractions?
/u/attenuatingpixie [5'7 | CW 125 | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nw3q0/where_else_do_you_guys_go_for_support_or/
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Or advice. Idk. I'm just sort of curious about everyone else's other areas of Reddit or the World Wide Web in general are, I suppose. I'm struggling with some things right now and I guess I don't particularly want or need advice, I just am curious about the other support or distraction places you guys go to.
[Rant/Rave] It's the little things.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 17 15:00:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nw0gb/its_the_little_things/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave.
I went thrift store shopping before work and found two pairs of jeans that don't look like shit. They are skinny jeans and have some elastane I'm their mix but still a small victory. They are a smaller size than I though and I guess it made my day
Also took a long walk before work and have almost 20k steps before work and according to my phone I burned like 900 calories.
Also it's my friday from work so I have two days off after this and I may have decided what career path i want to take.
Today isn't a complete shitshow so far.
Willow
[Discussion] Are there any blatantly pro-ED instagrams?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:53:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvyum/are_there_any_blatantly_proed_instagrams/
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Humor an old lady who's new to instagram....do they allow any openly pro-ed content?
[Discussion] Anyone else get jealous at how easily people without ed's relate to each other?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:52:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvyll/anyone_else_get_jealous_at_how_easily_people/
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I feel like a lot of my friends bond over being overweight/loving food. I'm just here like..... "Haha doughnuts are cool, but have you ever tried putting mustard on carrots? A little snack I like to call Flavortown."
[Rant/Rave] "I remember when I didn't eat because we couldn't afford food."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:49:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvxus/i_remember_when_i_didnt_eat_because_we_couldnt/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else watch teen mom?
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:47:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvxfc/anyone_else_watch_teen_mom/
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I know this is not related. But I consider you all my friends. I can't wait to watch it tonight!! Anyone want to have a thread going on the show?
[Discussion] How I Hide in Plain Sight (heavy socio-political topic)
/u/whittlebone
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:36:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvurr/how_i_hide_in_plain_sight_heavy_sociopolitical/
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So this is my third ED relapse. I have lived in three different cities with three different friend groups each time so there is no one who knows me long enough to spot the triggers.
No one noticed for such a long time with the first one, no one noticed during the second one even though that was my biggest loss and I went from 180 to 135 at 6 feet tall (current GW). Now I am at 195 and I am racing all the way back to that 135. I've lost 25 pounds in less than a month and while people can notice I'm "on a diet," my cover isn't blown.
So I'm Black. I grew up in a very traditional West Indian family and lived in the Caribbean in my adolescence and teen years, where I began to have disordered eating around stress to the point it landed me with ulcers in the hospital when I was 11. Of course the solution I was given in that instance was a religious one. In Black families EDs don't seem to exist which is all well and good for me because I can continue my machinations and schemes relatively unencumbered. But it just baffles me that I've had this going on for over a decade and the only person that ever caught on (2nd time around) was because my friend caught me puking in the bathroom and forced me to go to the HS counsellor, who I then had to tell I had an eating disorder as though it wasn't quite obvious. Even now, when I tell my mom I'm losing weight (and she knows about it because bet the HS counsellor told my mom) she just commends me and behaves like a convenient amnesiac about any possible problem my weight loss could symbolize.
Do you find that you all are able to use things like your class, your race, your gender, your sex or other sociological factors to, well.... hide? No one is ever gonna catch me in this because I am Black. There have been numerous interesting studies that therapists almost never suspect AA clients presenting with ED symptoms.
I only ask because today I was modelling about in front of the mirror and trying to develop my work out plans for the week to target problem areas and The Voice of Disintegrating Rationality™ (lol y'all know the one) tried to say "What if someone notices!!!1!" and I just scoffed and told her to go away 😂
After all, no one has, right?
(Edit for grammar 💕)
[Rant/Rave] My hair is falling out AFTER I've increased my calories.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:29:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvt80/my_hair_is_falling_out_after_ive_increased_my/
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I've been low restricting consistently for three months, but have been slowly increasing my calories for the last few weeks. I average around 700 a day now (up from 200-300 a day before), and my hair is *just now* starting to fall out in clumps. This is such bullshit. I'm trying to be healthier, and this is how my body repays me?
[Intro] My intro + a short story of a repressed memory
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:19:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvqr4/my_intro_a_short_story_of_a_repressed_memory/
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[deleted]
[Other] What other disorders do you suffer from?
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Mon Jul 17 14:15:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nvpxd/what_other_disorders_do_you_suffer_from/
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For example I'm bipolar. I manage it pretty well at the moment. I also had a drinking problem from my bipolar, but I'm 8 months clean.
[Other] Fiber filled binge, my god
/u/Castoroilexperiment [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Mon Jul 17 13:09:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nv9rn/fiber_filled_binge_my_god/
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Yesterday I ate a sleeve (half a box) of fiber One Cereal, a whole cabbage, a can of beets, a pound of baby carrots. Oh, and like 1.5 pounds of frozen grapes
My belly and my butt :(
[Discussion] About to start taking Ambien
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Mon Jul 17 13:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nv866/about_to_start_taking_ambien/
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So as the title says I'm starting Ambien tonight in hopes of helping me sleep. I've gone through a lot of sleeping meds so this is the next strongest one. I've also noticed a handful of people here take it or have taken it before. I would just like to hear what you think of it. Does it effect your appetite or weight or anything you've noticed while taking it? Any information or personal experiences would be great to hear, thanks!
[Rant/Rave] Entire day is ruined
/u/philaenopsis [5'4" | CW:150 | GW:115 | LW:105 | HW:165 | 21F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:48:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nv4i7/entire_day_is_ruined/
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So I never eat breakfast, for good reason. Because I am uncontrollable after breakfast. So I had a healthy breakfast of 200 cals today, then decided I would eat a snack after I got home from work and a small dinner. Well, my friend informed me that pizza hut was doing a 50% off online orders deal and there's a pizza hut near my work. I wasn't even that hungry, but a personal pan pizza was $3, so I figured I could have that and still have my light dinner. No idea why I did this, as I wasn't even very hungry at the time - guess I just wanted pizza. I looked up the calorie counts and ordered a pizza. 170 calories for half a pizza, great. So I go ahead and order the pizza, then inhale it on the car ride back to work.
When I go to enter the calories into LoseIt, I realize that it's 170 cals for a quarter of a pizza, not half. So now I've consumed twice as many calories as I thought I did, meaning I have no calories left for the rest of the day. And somehow I'm hungrier now than I was before I ate the pizza. I just popped an EC stack, hopefully it gets better. Plus I'm all bloated from my period like I seriously look pregnant, and now I'm sitting at my desk sulking with my pants unbuttoned because buttoning them is uncomfortable. Also I have heartburn now and no tums.
[Goal] Beginning of a shoulder nub!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:40:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nv2ny/beginning_of_a_shoulder_nub/
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http://imgur.com/Xl6bc4i
[Other] Combination post because I'd be blowing up the sub today otherwise
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:39:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nv2bt/combination_post_because_id_be_blowing_up_the_sub/
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So I'm going to combine all the shit I wanna post into one overarching, multi-category post!
#RANT/RAVE
(Mostly rave tho)
I went on a mini road trip to New England with my best friend this weekend, and we went on a "hike" with a childhood friend of hers in Maine (hike is called Wolfe's Neck in Freeport ME, it's shit for an actual hike, but fucking beautiful for a nature walk. Can send more pics of hike if you're interested) and we took a lot of pics and I was super nervous because I always look like shit in pictures and I was wearing leggings (I don't usually wear tight things) [BUT I DIDNT ACTUALLY HATE HOW MY LEGS LOOKED???](https://imgur.com/LIn1ATi) granted theyre still pretty meh and my fattest part was covered by my shirt, but holy cow I'm actually not upset after looking thru pictures for once!!! Yay!!!
#Question
I'm looking for the perfect pair of loose boyfriend jeans (see [Pinterest board](http://pin.it/eCbQLqx) ) and I just can't seem to find any that are loose enough on the legs (think like guy jeans) but aren't too big in the waist. Any recommendations?
That's all for now folks.
[Rant/Rave] My roommates both torture and motivate me every day
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:33:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nv0zi/my_roommates_both_torture_and_motivate_me_every/
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Tl;dr just wanted to rant about my roommates eating habits and provide unnecessary commentary on their bodies because I'm the only fucking crazy person that pays attention to that shit but I also crave more validation for my efforts which I probably won't get until I'm too skinny for normalcy which fine what the fuck ever honestly dont even read this is a mess
So I live with three dudes, two are friends and one is my SO. My SO is hella skinny, always has been and probably always will be. He's very tall and lanky, so his tdee is literally like nearing 3000 calories (lucky bitch) and he's never been able to really put on weight so whatever genetic lottery goes to him.
My roommates (and ofc me), however, are not so lucky. Blonde Korean (BK) was pretty thin growing up because he was athletic and jumpy and hyper. He joined the marines straight out of high school and bulked up in muscle so he was pretty ripped at one point. He got out of the marines over a year ago, though, and civilian life has not been kind to his bod (in more ways than one bcuz dudes hygiene is the fucking worst I stg do not get me started). He's got a bit of a beer gut going on, but he still tries to run a few miles a couple times a week. Doesn't matter though, because he drinks beer and eats pizza and fast food like nobody's fuckin business. When he first got back he could barely finish one combo meal, but now he scarfs that shit down &I retreats to the kitchen for more snacks. He's still not particularly "fat," but it's gonna catch up to him realll soon and he knows it. He even commented he felt he was getting really fat and wasn't happy with his body, BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY GOT UP AND ATE THREE SLICES OF LEFTOVER PIZZA from the fridge. The cognitive dissonance here is astonishing tbh.
Roommate #2, or J, is a different story entirely. He was our first roommate, I've known him just over 4 years. He was chubby in middle school, thinned out from athletics in high school, got an injury and puffed back up, then yo-yo'ed between normal and a lil overweight after HS. But now he's pretty overweight. He feels like we have a special connection because neither of us were particularly skinny without effort growing up. Like SO and BK were. But I fucking hate that. I dont want camaraderie with someone who ALSO orders pizza every week and has it for breakfast and lunch and then goes to a burger joint for dinner afterwards, but turns around to me and gives like the "Us fatties always eating amirite???" NO YOU ARE NOT RIGHT. I AM NOT YOU. I may still be fat, medically overweight technically, but I am NOT you. I do not shovel food in my mouth 24/7, I punish myself from it. I do NOT eat pizza for 2/3rds of my meals, I usually only have ONE MEAL and it's under 300 calories. And he's always like hey let's try a low carb diet together, let's do the apple cider vinegar thing, lets only eat carrots. And I'm like nah I'm cool I got my calorie counting thing (cough~~restriction~~cough) it's working p well.
He said something about how I look like I dropped a few lbs (haha ok 40+ lbs is a few that's fine that's cool) and asked what I did and I wanted to grab his dumb face and shake him and go STOPPED SHOVELING MY GULLET FULL OF PIZZA AND LIQUOR but that would be mean probably right??
Meanwhile my SO has barely BARELY noticed (I've posted about this before I said I was over it but was I really, the answer is no lmao) he said oh yah your face is a little slimmer and your legs too. Bitch.
**BITCH**
Whatever man, imma keep doing me. I've gone 3 weeks binge free & consistently under 500 calories, usually under 350 though. I'll be 101, y'all will still be drinking nasty ass apple cider vinegar, and I'll still be depressed as fuck and wonder what I'd look like if I just dropped 5 more lbs.
Happy Monday anyway. 🤠
[Other] I don't have a point lol
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:28:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuzmu/i_dont_have_a_point_lol/
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There is no motivation like that of looking in the mirror and thinking damn I'm losing control
No amount of thinspo is inspiring because honestly I don't give a shit what happens to those "beautiful" girls--hell are they even alive? Six feet under? idk I'm not competing with images I feel no connection to--they serve only one purpose anyway. If I really need thinspo I can get it elsewhere and it is everywhere. Limitless.
My bulimia makes me so fucking shallow, vain, vapid, obsessive, jealous and relentlessly bitter. It makes me resent those who care about me and gives me a sense of false superiority high like no other.
Maybe I chose this path, maybe it chose me but fuck me when I start to romanticize this lifestyle lol. Ain't it fun? Feeling like a ticking time bomb. Having insecurities that are grounded in something so fleeting like the physical body? Sheltering yourself away from the world with the only way you know how? What if that doesn't work? What's the next panacea then?
It's a disconnect. My heart is big and I know I have love to give others but I never loved myself enough--I don't have any to give to myself. So drained and I can't just sleep it off.
[Rant/Rave] I'm feeling so proud
/u/ReapHappiness [5'7" | 151.5 | 23.7 | 13.4lbs lost | GW1: 147lbs | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:15:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuwdk/im_feeling_so_proud/
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So, recently my grandma bought me a slice of pizza, ( she was trying to be nice but it like screwed with my whole psyche) and when she bought it I had one or two bites and then managed to stop and put it away. It was literally plaguing my dreams last night and when I woke up i grabbed it, started taking massive bites out of it while running to to the bathroom, and somehow managed to not swallow any of it!! I spit out what was in my mouth and ripped up the rest and flushed it and I'm honestly so proud.. even though I came way too close to fucking up my calories
[Other] Thoughts
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:14:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuw89/thoughts/
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So are EDisordered people the only ones that kind of seek out triggers? Because I know no rape survivor or ptsd survivors who actively seek out triggers.
[Other] This weird thinspo drawing turned into Karen Carpenter
/u/mild-rose [5'11 | 122 |17.50 |not enough | f]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:14:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuw0r/this_weird_thinspo_drawing_turned_into_karen/
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https://i.redd.it/9is4dapw17az.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Tmi tmi tmi rant 💩
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:11:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuvg1/tmi_tmi_tmi_rant/
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I've gotten pretty used to having a BM every few days since I've been eating somewhere between 300-600 cal daily. That's fine. Whatever. Idc.
Well, I'm finding that anytime I eat more than like...150 cal in one sitting it runs right through me and I have to go to the bathroom like crazy. It's shitty. Ate one poptart today (it's hard to turn down free food) and I'm regretting it so bad.
[Other] This Snapchat filter is LIFE 🙌🏼
/u/yaboifreud [F | 5'4 | HW 120 | CW 105 | GW 95]
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:05:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuu1m/this_snapchat_filter_is_life/
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https://i.redd.it/esjinx8j07az.jpg
[Other] A peep 👀 into my head.
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Mon Jul 17 12:02:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nut8x/a_peep_into_my_head/
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Me in the am after a good morning: fuck this I'm not purging anymore What kind of living is this
Me later in the afternoon: I can't escape. I guess back to my routine we go
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is ruining me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 11:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuiy6/my_boyfriend_is_ruining_me/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Intro and low calorie matcha smoothie recipe!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 11:20:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuim9/intro_and_low_calorie_matcha_smoothie_recipe/
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[deleted]
[Help] How to restrict without looking rude?
/u/rrdioherd
Created: Mon Jul 17 11:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuije/how_to_restrict_without_looking_rude/
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In a week's time, I'm going to stay with my boyfriend's parents for a little while. We haven't been going out very long, so I'm still eager to impress. Unfortunately, they are massively into rich food and plentiful alcohol (AKA calorie city). I've been under 600 calories for a few weeks now, I've made some excellent progress but I know they're going to feed me up the moment I'm there. I don't know how to maintain balance without seeming really rude and ungrateful! They've already made comments about my general pickiness and how skinny I am, so I'd feel awkward explaining that I'm on a diet... I don't know what to do. Any advice?
[Help] Restriction and insomnia?
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Mon Jul 17 11:13:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuh0i/restriction_and_insomnia/
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I don't know if it's truly connected or not but when I'm restricting really hard I can never seem to sleep. Sometimes days without more than 4 hours a day. I know from when I was in the Army that eating a calorie-heavy meal will knock me out cold, but I don't really see that as a solution I'm willing to try. DAE have these issues?
Wow, that's absolutely me
/u/beepitymeep
Created: Mon Jul 17 11:09:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nufzb/wow_thats_absolutely_me/
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https://i.redd.it/qlwc2sihq6az.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Secretly loving this stomach bug
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 11:05:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuf00/secretly_loving_this_stomach_bug/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just ate 1000 calories of pasta
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 10:57:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nucqr/just_ate_1000_calories_of_pasta/
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... and I hate myself. I don't know why I did it. I told myself that I have to stop eating grains. They're not nutritious, they're just loaded with carbs and sugar - stuff nobody needs. Ugghh I feel so fat, I wish I could take it back. Posting this to keep myself accountable - posting this was embarrassing enough, I don't want to have to post again.
[Rant/Rave] Impending doom
/u/elliebearrrr [5'5.5" | SW:175lbs CW:158lbs GW1:154lbs | 25.9 | -17lbs | F21]
Created: Mon Jul 17 10:54:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nuc1u/impending_doom/
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Posting this to hold myself accountable haha.
I'm going home to my parent's house tonight until Friday and I'm so scared of binging while I'm there. They don't keep really shitty food in the house but they still have binge trigger foods like bread, cereal etc., AND my period's due soon so I'm gonna want to eat aaaaaall the carbs lol
Was planning <500cal a day this week, had 1000 already today so I feel like such a failure :(
But I'm going to stay strong and think how proud of myself I'll be on Friday!
[Rant/Rave] Small victories and birthday celebrations. Hating myself less
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 10:43:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nu9g2/small_victories_and_birthday_celebrations_hating/
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Hello! I have been feeling much better these days (in terms of my mental state).
Going to the gym and restricting has really helped me appease those negative thoughts (somewhat). Today is my birthday, so I went to the gym as usual, but also had my favorite foods whereas I would usually just have salad with half a protein shake.
* Instant noodles + egg
* Burrito bowl with chicken and guac - no cheese or sour cream (ate everything-even the rice)
* Soft serve ice cream with 5 toppings (1 scoop)
I am happy to say that I gave myself a pass and only feel marginally guilty about it :) Not a whole lot of self-loathing going on today.
I hope everyone else is having a decent day as well! Share your victories of the day (small or large)! I'd love to hear them :)
[Other] A good looking guy commented on my weight loss!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 10:24:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nu4vz/a_good_looking_guy_commented_on_my_weight_loss/
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[deleted]
[Other] Nobody talks to me anymore
/u/AntioxidantOpium [5'9" | 97lbs | 14.3 BMI | -70lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 10:12:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nu1ul/nobody_talks_to_me_anymore/
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I'm at the lowest weight I've ever been in my life, and I feel like my friends and family have dismissed me as a lost cause at this point. I noticed that once I got around the 102lb point is when they started talking to me less and less.
I try and talk to them, but all I get are short answers, a single emoji, or ignored. But it's weird, because I'm not really lonely, just upset. I'm upset that they've given up on me. I'm upset that they would rather ignore me than call me out for my bullshit.
But I mean, it's w/e. I'm on a 1700cals/day plan rn to gain a little bit of weight back to bring me out of the death zone because honestly I feel like shit haha. And it's like a pride thing. Everyone seems to have given up on me, so I'll be damned to prove them right lol. I haven't given up on myself yet.
Anyways, how is everyone else doing?
[Discussion] Low-cal multivitamin recommendations?
/u/conspicere [🐍 5'3" | GW: 💯 | 21F | veg 🥕]
Created: Mon Jul 17 10:03:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntzpu/lowcal_multivitamin_recommendations/
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Happy Monday lovelies! 💕
I know this question probably gets asked a lot, but I'm just curious, what kinds of vitamins do you guys take daily?
I'm currently trying a women's gummy multivitamin BUT it has 20 calories for one serving, so I've been avoiding taking them lately because my ED brain thinks that's too many calories for only 2 gummies. 😷
I KNOW the rule of thumb is to not count your multivitamin calories, but as someone who eats 500-700 cals a day, these have a significant impact on my daily intake since they also have like 3g of sugar in them.
I'm hoping to find something that's ~10 cals or less! I really don't want to be afraid to take my vitamins anymore, since I've been feeling extra achey and fatigued lately.
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate my life
/u/SavingPrivateSnuffy
Created: Mon Jul 17 09:53:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntxfy/i_fucking_hate_my_life/
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I was supposed to ship out for basic training tomorrow and it's looking like I tore my ACL so guess who's gonna be bingeing today :')
[Rant/Rave] Home isn't home and I am existing not living
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Mon Jul 17 09:48:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntw75/home_isnt_home_and_i_am_existing_not_living/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
Lying in my bed after 6 hours if the closest definition of "sleep" I roll over to hear yelling from upstairs. I sigh and try to contemplate a plan.
It's 8:30am and I don't work until 2pm and the soonest I can be at work is 1:45 or so. I don't want to spend any money and might just walk around and listen to music.
My job stresses me out but gives me a sense of ritual and purpose. I cook but seldom eat. I feel ashamed anytime my coworkers catch me eating. No one asks if I want food on my breaks anymore and I'm unabashed about sustaining on coffee, water, sugar free energy drinks and cigarettes.
I have one friend who I've known for years and an SO who lives and works across the country where I will hopefully move.
I have stressed about hot to move the contents of my room to there for under 1000 dollars.
I spends my money sometimes before I make it. I pay rent to my parents and buy my own groceries which consist of binge foods 30 to 50 bucks a trip or safe foods that I don't eat until they go bad.
I feel like my home life is toxic and taxing. My parents know I have an ED as well as bipolar, PTSD and anxiety and still somehow manage to make me feel unsafe and unloved.
I probably contemplate running away or killing myself at least twice a day. My hair is noticeably damaged from bleaching and dying, my skin is paler than it used to be. I have permanent dark circles because I don't sleep well. I'm always hungry and in a moderate amount of pain.
I'm a male and pretty sure my muscles have started to atrophy. I could bench 220lbs in high school now I can barely life a 30 to 40 pound bag or container st work.
I am short of breath and get winded if I run or do too much. I was asthmatic as a child. I was also heavy. Now I fear the worst. I am average at best. I don't even know my weight and I'm scared to weigh myself unless I physically feel smaller. I want to reach my goal by November or early December but every time I start I get set back.
I need to lose 60 to 75 pounds and it's not realistic but I want it more than anything. I want to court death because I don't feel alive. I'm miserable with this ED and all my baggage I at least want to look the part so people take my struggles serious.
I was anorexic first then I just b/p. I'm either overweight or a "healthy" weight at this point but I don't like either I need to be smaller, underweight. Even though I will probably still feel and look like shit.
I hate home. I don't feel loved or cares for. I could cease to exist and realistically no one would notice is the saddest part. I just run out the clock until I binge, feel high then regret. Starve some more then repeat. Work 5 days a week and almost wish I worked the other two because I don't trust myself with occupying my free time.
I just feel vacant and yet not. Empty yet full of emotions that can't be expressed. Tired yet restless. Existing not living. I am but don't wish to be.
Willow.
[Thinspo] This is the photo I use for my discreet thinspo phone background.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F | 119 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 17 09:45:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntvju/this_is_the_photo_i_use_for_my_discreet_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/43LKtNL
[Tip] Reverse Rewards
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F | 119 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 17 09:29:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntrvg/reverse_rewards/
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So my method has always been to give myself around 3 GW with one UGW, and when I hit those goals I give myself rewards. Most of it was food and I would barely make it to my UGW before ruining everything with binges.
However, whenever I am starting to get hungry, I always make sure that I have complete all my chores and run all my errands before I finally give in to eating. So on days where I didn't have any chores or errands, forget about it, impending binge doom up ahead.
So why not on days where I don't have things to do I GIVE myself rewards instead of eating. For example, I've had money saved up to go to the nail salon for forever. Next time I'm feeling peckish and don't have anything going on I'll just take my happy ass to go get a pedicure. Next will be eyebrows, after that maybe a facial (or buy a mask).
You kind of have to have money for this particular method to work, but I bet you can find other ways to reward yourself that don't cost money. The point of it is (hopefully) a Pavlov's dog mind set. When I don't binge I get a reward therefore my brain will connect "no binge = reward".
Kind of a weird way to go about it, but wanted to share in case it helps anyone out there!
[Discussion] First post: music
/u/tombvaider
Created: Mon Jul 17 09:18:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntpcm/first_post_music/
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So hey, I'm Luna. I flutter in and out of recovery/relapse. I've been looking over this sub for a while now and been wanting to post something for ages.
I thought I'd tell you about an artist i really like called Nicole Dollanganger. Don't know if there are any fans of hers on here, but she's great. Like lo fi, dark, alternative, bedroom soft rock.
The song angels of porn is probably my favourite, as well as flowers of flesh and blood. I hope you guys enjoy her as much as i do.
Much love to you all <3
[Discussion] What are your favourite regional diet foods?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 09:13:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nto7t/what_are_your_favourite_regional_diet_foods/
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I'm planning on moving away and possibly travelling in a few years and I'm curious to know what your favourite diet foods or regional that you miss or have replicated the recipe.
[Discussion] What's your daily/weekly calorie deficit?
/u/IdentityCrisis24 [5'2 🔅 CW 84.6 🔅 BMI 15.6 🔅 GW 84 🔅 F 🔅 🍑: @GreenDelilah]
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:59:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntl1b/whats_your_dailyweekly_calorie_deficit/
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Recently started to track my exercise calories burnt and was wondering if anyone else measured how many calories they burn daily/weekly (aka Calories Out of CICO)? Or do most of you just count Calories In of CICO?
[Discussion] Do ECA stacks actually work?
/u/thescarletlettergirl [5'3 | CW 115 | 20.4 | -12 | F |]
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntk12/do_eca_stacks_actually_work/
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Do they actually make you lose weight and suppress your appetite because I know a lot of people in this sub use them so I'm just wondering.
[Help] Need advice for a meal out (hot date!)
/u/whittlebone
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:53:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntjre/need_advice_for_a_meal_out_hot_date/
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Hello all! Relapsing into my eating disorder after 8 years and besides the small scream in the back of my head getting louder and louder (you know the one) I am loving every minute of it. The high, the control, the order emerging from the chaos of your life.
But! To the question. I have been on 500 calories for the past 14 days. I am going on a 7 day water only fast and it ends around the same time I am meeting a guy I think is pretty cute on Monday. He wants to go eat sushi and I am not interested in any way in eating massive calorie bloat sushi when coming off this fast 😒 that being said, I am looking with a little bit of nostalgia at the girl that would comfortably eat in front of guys and have them comment about how they appreciated that I would actually eat in front of them (but also fuck those guys and the boat they came on)
So, the predicament: how do I go for sushi and order something that says "fun, has no psychological problems and is exciting!" while also not eating more calories than I have in like the past month.
Note: not gonna push my food around and play with it and pretend to eat it, and not gonna throw it up because that is a part of my ED I am refusing to step foot in again.
I was thinking salmon sashimi with a seaweed salad and a side of sake for a total of ~230. (The sake makes me angriest but I think its the most effective component of the charade). So, does this say "fun, sexy.... (and dare I say...) normal"?
Thoughts? Suggestions? Commiseration? Motivation?
[Other] Coworker: "You look just like that girl from To The Bone!"
/u/LiteralMangina [5'7" | 98lbs | 15.3 | -25 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:49:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntj0g/coworker_you_look_just_like_that_girl_from_to_the/
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"...not as skinny of course."
☺️😐😩
[Rant/Rave] No scale for 10 days, finally got it back!!
/u/rachelrayromano [5'4" | CW 102 | 17.85 |F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:44:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nthz8/no_scale_for_10_days_finally_got_it_back/
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I started moving at the beginning of this month. Bless his heart, my SO put the scale in a random box, it got lost in a sea of other boxes, and we are just now getting around to unpacking/organizing. I finally got to step on it this morning, after breakfast, and saw a beautiful 101 looking back at me. Now I just have to keep myself from binging back up to 105. My emotions are going crazy rn and I have no idea what to do. I am so proud of "maintaining" but now I just want to eat alllll the shitty junk food in the pantry, which makes me feel guilty for even thinking about it. Why is this such a fleeting moment of happiness?
[Discussion] Quiet exercises
/u/outerspacee
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nthx1/quiet_exercises/
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I'd like to exercise a lot more without my parents getting worried. What do you all reccomend? And how often/how many reps should I do? Thanks!
[Help] Starbucks calories??
/u/lalalovie [5'4 | CW:139 | CGW:133 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:26:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nte8e/starbucks_calories/
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I had a trenta iced green tea lemonade unsweetened this morning and I can't figure out calories for it. Since I didn't put sweetener in it, I figured it would be 0 cal but I can't find anything to confirm that. 😞
[Thinspo] I love ballerinas and just found this awesome series about the NYCB
/u/PeachesFromHeck [5'4" | CW 135lbs | BMI 23.63 | -11lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ntaaj/i_love_ballerinas_and_just_found_this_awesome/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILDzbQB3zh8
holy thinspo Batman. I wish I could take ballet lessons ;__;
[Discussion] What are your (intentional) gross-out foods?
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 119.2 lbs | 29F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 08:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nta17/what_are_your_intentional_grossout_foods/
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I am making a pretty big assumption here that I'm not the only one who will intentionally eat a food I *mostly* dislike in order to prevent myself from eating a lot of it, or eating anything for a while after the gross out food is finished.
For instance, artificially sweetened yogurt that comes in like 80-100 calorie cups, it tastes *kind of* okay, but the aftertaste is awful, and if I leave the package near me after I've finished it, the smell kind of gives me a headache and I don't want to eat for hours afterward.
What foods do this to you? Why? Do you do this often?
[Goal] This is going to sound crazy...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 07:51:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nt6l5/this_is_going_to_sound_crazy/
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[removed]
It's 75 degrees and I'm cold
/u/histrioniclover
Created: Mon Jul 17 07:48:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nt61h/its_75_degrees_and_im_cold/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Coworker compliments and panic 😊😮
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 136.6 | BMI: 28.09 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 07:29:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nt2b2/coworker_compliments_and_panic/
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I started my job in January at the peak of my HW. There is actually a picture of me on the wall (we have photos of the team members next to the office) from my second week there and it’s atrocious. I was feeling a little disheartened, bc my SO has barely noticed my 31lbs weight loss that has occurred over the last two and a half months, but I also felt kind of relieved bc if he doesn’t notice, he can’t be too concerned. We have company issued t-shirts that are made of dri-fit material and thus show every roll and ripple in your gut. There is one hoodie issued to every employee with an option to purchase additional ones. I’ve worn my oversized hoodie since day one until it finally got way too hot and I got thin enough that the t-shirts are a little baggy and this more flattering. I wore a t-shirt yesterday and finally retired my original work jeans (because they just fall off now) and wore some old size 6 jeans I found from a few years ago.
So after working through a big rush of customers and barely having time to exchange pleasantries with the team it finally slowed down a bit, and my coworker shouted “OMG! You have gotten sooooo tiny!” at me when there were finally no customers around. Another coworker, who just finished his nursing degree said “yeah, she’s been doing CICO and tracking calories”, because I shared that I was “dieting” with him a while back, because he is a feeder and always brings big meals to work to share bc his SAHM wife cooks for a small army and I needed a good excuse not to partake.
Sooo, the subject of the conversation got around to “how much have you lost?” Working on a team of 8 people where only 3 (one manager, one really young man, and one other female with some mental health issues) are the only ones not overweight or obese, everyone was curious. I was on a high from the compliments (especially after a customer was trying to describe the person that helped him a couple months back and said “not you, the skinny one.”) I sort of blurred out “31lbs so far”.
Everyone’s face went south. It shifted the whole tone and suddenly it seemed like the room was aware that what I was doing was unhealthy. So... I bullshitted and said I had been working on it since I started in January but it finally got to the point where I had to wear different clothes because the old ones are falling off of me, and that’s why it’s suddenly so noticeable.
And that, friends, is what I get for wearing a t-shirt to work instead of a hoodie in 96 degree weather.
[Rant/Rave] Best friend is only pounds above her hs weight
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Mon Jul 17 07:15:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nszo2/best_friend_is_only_pounds_above_her_hs_weight/
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Aka the weight she was when she was soooo skinny everyone was concerned for her health and she looked like she was withering away to nothing. Thanks for the Monday motivation, home girl.
[Other] Chokers and oversized T-shirts makes me happy.
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 105 | 17.04|26 F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 07:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nsypo/chokers_and_oversized_tshirts_makes_me_happy/
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https://i.redd.it/40hxolcwj5az.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Found some old photos of my LW back at the height of my ED in 2014. I was so thin then :'(
/u/sunrisesomeday [5'6.5" | 155.75 lb | UGW:105lb | yo-yo queen]
Created: Mon Jul 17 07:06:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nsxuz/found_some_old_photos_of_my_lw_back_at_the_height/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! July 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 17 06:14:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nsot7/weekly_stats_update_july_17_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 17, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 17 06:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nsosc/daily_food_diary_july_17_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 17, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] I hit my goal?? or at least I hope I did
/u/YukiHase [5'9'' | 123.6 | 18.3 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 05:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nsi18/i_hit_my_goal_or_at_least_i_hope_i_did/
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I think I need a new scale. I stepped on it this morning and it said 124.2... I thought it was too good to be true so I stepped on it again and it said 126.6? Then again and it said 125.6? I don't know which one is accurate so I'm going with the middle one for now. I want to get either new batteries or a new scale altogether but I'm sure it would make my mom suspicious...
[Discussion] So. Fucking. Tired.
/u/CoolCatLovesAllKids [164cm | 15 | lmfao | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 17 05:29:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nshbg/so_fucking_tired/
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All the time. After waking up. When I'm sitting down. When I'm standing. PROBABLY WHEN I'M SLEEPING TOO. I'm not even that active.
I know it's because I'm not eating enough. But I don't want to eat. I don't eat anything besides dinner which I'm not allowed to prepare myself because if I could it'd be air lmao. Sometimes I'll have a cup of hot chocolate or coffee when I'm really really hungry but that doesn't happen often.
Do you guys take tablets or something? Is there some magical low calorie juice you guys aren't telling me about that'll make me want to do summersaults and fucking I don't know not make me want to lie down on the floor and nap constantly???? 'Cause that'd be amazing.
Please help a sister out
[Discussion] DAE find they have self destructive tendencies in other aspects of their life as well?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 17 05:08:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nse25/dae_find_they_have_self_destructive_tendencies_in/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] fasting
/u/thelonelykitten_ [5'2 | 131 | 23.8 | -2 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 04:24:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ns7v5/fasting/
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I'm subbed here and in r/fasting. Something I've noticed is that you rarely see people in there trying to tell people not eating is bad for you. Fasting isn't good for you, we know that. But it really bothers me that these people do it claiming it's good to not eat for day/weeks at a time and get support from others, while we just have this sub(which is awesome and I love y'all).
At least we know it's fucked up and just wanna lose weight instead of hiding behind bogus "detox" reasons
Idk where I'm going with this
Edit: on a new Reddit app, I don't think I can flair
Okay apparently some people are really mad at me for this post? Stop messaging me :)
[Thinspo] Some thinspo for you - Karleena Gore
/u/stickfiguredrawings
Created: Mon Jul 17 03:35:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ns1ea/some_thinspo_for_you_karleena_gore/
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http://flannelbackground.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Karleena_Gore2.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My boss told me I look like I've gained weight today.
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 17 02:33:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nrtij/my_boss_told_me_i_look_like_ive_gained_weight/
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My work uniform consists of slacks and a button up shirt. I wear this every day. I've lost a little bit of weight recently (9 lbs) so I decided to try wearing my old work pants that are a size smaller. I felt pretty good in them. So I'm at work like normal and then out of the blue my boss asks me to meet him in his office. When I get in, he then proceeds to tell me that my pants are too tight and that I am displaying an "unprofessional image". (Leaving the door open so anyone could hear). I just say "Oh, I'll wear my other pants tomorrow. These must have shrunk in the wash..." He then says "Are you sure you didn't just gain weight? I mean those pants look sooo tight that they're going to rip at any second" and starts cracking up laughing. I just laugh along and don't really say anything at that point. Then, he points at a really skinny girl we work with who always wears very baggy clothes and says "Maybe you should ask to switch pants with her! Nahhh, she is so tiny even her baggy pants are probably 2 sizes too small for you" and laughs again. I just tell him I'd change them tomorrow, and he finally let me leave his office.
This is not the first time my boss has made comments about me or my co-worker's bodies, including: "women don't like men with scrawny arms bro, you need to start hitting the gym", (to the new guy who was 19 yrs old at the time) and "how are you going to lose that baby weight when you are always eating cheetos?" (to a girl who had just given birth 6 months ago.) But, it seems the majority of his comments are directed towards me and revolve around my weight. He even critisizes my food choices while at work events and has suggested I just eat the salads.
I am just so fed up with this. I was feeling actually okay about myself, I haven't b/p'd in a while now and was finally losing some weight. These comments just totally tore me down. I wish I didn't let people have this effect on me, but I do. I was just hoping some people on here could relate to how I'm feeling.
Anyways, hope your days are all going better than mine <3
[Goal] Reasons to eat 100 cups of spinach per day
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Mon Jul 17 00:49:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nrg93/reasons_to_eat_100_cups_of_spinach_per_day/
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1. I would get in over 90g of protein on 700 calories
2. I wouldn't have time to binge, bc I'd have to eat 4 cups of spinach an hour
3. I would be too full to binge, bc there would be so much spinach in my stomach
4. I wouldn't have enough money to binge, bc I'd have to spend my entire budget on buying my daily 3.1kgs of spinach
5. I would look like I'm eating CONSTANTLY, so people won't think I have an eating disorder
6. I would get enough calcium, iron, Vitamin C and Vitamin A, so I wouldn't even get sick
7. Constantly eating spinach would probably make me thirsty, so I'd up my water
8. I would get about 9 grams of unsaturated fat in
9. I would get 66g of fiber in, never will I have to worry about bowel movements again
10. Barely any sugar, so no spikes in blood sugar and I'll always be peaking
11. No cholesterol
12. Vegan
13. Glutenfree
14. Raw
I'm not actually gonna go through with this, but I find it funny, how there'd be absolutely no holes to only eating spinach.
Cons:
1. Where would I keep my weekly 21.7kg/700 cups of spinach?
[Help] Bringing a scale to college?
/u/proed-throwaway
Created: Sun Jul 16 23:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr8ng/bringing_a_scale_to_college/
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Should I bring a scale to college with me, or is that a no-go? I imagine the gym (which I'll be frequenting, of course) will have a scale but I prefer to weigh with no clothes so it's more accurate.
Also, the dorms are carpeted so I don't know how accurate the scale would be if I kept it under my bed or something. We'll have one big common bathroom on each floor so I suppose I could get a cheap one and just leave it in there and hope nobody takes it. Thoughts?
[Discussion] Step right up to the freak show.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 23:36:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr692/step_right_up_to_the_freak_show/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] My goal weight reward may have disfigured me
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Sun Jul 16 23:32:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr5mz/my_goal_weight_reward_may_have_disfigured_me/
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I realized I never rewarded myself for hitting my goal weight months ago. Then an acquaintance starts working at a laser place and tells me a deal they have. Six laser treatments for legs for $400 with "a high end laser" (alexandrite). I decide to go for it.
I end up with gray burns on my leg. The tech has "never seen this before." After days, I still have them and find other lighter burn spots elsewhere.
I reached my GW. But now I may be permanently disfigured. And no level of restriction can ever fix that.
Its the punishment I get for trying to treat myself.
[Rant/Rave] Mindset struggle :/
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 23:24:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr4kh/mindset_struggle/
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Half of me wants to be teeny tiny, waifish and underweight, skin and bones. Everything (like clothes) is loose and hangs off and I'm small and little and light, and I don't care how I get to that point as long as I get to there.
The other half of me wants to be healthy, muscular/lean and fit, strong and energetic, toned and curvy. And to be like this I have to eat more than 1200kcal and not fast and be healthy and get enough nutrients and shit.
It's so annoying because I keep flip flopping back and forth for what I want and I'm light-years away from being either of those things and it's so hard to decide to head in one direction, because if I eat a lot I feel guilty and upset that I won't look like the waifish dream, and if I don't eat enough or I ear something unhealthy/nutritionally deficient, I feel guilty because I won't look like the fit dream and I'm unhealthy.
Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, it's 1am and I'm just upset.
Is anyone else like this? Or just me?
[Thinspo] Blackpink Lisa Fancam Thinspo
/u/alovelytime
Created: Sun Jul 16 23:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr2h7/blackpink_lisa_fancam_thinspo/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUFv5At-d00
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever feel like your body is a disaster? Is it my imagination?
/u/thelovelightsglowing
Created: Sun Jul 16 23:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr2da/do_you_ever_feel_like_your_body_is_a_disaster_is/
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Could someone tag as rant/rave? I am on mobile.
I finally found a swimsuit that is kind of sexy and not a total fat mom suit but still covers the worst parts of my body, and I even replaced the cups to fit my breasts better, but then I tried to take some pictures to see if I was deluding myself into thinking that way, and it seems that is the case. I look like a blob.
I don't think I have body dysmorphia, but there are all these odd things about my body that just depress me. I have been overweight most of my life, and every time I have been thinner, I still had all the same issues...they were just smaller. I have had a droopy belly (FUPA maybe?) for as long as I remember--even when I was a size 4. I have rolls of fat on my back that were also still there when I was smaller. For whatever reason, I haven't really had issues with love handles or lower back fat, just this weird upper roll that makes me feel deformed. My breasts are far apart and high set, and I have breast tissue all over the side and chest. I have never worn below a D cup, but my breasts still just look small. I have a flared rib age, so my upper body is just really wide, and no matter how fat I am, my left upper rib sticks out. The placemeant also creates exaggerated bra band fat rolls and makes wearing bras really uncomfortable in general. I have found a brand of soft cup longline bras that come in actual cup sizes (Fortnight), and they are the only bras I can wear that cover up this issue and don't cause me pain. It was really embarrassing when I worked at a lingerie store because it looked like my bras were all too tight in the band even when they were actually too loose. When I am thinner, more of my ribs stick out, but I still have a bunch of belly. I think the flared rib cage causes anterior pelvic tilt. My belly button is deep and sits weirdly low. I have "thigh brows" when I a, standing up. My labia are really "out", if hat makes sense, so even if I can magically find pants and shorts that mask my belly line, they give me terrible cameltoe. I have a bad overbite that makes for a weak chin, so any roundness on my face and I have a double chin. My neck is short, and there is a ring around it from when I was fat enough to have neck rolls that just never goes away. I guess I am sort of hourglass shaped, but my waist is short and high, so it is difficult to find any clothing to show off my proportionately small waist. My legs are very muscular and look thin in comparison to the rest of me unless I am flexing. On top of everything, I have terrible dandruff, migraines, GI issues, tons of food sensitivities, irregular periods, insomnia, bruise and scar very easily, and chronic itchy skin/eczema. Listing all these things makes me seem like I have some kind of illness, but there is nothing wrong with my thyroid or ovaries or blood sugar. I might chock those symptoms up to either being overweight or malnourished depending on what kind of ED cycle I am on, but they are present when my body is "normal."
Sometimes I just feel like, why do I bother? What is the point of losing all this weight if I am just a smaller version of the same droopy disaster? I felt ashamed every time I had casual sex because I looked thin in clothes but was hiding this droopy gut. I know these things about my body are real, but I wonder if they are noticeable or off-putting to other people. If they are noticeable. I don't see other people with belly outline gut with upper abs and ribs, or a perky butt and strong lower back topped with a ring of back fat rolls. Is it because I don't notice it? Are they good at hiding it, like I often am? Or is my body truly a disaster?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a total fraud.
/u/alldaysleepiness
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:56:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr0bv/i_feel_like_a_total_fraud/
---
Mods feel free to tag however you see fit.
I feel like I have an eating disorder but its not as severe as anybody else's that posts here.
In November 2015 I herniated several discs in my back and have permanent nerve damage. Because I couldn't work anymore, I would lay in bed and eat all day. This went on until July of 2016 when I saw I ballooned up to 250 pounds!!!! After I saw this number I lost the first 15 pounds the "healthy" way, but I felt it took too long to lose just 15 pounds. Thats when I started restricting to 500-600 calories a day and lost 60 more pounds. I've gained back some of the weight recently because I didn't have insurance for 3 months to get my perscriptions refilled and tend to binge more when I'm depressed.
Now, I feel like a total fraud because I'm 187 and too fat to have an eating disorder. Its like I eat 400-600 calories/ day, but look like I eat 3000-4000 calories/ day.
TLDR: I just wanted to put it out there that I'm not skinny enough to be here, but I will be someday, hopefully.
[Discussion] Anyone else shitting what they eat immediately afterward?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:55:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nr06t/anyone_else_shitting_what_they_eat_immediately/
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I'm not taking laxatives. By "immediately" I mean like an hour later, but like... Still seems way too soon. Not looking for medical advice - just wondering if anyone experiences the same thing.
[Discussion] I want to go grocery shopping but I'm afraid I won't be able to do it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqzsj/i_want_to_go_grocery_shopping_but_im_afraid_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Rough day, mom says I shouldn't lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqy19/rough_day_mom_says_i_shouldnt_lose_weight/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Tried to be normal the last 4 months, I'm back
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:35:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqx1o/tried_to_be_normal_the_last_4_months_im_back/
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[deleted]
[Help] [Help] bathing suits are the bane of my existence
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:21:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nquxk/help_bathing_suits_are_the_bane_of_my_existence/
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I lost seven pounds since I last put on a swimsuit and I still look dumb. I look so "curvy" and it literally makes me want to die, but I'm going on vacation in a few weeks and I need something to wear for it. I don't want to hide my body in a big tee shirt or a coverup or one of those bathing suits with the skirt because it feels like admitting defeat, but at the same time... what's the point of starving if I never look any better? Feeling a little crushed today.
[Discussion] What is your favorite thing to purge?
/u/ashlynlollis
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:18:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqufj/what_is_your_favorite_thing_to_purge/
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Okay like I know this sounds bad but it's based off [this comment](https://imgur.com/gallery/wiuOP). Mine is probably chocolate, it has the same taste comin back up. I was just thinking about what you all thought, sorry if this is inappropriate, mods. (Feel free to tag NSFW, I'm on mobile sorry)
[Other] To the Bone is out if anyone was interested :D
/u/Onthedownlowplz [5'8"|50.6kg|16.15|M19]
Created: Sun Jul 16 22:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqty2/to_the_bone_is_out_if_anyone_was_interested_d/
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http://sockshare.net/watch/LxR5YpvO-to-the-bone.html
[Thinspo] What are your favorite Instagram accounts that are thinspo but not openly pro ed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 21:29:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqmk7/what_are_your_favorite_instagram_accounts_that/
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I'm talking like specific people
I love Jude Karda and Steqhs
[Intro] Time to lose it... again
/u/trop_mince [5'8" | CW: 129.4 | 19.46 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 21:28:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqmet/time_to_lose_it_again/
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Hi, I’m K. I’m 5’8”.
Two years ago, I weighed 149 pounds.
A year ago, I weighed 107 pounds.
Today, I weigh 130 pounds.
I went from 107 to 137 in three months while completing a recovery stunt in a PHP. I’m a “healthy weight”; I have a wonderful boyfriend, and I finally know what I want to do after college.
But I’m starting to hate my body again. I hate my flabby arms, my fat thighs, and my thick hips.
So... I’m going to lose weight. I can’t restrict too hard because of 1. living with my boyfriend and 2. my dad would notice if I dropped weight super quick, but I’m still restricting. I don’t have an exact goal weight, honestly anything is better than this.
You all are beautiful. Thank you.
[Other] Teavana?
/u/YeahImAPrincess
Created: Sun Jul 16 21:26:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqm6d/teavana/
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Does anyone else really love teavana? Their teas are flavorful with little to no sugar, plus there's sooo many flavors! My favorite right now is iced raspberry limeade (with no sugar). Does anyone else have a favorite tea flavor?
[Rant/Rave] I think I found a way to massively curb my urges to constantly snack.
/u/PetraQuill
Created: Sun Jul 16 21:11:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqjnz/i_think_i_found_a_way_to_massively_curb_my_urges/
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My boyfriend bought me a vape. I had low-key been wanting to try it, but felt like I'd look like a huge dumbass. So he surprised me with a purple stick pen style with a nicotine free flavor. I'm so excited lol.
[Rant/Rave] My mom killed my mood
/u/YeahImAPrincess
Created: Sun Jul 16 21:10:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqjbu/my_mom_killed_my_mood/
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I have had 700 or so calories total today, which is average for me. 500 of those calories came from a danish, and for once I didnt purge after I ate it. I was really proud of myself and decided to treat myself to a serving of ice cream (arctic zero) to round to an even-ish 100s number.
As I was eating my ice cream, my mom made a comment about eating a danish then ice cream, saying how unhealthy it is for me. Now I feel terrible and want to purge it all. I decided to fast 24 hours tomorrow to assure the calories dont do anything.
Im sorry. Im stressed and just needed to share this somewhere.
Fast Accountability
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 21:03:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqi61/fast_accountability/
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[removed]
[Help] Happiest time of my life squandered by 15 lbs weight gain. Contemplated suicide already and need someone who understands EDs to talk to.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 20:57:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nqh7i/happiest_time_of_my_life_squandered_by_15_lbs/
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[deleted]
[Other] When you move in to a new place and only have the essentials in the fridge
/u/ElectroFlannelGore
Created: Sun Jul 16 20:13:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nq9ed/when_you_move_in_to_a_new_place_and_only_have_the/
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https://imgur.com/hKBwW1Q
[Rant/Rave] This week has sucked
/u/MistrrrOrgasmo
Created: Sun Jul 16 19:43:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nq44f/this_week_has_sucked/
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My cat died two days ago. I can't stop binging, eating things off my diet. I'm back up 4lbs. I need to stop eating but nothing I do makes me feel better. Tomorrow I intend to restrict all day but I'm not sure I can do it. I keep on thinking about Peaches. I just wish she was still with us. She was stupid and beautiful and cuddley and she gave me something else to focus on when life was bad.
[Thinspo] In honor of the Game of Thrones premiere, and because Natalie Dormer is goals [thinspo]
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | 🐋 | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Sun Jul 16 19:17:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npzsj/in_honor_of_the_game_of_thrones_premiere_and/
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http://imgur.com/gallery/beJx3
who knows what i’m doing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 19:15:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npzh8/who_knows_what_im_doing/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm supposed to be maintaining but I'm not oops
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Sun Jul 16 19:06:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npxvg/im_supposed_to_be_maintaining_but_im_not_oops/
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I go back to college in a few days but right now I'm still with my parents. I also see my ex (and current fwb) tomorrow and he's the only person I've ever told about my eating problems, but we also don't really talk about it because he knows I don't like to. I'm worried he's going to bring it up, and me not eating today is not going to help.
I know he secretly likes it though. He used to tell me he loved my thighs all the time when they were bigger, but the first time he saw me after I started restricting he was obsessed. "YOU'RE. SO. TINY!!" And he was grabbing me and almost worshiping me.
And I secretly like that I'm not maintaining. I like that I'm not hungry and can save calories for dinner and drinks with my ex tomorrow. Restricting seriously is a drug. Too bad it never lasts forever.
[Humor] Me these past three days (stop me, before I eat again!)
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 19:01:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npwzv/me_these_past_three_days_stop_me_before_i_eat/
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https://i.redd.it/z36zgcbjx1az.gif
[Discussion] What are your ED all-time low points?
/u/SatansFaveCat
Created: Sun Jul 16 18:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npulo/what_are_your_ed_alltime_low_points/
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-Throwing chairs at my mom when I was 15 and she confronted me about my relapse after reading my diary.
-Shoplifting B/P food and almost getting caught several times.
-Purging in a dirty train station bathroom and coming out to see a 5 year old girl who had apparently been there the whole time.
-Purging into plastic cups and hiding them in my room when I was in IP, then flushing them down the toilet when the bathrooms were unlocked before breakfast (somehow didn't get caught with that either...)
-Being out of school for months in high school, and then being in a nightmarish "therapeutic" school for 4 months (all my friends know I had an ED and other issues but nobody other than my parents knows about this). Since my parents also restricted my phone and social media out of pro ana concerns, I pretty much lost all my friends.
My dad and stepmom fucking told me I can't sleep in my room anymore and that I have to move all my stuff.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sun Jul 16 18:40:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npt8a/my_dad_and_stepmom_fucking_told_me_i_cant_sleep/
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So I'm driving to my mom's crying because I've had the shittiest fucking weekend ever. I was like where am I supposed to sleep??? And he was like you can sleep in our room and I was like ok where am I supposed to put my stuff???? And he was like umm. So now I'm on the way to my mom's. This weekend is the worst. I have been nauseous all fucking day and my stomach is killing me. I just want to die. I feel like a used piece of trash from last night too so that's not helping.
[Rant/Rave] Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is beargoesrawrr
/u/beargoesrawrr [5'7" | CW: 174 | 27.1 | HW: 220 | GW: 125 | 29F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 18:19:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nppb6/allow_me_to_reintroduce_myself_my_name_is/
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My boyfriend just broke up with me, so I'm planning on rebounding with my eating disorder. I did kinda miss my ED a bit, in the weirdest way.
[Rant/Rave] Treatment
/u/Hyde25 [5'6'' |97.6| 15.82| F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 18:10:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npnj3/treatment/
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My current therapist told me at our last appointment that she's not qualified to help me with any food related issues and so referred me to a therapist that specializes in eating disorders.
I called and made an appointment (and then cancelled, and after repeated emails from the therapist, director of the center, and an intern, scheduled an appointment again) and going to that appointment was terrifying. I don't know if I can go back, I've had some form of disordered eating since around 12 years old, and I'm 26 now, I don't think I'm ready to fix this.
Its hard enough that I've had it this long, been underweight for most of it, and not one person said anything, because by my (probably skewed) logic, if no one notices, then its obviously not a problem. But the ED therapist thinks its a problem, she's actually worried about me, she called me anorexic, which seems so wrong. I have issues with food, but I don't feel like I'm bad enough to be labeled anorexic, and I don't know how to deal with someone that is worried about my habits.
I don't know if I can do this, I just want to continue losing weight and pretend everything is fine.
[Rant/Rave] I was doing well and then tanked today
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 18:04:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npmak/i_was_doing_well_and_then_tanked_today/
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Met most of my meal plan for 4 days, skipped a fuck ton yesterday because I was busy, took today as a self care day. Ended up purging, weighing myself, and running (and since my roommate knows, I took advantage of knowing she's out to do so).
I'm a fucking idiot and I don't deserve the good people around me.
At least my weight is stable so they won't ship me off anywhere come Tuesday.
[Discussion] What are your ways of dealing with the sadness and guilt after eating too much one day??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 17:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npkup/what_are_your_ways_of_dealing_with_the_sadness/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] This is why I can't do recovery
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 17:14:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6npday/this_is_why_i_cant_do_recovery/
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I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since grade 7. I'm in uni now. My kind of ED goes through cycle of binging or restricting. But today I just realized one thing that stays the same throughout both types of ED: I have the same thoughts. When I'm restricting, I have safe foods, I KNOW that I will put on weight, it's my worst nightmare. When I'm binging, IT'S THE EXACT SAME THOUGHTS, the only difference is that I choose to ignore them. When I'm in my restricting cycle, I stay at a healthy, low weight. When I'm in my binging cycle, I'm overweight.
Both situations have downsides (the same ones) except binging has an extra downside: weight gain!!They both cause equal amounts of worsened mental health, but binging has an extra effect of worsened physical health.
In either case, I'm done with battling between binging or restricting; I've finally settled for one - restricting. No longer will I be plagued with deciding between binging or restricting - I KNOW that restricting is the better choice.
I'm so fed up with being fat.
[Other] Relish, so much relish
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 16:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6np8se/relish_so_much_relish/
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It was 2am and there was nothing to binge on, except an unopened jar of relish.
So I ate the whole fucking jar
[Tip] Detoxing tomorrow! And a new tip!
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sun Jul 16 16:25:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6np3z1/detoxing_tomorrow_and_a_new_tip/
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I just made two really yummy things today, for barely any fat and very low cal.
* salt and vinegar kale chips: mix three tablespoons of vinegar and two tablespoons of water (I used apple cider vinegar) with sea salt to taste. Add onion powder, garlic powder, etc. If you want more flavor. Combine in a bowl with an entire head of kale (ripped into bite size pieces) and mix (only 34 calories!). Use spray oil or other oil if you'd like, but very sparingly. Put on parchment paper and a baking sheet at 350 degrees. Every 10 minutes or so, make sure your're moving the chips around, so they can be crispy on all sides. It took about 20 for mine to be done. They are so, so, so, good! And they satisfied that vinegar craving for me. I put a bit of coconut oil on the leaves, which added about 50 calories. Still 84 calories in total for the whole sheet, which is not bad at all.
* jackfruit nachos: I used the Upton's Naturals brand of Jackfruit, and I must say it's so good in the chipotle lime flavor. I just heated that up in a pan with a little water and some pepper. I cut up one corn tortilla into tiny little pieces, laid them in the oven dampened with water, and let them crisp up. It was the best little meal I've had in a while. 70 calories for the 'chips', 35 for one serving of the jackfruit.
These were perfect for me as a snack girl, so I thought I would share.
Also, I am detoxing with lemon, cayenne, and acv water tomorrow. Know that I am trying to stay strong even thinking about fasting, haha.
[Rant/Rave] today's therapy session (abridged)
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sun Jul 16 16:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6np34j/todays_therapy_session_abridged/
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Therapist: "You're using restriction to hide from your anxiety and sadness. You're using your ED to channel emotions you perceive as weakness--"
Me: "Okay, but seriously, I just want to be better than other people."
Best and worst thing about therapy is that it only lasts an hour. I was pretty close to walking out at various points--if I'm gonna pay someone big bucks to degrade me, she better wear a leather bustier.
She has me pegged: I feel like subhuman shit for feeling any emotion except rage and contempt. Sadness and fear make me feel like a whiny kid pissing his pants and bawling for mommy (or worse, like a histrionic teenager).
I feel like subhuman shit most of the time.
My perception of myself as "fat" is probably wrapped up in my perception of myself (and everyone else) as weak, self-indulgent, needy, childlike, and whiny. That's great. That's fantastic. That is also not really new information--my family used to praise me for being an underweight kid, I was bullied for being fat (at 5'7" and 115 lbs), my ex used to chide me to take care of my body. I know all these things.
I want people to envy me. If I've felt inferior all my goddam life, of course I'd like a fucking taste of superiority. Mea maxima culpa. Sorry.
Here I am, boiling with rage, probably channeling some wimpy emotion or another. Ate half a tub of slow-churned ice cream today; feeling like just about the weakest little loser there ever was; might skip my planned nutritious dinner to finish it off.
Eating my feelings. I thought I was a cold unflappable badass--apparently I'm a stereotype of a housewife watching soaps.
N.B.: I would also, at some point, like to have sex with a dude. This is another very good reason not to be fat.
Addendum: I don't actually care about sex. I just want someone to be attracted to me. Makes me feel less like subhuman shit.
Edited to add: I am not a very nice person. Another stunning insight from therapy.
[Help] roommate issues pls help !!!!
/u/c-elizabeth-l
Created: Sun Jul 16 16:04:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nozmt/roommate_issues_pls_help/
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okay!!! so my roommate has literally been such a brat these last few weeks and I'm honestly at my breaking point like idk what to even do. She's constantly eating the food that I buy, like I buy stuff that is low cal and more expensive because I like to have the most organic, best food when I actually eat and like she literally eats it all???? And then she had her sister come and visit and while I was at my boyfriends and I came home today and she let her sister sleep in my bed without asking????? And now she's all mad at me for no reason and like its so fucking annoying and idk what to do at this point like am I being a brat about this??
[Rant/Rave] BMI; 20.9 feel so pathetic and fake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 16:03:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nozjn/bmi_209_feel_so_pathetic_and_fake/
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[deleted]
[Other] I'm high on hunger
/u/penguin368
Created: Sun Jul 16 15:51:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6noxa8/im_high_on_hunger/
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And drugs, but the hunger high is the best part.
[Help] Can someone please tell me why i should not purge
/u/milky_toast [🍄 5'1" | 108.0 | 21.31 | -76 | F 🌸]
Created: Sun Jul 16 15:02:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6non1x/can_someone_please_tell_me_why_i_should_not_purge/
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I never have before. And logically i know i shouldn't, its bad, etc. But i keep getting this urge to try it? Ive also been a bit depressed lately, and i think the urge is partially because i want to self harm. Regardless, i could use a list of reasons not to do it so i can keep talking myself out of it.
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sun Jul 16 14:42:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6noj0r/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/6zfd5lejn0az.jpg
[Help] First post: help I've been binging all day
/u/Jtgonc [5'8 | CW : 166]
Created: Sun Jul 16 13:45:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6no7es/first_post_help_ive_been_binging_all_day/
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So I woke up this morning determined to count my calories and have a normal day. For breakfast a had a bowl of special k and almond milk.
But I work alone in a snack shack, so when I got to work at 1pm the binging began. Between 1-3:30pm today I had a medium Dunkin smores iced coffee with skim, a Dunkin egg and cheese wake up wrap, 2 snack bags of sour cream potato chips (220 cal each), a pack of peanut m&ms, a pack of Reese's, and 2 diet sodas.
It's 3:45 and I have work till 6:30 and then a family dinner. I feel so defeated for eating all those calories and it's not even 4PM
Edit: I just calculated it all up and it's only 1400 calories but I still have a full meal ahead of me and just feel gross now. Should I purge or is it too late?
[Rant/Rave] Having a weekend that managed to encompass all aspects of my ED
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Sun Jul 16 13:21:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6no2ai/having_a_weekend_that_managed_to_encompass_all/
---
On Friday night, I splurged on a sale and got 2 new dresses after discovering I unknowingly dropped another size (yay for body recomp and unchecked shopoholism).
On Saturday morning, I spent way too much time at the gym.
On Saturday evening, I got unreasonably annoyed and bummed out for no other reason than hunger. I cooked a carefully planned normal-looking low-cal meal for both my boyfriend and me.
On Sunday morning, I had a protein shake instead of breakfast.
On Sunday afternoon, I wrote down everything I ate and accounted for every calorie as soon as I left my boyfriend's place.
On Sunday evening, I went to my parents' and binged (they always want me to eat something in front of them). Then I went home and ate more until I felt sick. I purged it all out until I felt even more sick.
Anyway, how have you guys been?
[Rant/Rave] Thinking about posting here kept me from a huge binge, thank you guys.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Sun Jul 16 13:16:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6no176/thinking_about_posting_here_kept_me_from_a_huge/
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I work at a restaurant popular for "gourmet" burgers. I was there from 11:00 - 7:30 yesterday and had lunch in between of a no bun burger that was just meat, lettuce, tomato, and pineapple. I walk around non stop and it's always busy so I burn a good amount of calories while at work.
After I got off, I went to my boyfriends and took a dab and made him promise me that if I got the munchies he wouldn't necessarily stop me from eating, but would ask me "are you sure your not going to cry after you eat that?"
So after dab we head over to my best friends house and I had a glass of wine with the girls, then boyfriend and I went to Wendy's because he wanted nuggets. I decided I "earned" a frosty because of how long I was at work and how many steps I took. This then escalated to "well if I'm having ice cream I should really have ice cream and get a giant sundae from ice cream store, and might as well get some chicken nuggets and fries too."
I was determined to eat this despite my bf reminding me I was going to cry until we were in the Wendy's drive thru and I couldn't stop thinking about how if I just didn't eat it and had self control I would be able to post about it here as a rave instead of disappointed and ranting that I did it. So here I am. Down 3 pounds from yesterday (big whoosh came with not having ice cream) and I'm so so so happy with myself.
Also, boyfriend got a large fry and I was drunk and high and didn't even steal A SINGLE ONE. you guys give me self control.
Side note, I was supposed to work this morning but drinking wine and fasting do not coexist so my coworker who wants more hours is currently working while I'm dying miserable death from this hangover and being showered with coffee and hugs from my boyfriend.
Thanks for existing guys.
[Discussion] Can someone estimate the calories that was in this?
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Sun Jul 16 13:02:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nny99/can_someone_estimate_the_calories_that_was_in_this/
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https://i.redd.it/oj7darvq50az.jpg
[Other] Happy photo thread!!
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sun Jul 16 12:32:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nns49/happy_photo_thread/
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I am in a crappy mood right now so feel free to comment photos of you in which you are happy or you like the way you look. :)
[Discussion] Questions about lanugo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 12:31:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nnrz6/questions_about_lanugo/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] For once I am PROUD of myself!!
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Sun Jul 16 12:17:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nnp0x/for_once_i_am_proud_of_myself/
---
(ok seriously this sub has become like my diary where I just rant every pointless thing in my mind, I love y'all and thanks for letting me always get my thoughts out)
Aanyway. Today my little brother's friend came to visit and my family had promised to take him on a boat trip & have a movie night after that. On the boat we had (my favourite!!) chips and ice cream - I ate neither of them.
Now for the movie night they bought lots of different candies and my favourite chocolate, but I ate nothing of that.
Usually I would've lost self control and binged on them all, probably gone to the store after that to buy more, too, but now I just allowed myself two sugar free Werther's originals (about 30 calories, I guess?) instead of the junk food and although my calorie deficit for today is only 400 instead of the planned 1000 I'm still so proud!! Feels good to finally succeed winning my urges. Tomorrow I'm going to try eat only 300 calories & make a 1500-calorie deficit, let's hope that'll go as well as today went!
[Rant/Rave] Breaking a 24 hour 0 cal fast with a single malt scotch
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 12:11:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nnnot/breaking_a_24_hour_0_cal_fast_with_a_single_malt/
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God fucking damn it's like ambrosia from the highland gods.
Followed by an IPA for dessert. shit man...
Also down 1.1 kilos from water weight, food weight, etc. But I'm loving it. Lowest weight this week which never happens after a weekend for me.
[Rant/Rave] Husband rant.
/u/singintherein
Created: Sun Jul 16 12:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nnmsa/husband_rant/
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So we are driving today down the road.... Blah blah blah.
I told him that right now diet pop is the best thing that ever happened to me. He looked at me and said "well you're crazy if you think we are buying pop all the time. Cause we aren't"
Ummmm.... What?
Yeah, we have never before been pop drinkers. (Mostly beer drinkers, but beer has calories... Boo!)
BUT, I am super limiting calories. (under 1000 for the past 5 weeks) and diet pop is the one thing I can use to help an upset stomach and fake out my medicine that used to make me super naseous.
I get it. Pop isn't good for you. (not even diet pop). But he knows how little I am eating and how much progress I am making. I have spent less on groceries in five weeks than he does in a week. Let me have my damn pop....
[Discussion] Article on "American Breakfast" with interesting/helpful infographic!
/u/Andersoncooperspenis [5'6 | CW:😭 | GW:115 |-29| F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 12:02:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nnluq/article_on_american_breakfast_with/
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https://www.vox.com/2016/7/11/12128372/sugar-cereal-breakfast-nutrition-facts
[Goal] New goal: no stepping on the scale until July 31!
/u/aetolica [5'4" | F | 31]
Created: Sun Jul 16 11:51:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nnjhv/new_goal_no_stepping_on_the_scale_until_july_31/
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I have a habit of getting on the scale way too often. Daily fluctuations can lead to depression, depression leads to over-restricting, over-restricting leads to binging (repeat to infinity). So for the rest of the month I'm pledging to not step on the scale, because I know that it isn't helping anything in the long run. Better to just trust CICO and know that I'll get where I need to be without obsessing. Wish me luck :)
How often do you weigh yourself and what have you found most helpful?
[Rant/Rave] I'm on hour 50 now and trying not to jinx myself. Want to see how long I can go! Record is 72 I think. [Rave]
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 99.4| BMI:19.4 l GW 90| -45 l]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:57:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nn855/im_on_hour_50_now_and_trying_not_to_jinx_myself/
---
It's so bizarre how my mind works but after a week of binging something in me snapped and I just... stopped eating altogether. This happens about every 10 days. Like a clock.
But let's take advantage of the loss in appetite while it lasts and ride this out as long as I can!
I swear my ED is similar to bipolar... When I'm not eating I'm literally manic. I'm unstoppable. Like I'm getting my nose pierced on a whim today.
When I'm binging I'm very depressed and want to hide away forever and wallow in my shame.
Totally weird.
[Thinspo] More kpop thinspo
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:49:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nn6jd/more_kpop_thinspo/
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http://pann-choa.blogspot.com/2017/07/instiz-shocking-girl-groups-body-that.html?m=1
[Other] 👏 we 👏 don't 👏 like 👏 rice 👏 cakes 👏 Deborah 👏
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:44:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nn5i2/we_dont_like_rice_cakes_deborah/
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https://i.redd.it/5ex4opo5hz9z.jpg
[Intro] A proper intro.
/u/girlmeetscontrol [6'0 | -15| BMI: 22.16 | GW: 120 | F + gf vegan]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:25:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nn1r5/a_proper_intro/
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I made a throwaway so that I could really keep myself accountable when dealing with my ED. I've always been alone in my journey, which is why I found it comforting to come here. I know no one will judge. I'm working really hard to get back to my dream weight.
So far I'm doing really well today, and reading posts daily inspires me that much more. :-)
[Help] I really need someone to talk to right now.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:23:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nn1am/i_really_need_someone_to_talk_to_right_now/
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I'm really struggling. I'm alone. I really need to vent to someone about serious, negative things. Let me know if you feel able to help me. I understand we're all pretty fragile on this sub, so I'm not expecting a lot, but I have to ask. Thanks.
And I'm asking here of all places because this is the only place in which I have ever felt some sense of belonging.
[Intro] hey im done lurking
/u/orangefantafunk [5'3|HW:126|CW:110|GW:90|F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:04:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nmxf7/hey_im_done_lurking/
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i made a new account so i could actually post here. orangefantafunk (i hope i got my new username right?) signing in.
obligatory life story: i've been suffering from an ED for a while, i also have a bit of a drug problem and really bad social anxiety. recently my ED has taken a back seat to my social anxiety but it's been creeping up again which has inspired me to make this account. nice to meet yall
The way my fridge looks effects my mood. I'm happy today.
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:02:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nmx4k/the_way_my_fridge_looks_effects_my_mood_im_happy/
---
https://i.redd.it/xyv4c1pn9z9z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Physically recovered but mentally??
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57.7kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 10:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nmwlw/physically_recovered_but_mentally/
---
I don't really know how to feel about myself right now. I stopped restricting daily sometime in March. Before that, I used to have a limit of 800cals or lower for about half a year and I had lost about 30lbs from that.
I started to lose my hair in mid February, and honestly it was the hair loss that pushed me over to begin recovery. I don't have thick hair to begin with and when my friends commented that I had a bald spot begin to show, I got terrified and incredibly self conscious. My mum commented on it too, so I knew that I had a problem there.
I really began to eat without restricting towards the end of March, and only recently I began to fall back into my restricting patterns since my hair loss has stopped being so terrifying.
The thing is that, I can't seem to go back to the same level of discipline I had back in the past, and while I apparently look healthier now (my friends said I looked "frail" at one point of time) I hate how my stomach sticks out instead of being flat like how it once was.
I hate how my body seems to say "healthy" but I am far from accepting it and I just want to go back into it. Is this how it's supposed to happen? Because it feels way too difficult to go back.
[Discussion] How do you deal with anxiety?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Sun Jul 16 09:53:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nmv9d/how_do_you_deal_with_anxiety/
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I don't have any of my coping mechanisms at hand, right now. Usually, if I feel anxious I'll make a to—do list and do that. However, I can't make my regular to—do list, because my dad is literally on the other side of the country.
I don't have any money, so I can't go to the store and isolate myself. I'm just here all alone in a stupid—ass instituation and I can't go to bed yet, because it's not even six. I tried to do the dishes, but ended up breaking down.
I don't know how to cope right now, so I've been hugging a teddy bear and counting in my head for about half an hour now.
When I feel this kind of anxiety, I tend to A. Go with coping mechanism, B. Comfort eat. C. B/P I'm trying not to make B or C an option, so I'm pretty lost here.
I'm not sure where else to go, since you're probably the only ones, that would understand my crazy...
Edit: it's also raining like a motherfucker, so I can't do any kind of outdoors stuff, unfortunately :/
[Rant/Rave] All of my pretty friends used to have EDs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 08:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nmhrl/all_of_my_pretty_friends_used_to_have_eds/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Ending the binge cycle.
/u/nikkiethenoot [171 cm| 62.8 | 13F |]
Created: Sun Jul 16 08:29:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nmfhz/ending_the_binge_cycle/
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I had been stuck in a binge cycle for months until about 4 days ago, I finally can manage to restrict, and it honestly makes me feel so.. euphoric? As if I'm on the top of the world, if I can do this, I can do everything. I know this isn't gonna stay for long, but I don't know, it just makes me feel really good and strong for finally being able to do this again after so much binging.
Because of the binging I got up to my highest weight, 65.6 kg, but I've lost 1.5 kg in the past few days, so it's going very fast, and I hope that won't change, even though I know it will eventually..
I just needed to share this because I don't know anyone personally with an ED, so thank all of you for reading:)
Stay strong<3
[Discussion] Stupid question... is eating Shirataki noodles breaking a fast...?
/u/skinnysoleil [5'4 | SW: 165 | CW: 152 | GW: 99 by 2018]
Created: Sun Jul 16 06:54:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nm2t8/stupid_question_is_eating_shirataki_noodles/
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Title. Sorry for starting a thread about this, I just really want opinions.
[Rant/Rave] Woke up with my period and 2 pounds lighter
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sun Jul 16 06:41:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nm0yf/woke_up_with_my_period_and_2_pounds_lighter/
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Idk how, but I'm going with it👍
Tbh with my luck I'll probably be 10 pounds heavier by the end of the day
[Other] |Other| Didn't see a recipe thread so here are some things I tried this week
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Sun Jul 16 06:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nlxu5/other_didnt_see_a_recipe_thread_so_here_are_some/
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Three things for y'all's consideration -
- Taco Bell sauce packets as salad dressing. '0' cals, delicious af.
- Diet soda *shaved ice* w/ sugar free syrup as a summer treat. I've done it with Sprite Zero and SF vanilla and diet Sunkist and oh my god is it refreshing, high yield, and yummy.
- 102 calorie cookie dough! This is for a single serving which is basically a heaping tablespoon but you could double, triple, quadruple this recipe to kill the crave. Mine came out a liiittle too wet so fiddle with it if you want, freezing it for a few minutes helped with the consistency a great deal. Super scrumptious mixed with SF pudding for some extra volume.
~ Mix together 7g of butter, 12ml almond milk/both at room temperature/, 4ml sugar free vanilla syrup/or .25tsp vanilla extract for 5 extra cals/ and a little pinch of stevia. Add 10g of flour and mix until thick, then add desired amount of chocolate chips.
[Goal] Okay, gonna do my first 24 hour 0 cal fast.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 06:13:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nlx9v/okay_gonna_do_my_first_24_hour_0_cal_fast/
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Just realized it's already the afternoon and I haven't wanted anything. I'll extend it as long as possible, though it has to be at least 24 hours. My reward for 24 will be a glass of scotch for dinner. Honestly, it's the only calories that seem worth it right now.
Then I know I won't eat during the day tomorrow (with the exception of piece of fruit), and I already have a plan to skip dinner tomorrow (though it depends on someone else so idk if it'll actually happen but we'll see).
For the first time this year (and probably a lot longer) I'm going to finish this weekend lighter than when I started it.
I love when things can work out and it feels like the universe is on your side.
Edit: officially lighter rn with clothes on than I was this morning when I weighed myself naked. 🙌
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 16, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 16 06:11:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nlx1o/daily_food_diary_july_16_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 16, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 16 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nlwyp/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
Something awful happened last night and I feel like shit and I want to cry
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sun Jul 16 05:13:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nlplh/something_awful_happened_last_night_and_i_feel/
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I went over to this guy I've been talking to's apartment to watch our favorite movie. I wasn't planning on smoking weed but I was like oh sure why not. Well I got stoned as FUCK, like my body was vibrating with lights and I was just high off my ASS. And he barely was. Well he started to kiss me and everything and I could still barely think at this point, long story short after some stuff I told him I was not going to have sex with him without a condom because I didn't want to get pregnant accidentally, and he kept trying to convince me because he conveniently didn't have any condoms and apparently neither of his roommates did.
Well I was still high as fuck but thank God I told him no sex without a condom, well then he's like okay we can do other stuff, and kisses me again and starts like grinding on me and I didn't know he had his pants off but then he tried to slide it in when he was kissing me and I was like no I don't want to have sex without a condom and like moved my leg over and stuff.
And then he was like are you seriously not going to let me just because I don't have a condom and I was like yep and he was like trying to convince me again saying well you just need to trust me it'll be fine, I didn't use condoms at all with the last girl (RED FLAG AF) and then I was like no I'm saying no and he was like well you seemed pretty into it before and I was so high I could barely think. Then he was like okay what do you want me to go to a gas station and get some and I was like yes well then I fell asleep when he left and I woke up ten minutes later and drank some water and I sobered up enough to start crying because I really didn't want to have sex with this guy but I was going to have to. Then I was like no I don't fucking have to, this is AMERICA I don't have to do anything I don't want to! So I called my friend and asked if I could come to her house and told her what was going on and she said yes.
So then as I was leaving he pulls up in his car and I'm like "I'm leaving, I'm not having sex with a guy who tries to convince every girl to have sex without a condom, you fuckboys are all the same" and he was like "are you really leaving? I got ice cream" and I was like yes fuck off.
[Discussion] (Discussion) Going to a party where there will be tonnes of food, how to not overeat?
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 52kg | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 04:24:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nljza/discussion_going_to_a_party_where_there_will_be/
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I've been doing so well lately. Even though I'm not counting calories anymore, I'm eating way less and so cleanly, no carbs, as well as going swimming everyday. And I can SEE my stomach getting a tiny bit flatter. It's the most progress I've made in months.
Tonight I'm going to a Filipino party with my mum which I can't get out of (and if you know anything about Filipinos it's that they love their food and most of it is carb/fat heavy).
How do I go there and not end up bingeing and accepting every offer of food?? Any tips?
[Rant/Rave] Thinking deep and sad
/u/Smooth_N_Groove
Created: Sun Jul 16 04:01:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nlhiu/thinking_deep_and_sad/
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I just feel like I'm so undeserving of everything I have and all my problems are just my fault. The only way I can cope with how awful of a person I am is to punish myself. But even that is selfish. Sometimes I just don't want to exist but I also don't want to burden anyone else with my problems. God I'm a waste. Does anyone just want to watch everyone else live and not have them know you're there? Not have anyone know you exist, no expectations or obligations, you could just watch the world turn in peace. Sit on top of a grassy hill and watch the cars drive past in the city below. *sigh*
[Rant/Rave] Caught out by my best friend
/u/dlt117
Created: Sun Jul 16 02:11:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nl696/caught_out_by_my_best_friend/
---
Years ago, my best friend and I both suffered through our EDs together. Sharing thinspo, talking about our losses, gains, methods and - of course - food.
But over the last 5 years we have both put a lot of effort into recovery. Both essentially achieving as close to normal as we could ever be.
But over the last few weeks I've spiralled - there's a lot of shit in my life right now and to be honest, I need this.
Out for dinner at a pub and I ordered a Mac and cheese burger (delicious! But I knew I'd be purging it). I excuse myself to the bathroom while she's taking orders for the next round. When i come out the bathroom, she's washing her hands and immediately knows.
And she's supportive but I feel like an attention seeking shit. She's promised not to say a word for now. Let me get it back under control.
Just so deflated. The pride i had in myself for the weight I've lost and will power I gained back is completely gone.
[Intro] lurked for a while on another account and finally decided to join
/u/leezyleezy [5'5 | CW: 124 | BMI: 20.6 | GW: 105 | -25 lbs | 16F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 02:00:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nl540/lurked_for_a_while_on_another_account_and_finally/
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so i had another account, but i'm friends with a bunch of people on there so i obvs can't go around posting this shit where they can find it.
people call me leezy but that's not my full name. Alongside my ADHD and Bipolar disorder (geez leezy, overshare much?), I've had an ED (or maybe not an ED, maybe just disordered eating) for about a year and a half. I thought I was recovering but nope, I'm not. And I don't really care anymore, I'm happy with my eating habits if they'll keep me from being fat. I kind of cycle between b/p and restricting, while occasionally straight up binging, so a bit of everything (why am i like this, lmk).
last year, i went on a two month steady binge that left me at 150 lbs (I was 5'4). I restricted to get myself down to 124 and 5'5, and b/p to maintain my weight.
i'm definitely in the "healthy" BMI range, but I'm not satisfied, I want to be underweight. I'm not the "fat friend" but I am the heaviest, (my two best friends are both below 110 naturally, fuck em [jk love them, but it seriously ain't fair]). More than that I just want to look good. NGL I have a pretty face. I'm just too fat and I hate myself for it. I'll stop losing once I look good in anything, once people would call me "thin".
Recently I've just been purging to stop myself from gaining weight, because I was trying to be careful: worried that if I restricted I'd die from a heart attack or some crazy shit. But I finally gave in: for the past few days I've been restricting a ton, and it's never been easier. I've stopped taking my antipsychotics because they drive my appetite up like crazy, and they are the reason I b/p in the first place. I haven't eaten more than 2000 cals the past four days, which I'm really proud of. I'm NOT happy with my body at the moment, but I'm very happy to be restricting again. Without my meds driving my appetite unnaturally up the wall, restricting feels so natural to me. This is how I'm supposed to be, which kind of sucks but I'm pretty okay with it.
Just wanted to say hi, introduce myself. I kind of sound like a bitch here but I'm actually really friendly and love human interaction, so if anybody ever wants to chat about anything, even if it's not ED related, I'm here. :)
-leezy
[Help] Wide hips?
/u/liesllane
Created: Sun Jul 16 01:24:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nl1e5/wide_hips/
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I have wide hips and I can feel the bones, and they're really far apart. If I get as thin as I'd like to be, is it going to look weird? Will they be too far apart?
[Rant/Rave] I miss restricting :c
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 16 01:06:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nkzez/i_miss_restricting_c/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Wrote a poem about bulimia yikes
/u/deviroxx [5'5 | CW: 129 | 21.2 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 16 00:01:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nkrl8/wrote_a_poem_about_bulimia_yikes/
---
My mother has always been
A mentor and a role model.
She took pride in herself---
In her billowing hair,
In her slight and willowy frame,
In the way men would change their tone
In an attempt to win her heart.
My mother has always wanted
The best for me, her child.
She took pride in having
A thin daughter
With long dark hair.
Which is why I was told
At the age of 9
To watch what I was eating.
Which is why at the age of 13
I decided to start skipping meals.
To take the sweetness of sugar from my childhood
To practice math by counting my calories
And to perfect linguistics through lies:
“I already ate, but thank you!”
“I’m not very hungry right now.”
She took pride in a beautiful daughter.
Which is why at the age of 16, I kneel.
Defeated.
Two fingers plunging down my throat,
Regurgitating the hour’s regret.
So thank you, mother.
For teaching me how to be delicate.
Because despite my exhaustion,
And oh, am I *exhausted*,
I am beautiful.
Wrote a poem about bulimia yikes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 23:51:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nkqbd/wrote_a_poem_about_bulimia_yikes/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Why did I think a night with my mom would make me feel better??
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Sat Jul 15 23:47:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nkpus/why_did_i_think_a_night_with_my_mom_would_make_me/
---
For a couple of weeks now I've been experiencing disordered eating habits. I've been right on the border of getting help after several friends told me I've gotten too skinny too fast.. I don't want this to turn into a habit ya know?
I realized that it all started after a few really shitty things happened and I started binge eating... I've always been a very healthy eater and avid exerciser so I've been consistently maintaining or, if anything, losing for several years now. I had a VERY tough two months and put on about 15 lbs.... that's a lot on a 5'2" 110 lb body. I went to doctors and specialists.. they all claimed it was something emotional so I gave up. Eventually I went home for a weekend and ended up having an emotional breakdown.... I confided in my parents and begged for help. The only response I got was my mom telling me "yeah, you're looking a lot fuller in the face."
Ever since then I've been strictly restricting and purging. I've lost over 20 lbs in less about a month-- my lowest weight since elementary school. Today I saw my parents for the first time again. I am definitely not ready to be done restricting so I spent the whole night adjusting my shirt and pulling up my shorts so they didn't notice the extreme loss. My ribs and hip bones now protrude... my collarbones very distinct. The only comment I got from my mother was when I tried to order a frozen lemonade... I worked for 10 hours today walking over 5 miles... I told her all I had eaten was some goldfish.... the response I received was "are you sure you need that?"
I thought she would say something about me being skinny.. or at least back to normal. But no. She made me feel worse than before. Now I'm even more motivated.... next time I see her I WILL be skin and bones. I WILL make her sorry she ever commented on my weight.
[Intro] Coming out of my cave because Anxiety About The Future™
/u/c_ream [5'3.5 | 119 lbs | 20.7 | F | 🍠]
Created: Sat Jul 15 23:42:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nkp5d/coming_out_of_my_cave_because_anxiety_about_the/
---
Hi yall I'm starting college this fall and I'm really worried because 1)I'm moving from the west coast to the east coast and it's gonna be hecka cold and 2)I've always idealized college as a time when I'd be free and independent and I'd finally be able to do what I want and lose weight and everything would be okay. But I'm worried that all independence is gonna do is reveal that I have no self control and I'll never be able to have the body I want or be the person I wish I were.
Also, I have to lose weight for college since it's a fresh start and I can at least *pretend* to be the person I wish I were, right? Anyways, long time lurker and newly converted Halo Top worshipper.
[Tip] What do you put in your coffee?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 22:30:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nkfdc/what_do_you_put_in_your_coffee/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] getting out on the spot makes me sooooo uncomfortable
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 21:29:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nk65y/getting_out_on_the_spot_makes_me_sooooo/
---
I was with friends all day and at least nah I didn't eat much, didn't think anybody noticed, but then at dinner I was just nibbling on my veggie burger and this girl (super sweet and total mom of the group) was like "pey why aren't you eating? you didn't eat much lunch, u ok?" and then they were all looking at me like "are you ok?"
yikes
I love having such nice and caring friends but I felt so awkward and didn't know what to say
[Rant/Rave] Tiny bra size rave
/u/bluevelvet3011
Created: Sat Jul 15 21:04:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nk28s/tiny_bra_size_rave/
---
I've been losing a decent amount of weight lately - 9lbs in a few weeks - and I've been feeling good about the achievement, but I haven't really noticed much changes in my body, despite being at my lowest weight in 4 years.
But today I decided I would measure my bra size again, because it has been at least a year since last time and I've lost weight since then and I also noticed today that my 32D bra has become a little too loose in the band even on the tightest hook. Well after measuring - turns out I am down to a 30 band!!!
I'm feeling proud af, because most clothing stores here don't even carry 30 bands - 32 is the smallest. This really brightened my day, and I needed it.
(Also shout out to /r/ABraThatFits and [this bra size calculator](http://www.brasizecalculator.tk/) - a lot of women are not measuring properly and wearing the wrong size.)
[Rant/Rave] (Rant) My doctors say I have anemia caused by my restrictive eating and want to put me in treatment
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Sat Jul 15 20:54:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nk0k9/rant_my_doctors_say_i_have_anemia_caused_by_my/
---
For a while now, I've been able to keep my ED pretty secret. I eat around my friends and my dad, and make up for it by fasting when I am alone. Usually, I just claim that I don't feel good when I'm with people so I don't have to eat much, and I never finish a plate. But here lately, I've been getting light headed out of the blue and have been extremely tired, and when I mentioned it to my psychiatrist, she ordered blood work to the local hospital. Apparently, my hemoglobin and iron levels are drastically low which brought them to question my eating habits. My dad told them about how I usually 'don't feel well enough to eat' and when I do eat, I don't eat much of anything. I suppose my psychiatrist put it in my file, and my counselor mentioned it to me and is starting to catch on. I assured her that I'm fine, but now she thinks we need to work on that during our sessions and I can't stand it. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to work on it, and I damn sure don't want to change my eating habits.. what do I do in a situation like this? I'm not even thin, or unhealthy.. why change anything that doesn't need to be changed?
[Rant/Rave] I really want to binge right now. [TW]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 20:50:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6njzzk/i_really_want_to_binge_right_now_tw/
---
[deleted]
[Other] To The Bone: Streaming in 30 Minutes!
/u/babyslug [5'0 | CW: 83 | 22 | F | 🍑: @babyslug]
Created: Sat Jul 15 20:28:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6njwg2/to_the_bone_streaming_in_30_minutes/
---
Hello /r/proED friends!
Streaming of To The Bone will begin in 30 minutes. The room is [here](https://www.rabb.it/babyslug).
When you enter the room, just know:
- To change the default “Guest” display name, click on your rabbit icon, and change it under the Profile tab.
- I will most likely zone out and not pay a ton of attention to the chat. BUT!! We are not a locked community and the room itself is not private. If anyone is harassing you or just generally making you uncomfortable, please let me know via PM on reddit or DM on peach (@babyslug). They will get a warning to stop or be kicked right away.
- While I get that rabb.it is not Reddit, the rules of the sub will still be enforced. If I see something that breaks sub rules, you will get a warning. If you for some ungodly reason do that again, you will be kicked.
- Last, but not least, I hope you enjoy the movie! if not for the plot, then just for any terribad writing.
___
If this should have gone into the megathread, I apologize! I can delete if need be. :)
[Rant/Rave] My girlfriend just told me to stop binging.
/u/pm_me_dog_picz
Created: Sat Jul 15 20:15:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nju7b/my_girlfriend_just_told_me_to_stop_binging/
---
I've been binging in front of her all night, I was just about to eat a bagel when she said, "Are you sure you should eat that?"
She quickly backtracked - " - not that I mind, it definitely doesnt bother me, but just so you dont feel bad about it tomorrow..." which I mean is fair.
I've told her to call me out on binges in the past but jesus that hurt. I feel so fucking disgusting. I'm never eating again.
[Rant/Rave] My bike came from Amazon!!! Time to use it a hour everyday 🙂🙂🙂
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Sat Jul 15 19:45:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6njpbf/my_bike_came_from_amazon_time_to_use_it_a_hour/
---
https://i.redd.it/c9mxpmwp0v9z.jpg
[Discussion] DAE watch the FOOD network in place of eating really indulgent food?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Sat Jul 15 19:28:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6njmiw/dae_watch_the_food_network_in_place_of_eating/
---
I pretty much limit myself to my safe foods at all times, and I'd say I am pretty good about that because I get all my food-derived pleasure from watching cooking shows and watching other people eat the various gourmet and high-cal foods. Am I the only one?
[Rant/Rave] I managed not to binge last night...
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Sat Jul 15 19:02:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6njicb/i_managed_not_to_binge_last_night/
---
I ordered Chinese delivery to my job last night.
They "missed" my order(???!?!??!!??!) Then when I called, there was construction going on and the cops literally would not let the dude come bring me my food so he detoured, came around on the OTHER side of the road, and literally RAN across a normally busy road in the middle of the night to make sure I got the food
So like, super grateful to that sweet dude, but Jesus Christ it's unprofessional as FUCK to "miss" an order. This is not the first time, either. It's got WAY too big of a delivery radius and is near a big state run college (also I had ordered the food with PLENTY of time for it to get here before the road closed)
After all of that, I didn't even really want any of the food anymore, so most of it is sitting in the fridge at work. :/ I spent the money in binge food for nothing, and I regret it.
I'm still so fucking mad at that restaurant. But they're the ONLY ones open that late. They close at 3am
Edit: BUT APPARENTLY I HIT A NEW LOW WEIGHT THIS MORNING SO THIS IS NOW A RAVE NOT A RANT HELLO 95.6 MY NEW FRIEND
[Rant/Rave] Not allowed to be discharged until I eat something
/u/lampshade59
Created: Sat Jul 15 18:51:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6njgkg/not_allowed_to_be_discharged_until_i_eat_something/
---
Lol so I got admitted to hospital for an infection that caused diarrhoea and vomiting. Haven't eaten since Friday. Waiting to be discharged but they refuse to let me go until I've eaten something. I don't want to eat because 1. No appetite 2. The lady next to me was vomiting all morning 3. I'm scared of getting sick again.
They have no clue about my history of disordered eating, that I've lost 30lbs (13.6kg) since April etc. but anyway because this is just a general medical ward, I scraped all the food under the blanket on my bed. They won't change the bed until I've left.
I overheard this nurse bragging about how she got me to eat and the other nurse going "woo hoo!"
Lol I wish I could be a fly on the wall when they change my sheets and find all the food 😂
[Other] For once I have no will to eat
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sat Jul 15 18:09:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nj9au/for_once_i_have_no_will_to_eat/
---
Because my depression is worse than ever
And today marks the day I officially have no friends living within a 100 mile radius of me...
[Rant/Rave] Why did I say yes to family dinner?
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Sat Jul 15 17:36:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nj3vp/why_did_i_say_yes_to_family_dinner/
---
Why did I decide to say yes to dinner with my family? I could have just stayed home and eaten an Amy's light and lean, or not eaten at all, but now we are going to get Chinese food and there will be rice (which is like my ultimate weakness) and I feel so stupid and anxious. I don't know what to get and I should have just stayed home and I feel like a dumbo who doesn't need to eat and I'm watching To the Bone and I'm so jealous of lily collins and just ugh
[Other] Taking one for the team.
/u/bir_die [🌸 5'8" | 117.6 | 17.69 | GW: 115 | 23 Bird 🌸]
Created: Sat Jul 15 17:33:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nj3ez/taking_one_for_the_team/
---
http://i.imgur.com/IYE6hNf.jpg
[Rant/Rave] you ever just...
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 15 17:23:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nj1pt/you_ever_just/
---
Catch a glimpse of your reflection when you're out and feel yourself mentally shrivel up? I wonder what it's like to be able to look into a mirror or window or any reflection and just at least be at peace with what you see.
[Discussion] Just had french fries and wanna cry. How do you all keep it together when you eat something you don't want to eat in public?
/u/kVIIIwithan8 [64'' | 142lbs | 24.37 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 17:22:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nj1hc/just_had_french_fries_and_wanna_cry_how_do_you/
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I work at a restaurant and we don't serve much that would be considered "healthy" or low calorie. I started to get that mindfog from not eating so I broke and had half an order of fries. Now, I can't go purging at work and I can't cry about it either. :( How do you all keep it together in situations like these?
[Other] Heads Up Canadians: Green Giant's Veggie Tots Have Arrived!
/u/stealthmode_activate [5'1 | 133.6 | 25.24/26.36 | -102.2 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 17:20:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nj1aw/heads_up_canadians_green_giants_veggie_tots_have/
---
I may have squealed and cackled in the frozen vegetable aisle at Safeway. This may have been audible enough for people to stare. One of those people may have been an elderly Scottish gent entering the aisle and passing by right as I noted to my mother that I was pretty sure half the store just heard the excited screams of a crazy lady. Said Scottie may have given me a mischievous wink and quipped he'd grab my digits later, followed by scaring his elderly wife when we met in the next aisle as he playfully tried to keep her away from "that lady she's crazy".
Seriously though, I was pretty fucking excited to finally see [Green Giant Veggie Tots, Mash, and Rice](https://www.greengiant.com/new-products/) finally make it across the border where I am. So if you, like myself, have been hoping and waiting for it to arrive it's time to start stalking the frozen vegetable aisles of your grocery stores. Just try not to loudly squeal and cackle like a crazy woman when you find them.
[Discussion] Netflix's new movie...
/u/caLAfrownia [172CM | 125 | 19.9 | 5lb | Female]
Created: Sat Jul 15 17:18:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nj0sq/netflixs_new_movie/
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So I heard multiple views on Netflix's new movie "to the bone" movie ... my recovery girls are offended by the movie.. Ive been through treatment 5 times.. I'm no where looking to recover again right now but ED is creeping back in .. slowly but then again really fast.
I read an article that popped up on Facebook yesterday the head was
"if you're looking to relapse, you better watch to the bone.."
like don't get me wrong.. I'm relapsing... but like do I want to go hard core back in.. thats why I have been stalling on watching this movie.. has anyone watched this movie? what did you think? what was your experience? how was ED?
[Rant/Rave] I gained so much weight, I just need to be skinny again
/u/penguin368
Created: Sat Jul 15 16:55:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6niwld/i_gained_so_much_weight_i_just_need_to_be_skinny/
---
140 fucking lbs.
I can't believe that's how much I weigh again, I haven't even weighed myself in a few days so I don't know if I weigh more. I've just been eating so much junk food and I feel awful and depressed all the time because of it. I need to start restricting again, I can't keep living like this and being addicted to food.
My goal is 90 lbs and I'm hoping to get there by next summer because I'm going to the Netherlands then. I have been visiting my family and friends in New York but I'm going back to my home in the south on Tuesday and I hope that having a change of environment and not smoking a bunch of weed everyday will help me eat less. I also might want to get into treatment for my eating disorder but I don't know. My therapist and psychiatrist aren't much help with it.
I don't know what else to say I just needed to vent my thoughts. I hope yall are having a wonderful day :)
[Rant/Rave] Her birthday was over a month ago. I have two babies under two and this woman is a main source of anxiety for me, that contributes to my eating disorder. Also I didn't forget her birthday, just didn't have money to buy gifts.
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Sat Jul 15 16:46:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6niuzk/her_birthday_was_over_a_month_ago_i_have_two/
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https://i.redd.it/qsmxo79p4u9z.jpg
[Tip] How to stay functional while B/Ping
/u/Kusadama_xx
Created: Sat Jul 15 16:18:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6niq4g/how_to_stay_functional_while_bping/
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Hey guys! I relapsed a couple days ago and am doing fine since then, but but if I do B/P again I might as well be as safe as possible about it, so I decided to post this. Please comment anything you have to add!
**Hydration**
I learned in treatment that the body needs protein, glucose, and electrolytes in order to be fully hydrated, so keep that in mind. If you're not ok with eating much, bananas are usually pretty good post-purge. I get so shaky afterward, but the more I eat, the better it is. And make sure to drink plenty of water.
**Teeth**
Do NOT brush your teeth right after purging; it just rubs the acid in. Rinse your mouth with water immediately afterward and brush your teeth 20-30 minutes later.
**Hands**
Keep the nails of the fingers you use to purge trimmed short so that you don't cut your throat. Put on hand lotion after washing them—stomach acid damages them. (Also put on lip balm for this reason.) Vitamin E oil is good for knuckle scars if you get those.
**Face**
Dehydration can be a big factor in acne, so see my above tips for that. Also wash your face and put on moisturizer after you purge. If you don't have time, aren't at home, or don't feel like it (like me 90% of the time haha) use a cleansing/moisturizing facial wipe.
[Goal] [Goal] making progress!
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 16:17:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6niq0m/goal_making_progress/
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According to CICO I should be down 7 pounds from 20 days ago, which I think puts me at 100 pounds. I haven't weighed because I'm terrified of my scale and I have three more pounds to lose before I hit my goal for the month, but it's nice to know I'm making progress even if I can't see it on myself.
[Other] Breyer's is releasing new low calorie ice cream (on par with Halo Tops calories!!!)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 16:15:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nipk6/breyers_is_releasing_new_low_calorie_ice_cream_on/
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http://www.abc2news.com/simplemost/breyers-launching-new-low-calorie-ice-cream-just-time-summer-season
[Rant/Rave] Gotta convince my parents to buy some Halo Top
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 16:13:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nip8k/gotta_convince_my_parents_to_buy_some_halo_top/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] |Help/Discussion/Advice| KBBQ dinner decision dilemma
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Sat Jul 15 16:13:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nip83/helpdiscussionadvice_kbbq_dinner_decision_dilemma/
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Would anyone be kind enough to recommend the lowest looking option from this restaurant's dinner menu?
http://www.bellyqchicago.com/menus
Everything looks so....calorically dense, terrifying, delicious and I've already had my cheat meal this week...I can go up to 800 calories semi-comfortably to have a 770 weekly average...I'm thinking the kale papaya salad w/ the dressing on the side but I know there will be pressure to get more than that...thanks in advance :/
/edit ahh I hope this isn't breaking any rules, if so I'll delete it
//UPDATE - Ended up not even going! Lol crisis averted. Isn't it funny how life works and how we worry over nothing sometimes :')
[Discussion] Heads up guys, our To The Bone megathread was linked in /r/netflix. We might get some people coming over trying to "save" us.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 15:38:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6niinr/heads_up_guys_our_to_the_bone_megathread_was/
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[removed]
[Humor] Reddit fueling my halo top addiction..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 14:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nia3i/reddit_fueling_my_halo_top_addiction/
---
https://i.redd.it/z2mav1jgkt9z.png
[Other] I just realized that I was skinny
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 14:50:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ni9gh/i_just_realized_that_i_was_skinny/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Back to paradise (no sarcasm whatsoever)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 15 14:40:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ni7ef/back_to_paradise_no_sarcasm_whatsoever/
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On mobile so flair as rant rave
I just spent the last three days with my SO in DC exploring and probably eating more than I normally do and here I am back in the city I live in.
It's a stretch to call it home cause I don't feel like I belong. No one gives a shit.
I feel really depressed and like I can't eat at all after the past three days or so. I hate myself. I want to cook something but I know it would just be a binge so I am holding out and going to try and sleep.
I wish I could have just stayed with my SO but I'm supposed to save and move at the end of the year. I was supposed to be thin by then..
Willow.
Restricting is the only thing that brings me joy anymore - thank you.
/u/ibrokethecookiejar [5'1 | CW: lost | GW: invisible | 21F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 14:39:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ni7ck/restricting_is_the_only_thing_that_brings_me_joy/
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[removed]
[Discussion] acne from purging
/u/lalaoiua
Created: Sat Jul 15 14:03:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ni0es/acne_from_purging/
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anyone get chin acne from purging? god fucking FUCK it's the worst. Maybe wearing gloves with help
cant flair
[Rant/Rave] So I had a bad reddit experience and went back to MPA
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 13:56:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhz0y/so_i_had_a_bad_reddit_experience_and_went_back_to/
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god id forgotten how toxic that place is nope nope nope I'm back
I made a post in the rant forum about how much I hate the fat acceptance movement and got legit kinda bullied by this guy who had this idea that me ranting about fat acceptance = I'm a cunt to fat people, so he went around making passive aggressive rants about "certain MPA user(s)" and when I called him out on them he claimed they weren't about me and that I just don't like him because he's a guy
whew this community is so much more chill
[Discussion] The bottle feeding scene in To The Bone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 13:45:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhww0/the_bottle_feeding_scene_in_to_the_bone/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Jul 15 13:31:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhu83/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/7q8xegm06t9z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Recovery might be possible for me after all <3
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 13:22:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhsdf/recovery_might_be_possible_for_me_after_all_3/
---
I just realized that a big part of why I still am so obsessed with food and weight is because I live with 4 other people who bring all kinds of food into my living space, and I obviously can't control that. But that made me realize that I might actually be able to recover (at least partially) once I'm living on my own. My bmi is around 20, so I obviously wouldn't want/need to gain weight, but I might be able to get to a point where I don't need to count calories and shit once I'm living alone. I feel so hopeful right now. And like, even if I still count calories, it's possible I won't be as stressed about food nearly as much after I'm able to control which foods are around me.
[Discussion] On a scale of "normal" to "totally lost it," how insane would it be to take my scale with me on vacation?
/u/aconnescaper [64 in | 137.6 lbs | 22.9 bmi | -14.4 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 12:53:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhmlv/on_a_scale_of_normal_to_totally_lost_it_how/
---
Gonna be gone for months, and shit, I'd hate to not be able to see the number. I'm pretty sure I could hide it in my suitcase pretty easily. Would be mortified if anyone saw, though.
Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] rough couple of days
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Sat Jul 15 12:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhela/rough_couple_of_days/
---
Ran out of safe food.
Dragged my sorry ass to Trader Joe's telling myself I was going to buy Greek yogurt, individually-packaged oatmeal, and nothing else.
Spent two hours wandering around Trader Joe's in a haze, picking things up and cringing away from the calories like some kinda vampire confronted with garlic.
Called my ex (EDNOS) to bitch. Endured two hours of "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" and "how can you do this after what I've been through?" and "eat the cheese for me, okay? Eat all the cheese. Inhale the cheese like some sort of monstrous cheese vacuum. Scour the cheese from this unclean earth."
Spent a significant portion of time cowering behind a display table like a weirdo.
Finally grabbed a random selection of low-calorie sandwich-type food, cursing myself for being a disgusting foodbeast, and charged out the door. Ex begged me to please buy and eat something. I caved and got two Clif bars.
My stomach can no longer handle Clif bars. Spent the bike ride home swallowing nausea, cursing myself for having digestive side effects from restriction while still fucking fat, and cursing mentally at my damned ex.
Ex phoned me this morning to tell me she was proud of me and I'd done a brave thing. My reply was not kind or generous. We argued at length for 2 hours before she hung up.
Can't shake the feeling that everyone around me is trying to sabotage me: ex wants me to fail where she succeeded (getting down to a LW of 85 lbs), my housemates want me to eat entire tubs of ice cream before dinner alongside them, my buddies want me to stay the fat friend. No more.
Feel like a fucking failure for eating the goddam Clif bars. My week of restriction just went up in smoke. I have no damn self-control anymore--feels like I turned right back into a ravenous foodbeast.
Don't know what I'm supposed to tell my therapist tomorrow. I ate the Clif bars and I'm probably gonna eat the sandwiches--like a fucking healthy normal person.
I feel like I'm too fat to ask for any kind of help*. My therapist wants me to start IOP. I don't want to be "the fat guy" there. My head is fucked.
*my CW is pretty much medically ideal by BMI. My GW would almost certainly put me in the hospital (I have hypotension and start passing out at a BMI of around 19).
[Rant/Rave] binge urges
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 12:11:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhe2m/binge_urges/
---
[deleted]
[Other] halo top is $3.99 at Whole Foods 😈
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | ✨]
Created: Sat Jul 15 12:09:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhdux/halo_top_is_399_at_whole_foods/
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https://i.redd.it/z0jjo1cfrs9z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Hell yeah! Intro/Rave
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 12:08:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhdnq/hell_yeah_introrave/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just binged on a massive green salad pray for me
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 12:05:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nhcxc/just_binged_on_a_massive_green_salad_pray_for_me/
---
I've been on the verge of a binge. Went for a walk. Came home, already ate my dinner too early, still hungry. Decided to use some left over veggies to make a salad and I wasn't allowed to leave the house until I finished it.
- package of arugala
- half a head of cabbage
- 1 whole cucumber
- cup and a half of honeydew melon
- 3 spring onions
- 1 tbsp of olive oil
- fuckton of apple cider vinegar
- salt and pepper
Fucker filled up a whole salad bowl and it was so good I at the whole thing. I'm in agony but better a healthy salad than McDonalds, plus my colon will be fucking sparkly after this passes (in like a week).
Now I'm going to lay on my couch and contemplate my life choices...
Edit: just weighed myself and I'm up a kilo. I ate a kilogram of salad. fuuuuuuuuuck me
[Help] 😂 someone help
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 11:47:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nh9h5/someone_help/
---
https://www.livestrong.com/article/13429432-just-smelling-food-can-make-you-gain-weight
Are you ever just so done you can't do anything but cackle?? I'm literally laughing my ass off right now in craziness. Is there no winning!!!!!
The other day I literally had my head in the tin of brownies someone brought in to work while no one was around, just to smell them because I can't//won't eat them.
Is there nothing left hahaha somebody please help lmao
It's nice to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes
What is this subreddit about?
/u/oliviapope1
Created: Sat Jul 15 11:33:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nh6k9/what_is_this_subreddit_about/
---
[removed]
[Help] does anyone else have this problem...?
/u/bovidaes [5'5 | -30 lbs | CGW: 120]
Created: Sat Jul 15 11:28:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nh5ed/does_anyone_else_have_this_problem/
---
i want to be clear that i'm not asking for advice, since i know that's against the rules of this sub.
so i don't know what i have. ednos i guess, because i have traits of anorexia and bulimia on and off (weird, i know). but i'm just curious of anyone has this same problem.
whenever i make myself throw up, i'm only able to throw up a little bit at a time. i end up having to throw up like 10 times to get it all out. i don't know if it's just me, or if this is a common problem that any of you have.
thanks in advance!
[Rant/Rave] The Implication
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Sat Jul 15 11:25:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nh4ti/the_implication/
---
No, calm down, Dennis.
I told her that I had a problem. She knew what it was, she didn't even have to say. All I ever talk about is calories anyway.
Went surprisingly well. Didn't plan this. I don't feel entirely alone anymore.
It's funny, considering I've only known her a month.
[Help] I'm trying to come back.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 11:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nh49t/im_trying_to_come_back/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE have weird or gross fantasies about removing body fat?
/u/cum-here-honey
Created: Sat Jul 15 10:50:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ngxrk/dae_have_weird_or_gross_fantasies_about_removing/
---
I've always had two fantasies about getting rid of all of my horrible fat, DAE do this?
Usually I imagine myself peeling away my skin like a suit, with all of my fat coming off in one layer. Underneath I picture a skinny, perfect version of myself (with a new skin). I also try to visualise what parts of my body have more fat and hence where the peeled skin would be thicker (gross, I know!)
My other fantasy is to make a cut in my skin and get some kind of magical vacuum to suck out all of the fat. I take weird pleasure from imagining myself running the vacuum over the surface of my skin and seeing all of the fat bubble from underneath, then be dragged out of my body forever.
What are your fantasies (if you have them)?
[Rant/Rave] I've resigned myself to this
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sat Jul 15 10:46:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ngx0m/ive_resigned_myself_to_this/
---
Last night, after binging and purging three times, I had sudden clarity. I'm sick of fighting my ED. I'm sick of trying to be healthy because it seems to only make things worse. I've resigned myself to restricting, and I'm accepting it. Being skinny is the only thing that has ever made me happy, and this is the only way I've ever successfully gotten there.
I'm done fighting it, I'm done trying to convince myself that I can "just eat normally". I don't care about being obsessed with the numbers, because I know deep down I love it. I love weighing and measuring everything. I live to focus on it, and I've always fought that. I won't anymore though. I'm going to do this perfectly.
[Help] Guys help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 10:14:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ngqmf/guys_help/
---
[deleted]
Any fruit and veggie diets?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 10:07:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ngpcz/any_fruit_and_veggie_diets/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] having such a hard time
/u/hawaiianhaole01 [5'6 | 120.2 | 19.1 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 09:50:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nglwv/rant_having_such_a_hard_time/
---
Ugh. My gf of 1.5 years decided she doesn't want to be with me anymore after dragging me through he'll and back with an opiate addiction. I gave up everything for her (literally, my savings, moved across the country, got her a cc on my name only to have her max it out) only to say she wants to sleep with other people and that she s not happy. I'm in this new town where I don't know anyone and don't have anything.
I haven't been sleeping, haven't been eating . Even when I try, I feel sick to my stomach. I mean, on the plus side, I've lost a lot of weight in the past week and people are commenting. I think I've hit my lowest adult weight and feel like I can keep going. I finally feel like I look good. My chest bones are showing, my hips stick out when I'm standing and you can see my ribs faintly. It really helps that even tho I'm hungry, I have no appetite.
Bad thing is that I promised her I'd go to outpatient and I have an appointment next week for that. I'm not too sure I really want to recover anymore. But I also wanna be better than I ever was with her and make her upset.
[Thinspo] Red Velvet Wendy and her ribs
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sat Jul 15 09:46:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ngl6q/red_velvet_wendy_and_her_ribs/
---
https://m.imgur.com/a/l5LE4
[Rant/Rave] new low weight woohoo!
/u/burner40 [169 cm | CW: 119 | BMI: 18.9 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Sat Jul 15 09:27:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nghng/new_low_weight_woohoo/
---
haha i don't have any friends irl who know about my ED so i figured i'd celebrate with you guys about hitting my lowest weight since 7th grade (122.4) i pretty much cried when i saw that number on the scale this morning and i can't imagine how good it'll feel when i break into the teens 🙏🏽☺️
also, this was probably due to a few days of fasting this week for medical procedures. thanks sickly body (lol)
[Discussion] [discussion] just watched Starving in Suburbia for the first time
/u/lowkeydeadinside
Created: Sat Jul 15 09:20:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nggbr/discussion_just_watched_starving_in_suburbia_for/
---
i loved it! boys with eds are never represented and i loved that his was so hidden because of wrestling. that's honestly just a normal thing with wrestlers but no one ever acknowledges it. i liked the main character too, but i just really liked that males were represented even though it wasn't *about* him
EC stack ... should I do it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 09:04:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ngdef/ec_stack_should_i_do_it/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] You guys, I got went out last night, got drunk, ate fast food and it was only 440 calories. [rave]
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Sat Jul 15 08:44:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ng9to/you_guys_i_got_went_out_last_night_got_drunk_ate/
---
I'm so happy. My friends invited me to go out and I was soo nervous and freaking out because alcohol has so many calories and I knew if I got drunk I would pig out on tacos or something. I've been avoiding going out with them for a while but I miss it.
I didn't eat all day, so two 4oz glasses of Chardonnay (200 calories) got me pretty drunk.
Later we ended up at Cookout and I didn't even have to use willpower to not order a quesadilla and fries and burger, I literally just didn't want any of it at all even though I was drunk, I just got an order of 5 nuggets (240 cal) and ate that.
My total calories for the day being under 500 and still getting to go out with my friends makes me feel like I might not actually have to keep sacrificing my social life :)
Idk I'm just happy and proud and needed to tell someone. I'm on a streak of restriction and I can't wait to weigh myself when I get back to my hometown.
[Rant/Rave] Crying crying crying crying
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Sat Jul 15 08:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ng62h/crying_crying_crying_crying/
---
So I'm a size 16. Not pretty I know. But I don't usually feel *super* terrible about it when I make an effort - showered, makeup, jewelry, nice clothes, Spanx, etc. I hate myself obvi but I can at least tolerate my appearance to have a good time usually.
Bridesmaids dresses slayed me yesterday. Because I'm trying on dresses that are a solid 4 sizes too small (because this is a rich lady boutique and fuck fat people, right?) that the sales ladies are literally yanking onto me. While the two other girls (size 8 and size 4) are just slipping effortlessly into everything they want to try.
I had to hold it together and look excited and happy. I haven't stopped crying since yesterday when I got home. And the kicker is that I have to go do this again in about 10 minutes. God help me.
[Rant/Rave] Highest weight in four years
/u/DeusOff [5'7.5" | 127.8lb | 19.6 | -0lb | UGW:90lb | 19NB]
Created: Sat Jul 15 07:40:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfzc8/highest_weight_in_four_years/
---
I just weighed myself for the first time after being "better" for a while... 127.8lb. That's the highest my weight has been in about four years. I'm disgusted and I only just stopped crying (tearing up writing this).
I'm slowly getting back on track. Ate 542 calories yesterday, and I plan on not letting myself go over 800 calories from now on. It'll be easy-ish, I'm the only one in the house for a while (just moved into a shared student house with some friends, three of them don't move in til September and the other probably won't be up til late July or early August (maybe). I have some friends in the area that I'm going to be seeing frequently=ish, but we don't *usually* eat together and I should be able to make excuses fairly easily (two are aware that I have an ED but neither of them know the extent of it, but one of them is recovering from an ED herself so she knows what to look out for).
I just feel gross. I hate that I let myself get to this point. *Never. Again.*
[Help] A question regarding food scales, I feel like I've made a huge mistake
/u/hunterxgreen [5'4'' | CW: 162 | GW: bones | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 07:37:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfyv9/a_question_regarding_food_scales_i_feel_like_ive/
---
I got a food scale to ensure I'm counting calories properly and not going over. I was of course really worried about the accuracy so I did the coin test to make sure it was accurate and every time I use coins to make sure it has the proper measurements. But when I use food, it doesn't. Just to check I poured 3 tbs of egg whites which is supposed to be 46 g, and it came out 28g. Egg whites wouldn't bother me as bad since they're lower calorie, but the only thing that's been helping me stick with restricting and not binging is allowing myself one tablespoon of almond butter and telling myself it would be okay as long as I fit it in my calorie count. Letting myself eat something so calorie dense was a huge fear but the scale gave me some peace of mind. After the egg whites came out wrong I measured one of those individual packets of almond butter which is supposed to be 32 grams, and it came out 20. I measured 1 cup of coconut milk and it came out 180 mL instead of 240 mL (even though I never drink a full serving size). Still when I measure out coins like most people do to test accuracy it comes out normal. Are calorie counts on serving sizes just off or is my scale not calculating it? I'm scared that I've been going wrong this whole time and woefully underestimating calories. I've also been trying to cut carbs a ton and eating a little bit more fat since previously i was eating ideally no fat. Letting myself change my macros was terrifying initially but again I told myself as long as I measured and stayed within my calories I was fine. And now I don't feel like I can trust scales or measuring or anything and I just can't eat. If anyone has experienced this please let me know or if you think I need a different scale feel free to suggest. I've been using this one: [here](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BZE3WW8/ref=asc_df_B00BZE3WW85076511/?tag=hyprod-20&creative=394997&creativeASIN=B00BZE3WW8&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167142021489&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9056306385953601220&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9012489&hvtargid=pla-273770461136)
[Tip] Restaurant/Cafe Low Calorie Options
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 07:36:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfyr2/restaurantcafe_low_calorie_options/
---
Summer is starting and while I'm too bored to study or not motivated to write, I've decided to create a list of relatively 'safe' options for when the average ProED user is backed into the corner of eating out with people.
Calorie options may vary from chain to chain (for example Caffe Nero having lower calorie options than say, Burger King) although drinks will be under 200 kcal and food stuffs under 300 kcal. All calorie information will be found online, and mostly from British (UK) based places.
I am accepting requests so don't hesitate to ask!
[Calorie Information](https://paper.dropbox.com/folder/show/Calorie-Information-e.iX7ZavGxujPFwhjOZcQsjscdrRTTpyFQbHSjJH8CF8MzOfyBBO)
List includes
- Caffe Nero (Food + Drink)
- Starbucks (Food + Drink)
- Pret A Manger (Drink)
Edit:
Sorry it took so long, but I've transferred everything to Google Docs.
[Google Docs format](https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B9zUYYig4jU_YWJRYk9GZkFnZ2c?usp=sharing)
[Other] I just successfully finished a fast for the first time ever
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Sat Jul 15 06:17:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfnag/i_just_successfully_finished_a_fast_for_the_first/
---
I've never been able to successfully finish a fast because every time I would have some gum or give up and binge. Usually I make it through the day and then i can't sleep because i'm so hungry and i end up eating. Yesterday I successfully ate nothing! I had a couple cups of tea and some diet coke and that's all. I went from 115 to 114 which is slightly disappointing but I guess that's probably half a pound of water weight and half a pound of real fat I lost. Feels good man. feels good. except now i have to work today. i'm a dishwasher so it's pretty intense and fast. I'm either gonna starve or binge and it's probably going to be the second. 😣😣😣
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! July 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 15 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfmbe/stupid_questions_saturday_july_15_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for July 15, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 15, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 15 06:09:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfm6v/daily_food_diary_july_15_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 15, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Weight Loss Pills?
/u/IAmARetailRobot
Created: Sat Jul 15 05:11:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfeo6/weight_loss_pills/
---
Hey everyone, I've been wondering if any of you has had a successful experience with fat burning pills or any weight loss pills and what you'd recomend. I can't get out of this maintaining phase and I need something extra.
[Rant/Rave] Trip Update and check in.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 15 04:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nfbll/trip_update_and_check_in/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave.
So my trip has come to an End. I am at the Airport waiting to go home or I guess back to where I was. Where my SO is my home and now that is DC which will be my home soon.
I feel like I gained weight on the trip and ate a lot but it was hot and we walked a lot. I feel like I binged for three days and feel a little bloated. I want to restrict or fast when I get back to seattle.
The airport is boring. There is no safe food or even vegan foods. My options are a smoothie, cliff bars, nuts or overpriced fruit. I bought coffee and a come zero. I've walked like 12k steps so far since I got here which was like 2 hours ago and my flight got delayed.
If Anyone is st BWI airport yo! Such a random place.
I guess some highlights.
I tried some really good vegan food and actually felt ok with my body despite wearing short shorts and button shirts undone a bit.
I moderated a little bit and tried to eat well rounded reasonable meals though I splurged on vegan peanutbuttor milk shakes two days cause it was hot.
The people in DC/Maryland are way nicer and friendly than people from Seattle. Also so many different body types and people who seem confident in not necessarily being thin.
Random but lots more diversity than I am used to and I loved it I talked to so many random people and they were all super nice to me, whether offering directions paying for drinks or food or complimenting me on my eccentric appearance, my hair is colorful and I have a nose ring, wear jewelry, and tattoos.
I am excited to hopefully move here in the coming months.
I guess I will either go back to restricting or fasting I am really sad to leave. I may cry a lot today. I am going to miss my SO a lot.
I went on this trip and things didn't go as bad as I thought. I survived I guess.
Willow.
[Intro] Hello, and glad to see this hasn't been deleted.
/u/65lbs [5'1" | 110 | 22.04 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 03:44:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nf4dy/hello_and_glad_to_see_this_hasnt_been_deleted/
---
Hi. I've been lurking around here for a long time, was posting at one point, but later decided to stay away from the internet for a while. I'm at 110lbs at the minute, goal set at 80 to stay out of IP, hopefully won't get carried away. I've had one eating disorder or another for over ten years (in terms of official diagnoses), starting with ARFID, then anorexia, then bulimia, then anorexia again. The ARFID was diagnosed after the fact because the diagnosis didn't exist when I had it. I think having my family scream at me to eat this and that or whatever all my childhood kind of shoved me over the edge in my early teens from "occasional crash dieter" to something pathological. I'm currently officially recovered, but I haven't been eating much lately and haven't wanted to.
So, stats - LW 65lbs, HW 142lbs, CW 110lbs, GW 80lbs.
And, once more, hello.
[Rant/Rave] Just created the low cal cauliflower tacos posted on here!!
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 15 03:28:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nf2nk/just_created_the_low_cal_cauliflower_tacos_posted/
---
Shout out to u/newnew4dagoodgood for making the original post found here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq9pu/so_i_heard_ur_craving_tacos/?ref=search_posts
I just made these and here was my result:
http://i.imgur.com/QFHnVMc.jpg
Verdict: They tasted surprisingly like regular tacos! Definitely would take care of a late night taco craving. Would be better if you added more toppings but I just used what I had on hand. Also couldn't find cauliflower rice so I just thawed frozen cauliflower and finely chopped it. I will be making these again for sure.
I used:
2 old el Paso taco shells (100)
106g frozen cauliflower (31)
2 tsp McCormick taco seasoning (15)
13g canned diced jalapenos (5)
14g La Victoria taco sauce (4)
Plus 1 Miller lite beer (96)
For a total of 251 calories (!!)
Can't believe I just had 2 tacos and a beer for dinner for only 251 cals. Thanks again for the inspiration, u/newnew4dagoodgood :)
[Discussion] How much caffeine do you consume in a day?
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Sat Jul 15 03:21:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nf1y1/how_much_caffeine_do_you_consume_in_a_day/
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I feel like I might drink too much (3-5 shots spread out over the day) but it doesn't effect me physically and I love the taste soooooo
[Discussion] Do you ever feel like a giant coward?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 02:17:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nev8m/do_you_ever_feel_like_a_giant_coward/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Hiding ED from friends and family
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 01:57:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6neszi/hiding_ed_from_friends_and_family/
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[deleted]
[Other] Thanks, cheap store of Estonia - all these 100-190 calorie stuff for 7 euros!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 01:49:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nes70/thanks_cheap_store_of_estonia_all_these_100190/
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https://i.redd.it/q4gx7kmtop9z.jpg
[Help] Any advice for the first 24-h fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 01:49:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nes6q/any_advice_for_the_first_24h_fast/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Lied to a guy about my weight! Why?
/u/fruitandfood
Created: Sat Jul 15 01:25:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nepgu/lied_to_a_guy_about_my_weight_why/
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Aka pathetic moment of the day!!
Hanging out with a friend and he asked my weight (it was relevant, he wasnt just being odd) and i answered the weight i wanted to be when i was 2 inches shorter than panicked or said "or x lbs" where x is the weight i actually was which was 5 lbs heavier than the weight i wanted to be
Thankfully he answered before i could panick about how he wouldnt believe i could weigh *that* and look like *this*
Andddddd now guess who has a new goal weight!! Haha kms.
Also i cant restrict as well tomorrow as i have to eat at a friends which is just perfect! Im bringing a really calorie dense dessert made out of things i dont like though and they do like i always do so they think im just really caring about what they like....nope im just insane
[Help] I had some new friends over today. It went well but I don't feel good about it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 15 00:02:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nefaj/i_had_some_new_friends_over_today_it_went_well/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] In other news, I've started restricting water. Anybody else do this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 23:42:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6necqb/in_other_news_ive_started_restricting_water/
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[deleted]
[Other] just went grocery shopping for the week
/u/changedish [🍑:changedish| 5'8 | cw 130.2 | gw:110 | f]
Created: Fri Jul 14 23:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6necil/just_went_grocery_shopping_for_the_week/
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https://i.redd.it/wt74fhxq1p9z.jpg
[Discussion] DAE do all the housework?
/u/heartemoji
Created: Fri Jul 14 23:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6neakn/dae_do_all_the_housework/
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I live with my partner and I find on the weekends doing housework and cleaning is a really good way to keep busy and not eat.
This results in him pretty much feeling like a kept man as there's no cleaning left for him to do!
Does any one else do this and have happy bfs? Lol
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend and Guy Friend Rated Women Right In Front Of Me [Vent]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 22:56:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ne6ag/boyfriend_and_guy_friend_rated_women_right_in/
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[deleted]
[Help] I just ate one hundred jelly beans.
/u/syntheticseasalt
Created: Fri Jul 14 22:40:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ne42u/i_just_ate_one_hundred_jelly_beans/
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419 calories. It's 12:38 AM.
Let me know.
(For real, and I didn't purge, and I feel like I'm dying physically and mentally)
[Discussion] MyFitnessPal vs MySecret (and Accupedo?)
/u/allafternooninlove
Created: Fri Jul 14 22:02:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ndyi6/myfitnesspal_vs_mysecret_and_accupedo/
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Which one is the best in your opinion?
I can find more groceries in my FatSecret than MyFitnessPal. But it seems like everyone is using MFP here so I wonder what is your opinion about those two.
Also, how correct is Accupedo? Sometimes the results looks way too high.
[Rant/Rave] Tested myself. Can't eat normally. I'm just not going to try.
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Fri Jul 14 21:29:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ndtde/tested_myself_cant_eat_normally_im_just_not_going/
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My mom left me part of a cookie cake in the microwave while at the same time saying I looked like a skeleton (I haven't even lost any weight recently) and everyone else had a piece and it would be nice if blah blah blah fucking kill me. Out of nowhere, I decided from a random spark to try to challenge myself to eat a piece. It was only 180 calories and I'd still be at my TDEE.
I inhaled it. Burnt my tongue. It was pretty much flavorless and wasn't soft enough to taste like a soft-baked cookie I actually like. Everything went wrong. It immediately brought up stomach acid from the pizza I ate earlier. Everything that could have went wrong went wrong.
180 calories is 3/4 a pint of mint chip Halo Top.
Fuck food. Fuck eating normally. I saw into two hypothetical futures shoveling in that cookie cake. I'm destined to either be obsessive, depressed and underweight or obese. Neither one is what I want, but what are you going to do?
[Other] Mfp
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 21:28:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ndtao/mfp/
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Okay if anyone is really familiar with myfitnesspal I could really use some help. It is only counting calories in kilojoules and I have no idea how to calculate kilojoules properly. Can someone help me out here?
[Other] Food for the week
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Fri Jul 14 21:15:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ndran/food_for_the_week/
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http://imgur.com/mdvumvZ
FUCK to the bone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 21:05:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ndpqi/fuck_to_the_bone/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Scared of weighing myself tomorrow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 20:19:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ndidy/scared_of_weighing_myself_tomorrow/
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Last Monday when I weighted myself I was 116.6lbs (I'm 5'0" BTW) but totally binged all week like the fat ass I am. I really hope I didn't gain anything :( I feel like I probably most likely maintained or something but I really hope I lost something, literally anything would be ok. Ughh why am I like this lol
[Discussion] [Discussion] What are your go to travel foods?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 19:43:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ndcb9/discussion_what_are_your_go_to_travel_foods/
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For long plane rides and things like that. I'm thinking those 100 calorie snack packs, some 150 calorie Think Thin bars, fruit leather, or maybe those little containers of pretzels and hummus? What do you do?
[Help] Laxative advice please.
/u/mieletrose [5'5" | CW 122.5 | BMI 20.6 | 7.5 lb lost | GW 100 | 17F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 19:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nd9oo/laxative_advice_please/
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I was liquid fasting today and ended breaking down and eating a fucking bowl of cereal so I panicked and walked to the store and bought some ex lax. I've never taken laxatives before, this is sort of like a last resort. The box says to take two but I took three just to "really make sure it will work". I don't think taking one more than is recommended should do much harm but I'm making myself nervous and want to know if I should be concerned. I took them About an hour ago.
Edit: I lived lol. Don't think I'll be doing that again for a while. I'll just stick with coffee or watermelon.
[Help] Laxative advice please.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 19:27:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nd9o3/laxative_advice_please/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] How can I deal with the mental strain my eating disorder causes me?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Fri Jul 14 19:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nd97d/how_can_i_deal_with_the_mental_strain_my_eating/
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I've been suffering from an eating disorder for most of my life now, on and off, and have begun another relapse phase due to big life changes. A part of me is scared shitless and another part of me could careless if I get back to being super ill. It seems like my thoughts get constantly jumbled upon one negative and intrusive thought to another and I can't for the life of me get rid of them. I literally feel insane a lot of the time and can't function like the proper fucking adult I'd like to be.
What should I do? I know therapy would probs be my best bet, but what other things can I do if I have no one in my life who supports me emotionally?
[Other] Ring banned from other subs after posting here
/u/penny2cents [5'11" | 115.6 lbs | 16.1 BMI | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 19:23:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nd962/ring_banned_from_other_subs_after_posting_here/
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[removed]
[Other] To The Bone Stream! I'll be starting in about 30 minutes (9pm est)
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Fri Jul 14 18:34:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nd0mv/to_the_bone_stream_ill_be_starting_in_about_30/
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https://www.rabb.it/squiddad
[Rant/Rave] BMI obsession
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.2 | -27.8 | F | G: 99]
Created: Fri Jul 14 18:34:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nd0jp/bmi_obsession/
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I keep obsessing about other people's stats.
I watch the news and they show a photograph with stats of a kidnapped victim, and all I can think is I must pause this so that I could calculate her BMI and compare it to mine. Because if we have the same BMI we must look similar or I wonder how I would like with that BMI.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I upset? This is good for me.
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Fri Jul 14 18:14:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ncwvr/why_am_i_upset_this_is_good_for_me/
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I told myself I would fast through the weekend until Monday.
I ate food. My stomach feels queasy from laxatives I took last night (already had BMs for the day, just residual sensitivity), and I ate some leftovers from yesterday that were in the fridge. Realistically I don't think I ate a lot.
I tried to attempt chewing and spitting for the first time but I couldn't help but feel like I was wasting it. Trying not to purge. I know I haven't gone over my limit. I haven't eaten at all today until now. I'm still considerably below my TDEE, it's probably actually at 50%
This is good right? It's good right to try and keep this down and try not to purge?
I feel like I failed myself and I just want to hear that it's okay to eat. I thought about not posting this because it's like "oh, someone will enjoy that I failed at my latest attempt to lose weight" and I just want to hear it's okay that I ate food but maybe this isn't the sub for it. Please help
[Discussion] Must-have foods?
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | nb | sw 190lb 🐳 | cw 129.8lb 🐷 | bmi 23.7 | gw 90lb 💖]
Created: Fri Jul 14 17:50:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ncsk2/musthave_foods/
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Now, I hate to admit it, but food is necessary. So when y'all go grocery shopping, what is your must-have, your go-to?
I don't shop much (live with parents who would always do shopping without input but that'll change soon) but mine are Skyr yoghurt, cucumbers, and diet coke (cherry or vanilla if they have it in diet or zero).
(Inspired by all the grocery hauls plus the fact that I'm a fast food addict and need to learn to buy more than kid's meals at McDonald's)
[Discussion] TO THE BONE MEGATHREAD
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:58:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ncj0k/to_the_bone_megathread/
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yay now we can have all the discussion in one place :)
[Other] I'm watching To the Bone and purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:55:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ncick/im_watching_to_the_bone_and_purging/
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[removed]
[Discussion] EDs and POC - the intersection of mental health and race
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | ✨]
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:52:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nchvt/eds_and_poc_the_intersection_of_mental_health_and/
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I'm a WOC who has had an ED for nearly eight years. I was "recovered" for five, and am pretty much doing recovery again despite a few really big setbacks.
I am working for a local mental health clinic and doing an outreach program in honor of minority mental health awareness month.
Question for all of you on here who identify as a person of color -- what is the climate around eating like in your community? Are eating disorders a topic of conversation? Do you see yourself represented in media when EDs are discussed (I absolutely don't)? Can you talk about EDs the same way you feel like non-POC can?
I'm trying to put together a program that is reflective of our shared experience as POCs who come from cultures with vastly different types of bodies that are often forced to conform in one way or another to a Eurocentric idea of beauty and health.
[Tip] Chicken sausage with zucchini & summer squash. 200 calories for one link and half a cup of vegetables
/u/limitlessandfree
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:51:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nchlu/chicken_sausage_with_zucchini_summer_squash_200/
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https://i.redd.it/7157nw9p0n9z.jpg
Pro Ana and Mia Support Discord Server
/u/alphabeta223
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:45:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ncgmg/pro_ana_and_mia_support_discord_server/
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[removed]
[Other] To the bone thoughts: not what I expected yet everything I expected
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:32:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nce0x/to_the_bone_thoughts_not_what_i_expected_yet/
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Don't hate me guys
Saying I'm sorry ahead of time and spoilers ahoy
my opinion is shit I know. but I finally watched this hyped up movie and these are some of my thoughts lol
-Keanu reeves plays an ok perf at most otherwise he's so dull and flat.
- white girl in mid upper class fam has an ED that's gold and not a trope ever /s
-also this chick smokes cigs and embodies the essence of some tumblr thinspo bloggers I can't even take this srs
- Lucas is thirsty af and imo problems don't just disappear because a white knight happens to understand what he thinks you are like (pedestal anyone?)
-why didn't they focus on Eli's sister? Like legit I thought she was kinda a victim here too?
-wtf was the ending
-cringes at Lucas and Eli's smooch and grope scene why was this needed.
-please please stop about lily Collins being the perfect thinspo goal I think that's kinda obvious and also the point is kinda over your head at this point
-How do u hide vomit without the smell or leakage wat
-did they call themselves rexias is that supposed to be cool
-this movie kinda makes ED sufferers seem like selfish, intolerable babies that don't know how to deal with life shit and very much annoying as all hell
-that one scene when the mom says she accepts her daughters choice to die kinda made me sad and was well played tbh
I hate myself and how self absorbed this ED makes me lol I'm so minuscule compared to the world and its shit.
[Discussion] What is your go-to hobby/action when you feel like binging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:27:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ncd32/what_is_your_goto_hobbyaction_when_you_feel_like/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ncd32/what_is_your_goto_hobbyaction_when_you_feel_like/
[Discussion] Does anyone else spend hours and hours planning the 'perfect' grocery shop online?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 16:05:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc8x7/does_anyone_else_spend_hours_and_hours_planning/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Two feature length ED films from two different perspectives
/u/confirmedeverything [5'1 | Dont Know Dont Wanna Know | Blegh | 17 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:57:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc78h/two_feature_length_ed_films_from_two_different/
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Both excited and anxious about "To The Bone" and "Feed"
Thoughts on the current upsurge of ED media? Fears? Concerns? I don't know if I'm going to brace them myself or invite a friend over for a viewing party haha. Something in me feels like a good, even a great portrayal of ED in film might be more painful than a mediocre one, which tend to be just annoying. No spoilers!
[Feed](https://youtu.be/Q-ml6edaQzI)
[To The Bone ](https://youtu.be/705yRfs6Dbs)
Two feature length ED films from two different perspectives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:56:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc712/two_feature_length_ed_films_from_two_different/
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[deleted]
Two feature length ED films from two different perspectives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:55:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc6tn/two_feature_length_ed_films_from_two_different/
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[deleted]
Two feature length ED films from two different perspectives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:52:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc694/two_feature_length_ed_films_from_two_different/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] To The Bone Download
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | - 140| 30F | AU]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:51:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc5zd/to_the_bone_download/
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TTB Is already up for toooorrrreenting if you're up for that sort of thing on your usual sites, I use tpb.
Just doing that now just in case :)
I just got up (AU time) and I plan I plan on binge watch it for awhile.
[Rant/Rave] Canadians: I highly recommend PC Free and Clear sparkling drinks
/u/nodamncatnodamncradl [5'10 | 128 LB | 17.91 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:40:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc3o1/canadians_i_highly_recommend_pc_free_and_clear/
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Presidents choice free and clear. It's sweetened with Stevia: caffeine-free, sugar-free, and contains no artificial flavours or colours.
[Intro] I cant be obese another day
/u/WeHeartAri
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:31:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc1tr/i_cant_be_obese_another_day/
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Hello...this is a semi intro post i guess? im new here and just needed a safe space.
I am 5'2. 166lbs. BMI 30
I had 2 babies over the last 4 years.
I feel fat, disgusting, and like theres no way ill ever look good again...
even if i am somewhat "proportional" it doesnt matter to my brain. My BF is trying his best but i dont think hes dealt with an ED GF before. He says things that makes me feel more empowered to stop eating. "Everyone looks better thin" etc.
My plan for now id what worked before i had my babies.
Eating for show, and only small low calorie things, lots and lots of coffee, cigarettes, and the insanity workout.
[Rant/Rave] uuugh i went over my limit.
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW: disgusting | BMI: 23.1 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:26:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nc0pa/uuugh_i_went_over_my_limit/
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i've had a long, dreary day at work and it's not done yet and as soon as i had a break, i bought snacks before i had even thought about it. snacks i can't afford mind you. i've eaten more than i'm used to and i awful. all week i kept telling myself to eat just a little bit more each day so that this wouldn't happen because i knew i had a busy schedule ahead of me, but did my stupid ED brain listen? no. and i binged again because this ALWAYS happens! i go "no! i can totally eat under 500 calories a day forever!" but like? no i fucking can't? like....logic brain never kicks in! and am i gonna pull the same thing over again starting tomorrow? you betchya! because if i don't, then i'll keep eating until i'm big again and i just...i can't do that again!
[Other] can there be a mega thread for ttb?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 15:15:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbyhw/can_there_be_a_mega_thread_for_ttb/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Eating Disorders are not to be glamorized
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 14:50:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbt07/eating_disorders_are_not_to_be_glamorized/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] "it's not that big a deal"
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Fri Jul 14 14:44:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbrmj/its_not_that_big_a_deal/
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i bought a huge pack of tilapia filets from costco and asked my husband to wrap them individually and then freeze them. he put the entire fucking thing in the freezer. so now i have a big block of fish that i have to thaw and cook all at once and he's like "it's not that big a deal".
you utter fucking asshole it is a HUGE deal. i was planning on having it for dinner. it was the only fucking thing i was going to eat today and i was really looking forward to it. i just needed to feel good about something and you fucking took it away from me like it was nothing because you don't ever FUCKING listen to me.
[Discussion] An ED logic question: why do you encourage people in their restriction when your ED is terrified they will/may weigh less than you?
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Fri Jul 14 14:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbq87/an_ed_logic_question_why_do_you_encourage_people/
---
Bear with me here: Following that logic you would want people to eat more so you would waste away compared to them wouldn't you?
Why are EDs so damn competitive idgi
[Discussion] Why do you do what you do?
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Fri Jul 14 14:33:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbp8k/why_do_you_do_what_you_do/
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Be honest why do you b/p? Why overeat? Why restrict?
Idk why but watching to the bone just popped this question in my head
Maybe there really isn't a clear reason.
[Discussion] HOLY THINSPO, NETFLIX
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 14:23:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbn1b/holy_thinspo_netflix/
---
[removed]
[Other] Peach usernames?
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 117 | 19.5 | UGW 100 | 20F | 🍑: moodles]
Created: Fri Jul 14 14:06:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbja3/peach_usernames/
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I could have sworn I saw a peach usernames post a few weeks ago but I can't find it anymore :( I just made a peach account (@moodles) and would love to connect with anyone here, if someone could link me to the other username thread or just comment their handle here that would be great!
[Discussion] The ongoing debate of to purge vs restrict
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Fri Jul 14 14:05:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbj2h/the_ongoing_debate_of_to_purge_vs_restrict/
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I've been trying not to purge and I've gone 3 days without one but I've also gained weight. So now I'm like should I purge or restrict? I go through the pros/cons in my head.
I say to myself I definitely lose weight more easily purging. but I got a hemorrhoid from it and it's so dangerous. But on the pro side I feel the comfort of eating bad food when I plan a b/p. But with restricting I can be certain how many calories I've had but I don't feel as satisfied with restricting.
And on and on. For me, it's a very conscious and methodical decision. Earlier in my ED days it was more impulsive. I would eat too much and then purge. But now I find myself debating and planning it out!
Can anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] Why do I have this overwhelming need to help others when I myself am barely functioning as a decent human being?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 13:56:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nbh0f/why_do_i_have_this_overwhelming_need_to_help/
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[removed]
[Other] To The Bone Streaming!
/u/babyslug [5'0 | CW: 83 | 22 | F | 🍑: @babyslug]
Created: Fri Jul 14 13:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nb9qn/to_the_bone_streaming/
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Hi all, a few weeks ago, I [offered](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6if9no/new_netflix_series_about_anorexia_to_the_bone/dj5v0pn/) to stream TTB for anyone who doesn't have Netflix or just wants to watch with like-minded people.
If you'd be interested in joining in, please vote for a night to watch using [this poll](https://doodle.com/poll/4567rbfygw3a7ati). Note that this is US central time btw! Sorry it's not so flexible, I'm just on kind of a weird schedule because I care for my aunt during the day.
[Help] Head pain when purging?
/u/98thproblem
Created: Fri Jul 14 13:10:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nb6gs/head_pain_when_purging/
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Hi guys,
I have barely posted here, I've actually been lurking again for a couple of weeks before relapsing today. I've had problems with bulimia for a couple of years now, but at the end of last year I managed to stop purging which helped bring down my binging (I couldn't justify the calories).
Tomorrow is my birthday and the pressure of feeling and looking nice while people are focused on me... well I've been binging for a couple of days and just now tried to purge. While in the middle I felt this sharp pain in my head just above my eye and it scared me into stopping before I was finished.
Obviously I'm not looking for a diagnosis, but that said does anyone have any ideas about what that might be? It's still a bit sore and I'm a bit freaked out! I'd also just got to 1lb away from my first goal weight (been trying to get there for literally 3 years and keep fucking up) so that's stressing me out now too.
Sorry for the ramble, I see you guys be so supportive to each other so I hope you don't mind me joining in.
[Discussion] to the bone viewing party?
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Fri Jul 14 13:08:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nb5xv/to_the_bone_viewing_party/
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so i have netflix and a rabb.it account, and i've seen a lot of people in this sub who want to watch the movie but can't, so i figured that i could try to stream it on rabb.it. if anyone is interested, i might try to stream around 9pm EST (6pm PST), and the movie is about 1h45, so we should be done before 11pm EST (8pm PST). if we can get this set up, i'll post the rabb.it link around 8:30pm EST (5:30pm PST). you can also dm me and i'll send the link to you around then.
edit: here's the web address: https://www.rabb.it/squiddad
[Discussion] To The Bone.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Jul 14 12:36:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6naynd/to_the_bone/
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[removed]
Did anybody else sob like a baby when Judy fed Eli in the yurt?
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 170 | 27.4 | 55lbs down | Agender]
Created: Fri Jul 14 12:35:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nayfe/did_anybody_else_sob_like_a_baby_when_judy_fed/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Drinking without getting sick?
/u/sedatedforlife
Created: Fri Jul 14 12:13:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6natcy/drinking_without_getting_sick/
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I have quick question for you guys. I'm to the point where I'm fasting about 23 hours a day and eating around 4-600 calories. It's been years since I could routinely restrict this low and in happy with it.
But I've always had this problem when I get to restricting like this. I get so sick when I go out drinking. Im feeling like I'm going to throw up after 2-3 drinks when I'm just barely tipsy and I start to get wicked headaches. I'm going out Saturday and I really want to be able to enjoy it.
What do you guys eat before drinking so you aren't miserable before you even get to have fun? I don't really care what it is, as long as it's below 500 calories and won't bloat me.
[Rant/Rave] Hit a new low weight aaaaaand....
/u/_pandarah [5'11 | CW145.8 | GW128 | 19.7 | 22F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 11:40:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nalkw/hit_a_new_low_weight_aaaaaand/
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Binged in the morning before work on a fibre breakfast bar, giant bowl of pasta with tomato sauce and chocolates, then purged at work.....Then I ate 600 calories worth of ritz crackers at work cos I have no self control. But now I don't think I want to purge because I downed it with a Diet Coke and I think the bubbles coming back up will make me look super fucked up and I still have a few hours of work to go.
Why do we do this to ourselves. Today was supposed to be a rest day but I guess not anymore .... aiiyyyy. Time to do a lot of fucking HIIT!!!!! Self sabotage when you finally reach a goal....fml 😑
[Rant/Rave] I went to the pool today :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 11:38:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6nal21/i_went_to_the_pool_today/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does anyone have any thinspo pics that don't look "perfect" or staged?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 11:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6naku7/does_anyone_have_any_thinspo_pics_that_dont_look/
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I get super motivated by thinspo pics that look like the person isn't posing. As if the person is in the middle of doing something It makes it seem more real-life, and more attainable.
[Intro] I'm back!
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 110 | 20.02 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 96 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 11:28:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6naiph/im_back/
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According to my history, the last time I posted here was... 4 months ago. In that time I've finished my first year of college, moved home for the summer, and gained 10 lbs. I think this has happened because my parents are super watchful around me but maybe I feel safer eating at home than in a dining hall? All I know is that I go back to school in a little more than a month and I am so excited. I can't wait to call coffee a meal and to have access to a gym whenever I want. I know that I should keep up the progress I've made at home, but there's a large part of me that wants to get back to the days when I could fit my hand around my arm and couldn't relate when my friends talked about eating a dessert at every meal. I want to become even smaller than I was last year, from 103 to 100 to 90. Thinking about the future makes me so happy and I won't settle until I reach my goals.
Anyways, I'm happy to be back here and I hope everyone else can get where they want to be!
[Rant/Rave] I'm scared of not mattering.
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Fri Jul 14 10:54:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6naakm/im_scared_of_not_mattering/
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It's seventh grade. Little slightly overweight me is sitting all alone at the table end. A few classmates sit next to me out of pity, but they avoid conversation if I try.
Let me introduce you to Clara. Clara is slightly underweight by BMI, but she looks like a normal twelve year old, except she's incredibly pretty. And not in that stuck-up, barbie-way either. She looks different and down-to-earth with delicate features.
Every guy fucking loves Clara, she is the shit, she is seventh grade crack cocaine on a bicycle with a side of Jesus Christ.
She's not really the bad guy in this story. Nobody really is. I might actually be the bad guy, since I managed to fuck myself up just from a simple conversation.
The topic was "what guys like" I wasn't included, busy trying to drown my sadness in shitty chocolate fromage, but you bet your ass I was listening in on that conversation in the hope, that one day someone might actually be able to look at me without gagging.
So Clara is chatting with Victor, my at the time crush. I remember what he said, and pathetíc as it is, it haunts me with every bite.
"Guys only like larger girls in bed. They want the thin ones as girlfriends"
I craved being loved more than anything else. I used to dream away at someone simply caring about me, falling in love with me, falling in love with me for me. I want to matter to someone more than anyone else.
To be fair, I don't give a shit about that guy anymore. He was a dick, and I think he's in prison right now. It's not him, I'm trying to impress.
In my head, skinny people fall in love forever. Fat people have half-drunken one night stands, and then the partner doesn't ever wanna talk to them again.
I don't crave sex. I can masturbate my body, but I can't masturbate my heart. I want a connection, a soulmate, someone's who's not gonna leave me, someone incapable of leaving or hurting me.
Now that I'm thin, people are noticing me again. They're nice to me and they hit on me, and I have a fucking boyfriend now, who would've thought?
And it scares me so much, that I might be right. Because if I'm right, I'll be incapable of letting go of this eating disorder, because then gaining pounds would mean losing everything. What if my boyfriend's not attracted to me anymore, what if random guys don't protect me at concerts, what if people stop opening the door for me?
I'll do anything not to be invisible again, to not go back to being a miserable 12 year old, I owe that little girl to protect her and live her dream, because she went through so much pain to end up like me.
And that's why 19.3 is a number, that absolutely frightens me. I read somewhere that a BMI of 19 is most desirable for men, and now I'm 1 and a half pound over that. I'm not sure if that counts, I'm not sure if I'm still peaking, and I'm not sure, when people will notice that I've let myself go.
Please tell me that love is real, and happiness is possible, because I'm so scared.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] how is this weight even possible
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Fri Jul 14 10:34:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6na63k/rant_how_is_this_weight_even_possible/
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[removed]
[Discussion] At what BMI does your bones start to hurt?
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 14 10:12:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6na0y4/at_what_bmi_does_your_bones_start_to_hurt/
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My bmi is currently at 18.2 which is the lowest I've ever been in my life. My bones and muscles get sore easily and I'm starting to hate sitting on hard surfaces. I can only sleep in certain postures to feel comfortable. This has never happen before!
-I'm not exactly sure if it's a normal thing since I still have my fat fleshy cushions (my ass) although they're getting real flabby since I don't work out-
So guys, do you experience this as well? What bmi are you at?
[Discussion] Anyone else only hear a voice of reason, not an "Ana" voice?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Fri Jul 14 10:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9zi6/anyone_else_only_hear_a_voice_of_reason_not_an/
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I hear people talk about how a voice in their head tells them they're disgusting and shouldn't eat and all this horrible degrading stuff. I only get that looking in the mirror after a long binge cycle, but rarely any other time.
For me it's like my body fighting the voice of reason in my head. All of my actions/decisions and the calorie counting is robotic. There's no inner voice telling me to do those things. My inner voice tells me to be normal, but my body physically fights it.
Like I was at the grocery store and a sandwich sounded really good. I had everything at home and just needed to buy bread. I went back to the bread aisle like four times switching breads and looking at all of them. In my head I was repeating, "just eat the damn bread" over and over trying to rationalize that it was fine. But nope, after four tries I put the bread back and left without it. There was no voice telling me no, I just physically couldn't do it because of anxiety.
Does that make any sense/can anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] Talking to people who don't have an ED about calorie tracking.
/u/amberinthewoods [5'2.5" | 119.2 lbs | 29F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 09:51:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9vsv/talking_to_people_who_dont_have_an_ed_about/
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So, my boss is in his 50s and is a self-proclaimed "health nut" (which btw is the most annoying thing in the world). Sure, he works out daily, and he appears to have a pretty "clean" diet, but he is also (seriously) the dumbest person I have ever met in my life.
And this morning, while discussing healthy eating, he told me he tracked his calories yesterday and ate 1300 calories, and that it's the "same exact food" he eats every single day. As a 5'10" man who weighs 160 pounds, and has next to no body fat. So I asked to check what he tracked... he weighed NOTHING measured NOTHING and didn't include almost 800 CALORIES WORTH OF OLIVE OIL IN HIS TRACKING. I re-calculated based on what he told me, and he was closer to 2600 calories.
There's no real point to this other than my frustration at how people can just... go about their day assuming they're so ~~~~healthy~~~~~ and that they're doing everything right and that they are accurately tracking "every single calorie" (that was a direct quote)... and they don't even know olive oil is 120 calories for a tablespoon.
I don't even know if my frustration is rooted in my ED, or in my hatred of him, but MAN it blew my freaking mind.
[Other] Aww crap, I need to find a different store to buy my b/p food
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |50 kg | 18,4 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 09:47:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9uw2/aww_crap_i_need_to_find_a_different_store_to_buy/
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Today I went for my usual haul, and one cashier came to me and told that last Tuesday I forgot one chocolate bar behind. And that she usually doesn't remember customers, but she did remember me because I come in so often, and I usually buy that kind of stuff. It took all the self-control I have to not deny it, or drop my groceries and run out of the store. I just smiled and nodded and thanked her - and decided I will never go back there. Unless I need to buy diet Coke and apples.
[Tip] HALO TOP GIVES COUPONS!
/u/penny2cents [5'11" | 115.6 lbs | 16.1 BMI | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 09:47:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9urs/halo_top_gives_coupons/
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http://i.imgur.com/7cPRW6k.jpg
Resitricting rituals?
/u/bizmo96
Created: Fri Jul 14 09:07:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9luf/resitricting_rituals/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone here not watching To The Bone (forever/yet)?
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 08:57:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9jnt/anyone_here_not_watching_to_the_bone_foreveryet/
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I have work, so I needed to sleep and now I need to leave.
All of the other posts on the sub are about the show right now. Anyone have other exciting news / tips / questions?
Maybe we can create a To The Bone - free thread to avoid spoilers, too (I do plan on watching it tonight).
If I drink a litre of water, will I instantly gain a kilogram?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 08:43:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9ght/if_i_drink_a_litre_of_water_will_i_instantly_gain/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Who's watched To The Bone? What did y'all think?
/u/horror_threadkiller
Created: Fri Jul 14 08:33:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9ef5/whos_watched_to_the_bone_what_did_yall_think/
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I can't decide if I liked it. I feel like it was just...too short?
[Other] anyone interested in an ED novel?
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Fri Jul 14 08:20:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9bh8/anyone_interested_in_an_ed_novel/
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i'm thinking not the usual girl wants to be skinny and becomes anorexic but more like a potpourrie of different stories that are kinda connected. i imagine having a middle aged teacher and two students/school people, guy and gal, also a cashier and it all starts with the supermarket as the place where they kind of eye each other/recognize their spending habits (well the cashier does) and coincidentally meet for the first time and in the middle of the book they discover they have similar problems and do some kind of self help group but without actually being a self help group more like a group of people who coincidentally share a tiny part of their lives (I'd love to call it "The No Breakfast Club" hopefully someone else didn't use that title before ahahah) and it won't actually be full ED centered but more like different people living their lives with different EDs but they still do other stuff and there are still other stories. And it should be raw and a bit cliched (because sometimes EDs are) but also a bit disgusting and silly and wonderful and everything at once, uncensored.
I haven't quite thought it all out yet but i really like writing and i think that would be something productive to do for once and maybe also something other people might enjoy :) also if you got any suggestions or things you think i could include that would be more than cute! If I actually started (and hopefully finished) writing such a story would you be interested?
[Help] It's sick. Help. [alcoholic pro-ED]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 08:19:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9bd7/its_sick_help_alcoholic_proed/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What are you going to do once you reach your ugw
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 08:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n9an7/what_are_you_going_to_do_once_you_reach_your_ugw/
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I'm planning on changing up my whole look and aesthetic since I'm going to need to buy new clothes anyway. I'll have a capsule wardrobe of:
3 skirts
2 dresses
3 jeans
3 or 4 blouses
2 t shirts
3 or 4 sweaters
2 or 3 jackets/coats
All in lightish colours and only the basics in black. Dark colours are going to be an accessory, not the whole outfit.
The days of 2 jeans 2 shirts 1 jacket and that 1 skirt all in monochromatic black are over.
I'm going to wear makeup and I'll actually go out on the weekends instead of being cooped up, viciously saving and posting thinspo like my life depends on it.
I'm not going to stare at thinspo; I'll be thinspo.
Edit:
For u/aetolica, I linked my aesthetic Pinterest boards.
[Grunge](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thatsmuseless/grunge-%2B-punk/)
[Hipster](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thatsmuseless/hipster/)
[Vintage](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thatsmuseless/vintage/)
[Pastel Grunge](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thatsmuseless/pastel-grunge/)
[Feminine](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thatsmuseless/femme/)
[Rant/Rave] It ends now.
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Fri Jul 14 07:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n94ui/it_ends_now/
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The binging ends now. I'm done. I'm putting and end to this binging right now. I weighed in the morning at 118.4lbs which is a BMI of 18.54, completely unacceptable. I've been binging on 10,000 calories of food every single night on top of my daily intake, and purging it and it needs to stop. This will kill me. I'm leaving my money at home tonight so I can't buy any binge food on my way home from work. Bulimic me is going to be so pissed tonight when he finds out he can't binge. But anorexic me is going to thank me later.
[Rant/Rave] Didn't eat all day, then binged on Skittles
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 07:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n92l5/didnt_eat_all_day_then_binged_on_skittles/
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Okay so
I had plans to make a special dinner for my boyfriend (about 400 cal) so I was saving my calories for dinner. All I had before that was some coffee.
Welllll, my boyfriend decided to get pizza and cake instead which I did NOT want to partake in. I was really annoyed that I had saved my calories for a dinner that I wasn't going to be having, but whatever. I figured I'd just have some oatmeal instead.
So I ate my oatmeal, then remembered I had gotten a big bag of Skittles. Listen up, I have not bought Skittles in YEARS, i don't even like them much anymore. But recently they came out with limited edition "long lost lime" which means INSTEAD OF NASTY GREEN APPLE THEY HAVE LIME SKITTLES!!! Those are the best!!! So yeah. I ate a lot of Skittles till I felt sick and then my boyfriend gave me a cookie. Could have had a really great day, but nooooope. Fml.
[Rant/Rave] Sacrificing one dream for another
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 14 07:25:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n905g/sacrificing_one_dream_for_another/
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I just really really need to rant.
I moved around the world to pursue my career as a professional athlete (fighting). I quit my job, sold my things, left my beautiful apartment in New York, for the blood and sweat and grime and stink of this dream. I work out 6 hours a day. I train so much and so hard to fight full time.
But I can't stop looking at my body and wanting to cry. I live in Southeast Asia. My coach (also my boyfriend) feeds me every meal that I eat, and because of where we live everything is rice and salt and sugar. Everything. We eat two meals a day, always rice with pork and an egg. Sometimes some fruit. He'll always buy me food because he's an angel, and I'll always end up shoving it in my face because I work so hard I'm always starving but between the carbs and the sodium I haven't lost any weight, I look puffy all the time, I can't seem to just work off the pounds, even though I'm training so hard that exhaustion is just another bone in my body.
I want so much to be skinny, and frail, a tiny little thing that's barely more than a skeleton. I want to fade away into a wraith. This to me is beauty. But fighting to me is passion. I can't balance it in my brain. I want to fight like my heroes and idols, epitomes of strength and grace, but I also want to be the thinspo I look at every day. I want so badly to be that, I want it almost more than I want anything. But if I mess up, if I pass out in training, or if I lose muscle, if my weight is not on point for weigh ins, if it ends up costing me a fight, if I lose my job or my coach or my gym, I will have nothing at all in the world. My family doesn't see me any more, my friends don't see me anymore. All I have is him, this gym, and fighting. And a heap of self loathing. I do so many sit ups, why is there a veil of fat over my stomach? I punch and kick and work all day, why am I not lean? I drink so much water I pee every 10 minutes, why is my face still puffy and swollen? I've lost my period, why do my thighs still touch? WHY DOES NO ONE HERE SELL SALADS?
I am pursuing my dream and I am so happy for it. But part of me wishes I still sat at a desk job all day, restricting to only black coffee and carrots. Training one hour a day to burn off the carrots. Drinking whiskey for dinner. I'm really not sure if I can do this.
[Other] A page from my journal I thought may be hashtag relatable
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Fri Jul 14 07:17:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8yj4/a_page_from_my_journal_i_thought_may_be_hashtag/
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https://imgur.com/Ei48S0Q
[Discussion] So To The Bone... Is it worth watching?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Fri Jul 14 06:59:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8v30/so_to_the_bone_is_it_worth_watching/
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Seen a lot of mixed reviews.
[Discussion] Do you remember the exact moment you realized you had an ED?
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Fri Jul 14 06:56:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8uma/do_you_remember_the_exact_moment_you_realized_you/
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And I mean a specific minute of your life that made you go, "This is a problem,"
A year ago. I was deep into the idea of fasting. I kept trying but I always failed.
This year, May.
I was still fat, and a week before my birthday, I promised myself that I would fast for 5 days.
I broke it on the second day. And feeling disappointed with myself, I thought I'd do something I recently saw on TV.
Fargo. Season 3. The main baddie's a English bloke with bulimia. We see him binge a table FULL of food. Confused as to how whimsical this show can be, we then see him throw it up a minute later. There's no whimsy there.
So I did that. I thought it was okay, felt like I had food poisoning anyway. It was *justified*.
Next day, forgot the fast and had breakfast.
I didn't enjoy it.
I felt sick immediately. It wasn't physical either, I just felt fat.
So I purged. I remember looking at my own in the face in the mirror while I was brushing my teeth afterwards. I wanted to cry.
And I thought alcoholism would kill me first.
EDIT: God damn. Found the post from yesterday with the same question.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! July 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 14 06:13:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8n0b/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_july/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for July 14, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 14, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 14 06:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8mzo/daily_food_diary_july_14_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 14, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Pissed off and entertained
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 06:02:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8kyj/pissed_off_and_entertained/
---
https://i.redd.it/unqrh98wsj9z.jpg
[Other] if anyone wants to watch "to the bone" and doesn't have netflix...
/u/the-watermeloner [113.4 lbs | 5'4" | 19.85 | my bmi makes me want to die]
Created: Fri Jul 14 05:39:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8h6s/if_anyone_wants_to_watch_to_the_bone_and_doesnt/
---
totally don't DM me.
I totally haven't downloaded it and totally don't have a link where you can do the same.
nope.
_this never happened ;)_
edit - for the record, I'll be gone from like 7:05ish to 7:45ish, and then from 8:05ish to 8:30ish. I'll try to dm everyone asap, unless this post gets deleted :c in which case... _still pm me_
yet another edit - *sniff* my link was wrong. i feel so bad. I'll try to find one asap and let you know when I can.
[Tip] These bad boys are saving me this week
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 14 05:07:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n8ca6/these_bad_boys_are_saving_me_this_week/
---
http://imgur.com/a/UJ4RH
[Rant/Rave] My first aid instructor called me tiny!
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 46kg | GW: 40 kg | UGW: happy]
Created: Fri Jul 14 01:42:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n7low/my_first_aid_instructor_called_me_tiny/
---
Oh my god, you guys, I'm so happy right now and you're the only people who'll understand. I was lying down with my partner next to me and she was taking my obs (she was in her 50's, most people were adults and I'm 15) and the instructor walked by and she was like "wow, you're so tiny!" and just aaaaghhhh. To be fair she was probably just talking about the fact that I'm under the age of consent unlike everyone else in the room, but my ED brain is telling me that, holy shit, someone who was pretty skinny herself thinks I'm small! I'm pretty large, so this was such a nice surprise!!! Does anyone else get turned on by offhand comments that spark up something in your brain?
[Rant/Rave] To the Bone is scarily relatable
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Fri Jul 14 01:23:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n7j85/to_the_bone_is_scarily_relatable/
---
I'm like ten minutes in and already it's just like...the awkward family dynamics. The part where she awkwardly avoids stepping on the scale like "It's not at zero."
Sitting on her laptop, doing an arm check, examining the arm check/changing positions, and sighing.
Then she went in the bathroom at the appointment and started drinking water from the faucet. *"Does that really work?"* *"No."*
Did Netflix have cameras on me like two years ago? This is scary.
**EDIT**: First thing after I unpaused it: "She said she'd been taking the antidepressants, but she'd been flushing them down the toilet. She was afraid they'd make her gain weight." Shit. Fuck. That's it, either I'm an extreme cliche or I'm searching my house for cameras.
[Rant/Rave] drunken purge
/u/loseitjen
Created: Fri Jul 14 01:17:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n7ihd/drunken_purge/
---
anyone else mainly drunkenly purge and think "man i hope i actually purged enough for this scent of vomit and chunks of foodtrying to come back up my throat be actually worth it". meanwhile losing ur buzz!!! upsetting
[Rant/Rave] [rant] it's two in the morning but to the bone just came out
/u/lowkeydeadinside
Created: Fri Jul 14 01:14:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n7i2h/rant_its_two_in_the_morning_but_to_the_bone_just/
---
i can't sleep and i'm super hungry but i just started it because i won't sleep tonight anyways. who's with me?
[Discussion] It's 12:06 am and I'm starting To The Bone because I waited up for it.
/u/loalexisss
Created: Fri Jul 14 01:09:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n7hbt/its_1206_am_and_im_starting_to_the_bone_because_i/
---
No worries about how I have work at 7am😂
(Not sure what to flair this as? First time posting here! I'm sorry!)
[Rant/Rave] just purged for the first time in a year or two
/u/frowningsk
Created: Fri Jul 14 00:33:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n7cfc/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_a_year_or_two/
---
seemed like so much and was satisying. terrible but right after I smoked a cig and am about to finish a blunt. i weighed myself on my grans scale and not sure if it's completely accurate cause it's complete crap but I weigh 140 and am 5'9 which makes me feel terrible
[Other] Is anyone else really amazed with the body sometimes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 22:16:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6ux7/is_anyone_else_really_amazed_with_the_body/
---
[deleted]
Trigger warning? Sexual assault and wanting to throw up the meal we ate together.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 22:04:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6sur/trigger_warning_sexual_assault_and_wanting_to/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Tips on controlling self around junk food?
/u/nycthrowaway51
Created: Thu Jul 13 21:18:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6l42/tips_on_controlling_self_around_junk_food/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] It doesn't matter how good I am, there's always a binge around the corner
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 21:01:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6i1v/it_doesnt_matter_how_good_i_am_theres_always_a/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] What's the point if you can't eat it all?
/u/Datingisdifficult100
Created: Thu Jul 13 20:52:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6gfm/whats_the_point_if_you_cant_eat_it_all/
---
I lost about 25 pounds when I was a teenager. Counted calories- exercised. I did it the "healthy" way... stopped when I got to a "healthy" weight. But by the "healthy way" I mean I would eat nothing for a week and then go to Burger King and eat everything. I don't think anyone noticed- but whenever anyone got on my case I would just talk about "cheat day"
What's the point of tasty food if you can't fill your tummy? All these stupid diet blogs about "tasty 200 calorie lunches" or one bite brownies or "everything is okay in moderation!"
I just don't see how it's worth it to eat just one. Stop at a single cup of ice cream. Even to cook healthy, flavorful food. There is NO POINT if I can't eat 1000+ calories per sitting!
Tonight I ate boiled cabbage for dinner bc why bother making something that tastes good if you can't even eat it.
[Rant/Rave] I think I want to be sick
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 20:42:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6eor/i_think_i_want_to_be_sick/
---
I'm about to treat this shit like a diary so buckle up.
I think I want to keep my eating disorder. I know, from my studies that eating disorders are very intertwined with the ego and identity. More so than other mental illnesses. Those suffering feel that it is who they are, and to take away the disorder is to take away their identity. I don't know if this is true for me but it's interesting.
I think I enjoy being sick, not in the sense that it makes me happy, but I get a secondary gain out of it. I think I use it as a way to continue living in fear. I don't want to live my life sometimes and if I'm still suffering from bulimia and depression then I don't have to. Instead, I can wallow in my self pity and live in a world of excuses and victimization.
I have a mental illness that is part biological and part behavioral. I don't think I'm interested in making a single behavioral change.
The worst part is I'm getting fat again. My flair is wrong. Not incredibly wrong, but wrong none the less. This girl who I'm friends with for some reason said she wished she could throw up because then she wouldn't gain weight when she overate. I laughed because when I relapse hard on my bulimia I usually gain weight.
If you made it this far, I'm still on a waitlist for PHP or IOP. It's been two weeks now, I might take myself off the list. My cat is dying and I'm probably going to take a year off of school and do something different with my life. My relationship is also on it's way out and I want to say I wish I knew what was wrong with me, but I know I just don't.fucking.care.
[Discussion] How soon can I start using EC stacks?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Thu Jul 13 20:42:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6eo6/how_soon_can_i_start_using_ec_stacks/
---
[My apologies if this is against the rules / has been answered too many times; I've been here since we were <500 users but I'm still oblivious as hell]
I'm turning 18 on Friday and all I can think about is finally being able to, on occasion, use an EC stack. I'd hate to fuck it up, though.
Where do I purchase the "E?" Any pharmacy, or do I have to order it? Will they find it strange that I'm just a few days / weeks over 18?
Thanks! (I don't want to trust Google on this one)
[Thinspo] Video: Counting Calories With a Ballerina
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Thu Jul 13 20:32:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6cwi/video_counting_calories_with_a_ballerina/
---
https://youtu.be/5356zt0JiDY
[Discussion] standing in my kitchen trying to decide if I should eat or not.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 20:23:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6b6u/standing_in_my_kitchen_trying_to_decide_if_i/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I gave myself "permission" to purge earlier and then had a small binge
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 170 | 27.4 | 55lbs down | Agender]
Created: Thu Jul 13 20:20:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n6aom/i_gave_myself_permission_to_purge_earlier_and/
---
I decided not to after realizing I'd have to lie to my therapist about it and/ or my doctor since I'm undergoing GI tests over the next few months.
Part of me is proud of myself. I put my health and honesty before my ED.
The other part of me is completely disgusted and disappointed. And that part of me is definitely down for the fasting I'm doing tomorrow.
You win some (battles), you lose some (weight, hopefully)
[Discussion] If you lived in a time before people knew how to count calories or what food and exercise really do, how do you think you'd manage your ED?
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Thu Jul 13 20:01:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n67aw/if_you_lived_in_a_time_before_people_knew_how_to/
---
This is something I think about sometimes, wondering if technology and information makes us dig in deeper to our ED habits than if we didn't have that. It's kind of hard for me to picture but I was wondering if anyone else had thoughts on it?
[Discussion] Anyone else investigate into which models/celebrities are restricting/have an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 19:59:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n66vm/anyone_else_investigate_into_which/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Forced recovery, hate myself now
/u/onlysaysNOO [5'3 | CW 93| BMI 16.94 |F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 19:54:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n65zi/forced_recovery_hate_myself_now/
---
I'm so upset with my body these days. I went to college away from my family and lost so much weight but then started dating this guy and he HATED the way I looked because I was skeleton thin (dysmorphia prevented me from seeing that at all) and I looked like I was dying. He slowly started making me eat more and encouraging me into recovery, and at the time I was kind of grateful and was almost thinking normally for a little bit. But now I weigh SO much (107) and look disgusting. I can tell my stomach has stretched out so much more than it takes so much food to fill me and I get so much more hungry faster. Restricting again now that I'm away from him and he can't influence my thinking is insanely hard because the hunger is SO much more aggressive.
I don't even know what I'm supposed to do, it's SO hard to control myself now, but I need to be better. I need to fix what he broke and lose all this weight.
Edit: I don't blame my ex for forcing recovery, but because of it I have such a lack of self control and I'm insanely unhappy with my body.
[Discussion] What's been the high point/low point of your week?
/u/negative_delta [5'9.5" | CW 143.2 | 20.4 | GW 130 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 19:54:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n65wl/whats_been_the_high_pointlow_point_of_your_week/
---
Hi everyone, it's the random-casual-conversation thread of the day :)
For me, the high point of my week was going climbing on Tuesday. I've been getting really into it and working on harder routes and I nearly got a V3 (difficulty scale)! At my gym V0-V2 is listed as "beginner" and V3 as "intermediate" so it would be cool to move into the intermediate category. Also, everyone at the gym is so nice! There's a crew of guys who are really good (like they usually do V7, V8) and they were giving me suggestions and cheering me on when I was trying to get a difficult route. AND a woman with the most amazing eyeliner I've ever seen told me I "looked like Barbie" when I'm not even blonde, which was such a huge compliment!
Low point was me deciding to tell my boyfriend about ED stuff. I fall in the category of having a lot of disordered behavior (restriction, c&s, anxiety around food, body hatred, etc) but not falling into any specific archetype, so it was really hard for me to open up to him and he kind of...didn't take it seriously? Like I'm a healthy weight right now so he was just kind of like "I'm sorry you feel that way but *I* think you're beautiful and I know you'll learn to love yourself with time". Which was sweet of him but also clueless, and then I felt shitty for burdening him with my dumb problems in the first place.
So yeah, that's my life- what about yours?
[Thinspo] Straight lines, long lines
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Thu Jul 13 19:47:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n64mv/straight_lines_long_lines/
---
https://i.redd.it/jjqb1cn8rg9z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] weight is dropping off so quick!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 18:52:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n5ukc/weight_is_dropping_off_so_quick/
---
[removed]
[Other] I'm actually scared
/u/HufflePuffPrid3 [4'11 | 84 | 17 | -19 | F ]
Created: Thu Jul 13 18:45:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n5t5t/im_actually_scared/
---
I just weighed myself for the first time in months.
And my bmi is now 16. And I know people get lower than that.
But I am scared that I am going to die.
[Rant/Rave] Frustrated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 18:39:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n5s6z/frustrated/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Hydroxycut
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 18:18:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n5o7d/hydroxycut/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm done "recovering"
/u/DeusOff [5'7.5" | 127.8lb | 19.6 | -0lb | UGW:90lb | 19NB]
Created: Thu Jul 13 18:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n5kz2/im_done_recovering/
---
I can't do recovery. I just can't anymore. I discovered today that for the first time since 2012/2013 I don't have a thigh gap anymore, I've just now lost it. I'm absolutely devastated and I cried for a good hour and a half earlier.
I'm moving into a shared house tomorrow for my second year of uni and I'm gonna be there for most of the summer with nobody else (they don't move in til September), so there'll be nobody to catch on to what I'm doing.
I just can't anymore. I can't handle this. I need to go back to restricting. I'm sick of kidding myself that I'm "improving" when I'm crying over my weight every single day. I'm going to get back on track tomorrow, and nobody can stop me this time. I'm terrified to weigh myself tomorrow but at least the high number will be a good motivator.
[Goal] Back on my relapse bullshit
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Thu Jul 13 17:58:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n5jzz/back_on_my_relapse_bullshit/
---
I have a new found drive to push through the next week and drop 2 pounds. I'm behind where I'm supposed to be and I pushed over my calorie limit today. Instead of just forgetting this, I'm full on relapsing. Aka gonna go buy all my old ED food tomorrow so that I can restrict down more before the vacation next weekend. I'm after that sugar free ice cream, fat free popcorn, sugar free jello, fat free bread mother fuckin grind. Hello 500 daily limit and hopefully a see you soon to 95 pounds.
[Discussion] DAE talk to themselves?
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Thu Jul 13 17:40:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n5gnb/dae_talk_to_themselves/
---
I just thought of this because I was just in the kitchen looking for something to eat as I was going through the cabinets I was saying to myself "no carbs no carbs no carbs..." then I saw ravioli in the fridge, said "no don't do it" and ran upstairs
I'm actually crazy, I'm so glad my parents didn't hear me
[Rant/Rave] This. Is. Hard.
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 17:06:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n59oh/this_is_hard/
---
Day 3 of attempting to meet my meal plan and it's really a fucking struggle. I finally caught up with my roomie and now she knows exercise is off the table so that adds some accountability no matter how much I hate myself for opening my mouth.
I also was losing my mind after breakfast so I texted a friend. We chatted for an hour. He just lost someone recently so I got hit hard when he said, "I don't want to lose another friend." I forget that this can kill me, and since I've been so medically stable for over a decade I really ignore it. But it's true. And despite having some fleeting thoughts of not wanting to be around, I don't want ED to be the end of me. At the same time, the ED convinces me that anything I eat will make me gain weight and I know better than that! I have student loans and a license to prove I know how the human body functions to the nth degree.
I'm still trying to move forward, no matter how hard it is.
[Discussion] To the Bone premiers TOMORROW!
/u/silverblackbriscoe
Created: Thu Jul 13 16:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n584x/to_the_bone_premiers_tomorrow/
---
Are you watching? Avoiding? Putting it off? Hitting play at exactly midnight?
[Rant/Rave] I am not allowed to binge for 2 weeks
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 100 | 16.84| GW 94 | F 22]
Created: Thu Jul 13 16:53:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n570g/i_am_not_allowed_to_binge_for_2_weeks/
---
Via mine and my therapists goals. And I am dreaming of goldfish. Can I fast forward two weeks? Or take a flamethrower to all of my kiddos goldfish? Goddamn me 😭
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Thu Jul 13 16:27:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n51vq/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/qbr1gyimrf9z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] When something tastes too good and you don't trust the calorie count...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Jul 13 16:20:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n50c3/when_something_tastes_too_good_and_you_dont_trust/
---
I had a Starbucks vanilla cold brew with sweet cream and it was absolute heaven for 110 calories. Like it could replace ice cream for me. But I'm paranoid. What if they put in extra syrup? And they don't measure out the cream, they just pour it in.
[Discussion] What are some foods that make you binge after one bite?
/u/LivelyGhost [5'6" | CW: 141 | GW: 111 | -23 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 13 16:20:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n50ad/what_are_some_foods_that_make_you_binge_after_one/
---
So the opposite of a safe food, a regret food if you will. If it's not portion controlled for me (like say, at a restaurant), mac and cheese or Alfredo is my downfall. If I make it and am alone, I will 4/5 times try to eat the entire pot until I realize my mistake too late.
Also I am a whore for Popeyes biscuits. They taste like depravity. I love it.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Literally what the fuck does "too rich" mean
/u/apricaught [5'3| CW 126 | LW 115 | GW 112 |F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 16:18:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4zzk/rant_literally_what_the_fuck_does_too_rich_mean/
---
Just a little drunk rant. How are people satisfied or even disgusted with delicious things that are "too rich"? That's the good shit. It's like cocaine or something. People ask me "doesn't it make you feel sick eating that much?" And I'm like "yes but I keep eating because I hate myself" except I don't say that out loud. Give me the intense chocolate cake, the entire kilo of halva, the entire kilo of hummus, the whole container of Nutella, the fat off your cut of meat (back before vegan). It's the closest to feeling like maybe there's meaning in my life, that chemical pleasure, that dopamine, or utterly depriving myself of it. No in between. No single spoon of peanut butter. No one piece of chocolate. How the fuck does one take a bite or two of something and leave it there.
Sure, too rich is eventually sickening, but since when do I deserve to feel well? Sure, my stomach makes me pay afterwards, but it's just...whatever. fuck, it's feeling something rather than the incredible emptiness and meaninglessness that's out there. Wow that's angsty. And yet where is the lie.
[Rant/Rave] Forgive me but gimme this rant
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Thu Jul 13 15:56:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4v59/forgive_me_but_gimme_this_rant/
---
No I don't give a crap about thinspo quotes and skinny girls because I know the storm I'm causing my body and I know it's wrong but it's addicting
I Don't give a shit about proana or promia bullshit
It's self deprivation by choice and stubbornness and hotheaded victimization at its worst
No one asked for it but damn you're addicted to it.
Sweet talk shit like oh keep going, be strong, you can do it bs only feel humane when you regard it in terms of recovery and self care-- otherwise don't sprout advice, tips, sugar coated words, and lots of tears--it doesn't mean shit
I motivate myself and I destroy myself
You fight your own damn demons don't cast it on anyone else
[Other] Tiny cute cheese grater
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 15:48:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4tf7/tiny_cute_cheese_grater/
---
https://i.redd.it/pjjtebjnkf9z.jpg
[Goal] Finally fit back in my goal jeans!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 15:28:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4p0z/finally_fit_back_in_my_goal_jeans/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9e0KO
[Discussion] What is your heart rate and blood pressure?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 15:03:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4j28/what_is_your_heart_rate_and_blood_pressure/
---
[removed]
[Thinspo] Nicole Romero is my ultimate thinspo so I made an album with some pics. she's SO tiny
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:50:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4g1a/nicole_romero_is_my_ultimate_thinspo_so_i_made_an/
---
http://imgur.com/a/w2Kyc
[Rant/Rave] not even 3 pm and i've already binged twice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:45:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4eyj/not_even_3_pm_and_ive_already_binged_twice/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I haven't lost any weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4eww/i_havent_lost_any_weight/
---
[removed]
i've already binged twice today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:42:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4e4v/ive_already_binged_twice_today/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Not ED but also ED question..what do y'all wear?
/u/daeboo [5ft2/87.2lbs🌑]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:37:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n4d3w/not_ed_but_also_ed_questionwhat_do_yall_wear/
---
No but for real, I've been binging/gaining weight and my usual self hatred has been amplified by that. What sucks is that I used to really love clothes and pretty shit and now I can't even fathom wearing any of the nice dresses/skirts/jewelry/anything because fuck, I'm a gross tub of lard how could I wear that?
So what does r/proED wear when they hate themselves but also have to look presentable? Help me out :(
[Humor] Groceries
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:16:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n481r/groceries/
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https://i.redd.it/xzln96xx3f9z.jpg
[Tip] Calorie free coffee creamer exists!!!
/u/Brickbite [5'6" | CW 123 | 19.9 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:10:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n46q7/calorie_free_coffee_creamer_exists/
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I just found it at my health food store but you can buy it online and it's really not expensive. It actually isn't even disgusting. It's made my Walden Farms which has a whole line of calorie free dressing and dip and stuff.
I haven't come across any posts about Walden Farms so I had to share!
[Discussion] Anybody else extremely motivated by wanting people to view/treat you better?
/u/denimlemonade [5'4" | CW 154.8 | 27.1 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:09:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n46fb/anybody_else_extremely_motivated_by_wanting/
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I have been avoiding binges by reading threads like these:
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/571k5y/people_bend_over_backwards_to_get_my_approval_or/
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5guui1/people_have_begun_to_treat_me_different_now_that/
I have pretty much no friends and don't get attention from anyone, men or women. A huge part of me wants to be thin so people will like me. I feel like if I'm thin my ugly face and crappy personality won't matter as much and I won't be so lonely.
Anybody else feel the same? (Or have any motivating stories to share?)
[Help] Does anyone else get weird echoing ears?
/u/Space-Punk
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:05:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n45jd/does_anyone_else_get_weird_echoing_ears/
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IDK how to explain this but I wanted to know if it was something others experience because it never happened to me until I started restricting. Sometimes when I work out or have too much caffeine (also when I get out of a hot shower) my right ear will sound really weird. There isn't a physical feeling, it doesn't hurt and it doesn't feel like something is blocking my ear but when I breathe/talk the sound will vibrate deep in my ear and it drives me crazy. Like, every sound I make is amplified and buzzes inside my ear and it will last anywhere from ten minutes to an hour. I think it happened in my left ear once but it happens to my right ear several times a week. Does anyone know what this could be?
Edit: Thanks everyone! I got my answer super quickly, it's [this!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patulous_Eustachian_tube)
[Thinspo] Non-obvious thinspo quotes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 14:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n44tl/nonobvious_thinspo_quotes/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Please can I just eat celery and lettuce
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 12:43:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n3muu/please_can_i_just_eat_celery_and_lettuce/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] So much for that streak...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 12:11:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n3f5d/so_much_for_that_streak/
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[deleted]
A love letter to coffee
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 12:08:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n3ef6/a_love_letter_to_coffee/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Haven't eaten a bite since my mom told me I would "never look like my BFF" a week ago. Thanks for the cruelty, Mom.
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 135 | -37 lbs | F | 🍑: @lemonie]
Created: Thu Jul 13 11:43:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n386b/havent_eaten_a_bite_since_my_mom_told_me_i_would/
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https://i.redd.it/r1b9n0glce9z.jpg
[Discussion] Healthy eating - do you bother?
/u/Etorneau [5'6 | 140(and hating it)|23| Female]
Created: Thu Jul 13 11:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n363g/healthy_eating_do_you_bother/
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Just something I found myself musing over. If you have an eating disorder (especially one that involves any kind of purging I guess), how much do you think about making good food choices?
What has led me to this is I'm currently mid re-lapse, I've struggled with EDNOS (specifically eating 'normal' sized meals and then making myself sick) for 14 years. Even when I'm at my worst, so everything is coming back up, I'm pretty health conscious. I eat 90% vegetarian, low dairy, recently cut out caffeine, eat a lot of organic, you get the picture! And it made me realise, why am I making these choices (that are costing extra time and money) when I'm not keeping them in my body. Is anyone else the same?
[Help] I feel fake because I want to get better and have a healthy relationship with food but haven't really dealt with the worst of this ED
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Thu Jul 13 11:07:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n2zjq/i_feel_fake_because_i_want_to_get_better_and_have/
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I've been trying to help my mental health recently (I've started therapy, have an appointment for psychiatry on Monday) and I've realized that my ED is just a symptom of a bigger issue. I think I'll always have body image issues (and always have) but I want to make myself eat more. I want to eat 1200 calories a day to prevent me from feeling dizzy and to prevent binges. I know this isn't gonna be as simple as "eat more" but I want to try? But I feel like I've done nothing to warrant this desire to "recover"? I've hardly experienced my ED this relapse. Idk, I just kinda needed to get this off my chest. Any help/comments are appreciated.
[Tip] Advice for people with BED
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | GW: 120 | UGW: 90 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 10:29:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n2q90/advice_for_people_with_bed/
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Mods, if this isn't allowed, please let me know and I will remove it! I posted this on my tumblr, hoping it'll reach someone, but I think it might be helpful to put it here too. I've been recovering from my BED for about two years now, and these are things that I've found really helpful along the way
**The first step is to recognize your binging patterns.**
- Where are you when you binge?
At home, at the workplace, in your car, and at schools are places where people commonly tend to binge. Do you tend to binge during a certain time of day, like during the mornings or at night?
- How you get this food?
Do you buy it yourself when you grocery shop? Is it food your roommates or family members bought? Did you order the food for home delivery? Is it food that your workplace provided? Or perhaps you bought the binge food in the heat of the moment.
- What are you binging on?
Most people tend to binge on sugary foods, fatty foods, fast food, and prepared, packaged foods that you can easily tear open and start eating right away. You may also find that you’re binging on the same kinds of foods over and over again.
**Once you can recognize your common binge patterns, you can work on preventing binges before they happen!** I believe this step is very important. It’s easier to prevent binges when you’re in a clearer state of mind.
For some people, this may start at the grocery store. Make sure that when you grocery shop, that you’re not enabling a future binge. For example, if you’re the type of binger that will bake an entire cake just to eat it all themselves, do not buy cake mix or extra ingredients that will allow you to make that cake. If you’re the type of binger that just knows they’re going to eat that entire family size bag of chips, make sure to avoid them at the grocery store. We need to be honest with ourselves as bingers. I can tell you that even now, after mostly having recovered, there are some foods I will go completely ham on and binge on the moment I have the chance. I make sure not to buy these foods whenever I grocery shop, as tempting as it is.
Other people may not have control over what food comes into the house. A lot of people with BED have trouble with roommates and family members that will do the grocery shopping. If the people you live with are understanding, you may have to speak with your housemates and ask them to stop buying foods that you know will only negatively affect your eating disorder. You don’t have to tell them everything, you can say that you’re trying to eat healthier and that it would be really helpful if they stopped bringing those foods into the house. See if you can go grocery shopping with them and try to pick out foods that you enjoy, that are within your budget, and that you think you won’t binge on. If your roommates and family members aren’t understanding, don’t fret! Keep foods you’re tempted to binge on out of sight, inside pantries and cabinets, and it should help a lot.
If you tend to binge when you’re at home, it may be a good idea to get out of your house a little during the day and do something fun or productive. Hanging out with friends, shopping, going to a library to study, or even just taking a nice stroll outside can help you clear your mind and will help distract yourself. Alternatively, if you tend to binge when you’re outside your home, it may be a good idea to not carry around extra money that you might spend on binge food. If your workplace provides a lot of foods you binge on, it can help to bring your own foods and snacks that you’re less likely to binge on.
If you tend to binge at night, it may be a good idea to find a nighttime activity that will distract you from food. Going to bed early, going out, exercising, or playing video games are a few ideas.
**I, personally, do not recommend trying to ignore cravings all together.** Especially for people who are still very early in the recovery process, it may feel impossible to fight the cravings, and a lot of people will end up binging on these foods after giving in. **Instead, try to find a compromise that will satisfy your cravings.**
- One possible way is to eat the food you are craving, but in smaller portions. For example, if you know you’re going to binge on that entire box of cookies if you buy them, buy the cookies, but in smaller serving sizes. Buy that bag of chips you love, but not the family size bag! If the food you’re craving isn’t sold in smaller packages, you can portion it yourself when you’re in a clear state of mind, and pull out these little portions to satisfy your cravings. If you’re just craving a cheeseburger and you think you can’t control yourself any longer, then go ahead and eat the cheeseburger. Go ahead. Buy it. But buy a small one, and make sure you’re eating it calmly and slowly. not in the ravenous, desperate way binges make you eat.
- Another great way is to satisfy your cravings with healthier alternatives! For example, I used to crave french fries and chips a lot. Popcorn is an amazing alternative. It’s high in volume, salty, and satisfying, just like the foods I was craving, but popcorn is definitely the healthier choice. If you’re a binge eater that drinks liters and liters of soft drinks, try replacing soda with diet soda or flavored water. If you’re craving chocolate, dark chocolate can satisfy that craving. Fruits when you’re craving sugar is another option. Find something that works for you!
**Don’t forget to eat slowly!**
I never see anyone say this, and it’s so important! I would never eat like a normal person, I’d practically inhale all the food I ever ate. Whenever you eat, even if you feel that it’s a binge, try to eat slowly. Sit down, put down your phone and turn off the tv. Focus on the food, it’s taste and texture. Chew slowly. Even when I wasn’t binging, I was used to eating my food so fast that it was never enough. I would be left unsatisfied that I finished my food so quickly, and I always went back for more. You need to break that cycle. Eating slowly helps you get fuller, and helps you appreciate food, something that BED might have taken away from you.
**Try to break the cycle with little steps.**
Slow, gradual progress is great! You managed to stop yourself mid-binge instead of continuing? That’s awesome! You ate slightly less today than you did yesterday? Amazing! It’s little stuff like this that may seem fruitless that help you out in the long run. I see too many people trying to break a binge cycle by being strict with themselves and trying to quit cold turkey. While this does work for some people, I notice that this is very difficult for most. For example, after a period of mostly eating mostly 4000 calories everyday, it is going to be hard to jump down to 1500 calories the next day. Wean yourself down slowly, with patience, and you will find that it’s easier. Forgive yourself, and give yourself time to heal.
I really hope this advice helps someone out there! Good luck, I am rooting for you, I know you can do this!
[Rant/Rave] Finally taking care of all of that
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 | Male]
Created: Thu Jul 13 10:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n2naw/finally_taking_care_of_all_of_that/
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(Oooh you can flare on mobile now how modern and amazing)
I finally paid for a 24h gym membership (only one in my city) after my mother threatened to sue my previous gym for a technicality that could have cost me 360 bucks.
Now that I have found a gym I can go to whenever the motivation hits, it feels liberating, 'specially cause it always hits around 4 am.
I passed my exams and aced them, I'll know if I'm in the uni I wished for tomorrow, and I have nothing left to do but wait.
I'M FINALLY ON HOLIDAYS AAAAAH (i need to pick up my meds, nobody wants me to jump off of a bridge while everything but my brain is going smoothly. )
I'm finally free from all that stress, and it feels good.
EDIT : Also I'm fucking excited for the release of «To The Bone» tomorrow !!
[Discussion] "Fans everywhere were shocked to see Wendy’s ribcage and small arms." I'm more impressed than anything. Dancers+performers have the most amazing muscle tone!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 10:10:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n2lj7/fans_everywhere_were_shocked_to_see_wendys/
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http://www.koreaboo.com/news/red-velvet-wendy-looks-alarmingly-skinny-recent-performance/
[Intro] and so here we are (probably triggering)
/u/JackSkeletal [5'7" | Male]
Created: Thu Jul 13 10:08:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n2kys/and_so_here_we_are_probably_triggering/
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Hey all. I'm 22 and just out of college. Waiting for my new job to start in a few weeks, and most of my friends have left the area, so I've got a lot of spare time. Currently trying and mostly failing to restrict to around 500 calories a day. Perpetually hangry and dizzy. Spent too much on vitamins to make myself less dizzy. Did not work.
Not sure I'm disordered enough to be posting here. Been lurking for a fair few weeks and half my friends are either making generically unhelpful concerned noises at me or drunkraging that they're not going to enable me starving myself anymore, so here we are, I guess.
Been seeing a therapist for the past year for psychotic bipolar disorder and generic childhood trauma shit; finally broke down a couple weeks ago and described one of my coping mechanisms.
My therapist looked as if I'd just admitted to blending puppies and rainbows and children's tears into my protein shakes.
"Jack, I want you to start intensive outpatient eating disorder treatment as soon as possible. There's a program in [TOWN REDACTED.]"
"Okay, that's great--but number one, I have no health insurance and can barely afford to see you. Number two, I don't have an eating disorder."
"You just described an eating disorder."
"I described a lack of self-control. By that logic, everyone eating the leftover workplace cake has an eating disorder."
She rubbed her temples. "You said eating food is the most disgusting thing any human being can do and it makes you physically sick that humans are dependent on food."
"That's not unreasonable."
"Your goal weight is 100 pounds. You aren't even overweight."
"I am overweight. Disgustingly overweight. Don't I look fucking sickening to you?"
"...no."
"I'm not going to treatment. I'll be surrounded by a bunch of people with real problems. My only problem is needing to cut out the cake. If that's a problem, shit, hospitalize all the sad teenage boys wishing they looked like Schwarzenegger--"
My therapist rubbed her temples again. "You said you passed out a lot at your last internship."
"I had pneumonia."
"You were eating 600 calories a day and walking 10 miles."
"Immaterial. You see--" I leaned forward like a movie detective. "Being as I'm in fact a fucking fatass, restricting that much shouldn't cause me any physical harm whatsoever. No doctor ever diagnosed me with ED-related physical illness. Therefore, it was just a stupid diet that didn't even work."
"Do you want to pass out at your first real job? You've been talking about this job for months."
"...Maybe."
This has been the nature of my conversations with most of my friends lately. Currently my ex (EDNOS) is barely speaking to me because I snapped at her when she told me "I know what's best for eating disorders"; half my friends think I'm trying to tell them they're overweight (they are, but this is none of my business); and I nearly got kicked out of my other support group for insisting I don't have an ED.
Tl;dr: I obviously don't have an ED and probably shouldn't be on this board. Also, if I restrict enough, maybe I'll save enough on food to afford ED treatment.
[Help] A guy I’ve been dating found a mean note I left in my fridge to prevent myself from binging. I want to cry.
/u/humandumpsterfire [5'8" | 140 | 22.7 | -40 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 09:53:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n2hdz/a_guy_ive_been_dating_found_a_mean_note_i_left_in/
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Long story short, I’ve been casually dating a guy for a couple months and he was over a few nights ago. He doesn’t know about my eating disorder but he knows I’m trying to lose weight.
He found a note in my fridge that I had written that said something like “look at your fat disgusting stomach before eating this” or whatever.
I keep almost nothing in my fridge because I have no self-control, but I make my hummus myself because it’s cheaper, and one batch makes quite a lot. I left a note taped to it because I thought it would stop me if I thought about binging.
When he found it he looked so confused. I tried to not make it obvious how much I was panicking when I told him it was nothing. I even tried to laugh it off and said “I like to eat the whole container sometimes.” Fuck fuck fuck fuck. WHY did I tell him that?
I ruined everything. I feel disgusting that he read what I wrote about myself. Now every time he sees my stomach he’ll remember what I wrote.
I was already insecure because all his ex’s are way skinnier than me, and he's already made comments before about never dating a girl with such big boobs (he meant it as a compliment I think but my boobs make me look fat so he really meant he's never been with a girl as big as I am).
I want to cry. I like him so much but I don't want him to know about my eating disorder because I don't want that to define me. I keep it a secret from partners because people always overreact and look at me differently when I eat. One bf took it upon himself to start counting my calories secretly so he could prove I didn't eat enough. It's just better not to tell anyone.
Sorry if I sound over-dramatic. I just can't stop replaying this over and over in my head and I keep seeing his shocked face.
Please, I could use some advice if anyone has any :(
[Discussion] With school right around the corner, what's the best method you've found for working out while studying/ restricting/ and just in general tips?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F | 119 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 13 09:31:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n2bzy/with_school_right_around_the_corner_whats_the/
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I hope I'm not breaking the rules here, but it would be great to get some advice on how to handle the stresses of school while having an ED.
Like does anyone study while on an exercise bike, or bring small snacks to class? I don't want to be worried about gaining weight I want to focus on school! ^but ^also ^not ^gain ^weight
[Discussion] At what point did you realize that you had an eating disorder?
/u/moljhgpc
Created: Thu Jul 13 09:09:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n26x7/at_what_point_did_you_realize_that_you_had_an/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n26x7/at_what_point_did_you_realize_that_you_had_an/
[Rant/Rave] I have found taking 200mg of caffeine with my EC stack is not for me lol
/u/skaggs123 [5'4 | 138 | BMI: 24.15 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 08:59:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n24se/i_have_found_taking_200mg_of_caffeine_with_my_ec/
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[removed]
Today's lunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 08:53:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n23ez/todays_lunch/
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https://i.redd.it/f3e0twmeid9z.jpg
[Help] I have to go out to lunch and pretend to eat like a normal person
/u/geekgirlalicia
Created: Thu Jul 13 08:15:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n1v9t/i_have_to_go_out_to_lunch_and_pretend_to_eat_like/
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This is my first post here, but I've been lurking in the comments for about a week. I was 4 years "recovered" but I'm relapsing hard and I'm honestly so happy about it. I feel so gross.
Anyway, I'm supposed to go out to lunch with my boyfriend and his brother, and whenever I go to this place, I have to get the French dip sandwich and fries and I'm just sitting here freaking out about it. I've been ~500 cal. every day this week and I'm going to ruin it with this stupid lunch that I actually hate myself for kind of wanting anyway. I guess I'll skip dinner?
Does anyone else freak out when they have to go out to eat with family? There's really no point in me trying to order a salad or something because they come with a ton of heavy toppings and if I get that and ask for it plain it's just going to draw more attention to myself :(
[Thinspo] Getting closer every day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 07:51:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n1q4g/getting_closer_every_day/
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https://i.redd.it/pll6sarj7d9z.jpg
[Other] My food scales
/u/smoothcoat
Created: Thu Jul 13 07:30:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n1luh/my_food_scales/
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https://i.redd.it/im881bmo3d9z.jpg
[Goal] I'm going lose 15 lbs instead of gaining the dreaded Freshman Fifteen.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 07:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n1ide/im_going_lose_15_lbs_instead_of_gaining_the/
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I want to be able to boast about how much I've eaten and how fat I've gotten at college whereas I'm actually going to lose fifteen pounds and get Super Strong.
I hope it works out :0
[Rant/Rave] Binged on ~700 calories of fruits and vegetables and then ~300 calories of dry PB2
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 07:00:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n1g6q/binged_on_700_calories_of_fruits_and_vegetables/
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[deleted]
Best diet pills?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 13 06:56:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n1fdt/best_diet_pills/
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[removed]
[Intro] I'm new
/u/sleep_stevia
Created: Thu Jul 13 06:46:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n1drm/im_new/
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Hey everyone. I'm new to Reddit and came on here since it was popping up on MPA. Little bit about me, I'm 17, make that 18 as of yesterday. This'll be my 13rd relapse, diagnosed Anorexia purge subtype when I was 16 (fun times). Let's see... I'm from Oz, I'm applying to Oxford and if my ED doesn't get in the way I might actually have a chance haha. Uhmmmm that's pretty much it. Hopefully you'll be seeing me around here X
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support July 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 13 06:11:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n17f2/weekly_emotional_support_july_13_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 13, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 13 06:10:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n17b3/daily_food_diary_july_13_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 13, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Fighting the urge to binge arrghbbllflflrrldshghtjtjt
/u/Profeshed
Created: Thu Jul 13 06:08:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n16z2/fighting_the_urge_to_binge/
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I woke up at 3am and I can't fall back sleep. I overate yesterday so naturally all I can think about is eating. But I don't want to eat today, I want to fast. I'm going to a rave on Saturday and I gained like 4-6 lb since last month and I already know I'm gonna feel like shit. I want to fast today. All I can think about is milky coffee, but of course I shouldn't have that because then I'll say well I already had milk so now I want cereal, and of course that will turn into a fuck all.
I'm trying not to get up and go to the kitchen and let myself gorge on something stupid.
I'll just keep lying here on my side. My thighs feel so fat touching each other. Blech
[Intro] Into post?
/u/fitterbythesecondd [178cm | 85.6kg | 26.9 | ?? | 25F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 05:29:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n10nk/into_post/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I met the most amazing doctor while on work experience and tbh she's my new inspiration
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'2.5" | CW: 46kg | GW: 40 kg | UGW: happy]
Created: Thu Jul 13 04:31:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n0s63/i_met_the_most_amazing_doctor_while_on_work/
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[removed]
[Humor] Any one else lmao
/u/-M00nFlower
Created: Thu Jul 13 04:15:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n0py8/any_one_else_lmao/
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https://i.redd.it/nj5i1icx4c9z.jpg
[Intro] How I got started
/u/Vermethys
Created: Thu Jul 13 03:58:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n0ng1/how_i_got_started/
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I was always really little to begin with, I'm only 5'2 and the most I've ever weighed was about 123 lbs which isn't a lot. I was never really insecure about my body until after I hit puberty. I have really big boobs for my size, I'm a double D, and my thighs are bigger than I think they should be. I look like the hourglass figure that's popular in today's society, but that's where my problems began.
Ever since about 7th grade, I was 12, guys would overly sexualize EVERYTHING I did. I couldn't walk the goddamn hallways without some guy talking about or looking at how much my chest bounced. It only got worse as I grew older because I developed even more. I've had grown fucking men hit on me when I was with my family. I'm only 16 now so obviously I was underage when all of that happened.
Anyway, about a year ago I started to hate my body because of how much unwanted attention it gave me so I started dieting and trying to burn off all my curves. I'm still trying to. Am I the only person that got into this illness because of the people I surrounded myself with?
[Help] Unsuccessfully tried to purge, now my face is fucked up?
/u/PM_M3_UR_SECRETS
Created: Thu Jul 13 02:57:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n0fib/unsuccessfully_tried_to_purge_now_my_face_is/
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I guess I should start by saying that I don't have a serious diagnosed eating disorder, I do some things that would be considered disordered eating but it's not very consistent and usually I don't harm myself a lot doing it. I hope it's still okay to post here, if not I will take my post down.
I had a horrible week, I went over my calorie goal every single day last week and especially this Tuesday I overate massively. I've never purged before, I've tried it kind of half-assed before but it never worked, and I didn't keep on trying.
This time though I felt so fucking disgusting and I felt nauseous and like I *needed* to throw up. I didn't think I was gonna have to force it much but it didn't work again and I tried a couple times more, but nothing came out. I noticed my face and especially my eyes were super red after.
Then the next day I wake up and there are weird red dots everywhere on the upper part of my face, looks like burst blood vessels or something... Has anyone ever had that? Is it going to go away? And is there anyone else who just cannot make themselves puke no matter what?
Sorry again if this is not the right place to post, I'm not trying to trivialize eating disorders or act like it's just a way to diet, that's just what happened and I don't know anyone else I could talk to about it.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else have ED tendencies wrapped up in gender issues?
/u/RandomHumanite [5'1" | 26F (???)]
Created: Thu Jul 13 01:53:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n07gp/anyone_else_have_ed_tendencies_wrapped_up_in/
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Looking too feminine to come out as non-binary is an asshole, y'all.
[Rant/Rave] Things are getting better, and I think I'm finally ready for recovery
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Thu Jul 13 01:12:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6n020h/things_are_getting_better_and_i_think_im_finally/
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In case you haven't been stalking me, I'm moving away from home into 'foster—care'(not what it is, best word I can find to describe it) but basically I'm going to be living at an institution. This is non—ED related, I'm leaving because my mom willingly/unwillingly(depending on who you ask lol) gave me a trauma.
They're going to have total control over my food. This means that I cannot binge, and this also means that I cannot restrict as severely as I want to. I was going to use this oppurtunity to do high—restriction, but honestly I am tired.
I'm fifteen. Life is supposed to be fun. You know what's not fun? Eating three loaves of bread, having your teeth rot, and being cold because you haven't eaten for days.
And I'm fucking done. And I know, I say this shit every three months or so, but honestly I don't want to anymore.
My BMI is 19.2, it's not like I'm a fucking landwhale, no matter how badly my mind wants me to believe that. And I know a lot about healthy eating, I probably won't balloon any further.
I'm still gonna stick around, make some comments, post a couple of memes, and maybe even make some ranting posts about how they put cream in the salad, and I thought it was greek yoghurt, and now I have hit morbid obesity™
Today will be the last day of possible calorie counting, then I'm going in for two weeks. No food scale, no decisions, no nothing.
I'm done. Fuck you, ED. Fuck you all the way to Mars, fuck you for taking my life, and fuck you for making it so hard to take it back.
Bye to everyone, you're all amazing and wonderful. I hope you'll all reach your GWs and you'll all be happy one day.
<3
[Other] The Photographic Height-Weight Chart: I thought this might help others as much as it has helped me with my body dysmorphia 😊
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Thu Jul 13 00:47:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mzyfu/the_photographic_heightweight_chart_i_thought/
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http://www.height-weight-chart.com
[Other] Hello this is Ambien me
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 99.4| BMI:19.4 l GW 90| -45 l]
Created: Thu Jul 13 00:45:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mzy4b/hello_this_is_ambien_me/
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You bet your ass I'm starting again bitch. The anxiety about binging and undoing this damage and my goals and how far I've come and how far I have yet to go is putting a fire under my ass at 2 am. Gonma ride this ED wave straight into morning and never stop agaim. Thing is, I should gwt some sleep to reset the clock to tomorrow when I will begin. Hence the Ambien. Wisj me luck. autocorrect isn't helping.g much
I always get a weird bisrt of energy after dosing. I feel absolutely manic. This should be fun to find in the moening. Niiiiiiighhhhjjjjjt maybe
[Discussion] Do you have any favorite cooking shows or blogs?
/u/run_far_girl [5'0 | CW: 92 | BMI: 18.9/17.96 | Pear for love, Pear for life]
Created: Thu Jul 13 00:25:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mzvdr/do_you_have_any_favorite_cooking_shows_or_blogs/
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I am all caught up on my all time favorite cooking channel on YouTube, "Cooking with Dog". It hosts Chef who until this November posted cooking videos of Japanese dishes next to the narrator, her toy poodle Francis. While I don't always eat what I cook, it is something I can do with my aging O'bachan (grandma in Japanese) that still offers me some comfort.
I am looking for new options be they YouTube channels, TV/Netflix shows, or blogs. So lovelies, if you don't mind me asking, what are your favorite "food porn" resources?
[Help] Calorie counting app with an offline database? I'm going abroad and I'm so anxious about not being able to count :(( help
/u/kroftaulice
Created: Thu Jul 13 00:20:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mzun6/calorie_counting_app_with_an_offline_database_im/
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Hey,
I use myfitnesspal pal but it needs Internet, I'm going to a cabin in the woods for 2 weeks with family and there is no signal.
I've been downloading all the iOS apps but all of those need data to work ughhh
I can't not count my calories
Does anybody know of an offline database for calories
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
[Help] Help me lose my appetite?
/u/foreverthefatgirl [5'11 | CW: FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 23:45:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mzpje/help_me_lose_my_appetite/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Fear of mirrors?
/u/loseitjen
Created: Wed Jul 12 22:49:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mzgvn/fear_of_mirrors/
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alright so obviously i'm not like afraid of mirror but oh my god am i terrified to look into them. i work at a place that has two mirrors in it and whenever i walk past i refuse to look in them. i never look at myself for more than 5 secons bc i start to feel disgusted. also can't deal with full body pictures of myself. i feel like i can't express this to anyone i know IRL so pleaaase tell me someone relates lol
[Help] I'm so fucking depressed right now and Idk what to do.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 22:34:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mze70/im_so_fucking_depressed_right_now_and_idk_what_to/
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[deleted]
[Help] Stomach pain after fast
/u/PmMeNiceGenitals
Created: Wed Jul 12 22:20:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mzbrs/stomach_pain_after_fast/
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So I started a fast on Sunday, I kinda fucked up though, on Sunday evening. I had a slushie and some chips but I purged them up. After that I haven't ate. On Tuesday I caved and ate some nachos but nothing else. When I went to work that evening, I felt so shitty I had to leave early. I had cold sweats and no matter how many times I went to the restroom I hurt. Has this ever happened to anyone else before? Is this common after fasting?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like such a failure
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Wed Jul 12 22:06:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mz99q/i_feel_like_such_a_failure/
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A few months ago I lost 20 pounds in a months. I would carefully plan everything, now I don't know how to plan anything and when I do try to plan my food I fuck up and fail. And these days I can't stop binge-purging. A few months ago I purged every 2-3 weeks at most, but now it's almost everyday, because I just can't stop eating. Everyday I hold off on eating for as long as possible, I finally decide to have a small healthy dinner, then I end up binging and because I binged I need to purge. I do this basically everyday, somedays I manage not to eat, but I'll always binge the next day. I've tried to eat throughout the day, but it either turns into an all day binge or I end up binging that night.
I use to be so good, but now I just suck...
[Tip] USDA Food Database
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 22:02:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mz8m7/usda_food_database/
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I have seen some posts on here about people not being sure if calorie info on the internet, labels, or myfitnesspal are accurate. I just wanted to let you all know about the USDA Food Composition Database. All of the over 200,000 foods are measured in their laboratory and the calories, micronutrients, and macronutrients of the foods are broken down. I actually learned about this website in my college nutrition class and it's what we based all our meal plans off of. I believe that this database is the most accurate source of nutrition info available to us. I use it for all foods that don't have nutrition facts listed on the label such as fruits, veggies, meats, fish, alcohol, etc. I hope this helps some of you.
Link:
https://ndb.nal.usda.gov/ndb/search/list
Fucked up
/u/Inxthewolf
Created: Wed Jul 12 22:02:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mz8ix/fucked_up/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] living alone
/u/izzy_garcia-shapiro [5'1 | CW TOO HIGH | LW 84 | GW 90]
Created: Wed Jul 12 21:46:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mz5q3/rantrave_living_alone/
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So I'm living alone for the first time. Move in day, we order pizza and get cookies, and I eat a fuckton. And then everyone leaves. And I have no groceries. And you guys...since then, I just haven't eaten anything but the unsweetened kefir I take my AM pills with. There's literally nothing in the fridge but kefir, condiments, and la croix.
I even had to go to the store today for pet food, and I just *didn't buy any human food*. This shit is going so well right now! Just drinking tea and la croix and fantasising about being thin enough to socialise normally again. Like, I know I'll have to formulate some kind of actual diet plan soon (especially since I need to start exercising), but for now I'm just gonna put off eating for as long as possible. :)
[Rant/Rave] I received quite the ego boost today...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 21:40:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mz4s5/i_received_quite_the_ego_boost_today/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE get stressed when they realize they aren't the smallest size the store carries?
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Wed Jul 12 21:04:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myyb7/dae_get_stressed_when_they_realize_they_arent_the/
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I bought a pair of Brandy Melville jeans in a size small and they fit kind of snug, but I'm restricting so I bought them so they could be an indication of how much weight I'm losing. I think Brandy sells the same pants in a size xs and now I NEED to go back and buy the pants in a size xs so I can try to fit into them. It's my goal to be the smallest size possible in every store.
[Humor] When my wife finds me on the bathroom from after taking too many laxatives
/u/ClashTenniShoes [6'M | 212 lb| 28.8 BMI | -11 lb | UGW 190]
Created: Wed Jul 12 21:01:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myxsi/when_my_wife_finds_me_on_the_bathroom_from_after/
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https://68.media.tumblr.com/5ac49fb70727bfee2c516b9fc6ad07cb/tumblr_nwflswdBJn1udkhfio1_1280.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My binge was only 400 calories! And i'm satisfied...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 20:55:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mywni/my_binge_was_only_400_calories_and_im_satisfied/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] When you can't distinguish your ED thoughts from your logical thoughts
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 20:43:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myud9/when_you_cant_distinguish_your_ed_thoughts_from/
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I've always felt like I have two brains; one is my disorder (which is constantly spewing bullshit), and one is the non-disordered, logical brain. In general, it's pretty easy to distinguish between the two. Intense guilt over half a cup of nonfat yogurt? That's the disorder talking. Accepting weight gain as a part of recovery? Sounds like logic. Being able to tell which is which doesn't necessarily help me disregard the ED, but I really do feel like I can tell the difference.
But everything changes when it comes to my body. This past week, I've been *positive* that I'm gaining weight. I could see it, I could feel it, my clothes were tighter, my thighs were jigglier, and it simply made sense with the amount I've been eating. I genuinely thought this was my logical brain talking (though I guess I should have known it was the ED because of how much it made me hate myself). Earlier today, I was weighed by my dietician, and she told me in no uncertain terms that I'm *losing* weight. I'm not just Not Gaining. I'm Losing.
It's like I can't trust myself anymore. I feel like I must be insane. This is what insanity is, isn't it? Thoroughly and utterly believing things that simply aren't true? Honestly I don't know what's worse, body dysmorphia alone or the entire eating disorder. This is so frustrating. And almost scary. I feel like such a freak. Eating disorders are so much fun.
BED sufferers in this sub: thoughts?
/u/ashlynlollis
Created: Wed Jul 12 20:38:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mytjz/bed_sufferers_in_this_sub_thoughts/
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https://i.redd.it/jcqzchsgv99z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] DAE want to look sick?
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 130lbs | 21.07 | GW: <114 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 19:37:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myhza/dae_want_to_look_sick/
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Not "sick" as in cool, but "sick" as in unhealthy.
I'm tired of people posting fitspo. Your big booty isn't inspiring. It's disgusting. I don't want to look healthy/strong - I want to look thin and fragile. I want my outside body to reflect my inside body: thin and fragile.
[Rant/Rave] That stubborn fucking neck fat tho
/u/gothshit [5"4 | SW 180 lbs | CW 142 lbs | GW 125 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 19:33:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myhae/that_stubborn_fucking_neck_fat_tho/
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in the last ~30 lbs it's shrunken, but i still have that ski slope thing going on. my neck connects my bony chin to the bony base of my neck in a very direct and unfeminine angle. ppl who have had a problem w this, did it ever go away? (ur neck or the hatred for it) i'm so sick of hating myself over it
[Discussion] Has anyone experimented with laxatives?
/u/donjuan_c
Created: Wed Jul 12 19:29:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mygk9/has_anyone_experimented_with_laxatives/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Not what you expected. Warning - Detail
/u/caLAfrownia [172CM | 125 | 19.9 | 5lb | Female]
Created: Wed Jul 12 19:22:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myf68/not_what_you_expected_warning_detail/
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So some of you remember yesterday I went to my parents house... Well... turns out I ate that meal .. it wasn't bad.. like it was half a stuffed mushroom and some mussels .. but I'm saying it wasn't bad because I purged it out with laxatives... and this morning I went to a cardio circuit class at core power yoga.
WELL I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPNED BUT
out of no where I broke my fast and ate 3 slices of pizza and a bowl of cereal with chocolate covered pretzles and I'm PISSED .
apparently I waited to long to purge through the mouth so that upset me more and now IM EVEN MORE PISSED because I'm so broke I can't even go buy laxatives like how am I coping right now. have no idea. I don't even want to weigh in I'm so scared ... I might go do a class of yoga but I'm like ahhhhh. I just feel so SO set back its messing with my head.
[Intro] I'm new here!
/u/FlyJaneFly
Created: Wed Jul 12 19:19:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myep1/im_new_here/
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Hello everyone! I've been lurking here on and off for months, but I'm finally ready to interact. I actually think that I NEED to interact -- I've been binge eating for weeks, and I keep putting off Day 1. Today is the new Day 1 (again), and I've been tempted all day to start FOR REALSIES tomorrow or Monday or August 1 or or or... Logically, I realize that this is a stupid, never-ending cycle. I'm hoping that being more active here will help keep me motivated and accountable.
I identify as a food addict. (I've also struggled with alcohol abuse in the past, but dealing with that was easy compared to my food issues.) I started getting obsessive about calories when I was 15, and I'm 37 now, so this goes waaaaaay back. I've never been officially diagnosed with anything, and I'd like to keep it that way.
At least I no longer starve myself to the degree I did as a teen. I feel like I function best both physically and mentally when I'm lightly restricting, somewhere in the 1000-1300 calorie range, so I try to stick around there when I'm "on". When I'm "off" -- that's binge mode, and I'd like to stay away from there.
When I was younger, this aspect of my life was fueled by vanity, but now it's definitely more of a control thing. Doling out calories in neat little portions satisfies me in a unique way. I like looking at my food log before going to bed at night, knowing that I won't be waking up in a pile of candy wrappers and wondering what the hell happened.
Enough rambling! I'm glad to be here, and I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone.
[Other] Friends all went to the pool without me, but it's ok...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 19:16:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mye6f/friends_all_went_to_the_pool_without_me_but_its_ok/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Binge binge binge
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 19:13:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mydo5/binge_binge_binge/
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Every time I know I'm going to try to heavily restrict or fast for several days I go craaaazy the night/day before. Also one of my major motivators to fast is to feel thinner and to not have to poop when spending excessive time with a guy... but said guy is going out of town tomorrow for quite a while soooo binge binge binge and then fast fast fast as long as I can before going out with a guy I knew in college who was a personal trainer and is now a physical therapist fml I'm so fat and gross
[Rant/Rave] I'm worried I won't be able to recover and lose weight at the same time
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 18:56:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6myaem/im_worried_i_wont_be_able_to_recover_and_lose/
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I've been trying to eat more/regularly for my boyfriend but I'm scared it's going to lead to weight gain. It did last time I wasn't paying attention to calories/portions and I'm worried it's going to happen again. I went from 119 to 137 lbs within a few months. I'm back down to around 130 but my weight fluctuates a lot.
I also keep relapsing because I'm so fucking easily triggered. I work in an escort agency as a receptionist and one of the escorts just came through my office, she was so pretty and tiny. Because of what the job is, we have all their measurements and weight/height recorded so I'm constantly comparing myself to them.
I just want to be perfect and not fucked up but it's so hard being normal. I've been doing yoga daily and I want to also add in cardio to amp up weight loss/toning but my anxiety is preventing me from going outside other than to get to work/back.
[Thinspo] Sometimes I come across thinspo that just makes my heart sink because I wished I looked like that so bad. Today, this pic is what got me.
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Wed Jul 12 18:44:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6my80k/sometimes_i_come_across_thinspo_that_just_makes/
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https://i.redd.it/2hcj0vn3b99z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Belt broke
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 18:17:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6my2zu/belt_broke/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend needs to gain weight so I'm taking my anxiety against food out on cooking for him.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Wed Jul 12 17:58:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxz0k/boyfriend_needs_to_gain_weight_so_im_taking_my/
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My boyfriend is tall and thin. He's always been incredibly active but his house rarely has food in it for a lot of reasons. When I go over there, there is literally a couple eggs in the fridge and top ramen in the pantry. He's been wanting to gain weight lately so I volunteered to start cooking for him and oh. My. God. I love it.
Yesterday I made him protein bars and literally just poured heavy cream and peanut butter and coconut oil in to the mix for a way to get good fat calories and it was literally thrilling. Trying to make meals that are as calorie dense as possible vs as few as possible is so stress relieving and almost therapeutic.
[Help] Feeling horribly guilty about treatment stays
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 17:45:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxwjt/feeling_horribly_guilty_about_treatment_stays/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like MFP is lying to me 😡😡
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Wed Jul 12 17:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxv49/i_feel_like_mfp_is_lying_to_me/
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https://i.redd.it/jgz3ogzaz89z.jpg
[Intro] Back and forth
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Wed Jul 12 17:17:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxque/back_and_forth/
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Hiya! Finally decided to make a separate account and subscribe. I've been lurking here for ages but never took the step and joined, until now :)
I've been back going back and forth between restricting and eating what I guess you would call a normal amount (guiltily ofc) for about a year now, but this is the place I always go when I want motivation to lose weight. Last time I restricted I ended up getting super close to fainting, having a panic attack, and then having two more within the following three days. I got down to my lowest weight since I stopped growing tho, and damn close to underweight. Just came here looking for support from a community that I think gets me more than most <3
[Other] Loseit/Fitbit friends?
/u/Briismars46 [5"6 | CW:123 | 19.85 |GW:109 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 16:27:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxgjy/loseitfitbit_friends/
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Hey I know this gets posted every once in awhile- but anyone want to be friends on Loseit or Fitbit?
Sadly I don't have any IRL friends and no family near me or interested 😅
On mobile don't know how to tag sorry mods.
[Rant/Rave] Yet another ridiculous nutritional label so that they can advertise 0 calories, who only eats 2/3 of a pickle spear??
/u/autotrapqueen [5'7.5| CW 135 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 16:21:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxfbw/yet_another_ridiculous_nutritional_label_so_that/
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https://i.redd.it/05lro8all89z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Eating at 1200 calories makes me gain weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 16:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxdwl/eating_at_1200_calories_makes_me_gain_weight/
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\#shortgirlstruggle
After four days of eating at 1200 calories, I've seen a slow but steady increase in my weight that isn't due to water weight (I'm not eating high-sodium foods), or food weight (regular BMs thanks to more fiber in diet and coffee). It's not the drastic five-ten pound difference you would see because of a binge. I don't even know what to say, folks. The one time I voluntarily try to eat at a normal calorie goal, I gain. If that's not a deterrent to recovering, I don't know what is.
Anyway, I'm going back to sub-1000 restriction. I want to lose at least 1 pound a week. (If I was healthy, I'd still eat 1200 and burn off 500 a day, but I'm a lazy piece of shit.) Only thing is, I don't trust any of the TDEE calculators online, so I think I'll just eat 500 under my BMR to be extra certain I'm losing.
[Help] making loved ones feel better about your condition?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 16:00:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mxasa/making_loved_ones_feel_better_about_your_condition/
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theres this guy that im pretty in love with and i stress about his well being constantly because he has similar mental health problems to mine (minus an ED). i try to minimize the amount of stress i cause him because he gets really upset about my eating issues/ self harm and it makes me feel like im going to die of guilt. is there anyway to make him feel a little better about what im doing to myself? i tried to eat more for my birthday yesterday in an attempt to make him feel better but i had to throw it up. im really not ready for recovery but i cant think of how to help him not be so scared of all of this.
have any of you dealt with this? we live far from each other so i cant do anything not over the phone or text. i just want to make him happy but i dont know how to do that and it stresses me out to no end.
[Rant/Rave] Oh my god, I'm pretty!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 15:47:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mx7s7/oh_my_god_im_pretty/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does anyone else's ED cause serious financial problems?
/u/igby23
Created: Wed Jul 12 15:34:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mx4vc/does_anyone_elses_ed_cause_serious_financial/
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My binge eating has been so bad over the past few months that I actually now have a very large credit card bill and it's making me hate myself that much more. It feels like there's no aspect of my life I'm able to control! I've gained ten pounds in four months and it all came from my take out binges (20-60$ of food at a time). When am I going to learn to just eat and spend within a budget!? It's so simple and I just keep fucking it up over and over again. I told a friend of mine this and they were totally shocked by the size of my credit bill which just confirms that this has gone so far beyond the realm of normal.
Best way to lose muscle/fat without any exercise.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 15:12:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwzz1/best_way_to_lose_musclefat_without_any_exercise/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Finally decided to introduce myself! (sorry it's long)
/u/pershon17707 [5' 6'' | 97 lbs |Female]
Created: Wed Jul 12 15:10:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwzfg/finally_decided_to_introduce_myself_sorry_its_long/
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Hello everyone! I've been lurking on here for a while now and although I have commented a few times lately I wanna be more involved. This is honestly such a kind community of people and I love it!
So i'll say a bit about me, i've been hospitalized twice although not for an ED. First I was in a residential program where they didn't really notice if you didn't eat much but my mom did so she pulled me out of there. The summer after that a lot happened in my life and I just got more depressed and long story short I ended up in Inpatient. To be honest i'm not sure if they formally diagnosed me with an eating disorder but they sure treated me like I had one . They wanted to check my weight a lot and always had me face away. I also wasn't allowed to use the bathroom for an hour after eating for a while too, that was annoying. Anyway the point is I never really thought about my weight until I was there. I've sorta always been slightly underweight even when I was really young. For a long while my dad i guess didn't like that or was worried for me so even though my pediatrician always told my dad I was healthy, he would usually try to make me eat a lot like to the extent of forcing me to stay at the dinner table and eat extra meatballs. Probably why I don't like meatballs now haha. But he got over it and left me alone and I was healthy. Over the years i do remember some disordered eating habits I now recognize, for example c/s junk food into an empty soda can in my room but i only did that a few times.
So nowadays I actually have gone fully into this disordered mindset we all know so well. I have started a new antidepressant and it give me motivation and I certainly noticed a difference! I exercise and try to eat healthy (when I do eat, although had a few b/p episodes) but I'm a bit obsessive and let my OCD and this new motivation fuel my disordered habits. I moved to where I am now a few years ago and switched around schools and homeschooling etc. and although i'm at a school to stay having just finished my junior year, I still don't really have many friends besides my dog :)
Just want to say again how happy I am to have found this community of such wonderful people! Sorry this is longer than I thought it would be, but thanks for reading! Hope everyone is having a good day :)
[Rant/Rave] Got my philtrum pierced...
/u/desperate_housecat [5'2" | CW: 125?? GW: 115 UGW: 108 | 22F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 15:10:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwzdc/got_my_philtrum_pierced/
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[Tag rant/rave]
...and I can't eat it hurts so badly. So I have an awesome new piercing and the kickstart I needed to get back into heavy restricting 😊
[Discussion] highest new low
/u/z0boe [167cm |CW: 53kg |GW: 50kg|UGW:47kg|-15kg|]
Created: Wed Jul 12 15:03:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwxsk/highest_new_low/
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It's a weird feeling. Started purging in the kitchen sink for the first time the other day and it's probably a new ed low. But tbh it's really convenient compared to a bathroom in a fucked up way. Theres salt and mustard on demand (i don't really have a gag reflex), if the taps on I can just say that I'm washing the dishes and I can always grab a glass of filtered water if I need one.
Its the highest new low (i love oxymorons).
Anyone else?
[Intro] I feel like im falling into a trap.
/u/singintherein
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwwum/i_feel_like_im_falling_into_a_trap/
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First- I'm super new to Reddit- always a reader never a poster. So hi! If I break any rules can you tell me?
Thanks I dont want to offend anyone.
Anyway. I have always had a horrible addiction to food. I would eat every single day more and more and more. I felt horrible, I looked worse.
A year ago I was able to restrict and work out and did really really well.... But then, I got hurt. I couldn't do my workouts because I could barely stand. I felt super depressed. A month ago tomorrow I went to my doctor and hit my all time high in weight. 288 lbs.
What the hell.
How did this happen to me? Who am I? I told my doctor I needed a change I was upset and depressed and about to just give up. She put me on Wellbutrin. 300mg split into two 150 doses a day.
I. Have. Changed. Starting that first day I started counting calories. I haven't been above 500 at all. (super different from before when I must have been well into the thousands) in a matter of just under four weeks I have lost 21 lbs. I know it's not healthy, but I'm on top of the world. I can't stop....
But I guess I can.... Tonight I have eaten 1100 calories.... My husband brought home a pizza.... My favorite food. I'm so upset. I couldn't help myself. I was at 0 calories all day and it jumped so high so quickly. I'm just so upset with myself. That's not super accurate because I did a workout earlier. But I pretend that never happened as far as calorie counting goes.
I'm just upset and can't talk to anyone about this. So here I am. This forum has secretly been here for me (even though none of you knew it) over the past couple months and I'm so thankful for you all. I figured I would say hi.
Hi. I'm Rein. I'm sorry I'm so crazy.
[Help] I'm being admitted today
/u/Giraffemakinfriends
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:52:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwv8b/im_being_admitted_today/
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I'm being admitted to behavioral health today and I'm really scared. I've never even had a hospital stay outside of the stay after giving birth to my son. It isn't even for my eating disorder. It's for the mass amounts of self harm. I can see the muscle on my arm. I've ruined everything. I'm supposed to work tomorrow and all weekend until Tuesday (12 hr shifts) that $600. $600. $600 that we need for my son's surgery on the 20th. I'm so scared. I've destroyed our entire lives because I'm so weak. Help.
[Help] Help, am I developing something more serious?
/u/CouldNotLoadUsername [13|F|Prof-Diagnosed|AN]
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:36:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwrcu/help_am_i_developing_something_more_serious/
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I'm scared I'm starting to binge, but I'm not sure if what I'm doing is binging or just eating a lot. I probably sound really conceited, since I know it isn't **a lot** of food at all, but I'm terrified my mind set is going to develop in to something far worse.
I just ate 100 calories of biscuits, not much at all and considering I'm on a weight gain plan for pre-recovery and I've been skipping my lunches and morning snacks, I'm still eating less than I'm supposed to. But as I was eating the biscuits I'd planned to have 2, but they're just so fucking good that I was like "I want to have another one, because it tastes good and I guess this is me recovering" and so I ate another one when I shouldn't have, and then I ate another using the same logic, trying to justify it with "oh well, I didn't eat lunch anyway"
Is this binge logic? Is it possible it could turn in to something worse? I'm really terrified right now.
[Rant/Rave] I hate my body so much. I wish I didn't look like this. (mildly nsfw)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:35:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwqxl/i_hate_my_body_so_much_i_wish_i_didnt_look_like/
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https://i.redd.it/wu6kmioj289z.jpg
[Help] First time posting, fasting problems?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:08:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwkkg/first_time_posting_fasting_problems/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever feel good because you feel bad?
/u/UniW [6'2" | CW:215lb | GW:175lb | -17lb | 23M]
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:07:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwk4q/do_you_ever_feel_good_because_you_feel_bad/
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I have just one picture of myself from my lowest weight. I didn't used to look at it because it reminded me of how god-awfully soul-crushing life was at the time, but the more I look at it now the more I start to miss it.
I could fast for days at a time without blinking an eye. I swam for two hours every evening. I was thin. I looked GOOD. I had a thigh gap ffs that I honestly never noticed until now.
Now I can't stop thinking about it. I'm reliving every terrible moment from that period day in and day out and it makes me want to break down and cry. There's a constant sinking feeling in my stomach that feels so bad/good, like a physical compulsion for self control replacing hunger.
I feel amazing... and bad... but amazing because I feel bad. No food until Sunday at the earliest, so help me god.
[Rant/Rave] I weigh more than my boyfriend and it's ruining my life. (Story in comments)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:05:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwjnx/i_weigh_more_than_my_boyfriend_and_its_ruining_my/
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https://i.redd.it/8epegi4ax79z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] As I fall deeper down my ED hole, I realize more and more that my mother had/has an ED as well.
/u/lil_ginge
Created: Wed Jul 12 14:03:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwjb2/as_i_fall_deeper_down_my_ed_hole_i_realize_more/
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I'm wondering how I never noticed it before, but on a day to day basis more and more behaviors of mine are reminding me of my mother.
Looking back now, I can remember her house being the only place I ever went that had a scale. I know she weighed herself obsessively just as I do now, but back then, during my childhood, I didn't understand the implications or the abnormality of that behavior.
I can remember thinking that she didn't need as much food because she was smaller than most of the other adults in my life. But I was only at her house a week or a weekend of the month, so I wonder how much more she restricted when I wasn't with her.
And even when she would eat normal portions, I can recognize now that it was only of inherently low calorie foods.
She's still to this day the only person I hear talk about her weight in terms of pounds. When we went on a trip together recently, I remember her saying she was finally back down to X lbs, which was incidentally the same weight that I was at.
I feel for her, so much. And I hate that I don't have the courage to approach this topic with her. And I respect her for silently struggling with this with minor effects on her children. My struggles are a result of my own depression and low self esteem and I hope that I'm able to minimize the impact on my children as well.
[Rant/Rave] One step forward, one step back
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 13:52:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwgl1/one_step_forward_one_step_back/
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Argh.
Yesterday I met my meal plan for the most part, and ended up high restricting (~1,500 cals, my meal plan is 1,900 minimum). I started off okay today, even rising to the challenge of having a smoothie per my therapist's recommendation. Now lunch is probably not happening and I for sure lied about it already.
Recovery is a bitch. I'm going to get back on track with my PM snack and dinner, or at least I hope to. I just really can't go back to res again. I can't be put in a structured facility without feeling like I failed at the weight loss game. It's helpful to have that support, and I'm glad I did a week in Res this year but even if I slept through it (I did) I still was the fattest one there (objectively, I was the only one not on weight restoration) and that kicked the ED into high gear when I came home to learn I was homeless.
Thank god I have a great home now, so I want to appreciate what I have and fight the ED.
[Rant/Rave] IM UNDERWEIGHT!!!!!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 13:49:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwfp2/im_underweight/
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this day was shitty but im so fucking happy now. i got home from summer school and stepped on the scale and it read 119 flat. im 5'7.5" so that puts me just underweight. i had high sodium high fat thai food yesterday and then chocolate cake, threw it up because i was so worried, but despite that i still lost a pound. i might even weigh less because of water retention due to that thai food and the fact that i didnt weigh in the morning. ive been restricting super low and exercising for like 4 hours a day and im constantly in pain now but like... i got an underweight bmi because of it. im just so excited and i have no one to tell. its been a terrible/fucking great day. woooo 👍🏻
[Other] Part of a complete breakfast
/u/StarliteSoul
Created: Wed Jul 12 13:28:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwar1/part_of_a_complete_breakfast/
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http://i.imgur.com/RPEHrCP.jpg
[Help] should i get a food scale???????????
/u/c-elizabeth-l
Created: Wed Jul 12 13:27:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mwaks/should_i_get_a_food_scale/
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trying to figure out if investing in a food scale is worth it. does anyone else have one? do you like it? i'm just worried about trying to explain to friends why i am weighing my food like a freak :(
[Humor] To anyone who ever feels ridiculous about their "rules" .... same.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Wed Jul 12 13:14:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mw7aa/to_anyone_who_ever_feels_ridiculous_about_their/
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This is a totally unnecessary post but someone out there will laugh.
I made a rule that every time I eat, I have to full on sit down at the table with silverware and slowly and carefully eat my planned food to avoid a binge.
Here I sit at the kitchen table. I just finished my 355 calorie breaklunch of a turkey guacamole omelette, and a Diet Coke. I also have a bottle of water. This water for some reason in my head now counts as my meal. I've taken 2 sips so far. I have to pee SO bad but I'm not getting up until this water is chugged. Why am I like this.
[Discussion] [Discussion] what are the foods you always buy but never eat?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 13:09:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mw61c/discussion_what_are_the_foods_you_always_buy_but/
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I have two. I always think I'll start eating quinoa but I never do, so I have boxes of it that I don't eat. My other one is frozen burritos. I know they're low calorie enough for them to be okay but for some reason they still scare me. What are yours?
[Help] How to get a scrip for meds?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 13:02:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mw4ks/how_to_get_a_scrip_for_meds/
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[removed]
[Other] The collection of drinks I have hoarded in my closet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:51:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mw1wx/the_collection_of_drinks_i_have_hoarded_in_my/
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http://i.imgur.com/vXmQbF1.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I need to look at the positives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:47:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mw0pv/i_need_to_look_at_the_positives/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Give me reasons not to binge!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:37:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvyda/give_me_reasons_not_to_binge/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Delicious drink :3
/u/Fornicorn
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:27:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvvvy/delicious_drink_3/
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So I've been stuck in a purging cycle for a couple of weeks now, averaging to twice a day and 10,000 calories total, like the idiot I am I flush. This is bad and should be avoided so I am avoiding solids and just drinking my calories as the act of chewing has been triggering binges. I am not the type of person to ever experience thirst unless I have just ran a mile so I have been getting creative to make them "mealy", I thought you guys might like some of my favorite new discoveries :)
- monster peach tea rehab w/ almond milk (currently drinking this holy shit so good, just like peaches and cream)
- lime La Croix w/ frozen blueberries mashed in (too much carbonation upsets my stomach, this helps kill the bubbles a bit
- almond milk with instant coffee powder (much creamier than regular coffee, also its summer so I'm a bit turned off to hot drinks)
- spicy v8 w/ almond milk (needs to be mixed often but a good savory substitute)
These are all that are coming to mind at the moment but if anyone else has some they enjoy (even if it's not a mix but just any brand of juice/milk/etc..) I would love some suggestions!
[Discussion] To prevent myself from bingeing, instead of spending that money I'm going to put it into my savings account. Also any other tips? I'm tired of flip flopping.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:26:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvvil/to_prevent_myself_from_bingeing_instead_of/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Took medication, binged, and now can't purge. Very upset
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:23:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvunv/took_medication_binged_and_now_cant_purge_very/
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I had a medication I had to take with food so I decided it would be ok to eat a piece of chicken. 8 hot wings and 3 slices of pizza later here I am. I know for many that is not a big binge but when my binges are once or twice a week it adds up. I'm going to be fat forever.
I can't decide if I want to purge and just say fuck it. Put the pizza in the counter and it was over 2500 calories.
I'm a giant fuck up.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling discouraged today
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:22:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvuge/feeling_discouraged_today/
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I've been on a 10 pounds in 30 days kick this month, and so far it's been okay- I should be down 5.5 pounds in 16 days. The problem is that I don't weigh so I have no idea what my SW was (I think anywhere between 110 and 105) and so I have no idea what I am now (I think 102 or so). I've been eating low-restriction (500-700 on average) and then burning it all off in the gym every day, but I worry that I'm not *actually* burning anything in the gym and so I'm still going to gain and gain and gain.... my measurements are also slightly higher today than they were two days ago so I'm freaking out about that too even though I know it's probably just bloating. I wanted to do a full-on fast today but I have an important meeting, so I'm just trying to 0 out on the exercise vs intake thing.
Hopefully I'll be able to do a day of fasted exercise tomorrow and jump start progress. I'm also worried because my boyfriend and I are having a guest this week, so I know that the boyfriend will want to go out to eat at the delicious places around the city all week long. I feel like a fraud for doing low restriction lately because I've been eating unsafe foods, I can't see any progress on myself even though I know the numbers are moving, and I'm worried that I'll get on the scale after this 30 day period and it will still say 107, like it always used to no matter what I did. I'm scared my gigantic thigh muscles will never go away and that my butt will always be jiggly even if I do hit my goal. I'm scared they'll always splay out when I sit. Even at whatever my current weight is, people aren't worried for me or nervous about how small I am. I don't look any smaller to them than I do to me. And it's funny, because I've been at this weight before and I used to think it was *so smol*, but now it just looks the same to me as every other weight did.
I just want to hit the UGW so I can finally win and work towards recovering. I know that that's not really how it works and that getting to a goal never makes people happier, but in my head if I get to 95 pounds I can be one of those tiny girls who eats burgers and cakes and doesn't worry about things. In my head, that's when I'll be able to start enjoying things again.
[Other] Tons of scales are on sale on Amazon right now if you need a new one!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:15:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvsu4/tons_of_scales_are_on_sale_on_amazon_right_now_if/
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TONS! I can't believe it didn't occur to me to check sooner, it is Primeday or something after all :D
[Other] Todays fun ED behavior: Going on Postmates and longingly adding things to my cart but buying nothing
/u/DeadandPrettyUs
Created: Wed Jul 12 12:10:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvrng/todays_fun_ed_behavior_going_on_postmates_and/
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I have money now so this is a dangerous game.
[Tip] I see your haul and I raise you one!
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Wed Jul 12 11:45:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvldq/i_see_your_haul_and_i_raise_you_one/
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https://i.redd.it/50bm9qob879z.jpg
[Thinspo] Violette Serrat
/u/allquiets [5'1.5 | 146 | 28.23 | -4 | 85 | NB]
Created: Wed Jul 12 11:08:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvccz/violette_serrat/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYr6XkuhQZU
[Rant/Rave] Pear shaped
/u/skittle_titty
Created: Wed Jul 12 11:07:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvbxt/pear_shaped/
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I have two different body images, divided by upper and lower body. This is because I carry the majority of my weight in my lower body. So, while I lose weight my upper body looks quite nice and thin, while the lower body is still chunky. I feel like Ill never wear a small pants size, and at the moment I am having to take all of my tight pants in at the waist where they are ridiculously loose.
People usually use pear-shaped to refer to curvy or overweight women, but it was an issue for me even when I was nearing underweight (skeletal upper body with normal looking legs anyone?).
Anybody else have an unbalanced body like this or feel differently about different body parts?
Ill just cover my legs with maxi skirts forever and nobody will be the wiser.
[Other] New job got me messed up with calories lmao
/u/Thatza_Latza_Matza [5'3" | CW 120 | BMI: 21.4 | -20]
Created: Wed Jul 12 11:04:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mvbcw/new_job_got_me_messed_up_with_calories_lmao/
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So I got this awesome new job like two months ago, I'm a barista at a very popular coffee chain, and oh god the calories. Free drinks during my shift, and after as well. So. Much. Calories. I can't stop. Who let me get ahold of the half and half, please lord someone stop me.
So I lurked around here looking for low-cal Starbucks drinks and I wanted to thank you guys for being so thorough bc I'm trying one later when I work. I love you all so much ❤
[Rant/Rave] my birthday is tomorrow
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Wed Jul 12 10:57:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mv9jm/my_birthday_is_tomorrow/
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and i want to die :))))
i'll be 28 but i still feel like a child. i'm married with children of my own but i still act so childishly. i feel like i should be over this sickness but i'm not. why am i still doing this to myself? why don't i have my shit together?
stop asking me what kind of cake i want. stop asking me where i want to go for dinner. stop it. just let me sleep.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling embarrassed
/u/midnight-artemis
Created: Wed Jul 12 10:38:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mv4wt/feeling_embarrassed/
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I went grocery shopping even though I felt kinda shitty but once I got there I started feeling nauseous. I continued on with my shopping until I felt it , I knew I was going I was going to throw up . I went to the bathroom and unfortunately there was someone there it turns out it was a store employee. She waited for me to finish and asked if I was okay/ if I needed anything. I felt so embarrassed that I went home without my groceries.
[Thinspo] keeping myself busy today by drawing some thinspo
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Wed Jul 12 10:28:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mv2hg/keeping_myself_busy_today_by_drawing_some_thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/F1hMrxf.jpg
[Help] I guess I've been over doing it with restriction & exercise?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F | 119 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 12 10:25:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mv1mc/i_guess_ive_been_over_doing_it_with_restriction/
---
Lately I have been restricting pretty heavily (300-400cals a day), and also exercising pretty intensely, well for me at least. This morning I woke up and almost passed out after getting out of bed. My brain and body were moving super slowly so I opted to go ahead and have breakfast (and not my usual small bowl of fruit when I get to work) because idk, I felt like my heart rate was really slow.
I had 2 cinnamon swirl loafs (holy fuck it's like breaking bread with the gods), one piece of toast w/ a fried egg, and a small glass of milk. This amounts to roughly 612cals, more than I've had in the last two days combined. I laid back in bed really considering calling off of work because my heart rate was just all over the place.
Well I'm at work now, and I feel totally fine. Even ready to get off of work and get back on my exercise regime w/ possibly no more or very little cals for the rest of the day.
Am I being a little dangerous or is my body just adjusting to my sudden change in lifestyle?
[Humor] You're giving me nightmares
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Jul 12 10:02:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6muw9s/youre_giving_me_nightmares/
---
https://i.redd.it/ksavwntzp69z.jpg
[Help] How Do I Get My Mother To Understand
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 09:40:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6muquf/how_do_i_get_my_mother_to_understand/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] What is your opinion on vitamins/supplements?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Wed Jul 12 09:34:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mupbt/what_is_your_opinion_on_vitaminssupplements/
---
What do you take? And what do you think has actually worked for you?
I take fish oil, vitamin D, and a B complex vitamin and I feel like they work in improving my mood.
I've taken hair, skin and nails vitamins but I can't say I've noticed significant results with them.
[Other] I lack self control so I'm fasting, and making these...
/u/daeboo [5ft2/87.2lbs🌑]
Created: Wed Jul 12 09:27:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6munm6/i_lack_self_control_so_im_fasting_and_making_these/
---
http://imgur.com/a/4c6QD
[Help] How to think clearly while fasting during school?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 09:26:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mundo/how_to_think_clearly_while_fasting_during_school/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Thanks, cheap store of Estonia - all these 100-190 calorie stuff for 7 euros!
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Wed Jul 12 09:20:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mum24/thanks_cheap_store_of_estonia_all_these_100190/
---
https://i.redd.it/96hfkkaii69z.jpg
[Tip] Just a reminder to take care of yourself today. ♡
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Wed Jul 12 09:09:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6muja1/just_a_reminder_to_take_care_of_yourself_today/
---
If you haven't yet...
Brush your teeth, and brush your hair.
Take your vitamins and drink a glass of water. Shower if it's been a while, and put on some cute comfy clothes and nice socks. Wash your face and use moisturizer. Listen to a song that makes you feel happy. Do some stretching and meditation on your bedroom floor. Text someone you care about and tell them you love them.
Take 10 minutes out of your day and take care of yourself.
[Discussion] Opinions about prescribed diet pills?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 08:52:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mufaw/opinions_about_prescribed_diet_pills/
---
I made a post earlier about being prescribed wellbutrin + naltrexone, which is basically a cheap version of Contrave.
I was reading reviews and my doctor read scientific journals about them and most people were able to lose at least 0.5 a week naturally due to its synergistic affect.
I've been reading a lot of reviews, and some mention losing 10lbs in a week with diet and exercise. Others losing a 1lb a week, which is better than nothing. Some discussed that they were able to concentrate on other things than food which led to weight loss overall.
Has anyone tried something similar?
[Rant/Rave] I haven't lost any weight for 6 months.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 08:51:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6muf1t/i_havent_lost_any_weight_for_6_months/
---
I have been within the same five pounds for the entirety of 2017, and I'm kind of fed up. I've been trying to lose, too. But, because I don't live alone anymore, restricting consistently is nearly impossible. I live with four other people (my family), so I can never predict what kind of food will be in my environment each day. It's maddening. I don't know what to do.
Maybe I'll just fast until I can't stand it, eat out of desperation, then repeat that forever. I don't fucking know.
[Help] SOS - intake later today and I'm in inpatient weight territory
/u/adrienneirda [In recovery - feeling too fat to say]
Created: Wed Jul 12 08:26:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mu9gy/sos_intake_later_today_and_im_in_inpatient_weight/
---
Hi all,
So I decided to seek out intensive outpatient treatment because honestly I'm tired of Ana running my life. I talked to a facility yesterday and they let me know that 111 pounds (which is what I THOUGHT I weighed) is one pound below what they usually accept for outpatient at my height. But they also said it shouldn't be a problem because I'm so close to the line.
But I just got home from seeing my parents in another state and when I weighed in I'm at 109. I don't think they're going to give me grace for three pounds. My intake assessment is at 5 EST and I really don't want to do inpatient. My life can't afford it right now. What can I do to make it seem like I weigh 112 pounds to pass intake for outpatient and not get slammed into inpatient?
Please don't tell me I should do inpatient if I'm this bad. I need to be grounded to my life while undergoing treatment.
[Help] Routine binge upcoming - need help breaking it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 08:22:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mu8ef/routine_binge_upcoming_need_help_breaking_it/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Cute new notebook
/u/smoothcoat
Created: Wed Jul 12 07:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mu0a6/cute_new_notebook/
---
https://i.redd.it/xqqayhw9169z.jpg
[Help] I want to try to recover but I'm scared my fiancé won't be attracted to me anymore
/u/smileyslimey [5'5 | 98 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 07:05:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mtsml/i_want_to_try_to_recover_but_im_scared_my_fiancé/
---
So my fiancé has a really strong (and imo unhealthy) preference for thin girls. Not normal thin, but seriously underweight. A couple of days ago we were looking through old photos and he commented how good I looked then. That was at my LW of 90 pounds. People were *seriously* getting worried about me back then and looking back, I look sick, awful hair and skin and always tired looking with huge bags under my eyes.
My "natural" weight is 110 pounds. That's the weight I've been at most of my adult life without any effort and he has seen me at that weight too, in fact I was like 107 a couple months ago. Now that I've lost weight again, he has been more affectionate and complimenting more often. He knows I struggle with eating and tries really hard to not say any triggering things and to not comment on my body, but I can see how much he likes it when I'm this thin (or even thinner).
Our relationship is so good otherwise, he is a very caring guy and he would do - and does - anything for me.
Now I have been having thoughts about recovery lately and it seems very inviting right now. The thing is that the ED is definitely taking a toll on our relationship (and my *life* ahahah *sobs*), but I'm so scared that recovery will impact our relationship too. I know he loves me for more than my body, but how am I supposed to not be triggered all the time knowing that he is not as attracted to me anymore? Being attractive to him has always been a huge motivator in my ED although he makes sure to tell me that he always thinks I'm beautiful.
And somehow this all sounds so ridiculous to me right now lol. Most people considered me good-looking at 120 too and I KNOW I look conventionally appealing at 110 (or maybe above after recovery) to almost every guy but NOT HIM. Sometimes I think "Many other guys would be so happy with the way I look when not starving, why can't you?". But I'm crazy in love with him after all.
I really don't know what to do now :( I was thinking about telling my therapist and asking her what she thinks... and maybe then my fiancé will realize that this is an illness and more than just about looks. But I'm so scared guys, recovery is so fucking hard and I don't know if I can push through that :(
[Rant/Rave] I feel guilty for feeling good about my body.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Wed Jul 12 06:38:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mtndp/i_feel_guilty_for_feeling_good_about_my_body/
---
I finally like my body. But this isn't my goal. I'm still 10lbs from my goal and I want to restrict and force myself to get there but I keep getting compliments and feeling good about myself and I'm trying to find that insecurity that drove me and I can't find it anymore.
I feel pathetic for the first time in my life I'm not disgustingly insecure and yet here I am wanting it back
[Other] Thought I'd also share my BUJO food log. I also log my food in MFP but I like to have a hardcopy as well :)
/u/fluobun [185cm|88.6kg|25.89|HW:95kg|F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 06:31:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mtm71/thought_id_also_share_my_bujo_food_log_i_also_log/
---
https://i.redd.it/aru8s76co59z.jpg
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 12 06:12:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mtinm/daily_food_diary_july_12_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 12, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday July 12, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 12 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mtifl/way_to_go_wednesday_july_12_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for July 12, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
I think I am relapsing after 7 years of being "recovered" and I feel fine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 04:48:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mt58f/i_think_i_am_relapsing_after_7_years_of_being/
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[deleted]
[Other] Got bored at work and made myself a personalized paper tracker for exercise and calories
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Wed Jul 12 04:12:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mt0fo/got_bored_at_work_and_made_myself_a_personalized/
---
http://imgur.com/a/EStFj
[Tip] Found a low calorie pasta option and I am living for it, so I thought I'd share!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 12 03:59:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6msylv/found_a_low_calorie_pasta_option_and_i_am_living/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] No middle ground
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 02:32:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6msn8r/no_middle_ground/
---
It's 6:30pm.... I haven't eaten anything yet today. Currently debating whether I should stick it out and end with 0 calories for the day, or if I should order a large pizza, wings, and dessert and eat it all by myself until I get sick. I could just eat a healthy dinner like a normal person and not go to bed hating myself, but there's no chance of that happening. Why am I like this
[Rant/Rave] BACK IN THE 19S BABY!!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 02:31:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6msn7s/back_in_the_19s_baby/
---
Plus I can skip dinner tonight and maybe tomorrw. Hopefully I'll be in the 58's by the end of this week.
[Rant/Rave] Thank you, dream binge!
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 00:42:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ms8jg/thank_you_dream_binge/
---
So I had a dream last night that I ate SO many carbs (and everything I ate would have totalled to 2000kcal), I wake up this morning and feel awful and defeated and upset... And then I remember it was a dream.
All of the feelings of a binge, none of the calories!
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes it's amazing how temptation will force itself on you no matter what.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 00:24:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ms5zm/sometimes_its_amazing_how_temptation_will_force/
---
After living abroad for a year, I came back home for the summer. This is good. Despite being with my family for a few months and having possible meal pressure, I have all my safe foods again. I'm in my ED comfort zone.
I made a conscious decision to eat healthier again now that I have y food options. My first thing was cutting back down on sugar.
I come home and my mother impulse bought [a 6 unit candy dispenser for our living room](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51f-CJYaAeL.jpg) (we have kind of an odd house, so it works surprisingly well).
Yeah, I know no one is forcing me to eat anything. But seriously. My favorite sweets that I haven't had for months are right in front of me. Damn it.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so stupid :)
/u/kanthinkofone [5'2 | CW: 130lbs | BMI: 23.8 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 12 00:05:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ms33k/im_so_stupid/
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I am so fucking stupid.
My dumbass decided to go on a binge. Great! Except I decided to purge after. And my dumb fucking ass decided I couldn't wait to get to the toilet. So I did part of it in the sink. Which fucking clogged. I started freaking out, how the fuck would I be able to explain this to someone who could fix it?? I just had to fix it myself. Part of the pipes have screw thingies, so I thought it would be easy. No.
Another part of the pipes was glued on... it broke... what the fuck do I do?
(Sorry for any typos/whatever, it's 1 am here)
[Discussion] DAE constantly feel like/is terrified that their scale is lying to them
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 23:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ms2cj/dae_constantly_feel_likeis_terrified_that_their/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Camera adds 10 lbs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 23:38:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mrz68/camera_adds_10_lbs/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Purged again, whoops.
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 22:54:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mrs9r/purged_again_whoops/
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I just went to 7-11 to get a snack and ended up picking up some 390cal Asian shrimp chips. I wasn't intending to purge but I felt so guilty after eating them.
I had to quit partway through because my boss came into the break room and would be able to hear me. I want to go into one of the more private bathrooms to finish but I don't have time. God this is pathetic.
[Thinspo] Crazy Amber from ANTM is such thinspo to me
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Tue Jul 11 21:48:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mrgwx/crazy_amber_from_antm_is_such_thinspo_to_me/
---
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3A4lNohZL_o
[Rant/Rave] NSV: stats today... burned a shit ton of cals, walked a shit ton of steps, and ONLY ATE 481 CALS (all of which were fruit 😋) kinda proud of myself
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Tue Jul 11 20:55:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mr7g2/nsv_stats_today_burned_a_shit_ton_of_cals_walked/
---
https://i.redd.it/2czwbx6it29z.jpg
[Help] Has anyone been on Naltrexone and Wellbutrin? (w/ Freshman-Fifteen horror story)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 20:55:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mr7et/has_anyone_been_on_naltrexone_and_wellbutrin_w/
---
I'm writing this on a throwaway because I'm pretty ashamed about this.
I've had a weird relationship with food for most of my life, and spent most of my life as a Ana. I rarely ate and I thought I was really fat and big (despite me being underweight / normal for most of my life). Then most of high school where I learned to love myself I became obsessed with eating; I loved the social aspect and I was a border line binge eater.
I just started my first year in college where food was bountiful. That's when I gained not 15lbs.... but 70lbs. Within one year. I wish I was joking. I am fairly tall at 5'10, so at one point I was thinking it was muscle from walking up a bunch of stairs around campus.
From my shitty roommates to bad boyfriends to school in general to going out all night and sleeping in, I'm at a weight where I can't even exercise because my thighs chafe too much.
I was on Prozac for about 5 years to encourage me to eat and have less anxiety around food. I told my doctor today that I've been binge eating to a point where I spent $30 a day on food and was gaining weight rapidly.
She prescribed me naltrexone and wellbutrin (which is basically Contrave, the weight loss pill, but I can take naltrexone only when I feel like I'm going to binge).
How's people's experience with this? I told her I was EC stacking which she actually knew a lot about. She told me that she would be willing to put me on this because one of her friends has a pace maker at 34y/o after abusing EC stacking and she doesn't want that to happen to me.
[Rant/Rave] Every time I look at my weight, I'm disgusted
/u/saede_art [173cm | CW 60 | BMI 19.81 |]
Created: Tue Jul 11 20:32:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mr33j/every_time_i_look_at_my_weight_im_disgusted/
---
I feel like it's so high, how can I be this big? I always used to be under the 60kg bar and for the past few months, I've been stuck over it, no matter what I try. I look at the number and I just think it's not me, it's someone else... I can't wait to get over this stupid phase...
[Other] |Humor/Other| Lol, this is just sad
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Tue Jul 11 20:17:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mr09o/humorother_lol_this_is_just_sad/
---
http://imgur.com/UYHVt6x
[Rant/Rave] I am struggling.
/u/purpleorangeblu
Created: Tue Jul 11 20:13:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqzne/i_am_struggling/
---
I want to recover, but I'm a fat piece of shit. I won't get into any recovery centre because of my normal weight, but I KNOW I can't recover unless I have intense care because I also have other mental illnesses that exacerbate my ED. (BPD/dissociation holla!) But lately, everything is out of control. My chest physically aches because I've been purging so much. It's getting to the point where I can't even purge all the food I eat, it's just spit and coughing. Or I'll fast for a day to try and lose the weight. But I'm gaining and I'm freaking out. I'm losing control and I don't know what to do. I need recovery, but I don't have the time or the resources, but this is killing me.
I'm sorry, I really needed to spill this out because I have no other outlet. Thank you for listening.
[Discussion] Broken bone experiences?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3 | 86]
Created: Tue Jul 11 20:11:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqz9j/broken_bone_experiences/
---
So I broke my collarbone (of course it would be the collarbone, haha) in two places and I'm really regretting not opting for surgery - I'm three weeks of constant pain and inconvenience in and it still shows no signs of new bone growth. My surgeon (I chose him over the two who recommended just having plates + screws put in and moving on) is starting to press me about nutrition and activity bc even for a break this bad it seems odd, which...lololol.
Has anyone here recovered from a broken bone or other injury while deep in ED-land and managed not to lose their mind? Here's what ED brain is telling me: you're so much less active than before, you need to eat even less. Forget about eating calcium- and vitamin D-containing foods and forget supplements too because you can't find them in calorie-free formats. Also, you're pretty vain for such a gross meat sack, who cares that the plates would have been visible, you should punish yourself by doing everything you were doing before even though it takes twice as long and sleeping even less...and occasionally do something you know will hurt and suspect will delay healing (true wtf on this last one).
This is a hard place to be. I would love to hear any anecdotes and/or advice you have for prioritizing recovery (from this) without totally losing my mind; rationally I know I will get better faster if i do the right things but I just can't bring myself to do it.
[Discussion] I bought a exercise bike...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 19:46:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mquhm/i_bought_a_exercise_bike/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE feel super depressed and guilty when eating at a higher than usual deficit?
/u/redbullandregrets
Created: Tue Jul 11 19:41:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqti8/dae_feel_super_depressed_and_guilty_when_eating/
---
Literally have had 4 1200 calorie days in a row and I feel like the biggest failure. Idk why I'm feeling this way when I know that I'm still at a deficit, but being full makes me feel disgusting
[Rant/Rave] Well I messed up
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Tue Jul 11 19:34:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqs85/well_i_messed_up/
---
I'm going to the beach tomorrow with a fwb and I had planned to do a 24 hour fast... it was going great actually.
Now I'm watching x-files while binging on all the food possible. Guess I'm committing to being a whale tomorrow.
Anyway how was everyone else's day?
[Discussion] DAE have a family member that always hogs the kitchen?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 19:28:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqr1a/dae_have_a_family_member_that_always_hogs_the/
---
[deleted]
[Help] I don't know if this is allowed, but I'm wondering if there's ED folk in my college
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Tue Jul 11 19:09:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqnls/i_dont_know_if_this_is_allowed_but_im_wondering/
---
[removed]
[Other] Totally not ED related but I wanted to share some of my songs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 19:08:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqna4/totally_not_ed_related_but_i_wanted_to_share_some/
---
https://soundcloud.com/exoticflower
[Rant/Rave] i burned all the calories i ate all day in one workout :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 19:04:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mqmnp/i_burned_all_the_calories_i_ate_all_day_in_one/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Y73ltcG.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Tue Jul 11 18:56:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mql08/daily_thinspo/
---
https://i.redd.it/pm3mmox8829z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Sobriety has turned me into even more of a fat POS, dammit.
/u/RandomHumanite [5'1" | 26F (???)]
Created: Tue Jul 11 18:00:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mq9y1/sobriety_has_turned_me_into_even_more_of_a_fat/
---
All of the content warnings, btw.
I've barely lost any weight in the 37 days I've been sober. Pretty sure I only fit into clothes slightly better because I'm less bloated. Nobody gives a fuck about sobriety because I'm not thin because of it. I mean, my life is better, but I'm not smart or pretty or amazing or achieving big things.
There are just moments where I *feel* thin because my standards are so fucking disgustingly low for myself. I mean, they're already disgustingly low for myself in life; why not also be disgustingly low in how I view my body as well. I mean, I'm overweight and I stuff my fat sausage self into size 6-8s (which is unacceptable for my height) every day. I'm not attractive at allllll.
My purges are becoming more and more spit and bile and less and less food. So it just alllll sits in me. And I'm probably about to go binge on more food because that's how disgusting I am and the urges have already kicked in and I dont have the common sense to spit it all out.
See, Ive been alcohol free for a month. I've been a binge monster for that month and i can only successfully purge 25% of the time. So 75% of the time, it just sits in me. All those calories that I dont need just sit in me.
Why couldn't I be a vodka drinker instead of a beer drinker. Then I could be drunk, not eating for days at a time, but **not** inhaling all of my calories through EXTREMELY calorie-dense beer. Like, if I could inhale only 700-800 calories a day worth of vodka and nothing else I'd be so beautiful right now. Or why couldn't I be hooked on meth or heroin or some other drug that doesn't have calories in it.
Sighhhhhh, at least 60 pounds to go. I hate my life.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Because I am going to loose control at my parents house.
/u/caLAfrownia [172CM | 125 | 19.9 | 5lb | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 11 18:00:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mq9ut/rant_because_i_am_going_to_loose_control_at_my/
---
First and foremost I was on a 4 days fast until tomorrow and my reward was going to be an apple and some jam. I was doing so well until I got a call to come in for a big girl interview tomorrow. Problem is .. its near my parents house and I need a car... So I decided to stay over night at my rents place. Overtime I stay here I BINGE ... its already been an hour and I already had 2 chocolate covered pretzels and I'm now cooking a full dinner .... like holy crap this is going to start me all over again ... and I can't seem to stop myself. Like I REALLY want this job and I seem to never follow through on my GWs but I need this and I just can't loose control.
*PM if rules are violated
[Humor] Today's calories brought to you by....
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 157 | 26.4 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Tue Jul 11 17:26:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mq3bl/todays_calories_brought_to_you_by/
---
Vodka!
And lite beer as a chaser.
Sunflower seeds and cantaloupe are honorably mentioned, with a special thanks to seltzer and sugar free gum.
😅
[Other] Grocery haul, 5 day fast edition
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 17:20:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mq1xn/grocery_haul_5_day_fast_edition/
---
https://i.redd.it/ordqb2v6r19z.jpg
[Help] Want to off self always want to binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 17:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mq1k0/want_to_off_self_always_want_to_binge/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Gonna break my 48 hour fast with a 175cal salad and I feel guilty. 😐
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Tue Jul 11 17:17:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mq1dd/gonna_break_my_48_hour_fast_with_a_175cal_salad/
---
https://i.redd.it/xk5z0j0qq19z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Epitome of Nothing
/u/dankdesty [5'10|CW 117|GW 110|UGW 105|F| -3lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 11 16:42:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mpttz/epitome_of_nothing/
---
I saw a quote today that said
"I asked her if she believed in love, she smiled and said it was her most elaborate method of self harm"
& it reminded me of I constantly tell myself I am nothing.. this way its not that big a shock when I feel it.. Idk sorry.
[Rant/Rave] my medicine caused all this shit
/u/binchygay [5'1" | 93lbs | barely underweight | -abt 20lbs | 13 tm]
Created: Tue Jul 11 16:08:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mpmlx/my_medicine_caused_all_this_shit/
---
i was **ten** when i started taking prozac and it made me gain abt 14 pounds or around there idk anymore + made me eat more
pls excuse my excessive cursing
what rlly set me off was when we were driving home from an appointment with my past psychiatrist and my nan commented on my weight gain and asked me if i could get on the treadmill (my dad snapped at her after that)
for the longest time i had a superfast metabolism unlike everyone else in the fam and now its as slow as my mothers (im srry mama)
in the past i even wished i would gain a little weight bc i was so skinny
but i just remember in the car i started crying and i knew that i wouldnt be the same
throughout middleschool it was just moderate and didnt bother me much but now its full on ED Symptoms
and its just gr8 bc it goes hand in hand w a terrible fear of eating that started bc of a stomach bug a few months ago (i dont give a damn if i vomit its the other thing i have a meltdown over lol)
but im a fucking pig anyway and i eat all i want and im 2 lazy 2 purge and i wish i would stop eating altogether bc eating makes me feel sick most of the time anyway
this mess made my literal unhealthy addiction 2 walking more intense than ever too so now that is whats helping me burn off fat faster than my body can make it
srry 4 doing the whole ranting life story thing i bet i made this confusing
i just wish this never happened all because of stupid fucking prozac the bitch made me hallucinate too
has anyone else ever had a reaction 2 meds that contributed 2 ED thoughts starting up
[Rant/Rave] My day went downhill fast
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Tue Jul 11 16:07:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mpmd9/my_day_went_downhill_fast/
---
We're trying to buy a house. Our credit score has been wonky Soo we're trying to fix it (aka I'm trying to fix it). Finally got it up high enough and then my loan officer texted me this morning that it had "tanked" and now isn't responding to me. I'm frantically checking everything online and nothing that I can see had changed so I don't know what the fuck.
So I texted my husband to pick up my favorite binge food, promptly ate an unimaginable amount of calories, tried to purge, only got like a teaspoon back up, and now I'm just going to cry and cry and lay in bed like the fat disgusting monster I am.
[Discussion] Only 100 calories, has anyone tried this?
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 15:46:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mphg4/only_100_calories_has_anyone_tried_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/e3vq4ggda19z.jpg
[Discussion] Can we get a NSV (Non Scale Victory) thread going?
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Tue Jul 11 14:35:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mp0ua/can_we_get_a_nsv_non_scale_victory_thread_going/
---
What's happened that's made you happy lately aside from the number on the scale? Let us know here!
[Help] Cognition and EDs...really struggling at work
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Tue Jul 11 14:30:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mozoh/cognition_and_edsreally_struggling_at_work/
---
How is everyone here...how is it focusing on tasks? Getting things done? Functioning on a day to day basis?
I'm asking because my supervisor just told me that a colleague who has been trying to get a hold of me...called her. I have been avoiding this person because my cognition and attention is shit and I haven't gotten around to do this thing I promised to work on. Fuck. Work is going to shambles. I can't get myself to care about anything at work. I can't get myself to think. I am only motivated to finish purging or to check my weight in the morning.
But. But I'm not even that fucking THIN. I'm not sick. My weight isn't that low. I'm just lazy. I can work HARDER. I can DO FUCKING BOTH. I should be able to have a BMI in the 16s and just function fucking fine fine fine. Anything else is admitting weakness. I'm not thin yet, I'm not done losing weight and my weight loss is not affecting my cognition...
I am probably going to be fired. I have literally done nothing in the past few weeks other than show up at work.
The solution? Lose more fucking weight. It's all I know how to do. It's all I can do.
[Goal] Wish Bracelet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 14:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mowee/wish_bracelet/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Has anyone found that their ED kinda comes in waves?
/u/fuckthislol [173cm|skinny|low 15's BMI|F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 14:10:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mound/has_anyone_found_that_their_ed_kinda_comes_in/
---
Because atm I'm just seeming to not care all that much. Like I'm still kinda freaking out a liittle about not getting enough steps in, and eating too much, but then there's also a part of me that doesn't care enough, so I'll eat shit that tips me over my cal limit anyway, or be eating way higher than normal cal items, when I didn't even NEED to, I was just like eh whatevs fuck it. And maybe it's partly because a smidge of me is fed up of being so fucking thin, but then the other huge part of me is like noooo can't get fat.
So I think I'm asking like, does anyone have waves of time where they just don't care so much? Does the full on ED brain come back round? Soonish or only after gaining?
I mean don't get me wrong, the whole ED thing is awful, I'm just stressing that this will only end and I'll snap back to eating less after I've gained weight, and gotten fat. Which cannot happen. So why all of a sudden don't I care when I fancy eating something like cake or a snack bar or crisps or a sandwich or shit.
Fuckkkk.
[Discussion] Anyone else here a mom?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 13:46:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6moot0/anyone_else_here_a_mom/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Realized today that I don't want to let go of my ED because I have nothing that defines me
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Tue Jul 11 13:44:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mooce/realized_today_that_i_dont_want_to_let_go_of_my/
---
I was sitting here trying to decide what subreddit to go to because it's storming outside and I'm scared shitless of storms and I realized that I don't have anything that defines me really. People know me as a musical person who likes foreign languages and is kinda quirky (or so I've been told) but like, idk if that's really me.
I don't even know who I am anymore. :( All I know is I love animals and music l
[Discussion] I wish I would relapse
/u/TheMostExoticFlower [5'4 | -55lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 13:30:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mokst/i_wish_i_would_relapse/
---
I'm just sick of this middle ground. I'm eating "normally" but I'm mentally in agony. I just *can't* restrict. I haven't been able to do it for awhile. I just wish I would suddenly have the motivation to stop eating again. But I can't! I need my meals. Dammit. And it's not like I'm even binging either. If I wrote down everything I eat you wouldn't think I have an ED of any sort. I don't know what to think. Does anyone else have similar feelings? I feel ridiculous.
[Rant/Rave] Warning: Fraudulent nutrition labels exist!
/u/HausDeKittehs [5'1"| CW103lbs | BMI19.46 |Lost 10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 12:56:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mocpo/warning_fraudulent_nutrition_labels_exist/
---
So I was shopping at the grocery store searching desperately for things to fight off a feeling of an impending binge. I went to the frozen fish section and saw a box of mussels in white wine for 160 calories in the whole container. It had 880% of b12, 180% manganese, 30% iron and more. I grabbed two boxes. I cooked and ate one box and went to scan the barcode into MFP. It came up as 580 calories. Ok, so I'm panicking. That's what I wanted my whole day's intake to be. I went to their website, and the website confirmed 580 calories. I immediately sent an e-mail to the company. :(
I'll add a picture of the box once I can imgur to work on my phone.
[Goal] 10 more pounds to go!
/u/MissMagus
Created: Tue Jul 11 12:49:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6moax1/10_more_pounds_to_go/
---
I'M SO CLOSE. IF I LIKE, REALLY FOCUS, THIS IS SUCH AN EASILY OBTAINABLE GOAL.
I'm only 10 pounds away from being where I was before I sold my soul to liquor. I'm doing better now. I don't drink nearly as much, and I recently saw a video of myself someone else took and I looked....well...fine. Last time i got tagged in a candid photo, I looked swollen and hungover...and I spent weeks looking at this picture just to punish myself.
This time, I looked like myself. And I looked happy. And smaller. Much smaller haha.
In 10 pounds, I'll see that number, and I can forget the last 3 years even happened. Thanks to all you amazing fuckers for helping me keep my head afloat.
You guys rock.
[Discussion] how do you guys keep a social life and stay thin?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Tue Jul 11 12:38:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mo8fa/how_do_you_guys_keep_a_social_life_and_stay_thin/
---
I feel like the times I've successfully restricted I just didn't have a social life. I could fast for days or only have 300 calories and nobody would notice because I lived alone.
The past year I've lived with roommates and have had a good social life so I have had to purge. But I've been more concerned about my health so I've stopped purging. But I find it so much harder to restrict now that I have a social life: going on dates, going to dinner parties, eating out at restaurants, living with roommates who are my friends..
I have more self-control when I'm by myself.
When I'm with others I feel pressure to eat from them directly "have a piece of cake" or indirectly (I worry that they'll notice I'm not eating). I wish I could somehow chew and spit in front of people. But it's hard to manage my eating disorder with my social life.
[Rant/Rave] The only way to lose weight is to work out!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 12:28:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mo5vt/the_only_way_to_lose_weight_is_to_work_out/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] For those in the UK, Aunt Bessie's carrot and swede mash is 180kcal for the whole bag
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 12:25:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mo564/for_those_in_the_uk_aunt_bessies_carrot_and_swede/
---
https://i.redd.it/ap717poka09z.jpg
[Discussion] DAE obsessively look the menu of food places near by never actually get anything?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 11:35:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mnsnp/dae_obsessively_look_the_menu_of_food_places_near/
---
Honestly, I check maps once a day, browse through all the freaking restaurants near me but I have to try any of them save for one with a friend.
[Discussion] How have you been treated differently since losing/gaining weight?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Tue Jul 11 11:19:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mnorp/how_have_you_been_treated_differently_since/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mnorp/how_have_you_been_treated_differently_since/
[Tip] so parsnips, carrots and beets are about 30 calories per 100g
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 11:07:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mnlx8/so_parsnips_carrots_and_beets_are_about_30/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] TUFU by making a pan of brownies for someone but eat the whole thing??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 11:06:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mnlkx/tufu_by_making_a_pan_of_brownies_for_someone_but/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] How often does the scale move for you?
/u/intothexwest [🌸 5"4 | CW: 128 | GW: 120]
Created: Tue Jul 11 10:47:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mngvm/how_often_does_the_scale_move_for_you/
---
[removed]
[Goal] I want to make a low calorie cook book!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 10:37:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mnefs/i_want_to_make_a_low_calorie_cook_book/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I am too scared to start tracking calories again
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 10:26:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mnbr1/i_am_too_scared_to_start_tracking_calories_again/
---
Buuuuuuuuuuuut I'm also panicking every day because *what if I miscounted?*
I feel like I am pulling a "Beautiful Mind" every time I try to eat something because my brain is convinced that actually tracking again will be somehow overwhelming and real proof that I'm doing badly again.
Ugh. I just want to get paid so I can get real groceries (read: my weird ED groceries and not any of my roommates'/boyfriend's normal food). Then I'll at least KNOW I know the numbers.
[Help] What does losing muscle feel like?
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Tue Jul 11 09:05:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mms07/what_does_losing_muscle_feel_like/
---
Do they cramp up all the time? Or is this another ED related issue, bc I'm getting tight muscles that stretching cannot fix and I'm wondering if it's muscle loss or dehydration or vitamin deficiency of some sort
Sorry for posting again so soon 😅
I just know if I don't do it now, I'll forget to ask this for another few days and be panicking internally and not remember why
What does it feel like when your body is losing muscle?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 09:03:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mmrlc/what_does_it_feel_like_when_your_body_is_losing/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE want to be underweight so that you can mindlessly eat/indulge for a few weeks and have a total break from calorie counting?
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 134| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 08:59:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mmqlr/dae_want_to_be_underweight_so_that_you_can/
---
I was watching a youtube video of this girl who became vegan and lost a ton of weight and is trying to gain weight to get back to a healthy bmi, and she mentioned that now she's been going out to eat a ton at restaurants and really living it up bc she needs/wants to gain weight anyway. And so my brain goes 'ah I should lose enough to be underweight so that then I can have a break from this obsessive calorie counting, and just indulge for a couple weeks until I'm back to a less-unhealthy bmi' ...like how when you tune a guitar down you intentionally unwind the string more than you need so that you can tighten it back to the note you really want. Does that make sense?
I don't miss being overweight but I really miss eating whatever whenever and being so ignorant about calories that I could enjoy it and not feel guilty or gross after. I miss indulging like 24/7 because the food just tasted so good!
[Humor] Monthly reminder
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Tue Jul 11 08:54:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mmpkj/monthly_reminder/
---
https://i.redd.it/tvz4676z8z8z.jpg
[Discussion] STORY TIME! Tell me about your "worst" irl thinspo, i.e. ones you feel guilty/shitty about
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Tue Jul 11 08:48:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mmo7o/story_time_tell_me_about_your_worst_irl_thinspo/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mmo7o/story_time_tell_me_about_your_worst_irl_thinspo/
[Rant/Rave] Beyond Livid at Myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 08:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mmhsu/beyond_livid_at_myself/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Can anyone help me brainstorm some "safe" foods from fast food/ convenience places?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 11 07:51:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mmc0q/can_anyone_help_me_brainstorm_some_safe_foods/
---
Hi. I have kind of a rule that I shouldn't eat bread, dairy, sugar, or deep fried foods. Is there anything that is good to eat in fast food or convenience stores that meets these requirements?
[Discussion] DAE think even some thinspo girls are too fat?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Tue Jul 11 07:13:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mm4ek/dae_think_even_some_thinspo_girls_are_too_fat/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] My hips dig into the floor again!!!!
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 07:05:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mm2qu/my_hips_dig_into_the_floor_again/
---
Oh Happy day!!!
:')
[Help] I'm not supposed to but...
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 06:11:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mlsrv/im_not_supposed_to_but/
---
I'm really not supposed to exercise but I feel huge and I need to do something to feel "okay" meeting my meal plan. It's frustrating as hell. I wish I could snap my fingers and be okay with my weight and not want to lose knowing I can't and I'm petrified I already gained.
Argh. Fuck this ED.
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 11 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mlsom/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_11_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 11, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 11 06:10:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mlsnq/daily_food_diary_july_11_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 11, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Tip] Low calorie high protein ice-cream in AUSTRALIA!
/u/heartemoji
Created: Tue Jul 11 03:46:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ml6uj/low_calorie_high_protein_icecream_in_australia/
---
http://i.imgur.com/MnebTOm.jpg
[Tip] A loooong list of tips on how to stop binging (I guess)
/u/silkangels
Created: Tue Jul 11 03:33:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ml54o/a_loooong_list_of_tips_on_how_to_stop_binging_i/
---
Hello my dudes, I decided to post my collection of tips/thoughts/quotes that I feel really helped when I was stuck in a teeerrrriblle binge cycle (we’re talking ~5000 kcal every day here) a few months ago. I still look at the list quite often to remind myself why I'm doing this and to make sure I don’t fall back into my old habits C: Here we goooo:
* **Fix your sleep routine.** I used to stay up late because I was so full I couldn’t find a comfortable position to fall asleep or I would just think about how much I hated myself. I don’t really recommend doing this, but I finally broke the cycle of falling asleep at 4am and waking up at 2pm by just not sleeping for the whole night, getting through the day (caffeine is the real mvp) and going to bed at 8pm the next day. Make yourself tired. Exercise, walk a lot, do the dishes, play with your dog, take a hot shower, read a few pages of a book before going to bed.
* **Read articles/books about nutrition.** I think this is what helped me the most. I used to binge on pastries and would go out to buy more food several times a day. This was fuelled by the „body positivity“ community (mostly on tumblr) and posts about how you „deserve to eat that cookie“, basically ‚treat yourself‘ kinda posts. Stop rewarding yourself with shitty food. Will the cookie do your body any good? Meh, probably not. So instead, unsub from those blogs and read about vitamins and micronutrients. Think about how much better you will feel (and you will) if you start eating a diet full of vegetables and healthy fats and protein. I also started caring more about my skincare routine which is basically "eat healthy food, drink water, get lots of sleep" and apparently being vain really helps with binging. :'D
* **Ravenous hunger sucks, but it only lasts for a while.** If you can wait it out, it will be over in a few minutes. Also, if you eat a late dinner, chances are you will wake up REALLY hungry – this is just your body slowly running out of carbs to burn and turning to other energy sources. You can read more about this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comments/pjcyd/what_is_happening_when_i_wake_up_starving_wait_an/ . I kind of stopped eating after 6pm (if I’m really craving something, I’ll have a pickle or something low carb).
* **Consider trying keto/intermittent fasting.** Keto or at least low carb works, because you’ll have basically zero cravings. Intermittent fasting works because you have something to look forward to(a dinner hehehehehhehe). Intermittent fasting + keto? Pure bliss. Of course you don’t have to do this – just my personal experience.
* **Science, bitch.** Eating sugary foods will cause your insulin levels to rise rapidly and make your blood sugar crash after a while. The symptoms include feeling „shaky“ or weak, ravenous hunger, or fatigue. This will pass after a while, because your body will release glucose from it’s glycogen stores that will even your blood sugar out. You can prevent this from happening by not eating too many carbs in one sitting, eating more complex carbs or, again, going low carb.
* **The „idc“ attitude.** Feeling hungry? I don’t care, I’ll have something later. Feeling shit about my body? Whatever, I’ll be at my GW in no time. Craving the chocolate cake in the kitchen? Meh, I’ll just have something healthier and let others get fat. Don’t make a big deal out of it. This is important. Just go on with your day and if you get any intrusive thoughts, just go: „yeah sure, whatever“. Laugh at your cravings. It’s an attitude thing, y’all!
* **Make sure all your other needs are satisfied before trying to solve your problems with food.** Are you feeling too cold/hot? Have you showered today? Changed your sheets? Go do that first. Write to-do lists with the simplest tasks (showering, exfoliating, doing the dishes) and check them off as you go.
* **If you're intermittent fasting and drinking lots of water, supplement salt.** A 1/6th of a teaspoon every few hours. Helps with feeling shaky.
* **If everything else fails – willpower.**
>Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You can't push yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
And this is my fav quote of all time.
Just know that the first few days will be tough since you're breaking a habit that's hardwired somewhere in your brain, but once you do, it will get really really easy. Don't make this a part of your identity. Think of it as "well I tried binging once and it sucked, but now I'm back and better than ever". You got this, amore.
[Goal] Ok guys, hold me accountable (fasting thread)
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Tue Jul 11 03:05:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ml1m2/ok_guys_hold_me_accountable_fasting_thread/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck does this disorder do this!?!
/u/lampshade59
Created: Tue Jul 11 02:37:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mky1f/why_the_fuck_does_this_disorder_do_this/
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Since April I've been fine eating up to 1200 calories. Between 0-1200 and I was fine. Suddenly seeing the numbers entered into MFP going anywhere near 600-700 is making me go "nope can't eat that" "no I can't have that" "great I can't even have that". Why? Why is this happening? Why can't I just eat up to 1200 like I used to? Fuck this life!
And what makes it even more annoying is I KNOW I will not gain even if I eat up to my maintenance calories of 1800. I **know** but my brain is like no... you **can't** eat anymore.
[Discussion] ED behaviors as a way to escape depression?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Tue Jul 11 02:15:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mkvcq/ed_behaviors_as_a_way_to_escape_depression/
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**TL;DR: I realised that I binge, over-exercise and starve because I get an endorphin fix from those things and struggle to feel anything at all otherwise**
After a couple of weeks of maintaining my weight and going to the gym, I slipped. I binged, I purged, I took a bunch of lax and now I'm set to live on protein shakes and diet soda until the weekend.
However, in the middle of this shitty experience I might have had a major revelation on why the hell am I doing all of that. I wasn't hungry or stressed or upset. I was just very numb and bored again and I wanted to feel something.
Thanks to my depression, nothing seems to be as entertaining as it used to be. Hell, nothing seems to be entertaining at all. I can't read books anymore, I can't watch movies or TV shows, I can't play videogames (and it used to be a major hobby for me), I can't do anything creative. Everything seems futile and stupid.
The only things that make me feel somewhat better are basically the things that physically force my body to release endorphins: exercise, food and starvation. And when for whatever reason one of those things doesn't work (e. g. ate a slice of pizza, still numb/sad) I just crave more and more. This is why I can't stop eating sometimes, this is why I practically live for the sake of going to the gym in the mornings and this is why I've spent weeks eating at 200-700 calories/day despite feeling like utter crap.
So, as usual, I wonder if anyone can relate to this.
[Rant/Rave] Just got some super big/long extensions put in for my wedding in a few months. The thing about long hair making you look thinner is soooooo true. Also I'm going to be the smallest person in my wedding party.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | -38]
Created: Tue Jul 11 01:38:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mkqgs/just_got_some_super_biglong_extensions_put_in_for/
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I am a fucking mermaid.
But yeah, I got several bundles of 24" hair put in. Took some getting used to, it's literally so heavy I am convinced it's throwing off my weight, lol.
I'm like 5'7 or 5'8 and I can fit into an 8 in jeans right now, slowly melting myself until I can get to my goal of a 2. I was MUCH larger before my disordered eating habits started so it's already weird being smaller than I was and knowing it, but still feeling HUUUUGE.
Anyway I got these extensions put in a week ago, and there's so much big wavy hair, I look like I dropped another ten pounds. I literally had people telling me "and you're losing weight still!" (Which is good, but, they don't know my brain so whatever!) even though I've only dropped like two pounds in two weeks. And was stuck in the worst plateau of my life before that.
Just gotta drop the last 50 pounds and I'll be happier. Hopefully I can lose another 15 before September starts.
I'll be the skinniest of my family and friends by far. Even if I only lose another 15 by then. I'll be smaller than my bitch sister who used to be a 00 before she got pregnant and then got lazy and now she's like 160 pounds. The sister who used to mock me for being "curvy" and always complained that I took too long shopping for back to school clothes. Yeah, well, bitch, get ready to be the fat sister. I love her crazy ass and I KNOW how petty it is, but I can't wait to be smaller than her. The smallest person in our wedding party for sure. And the best part is I've been so antisocial that nobody except close family has seen me in months. I've been restricting so hard and working so hard not to binge. Fuck. It's finally working again.
I'm going to easily slide into the wedding dress I ordered a size smaller than I was when I ordered it. It already zips fine and it has only been like a month or two? Idk. This is what holding back from binges does. This is what restricting and weighing and "I'm not hungry"-ing does. Gotta keep going.
I cannot fucking wait. Ah!
Edit: I still can't figure out flair on mobile, does the app have a way to do it or do I have to go through the browser?
[Other] Whats in my mini fridge?
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Tue Jul 11 01:00:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mklaj/whats_in_my_mini_fridge/
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https://i.redd.it/w1epobraww8z.jpg
[Other] Rage + Cigarettes = a F*ckyou Fast
/u/spaceeeeeeeeecadet [158cm | cw 52 | 21.54 | ugw 40 | 22F]
Created: Tue Jul 11 00:53:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mkk82/rage_cigarettes_a_fckyou_fast/
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Just hooked up with my man Friday — I get it we're friends with benefits, but he couldn't even be bothered to help me find my shirt. I don't give a flying fuck if you're tried and its 2 in the morning, we just had sex. Do you really not even have the courtesy to even pretend you care?!
He just laid there unconscious, mumbling incoherently like a vegetable decomposing into a corpse. I asked him for help, he asked me to turn the lights off. Anddd that's when it happened folks - seething annoyance boiling to the point of no return. My rage is quiet but savage, make no mistake.
I finally found my shirt after a million goddamn years. I left the lights on and got the fuck out. Had two cigarettes in my rage while I plotted my fuckyou-fast. I was starting my fast anyway, but goddamn this new found motivation really has me going 😂
[Rant/Rave] Getting sick of this
/u/squishysponges [18F|5'5"|GW 110]
Created: Tue Jul 11 00:19:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mkf94/getting_sick_of_this/
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Just a big rant here. So I've been eating pretty well recently, counting all my calories and not even going over 1200, cardio for at least an hour a day plus some weight lifting, drinking nothing but water..... nothing is coming off. Wtf??
So basically fuck doing it the "healthy" way when I was losing more fasting intermittently and keeping it at 700 calls max lmao. But maybe I'm just gaining muscle. Either way I'm seeing no difference and I'm pissssssed.
Anyway, I'm also really craving fried dumplings from my local Chinese food place.... not the best idea but im definitely getting them sometime this week and eating only that for the day lmao.
[Rant/Rave] Just a rant~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 23:53:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mkbjs/just_a_rant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I can't stand being in my body.
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Mon Jul 10 23:15:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mk5n2/i_cant_stand_being_in_my_body/
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I hate this feeling so fucking much.
[Discussion] I'm starting to be ok with no boobs
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 22:51:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mk1v1/im_starting_to_be_ok_with_no_boobs/
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My boobs have completely disappeared thanks to two kids and 65 pounds of weight lost. I was super self conscious about it for a while but I've very recently started going without a bra or wearing a bathing suit top under a tank.
Is it crazy that my lack of boobs make me feel skinnier? Like you can see my bones better........
[Goal] Really hoping to recoop tomorrow
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Mon Jul 10 22:06:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mju57/really_hoping_to_recoop_tomorrow/
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I've been trying to purge less because it's killing my throat, my dentist told me that my throat looks pretty bad and I was like yeah I'm just a little sick, idk if she was buying it though 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
I didn't want to purge on Saturday, but my dad got me coconut cake as a surprise, so I purged.
Then I was like tomorrow's another day, tomorrow will be better. But I went to the supermarket and after making good choices I just thought "fuck it I'm getting Hawaiian buns and mini pies and I'LL EAT THEM ALLL!" So I had to purge on Sunday too.
Today my goal was to stay under 1000, but social eating... so I'm going to purge.
So I'm trying to not to tomorrow. I won't be being social, I'm staying home, I won't eat like a 500 pound man and I'll relax...hopefully 🙏🙏🙏
Also I'm getting sick, like a cold or something, and this is really exasperating it. So I really hope I can try to be good to myself tomorrow
[Other] My weeks cal, sorry for the chicken scratch i call hand wirting
/u/Inxthewolf
Created: Mon Jul 10 21:35:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjouw/my_weeks_cal_sorry_for_the_chicken_scratch_i_call/
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https://i.redd.it/ttrc04xsvv8z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Small victories!
/u/onlyroom_forthin [5'6.5 | CW:152.4| 23.9 | SW:170 | UGW:120 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 21:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjma6/small_victories/
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1. I lost 15 lbs while I was on a 2 month trip. Was worried because I couldn't weigh my food or see how it was made, but I cut out snacks and limited my portion sizes and it worked! And I'm trying to continue the no snacking rule now that I'm home.
2. I dumped my shitty ex boyfriend, so that was 170 lbs right there.
3. I got laid last weekend and all he could say when I took my clothes of was Jesus Christ you're hot. It was a major self esteem boost.
I haven't felt this good in a long time, and I'm ready to get back on the horse and lose all my extra weight!
[Other] IRL thinspo
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Mon Jul 10 21:04:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjj7f/irl_thinspo/
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Today at work (retail) I saw this thin thin thin girl. She was wearing fitted crop top and joggers. Her hip bones stuck out so much they looked like they could cut me. The profile of her torso was so slim and flat and her stomach did that thing where it like curves inward. I was probably staring her down like a fucking creepy weirdo, but I was just so in awe of her because that was so unreal to me, like something I only see in thinspo pictures on the internet, I never see girls like that irl. When I gave her her change I saw how bony and tiny her hands were and gasped in my head. I was thinking to myself that she is goals af, but she might've been really unwell/sick, so I feel kinda bad.
[Other] My spreadsheet for calories and exercise. I like doing it on a weekly basis (this was last week. I took this photo before I logged anything)
/u/edgy-af
Created: Mon Jul 10 21:03:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjiyl/my_spreadsheet_for_calories_and_exercise_i_like/
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https://i.redd.it/k5zkx8v1qv8z.jpg
[Tip] Halo top alternative!
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Mon Jul 10 20:35:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjdja/halo_top_alternative/
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Found a new Halo top-ish ice cream called Enlightened!! It's only 240 cal for the whole pint! I got the coffee flavor and it's really yum, way better than halotop imo
[Discussion] Am I crazy or does anyone else feel like life treats your better when you're skinny
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Mon Jul 10 20:33:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjd3i/am_i_crazy_or_does_anyone_else_feel_like_life/
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I'm probably just crazy. But seriously like stuff that's not just in my head happens when I get skinnier.
-People treat me very nicely and are more talkative
-Guys I haven't talked to in forever will text me
-This lady offered me a hair treatment HUNDREDS of dollars cheaper than it was supposed to be (she said bc I'm a college student but still). She was whispering to me and lied to her coworkers about what the appt. was for
And really just a bunch of little things just go in my favor. It's probably just me being biased and noticing more when I'm skinnier but idk man. And I'm not talking about a lot of weight either. I'm normally 130ish, but when I get down to 120 and start getting noticeably thin I swear the universe is in my favor. Yup probably just crazy.
[Intro] I'm ready.
/u/pumpkin_boots [Height: 163cm | CW: 70kg | GW: 48kg | BMI: 26.63 | Age: 22F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 20:27:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjbyv/im_ready/
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Hi guys, I'm new here and I wanted to introduce myself. I have a food addiction. I never had the guts to purge so I just do 2000+ cal binges and pack on weight. I've put nearly 20kg on in the last two years. I'm so sick of feeling like shit and hating myself when I look in the mirror. I have an awful relationship with food and I just can't help myself from binging. Nothing in the house is safe. I'm ready to break this cycle and be better.
[Rant/Rave] Doctor check up - terrified
/u/allafternooninlove
Created: Mon Jul 10 20:23:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjb5l/doctor_check_up_terrified/
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Hi there. I have to rant about this beceause it's literally killing me. Have in mind that english isn't my native language, so sorry.
I've been sick. Really sick. I've been in treatment for my disease (cancer) and now I have to go to regular check ups. One of the biggest side effects of my treatments is weight loss. The doctors have checked my weight almost every week and I didn't suffer much from side effects of the treatment. I lost though around 2kg (4.5 pounds).
And now I have to go on check ups every months. And my next one is on Thursday. I'm freaking out because I have lost almost 5kg (11 pounds) in a month (I'm really fucking happy about it though). I'm so afraid because they are going to ask what cause of the weight loss is. If I say something like "I haven't had any appetite" or something similar, they are probably gonna give me nutritional drink (all the calories, fuck!!) and demand me to try to gain weight. I'm so afraid also they will suspect something about an ED.
They know about my depression from my journal. But I haven't told anybody about my eating behaviour, because it feels like I don't have one. I feel like a fraud because I have episodes where I eat "normally" and now all I can think of is to lose weight. I have never been this low in weight before in my life either.
I've tried some days to eat above my calories limit (1000kcal) but always got horrible guilt feelings (read anxiety) and restricted really hard the days after.
I've tried to talk to my nurse on my psychiatric clinic about my eating behaviours and I told her I've lost some weight and all she responded was "Yeah, I noticed you've lost some weight, you looked more chubby before" so I haven't bothered to try again lmao.
[Help] How to Attain a Slender Look (like Jessica Alba & Zoe Saldana)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 20:23:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mjb3a/how_to_attain_a_slender_look_like_jessica_alba/
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https://bretcontreras.com/how-to-attain-a-slender-look-like-jessica-alba-zoe-saldana/
[Discussion] DAE think like this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 19:59:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mj6i0/dae_think_like_this/
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I've been eating pretty normal for the past month (although i don't really know anymore lol) and now i'm just sitting here fantasizing about bp'ing and losing weight but there's a little voice in my head saying something like "that would be SO BAD FOR YOU don't do it!!!!". It's like an angel and devil on my shoulders telling me right vs wrong.
Does anyone else aspire to be healthy and fit but always succumbs to the ed thoughts?
[Other] Today's mini grocery haul 🌻
/u/blondecurlyhair [5'3.5" | CW: 133 | 23.7 | -64lbs | 22F 🌷]
Created: Mon Jul 10 19:44:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mj3nx/todays_mini_grocery_haul/
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http://i.imgur.com/2xvmm2R.jpg
[Rant/Rave] No one takes me seriously
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Mon Jul 10 19:39:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mj2mk/no_one_takes_me_seriously/
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No one in my life cares. They brush off my behaviours as something minor until it inconveniences them. When i try to find comfort in my SO because i binged she just says "its ok im sure it wasnt that bad". It was that bad. she's just happy im not restricting. She doesnt actually care for my struggles or health. When i try to confide in my mother that ive been starving myself she jokes about how at least we have more food in the house. She doesnt really care. She only ever cares when im collapsing. When i try to confide in her that im binging she just brushes it off the same as my SO.She only ever cares when I literally eat all the food we have in the house. She doesnt really care for my health or well being. She's voiced her disappointment in me that I still cant eat normally after over half a year of outpatient and therapy. I tried to confide in my brother and all he said was "wow you really have problems." and asked me to not purge as loudly anymore.
no one takes me seriously. no one fucking cares.
[Intro] Re intro kind of
/u/astr4lproject [5'8 | 125 | 18.8 ]
Created: Mon Jul 10 19:33:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mj1nc/re_intro_kind_of/
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I posted on here a fair amount over the last six months but I remade my account because I think there was a bot downvoting all my comments like the literal second I made them?? So I'm starting afresh as astr4lproject
Spent the last month trying to recover but it's going erm pretty badly lol. My XS clothes are starting to get too tight to wear again and it's all a bit 🙃🙃🙃I also purged successfully for the first time while I was gone fml.
[Other] Aldi grocery haul
/u/Franny___Glass [5'8" | 107.2 lb. | 16.30 | f]
Created: Mon Jul 10 19:32:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mj1g5/aldi_grocery_haul/
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https://m.imgur.com/a/xlTbP
[Discussion] Bloating Issues
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Mon Jul 10 19:22:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6miz7i/bloating_issues/
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When you bloat or retain water, do you bloat everywhere?
I've been eating more veggies which I haven't been doing as much lately and the fiber is making me sooo bloated. But not only my stomach, my thighs look and feel so much bigger. Please someone tell me that when you bloat you feel it/show t everywhere 😭
[Rant/Rave] Red String
/u/sea-sigh
Created: Mon Jul 10 18:59:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6miujp/red_string/
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So I follow a girl on IG who is from my state who does some pretty great makeup looks... then recently she posted a photo and what's on her wrist?... A little red string.... and I really want to ask her about it, but I honestly really can't invade people's privacy like that. Ahhh the anxiety! So if you're here.... you had pineapples on your eyes in the pic!!!! Hi!
Anyway, day two of not binging. Still a high restrict but I've been able to stop eating so that's good. Wish me luck tonight because I'm not hungry but I feel like eating :( how's everyone else doing lately?
[Rant/Rave] Two things....trigger warning
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 18:35:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mipok/two_thingstrigger_warning/
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[deleted]
[Goal] ok actually i need to slow my roll
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 105| 17.5 | gw 104 | ugw 98]
Created: Mon Jul 10 18:28:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mioh4/ok_actually_i_need_to_slow_my_roll/
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gonna try to transition to higher restriction for the foreseeable future which is hard. even after all this time it still feels right to restrict as low as possible even tho i KNOW it's not sustainable.
im visiting my best friend out east for a few weeks in september and a) im NOT ruining that by getting thrown back in treatment b) i dont want to worry him by losing "too much" weight or refusing to eat over 600 calories when im there and c) god the last thing i want is to binge like a monster and/ or pass out around him or his family. plus he loves cooking and keeps talking about how excited he is to make me delicious food.
plus i have another trip in fall that is important enough to me i dont even want to talk about out cuz im scared I'll jinx it.
ive been hospitalized twice this year already not even counting php iop etc...i was basically in higher levels of care for six months. I've been in outpatient for two months and i want to keep it that way! and i can keep it that way but not if i keep doing what im doing.
i think if i work at it i can get up to 800-1000 on a pretty regular basis so thats my goal. maybe higher at least sometimes for Practice. that and no more puuurging. i know i want to lose but ... i need 2 not be in such a hurry about it. i need to CHILL. i can do that. i think. i just need to keep reminding myself WHY i need to do better. i have stuff to look forward to i cant just let myself get into self destruct mode right now.
[Rant/Rave] I'm apparently the most boring person to be around
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Mon Jul 10 18:20:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mimv5/im_apparently_the_most_boring_person_to_be_around/
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I feel really alone right now. I have been taking adderall for a few weeks now and it's really been amazing. I've been way more productive and have absolutely no appetite. I'm still looking for a job, but I love getting things done to feel a sense of an accomplishment. Unfortunately, my fiance says I've changed and not as fun to be around. He doesn't like that I'm productive. We've known each other for 3 years and dated for a year. I know this post doesn't have much to do with ED, but you guys are like the closest thing I have to real friends. Before you guys I just had my fiance to talk to and he makes me feel like I'm a horrible person for being productive when he's here every single day. He finally decided to leave because he was bored and I just don't understand why I'm so awful to be around..he even said we will have a shitty marriage.. I don't get it. :(
[Help] How do y'all force yourselves to sleep?
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Mon Jul 10 18:09:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mikgs/how_do_yall_force_yourselves_to_sleep/
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Especially those of you who use stimulants like caffeine and adderall throughout the day.
[Rant/Rave] MyFitnessPal "Warned" Me and I am Butthurt
/u/BlackHairedBloodElf [❤ 5' 2" 💛 CW: 97.6 💚 GW: 99 💙 17.9 💜 F ❤]
Created: Mon Jul 10 18:02:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mij0f/myfitnesspal_warned_me_and_i_am_butthurt/
---
Someone asked how to lower calories below 1200. As a short girl, I figured this out ages ago. So I posted how.
Today I see that I have a warning on my account and can't read why on mobile. I'm not mean so I'm way confused as to what I did. Then I remembered that post, and searched to find that it was deleted.
So since I'm butthurt, I'm getting my revenge by telling you guys how:
Goals -> Calorie and Micronutrient Goals-> Calories
Suck it, MFP. I do what I want. 🔥
(And I am aware they do it to stop those with EDs. Its not stopping anyone. They're just covering their butts legally.)
Flair rant. Am on mobile.
[Other] Only 230 calories! Yum
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 17:33:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6micyv/only_230_calories_yum/
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https://i.redd.it/p9s2va9jou8z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Intro Post and Antidepressant Rant (Long)
/u/Deloony
Created: Mon Jul 10 17:00:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mi5ve/intro_post_and_antidepressant_rant_long/
---
Hi there :)
I've made a few comments in the sub but mostly lurk. Think it's about time for an introduction as everything feels like it's hit a breaking point.
I'm currently struggling with a binge restrict cycle whilst also trying to find an antidepressant that doesn't make the binging worse. I was on citalopram for about 4 months and came off it because it sent my appetite insane and I gained to 140 pounds from about 115 (at 5 foot 5).
I finally dropped to around 130 with a binge restrict cycle, but felt the depression got bad enough to seek help again.
I tried mirtazapine for a couple of weeks and stopped that on Friday because I gained 4 pounds and felt exactly like I did on the citalopram as far as binge eating went.
I've been on sertraline (generic Zoloft) since then and it seems to control my appetite but I'm so wired right now at 11pm even though I took it at 7am. On net 800 calories after running 5k this evening. The previous two weeks I've been between net 2000 and 4000 every day.
Sometimes I feel like I don't qualify because I've always been a healthy weight, but other times I'm hyper aware that my food habits are not okay. It's not normal to eat 4 or 5 days of food at once then starve the rest of the week just to maintain. It's so all or nothing. So much salt in binge days that my skin aches with water retention for 3 days afterwards.
Going to see someone about the binging next week and hoping to eventually drop to my happy weight of about 119 pounds. I don't really care if it's through severe restricting or the healthy way, I just can't deal with feeling out of control and stuffing my face.
Beyond all of that, I'm a computer scientist from England with two cats. I love running, it makes me feel so calm afterwards. I also do weights, bouldering, and recently started ballet. I'm quite into video games when I have time. I love baking (and giving the cakes away to watch other people eat them) and I have wayyyyy too many fancy dresses.
[Tip] I'm sorry if linking comments is against the rules (if it is I'll take it off), but this comment legit opened my eyes. I hope it's somewhat useful for you too c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 16:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mi5q5/im_sorry_if_linking_comments_is_against_the_rules/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/normalnudes/comments/6mgnvw/28f_53_130lbs_working_on_building_some_self/dk1pbjd/
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Mon Jul 10 16:49:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mi3ml/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/ngaaopxqgu8z.jpg
[Discussion] Does anyone else keep track of cals like this? I need to get back into it. Something about seeing the numbers on a calendar is so satisfying and keeps me accountable
/u/thiamethoxam1 [5'6" | CW 115 |GW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 16:45:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mi2o3/does_anyone_else_keep_track_of_cals_like_this_i/
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https://i.redd.it/auzqmuqyfu8z.jpg
[Other] Jumping on the grocery haul bandwagon! "Using sodium to pretend restriction doesn't devastate my blood pressure" edition.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 16:27:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhyvp/jumping_on_the_grocery_haul_bandwagon_using/
---
https://i.redd.it/o207b63tbu8z.jpg
[Thinspo] Milla Kunis is goals
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 16:10:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhv4q/milla_kunis_is_goals/
---
https://i.redd.it/wojmzlou9u8z.jpg
[Help] is there a reason for eyes feeling weird?
/u/nodamncatnodamncradl [5'10 | 128 LB | 17.91 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 16:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhtxp/is_there_a_reason_for_eyes_feeling_weird/
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I know this is really vauge, and there could be some non ED reasons for this but I keep getting this weird 'blurry eyes' feeling... my vision doesn't really blur but my eyes feel slow and just kind of ...kind of like when you are drunk?
Does anyone know if there a specific vitamin deficiency or something ED related that causes this?
Does anyone else get this feeling?
Sorry this is a pretty dumb question.
[Other] A snack time tribute to /u/Nude-Prude
/u/Banana_Enema
Created: Mon Jul 10 15:53:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhr1q/a_snack_time_tribute_to_unudeprude/
---
http://i.imgur.com/IbreJDL.jpg
[Help] Freaking out over 300 calories
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:126lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 15:48:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhq3c/freaking_out_over_300_calories/
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Lately I've been restricting to 600 or less calories per day. So far today I've eat about 900 and I'm having such crazy anxiety over it. I know there's no possible way for me to gain weight eating this much, in fact I'll probably still end up losing, but I just feel so fat. I was doing so well without purging but the urge is so strong right now. :( I don't know what to do.
[Other] Friends
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 15:45:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhp9l/friends/
---
I've been having a really really rough time with all of this. I'm lying to everyone and I'm always in a place of "tomorrow I'll get back to my meal plan and be okay." I have to at least get on track by Wednesday when my roommate gets back. We haven't had any talks about the ED, and part of me wants to let it go until it's a thing and another part wants to ask for support, even though I have no idea what that looks like. I don't want a babysitter, and I don't want to place that burden on anyone. At the same time, I know I am in a really really bad place and I'm going to struggle to get out of it.
Another good friend of mine is in a rough spot and he looks to help others in those times. We had a long chat today and for the first time I got more honest about the ED than ever. I still maintained I was meeting my meal plan for the most part because I feel the need to maintain the lie at all times, but I was honest about the fact that I lost, that I got threatened with res again, and I have to maintain for that to not happen. I felt good knowing I could fucking say this shit out loud without having someone judge me or tell me to just eat a sandwich and I'll be fine (we joked about it, in a way where he said "I know you'd kill me and I know that doesn't do shit"). I feel like this shit swims around in my head all day and it felt better to just let it out in a nonclinical place. I'm sick and tired of being alone IRL, and I really am finding that I do have people around me I can trust.
It's true that secrets keep me sick, and I need and want to be more honest with those around me to recover. I'm not sure how this is going to look moving forward, but for my first step if I have the urge to be honest with my roommate I'm going to be fucking honest because I know she's on my side and wants to be helpful. We just both don't know what that looks like. I trust we can figure it out together though.
[Rant/Rave] I'm back, an update into the mess that is I
/u/eldariya [6'4 | 138.2 | 15.74 | -127.8 | M]
Created: Mon Jul 10 15:19:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhjcm/im_back_an_update_into_the_mess_that_is_i/
---
So I've kinda been gone for like ...3 months lmao sorry, basically what has happened is.
I cut off my safety blanket, basically he was a dude I loved very much but he didn't love me back and I would speak to him everyday but I knew he was shady af always blanking me. Anyway, my anxiety couldn't take it so I got the balls to leave him.
I finished college for the year, I got a B in finance and a D in my Essay thing and I think I've gotten a C in Business which honestly 10/10 super happy woo.
My weight? Honey, that shit been out of control. Apparently, I love 4000 calorie binges??? BUT. I'm finally restricting again ish and life is good (ok it's not but whatever)
I'm going travelling alone this summer in Central Europe which i'm scared about but excited for and I booked like the absolute cheapest hotel lmao I'm a broke bitch ok, and breakfast is included so hopefully maybe that can be my only food whilst i'm in prague?
I got a job!!!! Like it's in retail, granted it doesn't pay much but bitch it feels so fucking good holy shit.
Okay and now onto my love life, I've always been very honest here:- it has been nil and void. Literally it has been a mess of me getting broken none stop. BUT, today a dude got the train for 2 hours just to take me for coffee and it was rly nice, granted afterwards he wasn't too sure about the possibility of a relationship due to distance but I was like honey, we should at least attempt it before dismissing it (Lol as u can tell, self destructive behaviours are still present in my love life)
Oh also beginning of August I'm going London to go a few modelling agencies because I want to try that out since I got the height and face and technically the body (progress, people)
So yeah! [Here is my usual random link to a beauty pageant](https://youtu.be/2GlC2tQovqs?t=2062)
[Help] Can someone check my numbers for me?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 15:09:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhgwa/can_someone_check_my_numbers_for_me/
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I'm sorry if this is a weird thing to ask (or if it's not allowed- just let me know and I'll take it down, of course), but I've been trying to run my CICO numbers for the past 14 days and I keep getting slightly different results.
When I totaled the amount of calories I've eaten in the past 14 days, it comes to 8731, and when I totaled the amount of exercise calories burned, I came up with 4335.
My TDEE is 1500, so TDEE for 14 days is 21000.
So, TDEE minus calories eaten is 12269.
TDEE minus calories eaten plus calories burned from exercise brings it up to 16604, which in pounds would be roughly 4.61 pounds lost.
Am I thinking about this right? The reason I'm freaking out is because I'm trying to lose 10 pounds in 30 days and so that would mean I have 5.4 to go, and I'm trying to plan the next few weeks.
[Help] What do you do when you feel emotionally triggered?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 15:07:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mhgjz/what_do_you_do_when_you_feel_emotionally_triggered/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Phoebe Tonkin is ultimate goals
/u/PrincessSpice [177 | 123.6 | 17.4 |]
Created: Mon Jul 10 14:27:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mh6lh/phoebe_tonkin_is_ultimate_goals/
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http://m.imgur.com/pbWAtYP
[Other] Update on date as promised...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 14:26:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mh6ei/update_on_date_as_promised/
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So, today I asked the guy out for coffee before he had to go to work.
I asked him by text because I'm a freaking coward and he didn't reply, but when I went to get my scarf he said "I saw your message and I would really like to". Not sure if it was a date or not, probably not, but we went for coffee and it was really nice. He's very quiet but we spoke loads and that was great. I let him do more talking because I never shut up.
Then he had to go to work and we walked back, and I said "this was really nice and we can do it again if you want. Just lemme know when you're free!" He nodded and smiled (but not too enthusiastically) and said "yeah it was. I'll let you know!" and then set off for his work.
So, I don't know how successful it was and he probably thinks I'm hideous and only thinks of me as a friend...but I DID IT.
Well done me.
[Rant/Rave] I cannot STAND hunger like this
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Mon Jul 10 13:46:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mgwcp/i_cannot_stand_hunger_like_this/
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WTF is with swimming? I swam yesterday for quite a while in a beautiful freshwater lake. Sometimes we took breaks to be towed along, but over the course of the evening, the distance probably amounted to about a half mile as a conservative estimate. I was proud of myself. I woke up this morning with muscles I didn't even know I had feeling mildly sore--the good kind of sore. Areas in my back and below my neck, my abdomen, and the fronts and backs of my legs. Such a good feeling. It'd probably be a million times more painful if I'd done a high impact workout. I've been having knee pain, so it was a great opportunity, and something about it was therapeutic. I came home already feeling leaner and stronger, even though I knew it was only mental. Afterwards, I was ravenous, as is usually the case after swimming. But I do IF, so closing out the evening at the campsite with burgers, cake, fruit, and pasta salad was a no-brainer. I finished the day uncomfortably full. No problemo, tomorrow is a new day....
But I woke up this morning, now at work, and still feeling the same overwhelming hunger. Not even my meds, which usually kill my appetite, have had any effect. I already ate 2 Clif bars before 10am (500 kcal!), breaking my IF schedule. Now it's not even 2 and I swear I could eat two more. My stomach is grumbling. I haven't felt a hunger like this with any other workout. I've already done some research as to why swimming makes you hungry, and the explanations, while interesting, are not helping the problem.
[Rant/Rave] Kind of want to get better. Can't afford it.
/u/HufflePuffPrid3 [4'11 | 84 | 17 | -19 | F ]
Created: Mon Jul 10 13:31:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mgsl9/kind_of_want_to_get_better_cant_afford_it/
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I kind of want health. I need health because I am about to start an intense graduate program.
I need help with nutrition planning. I need a certified professional dietitian to help me meal plan. I need to be told exactly what to eat by a trained professional.
Because I don't/can't trust myself.
I heavily restrict because I am so scared of losing control and gaining weight.
So, I need someone to tell me the exact amount of food I need to be healthy.
I looked up prices...there is no way I can afford an appointment. I can't get better if I wanted to.
I can't do it without professional nutrition help, exclusively with a dietitian.
FUN
[Rant/Rave] BACK ON TRACK WITH CACTUS WATER
/u/adroit_MAXIMUM
Created: Mon Jul 10 13:07:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mgmsl/back_on_track_with_cactus_water/
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So I discovered cactus water at Costco. It tastes a lot like water with lemon but better. Electrolytes and beautiful reddish color that makes people think I am drinking fruit punch. Each 32 ounce bottle has... wait for it... 80 calories.
I think this might be a good deal for me.
[Other] I'm learning to channel my hunger into something useful.
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Mon Jul 10 13:00:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mgkw8/im_learning_to_channel_my_hunger_into_something/
---
https://imgur.com/PPi6pBx
I am eating maintenence today and it's easy for me to go overboard with chocolate and pig out food until I waste 1780 calories on pure junk. So instead of eating a donut I drew.
[Rant/Rave] NSV: I'm a size S in Japan!
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162 cm) | 116 lbs (52.6 kg)]
Created: Mon Jul 10 12:26:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mgcki/nsv_im_a_size_s_in_japan/
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I am going to Japan this year, and I wanted to be able to blend in at least somewhat, and to be able to fit into most of the clothes available. I am taller than the average Japanese woman, at 162 cm (5 feet 3.75 inches), with a longer torso and legs, and I have a larger bust than most Japanese women, so I knew it would be hard for me to get down to a size XS, but I'm so happy to report that I'll comfortably fit into size S Japanese clothing (size 7 in the chest, but size 5 everywhere else!). I can't wait, I'm so excited! And when I'm there I'll be walking everywhere and possibly be getting even leaner. I still have a few months, so if I can keep pressing on, I'll only be more pleased. I've had good steady progress so far.
Here is what I'm referencing, in case you're curious.
Size|Bust|Waist|Hips
:--|:--|:--|:--
XS 3|75-78 cm (30-31.2")|58-62 cm (23.2-24.8")|81-84 cm (32.4-33.6")
S 5|78-81 cm (31.2-32.4")|62-66 cm (24.8-26.4")|85-88 cm (34-35.2")
S 7|82-85 cm (32.8-34")|67-69 cm (26.8-27.6")|89-92 cm (35.6-36.8")
M 9|86-88 cm (34.4-35.2")|70-72 cm (28-28.8") |92-96 cm (36.8-38.4")
I just want to be able to celebrate this without people telling me I'm getting too small, or scary skinny. There is an entire other country where my size is normal, damn it!
[Thinspo] Nina Dobrev's collarbones <3
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F | 119 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 10 12:25:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mgcc9/nina_dobrevs_collarbones_3/
---
http://imgur.com/a/WqOPX
[Discussion] BBC Woman's Hour - ED
/u/rot_from_view [5'4" | CW: Sugar & Self-loathing | 24F 🌼]
Created: Mon Jul 10 12:21:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mgbcw/bbc_womans_hour_ed/
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There was discussion about eating disorders today (10th July) on BBC Woman's Hour.
I haven't listened to it yet, but it's available [here](http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08x4rdz) and they have some extra episodic content available too (at the bottom).
They're normally quite good, but skimming over the synopsis, it does look like it focuses a lot on anorexia. I'm going to have a listen later!
Let me know what you guys think.
[Rant/Rave] Rant. People just don't get it.
/u/Monkeyelle
Created: Mon Jul 10 11:18:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mfvvl/rant_people_just_dont_get_it/
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Long time lurker, first time poster.
I've been so scared to post. Why? I don't know. But I have found so much encouragement in the posts I've read. It's nice knowing I'm not alone!!!
I am trying to hold back tears right now. I opened up to a "friend" about my ED. Not an easy thing to do, as I'm sure most of you are aware. And his response - "Are you doing this for a guy?"
Are you effing kidding me? First off.. anyone who knows me knows I do not date. Secondly... even if I did, I couldn't imagine how wonderful the man would have to be for me to go through this just for them. To starve. To binge. To have full on panic attacks if I ever have to eat something without knowing the number of calories. To weigh myself multiple times throughout the day and hate myself and feel like a failure if it's gone up by even a single ounce. To not even be able to handle seeing my reflection. To not having pictures of myself and my son because I can't stand the image I see. To dread the idea of going to a grocery store or having food in my house because I might binge.
Ugggh. The tears I were holding back are now falling. People just don't get it. I've dealt with this since my childhood. I'm now approaching my 33rd birthday. To trivialize a struggle to being something that I'd do for some guy... I don't even want to talk to this person again.
And then I have my mom. Who is constantly buying junk food for my son and bringing it to my house. On Friday, she brought Pringles, Doritos, Oreo O's cereal and several different sugary juice drinks. She knows my diagnosis. Why? Why bring all that into my house?
I'm really sorry if this doesn't belong here or isn't the right format (on mobile) but I feel like you guys would understand and right now, I don't have anyone who does.
[Rant/Rave] I'm "recovering" unintentionally and I don't want to
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Jul 10 11:16:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mfv45/im_recovering_unintentionally_and_i_dont_want_to/
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I want to obsessively control what I eat and weigh my food and count calories and hate myself.
But now because of my job at a summer camp, I eat three square meals a day of healthy delicious food and I no longer feel light headed and I eat til I'm full. I've gained like five pounds but I went out with a really hot guy last night and we had never met before (tinder) and it made me feel REALLY good about myself because he was like "whoa you're really attractive, I don't know if I told you that" and it made me feel really happy and now I'm like I don't even know what I'm doing
[Rant/Rave] Irish Cream and Counting Calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 11:06:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mfssx/irish_cream_and_counting_calories/
---
[deleted]
[Help] What calcium supplement do you take?
/u/Silencemenow [5'4 | CW 120 | 20.6 | gw 100 | ugw 95 F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 10:57:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mfqk2/what_calcium_supplement_do_you_take/
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Ideally looking for no calorie. Can tums be used as a calcium supplement? How many should I take assuming I'm getting barely any calcium in my diet?
[Rant/Rave] I love being able to weigh myself whenever I want
/u/greatglowingcoilsoft [5'7 / CW: 172 / F / -40lb]
Created: Mon Jul 10 10:16:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mfgss/i_love_being_able_to_weigh_myself_whenever_i_want/
---
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is out of town for five days, and I'm taking the opportunity to restrict much more heavily than usually to get out of my binge cycle. I've already lost seven pounds (though I'm sure it's mostly water weight, so I'm waiting to update my flair) in the first two days.
My only problem is, I can't stop stepping on the scale. Every time I exercise or go to the bathroom, it's like my brain goes, "okay, now lets see how much we REALLY weigh."
I know it's silly, and I only count my morning weigh ins, but damn it's so satisfying to watch that number keep dropping.
[Thinspo] Ughhhh Carrie Bradshaw's hands <3
/u/bizmo96
Created: Mon Jul 10 10:12:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mffw0/ughhhh_carrie_bradshaws_hands_3/
---
http://imgur.com/a/es9Ad
[Discussion] DAE ever just want to tell somebody?
/u/Chromalust [6'1 | CW: 133lbs | GW: Less | mtF]
Created: Mon Jul 10 10:06:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mfeh9/dae_ever_just_want_to_tell_somebody/
---
Like when I'm asked at work by (especially) the secretary when she's logging hours, about why/if I skipped lunch, I just sometimes get a huge urge to just say *"..because I ate last night"*, or *"..because my planned dinner later is of 'normal' size but I want to treat myself"*.
I'm sick of just stammering and coming up with some lie that sounds better. ):
And she's such a mommy type. Like what would happen? She already thinks I hate candy and cake.
[Discussion] What is your goal for the day?
/u/plediw [161|54kg|GW48kg|19F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 09:32:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mf6ie/what_is_your_goal_for_the_day/
---
I thought it would be a cool idea to share our goals/objectives for the day! I think it'll help me stay accountable, and I'd love to hear from others :)
For me, my main goals are:
1: Don't binge, and don't eat in reaction to anxiety-inducing thoughts/situations
2: Run for at least 40 minutes
3: Eat mindfully, and slowly
4: Don't buy any binge food
[Help] Going to Aldi's later
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 09:24:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mf4mu/going_to_aldis_later/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I want to take my scale and smash it into a million pieces,
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 09:13:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mf235/i_want_to_take_my_scale_and_smash_it_into_a/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fucky serving sizes make me want to rip my goddamn hair out
/u/SavingPrivateSnuffy
Created: Mon Jul 10 09:02:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mezsm/fucky_serving_sizes_make_me_want_to_rip_my/
---
Okay like, if you have a can of the 0 calorie monster I don't see why they don't just make one can the serving size. Yes I get that they'd have to put the accurate amount of sodium per can on there but god fucking dammit *who* drinks half a can of monster then calls it quits and leaves it to come back to.... when it's all flat and nasty...
[Thinspo] Does anyone else feel like fashion is a big factor in their thinspo? I admire bodies types 1 million times more in the same clothing/style that is similar to mine. Maybe I'm just a clothes whore.
/u/Awdumb
Created: Mon Jul 10 08:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mev5h/does_anyone_else_feel_like_fashion_is_a_big/
---
https://i.redd.it/4riukxio1s8z.jpg
Can you buy bronkaid online?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 08:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6meqg5/can_you_buy_bronkaid_online/
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[deleted]
[Other] New favorite drink: 20 cals a can but tastes almost exactly like Minute Maid lemonade
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 117 | 19.5 | UGW 100 | 20F | 🍑: moodles]
Created: Mon Jul 10 08:18:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6meq24/new_favorite_drink_20_cals_a_can_but_tastes/
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https://i.redd.it/tocjtlvjxr8z.jpg
[Help] Help!
/u/InDaStratosphere7
Created: Mon Jul 10 07:01:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6meafu/help/
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On mobile, so I can't flair. Also, I apologise for shitty spelling and grammar.
Ok, hello! Long time lurker, first time poster here!
So. My friends have asked me to hang out with them. They want to meet at a fast food place and eat there. They all know I've got an ED, so I can't purge because one of them will follow me into the bathroom. Fast food scares the shit out of me, so I don't want to eat at all, but they won't let me leave unless I do. What can I do? I'm torn between wanting to hang out with them, but not wanting to go because I don't want to eat. Do any of you guys have advice?
[Thinspo] My personal thinspo: Ulyana Sergeenko
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 06:34:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6me5ro/my_personal_thinspo_ulyana_sergeenko/
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https://i.redd.it/p0rnddh3fr8z.jpg
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! July 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 10 06:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6me2a1/weekly_stats_update_july_10_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 10, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 10, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 10 06:14:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6me299/daily_food_diary_july_10_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 10, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Help convince me purging-type bulimia is dangerous??
/u/plediw [161|54kg|GW48kg|19F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 06:01:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mdzu3/help_convince_me_purgingtype_bulimia_is_dangerous/
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So I purge 4-6 times a day, and that's a normal regular thing for me: a "successful" day when I try not to purge would be when I only purge 1-3 times which is kinda fucked.
I know on a rational level that purging is dangerous and not good for me. But I'm able to purge without hands/force, and it's very easy for me. I can usually get it done in 3-5 min, I rarely taste acid on the way back up, and it doesn't leave me super exhausted. Because of this, I can't seem to associate the symptoms/dangers of bulimia to myself? I keep telling myself that I would never actually become super ill, even though I'm not some special exempt case.
Is there anyone who had similar purging habits, or someone who can make the dangers seem more real? Thanks :)
Edit: Thanks so much for the replies. Just to clarify, I'm not "trying out" bulimia if that's what it seems like; this has been something I've struggled w for over two years now, and it's gradually becoming worse and worse. My stupid brain just doesn't seem to accept that my actions have fucking consequences, so I was hoping your answers force me to confront myself, because I've been dealing with life pretty pathetically as of late.
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | - 140| 30F | AU]
Created: Mon Jul 10 04:46:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mdofi/ugh/
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2 fucking pounds.
I lost one pound a day (really unusual for me) after comicon au, was a fucktard and ate a whole box of cookies and was "forced" to eat spaghetti... - we are so poor and were out of veggies (I tend to eat little to nothing then steamed veggies at night)... I just don't usually have to deal with secreting away food like pasta but now I'm married... and old.. also I haven't had pasta in over a year.
(Also I haven't taken a BM in over a week I don't really care I'm still so fucked up over it re the next bit)
Now I've gained 2 pounds since my low in 3 days
I'm crying every morning.
I'm not even low, underweight, like an optimal weight for my height. I don't deserve to give this much of a shit over 2 pounds. Anyway. I feel like it'll be 2 pounds I'll spend 4 weeks trying to lose again. I'm so fucking dumb.
[Discussion] Question here
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 04:07:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mdj3p/question_here/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] ⚠️annoying rant⚠️turn back now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 03:29:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mde1f/annoying_rantturn_back_now/
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[deleted]
[Help] Hitting a low weight but I'm crying
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 02:32:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6md6zz/hitting_a_low_weight_but_im_crying/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Update: I made the call
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6md1ac/update_i_made_the_call/
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Hello there people! (Again).
So last time I wrote about how I wrote the email to ED Lady, so I could apply for ED treatment. She wrote back that I should call their office, so they could send me the forms for the application.
So I called. Shit, I cried during the phone call (just a little tho) and felt like a fat failure. First of all, there's a waiting list of 6 MONTHS. Half a year. I can either double my weight or lose it all. I don't know, 6 months seems so far out of reach. I said i'm totally fine with it, because I guess I've had years of disordered eating, half a year won't make a difference.
Also, she asked me about my bmi. I lied and said twenty, though it's actually almost 23. I guess I can drop three bmi points in half a year, can i? This is so messy. Also, she was like "do you know what bmi is? have you ever calculated yours?" ahahahaha i couldn't help but laugh hysterically (internally, though).
My god, I can't believe i did this. It feels unreal, as if i called someone in a parallel universe, or if it wasn't me who did the call but the weak, pathetic, whiny version of me that hides in the back corner of my head and has never seen the day light before. I don't even know what to expect. I guess this is a 'goal' post? Though it feels more like admitting to my failure. *edit: a word
Daily Thinsp
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:34:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mczof/daily_thinsp/
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https://i.redd.it/mtjkyoggxp8z.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mczo8/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/klosxbogxp8z.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:34:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mcznb/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/f0fqnlsfxp8z.jpg
[Thinspo] Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:33:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mczma/thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/go4yl9mexp8z.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:33:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mczle/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/qqggz25dxp8z.jpg
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:33:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mczkz/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/meq4m1ocxp8z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] OCD + ED = disaster, no life
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Mon Jul 10 01:08:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mcwaf/ocd_ed_disaster_no_life/
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I have OCD. Right now my life is in a low point.
I have so many worries about HOW I eat (not WHAT I eat), they are taking over my life. I always wonder if I am eating in a gluttonous, or "fat" way. Sometimes if I don't talk to myself about my bites, I feel guilty because it reminds me of someone that is binging. I have to time how long I eat, and whenever I start my timer, I always check for a long time that my timer says zero before it starts. When I am done eating, I am sometimes worried I did not wipe my mouth enough and have to do it again.
I am also engaging in so many behaviors about washing my hands over and over again just in case I made contact with any calories. I feel like breaking down every day because I am so, so worried about trace calories. Sometimes I am worried that random particles I see need to be counted in my caloric intake. I have a calorie goal/limit that my food never exceeds, but I sometimes even feel guilty that I have exceeded it because my sink was not cleaned, I brushed my teeth with toothpaste, and/or I fell asleep (therefore burning fewer calories).
I check and recheck my MFP logs because I am worried they are wrong. My eyes swim from staring at my phone screen intensely.
It probably takes a few hours to do all of this every day. Factor in the time from breaking down because of some weight-related thing I see online and feeling fat, and I'm not able to get anything done.
I want to cry. I don't know what to do. I guess this is a hard thing to help someone out with, but... please help? ;c
[Rant/Rave] Today is the day.
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Mon Jul 10 00:51:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mctw8/today_is_the_day/
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Today I'll finally stop eating so damn much. I'll end the miserable binge cycle that's been going on and off too long. I started at 120 pounds, am now at 105 pounds and will be at 94 pounds by the time my birthday comes at the end of August. I promise this to myself and to you guys, so I can't fail it now. I'm going to do it and maybe finally succeed after all these days. I need to get myself together and this rant was the first part of it, thanks for always being here. I'd be feeling so alone without y'all. 💕
[Rant/Rave] Any POC here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 23:31:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mcihx/any_poc_here/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Kava!!!
/u/totalbabes [5'0 | CW: 90 lbs | BMI 17.6 | Weight Lost: 24 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 23:10:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mcffo/kava/
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Tastes like dirt, but the effects are amazing! Tried my first shell today! Has anyone else tried this weird-ass drink? I'm trying to figure out if it's linked to weight loss.
[Tip] I just made some super delicious cookies and they are less than 100 calories each!
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 22:56:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mcd1a/i_just_made_some_super_delicious_cookies_and_they/
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Ingredients:
-1.5 cup unbleached all purpose flour 660 cals
-1 tsp baking soda 0 cals
-0.5 tsp cinnamon 3 cals
-0.25 tsp salt 0 cals
-1 medium overripe banana 105 cals
-0.5 cup brown sugar 360 cals (you could sub for the brown sugar splenda for even less calories)
-1 5.5 oz container dannon vanilla Greek yogurt 80 cals
-2 tbsp canola oil 260 cals
-1 large egg 72 cals
-1 tsp pure vanilla extract 6 cals
-2.5 cups Bob's old country style Meusli 1,400 cals
1. Preheat oven to 350 F
2. Mix together flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt
3. In a separate bowl, beat banana until smooth. Add brown sugar, yogurt, oil, egg, and vanilla. Mix with mixer until well combined. Add flour and mix again.
4. Stir in muesli by hand
5. Drop dough by the spoonful onto a parchment covered baking sheet
6. Bake for about 10 minutes
This made 30 cookies for me which equals 98 calories per cookie. They are sooo good warm and my apartment now smells amazing. Also much more filling then a regular cookie. Highly recommend.
Original recipe: http://www.fromvalerieskitchen.com/soft-bake-muesli-breakfast-cookies/
[Rant/Rave] My Dad is now into Halo Top
/u/SavingPrivateSnuffy
Created: Sun Jul 9 22:19:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mc77h/my_dad_is_now_into_halo_top/
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I'm happy because he's diabetic and obese so it's good that he's looking for lower calorie alternatives to ice cream.... But now he's gonna start eating my Halo Top and that's a staple for me 🙃🙃🙃
[Other] (doodle) started off as Sailor Saturn but turned into something else
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Sun Jul 9 21:52:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mc2n6/doodle_started_off_as_sailor_saturn_but_turned/
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http://imgur.com/a/aYjrM
[Other] this started off as hotaru (sailor moon) aka everyone's favorite troubled animu senshi but went in another direction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 21:39:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mc0ha/this_started_off_as_hotaru_sailor_moon_aka/
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http://imgur.com/a/Pf2U3
[Rant/Rave] About 5 lbs from morning weight and freaking out
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sun Jul 9 21:11:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbvp0/about_5_lbs_from_morning_weight_and_freaking_out/
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I had a massive b/p session today and couldn't properly purge. I binged at a buffet... something I had finally mostly gotten over doing. I got out of the routine of high cal restriction which was working well...
I am sitting at above 5 lbs my morning weight now (and I hardly EVER am this much over) now and I am afraid of how many cals will "stick". I want to rip my body apart. I hate hate binging and purging and at 32, the sadness of how I am living should push me over the edge.
It's not fair. Other people are begging for a lifeline and to live and I don't want mine. I can't override laziness or primal instinct to die.
It's not even about wanting recovery or not anymore. I just don't have the inner strength, competence or ability to beat this.
[Help] Losing muscle as an mesomorph?
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 20:54:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbsti/losing_muscle_as_an_mesomorph/
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I will literally go for a run and gain muscle. It's stupid and makes me upset. Over the past five years of my ED, I will lose everywhere on my body *EXCEPT* my thighs. (Well, fluctuations here and there). They're too muscular. I know I'm not fat but having big thighs makes me want to rip open my skin and tear everything out. I can't workout without bulking up. Does anyone else have experience with this? I literally feel so hopeless right now. I just need to lose muscle from my thighs.
[Tip] Best low calorie foods to mindlessly snack on?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 20:49:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbrz0/best_low_calorie_foods_to_mindlessly_snack_on/
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[deleted]
Sad grocery haul tonight because I'm unemployed
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Sun Jul 9 20:46:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbrhs/sad_grocery_haul_tonight_because_im_unemployed/
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https://i.redd.it/87tdmr86io8z.jpg
[Intro] I'm so tired of working on myself
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 20:41:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbqgx/im_so_tired_of_working_on_myself/
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I'm feeling so damn alone right now. I've drunkenly posted here before and I guess I'm doing that again right now. But I think that's the only way I can open up.
I quit smoking weed in January. I was addicted for about 8 years. I had undiagnosed adhd my whole life so I was self medicating. Anxiety, depression, adhd. My parents knew I cut and had an eating disorder. I left my therapists office when she threatened that she was going to tell them. They found out. We never talked about it again. They just wanted me to get over it. I just transferred those behaviors to other bad things.
After years of struggling with school and addiction, I decided to get help. I spent this year quitting weed, getting therapy, coaching for the adhd. I started partial hospitalization for the self harm and suicidal thoughts. All of which started again because I quit weed. Weed was so fucking helpful and so harmful at the same time. So I'm 200 days clean, drinking more than ever, and more fixfixPated on my Ed since I was 13. I'm drinking every night and I reach out to friends and family but they're busy with their own lives. I know I need to stop drinking at some point but I don't fucking care. I'm so tired of all the work it takes to be "normal" I miss being stoned and complacent.
[Rant/Rave] Grocery shopping with an audience: AKA I apparently don't know how to read
/u/lostinagrocerystore [5'2" | 105 | 19.9 | -50 | GW: 95]
Created: Sun Jul 9 20:40:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbqew/grocery_shopping_with_an_audience_aka_i/
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TLDR: This got very long, whoops. I ate something I thought was a certain calorie amount, turns out it was about 150 more. Fuck me.
Today was going so, so well until (surprisingly /s) it wasn't. I fucking hate surprises with my food, especially if it's something to do with the calorie counts.
For some backstory, I love popcorn. Popcorn is my ultimate binge/comfort food, and I make sure to get the "regular" sized bags because I eat it as a meal occasionally (excuses, excuses). It's really good, okay.
I went out with my friend on Thursday, (one who has no clue about my ED), and eventually our outing turned into a quick grocery shopping excursion for me. HOWEVER: I am one of those people who is quickly overwhelmed by the amount of choices most big chains have, and I also like to look at/compare calorie counts, which takes me nearly forever (I went to the store once for a few basics, I emerged headachey and squinting an hour later).
Usually me taking my time is ok, but with my friend tagging along I became super anxious about the whole thing, and forced myself to rush through the aisles. I stopped myself from picking out a lot of my "safe" foods as well, because I knew I would take too long and I was really anxious about making my friend wait.
Anyways, we ended up in the popcorn aisle regardless as I had told her earlier I had run out. There were a bunch of choices, a lot of which I had never seen before (queue huge freakout in 3...2...1...). I ended up grabbing a box of what I thought was my regular popcorn, which had a manageable amount of calories.
Finally we can get back to the point (sorry, this kinda got away from me). I made popcorn tonight as a reward for doing so well earlier in the day. Stupid mistake. Will not happen again. Obviously I noticed something was up with the flavor of the popcorn when I started eating it, but I figured even if I had grabbed the wrong one it couldn't be that many more calories. When I went to check the box afterwards, it was something like....150 calories more than I was expecting. UM, EXCUSE ME. NO.
This was like an hour ago and I've finally stopped freaking out about it. I don't think I went over my regular daily limit, but I'm still super pissed because if I hadn't made that stupid mistake I would have been under!!! Ugh. I feel bad because when I found out the calorie count I threw the whole box into the garbage, which feels like a huge waste? But I guess it's not really, as literally nobody else in my family would've eaten it, and I'M certainly not about to.
Takeaway message? Always read the label folks.
[Help] my friend is set on getting donuts together tomorrow. what's the best thing i can order at krispy kreme/dunkin donuts?
/u/YourLocalGaysian
Created: Sun Jul 9 20:10:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbl62/my_friend_is_set_on_getting_donuts_together/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbl62/my_friend_is_set_on_getting_donuts_together/
[Rant/Rave] Broke into the 130s!
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 136.6 | BMI: 28.09 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 20:04:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbk4b/broke_into_the_130s/
---
After holding at 140 for days, I was forced to eat maintenance friday and saturday (sushi date on friday with the SO, then our oldest had her b-day party sat and I had to eat a hotdog and a slice of ice cream cake)... well I must have been super bloated, because I peed all day today and finally hit 139! Holy shit... 28lbs down since mid May!
[Discussion] What are must have foods in your pantry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 19:49:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbhi5/what_are_must_have_foods_in_your_pantry/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Dating with EDs - a discussion
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | ✨]
Created: Sun Jul 9 19:42:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbg87/dating_with_eds_a_discussion/
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Currently I am in my ice queen phase towards all things romance related and have drawn a lot of strength from being upfront about not being emotionally available to any of the people who have expressed interest.
A guy I'm not really but sort of seeing told me after I disclosed my status as an anorexic that he, too, has a pretty bad ED.
During my binge today I texted him and he commiserated and it felt so damn good for someone to actually get what it's like to hate yourself so much but not be able to quit.
We talked about drugs/alcohol and how for us food (or lackthereof) is more of a 'drug' than anything else.
Like I said earlier, I'm not gonna get emotionally mushy with anyone probably ever again because I don't think I have the capacity for that anymore, but has anyone ever been with another person who has an ED?
[Discussion] DAE have parents who trigger them to binge?
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW: disgusting | BMI: 23.1 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 19:35:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbf12/dae_have_parents_who_trigger_them_to_binge/
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i ate the biggest meal i've had in awhile. it wasn't exactly enough, but i felt full.
then i talk to my mom and suddenly i'm ravenous! she didn't even say or do anything to actually bother me, but after everything she's put me through, simply interacting with her automatically elicits some sort of response.
[Rant/Rave] Eating at family friends' houses is so stressful :(
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Sun Jul 9 19:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbb1w/eating_at_family_friends_houses_is_so_stressful/
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this is a little bit of a long rant ugh
So I'm at the uni for the summer and only come home every so often (like once every 4 weeks). At school because im there living in a studio apt by myself and working, its so easy for me to eat a minimum amount of food and keep losing weight. But sometimes it gets lonely at school and i need to see my family.
The problem is that every time i come home my parents like act like i dont eat and try to feed me everything and anything. they ask if i get enough of "x, y, & z nutrient" and i do. It's so annoying. I am mostly vegan so they think im super picky and have a problem (which i might but i hide it from them)
We are at a family friends house for dinner and they are making a bunch of food and im just trying to restrict so hard :( ugh do i just take today off and restrict/workout extra hard this whole work week? ugh so stressed out
[Rant/Rave] Some strange developments
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 19:13:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mbazp/some_strange_developments/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm such a piece of shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 19:09:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mba8r/im_such_a_piece_of_shit/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] is anyone here transsexual (ftm)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 18:56:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mb7uu/is_anyone_here_transsexual_ftm/
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[deleted]
[Help] Help: disordered eating due to abuse
/u/rollsnmo
Created: Sun Jul 9 18:55:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mb7mr/help_disordered_eating_due_to_abuse/
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Background: I have an older sister who is very physically/emotionally/etc violent to me and my twin sister, and always has been. Growing up, she would take food from the kitchen and hide it so we couldn't eat it and if there was anything "good" in the house, she would binge on it so we wouldn't get any (btw she's always been obese as well, most likely due to this emotional eating). She still does it to this day. Whenever she comes to stay at my family's house, she'll control the shopping list and take anything/throw something away so we don't get it.
This has severely disordered my eating because my whole life I've had to be in the mindset of "if I don't eat this now, it'll be gone and I won't have it again/I will get punished so I might as well enjoy it/ I never get this so I want it all." Even when she's out of the house or when I'm conscious that I am only eating because of this fact, I can't help myself.
I always read things that are like "skinny people are skinny because they only eat when they need to and they know it'll be there in the future so they don't need to binge."
I really need some advice on how to rewire my brain to think this way.
[Rant/Rave] Do I fast and fail again or just give myself a pass for a few days and try to be normal?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 9 18:47:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mb67i/do_i_fast_and_fail_again_or_just_give_myself_a/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or discussion.
I made it four days into my last fast and binged because I was miserable. After some thinking I have come to the conclusion long fasts seem to be bound to fail. I can manage maybe 3 days before I get really depressed and grumpy and weak and all the other negatives.
I've been exploring the idea of trying to restrict to a reasonable degree somewhere between 800 and 1500 calories which seems like a big range but leaves room for flexibility.
If I could manage restriction it could help my mood and overall outlook and energy and I would reach my goals eventually they would just take long.
My TDEE is about 2500 maybe a little less but I am pretty active if I have a thousand calorie deficit each day that equals 7000 a week or two pounds a week. Sure it's take longer and maybe I could fast or each less some times but allow some flexibility.
I just feel like I'm miserable right now and I also don't want to be so distracted by my ED when I go on my trip in two days I want to spend time with my SO and she expects me to cook for her because I cook delicious vegan food.
I really want vegan ice cream and maybe just maybe I could work it into my days if I did just do reasonable amounts that are full pints at a time.
I feel like if I try and just be more flexible it'd be better and more sustainable than the all or nothing method I've been doing for months...
Just my thoughts today. My binge was 3500 calorie last night but between today and yesterday I've walked and worked off at least probably 1000 past my TDEE...
Willow
is anyone here transsexual (ftm)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 18:43:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mb5ge/is_anyone_here_transsexual_ftm/
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[deleted]
how to lose thigh weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 17:49:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mavf8/how_to_lose_thigh_weight/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Better than Quest bars. 210 calories. Basically a giant KitKat bar. I've been eating just these for lunch no problem.
/u/intothexwest [🌸 5"4 | CW: 128 | GW: 120]
Created: Sun Jul 9 17:40:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6matno/better_than_quest_bars_210_calories_basically_a/
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https://store.bbcomcdn.com/images/store/skuimage/sku_BN006/image_skuBN006_largeImage_X_450_white.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Messed up my fast and I'm feeling very guilty
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 17:24:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6maqpi/messed_up_my_fast_and_im_feeling_very_guilty/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I thought I was doing well, but the scale says otherwise
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 67kg | 24.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 17:01:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mamct/i_thought_i_was_doing_well_but_the_scale_says/
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I've been trying this new thing where I don't act as crazy as I feel when it comes to food, and I thought that bingeing/purging less and cutting down on junk food would help me lose weight, but so far I've gained. I can't believe I actually looked in the mirror and thought that I'd lost weight.
plans for today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 17:01:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mam95/plans_for_today/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Failing
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 16:54:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6mal11/failing/
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Today was supposed to be a day of rest but really it's been a b/p fest. 3 times, which luckily for me isn't the worst I've ever done, but for the last two months I've been an absolute shit show. I feel terrible and messy and out of control.
Tomorrow I have to hop back on the recovery train somehow. I'm constantly terrified that I will balloon back to where I was, even knowing that will take time and eating over maintenance. My plan is to continue to organize the new digs so maybe I'll get too busy to give af about food and have less than maintenance.
I just need to maintain my weight for a couple of weeks which is unbearably easy for me. I just hate this bullshit cycle I'm in.
[Rant/Rave] So I guess I have anemia
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Sun Jul 9 16:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6majo7/so_i_guess_i_have_anemia/
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Woke up today and felt fatigue like no other. I haven't eaten barely more than 100 calories a day for a couple of weeks. It hurts to sit and every time I get up I want to collapse into a never ending slumber. I finally had some veggies and feel a little bit better. Having energy these days is as rare as rain is in a desert.
[Rant/Rave] Shit friend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 16:43:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6maiou/shit_friend/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Empty Again
/u/theloneravioli
Created: Sun Jul 9 16:12:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6macor/rant_empty_again/
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I panicked because I "binged" on around 300cal. My total for the day would have been somewhere in the 400's and I just. Couldn't. Take it. So I emptied myself like the garbage can that I am. I could have just said no. I could have chewed some gum and dragged my fatass down the stairs to the free 24/7 gym included in my rent but that's not as much fucking fun is it?
Why am I like this? Why am I proud of myself right now? And why do I enjoy this....😥
[Rant/Rave] When your planned meals fit your calories exactly 👌
/u/Get-Closer [5'2 | 129 | 23.8 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 15:48:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ma7lh/when_your_planned_meals_fit_your_calories_exactly/
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https://imgur.com/prWbpSe
[Rant/Rave] B/p free for 7 days!
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 15:46:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ma75s/bp_free_for_7_days/
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Just wanted to share this small victory with someone...anyone really!
Tbh, I looked at the calendar and thought, "Only 7 days? It's only been 7 days?" It felt like forever. I thought I was totally cured/recovered, whatever. But it has only been 7 days since my 3 week long b/p cycle. It feels a lot longer, but oh well. Better than no days.
Joined a gym too (hella expensive one) so I'm eating around 1000 and working out for 1+hours.
Still feeling like a bloated bag of flesh with the post-b/p recovering. Does anyone have an idea how long the bloating/puffiness/reflux lasts usually? I'm no stranger to relapsing, but it's been my longest binge cycle for a few months and I guess I 'forgot' what it's like to recover from it.
Any tips appreciated! I hear chewing gum helps with the puffy face.
**EDIT: Thanks for all the nice comments and upvotes :') The great support and awesome people here are why I love this sub!**
[Thinspo] Male thinspo
/u/Onthedownlowplz [5'8"|50.6kg|16.15|M19]
Created: Sun Jul 9 15:39:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ma5sk/male_thinspo/
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https://i.imgur.com/16hkpYg.jpg
New here! Advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 15:37:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ma5c4/new_here_advice/
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[removed]
[Other] New to Here
/u/outerspacee
Created: Sun Jul 9 15:11:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ma0a3/new_to_here/
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Hello, I'm Joan and I've got disordered eating, nothing diagnosed yet, but I feel like this is one community that will actually understand what I'm going through and I thought I could make some pals here :) hope everyone has a good day
[Other] went out for milk and eggs....oops?
/u/lostinagrocerystore [5'2" | 105 | 19.9 | -50 | GW: 95]
Created: Sun Jul 9 15:07:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9zfu/went_out_for_milk_and_eggsoops/
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https://i.redd.it/ofzkkueptm8z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My brain is a real fucking asshole
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Sun Jul 9 14:31:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9rmw/my_brain_is_a_real_fucking_asshole/
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I swear I only ever binge eat things I don't even like? Like I have so many delicious things in my fridge/freezer/pantry that are going to go bad if I don't eat them but I avoid them. Wouldn't it make more sense to binge eat 300 calories worth of my favorite prepackaged indian food that I've been dreaming about for days instead of 300 calories worth of fucking cool whip lite? I don't even have a fucking sweet tooth! All I want is some curry but noooo my brain says EAT THE COOL WHIP
[Rant/Rave] Relapse at 29 days goddamn it
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 108lbs | GW: 98lbs | ✨]
Created: Sun Jul 9 14:20:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9pfw/relapse_at_29_days_goddamn_it/
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I've been "recovering" for 29 days and relapsed again. Honestly I probably relapsed about four days ago but have been "too busy to eat" but am binging now.
Found out the dog I rescued has late stage heart failure and is going to die. Also, I'm allergic to dogs. Feeling like shit but hey welcome back right? Gonna restrict like a motherfucker this week. I can't take it. I also got a concussion from a sports injury, so this week absolutely blows.
there is just so much shit in my life and whenever things go south I come back to this every. fucking. time.
[Rant/Rave] I'm at a breaking point
/u/imprettyhopeless [5'1 | 113 | 22.30 | -39 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 14:01:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9lgj/im_at_a_breaking_point/
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This summer has honestly been awful. Just in the past few weeks alone, I've had to deal with an extremely stressful move. My mom, who lives alone, was injured, and my sister is sick and I can't help either of them because we live in different cities. I don't have a job right now and I've yet to have any luck finding one. On top of all this, I've spent a small fortune over the past month trying to get rid of bed bugs (I swear I'm not a gross person, just grossly unlucky). I thought they were gone and it was done with but this morning I woke up with a bite.
The only thing that's kept me going through all of this has been losing weight, seeing the number go down, hitting goals, and having people commenting on my weight loss.
Today I hit 115. This was the goal I set for myself at my heaviest. It's not my UGW, but it's definitely close. I should be over the moon, riding high off the day long wave of confidence hitting a goal usually comes with. Instead I stood on the scale and just cried, because I now don't even feel joy in the one thing that was comforting me this summer.
I honestly don't know what to do. I don't usually binge but I've never been more tempted. Before my ED food was my comfort, and I have a whole load of junk food that was shoved to the back of my pantry sitting in a box on my floor from the move just calling my name.
I'm sorry for the long rambling but this community has always made me feel better, and any advice/support/whatever would be really appreciated.
Something's gotta give
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 13:30:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9erq/somethings_gotta_give/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] friend is coming over to smoke weed and eat junk food...
/u/cryfawn [5'6 | CW:47,8kg | GW:44kg | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 13:24:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9dgp/friend_is_coming_over_to_smoke_weed_and_eat_junk/
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i'm home alone for a few days so i thought i would take the opportunity to fast, and then a friend of mine asked if she could come over to smoke and eat. she has no idea about my ED and i get the worst munchies :( wish me luck guys....
[Discussion] can we talk about restricting and anxiety?
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 161 | gw 145 | -8]
Created: Sun Jul 9 13:23:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9df0/can_we_talk_about_restricting_and_anxiety/
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I've seen it said a lot that restriction *can* help with anxiety. Something about brain chemicals, I don't remember what. That always seemed too good to be true to me, but I took it in as gospel because that belief serves a purpose. Believing that a binge is going to lead to high anxiety is actually a pretty good deterrent for me.
So anyway, I'd been restricting well for maybe 10 days. Somewhere between 600 and 1000 calories per day (which is great for me coming off a like year long binge phase) and actually started reaching out and making plans with friends again. I was feeling "light" physically and like emotionally as well. Then on friday I went to a ramen place with my bf. I didn't even binge, but I ate most of my bowl of ramen and an egg roll. I didn't immediately feel shitty about it, just had the thoughts of "okay well I'm not gonna lose today but this won't mess everything up and I can get back to normal tomorrow." Then yesterday came, and it was the most emotionally fucked up I've felt in a while. Intrusive suicidal thoughts, 2 panic attacks one of which somehow seemed to last like 90 minutes. And the panic attacks seemed to come out of nowhere which never happens to me - there is always a trigger.
So I guess I don't really know what my point with this was, other than I'm kind of blown away by how directly me eating extra calories one day seemed to lead directly into extremely heightened anxiety. And not even like ED "I ate too much and I hate myself" anxiety but just a very physical reaction. Idk I'm blown away.
Anyone have thoughts or experience with this? I'd love to hear from others!
[Discussion] To all the short sedentary people out there, what calories do you maintain on and what are the most you can eat while still losing weight? As a 5'2 gal, my disordered brain is convinced I'll gain if I eat over 800.
/u/hbastion [5'2 | 20.08 BMI (new) | GW: 18.76.]
Created: Sun Jul 9 13:14:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m9bg2/to_all_the_short_sedentary_people_out_there_what/
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I'm starting to realize that 90% of my binges nowadays are because if my intake ever exceeds the 700-800 range, I'm convinced that I'll either gain from that or maintain (and when I'm still hungry, maintaining for the day just doesn't seem worth it.. hence, I binge). If I ever go past 1000, I just enter 'fuck it' mode and typically eat 4000+ more calories because "I'm going to gain anyways."
For example, today I messed up and ended up at 1250 for the day. I'm 5'2, didn't exercise today, and am now trying to convince myself that it's better I stick with 1250 opposed to repeating yesterday's intake of ~6000 (sigh). But now the pizza places are calling my name...
If you're short and sedentary (or at least very lightly active), what calories do you maintain on? What's the most calories you can eat while still losing weight?
[Rant/Rave] I didn't gain any weight on my vacation!
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 13:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m98zc/i_didnt_gain_any_weight_on_my_vacation/
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I actually lost about a half a pound. Which isn't nearly enough over an entire week, but I'm still just so relieved and happy that I didn't gain. I even managed to eat ice cream more than once while I was there!
The whole experience makes me hopeful that maybe increasing my calories to a healthier level won't make me gain hundreds of pounds instantly the way I worry it will.
[Tip] Amazon is going to be offering 25% off Halo Top for Prime Day!
/u/antimeridian [5'5" | BMI 16.97 | doing my best 🌻]
Created: Sun Jul 9 12:54:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m97a0/amazon_is_going_to_be_offering_25_off_halo_top/
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It's apparently only in ~30 select cities~ but still 🙌🏼
[Tip] So apparently Amazon is going to be offering 25% off Halo Top for Prime Day!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 12:53:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m972j/so_apparently_amazon_is_going_to_be_offering_25/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Struggling with being unemployed and bored
/u/DeadandPrettyUs
Created: Sun Jul 9 12:28:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m91v8/struggling_with_being_unemployed_and_bored/
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I don't have a problem not eating all day, in fact I feel like I have perfected the art of intermittent fasting. The problem arises when around 3pm I get bored and I feel like I want to drink or smoke pot to make the day go by faster. When I was working I got home at 7 and went to bed at 9:30 so this was less of an issue, but I just looked in my trash can and discovered a bag of popcorn I don't remember eating. I'm mortifed. Why am I like this. I can only apply to jobs and watch Star Trek so much before the boredom sets in along with my lack of control.
Just ugh you guys.
[Other] Saw a post about people encouraging their ED, thought I'd share my story (long)
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 9 12:23:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m90to/saw_a_post_about_people_encouraging_their_ed/
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I saw a post about a guy actively shaming someone on their weight. This started as a comment but it might serve better as a post on its own. I think I understand in a way even though my situation was a bit different. My grandmother would critique my eating habits when I was a young teen. I was grossly overweight so she was justly worried about me. She'd give me little tips like "smile between bites" and she herself ate like a bird (my dad's words). She smoked everyday, ate little, and weighed 88lbs at the time of her death when I was 16.
She died around the same time I lost a cousin that I looked up to after overdosing and it really made me worse. I ate to forget it all and was able to ignore what I was doing to myself until I was obese at 185 lbs. I was 20. I've since been able to accept her death and the death of my cousin and have lost weight.
At least, I thought I was over it. Her concerns over my eating, her little "rules" for mealtime, even her smoking habits have become internalized and I feel like I can't shake the feeling that she died thinking I was a disappointment. I'll admit that this is hard for me to type but I figured I'd share it with you guys since I can't tell anyone else, not even fiancé. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. ❤️
[Help] What do you eat to keep meds down?
/u/CowOffTheFarm [65" | 157 | 26.4 | - | F | GW 120]
Created: Sun Jul 9 11:58:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8vf6/what_do_you_eat_to_keep_meds_down/
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If I take any type of pill or drink coffee without food it makes me queasy and gross feeling. The problem is when I give myself permission to eat I overdo it. Dense foods and carbs are out of the question because they'll trigger binges.
What can I eat that's under 100 calories? What's the smallest amount of raw fruit and veggies I can get away with?
Thanks for your help lovelies <3
[Thinspo] Legs 4 days
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Sun Jul 9 11:50:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8tno/legs_4_days/
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http://i.imgur.com/mmp9aPh.jpg
[Humor] Hungry Blues Songs
/u/CinderellaPantyDrop [5'2" | 123 | -18 | muscles mcgee]
Created: Sun Jul 9 11:46:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8swl/hungry_blues_songs/
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I listen to KEXP.org when I'm working and right now they're playing a set of blues songs about food:
"Chicken a la Blues" by Cousin Joe
"Eatin' with the Boogie" and "Baked Beans and a Bottle of Beer" by Slim Gaillard
"Red Beans and Rice" by Bob Mitchell
"Sopping Molasses" by Jesse Powell
I had no idea there were so many hungry blues songs, but I'm finding them oddly comforting right now, lol.
[Thinspo] Sorority girl thinspo album
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Sun Jul 9 11:42:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8s1c/sorority_girl_thinspo_album/
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http://imgur.com/a/CtwZr
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit, has anybody here done the salt water flush? I need somebody to commiserate with.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 11:34:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8q8u/holy_shit_has_anybody_here_done_the_salt_water/
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[deleted]
[Other] Carrots and mustard question
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Sun Jul 9 11:07:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8khx/carrots_and_mustard_question/
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So I be heard a lot about carrots and mustard and want to try it but I was wondering if you use like raw carrots or cooked? And if so how do you cook them?
[Rant/Rave] It was going so well
/u/throwawayshppp
Created: Sun Jul 9 10:54:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8hrr/it_was_going_so_well/
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I'm on holiday with my family so my usual goal calorie intake is 1200. Breakfast and lunch my total was about 300cal. BAM. During dinner I binged like three 700cal sausages. I'm a vegetarian so I fucked up in more than one way. Right now I'm feeling pretty impressed with myself but I know I'll regret it in half an hour. I can already feel myself starting to be sick.
[Other] Something's gotta give. (posting for accountability)
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 99.4| BMI:19.4 l GW 90| -45 l]
Created: Sun Jul 9 10:53:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8hmr/somethings_gotta_give_posting_for_accountability/
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[removed]
[Help] It's about my mother.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 10:19:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8aos/its_about_my_mother/
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[deleted]
[Goal] HS reunion update...
/u/littlebirdbones [5'4" | 150.4 | 25.8 | not enough | F | GW: 110]
Created: Sun Jul 9 09:56:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m8617/hs_reunion_update/
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Ok you guys inspired me. I was 150.2 or .4 I think when I posted before about having to lose for my 10 year. Been restricting and working a ton of long, physical days, pretty much been intermittent fasting but without a plan really. this morning I was 145.8. I feel like I'm over the moon I finally broke through my dumb plateau, and thank you for the encouragement! I'm still not sure I can lose the other 10 pounds in 20 days... if I do it will just be water weight. Which I guess is ok. I'm still going to try.
Love you guys. Knowing I've got this lovely group of individuals who get me relieves some of my anxiety.. since not many people know about my issues in real life. Let's just pray I don't have to go to the doctor anytime soon or she'll pull my vyvanse for losing weight.
Boyfriend is out of town til Tuesday... I'm moving in a week, full schedule of clients coming up here. I'm almost excited to not even have time to eat in the foreseeable future. One less thing to worry about... I guess.
[Rant/Rave] Most of my issues surrounding my weight are caused by a person and not just my ED...? Long ass post btw
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 09:01:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m7v9d/most_of_my_issues_surrounding_my_weight_are/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I hate math unless it has to do with my ED.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 9 07:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m7k1q/i_hate_math_unless_it_has_to_do_with_my_ed/
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On mobile flair as rant or rave.
So after 4 days fasting I binged last night but I was accountable and logged everything in my phone's Loseit app.
The total came out to be about 3500 calories.
I logged the walking I did before work and after work which totalled about 1000 calories all said and done...i walked almost 10 miles according to my phone's pedometer.
I honestly don't know how accurate it could be but trying to see if any of my numbers make sense.
According to some site with rabbit in the name my TDEE would be about 2500 to 2600 which seems kind of high I feel like.
If I burn that much just in a work day maybe the my walking would have been extra I feel like. I think people burn like 80 to 100 calories just standing up. So my work would be 700 to 800 calories above my BMR which is 1800
So there's the 2500 plus the 1000 I burned walking before and after work. So yesterday I could have been at maintainence with my binge.
According to lower town with a TDEE of 2200 daily and eating 800 to 1000 calories a day I could lose 3 to 5 pounds a week and still meet my goal before my birthday or thanksgiving...
I really want to be tiny by the holidays just to spite my obese relatives also to continue the facade that my veganism makes me healthy.
I've been trying to lose 50 to 70 pounds all year but stress and binging has gotten the best of me. I may try intermittent fasting and just do one or days on and one day of 800 to 1000 calories which would make my average intake about 350 to 400 if the days I eat are combined with those I don't
That would give me a greater deficit and potentially ward off binging
Here's is the part that gets me though on losertown it shows how your TDEE changes as your weight goes down. Mine is apparently still about 2000 even once I get to underweight. I don't get it. I could potentially maintain being a low weight on 2000 calories a day?
If ive fucked up my logic someone correct me. Thanks.
Willow.
[Humor] That feel when you catch yourself wondering if your vape juice has a significant caloric intake...
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Sun Jul 9 07:56:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m7jwo/that_feel_when_you_catch_yourself_wondering_if/
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... immediately after deciding to slow down on restriction for a bit because of troubling symptoms 😅 -puts thoughts on shelf-
Edit: I'm a wee bit intoxicated and it's my bedtime shhh grammar doesn't exist
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 09, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 9 06:11:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m74hf/daily_food_diary_july_09_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 09, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 9 06:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m74dt/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
---
Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Discussion] Ew I'm gross. In many different ways. Just. Ew. Lik if u relate. ;-;
/u/Smooth_N_Groove
Created: Sun Jul 9 05:59:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m72xa/ew_im_gross_in_many_different_ways_just_ew_lik_if/
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[removed]
[Help] Store bought low cal snacks?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 05:22:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6yc8/store_bought_low_cal_snacks/
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[deleted]
[Tip] I've been eating this when restricting before heavy drinking, and it's perfect. Found it at costco's.
/u/Arkhamgel [5'8| | 143 | 15 | Male]
Created: Sun Jul 9 04:59:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6vmc/ive_been_eating_this_when_restricting_before/
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https://i.redd.it/lfwg59yxsj8z.png
[Intro] I am allowed a social life once I hit the 90's (pounds)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 9 03:35:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6moa/i_am_allowed_a_social_life_once_i_hit_the_90s/
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[deleted]
[Tip] All Day Breakfast Recipe!
/u/CouldNotLoadUsername [13|F|Prof-Diagnosed|AN]
Created: Sun Jul 9 03:13:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6kbq/all_day_breakfast_recipe/
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This recipe isn't your normal all day breakfast, a breakfast you can eat at any time, but instead a breakfast that'll last you a fucking long time! (And it's full of nutrients and that shit). I tried it this morning and FUCK it's so good. I decided to make it since none of the smoothie recipes I found online was free of yogurt and bananas, two things I swore myself to not eat again. This smoothie could probably also be a milkshake with a little tweaking but it's taste and texture is so good and it's super super filling.
STRAWBERRY SMOOTHIE (60 calories):
-200ml unsweetened almond milk (using skimmed cows milk would make it a lot creamier though)
-80g strawberries
-5 pieces of ice
-sweetener of choice (I used 2 sucralose sweetener tablets since that's all I have access to, tablets still work!)
1. Blend the strawberries, milk and sweetener together until it's kind of paste-like
2. Add the ice and blend again until there are no ice bits left.
*this drink is super filling for me but I'm not sure if you guys will find it filling or not*
VANILLA MILKSHAKE (46 calories):
(I haven't tried this recipe but I think my recipe would work)
-200ml almond milk
-1 tsp vanilla essence
-3 pieces of ice
-Sweetener of choice
1. Add the essence, sweetener and the milk into a blender and blend for a few seconds until the liquids are mixed
2. Add the ice and then taste the flavour and texture, add more ice to make it thicker, add more vanilla essence for flavour and add more sweetener for sweetness.
! I don't have any halo top or anything but if you added vanilla halo too I reckon it'd taste so so amazing !
[Other] What Are Some Other Obsessive Behaviors You May Have? Possible Trigger Warning!
/u/Flesh_Daddy_
Created: Sun Jul 9 02:38:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6gk6/what_are_some_other_obsessive_behaviors_you_may/
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Please flair as [Question] since I'm on mobile. Thank you!
For me, I have trichotillomania. I pluck my eyebrows, the hair on my scalp, and eyelashes. I also pick at the skin on my face and have scars for days because I can't stop. A funny one (kinda) would probably be constant flossing. If I am sitting, I'm flossing my teeth. If I stand in one spot for too long, I have to floss. My gums will bleed randomly even when I'm not flossing because I've damaged them so much.
So my question is, what are some of your other obsessive behaviors aside from your ED?
I'm sorry if this is an inappropriate question or triggering. I just wanted to know if I'm alone in this or if some people have similar stories.
[Rant/Rave] i won't admit to myself that I have an eating disorder...
/u/mikey-way [2 scared 2 weigh myself wooo]
Created: Sun Jul 9 02:07:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6dc3/i_wont_admit_to_myself_that_i_have_an_eating/
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but it's 4 am and I just snuck into the basement to do jumping jacks.
I haven't eaten in 28 hours. It's never been this easy to fast before. before this, I'd just finished a 62 hour fast (finished with.. not quite a binge, but definitely over 1k calories, sigh).
on that note... anyone have any quiet workout ideas for me? I've done so many push ups, sit ups, crunches and squats lately I don't know what to do. although I just did 50 sit-ups in a row & im pretty fuckin impressed at myself, i'll say.
And I fucked up. I hate myself and my lack of control.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 9 01:40:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6adg/and_i_fucked_up_i_hate_myself_and_my_lack_of/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
I just binged after fasting four full days. 2700 calories according to my math may be more. I want to believe maybe my maintainence is above 2500 calories maybe since I am on my feet all day at work cooking and walking four miles before my shift maybe can negate this binge but I feel like I'm going to put on 5 or 10 pounds after fasting then eating a ton.
I don't know what my maintainence is or TDEE all calculators seem wrong. I feel filled with shame and the worst part is I can't take laxatives or purge or I will make my stomach bleed again because that's why I was anemic before.
Fuck. I guess I start again tomorrow but I also want to just binge tomorrow because how can this be worse? I didn't even eat any food I enjoyed...i could have bought my vegsn ice cream and had that and only been at 600 calories instead ate stupid bland boring foods.
I hate myself and feel ashamed and disgusted.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Can I just rant for a minute about online calculators?
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Sun Jul 9 01:34:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m69pg/can_i_just_rant_for_a_minute_about_online/
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So i think like most anyone I get curious about things and want to play around with my numbers. The thing I can't freaking stand though is nearly all of the various online calculators want to try to police the answers it gives!! Like I didn't come here for permission I just need a little math done is all!!! So tired of getting those "this is not healthy" or "invalid entry" messages.
I know I did find one online a while back that didn't do this and I wish I knew where that thing is hiding out at on the internet!! I've filled out like 8 of these things in the last half hour and I'm sorry but it's just frustrating!!!
[Rant/Rave] My parents just dropped off an entire pizza and a rotisserie chicken at my house...
/u/ImMissBrightside
Created: Sun Jul 9 00:28:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m6204/my_parents_just_dropped_off_an_entire_pizza_and_a/
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My parents told me that they'd be going to the Costco near my place and said they could pick up some stuff for me. I asked if they could just pick up some sparkling water, next thing I know they're in my house sticking a chicken in my fridge because I "never have any food." I appreciate them doing this for me...but I wish they didn't! I told them that they should take it back for them, but they apparently already had a pizza in their car. I don't know how I could have finished even one of these by myself before it went bad, let alone both.
I don't want to sound ungrateful to them, but I just wish they hadn't given me so much good tasting unhealthy food to eat all by myself
Just went down a full pound this morning, too...
[Rant/Rave] I need to be distracted. 96 hours in and my will in weak.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sun Jul 9 00:19:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m60xh/i_need_to_be_distracted_96_hours_in_and_my_will/
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On mobile flair as help or rant or rave.
It was a really stressful day at work see my previous post about the new guy being offensive and making work harder. I have some cash from tips so I could have bought binge food but I talked my coworker into giving me lift home so I wouldn't be tempted walking by the grocery store.
I am scares to eat and break my fast I am going to budget for a couple drinks tomorrow night may be and Monday night but will walk more so they don't impact my fast and I can stay under 500 calories drinking only two or three drinks.
I don't have anything I could eat at home. I guess I do but I feel like I need to abstain I don't deserve to eat. Also with others in the house I don't feel safe. If I get caught I'll be ashamed. I eat in secret. I need to fast to make up for my binge days when I was in the hospital
The dry cereal is calling my name it's generic cheerios for fuck sake and I don't have any vegan non dairy milks. There's a lot of non vegan things but I won't eat them. There's also cracks and hummus. All the food I could eat is bland and boring. I don't want fuck up my fast eating stuff I won't even enjoy.
Tell my about your day.
Give me songs to add to my growing play list.
Tell me something interesting about you.
Just help me get out of my head. I feel weak willed.
I can't quit now. It's been 4 days and I know I can keep going.
Edit: and I binged on 2700 calories and want to die now. My stomach is in so much pain. I made it four days and ruined it all in an hour...i want to cry and purge or take laxatives but I'm scared I'll make my stomach bleed again. I want to believe maybe walking 4 miles and being on my feet for 8 or 9 hours working plus whatever my maintainence is burned 2700 calories but I'm probably going to gain back all I lost from fasting..kill me...
[Discussion] Get out your throwaways! Where have you been to treatment?
/u/EDThrownAway
Created: Sat Jul 8 23:54:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5xlw/get_out_your_throwaways_where_have_you_been_to/
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I went to treatment at Center for Change in Utah. Anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Yeah... I'm back
/u/Saltycook
Created: Sat Jul 8 23:40:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5vx0/yeah_im_back/
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So it's been 8 months and 18 pounds gained. Here's what happened: 1) hated my job and "ate like a campground raccoon" (Kinane) over the winter. 2) Went to Spain 10# thicker than anticipated and had an amazing troop with amazing food gained another 10#. Moved out, couch surfed, relocated gained 5# then lost 7# due to habits you all are aware of but I'm 18# thicker than when I last posted this past summer. Goddammit. My best friend from high school is getting married late September and I want been down to a BMI of 20 by then. I have 76 days to lose 22#. Wish me luck all.
[Rant/Rave] Almost there
/u/midnight-artemis
Created: Sat Jul 8 23:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5v5w/almost_there/
---
I went shopping for a dress that I'm going to wear for my cousins wedding in August and I managed to fit into a size 2/4!! Around a year ago I was a size 12 going towards a size 14 and now I can't believe I can fit into a size 2. Hopefully I'll be down to a size 0 by the end of the year.
Almost there
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 23:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5tka/almost_there/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Depression makes me gain weight
/u/Spacekittyyyyy
Created: Sat Jul 8 23:16:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5sfh/depression_makes_me_gain_weight/
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I never knew how much depression affects my weight. I was never that person who sleeps all day and can't get out of bed due to depression until last year. This problem hit me really hard this whole week. I slowly started losing motivation and all I wanted to do this week was forget everything and sleep all day. Like I would wake up and purposefully make myself go back to sleep so that I don't need to feel depressed. Today was one of the worst days. All I did was sleep, wake up and stuff food in my mouth (without even caring about what I was eating or my physical health or anything for that matter), sleep some more and play games on my bed all day. Zero motivation for weight loss or anything. Getting out of depression is difficult, but I know that I can try a little harder to get myself out of bed next time. I can even start now with the way I'm thinking. Gonna go back to eating "properly" (although my way of eating isn't necessarily considered "proper") and exercising tomorrow again.
[Discussion] How do naturally thin people do it?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 85]
Created: Sat Jul 8 22:29:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5lqc/how_do_naturally_thin_people_do_it/
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I have generally always been on the "thinner" side of things but I am also very weight-conscious. Do you guys have friends who seem naturally thin? I've done a lot of research and metabolism doesn't vary that much. So I wonder if you have noticed that naturally slim people do that keeps them smaller (but not disordered?)? Any observations?
[Rant/Rave] I need to listen
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 21:57:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5gtb/i_need_to_listen/
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The solution my team gave me for me lying about all my fuck ups was to slow down on physical activity. I haven't gone to the gym in forever, but moving and being a crew member for a show is far from sedentary. So on top of me restricting just as fucking hard and purging the rest, I'm active as fuck and driving in 100 degree weather with no A/C.
Since none of this impacted me in the past, I figured I could just keep moving. Even getting my period won't stop me, screamed my inner perfectionist.
Wrong. I got winded climbing a ladder. By the time I got home I could barely get up the stairs to my apartment, and ended up having to go back out to my car to get my phone, scared I'd pass out. I didn't purge today, and have had 940 calories... more than usual... and chugged at least 3 20 oz bottles of Powerade zero with no relief.
Next weekend I'm busy my whole show day, and down a person. I have to ask for help but I'm afraid that's admitting weakness. I feel like I've done that once I can't do that again. I feel like such a fucking failure.
On the plus side, I actually felt like I looked cute tonight, so there's that.
[Other] Does anybody know where I could read "How to Disappear Completely" by Kelsey Osgood online?
/u/EDProThrowaway
Created: Sat Jul 8 21:55:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5glc/does_anybody_know_where_i_could_read_how_to/
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I know there were some Google docs of ED books floating around here a while back. Just curious if anyone has access to this book in particular.
[Thinspo] She's so slim and dainty
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 117 | 19.5 | UGW 100 | 20F | 🍑: moodles]
Created: Sat Jul 8 21:55:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5gkd/shes_so_slim_and_dainty/
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https://i.redd.it/km8icthkph8z.jpg
[Intro] I finally felt ok with my body this morning
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 21:54:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5g9e/i_finally_felt_ok_with_my_body_this_morning/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Competitiveness with girls IRL who are losing weight (rant)
/u/lampshade59
Created: Sat Jul 8 21:48:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5ffd/competitiveness_with_girls_irl_who_are_losing/
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Edit: **yes I'm a bitch & have these intrusive thoughts constantly yolo**.
Edit 2: #2, who sent me photos of her eating shitty fatty food all day, has now sent me a snap of her at the gym. CongrGz you can't outrun your fork though..
I know this is petty as fuck but I'm a really competitive person (aren't most people with ED's? Lol) I currently know 3 people who are "on a health kick" or dieting. It drives me crazy but it's also my motivator to restrict further, exercise more. Out of the 3 I've lost the most weight but still I find it infuriating. I find them so triggering. I kind of wish people didn't talk about their fucking weight & diets on social media unless they were actually successful because I'm sick of getting all this anxiety when someone posts how much they've lost only to watch them gain it all back anyway.
Descriptions below because I'm an asshole lol.
Player #1: Bitch I knew in high school. Always going through fad diets, has done the whole vegan/vegetarian/ovo-vegetarian/healthy eating thing. Brags about her 7kg weight loss on Instagram but looks the same. Uploads "healthy" meals that are drowned in dressing, avocado, fried fish etc.
Currently on a holiday in South America and I'm watching her unravel on Instagram with alcohol, churros, South American foods full of processed meats. Watching her fail makes me want to restrict even more. We used to always be competitive in school with grades etc so this is just another thing I "need to win". Unfortunately for her I don't actually post anything to do with food/weight loss on my Instagram so she has no idea I'm losing and have surpassed her weight loss by almost twice the amount in the same amount of time (her = 7kg lost, me = 13.6kg), otherwise I'm sure she would up her game and stop bingeing on her holiday.
Player #2: ignores anything to do with calories, constantly goes on "health kicks" and gains back minuscule amount of weight lost. Struggles to lose weight and doesn't understand it's because she doesn't count calories. Does huge amounts of meal preps with "healthy pasta and chicken", "healthy fried rice", "healthy creamy potato soup". Doesn't understand CALORIES IN CALORIES OUT. Thinks going for a hike every weekend will negate the thousands of calories she consumes in food and drink. Asks for my advice on weight loss (calorie counting...) but continues to ignore. Still find her triggering because she posts sooo much about food and exercise.
Player #3: my good friend. Once lost a very significant amount of weight due to drugs. Has gained it all back. Drinks way too much alcohol (beer) and has KFC almost every day. Constantly trying to make me drink alcohol & get junk food with her, threatens our friendship when I refuse. Not really triggering but definitely a road block...
Fuck I being so competitive sometimes aargh.
[Help] Skinnygossip.com ??
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 140.6 | 20.4 | GW2 145 | GW3 139]
Created: Sat Jul 8 21:42:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5ed5/skinnygossipcom/
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Anyone a member of the site? I want to join, but its so strict and I really don't want to provide pictures of my face or Facebook.... I try to keep all my ed stuff very anonymous. Are there any benefits to being a member?
[Rant/Rave] I'm going out with my BF & his coworkers tonight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 21:31:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m5cqg/im_going_out_with_my_bf_his_coworkers_tonight/
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[deleted]
[Help] High restriction?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 20:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4yae/high_restriction/
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[removed]
Hair thinning when eating 500 cal?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 19:47:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4vxy/hair_thinning_when_eating_500_cal/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Sat Jul 8 19:29:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4su4/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/y098srqfzg8z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Why does alcohol have so many calories?!
/u/posyposer
Created: Sat Jul 8 19:02:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4oe5/why_does_alcohol_have_so_many_calories/
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I get SO FRUSTRATED when I go out at night with my friends and they all have so many drinks and I can't help but hate myself knowing how many calories are in each shot!! I want to get on the same level as them but I don't want to not eat for days just to make myself feel okay. ESPECIALLY now that it's summer and everyone wants to drink at the beach. No way can I make myself do it! Do you guys have any low calorie drink ideas?
[Discussion] DAR turn into a raging bitch when they fast or low restrict?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 18:47:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4ltg/dar_turn_into_a_raging_bitch_when_they_fast_or/
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On mobile flair as rant or discussion.
I have been pushing myself really hard at work and fasting and no one seems sensitive to the fact that I'm still anemic and only a little over a week out of the hospital.
I am training a new person at work who refuses to use the right pronouns and refers to me as chief, boss, brother, man, patty (a shortening of my actual name not the one I go by), pat, big guy, young man.
I want to rip his fucking head off it bugs me a ton. He's also not catching on very quick. I feel like I'm extra bitch cause I won't let myself eat.
When I binge I feel euphoric briefly then like shit and heavy and bloated and gross. Binging is like doing drugs. When I fast though I just feel like I have a short fuse. I make jokes to mask the pain and misery but I'm actually resentful of everyone who's not fucked up like me. People who can be skinny and eat normal.
Here's to 91 hours now. Going til Tuesday night at least hopefully. I am still broke and probably won't go home except to grab changes of clothes my household is not conducive to how I feel right now.
I need to be alone and I am already am. I feel alone and so fucking miserable.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] I want to be done.
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Sat Jul 8 18:44:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4l87/i_want_to_be_done/
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I binged twice today and purged both times. The second time just knocked the shit out of me. I'm tired and sad and tmi my shirt has spit and some vomit on it and I'm just ready to be done with this. I've been fighting disordered eating for so so so long. I've had times where I was small, times where I was bigger. And it never lasts, either of them. I'm just tugged between two extremes so constantly.
The only time I've ever been truly healthy was when I was just eating clean, but I'm so afraid. What if I slip? What if I get fatter? I have almost a 200 day streak on MyFitnessPal and zero sense of actual hunger cues. I can drink my body weight in Coke Zero and eat it in junk food. I just want to be able to wake up and not think about it. I have a dentist appointment in three days and I'm just bracing myself for the cavities. Will it be four, like the last time? I want to not think about food and how I look all damn day long.
It's hard when food is your addiction because abstinence isn't even an option.
I'm sad for myself. I'm angry at all the people that have triggered me. And I'm so tired guys.
[Other] My lunch today...cause I totally don't have any problems. (On mobile please flair)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 18:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4kea/my_lunch_todaycause_i_totally_dont_have_any/
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https://imgur.com/Q7w4dEg
[Rant/Rave] I don't belong anywhere
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 18:34:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4jnu/i_dont_belong_anywhere/
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[deleted]
[Humor] My boyfriend hid the scale
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 18:24:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4hrh/my_boyfriend_hid_the_scale/
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Like that's going to stop me from obsessing over my weight. I love him so much but I'm also irritated. I know I'll find it. I'm the finder of things in this household. But I respect him enough to wait until he's not around 😆
What he doesn't know can't hurt him.
[Humor] When midnight hits and you turn into a ravenous monster
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Sat Jul 8 18:12:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4fkp/when_midnight_hits_and_you_turn_into_a_ravenous/
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http://i.imgur.com/1RkUomd.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a brat for posting this, but I'm worried about my mother.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 17:56:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m4cor/i_feel_like_a_brat_for_posting_this_but_im/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Send good vibes. 90 hours in and I'm losing in.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 17:39:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m49pz/send_good_vibes_90_hours_in_and_im_losing_in/
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On mobile flair ad help or rant rave.
Fourth work day. I walked 5 miles before work knowing id be on my feet 8 hours and still have to walk two miles home after work. I work tomorrow and need to keep from binging on my days off before my trip. I'm terrified of eating right now. I don't want to come out of this fast but the mental cravings are ridiculous I want to just binge but that will just put me back to square one as if I never fasted at all.
Send positive vibes.
Willow
[Rant/Rave] Epic/Pathetic Binge
/u/ramargo [5'8" | huge | gelatinous brickhouse | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 17:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m48ve/epicpathetic_binge/
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After over a month B/P free and almost ten pounds lost, I relapsed this week and have been B/Ping all week. My stomach is puffy. My face is huge. I have a double chin again. Tonight was the worst binge of all. I don't even want to think about how much money I spent.
* carton of Ben&Jerry's
* pack of Reese's
* pack of M&M's
* 8 pop tarts
* 8 chip's ahoy cookies
* 2 big chocolate chip cookies
* McDonald's cheeseburger, large fry, and Oreo mcflurry
* whole box of Swiss rolls
* 15 regular Oreos, 15 golden Oreos
* 2 boxes of mac&cheese
* 3 packs of ramen
I've just been eating and puking for three hours. I feel disgusting. I feel exhausted. I don't know why I keep doing this. I need to stop this B/P relapse cycle. I need to get back to losing again.
[Rant/Rave] Betrayal
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 105 | 17.04|26 F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 17:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m47l6/betrayal/
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I was dating this guy for 3 months already. He is a nurse in a psyquiatric clinic, seemed understaning and caring. I told him that I harm my self, he saw my cuts and didnt freak out, he seemed supportive.
Everytime I was with him seemed that he really was into me, that he thought serious about us. I was falling for him, but with caution because my ex hurted me and left me in the worst way in my weakest moment. So I was careful and very attent to details.
I was suspicious because the moment he left comunication will be porr or non existent, not answering my text, avoiding plans the wekends. I am allergic to latex and he knows. He came to my place once, he pulled out a open box of latex condoms missing 1. As of course I didnt use it with him, I started to feel more and more suspicious and scared.
Yesterday, I asked him to join me and my friends to the feria. He answered "Oh well, actually I am going with someone else :p". Today I entered in paranoic mode, I created a fake profile in Tinder. Within 2 hours I found him and made match with him.
You think you found the nice guy for once, and he results that he is another player, playing with you.
I was never enough? I can't but blame me fot trust him.
I am on exams right now, so this shit came in a bad time. I just hope this doesn't make me binge again.
thake care you all beautiful beings.
[Other] My grocery haul today.
/u/attenuatingpixie [5'7 | CW 125 | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 17:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m47f1/my_grocery_haul_today/
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https://i.redd.it/wp60z9tjdg8z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I feel terrible :(
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 17:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m452i/i_feel_terrible/
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I can't restrict. I want to so badly, I've been watching SS vs. SS, looking at thinspo, etc. but I'm at my grandmas and she practically shoves food down my throat.
I said I wasnt hungry this morning (I genuinely wasnt) but she made me have toast anyway. At the beach she got us smoothies (me and my sis). I couldn't use the excuse that it 'wasn't healthy' because smoothies are *sooo* healthy. I mean, it's blended fruit and sugar! How could it not be healthy? I just want to restrict.
I self harm and I can't cut here either. It's driving me insane. I've gained so much weight. I just know I've gained since coming here. I'm trying so hard to restrict. We eat dinner together, too. I skipped lunch but the smoothie+dinner+toast+tea= a million calories I can't even count because calories aren't listed/dinner was home made.
I swear, once I get back home (4+ days) I'm going to restrict like crazy. I'm going to fast. Oh, and I can't even eat my own safe foods because they're 'too expensive', 'not healthy', or because 'you don't need to diet'. Sorry for posting so much, guys.
[Rant/Rave] I would've hit my goal weight months ago if it wasn't for this dang alcohol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 16:58:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m429v/i_wouldve_hit_my_goal_weight_months_ago_if_it/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Clothes are old, torn and ruined.
/u/TeaWithLemon9012
Created: Sat Jul 8 16:43:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3zgq/clothes_are_old_torn_and_ruined/
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But I can't bring myself to buy more. It's nothing to do with cost. But I know if my anorexia doesn't end they won't fit by next year. I refuse to buy for my current size because it makes me feel disgusting seeing that number. Just like stepping on the scale my brain goes "what a fat tub of lard"-even though I'm apparently the size of the "average" American woman. But I never see people as fat as me. I'm ashamed to even walk into a clothes store. Those botique stores with the fancy clothes I used to shop in don't even carry a size 8. Half the clothes in my closet won't fit me until I'm underweight again. The other half are super baggy so I can hide how much I'm losing again. I hate my anorexia. It's always screaming inside my head. My SO has no problem staying skinny. He's shoveling pizza down his throat right now. (he ate half a pizza!!!) but still only a 17 BMI. He just walks into any store and finds tons of clothes within minutes. Whereas I agonize over every decision- usually deciding it makes me too fat and leaving the store empty handed.
Since I'll have no choice but to buy more professional outfits for my PhD program soon I've cut my calories as far as possible. Felt faint all day today in the heat. Luckily I kept it together until I could sit down and drink water.
Shopping sucks. Clothes suck. Food sucks.
[Discussion] Stimulants / Appetite Suppressants opinions?
/u/We_Are_Vigilant_ [5'9"| CW164 GW150 | ~ | M]
Created: Sat Jul 8 16:33:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3xq9/stimulants_appetite_suppressants_opinions/
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Ephedrine Ephedra. Anything.
I want the strongest one I can buy online preferably in a powder form. Help?
I used to be on adderal for ADHD and it helped me be a productive and motivated person. I can't get a script anymore and I need something to replace it.
[Help] Has anyone sort help in the UK
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 16:12:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3tje/has_anyone_sort_help_in_the_uk/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Well, shit
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Sat Jul 8 15:20:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3jnj/well_shit/
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In six days (SIX) (FREAKING) (DAYS) I have to go dress shopping. For my friend's wedding.
Problem one: I am fat.
Problem two: I am short.
Problem three: my friends are all tall and skinny. And beautiful.
Problem four: there's *probably* no way I can lose 60 lbs in the next six days. Without cutting some limbs off, I mean.
Problem five: during the three days that we are all in the same city we have four meals planned together (including directly before and after the shopping).
Someone just fucking kill me ok
[Discussion] ED-Anonymous
/u/GetToTheStore
Created: Sat Jul 8 15:16:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3iwz/edanonymous/
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Has anyone tried them? I want to dip my toe into structured recovery and find a happy medium. I'm terrified of in patient treatment and I'm considered a normal weight so I don't even know if anyplace would take me.
[Help] Tea - Is it really what it says it is?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 14:59:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3fl9/tea_is_it_really_what_it_says_it_is/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Appetite suppressant I can order from Amazon?
/u/sheelalala
Created: Sat Jul 8 14:47:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3dcc/appetite_suppressant_i_can_order_from_amazon/
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I know I probably can't order ephedrine or anything like that, but do any of you guys know anything else that works? I can't get anything that works in the pharmacy :/
I stock up on health food.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 14:40:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m3bsd/i_stock_up_on_health_food/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I fucking fainted =/
/u/Franny___Glass [5'8" | 107.2 lb. | 16.30 | f]
Created: Sat Jul 8 14:19:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m37qz/i_fucking_fainted/
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I've been doing SO GOOD lately! Maybe too good, haha... I had tickets for a show at a bar, but yesterday my SO wasn't feeling great so I went to the concert by myself. Earlier I had eaten 2 sliced apples, a 100 cal bag of Skinny Pop, and a Diet Coke, and that's all I had other than a cup of coffee that morning.
Got to the bar and promptly ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in a while which was cool. I drank a vodka+red bull sf, then after the opening act I left them and went to push my way toward the stage to get a better spot. The headliner took FOREVER to come out on stage. Like, over an hour. I'm just standing around, squished in with several hundred strangers, for ages and ages, and I decide it's a good idea to pack a bowl in my tiny glass pipe and smoke some weed to pass the time, while I'm standing around. I take 2 hits, and I'm feeling GREAT. Then I start browsing Instagram on my phone for a few, and when I put it away and look up again (in the dim bar) I begin to lose my shit.
I feel SO TIRED and just... not good. My head is swimming. I realize I'm going to have to sit down. I wish I'd fucking eaten something before the show. I'm pissed that I'll lose my great spot near the stage, but there's no saving it. I make my way back, get as far as the sound booth, contemplate sitting down on the floor, then the next thing I know I'M ON THE FLOOR, with a dozen people asking me if I'm OK and saying shit like, "Omg!"
I apologized, a lot, and said something about a blood sugar issue. I can't believe I had the presence of mind to think of that, but it saved me from my guardian angel lady calling 911 later. I was escorted to a bench along the wall behind the sound booth. This large, lovely woman with dark hair was taking care of me. My friend appeared and bought me a bottle of orange juice, which I drank, and then she disappeared with her boyfriend.
But this woman sat with me the whole time, made sure I was OK, talked to me, dabbed a cold wet paper towel on my forehead and neck, brought me sliced cheese from the bar kitchen which was not open. I was so thoroughly embarrassed, but she was basically my guardian angel. When I felt better, we went out to her car and smoked more and listened to music. She saved my fucking life.
**TL;DR** I need to eat some fucking thing before I drink a vodka and smoke weed and stand in a hot crush of people, or else pass out in a crowd and have to rely on the kindness of strangers.
[Rant/Rave] The Military Diet video
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 13:59:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m33kl/the_military_diet_video/
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I just watched a video ona girl trying the military diet. It's where you eat 1300 cal, 1200 cal, and then 1100 cal (3 days) and she complained sooooo much. I really like the girls other videos but I thought it was hilarious hove she was so upset by eating what seems like so much to me. I can't imagine eating over 1000 calories 3 days in a row. Such ED brain here
[Discussion] Electrolytes!
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 | •ᴗ•]
Created: Sat Jul 8 13:56:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m331z/electrolytes/
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What's your favorite way to get them?
I have a semi physical job and I usu have a 140cal 10oz gatorade because I feel the calories and salt/sugar keep me alive and able to be active and not feel like shit haha
But I wouldn't mind trying lower calorie drinks!
[Goal] idk what kind of weird circular logic shit this even is but
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 161 | gw 145 | -8]
Created: Sat Jul 8 12:58:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m2r4n/idk_what_kind_of_weird_circular_logic_shit_this/
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I want to lose weight so my alcohol tolerance will be way lower so I can drink enough to feel better about my life for under 1000 calories.
[Rant/Rave] This is ruining my life.
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 12:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m2odi/this_is_ruining_my_life/
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I care enough to want a normal life but I don't care enough to make any changes.
I'm on a waitlist for iop treatment. This is day 8 and I keep thinking about how easy it is to lose all willingness to change in 8 days. I promised myself I would follow through with this, but I don't know sometimes.
I hate what I'm doing to myself but I just keep doing it. I hate getting my period every month and being reminded of how fat and womanly I am. I hate the trauma and the inability to maintain romantic relationships and the addictive nature of my entire fucking life.
I know this is rambly, and I'm not being very spiritual right now and maybe a lot of it is pms but I'm just tired and frustrated. I'm also avoiding a family bbq because I'm the only alcoholic in my family who has actually gotten sober so I was going to leave after the heavy drinking started, but guess what it started at noon so now I'm not sure if I want to show up at all.
[Rant/Rave] The thing about 2000 cal...
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 12:38:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m2mvs/the_thing_about_2000_cal/
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I just realized that if you eat a 2000 cal diet that means 550 for every meal and 500 fro snacks. That amount literally is insane. Like I don't think I could eat that much if I wanted, much less eat that much and not get physically sick.
[Rant/Rave] a milestone rave
/u/incr3m3nts [23.38 | 31f]
Created: Sat Jul 8 12:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m2lhe/a_milestone_rave/
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I moved to a new city about 10 months ago, weighing my current weight. At the time, I had just gained 5 pounds after losing 60. 2 months later I suffered a head injury and gained 15 pounds, which I've now lost. Last time I was at this weight, I was disappointed and scared of re-gaining more. Well I was right to be scared, because re-gaining fat and re-losing control sucked ass with a concussion to boot. Now I can lose the 5 to get back to my overall 60 pound weight loss. That won't put me at my lowest weight ever, which I still need to get below, but it's better than being lost in a deja vu BED hellscape. Fuck that sucked.
I put off losing the 60 pounds because I didn't want to "relapse into restriction." Except I was obese and b/ping anyway so this is just much better. Honestly, I lost the first 50 or so pounds the "healthy way" because I was afraid restricting would just make me into a hungrier fatter monster at the end of the day. I'm grateful at least that didn't happen.
So here's to everyone recovering from a period of binging, or anyone hoping to do so, or anyone enjoying a milestone, or anyone at all I guess. Just needed to rave about it and I'm sure my husband is tired of the minutiae. Thanks for being here and happy weekend to everyone. <3
[Rant/Rave] FUCroutons 1: actual croutons: 0
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Sat Jul 8 12:29:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m2l2l/fucroutons_1_actual_croutons_0/
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Little bit of a back story, I'm gently intolerant to wheat and dairy. Not severe in anyway, I can eat it, I just get so bloated I look pregnant, all of my piercings get itchy because I'm allergic to the metal and for some reason sensitivity+ sensitivity =reaction, and I get really tired and lethargic. My dumbass is so addicted to carbs and cheese that I suffer through regardless.
Anyway. You guys. This is so dumb but wow.
I wake up, go downstairs and eat 150 g of blueberries and a Diet Coke.
To my brain this means "she opened the flood gates!!! Nothing is off limits all bets are off, EAT!"
So I grab a plate, put down a massive 210 cal tortilla, add A bunch of cheese (parm bc details matter and you can't put just anything in a Caesar wrap) croutons, (salted of course bc fuck unsalted croutons) and lettuce. As I am about to smother it in dressing for some reason I stop and realize "wow. I don't want this. I don't need this. This is the start of a mindless binge. My stomach feels fine for the first time in weeks I won't ruin this over a god damn Caesar wrap."
And you guys. Guys.
I PUT EVERYTHING BACK IN THE FRIDGE.
this is so small and silly but I feel like I'm on top of the world right now.
[edit: I abused my comma privilege]
[Rant/Rave] I feel so guilty
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Sat Jul 8 12:04:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m2fus/i_feel_so_guilty/
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So my best friend's mother passed last week. Her mother lives in a different state so I wasn't with her when it happened. I saw her yesterday after not seeing her for a week and she looked about 10 pounds lighter and very pale and tired. Seeing her like that broke my heart.
I was very worried and asked her if she'd been eating okay.
I get that she's grieving and it can be very hard to eat when something this tragic happens.
Later that night after I took her home I cried for maybe an hour just because she did not look well and she was different, understandably so. I just feel so awful about all this.
Just the one thing that gets to me the most is after I was done crying I binged and purged and I just feel like how could I do that at a time like this, what if something happens to me, I need to be there for my friend, what would she think if she knew, how sad would she be.
Also after seeing her it makes me want to restrict more than ever, and that is beyond fucked up. This is not how I should be thinking at a time so devastating for my friend. I was about to open my notebook and write down my lunch calories and I started sobbing? How can I tell her to eat when I'm just as bad? I'm such a fraud.
I just feel like such a bad person. I have such a bad heart. I am completely rotten inside and out. I am so angry at myself, I feel so selfish. I'm a horrible friend. I can do good things and be the kindest person, but I know that deep down in my heart I'm evil and it sickens me.
[Rant/Rave] Anxiety rant- don't mind me
/u/TinyandLost [5'6 | Gross | BMI - OW | -13lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 11:28:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m28do/anxiety_rant_dont_mind_me/
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I know no one does want to hang out with me but an offer would be nice. Don't worry, I already have excuses not to come, but an offer would be nice. I get that I'm not wanted around considering how weird I am and how I'm messing up constantly and doing odd things. Yet they still talk to me. I know you have plans to go drinking tonight and I don't want to go. You offered me an invitation yesterday, and I know you've already gone to the pub, but at least drop me a message.
It's okay though, I've already showered and my hair is too wet to go out. I'm in my pjs now, so it's okay. To make things worse, I saw one of you on the bus and they barely said anything to me.
I know when I'm not wanted around but it would be nice to just know for certain instead of being tossed around like a spare part.
I realise this sounds pathetic but so much has happened with work and everything else. It's as if everyone's finally given up and stopped talking to me. I just don't know anymore
I should have seen it coming. My OCP tendencies are back just like last time it was bad.
[Rant/Rave] Why is my body an Asshole and why am I surrounded by not-so-funhouse mirrors!? (84 hours)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 11:23:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m27ey/why_is_my_body_an_asshole_and_why_am_i_surrounded/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
So I know I gained weight while I was in the hospital and I was weighed once in a bed and another time a few days ok at a doctor's apptment.
None of the numbers make sense. Four scales, one on a hospital bed, one at a doctor's office, two at home and the numbers don't seem right for either.
I know I binged for probably five days or more between the hospital and being at home. I fast for the last three and a half days.
Maybe I was bloated or retaining water. My job is active sort of. I have never been able to figure out any of the calories stuff for myself. I'm a male who's 5'9" but feel like my body is so fucked I gain on more than 1000 calories.
My body seems to hate me and not obey physics and all the scales have to be wrong. Also I have my fucking proportions I'm a fucking amalgamation of undesirable physical traits. My butt and thighs are huge, same with my caves, wide hips and broad shoulders and a weight that's average. I wear a fucking spectrum of sizes because I feel like nothing really fits.
I feel a lot of dysmorphia and honestly don't know what I look like or any supposed to look like. I feel like my body is uniquely fucked and as a result undesirable. I just want to be thin and model-esque and to wear the smallest sizes and not be squishy or flabby.
Instead I get a body that can't sustain itself and acts like a fucking bastard and this is why I need control and to try and keep it in check.
Still can't afford to eat so I'm fasting. Day three and half now. By the time I finish work tonight it will be four days or 96 hours. Pretty much planning to fast until I arrive in DC this next week cause I'll be forced to eat with my SO and so i will try to restrict for the three days or so I am there and fast upon my return.
I wish my SO also didn't have issues with food she has disordered eating but like me is just bad at it. She doesn't starve like I do. She eats a bit and is heavier because of that at PCOS which apparently fucks your metabolism up, not sure if that's just fatlogic but I wish we could both be better.
So yeah. Hooray 84 hours...
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Found Unbearable Lightness
/u/JaneLane26
Created: Sat Jul 8 11:21:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m26vp/found_unbearable_lightness/
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Please label rant/rave, maybe? On phone, apologies for formatting
I've been on a road trip with my sister (who knows about my disorder) for the past 10 days.
I've had moments of panic for the lack of choice and access to safe foods
Anger at moments of my lack of control on bad foods and binges on long stretches of road
Elation with the experience of national parks, but especially all the hiking
And (guilty) pride that I don't eat as much as my sister
In our last campsite, they had books to take. It was like Portia de Rossi was waiting for me and only me. I started Unbearable Lightness and read on a hammock.
In some ways, my thoughts and eating have improved as I haven't purged in weeks. Actually, since I left for my trip. So, this improvement may be due to the lack of privacy, but I'll take it for what it is.
Not sure where I'm going with this, but I am enjoying this book.
[Rant/Rave] Uhhh I just started eating salt out of the shaker??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 10:40:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1yjf/uhhh_i_just_started_eating_salt_out_of_the_shaker/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Went to a national park with my fiance and felt so tiny in this photo of us!
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Sat Jul 8 10:23:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1uxm/went_to_a_national_park_with_my_fiance_and_felt/
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https://i.redd.it/mbng27y0ae8z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Pin up photo shoot tomorrow
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Sat Jul 8 10:16:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1tgm/pin_up_photo_shoot_tomorrow/
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Not sure if I consider this a rant or a rave but either way, here it is. A little long so thanks for staying tuned.
I'm kind of losing it right now. About three months back I was booked to model for a pin up shoot and that also coincided with me reaching my current lowest weight and a whopping BMI of 19.0. So I thought, sure! Celebrate how thing I've gotten AND make some money? Wear pretty costumes and get my makeup done? Hell yeah!
Fast forward to ten days ago, where I spent the month after my bf moved away binge eating my face and gained around thirteen pounds. And I panicked.
Part of me wants to celebrate that I fasted back down to 130 but damn am I exhausted from working doubles and still running everyday and so effing nervous. I feel like I lost the weight so fast that my mind hasn't quite caught up so I feel like a cow and I have to have my photo taken in lingerie and I'm FLIPPING OUT. Like, this is the kind of shoot my body is MADE for, why did I have to fuck it all up by binging? I could have stopped. I told myself to stop. WHY DIDN'T I STOP?
I'm so nervous, I really am. I hope it goes well and I don't ruin this poor girl's shoot: she's starting up a pin-up photo shoot business and I'm going to be one of many in her ads. I have this nightmare that she'll just crop me out or send me home the moment I get there.
Uggghhhh. Also had a dream about funfetti ice cream filled doughnuts and that has me all fucked up. Watch and I get there and one of the girls is eating fries or Dunkin I will have a Joan Crawford level meltdown.
Any words of wisdom from my favorite group of crazy people?
[Rant/Rave] S/o Thinks Me & My Illness Are A Joke
/u/dankdesty [5'10|CW 117|GW 110|UGW 105|F| -3lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 8 10:07:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1rou/so_thinks_me_my_illness_are_a_joke/
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So for the last month and a half or so, my restriction has gotten more strict, and the weight loss is apparently more noticeable (My disordered brain cant tell) my boyfriend has made a point of shaming me for being so boney when he touches me... This should make me happy but it doesnt..
On top of that, he is constantly commenting on the way that I eat... He'll say "oh I was thinking we could get "insert food here" tonight.. Oh wait I forgot you dont eat"... "Im gonna go to dunkin for some coffee, want me to see if they have zero cal coffee or something? Nah I forgot you eat tea for breakfast"...
Its like hes angry I dont eat, and trying to make me feel bad... Then this morning he walked into the kitchen as I was taking alll my Vitamins (we dont live together so hes not usually around for this ritual) At first he got scared and thought they were pills.. they I told him they were just daily vitamins and he says
"OHHHH! Yeah, I guess you really are anorexic..."
I broke inside... Like I know im sick, but his blatant disregard for my disordered eating hurts.. Like we all want someone to care, but not care to much... and here is my boyfriend literally disregarding all my high risk behavior.. Idk I guess its just another indicator that I am nothing..
TLDR; My boyfriend sees my disordered eating & completely disregards it.. He makes blatant comments about me never eating, & said I was anorexic when he saw me take vitamins
Sorry for the rant
How have you rekindled your ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 09:59:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1q0l/how_have_you_rekindled_your_ed/
---
[removed]
FYI with Prime Now you can save $20 on your 2 future orders of groceries. I just ordered like 10 things of halo top 😭
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |152.4 lbs|22.10 Male]
Created: Sat Jul 8 09:47:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1npj/fyi_with_prime_now_you_can_save_20_on_your_2/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Yujut
Amazon sells them for 2.99, and with the coupon I only paid like $15 :)
[Discussion] 5'9 body types
/u/Awdumb
Created: Sat Jul 8 09:09:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1gid/59_body_types/
---
Hello all! I'm new to the community. I was fishing through photos to find 5'9 body types for some inspiration. I want to see where progress towards my GW will take me, and would appreciate anyone willing to share their image. So far I've lost 43 pounds but I'm so far off. I am obese. It's hard to admit even behind the screen of my phone. My girlfriend died two years ago, which led to the grand plummet of my health. I lost control over myself and gained about 137 pounds. In other words, photos of all body types at 5'9, large and small, would be a great help. I'm so far from perfection. Some days it's hard to continue because I can't imagine my body when this weight is all gone. A beautiful me is surreal.
(Also, if I didn't post this correctly could someone let me know so I don't keep making the same mistakes)
Thank you! xxx
[Thinspo] Giving back to the community. Mirei Kiritani thinspo. ILY all and have a lovely weekend. <3
/u/Catsorbras
Created: Sat Jul 8 08:45:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1byy/giving_back_to_the_community_mirei_kiritani/
---
http://imgur.com/a/lsdQN
[Rant/Rave] Went to a concert last night
/u/greatglowingcoilsoft [5'7 / CW: 172 / F / -40lb]
Created: Sat Jul 8 08:38:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m1aoz/went_to_a_concert_last_night/
---
My BF and I went to see one of our favorite smaller bands, Now, Now. I love their music so much, but I was distracted by how much I want to look like the singer. We were right in front of the stage. She's so dainty and cute and shy and almost etherial and I could only pay attention to half of the songs because I was just struck by how thinspo she was. Whyyyyyyyyy am I like this?
[Rant/Rave] I don't know how to feel about this (LONG)
/u/theloneravioli
Created: Sat Jul 8 08:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m14gb/i_dont_know_how_to_feel_about_this_long/
---
*Please flair as Rant/Intro - I'm on mobile ATM*
Good morning to everyone here! I hope ya'll are doing well and today will be a good day for you ❤️
So I've had ED tendencies for a long time now. I wouldn't say I have an ED because it comes and goes if that makes sense? Maybe I'm just a fake wannabe loser, I don't know. I would say things were at their worst (best?) in high school. I was down to 110, a size 2 or 3 and my CHEST BONES were prominent. (My chest bones. Like the ribs in between the girls. My God, if only that were the case today.) I did this mainly by being too depressed to eat and staying full on self-loathing, anxiety, and water. Then one day, everything changed. I was taking a Spanish class and we had an assignment to bake/cook a local dish. Of course my partner and I got assigned some triple decker chocolate coffee cake monstrosity. So we do all the baking at his house, and like most inexperienced cooks we totally fucked up the first attempt. Not in a way to deem it inedible, but it wouldn't get the passing grade. After the successful second attempt, his mom packs up our fail cake and says, "Why don't you take this home for dessert theloneravioli?" You can probably see what's coming. I get the cake home, put it on the counter and go to my room to brood. My mom was working graves so she wouldn't be home until I left for school the next morning. I couldn't stop thinking about that cake. I would open my door and stare at it because my room was conveniently facing into the kitchen. Something snapped inside me and the next thing I knew, the empty cake platter was on my floor next to an empty jar of pickles. I had consumed an entire triple decker cake and a jar of pickles. I cried, I wailed, I rendered my garments. I could NOT keep this food inside me. I just knew the sun wouldn't rise if I let myself sleep with this wad of sin in my belly. You know what happened next- I could quite get it right with my fingers so I used my toothbrush handle and it was like a magic wand. Accio, food! And that became my life. Binge and purge because hey, you're technically not eating right? Ugh.
And then it sort of...disappeared. Suddenly food became comforting and welcoming and goddamn delicious as I moved into adulthood. Don't get me wrong, there was always a voice in the back of my head screaming to stop, but it was silenced many a time with desserts and decadent meals. Fast forward to an abusive relationship where I was back to restricting but the thought of purging was disgusting to me. Even if I binged, it wasn't an option. I did attempt to a few times, but I just couldn't do it. I figured that part of my life was over, I had grown out of it. Fast forward to my current relationship where I was/am so deliriously happy that even that voice was silent. I could eat with impunity and I did. Which is why I am here today. I ballooned to over 160lbs in a year. Clothes stopped fitting, I was in double digit size pants, and when I saw myself in pictures I didn't recognize that fat sack of lard on my SO's arm. I was so shocked I immediately began planning to restrict, but by that time I was so addicted to food it took an entire year to really start the process.
The Good: I'm down 30lbs and I'm almost back in a size 5. Not my goal but closer than I was!
The Bad: I binge every other day. I can't stop thinking about food and it's affecting every other part of my life
The Ugly: I purged for the first time in years three days ago. And you know what? It was so easy. I didn't hurt and I wasn't even that grossed out by it. In fact, the sick and twisted part of me enjoyed it. So I did it again the next day. And now it's all I think about. Even when I'm under my calorie limit I want to purge it all. I don't know what to feel. Part of me is okay with this. Part of me enjoys this because I'm a terrible waste of life. The other part thinks about how this behavior has ruined lives and killed good people. Does anyone else feel this way? Am I as alone as I feel?
If you made this far, thank you for reading. I love this community and you are all so kind. I promise to never post something so long-winded ever again lol
[Discussion] Does anyone else have no one?
/u/chipmunknutter [5'10"| CW | 21.2 | maintenance | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 06:52:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0t6i/does_anyone_else_have_no_one/
---
Not sure where else to post. This disease is so isolating as I'm sure many feel but I feel I have no one. It's from weekday restricting so I can surplus weekends and now I don't even look forward to that because feeling full freaks me the F out but I do it so I don't keep losing. It affects my mood. My best friend asks "what's up?" He knows minor details of my ED that I "struggle" to eat enough and feel bad enjoying food so I comment that my goal is to actually hit a surplus this weekend as I'm likely feeling so tired because the weather and stress means I'm eating less and less. "I hope so I don't have to hear about it again or it'll be the next thing next week and the next week." It just really hurt. I don't talk about my ED much and never in detail because it embarrasses me. He's the closest person to me and feels like I have no one to ever express stress to which is what fuels much of my ED-anxiety and a relentless independence and self reliance. Now I just don't want to talk to him which isolates more, the comment of course counterintuitively makes me want to restrict even more. Just feeling like no one gives a shit. If not for my dogs...
[Rant/Rave] Had a dream I ate oreos
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 06:37:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0qz7/had_a_dream_i_ate_oreos/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I stopped eating peanut butter after 2 tsp
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Sat Jul 8 06:20:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0oqo/i_stopped_eating_peanut_butter_after_2_tsp/
---
I STOPPED
EATING
PEANUT BUTTER!!!!
AFTER
2!!!!
TSP!!!!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY goodnight
Edit: OMG THESE COMMENTS 💓 I love y'all.
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! July 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 8 06:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0ne7/stupid_questions_saturday_july_08_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for July 08, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 08, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 8 06:09:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0n9n/daily_food_diary_july_08_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 08, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Not ED related but I figured I could rant here
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 8 05:53:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0l05/not_ed_related_but_i_figured_i_could_rant_here/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Post binge recovery. Left is relaxing mint herbal tea and 45 cal a bottle organic kombucha. So good... +WWYD in the background
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Sat Jul 8 05:28:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0hv3/post_binge_recovery_left_is_relaxing_mint_herbal/
---
https://i.redd.it/fjmhifyftc8z.jpg
[Other] Worried about my friends finding out...
/u/ImMissBrightside
Created: Sat Jul 8 05:27:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0hol/worried_about_my_friends_finding_out/
---
I had nothing to do today so i was just watching Netflix. I hadn't eaten since yesterday, but I wanted to hold off until at least tonight. I got up to get my charger and suddenly felt really weak. Next thing I know, I'm back on the couch, with one of my best friends, Angela, asking me if I'm alright. She was going to pick me up for lunch at noon, but I guess I forgot. Some of my closer friends know where my key is so she came in and apparently saw me on my back, passed out.
She tried waking me but I didn't respond at first. She didn't know whether or not to call the ambulance, so she put me on the couch and called one of my other friends(a nurse) on what to do and if i had a heart attack or something. My other friend was on her way over when I woke up.
Now I'm worried that they know what I do. Angela told her how frail and "easy it was to lift me", and my nurse friend asked me when was the last time I ate. I said this morning, but I don't know if they believed me. My nurse friend has already been at a hospital for a while, so I'm sure she's familiar with this type of thing before. My nurse friend insisted on going to eat still, and they both kept offering me their food/sides, saying that they might not finish all of it.
I love them, and am so happy that they wanted to help, but I don't think I'm ready for them to know. I'm scared that they might bring this up with everyone else. If anyone found out about all this, id die of shame
[Discussion] Social media and food
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Sat Jul 8 05:21:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0h0x/social_media_and_food/
---
Is anybody else too insecure to post anything related to food on social media unless it's fruit? I get irrational thoughts that people would see it and think "Oh look it's the fat ugly girl pigging out again. Typical." even though these thoughts never cross my mind when people I follow post pictures of food or their meals.
DAE do this or is just me?
[Discussion] Is anyone else attracted to chubby people despite wanting to be super thin themselves?
/u/cupcakeinvestigator
Created: Sat Jul 8 05:01:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0ejp/is_anyone_else_attracted_to_chubby_people_despite/
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I want to be bony as fuck. But I'm mainly attracted to thick/chubby men and women. I feel as though that's weird. I like most body types but 75% it's thick/chubby
[Discussion] Favorite teas?
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 115 | BMI 20.4| GW 105| HW 160]
Created: Sat Jul 8 04:40:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m0c44/favorite_teas/
---
Hey everyone! So tea is something I've always loved. Lately I've been drinking iced green tea a lot and I was looking to expand my taste. What are your favorite teas, and why (if applicable).
[Intro] Reaching out/peach app
/u/fitterbythesecondd [178cm | 87.5kg | 27.6 | ?? | 25F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 03:35:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m04qk/reaching_outpeach_app/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] rant: my ED ruins everything
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 122 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 03:18:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6m02sf/rant_my_ed_ruins_everything/
---
so today I'm at Disneyland in shanghai with my dad and his wife. fun, right???
it's boiling and crowded but it's still Disney and I was still having a good time. I had a kiwi for breakfast at home, brought a tomato to eat for lunch, and had an apple in my bag for a snack. ate the tomato. throughout the day, my dad and his wife have eaten caramel popcorn, hot dogs, huge ice cream cones, and chicken. I sat and watched and finally decided I've earned my apple. so I took it out and began eating it in small bites.
halfway through, I drop it. on the filthy ground. now I have no safe food and it just feels like the universe telling me I don't deserve to eat. I nearly cried but had to pull it together. what is WRONG with me? this is Disney, for fuck's sake. I'm such a piece of shit for not being happy right now.
they said we could find more fruit or veg after the next couple of rides, but I don't even want them anymore. I wanted that planned apple that I allowed myself to eat and now I don't know my calorie count because I didn't get to finish it. goddammit.
[Help] Need help with grocery shopping
/u/leberef [5'10 | CW 156.8 | SW 205 | GW 120 | M]
Created: Sat Jul 8 02:05:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lzun1/need_help_with_grocery_shopping/
---
I'm a brain dead millennial who is just starting to shop for food for myself. I'm completely overwhelmed by all the options and struggle to create a list of things to buy. I'm not sure whether to buy ingredients or prepackaged meals, have no idea how to cook and get anxious at the thought of all this food I buy going to waste. I'm completely disorganized and struggle with meal planning and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die soon if all I consume is halo top, rice cakes, and vitamins. Can anyone help me figure out a basic meal plan or provide some tips for shopping? I figure I should stick to only a couple meals and just buy that but I struggle with even deciding on something I could make.
[Help] Need some words of encouragement, I guess.
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 8 01:43:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lzs1p/need_some_words_of_encouragement_i_guess/
---
I have the goal of losing at least ten pounds from the 26th of June to the 26th of July. Mostly I'm just tired of playing this game and losing. I want to finally reach my UGW and win once and for all and move on with my life. I've been doing pretty well so far- CICO says that I should be down 4.5 pounds in the past eleven days, even with the failure that was 4th of July. The problem is, I don't see much of a change on myself at all, and nobody else has mentioned that I look thinner, either. Usually, five pounds is pretty noticeable on me because it's almost 5% of my total body weight, but this time everything feels exactly the same. And the worst part is that I don't know what weight I started out as because I had a period of "normal eating" after hitting 102 pounds at the end of May, so right now I could be anywhere from 102-105 which makes it hard to know how to plan for the next twenty days. I would just weigh myself, but I find the scale never reflects any loss for me so I'm scared to even try.
Any words of encouragement or advice? I feel so stuck.
Edit: I checked my measurements this morning and I have lost- about an inch all over, which is what I'd expect for a little under 5 pounds of loss. Guess I do need to just keep trucking along.
[Rant/Rave] 72 hours bitches!
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Sat Jul 8 01:28:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lzqdp/72_hours_bitches/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave
I'm not even proud or ashamed. I feel numb. Also like I'm cheating cause I can't afford to buy food any way. I refuse to eat any of my families food after being ripped apart for not paying for my own groceries some times so I will only eat what I buy.
Since I was out of work for two weeks and have another week off next week and had to pay off my credit card and pay rent I have no money for food. I technically get a free meal or whatever I want at work cause I'm a cook but I also refuse to eat during work days or around anyone to be seen eating.
Honestly id almost rather someone catch me masturbating then eating. Both are gross to me. I find people eating disgusting and so i can't bare to be seen eating it gives me a lot of anxiety. I binge only when I'm alone and it mirrors the ritual of a drug addict.
I get my goods. I feel a rush. I then feel shame and a come down from the rush some times worse than when I started . I hide the evidence and don't talk about it. I get cranky if I haven't been able to binge.
On the flip side being deprived make a me feel invinceable. I am more aware of my body for better and worse. I feel my breath, my pulse, heart beat and temperature. I feel superior for not indulging in the gluttony that I witness.
So here I am. I've worked three of five days so far and walked 7 miles today plus being on my feet for 8 and a half hours.
I wish I knew how many calories my job burned but no estimates seem right.
Here's to keeping up the this suffering. I'm no role model in just very sick and very sad.
Willow.
[Discussion] What would you eat if you had to eat maintenance?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Sat Jul 8 00:27:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lziqx/what_would_you_eat_if_you_had_to_eat_maintenance/
---
I've been playing with this idea for ~~way too fucking long~~ a while now. According to mfp, my maintenance is 1650 calories, which sounds amazingly indulgent. So, here's me jerking off to the idea of recovery/maintenance.
Breakfast:
300g of LF greek yoghurt, 2% (225) one cup of cantaloupe (60) one cup of blueberries (85) one cup of watermelon (46) two small apricots (34)
Lunch: Subway teriyaki chicken salad w/ light mayo (191)
Dinner: 50g red lentil pasta(166), 200g tempeh(288) one cup of my high—cal veggie mix w/ edamame n stuff(130) spicy tomato sauce(98)
Snacks: 1 cup of strawberry cheesecake ice cream from my favorite shop(~280) 1 monster rehab (50)
[Discussion] DAE like REALLY strange flavor combinations?
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Sat Jul 8 00:04:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lzfox/dae_like_really_strange_flavor_combinations/
---
For instance, I like to dip plain popcorn in plain Greek yogurt.
[Rant/Rave] It's 2 am and I binged. SuicideTM
/u/motivatedcactus
Created: Fri Jul 7 23:59:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lzeyj/its_2_am_and_i_binged_suicidetm/
---
My first binge. Usually when i'm about to i just log whatever i'm going to eat first, eat it slowly, and usually i don't even want anything else. I ate absolutely nothing all day. I'm a dishwasher and I nearly passed out multiple times at work. I was proud too. I logged in my phone journal and my real journal no calories. I knew sleeping would be a problem because it always has been especially after i work. For some reason it's harder to sleep after a night of work even though i'm exhausted. I tried some of my new insomnia tea. Still couldn't sleep. Something said fuck it and i just ate. No thoughts just food. Haha. So much bread.... Now chips... Now i'm going to go upstairs and get my chocolate covered cookie dough bites from the other day so i can hate myself more. I don't have an eating disorder, i've never been diagnosed however i do have major depressive disorder and BPD tendencies and i haven't wanted to legitimately kill myself in a long time. Fuck life.
Edit: i just remembered what i told myself the other day. I said i would fast today and the next day and my reward would be (i forget) and if i failed i had to cut. Not for the pain just so that i had cuts on me and i couldn't enjoy swimming or wearing shorts until they weren't fresh anymore. I feel very fucked it in the head right now.
[Discussion] Feeling productive and somewhat good.
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 23:32:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lzb4z/feeling_productive_and_somewhat_good/
---
I did some light yoga, waxed everything that I'm capable of waxing and put in laundry. I also managed to do most of the errands required of me today and even though my calorie count today is fucking bad, I feel okay now. I'm also wearing an outfit that makes me look smaller than I am and my top is hanging off my shoulders perfectly.
I just need to apply a face mask and my day will be nearly complete. How is your Friday evening going?
[Rant/Rave] Everything in this has probably been posted many times before...
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Fri Jul 7 22:51:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lz4ur/everything_in_this_has_probably_been_posted_many/
---
I just hate that I do this.
Binging and purging is fucking horrible and I've read about people dying from it in only 5 years. And when I'm not doing that my only other option is not eating which is not a good alternative.
I only feel good when my calories are in the mid hundreds, when they are I feel like I'm doing well. I haven't been able to do that in a while, I've purged almost every day last month, I purged yesterday and I'm going to purge after I post this.
I'm chasing something that I can't reach. And at this point in my life I feel like it's the only way I can be happy, to achieve my goal weight. But simultaneously I feel like it won't change anything and there's no point and I'll be a piece of shit no matter what...
One of the hardest things is keeping this secret, nobody knows that I'm like this, nobody knows anything is wrong. It's so exhausting being so sneaky.
I just wish this would just go away without any one ever knowing this was ever a part of my life. This is my best biggest shame and guilt and I never want anyone to know because it's disgusting.
I just want to be healthy and happy someday. I just want this to be all behind me someday.
I hope one day I find the courage to get help, but idk when that will be...
[Rant/Rave] Nooooooope
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 22:14:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lyyu6/nooooooope/
---
I got drilled into today.
My therapist said that if I lose any more weight by the time I see my dietician in 2 weeks we'll be talking residential again. And I really think this time it will be that or I'll lose my therapist. Honestly, if that happened I don't even think I'll try recovery anymore. I'll give up for the rest of my damn life.
I can't even get myself to follow my damn meal plan. I have to. It's so fucking hard right now without any accountability. I have a few more days and then I will at least won't be able to purge so hopefully it will be easier for me to eat normally because I won't be afraid of binging.
Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] I've slipped up three times today and I wasn't even craving anything.
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 21:47:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lyubn/ive_slipped_up_three_times_today_and_i_wasnt_even/
---
This morning I had an entire toasted bagel with cream cheese followed by two slices of bread with cream cheese as well. Okay. Not that bad, I had a glass of cold water before and after to make myself feel better.
Then I go without eating until I'm right by a Starbucks, and I decide that I can "treat myself" so I got a grande S'mores frappuchino, good god.
I just got home from that drive and my Starbucks treat to find there are "triple chocolate two-bite brownies" on the counter. I don't even like chocolate but there I go, eating five of the fuckers. Followed by a glass of water "to balance it".
I'm sitting here mad at myself and wanting to purge, but I unfortunately took my birth control with the first brownie and I don't want to throw it up. Jesus Christ. I think I'm going to make myself a little "anti binge" list of things to do/remember before I find myself indulging in shit I'm not even craving or like. Today would have been such a good day to fast too since I didn't work and wouldn't have been tempted by all the food places downtown.
I've also decided to start tracking my calories again, might as well keep myself accountable in some form besides feeling guilty all the time. 1833 calories (!!!)
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else deal with chronic insomnia?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Fri Jul 7 21:26:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lyqos/anyone_else_deal_with_chronic_insomnia/
---
I don't think it's an ED thing for me, it's more of genetics/generalized anxiety, but lord restricting does not help it.
I've tried everything in the book with OTC and prescribed sleep medicine, therapy, etc., but it's still an everyday challenge.
Restricting makes my insomnia worse and it makes restricting so much harder. Food-deprived? Fine. Sleep-deprived? It sucks but whatever. Food-deprived and sleep-deprived? I want to die. And binge so I can be relaxed enough to sleep. Both things I want to do right now and just venting.
Gaining weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 21:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lymqa/gaining_weight/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Words I never want to hear: "Bring a swimsuit"
/u/avaflies [5'4" | GW bone]
Created: Fri Jul 7 20:56:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lylmt/words_i_never_want_to_hear_bring_a_swimsuit/
---
I have to go to a music festival in two weeks and I am really not excited. I probably weigh 140 pounds right now. All I want to do is cancel. Or put it off another month so I can lose just 15 more pounds. I haven't eaten solid food in almost a week and I still. can't. lose. weight. fast. enough. Seriously, how the hell am I supposed to wear a swimsuit when I have fresh stretch marks? My knees touch together with my legs closed. My fingers don't even have gaps between them. GAH. I'M LOSING MY MIND.
[Rant/Rave] My social ineptitude has helped me lose weight
/u/bagelzboi [5'3 | CW:95bs |]
Created: Fri Jul 7 20:12:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lye0z/my_social_ineptitude_has_helped_me_lose_weight/
---
Yeah, maybe I'm horribly lonely, don't have any friends and never my flat but I've lost 10 lbs this past month thanks to not having to participate in social events so who's really winning?? hahahaaghahahaha
[Discussion] https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/6lvik9/fasting_triggers_stem_cell_regeneration_of/?st=J4UNG8HY&sh=f323a11c
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 20:08:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lydb0/httpswwwredditcomrsciencecomments6lvik9fasting/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Hello
/u/de1etemyse1f
Created: Fri Jul 7 20:01:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lyc1z/hello/
---
I've been lurking for quite a while but finally decided to make an account and motivate myself.
I'm 5'3, 125 lbs. My lowest weight while restricting was 109, and my highest about 132. I just desperately don't want to gain anymore,and I know if I commit myself to it I can get myself where I want to be.
[Rant/Rave] Low standards for recovery
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Fri Jul 7 19:20:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ly4p9/low_standards_for_recovery/
---
If it ever happens...I don't see recovery as sunshine, rainbows, arms hooked around friends and a loving family. I don't see myself as competent, giggling, or even happy.
Recovery? My vision of recovery is dull. It is living life without worrying that I will die face down in vomit, with my shirt off to prevent vomit splatters. Recovery is not spending my meetings at work trying to guess the weight of the person across from me.
And you know, that is enough. I'd settle for mediocre and a realistic version of who I can be. Because as I am here, after hours at work, getting ready to purge...worried about stomach rupture and someone finding me in an exploded state... anything is better than this.
[Other] We aren't losing weight, we are boosting our immune system! (Article on fasting potential-USC)
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Fri Jul 7 18:30:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxvk8/we_arent_losing_weight_we_are_boosting_our_immune/
---
https://news.usc.edu/63669/fasting-triggers-stem-cell-regeneration-of-damaged-old-immune-system/
[Help] Experiences with Lexapro?
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Fri Jul 7 18:05:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxqpm/experiences_with_lexapro/
---
So my doctor is prescribing me lexapro and I'm scared it's going to increase my appetite or make me gain weight.
What have your experiences been?
[Rant/Rave] I hate traveling.
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 18:01:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxq0h/i_hate_traveling/
---
I'm in NYC for the weekend and so far today I've had a bagel, two huge slices of pizza, and shake shack. Going out to dinner soon!!! Hope a taxi hits me!!!
[Rant/Rave] "I want to lose weight"...as I binge for the second time today
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Fri Jul 7 17:55:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxowg/i_want_to_lose_weightas_i_binge_for_the_second/
---
Sigh. Sometimes I feel like I need to post binge pics while others are posting grocery hauls to shame myself and to be honest, make others feel better about themselves.
I've had periods of high calorie restriction and I was functional. I need to get back to that...I need routine. I need to sign up for a gym membership, that's what I need to do. I need structure and planned out days.
At the same time, I know this isn't my natural weight and my brain fog just can't be overridden by willpower. All I do is think about food until I get my hands on it.
[Rant/Rave] They're ordering a fucking pizza.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 17:47:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxncv/theyre_ordering_a_fucking_pizza/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] |Discussion| Scheduled cheat meals/days
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Fri Jul 7 17:27:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxjab/discussion_scheduled_cheat_mealsdays/
---
I'm thinking about implementing either a cheat meal or cheat day into my week to reach my intake goals. That seems way less daunting then regularly eating more, and this way I can still control it a little while working on letting go during those specific times. Has this worked for anybody? I just don't want to kickstart a binge.
[Rant/Rave] Getting to the point where eating more than 500 calories makes me feel like a giant fucking whale :)
/u/TheThirdCloneOfXyxl
Created: Fri Jul 7 17:10:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxg1j/getting_to_the_point_where_eating_more_than_500/
---
My typical go to is restricting and refusing to go over 600 calories/day so maybe eating 300-500 calories, but it's gotten to the point where eating more than 500 makes me feel like a pig. Even getting up into the 400's makes me feel like a hippo and I absolutely despise myself and cry it out for like the next 2 hours (burning them emotional calories tho amirite) until I feel ill.
Even eating healthy food that's pretty much just water makes me feel super guilty 24/7. It was never like this before but consuming any food just instantly makes me feel like I'm a horrible person. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Binged today.
/u/gracewisc [5'6 | 166lbs | 26.8 | -36lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 16:57:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxddc/binged_today/
---
I'm so angry at myself. I was doing great until the evening and BAM, I binged on like 600 calories. So I'm up to 1400-1500 for the day. I feel like a hippo even though I've lost 10 pounds the last two weeks. FML.
[Rant/Rave] Using family members as motivation feels so shitty
/u/evwagen [5'7 | 128 | 20.5 | 32 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 16:54:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lxco1/using_family_members_as_motivation_feels_so_shitty/
---
Really just need to get this out..
My mom starts every day with a bagel lathered in cream cheese, goes to work and eats donuts and candy that's always in her office and eats leftover pasta for lunch (she's the only one in the house who likes it so she knows when she makes it there will be a ton left over), and makes really high fat/carb dinners frequently. My pre Ed fave was spaghetti and she still looks so hopeful every time she makes it and then I just go for grilled chicken and veggies.
My sister just drinks a lot and is ripped af so even though she's in great shape she's never been super slim, she's literally all muscle and she looks so good but I have different goals for myself. Plus she has this habit of eating an entire pizza to herself one or two nights a week, and I don't think I've eaten pizza in over a year.
I love them both to death and they're literally the reason I haven't killed myself at my really low points but I use them as motivation to restrict all the time, and my mom is basically my personal b/p chef (that felt awful to actually type out). Like my worst fear is that I'll grow up to be exactly like her and just not care anymore.
I'm bulimic and usually if I see something they're eating that looks really good I'll hold off until everyone's asleep and.. get my fix of it without so many of the calories.
It feels so shitty. I want to enjoy time with them and my mom is one of those people who loves by feeding you so I know the past two disordered years have been so hard on her. It just makes me feel like even more of a piece of shit, but I really can't wait to go back to school in the fall and not fall into these gross habits. I feel like if they could hear my inner dialogue they would be in tears.
[Discussion] fighting binge urges
/u/archerofdawn [154cm | SW 164 | CW 136 | GW 88 | -28 | NB]
Created: Fri Jul 7 16:27:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lx71h/fighting_binge_urges/
---
I guess I'm curious as to what you guys do? because I feel like there's largely two ways to deal with it, which is to either a) have something low-cal that you can eat (to fill the physical urge to eat with less calories) or b) distract yourself/otherwise ignore the urge.
I feel like I'm stuck with the former since I don't have enough willpower for the latter, but I try to make do with veggies and dip (except the dip definitely doesn't help the calories, but it's better than a bag of chips) or broth (except this doesn't really help when I want something that I actually chew to eat).
[Discussion] Weirdest triggers?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 16:00:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lx12a/weirdest_triggers/
---
You know what my favorite part about mental illness is? Everything is triggering! Okay, not really, obviously. But I seriously get triggered by the most random little things. For example, at the pool there are always little boys running around in swim trunks without shirts. *Every single one* is legitimately bonespo for me. Their ribcages are literally poking out and some of them have thighs the width of my forearm. And don't even get me started on the *collarbones*. Like, HOW are they so skeletal? It makes me so jealous, and then I laugh at myself for being so sick that I get jealous of skinny 3 to 12 year old boys.
Does anyone else have really weird triggers? ~~Pls share them with me so I can convince myself I'm not crazy~~ Let's all laugh together about how messed up we are <3
[Discussion] DAE use two scales?
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 117 | 19.5 | UGW 100 | 20F | 🍑: moodles]
Created: Fri Jul 7 15:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lwyfs/dae_use_two_scales/
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I don't know if this is common or I'm just weird but I have two electronic scales right next to each other to weigh myself. It started when one scale ran out of batteries so I ordered some online, but they were taking too long to arrive so I ran to the store and bought another scale while I was waiting 😒 I tell myself they serve different purposes because one tells body fat/muscle and bone mass etc and the other can switch between metrics but I only ever set them on lbs and care about the weight lol. Now whenever I step on the scale I absolutely have to check on the other one too, anyone else or just me ☹️
[Help] Thinking about doing IOP, can anyone give me insight as to how it went for them?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 15:41:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lwwof/thinking_about_doing_iop_can_anyone_give_me/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I can't wait for college.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 15:09:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lwpj2/i_cant_wait_for_college/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I got called skinny!!! [Rave]
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 15:07:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lwp1r/i_got_called_skinny_rave/
---
There's this guy on my course that I really fancy and basically today I told some of my coursemates and one of them said "the two tall skinny people together? Who would have guessed?"
I'm so happy rn and I think I'm going to ask this guy out for coffee sometime. (Tea for me because I'm too much of a weakling for coffee).
[Tip] This Hungry Girl shopping list is full of low-calorie brands for pretty much anything you'd ever need.
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Fri Jul 7 14:46:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lwk4a/this_hungry_girl_shopping_list_is_full_of/
---
http://www.hungry-girl.com/go-to-guides/healthy-hungry-girl-supermarket-list-twenty-seventeen
[Rant/Rave] 24 calories for the whole jar!!! I'm mostly fasting today and found these when grabbing low cal Gatorade. Such a happy. So far today I've had Diet Coke, these, and 45 cal Gatorade.
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 7 14:35:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lwhkk/24_calories_for_the_whole_jar_im_mostly_fasting/
---
https://i.redd.it/6l1w7l82e88z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The universe wants me to keep fasting.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Fri Jul 7 14:08:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lwb68/the_universe_wants_me_to_keep_fasting/
---
On mobile so flair as rant or rave
I always walk to the grocery story on my way to work and hang out in the dining area while I sip on a sugar free energy drink or a diet coke.
I discovered I had a little more money than I though and thought about getting one or two cheap things to give me strength to fast a couple more days.
Break a long fast into two split by a short day of restriction.
The one thing I want more than anything was vegan soy delicious brand cashew milk snickerdoodle ice cream. It was on sale a week or so ago at Safeway and well to my surprise, excitement and dismay the price went back up to normal. That enough was able to turn my off of getting any thing I am poor so I seldom buy anyone that isn't cheap or on sale.
The irony here is that halo top and arctic zero were both on reasonable steep sale but I am vegan and don't want to comprise on my morals or upset my stomach eating dairy.
So I guess I am continuing with my fast. Thank you universe.
63 hours so far...
Some of you were SUPER NICE and complimented my hands! And I was feeling kinda aesthetics-y so
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 13:58:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lw8uu/some_of_you_were_super_nice_and_complimented_my/
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https://i.redd.it/vtpu0juk788z.jpg
[Thinspo] I don’t know what happened to my account but it’s BlackGirlSteez and I’ve missed you guys.
/u/starvingcynicc
Created: Fri Jul 7 13:27:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lw1cf/i_dont_know_what_happened_to_my_account_but_its/
---
https://i.redd.it/06raizlx188z.jpg
[Tip] Can I take 2 bronkaid and drink one of the zero calorie monsters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 13:10:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lvx1j/can_i_take_2_bronkaid_and_drink_one_of_the_zero/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Best Walden farms products?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 13:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lvwp5/best_walden_farms_products/
---
[deleted]
[Thinspo] Idk what happened to my account but it’s saying that it doesn’t exist. It’s BlackGirlSteez and I’ve missed you guys.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 13:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lvvbr/idk_what_happened_to_my_account_but_its_saying/
---
https://i.redd.it/afgdcyypx78z.jpg
[Tip] Vegan Halo Top alternative??
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Fri Jul 7 12:34:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lvo24/vegan_halo_top_alternative/
---
My Facebook just popped up an ad for Wink ice cream pints and from what I read it appears to be a vegan Halo top.
Anyone try this? It's available at the closest Whole Foods and I totally plan on trying it but thought I'd spread the word.
[Rant/Rave] No, I don't want to share my food!!!!
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 12:31:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lvn9v/no_i_dont_want_to_share_my_food/
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I'm so tired of co-workers/friends asking to share my food. I spend hours shopping, researching, cooking and meticulously weighing every ingredient so I know exactly how many calories and macros are in my meals. Then everyone wants to try a bite and it fucks everything up!!!! If I say no then they act like I'm a bitch for not sharing, but if I say yes they take a massive bite and now I can't accurately track my macros and calories for the day. I know this seems petty but it really bothers me. Anyone else?
[Other] A recent grocery discovery
/u/theloneravioli
Created: Fri Jul 7 12:07:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lvh41/a_recent_grocery_discovery/
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http://i.imgur.com/MpR3m4H.jpg
[Discussion] Decided to check out "pro ana" and "ana tips" tags on tumblr
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Fri Jul 7 11:34:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lv8sl/decided_to_check_out_pro_ana_and_ana_tips_tags_on/
---
Jesus fucking Christ, that's a horrible community. I cannot believe that there people actively writing what they call "meanspo" to encourage each other to slowly kill themselves. My heart breaks knowing that there are young girls and boys out there reading that, and it hurts knowing that I used to love to read that stuff. :(
[Help] My boyfriend called my fat
/u/devotchkaa
Created: Fri Jul 7 11:31:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lv824/my_boyfriend_called_my_fat/
---
Hey everyone I have a bit of a weird relationship, we've been friends for years but started dating each other last November. Nothing ever happened between me and my then friend before that but everyone joked that we'd end up together.
Anyway, whilst we were just friends he had a different girlfriend who was not a fan of me at all. From what he's told me she was quite insecure about her looks and would argue with him about us being friends. Now I get why she was worried because obviously her concerns were valid (we got together about 3 months after they ended) but this week she has started messaging me out of the blue. She's told me that whilst they were together my boyfriend called me fat to make her feel better during on of their arguments about me. I've asked him about this and he didn't deny that he'd told her I 'put on weight' but didn't mean anything by it.
At my biggest I was still BMI 26 and he KNOWS I've struggled with bulimia since I was 16. I'm just so hurt by this comment, but I don't know if I'm just overreacting as I honestly don't know how to deal with it. Do any of you have any advice?
[Help] this is gonna be tmi (it's abt poops)
/u/blxrrysquid [5'5" | 96.5lbs | 16.1 | gw: 90lbs | trans man]
Created: Fri Jul 7 11:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lv6d5/this_is_gonna_be_tmi_its_abt_poops/
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i'm on mobile - mods can you flare this as necessary
recently i've been doing a lot of fasting (partly intentional, partly not because of a medication i'm on) with occasional days where i eat probably 800cal max, and on those days i'll probably take a diet pill. i've also been pretty good with drinking water but lately i've been slacking a little bit and got dehydrated.
i've been having really runny diarrhea since starting to take the diet pills and replacing most of my intake with water and i understand why that would happen. but it literally just happened again (like straight poop colored liquid it was gross) and i'm confused because i haven't taken any diet pills recently and i've been dehydrated so like???? why is this happening?????? aaaaa????
does anyone have any insight on what's going on pls help
[Rant/Rave] Am I just greedy? Plus a rant
/u/moonbear15
Created: Fri Jul 7 11:23:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lv62z/am_i_just_greedy_plus_a_rant/
---
Lately I've been having this thinking, what if it's just me being greedy and taking the easy way out? During my binging episodes or after a meal, I'd think something like, "It's all going to come out later, what's 1 more bag of potato chips?"
Like in my head I know I will be purging it all out, so I can eat anything and everything I want now. Does anyone have this thought before?
---
Before, I was weighing 192lbs. Comments I would get from my family on a regular basis-
Me, coming home from work: Hi Mom
Mom: Wow you are so fat/You look disgusting/When will you lose weight
(She says this almost every day)
Dad: Any girl that weighs more than 130lbs is considered a man
Siblings during an argument: Shut up/Die, fatass
After losing ~70lbs through restricting calories which developed into binging/purging, these are the comments I get, mainly from my mom.
"You look so pale, you should see a doctor"
"You're too thin (5'2, 121lbs is perfectly normal!!!)"
"Your butt is flat"
"You have no boobs"
"You still need to do something about your calves"
Usually I just let it slide, try not to let their comments bother me. But there was something about this last comment that just annoyed me so much. We were just walking in the mall, she was holding on to my arm when...
Mom: OMG you have no muscles. Your skin is loose. *pinches arm* YUCK.
Me: Do you even understand how rude you are?
Mom: But it's true
Me: I don't need your comments about my body, do you know how rude you are being right now?
Mom: (silent, doesn't want to admit that she's wrong)
I just walked away. I can never win guys. I live at home and have a good relationship with my family, really I do. It's just that they (esp my mom) has no filter on how their words can affect someone.
-rant over-
[Rant/Rave] LAUGHING AT OLD POSTS
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Fri Jul 7 11:20:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lv59o/laughing_at_old_posts/
---
I can't believe how sad I was that my boyfriend didn't notice my 12 lb loss over 4 months ago. I laugh at myself then, LAUGH.
BECAUSE I'VE LOST OVER 40 LBS AND HE STILL BARELY NOTICES LMAO ISN'T THAT TERRIFIC LIKE I'M STARTING TO FIT BACK INTO MY "Regular Weight™" CLOTHES AND HE'S STILL LIKE "oh, are you losing? cool, i guess i see it some in your face."
THIS IS FINE I'M FINE NO WORRIES HERE
*urge to die intensifies*
[Discussion] How much cardio do you do per week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 11:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lv30y/how_much_cardio_do_you_do_per_week/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i asked for a light mocha frappuchino they made me a white mocha one
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | CW:180 | HW: 232 | | GW1: 175 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 10:25:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lus0m/i_asked_for_a_light_mocha_frappuchino_they_made/
---
i left it on a trash can because holding it makes me wanna cry also that's a fucking 6$ drink
edit: in other horrible news apparently i left basically a page of my journal of me trying to talk myself out of a binge at work and i think my boss found it kill me please
[Help] How is this zero calories with 3% juice?
/u/smoothcoat
Created: Fri Jul 7 10:20:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6luqu0/how_is_this_zero_calories_with_3_juice/
---
https://i.redd.it/ovy0u6wn478z.jpg
[Other] Body Dysmorphia
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Fri Jul 7 09:53:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lujxx/body_dysmorphia/
---
http://i.imgur.com/TR9hmpv.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by skinny people?
/u/Hellah8ed [5'11 | 17.7| 127lbs | M]
Created: Fri Jul 7 09:50:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6luj4t/triggered_by_skinny_people/
---
Every time I feel a bit satisfied with my current weight and size, my selfconfidence completely crumbles if I meet anyone/walk past anyone (whether I know them or not) who's thinner than me. I freak out, feel obese compared to the person and it's gotten to the point where, if I'm in the same room as some person who's skinnier than me, I leave. I don't go to events, if I know that someone skinnier is also attending said event. So whenever I see someone skinnier on the streets or whatever, I get triggered and lose all my confidence, become repulsed yet again with my body and start losing weight again. Does anyone else experience something akin to this? I refuse to share this with anyone I know, because they'll say I'm ridiculous and claim that "nono, you're waay skinnier than that person" which I know is a ******* lie!
.. if this offends anyone or is against the rules, I'm horribly sorry. I have a hard time understanding what's allowed and not allowed to post here.
[Discussion] Let's talk laxatives.
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Fri Jul 7 09:34:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lufhy/lets_talk_laxatives/
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Dying. Drank 1 mug of ONE FUCKING TEA BAG of senna laxative tea and ohmygod my stomach feels like it's revolting. I read a little about how some laxatives work by irritating the bowels but others work by drawing moisture to the stool (is this correct)?
I like senna because it's easy to prepare, easy to swallow and flavor is the most pleasant so far. And, I need to poop. I need to poop because all I ever eat is mostly dark leafy greens and Coke Zero and I am so constipated. :(
send help. sitting in class next to a cute guy and it's like o m g I h a t e m y l i f e
What are some alternatives I can do? I drank this tea last night well over 8 hours ago. I had no symptoms until now. It's 11am.
[Tip] The BEST shiritaki noodle recipe you'll ever find
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Fri Jul 7 09:17:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lubc6/the_best_shiritaki_noodle_recipe_youll_ever_find/
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This tastes super greasy and completely like ramen!
What you'll need: 1 boullion cube, 1 packet of shiritaki noodles.
Drain the shiritaki noodles, heat the shiritaki noodles up in a pan, push them around a bit. Crumble your boullion cube of choice in and keep stirring with a fork until you can't see any more bits. Serve.
The shiritaki noodles will have absorbed all the flavor AND have gotten softer. This dish came out at around 50 kcals for me :)
[Discussion] DAE know that being thinner won't magically make you any happier... but you just can NOT stop?
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Fri Jul 7 08:47:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lu4ir/dae_know_that_being_thinner_wont_magically_make/
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I know that losing 10 lbs is not going to make me feel any better about myself. My body dysmorphia is too bad to stop when I look "good", because I'll always look at myself and see something else. This entire endeavor is fruitless, but is never fleeting.
[Help] Help!!! Already ate way more than my calories for the day and now my family's taking me out for dinner and I can't get out of it! What do i do? :/
/u/callmeatheorist
Created: Fri Jul 7 08:42:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lu3eq/help_already_ate_way_more_than_my_calories_for/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lu3eq/help_already_ate_way_more_than_my_calories_for/
[Rant/Rave] Good morning from the Central time zone
/u/Minionhunter [5'6" | CW:172 | UGW:130 | F27]
Created: Fri Jul 7 08:24:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ltz63/good_morning_from_the_central_time_zone/
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Wanted to share a little happiness. This morning I logged back in to My Fitness Pal and completed my entry for yesterday. It's been a very very long time since I got the wonderful "You're not eating enough calories" message. I knew I felt better this morning and to log back in and see that ~300 deficit is making my day.
Baby steps 🙏🏻
Happy Friday babies
[Other] I wish I had some sort of mental device that let me know other people's weights/BMI, etc.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Fri Jul 7 08:12:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ltwj1/i_wish_i_had_some_sort_of_mental_device_that_let/
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I have a sick obsession with needing to know the weight/BMI of people I see as thinner than me. It's like, I need to fucking know. There's this woman at work who probably has a BMI of like 15, and is a marathon runner. I feel like I cannot recover if she can be that thin and functional. Like, what's the fucking point.
She leaves in August. I am counting down the days. I feel like I can't be around her because the jealousy is eating so much of my mental energy. But if I could just know her weight, it would ease the obsession because then at least, I could secretly compete...
[Rant/Rave] I'm never going to be skinny
/u/i-have-8-nickels
Created: Fri Jul 7 07:37:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ltoyw/im_never_going_to_be_skinny/
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I'm way bigger than a lot of the people here. I'm 29 and 5'7" and 200 lbs. That's a BMI of like 32.4.
I can restrict and fast with the best of them but I only lose like ten pounds and then I binge my way back up.
Rinse and repeat for 15 years. .
I'm pathetic.
[Rant/Rave] BEST GROCERIES?!
/u/gracewisc [5'6 | 166lbs | 26.8 | -36lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 07:32:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ltnxg/best_groceries/
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I live in the U.S. If that matters, but I really want some new low cal grocery and 0 cal drink options! All the grocery haul photos have actually made me excited to go shopping today.
[Discussion] Weird TMI question.
/u/hvrdtimes
Created: Fri Jul 7 07:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lti9x/weird_tmi_question/
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Long time lurker, first time poster blah blah blah.
So, the weirdest thing is happening right now. I recently have gone full relapse, going from 1500-2000 (and sometimes more, ugh) calories per day to anywhere 400-800. But for some reason... I'm pooping more? Like twice as much?
I don't understand how or why that is happening. Normally during restricting periods I could go a week without going, lately I've been going two times daily. While eating more I went every other day generally.
Has this happened to anyone else?
[Discussion] How do you guys take so many vitamins on an empty stomach?
/u/whataboutjam [5'7" | CW 140 | BMI 21.85 | GW 115 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 06:58:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ltgyl/how_do_you_guys_take_so_many_vitamins_on_an_empty/
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Hi! Been lurking here a bit but decided to make a separate account to post.
I see people on here just taking vitamins in the morning as breakfast but any time I take a pill without food I feel nauseous. I usually do IF through the day, eat dinner, and then take my vitamins/supplements after eating. I broke my ankle a couple months ago and am on the tail end of recovery from that (was able to eat near maintenance through that but I can't stand it anymore) so I tried to take extra calcium this morning and I feel so sick, which I hate. I would rather be starving with stomach pains than feel nauseous. Who else deals with this? How do you handle it?
[Help] Questions
/u/randiont
Created: Fri Jul 7 06:22:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ltafz/questions/
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I'm currently admitted to the psychiatri for unrelated reasons, however there's two girls out here suffering from an eating disorder and has been forced to stay here. They have to eat 5-6 times a day.
Now my question is this; why would they be crying and screaming and refusing to so much as carrying their own plate to the table? I'm not trying to sound mean I'm just genuinely curious. I understand they're going through a really tough time and therefore I don't want to belittle them. It's difficult to talk to them about any of this, so I wanted to ask in here whether some of you may know?
Thank you in advance.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! July 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 7 06:13:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lt8qj/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_july/
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This is the weekly picture thread for July 07, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 07, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 7 06:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lt8pi/daily_food_diary_july_07_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 07, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] What excuses do you use for fasting?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 05:54:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lt5gz/what_excuses_do_you_use_for_fasting/
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My sister visited yesterday and complained that she hadn't eaten in (literally) 3 days due to stress and had nothing but cigarettes and tea. Obviously, ED brain got kicked into high gear and now I'm fasting out of spite.
I finish school in 2 weeks and was planning on fasting whenever I could over the summer but I feel like I set a reasonable yet unrealistic goal of fasting (you guessed it) 3 days a week.
The only problem is I'm not sure what excuses I can use. My mum works part-time so she's out for most of the day and back at noon or sometimes the whole day if she's with my sister.
We're Muslim so I can't tell her I'm fasting and have her see me chugging water like air, but I also can't tell her I've eaten because it's only us.
So my question to you guys is: what excuses do you guys use?
[Help] Breaking a 56 hour fast?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Fri Jul 7 05:31:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lt1se/breaking_a_56_hour_fast/
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I never fast for this long and now I'm not sure how to break it without a) binging or b) hurting myself. Anyone have advice? Ideal foods?
[Discussion] A shoutout to some my favorite zero calorie sweeteners
/u/Profeshed
Created: Fri Jul 7 04:52:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lsvxb/a_shoutout_to_some_my_favorite_zero_calorie/
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Sukrin gold: this tastes *exactly* like brown sugar. I love it in oatmeal, dry cardboard cereal (makes super low calorie bland nasty cereal taste godly when mixed in with milk. Other sweeteners just don't cut it)
Hands down my favorite by a mile. My mind was blown by how tasty it is.
Sukrin also sells a regular sugar called Sukrin: 1 that is also fantastic. It ranks as well as swerve for me, maybe marginally better but I haven't tested them side by side enough to notice a difference.
Liquid stevia: first of all its pure (no dextrose or other sweeteners) and it dissolves so amazingly in tea. So I use it for my tea or my coffee in the morning (along with hazelnut or almond extract, so good 😊)
Special shoutout to Torani peach syrup. Peach yogurt was my jam. I love that stuff, but hadn't touched it in years because the macros are crap and it's full of sugar. One day I discovered that if you pour sugar free peach Torani syrup into fat fee Greek yogurt, what you get is the same taste and consistency of Yoplait. It was so awesome. And it has so much protein which keeps me full. I'm sure other flavors would work, but I've only tried peach.
Another shoutout to something that isn't zero calorie, but I feel like it has a place here anyway since I'm sharing my favorites and I'm obsessed with this one:
I use premier protein shakes as coffee creamer. They're already sweet, super creamy, basically pure protein, and there are so many variations for favors. I hate the taste of almond milk so I never got into using that for my coffee. Also, you can microwave premier protein shakes and they won't clump(!!!!). My favorite combos: chocolate shake, peppermint extract (peppermint mocha). Vanilla or banana shake and hazelnut extract. Vanilla shake and cinnamon/pumpkin spice.
Share your favorites!!
[Rant/Rave] Really nervous about moving out from home...
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Fri Jul 7 04:41:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lsudd/really_nervous_about_moving_out_from_home/
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So, I'm going into 'foster—care' (not what it is, but the best translation I can find) and basically I'm, by choice, going to live at an institution instead of at home. I can't stand being around my mom due to a trauma, she knowingly/unknowingly(depending on who you ask lol) gave me. It's been a hell of anxiety attacks and the situation at home has been so stressful and dysfunctional, that I have to leave, if not for the sake of me, then for the sake of my little sister.
It all feels really overwhelming. I've checked through the mealplans and they all seems relatively 'safe'(lots of veggies, and they've said they'll let me make oatmeal, if having to eat the food they're serving becomes too stressful) however, the meal times are COMPLETELY different from my old times and I'll have to eat with people, which I haven't been able to do without crying(except for with a few people)
I also have to move my mealtimes about 2—3 hours. They eat dinner SUPER late, around the time where I usually go to bed. I'm used to eating breakfast at around 4 AM, where I'm ravenous™ but I'm not allowed out until four hours later than that. And also, the fact that there are people that is gonna be cooking for me and putting who knows what amount of oil in the food.
They also take your phone at 11PM and give it back at 8AM, which means I'll have absolutely nothing to do in those four hours where I'm not allowed out.
If anyone has any advice or have been in the same situation, please comment.
Flair: rant/rave
[Help] Any Fitbit users here??
/u/sibr
Created: Fri Jul 7 04:33:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lst6p/any_fitbit_users_here/
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My Fitbit is arriving today and I'm suuuuper excited about it for tracking my calories/exercise, but I've heard that the calorie estimates that it gives for exercise and activity can be pretty inaccurate sometimes? Do any of you guys have any experience with this? Or have you found it works well?
I'm thinking of knocking off like 5-10% of the calorie estimates it gives me just to be safe
[Help] How to deal with increased caffeine keeping me from sleeping?
/u/Profeshed
Created: Fri Jul 7 04:22:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lsrs1/how_to_deal_with_increased_caffeine_keeping_me/
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I have a hard time getting sleepy and putting myself to bed as it is. Taking melatonin helps, but I have a hard limit of taking 1mg (more than that messes up my sleep).
I've started drinking 3 cups (from just 1) of coffee per day to kill my appetite later in the day which is when I usually screw up. But I've been staying up too late the last few nights :/ and I worry it's going to get worse if I don't either find something to make me sleepy that won't make me groggy in the morning, or just quit the extra caffeine. I'm loving the extra caffeine for now so I'm hoping there's a solution. What do you guys do?
[Rant/Rave] Off topic as fuck, death related
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Fri Jul 7 04:18:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lsr93/off_topic_as_fuck_death_related/
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I just found out that two days ago, someone I care about and have looked up to passed away in her sleep
She had SEVERE complications from her pregnancy, and her baby boy was hella preemie, and nearly died. She JUST got to FINALLY take him home a few days ago goddamnit she was supposed to get to be happy and raise him and now he has no mommy and the world lost a beautiful wonderful person who never wished anyone harm and always had a kind word to say about everyone, even when they were talking shit about her
I'm far from okay
There's still a SHITLOAD of bills from the pregnancy and from her son being in the NICU for months. If ANY of y'all are willing to donate to their GoFundMe please let me know. I'll PM you the link. Idgaf if it means y'all know what city I'm in I just want her son to have a good life. He's with his grandma and is in wonderful hands, but she's only one woman.
Again please please let me know if you are able. I'm sorry, and if this is not allowed please let me know
I'm not okay, this is not okay
[Rant/Rave] I think I am going to try to slow down.
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Fri Jul 7 03:29:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lskc3/i_think_i_am_going_to_try_to_slow_down/
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This scares the fuck out of me. Eating more on purpose. I've lost a fair bit of weight since April (15kgish??) and it hasn't gone unnoticed. I know that if I keep losing at the same rate I will lose too much and I'll ruin everything. So I'm thinking about slowing down to 1200 per day. This is still significantly below my TDEE. I worked out on losertown that if I eat 1200 per day and be sedentary until August I'll (theoretically) weigh 55kg. Well I'm not sedentary at all but ok. That seems fine right. Doable. Wait since when was 55kg my goal weight? Last time I checked it was 58 lmao help tho. 🤔🙃
Slowing down scares me. Cos progress. Idk. Idk idk idk. I really want to. Or I think I need to. But it means I have to eat lots lots more at night because eating over 150cal at lunch at work gives me too much anxiety???? And eating in the morning makes me a literal Very Hungry Caterpillar that fucking morphs into a binge monster at dusk.
IDK FUCK having to make food related decisions literally freezes my brain and I'm incapable of making a choice??????? Today I walked around all lunch break looking for something low cal and ended up getting two consecutive coffees from two different places smh.
Or *maybe* I could eat 1000 during the weekdays and then 1700 each day on the weekend?? That's the same amount but means I don't have to eat heaps at work. Hmm.
Heck. How do I manage myself y'all.
[Rant/Rave] I got a job in a grocery shop
/u/Rosalie_aqua [5'3" | 101.6 | 18.0 | GW 100 | 18F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 03:09:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lshon/i_got_a_job_in_a_grocery_shop/
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It's amazing! I work around food the whole time, I get to look at each item and just walk around the food shop and staring at everything. I love seeing all of the products, I work 3 until midnight and I get to skip dinner easily, go straight to sleep when I get home and get paid. Ugh life's good 😂
[Discussion] Has anyone else here tried eating low-carb? It seems to seriously kill the junk food cravings
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 120 | GW: 100]
Created: Fri Jul 7 02:13:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lsaga/has_anyone_else_here_tried_eating_lowcarb_it/
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**Long post ahead.**
**TL;DR: Tried eating high-protein, started feeling full for once (despite still restricting), never want junk food anymore even though I've always loved it.**
Basically, I've been trying to restrict at a more resonable rate lately just so I could feel more energetic and be able to exercise. I looked up my TDEE and opted for 600 calorie deficit. I also decided to start tracking my macros and this is where things got different.
All the calculators list my recommended protein intake as at least 100 grams per day. That's A LOT when you are trying to eat 900-1000 calories a day.
So I purchased some whey and started eating meat daily. And lo and behold, after a couple of days I realised that I am now actually capable of feeling full.
Before that I used to crave junk food all of the time, constantly thinking about chocolate or burgers, obsessively buying huge amount of sweets I never ate, spending hours in a grocery store just circling aroung the isles because I wanted so much stuff and couldn't have any of it. Now I almost never want anything outside of my planned meals. My brain just sort of goes "Nah, we already ate and it was really nice, we don't need more". Almost as if I were a normal person, you guys!
I don't know if that's actually a physical effect or just psychological. I mean, my meals also look and feel much more like normal meals now and that tends to reduce a lot of food-related anxiety. The down side of it, though, is that now I'm obsessively tracking every single little thing I eat and get really uncomfortable if I can't.
So, I'm not declaring low-carb/high-protein diet a solution of any kind, of course. But I'm curious if anyone here had similar experiences.
[Rant/Rave] Not eating doesn't seem like a weight thing anymore.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 7 01:38:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ls61c/not_eating_doesnt_seem_like_a_weight_thing_anymore/
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[deleted]
[Goal] I made it through today!!!!
/u/mikey-way [2 scared 2 weigh myself wooo]
Created: Fri Jul 7 01:09:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ls20p/i_made_it_through_today/
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I DID IT!! I'm currently 52 hours into my fast!!
I was so worried I would end up eating today, or that my mom would make me eat somehow— especially when it turned out there were crepes for breakfast.... sigh. Oh well. There's always time for them later.
Anyway, I didn't eat at all! And my mom ended up barely being home, so I lied and said I ate some crepes, which no one could prove otherwise. Then I was out of the house from 5 to 9, and that was awesome cause I drank a bunch of 0 cal monster and walked around. Then I just told my mom I had dinner while I was out :)
Oh and by the way, going 52 hours with only 96 oz of 0 cal monster as sustenance is... fuckin' strange. I wouldn't really recommend it.
But anyway, I can't wait to wake up and be at 60 hours! I've never made it that long :D
[Discussion] High school reunion... yep I'm old!
/u/littlebirdbones [5'4" | 150.4 | 25.8 | not enough | F | GW: 110]
Created: Fri Jul 7 00:58:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ls0be/high_school_reunion_yep_im_old/
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A few things to note here:
1) 10 year high school reunion is 22 days away.
2) if I lose 13 pounds by then.. I'll be at my lowest high school weight.
3) 13 pounds in 22 days is not going to happen (but it could! Says my ED)
4) part of me is looking forward to seeing how fat everyone is. The other part of me is terrified to see the people that aren't fat anymore... or are still smaller than me. Yes I know this is mean.. but comparing bodies is a thing for me.
Fll
That's all for now ž
[Rant/Rave] My body a dark sense of humour
/u/Kaibutsu-chi [163cm | Fat AF | F]
Created: Fri Jul 7 00:41:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrxsp/my_body_a_dark_sense_of_humour/
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Obligatory on mobile, can't flair but I'd call this a rant I suppose.
Earlier today, it would not let me purge my massive dinner.
It's currently 2:37am. I just drank some diet coke, my burped caused me to throw up everything I just drank 🖕🖕
[Discussion] Has anyone else start to feel alone in this sub...
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Fri Jul 7 00:30:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrw4t/has_anyone_else_start_to_feel_alone_in_this_sub/
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Or is it just me
I am about ready to leave and try to make the best of my life while also being bulimic
It's becoming more lonelier and I'm having the less need to share and find common ground, support, and camaraderie with people
Home isn't home here anymore but I'm still lurkin like a ghost lol
Loneliness lol👌🏻
[Discussion] Do you sometimes think about how stupid are our problems?
/u/Nutx33 [5'3'' | CW:115 | GW: 105 💃🏼 | 19F 👑]
Created: Thu Jul 6 23:57:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrr79/do_you_sometimes_think_about_how_stupid_are_our/
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I mean, eating disorders are serious and relevant, but sometimes, during other serious bad or good times in my life (death of the beloved one or an amazing meeting with boyfriend) it strikes me how idiotic some of my habits or thoughts are. Why I obsess over the caloric meal or missed gym class, if my relative has a disaese/my boyfriend is wonderful and loves me?
Do you understand? :)
[Discussion] DAE stresses about the amount of fruits in the house?
/u/guniver [5'2 | CW 99lbs | BMI 18.35 | GW 92lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 6 23:20:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrl8f/dae_stresses_about_the_amount_of_fruits_in_the/
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My parents LOVE LOVE LOVE to buy so much fruits which we couldn't finish. Plus our family friends and relatives love to give us fruits too. Now my home has tons of bananas, guavas, papayas, pineapples, mangoes, watermelons, avocados, cherries, grapes. Seeing them ripen, I can't help stressing about how they're spoiling soon and going to waste. So sometimes I would eat some due to that stress, which messes with my calories and no carb rules. Especially bananas. Horrible horrible calories but tasty bananas.
Yesterday my mum bought more avocados for me, even when there's still some left in the fridge. The thing is I am the only one who eat avocados. So if they were wasted, it's totally on me. I feel bad because avocados don't come cheap. I told them but they're so into buying fruits omg. They just think it'll be good since I told them I'm on a 'diet' and they're on a health streak. Avocados are SO DENSE in calories. :( :( :(
P/s: I can't do a fruit diet or fruit mono either (because living with parents 🙄) so the fruits actually counts as snacks not meals. I hope I can though because I love fruits..
I don't think there's a solution to this, just wanna know if anyone stresses about small things like this
[Discussion] How did your ED start?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 23:09:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrjkk/how_did_your_ed_start/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Tomorrow is only the beginning
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:53:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrgvy/tomorrow_is_only_the_beginning/
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On mobile, so no flair. So since I graduated college and haven't found a job, all I do is sit around the house all day literally doing nothing. I've managed to gain a ridiculous amount of weight doing nothing, so tomorrow is the start of a 3 day fast and intense restricting from then on. I'm excited and reading Wintergirls again to try to get some inspiration to get through the next few days.
[Other] RE: having a code so we can find each other
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:43:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrf5d/re_having_a_code_so_we_can_find_each_other/
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[deleted]
[Humor] I'm blacked out drunk rn (god bless autocorrect) and I've only ever restricted but tonight I shoved my fingers down my throat
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:39:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrei7/im_blacked_out_drunk_rn_god_bless_autocorrect_and/
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I tried to purge and I fucking failed because I have no gag reflex. I want to vomit up the alcohol I drank. I'm such a fucking failure. Vomiting isn't that goddamn hard. I don't know why I suck at everything.
[Help] Working in food
/u/horrorhippy [5'3 | 94 | 16.65 | 4 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:39:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrei0/working_in_food/
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I used to work at Subway and now I work at Dunkin Donuts. It's awful to be surrounded by food all day when I'm trying to restrict. Then I also work retail in a mall and every break I usually go grab food even though I've already mindlessly ate a donut or two earlier. Anybody have any ideas on how to help me avoid the bagels, croissants and donuts I'm surrounded by? And maybe also when I'm on break at my other job?
[Rant/Rave] My friend told me how exams made her loose 3kg. Fuck me guys. Just fuck me.
/u/Jellygator0
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:26:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lrc57/my_friend_told_me_how_exams_made_her_loose_3kg/
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...I put on 3kg
[Help] 20 lbs in 2 months?
/u/notlion [5'9.5" | 21.8 | 24F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:16:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lracy/20_lbs_in_2_months/
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Someone please tell me I can lose 20lbs by August 26th. Eeeeeek. Oh and magically become beautiful. Thaaaanks.
[Discussion] Hypothetical question, probably just me being dumb
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:10:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lr9by/hypothetical_question_probably_just_me_being_dumb/
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If I were to hypothetically maintain a slightly underweight BMI by eating to match my TDEE, actively making sure I'm not eating too little or too much, would I be "recovered"?
I know that would be really hard to do, but in my dream land would that be considered socially acceptable??
I've been looking at all this stuff recently like 1200isplenty and weight loss people on YouTube and they are meticulous about counting calories and careful about foods they eat and what not. Why are we so different? (This is rhetorical I know we are a lil crazy about it and go to extremes)
But if I was eating only nutritious food and maintaining at slightly underweight (a weight that I honestly feel I have more energy at), that's like pretty okay right?
[Other] Found a song that speaks strongly to the darkest times of my EDO (inpatient, etc.)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 22:09:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lr92j/found_a_song_that_speaks_strongly_to_the_darkest/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I don't know if I have an ED or not
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 21:56:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lr6ot/i_dont_know_if_i_have_an_ed_or_not/
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[deleted]
[Other] Post-nap.. selfie?
/u/celestulle [173cm | 53.6kg | 17.7 | -8.3kg | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 21:51:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lr5uk/postnap_selfie/
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https://i.redd.it/8ae8ghqye38z.jpg
[Help] Serious questions about self-care
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 21:19:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqzza/serious_questions_about_selfcare/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I tried Kelp Noodles
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 20:44:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqted/i_tried_kelp_noodles/
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So just now i attempted to make like a kelp noodle stir fry with veggies. If you don't know what kelp noodles are they are a "noodle" made from seaweed. but noodle is not really a great word for them. I would call them kelp crunchies. I was so excited to have a low cal stir fry option because I normally like stir fry with rice but rices calories are like **Through the roof!** But it was just not what I was expecting. I don't know if I was just aiming to high or I messed up making them and should have done a different recipe, but I was sad as my low cal stir fry option went down the drain (not literally)
[Rant/Rave] Stress eating today and makes me want to eat more.
/u/skydiver89
Created: Thu Jul 6 20:36:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqrrk/stress_eating_today_and_makes_me_want_to_eat_more/
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Ugh....been eating wayyyyy too much pizza this week. I've gone up 6 lbs. I feel disgusting.
Today I graduated from DBT, so I might be stress eating, but I feel like I ate too much today. Cream of wheat for breakfast, a piece of cake, one starbursts, spicy chicken wrap, small chili with cheese, peanut butter milkshake, Celeste personal pizza, medium ginger ale, and a Hershey's chocolate bar. I normally don't eat this much. Then I remember every time I ate, I was a little hungry. Ugh. I hate being hungry. I feel out of control right now.
I hope tomorrow isn't like today. I hope I can stay under 1,000 calories. Thinking about taking a laxative...
[Rant/Rave] Why do I always bake when I'm fasting????
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 20:33:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqr95/why_do_i_always_bake_when_im_fasting/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Sometimes I feel alone as a guy on this thread... Are there any guys out there?
/u/wombtrader
Created: Thu Jul 6 20:23:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqp9x/sometimes_i_feel_alone_as_a_guy_on_this_thread/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqp9x/sometimes_i_feel_alone_as_a_guy_on_this_thread/
[Discussion] [Discussion] how do you measure calories burned from exercise?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 20:18:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqofy/discussion_how_do_you_measure_calories_burned/
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I'm asking because I know workout machines are notorious for being inaccurate and I think mine is actually short changing me. I ran pretty hard for around seven miles today, but the machine only said I burned 350 calories. Which is fine, that's totally an amount I'm happy with since today is a fasted exercise day, but someone my size should be burning at least 420 calories just from walking that far, and that's a conservative estimate (60 cal/mile- usually I average more like 65-70 per mile walking). So did the machine screw up the distance, the calories, or am I thinking about this wrong? How do you calculate your exercise calories?
[Rant/Rave] I am a piece of shiiiiiiiiiiit who can't committt
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW151 | GW115 | BMI 24.6 | 25F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 20:18:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqob5/i_am_a_piece_of_shiiiiiiiiiiit_who_cant_committt/
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You know what, uck this. I am so tired. I had like 4 pieces of pizza and some cake tonight after eating fucking carbs and sugars all day. I am never going to get skinnier and I am just going to keep hating myself. I saw pictures of myself and I honestly feel suicidal in how fucking uggers I look. I can't afford therapy, even with insurance because my deductible is fucking 2600. So everything is paid for out of pocket until then. I'm not actively restricting and I am not really BINGE binging, just eating between 100-500 over my TDEE, so I am gaining. I'm so scared to weigh myself and I am just not going to do it until August. Just try for this month to not be a piece of shit. EXCEPT I HAVE A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT ON MONDAY SO L-O-L I'll see my weight then and I am so scared. I am too ugly. I just wish I could commit to restriction. All I do is fail.
[Rant/Rave] Can't eat without alcohol
/u/crazycatlady01
Created: Thu Jul 6 19:12:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqbn9/cant_eat_without_alcohol/
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I can only eat over 200 calories at one time when I drink alcohol, which is almost every night. I feel like my ED has made me an alcoholic. Eating food = being buzzed/drunk. I'm a fairly successful professional, yet I am at best, a high functioning alcoholic with an ED.
Also, everyone in this community seems so sweet. I've "lurked" here over two years. I relate to so much of the content here it's unreal. Even if no one responds to this, thank each and every one of you for being you, and helping people like me (us?) feel a little more sane and a part of this world.
[Tip] Japanese Snow Mochi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 19:12:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lqblx/japanese_snow_mochi/
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[deleted]
[Tip] SO I HEARD UR CRAVING TACOS
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Thu Jul 6 19:03:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq9pu/so_i_heard_ur_craving_tacos/
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WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT?! BUCKLE UP BITCHES I HAVE A VEGETARIAN AND LOW CAL RECIPE COMING UR MOTHERFUCKING WAY.
Get some cauliflower rice and microwave 2 cups of that shit. Oh yeah baby, make it nice and hot! Mmmmmm steamy and only 70 calories.
Oh hELL YEAH VEGETABLES. Now take your handy dandy Great Value taco seasoning packet. That shit was ridiculously inexpensive, you feel me? Love walmart. Sprinkle a quarter of that packet on there. 30 calories.
Now you're gonna get those corn tortillas from your pantry. Mhmm, 50 cal a piece. But we're on a caloric budget, so we only have time (and calories) for 2 of those shits. Get those shits out and CLOSE THE BAG BEFORE YOU DEVOUR ALL OF THEM IN ONE SITTING LIKE A FUCKING MONSTER (almost been there done that i feel u)
NOW WHAT? WE FINNA ACCESSORIZE THAT BITCH. JALAPENOS SALSA LETTUCE ALLLLL DAT. You can load that sucker up with hella accessories for MAYBE 60 cal.
OH SO YOU SAY THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? Well guess what, you can throw on some more shit to make it slightly better (but definitely adds some calories). PUT SOME CHEESE ON THERE. 110 cal. OH YEAH BITCH ADD SOME VEGGIE REFRIED BEANS. Just 1/4 of a cup though, and it's 60 cal. ^(You want sour cream? well get the fuck out sour cream is gross.)
Anyway, this recipe creates a FUCKTON of spiced cauliflower rice (more than enough for those tortillas so you get a side of rice too). Without the beans/cheese, it's MAX 260 calories and that's if you use a ton of salsa. With cheese and beans, that's a super satisfying meal (like, enough for leftovers) for 430 calories.
[Goal] 24 hours down, 24 to go
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Thu Jul 6 19:02:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq9l0/24_hours_down_24_to_go/
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So I'm 24 hours into my 48 hour fast and I've been tempted a bit today but it's not too bad. I usually eat at night so I'm feeling it tonight for sure but I know tomorrow will be easy. I was even able to convince the boyfriend to eat out without me. So no tempting food in the house.
I can do this. Total calories for the day are 90 (Because that's how much my vitamin is)
[Discussion] Gummy Recommendations
/u/kawaii_garbo [5'6" | CW: 122.8 | BMI: 19.9 | -24.2 | f]
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:50:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq73n/gummy_recommendations/
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On mobile can you flair as Help please?
This is kind of stupid but I'm obsessed with gummies/fruit snacks, always have been. I crave them and their chewiness all day. Sometimes I splurge calories on Haribo gummy bears but it's impossible for me not to eat them all in one sitting. So I'm asking if anyone knows of any low-calorie gummy snacks, or recipes to make at home! Thanks in advance.
[Discussion] Where in your body do you notice weight loss the fastest?
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:47:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq6dl/where_in_your_body_do_you_notice_weight_loss_the/
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So after deciding to “recover” (haha not) by binging my way up around 20lbs from my lowest weight over the course of a year, something inside me snapped and I’ve gone back to heavy restriction for the past month or so.
I’m starting to see weight loss in the strangest parts of my body though, like my knees??? To me that’s the only place I can see obvious weight loss, I mean my clothes fit better but the rest of my body still looks the same.
So my question to you guys, is where to you see weight loss first?
[Humor] That time I had a near erotic dream about fettuccine alfredo..
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:34:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq41t/that_time_i_had_a_near_erotic_dream_about/
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Just woke up from a nap in which I ate a kiddie pool worth of the beeeest alfredo ever. At one point in my dream I turned to the person who made it and said "will this make me gain weight?" and they laughed with a "why would something so good make you gain weight???"
Needless to say, I'm both amused and now really want alfredo sauce. That dream was so vivid though it's a little scary.
Anyone else have this happen to them?
[Rant/Rave] Welp. Had a bottle of prosecco for dinner. Again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:31:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq3eh/welp_had_a_bottle_of_prosecco_for_dinner_again/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The groceries hauls are great to see.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:30:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq37r/the_groceries_hauls_are_great_to_see/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
It's nice that the grocery haul trend has taken off but I guess I just have mixed emotions. I am currently broke. I have almost no money to shop and I guess the good thing is no binge food either or any food for that matter.
I guess I feel shitty cause I know I never buy safe foods usually when I shop it's all binge food and it's disgusting. To think about the amount I spend on binge type foods makes me want to gag.
I am not trying to come off as a bitch so don't read to much into this. I just wanted to say I am proud of everyone who can actually shop with some control and I envy them a lot.
I wish I had that type or control but I don't. Also being vegan I can't eat halo top or arctic zero and stuff. You are all lovely.
The high point of seeing grocery hauls it's I can live vicariously through those who can actually be responsible with their eating and shopping. I can make 40 bucks worth of food disappear in an afternoon or one hour after work.
You are all lovely.
Willow.
[Other] Grocery haul - yay for sales?
/u/penpenpenpen
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:28:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq2sj/grocery_haul_yay_for_sales/
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http://i.imgur.com/rdOT8Ki.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Comparison is the thief of joy.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:20:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lq127/comparison_is_the_thief_of_joy/
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On mobile flair as rant rave
Sometimes I actually feel ok with my body and sort of comfortable or confident. Then I see someone else and get sad cause I'm not them. They have more friends or they are skinnier and actually seem to enjoy life and are capable of happiness.
I have none of the above. I never really feel happy. I just fake it. I could win an Oscar for my life a performance or trying to pretend I am ok and not miserable all the time. I have no real friends or social life people don't ask me out or invite me to things. No one flirts or hits on me. I get derogatory harassment which I guess is the closest thing I get to attention.
I just want to be skinny and to wear small clothes and to just be wispy and delicate yet strong. I want to be taken as androgynous and not obviously a person. I've got a mixed bag body.
Mens shoulders and little definition in muscles, women's arms hips and a huge ass. My stomach is lumpy and gross and my ankles to my waist are huge I am a biological male with a fucking pear shaped body when I just want to be a stick.
Here I am fasting again because I can't stand to eat and frankly can't afford food. I bought a bunch of stuff I don't need and have a trip coming up next week and rent to pay. I can't really afford to eat and I still refuse the free employee food at work.
I tell myself my body is just allergic to all food cause whenever I have food I feel sick and bloated and my body puts on weight. Food is like an allergy for me.
I just wish I could be someone else smaller and not me. I don't like me.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Thank you obsessive calorie counter in charge of the college food menu. You see, obsessiveness can help people!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 18:06:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpxvo/thank_you_obsessive_calorie_counter_in_charge_of/
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[deleted]
Favorite trigger tv shows/movies?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Thu Jul 6 17:51:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpuz7/favorite_trigger_tv_showsmovies/
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[removed]
[Tip] A moment of appreciation for RHUBARB ♡
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Thu Jul 6 17:41:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpt0t/a_moment_of_appreciation_for_rhubarb/
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https://i.redd.it/y5xavuig628z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm being forced to go to Maudsley Hospital on Tuesday aka 72lbs of work damaged
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 17:41:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpszf/im_being_forced_to_go_to_maudsley_hospital_on/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE not like Halo Top?
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 17:39:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpsfo/dae_not_like_halo_top/
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I have tried so many kinds and just don't like it. Tastes kinda chemical-y to me, and is hard as a rock like those frozen ice things. Also when I bought mint chip, it DIDN'T HAVE ANY CHIPS! It had a slight chocolate flavor but NO chips. just not a fan. Recently I've been loving Nada Moo, which is dairy free. It's 140 c per serving, but thats almost half as many as ben and jerrys
[Discussion] Do you find yourself obsessing over social interactions? [Help/Discussion]
/u/lileruneal
Created: Thu Jul 6 17:32:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpr2b/do_you_find_yourself_obsessing_over_social/
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So I generate my self worth from how others interact with me and whether it is positive or negative. If it's positive I swear I get a high from it and I'm walking on air. If it's negative I obsess over it and feel awful for at least the rest of the day if not the rest of the week.
I feel like trying to control my weight and get skinny is directly related to my fear of judgement from others. If I'm skinny and attractive people will judge me less harshly, like me more, and I will have more positive social interactions and feel better about myself.
The problem is I am hypersensitive to even the slightest negative judgement and will assume that people hate me based on a 3-second conversation. I guess I'm trying to ask is this normal in ED behavior or is it just a general social anxiety/self esteem thing? And does anyone feel this way or am I just a crazy narcissist?
[Rant/Rave] A rant and a rave
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 17:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpmwd/a_rant_and_a_rave/
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I know this weekend has been hard for a lot of US-based people here on r/proED, and I'm definitely one of them. I've eaten 3,478 calories in the past three days alone, which is 2000 calories more than I'd eaten in the six days before that combined. I've been really focused on getting to my GW before an event I have to go to at the end of the month, so this was kind of crushing to me. To feel better about it, I'm really trying to focus on a month-long scale instead of just weeks or days. Even though I screwed up this week, I can still lose nine or ten pounds over the course of the month, maybe even a bit more if I start hardcore fasting/exercising, and that's made me feel a little more calm about the whole thing.
I've been good so far today, no food, just Powerade Zero and gum, and I'm going to the gym in an hour or so, but I'm afraid my boyfriend will come over and want to go out to eat tonight and set my progress back further. Now for the little rave part, which is that I talked to my boyfriend about the possibility of getting a sculpting treatment done to slim my hips and thighs. I was really worried about talking to him, but not only was he super supportive of the idea, he actually offered to chip in as an early birthday present. I would never let him do that (of course), but it was such a weight off my shoulders to know that if I did make that decision, he would support me.
What are you guys doing to make yourselves feel better about this past food-filled weekend? What do you do when your SO wants to go out to eat? What's a good thing that's happened to you lately?
[Discussion] What's easier for you: Eating a little daily OR eating nothing primarily?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 16:14:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lpah9/whats_easier_for_you_eating_a_little_daily_or/
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[deleted]
[Other] My ratchet grocery haul
/u/unpollutedfantasy [🥒]
Created: Thu Jul 6 15:55:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lp5xp/my_ratchet_grocery_haul/
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http://i.imgur.com/kPFtnha.jpg
[Rant/Rave] The silver lining of heart breaking tragedy
/u/Shawnanan
Created: Thu Jul 6 15:54:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lp5rz/the_silver_lining_of_heart_breaking_tragedy/
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If you saw my last post you know I lost several of my friends.
Well on top of that, my me and my boyfriends one year anniversary was on the 4th of July.
HE FUCKING BROKE UP WITH ME.
I've been so heartbroken from all of this. I have no money and my mom is kicking me out august 1st.
The saving grace of all this?
Being this depressed and suicidal makes me able to starve with no problem. I want to wither away and just turn into a pile of bones.
[Other] /r/proED is looking for some lovely mod material peeps!
/u/bir_die [🌸 5'8" | 117.6 | 17.69 | GW: 115 | 23 Bird 🌸]
Created: Thu Jul 6 15:46:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lp3uw/rproed_is_looking_for_some_lovely_mod_material/
---
Hello everyone! As the title suggests- we're in the hunt for some help. We're quite the growing community and would love to keep everyone as happy and safe as possible- and that means having people around to monitor and do exciting, thrilling things like sort through spam and delete fantastically entertaining bot comments.
Other responsibilities include:
- meticulously flairing posts and accidentally noticing you've been using "rant/rave" for literally every post because after about 10 of them you just automatically hit it and just leaving it because *close enough*.
- checking the moderation queue and seeing nothing until you've been away for an hour and suddenly there's been 5 reports while you've been gone that probably should've been removed a while ago. *oops*.
- banning creeps and hoping to god they don't message you about it because Jesus Christ that sounds like a pain and you just want to *ream* them. But professionalism.
- jokes aside: respecting privacy and confidentiality. What gets reported, who gets reported, what gets deleted and who's involved stays in mod-world. Zero tolerance for gossip or abusing your mod tools. Be responsible, be reasonable, be respectful. Sounds easy, but still can be an issue.
So in seriousness- it's a responsibility and by proxy you will be a representative of the community, especially when it comes to those outside of our little village. Be active, be vigilant, and keep the love flowing. 💕
If you've got any ideas of users that you think would be fit, or if you yourself would like to put yourself out there- feel free to let us know [by ModMail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED), leaving a comment here, or messaging one of us (por ejemplo: me).
[Other] grocery haul ♡ thought my cart looked aesthetically pleasing today~~
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Thu Jul 6 15:32:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lp0pi/grocery_haul_thought_my_cart_looked_aesthetically/
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http://i.imgur.com/mJKG5EI.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Dear Binge Brain,
/u/TinyandLost [5'6 | Gross | BMI - OW | -13lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 15:22:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6loyd3/dear_binge_brain/
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Please stop.
I've doing well so far and I still refuse to give in. Please stop rationalising how eating 3000 calories of chicken related food is an option. It isn't. I know it's tasty and I know I'm hungry.
Please stop.
In an hour, I'll be home in an hour. I'll have my Shake then. I don't need to binge. I don't need it. I don't need you.
I know talking about the food I want isn't helping. I know I could order it, and I know I could easily start fresh tomorrow. But please, I don't want this.
I need to lose weight. Please stop. Just leave me alone. I have enough to fill me and I don't need more. Please just go, I don't need this.
[Other] When other people do the shopping.
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:37:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lomuu/when_other_people_do_the_shopping/
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On mobile, sorry.
My husband always offers to go shopping on his way home from work when I dont feel like it, or when we only need to pick up a few things. Is anyone else really uncomfortable when other people shop for them?
I asked for the lunchmeat we always get, the bread we always get, and some apples. I got apples too big for our apple slicer (they're also bruised and scratched up), the wrong brand of ham (so now I only get 10 grams of ham on a sandwich instead of the 25 I normally get), and the wrong kind of bread (90 calories for 2 slices, not 80).
I usually tell him that I'll just do the shopping and he gets offended, like I'm saying he's incompetent. When the truth is that he's never really had to go grocery shopping so he doesn't know how to shop, and hes mildly unobservant, so he doesn't even know the brand of the lunchmeat (and other things) that we have always had in the fridge for the past 4 months. Like. How? You make sandwiches and eat the same brand every other day for 4 months and don't know what brand we get? It has a while section just for lunch meat of that brand in the store.
End rant.
[Rant/Rave] |Rant| Messed up my lunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:29:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6loktm/rant_messed_up_my_lunch/
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[deleted]
[Help] Low cal food/recipe/drink recommendations?
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:25:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lojwg/low_cal_foodrecipedrink_recommendations/
---
I know if I don't do something now, I'm going to binge for two weeks, so what are you guys favorite foods, recipes, drinks, snacks, etc.? I'm vegetarian, but for any recipes I could probably use a meat substitute, so feel free to post those! The only other thing is I'd prefer for it not to be known/in the title that it's made for weight loss, I don't want anyone to know about my ED. Not yet, anyway. Even if it has those though, I'd still love to hear about them and try them!
[Rant/Rave] Two scales?
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:20:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6loimj/two_scales/
---
I bought a digital scale while away from home and brought it with me when I came back. It reads my current weight as 59.4 kg while another scale in the house (which is manual) reads 126 lbs. I didn't know which one is accurate so I used a 10 lb dumbell on both of them to check; the manual scale reads 10 lbs and the digital reads 4.5 kg. I'm going crazy! Why do they show almost exactly similar readings for the same object and not ME!? Now I don't know which scale to trust and I go back and forth like a madwoman
[Rant/Rave] Halo top?
/u/purpleorangeblu
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:18:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6loi6h/halo_top/
---
So, I've tried the chocolate almond crunch flavor and didn't like it too much. It was alright, but not good enough to merit buying more. I'll just not eat ice cream. Then I found Arctic Zero and for 150 calories a pint, it was a perfect substitute for dessert. (And you can't have an eating disorder if you're eating half a pint of ice cream right?) But I got this coupon for Halo Top, so I though I'd just buy a pint of vanilla and eat it with strawberries. And oh. My. God. It tastes so real? To the point where I don't know if I can eat any more because there's no way ice cream can taste so good and be 240 calories a pint. Are my taste buds all messed up from the shitty low calorie foods I eat or is it really a good comparison?
[Goal] I wrote an email
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:18:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6loi25/i_wrote_an_email/
---
Hi there favourite people!
I've been away for a week because I was bingeing and feeling like crap and in an act of self-awareness and courage I decided to start googling "eating disorder treatment" in my city. Yeah, whatever. I dont know why I googled it in the first place, but I somehow came to the realization that I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to be fat, either, but right now my bingeing is what makes me fat so i'm going to become fat anyway.
And I took about an hour to write that stupid email. Theres this lady who you have to contact to get the form you need to apply for recovery treatment. And I don't even know if i do it for recovery, maybe I'm just doing it to get diagnosed. If I'm diagnosed, the ED isn't just in my head, it's not something I've made up, it's real. I don't know. Either way, I spent an hour typing this email and I cried a lot. I'm actually still crying. Typing out that you have problems with eating just sounds so pathetic.
And I made a burner email (??????is there a thing like this??) for the ED lady so I could still back off and crawl back into my "hahahah i'm totally fine this never happened" space when my recovery-rush fades and I get back into coward-mode.
So I sent this stupid email and I get an immediate response, auto-response, saying ED lady isn't available, and I should contact ED lady 2 instead. So I just changed her name and copy-and-pasted my mail.
I'm scared. Shit, I'm so scared. I'm sorry for the messy-ness of this post and the messy-ness of my thoughts. I really don't know what will happen next and I'm so scared that they'll tell me I'm an attention-seeker and that I'm just dumb and should just stop eating instead of stuffing my face....yeah they won't say that but I'm still scared. Oh guys I'm so scared.
[Rant/Rave] I'm either completely empty or completely full. There's no in between.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:17:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lohw6/im_either_completely_empty_or_completely_full/
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[deleted]
[Other] That moment when you're out to pick up a few things and you see adorable cans of Coke Zero being handed out for free. Easily the best part of my day.
/u/VelvetMermaid [5'4 | CW + BMI: too high | GW: Never enough | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:16:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lohrb/that_moment_when_youre_out_to_pick_up_a_few/
---
https://i.redd.it/lw54jics518z.jpg
[Help] Shirataki noodle help
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:11:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6logiv/shirataki_noodle_help/
---
Okay so I am wondering if there's a way to cook shirataki noodles so that they actually taste good and edible, or if they're actually just kind of awful.
I know mac and cheese powder is like 25 cal/tablespoon so I really want to make "mac" and cheese with them.
I love zucchini noodles for like afresh type dishes but they just don't work for mac and cheese imo.
[Rant/Rave] Right when I feel good about myself and my body and my intake...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 14:02:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6loe29/right_when_i_feel_good_about_myself_and_my_body/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] What I can have.
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Thu Jul 6 13:51:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lob8i/what_i_can_have/
---
I can't be popular or even have a *normal* number of friends; I'm socially awkward and an Aspie.
I can't drive or get a job like my other friends partially because of my mental illnesses and disabilities.
I can't tell anyone about my gender dysphoria, because some of my dearest family members would say I'd turned over to the devil and needed a good Christian therapist.
I can't recover because I'll wind up looking masculine.
I can never be who I really want to be.
I rarely have control of anything around me.
So by God, I'll be *tiny*. I'll be cute. I'll charm the people I like and have other people want to protect the smol bean. It's one of the few things that still brings me joy.
It's something I can control.
[Rant/Rave] unpopular opinion in this subreddit; would appreciate an opposing force of change to counter my statements.
/u/throwawayfuckall01
Created: Thu Jul 6 13:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lo74s/unpopular_opinion_in_this_subreddit_would/
---
I understand I'm viewing this from my own sphere of experiences and my mileage may vary, but if I were to actually "be myself" for people and not change I'd be this lump of shit with inflammatory opinions and an ugly face.
**If you have a differing opinion and a different perspective, then I encourage and challenge you to not just downvote, but to offer a reason as to why you think I'm wrong.**
I don't like feeling this way and I used to embrace the individual and thought--but I feel very jaded and it's hard to believe that we don't have a conformist society. For me, a conformist society is what prompted and pushed people to create this subreddit in the first place.
We wear makeup/fight acne for a reason. Braces are a coming-of-age standard for a reason. We call political activists with unpopular opinions crazy for a reason. No one likes the devil's advocate for a reason, unless they have a charming face.
I'm just so frustrated because every time I try to express my plans for change, I get called either a sociopath or a person who buys in to norms. But that's the way the world works? You either go out with the rest of the interns for drinks and you dress to the standard and you talk about relatable things or you don't. If everyone judges you and doesn't want to hang out with you, then don't whine about no one liking who you are as a person.
People want to be like everyone else and they don't like change that doesn't fit with how they view things. Thus, anyone that falls too far outside or below that standard gets ostracized.
I'm so fucking tired of people telling me to "be myself." Do you want a controlling freak who incessantly talks about calories, the importance of a good sunscreen and how Israel isn't exactly the greatest country in the world (it's not the worst I know, but I'm sick of people playing it up like it's the best ever ~~looking at you, super conservatives~~)?
No. No one wants to talk about that. I'll go back to studying how to dress like you, how to talk about sports like you, makeup like you, vacation spots like you, and continue stalking you and your friends' Facebooks to figure out a common denominator of what everyone really enjoys and what makes you and all your pretty little friends so **likeable** so that I, too, don't get left behind out in the rain of discrimination again.
Dear White People and Coco Conners is my idol. Idgaf anymore about "being myself" because I won't survive in this world if I do.
**DISCLAIMER**
I understand this above post has been very volatile and aggressive. I started out by reading things on "how to be likeable" and asking for solid advice on "how to make friends" and all this be yourself advice got me feeling like I'm back to square one. I burned a lot of bridges my freshman year after a sexual assault that changed "myself" into a fucking monster. It's difficult being yourself when all you are is jaded, bitter, and angry about everyone and everything.
I obviously need self-development and help, but what it boils down to is that it depends what my goals are. For me, it's about making more friends rather than a few (I'm still keeping my few close friends, I'm not a fucktard and they are my ride or die in this shitty life atm) and to change my reputation to be successful and not piss anyone off anymore. I want to excel in the workplace where it's an office and obviously that's where popularity and being likeable wins. It's just how the world works for me.
But if you're comfortable working in a small workplace where everyone plays LoL or only gets out together on the weekend to watch the latest puppy movie, and you're *happy* then that's totally okay. That is *you* and who you are. Those are your goals and yours alone.
After all this; maybe I just need to be more open about my goals. But how do I do that without being called a sociopath? **It's not that I don't care for people or about people; I just want to know how to be like people.**
This sub is what it all is. We just want to be *accepted.*
[Tip] Craving calorie heavy instant ramen? Try this substitution!
/u/adrienneirda [In recovery - feeling too fat to say]
Created: Thu Jul 6 13:29:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lo5z9/craving_calorie_heavy_instant_ramen_try_this/
---
What you need:
- Nissan Top Ramen (must be this brand because the seasoning packet has 0 to minimal calories, all of the calories on the Nutrition Info is for the noodles)
- Shirataki noodles in spaghetti shape
- 2 pots and a frying pan
- Optional: Frank's Red Hot hot sauce
Steps:
- Take shirataki noodles out of package and strain
- Rinse shirataki noodles thoroughly
- Put two pots of water on to boil: 1 with two cups of water and one with just enough to contain all of the noodles
- Boil shirataki noodles for 3-5 minutes
- Heat up a large pan
- Strain shirataki noodles
- Place shirataki noodles in pan and dry fry until steam stops rising, the more you dry them out the more of the broth they'll absorb and have more flavor
- Put half a packet of Nissan Top Ramen seasoning in the pot with two cups of water, I also added a shake or two of Frank's Red Hot because spicy ramen is where the party's at
- Place dry fried shirataki noodles in the broth and let it simmer for a few to rehydrate with broth
- Serve and enjoy your 20-30 calorie ramen
I know many people don't like the somewhat rubbery consistency of shirataki noodles, but I found that dry frying them really helps eliminate some of that chewiness and combining them in a soup helps because you're getting more flavour.
Edit: I'll also note you can obviously add all of your fave ramen toppings to *enhance* the experience. Personally, I think I should have definitely put in a poached egg or something.
[Rant/Rave] Not even having Mono is stopping this binge cycle
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 99.4| BMI:19.4 l GW 90| -45 l]
Created: Thu Jul 6 13:27:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lo5ec/not_even_having_mono_is_stopping_this_binge_cycle/
---
please kill me. My stomach is killing me and my appetite is ruined... WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL BINGING
ugh maybe ill involuntarily throw up if this continues..... tiny silver lining???
edit: stomach still really really hurts. As if I needed more proof my binges aren't hunger-driven. Even with no appetite I managed to cram in two pints of halo top and ALMOST an entire package of cookies. At least I was able to throw away the last few cookies. Can't throw up although I wish I could to ease this pain. yay for emetophobia, I guess??
but literally WHAT SENSE DOES THIS MAKE?? fuck this ED
edit number two: 2,200 calories what the FUCK. Times like these I wish I knew how to purge. (Not really but I feel desperate. This is day 3 or 4 of binging way past 2,000)
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else get frustrated with the "be yourself" mentality of things?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 12:55:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lnxel/does_anyone_else_get_frustrated_with_the_be/
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[deleted]
[Other] Back on task tomorrow.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 12:54:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lnxc6/back_on_task_tomorrow/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Haven't pooped in over a week
/u/lock-box
Created: Thu Jul 6 12:23:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lnpd9/havent_pooped_in_over_a_week/
---
I don't feel super backed up but I definitely have enough food in me at this point for a BM and I'm not sure what else to do.
Typically I take magnesium at night and drink coffee in the morning and I'm good to go but I've done that 3 times now with no luck...
I am nervous to use laxatives because of my work schedule and in the past they have kicked in at the most inopportune times. 😨 Any advice?
[Discussion] How many relapses have you had?
/u/gracewisc [5'6 | 166lbs | 26.8 | -36lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 12:16:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lnnn0/how_many_relapses_have_you_had/
---
I'm just curious to see how many relapses everyone has had through their journey. I recover, relapse, recover, etc... I've also relapsed with a totally different ED diagnosis each time. Is this normal?
[Discussion] What are your favorite appetite suppressant teas?
/u/Mrs-Schrute [Gross AF]
Created: Thu Jul 6 11:21:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ln9qx/what_are_your_favorite_appetite_suppressant_teas/
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I drink a ton of green tea but I'm wanting to branch out and find some more options. What are your favorites to suppress your appetite, or just in general? :)
[Rant/Rave] Every time I get close to my GW I mess everything up by rewarding myself.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F | 119 | 20.83 | UGW: 102lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 6 10:57:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ln3cj/every_time_i_get_close_to_my_gw_i_mess_everything/
---
I've been a member here for a year now and throughout that time I've been close to goals maybe 4 times.
Granted I do the thing where I keep lowering my goal once I reach it but my UGW is 108 lbs (probably). I haven't been that thin since I was in highschool, and I really, REALLY wanna be that weight again.
I'll get down to 110 (where it isn't really confirmed, I just step on the scale that day and have lost water weight or whatever), get excited and treat myself to all the foods I've resisted and before you know it I'm calling myself "recovered" and shortly after that I've ballooned up 10-20 lbs.
I get so FREAKING close and then I'll have to start back at ground zero, and in this case, negative ground zero. I know my emotions though, and I know when I'm ready to get back into restriction mode and I'm there. I'm just like... Worried that I'm going to mess this up again, I really want this time to be the time where I get to my UGW and maintain it!
[Rant/Rave] We're getting rid of the scale
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 10:47:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ln0ws/were_getting_rid_of_the_scale/
---
:) because that's the root of the problem :) and my fiance wants me to be the best version of me :) and the scale is what is preventing that :) and I literally could come up with no reasonable argument for why we shouldn't stick the scale up in a closet that didn't involve sobbing helplessly and hugging it to my chest wailing "my precious" :) so into the closet it goes :) :) :)
[Tip] Tip: If you're hungry for chips, eat 1 cup of cornflakes instead!
/u/forestfloorpool [✶170cm • bmi18.3 • gbmi17.3 • 24f✶]
Created: Thu Jul 6 10:43:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmzwv/tip_if_youre_hungry_for_chips_eat_1_cup_of/
---
1 cup = ~100 calories
It gives you the satisfaction of a crunch without the oil and calories!
[Rant/Rave] Posted that I was starting a protein fast, didn't (but ate ok), and I want to share progress so I can focus on being proud of myself
/u/Profeshed
Created: Thu Jul 6 10:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmywt/posted_that_i_was_starting_a_protein_fast_didnt/
---
So a couple days ago I said I was going to start a protein fast.
One thing I didn't share in that first post was that a critical part of the diet/protein fast/authors advice (it's called the ultimate fat burn diet for those who are curious, I'm sharing because I strongly believe it's the healthiest alternative to straight fasting or heavy restricting as it's designed to prevent muscle and vital organ damage--protein is good for you 🙂!) is to not focus on your goals--don't think, ugh I have 20lb to go because that just makes things hard. Instead, focus on your achievements each day--I've already lost 5 lb and today I did well for breakfast and lunch. I can make it another 2 hours. The small successes add up and help keep you on track, and make you feel better about yourself.
Well, the first day, I did the right breakfast (plain coffee) and turkey slices (enough to equal 40g protein) for breakfast + lunch since I arrived home later. I was happy with myself but then by dinner I started caving in and smacked on stuff that wasn't part of my plan. The good news is I still ate below my TDEE for the first time after a 3-week binge so I didn't want to update my post and decided I would start tomorrow. I felt like I let myself down because I wanted to kept the post updated.
The next day was 4th of July, and in the morning I decided I could stick to the fast by just having a small, super lean burger patty and lettuce and tomato and sugar free ketchup, but I got the day off early and my roommate and boyfriend were having a couple drinks. We drink really rarely and I was really sad about feeling like I was missing out on just relaxing and enjoying myself for the 4th so I said fuck it and just made myself a lettuce wrap cheeseburger and had some ciders and a small apple crisp (the frozen ones from Safeway are like 200 calories and they're sooooo good). I had some other small snacks in the evening, and once again, I felt like I let myself down that I couldn't update my post. But I still felt good enough because one more time I ate under my TDEE.
Yesterday I almost did well for breakfast (until I realized I accidentally drank the energy drink with sugar (not much) instead of the sugar free one), lunch, and dinner. And then I went grocery shopping with my boyfriend and ate half a container of halo top sprinkled with a little kashi go lean. So I was really close yesterday and even though I had "failed" at the fast for three days, if I focused on my accomplishment, the reality is that after 3 weeks of binging I cut my calories each day more and more and got closer to the fast I wanted to try.
I realized also that I don't want to create any guilt for myself by not posting. I'm doing well, this morning I had a sugar free energy drink and the plain whey isolate and I'm not feeling cravings and I feel good.
I'm updating my last few days because even though I broke my "promise" to myself, I still did well and I want to let myself feel good about what I achieved.
So there, even if I screw up later today, I still did well for breakfast and I'm going to post.
Happy Thursday everyone, I hope you all achieve something today, whatever it is, and that you can feel proud of yourselves ❤️
[Other] Make it stop
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Thu Jul 6 10:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmyip/make_it_stop/
---
https://i.redd.it/jq4sihts208z.jpg
That moment when you're out to pick up a few things and you see adorable cans of Coke Zero being handed out for free.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 10:31:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmx2g/that_moment_when_youre_out_to_pick_up_a_few/
---
https://i.redd.it/7cewe20q108z.jpg
[Discussion] Distraction post: what should I listen to?
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Thu Jul 6 10:28:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmw86/distraction_post_what_should_i_listen_to/
---
Since you guys offered so many great recommendations I thought I might continue the trend and present this question to the group: what should I be listening to?
Recently I have felt so apathetic towards all music and only listen when I am running. Not sure why, usually I'm music central but the past two weeks all I've listened to is podcasts and books on tape.
SO! In the spirit of trusting your recommendations once again, if you could recommend any song/group/musical/etc what would you propose? What song do you want more people to appreciate? What band speaks to you? I'm all ears.
[Rant/Rave] Why do people eat my food?!?!
/u/dahee3697 [5'1.5" | CW: 120 | GW: 100 | F | 19]
Created: Thu Jul 6 09:53:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmnm8/why_do_people_eat_my_food/
---
It makes me so pissed when I buy food or snacks for myself that are low cal or even just regular cal stuff that I bought as a treat for myself and my brother who is actually trying to gain weight and muscles eats everything in the house including my popcorn or dark chocolate!! I don't freak out about it and I don't want to say anything because it might tip off my family and I would keep it in my room but if I get caught my mom will probs yell at me for hiding food bc thats not healthy. Honestly just whyyyyyyyyyy!! I can't do anything about it but sometimes it's nice to let it all out instead of keeping it bottled up.
[Discussion] We should have some kind of code, so we could find each other in real life
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Thu Jul 6 09:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmm66/we_should_have_some_kind_of_code_so_we_could_find/
---
Just listen me out, okay? Wouldn't it be cool if we had some kind of 'sign' we were from r/proed. So if we accidentally met, we could say hi or something? I'm thinking like doing a blue spot on your middle finger or wearing some kind of cheap bracelet. It would be like a super secret club ~~and i would finally be included in something~~
Anyone would wanna join? Anyone has some more sneaky ideas?
Flair: discussion
[Discussion] Recovery flair?
/u/Vegan_mermaid [5'2" | 96 lb | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 09:15:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lmebr/recovery_flair/
---
On another post in this sub a few days ago I kinda floated the idea of having a recovery-oriented flair, and I was curious to gauge the rest of the community's thoughts / reaction / the mods' input. The comment/discussion is [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbx56/just_a_little_thought_about_this_sub_in_general/djt2f62) but basically I'm moving deeper and deeper into recovery, but obviously I've had my eating disorder for two-thirds of my life and it's going to be a long process. In many ways I still feel like I belong here, and I love being able to relate to people here on such a deep level; I don't want to have to leave yet and I do feel like it was helpful for me to have some interaction with semi-recovered or semi-recovery-oriented users here at the beginning stages of recovery. But I also fully, fully appreciate the need for a space that is **not** pro-recovery. So I have been thinking that maybe having a recovery flair could be helpful -- that way if people are open to that kind of discussion, they could indicate it with a flair, and people who are NOT in that space or who don't want to see discussions/advice in that vein could avoid it. (Like personally, I have issues with thinspo, so I use the filters to avoid ever seeing it.)
IDK. Just kind of wanted to get others' thoughts about this.
<333
[Rant/Rave] There is good in the world: a FitBit story
/u/CorgiMuffin3 [5'3" | 128 | 22.7 | -15 lb | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 08:50:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lm86l/there_is_good_in_the_world_a_fitbit_story/
---
I've just come out of my freshman year of college and an attempt at "recovery" (aka binging in the dining commons). Now I'm at my highest weight ever, 30 lbs more than my LW. Whomp, time to start restricting again. Fast forward to the Fourth of July; I only eat some egg whites that morning, cause hey, that's better than nothing, right? Wrong. SO wrong. I get completely wasted, and somehow, my FitBit comes off at a house party. I tried to find it, but alas, it was lost in the party chaos. I'm devastated; I'm completely tied to the "calories burnt" readings, and I know I won't be able to afford a new one until after summer. I emailed FitBit to see if they'd replace it, and they said they normally don't cover loss.... except mine was a limited edition one so they'll make an exception! Literally over the moon, I have no idea how I would live without my FitBit and now I don't have to!
TLDR; egg whites are not good pre-drinking food, FitBit is the best
Whenever I'm hungry, I just draw whatever I'm craving. (please, excuse the shitty coloring)
/u/Vanilla_Mieux [*:･ﾟ✧ 5'1 | GW: 65lbs | CW: 75lbs | F *:･ﾟ✧ ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 08:34:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lm4lq/whenever_im_hungry_i_just_draw_whatever_im/
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https://i.redd.it/m3hb82ssgz7z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] BONE PAIN UGH
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 117 | 19.2 | -113 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Thu Jul 6 08:25:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lm2kg/bone_pain_ugh/
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I'M SO UNCOMFORTABLE ALL THE TIME AND IT'S REALLY UNFAIR
I'm not even at a super low weight so???? why??????
can't sleep on my stomach because my hipbones dig into the matress and it hurts like a bitch
can't sleep on my side because my knees grind against each other
CAN'T SLEEP ON MY BACK BECAUSE THIS WEIRD KNOBBY BONE AT THE BOTTOM OF MY SPINE IS JUST SO HORRIBLE OH MY GOD.
can't sit down for more than 30 minutes because aforementioned weird knobby bone likes to torture me. also it makes my butt hurt :(
and I get dizzy when I stand, so that's just fantastic.
I'm this weird mess of fat bits and boney bits, and it really, really sucks. everything hurts lol send help
[Discussion] Cheese, my one true love, it's time we break up.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Thu Jul 6 08:21:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lm1pf/cheese_my_one_true_love_its_time_we_break_up/
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I've never been the kind of person who binges on cake or sweets. No part of me ever is at the store and goes "damn a chocolate bar sounds really good right now," which is good in some ways, but almost daily I have to stop myself from making nachos or Mac and cheese. Carby, cheesey, and greasy things are my weakness. My stomach doesn't tolerate any of those well either which only makes it worse. So today, goodbye cheese. Goodbye bread. I'll miss you guys so so so much.
[Help] Something to do on holiday?
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Thu Jul 6 08:01:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6llx9k/something_to_do_on_holiday/
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So, my summer holiday begun. Yay for no shitty school in couple of months, but nay for this boredom I have now. And boredom means wanting to eat, so a big nay.
I have only one friend and she's going to be at her summer cabin all July, so I don't really know how to spend my days. I don't want to be home where binging is at biggest risk. I like to go to a gym, but it doesn't take all day, so... any ideas? I'd be so grateful if anyone could give any tips!!
[Help] ED moms?
/u/ObservingSilence
Created: Thu Jul 6 07:51:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6llv5l/ed_moms/
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I am currently pregnant and was wondering if any moms here have used a pregnancy calorie counting app and/or a breastfeeding one. I'm on the lookout for one and I need advice!
[Rant/Rave] I FUCKI TRIGGERED MYSELF AGA
/u/shallot55
Created: Thu Jul 6 07:17:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6llo80/i_fucki_triggered_myself_aga/
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Why do I do two food topics? I'm the go to if you want to know about food and all that, but fuckibgmff I keep on triggering myself to go into"god I hate myself don't eat don't eat don't eat, (even though you won't be able to move because of your lack of nutrients), watch your choices" instead of my usual subconscious starvation and kind of admiring certain parts of my body.
God I hate myself time to download a food diary. Any good offline ones?
[Tip] Got left over smore stuff? Make a healthy snack out of it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 6 06:32:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6llfsp/got_left_over_smore_stuff_make_a_healthy_snack/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support July 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 6 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6llc8g/weekly_emotional_support_july_06_2017/
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We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 06, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 6 06:10:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6llc4h/daily_food_diary_july_06_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 06, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Weird moods
/u/LittleSkittles [5'4" | 91.6 lbs | 15.72 | GW 70 lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 05:40:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ll71l/weird_moods/
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Sorry in advance for stream-of-consciousness ranting here, I just reeeeaally feel like I need to clear my head ._.
Okay, so I'm barely kind of back on track after one of the weirdest binge cycles of my life. I spent *weeks* just kind of...mindlessly munching on things. Not even stuffing them into my face, as is my usual M.O., just constant, incessant snacking. On useless things as well! Like, instead of all my usual binge foods (junk foods mostly, anything with a strong taste. That whole "If I'm fucking this up, I may as well enjoy it while it's happening") I ended up eating slices of white bread, yogurts, ramen noodles.
Basically, it was just the most baffling binge cycle of my entire existence, it went against all of my usual patterns, and I just COULD NOT break it, no matter what I did. It finally came to a head yesterday with me crying in the shower because my thighs kept rippling when I moved and I just flat-out couldn't take it.
I've been half-afraid to weigh myself for the last little while. I did so yesterday, but I had been chugging water all day by then, so I can't take it as a true weight. But still, 97.6. I can't fucking believe myself.
But since yesterday and the shower and all that crap, I've just...snapped back. Fasted all day yesterday, and walked 12km. But I woke up today so nauseous that even drinking water had me throwing up bile. So I've had a half a cup of tea with some milk and sugar in an attempt to settle my stomach. As far as I can tell, it's worked. But all of a sudden, there are *no* thoughts of food in my head. And it's wonderful. But where the hell was this when I was still on track? When I was still making good progress? Why did I have to fuck up for *SO LONG* first?
I'm sorry that this is all crazy kinds of all over the place, I'm in a really strange headspace, I guess.
Anybody else got any weirdness going on at the moment? Cause do share if you do, I may be a weirdo, but I'm certainly a friendly one :)
Edited to add: Anybody else decide to fast for 2 days when they find any reason to not like their life? For some reason, my brain always thinks a 2 day fast (more specifically, a 50 hour fast) will just magically fix everything xD
[Rant/Rave] Hunger headaches are the absolute worst
/u/Fuzzypanda67 [5'8" | 142 | 20.97 | 0 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 04:49:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lkz2f/hunger_headaches_are_the_absolute_worst/
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I'm on mobile so I can't flair
Does anyone else get really awful headaches when they restrict? Usually I'll eat less than 500 calories when I'm restricting. I'll also drink a ton of water, like 50oz a day, but I still get awful headaches. I've tried Excedrin and ibuprofen and neither have helped at all. The only way the headaches go away is if I sleep them off, which is really inconvenient when I'm at work. I'm not sure if they're normal headaches from not eating a lot or if they're frequent migraines.
Does anyone else experience this? How do you deal with it?
[Help] dealing with weakness
/u/monikaro11
Created: Thu Jul 6 03:23:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lkn3a/dealing_with_weakness/
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hey guys.
I'm glad I've found this community, you all seem like cool people.
I have a question tho:
How do you deal with weakness? I'm curently at my lowest weight (which isn't even that low) and I just can't function properly. I'm tired and cant focus for long - even huge amounts of coffee and guarana pills don't work anymore. And as I've seen here people eat even less than me. I consume around 500 -+kcal daily, how do people function at 100 or less kcal?? Is there something I don't know?
I'm not looking for a miracle solution (or maybe I do, idk) I'm just wondering if there is aynthing that helps...
Thanks
[Discussion] LGBT community members?
/u/xwer15 [5'5| 142.6 | -18| GW:100| F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 02:46:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lkhyl/lgbt_community_members/
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Hey guys :) I've noticed lately that there have been a lot of posts from people in the LGBT community here and it warms my heart. I sometimes feel really isolated being a minority in a minority group because of my sexuality and then with this ED as well. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one hat exists that falls into more than one category. I sometimes feel like I'm not allowed to be gay because I already have enough things "wrong" wth me so it's comforting to see other people like
Me. I know there's nothing wrong with being gay but I have some internalized homophobia/general self hatred.
I just want to say Thank you and that I love you guys and I'm always here for support❤️
[Rant/Rave] Why must I save so much fat in my face
/u/Please445leave
Created: Thu Jul 6 01:44:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lka4f/why_must_i_save_so_much_fat_in_my_face/
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It's my face, man. Wtf.
[Rant/Rave] I'm starting to regret my efforts to quit smoking
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Thu Jul 6 01:24:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lk7fz/im_starting_to_regret_my_efforts_to_quit_smoking/
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So i guess i should be happy/proud that i havent smoked in idk like 3 or 4 days now, and i dont feel super strong cravings, but its just so hard to follow my food rules while actively trying to get over a nicotine addiction, i really really really want to just say screw my health and start replacing all my meals with cigarettes until i'm thin
[Rant/Rave] Going to beach today and I'm actually okay with it
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 01:16:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lk6b6/going_to_beach_today_and_im_actually_okay_with_it/
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But it's only because I haven't eaten more than 500 calories for the last 48 hours. And most of that has been from beer and rose.
Plus, I always have trouble sleeping when I don't eat so that plus the constant stream of cigarettes + monsters means I've been getting shit DONE. #thesislife
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes people blow
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 6 00:57:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lk3jn/sometimes_people_blow/
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So I was having a pretty decent day. I didn't follow my meal plan, but after keeping 800 calories down I felt a fuckton better than I have been. Then, I had to run to get stuff for my show and after being in a rehearsal for a show that can get triggering (long story and not ED triggering), I got some creeper commenting on how he "liked my look"
I was raised right outside NYC, so I'm not new to cat calling. Im just dealing with some trauma shit right now, and after getting to a more vulnerable place for a 4 hour rehearsal, I'm raw as fuck. I can deal because it's worth it, but I really fucking hate this shit. And besides having make up on that was mostly sweated off, I wasn't dressed up. Seriously asshole dudes: shut the fuck up. I live in the south now so it's even scarier because women standing up for themselves here is met with a lot more resistance. So I just had to get to my car ASAP before I hyperventilated myself into a bowl of tears.
I really want to recover. But this shit makes me want to starve to a point where I look terrible. Then it wouldn't be a problem. Ugh.
I'm going to try and focus on having a good ass day after having a slip, and keep trucking.
[Rant/Rave] that feeling of disappointment when...
/u/mikey-way [2 scared 2 weigh myself wooo]
Created: Thu Jul 6 00:45:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lk1wt/that_feeling_of_disappointment_when/
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you accidentally slip up and say something very very incriminating & the person you're talking to completely brushes it off.
like, on the one hand... guess I'm glad that they don't know about it, but at the same time, I just want someone to worry about me, you know?
cause I accidentally told my friend the only thing I've had in the past 26 hours is 48 oz of 0 cal monster and they just kinda laughed and pretty much ignored it.
I just want someone to worry about me, I guess. Is that bad? :(
[Intro] Hello
/u/PineapplePizzaLover
Created: Thu Jul 6 00:30:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ljzsf/hello/
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So, I'm not new to this. I just got old and fat. I need to fix this. I'm already down 5 lbs in 3 days. Also convinced SO I'm lactose intolerant.
Anyways, I just "bindged" on some mushrooms. I pulled the stawk of 3 mushrooms, chopped up fine, added a bit of garlic and parmesan cheese. (Very small amount, less than 1/4 of a teaspoon) filled 4 mushrooms, baked at 350 for 5 minutes just to get warm. Ate, and full.
Nice to meet you all. I hope to find a space here. I'm 5'10. Lowest was 123. Been hospitalized twice. I'm now 225.8. Was 232, icky. I need to lose this and gain my self control back.
<3
[Rant/Rave] Tired of Me
/u/IAmARetailRobot
Created: Thu Jul 6 00:23:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ljyqh/tired_of_me/
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I'm the only person who stops myself from being in control of myself. I've lost two pounds in four days and I'm ready to be back into the double didgets. I'm in control now, I am no longer a slave to temptations, and I'm no longer a slave to food.
[Help] Chew and Spit.
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Thu Jul 6 00:00:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ljv4g/chew_and_spit/
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What percentage of calories do you guys think are consumed from chewing and spitting? I have been struggling so much with this lately, it feels so wasteful and I’m so scared that the calories are absorbing in my mouth even though I’m not swallowing, turning me into a 🐋
I tried to research this online but can hardly find any info. It seems like one of those “hardly talked about” elements of an ED.
[Help] Started a new job today and I'm already freaking out about lunch. Could use some suggestions on what to bring from home.
/u/lunaceres_ [5'3 | 117 | 21.30 | -11 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 23:09:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ljna5/started_a_new_job_today_and_im_already_freaking/
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So I quit my job that was sucking my will to live where literally everyone just sat around eating and complaining about how fat they were getting for a new job that hopefully is gonna be a better gig. I mean it's retail so it's bound to drive me nuts, but on the upside I'm doing a lot of merchandising and floor sets and shit like that so I'm hoping I can do enough running around the store to have it count as legitimate exercise. Anyway.
So I had my orientation today and the girl training me was like bound and determined she was gonna feed me. She's showing me the break room and is offering me popsicles out of the freezer and tries at least three times to get me to eat leftover cake from the 4th of July party they had. I want zero parts of this which seems to baffle this woman to no end that I won't eat. So they apparently like their communal eating at this job too, god help me.
On the upside I only get a half hour for lunch here as opposed to the hour I had at my last few jobs where half the time I picked at my lunch and then just stared at the wall until I had to go back to work. Less time means pretty much no running out for food, which is a plus. I'm just having a hell of a time figuring out what to bring from home for lunch every day. My last job everyone was super judgmental about food and everything I ate always got picked at and critiqued and I'm having an awful time figuring out what to bring for lunch that looks "normal" enough to avoid a repeat at this job with my lunches. I tried searching for lunch posts and didn't have a ton of luck. I'm just trying to figure out what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Stressed about the cost of food
/u/Thinnerthanjennerrr
Created: Wed Jul 5 22:29:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ljgnx/stressed_about_the_cost_of_food/
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On mobile don't understand the whole flair thing but I guess rant?
Just really dissapointed in myself for letting a lot of my fresh food go bad and I'm too poor to go out and buy more safe foods at the moment. Probably will be for like another week. I keep eating bad foods cuz its all I have around me. Does anyone else just get really bummed out at the cost of decent food? Or just not having the willpower to STOP eating shit that's in front of you?
After the holiday weekend getting the best of me (ribs, rolls, alcohol) and feeling bad about myself I really want to get back on track but I can't until I get paid again....
[Rant/Rave] Sudden surges of discipline for arbitrary things?
/u/fruitandfood
Created: Wed Jul 5 22:27:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ljgal/sudden_surges_of_discipline_for_arbitrary_things/
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I was meeting up with a friend i hadnt seen in about two months supposedly tomorrow but i moved it to later and for some reason the fact they used to want to date me and i declined means i have to look amazing so they dont look at me and shudder wondering what they were thinking being into me?? Like wtf brain. And ofc "looking pretty" means being as thin as can be but that only applies to me in my mind no one else
Anyway that added some discipline but i still only had about 1/2 the deficit i wanted losing a lb a week but then i realized i was going to a party this weekend and it was a massive switch to 100% calm, go brush my teeth 2 ensure i dont eat, do *another* workout for the day with more workouts planned for the day and all this shit
But completely calm and basically relieved that i cant "trap" myself into eating a healthy amount
Anyway, long incoherent ramble, but im sure lots of you guys have had those switches! What were some of yours over?
[Rant/Rave] My hands are tied and I'm at war of head versus heart it's always been this way.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Wed Jul 5 21:27:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lj5f6/my_hands_are_tied_and_im_at_war_of_head_versus/
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On mobile flair as rant rave.
I am a week out of the hospital. Pretty much binged like 8 out of the last 10 days and probably gained a fuck ton of weight and I'm supposed to go to DC in a week to see my SO.
I feel fucking awful. I am still a bit anemic and so i have moderate stomach pain which makes me want to not eat but I also feel really tired more so than usual.
I want to fast the next five to six days and try and undo some of the damage I caused during my hospital and post hospital time.
This seems dangerous and probably not a good idea but this disorder never thrived on common sense or concern for my health.
I am reminded of the song "this disorder" by the Features. It pretty much describes how I feel being anxious, bipolar and having and ED.
This disorder what's happening to me?
I guess since I can't afford food right now it will be hard to binge anymore I don't have any food and feel like I can't eat my parents food after the previous shopping trip where I broke down crying after having to pay for my groceries.
I need positive affirmations and good vibes I don't feel so great folks.
Willow.
[Discussion] Appetite suppressants
/u/gracewisc [5'6 | 166lbs | 26.8 | -36lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 21:19:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lj3zb/appetite_suppressants/
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Hello all! I'm rather new here but I'm really struggling in the restriction/binge cycle. I got put on 150mg of Wellbutrin XL and just got bumped up to 300mg. I'm also on a max dose of Buspar. Will these take away my appetite? Has anyone had experience with meds?
[Discussion] For those of you who have been to therapy...
/u/run_far_girl [5'0 | CW: 92 | BMI: 18.9/17.96 | Pear for love, Pear for life]
Created: Wed Jul 5 21:07:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lj1os/for_those_of_you_who_have_been_to_therapy/
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What are your red flags or deal breakers in a therapist? I met with a new ED therapist today and I don't know how I feel about it yet.
I have a fairly good idea of some the personality and therapy styles that work so far (he is primary therapist #7), but I am a bit in the grey about why some of my matches didn't work out. My transitions have usually been related to increasing level of care ("I just don't feel comfortable seeing you in OP/IOP/PHP anymore") or insurance just generally being awful.
Either way I am going to give it a shot for at least a few sessions and try to hope for the best, but I am curious about ED-specific therapy experiences.
[Rant/Rave] Going to undo all of this
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 130 lbs | -21 | GW 115 | LW 128 |21.09 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 20:59:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lj02k/going_to_undo_all_of_this/
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I've been eating so fucking much since my boyfriend was here. It's like we go out for burgers and shit all the time and I eat all of it. Like my fat binge disorder ass eats whatever is in front of me and I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of feeling bloated and unsexy all the time.
Tomorrow I start new. I'm going back to my LW starting with a fast. Sorry to get dramatic I'm just so fucking sick of feeling like this. I liked myself a lot better when I didn't have to feel my thighs slap together when I sit down. If anyone wants to join me I'm starting my fast officially at midnight. You guys are so great, thanks for listening.
[Rant/Rave] I'm full of alcohol, cake, and shame
/u/datmanateelife
Created: Wed Jul 5 20:51:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6liyh3/im_full_of_alcohol_cake_and_shame/
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Hope everybody's having a better night than me :(
[Rant/Rave] i can't keep from bingeing without a combination of ephedrine, adderall and caffeine
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 20:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6livtd/i_cant_keep_from_bingeing_without_a_combination/
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im going to die of a heart attack by 35
[Discussion] E-Cigs and appetite suppression?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 20:36:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6livhc/ecigs_and_appetite_suppression/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Is it possible to permanently recover from a truly horrible ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 20:24:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lit1n/is_it_possible_to_permanently_recover_from_a/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] (mini) grocery haul!
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:185lbs | CW: 144lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 20:01:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6liomj/mini_grocery_haul/
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https://i.redd.it/98x0ze7hqv7z.jpg
[Other] I found this website that tells you how many ounces of fat you combusted, beers/cheeseburgers you burned off, etc and it's amazing
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Wed Jul 5 20:00:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6liog5/i_found_this_website_that_tells_you_how_many/
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http://i.imgur.com/9r4fMjR.png
[Rant/Rave] I binge when people come
/u/welpthatreallysucks [♀ 5'4" | ⚖ 205 | -31lbs| 🇨🇦]
Created: Wed Jul 5 19:36:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lijp1/i_binge_when_people_come/
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We had a lot of family in town for this past week... I've eaten so much that if I counted I'm going to hate myself.
We're talking way over bmr
Ugh... before this I was happy and restricting under 400 daily for a few weeks.
. Now I'm going to have to deal with becoming hungry trying to slow down again fml.
[Rant/Rave] I hooked up with a girl last night...
/u/foreverthefatgirl [5'11 | CW: FAT | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 19:33:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6liiz0/i_hooked_up_with_a_girl_last_night/
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And now I hate myself lol. Not for hooking up with her, but because she was positively gorgeous (blonde, SUPER skinny, big boobs, basically everything I'm not) and my gross body shouldn't have been anywhere near her. I've been curious about my sexuality for the past few years, and now that I finally had the chance to do something about it, my ED ruined it 🙃
[Help] Instagram
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 19:19:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lig5n/instagram/
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So I finally made an instagram account and I'm only using it for thinspo. Now I need more people to follow. Any suggestions?
[Rant/Rave] Why am I still fat eating ≤600 calories a day I say as I chug my 12th mug of wine
/u/darthtaters
Created: Wed Jul 5 18:12:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6li2pj/why_am_i_still_fat_eating_600_calories_a_day_i/
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I would be so much skinnier (and probably happier) if I could quit drinking. God
[Help] Any hidden gems for small clothes?
/u/slimesprinkle [5'2" | 88lbs | 16.7 | ?? | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 18:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6li18u/any_hidden_gems_for_small_clothes/
---
I'm trying to feel good about myself again and I want to buy some new clothes that actually fit. Most of the 'petite-centric' fashion advice (especially on Reddit) is the same old stuff -- go to Extra Petite's blog! (Sizes she wears are too big for me and I don't want to look older, I want fun cute clothes) Try the petite section at Ann Taylor Loft/Banana Republic/JCrew! (Again, I don't want corporate casual, I want fun clothes) Buy clothes from Asia! (This just seems like a tip someone said once and people keep regurgitating with no actual link. I've looked at tons of Asian clothing sites and their size charts are too big, and the stuff I've purchased has been low quality and doesn't fit) Try kids' clothes! (Kids clothes are cut for children, and I have a woman's body) Get stuff tailored! (I don't have the money or the time, I work full-time, have a toddler, and run my own business) Try this -insert generic mall store here-, I went to buy something there five years ago and it ran small! (Vanity sizes at places like American Eagle, Abercrombie, PacSun etc. has EXPLODED in the past few years and 00 and even 000 means nothing there anymore)
Are there any specific places anyone has tried that have small sized clothes that are actually slim-fitting and isn't businesswear? I'm going crazy over here...
[Goal] Brooke Hyland from Dance Moms is body goals
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 18:03:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6li10y/brooke_hyland_from_dance_moms_is_body_goals/
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http://i.imgur.com/cpEMbMk.jpg
[Help] I'm not even fasting wtf
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 95.4lbs | 17.37 | HW ~125lbs | 👬]
Created: Wed Jul 5 18:01:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6li0mm/im_not_even_fasting_wtf/
---
I'm trying to actually eat at maintenance for a bit, or even a little above but because of shitty sleep lately my body and brain are acting like I've been fasting and I feel like absolute GARBAGE
I'm at work right now and would appreciate any tips on how to stop the shaking and nausea x.x
[Help] Help. ended up eating a lot (1600ish cal) today, would it be better to lift weights or do cardio or both to work it off?
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Wed Jul 5 17:53:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhz0f/help_ended_up_eating_a_lot_1600ish_cal_today/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhz0f/help_ended_up_eating_a_lot_1600ish_cal_today/
[Discussion] Balancing high stress job and ED
/u/HausDeKittehs [5'1"| CW103lbs | BMI19.46 |Lost 10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 17:48:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhy1c/balancing_high_stress_job_and_ed/
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Hey guys! This is mostly just a vent, but if you have any suggestions they are welcome and appreciated.
I've had EDNos for about 16 years now, and I'm relapsed at the moment. It's really affecting my job. Without giving too much detail, I am in charge of a 130 person team (not all at once) and I need to be actively moving, teaching, coaching, and super observant in a high "impact" location of a company. I'm really struggling with anxiety when I start to feel hunger. It isn't feasible for me to go make a tea or even grab water frequently. I carry nicotine gum in my pockets like a crazy person.
Even if I don't plan in eating, feeling like I don't have that option makes me panic. This USED to be welcome, and I'm not sure what's changed in me. I work 9-13 hour days depending on workload.
What do you guys do to stay sane and "normal" under pressure where you can be observed? This is my livelihood and I am trying to advance my career. I am afraid my ED will take this from me too, and I will break down sobbing, disappear from my work duties, or start bping at work :(
[Rant/Rave] Trying not to beat myself up over a binge
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Wed Jul 5 17:37:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhvz3/trying_not_to_beat_myself_up_over_a_binge/
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I binged for the first time in two weeks today and my calories total is over 3k for the first time in over a month. Sigh. I feel like shit. I'm not going to make myself purge but I just feel like a failure
[Rant/Rave] When you really want to eat your planned meal...
/u/tiredoldyouth [5'9.5" | CW: 130 | BMI: 18.51 | GW: 125]
Created: Wed Jul 5 17:33:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhv8o/when_you_really_want_to_eat_your_planned_meal/
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...but you're waiting to eat it in front of someone so they can stop worrying about you. Anybody else do this, and does it drive you crazy?
*Why won't you hurry up and get here so I can eat my damn soup?*
On mobile, can't flair!
[Rant/Rave] How do you have a personality while restricting?
/u/Littleduckling8667
Created: Wed Jul 5 17:23:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lht9g/how_do_you_have_a_personality_while_restricting/
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I don't know how to phrase it any better lol when I'm restricting I always feel spacey and foggy and can't engage in conversation as much. How do you guys deal with this and still act like a normal person?
[Help] Turning to drugs after starting recovery.
/u/salviaplath_13 [5'1 | CW: 103 | 19.5 | GW: ??? | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 17:16:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhrq9/turning_to_drugs_after_starting_recovery/
---
I narrowly avoided being admitted into a partial hospitalization program last month. I came very close but I didn't want to go SO bad that it gave me a strong motivator to try and enter recovery immediately. So yeah, I guess I'm in the first stage of recovery for about a month. Only relapsed a few times with purging and am eating like 1600 a day. I immediately started going out with friends and drinking and having fun, yay! Finally, I could leave the house without having horrible purge bloating and feeling overall shitty physically and emotionally! So, that quickly became my new coping mechanism. Long story short, I spent $130 on cocaine this past weekend, went home with a guy 13 years older than me and did blow with him all night. Now I'm not some coke fiend now, but today all I can think about is how amazing I felt. Free from my pain. I can't afford anymore and found myself even thinking about buying cheaper option.. I'm just spiraling. I told my therapist I did coke at a bar a few weeks ago and that was difficult to admit. I don't know how I could tell her about my horrible decisions on saturday. It's so humiliating, but I don't know how to process this. I'm just a huge ball of self-destruction.
[Discussion] Anyone else can't have ANY food in the house without binging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 16:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhmg3/anyone_else_cant_have_any_food_in_the_house/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I feel like D E A T H
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 16:14:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lhevc/i_feel_like_d_e_a_t_h/
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I have to take gym in summer school and we have 5 hour classes with almost non stop movement and I actually feel like I'm dying. I eat nothing until I get home (2:30) and by then I just fucking collapse from exhaustion. I know there's an easy fix for this but fuck me if I have to eat in the morning. I almost vomited/ passed out on my way home because I was so overworked. Oh well lol.
[Rant/Rave] I went to a friends house after binging
/u/flyingmonkeyssaymoo
Created: Wed Jul 5 14:58:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lgxj3/i_went_to_a_friends_house_after_binging/
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I ate 5/6 of a buffalo chicken pizza, 6 pop tarts, 6 granola bars and I couldn't throw it up. So I went to my friends house. I was lethargic and bleh and thirsty the entire time. After my fourth cup of water I felt sick, went to her bathroom, and spewed everywhere. On the carpet. On the mirror. Fml. Accidental purging is the worst! I smell like vomit and I feel so bad.
[Rant/Rave] I don't care about my body's health, but I want my brain to work, gosh darn it
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Wed Jul 5 14:54:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lgwon/i_dont_care_about_my_bodys_health_but_i_want_my/
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I have no ability to focus. I just show up at work and google things about eating disorders until time passes and I head home. I stare at the clock, counting down the hours until I can eat/not eat. Nothing interests me. My anxiety is through the roof.
I don't like living this way, but I don't know what to do. Is it worth it, I ask myself? Is it worth getting to 90? 88? An overwhelming part of me is answering "yes".
Even without an ED, I feel like my brain has never properly worked. Whether it's because I'm intellectually below average, just plowed over with depression or what...I just wish I had enough clarity to think and make rational decisions. At this point, I will probably be fired. I am aloof at work. I'm constantly tired, but I can't get myself to care. I feel so incredibly sad and sick.
Until then, I'm aiming for under 1000 calories. And you know, I feel a little better already. Sometimes I truly feel like I am going to die by suicide. And I get a feeling of mostly relief.
[Discussion] Bronkaid reviews?
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 14:41:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lgti8/bronkaid_reviews/
---
Who here uses bronkaid? Do you like it? Help me out! My diet pills are discontinued :(
[Discussion] At what weight do you look your best?
/u/diet247x [5'3 | CW: 134 lbs | -21 lbs | GW: 110 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 14:17:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lgnlc/at_what_weight_do_you_look_your_best/
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I'm currently struggling to lose 15 pounds, and since it's not my first time around I already know that I look drastically different at 127 lbs (compared to my CW at 134 lbs). It's crazy to me how big of a difference this 7 lb range is to my face/overall body. I'm 5'3.
Wondering if you guys have a magic number weight where you look your best!
[Discussion] What has your ED ruined for you lately?
/u/cananabananabal [5'8" | 193 | 29.3 | 35lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 14:14:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lgmx8/what_has_your_ed_ruined_for_you_lately/
---
For me, it was the 4th of July. It was supposed to be fun - the only fun I've had in a while because I'm also a depressed suicidal mess - and I spent an hour picking out an outfit and making myself presentable. I've lost 40 out of 100 pounds in only two months so I have a ways to go but at least I'm getting there. I was going to my friend's brother's band show at a theme park with fireworks. Should've been great. I only have the one friend and I haven't talked to him lately (even though he's my roommate...I never see him or text him anymore) so I was excited at the possibility of having some fun.
I got there, saw my friend at the front of the stage, dancing with his girlfriend and a big group of friends and just crumbled. Everyone there was skinny. Gorgeous. Happy. I was a disgusting fat whale, why did I think I looked okay? I imagined going up to their group and trying to dance with them, only to have everyone physically recoil away from me. They would laugh at me, at my outfit, at my face, at my body. I ran to the bathroom to cry and spent the whole night leaning on a guardrail at the back side of the stage blinking away tears by myself.
At the end of it, my friend came to see me and I cried some more but still had to go say hi to everyone because they knew I was there. Up close they were all even better looking. I didn't belong. (That's not even my ED talking, that's just fact.) they're all like instagram models and then Fat Ugly Me was awkwardly off to the side. I was the fattest one by a LOT. I got out of there as fast as possible.
I know that's a combination of ED + depression + who knows what else mental issues, but it still counts. I'm curious what's happened lately with everyone where their ED went "nope, can't do that."
[Rant/Rave] My body has clearly defied the laws of physics
/u/throwaway2416256
Created: Wed Jul 5 13:46:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lgg0n/my_body_has_clearly_defied_the_laws_of_physics/
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I had been in a binge cycle the past couple weeks (back under control today, wish me luck). I went to weigh myself before I showered bracing for the worst and I was about 4 lbs less than I was expecting as a minimum. I actually lost weight?! I can't even be happy because I'm in total shock??? I wasn't counting calories but I was eating family size bags of chips and lots of candy, I just feel like there's no way I could've been at a caloric deficit, the only answer is my body has defied the laws of physics. Now I guess I should be happy lol, but next time I go 1 calorie over my limit I'm gonna gain 10 lbs automatically to make up for this I'm sure
[Intro] Hi new friends
/u/Minionhunter [5'6" | CW:172 | UGW:130 | F27]
Created: Wed Jul 5 13:25:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lgar5/hi_new_friends/
---
I've been watching/reading the posts here for a few weeks now and feel like it's time for me to ask a question I've had for quite some time.
I have a really hard time staying away from alcohol. On holidays like yesterday I try to tell myself "It's okay, you can stop being so damn controlling" but then there are mornings like today that I not only feel like total shit physically and am being ridden with guilt for making myself get fatter and fatter.
How do you hide not drinking during social gatherings? In bars where I can't fake a cocktail, what the hell do I do?
I have to stop letting myself have freedom to drink. But having that conversation with friends or family on why I'm not participating in boozing is so scary.
Thanks for reading, hope you guys are having a productive and good Wednesday.
[Help] Had an idea (outfit sharing) that I wanted to post, just a thought but I realized it might help me and some people here too
/u/Profeshed
Created: Wed Jul 5 13:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lg99h/had_an_idea_outfit_sharing_that_i_wanted_to_post/
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Since forever (probably 13) I've had all these outfits I've always wanted to wear out when I felt like I finally looked good. 13 years later I still haven't reached that point, and all these cute clothes are sitting hidden in my closet and I only get to dream of wearing them. Well I'm still working on reaching my goal but I was thinking, what would you guys think of me/other people posting pictures of themselves in the outfits they're been wanting to wear but still don't look ideal in yet? I still try the outfits on but I don't want to wear them outside because my legs aren't slim enough or I still have some muffin top. But you guys don't know me here and I feel like we're all in the same boat. So maybe I could share my cute outfits and you guys can ignore that some pieces are a little too small or that one top fits well and isn't drapey like I'd want it to be when I finally wear it out.
And everyone else could share too. You get to show us what you're saving to wear outside someday (and you could even just lay the clothes out on the floor if you don't feel comfortable putting them on) and all you'll get is positive and loving support from everyone here.
I would think some rules would have to be zero commenting on how people look in the outfits (unless the poster specifies that it's ok)--if any of you are like me, hearing someone tell me I look great in something when I don't believe them doesn't make me feel any better. So comments would literally have to be just about the clothes (again, unless the poster wants those kinds of comments) and sharing and support for anyone.
But I wonder if you guys think this would be helpful. I want everyone here (from those who are overweight to underweight, rich to poor) to feel comfortable with this, because the purpose of this is to feel some positive feedback for all the things we've been "waiting on," but if anyone worried that this could make some people feel bad then maybe we shouldn't post this.
Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] Family showing concern is adding so much guilt
/u/CuppyCakesLovey [5'5 | CW:97 | BMI:16.14 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 12:29:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lfxad/family_showing_concern_is_adding_so_much_guilt/
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... I have never really had the closeness from family other than my very overprotective parents {only child had late in their lives}. So I have never really considered how my actions would effect them.
Craving that closeness others have with their families I decided it would be a great idea once I saw my aunt on FB to add her so we could become closer possibly?
Forgetting the fact that she is going to college to get her a degree in counseling. FML.... Such a mistake this ended up becoming.
My parents were already aware of my struggles and have been trying to help & understand {which is hard for them as it is as they often blame themselves for anything wrong}. With having everything out in the open I was feeling much better. Sharing my feelings in words and pictures on IG only usually I wanted to share how great I was feeling with my mental demons and steps to recovery on my FB.
Seeing the current picture of myself only {not the words about me recovering or my happiness} she took it upon herself to call my dad behind my back telling him how worried she was for me and informing him all about EDs. How I needed help. He lucky told her he knew this about me and said he saw how much better I was getting. That I told him all about it and he was letting me help myself which is what I wanted.
I feel a tangle of things from this. Very surprised by my dad's reaction in a great way. I feel supported and loved by him so much. He is there and let's me come to him and does not make me feel guilty or shame. Than underneath that there is feelings of hurt, sadness, and betrayed from my aunt. She has never been in my life ever and when she enters it this is the first thing she does?
I do not feel upset about her showing concern. That is understandable and it is nice to have people who care. I am upset about her going behind my back with this. She is always complaining to my mom about how I need to grow up yet instead of coming to me saying she is scared for me she goes and treats me like a child and talks to my parents.
Sorry for the long rant...just needed a safe place to let go of these feelings.
Hope you all are doing well xx
[Rant/Rave] It's not personal...
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Wed Jul 5 12:27:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lfwq4/its_not_personal/
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"Why can't you stand for me to be in the room with you?"
*Ugh.* I didn't mean it like that. I'm just trying to fucking *eat* and it's difficult to do my little rituals and feel safe with someone else just *sitting* in here for some reason. :\
[Humor] You know you have An ED when:
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | nb | sw 190lb 🐳 | cw 129.8lb 🐷 | bmi 23.7 | gw 90lb 💖]
Created: Wed Jul 5 12:23:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lfvxk/you_know_you_have_an_ed_when/
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http://i.imgur.com/sirLCxR.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Falling into a work-week binge cycle that's getting BAD.
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | Female]
Created: Wed Jul 5 12:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lfudj/falling_into_a_workweek_binge_cycle_thats_getting/
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So I have always had a habit of hitting up the grocery store over my lunch hour on Mondays to buy my safe foods for my desk for the week at work. I get like, a box of low cal granola bars, diet pepsi, a few bottles of powerade zero, bag of carrot stix, 70 cal yogurts, ya know those safe staples yo. Then I keep them at work and that is my allowance for eating that week which really helps me not to binge since I know exactly what is "allowed".
Well, lately I have been getting binge foods along with my safe foods on Mondays at the grocery store and eating them in my car before going back into work. It started with me justifying it as "it's just one treat on one day, so it's fine" and I would get a pint of halo top or something. Then, like anything else we try to do in "moderation", it progressed to one item of bad treats. A bag of chips or a small pint of real ice cream.
And now, as of today (which was my Monday due to the 4th) I am stuffing down donuts, chips, snack cakes and whatever else I feel like in my car before I go back into work with my healthy foods. I feel awful. My stomach is stuffed to the point of pain, I blew my calorie count like I dont even wanna know and I hate myself with just utter disgust. This binge cycle is awful and I need to break it. Eff.
[Other] [Haul] - breakfast!!
/u/Goodmorningfatty [5'4" | CW: 120 | BMI: too big | WL: 25 | Fluid]
Created: Wed Jul 5 11:21:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lfgm3/haul_breakfast/
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https://i.redd.it/lmyn374g5t7z.jpg
[Other] lets share our latest #EDlogic moments
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 105| 17.5 | gw 104 | ugw 98]
Created: Wed Jul 5 10:27:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lf3po/lets_share_our_latest_edlogic_moments/
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im very seriously intending to chew and spit an entire cannister of cashews today just to stop me from eating them cuz ive been eating them in bed all last week. i feel too guilty to throw away food but as long as i chew it its fine right!!!
[Rant/Rave] I don't want this anymore
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Wed Jul 5 09:48:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6leuf3/i_dont_want_this_anymore/
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Usually I have a few of what I guess you guys call "safe foods." I could live on fruits, vegetables, eggs, hot sauce, cheese, deli meat, and mustard (and coffee of course).
Right now I feel like I have no safe food except coffee and Kombucha. Which aren't even foods.. I'm actually happy with every part of my body except for my damn thighs and they're making me afraid to eat.
I also have a fear of the effects of malnutrition and have horrible health anxiety so that's a great combo. Plus I have to manage not looking too skinny because I can't have people finding out I have an ED.
I feel all these pressures pushing me in different directions and there's no balance that could make me comfortable and happy and normal. And it sucks.
[Discussion] How are you motivating yourself rn?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 09:34:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ler74/how_are_you_motivating_yourself_rn/
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I know it's materialistic as fuck but I got a $50 Sephora gift card for my birthday and I'm not letting myself spend it until I reach my GW. Only 14 lbs to go
[Tip] FOR NOODLE & PASTA LOVERS
/u/dankdesty [5'10|CW 117|GW 110|UGW 105|F| -3lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 5 09:28:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lepvf/for_noodle_pasta_lovers/
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Soo, Tumblr is supppper great for me when I need ideas for new safe foods, I recently saw a safe food list, & the last item was something called Yam Noodles & that you could eat lots because they are superrr low cal.. anyways I LOVE PASTA but have been trying to avoid it cause ya kno..FAWK A CARB YO! ANyways I looked them up they are called Shirataki noodles & they are like gelatinous & full of water,, Im gonna link a recipe page, & CHECK IT OUTT THE FIRST RECIPE IS ONLY 170 cals & hugggggggge!! its also Vegan & gluten free which sticking to has helped tremendously in my restriction! http://www.homesweetjones.com/2016/06/shirataki-noodles-preparation-recipes/
[Thinspo] Restriction Rewards // more motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 09:16:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6len3z/restriction_rewards_more_motivation/
---
https://i.redd.it/hs1g5bqbjs7z.jpg
[Help] Help with meals out of my control?
/u/naughtynugget
Created: Wed Jul 5 09:03:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lekav/help_with_meals_out_of_my_control/
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So I'm at camp this week (I'm a counselor) and I have absolutely no control over what I get served to eat. I'm trying to stay at like ~700 kcal, which is more than I would like but I allowed some extra for all the physical activity I'm doing. I can usually get away with cereal for breakfast (100), salad and fruit for lunch and dinner (150 x 2 meals). I'm walking about 4-5 miles a day and doing tons of swimming, dancing, etc so I'm kind of STARVING by the end of the day. Problem is, they only have liters trash snacks... chips, Oreos, donuts.. literally nothing even remotely safe. I've destroyed my deficit two days in a row just in the last hour of being awake just because I'm so hungry and that's all they have. Usually I would bring my own safe snack, but I can't do that here. Any ideas on how to stop the binge? I'm on an EC stack but can't quite get the timing right to make it effective, so any advice on that would also be awesome.
[Humor] In the name of the moon, i will punish you!
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Jul 5 09:00:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lejn5/in_the_name_of_the_moon_i_will_punish_you/
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https://i.redd.it/bv51vq0kgs7z.jpg
[Help] Help I'm scared
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 09:00:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lejkc/help_im_scared/
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Being over dramatic maybe.
I go to an art class on Wednesdays, I love it but it kills me because every single time they bring food like cake and pastries and I can't handle it because I'm in good spirits I eat it... A lot of it. and then hate myself so I need help. What do I do.
I fast all day at work before I go so today I brought a tin of chickpeas with me, some tuna and half meal replacement shake to eat before I go on so I'm at least not starving but I'm scared it won't work and I'll end up eating it and the self hate will begin.
How do I like... Make sure I don't eat it? 😰 I hate knowing I might do something to trigger myself it's so dumb, and actually being scared of it is even worse!!!
[Rant/Rave] The 4th of July prevented a binge...
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 136.6 | BMI: 28.09 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 08:09:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6le8oq/the_4th_of_july_prevented_a_binge/
---
So I have been heavily restricting for over a couple months now with no cheat or binge days, and last night my SO went to grab some takeout for me and the kids and he asked (because he thinks I’m just “dieting”) what I could have and I told him I wanted to stuff my face with Chinese food since I’ve bean “eating so healthy” but I’d just get a veggie sub from subway since he was going there.
Well, he texts me that subway is closed for the 4th, so my heart races and I say “this is a sign, I need the general tso’s and some fried rice”. Not too long after that, he texts back that the Chinese place is also closed, but the publix deli is open, and I’m like “fuck it, get me a veggie sub, but make it a wrap because carbs.”
I was irrationally angry last night, but my grumbling stomach this morning made me , idk... thankful?
[Rant/Rave] This shit has got to go
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 07:26:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldzxs/this_shit_has_got_to_go/
---
I got up early to clean/unpack/organized and I'm now laying down because within an hour I got overheated and dizzy.
Oh hai meal plan, lets be friends again. Because I can take a break now, but I can't during tech week. Shit.
[Rant/Rave] I just want a skinny face
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Wed Jul 5 07:12:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldx7c/i_just_want_a_skinny_face/
---
Okay, I want a skinny body too, but for some reason I'm obsessed with my face. At my low weight, which I'm currently like four to five pounds above, fuck me, my cheekbones were a little hollow and I had a nice delicate jaw line and now... it's like if my face looks puffy I feel like the rest of me isn't skinny enough to not look fat. Does anyone else deal with this? Like I am always subconsciously feeling my jawline to see how much fat is there :(
[Help] Road trip junk food :(
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Wed Jul 5 06:22:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldo4m/road_trip_junk_food/
---
Sorry guys, I've been posting here a lot recently, I hope none of you mind. So, today begins our road trip. Normally, we'd just drive 7 hours straight, but my sister needs to go to an art museum for a school summer project. Which basically means two days straight of junk food that I can't avoid. Can anyone help me? I just want to be able to eat the least of this high calorie garbage called 'food' and minimalist the damage. This is going to be the death of me, guys. I'll try to get low calorie stuff but a lot of fast food places don't actually say the cals for all their food. My TDEE is about 1,500-1,600 (depending on the calculator). I just want to be able to stay on track, because I know if I'm not careful I'll end up binging for a week. Thanks for reading this, even if you can't help, guys!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 5 06:12:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldmjf/daily_food_diary_july_05_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 05, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday July 05, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 5 06:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldmaj/way_to_go_wednesday_july_05_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for July 05, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] I'm getting fat and there's nothing I can do about it
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Wed Jul 5 05:34:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldgp0/im_getting_fat_and_theres_nothing_i_can_do_about/
---
I hate this fucking binge cycle. It's like my body is fighting me so it can get even more disgusting lard on itself. I can't restrict. Why can't I restrict? I just keep binging and I wake up in the middle of the night, like my body is just trying to find ways to fucking self sabotage.
I fucking hate myself. I need help. What works for you? I need help, because if I get any higher, I'm fucking shooting myself.
[Humor] Glad I didn't get pulled over tonight
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Wed Jul 5 05:29:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldfvw/glad_i_didnt_get_pulled_over_tonight/
---
https://i.redd.it/97zw66xser7z.jpg
[Goal] Finally excited to get away from this illness
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering/relapsing | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 05:22:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ldexh/finally_excited_to_get_away_from_this_illness/
---
I don't miss starvation anymore. I don't *want* to have anorexia anymore. Obviously I wish I was still bone-thin and dying, but that's just because I want my physical state to match my mental state and I still *feel* like I wanna die. But for the first time, it feels possible to like my "healthy" body one day, not soon, but eventually.
I want to go back to intuitive eating without really giving a second thought about meal plan exchanges or calories or nutrients or sugar content. I want to go back to trusting my body to adjust my appetite if I've had a bigger lunch than usual. I want to go back to eating whatever the hell I want to eat instead of the rigid options of my meal plan. If I want a bagel for dinner instead of "one protein, one starch, and a vegetable", I want to eat a gosh-darn bagel and be done and happy!
I'm not feeling "good". But I am feeling hopeful. And that's good, right?
[Humor] Basically me next year.
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Wed Jul 5 04:17:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ld5s0/basically_me_next_year/
---
http://m.imgur.com/4cqYMrV
[Help] Coffee substitutes
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 02:44:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lctjx/coffee_substitutes/
---
Hiya
I seriously need to cut down on the caffeine - I'm under a lot of academic/work stress and it's doing a number on my anxiety. I'm literally scratching my arms into sandpaper :(
I'm looking for zero cal caffeine free (!) "coffee subsititues". Something that you'd drink as that pick me up but all I've found so far has been sugary stuff.
Still drinking tea though cause I'm British and I just can't quit it...
[Rant/Rave] RANT @ office birthdays
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 122 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 02:32:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lcs4d/rant_office_birthdays/
---
I'm so upset, you guys. it's 4pm where I am and I had fasted all day (ungodly amounts of diet soda but no food) and was going to have steamed veggies for dinner (because my dad won't let me skip dinner, for sure). had 2 hours left of the workday and then, boom, a lovely sweet lady on the team I'm interning for came to my desk with a slice of cheesecake because it's her birthday. and where I sit, I'm visible to her and to everyone else, so I didn't have the choice of doing what I would ordinarily have done, which is putting it in a plastic bag and throwing it out. saying 'I'm on a diet' wouldn't work because I'm always making excuses not to join them for lunch (they eat out and I don't trust food I can't estimate calories for). and now I'm close to tears and have to present something and as an intern I can't burst into tears in front of them but oh my god I'm so upset that I had to eat that.
I'm estimating that it was 200 cals (it was a relatively small piece and so if I have a kiwi for dinner instead (<50) and walk for a while this evening, I can stop beating myself up. I know it's not like a terrible number of calories, but you guys know how it is when you have a plan and you're doing so well and then something comes out of the blue to mess it up.
[Intro] Unhealthy relationship with food
/u/qotsagirl314
Created: Wed Jul 5 01:08:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lchfg/unhealthy_relationship_with_food/
---
Somehow, in the past five years, I've developed a shit relationship with food. I've fallen into the binge/restrict cycle and I can't seem to stop... The shittier thing is that the binge days seem to be growing longer and more abundant and my restrict days are fewer and farther apart.
I don't crave food until I eat. The moment I put food in my face, no matter how little it is, I've screwed up my entire day... So I may as well make it a worthy fuck up day and shove everything into my face. What kind of logic is that?
I hate myself for getting fatter and lacking control... But I'm trying.
[Rant/Rave] Hot tip to induce nausea
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 135 | -37 lbs | F | 🍑: @lemonie]
Created: Wed Jul 5 01:06:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lch4z/hot_tip_to_induce_nausea/
---
I was on OKCupid and thought I'd look up my recent ex because I'm a fucking masochist. Reading his profile was nauseating enough... imagining him with someone else was too much.
Then I realized I went to his profile -- twice -- and not on invisible mode.
I'm probably going to actually throw up now.
------
Bonus points for all my photos being from my best ED behavior 2 years ago when I was actually skinny, and catfishing all the poor motherfuckers messaging me while I was pulling these shenanigans
[Rant/Rave] There's 600 calories in a four Loko. I've had two so far on top of way too much BBQ food
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Wed Jul 5 00:39:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lcdgb/theres_600_calories_in_a_four_loko_ive_had_two_so/
---
I'm sorry for my desperate posts tomorrow, see y'all in a few hours
[Intro] Hi
/u/kanthinkofone [5'2 | CW: 130lbs | BMI: 23.8 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 5 00:31:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lccbc/hi/
---
Hi, I just thought I should try to introduce myself. I'm not really sure what to say, or anything. This is my first time posting. So anything I should know or any advice would be very welcome. Thanks in advanced!
Hi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 5 00:21:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lcax5/hi/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] DAE hate to feel full?
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Wed Jul 5 00:06:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lc8pk/dae_hate_to_feel_full/
---
I used to eat SOOOO MUCH every day a few years ago, and now I can't stand feeling full. I basically only ever *want* to eat when my stomach is too uncomfortable to tolerate or when I get worried that I'm causing too much damage (like dizziness or feeling "sick" somehow). But if I don't feel bad then I won't eat anything. I hate feeling full, I feel bloated and gross and it just makes me angry at myself.
Maybe I'm crazy but I indulged in some rare pizza earlier that I now regret.
[Humor] Craziest fucking poop (sorry tmi)
/u/theobeseana [5'7"|CW168|HW206|GW114|she/her/hers]
Created: Tue Jul 4 23:49:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lc69i/craziest_fucking_poop_sorry_tmi/
---
So yesterday morning I had to drive for a long time, so I wanted something to emulate the bag of chips I wanted to down on the drive. I decided baby carrots would be a good idea.
Well I mindlessly ate while I drove and realized I'd eaten the WHOLE FUCKING BAG. A whole pound of baby carrots.
Thought things had already passed through but I pooped the biggest poop of my life this afternoon. It looked a little pink and I was worried there was blood in my system.
NOPE. A couple hours later i pooped EVEN MORE. AND IT WAS ORANGE. FUCKING ORANGE. Why the fuck am I like this holy fuck. It was straight orange and SO MUCH hahaha don't ever binge on carrots.
Please tell me someone else has had a similar experience?
[Rant/Rave] Rant about room assignment
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 23:21:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lc25m/rant_about_room_assignment/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just a little thought about this sub in general
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Tue Jul 4 22:48:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbx56/just_a_little_thought_about_this_sub_in_general/
---
I applaud those who choose recovery and choose to leave this subreddit. Yeah this sub is G R E A T for moral support and provides a safe outlet to those who absolutely cannot tell anyone about this thing we deal with on a day-to-day basis (who can afford therapists, and if we can--most are kind of not adept at eating disorder treatment/thearpy am i rite).
But! at the same time this sub can be very self-negative and downright encourage self-harm behaviors without meaning to. it's the nature of our EDs--misery loves company, it's less lonelier when you're suffering together, find humor in our own sufferings, yada yada etc right.
I just wanted to say I'm incredibly happy that recently many people have chosen to take on recovery; it takes so much mental strength and resilience and just an overall inner power and grace and courage. I am so insanely proud of you all; and I'm proud of this sub for being pretty open to it. Recovery isn't a straight path--because an addiction is a battle every fucking day.
I just wanted to say thanks to this sub. It may get negative at times, but most of the time it seems like there are actual people who care about each other here. Recovery is an uphill battle but those who decide to take it on have my utmost respect. And for us who are still struggling or not ready to take on that commitment, take care of yourself and don't stretch yourself too thin (memento mori).
[Humor] 4th of July: ProED edition
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 22:46:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbwyb/4th_of_july_proed_edition/
---
https://imgur.com/t1R6O7e
[Rant/Rave] Why are so many fun things ruined by food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 22:22:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbt41/why_are_so_many_fun_things_ruined_by_food/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Miscarriage! :')
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 22:12:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbrqh/miscarriage/
---
I'm so sad. I a m s. O s A D.
Im 16. I'm in a long distance relationship. He visited. We didn't use condoms because it makes it more intimate and brings us closer. He spent lots of money on plan b and I bought spermicides.
Then I suspected I was pregnant because of fun symptoms .
I was gonna take a test but I decided to wait until was closer to my periods. I overdosed on Vitamin C for awhile just in case.
Cue the worst pelvic pain of my life, that got worse e v e ry single daY. Five days. I tried to have fun with my boyfriend. On his second last day the pain was really bad, and I started bleeding pink when it's not my period and I'm pretty regular. The bleeding got *heavier*.
The next day I was in the worst pain ever. Couldn't really stand up, walk, or anything. The pains would go away for a bit but then come back super strong. Boyfriend comforted me on the couch while I cried because I knew what was happening. Then I passed this weird gray, white, pink blob thing and the pain was almost completely gone. He had to catch his flight after this happened; cue mental breakdown. I was still bleeding.
The day after I messaged a doctor, who confirmed the miscarriage as I provided photos (gruesome, I know). I went to the hospital to check everything, yes it was a miscarriage. I still may be pregnant, though.
And for some weird reason I'vebeen eating normally throughout this whole ordeal. I thought Id be restricting as much as possible, but my ED feels so trivial compared to this that I just don't care. It doesn't irk me to eat at maintenance recently. I know I'll hate myself later, but this for some reason is really pushing me towards recovery.
Sigh. Jamble of text,I'm sorry.
[Rant/Rave] My dad overeats and to soothe his concern over my eating habits I compensate by overeating and it's very disheartening. What are some of your experiences with live-in family members that encourage your ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 22:11:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbrke/my_dad_overeats_and_to_soothe_his_concern_over_my/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] If you're fasting, cause you fucked up, clap your hands!👏👏👏
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Tue Jul 4 21:46:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbnga/if_youre_fasting_cause_you_fucked_up_clap_your/
---
No, but seriously, I had a major binge this morning. Is anyone else fasting? And if so, how is it going?
flair: discussion
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Alcohol is my biggest weakness
/u/loseitjen
Created: Tue Jul 4 21:39:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbmdb/rantrave_alcohol_is_my_biggest_weakness/
---
anyone else lowkey/highkey addicted to alcohol? idek if i'm an addict but once i start drinking for the night i can't stop til i'm drunk enough to fall asleep/blacked out. and it keeps fucking me up for my daily caloric intake, even if i barely drink. ughhhh but also i can't get a "good" nights sleep unless i'm drunk. i'm a mess
[Rant/Rave] Just a vent
/u/ICanSeeYour_Pixels
Created: Tue Jul 4 21:04:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbgy6/just_a_vent/
---
I just have to get this out.
I'm obese. I'm awful, and disgusting. I binge multiple times a day, every day. I feel like food is this evil thing that dictates every aspect of my life. All I can think about is what I'm going to eat next, and when I do eat I can't stop. Even when it hurts. I need to lose weight, but I also just need to be healthy. I plan my meals for the week, meal prep, pack my lunches for work the night before, and still end up going through a drive-thru. And I don't feel like I can tell anyone. My husband and my family are all those stupidly blessed people who eat anything and are thin. None of them have ever had to worry about weight or what they're eating. Spending time around them just makes me hate myself even more. I can't admit to them that I can't control myself.
I'm laying in bed right now, so full it hurts and I feel sick. I'm working on a list of things to try do instead of binging. Here's what I've got so far:
-Meditate
-Go for a walk
-Knit
-Mani/pedi
-Brush and floss teeth
-Drink water
-Take a bath
-Stretch
-Exercise
-Clean something
-Do the dishes
-Do a load of laundry
-Read a book
-Bullet journal
-Scream into a pillow
-Garden
-Tell the binge that you are stronger than it. You are stronger than the urge to binge. Just because you want to, doesn’t mean you have to
-Take a deep breath into your belly and remind yourself that you are perfect, whole and complete exactly the way you are
-Write about what's bothering you
Thanks for listening <3
[Help] Trying not to self harm so I'm reaching out (trigger warning?)
/u/northdakotanowhere [5'7 | CW:125 | BMI:19.5 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 20:56:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbflu/trying_not_to_self_harm_so_im_reaching_out/
---
This is my first post here but I've been creeping for awhile. I've been clean from cutting for a couple months now and havent even considered it as an option since starting Effexor. That has been a miracle drug for me.
But I've transferred that self destructive energy back into my Ed. I thought I was CURED for years. Smoking weed helped. Once I quit weed in January of '17 all these problems I forgot about came rushing back. So even though I'm not getting high anymore, I'm restricting more than ever and drinking every day now. I used to hate drinking. But slowly its becoming a habit. I hate that more than the Ed. I love my Ed. I can't imagine not hating myself. But today my SO and I convinced ourselves to get a pizza. I'm freaking out right now. I ate 3 pieces and a salad and I just want to purge but I can't right now. So I'm drinking. And I have a razor left over and I'm trying so hard not to grab it and slice my fat thigh open. I know my SO is so proud of me for not cutting and I don't want to make him worry again but I'm struggling so hard right now.
Help
[Rant/Rave] Ugh
/u/Vermethys
Created: Tue Jul 4 20:48:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lbecy/ugh/
---
Fasted the entire day just to pig out at 10 pm 😩 fml
[Other] 4th of July binge? I THINK NOT (grocery haul)
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Tue Jul 4 20:12:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lb8t0/4th_of_july_binge_i_think_not_grocery_haul/
---
https://i.redd.it/na3cgcukno7z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I think I'm about to binge
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Tue Jul 4 19:23:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lb0sg/i_think_im_about_to_binge/
---
It's three in the morning. Does anyone have any fun™ stuff to do, that doesn't involve making a lot of noise? Usually I'd go play on my bass or go for a walk, but that's not an option right now. Any good TV shows?
I fucked up :( Spent the rest of the night trying to purge some salt n vinegar chips. Yesterday went so well, but I guess not today.
[Rant/Rave] The ED is annoyed and defensive and I'm conflicted
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 19:18:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lazy3/the_ed_is_annoyed_and_defensive_and_im_conflicted/
---
So I finally got batteries for my scale. I'm only down 2 lbs in like 3 weeks, so not a huge deal at all. I'm not too far off from being underweight, but far enough in my head that I want to tell my dietician to chill the fuck out.
I know that's the ED, and I'm seriously being destructive af right now and even though I want to get back on track I'm afraid of it. I blew an audition recently and that constantly makes me think "I suck at one thing I love, might as well go back to the ED because I'm doing THAT right." I'm so fucking emotional and scared all the damn time. I got invited to a bunch of things today and I was just so stressed and overstimulated I bailed. I have emotional shit to handle the next 4 days so I'm trying to find ways to keep it together.
I talked to a good friend about all of this yesterday and even though I know he's happy to help, I don't want to have anyone babysitting my ass. I don't know what to do in regards to asking for support, because no one is reliable.
Tl;dr: I'm a hot ass mess and I don't know what I want :/
[Rant/Rave] An eating disorder isn't always a pretty girl with people who care.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 19:08:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6layhc/an_eating_disorder_isnt_always_a_pretty_girl_with/
---
[deleted]
[Other] I guess it's a goodbye...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 19:04:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6laxss/i_guess_its_a_goodbye/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fireworks Are Making Me Suicidal: A short autobiography
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 18:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6law43/fireworks_are_making_me_suicidal_a_short/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] Fix It Fast
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 17:36:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6laiqm/fix_it_fast/
---
This is my plan for the next 10 days. I failed last time, but I really need to be able to fit into my business pants by the time I start work on Monday week, so no excuses this time around...
~~**Wednesday** 0 cal~~
~~**Thursday** 200 cal~~
~~**Friday** 250 cal~~ (*Morning weight: 54.8kg*)
~~**Saturday** 300 cal~~ (*Morning weight: 54.1*)
~~**Sunday** 350 cal~~ (*Morning weight: 53.6*)
~~**Monday** 400 cal~~ (*Morning weight 53.3*)
~~**Tuesday** 450 cal~~ (*Morning weight 53.5*)
~~**Wednesday** 500 cal~~ (*Morning weight 53.1*)
~~**Thursday** MONO (dal & rice)~~ (*Morning weight 53.0*)
~~**Friday** 500 cal~~ (*Morning weight: 53.7*)
Starting weight: 56 kilograms
End weight: 53.6 kilograms & I fit into my pants!
Accountability
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 17:32:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lai2f/accountability/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Thank God for homophobes /s
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | nb | sw 190lb 🐳 | cw 129.8lb 🐷 | bmi 23.7 | gw 90lb 💖]
Created: Tue Jul 4 17:18:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6lafqk/thank_god_for_homophobes_s/
---
Because I was gonna have dinner but now I've lost my appetite!
[Humor] i promised myself I wouldn't post here again! i promised myself this time was the healthy way.
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 17:14:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6laezp/i_promised_myself_i_wouldnt_post_here_again_i/
---
what a fucking joke. lol. im laughing so fucking hard. hi guys.
[Rant/Rave] When the laxatives kick in 😂🔫
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 17:12:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6laep2/when_the_laxatives_kick_in/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] Hi I'm gonna stop lurking and start talking
/u/silverblackbriscoe
Created: Tue Jul 4 17:06:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ladm4/hi_im_gonna_stop_lurking_and_start_talking/
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Hello. I'm a lurker but want to be more active. Mid 30s female, anorexic/bulimic on and off for 20 some odd years, mainly bulimic though. No symptoms these days except chewing and spitting and restricting and alright fine I guess those are symptoms.
So anyway, hi. I'm at a Fourth of July party waiting for fireworks. Everyone is outside on the roof. I'm inside by the food table.
[Rant/Rave] So excited to be home so I can poop
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 16:43:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6la9i0/so_excited_to_be_home_so_i_can_poop/
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Rave
I went on a mini vacation for 4 days with my in laws. Not only do I have a small issue with over usage of laxatives but I have a wicked public poop phobia (if I'm not home, I'm not going).
So I haven't pooped in a while and I'm just really excited to be home so I can unpack, if you catch my drift
[Humor] Apparently the Google Store knows I like anime and weightless lmao
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Tue Jul 4 16:35:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6la89c/apparently_the_google_store_knows_i_like_anime/
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https://i.redd.it/iycmo9aukn7z.png
[Rant/Rave] I'm so fucking done [pics]
/u/heyitclaire [5'4 | 108 | 18.77 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 16:31:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6la7il/im_so_fucking_done_pics/
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I don't usually post rants, but I just can't take it anymore. I just wish that I was back to my 4 year old self not working about how many calories are in what, how much I needed to exercise to burn off this amount of calories, and so on. I just want to give up and let my ed control me because I literally have no more fucking motivation to save myself anymore. I feel like a goddamn hippo no matter how much I fast and I just can't do it anymore. I can't stay fucking strong anymore. I'm a failure.
http://imgur.com/Ie1p7zh
[Discussion] Rockstar / Monster Recommendations?
/u/bed_warrior [5'10" | 255.0 | 35.57 | -78.0 lbs | F 27]
Created: Tue Jul 4 16:26:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6la6k4/rockstar_monster_recommendations/
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Hey guys! I've been starting to get into energy drinks more lately and I was looking for some recommendations. Preferably under 100 calories (as close to 0 as possible) and available in Canada (if you know).
Thanks in advance!
[Help] Weighing food in college?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 16:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6la24m/weighing_food_in_college/
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[deleted]
[Other] This game is so relatable 😓
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |152.4 lbs|22.10 Male]
Created: Tue Jul 4 15:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l9rx4/this_game_is_so_relatable/
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http://imgur.com/a/JOwDV
[Rant/Rave] Living with people who eat junk food all day...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 15:09:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l9rp4/living_with_people_who_eat_junk_food_all_day/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I need energy to make a scary phone call.
/u/HufflePuffPrid3 [4'11 | 84 | 17 | -19 | F ]
Created: Tue Jul 4 14:57:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l9p11/i_need_energy_to_make_a_scary_phone_call/
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I'd need to eat to get myself together enough to both get enough courage and coherency.
But the food seems more scary.
[Discussion] Regarding S.O.'s and/or loved ones, how can they help you and what should they not do?
/u/NavigationalError [5'2'' | cw/bmi: kms | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 14:44:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l9mfn/regarding_sos_andor_loved_ones_how_can_they_help/
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I wanted others' input on this so I could show my own SO. I couldn't think of much myself.
Better worded: This question is to help significant others and loved ones, so how can they help you feel better? How should they be approaching the topic of eating disorders? What are some things they should stay away from doing?
[Humor] So when Joey Chestnut does it, it's a world record and people cheer, but when I do it on a Tuesday night at 10 pm it's "binge eating disorder" and I "need help"
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Tue Jul 4 14:31:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l9juq/so_when_joey_chestnut_does_it_its_a_world_record/
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https://i.redd.it/b1mgsqrpym7z.jpg
[Discussion] Not sure if this has been posted before, but have any of you guys seen this? I don't even know where to start with this lol
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 99.4| BMI:19.4 l GW 90| -45 l]
Created: Tue Jul 4 13:49:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l9atx/not_sure_if_this_has_been_posted_before_but_have/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY72dUiv2g4
[Discussion] If you are married:
/u/KittyCatMan4425 [5'5 | 115 | BMIscrewit | GW100| F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 13:28:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l968g/if_you_are_married/
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How did you meet your SO?
I read through these, and I read through FPS too (teehee!), and I see that even though a lot of us are struggling to maintain, some are married.
But before you got married, did you ever feel like you were never going to find them? How did you find them? Where are more of them? Do you feel more or less attractive when they like to touch your body, or do you squirm?
I'm sorry if this isn't a cool thing to ask, I am kind of new here and don't have many friends in real life that I can talk to about this sort of thing. I try to keep my eating troubles to myself, southern girls are fucking vicious.
[Other] it's so hard for me to eat "normally" around people
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 105| 17.5 | gw 104 | ugw 98]
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:55:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8yuj/its_so_hard_for_me_to_eat_normally_around_people/
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im at home alone right now and I'm eating tiny pieces of strawberry with chopsticks to draw it out as long as possible and later im gonna be eating with my friends trying to remember to take normal sized bites and im exhausted just thinking about it lmao
[Discussion] DAE feel like they've been binging even if they haven't?
/u/purpleorangeblu
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:51:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8xyu/dae_feel_like_theyve_been_binging_even_if_they/
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So I have no idea what's been going on with me, but I've been eating around 500 calories a day. That's pushing the limits for me, but lately I haven't been hungry at all. Sometimes, I'll be around 300 for the day and "binge" the last 200. I have the emotional symptoms of a binge where I feel out of control and can't stop myself, but it's clearly not a true binge. For example, I made sugar free jello yesterday and couldn't even wait for it to set and drank the liquid (ew, I know). But for the past few weeks I've been "binging", I can't seem to feel in control. I'm scared to weigh myself because I feel like I've gained weight and the mirror tells me my stomach is getting bigger. Now, I know 1lb = 3500 calories, but I just can't shake this feeling. Does this happen to anyone else?
[Help] how can i help my girlfriend
/u/imbadwithusernames__
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8ubh/how_can_i_help_my_girlfriend/
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How am i able to help my girlfriend with this. We are in an ldr(i feel if i was closer to her i would be able to help her more effectively). I want to be able to help her because i dont think she needs to lose weight but she does because people always told her she needed to. I've been trying to get her to eat to her calorie limit and to not fast, or if she eats over it i try to reassure her that its ok. I dont know if this is helping her tho, i feel like being supportive would maybe help more but i think it would be hard to be supportive of her doing this because i know its not good but i also want to help her, i dont know how to help her.
She helps me and reminds me to eat or tells me to if i havent ate that day because sometimes i find it difficult to get out of bed to do anything other than use the restroom or take the dog out, or ill just push off eating till later, and because of her doing that ive gone from being underweight to a little above underweight, so i want to be able to help her out too but im just not sure how
[Discussion] The obsession with being empty.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:26:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8scc/the_obsession_with_being_empty/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Anyone else poor as fuck?? Looking for tips...
/u/MhmStephany [5'3" |-44 lbs | UGW 101]
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:22:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8rnr/anyone_else_poor_as_fuck_looking_for_tips/
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So yep I'm poor as hell, super depressed so I can't make myself work my online job, and have an ED (if that wasn't obvious). I need to go food shopping like today because there's literally no safe foods in my house and no safe foods = spending money I don't have on binge food. What are y'all's cheap safe foods?? Here's a list of my current safe staples below, if you have alternatives or ways to cheapen/shorten this list let me know!
Remember, it needs to be:
CHEAP. That's the key word here. I literally have less than $200 right now and I won't get paid again until August.
LOW CAL. I mean, that's a given.
**Drinks**
-Coke Zero
-Powerade Zero (this one is relatively cheap so I'm not concerned about replacements)
-Sparkling waters
-Tea (oolong, chai, green, earl grey, etc. Not a huge fan of spicy teas though. Also I do have a steeping pot so loose leaf tea works if that's the cheaper alternative)
**Food**
-100 calorie snacks ANYTHING (I have a really bad tendency to buy a gajillion different 100 calorie snack variety things and stave myself off with those. Mostly the Pringle packs, the nabisco cookie thins, popcorn, chocolate, etc. junk food basically, but it's expensive as hell in the long run to buy these and burn thru them like I do)
-Halo Top (again, expensive as fuck. This one isn't necessary, just one of my safe foods)
-45 calorie bread (have yet to find any filling for the bread that isn't astronomically high in cals and satisfying, so please give suggestions for that!)
-Frozen vegetable steamer bags (the kind that come in a light sauce or whatever)
-Healthy Choice steamers (under 250 calories, but def need a replacement for these because they're really really pricey)
-Whatever veggie/fruit I'm obsessed with that month (it comes and goes in cycles. There was a month straight I mostly ate baby carrots and pears, but I also went a month where I kept buying fruit and veg and letting it go bad. Apples are not my friend.)
-Hot pockets (this is not a safe food, why do I keep buying them)
-Canned soups (again, under 250 for the whole can or I can't bring myself to eat it)
There's probably more, but my minds all over the place right now and I haven't gone grocery shopping in over a month. You're more than welcome to ask me any questions. Help me help you help me!
Also, happy 4th! 🎉 ~~tries not to kill self~~
[Discussion] DAE feel like a fraud when they eat at maintenance?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:14:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8pr3/dae_feel_like_a_fraud_when_they_eat_at_maintenance/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Who else is being forced to eat today
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:09:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8oqu/who_else_is_being_forced_to_eat_today/
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🙃
[Intro] A mess of an introduction, but I weighed myself for the first time in months and I am freaking out.
/u/atomic_cake [5'2" | cw 142 lbs | bmi 26.91 | -18 lbs | gw 100 lbs | 29 f]
Created: Tue Jul 4 12:03:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8ni3/a_mess_of_an_introduction_but_i_weighed_myself/
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Sorry if this post is a bit of a long mess but I just weighed myself and I just want to cry. For context, last October I weighed about 130 lbs at the doctor's office. This was a lot of weight gain at the time, since I had previously been on Adderall, Wellbutrin, and Topamax and weighed about 115 not long before. I think my lowest weight was 112. I've been back on all three of these medications for almost a month now, and I have been averaging about 400-700 calories a day. There was a single day where I ate 1000 calories.
I just found new batteries for my scale and weighed myself and it said 151 lbs. I've never weighed this much in my life. My fiancé tested it as well and his weight was accurate (and to make matters worse, I now weigh more than he does). I thought I weighed 140 at my fattest off of these medications, and that now I was maybe 135 or so since my clothes were starting to feel a little more loose.
It's weird because I'm short so small amounts of weight gain tend to look really obvious. If I gained almost 40 lbs from my thinnest why can I fit in the same bras? Why did I only have to go up two jeans size? Right now I'm wearing a size small pajama pants and a size 6 tank top. I am not exercising so I know it's not muscle.
I am just not sure what to do. Do I just keep doing what I've been doing? Will I fuck up my metabolism? I can only stomach Ensure and had one for breakfast and I'm afraid to eat anything for the rest of the day. I've had agoraphobia for a while and as I was starting to feel thinner I thought I could go out more, but now I really don't want to leave my apartment.
I'm also afraid of developing a tolerance for Adderall. I've been trying to see what the lowest amount I can take is and not be hungry, and maybe skip days here and there to "reset". I'm currently prescribed 10 mg twice per day, and I've been fine just taking the first 10 mg pill or even cutting one in half and taking 5 mg. My prescription at my lowest weight before was 40 mg, and most days I only took 20. Agoraphobia was one of the reasons I discontinued taking these medications, since I couldn't bring myself to go to the doctor.
I just can't believe I have over 50 lbs to lose. I'm so disgusted with myself.
[Help] Is 0 calorie pasta/rice actually 0 calories?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 11:56:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8lut/is_0_calorie_pastarice_actually_0_calories/
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[deleted]
[Humor] Yakity yak
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Tue Jul 4 11:49:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8k99/yakity_yak/
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https://i.redd.it/r294cu5p5m7z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] In which I find another way to annihilate my body
/u/mylapfairy
Created: Tue Jul 4 11:43:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8iwr/in_which_i_find_another_way_to_annihilate_my_body/
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Binge eating!
Because the starving wasn't enough. Nope. I had to go back to this.
I'm disgusted with myself.
I'm hiding food from my family and I hate myself so much. I used to be so good at restricting. What the fuck is the matter with me?
I haven't stuck to my planned goal in weeks. Today, I was so close but my for some reason, I just had to eat.
It's always the same - ice cream, pb, trail mix, and chocolate. I've done this every day for a week. I did it today. I don't understand why I'm doing this. I feel so ashamed and powerless now.
I'm terrified of checking my weight, oh god, what if I end up regaining all the weight I lost?
I'm taking care of my younger siblings at the moment, so I've managed to make them a healthy dinner and tuck them in. I'm not good enough for this, they deserve a stronger woman.
As much as I hate people commenting on my food, I want someone to take care of me and basically tell me what to do. Because I'm useless at it.
[Rant/Rave] I am so ashamed and worried about this sudden water weight
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW151 | GW115 | BMI 24.6 | 25F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 11:17:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8d7v/i_am_so_ashamed_and_worried_about_this_sudden/
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Last Monday, I was 151.4, a weight I was maintaining at. Then I got the copper IUD, Paragard, and removed my birth control implant. Last tuesday, I was 161.5. Okay, I figured stress, a bit of water weight, nbd. I am 161.8 today. I am not eating more than I was, but definitely not 10 pounds worth of weight.
So, I did some research, and apparently, some hormonal crazy weight stuff is pretty common when you go of hormonal birth control. BUT some women report that they have weight gain on the paragard that doesn't go away!! I AM FREAKING OUT. I thought I would lose weight, since I wasn't on hormones anymore. But here we are and I feel like shit on a holiday. And honestly, I just want to kill myself. It took me 6 months to lose 20 pounds because of my goddamn lack of will power, and now I've gained 10 of those back in a week, even if it is water weight. I'm just going to cut out carbs, and pound water and idk, just hope I am not going to keep this weight. If anyone has had similar experiences, hopefully with a positive ending, let me know.
[Help] Stressed and spicy cravings
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Tue Jul 4 11:08:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l8b6z/stressed_and_spicy_cravings/
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I won't go into detail on why, but I won't be able to use a scale for at least a week. I'm super stressed because we're supposed to have a FEAST today and there's nothing i an do about it, and I can't even weigh myself now. Not only that, but tomorrow I'll be in a small, cramped car for five hours and I have to figure out a way to not get motion sickness. That'll be fun. Also, I'm getting terrible cravings for some spicy foods. Does anyone have any ideas how to make this any less horrible? I could use any help, advice, or even just random, happy facts, tbh. Especially when it comes to resisting the urge to eat all of our spicy foods. Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I hate holidays
/u/throwaway8274859
Created: Tue Jul 4 10:25:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l81qj/i_hate_holidays/
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Not only is there SO MUCH FOOD, there is so much stress.
I'm not sure how this happened, but I'm the person IN CHARGE of all the holidays. I feel like I slowly started to help my mom out by doing stuff for thanksgiving and Christmas and and slowly more and more tasks are assigned to me. Last Christmas I was so upset standing in my kitchen at 11am and everyone else was still in bed. I didn't even really need any help, but I needed someone to just be there talking to me so it didn't feel so goddamn lonely. My husband stayed up late helping me the night before, so I'll give him a pass on that day! But everyone else! Grr!!!! At least get up and see if I need help!
I have become the designated COORDINATOR. That is the job that bothers me the most. Today is July 4th. We're having a party for 30-100 people. I don't know the exact amount because friends invited friends and no one RSVPs. Yet, I'm the coordinator so I have to make it work. The thing that bothers me the most is people asking me every goddamn question. "Where do you want the trash cans?" I don't give a shit. This isn't even my house. "Where can I put this random dish I bought?" This isn't a fucking pot luck, so I don't know why people think it's acceptable to show up with a random dish that I need to find a place and serving stuff for. "Where am I supposed to park?" I have no idea. That's why I put in the invite to take Uber.
Also, men are so useless sometimes. I saw a thing once where this woman spoke about how she asked her husband for help cleaning up because they were having dinner guests and he started cleaning the garage. My husband is exactly like that. He's been working on stuff this morning, but god knows it's nothing helpful. My husband and I just got in a fight because his ONE JOB is grilling meat. I got the meat, the seasoning etc. it's prepped. His job it to stand by the grill and drink beer. This morning he asked me for *apple wood*. If he wanted apple wood, why didn't he tell me when I was shopping! I was at Home Depot yesterday! I'm too busy this morning to get it, and basically the parking here is ridiculous so we can't move our car to drive anywhere anyway. I called a friend of mine who is coming and asked if she had any but she only had *hickory* which apparently he doesn't want. He even rolled his eyes when I asked about hickory. Then I called another friend who asked if it's okay if he brought a log of apple wood. *I have no clue*. So all these people are calling me on this stupid wood hunt and asking me questions. He then told me to tell the friend that the hardware store is open and he could get applewood there. I'm not fucking telling me friend to run an errand for him. My husband again rolled his eyes at me and I lost it. I told my husband to deal with it himself because I was taking phone calls and relaying questions and answers back and forth and NOT ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING I NEEDED TO GET DONE. He told me to take a Xanax, so of course I stormed off and am crying in the bedroom.
Fuck this. If none of the food gets made TOO FUCKING BAD. it's not like I'm missing out. I WASN'T EATING IT ANY WAY.
[Humor] Never have I (or my ED) related to anything so much in my life.
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Tue Jul 4 10:15:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7zg4/never_have_i_or_my_ed_related_to_anything_so_much/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUqPsZWTJeo
[Rant/Rave] |Rave| Broke my plateau! 🎉
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Tue Jul 4 10:08:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7xzy/rave_broke_my_plateau/
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All it took was some RX level lower intestinal flushing and I'm *finally* under 115. That was my first GW when I started losing weight at 220 and I'm actually a little proud right now. I know that this is my empty weight so the scale might fluctuate still but this feels pretty good right now and I'm gonna focus on that. :)
Just 14 more lbs to go!
[Discussion] Does anyone else have weird tricks that you've found work for you?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Tue Jul 4 10:07:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7xx0/does_anyone_else_have_weird_tricks_that_youve/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Hope everyone has a good day =D
/u/We_Are_Vigilant_ [5'9"| CW164 GW150 | ~ | M]
Created: Tue Jul 4 09:44:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7su0/hope_everyone_has_a_good_day_d/
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I'm not really looking forward to it, but it won't be too bad I hope. I know some people are going to have a sketchy day for various reasons. So, good luck and godspeed.
ADHD meds
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 09:38:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7rlx/adhd_meds/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I opened up to my boyfriend about the extent of my ED
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Tue Jul 4 09:08:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7lec/i_opened_up_to_my_boyfriend_about_the_extent_of/
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And I'm so glad that I did. I told him that he shouldn't feel uncomfortable when I talk about it or feel uncomfortable asking me about it. Because if I had the flu or something we wouldn't tiptoe around it, you know? We'd feel fine just talking about my flu. And he completely understood and he realized I didn't ask to have disordered eating and that saying things like "You just have to eat" or "If you don't eat I won't eat" don't help me. I want to eat. I just can't get myself to. Or I can't let myself. And he understands. He is the only person in my life who I have been completely comfortable just offhandedly mentioning "Hey, can you watch what I'm drinking tomorrow? I don't plan on eating tomorrow and I don't want to hurt myself too bad." He just wants to help minimize the damage because he knows he can't fix everything. And I didn't realize I needed that until he said it. God damn, I love him.
[Discussion] I only eat at dinner. Can anyone relate?
/u/Onthedownlowplz [5'8"|50.6kg|16.15|M19]
Created: Tue Jul 4 08:51:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7hvv/i_only_eat_at_dinner_can_anyone_relate/
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Essentially my problem is that as soon as I eat something in very compulsive. So if I were to eat breakfast I'd usually eat/binge way to much throughout the day. I feel very alone in the idea at the moment haha so I was just wondering if someone did something similar.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND (cherry, lemon and vanilla coke zeroe)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 08:33:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7e85/look_what_i_found_cherry_lemon_and_vanilla_coke/
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https://i.redd.it/fgwzb2hq6l7z.jpg
[Humor] Ahhhh, the good ol' days 😂
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 08:20:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l7bse/ahhhh_the_good_ol_days/
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https://imgur.com/a/YGFlP
[Other] One of the more creepier things I've drawn 😭
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Tue Jul 4 07:57:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l779z/one_of_the_more_creepier_things_ive_drawn/
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https://i.redd.it/75e0t7880l7z.jpg
[Other] Pandora made a mistake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 07:56:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l777j/pandora_made_a_mistake/
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https://i.redd.it/mj2f1cf80l7z.jpg
[Other] I'll add all of you who are 25 and older on here to my reddit buddy list
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 07:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l775s/ill_add_all_of_you_who_are_25_and_older_on_here/
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[removed]
[Help] I want to eat ALL THE TIME
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Tue Jul 4 07:55:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l76wb/i_want_to_eat_all_the_time/
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Guuuys this is so shitty today is my fifth day of just binging, I can't make it stop, I feel physically ill but still just want to eat everything??! And I've gained like 1000 pounds for sure but I don't know how to make it stop any tips for making the cravings go away?
P.s I feel and look so bloated ugggggh I'm going to try to stop the binging tomorrow but thanks to the fucking bloating I'll be feeling too fat to go outside for at least 3 days gotta love ED :)
Edit: about the bloating, anyone got any tips how to make that go away as quick as possible? I have this cruise on Saturday with my friends and I would love to not be bloated af there, is it possible to get un-bloated in three days after a huge binge?
[Discussion] Asst. Questions (Chronic pins and needles? Handling family meals?)
/u/MariaCaterina [5'5" | GW: 111lbs | -20lbs | 20F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 06:57:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6wjh/asst_questions_chronic_pins_and_needles_handling/
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1. For last couple of weeks (months, maybe), my arms and legs have been falling asleep in even the mildest positions...as in, like, leaning my elbow on my desk as I write, and within 15-30 seconds, my hand starts to tingle and curl in on itself due to lack of blood flow, or even just sitting down to use the toilet, my legs will start tingling. Has anybody else experienced this and do you know what it might be? I'm wondering if it might be related to low potassium. The other day I was in the hospital for my last day of blood draws/IV/biopsies. One of the blood draws was an electrolyte panel, where my potassium was low enough to make the nurses start running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying strong-arm the lab people to run other sample to verify the results. The second sample was not so alarming, but still low (3.2 when it should be 3.5). I'm taking action about the low potassium anyway (purchased potassium gluconate (sp?) to supplement my diet, and I'm trying to eat more dates and bananas to improve the lab results as I'll be in again next week to make sure the levels have stabilized) but thought the two things might be connected. I don't know for sure that it is an ED-related issue (my nana has always had poor circulation, and I take after her physically in a lot of ways), but just curious if anyone here is familiar with the problem.
2. So, tips for handling cook-outs/family dinners? On a regular day, we generally don't eat together, so there is no one to comment on my intake, or lack of it. Holidays are a whole different animal. Thankfully, my eagle-eyed nana is with my dad in Dubrovnik, Croatia (visiting the 'Old Country') and my mom tends to be less omnipotently aware of what everyone is/is not putting in their face. I'm hoping I can play "mother's little helper" long enough that by the time all the dishes are out, condiments ready, drinks poured, places set, people will already be absorbed in the meal, or even finished, and no one will notice me just eating watermelon. Any other stogies or tips? Good luck to everyone who's in the same boat today...I hate this country's food culture.
[Discussion] Binge box?
/u/Vermethys
Created: Tue Jul 4 06:53:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6vzv/binge_box/
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Today is the first day I ever even heard of these and I want to make one but I don't know what to put in it. If any of you lovelies can give me ideas I would appreciate it! Thanks and stay safe!
[Tip] Tips!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 06:38:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6tjl/tips/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Reality check is really weird
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 06:37:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6tcy/reality_check_is_really_weird/
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So I knew the scale had said 2-3 weeks ago I had lost a fair amount of weight since leaving treatment, but I didn't physically see a difference. A week after discharge I moved into a place with only a large portrait sized mirror, so I could only see my body from the waist up. I've had pictures taken since then, but I am beginning to believe they're not the most accurate representation. I saw pictures of me taken last weekend and I looked like I had tree trunks for legs. So, since I never trust the scale when it's lower and pictures were showing I was a fucking whale I was convinced I was still huge and this became probably what covered my ass when I lied to my team about not knowing about my loss because I genuinely couldn't see it.
I now have a bathroom that has mirrors that go from ceiling to the counter on two sides, and the counter is just below hip level (tall person rant: I feel like it's a bathroom for an ant...). I finally really can see the change. I want to recover (I'm currently fucking that shit up real hard right now... but that's another story) and now my head is so far up ED's ass it's insane. I have access to my scale again, but the batteries are dead and it's a button battery I don't have on hand. So I have no idea if I'm still at the same number I was 2-3 weeks go.
2 years of consistent self destruction and no weight loss. 2 months after treatment I got back to probably the range I was in about 3 years ago. Now that I recognize it's because I'm still in a tenuous space in physical recovery, I fear that any activity I do will be enough to get me on weight restoration, which I don't want. And I'm in the middle of moving and opening a play, which requires a metric shit ton of activity! Fuck.
I feel awful ranting about this because it feels so selfish and stupid, but I feel like if I were to be on weight restoration I would binge to being really fat and stay in the ED cycle for way too long. Ugh. I'm so over this bullshit 😡
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 4 06:11:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6p6z/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_04_2017/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 04, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 4 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6p63/daily_food_diary_july_04_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 04, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] They don't trust me enough to leave me alone
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 117 | 19.2 | -113 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Tue Jul 4 06:06:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6ofj/they_dont_trust_me_enough_to_leave_me_alone/
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Alright, backstory: last August I spent a week in the teen psych ward cuz my mom found out about my self harm and told my psychiatrist, who then watched me and checked my arms at each visit. At one appointment he randomly decided I'd "gone too far" and he was worried I'd kill myself (either accidentally because I was going "too deep" or purposefully because I was also suicidal) and sent me there. Fun times, right?
SO IT'S PRACTICALLY A YEAR LATER. AN ENTIRE GODDAMN YEAR. And they won't leave me home alone for more than a few hours at a time. Ever. It drives me insane, I'm almost 18 and in a couple months I'll be able to move out and live on my own so??? Do they not see how irrational they are??? Plus if I was gonna cut or kill myself I could totally do it in less than an hour so idk what they think they're preventing
Today is this big family 4th of July picnic thingy out at my aunt and uncle's river house. We're literally supposed to be there from 10am to 8pm. On a remote fucking river in the middle of nowhere. And the only things to do will be eating and swimming (and there is no way in hell I'm wearing a bathing suit in front of anyone ever). I told them upfront that I probably wouldn't go, because my anxiety has been a bitch recently + I just know I'll probably binge and purge uncontrollably the entire time.
Aaaaand now my mom says that if I don't go she won't be able to go either, because she'll need to stay here and make sure I don't kill myself.
WHAT.
I'm such an asshole but I really, really can't go. I'm stressed and miserable and it hurts so much that they still don't trust me.
[Discussion] What do you like to do at the gym?
/u/avocadoshell [5'4" | CW 121 | BMI 20.8| GW 110 |27 F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 05:45:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6l9u/what_do_you_like_to_do_at_the_gym/
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On mobile so no flair
I do yoga every day but when I go to the gym I'm not familiar with all the different machines so I just stick to what I know (elliptical mostly). What do you guys do usually and how many calories do you burn?
[Rant/Rave] DAMN summer and DAMN holidays [rant]
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 161.8 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 109 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 04:56:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l6ea2/damn_summer_and_damn_holidays_rant/
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On mobile, etc.
Hahahahaha sorry I just need to scream and don't have anywhere else to.
As soon as I break a two-week plateau despite staying under 700 that entire time, my dad has his wedding reception FILLED with barbecue and all sorts of food, the next day I get high with friends and have four of those s'mores flavored Girl Scout Cookies (didn't even look at the calories because I don't want to know), randomly wake up in the middle of the night and pig out on leftover meat and desserts from the reception, and now today I get to go to my mom's for a grill-out for the fourth. 🙃🙃🙃🙃
I want to die. I don't think there's a way I can get out of eating at this and I'm horrified. I gained 4 lbs the day after the reception, and haven't weighed myself since because I'm horrified.
I need those fucking pills I ordered from ephedra warehouse to get here NOW.
[Intro] An introduction and welcome back to Ana
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 4 04:15:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l68uj/an_introduction_and_welcome_back_to_ana/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Lowest weight, ever
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 109 | 17.57 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 02:33:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l5vmc/lowest_weight_ever/
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So last week I got sick. Really really sick. I can't remember the last time I felt so miserable. I had to lie in bed from monday until thursday, and I couldn't even keep water in. After those 4 days I stepped on the scale, stupid stupid fucking me. I lost 3.2kg! (~7 pounds) Seriously, I completely forgot about how bad I felt for a moment. I have never had such small legs before! But, of course, as soon as I was able to drink again, and eat again (so fucking hungry after 4 days) it became clear to me that a lot of it was water and I was extremely dehydrated... The scale has stopped creeping up again now, but these past few days were rough. Gained about 1.2 kg back :'(
Still. Although I thought I was going to die, I did not and I lost weight in the journey too. My ribs are clearly visible now. This fucking rollercoaster...
*Ok the title is a bit dramatic haha, I feel dramatic today... But it was my lowest weight since at least 6 years*
I wanted to add, there is not a way that is more efficient to kick bad habits than getting seriously ill. I started smoking again, and now I'm not anymore. I couldn't really function without EC stack anymore, and now my addiction to caffeine is very minimal! I had serious bingeing problems and got really hungry at night, all gone now! I feel like a new, fresh person. (I am trying to look at it from the bright side since my responsibilities have piled up and I am under too much stress right now and I have been crying all morning about how everything is fucked up and how much effort it is going to take to get back in control while everyone else is celebrating summer)
[Rant/Rave] I feel so lost and displaced.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" / i dont know, a lot / too high/ not enough/ nonbinary/ ]
Created: Tue Jul 4 02:22:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l5u8m/i_feel_so_lost_and_displaced/
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On mobile flair as rant rave. This may be a long post but it's been a few days. Humor me and read it and may be just send words or wisdom or encouragement. I am not in a good place.
For those wondering I have been out of the hospital since this past Thursday. My blood level was stable and I was less anemic then when I went in. I got a doctor's note excusing me from work until the 5th of July. So I have been home for the most part.
I hate it. it's killing me.
I have actually been eating. It's been a mix between binging and normal eating. In the hospital i had three sizeable meals each day and some snacks my parents brought which I kind of binged on. I wore basketball shorts and a gown the whole time so I never felt overly bloated.
Now that I am home I feel noticeably bigger. I did laundry before I was in the hospital and tried on a few pairs of pants and jeans and to my surprise and dismay.
They were tight or just didn't fit. I want to think that the dryer may be the culprit. Cheap as levis jeans always shrinking and making me feel insecure.
I purged my wardrobe again tossing out several pairs of pants now that we're too tight.
Being out of the hospital i have been snacking and eating normally or more than normally. I feel stressed because my parents seem stressed. I am on medication that my parents are monitoring me to take. I feel obligated to put on a charade of being "healthy" and so when my parents are home i cook for myself.
I told myself. I needed to eat more to create more red blood cells and heal myself. It got out of hand. It's been stressful. I have anxiety about being out in public and I feel bigger than before and once again so far from my goals.
I spent 60 bucks on groceries the second day i was out of the hospital. I said I would try eating better and it didn't go as planned. I then said when I ran out of what I bought I would fast again.
That didn't really happen either. It's been almost a week of eating every day and I can't imagine the damage I've caused. My goal is now to fast until I take my trip next week which will be 6 or 7 days.
I want to look slim for my SO because I have been pressured into swimming despite me hating water, swimming and bathing suits. Maybe a week of fasting cam get me back on track.
I have been crying more lately.
My mother suggested grocery shopping together earlier today. As if it didn't bug me enough that it wasn't until 7 or 8 at night (I prefer to shop and have dinner before 5 if I eat dinner). I spent a lot on groceries a couple days ago. And have been doing some online retail therapy (buying stuff I don't need) and so i was a little stressed about money seeing as I also didn't work this last week.
I was also thinking of the 80 dollar two way uber I will have to take from Baltimore to DC next week. Money on the mind....sigh.
I made a list with some vegan staples and some healthy type things fooling myself into thinking i could eat normal.
Once at the store I pile in things from my list until we get near the end. Things were ok. I was looking foreword to some of the things. Soy delicious brand vegan snickerdoodle ice cream. Thinking a little bowl here and there would be within reason. Also frozen veggies to make Thai stir fry, and a few other things.
Then it got quiet. "So do you expect me to pay for all of this or are we splitting some of this?!?"
I lost my tongue and my stomach dropped. I shrieked in a mumbled voice, "I can pay for my stuff.." I had never been asked to pay for my own stuff and I had also bought my own groceries by myself for the most part. I guess sometimes I just expected my mom to help me out because I wasn't doing great money wise because I hadn't worked in a week.
Then came the tears. I panicked and put several things back while my mom waited in the check out line and purchased her things. I ended up with a bunch of random items I no longer wanted and stuff my mom had thought I wanted and as a result asked me to pay for.
I fought tears the rest of the trip and in the care ride home then isolated myself on my room for a few hours. This is the point where things change. My family is sick of my shit. I don't take care of myself and when I admit to needing help I seldom get it.
Before I was in the hospital i fought the fainting spells and dizziness and literally dragged myself out of bed to the bathroom falling then getting up and my parents yelled. Their sympathy or empathy was read as rage and anger and disappointment.
At this point I feel the weight of my burden that I am to them. They charge me rent and don't pay for anything. I buy my own groceries and eat only what I buy. They don't do a good job caring and their affection seems patronizing and insincere. They tell me I matter to them but I brush it off.
I guess being more poor and depressed will help me meet my fucked up goals. I can't really think about eating really. I might throw away what I bought when no one is around.
My parents want me to get back on psych meds for my bipolar and depression and I really don't want to. I don't want to be dependant on medication. It's sick but sometimes I'd rather be sad that medicated because I feel more in touch with my thoughts and feelings. To me depression is just seeing the world as it is. Everyone tells me it's wrong and I think anyone who isn't depressed must just have their hear up their ass..not everyone but those who seem naive and happy.
So here I am. Up late again planning my next move fighting tears and not wanting to eat and barring myself from checking my weight for two weeks.
I will leave those who read this far with a poem. Possible trigger warning, ED and S/H content.
Some days I cry from my eyes and I feel weak,
I wish I could cry from my wrist, stomach and thighs where no one could see,
They might call me strong while the blood soaks through my clothes,
The battle being fought constantly and I'm the only one who knows
Slender stranger in the grocery aisle, darkened eyes, pale skin and fading smile, excuse me while I pass, just reaching for the diet coke, our matching aromas; cigarette smoke,
Our eyes meet for a second only for a glance knowing that look of another lost in the trance, dying while trying to live and breaking promises we can't forgive,
To my parents it's not your fault, nor is it mine, it's the product of a dozen things all misaligned.
Everyone is made of glass, fragile figurines, cracked and chipped and broken til we are only smithereens.
Love.
Willow
[Help] Calculating Weight Gain
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Tue Jul 4 01:48:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l5pwz/calculating_weight_gain/
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Scenario: I have a massive binge one day, take laxatives before I go to bed and wake up to weigh myself. If I have not gained any weight after my bowel movement does that mean that I won't gain from that binge or is it still possible for my weight to go up in the following days? I'm on mobile so sorry if there are any errors, this is just something that has really been bugging me. Thank you so much!
[Rant/Rave] I've never given birth but I'm pretty sure it feels like running.
/u/almightylurker [5'1" | 145 | 27.4 | -70 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 00:52:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l5i0e/ive_never_given_birth_but_im_pretty_sure_it_feels/
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I'm starting C25K and I just finished my first run. During, I've never felt so much pain and felt like quitting 100 times. But after- holy shit you guys, I feel incredible. Like I know it hurt but for the life of me I can't even remember the pain. I now understand runner's high and why people put themselves through this torture.
I wasn't able to run as long as the C25K app told me to during each interval but I'm not going to dwell on it. This was my first time running. I'm fat and incredibly out of shape. But that won't be the case soon. I never thought I would be saying this but I can't wait until my next run. I've been the same weight for months and over a couple days last week, for no good reason, 5 pounds just fell off. I've been meaning to start running but that gave me the last bit of motivation I'd been missing and I'm fuckin ready. I will be my goal weight by the end of this year.
[Help] Going for physical checkup
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 00:50:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l5ho6/going_for_physical_checkup/
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So I'm going to get a physical checkup at my doctor's office soon, and my mom and I are both worried about hospitalization. The past few times I've gone, my doctors have recommended me to go to the hospital for inpatient (which actually happened once to me). I don't know what to do this time around because I've lost weight as well eep :o I'm eating around 500-600 calories rn.
What sorts of things should I do? It's really important that I "pass" the checkup without any low blood pressure/heart rate.
Edit: the obvious answer is to eat more—I'm already planning on increasing my intake gradually. I feel like I was definitely losing on 500-600! However I'm extremely worried I'll gain weight :C To me that would be like "undoing everything." >___<
[Discussion] Safe food recommendations?
/u/flightlesspotato [166cm | CW 57.7kg | UGW 48kg | 20F]
Created: Tue Jul 4 00:17:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l5d0x/safe_food_recommendations/
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I've lived in Southeast Asia all my life, and I might be moving to USA next year for university. I know it's still a long time away but the idea of not knowing what's okay to eat when I get there is terrifying.
I know for a fact that my current safe foods (which are all Asian brands) would probably cost a whole lot more when I'm there, so could you guys recommend me affordable local foods that aren't high in calories?
Also, more of a side note here but how common is rice in supermarkets?
[Help] how to stop bingeing
/u/dont_fee_lfull [5"5' | 152lbs | fat cow | -40lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 3 23:47:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l58jm/how_to_stop_bingeing/
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i've been eating everything in sight for the past 3 days, my mind is constantly on food and eating. i feel so puffy in my stomach and in my face and just in general. i weighed myself this evening (after eating a fuck load to remind myself how disgusting i am) and i went up to 162. last week i was at 152. i feel like garbage
[Humor] Never trust a fart...
/u/Runrabbitrunrunrun
Created: Mon Jul 3 23:42:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l57uu/never_trust_a_fart/
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When you purge via lax abuse. That is all.
[Rant/Rave] Feel like my friends/bf are sabotaging me. Wish I could put my social life on hold until I'm at my UGW.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 23:04:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l51us/feel_like_my_friendsbf_are_sabotaging_me_wish_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Lifes little ironies
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Mon Jul 3 23:01:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l51gr/lifes_little_ironies/
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Eat too much > Want to lose weight > Start smoking fags to supress appitite > Smoke too much > Want to quit >Smoke weed to distract from nicotine cravings > Get munchies and eat too much
christ the effort we go through just to have more space between our legs
[Help] [Help] Looking for advice for a lazy chef
/u/loseitjen
Created: Mon Jul 3 22:26:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4vvs/help_looking_for_advice_for_a_lazy_chef/
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So basically what's killing me is how often I eat fast food. It's just so much more convenient for me to eat on my way to work for the day/at work (mall food court). But I also rarely go grocery shopping (again, lazy) so even on my off days I never have food at home to cook and end up eating fast food. So basically I'm looking for two things:
1. advice on motivating myself to actually get my ass to the grocery store
2. any quick and easy meals you can throw together that are (obviously) low cal but filling
I know this is probably impossible lol but any advice helps!
Edit: also I've been reading many of the threads already posting grocery lists/recipes and am just looking for any additional information :)
[Discussion] Goal journals like "the happiness planner"
/u/tootiredrn [5'4" | CW 162.2 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 22:20:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4usg/goal_journals_like_the_happiness_planner/
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I just discovered these when browsing anthro and am considering buying one as a journal to help my ednos that has been in binge mode for 6mo take a turn for the ana side I sometimes have. Has anyone else used one of these goal type journals for weight loss and has it really helped? Logging in mfp just doesn't seem to have an effect on me anymore.
I'm so fucking done(Day 1)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 22:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4t87/im_so_fucking_doneday_1/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Need tips!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 22:09:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4t2j/need_tips/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Queen Bitch
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:62kg | 19 | GW:53kg | M]
Created: Mon Jul 3 21:51:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4q1z/queen_bitch/
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Went for a job training thing, had to sit in a group, doing team activities and such.
It was boring, I snuck out at lunch for some vodka. (We're sat at a big table facing each other. The girls in front of me can't smell my breath, and the guy beside me is a friend who knows about my alcoholism, no problem.)
Big bowl of candy on the table. The girls kept picking at it. A quick Google showed that each piece had 50 calories.
They kept taking them. All day. Must have had 15 pieces. I'd been living on tea, vodka, and Camel cigarettes for about 4 days. I fought myself to maintain that, and I did. Kind of proud of myself.
So the training is over, the trainer hands out chocolate bars that everyone keeps grabbing at. I was standing up when this bitch of a person threw a chocolate bar at me and said, "Eat this, it'll help you lose weight."
Then she giggled with her friend!
Gah, GAH!
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] No, it's not okay for you to joke about eating with me. I'm sorry, but it's not.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 21:20:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4kvp/rant_no_its_not_okay_for_you_to_joke_about_eating/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Hi everyone
/u/dobelieveinbear [5'3 | 103 | 18.2 | GW: 90ish | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 21:11:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4jek/hi_everyone/
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I've been lurking for a little while, but decided that today would be a good day to introduce myself.
I've had eating issues for about three years, and I've been in and out of treatment a few times. Almost a year ago I was discharged from the State Hospital, so there's that.
I'm glad that I was able to find this subreddit. It'll be nice to be able to talk to people who won't say things like "You need to feed your furnace," and "Wow, you're fucked up."
Cheers!
[Discussion] Experiences with Wellbutrin?
/u/tuesdayschildis [5'7|132 lb|20.6|GW:125]
Created: Mon Jul 3 21:08:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4j1h/experiences_with_wellbutrin/
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So I need to go on an antidepressant for a multitude of issues and I am afraid because I've read that so many of them cause weight gain(probably because of increased appetite but still). I read that Wellbutrin actually suppresses appetite if anything. Does anyone have experiences with it? Did it help you lose?
[Rant/Rave] hey if y'all wanna vent or need advice you can message me
/u/fuck_you_get_pumped
Created: Mon Jul 3 21:00:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4hln/hey_if_yall_wanna_vent_or_need_advice_you_can/
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i'm not gonna pretend like i'm 100% sane, but i've had quite a few years' experience with s/h, ed, abuse, depression/bipolar and anxiety. and i've experienced a lot of hospitalizations, therapy, and read a lot of self-help books so i have a bit of advice which may help...
i have some ideas which might help you and i just want you to feel better, ok?
[Help] Bulimia question
/u/ashirun97
Created: Mon Jul 3 20:50:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4fww/bulimia_question/
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Does anyone else get really bloated and puffy after they purge? Not jut my face, my stomach is sooo bloated right now. I'm rehydrating as I type this but want to know if it's normal or not.
[Rant/Rave] getting a rep as a diet soda addict
/u/gobtastic [5'7" | CW: 122 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 20:21:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l4axg/getting_a_rep_as_a_diet_soda_addict/
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so I'm in china interning for a month (I normally live in the UK so the safe food withdrawal has been REAL), and I'm staying with my dad. there are no weighing scales at his place, and while he said he was happy to get some when I first asked, I haven't bothered to push it because I feel so free without them!
I thought it would be impossible to get by not weighing in every day. but thinking about it, weighing in regularly back home and seeing small gains from water and food weight is what triggered the binges that kept me from losing weight a few weeks ago! now that I can just trust the science of eating <500 a day (in fruit and veg, which is also a change for me), I don't need to binge. and there was one day when I got a little bingey and ate up to my TDEE, but I could get back on track the next day because I didn't see my weight go up.
I have a kiwi for breakfast since my dad doesn't like me skipping it (<50 cals), spend my work day drinking tons of water and diet soda (seriously, I have 3 cans of Sprite Zero and 2 bottles of Coke Zero in my bag every day just in case I need them all), and then have a small portion of veg with my dad and his wife at dinner (<200 max). I just feel like I've gotten into a great pattern, guys. binging has never felt easier to avoid.
1.5 weeks down, 2.5 to go. I arrived here at about 54/55 kg, and my inner optimist hopes to next weigh in near 50 kg!!!
what do you guys prefer? regular weigh-ins or nah?
Could we make some sort of chat group where we can talk regularly?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Jul 3 19:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l426n/could_we_make_some_sort_of_chat_group_where_we/
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[removed]
[Discussion] [Discussion] Experiences with Orlistat/Alli?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 19:17:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l401t/discussion_experiences_with_orlistatalli/
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It's an OTC weight loss drug that used to be prescription-only. I'm interested in hearing other people's interactions with it, if it worked for you or not, if you like it, use it, etc.
Also, does anyone know if it works if you take it as-needed as opposed to with every meal? I can't tell from the information online.
[Rant/Rave] Guys, I think I found it.
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Mon Jul 3 17:57:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l3lx4/guys_i_think_i_found_it/
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So I decided since tomorrow was a national day off, I decided to celebrate by vaping the shit out of my MFLB and some dank weed and also enjoying me some danker memes while I was at it.
I also found out that I can binge on 4-5 packs of seasoned seaweed crisps and omfg I only gained a total of 120 calories tops. And because I only had like Coke Zero to go with it and not much breakfast I'm still ~~happy dancing~~ (I meant to write "under my total goal for today" but my brain also translated this to happy dancing so I guess that works)!
Maybe I'm just preaching to the choir, but, this is totally my safe food for the rest of time.
What else do you guys eat that are helpful as a binge food and low in calories?
[Tip] beets: candy from the ground???
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-n/a (yet) // bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Mon Jul 3 17:53:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l3l6b/beets_candy_from_the_ground/
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okay i love beets like. i just ate a huge chunk raw and it tasted like what i crave when i think of candy. and its like 37 calories for half a cup which is a lot
but my mom tried a bite and said they taste like dirt tho so ymmv
[Discussion] Vegans: what do you eat?
/u/blondecurlyhair [5'3.5" | CW: 133 | 23.7 | -64lbs | 22F 🌷]
Created: Mon Jul 3 17:50:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l3kol/vegans_what_do_you_eat/
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Hey guys!
I've been strongly considering going vegan, I am just getting more and more put off by eating our farm friends, but I'm a bit concerned just because I'm already difficult due to the ED, I don't want to become impossible.
Can I get some examples of what you guys eat while vegan?
🌻
[Help] Ending Fast
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 150 | 24.2| -35| F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 17:48:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l3k92/ending_fast/
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I know there have been tons of posts along these lines but i couldn't find recent ones and I'm just recently back here! I am end a 48 hour fast tonight. I have to eat dinner with my boyfriend or he will be really concerned and i will never hear the end of it and it will just be bad. I am terrified of binging when i end my fast. The last time i ended a 48 hour fast i ate EVERYTHING after. Any advice would be appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend called me a pig today :)
/u/nottheexpert836
Created: Mon Jul 3 17:32:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l3hcf/boyfriend_called_me_a_pig_today/
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He said he just meant I was messy, but I mean...I had my hand in a bag of chips when he said it, shoving my face. He knows about my ED, so as much as he says he doesn't mean it I can't help but think that he means it. Why else would you tell your ED girlfriend that she's a pig? I deserved it anyways, looks like my fast is starting early this week...
[Rant/Rave] Shoutout to OtterPops and Firecracker pops
/u/justanotherbrunette [5'7" | CW 133 | GW 130 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 17:26:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l3g4d/shoutout_to_otterpops_and_firecracker_pops/
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To OtterPops For being 15 calories each... or 90 calories for 6, as the box insists is the intended serving size.
To Firecrackers for being 35 calories each.
[Other] Facebook group created! Read details below.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 17:23:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l3fl5/facebook_group_created_read_details_below/
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[deleted]
[Other] Today's grocery haul! I know it's a lot but it is gonna last me two weeks or maybe even 2,5. Details in the comments!
/u/fluobun [185cm|88.6kg|25.89|HW:95kg|F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 16:30:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l35q6/todays_grocery_haul_i_know_its_a_lot_but_it_is/
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https://i.redd.it/zw3z8xd0fg7z.jpg
[Discussion] Let's talk about E/C stacks, stimulants, and other appetite suppressants
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [5'7 | CW 134 1GW 130 2GW 125 UGW 122 | 🍑 is same as here |]
Created: Mon Jul 3 16:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l33ht/lets_talk_about_ec_stacks_stimulants_and_other/
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Came across Bronkaid in my medicine cabinet at home, have read interesting information in this sub about using it to suppress appetite. Did a little bit more research within the body building community and have found that a lot of the side affects of mixing caffeine and ephedrine are similar to that of other stimulants (stress on the heart). Took a 25 mg with a cup of coffee earlier today (about 5 hours ago) and felt great, just took another and I'm finishing up my coffee as I type. THIS IS THE BEST??? Why isn't this wider spread knowledge?
The "high" feels a lot like a key bump of coke, lol. Probably also comparable to addy or vyvanse but I've never tried those (total druggy move: skip the study drugs and go straight to cocaine lmao!! i do not advise this!!!). I FEEL GREAT I GOTTA GO FAST I HAVENT EATEN SINCE BREAKFAST (200 cal) AND I'M NOT HUNGRY THIS IS THE BEST
[Help] Can I have some unrelated-to-EDs advice about my work load this week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 15:55:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2yiy/can_i_have_some_unrelatedtoeds_advice_about_my/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Has anyone tried this blueberry slim life tea? Going to give it a try today!
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Mon Jul 3 15:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2wrh/has_anyone_tried_this_blueberry_slim_life_tea/
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http://i.imgur.com/XqJ1Dfh.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone drinking ginger tea? It helps?
/u/DaisyCollector
Created: Mon Jul 3 15:40:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2vcw/anyone_drinking_ginger_tea_it_helps/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2vcw/anyone_drinking_ginger_tea_it_helps/
[Discussion] What do you do to keep yourself busy?
/u/Please445leave
Created: Mon Jul 3 15:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2szo/what_do_you_do_to_keep_yourself_busy/
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I am on holiday so have too much free time atm. I can't go to parks etc which would've been perfect. Malls and shops are a possibility but I have no money and no idea what to do there. I prefer being outside the house.
What do you keep yourself busy with to stay out of the kitchen?
[Rant/Rave] well i learned the hard way that i canNOT fast for more than 24 hours...
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | CW: disgusting | BMI: 23.1 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 15:23:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2rox/well_i_learned_the_hard_way_that_i_cannot_fast/
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i normally don't fast entirely for more than an day. i should've known better because i'm already prone to fainting regardless, but the heart wants what the heart wants....
so anyway, i'm walking to the bus stop and i feel faint. i don't have a working phone. none of the people at the bus stop have a working phone. so we have to wait for the bus to arrive and ask the bus driver to call 911 who then had to ask the bus station who then FINALLY called 911. i said no ambulance, but the ambulance arrived anyway! this was all very public. any of my friends could've driven past and seen me at any moment. and it's not that i was afraid of the EMTs finding out or some random ER doctors knowing, but the ambulance fee is literally $600. the ER fee for the insurance my college forced me to buy is $100 per visit. i don't have that kind of money! thankfully the cops were able to give me a ride home though, but geez. all i wanted was to get some coffee and try some cashew milk.
OH! and i broke my fast with oatmeal. accidentally grabbed the surprise packet with the dino eggs. i was saving it and didn't realize until i poured the water in. i want my dino eggs back! I WANT MY DINO EGGS!!!! :'(
[Other] proed grocery haul off brand at aldi edition!
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 105| 17.5 | gw 104 | ugw 98]
Created: Mon Jul 3 15:19:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2qut/proed_grocery_haul_off_brand_at_aldi_edition/
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https://i.redd.it/wzfc71h92g7z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] It's been a while
/u/hheavyhearted [5'6 | 138lbs | 22.36 | GW115 | nb]
Created: Mon Jul 3 14:46:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2jqv/its_been_a_while/
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and i'm doing okay. i'm currently eating anything and everything i want while i study abroad. i have 0 access to a scale but i'm guessing i'm around 135 now...
and then i'm not doing alright anymore. i go home in a week (after a full month of luxury meals) and i know i'll slip back into my ed at full force. weighing myself is what sets me off but i can't help but do it. i want to enjoy living like this, i feel so free right now, but i know it won't last. i'm just at square one all over again. i'm fucking fat again and i'm pretending i don't notice. i don't want reality to hit me ):
[Rant/Rave] My mom took a picture of me in a swimsuit and I am traumatized
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 14:42:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2ivk/my_mom_took_a_picture_of_me_in_a_swimsuit_and_i/
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[deleted]
[Help] how to avoid overeating at theme parks?
/u/Bulbaroar
Created: Mon Jul 3 14:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l2bpa/how_to_avoid_overeating_at_theme_parks/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Food rules/compulsions?
/u/library-cat [5'6"| 137 | 22.2 | GW??? | 21F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 13:55:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l28jw/food_rulescompulsions/
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It feels weird to talk about this, but I need to get it off my chest and i'm kind of curious to see if anyone else has a similar problem.
For the past year or so I feel like I've been developing more and more food rules. Right now, my rules all revolve around color. My daily intake needs to be as colorful as possible - green, red, and orange are the bare minimum that need to be accounted for. It sounds great at first, because it means I end up eating a lot of fresh fruits and veggies. But it's not even like....logical. In my mind, eating rainbow sherbet is better than eating a turkey sandwich because the sherbet is more colorful, even though the turkey sandwich has waaaaaay more nutritional value. Chocolate ice cream isn't safe to eat, but because strawberry is pink it's okay. Normal wheat bread doesn't seem safe, but marble rye does. If I'm drinking alcohol I'd rather drink something red than, say, a beer. If I don't have a "colorful" food day then it makes me really anxious. It seems like my color obsession is starting to take precedence over calories consumed, bc I'd rather have a 1200 calorie "colorful" day than a 600 calorie day where I mostly ate tan or brown foods.
yikes!!! I'm sure this makes me sound like a total freako but it's been on my mind a lot lately. Do any of you guys have illogical food rules? I brought this up with my therapist once months ago and she never really addressed it so I was too embarrassed to mention it again tbh
[Discussion] New VS Old BMI
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 13:18:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l20hz/new_vs_old_bmi/
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[deleted]
[Other] [pictures] I know I've lost a little bit, but I still feel massive. I guess I just need a little love.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 13:07:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1xsm/pictures_i_know_ive_lost_a_little_bit_but_i_still/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] I'm so close to being at a weight I'm happy with, but I don't know how I should get there
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | CW: 120 | GW: 118 | F ]
Created: Mon Jul 3 13:04:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1x6v/im_so_close_to_being_at_a_weight_im_happy_with/
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I've been eating Keto the past few days and I'm pretty sure I'll be in ketosis tomorrow.
I can't decide if I should eat 200-300 calories the next few days and achieve the weight I want by the end of this week, or stick to 600-900 calories a day so it's less likely I risk breaking and binging.
I just got out of a binge cycle and am disgusted by food and myself so I think I can do the 400 calories. But what if I can't and ruin my progress?
I'm new here and just thinking out loud. This place is so nice. Does anyone else do Keto and if so, what's your strategy with it? Sometimes I eat higher calorie but zero carb/sugar. Sometimes I eat lower calorie/healthier foods that have some carbs/sugar but I eat little enough to stay in ketosis.
[Rant/Rave] So I guess I'm going to be one of the fairies at my local renaissance fair this year.
/u/attenuatingpixie [5'7 | CW 125 | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 12:57:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1vmp/so_i_guess_im_going_to_be_one_of_the_fairies_at/
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And my first thought was "Wonderful, this is just the push I needed to get back on track with reaching my UGW 👌🏻"
(Obligatory "on mobile, please flair how you see fit")
[Rant/Rave] Binge blowout...
/u/Shawnanan
Created: Mon Jul 3 12:29:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1p41/binge_blowout/
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Sooo I was doing so well for the last 3 weeks. But Saturday night I had a few drinks and went off the rails. I ended up eating about 1,500-1,700. Not terrible.
But the worst was yet to come.
Yesterday I woke up hungover and my step dad took me out for chicken wing s... my binge food.
So what do I do? I eat about 16 wings and keep eating and eating until I had eaten around what I assume to be 3,000-4,000 calories. 😩
I'm terrified to step on the scale. I feel like fasting forever is my only hope to mitigate all this damage.
Oh and on top of this, four of my friends died Saturday night in a car crash and all of this combined is sending me over the edge.
I just want things to be ok. 😞
[Rant/Rave] It's been one of those days where I need to make multiple visits to the gym
/u/sibr
Created: Mon Jul 3 12:24:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1nyz/its_been_one_of_those_days_where_i_need_to_make/
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I burned about 400ish calories in the gym this morning which I'd usually be happy with seeing as I stick to around 300-500 calories in food per day. Then my pre-period hormones kicked in and I binged on probably over 1000 calories (and that's before the family dinner that's about to be made) sooooo guess I'm heading back to the treadmills lol
Why do I have to be this way
[Rant/Rave] I've gained over 4 pounds
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 12:13:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1lf1/ive_gained_over_4_pounds/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Can't stop. Won't stop.
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Mon Jul 3 12:12:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1l7s/cant_stop_wont_stop/
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So my fiance finally said how he can't wait til I get my dress altered so I'll "stop stressing about eating" I get I have been a lot more anxious about food than I am normally, but that's the thing. Once I'm 99 lbs I won't want to just get fat again. I've never felt so beautiful and skinny before and I can't just relax and get fat again. He wanted a skinny girl well he's gonna get one. I don't want to stop. I never will stop.
[Rant/Rave] Day one of my protein fast. Posting because I'm already feeling anxious
/u/Profeshed
Created: Mon Jul 3 12:10:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1kti/day_one_of_my_protein_fast_posting_because_im/
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Backstory: I've had a two week binge, and I've come out of it with squishy love handles and a fat chin and feeling gross. I probably gained about 4 lb of actual fat because right now my scale is reading 10lb higher than I was 2.5 weeks ago. I went from my lowest weight in 10+ years (129.8 or something like that) to my brightest in months (with clothes though, but he scale said 143.3)
So I need to fix this. I need to cut food cold turkey because I'm straight up addicted to food right now. I'm eating what I don't need and it's not even enjoyable.
I'm starting a protein fast. If anyone is curious, it's called "The Perfect Fat Burn Diet" which is a modified water fast where you get just enough protein to spare your muscle mass.
I think it's ok to share this because it's supposed to be a safe way (preserving muscle mass) to fast, safer than restricting and arguably even regular calorie restricting diets for long periods of time (which again, dearly muscle mass and crash your metabolism).
I know a lot of you here fast and restrict, so hopefully by mentioning this I can at least share with some of you who may not know why it's important to make sure you're at least eating protein.
So anyway, I'm starting today. And I'm fucking scared. I've done fasts before but it hard because I realize how food numbs me. It's scary to let go of my crutch.
I'm sipping a plain coffee from the airport. I stared at a box of blueberry muffins and coffee cake and almost convinced myself I could stuff my face one last time and start tomorrow, but I didn't.
Any time I have a craving I'm going to write it down on a list of things I want to eat when I'm done--but I want be able to incorporate these in a healthy style of eating after.
I want to cure my binge cycles. I want to just eat normal meals and stop when I'm full. Not be addicted to the next bite.
I want to post everyday and just keep writing when I feel anxious. I know I can do this, and I know I'll feel good--I've done short fasts, even did the protein sparing modified fast before (which is similar to this but I ate more) and I felt amazing aside from the occasional cravings and anxiety (which I'll have even if I'm not restricting at all).
I have a goal ahead of me: I want to reach my fitness goal and recover, eat whatever I want but in healthy quantities (and I like healthy food so it would be balanced, like I want to have oatmeal or eggs for most breakfasts, but sometimes have a muffin or 3/8 of a stack of pancakes instead at a restaurant, not the whole thing)
This coffee sucks. It's just plain hazelnut roast coffee and I hate it without the milk, but so far I'm doing ok
EDIT:
Doing ok so far!! Did a bit of reading from the book I mentioned earlier, and learned to focus on my accomplishments instead of my goals, so here I go:
I already have lost like 30lb (ughhhhh 😖😖😖😖😖)
I only had coffee this morning
The airplane pretzels didn't trigger any cravings and I just put them in my bag
Hilariously, this book literally has a piece on why chewing/spitting is ok. That made me silently laugh so hard (I was reading on the plane), I don't know when I've ever done that but I might actually try it, that seems better than binging and it's just to get me through this week.
Are we still posting our grocery hauls?
/u/dietchardonnay
Created: Mon Jul 3 11:25:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1ab7/are_we_still_posting_our_grocery_hauls/
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https://i.redd.it/jwk9ey6iwe7z.jpg
[Humor] I LOVE waffles, but as far as all of my friends know, I hate them.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Mon Jul 3 11:03:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l1574/i_love_waffles_but_as_far_as_all_of_my_friends/
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At one point I had the "brilliant" idea to spread the rumor to all of my friends and family that I absolutely hate all of my favorite binge foods for each meal so now I can never eat them in front of absolutely anyone. 95% of the time it prevents me from killing a plate of waffles or spaghetti whenever we go out, but god damn it sometimes I want to treat myself and think I deserve it but if I touch it everyone freaks out that I'm eating my least favorite foods and then I get insecure and can't.
[Discussion] Tattoos and weight loss?
/u/stupidthrowawayyy8
Created: Mon Jul 3 11:02:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l156s/tattoos_and_weight_loss/
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How have everyone here's tattoos held up after weight loss? (Pictures would be much appreciated!)
I want a simple-ish tattoo on the inside of my forearm, but I'm not sure whether to get it now or wait. I've been in recovery for 18 months but struggled with severe anorexia for half my life, so losing weight in the future is quite probable, although I don't want to relapse and be critically ill again. (For reference, I'm 5'8/145lb now and I'd probably lose down to somewhere between 105-125)
Do you think this much weight loss would distort the tattoo in the future if I got it now, like narrow it down noticeably? I'm just worried that if I tell myself "I'll get it once I lose weight," then it might never happen since I have a big fear of full-on relapsing that often prevents me from steadily losing weight. :/
[Discussion] Does anyone else's brain see no difference between weight gain and the fact that a bottle of water momentarily adds weight to your body.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Mon Jul 3 10:53:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l132v/does_anyone_elses_brain_see_no_difference_between/
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I realize that fat does not equal weight, but I can't help but absolutely panic every time. Like for example, I can weigh myself, eat a 250 calorie salad and then chug a bottle of water and that's it for the day. If I were to weigh myself right after, the gain would absolutely devastate me. Obviously a bottle of water and food has weight to it, so naturally I'll be "heavier" even though it's a deficit and I'm losing weight via less calories.
Gained weight after restricting with heavy excercise?
/u/That_feal
Created: Mon Jul 3 10:41:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l10cr/gained_weight_after_restricting_with_heavy/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] So I binged during a fast and took ten laxatives and went through the most painful experience of my life
/u/skinnysoleil [5'4 | SW: 165 | CW: 152 | GW: 99 by 2018]
Created: Mon Jul 3 10:27:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l0x4d/so_i_binged_during_a_fast_and_took_ten_laxatives/
---
Imagine your stomach literally being cut open and a constant urge to diarrhea even though your butthole is rubbed raw while extreme nausea forces you to keep throwing up. For five hours.
I decided I'm just going back to low calorie restricting after this. Fuck this. God.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have moments of clarity?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Mon Jul 3 10:22:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l0wal/does_anyone_else_have_moments_of_clarity/
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What I mean is, today I was carrying stuff inside from my car and I looked at myself in my car window wearing a light blue camisole and black leggings and I noticed the curve in my waist and I was like "Holy shit, I look really good right now. why haven't I eaten all day??? I'm starving!"
Then I went back inside and my mind was just back to "Oh my god I am so fat I can't eat anything for the next week to drop these pounds before college".
Like I really just don't understand my mind. Logically, I know I am nowhere near fat and that my body is perfectly fine. So WHY then do I keep obsessing over calories and food and every little thing? I don't get it.
[Discussion] Distraction post: What are you watching?
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Mon Jul 3 10:15:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l0unh/distraction_post_what_are_you_watching/
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I often find myself hiding in my room with the door closed to stay as far away from the kitchen as possible and just curious what you fine folk are watching right now. Do you use it as a distraction? Inspiration? Etc. If there's a group of likeminded folks that won't lead me astray in their recommendations I definitely feel it's this group.
[Rant/Rave] I see on Facebook that people I used to be friends with have careers, kids and houses and spouses. I don't have any of those, so I comfort myself with the fact that all of them have gained so much weight.
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |50 kg | 18,4 | 8 kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 10:03:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l0rqx/i_see_on_facebook_that_people_i_used_to_be/
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I'm 30, but I have nothing to show for it. I have achieved pretty much nothing. And all the people I know, or more like Used to know, have achieved a lot. Only thing that I can comfort myself is that they have gained 10-50 lbs since their twenties, and I have not. It's pretty sad, isn't it, that I think when seeing wedding photos of my old friend that "wow, she's so much bigger than when we last met".
And this kind of stuff makes me want to lose more weight. If my weight is the only thing I can show for myself, shouldn't I be way skinnier than on the border of underweight? Like, I should have a BMI of 16 once again to actually feel my weight is enough for a reason to be the way I am.
edit: oh wow, thank you so much for the support! I'll do my best to reply to all of you, but I really appreciate this anyway!
[Help] Bf already seemed concerned about how fast i lost weight....
/u/sp_600 [5'7 | 116 lbs | bmi 18.2 | 20yr female]
Created: Mon Jul 3 10:01:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l0rhv/bf_already_seemed_concerned_about_how_fast_i_lost/
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That was twoish weeks ago. Now i am like 5 lbs lighter. Omg what am i going to do when i see him in a few days. Help.
[Help] Back to Residential - Castlewood Experiences?
/u/TreatmentTime
Created: Mon Jul 3 09:45:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l0nlk/back_to_residential_castlewood_experiences/
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I lost ten pounds while in PHP and my treatment team is recommending I return to res. The goal is that I work on some of the root causes of my eating disorder (and treat some trauma at the same time). Since I have already been to all of the IP/res options in-state, they are pushing me hard to try Castlewood's CA location, but I'm reticent to travel for treatment.
I've read every MPA thread and tumblr post I could find on the topic, spoken with people I've been in treatment with, and still can't make up my mind; I turn to you, /r/proED, for help.
If you've been to Castlewood, either in CA or MO, would you recommend it? Not send your worst enemy there? Something in between?
[Rant/Rave] Disgusting failure
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 09:28:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l0jth/disgusting_failure/
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[deleted]
[Tip] My personal tips to help you with your constipation
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 08:14:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6l04lm/my_personal_tips_to_help_you_with_your/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Restricting is a lose-lose situation for me
/u/coffeecoffeecoffee90 [5'5" | CW: ??? | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 07:26:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzvj4/restricting_is_a_loselose_situation_for_me/
---
So I actually don't post here often but I do read all of your posts when I have the time <3 I started a new job about a month ago and I don't have a ton of free time anymore like I used to. I'm still trying to figure out a sweet spot for restricting and not letting it get in the way of my job performance since I have to be mentally there and not in a restricting fog.
I'm also training for a 10k in 3 weeks and I'm frustrated that I can't let myself eat more for that. I ran my fastest when I was eating at maintenance but I just don't think that's in the cards for me right now.
I ate and drank way too much this weekend and I'm just feeling down about being back at work and how often social obligations come up. I get frustrated with how I can't control myself around food once I start drinking, but if I get anxious then I get frustrated that I'm letting my ED get in the way of enjoying myself.
Does anyone else feel like a failure for eating and a failure for not eating? Like not only do I do this to myself because I hate myself but I'm not even taking the steps to try and schedule a therapy appointment or anything else more helpful than obsessing about food. Yet eating anything at all gives me so much guilt.
[Rant/Rave] So I had some blood tests done and the results were pretty good
/u/COOKIE_PRINCESS [4'10" | 🍪 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 07:19:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzu8o/so_i_had_some_blood_tests_done_and_the_results/
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So now I feel totally invalidated and there's a large part of me that wants to stop taking vitamins and stop trying to take care of myself :)
I don't know what I'm going to yet do but why can't I just be happy that I had some good results..
[Discussion] How do you get out of a binge decision?
/u/annabear [5'7"|260lbs|BMI40|-0|F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 07:14:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzt9x/how_do_you_get_out_of_a_binge_decision/
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Once I decide to binge, it's SO HARD to get myself out of that mindset. I have to literally yell at myself to the point of almost giving myself panic attacks. I'm always glad if I manage to get out, but it's awful. How do you guys stop yourself from binging when that urge hits?
Weekly Stats Update! July 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 3 06:15:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzjc3/weekly_stats_update_july_03_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 03, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! July 03, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 3 06:15:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzjbh/daily_food_diary_july_03_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 03, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Humor] Hi, I'm rot_from_view, and I have a food-hoarding problem.
/u/rot_from_view [5'4" | CW: Sugar & Self-loathing | 24F 🌼]
Created: Mon Jul 3 06:13:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzj3d/hi_im_rot_from_view_and_i_have_a_foodhoarding/
---
https://i.redd.it/zuh57yuucd7z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm so fucking done.
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Mon Jul 3 05:51:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzfpn/im_so_fucking_done/
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I hate this binge cycle. I hate it. I'm so fucking tired. I woke up at 3 AM this morning and started sneaking in ice cream. I could've slept. I definitely needed sleep, because I've hardly slept all week and I can barely stand up straight. But no, binge eating is much more important.
I just can't do well. I've gained four lbs and it doesn't show any sign of slowing or stopping.
I don't want this to be my life; I don't want this to be tomorrow and I certainly don't want this to be any more fucking days. I keep expecting this to be easy, but I need to understand that it's not gonna be.
I do not need to 'indulge' myself. I am an all—or—nothing person and I know this from experience.
I need to fucking sleep. It doesn't matter if I don't want to, I need to. And I need to stop eating, because it is destroying my mental health, my behavior and my body. It doesn't have shit to do with weight, it's about the fact, that I'm wasting my life and I'm hurting myself with food.
So this is the last day. This is the last fucking day. I'm going to buy a lot of diet sodas and sugarfree stuff and if I get the urge, I'll keep it in my closet. I just need to stop binging at all costs.
Who's with me? Let's do rest of this week binge—free, yeah?
Flair: rant/rave
[Intro] New account, same old behaviors
/u/Fornicorn
Created: Mon Jul 3 05:21:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kzbc6/new_account_same_old_behaviors/
---
I was active on here a while ago under a different account but a coworker found it so I deleted it before anything came of it.
I'm 5'5", yesterday the scale said 102.8 but this morning it said 104.4 so I'm somewhere around there. I am not formally diagnosed but I have some form of EDNOS/OFSED, I binge/purge a lot and most of my behaviors are dictated by some form of a release (like the release of vomiting, the exhaustion after exercise purging, the head high from fasting) but also go through restricting phases.
I think my goal weight is somewhere around 90 but I don't know if I'll ever feel like I am done losing weight.
My lowest weight was 98 about a year ago, I have been dancing from 103-109 for the last year but my highest weight was 150 back in winter 2014, which is what triggered my ED. I am a recovered self harmer, though I think purging just took its place.
Nice to meet you all again :)
[Rant/Rave] Unrelated to ED but I like you guys more than regular people
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 3 03:27:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kywcs/unrelated_to_ed_but_i_like_you_guys_more_than/
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[deleted]
[Help] how to avoid overeating at theme parks?
/u/Bulbaroar
Created: Mon Jul 3 02:46:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kyr5y/how_to_avoid_overeating_at_theme_parks/
---
[removed]
[Other] Gotta deadline, I can do this.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 57.3 | 19.21/18.99 | GW: < 57 by 4/9 | UGW: 55 by | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 02:35:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kypu7/gotta_deadline_i_can_do_this/
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I'm currently finishing up my Master's thesis and I'm handing-in in 1 month and 1 week. My defense is the month after that, so 9 weeks. It's totally possible to be at my goal weight by then (or under it), especially since my starting weight is skewed right now by food/water weight (62 kill me). I' going to kill it at my defense, with my sleek black dress that's both sexy and professional. It's tight right now, and I want it to be loss.
Best part is that it's not suspicious if I spend the night away from home writing (so I can skip dinner) and down Monster ultras and cigarettes like I'm trying to kill myself (lol).
No more weekend eating, just my normal fasting until dinner until September. 57 here I come. Just gotta stay strong.
[Rant/Rave] My family complimented me this whole weekend on how great I looked and lost so much weight
/u/Profeshed
Created: Mon Jul 3 02:29:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kyp1v/my_family_complimented_me_this_whole_weekend_on/
---
I used to be fatter, like 20lb heavier. So this weekend I saw lots of my extended family whom I haven't seen in about 2-2+ years. So many comments of "ohhhmygod you look so great! We've all been talking, how did you do it?"
So naturally, I proceed to lie to everyone. I tell them that I did what a healthy person should do (since clearly they were somewhat asking for advice*)
Lie: Oh thank you!!
Truth: Fuck please stop telling me this. It just reminds me of how far I used to be and how fat I still feel.
Lie: I basically just calorie counted and only focused on eating enough protein
Truth: I succeeded at this maybe for a few weeks total. Most of the time I was either cycling between binging and crash dieting to make up for all the shit I ate.
Speaking of which, I proceeded to spend that entire brunch slowly digging my own food-grave into a bingedom of doom. I ate so much over the course of the day that I feel so sick. I really hope nobody saw noticed, or worse saw me and wondered how someone who lost weight like I did could eat so much.
*My whole family is pretty healthy--almost everyone covers the span of the healthy weight ranges, and one or two are just a little overweight. And believe me, I was watching, nobody else was snacking anywhere near as much as I did the whole time. I feel so gross. Time for bed. I'm feeling this sad regret that I spent weeks binging and didn't even get to have anything awesome and delicious like pizza. I just binge on shitty average regular food. Like a shitty croissant, and a bunch of grapes I didn't need, and three handfuls of dried apples, and tons of warm cheddar cheese that was sitting out for a while and kinda tasty but not even amazing cookies and quinoa and all this crap that was just food and I ate it to stuff my face and not even because it was delicious.
I wasted all this fat on shitty food....I didn't even get to earn it from amazing pizza or gooey homemade cookies or pasta with creamy cheesy sauce or candy or any other foods that would be on my never list.
And I'm out of time. My crazy protein fast starts tomorrow, and I'm scared. Scared of being deprived of the thing that gives me comfort and takes me away from everything stressful. I'm throwing my crutch away tomorrow
[Rant/Rave] Body recomp only adds fuel to the body dysmorphia fire in my mind. [long]
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 00:55:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kyd0u/body_recomp_only_adds_fuel_to_the_body_dysmorphia/
---
A lot of people with EDs seem to have some degree of body dysmorphia, in my personal experience. It's such a weird feeling to see yourself and not know if that's really what you look like. As a kid, when people said they saw things that weren't really there I always imagined people seeing dragons or spiders or people. IT was such an odd concept to me. How could they not see reality like everyone else?
But standing in front of the mirror has such an odd effect. There was a study (on people with anorexia, I believe) that measured the brain's reaction to pictures of strangers, people they knew, and their own body. The brain perceived their own body the same as a stranger. It also happens when you look at an older picture of yourself and can't believe it's you. "Did I really think I was fat back then?" you think as you wish you were back at that point.
A common effect of this is mirror checking. Personally, I will look at every reflective surface I pass to see how I look. It's not vanity at all. I don't know how to properly describe what I'm looking for, but I'm positive many of you do the same. I don't like mirrors at all, but if I have't seen what I look like in too long I get anxious. Mirror checking feels like putting the universe back in order if only temporarily.
It's been more often lately and I figured out why. My weight has gone up and down through depression, binging, recovery, half-hearted recovery, restriction, etc. Throughout this time I've had various levels of activity be it hours of sport each day or only a few hours of walking.
My current body at X weight isn't the same the last time I was at X weight. And it fucks with my ability to see myself. Am I really different or am I seeing myself fatter/thinner/squishier/etc. When I went up in weight, certain pants stopped fitting a Y weight. But while losing, I reached Y weight again and they fit.
I know this is why we often recommend measuring tapes over scales to track true progress, but I simply use the scale more. I wasn't really going anywhere with this post apart from getting it out of my mind for a bit.
[Rant/Rave] i used to be skinny..
/u/quartz222 [♡ 5'7 | 144.6 | -5.4 | GW 118 | 19F ♡]
Created: Mon Jul 3 00:52:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kycmi/i_used_to_be_skinny/
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i gained 25 fucking pounds since last summer. i'm sitting here thinking about that at 3 am and it makes me want to scream and cry and throw myself on the ground. last summer i used to post pictures of myself on tumblr and girls would reblog it saying they want to look like me, now i'm one of those girls, looking at how i used to look and wishing i looked like that. what the fucking fuck.
i'm 150 pounds and i NEED to be 120, at the least, by the end of the summer.
i WILL go back to college at the end of august and be skinny or i won't go back at all.
i'm not going to eat tomorrow.
i just found this subreddit and i'm going to start posting here a lot. <3
[Rant/Rave] Been gone a while, never stopped eating. I am so uncomfortable.
/u/notthinohno [161cm |Too Much | A Big Number | - Not Enough lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 3 00:45:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kybmm/been_gone_a_while_never_stopped_eating_i_am_so/
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A lot has been going on so I haven't been active, and of course i've used all the trauma and upheaval as an excuse to eat. But i've never stopped obsessing over thin people. I see them everywhere and I love them.
See, my partner has cancer again, so we've been in and out of hospital, and there are these 2 lovely thin nurses who I just adore, and who I feel like like a silly little dumpling in comparison to. And they must be underweight, but they're healthcare professionals, so it can't be all that bad.
Ooh yeah, and none of my old clothes fit me, so I had to go and buy loads of leggings and loose tops to cover my belly. For shame!
Anyway, i've got my ephedrine and my shame, so here's to hoping.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] cant weigh myself and im losing my goddamn mind
/u/mommadontmakeme [5'4"| 113lbs | 19.97 | -24lbs]
Created: Sun Jul 2 23:30:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ky13i/rant_cant_weigh_myself_and_im_losing_my_goddamn/
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I measured with a tape measure three times like always, and I'm .5 inches down so I know I've not gained but my mum is sleeping in the wrong room so I can't weigh myself and I've been away all weekend and I'm freaking the fuck out. It's Monday. I need to weigh. I need a coffee because I've literally not slept all night but then when I do weigh it won't be accurate and I just needed to type this out. I just need my routine back.
And of course I drank the fucking coffee and she's literally just got up 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 kill me and bury me in the Ted Baker 🙃🙃🙃🙃
[Help] Has anyone had people leave them because of ED?
/u/dungeonmasterbater
Created: Sun Jul 2 23:12:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kxyfh/has_anyone_had_people_leave_them_because_of_ed/
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I'm scared. I've finally accepted recovery and since I've started, I've been super honest about my thought process behind the dumb things I do to both avoid and obtain food.
I fear I've been sharing a little too much with my loved ones. I cut off a lot of relationships already because friendships require too much social eating and so few people want to just hang and not eat.
And now I'm worried that the few people I have left are thinking I'm a circus freak because of my relationship with food.
Has anyone had their loved ones abandon them because they couldn't handle the ED mindset?
Am I just going to be alone if I don't close my stupid mouth?
[Rant/Rave] My binge is finally coming to an end
/u/Profeshed
Created: Sun Jul 2 22:17:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kxq6h/my_binge_is_finally_coming_to_an_end/
---
The last few weeks have been so messed up for me. I was dieting and doing really well, hit just past my lowest weight in 11 years (128.8, dehydrated a little and totally empty stomach--post 3 day water fast), and then all went to shit. My appetite was out of control and I've been nonstop binging. Bloated with water and food and wearing clothes, the scale read 143.3 today.
I let myself indulge a little bit today because tomorrow I'll be starting a protein fast for a week.
I've read about this before, according to the author of this diet it's relatively safe, and absolutely safe and even manageable compared to a water fast.
I'll be eating just 300g of protein isolate per day.
I'm posting because I really need to finalize this for myself. I'll need to keep posting so I can keep myself through this.
I need to do this because I fail at regular dieting and I feel so sick and gross right now. What I'm doing isn't healthy and I need to be at a place where I feel good enough to want to be healthy. Right now I just want to keep drowning my self disgust in more delicious food and fuck that.
Fuck yuh appetite, ed, or whatever cause this stupid swing that I've been struggling against for the last two years. I will get to where I want to be and then I will learn to have a healthy relationship with food
[Other] finished piece // ed insp painting
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-n/a (yet) // bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Sun Jul 2 21:50:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kxlvt/finished_piece_ed_insp_painting/
---
https://imgur.com/wjaSwk1
[Discussion] Do you absorb less calories if you chew less?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 21:48:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kxllg/do_you_absorb_less_calories_if_you_chew_less/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Sleepless and starving
/u/kVIIIwithan8 [64'' | 142lbs | 24.37 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 21:26:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kxi2y/sleepless_and_starving/
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I haven't slept in 4 days (insomniac on vacation, no meds but smoke weed to help me sleep. Couldn't get any on the plane so I'm SOL on that front) and ate almost 900cals today. I'm starving but I'm surrounded by my boyfriend and women to whom he is *obviously* more attracted (I say "obvious" because he basically said as much) so....I feel like I gotta push myself extra hard. It's unfortunate but I really need to trim down--now especially--even though I'm supposed to be enjoying myself. I just feel worthless. I regret coming a little bit.
Anyway, right now its 11:26pm where I am, can't sleep because I'm hungry, can't eat because I'm shit. :(
[Rant/Rave] 9 lbs
/u/LittleBlackHeart8 [5'7" | cw:120 | gw:110 | 19.7 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 20:58:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kxddn/9_lbs/
---
I've gained 9 lbs in about 3 weeks. I don't want to go back to being bigger than this, I just can't. I'm freaking out. I've been binging like crazy lately for the last few weeks and I can't even figure out why.
I've been depressed as fuck and I can't seem to shake it off...
Tomorrow is Monday, so I am using this as an opportunity to get back where I need to be.
I just need to be stronger than I have been.
No binging. No ridiculous food orders, no crazy rationalizations to eat huge amounts of shit food, I just want to feel like myself again.
Sorry for the rant, but there's no outlet for what I'm feeling right now besides here.
No one understands, or would even try.
Thanks for reading. 💕
[Rant/Rave] A high metabolism actually =/= magic.
/u/lilmissdisappearing [5'3" | 102 | 18.57 | *not enough* | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 20:09:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kx5hz/a_high_metabolism_actually_magic/
---
**Long rant, I'm sorry. Tl;dr heavy sister went on a rant denying that CICO applies to me. Frustrated.**
I live with my older sister. She has been overweight since her early teens, but has been trying to lose weight the last few years. I was a skinny kid, and have never been above the "healthy" bmi range, though my high weight skirts that line.
All okay so far, right? We're watching Alone - a competition show where people get dropped off in the wild with just a small amount of gear to try and survive, alone, longer than anyone else.
My experience based on watching is that people do better if they're a little chubby when they start; they have a buffer in case food is hard to find at first. Many skinny contestants end emaciated, even if they did well. That sucks when you're also trying to do the physical labor involved in staying alive out there.
So we're talking about if we'd try it ever and I say I'd definitely get chubby if I was going to go on. My sister goes "could you even get chubby? Like could *you* even get chubby?" And I'm like "yes? It's just CICO."
Oh no, it wasn't actually a question. She just wanted to spend the next fifteen minutes insisting that my metabolism is too high and she's seen me eat a lot, or eat garbage, and not gain weight. I gain weight. I fluctuate within a 40lb range. I have gained weight in muscle on purpose. When I am gaining too much weight on accident I'm like "oh shit" and do everything I can to stop.
No, I really just don't eat as much as you. We have different metabolisms and different TDEEs but I *take that into account.* I don't just never get fat no matter what. When I eat a big meal the rest are smaller that day. If I eat a ton one day I don't do that the next. I don't split portions evenly with my larger, male SO. I drink water first. I fill with vegetables. I sponge the oil off. I do IF. I save for later. I use less butter.
I am skinnier than you because *I do the work.* Don't tell me I don't have to work for my size.
[Rant/Rave] day 2 of ephedra pills
/u/TheGreatMastermind [5'4 | 121 | 21 | (lowest 108), gained 13 lbs >:^( | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 19:02:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kwuat/day_2_of_ephedra_pills/
---
BOY i weigh 121 i lost 6-7 pounds in 2 days (i feel like some of it is water weight tho, bc the pills also have caffeine in them)
thia shit completely kills your appetite and it makes u 100% more focused (since youre not spending your brain energy on counting calories or trying to ward off hunger)
[Discussion] DAE have issues with dissociation/ alexithymia?
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Sun Jul 2 18:54:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kwste/dae_have_issues_with_dissociation_alexithymia/
---
Kinda off topic, but I guess we're all mad here.
My psychiatrist said that she thought these were big problems for me, stemming from PTSD. Does anyone else have these issues? How do you deal? Has anything helped?
(On mobile, tag discussion I guess)
[Discussion] What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you because of your ED?
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Sun Jul 2 18:53:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kwslw/whats_the_most_embarrassing_thing_thats_happened/
---
A recent post in here reminded me of the most disgusting thing that has happened to me because of my ED.
Last year I was walking to work and had taken laxatives the night before and all of a sudden they decided to kick in, fuuuuuuuuuck.
I couldn’t control it, I was frantically looking for the nearest shop with a toilet but because it was so early in the morning everything was closed, I could feel my bowels starting to give up on me and work was still about a mile away, so I was forced to duck behind a building, take off one of my socks and try and clean myself up the best I could with that and an old receipt I found in my bag 😭😭😭 I can’t be alone here though. I want to hear the most embarrassing / disgusting thing that your ED has made you do!
TL;DR - I shat myself in public.
[Discussion] Anyone else have an SO who doesn't know?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 18:34:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kwpih/anyone_else_have_an_so_who_doesnt_know/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] I'm back after gaining 35 lbs...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 18:06:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kwkd2/im_back_after_gaining_35_lbs/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] Wish me luck, please!
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 17:49:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kwhj6/wish_me_luck_please/
---
I'm going to try to go just one day without counting calories. I'm doing a strict vegan diet, no processed foods. I'm going to try really hard to be normal, even if it's just for 24 hours. I'm so tired... This illness is exhausting. I just want to be able to enjoy food again.
[Rant/Rave] Thought I was happy at 57kg but...ugh
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 56.5kg | BMI 18.6 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 16:51:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kw72q/thought_i_was_happy_at_57kg_butugh/
---
Saw some tagged photos and I don't look AS awful as I did, but I definitely carry most of my weight on my arms and thighs. Thighs I don't mind because that's sexy (in my opinion anyway) but arms?! Come on man. Just gimme those slender upper arms and dainty wrists already.
[Help] Confusion with TDEE, help!!
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ veg ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Sun Jul 2 16:40:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kw51x/confusion_with_tdee_help/
---
I used iifym.com's TDEE calculator. I'm 18 and 5'11" but I put in 5'10" because I'm technically 5'10.75". I chose the least activity levels and everything.
It says my TDEE is 1864 fucking calories. That's a TON. Yesterday I ate 847 and today I'm eating 1400. It says to get to my goal weight I should eat 1565 calories a day. That's SO MANY what the fuck!!
[Intro] [Intro] Relapsing back to Mia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 16:09:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kvzfy/intro_relapsing_back_to_mia/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i've been bitching that my period was late
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Sun Jul 2 16:06:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kvysc/ive_been_bitching_that_my_period_was_late/
---
but i just took a home test and it turns out i'm pregnant.
shit. shit shit shit.
i have mixed feelings. like i'm happy because i loved being pregnant and i love my children but i've been smoking like a train (quitting RIGHT NOW) and i had a c-section five months ago so it is SUPER EARLY for this shit and i just......really don't know how to feel right now. at least pregnancy makes my hunger basically nonexistent!
god, i'm so fucked up.
[Discussion] i only like happy thinspo
/u/gameofboness
Created: Sun Jul 2 16:05:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kvykv/i_only_like_happy_thinspo/
---
so recently i realized that i can only enjoy thinspo where the subject looks happy and not like an ED motivated picture. like any picture that looks like a body check or of someone that openly has an ED automatically loses its motivation.
i realized this is because some part of me still thinks that when i reach whatever UGW, i'll be free. i'll be happy. i'll never struggle with food again. obviously this isn't true at all but i can't shake the wish.
what about you all? any specific thinspo qualities you look for?
[Other] Chris Pratt being super relatable (except we'd probably add a few more stages after his last one)
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 16:02:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kvxyb/chris_pratt_being_super_relatable_except_wed/
---
https://www.facebook.com/BuzzFeedObsessed/videos/vb.280467515620435/446102045723647/?type=2&theater
[Help] Can't sleep hungry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 15:04:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kvmpw/cant_sleep_hungry/
---
[deleted]
What the HELL is this
/u/mieletrose [5'5" | CW 122.5 | BMI 20.6 | 7.5 lb lost | GW 100 | 17F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 14:26:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kvf0f/what_the_hell_is_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/ca4qk35vn87z.png
[Rant/Rave] Somebody stole my lunch at work!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 13:44:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kv6t6/somebody_stole_my_lunch_at_work/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] HIFW checking the weight data I've logged.
/u/EmpressAdrianne
Created: Sun Jul 2 13:39:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kv5v3/hifw_checking_the_weight_data_ive_logged/
---
https://i.redd.it/45kukcklf87z.jpg
[Help] Ephedrine in Canada?
/u/zeldatenn
Created: Sun Jul 2 13:37:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kv5h4/ephedrine_in_canada/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Favorite seasonings, spices, dressings?
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Sun Jul 2 13:35:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kv522/favorite_seasonings_spices_dressings/
---
I've been going through a salad phase, and have been wondering what spices or salad dressings you all use? Where I live, I have not found any low cal options at all. I love flavour in food, and Im getting tired of salt and pepper and vinegar on my foods. So, any ideas?
[Intro] How many times can I be back before I actually stick to it? Hello again friends
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:156.8 | GW: 125 |F 18]
Created: Sun Jul 2 13:32:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kv4kv/how_many_times_can_i_be_back_before_i_actually/
---
Is it just me, or is your willingness to not be a fatass strongly correlated with the weather? For some reason, when it's cold and rainy outside my head is all "no dude ur totally fine to curl up in a blanket and eat your body weight in chips because no one will see your body." But when it's sunny and I realize I may actually have to put shorts on in public (gasp the horror) I can eat 3 blueberries and call it thanksgiving. Well, despite it being July, summer has finally hit the Pacific Northwest so here I am, back on my alt Reddit account that only subs to ED and exercise pages. I've missed you all, glad to see everyone is happy and achieving their goals. For now, I have a month and a half to go from blue whale to whatever smaller animal fits this analogy before I leave for college, so you'll be seeing a lot more of me than you have recently.
Sadly and happily, croutons is back:/
[Other] Family vacation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 13:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuyfv/family_vacation/
---
[deleted]
[Other] PSA: Halo Top Sale at Target (this week) - 2 for $8
/u/Vicamin [5'5" | CW: 112 | 18.6 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 12:59:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuxxk/psa_halo_top_sale_at_target_this_week_2_for_8/
---
I've seen posts on people getting Halo Top coupons. I don't know how you get them or find them, so I don't really buy Halo Top. But I saw this on Target's [weekly ad](https://weeklyad.target.com/). I didn't add an image or link reference because I'm not 100% sure if store location matters, but you can double check by setting your store location.
[Goal] I think this has been asked before, but with new people and just how our thoughts change over time...what is your "goal weight" at the moment and how did you pick it?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sun Jul 2 12:58:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuxll/i_think_this_has_been_asked_before_but_with_new/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuxll/i_think_this_has_been_asked_before_but_with_new/
[Rant/Rave] I wish it wasn't all about food [rant]
/u/ihaveathingforcats [5'5.7" | CW: 66.5 kg | GW: 46.5kg | Mood: kinda ok | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 12:46:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuv2z/i_wish_it_wasnt_all_about_food_rant/
---
That's it really, I wish going out with friends didn't imply eating out, or having a family gathering wasn't about "Dad's managing the barbecue this year!" Fuck, what about a normal Netflix evening without the brownies/popcorn/coke/pizza for once? I know most people don't think about food 24/7 but they sure deal with it and consume it throughout the day without even thinking about it.
Saying "Oh no I already ate" or "Sorry my stomach hurts today" gets old really fast, and the comments people make. "Tell your daughter to try the food for once, making a bad example for her cousins"
I can't even fathom doing that and not becoming morbidly obese (Almost been there, not fun) What is eating intuitively when there's food everywhere and everyone is eating it all the time no fucks given? Am I stupid? I cant be moderate I suck at it it's either restrict and measure and focus or binge until you have to throw up because your stomach can't handle the abuse anymore.
Like I know it's my fault for not being able to just be around food and not care, but I'm still sad about the amount of fucks I give and how it messes up any time I want to go and be a normal social being. It messes my relationship with my parents, when dad cooks I feel like an utter prick for not being able to eat it and keep it down because he makes such great food! I feel ungrateful and like such a bad daughter, a bad friend a bad everything and if food weren't such a big thing it would be easier.
(I know I sound ridiculous, sorry)
[Discussion] What is your most paranoid food behavior?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 12:23:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuqjf/what_is_your_most_paranoid_food_behavior/
---
When I found out that calorie counts per serving on labels are rounded up or down to the nearest 5, i started adding like 10-15 calories per serving to everything I would log. Even though that mathematically doesn't make sense.
Also I don't eat things with mixed contents (like Chex Mix, trail mix, etc.) that I didn't make myself anymore because I'm afraid the calorie count would be way off if for some reason there was more of one thing and less of another in the mix than the one they used to calculate the calories.
And probably my most "reasonable" one is that I don't trust those Coke machines where you can pick all the different flavors and there's only one nozzle, because I'm afraid that some flavored syrup residue will get into my zero calorie soda.
[Humor] What I mean by "sorry, not hungry. Already ate!"
/u/nueroux [Dead Inside]
Created: Sun Jul 2 11:56:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kul4s/what_i_mean_by_sorry_not_hungry_already_ate/
---
http://i.imgur.com/26q6hw4.jpg
[Other] Zero coke vanilla, who knew?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 11:43:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuioa/zero_coke_vanilla_who_knew/
---
https://i.redd.it/w2ydl8zxu77z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My bf (?) keeps asking for pics, but I keep putting him off because I wanna lose more weight first
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 11:30:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kug3d/my_bf_keeps_asking_for_pics_but_i_keep_putting/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] I'm obsessed with food even though I don't eat it.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | no clue | went to treatment | send help]
Created: Sun Jul 2 11:23:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kueqj/im_obsessed_with_food_even_though_i_dont_eat_it/
---
I don't know if the title makes sense but~
Also, hi guys. I haven't been on here in a while but my life has changed a lot in the last couple of months and yeah~
ANYWAYS, so I'm living in Germany right now. It's a wild change from living in Las Vegas but I got the amazing opportunity to be a working student at a dressage barn and I'll be here until Christmas or so.
Anyways, food and my eating disorder has been...weird here. Firstly, no offense to any German or European members of this sub, I'm just not quite used to the food here. Secondly, I work a LOT and hardly have time to eat during the day. I also don't get that hungry, probably because I'm smoking (cigarettes) way more, as Europe is more smoker-friendly compared to the US. I also take anywhere between 13,000 and 18,000 steps a day, and I ride for an hour or so every day. I'm super active and I'm not eating much so I'm losing weight and it's great! I actually eat quite a bit at night when I get off work, but it's not enough to maintain my weight so...yeah! I am losing weight eating pasta and chocolate and it's great.
But anyways, since I've been here, I've found that I always look forward to situations with food, even if I don't eat the food. For example, when my boss takes me grocery shopping or even to the freaking gas station for a sandwich. I spend ages looking, examining, comparing all the foods and it's just so interesting to me. I love to sort out through all the things I would and wouldn't eat. I spend a good 10 minutes at the bakery deciding what to eat then end up with just a coffee in hand. It's kind of sick I suppose.
There's really no point to this post but this food obsession is something new to me. In the past when I was relapsing, yes, in a way I was obsessed with food, calories, etc. But I always *feared* food and avoided situations with food at all costs. But now, I'm still kinda relapsing but I welcome food into my life. If that makes sense? In the past I didn't look forward to being around food and I wouldn't eat food. But now I actually look forward to being around food even though I'm still not going to be eating it.
[Rant/Rave] A new low weight I haven't seen in over a year...feeling victorious but the recovery voice is still there and feels so sad
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |93|BMI (new)16.1| GW 85 lbs |32 y/o cat lady]
Created: Sun Jul 2 11:05:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kubc3/a_new_low_weight_i_havent_seen_in_over_a/
---
It's strange to be living in two worlds. I am 93.6 today, putting me at a BMI of almost under 16 (new BMI).
I feel okay about it. The ED voice is happy, but the rational part of me feels sad.
I plan to keep going, for no reason other than that I feel this motor in my head that just wants the numbers to continue dropping.
There is no reason. I don't think I'll be happier. But it's become something like primal instinct, something that feels natural to do. It almost feel right. My body craves to be in the 80s, but my head, prefrontal cortex and gray matter are trying to reach me, begging me to find some other meaning in life.
I hear the voices of recovery. They make sense. It's the right thing to do. I want to listen. But the scale's pull is so much stronger.
I'm so out of control with my own life and I feel an awkward balance between acceptance, numb and hopelessness. This illness is a terrible beast.
[Help] Help, feeling weak
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Sun Jul 2 11:02:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kuaqt/help_feeling_weak/
---
I started restricting again and lost 4 pounds in 2 days. I know that's probably just water weight, but I feel really weak anyways. I've been hydrating a lot, but whenever I stand up/move my pulse skyrockets and I feel like I can't get enough air in. I also really just want to take a nap, but I only got up 3 hours ago and don't want my family to judge me. I've been eating around 500-700 calories per day; I try to avoid solid foods until dinner.
Do any of you have any tips on feeling stronger/normal? I want to work out today, and bake, and well, go do things.. And I really can't afford fainting, nobody in my family knows about any of my disordered habits/tendencies. I just know they would make me eat even more than normal.
[Help] How do you guys take full body pictures without a mirror?
/u/SherwoodGreen [180+ cm |65 and gaining (LW: 57)| Male | 16 years old]
Created: Sun Jul 2 10:50:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ku8fd/how_do_you_guys_take_full_body_pictures_without_a/
---
Sorry if this doesn't fit here
[Rant/Rave] for the first time in five years
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Sun Jul 2 10:40:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ku6bt/for_the_first_time_in_five_years/
---
i binged and purged. it's only 9:40 AM.
i promised myself i wouldn't do this anymore because once i start i can't stop. all my self-control goes out the window. i know objectively that it was a relatively amount of calories for a binge (610) but anything that i eat that isn't meticulously planned for counts as a binge and i was just *so fucking hungry*. i want to crawl into a hole and die.
god damn it. god DAMN it. i was doing so well.
[Discussion] DAE just have the most pathetic pain tolerance?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Sun Jul 2 10:19:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ku26k/dae_just_have_the_most_pathetic_pain_tolerance/
---
I just lightly bumped my stair railing with my elbow and hip and It hurt so bad I sat on the ground whining.
[Discussion] What should I order on Netrition?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 09:57:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kty1q/what_should_i_order_on_netrition/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] "what do you want to do for your birthday?"
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | pregnant | 28 F 🍋]
Created: Sun Jul 2 09:27:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kts64/what_do_you_want_to_do_for_your_birthday/
---
stay in bed by myself. sleep. not eat. literally anything but go out and pretend to be happy in front of my family like it's some kind of goddamn performance art. thanks.
[Other] Eff this, I need to get back on the recovery train
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 09:20:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ktr03/eff_this_i_need_to_get_back_on_the_recovery_train/
---
I've been feeling really, really stressed about managing the ED and I'm really tired of the mental gymnastics my brain is doing to "hide" it in the future. I don't want to have the possibility of weight restoration put me in a binge space and just destroy everything. I can just see that keeping me in the same damn cycle I've been in for over a decade. I'm not so far gone that I can't hop back on track.
I'm starting with a scary brunch today that I have completely planned out (not super strict, exchanges and things that could fit in those exchanges) and rolling with that. I want to enjoy time with my friends without just being focused on how much/little I'm eating. And get back to my meal plan and maybe, just maybe, start having a normal, stable life.
I'll still be around here. Ya'll are lovely <3
[Rant/Rave] I don't own a scale
/u/sea-sigh
Created: Sun Jul 2 08:59:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ktn1p/i_dont_own_a_scale/
---
I thought it would be good for me so I threw mine out a few years ago at my LW. Now I keep gaining and I really regret that decision after realizing last night that I weigh a lot more than I thought I did 😭💔 now I've got to figure out where I'm gonna find the $ for a new one. Does anyone feel like if they were rich, losing weight would be so much easier? Like all of my money would go towards hiring a chef to make me low cal meals and liposuction.
[Help] I think my sister has an ED, but I can't tip off my parents without them realizing I have an ED too.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 07:38:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kt9ue/i_think_my_sister_has_an_ed_but_i_cant_tip_off_my/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm 50 pounds down and I have 50 more to go
/u/Discountmein [5'6" | 170 | 27.4 | 55lbs down | Agender]
Created: Sun Jul 2 07:37:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kt9o2/im_50_pounds_down_and_i_have_50_more_to_go/
---
And I can't stop freaking out about how I'm going to keep this up and now my friend (who really does not understand ED'd even though she's the kindest, most understanding person) has taken issue with the rate of my weight loss. She's at Whole Foods right now getting me something for breakfast and I'm so worried she's going to purposefully pick something dense in calories. I AM STILL OVERWEIGHT!! Get off my back :::::(((((((
[Discussion] Does anybody else have periods where they "Recover™", in other words binge like crazy every day?
/u/SherwoodGreen [180+ cm |65 and gaining (LW: 57)| Male | 16 years old]
Created: Sun Jul 2 06:39:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kt1at/does_anybody_else_have_periods_where_they_recover/
---
Third time :')
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 02, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 2 06:11:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ksxot/daily_food_diary_july_02_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 02, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 2 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ksxjx/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
---
Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
Pro-Ana/weightloss accountability websites?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 2 03:02:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ksdip/proanaweightloss_accountability_websites/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] found this in my phone notes from two years ago. still feel the same in some ways.
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 02:59:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ksd2k/found_this_in_my_phone_notes_from_two_years_ago/
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Most of my life has been filled with hospitals, sympathy cards and funerals. I lived most of my life learning how to live with grief and sadness. My life, as of late, is an example of what happens when you forget happiness. But what do you do if you want to remember how to be happy but do not remember what happiness feels like?
[Rant/Rave] where do my priorities even fall
/u/NavigationalError [5'2'' | cw/bmi: kms | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 2 01:31:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ks494/where_do_my_priorities_even_fall/
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I'm not sure what I'd tag/flair this as, but kms.
I binged for 2-3 days (although not terribly, maybe 500-1500 over my allotted amount of calories) and now, I have so much fucking water weight. I don't know what to do about it either. I gained about 4-5 pounds after binging which I know is probably water retention because of high sodium.
I keep binging though and it's making me hate myself, so I'm starting to debate on if I want to take meds that have a super well known side effect of completely eliminating the feeling of hunger pretty much. (It's called zonisamide/Zonegran for those who are curious. It's being tested as an alternative treatment for obesity.) I've taken it before for seizures caused by another well known medication around this sub, Wellbutrin.
Now, the shitty part is that the medication absolutely fucks up my kidneys and causes all the side effects that warning labels are always yelling in BOLD, CAPITAL LETTERS LIKE YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY CALL YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. My dumb ass did it before and dropped like 5 lbs before having my S/O stop me because it was getting bad. I want to do it again to lose this weight, but I don't know. I hate this. I hate being fat and ugly and being known in my family as the fat girl. To fuck my organs up and be skinny or not to. 🙃
[Help] How to deal with hatred of oneself
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Sun Jul 2 00:58:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ks0l7/how_to_deal_with_hatred_of_oneself/
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Just curious how the rest of the crew deals with it. I'm reaching a point where when those who I care about ask how I am and "I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF HOW ARE YOU" almost bursts out of me. Can't say I'm in a good place mentally but how do the rest of you cope with these feelings and how to properly respond? Part of me would love to hint to the fact that I'm slowly dying inside but the only response I can come up with is somewhere between self-deprecating humor and "oh yeah all good."
What do you do when you feel like this? I have had this feeling of near bursting into tears bubbling below the surface and am.. not dealing with it well (oh haaaay gin and tonics)
[Rant/Rave] 1,500 calorie lunch
/u/sucralosedosed
Created: Sat Jul 1 23:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6krqhd/1500_calorie_lunch/
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It's a family gathering and I let myself freaking go and I ate 1,500 calories' worth of lunch and I just wanna vomit but I can't ugh
[Goal] I'm gonna try to quit smoking, which will probably put a damper on my weight loss
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Sat Jul 1 23:01:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6krmce/im_gonna_try_to_quit_smoking_which_will_probably/
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I think the only way i'll be strong enough, is if i replace the cigarettes with something else i desire (ie. food) so im expecting to end up eating far too much, at least until i can get all the nicotine out of my system
major bummer, but i dont want to end up all wrinkly with yellow teeth and bad breath
[Intro] this is my, like, fourth intro post
/u/the-watermeloner [113.4 lbs | 5'4" | 19.85 | my bmi makes me want to die]
Created: Sat Jul 1 22:34:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kriub/this_is_my_like_fourth_intro_post/
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I need to stop making new accounts.
anyways, I was formerly on the account of /u/c/a/n/c/e/r/o/f/t/h/e/b/o/n/e and before that, /u/w/h/a/l/e/_/x and before that, /u/I/m_/a_/w/h/a/l/e_/a/m/a/ (don't mind my chronic fear of an irl friend finding me). no one probably remembers me, but I lowkey lurk here all the time and know basically everyone (p.s. hello to my fellow lurkers, let's become active together <3)
I'm 14, diagnosed mdd and gad. my ed isn't diagnosed because I don't want to recover and will be forced to if I share that information with my parents. currently in therapy for self harm and aforementioned stuff.
anyways, I really like memes and music suggestions <3
[Humor] My ~*anorexic*~ grocery haul
/u/life-as-a-loon [5'3"|CW 108.6|19.7|F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 21:24:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kr8ls/my_anorexic_grocery_haul/
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https://imgur.com/pcvz8OD
[Humor] My ~*anorexic*~ grocery haul
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 21:20:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kr7zv/my_anorexic_grocery_haul/
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https://imgur.com/Y3SjGkD
[Help] Question: I used to take Hydroxycut and it worked great, but then they took out the ingredient that gave me energy. Is there anything out there now that works the same way?
/u/NotYourAverageTomBoy
Created: Sat Jul 1 21:05:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kr5m7/question_i_used_to_take_hydroxycut_and_it_worked/
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It also helped with food cravings.
I hate how much I've isolated myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 20:40:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kr1wx/i_hate_how_much_ive_isolated_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just drank hot sauce straight from the bottle.
/u/lacey_lovely [5'3" | CW 101 | BMI 18.4 | UGW 88? | 23F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 20:12:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kqxk3/i_just_drank_hot_sauce_straight_from_the_bottle/
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I decided to up my intake today so my hunger signals are even more fucked than usual and I'm *starving*. I already went 100 cals over my upped plan and the urge to keep going is strong, but I hate myself enough already, so yeah. The hot sauce. I have a strong tolerance for spicy food so it wasn't *that* bad, but it wasn't pleasant either, and fuck it, I'm going back to the kitchen to do it again.
[Discussion] Is this a good diet for weight loss? What could I improve on for better results?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Sat Jul 1 19:54:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kqutf/is_this_a_good_diet_for_weight_loss_what_could_i/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I just binged but not really?
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 18:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kqlqv/i_just_binged_but_not_really/
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I usually try to consume as little as possible and lately my goal has been max 400cals a day. After getting nauseous due to a bad batch of the meal replacement drink I've been having lately, I agreed to eat solid food again.
I feel so gross. Earlier today I had an entire toasted bagel with butter and after waking up from a depression nap and I just a piece of buttered bread, half another toasted bagel with butter and a quarter cup of barbecue corn nuts. I know it isn't "a lot" compared to what normal people eat but for me it feels like tons and I want to purge. I have a headache so I can't since I just took some pills for it and don't want to throw them up but god damn. I just let myself go and eat all that bread and snack like it was nothing. I drank two large glasses of water to help but I should have just made myself a smoothie.
I'm also going to be expected to eat later since it's Canada Day and my boyfriend wanted us to get take out and try some new beers together. Once my stomach settles I'm going to do some yoga.
[Discussion] Constantly at the grocery store
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 18:34:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kqhp1/constantly_at_the_grocery_store/
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Does anyone else who's restrictive type find themselves at the grocery store all the time? I've been today once already, and I went yesterday and the day before, and I'm thinking of going again later because I forgot to grab cauliflower rice. Is this an ED thing or a me thing?
[Discussion] Anyone else have a pretty face but a horrid body?
/u/skinnysoleil [5'4 | SW: 165 | CW: 152 | GW: 99 by 2018]
Created: Sat Jul 1 17:57:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kqbox/anyone_else_have_a_pretty_face_but_a_horrid_body/
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Because that's the fucking story of my life. I've grown up constantly being told I'm pretty by both girls and boys so I don't feel terrible about my looks but being fat ruins it all for me. It's not even that I hate my lumpy stomach, but certain angles of my face make me look like a huge cow because of the way extra fat is dispersed.
Anytime I think I'm pretty, my fat tells me otherwise. You guys like this too? I'm always so jealous of the skinny girls with average faces. That's better than being the "girl who would be hot if she lost weight"
[Rant/Rave] "I won't be able to hook up when I'm this fat"
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Sat Jul 1 17:48:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kqa3d/i_wont_be_able_to_hook_up_when_im_this_fat/
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The reality is that I'll hate myself too much whether I'm 20lbs or 200lbs, so what's the point of all this?
God, make me asexual.
[Rant/Rave] I want to kill myself every time I think of how much I eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 17:41:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kq8w0/i_want_to_kill_myself_every_time_i_think_of_how/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Just a rant about college
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 150 | 24.2| -35| F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 17:31:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kq79h/just_a_rant_about_college/
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I was trying to recover for a while but that was pretty short lived. I went to orientation for the university i will be attending in the fall a few weeks ago and the disordered thoughts were crazy. Everyone was so thin and gorgeous and then there was just me. I met a really really cool guy while there and all i could think was "wow i bet this could go somewhere if i was thin!" I am majoring in Dietetics(haha surprise surprise) and i am SURE all of the other girls in my major will be pretty and thin because they are probably studying nutrition and Dietetics because they're nutritious and conscious of food! Here i am with my unhealthy food relationship and constant panic about eating!
Today i started talking to a girl who is possibly going to room with me and i am petrified of being the ugly gross roommate. I don't want to be seen with her and everyone to be amazed that we even talk because she is gorgeous and pretty thin! I realized that before i go i can probably lose around 20-30 lbs but i am still panicked. I NEED to stick with this and i go through so many days where i question why i am still trying to lose weight because I'm "perfectly fine" but realistically i don't deserve food and i shouldn't need it!
Tldr: i dont want to be the fat roommate and i don't know how to function properly.
[Discussion] |Discussion| Calories in SF Jell-O?
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |110.8 | -109.2 | GW: 110 | UGW:105 | 20A]
Created: Sat Jul 1 17:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kq465/discussion_calories_in_sf_jello/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else's ED fueled by a specific guy or SO?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 17:09:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kq3k9/is_anyone_elses_ed_fueled_by_a_specific_guy_or_so/
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[deleted]
[Humor] probably my most ED purchase yet ^.^
/u/lostinagrocerystore [5'2" | 105 | 19.9 | -50 | GW: 95]
Created: Sat Jul 1 17:03:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kq2hq/probably_my_most_ed_purchase_yet/
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https://imgur.com/a/17lFN
[Rant/Rave] Just had to tell someone this!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 16:44:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpz3b/just_had_to_tell_someone_this/
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[deleted]
[Tip] For anyone who doesn't know about these yet -68kcal vegan burgers!! 🍔
/u/americancherry
Created: Sat Jul 1 16:29:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpwik/for_anyone_who_doesnt_know_about_these_yet_68kcal/
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http://imgur.com/3fqlRra
[Rant/Rave] I'm a selfish hypocrite
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 16:27:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpw8q/im_a_selfish_hypocrite/
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[deleted]
[Other] Short, ambien fueled poem I apparently wrote last night
/u/invisible_lizz [5' | 99.4| BMI:19.4 l GW 90| -45 l]
Created: Sat Jul 1 15:45:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpo9a/short_ambien_fueled_poem_i_apparently_wrote_last/
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"don't buy that many", he said
"Because
you might eat all of it tonight"
So I ate four
shots of vodka for dinner
instead
[Rant/Rave] when thin doesn't feel good enough.
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | UGW: 77 | 20F | 🍑: starpocalypse]
Created: Sat Jul 1 14:58:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpfcj/when_thin_doesnt_feel_good_enough/
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Does anyone else feel that the body dysmorphia translates to other areas?
[TRIGGER: Racism, for those of you who don't want to hear about it.]
I live in what's considered the South. I go to a school where Greek life has been nationally recognized and notorious for racism. I used to be in Greek life and left for that very reason.
I feel like even if I hit sub-80 pounds, there's no changing ugly. There's no changing skin color. I've been looking at old photos on Facebook and even though my own family is supportive of me getting a nose job, I just have lost the drive and the motivation. I want to go do yoga, or dance, or fun activities but because I feel like this little brown island in a sea of ethnocentrism, it's hard to feel comfortable.
It doesn't help that before I gained all this weight, and whenever I do try to look pretty, then I've received sexually implicit comments that sorta tell me "Hey, you (insert starpocalypse's race) girls are only good for sex/housekeeping/nanny!"
I can't live here much longer. I am so afraid that I will see this no matter where I go. I know that it's good and great to be woke and fight the good fight but after two years of college dealing with this, I don't know if I can any longer. I simply feel too ugly and understand that in this world, there *is* such a thing as too ugly.
But that's okay, I'm getting plastic surgery and trying to be thin and doing my best to learn how to dress better and apply my makeup better. I get that I can't just sit around for someone to tell me I'm beautiful--sometimes we just have to work for it, and that's OK. But, the problem is that I've lost motivation and I no longer see a point for it all. I don't want to have to start bleaching my skin just to feel accepted.
I've just been in a really deep, dark hole, and I don't know how to get out of it. But maybe that's what I need. I lost 30lbs in high school when I was depressed. My ED is starting to turn into me just wanting to die, and I think I'm okay with that.
[Rant/Rave] Lose it does the MyFitnessPal thing where it yells at you for not eating enough :(
/u/biscuitsisfluffy
Created: Sat Jul 1 14:42:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpc6b/lose_it_does_the_myfitnesspal_thing_where_it/
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https://i.redd.it/jpjbq1wvl17z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Saturday Solidarity Post
/u/datmanateelife
Created: Sat Jul 1 14:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpc1v/saturday_solidarity_post/
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On mobile, please flair discussion
Hey, guys! With this being a holiday weekend for many of us in North America, I know that there are some of us out there who will have social obligations revolving around food. I'm DESPERATE to not binge tonight, and maybe there are others out there like me who are feeling the same.
I figured I could make this post for us to come to for support this weekend, or to just visually remind us (ahem... me...) about our goals and that there are people here who understand what we're going thru.
I believe in all of you lovely people, and I hope you all stay safe this weekend (and maybe even manage to have a little fun)!
❤datmanatee
[Rant/Rave] NOSE VOMIT
/u/flyingmonkeyssaymoo
Created: Sat Jul 1 14:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kpate/nose_vomit/
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Why the hell does my nose always get filled with vomit????? Pls nose learn how to properly close yourself when I'm vomiting. Does anyone else experience this? How do you stop it???
[Help] Anyone have experience with carotenosis?
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Sat Jul 1 14:16:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kp70f/anyone_have_experience_with_carotenosis/
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(Sorry for the lack of stats I'm on mobile)
Anyways, I'm pretty sure I have it. My skin looks pretty orange-y, especially on the palms of my hands.
I eat a good amount of carrots, but also other things high in carotenoids (kale, apples, etc etc). Most of my diet is veg.
I also read that it's associated with AN, vegetarianism, and amenhorrea. All of those apply to me.
I mean, I know it's not dangerous and I could keep being orange tinted...but...It's not the greatest.
However all of my safe foods have a lot of carotenoids!
[Rant/Rave] 🌿friday selfie threads🌿
/u/indogyearsimdead [✨ 5'5" | 105 | 17.68 | -51 | F✨]
Created: Sat Jul 1 14:03:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kp4hj/friday_selfie_threads/
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i've only ever posted once in the weekly progress pic thread, but holy shit do i read every post and view every selfie!! i'm sure it originated as a weekly motivation thread, but it's really helped a lot with my body dysmorphia???? being able to objectively look at a person with similar stats to mine is so refreshing after still seeing myself as 160lbs in the mirror everyday. like, oh we're the same height and weight.... who knew i wasn't actually still fat!!!!!!! anyway 🗣 s/o to the mods for the thread and s/o to my stat twins for helping combat the BDD for at least a little while 🌱
[Other] Goodnight <3
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | 54.3kg | 19.25 | 13.4kg | boat]
Created: Sat Jul 1 13:50:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kp1xc/goodnight_3/
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It's been one hell of a day. I ate two packs of chocolate digestives, one pint of ice cream, half a pizza, a small bag of candy and a salad(lol) but tomorrow is gonna be better. Tomorrow has to be better. I'm fifteen. There's lots of days left, and I'm gonna use them.
Depending on the time zone, I hope you guys have a wonderful day/night :)
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] I tried eating normally for two days and failed miserably.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 13:40:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kp00r/rantrave_i_tried_eating_normally_for_two_days_and/
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[deleted]
[Other] MOTHERLOAD!!! Costco US 25cal/serv
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Sat Jul 1 13:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6koub3/motherload_costco_us_25calserv/
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https://i.redd.it/acxga4xi517z.jpg
[Discussion] If you track your weight everyday, tell me about your weight trends, fluctuations, plateaus, whooshes, etc.?
/u/dontthinkineedyou [🌱 5'4 | F | GW: 107 🌻 | 🍑: kumoma]
Created: Sat Jul 1 13:04:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kosz0/if_you_track_your_weight_everyday_tell_me_about/
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Hey y’all! I’ve just started weighing myself everyday and I’m curious! I’ve heard lots of talk about plateaus and whooshes just on the internet in general, but I'm not sure exactly what that looks like on the scale. What do you personally consider to be plateauing and whooshing?
For example, when you say that you’ve been “stuck” at a certain number, do you mean you get on the scale every single day and it spits that exact number back at you everyday? If you fluctuate between two numbers, or if you’re stuck between two numbers for a while (ex: you never weigh more than 120 and never less than 119 for a week), do you consider that to be a plateau as well?
And for whooshes, do you watch it happen over a few days, or do you literally weigh one thing the day before and weigh a significantly lighter number when you wake up in the morning?
I only have ~20 days of data, but I’ve noticed that I’ll hang around a number for a few days, and then I’ll have a little continuous downward trend the next few days, and then I’ll hang around a new number for a few days, then lose another pound or so over the next 2 days, rinse and repeat. I cannot imagine being about the same number for literally weeks?? Does that really happen?
[Discussion] Do you sometimes feel like your personality is split between your binge and restrict modes?
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Sat Jul 1 12:59:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kos3h/do_you_sometimes_feel_like_your_personality_is/
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When I'm put together, have my make-up and a cute outfit on, and out to eat at a fancy place with my friends, I never want to eat. I want to restrict so hard and it comes at almost no effort, and I can keep it going for a very long time.
On the other side of things though, when I haven't showered that day, have a pimple, need to go get my eyebrows done, or if I'm being lazy (haven't left the house in a couple of days, slept until 1 PM etc.) then I want to eat the entire world and cry and dig myself deeper.
It almost feels like I have two personalities - one "perfect" that restricts and looks good and is confident, other that is a complete mess and cries a lot and doesn't want to leave bed. Anyone else have that going on? I feel like it's kind of weird and I don't know how to feel about being two people, makes me feel like the perfect one is fake and I'm just trying too hard to be someone I'm not.
[Humor] Not sure if anyone else watches Big Brother, but I think we can all agree that this would be the best (and worst) competition ever, and we'd win hands down.
/u/mapvi [5'4 | CW: 136.8ish | LW: 124.4 | GW1: 132 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 12:58:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6koruj/not_sure_if_anyone_else_watches_big_brother_but_i/
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https://youtu.be/bZB9b2sEMNY?t=345
[Discussion] DAE feel like people are always mad at you
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 140.6 | 20.4 | GW2 145 | GW3 139]
Created: Sat Jul 1 12:54:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kor2n/dae_feel_like_people_are_always_mad_at_you/
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off topic but I need to get this off of my chest. DAE always think their friends are mad at them? If my friend doesn't answer a text right away I go into a full panic. I very rarely ever say anything negative about my friends but I always think somehow they heard me over the phone like a voice text or butt dial. Please someone talk me off the ledge bc I'm so insane right now.
[Rant/Rave] Annnnndddd I fainted...
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 136.6 | BMI: 28.09 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 12:43:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6koou3/annnnndddd_i_fainted/
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I’m a BFA Photo Emphasis major, and some of my old friends from the community college I got my AA at wanted to go hiking and take photos today, so I joined them. Well, I took an EC stack, drank a sugar free Red Bull and a cup of black coffee and called that “breakfast”. I took plenty of water to stay hydrated, but we were going up an almost 90 degree incline, I had my 30lb gear bag on my back, and it was about 96 degrees outside with 65% humidity... everything is going good and about 2 hours in everything goes black and I’m laying (thankfully) flat on my back in a pile of leaves and moss. I had just flopped over off the side of the trail. It took a good 20 minutes for my vision to come back fully and I pretty much ended the hike for everyone. FML.
[Other] Hey would you guys take this survey on proana communities?
/u/aconnescaper [64 in | 137.6 lbs | 22.9 bmi | -14.4 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 12:05:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kogri/hey_would_you_guys_take_this_survey_on_proana/
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It's 100% anonymous. I'm doing it for a school project :) I get an automatic pass after a certain number of responses!!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/proanasurvey
Thanks so much in advance. If anything ever comes from my research I'll be sure to share with you all!
[Humor] Saw this in r/wewantplates and was like this is actually a really great strategy to stop myself from bingeing. Unless it would just cause me to hate myself more...
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 1 11:53:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6koe6a/saw_this_in_rwewantplates_and_was_like_this_is/
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https://i.redd.it/k8gqd2gnr07z.jpg
[Intro] Hello!
/u/alphabeticaesthetic [5'5 | 117 | 19.5 | UGW 100 | 20F | 🍑: moodles]
Created: Sat Jul 1 11:46:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kocuh/hello/
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Hi everyone :) I made a fresh new account to start commenting on this sub after seeing how welcoming the community is, and figured I should start with an intro. I've been lurking for the past half month or so but funny thing is, I logged into reddit on my laptop for the first time in a while, and saw that I already had a flair on this sub for a low weight I haven't been at in 2 years :') I would kill to weigh that much now, sort of goes to show how I'll probably never be satisfied no matter where I'm at...
This is pretty much going to be a stream of consciousness, I apologize! A little about me: I'm currently 20, and have been struggling with a cycle of disordered eating and depression for the past 5+ years. As a kid, I ate as much as I wanted, when I wanted, but somehow managed to remain rail thin without a care for my weight. Once puberty hit in my early teens though, I suddenly got hips, boobs, and started gaining weight a lot easier which scared me and started to make me worry about my body. I yo-yo dieted, crash dieted, and fasted/binged my way through 15 and 16, gaining and losing the same 10 pounds. When I was 17, I started restricting heavily and exercising myself to exhaustion, finally dropping enough weight that I started to feel ok about myself on some days. I spent a year balanced at a weight that didn't make me hate myself and was just enough to keep me out of risk of hospitalization, but eventually went back to restricting. One of my friends caught on and basically forced me into recovery, which undid all of my work and put me at my highest weight yet.
For the past 2 years, I've been cycling through a pattern of feeling ok and starting to think that I'm actually recovering for a few months at a time, but then ultimately I always come back to restricting and hating my weight, hopelessly imagining that this is going to be the rest of my life.
I appear to lead a normal life outside of my ED, and do everything in my power to maintain that illusion. I go to a university with rigorous academics and many activities/clubs, so my friends here are incredibly busy and don't have much time or energy to devote to analyzing my eating, which I am grateful for. My roommate is my best friend and so sweet, and I know if she found out then I would be forced to recover. Luckily, neither of us are in our apartment except to sleep due to school, jobs, and classes, so it's really easy to avoid mealtimes. My boyfriend and I are long-distance during the school year so it's easy to hide restriction then, but we're living together this summer so it's becoming a challenge.
Ok this has gone on way longer than I anticipated so I'll stop here, but please feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to listen to you or talk with. I'm so happy I found a community so accepting and kind :)
[Goal] While I still struggle, my general goal was to be able to wear a swimsuit and not feel constant panic. Today I'm 40lbs lighter than I was last year in this exact place. I still have an end goal, but I'm happy with the progress I've made so far
/u/throwaway002300 [25 | 5'3" | CW 115 | BMI 20.4| GW 105| HW 160]
Created: Sat Jul 1 11:42:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kobyc/while_i_still_struggle_my_general_goal_was_to_be/
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https://i.redd.it/595t3w7pp07z.jpg
[Goal] While I still struggle, my general goal was to be able to wear a swimsuit and not feel constant panic. Today I'm 40lbs lighter than I was last year in this exact place. While I'm not at my gw, I'm happy with the progress I've made so far
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 11:14:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ko6eg/while_i_still_struggle_my_general_goal_was_to_be/
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https://i.redd.it/bj871hhuk07z.jpg
[Goal] While I still struggle, my general goal was to be able to wear a swimsuit and not feel constant panic. This is 40lbs lighter than I was last year in this exact place. I'm not at my gw but I'm happy with the progress I've made so far
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 11:11:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ko5s8/while_i_still_struggle_my_general_goal_was_to_be/
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https://i.redd.it/2ig857nak07z.jpg
[Help] Does swimming really only burn 500 an hour?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Sat Jul 1 10:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ko00f/does_swimming_really_only_burn_500_an_hour/
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I know it depends on your weight and how much you do and blahblah. But I was swimming laps really fast and getting way more tired sooner than I would running that distance. I can burn a 1000 calories running an hour (fast with purpose) and I find it hard to believe swimming is only 500.
[Rant/Rave] Can't I have an in between?
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 10:40:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6knz7y/cant_i_have_an_in_between/
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So after my "come to Jesus" talk with my dietician I've been having huge urges to binge instead of just not really wanting food. I live in the south so it's hot af down here and that just destroys my appetite and that's what I've been working with lately. Having this non-hunger driven binge urge just makes shit harder.
I'm holding on to hope that I'm stronger than that because I have protein bars within reach (which often turn into mini binges) and I have no intent on touching them. So there's that.
I'm also in this place of "ok maybe I should just go back to following my meal plan" versus my fear of following my meal plan= binging. I have a ballpark of what my weight might be, but since I don't know for sure I don't want to just "settle" knowing I still have some wiggle room. I just looked at recent pictures and I look huge to me and healthy if I put myself in an objective mindset. Why the fuck would I need to gain in that case?
Ugh. This blows.
[Help] In Need of diagnosis?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 10:38:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6knyve/in_need_of_diagnosis/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else have overweight family memebers?
/u/Biebercel [BMI: 18.8 | GW: Thin]
Created: Sat Jul 1 10:33:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kny1n/anyone_else_have_overweight_family_memebers/
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Everyone else in my family is overweight, i was always the thinnest person in my family by a long shot, i dont know why i didnt end up like them, but they certainly didnt teach me any good eating habbits, my mom bought only unhealthy food pretty much, i even remember my middle school teacher complaining to my mom that the lunches she packed me were unhealthy, and that i rarely ate my lunch anyways
I still dont feel thin enough though, i feel life half the people i see are much thinner than me
[Rant/Rave] im taking ephedra pills
/u/TheGreatMastermind [5'4 | 121 | 21 | (lowest 108), gained 13 lbs >:^( | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 09:43:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6knno7/im_taking_ephedra_pills/
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i blame its always sunny (the episode where the gang goes to a psychologist and dennis admits he's drugging mac) for letting me discover ephedra pills
did some cursory research and found a (somewhat?) reliable brand and bought a bottle for $40. came after 3-5 days.
i got a brand called "black mamba hyper rush" and boy this stuff lowkey highkey works. the comeup makes me kinda nauseous/lighheaded, sweaty, and i can feel my heart palpitating, but after an hour, it's like i downed a cup of long-lasting coffee bc i had energy to focus and work the whole day and not even THINK about food. like, I got offered food so many times and normally it would be a struggle for me to decline it, but taking the pills I genuinely did not feel like i needed to eat.
also dunno if this means much but i ate around 400-500 calories and i burned 1,800 (according to my fitbit lmao) and i weighed myself this morning and i lost 2 pounds. could be water weight tho
I'm stuck in a binge cycle and I think I'm self sabotaging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 09:19:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6knj31/im_stuck_in_a_binge_cycle_and_i_think_im_self/
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[deleted]
[Humor] Mildly Interesting posted this: This restaurant has a sink specifically for barfing
/u/welpthatreallysucks [♀ 5'4" | ⚖ 205 | -31lbs| 🇨🇦]
Created: Sat Jul 1 09:08:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kngtu/mildly_interesting_posted_this_this_restaurant/
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https://i.redd.it/z3efx6xy9x6z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] "You actually didn't eat that much though"
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| 22.29 | GW: 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 08:26:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kn90x/you_actually_didnt_eat_that_much_though/
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I went on a trip yesterday to Ieper (Yepres), Belgium from London, meaning I had to sit for 13 hours on a coach with two of my friends.
I haven't been logging recently because I'm a fool, but I probably ate around 2000 in junk food.
We were talking about what we would do when we got home and some said they'd eat something and go to sleep when they went home and I complained that I had eaten so much and both girls agreed that I had barely eaten all day when I had:
- Around 500g of red grapes
- A large orange
- 2 roll packs of wine gums
- Homemade calorie dense biscuits
- Fancy Belgian biscuit things (Crakini)
- 1 and a half bottles of Coke Zero vanilla
- 2 Cheesestrings
Then, on the way back
- A few handfuls of Ritz kids crackers
- A full pack of Sour Patch Kids
Thankfully they agreed it was all junk and the Coke was filling so they left me alone but shit my head was spinning; how can someone eat all of that as snacks??
[Discussion] Some thoughts
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Sat Jul 1 08:14:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kn6vq/some_thoughts/
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Disclaimer: I'm not trying to single anyone out or shame anyone for their bodies or their disordered thoughts, I'm just getting out some feelings
So this post is inspired a few of the recent selfie threads i've read. Generally, I really love those threads and find that it's nice to see all of your faces, rather than just usernames. I've started noticing though a troubling (?) trend of comments glorifying visibly sick bodies. I understand that not everyone with an ED has the same body type, and that body type is not necessarily indicative of the severity of the disorder, but I'm not sure that calling users inspirational for their illness is helpful to anyone.
I know that this sub allows thinspo posts (which I quite enjoy from time to time), but to me it's different when the subject of the image is:
1. self-admittantly suffering from mental illness
2. being directly encouraged by commenters
I'm not sure that any of this makes much sense, or if I'm over-reacting. Have any of you noticed this too? What do you think? Am I being silly or nah?
Idk, let me know
[Help] Help me get back in the swing of things
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 07:42:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kn142/help_me_get_back_in_the_swing_of_things/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Can you just be normal for a few days? Rave
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 06:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kmtk9/can_you_just_be_normal_for_a_few_days_rave/
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Going on vacation with the husband and kids today to Hershey Park. As if that's not stressful enough, my fucking in laws are coming.
An hour or so into the drive my husband says "so you didn't weigh yourself today? Does that mean you're going to be normal for the next few days?"
[Rant/Rave] Kind of a gross rant. Poop involved.
/u/CatchTheWhale
Created: Sat Jul 1 06:27:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kmpst/kind_of_a_gross_rant_poop_involved/
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All week I've eaten and eaten and eaten and just fuckin shit when I'm not eating. Like I poop more than I ever have. I keep thinking "HOW CAN I HAVE THIS MUCH SHIT" then "OH YEAH I KEEP FUCKIN EATING"
I don't know why I'm eating so damn much! My relationship with food is soooo unhealthy like I either eat way too much or just try not to eat at all. Any attempt I've ever made to "eat healthily" or diet I've always just lost interest.
But anyway I'm getting really tired of being on the damn toilet. Ugh.
[Discussion] How to tell your SO you've been diagnosed?
/u/adrienneirda [In recovery - feeling too fat to say]
Created: Sat Jul 1 06:25:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kmpkx/how_to_tell_your_so_youve_been_diagnosed/
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Hi all,
So last week I was officially diagnosed with Anorexia. I've been thinking about telling my boyfriend for months what's going on with me but you all know how it goes. You don't want to let anyone in because they'll worry and harass you to eat and such. But he's my boyfriend and he lets me know what's up with his mental health and tells me I can always do the same. I'm tired of lying to him about this.
So, what's the best way to tell your SO you have an eating disorder?
[Discussion] DAE have a history of gallstones/pancreatitis?
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 06:15:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kmo4v/dae_have_a_history_of_gallstonespancreatitis/
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Hey, not asking for medical advice here or for comments that tell me to see my doctor.
Just wondering if any of you have ever had gallstones or pancreatitis because of your ED? It's relatively uncommon for gallstones to happen in young, thin people with no other medical conditions, but it's been known to happen when malnutrition --> "re-nutrition" occurs.
I have some vague pains that I think may be due to gallstones/pancreatitis but I'm just being stupid and holding off going to the doctor's because it'll cost me money.
Thanks!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! July 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 1 06:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kmnhs/daily_food_diary_july_01_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 01, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! July 01, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 1 06:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kmngd/stupid_questions_saturday_july_01_2017/
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This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for July 01, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] Kinda doubt you ate that.
/u/Zanovia
Created: Sat Jul 1 05:33:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kmilw/kinda_doubt_you_ate_that/
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Super duper petty post incoming, but is it bad that it kinda ticks me off when you have people that are super skinny and pretend that do nothing but eat the most unhealthy food? Like I see this all the time in Instagram (in fact Aerin Creer, as much as I love her Instagram inspired this) where you have these tiny girls pretending they eat crazy amounts of food with no excerise all the time. Like I don't doubt they eat it sometimes, or you can get some pretty impressive meals in if you eat once a day. But breakfast lunch and dinner? Don't make laugh. As someone who knows exactly how to fake this, I dislike their perpeutation of the super metabolism myth that you see people waving about in the comments of these photos. Maybe I'm touchy because I've had to do this get people off my back and keep them from freaking about my eating. Then again some of these girls could be in there very same boat only with their followers and just want people to stop scrutinizing everything they eat too. Hmmmm.
[Other] A rare find for me
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Sat Jul 1 03:37:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6km5dx/a_rare_find_for_me/
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https://i.redd.it/xqeq96d7by6z.jpg
'You're a bottomless pit'
/u/Dietfuckingcoke [5ft4 | CW 118.8 lbs | BMI 20.3 | GW 112 lbs | 52.2 lbs lost | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 03:33:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6km4yy/youre_a_bottomless_pit/
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I was at a work thing last night and there was a pizza buffet. Buffets are the worst for me and of course one slice turned in to many. An overweight coworker called me a bottomless pit and was like how are you so skinny. She brought her own food of pasta AND cous cous (how is that even better than pizza!?) coz she's 'dieting' Little does she know I'll only be eating pickles today lol.
[Rant/Rave] Cramping from aloe has been keeping me up for the last hour
/u/Profeshed
Created: Sat Jul 1 01:50:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kltvp/cramping_from_aloe_has_been_keeping_me_up_for_the/
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Soooo I was given aloe Vera pills to help aid my crappy digestion from a lady I went to for a colonic a little while ago. Thinking this was an all natural digestion aid, I went about and threw away all of my dulcolax--no more abusing laxatives for me!! I was going to just get my digestion back on track. The aloe bottle says to stop if you start getting cramps or diarrhea, and I've definitely been noticing a little bit of that because I'd been taking one per day for the last week. Well, tonight after I got home, I was all bloated from dinner so I popped another, which must have triggered the one from last night because I felt a little nauseated and within about 10 min I was having lying on the bathroom floor cramps and bad diarrhea. So today, I totally just realized that I've still been abusing laxatives and I've totally been in denial about this. Lolllllllll. And oww, but at least this will pass. I'm only saving these for emergencies from now on. This cramping is 10x worse than dulcolax. I'm kind of laughing at myself so please feel free to laugh with me.
Tbh what's sadly ironic is that the best (most effective/least painful) laxatives I've ever had were eating tons of plums or cherries............
[Help] i binged
/u/z0boe [167cm |CW: 53kg |GW: 50kg|UGW:47kg|-15kg|]
Created: Sat Jul 1 01:42:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6klssq/i_binged/
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i binged so hard today. I came out of a 39h fast and had the biggest binge of my whole life. Not even joking- I didn't count but it was 3200cal easy. This whole month has been binge city. How do I stop, I'm sick of this shit. I've only got 5kg (11lbs) left to lose. How do I stop binging? I just can't see my way out of this.
[Help] Help! I'm 60 hours into my fast and I feel weak, faint and generally terrible. Should I stop it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 1 01:40:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6klsn3/help_im_60_hours_into_my_fast_and_i_feel_weak/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] When it's hard to restrict
/u/MidnightBlueFox [5'5 | CW: 136lbs | BMI: 23 | -14lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 01:10:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6klp42/when_its_hard_to_restrict/
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I'm pretty frustrated.
A bit of backstory: My boyfriend goes to school near me, but his home/family is 6 hours away.
During the last year I gained 15lbs from just eating out with him all the time. Don't get wrong, he's so amazing and makes me actually feel okay about eating. He makes me feel beautiful and safe. But I gained like crazy.
He went back home for two months and while he was gone I ate really well and restricted myself down 10 pounds. Now he's back for one month, to pack up his apartment and tie things up before his lease ends in 30 days.
Lord help me, in the first 24 hours with me he has already bought mcdonalds AND a pizza.
And I ate both.
He leaves soon again and I will have an easier time managing my weight. I just feel so disgusted with myself right now. I feel gross.
Gah. To add onto that drama, now my family and I are traveling to my grandparents for the weekend. I will be under scrutiny of my parents and watched to make sure I eat my grandmas food. No restricting for this weekend.. I don't know how I will survive :(
[Thinspo] back inspo
/u/reallynuggie
Created: Sat Jul 1 01:10:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6klp3v/back_inspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/pvqpE
[Other] binge night vs the rest of the week
/u/cupcakeinvestigator
Created: Sat Jul 1 00:41:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6klldq/binge_night_vs_the_rest_of_the_week/
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http://imgur.com/a/FShx4
[Discussion] July Goals
/u/IWillNotHealYou [5'10" | ☣️ | -92.6 lb | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 00:15:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kli9q/july_goals/
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It's that time again! This has become a monthly thing for me, and although I didn't do great last month, I still feel good about what I accomplished. What all do you guys have planned to do this month?
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] my boyfriend is a saint and I am unworthy
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 1 00:10:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6klhjf/rantrave_my_boyfriend_is_a_saint_and_i_am_unworthy/
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I recently moved to Southeast Asia and I don't speak the language here at all. With my social anxiety this makes it really difficult for me to order food, and the first week I was waking up at all hours feeling light headed and my heart racing. I've never really had a boyfriend who's actually cared about me, my last boyfriend beat me with a belt, so I didn't expect much out of my current boyfriend not through any fault of his own but simply because I don't trust people or know what a real relationship looks like. But, he's an absolute saint. He knows I often won't eat without him, and he'll always take me out and order food for me. If we fight, even if I'm a total witch to him, he'll show up on my doorstep with food for me. I've never had anyone care so much about me.
He's going out of town this weekend and we both know I won't eat while he's gone and it somehow feels like I'm a huge disappointment. He's even offered to have his friends bring me food. All his hard work to save me from myself is being wasted because maybe I can't be saved. He deserves someone who can take care of herself and isn't perpetually self-destructing. Someone like that shouldn't love someone like me.
[Rant/Rave] It finally happened. My mom ate the food I was saving for a binge.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" ☀️ CW 151 ☀️ -14 ☀️ veg ☀️ 🍑 tryingwithmarkers]
Created: Fri Jun 30 23:49:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kleqr/it_finally_happened_my_mom_ate_the_food_i_was/
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I love my mom but I found the vegan hot dog brand i love in this ONE store an hour away so I bought 3 packages for $6 each, 8 hot dogs per package.
I binged on an entire package the day I got them cause I hadn't had them in over a year. The next day I ate 6. Today I couldn't find the last two so I opened the last package. Well tonight I come home and my mom is like "yeah I made [sister] sandwiches" and I ask to try a bite and there's one left.... SHE USED MY HOT DOGS TO MAKE THE SANDWICHES. Now there's two fucking hot dogs left and I want to cry I'm so angry. What the hell is wrong with me???? I just want to eat my damn expensive hot dogs
[Other] I'm still here kinda
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Fri Jun 30 23:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kle61/im_still_here_kinda/
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I haven't been on here a while but ever since I had that grand mal seizure I've been in a loop of denial, fear and anxiety and IDK IDC-ness?
After my talk with my psych and the fear he put in me that one of these days my seizures may put me in vegetable form (gulp)....
I've just hit the ground and kept on running. I'm doing...well and I'm excited and anxious and happy? about my whole new grad RN thing going on.
Sure I still doubt myself every day and sure I hate myself like no other but fuck, I'm still here and I'm feeling alright.
I still purge daily and I've gotten more confirmation that yes it was actually an actual grand mal (lost consciousness, turned pale, hospital had to call a rapid response team on me, muscles jerking and all that etc) because I've kind of thought HEY SYNCOPE LOL NO BIGGIE
wat even is the point of this post? I just want to say I'm still here but one of these days I'm gonna have to love myself more
At this point my life is on the precipiece of something good, and something I feel like I can feel accomplished in.
My body physically has felt odd--I've been getting hives so often (and I never do), I am hyperaware of any visual disturbances but I'm thankful still here.
I want to keep coming to this community although sometimes I feel like taking a break away from this place is a positive change.
Also I have animal crossing now so LOL wat are real friends when I can talk to fuckin animals
[Other] Low calorie food haul!!
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 23:36:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kld05/low_calorie_food_haul/
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http://i.imgur.com/kez2BQk.jpg
Trying to decide if I should not eat, or eat a little bit and then purge.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 30 22:23:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kl21d/trying_to_decide_if_i_should_not_eat_or_eat_a/
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[deleted]
[Help] Preventing Binges and Salty Foods
/u/gothshit [5"4 | SW 180 lbs | CW 142 lbs | GW 125 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 22:02:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kkyoj/preventing_binges_and_salty_foods/
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Hey guys, recently I've been running in w/ the binge component of my disorder. I haven't had a real problem w/ binging for years, but recently I just can't help it. Usually it's cravings for salty food, but once I eat something high in sodium, I can't stop eating. I'll just eat anything that I can find, whether it's salty or not.
* Do you guys have any suggestions of low cal salty foods?
* How do u prevent a massive binge before it happens?
ty<3
[Help] I'm not worthy of food.
/u/crochetyhooker [5'8" | CW 187 |BMI 28 | 11lbs lost | Female]
Created: Fri Jun 30 22:02:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kkyl7/im_not_worthy_of_food/
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**warning** self critical, self hate.
I spent 13 days behaving so well, saw such good results and felt so fab. Then I allowed binging to sneak back in. That's resulted in purging because I feel disgusting and over full. I'd much rather abstain from food entirely than purge. The only enjoyment I get out of it is negating the binge.
I'm going camping this weekend. I'm going to use that time to refocus on my goals and come up with a new game plan. Throw some 'spo at me if you please! Stories, pics, vids, anything <3
[Discussion] [Discussion] favorite 0-cal things?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 101 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 21:29:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kkt8y/discussion_favorite_0cal_things/
---
I know lots of people have their 0 cal drink of choice, but what about food/snack items? Mine are: peach fresca, diet cherry coke, shirataki noodles, and these strawberry flavored Japanese hard candies that I don't know the name of. What about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] I think I just won
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Fri Jun 30 20:52:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kkn9c/i_think_i_just_won/
---
Im a food addict.
I cant have 'just one' slice of pizza.
I will NEVER find the bottom of the box, if i do.
Tonight, I served pizza to my teens and had NONE.
#winning
For the record, I did eat 400cals today, mostly protein so dont freak. I also went in to the kitchen repeatedly to get something to eat to keep the fam off my back. That worked.
Thanks for being my listening board.
[Rant/Rave] Day 5 of fast complete. Today was hard.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 30 20:47:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kkmd4/day_5_of_fast_complete_today_was_hard/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fucking self-sabotage, Batman
/u/RandomHumanite [5'1" | 26F (???)]
Created: Fri Jun 30 20:10:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kkg0y/fucking_selfsabotage_batman/
---
Am having amazing week. Have had nothing but tea today.
Go to dinner with friends; have 1/2 pint mashed potatoes (214 cals per internet) + 2 tbsp bbq sauce. (with hot sauce and pepper). Let's say 300 calories.
Freak out, try to purge (in a parking lot, mind you), get a little bit out, then immediately proceed to go to grocery store, grab soy "ice cream", and shove a spoon into it and start shoveling it into my fucking trash face.
I guess I'm going running on my injured foot tomorrow morning.
I'm the biggest self-sabotager out there.
[Other] I'm too fat to see people. I haven't seen anyone but my boyfriend for weeks
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1.5" | cw 161 | gw 145 | -8]
Created: Fri Jun 30 20:08:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kkfor/im_too_fat_to_see_people_i_havent_seen_anyone_but/
---
I'm unemployed. I play video games all day and try not to eat. I've been binging for months
-wow so as I was writing this I found out a friend I haven't seen in years is coming over tonight. I didn't know that's what was happening but its pretty appropriate that it happened while I'm writing this.
So this was going to be about how I miss my friends but the last time I saw a friend for the first time in a while, they were shocked when they saw me, and my weight is the only different thing. Way different in the bad direction. So now I'm going to hide all night because even though I miss people it breaks my heart when they see me and look shocked and then look kind of sorry for me. the pain of not seeing them is not half as bad as that.
[Humor] Feeling personally attacked right now
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 19:22:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kk7q6/feeling_personally_attacked_right_now/
---
https://i.redd.it/i8xzwmjsuv6z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I smelled food all day!
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -19 lb]
Created: Fri Jun 30 19:03:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kk4ii/i_smelled_food_all_day/
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Ok so first day at my new job. It's a touristy fun area with food and games, etc. and I'm basically a greeter. I'm on my feet and walking all day which is bomb! BUT it's right next to a pizza place. I smelled pizza and garlic bread literally all day. **All damn day.** And I didn't once crave pizza! I appreciated the smell but it didn't make me want any because I knew I didn't have the calories for it. Also because I'm flat broke lol.
And I got to tell them I need a small shirt!
I am worried about what will happen when I *do* have money. Lord help me. Pizza, sushi, starbucks. ;_;7
[Other] Looking at the bright side of binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 30 18:26:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjxys/looking_at_the_bright_side_of_binging/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I always feel terrible
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Fri Jun 30 18:26:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjxwq/i_always_feel_terrible/
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If I binge, I feel terrible because I hate myself and because the carbs wreak holy hell on me.
If I restrict, I feel terrible because I'm bored and hungry and have a perpetual headache.
[Help] About to go to NYC with family and not sure what to do
/u/nycthrowaway51
Created: Fri Jun 30 18:16:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjw5e/about_to_go_to_nyc_with_family_and_not_sure_what/
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Hi everyone, I'm leaving on a 4 day trip to NYC with my family tomorrow and I don't really know what to do. Over the past few weeks I've been (trying) to eat around or less than 1000 calories a day, though because my self control is horrible I've only lost about 5 pounds. Lately though I've been doing fairly well and am at 90 pounds.
The trip will be a problem though, because we'll be going to a bunch of restaurants and my family will get suspicious if they see me not eating that much. My sister has already asked me twice if I'm anorexic and threatened to tell my parents if I said yes. I'm considering just letting myself enjoy food during the trip and going back to restricting after it, though I'm kinda scared that I'll gain more weight than I expected and/or struggle to go back to my previous eating habits. What should I do?
[Humor] Me at my lowest weight denying I was anorexic LOL
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 113 | 19.4 | -2| Woman]
Created: Fri Jun 30 18:09:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjujn/me_at_my_lowest_weight_denying_i_was_anorexic_lol/
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https://i.redd.it/ta1wx2auhv6z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] working with habits! :)
/u/antkings [20.1 | plant boy]
Created: Fri Jun 30 18:03:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjths/working_with_habits/
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this is probably stupid but I'm really happy because I always do soooo well during the day and hardly eat more than 300-400 calories, but then I'll come home and eaaaaat. I've been beating myself up FOREVER about binging when I get home, but it's such a bodily HABIT now that it seems impossible to stop. soooo.... instead of trying to fight the binge, I just REDIRECT the binge. instead of whipped cream or chips or cereal or bread (I know omg) I eat the same healthy things I do during the day time. binging on carrots and sriracha barbecue sauce.... just as satisfying, almost always less than 100 calories. this is probably super stupid that I haven't figured this out before, but it just always felt like "well if I eat anything I'm a failure and a loser and if I can't control myself...." but now I let myself binge... on healthy stuff! plus, it's really hard to eat shitton of peppers or onions or romaine or celery. anyway, this has been my rave-- I'm learning to work with my habits instead of punishing myself for them :)
[Rant/Rave] Day has been made!
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:~185lbs | CW: 151.4lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 17:47:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjql7/day_has_been_made/
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https://i.redd.it/0i1ybguxdv6z.jpg
My day has been made!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 30 17:45:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjqa4/my_day_has_been_made/
---
https://i.redd.it/0rcz532odv6z.jpg
[Other] Not farewell, but fair enough
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 78 lbs | 14.89 | -24ish | f]
Created: Fri Jun 30 17:42:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjpj7/not_farewell_but_fair_enough/
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I'm writing this from the hospital for the second time this month.
However, this time, my heart nearly failed.
I'm seventeen and i nearly had a heart attack. I had the dreaded long QT interval, that leads to the dreaded torse de pointes, and from there, death.
So, i think it's time i laid down my arms.
These arms, anyway.
I'm putting down the daggers i aimed at myself and picking up my sword to banish this demon that's taken me over.
I wish you all luck and good fortune in whatever you endevour.
I'm ready now.
...Wellllll maybe not ready. But this is it. This is the moment in my life where the universe is screaming for me to stop, and i have to pick whether that means to stop living for to stop binging and purging.
I weigh 78 lbs now. About as much as when i was eleven.
With any luck, i never will again.
I'm shooting for 88 lbs (my first ever goal of gaining). No time limits. No kicking my own ass.
I'm going to out of the fire this time.
Thank you for being here, all of you, and for the love and support i've got here. While the experience of an eating disorder is a dangerous one, your care was a healing one (though i anticipate, and accept, that i may be back soon to rant about my binges and my thighs and my stomach, to purge myself of my little slip ups). This is the safest place i've ever been, and the only caring community i've ever wished to not belong in.
much love to you all <3
Lunar is coming back to earth.
[Discussion] DAE get raging post-purge hunger?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 30 17:28:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjmwx/dae_get_raging_postpurge_hunger/
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[deleted]
[Other] aaand this is what I get for commenting on ED related things outside of this sub. All from the same user.
/u/diedawhileago [5'5 1/2 | 122 | 20.1 | -108 lbs! | 17f]
Created: Fri Jun 30 17:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjjpk/aaand_this_is_what_i_get_for_commenting_on_ed/
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http://i.imgur.com/dt7qGgo.jpg
[Other] My low calorie breakfast recipes list, with pictures!
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |113.2 | -106.8 | GW: 110 | UGW:100 | 20A]
Created: Fri Jun 30 16:47:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kjf1t/my_low_calorie_breakfast_recipes_list_with/
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Okay y'all, here's a list of a few regular breakfast recipes that I use in my day to day life. Most of these can be easily altered for whatever your current caloric desires are. It's not too long, but I'll be adding to the list as time goes on so if you're interested save this post and check back from time to time for updates.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Mhuygr2dXrffhiim5UhvkzKukRYPpasNlsdiuEBCSyQ/edit?usp=sharing
I'll be posting my grocery spreadsheet soon too; I just have to figure out how to let you guys add items and edit it since I know there are a bunch of things that I forgot/don't know about/don't have access to. It's a fairly US-centric list/cuz that's where I live, lol/ and I want everyone here to be able to edit it so that it can be tailored for everyone's experience.
The next list of recipes I post will either be fast food inspired or east asian, depending on what you guys would prefer. Let me know!
[Humor] Damn it Facebook ads.
/u/GetToTheStore
Created: Fri Jun 30 14:53:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kiqto/damn_it_facebook_ads/
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https://i.redd.it/96b2zxwuiu6z.jpg
[Help] How to give the illusion of eating more?
/u/burner40 [5'6'' | CW: 122.4 | BMI: 20.13 | GW: 101 | NB]
Created: Fri Jun 30 14:52:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kiqow/how_to_give_the_illusion_of_eating_more/
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Hi, new poster here first of all.
I've recently run into the problem of fielding unpleasant/unwelcome comments due to the size of my portions at family gatherings, cookouts whatever. My extended family doesn't eat very healthfully and so I take very small portions at meals because I'm not about that 1000 calorie in one sitting life. This unfortunately results in my relatives grilling me over how much food I choose to eat/ how my body needs more "nourishment."(It doesn't need nourishment in the form of chips and greasy bacon, I trust myself to make good decisions with my own food and I restrict to 600 cal/day). So I was wondering how you guys "stretch out" your food to give the appearance of eating more over a longer period of time, as opposed to being done with my much smaller portion 10 minutes into the meal.
Sorry if this is at all rambly or violates any sub rules.
[Rant/Rave] That was not what I expected...
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 14:36:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kimz8/that_was_not_what_i_expected/
---
So I haven't weighed myself in 2 ish weeks and yesterday I moved my scale into my new place so I couldn't check it before my dietician appointment today. I had a small snack before going so I figured I'd be fine.
Oh shit no. She said I'm close to going on weight restoration. Restore to what?!?! I'm miles away from being underweight! Restore to fat? Hell no!
I got away with saying my baseline activity increased and that I have a tendency to "forget" snacks, which I guess was a positive. But fuck. If I even stayed at 126, I dropped 14 lbs in like 2 months. Not a huge deal. When I dropped 20 in the same amount of time in college and got to my low weight, no one gave a shit. Ugh.
I really don't want to weight restore. At least I don't have to worry about being called fat today anymore.
[Help] I'm slightly freaking out over a new medication I'm supposed to start, can anyone give their experience if they've taken it?
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F 🚬]
Created: Fri Jun 30 13:57:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kie5r/im_slightly_freaking_out_over_a_new_medication_im/
---
I saw my neurologist today and he wants me to start on beta blockers as a migraine preventative. So of course the first thing I do when I leave is go online and read up on the medication and I thoroughly *freak myself the fuck out*.
Apparently beta blockers are known to cause weight gain - not just in a can increase your appetite way, but in an actual decrease your metabolism and how your body burns energy and stores fat way. I read about a million stories of people who were on them and gained weight while claiming not to have changed their eating habits and FUCK. I'm panicking.
I also have concerns with getting lightheaded from standing and how beta blockers may exacerbate that, since they lower your blood pressure -- but naturally I'm focusing on this right now.
I know I'm an adult and nobody can force me to take a medication but I would feel like such a fucking idiot if I refused something that would actually help this *actual real life problem* in my life because I was afraid of gaining weight.
Which I am.
Help?
[Rant/Rave] I gained 15 pounds.
/u/Four_Names [5'6"|CW 137|BMI 22.2| -33.9| F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 13:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ki5q8/i_gained_15_pounds/
---
Sorry, this is gonna be a pointless whiny post but I'm fucking devastated and this is the only place I can turn to.
I've been in a bad restrict-binge-purge cycle for the past 5-6 months now. I swore to myself after I'd gotten into the 130's that I would never touch 150 again. I got within 2 lbs of my soft goal weight and binged up to 146.7, about 10 lbs up from my low and decided to start fasting. It worked for a while and I got down to about 139 again. That was in April right before prom. After that I ate a little less indiscriminately as mom caught on and gained some. Figured I might try to recover a little, right? Make my life a little less governed by food? But the carnival came into town a few weeks ago and I decided to give myself a good cheat day... That turned into 3 cheat weeks. I've been solely eating carbs and sugar and purging 2-3 times daily. I'd been avoiding the scale because I knew it wouldn't be good. I've been failing all my body checks and I've just been hoping it's because the weather is hotter and that tends to make me swell up. But I jumped on the scale and gained 15. Fucking. Pounds. I'm 152. I want to crawl in a hole and die.
I hate how many excuses I make for myself. I legitimately look in the mirror and can't believe it's gotten this bad, I thought I was 5, maybe 10 lbs MAX away from my low. I got smaller than I thought and felt bigger than I do now. I'm hoping that part of it is that I had a mini binge right before bed, and all of that is still in my body and contributes to the number on the scale. I thought I might be water weight before, but I was being naive and it's just fat. I haven't used my scale since late April so maybe it needs calibration??? Maybe I'm making excuses for myself??????
I'm not going to eat for two days. No one is allowed to touch me before I get back to >140. I don't even want to be aware that I have a body anymore. I'll come back when I have some self control.
[Rant/Rave] I think I'm at my lowest weight since middle school...
/u/13959470 [5'4" | 109.4 | 18.8 | ~30 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 13:11:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ki3em/i_think_im_at_my_lowest_weight_since_middle_school/
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I reached 109.4 today. Completely caught me off guard. 110 or below has been my GW for about a year, and I've been stuck hovering between 114-118 for months. My second GW is 105 so i'm super close, anything below that would be frightening/magical. I don't necessarily think I look much different, but the number is what makes me feel happy. I feel very much in control, and dare I say confident? It's a bittersweet, lonesome accomplishment. So I'm drinking a celebratory glass of milk and hoping for the best of mental and physical health to you.
[Discussion] Reducing Muscle Loss
/u/datmanateelife
Created: Fri Jun 30 13:02:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ki16y/reducing_muscle_loss/
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On mobile, please flair as discussion.
So, I've recently realized that much of my weight loss may be a loss of muscle mass, and I want to reduce damage by meeting my minimum protein needs and doing weight training 2-3 times per week.
That said... I'm really scared that I won't be able to meet my goals if I do that. I've lost ten lbs in four weeks by restricting, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to maintain that anymore with this new "plan". Like, part of me wants to be healthy, but the other screaming part of me just wants to lose as much as possible.
And I know that it's not healthy to lose as quickly as I have been, but the idea of changing has my anxiety flying through the roof. Hell, I broke into sobs the other night because I had to eat an extra 200 calories because dinner plans changed. I feel like a genuine freak.
How do you all deal with this? Do you have any advice/words of comfort?
[Discussion] What are your "safe" foods?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:126lbs | GW: 112lbs | -15 lbs | F20]
Created: Fri Jun 30 12:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6khz0x/what_are_your_safe_foods/
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What are the foods you eat that you feel comfortable eating a ton of? I am looking for some variation from my own safe foods.
My safe foods:
Cauliflower
Air popped popcorn
Watermelon
Most melons/berries
Celery
Lettuce/Salad with apple cider vinegar dressing
Mustard
Hot sauce
Salsa
I am mostly vegan and really try to avoid processed foods. Hot sauce and occasional bagged popcorn is probably the most processed I get)
[Tip] Some harm reduction tips you might not be aware of
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 11:58:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6khlqr/some_harm_reduction_tips_you_might_not_be_aware_of/
---
I just want to share these in case anyone benefits from them. They are some tips I've recently found out about, and they help me a lot.
1. ~~Brush your teeth **before** meals, especially if you plan to eat something sugary or acidic. This has really helped my teeth because I have a huge affinity for sour foods. Brushing before eating helps to build your enamel up beforehand, so that way it prevents more breakdown from sugar and acid.~~ I was actually wrong about this one. Sorry!
2. When you have an intense craving, try to mentally break that food down into its tastes and macros, and then make a healthier/cheaper meal that mimics that. For example, when I'm craving expensive takeout safe food that costs $7 per 100 calories (which is fucking expensive for me), I stop and think about how what I really want is something that tastes a certain way and has high protein and carbs. Then I try my best to make a meal that mimics those qualities, even if the ingredients are completely different.
3. Idk bout y'all, but exercise other than calm walking just makes me hungry, and I end up eating everything I burn off and then some. So what I've been doing lately is walking to a local mart more often to get zero cal drinks and stuff. So it's more of a preventative lifestyle change thing.
4. When you binge or overeat, try to look back at recent deficit days - even though overeating always sucks, it helps me not decide to purge or restrict in response because I can see that it only set me back a few days or whatever (instead of a few thousand pounds like it feels like, amirite U gaiz? #edprallimz (sorry)).
5. If you haven't already, try intermittent fasting. This eating style has helped me SO much.
6. When you really want to binge, try to eat low-cal foods that taste good but make you feel sick in large quantities. Like, one of those foods for me is pickled hot cherry peppers. Something I've done recently is slice up a cucumber and topped each slice with a pepper slice - after eating one or two cucumber's worth of those, I feel too nauseous to eat anymore. Yes, it's like 200 cals, but that's better than 2000.
I think that's all I have for now. I hope some of you find these helpful. <3
[Discussion] DAE experience severe ED symptoms when they shouldn't?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Fri Jun 30 11:33:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6khfmn/dae_experience_severe_ed_symptoms_when_they/
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I experience this whenever I fast for a day. I'm always relying on the scale to tell me how I should be feeling (kinda fucked up ik) and since I'm still fat I should be just bouncing off the walls with all this stored energy, right? No. I'm still like 12 lbs away from a decent weight and I'm getting extremely cold, feelings of frail bones, generalized weakness, achy teeth, etc. I feel like it must be in my head or something.
[Help] Does anyone else get super light headed after purging?
/u/wildstylemeth0d
Created: Fri Jun 30 10:55:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kh6py/does_anyone_else_get_super_light_headed_after/
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How can I fix it? I'm at work and have a long night out ahead of me. I feel super cloudy headed and weak.
[Rant/Rave] This is a desperate post
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 10:42:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kh3ku/this_is_a_desperate_post/
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I feel like I'm going to have to live with this fucked up relationship with food forever.
I've been gaining weight via bingeing and I don't know if I'm depressed because I'm bingeing or bingeing because I'm depressed but either way I don't know how to keep living like this.
I'm considering not returning to my masters program but I have no other plan for my life except to obsess about food constantly.
[Other] Anticipating being judged as fat after losing weight
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 10:13:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kgwz4/anticipating_being_judged_as_fat_after_losing/
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I'm meeting up with a friend today at her family's house and I know her family is hella fucking judgmental about size. It's been a while since I saw her, and I've lost about 15 ish lbs since then. But because I know I'm still within normal weight range I'm petrified that I'll get a passing comment that I'm super fat and need to lose weight (just for reference, social norms are not really followed by the family and making what most consider rude comments about someone's figure is the norm).
Like I know I still need to lose weight, but i think 15 lbs in 2 months is kind of respectable. Not dramatic, but something. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Do you ever feel just taken for granted all the time?
/u/PeachesFromHeck [5'4" | CW 137lbs | BMI 23.98 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 09:44:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kgq09/do_you_ever_feel_just_taken_for_granted_all_the/
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Sorry for this rant, I just have no where else and I had to get this off my chest. I am in such a bad mood today, really the last couple weeks have been bad. It's like everything gets dumped on me all the time but the moment I ask for help or push back people get so pissy. My SO is working 12-14 hours per day so I am doing the cleaning, the cooking, paying the bills, etc. This morning he slammed a door because I asked him to throw out the coffee filter he'd left in the coffee pot for so long it was molding. After he apologized for overrreacting but made a snippy comment about not having clean clothes to wear this morning. I told him if he wants me to be his maid he should start paying me. And to top it all off, a day or two ago we had an argument because apparently I'm not 'enthusiastic' enough during sex (maybe I would be if I wasn't so upset all the time???).
Just, wtf. I am so fucking sick of being taken for granted by everyone. My SO, my job, my parents. I feel so invisible, like the only option I have is to starve myself and self-destruct. I don't even care about being thin at this point. I just want to be as invisible on the outside as I feel on the inside. Why do I have to be the responsible one all the time? Why do I have be the good daughter? Why can't someone take care of me for a change?
The worst part is I know I can't tell anyone in my life about this because it will just cause fights and nothing will change. I have zero friends (online or IRL) and I am so close to just exploding.
At least with me being upset or depressed absolutely kills my appetite, so there's that I guess.
Face down in the dirt , she says "this doesn't hurt"
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Fri Jun 30 09:38:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kgolg/face_down_in_the_dirt_she_says_this_doesnt_hurt/
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https://i.redd.it/0v6t4yvnys6z.jpg
[Other] My grocery haul looks kinda normal still
/u/welpthatreallysucks [♀ 5'4" | ⚖ 205 | -31lbs| 🇨🇦]
Created: Fri Jun 30 09:20:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kgkqj/my_grocery_haul_looks_kinda_normal_still/
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http://imgur.com/qyv7Y58
[Rant/Rave] Afraid to feel confident now because I know I'll regret it later
/u/_pancaste_ [5'6 | 127 | -21]
Created: Fri Jun 30 08:08:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kg4ug/afraid_to_feel_confident_now_because_i_know_ill/
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I had a whoosh recently, and with the help of daily 2 hour yoga sessions, I've gotten pretty toned. Shifting to a veggie-filled diet has also helped with fat loss.
But I'm fat. I'm still so, so fat. My GW is over 20 pounds away. And If I let myself feel confident now, I'll feel mortified after I lose more weight and realise how horrible I actually looked. Does that make sense?? Like, I'm constantly reminding myself "just because you look good relative to how you looked 10 pounds ago, doesn't mean you look good by any other standard!"
I don't want to embarrass myself. I can't be one of those delusional girls who parades her thunder thighs around in mini skirts, convinced she's the hottest thing ever. I'm not even close.
... Also I have a first date tonight. First date I've been on in over a year, fourth date of my entire life. Help.
[Other] Since people have posted their carts lately, this is the most anorexic mine has ever looked
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW 111 | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 07:21:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kfvh7/since_people_have_posted_their_carts_lately_this/
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http://i.imgur.com/MFPz9lf.jpg
[Intro] July 1st
/u/chocolate_9_T
Created: Fri Jun 30 06:52:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kfq6k/july_1st/
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Hellooooo everyone after lurking around for a while finally decided to come out and say hi :D
I know the way I obsessively think about food is not very typical and normal and I don't want help so I'm so happy I've found a little community here where everyone is so supportive.
I was just thinking how tomorrow is July 1st, and I've basically wasted the last 6 months. I've been pretty much losing and putting on the same couple of pounds and nothing has changed.
On the brightside come 7pm tonight I'm making some changes I've been saying this for the last couple of years of my life and the mental struggle is real ha.
Is anyone else using tomorrow as a fresh new start?
[Humor] "You always leave the kitchen in a mess"
/u/RockinWeasel
Created: Fri Jun 30 06:44:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kfoof/you_always_leave_the_kitchen_in_a_mess/
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My housemate recently got upset and started an argument because apparently I never clean up after myself when I cook. Apparently I leave the hob dirty.
Joke is on her, I haven't cooked anything in my kitchen since January and the only things I have in my part of the fridge is water, diet tonic to go with my gin, salad and 10 cal jelly (jello for americans). None of this is cooked. She is the only person in our house that cooks. All I bloody eat is salad, jelly and cereal (which is at work). If I do eat a real meal it's because I am somewhere else where I am expected to eat. Like a friends house or my BF's.
Unexpected benefit of an ED I guess ;)
(No, she doesn't clean up after herself. But then comes back a day later, sees mess and assumes it can't have been her because she doesn't make mess...)
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] My Psych told me my weight was steady. So I binged.
/u/Porcelainepeony [5'4"| CW: 119 | GW: ≤105 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 06:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kfjlq/rant_my_psych_told_me_my_weight_was_steady_so_i/
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He asked if I had been purging and I told him about the last couple of days, but I also mentioned the serious restriction (and he knows I have an eating disorder and issues with my weight) and he completely blew that off to talk to me about safe sex practices (not in regards to my ED but my birth control being faulty with my anticonvulsants) going on and on about the pull out method in detail even though I told him we used condoms every time. I only have an hour slot and half of it was him lecturing me about a method I said I never used. He also told me that my weight hasn't gone down at all and I just snapped at him, reminded him we agreed not to talk about my weight unless it was a concern, aaaaaaand then when the appointment was over I called to report what happened and be set up with a new psych.
I've been out of my abilify (and trying to get it filled) for a little over a week, and he decided to change my dosage from six to seven mg (two pills are easier to take than three he said) even though I'd discussed with every doctor it wouldn't make a lot of sense to raise the abilify again without first increasing the lamictal. I want to go home so say sure, I haven't had any side effects so I'm not worried about things getting worse, but.... Turns out when they change your dosage your insurance has to review it, and that can take anywhere from a day to over a week. I lost it, I'm manic and I was pissed off!
So, I meet up with my boyfriend aaaaaaand... I smoke weed for the first time in about a week. I ATE EVERYTHING. It's my second day of failure in a row, I wanted to purge but I think my partner noticed and invited me to go and cuddle with him in bed. Well, I fell asleep, then woke up, and just wanted to scream at him for doing that to me. I'd say maybe it was chance, maybe he did just want to cuddle, but he's much smarter than that and I know it.
I feel like there's no way to turn myself around now, all that counting and I admit I slipped up a day but no weight loss? I must have measured my waist wrong, I must have fooled myself and I'm just as fat as before. I want to look nice to see our friends on the third but I think that's out of the question now and it breaks my heart, I had such high hopes and I just destroyed them.
How do I recover from this?
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! June 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 30 06:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kfja1/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_june/
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This is the weekly picture thread for June 30, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 30, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 30 06:13:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kfj90/daily_food_diary_june_30_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for June 30, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I love the feeling of my stomach growling
/u/foreverthefatgirl
Created: Fri Jun 30 06:10:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kfipg/i_love_the_feeling_of_my_stomach_growling/
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It feels like thunder and success.
[Help] Woke up with the urge to vomit
/u/Alkylhalides [5'2| 120.8 | 22.89 | -36.2 | UGW: 96 | 20 F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 04:12:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kf1c4/woke_up_with_the_urge_to_vomit/
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It's only 6am and I woke up because my stomach was KILLING me. Super crampy, super nauseous. I didn't eat much yesterday (191 cals) so it was all water/stomach acid probably. I feel much better now but why does this happen? I feel like I should eat at maintenance today but it's only been a couple days of restricting. Why can't I even do this right, I have in the past...
Has this ever happened to anyone else? Like nightly waves of intense nausea?
[Discussion] DAE has almost no clothes that fit?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 116 | GW: 100]
Created: Fri Jun 30 03:25:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kev5a/dae_has_almost_no_clothes_that_fit/
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I'm currently sitting in an oversized men's XXL shirt (oversized for an XXL man, that is) which fits me like a spacious dress. I bought it intentionally, just because I liked the print and because it was on sale.
Most of my shirts and sweaters are like this. I take odd comfort in hiding the real shape of my body from everyone and dressing to look even smaller than I am. This is also something that only started once I reached normal BMI. When I was fat I wore things that fit.
I was wondering, can anybody here relate to this?
[Rant/Rave] fasting and binging and feeling like shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 30 03:25:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kev1i/fasting_and_binging_and_feeling_like_shit/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Being fat is the worst
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 30 02:47:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6keqa0/being_fat_is_the_worst/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] The best text message I received today.....
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 124 | 17.35 | -16 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 02:29:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6keo2k/the_best_text_message_i_received_today/
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http://imgur.com/a/sV9io
[Rant/Rave] Kinda TMI rant/rave but who else am I supposed to tell
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Fri Jun 30 01:47:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kej1z/kinda_tmi_rantrave_but_who_else_am_i_supposed_to/
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I've been binging like crazy the past two days and it feels like I have zero self control around any carbs or anything with salt. I was so fucking confused and then...boom. Got my period. Makes a crap top more sense, at least. Unfortunately, this means I got my period 4 days early. The day before seeing my long distance boyfriend. :-)
[Help] this is really dumb but what is binging?
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 01:36:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kehqo/this_is_really_dumb_but_what_is_binging/
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[removed]
[Help] TMI poop question lmao
/u/reallynuggie
Created: Fri Jun 30 00:32:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ke921/tmi_poop_question_lmao/
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Omg I never though it would come to this. It's time for a poop question.
So I restrict really hard. Like 200-300 calories a day. Today I was feeling really gross and headachy at work so I bought a potato salad to keep me going. One hour later I almost bloody shat myself and was running for the bathroom lol. This happens every time I eat! Even with baby food, but today was worse because it was a big meal.
Does anyone know why? Have I just restricted so much that my tum tum can't deal with a meal?
[Rant/Rave] My eating disorder is my boyfriend.
/u/forever-lurk [5'7" | HW: too high | WL: -39lbs | GW: 112 lbs | 24 F]
Created: Fri Jun 30 00:01:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ke4nh/my_eating_disorder_is_my_boyfriend/
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Does anyone else feel this way?
I'm lonely, I miss physical affection, I even miss sex, I miss sleeping next to someone, the list goes on.
It's been two years since my last real relationship and I don't miss having to hide my behaviors. I really enjoy that I can restrict whenever I want, and I can spend hours and hours calculating my projected weight loss on losertown as often as I want. I don't have to explain why I don't want to get dinner or why I can't eat with your family because your mother covers everything in a stick of butter.
I get to live in my little ED bubble where I don't have to hide my scale or share my food. Restriction holds my hand and eases my mind. God, that sounded fresh out of a pro-ana livejournal entry. I tuck my giant ass water bottle next to me in bed at night, lol. There isn't room for me, the waterbottle, and you in my bed.
I just want to be left alone with my protein bar hoard.
And yet, my avoidant, aloof, and hangry self actually has people interested in her? Which I think is a joke most of the time because my BMI is 31, I'm flabby, and all around just kind of frumpy. Like how can someone find me attractive, you're coocoo.
My only point is that my protein bar stash will never leave me or hurt my feelings. Until they all expire and I have to throw them out and start all over again.
This was more of a ramble than a rant, but thanks for reading~
[Help] Stories/jokes/wins of the day...anything
/u/bumblebee945 [5"2| CW: 😷 | GW: 90 ]
Created: Thu Jun 29 23:20:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdyvj/storiesjokeswins_of_the_dayanything/
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In a huuuge relapse. I want to cry and I want to die. I haven't eaten in 3 days which is great but I just can't get rid of my feelings.
I'd like to hear from you, literally about anything you want to talk about. I'm really lonely right now and would love some company and something to occupy my brain.
Thanks in advance <3
[Rant/Rave] This ED is ruining everything in my life lol
/u/i_have_daddy_issues [5'4" | 125.0 | GW1: 120 | GW2: 115 | F |]
Created: Thu Jun 29 22:29:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdqjv/this_ed_is_ruining_everything_in_my_life_lol/
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I'm sitting in my boyfriends basement debating with myself whether i want to go home and tell him i don't feel well and go binge and purge. This ED is ruining my perfect relationship, my education, my plans to go to the beach, to do so many things with my life all because all I want to do is binge and purge and get fat and spend money and sit in my bed and cry. Fuck this, it's been 5 years please let me be for one night.
PS can't flair bc mobile
[Rant/Rave] Day 4 of fast complete.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 21:48:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdjjf/day_4_of_fast_complete/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Spiraling out of control
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 21:44:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdiwa/spiraling_out_of_control/
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[deleted]
[Other] In bed and all I can think about is a future binge
/u/unpollutedfantasy
Created: Thu Jun 29 21:43:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdiov/in_bed_and_all_i_can_think_about_is_a_future_binge/
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Today was a good day, I took my vitamins, drank enough water, had an acceptable amount of calories, and I'm not sleeping in a face full of make up.
Now I'm in bed and thinking of binging (and purging) all day tomorrow. I have nothing to do I'm not making plans with friends (not to binge, but because I'm an introvert and I really need tomorrow to myself)
But I'm just weighing all the pros and cons, it's mostly cons, but I don't know if I care🤷🏼♂️
I just have a bad feeling about tomorrow
[Rant/Rave] "Well obviously you didn't have that problem!" [rant]
/u/stickbuggy [6'1.5" | 193lb | 23.9 | -57lb | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 21:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdg4z/well_obviously_you_didnt_have_that_problem_rant/
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I was at the doctors today talking about a program I'm part of. In order to participate, you have to give a pretty good amount of blood every couple of weeks. So, obviously there's a minimum weight requirement. And, of course, my doctor was talking about how so many kids don't meet that requirement and they just can't gain the weight. Then they turn to me and say, "but don't worry, you didn't have that problem at all!".
Time to get my ass into gear and lose more weight I guess. I actually felt good about myself because I lost 3 kg (~7lbs) from my last appointment two weeks ago, but I guess it didn't change anything! 🙃
[Help] What appetite suppressant works most effectively?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 20:59:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdays/what_appetite_suppressant_works_most_effectively/
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[deleted]
[Help] Pleaseeee help me avoid eating cake at a party thrown for me :(
/u/thinismygame [5'6.5" | 141.8 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 20:56:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kdafd/pleaseeee_help_me_avoid_eating_cake_at_a_party/
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Man I feel like shit even typing this out. I work in a small office and I know my boss is planning to get me a cake next week. Last time the office had cake she had EVERYONE (4 of us) eat it all together. I haven't had anything over my calorie limit or outside my safe foods in 7 weeks. I really really don't want to do this.
I'm planning on fasting a few days before but there's just no way I even want to take a bite of this stupid cake. I feel so guilty for not being able to appreciate a kind gesture...I told her I was "eating healthy" but she's still planning this. The worst part is that the scale hasn't moved in 10 days despite me eating ~600 calories every day and I just increased my exercise a ton. Straying from my plan at a time like this is killing me inside!
Any advice??? So far I've come up with taking a ziplock bag to work so I can shove a piece in there and act like I ate it "because I just couldn't resist so I had some while everyone was working" or saying I feel sick for a couple days before as a valid excuse or say that I have to get bloodwork done after work so I have to fast (she knows I have thyroid disorder) but who would fast all day instead of getting it done in the morning?! Am I the biggest piece of shit in the world? This is stressing me out so much but I can't express it. Ughhhhh.
Any advice would be sooo appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] Today i failed
/u/Thinnerthanjennerrr
Created: Thu Jun 29 20:53:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kda0d/today_i_failed/
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I ate a slice of watermelon . then a slice of chicken , some noodles, and some baked beans. THEN another slice of watermelon and a piece of baked chicken with guac on it. I know my total cal for the day has to be like 7-800 and I've been doing so well for the past 2 weeks and now I feel like I have just ruined it all.... I wish I could purge. Never done it before. Or just get rid of it somehow. Its too late to workout. Ew.
[Discussion] Purposely planning HUGE binge and purge sessions
/u/skinnysoleil [5'4 | SW: 165 | CW: 152 | GW: 99 by 2018]
Created: Thu Jun 29 20:38:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kd7bl/purposely_planning_huge_binge_and_purge_sessions/
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Does anyone do this? I just caught myself thinking I should go to a buffet Sunday to eat literally EVERYTHING and then immediately puke it up in a bag in my car. I feel so terrible for even thinking this but now I can't stop considering/imagining it
[Other] my mantras/idioms/quotes etc.
/u/fuck_you_get_pumped
Created: Thu Jun 29 20:28:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kd5jx/my_mantrasidiomsquotes_etc/
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i'm on mobile; mods tag [tips]pretty please tysm!
save these phrases, and look at them every single morning and whenever you're upset or lazy for increased happiness and motivation.
☀️today i abandon unnecessary habits and take up new, more positive ones.
☀️my ability to conquer challenges is limitless. my potential to succeed is infinite.
☀️everything that is happening now i can ultimately use for my betterment.
☀️i am a powerhouse. i am indestructible.
☀️i rejoice, for i am grateful to exist in a world so beautiful.
☀️let today's challenges strengthen you.
☀️remember that you are stardust and will become stardust.
☀️regrets won't change anything.
☀️don't waste your prime on crying and dying.
☀️be sunny; be a star.
☀️i want to be happy and i deserve happiness.
☀️having a thought doesn't make it true. examine the rationality of your thoughts before buying into them.
☀️every day is meant to be conquered. embrace the challenge!
☀️remember- if plan A doesn't work out, well- the alphabet has 25 more letters.
☀️destroy what destroys you.
☀️fake it til you make it. smile like you mean it.
☀️i am easy to please. i'm not needy. i am content with the bare necessities. i have a roof over my head and a place i can sleep in without fear- there's nothing for me to complain about. i am grateful for how lucky i am. i need nothing more.
☀️i have a fridge, a bed and a roof over my head. that makes me richer than ~80-90% of the people on earth. can't complain about that.
☀️"everything's dead until it's alive. man will exist and then he will die. just take the ride... love it as it is, whatever the fuck this is. or destroy it and start again; what we are is in your head... the answer is that there's no answer at all." -every time i die, "if there is room to move, things move".
☀️"every time that you think you're failing, you're giving more than i've ever seen anyone give...i dare you to make me see the best in you... cause you are the reason i still believe/ there's more to life than our history." -amelia, "more to life"
☀️"live life hard." -suicide silence, "you only live once"
☀️though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light/ i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
☀️"we cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them." -epictetus
☀️"if you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." -marcus aurelius
☀️how wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment to improve the world~ anne frank
☀️the sun himself is weak when he first rises- from "the old curiosity shop".
☀️when people are mean to you, that's about them, not you.- from "the summer i met david"
☀️"there is only one success- to be able to spend your life in your own way." -christopher morley
☀️remember that this slight may seem huge now, but if you zoom out and think about it on the scale of your entire life it will probably be a little thing. and if you zoom out further and think about the whole universe, you'll realize that it's a very small instance of unhappiness and on the grand scheme of things you might as well forget it.
☀️feeling icky? take deep breaths, tell yourself you are calm, you are okay. remember that your feelings are not based in logic and they're all in your mind. remember that you can control your emotions. challenge the negative thoughts and feelings and try cognitive reappraisal. realize that the reason you are feeling bad is a lame reason to feel bad. tell yourself, being upset is a waste of time and energy and i deserve to be happy, so i'm gonna act happy until i feel that way. look at your mantras. find your emergency sad kit. listen to music. you don't have to be sad!
bonus: my lucid dreaming mantra, which i think over and over as i fall asleep in order to facilitate lucid dreaming: "when i'm asleep, i'll realize i'm dreaming."
[Tip] to those who are feeling bad about yesterday's intake
/u/fuck_you_get_pumped
Created: Thu Jun 29 19:58:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kd01p/to_those_who_are_feeling_bad_about_yesterdays/
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i'm on mobile, mods tag tip pretty please &tysm
remember that feeling bad won't change the past, so try to move on.
is it the end of the world?
do you need to be upset?
do you want to be upset?
no?
i bet you wanna be happy, so go listen to some music that makes you happy, okay? you don't have to be sad.
[Discussion] Does anyone associate music with it?
/u/Elope
Created: Thu Jun 29 19:17:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kcsdk/does_anyone_associate_music_with_it/
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Okay, this might sound crazy.
When I listen to music, and someone is being sung about. You, he, she, whatever,
I imagine it's me singing it to my ED. Which I guess I've personified in my head. Take a song like Green Light by Lorde. It's about moving on from a relationship, but to me it's about reaching my goal weight and resuming my life. Pretty much every song I listen to gets tied back into by ED. Music is a pretty big part of my life, I consider myself a "pophead", so to speak. So yeah anyone else do this?
[Discussion] what makes you stop a bad habit?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | GW 85]
Created: Thu Jun 29 18:49:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kcn4k/what_makes_you_stop_a_bad_habit/
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Ahh I broke my non-purging streak because the scale said 101 and I was NOT okay with that. I even had a true binge/purge session (usually I just purge normal meals) and purged again today and then... I got a hemorrhoid! It's so uncomfortable.
Is it weird and pathetic but that is making me truly swear off purging? I guess it's an actual current physical consequence of my purging versus a long term consequence somewhere in the future.
A few years ago I stopped purging because I had blood in my stool and (what I self-diagnosed) as a hole in my esophagus... and I was able to stay purge free for years and years. As opposed to the several times over this past year that I've tried to stop purging but never did, I think physical symptoms just make it more real.
Also my title cracks me up because I think of purging as a "bad habit" instead of a debilitating mental health problem.
[Rant/Rave] Lord Give Me Strength.
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Thu Jun 29 18:27:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kcj34/lord_give_me_strength/
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This evening we have a mid year gathering after work where copious amounts of food and alcohol will be present. Because I’m vegan, the events manager emailed me specifically telling me what food she had got for me.. A whole dish of fucking vegan PAD THAI 😭 I’ve been doing so well this week, probably consumed just over 1000 calories all up over the past 5 days and I know this is going to set me on a downwards spiral, not even to mention the alcohol. God I’m a sucker for alcohol.
So the plan is to have a couple of mouthfuls of the Pad Thai, exclaim just how full I am, wash down the shame with a couple of glasses of wine and then go back to my apartment and proceed to hate myself for the next couple of days for “undoing all my progress” and pray that this doesn’t start off a binge.
Logically I know that if I do this, I’ll only consume around 700 calories at the most but it seems like SUCH a fucking waste of calories, especially because if this event wasn’t happening, I could easily get through another day of fasting.
Rant over.
[Discussion] Favorite low calorie or healthy version of Asian dishes?
/u/PetraQuill
Created: Thu Jun 29 17:49:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kcbsf/favorite_low_calorie_or_healthy_version_of_asian/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kcbsf/favorite_low_calorie_or_healthy_version_of_asian/
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself for this, but I almost feel proud of myself after purging...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 17:43:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kcapl/i_hate_myself_for_this_but_i_almost_feel_proud_of/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Favorite Thinspo
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 140.6 | 20.4 | GW2 145 | GW3 139]
Created: Thu Jun 29 17:33:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kc8s7/favorite_thinspo/
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Who is your favorite thinspo? Could be a youtuber, IG girl/boy, actor or just a person you know. I need more inspiration.
[Rant/Rave] Another report from Binge-me
/u/RemtheCat
Created: Thu Jun 29 17:20:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kc6az/another_report_from_bingeme/
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Today I was overwhelmed my my Music Appreciation work, leading to snacking and snacking… and some more snacking. I was at 925 for the day, then wanted yet another snack.
Usually I'd throw in the towel and eat whatever, but for some reason I actually weighed the chocolate chips and granola I put in my single serve Greek yogurt. [MFW](https://imgur.com/gallery/sbBba)
I don't know how I did it, but now I'm only at 1215 for the day! Yay me!
[Help] HELP: recovering from anorexia
/u/dritbra
Created: Thu Jun 29 17:08:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kc3vr/help_recovering_from_anorexia/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I might have to go into IP and I rlly don't want to :( [tw+long rant]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 16:42:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kbybt/i_might_have_to_go_into_ip_and_i_rlly_dont_want/
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[deleted]
[25/F] After having an ED for most of my life, I think I've screwed up my metabolism too much to lose more weight. Any experience with this!
/u/fxtrps
Created: Thu Jun 29 16:30:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kbvs7/25f_after_having_an_ed_for_most_of_my_life_i/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] DAE have a partner who is being accidentally really mean?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 16:03:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kbpyb/dae_have_a_partner_who_is_being_accidentally/
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[removed]
[Other] [other] new life new me
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW140.4 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW115]
Created: Thu Jun 29 15:42:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kblbe/other_new_life_new_me/
---
Moving in with my boyfriend soon which is going to make purging an incredibly difficult task. So I'm really hoping the sheer pressure of that is enough to stop me doing it. I think it would destroy his vision of me if he knew.
And maybe now that my living situation is happy again I can finally stop looking like a frumpy whale again.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
[Discussion] I want to make a website for this community, do you guys have any good ideas for what to put on the site? Any features you'd like to see?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 15:24:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kbh9j/i_want_to_make_a_website_for_this_community_do/
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On mobile, can't flair
[Rant/Rave] Even with cocktails I'm still not too bad
/u/futureskinnybitch123
Created: Thu Jun 29 15:03:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kbcd4/even_with_cocktails_im_still_not_too_bad/
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Today is a good day. Today I weighed in at 10% of my way to my goal weight. Seeing the numbers drop is amazing. But also today is technically the first day of my weekend (I have Friday off) also known as cocktail night, the day I both love and fear. Also my brothers here so I need the alcohol to stay sane. Today with dinner plus drinks, while still above my calorie goal of course, I was still at only about 700 calories. This is still a pretty significant deficit. I get so bad with drinks I usually don't even count them because the stress is just so bad. But oh my god. I did it. I didn't ruin everything.
[Rant/Rave] Secretly competing with my sister...
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9.5"| CW: 136 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -44 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 14:56:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kbaos/secretly_competing_with_my_sister/
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My sister is only 17 months younger than me, people mistake us for twins all the time. Which I find odd because I'm a fat pig and she's soooo fucking slender. She weighed herself in front of my yesterday and was 126 lbs. And she's taller than me! She's 5'10"! It's not fair, because she eats worse than I do, fast food everyday. Everyone says I'm the lucky one because I ended up with the curves, but I'd do anything to have her body.
[Discussion] low calorie cereals?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 101.0 | 17.9 | F 🍍]
Created: Thu Jun 29 14:38:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kb6j5/low_calorie_cereals/
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what's everyone's pick for cereal?
i usually go for fiber one or rice crispies, as they have a pretty ok calorie to size ratio, but I'm curious what your go tos are!
[Other] A letter to my body
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 14:06:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kayy1/a_letter_to_my_body/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Living in a sad reality of ED life as someone in her 30s
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |95.4|16.5]
Created: Thu Jun 29 13:59:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kax61/living_in_a_sad_reality_of_ed_life_as_someone_in/
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I'm 32, taking a day off of work to wrap up a binge/purge. I'm single, a cat lady and lonely. I'm aiming to be 90 lbs or lower, for no reason. Not for happiness. Definitely not to be attractive. Not for someone else or to fit society's idea of beauty.
I can't focus on anything anymore, other than food. I spend free time coasting grocery store aisles or googling recipes or reading about food.
The movies will never portray the life of what this sort of life is like as an older, socially isolated person. There is nobody to ask if you are okay. There is nobody to see you passing out. There is nobody taking you out to lunch, commenting on how you eat. There are no friends who will stick around long enough because you don't make time for them. There is no movie that will film scene after scene of someone laying in bed, wiping up vomit off the walls, and turning the lights off in silence. No background music. No whispers of concern.
It gets old fast. People give up on you. You give up on yourself
[Other] And I'm out :)
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5/83.8lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 29 13:48:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kaug1/and_im_out/
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I'm losing my shit. I'm an unmanageable b/p monster and today I confirmed that reading this sub might be exacerbating my binge urges somewhat.
I really don't want to die. Shit has progressed so far and my stomach is destroyed and I don't want to die alone on a bathroom floor, just because I wanted to eat donuts.
Restriction is something I can only accomplish alone, in self loathing isolation and despair.
Thanks for the good times and poop stories, guys. Good luck, and take care of yourselves :'
[Rant/Rave] Quitting pot to promote weight loss.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 13:43:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kat63/quitting_pot_to_promote_weight_loss/
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[deleted]
You better work
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 13:09:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kakuf/you_better_work/
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[deleted]
[Help] Not losing weight at 1200 calories anymore....
/u/intothexwest [🌸 5"4 | CW: 128 | GW: 120]
Created: Thu Jun 29 13:06:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kak70/not_losing_weight_at_1200_calories_anymore/
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[removed]
[Other] Oh...my...god. This is a thing???
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 13:02:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kaj3k/ohmygod_this_is_a_thing/
---
https://www.walmart.com/ip/TUMMY-LINERS-Set-of-3/114863155?wmlspartner=dsn_fb_8e73ecb9-f4ea-4e70-9087-266261fc36a3&veh=dsn&sourceid=dsn_fb_8e73ecb9-f4ea-4e70-9087-266261fc36a3
[Tip] [Tip] For anyone living in Colorado or Montana, I have calorie counts to share
/u/Sluttymangoes [5'3.75 (162cm) | 120lbs (54.4kg)]
Created: Thu Jun 29 12:57:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6kahx9/tip_for_anyone_living_in_colorado_or_montana_i/
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The restaurant is Five On Black, which is like a Brazilian food Chipotle, basically. This is kind of niche because this restaurant has only five locations in two Rocky Mountain states, but I thought I'd share because 1) I've always KNOWN they have relatively healthy and well-balanced bowls, but 2) they don't post calorie estimates.
Well, I contacted their Facebook to ask if they existed, and they said it's in the works, but gave me what they had. I didn't want to keep this information all to myself. You can very easily make a meal that's altogether under 300 kcal. I actually do high restriction IF, and eat only once a day with maybe a snack in the evening or mid-morning, so I'm more likely to get a 700-800 kcal bowl. I think this info is incredibly useful because if you're eating low cal but want proteins and vitamins, you can still hit all your macros with a place like this.
[Here is the breakdown.](http://imgur.com/a/jFE1d)
[Rant/Rave] It's so frustrating when people think they know better than you do when they don't know anything about your experience...
/u/Profeshed
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:58:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ka39k/its_so_frustrating_when_people_think_they_know/
---
My cousin is a psychologist so I have a lot of trust and respect for her opinion. But I only got about two minutes into telling her that I've struggled with binge eating disorder my whole life before she started disregarding some things I said because it didn't fit her initial bill of what she's learned.
Yesterday I binged at dinner--it wasn't a bad binge, but all I needed to be full was the chicken we ordered from dinner and I proceeded to start eating the whole plate of 3+ cups of rice and the bread (at least 800 calories, that stuff had so much butter in it) and from the first bite I was shutting off and going into idgaf but I also hate myself for this mode. You guys all know that that's binging.....doesn't matter that it's "healthy rice" or that I was going it in front of people because we were at dinner or that I'm a normal healthy weight or that it was dinner time or any of that seemingly normal bullshit. Before I started dinner I knew I shouldn't eat more than the chicken and I fucking cleaned my plate because I could t control myself.
So I use that as an example when I start telling my cousin about my binging disordered eating. And she starts telling me "well actually binging is like hiding food and sneaking off pints of ice cream, that wasn't a binge." I'm so mad. You think I don't know that? You think I haven't done that before? And I told her. I told her I've done that and that it's not about what or where you're eating, binging is just a state of eating too fucking much and you can't stop and the second you start you know exactly what you're doing. I'm just pissed that she thinks that she knows better than me--I know she's more educated in the psychology aspect of it but I literally had this discussion of my lifetime of binging with her for two minutes before she started trying to correct me. Like I'm sorry but if what I'm saying doesn't fit your bill that's because you haven't heard my whole story. Not because I'm wrong.
And then she even made a comment about me being at a healthy weight. Also asked why I never got help. And it made me think of everyone here who has tried to get help and got turned away because we don't fit the cookie cutter image of what ed looks like. Ed is a state of being out of control, it's not about hiding vs being at the dinner table, it's not ice cream vs rice.
Just needed to get this off my chest. We're going to keep talking about it a little later and I don't want to be so pissed off when I continue talking to her. I want her to just understand. She's never struggled with addictive or disordered behavior...she's only read about it.
[Other] Safe, low-cal grocery haul
/u/Alkylhalides [5'2| 120.8 | 22.89 | -36.2 | UGW: 96 | 20 F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:56:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ka2ov/safe_lowcal_grocery_haul/
---
http://i.imgur.com/JmsmCPA.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Binged on whipped cream and pudding then saw how disgusting I was and dumped the rest in the grass.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:50:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ka15w/binged_on_whipped_cream_and_pudding_then_saw_how/
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I guess I'm glad I looked in the mirror and realized how pathetic it was to sit there and spray whipped cream into my mouth and eat chocolate pudding. I dumped the rest outside so I couldn't eat it and now I am craving Starbucks. My friend got me a gift card for my birthday awhile ago and it has been sitting in my purse waiting to be used... :/
[Rant/Rave] Food is ruining my life and taking over everything
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:31:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9wkq/food_is_ruining_my_life_and_taking_over_everything/
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I just don't know what to do if I don't think about food and my ED 24/7. I hate that it's constantly on my mind. I can't even enjoy being around my boyfriend because I just think about how much I want food. And it's the WORST when I make him food. For someone who barely eats I make good food xD it's gotten to the point where I eat vicariously through him. He always teases me though (pretending to be me), "So for lunch I had one ice cube and for desert I smelled a gummy worm." It makes me laugh though because that's pretty much the life of me. I just want to stop thinking about food. I feel like I'm dying, but I'm still way too fat. I can't even keep a tiny bowl of cheezits down without throwing it up because the voice in my head tells me what a huge mistake I made. Can anyone else relate?
[Discussion] What foods do you eat the most according to MFP?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | *CRYING INTENSIFIES* | why | 13.4kg |]
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:27:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9vrp/what_foods_do_you_eat_the_most_according_to_mfp/
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I thought this would be fun to look at.
Breakfast: 1. ProPud Ice Cream Heavenly Vanilla, 2. Sausage Rolls(ate 11 in a binge once, it will *never* let me forget 3. Soy meat
Lunch: 1. Oatmeal, 2. Chicken Teriyaki Subway Salad 3. Tomato Quinoa soup
Dinner: 1. Red Lentil Pasta, 2. Aldi's Season Choice, 3. Smoked Tofu
Snacks: 1. Werthers Original Sugarfree, 2. Binge 3. Large apple
Add yours in the comment section. If you're using another app that has the same feature, you can join too :)
[Tip] amy's brand rec!
/u/gameofboness
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:27:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9vo1/amys_brand_rec/
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hey all!
i don't know if anyone else has tried the brand amy's but i thought i'd throw out a recommendation.
i'm vegetarian and all amy's meals are veg, but they have some vegan ones too. my faves are curry's, pesto pasta, and the various enchilada's.
i eat amy's like every single day for dinner because
1) they're all individually packaged, microwavable dinners
2)all regular dinners are in the 400 cal range, some as low as 350
3) most importantly, they are actual meals, so these are perfect for anyone who lives with other people and has to act normal sometimes
they also have a lean/light line that is even lower calorie.
i seriously can't recommend this brand enough for anyone who wants to look like they eat like a normal person (like, my family isn't veg so me having a separate veg meal goes under the radar). it's so easy to budget like 100-200 cals for breakfast and then amy's dinner, or even fast till din if you go lower.
[Discussion] If you have a therapist for your ED, what do they talk with you about?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:23:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9ur7/if_you_have_a_therapist_for_your_ed_what_do_they/
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[deleted]
[Help] Day 3 into fast, I'm feeling woozy.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Thu Jun 29 11:17:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9t8w/day_3_into_fast_im_feeling_woozy/
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I was wondering if theres any supplements that can restore electrolytes. Here in Canada I've never come across diet electrolyte drinks. I couuuld drink salt water but I'm hoping theres an alternative.
Liquids are fine !
[Rant/Rave] Pregnant and panicked
/u/dbishop22
Created: Thu Jun 29 10:40:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9jzi/pregnant_and_panicked/
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So I know a few of you have had babies. I expressed my concern on r/babybumps, but got met with "you're way too concerned about this. Have you sought therapy?" Um...no?
Let me start by saying...I do not have anorexia. I'm not diagnosed with anything. I have a difficult relationship with food, body image, and exercise and I get incredibly disgusted by obesity.
I got pregnant. Totally on purpose. Married two years. It was in the works. I had mentally prepared myself to gain 25-30 pounds.
I did not mentally prepare to start essentially feeling like a binge eater from week 5. I'm 8 weeks pregnant. I'm up 12 pounds. Sure, at least 7-10 is bloat. But now when I look in the mirror, I see an overstuffed fat fuck spilling out of her jeans and looking like she gets excited and breathless standing in the ice cream aisle at Wal-Mart. I hate it. I have constant low key nausea that is only made better by eattttinggggg. I can only eat something once or twice before it becomes a disgusting thing I can't even look at. As you can imagine...I ran out of healthy food very fast. Tried forcing myself not to eat junk and stick to healthy food. Bring on migraine and un-productive nausea.
Exercise. I want it back. So much. But it feels like I'm constantly so tired. I want to go for a run. A long quiet walk. Fucking zumba idgaf. Something! But I feel like crap.
Anyway, I don't know if anyone can help. But I wanted it off my chest. I hate my body. I kind of hate being pregnant. I feel disgusting and huge and ugly. And it's my birthday.
So. Yeah.
[Other] me after I've binged vs me when I'm restricting
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Thu Jun 29 10:12:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9d8i/me_after_ive_binged_vs_me_when_im_restricting/
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http://imgur.com/KeMnq48
[Discussion] Becoming possessive over food
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 10:10:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k9ctu/becoming_possessive_over_food/
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I'm so possessive over my food choices.
I decided I wanted a mini DQ blizzard. It was the end of day two of hiking 9+ miles a day and restricting and I wanted ice cream.
Then my boyfriend says he wants some too. Now he's not fat but he has a bit of a belly and eats too much and it kind of annoys me tbh. He also eats like a glutton when he does eat.
Anyway when he said he wanted DQ too I got SO irrationally angry (I kept it to myself of course) because now I'M going to feel like a glutton instead of happy that I treated myself.
Does anyone else feel this way?
[Help] balancing my ed and school ????
/u/c-elizabeth-l
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:56:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k997a/balancing_my_ed_and_school/
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so, next year i'll be applying to law school and though i've been able to hide my ed and deal with pretty well during undergrad i'm just concerned that when i go to law school it's going to be really difficult to count cals and deal with the emotions that come along with an eating disorder + law school. has anyone else had an ed and went to law school/grad school??? how did you deal with it ??
[Help] Calorie Estimate help!!!
/u/heartbrokenandok [5'7"-ish | 189 | 29-ish | -32.8| F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:43:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k967c/calorie_estimate_help/
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Yesterday I ate about 600 cal in pringles, a mcdouble, a small mcdonalds fries, and then went out for dinner and had chips+guac and 4 beef taquitos with sour cream.
I'm guessing this was about 2000 calories total for the day. Does that sound about right? I'm so worried I'm under estimating. I ate probably less than 10 home made tortilla chips, but it could have been as many as 15.
[Rant/Rave] i've had an ED for 33% of my life now?!
/u/conspicere [🐍 5'3" | UGW: 💯 | 21F | veg 🥕]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:40:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k95ib/ive_had_an_ed_for_33_of_my_life_now/
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hi lovelies! <3
it's my 21st birthday today, and as a birthday present to myself, I'm coming out of lurkerdom and finally posting an intro!!
i've been lurking here for about 2 months since my most recent relapse got into full swing, and I really admire how y'all are so kind and supportive of each other! plus, you guys gave me the motivation to overcome a plateau 10 lbs ago, so thank you for that!!
so I guess here's a little bit about me: i was always a picky child, only ever eating junk food, so as a result, i was overweight for most of my childhood. :( even worse, when I was 13 and going into high school, I was actually classified as obese (5'1" and 150 lbs). Is it weird that I use my old fat photos as a sort of reverse thinspo? Like I never wanna be that fat again so it motivates me to restrict lmao
my ED behaviors started when I was 14 years old, although I didn't realize it at the time. I just thought I was "going on a diet". When I was in health class learning about ED's freshman year of high school, I distinctly remember thinking "wow, i could never have an eating disorder, I'm way too fat." Kind of ironic to think about now hehe
Over the course of two years, I grew from 5'1" to my current height, 5'3", and went from 150 lbs to 85 lbs at my lowest weight. I was never hospitalized or officially diagnosed. Weird to think about how I almost halved my weight! (but also kinda cool)
I had a sort of mini-relapse senior year of high school, but I never became super underweight like I was before. I had a couple b/p cycles, but my parents watched me like a hawk, so there was no way I could effectively purge inconspicuously. Then I went away to college and gained a little bit (ugh, the dreaded Freshman 15)
My most recent relapse (the one I'm in now) started over Christmas break this past year, but it didn't really kick itself into high gear until this summer, when I started heavily restricting again. I lost most of the weight I gained since I graduated high school so far, only 3 lbs away! :)
But this time I want to go farther. I want to be underweight again. I want to be able to see my bones again. I want to feel thin and confident again. Even though I know my BDD will never truly go away, I'd rather be thin and sad than fat and sad, you know?
Anyway, if you're still here thanks for reading!! I'm going on vacation this weekend, but hopefully y'all will be seeing me around here a lot more.
xoxo - Connie
[Humor] Self loathing. Medium rare please.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:31:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k93jf/self_loathing_medium_rare_please/
---
https://i.redd.it/lvhmlfnnsl6z.jpg
Do any of you have pcos? What do you do to manage it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:31:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k93g9/do_any_of_you_have_pcos_what_do_you_do_to_manage/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] fighting the urge
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | CW:56.6 | GW: 54 | 20.8 | HW: 70 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:22:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k91dv/fighting_the_urge/
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i am so close to a binge right now and i'm mostly just writing this so my fingers have something to do other than go to the snack drawer.
i've been doing so well though and eating an appropriate amount of food, trying to do self imposed recovery cos i've got fuck all money for a therapist or any professional help. the only other person i could talk to is my best friend who's now in new zealand so she'd be sleeping right now. but she's told me that i am sometimes a trigger for her and i don't want to put her through that. all my other friends are in the middle of exams and i don't want to dump my shit on them on top of all their stress.
so ya, i'm rambling now because i'm a mess. can't go for a walk (what i usually do) because it's pouring outside. can't play entertaining phone games cos phone is dead. if i try to watch series or a movie that's definitely gonna turn into a binge. most of my binges take place in front of my laptop lol
don't know what to do
gonna try nail painting. needed to get this out of my head and put it down somewhere. support is very much welcomed. my brain is not a happy place rn
[Rant/Rave] 99 pound hunger strike
/u/throwaway8274859
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:17:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k906f/99_pound_hunger_strike/
---
https://www.google.com/amp/www.military.com/daily-news/2017/04/01/fort-hood-shooter-says-hes-going-on-hunger-strike.html%3Fvariant%3Dmobile.amp
It's it bad I loled at this? We're all on a 99 pound hunger strike, Amirite? 😭
[Help] Reoccurring urge for Self-Harm
/u/dankdesty [5'10|CW 117|GW 110|UGW 100|F| -3lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:14:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8zh2/reoccurring_urge_for_selfharm/
---
Idk what wrong with me, but for the past few days I have had these re occuring thoughts like ;l am nothing, Im worthless, nothing but an object for others' pleasure.. But whats really scaring me is how badly Ive been wanting to self harm... I ate a lot lasst night (probs bc I took a xanax) then passed out randomble around 11 & woke back up at 2 am where I killed the second half of a halo top, ate 8 ghram crackers smother w. pb & banana slices,, then the other hald of a banana, thennnn a whole fucking banana, & a shit ton (probs like 30) grain & seed crackers... then went to sleep...
Today I feel like shit & the urge to cut is sooo strong right now im wondering if theres anything at work I can use....
Anyone else ever get urges to self harm (i mean beside the ed related shit cause fuck arent we self-harming 24/7 in that case lol) If so can anyone suggest alternatives to feel pain?
TL;DR I want to self-harm soo badly, but I hate how long my scars last from cutting & wish there was an alternative
[Help] Controlling Binge Urges
/u/newtoskate [5'8| CW:130lbs | BMI:19.8 | 3rd Relapse: 2lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:13:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8zc9/controlling_binge_urges/
---
During a period of restriction how do you control Binge urges? It seems to have gotten worse for me after forced IP treatment it's like my body got used to the sugar
[Humor] I couldn't help but laugh at this sign
/u/MidnightBlueFox [5'5 | CW: 136lbs | BMI: 23 | -14lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:10:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8yly/i_couldnt_help_but_laugh_at_this_sign/
---
https://imgur.com/a/QlkN9
[Help] I can do this?
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:05:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8xd0/i_can_do_this/
---
Literally still have zero appetite and I have to do a shit ton of physical labor today (lugging my earthly possessions three flights of stairs in oppressive southern heat). I should have a little something but purchasing something feels a little much for the sake of moving it in a few hours.
I have to wait on a few things so if I get done ahead of time I might go and have a little something... but ugh. It's a long ass decision process I hate having to make.
Plus side: I'm happy to have human interaction on the regs again.
[Discussion] Lots of food in work environment?
/u/throwaway002300
Created: Thu Jun 29 09:01:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8waq/lots_of_food_in_work_environment/
---
Does anyone else work in an environment where food is constantly brought in and coworkers are always eating? Example: I work in a company where at least 1-2x a week bagels or biscuits are brought in, and it seems like we're always either doing a potluck or catered lunch. There's always food everywhere. It's very frustrating for me when I'm doing well with restricting (adding temptation and pressure from coworkers) or struggling with b/p episodes. Any thoughts on ways to cope? Anyone else work in a place like this?
[Discussion] [private message] when white nationalists of all people want to ruin our sub???
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Thu Jun 29 08:35:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8qie/private_message_when_white_nationalists_of_all/
---
http://imgur.com/YwkJ2I3
[Rant/Rave] I literally can't control my binges if there is anything else stressing me out at all
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 08:20:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8mxo/i_literally_cant_control_my_binges_if_there_is/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just purged for the first time in ages :(
/u/pm_me_dog_picz
Created: Thu Jun 29 08:15:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k8lyc/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_ages/
---
I know this is proED but I have no one else to tell. I'm in recovery from bulimia. I went for a walk before work and passed by a coffee shop - on autopilot I decided to go buy and eat a piece of cheesecake. I knew I shouldnt and I didnt even want to but I did.
I spent $7 on that stupid slice of overpriced cake, even though I'm already broke from buying so much binge food. Even though I told myself I would only eat an apple.
Then, 20 minutes later I purged loudly inside a different coffee shop. When I left the washroom I couldve sworn people were staring. It reminded me so much of pre-recovery days where I would purge whereever I could whenever I could. The shame of knowing that people know and yet part of you not caring. A sort of sick pride.
So now I'm sitting outside work and I can smell the vomit on my breath and up my nose. I feel...I don't know, I guess I feel numb from the purge, but I also feel afraid that this is the beginning of a relapse and I wont be able to stop.
I hope this is okay to post here. I just needed to put these thoughts somewhere. This is the second time I've purged in two months. Before that I was a year purge free.
💔💔💔
[Help] Tips on getting back to nutrition
/u/karandavid
Created: Thu Jun 29 07:03:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k86uk/tips_on_getting_back_to_nutrition/
---
Hi.
I'm helping a friend on a part of her therapy to step out of the anorexia zone. No judgment here. That's her wish, she's asking me to.
She doesn't know the feeling of taste anymore, she says it's all as cardboard to her.
Most foodstuff revile her by appearance only.
I'm going to help her getting back to appreciate the textures, the freshness, the acidity or bitterness, the saltiness or tangy stuff. Step by step.
Maybe you would have some advice for me, tips or ideas ?
I'm looking into the varied world of smoothies, as it's summer here, and fruits can easily be mixed with nuts or oats etc. This would also help with the problem of the appearance of the food.
Of course, she's being followed by therapists. I'm just here, representing the non-medical world, the tribe, the friend. The outside help. The friend who knows to cook, to choose the food, to dress stuff up.
[TRIGGER] But I don't have experience about anorexia, well, apart from a cousin who died from it when I was a child.
[END OF TRIGGER]
So I'd like to avoid usual pitfalls of non-anorexic helping friends, you see. I documented myself a bit, but I'm sure you all would have some tips to help me help her ?
Thanks.
[Rant/Rave] Got my wisdom teeth pulled, couldn't be happier
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:~185lbs | CW: 151.4lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 06:45:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k83cv/got_my_wisdom_teeth_pulled_couldnt_be_happier/
---
Don't get me wrong, I am very uncomfortable, but this means nothing but light soups and halo top for awhile. 😇
[Rant/Rave] I don't want to be anorexic anymore
/u/PrincessMelancholia [4'11 | CW:85lbs | GW:77lbs |UGW:66lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 29 06:38:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k81y6/i_dont_want_to_be_anorexic_anymore/
---
I'm sick of having all these issues. I'm completely over it - it's not something I'm willing to put up with anymore. I told myself "fuck it" and decided to eat. But I always fall back to anorexia. I lose, gain, hate myself and lose again.
I don't fucking care about how I look because I'm always going to be ugly. I don't want to starve anymore because it made me miserable. I don't want to feel sad anymore because I know nobody gives a shit. I'm gross and fat, but I don't want to restrict anymore. I'm so exhausted and I don't know how to let myself eat without guilt.
[Help] First time doing a fast
/u/GingerStark [5'9.3" | 20.2 | CW : 138 | GW : 120 | UGW : 110 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 06:16:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7xt5/first_time_doing_a_fast/
---
I want to die
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support June 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 29 06:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7wu6/weekly_emotional_support_june_29_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 29, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 29 06:10:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7wru/daily_food_diary_june_29_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 29, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] DAE feel like if they're not feeling hunger pangs they're fat/gaining weight?
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Thu Jun 29 05:53:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7tiv/dae_feel_like_if_theyre_not_feeling_hunger_pangs/
---
I literally can't eat a normal amount anymore without immediately feeling so full and disgusting and bloated. I woke up this morning post binge (I'm fucking disgusting. Please don't let me around carbs I either eat none or all of them. I can't just have a serving.) and didn't feel absolutely ravenous and I feel fucking disgusting because of it.
[Discussion] What's your weirdest thing you've eaten because of ED?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 116 | GW: 100]
Created: Thu Jun 29 04:55:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7kj0/whats_your_weirdest_thing_youve_eaten_because_of/
---
In my attempts to find ~the lowest calorie food ever~ I keep trying all sorts of weird things. Some examples feature:
• the classic "ricecakes with hot sauce and/or mustard"
• frozen berries straight from the bag
• just plain chopped and steamed carrots instead of meals
• cucumbers with soy sauce and vinegar (according to my bf, that is not a legitimate salad and I'm being weird)
• rolled oats with salt (because sugar=calories, duh) and (forgive me, lord) occasional ketchup
[Rant/Rave] It's been a while since I felt this way
/u/borbolete [5'4.5" ]
Created: Thu Jun 29 04:31:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7h3s/its_been_a_while_since_i_felt_this_way/
---
(Context for those who don't know me) I've had a history of disordered eating for a long time, mostly wanting to restrict and lose weight but normally re-eating my calories again over time. Recently I've got hugely back into restriction, determined to finally 'get this right', although trying my hardest to stay as positive as I can alongside it.
So far, I'm getting it 'right'. I'm in the restriction rhythm and I don't feel hungry anymore. I've been walking 15,000 steps (through a beautiful nature reserve I've found in my city), I've been working out intensely 45 minutes or more a day. I'm logging 500-700 a day, but I think it's actually 300-500? With intermittent fasting during the day and full vitamins every evening. It's all very time consuming, but worth it right now.
I've been determined to fight the negative thoughts. I've been focusing on identifying negative thought patterns over the past few days, examining them and figure out ways to let them go. For example, it's been creeping in that 'keep up this exact deficit and you'll be X weight in no time'. I'm fighting this. Trying to, anyway. My plan is to reverse diet in a few days (to try and prevent the inevitable emotional freakout of eating more again and having my mind function at normal capacity again) and maintain my calories for a week when I hit my second GW next Thursday (although I can keep exercising) and then slowly restrict again. Maybe around that point, I'll start to feel comfortable about sharing my stats on this subreddit, but I think that's another 10-15 pounds away yet.
Another negative thought that's creeping in 'Why do you care about these hobbies? They don't matter. All that matters is this.' Woooah brain, stop that thinking right now. I've been fighting this mentality, tooth and nail. You know those old proana mantras like a 'second on the lips, forever on the hips', anything that basically suggests 'don't give up in a temporary phase what you've wanted forever'? I'm trying to use that mentality towards my hobbies. My hobbies are important to me. Reading, writing, playing music. I can't give them up or ignore them just because I'm restricting calories.
And one more thought. 'Just avoid everyone next week when you see them. If you don't reach your GW, you're not worth their company. You have nothing else to offer them apart from being skinny'. Bollocks! Poppycock! That thought isn't even worth entertaining. I need to banish that right away. I am worth friendship, I am worth love!
The mental clarity in general, negative thoughts aside, is startling. When I manage to fight the 'give up your hobbies' thought, the results are amazing. Creativity is coming really easy to me. I get lost in making my own universes and stories, whereas before my mind was frantic, busy, tiring.
I think I will definitely keep up intermittent fasting when I reach my UGW, for this reason only. Also, when I do eat at the end of the day, it feels... amazing. Like a warm fire of fuel spreading in my belly to my joints and my arms, and then I'm ready to workout. As long as I can stop. After my allotted meal, I always want to eat MORE. Something shouts inside myself for more food of any kind. What I've been doing to stop the instinct is making myself a pot of tea, a good mint or camomile. It's my post dinner routine. By the time I've finished, normally the feeling has gone and the food has had its effect in making me full.
[Other] Found this kinda interesting
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 03:53:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7btz/found_this_kinda_interesting/
---
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ScKx4bSN_po
[Rant/Rave] Liar liar pants on fire
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 03:40:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k7a1h/liar_liar_pants_on_fire/
---
Ugh.
Got so pissy from my therapy session that I didn't do the pizza challenge as promised. Found some bullshit excuse to not have a picture and ended up having a sandwich that was scary but actually seemed appealing. Honestly, better for recovery for me because I didn't want it at fucking all. I easily made it through the rest of the day without food so fuck it.
Now I'm hella fucking set on restriction. Wound up getting triggered into an intense flashback later in the day, navigated my way out of it for the most part, then got fucking cat called twice in a god damn block walk and had a full fucking meltdown when I was alone. I can only handle this shit when I'm restricting. If I lose enough weight I can just fucking pile on potato sacks or some shit and hide.
Shit. Going to try and sleep finally so I can do my last damn move for a year at least. That's a plus.
[Rant/Rave] I can't sleep!!! :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 29 02:42:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k72k0/i_cant_sleep/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I've had my period for 4 weeks
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 139.8 | 21.03 | -10.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 29 01:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k6t9r/ive_had_my_period_for_4_weeks/
---
(Updated)Exactly as the title says. Four. Fucking. Weeks. My IUD is falling out I think (I can feel the strings are farther down than they used to be) and I'm headed to the doc tomorrow. But that's not the worst part.
My hormones are also super fucked and I've been on period mode for all of those four weeks and therefore I've gained about 10 fucking pounds.
If anyone needs me I'll be in a hole wishing I was fucking dead.
UPDATE: I just came home from the doctor and she said it looks okay (from what she could see in my vageeper) but I'm gonna have an ultrasound soon. I could have gone in and had one done faster, but it would have been at the local women's clinic and people's family from my old (catholic) high school to there regularly and picket. So now I have to wait at least another two weeks and all I want to do is cry and die.
[Help] Alcohol and purging
/u/loseitjen
Created: Wed Jun 28 23:07:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k68fd/alcohol_and_purging/
---
Alright so this is my first post but I've been browsing for awhile. I've been purging the past couple of months but it's pretty difficult for me too get much of the food up. The only time i really have any success is when I've been drinking. But that can be up to two hours after I've actually eaten so it seems pointless. Am I just puking up the food/alcohol I've drank for no reason and the calories have already settled or am I actually benefiting myself?
Disclaimer: I'm drunk rn so this post may not make as much sense as I wanted it to lol
[Rant/Rave] So freaking nauseous
/u/Alkylhalides [5'2| 120.8 | 22.89 | -36.2 | UGW: 96 | 20 F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 22:12:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5z0p/so_freaking_nauseous/
---
So nauseous. In the bathroom trying NOT to vomit. I just had my first meal of a chicken 30g/cheese 15g quesadilla (159cals) and my stomach is cramping and my throat has that feeling like right before puking. Why does this happen :( I just wanted to eat little :(
[Rant/Rave] Munchies
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 21:52:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5vln/munchies/
---
Me and my friends are high, we go to a grocery store (I stay in car) and they bring back chips for me cuz vegan.
I checked the bag and they're like 150kcal for just 14 and my friend meanwhile got halo top and I'm so jealous cuz she can eat so much more than I can for less calories >:(
I feel bad but I was so upset when she got it cuz I want to be the skinny one, you know?
I'm trying not to eat more chips (I have kale stir fry at home) but they're so tempting :( give me strength guys
Idk if I should tag this as rant/rave or help. Mods it's up to you cuz I'm on mobile
Sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense
Edit: the situation is over, I'm home with safe foods. But still. First point still stands :(
[Humor] If you're having a bad day..
/u/We_Are_Vigilant_ [5'9"| CW164 GW150 | ~ | M]
Created: Wed Jun 28 21:48:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5ux9/if_youre_having_a_bad_day/
---
Go to /r/babyelephantgifs
It'll make your day better I guarantee it.
Thanks, that is all.
[Rant/Rave] So, it finally happened. No matter how much I ate, I just wasn't full.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 21:02:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5mrh/so_it_finally_happened_no_matter_how_much_i_ate_i/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Day 3 of fast over!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 20:26:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5g3d/day_3_of_fast_over/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] The scales are lying to me. (intro)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 20:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5euf/the_scales_are_lying_to_me_intro/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] [Humor] Buzzfeed Hitting a Bit Too Close to Home
/u/run_far_girl [5'0 | CW: 93.5 | : BMI: 18:15 | Pear for love, Pear for life]
Created: Wed Jun 28 20:10:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5d1n/humor_buzzfeed_hitting_a_bit_too_close_to_home/
---
Takes me back to my b/p days. Of course that would be the holiday on my birthday.
Album: http://imgur.com/a/BIgY3
[Rant/Rave] I'M SO HAPPY RN
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 96.8lbs | 17.62 | HW 125lbs | LW 82lbs | 👨❤👨]
Created: Wed Jun 28 20:09:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5cv3/im_so_happy_rn/
---
I WEIGHED IN AT 96.8 LBS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN IDK HOW LONG
I almost cried y'all
[Rant/Rave] I feel like you all will be able to relate to what I prepared tonight for my dinner.
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 20:08:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5crw/i_feel_like_you_all_will_be_able_to_relate_to/
---
So my pet hedgehog is sick, and, needless to say, I am extremely distressed about it. I have no other way to cope tonight except distraction. So I escaped into eating and reality TV, like any other mentally ill American. The kicker is the food I actually made for myself to "binge" on though - I'll explain. I bought a cucumber, some sliced hot cherry peppers, and some turkey pepperoni. I cut the cucumber up into thin slices, and I put a pepperoni slice and a pepper slice on each one. To put it into perspective, there were enough cucumber slices to cover the surface area of a 12"x12" plate **three times.** And I also had an entire 64 oz bottle of diet cranberry juice.
All of that added up to 475 calories.
Needless to say, I feel like vomiting now. BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT HUNGRY, AMIRITE? -___- please tell me you can relate.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling so triggered and miserable
/u/notlion [5'9.5" | 21.8 | 24F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 20:07:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5cla/feeling_so_triggered_and_miserable/
---
My mom is in town. I had to go out to dinner with her. Had a half sandwich and soup that I washed down with wine to make it okay. Then I had to walk about a grocery store slightly tipsy and full. I feel so full of self loathing and... True fear. I am terrified of not losing. My mom barely noticed I lost 20 lbs saying that I was thin before. Told her I wanted to lose 20 lbs more, she just shrugged.
Fuuuuuuuck.
[Rant/Rave] Slight panic..
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 19:58:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k5au9/slight_panic/
---
So, I realized that loseit has changed their policies and sets the cals no lower than 1200 per day (w t f). So, cue me panicking because 1200 is way more than i thought i was trying to stay under. Quickly downloaded lifesum - can't set goal weight below 100 pounds (w t f). Like.. I get it, you don't want people to be able to use your app to reinforce their eating disorders but.. also.. why do you have to make my life harder than it already is :|
[Goal] Any plans for people when they reach their goal weight?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Wed Jun 28 19:46:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k58lu/any_plans_for_people_when_they_reach_their_goal/
---
Does anybody else have a plan once they reached their goal weight? I'm 5'5 and 105 lbs and i'm trying to reach 97 lbs for when I get my wedding dress altered. Just curious what everyone else's plans were :)
[Help] so disordered I'm using my homelessness and lack of money as an excuse to not eat; anyways, any tips on how to survive while homeless? aka not completely die
/u/fluidbitch [5'7" | -15 | agender]
Created: Wed Jun 28 19:20:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k53m4/so_disordered_im_using_my_homelessness_and_lack/
---
basically what the title says...I'm living with friends till the end of July and I don't make much money. I'm currently able to subsist on 20 dollars a week on food, gonna try to make that 10 dollars a week. I'll spend the excess on paying off debt and buying nice pick-me-ups like cheap clothes (that I do need for work, like black pants, shirts, underwear, etc.)
I'm not sure what I'm gonna do when I'm officially on the street. My comrades say I can use our non-profit cooperative space to stay in as long as I stay out of the view of the windows (bc of the cops), but the problem is that I have kidney issues and IBS so I always need to use the bathroom, which we don't have in the space. I also drink a lot of water when I get hungry from restricting so that's another problem... I feel like it'd be easier to avoid eating but the bathroom problem is gonna be really annoying.
Does anyone have any tips on how to navigate being homeless? I do currently have a job, working 32 hours a week at my university's library and will be auditing a class to fill up my free time.
[Help] First day back to a liquid diet and so far I feel like shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 18:46:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4x6l/first_day_back_to_a_liquid_diet_and_so_far_i_feel/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Staring to see results
/u/crochetyhooker [5'8" | CW 187 |BMI 28 | 11lbs lost | Female]
Created: Wed Jun 28 18:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4w5w/staring_to_see_results/
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13 days into my <500 cal per day plan and down 11lbs. Last two nights I've let my emotions dictate my behaviour resulting in binges and immediate purges. I just have to keep reminding myself how sexy I feel with hips bones and collar bones and no muffin top. I'm just here to say hi and look for motivation.
* 5'8"
* SW: 198
* CW: 187
* GW: 170, 160, 150
* UGW: 135
* LW: 120
* HW: 200
[Discussion] Benefits from Fitbit??
/u/coffeeanddietcokee [5'9'' | 140.6 | 20.4 | GW2 145 | GW3 139]
Created: Wed Jun 28 18:39:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4vps/benefits_from_fitbit/
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Does anyone here have a Fitbit and feel like it helped them lose weight faster? I want one, but I want it so I can be more inspired to lose weight. Any benefits or comments?
[Discussion] Anyone else eat well through the work/school week, then undo your progress over the weekend?
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 114.6 | 27F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 18:04:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4opz/anyone_else_eat_well_through_the_workschool_week/
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ME TOOOOO. During the week (M-F), I intermittent fast and just have dinner, and STILL could wind up at a over calories for the whole week and gaining weight, because I stuff my face on the weekend.
And to any of you like me, there is hope. After years of doing this, I've been able to manage my weekends. It started with trying Dietbet, where you put money in a pot with other users, then win part of the pot back if you reach your goal... I lost all the money that I bet, BUT the bright side is, it got me to do better on the weekends. And it's slowly become a habit.
Just thought I'd share. Never thought I'd see the 114s again. THERE IS HOPE FOR THE STALLERS.
[Rant/Rave] Wanted to share this with someone..
/u/la_perla_negra
Created: Wed Jun 28 17:50:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4m09/wanted_to_share_this_with_someone/
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I know you all are the only ones who could understand; I was at my sister's house earlier in the week with the rest of the family so I had to eat kinda normal. It was hard, I felt like they watched me read labels and take smaller portions than everyone else.
She had no scale and it drove me mad I had no way to track my weight. So I mostly stuck to beer and coffee...when I finally got home to my scale (God how I missed it) I was 4lbs less than when I left! Thanks for letting me share, I'm sure many can relate
*obligatory no flair, on mobile*
[Intro] I came to type up an intro after being a long time lurker and Reddit has got jokes.
/u/whylenol [💊 159cm | CW: 69kg | GW: 60kg | UGW: 46kg | 20 F 💊]
Created: Wed Jun 28 17:47:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4ll3/i_came_to_type_up_an_intro_after_being_a_long/
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[LMAO.](http://i.imgur.com/ut028kH.png)
Anyways, like I said I've been lurking since last October, when is when I began to suspect that my destructive eating behaviors was a sign that I was developing an ED. Body dysmorphia, anorexia, and bulimia all run in my mom's side of the family and BED runs in my dad's side so I guess I was just due for it.
I gained some 13kg (30lbs) in two years when I went to college, and so my girlfriend recommended that I try losing it with myfitnesspal. I lost 2/3 of what I had gained by healthily counting calories, but gained most of it back in 6 months.
That's when I started pushing my weight goals lower, got frustrated and tried to restrict more, got fucked up about food and calories and nutrition, which pushed me to *really* binge eat, which eventually meant that I was binging a few times a week. I purged for the first time in those months, but thankfully that behavior hasn't stuck.
Now I'm trying high restriction (even though 950 is still too low for health, but apparently too high for my brain) in an attempt to curb the binge eating. Recovery really isn't in the cards for me right now, but this sub has been the best support (from a distance) that I have.
[Other] song for people who wish they were skinny and like kissing girls [dream pop]
/u/pleasegodnofuck [5'3 | 852lbs | 155.1 | -11lbs | ?]
Created: Wed Jun 28 17:40:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4jzh/song_for_people_who_wish_they_were_skinny_and/
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https://theblogthatcelebratesitself.bandcamp.com/track/juvenile-juvenile-wish-i-was-skinny
[Tip] My grocery haul... relatively safe to binge on foods. Am I missing one of your go-tos? Share your knowledge with me!
/u/skinnysoleil [5'4 | SW: 165 | CW: 152 | GW: 99 by 2018]
Created: Wed Jun 28 16:58:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4bn1/my_grocery_haul_relatively_safe_to_binge_on_foods/
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https://i.redd.it/qv6t5vogvg6z.jpg
[Discussion] Finally have an event to use as motivation
/u/heartemoji
Created: Wed Jun 28 16:26:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k44t4/finally_have_an_event_to_use_as_motivation/
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Hey guys
So the last time I successfully restricted and dropped a lot of weight was when I was asked to be in a wedding and the thought of being the fat bridesmaid was horrible. This was the best motivation I've ever had.
I have just realised that as I plan to graduate next year and because I'm studying online planning to go to the ceremony that is in another state (a 5 hour plan ride away).. this should be my motivation!
I don't want to hate those cap and gown photos for the rest of my life.
So I am wondering what events in your life - big or small - that you keep in mind when hunger really hits!?
[Rant/Rave] Any recommendations for reducing bloat and mentally preparing for a special occasion?
/u/lock-box
Created: Wed Jun 28 16:22:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k43ym/any_recommendations_for_reducing_bloat_and/
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Hello, I used to be a regular poster here but my account was almost found (aka I was paranoid and deleted) and unfortunately I have to lurk/keep myself from browsing as heavily as I used to!
Do y'all do anything for occasions where you need to wear bathing suit, less clothing, something special etc? I live in a popular vacation destination where I can typically avoid the beach at crowded times(/when I'm required to wear a bathing suit) because of my work schedule. This weekend though, my boyfriend is having a bunch of friends come into town and we've already fought about how I have bailed on hanging out with his friends to do nothing instead because they made beach plans.
I'm just going to suck it up and try to make it out there for a little bit just to skip the disagreements. I am gonna do everything in my power to feel somewhat less self-conscious though. Any tips?
*Flair tips, sorry on mobile!
[Rant/Rave] Just really need to vent
/u/Spacekittyyyyy
Created: Wed Jun 28 16:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k4261/just_really_need_to_vent/
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I haven't been on this site for a while but I'm just so frustrated at this point. I've been eating 2 medium sized bowls of watermelon for 2 weeks which amounts to approximately 100 calories per day (and I give myself 1 day where I can eat more than usual) . I hit a plateau with my weight at 129 lbs. 1.2.9. I don't get how. I'm only 5'2 and I've been drinking less water for fear that I'll gain weight. I started doing light exercises (250 jump ropes and 15 minutes yoga) and am trying to move around the house instead of lying down all the time starting yesterday. I stepped on the scale this morning and I was exactly at 129. Then I went up to 129.2 and now I'm up to 129.4. Wtf? I'm just so tired of this. My body wasn't like this before. Years ago, I ate the exact same diet and the weight melted off of me. But this time, it's not! This is weird as sh*t and it sucks that nobody can relate to me.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck Periods.
/u/alovelytime
Created: Wed Jun 28 16:12:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k41x6/fuck_periods/
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Usually the week before my period starts I get huge cravings and binge on everything. I know most people get like this the week of but for me it happens the week before.
Anyways this past week I have been devouring everything on site and eating about 2000+ calories and I just felt so out of control. I didn't understand why I was being like this when I had been doing so good the past month.
Well today my stomach started cramping and that's when the little light in my head turned on, so I checked my calendar and turns out i'm due to start tomorrow.
Now I have a rational explanation for why I inhaled half the contents of my fridge and some.
[Other] Any other old bitches remember Blue Dragonfly?
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 122.4 | 20.61 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 16:06:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k40ib/any_other_old_bitches_remember_blue_dragonfly/
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Twelve-year-old me spent hours on that site (on my family's desktop computer, no less).
I've been thinking of its splash page quote:
"Through prayer, fasting, and meditation I will drop below one hundred pounds, the despicable three digits. I want to be ninety-nine or nothing. Want. Did I say want? I shouldn't say want. I shouldn't say shouldn't...I'm trying to eliminate my ego but that action is ego itself. All action is ego. Are you following me? I'm not here with my mirror and scale for the good of my health." (from *'Tis*, by Frank McCourt)
[Discussion] Becoming horrible people
/u/CouldNotLoadUsername [13|F|Prof-Diagnosed|AN]
Created: Wed Jun 28 15:46:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3vmn/becoming_horrible_people/
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So I've noticed how, if I'm eating with my friends at school lunches and stuff, I always watch what they eat and try add up the calories throughout the day. I always try make them eat (without being forceful) and I always make sure they eat more than me. In fact, in any situation I love seeing that people are eating more than I do. Has anyone else found that they do this too?
Has anyone else seen the ED turn them into a horrible person?
[Discussion] For those who've reached a goal, how long did it take you?
/u/TeaWithLemon9012
Created: Wed Jun 28 15:41:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3uej/for_those_whove_reached_a_goal_how_long_did_it/
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Previously I reached my gw in about 6 months but having a bingeing problem (and health issues) put me back up to 40lbs above that. Of course now my obsessive compulsive disorder is bringing back my anorexia so I'm back to losing again. It's discouraging to only see the scale move three pounds a week. It's made me honestly curious what others' experiences have been. Personally it's been a back and forth struggle between losing, "recovery", and ending up fat and miserable again. I can't imagine I'm alone?
So for those who've hit your goal at least once before, how long did it take you and how much did you lose? Also, did you keep it off?
[Help] underweight cutoff at 15.5 for Asians?
/u/ci-fre [5'1" | 83-84 lb | ~16.5 new BMI | F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 15:39:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3tvk/underweight_cutoff_at_155_for_asians/
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I'm sitting in front of my phone feeling super anxious right now because I've seen some sources have the underweight cutoff for East Asians at... 15.5 BMI? I'm not even that using the old BMI cutoff and I feel like I'm never going to be deserving of help since I'm Asian ... gdi. anyone else have thoughts about this?
[Discussion] Horrible bloating
/u/forestfloorpool [✶170cm • bmi18.3 • gbmi17.3 • 24f✶]
Created: Wed Jun 28 15:36:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3t7l/horrible_bloating/
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I've started to eat more regularly to get myself out of this binge / restrict funk and be a human again. I've enjoyed eating very clean and healthy meals, and it's helped my energy levels a lot. HOWEVER, as a result of restricting, b/p and minimal laxative use I am now INCREDIBLY bloating. I look about 15 weeks pregnant, feel nauseous and fighting my food coming back up. I'll be hungry on the top half, but so full and stretched on the bottom half. I'm still going to the toilet, but the bloating isn't subsiding. Last time I experienced this was recovering after major laxative abuse, so I know it's my gut being lazy but it's just so awful. All my clothes are tight, and so uncomfortable.
It's impacting how I see myself and I hate it. It's triggering me to want to take laxatives or skip lunch to reduce it, but I know it'll make it worse. Anyone else experiencing or experienced this? How long did it take for yours to subside? Ugh why 😞
[Rant/Rave] I can't think about food if I'm asleep
/u/missmarmoset
Created: Wed Jun 28 15:22:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3pxz/i_cant_think_about_food_if_im_asleep/
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In a restrictive cycle thanks to a two-week binge period... I gained 20lbs. 🙃🔫 I've been working out and trying to eat well this year and have done well (lost 40 lbs!) but I had a pretty bad relapse recently so now I'm just drinking and sleeping and working out. I'm eating the same few items to make food seem boring and not overly appealing and idk this is my first post and I'm rambling but I'm alone in my disorder and have been lurking here for a long time, and feel lonely enough to finally submit a post. I usually have tons of social anxiety over this kind of stuff so please be gentle ❤ I have a lot of love for this sub. Helps me feel a little less of an anomaly
[Discussion] What is your reward for reaching your goal weight?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | GW: 77 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 15:16:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3oit/what_is_your_reward_for_reaching_your_goal_weight/
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For me, I know that having a goal at the end of everything helps me not lose sight of it. Sometimes when all I think about is "What's the point?" I try to remember ultimately what I'm trying to accomplish and that it's supposed to boost my confidence so I can work towards improving myself in other areas.
But also, sometimes extrinsic reward can be really motivating. I want to purchase more expensive clothing without worrying about looking like a whale in them/not being able to pull them off. What about you guys?
[Humor] im going to heck
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 15:05:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3lz6/im_going_to_heck/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I thought I was supposed to get wiser with age...
/u/fatsatsuma
Created: Wed Jun 28 14:33:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3ef7/i_thought_i_was_supposed_to_get_wiser_with_age/
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I'm 32. Enough has happened in my lifetime to fill many lifetimes. I've lived an extraordinary life so far. I've done so much. I've achieved more than I ever thought I could. I have everything one could ask for.
And yet...I feel exactly as I always did. Nothing has changed in my head. But the number on the scale has changed what feels like a thousand times. I've been with the same man on and off since high school and he's in the same boat as I am so that doesn't help with this feeling of...non-movement?
I can look back and tally up all the incredible things that happened in my lifetime but none of it matters to me because of the number on the scale. I only have all the things I have by sheer luck, or by circumstance, I don't know. All I know is I shouldn't have it. I've actively worked against myself my whole life.
I thought this was something I could outgrow. For awhile, I had stopped purging and I thought I had won. And now I'm on Day 5 of a binge and purge cycle that I can't see myself breaking. My SO knows about my ED but as something "of the past." Because I don't want to disappoint him, I literally checked into a hotel to do this in private under the guise of a business trip rather than just...you know, not do this.
It's dawning on me that I've dropped close to a grand to indulge my ED this past week. Totally wasted money. I'm so disgusted with myself...I can't help but think about where all this money can go. I hate that I've been given every privilege in life and I go and mess it up with whatever the hell this situation is.
So. When will I learn? When do I wise up? 32 seems so old and I have another birthday coming up...another year to fuck up my life further until I no longer even have my SO. He'd leave me for good if he knew where I really was.
Anyone out there my age or older than I am? Any words of wisdom or encouragement? Will this ever stop?
[Help] Estimating Soup Calories
/u/Alkylhalides [5'2| 120.8 | 22.89 | -36.2 | UGW: 96 | 20 F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 14:24:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k3cex/estimating_soup_calories/
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http://imgur.com/a/EDjoW
My mom made soup recently and I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to have some to get some protein without actually eating. I don't eat any of the vegetables or meat, I only drink the broth. I tried putting it all into Lose It but I honestly don't trust it. What do you guys think?
Also does anyone have any recommendations on how to input it to Lose It/ mfp better? Because right now this is all "one serving" so I logged one coffee cup's worth of broth as 1/8th of a serving (289 cals). ED brain says that's way too many, normal brain says I'm only having the liquid so it makes sense. Ugh I hate this.
[Discussion] Has anyone tried castor oil?
/u/throwthisnonsense
Created: Wed Jun 28 14:12:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k39es/has_anyone_tried_castor_oil/
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I'm having a hard time with BMs and water retention. I've heard castor oil was worth a try. I need to poop so bad but can't.
Is there anything I should know about trying it?
[Rant/Rave] Just hit a new low today
/u/RedFoxDVM [5'3" | CW: 116 | -21 | UGW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 14:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k37rt/just_hit_a_new_low_today/
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So I have been really good at restricting for a while now, losing steadily, until today. I had to go to the grocery store to buy a tomato. As I was about to leave, I saw potato pancakes in the deli window. At that moment I snapped, but tried to keep some semblance of control and only bought one. Of course I couldn't wait to get home so I started eating it in the car, and I dropped most of it in between the dashboard and my seat. I drove home, dug the stupid pancake out from under the car seat, dusted it off, and I STILL FUCKING ATE IT. I then cried in the driveway for a bit before driving to Raising Canes and drowning my self hatred in fried chicken.
Why am I like this 🙃
[Help] My daughter is picking up on my obsessive tendencies and it's got me worried.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 13:59:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k362u/my_daughter_is_picking_up_on_my_obsessive/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I have the day off tomorrow.
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F 🚬]
Created: Wed Jun 28 13:44:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k32ar/i_have_the_day_off_tomorrow/
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I've been in this weird hermited obsessive space lately where I've just been sleeping until I have to wake up with just enough time to go to work, work, go straight home, eat, and watch TV/maybe read until I go to sleep. I feel kind of like a zombie that's a slave to calories and migraines.
I have the day off tomorrow entirely to myself and I don't want to waste it holed up inside my apartment.
Any suggestions?
[Goal] So happy and proud!
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Wed Jun 28 13:38:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k30tj/so_happy_and_proud/
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I hit a goal weight! 99.8, which still leaves me in normal weight but anytime I'm back under 100, I feel better. Before I started recovery over 2 years ago, I always said I would have to start purging the "real" way instead of just using lax if I got over 100. I've always hated being triple digits.
If I keep losing how I have been, I'll be just above 90 by school starting up. I'll get in quite a lot of trouble with my treatment team but maybe someone will start to take me seriously then. UGW is somewhere between 90 and 93 so that I can eat and wear my normal clothes and still be underweight when I'm weighed.
It feels wrong and secretive to be restricting down to an UGW but it's really not gonna be more than 10 to 15 pounds when all is done. I know I'm supposed to be recovering but I just don't get why I can't mentally recover and still be underweight.
There's a girl at my school who is obviously underweight and she's tall and skinny. Gorgeous model body. Why is she allowed to be underweight and I'm not?
Anyways, sorry for rambling, I'm so fired up and on the high of seeing my weight drop and I have no one to share it with! My friends/boyfriend will get mad at me and my one ED friend from treatment could be triggered so it's a secret now.
[Other] Wegman's find - 16cal each!
/u/kawaii_garbo
Created: Wed Jun 28 13:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k2ri4/wegmans_find_16cal_each/
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http://imgur.com/3lCIszx
[Rant/Rave] I'm going to residential treatment tomorrow
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 91.2 | 18.0 | -13 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 12:04:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k2dbt/im_going_to_residential_treatment_tomorrow/
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Well, the title sums it up pretty well. My psychiatrist, dietician, and staff at the treatment center where I've been doing IOP for two weeks (at the insistence of my parents) all recommend that I go into residential, and I'll be admitting tomorrow morning. I feel way way too disgusting and fat and ugly to need treatment, especially this level. I won't have my phone either I don't think, and my days will be eating so many fear foods and going to groups and gaining weight. I have to do this and get to a healthy weight for my parents to let me go back to college next semester, but I don't know if I can. I want recovery, because honestly freshman year sucked and I want to have fun and have friends and not be isolated in my dorm room all the time. But I feel like I won't be able to look at myself at a higher weight and no one will like me, especially not romantically.
Anyways, I'm not really sure why I posted this. I guess I just had to get the feelings out somewhere. Any advice would be really appreciated, or pen pals while I'm there. Thanks guys ❤️
[Tip] I HAVE DISCOVERED SOMETHING!
/u/skaggs123 [Height: 5'4 | CW:147| BMI: 25 | Weight Lost: 0 | Gender: F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 11:56:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k2b9t/i_have_discovered_something/
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So I live in Arizona and its been 110-120 degrees so I've been having to drink tons of water throughout the day. Water=bloating/weight gain. I've been drinking apple cider vinegar with water in the mornings for the past week and my bloating has gone significantly down! Like its not the best taste but you eventually get over it. I'm just glad to not be bloating as much lol.
[Rant/Rave] Just binged... going back and forth over whether to purge. (venting)
/u/imamoocow
Created: Wed Jun 28 11:30:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k24ns/just_binged_going_back_and_forth_over_whether_to/
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Ughhhh I fucked up. I just ate everything and now my stomach is so full and disgusting and I can feel it in my throat.
I've been trying to stop purging but I'm trying to rationalize it (just one more time...)... I don't know what to do. I feel gross and all I want in this world is to purge right now but my teeth are so bad, what if I keep doing it "one more time"? Or could this actually be the last time?
I just don't know what I should do. I'm sorry, I just really needed to vent, just trying to work out what I'm going to do.
[Discussion] Anyone tried to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time?
/u/Biebercel [174cm| CW: 58kg | GW: Thin]
Created: Wed Jun 28 11:24:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k2347/anyone_tried_to_quit_smoking_and_lose_weight_at/
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Its hard for me, i dont smoke much but i really like to smoke a cigarette at night when i'm feeling really hungry to deal with it, but i really hate that i'm smoking, i just dont know if i can keep from smoking and eating at the same time, just feels like a lot to ask of myself, i'd be like miserable all day long
[Rant/Rave] My goal is finally within reach and it's weird
/u/NaejNire [5'9 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 10:57:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1wbc/my_goal_is_finally_within_reach_and_its_weird/
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So my goal weight is finally within sight and it's the weirdest feeling. I wanted to be there before I start grad school in September and I could reach it by eating even 1200 cals a day! I don't plan to eat that many, so I could reach it even sooner.. that's mind-boggling to me.
It's a weight that has always seemed so out of reach and now that I'm so close, I don't know how to feel. I never thought I'd make it, so now what am I supposed to do once I'm there? I still hate my body now, so will I like it once I'm there? Will I maintain?
It's kind of scary but also kind of exciting. How have you guys felt once you reached a weight that you used to think was completely impossible? Did you ever actually feel good about yourself once you hit that ~*~*magical number*~*~ or did nothing change?
[Rant/Rave] Avoided a binge!!
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Wed Jun 28 10:41:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1se9/avoided_a_binge/
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amazing thing happened today, guys!!
So I had planned this day to be only 500 calories. My dinner and the last food of the day was supposed to be Questbar, but after eating it my binging urges took control and I ate like 400 calories of chocolate. Now, this wasn't the amazing thing. I felt really defeated and disappointed in myself, so I gave up and left to a food store to get more chocolate (as always, thanks ED)
However, once I got to the store, I was like, 'hey, the game's not lost. I've only eaten 900 calories today so if I take a long jog I'm still going to end up to 1000-calorie deficit (which is my main goal this week)'. And suddenly I only bought my breakfast oatmeal and nothing else. Not even a small chocolate bar. Then I went home, then I went jogging and now I've burned 1,900 calories. I feel so proud!!
Sorry for this novel, just wanted to tell someone because never before have I managed to avoid a binge once I've decided to have one.
[Help] Everything was perfect and it's all about to go to shit
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 10:29:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1pex/everything_was_perfect_and_its_all_about_to_go_to/
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Two things in my life have been perfect for eating.
A) I'm kind of a quiet loner at work (desk job) and no one notices/cares that I never eat, work out over lunch, drink excessive Coke Zero etc.
B) I live alone and have full-reign on what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat, and if I eat, not to mention what food I keep in the house. I have total control and balance. If I want to go out for drinks with friends, I am totally able to skip lunch and breakfast, have a drink and split an appetizer, and then skip dinner and all is well. Etc.
Well that's all about to change.
A) One of my closest friends just got a job at my work. Literally with an adjoining desk. One of my closet friends as in - I've told her everything, confided that I've been struggling with eating and not doing as well as I profess, AND I know that she has had body image issues and even had treatment for EDNOS in high school. I have no idea how to deal with this, but I feel like my safe place at work has been invaded. We work the same hours, have the same lunch break, etc. I don't know what to do... The last thing I want is to trigger her with my admittedly bad habits, but I can't stop working out every day unless I don't eat on those days. But I can't not eat without her noticing. Day 1 - I walked with her to a place for lunch, but didn't get any myself, saying that I'd snacked through my packed lunch earlier. Day 2, I worked out over lunch because we were going to hang out later. But I can't be a bad friend and abandon her at a new job for lunch every day. And I can't sit with her at lunch every day not eating anything myself.
HELP?
2) I'm getting married and (duh) moving in with the fiance/soon-to-be husband. I've been living alone for the past year and it has been A+ for eating/not eating whatever I want, whenever I want, and however much I want, and I loved it and now I'm really kind of terrified of no longer having that control. Fiance is aware of my food/body issues and we've had a couple almost-confrontations about my habits. One thing I've promised time and time again is that this is not a real issue and not going to be an issue in our marriage. But let's be real, I'm just going to have to be a hell of a lot better at hiding it. But now, I can't just skip eating at work in order to eat normally around him and I can't skip eating at home in order to eat normally around my friend at work.
Every semblance of control I thought I had is about to fly out the window. I'm trying to stay calm, but I need any advice/help anyone can offer!!!
[Discussion] Weird safe foods?
/u/flightlesspotato
Created: Wed Jun 28 10:14:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1lf8/weird_safe_foods/
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Do any of you have safe foods that wouldn't be considered safe by others?
I know that a lot of people are big on avoiding carbs like bread and rice but rice is actually one of my biggest safe foods. I live in Asia and had rice for almost every meal growing up. I feel that so long as I portion it and know how much calories are in each serving, it's fine because it's super filling and satisfying at the same time.
[Discussion] Thinspiration on Instagram?
/u/c_marier [5'6"| 110.2 17.8 | 23F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 10:00:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1hv5/thinspiration_on_instagram/
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What accounts do you follow for thinspo on Instagram? I don't necessarily mean traditional proana thinspo (it gets shut down so quickly - but I'll take it if you know of a good account!). A while ago someone mentioned the Southern Yogi and she is GOALS and I follow her now. Any one else like that who posts body pictures often and is very thin?
[Discussion] sagging, flat breasts after weight loss?
/u/liskovaa [21 | F | 5'4" | -25lbs. | 🍑 babycat]
Created: Wed Jun 28 09:58:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1h8e/sagging_flat_breasts_after_weight_loss/
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i'm assuming my starting weight is a *lot* higher than a lot of people here (i'm still too embarrassed to even write it down), but i was wondering if anybody here had experience losing a substantial amount of weight (50lbs+, 100lbs+, etc.) and would be willing to talk about how it effected breast shape? currently i wear a 40f and since they're so large they're already sagging and have been that way my whole life, but now that i'm 25lbs down i'm starting to notice they look even *more* flat and sad. i'm not sure if that's true or if it's just my body dysmorphia kicking in, but it's already killing my non-existent self esteem. i know all about loose skin and how it's going to be pretty much inevitable, but is there any way to preemptively help my breasts?
[Discussion] the high of a long term goal
/u/gameofboness
Created: Wed Jun 28 09:32:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1b1f/the_high_of_a_long_term_goal/
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nothing feels worse than having an event in like a week and realizing you didn't hit your goal weight for it.
praying that won't happen to me, because i have big vacations in october and december that i should hit my goals for if i just stay strong.
i get such a high with a long term goal where it still feels totally possible to hit my plans. i'm already dreaming of outfits.
do you all have any plans coming up this year? do long term plans motivate you or make you feel anxious?
[Other] 195 calorie brekkie/lunch!
/u/edthrowawaywhoops [5'9"| CW: 136| GW: Kate Middleton| F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 09:28:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k1a1d/195_calorie_brekkielunch/
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https://i.redd.it/svg1t0z6ne6z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else ever have trouble losing again after a binge phase?
/u/Throwawacct1992
Created: Wed Jun 28 09:25:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k19az/anyone_else_ever_have_trouble_losing_again_after/
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Ugh sorry, I just really need to vent. So I've been heavily restricting for awhile now, came within 3 lbs of my UGW and, lucky me, fell into a really rough binge phase that lasted about 3 weeks. I was still running and lifting daily during this period, but definitely gained. At the end of these 3 weeks, I was 7 lbs up. Ok fine, not as bad as I thought. Went back to restricting, but had one 2700-cal slip-up a couple weeks ago that caused me to gain 7 more lbs the next day. Figured it was just water weight -- it's not unusual for me to gain 5-10 lbs in water after a big binge, but it's usually gone within a week. Now it's been 3 weeks since then, and despite consistently restricting to 600-900 (I weigh my food) and running every day, the scale just won't budge. Last week, i did drop 5 lbs so I figured I'd let myself have 1200 on Saturday and Sunday because I ran 10 miles both days. Those 5 lbs came right back and now I'm still up 14 lbs. I'm so confused and demoralized right now because I've never had this happen before.
[Intro] Having a hard time, wanted to share my story with people who get it
/u/thelovelightsglowing
Created: Wed Jun 28 09:18:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k17he/having_a_hard_time_wanted_to_share_my_story_with/
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I am having a really hard time, and all the ED feelings that I thought were over are coming back even though my behavior fits in the parameters of healthy. Reading through this sub the past few weeks has helped me feel less alone in what I am going through.
I was a fat kid all through grade and middle school. People made fun of me, especially boys (I'm female). I entered high school and something clicked when I realized that I didn't have to be fat. I was reading a lot of proana blogs and Francesca Lia Block novels, and it became clear to me that not eating could actually result in weight loss. I stopped eating for a month or so, coffee and cigarettes and steamed or raw vegetables when I had to eat in front of my parents, and lost enough weight (maybe 10-15 lbs) that people didn't make fun of me anymore and I just looked normal even though I was still overweight. I felt strong and in control with the fasting, but I still didn't believe that I could ever be thin or even normal healthy weight.
I lost and gained weight over the rest of my teenagehood. Something switched drastically when I was 20 years old. I went through my first huge heart wrenching breakup, a tumultuous and difficult relationship with a man seven years older than me, and was raped shortly after that ended. My drinking got out of control, and I gave no fucks about what I ate. I put on weight really fast. I went from about 140 lbs to 170 lbs, my highest ever weight, in just a few months. I'm 5'1, so I was obese and looked as awful as I felt.
Something shifted again a year later; I wanted to have sex and look good and be normal and feel in control of my body again, and in my senior year of college, I developed a full on eating disorder. I made a rule that I couldn't eat more than 700 calories per day. I often ate less, but somehow 700 seemed like a reasonable amount. If I did eat more than my limit, I would purge. I was still miserable and my drinking was still out of control. I reached 135 lbs after three or four months, but I was weak and sickly, which made me very inactive, and the calorie counts at my dining halls were probably off, and I was drinking a lot, so I never got below 128 lbs.
I started eating again when I moved back in with my parents after graduation and gained some weight back, but I moved out fairly quickly and was poor and miserable and in a really unhealthy relationship, and all my food anxieties came back with a vengeance. My boyfriend was really into food, so I would fast whenever I wasn't around him so that we could eat his food together, which I only ate in very small amounts. I wasn't so great to him and was very depressed, but he was really nasty and manipulative with me and made a lot of comments about how I dressed and makeup and my hair and so on but didn't seem to notice the 10-15 pounds I lost in the last 2 months of our relationship, even though I dropped two clothes sizes. I got treatment for my depression, and we broke up shortly after.
I went on Wellbutrin, which made not eating even easier, and moved to New York at my lowest weight of 120 lbs. Even with the relationship in the middle, I was on a rage with my sex life after I lost enough weight to read as attractive, the middle of my senior year of college until the spring of my age 22. I made a lot of terrible choices and was raped twice more because of my bad decisions, but I felt so numb to it and like it was okay because I had put myself into the danger. I bounced between 120 and 135 pounds during that time, not thin but not really fat, and almost no one in New York had ever known me as fat or while I lost weight...it was like all this pain was erased and I was just a normal attractive woman.
Fast forward to today, and all these feelings are coming back even though my life has become much more stable. I have been in a great relationship for four years and we are engaged now. I struggle with my weight and body image of course, but since a bipolar diagnosis and proper meds, those feelings were less consuming. I'm in a great phd program now. Things should be good! But I reached my highest weight again from boredom eating and drinking and moving from a retail to sedentary job. I am disgusted with my what my body has become. I started lifting weights and tracking my calories and weight in March. I stay in the 1400-1800 range every day and have lost 20 pounds since I started. Healthy diet and exercise take forever. I look exactly the same at 153 and a size 10 as I did at 173 and a size 14. I am always filled with the desire to give up on my exercise and restrict severely. I've been toying with the idea of doing a 5/2 intermittent fasting diet just so I can experience the high of control and restriction that comes with those two fasting days. I tried doing one today but ended up having a vodka and movie popcorn so was at 1100 calories instead of the 600 I stuck to before 10 pm. I got the emotional high of fasting but no actual leg up on my weight loss from disciplined behavior. The only reason I haven't given up on weightlifting and the subsequent necessity to eat is because I hated how my body looked when I was at a healthy 120 pounds. I was bony but also had a droopy belly and back fat and even a bit of a double chin still (I have a horrible overbite that makes my chin weak no matter what). I looked good in my size 4 clothes but naked I looked almost as bad as before or maybe even worse, like a melting candle. I am hoping that building muscle will help, but I still have the desire to be actually thin and realize I can't do it healthily.
I'm closing in on my 27th birthday and feel as horribly about my body as I did when I was a teenager, maybe even worse because I have been a healthy weight and still looked fat, and it all feels so worthless working towards something I know will be unsatisfying.
I apologize for the super long post, but I feel so alone in these feelings and my struggle to be healthy when my brain isn't. I am objectively overweight and need to lose fat, but it all feels for naught because my body image is terrible. I have been a healthy weight before, but I have no idea how to be healthy.
[Discussion] Does anyone else do this?
/u/borrow_our_light [5'6| 132.2lbs | 21.42 BMI | GW 125 | UGW 115 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 08:44:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k0zl9/does_anyone_else_do_this/
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So this may seem a little strange but I am a cis female but having boobs makes me feel so uncomfortable, like there is more weight on my chest. So I bind, having a flat chest just makes me feel smaller. Does anyone else do this? I feel so weird being one of the only people I know who does this
[Other] Wishing for stability
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Jun 28 08:37:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k0y1y/wishing_for_stability/
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https://i.redd.it/4ererc92ee6z.jpg
[Other] Another doodle
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 08:29:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k0w5t/another_doodle/
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https://i.redd.it/med2d7qjce6z.jpg
[Other] Ok but what's happening to my hands???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 08:29:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k0w5s/ok_but_whats_happening_to_my_hands/
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https://i.redd.it/ddv39qpjce6z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] First post problems
/u/EllenEarMuffs
Created: Wed Jun 28 07:41:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k0n5d/first_post_problems/
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Hi everyone. I've just started to contribute today. Thank you for all the positive feedback I've experienced already.
I'm looking for help. I have a friend who just confessed to watching her first proana themed documentary. In a moment of deepest confession, she revealed to me that she felt moments of 'yeah, I sympathize with this'.
It kills me. I've been balls deep I'm all sorts of disordered and eating and weight literature for over 10 years now. The friend in question has had medical intervention to help their weight loss a few years back.
I cannot muster the required reaction to this. All I can do is wonder why they didn't research sooner. I'm irrationally pissed that they assumed this kind of content would be new to me or shock me.
I'm angry. And I want to not care or care in a way that helps.
[Rant/Rave] Anybody not really looking forward to To The Bone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 07:37:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k0m6j/anybody_not_really_looking_forward_to_to_the_bone/
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Don't get me wrong, looks like a solid movie, but I know when it comes out every special snowflake is going to claim they "tried anorexia" or make up an ED for attention, and it just doesn't sit well with me
[Other] me irl
/u/leberef
Created: Wed Jun 28 06:27:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k08p0/me_irl/
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http://i.imgur.com/WnuPHAh.png
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 28 06:12:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k05tc/daily_food_diary_june_28_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 28, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday June 28, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 28 06:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k05k0/way_to_go_wednesday_june_28_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for June 28, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] Does anyone one else have dreams about eating/binging?
/u/annan4 [5'5" | CW 154.5 | 26.01 | -15.9 | 18F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 05:45:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6k010a/does_anyone_one_else_have_dreams_about/
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I'm currently fasting, but last night I had a dream about binging on a pan full of chocolate cake/ brownies. When I woke up, I was so relieved to realize that I hadn't actually eaten anything, but it made me wonder if anyone else dreams about eating like I seem to do.
[Goal] Today is a different sort of accountability post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 05:05:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jzum2/today_is_a_different_sort_of_accountability_post/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Peach thread!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 05:01:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jzu30/peach_thread/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Had to stop purging because of my vag, of all things
/u/moonbear15
Created: Wed Jun 28 04:17:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jznv3/had_to_stop_purging_because_of_my_vag_of_all/
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Been suspecting that I've picked up a yeast infection/BV/std? for the past week. Doctor just gave me antibiotics and sent me on my way (fingers crossed my vag returns to normal!!)
Of course, this means no purging for the next 7 days or so until I've completed the full course of antibiotics. Today is actually the first time in 1.5 years that I have not purged at all. I'll have to be really careful with my food intake though. No binging.
Who would ever know that it would be my nasty vagina that made me to stop purging for once...
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] "I won't eat unless you do."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 28 03:36:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jzi9w/rant_i_wont_eat_unless_you_do/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] about comfort eating
/u/chuuta [5'4 | 120.3 | 20.6 | -8.3 | female]
Created: Wed Jun 28 02:50:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jzc90/about_comfort_eating/
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So, I've struggled with comfort eating for years. I still remember being 10 years old, watching TV and feeling super lonely and back then I always ate to make me feel better.
But here's something I've realized: Eating does not actually make you feel good. Yes, for a moment you may feel happy but I can guarantee the feeling will not last.
Waking up in the morning next to the boy you've been in love with for a year and him telling you how good you look is what happiness actually feels like. Or strangers staring at you when you're out because of how pretty you look. Or feeling confident when you're having sex. Honestly, eating can never ever _ever_ replace actual happiness or confidence. Sometimes you gotta pull though the rough times because it'll be so worth it.
(rant over, i really don't know where this came from haha)
[Goal] I've been good! Which OF COURSE means it's time to hate myself again
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 96.8lbs | 17.62 | HW 125lbs | LW 82lbs | 👨❤👨]
Created: Wed Jun 28 02:36:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jzaj5/ive_been_good_which_of_course_means_its_time_to/
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I did what I said I was gonna do, and ate at maintenance for awhile.
I only "lost" .2 lbs since last update to my stats. (I've not got a linear perception of time though so I'm not sure how long ago it was but I know I've been at this weight for awhile)
I started on heavier restriction again yesterday. Today I've mostly just had tea, and a few bites to placate my friend bc she felt like bringing me food at work (AND IT WAS TACO BELL AND I DIDN'T EAT IT ALL. I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT AND I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF)
I CAN do this.
I WILL do this.
It IS possible.
I'm NOT a failure.
I GOT THIS. 🍃
Edit: okay so I went back and looked at this and what even...also apparently it's been 17d of this weight smh okay I felt like it was SOOOOOOO much longer ugh lol but that's still good? I guess? Ugh I GOTTA get back to restriction I'm gross
[Rant/Rave] I've been binging all week and I'm really sad because my cousin's wedding is this weekend.
/u/Profeshed
Created: Wed Jun 28 01:46:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jz4d1/ive_been_binging_all_week_and_im_really_sad/
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Last month I was doing so well with normal-ish dieting (1200/day) and I lost 7 lb. I only had a few more to go to be reasonably happy (not my UGW but close enough to feel good) but instead I got into a bad binging phase. My appetites just been out of control. My brains been in IDGAF mode, and Instead of losing more I've gained like 3 lb of fat back. Of course, I'm so bloated that the last few days the scale shows that I'm 7-12 lb heavier instead. I look like I'm pregnant. My digestion is already so fucked up, probably caused by all my years of b/p and there is just so much gas in my stomach. Unless I can eat super clean starting tomorrow (and I'm visiting tomorrow) I'm going to look and feel so gross in my dress. I had the dress fitted just slightly too tight as it is because when I had it fixed I was on track on my diet.
I wanted to try to be in recovery mode but fuck this because I've just been binging. I don't understand how people manage to restrict so low, especially when you're around people all day? I'd be ok with around 1000-1200 (my TDEE is anywhere between 1750-2100 per day) daily over this weekend (I don't want to feel faint, or worse, restrict so much that I binge awfully) but even that is so fucking hard for me right now because once I'm in binge mode my brain just doesn't care.
I wanted to feel pretty in my dress 😔
EDIT: I'm packing ephedrine but I need to be able to fall asleep at night. I've taken it a lot before but only in the morning. Can I take it in the evening or will that screw up my sleep? I can't have more than two cups of coffee in the morning...and even more than 1 might be pushing it to be able to fall asleep at night.
[Other] Does anyone wanna be friends on myfitnesspal?
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | *CRYING INTENSIFIES* | why | 13.4kg |]
Created: Wed Jun 28 00:30:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jytx7/does_anyone_wanna_be_friends_on_myfitnesspal/
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DM me and we can trade usernames. I attempt recovery, eat like shit and binge a lot, so you'll have lots of reading material going through my food diary, lol.
[Discussion] Restricting without calorie counting
/u/ASAPfeline [5'5" | CW: 116 | 19.3 standard | F]
Created: Wed Jun 28 00:21:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jysho/restricting_without_calorie_counting/
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Have any of you had success with switching from rigid calorie counting to just restricting? I feel like numbers consume too much of my mental real estate and I kinda wanna just try eating as little as possible without recording or weighing what I eat. Anyone have experience with a change in approach like this? I almost feel like I would eat less this way bc sometimes I'll feel full off of 700 cals total near the end of the day but I'll think something like "oh I could easily eat another 250 calories tonight and not feel too guilty" and end up eating more than I "need to" (lol)
[Thinspo] Started watching Shameless and...Emmy Rossum 😍
/u/bumblebee945 [5"2| CW: 😷 | GW: 90 ]
Created: Tue Jun 27 23:02:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jyg8x/started_watching_shameless_andemmy_rossum/
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https://i.redd.it/cuk30o08jb6z.png
[Rant/Rave] Hovering between the same 5 pounds because I can't stop biiiingiiiiiing 🤷🏼♀️
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 22:44:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jydfk/hovering_between_the_same_5_pounds_because_i_cant/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Going shopping tomorrow any things I for sure need to get?
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Tue Jun 27 22:20:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jy9cf/going_shopping_tomorrow_any_things_i_for_sure/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jy9cf/going_shopping_tomorrow_any_things_i_for_sure/
[Discussion] Digestive and BM problems/ TMI warning
/u/burningthroughtime
Created: Tue Jun 27 22:19:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jy99z/digestive_and_bm_problems_tmi_warning/
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Have you guys fucked up your digestive system and bowel movements? Cause I did. Big time. It's like my digestive system cannot process food at all and it is storing it and my BM are so rare. I am in constant pain. I am visiting the doctor quite often now (she's not aware of my ED) to see if I can find a cure or something. I'll even have a colonoscopy in about a month. I keep thinking that my body absorbs all the food instead of processing it and eliminating it and that's why I am so fat and keep gaining weight. Please tell me about your experiences. What to expect.
[Rant/Rave] True heartbreak can be the best type of disordered eating
/u/prettyybabyyprincess
Created: Tue Jun 27 22:08:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jy7d3/true_heartbreak_can_be_the_best_type_of/
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Obviously for someone with no history of disordered eating, this could easily go the other way.. but god damn getting my heart broken makes it so easy to just not eat.
It's effortless!!! Disgusting to even think about consuming anything.
I'm going to look better than when I was with him and it'll be the sweetest revenge
[Discussion] What's it like at your work? How does this affect your ED?
/u/starpocalypse [4'10 | justfat | GW: 77 | 20F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 21:34:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jy18r/whats_it_like_at_your_work_how_does_this_affect/
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My office has maybe 80-90% overweight to extremely obese people. At first I thought this would be a good place for my ED so I wouldn't be focused on who's "thinner" and feel like a whale, but it's probably done the opposite effect (in a good way, I guess!). Facing my biggest^^lolpun fear on a daily basis has probably honestly heightened my ED even more.
How have the people around you affected you and your ED?
[Discussion] The need for constant stimulation?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -5 lb | ugw 99]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:55:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxtzk/the_need_for_constant_stimulation/
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I feel like I'm always looking for something to do that isn't thinking about food. I have two screens and when my fiance is asleep I'll have one playing youtube videos and I'll browse on the other. I have a desperate need to occupy my brain, especially at the end of the day with nothing but tea to have. Does it get better as time goes on?
[Tip] So I found an app called Eat This Much and I think it might be realllly useful
/u/EmpressAdrianne [🦄5'10"|CW167|GW 💀|SW225|F🦄]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:53:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxtp1/so_i_found_an_app_called_eat_this_much_and_i/
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Like the title says, this app has all kinds of cool features! You basically tell it what kinds of foods you do or don't want in your diet (or pick categories like vegan or anything or paleo), the max you want to spend per day (budget), you can set goals for calorie intake (it doesn't care what # you enter, will allow below 1,000cal), and it basically comes up with all these random little quick recipes for each meal of the day! You can even swap out individual meals if you don't like one or don't have those ingredients, or have recurring ones. If macros management is important to you it has that feature as well. This isn't even all it does but it's the main ones.
It *will* dodge making some calculations if you entered a goal weight below a "normal" BMI, and instead just calculates half your current maintenance needs. But like I said if done solely through calorie intake you can put pretty much whatever you want (I put 300/day at 5'10" to test it and it actually calculated a meal plan)
There's some paid features too like it'll let you plan out for a week and it even compiles a shopping list based on that but I haven't tried it since it's $8.99 a month or $60 for a year (yikes!😳). Everything I've messed around with was free though.
So wether you're losing, gaining or maintaining, I think this might be useful for someone like me always wanting to learn new recipes to keep things from being so mundane.
[Thinspo] Insta Thinspo Album
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxsqb/insta_thinspo_album/
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https://imgur.com/a/8Y6HX
[Other] My <200 cal summer standby! Recipe in comments.
/u/negative_delta [5'9.5" | CW 143.2 | 20.4 | GW 130 | 20F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:38:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxqp1/my_200_cal_summer_standby_recipe_in_comments/
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http://i.imgur.com/5cPJLUS.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Day 2 of indefinite water fast finished :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:37:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxqdn/day_2_of_indefinite_water_fast_finished/
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[deleted]
[Help] Does anyone order food/drinks from amazon?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:36:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxqan/does_anyone_order_fooddrinks_from_amazon/
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So since I'm starting Uni and I'm not going to be on the meal plan, I was wondering if anyone buys any staple foods or snacks or drinks from amazon. :)
[Rant/Rave] Just had someone for the first time tell me I looked Anorexic
/u/Remembr_When
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:32:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxplj/just_had_someone_for_the_first_time_tell_me_i/
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*Longish Rant/Emotional outlet*
So I'm a 21 (m). From 17-20 I struggled really bad with heroin addiction, and developed a body dysmorphia problem starting around 13, after growing up as a fat pre-pubescent teen.
I've always enjoyed lurking pro-ED sites and boards, still with proana as my mobile homepage, though nobody knows this.
My partner knows I've struggled but I never let on how much, and they're heavier than I am. I'm 6'4", haven't weighed myself, last time I did I was at 155, an all time low! I was so ecstatic. For the past year though I got on suboxone, and I smoke atleast a pack a day. I still eat a meal a day, and even eat well now. My metabolism has picked up so quick and with the drugs, it's just... I have that magical emotion of feeling like a "celebrity" again, and it's so unhealthy and I secretly don't even care.
I finally have enough money to buy all the nice things I've ever wanted; Louis Vuitton belts, handmade leather bags, etc. This is great for me as I grew up in a low-middle class household that rose up from the bottom class. I used to always go to this one jewelry store in particular to sell jewelry I obtained from here and there, and there was an early 30s, Russian woman with whom I built a decent relationship with. I hadn't seen her in two years.
I walked in and she was there and immediately recognized me, she's like "Turn! Turn, turn!" And so I did, and she says "You need to eat! You starting to look unhealthy, anorexic! Is no good!"
I could only struggle out a "well, I mean.. uh.. I mean, I eat.. I mean I guess I've had issues, but like you know." But in my head all I can think is "Finallllyyyyyy!!!"
I'm pretty sure I'm clocking in at around 140-145 now, and like. I have more muscle than I had in the past and my tummy is finally basically gone! I have my defined jawline and long legs, the only annoying thing is I knock my knees together all the time and elbow my hip bones (>. <).
Nobody has ever really understood me. And I feel guilty talking about it with my (genderqueer AFAB) partner. I find them to be so beautiful! But I have my own issues too. I've just been so stressed out lately, it was just really nice to finally hear that from someone when I feel like nobody notices. Or maybe I'm just starting to feel like people are faster to put me down for wanting to be this way. (As a guy I feel like anytime I mention my discontent with weight, or my weight issues, they're automatically pushed aside because it's 'uncommon', and not a masculine subject to begin with, so therefore I'm disqualified from the start. I'm not really in much of a position to say much on that, but I'm just hoping somebody understands; I'm sure it could be written more succinctly.)
*End rant*
Tl;dr: Drugs make me skinny and an old acquaintance who called me Anorexic secretly made me giddy.
[Rant/Rave] Had a bad day how to bounce back?
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:32:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxpl9/had_a_bad_day_how_to_bounce_back/
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Was at work and a burger for lunch it was so fucking disgusting but then I became a fuck it mood after that and now I'm bloating so much and I wanna cry
[Help] Well maybe I'm not as sneaky as I thought
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:26:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxoii/well_maybe_im_not_as_sneaky_as_i_thought/
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Shit.
So quick background: I have to log meals on an app my dietician reads. Lately I've been a little sketchy in doing so (mainly because I'm tired of lying) but I was figuring on passing it off, at least this past weekend, on a big event I was involved with. My therapist called me for a quick change in our appointment time, and because she is who she is (and to be clear, I love her for this) she decided to discuss this with me. My dietician had shared my non-existent logs with her, AND said that it seemed like I was holding back at our last appointment. Me, reading into EVERYTHING (and extra read into it being a healthcare professional) could tell that was gentle code for "we think you're lying again." Well, they're right... but I'm just not ready to admit that shit.
I had to say I wasn't doing something. So the challenge of having pizza was brought back to the table. I have to take a fucking before and after picture to prove I did it. Tomorrow. I know one slice of pizza won't kill me, I've done it before and I have to do some physical shit where I plan on eating (at rehearsal) and I'm moving soon so food is a good thing. I hate that I'm going to lie about restricting the rest of the day to make myself okay with it, and I hate that that is what it takes to have something my friends have on the regs...
It's okay to have one slice of pizza right? Right? Ugh. I hate this fucking ED.
[Rant/Rave] I hate my little sister. Not, like, hate her; I actually love her, but, you know...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:21:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxng0/i_hate_my_little_sister_not_like_hate_her_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Thanks Facebook memories...[Rant]
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57kg | BMI 19.05 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:19:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxmyh/thanks_facebook_memoriesrant/
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This time two years ago I went on an amazing trip to Canada to see my best friend.
I had lots of photos taken.
Wow. I was fucking huge. I'm so embarrassed.
[Help] mapmyrun is a lying jerk?
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw-2fat // wl-n/a (yet) // bmi-29 // gw-101]
Created: Tue Jun 27 20:13:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxlsv/mapmyrun_is_a_lying_jerk/
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real question/statement:
theres no way in fucking hell mapmyrun is accurate for calories burned right? it says i burned 200 for a 2.5km run that seems waaaaay too much
[Discussion] does anyone here do morning mantras?
/u/fuck_you_get_pumped
Created: Tue Jun 27 19:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxfnz/does_anyone_here_do_morning_mantras/
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i thoroughly recommend them. they really help you focus on what's right and help you be happy and determined.
if this post gets a lot of attention, i'll post my mantras/quotes/idioms/etc. i have a ton of them. ☺️ be sunny, dearies! i just want y'all to be happier 😊
i'm on mobile... mods please tag as discussion? thank you so much, darlings!
[Rant/Rave] down the dysmorphia hole..
/u/deadlikeisaac
Created: Tue Jun 27 19:33:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxdxx/down_the_dysmorphia_hole/
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Please tag as rant/rave since it's just me rambling..
This started as a means of having control. It's actually had an incredible positive effect on my anxiety. I've been trying to do 1200 cal a day for the past month because I started a very physically taxing job and was afraid of passing out. But now I actually feel more disgust for myself than I ever did before. My scale doesn't work half the time so I really don't know for sure what I weigh, but - work pants I bought 3 weeks ago are now too big. Work belt I bought at the same time now goes over to the last notch. I thought my face was dirty today but it was really a shadow from my face getting smaller?? There's obviously signs I'm getting smaller, no doubt from moving more and still watching how much I eat buuut it just doesn't feel like enough. I'm gonna go back to 1000 and see how it goes.
[Rant/Rave] bulimia relapse
/u/cinnamoncactus [5'6'' |114🐞|GW100|18.4|-99|F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 19:16:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jxaj9/bulimia_relapse/
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Title says it. I've swung in many directions with my ED and have never been diagnosed, let alone admit it to a therapist. I started with bulimia 7 years ago and went to anorexic tendencies with occasional b/p and then to orthorexic tendencies mainly until this past month. I've been exercising more than ever and just one day decided to binge a ton and then purge it and do it over and over again. I just had to. I haven't binged as much as the binge that opened this floodgate a monthish ago, but I'm really disappointed in myself. I've slowed it down to 2-4x per week but on top of relapsing purging, I've been taking laxatives and I've never done that before. I feel so ashamed.
I've been sleepwalking every night and have been going outside during these episodes and I feel like it's connected or something. This is normal for me but I've rarely gone outside and it's scaring me.
The kicker is I've lost weight and inches. I want to go back to light restricting and normal amounts of exercise. I can handle and truly enjoy the hour or two of cardio and weight lifting along with frequent walking but I've been doing 3-5 hours for this month daily and I feel suicidal and manic if I don't. Here's to 24 hours of trying to be back to my normal. Today and yesterday I've tapered it back down but I feel like a bat outta hell still. Like I've been smoking a shit ton of weed (indica too) and I'm still bouncing off the walls. Sorry for this jumbled mess I just have no one to talk to about this. Only one friend of mine knows and she barely knows the extent of what I do. I feel insane or something.
Edit: Also was a dumbass and did this while recovering from a concussion. Use me as a PSA and don't do that
[Help] Bikram Yoga?
/u/heartbrokenandok [5'7"-ish | 189 | 29-ish | -32.8| F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 19:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jx880/bikram_yoga/
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Has anyone here tried bikram yoga? This place literally up the street from me is running a special where I can get unlimited classes for $50 for the first month since I'm new.
I've heard great things about how many calories you burn and what a good work out it is. And the website said it promotes injury healing (which would be great since I'm recovering from an elbow sprain). But I'm kind of concerned.
How hard is it? And how worried do I have to be about passing out?
I usually don't eat until right before bed, so I wouldn't plan on eating until after (although I might be able to fit in a high protein snack if I really have to). I know hydration is key, so I would be trying to drink constantly all day to ensure I'm good before class.
Basically, I'm just looking for people with experience with hot yoga, specifically Bikram, and whether its really worth it.
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] I was supposed to be at my GW by now
/u/thukui [GOTTA GO FAST]
Created: Tue Jun 27 18:47:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jx4af/i_was_supposed_to_be_at_my_gw_by_now/
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I knew I was moving in 2 months and I had plenty of time to lose the weight I needed to. Now I only have 5 days and i've gained at least 15 pounds.
The worst part is I'm going to see my sister who loves making fun of me being "squishy" and chubby. I haven't seen her for a year and I was so excited to be skinny when I met her, maybe even skinnier than she is! Then she couldn't make fun of me!
But no, I was 130 pounds last year and I'm 127 right now. my weight has gone up and down all year but i'm right back where I started.
I've been crying for hours everyday because I can't stand to look at my body, and you'd think that would motivate me to restrict but instead I've been binging everyday. I hate this so much and because it's summer I can't even hide my disgusting body with jeans and sweaters.
Honest curiosity from someone who doesn't quite get it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 18:39:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jx2ik/honest_curiosity_from_someone_who_doesnt_quite/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My first 24 hr (near) fast in months and a reintroduction
/u/SpitAndPennyStyle [5'2" |SW:~185lbs | CW: 151.4lbs *drinks bleach*| GW:100 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 18:23:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwz5a/my_first_24_hr_near_fast_in_months_and_a/
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Hello, lovelies! You may or may not have seen me in the comments section recently but I figured I'd formally reintroduce myself. I was around last summer and through the fall. I then had some stressful events happen (sisters family went abroad and my roommates basically forced me out of my living space they were so hostile) and fell away from reddit. I gained weight, panicked, and lost a bit again before I remembered you guys. I am ten minutes away from completing my first 24 hour near-fast (near because I ate a couple rice cakes so fiance wouldn't get suspicious, only 70 cal). It looks like I'm officially back on this carousel so I'm glad I have you guys and gals.
[Tip] Super healthy, filling "Sunshine" Salad
/u/ZOMGROFLCOPTER [170CM | 65KG CW | 50KG GW | 47KG LW | 35F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 18:18:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwy1d/super_healthy_filling_sunshine_salad/
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Someone asked recently about an idea for a meal where it looked like you were eating more than you really were, and I think this salad I eat for lunch every day nails that. Anyone seeing me eat it wouldn't think to question the tiny dinner portion, or skipping dinner at all, because it's so packed full of nutrients and BIG in volume. Like, you seriously need a big bowl for it.
Not to mention, I max out the servings on the highest cal items (seeds, edamame) and it comes in at just over 450 cal so you could cut those right down and get it under 400 easy. I feel like if I'm going to only eat [x] times a day, I better make it worth it for my body.
I feel SUPER full after this too and it's so nice to look at while you eat, colour wise, it just feels like happiness and sunshine :)
I put mandarian/tangerine segments in it and when they squish up they act like a dressing of sorts - or you could just straight out squeeze a fresh orange over it.
[macro breakdown/ingredients via MFP](http://imgur.com/a/jXcfu)
FYI: Kumara is the NZ (Maori) word for Sweet Potato; and I do peel and slice that and bake in the microwave till nice and squishy :)
[Rant/Rave] Shoplifting trigger binge?
/u/foodfornot [5'3" | CW 122 | LW 111 | | HW 142 | 26F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 17:43:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwqpi/shoplifting_trigger_binge/
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For almost a month I've been really good: eating 1200 calories a day in 6 small meals like a normal human being. Not fasting or binging - it's great. Today I went to the grocery store on my lunch break to buy a seaweed salad. While I was there the international section caught my eye... I was staring at all weird sorts of lifesavers and chocolate aero bars from Europe and I literally don't know what the fuck happened. I guess I decided to steal the gummy lifesaver things (bc they were stupidly expensive) and while I was at it I stole a chocolate bar too thinking "it's 200 calories - I'll just split it with someone." Nope.
I ate all of that shit on my walk back to work and then I went out again on another break to get froyo and on my way back stopped at a fucking dunkin' doughnuts. Then I ate all of my healthy food that I keep at my desk (diet soups and protein shakes). What. The. Fuck. Whhyyyyy do I do this? If only I didn't steal that candy...
[Rant/Rave] I promised my boyfriend I'd eat but I don't have access to any safe foods
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 17:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwmtd/i_promised_my_boyfriend_id_eat_but_i_dont_have/
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Earlier I donated blood for the first time and it's apparently important to eat/drink plenty of water after to get your blood sugar levels + fluids back to normal.
My boyfriend knows about my restricting/fasting and I agreed to eat a proper meal today because it's important to him. Anyway I'm at work now and I don't have any safe foods near me, I don't know what to do and I'm worried I'm going to binge. I've been doing extremely well at not letting myself do it lately but I'm worried that with the excuse of my promise I'll just buy whatever.
I had a matcha frapp from Starbucks when I got to work and it had 440cal, which is already over my usual daily calories.
I don't get off work until 11pm either so I can't just run to a grocery store and I work right downtown.
I'm probably just going to have to get sushi or something light that still counts as a real meal but that's still more than I'd prefer.
I weighed myself when I got to work and I dropped 2lbs(!!), not sure whether it's extreme water weight or not though. I'll find out tomorrow.
Edit - I just remembered I could always purge after but I've been trying so hard not to go back to it. Ugh. Then I might as well just not eat.
[Tip] Guys, my day just keeps getting better...calorie free dressing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 17:23:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwmqz/guys_my_day_just_keeps_getting_bettercalorie_free/
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https://i.redd.it/wa33e65hu96z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] A compliment on something I despise about myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 17:15:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwl14/a_compliment_on_something_i_despise_about_myself/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] on restriction and self-forgiveness
/u/bleary-eye-d-blue
Created: Tue Jun 27 17:12:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwkci/rantrave_on_restriction_and_selfforgiveness/
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when you don't meet a restriction goal, it's so easy to fall into that self-loathing mindset. you call yourself a disgusting failure and wonder, *where is my willpower? what is wrong with me?*
but restricting isn't like giving up chocolate for lent. at the core of it, you're depriving yourself of the thing you need to stay alive. you're asking your body to overcome millions of years of evolutionary instinct to **not die.** ED brain normalizes the enormity of this task and tells you that you are weak and that you have failed. the truth is that you're strong for even trying and especially, on some miraculous days, fucking *succeeding*.
it's the hardest thing in the world but sometimes i have to step back and forgive myself for being a human being, for living in a body that wants to keep living. starving yourself is punishment enough -- when i can manage it, i try to let the punishment end there and start again tomorrow.
you are so strong. no matter what your ED tells you. 💕
[Rant/Rave] sad/funny convo with the bf this weekend
/u/fuck_you_get_pumped
Created: Tue Jun 27 16:55:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwgqf/sadfunny_convo_with_the_bf_this_weekend/
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this is a long one; i'm sorry. tl;dr: eating out is hard.
so on friday i went to a concert with my bf. we got into town around four, and at seven he said, "i'm hungry; let's go get pho." he's 5'10" and 115lb so i'm never gonna deny him a chance to eat. (he's one of those weird motherfuckers who forgets to eat. sometimes for days at a time. no shit. no ed; he's just amazingly scatterbrained.) so we go to the vietnamese place.
side note: i came out to him about my ed a couple weeks ago. he's tried to be accepting about it since he also usually eats once a day so he can't judge. he's only tried to fight me about my eating once. (i won, hehe.)
on this friday, i'd told him i'd been good and had 400 calories of rajma masala and a banana for brunch... so i would be all good for the show that night. but... of course that was at noon, and my stomach was noticeably growling by the time we got to the vietnamese joint. fuck you, stomach!
my stupid belly's sold me out and i don't want to awkwardly sit there while bf eats, cause i know he'll give me shit for it. so, he gets pho and i order... ohfuck i haven't eaten at a restaurant in years, shit, what do i pick, i hate making decisions, ah fuck...
he pipes up, "the mock duck and veggies in curry sauce looks like something you'd enjoy." i am immediately relieved that he has made a decision for me and blurt, "YES" and close the evil demon menu vigorously. when the little asian man who owns the place comes to take our order, i stutter out the dish's name. when was the last time i'd asked someone for food?
i decide to not even attempt to count the calories. just don't think about it. don't think about it! to distract myself from the realization that i just ASKED someone for FOOD and it's probably gonna be incredibly high-calorie, i babble to the bf about mock duck, how it tastes like bread cause it's made out of wheat gluten, how it's also called seitan, how i got this neat sticker from this vegetarian restaurant with a pentagram and the words "hail seitan" on it, and ohshit there's our food.
i will not die if i eat two fat-laden meals in one day, even if i have a half-dozen pints of cider at the show that night. i will not die. i may gain a bit of weight but i won't die.
set the white rice to the side. "i don't eat white bread or white rice." the dish doesn't look too bad; it's mostly broccoli. shit. it's delicious.
i try to eat it as slowly as i can. i try to enjoy it as much as possible. i should've smoked before we came here.
i tell him my eating disorder therapist would be proud of me, for going to a restaurant, for eating off a 12" plate. i haven't done either in years.
at the end of the meal, i have a couple pieces of seitan on my plate, and i set my chopsticks down to drink water.
bf asks, "done?"
-goddamn you-
i freeze up. i was going to eat those last couple pieces. but he asked if i was done. that means i should be done, right? fucccck...
i shrink into myself, all tense like i'm gonna has a panic attack. then, not wanting to freak in public, i force a few deep breaths. perhaps against better judgement, i eat the seitan anyway. to prove that i didn't have to listen to the disorder, or because it was delicious and i'm a glutton? both, i guess.
i point at him with my chopsticks, and, wincing, still choked up from anxiety, say: "please don't ever comment on my eating habits ever again. it fucks with me."
he says, "all right."
then do you know what he fucking says?
"you know, that's the most i've ever seen you eat in one sitting. congrats."
*warning bells clanging*
"i know you meant it as a compliment, but don't EVER say that either."
i love him to pieces, but goddamn. normies are so difficult.
we went back to our hostel and i smoked a bowl on the porch to stop thinking about what he said. the concert was rad and i didn't die. the end.
[Help] Should I throw out my scale?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 16:44:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jwe7o/should_i_throw_out_my_scale/
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[deleted]
[Help] Help finding long post about how we eat more calories than we think?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 16:24:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jw9or/help_finding_long_post_about_how_we_eat_more/
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[deleted]
[Other] I started working at a grocery store...
/u/TheMostExoticFlower [5'4 | -55lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 16:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jw6s0/i_started_working_at_a_grocery_store/
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Yeah, I recently started working at a grocery store. I was worried I would lose self-control when surrounded by food all the time but... I love it! My breaks are short, don't really have much time to do anything else but have a smoke and maybe take a quick bite of something. It's also a super busy place so I don't even have time to notice I'm getting hungry and usually time is flying.
But you know, like I said I was worried I would lose control. The exact opposite happened! I feel like I'm becoming sort of desensitized to food. Last time I grocery shopped after work and noticed there was a new chocolate bar and I really wanted to give it a try. I picked it up and then just thought, eh, these will be here tomorrow and the day after and... there's just not the same impulse anymore. The food is simply not as appealing anymore. I haven't worked there for so long yet but I really hope this won't change.
I'm kinda trying recovery. Sort of. On my own. Ummm. We'll see how this goes. Idk, maybe this was a pointless post but I feel like this is the only place where I feel people can understand the real reasons why I like my job. And I just wanted to share this.
Is anyone else here working in a grocery shop? If so, what's your experience relating to your ED?
[Rant/Rave] Bulimia consequences 🙃
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5/83.8lbs]
Created: Tue Jun 27 16:01:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jw4mx/bulimia_consequences/
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Just googled "light burning sensation in stomach" because thats been going on for a couple of days.
Long story short, there so many possible conditions and my heavy binging and purging could have caused all of them.
Stay healthy and safe guys, don't start purging if you haven't already. God I hate myself
[Discussion] Favorite things to do with spinach?
/u/skinnysoleil [5'4 | SW: 165 | CW: 152 | GW: 99 by 2018]
Created: Tue Jun 27 15:52:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jw2po/favorite_things_to_do_with_spinach/
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I have a BUNCH of spinach I wanna use up.. Other than putting a handful in smoothies, does anyone have suggestions on what to do with it? I have a hugeeee bag of it.
[Rant/Rave] It's funny- I restrict/fast as a means of having control in my life, but the ED has definitely gotten out of my control.
/u/HufflePuffPrid3 [4'11 | 84 | 17 | -19 | F ]
Created: Tue Jun 27 15:32:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvxzb/its_funny_i_restrictfast_as_a_means_of_having/
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I obsessively restrict as a means of control and as a way to feel successful.
But it's controlling me. I don't want it anymore, but I always lose the fight against the part of me that wants health.
[Help] Question | How quickly do you lose weight at a time?
/u/Onthedownlowplz [5'8|cw51.4kg|bmi16.4|M19]
Created: Tue Jun 27 15:22:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvvql/question_how_quickly_do_you_lose_weight_at_a_time/
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I just weighed myself this morning and went from 54kg to 52.2kg, I imagine there is an element of water weight but i'm just confused. I weigh myself every day and just float around 54kg +- 1kg.
Also I went from 10.5% body fat to 5.1% does that even sound possible or did I do my measurements wrong like a month ago (my last check)?
Thanks :)
[Goal] 34 Hours into Liquid Fast
/u/abagofnudesloths [5'3 | CW 133.6 | GW 110 | WL -46.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 15:21:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvvh2/34_hours_into_liquid_fast/
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Keeping strong at 34 hours on a liquid no cal fast and I actually feel okay. You guys are the other ones who could appreciate this right now! Hope everyone is meeting their goals and having a good day :)
-Sloth
[Discussion] [Discussion] harm reduction?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: anywhere between 103-107 | GW: 99 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 14:45:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvmtb/discussion_harm_reduction/
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What do you guys do to try and minimise the harm from your ED to your body and appearance? I'm thinking I should start being more proactive in that area.
[Rant/Rave] Headed to PHP on Monday for a projected 8 weeks
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW 111 | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 14:42:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvm6c/headed_to_php_on_monday_for_a_projected_8_weeks/
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Starting Monday, I'll be admitted to partial hospital, and they are estimating 8 weeks of treatment. This is a M-F, 8AM-4:30PM program.
I'm going to be treated at the same place I go to med school; I'll be on medical leave for probably one 12 week block. Before my inpatient hospitalization in November and December, I was actually scheduled to start my psychiatry clinical clerkship this coming Monday. Now I'll be starting there as a patient on that day instead. *That* feels like a swift kick to the abdomen.
And a few of my classmates, of course, will be there, with a new set of classmates rotating there after four weeks. It's going to be SO hard to see them. Like, I'm supposed to BE one of them, not be studied by them. I suspect I'll feel a bit like I'm in a zoo. In any case, it's going to be devastating.
And JFC, I don't want to gain weight. I do want my brain to get better. I don't want to gain weight. I'm not even critically underweight, especially once you add water and food weight. I feel like I'm going to be too fat to be there, and they'll see me as a waste of time.
I'm just so antsy about it. I don't know what to do or how to feel or how to expect how I'll handle it. They are going to feed me breakfast and lunch. I am inclined to not eat at night and on weekends, but with eight weeks of room for weight gain, I could only get away with that for so long.
I guess maybe I'm just looking for commiseration. Anyone have any PHP stories? Any words of advice? I know this is what I need, but I don't want to do this. :(
[Humor] I know you mean well
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Tue Jun 27 14:25:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvhvu/i_know_you_mean_well/
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https://i.redd.it/ed6c7q47z86z.jpg
[Humor] So relatable that it hurts.
/u/losemore [5”9.5 | -40lb | 21F | UGW 100lbs ]
Created: Tue Jun 27 14:20:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvgr2/so_relatable_that_it_hurts/
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https://i.redd.it/1mc3e15dy86z.jpg
[Discussion] What's been on your mind today? Good, bad, or anything in between.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 14:15:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jvfh2/whats_been_on_your_mind_today_good_bad_or/
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ED related or not, doesn't matter. How are you doing?
[Other] Hey guys... I think we mighta just did sumthin
/u/Fatisserie
Created: Tue Jun 27 13:34:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jv57g/hey_guys_i_think_we_mighta_just_did_sumthin/
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https://youtu.be/-xrWewuJ2JM
[Rant/Rave] I'm gonna have to be naked in front of someone in a few hours
/u/pcrnography [ -84 lbs | king of water retention]
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:49:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jutn6/im_gonna_have_to_be_naked_in_front_of_someone_in/
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Like, of course I don't have to, but I really want to. All I can think about is my stomach and how bad it jiggles and how he has no idea what he's in for. He's given me nothing but compliments but he's barely seen my hips let alone my stomach. I really like him but he's probably going to stop talking to me after this because I'm not as great as he thinks. I don't even have time to fast or do a million crunches or get liposuction or die.
I'm so scared :( Sorry for rambling. The last person to see me naked was also a former fat kid so I didn't care, but this guy patted his completely flat stomach and said he was getting a belly.
[Discussion] Do you ever forget how unhealthy this all is?
/u/miacolette [5'0'' | 145 | fatty | GW:<100 | Female 22]
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:48:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jutj5/do_you_ever_forget_how_unhealthy_this_all_is/
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Seriously. The past couple days I've been really restricting eating maybe 300 cals a day. And I've lost 5 pounds in the last two days.
One of my friends asked me how I've been doing it and I told her I've only been eating like 700 cals a day, thinking how much better that sounds, but then I realized that's still super unhealthy to almost everyone else.
Just made me realize how out of touch I am with eating normal and feeling normal and dieting normal like everyone else around me.
[Rant/Rave] So I can do pull-ups.
/u/Mi__ra [165cm |49 kg | 18,2 | 9 kg | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:45:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jusr3/so_i_can_do_pullups/
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It has been my goal for months. I was so excited when I could do my first one yesterday.
But then my ED brain kicked in. I have *obviously* been eating too much and resting too much. And yeah, I haven't lost any weight in ages, so of course I have been eating too much. But I really hate this. I'm able to achieve something I've been trying to do, and my mind finds a way of taking it as an evidence that actually I'm fat and lazy and disgusting. Thanks a lot, brain.
[Help] What to do when you feel a looming binge? Afraid I will destroy everything.
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 67.6 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 25F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:39:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jurbn/what_to_do_when_you_feel_a_looming_binge_afraid_i/
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Hey guys.
So I have a history of doing long periods of bingeing and long periods of restricting. I've had a really long period of bingeing and got pretty fat, but I finally got out of it around the middle of May. I have been restricting since and have lost 9 kg (20 lbs) and am back at a "healthy" BMI.
However. I have now been stuck at the same weight for a week or maybe a little more and I can feel the urge to binge growing. And I can remember that when it reaches a certain point it is physically impossible for me to resist it. Do you know of any way to somehow diminish this urge? It has always felt much stronger than me, like something that controls me. Is there any way? Please help.
I want to keep losing and be beautiful :-(
[Rant/Rave] even when I net negative for the day, I'm still unhappy
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 101.0 | 17.9 | F 🍍]
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:36:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6juqly/even_when_i_net_negative_for_the_day_im_still/
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I literally liquid fasted yesterday, did cardio, and walked a fuckton. ended up with a net of negative two hundred. and I felt vague disappointment, and like I still definitely didn't deserve to eat.
what do I want anymore? what intake would even make me happy? i only feel some slight satisfaction in knowing I'm losing weight with this deficet, even if I don't have a scale this week to know for sure. 🙃 lol whatever
[Help] [Help] Stuck in a binge phase and running out of time to meet my goals
/u/Ohhisee
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:34:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6juq1f/help_stuck_in_a_binge_phase_and_running_out_of/
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I'm stuck in what seems to be the worst binge and restrict cycle I've had in years. I always binge hear and there, but lately it is every day or every other day. I'm panicking because I'm getting married in 4 months and this meant to be such a happy time, but all I can think is how fat I am and how terrible I'll look. The more it continues, the more depressed I feel and it cycles. I try to fast and then I binge even worse. Am I all out of time to lose the weight?? I have binged myself up to 70kg and I'm trying to get back to 56kg for my wedding...but I would settle for anything less than this tbh.
[Help] Maintenance day..
/u/jizzjazzspazz [🚽 5'5 | CW: 131.8lbs | SW: 160 | GW: 125 | UGW: 110 | Poo]
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:27:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6juo92/maintenance_day/
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Because I almost passed out and I have to work today. Going to try to eat 1200kcal. Why do I feel so guilty? Why do I want to purge the 200 calories I've eaten so far???
:(
[Rant/Rave] Anyone here autistic restrict to punish themselves for not passing completely as normal?
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Tue Jun 27 12:27:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6juo72/anyone_here_autistic_restrict_to_punish/
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Title is self explanatory. I've been diagnosed with autism since childhood but punish myself for acting out because I want to lose the diagnosis.
I spoke up today about the sounds being too loud with TVs clashing at work / radios and I'm told that I'm fucking people over and targeting them.
I'm told I'm deliberately targeting others and I enjoy bullying people. I'm glad when people tell me this because it gives me an excuse to SH.
Went into the stairwell to punch my stomach, bite my arms, and am starting a good hard fast. Anyone else do this?
[Other] Weight discourse
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Tue Jun 27 11:51:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6juf1s/weight_discourse/
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1) "Normal men/women don't look like that!!"
Well sorry, Rebecca, but I don't want to be *average.* No one sets out to write the Okayest American Novel.
2) "We can't help it"
People with legitimate weight diseases (hyperthyroidism, etc) get my utmost sympathy. It sounds horrific. But I know you didn't get to 200lbs eating salad, because I am one of you and I got there eating donuts and quesadillas at 3am. Don't lie to me.
3) "Fatphobia is worse than the negative comments skinny people get!"
No. If you're 400lbs then yeah, maybe people make fun. Excuse me for my lack of sympathy. But Americans *revel* in being fat, especially the men. There's no shame involved when you wheeze up to Dairy Queen and the worker coughs his way to the blizzard machine. When everyone's fat, there's no phobia except self hatred.
I get that some places hire based on appearance, which is unmeritocratic and I don't approve of it. I suspect that's more misogyny than anything else, though.
4) "Skinny bitch"
If you use this term, I reserve the right to call you a fat fuck. Maybe weight is an off limits topic, but that means normal and underweight as well. Keep my Diet Coke drinking name out of your mouth.
5) "Men like women with meat on their bones"
Meat means muscle, not fat.
6) "Starvation mode"
Take a physics class. CICO.
***
I do hate some average weight opinions too, though.
- "Oh, a Big Mac *but at least the Coke is diet*." Fuck you, if she skips the mayo and cheese that's like 400kcal. It works fine for high restriction.
- When people make fun of the nonathletic in gyms. You weren't born stupid with 11% bodyfat, that took work. Mind your own affairs.
- "Women don't like skinny guys!" People are gay, Steven.
[Rant/Rave] Just discovered I'm lactose intolerant...
/u/OriginalJokeGoesHere [66 in | 135lbs | 21.9 | -25 | idk man]
Created: Tue Jun 27 11:23:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ju7wy/just_discovered_im_lactose_intolerant/
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Upside: I have a great excuse not to binge on gelato anymore.
Downside: RIP halo top (and I'm probably gonna eat ice cream anyway because binge cycles are so much fun...)
[Help] I am really depressed
/u/AngelicZero [5'5.5"| 232 | -39 lbs | 115 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 11:20:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ju7dl/i_am_really_depressed/
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I have been absent from this sub for a while now. I was still lurking though. You guys were always so supportive when I took part in the sub.
I think I spent 1-2 months just eating at maintenance (eating BAD food every day and wasting half my meager savings doing it...). I wasn't even close to happy, but I was content enough to over eat rather than punish myself with restriction. I think I'm only at the same weight because I walk 3 hours a day at work and only eat 1-2 times a day...
Now my work situation is worse AGAIN and it's all my fault. I spent so much time hiding from the reality of my situation that it had time to get dire... my parents won't stop reminding me about all the bad shit in my life when I just want to avoid life and not think about it. I've called into work like 3 times this month because I kind of just want to die. I need to submit paper work so I won't get written up for calling in and God knows my depression tells me to just lay in bed and cry rather than idk... asking my doctor if he will fill out the paperwork???? Going to work is making me so miserable.
I took today to get some stuff done that I really freaking needed to. I am going to mail in some paperwork for a work related injury. I am trying to think of what I should do with the rest of my life sitting in this Starbucks...
Like I need to pay off all my debt and get my savings back. I need to move to a different location at work or get a totally new job. I need to navigate my way out of this slump so I don't end up having a break down and making my life even fucking worse. I need to get some sort of higher education so I can get a good job that isn't freaking menial and doesn't make me want to blow my brains out.
I needed to rant somewhere where everyone is supportive and that's here.
Do any of our older users on here have any advice? I know programming pays well and my brother does it... I know I likely will not get bored. When I was younger I enjoyed learning how to code webpages. I have an interest in Java and app development for phones. Udacity offers courses and claims they can help you get hired.
I wonder if I should focus on getting rid of my debt and then trying to choose a career? I just feel stuck and like life is hardly worth living... Isn't it sad that when I get this depressed it's the only time I succeed at restricting?
I know I need to also go to therapy... but last time I tried it (3 months ago through my work's referral) the therapist honestly just treated me like a fucking meal ticket.
[Thinspo] Thinspo/fitspo Sjana Earp 😍
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 11:19:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ju710/thinspofitspo_sjana_earp/
---
https://imgur.com/a/6VqVH
[Discussion] Sometimes I feel like a fake
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Tue Jun 27 11:18:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ju6wd/sometimes_i_feel_like_a_fake/
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Sometimes I feel like my ED isn't real and that I'm trying to have one. After all, if I had an ED wouldn't I be eating less? Wouldn't I make up excuses on why not to eat instead of eating when the social event is focused around eating? If I had an ED, I wouldn't have specific goals in mind on why I want to be thin. If I had an ED wouldn't I want to hide my body instead of showing it off as I get thinner and thinner? Wouldn't I work out more? Wouldn't I avoid eating chocolate protein bars because they have 200 calories in them (never mind the fact that that's my meal replacement). Wouldn't I refuse to eat over 1000 calories on some days? Wouldn't I avoid going out to eat instead of planning time with friends that includes restaurants? Wouldn't I care more about just being thin instead of just looking toned? Am I just doing this as a quick weight loss trick and not even knowing it? Maybe it's not the same as the ED I had 5 years ago when I would starve myself because I wanted to wither away.
But then I remember that it is still a real ED. Normal eaters don't research restaurants and what they'll order weeks in advance. Normal eaters don't skip meals because it'll make the next one taste more "worth it". Normal eaters don't think coffee and a rice cake is breakfast. Normal eaters don't hate their bodies to the same extent that I do. Normal eaters don't look at food videos or recipes or thinspo every hour of every day. Normal eaters aren't obsessed with perfection. Normal eaters don't have an inconsistent shitting schedule from eating too little. Normal eaters don't skip eating for the day because they know they can get drunk faster. Normal eaters don't faint from not eating enough.
I wish I followed the expected pattern of disordered eating because then someone might notice. But at the same time, I am glad people don't notice. Because then I'm not the pretty girl who starves herself, I'm the effortlessly skinny pretty girl.
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate diet culture.
/u/smileyslimey [5'5 | 98 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 10:57:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ju15m/i_fucking_hate_diet_culture/
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Because of my ED, I'm especially sensitive to any kind of disordered behaviors. And it is heartbreaking how many *actually unhealthy* behaviors are being ingrained in girls' minds from a very young age.
Associating food with morals - "good" and "bad" foods, feeling "guilty" for "indulging" in unhealthier foods, "guilt-free" diet foods, being "good" for eating a salad, "earning" your post-workout meal, the premise that weight loss=healthy and low-calorie=healthy.
I have a younger teen sister and when I overhear conversations with her girlfriends it breaks my heart. Perfectly healthy, beautiful young girls who are still growing that are tearing apart their own bodies and constantly feeling bad about their body and eating habits.
And it scares me too. I know firsthand how easy it is for a person with low self-esteem to slip from "healthy dieting" into seriously disordered eating habits. We live in a culture that is telling us to never be satisfied with our bodies and there is a huge industry making money off of it - most, if not almost all women (and I don't want to exclude men, but I'm only comfortable about speaking from my own female experience) will diet sooner or later and it is SO EASY to spiral down into an eating disorder. Just read some posts on /r/1200isplenty. So many people with borderline disordered eating habits. And it's not their fault, who can blame *anyone* for giving in into the huge societal pressure?
I know that not every eating disorder is driven by the same reasons. But in my case it all started out with wanting to be thinner to be prettier so that people would like me better and I know I'm not the only one. After all, we are literally being sold the idea that losing weight will make our lives so much better.
It must be so hard for anyone in recovery too because this shit is triggering as fuck. When I overhear diet talk or hear that someone wants to lose weight I become so competitive. And it's everywhere. So kudos to all recovering people, this takes some serious strength.
That was just a pointless rant but I needed to get this off my chest. This community is so amazing, everyone is so welcoming and supportive that I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts here.💓
[Rant/Rave] I had dinner so I could concentrate on studying again
/u/TwintigApril
Created: Tue Jun 27 10:56:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ju0z0/i_had_dinner_so_i_could_concentrate_on_studying/
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And I feel like a failure, I'm so full.
So full.
Filled with a disgusting portion of food, veggies, protein, some noodles. It was less than 565 kcal cause my roommate ate some of my prep too.
Gross gross, I hate that I need to eat not to binge.
Ate less than 1250 today.
Disgusting.
[Discussion] Who else is excited for the new Netflix eating disorder movie?
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9.5"| CW: 136 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -44 | 20F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 10:45:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jty82/who_else_is_excited_for_the_new_netflix_eating/
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It's called "To The Bone". I'm excited and nervous about it, it's always interesting to see how the media portrays EDs. I watched [the trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=705yRfs6Dbs) and a sick part of me loves how skinny Lily Collins is.
[Rant/Rave] saved by the comment
/u/gameofboness
Created: Tue Jun 27 10:15:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jtqrw/saved_by_the_comment/
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so, my dad went shopping today which is always a disaster because he gets ALL the sweets and also is constantly getting "gifts" for me in the form of food which i know is silly to complain about, but it's my biggest trigger.
i see that he's bought a ton of these big bakery cookies (they're so fucking soft omg) and immediately my brain is in overdrive trying to justify a binge.
except then my dad strolls in and says "i got these again since last time you ate ALL of them and i didn't get to try any" 🙃
which is true, i had binged last time. he didn't even mean anything bad but in that second my binge brain said "challenge accepted" and i knew i would not be touching those cookies.
[Rant/Rave] I made tofu dumpling soup!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F |121.6lbs | 21.28| 4lbs]
Created: Tue Jun 27 09:47:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jtjv7/i_made_tofu_dumpling_soup/
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http://imgur.com/a/uyZEU
[Rant/Rave] When your hair falls out from heavy restriction...
/u/hopintomyhooptie
Created: Tue Jun 27 09:40:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jthzw/when_your_hair_falls_out_from_heavy_restriction/
---
Would rather be thin with thin hair than thick with thick hair 👌😂💯
[Discussion] Anyone else get periods at low(er) weights? How do you feel about it?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |95.4|16.5]
Created: Tue Jun 27 09:38:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jthjb/anyone_else_get_periods_at_lower_weights_how_do/
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I'm 95.4 this morning, which at my height gives me a new BMI of 16.5. I started my period today and I feel "fat" because I feel like my body fat is too high or that I'm not restricting enough or that I need to stop being lazy and to get back into exercise. In the past, I've continued to get my period even hoovering around 90.
I really need to stop being lazy and get to the gym...for some toning, weight control, stress relief, etc.
Until then, I'm just going to lose a little more weight. Just a little.
[Rant/Rave] Binge averted!
/u/spaceeeeeeeeecadet [158cm | cw 52 | 21.54 | ugw 40 | 22F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 09:15:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jtc25/binge_averted/
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Last night I had a weird food dream about a grilled cheese sandwich where I was cutting it apart but not eating it. I'm restricting below 500 cals, and I was possessed with the urge to get McDonalds - I DON'T EVEN LIKE MCDONALDS WTF. Went as far as looking up the calories and weighing my decision trying to justify that it fit into my daily limit. Instead I made cabbage soup 😊22 cals instead of 470 feels great.
[Discussion] Instagram models and eds
/u/nairoline
Created: Tue Jun 27 09:08:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jtafi/instagram_models_and_eds/
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Have you ever wondered about the fact that some ig models might have eds (I think most of you likely have). I totally understand that someone can be naturally skinny but there seems to be a difference between being naturally skinny and losing at a too rapid rate.
I assume with appropriate weight loss, your skin doesn't bend in too much because of all the muscle mass lost.
I'm just looking at them as thinspo but only wondering if they too have their own thinspo (although they dont seem to get skinnier).
Either way I'm really jealous. What do you guys think?
I'm On mobile mark as discussion please.
[Intro] Long winded Intro/Need of Support
/u/Notreallyoverit [5'11 | 166 | 22.41 | UGW: 130? Maybe? | 31F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 08:28:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jt10y/long_winded_introneed_of_support/
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I've been here, reading the stories in the background for probably a year now, but I think it's time I finally come out of the woodwork, because I need some support in all of this.
I just got medically discharged from the military for anxiety/depression/bulimia, which I've dealt on and off with over the last four years, and the most recent total relapse being last summer when I had ankle surgery and ended up at the ER twice for dehydration because I was not eating much and still throwing up, medicated but not under control, and a host of actual physical problems. This relapse led to my command recommending me for release from the military because I was no longer fit to serve, and so here I am, my second full weekday of being on terminal leave and transitioning back to the civilian/non-military world.
I started seeing an non military provider last fall after the worst relapse, one specifically for ED, and since then, I've stopped b/p 2-3x a day and now it's down to about once a week. The problem is that lately I've kinda flipped the other way and have been restricting to about 500-700 with frenetic exercise, because I feel like I've gained weight with the stopping of b/p and can't stand to look at myself. In about a week I'm headed to see my fiancé, (we are both military, stationed in two different states) and I'm terrified that I'm going to gain weight while I'm with him.
Everything freaks me out lately, and I just want to control my food and how I look, and not see disgusting fat on my hips. I'm 5'11, so I'll never be tiny and delicate and petite, but I feel like a fat blob of lard, even though I ride horses, workout and take heated yoga classes. I just want to see beautiful lines and not fat jiggling each time I walk every which way. That's the long and short of it for now. Just making this post helps a little.
[Help] TMI question about digestion as a restrictive anorexic
/u/frostbones [5'2 / CW: ???]
Created: Tue Jun 27 08:18:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jsyxs/tmi_question_about_digestion_as_a_restrictive/
---
Can't flair, mobile.
Hahaha I tried to find this information myself but sometimes you don't know the right words to use Google properly!
So...sometimes I eat a "normal" people amount of food, as we all do. The thing is, ever since a couple months ago when this happens the whole of the next day is almost as if I took laxatives?! Like I am stuck back and forth from the toilet ALL DAY. EDIT: I have never abused laxatives, just in case that's relevant.
I thought anorexia makes your digestive system slow down? I haven't been eating enough for the volume of waste?! This HAS to be what I ate yesterday.
Is it hypermetabolism? From only one day of normal eating after a week of heavy restricting? Like is my body just like "oh hell no I can't process this! send it on through!" or?
I have so many theories but no trustworthy information to confirm or deny (,:
I guess I'm also kinda wondering if this affects how much I gain from higher calorie days. Cause I do that thing where I don't pay attention to my TDEE and then "fix the damage" by restricting extra the next day(s)....I know I shouldn't be doing that but...eating disorders are lil gremlins that live in your head huh?
[Help] Divided
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 08:17:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jsyr8/divided/
---
I don't know what to do.
It finally hit me that this is my last week on my own to do whatever I please without fear of how it impacts anyone around me. I'm moving in with a friend who knows and has been amazing during my time in treatment. I don't want to piss anyone else off and get kicked out of a living situation AGAIN because of this stupid ED. I can't move anymore.
That being said, I know my friend is not the type to sugar coat anything or not be honest... so I know if she's pissed she'd tell me... which for fucks sake is really refreshing. I hate tip toeing around anyone, with constant anxiety of "is it really ok?" It's the worst.
So I don't know if I should just throw in the towel on attempting to lose weight and give fully into recovery or adjust my efforts. I don't want to do recovery for the sake of anyone else's comfort as that hasn't worked for me in the past, at the same time I really hate how much I'm lying to myself and everyone else.
Ugh. This blows.
[Other] I'm a camp counselor, and one of my 14 year old campers passed out from not eating today.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Tue Jun 27 07:55:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jstx9/im_a_camp_counselor_and_one_of_my_14_year_old/
---
She's 14 years old. This is where I was 4 years ago. And she fainted because she's eaten barely anything. When she fainted my first aid training kicked in and I asked her sister when was the last time she ate? And she said well she's barely eaten since she came to camp three days ago.
I caught her and carried her to the nurse's station and everything, then after her vitals were checked and she woke up, we went back to the cabin and I told her my story of disordered eating that started when I was 13 and she cried and we hugged and I am giving her my phone number so she can always have someone to talk to.
It makes me so sad to know that so many scared, lonely girls are going to end up how I am now. And I'm only 18!!!!
I want to break down and spend the whole day crying and sleeping but instead I over ate at every meal and I just want to die. I can't talk to anyone about this because my friends don't know about my ED.
[Tip] Found a restaurant that prides itself on super healthy, seasonally changing low calorie meals!
/u/throwthisnonsense
Created: Tue Jun 27 07:55:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jstt8/found_a_restaurant_that_prides_itself_on_super/
---
Seasons 52!! Hopefully some of y'all can find one close by. It's a little pricey, but recommended for family/friend/work party outings, because you can eat a regular meal and not have to worry. All calorie info (I believe) is listed on the menu in store. I could be wrong however, so I'm attaching links to regular menu/gluten free/lactose sensitive/vegetarian/vegan
[yay so many yummy options!!!](http://m.seasons52.com/nutrition)
[Goal] Here's to getting through another day
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Tue Jun 27 07:54:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jstkp/heres_to_getting_through_another_day/
---
I've done really good the past couple of days. I wish I thought about my ED all the time then I'd be hella skinny. But even when I lose weight I still think I'm fat. I notice when it comes to my ED I'm either all in or not at all. I ran and went on a couple long walks yesterday as well as restricted even at my hungriest. I swear there was a point my stomach literally growled and moaned my name. Sorry, I'm still not feeding you xD. I did kind of eat more veggies at dinner than I should have, but that was mostly all I have yesterday. I wish my mom wouldn't leave food out to snack on so I wouldn't break as easily when I'm in the kitchen just for coffee. Anyway, here's to getting through another day ♡
[Tip] Found a restaurant where everything is 475 cals or less (includes desserts!!)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 07:34:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jspdq/found_a_restaurant_where_everything_is_475_cals/
---
[deleted]
Peach buddies?
/u/Discountmein
Created: Tue Jun 27 07:26:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jsnos/peach_buddies/
---
[removed]
[Discussion] Is popcorn a safe food for anyone else? These are some good ideas that could be modified to make them less caloric!
/u/Discountmein
Created: Tue Jun 27 06:59:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jsi7b/is_popcorn_a_safe_food_for_anyone_else_these_are/
---
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/articles/50-flavored-popcorn-recipes
[Help] What do you make of it when your weight goes up without even eating
/u/Biebercel [174cm| CW: 58kg | GW: Thin]
Created: Tue Jun 27 06:53:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jsgxz/what_do_you_make_of_it_when_your_weight_goes_up/
---
i havent eaten yet today and yet i'm weighing in heavier than i was yesterday with no food in between
tihs is a really crappy feeling :( i was down to 57.something before and now im back to 58
[Thinspo] This Alex Perry model is goals
/u/Spiderclaw [5'3" | SW 130 | CW 121 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 06:33:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jsd2d/this_alex_perry_model_is_goals/
---
http://imgur.com/a/WDrXG
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A June 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 27 06:11:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6js8tv/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_june_27_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 27, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 27 06:11:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6js8sy/daily_food_diary_june_27_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 27, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Currently going through a whole week where I can't avoid food :(
/u/sibr
Created: Tue Jun 27 05:19:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jrzyh/currently_going_through_a_whole_week_where_i_cant/
---
This week is my graduation and every day I've got some sort of meal to attend and there'll be pressure to drink alcohol on top of that. I've been so, so good at restricting lately and I've been working out a lot so thinking about stepping on the scales at the end of this week is giving me a lot of anxiety
Plus nobody I know is aware of my problems with eating so I try to avoid arousing any suspicion and I don't really know how to do that when I'll be surrounded by people all week and I'll be the focus of a lot of attention. Ugh it'll be a tough week
[Thinspo] A little bit of January Jones
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Tue Jun 27 03:59:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jroh8/a_little_bit_of_january_jones/
---
https://i.redd.it/dc7sr97hv56z.jpg
Finally a bandwagon I can jump on!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 03:05:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jrhfc/finally_a_bandwagon_i_can_jump_on/
---
https://i.redd.it/1kov7fntl56z.jpg
[Other] Is anybody here a cashier?
/u/Ire_of_suburbia [5'4" | 85lbs | 14,6 | -53 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 03:04:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jrhbp/is_anybody_here_a_cashier/
---
Approximately how many times in a row would you say I have to go into a supermarket and buy nothing but two packs of sweetener tablets before I become known as *that girl*?
Not really a serious question, just wanted to share one of the absolutely normal things I do because of my ED lol
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I keep waiting for the whoosh to happen and I'm starting to go mad.
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Tue Jun 27 02:16:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jrbex/rant_i_keep_waiting_for_the_whoosh_to_happen_and/
---
Yestetday was my 5 frikkin day of the bloody Niagara falls and I've been seeing differences of 2kg per day.
The thing is 1 day before my period I reached my pre binge cycle weight again (6 months of calories from hell) and it made me so happy since I'm about 20 in with controled, planned eating. And then I gained 3kg on my period. I know It's bloating , well I hope it is since I was restricting.
But I just want to see the numbers drop...I've been good, I deserve it, I didn't binge even once, I under eat so whyyyy can't this already end.
5 days was torture enough.
[Help] Lighter at the end of the day after a binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 27 01:37:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jr6mv/lighter_at_the_end_of_the_day_after_a_binge/
---
[deleted]
[Help] Breakfast under 100 Cal that still looks normal?
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Tue Jun 27 01:14:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jr3jg/breakfast_under_100_cal_that_still_looks_normal/
---
So in a couple of days i will be having breakfast with a friend of mine and i can't cancel, but I'm planning to fast until the weekend! Not a perfect condition.
Do you have any ideas for meals that are really really low Cal but still look like a meal? (I still view everything below 100 cals as fasting, so i think that's somehow still manageable). Another problem: i have to make breakfast for the two of us, so it has to be something that will suffice as a meal for my friend as well.
Also, it has to be vegan.
PLEASE TELL ME I CAN DO THIS. And meal suggestions would be appreciated.
Edit: on mobile, will flair later
[Tip] Reminder: weight isn't linear!
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| GW: to disappear | F]
Created: Tue Jun 27 00:42:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jqyzm/reminder_weight_isnt_linear/
---
After not logging my intake for a week and eating a dinner party's worth of food in under 20 minutes, I was almost back up to my highest weight (140) the next day. Thankfully, a BM and practically inhaling water lowered my weight back to my plateau weight (135).
That's 5 lbs of food, including the lunch from yesterday that's still causing me stomach pains.
You're never going to be your 'true weight' unless stay super hydrated and empty your colon to the point of shitting water, so don't beat yourself up over gaining after eating loads.
Stay safe 💕
[Humor] Tried to force a whoosh and accidentally ate over TDEE for the day 😨! Wish me luck, I'm over here with a sore tummy wishing anyone else the same who needs it!
/u/EmpressAdrianne [🦄5'10"|CW167|GW 💀|SW225|F🦄]
Created: Tue Jun 27 00:05:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jqtr0/tried_to_force_a_whoosh_and_accidentally_ate_over/
---
https://i.redd.it/tqvop38vp46z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] RIP me
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | 27 F 🍋]
Created: Tue Jun 27 00:04:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jqtfh/rip_me/
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i'm sitting on the kitchen counter eating birthday cake halo top out of the carton after binging on goji berries and these stupid little filipino garlic corn things. i'm so pathetic and weepy and fucking crampy because my period is fucking six days late and i want to die.
When you're malnourished but your ED is craving a low cal meal
/u/whitericeriver
Created: Mon Jun 26 23:14:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jqm54/when_youre_malnourished_but_your_ed_is_craving_a/
---
https://i.redd.it/4rgt4coqg46z.jpg
[Discussion] (Rant/Discussion) Googling foods nutrition labels...
/u/sofugginsmol [5'4" | 148lbs | GW:100 | -10lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 22:54:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jqizf/rantdiscussion_googling_foods_nutrition_labels/
---
I kind of realize this is not a normal behavior, but I'm obsessing and I needed to clear some questions up on food all of a sudden out of nowhere.
I'm at home with my husband and kids, normal night, and suddenly all I want to do is go to the grocery store alone and find as many low cal, low fat foods as I can.. I want to slowly go through every aisle, every food and read all the labels and make a list of potential safe foods to add to my arsenal.
The urge is so strong, it is all I can think about and my heart rate is up and I'm dying not being able to go... SO, I'm Googling foods I'm curious about, looking up websites with recommended low cal foods and overall obsessing about food labels.
I've never done this before, I do obsessively read labels when I'm at the store, but I hold back because I know I look insane. But I'm desperate to take a trip specifically to read and take notes, not even buy anything, just prepare I guess.
DAE do this OR think this way?
[Help] Telling my therapist?
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Mon Jun 26 21:58:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jq9hm/telling_my_therapist/
---
So I see my therapist tomorrow and have been pretty upset recently and thinking about telling her how I think I might have an ED. Any tips on how to tell/hint to her?
[Rant/Rave] Restriction as self harm? [Rant/Rave]
/u/Shrinkydinkmyself [5'6"| 119 | 19.3 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 21:57:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jq9b0/restriction_as_self_harm_rantrave/
---
This is a weird thing to talk about...
I used to have a lot of self harm behaviors and think that for the most part they've been replaced with fasting and low restriction.
Like, I broke up with my boyfriend, and I've lost 5 pounds this week. I'm not so much focused on losing weight though... I'm just very intentionally not eating. I mean, this all started as a weight issue. These days, though, I don't think so much about that, except to consider that someone will notice that I'm sick and maybe I'll get some help if I don't eat long enough.
At some point, everything about this ED changed for me. It stopped being about how I look in a bikini and started being about... IDK something else.
Is this par for the course?
[Discussion] How do you feel about c/s?
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 21:53:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jq8mj/how_do_you_feel_about_cs/
---
Recently I've been doing it more. Idk how I feel about it. It's better than binging, but it still feels like a failure because I consumed *something*.
[Other] My sister is taking a class on eating disorders at college
/u/thinnmints [4'11 | 157 | -15 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 21:38:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jq60i/my_sister_is_taking_a_class_on_eating_disorders/
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She says she's so interested and is learning a lot from it. Thankfully this was over text because I laughed and said out loud "i should teach that class" .
But no one would learn anything and I'd spend the entire hour crying to myself silently over halo top while they all stared.
Thumbs up for open communication with family /s
[Help] What are some foods I can eat that make appear as though I am eating more?
/u/We_Are_Vigilant_ [5'9"| CW164 GW150 | ~ | M]
Created: Mon Jun 26 21:12:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jq1hi/what_are_some_foods_i_can_eat_that_make_appear_as/
---
My whole family is always on me to eat more, so... yeah.
Stuff that make it look I'm eating more volume but still are low calorie, cause they don't know enough to care about my calorie intake.
[Rant/Rave] I binged but at least I'll be able to take a shit tomorrow morning lmao
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Mon Jun 26 21:09:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jq0xt/i_binged_but_at_least_ill_be_able_to_take_a_shit/
---
I ate like 5 servings of lentil/edamame chips earlier today that weren't even that good instead of a single serving (because whats portion control I don't know her) and i rounded out my day at 1100 calories instead of my anticipated 500.
I'd attempt to purge but I'm trying to keep my teeth white for sorority recruitment. Otherwise TRUST ME I would be drinking WAY more coffee and smoking WAY more cigarettes to suppress my appetite) lol.
I guess the silver lining to this awful binge is that I'll actually be able to take a shit and have ~fresh, new weight~
[Rant/Rave] a note to this fucking community
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 20:52:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpxro/a_note_to_this_fucking_community/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] i can't fast.
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 109.1 | 18.2 | gw 108 | ugw 98]
Created: Mon Jun 26 20:48:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpx1i/i_cant_fast/
---
both physically -- i cant stand the hunger, i dont have the will power, though maybe the right combination of stimulants and other appetite suppressants & a busier schedule could carry me thru that -- and just in terms of practicality. ive been through ED treatment twice in the past year. there are too many people watching me for me to fly under the radar just not eating.
i feel....not exactly like a fraud. i KNOW i have an eating disorder. even after treatment i still restrict pretty heavily, purge multiple times a week, get super weird about exercise. i know i HAVE an eating disorder, but at the same time i feel like if im not going days without eating, im not doing everything i could be. i still havent taken it far enough. so i think about fasting ALL the time. strategically i know it isnt feasible, but i cant shake the feeling that it would make me feel so clean and right and finally satisfied with my work.
i know that sounds nuts! but yeah. i just needed to get that off my chest.
[Help] How do you high-restrict without passing out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 20:36:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpupk/how_do_you_highrestrict_without_passing_out/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I will never be good enough
/u/mindover_madness
Created: Mon Jun 26 20:17:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpr1z/i_will_never_be_good_enough/
---
This is just a drunken rant, feel free to ignore. I just got home from a weekend away with the person I'm seeing and they spent the whole time on tinder and messaging these incredibly beautiful/fit girls.
I'll never be enough, in any context that has meaning to me. The only thing I have some control over is my body. I'll never be pretty enough, or smart enough. I'll never be the easy going, chill & witty chick. But I'm going to try my hardest to be thin enough. Even if it kills me.
[Other] My eating disorder in a single picture lol
/u/ughmanda [5'3.5 | 120 | 20.9 | 60 lbs | 19F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 20:17:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpqzt/my_eating_disorder_in_a_single_picture_lol/
---
http://imgur.com/7ainBaY
Am I allowed to use y'all as accountability?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 19:57:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpn8c/am_i_allowed_to_use_yall_as_accountability/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [rant] foiled again
/u/lowkeydeadinside
Created: Mon Jun 26 19:53:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpmcx/rant_foiled_again/
---
I *almost* went the entire day without eating. I was about to eat because my boyfriend was begging me but then he said something that made me completely lose my appetite (we are in a very difficult situation rn which is what made it horrible but I won't go into that unless anyone asks). I told him I was gonna throw my food away and he said he thought we should end things because he can't stand being responsible for my self harm (referring to starving and I'm also a cutter). Then I said I probably wasn't gonna eat for a long long time because he knows the last time we broke up I didn't eat for a week and he said as long as I ate he wouldn't break up with me. So I had a bowl of oatmeal which was like 500 calories and my first good day in weeks was ruined. I'll probably do the same tomorrow and just lie about eating.
Sorry for the rant, feel free to ignore this
[Thinspo] Khloe Kardashian's online store has some *amazing* comparison thinspo
/u/saIad_days [5'3 | 99.4 | GW 80 | 18F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 19:09:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpdym/khloe_kardashians_online_store_has_some_amazing/
---
https://www.goodamerican.com/products/star-girl-bodysuit-black001
https://www.goodamerican.com/products/good-cuts-skinny-boyfriend-jean-blue012
You can choose to see the clothes on different size models, so you can see the same outfit on progressively larger models. It's really motivating to see how much better everything looks on the thinnest girl.
Their sizes are vanity sized into the stratosphere though (their size 00 is a 26" waist. what??) not to mention the price, so not a great place to actually buy clothes though.
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally signed up for a meal plan that has six meals a week at college. Blessing in disguise?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Mon Jun 26 19:05:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpd6j/accidentally_signed_up_for_a_meal_plan_that_has/
---
I could skip breakfast, have a cereal bar for lunch or something, then dinner? I don't know. My mom wants to switch me to 12 meals a week which I guess would be okay too. But first I want to see how long I can survive on this meal plan once fall comes
[Discussion] do restaurants include oil calories?
/u/gameofboness
Created: Mon Jun 26 19:02:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jpck5/do_restaurants_include_oil_calories/
---
so a lot of restaurants share their calorie info. i was wondering if anyone knew if they factored in cooking oil though? because that would be a huge discrepancy if not :-/
[Help] Can anyone just send some kind or reassuring words my way?
/u/all-mah-secrets [158cm|CW: 49.5kg|GW: 46Kg| 20F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 18:48:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jp9o7/can_anyone_just_send_some_kind_or_reassuring/
---
I fucked up you guys. I don't know how binging makes you feel, but it completely *demoralizes* me. I can't go out for days until I recover from the mental impact it gives me. I feel so useless and *lame*.
Tell me, please, has anyone recovered from binging? Anyone? Tell me I won't do this for the rest of my life. Tell me I can stop this if I'm willing to.
For background, no, I haven't even been restricting that hard these last few days. I even allowed myself maintenance on a bunch of occasions without freaking out. I thought I was better. I thought I was better. I *really* thought I was better.
[Tip] I think we could all used to be cheered up.
/u/syntheticseasalt
Created: Mon Jun 26 18:47:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jp9ic/i_think_we_could_all_used_to_be_cheered_up/
---
Lots of posts on here are very depressing, as well they should be – this is a mental disorder we suffer from, for Chrissake! I was in a shitty mood as well, and I thought we could all benefit from some nice things to cheer us all up. Feel free to comment your own resources!
• if you feel lazy and gross: [workout generator](http://www.bodbot.com/Workout_Generator.html)
• if you just need a hug: [the nicest place on the internet](http://thenicestplaceontheinter.net/)
• if you're disgruntled: [un-disgruntle yourself](http://gruntle.me/)
• if you get excited about ED movies: [to the bone trailer](https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=705yRfs6Dbs)
[Help] I need to burn 1300
/u/englishbreakfast77
Created: Mon Jun 26 18:41:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jp8dz/i_need_to_burn_1300/
---
I just ate 1300 over my calorie goal for the day and I need to burn it all off before I can sleep. I need some suggestions. Should I just go for a 4 hour walk? I'm uncomfortably full so if I run right now I'll probably get sick. I'm freaking out.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so hungry. I can't wait to go to sleep so I can wake up and eat food.
/u/HufflePuffPrid3 [4'11 | 84 | 17 | -19 | F ]
Created: Mon Jun 26 18:19:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jp40w/im_so_hungry_i_cant_wait_to_go_to_sleep_so_i_can/
---
I've hit my limit for the day.
It can reset in the morning.
Soon.
[Rant/Rave] Binge monster takes a hit
/u/RemtheCat
Created: Mon Jun 26 18:06:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jp16q/binge_monster_takes_a_hit/
---
Today I knew I was going to have to eat over my limit (family dinner) and I had messed up by eating peanut butter M&Ms (ugh literally my kryptonite) and I didn't binge!
I ate a normal sized portion of dinner and one spoonful of ice cream and now I'm done eating for the day. I estimate I was around 1,500-1,800 calories but it's okay!
This is the first time in a while I've been able to mess up without bingeing for what feels like forever.
[Intro] I feel like a fraud.
/u/waveparticleduality [5' 4" | CW:Ew | 26.86 | -8.5 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 17:51:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6joyhs/i_feel_like_a_fraud/
---
Hi everyone! I've been lurking here a while, but this is my first post. Hope everyone is doing well.
I don't know if I belong here. I don't know if I have a problem. I don't know if 800 calories a day counts as a diet or disordered eating.
I know I don't have a good relationship with food, or with my body. I know I'm too fat to look good in anything or be comfortable, and my BMI tells me I'm 15+ pounds overweight.
I want to be thin and happy and healthy. I want to stop getting headaches and getting dizzy when I stand up. I want to stop chewing on my nails, and getting sad when I see my reflection in the mirror.
That's it, rant over. Take care of yourselves, lovelies <3.
[Help] I tried to get help today and failed
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 17:45:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6joxhx/i_tried_to_get_help_today_and_failed/
---
TRIGGER WARNING!!!
Today I was so anxious and depressed I couldn't get out of bed to go to work, so I called off. Once I did get moving, I couldn't imagine doing anything. So I called my insurance for some referrals. I also was going to go on a 72 hour hold to get my mind right. But apparently I am not suicidal enough to get in on a 72 hour hold. They didn't belive me. And also, I'm not "sick enough" to get help for the eating disorder. They referred me to general counseling, in three weeks. I totally relapsed and cut my arm all up and I've lost 12 pounds in 15 days but nope. Not sick enough yet. Gotta be literally dying. Maybe if I walk in with a gigantic gash on my arm they'll finally admit me.
Not asking for advice, just needed to rant. I did manage to find one therapist in town who will take me tomorrow at 1 pm. Pretty sure it's because I called for therapist A, was told she just left the practice, but therapist B was available. So there were probably cancellations opening up appointments for me. Plus I was crying on the phone. Yay sympathy!
Not sure if I want to recover, but I can't feel like this any longer.
[Rant/Rave] Room assignments for university have me FREAKING OUT LOL
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 161.8 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 109 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 17:34:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jovco/room_assignments_for_university_have_me_freaking/
---
HahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD
Okay so I'm going to be starting my first year at the university my dad works at. It's only about a 30 minute drive from my house, but my dad wanted me to live on campus for at least one year, so yeah.
I don't know ANYONE attending this school, so I knew I'd have to suck it up with roommates. Luckily I'll be living in a quad, which is a big apartment-style suite with two bedrooms each containing two beds. Sweet, I won't feel like all eyes are on me every time I'm in my room. Sounds awesome.
Except the person I'm sharing a bedroom with is EASILY THE POSTER CHILD FOR GORGEOUS, SKINNY BLONDE GIRLS THAT CAN DO THEIR MAKEUP PERFECTLY. SHE RAN TRACK, LOOKS LIKE SHE WEIGHS A MAX OF 100 lbs AT A SHROT HEIGHT BUT ACCORDING TO HER FACEBOOK SHE ALSO LIKES ART AND GOOD MUSIC AND AND AND AND AND
I'm sorry I'm actually about to die. Am I about to drop out of college because of my own insecurities? Hey maybe!
At least I'll have round-the-clock thinspo to motivate me to keep restricting while I'm there.
[Intro] ED questionnaires are impossible
/u/CinderellaPantyDrop [5'2" | 124 | -17 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 17:25:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jotj3/ed_questionnaires_are_impossible/
---
Was trying to fill out an ED screening questionnaire and realized it wasn’t working because I couldn’t answer questions like, “Do you tend to eat more or faster than people normally do?”
How much do normal people eat? How fast do normal people eat?
Realizing I’ve never had healthy eating habits modeled for me- my father was obese and my mother’s always on a crash diet, as if she could diet for him.
I’m completely incapable of portion control, but then again I am this way about everything: drugs, sex, anything I like. Don’t tell me when to stop. I’ll stop when I’m full or finished or asleep. The idea of stopping before I’m ready makes me feel desperate and crazy.
It was drugs that started me down this rabbit hole. Last summer I lost 30 lbs in a whirlwind of coke and Xanax that cost me my job, my boyfriend, most of my friends, my life as I knew it. Went to rehab and they put me on mirtazapine, gave me Ensure to drink, I went with it because it had been so long since I’d been worried about my weight (for ten years before that I’d been comfortable in my skin at 130 lbs, running 3 miles a day and eating whatever I wanted.)
Fuck mirtazapine. By Christmas I was up to 141lbs. My thighs rubbed together, my stomach puffed out over my waistband, it was horrifying. I was scared my doctor wouldn’t let me discontinue the mirtazapine since I was “only” 11lbs overweight. But she let me stop taking it.
Lost 16 lbs since I stopped taking it, so now I’m 125 lbs. Smaller than my old comfortable weight. But something’s different. I look at old pictures of myself, and I look kind of pudgy. I see myself in the mirror now and I think, //Maybe this is a skinny mirror, maybe this is a fat mirror, how can I know?//
Back to that ED questionnaire: are my habits fucked up or am I just SUPER healthy, lol? I run 3 to 6 miles a day, and I eat almost entirely fruits and vegetables, because I want (need?) to eat a large volume of food without a lot of calories. But I do eat some tofu, and I’m only losing 2 to 3 lbs a week, which I’ve read is technically a safe rate.
But I’m reading your stories and I’m relating more and more every day. One thing I never expected was the way I actually get a high from losing weight, which makes me think I’ve found a replacement for drugs. And then I wonder why I can only be truly excited about things that have the potential to destroy me.
Anyway I’ve been lurking for a few weeks, and I really admire the kind and supportive community you have here.
[Thinspo] Just some thinspo I liked
/u/unpollutedfantasy
Created: Mon Jun 26 17:24:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jot87/just_some_thinspo_i_liked/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Um4at
[Thinspo] Just some thinspo I liked
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 17:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jos86/just_some_thinspo_i_liked/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Um4at
[Help] Could anyone tell me about how many calories this has? Just estimation?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 17:02:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6joor3/could_anyone_tell_me_about_how_many_calories_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/dxxk5gj8m26z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Why do I still feel like I over ate?
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 140.6 | BMI: 28.92 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 16:32:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6joij4/why_do_i_still_feel_like_i_over_ate/
---
Just venting... weight hasn't budged in a few days despite restricting below 500 kcal. All I've had today is a can of Progresso light soup (160 cal), a sugar free 12oz Red Bull (10 cal), and a pint of birthday cake halo top (280 cal). 460 calories total, and I hit the "I've logged everything" button in lose it (bc I WILL NOT eat after it's checked... it's a rule I follow) and I felt... fat. Like I ate too much... like a piggy. WTF is wrong with me?
[Help] I have a goblin body
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:128lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 16:31:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6joi9v/i_have_a_goblin_body/
---
I know this is a fairly common thing, but it just makes me so sad. I lose weight just about everywhere except for my midsection until I hit underweight, and even then I still have a little tummy.
Does anyone know if maybe introducing more protein into my diet might help with this? Or will anything at all?
[Help] How to drink coffee without feeling faint?
/u/skaggs123 [Height: 5'4 | CW:147| BMI: 25 | Weight Lost: 0 | Gender: F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 16:30:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6joi3t/how_to_drink_coffee_without_feeling_faint/
---
If I drink coffee on an empty stomach I get jittery, my stomach feels like its twisting inside out, and I binge because I think that I have to eat when drinking coffee. I just want to enjoy coffee without having to eat :(
[Rant/Rave] Im A fat f*****g Animal..gave into purging
/u/dankdesty [5'10|CW 117|GW 110|UGW 100|F| -3lbs]
Created: Mon Jun 26 16:19:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jofuq/im_a_fat_fg_animalgave_into_purging/
---
I fuckinng suck.. I had to go to my mums last night, & I was doing sooo good! My uncle & aunt were over & brought food from Publix, fried chicken & all… & I felt good only having coleslaw.. but then I ate two slices of cheese, & almost 3 cups of pistachios, & grapes… I wasn’t keeping track of the calories & was a bit generous w. The coleslaw...You thought that was it?! HA if that wasn’t enough MY FAT ASS WENT ABSOLUTELY ANIMALISTIC with a sweet tooth & covered 4 gram crackers w. Peanut butter & banana slices… I knew I was wrong after the 1st one.. but 10 minutes after the 4th & I was in the bathroom w. my fingers down my throat…. Ive never lost control with food like that so im not sure if I feel worse for that loss of self control or for purging… wasted my prozac too…
[Rant/Rave] I'm stressed and want to cry.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 15:56:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6joayw/im_stressed_and_want_to_cry/
---
[deleted]
[Humor] The gods are smiling on me today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 15:51:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jo9yk/the_gods_are_smiling_on_me_today/
---
[deleted]
[Help] I don't know what to do.
/u/elevenosix__
Created: Mon Jun 26 15:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jo2mx/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
---
Hey everyone.. I am 19 :)
So I've been struggling a little, and wanted to ask for advice/help.
I decided to start a Raw diet, but I hate salad. Like seriously, HATE IT. I'd rather die. Im a junk food eater. I like greasy and fat, and carbs. But I also want to be skinny. I weight 52.3kg but my goal weight is 45kg.
What I am asking here, is what should I eat? Should I keep eating what I used to but in small portions, or should I just suck it up and eat plants? Or my best personal choice, not eat at all? My boyfriend is highly against the latter, but I have no idea how to go from here..
[Discussion] is anyone else doing this pretty much alone?
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | 21F | @blackcat_backfat]
Created: Mon Jun 26 14:34:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jnsep/is_anyone_else_doing_this_pretty_much_alone/
---
no one in my life knows about my eating disorder. there's also no one to care about it besides my mom.
i live alone, don't have friends i see in person, literally don't talk to people even when in school, no SO, no fuckbuddies (lmao how on earth do you guys handle any intimacy) no concerned neighbors, the last person i had a "conversation" with was the lady at starbucks when she forgot to count my reward
this is kind of a debby downer post i'm really not that morose, anyone else just floating along unnoticed?
[Other] Today's shopping haul! 😁
/u/Shawnanan
Created: Mon Jun 26 14:32:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jnru4/todays_shopping_haul/
---
https://i.redd.it/i4ak0bliv16z.jpg
[Discussion] Entertainment from the EDs
/u/CouldNotLoadUsername [13|F|Prof-Diagnosed|AN]
Created: Mon Jun 26 14:16:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jno51/entertainment_from_the_eds/
---
Has anyone noticed that your forms of entertainment switched as your ED developed? Like, for example, I used to love gaming and programming, though now the way I keep myself entertained is browsing the Tesco website for hours on end and trying to find the lowest calorie item from each department. (It's actually becoming an obsession, I've done cereal about 7 times now, for anyone wondering, it's [this](https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/262793143) )
[Thinspo] Elena Temnikova thinspo
/u/rachelrayromano [5'4" | CW 102 | 17.85 |F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 13:54:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jnitg/elena_temnikova_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/3xFcLKr
[Goal] Little by little getting it back
/u/Alkylhalides [5'2| 120.8 | 22.89 | -36.2 | UGW: 96 | 20 F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 13:46:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jngom/little_by_little_getting_it_back/
---
Recent relapse got me a new lowest weight of 117 lbs. Gained back nearly 20lbs since uni ended do the summer by I just weighed in at 123.8 lbs and I've only had 1174 calls today.
I can do this.
I will do this.
97lbs here I come ❤
[Other] well that doesnt seem right. (google fit usually shows tdee...)
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 109.1 | 18.2 | gw 108 | ugw 98]
Created: Mon Jun 26 13:25:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jnbyr/well_that_doesnt_seem_right_google_fit_usually/
---
https://i.redd.it/awd8732nj16z.jpg
[Thinspo] Grunge/Goth Aesthetic Thinspo
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Mon Jun 26 13:17:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jna5e/grungegoth_aesthetic_thinspo/
---
I compiled a small thinspo album for y'all and to get motivated myself as my ultimate goal is looking good and being able to pull off grunge or goth style without looking like a cringy slob.
Images 8 and 10 are mine.
10 images in total.
What's your goal aesthetic? I alternate between classy and goth.
https://imgur.com/a/WTDeC
[Other] I need a hug.
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | *CRYING INTENSIFIES* | why | 13.4kg |]
Created: Mon Jun 26 13:13:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jn94g/i_need_a_hug/
---
They've stopped selling Pepsi Max Cherry in Denmark. I've checked every brand of store. I can still get cherry coke, but it's Coca Cola and it's not light :(
To every other country reading this, please appreciate your cherry coke.
Tag: rant
[Rant/Rave] I wish I could put myself in a coma so I wouldn't have to think about food.
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [bulimiaayy lmao]
Created: Mon Jun 26 12:58:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jn5l7/i_wish_i_could_put_myself_in_a_coma_so_i_wouldnt/
---
Or think at all, really. I just want to stop existing in a way that wouldn't hurt anyone. If I can't disappear entirely, at least I could take a break from myself until I've withered away. Just go to sleep and wake up when I'm thin enough to start living.
sorry. on mobile. rant i guess.
[Discussion] Can we get an ~ED~ grocery list thread going?
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Mon Jun 26 12:44:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jn2fm/can_we_get_an_ed_grocery_list_thread_going/
---
I love reading people's grocery lists and writing my own (probably because of my disgusting obsession with food lol!!) so PLEASE lay it on me! Give me some inspo for what to eat when I actually eat.
[Rant/Rave] i finally got to weigh myself!
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5' 7 | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 12:41:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jn1tb/i_finally_got_to_weigh_myself/
---
i was 112 at the work scale. i'm not allowed to have a scale at home because my husband freaks out and won't let me. i weighed after lunch (2 rolls -- ugh, i know, please don't judge; 2 big plates of salad; and half a cup of veggies/gnocchi/italian sausage in marinara sauce). i'm wearing a long-sleeve tshirt and jeans.
how much do you think weighing after lunch and wearing clothes added? i think at least a pound, but i'm hoping maybe 2? 110 sounds so much better than 111. be honest, what do you think?
[Discussion] Whats your longest fast?
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Mon Jun 26 12:19:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jmwhf/whats_your_longest_fast/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jmwhf/whats_your_longest_fast/
[Other] Time for some panicked googling
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Mon Jun 26 11:32:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jmlfg/time_for_some_panicked_googling/
---
https://i.redd.it/qc7g64miz06z.jpg
[Discussion] [Discussion] Calorie tracking apps
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: anywhere between 103-107 | GW: 99 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 11:29:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jmkku/discussion_calorie_tracking_apps/
---
Does anyone know of a calorie tracking app that shows you calorie allotments for the week instead of per day? I feel like I would be less stressed by that versus having a set limit every day and feeling guilty if I go over it because I've screwed everything up, you know?
I think it would also be great to have one that shows you a calories in/calories out model. You could have a TDEE estimator on one side that updates itself with how much you burned by being alive on one side and then the calories you've eaten on the other, but I'm pretty sure that one isn't out there.
[Rant/Rave] How do clothes and shoes weigh this much?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 11:02:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jme5h/how_do_clothes_and_shoes_weigh_this_much/
---
Snuck a peek at the scale at my doctor's office, and it said I weigh 5 pounds more than I do! FIVE POUNDS. And apparently that makes all the difference, because I finally opened up to him about relapsing, and he was like, "I'm not too worried about that." Because not only am I fat, I'm 5 pounds fatter than how fat I actually am.
[Rant/Rave] Comments on my weight
/u/RainyDayDaydream [5'7 | GW: Air | Lady]
Created: Mon Jun 26 08:22:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jld4v/comments_on_my_weight/
---
A friend of mine recently commented to me on how I look so 'healthy' and then asked 'Have you gained weight?' Which resulted in me not functioning for the rest of the day and also resulted in a long therapy session today, which just finished. I was just feeling slightly better. I told my parents about this friend and her comment. I walked straight into both my parents just now. Told them therapy went good. Then my dad grabs my leg (my as he puts it 'chicken leg') and squeezes it then asks 'Have you gained weight?' While laughing.
Someone, please kill me. I'm going to do some exercise and not eat.
[Rant/Rave] PRAISE GOD
/u/downhillbattle
Created: Mon Jun 26 08:17:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jlc8k/praise_god/
---
So I've had the same scale since I was a literal toddler (I remember getting on it and being 40 pounds and getting frustrated that I wasn't growing). Every time I get on it I'm like "is this really what I weigh? Am I actually like 20 pounds heavier???" but I never want to buy a new one because what if I really am way heavier than I thought? It would crush me!!
Then my mom brought one home last night and made me try it. After we had just gone out and had a massive amount of Mexican food. And I had all my clothes on. I was PETRIFIED.
Plot twist: I'm a good 10 pounds lighter than I thought!!!!! What an incredible revelation (that is actually unhealthy to be so happy about but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
[Discussion] How much does your SO know?
/u/shakyjellyfish [5'2 | CW 105 | BMI 19.2| GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 08:10:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jlany/how_much_does_your_so_know/
---
I've only admitted to my body image issues but I think he is starting to catch on to the disordered eating because he keeps asking me when I last ate.
[Rant/Rave] Maintaining is hard :/ [TW: recovery, ranting]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 08:07:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jla5a/maintaining_is_hard_tw_recovery_ranting/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Is it just me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 07:34:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jl3tj/is_it_just_me/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I half expect to see something on this sub from my housemate about me
/u/like_a_living_thing [5'4" | 110 | F | 👽]
Created: Mon Jun 26 07:30:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jl2vb/sometimes_i_half_expect_to_see_something_on_this/
---
I hope this post doesn't come across as narcissistic. It's mostly me venting.
She's much heavier than me(obese by bmi but it's all muscle from the yoga, according to her) and has been wanting to lose weight for awhile but hasn't been able to. All she talks about is how "she hasn't eaten alllll daaaayyyy" but she's a bit of a compulsive liar and I know she binges on takeout at work and at night. She seems to want everyone to think she's anorexic chic or whatever, she does seem to have more of a binge eating issue. I dunno, it irks me.
I don't talk about my ED. We live in a house with a lot of people, and the only person who knows ANYTHING about it is my boyfriend. He's pretty clueless and supports me in my goals, knows I have body image issues, and encourages me to be healthy. I do not mention these issues to anyone else.
I try, very successfully, to hide my eating habits. I wake up earlier than everyone else and just don't eat until dinner, where I'll often have a normal sized portion and a snack. Nobody notices that that's all I eat that day(besides my boyfriend). However, it is hard to hide that I run 5 miles a day, and typically walk 5-10 more. That is harder to hide, but pretty easy to pass off at health nut behavior.
It seems to frustrate my housemate that I am thinner than her even though, to her knowledge, I don't proclaim the ED narrative she does to anyone who will listen. She tries to compete with me over who has "eaten less." She wins these "competitions," as I lie and say I've eaten usually or just don't say anything. She also likes to compete with exercise and claim that she is in as good of shape as me, which just.... no. That one really triggers my body dysmorphia. I feel really bad saying this but she is obese and I could not stand looking like her, but sometimes I look in the mirror and see it, despite the fact that I'm maybe 50 lbs lighter. It's really frustrating to be around her, and makes me feel like a bad person when my ED is motivated by her habits.
Back to the title, I sometimes wonder if I will see a post from her on here. I don't think she uses reddit, but then, no one knows I post here either. She might be able to identify me from the information in this post, and then she'd know about my ED. Sorry for all the venting, thank you for listening if you've read this.
TL;DR: frustrating housemate, bitchy me
[Discussion] Stores or brands that carry smaller sizes?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.6 | -27.4 | F | G: 99]
Created: Mon Jun 26 07:20:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jl166/stores_or_brands_that_carry_smaller_sizes/
---
I went to GAP to buy jeans, but most of the sizes they had were 29/30/31, while I'm a size 24/25. Where can I find smaller sizes?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! June 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 26 06:14:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jkpbt/weekly_stats_update_june_26_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for June 26, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 26, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 26 06:14:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jkpb1/daily_food_diary_june_26_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 26, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Weightloss calculators.
/u/Porcelainepeony [5'4"| CW: 119 | GW: ≤105 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 06:00:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jkmrz/rant_weightloss_calculators/
---
I've been using weight loss calculators and I feel crushed. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly didn't expect 3lbs a week. I didn't expect any of this to be easy, I know I'm going to have to put in the work and I'm willing to, but 3lbs a week? That's just shy of a month to lose 10lbs and regardless of what the numbers say I feel like that is unacceptable, it makes me want to cry. Obviously I'm eating too much, obviously i'm not working out hard enough.
I'm willing to do it, I need this more than anything. I have no problem consuming ~500 calories a day, the idea of it doesn't intimidate me in the least. It's going to be worth it but I guess the immortal words of Marilyn Manson prove true, "It's a long hard road out of hell."
[Thinspo] caminimm on Instagram. Look at that waist!
/u/futureskinnybitch123
Created: Mon Jun 26 05:31:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jki7p/caminimm_on_instagram_look_at_that_waist/
---
https://i.redd.it/2b0a7vn07z5z.jpg
[Help] What happens when you tell your doctor you have an eating disorder?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 04:46:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jkbz1/what_happens_when_you_tell_your_doctor_you_have/
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I think I need to tell my primary care about my restriction/eating issues. Has anyone ever done this? I'm worried he'll stop treating me, or it'll go on my medical record and cause problems in the future, or raise my health insurance. Do they just refer you and that's that?
I'm so nervous.
Thank you guys!
[Other] MyFitnessPal users
/u/devotchkaa
Created: Mon Jun 26 04:21:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jk8p2/myfitnesspal_users/
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[removed]
[Tip] Folder recommendation: me|thinspo|me|thinspo|me|thinspo|me
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Mon Jun 26 04:13:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jk7mt/folder_recommendation/
---
http://imgur.com/a/gVBlv
[Help] Can someone calculate the number of calories in this? (That is almond butter on the right btw)
/u/cum_slut666
Created: Mon Jun 26 03:03:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjz2q/can_someone_calculate_the_number_of_calories_in/
---
https://i.redd.it/tb2b48vogy5z.jpg
[Help] Confused about my weight 🙄
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 26 02:01:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjrro/confused_about_my_weight/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] [Intro] hello lurker, but not new to ed forums (trigger warning: abuse, SI)
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 98.8 | BMI 19.5 | HW 125 | GW 85]
Created: Mon Jun 26 01:35:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjonj/intro_hello_lurker_but_not_new_to_ed_forums/
---
Hey! I've lurked here and all the fitness/weight loss subs but I thought I'd start posting.
I have been in the ED communities since I was 10 (but I had lied about my age. Funny back then I wanted to be older...now I want to be younger)! I'm on TF with a similar username but thought I'd seek support here too.
My ED has come and gone in my life. Or at least I've had periods where I haven't really thought too much about food. I am short and since I am pear shaped most people have never thought of me as overweight even though I have been (high weight 125). But even when not thinking about my ED I've always exercised.
I've never officially been diagnosed (although one therapist really wanted to refer me to an ED specialist). I used to restrict and fast, I have tried chew/spitting too. Lately I've been vomiting with some binges or just vomiting everything I eat. But I am kinda trying to transition to restricting and purging via exercise or chew/spitting... because to me that's "healthier"
I was sexually abused as a young child (i don't remember it), come from a single-parent household, and been an emotionally abusive romantic relationship. I have had depression and had suicidal ideation in the past but not for 7 years. I'm also a minority so I think sometimes my ED is about being able to control some part of my physical appearance since I can't change my race. IDK!
But mostly my ED is about aesthetics. I really want thin thighs. Once on a forum someone said they had 17inch thighs and they looked great to me so that's just been my goal for a while now.
Ugh I was really triggered the other day on a date. We were talking about high school sports and I said I ran. And he said "track right?" and I said "no cross-country" and he said "oh that's surprising" and I said "why" and he was like "you just have a sprinter's body". UGH damn being pear shaped.
This was long and TMI but I will be posting here so I thought I'd give some background into me and my life so I'm not a stranger!
[Discussion] For those who use lax.
/u/lyhndzie [5'5" | CW: 137.4lbs | BMI: 22.8 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 26 01:29:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjnym/for_those_who_use_lax/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Just a little thinspo...her jaw line...her hipbones...her arms
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Mon Jun 26 01:11:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjlpy/just_a_little_thinspoher_jaw_lineher_hipbonesher/
---
https://68.media.tumblr.com/b4d39e911b8f4639e729954142a6e4bb/tumblr_opn7cq68kA1wp20tno1_540.png
[Discussion] Feel good thread
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Mon Jun 26 01:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjlmz/feel_good_thread/
---
On mobile so flair as discussion of rant rave
I feel like a lot of my posts are selfish and about me but I want to just open this up to anyone. I'll leave some questions and if people feel like answering them that's cool. Answers don't have to relate to ED stuff
Let's make this positive and loving for everyone. We all deserve love.
Willow.
What is the last thing that made you happy?
What is something you are proud of?
Favorite animal and why?
Something you did that was difficult?
What is one thing you can do today to show yourself love?
[Help] Is there a weight loss app out there that doesn't start bitching at you when you eat less than 1000 calories?
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Mon Jun 26 01:08:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjlc5/is_there_a_weight_loss_app_out_there_that_doesnt/
---
I currently use both MyFitnessPal and Lose It. I like MyFitnessPal slightly better but I transfer my food diary into Lose It because it USED TO show me a projected date when I'll reach my goal weight. It no longer shows me and warns that I'm being unhealthy. (I know I'm unhealthy, show me my end date!)
So, is there a better app alternative out there? Thanks!
Not a bad day
/u/selfharmaccount123
Created: Mon Jun 26 00:32:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jjgp5/not_a_bad_day/
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https://i.redd.it/m6fszluqpx5z.png
[Tip] Do Not Binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 23:37:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jj922/do_not_binge/
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[deleted]
[Other] I want to be invisible
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 23:36:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jj8z8/i_want_to_be_invisible/
---
I sometimes have the typical body image stuff, like wanting to be thin and attractive and stylish. Lately that shit has turned on its head.
Any kind of attention for my appearance makes me cringe and shrink away in fear. I don't want to be seen in that way anymore. I'd rather be sickly thin to virtually invisible.
My personality comes off as "too much." It was too much in the northeast, and now, in the south, is just outrageous. I've done all I've can to be quieter, nicer, less obnoxious and it hasn't worked. I want to starve it away so I am basically a fly on the wall that nobody notices. No one can hate you if you don't exist.
I just don't want to bother anyone anymore.
[Discussion] I was looking up ways to train yourself to dislike food, and this link came up. I am definitely going to get her books when I can :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 23:11:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jj5fj/i_was_looking_up_ways_to_train_yourself_to/
---
http://archive.is/6Qhai
[Rant/Rave] FUCK! *yelling internally* and why I hate myself (a second update from the hospital.)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Sun Jun 25 22:29:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jiz3w/fuck_yelling_internally_and_why_i_hate_myself_a/
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On mobile flair as rant rave...
I was doing so well. I wanted to be better and I actually tried and my body as usual is not behaving as I want it to..
I just want to be able to walk. I just want to be able to leave and to be able to go back to work. I feel like I need to go back to fasting and starving even though anemia has given me a bit of a scare..
I just want my body and mind to be in sync. I dream of being able to eat to satisfy a mental craving like something sweet and my mind and body being in agreement when enough is enough.
I can barely walk. I've been bed ridden most of the day. I've been able to walk the 5 or 6 steps to be able to use the bathroom on my own and my nurse told me I might be able to try walking in the hallway.
I guess I got overly eager. Maybe it was stress. My blood pressure plummeted as soon as I stood up and the machine measured. The warning lights and the beeps and noises.
Robot tongue for "you are a failure and this is what you get! This is all your fault! You don't deserve to work! No one visited because no one cares about you! Your family came out of obligation but you aren't worth anyone's time!"
It's just the voices telling me I'm not good enough and never will be. I ate normal today and my body won't behave normal. Honestly I could probably go the rest of my stay without eating or eating very little or my old standby, rearranging and throwing away food to make it look like an effort was made.
I feel undeserving of health. I talked to my SO on video chat on messenger and they are excited to see me in a few weeks. I've been planning this trip for six months and I am committed to moving to the east coast in January but I feel like I need to be skinny and better by then.
I was thinking the fleeting thought if I tried moderate restriction like what normal people consider dieting I could lose an adequate amount by the end or the year at least enough to make a big dent not ultimate goal weight but halfway perhaps.
Instead now I feel betrayed by my body and my mind. God knows I probably put on weight during my stay and the scale can't be off by that much at the hospital even though it's just the be scale.
I don't feel like I deserve to eat anymore. I was going to order a popsicle or something safe for a late night snack and perhaps have some almond milk, my vegan guilty pleasure, instead I will just try to eat as little as possible.
I'm in tears. I just wanted to be able to walk. To stand without feeling faint but my blood pressure the way it is. I am a fall risk and this could push my discharge time our more. I only have two days until I am supposed to work again after today.
I feel hopeless and helpless. I wish there was a sad movie on. I feel defeated.
I am sorry friends and lovely beautiful spirits...i feel defeated.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Will I ever be satisfied?
/u/notlion [5'9.5" | 21.8 | 24F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 21:43:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jiruu/will_i_ever_be_satisfied/
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I tell myself I'll be happy with restricting at 800 a day. Happy when I reach 120 lbs.
But I realize that the closer I get, the less I want to weigh. The less I want to eat.
I am currently feeling guilty at 500 calories a day. And my new UGW is 110. Ugh. I'm never going to be happy, am I?
[Intro] introduction of sorts?
/u/blackcherrymerlost [5'8 | CW 142 | BMI 21.52 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 20:34:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jigmr/introduction_of_sorts/
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So I sort of just wanted to post about how my stomach feels like it might explode any second, but since this is also my first post I should probably introduce myself..?This might end up being really long so I apologize in advance haha okay here we go (also sorry about formatting, on mobile)
Throughout high school I was considered pretty skinny - by the time I graduated my BMI was around 18.2. I'd get a lot of comments about how skinny I was from friends and family members, some meant it as a compliment ("You could be a model!"), some worried I was starving myself (looking at you, mom). Despite all that, I still thought I was fat - my thighs were too big, my hips I could stand to lose at LEAST ten pounds.
Fast forward to a summer job I got after high school, where I was surrounded by food for two months straight. Yup. I promptly gained 20 lbs in two months, then 15 more in my first semester of university. I was full of self loathing, wishing so badly I was still as "fat" as I was in high school. Then in April 2015 my dad introduced me to my best friend (and consequently worst nightmare) - calorie counting. It was like magic! I was losing weight, learning all about macros and healthy foods and exercise and everything was coooool.
But eventually something just sort of... snapped? I was thinking about food all the time, logging every single thing that went into my mouth. Then I started bingeing, probably due to stress (school, life, you name it). And then it was out of boredom, and when I was upset, and when I was happy, etc etc. I looked up EDs online but didn't think I really identified with BED, because every site mentioned bingeing on "unhealthy" or "sugary" foods, whereas I was eating peanut butter out of the jar and/or shoving plain popcorn into my mouth (which is obviously different because those things are good for you right???)
Anyway, I've been lurking here for a few weeks now but the day I found this sub I almost cried because of how strongly I could relate to so many of your posts. It's kind of bittersweet because now I know for sure that I have some kind of ED, but it's just nice to know that there are communities like this one where people just GET it. Thank you for making me feel a little less alone in all of this <3
Sooo yeah, that's me. I just made this account today so that I could post, since some people IRL know my other username. Also, what prompted this post is the fact that I'd been doing so well with restricting since I came home from uni on Thursday, then today I pretty much ate non-stop and my stomach is so full so I might actually explode. AND I STILL WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. What is this life lmao
[Help] Has anyone managed to get help for their ED whilst not being underweight?
/u/smallsmallersmallest [166.5cm | CW 50.8kg GW 44kg | 18.46 | -10.2kg | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 20:18:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jidrv/has_anyone_managed_to_get_help_for_their_ed/
---
Everywhere I ask I get turned away because I'm a healthy weight. I've been told by my gp, my therapist, and at the hospital yesterday by a doctor and members of the mental health team that anorexia is the only eating disorder they can treat. I just want to know if help is even available for fat bulimics? I'm seriously miserable and this is just making me feel worse.
Side note, my flair is currently wrong. I'm a lot heavier than what it says but I haven't been brave enough to edit it.
[Help] ACCURATE BMR calculator????
/u/antkings [20.1 | plant boy]
Created: Sun Jun 25 20:12:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jicv9/accurate_bmr_calculator/
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does anyone know of an actually accurate calculator for BMR and TDEE??? I feel like I always get crazy high numbers
[Discussion] Does anyone else bruise at the slightest thing?
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F 🚬]
Created: Sun Jun 25 20:04:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jibjt/does_anyone_else_bruise_at_the_slightest_thing/
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I've always bruised pretty easy and I'm fair skinned so finding little mystery bruises every once in a while isn't a new occurrence for me. But lately I've been getting pretty huge bruises just from leaning or bumping up against stuff. Is this something anyone else has noticed that could be a side effect of restriction or getting close to the underweight range?
[Discussion] Favourite other websites?
/u/sqimahvn
Created: Sun Jun 25 19:42:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ji7xh/favourite_other_websites/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Festival's around the corner...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 19:38:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ji75t/festivals_around_the_corner/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fuck getting old and fat
/u/LaDiscotheque [5'7.5 | 135 | 20.7| F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 19:09:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ji1ie/fuck_getting_old_and_fat/
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So, tomorrow is my birthday.
A big night out involving socialising and drinking has been planned for me, but all I wanna do is go to the gym and sleep.
Everything is shit right now. I've been in treatment for the last month (partner came home from work early and caught me in mid-binge urgh) and, while it's really helping mentally, physically I feel disgusting. I am soooo fat right now yuck yuck yuck.
I weight 12lb more than I did this time last year. This and the pressure to go out and "have a good time" (lol), on top of turning TWENTY-FUCKING-NINE has me all panicked and bingey-feeling. ARGHHHH.
But I've been three weeks without purging, so that's something I guess? I don't know. Sorry for the ramble but I just needed to get this all off my chest :(
[Other] Idk why but this makes me laugh so hard
/u/nairoline
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:58:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhz5v/idk_why_but_this_makes_me_laugh_so_hard/
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https://i.redd.it/dwk7ov812w5z.png
[Intro] Intro- I hate that I need pills...
/u/alldaysleepiness
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:57:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhz0r/intro_i_hate_that_i_need_pills/
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Mods, please mark this as a rant or take it down if you feel its not appropriate to talk about perscription drug dependency on this sub... I know it can be triggering.
I've never posted anything before other then a few comments, but I'm having a really hard time right now.
I recently came off my antidepressants, anticonvulsants, and pain medications (I have degenerative disc disease and neuropathy after a failed discectomy and 3 laminectomies and currently being tested for a possible lumbar spinal fusion) because my husband switched jobs and we had to go a month without insurance. Before I was put on them, I was able to restrict to 900-1200 cals/day. While I was on them I could easily fast for atleast 24 hours. Now that I've been off of them for 2 weeks, I have no will power to say no! I have eaten out so much and keep going to the grocery store for snacks! I bought some garcinia cambogia to see if that helps, but I can not wait until the 3rd of July to get my insurance and perscriptions back.
The only thing that helped me get up in the morning was all the weight loss, but now I'm not losing and I'm in constant pain. I thought the withdrawls or pain would be the worst, but its the fact that I'm a lazy piece of shit who can't stop herself from eating.... I really need my anti-depressants in case you can't tell :/
[Thinspo] She is so radiant and thin!! 🙌 Using this for PoC summer inspiration
/u/trackandhp7 [5'3" | 107 | 18.5 |]
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhyws/she_is_so_radiant_and_thin_using_this_for_poc/
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https://i.redd.it/07mxlgcu1w5z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Triggered by housemate
/u/hana__ [163cm | CW: 85kg | GW:50kg | -10kg | 24F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:53:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhy71/rant_triggered_by_housemate/
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The past few weeks I've really been struggling, going to extremes either not eating at all or eating 4000 a day. Meanwhile my housemate has been 'forgetting' to eat, and keeps bragging about how much weight she has lost, how her clothes are all baggy, how she's never hungry, and detailing how long it's been since she last had a meal. I feel like an absolute failure, how can it be so easy for her when I'm thinking about food literally every second. Of course my natural response is to binge.
Starting a water fast today, I'm studying at the moment so can't go too extreme, but need to get myself back on track.
[Rant/Rave] I lowered my UGW again.
/u/lacey_lovely [5'3" | CW 101 | BMI 18.4 | UGW 88? | 23F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:41:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhvl5/i_lowered_my_ugw_again/
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I started at 112.4 with a goal of 105 because it's what I used to maintain. Then I lowered it to 102 because it was my high school weight. Then 100 because it's a pretty number and what's on my driver's license. Then 97 because it's the only weight I remember from when I was thinnest. Then 92 because I found out a model my height weighs 42 kg. Then 90 because I wanted to be one standard deviation below the mean BMI of Vietnamese women in my age bracket (yeah, long story).
Today I found the stats of a model whose body I adore. She's 1 cm taller than me and apparently weighs 41 kg. To match her BMI I would need to be 89 pounds. But no. 88 is a prettier number. So I need to be 88 pounds.
I hate this. I'm sure I'll hit 100 next week, but I can't even be happy about it because now it's only the halfway point. All I can see is how much further I have to go, how long it will take me to get there, and how much I'm going to suffer along the way.
I'm so frustrated I'm about to cry. I *need* to stop moving the goalposts, but I don't want to feel trapped. I want to say here that I'm not lowering my goal past 88 and make myself accountable to you guys, but I can't. I just can't.
God, I want this to be over. I'm watching myself fall deeper and deeper down this hole, but it feels more like I'm *climbing* down the hole because I *want* to be at the bottom.
[Help] |Help/advice| Calories in unsweetened teavanna passion tango tea??
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |113.2 | -106.8 | GW: 110 | UGW:100 | 20A]
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:38:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhv3a/helpadvice_calories_in_unsweetened_teavanna/
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I've been drinking a shit ton of this tea since I found some in the back of my pantry from when my sister used to work at Starbucks. It doesn't have any info on the box but I assumed that yknow, since they're just unsweetened tea bags there would be a negligible amount of calories in them. Now that I'm looking it up I'm getting counts between zero and 70??? Per serving??? I'm so confused and freaking out over potentially drinking 140+ calories in tea a day and not tracking it.......heeeelllpp (´Д` )
/I can't stop thinking about this and I feel so stupid...stupid for caring and stupid for not checking in the first place...
[Rant/Rave] Condition update since being in hospital
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:34:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhu9g/condition_update_since_being_in_hospital/
---
On mobile flair as rant rave.
First off thanks to everyone for the good vibes and well wishes that really means a lot. I love you all.
When I came in the the hospital i was weak, faint and severely anemic and probably malnourished from a few weeks of intense fasting and running myself ragged.
It's been about a day and things are looking up. I've had to meals, vegan still despite everyone telling me to quit but I refuse. I feel like I have restricted a bit but forcing myself to eat three meals for my own good is challenging.
It's almost like the staff don't know I have an ED because I am eating so I feel like a faker. There is a lot of anxiety around eating and lots of calculating still but I feel like I need to try and take care of myself and eat. Even if the ED voice tells me not Too.
My dad visited me and brought some comfort snacks to raise my spirits. I am the proud owner of a cliff bar and some mini Oreos and will do my best to eat them in moderation and to allow myself to have them.
I often feel undeserving of food and eating especially sweets but I will allow someone to make efforts of being nice to me.
I am slightly less anemic as of now. I've been able to use the bathroom by myself which is huge when you are bed ridden for a couple days.
I may try to just restrict upon discharge as I think fasting is semi responsible for making me anemic I'm the first place.
I am looking foreword to being done with this ordeal. This is not fun and it's sucks a lot. Being in a bed all day and feeling weak, missing work, feeling alone.
Thank you again to everyone who commented before you are all wonderful and loving and beautiful. I love this community.
Continue sending good vibes, pleasant pm's, well wishes and positive prayers.
Willow
[Discussion] Do you ever want to throw op even though you haven't eaten?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 18:22:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhrym/do_you_ever_want_to_throw_op_even_though_you/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm relearning what it's like to not feel full
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 17:23:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhh6b/im_relearning_what_its_like_to_not_feel_full/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Checklist for a school trip to Belgium?
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| GW: to disappear | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 17:11:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhf48/checklist_for_a_school_trip_to_belgium/
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I mentioned I have a school trip to Belgium in another post and I've decided to go! The only problem is, the tip is for an assumed 22 hours! Meaning, I leave at around 02:00 AM and return 11:00 PM.
Talking to a friend whose already been on the trip, I'll spend around 6 hours driving there, 5 hours IN Belgium and 6 hours on the way back, not counting the two breaks. I'm really nervous because I don't know what to take with me foodwise and what Belgium safe foods I can buy (as in what are your go to diet foods over there). We're going to the trenches and a chocolate factory then I'm not sure what we'll do. I'm planning on having some chips/fries (since French fries are originally from Belgium), waffles and whatever local delicacy is Halal.
I'm taking around €40 with me and I want to pack my own lunch but I'm gennerally a lost person. Main list of worries includes:
- What do I have for lunch?
- How many diet/zero cokes can I get away with having (do I take a 6 pack? they're on sale at the moment)
- What phrases should I know?
- What do I pack in general? (hoodie, chargers, books)
- What do I wear? (I have the outfit planned but I don't know if I should take a hoodie or a jacket, do I even have a nice enough jacket oh my gosh)
I'm an anxious as fuck person so I'll try and figure this out as soon as so I can chill. If anyone is interested, I've ordered an original Kanken backpack so space shouldn't be that much of an issue.
[Rant/Rave] Family didn't even notice me not eating last week
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Sun Jun 25 16:58:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jhcnq/family_didnt_even_notice_me_not_eating_last_week/
---
So, my dad and step-mom have sometimes long days at work and last week was like that, so they came home at around 19 the whole week. Every day they either had already had dinner at work or brought fast food home for themselves, but I noticed how they did not once ask me whether I had already eaten or if I wanted something from the store. And I don't know what to think about that: I am glad I got to skip dinner the whole week and happy they didn't notice it , but at the same time it makes me kinda...sad? Like, it felt odd how they didn't even ask about if I had eaten. And in a fucked up way it makes me feel like they must think I'm really fat - if I were skinny, they'd surely be more worried about my feeding, right...? Okay, I end my mindless ranting about this thing. I just don't know how to feel.
[Rant/Rave] DAE think they're recovering, accidentally lose and then spiral?
/u/purpleorangeblu
Created: Sun Jun 25 16:43:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jh9um/dae_think_theyre_recovering_accidentally_lose_and/
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I've been doing really well in therapy and with eating. I've only been exercising three times a week for an hour, too. Then BOOM. I weigh myself last week, find I'm down 5 pounds. Ever since then, I've downloaded calorie tracker hours, running for hours, and not eating. Ugh!!! I just want to have a healthy relationship with food. But I also want to be skinny. At what point do I have do decide whether I want a "normal" life or just say screw all and submit to this disorder?
[Other] Didn't see the Sunday haul post today but here's what I just got from the store
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |113.2 | -106.8 | GW: 110 | UGW:100 | 20A]
Created: Sun Jun 25 16:37:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jh8tx/didnt_see_the_sunday_haul_post_today_but_heres/
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http://imgur.com/pIOvKEM
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend broke up with me and is dating a skinnier girl
/u/Bulbaroar
Created: Sun Jun 25 16:28:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jh73b/my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_and_is_dating_a/
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This girl is notoriously skinny, and by that I mean everyone thinks she's anorexic. She's been my thinspo for ages now and has been such a motivation to lose weight. My boyfriend started talking to her while we were dating and when I questioned him about her he denied any romantic connection. This time two weeks ago he broke up with me and started seeing her. Since then I've gone from 120 pounds to 113. Is revenge a healthy motivation? I hate myself so much for being fatter than her.
[Discussion] Math?
/u/WhattheNorris [5'2 | -5 lb | ugw 99]
Created: Sun Jun 25 16:23:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jh675/math/
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I don't have a scale so everything is a total numbers game for me. I keep a notepad widget on my phone to count my calories. It started at (pounds I want to lose)x3500 and I count down each day what I burn. I also keep a tab on what's burned so I can add that up to pounds and keep that on the note. Does anyone else do math like this to keep track of things?
[Rant/Rave] Feel like a failure...
/u/GayAvenger [5'3" | CW: 136lbs | BMI: 23.7 | WL: 21lbs | TransMale]
Created: Sun Jun 25 15:57:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jh14k/feel_like_a_failure/
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I feel like such a failure today...
I was aiming for a 16 hour fast, but only did 14 hours before making French toast and getting Chinese takeaway...
I only ate half of what I got, but what I got could probably feed 3 or 4 people.
(I got egg fried rice, and sweet and sour chicken balls)
I have the rest for tomorrow lunch, but I don't want to coz that would have to be the only thing I eat, but there is so much temptation at school since I go out at break and lunch with my friends and we hang around the shop.
I dunno what to do...
should I take it with me for lunch? or get rid of the rest and just have what I usually have at school? (apart from breakfast because I'm trying an overnight 16 hour fast - trying to make it routine)
I don't even know how many calories in that take away. I probably don't want to know, but if anyone has any guesses, then feel free to let me know roughly.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like a failure for wanting to be healthy before I'm skinny
/u/theobeseana [5'7"|CW168|HW206|GW114|she/her/hers]
Created: Sun Jun 25 15:40:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgxx6/i_feel_like_a_failure_for_wanting_to_be_healthy/
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I've been worried about my health and the way I've been impacting others, so about a week ago I decided to take a step towards recovery. I still meticulously track and restrict everything that isn't a fruit or vegetable, but I let myself relax on those things and I honestly feel so much happier and healthier. Honestly I'm still rarely going over 1,000 calories because I'm eating mostly fruits and vegetables, but somehow it feels like I "gave up" before I got skinny.
Why the fuck does attempting to recover from an eating disorder feel like "giving up on my diet". I'm still fat but I'm still losing. Yet it feels like I failed. Taking steps toward health feel like giving up. Fuck this voice in my head.
... not to happy with this :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 14:50:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgo03/not_to_happy_with_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/rh7mhlxstu5z.jpg
[Discussion] I use intermittent fasting as an excuse for never eating
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 14:46:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgn7n/i_use_intermittent_fasting_as_an_excuse_for_never/
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I'm asking fairly often (especially at work) why no one ever sees me eat. I've been telling everyone for the past few months that I do IF.
Apparently someone got really interested and started IF on a 16/8 schedule and is super disappointed that she's not losing weight as quickly as I did. If she only knew.....
As a side note, am I an awful person for getting a little bit of joy from this situation?
[Rant/Rave] Cycling through different symptoms so fast (bulimia/Ana/BED)
/u/evwagen
Created: Sun Jun 25 14:44:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgmpw/cycling_through_different_symptoms_so_fast/
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[removed]
[Help] Can't eat
/u/Such_fruits_as_these [5'3 | 111 | 20.39 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 14:18:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jghn9/cant_eat/
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I've been between 50-200 cals this week and it's just not enough, my blood sugar is all fucked up, advice on how to eat more when I really don't feel like I can?
[Intro] Isolated
/u/LoofyImHome [5'6 | 129.6 | 20.9 | 80 lost| f]
Created: Sun Jun 25 14:03:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgenz/isolated/
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I have never told anyone about my problems with eating. Any mention of healthy food or being "good" with eating is met with eye rolls because the people in my life are mostly some amount overweight and losing their battle with weight loss. I suppose they think I'm rubbing it in but not being able to say anything about this enormous all consuming struggle that lives inside me is making me feel so alone and isolated.
So I decided to stop lurking here and create a throwaway. I also made a Peach account but won't add anyone I know in real life. It Anyone wants to be my friend on there please add me at LoofyImHome. I like seeing what other peoples lives are about.
[Rant/Rave] "you don't look sick so you must be fine"
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | 27 F 🍋]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:53:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgcoe/you_dont_look_sick_so_you_must_be_fine/
---
fuck you. i'm so pissed off. i can't believe i married this person.
you want sick? i'll give you sick, even if it kills me. ESPECIALLY if it kills me. one way or another, i'm going to make you look at me.
[Rant/Rave] I restricted instead of binging!!
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:51:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgc9r/i_restricted_instead_of_binging/
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Ok, it's not really something I should be proud of, and I probably won't last the rest of the day, but so far I've had about 350 calories. I *SEEERRRIIIOOOUUSSLLYYY* wanted to binge, but my dad and sister are watching tv, and from where they're sitting they can see the kitchen. I'm too scared of eating in front of them without them giving me food (dinner, lunch, etc.) that even knowing there are cookies, chocolates, chips and pickles are in there, I haven't binged. I feel so proud! I know I didn't really do anything, it wasn't my choice, but.. Still. I looked at some thinspo and have lost my appetite/cravings. I just don't know how I'll hide my growling stomach!
[Rant/Rave] 16 days of recovery down
/u/vermillionfate [5'1 | CW: 102lbs | recovery, for now | ✨]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:48:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgbpm/16_days_of_recovery_down/
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...And it's hard. It's so fucking hard. Recovery weight gain is driving me craaazy. I'm also on my period so I think some of it is bloating but I feel so gross and out of control. I've been eating whatever I want generally and I just don't feel overly successful.
The upside is that I have my personality back mostly! I don't feel like a shell during the day because I'm starving, but the drawback to that is I've been getting bored more. I'm trying to channel that into reading/drawing/music instead of obsessing about other dumb shit.
I'm not gonna lie, I really miss my ED. I know how fucked up that is, but it gave me something to focus on and strive for and now that I'm in recovery I have to feel my shitty emotions and process them.
I'm also hoping that some of my weight gain is muscle since I've been doing hot yoga almost every other day and my arms are getting pretty jacked. We'll see.
Hope everyone is doing well. I'm trying to not browse too much but I needed to reach out today. Two weeks and two days down.
[Help] What doctor to visit for depression?
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 130lbs | 21.07 | GW: <114 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:46:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jgbae/what_doctor_to_visit_for_depression/
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I just moved and don't really have a primary doctor set up. I don't want to see a counselor, but I don't think I know function anymore without anti-depressants. I keep getting worse. It's not healthy for my new marriage (married in August) and I feel like I'm ruining everything because I've refused to get help. I don't even know where to begin. Everything is my fault and my husband deserves so much better.
My mom and twin have been on anti-depressants in the past and have advised me to do the same. They've said that they've helped. I've been trying to do it on my own (apparently that doesn't work - and I hate myself even more) but it has gotten to the point where I cannot function properly.
TLDR*?* I don't know what doctor I need to visit. I know a few of you deal with depression and I am just curious about the next steps before it gets so bad that I'm not here anymore.
[Intro] This is my 35th post on this sub
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:38:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jg9lh/this_is_my_35th_post_on_this_sub/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Fake binge?
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:17:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jg5gt/fake_binge/
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Does anyone else feel like they are eating so much and they binged but it's really just a normal amount? Like I just ate some fried rice (like maybe a 1/2 cup) and some almond butter cups, and I know thats like nothing but it feels like so much. I don't know maybe this doesn't really make sense but I feel like I binged even though I know compared to a real binge it was like not a binge you know? Ok sorry rant over.
Also random question: and good Netflix reccomendations?
[Rant/Rave] “Whatever you’re doing, keep it up! It’s obviously working!”
/u/dontthinkineedyou [🌱 5'4 | F | GW: 107 🌻]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:09:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jg3vc/whatever_youre_doing_keep_it_up_its_obviously/
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This is my least favorite comment to receive, and somebody I know gives me this compliment every time he sees me. I feel bad because there’s no harm intended behind the comment. He thinks I’m a very smart and level-headed person, so naturally, I would never have any bad/unhealthy eating habits right? I’ve taken classes on this stuff. I’m the kind of person to obsessively research something before I do it. I should *know better*. And I DO know better. I just don’t care.
But of course, I can’t say anything. I don’t want anyone to feel guilty that they’re basically been congratulating me for my increasingly disordered eating and shitty body image. I guess the plus side of being “smart” about this is that I can easily make excuses. If I’m questioned, people will just accept that I know what I’m doing. “I did my research.” I’m mostly grateful for this because I fully plan on keeping it up (because it IS working) and I hate people interfering. But I guess part of me is also offended that unless I straight up ask for help–which I’ll never do–no one will help me until I’m on the brink of falling apart, if they even notice. And I’m 100% sure that people will make comments about how they can’t understand why I would be so stupid as to let this happen to myself.
(I just want to be clear that I’m NOT saying having an ED or disordered eating has *anything* to do with your intelligence! This is just my personal experience, so many people have told me I should have been ‘smarter than that’ when bad things happen in my life. Like knowing some basic facts is a bulletproof vest or something.🙄)
[Thinspo] Some of my fav bodies/goals (thinspo)
/u/sofugginsmol [5'4" | 148lbs | GW:100 | -10lbs. | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 13:04:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jg2we/some_of_my_fav_bodiesgoals_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/SUXiW
[Rant/Rave] Binge eating feels like drugs? I really can't get over those urges.
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 12:50:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfzzx/binge_eating_feels_like_drugs_i_really_cant_get/
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Excuse my language. I think I'm PMSing and in a weird place.
So I was totally unfocused today (should have been studying). I couldn't stop thinking about binge eating. But I knew I couldn't purge because I fucked up my stomach purging too much last week, so I'm in constant agony. Essentially, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
So the day goes on and I'm just degenerating into this weird mess of I don't even know. I'm on all the delivery websites-Domino's, JustEat...I settle on Domino's and I spend literally 2 hours mulling over the cart/checkout page. Eventually, I go "fuck it. I'm just gonna make up for it this week."
I buy a shit ton of food and I end up at 2500kcal for today. But then I got super motivated. I physically felt like shit, but that weird tension was gone and I wanted to do work again. And then I planned out how to eat my leftovers which helped calm me down too. Goal is to max out each day around 500kcal by stretching it out with 1-2 slices of pizza/day.
So lol.** TLDR:** felt distracted by binge urges, bought pizza and random stuff, ate a lot of food, and then felt better. Now, am going to restrict like hell with the leftovers.
DAE get these weird ups and downs? The relief you get from doing (binge eating) or not doing (restricting/fasting) feels so good and so goddamn immediate.
[Rant/Rave] I ate nothing for three days and then I hiked 8 miles up a mountain
/u/eightstone [Height: 5ft 7 | CW: 9st 12lbs| BMI: 21 | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 12:40:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfxvn/i_ate_nothing_for_three_days_and_then_i_hiked_8/
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I felt so faint and wobbly by the end of the hike. I actually threw up. I felt awful but I felt thin. And then I was shown photos taken of me on the hike and I have the FATTEST thighs (seriously) and a face like a misshapen potato. I was feeling so virtuous after hiking on no food. I actually felt like maybe I looked okay. But I'm still just disgusting. I know it's not the case that I am incapable of losing weight. I know because I've lost weight before. But when you're starving hungry and still look like a chubby monster it's so depressing. Some people make thin look effortless. I feel like I just don't look thin until I've starved myself for months, and I can never maintain that low weight. I've had my thyroid checked and it's apparently fine. My mum is obese and I'm scared that somehow I'm genetically inclined to be a whale.
[Discussion] Interesting article about Lord Byron's eating disorder 200 years ago
/u/saIad_days [5'3 | 99.4 | GW 80 | 18F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 12:18:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfti1/interesting_article_about_lord_byrons_eating/
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https://www.deepdyve.com/lp/wiley/lord-byron-Vwb30q0E35
[Rant/Rave] Things you don't say to a girl with an ED, dickwad...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57kg | BMI 19.05 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 12:00:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfq02/things_you_dont_say_to_a_girl_with_an_ed_dickwad/
---
Went to a friend's house last night because I had been planning a takeaway alllll week and he wanted to spend time with me so I thought I'd do a Normal Person Thing and we could get takeaway together.
Now, he knows I have an Eating Disorder. I told him in confidence and he was all supportive and "you're beautiful! You're so thin! You can talk to me about it!". Now I'm realising he just wanted to screw me because I went over to his house and I had:
1 sweet and sour tofu
Half a container of rice
Crispy seaweed.
He just kept commenting the ENTIRE time about how much I was eating and I *told* him to shut up, I *told* him that that is not how you talk to your friends with eating disorders.
Anyway, I ate my meal as best as I could because I had fucking *earned* it after last week. Then we went to his room and watched TV and he kept trying to get with me so I left.
I'm so pissed off at him, so I'm just cutting him out. I tried to be a normal human being and eat a meal with a friend, but he set me back a few steps. Now I am back to never wanting to eat in front of people again.
[Rant/Rave] Told my friends about my ED
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sun Jun 25 11:56:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfp4g/told_my_friends_about_my_ed/
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Basically said how I feel like shit after I eat. I would rather not eat then eat. I blame worldly problems like train delays on myself and then use that as an executive not to eat. I don't want to stop starving until I see bones etc. But I don't want to get help. I also don't think they understand how illogical this all is. They said "you're fine that's a healthy weight for your height". I don't want to be fucking healthy. I want to be skinny as fuck and it's not for society, it's not to be attractive to anyone else. I doubt many guys would think a girl with my height and my gw was very healthy. I tried to explain to them that you can't fight irrationality with logic, but i guess they don't really understand. I know this is unhealthy. I might die. I know that. I know I didn't cause a train delay. Of course I didn't. I have low self esteem and it's related to my ED, but there's more to it. Idk I'm just so frustrated. I know I can't expect them to understand since they're all muggles, but it's so agitating. Me having an ED is not the same as you not liking your stomach. You don't really mind since you know you're healthy. I want to be so unhealthy. I starve and I binge and I try to purge, but I don't because it's the one line I won't cross. I do all this shit and i still feel like a fraud. I'm not skinny. I'm not underweight. Do I even have an ED? Maybe if I become underweight I'll be able to justify myself to other people. That's my line of thought. So it's not society's fault. I didn't develop an ED because i played with Barbies and watched too many Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Some mental illnesses are a coping mechanism and I think this is my coping mechanism. I feel less anxious when I feel hungry. I can focus on the hunger and the pain instead of my troubles. Picking food to eat makes me feel like I have a semblance of control. Losing weight makes me feel accomplished. I hate not being to eat normally, but I would rather starve than eat normally and gain weight. That's the difference between you and me.
Tldr: Told my friends about my ED. They don't get it.
[Thinspo] Tiny waist (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Sun Jun 25 11:53:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfodh/tiny_waist_ﾉヮﾉﾟ/
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https://i.redd.it/pr6ap4xyxt5z.jpg
[Discussion] People can't be honest
/u/anauhiram96 [176cm | 57kg | 18.4 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 11:45:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfmqo/people_cant_be_honest/
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First time posting and I'm not sure exactly what to do. But I've got this huge issue going through my mind. I don't necessarily have an ED but I have a ton of issues with food and body image and what not.
Anywho, my problem is this: I don't think I have body dismorphia at all, like I'm aware I'm not huuge, or super ugly, but I'm also aware that I'm not necessarily pretty. The problem with this is that sometimes I want a reality check, I want someone to tell me exactly just how unattractive I am, but people seem to feel uncomfortable with that and so they lie. Like they'll say oh no, you're fine, you're skinny, you're just as skinny as that random girl passing by, but I really know it's not true.
So I don't know, essentially I just think people exaggerate how pretty or skinny I am in order to try to make me feel better, but since I know they're exaggerating I just feel like I can't trust anyone. Anyone else get this?
[Rant/Rave] What is wrong with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 11:29:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfjj3/what_is_wrong_with_me/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does sriracha have calories? Label says no but when I scan it it says it has 5 per tsp!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 11:12:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfg6g/does_sriracha_have_calories_label_says_no_but/
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https://i.redd.it/p29mp0qtqt5z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My boss unintentionally motivates my restriction
/u/xxx07v
Created: Sun Jun 25 10:52:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jfc9a/my_boss_unintentionally_motivates_my_restriction/
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So I started working at a new place just a few weeks ago and I can't believe it but my boss is now my new motivation to restrict. To put it simply, he only eats ONE MEAL A DAY and somehow, all the other colleagues acknowledge it and have no qualms about it. It does irk me a bit that they don't think it's an issue (maybe cause he's a guy??) but when I skip a meal once or twice they ask me all sorts of questions. BUT watching him having only black coffee for breakfast and another cup in the afternoon gives me such 'positive' strength when it comes to restricting that I feel strangely great having just coffee for breakfast. Seeing him being all productive and energetic with only coffee alone makes me feel like I can be as equally productive at work with just coffee and makes adjusting to the new workplace so much better. Okay end of my mini rave!
[Rant/Rave] I like that my boyfriend likes my progress but I wish he didn't because he knew it was unhealthy.
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Sun Jun 25 10:33:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jf8j1/i_like_that_my_boyfriend_likes_my_progress_but_i/
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My boyfriend knows next to nothing about weightloss/dieting/etc since he's always been a thin little bean boy. I've been telling him about my weight loss, updating him pound per pound what I've lost. I feel like anyone should be alarmed by the fact that in 3 weeks I've lost 12 pounds but I can't blame him for not knowing. He assumes that I've been doing things healthily instead of eating at an extreme deficit and working out until I'm faint. I love him for being proud of my progress but I kinda wish he knew the truth. Not that I'll ever tell him, though.
[Other] I just want to thank everyone here.
/u/babyslug [5'0 | CW: 83 | 22 | F | 🍑: @babyslug]
Created: Sun Jun 25 10:05:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jf2yz/i_just_want_to_thank_everyone_here/
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I'm procrastinating on my to-do list items and feeling sappy/in a good mood for some reason, so here we go. I really appreciate everyone on here for posting your highs and lows, and being so honest and helpful. Just a month ago, I was so miserable and I felt so alone in the universe. I'd just graduated from college with no job, and I had pushed away all my friends in real life because I didn't think I could relate to anyone anymore. After finding this sub, something just kind of clicked for me.
I'm still a sick, fucked up mess, but I'm slowly getting better in other aspects. I'm identifying what things trigger my depressive moods and doing what I can to avoid them and experimenting with methods of dealing with them. I'm reaching out to my friends and reconnecting, slowly but surely. I'm letting out all my ugly ED thoughts to people who can understand, and trying harder to give the best of myself back. I've submitted tons more applications and I'm trying to stay positive despite the shit job market.
This post is all over the place, just thank you guys for everything. :')
[Rant/Rave] I need to rant
/u/082616 [5' 6.5"/127/22/F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 08:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jeosx/i_need_to_rant/
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On my phone so no flair.
I am a mess. I want my goal weight or at least first goal weight to be 125. I restricted heavily for a week or two or more than that probably then I reacted to stress negatively last Wednesday and relapsed. I purged. Two separate times that night then one the next. I haven't done it since though. But I have lost control and it sucks. I started my period at work on Thursday. That sucked. And it was weird cuz it was bright red and a lot of blood. Not like my usual period I'm use to. But whatever. Got a tampon from a coworker and all was good. I spent the night at my boyfriend's place Friday and all I ate was quite a bit of chips, two slices of cheese, and two cheap fruit bars. I think that was it. Then the next morning I was sitting there watching tv with him and I started feeling sick and my cheeks get hot. Yeah.. So I chewed some gum and thankfully that helped. Then I decided I'd have some cereal and almond milk, so I did. I eventually left when he went to work and went to a GNC store. Ended up getting two protein bars for work, a big cookie, and a snack/protein bar, Idk, I had the cookie and snack bar yesterday then the whole day went south. I ended up having a lot of lasagna, more (dark chocolate) peanut butter than I've had this year, lots of veggies with oils for dinner, and probably something else to eat. I also had a lot of water to drink yesterday so at least I did something right. This morning I had two pieces of white bread with the peanut butter then 3 cups of coffee, used the toilet once, one donut, and two little air heads. Idk. I'm a mess. I need to restrict again. This happened because I didn't eat much at my boyfriends and stress and missing food. I am easily 130 now. I need an Ana buddy. I need someone. I need help. I need a friend.
Edit: why did this happen? Because I didn't eat much of anything at my boyfriend's. How can I prevent this from happening again? Eat more when I am over. I am however proud I didn't eat any of the chocolate chip cookies he bought. Instead I ate a bunch of chips and two slices of cheese. I am going to be better. I can do this. I will eat better. I will not let yesterday define me. Ugh.
If you read all this, thank you. Truly.
[Rant/Rave] Honestly
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 07:52:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jef90/honestly/
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[deleted]
[Help] I did it and I'm not okay
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 07:36:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jecqi/i_did_it_and_im_not_okay/
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I tried to leave my narcissist ex behind. In my last post in this group I briefly mentioned him. I found out Friday he was on a date with someone new. THat's why he had been giving me the silent treatment. I was right. I just knew it.
well i freaked. totally lost it. collapse on the floor in a puddle of tears lost it. the next morning, i woke up and blogged about it. a very honest and open post. i made the post private, password protected. but some friends convinced me to make it public and tell my truth so i did and oh god oh god what the fuck did i do.
now there is no way to go back but i want to go back so bad i want to apologize i know i was right everyone says i was right he was a narcissist and an asshole and treated me so poorly but i would rather be treated like shit by him than not have him at all what the fuck do i do help
im not fucking okay
[Discussion] Does anyone else know exactly how they will look at their goal weight?
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Sun Jun 25 06:22:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6je244/does_anyone_else_know_exactly_how_they_will_look/
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The lowest I've been was 57-58 kg for my height (5'8'' I think). And I want to go lower then that.Because every time I look in the mirror I can just see all this excess fat and skin that I know just doesn't belong there.
This probably sounds confusing but I feel like I'm wearing a suit and that when I take it off I know that everything else in my life will be better?
I don't know what I'm trying to say but I figured some of you must know what I mean.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 25, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jun 25 06:11:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6je0g5/daily_food_diary_june_25_2017/
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This is a daily food diary thread for June 25, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Australian warm "sugary" drink fix
/u/blondebynature [5'3" | CW: I'm scared of scales | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 05:52:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jdxtt/australian_warm_sugary_drink_fix/
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Hey everyone,
I notice on here people keep talking about sugar free syrups at Starbucks which sounds amazingly awesome and I would probably live on them. However, I'm 90% sure Starbucks in Australia only has full sugar syrups. Does anyone know of any Australian cafes that do sugar free syrups? Or if I'm wrong about Starbucks? TIA. You guys are amazing :)
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else feel like they'll always be sick?
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 05:44:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jdwrk/anyone_else_feel_like_theyll_always_be_sick/
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Fair warning: this will be a whiny post. Ha. I got really upset last night thinking about this. I feel like I'll never get better. There's no middle ground. I've lost over twenty pounds so by now I should at least feel somewhat better about myself, but I really don't. I still see a cow in the mirror. When I try to eat normally I gain weight. If I try to go without counting calories, even for a couple of days, I eat too much. I feel like I'll spend the rest of my life like this.
[Thinspo] Some late night thinspo 💤
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 01:07:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jd3jg/some_late_night_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/up3tyzuyqq5z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'm awful
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 25 00:35:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jd00i/im_awful/
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I haven't slept much because I've been preoccupied with events of the weekend and I crashed today after getting home. I feel awful mentally. Like that I'm a terrible hated human being, I lack talent and I'm not worth being around. I wound up b/p twice on stupid fucking granola bars. Not even big binges... and it feels stupid.
Then I saw pictures of myself from today's activities and I looked like a fucking whale. I guess it's good I'm not talented enough to be on stage so I can hide in the shadows until I'm thin enough to be seen.
[Discussion] Longest "streak" of restriction?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 25 00:14:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jcxjk/longest_streak_of_restriction/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I may be in the hospital due to complications resulting from my ED
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Sun Jun 25 00:12:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jcxct/i_may_be_in_the_hospital_due_to_complications/
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Flair as rant rave or something
Hello all,
It's been a few days since I've made any posts. Partly out of shame. I've eaten a lot lately and bought a lot of binge food I might try to eat in moderation.
Something happened. It started at work. I was faint and I fell. Then I kept falling. I've missed a day and a have of work now.
As I type this I am in a hospital bed. I can't stand or walk without potentially falling again..
I am anemic. I am bleeding somewhere potentially internally and it's robbed me of my dignity and independence.
Send good vibes.
On a more fucked up note I haven't eaten in over a day cause I was bed ridden until I came to the hospital and no one has offered me food in the 8 or 9 hours I have been here. And it's 11pm now and I couldn't really order anything if I wanted to.
So that's where I am. Maybe fasting made me anemic but it just doesn't make sense I'm not even skinny. I'm miserable I wish u could eat. I feel hungry but also undeserving.
I spent a lot on binge food yesterday before things took a turn for the worst and so i feel like I have to try and eat the things I bought.
Send good vibes or words of encouragement or love.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] total shit show of a day
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 109.1 | 18.2 | gw 108 | ugw 98]
Created: Sat Jun 24 23:10:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jcpdu/total_shit_show_of_a_day/
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today started out fine. got up, had some coffee and an apple, did my own thing. then my roommate gets up, asks me to go to the pancake house with her (her treat) and then to ikea. i say sure. things start falling apart pretty quickly: as im eating my salmon scramble, shes pushing me to eat more of it (im supposed to be "in recovery" so this is pretty common). i feel like im being treated like a two year old you have to cajole into eating, i freak out and burst into tears and make a scene at the pancke house. nice, great.
to calm down we walk around at the mall for a while, go to tj maxx, etc etc. im feeling better. we decide to hit ikea. ikea it turns out is REAL busy on saturday afternoon. i have debilitatimg anxiety and mostly in remission agoraphobia. i lose my shit. this is melt down number two. my roommate asks if i want one of those ciders they sell at ikea. i tell her to get it the fuck away from me. everything is going great.
fastforward several hours i am once again feeling a littl3 better. i decide to have some of the fresh fruit i bought at aldi yesterday. 3/4 of my banana is black and slimy and inedible. ok i think thats fine ill have some of the raspberries!! guess fucking what. the raspberries i bought YESTERDAY are fucking moldy. i am convinced that im being punished by the universe for wasting what little money i have on luxuries like fresh fruit. i am barely holding it together at this point.
to round it all out, i ssy something i thought was pretty innocuous and normal and my roommate snaps at me for "getting really eating disorder about this." and i lose it again. thats meltdown number three.
now im lying in bed binging on plain sandwich bread and just feeling so defeated. everything is such a battle. even when i think im being normal im doing something weird without even realizing. i dont know how i can ever have any hope for a life free of this. i feel so stuck. food rules my life and i cant even imagine a different life for my self.
[Other] I pushed myself too far and just finished purging in the bathroom.
/u/lavendersmoke [5'5" | CW 130 | GW 105 | SW 119.5 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 22:35:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jckja/i_pushed_myself_too_far_and_just_finished_purging/
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I was restricting consistently for several days and then last night I had pizza with my boyfriend.
This morning I woke up with a flat stomach however so I wasn't too upset, however this lead to me to feel it was okay to go ahead and eat over half a package of dried mango today in addition to a slice of leftover pizza from last night.
I feel super guilty and gross for doing it. I was also so upset that I decided to purge for the first time in weeks and did it in the bathroom about 10' from where my boyfriend's mom/sister are watching tv. I really hope they didn't hear me, I think his mum already suspects that I have an ED.
Now I feel a little better but I didn't throw up as much as I'd have liked to. I can still feel some of it in my stomach and I want it all out but I don't want to risk them catching onto what I did. I feel like I failed myself, I was doing so well.
[Rant/Rave] Got a compliment from a tiny friend
/u/just_a_cat__ [5'8" | CW: 138 | HW: 160 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 22:32:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jck3u/got_a_compliment_from_a_tiny_friend/
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So sorry to post again, but I just hung out with a friend I haven't seen in almost 2 years and I literally have no friends to share this with... This girl has been TINY since I've know her and she complimented how skinny I look, and when I told her I wanted to lose 10 more pounds, she said I would disappear... not true, but still a compliment!!!!
I know my stats suck, but I was literally 10 lbs heavier when I last saw this gal, and it made me feel so good... hope y'all are having a lovely weekend~
[Rant/Rave] I feel fucking crazy
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:63kg | 19ish | GW:58kg | M]
Created: Sat Jun 24 22:06:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jcg9f/i_feel_fucking_crazy/
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Mother walked in to my room with the biggest bowl of noodles and fried chicken that's drenched in olive oil.
She's fat. She's been fat for 10 fucking years. I've seen pictures of her from before that when she would have been a real inspiration. She knows, but she doesn't care. Apparently it's normal in our culture to be fucking fat. Every portion I've ever been given is bloated, I can't have pizza without being given four whole slices with 6 chicken wings and cheese fries on the side. I never refused. It was normal.
So she walks in. Starts talking with food in her mouth. Pieces are falling everywhere. I feel sick to the bone. Haven't eaten anything and I want to puke because I feel full for her.
Squish squish, crunch crunch. Every bite going so slowly. It makes me nervous, it's disgusting of me for feeling disgusted of my own mother.
[Discussion] Working out
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Sat Jun 24 21:34:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jcbp7/working_out/
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For those of us who work out,
1) what do you wear?
2) any habits?
3) how do you work out?
For me personally, I work out in my underwear because the body shame encourages me to keep going. I lean my elbows on my hips and love handles to encourage me to keep going and get rid of the disgusting fat. I work out on my exercise bike in my porch and listen to music.
[Discussion] Misinterpreting comments (feel free to skip to the tl;dr)
/u/cananabananabal [5'8" | 193 | 29.3 | 35lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 21:23:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jca7k/misinterpreting_comments_feel_free_to_skip_to_the/
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So I weighed in at 198.6 today - I know that's the worst nightmare for a lot of you, but I was 233 at the beginning of May, so I'm under 200 for the first time since like December. I've been severely depressed which made heavy restriction really easy, hence a 35 pound loss in less than two months.
So I was happy! Then my best friend and I were talking about how old FB pictures make us feel bad about ourselves (he knows about my bad ED past behaviors - b/p heavy every day, suicidal, tons of stuff). I said my past pictures (130 pounds, 5'8") made me sad, and he thought I meant because of the bad place I was in, but I said "no, because I've gotten so fat". He then responded "well you just gotta put the work in" and then immediately looked at me panicked, because I was tearing up, and goes "but you know that."
I changed the subject immediately but was mostly super sad that 35 pounds in such a short time wasn't noticeable. I know when you're huge, you can't see the differences as easily, but I honestly thought he would've noticed. He's my only roommate and my best friend of 4 years. But he's gotten a new group of friends and a new girlfriend as of last month and spends all his time with them (makes it easy to not eat, but makes me super lonely all day since he's my only friend). I just really thought he could tell but I guess he doesn't care and I'm still too fat to be on anyone's radar.
Rant over! Thought if anyone would understand misunderstood comments, you would haha. Not really a lot of people I can talk to otherwise about this sort of stuff!
Tl;dr: Has anyone ever said something that they meant completely innocently but you took the wrong way? Or a well-meaning comment where they literally meant no harm but you were too sensitive? Feeling pretty stupid but I know I can't be the only one.
[Other] Best net in awhile
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 21:13:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jc8ol/best_net_in_awhile/
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https://i.redd.it/zjunnma9lp5z.png
[Intro] lil intro despite having posted here before
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 20:45:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jc4fv/lil_intro_despite_having_posted_here_before/
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[deleted]
[Help] I only restricted lightly for a week and I feel like shit, help
/u/axxx26
Created: Sat Jun 24 20:01:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbxit/i_only_restricted_lightly_for_a_week_and_i_feel/
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This past week I've done <1000. Starting Wednesday I've been feeling so bad- I keep forgetting things, when I stand up/move too fast I'm basically blind for 30 seconds, I don't want to do anything but sleep. Even just last year I could do <300 for a month and not feel this bad. I'm not sure what's happening....I feel like maybe it's something more than restriction because I've been feeling like this for months now, restriction's only made it worse but I've gone to the doctor a month ago and they've said everything's fine. Has anyone else ever experienced this, do you think it'll pass if i get used to restricting?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I'm a loser.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 19:49:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbvoi/rant_im_a_loser/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Can we talk about how frustrating it is...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 19:22:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbrh5/can_we_talk_about_how_frustrating_it_is/
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...That my weight has drastically dropped, and not a single doctor or nurse at my physical commented on it? Also, just to slap me in the face, they put me in the room thats usually for *obesity awareness* so it was full of information about BMI and losing weight. Thank you, doctors office. Thank you so much.
[Goal] Sooo I'm kind of proud of this?
/u/milky_toast [🍄 5'1" | 108.0 | 21.31 | -76 | F 🌸]
Created: Sat Jun 24 19:07:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbp6w/sooo_im_kind_of_proud_of_this/
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http://imgur.com/a/ga1m9
[Rant/Rave] When 107 is the new 117 and then becomes the old 130...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 105.0 | 19.20 | -30 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 19:01:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbo4w/when_107_is_the_new_117_and_then_becomes_the_old/
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If you had told me at 117, my old common maintenance weight, that I was going to be easily maintaining at 107, I would be doing backflips with joy. But after a two months at 107 - entirely consistently, to the point where I actually bought new clothes because I felt safe enough, like I wasn't going to just gain it all back - I feel the same as I did when I was at my highest weight.
Maintenance isn't enough. I've decided to go back to counting calories (not just my fake version of not counting calories where I don't literally count them but I know how many calories are everything and I do estimates in my head without writing them down). I've got my loseit back and I already put in todays intake because yes I'm starting it right now. I've typed up a bunch of safe recipes with how many calories everything is. I'm going to the grocery store tomorrow and buying all new things. I'm ready to go back to eating below maintenance - for sure, not estimating - and get below 100.
**also accepted to university and moving in two and a half weeks to europe w t f**
[Rant/Rave] I finally weighed myself omg
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Sat Jun 24 18:57:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbnij/i_finally_weighed_myself_omg/
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(after two weeks)
And I've loST WEIGHT R U FUCKING KIDDING ME
All that stress and stress bingeing from the stress and bingeing the whole house down and I lost weight 😂
If I wasn't so relieved I'd be pissed because the past two weeks have been so shitty with uncertainty and a lack of controlled intake and just ugh. I'm just so relieved and now my BMI is (barely) in the 17's wtffff.
On another note how accurate is the app happy scale's moving average? It confuses me like hey that'd be great if it was real but it seems like false hope. I'll just go by what my scale says.
[Help] Just tried to purge.
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 18:32:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbjgb/just_tried_to_purge/
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[removed]
[Thinspo] Daily Thinspo 💎
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 18:10:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbfm1/daily_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/c5tj5c0koo5z.jpg
[Discussion] Yoga, anyone?
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 122.4 | 20.61 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 17:52:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jbcnl/yoga_anyone/
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I moved to a new city this week and the ballet studios there suck. I switched to hot yoga (partly as a result of [this blog post](http://auntjoycesicecreamstand.blogspot.com/2013/03/weve-gone-too-far-diary-of-tortured-yogi.html)) and am truly obsessed. I took a yin class and actually loved my body during it—probably for the first time in my life. And even though Bikram makes me long for death's sweet embrace during those ninety minutes, I'm euphoric after. Any other yoga obsessives here?
[Rant/Rave] Someone finally noticed my efforts today!!
/u/EmpressAdrianne [🦄5'10"|CW167|GW 💀|SW225|F🦄]
Created: Sat Jun 24 17:01:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jb3ok/someone_finally_noticed_my_efforts_today/
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My friend of 5 years and hair stylist came over to do a cut & color, first thing she said when she walked in the door was "Wow, you're disappearing!", in a very complementary tone! ☺️
Later on while we were hanging out she made positive remarks about my having smaller legs, face, and neck; I couldn't believe it! She's *sooo* gorgeous and very small, and it meant a lot to me that she said all these things.
I know I have weird rants but it made me feel good to have nice things said about me, especially regarding my size.
[Rant/Rave] Ruined everything
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | GW: 120 | UGW: 90 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 16:55:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jb2o4/ruined_everything/
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I'm crying my eyes out. I calculated my calories wrong and thought I went 100 over my goals for today. Was so angry and frustrated that I binged. I went back and did the math and it turns out I actually HADN'T gone over my calorie goals, I'd just counted wrong. I binged for nothing, I'm so fucking stupid. I'm never not going to be this stupid, repulsive fat bitch. I hate being alive, I want to kill myself so badly.
[Rant/Rave] I'm becoming a little too unhealthy with my methods and I'm kind of scared
/u/frikey [5'5.25" | 103 | 17.18 | -24]
Created: Sat Jun 24 16:46:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jb15o/im_becoming_a_little_too_unhealthy_with_my/
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(i guess you could say this is a rant???? also first post sorry it's this)
about a week ago my friend offered me a bump of coke which i was hesitant to try, but since i knew no one else would find out and id been curious for a while, i just went for it. i only had a single line, but after that, the hunger i had been trying to ignore all day suddenly vanished, and it stayed gone for the rest of the day. i've been struggling with being more hungry as i've been trying to restrict more recently, and i hate how drawn to doing it i am now. i've done it two more times since then, the same amount, and it was miraculous how i had absolutely no thought or physical urge to consume anything for the entire day. im really scared about this though. i have an extremely addictive personality and im terrified that i'm gonna end up buying it instead of only taking when it's offered and get inevitably addicted why did i ever allow myself to do this i've been saying no for like a year until i started becoming so obsessed with my body image that i've become willing to do anything no matter how harmful just to get smaller. i feel so awful for stooping so low but i know im not gonna stop
[Rant/Rave] I feel like my ED is going to sabotage my chances of being vegan
/u/COOKIE_PRINCESS [4'10" | 🍪 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 15:57:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jas90/i_feel_like_my_ed_is_going_to_sabotage_my_chances/
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I've wanted to be vegan for ethical reasons for literally 4 years and finally convinced my parents to let me since they were convinced I would be deficient and die if I was... Anyway they've decided to support me on the condition that I remain relatively healthy and it doesn't worsen things with my ED.
It's been about 2 months and it's been going pretty well and I'm in a phase of my ED rn where things are fairly easy to manage, but I'm just constantly paranoid that things are going to hit me hard again and I'm going to sabotage my chance at being vegan. I basically can't be vegan without their support and I can't get it out of my head that it's only a matter of time before I totally screw things up. It's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy and it's not like my parents will ever understand that if I relapse it won't be because I'm vegan it'll be because it was going to happen anyway.
[Discussion] It's been awhile
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 15:42:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6japqg/its_been_awhile/
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I haven't been active in a really long time. Mostly bc I started nursing school and have just been busy but a year ago I moved in with my boyfriend. It's been great, we don't fight everything's good except he's really bad about wasting food. The difference between us is he grew up well off and never eating leftovers. I grew up poor and it was basically a sin to waste food bc we were using our precious money for it. So my whole life I've just always hated wasting food. Anyway, was never a problem when I lived alone bc I just never bought food and restricting was easy. I actually reached my UGW last summer. But now living with him he buys so much stuff that goes bad in a day or 2 and it gives me anxiety just watching it sit there and go bad so I end up eating it. I've gained 10lbs over the year which isn't horrible I guess, it'll be easy enough losing it but I can't figure out how to get over the food and just be able to throw it away and waste it without feeling like I'm committing a crime.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend makes things worse.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 15:10:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jajp8/my_boyfriend_makes_things_worse/
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[deleted]
[Help] ok how do I even process this shit (please help yikes)
/u/nerrdygrrl15 [5'5" | 100.8 | 16.8]
Created: Sat Jun 24 14:40:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6jadyn/ok_how_do_i_even_process_this_shit_please_help/
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hey so i have nowhere else to talk about this and need some advice?
my boyfriend and i were on our way to get coffee this morning and thanks to drivers not obeying traffic laws, i got my foot pinned under a car. it could have been so much worse if my boyfriend hadn't been there because this guy didn't even notice me get pinned, but regardless it was super scary.
i had to go to the er to get xrays done. they don't know if toes are broken or not, it is too soon to tell, so i have to go back again next week i guess. i was able to go home and they gave me some pain meds and crutches. i think i am still in shock. i'm nauseous and keep crying for no reason.
i guess the worst part is that all i can think of is how i can't get 10k steps in every day for now because it hurts too much. and because i can't walk, i feel lazy and like i can't eat anything. i haven't eaten yet today and i *know* i have to, because god damn it i'm actually injured and need food to heal, but i can't get myself to have even 0 calorie noodles. i don't know if this is all a function of me being in shock still or if i'm just a moron. should i keep eating <800? do i give myself permission to eat anything at all? do i eat 1200 which isn't even real maintenance but is pretty close to my BMR?
fuck, what am i doing???????
[Intro] Was kinda scared to make an intro post, but had a bad day and feel I should
/u/baby_green
Created: Sat Jun 24 14:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ja96p/was_kinda_scared_to_make_an_intro_post_but_had_a/
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Hi guys. I haven't really been active on this sub before other than anonymously up voting for the past couple of months but today I had an awful binge and and I feel terrible. This seems like a safe space to get help so I thought I'd introduce myself and that way hopefully be more active and get control of my eating habits maybe.
I basically have issues with restricting and then binging and occasionally purging. I was doing so well up until today- under 500 for around a week which given my recent track record is good, and then today I had a massive family dinner and I ate everything and I just couldn't stop and I'm really freaking out about it now because I feel so full and I just went for a walk but I can't get rid of it so ugh. I just cannot stop eating once I start :(
Anyway, I hope to be more actively involved here and I really didn't know how to start so I guess this is it. I have no idea how these things are meant to work and if this is what an intro post is meant to be but I this is all I have right now, so yeeeah
[Discussion] What are some non physical ways that you self harm?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 14:06:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ja7ql/what_are_some_non_physical_ways_that_you_self_harm/
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[deleted]
[Other] Blackpink's dance routine to their newest song is my ultimate thinspo
/u/loser_town [4'11 | CW: 106.4 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 84 | WL: -10.2 | BMI: 22.58]
Created: Sat Jun 24 13:52:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ja4y5/blackpinks_dance_routine_to_their_newest_song_is/
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https://youtu.be/hKUJmA9O6iA
[Rant/Rave] Rant about my mom.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 13:24:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j9zm9/rant_about_my_mom/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Fellow tall girls of pro ed:
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Sat Jun 24 12:38:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j9qne/fellow_tall_girls_of_pro_ed/
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I always feel discouraged knowing I will literally never weigh 100 or 120 unless I am near death and it's sucky because there's nothing I can do about it. I'm 5'11". If I got to 135 I'd be underweight, which is what I'm aiming for and I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal basically (down almost 10, 20 to go), which is nice.
Feel free to post progress pics, or just discuss. I want to meet more of the tall community here :)
[Rant/Rave] Loving today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 12:36:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j9qfp/loving_today/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] 🌸🌿
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | cw - 2fat4me | ugw - 108 | F22]
Created: Sat Jun 24 12:20:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j9n8e/_/
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http://imgur.com/a/0aYC9
[Rant/Rave] A cashier just called me "heroin chic"??!!
/u/caterpissues
Created: Sat Jun 24 12:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j9lzc/a_cashier_just_called_me_heroin_chic/
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it was said with a slight smile but OhMyGod im obsessing over it?? did he mean it geniuinely in the small, intense, high fashion way or was it a nice way to mask calling me skinny druggy boney??
I haven't slept or eaten much in two days so i'd understand the druggy boney veiw. i want to believe it was said in a nice way to inflate my ego and reach my goal weight but i can't stop thinking of the mean/scary context.
i wanted to buy ripe peaches not a looping self-evaluation.
[Rant/Rave] with my best friend and cousin eating at a pub lol
/u/loosecorks [5'2.5 | ugw 100 | 22f | veggie]
Created: Sat Jun 24 12:11:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j9lj4/with_my_best_friend_and_cousin_eating_at_a_pub_lol/
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I'm so stupid nervous, I haven't eaten anything today and the only options they really had were giant greasy meals... I'm just gonna rip apart this veggie sandwich and hope my friend and cousin don't realize that I'm not eating. I've been doing so well, I don't want to fuck it up with like a 600 (that's probably underestimating) calorie meal. :( Ugh, I've quickly grown to hate unplanned food! This is so annoying.
[Thinspo] Billy Chenowith, my thinspo
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:63kg | 19ish | GW:58kg | M]
Created: Sat Jun 24 12:02:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j9jpe/billy_chenowith_my_thinspo/
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This old show, Six Feet Under.
About a funeral home and the dysfunctional family that lives there.
When one of the side characters, Billy Chenowith first appears, he's the skinnest motherfucker I've ever seen. He's got the same type of hair as I do too.
Later on, he gets a bit fat. A year ago I wouldn't have noticed this. But now, it's apparent because I can see when my own weight fluctuates. I don't even know if I'm still 71 kg.
Either way, I'll continue restricting, if only to avoid becoming what my thinspo has become.
[Rant/Rave] Weekend/exam binging ruining my life
/u/silphysmooth
Created: Sat Jun 24 11:00:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j97s5/weekendexam_binging_ruining_my_life/
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First time posting, on mobile so please tag as rant :)
Binge eating is ruining my life.
For example, I have recently been taking my final exams and before I started, I told myself I wouldn't binge if they went badly... before I even left my first exam, I had already started to plan what I was going to stuff my face in when I got home.
I restrict all week, Monday through Friday, but on Saturday and Sunday, I'm at home nearly all day, surrounded by food, and I can't control myself. I'm eating to distract myself from my exams and to procrastinate studying for them, but I just end up feeling more stressed and bloated. I'm going on holiday soon (less than two weeks) and I feel disgusting, so I restrict, but I feel like it's too close to be able to see any noticeable difference, so why bother restricting? I should just binge because I'm not gonna be skinny enough in time... right? Sorry just kind of venting...
To make things worse, food is included on my holiday and I want to make the most of my time there and enjoy myself, but I know I'll go overboard and binge and feel bloated and look disgusting on the beach. I can't restrict either cause all my friends will realise something's up.
I just wish I could eat healthy food in normal portions without hating myself.
[Rant/Rave] It's been too long...
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 10:52:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j969k/its_been_too_long/
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I was up all night and only managed to sleep 2ish hours. I want to sleep the rest of the day so I can be alert later aaaaand avoid food. I have crap to do today but I want to at least sleep a bit longer. I used to work nights and sleep from 8-5, but shit.
I know I'm going to have photos taken today and I can only focus right now on not looking fat. I fucking hate that. What I'm doing is about so much more than what I look like and I'm mad that I'm focusing on something so superficial.
I'm just going to try for a little longer to get some ZZZ's and if I can't I'm just going to go about my day. I have something available to me to get me out of my head for the rest of the day, so I'd rather do that and be tired than sit in my head for the purposes of trying to rest and failing. I want to reach out for love and support but because all of my friends are focused on something positive and labor intensive, I don't want to bother anyone so I'm staying quiet. Faking a smile is so much easier for me. <3
[Other] A big list of weight loss/ED/diet related nosleep stories!
/u/daeboo [5ft1.5/83.8lbs]
Created: Sat Jun 24 09:54:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8uxv/a_big_list_of_weight_losseddiet_related_nosleep/
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Obviously, a heck of a lot of warnings for self harm and child abuse and the like. There are a lot of parasite stories as those are popular, as well as the series "He Liked to Watch Me Eat" which is Grade A reverse thinspo.
[Here](https://1drv.ms/o/s!Aq5IWeM7EofBt2okHcSSnz2CFkzV) is a link to the OneNote section I've compiled all the links as well as all the stories themselves in.
Here are all the titled links, for your enjoyment :D I can't attest to the quality of all of these, and if anyone has any suggestions to add, please comment so I can read them all!
[Teeny Tiny](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2xcvgt/teenytiny/)
[Heather's Phases](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/698xn0/heathers_phases/)
[Unexplained Weight Loss](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/631wf0/unexplained_weight_loss/)
[Weight loss scam, be wary of online ads](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4r5drj/weight_loss_scam_be_wary_of_online_ads/)
[Best natural weight loss aid](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/5qgqh7/best_natural_weight_loss_aid/)
[Most amazing weight loss treatment ever](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/31i7k0/most_amazing_weight_loss_treatment_ever/)
[My grandmother's weight loss](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3cxfnh/my_grandmothers_weight_loss/)
[Heart of Plastic](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1vpppn/heart_of_plastic/)
[Ask me how I lost 64 pounds on the all slurge diet](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2tnzia/ask_me_how_i_lost_64_pounds_on_the_all_slurge_diet/)
[Feedee](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/5w0nda/feedee/)
[Anything to be skinny](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/5rvw3g/anything_to_be_skinny/)
[He liked to watch me eat](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/591tf4/he_liked_to_watch_me_eat_nsfw_part_1/)
[Mommys in the hospital](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/5sxff4/mommys_in_the_hospital/)
[Doughnuts](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/17zkad/doughnuts/)
[My friend left a journal please help](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/350vvw/my_friend_left_a_journal_please_help_nsfw/)
[ouroboros](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3qpeyk/ouroboros/)
[fattie](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2jw4wz/fattie/)
[I decided to take slimming pills and it worked](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/5w5zlf/i_decided_to_take_slimming_pills_and_it_worked/)
[You really should buy the things celebrities advertise](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4vn3y5/you_really_shouldnt_buy_the_things_celebrities/)
[Do you want to lose weight?](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/32ee4o/do_you_want_to_lose_weight/)
[I tried to force my husband into losing weight](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/5zrocn/i_tried_to_force_my_husband_into_losing_weight/)
[Ward b patient one peeling](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3twqaf/ward_b_patient_one_peeling/)
[Vitamins](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/59qsp9/vitamins/)
[Diary of a fat girl](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/33et72/diary_of_a_fat_girl/?ref=search_posts)
[Diet pill nightmare](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/48yaoe/diet_pill_nightmare/)
[The fatty in the mirror](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4e351k/the_fatty_in_the_mirror/)
[Eating disorder](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/13ty8f/eating_disorder/)
[Far too many steps](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4jlrdp/far_too_many_steps/)
[Fat camp series](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4w5kgr/fat_camp/)
[Anorexia](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2jz7xs/anorexia/)
[Discussion] Sorry if this is unrelated but
/u/AnaWahad [169 cm | CW 69kg | HW 100kg | GW 52kg | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 09:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8sgn/sorry_if_this_is_unrelated_but/
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I never noticed how fitting my username is lmao. *Ana*-wahad. I just chose it because it means "I'm someone" in arabic and pretty much all my accounts until now have been a variation of this in different languages. And this was before i joined this sub. I guess it was just meant to be ~~~
I was wondering, just for community building purposes, how did you all choose your usernames?
[Other] Tumblr?
/u/Such_fruits_as_these [5'3 | 111 | 20.39 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 09:00:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8kwh/tumblr/
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I just got tumblr and would love to follow some of you if any of you have one :)
Please leave your user names in the comments
(On mobile so I can't flair sorry)
Edit: so I've followed yous all on such-fruits-as-these
I also made a side ED---memes if anyone's looking for that relatable content
Anyway thanks for giving me so many great tumblrs to follow!
[Rant/Rave] Frappucinos makes me cry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 08:49:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8is3/frappucinos_makes_me_cry/
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[deleted]
Weight loss buddy on Kik?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 08:46:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8i8i/weight_loss_buddy_on_kik/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] HOOooOOOooWw are other girls still so much thinner than me?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 08:25:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8eoi/hoooooooooww_are_other_girls_still_so_much/
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I restrict religiously until i'm on the brink of fainting at work... my hair is falling out... i'm on the brink of underweight and I sometimes catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on tagged in a picture where i'm genuinely so boney it's gross. Yet there are girls everywhere i go, i see them every single day, who are still SO MUCH SKINNER THAN ME.
HOW ARE THEY DOING IT? WHY DO THEY LOOK SO MUCH HEALTHIER THAN ME? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE THEM?
Its honestly my biggest roadblock to recovery. Other girls GET to be thinner and it's killing me. This has been a rant 😭
Accountability buddy, anybuddy?
/u/kaffeekraze
Created: Sat Jun 24 08:23:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8ear/accountability_buddy_anybuddy/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Yesterday I ate a huge bowl of cherries and then hated myself.
/u/Profeshed
Created: Sat Jun 24 08:04:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8b3x/yesterday_i_ate_a_huge_bowl_of_cherries_and_then/
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I just want to start off by saying thank you to everyone here. I discovered this sub last week and it has been amazing for me. I've been dealing with an eating disorder my whole life--binge eater since I was 3 according to stories from my parents ("One time she ate 12 tacos from Taco Bell in one sitting!"), and I on/off purged for 11 years from ages 13-24. Quit last year but I still struggle with binging, and I go through phases of restricting to fix my binge weeks. I've cycled up and down the same stupid 10 lb for the last two years, and I'm still about 15 away from my ultimate goal weight. I've always been within the healthy weight range, but my eating habits have never been healthy.
I might be a little different from most of this community (and despite obviously having an ed this makes me feel like a fraud for wanting to post) because I'm really into weightlifting and developing a decent amount of muscle mass so I can't restrict like crazy--I have be careful to make sure I don't lose muscle or ruin my metabolism, so I could never do 500 calorie/day weeks. But I still want to be thinner--or what everyone in the fitness community calls "leaner", so it's like the healthy version of skinny, right? (Joking..) This means that I don't want to look bony and skinny--I want to look muscle-y and skinny. My goal is a body fat % instead of lbs. I still obsess about food all the time, and I have for as long as I can remember. Want to know something hilarious? I turned my eating disorder into my career. I'm a personal chef who specializes in creating delicious food to suit my clients' diets.
I'm around food all fucking day. I love it and I hate it. It makes restricting so damn impossible because I have to taste as I cook and the second I get anxious (which is basically all the time) I cave in and eat big spoonfuls of what I'm making. So my eating habits are fucked up because I can't ever just have a normal breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I've been snacking all day and I'm usually too full to eat normal dinner, but I need to eat a proper meal at the end of the day--I can only morning restrict, so if I'm too full by the end of the day I'll just end up binging and trying to fix it the next day. This happens almost every day.
The only successful fast I did in the last five years was for 3 days when I had a break from work. I could have gone longer but I had to work and I caved in on the spoonful of chili verde I was supposed to spit out and I messed up breaking my fast properly. My stomach felt so bothered for the next few days.
I just wish I could be like normal people and lose weight the normal way, by having a slightly smaller but regular breakfast lunch and dinner and two snacks. I don't even know how normal people eat. I don't know what's it's like to wait until you're hungry and have a nice dinner until you're just full enough and then go to bed without stuffing your face.
After reading through this sub I decided that I wanted to recover--which I guess isn't even recovery because I still want to lose fat. But I'm tired of failing from all of my binge and restrict phases that never work. I'm tired of obsessing over every single meal I eat.
Yesterday I fucked up my dinner plans with my boyfriend because I thought we were going to Panera for dinner but he changed his mind and wanted to make something from Safeway instead. I started getting panicky because I had planned to eat a light soup, which in my mind seemed like a satisfying option that would keep me full for the night. He started looking at the kebabs on display and I started stressing the fuck out because I was worried that kebabs wouldn't keep me full and then I'd have to go buy something in the store that was like a light soup that would fill me up later and I wouldn't look like a fatass for having two dinners. And he got upset because he was really hungry and I was being super indecisive and anxious and it seemed so stupid to me and long story short my ed ruined my evening because I couldn't stop obsessing over fucking chicken kebabs.
So I'm here because I want to recover and learn how to not obsess over planning my every meal and being stressed out by food. I'm posting because after years of hiding I want to be able to share all the shit that goes through my mind. I've been making up posts in my head all week but I didn't post because I felt like a fraud for not being able to restrict 500/day (last time I could do that I was 13 and taking too much adderall because I convinced my doctor I had ADD, but in reality I just loved how it killed my appetite. That's a long fucked up story for another day). And I quit purging last year because I finally realized how fat the chipmunk cheeks made me look and I'd always binge even harder after I purged anyway.
But I still want to lose weight...I just want to do it in a normal healthy way. And yesterday I was almost really good about it.
I had a normal breakfast, normal lunch, and then I got stressed out over some accounting for work and finished the bowl that probably had about 1 1/2 lb of cherries.
I felt super shitty because I caved into another stress binge, and my boyfriend and my sister made some joke about the cherries being suddenly gone.
You guys understand why I felt like crying, and why their attempt to console me with "it's just cherries!" Is true but is also bullshit.
Yeah thank god it was just cherries. But fuck you ed because I wasn't even hungry and I had to take those cherries out of my dinner calories.
Overall though I still think I ate under TDEE, so despite being another bad day, I guess yesterday was also still a good day.
[Help] New here, and desparate! Anyone have success turning a binge ED into a restrictive ED?
/u/annabear [5'7"|260lbs|BMI40|-0|F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 08:01:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j8ajt/new_here_and_desparate_anyone_have_success/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I hit my highest non-fasting deficit, I think!
/u/heartbrokenandok [5'7"-ish | 189 | 29-ish | -32.8| F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 07:39:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j873b/i_hit_my_highest_nonfasting_deficit_i_think/
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I've been over eating every other day or so this week (still running a deficit, but only about half the deficit I had planned).
Yesterday I donated blood, so I knew I was guaranteed at least 650 cals in increased tdee (because I like to count the 8 week loss all up front). I then managed to run around enough all day and getting ready for the weekend that I ended up with a tdee of about 3100 (without the blood calories). And to make it even better, I stuck to my plan, didn't eat pizza at the bf's house, and ate less than 500 calories for the day.
That gives me a deficit for yesterday of nearly 3200 calories! That's almost a whole pound of fat, and I still got to eat my normla dinner. I'm so proud of myself for being strong and managing to pull that off!
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] Never Happy
/u/TattooedLadette
Created: Sat Jun 24 06:54:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j80h8/rant_never_happy/
---
So, I'm not diagnosed with an ED. But I do have a major problem with food.
My whole life I have been worried about being too fat. I have tried to do everything I can to be ok with it. Be that trying to accept my body shape, exercising obsessively, taking various banned substances to prevent me eating, or delving into a pit of depression and trying to comfort eat my way out.
My mind is on my weight CONSTANTLY. It's on food CONSTANTLY. What can I eat, what can't I eat. What should I eat, what's good, what's bad. The lot.
I've been Veggie, Keto, Paleo, Slimming World, 1200.
My weight has ballooned from 11st 5lbs to 18st 8lbs. And I've hovered all over the place over the last 17 years. I'm 30 now and I'm 16st 6lbs. I'm 5'9". I've gone from having a toned, gym bunny, body, to being a horrible sack of fat.
I go from starting my morning without food, fasting, or eating fruit or cereal or some small snack with black coffee. Never more than 400 calories. Then I wait it out until I start getting really hungry 3-5 hours later.
So I try and have a healthy, early dinner. Something balanced. Some carbs, loads of veg and either chicken or fish. I drink loads of sugar free cordial all day so I'm full of liquids.
It's like no matter what I do I'm always thinking of the next thing to go in my mouth. I HATE myself for it.
The two times in my life that I gained weight my depression and the medication and lifestyle change that came with it were the things that made me fat. I was on Quetiapine, Mirtazapine, Olanzapine. Various other things. I stopped taking these when I realised they were making me balloon.
I'm still on Diazepam PRN and Sertraline daily, Pregabalin PRN, Cocodamol PRN, Erythromycin daily, omaprezole daily.
I am still depressed. I'm in MBT therapy for my Borderline personality. I have lost 35lbs in the last 18 months just from stopping my medication and the effect that has had on my energy levels.
I realise I've now just gone on a complete unnecessary rant.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I just hate myself when it comes to food and my impulse control. I'm so fat now and I really want to control myself. It was so good yesterday. Eating bran and crystal noodles. Staying so low cal. Then the next thing I know. I've ordered and eaten a curry, rice and chips. I loved it. It tasted amazing. I felt so good after I ate it. But I know that I shouldn't have. I hate that I did it. I'm so weak. No will power.
Aaargh. I'm going to stop typing now. Sorry.
[Rant/Rave] Reasons why I want to be skinny.
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'3" | CW: 47kg | GW: 45 kg | UGW: happy]
Created: Sat Jun 24 06:45:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j7z3r/reasons_why_i_want_to_be_skinny/
---
Rant. Sorry. This is more for me than anything. Just need to get this down.
1. When I binge, something bad happens.
2. My dad would start listening to me. He stopped strangling me when I broke 50, he'll start listening when I'm at 40.
3. I can feel like I've accomplished something.
4. My mum would be proud of me and maybe she would start loving me again. That would be nice.
5. My friends would be happier to sit near me.
6. People would be less disgusted by me.
7. I would stop being so fucking addicted to food.
8. I would do something right for a change.
9. I wouldn't overheat in the summer when I'm stuck wearing long sleeves because scars.
10. Maybe some guy would like my pathetic soul enough to date me.
And yet here I am, bingeing like there's no tomorrow.
[Goal] I'm down to 99lbs!
/u/lunamoon1 [5'5.25 | cw 94.6 / | hw: 167 |19f]
Created: Sat Jun 24 06:16:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j7uwj/im_down_to_99lbs/
---
Not at my ugw yet but I can't believe it! Starting at 167 in Jan, I never thought I'd **ever** be this weight, let alone in the double digits. For those who have started at an overweight bmi, it IS possible to get to here and I have faith in everyone <3
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! June 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 24 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j7u3d/stupid_questions_saturday_june_24_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for June 24, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 24, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 24 06:10:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j7tzl/daily_food_diary_june_24_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 24, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] I feel like normal people never eat
/u/SherwoodGreen [180+ cm |60 or so kg!!!!| Male | 16 years old]
Created: Sat Jun 24 04:21:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j7gxv/i_feel_like_normal_people_never_eat/
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Whenever I do see someone eating anything they seem guilty. Even if it's something healthy.
I just feel like everybody I know eats like 400 calories a day.
I basically live alone, so that might contribute to it...
[Rant/Rave] I hit my highest ever weight today
/u/kzxwy [5' 6" | CW: 135.8 | SW: 145.0 | GW: 115.0 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 04:21:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j7gwg/i_hit_my_highest_ever_weight_today/
---
This morning I stepped on the scale for the first time in a long time. I weighed in at 145 pounds. 5' 6". Words cannot describe how horrible I feel about myself. These last couple of years I've let myself go. I bought into the bullshit of "loving yourself the way you are", "eating when you're hungry" and "the number on the scale doesn't matter". The number does fucking matter. Avoiding it is avoiding the truth. I have stretch marks now. A soft stomach. Saggy boobs. Thighs that rub together. Calorie counting works. It's the only thing that works. I miss the days of restricting. Feeling in control. Feeling accomplished when I hit a goal. The satisfying rumble in my stomach. Seeing my hipbones in the mirror. I'm back in this, guys. Fuck the naysayers and the food enablers. I've created this account to participate in this sub, and keep me accountable. There's no going back now. Wish me luck
[Rant/Rave] On Day 18 of my 30 day water fast and need some motivation.
/u/fingfin [5'2" | cw:144 lbs | hw:180 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 04:13:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j7fzh/on_day_18_of_my_30_day_water_fast_and_need_some/
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I've lost a total of 23 lbs in 15 days of water fast but I have been plateauing for a 3 dyas. I'm just feeling super bored and tempted to eat.
[Help] Restaurants in London
/u/toadally-grody [174.5cm / 47.3 / 15.2 / maintaining / F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 02:17:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j739a/restaurants_in_london/
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This is a long shot but do you have any ideas for eating out in London thats NOT a chain but I can get safe foods at? Central is good.
My dad is coming to visit and I can't get the leggera from Pizza express AGAIN!
[Other] Binging is self harm
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 24 02:15:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j72z7/binging_is_self_harm/
---
[deleted]
[Other] Random realizations and ramblings
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 24 01:44:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j6zix/random_realizations_and_ramblings/
---
I realized that at the size I am now, I'm the smallest my friends have ever seen me at. So far, no one has said anything, which is sweet, and it's just weird to think I used to be this size and it was commented on, on the regs.
I signed up to help at an event and I would have left due to severe social anxiety on top of an awkward encounter that I wanted to avoid (the last tie to my shitty former friend). But I'm here and I'm happy I stayed. I think I need some reinforcement that I'm not the terrible human being I'm convinced that I am, and I think I need to tear down the wall with immersing myself with people. It's uncomfortable and hard, but it's happening.
Also: super good for restriction when you sleep all day and are in and out of shows all night :)
[Rant/Rave] Being triggered by something I indirectly led the person to say
/u/Aeon_Mortuum [20 | Gender: Ice-cream truck]
Created: Sat Jun 24 00:38:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j6rth/being_triggered_by_something_i_indirectly_led_the/
---
This is stupid like everything else I say but ok. I was with someone and they brought up now and then that I was thin. So I decided to be a clever little shit and say, "I'm not *that* thin" because in my mind they would have probably gone, "Oh, but you *are*". Instead, they said something to the effect of, "Yeah, you're not very thin but [...]".
*Somewhere in the distance, there was a faint echo of an object, fragile in nature, shattering - as the last shred of my self-esteem fell out of orbit and hit the cold, unforgiving ground below*
[Other] Kafka's short story "A Hunger Artist" -- a story about a man who starves himself professionally
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 23:59:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j6mqd/kafkas_short_story_a_hunger_artist_a_story_about/
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http://www.kafka-online.info/a-hunger-artist.html
[Help] Pain on right side: just gas or something serious?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 23:22:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j6hp3/pain_on_right_side_just_gas_or_something_serious/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] Gaining weight from morning to evening
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 22:39:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j6bmj/gaining_weight_from_morning_to_evening/
---
[deleted]
[Other] waist after 20lb weight gain
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 22:24:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j69du/waist_after_20lb_weight_gain/
---
http://imgur.com/a/aXSxb
[Discussion] Acid reflux?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 22:19:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j68nz/acid_reflux/
---
[deleted]
[Tip] So journaling is great
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | CW 111 | LW 105 | HW 180 | 30 F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 22:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j671x/so_journaling_is_great/
---
I was told to journal when I was in IP, and I didn't because I thought that was stupid and pointless.
I'm seeing an outpatient psychologist briefly while waiting for my spot in partial hospital (ugh, a projected 8 weeks), and he suggested the same. So I decided to humor him and download an app called Day One to journal.
It's far more cathartic than I'd thought it would be. I'm a great writer when I want to be, so it's a nice outlet and kind of feels like free therapy. I should have started this years ago.
If you don't journal yet, give it a try. I guess this is why I'm supposed to take health professionals' advice; they know better than I.
Here's part of the interface if you're interested in an app ($5 I think):
http://i.imgur.com/qr85T3d.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Defeated the almighty nighttime binge monster!!
/u/Shawnanan
Created: Fri Jun 23 22:01:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j65y6/defeated_the_almighty_nighttime_binge_monster/
---
I resisted the urge to binge!!!
How?
One serving of tuna with hot sauce
One babybel Gouda cheese
And a cup of decaf
I'm so proud of myself.
I had peanut butter in hand ready to face fuck the entire jar.
But I put it back and said no.
Tonight I won the battle! 🙌🏻
[Discussion] another Peach username thread...?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 101.0 | 17.9 | F 🍍]
Created: Fri Jun 23 21:54:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j64te/another_peach_username_thread/
---
so I redownloaded peach after rejoining this sub again, and while I did add a bunch of user names I found on the old peach thread, seems like over half of them aren't used anymore.
the last thread was about 150 days ago,so hopefully it isn't too soon to make another one? is anyone else active on it? let's share our usernames! (mine is the same as my reddit username ofc)
and for those who don't use peach but are curious: it's a private cute little social media app for sharing statuses, gifs, pics, commenting/messaging, etc. really it's just fun to use and I always want to post too much on it and read everyone's statuses, but there aren't too many updates rn. try it out! I love keeping up to date with everyone 🤗
[Discussion] Anyone else cycle over 50 or more pounds as you relapse/recover? What are the biggest struggles for you?
/u/montagemontage [5'4" | CW: 🐮 | GW: 95 | -15 | f]
Created: Fri Jun 23 21:53:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j64r1/anyone_else_cycle_over_50_or_more_pounds_as_you/
---
The most annoying thing to me is the fucking clothes! I never have cute clothes because I have ranged from a size 2 to a size 16 and everywhere between so everything I own is ill-fitting. It's my dream to one day be able to maintain and buy a closet worth wearing 😞.
[Other] Willam Belli
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 192lb | M]
Created: Fri Jun 23 21:28:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j60ur/willam_belli/
---
It's perfect lightly triggering content--the kind of 1995-2010 gay culture that doesn't accept anything over a 19 BMI. I need that caustic reminder of what pretty looks like. (And, not that it's as important, but she's funny)
For the three r/proED members who might find this useful.
[Rant/Rave] Working retail
/u/unpollutedfantasy
Created: Fri Jun 23 21:21:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j5zpv/working_retail/
---
I just started working a retail job, I eat so much less because of it, instead of being at home most of the week thinking about the food in the kitchen. And it burns more calories that just hanging around all day. Tbh I kinda hate the job, but it is what it is.
[Rant/Rave] I was doing great today until I had some fries and half a milkshake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 21:00:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j5wbl/i_was_doing_great_today_until_i_had_some_fries/
---
I've been on high restriction lately, I had 950 and was about to sleep until my sister got home from her swim meet and my fatass had to have fries and milkshake
fuck this
[Rant/Rave] I peed out 4 pounds of water today
/u/tinycashew [5'6.75" | 118.0 | 18.59 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 20:59:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j5w4x/i_peed_out_4_pounds_of_water_today/
---
I retained a TON of water in the past three days due to eating like 2000 calories of 100% restaurant food (salt! BUTTER!) each day while my parents visited me. Don't think it was even a surplus because I ran/walked 40 miles over the three days.
Then today for some reason my body decided to expel it ALL. I spent All. Day. Peeing. Every hour! SO MUCH PEEING. I was also super thirsty and drinking a bunch more water which just added to the whole thing. Luckily I didn't have to take any drives and was able to just sit and marvel at my body being fucking weird all day.
Weight before the whole episode: fluctuating 119-120
Super bloated weight: 124.5
Weight after 14 hours of peestravaganza: 120.2
My waist also went up and then back down 1.5 inches.
I'm so tired out yet relieved from the peeing. I think it's slowing down now. I feel soooo much better.
Anyone else ever actually notice the water weight coming out of you when you have a woosh? I never have before. Sending wishes of happy urinations to all of you!
UPDATE: Middle of the night peed and i'm 118 now
[Discussion] Do you guys go out to eat regularly?
/u/AntioxidantOpium [5'9" | 100.2lbs | 15 BMI | -70lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 20:07:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j5nlj/do_you_guys_go_out_to_eat_regularly/
---
I don't go out and I haven't been to a restaurant/fast food in eight months because of the high calorie count (and no friends but ignore that part shhh) of most of the dishes, and I don't feel like spending $8 on a salad when I could make my own at home.
Now that being said, I do go out to coffee shops pretty often, but I feel like that's different.
So question for you all; do you guys go "out to eat" regularly? Favorite restaurants? Dishes? Is it a social thing? Would you rather not?
Have a happy Friday, ya'll<3
[Discussion] Eating below BMR?
/u/stickbuggy [6'1.5" | 193lb | 23.9 | -57lb | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 20:05:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j5n5p/eating_below_bmr/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I've tried to purge four times, and I don't know how to feel. [TW]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 19:00:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j5c7e/ive_tried_to_purge_four_times_and_i_dont_know_how/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just ate 5 p eanut butter sandwiches
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 93 | 15.66 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 18:54:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j5b6a/i_just_ate_5_p_eanut_butter_sandwiches/
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[removed]
[Tip] [Tip] Bigelow Cinnamon stick tea + sugar + milk = taste of cinnamon toast crunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 18:28:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j56bj/tip_bigelow_cinnamon_stick_tea_sugar_milk_taste/
---
[deleted]
[Discussion] MEGA BINGE PLANS
/u/yaboyspissed [5'7" | M19 | b/p mess]
Created: Fri Jun 23 18:19:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j54oh/mega_binge_plans/
---
im just so excited because ive set a date for myself (july 2nd) to be a mega binge day!! anyone else do this kinda thing? like if im able to successfully restrict up until this day i wanna just b/p on thousands and thousands of calories to kinda get rid of the urge. Its also helping me restrict better rn too cuz every time i think about binging i just remind myself "wait for july 2nd" and its pretty soon too! just a week and 2 days left :DDD! i've already planned out a few of the items im gonna binge on, cake, cookies, ice cream, cereal. oh boy am i fucked up!!! :D
[Rant/Rave] Meditation yassss!
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Fri Jun 23 18:16:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j547b/meditation_yassss/
---
It's not a solution or even close, but I started a 6 week course and guided meditation is helping me so much.
For so long I thought getting over my negative thoughts was about ignoring them. No!
It's about accepting, and moving past without feeding into them.
I think this approach has helped me so much because I used to really abuse myself for having these feelings in the first place.
When the reality is I can accept how I feel and choose to accept myself instead of flaming the fire. It's ok but I can be at some form of peace with that feeling.
I highly recommend looking for a Buddhist centre near you. The course I'm doing is free and they have contribution based yoga class too.
My local Buddhist centre has weekly open meditations so I plan to attend them once this course finishes. But so far it's been very affirming.
Hope some others here can find the same.
(P.s before I found these classes I meditated in the shower, love dat white noise!)
[Rant/Rave] When you don't have a scale...
/u/HufflePuffPrid3 [4'11 | 84 | 17 | -19 | F ]
Created: Fri Jun 23 18:11:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j532j/when_you_dont_have_a_scale/
---
My scale broke over a month ago. I haven't weighed myself since then.
I have no idea how much I weigh. I hate it.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting..... or not?
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Fri Jun 23 18:06:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j525q/fasting_or_not/
---
So I have just started my first ever purposeful attempt at fasting. I haven't eaten in around 8 hours, not very long, I know, but I was hoping to make it until the morning at least. Well I just found out that my mom (who ha been on a day trip for work) is bringing home my ALL TIME HOLY GRAIL FOOD. I only get to eat this stuff maybe four times a year. But I'm trying to fast. She will be so weirded out if I don't eat but if I start with that I will not stop. I just weighed myself (which I was trying not to do, but we just bought a scale) and I am like .4 pounds from 100lbs. I have never weighed that much in my entire life and I don't think I would be able to handle it if I did. Like I'm terrified of weighing 100lbs. Why does my mom have to do this? Sorry I don't really know what this was I just needed to get it out.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I was underweight so badly
/u/Elope
Created: Fri Jun 23 18:02:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j51db/i_wish_i_was_underweight_so_badly/
---
Not even for the aesthetic reasons, but obviously I want them too. I just feel so fucking ashamed to be at a normal weight. I can't even have a fucking eating disorder properly. No one actually gives a shit because I look fine. I am honestly so fucking embarrassed every time I eat around people. I feel like they're thinking "isn't he supposed to have an ED? Why isn't he thinner? He's always going on about counting calories".
I hate myself so much. I have no self control. I'm a fucking fat mess that no one gives a shit about because I don't faint, or have a gaunt face, or fucking anything. I feel like a weak fucking fraud. And everyone knows it.
Fuck you bingeing. Fuck everything about you. You are the fucking worst thing that ever happened to me.
[Discussion] Has anyone here ever been cheated on? Did / does it affect your ED?
/u/crumpet9 [5'3 | cw: way too much | gw1: 101 | 20f]
Created: Fri Jun 23 17:58:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j50qs/has_anyone_here_ever_been_cheated_on_did_does_it/
---
I'm currently writing a letter to my ex. Technically we weren't together when he "cheated", but he slept with a girl and lied to me about it when I was trying to get him back. I visited him (6 hour flight) and he did it both before and after I left- all while knowing he was going to see me a WEEK after I left his. I honestly think that situation has made my ED worse. It just plays into my ideas of never being enough. The girl isn't even skinnier than me but it makes me want not eat at all. It's funny because I broke up with him bc of my ED so he wants me to get better if we got back together and I use this situation to fuel it.
Anyways, does anybody here have a similar story? How do you cope with it? (As ashamed as I am to admit it, I love that guy so much I'd still get back together with him if he wanted). Did it/does it affect your ED? Sorry this is kind of depressing but writing this letter has made it so raw and I have no friends to talk with about this.
On mobile please tag as "discussion".
[Help] Sitting here, weighing up whether to purge or not.
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57kg | BMI 19.05 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 17:52:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4zph/sitting_here_weighing_up_whether_to_purge_or_not/
---
I came back from drinking and ate:
Stir fry with courgetti
Pasta with vegan cream cheese
4 biscuits.
I hate myself, I hate how bad this week has been for me, I hate the lack of routine and I hate who I am. I'm ugly, ugly, ugly and I just want to know that 57kg is an okay weight for someone my height, but all I can do is think about how much I want to throw up everything I ate.
Why the fuck did I do this to myself.
[Discussion] Depression Medicine?
/u/possiblycurious [5'5"| 133| -17lbs| F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 17:37:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4wsj/depression_medicine/
---
Hello lovelies!
So, I made a Dr. apt to discuss what I think is depression. It's been 10 years of feeling this way and it's getting a little out of hand. Now seems like a good time to start working through it.
Anywho- I really don't know what to expect if they decide to medicate me. I'm deathly afraid of gaining weight and don't really want to bring up the ED thing.
What's been your experience with depression medication?
Thank so much.
[Discussion] Need low key low calorie restaurant ideas
/u/HallowHorcruxx [5'6| 133 | 21.46 | -69 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 17:18:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4t7i/need_low_key_low_calorie_restaurant_ideas/
---
I know this gets asked daily basically, but I'm hanging out with a work friend for the first time tomorrow and we're going out to eat. She's got a BMI of ~16 but eats at work and stuff so I'm still conflicted on if she has ed probs or not. Either way, I'm trying not to panic and also trying not to reveal my ed ass self.
I fast all day so I feel safe eating 600-800 calories if need be, but I need suggestions of places we can go that you can hang out for a bit and also eat low calorie in a non obvious way.
We have a large Asian community near by so there's a few Korean BBQ, hot pot, Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, etc places. Or lots of Mexican places (but that's why to high calorie so nahhh). I just don't know what type would have the best low calorie options.
(On mobile, please flair as discussion or help)
[Discussion] [discussion]-DAE count their supplements?
/u/Goodmorningfatty [5'4" | CW: 120 | BMI: too big | WL: 25 | Fluid]
Created: Fri Jun 23 16:49:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4nqi/discussiondae_count_their_supplements/
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I recently went into mantinence and completely changed my diet from practially all meat to 100% Vegan.
I've always been huge on supplements and when doing high restriction I never counted the calories because I didn't want to keep myself from taking vitamins due to fear of going over my calories for the day.
When I started maintenance I imeadiatly started logging every single tiny pill to help keep my reported calories "up". It's not a lot of calories, but it's enough to matter.
Does anyone else do stuff like this? I mean, I have always logged my protein powder consumption, and like the Aloe Vera juice.. but not anything that's a small pill, or tiny 1/4 teaspoon of vitamin d oil or anything.
I only do it on days where I need to round out my calories. It's so odd, like a total disconnect.
[Other] I'm drunk and all of the ED thoughts go away
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 16:46:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4myf/im_drunk_and_all_of_the_ed_thoughts_go_away/
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[deleted]
[Tip] Holy shit I found out the holy graal of fast food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 16:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4hpg/holy_shit_i_found_out_the_holy_graal_of_fast_food/
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[deleted]
[Help] dealing with temptation of unhealthy food
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 16:01:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4e1v/dealing_with_temptation_of_unhealthy_food/
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idk if this is more a question or discussion or rant honestly but i have unhealthy food at home (pretzels, nutella that someone gave me months ago) and it's frustrating to know that if i wanted to, i could go eat so many calories worth of junk. but is the solution to only keep like bananas and vegetables and food that i need to cook around? i feel guilty after eating 1/2 cup greek yogurt so idk i guess it's just part of my fun shitty relationship with food ugh
[Other] New Peach Thread ♡♡
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 15:52:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j4c8a/new_peach_thread/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] My real life thinspo [rave]
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Fri Jun 23 15:12:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j43s6/my_real_life_thinspo_rave/
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Is actually a model signed with a modeling agency! How crazy is that???
So there's this girl i had to do a group assignment for uni with and she has the perfect body. Like. 10/10 would donate a kidney to look like her (well but with my own face).
So i thought well let's use my stalking skills for something productive for once and search her on social media for some real-life thinspo (creepy yet?).
Turns out she has about 10k followers on Insta with her model profile and her modeling agency linked in her bio. Skipping to the agency page it's really easy to find her stats and coincidentally she's just as tall as i am!
Gosh that's so cool! I mean on one hand it's kind of depressing because her stats are unachievable perfection but on the other hand it's great because now i got measurements i can use as "aspiration" knowing exactly how good these measurements look in real life. And also it's kind of a relief that she's a model and not a "peasant" like myself who looks like a goddess.
Sorry i just wanted to share that, hopefully you aren't to creeped out! 😂
[Rant/Rave] [RAVE] ANTM is keeping me on track!
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Fri Jun 23 14:58:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j40sb/rave_antm_is_keeping_me_on_track/
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I looooved Americas Next Top Model growing up, and I discovered it's on Hulu!! I've been binging it and honestly between this and My 600-lb life I'm staying on track! I even bought myself a giraffe navel ring for a treat since I've been doing so well!!
Does anyone else have a show that they love to binge (inspirational or not)??
[Rant/Rave] Can't believe I'm posting this but I feel so alone
/u/shortchair [5'6" | 106 lbs | 17.18| -60 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 14:51:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j3za8/cant_believe_im_posting_this_but_i_feel_so_alone/
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I'm losing my mind. My boyfriend and I are long distance and I come stay with him at his dad's during summer and winter break. Well, my boyfriend is heavy smoker and has been for a few years. This summer, a week after I got here, he decides to quit smoking cold turkey without telling anyone. Everyone in the house became painfully aware after about 2 days as he had a complete personality change and starts snapping at everyone (read: me). I am now here as an unwilling caregiver and verbal punching bag for this addict manchild that was once the man I loved. He is having very strong physical, mental and emotional withdrawal symptoms. I am expected to be a pillar of unending support. Everything I say and do is wrong, and one wrong or too slightly sarcastic comment sends him into a toddler tantrum of rage that lasts the whole day. (sarcasm and "play fighting" was a big part of how we interacted in our relationship so now I feel I must completely change who I am as he is suddenly 10x more sensitive) Yesterday I B/P'd which is something I rarely do because of the constant anxiety. My heart has felt like it's going to burst out of my chest for the past two weeks.
I can't help but think this would all be so much easier if his dad wasn't a food pusher. He is actually the worst food pusher. He shows love through feeding people, cooks meals nearly every day, and tells me to eat something literally every time he sees me. He personally makes me ridiculously stacked plates of food, then offers me more and more food even when I have just literally finished a giant meal. He expects to be praised and thanked as I continuously overindulge. It is my own worst nightmare. He would never understand how I feel about this, would think I'm being idiotic and rude and wont take no for an answer. I'm often forced to eat meals with him in awkward uncomfortable silence (as my boyfriend is usually off moping somewhere or sleeping at weird times because of the withdrawal). I tried to tell my boyfriend how I feel about this but I am brushed off for feeling so strongly about something as insignificant as food. I asked him how he would feel if for example he was forced to eat dinner alone with my mother many nights. He said it's not the same and it doesn't compare. Well he's right. It doesn't compare because it's actually worse for me as he does not have an eating disorder. Because my boyfriend is going through his self inflicted hell, I am not allowed to have my own troubles and feelings, as every attempt by me to talk about things I may be upset about is seen as a complaint and I'm just whining and being ungrateful. I feel like I was just brought here to be some sort of smiling, comforting sex puppet that is slowly going to get fat and disgusting from being force fed out of "kindness." My eyes are swollen and bloodshot from purging and crying but no one notices. I am regularly mocked and berated for crying so I have to try and do it alone. Worst part is I'm in idiot and cant afford to buy another return ticket home. So I'm trapped in this hell for another 2 months ish. :)
For the record, I am in charge of dishes, all our laundry, cleaning the bathroom and generally keeping everything tidy, so it is not as if I'm doing nothing, and I AM grateful to be allowed to stay here. But in the past it has been nice spending time with my boyfriend who I don't get to see all that often, and this time it is like he hates me and everything and I'm trapped in a house in another country with no one. I honestly think about suicide daily. It's suddenly a very comforting thought.
Shows/movies/documentaries that accurately represent eating disorders?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 14:35:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j3vmr/showsmoviesdocumentaries_that_accurately/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I've spent the entire day down the anorexia rabbit hole and I can't take it anymore.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" | CW: 🐳 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 79 | 26F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 13:24:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j3fw6/ive_spent_the_entire_day_down_the_anorexia_rabbit/
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Obligatory "on mobile, please flair." Thanks, mods ❤️
I'm going on a trip to the beach to visit a friend on Tuesday, and I've spent more than 24 hours nonstop obsessing about it. Looking up all the restaurants on my route, planning what I'll be able to eat there and how many calories that'll be, planning all my meals for the week, researching grocery stores there and making grocery lists, planning when and where I can weigh and measure myself every day, planning every outfit I'll wear (and trying them all on, and taking body check photos in them)... it's supposed to be a simple, fun trip, and I literally haven't slept in two days because I'm too busy panicking about the possibility of gaining weight.
I'm so done. I just want to be a normal person, capable of enjoying fun things.
[Discussion] I tried getting professional help but American healthcare is terrible and I quit.
/u/ignorado
Created: Fri Jun 23 13:23:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j3fu8/i_tried_getting_professional_help_but_american/
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I finally decided I was going to get help due to my friends nagging me + I was tired of being depressed all the time because of my eating habits. 1 month later of bloodwork, random psychological testing, doctor's appointments for checking in, therapy, and medication... I am $1,000 in debt even with insurance. Fuck this. America sucks. Plus I was gaining so much fucking weight.
Anyone else have shitty experiences with trying to get better?
[Other] Came across this on r/nosleep. Thought it was pretty well-written (kinda depressing) tw maybe?
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 13:12:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j3d84/came_across_this_on_rnosleep_thought_it_was/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/6iwjik/fifty_three_pounds/
[Rant/Rave] An update from the road I guess
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 13:11:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j3cxb/an_update_from_the_road_i_guess/
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I posted last week about the road trip with my boyfriend. Everything was great until today. I got sick of being around him today and told him I needed like an hour to myself (we're in San Francisco for two nights staying at my dad's airbnb until we hit the road again tomorrow)
He got somewhat offended and said he was going on a walk.
He left (my dad and other family had already went out for the day) and I immediately binged on whatever was available. I guess I feel bad. I have poor emotion regulation and I have a hard time being around people for that long...two weeks together might have been a mistake.
I'm feeling a little frustrated and trapped but it doesn't take much to make me feel that way. No idea why I posted this other than to rant a bit. Here's to better days.
[Rant/Rave] One of my best friends said this to me today and now I feel like shit.
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Fri Jun 23 12:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j3895/one_of_my_best_friends_said_this_to_me_today_and/
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http://i.imgur.com/UMqj689.png
[Rant/Rave] Feel so fat today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 12:48:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j37r9/feel_so_fat_today/
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Ate 1071 calories today and only burned 250 calories ugh
[Discussion] DAE use random events/date (ex. New Years) to help them keep on track/try harder
/u/thinandmints [5'4 | 112 | 19.2 | -18 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 12:42:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j368y/dae_use_random_eventsdate_ex_new_years_to_help/
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Sorry that title made no god damn sense but that's me. I was wondering if anyone else uses holidays/special dates/symbolism to help them. Like tonight is a new moon and I'm not really superstitious but lately I've been doing REALLY badly and I kind if want to use this as a "okay now is a turning point and you have I start doing better". Obviously if I'm just full fml hating myself all this goes out the window and I'll probably start binging then fasting like I have been. Still though, it's nice to have something physical to look to. (Side note because my sorry ass won't stop complaining, it's 1000 degrees and my air conditioner isn't working so I'm drowning in my own sweat)
[Rant/Rave] my MIL is the worst
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | 27 F 🍋]
Created: Fri Jun 23 12:15:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j2zz4/my_mil_is_the_worst/
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every time we go out to eat with my in-laws it's always the same fucking thing.
"wow little_lemongrabs, that's such a big portion they gave you! let me take a picture and send it to everyone!" (i wish this was hyperbole; it's not)
"are you actually going to finish that? don't you want to take some home?"
"you must really like to eat~~~"
and then whenever she comes over she brings a shitload of cookies and chips and juice. gee thanks.
after seeing my MIL i end up either b/p or severely restricting afterwards. it's not okay but my husband won't fucking do anything. i love him because he's a kind person but he's also weak as shit and i hate it.
he can't protect me. i don't feel like anyone can protect me anymore.
[Rant/Rave] Almost time to stop 😫
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 12:02:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j2x0g/almost_time_to_stop/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Rachel Cook, my newest thinspo
/u/jayjayjaythrowaway
Created: Fri Jun 23 11:36:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j2qpx/rachel_cook_my_newest_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/mktcz4udlf5z.jpg
[Discussion] Hunger pains... Won't go away
/u/TeaWithLemon9012
Created: Fri Jun 23 11:13:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j2l8u/hunger_pains_wont_go_away/
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Ugh new account because my fiance knows my normal one now.
I've started exercising again which has started making me way more hungry. I keep trying to chug water or take a fiber supplement. I'm worried they are going to make me binge . :(
I'll have to bring out the Adderall if they don't call down.
[Discussion] Does anyone else love hard candy?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Fri Jun 23 10:57:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j2hd4/does_anyone_else_love_hard_candy/
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I keep a stash of werther's and butterscotch candies (i'm literally a grandma.) in my drawer, and it staves of the sweet craving.
Anyone else like those kind of candies?!
[Rant/Rave] Worst combination ever
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 10:53:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j2gcp/worst_combination_ever/
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Even after chugging water after fucking up so bad yesterday, the combo of only driving in a bazillion degree heat sans A/C, fucking up and b/p twice yesterday and trying to run errands in the late morning feeling maybe just a little off... Jesus H. I basically was praying in Walgreens while picking up my prescription that I would stay upright long enough to get home...
I need to get my shit together ASAP, because 1) I got shit to do this weekend for a big event that involves me being up at random hours of the day 2) I'm seeing an old friend from treatment this weekend and don't want to put my "I'm fucking everything up" on display and 3) I have a show opening soon and I can't be off otherwise I'm going to get blacklisted.
I'm so pissed at myself because I know fucking better and it's like I can tell I'm getting old because I don't just bounce back like I used to. Ugh /rant.
[Rant/Rave] |Rant/Rave/AAAAH|
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |113.2 | -106.8 | GW: 110 | UGW:100 | 20A]
Created: Fri Jun 23 10:02:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j243f/rantraveaaaah/
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I just scheduled my first therapy appointment for three days from today. Now I'm going to obsess about it until it's time to go #thanksanxiety
I'm scared and nervous but this is the correct step for me to be taking. She doesn't have like, ED experience but she said she's dealt with food issues as a symptom of other mental illness so maybe it will translate; it's not like I'm diagnosed anyway.
Baby steps.
Baby steps.
Fuck.
[Discussion] Any thoughts on making this sub private?
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 122.4 | 20.61 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 09:53:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j21v2/any_thoughts_on_making_this_sub_private/
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https://i.redd.it/lgkexnev2f5z.png
[Help] Weight fluctuations- what is my true weight?
/u/hdm1989 [5'3 | CW 140 | GW 100 | BMI 24.8 | 8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 09:37:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j1y4m/weight_fluctuations_what_is_my_true_weight/
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I have been seeing pretty drastic variations on the scale over the course of the day. Today I was 2 kilos/ 5 lbs heavier in the afternoon than I was in the morning. I know that my weight naturally varies over the course of the day. What I want to understand is how I can know what my real weight is, and how I can tell whether I have lost weight from day to day.
I gained a lot of weight (15lbs) on medication recently, and I remember telling myself that the higher numbers I was seeing on the scale were just normal day to day fluctuation. It wasn't, it became a serious weight gain that set me back months, and now I am anxious about those numbers.
[Rant/Rave] Well this is how my morning's gone
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Fri Jun 23 09:23:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j1uz8/well_this_is_how_my_mornings_gone/
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https://i.redd.it/8nuqt2ykxe5z.png
[Rant/Rave] finally joined the club
/u/nakaiyuri [5' 4.5 // cw: ㅠㅠ // 🐕 🐕 same🍑username yall]
Created: Fri Jun 23 07:21:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j159y/finally_joined_the_club/
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i, too, have been scammed by misleading nutritional labels this morning ._.
i’m a sucker for aloe drinks and i really wanted to try this ‘white grape’ flavor — because why not — and it said only 18 calories!!! which is still kind of a lot for a drink^butitwasaloe^irlylikealoeok
i logged the bottle into mfp via the barcode and lo & behold … it’s 18 calories.. for *one serving* and there are “approximately” 2.5 servings
🙃🙃🙃
i allotted myself only 20 calories today because i’m trying to fast so thank god i didn’t finish the whole bottle yet… i only had about half.
now i have to refrain from drinking the rest of this and “preserve” it so i can bring it back home to weigh it & accurately figure out how much of this evil concoction i drank
side note:
i had this weird dream that i was misreading nutritional labels??? so maybe my subconscious knew what was up lol it was too good to be true
/end rant
[it makes me feel better knowing a lot of people have done this before, too so welp at least there’s solidarity in this club]
[Other] To my new friend,
/u/yougotmefeelinghigh
Created: Fri Jun 23 06:48:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j0z5y/to_my_new_friend/
---
I know he can't ever truly understand it, but I want him to. I want to be able to talk about it and share this part of my life with him. The ED side of me isn't who I really am, but she is who is in control now. Even if I wanted to tell him how this all started I wouldn't be able to because I don't understand everything. It didn't start out all about the numbers, but that's what it has become, and admitting that makes me feel more shameful than anything else.
[Tip] PSA: If you take fiber + meds, remember to space them out at least 2 hours apart.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 06:46:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j0ys2/psa_if_you_take_fiber_meds_remember_to_space_them/
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I've been taking fiber + Wellbutrin. The fiber can cause your body not to absorb the medication properly thus making it not work properly. I've been super depressed and weepy ever since I started taking fiber and realized that I probably have been taking it too close to my medication.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! June 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 23 06:13:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j0t1v/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread_june/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for June 23, 2017.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! June 23, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 23 06:13:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j0t16/daily_food_diary_june_23_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 23, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I'm on a convention I've looked forward to for so many months, but I'm all alone and I can't enjoy myself at all
/u/Vanilla_Mieux [*:･ﾟ✧ 5'1 | GW: 65lbs | CW: 75lbs | F *:･ﾟ✧ ]
Created: Fri Jun 23 06:00:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j0qj9/im_on_a_convention_ive_looked_forward_to_for_so/
---
I don't even think about food. I'm just painfully aware that I have absolutely no money to spare, and that I've just thrown away $4 for the entrance ticket.
I'm all good for online communication, but I just can't bring myself to go over and say hi to the people I know.
And I really, REALLY want to try sushi and bubble tea here, but I have no money... I really want cute charms and jewelry but I have no money... I won't eat today at all because I have *no. money*.
I hate myself and I hate the way my life is going right now.
It *could* be worse, which is making me feel guilt amd hate myself even more.
[Rant/Rave] The same old sad story
/u/juniper5572
Created: Fri Jun 23 04:17:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j0bd9/the_same_old_sad_story/
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Me: I've done pretty well today, I can finish on ~1100 cals (I'm a fatty, my TDEE is like 1800)
Also me: *oh hey why don't I eat this fruit pie and hey the kids are having fish and chips I'll have some too and oh whats this a marzipan bar don'tmindifIdo*
Me again: Why did I do that ^oh ^yeah ^^I ^^remember ^^^I'm ^^^a ^^^glutenous ^^^pig ^^^who ^^^can't ^^^control ^^^herself
[Intro] Kind of a weird introduction--hello, it's me from an alt. (About me
/u/newnew4dagoodgood [F | 5'7 | SW 155 | CW 136 | UGW 122 | 🍑 same username as here!]
Created: Fri Jun 23 03:36:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6j05xa/kind_of_a_weird_introductionhello_its_me_from_an/
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Buckle up, this is gonna be LONG introduction post that I'm sure most of you guys won't care about, but it'll be here for future references :)
Hi guys! I think some of you might put two and two together and figure out who this is just based on my main account's recent frequent comments, but I would appreciate if the two accounts would not be connected beyond the things I say.
This is an alt account since too many people I know IRL including my boyfriend know my user and have sent me concerned texts (which I appreciate, but I don't need that right now). I also wanted to be a lot more open about my drug use, desires, thoughts, and all of that. I hope that you guys can accept me for my truest self--I know you will, this is one of the most kind hearted communities on reddit.
A little about me, I've been dealing with disordered eating (restricting/binging periods) on and off for 5+ years, but it usually comes back full force when I'm in low points in depression/anxiety. I'm going into my second year of college, and I appear live a relatively normal life outside of my ED.
I am completely infatuated with food and find myself watching videos about, reading about, and thinking about food/EDs/cooking/recipes/restriction/calories constantly.
Most recently I have been having ED thoughts, particularly because of the weight I put on in my first year of college. It's almost like my ED thoughts...vanished? Maybe I was too drunk or drugged out all year to put a stop to the weight gain? In high school I was always very athletic, playing 4 varsity sports in one year, and the summer before joining a sorority I toned up and dropped lots of weight. Before college, I weighed 128 lbs. I ended my freshman year of college 156 lbs. Those numbers hurt to write. My lowest weight, at the height of my ED, I weighed 117 lbs. My goal weight is 119 lbs--just barely healthy weight. I'm 5'7.
I am very open to people in my life about my anxiety and depressive episodes, but not about my ED. I am terrified of people finding out, and would rather people assume I am just working out to lose the weight.
Prior to college, I had drank a handful of times, smoked weed maybe 10 times, and had never touched another drug. Since college, I now regularly dabble in recreational drugs, which has a surprising amount of influence on my ED. During my first (and only) acid trip, I had a lot of self-realizations (lolz acid am i rite). Lots of these were about my low self esteem (don't look in the mirror while tripping, kids). I smoke cigarettes occasionally (usually before or after the gym lol, the irony!), enjoy the occasional line or five, and have rolled on MDMA once. I smoke weed semi regularly. I much prefer stimulants because of the appetite suppressant aspect. I'm trying to cut back on drinking significantly because of the calories. I am replacing drinking with stimulants for the weight loss side affect, but I don't partake frequent enough for me to call it a cocaine diet lol.
My current motivation to lose weight is to be able to wear the clothes like the girls in the super hot sororities wear, be confident in whatever I wear, and look effortlessly perfect. Typical thinspo does next to nothing for me. I much prefer motivating myself with girls I know or girls who attend my university that I see on instagram. It's a shallow motivation, and it makes me feel as though my ED isn't real. But I think it has to be, because why else would I be so obsessed with food and calories? Idk.
If you've read this much, thank you! I appreciate that you think I'm interesting enough to read about my life, lol. :)
**TL;DR:** This is an alt, I have anxiety and depression, I am obsessed with food, I used to be very very fit but gained 30 lbs in my first year of college, I participate in a lot of recreational drugs, and I compare myself to the hot girls on instagram that go to my college. :)
[Rant/Rave] It's All I Care About
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 02:14:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6izvrv/its_all_i_care_about/
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[deleted]
[Tip] I just found the best/worst website
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 02:14:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6izvpz/i_just_found_the_bestworst_website/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] how on earth do people water fast for more than one day??
/u/rebdom1ne
Created: Fri Jun 23 01:37:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6izr0u/how_on_earth_do_people_water_fast_for_more_than/
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i've only ever been able to water fast for one day at a time. it's not even that bad during the day, but when i wake up i feel so dizzy and i feel like i'm going to vomit if i don't eat something (i hate throwing up so this isn't a benefit for me lol).
anybody who has done prolonged water fasting, tell me your secrets
[Rant/Rave] I'm 3 days in to being back to restricting and I just took a few huge steps in my progress...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 23 01:26:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6izphl/im_3_days_in_to_being_back_to_restricting_and_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Thought all my dancing and restricting would make me look a bit smaller
/u/mynameisninabanana
Created: Fri Jun 23 00:42:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6izjf8/thought_all_my_dancing_and_restricting_would_make/
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I just watched a video my friend took of us dancing. Aaaand I still look like a fat blob.
Blah. I've been doing relatively *okay* with my eating (let's ignore some awful >3000 calorie binge days shall we?), and I've started dancing lately and go pretty hard at it. I legitimately thought I would look at least a little bit smaller than usual but nope. *Hello mynameisninabanana, the ocean called, they want their whale back*. Ugh.
Ok, who's in???!!!
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Fri Jun 23 00:15:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6izfm4/ok_whos_in/
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[removed]
[Help] how do i control binging during summer ??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 23:21:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iz7rq/how_do_i_control_binging_during_summer/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Nights are the worst
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 22:55:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iz3ma/nights_are_the_worst/
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[deleted]
[Other] Feed (Movie) 2017
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | - 130 | 30F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 21:44:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iyrp9/feed_movie_2017/
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I was browsing trailers after watching the trailer for To The Bone 5x and came across this movie coming out called Feed. Its probably been discussed before but it comes out next month and it seems like... half ED-centric. Its a drama or whatever but yeah..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-ml6edaQzI
ANYWAY it comes out next month I have been so bored with movies I'm stoked I'm a sucker for shit that is horribly depressing.
[Tip] Apple Cider Vinegar is a wonderful substance (and doesn't have to taste gross, either)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 21:28:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iyoqs/apple_cider_vinegar_is_a_wonderful_substance_and/
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[deleted]
[Humor] I remember why i stopped using laxatives now
/u/jayjayjaythrowaway
Created: Thu Jun 22 21:21:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iynkc/i_remember_why_i_stopped_using_laxatives_now/
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I want to go to sleep but I'm stuck in the bathroom :(
Pray for my butthole pls
Edit: I was fine all night and then I ate coffee so it's starting up again. Helllppppp
[Help] 1000 calorie/day deficit with working out, is that why I feel like I'm dying?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Thu Jun 22 21:07:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iykvy/1000_calorieday_deficit_with_working_out_is_that/
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My whole body hurts inside and my head is pounding and I can barely think. Been like this all day. I have tonsillitis right now too
[Discussion] [Discussion] Restriction and SOs?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: anywhere between 103-107 | GW: 99 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 20:49:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iyhis/discussion_restriction_and_sos/
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Does anyone else find that being around their SO makes them *lose* their desire to restrict? I noticed this yesterday, but when I'm around my boyfriend, I feel pretty much fine about eating normally and don't feel all that much guilt about eating things I would normally freak out about. Of course, the minute I'm not around him anymore the desire to restrict comes back, and since I've noticed this I feel like I'm endangering my goals by spending time around him....but just a weird pattern I noticed. Is this just me? How does your SO affect your ED?
[Discussion] i can't be the only one here who drinks a lot...?
/u/fuck_you_get_pumped
Created: Thu Jun 22 20:39:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iyfpu/i_cant_be_the_only_one_here_who_drinks_a_lot/
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i dunno, i guess i'm a borderline alcoholic. i don't care, really. but i'd rather have 14oz of wine than .1lb extra of weightloss in a day. i don't exceed my tdee very often, but i've been losing slower since i turned 21 for sure. i'll have <600 in food or just not eat to make up for the 4-6 glasses of wine i'll have in a night. anyone else the same way?
what other drugs do y'all partake in? i'm a big fan of weed and kratom.
er, i'm on mobile, so mods- tag this as discussion? thankyoo
[Help] Crazy Bowls
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Thu Jun 22 20:32:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iyecg/crazy_bowls/
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My mom brought me home Crazy Bowls and Wraps for dinner (like a teriyaki rice bowl) but rice is like so many calories and I gained a pound today and I cannot gain anymore weight but she will be weirded out if I don't eat and might not let me go to the gym tomorrow. What should I do??
[Rant/Rave] My ED is ruining my relationships... and I don't care.
/u/saulst [ 5'11" | CW: 169.8 | 22.93 | M]
Created: Thu Jun 22 20:10:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iya8w/my_ed_is_ruining_my_relationships_and_i_dont_care/
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My hatred for my body has been so awful I haven't been able to leave my house unless it's for a mandatory thing for the past month or two, and it's making my friends lose interest in me. I never accept invitations to hang out. It's your birthday? I'm sick. Your graduation party? It's my aunt's birthday and we are celebrating, so sorry!
I know it's slowly been ruining my close friendships over time and it's now gotten to the point where I'm no longer included anymore.
But the weird thing is... I don't care? I'm coming to a scary realization that I don't care about my friends. My family. My hobbies. School. Life. The only thing that consumes every hour of every day is my eating disorder. And I feel like I'm slowly watching myself fall apart and break away, yet I simultaneously feel invincible and in control?
Sorry for how dramatic and dark this got but I feel better getting this off of my chest.
[Other] Not sure if this is allowed, but do any teens here want to make a proed kik chat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 20:06:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iy9fc/not_sure_if_this_is_allowed_but_do_any_teens_here/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] I'm a recovery blogger. I feel like a fake.
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 19:41:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iy4ri/im_a_recovery_blogger_i_feel_like_a_fake/
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Just two weeks ago I finally posted about my blog which documents my recovery. In my post, I promised to be honest and open with my readers. I blog about life, recovery, body image, health, food, self care, all sorts of shit. But I don't know how to blog about relapse. This feels like it should be hidden, but if I hide it I feel like a liar. I want to give up on my blog. I want to run and hide.
I'm really sad tonight. If you read a recovery blog, would you want an honest and open post about relapse? Or would you want to pretend it as all okay?
[Rant/Rave] L m a o
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Thu Jun 22 19:40:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iy4el/l_m_a_o/
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Sometimes I can't stand this sub because it validates and feeds into the competitive and jealous nature of my ED and a small part of my dumbass wonder why people give out tips on being Ana or Mia because lol what the heck
On the other hand this sub is the best because when someone is going through recovery we all acknowledge as a group how much strength it takes to even think of recovery yet alone walk on that road and it almost feels like setting a caged bird free
I'm so feel-y today and I purged again a lil too hard and I'm all trembling
No hate I just hate what this ED turns people into.
[Discussion] Any tips for travel?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 19:33:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iy39c/any_tips_for_travel/
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I'm going to visit my siblings in Europe on Sunday. Any tips for restricting even eating in restaurants or with food labels I can't read? I speak French but not German or Norwegian :/
I'm thinking in the airport I'll just bring a few low cal snacks and tell my mom I don't feel well on the flight and not eat then
[Intro] Intro?/Rant?/Discussion?
/u/ToostsieWooGirl92 [5'5 | CW: 98lbs | GW:93lbs | 16.5 | 16 F ]
Created: Thu Jun 22 19:24:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iy1ge/introrantdiscussion/
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(First ever post on reddit so not sure how to flair?) So I have done a little lurking here and there. I'm not sure if I am really allowed on this page because I don't have a diagnosed ED. Also not sure if I'm supposed to be her because I weigh about 98 pounds. Which is why I finally decided to talk because I am freaking out. On Tuesday I went to the gym and weighed 96 pound which is 3 pounds above my goal weight. Yesterday I went and had gained a pound, and today after I worked out I weighed 98 (like 98.6 ish) (I don't have a scale at home, mom doesn't like them so I only weigh myself at the gym.) I am absolutely TERRIFIED of weighing a hundred pounds, because I never have in my whole life. (I'm 16.) I don't understand but I'm so upset because I barely ate anything today and I thought because of that and my workout I could have a good dinner but now I feel like I need to not eat anything for like 6 years. (Sorry this was so long and rant-y I'm really nervous.) Please let me know if I am not allowed here because of my weight or lack of real ED diagnosis.
[Discussion] So who else is shit at accepting help?
/u/babyslug [5'0 | CW: 83 | 22 | F | 🍑: @babyslug]
Created: Thu Jun 22 19:12:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ixz54/so_who_else_is_shit_at_accepting_help/
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I've been dismissive of my problems for about as long as I can remember, and I'm 100% sure it stemmed from my mom being the exact same way. When people offer help, she insists that it's fine, and of course, I modeled that (I promise that other than that, she's the best mom ever and I highkey hate myself for slowly killing myself when I know she needs me). But now I'm realizing just how much that shitty character trait plays into my ED. The first time I sought out help for it, I ended up quitting therapy because I convinced myself I wasn't that sick. The second time, my therapist referred me to an outpatient ED clinic and since I'm ME, I didn't want to do it and rage quit again like, ["Stupid psychology bitch couldn't make I more healthier."](http://i.imgur.com/2pUiVHK.png)
Anyways the whole point of this post is that I've never been good at accepting that I need help, even when I really, badly need it, and I was wondering if anyone else is the same. We can start a support group for one another and then proceed to maintain the image that we are totally fine and not dying inside!
But no seriously, I'd like this to be a thread where my fellow emotionally constipated friends can unpack their emotional baggage that they've been hoping to just lug around for the rest of their life. It's okay to do it, and we really need to.
~~I'll go first. My uncle passed away just this December. I still haven't dealt with it, even though I've convinced everyone in my family that I'm okay. I'm not handling it well. Sometimes I go over to his house (it's on the market and no one made me give his key back), sit in his room, and cry. I have been doing this for months and I haven't told anyone. Ah, now I'm crying lol. It feels good to say it finally.~~
[Rant/Rave] feeling really disgusting after eating too much early in the night
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 18:55:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ixvmo/feeling_really_disgusting_after_eating_too_much/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Has anyone ever tried therapy apps?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 18:23:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ixpg9/has_anyone_ever_tried_therapy_apps/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My butt is gone
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 18:15:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ixnsc/my_butt_is_gone/
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All my life, I've had the perfect butt. Even as a little kid. I guess the butt fairy decided to bless me with a lovely rounded rear. When I got to junior high school, all my friends would tell me how great my butt was. I loved my butt.
But FUCKIN ANOREXIA decided to take away my happiness, and my butt is basically my happiness. My butt is just a sad little lump now, or that's how I imagine it since I don't know for sure because I refuse to look in the mirror (body dysmorphia is fun amiright?) I was looking at pics from about a year ago before my ED started and you wouldn't *believe* how great my butt looked. It's like a slap in the face to flat-rumped anorexic me.
So if anyone out there reading this is on the fence about recovery: do it for the butt. (Also probably boobs but I was never very gifted in that department anyway.)
Reading back over this it sounds ridiculous but I'll still post it to maybe get a smile outta some of y'all. (:
[Help] Slow Foods?
/u/witchy2628 [5'3 | CW: 135.6| SW:190| 23f]
Created: Thu Jun 22 18:12:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ixn5w/slow_foods/
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Okay weird title, but lately my FAVORITE thing (hobby?), is to eat my meals as slow as humanly possible, while watching Netflix or something. I like the feeling of control, it gives me something to do sometimes, and I need to eat anyway. What are your guys favorite foods that are easy to eat slowly? Like a sandwhich for me is too hard to rip apart so I avoid that. So far on my list I have:
Mac n cheese (easy to eat one noodle at a time),
soups ,
mashed potatos,
fruit,
nuts,
anndd that's kind of it :( I have money and the house to myself tonight and I was excited for my ritual but I'm tired of eating the same stuff!
[Discussion] Has anyone tried growth hormones for bone density?
/u/Goodmorningfatty [5'4" | CW: 120 | BMI: too big | WL: 25 | Fluid]
Created: Thu Jun 22 17:39:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ixg8m/has_anyone_tried_growth_hormones_for_bone_density/
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Flair as Discussion I suppose?
Ok, long story short, I'm re-recovering from an old dancing injury in my Achilles, where there is massive amounts of scar tissue at the tendon causing the existing muscle and tendon to stretch out and micro-tear because scare tissue has no elasticity, thus causing inflammation and pain when I run. I also recently pulled my groin muscle AND I have a torn rotator in my shoulder that has been inhibiting my swimming. So.. basically I'm all fucked up. Lol. I pretty much live to excercize so this is all very troubling for me.
It was suggested to me that I take growth hormones for a month to help with the healing of all my old and new injuries. I read up on it and apparently it helps with bone density if you take it for more than a year. Now I'm doubly interested in it because if the "side effects" and not just to heal up.
So has anyone tried it? What was your experience like? Did you have to get a prescription for injections, or did you take it orally?
[Rant/Rave] I lost 4 pounds in 3 days (Update)
/u/raspberryfleur [5'6 | 117 | 18.9 | -52 | Female]
Created: Thu Jun 22 17:04:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ix98p/i_lost_4_pounds_in_3_days_update/
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So, with all the support of you lovelies and some friends I called the police.
I am going to the police office tomorrow to make a statement on video. He will be charged. The person who tried to rape me has had not one, but 4 other rape charges within the same MONTH. Yup. It took me a while, but I reported him. It sounds stupid, but the vile piece of shit has coerced me into sex before. So the police will know.
The fucker will end up in prison. I wish I could hug all those women he has hurt. To think I was going to let this slip. My god I honestly hope he gets raped. Brutally.
Also today. I didn't get the urge to purge all my food. Yay. Let's hope it stays. Thank you for all your love and support, proED. I love you all ❤
[Thinspo] [Thinspo] In honor of season 7 of Shameless getting on Netflix, I thought I'd share my ultimate thinspo, Emmy Rossum.
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 161.8 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 109 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 16:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwxrh/thinspo_in_honor_of_season_7_of_shameless_getting/
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https://m.imgur.com/a/MC9SR
[Discussion] does anyone else feel like they gain weight immediately after eating
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | bmi: low 18 | 22F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 16:10:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwxme/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_gain_weight/
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lmao it's so ridiculous but when i eat something that i know is unhealthy/high-calorie (or like carbs/other stuff as well) i feel like i can see/feel myself gaining weight, even if i'm still under a limit for the day. and logically i know it's so stupid and there's literally no way anyone would immediately gain weight after eating some damn crackers or a bagel or whatever but ??? maybe it's my discomfort with feeling too full honestly idk
[Rant/Rave] Relapsing and not sure I wanna stop
/u/hitherekate [5'2" | 166.2 | 33.54 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 15:42:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwr6s/relapsing_and_not_sure_i_wanna_stop/
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I relapsed shortly after i broke up with my boyfriend in August, and now it's almost a year later and i'm relapsing again. Last time, I stopped and sought help and felt better. Then my ex and I started talking and i thought we were gonna get back together but he was telling other girls i was crazy instead. seriously - he talked to me about getting me a christmas present and how much he missed me and wanting to see me, while telling her i was his "crazy ex who won't leave him alone."
Yeah i've decided im kinda done with that but i'm not really over it and it's helping fuel this massive relapse. it's 5:41 here, i'm exhausted, and i haven't eaten today. at this rate i probably won't.
i just need someone.
[Rant/Rave] "We need you to eat breakfast and lunch with the kids every day."
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 15:35:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwplx/we_need_you_to_eat_breakfast_and_lunch_with_the/
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Please kill me.
I have 3 weeks left in this job and normally am not here for meal times and just cook dinner. But the kids are out of school. And they think they're doing me a favor by letting me eat with them. And the kids are 14 and 16, so I can't exactly BS my way out of it.
I'm leaving for a huge trip in 3 and half week and wanted to fast a lot and eat my safe foods. They don't have my safe foods. I don't even eat breakfast. And I can't say I've already eaten because I'm with them. God damn it.
They eat bread at every meal and pasta and stuff that will send me down a mental spiral. Even worse since I'll have zero time to myself to recharge. I'm an introvert. You can't have my schedule be waking them up and cooking dinner with a free day in between to suddenly being with them 12 hours a day. I'm going to have a break down. I just need to survive a few more weeks, but jesus, I'm going to go nuts.
I'm so stressed over this and it's stupid, but so is eating with other people. This job taught me one thing: I don't like people messing with my personal schedule.
[Help] Managing health below 16 bmi
/u/Fatisserie
Created: Thu Jun 22 15:32:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwour/managing_health_below_16_bmi/
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(Kind of an arbitrary number, but the lowest I've been so why I picked it)
Planning to try to attempt 60 straight days of 1000 cal/day deficit, and I know I'm going to end up in the low nineties at the most by the time I'm done. I'd love to see 85 or possibly lower, but I'm about 10 years into this now and am already too sick to fast for more than one day at a time.
Basically, harm reduction tips?? Vitamins I should take?? Signs I should haul my stupid ass to the hospital, and signs that will feel like I'm dying but I'm not? (Been there.) How did you feel at 16 and below, and is it possible to maintain?
[Rant/Rave] Feeling sick.
/u/allafternooninlove
Created: Thu Jun 22 15:24:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwn3z/feeling_sick/
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Hello, I've been lurking around for some time.
I wanted to see if anyone else have had the same experience as me. I usually eat only one time a day (dinner) because I have to. I'm living with my family or at my boyfriend's place, so yeah. So it usually goes 24h before I eat something. For the rest of the day I live on coffe, smoke lots of cigarettes and chew gum. But lately I've been feeling incredibly nauseous. Have anyone else experienced that? And what do you usually do to make it feel better?
Edit: Can someone flair this post? On my phone and don't have access to computer.
[Help] Going to go stay in a cabin in the mountains, it's BYOB/Food. Tips?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F |121.6lbs | 21.28| 4lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 22 14:54:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwf5q/going_to_go_stay_in_a_cabin_in_the_mountains_its/
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Shopping for food for the weekend today. If I don't get help I'll literally buy a bag of apples and a handle of whiskey, starve all weekend while everyone judges me.
[Rant/Rave] You know that part of Office Space where like 17 people tell him to put a different cover on this TPS report?
/u/throwaway8274859
Created: Thu Jun 22 14:41:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwc37/you_know_that_part_of_office_space_where_like_17/
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That's my day today.
I want all the cookies. ALL OF THEM.
Instead I had a rice cake and a Coke Zero and slammed my head on my desk a few times.
[Discussion] Mew favorite whats your favorite 0 cal drink?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 14:40:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iwbpt/mew_favorite_whats_your_favorite_0_cal_drink/
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https://i.redd.it/lj1znxi6d95z.jpg
[Discussion] What will you do when you reach your GW?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 14:32:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iw9vp/what_will_you_do_when_you_reach_your_gw/
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[deleted]
Weekly emotional support June 22,2017.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 14:25:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iw84v/weekly_emotional_support_june_222017/
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[deleted]
[Help] Starting to work at a local fast food place, how to avoid cravings?
/u/Fatalope [5'4| CW 150 | GW 104 |HW 168 | 19 F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 14:15:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iw5s3/starting_to_work_at_a_local_fast_food_place_how/
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(Mobile please forgive)
So being in college I needed a part-time job, I found two, one at a local hunting store (bleh, but pays well) and the other at a golden fast food place, my downfall. I am offered 50% off each meal during work hours, and i normally work closing shift so its easy to avoid food.
But they are talking about switching me to mornings and making it harder to avoid eating there. We dont have any staff fridges or anything where i could keep some yogurt or anything they expect you to buy from there and I am trying my hardest to find ways around that.
Any suggestions please?
Dont wanna get diagnosed so im asking here
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 13:39:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ivwt7/dont_wanna_get_diagnosed_so_im_asking_here/
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[removed]
To The Bone- new netflix movie
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 13:08:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ivpjj/to_the_bone_new_netflix_movie/
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https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154697297353870&id=168757053164021
[Other] Not having today
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 13:06:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ivp2h/not_having_today/
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I've barely moved today. I couldn't sleep last night because of some shit that came up last night and today I'm exhausted and just done. It's harder on days like today with no structure, so I have no reason to really move or do anything. I have a couple of things I should do but I just want to curl into a ball and forget the world.
On top of that, the day or two following therapy appointments I'm sometimes really fucking sensitive because of trauma work. I feel disgusting and useless and it's so hard to want to be around people. I only left the house to be gross and b/p, and I'm not eating outside of that. I know I feel worse from destroying myself but all of this work makes me feel like I don't deserve to get better; I just deserve to shrink into absolute nothingness. I'm just a gross pile of fat that's prime to be used and abused and I don't know if I'll ever be able to escape that. :/
[Rant/Rave] No longer obese... officially in the "overweight" BMI range!
/u/BodilySolids [5'0" | CW: 140.6 | BMI: 28.92 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 12:58:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ivn8g/no_longer_obese_officially_in_the_overweight_bmi/
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I started approximately 167lbs, give or take... I quit weighing myself after I hit 152lbs (and consider it my high weight, but I know I gained at least 15 or so lbs after that b/c I grew about 4 sizes after that point) before I broke my 3 year binge cycle and went back to my old friend "Lose it". My BMI was obese, and I was embarrassed. I hide the weight well, because it is evenly distributed and I know how to dress/camouflage my fat, but seriously? Fucking obese? I couldn't stand for it when I had been a waif before. So today I weigh in for the first time in about a week... 145.6lbs. I calculated it, BMI 29.94... y'all... I'm overweight... as in not obese anymore. Never have I been so pleased to be overweight, lol.
Then I tried Halo Top for the first time today (birthday cake, if you are wondering), and I couldn't finish the container, because I was convinced it was sorcery. So. Fucking. Good. I feel like I need to run, because I ate half the pint and still don't trust that it was only 140 calories.
[Rant/Rave] I told my therapist about my disordered eating!
/u/Reagan_here [5'10 👑 OSFED Princess 👑 ]
Created: Thu Jun 22 11:51:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iv6rj/i_told_my_therapist_about_my_disordered_eating/
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Guysssssssss! I'm so proud of myself! I told the therapist I've been seeing for two years about my restricting/binging, and she didn't even freak out! I was so afraid that she was going to tell my mom and send me away to the hospital (stupid bc I'm still fat af) but instead we talked about why I was doing it and started brainstorming ways to cope with this.
If it helps anyone else, I'll just share what my therapist explained to me about why I'm doing this (for background I have a CPTSD and OCD dx already). We both agreed it wasn't a weight loss thing, weight loss is only a side effect of the fact that I want to be in control of something in my life. I've had some pretty back trauma lately and that's pushed my obsessive focus away from healthy things and onto an obsession with not eating. She also said something about how having gastroparesis can mess up the way I think about food (food=pain) so we will work on reestablishing a healthy connection with eating.
Am I cured? No, but I do feel so much less alone and on the right track to deal with this. Personally my ED has lead to a worsening of my already sick body and I'm sick of being my OCD's bitch. I'm not ready to recover yet but I'm hoping that I will be soon.
[Help] Suicide
/u/Torkmentor
Created: Thu Jun 22 11:28:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iv19l/suicide/
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24 years old, 5"1' 103 lbs, not diagnosed but my guess is EDNOS, I mostly restrict food and sometimes purge via exercise.
I'll try to keep this short, don't wanna bore you guys.
My days revolve around food, around restricting, around losing weight, around what I can and can't eat. I tried to recover a few months ago, went from underweight to "healthy" weight that I'm at rn... I tried, I swear I tried but I'm not comfortable like this so I'm working on losing again. I had a period of being really into exercise, people thought I was sooo healthy lol, but I was just obsessed. I honestly don't think I'll ever have a healthy relationship w food.
So what's the point in living like this? In 50 years I'll be dead so why not just end it now?
What's the point in anything really? Nothing fucking matters...
Today my boss told me that I have a few days off If I want to take em, honestly I've been putting them off because even though it gets harder and harder going to work everyday, it's the only thing that makes me get out of bed. Living seems like a chore to me... an annoying, tedious, pointless chore.
I'm considering quitting my job, enjoy life for a few months and then just off myself.
I have a psychiatrist appointment soon but idk, I feel like I could have depression but let's be honest I think I'm just being realistic.... thoughts?
Thanks for reading this ^-^ (sry for any grammar/spelling mistakes)
[Tip] PSA for anyone near a Kroger:
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Thu Jun 22 11:14:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iuxsm/psa_for_anyone_near_a_kroger/
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Kroger Brand "gel bites" are 15 calories per serving, 3.5 servings per bag. I just binged on these DELICIOUS, sugar g free, low cal motherfuckers!!!! 1.69 per bag and so so so worth it.
[Tip] Stop what you're doing and stock up on kiwi!
/u/backand_forth [5'6" | CW: 121.0 | GW: 115]
Created: Thu Jun 22 10:51:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iurqe/stop_what_youre_doing_and_stock_up_on_kiwi/
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Hey guys! I recently went to Aldi and bought some kiwi that was on sale. I didn't know much about them so I googled them to learn a bit more. (Apparently people have very strong opinions on the fuzzy skin.)
Anyway, these things are freaking amazing. TONS of fiber and vitamins, and apparently they're good for energy levels. And the best part is, they only have 42 calories per fruit! I just slice mine up super thin then cut the slices into smaller pieces and have that for breakfast now.
I'm sure you guys probably are already familiar with kiwis, but I didn't know how nutritious and low cal they are, so I figured I would share. Cheers, lovelies!
If y'all have any other fruits you go to, please please share them! :)
[Rant/Rave] Tfw you try to throw up Indian food in the bathroom at work
/u/flyingmonkeyssaymoo
Created: Thu Jun 22 10:51:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iurq0/tfw_you_try_to_throw_up_indian_food_in_the/
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I stopped trying when the automatic toilets kept flushing and ouch spicy food hurts coming back up. Also I got a healthy dose of chunky chewed chana masala on my hand - why does it look like baby food?
[Rant/Rave] My phone was confiscated at school and I'm currently losing my shit at everything else
/u/itscirclejerky [5'5 | CW: repulsive| GW: to disappear | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 10:33:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iunl9/my_phone_was_confiscated_at_school_and_im/
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My school has a no phone policy that essentially means that if I have my phone or headphones out on school grounds they can take them (both phone and headphones) which is really frustrating because parents need to come in to collect them.
I had my phone out before school started but I was waiting in the corridor for the library to open because that teacher was late so I had my phone out and a group of passing teachers saw the phone and took it. I tried to shove it into my pocket but the teacher said I'd get it back at the end of the day so I gave it to her (like a dumbass). Throughout the day I was freaking out because what if I get a Peach notification (even though I didn't have wifi) or what if she went through my phone (without knowing my password) so I was thanking God that I could collect my phone, go home and stop stressing. Unfortunately for me this teacher fucking gave it in to my head of year, who in turn gave it to the office for my year group, meaning now my mum has to come in to collect it. What level of tomfoolery is this? All because I had the indecency to use my phone before school hours.
How am I supposed to log my intake? Post to Peach? Check ProED? Add the paranoia of the school going through my phone and reading everything.
I don't have the energy to deal with this shit because I'm spending all my time stressing over whether or not I have a brain tumour or bleed. I've had a migraine for the last five weeks as of Saturday. There isn't anything I can do about it since tablets aren't doing anything and the doctor at my GP is so fucking incompetent and she just doesn't listen.
I went to A&E at week 1 and they sent an email about an urgent referral and this woman is trying to tell me they won't accept a referral since I had one in October. Like?? You're telling me I'm being argumentative, well what do you expect I've had a migraine for 4 weeks, of course I'm going to be fucking argumentative.
On top of this, I haven't been able to fast all Ramadan because of this migraine so I can't fulfil a religious duty and I've missed around 3 weeks of school (where if my attendance isn't high enough I'll have to redo my year, which I'm not sure if that's the whole year or the first few weeks)
THEN, next Friday I have a trip to Belgium, where we're going to the trenches and then a chocolate factory. I don't know if I even want to go because we leave at 2 am and come back at 11 pm. I only paid £10 of the deposit so I can just ask for my money back but I've been talking to people about it so I don't know if I can just drop out. I'll probably just get my refund (if I can)
/RANT OVER THANK FUCK
[Rant/Rave] Looking at the Bright Side
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 128 | SW: 170 | GW: Less | Gender: F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 10:02:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iug1s/looking_at_the_bright_side/
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Going to see my friend across the country (for the first time in years!), and my flight was delayed five hours...
And I'm just excited because that means I won't be expected to eat dinner out now, because I'll get there too late! So I have one less meal to stress about!!
[Discussion] DAE grind or clench their teeth?
/u/heartbrokenandok [5'7"-ish | 189 | 29-ish | -32.8| F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 09:29:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iu80q/dae_grind_or_clench_their_teeth/
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I've become more aware of it recently, though I'm sure its been a problem for a long time, and I'm really starting to wonder if it has to do with stacking my ADHD meds and large doses of caffeine.
When I looked up causes of teeth clenching, the major ones were stress or caffeine, so they seem likely culprits. I was just wondering, does anyone else have this problem? And how do you deal withit other than just consciously attempting to relax your jaw any time you notice you're doing it?
[Discussion] UK food?
/u/mythicaIIylink
Created: Thu Jun 22 08:57:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iu0ac/uk_food/
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I've seen Halo Top posted a lot on here as the go to low cal binge food but is there a UK equivalent that I can get my hands on?
[Rant/Rave] My friend sent me a picture of her to show me how much weight she's lost and I'm absolutely triggered
/u/beepitymeep
Created: Thu Jun 22 08:00:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6itnoh/my_friend_sent_me_a_picture_of_her_to_show_me_how/
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I'm running six fucking miles today and nothing is going to stop me lmfaooooo y am I like this
I seriously hate how it's normalized to do this without warning, because people like me get so fucked. I love instagrams with before and after a because they're strangers but I'm absolutely unable to deal with people I know well doing better at weight loss.
[Rant/Rave] I gained weight.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 07:49:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6itldx/i_gained_weight/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Thinspo - abs for days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 07:34:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6itik0/thinspo_abs_for_days/
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https://i.redd.it/561z5t6e975z.png
[Help] Has anyone bought Bronkaid at Costco?
/u/caffeinecunt [5'3|A literal fucking whale| F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 07:28:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ithdw/has_anyone_bought_bronkaid_at_costco/
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I get to go to costco today to buy dish detergent and stuff with my grandad, and I know that their vitamins and medicine stuff is usually a bit cheaper. I'm just wondering if it might be cheaper for me to pick some up there or if I should save myself the awkwardness of going to the pharmacy with my grandad to get it and just go to Target this weekend.
Also, upsides: there's a significant part of me that is anticipating that he might buy some or all of my stuff, because I am his favorite grandchild and he's the kind of grandad that will regularly try to slip $20 in my pocket even though I'm an adult. And I will probably not have to buy dish detergent and trash bags and stuff for like a year. Downsides: Free samples, and he might try to buy me food. And bulk packages of food in the face of my BED are just a disaster waiting to happen. So unless there is a mad fucking sale on like frozen spinach I'm not planning on buying food.
Edit:
I did not wind up having the courage to go to the pharmacy and ask about their bronkaid. I'll get one of my fuckbuddies to take me to Target this weekend. I did get a ton of vitamins though! And I didn't let myself be tempted by any samples. My grandad did, however, buy a ton of snacks like granola bars and goldfish crackers that are apparently for me. I'll probably feed them to my coworkers though.
I'm super excited to have 200 trash bags for some reason. Like I am never going to have to go back and buy more.
[Tip] [tip] workout tip?
/u/bumblebee945 [5"2| CW: 😷 | GW: 90 ]
Created: Thu Jun 22 07:15:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iteuf/tip_workout_tip/
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Most people listen to pump up songs while they work out but I like listening to depressing songs that remind me of how worthless I am. It motivates me to be smaller.
(Sorry for all the emo posts 😞)
[Intro] another little intro after being gone for awhile
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 101.0 | 17.9 | F 🍍]
Created: Thu Jun 22 06:55:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6itaut/another_little_intro_after_being_gone_for_awhile/
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every time I leave this sub for awhile, I come back to find a whole new batch of users who I don't recognize. don't get me wrong, that's a good thing. I love seeing this sub more active! anyways it's been a few months since I've seriously been on here so I thought I'd say hi again.
flair is correct, I'm 5'3", 103, F, USA. I'm not exactly sure on a ugw this time. I guess I just want to be under 100 again. last time I was seriously restricting for an extended period, my ugw was 95... but this time I am working out consistently, and more focused on looking thin overall, so I'm not going to pin down a specific goal weight. just to be lower.
anyways it's good to be back. this week so far ive averaged a net intake of 235cals which I'm proud of. also, I learned that (TMI) fat free ricotta is basically a laxative for me, so I'm now feeling pretty empty. hope you guys have a rad Thursday 💕
edit: also, if anyone here uses peach still, add me! my username is the same there.
[Discussion] What is your current exercise routine?
/u/commeunecho [168cm | CW116 | 18.7 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 06:37:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6it7fv/what_is_your_current_exercise_routine/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6it7fv/what_is_your_current_exercise_routine/
I am the fattest joke
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 06:17:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6it3v4/i_am_the_fattest_joke/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 22 06:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6it2sh/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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[removed]
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support June 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 22 06:11:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6it2rr/weekly_emotional_support_june_22_2017/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 22, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 22 06:10:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6it2nl/daily_food_diary_june_22_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 22, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Since going vegan I feel more out of control
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 06:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6it1t4/since_going_vegan_i_feel_more_out_of_control/
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[deleted]
[Help] Laxatives vs Fiber Supplements?
/u/mainechick [5'3'' | 135 | 23.9 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 05:50:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6isz4y/laxatives_vs_fiber_supplements/
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So I've been using Fiber supplements for a while because they have a similar effect to laxatives, but is there a reason I should be using one over the other? Many thanks.
[Help] Laxatives vs Fiber Supplements?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 05:35:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iswr0/laxatives_vs_fiber_supplements/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm so out of control I just want to die.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 93 | 15.66 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 05:17:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6istte/im_so_out_of_control_i_just_want_to_die/
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6000 calories last night. 3000 on sunday. 2000 saturday. 3500 friday. I am freaking out I have never binged this badly in my life. I know I will gain from this. I don't know how to calm down. I don't want to binge anymore. My stomach hurts so bad. 😢 I feel like a lost failure. I feel sick and disgusting and fat.
[Discussion] DAE wants to binge after having seen a *too* skinny person?
/u/Nutx33 [5'3'' | CW:115 | GW: 105 💃🏼 | 19F 👑]
Created: Thu Jun 22 03:59:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6isim4/dae_wants_to_binge_after_having_seen_a_too_skinny/
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When I see someone who looks like 'Google-> anorexia' I get scared and want to stuff my face lol. I just want to be pretty and thin like 'omg gurl you're so tiny and cute what's your diet??', not 'omg she's so boney I can't look at her' so everytime I see someone who is IMO too thin I'm scared I will look like that..someone understand? That's fucked up I think lol.
(Didn't want to offend anyone, I know some of us want to look like my goal, some want something else :))
[Discussion] Does anyone else has really conflicting goals depending on how they feel?
/u/OneCanNeverBeTooThin [F | 5'5" | HW: 216 | CW: 116 | GW: 100]
Created: Thu Jun 22 03:43:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6isgi7/does_anyone_else_has_really_conflicting_goals/
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When I get depressed more than usual or when my self esteem goes down I want to starve myself until I'm skin and bones. I want to be thinner than Jude Karda, Eugenia Cooney and Schmege combined. I want to be so thin people would be afraid to touch me. I want to be so thin my body would give up on me and I'd ultimately die.
However, on my better days I don't want any of that at all. I suddenly remember that weight lifting is way more fun than cardio, that I actually enjoy feeling strong, that I get energized and sort of almost happy from exercise and that no matter what I try to tell myself I do like eating food.
Obviously, those are two very conflicting body/lifestyle goals. One basically stems from self-loathing and the other comes from desire of self-improvement.
Oh, and there is also occasional shitty middle ground of "I'm totally getting toned/healthy after I lose *a little bit more*" which never really goes anywhere because you just end up moving your GW even lower.
So, has any of you experienced something similar?
[Rant/Rave] I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DISAPPEAR
/u/mimidudette [5'8" | CW: 143 | -22 | HW: 172 | GW: 125 | 20F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 02:22:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6is67o/i_hate_myself_and_i_want_to_disappear/
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Ate below maintenance today, had fun at work, had fun with friends after work -- by all means I should be having a great day but it's 4 am and now that I'm trying to sleep I can't stop pinching my fat and squeezing my ribcage inwards with my hands in a desperate attempt to make my waist smaller. I hate this, like literally all of it. I just want to live a normal life???? I just want to be able to have a normal day and study and go to bed and not want to cry about the way that my chin and neck and stomach and legs feel??????????? I just want to shrink away and not exist. I sooooo want to selfharm right now but I'm sleeping with someone semi-regularly and they'd notice in a second and so I'm just lying here gripping my fat and stroking my bones and dreaming about wasting away into nothingness.
Why are even my good days swallowed by this fucking ed. Fuck
[Intro] Hi there, LSD made me relapse into my eating disorder I think?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 22 02:21:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6is67a/hi_there_lsd_made_me_relapse_into_my_eating/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Eating food just to get rid of temptation.
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 161.8 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 109 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 01:40:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6is10e/rant_eating_food_just_to_get_rid_of_temptation/
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I could have sprayed Windex on it. I could have thrown it away outside. I could have made someone else eat it. But nope, what did I do with the last three slices of pizza in my fridge?
Fucking eat them. Easily 900 calories, plus the 70 calories of Halo Top, plus the 350 barbacoa salad from Chipotle.
Deadass want to die lol.
Oh well, it's not in there to fuck up my good days anymore. It's just inside my giving me food weight and massive amounts of anxiety.
[Help] Anyone else dealing with PTSD + ED?
/u/absoluttotalNonsense [5'2''| CW 109 |BMI 20.4 | GW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 22 01:12:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6irxe4/anyone_else_dealing_with_ptsd_ed/
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I've spent the last six months in intensive treatment for PTSD caused by childhood sexual abuse. It's been pretty tough - flashbacks, retrieving repressed memories, dissociation...it will only get more difficult before it gets better.
I was bulimic from ages 11-21. Now I'm 32 and once again stuck in a binging, purging and restricting cycle. I'm so fucking ashamed and disgusted with myself and I don't know what to do. I'm too ashamed to bring this up in therapy (I'm currently in group therapy and can't afford an individual therapist). I'm afraid that if I mention it, I'll be removed from the group until I get my ED under control. I desperately need to deal with my PTSD symptoms because they are adversely affecting my life, but I'm also terrified that my ED will only get worse. I feel like I'm too old to be dealing with this again...
Anyone else dealt with both of those beasts at the same time? Any advice? Do you think I should bring it up in therapy? (the general policy is that you cannot be in the PTSD group if you aren't stable)
Thanks for reading this.
[Intro] Cannabis quells my hunger
/u/exulansis-
Created: Thu Jun 22 00:14:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6irp4x/cannabis_quells_my_hunger/
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Cannabis doesn't give me the munchies. It actually makes me lose interest in food. I often use it just so that I can go without eating. I've been able to go days without thanks to the chronic.
I was kind of hesitant to post here. I don't have a diagnosed ED, but I go through periods of deliberate starvation.
[Discussion] Ughhhhhhhhhhh
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Wed Jun 21 23:59:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6irmun/ughhhhhhhhhhh/
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[removed]
[Other] I want to pseudo-recover
/u/theobeseana [5'7"|CW168|HW206|GW114|she/her/hers]
Created: Wed Jun 21 23:51:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6irlpw/i_want_to_pseudorecover/
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I'm tired of purging. I'm tired of binge cycles. I'm tired of restriction. I'm tired of hurting the people I love. I can't just let go or I binge, I can't track or I restrict. I just want to be healthy.
My new plan is this: eat as many (low cal) fruits and veggies per day as you want. You get 250 calories of other food groups. Things like bananas and avocados don't count, and plant based products that aren't whole fruits and veggies don't count either.
I know this isn't really healthy, but it seems more okay. I don't want to weigh my cherries and then weigh the pits and stems anymore. I don't want to be afraid of my scale and my food scale being wrong. I just want to breathe again. I want to stay active here but I'm trying to stay off it for most of the day. I need to focus at work.
I love you all and thank you for everything.
[Rant/Rave] when the only thing to do is purge
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 122.4 | 20.61 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 23:16:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6irgg9/when_the_only_thing_to_do_is_purge/
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because you're across the country working for the summer and the guy you're in love with doesn't want to be your boyfriend but, at the same time, doesn't want either of you to date other people. he sends you a photo of the beautiful lunch he prepared for him and his best friend. you check his ex-girlfriend's instagram, as you do most days, and see that he actually prepared the lunch for her. and the only thing you can do is purge, because you know killing yourself will hurt your mom's feelings.
[Intro] we're back boyz (:
/u/mikey-way [2 scared 2 weigh myself wooo]
Created: Wed Jun 21 22:04:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ir4i6/were_back_boyz/
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i used to stalk this subreddit p much hourly, commented & posted a few times but i doubt anyone remembers me haha
anyway i kinda went into recovery this past month or so & by recovery i mean i ate everything i wanted and pretended i wasn't gaining weight. obviously i was to the point where my mom tells me i have on, like, the daily.
so i'm back- coupled w the fact my friend taught me how to purge (& i can finally do it now!), i'm sticking to it this time. we're gonna hit our goal weights on time, people. it's gonna happen. moving up to a new school this year, & i gotta impress everyone who doesn't know me yet.
feels good to be back, by the way. i missed reading about all of yall 💞
[Discussion] DAE care more about how they look in clothes than how they look naked?
/u/saulst [ 5'11" | CW: 169.8 | 22.93 | M]
Created: Wed Jun 21 21:26:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqxpu/dae_care_more_about_how_they_look_in_clothes_than/
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Don't get me wrong, I hate my body 100% when I see myself naked, but I've always been 10x more insecure of how I look in clothes. I think it may come from the fact that I've sort of excepted the fact that no matter how skinny I get, my body can't be completely perfect because I have slight gynecomastia, but I've always had the goal of looking good in clothes and looking good naked has always been a secondary thing. Or maybe it's because I'm so insecure I can't even imagine another person looking at my naked body to make it a big enough goal at the moment?
Is this normal? Does anyone else relate or am I just weird?
[Rant/Rave] Please just put me in a blender and feed me to piranhas
/u/Discountmein
Created: Wed Jun 21 21:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqwjz/please_just_put_me_in_a_blender_and_feed_me_to/
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Flair as off topic I guess? Or rant? I'm sorry, I'm drunk and on mobile. Content warning: sexual abuse
I'll be as conversational as possible and clear as possible but I'm full of feelings and substances and memories. Terrible memories and I'm so confused.
I'm estranged from my parents. We barely speak. I called a family member (second cousin, my dads cousin, oh god) to reconnect and she confirmed some things that have been haunting me. That make me pour myself into a cup or bong or measuring spoon instead of... literally anything else. I think... I think. I'm pretty sure I was sexually abused. FUCK THOSE WORDS I AM TERRIFIED OF THAT.
I want to starve forever. Erase the memories of flesh. Remove the time my mother asked to see my pubic hair (guys that's not normal right) (hahahaha) or my father laid on top of me and called me by his wife's name. I don't want a body. I want to live in a life obsessed with intake/ outtake, macros, restriction... anything else.
I don't want to think. I just want to be hungry and please nobody touch me. Please let me keep pouring your stupid full sugar sodas in the plants when no ones looking. Please let me consume half my calories in alcohol and still lose two pounds a week.
Let me lose. Let me hide. And for fucks sake PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH ME
[Help] Experiencing body dysmorphia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 21:18:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqwgs/experiencing_body_dysmorphia/
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[deleted]
[Intro] Purged all the ED posts from my main and made an ED throwaway. Hi again!
/u/RedFoxDVM [5'3" | CW: 116 | -21 | UGW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 20:55:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqs6y/purged_all_the_ed_posts_from_my_main_and_made_an/
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I moved in with my boyfriend for the summer and he uses my laptop to browse reddit. I got paranoid he might click through my post history so I deleted everything and made a new secret account. So, hi again!
Side note my boyfriend has no concept of calories and thinks my eating patterns are totally normal. Its all I ever could have hope for 🤗
[Rant/Rave] Gaining back control.
/u/littlebirbb [5'7" | CW: ew | GW: 125 | -31]
Created: Wed Jun 21 20:38:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqp0n/gaining_back_control/
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I know my fiancé is at least a little bit aware of my restriction. I used to have BED and gained like 40 pounds in five years, despite "trying" several times to lose weight. Then I started taking my new medication. And oh my god, my appetite was GONE for the first few months. It made me feel like either a zombie bitch or a super anxious weirdo depending on the day, so I don't suggest it. I had always obsessed about food, but now I was working the other way. I counted every crumb. I skipped so many meals my usually "so busy he's kinda clueless" fiancé started to tell me I needed to eat. Okay, fine. I got super weird about exactly what kinds of food we could eat, where from, how much, when. We almost never went out. When we did I picked at a salad.
But then the initial stronger effects started to wear off. I started having cravings again. Put five pounds back on. Stayed at the same weight for 6 weeks. Hated myself. Honestly I think it was hormonal but whatever.
Now that feeling is baaaack and it feels so good to hate food. It feels good to rebel against the thing that is supposed to keep me alive. It feels good to be sneaky enough that nobody is noticing this time. It feels good to occasionally purge. I am in charge this time. It's not just nauseous no-cravings kinda stuff. I am in total control this time.
I have 11 weeks to drop another 20 pounds. I can do it. I lost the first 30 in like a month and a half. And now that I know better, I'm going to do better.
We got a really nice organic produce box/CSA box - basically all the local farms contribute their best produce, I pay about what we normally pay for groceries, and we get super organic, super premium produce. Honestly, that's half of what feels so good. I'm not limited by finances anymore. This isn't super expensive. It's affordable and it's good and I enjoy being not super subtle when I brag about it. Actually, I'm going to go eat some fruit right now so fiancé sees the dirty dishes in the sink and doesn't make me eat a real dinner with him. Grapefruits are giving me life right now.
[Discussion] DAE feel like exercise calories don't count?
/u/just_a_cat__ [5'8" | CW: 138 | HW: 160 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 20:36:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqole/dae_feel_like_exercise_calories_dont_count/
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I try to stay around 1000 cal/day, less is good, but I set my max 'high' because I am less likely to binge. Today I meant to make a smoothie for lunch and I thought "Oh, we have carrots and hummus at work, I'll just have a couple." Well that led me to eat 500 calories in snacks for lunch.
I had gnocchi that my SO and I made last night that I was looking forward to for dinner, but eating it would bump me up to 1200... so I went for a run so that I would be able to eat it.
Here I am, post-dinner, feeling guilty as hell because I blew my calories out of the water, even though my net after biking, walking, and running today is 654 cal... Do you guys count exercise calories? I generally try not to, but then I try to justify days like this with "Oh, well I still worked out a ton." Normal people do this and they lose weight, right?! Why am I so convinced that exercise calories don't count?
[Help] My friend used to have an ED and I have an ED now, how can I not make her uncomfortable with my eating habits?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 20:17:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqkrp/my_friend_used_to_have_an_ed_and_i_have_an_ed_now/
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[deleted]
[Help] Maintaining at a low weight?
/u/Xaquizzle
Created: Wed Jun 21 20:14:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqk72/maintaining_at_a_low_weight/
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Does anyone have experience with this? Specifically, how it affected things like lethargy, libido, or snappiness, or medical markers like heart rate and blood pressure?
Basically, will eating at maintenance improve my quality of life, even at this weight?
[Other] My reason to restrict
/u/bumblebee945 [5"2| CW: 😷 | GW: 90 ]
Created: Wed Jun 21 20:04:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iqidh/my_reason_to_restrict/
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I posted a while ago about my bf applying to a job in Amsterdam (we live in the US). Welp, he got it and is going. He wants to stay together but I'm not going to deal with that. I know he'll find someone better abroad and I'd rather not have to deal with that situation.
The good thing about not being good enough to stay for, good enough to love, is that I'm also not good enough to eat. GW here I come.
[Other] so fun
/u/bovidaes [5'5 | 20 y/o | -34 lbs | CGW: 125]
Created: Wed Jun 21 18:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iq20c/so_fun/
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does anyone else see thinspo posts and just overwhelmingly want to die because you know no matter how hard you try you'll never even be close to thin or is that just me
i'm so fucking fat and ugly lmao no one would ever love a disgusting whale like me
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend wanted Chick-fil-A during our road trip. I exercised self restraint.
/u/attenuatingpixie [5'7 | CW 125 | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 18:28:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ipzhk/boyfriend_wanted_chickfila_during_our_road_trip_i/
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https://i.redd.it/orzmpak4d35z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] In for a period, out for a pound?
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 96.8lbs | 17.62 | HW 125lbs | LW 82lbs | 👨❤👨]
Created: Wed Jun 21 18:19:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ipxo3/in_for_a_period_out_for_a_pound/
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~~I'm not funny~~
So I seem to have only gained a pound from period bloat (hence the shitty title joke) which is surprising but I don't see a reason to complain too hard (other than it putting me back in triple digits temporarily, grr)
I'm gonna TRY to treat myself kinda gentle the next couple days (wish me luck) but the pain has been making me nauseated so restriction *is* "self-care" rn lol 🙃
Also wish me luck bc this always fucks with my gender dysphoria pretty hardcore :(
I'm exhausted but this chrysanthemum tea is delicious 😍💮
Edit: on mobile, flair [rant/rave] SORRY
[Rant/Rave] Finally, a day where i don't over eat!!
/u/annwithoutthane [5'2|22.5|CW:119.9|GW:100|19F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 17:25:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ipmzz/finally_a_day_where_i_dont_over_eat/
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My day is coming to an end, and for the first time in like a WEEK, i haven't gone over 800 cal!!!! It's only because i've been at work and there's still a chance i could fuck up when i get home today but!!! I'm taking this as a win, for now.
Hoping I can stay strong when I get home 🙏 I just feel so happy right now, i really really think I can do it. Hopefully this is the start of a streak😅
[Rant/Rave] Well, I tried.
/u/heartemoji
Created: Wed Jun 21 17:06:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ipj4u/well_i_tried/
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I tried, I really did.
I set up myfitnesspal with a reasonable calorie number. I tried to focus on eating small frequent meals with a lot of healthy foods. I tried to lose weight in the safe, healthy way.
All it has done has led me to be on a binging streak. I can't.
I can only lose weight if I drink a ton of water, tea, coffee, and put off eating in the morning for as long as possible..
I tried :(
[Rant/Rave] DAE not have anyone to turn to?
/u/notlion [5'9.5" | 21.8 | 24F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 16:57:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iph83/dae_not_have_anyone_to_turn_to/
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I have isolated myself from everyone. My now ex boyfriend, my friends, everyone.
I don't want to be alone, and I'm desperately afraid of being alone. But at the same time... I can't open myself up. I can't let people in. My ED has made me want to isolate myself completely. Literally, my ED is all I have and I can't even be sure I have one (feeling like a fraud). I need friends. I need my family. And I need my boyfriend. I need help.
But I just can't.
[Discussion] inability to eat?
/u/antkings [20.1 | plant boy]
Created: Wed Jun 21 16:55:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ipgpg/inability_to_eat/
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does anyone else feel like... food is fake when they try to eat it? like, when they do eat, it's because they forced themselves to? I don't really know if this is normal. it smells like food, tastes like food, feels like food, but my brain tells me body that it's not food and I should spit it out. I guess its just intense fear of eating? I can't eat anything without feeling like... just bad I guess. I only eat because I need to be on my feet at work all day and I've been close to passing out before. i don't like count calories or anything and I don't even particularly think about losing weight that often. I'm gross and I know I always will be. does nyone else have to force themselves to consume anything?
[Other] This is not really ed related
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 16:46:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ipf0b/this_is_not_really_ed_related/
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[deleted]
[Help] Oh my God, someone brought FIVE TRAYS OF CUPCAKES to rehearsal tonight. Everyone keeps asking if I want one.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 15:52:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ip3ob/oh_my_god_someone_brought_five_trays_of_cupcakes/
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[removed]
[Discussion] |Tip/Discussion/Rave?| It's about how you look at it
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |113.2 | -106.8 | GW: 110 | UGW:100 | 20A]
Created: Wed Jun 21 15:40:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ip0vc/tipdiscussionrave_its_about_how_you_look_at_it/
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Today while at the grocery store, the first of three actually, I was feeling really weak and irritable. I knew it was because I had eaten breakfast earlier in the day than I'm used to and my hunger was kicking in.
We had to make a stop at home to drop off some fresh meat we purchased and I was having a really hard time convincing myself to eat outside my plans until a thought hit me.
'Would you let your character die?'
Let me explain. I really like RPG's, and recently I've been trying to rekindle my interest in them by playing a game called Rune Factory 4. In the game you can farm and battle monsters, but doing so makes you lose rune/health points. And how do you gain those points back to avoid dying and spending money to get revived?
You have to eat.
So I thought to myself, 'Would you let your character die just because you didn't want to waste a bite of a banana? No! You'd smash the B button to replenish your health so you could keep fighting!"
Sure, I couldn't stop thinking about the extra 30 calories I consumed for the majority of the ride to the next supermarket. But I noticed that I wasn't feeling as cranky or as tired. I'm not some other worldly thing that can subsist on air and water, unfortunately, that's not in my skill set. I needed fuel. And it didn't have to be a lot, it was literally a bite.
I dunno if anyone can relate. It's been really hard upping my intake, especially with the reality of incoming therapy looming. This felt like a little victory against thoughts I generally feel overwhelmed by. Maybe it can help one of you, again idk. Just felt like sharin'.
[Discussion] DAE use shopping as thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 15:31:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ioytc/dae_use_shopping_as_thinspo/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Annnnd safe
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 15:29:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ioydn/annnnd_safe/
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I did something right today and my weight wasn't brought up at my dietician appointment :) I also won't see her that often because summer and vacations. I feel like I have all the freedom in the world to restrict as much as I want because I don't have to worry about weekly weigh-ins.
One less thing to worry about!
[Rant/Rave] So close...
/u/posyposer
Created: Wed Jun 21 15:01:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iors7/so_close/
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I am SO CLOSE to my original goal weight, but I can't seem to quite get there. It was really satisfying getting closer and closer but now that I'm barely there I can't seem to make it! It's also slightly less exciting because I changed my goal weight when I realized I could achieve this one... do you guys do that? I've been restricting more and I'm stuck at home all afternoon and I want to eat the shitty snacks that my parents keep here but I know it'll just set me back :( also, today the barista at Starbucks didn't give me sugar free syrup and I didn't realize until I drank half of it :/ sorry I'm always ranting here but it feels so good to just get it out and know I'm being heard by people who get it 💞
[Help] Chewing/spitting addiction nightmare.
/u/Newbeginningtake2 [5'2" | 83 | 15.79 | 52lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Jun 21 14:42:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ionfj/chewingspitting_addiction_nightmare/
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Ugh, I'm so tired of wasting money, energy and time on this but I can't fucking stop. It's the one thing I've not told my therapist about and feel so ashamed of even bringing it up. Is there anyone here who has managed to break this habit?? I want to stop so fucking bad. It only brings more shame, anxiety and depression. I hate it. Every morning I tell myself, not today! And every day I cave. I hate myself even more for doing this but can't seem to get control over it. I know it's about underlying issues with control and anxiety but that doesn't stop me. Lately I'm considering just quitting therapy, quitting meds and see what happens. If I kill myself or whatever. I'm just so out of control and control is something I must have, need to have...in my life, I feel like I have none. Anyways, I guess I'm mostly venting here so I'll shut up. But any tips or suggestions for stopping would be greatly appreciated!
[Help] Anyone else here also struggling with PCOS? I know it's harder to lose weight with it, so I was wondering if there's any advice?
/u/herp_a_derp_attack
Created: Wed Jun 21 14:42:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ionel/anyone_else_here_also_struggling_with_pcos_i_know/
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Im going low carb, and struggling to stop my emotional eating ... But is there anything else that specifically works with PCOS.
[Help] fasting calculator
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 14:36:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iolyu/fasting_calculator/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Does anyone else only feel like they're successfully restricting when they get the blood pressure drop dizziness when standing?
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F 🚬]
Created: Wed Jun 21 14:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ioh98/does_anyone_else_only_feel_like_theyre/
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Yes, it's annoying to have to put my head between my knees every time I stand up too fast and yes, it's nerve wracking to have to remember to get up slowly around family so I don't pass out and out myself. But when I stand up after restricting under 500 for a few days and get that dizzy feeling and realize that I *haven't* been getting it in a while, it makes me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something.
[Tip] Pro tip for those who are not fans of Powerade zero
/u/blondecurlyhair [5'4" | CW: 137 | 24.1 | -60lbs | 22F 🌷]
Created: Wed Jun 21 14:05:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ioehl/pro_tip_for_those_who_are_not_fans_of_powerade/
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http://i.imgur.com/Qbi6jZ9.jpg
[Help] [Help] moving in with an ex-anorexic
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: anywhere between 103-107 | GW: 99 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 13:37:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6io7uz/help_moving_in_with_an_exanorexic/
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A friend of one of my roommates is moving in with us at the beginning of next month. We're not good friends yet, but I like her a lot and we get each other, so I'm super excited to live with her. What I'm worried about is that she has a history of anorexia, to the point where she was in inpatient for a while. She's ostensibly recovered, but she's still pretty skinny and she carries her weight in all the places I don't, so seeing her skinny legs/hips is a bit triggering for me. I guess I'm worried that living together will be triggering for me or for her, or that she'll notice all my weird behaviours that my other roommates think are normal and I'll have to admit to them that I have an ED. Any advice?
Sorry about the lack of proper flair, on mobile.
[Rant/Rave] i'm a liar and a terrible friend but at least i'm losing weight i guess :)
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | 27 F 🍋]
Created: Wed Jun 21 13:15:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6io2n9/im_a_liar_and_a_terrible_friend_but_at_least_im/
---
soooo i have a friend that i talk to a lot about recipes because we both love to cook. i was talking to her about these mini quiches i made this morning and she when asked what was in them i told her it was regular pork sausage and heavy cream. really it was lean turkey sausage and unsweetened almond milk. i've been lying to her about what i eat and how much of it so she won't bother me about my weight loss. i told her it's just because i'm following a ketogenic diet but that's not the whole reason. maybe this isn't such a big deal but i hate lying.
before my ED i was a really honest person. now i lie about everything.
[Discussion] On Lily Collins losing weight for To The Bone
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F 🚬]
Created: Wed Jun 21 13:13:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6io2al/on_lily_collins_losing_weight_for_to_the_bone/
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I'm already reading a bunch of people Having Opinions on To The Bone and a lot of the back and forth I'm hearing so far (since it hasn't even come out yet, there's only so much to argue about but hoo boy people are already finding something) is commenting on whether or not they should have asked her to lose weight for the role, considering her history with eating disorders.
While I understand where people are coming from, I personally find it infantalizing that people think she shouldn't have been asked to lose weight for a movie about anorexia, and just used CGI and makeup instead. If I was an actress, and had people tiptoeing around my past disorder like that, or worse, were passed over in favor of someone without a history of an eating disorder for fear of triggering a relapse, I would be pissed.
What do y'all think?
[Rant/Rave] They don't make clothes small enough! [Rant]
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57kg | BMI 19.05 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:56:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iny0h/they_dont_make_clothes_small_enough_rant/
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I'm not being funny but every time I see a cute dress or skirt online, the smallest size they do is a UK size 8. Like wtf is up with that?!
Bought some shorts from H&M - size 8 was the lowest they had...too big. Good on one hand, depressing on the other.
I saw this gorgeous tulle skirt on Elsie's Attic and the size 6 is sold out, or it's just not showing up on my screen.
And I don't think I'll be staying size 6 for long either. I've just stopped feeling hungry and instead feel really sick ATM when I think about food so I think I'm going to be getting down to size 4. My stomach is still flabby though.
[Rant/Rave] My friends a model
/u/futureskinnybitch123
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:53:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6inx8u/my_friends_a_model/
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So I'm fat as hell. And I hate it about myself. I'm honestly disgusting. But I just got a whole new wave of self hatred when I opened Instagram and saw a very skinny friend of mine is now a model that's going to be in a loreal advert. And I'm just here with flab rolls on my back because I can't stop eating. I just had dinner as well. I feel repulsive. This isn't even slightly coherent but I'm just having a bad time.
[Other] Just a reminder, lovelies
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:33:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ins84/just_a_reminder_lovelies/
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I know it's in the sidebar, but I've been guilty of forgetting this too.. your BMI doesn't have to be in the "unhealthy" range for you to be sick. You are not less deserving of support and/or treatment for being a "normal" weight. ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Anybody else weirdly competitive about their ED, even if you aren't trying to be bitchy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:28:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6inr0x/anybody_else_weirdly_competitive_about_their_ed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Can't blame my metabolism anymore for being a cow.
/u/tomathoe [5'3 | 112 | 19.8 | trying to stop purging]
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:26:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6inqky/cant_blame_my_metabolism_anymore_for_being_a_cow/
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All my life I blamed being chubby on my "slow" metabolism and bitched about not being able to eat as much as others without gaining weight. According to a recent hospital visit, it turns out I have hyperthyroidism, which means I actually have a faster metabolism than most others.
lol I'm so ashamed right now and just feel like venting :((
[Discussion] How does caffiene affect you?
/u/pcrnography [ -84 lbs | king of water retention]
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:25:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6inqh0/how_does_caffiene_affect_you/
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Just wondering because I drink a lot of coffee and diet soda everyday, but I fall asleep pretty easily.
I don't really have problems with it even though I normally do cardio right before bed.
[Help] Help with binging at my dads
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:13:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6innj3/help_with_binging_at_my_dads/
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I don't know what to do. My mom and dad are divorced. I'm under 18, so every other weekend I'm at my dads. My dad ALWAYS makes super high-calorie meals. We go out basically every time we're with him, too. He buys all of my favorite snacks/binge foods and I can NEVER resist. It's destroying me mentally. I keep restricting, and getting down to around 107, 2 lbs away from my low weight. But then I go to my dads and in the span of two days I gain AT LEAST 3 lbs. It never ends. I need help guys, i don't know what to do and it's making me hate myself even more and that on top of my depression is slowly killing me. Every time I get back I keep stuffing my face and it's terrible, because then I binge for a week or two and when I finally get back my self control, it's time to go back to dad's. This weekend is a weekend at his house. Help! (BTW I seriously lack in cooking skills and he doesn't know about any of this stuff)
[Other] Just want this appointment to be done
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 12:02:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6inkzc/just_want_this_appointment_to_be_done/
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I have my appointment with my dietician today, and although I probably should have weighed myself this morning to check and see where I'm at after not purging for a day, I was tired and afraid to see the number so I decided to risk it. I've been chugging diet dr. Pepper and have had my first meal of the day and I'm hoping it will be enough to tip the scales in my favor (pun intended :P)
I just don't want to think about it. My only saving grace is that it's only a half hour appointment so I'll be in and out of there quickly. I don't want a lecture and accusations of lying. I'd rather take a nap before my rehearsal and call it a day. Argh.
[Rant/Rave] Got off meds, gained 20 lbs, back on meds and feeling better emotionally lost 10 lbs
/u/rxBootySlayer [6'0| 194.6 | GW 145 | -45.4lbs | 26F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 11:58:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6injv9/got_off_meds_gained_20_lbs_back_on_meds_and/
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I've had one hell of a couple of months.. I'm back.
I have such an addiction to this cycle of self hatred and starving while antidepressants but am social, and going back to bad eating habits as I've dropped 10 lbs in two weeks.
Has anyone else experienced this?
I'm on Cymbalta.
[Humor] DONT LOOK AT MY SHAME !
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Wed Jun 21 11:55:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6inj1f/dont_look_at_my_shame/
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https://i.redd.it/hyw16cmxe15z.jpg
[Tip] Tips for recovering from a particulary horrible binge phase?
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 120 | 18.78 | 20F 🌼]
Created: Wed Jun 21 11:28:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6inc6k/tips_for_recovering_from_a_particulary_horrible/
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I've been in a cycle of stuffing my face followed by self-hate for a little over 2 weeks now. I'm lucky to not have them often, but when I do, 2 weeks turn into 2 months pretty quickly. I dig myself deeper and deeper into that self-hatred and the "how do you have no self control" rants in my brain that make me want to hide under my covers for days. I want to stop it from turning into 2 months as soon as I can. I was supposed to go to the gym today but I felt too fat to leave my house :/ I think that would've been helpful, but I literally wouldn't have gotten through the door without bursting into tears.
[Discussion] DAE consider recovery and decide against it like, 100 times a day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 21 10:58:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6in4ye/dae_consider_recovery_and_decide_against_it_like/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I'm so afraid right now
/u/carlems [5'1| CW: 106 | GW: 94 | -14]
Created: Wed Jun 21 10:30:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imy1u/im_so_afraid_right_now/
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So I've finally finished my biggest fear and started to eat more. Partly because the last time my period came was in January and my doctor said I should eat more for them to come back, but mostly because I've just absolutely lost control. For some reason I'm constantly craving for food and eating everything I see.
Anyway, our country has this "Midsummer celebration" thing this week, so on Sunday I made a deal: I'll eat this week in mainteance, then have a super tight next week and hopefully won't gain anything. And for the first two days, it was great. I've been eating about 1,300 calories each day, which is something I haven't done all year.
But. Today. Today I ate (at least) 300 calories more than I burned and the fear just hit me. I'm so scared to go to the scale next week. I feel like I've already gained all the pounds I've lost back and feel and look so fat. I'm definitely eating less tomorrow and ditch the mainteance-week idea, but I feel so disgusted and ashamed of myself. Obviously I'm over reacting, but I don't know how to stop this feeling.... gotta love the ED thoughts.
[Intro] Introduction for y'all
/u/i_have_daddy_issues [5'4" | 125.0 | GW1: 120 | GW2: 115 | F |]
Created: Wed Jun 21 10:28:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imxmx/introduction_for_yall/
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Hi there! You might recognize me as the girl who almost died from choking on peanut butter while binging the other day. Yep that's me.
I've never read any of the intro posts so bear with me. I've had an eating disorder since I was 15, but I can legitimately say I do not remember a time where I didn't use food as comfort. As a child, my parents went through a really bad divorce and my dad is super abusive emotionally and is extremely manipulative. My brother is the star child and is top 1% of his grad class at college. So I'm just kind of the "eh" child. I get by with okay grades, but there's nothing special about me. I isolated myself with video games and music and never went out.
Age 15, I developed anorexia. I didn't even know what was happening to be honest. I just remember I started eating healthier (because I was a fairly chubby kid) and I began to become fearful of foods. I didn't know why and I asked my mom for help but she thought it was a teenage thing. This is why I believe the eating disorder is not me, but I still listen to it anyways hahhaha. But once I began to lose weight, people at school started to talk to me. It felt good to be recognized.
That went on for 8 months and I self recovered (kinda) where I ate enough to maintain my UW and low bmi self, but it was still very restrictive and orthorexic-like. This went on for a year.
Summer of going into 11th grade, I had my first binge. It was on dates and nuts, but I remember how hard and fast my heart was going. I don't even know what made me think of binging on it. I didn't even know what binging was. But I binged and was ashamed. The next day I did it again. Then it turned into I was binging on stuff I hadn't touched in two years. I gained weight and people complimented how healthy I was looking. Then I go back up to my SW of 140 at 5'4. I was devastated, how dare I let go of all my progress.
I started to use laxatives and got addicted. I constantly had sulfur-burps, was exhausted because of the laxatives and fasting and was suicidal. I wanted to die than be fat. I barely made it through high school. I never went to any parties, never went out with friends, but I just sat in my room, B/Ping, restricting, and vowing to never binge again. I went to college for a year, but left because of depression and not being able to afford it.
Right now, my ED is everywhere. I went to IOP for it during April-present and it hasn't really helped. I'm just honestly bummed because I feel like I'm going to think like this my entire life. Everyday is groundhog day and it's driving me insane. But my thought pattern is that if I'm skinny, I don't care if the disordered thoughts are there. I've tried recovery probably 129309 times and will try it more in the future. Right now I just need my eating disorder. Here I am at 20 doing the same shit I was at 16.
[Discussion] My ED wasn't gradual or accidental
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 10:17:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imv2c/my_ed_wasnt_gradual_or_accidental/
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So many people say "I started dieting and it just got out of control" when you ask how their ED started. But mine wasn't anything like that. I don't really know why I did start restricting heavily, but I was eating at sub-starvation calorie levels from the day I decided to lose weight. I was 12 or 13, 7th grade. I wanted to be extremely underweight. It was never my goal to look attractive or normal-skinny. I wanted to look unhealthy from Day 1. I wanted people to look at me and know immediately that I was not well.
I don't think anybody "wants" an ED in that they think it's a good thing, a happy thing, etc. I think you can "want" an ED but **wanting** this means you were sick to begin with. Nobody looks at a very underweight person and says "#goals" unless they already have some demons.
But in spite of all that I still feel like a fraud. That's a really common feeling, especially since EDs are typically pretty competitive in a sense, but I feel like I truly am a fraud. I used to think I was doing it for attention (not really attention but to elicit concern from people in my life), but whenever anybody I know, ESPECIALLY my parents, mention my weight loss I feel like dying, so I don't think that's it. I don't know why I decided to start this, but it was a decision. And it makes me feel horrible.
[Help] Does anyone juice?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'4F |121.6lbs | 21.28| 4lbs]
Created: Wed Jun 21 10:16:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imutv/does_anyone_juice/
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Recently obtained a juicer and wanted some tips from the community!
[Discussion] TV characters with ED behaviors?
/u/shakyjellyfish [5'2 | CW 105 | BMI 19.2| GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 10:15:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imula/tv_characters_with_ed_behaviors/
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I was watching Futurama and in S6E10 (The Prisoner of Benda) Amy switches bodies with some of the other characters just so she can binge eat without gaining weight on her own body, which is literally my dream.
Have you guys noticed any other characters that have ED thoughts/behaviors, even if they aren't explicitly identified as having an ED?
[Discussion] Fantasies about being at my goal weight.
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Wed Jun 21 10:13:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imu1n/fantasies_about_being_at_my_goal_weight/
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I know that being at my goal weight won't solve any of my problems. I'll still be insecure, I'll still hate myself, I'll still struggle with food everyday. But for some reason I think that once I got my goal weight, I'll be happier, my friends will envy me, I'll be more attractive, I'll get my first boyfriend etc. It's such a weird thing because, I know that it's logically not possible. It doesn't make any sense, but it's the thing that drives me to restrict everyday. Do you guys have any weird fantasies?
[Other] New movie coming to Netflix about an anorexic girl called "To the bone"
/u/unecessarilymargie
Created: Wed Jun 21 09:55:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6impq4/new_movie_coming_to_netflix_about_an_anorexic/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=705yRfs6Dbs
[Help] I need to ask a question
/u/PARKABLE
Created: Wed Jun 21 09:50:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imogm/i_need_to_ask_a_question/
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Okay. It's against the rules of this sub to make a diagnosis about ED's. But I'm begging you to listen to me. I always though I had a eating disorder. But maybe I'm just a pig?
First of all, to me, eating disorders are things like: Anorexia, bulemia, Binge eating disorder etc.
I don't abstain from food, ever. I never throw up my food or over exercise. I do eat more than 4000 caloires every single day. Sometimes a lot more. Closest to BED but I don't eat a lot at once and then abstain the rest of the day. I'm obese says my BMI. But not fat enough that you'd notice me in a public setting. Sounds like pretty normal overeating right? Except all I think about all day is food. From the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep. And then I dream about it and wake up with cold sweats about it. I have a very sucessful boyfriend that works out all day and eats like a bird. He is going to leave me soon. I wasn't this weight when we met ( I was fucking 12 though and ran around all day ) . He never said it but I mean c'mon. I have promised myself every single day for the last 5 years, every single day, that I will fast the next day. Every single day. And failing everyday for more than a thousand days has made me such a miserable glob of nothing. I have no desire to participate in ANYTHING. I don't want to see ANYBODY. I can't exercise if I ate. I keep telling myself If I fast I can exercise and socialize and study. Because the second i eat a fucking crumb I start eating anything. Have I considered trying not to fast but simply eat less? Yes. Yes I have. Can't. Once I start I can NOT stop. And then I promise the next day I won't eat. I usually hold oud untill about 3pm. I have no life. No future. I'm going on vacation in 2 days and I'm going to see people I haven't seen in 2 months. I could have lost sooo much weight. It's like my constant failure fuels more failure. "Oh this has never worked why would it work today?". I'm enveloped by my obsession with being thin and I can't even say I have a disorder because I never abstain from food. I want to. But I have never. My mentall illness doesn't even have a fucking catagory. Maybe it's extreme denial but I don't think I'm simply a fatty. Because I don't eat cake and ice cream and pizza or donuts. Never have take out. I just do not stop eating even when I'm so full and the food tastes so bad. I punish myself everyday for fucking up my fast every single god damn day. Fat people enjoy food. I punish myself with food. For having food.
[Rant/Rave] I just dropped my food on the floor...
/u/TinyandLost [5'6 | Gross | BMI - OW | -13lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 09:43:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6immzg/i_just_dropped_my_food_on_the_floor/
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I know this probably seems trivial but I need to rant
I've been thinking about this salad ALL day, I was so happy to make it and I had it in the fridge waiting until I'd run all my errands for the day.
And I finally got home and was ready to sit down and finally enjoy it; lime, peppers and salad leaves, it was going to be amazing.
Anyway; I sat down, shuffled in my seat and the whole thing overbalanced and fell onto the floor...
I've never been so frustrated before.
I've been so strict with my eating recently and it was going to be a treat and now the bastards all over my floor..
[Rant/Rave] I'm so so sick of periods.
/u/dontgivearhett [❤️ 5'7" | CW: 119 | UGW: 115 | 18.64 | F 🚬]
Created: Wed Jun 21 09:16:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imgie/im_so_so_sick_of_periods/
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It's an entire week out of every month where my weight loss totally stalls. Actually, it ends up being like ten days. My weight shoots up at least three pounds, I drink a shit ton of water, and in a week it comes back down to where it was before.
It's super frustrating because I've still been restricting the whole time, so really I should end up lower than I started, but my the time the whole ordeal is over I'm just glad I didn't actually gain.
It feels like such a time suck.
I can't stop this two week binge
/u/CharlotteCherry
Created: Wed Jun 21 08:59:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imcan/i_cant_stop_this_two_week_binge/
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[removed]
[Humor] 😂 blast from the past
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 08:52:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6imapt/blast_from_the_past/
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https://i.redd.it/jdesp97ci05z.jpg
[Help] Where to buy jeans?
/u/slimesprinkle [5'2" | 88lbs | 16.7 | ?? | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 08:16:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6im30x/where_to_buy_jeans/
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Hi all, this is kind of an intro post/help post. I'm looking for a place to find jeans (not jeggings or skinny jeans, hopefully boot cut/flares). 00 is usually too big for me, and the 000 from Aeropostale and Abercrombie and Fitch are loose and make me look like a little kid.
Are there any hidden places I'm missing? I can't stand jeggings/jeans made from a stretchy material, and kids jeans are usually baggy or too short from what I've seen (or they are cut for a child's body/have silly immature decorations and accents). Help!
[Goal] For an event, I had to order a T-shirt 4 months in advance...
/u/borbolete [5'4.5" ]
Created: Wed Jun 21 08:05:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6im0nd/for_an_event_i_had_to_order_a_tshirt_4_months_in/
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Going to an event in October that I had to order a T-shirt for, so I had to decide what size I'd be in October.
I chose XS. Always gives me a bit of anxiety doing this - I mean, I think I'm XS right now anyway, but what if I gain a massive amount of weight? What if their idea of XS is much different than mine? The worst thing I can imagine is not being able to fit into my preordered shirt haha!
Anyone else had anything similar? I guess a similar (but more stressful!) comparison is ordering a wedding dress :)
[Help] TMI/Very sudden changes to menstrual cycle?
/u/babyslug [5'0 | CW: 83 | 22 | F | 🍑: @babyslug]
Created: Wed Jun 21 07:06:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ilovr/tmivery_sudden_changes_to_menstrual_cycle/
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Sorry if this has been posted about before, but I've searched the recent threads and I've yet to find one that addresses this exact problem. Anyways, for as long as I can remember, my periods have been really, really regular. Three days, every 28 days. But all of a sudden, it's 10 days early. Even my Clue app was like, "Uh are you sure?"
Has this happened to anyone else who gets periods? I'm not asking for any sort of medical advice, just wondering if anyone else had something similar happen with their cycle. I feel like I should go to a doctor, but I haven't been since I was ~15lbs heavier, and I'm honestly really scared of getting hospitalized.
[Discussion] DAE use makeup to control their eating?
/u/crescendols [5'0 | 99 | F | vegan]
Created: Wed Jun 21 06:28:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ilhw1/dae_use_makeup_to_control_their_eating/
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I usually wear a bright red liquid lipstick everyday to help control my snacking! I hate touching it up throughout the work day, so it really helps and keeps me on track. Anyone else have any makeup quirks, or am I just really weird? lol
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 21 06:12:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ileyw/daily_food_diary_june_21_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 21, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday June 21, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 21 06:10:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ileqz/way_to_go_wednesday_june_21_2017/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for June 21, 2017.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Intro] Introduction, I hope
/u/tinyaussiedreamer [5'2"|CW 53kg| BMI 21.96| -6kg |22F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 05:34:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6il8ja/introduction_i_hope/
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I think I have disordered eating behaviours. I've never been diagnosed and I never want to be. I eat way too much, feel great, and then later lay in bed hating myself. I try to lose weight through exercise and healthy diet, but it doesn't work and that makes me even more depressed.
I vividly remember when all this started. I was standing next to my cousin in front of a mirror. He was 8 and I was 6. He pulled his shirt up and poked his belly and said "Look how fat I am". I pulled my shirt up and he said "WOW! YOU'RE EVEN FATTER THAN ME!". I dropped my shirt down immediately, and when he wanted to compare bellies I sucked in. I haven't really stopped sucking in my belly since.
I want to get control of these horrible thoughts. I hope by restricting and fasting I can quickly lose a lot of weight and maybe that will help me regain my life. At the moment I feel terrible.
So that is my cheery, cheery, introduction :) I've been lurking awhile, but you all seem like such an amazing community that I wanted to engage for real.
[Other] [Other] I'm actually insane
/u/cuzzlingpunt [5'5 | CW140.4 | 22.8 | GW128 | UGW115]
Created: Wed Jun 21 05:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6il5vf/other_im_actually_insane/
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I'm trying to re-enter the job market with 2 years of experience and a completed master's degree. I never thought I would sail freely into a job but I didn't think I'd never get invited for interviews. Yet here I am inconsolable after yet another rejection and falling deeper and deeper into a hole of self doubt and frustration. It's bringing out the ugly side of my personality and I'm terrified that I'm going to drive my partner away. And that fear gets deeper the longer this goes on. I don't mean to be this way but it feels like my life consists of doing well in education but being confronted with brick wall after brick wall when it comes to employment. I'm 26, I know exactly what I want to do and was in a prime position to do it before I left to do this degree for two years. There is absolutely nothing I regret more than this decision.
The insane part? Every time there's a rejection I think 'this wouldn't happen if I was thin', 'this wouldn't happen if I was pretty'. Wtf. These people have never even *seen* me before they reject me. There is absolutely no base to these thoughts.
I'm so tired of being like this and I'm so exhausted from putting in the work, sacrificing almost all forms of recreation and watching people who do almost no work just sail into whatever career they want.
This is an indulgent rant. I'm sorry. :(
[Rant/Rave] God, i love water weight.
/u/jayjayjaythrowaway
Created: Wed Jun 21 04:42:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6il0j1/god_i_love_water_weight/
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I lost 4 lbs overnight. Hell yeah bitches. I haven't even pooped yet. ❤️❤️
[Discussion] Hey 25+ year olds do you feel guilty when you see younger peeps getting into an ED?
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Wed Jun 21 04:41:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6il0im/hey_25_year_olds_do_you_feel_guilty_when_you_see/
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Like, if you were to meet a teenager who was on the precipice of an ED what would you say?
id probably tell them:
1. Don't purge if you want your body to feel like yours
2. You can say NO and not feel guilt!
3. You're still growing. Go out in this life and tear it up and live it up lol don't be tied down to this thing called an ED
4. If you need help go and get it no shame
5. I'm here to listen even if I suck at advice
Lol idk what I'm even asking I'm sorry I'm so anxious 😩
[Other] Back on track because I'm sick !
/u/Zaomi [172 cm | BMI: 21 | GW: 55kg | 21F |]
Created: Wed Jun 21 04:35:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ikzo0/back_on_track_because_im_sick/
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It is as fucked up as it sounds. I already lost 3 kg (6,6 lbs) because I feel sick since 3 weeks and do have a huge lack of appetite. My doctor believes that i have a gastritis.
Something thats actually a bad thing but in my (our) situation... Well you know.
I'm thinking about stop taking my pills against the nausea. They are just treating my symptoms but the symptoms are really helping me to loose weight. I will get a gastroskopy in a month. So no cure till then !
I know other people do suffer in a situation like mine. But it makes everything easier for me.
Anyone else with experiences like mine ?
[Discussion] [Somewhat ED Related] To those who see a therapist (for whatever reason) what finally got you to go?
/u/AmberMoonstone [141.8 | 23.4 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 03:31:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ikqnu/somewhat_ed_related_to_those_who_see_a_therapist/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ikqnu/somewhat_ed_related_to_those_who_see_a_therapist/
[Rant/Rave] TIFU by consuming only fruit + artificial sweeteners
/u/negative_delta [5'9.5" | CW 143.2 | 20.4 | GW 130 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 01:01:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ik71y/tifu_by_consuming_only_fruit_artificial_sweeteners/
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Probably TMI/NSFW but I want my terrible decisions to be a warning for everyone else.
Ok so I live in Cali and it's officially hot as balls, so today I consumed:
- 1.5L of artificially sweetened sparkling water
- 2 nectarines
- 1.5 cups of cherry tomato, feta, and balsamic vinegar "salad"
- 2 artificially sweetened watermelon popsicles
- 2 scrambled eggs
- 1 sausage
While this is fantastic for my calorie goals and for surviving the heat, the effects on my digestive system were...less pleasant. You know how people think juice cleanses relieve them of "toxins"? Yeah, turns out that's what happens when your whole diet is fruit. And all the artificial sweetener probably/definitely made it worse. So that was my evening: an hour of awful cramps, and then a lot of...releasing toxins. I wasn't even at home, so I had to run to the bathroom at Vons and sit there sweating miserably until the other woman left and I could unload my shame in peace. Who needs laxatives when you have poor decision making skills?
...on the bright side, I'm down 2 pounds haha
[Rant/Rave] i think i'm just really lonely
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | 27 F 🍋]
Created: Wed Jun 21 00:39:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ik3z9/i_think_im_just_really_lonely/
---
the person i feel safest talking to is my priest so of COURSE he's in italy rn when shit is getting real for me. of course. my problems couldn't just wait until he got back. i don't even know when he IS coming back so here i am staring at my phone like a crazy person agonizing over if i'm being too clingy, if he'd even pick up if i called, if he's busy (he probably is), constantly googling what time it is in rome because i'm batshit fucking insane apparently. i'm just so........obsessive over people. especially men who show me even the smallest amount of kindness. not in a romantic way or anything. it's pathetic. i'm pathetic. i'm obsessive to the point where it invades my dreams, when i can even sleep. i hate it but i can't stop. i wish i could. i don't know how to stop.
i just want to feel safe again.
the silver lining is that my stomach is cramping too hard with nerves for me to be able to tell if i'm hungry.
[Rant/Rave] My insecure, narcissist bully of a mother fuels my ED
/u/unpollutedfantasy
Created: Wed Jun 21 00:23:40 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ik1iz/my_insecure_narcissist_bully_of_a_mother_fuels_my/
---
Ate a shit ton of food in front of my mom yesterday & she said, "No wonder you're gaining weight lolololollllll"
No, I've lost weight and she can fuck off. She's the one gaining weight and she's taking her insecurities out on me.
The thing that gets me the most is that today my dad said I look like I've lost weight. So now I'm thinking my mom has noticed that I'm losing weight and she took it upon herself to tell me that I'm gaining weight. What a bitch
[Rant/Rave] ALCOHOL.
/u/twiggybean [5'1" | 142 | -16 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 21 00:08:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijz6f/alcohol/
---
I know I probably have a problem. I don't even know why I like it, I'm appalled by it while I'm drinking it and during the hangover. But it's my main reason for binges, and it's why I gained so much weight to begin with. I have a problem.
Drinking makes me binge. I love food when I drink and I can never get full. Sometimes, I can have a good binge and purge after drinking; but this only happens about 1/4 of the time. Most of the time I just pass out in my bed tipsy with a warm belly full of binge food (My main struggle with restricting is insomnia; it is nearly impossible for me to fall asleep when I'm hungry). Then I wake up crying. It's usually pretty easy for me to fast all day the next day, since I ate so much the night before. I do like the fact that I have a good poop after drinking, it's gross but basically my only comfort as my poops in general have been suppressive and questionable my whole life lmao.
I am completely losing control. Can someone please give me some support/inspo/advice? I love you all.
[Intro] Hello [intro]
/u/Dolfii [5'3.5" | no scale :( | UGW: 95 | ]
Created: Tue Jun 20 23:38:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijui6/hello_intro/
---
Hello. I've been a lurker here for a while now, maybe a month or two? I don't really know how intros work, so sorry if I don't do this right! I guess I'm sort of in denial, I really hate saying that I have an eating disorder. I guess I technically don't, since I've not been diagnosed with one. But I'm here anyway. My friends used to make tons of jokes about my weight, saying I was fat, because, well, compared to them I (am) was. Little did they know how obsessed I really was with my weight. I hated (still hate) my body. Everything about it disgusts me.
I was constantly trying to find ways to lose weight quickly, but me being lazy didn't really want to diet or exercise. Nevertheless, I did. But to no avail. I lost no weight.
Then I discovered fasting. I read tons of articles saying it was 'perfectly healthy'. I couldn't REALLY fast, but I mean, it still counts if I only eat 200 calories a day, right? I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks. Nobody said anything. Nobody even noticed. I had reached what had been my 'goal weight' (I spent way too much time on MyProAna) and had convinced myself I could stop whenever I wanted. So, even though I didn't want to, I made myself stop. And that was that, for a few months.
And then it started again. I lost 7 more lbs before anyone noticed. The only person who did was my mom, whom simply told me I 'needed to stop losing weight'.
They were weighing us at school soon and I had lied to my mom about my weight (she also said I was 'getting too thin'). So I forced myself to binge and gain 5 lbs. And thus, the binge/restriction cycle started.
I've never purged before. I've tried (during worse times) but for some reason, it's physically impossible for me to make myself puke. I don't really know if that's a good thing. I binge too much.
I don't remember my BMI, but here are my stats. (Sorry if formatting is super bad BTW, I'm using my phone. Sorry about the wall of text :()
Height: 5'3.5"
Gender: girl
Age: less than 18
SW: 122
HW: 125
LW: 105
CW: 113ish (too scared to weigh)
So, there's my boring, long intro. Hi guys.
[Rant/Rave] Time to start the streak over
/u/theobeseana [5'7"|CW168|HW206|GW114|she/her/hers]
Created: Tue Jun 20 23:19:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijrlf/time_to_start_the_streak_over/
---
I was 2 weeks clean and then I b/p'ed the last two days multiple times ughh
Luckily I'll be back alone tomorrow so fasting it is (hopefully)
[Discussion] [Discussion] DAE fuel their ED as a means to essentially be a child again?
/u/SomeoneCoolerThanYou [5'6" | CW 161.8 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 109 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 23:08:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijpq6/discussion_dae_fuel_their_ed_as_a_means_to/
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My means of thinspo, a lot of the time, is seeing skinny girls in their preteen ages, and remembering I never got that. I was overweight well into middle school, until my eating habit turned, so I never got to know what it's like not to care about your body.
I don't know if this makes sense. I'm high and sad.
[Help] Im new so idk
/u/thatgirl115
Created: Tue Jun 20 23:07:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijpja/im_new_so_idk/
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How do y'all get your height, weight, goal weight etc. next to your username?
[Intro] Aggressive fitness to aggressive restricting?
/u/DeadandPrettyUs
Created: Tue Jun 20 22:25:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijik7/aggressive_fitness_to_aggressive_restricting/
---
Intro post! Hello, I am 24 and married and relapsing super hard.
I did not realize I had an ED for a long time. I knew I started hating my body way too young. I knew my dad calling me fat when I was 6 had fucked me up, but of course I didn't have an ED because I thought I was fat.
In high school I was biking 7 miles a day and eating 1200 calories despite being 5'6" I decided this was totally healthy and normal
In college I upgraded, I was biking 25 miles 4 days a week then lifting weights on the 5th day, all the while eating 1400 calories. 1400 calories is totally reasonable for a normal person right? The 25 miles had nothing to do with anything.
Then I graduated. I gave up the charade. I am restricting heavily, eating between 500-1000 cals per day, and letting my only workouts being walking a fuck ton.
Admitting this to myself has been difficult. Has anyone else here had a similar experience with trading an overboard workout regiment with heavy restricting? I hate that I have been this way, but it feels so much better than doing nothing. I just want to drink wine and sleep all the time, and every time I get on the scale I feel that more and more.
[Rant/Rave] I can never enjoy time out [rant]
/u/disbeetch [5'3'' | 130 | 23.0 | -38 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 22:23:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijiab/i_can_never_enjoy_time_out_rant/
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Mods please tag rant!
I spend literally all of my time out in public putting people into categories: thinspo/reverse thinspo/comparing myself (she looks about my size but whose calves are thinner? Is my butt as big as hers?)
Is it too much to ask to just sit at a bar with friends and not think about this for 10 minutes??
[Rant/Rave] Purging with a beard.
/u/RogueDinosaur
Created: Tue Jun 20 22:10:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijg7b/purging_with_a_beard/
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This is a quick rant but I just wanted to complain.
I like having facial hair because it helps me look like I have a better jaw line than I actually do, but I swear that, like, 50% of my puke gets stuck in my beard.
If I'm near a sink I can wash it out but a lot of the time I got into the woods behind my house so no one can hear me, so I have to wipe it away with a napkin.
Anyway, any other guys have similar problems?
Edit: please flair as rant, I'm on mobile. Sorry!
[Rant/Rave] No b/p and was social!
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 21:43:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ijb7o/no_bp_and_was_social/
---
Woo!
Today is the first day I didn't b/p in god knows how long, and I made it through the day on 750 calories. I was anxious about how I would handle the event this evening, especially food and drink wise. To combat this, I had my dinner which was pretty big (~500 calories) RIGHT before I finished getting ready and joined the party. The food was inside and the activities were outside so it was easy to avoid. The circle of people are ones I'm friendly with and tbh slightly intimidated by, but it was a lot of fun. I bowed out when my anxiety was getting a little much.
I have no food in the house that's binge-worthy (grapes, veggie burgers, and low calorie bread). And honestly I have a contingency plan in my head to munch on a veggie burger if I really do get hungry (at 130 calories each) because I bought a brand I don't like and I wouldn't mind getting rid of them quicker. Even then I'm under 1,000 and I need to have some bulk in me for tomorrow when my dietician weighs me. I can't go out for binge food because people are still here, and if I were to want to do that at like 4am, I wouldn't because I have an early appointment.
Not all days can be set rock solid like this... but for day one having this level of structure is kick ass. Have a lovely night everyone <3
[Help] Welp, I went off the rails a little. (Feat: A request for someone to check my calorie math)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 21:20:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ij6xg/welp_i_went_off_the_rails_a_little_feat_a_request/
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[deleted]
[Tip] I deleted my MyProAna account the other day and I feel much better off for it
/u/SherwoodGreen [180+ cm |60 or so kg!!!!| Male | 16 years old]
Created: Tue Jun 20 21:10:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ij51m/i_deleted_my_myproana_account_the_other_day_and_i/
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That site is pure evil and is only trying to bring you down. This community is much nicer <3
[Help] What are some cool jobs that pay decently where you are on your feet most of the time?
/u/Deee_xD
Created: Tue Jun 20 20:46:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ij041/what_are_some_cool_jobs_that_pay_decently_where/
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I hate hate HATE the idea of a "desk job". I'm too antsy for that. Need to burn calories!! Imagine having a slightly fun job where you burn calories most of the day, and how quickly that adds up?
I am not totally fit, but I like to get up a lot, and I never want to get used to sitting around.
So, what are some kinda neat or decent paying jobs that involve moving/fitness/etc that aren't super hard to get into? *EXCEPT retail or warehouse 😫 which pay shit anyway.
So far I know:
-server
-bartender
-cocktail waiter/waitress
-stripper
-paint instructor
-life guard?
-fitness instructor (have to be really fit and have certifications though but I might work toward that)
-pet walker?
-help setting up stages/venues
[Rant/Rave] Binged like FUCK for days, then started shark week so bloat + more bloat + PAIN
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 96.8lbs | 17.62 | HW 125lbs | LW 82lbs | 👨❤👨]
Created: Tue Jun 20 20:32:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iix8x/binged_like_fuck_for_days_then_started_shark_week/
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I hate everything right now and I really just want dark chocolate and a mojito :(
I feel so fat and disgusting from the uncontrollable binge days
I couldn't even count the calories, I'd have FLIPPED
(SOMEWHAT UNRELATED: anyone have any obscure/random quest suggestions for Skyrim? I suffer from debilitating cramps and am trying to get my mind off of the pain and nausea. Am level 47 dunmer with no specific focus except sneak I guess)
Edit: sorry for whining, I have no outlet rn :(
[Thinspo] Male Thinspo
/u/dyeed [5'9" | SW176 | CW168| male]
Created: Tue Jun 20 20:28:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iiw9d/male_thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/GfqLx8K.jpg
[Thinspo] She has been my thinspo/fitspo for years. No idea who she is though 😩
/u/moomaid_in_the_sea [5'5" | 124.6 | 21.0 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 19:43:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iina1/she_has_been_my_thinspofitspo_for_years_no_idea/
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https://i.redd.it/1wzbcy5klw4z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] forever wanting to be sick enough
/u/taiteisnotcool
Created: Tue Jun 20 19:25:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iijum/forever_wanting_to_be_sick_enough/
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Today is 4 months since my first hospitalization because of my ed and I'm desperate to get back down to my lw or even lower just so I can (oddly) go back and feel like I really am sick enough to deserve inpatient??? It sounds so twisted but in my mind if I could just hit my goal weight and be sicker than I was last time then I'd finally be able to let go...?
[Other] My five year old sister just called me out on my binge-restrict cycles
/u/loser_town [4'11 | CW: 106.4 | GW1: 100 | UGW: 84 | WL: -10.2 | BMI: 22.58]
Created: Tue Jun 20 19:00:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iif16/my_five_year_old_sister_just_called_me_out_on_my/
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I was watching Supersize vs. Superskinny on YouTube, and she came into my room to cuddle with me. She watched quite a bit of a video before making comments about the people. Stuff like, "That guy must eat a lot of junk food, huh?", and etc. I answered her to the best of my ability about vitamins and nutrients that the Doctor brings up in regards to their diets. But then she said this:
"Yeah, you have to eat healthy food, not just junk food. loser_town, you eat healthy food and junk food and healthy food and junk food and healthy food and junk food..."
You guys, she notices. She notices my binge-restrict cycles. When I'm eating like crap for days or even weeks because I'm so caught up in that part of the cycle. But she also notices when I eat less than even she does, and strictly only fruits and vegetables.
I didn't think my behavior affected her. She's so young... It's really very disturbing and distressing to know my baby sister notices the most fucked up part of me. I don't want this to affect her. She's always said that she wants to be like me when she grows up, but I want her to be healthy and strong and most of all, *not like me*.
[Rant/Rave] Yesterday I seriously considered purging for the first time. [Wall of Text/TW]
/u/EmpressAdrianne [🦄5'10"|CW167|GW 💀|SW225|F🦄]
Created: Tue Jun 20 18:39:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iiaw9/yesterday_i_seriously_considered_purging_for_the/
---
My thing has always been eating. Eating *everything*. Drowning my depression in greasy foods, burying my feelings under heaps of unhealthy snacks. The size of my meals were directly related to the stress load of life that I had at any given moment. If you'd ever wanted to check my mood, just take me somewhere to eat and see how much I would consume.
But lately I've been better. Eating less and not nearly as frequently. Sometimes to a bit of an extreme for me, but even then it feels like an improvement. My body has changed for the better somewhat and I'm honestly become a bit obsessed with that. Tracking the data, feeling proud when I can get through the day with the fewest calories possible, and even better when my overall deficit for the day is increased. Feeling like I can almost control the scale rather than being at the mercy of it.
Yesterday I slipped, and hit 1,609 calories for the day. Indulging in some McDonald's with my kids that night is what killed it, ~800 calories just for that! I felt anxious about it after totaling it up. I used to never bat an eye at meals like that and now I'd felt like I'd done something horribly wrong. I felt this almost unnoticeable gagging feeling in the back of my throat, not sure if it was the food or my disgust in what I'd done.
My brain kept saying "Look what you did, *you stupid fat fuck!!* This is why you'll only ever be a worthless piece of shit. *This is why everyone fucking hates you!*"
And as always, I believed every word.
I felt like I was at an emotional crossroads. One path was the one other average people would see as acceptable, the one where I finish my day and just put it behind me. The other was a secret one I felt strongly drawn to, though. To go in my bathroom and remove this filth to try and redeem myself. It was a dark feeling.
I've only ever heard of purging and have never done it myself. But I know the risks that go along with it, more so now that I've frequented this sub for a couple of months. My teeth are already a big source of insecurity, do I risk more damage to that if I head down this slippery slope? Can my throat handle this abuse? Can my body? Can my mind? What if I get used to it, *can I stop?*
Guys, I *know* I hardly have the most serious ED issues and I probably come off a bit flaky about it due to my ignorance about it all but I'll admit it still scared me. It was a new level of sinister focus I'd never experienced for myself. I see the lighthearted inside "jokes" or comments some have about purging, or the serious posts that are very emotional and hard to read, and I never judge anyone for any of them. It's simply not something I'm acquainted with so it's been hard to identify with personally. I guess I just wanted to share, to get the thoughts out of my head. Because I don't *dare* tell anyone I know IRL that I think these things. I didn't purge this time, but now I know it could be a real possibility for me.
[Rant/Rave] CAN. NOT. STOP. BINGING.
/u/religiousdogmom [5'5.75 | CW151 | GW115 | BMI 24.6 | 25F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 18:22:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ii7j0/can_not_stop_binging/
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I've been binging for a week, eating 1000-1500 over my goal. I need to stopppppp. Tomorrow is a new day, I'm going to get it together, and not binge anymore.
[Discussion] DAE feel like their BDD gets worse as they lose weight?
/u/blondecurlyhair [5'4" | CW: 137 | 24.1 | -60lbs | 22F 🌷]
Created: Tue Jun 20 18:16:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ii6em/dae_feel_like_their_bdd_gets_worse_as_they_lose/
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I've been having way more days feeling terribly about my body as I get to lower weights. I just looked down at my legs and despite gaining nothing I suddenly feel repulsed by them and feel like a gained 20lbs since yesterday. I've had days like this all my life but I am having more and more recently (multiple times a day vs only when I was getting dressed).
It's not helpful that it's happening as I'm supposed to go to IOP next month... the chances of me canceling that appointment are growing 🙃
[Rant/Rave] If I get up and binge I'll be fucking miserable later, but sitting here fighting the urge I feel fucking miserable now.
/u/Elope
Created: Tue Jun 20 18:11:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ii555/if_i_get_up_and_binge_ill_be_fucking_miserable/
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Struggling rn
It's so fucking annoying having what feels like a stash of fucking drugs in the house that I have to resist at all times. That stupid cupboard full of chocolate and other such shit is the bane of my existence. No lie, that thing, or some incarnation of it, has been single handedly ruining my life for years. How pathetic is that?
My mortal enemy is a cupboard.
[Discussion] Telling people about your ED?
/u/icy271 [5'4.5"| 105.4 | 17.8/18.1 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 17:41:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ihz53/telling_people_about_your_ed/
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I have a friend who knows I'm hiding something and while they don't pressure me to tell them, I feel like it would be such a relief for someone else to know about my ED and to be able to talk about it. But I'm afraid to because I feel like I'm not sick enough to be taken seriously, which I know is bullshit but it still prevents me from telling anybody so I'm kind of stuck in this mindset of "a couple more pounds, then I'll tell someone."
So I was wondering, if you've told someone about your disordered eating, how did you do it and how did it go?
[Rant/Rave] I have to wear a dress and speak at a graduation ceremony......
/u/gettingagrip4 [5'3" | Baby Hippo | 22 | -60 | 31F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 17:40:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ihysk/i_have_to_wear_a_dress_and_speak_at_a_graduation/
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Everyone will be looking at me in a dress. I'm thinking of getting into a car accident
[Discussion] DAE just walk around the supermarket and read nutrition labels
/u/flowenflower [5'2 | CW: 90 | 16.46 | GW: 89 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 17:23:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ihvb9/dae_just_walk_around_the_supermarket_and_read/
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... and not really buy anything? i'm guilty as hell of just walking around aimlessly getting totally wrapped up in the calorie content of things before i realise that i was walking around for two hours and must look like a nut to the workers. i actually find it kinda fun, idk, haha. it's like 'wow, TIL that one belgian waffle in this totally cool looking package is 240 calories, how horrifying but interesting!'
[Rant/Rave] pretty sick of my eating disorder/my own shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 17:17:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ihu4w/pretty_sick_of_my_eating_disordermy_own_shit/
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[deleted]
[Humor] Thought you guys would find my groceries funny
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 113 | 19.4 | -2| Woman]
Created: Tue Jun 20 16:35:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ihl9p/thought_you_guys_would_find_my_groceries_funny/
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https://i.redd.it/c26tgww1ov4z.jpg
[Tip] Got a free pint of Halo Top at Giant Eagle
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 16:32:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ihkgd/got_a_free_pint_of_halo_top_at_giant_eagle/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Bulimia ruins everything (don't need to read)
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 67.1kg | 24.6 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 15:30:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ih6r9/bulimia_ruins_everything_dont_need_to_read/
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I don't even know where to start. I have no social life. I don't talk to the people I live with. I can't get all my work done. All I feel is hungry and desperate. If I eat normally, I hate myself because I know I'll never lose weight. If I restrict, I hate myself because I can't stop feeling hungry and I know I'm going to binge and there's nothing I can do. If I b/p I hate myself because it keeps me fat and I shouldn't waste money on food I don't need. I don't mean to do this, but I have this list of everything I've ever done wrong in my life, and my brain just plays through the list every time I have a spare moment, so I get to see how much I've screwed up and how far behind I am compared to everyone else my age, and how I'm never going to catch up and I'm never going to be free. I'm so tired of this shit and I can't stop thinking about it or acting on it, and I can't get my work done because of it and I can't maintain a social life or even have a hobby because all I do is think about what a failure I am and then go and binge. Then I look lazy and undisciplined because I'm falling behind. Secretly, I think I probably *am* lazy and undisciplined, and that's why I'm falling behind.
[Goal] Those of you who have not made the progress you've hoped for:
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 14:17:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6igpbi/those_of_you_who_have_not_made_the_progress_youve/
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It's June 20th. Look at it again. Yeah. It feels like it was just January 20th. We're almost halfway through the year.
Remember in January the goals you set? Prepping for summer or end of school seems to be a common timeline, so I'm picking about now. June seemed so far away didn't it? And yet here it is.
If you're like me, you might be a bit discouraged. Or a lot. Or fucking upset with yourself. It's a personal combination. The mindset of 'fuck this' tends to only set us backwards and make it worse.
-----
But if June came fast, the other half of the year will fly by too. December will be upon us. You'll be wishing you started in June then. It always happens. Yes, it would have been fantastic if we reach our goals earlier. But just because we moved the finish line a bit farther doesn't mean the whole race is over. Keep going. There will be ups and downs and 'oh fucks' and 'ah yes!'. If you're thinking 'I fucked up', keep it past tense. Sure, it didn't go as planned. But you still want it.
Keep going.
[Discussion] Looking for advice on how to "properly" take EC stack pills
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:59:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6igkp5/looking_for_advice_on_how_to_properly_take_ec/
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[removed]
[Other] A song that made me think of us.
/u/Bridget6th [5'8" | CW135 | 20.5 | UGW119 | Female]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:57:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6igk6h/a_song_that_made_me_think_of_us/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXpjUePKFGk&index=1&list=RDXXpjUePKFGk
[Rant/Rave] Post "Binge"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:46:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ighh0/post_binge/
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[deleted]
A song that made me think of us.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:45:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ighbb/a_song_that_made_me_think_of_us/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I saw a picture at my low weight and while I looked better I was still ugly 🙃🙃🙃
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:45:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ighay/i_saw_a_picture_at_my_low_weight_and_while_i/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Something crazy happened and I feel sort of proud...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:29:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6igdgk/something_crazy_happened_and_i_feel_sort_of_proud/
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On mobile flair as rant rave or something like that.
Last night I was feeling awful and tired and stressed at work. For referance i work at a vegan cafe and for a Monday night i washed a mountain of dishes and cooked for a couple large groups and even my coworker who was cooking with me said we were getting kind of fucked...
so I had my coworker make me a little something to take home for my troubles and I just felt like maybe I would resign myself to a binge last night. I bought a couple things but set a budget ahead of time and was under budget.
When I got home I did binge but it was not as bad as it had been.
For a 9 or 10 hour day I probably was below my TDEE. My job is moderately active, I'm 5'9", age 25, and hover between 165 and 170 pounds that last two weeks.
I just did the math for everything I ate last night as I have been post binge and I only ate about 1800 calories which is a significant step down from 3500 to 4000. Also I feel like I satisfied some cravings as I ate single servings of things and moved on.
This morning I woke up and had a mini binge but it only totalled about 1000 calories and I don't really feel hungry or that full. It's still early but I feel relatively content for the day.
I know my accomplishments aren't much but two binges that were way below my normal binge intake and bordering on normal consumption just feels weird and foreign to me.
I imagine it'd be more normal if these binges were broken up into smaller snacks throughout the day. My approach would have been more akin to intermittent fasting I guess.
Also to humor myself I did some calorie adjustments into Lose it, my app of choice for calorie and weight tracking and if I ate 1500 calories a day, if lose 2 to 3 pounds a week and be really close to my goal by the end of the year..
It makes me feel hopeful that maybe I am capable of trying to be normal...i feel really disordered but the improvement from really large binges to those just below maintenance or my TDEE is kind of crazy to me.
Maybe there is hope for me yet?
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Alright, I'll take the win
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:20:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6igb63/alright_ill_take_the_win/
---
Got an outfit for my event tonight. For reference, this is how I shop:
- Go to one store that I researched online has clothing item needed (99.9% of the time: target)
- Look over department/store for thing needed
- Find thing
-Guess adequate sizing
-Check price
- Check out and done ✅
Yea, I hate dealing with crowds and I'm not fussy so I grab and run :P. This time, I checked really quickly to see if the dress might be adequately sized, an extra step that I normally don't take and actually opted for a small rather than medium. The small is actually BIG! I know Target stuff sometimes runs a little bigger but I resigned myself to mediums there last year. I feel good to be in something like that. My weight is always all over the place, and that's often due to minimal changes in water retention and such, so I rely so much more on how my clothes fit and this is a bigger win for me. Ahh it's so nice to feel like SOMETHING is really happening :)
[Discussion] Those who have very predictable food schedules - what does a day in your life look like?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 13:03:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ig6xy/those_who_have_very_predictable_food_schedules/
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For me, I'm very boring and predictable and once I find a safe food I stick to it.
A typical day, when I'm eating comfortably (comfortable for my ED, not my hunger), is usually:
**Breakfast**
* 1 serving of sugar free French Vanilla coffee creamer + coffee [32 calories]
**Lunch**
* Diet Coke [0 calories]
**Dinner**
* 1 can of Progresso Light soup [140-200 calories depending on flavor]
or
* 1 bowl of cereal with almond or coconut milk [150 calories]
or
* 1 veggie burger patty + 2 eggs [330 calories]
**Snacks**
* Fiber One Oats & Chocolate Bars [140 calories but very filling]
* Skinny Pop Popcorn [120 calories for 3.5 cups]
Tons and tons of water
[Thinspo] Me :)(sorry for being selfish, i like that photo)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 12:37:48 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ig0no/me_sorry_for_being_selfish_i_like_that_photo/
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https://i.redd.it/na2ihv3mhu4z.jpg
[Intro] Looooong intro post
/u/Caffe_Americano [☕️ 64.5" | CW148.2 | HW177 | GW110 | 29F ☕️]
Created: Tue Jun 20 12:22:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ifx5b/looooong_intro_post/
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Hi everyone!
I've been lurking here for months now under my main Reddit sn, mostly just upvoting anonymously. I finally feel like I'd like the ability to comment now and again so I made a new account to use here only.
I never really considered that I had an eating disorder until recently. I've never been officially diagnosed but if I was I'm pretty sure it would be EDNOS. Reading some of the posts here made me realize how absolutely disordered and not-normal/healthy so many of my food habits and thoughts about food are. I guess I always just kind of thought everyone was secretly like that but from what I've read here - I guess not.
It all started when I was little. I have no idea how young but I have memories of joining a ballet class sometime around 2nd grade. I cried before every class because I didn't want to wear my leotard because I thought I was the fattest girl in the class. I wasn't a huge obese child or anything but I was definitely the chubbiest there. I remember there was another girl in the ballet class who also went to my elementary school and I just thought she was perfect. She was so teeny tiny and her scrunchie always perfectly matched her ruffled socks and I wished with all my heart I could look teeny and perfectly put together like her. Meanwhile I wore oversized tie-dye shirts and bike shorts to school because I felt too ashamed of my body to wear anything else. I was EIGHT for crying out loud!
I used to sneak into the kitchen and grab handfuls of cookies to eat shamefully while hiding from my parents in my bedroom. I grew up sneaking food and then hiding the used dishes under my bed so my parents wouldn't find the evidence of my binges. I stole chocolates from the boxes of See's candies that my parents would get for holidays and I would drop the wrappers behind the China cabinet so my parents wouldn't see the empty papers in the box and know that some had been taken.
When I got a little older I started secretly buying diet gimmicks like some kind of supplements and teas that were supposed to magically clean you out and this weird thing that you strapped around your abs and it would shock your muscles and it was supposed to give you abs and fat loss without any of the work! Of course, none of these things worked.
By high school graduation I'd gotten a retail job where I was on my feet ALL the time and I stopped eating my lunches at school so I dropped down to my lowest weight of 120lbs (5'4). That was when I learned that if you just stop eating, you magically lose weight. I was not underweight or super skinny at all but it got my mom concerned that I was skipping too many meals and refusing food and she started feeding me all the time to get my weight back up. I know she was doing it out of love but I picked up so many bad habits from her. I've yo-yoed up and down since then but mostly up, up, UP!
I'm obsessed with food, with calories, and with my body. I'm either sneaking binge food or secretly not eating at all. I guess I never realized how disordered my eating habits were until I read some of the posts here and related so hard. I'm just glad to finally find a few people who can understand, relate and not judge me for being cray-cray. Thanks to everyone here for showing me I'm not alone. ❤️
(Omg that was some seriously looooong winded word vomit. Thank you for letting me have a space to unleash! It's clearly been bottled up for years and years...)
Edited to add: I'm on an iPad and I don't think I can flair? Also I dunno what the flair choices are? This would be an intro post, or a discussion? I dunno, sorry, mods please help!
[Discussion] DAE think their knees and feet are huge?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Tue Jun 20 11:18:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ifhh1/dae_think_their_knees_and_feet_are_huge/
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[removed]
[Discussion] DAE think their knees and feet are huge?
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Tue Jun 20 11:18:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ifhgu/dae_think_their_knees_and_feet_are_huge/
---
Like that's when you know you're losing weight when you look down and realize you have giant fucking feet and knees. Haha
[Discussion] DAE HATE how self-centered our EDs make us
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:51:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ifalc/dae_hate_how_selfcentered_our_eds_make_us/
---
yeah its us, we are overly critical, self-focused, endlessly perfectionist and relentlessly competitive, can't get numbers out of our heads nor our fingers away from our throats and our heads down the porcelain throne. Our accomplishment isn't the fact that we managed to get our tiredass bodies out of bed- it's the fact that we managed to skip breakfast or resisted eating a normal portioned meal last night.
Some days I just dislike how EDs make us so damn self-centered. There so much out there--shit to cry about, shit to laugh about, to DO and SEE and LIVE, but our EDs make us hyper-focus on ourselves and magnify our flaws and reduce us to a number or that magic word, THIN
fuck this man I'm so frustrated
and I don't even know what I'm angry about.
[Tip] New Netflix Series about Anorexia - "To the bone"
/u/sophiali1 [5'2'' | CW: 125 | SW: 138 | GW: 92 | LW: 97 | F22]
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:47:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6if9no/new_netflix_series_about_anorexia_to_the_bone/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=705yRfs6Dbs
[Humor] Ive heard legend of it
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:44:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6if8vj/ive_heard_legend_of_it/
---
https://i.redd.it/cw1ed6ldxt4z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I haven't lost anything in a week!
/u/welpthatreallysucks [♀ 5'4" | ⚖ 205 | -31lbs| 🇨🇦]
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:43:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6if8rk/i_havent_lost_anything_in_a_week/
---
I'm up a lb of burrito from last week and it's sure sticking around!!
I've been netting 0s... Eating under 500 calories a day I'm still I'm not losing anything!!! NOT EVEN THE ONE POUND THAT I PUT ON EATING THE GODDAMN BURRITO. I wanted to lose another 15 pounds before the month is over! WHY!!
God that was a good burrito.
[Other] (Super off-topic) Let's think positive for a bit. What instruments do the people of proED play?
/u/SherwoodGreen [180+ cm |60 or so kg!!!!| Male | 16 years old]
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:41:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6if887/super_offtopic_lets_think_positive_for_a_bit_what/
---
I myself play guitar and I currently use a [Squier Jaguar](http://imgur.com/a/b3H48), mainly because Kurt Cobain played Jags.
I'd love to hear what you guys play! If this is too off-topic I can delete it.
[Rant/Rave] [rant] toothpick
/u/shakyjellyfish [5'2 | CW 105 | BMI 19.2| GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:20:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6if33g/rant_toothpick/
---
the boy described me as a "toothpick body type"
sure i want to be skinny but i don't want to be a fucking toothpick
the only thing i don't hate about my body is my hip-waist ratio
he apologized when he saw i was mad but the damage is done
doing aggressive squats and glute bridges today lol
ugh why am i like this
[Discussion] What's the nicest encounter you've had with a stranger? (ED related or not)
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:00:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iey6k/whats_the_nicest_encounter_youve_had_with_a/
---
Strange I know, and not even ED related but I desperately need some positivity today. I'll share mine: When working a retail job a few years ago, I had a conversation with the most lovely woman- we talked for around 35 minutes, I think. (It was a super slow day at the store). She had such a nice aura and energy about her. When she told me she was leaving I said "Have a good day!" And she said "Have a good life, Princesslex92." And I didn't have my name tag on. I don't think I'll ever forget that. I have no idea how she knew my name. It's silly but I've always sort of thought maybe she was a guardian angel.
[Rant/Rave] Few things make me feel fatter than hot weather.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | CW 145.0 | UGW 105 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 10:00:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iey5w/few_things_make_me_feel_fatter_than_hot_weather/
---
Heat waves going on right now and it's 95f (33c) and it always feels hotter in the city. I'm taking care of 18(!!!) kids right now and they are all thin kids.
None of them are sweating or anything despite no air conditioning or fans. Granted, I haven't sat down in hours and all that but I feel disgusting.
I feel like the disgusting fat American who is a sweaty mess. It seems like no one else is sweating. Everyone walking by me right now has not even a glisten of sweat on them.
I want to be the person that people say 'How can you be cold!? It's so hot. Why are you wearing a sweater?'
Fuck. I just want to go home and get out of my clothes and take a cold shower. My clothes are a constant reminder I take up too much space.
[Thinspo] Carmen Dell'Orefice
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Tue Jun 20 09:52:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iewg7/carmen_dellorefice/
---
I was looking at thinspo (lol) when I came across this beauty of a woman and I was both astounded and inspired. She is 85 years old and she's the oldest supermodel, and she still owns it and looks
totally fucking AMAZING.
It just goes to show that being older doesn't mean you can't be beautiful or can't keep getting more beautiful.
Getting older shouldn't stop you from reaching your goal.
I thought I'd share this with y'all because it was really effective thinspo for me. OMG.
https://imgur.com/gallery/w5b4n
[Goal] I wish reaching a new goal was *just* a good thing
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 09:49:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ievsg/i_wish_reaching_a_new_goal_was_just_a_good_thing/
---
Hit a new low weight this morning and I'm pretty pumped about it, err the ED is pretty pumped about it but I'm a little "oh fuck, I have a dietitian appointment tomorrow and she will kick my ass." Since the one appointment in which she lost her shit over my loss I had been fluctuating due to my period and I had been back to high restriction so it was no longer an "issue." Now, since I have been spotty about making up food logs she sees on top of barely keeping anything down I'm definitely fucked.
The only things that may save my ass are: 1) my therapist appointment is in the morning before so I'll avoid a double ass beating, 2) Having the appointment in the afternoon allows for more water and food retention, thus artificially increasing my weight for the appointment. Argh. I'll have to check before I go in which sucks because I actually hate weighing myself unless the urge is there. The constant checking just fucks with my head too much and I like to avoid that.
Here's to having the lowest weight I've had in three years though. It will make shopping for an outfit for an event I have tonight a little less daunting.
[Help] How to get comfy when you're bony?
/u/adrienneirda [5'9.5" | CW: 109.2 | GW: 105 | HW: 150 | 15.6 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 09:37:19 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iesqa/how_to_get_comfy_when_youre_bony/
---
As I've lost weight, it's gotten harder and harder for me to get comfortable. Either my ribs are being poked or my knees are resting against something hard or my elbows are hitting something or my ass hurts. How have you guys figured out how to get comfy when you've hit the point that your skeleton doesn't really allow you?
[Rant/Rave] i'm watching earth girls are easy...
/u/blairwaldorfmustpie [5'5 | 200+lbs | 35 | -26 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 09:17:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ieo4h/im_watching_earth_girls_are_easy/
---
it's one of my favorite childhood movies, but now watching it all i can think is how, no matter how hard i try, i'll never have a body like Geena Davis'. idk it's silly, but i'm just sad that i'll always be so short and round
[Tip] If anyone is looking for a tasty low calorie energy drink that is cheap, I am your savior!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 08:55:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ieiwg/if_anyone_is_looking_for_a_tasty_low_calorie/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] Favorite tea?
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Tue Jun 20 07:35:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ie20n/favorite_tea/
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I have a killer sweettooth and I'd like to get into really sweet teas--think chocolate and sweet shit.
Please recommend really yummy teas :p
[Rant/Rave] I keep bingeing on nuts
/u/thinthinner-thinnest [183cm | 58.9kg | BMI (standard): 17.59 | 22F 🌱]
Created: Tue Jun 20 07:04:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6idw0e/i_keep_bingeing_on_nuts/
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Salted cashews and peanuts.
My no.1 fear other than oil??
Why TELL ME WHY my brain wants me to eat handfuls of the world's most cALORIE DENSE food
How do I stop myself from seeking out those tiny delicious fuckheads every night 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
**Edit: Added a comment below where I'll post my meals which will all contain like 100 cal of nuts #moderation**
[Rant/Rave] family is freakin me out mann
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 06:56:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iduih/family_is_freakin_me_out_mann/
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[deleted]
[Sticky] Self-care and Beauty Q+A June 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 20 06:10:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6idmej/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_june_20_2017/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Self-care and beauty threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 20, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 20 06:10:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6idmdt/daily_food_diary_june_20_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 20, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] I recognize that I'm sick.
/u/PrincessLex92 [5'3 | SW146 | CW 124ish | UGW100 | 25F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 05:09:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6idccl/i_recognize_that_im_sick/
---
But I don't feel skinny. Or even somewhat attractive. Body-wise, at least. I feel like I'm backed into a corner because I still want to lose weight. I don't know how to see myself the way other people do. I can hold up a pair of my jeans and think they're little. I can squeeze through tiny spaces even though it looks like an impossibly small gap. I can lie on my side and feel my ribs.
But I'm still huge. And I don't know how to see myself any other way.
[Rant/Rave] I hate running but I hate myself more
/u/goldkitty8
Created: Tue Jun 20 05:02:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6idbdm/i_hate_running_but_i_hate_myself_more/
---
Once upon a time I enjoyed running and now it's just to punish myself for eating that bag of chips.
[Discussion] My ED isn't fuelled by Barbie or fashion models...
/u/SpeckledCollie [173cm | 57kg | BMI 19.05 |- 16kg | GW 52kg | 24F]
Created: Tue Jun 20 04:50:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6id9k4/my_ed_isnt_fuelled_by_barbie_or_fashion_models/
---
My ED is fuelled by obesity rates getting higher. One of the things that sticks with me is how people say that we've forgotten what "overweight" looks like, and that people are heavier now than they were 30 years ago.
It makes me feel out of control, it makes me feel like I'm disgusting and I should help tip the balance the other way.
My ED isn't fuelled by guys I know, how I want them to like me, it's fuelled by random red pillers who talk about how all western women are fat are vile and good for nothing. It's a feeling of being noticed and I hate it.
Am I alone in this?
A melodramatic poem about my bulimia I wrote as a teenager
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 01:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iclh9/a_melodramatic_poem_about_my_bulimia_i_wrote_as_a/
---
[deleted]
[Intro] I'm too old and too close for this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 20 01:42:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6icklq/im_too_old_and_too_close_for_this/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Calories mentioned on package deceived me
/u/burningthroughtime
Created: Tue Jun 20 00:53:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ice2x/calories_mentioned_on_package_deceived_me/
---
For the last 4 months I was buying this package of Waffles that I thought was low calorie. I saw on the package that 100 grams was only 98 calories. Great! There are 12 pieces and the whole package has 250 grams. Amazing, right? I started eating about 6 pieces in one sitting. It was only 122.5 calories. How lucky I was to find such filling, delicious and low calorie safe food. Last night I had 4 pieces left and I decided to look again at the calories. I can't describe to you what I felt when I saw that 98 calories was per piece. PER PIECE. That means that I've been eating 477,5 calories MORE than what I thought. No wonder I was not losing any weight. I wasn't counting my calories correctly for fuck's sake. I am so mad and disappointed. I feel betrayed. But it was my own stupidity that cause this because I never checked again the calories. Fuck Waffles.
[Thinspo] Not everyone's cup of tea - Rila Fukushima
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Tue Jun 20 00:46:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6icd6i/not_everyones_cup_of_tea_rila_fukushima/
---
https://imgur.com/a/Ft8Is
[Rant/Rave] FUCK STARBUCKS.
/u/mothholes
Created: Tue Jun 20 00:21:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ic9li/fuck_starbucks/
---
Anyone else love the crap out of coffee-based desserts but can never trust their barista to 100% of the time use no/artificial sweetners, non-fat milk, etc? I get this paranoia in many situations where I'm eating something that I didn't make myself, but I've noticed enough Starbucks screwups that I started making my own low-cal versions that in my opinion, actually taste better too.
**Ingredients:**
* [Unsweetened Cashew or Almond Milk](https://silk.com/products): 25-30 calories a cup.
* Cold Brew Coffee or Cold Brew Concentrates
>[Chameleon Cold Brew](https://www.chameleoncoldbrew.com/our-coffees/concentrates/): All 0-5 calories per 4oz. Be careful! depending on the flavor, some of the ready-to-drink coffees are 40-60 calories a bottle. (Note: I haven't actually tested this brand yet, because it tends to be more expensive)
>[STōK Cold Brew](http://stokcoffee.com/products/#1): The black unsweet version is 10 calories per cup. I haven't used any other products because they're all higher calorie.
>[Gevalia Cold Brew Concentrate](https://www.gevalia.com/iced-coffee/cold-brew#?includeUnavailable): House Blend and Vanilla flavors are 10 calories per 8oz, Caramel flavor is 5.
>[MiO Energy Iced Coffee Concentrate](http://www.makeitmio.com/en/energy): 15 calories per 1/10th a bottle. I use this most because it's the cheapest and easiest product to find in stores.
> If you've got a french press, you can just make your own cold brew.
* Ice Cream: Not entirely necessary but can really add a lot more for a little.
>[Arctic Zero](https://www.arcticzero.com/products): Between 35 - 75 calories per 1/2 cup, depending on flavor.
>[Halo Top](https://www.halotop.com/flavors/): Between 60 - 90 calories per 1/2 cup, depending on flavor.
>[Breyers No Sugar Added](http://www.breyers.com/product/category/113566/no-sugar-added-frozen-dessert): Between 80 - 100 calories per 1/2 cup, depending on flavor. Worth noting that this brand is far cheaper than the above two, and just as creamy as regular ice cream, so you don't need to use as much.
* Other additions:
>[SweetLeaf Sweet Drops Liquid Flavoring](http://sweetleaf.com/stevia-products/sweet-drops-50ml/): 0 calories per serving.
>[Torani Sugar Free Coffee Syrup](http://shop.torani.com/Sugar-Free-Syrups/c/Torani@SugarFreeSyrups): 0 calories per 2 tablespoons.
>[Hershey's Sugar Free Chocolate Syrup](https://www.thehersheycompany.com/en_us/products/product/hersheys-sugar-free-syrup-17-point-5-ounce-bottles.html): 5 calories per tablespoon.
>[Fat Free Whipped Cream](http://www.reddiwip.com/products/fat-free): 5 calories per 2 tablespoons.
>[Flavored Protein Powders](http://www.questnutrition.com/protein-powders/): 100 calories per ounce, good for meal replacement & keeping hunger pains at bay.
Theres lots to experiment with, but my go-to recipe is this:
> - 1 cup Cashew Milk - 25cal
> - 1/3 cup Breyers Salted Caramel Ice Cream, slightly melted - 55cal
> - MiO Vanilla Coffee Concentrate - 15cal
> - 2tbsp Fat Free Whipped Cream - 5cal
> - 2tbsp Torani Caramel Syrup - 0cal
> - 1tbsp Stevia - 0cal
>All stirred together it's a delicious 100 calorie frappuccino! I've made this recipe for friends (non-ed) who even called it better than Starbucks! (the sugar free caramel breyers has teeny tiny pieces of candy in it that were just made to be blended into a iced coffee, it's awesome) Recently I've had to substitute the ice cream for ice chips, or just put the cashew milk/coffee blend in the freezer for a little while, because having ice cream in the house became serious binge/purge bait for me. :( I still recommend making it with the ice cream, but without it is only 45 calories!!
[Discussion] EC stacking and adrenal fatigue
/u/Littlesilverbird [5'3"|CW122|22.21|UGW96|F29]
Created: Mon Jun 19 22:30:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ibsri/ec_stacking_and_adrenal_fatigue/
---
Hey guyssss. Just wondering if you guys cycle your stacks and how long you stay on and how much of a break you take. I tried getting off the last time and lasted a week. Cracked and I'm back on and feel better. I just can't stand how tired and out of it and hungry I am without EC's. Obviously I want to be safe and not die and I also don't want to eff up my metabolism. Sooo, what do you guys do?
[Humor] Must give stomach what it wants
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Mon Jun 19 22:09:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ibp89/must_give_stomach_what_it_wants/
---
https://imgur.com/UWZvKbf
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like shit again
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Mon Jun 19 22:02:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ibo1d/feeling_like_shit_again/
---
A guy I'm kinda fwb with called me to talk about some awesome music and we ended up getting deep into life conversations and it was the whole "your body is perfect you don't need to restrict or count calories or anything, you probably are really deficient and I want to see you healthy. Will you at least do it for me?" And that kind of thing. Sigh. Do people just say that because they feel obligated to? Does he really care about me?? Does ANYONE
[Thinspo] [Thinspo] half of me wants to be that thin.
/u/RootBeerSoup
Created: Mon Jun 19 20:50:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ibble/thinspo_half_of_me_wants_to_be_that_thin/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61qiEx5ergo
Helo
/u/Skinnyemogir
Created: Mon Jun 19 20:37:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ib98n/helo/
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[removed]
[Help] Bloat from not getting period?
/u/wakeupmrwestt [5'6.5" | BMI: 17.4]
Created: Mon Jun 19 20:17:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ib5j3/bloat_from_not_getting_period/
---
:) Hi, so basically I rarely get my period.. I have not had my period since march and I feel like I've been bloated ever since. Today I got my period and I'm hoping the bloat goes away??
Does anyone know if there is any correlation between those two? I have never been so bloated for so long.. :(
Hope it goes away :'o
[Rant/Rave] I hate that sometimes my stomach feels like a bottomless pit.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 19:29:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iawiu/i_hate_that_sometimes_my_stomach_feels_like_a/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My name is Willow and I am addicted to food...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Mon Jun 19 19:24:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iavi5/my_name_is_willow_and_i_am_addicted_to_food/
---
On mobile so flair as rant rave.
I've done my share of drugs, I drink and self harm but I feel like food is my greatest vice.
People say they love food but I feel like for me it straight up is an addiction I think about it a lot and working in a kitchen it obviously comes up and my first instinct is to avoid it. I always feel a rush when I binge and eat them it fades to shame and remorse. I seldom actually enjoy food because I am just looking for the taste and the sugar or the carb sensation.
Sometimes when my cupboards seem bare I still somehow manage to think of something I can make. And eat and it's not even appetizing. Stale food and stuff that has been sitting in the fridge is not off limits but I still to vegan approved things ironically enough.
I wish I could have a normal relationship with food and eating but few moments go by where I am not disgusted by myself, others, the idea of eating or the aftermath, or the calories.
Calories are the Devil. Everything literally has calories and I still avoid them like they were going to kill me except when I binge and just feel out of control.
I just wish I could sit down and enjoy a meal or even a snack without the immediate remorse and bodily discomfort that follows.
To be normal and more accepting of my body just trying to be a body. Fullness should feel normal but not excessive. Hunger should be satisfied and not ignored for long durations. Food can be social, fun and fuel all at the same time. Treats can be just that. Treats
I know all of this but i can't overcome the mental block. I can barely eat anymore.
I'm comfortable or at least used to starving, the fainting spells, the irritability, the emptiness, the stomach growls and pains, the joint aches and shortness of breath at times and lying awake in the middle of the night wondering when I will allow myself to eat again.
Watching others eat while feeling envy and contempt. I envy their ability to be normal and I hate them for it. I hate this.
Willow.
[Discussion] Restriction by day, binge- fest at night...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 19:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iaszs/restriction_by_day_binge_fest_at_night/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] my friend with ED doesn't respect my boundaries
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 18:59:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iaqqs/my_friend_with_ed_doesnt_respect_my_boundaries/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Appalled
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 18:20:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iaj14/appalled/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] small victories?
/u/saintandserpent [5'6" | - 130 | 30F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 17:58:25 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iaemu/small_victories/
---
1. I went to the 7/11 that I go to frequently to get cigarettes, and the cashier who I used to see every day but now I see every few weeks said "Wow you've lost a lot of weight!" I was sort of uncomfortable and just said "yeah... thanks" anyway, theres that. I was wearing a big hoodie and a coat, too.
2. My husband got me this watch, and I haven't worn it for about 6 months... it was loose when he got it, its a link watch so not adjustable, which I still liked but it was not like not super loose .. yesterday I put it on and it slid halfway down my arm. Ofc my husband sighed but inside I'm like Yeah! I didn't really think I lost weight esp enough for that hah.
Hey y'all. Can we show this lovely person some love?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 17:47:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6iachf/hey_yall_can_we_show_this_lovely_person_some_love/
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https://i.redd.it/2c27j99wvo4z.jpg
[Discussion] Why do some people with ED sabotage other people's effort to lose weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 17:32:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ia9nz/why_do_some_people_with_ed_sabotage_other_peoples/
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[deleted]
[Other] So this was about my purging after all
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Mon Jun 19 17:26:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ia8hb/so_this_was_about_my_purging_after_all/
---
So I had an emergency meet with my psych after my gran mal seizure and being sent to the ER. And he was fucking right. He told me that my potassium is probably on the lower end and it's because basically I'm effing up my body's electrolytes and water content. I had to see a doctor today for followup (also so I can get the OK to go back to work and be allowed to drive again) and I asked the dr how my potassium was. It's 3.5--lower end of normal.
My psych was right. It wasn't a syncope, a hypoglycemic coma or a stress-provoked etc etc.
Bulimia is a monster
but all I can think of these days is purging and how to protect it.
Don't ever start purging.
It's terrifying when your body acts out of control, goes into possible convulsions, utters odd shit and blacks out all in front of a crowded room and wake up in the ER. I'm such a burden.
ETA my psych is really wanting me to stop. I don't blame him. He's told me he's had patients who's become vegetables after seizures.
f.u.c.k.
[Thinspo] "Classic" Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 17:25:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ia89i/classic_thinspo/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] "Classic" Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 17:19:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ia725/classic_thinspo/
---
[deleted]
[Goal] Do you have incentives for when you get to certain lower weights?
/u/sadanna [5'4 | CW: 120 | a 20 y/o gay girl]
Created: Mon Jun 19 16:56:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ia2ar/do_you_have_incentives_for_when_you_get_to/
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I totally do. For example, Imma buy myself a coffee maker when I hit 115 pounds. When I hit 110 pounds, I'm going to buy myself a dope ass hoodie from Urban Outfittters. When I hit 105 pounds I'm gonna shave and style my hair like a boy korean k-pop star. hehe. Share with me what you guys are going to treat yourselves to!
[Discussion] DAE feel weird when people come over?
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 16:56:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ia28a/dae_feel_weird_when_people_come_over/
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I have a functional kitchen again! Not that it matters as I have had nothing today, but it will help curb my b/p sessions going back to my safe meals. Thank sweet baby Jesus.
It was weird having another friend in my place today unexpectedly. It was to help move stuff, but I always get kind of weird when people are in my space. I feel like, although it's pretty neat right now, someone will catch something I have and my secret will be out. Like a piece of trash or my diet pills or something like that. Or my friend/current landlord will kick me out for my ED (has happened before, always worry about it happening again). Most of my friends also think I'm really trucking on the recovery path, where I'm far from doing so. I've also added vaping to my list of vices in the past year and I hide that as well (much easier to do than smoking thank god). Anyone else feel like there's something about their living space that screams ED and feel uncomfortable when other people are around?
[Discussion] Does anybody plan binge days WAY in advance?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 16:27:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9w2b/does_anybody_plan_binge_days_way_in_advance/
---
About 2 weeks ago I decided if I'm 102 lbs by August 15th, that can be my "binge day". I'm not going to go crazy (maybe 3000 calories total? so 1500 above my TDEE) but yeah I'm SO excited. already planning out what I want to eat
[Rant/Rave] |Tip/Rave| Barley tea🍵
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |113.2 | -106.8 | GW: 110 | UGW:100 | 20A]
Created: Mon Jun 19 16:23:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9vac/tiprave_barley_tea/
---
So I just found a box of Korean barley tea bags after doing a deep clean of my pantry and decided to try some since I wasn't feeling very well in brain or body.
Holy. Shitballs.
It's zero calories and has this lovely filling savory flavor and feel to it that makes it feel like you're drinking a broth. It completely calmed my nerves and filled me up, I may make another cup. And this is a 5+year old batch; I bet it would taste even more rich when fresh.
I'm excited about this because now I don't have to worry about the sodium bloat that comes with drinking miso or chicken broth to fill up. :)
[Other] Target is a dirty ENABLER.
/u/babyslug [5'0 | CW: 83 | 22 | F | 🍑: @babyslug]
Created: Mon Jun 19 16:20:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9ult/target_is_a_dirty_enabler/
---
https://i.redd.it/j2rjaeqcgo4z.jpg
[Discussion] What's your eating schedule?
/u/foodfornot [5'3" | CW 122 | LW 111 | | HW 142 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 16:05:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9r96/whats_your_eating_schedule/
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B: 200 cal protein
L: 200 cal greens
S1: 100 cal at 3:30pm
S2: 100 cal at 5:30pm
D: 350 cal
S3: 100 cal before bed if I'm hungry
As I've been lifting more and squatting to get more toned, I've been trying to eat a "normal" diet with decent nutrients to break from the usual fast for 2 days and binge for 5... We'll see how it goes!
[Discussion] What ever happened to BINGE, the ED dark comedy? It was supposed to be a series — did it get abandoned?
/u/what-a-sneakysnake
Created: Mon Jun 19 15:57:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9pgu/what_ever_happened_to_binge_the_ed_dark_comedy_it/
---
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aN9syJfWp8U&ebc=ANyPxKqkMUNyNyEcGTquM0u0DxbDL3jEhSRxayRMhU_Fyj1VjqYkDN51w9rlWsESkaqaJaQW2zUv4ao0Yl7n9-78S4I0tGanFA&time_continue=1
[Rant/Rave] WHOOSH
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 15:47:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9nbw/whoosh/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Psychiatrist tells me my BMI is "too low" at 19.5
/u/lily_nienna [6'3" | CW 154 | GW 145 | bmi 19.3 | - 6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 15:41:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9ly8/psychiatrist_tells_me_my_bmi_is_too_low_at_195/
---
I can't wait to explain to my Psych what a BS indicator of overall health the totally outdated and debunked BMI system actually is. I send her a message asking if I can get a slight increase in my Topamax because my depression meds are starting to make me binge eat again, and she tells me that my BMI is "dangerously low" at 19.5, which is not even close to what is considered "unhealthy" in the first place, and that we'd talk about it at the next appointment.
First off, my recent blood tests showed no signs of anemia or ANYTHING that could indicate any form of malnutrition.
Second, my body fat percentage is 26.1%. 26.1 PER FRICKIN CENT. So YEAH, I don't care how low my BMI is, it doesn't mean shit, and my doc is full of it.
I am so fed up with these people who have no freaking clue what the hell they're talking about telling me what's right and not right to do with MY body, as if we all have the exact same damn bodies. Before I was on the Topamax, I was binge eating and gaining weight like crazy. It's almost as if my doctor would rather I become morbidly obese or something, it's ridiculous.
[Discussion] EC/ECA stacks with Bronkaid anyone?
/u/quinoaslut [5'4"| 113 | 19.4 | -2| Woman]
Created: Mon Jun 19 15:20:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9h3z/ececa_stacks_with_bronkaid_anyone/
---
Never used bronkaid before but I checked and my local Walmart has it. Super interested in starting to stack but don't know what I'm doing and also don't wanna destroy my body. Does anyone around my BMI or lower stack with bronkaid or similar? I just wanna know dosages, timing, etc. I love adderall and was told it was similar but idk what I'm doing. ANYONE with advice it would be appreciated.
UPDATE: After being in plateau I lost a pound over night, worth the anxiety
[Discussion] Vitamin recommendations (UK based particularly)
/u/borbolete [5'4.5" ]
Created: Mon Jun 19 15:13:10 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i9fkr/vitamin_recommendations_uk_based_particularly/
---
I'm looking to do a vitamin run as I haven't been taking any vitamins for the past few months.
It would be great to have any recommendations of vitamins I should have in my cupboard. If it helps I'm also a vegetarian/slowly converting vegan.
Any brands that are particularly well known too. My nearest shop is Holland and Barrett in the UK so recommendations from there would be great?
Please flair with discussion?
[Tip] CALLING ALL PICKLE FANS: have you tried kimchi?
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | 21F | @blackcat_backfat]
Created: Mon Jun 19 14:43:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i98aw/calling_all_pickle_fans_have_you_tried_kimchi/
---
it's korean fermented cabbage fucking delicious, low calorie, and it comes in spicier kinds, and i really like fermented stuff because it helps with digestion
i can't really understand the wiki article but it also looks like it has a solid amount of nutrients too
only downside is it's kind of expensive (6$ for a jar)
[Intro] Intro, I guess
/u/PandorasMusicalBox [5'4" | CW:135 | UGW:115 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 14:19:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i92m0/intro_i_guess/
---
Hi all! I've been lurking for several months and I finally got the courage to introduce myself!
I'm Pandora and I've been suffering with anxiety/depression issues all my life. It's gotten pretty bad recently (I attempted about 2 months ago) and I've started self-harming by restricting. I found thinspo and pro-ana tags on tumblr a few months ago and my brain just kind of attached on to it? I guess you could say I'm a "wanna-rexic" because I don't think of myself as having anorexia or anything. I just see this as sort of an extension of my depression and want to harm myself. And it kinda keeps me in control of something and freaking out over my weight keeps me from freaking out over everything else? I don't know if that makes sense or not. I've told my therapist about my attempts at restriction and fasting before and he just told me he hopes I'm too lazy to actually start obsessing over this. Jokes on him though! I'm already obsessing over this. Feel free to casually murder me at any time.
I'm currently trying to reach 125 by August, but hopefully I'll be able to reach 115, so I guess wish me luck?
Sorry if this is totally annoying and mods, feel free to delete this.
[Rant/Rave] I'm back
/u/jizzjazzspazz [🚽 5'5 | CW: 131.8lbs | SW: 160 | GW: 125 | UGW: 110 | Poo]
Created: Mon Jun 19 13:57:57 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i8x5m/im_back/
---
And I hate myself more than ever.
I really
really
reaaalllly
j wanna end this
It's not about being thin anymore
It's about control
I wanna be happy
I wanna be able to not worry about what I eat.
I lasted a week.
I am so weak.
Why is today so bad?
Why is no food safe???
Kind words accepted.
This is my safety blanket burrito nest that I can be cozy and warm and safe.
Thank you.
[Rant/Rave] Weekly Binges
/u/SwedishKaiser
Created: Mon Jun 19 13:30:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i8qs6/weekly_binges/
---
My brain is conditioned to secretly binge on biscuits every time I visit my grandma. It's becoming a big issue. I visit her every once a week, and so I end up binging once weekly. I have never ever gone past maintenance of 1760 calories (yet, LMAO), but goddamn, seeing 1720 calories on my calorie counter fucking destroys my self esteem.
I try to visit around 5 or 6 so that I have less time, but since I sleep over, the binge happens at 9 or 10 usually. I've started saving up all my calories for the day just to binge. It might be a blessing in disguise and keep my hair from totally falling out but even if that was true it doesn't stop the wholly huge self loathing I feel. It makes me feel so invalid and like I've done something bad, and I feel like it might be the tipping point that makes me purge if it gets worse than this.
Tl;Dr - my hobby is wallowing in my misery, self loathing, and eating like a fucking starved beluga whale.
This is (RANT/RAVE)
[Discussion] [discussion] We all have our vices
/u/tiredoldyouth [5'9.5" | CW: 130 | BMI: 18.51 | GW: 125]
Created: Mon Jun 19 13:07:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i8l3t/discussion_we_all_have_our_vices/
---
Just now, I was thinking of how my two closest friends both have vices like I do. And it's oddly comforting. For me it's a pattern of bingeing and restricting. For my female best friend, it's cigarettes and alcohol. For my male best friend, it's binge eating.
We are all destroying ourselves in some way. The hope is that someday we'll be able to move on and minimize the damage we're doing to ourselves. I wonder if part of the reason I feel so comfortable with them is because we can understand the addictive habits and behaviors in each other. So we can open up to each other without judgment and anger.
Idk. I was wondering if you guys ever notice this about the people you love, and how you feel about it?
On mobile, can't flair.
Doing great
/u/xCatsunax
Created: Mon Jun 19 12:48:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i8gf7/doing_great/
---
[removed]
[Rant/Rave] fasting makes me a sensitive lil bitch
/u/percussivesilence [5'7" | 21F | @blackcat_backfat]
Created: Mon Jun 19 12:34:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i8d81/fasting_makes_me_a_sensitive_lil_bitch/
---
on one hand ya girl broke a gnarly binge cycle that lasted all may rip my bank account
on the other hand, im on day two of a fast and i haven't hit the floating cloudy feeling yet and instead everyone is making me cry
i have like zero emotions usually. poker face champion. but right now i get one kind of rude text from someone who is always kind of rude to me and i honestly want to cry at work. i was expecting this text to i basically exasperated him and knew this was coming. objectively it's not that mean but i just feel like i'm trying so hard to do this one thing of losing weight right that everyone else should just be nice to me? which is crazy because how could they know that. i just want to yell like hey look i'm trying not to be fat which is your least favorite quality about me so can you just give me a fucking break on everything else?
i know what you're thinking maybe you should just tell them you're having a hard time duhhhhhhh
uh no no definitely can't do that right now
this kind of came out like word vomit sorry if it didn't make any sense
[Rant/Rave] So today I went to the doctor....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 12:28:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i8boa/so_today_i_went_to_the_doctor/
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[deleted]
[Humor] Decisions decisions ....
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Mon Jun 19 11:45:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i81cs/decisions_decisions/
---
https://i.redd.it/jaok75je3n4z.jpg
[Thinspo] "It Girl" Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 11:42:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i80l6/it_girl_thinspo/
---
[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] My friend and I are out shopping and instead of eating I bought two new bikinis :)
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Mon Jun 19 11:15:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i7tsw/my_friend_and_i_are_out_shopping_and_instead_of/
---
I can post pics if anyone wants but omg I spent all my money on bikinis so I couldn't buy food and I'm SO HAPPY cause now I have THREE NEW BIKINIS from the past week and not more food!!!
[Rant/Rave] Ive plateaued :(
/u/NotStephany [5'5| too fat | 34.68 | -90lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 11:09:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i7sd9/ive_plateaued/
---
Ive been stuck at the same weight for the last month. Ive been gaining and loosing the same 10 pounds over and over again.
Ugh I wish this wasn't so hard.
Anyone else?
[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Such a perfect figure!!
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Mon Jun 19 10:47:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i7mwg/thinspo_such_a_perfect_figure/
---
https://www.instagram.com/k80schmid/
[Discussion] Does anyone else restrict by weight?
/u/StarburnerRav [5' 10" |Trumps salary in lbs | -40 lbs | Male]
Created: Mon Jun 19 10:28:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i7ii2/does_anyone_else_restrict_by_weight/
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Like, I'm allowed to eat whatever I want, but I can't eat more than 200 grams today?
[Rant/Rave] Can we talk about skinny shaming for a sec please thx
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 10:28:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i7ih4/can_we_talk_about_skinny_shaming_for_a_sec_please/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] What's your "TIFU" (big or small)
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 10:01:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i7bzb/whats_your_tifu_big_or_small/
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Mine was that I tried to take my Adderall with diet Coke.
I'm one of those "swing your head all the way back and choke it down" types when it comes to swallowing pills, so that motion, combined with fizzy diet Coke, resulted in the wonderful feeling of choking on both air bubbles and a pill simultaneously, then almost vommiting said pill back up. Ah. Good times.
[Discussion] Just curious - are there ED sufferers here whose EDs don't revolve around losing weight/being thin?
/u/smileyslimey [5'5 | 98 | 16.3 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 09:39:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i76x7/just_curious_are_there_ed_sufferers_here_whose/
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I remember what we were taught in school; that anorexics want to become thinner and thinner but bulimics are a normal weight and don't have body image issues. Obviously this is grossly simplified for school kids and not right at all.
It seems like pretty much everyone in this sub is fixated on losing weight and becoming underweight, and we have our flairs for this reason. No judgement, I'm one of them! 😂 But I'm just really curious if there are people here who struggle with eating, but not with their weight. Everyone's ED is different and idk learning about the science behind eating disorders is so fascinating.
[Help] I'm going to weight in a little bit, please pray for me lmao!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 09:16:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i71p1/im_going_to_weight_in_a_little_bit_please_pray/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] waiting for my period
/u/little_lemongrabs [🍋 5'0" | UNACCEPTABLE | 27 F 🍋]
Created: Mon Jun 19 08:40:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i6t88/waiting_for_my_period/
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i just want to get it over with. i feel so heavy and i haven't lost weight in a week despite watching my calories; in fact, i've actually gained 2 lbs since yesterday even though i didn't eat much more than i normally do. i'm praying for a whoosh, and soon!
[Rant/Rave] Defeated and "radical acceptance" that I'll always be chronically ill
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3" |95.4|16.5]
Created: Mon Jun 19 08:36:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i6si9/defeated_and_radical_acceptance_that_ill_always/
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I haven't posted in here for such a long time. I did want to recover. I worked the process. I am still working the process. But nothing in life brings me the satisfaction of losing weight. I don't think I can overcome this illness. Because it's not about being pretty. It's not even about eating healthy foods. It's about slowly just decaying, by choice. It's about self-destruction and power. It's about a big "fuck you" to anyone who tries to feed me generic lines about the wonderful life of recovery.
I just want to die from this. There is no place for me in this world. There is where to go, no place to fit in, and no space I can occupy. So I turn this body into this portable home, living inside my head.
It's not about being beautiful. It's about rotting, turning my outsides into reflecting how I feel inside. Empty. Nothingness. Needing nothing. Overriding primal instinct.
Weight loss is the only thing I can and want to do.
[Help] Booooorrreeeddd
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 08:33:33 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i6rut/booooorrreeeddd/
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I'm a contractor, so when work is slow I don't really have anything to do. We've been on pause for a couple of weeks so I've been twiddling my thumbs trying to find crap to do with myself that: 1) doesn't involve spending money and 2) doesn't involve a lot of driving because my car is shit and I can't afford to fix it. I've crocheted and colored myself into a corner (thanks to treatment those are my go to). Anybody have any thoughts? I'm tactile and ADHD so watching movies/TV or reading isn't usually workable.
Thanks <3
[Humor] Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
/u/debu-chan [5'3 | 108.6 | 19.77 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 08:00:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i6kq7/can_we_pretend_that_airplanes_in_the_night_sky/
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I could really use a whoosh right now ^I'm^so^sorry :(
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like pathetic because they're not underweight?
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Mon Jun 19 07:25:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i6dl6/does_anyone_else_feel_like_pathetic_because/
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My BMI is 20 and it makes me feel like I can't even have an eating disorder right. Like I can't even fuck up my own life right!!
[Rant/Rave] Last night my friends and I drove around town music up windows down and we ate fries and ice cream and I didn't make myself purge
/u/tryingwithmarkers [5'11" | CW 155 | GW 145 | -10 | F | vegetarian]
Created: Mon Jun 19 07:11:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i6asb/last_night_my_friends_and_i_drove_around_town/
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I'm kinda proud of myself for that one.
[Rant/Rave] I have surgery today
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Mon Jun 19 06:48:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i66la/i_have_surgery_today/
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I'm so scared that I'm shaking. :( I can't eat anything but I need energy so I don't pass out today. I got super drunk and high last night, doing blow until 2 am... I took like three caffeine pills this morning (idk why) and all of it is making my anxiety worse. I'm scared the drugs I did last night will affect my surgery in some way. I'm such a fucking idiot. Someone talk to me while I nervously pick at my skin for the next six hours until my surgery :(
Edit: I rescheduled! No worries anymore :)
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! June 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 19 06:15:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i60pu/weekly_stats_update_june_19_2017/
---
This is the weekly status thread for June 19, 2017.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 19, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 19 06:15:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i60p1/daily_food_diary_june_19_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 19, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
I ate salad and now I'm bingeing on corn thins with hummus
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 06:03:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i5ys3/i_ate_salad_and_now_im_bingeing_on_corn_thins/
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[deleted]
[Help] How do I get out of a binging cycle?
/u/whatisthisshow2002 [5'3" | CW: 47kg | GW: 45 kg | UGW: happy]
Created: Mon Jun 19 05:43:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i5vgk/how_do_i_get_out_of_a_binging_cycle/
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Oh lordy help me. I've been eating 2000 calories for the past fucking week and it's so gross but it's like a monster's grabbing me and making me do things and I'm not thinking. My counter says I ate 1100 calories today but I know it's lying and I need to get lower than that anyway. How the hell do I stop a week-long binging cycle?
[Rant/Rave] Hi. I'm YoungNeil69. Again
/u/SherwoodGreen [180+ cm |60 or so kg!!!!| Male | 16 years old]
Created: Mon Jun 19 04:01:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i5gld/hi_im_youngneil69_again/
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Deleted a lot of my social media in a drunken rage yesterday... Also managed to say some really mean stuff to a friend, who's been nothing but nice to me. I really shouldn't drink. It brings out the worst in me. Also the weight.....
[Thinspo] Her waist is so tiny and her complexion is gorgeous!
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Mon Jun 19 02:04:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i51mo/her_waist_is_so_tiny_and_her_complexion_is/
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https://i.redd.it/hc1zzy7e7k4z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Water/fluid retention is a bitch, post weekend check in (also Fuck trolls and people downvoting me. I'm honest and don't need your approval)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Mon Jun 19 01:40:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4yqb/waterfluid_retention_is_a_bitch_post_weekend/
---
On mobile please flair as rant/rave.
I actually budgeted 300 to 500 calories to go out with my coworker tonight but due to them having some physical stuff going on they had to take a rain check.
Rather than going home to be alone I walked around a lake ( 2.8 miles in addition to being on my feet for 8 hours and walking 2 milea to work) with my straight edge friend while we both drank propel zero and I chain smoked like a depressed French existentialist and bitched about work.
No real calories outside of a little coffee and a couple zero (read low calorie in actuality) drinks and I come home to weigh myself
It's been almost four days now and my body is really pissing me off. I haven't had any solid BMs (Sorry tmi but for the ton of laxatives I've taken I expect something) I feel like my body is retaining water and fluid cause my body is pissed off.
I was going to buy a couple low calorie safe foods for my day off to have a well monitored "cheat" day which would really be more like practicing restricting between fasts.
I guess I may reconsider. I want to self harm and I want to starve more no matter how cranky and irritable it makes me. Work is really hard surrounded by vegan comfort diner food and not being able to eat any of it. At least not letting myself all the while my coworkers order whatever like normal people.
What I would give to just be skinny and in control and normal. Instead I'm fat and disordered. I don't even get the appearance of being perceived as sick because all my damage is pretty much on the inside from purging and laxatives.
I'm working on things to do on my days off to stay out of the house and away from food. There's nothing vegan in my house. If I don't buy any food I won't be able to binge.
I will not binge on my days off...i will not leave the house with my credit or debit card and will only bring enough cash for bus fare, coffee or energy drinks.
I will continue to track my weight. I hate how much I feel control by my disorder but I feel like it gives me some purpose and in being controlled I have some control.
I just wish I didn't feel so alone. I have no one really. One friend who can't relate much and a bunch or coworkers i can barely stand and a hard job that physically and mentally pushes me to the edge.
I briefly thought about going to the ER for suicidal ideation but don't really want to be hospitalized again and I know they will just make me eat and do therapy neither seem that helpful also I could lose my job and miss my vacation coming up.
So that's my miserable shitty life.
How was your weekend?
Willow
[Help] Some advice regarding alcohol needed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 19 01:35:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4y39/some_advice_regarding_alcohol_needed/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I just want to sleep
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 19 00:35:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4q5l/i_just_want_to_sleep/
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My anxiety is still through the roof despite trying to b/p it away. The only upside to this crap is that I can't keep anything down no matter how hard I try.
Tomorrow my kitchen woes will be solved so I can try to go back to high restriction and exercise, which felt a lot better, but I'm back to that place of "if I eat anything I'll gain weight," which I know isn't true. I have a degree/student loan debt that has informed me otherwise. Shit.
I'm hoping I can just sleep intermittently throughout the day tomorrow if I can't sleep tonight. Argh.
[Other] Do any of you pray?
/u/unpollutedfantasy
Created: Mon Jun 19 00:04:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4lwl/do_any_of_you_pray/
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What do you pray for/about?
[Help] How did I gain if I didn't eat anything?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 23:58:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4l1r/how_did_i_gain_if_i_didnt_eat_anything/
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[deleted]
[Goal] I'm so focused on how my legs cross
/u/ilikereadingyourstuf [F: 5'3 | CW 166 | 29.41]
Created: Sun Jun 18 23:45:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4jdm/im_so_focused_on_how_my_legs_cross/
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So you know how you cross your legs when relaxing? Well, being a junkie binger, I don't... until now.
Now I can, comfortably, and now I can't stop checking it all day. Its like a new super power.
Its like the first time I'm distracted from the scale numbers. Holy cow my knees touch when i cross my legs! Ok, thanks for listening
[Thinspo] I want my hair to be bigger than me too!
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Sun Jun 18 23:00:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4ctr/i_want_my_hair_to_be_bigger_than_me_too/
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https://i.redd.it/gkgovjuqaj4z.jpg
[Other] My body, right now (more in comments)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 22:50:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4b96/my_body_right_now_more_in_comments/
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https://i.redd.it/c5qy51p19j4z.jpg
[Discussion] Living Alone!
/u/vulpixies [5'4" | CW 123 | 24F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 22:38:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i49g0/living_alone/
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Just want to have a quick rave that I was approved for my new apartment by myself! SO excited to wallow in my ED without anyone noticing! Does anyone else live (/lived) by themselves, and if so, have you found it better or worse?
[Discussion] DAE seem not to have that much trouble eating in public?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 22:36:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i4992/dae_seem_not_to_have_that_much_trouble_eating_in/
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I'm anorexic (really EDNOS or whatever it's called now b/c I'm barely underweight, although they changed the criteria so whatever). When I visit my parents, they always take me out to dinner at restaurants because they both hate cooking. And I feel totally fine about eating normal food in public. It's still "disordered" because I tell myself I can just starve and lose all the weight I gained once I leave and get back to my regular every day life, but I almost never have any anxiety about eating in public. I do find that I don't like eating with people who aren't family, though, but it's more uncomfortable/awkward than truly panic-inducing.
I think I'm the only one out of everyone I've ever talked to who has a restrictive ED who feels like this, and to be honest it kinda makes me feel like a fraud. As if Real Anorexics can't bear to eat in public, and if you can do it with no problem you were faking your disorder all along.
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] Acid Techno and No Sleep
/u/sicksadcook [162| 48.9 |19.03 | GW47 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 21:34:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3zkr/rave_acid_techno_and_no_sleep/
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Rave in every sense of the word. I woke up on Friday early and excited like a little kid. After months of not having danced ecstatically I finally entered my long awaited weekend. Now it's monday morning I'm still awake and so satisfied. I went to three different very strong sets and two after hours and have probably danced for a total of 16hours on fast bassy acid industrial techno. I walked a lot in between from one place to the other. I'm just a bit amazed at how much I am attracted to extremes.
This used to be my way to exercise for so many years and also the most efficient one. I used to be lean-thin as fuck. Admittedly a lot of sweating, feeling sticky and humid-hot, smelling of smoke and celebrating all kinds of substances and highs. A faible for quick bass loaded music and a constantly intense dance style only interrupted by going to the toilet or the bar are probably fastening the burning process.
I will integrate it back into my life as it is the most fun, intense and thus the most convincing method for me to exercise.
[Discussion] How do you all feel when you stray from your safe foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 19:57:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3j6m/how_do_you_all_feel_when_you_stray_from_your_safe/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] How can you tell if your hungry or bored?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | C: 110.6 | -27.4 | F | G: 99]
Created: Sun Jun 18 19:49:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3hxl/how_can_you_tell_if_your_hungry_or_bored/
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(topic)
e: you're******
[Humor] The /r/proED Onion
/u/babyslug [5'0 | CW: 83 | 22 | F | 🍑: @babyslug]
Created: Sun Jun 18 19:41:26 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3gjc/the_rproed_onion/
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Hear me out. I somehow ended up on The Onion after years of just not reading it, and just laughed about stupid stuff for twenty minutes instead of stress eating since I [pledged 11 days without bingeing](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hcel3/11_days_i_will_not_binge/dixc4s9/). But it kinda got me thinking about an ED-related version of The Onion and what we'd choose as headlines. Or, if we tailored existing ones.
For example:
- [Local Anorexic, Only Capable Of Crying And Counting Calories, To Be Euthanized](http://www.theonion.com/video/brain-dead-teen-only-capable-of-rolling-eyes-and-t-27225)
This is what I do because all my friends ignore me. 🙃
[Discussion] DAE get super weirded out by sharing food?
/u/questions_anonymous
Created: Sun Jun 18 19:39:44 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3g87/dae_get_super_weirded_out_by_sharing_food/
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This is going to be long and rambly, but basically I'm just wondering if this is a personal idiosyncrasy or an ED-related one: sharing food is almost sickening to me. I'm fine with sharing family-style dishes, like if I make a pan of lasagna and everyone dishes their own out that's no problem, but if it's on my plate and someone asks for a bite, I'll either refuse them or give them the whole thing and not eat anymore. Like there was one time that my sister bought pastries for the family, apparently with the intent that we'd cut them all into quarters so we could all try each kind, and I got upset, so she huffily told me to just take one then, but at that point, I refused because 1) I just couldn't eat it while knowing that she wanted it and 2) I already had the repulsive mental image of it butchered and smooshed and crumby and covered in finger prints.
[Humor] Just ED things
/u/ExtraQueerrestrial
Created: Sun Jun 18 19:39:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3g82/just_ed_things/
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Success, I guess?
When you have a horribly stressful evening and have the urge to binge but all you have is PB2 and low carb 50cal tortillas.
You make a reconstituted pb2 burrito XD
Kind of a good thing since I didn't /actually/ binge, but kinda funny and gross all at the same time.
[Thinspo] Joy Womack (Kremlin Ballet)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 19:29:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3ec1/joy_womack_kremlin_ballet/
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https://i.redd.it/z5o9w5869i4z.jpg
[Thinspo] A compilation of thinspo/fitspo swimsuit pics
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sun Jun 18 19:25:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i3dlu/a_compilation_of_thinspofitspo_swimsuit_pics/
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http://www.asianjunkie.com/2017/04/25/ns-yoon-g-jaekyung-look-ridiculously-hot-while-modeling-barrel-swimwear/
http://www.asianjunkie.com/2017/05/04/ns-yoon-g-jaekyung-additional-photos-released-by-dispatch-from-barrel-shoot/
http://www.asianjunkie.com/2017/05/11/ns-yoon-g-and-jaekyung-modelling-swimwear-for-barrel-now-in-motion/
http://www.asianjunkie.com/2017/06/17/ns-yoon-g-jaekyung-did-another-photoshoot-for-barrel-to-bless-our-eyes/
[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else feel like they are a fake because they don't "follow the rules"..?
/u/siamesealmeidaa [height:5'6" | CW:102lbs | BMI:16.5| weight lost:35lb | gender:F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 18:58:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i38zw/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_are_a_fake/
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Especially on weekends like this when I ate a bunch of shit and now feel terrible, I find myself feeling like I'm a total fake. I'm just going to put all of the weight I've lost back on because I don't have any fucking control. I don't eat "healthy food", I don't watch my nutrition (at least not right now, sometimes I go on "health kicks" but then I remember that I don't HAVE to eat healthy to lose weight...). I have a friend that eats her food with her hands and rips it into tiny pieces, but eats pizza with a fork and knife, and I feel disgusting that I take huge bites or use my hands. I have these weird, fucked up fantasies of always have a water bottle with me and eating enough protein (??) and not surviving just on alpha-fucking-ghetti. I want to eat differently because it's starting to fuck with me, but I feel like that would make me even more of a fraud.
[Rant/Rave] I look at thinspo like some dudes look at porn
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 18:29:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i33u4/i_look_at_thinspo_like_some_dudes_look_at_porn/
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[deleted]
[Help] 🌀looking for good youtube yoga channels🌀
/u/indogyearsimdead [✨ 5'5" | 105 | 17.68 | -51 | F✨]
Created: Sun Jun 18 18:13:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i30mw/looking_for_good_youtube_yoga_channels/
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🌷hey buds🌷 i'm trying to build some muscle / get my body fat down tbh!! i've started walking more and running a little👣, but what yt yoga channels or videos do y'all suggest for non-beginners trying to tone up?
[Rant/Rave] I have gastroparesis (and also chronically over eat)
/u/Reagan_here [5'10 👑 OSFED Princess 👑 ]
Created: Sun Jun 18 17:54:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2xea/i_have_gastroparesis_and_also_chronically_over_eat/
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Gastroparesis means delayed gastric emptying, aka food just sits in my stomach for hours and hours instead of moving onto my small intestine. It comes along with fun side effects like no appetite, vomiting after eating a normal sized meal, severe acid reflux, and here's the kicker "severe pain and nausea when hungry".
I managed to fucking gain weight while having a condition that shuts down my stomach. I binge on such high calorie food that even after I throw up its a huge amount of calories. That mixed with the severe pain that comes along with being hungry means that I was just perpetually eating snacks.
After the first few weeks I learned how to "eat around" my issues, mainly by eating six small meals a day and snacks once an hour. This managed to keep my vomiting to a low, but god damn I gained 30lbs.
I should seriously just stop eating all together, IM NOT EVEN HUNGRY! I can go days without food hunger wise, the pain just gets too severe and I have to eat. My gastrointestologist won't even take me seriously because of my weight gain, does he not understand I'm eating because I hate myself so much and I deserve to be a fat slob???
I'm sorry this rant is really incoherent; TLDR: I have a disorder that literally would make me the perfect anorexic (at the cost of severe pain) but instead I just eat super high calorie foods all day because I'm a compulsive eater.
[Help] Retaining water on EC stack?
/u/ashirun97
Created: Sun Jun 18 17:54:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2x87/retaining_water_on_ec_stack/
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So I'm taking one to two doses of an EC stack a day (1 bronkaid and 1 caffeine pill) and I find that while my appetite is dead, I'm holding onto water like CRAZY. I am so bloated I hate it!! Does this happen to anyone else? I feel like I'm always downing water but is it it enough? How much water should I be drinking?
[Discussion] Does anyone here use your ED as self-harm?
/u/cinnamonbicycle [5'2 | Recovering | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 17:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2sap/does_anyone_here_use_your_ed_as_selfharm/
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Since starting recovery, which entails being forced to eat every few hours (which I appreciate and despise simultaneously), I've been struggling to cope with anxiety and stuff. I've started self-harming to deal with it all. Looking back on my worst days, I think I was using starvation as a form of self-harm. At least some of the time. Does anyone else feel this way? And has anyone found a less destructive way of handling anxiety/stress?
[Discussion] [Help//Discussion] Best bang for your buck?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: anywhere between 103-107 | GW: 99 | UGW: 94 |18.4 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 17:19:01 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2qw3/helpdiscussion_best_bang_for_your_buck/
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Lately I've been really into my eating and exercising being as efficient as possible for the lowest amount of input/effort. So my questions to you guys are:
In your experience, what foods have the best feeling fullness to calories ratio? Which foods have the most nutrients for the fewest calories? And what exercises burn the most calories in the shortest amount of time?
Sorry about the lack of proper flair, on mobile.
[Rant/Rave] This Eating disorder makes me a bad daughter.
/u/sp_600
Created: Sun Jun 18 17:10:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2pe3/this_eating_disorder_makes_me_a_bad_daughter/
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Its fathers day and my dad is sad today.
We were supposed to go kayaking but since i didnt plan it and get everybody going, i didn't happen. today. I didnt notice until now because i have been sleeping/ lounging/ laying about all day. I just had no energy from all this restriction.
I cant stop crying right now thinking about all the relationships that i neglect because I am exhausted. I am only one month into this relapse. I am not even underweight at this point and things are already getting messed up. How much further am I going to drop.
[Rant/Rave] Rant and rave about weight loss
/u/theobeseana [5'7"|CW168|HW206|GW114|she/her/hers]
Created: Sun Jun 18 16:47:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2l1z/rant_and_rave_about_weight_loss/
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Rave: So last night my SO told me that his best friend mentioned I looked like I had lost weight. I've probably lost 25 pounds since I'd seen his friend last, so it felt so damn good to hear that.
Rant is that my SO literally said "congrats, good work". Now this fucker knows that I was purging for a couple months. He knows I'm afraid of food. I don't think he has any clue how low my intake really is but knows I meticulously count everything. Like holy shit you're going to tell me good work??
[Rant/Rave] ED thought were an unexpected, uhhh.... "side effect"?
/u/EmpressAdrianne [🦄5'10"|CW167|GW 💀|SW225|F🦄]
Created: Sun Jun 18 16:20:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2g09/ed_thought_were_an_unexpected_uhhh_side_effect/
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TL;DR: finally addressing my gender dysphoria has opened up a can of ED worms that I did not expect.
I always hated my size, but for many years did nothing about it. I'd just eat my feelings on heaping plates of food, all the while wishing I was built different than I was. I hated being "stocky". I hated having a round tummy and large arms & shoulders. I hated eating like an animal, but was too depressed to even make an effort to change in any capacity. I felt like the larger I was, the more worthless of a person I was.
Then at the beginning of last year, I *finally* came out as trans. That's a whole other set of body image issues, so I won't go into the obvious there. But I did not expect that somehow along the way, my struggles would ever include anything resembling an ED.
The first 5-6 months of 2016, I quickly dropped 50 pounds. I suddenly was eating a lot less, and was unconsciously restricting. I became genuinely embarrassed of some foods that I'd eat, and looking back found that I was hiding my larger meals from friends and family. I wasn't aiming to do so, it just happened. And I started to care what the scale said, *a lot*. I never had before (at least not enough to go buy scales so I could now obsess over weight daily). I now balk at the days I exceed ~600 calories and binges are just more self-hate manifested in food.
I beat myself up over my weight and build more than ever before. My bones will forever keep me in that "inverted triangle" category where I'd rather be a rectangle or pear shape because I only ever think of men as true I.T.'s.
My stomach isn't flat enough. My hips and legs seem all wrong. I want to tear the remaining muscles from my upper body and rearrange my bones to have a thinner ribcage and arms. I feel like a 38" band size is huge when there's women my size at 34" and 36". I'm tall, and I feel gigantic next to other women with my larger hands and height.
I wish "petite" was a word that could ever describe me. It never will. I wish I was frail and thin and fragile.
I've spent almost all my savings on surgeries to change my body. For a smaller nose. Better cheekbones. A thinner neck and defined jawline. I am going completely broke over these obsessions.
I have a consult for breast augmentation in 3 weeks. They've already told me that because of my broad ribcage and height, only larger implants will look correct on my frame. "Amazonian" sounds like a nice way to refer to tall women, but all I think of myself is "behemoth". And the thought of adding a few pounds (weight of implants) because it's the only way to get a correct body image is really bothering me.
I knew the gender dysphoria was going to be a struggle, but never expected that body dysmorphic disorder would come into play and escalate to ED thoughts and habits.
I don't know what's real and what is my brain being an asshole to me when I look at myself. I don't know what I am or how I appear to others. I feel like everyone else sees the horrible things I see in myself and I never want to be out in public longer than I have to because I can't stand anyone looking at me for any reason. I can't even trust my own judgement enough to tell myself that anything is okay.
This sub is the only place where anyone is kind to me (the trans subs are really catty and judgmental), and although some of this mentions issues outside of the ED topics, I've only really been focused on food and restricting and my weight for a while now. If you've read this far thanks for at least hearing me out, I guess I just needed to get this off my chest because there's really no other place I feel it is safe for me to do so.
[Rant/Rave] Music festival
/u/l0seme [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.58 | -20 | UGW 110 | 21F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 15:49:52 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i2a6r/music_festival/
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So I'm going to a big big music festival on Wednesday. I'm incredibly excited (I went last year and it was the best week of my year) but also scared. Since last year, my self esteem has plummeted and I'm just terrified of looking awful.
I wanted to be 120lbs (I've mentioned this in a previous post) but then a couple of weeks ago realised that wouldn't happen and so I set myself a secondary goal of 125lbs which I've reached (hoping I haven't gone up this weekend while I've been at my parents'.)
So whilst I'm like at least 10lbs lighter than I was at last year's, I feel much worse. I feel huge and squishy and flabby and ugh. I want to wear tiny shorts and maybe even a bikini top and look dainty and sexy and pretty but I'll look gross. I'm going with my best friend who is teeny tiny perfect and my SO who wants me to "go wild". Also his ex is going to be there (although I doubt we'll see her haha the place is massive but if we DO see her I want to be in my sexiest outfit and look incredible and I just WON'T.)
The upside I guess is that we'll be doing miles and miles of walking, and not eating much. But also lots of alcohol. Idk I just want to get out of my head and enjoy it :(
[Other] Goodbye
/u/fatty937 [16M, ~50 lbs down]
Created: Sun Jun 18 15:30:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i26cs/goodbye/
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I've realized I've not thrown/spat my food up for a month or two, as I've realized I'm just wasting money. Earlier this year I was chewing and spitting almost daily, I've even tried self vomiting (which hurt like crazy, so I stopped).
I don't think this is the right sub for me, as I think I've beaten the issues I had, and there is no content from guys on this sub. Goodbye and cheers.
[Humor] Almost died during a binge lol
/u/i_have_daddy_issues [5'4" | 125.0 | GW1: 120 | GW2: 115 | F |]
Created: Sun Jun 18 14:57:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i1zzd/almost_died_during_a_binge_lol/
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As soon as I came home from my boyfriend's house, I was desperate to binge since I haven't in a week. So I was starting to eat chocolate and peanut butter (by the spoonfuls) and for some reason, my brain thought it would be a great idea to injest HEAPING spoonfuls of peanut butter without having any sort of liquid. So here I am, shoveling peanut butter into my mouth and it slowly starts to build up like plaque in my throat and I realize it is getting difficult to swallow. I'm trying to swallow the peanut butter but it's a BALL in my throat and I have no saliva in my mouth. The pain increased and I run to get a glass of water, but at this point I can't even breathe. I try pouring water down my throat, but literally no water is getting past the ball of peanut butter. So I start flailing around in my kitchen, thinking "wow, I literally am about to die from binging on peanut butter" for a good twenty seconds. Then from some miraculous human body defense mechanism, the big glop of peanut butter slowly starts to fall and I am able to breathe and drink water to allow the rest of it to move down.
and then i proceeded to sit down and catch my breathe and think how i almost died. and then i started to binge again hahhahhaha nice!
moral of the story, don't consume glops of peanut butter because it will clog your airways.
Vacation
/u/Skinnyemogir
Created: Sun Jun 18 14:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i1vdt/vacation/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Nightmares about food?
/u/tjking333 [5'3ft 💮 CW:128lb 💮 BMI:22 💮 -40lb 💮 GW:100 💮 21F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 14:32:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i1v04/nightmares_about_food/
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I rarely ever have nightmares, but whenever I do they are always about me binging like crazy. I had a particularly realistic one last night where I ate an entire case of donuts without even noticing until I was on the last one. 😓
Scary stuff.
[Rant/Rave] Who wants to live forever?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Sun Jun 18 14:15:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i1rnx/who_wants_to_live_forever/
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On mobile so flair as rant/rave.
This ED changed me or maybe it just brought out who I was all along.
I can't look at myself the same nor humanity. I don't see people like I used to. I see fat. I see disease. I see empty vessels and people who will smile while they steal and stab you in the back who expect the courtesy of a thank you.
Binging gives me a high like drugs used to. Drinking gives me distraction from all the thoughts and paranoia. Everyone hates me and if they don't they don't know me well enough.
I stroll the aisles of the grocery store with my sugar free energy drink clasped in my fingers. Eying every passerby from toes to head. "Disgusting" I say to myself. I will never be like that.
Sometimes I fall victim to human desires. Kids. Being married. A family and a career but in the same breath I would rather die then live as an empty vessel. To be fat is a fate worse than death in my mind and that's not the worst part.
I am fat. No matter what I will never be happy with body nor how I look. Every mirror will tell me I am not good enough.
It used to be a shallow desire to want to be seen as desirable for people to want to be with me. It's beyond that now and has been for a while.
I want to be in control of my body. I want to court death and tempt them only to be taken forcefully. Depression is bad but I think indifference is worse. I know suicide is frown upon so instead I'm careless. I. Do. Not. Care. Anymore.
I don't care if I am desired anymore or seen as attractive. I let that ship sail and watched it sink. My body is damaged beyond repair and there is no redemption even if I get to my goal weight I'll forever have to hide behind clothes because of all the loose skin and I won't pay for surgery because I wasn't born to the right caste in society.
It's ironic that on father's day of all days I feel these things so strongly. I am not thankful for my parents. I don't feel love and don't desire and affection. It wasn't there when I grew up so it will forever feel foreign and forced.
I can keep this up. Maybe it will end eventually. I can't give up and just be a fat empty vessel like the caricatures in Wall-E. If that is where humanity is going I refused to be part of it. I relinquish my humanity card.
End me because I can't do it myself.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] Well... I did it.
/u/sp_600
Created: Sun Jun 18 14:13:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i1rcr/well_i_did_it/
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I ate 800 cal. Ish. I cheated a bit and left some on my plate and overestimated and rounded up.
This morning I told myself I HAD to eat. I am starting a job tomorrow where it just isnt safe for me to be faint from hunger.
Feels bad but also good.
[Rant/Rave] Creepy dude set me off...
/u/mmahmotivation14 [5'7" | CW: 124.4 | BMI: 19.42 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 13:15:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i1flz/creepy_dude_set_me_off/
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This didn't ruin my night (thank god), but last night I met a dude that just gave me creep vibes right from the start. I got a couple of those "up and down" looks that made me want to disappear, and made some choice "false machismo" comments that normally I'd eye roll at or take pity in, but it just made me feel anxious. Then, before going on stage for a show, we all did our "got your back" ritual, which is usually a tap on the back or a hug... He went for the hug (I'm a hugger so not entirely off but also, new person, not entirely cool) and just lingered a little too long...
I proceeded to shake it off and enjoy the rest of my night out, but on my way home it hit hard. I didn't go to sleep until maybe 6 and woke up at 830. I haven't even thought about touching food. Although the lack of appetite is working in my favor, I'm annoyed at this point with this amount of anxiety. Like, just a dude that's probably super insecure. I could totally take his ass (I'm scrappy and from the Northeast :P). I was in a really safe space. Why the hell did it make me this anxious?
Thank God I have good friends that help sort my shit out. But fuck, this is annoying.
[Humor] When you tell the only friend that you can joke about your ED with that you're recovering
/u/Polski_lesbian [5'2.5 | 138 | Q]
Created: Sun Jun 18 12:08:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i12f3/when_you_tell_the_only_friend_that_you_can_joke/
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http://i.imgur.com/n08A8NO.jpg
[Discussion] Self-help options
/u/60785049
Created: Sun Jun 18 11:19:22 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i0soq/selfhelp_options/
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Since I've managed to gain nearly 50 lbs in the past year due to a combination of BED, stress, antidepressants, and general safe hatred, I'm at the point where I really need to start working on things no matter how fucked up life and my emotions are. Does anyone have any resources they recommend to read up on for self-treatment, mainly for binge eating or body dysmorphic disorder? I won't have the opportunity to get professional treatment or change my meds for a while, so I hope that this was I'll be able to mitigate or reverse some of the damage weight wise.
So far I've read:
Brain Over Binge,
4 Day Win,
Overcoming Binge Eating
And right now I'm reading The Broken Mirror and listening to the podcast Binge Dieting by Betsy Thurston (which I highly recommend)
And if anyone has some success stories of self treatment I would really appreciate them, things are feeling really fucking hopeless.
[Discussion] What is this sub to you?
/u/throwawayyolonot
Created: Sun Jun 18 10:50:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i0n08/what_is_this_sub_to_you/
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This place has oddly grown on me and I find myself lurking here and commenting a lot. I hope that this place never ever becomes somewhere that promotes eating disorders but continue to show ED as it really is-raw, sometimes empowering while many times painful, a cry for help, an attempt to grasp control and power and all the roller coasters of up and downs in between. Sometimes it's all about the weight, other times it's not about that at all.
Recovery is hard because it means that I'll have to face myself without my ED. This place feels like home to me. Hbu?
[Rant/Rave] "ED or Me?"
/u/AccaliaOmg [5'3 | 112| 19.7 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 10:46:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i0mam/ed_or_me/
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"So what will it be ED or me?"
Me: "......... you" (why not both? )
"Okay, good, it'll be good for you to recover. I'm tired of hearing you talk about it . . . *Oh also it's not healthy"
:I
No shit it's not healthy. Okay, maybe you're tired of it as I've ranted to you like seven times; try living with it day in and day out. This happened like a week ago but I'm still thinking about it. I'm in a LDR and he's coming next Friday- I wanna be thinner by the time he comes.
I can't live without my ED, but I know for sure who I will absolutely never talk about it again with lol.
EDIT; He intended no harm, and he's an amazing boyfriend & I love him so much but it's just ... Ugh 🙄
[Discussion] What was one thing your parents said to you that may not have been a big deal, but they will never know how much it affected you?
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 139.8 | 21.03 | -10.2 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 10:44:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i0lz2/what_was_one_thing_your_parents_said_to_you_that/
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I saw this post on r/AskReddit and I figured it would be interesting to hear all of your responses here without the worry of random people messaging you about your ED. I'll start first, when I was in grade 7(?)ish, I ate whatever I wanted and I was still stick skinny but unfortunately I began to grow up. I still ate the same way and I began gaining a bit of weight but I didn't notice. One day my mom and dad sat me down and told me I was on the road to getting chubby and that I needed to be careful with what I ate and exercise more. Clearly the rest is history of a downward spiral to ED Land 😅
[Help] I need to buy new scales (Amazon UK)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 10:38:29 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i0kpd/i_need_to_buy_new_scales_amazon_uk/
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Hi,
The scales that I'm currently using are really bad so I'm looking to buy a new one. This has mostly good reviews:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Etekcity-Precision-Technology-Electronic-Backlight/dp/B016QN8QDM/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1497803200&sr=8-3&keywords=body+scales
I'm wondering if any of you have experience with it or if there's a better alternative?
[Humor] Wow my fav sushi place is so thoughtful .
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 10:36:21 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i0kav/wow_my_fav_sushi_place_is_so_thoughtful/
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https://i.redd.it/juvj2fp3mf4z.jpg
[Thinspo] Thinspo By Body Type
/u/fruitandfood
Created: Sun Jun 18 10:36:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i0k92/thinspo_by_body_type/
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So, I mentioned thinspo by body type in a comment and there was some interest so I put together some small albums I thought I would share!
[Inverted traingle](http://imgur.com/a/MOrf5) so hips are narrower than shoulders
[Rectangle](http://imgur.com/a/1zCDI) so hips are same width as shoulders but with a less defined waist
[Pear](http://imgur.com/a/qtlBC) so hips are wider than shoulders
[Apple](http://imgur.com/a/MQHAo) so wide torso and shoulders without a defined waist
[Hourglass](http://imgur.com/a/l1yof) so hips and shoulders are same width with a defined waist
And not a body type but [hip dips](http://imgur.com/a/Xx2aq) which can occur along with any body shape
[Discussion] Nervous for family boat trip/ your stories of family noticing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 09:12:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6i04k5/nervous_for_family_boat_trip_your_stories_of/
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[deleted]
[Help] How to burn 1000+ calories in like 10 minutes????
/u/CANT_CATCH_ME [5'7.5 | CW 133.5 | -7 | GW 115 | 18 F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 08:34:15 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hzxov/how_to_burn_1000_calories_in_like_10_minutes/
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Obvs joking about the 10 minutes thing.
Binged over 1000 calories at like 4am. Can't eat anything for the rest of the day if I wanna stay under my calorie limit, which tbh is prob doable esp if I run, but father's day is a thing so there will be food involved in my day.
I reeeeaaaallllly wanted to eat below maintenance / keep restricting. I've been doing so well and I technically didn't fuck up yet if I don't eat today, BUT IM GOING TO WANT/HAVE TO!!! AGH.
best way to burn calories in not like 5 hours long of exercise? Pls help.
Update: aaaannnnddd I had oatmeal, pizza, and green beans. Yay for binging *plskillme*
[Help] YouTube is the source of my excess eating
/u/forestfloorpool [✶170cm • bmi18.3 • gbmi17.3 • 24f✶]
Created: Sun Jun 18 08:00:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hzrx1/youtube_is_the_source_of_my_excess_eating/
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I have finally realised why I end up eating unnecessarily - YouTube. I end up watching mukbangs, particularly Trisha Paytas and Nikoavocado. They always make me want to each for the mechanical aspect, not hunger. I won't even realise I'm doing it until I've eaten! Likewise for recovery accounts, which seek to focus on the act of eating.
I love YouTube, I watch it daily so I would like some accounts that satisfy the trashy urge without the desire to binge. I already watch the major accounts, kind of hoping to find someone who'll either directly or indirectly fuel my desire to eat less. Is that even possible? I have already binged through the ED documentaries and shows.
[Rant/Rave] Wish I didn't understand nutrition
/u/foodfornot [5'3" | CW 122 | LW 111 | | HW 142 | 26F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 07:56:41 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hzrd2/wish_i_didnt_understand_nutrition/
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Anyone else find it was easier to restrict as a kid? I remember counting calories when I was 12. I'd go all day eating nothing but a cinnamon sugar pretzel and a cookie. It was easy.
Now that I'm in my twenties I understand the importance of protein, iron, calcium, fiber, omega-3, healthy fats for absorption... and I fucking hate it! It's not the "health" aspect, it's how your health impacts your looks. I know some aren't driven by looks, it's about control, but my appearance is on my mind all the time. I want to control my appearance and look beautiful.
I want to be thin but I also want glowing skin, long lustrous hair, healthy teeth, good posture. I'm feeling old (late twenties bleghh) and I don't want to fall apart. I wish I could restrict by eating just an easy mac and 500 cal of candy but when I log that in MFP and check the nutrients I'm like oh fuck, is my hair gonna fall out? Better eat some sardines, eggs, kale... and how old are those tortilla wraps?... now I'm bingeing. Man, this sucks.
Edit for typos
[Rant/Rave] My parents keep so much food in the house
/u/imnevergold [170 | CW 55 | GW 47 | F |]
Created: Sun Jun 18 07:12:20 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hzkjf/my_parents_keep_so_much_food_in_the_house/
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My parents are always constantly stocking the food in the house. Most of it is super healthy. They'll buy like three boxes of mangos or a shit ton of potatoes, but I'm a disgusting pig and I can't control myself around food. So if there are 10 mangoes I'll probably eat like 5 in one sitting and that's 1500+ calories right there. The worst part is that when they see I've finished eating all the mangoes, they'll go out and buy more. I know they're only being good parents, but it just makes me so mad. I don't want anything in the fridge. Seeing all the food makes me so overwhelmed and I end up just eating it all :(
[Rant/Rave] Everything is a lie and I want to cry
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Sun Jun 18 06:43:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hzg8l/everything_is_a_lie_and_i_want_to_cry/
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On mobile so flair as rant/rave
I bought a new we digital scale a few days ago and then binged so I wasn't sure about my actually weight.
According to my analog scale I've been using consistently for months I weight between 163lbs and 165lbs which wasn't great but then I binged and it went up to 170 or so and I binged again and didn't even bother to weigh myself.
I haven't had a bm since either Binge and felt super bloated for the past two to three days (sorry for tmi).
I took more laxatives last night because I'm fucking dumb and thought it might finally push things through. It has just given me more stomach pains.
So I randomly weigh myself side by side on the analog and digital scale one after another. Still no bm in days mind you.
Analog scale: 163 to 165 it goes higher depending on where my feet are.
Digital scale: 168.8...
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
That's like a 4 to 5 difference and a part of me is hoping I'm just literally and figuratively full of shit and this isn't really. I fast 8 days. Then binged for 2 days.
3500 calories on day one which would have been like 2000 over my TDEE or so
Maybe 3000 at most on day two so another 1500 to 2000 over my TDEE so maybe I gained one pound from binging two days.
So my math must be fucked and everything is just fucked.
So I want to cry and hurt myself and I'm lying in bed in physical agony listening to Elliott Smith.
Looks like I need to fast even hard. I was on track to be at 150 by the first week of July and here I am just fucked!
Willow.
Please less this be literal and figurative shit..m
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 18, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jun 18 06:11:47 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hzcan/daily_food_diary_june_18_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 18, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jun 18 06:10:49 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hzc5p/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Help] Someone please help me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 05:44:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hz8wr/someone_please_help_me/
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[deleted]
Does anybody else stalk proed users?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Jun 18 04:45:24 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hz21v/does_anybody_else_stalk_proed_users/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] [rant] on waking up
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3 | 86]
Created: Sun Jun 18 04:13:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hyyoc/rant_on_waking_up/
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I am so so sorry to only participate via crisis ranting these days. I don't know where else I can say these things.
I spent May and June making the biggest mistake yet in the ongoing two-year derailment of my life—I had finally given up struggling, being sad about losing/wasting/throwing away interests and passion and will, friends and mentors and lovers, money and things, self-care, a vision of a future, everything—and I chose to come back. My schedule for the last year: wake up at four, eat pills, go to work. Throw up nothing all day, come home at ten, eat pills, pass out. Sleep for four or five hours and do it again. But really I was asleep all the time, so numb eventually that I stopped caring about or even noticing each new low, the life I wanted to have—should have had—did have for the first fifteen years of adulthood —put away and almost forgotten, just another thing that no longer fit. I felt calm and quiet, with a weird acceptance that I was using myself up and someday soon there would be nothing left at all.
And then this man came along; it was completely unexpected and shocking how quickly I thawed and responded, bursting into cliched bloom. It was also completely stupid, the kind of stupid I haven't touched since I was a kid, and it's over now that I know—he's gone back to his wife, but I'm left horribly, sickeningly awake again. I'm on fire with guilt and regret and self-loathing; I can't even comfort myself with the thought that he took advantage of me—he's actually younger than I am, just a barely-adult with bad impulse control and dubious integrity. And I'm an idiot who chose to wake up when I was finally peacefully, almost comfortably, dreaming.
No one but me had seen me naked in over a year; I tried to remember how to take care of myself in pathetic little wounded-bird hops—buying moisturizer, a razor, vitamins. Tried to drink water, to get real sleep and some sunshine. Tacitly, tangentially starting to acknowledge that maybe this awful period would end someday and that maybe I would still be here.
You're so tiny, he said to me the first time, I love it, he said. The second time, touching my hip bones, holding my shoulder blades in his palms, he said he had never been so aware of someone's aliveness, said it was trying to get out of my skin. I feel like I'm going to break you open, he said the last time. I didn't know it was the last time then, though I think he did. There was nothing else to say after that.
I hadn't talked, thought, felt anything in months. Now I feel everything, even hunger. The worst thing of all: it was so hard to become almost-dead, and now I know I wasn't really, was ready to come back to life at the slightest provocation. It's going to be so much harder now to go back, to believe what I tell myself, to fall asleep again. I don't even know what I'm trying to say or do with this—get it out and leave it behind, purge, I guess. Back to it.
[Other] "Surreptitious vomiting" - don't know why I laughed so hard. ED thoughts in medschool.
/u/backpackcats88 [5'7 | CW 120lb | 18.6 | GW105 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 04:09:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hyy9o/surreptitious_vomiting_dont_know_why_i_laughed_so/
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http://imgur.com/a/2Z0VS
[Rant/Rave] I undo all my progress on the weekend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 18 03:16:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hystc/i_undo_all_my_progress_on_the_weekend/
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[deleted]
[Goal] Back in the 60's!!
/u/liliannereid [170 cm | CW: 67.6 kg | SW: 78.1 kg | UGW: 58.5-60.5 kg | 25F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 02:25:23 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hyni5/back_in_the_60s/
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Weighed in at 69,9 kg this morning. I feel like shit after what I ate (and didn't eat) yesterday though and also I feel a bit depressed that the scale controls me to the point it does. but at the same time I feel happy that I'm at this weight. I feel like I can relate to myself again, in some weird way. I'm almost halfway to my UGW and I'm going to start looking good before that so yay for happy times :-)
I'm going home for a few days to see my family though so I'm a little worried as last time I gained a little, and I want to keep losing.
[Discussion] LOOSE SKIN
/u/antkings [20.1 | plant boy]
Created: Sun Jun 18 01:51:34 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hyk19/loose_skin/
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anyone else here come from being an overweight/obese kid ???? I was overweight my whole life until about 3 years ago. Now I have "loose skin": basically, my tummy looks like a frowny face right above my belly button and is super saggy right before my private areas. My arm skin is all bunched up in places. Basically, I look a flabby 5 to 10 lbs heavier than any weight I reach. I will truly never look good without a shirt on. I feel like this is a big factor in my continuing ED as well as BDD. Does anyone know a true way to reduce loose skin? :(
[Discussion] Losing teeth without purging?
/u/vkomova [5'11 | ugh | ugh | ugh | F]
Created: Sun Jun 18 01:26:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hyhfo/losing_teeth_without_purging/
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I have this terrible irrational phobia of all my teeth falling out or having to get my teeth extracted (totally unrelated to any ED behaviors). I don't purge, I just restrict, but I heard somewhere that long-term restriction can lead to tooth decay. Is that something that only happens with really severe cases after years and years of anorexia, or is it more common?
(Not that knowing my teeth could rot out of my head would stop me from restricting, but I'd just like to know what the odds are, how long people severely restrict before it starts to take THAT toll on their teeth, etc. I guess I'd just like to know what I'm up against?)
[Rant/Rave] Well fuck me I had alcohol again and technically ruined my fast.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Sun Jun 18 00:48:28 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hydb2/well_fuck_me_i_had_alcohol_again_and_technically/
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On mobile flair as rant/rave
So my coworker and I close Saturday and Sunday night together and are both on the same wavelength as far as disordered eating goes.
They have a habit of sneaking premixed cocktails from the prep kitchen/server area when on their break so tonight the treat was belini with some fruit.
We shared a could maybe 8 Oz cups or so over the course of the last hour and they Invited me to a party to but I was already worried about the sugar and calories from the belinis we had drank.
Fuck my ED brain. I can't be social or go out because I worry about calories in everything. Still no bm. Still in moderate abdominal pain from laxatives that haven't fucking done anything.
I might drink with them tomorrow night after work but then it will be maybe two drinks nursed over a couple hours.
I am just pissed. Why can't alcohol be calorie free? And ice cream? If I could eat ice cream and cookies and lose a fuck ton of weight I'd be fucking set.
Just fuck not being able to have friend or a social life because I am afraid of eating or gaining more weight.
I am trying to plan a 500 to 1000 calorie binge day if I make it through this week and next week or work.
I feel like small cheat days might help my sanity why fasting.
So there is my rant rave
I am alone and don't really want to be social if it keeps me from my fucked up goals.
Willow
[Goal] 10 days binge free!
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Sun Jun 18 00:38:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hyc52/10_days_binge_free/
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So I've been running my food diary for 10 days now. I've reached my first GW yesterday (on my birthday too) and have not binged at all. Not even one meal that wasn't planned. This is the first time in a while that I'm in some what in control of myself. Even my cravings are down. My next GW is only 5kg away and that doesn't seems that scary anymore, I can do this!
How are you all doing? If you're here to fight off a bingey mood like I often do, let me just tell you - you don't need it, you just want it.Go do something else and if you are still craving something after a while, go eat some high protein food and wait it out. Trust me, protein helped me out a lot these days!
[Rant/Rave] fuck relationships
/u/antkings [20.1 | plant boy]
Created: Sat Jun 17 23:50:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hy6mv/fuck_relationships/
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was having a REALLY good day-- first day raw vegan!!! :D ----until my girlfriend was supposed to pick me up from work, and I was sitting outside in the thunderstorm and she didn't show. my co-worker gave me a ride home, and then my girlfriend texted me saying she was going to come pick me up, WASTED as fuck. she was too drunk to even text properly. she knows I have VERY traumatic experiences with drunk people and drunk people driving me and CAN'T be around that. anyways when I tell her I'm already home she asks if I can come walk all the way back and drive her home because she going to cry because she was going to drive to my work and then make me drive her home and now she's stuck at this party. I'm trying to help her out emotionally but also thinking "fuck you, you got yourself into this situation and you fucked me over." and she starts telling me how she's going to just drink more to prevent crying and I'm. so triggered by the whole thing and now I'm stress eating veggie chips and guac and hot sauce fml I want to break up with her but I'm a pussy ass piece of shit
[Help] How to stop chewing and spitting?
/u/Brickly2017 [5'7" | CW118/GW115 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 22:53:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hxz5n/how_to_stop_chewing_and_spitting/
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Hey all,
I'm at a point where my C&S habits are costing me way too much $$. It's the most horrifying habit but I can't seem to stop. How can I stop? I seem to do it just based on cravings and not actually being hungry, like it seems to be emotional.
[Discussion] Bought fiber tonight
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Sat Jun 17 21:17:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hxl0o/bought_fiber_tonight/
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Please tag discussion.
I bought some tonight bc I want to be healthy about pooping 😂
How many of y'all use it? Just wondering what thoughts are on it.
[Rant/Rave] living with my parents for the summer before grad school -- way harder than I wanted it to be
/u/loosecorks [5'2.5 | ugw 100 | 22f | veggie]
Created: Sat Jun 17 21:12:31 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hxkce/living_with_my_parents_for_the_summer_before_grad/
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My mom is where I got my sweet tooth from. I'm lucky enough to live by the beach in a small apartment with my parents after years of being estranged from them. Just so happened to time up with my studies for the GREs and my break from work.
She's always buying ice cream, sweets, chocolate, what hahe you. I restrict all day and eat maybe ~200 cal because my Prozac also suppresses my appetite. Then we all get stoned and I eat/binge about 1k calories. I think I've only been averaging around 1300-1400, but I know I can go to bed with 800 left at 10pm... but I eat anyway.
I still feel bad today for eating, even though I swam for 5 hours. And I think I should feel bad about it. I'm just so sick of constantly obsessing over food when I think I'm doing ok in the morning!
Ugh. I just needed to write this all out.
[Help] (somewhat accidental) clif bar mono
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 20:16:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hxbqm/somewhat_accidental_clif_bar_mono/
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[deleted]
[Thinspo] Lily Rose Depp is everything I want to be
/u/fatpieceofshiteTA
Created: Sat Jun 17 20:07:56 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hxabu/lily_rose_depp_is_everything_i_want_to_be/
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https://i.redd.it/bdymu5x6bb4z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Rant and question abt periods
/u/efsaneh [🌹 5'2'' || CW:122 || GW:95? || 23 🌹]
Created: Sat Jun 17 19:11:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hx1bo/rant_and_question_abt_periods/
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I went to the supermarket for my weekly grocery shopping, and the first thing i do whenever i go is use the scale, except i forgot that i was on my period and horribly bloated. It messed up my mood for the whole day. I'm okay now tho, just wanted to rant a bit.
Also I know a lot of us have irregular periods but does anyone get too many periods sometimes? (on mobile, pls flair this as rant)
[Rant/Rave] i'll try restricting, that's a good trick
/u/katieb00p [5'0" | F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 18:53:55 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwyii/ill_try_restricting_thats_a_good_trick/
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i'm flying out of state in september to visit family. while i'm there i'm prooooobably going to end up seeing my rapists. everyone's expecting me to go so i have to be there. wow what a good time for a relapse!
my fucking sister keeps texting me "fun" shit to do while we're there. like, i'm glad you're excited to see everyone and i get that you don't know what happened to me, but can you please just leave me the fuck alone and stop reminding me what i'm going to have to deal with while i'm there?
i don't want to do this. i really don't want to do this. but i'm weak.
[Rant/Rave] body image & retail sizing
/u/dontthinkineedyou [🌱 5'4 | F | GW: 107 🌻]
Created: Sat Jun 17 18:41:18 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwwh2/body_image_retail_sizing/
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With inconsistent sizes, garment tolerance, different rises/cuts/fabrics, and vanity sizing (oh boy!), how does *anyone* have a coherent sense of their physical body?? My FAVORITE thing is when I go to a store that supposedly vanity sizes and their sizing guide betrays me in the worst way. I go according to their guide and I actually have to size up because it doesn’t fit right. Cue immediate drama and body angst. And then I remember that this brand is notorious for running very big, so I’m actually even BIGGER than this???🙃🙃🙃🙃
I shouldn’t attach a moral value to the sizes I can fit in, but it’s like I literally have no frame of reference for understanding how I occupy physical space. I can’t trust sizes because they’re inconsistent, my own measurements are apparently meaningless, and I can’t even compare myself to other women. People who look like me can wear smaller sizes than I can, even people who look bigger than me can wear the same or smaller. I am apparently so much bigger than I feel.
It just drives my motivation to get as small as possible. I don’t think I even have to worry about it because even when I *feel* small, I probably won’t be!
[Other] Alcohol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 18:37:59 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwvww/alcohol/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Shopping while weight restored
/u/taiteisnotcool
Created: Sat Jun 17 18:19:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwsve/shopping_while_weight_restored/
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1. After gaining about 4kgs my boobs have gone back to the usual 32dd which at 15 is horrible because that equals 0 cute bathing suits that don't make me look like I'm trying to show off everything
2. My hips have gotten so "soft" I guess that I'm now a medium in bathing suit bottoms and underwear
3. I'm up to a loose size 4 in jeans and jeans skirts
4. My tiny "works out 5 times a week" mother who I'm now bigger than trying to reassure me that I'm still skinny 100 times
[Rant/Rave] Massively over-ate three days in a row... I hate myself
/u/boxxfive [5'4" | CW: 125 | GW: 110 | -13]
Created: Sat Jun 17 17:58:51 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwp91/massively_overate_three_days_in_a_row_i_hate/
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Title says it all. I feel disgusting and out of control and so very hopeless.
The day before yesterday I ended up eating a bunch of random crap and going over maintenance. Then yesterday I planned to eat at under 500 to make up for it, failed, and ate a ton of crap again... and to make matters worse my sweet and well-meaning husband brought me a box of nice chocolates for our anniversary... and I ate them all. A one pound box.
Today we went to a music festival and I ate two funnel cakes loaded with caramel sauce and whipped cream (TWO, what the hell is wrong with me) then we stopped at Burger King on the way home and I got mac-n-cheetos (delicious) and a Lucky Charms shake (tasted just okay, waste of calories.)
I'm going to go exercise right after I post this but it feels like spitting in the wind. I want to do a three day fast, it would wipe the slate clean, and thinking of achieving it makes me feel so good, but it also feels like it's all up to chance... some days I can fast fairly easily, but other days I'm a piggy who can't stop shoveling food in my mouth.
I'm going on a beach vacation in a few days and I'd hoped to at least lose a couple pounds, my swimsuit is a bit tight... but instead I've gained. Why am I this way? Why can't I just eat nice healthy normal portions and not obsess over food and treats and stuffing my face?
[Discussion] Is anyone older?
/u/Endogirl823
Created: Sat Jun 17 17:47:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwne6/is_anyone_older/
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I'm turning 27 in a month and I'm horribly depressed about it. I'm not even close to where I thought I would be in life. Every time I go back to school, my crazy kicks in and I end up failing. I've been dealing with this for 13 long, exhausting years and now when I go for help there's like nothing available. U of M (go blue!) has a cut off of 24 for their eating disorder program and I'm just kind of frustrated. I'm also embarrassed to still be dealing with it. Anyone else kind of going through the same thing?
Edit: I'm not a clear person.
[Rant/Rave] Went outside, now feeling like shit [rant]
/u/stickbuggy [6'1.5" | 193lb | 23.9 | -57lb | F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 17:43:46 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwmph/went_outside_now_feeling_like_shit_rant/
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I've been really darn good with restriction today. And then I went out with my mom and saw all of these skinny women just existing and now I'm having an anxiety attack while I sit here scrutinizing my body.
I don't feel like I'm ever going to reach my GW or lose any more weight even though I've eaten at a large deficit. And I don't even know how I'm going to exist outside knowing that I'll always be the biggest person in the room.
I was so excited to be doing so well with restriction today but my moms making a salad for dinner with like 500cal per serving and bread which is just too much!! I feel like a freak for being so obsessed with numbers but I can't help it!
And I feel so bloated and ugly and disgusting but I don't know if any of this will change anything anyways. It all feels so pointless and I mean, if it won't help, why not just pig out on pizza? Not like I'd even be able to stomach more than one piece, haha (kill me). Ahhhhhhhhh please convince me that I'm not completely insane. :)
[Rant/Rave] Juice is not healthy it's literally sugar
/u/what-a-sneakysnake
Created: Sat Jun 17 17:25:38 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwjor/juice_is_not_healthy_its_literally_sugar/
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like why would i drink juice wtf??? Apparently I'm "not getting enough calcium" because I stopped drinking milk
JUICE IS NOT A REPLACEMENT FOR MILK
He literally tried to give me FRUIT PUNCH it's not healthy it's SUGAR i'm so done
on an unrelated note i feel dizzy haha can someone tell the earth to stop spinning thanks
[Rant/Rave] Can someone explain this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 17:08:13 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwgi2/can_someone_explain_this/
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[deleted]
[Discussion] So I'm wasting my calories on alcohol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 17:08:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwggz/so_im_wasting_my_calories_on_alcohol/
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[deleted]
[Humor] IM SORRY THIS IS SO TMI BUT WHAT THE FUCK
/u/milky_toast [🍄 5'1" | 108.0 | 21.31 | -76 | F 🌸]
Created: Sat Jun 17 17:00:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwezg/im_sorry_this_is_so_tmi_but_what_the_fuck/
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AGAIN IM SO SORRY THIS IS GROSS AND I AM A DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING BUT
I JUST POOPED LIKE WHOLE ENTIRE SPINACH LEAVES????? LIKE NOT DIGESTED WHATSOEVER, STEM AND ALL????WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
like literally all I have had to eat today was some spinach and cheese in a wheat wrap. And I've had a couple cups of coffee and water ofc. But what the fuck. I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😂😭
[Help] Gym and restriction
/u/Cosmoflower [168cm | 140lbs | 22.5 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 16:55:30 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hwe5b/gym_and_restriction/
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I need help.
I usually decide not to eat between waking up and finishing work, this is my safe zone. It keeps me level. however lately I've been going to the gym a lot and the only thing that will stop me from border line passing out at the gym is eating during the day. I normally eat healthy but I'm the feeling of losing control over one safe zone is hard.
This has led to me losing a bit of control over food and making me super super anxious when I can't get to the gym due to work.
How do you balance restriction and gym? What foods do you go to? Or pre workout food?
I just want to get the balance right to keep myself sane somehow. It's causing me to yo yo in my moods something painful.
[Thinspo] Russian ballerinas are ultimate thinspo...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 16:22:05 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hw880/russian_ballerinas_are_ultimate_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/jr4s0idw6a4z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Omg I finally stopped binging! I found something that works for me! :D
/u/taketaketakethrowa
Created: Sat Jun 17 15:27:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvwy3/omg_i_finally_stopped_binging_i_found_something/
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It's the "eat whatever you want as long as it's within your calorie limit".
I've tried it before, but always with the intention of eventually eating healthy so I still had that panic that I'd never eat my favorite junk food again.
But I accepted the fact that I'll always crave sugar and cookies and never feel full. So, I think about what I really want and have one serving of it. I don't stuff myself. Physically, I know I can eat more, but since I satisfied the craving, I don't really want to eat anymore. If I didn't like something I just threw away the rest of it.
Also decaf coffee is an excellent appetite suppressant.
I hit my 750 calorie goal perfectly today.
This is what naturally skinny people do. They don't restrict themselves. I finally have control and freedom.
Never give up. <3
[Rant/Rave] Why do SOs think they know better than us?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 15:19:17 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvve1/why_do_sos_think_they_know_better_than_us/
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[deleted]
[Help] This week I lost part of my tooth & almost passed out at a festival and yet I still don't want to stop
/u/crumpet9 [5'3 | cw: way too much | gw1: 101 | 20f]
Created: Sat Jun 17 15:16:03 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvuu6/this_week_i_lost_part_of_my_tooth_almost_passed/
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On Thursday I was eating a peach when I tasted something sharp and spit it out. Part of one of my bottom teeth chipped. I honestly have no idea if it's from purging or not but holy fuck. I'm at EDC in Las Vegas right now and yesterday was the first day. My outfit is pretty revealing, a sports bra with fishnets and bathing suit bottoms. Yesterday before the festival I went to lunch with my mom and ate pizza & cheese and purged afterwards. I also barely drank water. Once I got to the festival after a couple of hours I felt like absolute trash. I was disgustingly nauseous from dehydration and exhaustion. I ended up having a panic attack walking through the crowds and dry heaved in the middle of people until I found the medical tent. On the bus ride home I puked (just water) twice into my backpack. Oh did I also mention it's because I EC stacked at the festival? I feel like a fucking idiot. I *know* i'm impacting my health and yet I can't stop. I'm chilling in my hotel room right now and ordered a salad and it's drenched in dressing. I know I have to eat it to not repeat last night but knowing how high cal it probably is is freaking me out. I've never been diagnosed with an ED, since being home for the summer I've dramatically reduced my restriction and purging. I only purge like 2-3x a week and I've been doing either high restriction, binging, and maybe 2 fasting days in the past month. I've gained weight from my LW in March and I'm basically back at my starting weight. It feels so UNFAIR that I have negative health effects without the desired weight loss. I'm TERRIFIED of fucking up my teeth (they're getting to be translucent), I've been dizzy constantly lately, and I think I may be anemic... but past all of those scares I'm terrified to gain weight. Last summer I was 118 (pre relapse) and thought I looked good. Now i look at pictures of then and want to cry because I look so disgusting. I don't want to ever let myself get back to that point. I really feel so lost :(
on mobile please tag "help"
[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/queer_cutie [5'7 | cw 200 | gw 110 | -7lbs | 23M ]
Created: Sat Jun 17 15:12:02 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvu4q/thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/bw4WFUw.jpg
[Rant/Rave] New Boyfriends ex made me relapse
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 14:47:39 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvpks/new_boyfriends_ex_made_me_relapse/
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[deleted]
[Other] what's your go to morning drink?
/u/moggettt [5'5 | cw 109.1 | 18.2 | gw 108 | ugw 98]
Created: Sat Jun 17 14:43:09 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvopx/whats_your_go_to_morning_drink/
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caffeinated or not!! ive been a black coffee or coke zero person for so long but im starting to get on the yerba mate train. it controls my appetite as well as black coffee but it doesnt make me jittery or irritable at all!!
on mornings where i want to treat myself ill do an americano or a 0cal monster (tho im trying to give up the energy drink life.) (i havent been very successful.)
[Discussion] Worst diet food you've ever tried?
/u/Atsugaruru [4"10 | GW: 120 | UGW: 90 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 14:21:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvkmv/worst_diet_food_youve_ever_tried/
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Hey, y'all! I was in the U.S. recently, backpacking a little, and I ate like absolute shit, gaining like 4 pounds. Well that's not the point, I also took the opportunity to try Halo Top (totally worth the cost!) and stock up on some low calorie foods they don't sell in my country.
Well I also wanted to give quest chips a try, because I trust Quest. Nope. Huge mistake. I didn't realize the chips weren't *actually* made from potatoes and the taste itself made me gag, but the texture was the most repulsive thing I've ever tried. I tried to eat two and had to end up throwing the bag away because holy shit it was the worst thing I've ever eaten.
Just curious if anyone else has had some experiences like this, lol
[Discussion] |Advice/Discussion| Super low energy
/u/Dumplingmeister [5'2 |113.2 | -106.8 | GW: 110 | UGW:100 | 20A]
Created: Sat Jun 17 14:18:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvk4h/advicediscussion_super_low_energy/
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Recently I've been trying to pick myself up out of a depressive cycle by going out more and attempting to reestablish some old hobbies of mine, like converting recipes, playing video games, reading, writing, and walking around my neighborhood. I want to start volunteering at a local food pantry next month. /can you taste the irony/
What I've noticed is that trying to do these things while maintaining moderate restriction is *hard*. I'm winded after a mile walk. I can't focus on reading and my eyes cloud over after a page. I'm a generally low energy person as it is with my depression and anhedonia and I just feel absolutely sapped after doing most activities. I feel like I have enough in me to cook my meals and clean up afterwards if that's all I'm doing, but anything else is draining. Caffeine provides temporary relief but unless I keep chugging coffee/energy drinks all day the crash leaves me super irritable and just as tired as I was before.
I try to eat nutrient dense foods to maintain some semblance of 'health', maybe I need to supplement? Is this something y'all struggle with as well or am I just weak? Lol
I feel like 4-700 calories isn't *that* small of an amount to be feeling this lethargic but hey, I tend to rationalize self destructive behavior so who knows.
[Help] Do you trust the number of calories burned exercise machines show?
/u/axxx26
Created: Sat Jun 17 13:54:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hvftg/do_you_trust_the_number_of_calories_burned/
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I always cut it by half if I'm logging it at all because I'm paranoid. Not exactly sure how the machines track it either..
[Rant/Rave] I don't know what to do [rant]
/u/incognitointodrama
Created: Sat Jun 17 13:45:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hve07/i_dont_know_what_to_do_rant/
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So the last couple weeks I've convinced myself that 'recovery' is the way to go. Because as much as i hate my ed, I'm not good at it. I'm not losing weight, I'm just prolonging the time until i will feel miserable again. It's binging and starving all over again.
So i decided to at least try to eat like a normal person. Three meals a day. It's weird as fuck and it's not working. First of all, how do people eat breakfast? That's the weirdest thing of all. Do people just wake up and think 'oh yess the first thing i want to do is drink a cuppa coffee and have some toassst'? Are people actually hungry in the morning?
So yeah, there's that. But breakfast is actually ok because I'm not really hungry so I'll just have some fruit. And lunch is kinda ok too.
But as soon as the day approaches circa four pm, i go into full binge mode.
And every day i ask myself: ' is *this* recovery? Or just another reason to stuff myself'
I seriously hate it. This is not healthy. I want to take a day, or a week off food so bad. But there's this tiny part in my brain that tells me to just keep trying. And the other part is just recognizing my expanding thighs and screaming at me to STOP. BINGEING.
SERIOUSLY SORRY FOR THIS MESS OF A POST. I haven't been on this sub for the last week's bc i felt too guilty for my binging but thought it was time to finally get back on track (whatever that means) and find out what to do, and bc i love all of you guys i thought why not overshare on the Internet. Thanks for listening xx
[Help] Reached a goal. Really depressed about other stuff. Trying not to binge. Advice?
/u/kpatable [5'9"|F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 13:19:45 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hv9by/reached_a_goal_really_depressed_about_other_stuff/
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EDIT: Welp, after trying my best, I decided to just have a maintenance day, which adds another 500 calories to my goal. I ate that one piece of pizza, which sucks, but I didn't binge at least. I hate having to have a maintenance day, but it's better than binging. Bleh. I could still use some support, though, because I still feel bad for eating that damn piece of pizza.
~~I'm 131 lbs today. It's not a huge milestone or even a real GW, but I finally got under 132, which has been my low end for weeks. It's 3:30pm, I've had 900 cals today, and I have 500 left. There is a huge piece of leftover pizza in the fridge (my family ordered it last night). I'm so depressed that I really want to eat the pizza so I can feel *good* amidst this depression hell. But I know it's a bad idea. Any advice?~~
[Rant/Rave] Went swimsuit shopping today, and now I want to die.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 13:15:54 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hv8jg/went_swimsuit_shopping_today_and_now_i_want_to_die/
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[deleted]
[Other] Late to the party, but here's a Swedish ED haul :)
/u/cocionut [168cm/5'6 | *CRYING INTENSIFIES* | why | 13.4kg |]
Created: Sat Jun 17 12:18:11 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hux7q/late_to_the_party_but_heres_a_swedish_ed_haul/
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https://i.redd.it/15lor7adz84z.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I finally feel in control again
/u/Zoombinis [24 F | 5'8" (172 cm) | CW: 122 lbs (55.33 kg) | GW: Flat belly]
Created: Sat Jun 17 11:06:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6huild/i_finally_feel_in_control_again/
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I'm using small amounts of meth and amphetamines and cocaine to fast. I'm starting to really relish the feeling of my stomach rumbling when I come down from them. Spinach, small pieces of meat, and salt. I'm not even weighing myself, I just love feeling so in control of my body
[Rant/Rave] My experience with electrolyte imbalance; my pity-party-potassium-extravaganza
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 78 lbs | 14.89 | -24ish | f]
Created: Sat Jun 17 11:02:37 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6huhwg/my_experience_with_electrolyte_imbalance_my/
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I'm severely bulimic. like, so bulimic it startled my therapist, who has been working with eating disorder patients for like, ever. So, naturally, my electrolytes are not happy campers. Namely, my potassium. This is a condition i've come to know quite a bit about in my five years of playing this game, and so, when the symptoms returned, i knew exactly what it was.
Thusly, i went to the doctor. or rather, i tried. for *months*. But, nobody wants to handle ED patients. *Nobody*. Plus, my finances are about as stable as my mental health, so i can't afford a private physician or anything like that. It's all further stunted by my subpar insurance.
I went to the ER three times in the last month trying to get them to help me. They refused to treat me and sent me on my way, and i lumped home to drink a gatorade and pretend i wasn't seemingly on my way out.
But last week, there was a miracle.
My therapist (bless her) managed to secure me an appointment.
And so, finally, i went to see my new doctor who, as soon as the results from my blood draw were in, called me and told me to immediatly go to the ER.
And this time, they took me, because while they can tell a sick kid to her face that she doesn't matter, they can't say that to a little piece of paper saying that sick kid has a blood potassium level of 2.3. And with my fucked up EKG results, and i was in.
For the next three days.
The EKG was preformed almost immediately after i arrived, and i was admitted for inteveineous potassium replacement.
It felt like greek fire being pumped into my body.
The hot, burning, stabbing pain was complimented by the sensation of massive crushing that took over my arm. It felt so... heavy, and ill, and wrong. I could barely speak. I could barely breathe. My heart/blood pressure monitor kept going crazy i was in so much pain.
Finally, there was a shift change, and the new nurse decided to add in something else that would take the pain away, but also dilute it, to which my mother (my *darling*, loving mother... not) chimed in that i needed to suck it up and deal because she didn't want to be there any longer than she had to.
Oh, and the first nurse messed up putting it in, so i have/had a lovely, deep, swollen bruise inside my right elbow so every time anyone took blood (every two hours for the first day, then every four hours) it hurt like a *bitch*.
I also found that even in such a state with the steady beep of my monitors and the aching in my dart-board arms, i could not stop purging.
Whenever i got fed (the infrequency of which aggrevated my warped, broken brain to no end) i would hobble off to the bathroom, heart monitor in tow, and purge.
This presented quite the issue when they started giving me my potassium by mouth (a solution which was thick and sticky like cough syrup and sickness, glowed a sicker neon orange, and tasted like the soil of Carthage. Oh, and it chapped my lips into leather.)
So for two days, every time it went up, it also would invariably go back down, never all the way to 2.3, but as low as 3.2. The most frustrating were the little changes, from 4.0 to 3.9, that, though within acceptable, normal levels, prolonged my stay regardless.
I was an emotional wreck.
I am always an emotional wreck (heyo, mood disorders) but this was too much for me. See, ivegot issues with hospitals. The last time i was hospitalized for my ED, whilst in a specialized facility, i was sexually assaulted by a member of my treatment team.
The smell of antiseptic triggers me.
I spent three un-days (thanks, John Green) in the never-quite-dark, never-quiet of the hospital, and was finally released yesterday at the mercy of a wonderful nurse who saw my plight and personally pled my case.
And guess what.
In three weeks, i have a follow up with my doctor.
In three weeks, i'm probably going to have to do it all again.
[Rant/Rave] My Proudest moment, six years ago.
/u/thinfetish
Created: Sat Jun 17 10:37:50 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hucuq/my_proudest_moment_six_years_ago/
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https://i.redd.it/ncrewgpah84z.png
[Other] You guys liked my comic from yesterday ! Heres another one !
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 124.8lbls |19.82|-40 (then +30 lol)| female]
Created: Sat Jun 17 10:36:36 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hucmj/you_guys_liked_my_comic_from_yesterday_heres/
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https://i.redd.it/90jlbey8h84z.jpg
[Thinspo] Hit one of my goals today so I'm really happy - thinspo time
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Sat Jun 17 10:36:07 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hucix/hit_one_of_my_goals_today_so_im_really_happy/
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http://imgur.com/a/JGPCX
[Tip] Starbucks
/u/milky_toast [🍄 5'1" | 108.0 | 21.31 | -76 | F 🌸]
Created: Sat Jun 17 10:35:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6huccp/starbucks/
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I know this has been done before, but I am an ex-barista, and I wanted to share my breakfast with you guys, and also answer any questions you might have ☺️
So, sometimes when I want a treat, I'll order a
Grande mocha light frappucino, with a shot, and in a venti cup.
It pretty much fills up the whole venti cup, it's cheaper than a venti, it's freaking delicious, and it's only about 130 kcal.
When you order frapps with a shot, the espresso expands when it is blended so it takes up a good bit of space. When you order it in the next size cup, they actually give you the whole thing. If you don't order it in the bigger cup you're really only getting maybe 2/3 of what you paid for!
So yeah, if you've got any questions ask away ☺️
[Thinspo] Body type goals +
/u/-novaterra- [174cm | 67Kg | i wanna be 58 again :( |]
Created: Sat Jun 17 10:17:32 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hu8uh/body_type_goals/
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https://i.redd.it/cdqbyfdrd84z.gif
[Rant/Rave] I met someone.
/u/082616 [5' 6.5"/127/22/F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 09:43:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hu20r/i_met_someone/
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20 views and no comments?? Damn, I suck. Sorry for ranting.
Ok, so I don't know how this is going to start or finish so here goes. I met someone. We work at the same store, he's older, we've hung out at his place, I like him. I am losing weight. It's only a matter of time before he really starts to notice. I mean, a few more days and I'll be able to see RIBS!!! :) Now if only my thighs could be bone thin that'd be great (any recommendations for that would be great). I've been to his house 3-5 times and the only thing I ate have been 4 potato skins and 4 wings, a HUGE fucking NY slice of pizza (so two slices in one) annddd that might be it. I am so so so so so thankful that whenever I go over there there is not much to eat. I recently thought of telling him I am on medication that has made my appetite very very low, but like, what kind of medication could I tell him I'm on and what for? I don't want him to be too concerned. I fucking hate that I ate that pizza slice still. I need excuses for when he starts asking questions. He knows all I eat at work is protein bars because they are so great! Only a matter of time before my fingers start freeezing and that'll be fun when we're holding hands and he's like WTF??? Not looking forward to that. Oh, and I think I'm going to get Melatonin today after work to take that instead of eating dinner or possibly binging after work. I don't know, thank you for reading this <3 <3 <3
Also need a buddy. I am soon to be 27, 5 ft 6.5 inches, and 127 pounds. 2 away from my first goal! :D
Random facts about me cuz why not:
I am watching Starved on YouTube right now, it's great, I recommend it.
I work at a grocery store as a cashier.
I would like to workout but get out of breath way too quickly and my heart rate goes sky high.
I love protein bars. They are a hit or miss, but once you find some good ones, then it's great.
[Rant/Rave] It's been a while
/u/spaceppigeon [5'6 | 122 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 09:11:06 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6htvzd/its_been_a_while/
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I haven't been on this subreddit in about three weeks in an attempt to quell my obsession with food and weight.
Long story short it hasn't worked.
ANYWAY. My boyfriend and I leave today for our west coast road trip. Olympic National Park down to the coast to San Francisco, across to Death Valley, the Grand Canyon, and Zion National Park. So much hiking and camping. I absolutely cannot wait.
I thought I was excited because I always lose weight on vacations. Especially trips like this. I thought I was excited to return home after two weeks without a scale and see a number drastically lower from when I left. I mean don't get me wrong, I can't wait for the actual hiking and car camping life, and spending time with my SO, and seeing places that look like another planet, but as usual, the weight stuff is always on my mind.
Except.
I realized the other night (and cried buckets when I did) that I'm not excited about losing weight...I'm excited that for two weeks I'm going to be filled with wonder and amazement, and for two weeks the most dominant thoughts in my brain won't be about food and weight.
I can feel a tiny little taste of freedom.
I'm not saying my ED will be cured with a road trip, it won't. But, I can have some relief for just a little while.
Anyway, I hope everyone can find a few moments of freedom this week if only for a little while.
[Rant/Rave] I need to remember to triple check food labels
/u/RetailSlaveNo1 [5'2 | NB | SW: 190lb | CW: 140.1lb | GW: 85lb]
Created: Sat Jun 17 08:04:43 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6htjun/i_need_to_remember_to_triple_check_food_labels/
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I had a fancy chocolate bar and I planned a budget so I could eat half the bar plus dinner (lots of walking about today) and be under 600kcal. At this low of restriction, y'all know every single calorie counts.
I go to log it in MFP but nobody has made an entry yet. It won't let me finish because it said the macros mismatched. I did the math. It said half a bar was 220kcal but it was 268kcal in reality.
I'm pretty unhappy about this but I still could eat 1/3 of the bar thankfully.
Anyways, just a reminder for everyone and myself that you can't trust labels.
[Tip] Starting calorie count for the day at dinner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 06:50:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ht87f/starting_calorie_count_for_the_day_at_dinner/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] I stayed up walking in the nature all night and can't sleep now...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 06:26:42 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ht50q/i_stayed_up_walking_in_the_nature_all_night_and/
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Only had 300 calories for today which I'm happy with, but I really want to drink 500 more in alcohol to get to that sweet coma. Summer vacation is productive so far #blessed
EDIT: Am I being downvoted for underage drinking? lol
[Thinspo] anyone else make super shitty collages of their fave thinspo? 😂
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 06:11:12 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ht2xk/anyone_else_make_super_shitty_collages_of_their/
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https://i.redd.it/541bdbtw574z.jpg
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! June 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 17 06:10:53 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ht2w0/stupid_questions_saturday_june_17_2017/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for June 17, 2017.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! June 17, 2017
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 17 06:10:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ht2tb/daily_food_diary_june_17_2017/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 17, 2017.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] just a small rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 17 06:02:14 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6ht1pc/just_a_small_rant/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Dead inside
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Sat Jun 17 05:34:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hsy9j/dead_inside/
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On mobile so please Flair as rant rave.
Someone said compassion is the thief of joy. I feel like that as true. As long as I have felt less and yet more than everyone I have struggled to maintain sustainable happiness.
I try art to express myself but in the end I am just singing to myself. I see strangers and without wanting to know them I hate them for having the control I don't have. I'm sabotaging my own bodily chemistry for the sake of chasing some aesthetic and look.
I don't really care about being strong or healthy. Healthy seems like an offensive word to me. Healthy is synonymous with Fat. I want to be rail thin and to fit the smallest clothes and be the smallest in any room. I don't even know why it matters so much. I just want it. I am convinced it will bring happiness and also validate my struggles.
It's been a 10 year plus winter for me. Cold and lonely. I don't really connect to anyone because it puts me at an unnecessary risk and I don't want anyone to know me. I need to remain this enigma. This thing that doesn't want to be human. I don't do relationships because I'm undesired. I don't do friendships because socialization revolves around food. If people know you and get close to you they are just in a position to break you from within.
The truth is I've been broken for too long. I don't know what to do when I get there or if I get there. Looking in the mirror now or at my goal weight may be the same thing. It won't make me want to be more social. If may make me less desire able as a person, a friend or a partner.
I have become numb. I'm slowly dying and honestly don't know or care much if I am a casualty to all of this. I am not happy and it seems impossible to be happy. I hate my job. I don't do well at school. I wasn't born into a family with much and in fact I resent my family for making me who I am.
I'm dead inside and the outside is just playing catch up.
Willow.
[Rant/Rave] When you binge extra hard
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 25F💎]
Created: Sat Jun 17 05:00:27 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hsu1y/when_you_binge_extra_hard/
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Please mark rant!!
And then can't sleep between the stomach ache, fear of puking and gas.
Jk as i was writing this I puked my guts up. So that's good ig? My throat hurts bc I don't often like but I can at least sleep now before work 😭
[Rant/Rave] Mean comments from SO, what to do?
/u/fluobun [185cm|88.6kg|25.89|HW:95kg|F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 04:25:00 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hspzf/mean_comments_from_so_what_to_do/
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My boyfriend made such a rude comment this morning... I wanna die. He was telling me I should either do some cardio, stretches or planks today, and preferrably all those three, but I just HATE being commanded into doing something. Even though I was already planning on going for a walk with a friend this afternoon, I told him that I would do whatever I wanted and that he could advise me to do those things by speaking in a different tone/asking/advising me instead of commanding me to do those things. And then he said "well if you don't want to get my help you know you won't lose weight and you'll still be eating a huge deficit in five years without it making a difference." I did not respond so then he said "if you really don't care just get up to 120kg for all that matters". So then I just got my stuff and left. I know I'm not the skinniest (bmi of 26-27 now) but he knows I've been losing weight for the last couple of weeks, and with succes so I feel like this is just not fair. I know that he means well (or at least I hope so) but this was just plain mean and really unnecessary to say. Plus he just texted me and wants me to make him fucking banana bread. Well bye bye baby no homemade banana bread for you this weekend 😤
Okay lol I just wanted to rant a little, but I was also wondering if any of you have/had an SO who said something similar and what you did?
[Rant/Rave] Going crazy
/u/sewnp [5'6"/CW:170/BMI:27/LW:145/UGW:99/NB]
Created: Sat Jun 17 04:00:58 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hsnbf/going_crazy/
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I've been binging for a while now and gained and literally feel like my head is going to explode because everytime I look at myself in the mirror all I see is flab. (: Kill me please and everyone who 'wants' an ED. This is not fun, this is not a choice, it fucking sucks.
[Help] I'm on holiday and I just weighed myself. 5lbs more than I thought.
/u/AsleepAnvils [5'3" | CW:116 | GW:105 | 20F]
Created: Sat Jun 17 02:19:35 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hscdy/im_on_holiday_and_i_just_weighed_myself_5lbs_more/
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I feel so fat I never want to eat again. I spent about 2 hours sobbing last night to my boyfriend about how I was a useless waste of space and now...
It just makes me want to die lmao
[Other] Anyone have any other good subreddits?
/u/OMFGLDQ [💮5'3" | 96.8lbs | 17.62 | HW 125lbs | LW 82lbs | 👨❤👨]
Created: Sat Jun 17 01:42:04 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hs874/anyone_have_any_other_good_subreddits/
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I have this account for strictly disordered things rn
I'm not gonna kid myself that this is a throwaway bc I know better.
I just wanna know if anyone has any disordered subreddit (eating or otherwise) to recommend bc I subscribed to this one, and a couple others
[Rant/Rave] Why do I always do this...
/u/Shawnanan
Created: Sat Jun 17 00:33:16 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hs08v/why_do_i_always_do_this/
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I ended up not eating lunch or dinner yesterday but of course I'm dragged to a family dinner and what does everyone eat?
My fucking trigger food. CHICKEN WINGS!!
I was really riding the high of hitting a new LW. But noooo I fuck that up by eating 8 chicken wings and a freakin beer! I ended the day at 1,210.
Not awful but still way to high and it's stressing me the hell out.
So I go out to the bar later I didn't drink.
But what do I do when I get home?
(Literally 15 minutes ago)
I EAT 2 MORE LEFT OVER CHICKEN WINGS!!!!
What the hell is wrong with me?!
And I can't throw them away because they are my boyfriends but having them in the fridge is sending me over the edge.
Sorry to carry on but why the fuck do I do this!!
Anyone else do this shit too?
[Help] Pains in leg/hip...keeping me awake D:
/u/VirideGliridae [5'3" | F28 | GW: 100lbs | UGW: 90lbs for now]
Created: Sat Jun 17 00:29:08 2017
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/6hrzox/pains_in_leghipkeeping_me_awake_d/
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It's only on one side and I know it could be for any number of reasons, but it's just keeping me awake, I went to sleep finally at about 4am and am up at half six and argh. At least let me sleep!
I've been restricting more heavily than I used to. I set myself a goal of below 600kcal a day but I've been below 400 all week...below 350, even. I've been tired and feeling ill anyway, I'm probably getting a cold (blocked nose and tickly sore feeling in chest), and I know restricting this much isn't helping, but I've been taking multivitamins and my iron supplement and what I DO eat is veggies and fruit and cheese so I feel like I'm covering most of my bases...but maybe this pain is from restricting too much.
I also know that my "rules" are stricter than they have been previously, too...I used to eat spinach and tomatoes with every "dinner" (I eat once a day, between 5pm and 7pm) but now I find myself only choosing iceberg lettuce and maybe some vinegar and salt and pepper on it. I won't even eat low cal yoghurt or berries at the moment...I know I should, I know I'm gonna get ill, but it's like I don't care anymore and want to get sicker. This pain is not good though.
All I know is that it's getting fairly unbearable. I NEED to be able to sleep. I'm so tired. I've taken some ibuprofen but who knows if that will even work. I've chugged a bunch of water, after weighing myself, I can't drink before I weigh myself in the morning. I hadn't even lost weight this morning though and I want to cry, but I'm probably also dehydrated, barely peed (sorry, tmi) and my eyes are dry.
I'm just feeling extra shitty at the moment and I dunno what to do with myself :( Anyone else had leg pain like this? Did you fix it? Am I just being a huge idiot?