[Help] How do you guys work out calories with fitbits?
/u/Fatalope
Created: Wed Nov 14 15:33:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x4yiu/how_do_you_guys_work_out_calories_with_fitbits/
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So according to lose it I have to eat 956 calories to lose 2lbs a week and with my fitbit taking 8,000 steps I burn 1,800 calories.
How would I mesh those? How does it work?
I usually just ignore it and try to stay under the calories (hard when I'm trying to eat normally so no one suspects im slipping) but I want to get .... better and being worse?
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I’ve gained a million pounds
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 15:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x4ub3/i_feel_like_ive_gained_a_million_pounds/
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According to MFP I should be losing a pound a week for the past month or so, even though I haven’t been meeting my goals AT ALL. But I feel so huge. I know that there’s no way I’ve fucked up counting so badly that I’m actually gaining even though it says I’m losing, but I feel like I look so flabby and huge. I used to be so good at this. I once did two weeks of eating nothing and running for an hour every day. And now I can’t even keep my intake until 800 cals. I was really hoping to be at my GW for thanksgiving 🙁. I moved in with my boyfriend and it’s so hard to restrict around him.
I've gained so much weight recently I feel disgusting, only my hands stop me from being completely dysphoric :(
/u/burningbambi
Created: Wed Nov 14 15:03:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x4oxa/ive_gained_so_much_weight_recently_i_feel/
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https://imgur.com/9Nm9oz9
[Rant/Rave] TIP: dont break fasts with pickles
/u/arthroego [20F / -45.4 / gw : -80]
Created: Wed Nov 14 14:57:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x4n01/tip_dont_break_fasts_with_pickles/
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this is so TMI but i dont know where else to go for advice/support
so i hadnt eaten in ~24-30 hours. felt kinda shitty, so i ate 3 bags of those hot pickle bites bc oooo low calorie. what could POSSIBLY go wrong
thought i was going to fart
i fucking shit myself.
it finally happened. does this mean i actually have a problem now lmao. like worst part is i was just like ah so its like that now. i wonder if i lost water weight. wtf is WRONG WITH ME
but ALSO
I WAS SITTING ON THE GROUND IN LEGGINGS COMMANDO. IT WENT THROUGH MY PANTS
IT GOT ON THE CARPET
WHAT DO I DO????? im reading a wikihow on pet diarrhea on a carpet lmao but its a light colored one that isnt even mine its my FUCKING ROOMMATES so any sanitation and anti staining tips pls help i want to fucking die at least she wasnt home
I’m not my ed
/u/SlavNation
Created: Wed Nov 14 14:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x4mrb/im_not_my_ed/
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I’m sick and tired of people pushing me away when I open up to them about my ed and relationship with food. They come to me and want to have a deep connection, they come to me and want to know more about me, but when I tell them about me and what makes me do the things I do, they push me away.
This has happened before, and they treat me like I’m not a person with other traits. They treat me like I’m just the disorder. They forget every single other aspect of me and just associate me as “the girl with an ed”. Like ???
I’m not a toxic person. I’m not pushing my ed on others. It takes me a very long time to open up to people to begin with, and when I feel like I can trust someone with this sensitive information about myself and then they just do this to me.
Sorry if this is all over the place. I’m just frustrated.
Just a reminder that guys, you’re not your disorder. You have so many other amazing qualities. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re just your disorder.
Life's too short to buy cheap pickles
/u/fattieater
Created: Wed Nov 14 14:55:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x4mby/lifes_too_short_to_buy_cheap_pickles/
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I rarely cook meals
/u/theunachievable
Created: Wed Nov 14 14:13:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x46tt/i_rarely_cook_meals/
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I just realized I don't really cook meals when I'm restricting or even when I'm not lol. It's little snacks throughout the day, the occasional oatmeal packet, or salad. When ppl ask me what I ate that day (which why are you even asking me that???) I usually freeze and have to scramble. Or when someone asks what my favorite meals to make are I have no idea! Even when I'm in a mood and have given up on restricting I really don't make meals. I just eat snacks. Obligatory "does anyone else??"
[Rant/Rave] Why TF am I so weird about what I eat???!!!
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Wed Nov 14 14:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x42za/why_tf_am_i_so_weird_about_what_i_eat/
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My family had planned on having pesto pasta for dinner - if anything I was excited for it! I made the pasta and being the idiot I am I didn’t make enough pasta so I didn’t give myself any lmao. Was feeling proud of myself until I got hungry while doing homework and had to eat... decided I didn’t want food and something too high calorie - I made myself an oat milk hot chocolate (roughly 200cal?) yet that’s making me panic and making me feel like a fat fuck. How TF was I gonna be fine with 400+cal pasta but this panics me??!!!!!!!
Moving back to my hometown of Chicago--don't want anyone to recognize me
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:59:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x41wj/moving_back_to_my_hometown_of_chicagodont_want/
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Grew up and went to university in Chicago.Growing up I was borderline obese (200lbs at 5'9" ). I restricted and was bulimic but my weight never got into the healthy range and I yo-yo-ed a lot. When I graduated, I lost the extra weight and actually became pretty slim. I've posted pictures a couple pictures on Facebook since then so obviously people have seen that I'm a lot thinner but since I hate taking pics they actually were never of my low weights, just healthy BMI. I
Next fall I'm moving back to Chicago (most likely) and I want to lose an additional 40lbs by then. I am also about to get fillers. I don't want ANYONE who used to know me to recognize me. I just like the idea of a fresh start. I know it's unlikely to even run into someone from childhood or college in a city that big but then again maybe not. I just have this weird fantasy of meeting someone I already know but they think I'm someone else. My personality also changed a lot for the better (read: was spoiled brat) and I'd kind of like to forget what a fat, snotty loser i was.
[Rant/Rave] hey guys and gals and enby pals
/u/sexsymboI [5'9 | CW: 145lbs | UGW: 115lbs | 18F ]
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:56:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x4123/hey_guys_and_gals_and_enby_pals/
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ive been ghost for the last liddle while cause i BEEN bingeing n now im up five pounds wooooo. didn't think id become one of those stereotypical canadians who has a timmies latte every day but i need my large french vanilla apparently (430 cals!!!!!) so thats been adding up
im legitimately broke now though so 🤘☺️🤘 i cant afford it anymore yay!
I hate everything about how my body reacts to food.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:54:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x40fi/i_hate_everything_about_how_my_body_reacts_to_food/
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Breaking my fast? Great. Food hits the stomach. Feel full.
Body: EAT MORE PLEASE.
Me: No.
Body: PLEASE EAT MORE I'M SOOOO HUNGRY.
Me: No.
[Twenty minutes later.]
Body: I'm full. Good thing you didn't eat more!
With bonus points for:
Body: FEED ME IT'S URGENT ^(lol j/k I was actually thirsty)
[Help] Really sunken eyes, bad bags, I’m pale and look like a corpse. How do you guys deal?
/u/7702
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:49:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3zd6/really_sunken_eyes_bad_bags_im_pale_and_look_like/
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Are there any good makeup products u guys recommend? Or face creams, or anything like that? I’m not ready to recover yet but I’ve started to look Really dead. It’s brought down my self esteem more than I thought possible. Now my body looks better but I have the face of a decomposing corpse. All the concealers I’ve used barely work at all. I have a skincare routine which I follow religiously but It doesn’t help either. How do you guys deal with this?? Or is there nothing I can do to fix this other than recovering?
[Tip] Serious PSA: Selenium deficiency is very common in anorexic patients and can cause heart failure
/u/icthaine [🎍| 5'8" | 21.7 | -24 | 23M]
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:43:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3x8z/serious_psa_selenium_deficiency_is_very_common_in/
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Guys, most of us already know that anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. The main causes of sudden death in eating disorders are those related to **cardiovascular** complications.
There are a billion nutritional deficiencies common in EDs (potassium, sodium, chloride, etc), and a billion conditions that come with those deficiencies (hypokalemia, hypophosphatemia, anemia, etc), but considering that:
A) **Heart failure is the leading cause of death** and
B) **Selenium deficiencies** ***can*** **and** ***will*** **cause heart failure,** are **so prevalent** (1 in 3 patients with restrictive subtype, 1 in 4 with BP subtype) and NEVER mentioned in terms of care for anorexia, I wanted to make the SparkNotes version of an informational post to remind everyone to keep an eye out.
Selenium is an antioxidant that plays parts in myocardial health, mood regulation and protection against infection. It functions collaboratively with other antioxidant micronutrients such as vitamin E and C.
**Selenium deficiency** can cause (among other things) oxidative damage to many organs, which can take the form of skeletal myopathy (**muscle atrophy**) and cardiomyopathy (**heart muscle disease**), such as white muscle disease. **Observable symptoms** include muscle weakness, hair loss, fatigue, mental fog, weakened immune system. (Note: Hair loss can be caused by many deficiencies like iron, zinc, protein, and vitamins A,D, and E, but selenium is definitely on the list. Might help if that’s a symptom you experience.)
All of those are symptoms of fasting and prolonged starvation as well. All of them. Selenium deficiency has very few observable symptoms to begin with, and it’s even harder for us to notice those symptoms, so it’s more worth being vigilant.
The National Institutes of Health recommends that people over the age of 14 try to get **55 micrograms** (mcg) **of selenium per day**. It’s most often found in seafood, meat, dairy, and grains, which unfortunately make up very little of restrictive diets and is likely the cause of such a frequent deficiency. Your best bet is likely mushrooms or spinach if you’re looking for the lowest calories.
**Selenium rich foods** in vague order of lowest to highest calories:
* Spinach: 1 cup - 16% DV
* Shiitake mushrooms: 1 cup cooked - 65% DV
* Portabella mushrooms: 1 cup cooked - 48% DV
* Eggs (60% of the selenium is in the yolk, only 40% in the albumen, so if you can manage the whole egg, that would be ideal): 1 whole egg - 21% DV
* Cottage cheese: 1/2 cup, 1% milkfat - 15% DV
* Firm tofu: 1/2 cup - 40% DV
* Shrimp: 3 oz - 57% DV
* Turkey: boneless, roasted, 3 oz: 44% DV
* Chicken, light meat, roasted, 3 oz: 31% DV
* Tuna, yellowfin, cooked, 3 oz: 131% DV
* Ham: roasted, 3 oz - 67% DV
* Oysters: 3oz - 238% DV
* This is my favorite one: Brazil nuts are stupid high in Se. One nut is 30 calories and more than 100% your daily intake. One nut
A quick Google search (or the lists I have linked below) will yield more comprehensive results.
A lot of the times **100% of the DV is already in daily multivitamins**, which I would recommend taking if you aren’t already! I would check the ones you have now. Otherwise, it’s often in thyroid and antioxidant-centered supplements.
My main reference was the first link listed below in the citations — Micronutrient Status in 153 Patients with Anorexia Nervosa, a study done on 153 patients with AN-R and AN-BP published in March 2017. The **most commonly occurring micronutrient deficiencies** in AN were **vitamin B9, vitamin A**, and **selenium**. I would keep vitamins B9 and A in mind too, do your homework, etc. I was so thrown off by selenium (which I knew shit-all about until now), that I wanted to give it a personal shout out. With a disease that’s very easily life or death, the more you know about it, the better.
If anyone has any corrections or additions, feel free to mention them and I’ll edit this post if need be!
**Lists of Selenium-Rich Foods**:
Selenium Fact Sheet for Health Professionals (scroll down for the table): [https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Selenium-HealthProfessional/](https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Selenium-HealthProfessional/)
Top 10 Foods Highest in Selenium: [https://www.myfooddata.com/articles/foods-high-in-selenium.php](https://www.myfooddata.com/articles/foods-high-in-selenium.php)
20 Foods Rich in Selenium: [https://www.healthline.com/health/selenium-foods](https://www.healthline.com/health/selenium-foods)
**Other Citations**:
Micronutrient Status in 153 Patients with Anorexia Nervosa: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5372888/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5372888/)
White muscle disease in humans: myopathy caused by selenium deficiency in anorexia nervosa under long term total parenteral nutrition: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1736684/pdf/v067p00829.pdf](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1736684/pdf/v067p00829.pdf)
Sudden death in eating disorders: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3292410/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3292410/)
Diet and hair loss: effects of nutrient deficiency and supplement use: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5315033/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5315033/)
Selenium Deficiency: [https://www.healthline.com/health/selenium-deficiency#treatment](https://www.healthline.com/health/selenium-deficiency#treatment)
Good ed entertainment?
/u/whatsupbitchezzz [20F | 5'2" CW 107 | HW 130 | GW2 105 UGW 100]
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:31:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3tej/good_ed_entertainment/
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I just blew my whole day's calories so it's looking like Diet Coke and Youtube for dinner!
My favorites to watch are Amberlynn Reid and my 600 pound life clips, but I think I've watched every single video ever posted of each. Recommendations would be appreciated.
[Help] doctor suspects ED
/u/dollydomer [5'6 | 107.8|GW 100 |F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:30:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3sw8/doctor_suspects_ed/
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okay sooo i have chronic back pain and worsened scoliosis so i got a ton of x rays on my lumbar spine and a full scoliosis series. my pediatrician saw that i have an eating disorder in my file, but everyone believes that after treatment i have been perfectly fine and recovered. my scans were sent to my pediatrician and she called my mom and said that my bones looked malnourished.
first question: what does that mean?
she said that i need to go back in for a follow up and i will probably get a blood test.
second: what will she test for? im guessing vitamins but does anyone know what vitamins?
thanks for the help y’all are amazing
Used to have a 'perfect' ED
/u/pinktardigrade
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:26:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3rqn/used_to_have_a_perfect_ed/
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throwaway because I don't want anyone to know about this, but I'm so glad I found this sub.
​
Anyway, I've been struggling with disordered eating for about 10 years now (christ). Some years have been much better than others.
​
What I always come back to is that when I first developed an ED (the first year or so), I feel like I had the perfect system. I ate 1000-1200 calories per day. Every day. I never binged. I feel like I didn't even know binging was an "option" as dumb as that sounds. And since I was a teen, I didn't have a way to buy my own food anyway. I never purged and still haven't, thankfully. (Well, I purge in the sense that some people say overexercising can be 'purging' but y'know.) Mentally, I wasn't fully disordered. Since I never went over my calorie goals and was consistently losing weight, I never felt guilty. But I know that restricting with the goal of being underweight is disordered in a way.
​
Yeah, I was underweight, but the doctors weren't really concerned because I was otherwise healthy. In fact, they seemed happy with it.
​
Tbh, rather than recovering, I'd rather reach back to that state. I try to channel my former self but it's such a struggle now for some reason. I feel like I'm making progress in the last month though.
​
Can ANYONE relate to me? I've never found anyone with a similar story even on pro ED sites.
​
Thanks!
"Wow I relate! . . .wait that's my post from a month ago"
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:18:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3p53/wow_i_relate_wait_thats_my_post_from_a_month_ago/
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I was scrolling and not paying attention and I started reading a post I left and was all like wow that describes me perfectly I'm gonna reply. Then I realized I wrote it.
Unrelated to this, anyone have good experiences in therapy? I mean does it help you change the way you view yourself? I like my therapist but I'm feeling hopeless. Been in therapy for over a year.
[Help] In a bit of a rut?
/u/Belldainty
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:15:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3o2h/in_a_bit_of_a_rut/
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I watched soemthing about a girl with anorexia who died because of her refusal to eat. Although I'm no where near that it hit me that if I continue like this for too long that I could die or not be able to have kids or whatever you guys know what I mean. I had a sudden spark today to lose weight the healthy way and to tell my dad who I trust the most about all this and get help. Thoughts?
Does anyone have Kik?
/u/cutthroat12 [27yo |5'6"| CW:130 | HW: 160 | GW: 110]
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:11:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3mya/does_anyone_have_kik/
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[removed]
Christmas Chow :((
/u/TalisonMArs
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:11:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3mrr/christmas_chow/
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Okay okay I know, Christmas in a month ish. But still I want to be ready. Does anyone have any good advice at getting through Christmas?
Most people when they think Christmas, think about all of the food. I made a list of things to do at Christmas that aren’t good related... but the issue lies with foods constant presence.
It’s left out to snack on, it’s being cooked, you can smell it, you have to eat with relatives who don’t know about the issue (or will do when they see your weight loss from last year), the stockings, the chocolate, the constant snacks and food gifts.
How do I deal with this? My mum knows and will try to help me eat a small meal (I won’t eat it lmao).
But most important, how to I avoid a late night binge of every food I didn’t eat in the day/a mid day binge when everyone leaves the room?
Plz help I’m fully lying awake at night thinking about this.
Wanna lose weight? Have kids!!
/u/Fit4me123
Created: Wed Nov 14 13:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3jnn/wanna_lose_weight_have_kids/
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You won’t have time to eat, and you’ll constantly be moving around!! Bonus points for a baby that loves airplane and being tossed in the air! I just had a baby a few months ago. I was overweight before, but since having a baby I’ve lost the pregnancy weight and like 35 lbs extra. Breastfeeding on top of being huge before getting pregnant really inflates the amount of weight you can lose in a short period of time. It makes me want to breastfeed until my kid is 6 lmaooo. I am soo hungry all the time, but it almost makes me feel powerful. I still eat around 1,000 calories a day and take my prenatal. I even have an oversupply of milk. I really need to lose the weight now before my kid is too old. I don’t want her picking up my ED behaviors. Any other new moms here? I’d love to pick each other’s brains!
[Goal] I haven’t drank or binged for a whole ass day. A small victory I know. But this is pretty big for me.
/u/alreadydeadjess
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:52:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3gnt/i_havent_drank_or_binged_for_a_whole_ass_day_a/
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Let’s talk stereotypes
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW117.9 | 18.47 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:46:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3eoc/lets_talk_stereotypes/
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What’s *the* anorexic girl stereotypes? What do you think they are? How do you feel about the glamorexic stereotype?
[Discussion] DAE find it's easier to restrict when your place is clean?
/u/i-awesomesauce-you [5'5" | CW: 150 lbs | GW: 111 lbs | F | 24]
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:46:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3efr/dae_find_its_easier_to_restrict_when_your_place/
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I've been in a binge cycle for god fucking knows how long now. Life has been shit for months, my apartment has been a MESS, and I've gained 23 pounds. But last weekend we had guests coming over and so my bf and I cleaned/organized our place and miraculously I don't feel the need to binge anymore. After months and months of not even trying to count calories because I know I'll hate myself when it's like 5000+ per day, I managed to not only count calories yesterday but kept it under 1100! I'm over the moon right now guys - I forgot what having some semblance of control actually feels like and I am fucking high on this feeling!
How to make sunken eyes/bags less noticeable??
/u/7702
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:45:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3ebu/how_to_make_sunken_eyesbags_less_noticeable/
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Are there any good makeup products u guys recommend? Or face creams, or anything like that? I’m not ready to recover yet but I’ve started to look Really dead. It’s brought down my self esteem more than I thought possible. Now my body looks good but I have the face of a decomposing corpse. All the concealers I’ve used barely work at all. I have a skincare routine which I follow religiously but It doesn’t help either. How do you guys deal with this??
New years body
/u/itsoobak
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:45:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3e68/new_years_body/
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I see a friend of mine i havent seen since i was like 10 lbs lighter on new years and i wanna be like 30 lbs down from what i am today. anybody else have crazy weight loss dreams? I think if i eat like 300 cal a day i’ll at least be down like 15 but... has anybody lost this much weight that fast? i need like ... proof that i can do this
I haven't binged for a full 2 weeks!
/u/NocturnalNightingale
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:44:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3duv/i_havent_binged_for_a_full_2_weeks/
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I'm so amazed at myself and just wanted to share! I've gone from 2000-5000 calorie binges (daily) to managing to track everything I ate for 2 weeks and staying at or under my daily calorie goal (1200 max, averaging 900-1000 currently). BED has done a number on my body and mind and it feels so good to be taking back some control!
i weighed myself for the first time after a long depressive episode and it’s almost enough to put me back into one
/u/moonbyjonghyun
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:39:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3c7r/i_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_after_a_long/
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my best friend killed himself in january, he was really my only friend and the only good thing in my life and i’m still not even remotely okay. i didn’t see the point in starving because i was planning on following him so i just ate and drank everything that i’d been denying myself for years. i was so numb and empty and it lasted for months and then as i slowly started to wake up i just couldn’t get back into the rhythm of restricting or fasting even though i used to go without for a week easily or eat one 300 calorie meal a day.
i weighed myself today and i’ve gained 4 stone. i was at my lowest ever weight, almost to my end goal weight, and now i’m 4 stone heavier and i have to acknowledge that i’ve done all this to myself, all the times i chose to order take out and fried food or drink 2 litre bottles of coke and just kept eating knowing what it was doing to me i just ignored it all and did it anyway and now i can’t stand to look at myself.
The state of my life
/u/Foureyedlemon [5"4 | SW: 130 | CW: 116.4 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:37:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x3bo8/the_state_of_my_life/
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Currently crying in the subway parking lot trying to decide if I want the calories or not. Before this I was crying deciding between caribou and subway
How do normal people just... eat? Without planning their day around it?
Chicken or the egg
/u/shortLavender [5'3"| cw:125 | gw1:120 | gw2:115]
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:26:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x37z6/chicken_or_the_egg/
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So... Did this crippling depression come with the eating disorder or did my eating disorder begin because of the depression. I swear the answer changes by the minute.
Just when I was starting to think that maybe I could make it the rest of the week without freaking out over every single calorie that has been planned (meeting with family tonight, tomorrow, and Friday. All pizza and sushi themed).
[Help] Does drinking a shit ton of water actually help with bloating from eating too much salt?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:25:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x37qa/does_drinking_a_shit_ton_of_water_actually_help/
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Need to get rid of this water retention fast. I'm bloated af and my face looks like a moon. Should I drown myself with water today or will it not do anything?
[Rant/Rave] I’m doing this
/u/cutetinytroll
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:22:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x36ow/im_doing_this/
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I have not been suffering with anxiety about food for this long for NOTHING. I’ve always had a hard time restricting even though I don’t even eat that much in the first place but today I realized that I’ve been stuck in this rut of not losing just stuck and it’s not fair. I will not continue suffering without RESULTS so I’m going into a full gear
☕️🖤💀
/u/SkinnyFatActually [5’2”| 98 lb|-12| F| 17.9]
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:16:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x34wh/_/
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https://i.redd.it/4gvt9z5ajcy11.jpg
when you fall asleep at 11p like an adult
/u/hera-fawcett
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:15:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x34kp/when_you_fall_asleep_at_11p_like_an_adult/
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BUT WAIT
your dumbass doesn't wake up till 1p on the busiest day of your life and you miss work, class, and aren't prepared for a test~
also, you haven't done laundry or filled your big ass brita filter full of water or meal planned for anything and your shit for tomorrow is alllll over the place.
this is fine. 🙃🙃🙃
Low calorie/High protein diet
/u/ThePinkPandaHugger [5'2 | CW:134 | BMI: 24.5 |-12 | F | GW: 100]
Created: Wed Nov 14 12:05:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x313s/low_caloriehigh_protein_diet/
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I can't seem to find any information on this. Is there any negative impact to doing a low calorie (low restriction) diet with high protein (getting most of my protein from Whey/protein shakes to keep the calories low)?
Thanks!
[Help] Are you suffering from period/hormone binge? I have something that might help
/u/IncredibleMsDee
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:58:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2yzg/are_you_suffering_from_periodhormone_binge_i_have/
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I know this isn't very inclusive since not everyone had a period, but for those who have a regular menstrual cycle, I think it would help. I downloaded "Hormone Horoscope" onto my Android and holy crap - it's awesome. You put in your cycle and it gives you a forecast into how your hormones will be acting that - including days where you're more likely to binge, bloat or the best days to stick to a diet. Honestly - for days where I fail completely at my 24 hour fast or binge, 99% of the time it's from hormones. It gives me some piece of mind that I'm not a huge failure AND I can plan cheat meals around it (ex. my week 3 is binge city, so plan to have a chip and dip fest that night and blame it on my cycle).
​
I mean, it helps with other stuff too lol but I beat myself up less knowing that it's a progesterone thing.
I feel like my relationship with food is going to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend.
/u/OtherEgg2018 [5.5" |HW 227 lbs|CW:153.6 lbs|GW: 120 lbs| 23F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:53:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2x8e/i_feel_like_my_relationship_with_food_is_going_to/
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I feel constantly guilty over the fact my eating is so difficult. I’m either binging in secret for weeks or restricting with over exercising. it’s a constant cycle of exhaustion. I feel like i’m always arguing about calories or eating out because I can only bring myself to have one restaurant a meal a week, and even that sometimes feels like too much. I feel like he’s going to resent for me for the fact we don’t go out very often when I know he wants too. I usually do all the cooking because im stressed he’ll use something with extra calories in the food, I always watch like a hawk (not that i think he would try to sabotage me or anything) I just can’t give up the control of knowing exactly what i’m eating. I weigh 80% of everything I have with a food scale. Sometimes I can see that i’m acting crazy about food and I don’t know what to do. He tries to be supportive and stuff I guess. I just feel like i’m ruining everything
TLDR:How do you guys cope with food / living with your partner and having meals together
[Rant/Rave] Great day at work for comments on my butt.
/u/three-almonds
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:43:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2twe/great_day_at_work_for_comments_on_my_butt/
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Not sure how we got on the subject, but one of my coworkers commented on how I had no ass. Second coworker chimed in to defend me I guess, and said “Are you kidding? She has a huge ass!”
I don’t even know which comment hurt more but okay
[Discussion] Goals?
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:38:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2s78/goals/
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I’m curious, what are your goals. Like goal weight, goal body feature (ankle bones, ribs etc.). When will you stop (if you will...)
For me I just want prominent ankle bones.
[Help] anti-deps and weight
/u/marbete
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:36:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2riw/antideps_and_weight/
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i just got prescribed zoloft because ya girl is just unstable and i’m ready to function and not want to off myself every day.
i have a chronic illness and tbh anything i eat makes me feel like shit bc of it. so i eat the simplest food and border on an ED but i still binge ben & jerry’s every once in awhile for good measure.
i really don’t want to gain weight on zoloft. i don’t care how vain that sounds. i finally feel free and happy in my body after losing extra weight i was carrying due to OTHER meds i was on.
i expressed concern to my doctor and she seemed kind of offended when i mentioned weight gain and she said it was just a stigma and that it was a naive comment. but like.... i know a girl who’s taken psych/SSRI meds and has *literally* gained 90lbs since starting them. i was also on paxil and gained 20lbs in two months when i was young. so i know it’s not just fucking naivety.
halp. i want to not be such a depressed mess and be able to function but i also don’t wanna gain. is it as simple as will-power, or will it actually alter my metabolism?
i hit a new GW, and was gonna reward myself with having my dad bring home Chick-fil-a (my kryptonite) but no no no, these are the moments i need to catch myself in lmao 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:28:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2p07/i_hit_a_new_gw_and_was_gonna_reward_myself_with/
---
https://i.redd.it/xi9gmmdpacy11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Lying to my psychiatrist
/u/LanayruPromenade [5'2" | cw: 126 | gw: 106]
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:16:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2kx1/lying_to_my_psychiatrist/
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Went to the psychiatrist today. I told her I've been taking me meds (I haven't); that I've been feeling great and had no thoughts of suicide ideation (I haven't); that I haven't been purging (I have) and that life, while arduous at times is improving (it isn't).
​
The only thing I said that was remotely honest was that I haven't been sleeping well. She said she would subscribe me some sleeping pills (she really shouldn't, but I might take her up on her offer).
​
I've been spiraling out of control, yet don't want to stop myself. This is the slowest form of suicide...
Sorta just dont wanna eat?
/u/drippycup
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2ja7/sorta_just_dont_wanna_eat/
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I would classify myself as bulimic, but I ve had like 1000 calories maybe in the past 3 days and am almost at my gw. I think the trick is to just hate yourself and cry inside a lot? I dont wanna eat i sorta just hope i get struck by lighting. Weird flex but ig I'll take it lol
Tracking my cycle...
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | 27 |CW 118.6 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:10:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2iyw/tracking_my_cycle/
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I just used my r/proed post history to track my monthly cycle. LOL the shame. I need a period tracking app.
Or maybe I should just start adding it to my flair :P (I kid)
About to shame eat an entire Little Skeezers cheese pizza
/u/mmblarg
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:09:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2isi/about_to_shame_eat_an_entire_little_skeezers/
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2000 cals. On top of the 1500 cals worth of donuts that broke today. Why am I telling you all? Because I need this to be more real than “oh ho ho hah ha haaaaaa ED brain, lalala it’s fine!”
No it’s not fine. I fucked up. I will keep fucking up. I will never be happy. And even though i could maybe salvage this day, maybe fast for the rest of it, i know I can’t. I can’t win in an argument with myself....
[Discussion] Discovered a nifty binge killer last night
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | CW 116.2 | BMI 19.0 | HW 136 | LW 90 | 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2ic3/discovered_a_nifty_binge_killer_last_night/
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This might not sound too exciting to any of you, or maybe you have much better suggestions, but anyways.
I was stuck in an I-need-to-empty-my-apartment-of-all-chocolate loop and was about to open an old box of those Nature Valley protein granola bars (190 a piece for only 9g of protein?? fuck off) when I had an idea!
**Rice cake (35) + Trader Joe's Better'n Peanut Butter Spread (50 cal per tbsp)**
I usually don't like the stuff on an everyday basis cause it's a lot sweeter than regular pb, but that was PERFECT for when I wanted to eat a bunch of filling, sickeningly sweet shit. I only had one at the end of my mini-binge and it was enough to make me too full to continue. 85-100 cal was soooo much better than the 760 I was about to plow through.
What're y'alls favorite "binge killers"?
[Rant/Rave] Baffled at the kind of ads Instagram chooses to show me...
/u/FlabbyWhiteThighs [5'4"|~117|23F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:06:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2hpm/baffled_at_the_kind_of_ads_instagram_chooses_to/
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SO. MUCH. SHAPEWEAR. Spanx galore, in every other ad for the past month or so. It’s excessive!!! I’m not underweight yet, but I’ve always been below average, people have always called me “tiny,” and I wear XS and size 0. It’s kind of ridiculous and childish to have this kind of reaction but I feel almost offended that Instagram has decided that I need to see these ads, and I wish I knew what’s triggering their algorithm to make them pop up all the time. Kind of does a number on my self esteem. I just want to know why!
Also, I don’t really like to see naked bellies flopping in and out of shapewear every time I scroll through Instagram. Maybe that’s “fatphobic” or just the ED talking but it’s a little disturbing to see in that context.
[Rant/Rave] I didn't break!
/u/scaledrops [5'8" | CW: 186.8 | -10.2 | i do art | F16]
Created: Wed Nov 14 11:00:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2fpi/i_didnt_break/
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Small kinda brag on myself!!
I'm weakwilled, especially when it comes to my own goals. I ate more than I wanted to yesterday because I ate my lunch (ricecakes) before lunch and ended up buying something from the lunchline
Today I put my foot down and told myself I wouldnt do it again and i didnt!
I even went to buy a diet pop and wasnt tempted by all the food. I've never been happier with myself.
god bless my goals and me actually trying
goes to show past me that i actually can accomplish things.
:D
Does anyone else get SUPER triggered when people say starving yourself/fasting doesn't work???
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 24F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:50:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2cjs/does_anyone_else_get_super_triggered_when_people/
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Shit like this:
https://i.redd.it/eax7hciioby11.jpg
"starving yourself doesn't help you lose weight, it inevitably leads to a binge, teehee"
bitch
It's just so patronizing. That's not what fuckin triggers a binge (for me). You know what does more than anything? Letting myself start eating.
I can't stand an image macro telling me how I should eat to lose weight, let alone other people. People don't know wtf they're talking about, damn
Why you binge and how you can stop it.
/u/thehealthmentor
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:50:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2cag/why_you_binge_and_how_you_can_stop_it/
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The reason you binge eat is that your emotions point you towards it, your emotions control your entire body when they're fired, that's why you can't control your body when an urge appears
The way to fix this is to change where your emotions point you towards, what do you want? what do you want specifically your body to look like? what benefits you will get from it? why do you want it?
Those questions will get your emotions flowing in the opposite direction that they are now, and in that state of mind you would not binge if food is presented in front of you. Don't you have some situations where you could control yourself? that is why.
Then what you have to do is to make that emotional state your default pattern in food, you do that by writing what you want healthwise and why you want it, imagine yourself with the body you desire visualize it every day, read affirmations in present of your dream body, self correct without judgement instantly if you fail (If you binge for some reasons, don't beat yourself up because if you do you will get more stuck and you will cause yourself to repeat that behavior, just say "I don't want this, this is what I want and why I want it"
Once your default pattern of thinking and feeling in front of food becomes that of a healthy lean person, the problem is solved.
It's almost all about emotion.
[Rant/Rave] i ate a pint of REAL ice cream for lunch
/u/lightningmcqueef69
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:44:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2amn/i_ate_a_pint_of_real_ice_cream_for_lunch/
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and i loved it. it fit in my calories and i enjoyed it but now i am overwhelmed with regret, and i know i only wanted it because i'm (hopefully yikes) about to start my period, and it's cold outside, why the fuck did i choose ice cream? i can't imagine eating anything for the next few days without feeling absolutely disgusting so i guess it's time for #reactive fasting y'all. i just want to get back to my lw by the end of this year but i keep Fucking Myself Over.
ps if you were wondering, it was blue bell cookie two step. 720 for the pint
[Rant/Rave] (NSFW) People fetishizing you for your size.
/u/vanillabake
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:43:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x2a49/nsfw_people_fetishizing_you_for_your_size/
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Honestly, I thought once I got skinny I would be able to find a boyfriend. Someone who thought I was pretty and liked me for who I was. At the time, I thought it was just my weight stopping me from finding a date. I used to be 180 pounds at 5’4.
Today, I’m hovering around 102-105 pounds. I tried dating again. Like I thought, there would be more men potentially interested in me. I got asked out at parties, by coworkers, online...but a large majority of them were interested in how small I was. If it was online especially. Endless inbox letters saying “wow, you’re so small and cute!” Or “oh my god I’m sooo in love with skinny women 😍 I could just pick you up!” At first i took it as a compliment, since I clearly wasn’t fat anymore. I could be someone a man would love to be seen with.
Eventually, it got darker. Once guys would mention about going on a date, all they would focus on is how small I was. They would always try to pick me up, and compare me to a doll. I’d have them wrap their hands around my waist and I got so uncomfortable. Or wanting to call me baby girl, like I was some sort of child. All I could think was that this is so gross. I at least had enough self respect to get up and leave when I wanted to.
But I didn’t know that there were so many guys who wanted to be with a smaller woman to feel “big” and in their words “to toss around and be the boss of.” Its so disgusting. I don’t even want to know what was going on in their heads sexually. I look young for my age too. Ive even had a guy ask to see my drivers licence because he didn’t believe me. He said “I don’t want to sleep with an underage girl by accident, but you’re 21 and look like that?? 😍”
Barf. I felt like losing weight would finally let me get a boyfriend. All it did was attract gross pedophiles (sorry I know this is not the proper terminology). But yet I don’t want to gain weight. Anyone else feel like this?
I really didn't think I looked that bad
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | +7.6 | LW: 107.8 | GW: 109]
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:30:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x25xj/i_really_didnt_think_i_looked_that_bad/
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So I gained ~12 pounds since my LW. I didn't think I looked all that bad since I'm still fitting into my "skinny" clothes, even though they're now a little bit tighter on me. (To be fair, at -12 pounds I had to start buying smaller sizes, which I didn't get a chance to.) For Halloween I was easily able to purchase a size 2 (vanity size????) jumpsuit. I looked good with my posed pictures.
But someone just posted candid shots of an event I helped with and I look massive in those pictures. Also, some of those shots show my now ex flirting with another girl. I saw them getting chummy at the event, but I was too busy to internalize it. Grrrrrrr. But at least I already dumped him.
[Rant/Rave] The Move and Collateral Damage
/u/crookedlypoetic
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:27:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x24u7/the_move_and_collateral_damage/
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Alright y'all the move to Montana went swimmingly! We are here and settled into our adorable log cabin (yes we are in a legit cabin its awesome) and the bunnies are doing great! Due to the move I did have to stop low restriction and I have been between 1000 and 1500 each day for about a week. When we got here I had gained 13 (!!!!!) pounds. I know I know its water weight cause I am still pretty big but over the last two days I have dropped 8 pounds of water thankfully and I have about 5 pounds to go until I am back at my low of 185. Overall not bad but jumping on the scale and getting that +13 scale reading was not fun. Wish me luck on getting back!
25 cal sugar free chai tea latte
/u/saltsplendasriracha [5'7"| CW 121 | GW 113 | +8 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:19:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x22dz/25_cal_sugar_free_chai_tea_latte/
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https://i.redd.it/toj5r8qdyby11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I broke my knuckle!
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 10:12:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1zy4/i_broke_my_knuckle/
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I punched my dashboard and cracked it, breaking my middle knuckle! Why, you ask? Because my boyfriend FLIPPED at me for not eating! I’m apparently childish and irresponsible and stupid! Well he clearly is right! At least I have another reason to hate myself now!
I wanted peanut butter with my apple.
/u/coldbrewkweeen [5'8 | BMI: 18.2 | CW: 120 | GW: 115 | SW: 140]
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:55:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1u7v/i_wanted_peanut_butter_with_my_apple/
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Was feeling shaky so I figured it would be ok to splurge on peanut butter since I need the protein.
Grabbed the jar and remembered that it’s 180 calories per 2 tablespoons.
Couldn’t do it.
Was feeling panicky and about to resign myself to eating my sad, naked apple slices by themselves when I had the idea to sprinkle cinnamon on top.
Holy shit guys. It was so good. Such a simple hack, but I’m never eating apple slices plain again. So shoutout to cinnamon for making my taste buds happy and salvaging what would have been a frustrating experience.
Hope you lovely people are taking care of yourselves today.
I can't wait to go home next week...
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 150 | GW: 125| BMI: 21.75 |]
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:47:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1rom/i_cant_wait_to_go_home_next_week/
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because I've lost a noticeable amount of weight since I last saw my family (like a month ago) and I can't wait to see how shocked they are.
It's pretty messed up but I'm tryna live in my truth today.
[Rant/Rave] scared of recovery
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:37:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1oen/scared_of_recovery/
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im scared in general.
im scared of how my family will treat me (the first time my dad forced me to eat a plate full of spaguetti that i didnt eat so i spent the night on the table), im scared how my friends will treat me, im scared of the recovery belly (the first time i did it i was bloated all the time), im scared of not being able to work because i'll have to go to multiple appointments again every week (i really need the money).
im even scared of saying too much to the therapist and ending up on inpatient.
recovery is just so scary you know? i dont even know if i want to do it anymore.
I compiled a list of 35 weight loss pills that actually work, based on real studies.
/u/enthrilled
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:35:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1nrd/i_compiled_a_list_of_35_weight_loss_pills_that/
---
As a health&fitness blog writer, I started trying to advertise some of my first pieces on some facebook groups because I thought everyone would read them and aw my gawd how lucky I'd be.
I joined a few of the most human-filled ones, and started checking what the people were talking about while also gloriously spamming them, and I honestly couldn't believe my eyes.
People were drinking and/or consuming **countless "shortcut" products** that were supposed to help them lose weight while intoxicating their bodies in the most idiotic and harmful ways. The one thing they wouldn't do was g**et out of bed, eat a salad, and maybe take a walk for 20 minutes a day.**
They would prefer some sort of *magically poisonous tea* that was supposed to help them lose weight while doing nothing instead of actually altering some of the bad habits they built up over the years in order to lose weight.
One of those products was guava leaves tea. I never tried it, but the stories these people were telling - **how they feel awful, are sweating the entire day, are vomiting and have diarrhea, but they're losing pounds so that's ok,** touched me to the core.
I decided to research this topic of weight loss pills through (I'm not affiliated with them in any way)[ examine.com](https://examine.com/) \- if you haven't heard about this website, it's one of the most amazing websites I've had the honor to come across for anyone who takes supplements of any kind.
These guys compiled countless of studies into simple conclusions regarding one supplement or another - the ones that work and do a certain thing, and the ones that don't.
I decided to curate this website for the weight loss pills that actually worked and could help with weight loss while they're still healthy and worthy of consumption, and I realized one thing - most of the supplements that promise quick weight loss will harm your body in one way or another.
**Supplements are supplements and should be seen as such - an extra mile for every 10 miles worth of dieting and (hopefully) exercise. A bonus that's aligned with the other efforts you're making towards weight loss, not the way towards it.**
I found 35 weight loss pills studies have shown that are actually linked to weight loss using examine. **There may be more than these, and what I'm writing isn't future-proof at all given the constantly-changing nature of science.** But the evidence so far shows that these actually help in losing an extra pound or two per month while also keeping your body **clean and bulletproof.**
I won't go in-depth on each and every one of them, I'll just give the rate of increase in weight loss for those of which I could find it and a few words about them.
Here they are:
* **Resveratrol:** 3.2 extra pounds lost per month. Powerful anti-oxidant that shreds fat through an increase in thermogenesis.
* **Capsaicin:** The torturing element of hot peppers shows an 8% increase in weight loss, and it also works through thermogenesis. Best when taken 1 hour before exercise.
* **Evodia Fruit:** Effects are similar to Capsaicin, but it also reduces fat cell formation. The increase in weight loss rate is unknown, but there's one cool study about it - two groups of mice were given obesity-causing diets, and one of them was also supplemented with Evodia. The one with no supplementation had reached obesity, while the other lost 10% general mass and had 28% less perirenal fat (fat around the kidney)
* **Garlic:** Garlic is capable of softly increasing the secretion of noradrenaline while also being an overall wonder-supplement for body balance. You can find odorless softgels, which I find best for supplementation.
* **Fish Oil:** Isn't much of a weight loss pill per se, but it reduces stress and inflammation and therefore makes it easier to lose weight.
* **Spirulina:** 7% more weight loss was registered in the spirulina-supplementation group compared to the placebo group. Gym-goers should be aware of the fact that spirulina protein has shown better hypertrophy in some studies when compared to casein protein, so you might want to check into that.
* **Yerba Mate:** One Yerba Mate and one Placebo group were put onto a 12-week program, with the results of 150 cm3 shredded from the Yerba Mate group’s visceral fat while the Placebo group had an increase of 200 cm3
* **Alpha-GPC:** Most of the effects of Alpha-GPC are directed towards a better cognition and support a decent upgrade in performance. Although its great effects are not focused on fat burning, studies show it does promote fat burning 2 hours after consumption.
* **Yohimbine:** Works by increasing adrenaline levels in the body and lowering some regulation processes which usually suppress fat burning. 2% more fat was lost after 3 weeks.
* **Eleutherococcus Senticosus:** a.k.a Siberian Ginseng is an adaptogenic herb which has been shown to increase work capacity during physically intense activities by preserving your body's reserves. It also promotes fat oxidation.
* **Ashwagandha:** This one's called the "king of Ayurvedic medicine". Being an adaptogen, it will make it much easier for you to get going with your diet and stick to it. An "adaptogen" is what makes your body and mind adapt easier and with less stress to new things you get going in your life. 2% more weight was lost by the Ashwagandha group compared to placebo.
* **5-HTP:** This one's also not specifically targeted towards fat loss, but it's the precursor to serotonin a.k.a the neurotransmitter involved in triggering positive emotions. Besides lowering appetite and therefore contributing to weight loss, the happy-state it brings also helps by making this path easier to go along.
* **Black Cumin:** Spice frequently used in traditional medicine. Although it doesn’t have strong effects, it has many beneficial ones which make it a good tool to spice your diet with. Among them, of course, it’s been proven to promote weight loss by reducing appetite.
* **7-Keto DHEA:** 7-Keto DHEA was studied under a diet and exercise routine. The group taking 7-Keto DHEA lost 3 more 3kgs than those who didn't. Keep in mind that studies are not clear if this effect happens whether you diet and exercise or not. 2.88 extra kgs lost in comparison to the placebo group.
* **Coleus Forskohlii:** Herb traditionally used in Ayurvedic Medicine. It has shown promising effects as a fat burner and testosterone-booster. Its effects are most suited for men. 2.8% BMI reduction compared to placebo group.
* **Eurycoma Longifolia Jack:** Herb used as an aphrodisiac with pro-erectile and libido increasing effects. Although it’s mechanisms for fat loss are not completely known, progress has been noticed. It has also shown fantastic anti-estrogenic effects, putting itself forth as a top supplement for men.
* **Grapefruit:** is a tasty punch of active enzymes which promote fat burning by increasing metabolic rate. It has helped me throughout my weight loss journey and I must say, it’s a great supplement overall. Diet pills are usually called by its wonder compound name, **Hesperidin**. Over 2 weeks, 1.1kg more shredded through pills, 1.5kg through juice, 1.6kg through whole fruit.
* **Gynostemma Pentaphyllum (Southern Ginseng):** Works by raising the metabolic rate, making sure you destroy those calories (and hence, fat cells) faster than you normally would. Up to 8% more weight loss compared to placebo
* **Pterostilbene:** Kind of a *better Resveratrol*, with much better potency in most cases and better absorption. Having been only recently found, there are not many studies regarding it, yet the results look promising to say the least.
* **Rose Hip:** I cannot guarantee for this supplement, but it has some good benefits nonetheless, including an improvement in Skin Elasticity which helps if you have a lot of weight to shred and want to prevent loose skin. It's not thoroughly studied, but one study says that it'll increase weight loss with an extra kg per month.
* **Caralluma Fimbriata:** Its effects seem to appear only after around 1 month of supplementation. Although other benefits are unknown, it's a known-to-be great as an appetite suppressant.
* **Caffeine:** Some drink it out of love, some use it out of need. Nonetheless, this supplement has some great benefits to bring to the table, including thermogenesis (hence making you burn fat) and mental stimulation. Burns an extra 12-32 kcals/hour (So for 4 hours of an increased metabolism daily, that translates in 560 kcal per week), yet it only works if paired with a healthy diet and exercise program. 24 weeks of 200 mg supplementation brought no fat loss alone.
* **Berberine:** Seems to have anti-diabetic effects, while also promoting weight loss by reducing the development of fat cells and increasing their usage. Make sure you don't take these diet pills if you have diabetes, as they can mess up your blood sugar levels. 13% decrease in Body Mass Index
* **L-Carnitine:** It promotes usage of fat cells as an energy source, therefore being a great fat burn agent. ALCAR only works for those who have a deficiency in it.
* **Green Tea Catechins:** Specifically EGCG which is the most potent of the catechins. Amazing fat burner through thermogenesis and suppresses appetite as well. 5 more pounds lost in 90 days compared to placebo.
* **Green Coffee Extract:** Dr. Oz kinda exaggerated this one's effects, but it does provide a small increase in weight loss - 5 more pounds were lost over 12 weeks.
* **Guarana:** Has a higher content of caffeine than coffee beans and its properties are mainly derived from this. It has shown promising results as a fat loss agent, yet studies are still unclear if this is due to any special compounds or the caffeine itself.
* **Yacon:** Also known as the “diet potato” with the taste of a pear, is usually consumed as a syrup. Studies regarding it have shown some benefits towards intestinal health, with a slight appetite suppressing effect.
* **Saffron:** It seems to boost metabolism while also suppressing appetite. The downside is the way it plays with estrogen, potentially messing up both men and women. Wouldn't recommend you taking this supplement for long periods of time. Although estrogen is great for women, it seems to be linked to breast cancer when there's too much estrogen for too long. As always, play safely with every supplement you take.
* **Melatonin:** Supplementation is mainly used to improve the quality of sleep, but it brings great benefits including a slight reduction in BMI. This is most likely a side-effect caused by the better performance of the metabolism which is brought by a quality of sleep improvement. 0.2 BMI decrease compared to placebo.
* **Cissus Quadrangularis:** Cissus is mainly used by athletes for joint and bone health, but it's shown promise towards being a fat loss agent.
* **Fucoxanthin:** Promotes weight loss with a delay due to the need of a build-up inside the fat cells. Nonetheless, its results are quite promising and it might be a good supplement to add to your diet. 5 more kgs were lost over 16 weeks and an 11% decrease in liver fat was noted.
* **Licorice:** Chinese Medicine traditionally uses **Licorice** to treat digestive problems, while also increasing the quality of life. Supplementation has had great results towards weight loss, yet it does bring its downsides. Make sure you don't abuse this supplement, doing so has led to death. 10% reduction in body fat noted after 2 months.
* **Leptin, Ghrelin, Adiponectin:** Now, this is more of an honorable mention but it does deliver very well. I've had a leap of faith towards it and decided to buy this product and was quite amazed at the results. I usually pumped my leptin up through weekly cheat meals and while they did help, they would also damage my Calories In/Calories Out ratio, therefore one or two days of the week would end up unproductive. It's a product by Douglas laboratories I found on Amazon.
* **Turmeric:** In a nutshell, Turmeric is an anti-inflammatory and anti-oxidant supplement that provides you with an nourishment to your body. It brings better body balance and therefore, fewer cravings and more of an easy journey towards fat loss.
And there you have it!
I'm not calling this "the ultimate resource on weight loss pills" because I'm a self-absorbed prick, I do so because I couldn't find any other resource that offers as much detail as I did in the 20 days I spent on the subject.
I tried to keep it as short and sweet as possible for each of the supplements, and I hopefully managed to. If you'd like to find out more about each of them, such as their **other benefits, toxicity levels(although not many have them), how to take** them and the products I would recommend, you can find the **8000-words** post here:[ https://underloot.com/ultimate-resource-weight-loss-pills-that-actually-work/](https://underloot.com/ultimate-resource-weight-loss-pills-that-actually-work/)
**Disclaimer:** It **contains affiliate links** towards Amazon for each of the products.
Hope I could change a few minds on the matter. Wish you all the best on your journey, or congrats if you got there already!
i ate a muffin
/u/Disastrous_Example
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:23:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1jvl/i_ate_a_muffin/
---
there were muffins at my local grocery store yesterday, and they smelt so good and i haven’t had muffins probably since my ed started two years ago and really wanted one. there was no nutrition label, and i thought i wouldn’t find one, but then i googled them today and was able to find the nutrition info!!!
they were 400 cals, but i restrict to 600-1200 so it was fine and so worth it and i’m so happy and wanted to share lol
(i’ll probably buy one tomorrow too it was sooo good)
(and sorry about my english and lack of commas and periods and all that, i’m just really excited and i’m from sweden lol)
almost passed out a mile away from my house lmao
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:22:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1jjm/almost_passed_out_a_mile_away_from_my_house_lmao/
---
been keeping my calories below 300 lately and last night almost had 600 so as soon as i got up i forced myself to go walk around my neighborhood a few miles, didn’t realize how dehydrated i was and not drinking anything between waking up and leaving didn’t help. felt like the longest mile ever back to my house in the sun lol, at least i got 4miles in :/
Involuntary treatment
/u/throwaway-637
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:20:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1iz0/involuntary_treatment/
---
I'm fucking 19 years old and have a bmi of FUCKING 16.6, I'm literally just a few kg underweight, yet my GP still wants me to go to a clinic, either that, or he's treathening to involuntarily admit me to a psychiatric hospital, because "I should be above 50kg/110lb" (I'm 1.63m/5'4"). But involuntary commitment to a psychiatric hospital is only possible if I'm in acute danger for myself, which I can't be cause my weight isn't that low. My heart and blood pressure is good too. He said he's gonna check on me and follow me (he's literally gonna come to my house), because he wants me to be above 50kg. I've already been in treatment before. I wanted and was trying to LOSE weight, but if my weight gets low enough, he would be able to get me admitted to a hospital. But I don't think he's gonna let me go until I GAIN weight either, which I can't do. There's no way I'm gaining weight. I already feel horrible enough about myself. I'd kill myself before gaining weight. I don't know what the fuck to do. I've been crying the whole day. Has anyone been in a similar situation before or does anyone know what I could do?
Fuck periods
/u/dorisbloodyholliday
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:19:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1imf/fuck_periods/
---
I know we get a rant like this just about every week, but this one is mine. I missed my period the last two months restricting, losing weight. I felt great, was reaching goals. For no reason at all, it's back this month. I feel bloated, I'm gushing blood like a fucking waterfall, and I want to eat everything. I feel at least ten pounds heavier than I did a week ago. I don't ever weigh myself during my period, but I'm terrified of weighing myself when this one is over. Usually I can be hungry and eat something low-cal and be content. Not this week! I have no self-control and then I just feel way too full, even after eating a moderate sized meal. Gahh, how do people resist eating when they're on the rag?? I hope this shit ends soon. I don't feel like this is my body at all. Body checks are fucking awful. I just know when I weigh-in again I'm going to cry.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Got a taste of recovered life
/u/deanhipchester [5' | lmao | 21F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:11:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1fye/got_a_taste_of_recovered_life/
---
I spent the last week at my long distance boyfriend's house and it was so nice. I ate whatever I wanted/whatever he had planned and I tried my best not to regret it. There was no forced exercise and I only purged twice (not even proper purges, but lighter ones!!). He also has no scale so it was a week of not weighing myself. I thought I'd be so much heavier but I lost 1.4LBS!!!
It was so nice and I'm sad now because I know I'll probably end up back on my bullshit.
[Help] Anyone used one of these steppers? Help!
/u/dethleib [5’3 | 125 | GW 96 | 32F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1ffo/anyone_used_one_of_these_steppers_help/
---
https://imgur.com/IL0X1cM
I've lost five pounds in a week!
/u/AzraelUaDuibhne
Created: Wed Nov 14 09:07:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1emi/ive_lost_five_pounds_in_a_week/
---
And it's not enough. It'll never be enough.
This past week had been really shitty and I hate myself for not losing the weight faster. God, I'm such a fatass 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Craving SMELLS of food??
/u/lavender___cat
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:50:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1918/craving_smells_of_food/
---
I have been craving food smells, but not to eat. It's so weird. Last night I had intense craving for the smell of a greasy-spoon diner- bacon, sausage, coffee. Now I'm craving the smell of spicy buffalo wings and fried onions and peppers, the smell of a hoagie roll. The smell of warm cheez whiz??
Anybody else have this? Should I take vitamins??? What would I be lacking based on this? The foods I'm craving to smell seems to be very fattening, but homey comfort foods.
Orrrr I'm just a nut.
i'm gonna be a healthy weight by the time i go home for christmas and it's making me feel so fucking powerful.
/u/throoaweigh [5'7 | fat | 22lbs down | FtM]
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:40:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x15us/im_gonna_be_a_healthy_weight_by_the_time_i_go/
---
i am 7 pounds away from breaking through the low end of overweight into the high end of healthy, and i have pretty much exactly a month to do it. at the rate i've been losing, this is gonna be super easy. it's not my ugw, it's not even close and i have a long way to go, but the idea of hitting that first milestone is fueling me. i was fat as all hell for christmas last year...so this year my present to myself is a new body lmao.
come on ladies let's avoid this bread
[Help] Acutane?
/u/andinev
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x14vp/acutane/
---
This is hardly ED related, I’ll delete it if I need to. My skin is horrible and it cleared up for a few months but now is becoming inflamed and I have a lot of cystic acne. Have any of you been on acutane and if you were how did it affect you? I feel like my ED really fucks with my skin ( makes it super dry and itchy) if any of you share this same experience and we’re on acutane did it help? Or if you have any other solutions for dry heavily acne prone and scarred skin please recommend them to me :( my already non existent self confidence is suffering. Btw I’m way past puberty and hormone shifts and all that, I’ve been dealing with terrible cystic acne for over 8 years.
[Discussion] How do people without EDs weigh themselves? what’s “real weight”
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:30:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x12eu/how_do_people_without_eds_weigh_themselves_whats/
---
My co-workers talked about their weight today and one of them said she weighs around the same as me and the other one told her that she’s almost 10 kilos heavier.
The first one is way skinnier than me, I feel? I mean, maybe her bones are heavier or something but she has a super flat stomach and doesn’t exercise at all, so it can’t be muscle weight. She has to be at least five pounds less than me, even though she’s a tiny bit taller.
The other one doesn’t look that much heavier either. I thought I was the same size as her actually. She is a bit chubby/overweight but I thought we had the same measurements?? 10 kilos is a lot for our frame. She’s maybe 5’3 (I’m 5’2).
It doesn’t make any sense to me.
I wonder if they step on the scale clothed and at the end of a day? Or maybe they weigh themselves after eating a lot for a few days and are just bloated and full of water and food weight? Do I maybe have the worlds lightest organs and bones and that’s why I look fatter than everyone else even though they weigh more??
I logg my weight every day but I don’t see the results as my “real weight”, somehow. Is that wrong? My real weight is what I get after going to the bathroom, being naked, not having eaten that day and best case scenario, after taking a shit the day before.
(Now that I think of it that’s probably too flattering to be real.)
So what IS my real weight?? How do you see it? How do other people you know that don’t have an ED see it?
When do you stop purging?
/u/puppysnoutt
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:25:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x1115/when_do_you_stop_purging/
---
When do u call it quits? do you feel like you got everything or most of it up? can u do it hands free? do u think the first thing you ate would be the last thing u see or nah? im so curious about everyone else's experience
Discover The Shocking True Story Of A 26-Year Old Religious Newlywed Who Couldn't Do The Deed...
/u/TamiOsorio
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:13:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0x7o/discover_the_shocking_true_story_of_a_26year_old/
---
https://twitter.com/SoulRetweet/status/1062622919535190016
Going to a new therapist today!
/u/plshelpsomeone [5’4 | ?? No weigh November| 21.8 | 4lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:09:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0vxo/going_to_a_new_therapist_today/
---
Does anyone know if they have to report it to your parents if your a minor and have an eating disorder. It’s not obvious that I have one because I’m still in a healthy weight range, and I’m deciding if I want to mention it to her. Advice?
[Discussion] dae feel like binging but know nothing will satisfy you?
/u/chili_jones
Created: Wed Nov 14 08:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0td0/dae_feel_like_binging_but_know_nothing_will/
---
ive been like this for the past two days and now i just keep having minor binges :( and i can’t get anything done bc i’m just obsessing over eating and not eating......-
[Help] I cannot sleep :(
/u/lisztomaniac2
Created: Wed Nov 14 07:49:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0q3v/i_cannot_sleep/
---
I'm finally starting to get the hang or restriction again after falling off the wagon, and I cannot sleep anymore. Damn this is frustrating
[Rant/Rave] So hungry I want to cry
/u/_Pulltab_ [67"| 151.2| 23.7| -55 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 07:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0m9z/so_hungry_i_want_to_cry/
---
Went to the gym fasted and bonked. Came home and made a small protein shake and ate a boiled egg. Now I am going to fight myself all day to not continue to stuff my gob.
My daughter is making eggs and toast for breakfast and the smell is literally killing me.
I just want to go to bed and pretend I never need to eat again.
[Help] Body Dysmorphia at it’s worse...(TMI)
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Wed Nov 14 07:33:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0li7/body_dysmorphia_at_its_worsetmi/
---
I have always struggled with BDD because of my ed and gender issues but today it is at it’s worse and I don’t think it’s simply bdd maybe I just am fat. I’ve been restricting and working out consistently for the past two and a half weeks, before then I maintained a healthy calorie intake but now I just want to lose...
But despite working for it really hard I’ve maintained still and even worse after weeks of a “ghost” period (before all this it had been two and a half months since I last got my period,) I finally got it and I’m bloated all to hell. I truly have never been so bloated or have felt so sick from menstruating. I know I’m probably retaining a lot of water weight rn but I just feel so fat and disgusting and I don’t want to be out in public but I work more than one job and I go to school full time so I can’t really hide away. I’m wearing over sized clothes to hide away but I know I still look bloated and sick.
I just really wanted to vent about this because I was already suicidal but this is just making me feel worse and now I’m involuntarily fasting because I’m so greedy. I don’t deserve food and I’m bloated to the point that I feel like I’ve eaten lolll
If you know ways of getting rid/lessening bloat please help, it’s actually physically uncomfortable
[Rant/Rave] I hate scales
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Wed Nov 14 07:24:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0j0i/i_hate_scales/
---
Honestly it’s my fault for weighing myself daily (or multiple times a day) but the scale has been my enemy lately. I’ve been doing well and shouldn’t be gaining... I’m definitely under my TDEE, even after adding a bunch of “what-if calories”
It says I weigh 3 more pounds today and the rational part of me knows that’s probably water weight and not having pooped in 10+ days but it still just started off my day in a shit way.
Thoughts on the scale? Accuracy?
bf & i are driving 600miles to spend thanksgiving week (M-F) w/ his mom and i’m terrified
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Wed Nov 14 07:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0i9z/bf_i_are_driving_600miles_to_spend_thanksgiving/
---
my bf and i live 2hrs apart so i only see him every other week for 2-3 days at a time and i already have a hard to keeping my cals low without being questioned then
and on top of that he told me his mom loves to cook so we will probably have almost all our meals there with her. i’m just stressed- how will i track calories for a home made meal? should i bring
a scale at the bottom of my suitcase to weigh myself?
and i never met his mom- what if i’m not pretty enough? or she thinks i’m too fat for her son??
like i’m so excited to go to a new state, especially where there’s cooler weather than florida, and to meet his mom for the first time but it’s just so hard to get outside of all my negative thoughts
[Rant/Rave] I Felt Pretty Good About Myself For The Past Month
/u/bodybycoke
Created: Wed Nov 14 07:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0fg4/i_felt_pretty_good_about_myself_for_the_past_month/
---
But don’t worry lmao I’m back. Longest joke ever amirite.
[Help] Oh my god I'm fucking balding
/u/800goat [5'6 | 125 | 20.2 | -20 | Ftm]
Created: Wed Nov 14 07:07:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0e9n/oh_my_god_im_fucking_balding/
---
https://i.redd.it/z3wsc3460by11.jpg
my ultimate secret to fasting 🙃
/u/taikutsuu [5'10'' | cw: 127, -25 | 18.1 bmi | gw: 105 | 19f]
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:56:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0axq/my_ultimate_secret_to_fasting/
---
be a low-functioning depressed piece of shit, let your whole apartment go to shit and don't do the dishes. if your fridge is too disgusting to keep shit in it, your stovetop is dirty and you have nothing to put your food in, you won't eat!!
haha!!!!!
[Discussion] DAE have absolutely unreasonable safe/fear foods?
/u/palebabygirl
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:53:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0a2v/dae_have_absolutely_unreasonable_safefear_foods/
---
I'm just sitting here on the verge of tears because i WANT to break my fast with a quest bar but my dumbass brain is telling me if i eat that it'll ruin all of the progress of my fast and i'll get fat and DIE. But if i wait until i get off of work and go walk to get a vegan burger? Fuck me up fam that's totally a-okay. I just?? W H Y? When i go to the store i spend soooo much on low cal, high-protein "safe foods" that i never end up eating and end up feeling absolutely terrified of and instead eat like 2 pints of coconut milk ice cream on a whim. I don't understand??? It's fine, i'm fine :))) Im not crying, you're crying (we're all crying)
[Help] Have my first dietician appointment soon... any ideas on what to expect?
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 156lbs | 23.40 | -29lbs |]
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:52:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x09ue/have_my_first_dietician_appointment_soon_any/
---
They work within the same clinic as my therapist so will have all my notes, I just don't know what to expect
fast heartbeat and anxiety while restricting?
/u/peachsy
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:46:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x0883/fast_heartbeat_and_anxiety_while_restricting/
---
hi everyone, i am on day 3 of restricting for the first time (coming from a place of b/p). late last night and now when i wake up this morning my heart is beating really fast and my anxiety has spiked. i am a little stressed out in my personal life so that obviously relates to it. but i’m
not even doing an extreme restriction like 500-800 calories on non-workout days and more when I do.
Wondering if maybe my heart beat and chest pain is in my head? Or maybe I need to be taking vitamins or something? Any advice would help
Bulimia.
/u/carrieunderwood4118
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:40:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x06o3/bulimia/
---
Fuck.
I lost 40lbs over the summer, I’m in a healthy weight range but my ED has gotten so incredibly bad and this time of year isn’t helping.
I had a Friendsgiving event yesterday, ate around 10,000 calories (of food that wasn’t even that good) and threw up 7 times, kept going back to eat more and throwing up.
God I feel so helpless.
[Tip] I found a way to COMPLETELY lose your appetite!
/u/milovsflo
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:37:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x05zl/i_found_a_way_to_completely_lose_your_appetite/
---
Travel 10000 kilometers to visit your long distance boyfriend, get stopped at the border, get told that you will have to go back to your country without seeing him. And they don’t even give you a reason.
Yeah, I’ve eaten less than 900 calories in total in the past three days. I don’t even feel hungry. I’m not starving myself on purpose to lose weight, I just.. can’t eat. I’m not drinking water or showering either, but details.
I hope it really does kill me.
/u/sriracha_henny [5'2"/157 | CW: 149/68 | UGW: 97/44 | LW: 129 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9x00y2/i_hope_it_really_does_kill_me/
---
I just don’t care, truly.
I’m so angry all the time. I have the best possible life circumstances and I ended up like this anyway. I’m destroying my relationship with my family with my constant snapping and emotional distance and honestly? I wish they would forget about me altogether. I finally, FINALLY started losing weight and I somehow gained it back in 3 days and maybe the weight loss was all a fluke? I was weighing myself when I was hungry and dehydrated? Who knows.
I hate myself. I cut myself and I can’t tell anyone. Everything I say comes out aggressive and short, and I feel like I’m powerless to stop. Part of me wants to isolate myself completely so I can destroy myself in peace and maybe kill myself, and part of me wants to make everyone hurt. There’s this ugly thing in me that wants to make everyone feel as terrible as I do all the time.
I have dreams where I start screaming and I can never stop. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll start crying or throw a tantrum in public and I literally won’t be able to pull myself together. I feel like I have no future and I’m delusional about my prospects. This is the kind of behavior that people try to correct in teens but when you’re an adult, no one assumes you’re being a huge bitch because you have something going on. They just rightfully assume you’re a huge bitch.
Sorry for this wall of text. Maybe someone can relate. All I know is, nothing will ever improve until I lose the weight. I know this from my own experience. As for my newfound permanent anger, maybe that’s something I can compensate for by cutting off all human contact and making my outside as pretty as possible.
Thanks for listening.
Being hella sleep deprived and restricting...
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:11:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzyyx/being_hella_sleep_deprived_and_restricting/
---
Means I nearly poured Coke Zero over my salad rather than some salt. *nearly* thank GOD I would’ve cried if I lost both my salad and Coke Zero lmao
[Goal] Reached my first goal!!
/u/elangore
Created: Wed Nov 14 06:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzyk9/reached_my_first_goal/
---
Just reweighed for the morning and I’m finally within the healthy BMI range!! I’m so happy but when I look in the mirror I still see the same thing. Hopefully as I lose more I’ll be able to notice
[Discussion] The awful feeling you get in your stomach restricting after a binge
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 4" | CW: 101 | GW: 97 | BMI: 17.3 | M]
Created: Wed Nov 14 05:56:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzuuy/the_awful_feeling_you_get_in_your_stomach/
---
It's one of the many things I hate about binges. That rumbly, gurgling, almost but not really empty feeling in your stomach as your binge food empties out but your stomach is still expanded. At least when I'm restricting, my stomach just has a dull empty ache which I actually kind of like.
I'm too fat for my winter coat
/u/littledutchbird [25F|5'8"|189.5 lbs|BMI 28.8|Lost: NONE bc I'm fat af ]
Created: Wed Nov 14 05:53:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzu4w/im_too_fat_for_my_winter_coat/
---
I had a bad year. I know that. I went from my lowest weight, to my highest weight. I know how to stop it I just can't. I feel like I traded one problem for another. My coat was a little snug last year but it fit, but now I feel like I'm going to split the damn thing open when I zip it up. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to be small. I don't know where my will power went. I feel like I'm running on autopilot, and my objective is always to just eat garbage. I feel like garbage. I want to cry but I did this to myself.
[Rant/Rave] My body hates me
/u/mossalto [5'7" | CW: 164.6 | SW: 193 | GW1: 154 | UGW: 115 | -28.4 | 21F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 05:48:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzsrl/my_body_hates_me/
---
Feeling really weird, like my arms and fingers are tingling and I feel both really restless and lethargic at the same time, and my heart feels really fluttery. Will I eat something like a normal human being because that's almost certainly the problem, or will I take caffeine pills to force myself to concentrate on my work and definitely make myself feel worse because I'm an idiot?
Tune in next time to find out!
[Goal] Almost back in the “healthy” BMI range!!
/u/elangore
Created: Wed Nov 14 05:35:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzpqv/almost_back_in_the_healthy_bmi_range/
---
I’ve almost achieved my first goal! It’s crazy because when you’re working on it you feel like it will never actually happen but then you see actual results and it all becomes tangible
being cold burns more calories right?
/u/mentalcasethrowaway [1.71m | CW: 63.1kg (-6.6kg) | BMI 21.6 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 05:28:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wznxe/being_cold_burns_more_calories_right/
---
i know the body burns calories just to maintain its temperature.
does that mean you colder you are during the day, the higher your TDEE?
so would it make sense to say that if you go to sleep with only a thin blanket you’ll lose more weight overnight? do you think it has a significant effect or just a minuscule one?
has anyone tried this?
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 14 05:10:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzjkx/daily_food_diary_november_14_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 14, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 14, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 14 05:09:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzja2/way_to_go_wednesday_november_14_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for November 14, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Discussion] Low calorie work lunch ideas?
/u/brattyfawn [5"1.5 | CW 103 | GW 95 | 18.8 | 22F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 04:37:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzbzz/low_calorie_work_lunch_ideas/
---
I've been absolutely flooding this sub for the last few days, sorry guys.
So I got a job! Really excited and pretty chuffed with myself, really - it's my first job in a new state and my first job since getting my shit together after going to rehab (crippling alcoholism stopped being cute).
Have any of you got any ideas for some easy to prepare vegetarian lunches I can take to work? Around 200 - 300 cal? The last time I was working whilst having an active ED I was having wine for lunch and I can't really do that anymore, so.
Thank you in advance!
[Other] At Least Part Of Me Is A 0
/u/thetexangypsy [5'3 | 126lbs | 22.3 | 26lbs to go | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 14 04:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wzb0p/at_least_part_of_me_is_a_0/
---
So I have stretched ears, my goal size is a 00. Yesterday I stretched up to the size before it, 0g.
Y'all have no idea how happy it makes my funky little brain to be able to say I'm a 0, even if it doesn't pertain to my clothing size 🤣🤣🤣
[Rant/Rave] I fell off the bus… hard. I’m right back at SW. Maybe I was just bloated, maybe I had food in my belly, but I fell off the bus for almost a whole month and all my hard earned loss is just gone.
/u/DifferentIsPossble
Created: Wed Nov 14 04:10:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wz673/i_fell_off_the_bus_hard_im_right_back_at_sw_maybe/
---
https://i.redd.it/l7szo6kg4ay11.jpg
Lunch = no go
/u/catacles
Created: Wed Nov 14 03:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wz2ru/lunch_no_go/
---
I tried bringing lunch to work the other day, to try to get healthier habits. I've got stuck in restricting during the day and then over eating at night.
But I couldn't eat. I ended up pretending to go sit eat in another room, hiding my food until the end of the lunch break and then putting it back in the fridge, throwing it out when I got back home.
But it was... Not pleasant. To walk around the corridor with that heated plastic container of food in my hand trying to figure out how to hide it.
It was maybe by far the strongest sign that I can't control this beast at all.
And I can't talk to anyone. I'm not in a space where I can look for help. I can't manage to force myself to say how bad it is. Instead I just pretend to be this good recovering person, asking friends and partners for "help", tricking them into reinforcing my patterns.
Fuck.
I didn't know it's this bad.
I mean. I'm not thin. I've never been underweight. I eat most days.
[Rant/Rave] Losing weight feels so impossible
/u/Teatris
Created: Wed Nov 14 03:20:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wyw1i/losing_weight_feels_so_impossible/
---
Since I was around 10, I've always been chubby. A thin body has always been something unattainable to me and it still feels impossible. I don't remember being anything under 68kg at my height.
I feel like one of those people from fatlogic, who say "yeah weightloss just doesn't work for me" because I just don't feel like being skinny is even possible. But of course it'd be stupid to claim that the laws of physics didn't apply to me, I hope you get what I mean though.
I'm so strict with counting my calories and I have lost some weight (from 80.5 to 69 kg) but I still don't feel like I'll ever be able to go under that weight..
[Rant/Rave] When you go to a restaurants website to stare at the menu but they don’t have pictures
/u/bby_gsta
Created: Wed Nov 14 03:12:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wyukl/when_you_go_to_a_restaurants_website_to_stare_at/
---
https://i.redd.it/jl1qtgr6u9y11.jpg
[Discussion] Does this shit affect anyone else’s school work and/or attendance?
/u/sigvi [160cm | LW: 40 | CW: 55 | GW: 47 | F18]
Created: Wed Nov 14 02:36:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wyn4i/does_this_shit_affect_anyone_elses_school_work/
---
I got an angry email from my teacher today because I stayed home when I was supposed to have a debate in class. I wasn’t prepared and I thought that maybe I could do it later. She knows that I have an ED, she’s the only adult I’ve told at school.
I’m not even sure if my response to her should be “I’m very sorry, I have no excuses” or “Well, here’s a list of a thousand reasons why school is harder for people with an ED than it is for other students, and a reference to my doctors who say they’re impressed that I’m even able to go to school at all”.
I’m not sure if I should blame her for not understanding how much an ED affects your life, or if I should blame myself for being lazy and a horrible person who ruins things for other people, like I usually do.
Anyone else who has or is struggling to keep up with school right now? I feel like a complete failure :))
Getfit: Diet aka Getfit: Disappointment
/u/rosecoloredidiot
Created: Wed Nov 14 02:28:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wylj1/getfit_diet_aka_getfit_disappointment/
---
Not sure if any of y'all have tried it, but I've been getting so many ads recently for this app called Getfit: Diet. I was pretty excited because it visually shows you what you're eating and I love that.
But sadly, I think the app stinks. Besides the fact that this restrictive app costs *20 bucks per month*, it put me above my TDEE even though I clearly marked that my goal was to lose weight.
It also doesn't let you add your own specific measurements, and will not let you create the meal unless you meet their requirements (one protein, one fat, one carb and one "fiber"). I'm not a vegan myself, but the only vegan option they have in the protein section is tofu, so you never really get to complete a meal unless you like to eat tofu for breakfast lunch and dinner.
It's disappointing, I really wanted to like it. Hopefully I can find a similar style app that actually let's me customise my meals. I get what they're going for, but it's so restrictive and not worth the money imo.
If any of y'all have tried it, what do you think?
[Discussion] What are your go-to pick-me-up safe foods that are low cal and easy to carry with you?
/u/cozyday [F23| 20.1 | 5'6" | CW: 125 |]
Created: Wed Nov 14 02:08:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wyhp4/what_are_your_goto_pickmeup_safe_foods_that_are/
---
I'm looking for some suggestions for food I can carry in my purse and eat whenever I'm feeling like I'm about to pass out.
When I'm restricting I'm always low-key scared to leave the house because I don't know if I'll have enough energy. I need something light that I can rely on. I take salt sometimes but that's a weird thing to eat in public.
Also, how about we make this brand-free, for all of us non-USA fuck ups.
[Discussion] DAE grab a body part that they think is fat, while purging?
/u/ClassicMarketing2
Created: Wed Nov 14 02:07:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wyhhw/dae_grab_a_body_part_that_they_think_is_fat_while/
---
Since falling into a binge and purge cycle, I've slowly but steadily gained weight. (yay bulimia /s) One of the areas where I've gained weight is in in my stomach (a major part of fixation for me) So now whenever I'm purging I'll grab my stomach fat which just makes me hate myself more, as if purging isn't enough of a symbol for that. 🤷
Anyone else do this?
[Discussion] Okay, does anyone else do this?
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Wed Nov 14 02:02:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wyggn/okay_does_anyone_else_do_this/
---
Low restrict and then eat something spicy for the almost drunk feeling?
It feels like floating.
[Other] Relapse?
/u/ErinNeeka_
Created: Wed Nov 14 01:44:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wycze/relapse/
---
I have fallen into a full blown relapse. Idk if you would call it that, I mean I only didn't b/p for like two or three weeks. It's back full force. I'm so scared for Thanksgiving. And I'm just feeling sad about it because it was one of my favorite pre-ED holidays. I can tell my mom is making my favorites in hopes that I'll eat with everyone or won't b/p but I just can't. I feel so pathetic. Does anyone have any tips for how to get through the holidays?
[Help] Boyfriend won't let me fast because of "starvation mode"
/u/koala1281
Created: Wed Nov 14 01:11:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wy6kj/boyfriend_wont_let_me_fast_because_of_starvation/
---
So do any of you have (scientific preferably) proof for or against the whole starvation mode thing?
Currently I'm fasting 13 hours/day, which isn't that much . But my caring and loving boyfriend sees me eating an apple for lunch since that's all I want and starts about me having to eat more and starvation mode. He said I'd never lose weight like this and now seems to try to keep tabs on how often I'm eating and how much.
He also keeps repeating to me that he loves me and that I am beautiful. Which is really sweet, but also sort of frustrates me?
How can I convince him that I'm not in starvation mode and that I'm not going to be. (Currently 88kg, 166 cm, note even close to starving) He tends to believe scientific papers easier than just cases where it did or didn't happen.
Doing that thing where I restrict all day, wait until my roommate has gone to bed to go out to buy cigarettes and a can of Sour Cream & Onion Pringles. How's everyone else's night going?
/u/tornessa [5'2"| 107 | 19.6 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 14 00:55:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wy39p/doing_that_thing_where_i_restrict_all_day_wait/
---
[Discussion] True or False:
/u/wethail [5’3”| 119.2| 🍑@koalathigh|vegan| 23F| 21.1 bmi]
Created: Wed Nov 14 00:47:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wy1kw/true_or_false/
---
When I get up in the morning, I would have rather done all that I needed to get done (iron clothes, pick them out the night before, etc ((meal prepping, coffee maker delay on, etc)) the night before, or do you stay awake until it’s done?
[Discussion] Gaining muscle weight
/u/macespacee
Created: Tue Nov 13 23:58:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wxr0k/gaining_muscle_weight/
---
Even though I feel stronger and my body is starting to look better, I am failing to lose fat while I gain muscle and the numbers crawling up the scale makes me wanna DIE . I wanna keep working out , but I hate this weight gain. I gain muscle incredibly easy so even cardio makes my calf’s all bulky, any particular advice to not bulk up//lost the fat that is hiding the muscle ?
[Help] Egg cell donation process BLOAT
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Tue Nov 13 23:29:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wxkmz/egg_cell_donation_process_bloat/
---
Okay. Slightly weird subject, but I am a wellmeaning idiot and decided to donate egg cells (in My country you don't really get paid, it's just for a Good cause). I am now in the hormone treatment phase. I sort of binged last weekend and am not back to "normal weight" yet. I am also, obviously, on my period.
...and I could REALLY use some encourageing words, since I am not allowed to work out atm, and I can't help feeling panicky about the bloat. I high restrict, but I have so far not had a lot of apetite so the temptation to go lower is HUGE. I asked discretely about "whether diet matters" during the process, and the nurse said "No, as long as you eat". Meaning I am now just in a situation where I need to accept the bloat because it's not just about me, I need/want the egg cells to be "in Good shape" lol.
Emotional support..? :3
Was feeling sick and I made myself throw up; the cycle begins again... fuck
/u/MaximumSignature
Created: Tue Nov 13 23:13:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wxgxo/was_feeling_sick_and_i_made_myself_throw_up_the/
---
So I was feeling nauseous since I woke up today. I had breakfast, which turned into a binge of course. I thought maybe it was something I ate that made me feel gross??? Then I had a mini coke and burped which made me feel slightly better so I went out and got a Diet Coke (of course) hoping I would feel good afterwards but nope. I still felt like trash, so the whole day passed feeling like shit. I finally just said fuck it and I made myself throw up.
I felt fine afterwards, no nausea. Nothing. I didn’t wanna do that bc it would trigger another bulimia cycle. I tried to talk myself down afterwards bc I felt that rush of adrenaline and accomplishment that triggers the cycle. No amount of talking down calmed me down though so let’s see how the next 24 goes. Will I b/p??? Probably!!! FUCK.
i finally admitted it to myself.
/u/vodkabipolar
Created: Tue Nov 13 22:53:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wxc2x/i_finally_admitted_it_to_myself/
---
“i have an ed.”
my friend , my closest friend who i have a sort of romantic bond to even tho we arent dating said
“yeah, we know, we told you that. we’ve been so worried.”
but im not going to stop. when i lie down at night i can feel the fat on my body. i know i ate like shit this week and im so afraid to weigh myself
i eat 1100 every day. im not as good as you guys who eat under 900. 200. i hate myself. im pathetic. ill be fuckig fat forever
[Tip] omg spicy food is so awesome
/u/isthischick4real
Created: Tue Nov 13 22:46:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wxa9t/omg_spicy_food_is_so_awesome/
---
i ate a 25 cal can of green beans and covered it in sriracha and im done eating for the night LOL (at 11:45pm)
I want an ulcer
/u/li_hu_sh [5'3 | UGW 105 | CW y i k e s]
Created: Tue Nov 13 22:41:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wx92o/i_want_an_ulcer/
---
So here's the thing: this boy named T at my school was overweight, maybe by about 30 lbs.
After the summer, I have class with him and notice, HOLY COW he's dropped like 50 lbs and has chiseled everything. His arms and legs are tiny and wow.
So my fat ass being obsessed with weight, I sort of try to subtly ask him, "Hey, you look different!"
Apparently, he got an ulcer over the summer and lost 50 lbs. And he's maintained the weight since the beginning of August and I'm jealous AF.
Get me an ulcer please, thanks. Because my fat ass deserves the pain of an ulcer if it means I can be skinny :)
[Discussion] Difference between Diet Coke and regular coke?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| ??kg| ]
Created: Tue Nov 13 22:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wx8qc/difference_between_diet_coke_and_regular_coke/
---
^ just wondering do you guys taste a difference? Personally I feel like Diet Coke is slightly more acidic as it makes my teeth feel numb. But taste wise I really can’t tell the difference. Can you guys? Also if a practically zero calorie version exists why do people still get regular coke?
[Rant/Rave] Had to de-rate cycling calories FACK
/u/k473anderson
Created: Tue Nov 13 22:31:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wx6jx/had_to_derate_cycling_calories_fack/
---
So fucking cranky about this.
I did some really fun, nerdy Excel-ing to figure out my sedentary TDEE based on several bouts of successful weight loss over the years, derating slightly for increased age and arrived at 2050 cals/day without exercise, when dieting. I know cals expended while running are very consistent, and that's what I've done historically so that's what my 2050 is based on.
In the past couple years I've taken up cycling to work (and for fun/calories on weekends) and haven't been as focused on tracking/weight loss. Well, I've come to fucking find out my VERY CONSERVATIVE estimate of ~35 cals/mile (which is like the lowest fucking estimate on any calorie counting app or site, minus my BMR so even MORE conservative) is WAY TOO HIGH. Found some v depressing blog entries from cyclists who did these experiments and confirmed that on mostly flat ground you burn more like ****5**** cals/mile at 15 mph (for a 180 lb elite cyclist). Now, that's really really flat, like rollers flat, so I'm bumping mine up to 13 cals per mile because I do some small hills on my commute to work (and I'm not in elite cycling condition), and hills change everything, BUT GODDAMMIT PEOPLE THAT'S WHERE THE OTHER 2 LBS I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOSE LAST MONTH WENT. FUCKING GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKER.
I knew it was too easy, I knew the easy consistency was too good to be true. Basically bumping my cals down another 200 and running way fucking more because that's the only shit I can trust.
My husband makes it impossible to restrict.
/u/amfmbf13
Created: Tue Nov 13 22:09:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wx10l/my_husband_makes_it_impossible_to_restrict/
---
So, I’m terrible at restricting in the first place. Ever since I “recovered” from anorexia when I was young (aka force fed until weight restored) I became a binge eater, and then fell into terrible binge-restrict cycles. So basically at this point, if there’s a trigger food in my house (usually sweets), I eat it. All of it.
Of course, my sweet husband has a box of GIANT COOKIES delivered mid-day to me just to say that he loves me! So nice and thoughtful! But then I have to go and eat the entire f*cking box (y’all, there are four cookies in this box, each one weighing the size of a newborn child). And I’m so irritated with him for just trying to be nice to me, I’m an awful person. I’m trying so hard to be nice but deep down I want to scream at him!
Gah does anyone have this problem? My husband likes to buy me treats to share (he has a giant sweet tooth too, but he’s rail thin) because he knows I love them and wants to make me happy.
And before you say “just tell him not to buy you sugary stuff anymore” I’ve done that. Lol.
[Discussion] DAE hate anyone calling out for being active in r/proed
/u/HonestRaspberry
Created: Tue Nov 13 21:27:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wwqh6/dae_hate_anyone_calling_out_for_being_active_in/
---
The name r/proed is so misleading, people probably think that we promote and encourage Ed when it's not the case. People see you being active in r/proed? Bam. Suddenly everything you said is unreliable and downvoted to hell.
A sudden realisation
/u/harambelol
Created: Tue Nov 13 21:22:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wwp6r/a_sudden_realisation/
---
It’s not uncommon for anorexics to describe that a ‘voice’ is telling them to do horrible things to themselves. That this entity that they call Ana, is telling them to starve and restrict, rinse and repeat.
I’ve never had that, or so I thought. I’ve never had a foreign voice telling me to do such things. It was never ‘you’, always ‘I’, since the beginning. Since **I** don’t want to eat, **I** don’t want to become fat, **I** want to be skinny, surely **I** must be choosing this lifestyle? “It’s just a fad diet guys, I promise I’ll go back to eating normally once I reach my goal weight” but how many goal weights have you had?
It took me too long to realise that I wasn’t choosing this. If it were as simple as a conscious decision, I could’ve made the ‘decision’ to revert back to my normal eating habits in a second, without any thought, and stick with it for the rest of my life.
It took me too long to realise that I’ve been fooled. Ana isn’t a fucking dumbass. She gets into your head easily and wants you to think that she’s a part of you. She NEEDS you to hold on to her. No one would willingly starve themselves if she blatantly presented herself as she is. She’s smart. She disguises herself as you, your conscious, your inner voice, and controls your actions. She goes by undetected because after all, ‘I’m making these decisions’, you might think.
She’s a fucking parasite. She feeds off your starving body, leeching off your mental energy. The only way she can survive is if you let her to. She’s nothing if you cut her off.
And that’s where I need you to stop associating these ED thoughts with yourself. They’re not from you. They’re from her. If you look at it from this perspective, she’s simply walking you to your grave. She wants to live, she doesn’t care about you. That’s what all parasites do.
If ‘you’ tell yourself not to eat, why not today talk back to that voice? Muster the courage to talk back to it and explain to it why you need the food. You might not find any reasons at first because you’ve been robbed of your self-worth by ‘you’, Ana. But that’s what she wants you to think.
She will make you feel bad about eating at first by disguising herself as ‘what ifs’. This is one of her sneaky, dirty ways where she makes you miss her and think of her as a safety blanket.
Again, she doesn’t want you to win. Ignore those thoughts. They’re not from you, they’re from her.
No one deserves to be under her control. If you think you’re in control, well you’re not, she is. And she will not leave you until you’re a pile of skin and bones, six feet beneath the earth.
Recovery might seem as if you’re heading two steps back into your ‘fatty’ self, which is what she wants you to think, when in fact, you’re taking one step forward, to claim back your happiness and life and leaving her alone.
Fight back for your voice, mind, health and life.
Only six weeks till Christmas (cue panic)
/u/mediocremermaidd [5'9" | CW 140.8| 20.8 | -16.1 | 20F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 21:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wwjq6/only_six_weeks_till_christmas_cue_panic/
---
Okay idk why I'm even posting this but I need to get my freaking shit together. Christmas is so soon and I need to lose a min of 18lbs by christmas (hoping for more like 20 but that's not realistic) . I've been stuck in binge/ overexercise for the past few days and I need to stop and loose weight. I haven't even weighed myself in the past week because i'm scared the number will have gone up.
​
So basically I'm debating doing like a 7 day fast (nothing too extreme) but I'm kinda nervous about it because I haven't done that much fasting and typically only do it when I can sleep lots and don't have anything I need to focus on but it's the end of term at my uni so basically I won't be getting much sleep and also need to be focused for studying and whatnot. Should I just go for it? Does anyone actually experience the mental boost from fasting that I've read about but never experienced (is it because I still drink diet pops while fasting)?? Also if the mental boost thing is real how many days / when during your fast have you experienced it (like did it start on day three and go till day ten, etc)?
Also I'm very curious what everyone else's plans are to get to their goal weights by the holidays (if anyone even has plans)!
​
Sorry this post is such a mess but I'm a mess atm so imma post it anyways
i miss my eating habits from that one year i was skinny
/u/incognitomiscreant [5'6 | CW: 129 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:50:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wwh2u/i_miss_my_eating_habits_from_that_one_year_i_was/
---
hi sorry about my inane rambling i'm sleep deprived and hungry and i have a headache and it all just came out
god i ate so slowly. idk how many calories a day even. not even obscenely low, like 250 -1000 per day but i kept it up so long it made a difference. and the walking, god the walking. i felt so fit and thin. i didn't even care whether i was burning anything but it was 5-8 miles a day which added up. i ate so *slowly.* i'd somehow nibble on my ~1/4 cup of beans over lettuce with vinegar and shitty spices for like half an hour. i'd eat, like, a small handful of trail mix before bed because i hate going to bed hungry. i was somehow intuitively eating like the disordered eating i see here and i don't understand why it had to end, i don't understand why i'm so fat, i don't understand why i'm like this. the thing i miss the most is savoring everything. i could make a chocolate bar *last.* if i could just do that again i think i could go back... god i hate myself so much. i wish i could look good in clothes
Having my last burrito before going on a 7 day fast.
/u/qxmemie
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:36:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wwdf9/having_my_last_burrito_before_going_on_a_7_day/
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Wish me luck..
[Help] body fat???
/u/problemproblem420
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:25:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wwad4/body_fat/
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sooo according to a body fat calculator i am "average-high" although my weight is around 6 pounds away from underweight. am i crazy or is this weird
​
​
when instead of a period you get...
/u/hera-fawcett
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:25:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wwaa0/when_instead_of_a_period_you_get/
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two within two weeks. um excuse. pls stop vagina, I need no more bleeds thx.
like this is the opposite of the goal, body. I just wanna be thin enough for no period not healthy enough for twooooooo.
legit tho, anyone versed in the menstrual arts gimme a rundown on why my period is happening (11/10-now) when it just happeneddddd (10/27-10/31). like. I ain't about ittttt
Broad city changing my liiiife
/u/exgfbff [5'9 | CW 142 | SW 149 | No Weigh November!]
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:15:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ww7mh/broad_city_changing_my_liiiife/
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Like fuck I wish I had half of their confidence especially Abbi because she’s thicker but cute as a damn button and funnier than shit and god dammit okay drunk rant bye
[Help] i quit smoking a week ago & i’m having such a hard time not replacing it with eating
/u/wellmanneredanimal
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ww6bo/i_quit_smoking_a_week_ago_im_having_such_a_hard/
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had anyone else experienced this? what did you do?<br><br>i feel like i should just start smoking again, even though it’s fucking up my lungs & stinks & is ridiculously expensive. at least if i’m spending money on cigarettes i can’t spend that money on food. ugh.
[Help] What do I need to stop bruising?
/u/bluebandicute
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:04:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ww4gc/what_do_i_need_to_stop_bruising/
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My legs are absolutely covered in bruises. I even get them from resting my elbows on my thighs now. How do I get it to stop?
I’m fucking nauseous and still fucking eating.
/u/_idealixtic
Created: Tue Nov 13 20:03:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ww4ez/im_fucking_nauseous_and_still_fucking_eating/
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God I hate myself. Why am I like this?! It’s like my subconscious wants to be fat forever. Every time i make any progress i pull shit like this. Ugh.
And of course nothing is coming up with purging. I hate myself. I hate everything right about now.
[Help] if god isn’t dead he is cold and MERCILESS (pls provide tips for avoiding constipation on high restriction)
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw128 (18.4) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 19:51:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ww0tp/if_god_isnt_dead_he_is_cold_and_merciless_pls/
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as you may have gathered from the title, i’m posting this seated atop a bag of frozen peas
not really but sweet jesus this ain’t it chief
is there anything as far as supplements or low calorie fiber bars or actually anything on this beautiful planet that i can put in my body to make bms not feel like childbirth
thanks pals sorry for the slight tmi but we’re all used to it by now, eds are disgusting by nature anyways
To purge or not to purge! That is the question!
/u/cutetinytroll
Created: Tue Nov 13 19:41:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvy2w/to_purge_or_not_to_purge_that_is_the_question/
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Haven’t purged in 13 days although... think I might choose to break it. Don’t feel a pressing need to purge but more of like I’m deciding to break my 13 day streak. Feel fine because I’m feeling like this is in my control or maybe my ed has convinced me that I have the control to break not purging but it’s actually the ed breaking it. Anywho! It was fun break but catch ur girl on the flip side
[Rant/Rave] Need to vent - On my Honeymoon and in my personal hell
/u/Sockapoodledoo [5'4 | CW: 125 | GW: 115 | 25F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 19:41:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvy2e/need_to_vent_on_my_honeymoon_and_in_my_personal/
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My new husband and I are on our tropical beach honeymoon and I’m trying so hard to enjoy it but all I can think about is how I look in all these damn bathing suits. This is the biggest I’ve been. I don’t know why. I don’t even think I’ve been overeating. In fact, the two weeks leading up to the wedding I was running for 45 mins every day and doing low weights. I don’t know what happened. I just feel so pudgey.
The food here is so good. It’s all inclusive, and it’s everywhere. Just a surplus of delicious food—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’m a foodie and bulimic so this is both my heaven and hell, as I’m sure many of you can relate. And of course I’m torn between “I shouldn’t have that, I need to lose weight” and “it’s your fucking *honeymoon*, enjoy yourself.”
I can’t stop thinking about it. I just wish I looked the way I wanted to. I wish I could do something as simple as walking down the beach to the ocean without wondering if everyone’s staring at me and thinking about how curvy I am. I have a pretty big chest which I fucking hate and the bikinis only make it more obvious, and it’s gotten bigger with just the few lbs I put on. I wish I could get them reduced. I wish I could play beach volleyball without being preoccupied with how I look, and I wish I could glance at another girl without immediately comparing myself to her.
We’ve gone to the gym every morning since we’ve been here, and that helps a little mentally until I look in the mirror again and am once again faced with disappointment. I’m just so defeated.
I know there are/were other brides on here. How are y’all doing? Hopefully better than me.
So, even though nightclubs aren't places I enjoy going to, I recently started working at one.
/u/hwcwcaftwwwh
Created: Tue Nov 13 19:40:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvxyh/so_even_though_nightclubs_arent_places_i_enjoy/
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Following on from the title, the main aspect of this job that I like is how easy it is to restrict food - working a nightshift allows me to skip meals during the day when I'm asleep, and I avoid spending money on binge food during my commute to and from work as most stores are closed.
Additionally, I feel awful for confessing that the amount of skinny people I see walking through the entrance is the push I need to keep going. I'm ashamed of myself for using these people as "thinspo," but many of them have perfect figures and are able to confidently wear short/sexy outfits that I could only ever dream of pulling off... it motivates me to lose even more weight.
Furthermore, I understand that my ED will affect my ability to work efficiently and could be a reason I end up out of a job - on days that I don't eat, I struggle to stay awake during my shifts and I worry about passing out, which makes me anxious about being told off for acting as though I'm slacking off even though it's the result of my negative mental health. I should mention that this is my first job, so my anxiety goes through the roof when I think about how difficult life will be if I end up out of work. However, money is becoming important for getting my own place to live - in short, I've been kicked out of several houses throughout my life and hate where I currently live; as awful as it sounds, I'm at a stage where I would like to live on my own so I can avoid people questioning my eating habits - at my age, and with my lack of work experience, there are few other places that will hire me, and, regrettably, it's a good distraction from eating for a few hours.
Moreover, I don't want to quit this job (albeit only because of the money) but it's so exhausting. I can't pretend everything is fine when I'm constantly on the verge of breaking down. I have nobody in my life to talk to about my ED because no one ever seems to understand (which is why I'm glad I stumbled across this forum), plus, everyone at work hates me, I've cut out most of my family, and I don't have any friends. Honestly, I'm lucky to still be in my first relationship. If it wasn't for my partner I would have killed myself by now.
Overall, I feel like everything is becoming much worse than it already is, and it's seriously tearing me apart. I feel as though I have nothing to live for. My life, which now consists of working a crummy job and spending most of my time asleep so I can skip meals and avoid other people, is completely controlled by food and all I want is for this nightmare to be over. I can't keep living like this. NO ONE can keep living like this. Everything is completely shit right now, and I simply feel weak and worthless.
If you read this, I apologise for wasting your time with this meaningless rant.
I'm so sorry. That is all.
My current height/weight stats
/u/cinnabunny0802
Created: Tue Nov 13 19:36:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvwlz/my_current_heightweight_stats/
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Hey guys, I need a brutally honest opinion here... My current height and weight are approx. 5'1 and 109 pounds (hoping to get down to 100 or lower though...)
Is this a disgustingly large weight? My boyfriend and everyone else says I look fine, but doesn't everyone say that? Especially when you're a recovering anorexic? I would rather not post pics, but according to my info, give me your honest opinions, even if you're just trashing me. Honestly, I kind of need the motivation rn.
[Rant/Rave] StArVaTiOn MoDE!!!!
/u/throwawaysoone [5'2 | FAT | :( | whatever | 22F | 🍑: ananbee]
Created: Tue Nov 13 19:28:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvub2/starvation_mode/
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Needed to voice my frustrations.
I got in a (minor) argument with one of my coworkers today about “““starvation mode”””. We were talking about another coworker who is trying Keto to lose weight, and she took the knowledge I gave her about TDEE and BMR to twist everything and scared her into thinking the reason she wasn’t losing weight is because of stARvAtIOn MoDE. I was like “I’m pretty sure that’s not a real thing” and she immediately goes “it is” and tried explaining how the body won’t let go of calories as quickly and blah blah blah.
I’m trying really hard not to flip my lid. So many people at work are talking about losing weight, and I try not to say much (mostly because what I’ve learned about losing stems from r/fasting and my own experience of disordered eating). But I’m so sick of people blaming plateaus on that.
ITS NOT REAL. ITS A MYTH. Unless you’re severely underweight, your body isn’t going into OMG STARVE MODE {ACTIVATED}.
However when I did say stuff about fasting (ya know, the healthy way) she slowed down.
Anyway to prove a point, I’m fasting until Thursday. (Also I’m at my own plateau and I’m sick of binge/restrict. Gonna take out the biggest contributor to B/R: food)
Gross ass combo
/u/ie63
Created: Tue Nov 13 19:27:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvu56/gross_ass_combo/
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Purging tortilla chips, block cheese, gummy bears and tootsie rolls with diet dr. Pepper to get it up..... not worth that was so gross
[Discussion] how will I know when its gone too far
/u/dollydomer [5'6 | 107.8|GW 100 |F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:58:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvlr0/how_will_i_know_when_its_gone_too_far/
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title says it all, but how do you know if your ed is so bad you're gonna die. but not weight related at all, because you can die at any weight from an eating disorder especially if you have had it a while you know?
DAE tell yourself that you’re not gonna eat till a certain time, then as that approaches you just keep pushing it back later
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:55:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvkrh/dae_tell_yourself_that_youre_not_gonna_eat_till_a/
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told myself not to eat today till 9pm, and it’s now 9 but i’m not hungry and i don’t want to eat if i’m not starving lol
[Rant/Rave] when exercise doesn't actually burn a ton of calories.
/u/lemon-basil-thyme [5'3" | 91.9 lbs |16.28 BMI | -20.9 lbs | 29F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvk3s/when_exercise_doesnt_actually_burn_a_ton_of/
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What do you do when your body adapts and you become really efficient at conserving energy?
I'm 5'3" and 91-92 lbs right now. I'm not some fantastic athlete, but I try to run 6-7 miles about 3x per week. I exercise with a chest-strap heart rate monitor, mostly to time my runs but also to estimate how many calories I'm burning.
Here's the thing. I have been careful to continually update my personal info settings on the HR monitor to reflect my ongoing weight loss, because I know you burn fewer calories when your body doesn't have to work as hard hauling itself around. But my heart rate itself has also dramatically slowed, to the point that it hovers around 132 now when it used to get up to 155 at some point during an hour-long run. So I finished an easy six mile run recently and my HR monitor told me I'd only burned 309 calories. That's it? Seriously? Do you know how long it would take me to burn off 500 calories at that rate? TEN MILES.
I want to be the kind of person who exercises daily, but it seems like all it does is exhaust me while not actually making that much of an impact to my TDEE (because you know I can't run every day, and I honestly don't even run my stated minimum 18 miles every single week). It seems really insane to me that I'm both MORE tired and burning FEWER calories. How on earth do you guys manage your workouts?
[Rant/Rave] broke my fast at 50 hours because i read things that made me anxious, now i feel sooooo guilty
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 89 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:32:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvea5/broke_my_fast_at_50_hours_because_i_read_things/
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i was planning on fasting until friday (last meal was sunday at 4 pm) but read some stuff about how dangerous fasting can be when you’re under a bmi of 15. i’m usually around 14.9-15.3 and that freaked me out, so i went to the dining hall and got a bowl of ramen listed at 470 calories for an OMAD but felt so guilty that i only finished maybe half of it. i hate myself so much for getting nervous when i’ve fasted for 65+ hours before this last binge cycle that made me gain back to 98. i just want to get below 96 finally but i keep sabotaging myself. i hate knowing that i won’t wake up lighter tomorrow morning because i was weak. i still plan on fasting until friday but i absolutely can’t stand myself for fucking it up halfway through, aaaaAAAAA
[Rant/Rave] My new office is filled to the brim with free food and it’s killing me
/u/RunLikeTh3Winded
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:29:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvdai/my_new_office_is_filled_to_the_brim_with_free/
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So I work in tech and I just changed jobs. My new company has a fantastic office and they keep it stocked with probably 20 different kinds of snacks. Chips, Cheetos, granola bars, etc - EVERYWHERE. They even have M&M dispensers (regular and peanut, because of course) all over the office. On top of that, there’s constantly catered lunches being brought in.
I felt like I had just got my binge eating disorder under control and was finally seeing real progress with controlled restricting. Halloween plus all of this has me sliding back into really horrible habits and I don’t know how to stop. I realize it’s a long shot but has anyone ever dealt with something similar? How in the world can I keep my shit together when the 3pm slump hits? 😫
[Discussion] DAE feel like their ED is more like a symptom than its own disorder?
/u/icthaine [🎍| 5'8" | 21.7 | -24 | 23M]
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:27:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvcpf/dae_feel_like_their_ed_is_more_like_a_symptom/
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Like their eating-disordered behaviours are just an extension of a preexisting disorder? I'm quite sure the answer is yes as almost all of us have other comorbid issues, I just wanted to hear other people's experiences.
Everything that qualifies me for an ED diagnosis is just a means to an end caused by other disorders; calorie counting and distress over image is because I'm obsessive and have a goal in mind. I've self-harmed and obsessed over my image in plenty of other different ways before, and eating disordered behaviours just happen to be an overlap of those practices. Change my style and personality so people see me as something new. Scar myself to learn to accept pain. Starve myself so people see me as something new and I learn to accept pain.
Psychiatry is a mess of overlap and blurred lines defined all too often by insurance purposes as a priority anyway, but I feel redundant saying I'm anorexic when I know it's just one way my overall neuroticism happens takes shape. Like calling me a seamster if I'm a surgeon. Like yes, I can sew, but that disregards the full context of why I do.
I know semantics don't change the issues you experience, but I was just thinking about it.
What about you guys?
[Help] Counting calories from a b/p
/u/3-months-to-45
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:21:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wvb07/counting_calories_from_a_bp/
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How do you guys do it? Count all of it? Count part of it?
I bury my head in the sand and refuse to log anything I've bp'd, but I'm also not losing weight at all so like.... *shrugs*
I fucking hate going to doctor's appointments
/u/zathnar
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:14:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wv95p/i_fucking_hate_going_to_doctors_appointments/
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I try to avoid going to the dr but I had to today and while the nurse was weighing me (I had stood facing away from the display on the scale) she had said my weight out loud while writing it down and it was 150 and I've been trying to "recover" by only eating while high so I could ignore how I felt about eating while eating and so this upset me and has stressed me out and I'm relapsing but I could ignore that until I left but then the doctor comes in and just makes me absolutely uncomfortable. I was in there b/c I had hit myself pretty hard in the jaw last week and sr the right side of my jaw hurts and while mentioning it hurt b/c I was hit I accidentally mentioned that I had done it and the doctor was like absolutely confused as if he had never heard of self harm. He starting saying that I should probably stop doing that, like no fucking shit, but I'm not here for that, I'm here for jaw pain. I started crying while there b/c he just couldn't seem to get it and its just so upsetting b/c he's now my doctor instead of this amazing old russian woman who understood how my self-harm was just horizontal cuts which only a few of were slightly deep and that those wouldn't cause me to die even if I kept the cut open and that it was mostly done to relieve the feelings of self hate that I have and she genuinely believed that I could work past it but it would be difficult and my current doctor just doesn't get that at all and its so upsetting my appoint ament was four hours ago and I still can't sop crying. Though that place has bmi charts on the walls that are slightly lower than a calculator on nih.gov so ig it balances out.
my life story/word vomit
/u/jaksusu [5’2 | 117 | 21.5 | 21F ]
Created: Tue Nov 13 18:06:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wv6qo/my_life_storyword_vomit/
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Hi, I just need to vent a bit I think. Also a little bit (alot) wine drunk rn!
Sorry if this post isn't welcome on here, please let me know and I can remove it.
So recently I've been at this job that was only a temp job but everyone I worked with kept saying that the owner needed staff and would definitely keep me on after summer, but, spoiler, she didn't. She's let me stay on for a few hours a week but I've only just found a new job (supposed to leave current job at the end of Sept). So every time I go in for a shift I just feel in the way and like i'm overstaying my welcome. Due to having barely any hours I've also started to feel very isolated, and money is really short. Since I live with the rents still this isn't too much of a problem, but I've had to ask my mum to help me pay car insurance etc and it makes me feel like a sponger which I hate.
Then this new job I've got is at this quite fancy clothes shop, all the girls are skinnier than me. Well put together, likeable, you name it.. all the things i'm not. My anxiety is going crazy about it and I just feel like I won't fit in and they're all gonna hate me,
I've also decided to finally (at the grand old age of 21) decided to apply for uni next year. and honestly I don't even know where to start, I've looked at ucas and uni websites and I don't even know what half the words they use mean, Like I'm too dumb to figure out applying for uni should I even be going?? And in my family all my sisters went to grammar school, uni and got good jobs, and then there was me. My parents must feel so let down.
​
I've also recently broken up with my now ex, we weren't together that long but it broke me. We broke up over a month ago now so I feel like I should be over it but like I'm not?? I wish I could take a pill or something that would completely erase him from my memory. I feel like I don't even love him anymore and I dont find myself wistfully wanting to be with him now or anything.. But I check his insta constantly and if he moves on before me I'll probably just die inside. I was so closed off and he always encouraged me to open up.. just to break my heart?? like why??
I finally went back to the dr recently for some help, and the most they could offer me was to put me on a 5 week waiting list for cbt, so I just feel like I want to die until then I guess??
​
So in summary I just feel very lost in life right now. I don't know where I'm going, or who I am really. If you read this word vomit I truly appreciate it.
[Rant/Rave] Average weight of office workers is more than I realized?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | CW: 111| 17.6 | -20 | F | UGW: 104]
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wv4bw/average_weight_of_office_workers_is_more_than_i/
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Okay so, I don't spend much time in traditional office environments. My main job only has an office of five, and we're all different ages and sizes. I started a second job today, and I've barely seen anyone in my office. BUT, I tagged along with a manager who was giving a presentation on mediation/arbitration to a local client. Their office is fairly large and has 50+ people. At least 20 people attended this presentation; lunch was provided.
Every single one of them was overweight. And just eyeballing, I want to say 50%+ were obese. Only three men -- the rest were women who looked to be in their twenties and thirties. I just, I really couldn't believe my eyes. I know the U.S obesity rate has been climbing. But, my hobbies are fitness-related so most people I see are on the slim side. If this office was representative of the general population, my mind is blown.
I had originally hoped to have one of the lunches that was provided (there were extras), but I couldn't even ask. I lost all appetite and just felt so sad. On one hand, I felt validated and happy that I was the smallest there, because it meant my efforts have been successful. I want to keep losing weight. On the other hand, I was sad that the news is true. I hope all those people are happy and healthy in their bodies, but I'm very sad if they are not. What are you guys' experience in office environments?
​
TL;DR I was exposed to what I think is a normal office environment and realized that (if that sample is representative of the general population), most people in my age range ARE overweight and obese, and it was very startling.
[Help] Stuck between getting help and pushing myself further
/u/lightsflicker [5'5 | 104lbs | 17.3 | -14lbs | F | vegan]
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:41:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuzi7/stuck_between_getting_help_and_pushing_myself/
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I’m 95.8lbs right now at 5’5. I’ve recently started uni and it’s been tough. I live with five other girls and my eating/throwing up habits are hard to hide. I feel uglier than ever, despite feeling happy and ‘enough’ at times. Sometimes, I get the urge to go to the uni GP (doctors) and just... try to get help? What would change? What would happen? I haven’t really tried since 2014 and that was a long time ago. My teeth are rotting away and my skin is so bad. But at the same time, I don’t want to. It’s like the only redeeming quality of mine is that I’m ‘small’. I want to get smaller. I feel like I haven’t even started. What am I thinking? Help for what? Being a fat, lazy piece of shit? (Sorry). I’m moving out to an en-suite room in January, so I feel like that’ll enable me to lose more weight as I won’t have to worry about using a shared bathroom. I’ll have my own. Private. What could happen then? Maybe I’ll get to my lowest weight, ever. Be happy. Be enough. I’m really torn. I hate being stuck. Thinking about food 24/7. And weight. It takes me away from things. And no one knows, although some do, they don’t. It’s very lonely. But I don’t like talking about it, because I don’t want to be seen as a victim. I told my boyfriend and he thinks it’s a choice. And now he thinks I’m sick. I don’t want to be seen as sick. I’ve learned before that people don’t want to deal with sick. So even if it is really bad, I underplay it and joke about it. But anyway. It’s very lonely. Just wish I had something else to do at night than be consumed with these thoughts of food, my next meal, when can I throw up, when can I weigh myself again. Get help, no, what are you thinking? I’m not really sad. Just a tad lonely and wanting to feel ok.
My daughter died because I’m a fatass
/u/whoami1008
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:36:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuxz4/my_daughter_died_because_im_a_fatass/
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I got preeclampsia when I was pregnant and she was born 8 weeks early. She was doing great, but she got sick when she was a week old and passed away. The disease she got wouldn’t have happened had she been born just a couple of weeks later and that could’ve been possible if I had eaten better during my pregnancy. Now I just want to starve myself until I die too. Down 80 lbs so far. I can’t kill myself quickly because my brother already did that two years ago and I don’t want to put my family through that again.
Earliest Starving Memory
/u/stardustandpoetry [5'7 | CW:152lbs|GW:118 lbs|F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:24:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuuhz/earliest_starving_memory/
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What's the earliest memory you have of starving yourself? Or any disordered eating really. I remember in the fifth grade I didn't eat the whole day, and then I came home and binged on goldfish crackers. Like I literally ate the whole bag. To this day I still want to vomit when I see goldfish.
I need affirmation that I can get to my GW without exercise ???
/u/thinspothrowaway-997
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:24:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuu9s/i_need_affirmation_that_i_can_get_to_my_gw/
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When I was 18/19 years old and at my LW (5’5” and ~105 lbs) I did it through eating super clean and obsessive cardio but I didn’t restrict (as in I didn’t count calories, but I definitely was eating low cal because all I ate was lettuce and chicken breast lol)
Now I’m 21 and I’ve gained 30 lbs (!!!!!) and I have horrible knees from my obsessive cardio days and just can’t bring myself to work out
Is it possible to get back down to like 115 without any exercise? I’ve been slowly backing down on calories and am restricting to like 500-800 daily? Is restricting alone enough?
[Help] I'm fasting now until Friday, how much electrolytes should I be getting?
/u/Dovahkiin14
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:18:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wusqg/im_fasting_now_until_friday_how_much_electrolytes/
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I started yesterday 5:30pm. I'm going to be mixing 2 tsp of table salt into 8oz of water everyday I think and drinking that. I'll be drinking lots of water too. I don't want water retention though because I'll think that I'm not trying hard enough and that I'm somehow failing at fasting even though I won't be eating anything. Is 2tsp each day enough without causing water retention? Thank you:)
My fasting day was ruined by neuropsychiatric testing
/u/lorabore
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:03:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuobe/my_fasting_day_was_ruined_by_neuropsychiatric/
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I did not plan ahead. When my psychiatrist said he referred me for neuropsychiatric and cognitive testing I thought it would be like an hour. WRONG! It was 8 hours!
I show up at 9 am all glittery and excited to get this over with and go do my fasted cardio. Instead I spent 2 hours being psychoanalyzed and then did hours and hours worth of memory and cognition tests, ADHD assessments, personality tests, etc.
The point of this was to figure out what kind of neurological damage I suffered from chemotherapy and cancer treatment, but it also served the purpose of diagnosing larger psychiatric disorders.
And the worst part was that my stomach was growling so hard the doctor stopped the assessment at noon and said I better go eat something and come back in 20 minutes.
Then, because my psychiatrist told her I had an ED, I had to eat in the cafeteria with the inpatients, supervised. No getting around that.
Although I will say, I had been fearing someone forcing me inpatient for a long time but after interacting with them at lunch it didn't seem so bad at all. I may even willingly go at some point in the future.
Worst. Weight Loss. Ever.
/u/UnderseaK [5'7 | cw:143lbs | F26]
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:03:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuoak/worst_weight_loss_ever/
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I lost five lbs in the past three days...in the absolute worst way possible. I found out that my husband cheated on me. I want to die, y'all; I'm so shattered by this that I have eaten almost nothing for the past three days since I found out.
I had been working SO HARD on getting better and improving my mental state, and now it feels like all of the hard work and tears don't matter at all. I love my husband so much, and he has been a huge motivation for me to try to get better because I know how hard my ED has been on him.
Why even try now? Food doesn't taste like anything, and I'm nauseated every time I remember what happened. To give what credit is due, my husband came clean about the whole thing on his own, cut it off with the other woman on his own, and he isn't trying to justify anything. He knows he screwed up, and we are going to be going to marriage counseling to try and put ourselves back together. But the fact that he could even do it in the first place tells me that I'm just not enough. In my own being I'm not enough. I just want to shrink down into nothingness, because I feel like I'm nothing anyway. I'm just a useless ball of depression and flesh and I hope I get hit by a truck.
Today's Update- Fail
/u/cinnabunny0802
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:03:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuo4w/todays_update_fail/
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Well, today's attempt at dieting was a failure. On my own I was doing pretty well, I had eaten nothing but the plain ham sandwich from Subway I had yesterday and a bottle of Pure Leaf peach tea (only 100 calories, and gave me quite a bit of energy). Things only really went downhill when my mother brought me to Harvey's and INSISTED I eat something. As I mentioned in my first post, I have had anorexia (among other EDs) for around 4 years now, so my mom is very familiar with my eating habits, and knows I won't eat unless I'm basically forced or watched. So she sat me down and made me finish a portion of fries- which wasn't so horrible, since the portions of fries they serve at Harvey's is relatively small- but to put the cherry on top, she bought me a high-calorie microwave meal and insisted my nanny watch me eat it for dinner. I am SO mad! I love my nanny and mom, and they have severe anxiety like myself, so I didn't want to trigger them by refusing to eat... but now I've failed my diet! I suppose I'll just try to avoid them tomorrow so I can eat even less to compensate for today. My waist has grown a whole inch since a couple of months ago, from 24 inches to 25, and a couple of years ago, I was at 23. I really just want a perfect, thin 24 inch waist.
I made a call on the verge of tears for an inpatient admission. After I hung up, got sudden motivation to lose weight...I cannot be in this body
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.3"| GW 96 lbs |33 y/o]
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuo30/i_made_a_call_on_the_verge_of_tears_for_an/
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I used to love posting here when I made progress. I got under 90lbs last year and was so proud. I don't know how I did it. But then after a series of events, lazy binging and purging took over and now I'm averaging 110 lbs now and I cannot tolerate it.
I cannot and will not let myself be at this weight. I will fucking die trying to get back down to at least 96 lbs. This body is NOT mine. I have so far to go and that's frustrating. But I cannot be here. Not in this body.
I don't know how I let myself gain so much. I hate my lack of control. I hate this physical presence. I hate it and it needs to go. I don't know how to do it anymore...just HOW do you not surrender to that much weight gain? I have no patience but this is not a choice.
[Rant/Rave] Lol I just c/s a tortilla
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Tue Nov 13 17:01:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wunqq/lol_i_just_cs_a_tortilla/
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Honestly wtf 😂 I was eating my OMAD (taco salad) I put a 50 calorie tortilla on the bottom of the bowl, I decided I would c/s it for no real reason!
[Other] "im going to look sooo good when im skinny"
/u/fuckinhelpmehdhd [5'8 | CW 137 | GW 117]
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:53:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wule0/im_going_to_look_sooo_good_when_im_skinny/
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*eats an entire pizza to celebrate*
Binged McDonald's..
/u/xStingx
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:43:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuidp/binged_mcdonalds/
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I've been avoiding McDonald's like the plague. If I ever go near McDonald's or Wendy's or any places like that, I only get fries. Whelp guess who just discovered the rapid weight loss with purging? Me. Last week was the Dave's triple from Wendy's and a large fry. Today? Two Mcchickens and two large fries. I couldn't finish all of it but I did eat most of it and I'm about to purge in a few minutes. I'm not really ashamed and that makes me ashamed. Lol. I know the very harmful effects of purging so I don't need any of you commenting about how my teeth and my heart are going to be fucked. But I kid you not when I say I hate myself so much that I'm willing to die from my ED. I know that sounds crazy. There are people out there who have it a million time worse than me and I complain all the time about my life and I cry even more knowing that I'm an unappreciative cunt. But I am just not happy. I've never been happy. I'm 25 years old and I have never in my life been happy. Not as a child, not as a teen, and not now. I can only remember lying down in bed every night and wondering why I'm alive when there are so many other people who deserve my place. God will punish me for my ungrateful thoughts but I'd be lying if I sat here and said that I like my life. I don't. I hate myself. I'm disgusting, ugly, ungrateful, and I deserve everything I get out of this.
So yeah.
Please don't pity me in the comments. I'd more so love it if you guys just posted your worst binge because this one takes the cake.
Mmm.
Cake. 😂
This soup mug.
/u/wildflower_0ne [5'2 | 112.5 | 21.32 | 26F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:42:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuid7/this_soup_mug/
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https://i.redd.it/om71iqzqp6y11.jpg
Can we give actual relationship advice???
/u/Kinglens311
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:41:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuhy2/can_we_give_actual_relationship_advice/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wua3b/can_we_give_actual_relationship_advice/?utm_source=ifttt
Just getting it out and needing some advice
/u/NewAgeRocker
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:38:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wugx3/just_getting_it_out_and_needing_some_advice/
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Hey folks,
I want to tell my story. It's a long story. Probably many of you will recognize themselves into it. It all started out, I think 3 years ago. Overall, I think it is when I started to notice my body and wanted to feel good about it. Oh, btw, I'm 17 now. I've always been a little on the chubbier side, but I was doing lots of sports and was overall pretty strong. I don't remember what I did at that time (I think I probably just cleaned up my nutrition), but I lost 10 pounds during the year. I was happy. I had a six pack. The year after, I started lifting. As they say : "The day you start lifting is the day you become forever small". I was training hard and making some gains.
Fast forward. 1 year later. My concerns about my body and nutrition grew. I've always been a little hypocondriac and, when I found about the paleo diet and its supposed benefits, I dug into it. I got, honestly, quite lean. But I was cold, sluggish. I was always engaging in more exercise, and more restrictive on my diet. Week after week, I developed disordered eating, orthorexia and started binge eating. Sometimes I couldn't stop (that actually happened tonight, which rang a bell for me to seek help and share), but some of you probably know what it is like. After I came back from a trip, I decided that I was too mentally sick to continue on that track (about 8 months ago). I eased up on diet and exercise and changed my relationship with those elements of my life. I've gained 20 pounds in the process, but a good part of it is muscle. Fast forward to now. I changed school, and started training more seriously again. Then I wanted to eat more healthily... and realized I got in the same trap as before. Eat healthy, binge, anger, sadness, eat healthy...
That's on the inside. On the outside, I have a wonderful life. I'm good a school, good in sports, have a good family situation, win awards at school, activities... But that seem like never enough. I want to be the best, and won't settle for less than I can achieve. I think that all those people on social media that say "everyone can get in shape it's easy" somehow gave me this mentality I wasn't good enough if I wasn't lean and strong, things I try to achieve through diet.
So here I am. I just binged and realized I don't want to live this life anymore with that weight on my shoulders. I really want to change, but I want to keep my desire to be great. Just in a healthier way.
Anyone gone through this who would mind to share what worked for them ?
Cheers to all
Take a guess...
/u/platypuslost
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:33:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wufl9/take_a_guess/
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How did I deal with my emotions today?
Giant, massive, million calorie binge?
Unhealthy use of alcohol?
Fuck my abusive asshole of an ex because I need to feel something?
If you guessed all three, you’re tonight’s lucky winner!
I was doing sooo well. I had stayed away from him, was working out every day and restricting and finally starting to feel/look a little better.
Sigh. Why am I like this?
kinda panicking (((thanksgiving.. oh the joys)))
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:32:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuf8k/kinda_panicking_thanksgiving_oh_the_joys/
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my bf just told me he managed to get the entire thanksgiving week off from work and wants us to drive 600miles to spend the holiday with his mom, and so i can finally meet her.
i love traveling to different states especially during autumn/winter cause florida is so boring with the seasons, but i’m terrified of the food and i’m literally shaking just thinking about the weight i’ll gain.
he says his mom loves to cook so we probably would rarely eat out. i just want to be able to enjoy myself if we do go but it’s so hard to get out of my head and not feel disgusting about myself like how will i count calories for the homemade meals? how will i weigh myself? i’m stressed lol
Help me guess the calories!! They are vegan and made with chia seeds, olive oil ect
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 53.5kg| 18.3 | F ]
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:32:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuf5i/help_me_guess_the_calories_they_are_vegan_and/
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https://i.redd.it/xqvdil5pm6y11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Friend is jealous of my ED
/u/beefbitch69
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:28:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wue3l/friend_is_jealous_of_my_ed/
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He's always saying he wish he had anorexia. I guess I feel that because I wish I had more self control around food but whatevs. What really bothers me tho is that he says hes fucking jealous that i had bulimia in middle school. Like, I WISH I wasn't scared of food. I WISH I could eat as much as you without freaking out. He thinks I'm recovered because I'm obese, and for some reason this makes it okay to joke about?? I'm way too uncomfortable with confrontation so I'll bite my tongue off before ever expressing my feelings but...it's fucked up. He doesn't realize that my picky eating isn't just that. I'm actually scared and I cry when people force me to eat new foods. He thinks it's just a quirk. He also says the same about my ADD
Anyways yeet y'all I just wanted to vent 😎
[Help] Purging issues
/u/NekoandtheFirefly
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wudmb/purging_issues/
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I cant make myself puke with my fingers so I tried mustard powder and warm water. It made me nauseous alright but when I went to puke only a little came out. I couldn't even see food, just the water I drank. What am I doing wrong? I just.... I can't keep binging without getting it all out. I'm so frustrated.
[Rant/Rave] I just won the safe food lottery, y’all
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:21:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wubye/i_just_won_the_safe_food_lottery_yall/
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I work in a small office of me and three other people. Our admin specialist regularly buys kcups and natures valley granola bars for the kitchen that I usually ignore because this girl cannot have just one shitty granola bar.
I’ve taken to eating my lunch in her office, and lately have been bringing quest bars with me to prove I’m eating. Obviously she does not realize that it’s 1/3 of my daily calories, and one of my like 5 safe foods. Today she informed me that since I apparently like them so well, she’s gonna start purchasing them with the rest of the office food as well. She warned me that chocolate chip cookie dough, s’mores, and birthday cake were the only flavours available from the place where she orders them, like that was a freaking problem 🙌
is this the real life or just fantasy because this shit is unreal. This is what people with restrictive EDs fucking fantasise about man, free quest bars as part of their benefits package.
[Discussion] Hi MTV, welcome to my snack hoarding drawer. (Snack drawer picture thread?)
/u/brattyfawn [5"1.5 | CW 103 | GW 95 | 18.8 | 22F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:17:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wuap5/hi_mtv_welcome_to_my_snack_hoarding_drawer_snack/
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https://i.redd.it/i4uczugbl6y11.jpg
Can we give actual relationship advice???
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"2 || 104]
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:15:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wua3b/can_we_give_actual_relationship_advice/
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**Disclaimer: I'm speaking of non-abusive relationships ONLY. This advice does not apply to actually horrible partners**
I see a lot of posts about boyfriend rants, many of which I noticed are unintended outbursts by the partner, and the comments are always "dump his ass!!" when honestly, it's fine to rant but yall comments are literally getting 1% of the relationship, so you can offer support but don't immediately jump to breaking up... let me get a few points out of my way:
1. You are dating a young person who never took a class on handling mental disorders, hell, not even basic communication. For men, in terms of them growing up, they were probably taught not to talk about emotions which makes most of them emotionally stunted and often, they usually never get the opportunity to vent and talk about their feelings towards other friends. You are probably his very few forms of actual intimacy. Don't walk into a relationship and expect to get perfect treatment from your partner, they are not therapists. Remind yourself, they too, are human, and will make mistakes and hurt you despite good intentions.
*But how do I help my partner be more understanding and compassionate?*
In the end, how they handle things are down to VERY SPECIFIC actions. Literally tell them SPECIFICALLY what to do. Saying stuff like "don't trigger me" is not helpful. Say things like, "Please tell me in advance in two or three days of a dinner date." or "Please message me if you are planning to make dinner and tell me what it is." or "Can we cook together this sunday night after you work? It will help me a lot with my ED." Remind them gently that this suggestions may seem small but are a great positive impact for you. *Expect them to forget occasionally, this is just habit building* Don't explode with anger if they mess up the first few times, remind them and trust that they'll do it next time.
2. **Stop asking sabotaging questions and stop projecting your insecurities.** Putting up a picture of a victoria's secret model and asking if she's more physically attractive is trapping them. If they say no, you're more beautiful, you'll feel like they're lying. If they say yes, they are more attractive, you would just get hurt. Asking questions such as "did I gain weight" when physically, you did, don't get upset when they said you did. And **don't paraphase what they said into a hurtful insult**, them telling you that you aren't model skinny doesn't not equal that you're fat.
*How do I stop this?*
Put yourself in their shoes. Compare a celebrity you find more physically attractive than your partner, or even a friend. Now, how do you feel? Are you going to leave your partner *the answer should be no* and do you still love your partner a lot? *the answer should be yes.* Move on. Remind yourself that even though you're not the hottest or skinniest person on the entire planet, doesn't mean they'll love you less or more. **THEY ARE DATING YOU FOR A REASON, FFS.**
Realize that a lot of things you care about are not permanent. Newsflash, even though you have an ED, it's physically easy to lose weight in a healthy way (if you're not underweight already) A caloric deficit is all you need to do it. If you still feel "ugly" I'm pretty sure you can name a few people/celebrities that weren't physically that attractive or ideally skinny but whom you still embraced due to their wonderful, charming personality. Have you ever met a physically attractive person, but then disliked later due to their personality? Do you have a wide range of people who you admire, but are different from each other? That's how you should see "being beautiful". Christmas lights are pretty, so are roses but both being completely different from each other doesn't mean they aren't beautiful.
Realize a lot of people are just physically average looking, which is fine. There's actually a lot of youtube compliations showing the extreme effect of makeup (example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxi7gPddryM&) Don't unfairly compare yourself to others where they are just more skilled in makeup / camera angles. The only time you should compare yourself should be versions of yourself in the past.
*But I'll feel like I'll never be beautiful*
Never say never! Feeling beautiful is like growing a muscle, you gotta lift the weights and keep working on it, overtime it'll feel natural. If you grow self confidence, insecurities/jealousy/self sabotaging fades away.
3. **Your partner wasn't trained to be a nutritionist or handle weight loss.**
Remember that partners without an ED do not care as much about physical appearance as much as you do, so what they sense is a tiny comment might feel very hurtful for you. They don't know how to properly help someone on a diet journey.
If you tell them you're on a diet, them trying to help and say "are you sure you want to eat that?" is literally them just trying to help you. To them, it's just you eating a bag of chips. But to you, it's a mental retreat and an episode that may cause binge-eating. They don't know that. That may feel like an attack, but to them, it's literally just eating more or less. If this hurts you, remind them what to say specifically next time. If they are very uncomfortable with speaking, use hand signals. If they sense you are beginning binge-eating, tell them rubbing their nose or wiggling their ear and smiling at you means *"Hey...I think you might begin to binge eat or act on an unhealthy behavior, if you would stop for me, I'll be proud of you"*
4. **Commit to helping them as well as them helping you.** It might be a trigger for your partner to order take-out, but asking them to never order it again would be 100% effort for them with 0% effort from you getting out of your comfort zone. If they really want take-out, train yourself to stay in another room or tell them to plan a day where you can eat and challenge yourself to eat with a healthy mindset. Doing healthy things for others is helpful for both you and your partner. Do things for them as well -- do they struggle with depression or other issues? Ask what to do for them as well.
5. Immediately thinking "break up with them" if they did something is NOT healthy. It actually leads to a term called "splitting" which is black/whiting things. It's not a healthy mindset and you should always approach issues with a logical mind. What did they actually do? Can you solve it by a small action next time? If you cannot tell if it's abusive, consult a third party that you trust (preferably a therapist) and state actual facts of what happened.
There that is all. Rant over.
[Other] Trying to convince myself I’m healthy lol
/u/snackqueen18 [5’7” | CW 136 | GW ? | F25 |]
Created: Tue Nov 13 16:13:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wu9h1/trying_to_convince_myself_im_healthy_lol/
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I obsessively count every single calorie I eat and plan meals days in advance and body check compulsively and stare in the mirror trying to imagine what a thin, attractive version of myself would look like but I eat 900-1000 calories a day so that means I am healthy and fine, right? 😅🙃
Should I keep binging?
/u/Precaso
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:42:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtzt3/should_i_keep_binging/
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It's like, I could stop this mental battle and enjoy myself today, or I can painstakingly keep battling for... what? Eventually maybe having a better looking body? That's not even guarenteed given my eating habits as of late, not to mention the length of time that will have to be fought through. So, yolo and just keep binging? Maybe I will.
I cooked!! (Chicken, sketti squash)
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:40:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtzco/i_cooked_chicken_sketti_squash/
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https://i.redd.it/2fa1tuire6y11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I finally broke.
/u/lattephobia
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:40:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtz9r/i_finally_broke/
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But I think I'll be okay.
I've been doing so, so good since September. Highest day in the 1100s. Continuous progress only interrupted by period bloat. Was actually raving on here about my first 10k and the awesome day that followed just a couple days ago.
Then I didn't even hit a LW and I binged for two days. Nothing was even really *wrong*, like there are some things going on in the dramasphere online that are bugging me and I'm mildly concerned that I need the drains in my house rooted, but there's no serious emotional pain.
I even have new winter running shoes.
But I still ate cheesebread and pizza and ice cream, then yesterday went fine until I ate pasta and cake and more cheesebread and just... Ugh.
I'm up three pounds, and I'm not even that mad. Like an exasperated parent of my own body, I'm just... Disappointed. I know it's mostly water and food, I know today is a new day, I know tomorrow morning is my scheduled rest day and then back at it, but... Ugh.
I have an event out of state this weekend where I'll no doubt be the prettiest girl in the room by nothing but the benefit of the target demographic (ham radio enthusiasts lean heavily toward being eccentric men over 50), but it's still a bit frustrating. I was really hoping to be at 120 by then.
[Rant/Rave] Too fat to get a job
/u/thisfightisnotover
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:34:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtxl3/too_fat_to_get_a_job/
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I have an interview tomorrow. It's at a makeup place and I just REALLY want this job. I'm in the higher end of a "healthy" weight range, I've been gaining fast, and all I can think is that I won't get this job because because I'm too fat. How can I work in the beauty industry when I obviously don't take care of myself? I know this probably isn't true but it's the only thing in my head. Over and over. I can't believe I let myself gain every bit of the weight I lost back. I want to hide and cry and never go out again but I need this job so I can quit the one I hate...
I know this isn't ED related, but I assume most of us suffer from anxiety and depression as well as our issues with food.
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:30:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtw9q/i_know_this_isnt_ed_related_but_i_assume_most_of/
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https://youtu.be/apJaKRqX9cI
I love eating plain oatmeal
/u/Thatza_Latza_Matza [5'3" | CW 120 | BMI: 21.4 | -20]
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:28:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtvi8/i_love_eating_plain_oatmeal/
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It’s disgusting and it makes me feel full so I don’t binge. Plus it’s slimy so my appetite of fuckin GONE.
[Other] Thought I'd clogged a toilet
/u/acykq
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtvci/thought_id_clogged_a_toilet/
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I spent £13 on a curry and 2 naan bread, ate it within 10 minutes and proceeded to purge it back up. I go to flush the toilet and instead see all the toilet water rising to the brim. Luckily I was at home and it all went back down, but my god did my heart stop for a second.
[Rant/Rave] I'm never buying bread again
/u/Waterweightless [167 cm| 52 kg| 18.65| 20F ]
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:08:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtp2d/im_never_buying_bread_again/
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Today I decided to buy some bread to treat myself because I was doing well with restriction and honestly I just love bread so much.
A couple of pieces of toast can't hurt I thougt. That's only like 160 calories. What could ever go wrong?
Well guess who just ate an entire loaf of bread in the span of a couple of hours and is now looking 4 months pregnant.
This girl.
That's well over 1500 calories not including all the shit I put on top of the bread. Hahaha pls kill me.
I sincerly hope you all had a better day than I did cause I'm just going to go dig a hole to die in now🙃
Sabotagey friends?
/u/itsoobak
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:07:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtoob/sabotagey_friends/
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So i have a friend who knows how stressed I get about food. And he knows i regularly limit myself to 300-400 calories, and I Know that he throws up after most meals. However we’re both abroad and he wants to “make the most of the food” here and keeps asking to go out to eat. My thing is i’m great about limiting food when i’m on my own, but when i go out i get stressed if i don’t “eat my moneys worth” in food and then i feel the need to eat everything in front of me. He’s fine doing that because he THROWS IT ALL UP but i can’t do that and i refuse to because the only thing i’m proud of on my body is healthy teeth. He always asks me to go to AYCE places with him bc im the only one who can keep up with him as i can binge eat like a 6’ 400 lb man (i’m 5’4” and 125 lbs lmao), but i’ll keep up with him and then he’ll throw it up and i’m the only one literally pregnant afterwards. Even knowing that i get stressed about food (i regularly express this to him...bc he has an ED) he keeps insisting on going to nice food places !! The thing is he’s also bipolar and is SUPER needy and clingy and im okay with it because i don’t hang out with anyone but him (by choice) but he gets stressed apparently if i don’t dedicate enough of my time to him, although literally every second of my free time goes to spending time listening to him complain about his life. But everytime we try to hang out he keeps asking “let’s go eat at this place” or if i say i don’t wanna eat a lot he’s like “let’s split something!” Ok he’s like 5’11” and i’m 5’4” we can’t logically split something half-half and if we don’t and i eat my small share we’re splitting the cost unfairly because I’m eating less. Ugh another problem is every time we go out (he lost his credit card like the first week of school, it’s been like 2.5 months) i pay for both of our meals and he’s like oh i’ll venmo you, and i dont get venmoed for like a month unless i request everything. He’s always like oh my money will come in soon. And then has the nerve to keep asking me to venmo him when i owe him like 2€. Deadass the only reason he has had food for TWO MONTHS is me (and my parents money). But thats another story. No matter what even if i propose something different like museums or gardens he always goes back to “let’s get brunch at this cute place” or “let’s get drinks at this rooftop place” and the stress of having to deal with his bipolar food-enabling self and consequent money issues gets to me and makes ME stress binge and then hate myself even more and at this point i just don’t know how to approach it. Am i being selfish??? How do i make him stop proposing places to eat?? And why does EVERYTHING EVER revolve around food??????
do you eat mostly fruit, veggies, pasta/bread/grain, proteins, or fats?
/u/thrillofyourcharms
Created: Tue Nov 13 15:01:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtmpj/do_you_eat_mostly_fruit_veggies_pastabreadgrain/
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i think im mostly veggies, then grain and fruit are tied for second
DAE facetune pics of their body and keep them as motivation?
/u/cinnabeom [5'1" | ??? | ?? | -?? | 19F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 14:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtm3h/dae_facetune_pics_of_their_body_and_keep_them_as/
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i would take pics of my body, facetune or photoshop them to look the way i want them to, and save it in a secret photo album app on my phone just to serve as motivation to keep restricting LOL. thinspo except it’s sorta u heh
when i do this, idgaf and i have bendy walls everywhere. it’s kinda funny. idc tho since it’s just for me to look at anyways! 😝
[Rant/Rave] moderation ?? idk her
/u/tired_platypus [5'4 | 117.2 lbs |F17]
Created: Tue Nov 13 14:57:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtlaq/moderation_idk_her/
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gotta love that disordered life, it’s either a 3000+ cal binge day or 300- restrict day. god i wish i was a normal person who eats food regularly with m o d e r a t i o n.. well i fucked up today so i guess the rest of the week is low restrict. *cant wait*
[Rant/Rave] aaaAAaaAahhhh
/u/acrsita [Height 5'7| CW 47kg | BMI 16.5| Weight Lost ??| Gender ??]
Created: Tue Nov 13 14:29:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtc93/aaaaaaaaahhhh/
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my period stopped in may.
IT’S BACK GUYS!!! IT’S FUCKING BACK!! AND I AM SO UPSET??
i haven’t even gained weight. i’ve stopped binging and purging so much, but??? i literally haven’t eaten for 48 hours as of now. i am at my lowest weight.
why the fuck is it back? that must mean i’m not underweight enough and not skinny enough which means i need to starve for even longer!! yay me!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Another shameful binge food grocery run
/u/kimboislame [5'1 | CW: 115 | SW: 125 | GW: 105 | 19F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 14:28:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wtbpc/another_shameful_binge_food_grocery_run/
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Just when I thought all the food and money I wasted on yesterday’s grocery run, I went to another grocery store for some really gnarly low quality snacks. I was on line to checkout with two family size boxes of cereal, a package of Chips Ahoy and Oreos and I saw from the corner of my eye an elderly couple whispering in each other’s ear and looking at me. I felt like the biggest whale in the world.
Can anyone talk?
/u/FavorFusion
Created: Tue Nov 13 14:02:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wt3a3/can_anyone_talk/
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Just listen to my bullshit?
[Discussion] Does anyone else not know why they starve?
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:58:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wt1u1/does_anyone_else_not_know_why_they_starve/
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I’m not far, I’m ten pounds underweight and I don’t see any benefits to getting slimmer, but I still want to see my bones for some fucking reason and feel driven to lose more weight for no reason
[Discussion] Your favourite energy drink?
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:57:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wt1nw/your_favourite_energy_drink/
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Hey,
So I just recently got into energy drinks, partly for the energy boost, partly for the alleged appetite suppression, partly for its weight loss/diuretic effect (half the superskinny's on SS vs SS drink energy drinks like no tomorrow).
I'm wondering, what are your favourites for energy boost? Best appetite suppressant?
I've only tried some zero/extremely low cal ones: Monster Ultra (red is my favourite taste, less sweet than the others), but those don't really give me much of an energy boost (except if I get the large 500ml cans) and tbh, they don't really suppress my appetite all that much, really make me want to binge on sweets more and I've tried the Red Bull Zero and Sugarfree. Sugarfree sucks imo, zero gives me at least some energy and I'm actually enjoying the taste. Appetite suppressant? Hmm, kind of...
Any recommendations?
(oh yeah, I know they're not good for you and blablabla, thanks)
Dietary tips for losing fat and gaining muscle simultaneously
/u/Whoevera
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:56:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wt1by/dietary_tips_for_losing_fat_and_gaining_muscle/
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Hi guys!!
For the past month I’ve been getting into the gym and lifting weights/doing strengthening exercises to gain some muscle. I have no butt/hips and am trying to get some curves.
However, my ultimate goal is to be slim/tiny but with an hourglass figure. I still want to lose some fat, which to my disordered self means restrict.
But I have to eat to gain muscle. So it is a dilemma. Idk how much to eat.
Wondering if any of you guys have been able to lose fat and gain muscle at the same time and if so what did you eat? Idc if its healthy I just want to accomplish it!
Just thought I’d add I’ve been using protein powder after each workout!
Thanks in advance guys, love u all, hope you’re having a good day xx
[Other] i realized i have a problem
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 21f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🐻]
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:56:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wt13k/i_realized_i_have_a_problem/
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i always thought i was just exaggerating my ed and that it wasn’t that bad but i just started watching this show about young adults with a severe ed trying to overcome it together by starting a dinner club (or at least that’s what i gathered so far LOL) and i’m shook because these people do all the things i do and they have an actual, probably pretty severe ed so i guess that means i’m more sick than i thought i was? anyway, wild
Appetite suppressants
/u/apfrun
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:53:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wt0bu/appetite_suppressants/
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Anyone used these. I'm thinking of buying some like over the counter but I want opinions on what works best before I waste my money
Before your ED, how weird were you about food as a kid?
/u/LolitaJane [5'7" | CW 176.4 | LW 129 | HW 290 | GW 108 | 31F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:42:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wswti/before_your_ed_how_weird_were_you_about_food_as_a/
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Maybe this might be more relevant for people whose EDs emerged at or around puberty, but feel free to chime in regardless.
I was *intensely* weird about food. I had a very limited set of what I'd now call Safe Foods, and I wouldn't eat anything outside of that. Like, *beyond* picky, I hated everything.
My stepfather hated my pickiness, he'd force feed me, scream at me until I puked, on occasion he made me eat my puke, but it was the one place where I just would. not. bend. I spent hours and hours sitting in crying misery at the table in front of foods I was refusing to eat.
That was fucked up, but the experience of unfamiliar foods was such a stressor for me I think I would have developed an ED no matter what. My grandma for sure and probably my mother have them in varying degrees.
[Help] Just fucked up at the grocery store
/u/AbandonedDragon
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:36:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsuq6/just_fucked_up_at_the_grocery_store/
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Idk guys I need help. There’s this one grocery store here that I’m always anxious in but usually has the safe food cheaper than anywhere else so I buy my ed food and my alcohol there.
Today I was buying the most drunkorexic shopping list ever and I fucking broke a wine bottle at the self check out. I look like a fucked up alcoholic. I should probably die. It was embarrassing. And then when they went to check me out (and let me grab another wine bottle) they double scanned my vodka. I went back in to ask them about it but then got scared that there didn’t seem to be a customer service desk where I thought there was and chickened out and left. Idk if I should take this as evidence that I shouldn’t come back and shouldn’t eat ever or if I should call them and ask them for the money back. It’s $10 but that’s a lot to my broke ass right now. Should I get drunk and make the call?
when i’m fasting i make gross compilation vids of fat people eating or doing mukbangs
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:24:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsqie/when_im_fasting_i_make_gross_compilation_vids_of/
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like lmaooo that’s so shitty but it literally grosses me out.. like nikocado avocado and hungry fat chick and amberlynn reid.. it completely kills any appetite i had. i don’t want to see myself on their level
[Rant/Rave] i just bought sleeping pills
/u/basicvodkaboy [let's dove into champagne fountains/cw 120lbs/ gw: birth weight]
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:20:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsp91/i_just_bought_sleeping_pills/
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so heres the plan: i like to eat in the evening. i never eat in the morning. so when i take a sleeping pill at night, i can’t eat. and when i can’t eat, i loose weight.
​
​
​
​
excuse me, but wHaT tHE fUcK
what is fucking wrong with me???? me, a boy, has to buy skinny jeans in the women petite section because the men’s section doesn’t have my size anymore, but i need to loose MORE weight???? sure jan! sounds like a fucking great plan!!!! your therapist wants you to stop loosing weight, but what does she even know???? she only worked with ed people for 17 years and told you that you could die because your liver gives up!!! but who tf cares, am i right??? let her give up!!! she worked hard, she’s the hardest working liver in the universe and she sure does deserve a break!!!! when will i be satisfied??? when i reach my fucking birth weight???? probably so i just keep trying lol
anyways i just needed a place to vent about my escapades again, thanks for coming to my ted talk
[Rant/Rave] I’ve been nicer to myself today and am having horrible horrible regrets
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW117.9 | 18.47 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:16:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wso14/ive_been_nicer_to_myself_today_and_am_having/
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So last night I hit a huge goal of mine, to be underweight! Great! So I guess I felt I should try being ‘kinder’ since I feel safer-
So today I had breakfast: the usual oatmeal and apple... with fucking peanut butter. (Love hate relationship). It was disgusting and I hated it and regretted all the calories.
No snacks because I don’t snack and I was feeling so gross that I was going to skip lunch. Then I thought to myself, oh dear no, you’re underweight you can be ALLOWED to eat lunch.
So I had raw vegetables, hummus, and some edamame. And guess what else. A fucking whole grain peanut butter sandwich. I thought I could handle it. I regret it. It was probably infinite calories and now I know for sure I can’t deal with ever eating peanut butter again. Today has been so terrible and I wish I could feel alright that I ate the way I did. I don’t purge and I won’t but fuck I feel disgusting and despise myself again. I’ll be overweight by the days end I feel like. I’m sure I’m still below maintenance but NOT if I eat dinner. I have to skip, right? I was going to give myself one ‘nice day’ and I couldn’t even handle that. Tell me to skip dinner. Tell me I’m disgusting for eating the way I did. I don’t deserve any of it yet. Agh.
I want to cry and feel like an absolute fatass now.
Back after a month long absence
/u/Belldainty
Created: Tue Nov 13 13:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsn5t/back_after_a_month_long_absence/
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Hey friends, it's been a while. I've been off binging. I gained 7 pounds back so I'm back at 214. I got back to logging in MFP again today and it's making me feel so much better. I'm on the bus home now and that's usually my binge time is when I get home from school. I'm going to try my hardest to pull through though. I'm going to stay on here to keep me from binging. Anyway wish me luck I'm sure I'll post again in the next few hours.
Stay safe friends!
I finally fucking get it
/u/mynameislucaIlive
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:57:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wshka/i_finally_fucking_get_it/
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So, like, I’ve always had a weird relationship with food, but I’m starting to restrict super hard, and at first it was cus I wanted to be skinny and pretty, because I’ve been that skinny before.
Then this weekend my boyfriend had a pretty serious talk with me about my eating habits and he said stuff like, “if you wanna be skinny then just work out with me!” “You’re beautiful just the way you are!” And I finally realized, this isn’t about being skinny, I mean it is, but not really. It’s about control. Everything I do in my life is because somebody else makes me, wake up, go to work, go home, clean the house, go to bed. Eating and working out are the only things I chose to do. My body is the only thing nobody can make me do anything with. As long as I have control over what I put in my body and how often I work out I’ll be okay.
[Help] How long do I have to be off the EC Stack to begin feeling effects again?
/u/bullymeahhh
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:56:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsh4i/how_long_do_i_have_to_be_off_the_ec_stack_to/
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I was taking it for about 6 weeks but it was no longer really having and effect. How long do I have to "detox" before it has an effect again?
New FUN games I’m playing with myself
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:52:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsfrp/new_fun_games_im_playing_with_myself/
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How long can a sleep deprived college student survive on only Starbucks and lite beer?! How many days in a row can her boyfriend find out she’s not eating before he leaves her!? WELL congratulations me I’m back down to a weight where I hate myself a little less and I guess that’s all my fucked up brain cares about! Yay!
[Tip] Quest has pizza....
/u/feelsomethinggg [5'7 | 173 |24.1|-9| 24F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:50:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsfap/quest_has_pizza/
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So quest makes pizza now. Maybe it's been a thing but I just found out.
So gonna stock up , it's slightly expensive tho.
But you can eat 1/3 or a 1/2 of a pizza depending on the flavor.
And it is only around 300-350cals. Packed with protein AND low carb.
I'm doing OMAD and low restriction so it's nice to have that and be able to add something else small and feel full. But I guess it also takes some self control which isn't always easy lmao.
Been a rough few days. Hope everyone is doing well and feeling okay.
Happy Tuesday ❤
[Discussion] Go to exercise?
/u/stardustandpoetry [5'7 | CW:152lbs|GW:118 lbs|F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:44:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsdc1/go_to_exercise/
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What are some of your favourite, go-to, holy grail exercise videos that *actually* help you? I'm trying to expand my exercise repertoire so my body doesn't get stuck in a rut because I've been literally doing blogilates for 4 years. Here are some of my faves for lower body/inner thigh:
Ballet and Barre: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udGm\_c0XuL4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udGm_c0XuL4)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8qOt2q4hyA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8qOt2q4hyA)
[https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x51tc11](https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x51tc11) Longer one, and it scares me that she’s so muscular but oh well!
Blogilates: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEQnmWd4D5E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEQnmWd4D5E)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGNJrmha0NM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGNJrmha0NM)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZQDf1OfGvE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZQDf1OfGvE)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYla4gz\_15c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYla4gz_15c)
Post links!
I lack a sense of identity
/u/RedTapeMedia
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:44:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsd9h/i_lack_a_sense_of_identity/
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So I was reading this book called "The Sacred Enneagram" today and in it the author writes something pretty eloquent and I feel like it underlines what a lot of my struggles boil down to:
>"Over-identifying with our success or failure, allowing the fragments of our identity to lay claim to the whole, and falling into the addictive loop of our mental and emotional preoccupations keep us stuck."
>
>"My own consistent struggle is to recognize my addictive tendency to validate my worth (dignity) by curating an unrealistic and unattainable projection of who I think I need to be (identity)."
The times where I feel the most lost/vulnerable/insecure about who I am and what I'm worth are the times where my destructive habits resurface again. In the book he mentions that we all find ourselves bouncing around three human lies that we believe about our identity:
>"I am what I have, I am what I do, and I am what other people say or think about me."
I stop eating when I want to identify with my pain, I binge when I want to identify with my sadness/repressed anger, and I stop caring when I identify too strongly with my failures. I can't just exist with my feelings, I have to act them out too. If I don't, I don't feel like I have an identity or feelings at all. I repress them so much to the point where all my brain can do is just do these self-destructive rituals to cope.
I need therapy lmao.
lost 8lbs since november 5th
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsd7w/lost_8lbs_since_november_5th/
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i’m 12lbs away from my first goal.. i just hope to be half way there before thanksgiving :/
i need to start exercising to push it more, i just feel so gross in my body and also embarrassed even though i know others literally won’t give a shit lol it’s just hard to step outside of my insecurities
🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 fingers crossed for more progress
Any way to make ballerina tea not taste like ass?
/u/punk_wannabe
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:39:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wsbgz/any_way_to_make_ballerina_tea_not_taste_like_ass/
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I've gotten into the habit of drinking ballerina tea, mostly after a binge. But, and maybe it's just me, it tastes horrible! I tried to put a little honey or truvia in it but it doesn't help. Ballerina tea drinkers, do y'all have any tricks to make it taste a little better or do you just grin and bear it?
[Goal] 24hr fast first time
/u/HappyStrawberry29
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:25:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ws6xa/24hr_fast_first_time/
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Today my goal is to make it the full 24hr fast. I wont eat until 6pm because I gained weight over the weekend instead of losing. I'm 14lbs from my goal weight as of this morning. I was only 11lbs on friday. Why am I such a fat pig?! For dinner I'll eat less then 500cals and I will repeat this cycle until Thanksgiving if need be. I will not be a fat bride. I'm sick of looking at my jiggle and fluffy bits, I want them all gone.
[Rant/Rave] The nicest compliment I've received
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | 27 |CW 118.6 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ws2qj/the_nicest_compliment_ive_received/
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I saw some old High School friends for the first time in years. My friend called me waifish!
Waifish! I am still swooning at the thought of this word applying to ME of all people. Now all I can think about is how I want to be waifish forever.
Hey, overweight ED-afflicted person here— how much do you guys weigh? What are your goal weights
/u/macaroni_veteran
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ws005/hey_overweight_edafflicted_person_here_how_much/
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I’m 180 5’8”, female
[Other] Easier to restrict if I can't eat anyway... Right?
/u/NovANDP [5'2 | CW 149.04 | BMI 27.3 | SW 172 | Chronic Dumbass]
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:05:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrztf/easier_to_restrict_if_i_cant_eat_anyway_right/
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To start, I have a lot of allergies. I mean a LOT of allergies. I've always known this, but I recently got the first half of allergy testing, and I am allergic to all but 1 of the things that they tested for. I know I have even more food allergies.
I've often been able to get away with not eating, because most of what offered is something that I shouldn't have, although my food allergies aren't deadly (as far as I know, I can eat things I'm allergic to, I just have to bear some moderate discomfort).
If I'm restricting, which is basically all the time, I can almost always get away with saying I can't eat because of allergies.... If only I was allergic to unhealthy foods, but instead it's mostly just fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Sigh...
TLDR(is that how you type it?): I have weird food allergies, and I use them to get out of eating. Woohoo.
[Discussion] DAE have an irrational fear of calories
/u/likrot
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:03:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrz6r/dae_have_an_irrational_fear_of_calories/
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continued i suppose? i know most of us are super worried about them. i know i am. energy drinks are such a safe haven for me. but i find myself being scared to drink water from anywhere but the bottle, even then im afraid theres calories even though i KNOW its just water. today i almost didnt brush my teeth because i was afraid of calories in the tooth paste. im going CRAZY!!! am i alone in this?
[Rant/Rave] will it ever be enough for me?
/u/likrot
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:00:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wry9a/will_it_ever_be_enough_for_me/
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ive lost 20lbs. im nearing 30. i want to lose more than that. i love looking at the graph and watching the slope get steeper. i dont want to become ugly. i wont gain weight again. but im on the path to precipice. there is nothing after. my mouth tastes like energy drinks and bile.
I sound like a complete narcissist but....
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 173 fuck me | 24.2 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 12:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrxzp/i_sound_like_a_complete_narcissist_but/
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Does anyone else end up staring at old pictures of yourself for hours? I just keep thinking I would love to have that body (and slimmer face omg) again
Bought a coffee to-go mug...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 116.8 | 21.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 11:59:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrxwh/bought_a_coffee_togo_mug/
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...so I can drink vegetable broth out of it. Too excited for these future lunches.
Favorite no carb/low carb foods??
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 116.8 | 21.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 11:58:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrxbw/favorite_no_carblow_carb_foods/
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Please inspire me beyond having bread and cheese all the freaking time I need to stop
Binging on drinks
/u/redcapris
Created: Tue Nov 13 11:54:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrw7b/binging_on_drinks/
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This has become my most annoying habit. I rarely crave solid food right now but I think about stuff like frappe's, fancy juices, non-diet soda ALL THE TIME. I try to just drink black coffee and diet coke and la croix but its not the same. I will literally go around to different coffee shops/fast food places in the span of a couple hours to get several drinks so I won't be judged. It's so dumb and such a money pit but there you go. I tried the new like Christmas flavor of Mountain Dew yesterday and I'm in love. Why can't everything come with an artificially sweetened alternative.
[Rant/Rave] boyfriend called me fat :))))()
/u/meadow_sleep
Created: Tue Nov 13 11:39:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrqz1/boyfriend_called_me_fat/
---
i dont have an eating disorder... just maybe disordered eating. anyways aside from that
today otp w my ldr bf
he was trying at first to convince me to not do intermittent fasting saying i wasnt consistent and all
i was telling him i was fairly consistent and that isnt true
he told me to go back to my old diet (what i did back in early june)
(lol restriction but under the guise of my nutritionists diet plan)
i kept insisting that i feel better doing intermittent its better for my relationhship with food etc
he was saying otherwise
we were getting a little heated debating till he just bursts out
“I CAN TELL JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU..” pauses realizes thats bad wording “Sorry if thats offensive I don’t mean it like that But i can just tell you were skinnier back then”
Me: radio silence
He had to go after that
I feel terrible
I started crying right after I hung up. Wow. Ans then i looked at myself in the mirror and broke down. Wow. And Now im tearing up writing this. He apologized on text after saying he doesnt think im fat. But yeah thats a load of lies i know. im seeing him in 50 days.. and I feel so ashamed of the body Im in. Wow.
How often do you have to purge before your jaw gets kinda swollen and it's noticeable?
/u/dried_pineapple [4 '11 | Goal: 90 lbs | F 26]
Created: Tue Nov 13 11:26:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrmo0/how_often_do_you_have_to_purge_before_your_jaw/
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[Discussion] Let’s talk medical
/u/mmblarg
Created: Tue Nov 13 11:26:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrmiu/lets_talk_medical/
---
I’ve suddenly developed what i’m guessing is rheumatoid arthritis, or at least something similar. The thing is, i’ve never had any issues with arthritis until heavily restricting (though RA runs in the family unfortunately.) but i’m only 30 years old damn it! Yet the best part is instead of normal brain saying “you need to take better care if yourself and go to your doctor” ED brain instead tells me “welp, we both know you aren’t going to a doctor till you lose 10 more pounds. To hell if i’m going to see your CW get recorded when they weigh you!”
Do what are some new medical issues that you’re dealing with thanks to ED?
[Rant/Rave] TFW when your office is a fake safe space
/u/saltsplendasriracha [5'7"| CW 121 | GW 113 | +8 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 11:10:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wrhe0/tfw_when_your_office_is_a_fake_safe_space/
---
My office is my private space 99% of the time. Except when I’m stress eating, and my boss or another attorney walks in and I say “oh, sorry, I’m in the middle of eating” and they’re like “oh it’s fine” and STAY THERE. Even worse, when I’m trying to CS and have to fucking swallow what’s in my mouth. When this happens I want to type up an office memo that says “my office is CLOSED.”
Psychiatrist stopped prescribing Adderall :(
/u/Emorito [5'3 |CW: 109 |-36 | 22F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:51:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wraod/psychiatrist_stopped_prescribing_adderall/
---
So I use Adderall to restrict and to avoid binging until the end of the day (often doesn’t work) but I’m freaking out because I’m scared I’ll just be b/p-ing nonstop now.... she says she won’t prescribe it until I get treatment and stabilize my eating but I’m really upset about this. I’ve been considering ec stacking for the first time now but idk if it’ll be the same....
[Goal] Fasting tomorrow til Tuesday!
/u/conuretrash [5'4''| 20 F | CW 147 | GW 115| -43 |]
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:51:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wraoc/fasting_tomorrow_til_tuesday/
---
I need to post for my own accountability/peace of mind. Usually I end my fast early via fat logic-ing myself. Well self, you’re not breaking your fast early!
I broke my phone...time to fast!
/u/PoorLama [6ft | CW 188 | BMI 25.5 | Weight Lost 12lb | Gender F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:45:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wr8ik/i_broke_my_phonetime_to_fast/
---
This honestly feels so petty but it's stressed me out so much....
So I dropped my phone and it randomly won't turn on and the screen is just a messy blur. I'm so careful with my stuff and now it's busted after only a year of having it.
I got in touch with tech support and after trying everything + a factory reset, it's still wrecked. Annnnnd I'm out of warranty with $0 to pay for a new one. :-(
Whatever, gives me an excuse to punish myself and restrict more for being a fuckup.
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself
/u/Anavosa [5’1” | 123.6 | 21.16 | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:39:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wr6px/i_hate_myself/
---
I want to cut out sugar, but I have hypoglycemia so I can’t. I want to cut out salt, but I have low blood pressure so I can’t. I want to go vegan, but I can’t because I have pernicious anemia. I want to work out, but I can’t because I have physical problems with my legs. I want to lose weight, but I don’t know how to. MFP is helpful, but i don’t know how many calories I was eating before my diet so I don’t even know if I am dieting. Sorry for ranting. Im just so frustrated. I feel like I’ll never reach my GW because of my health problems.
[Discussion] winter break resolutions- exercise help?
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:36:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wr5rj/winter_break_resolutions_exercise_help/
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i get off for break in a couple days (it goes through new years) and i am ready to get back in business!!
i want to lose 7 lbs by january. one of my goals is to do some sort of exercise each night before i go to bed because i really want to tighten my stomach up.
does anyone have anything that has really helped them? simpler is better but i also really want to see results
a mediocre idea that my dumbass thinks demonstrates peak human intelligence
/u/balienated
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:30:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wr3ld/a_mediocre_idea_that_my_dumbass_thinks/
---
so im a big 2 minute noodle fan and i love this brand maggi, and they have a delicious curry flavor noodles. it always makes me sad when i think about the amount of calories in it.
one day, i was looking for soup, for dinner, but wasn't in the mood for anything in my ed stash. then it hit me, i could just add the 2 minute noodle seasoning to hot water, and it'll be like a 'soup'. i checked online, it was about 35 calories when you dont add the noodles. dinner was great, pretty good serving size, super spicy which ultimately made me feel super full.
probably a bit of a stupid idea but i now think im the next albert einstein.
tldr; i discovered i could add 2 minute flavourings to hot water for a low calorie soup
[Discussion] EC stacking and FREEZING?
/u/drinkingcherrycola
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wr2wp/ec_stacking_and_freezing/
---
I did my first EC stack this morning and I am SO COLD like full body shivering. I took one Bronkaid pill and about 200mg of caffeine. I had read a lot about the different effects that I might experience while EC stacking and being cold was never on any list. DAE ever get cold? Maybe this is just my first time reaction and it won’t happen later on but wow I was not expecting this.
Does anyone else get crackly joints?
/u/bashytr0n [5'2"|90lbs|17.1| GW 40kg/88lbs | LW 35kg/77lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 13 10:26:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wr2bq/does_anyone_else_get_crackly_joints/
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Ive always been a bit of a crack addict, mostly just my neck and knuckles, but recently its like all my joints are cracking constantly. I can crack my fingers over and over again just by flexing my hand out. I do it in my sleep and sometimes it keeps me up because i keep feeling like i need to relieve the tension.
My shoulders and pelvis-thigh joints also click in and out sometimes. None of this really hurts but can be a bit uncomfortable because it feels like im not getting my full range of motion.
Google says its mostly harmless but i just thought id check in with you guys in case its restriction or diet related. I do take vitamins but its getting a bit embarassing doing stretches in class with my skeleton loudly pop alockin away the entire time.
I'm trying to get help through my college, any ideas on what to expect?
/u/spiritofregret
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:57:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqshi/im_trying_to_get_help_through_my_college_any/
---
I asked my lecturer about if I can speak to a counsellor through the college. He ended up giving me an email I'd already tried, they'd wanted me to do a 30 minute phone call with them (which I was unwilling to do). He wouldn't let me leave the room without telling him what was wrong and when I said I thought I could have some form of an ED he refused to let me leave without me consenting to him contacting someone.
He said he'd give the same place my details and insist I need a face to face appointment, but said I'd have final say to whether it happened or not. I'm not sure how to feel about the entire process.
Sorry, word vomit. Anyways my question is, if I go through with this (still not sure), any ideas for what I should expect? Has anyone else gone through their college/uni/school for help? What is the initial appointment like? Is there any risk of them informing my family?
[Rant/Rave] Sorry oof
/u/crystal_methmath [4'11" | 115 | ew. | 10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:53:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqqvj/sorry_oof/
---
I don’t want this to sound...pretentious? But I can restrict really well. I can do under 200 calories for very long time with occasionally 900 or something. But the thing is that I’m type 1 Diabetic. If I restrict I can go into ketoacidosis which can kill me. I mean idk i don’t really want die and I don’t feel like explain what it is but I just wanted to say something. Yeah... idk what to do. :( I’m gonna go cry now cya peeps.
[Discussion] a conflict about getting older with my eating disorder
/u/chrysanthemym [🌻 she/her | cw: 145 | gw: 108 🌻]
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:45:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqobb/a_conflict_about_getting_older_with_my_eating/
---
I was having a discussion with myself last night about everything. About my eating disorder, about why I feel such a deep, burning, searing nostalgic pull towards looking small, ethereal, fragile, etc. about why I feel so deeply emotionally triggered by looking at photos of thin people I find attractive or beautiful, about why I feel so obsessed with that, why i feel
Last night was really exhausting mentally.
I decided to face everything. My eating disorder, my thoughts about life and about what I want and how I see myself. I decided to ask myself:
\> Why do I feel such a deep emotional burning, almost searing, pull towards looking small, ethereal, and fragile? So much so that a mere photo of someone looking skinny immediately triggers that psychological response? Why do I feel so obsessed with looking a certain way? What "caused" this?
\> Why am I so attracted to sadness? Why do I find it almost addicting?
Last night, when I was turning these questions in my head I came to a huge realization and roadblock. I asked myself, will I want this when I'm older? Can I see myself excruciatingly counting down each calorie and being hyper aware of how much I eat when I'm 30? 40? even 50? or 60? Do I really want to be lying on my deathbed remembering about how many nights I spent alone in my house, refusing friends invitations and dinner parties because I was afraid of the calories? Do I want to remember that isolation and regret wasting so much time on that?
And I don't know my answer to that.
[Help] 'starvation mode' - a real thing? Or just utter bs?
/u/chokeholdchokehold
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:43:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqnuc/starvation_mode_a_real_thing_or_just_utter_bs/
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So I constantly see people referring to this 'starvation mode' which occurs when you go below a certain amount of calories usually like 1000. Is it true? Will I just completely diminish my metabolism if I eat say 400 cal a day? Or will my body still use the same overall and I'll lose faster? Any info would be super helpful, thanks :)
FFS
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:38:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqmbc/ffs/
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https://i.redd.it/evrp5ki7m4y11.jpg
[Help] OMAD and binging at night
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:38:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqm4o/omad_and_binging_at_night/
---
So I’ve been doing OMAD with dinner for a little while now but the past few weeks I’ve been eating more after dinner because eating ironically makes me hungrier after.
Has this happened to others? I’m thinking of trying a smaller lunch today and smaller dinner to see if that helps my binging...
Can I get someone to psych me up for a hookup?
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: too high | GW: too low | -45lb | M21]
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqlrc/can_i_get_someone_to_psych_me_up_for_a_hookup/
---
I'm gay, and I like to use grindr to trigger myself. Just one guy stopping talking to me after I send pics and I'm restricting for months! Except it backfired this time and I've ended up chatting with a guy I'm really into. We've seen each other irl, I've been wondering about him for a while, but I don't think he's paid any attention to or recognized me (he's on the cheer squad and I'm in the marching band, so we're at stuff together a lot but I'm in a huge group hidden in a uniform and he's much more visible and in a smaller group.)
Anyway, he's willing to meet up tonight and I really want to but the whole reason I went back on grindr in the first place is because I'm feeling horrified by how much I've been eating and wanted someone to implicitly call me fat so I'd stop. I don't think my pics don't accurately capture how jiggly gross I am. I'm scared he's gonna come over and be disappointed and leave. I'm scared he's gonna come over and get angry and accuse me of catfishing. I want to get rejected cause I'm fat, but not in person by someone I really like!
Is my fear founded? And if not, can I get someone to psych me up? A "he knows exactly how fat you are from your pics and probably doesn't mind", a " you can't let your weight stop you from living your life!" or something? (If it is founded, please tell/warn me lol.)
[Discussion] Accountability Thread on r/proED?
/u/lil-lottie
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqju6/accountability_thread_on_rproed/
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I’m halfway through my first fast (24 hours) and wanted to make an accountability thread documenting my experience. My next fast will be 48 hours..then 72 hours. Are accountability threads allowed? J/W. I’m new here so I’m not super familiar with this subreddit.
I write myself little meanspos at my desk, and accidentally left one out at work. Oops!
/u/milliet
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:02:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqacb/i_write_myself_little_meanspos_at_my_desk_and/
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Came back from the loo and saw my boss standing near my desk where one of my calligraphy reminders to not eat at my desk had uncurled. God I'm mortified. The piece of paper in question said in lovely curly writing "no food fatty" lol. He must think I'm so extra. (BTW I do eat, I'm just trying to not eat more than my limit at work, and being bored at my desk is hard when restricting. So don't worry about me lol!)
Ever given away anything like that to friends or family? How do you even begin to explain?
[Discussion] Safe Thanksgiving recipe thread
/u/bingeyboa
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:01:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wqa0j/safe_thanksgiving_recipe_thread/
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So, with the great feast rapidly approaching, the great fear comes with it. Like a lot of us on here, though, I LOVE to cook, and am obsessed with feeding other people. As a result I always do the cooking for Thanksgiving, which is pretty great, because that means I can control the recipes we use and I can feel more secure in what I put on my plate.
I usually make a few really low cal bulk foods to fill up on and then try to mitigate the calorie bombs that are the more traditional foods.
In honor of having a safe thanksgiving, I thought we could all share our TiPZzz-n-tRIcKz for Thanksgiving recipes, so feel free to get menu crazy!
men are fucking pigs and im not even suprised
/u/howunfortunate_ [5'3 / cw: 118.2 lbs / bmi: too much / -21 lbs / gw1: 109lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 13 09:01:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wq9z1/men_are_fucking_pigs_and_im_not_even_suprised/
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i know there's guys that come here and i don't wanna shit on you by indirectly shitting on your gender, please dont take this the wrong way!! honestly just venting here.
so, context. this is someone i sext with but we're also close friends. he knows i'm bi so he sometimes he sends me pics of girls he thinks are cute (which makes me jealous and wanna die 🙃 but anyway). he sent a kpop girls face, who happens to be in my thinspo folder that i look at whenever im tempted to buy food lmao.
so i sent a pic of her to be like oh yeah i know her. basically just a pic where you could see her tiny perfect waist. and he was said: "yikes he looks anorexic af". and immediately afterward: "damn id lick her tummy tho"
then later that same night when i lowkey admitted im starving myself again (despite life threatening health issues hahahah,) he tried to talk me out of it saying that i should eat to be healthy during my treatment and weight is unimportant anyway. and that i place a weird chunk on my self steem on how much i weigh which is unhealthy.
fucking. seriously??? REALLY now??? men ogle at women that are 92 lbs and drink nothing but soy milk to diet (which is what the kpop idol said she did in the past) then try to tell me health is what is important. like fuck off. its either one or the other, kiddo!
maybe its because my ED is directly related to seeking validation from men (cliche ik) but holy fuck it grinds my gears. its not the 1st time ive seen men pull shit like this either. the women they jerk off to and fawn over never look as fat as me. the women they crush on never look as pudgy and plain as me. ive never had a real, physical relationship because to men im invisible, being a pudgy, plain, quiet piece of shit nerd.
hey. newsflash. you cannot hold thin women as the pinnacle of beauty then expect me NOT to starve myself. god knows when i'm 97 lbs you won't give a shit how i got there anyway. lmao. thank u and goodnight.
Need support
/u/HonestlyImLying
Created: Tue Nov 13 08:59:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wq9d0/need_support/
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I want someone to talk to for moral support and whatnot. Mostly encouragement and discussing food and eating habits. If you also want that too then send me a PM! So much easier with a friend for support
[Rant/Rave] Slipping
/u/nekkedpebbl [5'2.25🌻100.6🌻-15.4]
Created: Tue Nov 13 08:44:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wq4u3/slipping/
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I’m slipping. I’m losing control. I am failing at everything in my life. I can’t focus because I can’t sleep and I can’t sleep because I’m slipping. I just want to escape from here. I want to leave. I hate myself and my life and what I’ve done with it.
I’m trying so so hard and I’m not good enough. I binged and gained 5 lbs in 3 days. I’m behind in work, behind in school. I’m such a bitch to everyone I know and love
I need to work, need to be productive to catch up and study and not fail, but I can’t focus, can’t find the motivation, don’t want to do anything.
I want to escape.
I'm the designated "food critic" at work...
/u/VoidQuesting
Created: Tue Nov 13 08:34:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wq1l9/im_the_designated_food_critic_at_work/
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...and I fucking *hate* it. I work in food service which is hell in itself but now my coworkers are shoving food in my face for me to guzzle down like the pig bitch I am. I'm not even cooking! I'm literally just a server/cashier!
Anyways I'm about to clock in and if I get one more person running up to me like "cAn YOu trY ThIS????" I'm gonna McFucking(tm) lose it.
[Goal] I finally broke my plateau!!
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Tue Nov 13 08:29:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wq0b1/i_finally_broke_my_plateau/
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I’m in the 140’s now and lost four pounds in two days! I was stuck at 151 for almost a MONTH! THANK YOU ED GODS
[Rant/Rave] Grocery store lunatics
/u/tiny-monaco
Created: Tue Nov 13 08:15:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpvx6/grocery_store_lunatics/
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Every time I'm in there, I see \*multiple\* people using the big scale in the entryway.
​
1) ??????
2) It's three p.m.! You've probably eaten repeatedly by !
3) You're fully dressed!
4) !!!!!!
5) You are WEARING! SHOES!
​
Do people not give one \*whit\* for accuracy?
​
​
Best ice cream
/u/neverthesickestkid
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:50:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpoct/best_ice_cream/
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Archer farms reduced fat mint cookies and cream. Only 330 cals in the whole pint! And tastes just like normal ice cream :)
[Discussion] A short vent... TW - talk of calorie counting
/u/NueNesta
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:47:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpnh3/a_short_vent_tw_talk_of_calorie_counting/
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It's been on my mind lately but have had no one to really share this without judgment. Has anyone else ever had points where you feel overwhelmed with choosing which kind of calories matter and which ones don't?
Normally I don't count the calories in vegetables since they are healthy. But at the same time my mind starts racing with anxiety and feel paranoid that those ones I don't count will add up, and feel like trash when I do gain (even if it's water weight... Yea..)
Any tips on how to feel less... Anxiety? I'm trying to do this without having to depend on anti depressants again..
[Discussion] AskMen on body preferences for women
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpkxb/askmen_on_body_preferences_for_women/
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I went through about every askmen question about body type preferences for women (20 or so total posts) & it was depressing af. 99% of the answers were “thin but I’m okay with chubby”. Ok, reasonable.
Then there were pictures of what is considered “thin” “chubby” etc from my body gallery. The thin ideal was literally a BMI of 16.5!! And chubby was a BMI around 23. Meaning: that’s as far up as they want to go. Others were saying Emily Ratajkowski was a “healthy” look they liked. Look, she is my body goals but it’s just so extreme to think that isn’t borderline underweight. She is allegedly 5’9” and 125lbs but she also has huge boobs. In person I bet she looks so small.
I’m not going to begrudge someone’s preferences. To be fair, they are what I want to look like and we all have things we *prefer*. It was just a bit disheartening that what is seen as a reasonable expectation is actually underweight and that a healthy BMI is “as far as I want to go”. Also, Economist Dan Ariely did a study and found that the ideal BMI for women in the eyes of men is around 19.
Enjoying my new Letsfit watch, best thing ever!
/u/NueNesta
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:34:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpjw1/enjoying_my_new_letsfit_watch_best_thing_ever/
---
https://i.redd.it/p4cdkakwz3y11.jpg
[Discussion] Time rules
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW117.9 | 18.47 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:30:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpivg/time_rules/
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I haven’t ever really set for myself ‘time rules’ like don’t eat after a certain hour: but I’d really like to! What time frame works for you guys/what do you do?
I’m thinking 8:30 but 8 would definitely make it harder to get in.
I want to get so thin that my ex can see the pain he has caused me physically and mentally
/u/shhhnevertellasoul [5'4 | CW 126 | GW 99| Female]
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:16:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpesb/i_want_to_get_so_thin_that_my_ex_can_see_the_pain/
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I know this is crazy... I want my ex fwb, who I fell for to see how thin I get. I want him to realize it's his fucking fault and for him to worry.
Backstory: I thought we were incredibly close friends, who ended up fucking for a bit. Then I stupidly developed feelings for him. Then I find out he only became my friend in the first place because he wanted to fuck me. I was just his fuck toy and easily tossed away when he found someone good enough to make his girlfriend.
While I have always had a bit of disordered eating, mainly emotional eating, I had never starved myself until he dumped me. I just didn't feel like eating and then I realized it's not that big of a deal to starve and lost 20lbs in a month. Since then I've gained back 10lbs of it. I have been battling a binge/restrict cycle for the last 9 months.
I have not seen this man in 10 months. 10 months ago he left the company we both work for, to live in another country. Welp, here is the real fucking kicker, he is coming back to our company to work again in 6 weeks......
I love my job I'm not quitting, but I am going to have to work closely with this man. I will see him and have to talk to him multiple times a day. I still have feelings for him and hate him so much at the same time. My goal is to get down to 110lbs by the time he gets here. Which is even smaller than what I was when I last saw him. Then once he is there I want to starve myself down to 99lbs. I want him to fucking realize that him coming back is fucking painful for me. I want to realize that his actions affect other people. I want him to fucking care about how I feel and for him to worry about me. I want him to give a shit about me for once. I want him to make an effort to fix the friendship we had.
This is so fucked up and I realize how stupid, unhealthy, and crazy it is. I know rationally that he is not worth my health, but starving myself is the only way I feel in control of the situation or my emotions. Without that control, I think I would end up having a breakdown right in front of him.
I needed to tell someone and vent. I have told no one about my ED. There is not a single person who knows, but I would not be surprised if a few friends suspect.
Have any of you ever starved yourself to make others give a fuck about you and to make them worry about you? Or am I that crazy....
Gained.
/u/scarfknitter
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:16:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wperu/gained/
---
Ive put on 20 pounds in a month. Im freaking out.
I knew that I had put on some weight but seeing that has got me totally freaked. I have to eat (for meds and junk) but Im terrified of it at the same time.
[Goal] I am going to starve myself until I die.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:15:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpel1/i_am_going_to_starve_myself_until_i_die/
---
I'm too exhausted and destroyed to go into why I am so fucking depressed, but if you really wanna know, you can check my post history and see pretty much everything (TW: self harm, suicide, abuse).
But I just left my dream college to pursue a new degree that I really want at a much easier school and... I didnt get into the program. The advisor said that I realistically never will, so there's not really a point in trying again. I'm 23 now and after 4 years of extremely challenging schooling, it's all for nothing.
Its the cherry on top of a horrific year. I am done. I have decided how I want to die and this is it. I'm thinking if I just stop eating I'll be dead in about 4 months.
Here we go.
[Rant/Rave] Plateau since September getting me down
/u/LittleLightFawn [5'5" | CW: 138 | GW: 120 | SW: 149 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpe4u/plateau_since_september_getting_me_down/
---
Ugh, I just don't know what to do anymore. Since I bought a scale back in July my weight had been going down (from 149lb) steadily every week, but I reached 137.5 at the end of September and haven't been able to go any lower since. I'm eating below 600 calories 4 days a week and about 1200 - 1500 (about maintenance) on the other 3 days when I see my boyfriend and can't really restrict too much as he'll notice. Really praying for a whoosh right now because DAMN it feels shit to have 0 energy most of the time but not see any results.
​
Anyway, this sub is so supportive and wonderful though, it helps me knowing that other people are struggling like I am, and other others can break the plateau. Thanks guys!
[Rant/Rave] I binge everytime someone tells me it's ok to eat
/u/sioclip [5'1 |100 | 18.9 |F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpd0x/i_binge_everytime_someone_tells_me_its_ok_to_eat/
---
I've been binging for the past three days and it really sucks lol (quick question, when does weight gain show??) and I've gained around 2 pounds can someone please kill me
I just don't get it. Everytime someone tells me that I deserve to eat (some people irl are aware about my ed and they are the best💕) or something like that it would always trigger a binge!!!AAAAaaaa
Has anyone done the snake diet?
/u/lil-lottie
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpbfh/has_anyone_done_the_snake_diet/
---
I’m curious to see what your results were or if you’ve heard of it? I’m going to start today with a 24 hour fast, eat a small meal, then do a 48 hour fast. I’m going to keep extending my fasts as long as I can.
[Other] scale is broken?
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Tue Nov 13 07:03:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wpb19/scale_is_broken/
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so last time i checked i was around 47kg and now after this week of fasting for 24h every other day it says im supposed to be 42? like i knew i would lose some weight but never thought it would be 5kg
like i dont know if its right or my scale broke so ill probably go to the drugstore and use the one there but on the other hand i dont know if i should be happy (but i am) since i cant tell its true
[Discussion] When was the first time you realized losing weight wasn’t going to solve your problems?
/u/sydenyp
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:50:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp7hi/when_was_the_first_time_you_realized_losing/
---
For me it was this morning, while my guy watched me get dressed for work in silence because we aren’t talking to each other right now. I bravely grabbed a pair of slacks I could never button last year thinking, “if they don’t fit I’m already sad, if they do fit maybe I’ll cheer up”. They fit, they’re even loose. It didn’t matter to me.
[Other] Thank You
/u/PinkyOutYo
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp6ae/thank_you/
---
Thank you all.
You may have seen shit I've posted because I'm clearly in the middle of something.
You have all been incredible with your words of support even though it wasn't specifically ED related.
You guys are all incredible and I feel so privileged to have found this community. If any of you ever need anything, you have an internet stranger here.
Every single one of you is a person with immense value to the world, even if you don't always know it. We are all so much more than our EDs even if we feel that it's what defines us. We have hopes and dreams and feelings and friendships and lives.
You, reading this now, are a valuable and important person.
[Rant/Rave] Got a new scale and it says I weigh 1.2 pounds more
/u/cervidaes [5’4 | CW: n o | GW: 125 | UGW: 105]
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:44:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp5v6/got_a_new_scale_and_it_says_i_weigh_12_pounds_more/
---
As the title says I got a new scale recently. I was using a weight watchers scale before which has been used for a long time so I got a new one because I was worried that one was old. I really wish I hadn’t because the new scale says I weigh 1.2 pounds more, consistently. I’m not sure which one to believe. I guess I should believe the new one and just throw the old one out but starting 1.2 pounds higher over again seems so awful to me. Also the thought that my HW was 1.2 pounds more is giving me a panic attack....even though that doesn’t seem like a lot it is really messing with me.
I’m really tempted to throw out my nice new scale and continue to use my old one that says I’m a pound lighter but I feel like that’s a bad idea, I also don’t want to look fatter to other people than I think I am if that makes sense? And now I think I’ll be adding it on in my head anyway
I didn’t think this would fuck me up as bad as it is. I don’t really know what to do about it
is there really no way to just lose thigh fat?
/u/manfromanother-place [5’1.75 | CW:100 | GW: 95 | 18.4]
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:40:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp4xb/is_there_really_no_way_to_just_lose_thigh_fat/
---
i'm (kinda) okay it's my upper body but my thighs are so huge it makes me want to take a knife to them and slice the fat off... :( are there any exercises that target thigh fat specifically?
[Help] Acid reflux anyone?
/u/Catii24 [5'4" | CW: 121.7 | GW: 108 | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:38:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp4dv/acid_reflux_anyone/
---
The past week or so I think I’ve been suffering with acid reflux, most likely bulimia related. Wondering if anyone else has experienced this and knows anything that can help alleviate the pain? It feels like a burning sensation sort of at the base of my chest and it hurts like crazy, also get really breathless & nauseous.
Anyone got any tips (other than “stop purging”, cause I’m already trying)? I was literally up all last night just lying in bed in pain 😞
uh oh
/u/MudBulli
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:37:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp3x1/uh_oh/
---
Okay not meant to scare anybody but I just had 2 rice cakes and I’m currently in the bathroom ready to throw up and pass out (probably at the same time) and I haven’t a clue what’s happening. I haven’t been restricting that hard (even had 800 calories yesterday) and I’m not having a panic attack or feeling guilty about eating. Is this just a coincidence or are rice cakes vengeful? This has never happened before.
[Rant/Rave] rant that is only mildly ed related;thanksgiving stress already
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:105.4 | bmi: 18.67 | F | 24]
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:26:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp198/rant_that_is_only_mildly_ed_relatedthanksgiving/
---
so ever since my bf and i moved into our house together, we host thanksgiving for his immediate family. last year was the first time, and it was stressful, i tried to take on a bit too much, but ultimately i think it went well. this year, i have been planning and testing recipes, was going to use my slow cooker and instant pot to spread out some recipes into easier ways to cook. i was super excited. plus, the mashed potatoes, turkey, and stuffing recipe i was making was from skinny taste, so it wouldnt be stupidly calorie dense!!
now im anxious and feel shitty because my bf let me know that his mom wants to bring the turkey this year. wtf?? i asked him "she wants to *bring* a whole turkey roast? i mean, that sounds like a lot of work for her, but if she wants to..." and he insisted that she really wanted to bring it and to let her take care of that while i did the other dishes.
what, the fuck! first of all, now i dont know whats going in that turkey. is she gonna fill the under skin with butter? i dont know! so now im slightly afraid to eat it. and second of all, i said it was fine but it only took about a minute for me to start feeling insulted. i must have done a pretty bad job last year if shes insisting on bringing the **MAIN** dish to a dinner that **IM** hosting. i remember the turkey being a bit dry, but ok, and that was my first time ever roasting a turkey so i was just impressed that it was cooked and edible and didnt catch on fire or something. but i guess i did such a shit job on that stupid bird that im not allowed to make the thanksgiving turkey at my own thanksgiving now.
i love to cook, i really do. but i hate confrontation. so of course im not gonna bring it up again. and im just gonna make a ton of sides as best as i can. and im gonna cry for awhile this morning because this is bothering me so much cause im a huge baby. and im not even in full control of the dinner and food at i will eat at my own house. fuck me.
Seriously, it's been twelve years, how was I not aware of this? Is this legit?
/u/PinkyOutYo
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:26:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wp15c/seriously_its_been_twelve_years_how_was_i_not/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/9wjhsm/eli5_why_does_cooked_food_offer_more_calories/
[Discussion] Am I the only one who eats breakfast?
/u/andinev
Created: Tue Nov 13 06:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wox41/am_i_the_only_one_who_eats_breakfast/
---
I feel like everyone else with an ED awaits until lunch or dinner to eat, but on the days I work (which is every weekday) I have to eat breakfast. It makes me feel so guilty sometimes but if I don’t do it I will not be able to think about anything but food until I do eat. (I also walk over a mile to work at 6am so maybe that’s part of it lol) A lot of the time I can skip lunch or dinner or keep them really low cal, but without breakfast in the morning I’m a sleepy hangry bitch. On the weekends when I don’t work I eat all my food in the evenings tho.
Do any of you who eat breakfast have ideas for low cal options that will keep me full until dinner?
Do I need to stop fasting?
/u/plshelpsomeone [5’4 | 127| 21.8 | 4lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 13 05:38:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wop73/do_i_need_to_stop_fasting/
---
I haven’t had much experience with fasting, usually only intermittently, but I’ve been trying to do a 48 hour one. Right now, I’m about 24 hours in and when I woke up this morning I was really dizzy and my heart was beating pretty fast. I’m going to be at school today and decided against going on a run so am I fine to finish up the fast?
Meal plan for the lazy?
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | +7.6 | LW: 107.8 | GW: 109]
Created: Tue Nov 13 05:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9womt5/meal_plan_for_the_lazy/
---
Can you recommend a place that has daily meal plans for under 1100 calories per day, with very easy/non fancy meals?
[Rant/Rave] Someone stole my laxatives
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Tue Nov 13 05:21:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wolfy/someone_stole_my_laxatives/
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I put my purse in a locker at work and I have a pill case that I put tums, Advil and laxatives in just in case. Someone opened it and took all the laxatives lmao. I hope they took them all at once. Asshole.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday November 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 13 05:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wois1/thinspo_tuesday_november_13_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 13, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 13 05:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9woilz/daily_food_diary_november_13_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 13, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] What do you consider slow progress?
/u/absolutecretin
Created: Tue Nov 13 05:04:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wohl6/what_do_you_consider_slow_progress/
---
So I started out at 215 lbs at 5”4 about 4 weeks ago.
I’m now down to 188 lbs and managed to basically lose a lb a day / every other day from exercising every day and sticking to about 500-800 calories a day.
But since last week that’s REALLY slowed down. I only lost 2 lbs total last week and I’ve been stuck at 188 lbs for the last few days.
Because I was used to that progress, losing .2 of a lb every day seems ridiculously slow.
I wanted to be down to 173 by two weeks time but I don’t think it’s doable at this rate anymore.
So is this still slow progress? What do you consider slow? How can I speed it up just a little bit?
[Discussion] Are there any subs for bonespo?
/u/lisztomaniac2
Created: Tue Nov 13 05:01:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wogtp/are_there_any_subs_for_bonespo/
---
If not, do you guys want one?
[Rant/Rave] And I was having a good day, too.
/u/brattyfawn
Created: Tue Nov 13 04:45:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wodfg/and_i_was_having_a_good_day_too/
---
So I got the job I've been really wanting today, and when I weighed myself this morning I was down to 103.4 pounds, so needless to say I was feeling quite good today.
But of course, something has to fuck that up, right?
I was just in the car with one of my housemates and telling him that my ex hit me up on the 'gram in response to a gym selfie I posted the other day, and he asked to see the selfie, to "see if I look too skinny in it" (yes, that's a verbatim quote). I didn't want to show him because homeboy gets real weird about my weight and knows some of my ED history, and has threatened to basically "tell on me" if he sees any disordered behaviours from me (as in, tell my therapist I need to go IP or something), but he was insistent so I showed him.
His response? "Oh, well. That's okay. You don't look that thin there. You're not like, contorting your body to look skinnier or anything. In fact, you look almost healthy!"
Thanks dude, I was looking for some extra encouragement to stop my efforts at getting to an 18.5 BMI and maintaining there. I'll gladly keep going below that if I don't look 'that thin' at 18.8.
(I'm aware he doesn't get what it's like for me to hear that shit, but still. Fucked me up. Thanks for listening, guys)
What weird concoctions do you make when there’s no food in the house?
/u/Firebug__ [5”6 | 100lbs | BMI 16 | 18F | b/p & c/s | 🍑 firebugg]
Created: Tue Nov 13 04:29:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9woa4p/what_weird_concoctions_do_you_make_when_theres_no/
---
Current situation. Ate through everything remotely appealing to where there is now veggies, white rice, condiments and milk.
Contemplating putting peanut butter on rice
[Help] Restricting without purpose
/u/nejkon
Created: Tue Nov 13 03:47:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wo1p2/restricting_without_purpose/
---
For like, the last 2 weeks, I haven't really been feeling any anxiety regarding what I eat (partly due to being more depressed than eating disordered rn lol). However I still restrict? Like I don't feel any sort of need to lose weight or control what I eat yet I do it anyway??? Is anyone else at all familiar with this or am I just being weird?? Sorry for making 0 sense
[Help] Question for those who practice 2-5 IF
/u/StressedCookie
Created: Tue Nov 13 03:45:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wo1cc/question_for_those_who_practice_25_if/
---
I've been trouble going back to restricting again because my classmates usually eat lunch after class. I have classes with them MWF and Sat. It's been really hard to restrict under 300. I'm trying a new plan where I still try OMAD for MWF and S then fast during Tues Thurs and Sunday. It sounds like a good plan but it's tuesday now and I'm fasting...it just doesn't feel the same? It feels like my weight won't go down this way. Of course, I'll exercise too!
[Tip] Tips on breaking a binge cycle
/u/ler330
Created: Tue Nov 13 02:51:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wnqj6/tips_on_breaking_a_binge_cycle/
---
I recently moved to a new country for my husband’s work and I’ve been using food as a cooping mechanism and eating a shit ton. In two months I put on 8 lbs and I can’t seem to stop the compulsive eating. Fellow binge eaters, how have you pulled yourself out of the cycle in the past?
I hate myself so much
/u/fart_away
Created: Tue Nov 13 02:42:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wnong/i_hate_myself_so_much/
---
I wanna starve until I turn stick thin
[Help] I met a guy today and we're gonna hook up, but I'm so big rn. How do I stop retaining water fast?
/u/FluffyEbb
Created: Tue Nov 13 02:12:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wniw1/i_met_a_guy_today_and_were_gonna_hook_up_but_im/
---
I broke up with my boyfriend recently and met a guy today. He's really hot but he weighs less than me. I've also been binging for the past week and I have around 10-13 pounds of water weight on me. What do I do guys?
[Rant/Rave] Being forced to binge is the worst
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Tue Nov 13 02:06:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wnhpb/being_forced_to_binge_is_the_worst/
---
My parents forced me to eat like 2500+ calories (they are obese, so that's normal for them). I had just gotten out of a binge cycle so being forced to binge felt horrible. Specially since they made me eat so much it literally H U R T. I purged a bit but not much came out. Then I told my parents that I didn't want dinner and they looked angrily at me so I had to eat even more. I felt sick from the purging and the enourmous amount of food.
They forced me to binge again today but I held back the need to puke. I had eaten dinner with my bf and was already very full. But they bought my favorite food and threatened to throw it away if I didn't eat it tonight. That made me feel guilty bc it's expensive so I ate it. My stomach hurts so much... I just feel horrible all over but I'm trying not to think about it.
I want to cry. I'm angry but I can't do shit about it. I have no control over anything, not even what I eat. I think I'm going to try and stay at school rlly late so I can restrict heavily for a few days. Maybe that'll give me some control. Sorry for the long rant tho.
[Rant/Rave] 1 meal a day
/u/bunntatt [157cm | 75kg | 30 BMI | 9kg | F]
Created: Tue Nov 13 01:21:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wn8zl/1_meal_a_day/
---
Have been having only 1 meal a day and my weight is finally going down after binging the past two weeks!! Planning on actually exercising a TON, hopefully I. Can reach my goal weight before New Years <3
If you were invited to a someone's house for dinner, what food would you hope was served?
/u/feiturdrengur [174 cm | 77 kg | BMI 25.43 | 28M]
Created: Tue Nov 13 01:10:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wn6zv/if_you_were_invited_to_a_someones_house_for/
---
Asking because I love cooking, especially for people with special dietary restrictions (vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, allergen free, keto/paleo, low cal, etc.)
One time my then girlfriend wanted me to cook for her five friends and told me one of them had an eating disorder. I kind of wish she hadn't told me because I feel it was a breach of confidentiality between them but having been told about it I was extremely nervous about freaking her out with calorie dense food. Though I obviously shouldn't make assumptions about her diet choices, being disordered myself I kind of wanted to make it pretty reasonably healthy so nobody would feel the urge to purge that night.
So I made a pretty tasty vegetable and chicken soup and for dessert I made an exotic fruit salad with optional whipped cream on the side. Apparently everybody loved it, and that one friend complemented the food *a lot*, so I hope she felt alright that night.
So if you were invited to someone's house, what would you secretly wish was served?
[Other] I can't deal with getting fat.
/u/theraginingfuckwit
Created: Tue Nov 13 00:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wn07v/i_cant_deal_with_getting_fat/
---
I just can't. The anxiety and sadness I get is just bad. For example, I had a medium coke today which is got for free. I'm beating myself up about it. Today I only at a whole chicken (only less than 200 cal) and a zucchini and potato dish on a 1,200 cal restriction. I'm really craving another soda because it's hot. And I don't drink soda much. Only once in a while (maybe once a month or two months) but I'm craving another one bad and I don't know what to do. I'm 53kgs. I have a fat torso though. Today I have probably eating 1,000 calories.
I just can't deal anymore. I don't know what to do. I also work in fast food and they give me free drinks and sometimes free food and it's hard to refuse. I always say "one cheeseburger wont make me gain weight" and I have a hard time knowing if that's true or not. I want to look like a victoria secret model, not the fat blob I am. I'm stuck.
[Rant/Rave] I’m losing myself more and more
/u/cutetinytroll
Created: Tue Nov 13 00:34:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wmzq5/im_losing_myself_more_and_more/
---
TMI but posting it will make me feel better. Cried during sex and had to stop because I could feel the folds of my skin touching and felt disgusting. Been with my S/O for sooo long and that’s never happened but lately I’ve felt so.. gross. Idk anyone else way too conscious of their body placement? On a good note haven’t purged in 12 days but have been restricting like crazy because of it
How many calories does mental distress burn?
/u/_h20hno
Created: Mon Nov 12 23:40:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wmoeb/how_many_calories_does_mental_distress_burn/
---
I am going to a friend's house for dinner/drinks who I don't get to see super often. I'm stressed as shit because his partner is quite a big lady who cooks everything laden in butter/cream/gravy/other caloric unnecessary decadence. I don't even know what we're having, how many calories are in it, and how to not eat it without a)offending them, b)raising questions I don't want to deal with. I don't want to make them feel bad like "oh I'm already smaller than you and no I don't want to eat any of this dinner you slaved over". There's only 4 of us and they eat a lot so I don't know how to have a tiny plate without seeming like I hate it. They asked us to bring dessert as well what the fuck do I do there?UGH I just want to have dinner with friends without having a week long existential crisis about it. Fuck. Game is hard. Thanks for listening.
Some metric just can’t be right
/u/TotallyNotARadar [6'1" | CW:110 | GW:105 | BMI: 13.86 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 23:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wmijx/some_metric_just_cant_be_right/
---
Okay so I do this weird thing every month or so where I go through the DSM5 AN definition and just check in with which parts I seem to have and which I don’t. Why, who knows, but whatever—not the point. Anyways, so extreme AN is considered a BMI <=15.
I just realized today that I’ve been between a (standard) BMI of 14.2-15 for a while now and I... feel fine. I don’t feel like I’m extreme, I don’t feel like I’m really that 14.5 or whatever. I feel totally god damn normal. I don’t see any of the negative health effects. I’m not at risk of passing out if I run up the stairs. I don’t see spots. I can’t see as many bones as you all seem to at higher BMIs than I do either. So what gives?
I’ve weighed myself on multiple scales so I know that’s not wrong. I know I’m over six feet because I’ve used a measured on the wall. That leaves just one thing right? That BMI doesn’t work for my body type? Do I have like way more leg and less torso than the average person or something?
how do you guys exercise in winter? and does anyone have clever/fun ideas?
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"2 || 104]
Created: Mon Nov 12 23:06:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wmh00/how_do_you_guys_exercise_in_winter_and_does/
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usually in the summer I like jogging outside...I'm stuck at home with no gym membership. I jog in place now while studying but that's honestly miserable lol.
[Discussion] I got fetishized for being anorexic. Has anyone else dealt with this?
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 91 | gw: idk anymore| 23f]
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:41:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wmb43/i_got_fetishized_for_being_anorexic_has_anyone/
---
It really sucks. I dont actually mind being fetishized for being thin (society basically does that already) but being fetishized for having an eating disorder...it just made me feel dirty. Like even this private, screwed up part of me is looked at in this way. I dont want people to get some thrill when my health gets worse. It makes me feel sad, i dont even know why.
The one thing that actually made me angry was that he said he was glad because he preferred anorexic girls. This isn't some stupid choice! I'm not doing this for you!! Ugh I'm so sickened
(treats body like shit) wow wtf why is my body failing me?
/u/sleepyboyblue [5'5 | CW 110 | GW 80 | M]
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:41:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wmb3r/treats_body_like_shit_wow_wtf_why_is_my_body/
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ate decently for a week after a health scare, thought i was safe and went back to b/ping and restricting but after two (2) days my hair started coming out again i want a refund on all those calories smh
The girl that bullied me in high school got fat then got a gastric bypass and she continued eating badly losing little to no weight now she’s a “plus size model”.
/u/mennnaai [5’4/ cw 111 / hw 200 👹/ gw 100🧝🏻♀️]
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:38:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wmaim/the_girl_that_bullied_me_in_high_school_got_fat/
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My grandma
/u/JuBelen [5'4"/1.64mts | 119lbs/54kg | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:36:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm9zj/my_grandma/
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My grandma got super depressed when her sister died, bad, and developed some sort of eating disorder. I don't know the details because I was a kid when it happened and never asked, but it's been years and now I see that some of that is still there. She keeps talking about how fat she is, lamenting that she doesn't look like she did after my aunt died (when she was Bad), and generally eats very little compared to what she used to before.
I go visit her very often (two or three times a week) and she always mentions how good I'm looking. I lost 30kg in the last year due to stress; lost my job, dropped out of school, split out with my gf, a great year basically lmao and it was completely unintentional. But now that everyone keeps complimenting me for how I look I feel like I can never go back to my past weight.
Everytime I see her she has some comment to make about a celebrity, a relative, a neighbour who "is a bit chubby" and compares me to them, "You look good now". I always bake things for her (cookies, cake, etc. I like cooking) to have with our tea when I go visit and make sure she eats something of what I bring but then I go vomit whatever little I had myself, or I only have one meal a day.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I just want to put it into words. I feel fake because I worry about her when she's in good health actually even if she's unhappy with her body (which is great for a 70yo) but then I don't worry about myself and my own health, only about my looks (I don't every care about my weight, I just want to fit into smaller clothes, see my bones, lose my period permanently).
I apologize if this is messy or difficult to understand, English isn't my first language and I am very tired (it's 02:30 am right now). Thank you for reading.
[Rant/Rave] Purging chocolate is awful
/u/essentialmeerkat
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:29:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm877/purging_chocolate_is_awful/
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I just broke a fast with 450 calories of chocolate, panicked (EVEN THOUGH THATS ALL I"VE HAD AND UNDER MY DAILY ALLOWANCE) and purged. It was so slimy and kept on getting caught in my throat. 0/10 would not purge again.
I just binged on 80 bucks worth of food
/u/anilhe
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm5ho/i_just_binged_on_80_bucks_worth_of_food/
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Hitting an all-time low.
I mean, I've binged on worse, but price-wise, this is really bad.
I just bought a new toothbrush and used it to puke. What a shame.
Ironically, this brand of toothbrush is the same as the one I accidentally swallowed while purging five years ago.
Anyway, I'm so done with this. I wish I could restrict without obsessing about food. I just want to be skinny and pure.
First Attempt at Purging
/u/Dreaming_Lightly
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:11:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm3xc/first_attempt_at_purging/
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I just tried to purge, but I waited too long after eating, so I threw up barely a sixteenth of what I ate for supper. Any help on how to get rid of more? It hurts to have nothing come up.
Those of you who drink, how do you minimize calorie intake at the bar? What are your typical drink orders and habits?
/u/macaroni_veteran
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:08:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm35u/those_of_you_who_drink_how_do_you_minimize/
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recovery without parents knowing?
/u/pineapple513 [5'3"| 110 | 19.5 ]
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:07:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm2yt/recovery_without_parents_knowing/
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okay so I've been b/ping for almost 2 years now (I'm 16) and I'm just so so exhausted. it has gotten way worse than I told myself I could ever let it get. my binges are bigger than they've ever been and I'm purging sometimes 3 times a day and I'm just so terrified. It feels like forever since I've had a good day of just restricting or even eating at my TDEE and I need to fix myself to feel *some* control. The only problem is that not a single person knows and I don't feel close enough to anyone to tell them. so basically do any of you have tips or advice on how to self-recover without support from friends/family? or is it possible to tell a school counselor without them having to report to parents? I'm a high schooler in CA and I'm not sure if eds fall under mandated reporting. I would really appreciate guidance because I'm so tired and I just don't know what to do.
[Other] Is anyone on here in Toronto?
/u/malxee
Created: Mon Nov 12 22:02:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm1g2/is_anyone_on_here_in_toronto/
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One of my fantasies have always been making an irl friend that also has an ED, so we could both laugh together at the sick things we do, obviously not pro Ana or anything but just making light of a situation?
If you are in Toronto pls contact me lol
[Goal] I’m going to attempt the impossible
/u/thebombchu
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:57:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wm065/im_going_to_attempt_the_impossible/
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I’m going to cut out chips cold turkey. I cut soda out of my diet around 5-6 years ago the same way, and I lost a lot of weight. That was easy for me because I wasn’t ever really a fan of sweet stuff. Which is really odd because I was addicted to it for some reason. I’d guzzle down a good 7 cans of soda a DAY. Disgusting, I know. But now I can’t even stand the thought of drinking one!
But ANYWAYYYS. Chips are my kryptonite. I could binge on them for hours. I love all kinds of chips. Hot Cheetos, spicy chili Doritos, cheddar cheese and sour cream Ripples. Ughh. I’m really gonna miss them. I really hope I’ll be able to do this.
I have dance competitions coming up this winter and I think cutting out chips is really going to help make myself look better
Wish me luck y’all!!
[Other] I had to get a root canal today
/u/hollywoodcrybaby
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:51:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlyw6/i_had_to_get_a_root_canal_today/
---
My tooth was completely rotted and split in two, most likely due to purging several times a week for what has now been, like, a third of my life. Sucks. But the upside is that now that I’m literally in too much pain to chew food I have a great excuse for a liquid fast. Is it fucked up that the extremely painful consequences of one of my ED tendencies is literally fuel for another?
I just purged for the first time
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 24F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:50:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlykr/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time/
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I could feel myself forcing myself to eat more so that I could justify purging. I had to get 4 apples and a larabar up before the full package of mac and cheese and brownie and cookies.
Toilet puke kept splashing my face, and the whole time I was thinking about how disappointed my fiance would be, but I just kept going until I couldn't get anything else up.
Under my eyes felt really puffy, I wasn't expecting that. There were tears on my glasses and puke on my shirt, and when I turned around and looked in the mirror afterwards I didn't even recognize myself.
I looked so miserable and defeated.
I don't even feel light and free like when I fast or restrict heavily, I just feel like I did something wrong, and still like a fat blob.
I want to thank you guys though, I think I would have started doing this a lot sooner without all of your warnings not to start the cycle, and the descriptions of how bad it is. I probably should have listened. I hope I can remember this the next time I feel the need to binge or purge, and how emotionally empty this whole ordeal has made me feel.
[Discussion] DAE get scared to break fasts?
/u/essentialmeerkat
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:43:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlwxv/dae_get_scared_to_break_fasts/
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It's like I know I'll have to eat eventually and I even want to eat! but I know as soon as I do the scale is going to go up and even if it's just water or food weight, it's fucking t e r r i f y i n g!!!!!! ughhhh I wish I could just fast forever and feel happy and satisfied.
[Rant/Rave] Frustrated
/u/essentialmeerkat
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:38:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlvos/frustrated/
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I've been fasting and I really wanted to break it with a piece of grilled steak. Steak is yummy and has lots of protein, I was so excited! It was supposed to be the only thing I ate today. I opened my fridge to find that my brother ate it and I'm panicking because tomorrow is grocery day so we're all out of low carb options that I actually enjoy, so I guess I'm just going to keep fasting. This is so fucking frustrating, he literally knew that steak was mine and I even made him a piece so that he wouldn't be tempted to eat mine and he ate both.
[Help] what to expect in OP?
/u/sonofagun70124
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:20:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlr1h/what_to_expect_in_op/
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post 2 of what is sure to be one of many posts about my therapy adventures!
tomorrow I get my intake for my eating disorder therapy, meet the doctors and all that, and im more than a little terrified. i have absolutely no clue what to expect. are they going to weigh me? what kind of meal plan can I expect if they give me one? are they going to think I'm fat cuz im not all bones? what will get me thrown into IP? ugh. i can't sleep. ive been dwelling on this all week. any answers would be appreciated. (further context, I'm a minor and have had no prior treatment or official diagnosis of an eating disorder.)
Mental Fitness
/u/goawaythrowaway88
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:13:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlpgl/mental_fitness/
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I recovered, got a career, ballooned to my highest weight ever but have lost some of it, and I want to get back into some of my ED patterns.
I want to be able to not eat and exercise without wasting so much of my time. I'm really hungry now and all my mental energy is spent on a tug-of-war of "im hungry, fuck, need food" and "don't fucking do it! look at models."
Also I hate the fatigue that comes with not eating. I want an ED, but without wanting to sleep 15 hours a day.
What do you do to offset these effects? Basically avoid wasting your entire psyche on wanting to eat less/starve/be beautiful.
[Discussion] a small bedtime rant
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:11:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wloyr/a_small_bedtime_rant/
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i don’t fit in any skirts anymore. at all. dresses i order online are too big on me. shopping is becoming a nightmare. and- (here’s the kicker) i’m still in the HEALTHY weight range. i still want to lose 10 LB.
where am i supposed to find cute clothes??? the vanity sizing is out of control at urban outfitters, free people, topshop, madewell etc. aka all of my favorite stores :( what is a girl to do??
[Discussion] FitBit or Apple Watch?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Mon Nov 12 21:08:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlo46/fitbit_or_apple_watch/
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Do you guys use either? For heart rate monitoring? Steps? Calories?
What do you use it for and why do you like it?
After 4.5 years of recovery, I'm slipping back into relapse.
/u/letscallusyou
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:52:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wljw5/after_45_years_of_recovery_im_slipping_back_into/
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It's been 15 years since this shit started.
I've been mostly fine since April 2014. Every fall/winter my many mental illnesses gets worse and I'm used to that by now but this time this year I'm slipping down and falling hard and fast down that slope and with it all comes the old familiar thoughts that make my food taste like cardboard and I need to be empty.
I weighed myself today for the first time in a long time. I could tell I'd lost weight but still. I looked too thin already. I had been on a weight gain plan all summer trying to gain curves. I wanted to be bigger. I still do.
None of this makes any sense.
[Rant/Rave] I ate a fucking moldy bagel
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:45:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wli3x/i_ate_a_fucking_moldy_bagel/
---
I was so hungry I was halfway through before I realized. When I realized, all I did was cut the mold off FML.
[Help] Embarrassing secret
/u/macespacee
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:45:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlhxu/embarrassing_secret/
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I’m not sure if I started masturbating to skinny girls/thinspo bc I was attracted to them or bc I wanted to be them, but either way , if I feel a binge coming on I do it bc it sort of cements the idea of SKINNY IS BEATY in my head when I’m In that venerable state . I feel embarrassed but I can’t get off to girls that aren’t skinny. Help? Anyone else do this?
[Discussion] Juul
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:30:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wle2u/juul/
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So I was visiting my boyfriend and I got to try a Juul for the first time. It is so amazing for appetite suppression, I had to force myself to eat because I was otherwise not feeling hungry, anyways. Does anyone else use a juul or similar product?
Looking for a buddy with similar stats to talk over Snapchat
/u/ibettershutup
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:20:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlbcn/looking_for_a_buddy_with_similar_stats_to_talk/
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[removed]
[Tip] Keeping "Full"
/u/Avacasia [5'5" | CW 177.4lbs | GW 98lbs | 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:17:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wlaf3/keeping_full/
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When I had lost my weight in the past one of the things I did when I was wanting to eat was to drink diet coke until i was full and didn't feel like eating anymore, being back on day one, i went out and bought a pack and i'm waiting for them to get cold. Another one of those things was to load up on caffeine pills and zero cal energy drinks. What are some things you do to keep "full"
when you wanna comment "well actually... sometimes I purge"
/u/Bananachipsfor2bucks
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:08:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl84c/when_you_wanna_comment_well_actually_sometimes_i/
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https://i.redd.it/i59f2u7ll0y11.png
When the coast is clear and I can finally binge
/u/Annielizabeth319
Created: Mon Nov 12 20:05:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl787/when_the_coast_is_clear_and_i_can_finally_binge/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/9weea7/heck_this_is_me/
[Rant/Rave] Started the day off right, ended with a binge.
/u/HotTeaComfySocks [5'1| CW: 126.6 | SW: 136.6 | GW: 110-105 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:58:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl5gw/started_the_day_off_right_ended_with_a_binge/
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I started my day thanking this community for the inspiration, then ended my night with a binge. I purged what I could, but ultimately the scale will go up tomorrow, and it's the result of unnecessary eating to avoid doing actual work. I just want this to be a good week. There's definitely still time to get back on the right foot, it just sucks to end a Monday with a failure.
[Goal] Who else wishs/wants to be one of those “super active” people?
/u/freakedout_wtf
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:55:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl4kx/who_else_wishswants_to_be_one_of_those_super/
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You know the ones:
They seem so calm and are generally semi-liked by most. They aren’t trashy messes, at least to the naked eye.
They spend their free time indoor rock-climbing, doing 5ks, do their daily 6am jog, are always doing fun activities like skiing, snow-boarding, and hiking.
Even if they go out and drink and eat shit, they probably burn so many calories/spend enough time not around food because they are busy with activities, that they have relatively low fat%
The men are typically a liiiittle less shitty than many, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s that state of mind..?
Alas, I am too much of a shut-in.... And my friends are either too broke or make some excuse up so they don’t go.
But that’s one of my goals- to stop wasting time doing nothing, and be around people who wanna better themselves and who are active and hyper and fun.
Fuck being shy and insecure :(
PS how many yall are like this? Howd you start?
I did it. I’m finally underweight.
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW117.9 | 18.47 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:52:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl3r9/i_did_it_im_finally_underweight/
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I can’t believe this but at the same time I’ve never felt so accomplished. But I’m not happy yet. But also...
Fuck yes!! Just in time for the holidays! I’m more motivated than ever to keep this up.
And icing on the sugar-free cake, I measured my waist at juuuust under 23.5 inches!! Fuck I’m in a good mood tonight. How should I celebrate?
[Help] URGENT: DARK POOP!!!! HELP
/u/7kgs [17M|60KG|1,80CM]
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl3o0/urgent_dark_poop_help/
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so i pooped and it was very dark... i googled about it and a lot of sites say it may be bc of an internal bleeding/CANCER??????? im freaking out :( yesterday i did a 21h water fast and then binged..... today ive been feeling dizzy and nauseous!!! i don't know what to do t_______t
[Help] Ate and don’t hate myself, what did I do different today?
/u/macespacee
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:45:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl1s3/ate_and_dont_hate_myself_what_did_i_do_different/
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Days like this make me question if I even have a disorder. I ate a normal amount of food (slightly under my maintenance but who’s counting? Oh yeah Me still even tho I don’t feel guilty) but anyways, I feel full, satisfied, and not like I ate too much or too little. I don’t feel like binging , or purging or anything. What can I do to feel like this every day? If I ate everyday like I did today I could steadily and healthily lose weight, but instead I binge and fast like crazy. I wish I could feel like I do right now forever .
[Help] Please god someone help me
/u/Kchillthanx
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wl0r4/please_god_someone_help_me/
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I spent a month in residential and now I’m home again. I’ve been restricting some and no longer purging but the binging still happens occasionally and I did badly tonight and I’m blowing up.
When I was in residential I found out my husband was cheating on me. Our house is up for sale now. We’re still deciding on divorce or to try to make things work.
Please god someone tells me this gets easier. My life is falling apart and I’m getting fat too.
[Discussion] Models with Eating Disorders
/u/cold_melon [5'7'' | cw110.8 | bmi 17.4 | 23F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkxot/models_with_eating_disorders/
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I’m a very curious creature tonight. Do you know of any models with eating disorders currently or in the past? Any you suspect may have one? I’m not quite sure why I care... why do I care?
friend confronted me about how 'unhealthy' i look, then my mom told me i looked 'so thin' literally the next day
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 89 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:28:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkx2m/friend_confronted_me_about_how_unhealthy_i_look/
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i don't know how to feel right now. i can see that i look pretty thin now and i'm almost happy with my body, but without clothes on, i think my thighs still look a little bit chubby and i could stand to lose a few. what the fuck is wrong with me??? i can't help but think that they only think i look thin because being overweight is so normalized in america, but neither my friend nor my mom are even close to being overweight. this was after a really bad binge weekend as well. when i saw my mom, i was wearing 2 sweaters, a jacket, a pair of baggy jeans, and leggings underneath those. i don't know how the hell she could even tell i'd lost weight. i haven't seen her since august and i've only lost 10 lbs since then so i didn't think it would be as apparent? i'm confused and upset because this is fucking with my head. i'm 30ish hours into my planned 120 hour fast and my mom just texted me 'don't forget to eat' so now i feel horribly guilty, but not enough to break the fast. am i really that sick???
Im always hungry
/u/rosepetalmemories
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:27:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkwtg/im_always_hungry/
---
That's about it... I already ate dinner and I'm sure I l ate way too much yet I'm still hungry. These past three days have been a bust for me diet wise.
Do y’all think C/S would break a fast?
/u/_idealixtic
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:26:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkwif/do_yall_think_cs_would_break_a_fast/
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I mean, I feel like it’s not physically possible to spit out absolutely everything, but do you think I’d end up swallowing enough to break a fast?
I asked in the fasting page with my throwaway, I’m expecting a bunch of hate, I’m just hoping someone will answer. I’m trying to prevent a B/P.
Obviously neither are good for you, I just think C/S is the lesser of two evils? Maybe. Idek.
[Discussion] Does anyone else carry their weight in their thighs and does it screw with you insanely?
/u/edthrowawayy123
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:22:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkv84/does_anyone_else_carry_their_weight_in_their/
---
I really do not know how to drastically reduce the size of my thighs without obviously doing cardio but I am SO bad at cardio. I’m going insane and I cannot deal with my thighs touching when I’m lying on my side or wearing shorts. It’s getting too much for me sigh
[Rant/Rave] Gained like 8 pounds my first 4 months at college and I’m ~suicidal~
/u/miss-atomic-bom
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkujm/gained_like_8_pounds_my_first_4_months_at_college/
---
So after successfully restricting over the summer and losing 20 pounds in 2 months (quick flex sorry) I had to start college. I tried like reaaaaallllly low restricting which was a bad idea because combined with college stress i got caught in this weird binge restrict cycle. For a while I maintained, but the binging felt so miserable I decided to stop restricting to see if the binge urges stopped. They didn’t! And I just stepped on the scale and I’m at least 8 pounds heavier than my lowest weight from September and like 6 pounds heavier than when I started college. I literally don’t know what to do and thanksgiving is coming up which is already giving me so much anxiety. Like I look so disgusting I want to crawl into a hole and die. I was so happy and confident when I was 130 and so close to being in the 20s and I threw it all away. Just a quick PSA that food is NOT as good as being skinny. Please give me strength as I try to relose this weight in the worst possible time to be dieting.
[Help] TMI: haven’t pooped in over 10 days and want to low-key binge in hopes that it’ll pass
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:16:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wktmr/tmi_havent_pooped_in_over_10_days_and_want_to/
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Anyone know if this will work?
Like if I have a mini binge (maybe 400-500 calories) of unhealthy foods, will I poop?
[Rant/Rave] Dealing with a loved one in the hospital and my eating disorder at the same time.
/u/anotherthrowawayikes
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wksg5/dealing_with_a_loved_one_in_the_hospital_and_my/
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Recently, my boyfriend went to the hospital. He has been struggling with depression and as soon as I heard the news, my heart dropped. He’s doing okay now but I still can’t help but worry. My eating disorder is based around my weight but also it’s also a control thing. So right now, I wish I could help him but I can’t. The only thing I can control is my weight. So, I’m taking all my emotions out on myself. I know he wouldn’t want me to worry so much but I can’t help it. It’s been years since I’ve met him and he’s such an important person in my life. Not only as a boyfriend but a best friend. I just hope he gets the help he needs. I also wish my eating disorder could go away. It’s times like this where I wish I could be normal.
[Rant/Rave] SO easy to relapse :,(
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 56kg| 19.0 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:06:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkqt5/so_easy_to_relapse/
---
It’s been two days eating under 600 calories. Already my mind is foggy with thoughts of food, I am back to obsessing over what goes in my body.
Today I ate 1,500 because of a birthday dinner, and my mind is screaming TOO MUCH .
My point is, it is SO so easy to fall back into hell. Granted I have been b/p the last few months, but never managed to restrict, until now..
[Rant/Rave] I hate the maker of nutella
/u/imaginary_gerl
Created: Mon Nov 12 19:02:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkpj0/i_hate_the_maker_of_nutella/
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FUCK YOU
How do you guys handle Thanksgiving?
/u/hereinthemoment
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:50:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkm9f/how_do_you_guys_handle_thanksgiving/
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I’m thinking of fasting hopefully a whole day before, and then eating a decent amount. No breakfast or lunch, just wait until dinner. How do you guys handle it?
[Rant/Rave] my girlfriend and i both have eating disorders
/u/orangeinfusedbanana [15f | 5’8 | UGW: 100]
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:43:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkk6w/my_girlfriend_and_i_both_have_eating_disorders/
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she’s anorexic and i’m bulimic, how can i keep her safe i really don’t want anything to happen to her. :( she’s my fucking world
[Rant/Rave] Holy fuck guys. I did it. I’m underweight. I don’t even know how to feel right now
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wki3l/holy_fuck_guys_i_did_it_im_underweight_i_dont/
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https://i.redd.it/2y2528a750y11.jpg
[Discussion] I'm unhappy either way
/u/lonely_tardigrade
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:31:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkgnw/im_unhappy_either_way/
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I can't ever be fully happy with myself…when i restrict yea it feels good to look and feel thinner but i'm also consumed with the nonstop thoughts about food, how good xyz will taste, and realizing just how miserable i am feeling cold and weak. But then i'll enter into more binge-like cycles where i'll just eat whatever and i finally feel like i have energy and can think, function, and be a more productive student (and it just feels soooo good to eat what i want to eat) uNTIL i start noticing the bloat or that my thigh gap is starting to close again. Either way there's always this gnawing sense of dissatisfaction with life in general. Its exhausting cuz it feels like i'll never escape it. I always swing either direction cuz there just doesn't seem to be anything extremely rewarding at maintenance. What even is balance? Anyone relate? :(
if i drop 15 lbs by new years ill be 99 lbs
/u/thrillofyourcharms
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:31:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkgjn/if_i_drop_15_lbs_by_new_years_ill_be_99_lbs/
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lets do this 💪💪💪
anyone else have new years goals?
[Rant/Rave] Currently bingeing for the first time in over a year...
/u/peyton2724 [5'9'' | CW: 145 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:29:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkfwe/currently_bingeing_for_the_first_time_in_over_a/
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...and boy do I feel worthless and disgusting.
As I write this, I am ravenously stuffing my face with my second bag of rice cakes, for mental image. I’ll keep you updated as I move from food to food during this rant.
I suffered from bulimia many a year ago, and at some magical point just ‘grew out of’ bingeing for lack of better phrase.
Did I eat too much today?
/u/hereinthemoment
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:29:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkfva/did_i_eat_too_much_today/
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Breakfast
Green tea with Splenda
Lunch
I skipped school lunch and came home to eat a half cup of rice.
Dinner
I had another small portion of rice, another green tea with Splenda, and a little bit of chocolate cake.
I feel bad. I feel like this is too much, is it?
Back to restriction
/u/Avacasia
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:14:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkbnu/back_to_restriction/
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I've been in a binging cycle for far too long now... I gained back all the weight I lost and then some. The pictures I saw from my hike this weekend were a serious wake up call. Had around 400 cals today when my husband came to have lunch with me and I didn't even want to have that but he'd ask questions if I wasn't eating. Went on a run/jog that I haven't done in forever, burned off about 169cal from lunch and prob do some more workouts inside later. Just want to die for letting myself get this fat... complete and utter self hatred...
[Other] Do any other girls find male thinspo to be extremely triggering?
/u/chrysanthemym [🌻 she/her | cw: 145 | gw: 108 🌻]
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:13:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wkb66/do_any_other_girls_find_male_thinspo_to_be/
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https://i.redd.it/iyzi8w9v00y11.jpg
Foods that help prevent you from Binging?
/u/JeffBezosBunghole
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:06:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wk8x6/foods_that_help_prevent_you_from_binging/
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When I buy snacks,or anything in large quantities, I tend to consume it all at once. Have you found any foods that you are able to withhold from doing this with? I have been doing so well not purging and I fear relapse.
Thanks!
DAE dread working out cause they dont want to sweat?
/u/catterific
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wk8x1/dae_dread_working_out_cause_they_dont_want_to/
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Whenever I do my cardio/workout I always end up sweating and eventually stinking cause of it. So i always have to take a shower , but sometimes i workout in the morning before school and sometimes really late at night so i cant shower right away but I start getting reaaaally stressed that im gonna smell bad. Is this just me or can other people relate?? What do you guys do to avoid this?
When you try so hard for so long only to start binging
/u/Precaso
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:01:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wk7gn/when_you_try_so_hard_for_so_long_only_to_start/
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https://imgur.com/u3ZBur6
How much weight can you lose if you fast for 4 days?
/u/killercatz7420
Created: Mon Nov 12 18:00:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wk732/how_much_weight_can_you_lose_if_you_fast_for_4/
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[Help] Cough drops calories?? Best low cal options?
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 17F | 149 | 20.84 | -31]
Created: Mon Nov 12 17:57:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wk67c/cough_drops_calories_best_low_cal_options/
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I have a sinus infection and my throat is KILLING ME. I’ve been eating lifesaver mints but they are 15cal each.
[Rant/Rave] Ate trash all day and genuinely thought I binged
/u/malxee
Created: Mon Nov 12 17:44:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wk2cy/ate_trash_all_day_and_genuinely_thought_i_binged/
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TW
Cried a lot over it, and was too scared to count my calories. Counted the calories and I’m at 1200. Of course that might be a binge to many of you, but wtf ED?
people with abusive families, do you feel when you starve you finally feel like you are doing something right or something that will make someone appreciate you?
/u/africanhamster
Created: Mon Nov 12 17:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wju26/people_with_abusive_families_do_you_feel_when_you/
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This, above, is the exact reason why I starve. It gives me a natural high like no other. Nothing feels better than running off my own emptiness, the satisfaction of knowing what I am doing brings me positive repertoire from my parents and extended family. I love the fact that thinness is idealized in my culture, at least staying skinny is the only thing I can actually do right lmao
DAE feel like eating breakfast and lunch is not normal anymore?
/u/ketchupbomb
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:59:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjoxu/dae_feel_like_eating_breakfast_and_lunch_is_not/
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I just thought about this today, while I was sitting in the library. Three girls from the table across from me got up at one point and came back a few minutes later with lunch. One girl had a big plate full of food, other one a big sandwich, and the third one a grain salad. I remember thinking how weird it was to see them just casually get up to buy such big amounts of food to eat for lunch. I thought how it would be equal to or more than my only meal of the day, my dinner. How I never could eat this this much so early in the day because I'd get hungry and binge in the evening. I don't ever eat breakfast (unless I'm hungover), last time I ate lunch was weeks ago and I regretted it immediately.
The whole situation made me think of this sub. Anyone else had weird eating patterns for such a long time that normal eating seems weird?
DAE dread shopping?
/u/stardustandpoetry [5'7 | CW:152lbs|GW:118 lbs|F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjnxs/dae_dread_shopping/
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I hate shopping shopping so much. Like I despise it. Everything triggers me: the sizing, the outfits, the change rooms. I see people who are shopping that are skinnier than me which makes me feel so horrible, I can't stop thinking about how they will look good in *that* outfit but it will look terrible on me. And don't even get me started on the change rooms, sometimes I buy things without even trying them on because I don't want to see myself in the mirror, and I'm terrified that the clothes won't fit me. I've always hated shopping because of this...probably why I never buy any new clothes.
test
/u/HotMessCentral [5'2.5" | 97 | 17.5 | -4.5 | F(Recovery)]
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:55:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjnuj/test/
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I took a stupid fucking bio test and thought I did well but ended up failing. I want to sink into a hole and die/cry. I now have a B+. I'm so fucking stupid and hate myself rn.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:53:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjn9m/tomorrow_tomorrow_is_the_day/
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I need to write this somewhere or I wont do it.
I've been stuck in a binge cycle for a couple of weeks and I have no idea how much I've gained... I'm too unstable and depressed to weigh myself, I honestly think if I see how much I weigh it will be the push I need to actually kill myself.
So tomorrow is the day. I will not eat tomorrow. I will start restricting again. I've done it a hundred times before and I can do it again.
Wish me luck... I know if I think people are seeing this then I'm 20x more likely to follow through. Thanks for listening yall.
[Rant/Rave] weird day
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:52:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjmvv/weird_day/
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i guess I'll flair this as rant but im just putting this out cause i feel anxious.
so on my first real day of trying to recover i decided to use this app that gives you ideas/recepies for foods if you put a calorie limit, anyway i decided to start with 500 and add up every week.
so today i had some scrambled eggs+tomatoes on toast for breakfast and a lettuce+carrot salad.
that was supposed to be around 400 but then i kinda said "fuck this ed" and decided to have half a banana and 2/3 of an apple so maybe i ate around 500-600 today.
now i think i fucked up idk i feel like its too much, im scared i might want to eat something else and end up binging but its about to be 7pm and i stick really hard to my rule of no food after 7pm so ill probably have loads of tea til i go to sleep.
[Goal] Alright here we go!
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:49:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjlw6/alright_here_we_go/
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I’m ready for this! I decided this and I WILL follow through, I have no other options:
I am not going to eat anything until I am officially underweight.
I’m so close. It will feel better than any food on Earth, I know it will. It’ll be magnificent. I feel so motivated.
[Help] Dizzy AFTER eating
/u/Lirschen
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:47:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjlg2/dizzy_after_eating/
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Does anyone feel weird and dizzy after eating when they haven't eaten in a long while? Like say they skip a day and then have a bit to take away the dizzy and then feel ill and tired and like they are going to pass out but ten times worse they if I just didn't eat.
I've been getting this lately. Does anyone know what this is all about?
today on "what sub is this again?"
/u/allthatyouforgot
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:41:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjjgj/today_on_what_sub_is_this_again/
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https://i.redd.it/rd8y17wmkzx11.png
Day 1- Progress
/u/cinnabunny0802
Created: Mon Nov 12 16:14:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wjbda/day_1_progress/
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I'm proud to say that I ate less than 1,000 calories today! Mostly tea, but I also chewed and spat a scone and cookie. As for actual food, I had a sandwich at Subway, but without cheese, sauce or much else inside. I feel amazing! By the end of the week, at this rate, maybe I'll have lost those 10 pounds.
Gigi is a bad person, volume 1
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wj6p3/gigi_is_a_bad_person_volume_1/
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So this girl at my office used to bully me and a couple other girls. She got gastric bypass and thought she was the shit. I cannot even begin to tell you what this girl’s rude comments did to my self esteem, or how she would at least try to hurt me. For example, she said she was worried her online date would show up with bad skin because she knew my new boyfriend had really bad skin problems. That didn’t actually hurt but her intention to hurt my feelings was clear. She mainly shit talked fat people (a mutual friend) which was hilarious because she had to get surgery.
Ok so I hadn’t seen her in years (I now work from home) and stalked her on Facebook. She recently got married and ON HER WEDDING DAY had already gained back a huge chunk of the weight. I know this is terrible but it made me so freaking happy. 😈😈😈
[Rant/Rave] A new low?
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:58:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wj68q/a_new_low/
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Hi, yeah I’m eating baby food now. The microwave dinner ones. They’re only 120-130 calories. I’m so ashamed I can’t even buy them at my usual Walmart. But hey, I’m finally in the 140’s.
[Rant/Rave] Stuck in a binge cycle
/u/phatfueled
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:53:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wj4vl/stuck_in_a_binge_cycle/
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I was doing so well down 2 lbs after starting intermittent fasting at the beginning of the week, and then just fell off the deep end with celebrations over the weekend. Now my stomach is messed up and I feel like garbage.
Ugh...tomorrow is a new day. But I just had to get it off my chest because I’m so mad at myself. I just want to prove that I can stick to something and control my binging habits.
Carbivore
/u/TalisonMArs
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wj2jx/carbivore/
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Does anyone know how to stop intense cravings? I did well today. A big handful of nuts, a coffee and some chewing gum. Minus the gum and nuts and that would be 👌🏻👌🏻. But I fucked up and binged this evening. Because of my carb deficit I was craving big time. I went psycho on a pasta pot and 2 spoonfuls of granola. Granted it’s not too crazy. But it’s enough to make me want to ram my hand onto the edge of a chainsaw. Teach myself a lesson. Any help to distract myself or stop cravings? My failed fasts are killing me faster than the sluggish weight loss. Fanks :)
3 lb in one week
/u/Monkey_Lyfe
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:38:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wj01h/3_lb_in_one_week/
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I'm pretty proud of myself for losing 3 lb last week. (I put on 1 lb over the previous two weeks.) I didn't even do anything that unhealthy. I ate above 1000 calories every day. I never purge. Didn't do stupid amounts of exercise. Just ate healthy and managed to lose weight. :)
I wish I could c/s without my jaw swelling into the size of a beehive
/u/cant-get-enough
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wiw4n/i_wish_i_could_cs_without_my_jaw_swelling_into/
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I drink a lot and that accounts for the majority of my calories. I have been binging consistently since July. Initially I was trying to gain weight with intermittent b/p episodes, now I'm a healthy weight, not fat not thin, I'm actually fiine with it but it is so much easier to ruminate on food and nothingness than it is to simply be. Currently I'm trying not to gain further but not to have a massive loss, my health is terrible. Loss puts me in the hospital too quickly. This has resulted in drinking more and b/ping what I do eat or stuffing b/p remains (if they exist) into my mouth in drunken, dehydrated post purge "glory". Maintaining weight as is, the past few days have been so depressing I could die, but instead in dealing with it with negative coping mechanisms. Today I want to eat but don't want to feed my body, I consider c/sing I haven't done that since I was 16, my jaw would swell so much I have tmj. What I want to put up with a swollen jaw, not eating, or not eating then caving and b/ping and then having a swollen jaw? Hmm choices.
There honestly is something about c/s which is so incomplete for me to even attempt. I think it may be purging because binging always seems just as incomplete, even the step of swallowing seems a bit better (Haha insert sexual joke). Life really drains on you sometimes.
I wish my body would look the same from day to day.
/u/icetesseracts
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:24:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wivg0/i_wish_my_body_would_look_the_same_from_day_to_day/
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Some days, I'll get up and look in the mirror, and I look like I've lost weight. I can see a flatter stomach, slimmer thighs, etc. I feel good on those days. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I've obviously made progress.
Other days, I'll get up, and I look like I've gained twenty pounds overnight. All I can see is fat and flab and cellulite. It seems like any progress I've made has disappeared.
I know, logically, that my appearance isn't changing that much from day to day. Maybe I'm a little bloated, or maybe I just had a whoosh, but that doesn't make *that* much of a difference. It's like a wake up in a different body every single day, and I never know what it's going to be.
Clearance safe food haul! I shouldn’t be let in a grocery store alone. 🙄
/u/Yungpupusa
Created: Mon Nov 12 15:07:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wipzp/clearance_safe_food_haul_i_shouldnt_be_let_in_a/
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https://i.redd.it/awf7lwxw3zx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] my friends wants to be anorexic and it annoys the crap out of me
/u/tired_platypus [5'4 | 117.2 lbs |F17]
Created: Mon Nov 12 14:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wigd8/my_friends_wants_to_be_anorexic_and_it_annoys_the/
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so this girl knows i’ve had issues with eating and whatnot, and recently she’s become obsessed with becoming super skinny, now this girl is already super thin and absolutely gorgeous but i’ve recently noticed that she’s skipping meals, counting calories for literally everything, saying she’s not hungry when she hasn’t eaten, etc. but very recently, she’s started asking me for tips, like she’s asking how i manage fasting for over a day, what workouts burn the most calories, stuff like that. AND it gets worse. she’s now spreading her knowledge or whatever to her other friends. like today she saw one of my other friends eating a pack of chips and she was like “oh my god r u rly gonna eat that? didn’t u just eat lunch? u know if u don’t eat when ur not hungry, you’ll lose weight a lot faster.” i don’t know what to do or what to say to her to stop and honestly every time she talks abt how she’s lost so much weight or how she hates herself bc she just “binged” on fruit, i just wanna strangle her. i know that its wrong and i should prolly be more helpful in case she rly does have an eating disorder. but idk maybe i’m just jealous of her, honestly i don’t know and i hate that she’s putting other ppl down for their eating habits.
[Rant/Rave] Relapse after stint with Intuitive Eating. I feel so alive. (tw warning)
/u/chrysanthemym [🌻 she/her | cw: 145 | gw: 108 🌻]
Created: Mon Nov 12 14:33:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wielp/relapse_after_stint_with_intuitive_eating_i_feel/
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I’ve relapsed. After trying to recover and gaining 30 lbs. after trying to accept my body, get involved with the “body acceptance” movement and HAES, and intuitive eating, I’ve relapsed after seeing a photo of someone that triggered me so much.
It’s been my first day back restricting. Had oatmeal for breakfast, and snacked on an honey almond bar after taking half a pill of bronkaid and coffee and I feel so alive right now.
I’ve missed this. Even though I didn’t want this, god I missed this. I missed this.
[Discussion] Intense cravings for meat?
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Mon Nov 12 14:33:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wiecl/intense_cravings_for_meat/
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I’ve been thinking about binging on meat a lot. Like, fried chicken, KBBQ, ribs, etc. I’m not even vegetarian or anything and eat meat pretty regularly, but I’ve been getting these cravings. Any low cal suggestions?
[Help] Can fasting as a form of purging still be dangerous?
/u/emotional_low
Created: Mon Nov 12 14:30:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9widgc/can_fasting_as_a_form_of_purging_still_be/
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I know this seems like a really stupid question, but for context;
I've been trying to cut down on vomiting as a form of purging (and have been kinda successful at it!), but because of this I've been doing more fasting after binges eeeeek.
I'm having bloods done tomorrow in addition to an EKG and having my blood pressure checked. I was wondering if fasting will be negatively impacting on them / if it'll flag up? I'm fully aware that I've just swapped out one way of purging for another, but fasting seems so \~healthy\~ to me.
​
Or maybe I've just been spending too much time scrollin through r/fasting lmao.
​
[Help] "Refeeding" myths
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 173 fuck me | 24.2 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 14:00:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wi39v/refeeding_myths/
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My therapist keeps trying to tell me that once I get to my goal weight and start eating again, my body will go into "starvation mode" and defy me by holding onto every calorie making me gain weight. I don't see how it's scientifically possible if I stay at maintenance. Anyone want to reassure me?
[Discussion] best tea(s) for restricting?
/u/everybhodyhurt
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:51:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whzu3/best_teas_for_restricting/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Is anyone else just like completely consumed with thoughts about weight
/u/hollyy___ [5’8” | 124lbs | 18.85 | -31lbs | 17F | 🍑liltiddy]
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:45:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9why02/is_anyone_else_just_like_completely_consumed_with/
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Not even necessarily negative thoughts, but I’m just always thinking about how I can’t wait to wear a certain clothes size or wondering how much weight I’ll lose this week etc. It totally gets in the way like I’ll be trying to get uni work done then suddenly I’m daydreaming about my GW and wasting a bunch of time lol.
[Rant/Rave] it’s like all of the signs that shock me can’t get me to stop
/u/sadpeanutfriend
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:29:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whshj/its_like_all_of_the_signs_that_shock_me_cant_get/
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Not looking for advice because I’m trying and have tried everything under the sun and tired of doing new things and failing for this time being.
But I’m a BED pal on this sub and thus my weight fluctuates heavily going up and down because of binges and high restricting to offset the binges in short amounts of time. But why can’t I get into normal dieting and stay with it.... I know why it’s my food addiction and poor relationship..... but I wish I could just turn off the “time to eat” switch in my brain.
Hitting highest weight EVER didn’t stop me. All these new stretch marks haven’t stopped me. Trouble breathing at night and heart burn aren’t stopping me. All of this shit isn’t stopping my cyclical binging so far.
I’m sitting in bed right now and my last food was at 5:30pm yesterday. I don’t want to eat at all right now. And eating is scary because if I do eat I’ll end up binging. I have NO FOOD in this house because safe foods become unsafe. I am not even hungry right now so I guess it’s fine. It’s 12:30pm almost. I know if I fasted I’d be perfectly fine. 24 hours is safe. 48 hours is safe. After that it’s still safe as long as I follow extended fasting rules. I’m overweight. I hate it. I hate eating. I hate eating so much. It’s compulsive and stressful. It’s like shoveling food *literally*. It’s like shame and body pain.
I really want today to be the day I have a long period of not binging. I still have yet to go a week I think and it’s been like this most of the year.
[Rant/Rave] Got rejected from an IOP. Now what?
/u/tornessa [5'2"| 107 | 19.6 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whplu/got_rejected_from_an_iop_now_what/
---
I was on the fence about doing an IOP, because I don't feel like I'm sick enough. I went to an intake appointment anyway, and finally heard back today. I was rejected. They think I need **more** help than they can give me, like a PHP.
I'm so upset. I told the lady that there's no way I'm doing a PHP, I just got a new job. And I don't binge. And I've maintained my weight for 6 months.
When I pressed her about why, she said they think I need more meal support than they can give me. But I eat every day! It just makes no sense.
They are the only IOP in the city I live in and now I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess just keep on trying to get better with my therapist and nutritionist.
[Rant/Rave] the very hungry caterpillar (ed edition)
/u/basicvodkaboy [dull eyes stare into valium colored skies / cw 119]
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:17:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whojg/the_very_hungry_caterpillar_ed_edition/
---
In the light
of the moon
a little egg
lay on a leaf.
One Sunday morning the warm sun came up and -pop! — out of the egg
came a tiny and very hungry caterpillar.
On Monday
he ate through
one apple,
but he was still
hungry.
On Tuesday
he ate through
a salad,
but he was
still hungry.
On Wednesday
he ate through
a protein bar and a pack of marlboro menthol,
but he was still
hungry.
On Thursday
he ate through
a pack of 90 cals microwave vegetables,
but he was still
hungry.
On Friday
he ate through
two sugarfree redbulls and a bottle of coke light,
but he was still
hungry.
On Saturday
he ate through
two protein bars and two sugarfree redbulls,
but he was still
hungry.
On Sunday,
he ate through
two pink lady apples,
but he was still hungry.
On Monday,
he ate through
2 pounds of lasagna, 1 pack of shredded cheese, an entire pack of double stuffed oreos, one pint of häagen dazs mint chocolate chip, a burger, a pizza and half a bottle of absolut vodka raspberri
*and he purged it all because the very hungry caterpillar is a disgusting piece of shit and no, fitting in the smallest size pair of jeans at h&m still doesn’t mean you’re skinny, and no, finding out that a size small pullover looks like an oversized burlap sack on you doesn’t either.*
and he was still hungry (fuck my life lol)
Anyone just get sick all the damn time?
/u/myheadachehead
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:14:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whnpc/anyone_just_get_sick_all_the_damn_time/
---
If there’s a cold going around I will catch it 110%. I have had 4 throat infections since april. I think this year I have been sick more times than I have been “healthy” (lol) is anyone else like this? I take emergen-c, it only does so much. Apple cider vinegar too. Yet here i am, with bronchitis for the second time this year. I just love it!
[Rant/Rave] Mom won't let me live on my own if I don't gain weight, I realized I'm screwing myself over yet again
/u/aliennation1137 [5'6" | CW: 105 | BMI: 17.0 | GW: 100 | 22M]
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:13:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whnd1/mom_wont_let_me_live_on_my_own_if_i_dont_gain/
---
So, first off, let me establish that I'm not a totally ungrateful piece of shit and I'm glad that my mom, for all of our issues, loves (at least the closeted version of) me dearly and doesn't want me to die.
This weekend she visited me, and since the last time I went home and saw her I've noticeably lost weight. We talked about my ED and I ate normally (I think) when I was around her to minimize her worry and avert any fighting, but she told me that I need to gain weight or at the very least maintain, or I'm going to be moving back home after I graduate next month. The reasoning for this comes from a combination of my mom's worry (legitimate) and control issues (annoying af - she trusts herself more than an actual clinician to manage my recovery) and the fact that I have a therapist in my parents' city whom my parents really like (and whom I trust a lot more than other therapists I've seen, but there are a couple specific reasons I really don't get what I need from therapy with her and I don't know how to explain that to my parents). My mom helped me make a meal plan for the next week and a half (I'm coming home for Thanksgiving), we went grocery shopping together, and I promised to try my best, but because I'm an utter piece of human garbage I threw away half of the groceries as soon as she left.
Because I have no motivation to recover yet, I know I'm going to have lost more weight (unless I fuck up and binge a lot) by the time I see my family at Thanksgiving, and I feel terrible because I don't want to cause stress or fighting for my parents and brother (whom I haven't seen in months). My body is finally starting to feel almost safe and tolerable again without the fat and curves, and I want to keep going but I KNOW I'm going to wind up in IP/residential because people who aren't me have functional brains and would most likely put me there. The last thing I want is to move back home and fuck up the progress I've been making towards independence and getting a job (I have one starting in the city where I live now, and would be unable to do it if I went into full time treatment or moved home), but I feel like that's where I'm headed.
Purging my contracting my stomach muscles alone
/u/Lirschen
Created: Mon Nov 12 13:07:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whl0d/purging_my_contracting_my_stomach_muscles_alone/
---
I have no idea how I learned this but fizzy diet soda and contracting my stomach muscles I purge by squeezing my stomache and jerking over. Less violent noises and I toned my tummy too. I can also control how much I bring up. I've done this since I was 14... Does anyone else do this or am I just really wierd?
Ab workouts?
/u/dearpuppy [F🐄 165cm | GW 42kg | CW 52.0kg]
Created: Mon Nov 12 12:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9whcck/ab_workouts/
---
Okay so I want to start working out my abs because they're... nonexistent and I look weird with boney ribs and skinny-fat stomach. What exercises do y'all do to strengthen your core? Also looking for feedback on how much of a difference it made to your midsection.
What drinks do you order at the bar?
/u/bunners89 [5'6" | CW:119lbs | GW:104lbs | BMI:19.4 | Weight Lost:0 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 12:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wh6gv/what_drinks_do_you_order_at_the_bar/
---
I love cocktails, sweeter the better. I know they are empty calories but so delicious!! What are some low calorie cocktail I can order?
I hate calorie calculators..
/u/OrneryTransportation
Created: Mon Nov 12 12:18:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wh3ay/i_hate_calorie_calculators/
---
I just went on a 12 mile walk. Came home, searched up a bunch of calorie calculators for walking, input my time and distance. All of them say I burned around 700 calories.
But then, when I input that I walked 0 miles, it still says I burned 400 calories in that time. Does that mean these calculators include my BMR? -___-
Did I only burn 700-400=300 calories then?? I'm losing my mind. I walked for 3 hours and my feet hurt so much, I'm wondering if it was even worth it now.
[Help] Inpatient while vegan?
/u/extraclevermongoose [5'7" 🐇 Underweight bmi 🐇 They/them]
Created: Mon Nov 12 11:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wguow/inpatient_while_vegan/
---
Hello. I don’t plan on admitting myself any time soon, but I think having information on this would help settle my mind. I understand how a vegan diet could be linked to someone’s restriction/food rules so a treatment center might not allow it but for me I become vegan quite some time after developing an ED. Yeah, there is an aspect of food avoidance, but it’s largely due to ethical reasons. I love animals, the thought of eating something they died and or suffered for is extremely upsetting, it’s not calories. Was anyone in treatment allowed to stay vegan? What was it like? the idea of being forced to eat meat/dairy/eggs when there is just as many nutritionally dense vegan options to substitute is one big thing putting me off from possibly seeking medical help in the future...
[Help] DAE hoard binge foods?
/u/Dreaming_Lightly
Created: Mon Nov 12 11:50:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wgscm/dae_hoard_binge_foods/
---
I’m home alone right now and I’m getting this terrible urge to binge. Instead of binging though, because I’m trying to hit my daily 16 hour fast, I’m just finding all sorts of things to put in a bag for, I guess, later.
I currently have:
-half of a PB & Me chocolate hazelnut (23 calories) sourdough (65 calories) sandwich
-another slice of sourdough from Superstore (65 calories)
-four fun sized kitkats (60 calories each>240 calories)
-one pudding kitkat (63 calories)
-two triple chocolate cookies (90 calories each>180 calories)
I think I’ll probably find more things to hoard, but I don’t know yet.
Is this normal behaviours or is it just me..?
[Discussion] What’s everyone’s Christmas goals??
/u/bulafilly_squad
Created: Mon Nov 12 11:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wgq8s/whats_everyones_christmas_goals/
---
I’d love to lose weight for Christmas and New Year (not that I have any plans because I have no friends lol). I’m currently 176lb and I’d love to be 160lb by Christmas!! My birthday is February and I’d love to be at my GW by then (129lb) but I doubt it. I also want to be able to eat some Christmas food on Christmas Day without feeling guilt. What’s everyone else’s Christmas goals, weight or otherwise??
Actually lost weight b/ping
/u/sugafreedreams [18M / 181cm 🏳️🌈 Highest BMI: 30.3 / Current BMI: 16.9]
Created: Mon Nov 12 11:30:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wglak/actually_lost_weight_bping/
---
Kind of a pointless post, but I've only ever maintained my weight while being in a b/p cycle before. Not losing wasn't caused by me being an inefficient purger (I'm able to just bend over and blast everything out hands-free), I just never used to purge normal meals when in a b/p cycle, only binges.
But this time I've basically been binging with huge portions at every meal and purging everything I can get out quickly and easily, leaving my body maybe 1000 calories or less a day to actually digest. As a result I've now lost a kg in two weeks, comparable to what I'd lose with <1000 cal/day restriction. It's not just water weight either, because daily weight fluctuations are down at least a kg from two weeks ago.
Everything about losing weight without restricting while eating +4000 calories a day seems so forbidden and wrong... Hopefully this isn't a permanent turn for the worse, wish me luck guys :/
I got sick
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Mon Nov 12 10:59:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wgab4/i_got_sick/
---
I got sick physically. Mentally I’ve been sick for years. The doctor thought my appendix was fit to burst, then a kidney infection, now just gastric flu. And despite the awfulness of gastric flu, (d&v), I was still able to stuff my face and gain 8 lbs in a week. I’m so bloated as well. I hate my life.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so fucking tired
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Mon Nov 12 10:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wg6mt/im_so_fucking_tired/
---
I just want to sleep. Forever. But I cant. I'm tired of school, all I look forward to is my friends. I'm tired of caring about how I look, tired of not being able to enjoy my life because I'm consumed by this disorder. I want to fucking SLEEP
[Goal] Bitches I’m back and ‘bout to beat a binge cycle
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Mon Nov 12 10:40:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wg40s/bitches_im_back_and_bout_to_beat_a_binge_cycle/
---
*she says and hopes her willpower becomes steely strong*
I’ve been binging for so fucking long and I’m so disgusting I’m wanna die rip. I can see the weight that’s went on, feel how it affects my clothes and I want it GONE. Determined to get back into restriction and be at least 110lbs for Christmas - posting this here so I’m held accountable 😅
A Frightening Epiphany (potentially triggering)
/u/PandaApex22
Created: Mon Nov 12 10:38:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wg39y/a_frightening_epiphany_potentially_triggering/
---
I was watching an episode of the Good Doctor a couple weeks ago, and if you haven’t seen it there was an episode that focused on a patient that had an eating disorder and she’s had it so long and it’s so severe that she will literally die without a heart surgery, but she’s so weak that it’s risky to operate. I had no idea how much this would fuck with my mind, but after watching the doctors tell her what she needs to do and despite the threat of death at her door she is still unable to change her behaviors to be healthier. And I realized after watching this episode that if a Doctor were to tell me the exact same thing that, “unless I change my eating behavior right now and eat healthier, I will die” I honestly wouldn’t be able to do it. And that is terrifying to think that I would choose my eating disorder over living and it’s truely shaken me to the core. This made me realize just how bad my eating disorder was and it makes me want to cry, but.... the plus side is that I made an appointment with a therapist that is an expert with eating disorders.
[Discussion] What’s your ideal shopping list?
/u/JeffBezosBunghole
Created: Mon Nov 12 10:20:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfxew/whats_your_ideal_shopping_list/
---
Ok so here’s the rundown, I get a TON of anxiety when grocery shopping. Tons of worrying about buying the wrong foods and being stuck with them, or not knowing what to get. I’m a college student in the UK and this is the first time I’ve ever had to shop on my own. Because of this, I often hold off on shopping/eating very much in general but I’d like to go for a proper grocery shop and stock up on foods I can eat with my ED and not be so nervous about eating. What are your go to staples? Multi-ingredient dishes? Things I can store in the fridge? I do not have access to a freezer.
Thank you all, you’re a great and very supportive community.
[Rant/Rave] The Whoosh Is Real Y'all!
/u/thetexangypsy [5'3 | 126lbs | 23.9 | 25lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Nov 12 10:15:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfvt3/the_whoosh_is_real_yall/
---
So I ate really shitty over the weekend (thanks Smirnoff and Shipleys...) so I was preparing myself for the worst when I did my weekly weigh in this morning. I can only weigh myself once a week because that's the only time I get the house to myself, and I weighed 133 last Monday.
But guys.... 126!!! I finally broke into the 120's!
I'm so happy! I've been staying <600 for the past week, after being at 750. I think I'm going to stay on this, because this is the best result I've gotten in a while 🤩
[Other] If anyone needs a little bit of inspo.. (CW she talks about fasting, weird eating habits, obsessing with weight etc. - in a very casual way)
/u/cozyday [F23| 20.1 | 5'6" | CW: 125 |]
Created: Mon Nov 12 10:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfrij/if_anyone_needs_a_little_bit_of_inspo_cw_she/
---
https://youtu.be/v4cltOzjv5o
[Discussion] How c/s has changed me
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:51:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfnnm/how_cs_has_changed_me/
---
Last night we had a party at our house and all of the guests decided to bring dessert. So we had a buttload of desserts. The guests ended up taking some dessert home, but not too much.
Before my c/s days, I would’ve been really anxious about the amount of extra desserts lying around, but now that I c/s, I’m just like “yaaay! Tons of free food to c/s!”
Which, I mean, I’m not complaining about. It makes me more at ease.
Anyone else like this?😅😅
[Discussion] Work meeting , restriction & city barbeque
/u/feelsomethinggg [5'7 | 173 |24.1|-9| 24F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:51:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfnmu/work_meeting_restriction_city_barbeque/
---
So fuck me, been restricting like a boss and today I have a work meeting and the lunch is city barbeque which is a fucking fav.
I'm also bloated and about to start my period so this sucks.
I want to eat but I know I shouldn't
Ugh 😣
[Discussion] Anyone else obsess with their teeth? I hate the way certain foods feel when they touch my teeth. I brush for a good 5-10 minutes, floss, whiten. If I have to purge you bet your ass I rinse with baking soda and then water 1000 times
/u/definitely-not-julie
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:47:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfm6p/anyone_else_obsess_with_their_teeth_i_hate_the/
---
Things I think feel gross to my teeth:
• soda
• sugary foods
• hard foods like biting into an whole apple
• cold things
This feeling doesn’t extend to sugar free beverages, gum, really any of my “safe” foods. I wonder if it’s a mental thing.
If I haven’t purged, I’ll whiten my teeth by Rinsing with a cap full of hydrogen peroxide for 3 minutes because that’s the active ingredient in whitening strips!
I brush 3 times a day, and floss once at night.
I honestly never noticed how weird I am with my extensive oral hygiene routine until I moved in with my boyfriend. He would finish brushing after what felt like no time at all, and I can’t do a quick brushing until I feel like I really did something.
Am I alone in this? Might not even be Ed related.
[Rant/Rave] Torn over smoking weed
/u/SomeOtherThirdThing [5'1 | CW 130lb | HW 145lb | GW 100lb]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:45:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wflkm/torn_over_smoking_weed/
---
Hey guys, so I’ve been pretty much a daily weed smoker for about 7 years now. Marijuana helps slow down my obsessive and anxious thoughts about every aspect of my life and lets me be a lot more creative. It also helps me sleep A LOT better. I love weed. However, my main problem I’ve had with it for years now is the insatiable munchies I get. I lose all control when I’m high. Nothing else matters except stuffing my face when I’m high. I go into binge cycles for days at a time when I smoke a lot and this leads to a lot of weight gain. When I don’t have any at the moment to smoke, I barely eat. I don’t have much of an appetite and it’s pretty easy to lose a few pounds a week. So I guess I’m just ranting here about how I could easily reach my goal weight if I stopped smoking BUT, the advantages of weed bring me back to it every time. I wish I could be one of those skinny stoner girls that get high and just chill or read or listen to music. But all I do is eat and think about food. If anyone has a similar experience, do you have any advice on how to avoid the obsessive food thoughts while high? It just really sucks.
[Intro] Venom chomps its way past Justice League at the global box office
/u/Rhinoplug
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfkno/venom_chomps_its_way_past_justice_league_at_the/
---
https://www.ajaisblog.com/venom-chomps-its-way-past-justice-league-at-global-box-office/
Trans-guy ED Group?
/u/PrettyMuchARacoon
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:40:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfjxr/transguy_ed_group/
---
I've seen a few other trans-guys on this subreddit. Would any of you be interested in setting up a group chat on Peach, Discord, WhatsApp or whatever the fuck kind of social app is in these days?
We could bitch and moan about stuff or provide support idk, I just want friends who get what I'm going through, y'know?
So yeah, would anyone be interested in that?
Motivation Monday
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:32:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfhdf/motivation_monday/
---
It’s Monday.... let’s get this bread!! (Or Coke Zero or rice cakes or whatever ya want)
What’s something positive you’re looking forward to this week?
Mine is seeing family :)
[Discussion] Exercise
/u/3cats_in_atrenchcoat
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:31:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfh6z/exercise/
---
Has anyone else found exercise to be a double edged sword? What kind of exercises do you do regularly?
I've been trying to use exercise as what I thought could be a cheat code to getting a little more normal about my eating habits but I don't think it's helping me much. I can't afford a gym membership and I live in Canada so cardio outside is a no go. I've been sticking to mostly body weight stuff.
People always talk about how "addictive" things like weight lifting are, and how they look forward to their workouts...... when exactly is that supposed to kick in?
I'm trying so hard to be healthy but I don't think it's helping anything. I've been gaining weight (before you ask not muscle) lately so any progress I'd make in the toning department is pointless.
The whole process just feels like I'm failing and wasting my time and missing something that normal people enjoy.
Man I'm grumpy this morning.
You're a big guy...
/u/GQJohnDoe [6'2" | 233.2(!!) | 29.xx | 0.4 (>100 before) | M(ish)]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:28:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfg5d/youre_a_big_guy/
---
... Thanks. I know. (I have a plane. It has a reputation of being small, but they're really not, they're just setup differently. Like a Corvette. I was an an airport event last night and a woman was like, "I'm surprised you fit in one of those!" At first I was like, "the designer was 6'5" (I'm "only" 6'2"), but then she continued, and it was obvious she wasn't talking about my height.
FML. I'm not eating again until March.
[Other] Yay for disordered eating !1
/u/kimboislame [5'1 | CW: 115 | SW: 125 | GW: 105 | 19F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:18:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfd5v/yay_for_disordered_eating_1/
---
https://i.redd.it/yepy1ybzcxx11.jpg
Tired of this hell.
/u/SuicidalSuccubus [5'11.5" | CW 144 :( | LW 128 | GW 125]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:16:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfcc7/tired_of_this_hell/
---
I am so tired, both physically and mentally. I am tired of comparing my CW to my LW, rationally knowing I look much healthier and better now than I did at a ~17 BMI, but romanticizing being that small and still wanting to be that size, perhaps even smaller.
I'm tired of medicating myself with food or lack of it. I'm hate that I willingly fuck up my health because I'm either starving and near passing out or binging to the point that my stomach feels like it's going to explode.
I'm tired of the fact that despite desperately wanting to get back down to my LW, I get so discouraged by my recent weight gain that I say "fuck it" and binge and then force myself to exercise so much, only to burn barely half the calories I've just eaten. My self control has gone out the window and I disgust myself.
And I'm tired because I know that recovery will likely never last, and I will relapse time and again. I tried to recover, and it just turned into a binge cycle. My whole life, even as a child, I've had issues with food and eating... It sucks that this is what I'm going to suffer with for the rest of my life.
Doctors Weigh in
/u/yikeroniandcheese
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:15:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfc56/doctors_weigh_in/
---
Am I gonna wait to eat until after my 1pm appt so the nurse doesn’t think I’m fat? Absofuckinglutely
[Help] Starbucks holiday drink help!
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 131.2 lbs | -49 lbs | F22]
Created: Mon Nov 12 09:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wfavv/starbucks_holiday_drink_help/
---
Hey guys!! I really want to treat myself, and try to beat one of my ED fears, which is drinking significant liquid cals for my coffee in the morning. Like something more than 5 cals for just iced espresso etc etc... but I don’t want to push myself too much and get a full/high calorie option...
does anyone know any vegan drinks in the holiday line that are low calorie? I prefer almond milk!
If someone could give me a recommendation I would be forever grateful. I love the holiday drinks and haven’t had a full one in a long time.
This semester is kicking my ass, I am so thankful to have found this community.
/u/HotTeaComfySocks [5'1| CW: 126.6 | SW: 136.6 | GW: 110-105 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:50:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wf4d7/this_semester_is_kicking_my_ass_i_am_so_thankful/
---
I've been lurking for the past week or so, and I am thrilled to know there's a community of like-minded people out here supporting each other through this shit. Bulimia sucks, but it's helping to keep me going through my first semester of law school. Nothing makes sense at school, so control over my body gives me something to focus on outside of the dread I feel studying and sitting in class. Plus, the posts here keep me grounded. I only binged and purged one day last week, a major improvement over the previous weeks where food has been my only source of comfort. Everyone's posts on their successes have motivated me to work towards my ideal body. If this whole law school thing doesn't pan out, at least I'll be actively working towards my ideal physical self. Also, thank you for reminding me of my love of white Monster.
Sincerely, me.
[Rant/Rave] Never shop at work
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:47:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wf3bh/never_shop_at_work/
---
I work at a grocery store and my main manager is an angel and by far the best boss I’ve ever had. I’m sure he has noticed my rapid weight loss and occasionally asks if I ate anything yet when it’s well past lunch and offered to to buy me lunch in exchange for me buying a table cloth for yada yada. Anyway, I found zero calorie brown sugar and powdered sugar that I haven’t found anywhere else and we have really good zero calorie pop on sale. So I walked by him with my basket and he said “grocery shopping?” And kind of strained to look at my basket. The only actual food I had was a single portobello mushroom cap. I’m panicking and never shopping at work again.
How did I get here
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 173 fuck me | 24.2 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:44:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wf2ly/how_did_i_get_here/
---
I started dating someone new and over the course of a year went from about 145 to 183. How could I let that happen? It's a little easier when your boyfriend keeps telling you you're beautiful and has unhealthy eating habits himself (though he hasn't gained shit). Back to transforming myself over the winter I suppose. :(
What color does each 'body check' or thinspo remind you of?
/u/scaledrops [5'8" | CW: 186.8 | -10.2 | i do art | F16]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:41:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wf1hi/what_color_does_each_body_check_or_thinspo_remind/
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Bit of an odd question, but ribs for me would be red, or something similar to that.
Colors resonate with me, and I just want to know if anyone feels the same.
I have some colored pencils I want to put to use.
[Goal] motivation?
/u/asheristrasher
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:39:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wf14d/motivation/
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so i ordered a couple sweatpants online, and when they got in one of them were just... ridiculously small on me. i'm trans female to male, and since i have big hips (that i want to chop off constantly), whenever i buy men's pants it never fits right.
but today, i could barely fucking squeeze into these mofos. my legs fit fine, but when it reached my ass i thought i would rip it or some shit. ending up having a panic attack because of dysphoria and had a binge/purge fest to 'cope'.
but uh, now that i've wiped off the vomit and all, i have 200% more motivation to lose weight: i'm gonna fit into those fucking sweatpants and idc if i have to live off diet coke and cinnamon roll vape juice for weeks to get it.
[Other] My stomach did that extremely loud grumble this morning while making some tea.
/u/blackberryhoney
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wf0lk/my_stomach_did_that_extremely_loud_grumble_this/
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I ADORED IT. Am I crazy?
I’ll wash this victory down with a zero calorie beverage.
PSA: I just created an ED dream salted caramel milkshake that you NEED in your life rn
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 87 | 16.4 | GW: 80]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:34:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wezd4/psa_i_just_created_an_ed_dream_salted_caramel/
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this is legitimately life changing, ok.
life. changing.
- 17g salted caramel whey protein (75 cal / 15g protein)
- large tablespoon of breyers delight salted caramel cake (35 cal, 2g protein)
- myprotein sugar free butterscotch flavour syrup (0 cal)
- 150ml skimmed milk, or 150ml water, or a combination of both
(75 cal or 0 cal depending)
- tsp psyllium husk
whack all that into a blender and blend until smooth. obviously it doesn't have to be the exact brands i mentioned and you can get creative or work with what you've got, but you get the point.
- redi whip (5 cal)
- syrup again (0 cal)
top it with as much of this as you want and serve it in a tall milkshake glass. the better it looks the better it tastes, obv.
it's REALLY sweet so if you don't like that add a lil salt (i have a sweet tooth when it comes to cake and desserts though so this is perfect for me without it)
200 calories might sound like a lot (or 120 if you use water), but you'll thank me later. there's almost 20g of protein in there which is gonna keep you full forever (and it's ""healthy""!) plus if you have trouble with shitting the psyllium husk is undetectable and will work miracles. if i low restricted i'd probably live off this as OMAD because it's SO satisfying. i was kind of scared of protein powder at first, but i've dropped 4 pounds in the past 2 weeks whilst i've been drinking shakes daily so i'm marking them safe as heck. honestly this might be the best milkshake i've ever tasted (better than any fucking starbucks cream frap and basically a dupe for costa's toffee coolers) even before all this and GOD DAMN. i'm a changed woman forever.
if anyone makes this let me know what you think or if you've made any similar concoctions stick em below.
<3 happy autumn
[Rant/Rave] Holidays at Home
/u/ur-doing-gr8 [5'5| CW 148 | SW 155 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:33:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wez9j/holidays_at_home/
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So I'm a college student, and this means I'm going to go home for the holidays. Already dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas because I know I'm going to eat way too much. My parents eat super healthy but always say things like "If you're eating the right foods, it doesn't matter how much you eat!" which is just ... not true. It's going to take all of my willpower to fight against that mentality.
I've been losing weight for a while but nobody has even noticed. This used to discourage me, but I'm trying to use it as motivation now. Here's to making it through the next couple months!
Just made an intake appointment at a treatment center
/u/broketreebranch [AN/BP 🍑: dancinghare]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9weum5/just_made_an_intake_appointment_at_a_treatment/
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And it’s scheduled the day before Thanksgiving. How appropriate.
[Discussion] Shirataki noodles recipes/ideas
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 50.5kg |BMI 17.89 | GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:18:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9weujd/shirataki_noodles_recipesideas/
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I finally found a shop near me that sells these low cal noodles, and I can't wait to buy a packet.
Any advice on how to cook them? Should I fry them or boil them? Also, and recipe suggestions that uses them but is still low cal!
[Discussion] Issues with being taken seriously?
/u/Thin_Wishes3 [5’8” | HW:145 | LW:110| 26F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:14:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9weti4/issues_with_being_taken_seriously/
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So I’m just curious if anyone has ever felt like they haven’t been taken seriously when trying to get help for their Ed?
Whether it’s from your weight not being “low enough” or even discrimination based on age, income, insurance etc.
I’ve had quite a few bad experiences in therapy. One, that I was referred to by my old dietician like 2 years ago, told me she’s not worried about weight and wouldn’t weigh me unless I looked too thin (thx). I’ve had one tell me my body is amazing and she couldn’t believe I “looked that great” without exercising at all (vomit). I’ve had others basically glaze over the fact that I said I had an ED and I just felt like it was because I didn’t “look the part.” I had a school psychologist in HS tell me I shouldn’t worry because my calves were so skinny (???) and I looked good.
I had one who was good, she was the best ED therapist in my county but ended up being a flake in the end so that was that. I truly believe it was because I was using my insurance and not self paying.
I never really go to the doctors, but when I have and I’ve explained what’s going on, while I don’t think they’ve treated me as a serious case they never acted like I was lying to them.
As far as regular people in my life go who know, most of them have understood. Although I have gotten comments that I’m “taking the easy way out” and that “I have been chubby before” so I always have an issue believing people when they say I’m not fat.
Anyway with all of the stigma that we face on a daily basis, I was just wondering if anyone has had anything similar happen whether with a medical professional, a friend, or even a family member. My apologies if there’s been a thread alrdy dedicated to this and I would love to be redirected to it if so :)
But just hoping we can finally break the stigma that it isn’t just wealthy, thin, teenage girls that deal with this.
[Other] low calorie ice cream on sale (UK)
/u/aha98 [160cm CW: ~129lbs LW: ~115lbs GW: 105lbs F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wer6w/low_calorie_ice_cream_on_sale_uk/
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halo top is on sale in Tesco (£3.5), Iceland (£3.5), Morrison’s (£3) and sainsburys (£3.5) and breyers delights is on sale in Morrisons (£2.5), Waitrose (£2.5) and sainsburys (£3)!!!!
Oh and you guys should try Jude’s low calorie salted caramel ice cream(£4.5) I’m on love lol
Decided to get better and got worse instead
/u/TheSheepWifeLife
Created: Mon Nov 12 08:01:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wepmk/decided_to_get_better_and_got_worse_instead/
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A little while ago I decided that I was faking everything and I could just focus on eating right. I guess it was imposter syndrome in full swing. I decided I didn't really have a problem, that I was pretending to myself and I'd really find it easy to eat now I'd accepted it. Except the eating healthy amounts never started, in fact I became more restrictive than ever.
I felt I no longer had to worry about what my friends thought because I was fine. So I could stop even making token efforts to eat while out with them. Leading to more accusations of an eating disorders even than usual but it was okay because I was actually fine. They had the problem.
It's scary because I always thought deep down there was this way out and that once I really had had enough I could just choose for this to be all over like some hobby I grew tired of. Then coming to know that the exit door I always counted on never existed is quite a severe realisation. This is really my life and the choice I thought I had isn't there. The door I thought I would walk out of instead slammed into my face and broke my nose.
triggered by 'recovered' anorexics who still look super thin
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:105.8 | bmi: 18.7 | F | 24]
Created: Mon Nov 12 07:55:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wentg/triggered_by_recovered_anorexics_who_still_look/
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please tell me if any of you deal with this because it lowkey makes me feel like an asshole.
i was watching SS vs SS and got to season7 ep 1, i think this is the season where they bring on 'emma', a recovered anorexic and journalist, to investigate anorexia related stuff between the regular show. and she looks so fucking small. like, so thin her head looks too big for her body. and i have to watch her talk about how harmful restrictive eating is and how she's against proana websites? while she looks no more than 95 pounds? fuck off. just makes me feel like theres no way shes fully recovered and still underweight, or that she is recovered but is jut now naturally skinny and hate it anyways.
ive seen this a few times on insta too and it triggers me every time. tell me im not alone in hating this trope?
[Discussion] Stopping calorie tracking
/u/CalmConcern [175cm/5'9"|53.4kg/117.8lbs|17.4 |F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 07:50:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wemlb/stopping_calorie_tracking/
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Hello fellow comrades! After religiously tracking everything I put into my body for almost 100 days (according to MFP, and it was honestly awful, before a long haul flights I scoured the internet for an inflight menu so I could save the items before I boarded so I could track), I’ve decided to stop tracking completely.
Decided to stop when I started realising exceeding or not reaching my daily calorie goal would sometimes cause me to binge when I wasn’t hungry in the first place. It’s a little difficult at the moment since I roughly know the calorie amounts of most of my meals, but I suppose I’ve saved loads of time not weighing every goddamn thing. I only weigh my main protein sources so I know I’m getting enough for the day, because health is wealth amirite?
I was wondering if anyone has done the same and how did it affect your progress/mental health/lifestyle?
[Thinspo] favourite celebs for male thinspo?
/u/throoaweigh [5'7 | fat | 22lbs down | FtM]
Created: Mon Nov 12 07:46:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9welh7/favourite_celebs_for_male_thinspo/
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i've been rewatching tons of drag race recently, but i realised that i was only doing it to look at raja, alaska or violet. they're all tall as fuck so i know realistically i'll never look like them, but goddamn are they effective thinspo lmao. i've been thinking about it a lot, though, and i realised i don't have a lot of thinspo celebrities, probably because being rail-thin isn't exactly the media ideal for guys.
so it got me interested in looking for some, cause a bitch likes a challenge! who do y'all use?
Weekend woes
/u/Linzcro
Created: Mon Nov 12 07:32:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wehh7/weekend_woes/
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I got rid of our old analog scale today because I need an exact reading for my obsessive weighing. It said I was FIVE POUNDS fatter than I thought I was, which was finally not considered “overweight” with a normal BMI for once. NOPE.
And then my well meaning husband put my tummy holding-in jeans in the dryer making them too small.
I could die. I’m a fat monster who all the village children will run from. 😩
How was y’alls weekend?
How do you deal with Amenorrhea?
/u/cold_melon [5'7'' | cw110.8 | bmi 17.4 | 23F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 07:28:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wegcs/how_do_you_deal_with_amenorrhea/
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Despite wanting to be a small little stick, I don't want to lose my period. It feels wrong in my soul. I want children someday. My last period, was late and very light. My period this month consisted of the lightest spotting for a few hours, then no more. I would like to nip this before it becomes a thing.
I know the simple solution would be to eat more food. Harder said than done, but it's something I will definitely be trying.
​
A paradox: I don't want to ruin my body while ruining my body.
​
Does anyone recommend certain trusted supplements? Any veggies or root veggies I should be loading up on?
​
[Other] Avoid Skin Problem by Changing these 5 Eating Habits
/u/runny_love
Created: Mon Nov 12 07:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9weg1w/avoid_skin_problem_by_changing_these_5_eating/
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https://www.fitsquad.co.in/2018/11/avoid-skin-problems-by-changing-these-5-eating-habits.html
[Rant/Rave] Honest calorie tracking solves all mysteries!
/u/saltsplendasriracha [5'7"| CW 121 | GW 113 | +8 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 06:30:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9we0iy/honest_calorie_tracking_solves_all_mysteries/
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Two days ago I looked at my MFP from my LW days and realized exactly what I'm doing wrong now. So I've tracked calories for two days and I feel so POWERFUL! Honestly I don't even care about how I look in the mirror right now because I know that \~this\~ is not what I will look like in two weeks. Thanks to MFP and Bronkaid.
Hope yall have a great week.
[Discussion] What apps would you like to see?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| ??kg| ]
Created: Mon Nov 12 06:18:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdxq1/what_apps_would_you_like_to_see/
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Recently I’ve been learning iOS developing to stop my focus on food and bingeing. I was wondering is there any app that is not on the market that you wish was? It can be to help your ed or not related at all.. I’ve been making stuff to fill the time and boredom
[Discussion] Best Netflix thinspo?
/u/raininginkyoto_
Created: Mon Nov 12 06:14:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdwr0/best_netflix_thinspo/
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So I don't tend to go to Netflix specifically to find thinspo but sometimes watching things I can't help but think about it.
For me Chilling Adventures of Sabrina was great thinspo, like damn I want to look as good as Sabrina does in that wedding/dark baptism dress and I have a weird thing for her collarbones.
Anyone got any other shows/characters they think about like this?
[Help] What are some things that ACTUALLY distract you from eating?
/u/orthoreXXX [23F | 5’4” | cw 110.6 | gw 99 | bmi 19.4]
Created: Mon Nov 12 06:02:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdtr3/what_are_some_things_that_actually_distract_you/
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Watching TV makes me want food, writing makes me want food, doing nothing at all makes me want food.
The only thing I’ve found that actually distracts me from eating is playing video games (and not all of them. Playing sims makes me really want food but playing skyrim/red dead redemption makes me completely forget about food)
Anyone have any tips??
[Help] My boyfriend (19) keeps triggering my (20) eating disorder
/u/AkumaRyoshi
Created: Mon Nov 12 05:36:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdnsg/my_boyfriend_19_keeps_triggering_my_20_eating/
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My boyfriend also has an eating disorder, but it seems to have developed only in the last few months. He's not really knowledgeable about EDs, just that the psychiatrists and family have told him that he has a lot of symptoms ie. Restriction, meal skipping, intrusive thoughts about food and weight. I've told him twice throughout our 4 month relationship about my eating disorder, but he never makes any comments regarding it, even if I haven't eaten for 3 days. He once even complimented my weight loss knowing full well the cause, though I believe that to be obliviousness of his comments rather than malice.
He is very reliant on me through mental struggles, and he often says passing comments like "I'm not eating dinner tonight" "I've eaten too much today" "I look so fat, I wish I could stop eating"
Every time I hear something like this i feel this spike of anxiety, and its like this mental wall comes up over the hunger and I can't eat. There are a lot of stresses for both of us, and I need to be there for him or I know he will spiral, but I'm feeling more stressed and restricting more as this goes on.
I know I should talk to him about this, but every time i think about doing it I feel like I'll have a panic attack and I don't know what to do.
[Discussion] DAE panic even when ordering the healthiest options in case of hidden calories?
/u/Casaiya
Created: Mon Nov 12 05:22:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdks9/dae_panic_even_when_ordering_the_healthiest/
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So I went out for lunch with my mother and grandmother on Saturday, as my mother wanted to treat me. I ordered the lowest calorie item on the menu (tomato soup) but still felt panicky all afternoon in case they'd used cream (the HORROR) in the soup as well as just vegetables.
It's so frustrating that I can't even enjoy a nice treat out with my family as unless I've personally made the food or been involved in making it, I get really stressed about what might have been in it and whether it's secretly double the calories I'd allowed for it.
Does anyone else find this?
Weekly Stats Update! November 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 12 05:13:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdis5/weekly_stats_update_november_12_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 12, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! November 12, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 12 05:13:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdire/daily_food_diary_november_12_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 12, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] i am so very happy
/u/likrot
Created: Mon Nov 12 04:44:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdco2/i_am_so_very_happy/
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i reached 132 pounds today! i only have 17 more to go to reach my first goal, and ive already lost 27 pounds, so its like nothing! i discovered energy drinks and their A. caffeine and B. their 0 calories and i got past a 3 week plateau. i could really cry!
[Discussion] Has anyone tried this gum?
/u/tokyopearl
Created: Mon Nov 12 04:42:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdcdh/has_anyone_tried_this_gum/
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http://www.munchiesbgone.com
[Goal] New goal
/u/MellowMelly [170cm(5'7) | 70kg (155 lbs) | BMI: 24.2 :(]
Created: Mon Nov 12 04:36:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wdb8u/new_goal/
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I finally have a new goal. Next year in May we're going on holiday (to the beach) with the company I work for. I hope this helps me to restrict. My last goal was my tattoo appointment but I only had time of 1 week, so I only lost 3lbs, and after the appointment I ate alot so.. yeah.. I'm afraid to know my current weight. I hope I can lose around 22 lbs until May (BMI 20,7 then) but it's not gonna happen LOL. What are your goals?
I just want to stop eating and not bother with food, because once I start eating it can always end in a binge (But I hate being dizzy and cold.). And to be honest, I binge more than I restrict and I wouldn't even restrict if I hadn't gained weight from bingeing. (sry for my bad english)
[Discussion] Plateauing is affecting my mental health
/u/monstersona
Created: Mon Nov 12 04:26:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wd94g/plateauing_is_affecting_my_mental_health/
---
I had progress going pretty steadily but I cant seem to break myself out of this 130's funk. I know its my own fault for not watching my calorie intake more. How do you guys handle not being able to get out of a weight range? (Not asking for tips/etc just confiding/ranting)
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else have days where they feel like they’re cured?
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 04:16:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wd758/anyone_else_have_days_where_they_feel_like_theyre/
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Not like “oh I ate today and that was hard! Go me!”
But like legitimately feel like you recovered? Like that your mindset is all “I’m going to be healthy! I care about my body! I love myself!”
And like you’re totally convinced you’re back to normal and that you can eat healthy and have a normal relationship with food until you fucking realize
Telling yourself you’re going to lose weight the healthy way by eating 1,200 and going to the gym every day is just trading one form of the eating disorder for another.
Telling yourself that you’re better now and cured but you’re still not going to eat today/tomorrow because you binged all weekend is a fucking lie because you’re still not healthy OR NORMAL.
What the fuck is up with me?? How bad can this cognitive dissonance get istg all this happened in the span of like 10 minutes and now I’m back to where I started. Not that I especially left. 🙄🙄🙄
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I feel like such a fraud.
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| ??kg| ]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:53:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wd2w4/sometimes_i_feel_like_such_a_fraud/
---
Sorry for spamming this sun reddit but there is something I want to get off my chest. I’ve never been diagnosed with anorexia or any ed related disorders. I’m still under 18 and I told my parents about my unhealthy relationship with food and body image but they don’t believe and don’t think it’s serious enough to find a doctor/therapist. My bmi is still in the overweight range and my parents don’t think it’s possible. They are kinda old and not well educated when it comes to mental health. Every time I try to tell them they think it’s a joke. Tbh I struggled a lot with food ever since before puberty. I remember scoffing down 6 bananas in a row at some point when I was like eight simply from boredom. That’s just one example but yea I never really learnt what a healthy relationship is. Also I don’t want to go to a therapist or tell any one because I have bad anxiety when it comes to health professionals. Sorry for the rant :(
[Discussion] Does anyone here actually want big boobs?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| ??kg| ]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wd1rh/does_anyone_here_actually_want_big_boobs/
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So a couple days ago I asked about everyone’s bra size and bmi and I noticed a lot of the comments were upset because they were bigger chested.
I’m scared of losing my boobs as I lose weight. There’s this girl at my school who is about the same height as me but like 20kgs lighter with a much prettier face but she is flat chested. This is a really fucked up way of thinking but if I lose 20kg and retain my boobs at least I’ll be better than her in some regard.. I’m sorry it sounds soo messed.
GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN SAINSBURYS TODAY!
/u/aha98 [160cm CW: ~129lbs LW: ~115lbs GW: 105lbs F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:42:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wd0t1/guys_look_what_i_found_in_sainsburys_today/
---
https://i.redd.it/9hnwhjkopvx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Just when I think I’ve got everything under control!
/u/ziyal79 [155cms | 74kg | 31 | 0 | Female]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:35:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wczk9/just_when_i_think_ive_got_everything_under_control/
---
Everything in my life is a dog’s breakfast. I am not kidding! I’m potentially facing homelessness because I’m at the end of my lease, and I can’t find anywhere else to live due to the extremes competitiveness of the rental market. I’m on the list for public housing and that could take actual years. I’ve gone back to study because I need distraction and something else to focus on. On top of this, my weight is the highest it has ever been.
I feel like the only solution is to enforce a pattern on myself where I have to exercise every day and fast two to three days per week because the weight loss isn’t coming. Adding to this mess, I’m slowly weaning off seroquel. If everything else was stable, I’d probably be able to handle ONE of these things, but somehow I’ve decided to handle them all in combination and to fail at any of these will just remind me that I’m a stupid, fat waste of space.
Good times!
[Rant/Rave] Sooo, had to go to the Dr's today
/u/katiegoodluck [171cm | 52.1kg | BMI: 17.8 | 23kgs lost | Female ]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:33:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wcz3s/sooo_had_to_go_to_the_drs_today/
---
Because the good ol anxiety/depression combo is back. I got asked what my height weight was, told her, and what she bloody said next was...
"oh, did you know that you have a very low bmi?"
Yep
"You don't look like it. Are you sure those measurements are right?"
Fuuuuuck offffff. Really?!
So pissed. Especially because I was there for mental health reasons!
[Rant/Rave] Even at my GW, I’ll still be ugly
/u/coffidu [21, M, bulimic | BMI 19.8 | 12/40lbs lost]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:24:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wcxft/even_at_my_gw_ill_still_be_ugly/
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I’ll admit, I’m usually one of those people who imagines that their life will ~magically~ improve once they’re at their GW - I’ll be confident, I’ll be able to wear any clothes I like, my anxiety/agoraphobia will improve and I’ll be able to leave the house, I’ll have friends, etc. But the one thing I know *won’t* improve is my appearance. I’ll always be ugly.
I know I’m one of the few people who’s *genuinely* ugly because I’ve been tormented for it my whole life. Starting when I was 5 I was bullied for my appearance, to the point I had surgery on my nose to fix a birth mark aged 6. (Surgery didn’t help, by the way - it left a huge scar that’s *still* noticeable.)
I’m also so ugly that people have never been able to tell what gender I am. I’m transgender - FtM - so I was raised female, and I presented as such until I was 15. Yet even as a little girl, I was frequently read as male due to how ugly my features are. Nowadays I’m just a short, stumpy, genderless mess who makes people uncomfortable because they can’t tell if they’re looking at a man or a woman.
My appearance is one of the things that makes me suicidal because no matter how much I try to tell myself that appearance doesn’t matter, every day society pushes the opposite: all that matters in life is how gorgeous you look, and everyone else you see is absolutely stunning. You’re ugly, you’re worthless. You deserve to die.
It just makes me sad that although I’m generally looking forward to being at my GW, I know it’s not going to change the fact that I’m fundamentally ugly. I’ll be skinny... but I’ll never look normal.
That just breaks my heart.
(I know this probably won’t be relatable to anyone here - hell, I’ve seen the selfie threads, everyone here’s beautiful - and that it’s only marginally related to my ED, I just needed somewhere to vent. Not having a great morning.)
Weird thing that happened 2 weeks ago
/u/hereinthemoment
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:19:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wcwex/weird_thing_that_happened_2_weeks_ago/
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I went on a field trip and hadn’t eaten for breakfast or lunch, in the afternoon I thought I was dying. I was dizzy, vision was a bit blurry, just weird. I bought water so I wasn’t dehydrated. I just find this weird because I haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch multiple times before so idk why on my field trip it started hurting the most?
I was walking a lot, we were in Times Square. I’m thinking that’s why but I still don’t know.
[Rant/Rave] One of those days
/u/Ardental [5'0 |CW 101.8| BMI 19| -30lbs | 22 Female]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:15:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wcvlf/one_of_those_days/
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Wake up. Weigh self. Realise I am so close to being under 100lbs for the first time in my adult life.
Cry because I am still a fat mess.
Cry because no matter what number is on the scale I will still be a fat mess.
Self harm. Cry because it feels pathetic.
Cry because I've cried so much. Yeah. One of those days
Something i hate about my new job
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:08:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wcu9e/something_i_hate_about_my_new_job/
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First full time job in nearly 2 years, yay!
Its factory work and even though ive massively slipped up on my dieting due to new job and breaking up with bf im still losing weight.
I work in the uk and in my factory theres a lot of eastern European people working there (theres only maybe 4 other english people in the whole factory) and they are TINY. so thin and small but still manage to have bigger boobs than me.
Theres tables around to help with packing and everywhere is such a tight space i cant fit my fat ass through anything but they all get around easily. I cant work as quickly im squeezing through everywhere.
I feel fucking disgusting
[Goal] It takes 21 days to break a habit. Anybody want to join me?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW: 123 | HW: 160 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 12 03:08:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wcu5i/it_takes_21_days_to_break_a_habit_anybody_want_to/
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It's time to take back control of our EDs, even if its just breaking one small habit. I'm going to try and stop binge-eating and purging. A big task, but I'm confident I can do it this time. I don't want to end 2018 in a worse place than before. This can still be a year full of success.
Anyone care to join me for 21 days? What habit will you break?
i need inspiration
/u/avamayx
Created: Mon Nov 12 02:13:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wcj2b/i_need_inspiration/
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i want to stop eating but i can’t. i don’t take anything to school to eat but when i come home it doesn’t even matter bc i’ll just eat everything i would’ve eaten. i’m sick of this cycle - waking up thinking i’m finally going to stop eating then eating and feeling so guilty about.
[Rant/Rave] Crying at Applebee's- A Classic ED Adventure
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Mon Nov 12 01:49:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wce9v/crying_at_applebees_a_classic_ed_adventure/
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Today, my grandmother invited me, my brother, and my mother to lunch, because none of us had seen her in a while and we're a pretty tight-knit bunch, so a visit was due.
Shoulda been nice, right?
"Nope," my disordered eating cried gleefully, "that should *not* be nice!"
I didn't even make it ordering *food* without breaking down.
The choice between iced tea and diet pepsi was too much more the anorexic-anxiety cocktail that is my frazzled brain.
I was full-on sobbing at the table in a busy restaurant.
Now, my whole family is in the know about my ED. I've had multiple hospitalizations since the age of 14 that let the cat right out of the bag, but none of the strangers side-eyeing me, I'm certain, could fathom why this strangling was in hysterics, fanning herself and dabbing at her eyes like a Victoria lady who'd just heard her husband died in an accident at the factory, in the middle of a damned Applebee's.
I'll take "critical blows to my self-esteem for 1000," Alex.
[Rant/Rave] Crying at Applebee's- a classed ED adventure
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Mon Nov 12 01:48:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wce30/crying_at_applebees_a_classed_ed_adventure/
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Today, my grandmother invited me, my brother, and my mother to lunch, because none of us had seen her in a while and we're a pretty tight-knit bunch, so a visit was due.
Shoulda been nice, right?
"Nope," my disordered eating cried gleefully, "that should *not* be nice!"
I didn't even make it ordering *food* without breaking down.
The choice between iced tea and diet pepsi was too much more the anorexic-anxiety cocktail that is my frazzled brain.
I was full-on sobbing at the table in a busy restaurant.
Now, my whole family is in the know about my ED. I've had multiple hospitalizations since the age of 14 that let the cat right out of the bag, but none of the strangers side-eyeing me, I'm certain, could fathom why some strangling was in hysterics, fanning herself and dabbing at her eyes like a Victoria lady who'd just heard her husband died in an accident at the factory, in the middle of a damned Applebee's.
I'll take "critical blows to my self-esteem for 1000," Alex.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I knew how to take a compliment
/u/velocity2ds
Created: Mon Nov 12 01:21:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wc8rr/i_wish_i_knew_how_to_take_a_compliment/
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I’ve been seeing this guy and compared to my last guy he gives a lot more compliments. And they seem like sincere compliments too whether it’s about my brain or body or face but I’m so awkward or go full out denial mode when he says anything. He called me out about it later on text tonight saying that when he compliments me I stare into the void. Or worse I’ll start making comments about how I’m disgusting and ugly. It’s like self SHUT UP you’re showing such a fucked up thing that only hurts you esp since I’m in recovery and no negative self talk is so important to progress.
So I make things worse by putting myself soooo down and I don’t even want to do this since letting someone I’ve been seeing for 2 months hear how I view myself and my body so lowly is far too intimate. I just ugh why can’t I just function without being a freak
Sometimes wonder if my gf would love me more if I wasn't fat.
/u/Amnotsosureaboutthis
Created: Mon Nov 12 00:59:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wc4ik/sometimes_wonder_if_my_gf_would_love_me_more_if_i/
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I am super new to reddit so I'm probably gonna fuck this up as I do with most things but I've recently started dating my best friend and I'm struggling with the idea that she might not be super physically attracted to me even if she loves me emotionally very much. She's never made derogatory comments about my weight and has definitely dated guys with my build in the past, but always seems to lose attraction to them over time. I worry if I don't lose weight quick or look a certain way the spark will fade and I will lose not only my girl friend but also my best friend. I've started really tracking my weight for the first time and I've noticed I'm never really hungry.
I guess the point I'm trying to get to is that I went from eating like 2500 calories a day to closer to 700-800 and I only really eat when it hurts anymore.
​
I still have a pretty strong oral fixation of I've been maxing out on mints or cough drops, smoking, whatever I can get my hands on.
​
I'm probably getting in over my head here and I recognize what I'm doing isn't sustainable. I just don't want to lose the one person who has ever made me feel loved to something like my beer belly. Anyway, pour the down votes or hit me with the ban hammer or whatever you reddit people do. God Bless and have a good night.
[Rant/Rave] i’m so stuck in a binge cycle
/u/tarynughhh
Created: Mon Nov 12 00:53:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wc3hh/im_so_stuck_in_a_binge_cycle/
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i have literally gained all of the weight back from my starting weight within a couple weeks and i’m so discouraged and upset and so how do i comfort myself? FOOD. i really really hope this cycle stops because i will restrict all day and be fine, then night time comes around and i just become a zombie and can’t control myself and eat everything. i wish i could stop.
All hail spaghetti squash
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 150 | GW: 125| BMI: 21.75 |]
Created: Mon Nov 12 00:30:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbyqb/all_hail_spaghetti_squash/
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Truly an amazing thing I didn't know existed until last night.
Thank you, spaghetti squash, for making me feel like a normal person who eats pasta 💖
[Rant/Rave] Can I just rant about the mess that is myself?
/u/moncai-mama
Created: Mon Nov 12 00:22:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbx4p/can_i_just_rant_about_the_mess_that_is_myself/
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Mobile.
Obligatory “Im drunk”.
Ive been Ednos since I was 11, anorexic since I was 14, in and out of recovery and therapy.
Im 26 now, two babies later, Im at the highest weight Ive ever been in my whole life (145 Lbs. Lowest weight ever was 92.4lbs)
I thought for so long I was fine, Ive been resisting bad habits for so long. Eating well, not obsessing. Like a full year of feeling the closest to normal Ive ever felt.
But ONE glance in a shop mirror and it was over. I saw the whale I am. FUCK shop mirrors honestly. Hence the reason I am straight up hammered right now.
I havnt eaten all day, and Im listening to sad music, drinking alone. Snapchatting my poor baby sister who doesn’t deserve to worry about her older sister.
Tomorrow is going to be interesting.
You are all warriors in this world.
Is anyone up and just want to chat? I could use a distraction.
/u/tornessa [5'2"| 107 | 19.6 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:42:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbo88/is_anyone_up_and_just_want_to_chat_i_could_use_a/
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I’ve been feeling on the edge of becoming hypomanic for over 24 hours (I’m Bipolar II) and I just can’t bring myself to eat. But I’m so hungry and know I would feel a lot better if I ate. It’s really hard to eat alone though and would love to just talk to someone to distract me while I’m eating oatmeal.
We don’t need to talk about anything serious, but I’m open to that if you want to. Just a friendly back and forth would be nice.
[Help] Getting Bronkaid or similar in the EU?
/u/_koala_master_
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:34:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbmmc/getting_bronkaid_or_similar_in_the_eu/
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So I'm in the EU where you basically cant get stuff like that. Has any EU resident here ever tried to order them from Ebay? Do you think does sellers are legit?
I feel too old to have an eating disorder
/u/Kummerspeck101
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:34:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbmge/i_feel_too_old_to_have_an_eating_disorder/
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I am 26 years old, 27 next year. I developed an eating disorder like two years ago after I dropped down to <120 lbs. from 220. Binge eating is back. Sometimes I purge but sometimes after having purged a couple times I get too sore/tired. Now I'm just lying here, digesting like a big fat snake. My neck and back and hips hurt from bending over the toilet. I'm too old for this shit.
[Help] When do the hunger pains end?
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:27:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbkz8/when_do_the_hunger_pains_end/
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When does it get a little easier to not eat my stomach aches and my mood is very agitated due to lack of food I need to be skinny and I’m not stopping anytime soon I just feel like I can’t keep it up and I’ll binge really bad I’ve gotta get it under better control!!!
I feel absolutely awful admitting this but here I am
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbj1f/i_feel_absolutely_awful_admitting_this_but_here_i/
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So this year I was the new girl at my school. And the first week, I made friends with this girl in my science class. We were pretty good friends, but we never had much in common and she always made me feel sort of shitty. Anyways a lot of times she’d make little off hand comments about my body. I’m like 5’6 and 115, she’s like 5’4 and probably 150? Anyways.
Last month, her ex boyfriend killed himself and her new boyfriend dumped her. Obviously that’s an awful lot for somebody to handle, and she started posting some really suicidal stuff to her private story. I was really worried, so I showed it to the school counselor. I knew that my friend would be livid if she found out I snitched but I thought it was the right thing to do
Anyways. 3 days go by. Then, without saying a word to me, she blocks me on EVERYTHING. I guess she found out. Then I hear from some other people that she’s posting on her public insta story (with 900 followers!!!) that I am a slut and the reason her boyfriend broke up with her is because he was fucking me. Y’all. I’ve only kissed one guy and I’ve never had sex.
So now I’m the new girl and the slut. I see her tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to it. But this is giving me such motivation to starve. She always mentioned my body, and said she was jealous. If I’m a slut now at least I won’t be a fat slut
Thanks for reading if you got this far. Damn I hate life rn
[Help] What happened to Thinspo?
/u/PiggySmiggyGiggy
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:14:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbi5u/what_happened_to_thinspo/
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Idk if I've been blocked from it or what, but I can't find it. (the subreddit)
I didn't post anything creepy or break any rules. Heck l, the only comment I've posted about it was "Wow!". Did it get deleted? Anyone else have this happen? I heard they were going private and I was excited, but now I can't see it..
For real this time . . .
/u/RebelliousSquash
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:08:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbglu/for_real_this_time/
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I've hard restricted before, and I can do it again. I have to. I have to, I have to, I have to.
The holidays are coming up, and I can't have my family seeing me like the fat pig I am. I'm so much bigger than everyone else in my family. I hate it.
I need to lose at least 5 pounds in the next two weeks. That's doable, I think. I can do it. I have to.
Who else is prepping for the holidays?
[Rant/Rave] I am a waste of space
/u/snowballfightme
Created: Sun Nov 11 23:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wber0/i_am_a_waste_of_space/
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I promised myself under 750 until Christmas and I've done it easily until today when I ate nearly 1400. It's the most triggering thing in the world that my calorie counting app congratulated me for eating at my goal (lowest possible was 1400) instead of telling me that I urgently need to eat more, I feel like I am never ever going to reach my goal and without it I am nothing. If I'm not losing weight I don't think I can live with myself. I can't tell what I look like, it changes every time I see myself. I don't even eat less than my mom. I was at 500, then I binged on apricots and naan bread?? I want to fucking die. Everyone in my life sees me as a fat fuck and if I'm not making progress I can't live with that. My thighs barely gap at the top blobs and I'm obsessed with looking at that sliver in every reflective service and intensifying my self hatred at every opportunity. I literally want to kill myself when I see my pathetic excuse for a though gap and the fact that I look like a mid-healthy bmi. Please fucking kill me
120.8lbs couple days ago, no scale rn
5'8"
I just cut myself for the first time in years
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 93 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:40:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wbabd/i_just_cut_myself_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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i love how it feels. i still cringe seeing the wound...I forgot how much it hurts but that makes it better. i deserve it for not being skinny enough. not being pretty enough. I want to be weak and tiny. I want my face to look miserable and sickly.
it makes me feel giddy seeing my blood drip on the floor. That came from me! Don't I need that to live? and yet it's all pouring out of me. Maybe it'll all leak out, and ill just crumple and die.
I havent eaten anything today. I feel like I might pass out. If I fall, I hope it hurts. I hope I hit something on the way down and wake up crying cause it hurts so much.
[Discussion] Anyone else dread meeting up with their friends for fear of binging?
/u/hippobampus
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:39:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wba7v/anyone_else_dread_meeting_up_with_their_friends/
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Without fail I end up binging everytime we hang out 💀. They always end up convincing my weak ass with with, "Oh it won't be fun if you don't eat/ It's just one day!!!" I'm so weak willed when it comes to rejecting food and once I eat one thing I go absolutely crazy and can't stop myself. I feel so disgusted with myself right now urghhhh.
Anyone Successfully Beat BED with Cutting/Bulking Cycles?
/u/MassiveConcert
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:28:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb7oz/anyone_successfully_beat_bed_with_cuttingbulking/
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I'm looking for any success stories out there for people who successfully beat the whole binge and then restrict heavily cycle. For me it started out as losing weight. I got into fasting and then that turned into me binging once my fast ended. Which then caused me to uncontrollably eat for a month and gain 30lbs. I finally am getting close back down to my original goal weight through hardcore extended fasts. My mind is in the right place now, I don't want to make the same mistake again and binge my whole life away. My whole intention of losing weight was so I could bulk up and gain muscle (I'm a guy) but it's turned into this vicious cycle of me reaching my goal and then me self sabotaging everything.
​
Has anyone here actually beaten this and gotten on with their lives? I don't know how to eat normal anymore. It's like I either eat 5000 calories or I eat nothing, I can't wrap my head around this. Thanks
[Other] I’m on the edge of wanting recovery but I always back out
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 26F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:27:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb7eq/im_on_the_edge_of_wanting_recovery_but_i_always/
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Sorry for the dumb description but I always consider recovery but I always think to myself—no I can’t. Look at how much I’ve accomplished—I’ll ruin everything.
It’s so dumb.
My ED splits me from who I am yet it makes me feel like this is who I am—what I’ll need, what I’ll be.
I’m sick but I’m not sick. I feel so strong but so close to collapse. Logical thoughts live side by side with my ED thoughts. My dreams and wishes have become shallow and it doesn’t make sense.
Sad rant.
[Rant/Rave] This is why I eat alone. Also titled: Families are wonderful.. and sometimes they suck
/u/sunshineyyysoul
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb7du/this_is_why_i_eat_alone_also_titled_families_are/
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Mom just came close to my food. Like an inch away typa close. Bent her head down, so “she could see” what I was eating. What. The. Fuck. Pardon my French. Back the fuck up; who does that? Apparently boundaries mean nothing. I broke my fast on pancakes. And she (I’m not even exaggerating; not even a little bit), bent down an inch away from my food, because she couldn’t “see what I was eating”. What. The. Fuck.
This is why I eat alone. Don’t make comments about my food and respect my boundaries. Is that hard? I guess that’s hard. This. Is. Why. I. Eat. Alone.
I'm back! (again) (also this is going to be a ridiculously long post so I'm sorry in advance)
/u/sweettutu64 [5'3 | -51.4 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb7ck/im_back_again_also_this_is_going_to_be_a/
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well it's been a few months since I've posted on here! but I'm back and feel worse than ever :) I was in therapy since February, and decided to move to Maryland in September! the last few sessions my therapist and I discussed how much progress I had made and I genuinely thought I'd never be back. but uh, the moment life gets shitty I guess I just resort to the unhealthy coping mechanisms we all know so dearly.
I've gained 20 lbs since moving here, I got off the pill because I thought it was contributing to my depressive episodes so my periods are all irregular and I'm getting cramps and mood swings that I've never experienced before. my ex and I broke up late July and that sort of was the catalyst for me to realize that I should do what makes me happy and I wanted to move to the mountains. and I am happy here! but I'm beyond stressed out. I had a friend that lived here and we became roommates and moved to a new place on the 1st and we haven't had heat or hot water since. it's been a nightmare dealing with the property management company and I'm so over all the stress. I have a new partner and despite the fact that we're both consenting adults, his dad is driving me insane and we aren't allowed to spend alone time together because he still lives under his dad's roof and apparently I'm a horrible mistake that's going to ruin his life because I'm not a Christian.
it's just so much and I can't handle it. I can feel all my clothes being tighter and I am bulging out everywhere. I want to tear my hair out and pull off all of my skin and I just feel like my body is not my own. I took an EC stack today again for the first time in over a year, despite how shitty it makes me feel and I didn't even care! I'm just so over everything and restricting feels like it'll be the only thing I'll have control over. I want to disappear and I want my body to look as shitty as I feel. I want to be emaciated because I feel so hollow inside. here we go again, I guess.
[Discussion] Anyone else sleep way more when fasting?
/u/Doctordoomduck
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:25:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb6zk/anyone_else_sleep_way_more_when_fasting/
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Just accidentally slept 11 hours straight during a 36 hour fast. Not sure how or why, but maybe my sleeping pills were affecting me more because I went to bed on an empty stomach? Does anyone else get better sleep when they’re hungry?
i’m never eating again
/u/liddle_eggroll
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:23:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb6k9/im_never_eating_again/
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i literally just want to see and feel my body waste away. i want to have the mental and physical pain of my body starving. it’s the best feeling ever and no one understands. i hope i can stop eating forever
[Rant/Rave] I have no idea how to eat healthily
/u/Moose--And--Squirrel
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:14:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb4df/i_have_no_idea_how_to_eat_healthily/
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My relationship with food is so awful, I don't know what normal is anymore. I'm trying to hard to just eat "normally" but that's apparently impossible for me now. My nutrition is so beyond screwed, my diet makes no sense.
I've become fucking addicted to sugar and I'm too much of a bitch to stop myself from eating it, so I'll just go and eat my day's calories in sugar. My diet for the past week has basically been like a thing of halotop and a little bag of cotton candy every day. I end up feeling like I'm going to pass out half the time, but I don't even know what else I want to eat. I don't want to eat anything. I don't know where to start with making a "healthy" diet, I just know this ain't it.
I thought reddit was glitching for a solid minute. I had to refresh the page.
/u/throwawaysoone [5'2 | FAT | :( | whatever | 22F | 🍑: ananbee]
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:12:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb3w8/i_thought_reddit_was_glitching_for_a_solid_minute/
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https://i.redd.it/vob9jkdw2ux11.jpg
Binged real bad tonight because it’s been a rough week tomorrow starts my new “meal plan” I made up for myself
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Sun Nov 11 22:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wb1sa/binged_real_bad_tonight_because_its_been_a_rough/
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Binged...couldn’t purge feel lost and hate my body but this time I’m not gonna binge after tonight only sticking to my new meal plan!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Can’t a girl purge in freakin peace :)))
/u/HeyRamen
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:55:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9waznw/cant_a_girl_purge_in_freakin_peace/
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I binged so I really want to purge right now but my brothers are still awake and roaming the house and I tried doing it really quick in a trash bag in my room but I feel like I’m too loud and I don’t want anyone to hear me. I feel like one of them might have heard me and I’m so nervous about getting caught :,)
How long did it take for you to lose your first 10 pounds?
/u/catterific
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:53:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9waz4d/how_long_did_it_take_for_you_to_lose_your_first/
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im 5’3 and 138 and i was wondering how long it will take me to reach 110. And how low should I aim and how long i should workout for? what did u guys do to get ur results and how long did it take u ?
thanks for any help guys
Anyone else find winter / cold weather makes it super difficult to stay in track?
/u/skinemergency
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:52:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9waytx/anyone_else_find_winter_cold_weather_makes_it/
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Hey all --
I was super strict with my eating and working out over the summer, probably because I was wearing swimsuits and less/more revealing clothes. Now that it's super cold, though, I'm bundled up in sweaters/coats that are obviously more forgiving, so I'm not as concerned about maintaining a flat stomach, for example. Like, I finally worked out today after skipping for over a month, and I've been very lenient with my diet (normally do no dairy or grains, and very meticulous with calorie counting). It's so hard to keep my resolve with the holidays coming up too. Also my skin sucks in the winter so I just generally feel blah and don't care as much :(((
[Help] Pro ED motivation buddy?
/u/BrokenBabyDoll_
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:10:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9waone/pro_ed_motivation_buddy/
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Hey guys! I'm new here. I've been looking at this sub for a while and honestly, I never thought I would post here. I would see people with eating disorders and I wouldn't understand. Why starve yourself and make yourself suffer? Can't you just eat healthy and excersize?
I had that mindset as a thin 13 year old. Who could fit in a size small and my ribs were visible. I'm 15 now. I miss those days
I thought I had confidence. I thought I was fine with my body but I'm not. I ask for ratings (pictures of me on my profile) and yeah, I get conpliments. But there are always those people people tell me what I already know but I don't want to admit. I should lose weight.
I work out 4x a week for hours (I do fencing)
I eat generally healthy
But that's not enough. Because when I get just a little bit of extra money I go out and buy snacks I don't need. (I get weak for goldfish) And when I'm sitting home feeling bored or just the tiniest bit hungry, I eat.
Usually I can stay motivated on a diet but lately I can't. I think it would be easier to have a friend. We can motivate each other to stay strong, talk about what we did eat (or didn't eat) through out the day, and just be friends with a goal.
I hope this kind of post is allowed and thank you so much if you have read it all. If you would like to talk please pm me.
[Rant/Rave] Disposing of stockpiles of snack foods
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | CW 116.2 | BMI 19.0 | HW 136 | LW 90 | 27F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:10:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9waole/disposing_of_stockpiles_of_snack_foods/
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Just venting, as I binge through my Quest bar stash...
Pros: uhhh my muscles are refueled?
My anxiety is going down as I'm running out of snack foods to have to make decisions on. Pretty soon, I'll only have meal things which, I guess, will only occupy 1-2 meal slots a day and that's easily 500 calories or less. :D
Finished at 1700 today. At least my deficit will be easier tomorrow with no more Quest bars lying around. ;)
It'll be ok, I guess.
​
ALSO, does anyone else love eating things that irritate your stomach just to make you feel like something is "working"? Like the whole no-pain-no-gain mentality. I equate stomach hurting with hunger, emptiness, or post-laxative it'll-all-be-gone-soon cues so when I do binge, I try to binge on stuff that makes me gurgly lol.
​
Thanks for listening loves <3
[Other] I cant access the r/thinspo sub anymore...
/u/anxthekitten [5’5.5 | 16F | SW 155lb | CW 141.6lb | UGW 110lb]
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:09:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9waoh6/i_cant_access_the_rthinspo_sub_anymore/
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i feel like i can’t post this here but i don’t know who else to ask really. i remember reading something about the r/thinspo going private but tbh i have no idea what that means. i was subbed to it for so long and i was going to post something and it said error when i clicked on the sub. /: just curious on how to or if i can even access it. thanks and i’ll delete this if it isn’t okay for me to post it here.
[Help] What do you do about audible stomach growls?
/u/Cabbagepatchkitty
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:03:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wan2x/what_do_you_do_about_audible_stomach_growls/
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When I’m hungry my stomach growls, and sometimes it’s loud!
Is there any way to stop the growling? It’s embarrassing.
[Rant/Rave] Planning my c/s haul at Trader Joe’s
/u/kimboislame [5'1 | CW: 115 | SW: 125 | GW: 105 | 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 21:00:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wambd/planning_my_cs_haul_at_trader_joes/
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So admittedly I recently discovered c/s and it’s relieved so much of my anxiety of having food in the house and wanting to buy delicious high calorie foods (could never resist buying a damn cookie). With two of my most important midterms coming up this week I’m literally planning the foods I’m going to buy at TraderJoes tomorrow morning to stress eat (chew??). I gained 10 pounds last year just from stress eating during exam season, a habit I can’t seem to kick and I can’t let that happen again.
Going to wake up early and take a long walk with my coffee to my local Trader Joe’s to buy cupcakes, muffins, brownies, cookies and cake to c/s. I’m at the peak of my disorder :)))))))
[Rant/Rave] I didn’t want this to happen. (tw: relapse)
/u/chrysanthemym [🌻 she/her | cw: 145 | gw: 108 🌻]
Created: Sun Nov 11 20:39:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wagv5/i_didnt_want_this_to_happen_tw_relapse/
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I didn’t want this to happen. Deep down, I truly didn’t want this to happen. But here I am, a week before thanksgiving, finding myself relapsing back into an eating disorder.
I didn’t want to drive to three different pharmacies just to purchase 60 capsules of Bronkaid. I didn’t want to purchase bone broth, bulk water flavor packets, diet coke, and instant coffee. I didn’t want to start having anxiety about food just less than a week before thanksgiving. But here I am, doing the exact thing I didn’t want to happen. All thanks to an image.
It’s because of [this image](http://i.imgur.com/YsKFskz.jpg) that I relapsed. And even though I keep telling myself I didn’t want this to happen, I find myself feeling that same nostalgic, sickening warm pit in my chest that I missed. Because even though I keep telling myself I didn’t want this to happen, I miss feeling empty, feeling bones, feeling small, ethereal, and most importantly *like myself*.
When I look into the mirror I don’t see myself, I see a fat, floppy lump of a person. I thought I could recover. I thought I could take a stab at Intuitive Eating and not caring about my food and just living life and enjoying family. But I can’t. I can’t. And every time I see that photo I’m reminded of why I can’t.
I didn’t want this to happen, but by god, I’m not recovering this time. I’m not. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it. I’m not stopping until I reach my goal. I’m not.
[Other] DAE’s main reason to want to be skinny is to be aesthetic?
/u/irisllama
Created: Sun Nov 11 20:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wafxq/daes_main_reason_to_want_to_be_skinny_is_to_be/
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I do not care about being more attractive for guys. I do not think that I am an ugly monster that does not look good in anything, but I want to be skinny for myself. Because every time I look at something aesthetically pleasing, it makes me happy, and for me skinny is aesthetically pleasing.
I love wearing clothes that make me stand out, but sadly not everything looks the way I want it to look on me, or how I imagine. One day I wish to be able to wear whatever I want and every time still be able to see myself in the mirror and call myself cute.
Some art I drew that I hope you all like :)
/u/Skeletor_Rise
Created: Sun Nov 11 20:27:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wadzw/some_art_i_drew_that_i_hope_you_all_like/
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https://i.imgur.com/wnzHwaM.jpg
Feel like the elliptical is making my thighs bigger???!
/u/StrikingEdge
Created: Sun Nov 11 20:16:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wab9e/feel_like_the_elliptical_is_making_my_thighs/
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Is this possible? I just want super skinny legs and I thought restricting + using the elliptical for 45 mins a day would help but I seriously feel like my thighs are bulkier.
Should I stop the exercise?? It’s way easier to low restrict without exercising anyway.
This probably sounds crazy but I don’t care about having a toned body.. I just want the look of a thin person who clearly does not work out lol
[Discussion] Am I the only one??
/u/bullymeahhh
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:59:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa6q9/am_i_the_only_one/
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Anyone else start a binge thinking I'll stop after this but somehow an additional 3,000 calroies later you realize what you've donem
[Discussion] I deleted MFP
/u/LumosErin
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa5j7/i_deleted_mfp/
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I can’t take it anymore.
I would log onto it constantly. Multiple times a day. Seeing the number of what I logged for the day just gave me unbelievable anxiety that got stronger if I even creeped above 500 or even 400.
It’s for the best. I’m still going to calorie count and watch it and try to keep a mental deficit, but I cannot take that app anymore. I’m done. It’s been nearly a week without it and I feel better.
Guess I Cant trust a fart anymore...
/u/acmay3
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:51:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa4ih/guess_i_cant_trust_a_fart_anymore/
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So I stared on PGX daily and CLA meta slim... and for the first time I actually shit myself. Thank god i was at home... alone.
But does this mean I cant sleep naked...
Lol has anyone accidentally shit the bed... Ive only ever abused lax before but cramps always wake me up and ive never had a leaky butt hole before???
Sick of the uncontrollable binge phase
/u/SqueegeeOujia
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:50:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa487/sick_of_the_uncontrollable_binge_phase/
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Since middle school, I’ve been in the cycle of binge eating for months and gaining a ton of weight, hating my body, then restricting to lose it and hating my life, then binge eating, then restricting... and on and on and fucking on.
Lately I’m in a several-month-long binge phase and I’m finally feeling ready to face it and start losing again, but I’m genuinely anxious about what comes next.
This is the first time I’ve really tried to pay attention to my feelings underneath my eating habits. On some level, I’ve been bingeing because I was just so ridiculously hungry and it got progressively out of control.
On a deeper level that I’m avoiding telling even my therapist, I’m binge eating because I’m severely depressed and it’s one of the only things that gives me energy or motivation. And I think lately it’s also related to finding this weird new comfort in being bigger because I’m not afraid of being hurt or attacked (so basically trauma related, which I’m really only just now realizing as I’m writing this...)
I just want to find my way to a healthier balance. I’m so scared of another restriction phase. I’m scared of the headaches, being dizzy and nauseated all the time, being even more emotionally unregulated than I already am, sleeping terribly, obsessing 24/7 about calorie counts, spending all my time looking at thinspo and reading myproana, missing out on social things because I’m scared of food, and most of all, hating myself.
The truth is that I hate myself so much more when I’m restricting than when I’ve shut off all of my worries during a binge phase. But I just can’t stay on this path. My clothes aren’t fitting, I’m spending so much money on food, I’m completely out of shape, and I’m avoiding people because I don’t want to be seen at a higher weight.
I guess what I’m saying is that both options really suck and I can’t even imagine what a healthy medium looks like. I’ll take advice if anyone wants to offer some, but I mainly just want to say that I’m so sad and anxious and that if anyone else is doing the binge for several months thing, I’m here with you and for you. I feel really alone but I’m hoping I’m actually not.
Guess I cant trust a Fart anymore...
/u/acmay3
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:47:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa3je/guess_i_cant_trust_a_fart_anymore/
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So I stared on PGX daily and CLA meta slim... and for the first time I actually shht myself. Thank god i was at home... alone.
But does this mean I cant sleep naked.
Lol has anyone accidentally shhht the bed... Ive only ever abused lax before but cramps always wake me up and ive never had a leaky butt hole before???
Uncertain
/u/hurtairplane
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:40:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa1qz/uncertain/
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Hey guys,
I think I'm starting to realize some things, but I'm not sure what it is. I'm also not sure if this is the right place to post, so sorry if not.
I've always been extremely self-conscious and I think I've always stress ate or emotionally ate. I've hated the way I looked for as long as I can remember and my eating has...I guess always been disorderly? More so when I started living on my own. I either eat way too much or way too little. I can't stop it. I've started restricting a lot. I'm scared, but it feels good? The number on the scale drops every day and it feels good but it also feels bad and it's also confusing.
I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe some advice or just thoughts? I also have depression and anxiety and everything is just messy.
Just noticed that the muscle that pops out when I clench my jaw is super small now
/u/kernalmustache [169cm ♀ | CW 105lbs | BMI 16.7 | SW 130lbs 🌸]
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:38:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa144/just_noticed_that_the_muscle_that_pops_out_when_i/
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I know you're not supposed to clench your jaw, but out of curiosity I was doing it in small bursts while looking in the mirror and I almost couldn't even find the muscle on each side of my face. Of course, I can also feel how much weaker the muscles are than they used to be. I'm not even capable of biting down hard enough to hurt myself anymore. I guess that's a good thing? Hopefully that's a good thing.
[Help] What are your go-to zucchini recipes?
/u/msfixir [🍑 21 | F | -16lbs | 5'4" | UGW:98 🍑]
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:37:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9wa106/what_are_your_goto_zucchini_recipes/
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I was gifted this [babe](http://imgur.com/gallery/JecR6aJ) by a professor of mine.
I now have like 2 gallons of shredded zucchini plus some extra zucchini not shredded.
What should I do with it?
I want to make zucchini bread but can't find any actually low calorie recipes and I've never made it before.
[Discussion] Logging calories guilt and confusion
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9zih/logging_calories_guilt_and_confusion/
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So I’ve always looked at my net calories for the day as the calories I’ve consumed/restricted to. I feel as though some people don’t look at net (aka they don’t subtract for exercise) and now I feel super guilty and confused
[Goal] I'm just proud of how well I did today!
/u/robreinerismydad [5’9”| 170 | F | 28]
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:25:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9xt6/im_just_proud_of_how_well_i_did_today/
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After weeks of bingeing due to life stress, I did just really really well today with getting back on track. I knew we were going to see a movie and watch the football game with my SO's family. So I made sure to eat a nutritious lunch beforehand, and log it. After the movie, I ate a Think Thin bar (I normally don't think much of protein bars but I really, really love these. 20 grams protein and it keeps me very very full). Then we went to a bar/restaurant for the football game and I SAID NO TO ALL FOOD THAT WAS OFFERED TO ME! I didn't eat anything greasy, fried, buttery, nothing! And honestly the think thin bar was keeping me full. I just drank diet soda. When I got home, I made a good dinner with rice, chickpeas, and brussel sprouts. Halo top for dessert. Overall \~ 1100 calorie day, which is more than I'd like to do while restricting, but after weeks of really abusing my body, this felt so, so good. I have energy for the first time this week and I'm just feeling good about life.
I'm seriously thinking about joining the goth subculture.
/u/clapyourhandsaywoo [1.58 | 51 | 5 ]
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:16:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9vgf/im_seriously_thinking_about_joining_the_goth/
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My routine and ED related issues are making me suicidal as I haven't been in years. I spent my days laying in bed and looking at the ceiling, crying more often than not, since I lack the motivation to do anything else. I have no one to turn to and being a bit enthusiastic over post punk and coldwave bands is the only thing that's keeping me sane. If I have enough energy, I'll learn about goth history and read goth-themed literature. I won't be able to dress like a goth until I reach adulthood because of my parent's religiousness but I don't mind it because I want to explore the subculture before fully embody it.
Strangely, developing this interest is making me feel more in control of myself. I'm not eating more but I'm able to eat full meals instead of skipping them and binging and purging my daily calories on night time. I'm always dreaming about this skinny, unhealthy looking body but with a pale, clean skin and I figured that I wouldn't accomplish it eating the way I did. This is the first time that I act rationally regarding this disease and I'm honestly proud of myself.
lucky for me!
/u/Rapudash
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9uux/lucky_for_me/
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https://i.redd.it/ybvrys09orx11.jpg
fucking hell i enjoyed myself low key for the past two weeks and i learned that a) food is great b) i can't recover just yet
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 119, -33 | 17.2 bmi | gw: 105 | 19f]
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:04:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9say/fucking_hell_i_enjoyed_myself_low_key_for_the/
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i didn't visit this sub for almost two weeks and i'm overwhelmed with ed struggles so girls gotta talk about some shit
my boyfriend is amazing and i just came home after staying at his place for two weeks and we straight up ate fries almost every single day. big salad in the evening, oily dressing and avocado, maybe some oreos, some chips, alcohol. calories were still in the back of my mind somewhere, but as long as i didn't look in the mirror, things were kind of okay. i ate like a maniac in comparison to my usual eating habits, and with all my clothes on, not having pooped in like, days, and water weight on, i weighed in at roughly 5-6 pounds heavier when i got home today. still don't know what to make of it, but i can say with absolute certainty- i love food, and i definitely hate myself.
he is so incredibly supportive of me and my struggle with recovery, but whenever he sees me take a bite less or i make a morbid joke about my eating habits, his face just drops a little bit. not in a "i'm being openly sad to guilt you into eating" kinda way, but you can just see how much he cares and worries for me, because my physical health has been really bad. like, 600 cals a day for a long time and him not playing with my hair during sex in fear of pulling it out level bad.
one time we were eating this delicious pasta carbonara and he said some things that irked me, and my brain's first reaction was to shut down my appetite. he felt so awful for feeling like he took my appetite away, even though what he said wasn't bad at all. it's seriously so fucking awful because he loves me so much and i hate to see him see me like this but when i showered at his place today i had to turn off the light, cried and planned out my calories for the next two weeks. i can't stand to see my body like this and i just want to starve and see myself go to shit again.
guys help
How to work around food when hungry?
/u/coloredfuck
Created: Sun Nov 11 19:02:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9rpn/how_to_work_around_food_when_hungry/
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I work in a cafe, and I'm wanting to try fasting for the first part of the day (no breakfast or lunch) for the following week. I've done this on my days off before and it feels great.
But I also work over 40 hours this week. I think I'm going to be exhausted and starving. Does anyone who had worked in the food industry to help me out? How do I cope with hunger and exhaustion while working?
[Discussion] DAE use a scale that measures body fat?
/u/maybeitmeansnothing
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:59:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9qzg/dae_use_a_scale_that_measures_body_fat/
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I just got a FITINDEX scale off amazon ($26) and when you use it with the app it sends other info like body fat % through Bluetooth. Idk how accurate it is but now it’s given me a new goal of lowering my % on top of lowering the lbs. wooooh 😂
[Rant/Rave] Getting ads for laxatives
/u/cervidaes [5’4 | CW: n o | GW: 125 | UGW: 105]
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:55:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9pt4/getting_ads_for_laxatives/
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Lately I’ve relapsed and been not eating enough after years of recovery and although I used to have bad bulimia and abused laxatives and purged a lot, even though I’ve been eating well under 900 cals per day lately I told myself I won’t go back to bulimia behaviors like that .... but it’s been on my mind as a tempting thing. Suddenly I start getting a bunch of ads for laxatives. So fuck, I guess I’m gonna go buy some and hello again bulimia!!!
Not to mention I told my boyfriend I don’t want to eat dinner today and he just shrugged and said okay if I don’t want to eat that’s fine
I kind of wish someone or something in my life wouldn’t enable my behaviors but it’s so easy for me to go back to full ED mode that it’s fucking ridiculous, even my phone is telling me to. Fuck
how do you cope with PMS
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:49:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9och/how_do_you_cope_with_pms/
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the bloating & body dysmorphia make me want to kill myself.
i have an IUD and am tempted to go on hormonal BC just so I can make this stop.
[Other] when u end up eating more than initially planned so u have to go on the walk of shame 👉🏼😎👉🏼
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 21f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🐻]
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:49:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9oca/when_u_end_up_eating_more_than_initially_planned/
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https://i.redd.it/9oblyj1n2tx11.jpg
i wish i never learned how to binge
/u/iffasting
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:46:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9nhm/i_wish_i_never_learned_how_to_binge/
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\*\*very triggering for bulimia\*\*
​
​
now every single food i look at or crave feels like a 'freebie' because my brain goes 'well its not like you're going to be digesting it' (i know some of it is absorbed through your stomach while it sits in there but, you know what i mean) i just "learned" how to binge maybe a week and a half ago and now if i can't make it more than 2 days without turning to binge/purging. and now i want to buy foods that i NEVER would have thought to eat like ice cream or chips because 'it all comes up anyway!' im just so disappointed in myself
[Discussion] DAE feel ashamed to have a high SW?
/u/oktead
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:39:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9lou/dae_feel_ashamed_to_have_a_high_sw/
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I am 5'8 and I started at 249 a little over 3 weeks ago. I am now at 239. Most people say I don't look my weight, they think I look more like 190.
I see most people with SWs of 170 and less and it just makes me feel even worse about myself - just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat.
[Rant/Rave] Bread
/u/vitaminsplz
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9k4y/bread/
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It's so annoying but i absolutely cannot control myself around bread or crunchy sugary desserts and it's h o r r i b le. Like, i'll binge on that stuff even though i get no joy out of it and i'm not hungry. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's the texture of the food?
In anycase, gum seems to help, but chewing it for hours on end has actually caused my jaw to get a bit screwed up, so i've been trying to cut back.
I Don't Know What To Title This
/u/PinkyOutYo [170cm | CW: 46.8kg | 16.1 | GW: 45 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:31:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9jsl/i_dont_know_what_to_title_this/
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Tl;Dr not really ED related I just need some help and I didn't know where else to go
Guys, I'm fucked up. I've recently just acknowledged that I belong in r/cripplingalcoholism but I do also belong here. I know that I belong here because I have a fucking eating disorder. It's just that I belong a lot of other places because I am fucked up. I'm an alcoholic. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. My entire personality is a mental illness. I'm not even a proper Borderline because I am the one out of five who can't explain it on abuse. I can't explain my alcoholism or my...bulimia? Anorexia? I don't even know what fucking eating disorder I have anymore. I have grown up in a family where my parents are disgustingly in love with each other and have been for my whole life. I've never suffered abuse of any kind. Except I may have done because CPS (is it CPS in the UK?) thought I was being abused when I was three or four. That confuses me so much. Maybe I was abused? My family have never told me exactly why CPS were involved, all I know is that it was because of men and my dad was investigated. I look and behave like I have Daddy issues but I promise you that my father has been incredible for my whole life. He's never suffered with mental illness so he hasn't necessarily responded to me the way I needed but he never, ever, responded badly.
I'm sorry, guys. This isn't specifically ED related. I'm just losing my fucking shit. I'm so scared of myself. I got made redundant and my last day was Friday and I have a job interview at half 11 tomorrow and yet I'm still up at half 1 waiting for my dad to go to bed so that I can steal a bottle of something from the kitchen. I'm going to go back and add a disclaimer to the the beginning for this. It's just that you guys are the closest I have and the closest that I have ever had to a support network. I know this isn't an ED thing it's just a mental thing. I just didn't know where else to go for help.
Why I'm Here
/u/cinnabunny0802
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:22:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9hd0/why_im_here/
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Hey everyone. I have been suffering from body dysmorphia, anorexia, and now orthorexia for almost 4 years now. I am always so conflicted about whether I should pursue recovery or not, and lately I have been with the encouragement of my boyfriend- however, I discovered today that I weigh 109 pounds, a vast difference from the 89 pounds I weighed a few years ago. I am disgusted with myself. So I'm going to lose 10 extra pounds by going on my preferred diet, the tea diet, for about a week, and then afterwards not eat as much as I have been lately. Working at a Subway restaurant really has not been helping my case, but I quit, so now I can pursue a job in retail or something where I'm not always surrounded by tempting food. Wish me luck everyone!
[Rant/Rave] ate like shit this whole weekend
/u/arthroego [20F 🍄 -44 🍄 36 left]
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:20:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9gw6/ate_like_shit_this_whole_weekend/
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ugh. i just need to scream to the void everything i ate this fucking weekend. cw for mass amounts of shitty junk food.
so idk what started this, mix of seasonal depression kicking back up plus food related obligations with friends And having to eat twice a day bc this fckn antibiotic im on for a UTI. my waist went from 26.8 inches to 29 in 3 days and i havent dared to step on the scale since im also constipated as fuck. im so uncomfortably full and i hate myself. felt like crying all fucking day and 2 guys who have screwed me over in the past walked by me walking back from 7/11 shoving food in my mouth like a fucking animal. this always happens the day i reach a gw. bye 135 i guess lmao with all the junk food weight im probably back up to the 140s lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooo im gonna weigh myself after a 24 hour water fast at 8 pm tomorrow and see what the damage is.
since friday night ive eaten
12 oz of pasta w a shitload of ketchup and pasta sauce
large artisan grilled sandwich meal from mcdonalds
eggs in a basket from dennys complete with cheesy hash browns
an entire bottle of wine
a large bowl of pho
a shitload of cheez its
a big bag of fruit snacks
one of those lorge blueberry muffins from starbucks
toooooons of those vitamin c hard candies
1550 on friday, 2260 on saturday, 2590 today.
my average for the week is still under maintenance. objectively, i know ill still lose weight this week/not gain that much from it, esp if i do one or two 24 hour fasts this week or a 48-72 hour one. but this food in my stomach, fuck. i fucked up my back sleeping on the couch so i cant run or work out and im so nauseous. i want to die but i also dont want to die fat lmao
im trying to see some positives
none of the food i ate seemed That good, like worth the calories, and i satisfied some long standing cravings ive had only to be disappointed - should be easier to stave off wanting them for the next few weeks
i started being constipated thursday and i think im about to have a BM because of this so hell yeah for that
no day over 3000 which is a pleasant surprise
6400 eaten in 3 days, tdee ~1700 so 5100 in 3 days = 1300 excess, not even half a pound. i can erase this deficit easily w one 24 hour fast and get fully back on track with another 24 or 48 hr one.
wasnt as compulsive, i still made overall better choices. like i picked beef jerky and a smaller bag of cheez its than a box of cheez its and a pint of ice cream like i wanted. eggs in a basket was less than the french toast slam i rlly wanted. grilled chicken burger still better than beef or fried chicken burger. i really did enjoy the pho even tho i got a larger size. i did eat wayy too much pasta but at least i measured it so i know.
didnt purge or attempt to
didnt get blackout drunk
got to hang with some old friends i hadnt seen in a while and didnt cancel so i wouldnt have to eat
but fuck. i dont wanna be Seen in public until i shit my brains out and the dulcolax in my closet is calling my name :(((((((( but to everyone else who had a bingey weekend we can get back from this !!! itll be ok !!!! we arent gross !!! even if i feel like i am and want to die !!!
I went to the cinema today, bought my friend popcorn and i didn’t eat any
/u/realityisgone
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9g9s/i_went_to_the_cinema_today_bought_my_friend/
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I felt really accomplished
Ive never had much self control and its getting so much easier now to just not eat
I went out and bought it for her in the middle of the movie, i could have even taken one piece on the way back in because no one would see me but i didnt!
I kmow it doesnt sound like much but its such an accomplishment for me :)
She also had chocolate and i didnt buy any, i just drank water the whole time and it made me really happy
I'm getting addicted to exercise
/u/clapyourhandsaywoo [1.58 | 51 | 5 ]
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:14:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9f8n/im_getting_addicted_to_exercise/
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It's currently 2am and I can't sleep because I feel the need to follow another workout video even though I've already done 3 in the last couple hours.
I'm crying not only because my belly and thights hurt like hell even when I'm just laying on the floor but also because I'm panicking over the though that I'll gain muscle.
I don't want to look healthy in any way. I want to look as sick as possible, as awful as it sounds, and if I gain muscle it might make me more depressed over my body than I already am.
[Rant/Rave] Trying to recover but I'm gaining a lot of weight and regretting my decision.
/u/eca3c4
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:08:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9ds8/trying_to_recover_but_im_gaining_a_lot_of_weight/
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4 months ago I've decided to stop purging and to try exercising more than I used to. I eat under 1800cal per day and I bike to go to school, it's around 12km per day. A week ago I gave up on going to the gym twice a week (because I'm on my finals and I work, so I don't really have the time for it), I've gained around 2kg in these last months and I'm feeling disgusting. I can't really starve myself and I don't want to start purging again because my throat is fucked up from vomiting in these last 6 years.
I don't know what to do and I'm so exhausted, I've been fat for my whole life and I don't think I can ever be thin.
[Help] Kitchen thinspo/quotes?
/u/dukebailey
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:07:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9ddy/kitchen_thinspoquotes/
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Does anyone put thinspo or quotes around the kitchen to keep yourself on track? If so, please share! Have been thinking about doing so to prevent binging..
[Intro] An unfortunate/fortunate hello
/u/d1a2n3a4
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:03:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9c8d/an_unfortunatefortunate_hello/
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Hello, forgive me if I'm doing all of this wrong. I'm new and would love to gain a community! I'm just gonna tell my story because nobody else really wants to hear it and I just want to be validated and listened to tbh ):
I've always overeaten. I remember in high school eating epic amounts of food constantly. Always. I dieted here and there and yo-yo'd weight a couple times. (TMI) I remember eating so much that I would just barf...but then go back up for seconds. As a result...I ballooned. Then, I got in a long term relationship and we dieted together for a while. He lost substantially more weight than me (think double or more), but then we both quit. I noticed that I always ate faster and more than him despite him being way taller and way heavier. We'd go to dinner and eat, then I would eat snacks the second we got home. So I packed on pounds fast.
I got so miserable with myself that our sex life was ruined. I hated my body. I eventually stopped binging and jumped into heavy restricting. I got my first job (that wasn't in-house babysitting) and worked 45 hr work weeks, so I just didn't eat at work and it lead me to OMAD and fasting, so I dropped 65 lbs in the first couple months of my job.
I fasted poorly and ended up in the hospital with Arrhythmia. Take them electrolytes and lay off the caffiene, my dudes. So, to counteract this, I binged because I was scared. So now I'm up 10 lbs again. Great. I was under 200 for the first time in years, now i'm back.
My boyfriend won't bring it up -- he's scared and doesn't understand. I'm not angry with him, he doesn't know how to handle this kind of thing. My best friend is wonderful, but she doesn't understand why this ED is so painful -- she is constantly asking for tips on how to fast and restrict like I did even though she knows it was an ED. She thinks its the answer to all her weight problems. She doesn't understand that it reminds me of how crappy I am.
Long rant over. I'm sorry to write so much. I honestly just want people to talk to and help on how to stop eating until I can't move. Thanks xx
[Rant/Rave] on the origin
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 135 | GW 120]
Created: Sun Nov 11 18:01:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9buz/on_the_origin/
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so I was thinking, yet again, at how infuriating the idea of people looking at me and going "oh she lost all that weight and got an eating disorder" is. because I'm very happy that I've lost weight, the screaming in my head about food is quieter than ever, and I want people to trust my health and weight loss advice. Whenever I imagine someone saying I got an ED I want to scream that it's always been there.
It's not that I lost weight and wasn't satisfied - I always wanted to be noticeably thin. I just couldn't make it happen.
​
but I do have to ask myself where the symptoms came from
and I think it's that once I dealt with my depression/anxiety to an extent (enough to be functional and motivated), all the "disordered" thoughts were like "oh baby it's my time to shine"
I literally remember the moment I downloaded MFP because for a while I was worried that it would lead to an obsession. I told myself "you're already obsessed, this will just be a better kind." I was right.
I always thought these things I was just too afraid to express them because could you imagine a fat girl saying that she doesn't like that she eats? that it makes her feel like an animal? that she feels like she shouldn't want to? laughable. but now that I'm not fat? "lmao I don't eat"
The man I love just told me he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because of my eating disorder.
/u/jalapenosarelife
Created: Sun Nov 11 17:58:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w9azn/the_man_i_love_just_told_me_he_doesnt_want_to/
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He’s known for the 5 years we have been on and off for. I’m done trying to get better. I’m just done. This is the end.
[Help] Lose it
/u/msnormanmaine
Created: Sun Nov 11 17:45:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w97tj/lose_it/
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Can someone who uses lose it to track explain if I should include my exercise in my calories for the day? Sometimes I do when I overeat but I don’t like too. I’m not sure I understand the effect.
Is it ok to include it or does it affect my deficit help I’m bad at math
[Rant/Rave] Fuck summer
/u/dikeid
Created: Sun Nov 11 17:45:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w97nr/fuck_summer/
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It's summer here, so it's already reaching 30C (86F for all you northern hemisphere folks). In the next few weeks temps will just keep rising.
The ONLY outfit I am okay with being seen in consists of baggy pants, oversized shirt, and this ridiculously oversized black coat.
Y'all. I'm dying.
I thought that if I hit my GW, then I could finally wear shorts or even (GASP) a bikini and actually enjoy summer but now I just hate myself even more for still having an ass but otherwise looking like a lumpy turd. I hate this. I hate it so much.
All I want in the world is to get rid of this FUCKING ass. I dont want to be THICCC or whatever it is called nowadays I just want to have pin legs. Thats it. Thats all i ever wanted and instead Ive ruined my life, alienated myself, and am ashamed to be seen in public inhabiting a physical body.
Fuck everything. It just feels like a horrible endless cycle of hating myself no matter what I weigh. I hate being female, i hate LOOKING female from the back. Ughhhhhhhh rant over. A gold award to anyone who made it this far lmao
[Help] No satisfaction from binges?
/u/Dreaming_Lightly
Created: Sun Nov 11 17:27:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w92ya/no_satisfaction_from_binges/
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So I just had a binge, (not in the sense of high in calories, but more uncontrolled eating in hopes to find some sort of joy) and I had around 380 calories worth of chocolate. Generally, chocolate is suppose to make anyone feel better because it stimulates dopamine, but I got zero satisfaction from having it. If anything, I felt even worse because the chocolate wasn’t even good!
I need some advice on how to feel better without binging or how to binge well enough to feel temporary relief. Anything would help honestly...
[Rant/Rave] Celestial seasonings Holliday teas run my ass
/u/definitely-not-julie
Created: Sun Nov 11 17:22:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w91ms/celestial_seasonings_holliday_teas_run_my_ass/
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Straight up.
Sugar cookie sleigh ride steeped for like 10 minutes with some fake sugar and 1/2 teaspoon of half and half tastes like a real ass sugar cookie. I drink tea in giant bowl mugs and because it’s just so much volume and warm it makes me feel full and like I just had an actual treat for 10 calories
Honorable mention to Carmel Apple dream! So good with a little fake sugar.
I can’t wait to try their sweet plum flavor next!
My internal struggle every time I eat an Altoid mint
/u/froggyleggy
Created: Sun Nov 11 17:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8z9z/my_internal_struggle_every_time_i_eat_an_altoid/
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https://imgur.com/a/shQ9hu3
almost fainted
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Sun Nov 11 17:05:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8ws0/almost_fainted/
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i was feeling a little bit lightheaded after skipping lunch but i thought it was normal since i felt that way before but a couple of hours later when i was leaving for work i felt it stronger, like i was lighter than ever BUT i thought "well thats cool this fast is working"
anyway fast forward i get out of the bus and start walking to my job when i feel my heart pound very heavily and i could barely breath, i was very dizzy too and i got scared tbh
i remembered there was a gas station on the corner so i went there wanting to eat fruit but i couldn't find any and the "healthiest" choice was some chestnuts cookies that im eating now, it doesnt say in the packaging the calories and im freaking out about it but also i dont want to die so yeah, there's that
i guess ill have to either shorten the fasts or eat little during the day, maybe ill restrict again idk but this has happened before too and i dismissed it and it lead to the hospital. I dont want that shit again.
Well thats it, hope y'all have/had a good day, stay safe!
[Rant/Rave] When binges take over....
/u/shamefulanon
Created: Sun Nov 11 16:39:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8ppn/when_binges_take_over/
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I was sad my SO was going out of town for the weekend but the silver lining was I could plan my food, weigh it & know exactly how many calories I was eating. I usually only use the food scale for baking & portioning large things of meat.. not for knowing exact portion sizes bc he would think I’m crazy
Well, I was looking forward to doing it last night.. and I just ended up bingeing bc I was upset and ate wayyyyyy more than I would have normally eaten. Now I’m upset again tonight so I’m sure it’s all gonna go down hill again
Why am I like this
DAE not eat healthy?
/u/homestuckintraffic [5'7 | SW/CW: 200 | GW: 120 | He/They]
Created: Sun Nov 11 16:26:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8mck/dae_not_eat_healthy/
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I hate almost every healthy food known to man (except fruit, I love fruit) and love junk food. I don't see the point of forcing myself to eat food I hate, so I don't. I only eat junk food, but in tiny amounts.
Does anyone have a punishment/reward system?
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Sun Nov 11 16:19:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8kg3/does_anyone_have_a_punishmentreward_system/
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I often focus more on punishment than reward and my punishments are not healthy. I have a lengthy history of self-harm so usually my punishments are either hurting myself or purging extensively. Does anyone have a 'healthy' way they punish themselves, one thats more motivating than harmful?
[Other] I just b/p for the first time
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Sun Nov 11 16:17:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8js2/i_just_bp_for_the_first_time/
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First only water came out. And then it was food. I didn't purge a lot bc my cat entered the bathroom and I got scared...
But damn, I might do it again... I feel sick now so I don't think I'm eating anything today or tomorrow. Might end the binging cycle I'm stuck in...
[Help] Does anyone know how many calories there are in Nandos mayonnaise?
/u/wristsPlz [F 5'10" | CW:130.5 | GW:125 | BMI:18.7]
Created: Sun Nov 11 16:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8ivy/does_anyone_know_how_many_calories_there_are_in/
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I feel so picky asking this but. It's my sister's birthday on friday and we're going to Nandos. I'm ordering the sweet potato and butternut burger (got to plan ahead!!!) but I can't eat eggs or dairy so no mayo. Does anyone know the calorie difference between mayo and no mayo? Feels ridiculous but it scares me not knowing. I'll probably just knock 10 calories off if I can't find out but yeah, if anyone has any idea then I would really appreciate it. It's going to be a stressful enough food day as it is haha
Love you all, stay safe x
My size 0 is meaningless
/u/SpiritedStrawberry [5'0'' | CW 106 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w8c49/my_size_0_is_meaningless/
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Being size 0 is meaningless because of my height. It's normal for short girls to be a smaller size, size 0 is average and attainable. My size 0 is meaningless.
I have naturally narrow hips and broad shoulders, so of course my pant size is smaller than my top. My size 0 is meaningless.
I'm 106 pounds, my BMI is still in the 20's. I still objectively look chunky. My size 0 is meaningless. But where is there to go from here?
I decided to treat myself to junk food and it arrived COLD and DISGUSTING!!
/u/dostoyefski [5'5" | SW:129 | CW:123.5 | GW:110]
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:32:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w86vo/i_decided_to_treat_myself_to_junk_food_and_it/
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I’m filled with crappy pizza and regret
It was so expensive and so many calories
Why can’t I purge?????????
Brb going to go and exercise for the rest of my life
[Rant/Rave] Rant/advice about depression and binge cycle
/u/chryckzero
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:30:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w868a/rantadvice_about_depression_and_binge_cycle/
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I lost a close family member back in June and I thought I was handling it well. However, for the last few weeks I have been extremely depressed about it and I cannot stop eating. I am eating everything in sight. Hungry or not. Even as Im completley stuffed, I keep eating. I'm stuck in this binge cycle and have gained a good fifteen pounds in about three weeks (putting me about 10 lbs way from my highest weight ever and only able to fit into leggings). Part of me doesn't even care about the weight gain and just wants to keep eating to stop the sadness.
As of today Ive gone through my house and thown out all of my easily accessable food leaving just protein shakes, diet soda, and dry rice but still cant kick wanting to eat everything. Im constantly internet shopping on instacart and grubhub, filling up the cart with all the food I want, and then closign the tab. The only thing keeping me from running to the store right now and buying a ton of junk food is the fact that money is super tight.
How do I kick this need to fill this sadness with food? How do I stop replacing sad thoughts with food? Or what do I eat that will satisfy it?
[Other] I didn’t know two of my favorite foods were also super low cal, so guess what I gorged myself on today l o l....and yes that’s an ENTIRE lil baby shrimp 35 piece platter lmfao
/u/crashbandiclit [23F | 5’4” | CW: 🍔 | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w83ta/i_didnt_know_two_of_my_favorite_foods_were_also/
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https://i.redd.it/voghe03m1sx11.jpg
[Goal] Down 10 lbs!
/u/OTSonny
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:20:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w83am/down_10_lbs/
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140 to 130 ~ not much of a difference but my clothes aren’t as tight anymore, I’m 1/4 of the way to my goal!
ive dropped 6 pounds from being sick??
/u/annxiouss
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:13:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w817x/ive_dropped_6_pounds_from_being_sick/
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this is fucking amazing. i will keep all of this weight off and lose more.
[Discussion] Hey everyone, grab your light butter, 100 cal popcorn and gather round!
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:12:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w80vd/hey_everyone_grab_your_light_butter_100_cal/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/fasting/comments/9w50vr/fasting_was_originally_religious_and_now_im/?utm_source=reddit-android
[Rant/Rave] It's only 20 more calories FOR FUCKS SAKE.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | Not yet my final form | Male]
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:11:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w80rr/its_only_20_more_calories_for_fucks_sake/
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The oatmeal I get is 130 calories for "1/3 cup dry (35 grams)". It's got flax seeds and bran, and I always think the calorie count is too good to be true; 1/3 cup is quite a lot, and most plain oatmeal is \~160. But whatever, I've been measuring out a 1/3 cup and counting it as 130. Out of curiosity, I decided to actually weigh it, and go figure, it's 40 grams, works out to 150 calories.
Eating disorder is literally freaking the FUCK out. 150 seems like SO much more than "only" 130, my bowls of oatmeal have been 270 (nearly 300!) instead of a measly 250. Are these oats no longer a safe food? I've been having them every single day for months now. Fuuuuu....
Also non-disordered me is aware of how utterly insignificant 20 calories is. My body would not even register that as energy. I'm still at less than 1000kcal/day this week, and before that, I've clearly been in enough of a deficit to have my doctor and dietitian on my ass. An extra 20 calories a day is NOTHING.
Ugh, the thoughts, man.
[Rant/Rave] When Mother Nature betrays you.
/u/LumosErin
Created: Sun Nov 11 15:00:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7xbu/when_mother_nature_betrays_you/
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I hit a new goal weight: 116 on the dot! Yay!
However today I noticed I felt more crampy than usual and my birth control pills are down to the Placebo week so I figured I’d check my tracker app.
It starts tomorrow. BITTTTTTTCH I hit a new GW and you’re gonna hit me *now* with the PMS bullshit?
Not to mention next Thursday (week) is going to be a very *trying* time for us?
🙄
[Rant/Rave] Target Shopping
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 148 | 25.4 | -92 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:43:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7sdu/target_shopping/
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I finally summoned the courage to buy things in my actual size because I’m having a shingles outbreak and need to keep my arms covered to protect my daughter.
I wear a S now. What the fuck. I’m not small. I’m not. The fact that my dress size (6) is considered small is mind-boggling. It makes as much sense as waking up to everyone in my life insisting that the sky is actually green. The fact that I am a size 6 is insane in itself. Sizes are just liars now.
The fact that the goalposts keep moving closer in terms of clothing sizes makes me question reality altogether. How am I supposed to know when I’m actually small if clothing companies are just making shit up now?
I feel like my skin is crawling. I want to stay home and crawl under my covers. I thought wearing smaller sizes would feel like an accomplishment but it feels like the universe is straight-up lying to me. Like I’m being condescended to.
[Help] Does fasting give you headaches?
/u/Cabbagepatchkitty
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7ota/does_fasting_give_you_headaches/
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I’m trying to get back into IF because I’ve gained some weight.
The other day, I was fasting and had a headache all day. Tylenol didn’t help.
What do you guys do for headaches?
[Help] McCafé breakfast blend coffee calories!
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:30:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7o9y/mccafé_breakfast_blend_coffee_calories/
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It says it’s 0 calories but is that legit or not? It’s 0 for black coffee is this true?
McCafé breakfast blend coffee.
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:27:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7nlw/mccafé_breakfast_blend_coffee/
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It says it’s 0 calories but is that legit or not? It’s 0 for black coffee is this true?
Alcohol is acceptable calorie binging ?
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:24:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7miu/alcohol_is_acceptable_calorie_binging/
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You ever notice how it's ok to drink ridiculous amounts of calories in public with no shame or guilt of the calories? It's weird. Bars are similar to me like food eating competitions????
Clearly food surplus won't give you health problems as fast or a DUI but still...
Sorry. Just in a weird spot and figured it's ok here. As I debate these unhealthy liquid calorie binge myself.
[Discussion] For those who have have relapsed after a long time, what is different about your ED now from before?
/u/6sixofspades66 [5ft 5.5in | CW 147 |-17 |F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:13:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7jdg/for_those_who_have_have_relapsed_after_a_long/
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I am just curious since mine has changed so much over time. When I started at 17, I was pretty bulimic (b/p cycle) non stop. I recovered after a few years. And now, 5 years later, I have relapsed but this time I don't binge. It is all restricting under 1000c a day, and heavy restricting under 500c.
Anyone else have similar experiences?
[Discussion] At what point did you notice weight loss in your face?
/u/thirteencat [5'3.5" | CW: 106 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:09:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7i2k/at_what_point_did_you_notice_weight_loss_in_your/
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And did anyone experience weight loss in their face last? Asking because I’ve always had chubby cheeks that don’t seem to disappear even after a 20 lb loss lol.
[Help] Realistic waist size
/u/3-months-to-45
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:07:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7hgr/realistic_waist_size/
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Hiya,
I'm currently 52-53kg, 165cm, and have a waist of 65 cm. My current goal weight is to be comfortably under 50 kg, which realistically means 48ish to 50, and a 60-62 cm waist. Here's the deal. I hate my waist. I have a small bust already, and similarly sized hips, and my waist is always the one part of me that seems so goddamn.... broad. I know from some research that 1 cm is lost with every 1.5 kg. I understand that everyone's body is different, and that it's likely my wider waist is just genetic, but can anyone tell me if that goal is completely unrealistic or not? I just... need a bit of clarity, from someone outside my hellhole of a brain.
[Discussion] Global Fasting Week
/u/ImmediateAlien [5'3 | 104.7 lbs | GW 99 lbs | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 14:07:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7hfz/global_fasting_week/
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Anybody else fasting during the Global Fasting Week? It’s this event happening Nov 12 - Nov 16, with the goal of promoting the health benefits of fasting and whatnot. Ofc I’m using it as an excuse and hoping to lose this final 10 fucking lbs.
Weight loss then gain.
/u/Myrix10101
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:59:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7eyr/weight_loss_then_gain/
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I spent two months losing 10 pounds. Then I gained it back in three weeks. So yay.
Stopping going to places after being recognized as a regular
/u/SpiritedStrawberry [5'0'' | CW 106 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:57:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w7ehq/stopping_going_to_places_after_being_recognized/
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Does anybody else feel an extreme level of shame or embarrassment after becoming a regular at food places?
I was doing relatively well at eating normally/trying to "recover", and I'd been going to a Jimmy John's location once or twice a week (which I really feel like isn't that often). The last time I went in, the guy at the counter gave me my order on the house because "I see you here all the time".
It should have been a nice gesture and I should have felt happy about it, but instead I felt like wanting to cry because I was recognized at being somewhere all the time. I haven't gone back since (it's been about a month), but instead I've been in a massive b/p cycle and I've been going to the grocery store every 2 or 3 days. I dread being recognized as a regular there too. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I care so much what people think?
[Rant/Rave] I miss people getting concerned over how little I ate
/u/fragilmountain [5'6”|CW: 180|BMI: 29|GW:120]
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:38:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w78oc/i_miss_people_getting_concerned_over_how_little_i/
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Does this make me an awful person?
I remember one time over the summer when I took some of my friends out for ice cream; while everyone got large sizes or milkshakes, I sat there with my kids cup, low fat ice cream (80! calories). Everyone kept questioning if that’s all I really wanted and they kept offering me some of their food! Another time I had breakfast with a friend and all I ate was one slice of plain toast. She was shocked that I didn’t want anything else. Now that I’ve raised my calorie goal a bit (from 300 to ~800), it seems like there’s nothing for people to be concerned over. But I miss it. I don’t even know why. I guess just the thought of people caring about me? Some days I want to lower my goal again just for the comments. It makes me feel icky.
[Tip] A less than 800 cal meal for my OMAD at Famous Dave’s. Was so full up I actually felt uncomfortable. You CAN eat out and meet your cal goals. Also timing your OMAD so you don’t get hungry again is important. Two diet pepsi, corn cob, potato salad, saltines and a bowl of chili. 798cals.
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w76qr/a_less_than_800_cal_meal_for_my_omad_at_famous/
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https://i.redd.it/94d6m952irx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I can see how binge/purging can get addicting
/u/Precaso
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:30:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w769t/i_can_see_how_bingepurging_can_get_addicting/
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So after I had a sort-of-successful weight loss, I developed a pretty bad binge eating disorder. I gained some weight back and was furious with myself and it was a constant battle of willpower to not binge. But recently I've began purging and it has made everything a lot easier to deal with right now. I can stop fighting this battle in my head and give in to catch a break. At the same time, I'm slightly scared. 👀
Dropped 5 pounds and i just started
/u/throw_away2778
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:20:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w72w5/dropped_5_pounds_and_i_just_started/
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2 days ago, i’m feeling more confident but somehow less happy. I feel this journey will be worth it
I feel in control when i restrict what i eat and when I exercise, but at the same time i feel like i have no control at all
/u/realityisgone
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:05:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6yha/i_feel_in_control_when_i_restrict_what_i_eat_and/
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Like it feels like im controlling something you know? Im restricting calories and doing exercise, but its in excess now
I cant stop? I nearly fainted today because i ate about 50 calories then worked out for about 2 hours and couldn’t stop
I seem to be getting worse every day but i havent told anyone in my life about it, i dont know if its concerning enough or not
Its scary but i feel like im in charge of something in my life for once
I dont even know why im posting this im just kind of confused with myself
ED nightmares!
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: too high | GW: too low | -45lb | M21]
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:05:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6y9h/ed_nightmares/
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Last night I dreamed that I was on a road trip with my family and we stopped at a gas station for snacks. I went to get diet coke, but they only had the medium sized bottles and the nutritional label said 78 calories. And I knew normal bottles and 2L were both 0, but for some reason the middle size was 78, and they only had the middle size. And I started panicking, wondering if I'd misread the label all these years and diet coke actually always had 78 calories.
And then my subconscious moved on, ad I forgot about it until I got up this morning and grabbed a diet coke, and almost choked mid-swig when my brain shouted "wait! There's 78 calories in that!"
I'm assuming nightmares about ED stuff is pretty common. Anybody have ones they want to share?
[Goal] Didn’t think I’d be so happy about this...fitting into child’s clothing better than adult sizes now
/u/dooniedorko
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:04:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6y63/didnt_think_id_be_so_happy_about_thisfitting_into/
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Like the title says. Holy shit. I used to wear adult mediums- now a child’s medium fits me, and is even a lil baggy on me. I don’t know if it’s unhealthy how happy I am about this.
I don't know how to eat normally anymore...
/u/yuseirious
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:04:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6y3d/i_dont_know_how_to_eat_normally_anymore/
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Okay so sometime last year, life was so stressful that I began emotionally eating. I would binge constantly on snacks and ended up gaining a ton of weight, reaching about 70kg. And then at the start of this year, I was tired of it all and decided I needed to change, so I started calorie counting.
In the beginning, I was just substituting out processed foods with whole foods and incorporating healthy foods into my diet. I didn't really properly count calories and kind of just guessed and put in random amounts. But it was going really well, overtime my cravings for junk vanished and I was just feeling overall happier and better about everything, and I even started exercising which I had never done before. So I was eating healthily and cooking more, feeling happier and exercising more. It was great. I didn't really think I changed much in terms of looks, but one day I stepped on the scale and noticed I was 55kg. I had lost 15kg in a few months without even trying (I'm a 163cm tall female btw). And then... it all went downhill.
I started to get really obsessed with my weight. I thought if it was so easy to lose weight, I wanted to lose more weight and look "beautiful" like all those celebrities (kpop idols) I saw on screen. So I started restricting. I cut out everything I considered bad, including nuts, oil, anything I considered "unnecessary calories" and I was hardly eating. There would be days when I would eat 3 bowls of porridge and maybe a fruit if I felt like it, so it wasn't much food at all. I started to exercise excessively and I would weigh myself over 10 times a day and I would feel so accomplished and satisfied as the reading on the scale dropped. I slowly started to lose my life and ended up reaching an all-time low weight of 44kg.
Then I realised I had developed an eating disorder (and body dysmorphia). It was probably anorexia tbh. This was only last month btw. So I decided I needed to break out of this before I lost more of my life. And then I started binging. I binged on sooooo much food, everything I had restricted before, and literally felt like I was a different person. I've heard this is normal in anorexia recovery, so I pushed through it and ate and ate and ate until the cravings finally started to stop and I had more control of my diet again.
And now I'm here... So lost and empty. I've reached a weight of 52kg now and I've been maintaining this weight without even worrying about the food I eat, I'm not sure if this is my natural set weight. But anyway, I have no idea what to eat anymore. Since I don't crave food anymore, I look at all these foods on the table and just feel so empty? Like I don't want to eat any of it. I used to love chocolate but when I eat it now it gives me no enjoyment. Pizza and kebab and other fast-food that I used to love don't satisfy me anymore... So I thought maybe I was sick of them and wanted to eat healthier foods that nourish my body, but I don't know what foods to eat. I had some chicken breast with broccoli and rice today which I used to love, but again, after eating it I still felt so empty. Whenever I think about eating healthier food it gives me memories of my anorexia and scares the heck out of me. I literally don't enjoy eating food anymore and I have no idea what to do? I'm not sure if I'm depressed or just stressed or something, but if I am it would mainly be about food because that's all I've been worrying about and concerned about all this time. I've completely neglected uni and work because of these thoughts and feelings. Maybe I still have disordered thoughts or something and I think eating "healthy" is like dieting again and that scares me. But honestly eating anything will be healthier than all that crap I had been binging on this past month so I don't know why I would be concerned about that. I just don't understand why I've lost all interest and enjoyment in food?
Just to mention I've also lost enjoyment in just about everything in life right now but I feel like it stems from my eating and lack of interest in food, which used to be a huge part of my life when I was "dieting".
So tl;dr: used to binge, went on diet, developed anorexia, recovering and now idk what or how to eat because I don't enjoy food anymore
[Rant/Rave] Shitty weekend. Shitty party. Lotta shitty venting
/u/throwawaymyfeelingsk [6'1|M|CW:199]
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:02:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6xle/shitty_weekend_shitty_party_lotta_shitty_venting/
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Long shitty post ahead by a shitty person. I just feel the need to vent but there’s not a single person irl that I can talk to. Probably going into too much detail and coming off judgmental af, but it’s not like anyone’s going to actually read this bs, especially someone who could identify me.
Started on Friday. A friend of mine (I’ll call him Chris) was having a birthday party Saturday night, so I offered to make a cake for the event because I figured he wouldn’t have one otherwise. After spending about $40 on ingredients, I use all Friday afternoon and evening to make this several layer cake that would hopefully not turn out shit despite me not having all the equipment I’d ideally use. Obviously, I fuck up in several ways, but I taste it along the way to make sure it is at least edible. I absolutely fuck up the very last layer, and I do my best to salvage the situation so the cake isn’t entirely a waste. Stress levels go through the roof as I pray to whatever deity there is that I didn’t just make my 7 hours of work useless.
Being around 5 days into a fast though, working with and tasting such an abomination of sugar and fat is a dangerous game, one that I pushed myself into. Add the stress of my abysmal cooking skills, and I was already feeling strong binge urges. I scramble 2 eggs plain in the hopes of curbing what could be disastrous, but they are not satisfying nor filling. Next thing I know I’m at the grocery store a bit before midnight buying a pack of bagels, 2 containers of pimento cheese, and laxatives. Before driving home, I take a couple minutes to cry in my parked car because I’m a human train wreck.
I add a shit ton of absurdly spicy hot sauce to the pimento cheese, spread it on the first bagel, and begin eating like the animal I am. After finishing it, I realize my stomach is not at all big enough to fit all this, so I head to the bathroom to purge. 15-20 minutes of grueling pain, I realize how bad of an idea purging bagels and hot sauce is, so I switch to chewing and spitting the rest. I initially attempt to watch Netflix while doing so, but due to allergies and the previous purging, I am covered in mucus and now slobbering all over myself. I take my foods to the bathroom and finish C&S the rest directly into the toilet while looking like an absolute mess. I purge once more to get anything I swallowed accidentally (pretty sure one of my roommates heard this whole thing), then take about half of all the laxative I got because I’d hate to be bloated for the party. Finally head to sleep around 2 AM, waking up every 30-40 minutes to shit my brains out of course.
My bowels start to calm down at about 10, and I begin to start making my arrangements for today despite feeling like burning garbage and desperately wanting to bail on the party. A good friend of mine (Samuel) who was also heading to the party was initially going to give me a ride, but after texting him, he was apparently far too hungover from his date the night before to do so early enough, since we were planning on going out to play Pokemon Go. Samuel informs me that Chris can give me a ride, so I text him and Chris brings me to his place to drop off the cake. We go to Subway for Chris to get lunch before we meet another guy (Jerry) at the park. While ordering, he casually mentions to the worker how he never sees me eat (today was no exception), and I just try to act casual like I didn’t even notice.
Chris, Jerry, and I walk around the local park for about 3 hours in absolutely frigid weather (shaking for most of the time) where we eventually meet up with Samuel and head to another fast food joint before going back to Chris’s place. Fairly uneventful, just me freezing and thankfully getting to walk a bit for this time. Once at Chris’s place though, it doesn’t take long at all for alcohol to be brought out. Samuel, Chris, and Jerry all start drinking something, while I head to the back porch to smoke a bit of weed because I’m a sloppy drunk yet don’t want to be the only sober one. More drinks are poured (almost exclusively for Chris) and things go smoothly for a while. Chris’s roommate (who seems to be on the autism spectrum based on how he interacted with everybody) and a couple that Chris has known for several years arrive, and everyone generally seems to be enjoying themselves.
Chris drinks a LOT more liquor while most everybody else takes it slowly and sticks mostly to beer. The alcohol starts to hit him and he is clearly drunk at this stage, so he decides it a good time to break out the cake. I comment about how badly I most likely fucked up as he and his roommate each grab a slice (nobody else was interested). Chris seemed to enjoy it somewhat, but he was incredibly intoxicated and basically drunk binging at this point on anything he could reach. The roommate said it seemed like it didn’t have any sugar in it, and asked if anybody else wanted it. I did my best to brush it off and told him he could throw it away if he didn’t want it, since I know I fucked up anyway (still stung cause it tasted scary sweet to me when I was making it, but maybe I’ve just gotten more sensitive to sugar idk). Jerry and the roommate kept to themselves mostly, while the rest of the group moved to the kitchen table.
Chris was now clearly far too drunk, and he began munching on all available snacks. He started talking trash about the couple that was present and how both of them could probably do better. Samuel and I cut Chris off at this point and get him to drink strictly water for the time being. Chris drunk texts some of his contacts and also shares many things that should not have been mentioned. First that comes to mind is that the husband of another mutual friend not present had been cheating on her. He speaks about how she’s in a failing marriage anyway, and was definitely still attractive enough to “get it” from him. I know he was also drunk texting her rather inappropriate things that probably almost (if not entirely) destroyed any friendship they have with one another. Realizing this, I encourage him to keep his phone away (didn’t want to take it away cause he would probably kick my ass if I tried) and keep drinking his water. He goes on to inappropriately text what I assume was another few female friends of his before finally calming down and mostly staying away from his phone.
Around this time, the couple decides to head out for the night, and Samuel has a family emergency that sends him rushing out the door, leaving just Jerry, Chris, and me for the primary conversation. By this point it is only about 9:30 PM and Chris is still far past his limit without quite losing motor function. He goes on and on about various women he knows, what features he finds ugly or attractive, who he wanted to fuck, how easy it was for women to get laid, and how he and Jerry should go to a strip club. Basically imagine a drunk incel spewing shit from their mouth nonstop. Most of it repulsed me so I simply tried to keep my mouth shut while waiting for Chris to sober up a bit more. Jerry engaged him a bit more than I did, and even though he did say some misogynistic things himself, was clearly not as engulfed in it as Chris.
Unfortunately, Jerry also had to leave for the night after about an hour of this, leaving me alone with Chris for a while. He continues talking although a bit less since I tried to avoid engaging him on his more radical remarks, and instead got him to watch a movie on cable with me. Relatively light but painful conversation went on for 2 more hours, at which point 3 people arrived around 12:30 AM. Chris was thankfully more dumb-piece-of-shit drunk than wildly-offensive-woman-hating-suicidal drunk now, so he was able to converse without too much drama now. He had another beer despite me urging him not too, but he at least stayed away from liquor. At about 1:30 AM, the rest of them head to a bar (despite it closing at 2), and I take an uber home since I am under 21 and unable to enter with them. I text Chris making sure he got back home fine and urge him to go to sleep when he can.
Now back at my apartment in the early morning, I get the first sip of water I had all day, cry in my bathroom briefly, then pass out in my bed. I had spent the last \~12 hours with Chris, and I was physically and emotionally exhausted. Not my first time at all babysitting a drunk person, but I just wanted to relax that night after a terrible Friday night and couldn’t. On top of that, it seemed as though everyone at the party was having some sort of crisis or getting their dirty laundry aired, but I felt invisible. In the middle of a shit storm I was the one that stayed the longest to make sure Chris didn’t end up killing himself or making even more poor decisions than were already made. I’m sure he’s sending out a lot of apologies today, but I still feel like I was little more than a fly on the wall that night. He thanked me for coming out and I guess that’s that.
In spite of the past 48 hours making me feel like a rusty bucket of dirt, praise be to my lord and savior halo top, for I finally made it under 200 lbs. I’m gonna go cry on my bathroom floor for the bazillionth time.
If you actually read this word vomit, I am truly sorry.
Antidepressants and eating
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sun Nov 11 13:00:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6wr1/antidepressants_and_eating/
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I recently stopped taking my medication (I ran out and I'm such a useless piece of shit it took me ages to get the script refilled) and I notice during that time my binge eating and low motivation were out of control.
So I started again and straight away felt my appetite become more manageable.
I really hate myself at the moment and I feel glad that I have some control again. I'm so sick of this binge cycle. I saw photos of my boyfriend when he was a teenager and it triggered me. He had an eating disorder and it fucking made me jealous.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
New day tomorrow. I feel like I'm rotten inside so I'm going to restrict to distract myself.
[Help] Overweight but not losing what the cals say I should?
/u/absolutenobodyy
Created: Sun Nov 11 12:48:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6sxg/overweight_but_not_losing_what_the_cals_say_i/
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I'm technically obese (over 200lbs at 5'8", down 55 lbs in the past 5 months), but recently my weight loss has all but stopped. :/ I eat about 500-600 cals per day (I'm /very/ careful about tracking, so I know that's accurate), I work out every single day (usually running for half an hour, lifting weights for half an hour, maybe more cardio/weights if I have time), and I get at least 10k steps every day. I have one or two cheat meals/week (usually those days I still stick below 1500 cals for the day) so that I don't have some kind of mental breakdown and because recently I've been feeling the effects of too-few cals.
According to my fitbit and cals tracked, I should be losing at least 4-5 lbs/week. But recently, I've been losing only 1-2 (or none at all :/). I'm not sure what else to do at this point. I'm so frustrated because I work so hard, and I'm scared to lessen my cals because going any lower effects my work life and mental health/relationships. I'm trying to work out as much as I can, but I'm wondering if I'm doing something else wrong? I was diagnosed anorexic before, lost 160 lbs, recovered, gained it all back, and now I'm doing the same thing to try and lose it all again (with fewer cals this time. Last time I ate about 800-900 every day).
Please help, if you have any advice. :/ I'm so sick of seeing the scale inch down or stay still when it doesn't make any mathematical sense, esp since it's not like I don't have at least 100lbs to lose. :/
Can someone help me get motivation to keep going?
/u/MaZZeL3L
Created: Sun Nov 11 12:37:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6pkt/can_someone_help_me_get_motivation_to_keep_going/
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Exactly one year ago I lost about 15kg but after going 3 days without eating anything and no change in weight I became really frustrated and now a year later I'm +25kg from where I was back then. I need help
[Intro] Just stopping by to say hi!
/u/Thin_Wishes3 [5’8” | HW:145 | LW:110| GW:86| 26F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 12:36:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6pfq/just_stopping_by_to_say_hi/
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Hi guys,
Just wanted to give a basic introduction!
I truly didn’t even know there was a subreddit for ED’s, and I’m happy there is :) (saw it on ED twt)
I’m a 26 year old female, I’ve been dealing w my ED since I was 12 years old. I go thru cycles of restriction and fasting to normal eating and purging and abusing lax.
I haven’t had anything too detrimental happen to me health wise throughout all of this.
I’ve had bad dental issues, and a couple of missing and fake teeth because of it, really will never recommend or encourage purging, it destroys your mouth and keeps you looking “healthy.”
I also have a heart condition but nothing crazy. And then of course the whole vitamin deficiencies and what not.
I’ve tried recovery a few times throughout all of this, but the furthest I’ve gone with it was just therapy and at one point working with a dietician in conjunction.
I have therapy horror stories :)
I’m 5’8” my HW was 145 and my LW: 110. I’m somewhere in the middle, probably 120-123 if I had to guess but I’m not sure.
Other than ED, I work in fashion, I ride horses, and I love astrology (libra here) and love to go hiking with my dog. I also am a closet nerd and love to read, write, and play video games.
I also am extremely unhappy in my current living situation, my mom just got diagnosed w brain and lung cancer and i can’t stop butting heads with my manager lately.
Anyway that was long enough, thanks for bearing with me if you did! Looking forward to meeting everyone :)
i never want to eat again
/u/liddle_eggroll
Created: Sun Nov 11 12:26:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6mfs/i_never_want_to_eat_again/
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you ever just wanna feel the pain of starving so bad
[Rant/Rave] Losses are Gains
/u/_Pulltab_ [67"| 151.2| 23.7| -55 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 12:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6hs0/losses_are_gains/
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6 months ago I was wearing 14/16 pants and XL shirts.
Today I bought a pair of 6 sized jeans and a small flannel shirt. And they fit.
My gluttonous public persona is backfiring
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: too high | GW: too low | -45lb | M21]
Created: Sun Nov 11 12:00:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6e7s/my_gluttonous_public_persona_is_backfiring/
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I try to present an image of a person who is totally happy with their weight and body and who really loves to eat and definitely isn't scared of bread. I mostly do this by planning binges around when I'm going to be with friends, so they see me eat a lot, and sharing memes about binging and talking about that omg whooooole loaf of bread I ate, lol, carbs are so fun right?
This way I can restrict/fast in peace. Nobody worries if I've eaten or not. If I publicly skip a meal every once and a while everyone laughs it off as "oh Cassius, he probably ate a whole box of cereal before he came here!"
Except that now it's backfiring. Because people keep getting me food. Or offering me food. A lot of my friends work in food service, and they'll bring me all the leftover fries after they closed up the restaurant for the night, or they'll take a bunch of bananas and bread rolls for me from the event they just catered or whatever. I'll use being vegan as an excuse to get out of a meal I didn't plan for, and they'll go buy me oreos because they feel bad I couldn't eat the pizza or whatever and they just knooooow how hungry I must be.
So now I'm constantly being offered food! And if I take it, I know myself well enough to know I'll eat it. But if I don't take it, it's out of character enough that people get suspicious.
Fool that I am, I thought acting like I ate constantly would *stop* people from giving me food. I wanted to be praised for controlling myself when I skipped, I wanted people to tell me that maybe I'd had enough. But no! I'm surrounded by binge enablers! I've created my own hell, not constant reinforcement but constant temptation.
How do I shift this over? How do I get rid of the "loves food, give all the food" label I'm wearing around my neck without adopting "probably isn't eating enough encourage to eat more"?
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel their weight loss is the only thing they can control?
/u/FameuxCelebrite [5’6|CW: 140|GW: 120|-40 lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 11 11:54:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w6cmj/does_anyone_else_feel_their_weight_loss_is_the/
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Currently I’m jobless, my ex left me for someone else a few months ago, and I graduate next year and have no idea how to get a job in my field...Basically there’s little control in my life and it’s relaxing...? to be able to control what I eat and weigh.
I can’t control if I’m hired after a job interview, but I can make sure my weight graph continues to drop. It’s nice to have something I know is obtainable and the only obstacle is me not outside elements.
i really want to join a gym or a fitness group but i’m too embarrassed of myself
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Sun Nov 11 11:34:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w66ho/i_really_want_to_join_a_gym_or_a_fitness_group/
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like i don’t want to be the biggest one there or the youngest and the most exercise i do is just walking a few miles a day so i probably won’t be able to keep up with a class and will prob look dumb.
i wish my best friend would join me but she’s on the same boat and also doesn’t want to spend the money on it. my oldest brother goes to the gym often though so many id feel more comfortable going with him? idk. 🤦🏻♀️
[Help] Not skinny enough for help??
/u/cheesejugg
Created: Sun Nov 11 11:14:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w60gh/not_skinny_enough_for_help/
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So I had anorexia big time when I was 16-18. Full on, "if you don't put on some weight your heart is going to give out", bad. I went through outpatient 'treatment', but honestly, I don't think I ever really recovered fully. As my appetite came back I became ravenous and anorexia just turned into bulimia and eventually just plain binging. My relationship with food has been fucked ever since but since I was a \~healthy weight\~ I thought (and was told by the doctors) that everything was fine.
​
Fast forward to now, 21, in final year of college. A stressful time, friendships are poor, a lot of work to do, I'm struggling with other health things too that have stopped me from exercising and I feel like I don't really have control over my body anymore. So what creeps back in? My good old friend anorexia, who was just hibernating somewhere in my head and has come out to help me in this tough time.
​
So, being the responsible student I am and practising #selfcare, and taking on the constant advice to 'talk to someone!!' if you feel like something's wrong, I booked an appointment with the college counsellor (6 week waiting list, but at least it's free). I went through all of the past stuff, how it started, how I'm scared how fast this has all taken its grip again, how I'm trying to nip it in the bud because honestly on top of everything else, if nothing else I just don't have time for this right now.
​
And the response?
​
"You're a healthy weight so I don't think there's anything to worry about."
​
Given a pamphlet on increasing self esteem.
​
Thanks, mental health professional. There's nothing quite like being told you're not skinny enough to be taken seriously to kick an emerging eating disorder into overdrive :)
[Help] im kinda disproportionate
/u/likrot
Created: Sun Nov 11 11:03:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5x4r/im_kinda_disproportionate/
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my bodys getting a little disproportionate. my shoulders are quite a bit wider than my hips since ive been losing weight in my legs. anything, like specific work outs or something, that i can do to help me lose upper body weight?
My roommates made a comment about how I eat the same thing every day so I just bulk bought a two month supply of my safe protein bars so I can eat in my room and never use the kitchen :) :)
/u/cheesejugg
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:55:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5ul1/my_roommates_made_a_comment_about_how_i_eat_the/
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[Help] I can’t poo send help. 😣
/u/beeeleave [5’4 | 111lbs |19.60bmi |female ]
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:49:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5ssd/i_cant_poo_send_help/
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I am so constipated I seriously can’t go (like at all) I don’t know what to do! It’s painful and strenuous. I should have known not drinking enough water and restricting below 300 for weeks would do this but I’m shook. Send help please. 😫
[Rant/Rave] Having to “prove myself” in front of friends
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:48:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5sec/having_to_prove_myself_in_front_of_friends/
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My friends are all concerned about me and all comment on any food I eat or don’t eat.
help. This makes me feel so guilty lying about eating and I also feel like I’m always being watched (BECAUSE I AM)
I have to eat a lot when I’m with them but don’t want to. Ugh
Binged last night, now I'm furious with myself
/u/VengefulBodied
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:45:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5rdo/binged_last_night_now_im_furious_with_myself/
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However I am a relentless bitch, and I will rechannel this hate into a fast and working out today. Which means listening to angry music all day to keep my momentum. I know it's unconventional but if I am sad and self loathing I can't function, and since it's very hard to make myself be happy with that sad low energy I have to choose to be angry over sad. Anger I can work with, anger fuels and drives me. And I'll use that fuel to reach my body goals at any and all costs. The pain and suffering others have inflicted on me will not make me succumb anymore to sad self loathing bullshit. I've already lost too much from others, and it is my full intention to get it back by any means, and to go beyond that. You guys on this sub are some of the strongest willed people I've seen, and the lengths you go through to get your goals is inspiring. I wish you all the best of luck with your body goals, I hope you find your redemption through your journey. This process does not need to be sad, it can be empowering, it can be your great overcoming. Take care of yourselves both body wise and mind wise, they are two sides of the same coin. The two things you have total and complete power over, the two things you must guard and grow to being a force this world can't take from you.
Social anxiety vs ED anxiety hell
/u/rosecoloredidiot
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:41:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5q61/social_anxiety_vs_ed_anxiety_hell/
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Went to Starbucks today to get a gingerbread latte cause ya girl loves herself some seasonal white girl drinks. I order like normal, nonfat milk and without whip. When I get handed the drink I noticed that the barista added whip and started to panic about the extra 60 calories because we all know EDs are very rational.
And *then* I panic about asking her to remake it without whip because they're super busy and I don't want to disturb her. In the end I drank it but I just feel so shitty and wish I didn't. Or I wish I would've said something, but social anxiety and the fear of inconveniencing someone got the best of me. :/
Basic Monster photo, I know. It’s my first time trying an energy drink and I don’t know how I feel about it. Love that it’s zero calorie but it’s hard to trust
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:13:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5gx7/basic_monster_photo_i_know_its_my_first_time/
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https://i.redd.it/90xaz9ggiqx11.jpg
[Tip] PSA: Ricotta cheese is 1 cal/g
/u/PhoneWalletSanity
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5fzn/psa_ricotta_cheese_is_1_calg/
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Meaning a big ass 300 g tub is 300 calories. Mix it with 200 g of strawberries (65 cal) + stevia and a squeeze of lime and you have a gigantic, super creamy dessert for 365 calories.
Bonus: it's also really good on toast with a drizzle of honey.
My co-worker brought in donuts 😅
/u/blabberbomb [5'2 | HW: 185 | CW: 175 | GW: 120 | 25F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:07:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5f89/my_coworker_brought_in_donuts/
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I ate a little less than half of one and felt disgusting so I c/s the rest. Thank u lord for a coworker free break.
I finally managed to rly purge the other day. I was sick and so nauseous that I just felt like I NEEDED to throw up (or shit, but I went from too much shitting to not being able to shit at all in 12 hours bc my life is a joke). I have an impossible time throwing up. Even when I'm super sick, throwing up is always a big long process involving ages of nausea and dry heaving and crying over the toilet beforehand. I tried eating to see if it would push me over the edge, but instead I just felt worse. So I took my time and really tried and it worked! Def didn't purge everything up, but tbh that wasn't the real goal anyway. I dont have any interest in doing this regularly either to be clear. My teeth are expensive and jacked up already just by genetics lmao.
But now for some reason I feel super duper in control. My bf and I were busy all day yesterday and didn't eat all day so we got a bunch of sushi (my weakest weak spot) and I ate half of mine, waited a couple hours, and finished the rest when I wasn't feeling stuffed anymore.
I just don't want to feel full and gross again tbh.
I had been doing rly well and then fell off for a few weeks, but I feel like I'm back now.
[Discussion] What’s your daily meal routine like?
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:117 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 10:01:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5d8q/whats_your_daily_meal_routine_like/
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Example:
Breakfast: white monster
Lunch: apple
Dinner: no dinner
[Discussion] DAE like their face more when they fast?
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:59:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5coa/dae_like_their_face_more_when_they_fast/
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I've been noticing lately that whenever i fast i start to like my face a little bit in comparison to when i eat and i feel like its round and chubby.
Like i feel my nose a bit smaller although thats like not possible.
Idk maybe its just my brain tricking but i kinda like it more.
[Rant/Rave] Some good news after a week of being sick
/u/lilmisssuccubus [161cm | CW: 52kg |BMI: 20.1 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:55:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5bcw/some_good_news_after_a_week_of_being_sick/
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I remeasured my height after my doctor said I was 163cm and my bf said I was 159 cm. I’m 161 cm! 2 cm higher than I have been measuring my BMI and goals by! The difference isn’t huge but it makes me feel so much better.
Of course my goal weight hasn’t changed but now I am so close to having a BMI in the teens!
I feel like I'm on the verge of a relapse.
/u/chrysanthemym [🌻 she/her | cw: 134 | gw: 115 | vegan 🌻]
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:51:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5a3j/i_feel_like_im_on_the_verge_of_a_relapse/
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I feel like I'm on the verge of an eating disorder relapse and I just need some support.
Several days ago, ever since I came across that photo of an actor who I adore who was underweight, I've been feeling this deep desperate nostalgic pit in my stomach that keeps eating at me and reminding me of my disordered past of eating.
I'm not sure what else to say or what else to type other than I could desperately use some sense of support. I'm so terribly hurt and afraid right now at what I'm feeling because I so deeply wanted a holiday season where I wasn't freaking out inwardly about the amount of food I'm eating. I so deeply wanted one holiday season that isn't tainted by calorie counting, taking EC stacks and drinking absurd amounts of coffee, and denying friend outings because I was terrified of eating to much.
I just want to have one holiday season where I can actually enjoy, relax, and have fun and feel connected to the family around me without being terrified of eating too much, but I'm so afraid that's going to be messed up because I feel so immensely on the verge of a relapse.
Any at home exercise routines?
/u/wdxo7
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:50:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w59vw/any_at_home_exercise_routines/
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Hey girls! Do you know any good exercise routines on YouTube to follow? I won’t be able to hit the gym in at least two months because I’m out of a car and a tad broke, but I don’t want to loose sight of my goals 🤷🏾♀️
Any recommendations of things to do at home? Thank you!!
[Help] will i gain weight from this?
/u/likrot
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w5046/will_i_gain_weight_from_this/
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i drink like, 3 monster rehabs a day. 25 calories each, 4 grams of sugar each. logically no, but im still paranoid. does anyone know for sure?
Vegan Desserts at 50-100 cals/serving
/u/Annielizabeth319
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:17:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4zya/vegan_desserts_at_50100_calsserving/
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http://www.foodiefiasco.com/category/calorie-range/50-100/
[Other] ... or having an ED 😂
/u/Braseford [5"3.5 | CW 133 | SW152 |24F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:15:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4z9b/or_having_an_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/0437hmp68qx11.jpg
[Discussion] I told my friends about my ED
/u/BlurJAMD [5'4" | CW: 135lbs | -15lbs | M]
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:14:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4yw9/i_told_my_friends_about_my_ed/
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I guess I'll flair this as a discussion post. How did your friends/family react when you told them?
My friends had stayed over at my place, and we'd been drinking quite a bit. I'd relapsed in SH the day before so I had a lot on my mind...Right before I went to sleep I told my friends about both. They were so supportive, and have been through the same shit, but I'm so happy they know. It's like a *weight* off of my chest 😉
Site with low cal desserts, vegan options
/u/Annielizabeth319
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4y5s/site_with_low_cal_desserts_vegan_options/
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http://www.foodiefiasco.com/?s=Low+calorie+
[Rant/Rave] Thiccc
/u/0ClandestineCat0 [5’0 | CW:110 | GW:105 | 🍑KuroNyx | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:09:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4xd9/thiccc/
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While at a party last night people began making thicc jokes about the arepas that were being cooked and then this girl turns to me and says “you know, you’re a little bit thicc!” which was hurtful, but I simply replied with “thank you.” This guy then turns and says “I’m so glad you see it as a compliment!” Little does he know that because of that comment I’m gonna starve myself for at least 3 days and restrict even more than I was originally planning to this week. Fuck it all
To add insult to injury
/u/bigolbananaonastick
Created: Sun Nov 11 09:01:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4v9k/to_add_insult_to_injury/
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Not only have I been binge eating so hard lately but I went on a day drunk facebook creeping sesh yesterday and my boyfriends ex girlfriend is literally a model now so now I feel so bad about myself. Not to mention the fact that I have to take his daughters backpack back to her mother today and she's way skinnier and prettier than me too. Hooray for my life lol.
[Rant/Rave] H&M vanity sizing and obese model rant
/u/prettypinkneversweet
Created: Sun Nov 11 08:56:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4tse/hm_vanity_sizing_and_obese_model_rant/
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So I’ve lost a total of about 27ish pounds. I’ve been pretty excited about my weight lose and decided to treat myself last night to some online retail therapy. And wtf do I find?! H&M changed their clothing sizing. So now 26-28 waist is a small and 29-31 is a medium. Since when did 31.. okay.
So I’m reading through the comments of people who’ve bought things I like and some are like “way oversized- 2 stars” others are like “fits true to size!- 5 stars” and I can’t help but get exceedingly irritated. Im stressing out about buying a basic ass v-neck shirt.
Like I’ve worked my ass off to lose weight and now h&m is just passing out participation trophies to anyone.
The vanity sizing is going overboard and now I’m questioning what’s even the point of losing weight if I won’t even be able to find clothes my size once I hit goal 🙄 When I first started trying lose weight I couldn’t wait to wear a size 0-2 again and now I undeservingly can. Like I think the body positivity movement is great- but all this lashing out on skinny girls, true sizing, models and “fuck a salad” mentality needs to stop.
I saw an article today where this morbidly obese model (not shaming, she was just very much obese) said “most men want a plus-sized babe” HAHAHA... okay girl tell yourself that if you want too. And that she’s proud of herself. But for what though? We put models on pedestals because we can’t be them! We know how hard it is to say no to pasta and pizza. To workout 6 days a week for hours and to pass on dessert. Majority of us can’t or don’t want to be that dedicated. That’s why models get praised and paid for it🙄 it takes minimal work to pick up your phone and order Uber Eats.
If you want to eat whatever the fuck you want that’s totally fine, but I’m not sure why it’s being promoted like an accomplishment and I don’t see why a size 2 can’t just be a fucking size 2. Ugh.
TLDR; fuck the world
[Intro] Ahhh Guess I’m in This Now
/u/SD329 [5’6.5 | 145 | 23.1 | -22 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 08:52:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4sim/ahhh_guess_im_in_this_now/
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Since being a young girl I’ve struggled with my eating habits- I also had a best friend who was hospitalized during our teens for Ana, and we’d basically go days bonding over not eating. She called me a wannarexic, which still lingers in my mind. Classic kind of story. Got fat in my 20s from depression/ toxic relationship/ too much booze. Have been steadily losing since the past summer- I started off being so proud of myself for doing it ‘healthily,’ while also secretly falling back into my old habits. And god, I’m feeling so good right now. But also fucked up. We’ll see where this goes. Just wanted to share- there’s no one in my real life I can talk to about this. Thanks for being such a nice place you guys & girls
[Discussion] Recovery isn't possible if ED behaviors BECOME your identity
/u/ALittleBitChowderNow
Created: Sun Nov 11 08:35:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4npe/recovery_isnt_possible_if_ed_behaviors_become/
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I'm one of those goody-two shoes types that hides all of my bad behaviors because I have a respectable job and I want others to think I'm a normal person. Yet, I've never totally fit in and was bullied a lot as a kid for being different.
But underneath that facade of "normality," I love the fact that everyday I try to help/harm myself by eating as little as possible. It's like my own private "FUCK YOU" to the normal world.
The reverse is also true--when I'm in binge or b/p mode, I also feel like it's a huge middle finger to all the cultural norms that prescribe "healthy" eating strategies.
In other words, my ED behaviors actually are a big part of my identity. It allows me to maintain my "outsider" status in an otherwise normal world. This is why I think recovery is actually undesirable.
DAE have a similar story? I'd love to hear it.
Resource I used to find a therapist
/u/navillanavilla
Created: Sun Nov 11 08:23:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4ko3/resource_i_used_to_find_a_therapist/
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I didn’t want to put the website name in the title because i was worried I would get flagged as an Ad but it genuinely is a great website if you’ve never heard of it. Anyways check it out if you’re looking for help?? You can filter the results to only show u people who fit ur insurance or if you’re specifically looking for a psychologist or counselor you can filter for those also.
Idk maybe it’s common knowledge but I had genuinely never heard of it until a week ago
psychologytoday.com
[Tip] Low cal vegetarian options
/u/HoldenCaulfield7
Created: Sun Nov 11 08:14:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4i07/low_cal_vegetarian_options/
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Hi guys,
I was wondering if you had any low calorie vegetarian meal options. I do eat eggs, but I also enjoy cooking with tofu as well.
I absolutely LOVE hot sauce so anything with spice would be wonderful. I find I’m more full when I use hot sauce or salsa.
Please post any *low* cal options below. Trying not to go over 350-400 cals per meal. Thanks fam. 💕
🥦🥕🥒🥑🌽🌶
chocolate cravings?
/u/h8bb
Created: Sun Nov 11 07:48:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w4b1q/chocolate_cravings/
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what are safe foods for chocolate cravings?
[Other] Nothing is impossible
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sun Nov 11 07:04:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w402w/nothing_is_impossible/
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After reading one of the posts from this sub, I suddenly had a feeling that nothing is impossible. I can reach my goal weight if I try hard enough. So yeah. I will keep trying and not give up until I reach my goal weight. (!)
Perhaps, for those without ED, my thoughts are kind of inlogical.. i mean, no one would wanna be super underweight in order to feel good about themselves, right?
I feel that by reaching my goal weight, I will be happy and feel a sense of satisfaction. feels like i have conquered something each time my weight gets lower and the ability to resist food.
[Rant/Rave] 99.8 lbs this morning
/u/2ndfirstday [5'5" | 101 lbs | 16.8 BMI | -3 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 06:58:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3yho/998_lbs_this_morning/
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Fucking. Finally.
Book suggestions?
/u/Ewimfat
Created: Sun Nov 11 06:36:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3tbd/book_suggestions/
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I want to read more and my favourite ‘genre’ is anything to do with mental health etc, especially if the character is a teen because i love being able to relate to the characters. Any suggestions?
[Other] Weightloss supplements
/u/ie63
Created: Sun Nov 11 06:31:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3s5x/weightloss_supplements/
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So we all know starvation mode is bullshit, but I wanna lose weight faster and seem to be having some trouble (not looking on advice to be more strict, dont fuck up the cal count,ect ect...I know what to do😂)
Okay so I know some of yall EC stack which I havent tried yet.
But does anyone else use other supplements like hydroxycut or thermofit (itworks)
[Help] My boyfriend kissed another girl
/u/pinkribbon007
Created: Sun Nov 11 06:24:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3qpp/my_boyfriend_kissed_another_girl/
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My boyfriend, who I've been with for 3.5 years and has been the love of my life and been nothing but supportive and loving, drove over to me today absolutely distraught, confessing that he got way too drunk last night and kissed another girl. He doesn't remember how it happened, he only remembers a mental snapshot of pure regret (his words). He said it's the biggest mistake of his life, and that he can't believe he's jeopardised what we have for nothing. Guys, I'm absolutely devastated. This has come out of nowhere, we're meant to be going overseas next week. I don't want to eat anything. This has brought out all my insecurities, fears and I'm scared my eating disorder is going to spiral. I don't know why I'm writing this out to a group of strangers, but the only two friends I have are overseas at the moment, so I'm incredibly alone and petrified. I'm absolutely devastated. I don't know what to do, I just want to give in completely to my eating disorder
Instant miso?
/u/standingbymountains
Created: Sun Nov 11 06:17:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3p5n/instant_miso/
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Went to lunch with a friend the other day- she got sashimi but I stuck with just eating her miso soup. I’ve never had it and its SO GOOD. anyone know any American grocery stores where I can buy the instant powdered kind???
Self-sabotage when i'm near a goal weight
/u/fearnloathing98 [5'6| CW 53kg | LW 37kg | Female]
Created: Sun Nov 11 05:53:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3jl3/selfsabotage_when_im_near_a_goal_weight/
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For the past MONTH i've been so near to 50kg, but every time I see the number 50 on the scale it's like a switch is flipped in my brain so i'm constantly fluctuating between 51-53kg and it's the most frustrating thing ever. How do I get out of this?? It's times like these that make me wish I hadn't "recovered" (physically at least) the first time around.
The realisation that even if I get thin I’ll still be me
/u/Ewimfat
Created: Sun Nov 11 05:42:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3hki/the_realisation_that_even_if_i_get_thin_ill_still/
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Even if I got to 70lbs (My lowest weight and my new goal weight) id still have my face, my memories, my scars, my acne, my stretch mark, my disgusting personality and no friends.
Nothing is good in my life except from the idea I may be skinny again one day, I know it won’t improve all the other things but I can hope.
[Rant/Rave] I am an actual tube of toothpaste
/u/audreyhepburnwho [no binge October~ Halloween goal 68kg cw 73kg]
Created: Sun Nov 11 05:30:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3f9w/i_am_an_actual_tube_of_toothpaste/
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Anyone else? Basically I've been losing a lot on my legs more so than anywhere else. I'm not measuring but i can see the progress through clothing. The ridiculous and annoying thing is: I'm generally bottom heavy, but my legs had a very nice shape imo. No gap to speak of but my calves are strong and proportional to my thighs if you get the gist. Basically the shape was perfect, just needed everything to have less volume. And, we're getting there! The thing is, my calves are considerably thinner, and the lower part of my thighs as well. So basically I'm developing a gap that goes up from my knees and stops a few inches before my crotch. And then it curves a lot inwards. Same happen with the outer part, like before, there was kind of s straight line between my knees and hips, which was nice. But now, because the lower part of my thighs is thinner, I'm very much curvier both on the inner and outer sides, hope this makes sense. Like basically if you were to draw my bottom half before, it was pretty much a pyramid from hips to knees and then a nice curvature for the calves. Now, my calves aren't curvy anymore which in comparison makes my thighs seem bigger, and halfway up through my thighs it widens a LOT until my hips. It literally looks like I've put ON weight on my hips!!! But it's just because the lower parts are smaller. And it's so annoying because i didnt mind too much not having a thigh gap but now that i have this mini gap im staring at the pockets of fat that are right beneath my crotch before the thighs thin out. Makes sense? Basically it literally looks like someone squished my calves and knee area and moved all the fat upwards. Like when you squish a tub of toothoaste and it becomes paper thin on the bottom and full on top. I used to be overall average now i look like i have these massive hips in comparison. I swear it looked better in leggins before. Kinda annoying but I'm gonna keep going and hope it balances itself out, like i just need to lose now on the upper part of my legs and i hope it happens soon, not that i start losing somewhere else first because this shape is ridiculous
[Discussion] Do collarbones look prominent only when you flex?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| ??kg| ]
Created: Sun Nov 11 05:21:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3dqo/do_collarbones_look_prominent_only_when_you_flex/
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I don’t really know how to explain it. But I’ve seen these girls with super prominent thinspo online but I’ve never seen it in real life. So is it only possible when you strain your collarbones to make it pop? I know several super skinny girls at my school and they don’t have prominent collarbones in any of their pictures??
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 11 05:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3c26/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 11, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 11 05:10:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3bf1/daily_food_diary_november_11_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 11, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Starting a 4 day fast! Who's in?
/u/ThrowawayTAIU
Created: Sun Nov 11 05:05:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w3aik/starting_a_4_day_fast_whos_in/
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So I binged pretty hard last night and in true Bulimia fashion I'm going to try fasting for 4 days. Anyone else wants to join? Would be really helpful to have someone else to stay motivated!
[Discussion] Face full of food + proposal??
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Sun Nov 11 04:48:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w37gn/face_full_of_food_proposal/
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Ok so yesterday I finished my first ever 24 hour fast, which I got to 26 hours (yay). Mostly because I was meeting my LDR bf and he's panned for Five guys.
Yes babe I love five guys.
So as we were talking and I was shovelling food into my gob he made the remark "I'd love to marry you, will you?"
And I was like yeah sure *continues to shovel food into mouth*
And I think he was serious guys, like he said "no really, will you marry me?"
Like I'm sat there in the middle of five guys unable to speak because of the amount of burger in mouth lol.
So I'm trying to say why would you do this in five guys while I'm eating and he translated my gobble into "time and a place, got it".
Soo like what do I do at this point? Just continue on with everyday life? Expect a random proposal round the corner?
Anyone else had moment like this??
[Rant/Rave] I finally had a Pumpkin Spice Latte
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Sun Nov 11 04:46:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w371y/i_finally_had_a_pumpkin_spice_latte/
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I spent years wanting to try it, but never did. I know- you can order them with almond milk and all, but I just couldn’t let myself have one.
Right now I’m at a coffee shop with a friend (not Starbucks) and had an expensive delicious looking pumpkin latte with full fat milk instead of the small tea I had planned. Hated it. Thank god.
(There was skin on the milk. I had to chew which makes it a full regular healthy meal)
[Rant/Rave] Sunday is my favorite ❤️
/u/orthoreXXX [23F | 5’4” | cw 110.6 | gw 99 | bmi 19.4]
Created: Sun Nov 11 04:45:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w36ym/sunday_is_my_favorite/
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I have all day to hide out in my apartment, binge on anything I want, rewatch my fav nostalgic tv shows/anime, and see absolutely 0 people all day 😍
Y'all, I have a confession
/u/deadestpoet
Created: Sun Nov 11 04:26:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w33ea/yall_i_have_a_confession/
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I have become addicted to watching mukbangs, especially Nikocado Avocado! His eating videos are so gross, and you can just see how he piles on the pounds while GORGING himself on fast food and junk. It's hypnotizing, honestly, eating half an orange and drinking a cup of tea with 0 calorie sweetener while he stuffs his face with thousands of calories of food. It's so motivating and sort of fascinating the same way gross pimple videos are...
[Other] I just spent the past 6 hours looking at recipes I'll never make. One could call me a foodie.
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW: 123 | HW: 160 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 04:23:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w32zw/i_just_spent_the_past_6_hours_looking_at_recipes/
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It's 10pm. Since 4pm, without anything except for a bathroom break, I've been browsing recipes. Delicious calorie-dense recipes like banana bread, fudge brownies, home-made gnocchi oh god...
Tomorrow's menu, however, will include my specialties: coffee (with foamed almond milk), porridge (with blueberries and a dash of cinnamon), rice cakes (accompanied by a jar of salsa) and baked vegetables (drizzled in anything but oil)
[Rant/Rave] Trolls are so disgusting, find something else to waste your time on.
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| ??kg| ]
Created: Sun Nov 11 04:17:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w31w7/trolls_are_so_disgusting_find_something_else_to/
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So some random dude just messaged me sending unwanted meanspo. I know it happens to a lot of us on here and this is the first time it happened to me. I generally consider myself an insensitive person but idk why it really affected me. It kinda made me want to delete all my posts on lurk this subreddit instead. I’m so sick of them, please get a life and stop harassing girls with EDs.
Is it just me?
/u/xdrowningx
Created: Sun Nov 11 03:27:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w2tea/is_it_just_me/
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idk if this is just me but i can never lie in bed without stretching out my body to make me feel like i have a flat stomach...
like i cant sleep in a ball cause i can feel all my fat bunched up and it grosses me out
idk if that made sense but is that weird or do other people do that too
[Help] Fat composition on eyelid? I’m
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 03:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w2sc5/fat_composition_on_eyelid_im/
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I’m East Asian and naturally I have a really small double eyelid fold that looks hooded some days. I lost a lot of weight in the last couple of months and I’ve noticed that my eyelid changed as in the crease is now created by the brow bone like some western people. Has this ever happened to anyone. I used to have quite puffy eye lid area and now it’s more concave. Should this be cause for concern. Honestly I’ve never worried about my face much but I’m obsessed with having the “perfect” body. Now I’m kinda scared...please tell me that some one else has experienced this :((
Need help breaking the cycle
/u/ler330
Created: Sun Nov 11 02:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w2l35/need_help_breaking_the_cycle/
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Just found this subreddit tonight. I've suffered from binge eating and bulimia for several years now although I haven't purged since I got pregnant with my daughter, nearly two years ago. About a year ago I started going to therapy and got on anti-depressants. My husband is in the military and we moved to another country. My binge eating has gotten out of hand, I've gained 8 lbs in almost 3 months. I am compulsively eating, when I try not to I just think about food I just obsess about it until I give in. I seem to have forgotten everything I previously learned and I need some help from people who have been in this position. How were you able to pull yourself out of this cycle again? My pants are all too tight and my breasts are bulging out of my bras, I hate the way I look.
​
I want to go back to therapy but unfortunately where we're at no one off base speaks English, and this base doesn't have therapists who specialize in eating disorders so I feel kinda stuck right now and on my own.
Have you ever known anyone with an ED who didn't also have another mental illness?
/u/tornessa [5'2"| 107 | 19.6 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 01:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w26ye/have_you_ever_known_anyone_with_an_ed_who_didnt/
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Can an ED be a stand alone thing? Like no major depressive symptoms, no major anxiety symptoms, just mostly an ED.
I know it theoretically can, I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this themselves or known anyone who has.
[Rant/Rave] "You've lost weight!" "So have you!"
/u/wellismel
Created: Sun Nov 11 01:07:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w2690/youve_lost_weight_so_have_you/
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We also high fived. ;)
[Discussion] Daily calorie goal
/u/dreamedotcom
Created: Sun Nov 11 01:00:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w2511/daily_calorie_goal/
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Want to get a feel of everyone’s goals atm. Mine is 1000, I’d like to go lower but every time I do it ends in tears (week long binges).
What’s your daily goal?
[Rant/Rave] I’ve noticed how fat my arms and my inner thighs have gotten. I don’t know how to live with myself and to stop eating fucking hell
/u/edthrowawayy123
Created: Sun Nov 11 00:23:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1z0g/ive_noticed_how_fat_my_arms_and_my_inner_thighs/
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Why does my body need to eat??????
Oh Honey Pie
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:FAT | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Sun Nov 11 00:21:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1yi2/oh_honey_pie/
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Yes the titles are themed on the new Beatles remix.
Before you need it, you wanted it. Unwavering and raw confidence. A wedding, birthday, vacation in Rome. Wine is flowing like your words. You're a legend. The thought of your power makes you weak in the knees.
Hey lady, what do you do? You're an artist. Well so am I. What drives you really, cause we both know with creating something, there's an effect that we try to get away from. Our lives. That's it, yeah, our own merry lives. Your dad died two years ago. Not a day has gone where he isn't in your mind. You haven't fucked since then, have you. Of course not. Neither have we all. We're stuck. What's that you're drinking? Pour me some. I'd like that.
I hope it rains tonight. I'm a working man. If the weather was fucked twenty years ago, school's closed. It isn't the same with work. It there's a hurricane gliding its way through houses and libraries, you're making those calls. There's money to be made. Serve the food. Tell those rich buggers they can have more at any time at all. Lava cake, soft shell crab. Fettuccine Alfredo with extra sauce. Avarice is the word. It is the way it has to be. Without cheese and turkey, what use would thanksgivings be?
You saunter off because you're bored. You've gotten every word out of this woman. You're thinking of the next girl when there he was. Just standing there like a peacock. His beret has feathers on top. This man has to be good. Hello. How are you? It's alright. I just need a drink. Well, what do you want? I don't know. I'm avoiding beer this time, my wife doesn't like it. She's right there if you want her opinion too. I'll have a martini. Classic, I know. What else can I order? I don't know. You laugh. He walks away. Nobody is looking at how nervous you are. Try to smile, please. The night is not over. Not as long as you need another drink.
You're tired and alone now. The man have exhausted and bored you. The women are tiring to speak with. You can't do anything. You just want something. Atop the music, echoing and ringing off the carpet walls, fading and then dying in the distance, a soft and gentle ballad. It shows how you were and how you're meant to be. Except now, you're drinking alone. You chose that before. You're choosing that again.
I can consume the universe
/u/bhbubeepy [5'3" | CW: 122.6lbs | GW: 110 | 17F]
Created: Sun Nov 11 00:20:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1yer/i_can_consume_the_universe/
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Literally a week ago I passed my first gw of 120 and since then I've been eating so badly. I know I probably haven't gained much real weight but it's so frustrating seeing the scale at 124 when I was just at 119.8 ughhhhh. Once I'm restricting it's so easy. I barely crave snacks or food and I feel good just drinking coffee and having some 647 bread with marmite for dinner. But when I'm out of that zone I'm constantly fucking hungry and have no self control, I've been eating so much all week and I want to go eat even more right now. And tomorrow I have to go to a dinner with my extended family so no restriction there :) I just want to get back into losing, my goal is 117 for thanksgiving right now and I'm sabotaging myself.
Does anyone get horny when they're hungry?
/u/coloredfuck
Created: Sat Nov 10 23:34:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1q9p/does_anyone_get_horny_when_theyre_hungry/
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Idk why, but I love listening to my hunger pangs inside me, it turns me on. I just love feeling empty. Idk if it's bc on time I had sex on an empty stomach and felt amazing lol. Is this weird?
Alls well that ends well...
/u/maybeitmeansnothing
Created: Sat Nov 10 23:16:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1mxl/alls_well_that_ends_well/
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I posted a few days ago about being dumped and the affect my ED has on me during a difficult time like this. I received great support from a couple ladies on here. Well I went to his house tonight because he wanted me to try just bring his friend. Well little did he know I was just returning his shit, telling him how terrible he is, then I went to my friends house and hung out with a couple people that ACTUALLY care about me. First time I went over 1k cal in the last month (1020 lol) but it was totally worth it! Had a couple shots and realized I’m worth more and if he can’t also realize that on to the next one. I’ve found such amazing support in this community that I could never find in real life.. so thank you guys :)
[Rant/Rave] Finally had a really good day!
/u/lattephobia
Created: Sat Nov 10 23:14:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1mg6/finally_had_a_really_good_day/
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My last few posts have been mostly raging about nothing so I thought I'd share a little happiness in the hopes that it'll be contagious.
Today was actually really, really good. Like, I should've bought a lottery ticket.
First big snow of the year that I was all concerned about? Crushed my first 10k run in 1:20 in it.
A computer store with a free coffee machine to slurp on while I was ranting about the discontinuation of the 1080s and how 1070s weren't shit because you can't run them in SLI and don't get me started on how the 2080 is fake hype trying to force early adoption because RTX is hardly supported on mainstream hardware to a group of nerdy dudes while my husband looked on in pride? And the hot ubernerd total goals saleslady coming over to talk threadripper after my mic drop tirade? Fuck yeah I'll take it.
Said husband feeling guilty that he spent too much money on himself at the aforementioned computer store and buying the Saucony Ice shoes I stuck in the Amazon cart when I freaked out about impending snow a couple days ago? Ohgod I am not worthy.
And lastly but most importantly I Did. Not. Binge. At. Friday's. I had a nekkid side salad, broccoli soup, and left the croutons and breadstick on the side pretty as you please. Dessert? Never heard of her.
WHAT TIMELINE EVEN IS THIS? SHARE SOME VICTORIES!
[Other] Purged for the first time in 10 years
/u/woah_speedracer
Created: Sat Nov 10 22:25:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1cro/purged_for_the_first_time_in_10_years/
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I dont really know why I did it. I thought I would feel bad after I did it but I don’t, I just feel nothing.... when I realized I’ve lost over 100 lbs (I knew the number but never processed it til now I guess) I drank all day and then made myself a “fat meal” of 2 full eggs, breakfast potatoes, sausage, mayo, and cereal. I ate the cereal and some eggs and just got so upset and threw it out. I went outside in 20 degree cold without a jacket and puked my guts out in the backyard in the pitch dark and snow. I told myself I couldn’t go inside until I was empty. I need to lose 100lb more but im just so tired.
30 mins later my mouth still hurts and I can’t feel my hands and I smell like puke. But I don’t feel bad. I mean I feel guilty because it’s a bad thing to do but I don’t really feel bad about myself for doing it. I forgot about the rush i get from doing it, i dont want to start again because i already have issues with my gums and i dont want to ruin my teeth, but damn i want to do it again.... I’m sorry if this is a stupid thing to post but i have no one to talk to and I dont ever get a response on EDC.
[Intro] Intro of a BED/Bulimic trying to get her life together
/u/not_so_jollyrancher
Created: Sat Nov 10 22:17:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w1b58/intro_of_a_bedbulimic_trying_to_get_her_life/
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Hello, I’ve been lurking for ages and finally made an account because I need to hold myself accountable. I’m 18 and have undiagnosed bulimia (but i mean it’s pretty self explanatory) and BED. I also dealt with self harm for 1.5 to 2 years.
I have been binging for at least a solid month and had stopped purging after doing it for five years, but really have had to put more effort into it lately.
I want to keep a sort of log that I can update on a whim. It’s also comforting that there seems to be such a nice nest of support regardless of goals.
Here are some things I’d hope to achieve:
I’d love to stick to any calorie limit, as no matter how high I set it I always go over and binge.
I also want to be consistent with exercise.
I want to to expand my cooking skills and perhaps share some recipes with you guys sometime!
Of course, keep up my purge-free streak! (as of now 40days!!)
So, I guess here’s some more personal and interesting stuff!
I love to draw and do other artsy things, enjoy pretty much any music, lots of YouTube, absolutely love animals, am vegan, and love cooking; all for starters! I’m being kinda vague because depression made me lose interest in everything but I’m getting there.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone work at Starbucks?
/u/moisiny
Created: Sat Nov 10 21:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w17e7/anyone_work_at_starbucks/
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My barista was so helpful with my panicked questions, and it made me less stressed. I was ordering a coffee frappe and I asked for skim milk, no cream, and any syrups to be ‘diet’.
Without skipping a beat she repeated it all back to me, and offered to half the ‘base’ syrup they use. I don’t know the calories fully because of this but I’m so much more relaxed.
Just wanna say Thank you to anyone who works in food service and helps people with their requests. I’m always scared people will give me full fat something or non diet but honestly this has restored some of my faith.
If anyone works at Starbucks, I’d love to know the calories in the base syrup? I know my drink is skim milk, coffee, ice, and SF vanilla syrup so my cal count is definitely low.
[Discussion] Hot take: Salad should come with dressing on the side by default.
/u/salveinou
Created: Sat Nov 10 21:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w15w3/hot_take_salad_should_come_with_dressing_on_the/
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I hate ordering a salad, asking for like vinaigrette or ranch with it (neither of which I want too much of because one can be really unpleasant in large quantities and the other is extremely fattening) and it comes to me with the dressing poured all over the top, to the point where the leaves are soggy and limp.
I mean, yeah it's my fault for not specifying that I want it on the side, but it's a little insane to me that they (usually) absolutely drown the salad in dressing, and that they think this is what the typical salad-eater wants. If I wanted all of those calories, I would have ordered pasta.
And as a side rant, does anyone even know what a salad is anymore? Hint: if the salads at your establishment are primarily made up of bacon bits, cheese, or other toppings, it aint a salad. If it's mostly peas (which is what I got on my salad just now), it aint a salad. In fact, if the majority of the salad is something OTHER than leaves, it aint a salad. The waitress made me explain to her what a garden salad was today because apparently no one ever orders that, and what i got was a single tomato slice, a beet slice (the top part that you usually throw away) and a heaping pile of cold peas, smothered in vinaigrette with maybe like 4 lettuce leaves.
TLDR: salads at restaurants usually suck and they drench them in dressing to the point of inedibility.
Is this just my whiny ED brain saying this, or what?
[Discussion] What's your average daily calories and how often do you binge?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW: 123 | HW: 160 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 21:47:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w14z1/whats_your_average_daily_calories_and_how_often/
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Curious to know what others do. I'm stuck in a binge/restrict cycle, eating 700-1200 most days, but twice a week binging on over 3k. I feel like I have no self-control compared to a lot of people on here, especially when I read the daily food diary thread and people eat less than 500 daily.
I binged and I hate myself
/u/LolitaJane [169cm | CW 80.9kg|-6.2kg| 31F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 21:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w13u3/i_binged_and_i_hate_myself/
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I was doing so good. I just hate weekends, they are so unstructured and I just...ate and kept eating. I purged I think three or four times, with my wife sitting in the egg room and blessedly unaware.
I hate cookies and bread and myself. I shouldn't have had those soft boiled eggs this morning. I should never eat before 4 pm because I am weak and stupid and will justify an all day binge every single time.
I will drink some coffee and take four or five bisacodyl and tomorrow I will drink a bottle of magnesium citrate. I'm not going to weigh myself tomorrow probably.
Also I'm a bit drunk now because why the fuck not. I'm kind of relieved my wife is ruminating over a shitty voicemail from her mom; I can't even pretend to feel sexual right now.
I just took a shower with the lights on and didn't even think about it
/u/Risperdoll
Created: Sat Nov 10 21:20:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0z3h/i_just_took_a_shower_with_the_lights_on_and_didnt/
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For YEARS I have always taken showers with the lights off. If I take it in the day, the scant light coming through the window is all I would get. At night, I would turn the flashlight on my phone on and put it on the counter. I hate seeing a glimpse of my naked body in the mirror or when looking down and I avoid it at all costs.
Tonight I took a shower with the lights on. I didn't even notice it. The light was already on in the bathroom when I went to take a shower so I guess I just went with it. Afterwards I went to turn the light off and realized I never turn the light off after my shower because it's always already off.
I think this is some sort of weird progress for me. I wasn't hyperaware of my body. I think I'm getting a bit better.
[Rant/Rave] Binged all weekend
/u/crydontsmile
Created: Sat Nov 10 21:08:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0wfe/binged_all_weekend/
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I have been binging all weekend I just can’t stop eating junk food I feel like such a failure I’m going to put on so much weight and ruin all of my progress so far why am I so stupid???? It’s literally just a matter of NOT EATING but I can’t even get that right! I never want to eat again but I know I will because I have no control
[Help] Im struggling with binge eating should I try this?
/u/yeetskeetmahdeet
Created: Sat Nov 10 20:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0t41/im_struggling_with_binge_eating_should_i_try_this/
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800 calories
No bread nor meat
Only vegetables, fruit, diet soda, and water
If I dare think of eating any bad foods I must do 30 jumping jacks
I must hurt myself for eating any bad foods
If I eat any bad foods I must purge them by vomiting them up.
I keep on having these thoughts of doing this but it feels very scary. Like I'm about to go down a dark path. I just want to be thin so I'm like by some girl, I hate my ugly fat.
[Discussion] Who are your favorite aesthetic Instagramers?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 20:41:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0qeo/who_are_your_favorite_aesthetic_instagramers/
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I feel like for me it’s super inspiring to see people with aspirational lives (even if they’re fake), and I’m curious which ones you guys like.
[Rant/Rave] Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
/u/bigolbananaonastick
Created: Sat Nov 10 20:41:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0qc2/ughhhhhhhhhhhhh/
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I live with my family at the moment so there are too many people around to b/p as much as I need to. You can hear everything in this house. So basically I have been just binging so fucking much lately and I don't know why and I'm so depressed about it. I weighed 171.4 2 weeks ago and weighed 182.8 this morning. I want to crawl in a hole and never come out. I know part of it is water weight but holy hell I don't know why I can't get myself under control. I have to start restricting again and pronto. I'm so close to just going back to using laxatives to purge like I used to.
Is body dysmorphia real? Please help me
/u/Peace281
Created: Sat Nov 10 20:37:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0pct/is_body_dysmorphia_real_please_help_me/
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I’m just curious. I don’t mean to be rude or try to say that the disease is fake to insult people that battle with it every day. My question is if someone sees themselves as fatter than they really are in the mirror wouldn’t they know their clothes are loose? If anorexics see others as they way they really are let’s say they saw a overweight person and tried their watch or something to see how big their wrist was. Wouldn’t the watch be way too big if the anorexic person had lost a ton of weight? I’m just trying to understand how anorexics view themselves in the mirror and why they feel pressured to lose weight the way they do I’m sorry if this comes off in a negative way.
I got mansplained on how to lose weight on tinder
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 20:35:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0ow4/i_got_mansplained_on_how_to_lose_weight_on_tinder/
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After evangelizing the virtues of going to the gym, he legit told me he sometimes has to have his "clients" (personal trainer) eat more to lose more weight. And that what you eat matters more than the number of calories. And that I was gonna put myself in starvation mode eating 1000 kcal/day. Oh, and that walking doesn't burn the "kind of calories you want to burn." WTF
Oh, and that he had lost weight eating 3000 kcal/day. So obviously that would work for me, a blobish 5'4" female, if it worked for him, a muscular 6'1" male.
You guys, it was so fuckin frustrating. The arrogance. Legit, he said I was beyond his help when I told him he was misinformed. Has anyone else encountered this level of arrogant delusion?
Side note, he also said I was a problem in this country when I said I didn't care about my health.
Whatever, after all that he spent like an hour trying to get me to come over, so in the end he's the idiot who wants to fuck a fatty 😂🤣
[Discussion] Curious as to how you guys count calories
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:58:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0gds/curious_as_to_how_you_guys_count_calories/
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I feel like everyone has different views on this:
If you’re aiming to restrict under 600 (just an example), do you mean 600 total or 600 net calories.
What I mean is would you count it as “meeting your goal” if you ate 900 calories but worked out 400 so your net calorie intake is 500 (under your calorie goal)
Just want to know peoples thoughts because I go back and forth on this
So my friend said he was going to get me some protein.
/u/brattyfawn [5"1.5 | CW 105 | GW 97 | 19.1 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:51:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0eqe/so_my_friend_said_he_was_going_to_get_me_some/
---
As per the title, I've got a friend who lives in another state and loves the gym. He got really excited when I signed up because he's so passionate about it and wanted to send me some protein. I hate accepting gifts but he'd already bought it, so I relented and told him to post it over.
(He knows I've had an ED in the past and knows my current stats but last time I saw him I was at my HW so he's supportive of me losing weight via the gym.)
The parcel got here today. AND GUYS, this motherfucker didn't just get me protein. He got me:
* Vegan salted caramel protein.
* Vegan chocolate protein.
* 8 different protein bars.
* Name-brand (read: not cheap) boxing gloves.
* A name-brand gym bag and water bottle.
* Hand wraps.
All of that plus postage would be like, $150? Maybe more?????? I feel so bad but grateful at the same time?????
It's like I have a sugar daddy for the gym but PLEASE LORD DO NOT LET ME BINGE ON THE PROTEIN BARS.
This has been a post.
[Rant/Rave] GOLD MIND OF INFO
/u/saltsplendasriracha [5'7"| CW 121 | GW 113 | +8 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:38:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w0boo/gold_mind_of_info/
---
So for anyone who has gained back weight after being at their LW, my happiness will resonate. Since a medical emergency that fucked my diet back in March, my mind has been in chaos because I don't trust food at all. I keep gaining and I'm panicking because I straight up don't remember how to eat.
Well tonight I had an epiphany. I looked on MFP back to my glory days of getting to my LW. I totally see what I was doing and how I'm not doing that now, and I can 100% get back into that diet tomorrow. I loved it. It was good. I was skeletal but I passed the bar exam. 500-600 cals/day.
​
I am so happy!!
Started seeing a therapist
/u/navillanavilla
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:19:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w07bb/started_seeing_a_therapist/
---
I really like her. I think this is going to be good. Barely touched on food issues, mostly just about depression and trauma. But when she asked about appetite I was like hohoho let me tell u about that roller coaster for a sec, and briefly went over body issues as a kid. Idk I’m optimistic even though I’m horribly depressed and everything’s falling apart. Though if I didn’t have my appointment with her to look forward to, stuff would be a LOT worse.
I love my boyfriend
/u/swagzilla_xo
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:17:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w06pw/i_love_my_boyfriend/
---
He’s been sending me pics of his food nutrition labels.
I’m vegan and he’s not so we eat different things, but he’s aware that I just like to know what/how much he’s eating and I think it’s sweet 😌
[Discussion] Please go see the movie Beautiful Boy
/u/liquid_nitrogenn
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:16:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w06lt/please_go_see_the_movie_beautiful_boy/
---
It's about a boy named Nic who struggles with drug addiction through periods of relapse and recovery, and is based on memoirs from Nic Sheff & his father David Sheff.
Obviously not an ED movie, but even though I don't struggle with addiction, I felt like the movie really captured a lot of what I feel and accurately depicted the difficulty of recovery. WITHOUT glamorising - which is why I hate most ED movies and memoirs.
Beautiful Boy is just raw and honest and I think it's really relatable for people with eating disorders. It just made me feel really understood and I would absolutely recommend it.
[Other] What I Learnt in Real Recovery
/u/to-be-a-feather [5'2 | 100 | 18.3 | SW 130 | 19F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:04:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w03l9/what_i_learnt_in_real_recovery/
---
Hi guys. It’s been awhile.
Last time I checked this sub I was in relapse. I got all the way down to 68 lbs(I was 75 during my initial row) and was aiming for 50. I don’t know what got into me, but between all the bones and dry skin, I suddenly decided I missed being alive.
So, here I am. 121 lbs, got my period for the first time in a year(without the aid of prescribed hormones this time). I haven’t weighed myself in a month. I still log calories but only to check my macros because I weight lift now. Hi, booty. I got back up this far without a doctor, without IP/OP/PHP. I did it, with the support of my girlfriend(now fiancee!), and myself.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I was practically dead at 68. I probably should’ve gone IP. If you feel like you want or need IP, do not take this as a sign you don’t need it. This was also an incredibly stressful ordeal, and more stressful than it would’ve been for me to go IP. Anyway, onto what I learnt.
I learnt that it’s very hard to take myself seriously in early recovery. Old habits die hard. When I got to 101 lbs again(healthy BMI), I decided I was no longer victim to anorexia every other meal and so I no longer had to eat every meal because I was “healthy again”. Logic, right? Being hungry again was terrifying, but something I missed. It was incredibly liberating to not be terrified everytime I felt hungry. I could eat now. I learnt that I’d fallen in love with my illness and it was a very abusive relationship. My anorexia just wants me dead. It doesnt care to help me, just kill me. It doesn’t love me. It loves what it can do to me.
I learnt that burning old jeans that, at size 00, were too big for you was heartbreaking and beautiful. I felt like a pheonix. Rising out of my ashes. I went from the smallest sizes in kids to a size 2 in womens and I’m suddenly a new persob. I learnt that I missed the feeling of eating a pint of B&J’s on my period and experiencing that again was fantastic. I learnt I could laugh again. I learnt that being cold in July was not my pride but was actually really bloody annoying. I learnt that I still have anorexia even though I’m healthier and happier, because anorexia is an illness and not a shirt I put on and take off as I please.
I learnt that I’m worth life. That my thighs touching does not make me less worthy of life and love. I learnt that my thighs touching again was scary as Hell and was one big wave I had to resurface from. I learnt I am still fertile and I learnt I can cry of happiness that same day. I learnt actual ramen is really, really good(never had it before).
And I learnt I will never miss this place. It feels like walking into a memory I should’ve forgotten.
Whatever happens to you all, I hope you find happiness. I hope you find peace. Maybe it seems impossible now, but I hope you won’t always hate yourself. I hope you learn some really great things too.
Keep swimming. I won’t forget all that you taught me, either; but those are lessons I plan to keep secret ❤️
-Cat
Packing for residential?
/u/AeronauticalSalad
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:03:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w03e7/packing_for_residential/
---
Those of you who have gone residential/inpatient, what things did you find helpful to pack or wish you had brought? In addition to the basics- shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, etc. So far I’ve got cozy socks and books. Any suggestions?
[Discussion] What food do you c/s?
/u/kimboislame
Created: Sat Nov 10 19:03:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9w039q/what_food_do_you_cs/
---
Just curious, what kind of foods do you guys chew and spit? Any particular favorites?
[Discussion] Movie suggestions to watch while I binge?
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:44:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzyg3/movie_suggestions_to_watch_while_i_binge/
---
Y’all I bought so much food. I’ve never done this before, usually my binges are on whatever shitty food is in front of me, but I’m fuckin stocked and stoked.
Looking for something light. Not sad or scary or too intense.
Please and thank you :)
well, haven’t ate in 24hrs and i’m headed out to drink...let’s pray i don’t humiliate myself
/u/kiddogambino [5'3 | CW: 127 | GW1: 110 | GW2: 99]
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:27:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzufg/well_havent_ate_in_24hrs_and_im_headed_out_to/
---
title says it all, because why make good decisions, right?
[Rant/Rave] Reflexively ordered a screwdriver and I’m ok
/u/Isaidbiiiitttttttchh [Height 5’9”| HW:216| CW:150 | GW: 132 Gender: F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:23:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzta1/reflexively_ordered_a_screwdriver_and_im_ok/
---
I’m very proud of myself. I was planning my first drink in the car (vodka soda) but I’m so used to ordering a screwdriver that I accidentally ordered it and it didn’t sink in until I had 3 sips.
The world did not end. I’m not freaking out. This is littereally my first time having juice for 295days. I don’t usually like to “waste the calories”
You guys I’m really proud of myself 😁
I never feel like I’m burning enough calories
/u/idahobeachhouse
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:21:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzsxt/i_never_feel_like_im_burning_enough_calories/
---
I’ve been working out all week and feel great! And like somehow my brain has made that a problem. Because obviously if you’re not dying and sweating profusely, you burned 2 calories. I don’t trust MFP. I don’t trust the calories burned on the machines. I have a heart rate monitor that converts the calories and I fucking lost half of the components, so I can’t use that. So I’ve just been pushing myself to work out for at least 1.5 hours each day or else feel like a fat pig. It’s great 🙃🙃🙃
Finally shat myself (CW: gross)
/u/WWEisVegan
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:19:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzsak/finally_shat_myself_cw_gross/
---
I've been messing around with laxatives for the better part of a year, so it's really been only a matter of time. I had an event I was going to go to tonight but skipped it cause I was afraid of the food, so at least the other parts of my ED saved this from happening in public. Just sitting it home in my underwear, six hours after taking twice as many laxatives as I should have,and I stretched and yawned a little and suddenly my underwear was full of greasy, liquidy poop. As I waddled to the bathroom it dripped artistically down my legs and on the tile, a lovely mess I'm going to clean with bleach and still never feel is clean enough.
And you know what? It doesn't matter. My reaction was entirely "oh." Just an inevitable, something I was definitely expecting on some level and have already come to terms with. I shat myself and it's not gonna do a damn thing to stop me from abusing laxatives. And it probably won't be the last time I do this either!
So glad to experience the full beauty and aesthetic of this fucking disorder.
Does anyone have any opinions or experience with the weight loss supplements at stores like CVS/Walgreens?
/u/chrysanthemym [🌻 she/her | cw: 134 | gw: 115 | vegan 🌻]
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:18:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzs2o/does_anyone_have_any_opinions_or_experience_with/
---
Things like "Lipozene", "Hydroxycut", "Garcinia", "CLA", and "Stacker 3 Ephedra"... Does anyone here have any experience with these and if they actually work in suppressing your appetite and cravings?
[Other] Received a Counterfeit Bill, now I can’t eat this weekend
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:12:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzqnw/received_a_counterfeit_bill_now_i_cant_eat_this/
---
Well I guess I’m out $10 and therefore don’t have the money to fucking eat this weekend. Not like I actually needed to or anything since I’ll be at my boyfriend and not at home.
An avocado made me cry.
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 150 | GW: 125| BMI: 21.75 |]
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzq45/an_avocado_made_me_cry/
---
I'm not sure why I thought forcing myself to eat a whole avocado would work in my favor. I figured 'Hey I've been absolutely relentless to my body today, I've eaten almost nothing this week, and I'm incapable of focusing due to not having energy. I should have this thing because it's healthy. It'll be great." It wasn't great. My boyfriend walked into the kitchen, saw me sitting at the table with a 1000 yard stare, and slowly backed away when he realized I was crying.
Hope everyone else is having a nice, stable night lol
When I’m sick I eat for therapy
/u/7M7j7KGMM8uuwNnW [63" | CW 145lb. | GW 120lb. | BMI 26 | -24lb. | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:07:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzp8m/when_im_sick_i_eat_for_therapy/
---
I just got over a cold. I feel like I’ve gained 10lbs but I won’t actually check because what if I really have? Anyway I eat more when I’m sick. When I’m healthy I fast & eat only my safe foods. I’m on the end of a cold and can finally commit to restricting again! STUPID COLD SEASON! How am I supposed to stay skinny af if I keep getting sick!
Gonna load up on Zicam. Can’t be dealing with this bullshit haha
[Help] Vitamins = weight gain?
/u/jaksusu [5’2 | 119 | 21.6 | F ]
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzoqq/vitamins_weight_gain/
---
I know this is irrational and the answer is most likely no. But, is it at all possible?
My weight was going down pretty consistently up until I started taking them (and I’ve been eating less since), and I’ve been stuck at 119 for 6 frigging days now. It’s driving me nuts!
Please tell me I’m just plateauing and it’s a coincidence???
[Rant/Rave] I’m having a binge and god fucking damnit I’m gonna enjoy it
/u/LumosErin
Created: Sat Nov 10 18:02:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzo5u/im_having_a_binge_and_god_fucking_damnit_im_gonna/
---
My OMAD today (Planned cheat) is (almost) a bottle of wine, a shit ton of air-popped popcorn and the 2004 “Phantom of the Opera” movie.
Plz forgive me, I’m extremely wine-drunk as I post this, but god fucking dang it I will enjoy this binge bc it will (hopefully) be the only binge for the rest of the month.
I can do it.
back after a long hiatus
/u/audreybelle_ [5'3 - 15f ]
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:58:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzn8l/back_after_a_long_hiatus/
---
i really missed being here although i rarely posted lmao
after binging for two weeks and eating 1,500 - 2,200 calories and gaining four pounds i guess it’s time to come back here
missed u guys xox
[Help] Tomorrow needs to be a good day of 100 cals
/u/saltsplendasriracha [5'7"| CW 121 | GW 113 | +8 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:56:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzmi0/tomorrow_needs_to_be_a_good_day_of_100_cals/
---
I’m going to lose my mind. Woke up at my HW today (though likely due to dehydration) and forced myself not to bail on a day trip with friends. On said day trip, I had to do wine tasting and dipped the bare min. I also got ravenously hungry. So after 6 egg whites between morning and lunch I had
-turkey deli meat and a tomato slice out of a sandwich
- several of those dark disks from Chex mix (I NEVER EAT CARBS)
-a baby carrot
-2 laughing cow light cheese wedges (70 cals total)
I came home, again ravenous??? Maybe because it was fucking freezing and I was chillled to the bone for 6 hours outside at a winery with zero heat lamps or indoor areas.
So I just ate 3 egg whites.
I’m crying my eyes out. Y’all my face in our group pic is fatter than I’ve ever seen. TOMORROW I am fighting my exercise and activity obsessed urges and I’m going to lay in bed all day eating NOTHING.
[Rant/Rave] I’m at another low point. I literally just threw away everything edible I own except alcohol, including food my mom drove 100 miles to bring to me today. Feels like shit, man
/u/ignorado [🍑: ignorado]
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:49:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzkpg/im_at_another_low_point_i_literally_just_threw/
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https://i.redd.it/wfn3rybxmlx11.jpg
How
/u/THROWaway272773
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:42:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vziwn/how/
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I feel like I’m a terrible boyfriend. My girlfriend has ED and I said something recently and it triggered her into wanting to long term fast again. I didn’t mean to. Idk what to feel or do. I just want her to be happy. How can I be a supportive partner, how do I not mess up. I just want to make her happy. I just want her to be happy.
[Help] discord servers?
/u/romeodendron
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:35:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzhbh/discord_servers/
---
the one I was a part of was deleted. anyone have any invite links?
[Help] I’m losing fucking everything
/u/broketreebranch [AN/BP 🍑: dancinghare]
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:35:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzh7n/im_losing_fucking_everything/
---
Relationships. Work. My grad program. Sanity. Emotional stability. And I’m not even at my lowest weight yet.
I want to not care about my weight or food. But I don’t think that’s possible. Why return to treatment again when I’ll probably relapse YET AGAIN. It’s always only a matter of time. Idk what to do anymore.do I try recovery again? Or do I keep going till I lose every thing and/or die??? It feels like it’s my destiny to suffer with this the rest of my life, however long it ends up being.
[Goal] About to enter a weekend with my biggest binge trigger.
/u/lunarmoth_ [5’5”| 145 | 24 | -20 | 23F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzfvu/about_to_enter_a_weekend_with_my_biggest_binge/
---
I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I’ve eaten sub 1000 calories all week and I’m super proud of myself. I’m very worried about seeing my boyfriend and his family tonight because they all eat a ton of food. My boyfriend snacks on super sugary, carby foods and is always eating late at night. His mother is very pushy with me about eating, always making me food and trying to get me to eat seconds and thirds. There are multiple boxes of wine on tap. Basically it’s a nightmare lol. Sometimes I wish I could isolate myself from everyone I know to lose my weight and just ... pop out of the woodwork in the spring, hairless, skinny and new like a spring chicken.
I don’t want to crack. I can do this! I can control myself. I will allow myself a maximum of 1000 calories Sunday and Monday, fast Tuesday and Wednesday (or eat up to 800 calories, I have to go see my grieving grandma and I want to be in a good mind state to support her), and eat 1000 calories Thursday, Friday and Saturday due to big, important work projects.
[Rant/Rave] guess who’s back feeling like shit?
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:30:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzfvg/guess_whos_back_feeling_like_shit/
---
spoiler alert: it’s me
:///
[Other] i had a normal day???
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 21f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🐻]
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzejt/i_had_a_normal_day/
---
had pancakes for breakfast with a friend and didn’t feel guilty about it or tried to compensate and then for once i didn’t think about food all day and i went to get dinner at the grocery store and picked something i really like without looking at the calorie count first and at some point i even had liquid calories like, who am i???? and the kicker is i still finished the day on a 1500 calorie deficit???? science
Grocery shopping for the week completed 👍🏻
/u/FameuxCelebrite [5’6|CW: 140|GW: 120|-40 lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:24:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzegz/grocery_shopping_for_the_week_completed/
---
https://i.redd.it/5is0h8nlilx11.jpg
Saw this on tumblr, can relate
/u/alexhjones95
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzdab/saw_this_on_tumblr_can_relate/
---
https://i.redd.it/8pfdbw8uhlx11.jpg
The ED starter kit, thanks Amazon
/u/bottomlesspitttt
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:20:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzd8g/the_ed_starter_kit_thanks_amazon/
---
https://i.redd.it/hwalazcqhlx11.png
[Help] HAVEN discord server (deleted AD server) - momma hen
/u/romeodendron
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:17:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzcj6/haven_discord_server_deleted_ad_server_momma_hen/
---
it’s momma hen, pls dm me if you were a part of it and have people as your friends!
my account was deleted including my alt... unfortunately that means the second backup server which I hadn’t transferred ownership to also was deleted.
if you know:
- Jack
- fawn
- bri
- lee
please dm me. ty
[Help] What are my chances of inpatient?
/u/AeronauticalSalad
Created: Sat Nov 10 17:14:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vzbkj/what_are_my_chances_of_inpatient/
---
I’m meeting with an eating disorder specialist next week at the Melrose Center in Minneapolis. I’ve lost 25 pounds in the past 2 months, but my BMI is 19.6, so not underweight yet. I am 17 years old and suffer from Crohn’s Disease, which the anorexia is causing to flare up, so I’m at a higher medical risk even though I’m at a healthy weight for now. I’m not sure if I want to go inpatient or not. I’d like to once I lose 20 more pounds and qualify as underweight, otherwise I’ll feel like a fake the whole time. Do you think the doctor will recommend inpatient? Is there anything I could say to avoid it? Anything I could say to guarantee I’ll be put in?
[Rant/Rave] I dont even know where to begin.
/u/lostandlonley333
Created: Sat Nov 10 16:48:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vz4pf/i_dont_even_know_where_to_begin/
---
The past weekend has been an intense one, one that has made me realise my health is more important than being thin.
Ill start from Friday night. Me and my friends were planning to go to a bar, we met at one of our houses beforehand to start drinking. I was wearing semi revealing clothing and its the first time in months my friends have seen my body not covered in layers of baggy clothes. As soon as I walked in they kept going on about how thin I had gotten, how much weight I've lost and that I have no boobs or ass anymore. Of course I was extremely flattered but they said these things in such a concerned tone a small part of me was worried that perhaps I was becoming too thin.
Fast forward to around 12 that night, I hadn't eaten since 6pm when I had half a banana so the alcohol was hitting me hard. I must have let something slip about food (because I can't stop talking about it even though I know it makes my ED 10x more obvious to my friends), which then caused one of my also drunk friends to call me out of the fact I binge in front of people but starve myself when Im alone. The reason she knows this is because she's the person I usually smoke weed with which always leads to a 3000+ calorie binge. Mind you this guy I like was there and she was saying all this in front of him. I was so embarassed.
After drinks I went back to the guys place, we got high (not the weed kind) and ended up staying awake all night, not a wink of sleep. Saturday morning I went home and the first thing I did was weigh myself. 1.3 kilos lost. I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. At 47 kilos and my BMI officially being 'underweight' I had finally achieved the thing I had been striving for since I relapsed a year ago. Even under my parents watchful eye I had managed to drop almost 16 kilos.
Because of the night I had I thought it would be wise to eat SOMETHING so I had one sushi that I found in the fridge and tried to sleep.
As I was laying in my bed my rapid heart beat and anxiety ridden thoughts became increasingly obvious. I went over what my friends had said, the overnight 1kilo weight drop, the fact my body was already damaged from the first time I had anorexia. I thought about how much damage I must have done this time.
After a good nights sleep I feel better, but the night I had made it clear to me. We only have one life and how long we spend on this earth, with the people we love is determined by how well we take care of our body. My constant struggle to be skinnier and skinnier is destroying it. Each time I relapse takes years of my life, I know this. My bones are brittle, I'm deficient in so many things and Im exhausted on the daily.
It wont be easy but from now on Im trying to make more of an effort simply to eat. Just eat 3 meals a day, proper, adult meals. Sorry for the length of this post, for anyone who has read this far, thank you for listening.
14 miles wasted
/u/Capt_butter [5' 11" | 151 | 21.1 | GW: 115 | 17M]
Created: Sat Nov 10 16:40:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vz2la/14_miles_wasted/
---
so i went out on a hike today and my group ended up hiking 14 miles, which over a thousand calories burned. but then my parents took me out for dinner, again, and it was at a fucking buffet. and i can never control myself with food in those situations. so now all the work that i had done is gone. fuck
[Other] I don't want to be the fat one any more
/u/yellixis [160/ 5'3" |cw: 60kg | FtM]
Created: Sat Nov 10 16:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyyxz/i_dont_want_to_be_the_fat_one_any_more/
---
I'm sick of everyone talking about how much I loooove food, how I am constantly stuffing my face, how "if you were a deadly sin you'd be gluttony", how I am a bottomless pit who binges until all the snacks are gone. How I'm "chunky" how I have thunder thighs.
Random list of comments I just can't get out of my head from friends and family who have no idea how hurtful they are being.
Friend after realising I was FtM trans: "I had no idea! I guess I didn't notice your boobs because you're chubby I thought it was moobs"
Friend after visiting and staying with me "Your portion sizes are HUGE I have no idea how you eat so much it's crazy"
"Do you EVER stop eating?"
"Oh my god hide the food yellixis is here!"
"You've always been a chunky girl" (double shots fired with this one...)
I could go on. And on. And on. I just sent my boyfriend a bunch of teary texts about my ED mixed with a fight I had with my mom and he is ignoring all the ED related ones and only responding to the others...It's making me feel so stupid. I feel like no one ever takes me seriously. No one will ever think I'm small or cute or athletic or cool. I'm always going to look chunky and Womanly, with my 28" legs and 36" hips...kill me honestly. Isn't it fucked up that all this makes me want to do is BINGE until I'm sick?
[Rant/Rave] Shopping is so fun now..and I’m broke because of it?
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 131.2 lbs | -49 lbs | F22]
Created: Sat Nov 10 16:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyv11/shopping_is_so_fun_nowand_im_broke_because_of_it/
---
I used to dread shopping because I’d usually begrudgingly buy a few items and call it a day.. then proceed to feel like shit for the rest of the day. I went shopping today to buy a winter jacket, and had the complete opposite experience. Both sales ladies in two separate stores offered to get me my size when I was interested in a jacket and said, “an XS or small?” Guysssss. It’s so fun to shop now. I’m working out at the gym now with a smile on my face. I’m like 500$ poorer, but damn it. Buying clothes is just too enjoyable now. I feel like I need to make up for all the years I spent in highschool and college dreading every trip to the mall. I’m like “Whatever” to the money rn. Treat ya self. Retail therapy works, confirmed. 👏🏻 here’s to a good day for me. I needed one after the month I’ve had.
[Rant/Rave] My wide ass hip bones
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Sat Nov 10 16:03:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vysmd/my_wide_ass_hip_bones/
---
Id look so much skinner if only I didnt have wide hip bones and wide shoulders... I have no fat on the sides of my hips so my bones stick out but I still look huge from the front, but stick skinny from the side wtffff
Kinda proud of avoiding a binge
/u/Serenescence [5'8 | CW 121 | GW 105 | 19F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 16:03:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vysjk/kinda_proud_of_avoiding_a_binge/
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Bf is staying over and he was hungry for takeout so we got some being delivered soon. I could have easily ordered a burger/pizza/chicken along with him, but I only ordered a side salad and small fries. Obviously the fries aren’t perfect but still, at least I have more control than a few weeks ago 💕
[Discussion] ProEDers who hate their hips...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyp68/proeders_who_hate_their_hips/
---
Has anyone ever tried one of those hip slimming corsets? They’re meant for people who have just had a baby but I’m wondering if they would work otherwise.
Sleeping problems
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:50.5kg| BMI:18.1 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:44:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyn4x/sleeping_problems/
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I like going to bed hungry. But whenever i do so, i can’t sleep well and always wakes up after 5h. Anyone experiencing this too?
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally Consuming Liquid Calories
/u/mathsismypassion
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:42:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vymnu/accidentally_consuming_liquid_calories/
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This is my first post on here. Sorry if it’s not right. I’ve been following my diet so well recently. Up to week 5 of ABC, I’ve only gone over my target once. Today, I was happy because I’d had 4 mugs of 7up and I’m notorious for not drinking enough. But then I found out it wasn’t sugar free. I’m so upset and I keep thinking about how stupid I am. Think I might have to add in an extra fast day tomorrow. How do I make myself feel better? I’m really not coping with life at the moment.
welcome to the proED campfire sleepover! ✨
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:40:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vym6f/welcome_to_the_proed_campfire_sleepover/
---
Let’s share embarrassing ED stories around the campfire and send love!!⛺️🔥✨💛
> 1. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done to avoid food
> 2. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done to get food?
I’m in a mood to get cozy and not feel so alone so here’s some air popped popcorn, SF choccy, and low cal moscato to get us started 🍿🍫🥂. Now spill the beans pls!
When youve been fasting all day cause youll be home alone tonight and can eat an entire pint of B&J's for dinner without judgement...
/u/KatIsFab [157 cm | HW: 64 | CW: 56.40 | BMI: 22.88 | GW: 55 | F |]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:39:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyluu/when_youve_been_fasting_all_day_cause_youll_be/
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and your fucking parents decides to host a dinner party for a bunch of strangers instead of going out to eat. Never mind then. Im just gonna go hide in the basement for the rest of my fucking evening. No biggie. Stuff like this always throw me off completely, and now I just want to sit and cry in my room all night.
I told my friend last night...
/u/PoorLama [6ft | CW 188 | BMI 25.5 | Weight Lost 12lb | Gender F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:32:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyjwg/i_told_my_friend_last_night/
---
So I've been trying to put a positive front to my friends. So I twist the truth of how I'm actually feeling to make them think I'm okay so they don't feel bad.
So last night I told my friend "I've lost 17lbs!" All cheery and shit. Unfortunately I got hella depressed later and admitted it was actually closer to about 25lbs lost since September and I lost it in an unhealthy way....
I haven't heard back since my last message and I'm just fucking terrified that they're thinking I'm weak or that I'm a drag on them. But let's be real, I definitely am. :-(
I wanted to poop, not die: a limerick
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW oops | GW 93lbs | 🍑 inconceivable ]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:29:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyj1w/i_wanted_to_poop_not_die_a_limerick/
---
There once was a girl named Max
Who dared to take five dulcolax
The pain was unbearable
Her pants now unwearable
Nothing’s spared when your butthole attacks
I wanted to poop, not die: a limerick
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW oops | GW 93lbs | 🍑 inconceivable ]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:28:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyivx/i_wanted_to_poop_not_die_a_limerick/
---
There once was a girl named Max
Who dared to take five dulcolax
The pain was unbearable
Her panties unwearable
Nothing’s spared when your butthole attacks
I wanted to poop, not die: a limerick
/u/inconceivable-- [20F | 5'5'' | CW oops | GW 93lbs | 🍑 inconceivable ]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyip9/i_wanted_to_poop_not_die_a_limerick/
---
There once was a girl named Max
Who dared to take five dulcolax
The pain was unbearable
Her pants now unwearable
Nothing's spared when your butthole attacks
[Rant/Rave] That feel when you easily walk off the bag of chips you ate in one sitting at work
/u/ManWithTheHands [6'5" | CW230 GW 200 | 23.35 | -103 | 19M]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:25:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyhwm/that_feel_when_you_easily_walk_off_the_bag_of/
---
I love working at target lmao, I take ~2.5k steps/hour lmao
[Rant/Rave] I feel like dirt
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1 | 195 | 36.8 | -25 | M]
Created: Sat Nov 10 15:24:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vyhm9/i_feel_like_dirt/
---
I haven't felt like this since the middle of college when I almost failed out.
Like I can't do anything right.
Like I don't deserve anything.
I feel like a shadow of myself.
But at least I've lost 5 pounds.
[Rant/Rave] The smaller I become, the larger I feel & other thoughts
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:55:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vy9mn/the_smaller_i_become_the_larger_i_feel_other/
---
I mentioned on here that I binged 2 days ago. Because of that, I restricted heavily yesterday. I ended up doing OMAD after I got off work. I ate 275 calories. I cannot believe I didn't gain weight from that binge. I weighed myself this morning - 92lbs. (I'm a 5'1.75 female)
I feel big. I know that logically I am considered to be underweight, but I don't feel it. I absolutely hate how short I am. I lost 3 lbs in a week and I don't feel any difference. I fucking hate this. Its becoming increasingly difficult to even look at myself in the mirror. My head is suddenly too big for my body, my thighs look huge, my arms look huge. Every time I look at my stomach, I want to physically rip the fat away. Its disgusting.
My UGW was 85 lbs but I know that when I reach it, it won't be enough. I guess my UGW should actually be 75 at this point...
I hate the fact that I work in a restaurant. I hate listening to people chew and the sounds of silverware against plates. I hate listening to people say everything is 'delicious'. Jesus Christ, not everyone is able to fucking eat like a normal person. I really need to get another job. My boyfriend who also works here keeps offering me food. No. Stop it. I've said no 50 times. Do you want an attractive girlfriend or do you want a whale?
My mind is so messed up.
[Help] Help with a realistic goal?
/u/alonlioak
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:46:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vy73u/help_with_a_realistic_goal/
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So I’m currently about 63kg (139 pounds) at 5 foot 7.5 inches and I’m the least fit person you can probably imagine- l have a really high body fat percentage. I need to lose weight for something before February and I’m gonna do everything in my power to lose as much as possible. How much do u guys reckon that would be, realistically?
[Help] starting the ABC diet
/u/tthhrrowwaawayy
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:36:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vy47t/starting_the_abc_diet/
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hey r/proed!!!
im planning to start the abc diet next week as ive gained 11kg after 'recovery' (basically me binge eating every day for over a month - yikes). im gonna do OMAD because eating all my calories at once usually stops me from binging. im going to be eating 100% healthy food and ill take vitamins everyday. im also going to do some light exercise everyday to hopefully speed up the process.
not to sound pro-ana or anything but does anyone have any advice for dealing with such a restrictive diet that they'd like to share? or maybe any personal experiences with this diet? any help is appreciated. thank you :D
Bloody nose and headache after purging
/u/apfrun
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:35:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vy3wp/bloody_nose_and_headache_after_purging/
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Is this normal? Or should I be worried
Just checking then I'll delete this
[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate social events
/u/shiftless-kitten
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:34:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vy3rz/i_fucking_hate_social_events/
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I know, I know, I know.
Sometimes they are okayish.
But this evening I was unprepared because I thought the get together was tomorrow not today.
I was shocked when I realized I had just 3 hours left before I had to attend this event.
The last days I was highly restricting and I just needed some time to prepare myself mentally that I had to eat a kinda normal amount of food.
At least I was early enough to walk around before the party started, sooo in my head I just had to burn a few calories to feel better about eating something.
I was at this babyparty of my coworker and there was plenty of cake and a big buffet.
I sat down and I feared the cake because usually I cant stop when I start eating cake.
Lucky for me the cake was kinda dry and didnt trigger me but I felt like everyone stared at me and I could get away with just half a piece of cake.
So I ate one more tiny cupcake and some other fancy looking mini roll of puff pastry.
I dont know why I thought that I had to est more. Now I think that probably nobody had noticed besides my coworker, which sat next to me. What a waste. It didnt even taste good.
But you know Im not a baby nor a kid person. So when my coworker asked if we shall drink some Cola+Rum I was like „sure, sounds good“ whilest in me there was this pure hate against myself that I would drink calories.
And of course I drank two glasses full of this devil beverage.
Beforehand I thought I could get away with just drinking water... you know, to keep the damage to a minimum.
At least we tried baby foods and I got to eat some smashed apple with banana. I got a good reason why I just got some tomatoes and a little chickenthing for dinner.
Not like anybody asked me.
But what if they were talking about my eating habits behind my back?
You know.. the overweight girl eating little to nothing. How pathetic. She must just have phase and tomorrow she will binge again.
I know thats what I always thought and now Im afraid people could think it about me.
How pathetic.
But here I am.. had a good reason to leave early and walked straight for two hours home.
I know that I didnt consume enough calories to gain. But I also know that I consumed more calories than I would have had to. Just because Im too afraid of people asking whats wrong. Just because Im trying to fit in so hard I would rather hate myself afterwards.
[Rant/Rave] DAE just feel..... stuck?
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vy33b/dae_just_feel_stuck/
---
I dont have the energy for an eating disorder anymore. worrying about calories, constantly weighing myself, always being shaky and cold and wasting money on binge food that i'll just throw away
But like i absolutely wont go to recovery. i'd get behind in school, my parents would be upset, i'd be stressed as fuck. I just..... cant. I dont really know what to do with myself.
[Rant/Rave] A month and a half 10lbs lost.
/u/rejected_desk_puppy [5’1.5 | CW 140| GW 113| LW 98 | F 23]
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:30:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vy2k3/a_month_and_a_half_10lbs_lost/
---
I was feeling stuck and sad. So I checked my super secret body check book (I track my weight and measurements as well as journal a little how that weight makes me feel at that time/what I changed to lose and how I can improve) I found out I’ve lost 10lbs in a little over a month as well as 3 inches off my waist! Not much else has changed but let’s face it the waist is the big one. Seeing it big picture instead of day to day gave me some peace of mind that this whole ordeal is semi paying off... pray for me to lose the next 10 quicker (goal is -15 by Christmas). I hope you all get a little glimpse behind the curtain of dysmorphia and daily weigh ins today too ❤️ I love when my brain sees my body as an objective science experiment it feels closer to reality. I can’t really celebrate with anyone else you guys and gals are my support system and I appreciate every one of you.
[Rant/Rave] Whenever I feel like I’ve eaten too much or feel bad about my body, I just hide in my room
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:16:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxyhd/whenever_i_feel_like_ive_eaten_too_much_or_feel/
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Title says it all. I just get super antisocial and kind of mean because of how much I want to be alone... I can’t help it ://
My calorie counting obsession will not ruin my band's full length album this weekend.
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 108.4 | GW 103.5 | F26]
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:11:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxwwc/my_calorie_counting_obsession_will_not_ruin_my/
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Starting last night and until Monday morning, I'm not counting calories or restricting. I'm eating whatever I want and definitely a calorie surplus. I'm a metal drummer and need the energy to make a perfect album. This is the most important thing I've accomplished and I refuse to let myself be weak and ruin it. Monday I'll be back at it but for now, this takes priority.
Wish me luck beauties 💕
[Discussion] What's the last triggering comment someone has said to you?
/u/Bookeisha [182 cm | 57.3 kg | BMI 17.3 | M ]
Created: Sat Nov 10 14:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxtnf/whats_the_last_triggering_comment_someone_has/
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https://i.redd.it/vzs5htq2ikx11.jpg
[Discussion] What's the last triggering comment someone has said to you?
/u/Bookeisha [182 cm | 57.3 kg | BMI 17.3 | M ]
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:59:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxtlq/whats_the_last_triggering_comment_someone_has/
---
https://i.redd.it/okxv5zn1ikx11.jpg
Canada and Bronkaid
/u/bitpattern
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:51:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxrc3/canada_and_bronkaid/
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Where can I find Bronkaid or something similar in Canada? I want to start EC stacking.
[Rant] work is such a trigger.
/u/etherealseptember
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:51:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxr7o/rant_work_is_such_a_trigger/
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I work in a restaurant and it’s such an issue for me. It doesn’t help that I eat OMAD, usually around 9am, and my shift starts at 5pm and goes until 2am. Alllllllll night long I smell delicious food and watch people devour plates of my favourite foods. It’s horrific. I’m dreading working tonight because I’m already at 750cal for the day and I know I’m going to be so tempted. Heeeeeelp.
[Help] I think that I’m stuck in a binge cycle.
/u/Just-Another-Mom [5'8" | 142 | 21.5 | 43lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:44:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxpgl/i_think_that_im_stuck_in_a_binge_cycle/
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For most of this year, I have restricted most of the week but binged once-twice in said week. For the past two weeks however, I have been binging every other day. I’m trying so hard not to binge because I want to be small and fragile! I’m not sure what is going on with my brain but I feel like my control is gone. Does anyone have any advice?
[Help] Warm, fuzzy hugbox after b/p, please
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxoz7/warm_fuzzy_hugbox_after_bp_please/
---
Ugh, so I just did it.
I already knew this morning after getting up that it was not going to be a good day (in general, not food wise). Finally got my long awaited whoosh yesterday (half a kg in one day) but had apparently gained 200 grams back this morning, despite staying way below my kcal goal yesterday. I know, I know, water weight and all that but I still resent it. To top it all off, today was a *crazy* bloating day so I already felt like an overstuffed sausage in my clothes.
When I went to do groceries, I *knew* I shouldn't have bought that hummus but I did it nonetheless. So yeah, came home and the tub was gone in ten minutes. Would actually not have been a problem calorie wise, I was still way below 1,000. But of course I feel like a failure so I decide to go do groceries again and stock up on ice cream, cereal and biscuits so I can stuff myself until I'm nauseous and full enough for a nice purge. But... Then I fell asleep and when I started purging it was about two hours after I started binging. Not that big a deal, my metabolism is usually slow enough that I'll still get most of it out and not gain, usually I either maintain or lose a little.
But still... I feel like a total failure now. I have only 39 days left to lose those last 3kg and while I know that it can be done... I don't know. At this moment I just feel horrible.
Fuck this day.
Seriously.
Fuck. This. Day.
[Rant/Rave] WHY DO COUGH DROPS HAVE CALORIES
/u/AzraelUaDuibhne
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:32:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxlz4/why_do_cough_drops_have_calories/
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FUCK
Freaking out about going out with my friend
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | SW:120 CW: 104 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:32:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxlw6/freaking_out_about_going_out_with_my_friend/
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I'm so so so anxious. Its not cool. Can my ed/ocd please just take a day off?
So I have a very specific and rigid schedule about when and what I eat. Its awful. But today my bestie wants me to go out with her to fancy tea with pastries/sandwiches etc. It sucks because I don't even like any of the sandwiches and they are very high cal
I'm probs just going to suck it up and go, but I'll just get tea and maybe a salad and a small pastry if they have that. Its suspicious as hell but at this point I don't give a fuck. She kinda knows I have issues but I just hope she doesn't give me the "you are too skinny" talk. I've heard that shit like 50,000 times.
I am determined to make it through though because she is my best friend and its her birthday and I can't keep on bailing.
send help
[Help] Give me strength
/u/Fatalope
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxjnz/give_me_strength/
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Im stop hungry, I weighed in at 134.2 this morning and have been drinking my diets like no tomorrow but I want to inhale some taco bell, one never had it and done woman at work was raving about it
R.I.P.
/u/DietVenlafaxine
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:22:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxj1z/rip/
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Thought I was eating sugar free bread and butter pickles, but I bought the regular ones by accident.
[Help] Literally PANICKING about dinner
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:09:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxfc5/literally_panicking_about_dinner/
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So I have two options tonight: either I’m going out for dinner with my mother (which is always a BIG thing, several courses, hours of drinking and eating and talking) OR I am having a girls night with one of my friends (involving smoking hella weed, probably getting something crazy like Chinese food, and being around snacks for hours while sitting on our asses watching movies). I just got my Ritalin refilled and I just wanna staaaaarve and feel powerful! I can’t decide what to do and I really just want to run far far away and disappear and not have to eat. I’m shutting down over anxiety over this decision. Please help.
[Discussion] Weirdest bruise you’ve ever had?
/u/greycat91
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:08:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxeus/weirdest_bruise_youve_ever_had/
---
I woke up this morning to a bruise from sleeping on my stomach—it’s literally an outline of the top of my sweatpants. Just wide black/blue stripe across my stomach
I’d post a pic but I’m bloated from eating last night And too embarrassed
[Goal] 100 HOURS
/u/countdowntocontrol [5ft 5 | CW: 130 | GW: 120 | ☀️]
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:04:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxdnz/100_hours/
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At midnight I am beginning a 100 hour fast. I want to do it. I want to push myself harder than I ever have. I will keep y'all updated. Send strength. Send power.
[Other] anyone on Vora?
/u/tired_platypus [5'4 | 117.2 lbs |F17]
Created: Sat Nov 10 13:01:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxcr8/anyone_on_vora/
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hey guys, so i just got this fasting app called Vora and am in desperate need for motivation. if anyone wants to add me, my user is le_mon_ade
[Discussion] DAE restrict more when not counting calories?
/u/trickasfuck [170cm | CW: 66.8kg | GW: 59.0kg | -3.2kg | 20F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 12:54:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vxaoo/dae_restrict_more_when_not_counting_calories/
---
Counting calories stresses me out anyway but I’ve found that if I don’t track I actually end up eating less?? Something about not knowing exactly how many calories I’m eating makes it easier to restrict lower. Wanted to know if anyone else experiences this?
[Help] Oatmeal recipes please!
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Sat Nov 10 12:39:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vx6fm/oatmeal_recipes_please/
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I absolutly love oatmeal, but I sadly get out of hand with what I add in (I'm talking like a shit ton of nut butter) and I seem to do better when I follow recipes, cause I won't worry about how much I put in. So of any of you could offer low calorie oatmeal (preferably high volume cause I'm sadly a high volume eater) thank you!
[Discussion] DAE rate food to remind your future self that it wasn't as good as you thought it'd be?
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | CW 116.2 | BMI 19.0 | HW 136 | LW 90 | 27F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 12:36:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vx5kd/dae_rate_food_to_remind_your_future_self_that_it/
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This morning I was overwhelmed by all the breakfast options (my kitchen was like a minefield after my 37-hour fast). I couldn't decide if I wanted to try some fancy egg thing, english muffins, waffles, nothing but coffee, lunch for breakfast, ??? Ended up doing lunch-for-breakfast (180 cal wrap) and english muffins with sugar free jam (120 cal) as the "fun" thing.
Turns out... the muffins were underwhelming. So I spent my eating and post-eating time assessing my day and deciding which items I really don't need to get excited about tomorrow lol.
Anyone else keep records like this to filter out food choices for your future self?
Am I the only overweight person not encouraged into ED behaviors?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 12:31:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vx460/am_i_the_only_overweight_person_not_encouraged/
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I read all these posts where "no one cares if you have an ED when you're fat," encouraging heavy restriction/fasting/fast weight loss- but all my friends still tell me to eat more when i just ticked back into obese. I mean its nice that they care, but kinda wish people were encouraging me like i want them to.
idk what the point of this post is
tonight is gonna be my first time to weigh in months. but today i fucked up
/u/fruitsaladsthrowaway
Created: Sat Nov 10 12:20:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vx0zd/tonight_is_gonna_be_my_first_time_to_weigh_in/
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i thought itd be a good idea to plan a binge day, to take out one day after months of good hard work where i would eat all the trash id been craving for so long. i bought it all at the Grocery store. i couldnt bring myself to eating it. i ate a bit and purged. then afterwards i tried again (bc otherwise itd be wasted money and a wasted cheatday) and purged again. then i went to a cousin's birthday. had to eat cake, bean soup and bread. so fucking stuffed right now, i wanna purge again. i'm such a wreck, i've never had such a bad day before. my appetite has decreased so much since i started restricting and i barely binge. a half meal completely fills me up.
i think i'm gonna eat a bit of binge food at the babysitting house, purge, (including the cake and beans and stuff, i cant stand feeling full) workout, weigh myself, drink tea to soothe my throat and maybe some lemon water to boost my metabolism. i'll be fasting tomorrow.
[Other] Vegan too
/u/Cabbagepatchkitty
Created: Sat Nov 10 12:10:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwxwm/vegan_too/
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https://i.redd.it/ccgib6ugyjx11.jpg
[Help] hypothetical question but also not really and I need your help
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Sat Nov 10 12:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwx9n/hypothetical_question_but_also_not_really_and_i/
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let’s say someone got high, binged their face off, made the mistake to pick up the phone and text back, stupidly made a dick appointment for later thinking they’d be sober by then, tried to get the food up for an hour, failed, is sobering up and sadly also fucking bloated and fat from eating that much but can’t cancel on this thing?
hoooow could one get their stomach at least a little bit less huge in a few hours without purging?
UH FELLAS MY B/P SESSION WAS RUUUINED
/u/sorrowfulspookyghost [5'4 | 112.8 |19.6 | sw 180| Female]
Created: Sat Nov 10 11:59:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwum5/uh_fellas_my_bp_session_was_ruuuined/
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SO I WALKED DOWN INTO MY ROOM WITH A BOWL OF TOFU/VEGGIES/CHEESE/SPICES IN MY HAND AND MY BROTHER WALKS OUT OF MY BATHROOM WITH A WEIRD LOOK ON HIS FACE AND
I THOUGHT HE FOUND OUT I WAS PURGING AFTER I DIDNT CLEAN WELL ENOUGH OR SOMETHIN
BUT
NO
EVEN WORSE
he. Saw. A. Centipede. Crawl. Into. My. Bathroom. And. Underneath. The. Crawlspace. Connected.
I walked upstairs and dumped the food and am shook because oh no no no I am not going back into that bathroom lmao bye
Breakfast
/u/MZTIA99
Created: Sat Nov 10 11:52:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwsnd/breakfast/
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https://i.redd.it/4vl1mbh9vjx11.jpg
It’s one of those days
/u/FavorFusion
Created: Sat Nov 10 11:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwr60/its_one_of_those_days/
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I started of great. Lowest weight in a year. Had broccoli for breakfast, then carrots.
And then I binged and purged and I’m binging again. I feel so sad and miserable. I keep telling myself I will not feel better after but I still can’t control it.
I want to cry and hide and hurt.
My life is falling apart and this feels like the only 'control' I have.
/u/NopeEwNotThat
Created: Sat Nov 10 11:39:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwon5/my_life_is_falling_apart_and_this_feels_like_the/
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My ex left two...no, fuck, three months ago because Im a depressed distant piece of shit now.
I was laid off indefinitely on Friday, perfect timing for the holidays.
I had to sell my car to make rent because paying for the living expenses of my ex and our babies drained everything I have.
All utilities are on shutoff notice and I don't know what Im going to do about it.
BUT, I've lost 4lbs so far this month and Im 1lb away from being a normal bmi for the first time since middle school, and that my friends is keeping my sanity in tact.
Sorry, this is a throwaway and everyone irl thinks everything is all fine and fucking dandy so Im ranting here. Love y'all lots.
[Rant/Rave] Tried to paint myself as part of therapy, ended up hating myself more 🙃
/u/gingerbiscuity [5'5 | 112 | 18.60 | F/25]
Created: Sat Nov 10 11:36:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwny0/tried_to_paint_myself_as_part_of_therapy_ended_up/
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https://i.redd.it/paxk0abhsjx11.jpg
[Help] Should I eat before I drink tonight???
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Sat Nov 10 11:20:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwj3j/should_i_eat_before_i_drink_tonight/
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So basically as the title says I am supposed to be drinking tonight with my boyfriend and I want to get pretty drunk, but also I don’t want to consume calories. Obviously if I don’t eat then I’ll get drunk on less calories, but also risk getting too drunk. Any advice as to what I should do? I really don’t want to eat anything today because I’ve planned a binge for tomorrow, but I feel like my boyfriend might make me eat. Please help.
[Other] Read a very interesting (albeit long) story on r/nosleep today
/u/Cocoleia [5'7 | CW ? | GW 111 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 11:08:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwfhe/read_a_very_interesting_albeit_long_story_on/
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I know we're not supposed to link to other subs, but it is really not meant to be at all in a negative way, if this still violates rule #5 then delete it, just thought others on here would like to read the story. I will post the link
[https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/9vrx90/fatty/](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/9vrx90/fatty/)
​
​
I found it interesting. Gives a unique perspective.
[Rant/Rave] Lmao change of motive or added motivation?
/u/music_saves_me [5'3F | CW:106 | BMI:18.8|GW:100| UGW:95lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:54:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vwb9j/lmao_change_of_motive_or_added_motivation/
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Yesterday I weighed myself for the first time (at work where they have a scale), in a couple of weeks and Im down to 104!!
Like only four more pounds 'til my goal weight?? It's actually attainable??????
Anyways, my boyfriend picks me up and I tell him how I weigh a lot less than I thought- like I'm legitimately thinking I was weighing 108-110 and out of curiosity I ask him what he thinks I weigh, to which he responds 110 .-.
That was the fucking motivation I needed to continue on my 36 hr fast and to stick to my calorie limit for the times I do eat.
L
I
k
e
wow I really look like that. Ive been \*feeling\* good for the first time but now I have the motivation to continue to lose. But somethings different now. I don't want to lose solely for my own satisfaction of being thin but now I want others to notice. I want the slightly sickly look of being underweight. Ugh ED's fucking suck.
"No, I've already eaten today"
/u/erikafei [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:38:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vw6hg/no_ive_already_eaten_today/
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My friend (who I think has an ED too but we haven't outrightly admitted to each other) reminded me I said this a few months ago when someone asked me if I had had dinner yet. She was laughing at it, but it took me a while to see what was strange about it. Oops.
[Other] Bout time
/u/dortuh [🍟5'8" | 113.5 lb | BMI 17.3 |25/ F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:37:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vw6ap/bout_time/
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https://i.redd.it/jyne6cmwhjx11.png
[Rant/Rave] I just want to wither away
/u/mmblarg
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:37:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vw69v/i_just_want_to_wither_away/
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I have nothing of worth to this world. I’m a complete failure. But maybe if I wither down to nothing I’ll at least be pleasant to look at while I take up space....
I’m sorry for always dumping my feelings here but I appreciate those of you who take the time to listen...
[Discussion] How to deal with parents cooking you dinner ??
/u/woulddieforabba
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:35:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vw5oq/how_to_deal_with_parents_cooking_you_dinner/
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So I still live at home and I’ll be going to uni at the end of August and I’m dying to get to my GW by then but my parents insist on making me dinner every evening and I can’t refuse. They kind of know I have an ED but no way would I be open about it to them so I can’t exactly cook dinner with them and count the calories etc. I’ve no idea what to do, I can’t eat during the day because I don’t know how many calories is in the dinner so I’m too afraid to eat anything else.
[Discussion] For the love of caffeine.
/u/skelekey
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:24:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vw2dh/for_the_love_of_caffeine/
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(Not promoting what I do, it’s highly dangerous, just sharing something that made me happy)
I am heavily reliant on caffeine, and suffer from chronic fatigue. I usually take caffeinated diet pills, along with my adderall in the mornings. And even then I usually take a nap around 2-5pm
I usually have some kind of coffee, but I don’t like the drinking process, I like the taste and caffeine more than anything. I can’t afford Starbucks, so I was looking on amazon for caffeinated gum/chews/snacks.
Behold. Military Energy Gum. 100 fucking mg of caffeine PER PIECE. Holy shit I’m in love. It’s a little bitter (cause of all the caffeine) but it goes away when you absorb all the caffeine. You only have to chew for 15 minutes, but I usually chew for an hour or so. Since it’s not absorbed by the stomach, it’s almost instantaneously absorber through the blood vessels in the mouth.
I wish I would’ve discovered this sooner!! Is anyone else totally reliant on caffeine? I get migraines if I don’t have any throughout the day. I feel like it’s a common theme for EDs though, along with nicotine and stuff like that.
A shout out to SO's who always say the worst possible thing
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:18:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vw0l7/a_shout_out_to_sos_who_always_say_the_worst/
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Finally screwed up the courage to weigh myself this morning. After a day of 4 b/p cycles, I lost 2lbs. I'm legit shook. I don't want to lose on b/p, it's just going to encourage me. I told my husband, I'm worried. His response was a flippant "well, sure glad you can afford to waste all that food." No, asshole. I can't afford it, but thanks for *that* being your knee jerk response. Did not begining able to afford booze years ago stop you from drinking yourself nearly to death or did you fucking pawn everything you owned to get your next drink?
I'm almost not even glad to be at my lowest weight in over a year. I'm recovered enough to not let this interaction influence my eating today but *why* am I struggling again?
[Discussion] Well meaning food workers who give you extra portions w/o being asked?
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Sat Nov 10 10:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvuyj/well_meaning_food_workers_who_give_you_extra/
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I’m not ungrateful or mean about it but it’s always unpleasantly surprising even though I act/am grateful at such a kind and thoughtful gesture but usually I restrict and when I order something, I order a specific size or meal and am prepared for that specific size or meal so when I get extra, I’m always a little bit concerned with the extra intake.
Today’s example is that I “ordered” a literal sample at Starbucks. They’re tiny cups, really, barely any bigger than a shot glass. However; the barista gave me a grande! How kind! Seriously!!
However; I have an eating disorder and asked for a sample literally to get a very small version of the drink I was “treating” myself too lol.
In rare moments, I have the desire to trash it but I hate wasting food which personally has to do with me growing up poor so I can’t really bring myself to throw things away.
When it’s not drinks I usually share or give it to a friend.
Does this happen to anyone else and when it does, what do you do?
I hate going out to dinner
/u/anyeducation [5'9"|179lbs|BMI 26.4|-25 lbs|20 F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:51:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvsc2/i_hate_going_out_to_dinner/
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(Warning: rant)
A group of friends and I went out to dinner last night. I was already incredibly anxious about this but I had read the menu online and was prepared to order a soup, and I had planned to purge at the restaurant after eating.
While we were waiting for our table, we somehow got to talking about tortoises and how at camp as a kid, a zookeeper came and allowed kids to stand on a tortoise's back because they can support like 200 pounds and my best friend says "were you 200 pounds in the 6th grade?" And I said "no, I'm not even 200 pounds now" and she said "are you sure about that?"
That hit me like a stab to the chest and my face immediately fell and I got quiet. My friend immediately tries to apologize and tell me she loves me, but I could tell she was only doing it to save face and not look like a jerk in front of our other friends. It consumed me and I felt like I was going to cry but somehow I pulled myself together and was okay.
Next, when we were seated and started looking at the menus, I noticed that they didn’t serve the soup that I had picked out when I had checked the menu online. I started panicking really badly and quickly looking through the menu for other things to eat. Finally, I settled on two sides.
Finally, after the meal was done, I headed to the bathroom and started to purge, but of course I hear three of my friends come into the bathroom right after me. So I couldn’t. And they told me to hurry up and stood there and waited for me. It stressed me out so badly that I couldn’t finish and had to hurry home to finish purging and I’m pretty sure I missed my window of opportunity to purge and I’m so upset about it.
Moral of the story: I’m never going out to eat again.
[Rant/Rave] Wasteful
/u/blackberryhoney
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:51:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvsby/wasteful/
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I have a really hard time avoiding eating foods when I also at the same time am neurotic about them going bad. Especially fresh food.
That lettuce is going to go bad in two days and you WASTED money.
But I'm not hungry, fuck off.
It goes way back to how I was raised where even if I was full my family would yell at me for not clearing my full plate at dinner. Gee, wonder where the binge eating came from when you disconnect the feeling of being full with stopping eating.
Even if I buy all safe and healthy foods I have to resist not prioritizing just eating for the sake of saving it all from going bad versus not.
Also, if I ask for something simple like a bag of carrots I often get my husband coming back with THE LARGEST BAG OR THREE BECAUSE iT wAs On Sale!1! Like fuck you Costco, I can't have large bags of things in the house.
And it just justifies my binges.
​
​
​
[Rant/Rave] Me when I promised myself I wouldn’t eat anything today until 5pm but it’s not even 9am and I have 280/700 left on MFP
/u/quentintarrantino
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:45:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvqqo/me_when_i_promised_myself_i_wouldnt_eat_anything/
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https://i.redd.it/198sno8q8jx11.jpg
I hate the deeper hunger
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:44:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvqbw/i_hate_the_deeper_hunger/
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I’ve been at 900-1000 a day for a few weeks now without bingeing. Which is a good 12-1300 under my TDEE. And I’m at a point that even if I eat a normal person meal as an omad (Like I ate some sweet potato, rice, avo and tastybite lentils) I still feel hungry. But it’s different than normal hunger, it’s like a big stomachache. I’ve pnly gotten it when I haven’t eaten normally for awhile
Came back - lost 4.4 pounds in 6 days!
/u/annievancookie
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:21:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvjgr/came_back_lost_44_pounds_in_6_days/
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I've been lurking this subreddit during last week. After 6 years being recovered from anorexia I've gained SIXTY pounds from the GW I had reached at that time. My weight used to be 100 pounds, 5.41 height. After trying to lose weight in different ways (different from starving) such as exercising a lot and eating different things aaanddd I gave up because I couldn't lose anything nor see any progress.
I've started restricting 6 days ago, eating between 500 and 1000 calories a day, most of them from fruit and veggies, I don't feel I am restricting that much as it used to be the last time I restricted myself. Calories from veggies are so low that I can eat until I'm full with no more than 250 calories!
And well, I've lost 4.4 pounds in this short time :) I still have way more to go away but it's the first step and I wanted to share it with you. Thanks!
Why can't I be satisfied??
/u/theworstbarinphilly
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:17:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvib6/why_cant_i_be_satisfied/
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I've never posted before but I'm starting to feel desperate... and confused and psycho. For the past few months I've finally reached size 0! which was extremely exciting!... but that feeling was SO fleeting. Then I reached 00!!!!...and I'm still not satisfied. I know I SHOULD gain weight, or at least focus on getting a healthy mindset... But I WANT to lose more weight. I look in the mirror and I SEE that I'm skinny, but I don't KNOW that I'm skinny. Like I was looking through old pictures when I felt really skinny and I was DISGUSTED. I can't believe my friends let me walk around... IN PUBLIC! God I thought I was a hot piece of shit too lmao. So now that I've lost weight since then I think "yeah but you thought you were skinny then too" If that resonates with anyone... I think I'm looking for outside validation from my friends (but actually concern?!). I just want someone to ask if I'm alright. I guess I'm just posting to get this off my chest and see if I'm actually crazy or preaching to the choir.
Thanks for listening.
I drunk 2,000 calories worth of alcohol in 3 hours.
/u/Ewimfat
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:11:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvgrl/i_drunk_2000_calories_worth_of_alcohol_in_3_hours/
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I’m an average person who enjoys a drink but ends up binge drinking every time i do, I’ve gotten black out drunk 5 times so far in November and it’s only the 10th but I never thought about the calories in alcohol. I regret searching it up. Those 18 units I drank last night (Mainly vodka) was almost 2,000 calories and I’ve drunk around the same (But cider or wine so much worse) all the other times so without alcohol maybe I would be skinny?
Who knows, I like alcohol too much to stop drinking so I’ll stop eating instead.
[Rant/Rave] I can’t stop binging *whale noise*
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Sat Nov 10 09:03:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvece/i_cant_stop_binging_whale_noise/
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Lmao I don’t know if anyone remembers my last post - but I talked about how I’d been binging for ages bc I was with my bf (that week was worth it! So loved up and happy :’) ) but then came home and promised I’d meet up with my friend on Wednesday so i went fuck it - I’ll binge til then. WeLL I didn’t fucking stop binging on Thursday. Im still binging today and I’m going on a family lunch tomorrow so it’s gonna carry on 😩 I genuinely feel like a fucking whale - so huge and disgusting, I genuinely won’t wear most of my clothes bc I don’t feel good enough to wear them which is only making myself feel worse tbh. Rip.
Hope and pray for me that I actually get my shit together on Monday and don’t binge next week 😩😭
And Rocky Collapsed In The Corner
/u/RichardStarrkey [6'0 | CW:FAT | GW:55kg | M]
Created: Sat Nov 10 08:58:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvcty/and_rocky_collapsed_in_the_corner/
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Anorexia is an addiction we know well. Even if you're not with it, you know it's a drug. You wake up thinking about it. The sweat. It's a cold morning. The sun is out. You feel bloated or bare. There's something you need. A hit, a drink, or tea.
You're obsessed and at one point you've tried to hide it from yourself and others. I'm not sick, you say. I'm perfectly fine. Though in the mind's eye, it goes, I'll be perfect soon. Someday if not tomorrow. All I need to get there is another hit, a drink, or tea.
What if you don't get it? What if you missed an opportunity to have it? You get anxious. It's in your head now. The hunger, the thirst. You don't care what goes on around. In your eyes there's something lacking. You start a reason, surely, you'll be spared tonight and, tomorrow, well, can wait. Then you have it anyway. A hit, a drink, or tea.
Chicken soup served with regret. White Russian and shame. Crushed longing, glimmering of what looks to be the sun. It isn't paradise. Paradise isn't cold. It's a hit, a drink, or tea.
It hurts you to shake with want. You were bitter once, remember? Just an hour ago you said goodbye to your friends, family, and humanity. You waved walking, then you ducked into a corner, there's a spoon in your hand. What are you making?
A hit, a drink, or tea?
[Tip] Monk fruit sugar.
/u/karrierpigeon
Created: Sat Nov 10 08:54:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvboe/monk_fruit_sugar/
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How many of you know about monk fruit sugar? Taste a lot like regular sugar and it has zero calories and very few carbs. You can get it on amazing or whole foods is where I found mine.
[Help] yo wtf is wrong with me why don't I want recovery?
/u/harambelol
Created: Sat Nov 10 08:50:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vvam8/yo_wtf_is_wrong_with_me_why_dont_i_want_recovery/
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I know my anorexia is fucking me up physically because my heart shrank and I'm experiencing heart palpitations, muscle mass loss and hair loss. But somedays I just don't want to recover?
I know this sounds hella fucked up but I just feel like I look alright, not too skinny, not skinny enough for an intervention. And that my ED is probably fake, because if I want to eat, I can just eat and eat my way up to 3000 cals but then yknow self-control, don't want to trigger the binge eater in me.
I also feel that I like looking skinny lol wtf, this is the WEIRDEST part. I probably look shittier overall, than how I did at a higher weight, because I just look tired and dead and my hair is thinning but hey, I still won't fit the conventional standards of beauty so what's the point? At least if I'm skinny, then I've fulfilled my childhood dreams of wanting to be the thinnest in a room (yes, I was an overweight kid).
so wtf is wrong with me? I'm not trolling, I'm being genuinely serious because I know that I'm engaging in self destructive habits and I'm probably going to kill myself by restricting to the point where my heart shrinks even further and I go into a cardiac arrest. But I just, can't? won't? don't? need to recover???????? confusion help
How do people choose a goal weight that isn’t unhealthy?
/u/shamefulanon
Created: Sat Nov 10 08:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vv9ui/how_do_people_choose_a_goal_weight_that_isnt/
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My goal is always just “skinnier”
My BMI is 15.2-15.3 (5’7 and ~97.5 lbs)
I see people on 1200ip & other weight loss related forums having a weight goal in the middle of the healthy range. Shit, some people’s goals are at the top of the healthy range.. they just don’t want to be over weight
I want to be like fucking skinny as a pole with zero fat on my body
[Help] actually trying
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Sat Nov 10 08:31:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vv5kf/actually_trying/
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im actually trying to get better, ive been dealing with this fucker ED for 6 years now and im so tired
i had a moment last night with a friend, i just broke and they tried to talk to me about it but all i could do was cry
im trying to go to therapy again for this (although its really hard here since its a public institution so theres a lot of people looking for appointments) and im trying to eat a little bit more but im so scared
im scared to eat because i feel like im going to gain weight.
im scared ill eat one small thing and my body will try to purge on its own.
im scared ill eat one thing and end up eating the whole house.
im so scared of food.
i dont know how to do it, i know recovery might help (even tho its hard) but until i can get an appointment (which i dont know when itll be) im just so lost, i dont know how to normally eat, honestly.
and i wish my family could help me, i dont know how to tell them but i do know theyll be mad at me and yell at me and judge me.
so i pretty much want to recover but i dont know how or who i can trust.
[Rant/Rave] that post about VS models is weapons-grade hypocrisy
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 135 | GW 120]
Created: Sat Nov 10 08:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vv0yc/that_post_about_vs_models_is_weaponsgrade/
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won't say which sub because rules but I've seen so many comments there talking shit about girls with "ED behavior" and even saying that having a GW at lowest healthy BMI is a sign but then they call VS models (almost all underweight) "healthy and fit" and say things like you wouldn't use average to sell a car and that they worked hard to have that body
what's wrong with me working hard? what's wrong with me trying to be better than average?
VS is glamourizing unhealthy just as much as the plus sized models these guys like to make fun of, if not more
it's crazy how brainwashed they are to think that those girls should look like that despite being a community about seeing reason huh
What is your experience with antidepressants?
/u/CorrithLavellan [6'0" | 181.8 lb | 24.66/23.70 | -19.4 | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 08:07:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vuyyl/what_is_your_experience_with_antidepressants/
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I was officially diagnosed with "severe" anxiety and "severe" depression and my shrink said they think me taking something like prozac or zoloft will help get me back to normal and maybe help with my self image and all that good stuff.
I was looking at the side effects and both of them said may cause increased appetite. I already binge eat 5/7 days of the week, so I'm scared its just going to make it worse.
What did you experience when you started taking them? What are the the side effects? Did they help you?
I never knew I needed this.
/u/bunnyalert [62'' (167cm) | 164lbs (74kg) | F? :illuminati:]
Created: Sat Nov 10 07:30:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vupef/i_never_knew_i_needed_this/
---
https://imgur.com/sKS4qI1
Just ED things: Leaving potential fuck in order to get home in time for a planned binge
/u/greycat91
Created: Sat Nov 10 07:29:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vup5n/just_ed_things_leaving_potential_fuck_in_order_to/
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I’ve been planning a binge for a month and scheduled it for after this event I had last night. Met this really attractive, sweet guy who was definitely down for a one night stand and I had zero regrets abruptly leaving him so I get home and eat pop tarts😂
Am I wrong for thinking the calories I had yesterday were too high?
/u/peachsy
Created: Sat Nov 10 07:13:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vul58/am_i_wrong_for_thinking_the_calories_i_had/
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https://i.redd.it/v3a3u91hhix11.jpg
[Tip] How do I suspress my appetite besides taking EC stack pills?
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sat Nov 10 07:08:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vujz9/how_do_i_suspress_my_appetite_besides_taking_ec/
---
Wanna control my eating and eat less. i have been eating non stop after i came back from holiday trip. any tips, please?! aiming to lose two kg..
[Rant/Rave] HW after having runs for 24 hours TMI
/u/saltsplendasriracha [5'7"| CW 121 | GW 113 | +8 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 07:02:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vuieg/hw_after_having_runs_for_24_hours_tmi/
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How is it that my bowels literally empties yesterday but I’m a pound up? I’m already at my heighest weight in a year. The fuck am I doing wrong? My bf was going to come this weekend and I was going to go on a day trip with friends but I’m cancelling all of it.
[Goal] Anyone attempted body recomposition at goal weight?
/u/kitt_3n [5'2 | CW: 104 | BMI: 19 | GW: 97 | 20 F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 06:57:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vuhap/anyone_attempted_body_recomposition_at_goal_weight/
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Years and years of having an ED has not done any favours for my body composition - I don't know what my actual body fat percentage is but I know by looking at pictures of myself a couple of years ago, I have appeared thinner at higher weights than what I'm at currently.
I have a lot of fat around my thighs and I know that I really just need to cut calories for that to go away, but has anyone tried "stripping" themselves of body fat and then eating high protein/lifting/etc afterward to gain a bit of weight back in an attempt to look leaner? I'm worried that once I get to 97 I will lose motivation and be too tired to do this... I just feel so gross in my body and I feel like working on body composition is the only thing that would help.
[Other] pizza crust
/u/aha98 [160cm CW: ~129lbs LW: ~115lbs GW: 105lbs F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 06:37:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vucl3/pizza_crust/
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does anyone have a low calorie pizza crust recipe that doesn’t use cauliflower?
No-weigh November
/u/Ok_mini_ [5'0" | 104 | F | 24]
Created: Sat Nov 10 06:24:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vu9gh/noweigh_november/
---
I'm going to preface this post by explaining I'm not 100% sure what's wrong with me but it's some EDNOS with heavy restriction and binging (no purging but sometimes c/s.) My boyfriend is the only person who knows how badly my ED has evolved and is the one person I've been open with about it. Anyways, he has been incredibly understanding and supportive but he's obviously concerned. He keeps asking me to seek help. I know I need it, I want to get better but I'm stubborn and terrified to do it. *So*, I'm trying to make steps towards improvement on my own. I'm sure this is laughable towards my progress but I have discovered one thing that has been surprisingly helpful. I made up "no-weigh November." It has been 10 days and I have yet to step on the scale. I have successfully avoided the two scales in my home, the one at my climbing gym, the one at my crossfit gym, and the one at my best friends apartment. I haven't seen that fucking number in ten days. I have no idea if I've gained or loss. There is a constant source of anxiety clinging to the unknown. That being said, my self esteem has increased a little (I think.) That number is unknown and therefore my perceived self worth is unknown. In its absence I've had to formulate my value through other things like my performance while at the gym, my climbing ability and my relationships with friends and family. I'm not sure what will happen December 1st when I step on that scale but I wish to hate myself a little less by then. I'm hoping I'll be better able to separate my self worth from the digital numbers displayed on that damn screen. Wish me luck, I still have 20 more days.
Song that totally sums up my ED and my mixed love hate relationship with it (lyrics about medication but I totally think it can apply to fasting) such a happy song!
/u/Slippiditydippityash
Created: Sat Nov 10 06:21:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vu8sy/song_that_totally_sums_up_my_ed_and_my_mixed_love/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5JuwBu3eywI
[Rant/Rave] A bagel won’t change anything in the long run
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Sat Nov 10 06:17:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vu7rg/a_bagel_wont_change_anything_in_the_long_run/
---
I’m challenging myself to having a bagel with friends this morning and I’m scared but honestly FUCK THIS DISORDER.
Go out there and kick ass today everyone!! I believe in you ❤️
What to do with canned pumpkin?
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Sat Nov 10 06:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vu4bh/what_to_do_with_canned_pumpkin/
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I was feeling festive and bought a can of pumpkin, but I've no idea what to do with it. I hate savory pumpkin foods, but the only other recipes I can find are for pie and I don't have an oven😭
Anybody have a go-to pumpkin recipe they'd like to share? Preferably one that doesn't require an oven?
[Rant/Rave] Guess who's a fat disgusting pig?
/u/_koala_master_
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vu3po/guess_whos_a_fat_disgusting_pig/
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It's me! Surprise surprise... I started restricting properly again a few days ago and lost 10 pounds. Now the second I got home this weekend I started binging (talking ~5000 calories a day). I hate myself so fucking much
[Discussion] I've gone down a shoe size?!
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:46:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vu12o/ive_gone_down_a_shoe_size/
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Has this happened to anyone else?
Before I started to loose weight I was a UK size 4/ 4 and a half. I need a good new pair of smart/work shoes and ordered some from ASOS in a size 4 and they didn't fit. I assumed that's because it's online shopping, it's never the most accurate sizing.
So I went to the shops today and all the 4/ 4 and a halfs I tried on were too big. My heel would just slide on out when I tried to walk, just like the ASOS shoes.
So I tried a 3 and a half and it fit just right!
What's going on here?!
I don't know how to think about my body & not revert to ED habits
/u/tatapo
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtxcj/i_dont_know_how_to_think_about_my_body_not_revert/
---
Note: I wrote this all out because I so intensely need to talk about it and you all seem like a supportive community - some of it is pretty decidedly not "pro ED" (nor am I) but I don't mean any of it to offend you - I know you're all struggling in all kinds of different ways and don't want to hurt you.
I'm 27 years old. It's been 7 years since I had a full-blown ED or a BMI under 17. And in those 7 years, I've gained at least 50 lbs but probably more (can't weigh myself without spiraling out of control).
I am so deeply not interested in having an eating disorder. Not that anyone is, but you know what I mean - when you're in the throes of it, it can feel like what you want the most is to just retreat into it.
But over the course of 7 years and 50+ lbs, I've found that it's entirely impossible for me to remotely pay attention to my body without quickly beginning to think/behave in disordered ways. Weirdly, it starts with behaving in disordered ways, and that leads to thinking in disordered ways, not the other way around - or at least, that's what it feels like.
I strongly suspect this is because I never really "recovered." Instead, I stopped paying attention to my body at all. I never learned how to eat like a normal person. Being hungry made me feel scared and young again so I stopped letting myself feel hungry. I eventually started barely paying attention to calorie counts, except to occasionally be surprised at how weirdly caloric some of the food I put into my body anyways was. A few years ago, I started asking doctors if I could skip being weighed. I made a conscious decision that I'd rather be fat & happy than thin & miserable, and it felt (feels) like those were my only two options.
But then, after 7 whole fucking years, I think to myself: I don't feel good about my body and I want to feel good about it. I want to be healthy and strong. My body doesn't do what I want it to do. It has nothing to do with thinness, just health.
And yet within a couple weeks of simply restricting my calories to an amount that's supposedly "plenty" & making an attempt to eat more protein, I'm setting lower and lower goals for myself & playing games with calorie counts in my head. I'm watching loosely measured cups turn into kitchen scales and healthy 400-calorie meals turn into cups of broth or starving all day and then drinking vodka.
And as these things happen, I notice I'm staying up later & later each night obsessively tracking out calories/potential weight loss, putting my measurements into various kinds of calculators, moving from r/1200isplenty to r/proed (and now from lurking to posting!), binge-watching shows about super-obese people (and going from thinking "that's so sad" to "is that what will happen to me if I don't keep better track of my calories?" to "is that maybe what I look like?"). To the point that I called in sick to work three days this week because I was up all night obsessing over stupid bullshit I literally do not care about.
I genuinely don't want to be this person. I have a great job I get tons of praise for, and meaningful, intimate relationships, and I care about real shit now. I would be humiliated if I had to explain to anyone that I'm still struggling with the same patriarchal, narrowminded, basic ass beauty standards I was when I was 15.
I honestly think if I wanted to, I could snap out of this right now. I could choose to uninstall the weight-loss app from my phone, start buying the foods I like again, and leave the measuring tape in the drawer. But I also think if I did that, I would continue on the same path I was on before, steadily but slowly gaining weight because I can't look at myself without remembering how to hurt myself.
Anyone else experienced this? Any advice?
TLDR: r/1200isplenty is triggering af and no one there cares, I want to know how to be healthy but literally never have been as an adult, even when I thought I was, and I'd rather not be fat but should maybe consider it because I'm much more of a person that way
[Rant/Rave] Tiny update about the watch from my last post..
/u/crashbandiclit [23F | 5’4” | CW: 🍔 | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:13:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtuae/tiny_update_about_the_watch_from_my_last_post/
---
It fits a hole tighter today!! I could cry 😂 anyway carry on pls thank u
'Stupid Questions' Saturday! November 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:13:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtu8v/stupid_questions_saturday_november_10_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for November 10, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] Overly intrusive family friends
/u/xoxwoe [5 ft | female | goal: 90lb/40kg]
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vttvo/overly_intrusive_family_friends/
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Ok friends so my parents have been friends with a wasp of a woman since I was maybe around 7? Her and her husband are fairly older than my parents and I'm my parents culture (Pakistani) you pretty much have to show utmost devotion and respect to anyone who's older than you. So since this couple is slightly older the Pakistani community here in Auckland, NZ have to show them utmost and undivided respect; doesn't matter that they're impolite bigoted morons.
My childhood has been miserable because of this woman for a number of reasons which I won't go into because unrelated to this sub but just need to get her comments about mine and my younger brothers weight off my chest.
My brother and I were both underweight growing up and my parents have seen a doctor because of this and after blood tests etc the doctor found that we were both healthy and to not worry about the weight too much just have us maintain normal balanced diets and we should be fine. This woman has always thought she's welcome to make comments about our weight (and she was welcome my parents would never defend us; oh could you imagine the horror of defending your kids against someone making comments that are way out of line). She commented that I looked like a poverty ridden child from a unicef commercial or that my brother looks like a starving Ethiopian child (she's a racist too surprise surprise). She would even bring childhood photos to our house of her son and be like "look he was a much better looking child than you skeleton children" etc. She even advised my mum to mix butter or shortening into our meals to "fatten us up" mum never did this thank god but still acted like she would take her advice.
But anyway she moved to the US when I was about 12 to live with her son (and in turn ruin his marriage lmao) so she was fairly out of our lives since then. I'm now 20 and my brother is 16 and while he's been able to maintain a normal BMI by slaving away at the gym and eating with strict accordance to diets; my weight however fluctuates from underweight to normals due to hormonal issues and I can't control these fluctuations.
Earlier this year she was on the phone to my mother and was on speakerphone and she was talking about how she was looking at my mums Facebook photos of us the other day - the last time my mum uploaded photos of us as a family was during my 16th birthday and she said and I quote "[me] is getting so fat why would you allow your daughter to get so fat how will men ever be attracted to her now she looks disgusting" (btw for reference at the time of my birthday I was about 98lb and I'm 5 ft; I had a 19.1 BMI. BUT BITCH WEREN'T YOU THE ONE THAT SAID TO MIX BUTTER INTO MY MEALS TO FATTEN ME UP.
What's most upsetting is when I told my mum I was upset about this she was like oh you find every little issue with what people say she didn't mean any harm by her comments and when I argued that she's always been rude and comments about my weight are way out of like mum went off at me about how I shouldn't be speaking this way about someone who's older than me. My parents are also the ones who complain about why I have an unhealthy relationship with food and why I starve myself and why my brother slaves away at the gym. We wouldn't if you defended us for once in your life.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 10, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:09:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vttgb/daily_food_diary_november_10_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 10, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] How often do you guys weigh yourself?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 05:01:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtrvd/how_often_do_you_guys_weigh_yourself/
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I weigh myself every morning right after I wake up. Some people do it every week and I used to but not knowing made me binge and it felt like small progress.. no idea why.
Psychiatrist wont give me my ADD meds until I go to therapy
/u/MadamePoppycock [5'4 | 129 lbs | 21.7 | -70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 04:45:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtp0c/psychiatrist_wont_give_me_my_add_meds_until_i_go/
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My psychiatrist says she won't give me my Ritalin refill which I need to function until I go to therapy specifically for my ED. She says I need to go to an ED specific place, but I dont feel ready to recover. It terrifies me. My gut tells me that
a) I should go and tell them this
b) just go once and only once
c) lie about it all because of my severe social anxiety (calling someone? No way! But I really do not want to lie!!!)
D) tell psychiatrist that I am too busy/have too much on my mind (truth, car is at deaths door, rent takes all my income, so idk how. I'm gonna pay for that.im working and in school full time. Quit my 2nd job to help with that.)
E) actually go and tell them I do not feel ready, and continue to go despite the feeling and despite the desire to stay home occupying my self with b/ping and playing games. (Honestly what most people would say what is right)
Advice? What would all y'all do? If you're not ready, what would you do? Be honest. I'm torn up. I dont aang what people think is normal people version of right, but what they as an individual person would do.
Obese cousin is now skinnier than me
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Sat Nov 10 04:41:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vto80/obese_cousin_is_now_skinnier_than_me/
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She got the surgery and now she's skinnier than I am. I'm happy for her and hate myself.
[Rant/Rave] I just want a boyfriend.
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 04:35:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtn3q/i_just_want_a_boyfriend/
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I’ve never told this to anyone as it’s another insecurity of mine but I really want a boyfriend. I’m in high school right now and all my friends are either in a relationship or have crushes. And I’m here and I actually don’t know any guys.
To make things worse in the fattest one in my group and I know thats one of the reasons why I don’t have a boyfriend. I know for a lot of people it’s not a big deal but I would love to experience a high school romance, it feels like I’m missing a out on another thing because of my weight except it’s out of my control.
Recently one of my besties is getting into a relationship and they post cute pictures and shit together and it’s been making me restrict more..
Legit 99 percent of my problems could be solved by losing weight.
Existential anxiety
/u/juliawinderwander
Created: Sat Nov 10 04:26:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtlkw/existential_anxiety/
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I just wanted to start out by saying that this sub is the first time I have felt a connection to other people with issues with food. I am the DUFF of a group of skinny girls who act like food is the easiest thing in the world to control and it has been incredibly isolating. Thank you all for making me feel less alone in this world.
​
I started b/ping when I was 12 years old, and now I am 23 years old wondering now what. I started b/ping regularly (at least once a day) throughout high school, and in college I became much more aggressive about my purging after experiencing a traumatic event at school. At my worst I was purging multiple times a day.
​
​
In the last six months, I started my slow process to recovery. I still slip up once in a while, but am nowhere near as bad as I was. But now that my issues with binging have been more in control, I have seen a sudden increase in existential anxiety. I am starting to wonder how much damage I have truly done to my body and if I will ever be able to recover. By my estimates, I have been b/ping for 10-11 years and that scares me. Will I even make it past 30 with the damage I've done to my heart, throat, stomach, and teeth? I do not use laxatives or any other aids beside my toothbrush to purge, but I do occasionally use stimulants (no more than 2-3 times per month). Lately, I go to bed wondering if I will wake up due to the damage done by my ED and the stress is eating me inside.
​
Fellow B/Pers, how long have you survived this disorder?
[Discussion] DAE find some diet subs showing unhealthy ED behaviours?
/u/ryanhennessy91
Created: Sat Nov 10 04:17:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtjux/dae_find_some_diet_subs_showing_unhealthy_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/p19g5dc2mhx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Illogical Thinking
/u/_Pulltab_ [67"| 155| 24.3| -50 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:50:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtf6t/illogical_thinking/
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Someone I’ve become friendly with but don’t know super well disclosed in an addictions recovery meeting i attend that they have an ED. My heart simultaneously broke for them, and at the same time, my brain started calculating how I can restrict even more. Because, logic, ya’ll.
[Intro] Long overdue introduction
/u/cattivity
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:42:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtdzv/long_overdue_introduction/
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I feel like I've been making up the bulk of a lot of posts here, most of them just ranty nonsense. I totally forgot introduction posts were a thing but I definitely don't wanna be a stranger.
I'm an almost 20 year old female, finishing up high school late as fuuuuck.
I don't have an ED diagnosis but I know I definitely have disordered eating behaviors and I've hated my appearance since I was a kid and that's definitely fed into it. It's kind of spiraled since I discovered CICO. Which is a shame because it's so useful and reliable (I mean it's literally just science after all). I have bpd, depression, anxiety and ADHD.
What else is there to say?
I love cats, I like art and drawing (not v good at it tho) and I'm pretty shy, even over the internet lmao. I'm also a total slut for astrology, even though I don't fully believe in it now, it's still lots of fun!
Anyway, I'm glad to a part of supportive, open, and like-minded (kind of unfortunately, lol) individuals! (:
Anyone on Peach?
/u/cattivity
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:34:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtcoz/anyone_on_peach/
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I'm new to the app but my name is realsadflower if anyone wants to add me!
I'm p lame and I mostly just bitch on here but it would be cool to have people to coexist with and relate to! Drop your names if you want me 2 add u
Ready to Recover?
/u/killercatz7420
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:29:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtbxn/ready_to_recover/
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Anybody ever wake up some days and feel like they are ready to get rid of their ED? Sometimes I’ll have days where I’ll wake up and feel like I can eat normally and have my old life again. But then my ED will always come back and bite me in the butt to tell me its not finished with me yet. I hate how controlling this disorder is. Why does it literally run my life?
[Rant/Rave] DAE genetically store fat in their stomach
/u/lighghtup [5'7" | 164 | 25.5 | 19F | -18 | thicc]
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:28:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtbqh/dae_genetically_store_fat_in_their_stomach/
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literally the biggest reason i fell into disordered eating was because i was (still am, who am i kidding) chasing the apparently mythical flat stomach.
unfortunately for ya girl no matter how much i lose/restrict/purge my stomach never changes !!! wtf body!! literally everything else shrinks but not that :(
are there actually people out there that exist that do not store fat in their gut automatically or lose fat there first?
[Discussion] How do you guys deal with bloat?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:22:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vtapg/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_bloat/
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Not sure if bloat is the correct way to put it but I basically had a huge and very carb heavy dinner and then had two large glasses of tea. I can’t poop since I went like twice today and I feel so sick. My stomach feels like it’s about to burst. How do you guys deal with this other than using laxatives??
It's finally hitting me....(tmiiiii)
/u/cattivity
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:10:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vt8r3/its_finally_hitting_metmiiiii/
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Bruh
I took miralax, dulcolax, senna tea and just tonight magnesium citrate all in the past week because I could not for the life of me, manage to shit. I think it's all hitting me at once.
I'm basically peeing from my asshole omg
I'm so happy though I'm finally getting rid of all this waste and I begin my 24 hour fast, clean and empty.
Wish me luck tho it's 2 am and I might fall asleep on the toilet I'm so exhausted 😭
[Other] Party coming up.
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Sat Nov 10 03:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vt7qu/party_coming_up/
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I had a Cheat Day yesterday, ate a LOT but feel relatively okay about it. Because of feeling full Still, I havent had much to eat today, and hoping that feeling Will persist, cause there's a party. Maybe Maybe I can stick to Wine and cheese?
[Discussion] Question for other gay proEDs
/u/FameuxCelebrite [5’6M | CW: 140 | GW: 120 | -40 lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 10 02:56:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vt6ht/question_for_other_gay_proeds/
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Do any other gay proEDs feel like the gay community strongly encourages eating disorders? I’m in a normal weight as a 140 lb 5’6 male but compared to other gay guys on tinder and Grindr in the area I’m huge.
[Rant/Rave] My SO left me unattended while ordering delivery last night.
/u/catamongthecrows
Created: Sat Nov 10 02:21:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vt0w1/my_so_left_me_unattended_while_ordering_delivery/
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I was gonna get us a pizza. He left for 5 minutes while I put the order in. I got a pizza (large, stuffed crust of course), cheese bread, and cinnamon sticks. With icing. Ate so much the only thing keeping me from puking (involuntarily) was passing out in a miserable food coma. I feel all the regret this morning 😅 Self control level 0.
[Help] Help me with the lose it app please!
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 02:20:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vt0py/help_me_with_the_lose_it_app_please/
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Probably a super dumb question but is there any way to change the display from kilojoules to show calories instead?? I prefer looking at calorie count and don’t feel like constantly converting.
whining
/u/iloveufionaapple
Created: Sat Nov 10 02:19:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vt0mt/whining/
---
i hate having no energy :( i feel guilty that i’m probably destroying my body slowly...its also so fucking annoying to literally always be hungry. i feel like a failure.
Oh
/u/imayimight
Created: Sat Nov 10 01:40:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsulp/oh/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/intrusivethoughts/comments/9vpfzh/you_could_cut_open_your_body_and_remove_the_fat/
[Other] Craving that KFC
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Sat Nov 10 01:36:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vstyh/craving_that_kfc/
---
I'm 16 hours into my first 24 hour fast and watching Gavin and Stacey.
The scene with Smithy and Nessa eating KFC is making me soooo hungry. Especially they way they describe it hahaha.
8 more hours to go...
[Help] how do i get my period back??
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 149 | 20.84 | -27]
Created: Sat Nov 10 01:14:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsqgk/how_do_i_get_my_period_back/
---
i’m 4 days late & losing my shit that im pregnant. i cannot handle a child & wouldn’t be able to abort so i’m really flipping out. we used condoms & pulling out combined so i know it’s unlikely but some online thing said precum could’ve gotten through a microscopic hole and im SOLD LMAO
not sure if i’m late cuz stress, pregnancy, ed, or the yeast infection i have but how do i trigger it bavk
[Rant/Rave] hey i probably ate like 3-4k calories today
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 01:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsqfm/hey_i_probably_ate_like_34k_calories_today/
---
but i’m kinda not mad bc that gives me an excuse to do my longest fast ever? i’ve been attempting to restrict and it doesn’t really work, so i’ve decided that i’m gonna fast from friday-monday. i’m excited because i haven’t had motivation like this in a while. i’m away from my scale but i know i’m probably like 104 with all this water/food weight and any number over 100 makes me legitimately suicidal so i kinda hope i pass out and die this week because i’m disgusting and can’t control myself! see y’all in hell
[Rant/Rave] Well, I did wanna binge
/u/Funktionierende
Created: Sat Nov 10 01:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vspua/well_i_did_wanna_binge/
---
Then I watched Season 13, episode 21 of Grey's Anatomy. Girl with worms. Like, a lot of worms. Oh God, so many worms. I may never eat again. I've never watched this season before and I was so not prepared.
You're welcome.
Or I'm sorry.
Either way.
Major appetite killer.
*Eurghhhh*
[Rant/Rave] ED fueled nightmare
/u/QueenOfAwfulChoices [5'4" | CW:115 | BMI:19.7 | GW:invisible | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 01:06:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsp3r/ed_fueled_nightmare/
---
Some days I think I have things under control... other days I wake up in a cold sweat at 3am because I had a nightmare that my super hero, Vanilla Coke Zero, actually had 63 calories in it.
I swear... one of the most vivid dreams of my life. I could see and feel the can in my hand. And I checked the label because... habit, even for diet soda. And the label said 63 freaking calories! I jolted awake in a panic and checked my diet soda stores for sweet sweet zeros.
Anyway. It’s 3 am and I’m too amped up to sleep because I had a nightmare about diet soda. Which is a sentence I never could have imagined uttering. Guess I just wanted to share with people who’d understand...
[Rant/Rave] one of my friends literally tried to feed me as a joke
/u/lighghtup [5'7" | 164 | 25.5 | 19F | -18 | thicc]
Created: Sat Nov 10 00:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsngq/one_of_my_friends_literally_tried_to_feed_me_as_a/
---
amongst my friends, i’m always known for skipping meals but bc i’m a Healthy Weight™️ the idea of ED never comes to their minds
but one of my friends literally got a forkful of cake and tried to feed it to me to mock how i wasn’t eating and i’m literally so triggered
[Help] Don't purge don't purge don't purge
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW: 123 | HW: 160 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 10 00:32:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsj97/dont_purge_dont_purge_dont_purge/
---
I just at over 4k in 2 hours, my belly is so sure it'll help it so much if I purge...but I'm trying to recover. I'm trying to stop purging. Why did I do this? I don't know if I can stop myself. Gonna delete this later I'm so ashamed
5 more pounds until I hit 102 but I keep sabotaging myself
/u/ucsbbound
Created: Sat Nov 10 00:23:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vshmq/5_more_pounds_until_i_hit_102_but_i_keep/
---
Literally break my fitness routine after like 3 days and binge on 600+ calories. I just want a tiny waist...fuck
[Discussion] DAE set calorie goals that they are not actually comfortable achieving
/u/sadboyofearth
Created: Sat Nov 10 00:20:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsh8b/dae_set_calorie_goals_that_they_are_not_actually/
---
Lately my calorie goal has been around 700-900 and I’ve been trying to convince myself that anything under 1000 is okay and a lot of people talk about maintenance calories and I’ve tried to think that would be okay but it’s all black and white in my head about this and I believe that if I’m not losing weight I am gaining. Anyways I literally had 703 calories today and even though that is in my goal and on the low end it feels like a failure because I really want it to be less than 600 but like I’m trying to not be crazy.
[Rant/Rave] The mirror gets my self esteem up, but the camera brings it right down in the gutter.
/u/SimDelCalSalBris [5’6” | SW : 130 | CW : 125 | GW : 100 | UGW : 95 | Female]
Created: Sat Nov 10 00:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsdqu/the_mirror_gets_my_self_esteem_up_but_the_camera/
---
So I’ve managed to lose weight steadily over the past few weeks (barring the random binge), and I started to like how I look in mirrors, and not just one specific, stretching mirror.
But I was at this event, and I HATE a couple of pictures that were taken.
I’m wondering if it’s possible that I’ve got a weird kind of body dysmorphia where I think I look thinner than I do when I look in the mirror and the photos are how I ACTUALLY look? God, everything’s fucked.
[Other] DAE start their fast timer the second they swallow their last OMAD bite?
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Fri Nov 9 23:59:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vsd7c/dae_start_their_fast_timer_the_second_they/
---
Also I may have binged for my OMAD and am in serioussss binge pain.
[Discussion] Sooo are we gonna talk about the VS show?
/u/nowayjoseTA
Created: Fri Nov 9 23:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vs4qg/sooo_are_we_gonna_talk_about_the_vs_show/
---
[Discussion] DAE self sabotage once they get close to their goal weight?
/u/snackqueen18 [5’7” | CW 136 | GW ? | F25 |]
Created: Fri Nov 9 23:08:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vs3zk/dae_self_sabotage_once_they_get_close_to_their/
---
I have been 2 pounds away from my UGW of 130 for an ENTIRE MONTH. Everytime I step on the scale and see that I am 1 or 2 pounds away my brain freaks the fuck out and I end up binging for two days. So then I spend the next week working off the binge and I am right back where I started.
any trans people that think gender identity triggered their ed?
/u/psychopathetick
Created: Fri Nov 9 22:58:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vs20d/any_trans_people_that_think_gender_identity/
---
body image issues with wanting to be feminine i think is what caused my eating disorder. always thought my waist was too wide and i'm too boy-shaped. biceps too big etc. i can see it being the other way around too, girls having curves guys don't. anyone else out there?
[Other] how the turn tables....
/u/ap0cryphal [5’3 | CW 123.9 | GW 110]
Created: Fri Nov 9 22:51:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vs0l2/how_the_turn_tables/
---
I was thinking about buying a food scale recently when I remembered that I already have one. two years ago, I bought it to measure weed. at the time, I thought “if anyone asks about it, I’ll just say it’s to measure food for cooking!”
meanwhile, now that I’ve stopped smoking and started obsessing over calories, I’m thinking “if anyone asks me why I have it, I’ll say it’s to measure weed!” lol
[Help] Drunkorexic question
/u/_idealixtic
Created: Fri Nov 9 21:42:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vrlr9/drunkorexic_question/
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as counter productive as it is, I typically don’t count calories from alcohol. And I *technically* just broke my fast with a beer (probably to be followed by many many more) but since I don’t count the calories from alcohol anyway, did I really break my fast? 🤔
do you use drugs to lose weight?
/u/rosewhip96
Created: Fri Nov 9 21:33:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vrjup/do_you_use_drugs_to_lose_weight/
---
i've recently been into the idea of kratom since it makes me so incredibly nauseous that i can't eat. i like weed better, but the munchies were a nightmare. and i've heard of people with EDs doing coke or smoking to lose weight. is that common?
[Discussion] does anyone else smoke to suppress appetite?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | relapse rabbit | gw 97 | 23f]
Created: Fri Nov 9 21:33:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vrjte/does_anyone_else_smoke_to_suppress_appetite/
---
i smoke durban poison often because it's energizing and makes me totally forget about food (also when i'm high i just like....zone out and can't be bothered to eat lmao)
anyone else have strains they smoke for appetite suppression?
I feel sad and rejected:)
/u/essentialmeerkat
Created: Fri Nov 9 21:32:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vrji3/i_feel_sad_and_rejected/
---
which means I either binge or starve and the fact that I'm unable to predict which is stressing me out.
[Discussion] Why do I feel like I’m on My 600lb life
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 21:10:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vreq1/why_do_i_feel_like_im_on_my_600lb_life/
---
God, I know this sounds horrible. They’re really suffering and fucking obviously I’m not 600 pounds or even close to overweight at all but god damnit
I feel like the second I eat anything be it a ‘normal meal’ on the rare occasion I can manage that as an OMAD/TMAD, or just anything at all- I feel like I /am/ at that weight. For some reason I feel like I have to be ‘above’ needing food or else I’ll instantly become... that. My worst nightmare.
Panic and fear fills me and I just get so guilty and feel ridiculous all at the same time. Why do I mentally gain 500 pounds after eating a stupid salad?? Please ugh I’m sick of this
it’s so hard to fight a binge after already fucking up for the day
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Fri Nov 9 21:04:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vrdai/its_so_hard_to_fight_a_binge_after_already/
---
like i’ve already gone over my calorie limit so fuck it. but also 1000-1500 cals is better than 2000-2500.
i’m about to get high though so probably will just give in after that and say tomorrow’s a new day. love fucking up any progress i make haha
I accidentally ate 1200 calories of macadamia nuts
/u/cancookaroast [179cm | CW: 80kg | BMI: 24.9 | WL: 17kg | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 21:02:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vrczh/i_accidentally_ate_1200_calories_of_macadamia_nuts/
---
Omg I didn't know they had SO many calories! I knew they were calorie dense but I was expecting ~600 for 150g.
NOPE
Last time I satisfy thay craving 😭
I hate myself so fucking much
/u/fishonthesun
Created: Fri Nov 9 20:50:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vr9wf/i_hate_myself_so_fucking_much/
---
Rant/ rave cant tag I'm on mobile
So I spent the last few days binging but today took the cake. 2400 cals. I cannot begin to express how disgusted I m with myself. I feel like a fraud. How could I possibly claim to have an ED and spend time on this forum when I try to restrict but end up at 1600, 1700, fucking 2400 calories.
I fucking hate my stupid body. Yesterday I cut myself over 100 times and goddamn i wasnt going to do it again but I have to. I have to punish myself for fucking up so badly.
Here's my accountability post: I'm doing a liquid fast (any drink, up to three per "meal" at the dining hall). Solid food will not pass through these lips for at LEAST 2 days. Maybe more. Who knows. I need to get my shit together. I'm tired of having a terrible relationship with food, counting every single tiny bite I take and then having to count binges later on. And not even being skinny. I've gone down like a third of a pound this past MONTH. I'm so fucking pathetic, I would kill myself right now, but I dont want a fucking fatass corpse.
I'm sorry to anyone who read all that.
I may not be posting ever again in a few days because I cant take this anymore and I dont know how long I can go without caving to the urge of suicide.
Thanks to everyone in this community who has shown love
[Rant/Rave] crying after a day @ disney world cause of how much i ate there today 🙃💀
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Fri Nov 9 20:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vr7u1/crying_after_a_day_disney_world_cause_of_how_much/
---
i’ve been doing so good at keeping my cals below 500-600 lately and just fucked it up by how much i had at disney today (two cokes, a small vegan pizza, and a vegan burger w/ fries). and like idek any of the calories to even count them which stresses me out so much.
i’m just going to fast the next couple days but ugh. i need to stop allowing myself stuff like this. at least i got in like 7miles of walking
so tired of disappointing myself lmao
[Rant/Rave] I don’t like chocolate chips that much
/u/peachparks [5'3| CW 134.6 |GW 110 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 20:32:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vr5w0/i_dont_like_chocolate_chips_that_much/
---
THEN WHY DID I EAT SO MANY. Christ, I usually binge or late night snack on fruit or veggies. But I don’t even know why I felt so compelled to eat those stupid chocolate chips. Of course somehow that started a cycle of “if I eat only a small amount of 10 different foods it doesn’t actually count” followed by the shameful logging of said 10 different foods into lose it. I’m not even hungry, just in pain because I thought it was a good idea to eat two cups of broccoli earlier and I think most of us know where that took me
the past week has sucked
/u/Capt_butter [5' 11" | 151 | 21.1 | GW: 115 | 17M]
Created: Fri Nov 9 20:19:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vr2r0/the_past_week_has_sucked/
---
so first i went on a vacation so, almost all the food is super unhealthy and high calorie. and now that im finally home i cant fucking control myself around what food i have at home. thankfully im supposed to do a 10 mile hike tomorrow
[Other] [Request] posting on other full force ED subs. Can we ban people looking for tips/tricks regarding eating disorders?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Fri Nov 9 20:14:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vr1mf/request_posting_on_other_full_force_ed_subs_can/
---
I'm not trying to isolate anyone in the early stages of an ED but looking for "tips" on developing a mental disorder boggles me. You can no chose this. The reality of an ED isn't anything to want. An ED wont make you skinny, or pretty, or happy. It will eat everything you enjoy and leave you feeling guilty for drinking water, questioning if your room mates food put calories into the air, consulting 10+ sites for the calories in black coffee, and angry when those who are hurt watching you kill yourself try to help.
I personally would love to remove these kinds of posts, I think they not only minimise and romantisise EDs but encourage healthy people on diets to attempt to "get one".
My advice for anyone who wants an ED: eat less than you burn if you are overweight, then turn around, run, and never look back.
[Rant/Rave] great doctor but my screw up
/u/irontiddies
Created: Fri Nov 9 20:12:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vr0y8/great_doctor_but_my_screw_up/
---
everytime i go to the doctor i always ask to not see my weight. i’ve been in recovery for so long looking at the number just isn’t worth it.
anyways.
i went to the doctor and asked not to see. he was so kind and didnt make me look. i got all my issues figured out and was handed a stapled sheet of papers that described my ailment and what medicine to take. i flipped the page and my vitals were right there. that big number in all of its glory just staring at me. i’m so broken and i haven’t eaten since. i don’t want to fall into this again but it’s too late. i can’t be fat like this. ugh. rough times.
[Rant/Rave] I just threw up jalapeños and fuck that shit.
/u/Clementineface
Created: Fri Nov 9 20:06:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqzlj/i_just_threw_up_jalapeños_and_fuck_that_shit/
---
Yup. I ate pizza with jalapeños thinking it would keep me from purging. Nah! Not a fucking chance.
It burned so I tried to cool it down with ice cream. Kinda worked but it still sucked
1/10 would NOT recommend.
[Rant/Rave] Trigger Closet (long word vomit while cleaning)
/u/imptea
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:59:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqxvh/trigger_closet_long_word_vomit_while_cleaning/
---
I've been cleaning. I have a closet that I've kind of not been using- it was just filled to the brim. It was, and to an extent still is, a storage area of catching all my random shit. I've cleaned it out and started putting bins of clothes up and getting rid of some.
I keep bins and bins and bins of clothes. Ever since I became a normal size and was no longer a fat little girl, I have hoarded clothes because I all of a sudden had options. I didn't have just options near at my smallest, j could having fucking anything I wanted. So I got what I wanted and I kept everything. Clothes too big for me. Clothes too small for me. Clothes with memories. Clothes with yearning, absolute longing to fit into and make memories in.
The biggest triggers are the clothes I used to wear on a daily basis at my low weight. Oh, those clothes. I used to be such a skirt girl. I had a skirt for every occasion, every mood. I had cheeky skirts, I had gorgeous skirts, I had skirts meant for school children. And they all looked so good hovering over my 23 inch waist and made my ribs look like they were on a pretty little pedestal.
And then I saw them. The Lucky Brand size 0 jeans. The ones I bought before I recovered. The ones I bought at my lw and was so so SO close to fitting into with ease. But then I had to recover after years and years and years of torment done to my body. But I was so fucking close. These jeans have haunted me, they have bewildered me; they have been adorned on a hanger in front of my treadmill during my lower weights, they have been put neatly into a drawer during recovery, they have been spitefully put in the bottom of a bin during my higher weights. And now I'm getting close again.
All these clothes. All these memories. I hung each one up in this emptied out closet that I can look into every day. I am looking with a foamed mouth and fire in my eyes at all those pretty dresses, all of my pretty skeletons hung back up in this spacious little closet. And I am so. Fucking. Close. To fitting back into those all those memories. And making new ones. And getting closer and closer once more to the pipedream that if I could fit into anything I wanted, then I could have it all.
And then they don't have to be skeletons in my closet anymore, I can be a skeleton inside them.
[Other] Can’t tell is it’s r/proed or r/1200is plenty 🤔
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | SW:120 CW: 105.9 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqxi2/cant_tell_is_its_rproed_or_r1200is_plenty/
---
https://i.redd.it/j14vivy05fx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] how can people not be obsessed with food?
/u/moonxwitch [21f • 160cm • cw 64.8kg]
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:56:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqx5q/how_can_people_not_be_obsessed_with_food/
---
i know that pretty much everyone’s had issues with self-esteem and/or weight at some point in their lives, but it really baffles me how can people not be obsessed with food and thinking about it all the time?
even when i’m in ‘recovery’ i still spend a lot of time thinking about food. i plan what i’m gonna eat for my next meal, plan what i’m gonna buy the next time i go to a grocery store. if i buy something nice to eat it’s gonna be the only thing on my mind and i won’t rest until i eat it. i literally cannot buy any food that i enjoy and save it for later because i’m gonna keep obsessing about it until i finally eat it. and then there’s of course the times when my ed is full on and i’m either concentrating on food bc i’m binging or restricting.
and then i listen to other people talk about food like it’s the most normal thing in the world. even people who are ~foodies~ go out to have a nice meal, enjoy it, maybe post a photo on instagram and that’s it. they don’t keep thinking about it or the calories or the nutritional values for a week. when they’re hungry they eat and then they’re done and can focus on other things. food is a means to an end, supposed to nourish and maybe bring pleasure occasionally, and not the end of all.
i’m so jealous of people who just have a meal and then forget about it 🙃 even before my ed officially started i was obsessed with food and eating and i honestly wouldn’t want anything more than stopping this mess and being able to think about literally anything else for a minute.
[Discussion] Tonight is not my night, I hate my body so much
/u/wastedspacecat
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:55:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqwzn/tonight_is_not_my_night_i_hate_my_body_so_much/
---
No matter what I hate my body. I restrict for weeks only to binge back on 10 pounds because I want to feel normal . Then I look horrible because of the binging and then I hate myself for giving in. Then I loose it again only to still feel like a piece of shit . I wish I didn’t take up so much space . I wish I was smaller , I wish I was a 10 to make everyone’s head turn and the only way that’s going to happen is if I never eat again. And I feel like shit and I’m never going to be normal and I’m always going to feel like I’m not enough and it fucking sucks and I just need a fucking hug
[Rant/Rave] Lost weight..... aaaand changed my GW
/u/mmblarg
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:41:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqtnu/lost_weight_aaaand_changed_my_gw/
---
Lost weight and constantly think “not enough” and by all rights it’s not. I’ve gone from obese bmi and moved into “overweight” bmi. But i feel the same, look the same, which obviously means that my GW that I’ve never once been at in my entire adult life must be too high. Better knock it down another 15 pounds...
wild friday night musings
/u/dreamly [5'6 / 110.8 / gw 104 / 21f]
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:36:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqsc1/wild_friday_night_musings/
---
things have been weird
i guess i dont really know where i stand in this whole situation anymore. it sort of feels like i lost my 'reason' for having an ed. in the past, i thought being/staying significantly underweight would bring back the feelings of the most beautiful period of my life (i was at my lw then). but, he moved states and i moved cities and ive given up on any sentiments of longingness i may have had. ive only weighed myself once in my new apartment. gained and lost around 13 lbs this year. whatever. i dont know my september weight or my october weight and im not sure about november yet. i still dont like eating til nighttime and id still like to lose 5 lbs but i guess its not the thing i want most anymore
i guess i want to feel like a great amazing version of myself that has the energy to make art / consistently go to school / text people back / be a person that doesnt disappoint anyone. now im just trying to figure out if i can do all that while still keeping up w my shitty eating habits. i dont know. i saw a psychiatrist for the first time today and the second question she asked me was, "have you ever struggled with an eating disorder?" i said no. so ill start wellbutrin tomorrow without knowing how to feel about anything
[Rant/Rave] Subsisting off of protein powder and quest bars.....
/u/feelsomethinggg [5'7 | 173 |24.1|-9| 24F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:31:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqr5t/subsisting_off_of_protein_powder_and_quest_bars/
---
Last few days I've only had my normal black coffee with a scoop of protein powder. And 1 or 2 quest bars.
I feel oddly okay.
I know it will only last so long before I break.
But its better than b/p every god damn meal.
I just want to be
Small
Tiny
Little
Thin
Skinny
I'm sick of numbers
On the scale
In my food
Ugh
[Help] Gas????
/u/PikachuQueen
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:25:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqpnr/gas/
---
What’s up people. Basically, I’m in recovery. Today I went to the doctor to check on things and make sure I’m gaining weight etc. I gained 10 lbs in two and a half months, dr says it’s all good. He does the usual routine then checks my stomach. He says I have a LOT of gas. Like, huge bloating. I didn’t really notice bc I’ve been “bloated” since I gained a few lbs. my question is, what the hell can I take for it???? I don’t drink soda unless I have a constant hunger urge, and it’s usually a small glass of ginger ale every week, if that. I drink about 8 or more bottles of water a day. He also suggested milk of magnesia which I’ve used before when I was heavy restricting and I’m fine enough to take it.
So yea, any suggestions for gas to make my stomach stop being twice as big as it should be?
[Rant/Rave] why is bread a thing?
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:17:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqnql/why_is_bread_a_thing/
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yet again i fasted for 24hours and broke it with bread, i ate like 3 of them and now i feel so full (but like not in a good way like i feel im gonna explode) and big and sick i literally want to puke just because i feel like exploding
i dont want to vomit but i dont know if ill be able to contain myself
[Rant/Rave] Everything shrinking except my target area
/u/HappyStrawberry29
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:13:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqmlq/everything_shrinking_except_my_target_area/
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So I've been pretty hardcore restricting the past couple months. I've lost ALOT of weight this summer/fall, about 60lbs give or take a bit. I've lost everywhere and I'm so pleased to be skinny again finally except I can not lose these aweful fat sacks on my chest. My breasts have always been large even when I was anorexic and in the hospital I still had breasts which is probably why nobody thought i had ED. I've been trying so hard to lose weight so they will go away and they just wont and I'm losing my mind. I hate them so much! I'm pleased with my weight loss overall and happy with how 99% of my body looks but seriously these disgusting things make me hate myself so much.
[Rant/Rave] I feel so stronk yet so disappointed :)
/u/HeyRamen
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:12:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqmd8/i_feel_so_stronk_yet_so_disappointed/
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My mom offered to bring me Chinese takeout and I said no bc I’m in the middle of a fast, but I love eating :)))) I hate rejecting my favorite food but the problem is that every food is my favorite food which is why I look the way I do rn :,D
[Discussion] Not believing the scale....
/u/blesseday
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:09:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqlr0/not_believing_the_scale/
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I never thought I’d be having the typical not believing the scale ED rant but here it is. I’ve been eating like shit alllll week, I have my period, and haven’t worked out regularly but I’m under 120lbs? Yeah right I don’t believe it. You finally get what you’ve been busting your ass for and don’t think it’s real lmao.
[Other] A haiku
/u/yellowposy2
Created: Fri Nov 9 19:02:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqjxj/a_haiku/
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Oh apples, why me
I had to go and eat two
Why why why why why
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I unlocked my next level
/u/todd_blankenship_ [5’3” | sw 137 | cw 133 | gw 115 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:56:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqigc/i_feel_like_i_unlocked_my_next_level/
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I drank and DIDNT BINGE ON FOOD yes go me.
That is all.
[Help] Need help! How can I raise my blood pressure temporarily?
/u/noushymousy [5'1 | cw: 145 | gw: 110 | -26lbs | female]
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:51:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqgyh/need_help_how_can_i_raise_my_blood_pressure/
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I have a follow up appointment in a week with my psychiatrist, about my ADHD meds (stimulants). The last follow up appointment, my blood pressure was slightly elevated as well as my pulse (just over 100).
It’s been a month and I’ve checked my blood pressure today and it’s literally around 60/90 which is bordering low (pulse is around 60 too). I’m terrified that my psych is going to take my meds away because I’m abusing them but I really need them...and they genuinely help me with my focus and mood too.
Please help me and give me ways that I could temporarily raise my blood pressure just for one reading? (Or even for a longer term if possible.)
[Rant/Rave] EVERYTHING I WOULD POST ON PEACH IF PEACH WASN’T DOWN
/u/cntrxpy [5'3"| 192 | 22F |🍑 cntrxpy|]
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:41:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqek5/everything_i_would_post_on_peach_if_peach_wasnt/
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ANYONE ELSE LOVE SALTINES MORE THAN BEING ALIVE
I’M ENDING THE DAY AT 279 WHICH I’M OK WITH EVEN THO I WAS FASTING
I WANNA KILL MYSELF
BUT I WON’T
What are your favorite low-cal, binge safe foods?
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:28:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqb8k/what_are_your_favorite_lowcal_binge_safe_foods/
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Halo top used to be my safe food, I'd come home from work around 11pm, eat a pint, and be able to not binge. Now it feels like it's not enough, nothing is ever enough. And halo top is too expensive to be eating 5+ a week lol. What are your favorite low-cal volume foods I can binge on at night?
Missing my scale
/u/tobeepositive
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:27:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vqb4z/missing_my_scale/
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I’ve been out of state for a work conference since Sunday and have been missing my scale. I’m obsessive with weighing myself (to the point of my husband threatening to get rid of it and the extra I kept since moving in together) and I’m terrified to arrive home tonight. Anyone else experience this kind of worry?
this and the pizza rolls in the background is dinner (coke will be gone in an hour lmao)
/u/meafy--
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:23:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vq9zw/this_and_the_pizza_rolls_in_the_background_is/
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https://vgy.me/MlFMAK.jpg
“People make assumptions about you based on your body type”
/u/BladderPatrol
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:18:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vq8pf/people_make_assumptions_about_you_based_on_your/
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https://apple.news/AGQVOsaxsRbqbgva40GgeLg
[Discussion] I just got Invisalign and it’s a restriction game changer
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 18:11:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vq75a/i_just_got_invisalign_and_its_a_restriction_game/
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They are little plastic trays that go in your mouth to straighten your teeth that I’m going to need to wear for several years. You have to wear them at least 20-22 hours a day, and can’t eat with them in.
I fasted all day today because it was seriously not worth the pain of taking them out, eat, brushing, flossing, cleaning the trays, and putting them back in. You have to sit down, deliberately eat your meal, and then end eating time by putting the trays back in.
Not only is snacking or impulse-eating is harder to do, but it’s a great excuse for turning down food because people have either understood the hassle or didn’t understand it enough to just accept that my braces mean I can’t eat rn.
I’m way pumped about this. Anyone else have similar experiences?
[Discussion] How important is working out in your goals?
/u/mimedianaranja [Height 5'8" | CW 111| BMI 16.8]
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:58:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vq3pp/how_important_is_working_out_in_your_goals/
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My workout routine has always been a source of anxiety for me. In some ways, it’s the biggest comfort I have (outside of food) because when I’m in the zone doing cardio I can quiet all the anxiety and intrusive thoughts I have (yay depression, anxiety and PTSD...). But in other ways I wonder if it’s hurting my goals by requiring me to eat more calories to replace some of what I burn. Currently I workout 6 days a week (and that 1 day off is hell)- mostly cardio with some weights thrown in just to keep muscle tone and I know it’s good for combatting osteoporosis.
Does anyone else workout as a way to justify eating that day? I know I can teeter towards orthorexia at time but I’m sure there’s plenty of workout purgers out there.
[Help] How do you function like a normal human being during longer fasts?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW: 123 | HW: 160 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:53:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vq2hh/how_do_you_function_like_a_normal_human_being/
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I used to fast 3-5 days all the time, but haven't done anything longer than 24 hours for months. Back then, I was always either super hyper or completely drained. I want to get back on the fasting train and do a 5 day fast. Normally I wouldn't care if I was tired, but on day 3 I'll be seeing my GP for blood tests and on day 4 I have a job interview. I'm just gonna tell my doctor I'm fasting, so no big deal, but I don't want to ruin my interview by blacking out or something. I also imagine I'll have pretty bad keto breath, so I'm hoping some gum will be enough!
I know people take supplements and salts, but what specifically do you do? I never took any in the past, do they actually help with dizziness? Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
[Discussion] What food do you wish was calorie-free?
/u/SushiUschi
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:53:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vq2ek/what_food_do_you_wish_was_caloriefree/
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Healthy: Grapes. Grapes are the perfect snack, but all of those carbs kill me.
Definitely not healthy: the Frisco Melt at Steak n Shake. 1,200 for one (1) sandwich.
Does anybody else have a dry mouth after they c/s?
/u/HeyRamen
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:44:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vq054/does_anybody_else_have_a_dry_mouth_after_they_cs/
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I recently c/s a bunch of potato chips and I noticed that my mouth felt really, really dry. I drank some water and it seemed to go away after some time. I don’t often c/s so I was curious if it was just the chips or if this is a common side affect.
Missing my period and losing my hair?
/u/ormyawkwardproblems
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:43:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpzvv/missing_my_period_and_losing_my_hair/
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Hey guys, I'm really concerned because lately I've been noticing some changes happening. My periods have always been a bit irregular on the exact day in which they start, but I've never actually missed one before. However this month, I waited and after a week had gone by from the time it was supposed to start I panicked. I took a pregnancy test and it came back negative. I've used protection and have had no issues there, so I highly doubtful im pregnant. Also a lot of my hair has been falling out. In the shower i get frustrated because so much will come out and tangle in my fingers as I'm trying to wash it. I would say I lose maybe 3 handfulls each time. Now I have naturally really thick hair but I still think this is odd? I'm by no means underweight though. I'm 5'2 and 110 pounds. I restrict to around 1000 kcals everyday which is much higher than many people here. Could it be related to that? Has anyone else had anything like this happen?
When your hanging out with friends and your stomach wont stop growling
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 132| GW 100| -11| F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:39:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpywy/when_your_hanging_out_with_friends_and_your/
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Im so embarrassed and I know she wants to say something. This is gonna be a long night.
[Rant/Rave] mad @ myself- binged @ disney
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:38:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpyqq/mad_myself_binged_disney/
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went to disney today which was hella fun, but ate wayyy too much (two cokes, a small vegan pizza, and a vegan burger w/ fries). planning on fasting for the next couple days but ugh i was doing good the last few days keeping my cals under 500-600
luckily for in 7miles/+1700 steps but :// this is why i never make progress lmao 💀
where do I belong?
/u/kitt_3n [5'2 | CW: 104 | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:16:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpt1m/where_do_i_belong/
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I am so torn between trying to just maintain here and losing more. I'm afraid I will end up in a binge/restrict cycle if I get closer to goal (\~100 lbs).
Does the fact that I want to maintain around 100 pounds mean that I'm no longer anorexic? I was diagnosed in 2012 and have had periods of recovery. Does it mean I'm in quasi recovery now?
Should I just join a weight loss sub lol? I'm aiming for harm reduction and I don't know what the best place for that is.
[Rant/Rave] Lose It is motivating me so much wtf
/u/Serenescence [5'8 | CW 124 | GW 105 | 19F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:13:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vps8z/lose_it_is_motivating_me_so_much_wtf/
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Just downloaded it a few days ago after weighing myself for the first time forever. I started out as 124 (big OOF after assuming I was around 115), but it’s been three days and I’m already down 1.5 pounds? Like uh what my goal is apparently 2 pounds a week? I’m guessing it won’t stay like that forever and some days I’ll magically gain like 2 pounds but god damn results that fast is really making me restrict.
I also really really want to undershoot my limit every day. It set it as 900 something but I’ve been getting like 600-700 a day and I just feel damn great.
[Other] Things I still care about....
/u/cattivity
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpqsz/things_i_still_care_about/
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I remember when a boy (my current boyfriend, hah) pursued me really hard my sophmore year in highschool, I felt so good about myself considering that he acted head over heels for me. That's why it kinda killed me when we were laying in bed together and he proceeded to rave about this girl at school that he and his friend thought was just "so beautiful, like model pretty, like too good looking for me and him to ever make a move on." Ouch. What does that make me? Easy to pursue because I'm so mediocre.
The girl that was "model" pretty in his eyes? She was super thin. I've never looked like that in my life.
Fast forward to 3 years later.
I was drinking and hanging out with this guy I had went to high school with, we had just slept together. I really, really liked him. Of course like the other guy, he started to go on his own rave about how all these model looking girls wanted him but he was too nervous to reciprocate. Ouch again.
What the fuck is with guys feeling so comfortable reminding me that I'm the ugly girl they feel so content to fuck? (because at least I don't make them nervous with how hot I am)
It just really hurts to constantly be reminded that you're the one that they're settling for.
These are reasons I won't eat today.
[Help] Costa order?
/u/emotional_low
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:05:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vppyo/costa_order/
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Hey everyone!
​
So I just saw a pretty similar post for this relating to Starbucks, but I was wondering if anyone had any low-calorie orders for Costa coffee (that isn't just black coffee).
​
I was also just wondering if anyone knew the nutritional values for their coffees/ drinks which are made with soy milk/ coconut milk. They only have the nutritional information for their drinks made with skim milk available, and it's really bugging me out because I can't find the specific values.
​
​
[Discussion] Do you guys ever have brief moments where you think you look at least ok?
/u/fuckinhelpmehdhd [5'8 | CW 137 | GW 117]
Created: Fri Nov 9 17:00:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpoif/do_you_guys_ever_have_brief_moments_where_you/
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I looked at a picture of myself that normally makes me want to kill myself and for some reason I thought "wtf I actually look ok." It took about 10 seconds for me to go back to thinking I'm a fat and ugly piece of shit. Does this happen to anyone else?
When your boyfriend shows up to pick you up at work after you vomit and pass out from low blood sugar just to take you home and tuck you into bed with a cup of tea.
/u/Internet_Ugly [5'7.75" | CW 161.6lbs | BMI 24.53| -78.4lbs | 26 F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:58:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpnyp/when_your_boyfriend_shows_up_to_pick_you_up_at/
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https://i.redd.it/ndl1777i8ex11.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone 5’1??
/u/woulddieforabba
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:52:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpmma/anyone_51/
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I’ve made a separate account just for this sub and for general weight loss and I was wondering if anyone else here was 5’1 and would know the struggles of weight loss when ur small 💖
[Rant/Rave] Corn is healthy 😠
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:49:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vplmb/corn_is_healthy/
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So I'm in the kitchen with my dad and he was telling me about a guy that use to paint houses with him and said that he would go to the gas station and pick up a can of corn and eat it straight from the can as a quick source of energy. My dad said "I mean its convenient and good for you" and my mom yells "corn is starch theirfore its not good for you" I told her they mean PROCESSED STARCH and she got angry and said I didnt know what I was talking about. Yeah, a vegetable is bad for you. Oh fuck off
[Rant/Rave] I want this thing to kill me
/u/secretweightloss [5’4” | CW: 144 | GW: 126 | -51 | M]
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:47:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpl13/i_want_this_thing_to_kill_me/
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tldr; i’m a coward who’s hoping for his ED to kill him because he can’t do it himself
My life is miserable. I struggled through university and barely passed, ended up in a job where it’s too stressful and i’m constantly anxious and upset. My managers are saying they don’t think i’m fit for the role and I need to speak to occupational health to work out how they can ‘support’ me but I know they just want me to tell them stuff they can use against me to fire me.
I have very few friends, of the ones I have i’m not at all a prioritised person. I’m the one who only gets invited places as an afterthought or ‘forgotten’ about or just plain up told I wasn’t invited somewhere. I made plans with a friend last month and then on the day of I sent a casual message just checking if we were still going etc and he then messaged another friend saying ‘ugh guess who just messaged me’ and didn’t reply to my message until 11.30pm and told me no he didn’t want to go anymore. I don’t know what I did wrong.
I thought maybe things were picking up when I started hooking up with someone i’ve had a crush on for years. She was kind and caring and made me so happy but she wasn’t willing to put a label on what we were, and when I asked for some kind of reassurance that I meant something she asked me to be patient because she had a lot of stuff going on. 3 weeks ago something happened and she stopped talking to me. I’ve spoken to her a handful of times when we used to have long conversations every day. She sometimes still sends me memes she thinks are funny. On wednesday I asked if she wanted to hang out tonight. The message was delivered and she didn’t read or acknowledge it, despite being online and talking to other people.
I don’t know what I did wrong, I fucked it all up somehow and if someone can go from seeming like she cares about me to ghosting me that quickly I must be a truly awful person. I’m worthless and I don’t deserve love. I have no hope for the future, I want to die but i’m a coward and i’m scared i’ll fuck it up and just end up brain damaged or something.
So i’m just counting on eventually becoming underweight and maybe my body will just give up and stop functioning, short of getting into a traffic accident that’s the only option i’ve got of escaping this. But i’m such a whale it’s going to take a while and I don’t know how I can keep going like this
I can’t stop binging
/u/gravythegravy
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:42:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpjyu/i_cant_stop_binging/
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I’m so stressed and sad, and the lack of sunlight seriously doesn’t help. I haven’t binged in so long. :/
[Rant/Rave] Just a thought
/u/versperalaxis
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:38:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpiqm/just_a_thought/
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waiting for the day i’m finally thin. my life will be so much better. tbh, even if i faded away i wouldn’t mind, everyone would be better off. maybe one day.
[Tip] Super cute weight app!!
/u/Disastrous_Example
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:36:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpi9x/super_cute_weight_app/
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this is my first (second, but i removed the first one because i’m shy lol) post on reddit so i’m sorry if i do something wrong. i also wasn’t sure if i should flair it as something, so i’m sorry if i should’ve done that. also i’m sorry for my english lol
i just wanted to share a super cute app i found today. it’s called ”Casual Dieting”. i’m pretty sure it’s japanese, and it’s basically just to log your weight but you can also write a diary in it. it has really cute stickers and also automatically asks you to set a password which is also great, and it has a graph. as i mentioned, i found it just today so i haven’t really tried it out but i thought i would share!!
[Other] I should eat today.
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:21:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpeda/i_should_eat_today/
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I had two cans of peas yesterday and felt awful about the second can.
Brought corn to eat at work today, didn't realize it needed a can opener. Fuck.
It's 6pm and the family is going to have pizza and I'm trying to decide if I want to hunt through the kitchen.
I'm just under an over weight BMI.
Ed-nos is a bitch. Healthy for a year or more, suddenly displaying anoretic traits but no one believes you.
Drinking Coffee
/u/ur-doing-gr8
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:15:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpcop/drinking_coffee/
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Ok, so I like coffee. I like drinking it, I like how it makes me feel less hungry, I like how inexpensive it is. But when I'm restricting and/or trying to work out after I've had coffee I get SO shaky and woozy. Definitely the closest I've ever been to passing out. Does this happen to anyone else? Do I need to start drinking decaf? Would decaf still help me feel less hungry? What do y'all do?
Lost almost 7kg but can’t see any difference in the mirror?
/u/mentalcasethrowaway [1.71m | SW: 69.7kg | CW: 64.6kg | GW: 60kg, 54kg, 50kg | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:12:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpboq/lost_almost_7kg_but_cant_see_any_difference_in/
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It’s been five weeks since I started keeping track of my weight daily. In that time I have lost almost 7kg (ignore the tag next to my username it’s outdated and I can’t update it until I get my laptop repaired).
7kg is a lot, right? apparently it’s 10% of my original body mass. That seems significant. But I look in the mirror and I am the same as I ever was. My parents have both commented on how much ‘healthier’ I look and praised me, but I just don’t see it.
I bought an expensive corset a few months ago and at the time I would have to get someone to lace it up for me and really struggle to tighten it even two inches smaller than my natural waist. I used to marvel at how skinny I was with even that tiny reduction. Yesterday I put it on again and immediately tightened it as far as it could possibly go (the two steel bones at the back were touching) with zero effort. All by myself. It’s too big now and I’m going to have to sell it second-hand to buy a new smaller one! Wtf??
And yet to me I don’t look any different! I’m identical! What gives?
[Discussion] Who else matches their drink to their outfit?
/u/moisiny
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:09:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vpauc/who_else_matches_their_drink_to_their_outfit/
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Alright hear me out, I’m ridiculously vain and fully aware of it. For the past year or so when I’m in a dairy, picking out my low cal beverage of the day, I’ll fully consider the cans colours and whether or not it’ll clash.
My options are usually the Monster ultra range (orange, white, purple), or a classic coke/Pepsi/sprite.
I picked the orange monster today after a lengthy debate in my head since I’m wearing white shoes/shirt but rust coloured shorts and make up.
I know it’s a small crazy thing to do, but does anyone else? I fully can’t pick something that would ‘clash’ or I panic and don’t want to have it.
DAE make "I'm going to reinvent my life (and be skinny)" plans?
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vp8t5/dae_make_im_going_to_reinvent_my_life_and_be/
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I'm always making plans to reinvent my life, what I'll wear, what hobbies I'll do, what I'll look like, where I'll go, my job, etc. etc. It's a fantasy but I actually do start to plan it and act on those plans. Of course at the crux of this is being skinny which is ridiculous because who knows if/when I'll ever reach my goal and that is THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. I have about 40-45lbs left and although that's actually not THAT much it seems really daunting since I've been losing so slowly the past 4 months.
[Help] *TMI* I’m really scared, someone help? Can’t poop. Not sure who to talk to.
/u/freakedout_wtf
Created: Fri Nov 9 16:00:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vp8ex/tmi_im_really_scared_someone_help_cant_poop_not/
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I don’t have insurance so I can’t go to the doctor. :(
We all have weird poop so I figured you guys might know what to do, and I’m sure this is ed related.
I am constipated to hell and back. I normally have huge logs just SLIP out but I’ve ACTUALLY had to go bad but yesterday when I tried- it just wouldn’t. I peaked and it looked weird, like my skin turned funnel-shaped and the poop was just not coming out.
Never had this be so bad that I can remember.
ADVICE????????
I’m trying to drink water and refrain from eating. Took miralax but not sure that would help with the poop that’s already in my ass/close to coming out.
I’ve been bingeing a lot lately so I’m afraid a lot of gonna get backed up.
HELP. 🙏
I wish I could purge
/u/andinev
Created: Fri Nov 9 15:52:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vp63m/i_wish_i_could_purge/
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I just went down a dead end road bent down next to a fucking swamp and stuck my fingers down my throat cuz I had a burger and French fries. I can’t bring myself to fucking throw up, I can feel my stomach start to turn, take my fingers out, stick them back in again but nothing comes up. I guess I’m just not trying hard enough but I hate throwing up so much. My life has turned to shit lately and I didn’t have the self control to restrict today cuz im so stressed. Please god just let me be able to purge so I can have some French fries and not cry about it.
It’s my birthday and I can binge if I want to
/u/GohanCake [5’1” | CW: 92 | GW: 86 | 27F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 15:36:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vp1da/its_my_birthday_and_i_can_binge_if_i_want_to/
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Hi, it’s 1 hour and 34 minutes before my 28th birthday and I’ve eaten 1500 calories and plan to eat another 3000 before I pass out. Looking forward to seeing what this exciting new age will brings!!! 🙃
*raises my melting Ben and Jerry’s* cheers to the most supportive community I’ve recently been a part of. Thanks for being here for me <3
[Discussion] Googled how to stop binge restrict cycle
/u/Wander3 [Height: 162cm | CW: 37.4 kg]
Created: Fri Nov 9 15:36:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vp1cy/googled_how_to_stop_binge_restrict_cycle/
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I googled how to stop a binge restrict cycle and all the advice was don’t starve yourself blah blah.
It got me thinking and all my binge sessions happen when I’m not hungry.
"He always finishes his plate"
/u/Raynx [5'5 | 120lbs | 20.2 | M]
Created: Fri Nov 9 15:32:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vp0fs/he_always_finishes_his_plate/
---
***Warning : long, pointless life story ahead***
I got a new amazing job and am in the process of moving into the "big city". Even 5 years ago I wouldn't even dream of my current situation. I am in fact glamorizing it as much as judy hopps in zootopia.
One of the things I love is how thin and beautiful most people are in comparison to other places. Nothing beats real-life thinspo for motivation. I truly want to belong with these people with all my heart, although that means I'll need to change my ways real fucking fast.
As you can guess from the title, this was such a wake-up call. Of all the things I've learned, places I've seen, or people I've met so far... This is the only thing that really stuck with me. So, yeah, of course I noticed for myself that I was the only one who took an entree + meal + dessert every time (I only eat once a day, so that's how I'm rationalizing my binges); not only that, but everyone else almost *never finishes their meal*. Like, I can understand someone who plans and eats less than 1000Cal a day, but actually seeing someone order a regular meal and *not eating all of it* felt like such an alien concept for me. They are in a league so far beyond me it's not even funny.
It's only been a week, but when the discussion turned to food/what everyone was eating, and I heard that sentence, I knew I fucked up immensely. In my mind I gave myself time to settle in and ease into eating less so I'd appear less bloated over time. So fucking much for that. *I didn't know regular people never finished their plates!* I legitimately thought they ordered less to begin with. I can't compete with that.
I'm not even going to talk about the time someone shared the video of a colleague eating a third piece of chocolate during a birthday celebration. They both laughed because she ate some chocolate. I'm telling myself over and over again that I could've been in that video... I don't know how I'd have reacted. Someone filming me and saying "look, he's going for thirds!" Who does that? Who? How could I laugh at this?
The true problem is the sheer ease of access of so much food, all the time, which is a complete dichotomy with the thinspo I was talking about earlier. Dedicated breakfast stand in the morning (with of course colleagues who will always pass around free pastries before even beginning to work), cafeteria with varied but very large meals, free coffee and other sugary drinks through the whole building... It's torture. I already thought about food every second of every day before; now I have to make the *conscious decision* of not eating every second that passes.
I can't do this indefinitely. I'd love to fast for days on end, but I'm trying to be as sociable as possible, and that means eating with others. So... My goal is to eat light, every day, without binging like a pig in front of others. But it's so hard for me. I am not anorexic, nor bulimic. I'm either fasting or eating whatever I want. But I can't afford to anymore. Let this be an accountability post as well as a rant.
The kicker : a few hours after eating a large meal at lunch today, someone offered me candy, which I refused because binging a second time would be insane. She had the gall to say "what's the matter, don't you like sweets? Hahaha."
I ATE LIKE 2500 CALORIES EARLIER. I'M GOING TO FAST THE ENTIRE WEEKEND SO I DON'T HATE MYSELF NEXT MONDAY. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME???
[Discussion] Them: "What are you having for lunch?" Me: "Video games, you?"
/u/OminousAlpaca [Let's not and say we didn't ]
Created: Fri Nov 9 15:29:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vozfg/them_what_are_you_having_for_lunch_me_video_games/
---
DAE use activities in place of food? I didn't mean to answer them with the truth lmao but I think of meals more like time blocks sometimes
Like, for breakfast, no matter what time of day it is, if it's my first food I call it breakfast. But lunch/dinner/supper/snack are all times of day?
Sometimes I just catch myself thinking "when i get home I'm going to go to sleep for dinner" or "I'm going to play games for lunch" or "I'm going to do laundry for breakfast"
Idk it's weird but does anyone else relate? 😂
[Discussion] DAE feel satisfaction whenever they see old bullies/acquaintances get fat when you’re now skinny?
/u/LumosErin
Created: Fri Nov 9 15:05:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vos82/dae_feel_satisfaction_whenever_they_see_old/
---
Bc same.
Awhile ago, my brothers and I wanted food from a specific Texan chicken wing place and there isn’t one in my hometown so we called it in at one of their locations to go get it. This particular location was in a very big college town and it was the closest to our house so there was a bit of a wait, which is okay bc it took us nearly half an hour to get there. I go in to get the order and I’m on my way to the to-go counter and I notice a particular girl from my high school class is on the register.
Now this girl was a “popular girl” back then so to say. She necessarily wasn’t a bitch to me, but she ran with that crowd.
When I stepped up, she pretty much refused to acknowledge me despite saying “Hi *name!*” but whatever. I just smiled my smiley self and left with my wings.
The only satisfaction I got out of this interaction is that she had definitely put on a few pounds since high school. *snaps in a z-formation*
[Other] my OMAD (790).... nutritions? idk her
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 21f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🐻]
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vooop/my_omad_790_nutritions_idk_her/
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https://i.redd.it/gtngu84pmdx11.jpg
[Goal] I have shoulder pokies now
/u/areddittoshowoff [161cm | C: 57kg | G: 54kg | -17kg | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:51:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9voo76/i_have_shoulder_pokies_now/
---
I noticed today in the mirror that I can finally see those little bone bumps between my shoulder and my neck!! Google says it’s the top of the scapula/shoulder blade?
I’m pretty happy about that.
[Rant/Rave] Why is my brain so...... messy
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:51:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vonzr/why_is_my_brain_so_messy/
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the tiny sliver of my brain thats still logical: You need to eat healthy! Your body knows how to take care of itself and you should trust it, eating a healthy amount of calories will help you in the long run!
The rest of my brain, which is actually just a drag goblin coated head to toe in purple body glitter and blasting "Primadonna" on repeat: Fast for a month and die. Think about how hot you'll look in your coffin, if you die of starvation you'll look hot in the clothes they bury you in and in 100 years when archeologists dig you up they might not confuse you for a whale :)
Everyone is testing me today.
/u/prettylittlelush
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:26:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9voggd/everyone_is_testing_me_today/
---
I'm restricting and goddammit, Im bitchy. Help ne get through the day
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else take really good selfies but feel like an absolute cow irl?
/u/ayybih
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:20:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9voeo5/anyone_else_take_really_good_selfies_but_feel/
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I’m supposed to be going to the movies with a guy tomorrow and I really like him. We have mutual friends but have never actually met. We’ve been friends on social media for years and I’ve sent him tons of selfies, even nudes. But I’m so close to cancelling because I feel too fat. I feel like he’s gonna see me and be like “Wow she catfished me. She’s a whale”
I even had a fucking dream that that happened. So I haven’t eaten anything all day in hopes that I’ll somehow wake up skinny af tomorrow 😅
[Rant/Rave] I have no idea how normal people deal with emotions
/u/TheGlitterMahdi [5'4" | 190lbs | 33.25 | -100lbs | Dude]
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:16:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vod8k/i_have_no_idea_how_normal_people_deal_with/
---
I'm ridiculously depressed for some unknown but almost certainly stupid reason right now (I mean that; I felt great this morning and literally nothing happened that would cause anyone's mood to change but I've basically spent the past 3 hours crying at my desk bc WTF is a brain). And I have literally no clue how to deal with it. All I want to do is order a large pizza and eat that, follow it up with a gallon of frozen yogurt, while watching Netflix in bed.
Like my entire life has basically been an inability to tolerate the slightest negative emotion without outside stimuli. I don't get how some people don't get depression, and I don't get how some people manage to get through life without a single addiction or self-harm technique, and I'm just sitting here in the dark wanting to eat until I make myself sick because I'm sad right now.
This is dumb of me to be writing and is really only tangentially related to this sub. I just don't know how to deal with anything without food. And it's bullshit. I'm sad, so I eat, so I get sick and fatter, so I feel shame, so I eat... But if I'm sad and I don't give in, I feel sad because I'm not making myself feel better and basically no matter what my mood and my weight are never-ending spirals of shit and IDEK and I'm sorry if this is whining.
ED friendly foods to make for others?
/u/lorabore
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:09:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vobaw/ed_friendly_foods_to_make_for_others/
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I go through Hypomanic states where I obsessively bake and cook things for people. I made 4 loaves of cinnamon swirl bread last week for my co-workers. So today I want to cook but I want to make something I can eat too.
I'm making pumpkin snickerdoodles for my co-workers So they are automatically off limits, but I also wanted to make something for my boyfriend to have for dinner when he gets home late today and I know he's going to want to eat with me.
Ideas? I was thinking a baked pasta and just add spinach to half? He eats like a cowboy and I eat like a rabbit.
Anybody else “stuck”?
/u/naytertotsandwich
Created: Fri Nov 9 14:08:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9voatw/anybody_else_stuck/
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I legitimately feel like this state Im in could last the rest of my life.
So, I have been hospitalized for anorexia in my past. It absolutely ruined my life, destroyed my high school experience, and tore apart my family. Wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy.
That was at 15 years old. Im 26 now, a mom, and struggle with EDNOS. Im at this point weight wise where if I lose anymore? Ill start to look sick, and my close family and friends will start to be concerned. I also dont WANT to look sick either, so that terrifies me as well.
Im also terrified of GAINING weight of course. So I restrict, count calories, the works.
So its a cycle between “oh, I’ve lost too much! I need to start eating more! I cant let this happen again!” and “oh shit, im getting fat again. Time to restrict!”
And there is absolutely no way I could start “eating intuitively” when I can calculate essentially every meal I eat calorie wise. Im sure many of you can relate to the whole “auto count” feature in the brain am I right?
Its like this is my constant state. Does it end? Will it end? Or is this just the way Im going to be forever?? I mean, my god, its been years and years of this!!! Should I just be prepared to accept this as a perpetual struggle?
Sorry for the rant, Im just looking for some feedback from anyone else who feels the same.
DAE eat preworkout?
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 13:59:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vo81s/dae_eat_preworkout/
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Not like I do...I totally don’t....it just kills hunger and makes me so productive....or so I’ve heard.... OKAY FINE I EAT THE ENERGY POWDER LIKE A FUCKING FIEND AM I THE ONLY ONE???
[Discussion] I know this is strange but yeah
/u/emlae_reddit
Created: Fri Nov 9 13:49:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vo59z/i_know_this_is_strange_but_yeah/
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I have an ED but it isn't too bad to the point I never eat. My friend (a guy) is the biggest kid in our grade. He has been skipping lunch and breakfast!??! He's done it for a whole week and succeeded only eating one meal a day. Everyone is calling him anorexic at lunch and he didn't even know what it meant.
I know this is awful,, but I sort of wish I could do it.
[Rant/Rave] “You looked like you’ve gained weight!”
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Fri Nov 9 13:47:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vo4fo/you_looked_like_youve_gained_weight/
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So not what I wanted to hear in group therapy today. (From another client)
Especially because I’ve lost 5 pounds after a 4 month long plateau.
Especially because afterwards, I binged on quesadillas and an apple pie from McDonald’s because I “just had to.”
I’ll get back on track tomorrow. Just, ugh.
[Discussion] why do we all love energy drinks?
/u/likrot
Created: Fri Nov 9 13:27:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vnyl6/why_do_we_all_love_energy_drinks/
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i can drink energy drinks without being guilty, and i love the feel with an empty stomach. but like why? is there a science behind it? do Y'ALL have reasoning? its just weird for me.
[Rant/Rave] "why don't you just eat?"
/u/tired_platypus [5'4 | 117.2 lbs |F17]
Created: Fri Nov 9 13:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vntyj/why_dont_you_just_eat/
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UM BECAUSE I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER
​
sry i just hate when people ask me that, like do u rly think i'm choosing to not eat the gigantic chocolate chip cookie in front of me??? obviously, i'm starving, it's just my freaking ED brain forcing me not to. i don't understand how ppl don't get that asking shit like that is just a trigger
[Rant/Rave] Help
/u/marshallcat
Created: Fri Nov 9 12:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vnl48/help/
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So I keep doing this thing where I fast until I feel like I'm about to physically fucking die and then binge and then start another long fast and then binge and then fast and etc. I've not been doing it voluntarily, it's just what my ED makes me do. I don't think my body can tolerate this sort of extremeness anymore. I'm currently laying down post-binge and I can feel my heart pounding. The sad part is I already started my fast timer to compensate this binge lol. I'm going to try to make it no longer than a day and then try to high-restrict. Hopefully that'll put an end to this ugly, painful cycle.
Oh, I also have 2 midterms coming up in 3-4 days respectively and I haven't really started studying because my ED has taken over my life. Yay.
[Tip] PSA: FUN SIZED MILK DUDS ARE 52 KCALS
/u/dollydomer [5'6 | 107.8|GW 100 |F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 12:35:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vnipl/psa_fun_sized_milk_duds_are_52_kcals/
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to all sweet toothed people like me,, 4 milk duds are 52 cals and they last long as we all know. will last way longer if you eat them chilled too ;)
why the fuck do i look so fat hours after eating
/u/napoleonfucker69
Created: Fri Nov 9 12:26:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vnfsq/why_the_fuck_do_i_look_so_fat_hours_after_eating/
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ive been eating normally this week and felt like a pig the entire time, my stomach constantly popped out and i found it hard to even see my ribs.
20 hours fast & a poop later, my stomach looks flatter than ever. it makes me not want to eat ever again because i know i'll just inflate again
[Help] Dinner tonight... can’t be suspicious HELP
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Fri Nov 9 12:23:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vnezt/dinner_tonight_cant_be_suspicious_help/
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https://i.redd.it/f8ex7pewvcx11.jpg
[Help] Going out to dinner tonight... can’t look suspicious. HELP
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Fri Nov 9 12:19:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vndst/going_out_to_dinner_tonight_cant_look_suspicious/
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https://i.redd.it/xu7d33l6vcx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I have no desire to eat
/u/cattivity
Created: Fri Nov 9 12:16:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vnctj/i_have_no_desire_to_eat/
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It's funny how my boyfriend criticizes my binging behavior because it's unhealthy but doesn't bat an eye when I say I've decided to no longer eat.
Welp, that does it. I now know that I'm too fucking fat to eat food. Here we go, another 24 hour fast. Or for however long I can go. My stomach hurts but honestly I deserve it.
[Other] my mom fatshamed my baby
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 21f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🐻]
Created: Fri Nov 9 12:13:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vnbzb/my_mom_fatshamed_my_baby/
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i told her he ‘ate’ 2 slices of pizza last night and she said he’s gonna be fat when he’s older im wheezing why is my mom like this who hurt her
[Other] Anyone interesting in being creative writing buddies?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | CW: 111| 17.6 | -20 | F | UGW: 104]
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:40:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vn1jy/anyone_interesting_in_being_creative_writing/
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[removed]
[Goal] Day 1 of 3 day fast
/u/thingsarestranger [5’2” | CW:127.2 | SW:160 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:35:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmztd/day_1_of_3_day_fast/
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I was stupid and binged last night without purging so now I’m doing a 3 day water fast so I can hopefully undo some of the damage sigh. Accountability posting. I’ve never gone longer than 36 hours but I’m feeling oddly motivated so we’ll see. Anything is better than another binge so I’ll just see how long I can go for without being lightheaded.
I wish that hadn't worked
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:34:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmzrf/i_wish_that_hadnt_worked/
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I've been stuck on the same half pound for two days on fasting and finally got fed up this morning. So I spent money I should have saved for gas, on food. I ate two doughnuts, a cinnamon roll and two pieces of breakfast pizza. I gave the rest of the small pizza to my husband and proceeded to purge every bit of it I could get out. Then I sad-napped for two hours. When I woke up just now, I had lost a whole pound.
Fuck.
[Discussion] Aiming for a 3 day fast. Accountability post. Anyone care to join?
/u/thingsarestranger [5’2” | CW:127.2 | SW:160 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:32:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmyzt/aiming_for_a_3_day_fast_accountability_post/
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[removed]
So I'm passing body checks I haven't passed in two years...
/u/alzaboschmilk [ 5'10 | 143 | 20.6 | -35 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:29:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmxxf/so_im_passing_body_checks_i_havent_passed_in_two/
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And I'm both ecstatic and terrified at the same time. My thigh gap is coming back, my hands are looking bony, my hips are more prominent, and my ribs are getting clearer. On one hand, I want to jump for joy. On the other hand, I'm so terrified, I know where this goes. The last time I lost weight, I kept going down to 112 before having a breakdown.
I just can't tell whether I want this to continue or not, I know it's going to be far too easy to slip back into the bad habits, I'm just really kinda scarred. I could put a stop to this and go recover, or i could just not. Does anyone else feel like they're on a precipice?
[Discussion] Past 4-5 years of relapse/recovery.
/u/broketreebranch [AN/BP 🍑: dancinghare]
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:28:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmxja/past_45_years_of_relapserecovery/
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https://i.redd.it/s1r93g51mcx11.jpg
[Discussion] DAE obsessively weigh/measure ingredients when cooking, even when not counting calories?
/u/sky-circles
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:20:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmv53/dae_obsessively_weighmeasure_ingredients_when/
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I feel like I have a strange relationship with counting calories. Near the beginning of my struggles with disordered eating I obsessively counted calories and low restricted/fasted a lot. It was very important for me to measure EVERYTHING. Nowadays this fluctuates. Some days if I binge or just generally overeat I don't count. Sometimes I intend to restrict but still don't count, out of an idea that counting calories and having a limit in mind of say, 800 calories, gives me a weird "permission" to eat those full 800. If I don't count and just try to go by never being full/being very hungry by the end of the day, on most days I'll consume less than that. But no matter what whenever I'm cooking anything I still weigh/measure absolutely everything, and keep the numbers in mind. Almost like a self-preservation thing I guess? In case I feel anxious and need to total up the calories later, at least I'll know how many grams of onion I put, or whatever. It's a little hilarious that some days I can barely remember what I have to study for my classes, or the dates of my midterms, but I definitely know off the top of my head that this morning I ate an omelette with 1 medium egg, 26 grams of egg white, 41 grams of white mushrooms, and 20 grams of onion lol.
[Rant/Rave] So I Fucked Up No Fuck Up November Already
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:08:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmrer/so_i_fucked_up_no_fuck_up_november_already/
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I was doing so well up until yesterday. I binged. I have no idea how many calories I ate, but it was most likely over 3,000. I'm an idiot. I should've ECA stacked yesterday and I didn't. I literally ate all day. It was disgusting.
I know today is a new day. I'm not weighing myself today or tomorrow. I feel so huge and heavy. Back to restricting. I can do this. I messed up one day, but I'm getting back on track.
So proud of you all who haven't messed up so far. 💜
[Discussion] DAE vacillate between restricting and eating "normally" but exercising a lot?
/u/questions_anonymous [5'6.5" | 114 | 18.1 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 11:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmq5s/dae_vacillate_between_restricting_and_eating/
---
My dumb self lately: running several miles in a snow storm? Come on fatty, get moving. Literally just remaining seated rather than going to get seconds? Nah, we don't have the willpower for that.
[Discussion] DAE's body dysmorphia manifest itself only in the present?
/u/LaRealiteInconnue [5'8" | CW: 152 | GW: 125 | 25F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 10:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmi5g/daes_body_dysmorphia_manifest_itself_only_in_the/
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So I have TimeHop (app that shows you your posts/pix from your social media accounts through the years) and it dawned on me recently that I was super hot in those pix ??! The pic that first got me started is from US election day 2 years ago - I distinctly remember being at work and wanting to post a selfie with a particular facial expression due to the events that were unfolding, but I kept thinking "Nah, I'm too unfortunate looking rn. I don't look good at work aaaand I gained like 5 pounds." Welp fast forward 2 years to me looking at those pix - I looked hot. And my eyebrows were on fleek 💯 So I started looking through other even older photos and same...but I distinctly remember feeling overweight, feeling like my acne is fucking up my life too much, feeling like my eyebrows are a stupid shape for my face (lol tbh in 2007-2011 they were cuz yikes thin eyebrows), etc. Dafuq, brain? I just want to feel like I look good in the present, not 2 years ago and not 2 years down the line when I'll be reminiscing how good I looked in 2018, probs 🙄 anyone else relate or will I be a particularly "fun" case for a therapist one day?
[Rant/Rave] i'll never be good enough
/u/likrot
Created: Fri Nov 9 10:37:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmhch/ill_never_be_good_enough/
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ive lost so much weight and yet im still ugly. crush on a boy and his ex finds out and sits across the hall laughing at me. i could feel it. and i knew he was embarrassed. if there was any way to force me to stick to my fast, this was it. i want to die. i want to hide from everyone. i want this to be over.
[Tip] Canadian Winter ED problems
/u/acmay3
Created: Fri Nov 9 10:33:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmg3a/canadian_winter_ed_problems/
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https://i.redd.it/jbe3gi4bccx11.jpg
Short and simple Starbucks order?
/u/United_Average
Created: Fri Nov 9 10:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmfa7/short_and_simple_starbucks_order/
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does anyone know any starbucks orders that are short and easy to say, but are as lowcal as possible (100 max, but preferably lower) and not just plain black coffee? i'm going today with other people and i can't order thru the mobile app unfortunately... i also have really bad social anxiety so i hate making long orders (ex: asking for pumps of syrup or any other weird specific things). thanks for your help!
[Other] Currently at Big Lots for 50 cents a bottle
/u/bingeyboa
Created: Fri Nov 9 10:28:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmeh0/currently_at_big_lots_for_50_cents_a_bottle/
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https://i.redd.it/zzfcz4ahbcx11.jpg
[Tip] I just shit in a cup
/u/sstephenn [Recovering 5'10 | 129.8/58.8 | 18.6 | -60/27.2 | Male ]
Created: Fri Nov 9 10:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vmbk2/i_just_shit_in_a_cup/
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Don’t let it get this bad 😃
[Rant/Rave] Ever gain 7lbs in one day?
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 10:04:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vm6jr/ever_gain_7lbs_in_one_day/
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And see the number on the scale and remember looking at pics of yourself from that weight and thinking how chubby you looked?
My LW was 92lbs in the summer. I’ve just managed to sit below 100 for the last couple of months - I can’t seem to break free - all I do is eat....was sitting at 98 yesterday morning. Not great. Then went out with work friends last night and didn’t think I did too bad but lo and behold the scale just said 105 and I actually hate myself so much. And I still can’t stop eating today because I’m so hungover I’m shaking so I’ll probably be closer to 110 by the end of the day since apparently if I eat one meal I gain half my body weight. I can’t handle this :(
[Rant/Rave] When you cave and have to eat something.
/u/SundownPanicButton [1.57m| CW 54kg|GW 52kg| 21.8| 0 ]
Created: Fri Nov 9 09:51:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vm2da/when_you_cave_and_have_to_eat_something/
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Anyone else feel like shit when they’re trying to fast, but your stomach starts to hurt way too much for you to function and you end up having to eat something?
[Discussion] eating a bigger breakfast to avoid snack cravings
/u/QuietFollowing
Created: Fri Nov 9 09:46:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vm0xm/eating_a_bigger_breakfast_to_avoid_snack_cravings/
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My problem is snacking and bored eating but since im trying to tone my stomach I need to watch what I'm eating. I recently started eating bigger breakfasts so that my lunchtime when I eat my 100cal granola bar I'll be good. my meals have been going oatmeal, coffee, banana and then by 12-1pm I have 1 granola bar and usually 1 taco for dinner. I also never eat after 7pm. does anything else have any unusual eating patterns?
[Other] Therapy went well I guess [other][rant]
/u/Alexithymia115 [5'3" | SW:120 CW:117| 20.5|GW:115|UGW:110 | 23F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 09:38:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vly4k/therapy_went_well_i_guess_otherrant/
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So I told my therapist about my eating disorder... It went well. She didn't try to convince me to eat more. She briefly tried to convince me of all the physiological blah blah blah about my body set point blah blah blah before I shut her down and told her to shut up LOL like I fucking know already don't fucking tell me shit I already know.
And then we basically just explored the shutdown hyperarousal state that this comes from and the attachment trauma with my mom basically owning my body and trying to possess it and repeatedly physically violating it that this comes from. And we invoked my 16 year old demonic self to come out so we could have a talk. The 16 year old inside me is a fucking rage filled bitch who can't murder her mother but she can murder ME. LOL.
I mean I'm not magically fucking cured but I didn't count calories for dinner last night and even though finishing that bowl with carbs made me want to throw up I just kind of let myself have it. Granted I still know I was under 1100 calories yesterday. So still losing!
Apparently my homework is to work on feeling my body parts and owning them without punishing them. HAHA I tried to think about my toe last night and I looked down saw my stomach and got repulsed so I turned off all the lights and lit candles so I wouldn't have to see every bit of me.
Oh and we're back to weekly sessions because I'm extra crazy lately... Or rather as my therapist says "you're not crazy you have PTSD HUNNY (she can be sassy sometimes)".
On a less ED note more of a psycho-spiritual note, I did a nice cleansing ritual last night got this really nice very witchy cinnamon broom from trader Joe's swept my mother's spirit the fuuuuuuuck out my apt. And then I took a bath and scrubbed her off my goddamn skin. And then last night I had a dream that a giant golden protector dog chased Trump and my mother out of my house hahaha. And that felt good. Or as my SO said "oh so your idols chased all your demons out".
Funny thing just happened
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 09:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vltzp/funny_thing_just_happened/
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I was walking back to my dorm from my first class and holding my giant travel cup of tea. It’s cold out but the tea is good. I run into two people who just came from the class too, and they asked me if I wanted to get food with them. For most of us on here that’s always gonna be a no, and particularly today since I’m fasting. I say, “Oh, no thanks! I’m good,” and hold up my cup, because, I mean, it’s breakfast (and lunch and dinner). Didn’t think twice about it. To my surprise, they gave me a weird look and said that that wasn’t food, kind of jokingly, but also... I’m sure you’re all familiar with the vibe I’m talking about. I pretty quickly realized what happened and I just went “Haha, well-...” and bounced outta there.
Tea for food is apparently not commonplace outside of us, guys
[Other] Do you have workout videos you do everyday?
/u/krystallze
Created: Fri Nov 9 09:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vlqtp/do_you_have_workout_videos_you_do_everyday/
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On youtube for example i have 3 videos i stick to but they are getting kind of boring and i need some new ones. Also tell me how many times you do them 🐥
[Rant/Rave] my mom said to me “jUsT eAt NoRmALLy aNd ExErCiSe”
/u/orangeinfusedbanana [15f | 5’8 | UGW: 100]
Created: Fri Nov 9 09:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vlq0t/my_mom_said_to_me_just_eat_normally_and_exercise/
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thank you so much omg wow you’ve cured me 🤠🤠🤠🤠
[Rant/Rave] I keep diet pills as a “backup plan” to manage my food stress...
/u/mmblarg
Created: Fri Nov 9 09:11:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vlpoy/i_keep_diet_pills_as_a_backup_plan_to_manage_my/
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Just felt like sharing. I bought 60 pills of Skinny Gal diet pills by Rockstar and just keep them hidden in a multivitamin bottle by my bed. I never take them, they’re just there as comfort I guess. When I start gaining or maintaining weight I think “alright, I have those pills. Just try try one more day of restricting, because I have those pills if it doesn’t work.”
I know diet pills are dangerous and honestly never work, but emotionally I feel safer and less stressed out thinking there is a little pill on my nightstand that could make me loose weight, but it’ll come at a cost to my health. So i never take them, they just sit there rooting me on haha
[Discussion] DAE get told they look thinner than they are?
/u/homestuckintraffic [5'7 | SW/CW: 200 | GW: 120]
Created: Fri Nov 9 08:38:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vlfo1/dae_get_told_they_look_thinner_than_they_are/
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People usually guess my weight around 150-160 when I'm actually nearly 200. I don't see it though. I think I look like a morbidly obese hog. Body dysmorphia rules amirite?
What are your Starbucks drink orders?
/u/peachsy
Created: Fri Nov 9 08:20:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vla7n/what_are_your_starbucks_drink_orders/
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I need coffee in my life, and I work in a mall which has 4 separate Starbucks so I am there almost every day. What are your favourite drinks that are low-cal yet satisfy your sweet tooth?
Bonus points if they are holiday drinks!
[Other] How I think I look like in the mirror
/u/yellixis [160/ 5'3" |cw: 60kg | bmi: 24 | M]
Created: Fri Nov 9 08:16:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vl8u1/how_i_think_i_look_like_in_the_mirror/
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https://i.redd.it/2qk3p83tnbx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Esophagitis hurts like a MF but at least I have an excuse not to eat.
/u/ArcticLurker [5”5 | CW: 140 | GW: 105]
Created: Fri Nov 9 08:09:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vl6p9/esophagitis_hurts_like_a_mf_but_at_least_i_have/
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Today I made the huge mistake of swallowing a very large ibuprofen pill without water (I’m on a bus to London and my smart ass forgot to take some on the bus). Everything was fine for a while until I noticed some discomfort after swallowing which got worse with every time.
I looked up the symptoms and I’m pretty sure I’ve got pill-induced esophagitis. It hurts so bad and makes me cringe whenever I swallow (pretty sure the guy that sits next to me thinks I’m batshit crazy lol)
After some more snooping I noticed one word: dysphagia. I can’t tell you how excited I got when it hit me that even if I WANTED to eat I probably couldn’t because it hurt too much.
I’m omw home from England so I was already trying to think of some strategies to avoid my mothers cooking and this was just perfect. She’s a doctor too so I wouldn’t even have to fake anything because she knows it’s so painful.
But, bois, as I’m writing this I can’t help but notice how insane all this is. Esophagitis hurts like CRAZY. It feels like swallowing concentrated acid. But all my brain can think of is: “Dude this is like fasting but without the risk of a binge! Amazing!!!!!!”
Eating disorders are so fucked. I can’t even.
Knowing I have an event where I’ll be consuming calories and alcohol is stressful
/u/ashleyashley123
Created: Fri Nov 9 08:08:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vl6mk/knowing_i_have_an_event_where_ill_be_consuming/
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Hosting a party for a friend tonight and I’m obviously going to be consuming alcohol and probably snacks so gotta restrict all day for that. Stresses me out knowing I have to drink and eat to look normal. Also stresses me out that I have to keep track of everything. Could be a normal person and just drink and eat and not care but that will not happen haha. Just had to rant!!!!! Also, how do you guys avoid drunken binges? Im always at my weakest when I’m drunk.
Also thanks to everyone in this community, you guys are great.
[Discussion] DAE like feeling hungry?
/u/likrot
Created: Fri Nov 9 08:08:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vl6g9/dae_like_feeling_hungry/
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i love feeling hungry. it makes me feel so thin and good about myself, especially when im not specifically fasting. when i feel full i hate myself for eating so much. a day where i eat nothing at all is a wonderful day. am i alone in feeling this way?
[Discussion] Couldn’t eat my favorite cereal-List of foods you miss?
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:47:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vl0fo/couldnt_eat_my_favorite_cereallist_of_foods_you/
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It was the protein kind that’s actually pretty boring and has more fiber and protein than anything else.
But anyway, I had to really think about it and I changed my mind several times and the people I live with were like “wtf.. it’s your favorite”
We all like it but I think they bought it with myself in mind because I didn’t realize until today but I haven’t bought it in months....
Now I’m thinking about things I’m not “allowed” to eat that I used to love, you know? Like: genuine ramen, chocolate, french fries, most American Chinese food 😭, and more. I convince myself that it’s ok because I’ve found healthier alternatives or that eliminating them from my diet is good for me which again true but I haven’t eaten these things mainly due to my ed 😪 Like even smoothies can be a no go for me and I used to make them all the time. I just hate drinking calories. I don’t drink juice or anything like that either and I used to love sugary drinks like snapple. Even 0cal juice or fizzy drinks can be a no go 🤦🏾♀️
What are some foods you miss or don’t allow yourself to indulge in?
Aah yes, body dysmorphia in a nutshell. (Sorry for the typos, I never proofread)
/u/VakariansFemshep
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:32:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vkw3b/aah_yes_body_dysmorphia_in_a_nutshell_sorry_for/
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https://i.redd.it/znzvvdf0gbx11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Took a 2-day Vacation From My Problems aaaaaand now we’re back!
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 148 | 25.4 | -92 lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:31:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vkvt0/took_a_2day_vacation_from_my_problems_aaaaaand/
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This week marks my 8th wedding anniversary, and I decided to Eat Normally^TM for the two days I had activities planned with my husband. We went to a fancy dinner Wednesday night in SD and I had a cocktail AND steak AND a fancy coffee drink. I wore a sexy dress in a size smaller than anything I’ve worn in 5+ years.
Thursday (yesterday) we went off-roading and I packed cheese and French bread and fruits but also Gushers and sour cream and onion Lays and a mini cake. We found a gorgeous picnic spot, drank some wine, fooled around, it was great.
I weighed myself this morning and I’ve gained back .8 of a pound. But I’m back to restriction anyway so it’s going to be ok. That .8 of a pound was worth the break I took from my brain. We had an amazing time together and I’m going to hang onto that like flowers pressed in the pages of a book.
That is all. :) Enjoy your day, lovelies!
[Discussion] Protein Shakes
/u/waverliethelane
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:28:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vkv0i/protein_shakes/
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Does anyone do protein or supplement shakes ?
Dream can feel too real
/u/Wigforfire [5'2 | 100.3 | 18.89 | 30lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:27:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vkupv/dream_can_feel_too_real/
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6 layers of chocolate cake, each separated by a thick layer of chocolate frosting, doused in semi hardened ganache on the outside and armed to the teeth with white chocolate shreds. It must have been a foot tall at least, looking at it from the intersect, and in front of me was half of this monster; my death, by chocolate cake.
​
My family stood around me. Anticipation? It was my sister's birthday after all, but something about the excitement said it wasn't mustered for her... was she even there? I looked around and there she was, smiling at me, her fork waiting eagerly for mine.
​
*Why do I have half a cake?* The thought hits me but the expectation has already outweighed the fear and the teeth of the fork break the soft exterior and disappear into the spongy dessert. The first piece of cake hits my mouth and then it's gone. I ate it? All of it? I must have! And I haven't eaten breakfast? That means 3 more meals and 2 more snacks for today!? This cake is from whole foods I have to... I'll estimate... A slice 400 cals? no 500 to be safe. I can't believe this.
​
And I'm awake in bed now, my sister's birthday is a month past and I haven't eaten cake since then... I had to look up the calories in a Whole foods death by chocolate cake this morning just to be sure. 510.
[Other] Self control is...
/u/libismanaged
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:25:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vku2n/self_control_is/
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Not even putting a dent in the basket of chips at the Mexican restaurant. Just a jumbo margarita and a poblano pepper. I feel godly.
Are Fitbits accurate at measuring the number of kcals you burn?
/u/-PM-ME-NICE-THINGS- [5"2 | CW: 51kg | BMI: 20.6 | Ortho]
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vku1i/are_fitbits_accurate_at_measuring_the_number_of/
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I'm looking into getting a Fitbit but want to make sure I don't have false expectations - are they worth it?
[Discussion] Anyone Have big boobs at first and then had small ones from restricting?
/u/wastedspacecat
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:25:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vku19/anyone_have_big_boobs_at_first_and_then_had_small/
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Please tell me there is hope. I hate my boobs the most out of everything that I hate about my body , they’re saggy/gross C cups and they used to be double d’s when I was about 40 pounds ago and all I want are A cups and to be dainty . Small boobs are my husbands favorite unfortunately for me . But I don’t know if my body is capable of having tiny boobs :( . I don’t even care if they’re saggy A cups at this point , I’ve had 3 kids, my perky days are behind me I’m afraid . Anyone go from big boobs to little boobs? Is there hope? Please tell me there’s hope and I’m not stuck with these monster eye sores , they make me sick to my stomach and I just want to cut them off .
[Discussion] what are some good movies/shows/youtube’s to watch when avoiding a binge?
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Fri Nov 9 07:13:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vkqvm/what_are_some_good_moviesshowsyoutubes_to_watch/
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i’ve been watching amberlynn reid’s vids lately and they put me off so much from eating and help me when fasting, especially when so many of her excuses i’ve used myself.
what do y’all watch?
[Rant/Rave] Glamorizing EDs?
/u/ALittleBitChowderNow
Created: Fri Nov 9 06:55:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vklnq/glamorizing_eds/
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Interrupting regularly scheduled programming for this absolute rant (sorry):
I saw someone on r/progresspics yesterday who lost something like 80-100 pounds in six months via simple old CICO. Now, of course I'm happy for them, but, honestly, it's highly unlikely that amount of weight was lost in that time period without severe restriction.
No one commented anything other than, "you go, girl!" Or, "you look great, keep going!"
The only difference between what that OP was doing and what we experience is the bingeing, purging, chewing/spitting, etc. hasn't kicked in yet, or if it has, she's not able to be honest about it without getting dinged in the comments for it.
This isn't a rant about that person or their weight loss or their potential issues with food. It's about a culture that glorifies weight loss so much that even insane amounts of pounds lost in a short period of time raises no red flags for anyone. And we wonder why EDs are so rampant?
I know I'm a hypocrite here: If the internet hive mind cheered me on for losing that amount of weight I'd be thrilled. I just don't wish this shit on anyone else. I wish someone would caution that OP so it DOESN'T turn into an ED.
On a holiday and trying to refrain from having a panic attack
/u/xParabola [5'7 | CW: 136 | 21.29 | -34 | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 06:46:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vkjfk/on_a_holiday_and_trying_to_refrain_from_having_a/
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I’ve done well lately and thought I had largely recovered. I went from fasting/OMAD to eating regular meals multiple times a day for about 2 months now.
Currently I’m on a holiday and letting myself go a bit. I just saw myself in the mirror and I have gained. A lot. I just took photo’s and compared it to two months ago and I look HUGE and I’m trying not to panic here.
Fuck, I really want to relapse and just fast until I’m back at my LW again but I still have 1,5 weeks to go with my mom monitoring me constantly (thus purging not being an option).
Sorry for the rant. I didn’t know where to go. I really want to crawl out of my skin right now, what the fuck have I done..
[Discussion] DAE count calories for fresh fruit?
/u/skinnycoffee [5’2” | 102 | 18.7 | -38 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 06:42:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vki9w/dae_count_calories_for_fresh_fruit/
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I haven’t been as diligent about counting fruit calories as I used to but I’ve been looking extra bloated and ugly lately so I’m doubling down on counting every calorie I consume. But is it “”odd”” to count fruit calories or does everyone else do it too?
As much as I love you freaks, I don’t wanna be a freak amongst freaks asgdhdkkfl
[Discussion] Celebrities with ED’s
/u/HoldenCaulfield7
Created: Fri Nov 9 06:12:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vkapj/celebrities_with_eds/
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So I remember my therapist and I talking about signs of bulimia. I was complaining about how swollen my lymph nodes get. (Running seems to be the only cure for this for me) My therapist outright said, “oh that actress Jennifer Lawrence is bulimic. Her face has the tell tale signs.” She told me she can usually tell when people are bulimic. Of course I know certain peoples faces are simply shaped that way but I do notice that J Law is an example of someone who’s face tends to go up and down in terms of swelling. Do you notice or know of any celebrities with ED signs?
I automatically think Mary Kate Olsen in 2008ish, Nicole Richie in the early 2000s and Hilary Duff when she got those veneers.
Princess Diana was also bulimic and wrote and spoke about it in the 90’s. I’ll never forget the way she described it.
[Diana’s speech on ED’s ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNI9aRUb3k)
The fact that Diana, someone I look up to so much, has gone through what I’ve gone through for years makes me feel better. I can’t even really put it into words. RIP Princess Di and thank you for being so open, so articulate and so honest about something very dark, something many of us will never share. 💕 👸🏼
On another note... Sometimes I wonder just how common they are in Hollywood.
The model Charli Howard has spoken about her struggles with bulimia and anorexia in great detail as well. I listened to her on a podcast. I would highly recommend it. It’s episode 15 on the podcast “I’m over it.” Hosted by Atlanta de Cadenet Taylor
Does anyone else find it comforting when celebrities or public figures speak vocally about their disorders, their recoveries and their relapses?
Like this sub it makes me feel less alone and less for lack of a better word, crazy.I truly wish ED’s and mental illness in general didn’t have such a stigma, but coming here reading what you all struggle with resonates so deeply with me.
Don’t know what I’d do without this community at this point. ❤️ So, thank you.
[Help] No Binge Reminders?
/u/smmcg1123
Created: Fri Nov 9 06:05:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vk95u/no_binge_reminders/
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I need something to snap me out of the mindless binges and the thoughts of “it just doesn’t matter” when I start a binge.
Each morning I do my affirmations and set a simple goal of no binges, and write down possible roadblocks to plan my day and avoid binging. It doesn’t work. I seriously think it’s some sort of out-of-body experience. Yesterday I had a plan in place to avoid the snacks at a meeting - a good plan! But then I get there and I’m happily chatting with a coworker as I settle in, and next thing I know there is a plate of chips and chocolate in front of me that I picked up! Seriously! How?????!!!!! And I hear this part of my brain say, “meh, no biggie, just a little snack” and I eat it AND go back for more.
Then later I tell myself just ONE Oreo. Ha, bullshit. The back part of my brain recognizes the bullshit, but I’m powerless to stop myself.
I need something to snap myself back to reality. I’ve tried setting alarms on my phone and watch with secret “code” word, and it worked for about a day. It went off at all my trigger times as planned, but a day or so later I ignored them.
I’ve considered snapping a rubber band or something on my wrist, but that sounds ridiculous and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t do it anyway.
Binge eaters, how do you successfully snap yourself back to reality? Is the ANY way to avoid this out-of-body lack of control? I need concrete ideas to put into action today. The holidays are coming and I’m freaking out about the food.
First smoothie in MONTHS due to my fear of liquid cals (besides alcohol). Proud of myself!
/u/emls
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:55:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vk6na/first_smoothie_in_months_due_to_my_fear_of_liquid/
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https://i.redd.it/19mrdwvpyax11.jpg
Celebrities with ED’s
/u/HoldenCaulfield7
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:55:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vk6ks/celebrities_with_eds/
---
So I remember my therapist and I talking about signs of bulimia. I was complaining about how swollen my lymph nodes get. (Running seems to be the only cure for this for me) My therapist outright said, “oh that actress Jennifer Lawrence is bulimic. Her face has the tell tale signs.” She told me she can usually tell when people are bulimic. Of course I know certain peoples faces are simply shaped that way but I do notice that J Law is an example of someone who’s face tends to go up and down in terms of swelling. Do you notice or know of any celebrities with ED signs?
I automatically think Mary Kate Olsen in 2008ish, Nicole Richie in the early 2000s and Hilary Duff when she got those veneers.
Princess Diana was a know bulimic and wrote and spoke about it. I’ll never forget the way she described it.
[Diana’s speech on ED’s ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNI9aRUb3k)
The Efficacy of Purging - Here's a scientific study for those who were curious, showing how much we can realistically eliminate during a purge
/u/self_d3struction
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:43:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vk3w9/the_efficacy_of_purging_heres_a_scientific_study/
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https://www.scienceofeds.org/2016/05/13/on-the-efficacy-of-self-induced-vomiting/
[Rant/Rave] I gain two pounds this week
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW: 116 | GW 100-105 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:37:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vk2kv/i_gain_two_pounds_this_week/
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I’m so salty. Now I have to lose 8 pounds instead of 6, by thanksgiving. Guess I’m just fasting and eating less than 500 calories this week and next. Also gonna take a bunch of laxatives to clear myself out. Maybe I’ll whoosh when the period stops. Idk I’m just salty.
[Rant/Rave] Saw my friend eating sugar and got nauseous
/u/misa--chan
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:22:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vjzce/saw_my_friend_eating_sugar_and_got_nauseous/
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I saw my friend get a 150 ml cup of coffee and add 15 GRAMS of sugar to it. I'm drinking diet coke and lost my hunger after witnessing that. Godbless
[Help] What is happening with me and what should I do?
/u/angelicwhale
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:18:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vjyfa/what_is_happening_with_me_and_what_should_i_do/
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I hope this isn’t skirting by what’s allowed on here but I’m seriously worried and confused?
I’ve had an ED for 6/7 years but I “recovered” and gained lots of weight. Recently, 3 months ago I relapsed and since I was starting at such a high weight, I was losing a pound a day.
In the last month and a half I haven’t lost anything. Like seriously. I lose .2 of a pound and I’ll gain it back over the week.
I’m eating close to 300 calories a day now when it started at 600, I purge anything more than 400. This disease is killing me because I can’t see any changes so I keep restricting more. I’m not losing inches around any part of me and if anything I’m more bloated
I have somewhat regular BMs and I drink 3 water bottles a day. I don’t eat salt or sugar. My usual food a day is an egg, a single piece of toast, and plain cooked skinless chicken breast.
I’m always dizzy and I haven’t had more than 1000 calories in months. I’m so confused and worried if something bad is going on with my body
Has anyone experienced anything similar? What did you do? How do I break past this wall? Is there something wrong with me?
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! November 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vjwyt/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for November 09, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 09, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 9 05:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vjwxj/daily_food_diary_november_09_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 09, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Why am I plateauing?
/u/jewishtemptress
Created: Fri Nov 9 04:11:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vjkyb/why_am_i_plateauing/
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Argh. My TDEE is 2200 to 2600; I have a deficit of 1400 to 1800. I honestly shouldn’t be having a plateau. I want to tear my hair out.
[Rant/Rave] It’s snowing
/u/AbandonedDragon
Created: Fri Nov 9 03:51:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vjhaj/its_snowing/
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This is not a drill
Fucking went to leaving for work this morning and it’s snowing. Like real big fully-formed snow flakes. It’s not sticking right now because it was raining earlier so the ground is wet.
My ass is still fat but my body is absolute shit at temperature regulation. I want to die.
Also my throat hurts. I binged last night. And drank two beers on top of liquor.
I’ve gained a scary amount of weight.
Boyfriend wants to go out for burgers tonight (because i whines about him going without me like the fat ass I am, but I’ve been craving a burger from that place for a year and a half and have resisted. Probably going to have to cancel tonight as well.
Have to go work with an absolute bitch today. Like I think I’m leaving this job because of the way they let her talk to me and others.
It’s not even 6 am. I regret getting out of bed.
What are your safe foods?
/u/Serephyte
Created: Fri Nov 9 02:49:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vj5zl/what_are_your_safe_foods/
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I’m pretty sure this topic has come up time and time again but I feel like I’m so tired of having the same safe foods and I just want to try something else...
My safe foods have been air fried Zucchini with some herb seasoning and no oil and it’s just lame after two months
[Rant/Rave] My formal dress looks like shit on me because I can’t stop binging.
/u/2LOSEYOURMIND4
Created: Fri Nov 9 02:08:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9viz3u/my_formal_dress_looks_like_shit_on_me_because_i/
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First time posting here so please bear with me. I just need to rant.
For my formal (next Thursday) I bought a slim (like, skin tight) satin dress with an open back. When I tried it on months ago it looked fine. Tried it on today and I’ve got the worst gut! UGH!
I keep telling myself I need to stop binging so i won’t look like a potato in it, but I seriously can’t stop myself. I’ll go all day, hardy eating, then I’ll pig out at night
I really hate that I can’t have a proper relationship with food 😭
My boyfriend and I broke up and o can't decide whether to binge and cry, or starve and cry.
/u/cancookaroast [179cm | CW: 80kg | BMI: 24.9 | WL: 17kg | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 01:59:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vixfs/my_boyfriend_and_i_broke_up_and_o_cant_decide/
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Intermittent Fasting/Weight loss success eating earlier, skipping dinner, going to bed hungry?
/u/o0Teardropgirl0o
Created: Fri Nov 9 01:52:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9viwbq/intermittent_fastingweight_loss_success_eating/
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Anyone did or is practicing something like this?
[Discussion] How to respond to ‘if you won’t eat neither will I’ situations???
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Fri Nov 9 01:38:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9viu2i/how_to_respond_to_if_you_wont_eat_neither_will_i/
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Recently people have started getting overly concerned about me yadda yadda little do they know I’m a healthy BMI and have a long way to go yet haha but anyway,,, I’ve had one or two times where people have said ok if you aren’t eating I’m not either, or if you don’t eat why should I?
This is coming from people who know about my ED.
I don’t want to just say BECAUSE MY MIND INCREDIBLY DISORDERED AND YOURS ISNT but sometimes that’s all I want to do. How the fuck do you even respond to that.
DAE have parents who had/have an ED?
/u/sugafreedreams [18M / 181cm 🏳️🌈 Highest BMI: 30.3 / Current BMI: 16.9]
Created: Fri Nov 9 01:35:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vitja/dae_have_parents_who_hadhave_an_ed/
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My mom used to be bulimic for almost 10 years, it's someting she told me very recently and I honestly had absolutely no idea. It does explain why she has had over 10 cavities and has to drink cold drinks with a straw so her teeth don't hurt. Looking at old pictures she has the classic bulimia chipmunk cheeks and swollen glands under the jawline, even though she seemed to be almost underweight back then.
I can also understand what drove her into it, she had a very traumatic childhood with abusive parents and a schizophrenic sister to take care of. She moved away from home with my dad at age 17 just to get away from her parents who were constantly arguing and fighting, then refused to have any sort of contact with them for almost 15 years. It's interesting that I also ended up with an eating disorder even though I've personally had the best and most safe childhood anyone could ask for. Maybe it really is genetic.
[Help] Rueben Fest - fear and sandwiches, calorie calculation help requested.
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Fri Nov 9 01:22:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9viraj/rueben_fest_fear_and_sandwiches_calorie/
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I’m doing OMAD and my husband is insisting we go to this Rueben event thing downtown. And then a cocktail bar for a drink afterward.
I’ve never eaten one before.
I googled calories but each was different.
Does anyone have any experience with these? Do ingredients vary a lot?
My limit is 800 a day and I was kind of hoping to save 160cal for one alcoholic drink.
I’m not sure if I should eat a whole one, half, or take out some ingredient. It’s going to be my only food tomorrow.
Thanks
[Rant/Rave] What happened when I stopped drinking: A Manifesto
/u/brattyfawn [5"1.5 | CW 106 | GW 97 | 19.3 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 9 01:13:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vipmw/what_happened_when_i_stopped_drinking_a_manifesto/
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*Fuck,* that vodka made me gain so much weight. I wonder how much I'll lose now that I'm in recovery?
3.3 pounds in a week?! And I didn't even try???!! YAAAAAASSSSSSSS
I wonder how much more I'll lose if I just throw in a walk every morning and eat cleaner?
Another 3 pounds in a week? This is amazing, why did I never think of this before?! Oh, right. I'm an alcoholic. Fair enough. Anyway, recovery rules!
I should start tracking my calories again. Not like I did when I had an ED 6 years ago, just to see how many I'm eating a day to lose weight. Nothing crazy.
Hmm... the weight loss is slowing down again. I'll try and aim for 800 calories a day then, that's okay. Better than the 2000+ I was having when I was drinking a bottle of vodka a day or the 300 I limited myself to during my ED, that's for sure!
Down 10 pounds! I still should lose a bit more, though.
I'm going to join the gym. Just to tone. It'll be fine.
I'm going to increase my cardio. Nothing crazy, just up my time on the treadmill.
I should cut eggs out of my diet again. Too many calories. No more oil for cooking, either. Or rice.
Should I go keto? Can you do keto at 1000 calories a day? Or HCLF? Decisions, decisions.
Down 17 pounds!!! But still, more won't hurt. And I've done this over 2 months, that's not THAT short of a time frame. ED? Nah, completely unrelated. I'm doing this the *\~\*healthy way\*\~.*
*WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE SUPERMARKET IS OUT OF RICE CAKES DO THEY NOT KNOW I EAT THOSE EVERY DAY FOR LUNCH HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE LUNCH NOW*
I'm plateauing a bit again. Need to burn more at the gym. 600 calories per session? Let's see how that goes.
23 pounds down! I got down to the weight I said I would maintain at, finally!
...
...
I'm still not happy though?
...
...
Fuck.
[Other] What’s your ideal body type?
/u/lovelysilliness
Created: Fri Nov 9 01:10:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vip2b/whats_your_ideal_body_type/
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My ideal body type, though it does change now and then, always comes back to a ballet body. Thin, toned, strong as fuck, perky booty, and ting tits. God I’d kill for that body despite knowing what ballerinas go through to get it. I was wondering about you guys! What’s the body type you keep going back to in your head that sounds absolutely ideal?
Sorry if this question gets asked all the time. I searched and it looked like it’s been a while.
anybody else get really bad during the cold season?
/u/everybhodyhurt
Created: Fri Nov 9 00:49:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vil0n/anybody_else_get_really_bad_during_the_cold_season/
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for some reason it seems to be the peak of winter/winter itself. macaroni, chips, ice cream, chicken nuggets, pizza, oreos, candy bars, breakfast sandwhiches, you name it. i binge. binge. binge. purge. repeat. it’s so bad. i feel like im getting worse...
i stole a package of brownies and cake pops and 3 cinnamon rolls from work today (cafe) and i feel disgusted. i feel helpless
[Rant/Rave] The drawer of shame. That was a good binge. I’m ashamed to same I’m impressed with myself. I also hate myself immensely.
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Fri Nov 9 00:25:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vigrx/the_drawer_of_shame_that_was_a_good_binge_im/
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https://i.redd.it/61ptrvjwb9x11.jpg
[Other] I drew something today. [nsfw]-ish?
/u/a-confused-princess [5'7| cw135 | gw120 | relapsing?recovering?]
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:57:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vib88/i_drew_something_today_nsfwish/
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https://i.redd.it/859low3w69x11.jpg
Recently got a part time job at a fancy schmancy grocery store. The work is fine and the pay is fine ... but omg the temptation
/u/DecentSubject
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:52:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9via56/recently_got_a_part_time_job_at_a_fancy_schmancy/
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I've binged SO MUCH in the short time that I've been working here! It's so hard because I'm surrounded by delicious food all day and smelling delicious food and watching people buy delicious food ... it makes it so hard to put it out of my mind. Even when I've just finished eating now, I still think about trying out more of the food that I saw that day. :(
Anyone else work in an environment with lots of food? Any advice?
[Rant/Rave] Vapor
/u/imrevolting [5'6 |CW: 147 | GW1: 140| Lost: 17 lbs | 32 F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:32:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi63h/vapor/
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I feel so overwhelmed with life right now. Sometimes I wish that I never had to make another decision again. No more action, just rest. I drove around for hours today because I didn’t want to come home. The lines of the road, winding of the steering wheel, soft clicks of the turn signal. Driving in circles through dark neighborhoods to escape. I want to be so light that I float up up up and away like vapor. So temporary, unrestrained, and free.
I am this weekend at my sisters place.... And damn I am so scared...
/u/Babunator
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:28:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi5e4/i_am_this_weekend_at_my_sisters_place_and_damn_i/
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Like the title says I am visiting my sister. I love her to death and I am so happy to see her. But my Lizard-Brain always loses his shit when I am at my sisters or parents place and I eat everything I see. Everything.
​
Goddamn I hate myself... Wish me luck and sorry for that short rant.
Is peach down?
/u/puppyfang [♡ 5'6" |GW 115| nb imp ♡]
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi57n/is_peach_down/
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Is peach down or am I just having connection issues?
I keep opening the app and it’s just the home page but -blank-. Tried closing out the app, restarting my phone, restarting my internet.
Aiiieeee is it just me?
[Rant/Rave] First 24 hour fast
/u/cattivity
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:20:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi3qz/first_24_hour_fast/
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Im on my 20th hour
I feel okay I guess but I honestly just want to die. It doesn't feel like I'm making any progress because my stupid body will not expell any waste despite all my efforts, my face is still puffy from purging, still retaining water weight.
I know I should be more positive but I just don't feel positive. I stepped on the scale and I'm back to 133 which is disgusting to me. I don't feel clean or empty, my stomach is actually potruding from bloat. I'm so frustrated I just want to sleep.
Tdlr; 1st 24 hour fast but i dont feel better at all because I'm constipated, gassy, and bloated from binging the days before.
[Discussion] I never see people who look like me
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:17:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi34z/i_never_see_people_who_look_like_me/
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I see slender people, big people, short and tall. Hourglass or apple, but I feel like I never see my body type. Maybe I’m just blind but I feel like since leaving school most other girls have either gotten slim or gained weight in the “right” places. For me I did gain a bunch but I’ve officially lost it so now I’m just back at square one. I’m so boxy lol wide and flabby. I feel like so many of you say the same things but I never see other people in public like me. They are always more proportional or maybe just carry themselves better fuck idk LOL
[Rant/Rave] My weight won’t go down 😭
/u/gummypanda95 [5'5" | 112 lb | 18.5 | GW : 100 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:16:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi30f/my_weight_wont_go_down/
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Hi everyone - I’ve lurked on the sub for the last few months. My LW was 7-9 years ago at 60 lb, I never ate anything and just slept all the day. I went through a phase where I hit my highest weight 120ish... last year I thought - hey, my weight is finally evening out with me eating (kind of) want I want at 107-109. Since then I’ve slowly been gaining weight and now I’m at 112-113 T.T . I’ve never felt so hopeless about it. I thought I had hypothyroidism but my blood tests came out (kind of) normal (almost borderline on some tests - not enough for medication anyways). I exercise 5 days a week - 3 days cardio, one day legs, one day abs, and walk an average of 7000 steps a day. I eat at TDEE or lower but my weight STILL GOES UP / STAYS AT 113. What the hell???
This made me start to binge and purge (no more than a day or two a week thank god) AND chew and spit 😭 I can’t stop eating all day ... ugh I hate this so much.
Anyone else in the boat of - I am eating TDEE or below AND exercising but my weight STILL won’t go down???
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else have a bit of a drinking problem as well?
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:15:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi2qs/anyone_else_have_a_bit_of_a_drinking_problem_as/
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I never drank until I was 21 and didn’t drink a lot until after I was raped at 21 and went on this huge bender and drank a shit ton while on lithium (whoops)
I tried to go to AA but they said I wasn’t enough of an alcoholic because I hadn’t hit “rock bottom” yet, which basically means getting in trouble with the law I guess? Idk. I was also in college so they were just like “oh it’s just because you’re in college!!”
It got slightly better but I’ve continued to drink heavily. When I was in a long distance relationship, I’d have pitcher margaritas to deal with feeling lonely. When that relationship turned abusive, I’d down a bottle of wine. When that stopped working, I wouldn’t eat but would still drink vodka coke zeroes to help my “anxiety” and to “help me sleep.”
Now I’m safe, I’m in a home that’s safe and I’m with someone who’s safe. It hasn’t been that long so I know I shouldn’t expect myself to be “cured” or anything, but I’m still not eating, I still want to be underweight, and I still went through 3/4 of a bottle of Absolut by myself, in my room alone, this week.
I know it’s all just the same thing but a different face—the over spending, the not eating, the drinking. I just wish I could fix “it,” whatever “it” is. I’m not physically dependent and never have been on any substance, but I still use it as a crutch—I’m lonely, I drink. I’m depressed, I drink. I can’t fall asleep because I’m too hungry from restricting, I drink.
[Discussion] DAE not calorie count alcohol?
/u/fasttmath
Created: Thu Nov 8 23:12:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vi22g/dae_not_calorie_count_alcohol/
---
Idk it’s something weird I do that I’ve noticed. It’s just too much for me to think about, but it’s probably good tho that I don’t feel like I need too because i’m working on recovering. :)
[Other] I'm probably going to fast for 4 days next week if I can
/u/Dovahkiin14
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:53:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhxtf/im_probably_going_to_fast_for_4_days_next_week_if/
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I have the means to do it. I know I can get away with it and my family won't notice. I don't know if I'm mentally strong enough. I know everyone will think this is a stupid idea and yea, it is. But I really fucking hate myself and I'm so fucking overweight, I just want to die. My eating disorder has been getting worse a lot in the past 2 weeks or so, and it sucks, but oh well. I deserve this:(
[Other] Starting recovery
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:45:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhwa6/starting_recovery/
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I have been obsessed with food for so long- bingeing and restricting in a horrible cycle that leaves me very weak and out of shape but at a constantly "healthy" weight that rapidly fluctuates within ten or twenty pounds. I paid $30 for LoseIt premium which I can NOT afford. I go grocery shopping every day because I can't stop thinking about food. I make spreadsheets and lists of calories and products and recipes and many hours of each day are lost to my ED. Recently I've started abusing laxatives daily too and my body feels horrible.
Earlier this week I didn't eat for 3 days and my brain turned to mush. I know that's nothing for some of you, but I felt my mind slow down horribly and I kept doing stuff like putting the milk carton in the cupboard and things like that. I couldn't carry a conversation. I could barely read.
The way it affected my brain felt like a wake up call. I feel so vain having these issues with my body and eating when a bigger part of me doesn't think it matters. I fast/restrict to compensate for out of control binge eating so I knew if I ever stopped, I would gain a lot of weight, at least at first. But I decided this week that I would rather be fat than have my mind completely taken over by obsession and fear and shame and guilt. Even if I end up really fat and unattractive, I can still be happy, but I can't be happy like this.
I want to have a normal, healthy relationship with food, even if it's at the cost of looking good. I have been trying so hard. I bought my biggest fear foods to eat. The first day I binged out of control. The last few days I've been overeating and trying to figure out what normal portions are and stuff but I think I can do this. Already a few times I've felt huge regret. I already can't see my ribs anymore. My belly looks fat and chubby and round again. I kind of look like ET. But I think I will get the hang of it.
Thank you so much for this community. It has meant so much to me. I would love advice but if you have none that's okay, I wish you all the best!!
[Rant/Rave] Cant have one piece of candy aparently
/u/LilLunaBuggie
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:40:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhv8d/cant_have_one_piece_of_candy_aparently/
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Im so fucking mad and just fuming right now. I know I'm not super active with you guys and I'm mostly a lurker so I'm sorry for this but this just fueled my ED and anger. All I had today was a bowl of rice and teriyaki grilled chicken that totaled 415 calories. I found the few left over peices of Halloween candy that my fiance had in his lunch box, I hadn't had any and was going to treat myself to a peice of the chewy and crunchy jolly rancher bites.
Right as I'm raving about being happy I found them my roommate says from his makeshift livingroom bedroom, "Aren't you on a diet?"
???????!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?CAN I NOT HAVE A SINGLE PEICE OF CANDY ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK I didn't say I was gonna eat a whole fucking bag?? Like what????
He even had the gall to ask if I was okay after I went quiet for a few minutes. What the hell. I just couldn't say anything and turned around.
Now I'm trying not to cry in the kitchen while drinking a bunch of water and taking an ass ton of vitamins to make sure im not hungry. You know. For that single peice of candy. Sorry for the jumbled mess I'm just so shocked bc he is such a "supportive friend" bc he's just "worried about me".
Fuck off and fuck the candy too.
[Discussion] Weight vs Measurements
/u/trickasfuck [170cm | CW: 66.8kg | GW: 59.0kg | -3.2kg | 20F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:36:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhub6/weight_vs_measurements/
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I commented on another thread but decided to make my own post. Which do y’all base your progress off of? Tape measure or the scale? As it says in my flair I’m about 170cm (5’7”) and 66.8kg (147lbs) but I wear a size 4/small and my measurements are 35-26.75-37. It feels like my weight is too high for those measurements but idk 😐
[Discussion] DAE irrationally compare themselves in Victoria Secret models?
/u/ricemask [5'6" | HW:155 | UGW: 100 | 🍑: riceemask]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhtoj/dae_irrationally_compare_themselves_in_victoria/
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Today my mom told me that the first Filipina model is going to be walking the Victoria Secret Fashion Show and how we're both 21 and how smart she is and how she basically went to the Harvard of the Philippines and how her face is not too tan and how skinny she is! And ya know how Filipino moms go fucking crazy about any kind of reference to Filipinos and the Philippines in United States tv networking!!1!111
So ya, now looking up Adriana Lima's workout plan when in reality ya know she just doesn't eat. 🤷🏽♀️
I hate myself...
/u/SnowFaerie [5'6" | SW 170 | CW 147 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:30:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vht2a/i_hate_myself/
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https://i.redd.it/bg27h2cer8x11.jpg
[Tip] Thanksgiving freaking out but think I may have a plan and wanna help others!!
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:25:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhrtz/thanksgiving_freaking_out_but_think_i_may_have_a/
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If anyone is like me I’m already in an anxiety mode about it and have worked and reworked an idea until I’m about to loose my mind! I usually eat 443 calories a day 6x a week for a weekly total of 1775 calories buuut with thanksgiving I’ve decided to fast two times that week on Tuesday and Saturday and eating 210 calories a day which will be made up of 2 rice cakes-100cals 5 cups veggie broth-75cals and 1 cup popcorn- 35 cals just a slight change to my usual diet! And I’m gonna splurge on thanksgiving with mashed potatoes-1 cup for 197 cals mac n cheese-1 cup for 310 cals stuffing- 1 cup for 109 cals and even a bit of pie for 323 cals ( basically all my thanksgiving meal will be 939 calories)
So basically if I eat 210 calories on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday and the 939 on thanksgiving, but fast on Tuesday and Sunday I will be at 1,779 calories for a whole week and my goal is to be around or under 1,774 so I’m only a few over and I can fix that by some exercise and purging!!!!
[Rant/Rave] Dreading snow for the first time ever
/u/lattephobia
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:24:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhrhp/dreading_snow_for_the_first_time_ever/
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So normally I'm excited about snow. Snow means skiing, snow means it's beautiful and quiet at night, snow means heating blankets. Snow means happiness.
But no, snow is fucking coming *now*. Tonight. And I'm on this outdoor running plan that I SWORE I was going to see through til the end (23rd) even if it kills me.
I've already been that crazy bitch running at 4AM all month, so it looks like I'm about to double down on the batshit meter and go for a relaxing 75 minute run on the crest of the newfallen 2"-4" fam.
Pray for my ankles.
Electric heated blanket suggestions?
/u/hemp_heart [5'10" | CW: 117 | BMI: 16.8 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhr8h/electric_heated_blanket_suggestions/
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Ok I know some of you here must be #alwayscold. It's getting really bad for me and I need a heated blanket ASAP. I've never bought one before. Does anyone here recommend a specific brand? I'm looking on Amazon rn and it's so hard to tell from just pictures which one is the softest/most comfffff. I don't want it to be itchy. I want it to make me wanna become a blanket burrito and never unravel until I'm dead. Thank you.
[Discussion] Is breakfast important?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:19:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhqd9/is_breakfast_important/
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Recently I’ve only been having coffee for breakfast. I have morning tea tho. I’ve seen a lot of articles saying that skipping breakfast is linked to weight gain and all these horrible things. Is there any credibility to this?
Justbinged nearly7000 cal in onesitring
/u/littlesmol [5'5" | CW 156 | GW 90 | BMI 26 😭 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:17:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhq22/justbinged_nearly7000_cal_in_onesitring/
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Incase yall needed tofeel
Better about youselves i just dranka fuckron of vodka and binges so yayme
I fuckinghate mysel
Dumb snacking habit #18283893
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|117lbs|19.2|-19lbs|F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:08:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhnv0/dumb_snacking_habit_18283893/
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When I want to eat late at night, I'll wait until exactly midnight because then I can start my calorie count for the day over again. Sometimes when I'm super impatient I'll just be like "fuck it I'm having breakfast at 11:30 pm yesterday". I'm basically half lying to myself in order to prevent a panic attack lol.
Ideally I'd be doing the whole IT/ don't eat after 7 pm rule but times are tough and I aint got the will power for that rn -_-
I’ve been up since 5am
/u/FavorFusion
Created: Thu Nov 8 22:06:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhnah/ive_been_up_since_5am/
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My UTI is back, it’s hurting like HELL but I can not seem to allow myself to get a painkiller and drink water.
Because I always weigh myself at 7:15am.
[Rant/Rave] “It’s so cute, you always go for berries as snacks”
/u/mennnaai [5’4/ cw 111 / hw 200 👹/ gw 100🧝🏻♀️]
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:58:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhldj/its_so_cute_you_always_go_for_berries_as_snacks/
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Yeah ... “cute”
Fucking adorable the only thing I had to eat today was 50g.
It reminded me to when I was reprimanded for not “eating like a bird” by a grown ass woman when I was a teen.
Fuck pretending this is beautiful I woke up at 4am to work out heavily and cried myself to sleep.
But sure, it’s cute that I only eat berries
How can I mitigate damage of thanksgiving dinner where I know ill binge?
/u/ninthusernamereddit
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:57:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhl6d/how_can_i_mitigate_damage_of_thanksgiving_dinner/
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[Intro] I'm back. Featuring thoughts on post-pregnancy weight loss and intermittent fasting.
/u/dontcareifithurts__ [5'4.5|134|-34]
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:55:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhkqs/im_back_featuring_thoughts_on_postpregnancy/
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Decided to flair this as an intro because it's been two years since my last intro and I haven't been very active on here in the past year, since I was pregnant.
Thankfully I had a healthy pregnancy, a quick, uncomplicated delivery, and now I have a healthy 2 month old baby boy.
During the pregnancy, I ate well but still watched my weight for the first few months. Then after the halfway point, something flipped and I just started eating evvvverything in sight.
So, I gained 48 pounds. :) (plus a few prior to getting pregnant)
Now, two months after giving birth I have lost 34 pounds. The first 3 weeks were rough and I had a pretty bad case of "baby blues" so I hardly ate anything at all, slept through a lot of mealtimes, and was awake most of the night. The weight loss went like this:
Week 1: 20 pounds gone. I assume it was baby & placenta & fluids & water weight.
Week 2: lost 5 pounds
Week 3: lost 5 pounds
Week 4: lost 2 pounds
Week 5: lost 1 pound
Week 6: nothing!!!?
Week 7: lost 1 pound
After shedding the weight so quickly before, this is agonizing!!! So I've downloaded an app that helps with intermittent fasting, and it's so comforting to have something flash in front of my eyes "fast has begun" with a countdown until the next time I can eat again. I love it. Has anyone else used an app like this before?
I have so much more to say, but I'll save that for the weekly posts.
Looking forward to hanging out with you lovely ladies again. <3
[Help] How to put weight/BMI next to username?
/u/ikeafamous
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:46:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhimg/how_to_put_weightbmi_next_to_username/
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Sorry I’m new here lol
[Rant/Rave] DAE get super annoyed/grossed out by eating noises?
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 107 | 18.7 | CGW: 100 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:39:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhh42/dae_get_super_annoyedgrossed_out_by_eating_noises/
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My uni roommate is currently switching between ramen and chips and the mixture of slurping and crunching noises actively makes me want to vomit. This aversion comes on especially hard while I'm high restricting (like right now) but it's not really that I wish I was eating, instead I just feel so disgusted that someone could eat like that. It sucks because I really enjoy my roommate but this is so annoying that I'm starting to dislike her.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm losing my mind
/u/Moose--And--Squirrel
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:27:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vheet/i_feel_like_im_losing_my_mind/
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I'm just ranting, you can ignore me.
I don't feel like myself anymore. I've already ruined November and I was really hoping to do well this month. There's no way I'll hit my goal. There was a time I was so good, for at least a year I restricted and I had like this iron will about it, but anymore I just don't have the motivation. I go all day restricting and do a great job. And if I'd just go to bed at a normal time or something then I'd be fine, but I'm up late every night working on my courses for this semester. I've stretched myself too thin this semester because I'm an idiot. I'm doing 17 credit hours and working on undergrad research which I should be happy about but I really don't care about anything. I just binge all night while I work, and I hate myself for it.
I don't know what to do, honestly I want to die. I can feel myself gaining weight and losing everything I worked for but I can't make myself do anything because feeling fatter makes me just hate myself more, which makes me eat. I just feel like I'm going crazy between this and a huge lack of sleep. I've been sick all week, which usually makes me lose my appetite, but even that has just made me eat more. I don't know what I'm doing.
[Rant/Rave] I wish i could rip all the fat out of me
/u/spaghetti-tacos
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:27:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhebq/i_wish_i_could_rip_all_the_fat_out_of_me/
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i feel so trapped in my own body. every time i look in the mirror, i find something wrong with me. i restrict all the time and fail all the time. i suck at my ed, i really do. and no one ever fucking believes/cared about it because i’m not thin yet. i’ll fucking show them, maybe when i’m in some hospital they’ll finally care. until now i feel so fucking pathetic and fat. FUCK.
[Rant/Rave] i am a horrible person: more tonight at 10!
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw128 (18.4) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vhcil/i_am_a_horrible_person_more_tonight_at_10/
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this is something i’m super ashamed of and will probably never admit to another human being so why not spill to strangers on the internet?
i follow people on instagram who suffer from chronic illnesses that make them unable to eat regularly slash do most of anything because i am terribly envious of how skeletal they are. i know they are suffering with a debilitating and painful illness but edbrain makes me wish i looked like that. i just want to be that small more than anything. and it’s pathetic and awful of me and i think about it and how guilty it makes me feel a lot but i doubt i’ll ever stop envying them.
eds can be so fucking sick and twisted
I hate my disorder. I hate my body dysmorphia. Im not thin enough. I hate myself so much I feel like im losing it
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 93 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vharg/i_hate_my_disorder_i_hate_my_body_dysmorphia_im/
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Im such a screw up. Im a freak. Im not good enough. I don't even know what the hell is wrong with me. I'm so stupid. Im freaking out because im stupid. I can't live like this anymore. Ive had this filthy disorder ever since I was 10. All I do is eat and throw up or not eat at all. And for what? 5 extra pounds? I know im skinny. Im know im pretty. But im not enough. Im not good enough.
I want to cut myself. I havent done that in years but I want it. I always feel worse because of it later. I want to stab myself. Maybe I'll lose weight from the blood loss.
I cheer people up so they like me. Im nice to people so they like me. I do everything so people like me. If they don't, then I have no use anymore. They'd feel bad for me if I died.
What do I even have to be sad about? I cant do anything right. Im just so sad. I feel hungry. Thats just my stupid fucking body again isnt it? I dont have to listen to it.
Im sorry. This is stupid. I would just not post it but I feel I need to, I feel like im losing my mind. I cant manage to tell anyone I know like a normal girl would. I feel sick to my stomach. I just need someone to tell me im fine. Ill be fine in the morning. the way it's always been
[Rant/Rave] Hit my LW. Great, right?
/u/coldbrewkweeen [5'8 | BMI: 18.2 | CW: 120 | GW: 115 | SW: 140]
Created: Thu Nov 8 21:07:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh9kw/hit_my_lw_great_right/
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Except it triggered A MASSIVE BP EPISODE that I REALLY CAN'T AFFORD RIGHT NOW.
I have a 14-page paper to write today. I worked at 8-hour shift on my feet. Every one of my precious breaks at work was spent binging and purging. My brain is in a fog and I just turned in the most mediocre assignment of my life. I'm on the dean's list. I don't turn in mediocre assignments. My professor probably thinks I'm doing drugs.
Two weeks before I graduate and I had a breakdown this morning when I had the overwhelming urge to give up. I was supposed to just sail through these last two classes, but instead they're demanding way more than I can give and it's killing me. I can't get wrapped up in this bullshit again.
Thinking of upping my calories tomorrow so I won't binge. But damn, it felt so good to get under 120lbs for the first time since middle school. I finally feel good about my weight, if not anything else about myself.
This sucks.
​
Cooking
/u/AsianMemes
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh7mp/cooking/
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Does anyone else have a weird obsession with cooking? For me it makes me, whenever I’m restricting, it makes me feel in control and gives me a sense of pride that I can cook without giving into my desires. When I’m B/p mode I get to calculate exactly what’s in my food and it helps me feel in control. I guess I find it ironic that someone with an ED can find comfort in making food? Does anyone else do this?
[Rant/Rave] Anorexia diagnosis and first appointment
/u/Didieverreallymatter
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh6xn/anorexia_diagnosis_and_first_appointment/
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Since I was 14 I’ve cycled through EDNOS, bulimia, and now anorexia b/p. I’m fucking 21. I’ve got my first appointment with an eating disorder specialist on Tuesday and I’m honestly terrified. They’ve said I have to be weighed in front of them because of my current BMI and that’s pretty much the worst thing I could imagine.
I’m at about 16.9, and I want to get better and not deal with this shit anymore, but so much of me also says I’m a fake and there’s nothing really wrong with me because I don’t look sick.
I hate this.
Restricters: When does the extreme hunger feeling go away?
/u/cantdecidewhatiwant [Height 5'4" | CW 132| F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh6s7/restricters_when_does_the_extreme_hunger_feeling/
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Mood: Hungry
/u/cantdecidewhatiwant [Height 5'4" | CW 132| F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:55:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh6mw/mood_hungry/
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I went back to smoking and I'm still so hungry. I'm back to restricting, when does this feeling go away ? It wasn't so hard the first time I lost weight.
Caught my friend Binging - what should I do?
/u/ffc1
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:51:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh5n7/caught_my_friend_binging_what_should_i_do/
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3 days ago, I caught my friend/roommate in the middle of a binge; she was surrounded by oreo containers & watermelon rinds. She has always been quite shy and quiet, but, recently, she has been secluding herself more than usual. She ran off & has not spoken to me since, kind of scared on how to talk to her about it.... Any idea on what I should do?
I JUST WANT TO EATTT
/u/sadbean17 [158cm | 54.3 | 21.8 | -5.7kg| 18f]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:50:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh5fj/i_just_want_to_eattt/
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I'm sitting in the staff room, near tears because I want to be able to eat, it should be easy to just EAT. But I can't, because I've already eaten today and I don't want to lose my progress and gain the whole 7kg back:( fml
[Help] What's the best god damn way to fall asleep when all you feel is hungry???
/u/rocksnowls
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:46:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh4a1/whats_the_best_god_damn_way_to_fall_asleep_when/
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And yes, i try using sleep aid, it doesn't work :((( I've also tried eating super light nighttime snacks, but one of my most paranoid ed rules is that i mustn't swallow a single calorie after 4 pm. Eating past my 4 pm curfew will trigger stress and that stress will keep me awake.
I just wanna fall asleep so damn bad D:<
$6 bottle of wine for 180 cals. i’m in love
/u/3ghostly [5’3 | CW: 110.2 | GW: 105]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh2uy/6_bottle_of_wine_for_180_cals_im_in_love/
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i went to pick up rice for dinner and seen this strawberry moscato on sale at the grocery store. i hate wine but i decided what the fuck, i’ll do it. my friends would drink it otherwise.
it was 180 cals for the WHOLE BOTTLE. 24 oz. an entire bottle. of moscato. brand is starlight!!!! i about busted a nut. bought it, came right home, and got a little tipsy.
it was $6 at my local winco (cheap grocery store). literally, i was losing money by not buying it. i’m gonna buy two other bottles tomorrow (they had peach and watermelon too i think?)
downside to drinking is that i like to eat. a lot. i ate rice, ground meat, and a giant bowl of cheerios with milk, along with three stripe cookies. i want to throw up. but i won’t. i’m in the shower typing this because i just wanted to share the love.
i feel gross. but also good. because alcohol is good. i deserve this.
i regret doing this on a thursday night but yolo i guess
[Other] Who gets triggered just because you hear someone say “...so skinny too!” about someone you don’t even know?
/u/Dreaming_Lightly
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:40:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh2uf/who_gets_triggered_just_because_you_hear_someone/
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What is wrong with me???
[Rant/Rave] rambly rant not worth the read
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw128 (18.4) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:31:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vh0qn/rambly_rant_not_worth_the_read/
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oreos oreos oreos
sweet baby joseph all i want is like a whole fucking thing of oreos
i have the worst chocolate cravings 100% of the time and it’s absolutely killing me
i hate myself so much, i eat because i want to feel the texture and warmth and taste but i feel disgusted with myself for breaking a fast or for having the feeling of food in my stomach,
and half the time my c/s turns into a binge
and i go all fucking day empty just to ruin it at night
i get close, i get so fucking close
i see so many anas who have something like the “nothing past 7pm” rule employed, and if i could stop losing control i could manage this and would be fasting so well right now fucks sake
i don’t deserve food or life i am a disease to everyone who has to look at me i shouldn’t go out into public or open my fat disgusting mouth to speak i should never have lived past the first self destructive thought i had, it would have been a less pathetic end
and i still want some fucking chocolate
[Rant/Rave] so thankful i found this sub 🥰🌟
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:20:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgxwr/so_thankful_i_found_this_sub/
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just tried halo top for the first time and it was hella good, i never would of heard of it without you guys!!!
i got birthday cake (280), what are your favorites??
also wanna try quest bars after seeing them multiple times on this sub but dunno what flavor, any suggestions? :o)
[Discussion] The urge to purge
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgvqd/the_urge_to_purge/
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I haven’t even binged recently- I’ve been restricting/ eating at maintenance. But I keep having this urge to binge just so I can purge it. I don’t know why, maybe the feeling of “I got away with doing something horrible with no immediate consequences.” And the feeling of control that comes with doing something that I shouldn’t but I can so I will. DAE ever feel this way?
[Goal] So I’ve made myself a revised diet!
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:11:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgvgp/so_ive_made_myself_a_revised_diet/
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Breakfast- 1 rice cake 50cals
Lunch- 3 cups of broth 45cals
Snack- 2 cups smartfood popcorn(70cals) and 3 celery sticks(18cals) and a spoonful of pb(90cals)
Dinner- applesauce(90cals) ricecake(50cals) 2 cups of broth(30cals)
It’s a lot of food at low calories for a total of 443 a day and my goal is under 450! Slowly will lower my goal!
Vacation
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:50.5kg| BMI:18.1 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgv6t/vacation/
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Im gg on a vacation for 3 weeks. The hell am i gunna do...... I can’t possibly track everything cuz i won’t have a scale and my other family members would suspect that smth is wrong.:/ Any tips?
When counting calories, do you all log things like black coffee, mustard or gum?
/u/Ok_mini_ [5'0 | 104 | f 24]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:07:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vguez/when_counting_calories_do_you_all_log_things_like/
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Basically anything that claims to be zero calories but still has *some* caloric value. Do you make room for them in your budget and how?
[Discussion] Anyone else act like a completely insane person at the grocery store
/u/cervidaes [5’4 | CW: n o | GW: 125 | UGW: 115]
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:05:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgts5/anyone_else_act_like_a_completely_insane_person/
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I feel so embarrassed whenever I go to my local grocery store because I’m there like every day and I just act like a crazy person when I’m there ... pacing down the aisles staring at one food for like 20 minutes at a time debating with myself on whether or not to get it ... I look visibly upset whenever I’m there and I’ve cried there so many times lmfao. I feel like the workers know me by now. Like today I went because I felt the urge to binge and went thinking I’ll buy something small and low calorie to satisfy my urge ... was literally staring at ramen for like 10 mins comparing the cal count of different flavors then I started crying a little bit bcs i was already at a really high calorie count for me today. So I put it down and went to look at juice and soda ... just to come back 5 mins later and I did that like 5 times. Cried again. Then went to check out finally with one bottle of la Croix and a 45 cal miso soup packet. Lmfao. I do this so often and I feel like people are judging me afterwards but in the moment I’m like zoned in. I might have to start switching up what stores I go to lol
[Goal] I managed to eat kinda normally today
/u/3-months-to-45
Created: Thu Nov 8 20:00:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgsf5/i_managed_to_eat_kinda_normally_today/
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So last night was shitttt, no doubt about that.
Most of today was still shitty. Started out with a protein bar and monster (220), was planning on restricting (I go kinda high, about 1000 to 1200) and then I ended up making plans for lunch with a friend, which I don't regret at all. Got a small mac and cheese and baguette, and half of a half of a caesar salad (720), wasn't even tempted to purge, which is *huge* for me.
Then I had veggie soup for dinner, which if it was only that, I would've kept under. Buuuut I made up with my mom over a huge fight last night though, and she made baked chicken wings and sweet potato, which I'm a sucker for. Had a portion of each (403 for everything).
Went to Starbucks, got a tea, with regular milk (omg what) (30). Ended up getting a maple muffin too, because I *wanted* one, but only ate half (220), saved the other for my mom. And then my friend came in with a pizza from a local place, and offered me some. I took a slice, ate it slowly, without going into binge mode or anything, and it was so fucking delicious, I made the conscious decision to eat another. (300ish for both, it was thin and magherita style)
Idek what the point of this is tbh. I just... felt good? I promised myself to log everything into MFP as honestly as I could, and I kept expecting the worst.... but it came to just over 1800? Which is? Maintenance???
Like... it's been such a long time since I managed to eat a whole day normally, I'm feeling proud. And there's something vaguely comforting about the fact that as long as I eat mindfully and within reason, I'm not wildly surprising my TDEE or anything. There's no urge to purge, I might regret it later, but like... I'm chill with me rn and that's p cool ngl. Isn't exactly something I can share with my irl friends, so I guess I will here instead.
[Rant/Rave] When skinnier people call you skinny...
/u/bbdoc826
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:53:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgqng/when_skinnier_people_call_you_skinny/
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There are a couple very thin people at my work who have made comments several times about how I will blow away if I lose more weight although I have plenty left to lose ...and today one much skinnier person than me (but naturally skinny) said this to me and another person said “you were skinny last time I saw you, but now you are 12 year old skinny.” Now I would love to be “12 year old skinny” but I a imperfectly average weight and both of these people are so much tinier than me it just makes me feel huge when they say these things - like I am “sooo skinny” for a person like me. Anyone else have experiences like this? At least it is motivating to stop eating
[Goal] The queen
/u/patbumbum
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:51:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgq7x/the_queen/
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https://i.redd.it/bcocpcrzy7x11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Dear body: quit being a bitch...
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:51:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgq1x/dear_body_quit_being_a_bitch/
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Not enough for you that I’m cramping, bloated, and bleeding, but you also have to physically reject the healthy veggies I just ate with more cramping, bloating, and diarrhea?
Fuck you body...
[Rant/Rave] i want to starve to death
/u/likrot
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:43:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgnyc/i_want_to_starve_to_death/
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im sure this is common, but i want to starve to death. if i look like this, i dont deserve any food. the only reason i dont kill myself already is because if i die now my body will look like this at the open casket funeral and i dont want that. im driving people away with my issues. im driving myself insane. and so im going to starve to death or else.
[Other] starting a fast
/u/likrot
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgn0q/starting_a_fast/
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im fasting for a couple days. ive been binging a lot. its making me very depressed. so im binging. i just needed to write it somewhere to commit. bam
[Other] I’m glad I’m getting rid of my hair
/u/crydontsmile
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:14:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgfuc/im_glad_im_getting_rid_of_my_hair/
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I’m cutting my hair tonight, so then it can be donated to make wigs for kids with cancer. I’m glad. For one, I’ll finally get the short hair I’ve wanted for so long (since I’m ftm). Also, it’s getting to the point where more of it is beginning to fall out - at least I’ll do something good with all of this hair before it all dies and falls out.
Suspicious of calorie counts when I’m more full than usual
/u/shamefulanon
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:10:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgelc/suspicious_of_calorie_counts_when_im_more_full/
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I went out to eat with my SO today.. the sandwich said it was 670 calories & I put jalapeños on it. I also drank a diet soda (I never drink anything but water or alcohol). So maybe the soda made me more full?
I logged my sandwich as 700 calories but I was literally full all day which I never am and am very suspicious of the calories.
Anyone else NOT want to get better?
/u/6sixofspades66
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:09:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgeeh/anyone_else_not_want_to_get_better/
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I am sure this is a 'yes' (and some a 'no') but who else loves going down this rabbit hole?
I know my ED behavior isn't the healthiest but God damn it feels great; to be in this cycle of restricting, to be thinner, and I don't want to recover anytime soon.
does anybody else keep belts that are too big for the satisfaction of making new notches?
/u/throoaweigh
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:05:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgdd3/does_anybody_else_keep_belts_that_are_too_big_for/
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like...i could get a smaller belt. mine is worn as fuck and there are smaller sizes. but...going down on notches that are already there on a smaller belt doesn't make me feel as small as poking holes in a bigger one. i can't even articulate why. it just be like that. is this a common thing??
~~anyway in totally unrelated news i poked my thumb with nail scissors because i stabbed them through leather like an idiot~~
I’m going to eat a full meal tonight.
/u/lunarmoth_ [5’5”| 145 | 24 | -20 | 23F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 19:01:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgc3a/im_going_to_eat_a_full_meal_tonight/
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I can achieve my weight loss goals without starving myself. I have been consistently netting 250-500 calories a day lately and it’s been a thrill but I owe it to myself to be healthier. I’m raising my intake to 800-1000 calories but hitting the gym more frequently.
I’ve been increasingly dizzy, unable to sleep or I sleep too much, brain-fogged, hit with intense sadness, unable to get motivated to move on my days off...ugh. But I have no desires to binge and I feel like I could restrict forever at this amount. The hunger doesn’t bother me, but feeling like a brain dead zombie does.
It’s so weird. I only recently started restricting to this amount consistently. I use to be a binge eater. It’s like...somehow a switch flipped in my brain, and the opposite became my coping mechanism instead. I was glad at first...I use to be tiny until I became a binge-eater with no purging abilities. But now I see this is a dangerous “game” and not any way to live a life. I’m hoping I can increase my calories slowly and just eat a healthy amount of calories to lose weight, like max 1000-1200.
[Other] Outed myself to hopefully get better, but still have no intention of stopping
/u/_Pulltab_ [67"| 155| 24.3| -50 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:57:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vgb4a/outed_myself_to_hopefully_get_better_but_still/
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So I told my best friend, who lives in another state and isn’t aware of how much weight I’ve lost, that I’ve been dealing with some pretty fucked up disordered eating. I didn’t go into a ton of detail but she knows now that I restrict heavily and have a lot of weird issues/obsessions with food.
Side note: she’s a personal trainer and certified nutrition specialist. She of course was beautifully understanding and yet also very concerned and we talked through how I can start turning my thought patterns around and I agreed to at least get 1000 calories on the days I work out. And now she’s sending me all these articles trying to encourage me.
And the truth is, even though I wanted to get better when I told her, I now have no intention of stopping.
[Rant/Rave] New low! 🤪
/u/brattybiologist [5'8" | 126 | 19.2 | GW: 123 | 25F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:52:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg9wy/new_low/
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Went to a group fitness class at the gym and had to pause in the middle to go hyperventilate and cry in the bathroom because I am so fat, u g l y and WEAK compared to every other person there. and then coming back in after like nothing happened. 🙃 whyyy am I like this
[Rant/Rave] How the hell am I breaking out, I don’t even eat what kinda trade deal
/u/peyton2724 [5'9'' | CW: 145 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:47:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg8i4/how_the_hell_am_i_breaking_out_i_dont_even_eat/
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Okay for real - my face is a freaking explosion of oil and pimples and those pesky nose black heads and I’ve been eating under 500 calories daily like what the hell.
So you’re telling me that my body doesn’t have enough energy to keep my hair in my head but it DOES have enough energy to make a thousand pimples show up on my face? Something doesn’t add up here.
Ed and friendship?
/u/Poetic-Destruction
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:43:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg7hy/ed_and_friendship/
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I was wondering if anyone has friends that also have an eating disorder or if it's just you? If you do, what do you think? Is it a date with disaster or nice?
For me personally, it's just me doing my own thing. Mostly in secret mind you lol
But I have no one to talk to about it that understands in any way. And it's rather lonely in that way.
What do you guys think?
[Rant/Rave] My roommate walked in on me...
/u/subirban
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:40:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg6pi/my_roommate_walked_in_on_me/
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Guys, I feel so ashamed and weird and guilty. My roommate came home much earlier than she mentioned earlier in the day and I was halfway a papa john's binge (fuk u papa j for having my childhood favorite pizzas), and omg I PANICKED. I had never been walked in on before and even though I was eating in my room and she probably had no idea what I was doing, I felt so exposed.
When I heard the door unlock, I shot up and fabreezed the shit out of my room to get rid of pizza smell and quickly went out and told her I was gonna take a quick nap before dinner. Then I proceeded to eat a whole medium pizza, 6 buffalo wings, and 2 brownies before rushing to the bathroom and turning the shower on and purging the evidence. Afterwards I started sobbing because I felt so terrible and ughhhh it's not her fault at all but I hated lying to her (she's one of my best friends) and it was not a good time.
Now, I have to make us dinner and pretend that she wasn't in the apartment while I stuffed my face and threw up in our toilet. God, I hate myself.
Anyway, this has kinda helped me to be put off of b/p so hopefully I can kick this terrible habit.
I just found an unopened jar of creamy fudge frosting in the cupboard and I need some prayers
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:35:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg5kc/i_just_found_an_unopened_jar_of_creamy_fudge/
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Lord help me.
Keep em guessing
/u/h8bb
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:27:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg3a5/keep_em_guessing/
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https://i.redd.it/ay3fw1yu95x11.jpg
The Mirror (UK) got me SMH with this stuff
/u/42rental
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:27:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg386/the_mirror_uk_got_me_smh_with_this_stuff/
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https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/gym-obsessed-men-significantly-higher-13555235
[Rant/Rave] Being a fat a** has made me lose my one support system
/u/turnipforwhut [5'10" | GW 150 | 28.9 | -4 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:21:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg1s0/being_a_fat_a_has_made_me_lose_my_one_support/
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**TL;DR - Fuck being "wife-material" and not "girlfriend-material"**
Long time lurker, first time poster. I've seen how supportive this community is and I figured I'd post here because, as the title says, I feel like I've got no one to support me.
I'm terrified of someone IRL finding out who I am, so I can't divulge as much information as I want to, but I needed to talk to *someone*. I'm in graduate school, in my late 20s, and a virgin. My only relationship was a boyfriend in high school that I did nothing intimate with. A few years ago I went to 2nd base with an older (>10 years) coworker/supervisor right as I was quitting my job to go to graduate school. BTW, I never would say there was exploitation or that "quid pro quo" stuff. It was consensual and we had a strong friendship throughout my time working there. My one regret is that it sort of fucked up our friendship and I feel awkward as hell whenever we meet up x1-2/year for lunch. I've tried to reach out recently for advice about career/life stuff and he basically brushed me off and put no effort into continuing a conversation.
Fast forward to the last 1-2 years after I moved >300 miles away from where I grew up; I made a best friend (male) that we've spent basically all of our time with each other. We're currently roommates. I'll admit it's pretty codependent. Eventually after about 6 months of meeting each other it became physical and I later started going to 3rd base. He's been the only male that has ever showed me attention and affection that made me feel genuinely attractive. Since I'm wanting to remain a virgin until marriage (or at the very least, a very serious committed long-term relationship) and recently that has started to become a bit of an issue, and basically I can't give him what he ultimately wants. Our relationship has been complicated by multiple factors, but the reason we've never started dating (once he became single... yes, I was the "other woman" for a while) is that he says he fears that he will fuck it up and lose me forever as a friend and partner. Soooo we've been stuck in this stupid limbo for a long time. No one knows that our friendship has a romantic component, but everyone asks "why aren't you two dating?"
He's had attention from other women (and I'm over here with the confidence of a melted turd and absolutely no prospects), but recently a mutual friend of ours began talking with him and now they've planned to consider dating after the new year, and it really hurts me. In fact, he's going to spend the night at her house tonight because he has to be in her city 30 minutes away in the morning and it's more "convenient" since he was almost late last time he had to go there. He says nothing's going to happen physically... but I can't help but have a sliver of doubt.
I don't know how to be happy for him. I makes me physically ill to hear him get excited/have the butterflies you get with a new relationship even though I want to be happy and know he's going to be happy. He's had a rough time with school as much as I have. I feel super selfish and I can't figure out how to get my mind to accept he's going to be spending time away from me.
I have a few friends/acquaintances in our program, but none of who I can discuss personal topics with. My 2 best friends from prior to grad school are busy with their own lives and we don't keep in contact very frequently.
One time when a group of my classmates went out for a night of drinking, our Uber driver went on a rant about his wife or something, and I forgot what I said to one of his questions, but he responded with "so you're wife-material, but not girlfriend-material." Dear God that has stuck with me so fucking strong since. It's absolutely true. My body is shit, I'm not putting out, but I'm loyal to a fault, plan on being a virgin until my honeymoon, always put people's needs in front of my own and have good traits for being a mother in the future. I can't help but think of \*literally\* all the women in my family across 3 generations and that they've been cheated on by their husbands (and all but one stayed with them). I've almost resigned myself to thinking that I the exact same thing will happen to me, that I should just be happy with whatever guy settles for me, and accept that I'll get old and boring at some point and he'll have to look for someone new and exciting. I hate that I think this way, but given my LIFE-FUCKING-LONG track record of zero adult relationships and 2 guys that I've done intimate things with that later either ignored me or keep making excuses not to stick with me, I'm not seeing much hope.
During college I used to binge/purge (never diagnosed with bulimia) and I got down to around 160 (normal BMI, but 35lbs lighter than my current fat ass) but then the purging stopped after I told one of my best friends at the time. I don't have the desire right now to start puking again, but fuck do I want to be thin. I want to be competitive for interview season next fall and, while I've got good scores, being a gott-damn whale won't help get me any further. I want to feel attractive. I want to have a boyfriend that is "legitimate," that I can tell people I have a relationship and I don't have to feel all this guilt. Relationships shouldn't have to be secret from those you love.
One good thing is that I'm also in $15,000 worth of fucking credit card debt (NOT including fucking student loans), getting close to maxing out 2/3 cards, so binging will be getting a lot harder. Woohoo. I've also started running, so hopefully I drop enough weight so he starts getting nervous that I won't be able to be his "safety" or "back-up" girlfriend/partner in the future.
If you've made it to the end, thank you for listening. Even if you don't respond, I feel relief that this is out to the internet and can feel your supportive vibes from here. :)
King Bulimia
/u/Mothballs_vc
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:19:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg195/king_bulimia/
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https://v.redd.it/u20zd034m5x11
[Rant/Rave] I ended my fast!!
/u/greycat91
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg0uk/i_ended_my_fast/
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I have an event tomorrow so naturally I’ve been freaking out for 2 months and restricting way too low. I started fasting earlier this week and meant to only fast for 24 hours but I had so much anxiety that I just kept going. I’ve been exercising through this period which is so bad and I’ve been worried I’ll pass out on a trail and hit my head or something. I have dark circles and my face looks very gaunt (even to me)
Tonight I made myself drink a protein drink and I almost didn’t do it. I had to really force it but I did it and I still feel good. It’s a minor accomplishment but I’m proud of myself. Tomorrow this whole thing will be over with and I’m going to eat 2 pints of halo top!❤️
[Rant/Rave] Fuck everything
/u/elsacouchnaps
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:16:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vg0d0/fuck_everything/
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*Applogies in advance for the language*
I’ve been binging and purging all week. I feel fucking terrible. I just finished my last binge. I’m fucking miserable. I want to die sometimes. (I’m not suicidal, don’t worry - I could never do that to my family) But still sometimes I pray a car would plow through a red light when I’m driving and end it all for me. I can’t keep living like this. I don’t know how it can even be called a life anymore. I’m 28. I can’t even talk to anyone in real life about it because they all just think this is high school crap I should’ve grown out of by now. I was better for a few years. But it’s like relapse is always around the corner. God it feels like my stomach is going to rip open. My throat is raw. I don’t even think I can purge again tonight. I fucking hate this life.
I’m here at my lowest point (not my lowest fucking weight though unfortunately) in a long time. I’m sobbing. My hair has vomit in it. It looks like I broke a blood vessel in my eye. Not to mention all the blood vessels ruptured on my face. I hate myself. This isn’t beautiful. Far from it.
But I love you guys so much. This is the only place I can come and not feel insane for letting food have complete control over me. Other people don’t get it. It’s just food to them. It’s not demons hiding in your cabinet, fridge, in the cafeteria at work, in the vending machine in the break room, in every convenience store on every fucking block, at every family party, every social gathering, featured in almost every god damn commercial on TV. I’m surrounded by this hell taunting me at all times. It’s fucking everywhere and it feels like it’s killing me. I just want to pass out and not wake up. I want tomorrow to be better, but every day this week I’ve been worse. I do not know what to do. I feel so pathetic and helpless. Not to mention all the fucking money I’ve blown this week on binge food. Money I don’t have. I feel like I’m drowning. I just want to be better.
I’m so sorry I’m always such a downer when I post here. You guys don’t deserve to have to hear me bitch & moan, but I know you’re the only ones who understand. I hope you all get better. I hope all of us do. I love you guys.
Every time I run my hand through my hair... 😭 (NSFL...) Hair loss is real, y'all.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:14:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfzrb/every_time_i_run_my_hand_through_my_hair_nsfl/
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https://i.redd.it/59iq704mh7x11.jpg
my first relapse in 7 years
/u/panchitalolita
Created: Thu Nov 8 18:06:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfxne/my_first_relapse_in_7_years/
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I turn 22 in a week.
I want to be a skinny bitch for my birthday. The same skinny bitch I was when I was fifteen and ate a Greek yogurt and 7 almonds a day.
The same skinny bitch I was when I would fall asleep tracing my collarbones, ribs, and hipbones.
The same skinny bitch I was when I would watch the numbers drop day by day.
The same skinny bitch I was when I'd drink glass after glass of warm water to stay full. Not that being hungry ever bothered me.
I stopped starving myself when I saw the bald patches. The only thing I loved more than being skinny were my curls.
But now I turn 22 in a week and I want to be a skinny bitch.
The hair never grew back. What's a few more strands lost? I want to be a skinny bitch.
Thanks for reading my rant. I've been hungry for a few days now, and coupled with the stress of University, I've definitely shrunk. I'm afraid I'll binge. Oh, and I'm a Nutrition student.
[Discussion] Do you ever plan a binge?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:59:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfvnv/do_you_ever_plan_a_binge/
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If we pretend we’re normal and healthy, we call it a cheat day 😜 I’m curious if any one here plans and prepares for binges.
I wish i could. There is something horrifyingly satisfying about feeling painfully full. I want to buy all the fast food meals that i’ve completely cut out from my life and all the terrible carbs and snack foods and just pure crap... I want to mukbang the shit out if it... but i can’t.
Whether I plan for a reward, or a cheat meal, or a whole damn thanksgiving feast all for myself, I can’t bring myself to feel entitled to or enjoy the thing i planned for. I always end up thinking i’ll have wasted a perfectly good fast. Even if i magically lost weight after a cheat i would think i could have lost even more if only I didn’t give in and “reward” myself... (don’t get me wrong, i still suck and binge, i just wish i could at least enjoy it haha)
How about you guys?
Potentially TMI but i figure we all are used to talking poo...
/u/Vompirate
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:59:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfvj6/potentially_tmi_but_i_figure_we_all_are_used_to/
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Just completed third successful day of OMAD at 600 Cal or less and I have been pooping nearly clear watery liquid all day? Anyone have an experience with this?
[Help] opinion on seltzer???
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 21f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🐻]
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vftp4/opinion_on_seltzer/
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i recently went cold turkey on diet coke because it made my skin go all kinds of crazy..... and so now i switched to flavored seltzer as my go to ~treat~ and i know this is gonna sound dumb but like i know 0% on seltzer in like the ed context so please educate me on this subject!!! what are the reviews???
Does anyone have advice for getting off EC stack?
/u/Kali_flower
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:43:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfr4q/does_anyone_have_advice_for_getting_off_ec_stack/
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Long-time lurker, first-time poster... Sorry if this post breaks any rules, let me know and I can edit it.
Anyways, I am so over this ED. I can't take it anymore! I've spent the past week trying to recover, and I'm realizing I am in way deeper than I thought. I absolutely hate taking Bronkaid every single day, but I simply can not stop! The sad thing is it doesn't even keep me from eating any more. It just makes me feel like my heart is going to explode. When I take it I feel like shit, but when I don't take it I feel even shittier. I'm dizzy and hungry and binge/purge and then hate myself. I am terrified by how I'm treating my body. I just want to be healthy and happy again :'(
[Goal] Just binged after hitting my second goal weight and I feel incredibly shitty
/u/Foureyedlemon [5"4 | SW: 130 | CW: 116.4 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfpn5/just_binged_after_hitting_my_second_goal_weight/
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Weighed myself today and “gained” 2 pounds after hitting 115 yesterday, but it was most likely just leftover waste in my body. I ate a lot more than I should have today and I feel full and thoroughly disgusting.
I’m just gonna restrict hard for the next week and weigh at the end of that so I don’t have to see the damage I’ve done
H&M is now vanity sizing?
/u/Samazing12
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:36:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfp5s/hm_is_now_vanity_sizing/
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I ordered some clothes online from them and there was a note inside saying they were changing their sizing. They're basically just labeling down a size. So their old size 2 is a 0, their old size 4 is a 2, etc. I've always found their clothes pretty true to size... But now I'm a size 2 instead of a 4 in their clothes despite being smack in the middle of the BMI scale. It doesn't even feel like a win because it's not real. It's crazy that at 5'4 and 130 lbs that I'm the second smallest size 🙄
[Help] anybody else unable to sleep while restricting?
/u/Annewellmorrel [18F|SW100kg|CW78.7kg|UGW50kg|5’6]
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:35:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfoyz/anybody_else_unable_to_sleep_while_restricting/
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Ughhh why am I like this? It’s 00:34 and I don’t feel even remotely sleepy. I’ll catch the z’s eventually but honestly the lord is testing me
[Discussion] Exercise music
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 4" | CW: 101 | GW: 97 | BMI: 17.3 | M]
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:20:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfkn4/exercise_music/
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What kind of music do you guys listen to while exercising? For me, it's either sad music or upbeat old music, which I know is a weird mix.
[Help] please help me....
/u/floralwish
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:09:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfhho/please_help_me/
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i lost weight about two years ago but for the past year and a half, i have been battling binge eating disorder. it has been consuming my life and driving me actually insane. naturally, my weight went up and i am in the process of losing it and hopefully getting even skinnier. i am in college now, and at first, i actually lost some weight. then, the access to unhealthy food literally anytime has led to me binging more than ever the past month. i need to stop because it has been ruining my life and i think i have gained again :( i feel so guilty and disgusting and fat and i NEED to stop binging. i tell myself that ill start going binge-free from tomorrow so i justify today as being the "last binge" but then of course tomorrow comes around and i binge and start the whole cycle over again. i feel like lovely people here understand me better than anyone else and i need help... i really startled myself by having my first suicidal thoughts last week... sometimes i wish i just had someone to talk to about all this....
My ED has always been about being attractive but now things are different
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Thu Nov 8 17:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfgrf/my_ed_has_always_been_about_being_attractive_but/
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So there was this guy that just wouldn’t leave me alone last year after I rejected him (are most high school guys like that? Do I just attract guys like that? Can they sense low self esteem? Who knows). Anyways I heard him rating girls in class today with his equally gross friend. They were talking about this (actually super gorgeous) girl I know and saying “Eww I’m not even gonna rank her she’s so skinny her legs are like sticks. And that hair, ew”.
And I’m triggered as fuck now. All I want now is to be so skinny that he forgets he ever thought I was hot.
•͈ᴗ•͈ proud of myself for only having 1358cals while my bf was over for the last few days
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:57:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfe24/ᴗ_proud_of_myself_for_only_having_1358cals_while/
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my bf is tall and has a very fast metabolism and will easily order 1300+ cal drive thru orders for himself for a meal. while i’ve had 1358 the last three days, he probably had 2000-3000 for each day lol
when he’s over (he lives 3hrs away so only see him when he has back to back days off and can stay the night or two) i usually end up eating more than i’d like and then just fast for the few days after.
so i’m pretty proud of myself for being able to keep it low while eating out for every meal and not raising any flags :’’’’) 💓
[Other] Ok so this is life with an ED
/u/ImmediateAlien [5'3 | 104.7 lbs | GW 99 lbs | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:55:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfde4/ok_so_this_is_life_with_an_ed/
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46 hrs into a water and coffee fast and I’m licking salt off of a teaspoon.
Ok so this is life with an ES
/u/ImmediateAlien [5'3 | 104.7 lbs | GW 99 lbs | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:52:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfcoc/ok_so_this_is_life_with_an_es/
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46 hrs into a water and coffee fast and I’m licking salt off of a teaspoon.
[Help] binged?
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:51:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfcah/binged/
---
idk if this counts as a binge but i was in a 27 hour fast and broke it by having some plain yogurt and granola (because my mom wanted to have dinner with me but i said i wasnt really hungry) but then i felt like eating cookies and i ate 3 and now my stomach hurts and i want to purge but my throat is still kinda sore and idk what to do im kinda losing it here over these stupid cookies i want to starve until next week im sorry
[Rant/Rave] My mom is angry...
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:45:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vfamc/my_mom_is_angry/
---
So I'm in my room and my mom must have been checking my lunch account to see if it needs to be payed off and she yells "YOU HAVENT EATEN LUNCH AT ALL THIS WEEK? THIS SHIT NEEDS TO STOP" and I angrly said "you just notcied this?!" She doesnt know how to handle a situation properly, she didnt have to yell out so everyone in my fucking house can hear
[Rant/Rave] GUESS WHO GOT DUMPED?!?!?
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:41:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf9n3/guess_who_got_dumped/
---
Boyfriend broke up with me cause he's mentally ill as well and even though we ended it off well and will be friends, It still hurts so much.
I don't feel like I can function anymore or at least not for a while.
When coffee is my meal replacement but my anxiety rapidly spikes as a result
/u/anyeducation [5'9"|179lbs|BMI 26.4|-25 lbs|20 F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:41:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf9is/when_coffee_is_my_meal_replacement_but_my_anxiety/
---
Nothing but pure suffering today pals
[Rant/Rave] S/O to baristas who get it
/u/yellowposy2
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:37:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf8f9/so_to_baristas_who_get_it/
---
Today I went to order a latte to treat myself for a workout/get some calories in. I ordered and paid for it, then realized I forgot to change the milk. I saw the barista about to measure the whole milk (!!!) and stopped her and asked if they had skim. She said they only have whole milk but was super nice about it, offered the alternative milks (even tho I already paid), but I felt so embarrassed. Ugh. Then the other barista offered the other milks and said “the almond milk is our lowest calorie option!” And it just felt like she totally got me. And I said no it’s fine I’ll take the whole (it’s a fucking 8oz latte!!! I am fine!!!) and she was like, it’s really fine!! And it was just so friendly and nice and I wanted to thank her for being so fucking nice and friendly. Idk I’m emotional af rn but I am so thankful for friendly baristas man.
[Other] Weighing food is super soothing?
/u/kinlinlin [H 6'0 |CW 146 | GW 130 | 25F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:34:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf7mw/weighing_food_is_super_soothing/
---
I just got my first kitchen scale. Super low-key reason, as it is primarily for baking (I make a mean sourdough).
But I've been using it to weigh my food for the last couple of days and it's really helped with my binge urges. It's holding me accountable for what I put in my body in a way that mfp just can't.
It gives me permission to eat without fear. No fear means no loss of control binges. No binging means no purging. It's a fucking revelation.
Plus it's kind of fun to see what half an ounce of cheese looks like.
[Other] FUCK THE POLICE LOL
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:28:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf636/fuck_the_police_lol/
---
https://i.redd.it/1befv48qy6x11.png
[Help] Any “adults” with residential treatment reviews/input/recommendations? I’m 26 and feel way older than all the girls in my PHP.
/u/freckafunk
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:18:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf33h/any_adults_with_residential_treatment/
---
It’s hard to read online reviews because I know a lot of places write trash reviews about their competitors, and you can’t always rely on the input of an actual alumni if she/he wasn’t ready to recover.
I’m 26 and have been in a pretty good PHP program since October 16th.
I’m getting a lot of questions about whether I’m getting enough support and how well I can recover if I get derailed by my weekends/nights.
My thing is that I can’t tell if I need a higher level of care (I am not using behaviors at all except minor baby binges) or if I just have a lot of overdue work to do in recovery. A lot of my ED issues are tied into my father’s death in 206 which I really can’t get through. Like maybe I just need to be really focused and patient? Or build a recovery team and utilize them in addition to 7 hours a day in PHP?
I am entertaining the idea of places like Rainrock in OR, Monte Nido Vista in CA, or Timberline Knolls. I’m pretty sure that’s where Demi Lovato and Kesha both went.
Does anyone have any ideas/recommendations? I want to have some access to my phone so I can keep in touch with my boyfriend, and I don’t want to be the only one who’s past college age with mostly 17-18-19 year olds.
Is there a place that gives me a place to live but maybe some freedom in daytime? Nighttime and weekends on my own are when I struggle the most.
[Help] I feel like shit anytime I eat
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf19d/i_feel_like_shit_anytime_i_eat/
---
Things are getting out of hand.
Anytime I eat, I am consumed by guilt. I’m still eating so little but it feels like so much and I am just SO guilty.
Help with feelings of guilt??
[Other] TMI 💩
/u/throwawayyolonot [5'4"| 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:08:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vf02u/tmi/
---
I had legit green af bowel movements for days and my ED brain got excited because I thought my food wasn’t being digested and so that means I can’t digest food anymore yay my stomach finally broke or some bs
I’m so on the verge to being done with this
Did I mention how low I’m on vitamins and how my liver tests are actually a blip below normal for the first time I can remember ever
Don’t do EDs kids it’s really not glamorous or fun it’s actually really fucking isolating.
Some (illegible, because me = drunk) Bojack Horseman quotes that were hitting a bit too close to home that I feel like you guys might relate to like I do.
/u/Omnicole
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:06:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vezho/some_illegible_because_me_drunk_bojack_horseman/
---
https://i.imgur.com/f7HInJH.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Losing ready to see family at Christmas, don't want to be the chubby cousin anymore
/u/wristsPlz [F 5'10" | CW:131.62 | GW:125 | BMI:18.9]
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:05:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vez7a/losing_ready_to_see_family_at_christmas_dont_want/
---
Right now my biggest motivation is when I go to see family at Christmas. I have a lot of cousins, mostly older than me, but the girls closest to my age are all thin and pretty. Whereas I always felt like the big ugly duckling of the family. Now there's not much I can do about the ugly, but at this pace I'll be underweight by Christmas, hopefully around an 18 bmi, and I don't think many people could call that big.
But the thing is, what I really want now is the worried comments. "You've got so thin" "Are you eating enough?" "You're wasting away!". Even though originally I wanted to be thin to look nice, I feel like now I just want to look fragile and snappable, and so small that nobody else can compete. I don't even know what's up with me at this point.
Also, I'm praying we see my family before Christmas day and not after, as I'm not calorie counting on Christmas and don't want to end up with all my progress undone and a giant food baby when we end up seeing them. That would be so fucking disappointing.
Honwstly can we all just pray to reach our goals. I love this sub and I want you all to smash it too. x
*heart rate goes into overdrive*
/u/refinnejjjj
Created: Thu Nov 8 16:00:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vexq7/heart_rate_goes_into_overdrive/
---
https://i.redd.it/avk08f7st6x11.jpg
Single again.
/u/maybeitmeansnothing
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:52:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vev6s/single_again/
---
Just got broken up with. A little background here, I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years but I got 2 wonderful kids out of it. Got back on the dating scene this year, had a casual fling, slept around, and then found an amazing guy 3 1/2 months ago. I told him about a month in I was in recovery but I had already relapsed twice this year. Well stress got the best of me and I’ve been restricting for about a month. I told him last week. He was supportive but said my body needs food and I just need to eat healthy and work out. But he said today its too much for him, the commitment, indirectly the kids, and that he wanted to break up. I had already planned out my few hundred calories I was going to allow myself today but now I feel too numb to eat. I feel like damaged goods. I’ve had an ED off and on since I was 13 and I’m 27 now. I know restricting even more isn’t going to make me feel better. Maybe I want it to make me feel worse today.
[Other] Got called a fat fuck in TOMT
/u/xxmybrokendreamsxx
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:39:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9veriy/got_called_a_fat_fuck_in_tomt/
---
Lol I already know don't remind me
[Rant/Rave] Tmi but..
/u/bexsun2 [5’3 | 109 | BMI 19.3 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:38:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ver1i/tmi_but/
---
Oh my sweet lord, I just want to poop :(
[Other] How tf have i gotten away with having an ed
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:25:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ven62/how_tf_have_i_gotten_away_with_having_an_ed/
---
my dad is not a dumb guy, he's incredibly observant and a great dad and i love him. But good LORD how is he oblivious to how fucked up my eating habits are
I asked him to buy me like four different flavors of halo top and he asked why i like ht so much and i just went "Oh haha it tastes better than regular ice cream" WHICH ISNT TRUE LMAO I WOULD DIE TO GET SOME REGULAR ICE CREAM
And when i told him to buy stevia instead of sugar i used the excuse of "Sugar is bad for you and increases the risk of ***insert obscure health problem***" and that aint true at all but he just believed me and doesnt buy sugar anymore and????
Plus when i suddenly bugged him about buying me a scale and a fitbit and a yoga mat and all that he was like "Lol im proud of u for deciding to be more active and healthy" but h a h little does he know health is the exact opposite of my worries
I love my dad and love that he tries to be a good caring parent but i just dont know how he hasnt caught on yet. like. wh
NOT GETTING A FEEDING TUBE!!
/u/taiteisnotcool [5'8 | 120.5 | 18.3 | -28 | Female]
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:23:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vemir/not_getting_a_feeding_tube/
---
My doctor said my weight is down and my heart rate isn’t too bad but that because I’m doing so well with school (I have severe school anxiety and have been in and out since freshman year) that she will give me a pass and let me slowly increase from 1200!!
Tootsie rolls have now become a safe food for me
/u/nowayjoseTA
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:22:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vem5b/tootsie_rolls_have_now_become_a_safe_food_for_me/
---
For only 60 calories, you get to eat something for like thirty minutes and its sweet so my sweet tooth is calm. Also, makes me stop feeling hungry
Why do I keep binging when I hate myself so much afterwards‽
/u/0ClandestineCat0 [5'0 | CW:110 | GW:105 | BMI: 21.6 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:07:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vehie/why_do_i_keep_binging_when_i_hate_myself_so_much/
---
I was supposed to have 500 calories max today... I’ve probably had about 2000 and it’s only 5. I had a special event I worked really hard to get into and of course there was super calorific catered food- pasta, parmesan chicken, Caesar salas, and my weakness chocolate cake. I only had 3 bites of the chicken and didn’t get much salad or pasta BUT I had 2 slices of the chocolate cake and 3 whole pieces of rolls (bread). I’m so over what I was supposed to eat and I just wanna cry and die.
I am a fucking moron.
/u/min_imalist [♪ h: 5'0 | cw: 65lbs | bmi: 12.5 | F ♪]
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:03:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9veg90/i_am_a_fucking_moron/
---
So I hoard food that I love, but I either get too scared to eat it, or I try to postpone eating it for a "special ocassion". WELL, I saved one particular food for such a long time that it spoiled. And I didn't notice until I opened it. Y'all I was looking forward to eating it for *days*. It was expensive as heck as well.
But the worst thing of all?
The fucking *smell* of rotten food.
I'm going to literally have a breakdown over this shit. ~~What the actual fuck.~~
thought this fit better here
/u/Rapudash
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:00:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vefdd/thought_this_fit_better_here/
---
https://i.redd.it/ay3fw1yu95x11.jpg
[Other] Russian body roulette
/u/lakeandsnow
Created: Thu Nov 8 15:00:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vefch/russian_body_roulette/
---
https://i.redd.it/ay3fw1yu95x11.jpg
5’3 and 115!?
/u/rayckul [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Nov 8 14:47:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vebbl/53_and_115/
---
(Sorry this is lowkey just me rambling because I don’t know what to do) Last week i was 117 but i just weighed myself after coming home from the gym and I was 115? But I feel like I look bigger this week than last week??????? Does this happen to anyone else too??? What should i do?:(
[Rant/Rave] im a privileged fuck
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Thu Nov 8 14:40:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ve8z2/im_a_privileged_fuck/
---
i was getting back from work and a lady got into the bus to sell candy, i started crying because she works so hard to feed herself and maybe feed her family and then here i am not eating because im an idiot who wants to look pretty (based on what society says is pretty) and turning my self-worth into numbers
im so privileged to have a family that can and wants to feed me everyday but i throw it away or reject it or purge it because im a little piece of shit
When you miss dinner lol
/u/mrnicerice69
Created: Thu Nov 8 14:31:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ve61p/when_you_miss_dinner_lol/
---
https://i.redd.it/a56xzqgsd6x11.jpg
here’s to never eating Pepperidge farm again
/u/Amoryed [5'9 | CW 120 | GW 95| 19 ]
Created: Thu Nov 8 14:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ve4dz/heres_to_never_eating_pepperidge_farm_again/
---
https://i.redd.it/te42p07vc6x11.jpg
[Other] Big facts
/u/maddie0520
Created: Thu Nov 8 14:18:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ve20c/big_facts/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/9vc5zt/keep_em_guessing/
[Discussion] I feel this
/u/crankyhedgiebutt
Created: Thu Nov 8 14:16:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ve18r/i_feel_this/
---
https://geminiresearchnews.com/2018/11/men-hooked-on-muscles-struggle-with-binge-drinking-depression-and-weight-loss/
I wanted to start keeping a journal of how much I eat, what I eat, and my thoughts and feelings throughout the day, so I made this! More info in comments.
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | CW 147 | -64 lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 14:02:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdwz3/i_wanted_to_start_keeping_a_journal_of_how_much_i/
---
https://imgur.com/FpUSwL3
How should you take care of yourself after a purge?
/u/st3phyx_x
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:55:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdur2/how_should_you_take_care_of_yourself_after_a_purge/
---
I'm aware about rinsing with baking soda/water, drinking sports drinks and not brushing teeth for an hour.
Is there anything else I can do to look after my teeth and body after a purge?
my precious lovechilds, these are the things i've lost to my ed
/u/basicvodkaboy [Height 5'9" | CW 119 | BMI 17,6| Weight Lost 64lbs | Gendermale]
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:54:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdubr/my_precious_lovechilds_these_are_the_things_ive/
---
\-my butt
\-my dignity: Falling unconscious in the tram? Who the fuck cares? Just pretend it didn’t happen, get out and walk home for 4 km, because clearly, thats a marvelous idea and you need to burn those calories honey
\-my fear of being judged: Walking into the grocery store like a million bucks and buying 4 cans of red bull sugar free and one (1) pack of 90 cals microwave vegetables for my OMAD at 9 p.m? hell yes! buy a bottle of muller-thurgau wine for 6 bucks (only 74 calories per 100ml! 560 cals for the whole bottle!) and a pack of cigarettes? well of course! that’s a healthy, filling meal (you can’t change my mind) and i don’t even care what the other people at the store think of me
\-the rest of my emotional stability: get angry about the smallest thing? it's because you're fat!frantically clean your appartement for 20 minutes and break down crying like a banshee? count me in!
\-my butt (seriously where is it)
\-my image of self: what are we today? a crusty, lardy goblin or the most beautiful godly creature you’ve ever laid eyes upon? tune in to find out!!! (or don’t, because i’m both things all the time, like schrödingers cat)
\-my hair: seriously it’s leaving me with an enormous speed, send help or a wig
\-my academic success: not having the energy to visit the university to obtain some nutritious and important knowledge???? who cares sweatie???? just starve yourself and everything will be absolutely fine!!! (plus you won’t have to worry about your future if you starve yourself to death before you’re 25!!!!)
\-my butt (send thoughts and prayers pls)
\-my financial stability: not spending any money today or waste 3 euros on shirataki noodles, 4 euros on french cornfed chicken (this bitch is indulging herself!!) and 14 euros on the finest absolut raspberri vodka you can find? take a fucking guess!!! savings account who???? i don’t know her
\-the ability to have meaningful sessions with my therapist: i pump through the doors, no brakes, no flakes, what’s up linda guess who still doesn’t have an idea what’s going on in their life (she looks very frightened and has no idea where to start, i can see her trembling of fear, her studies have not prepared her for this crazy boi)
\-my relationships: my parents are constantly asking me what i've eaten, i have no friends and no boyfriend, because who would put up with this fucking mess
\-and last but not least: my butt
alrightey kids, gotta go. my pizza has arrived, i’m gonna have a b/p festival tonight. moral of the story: take care children, i hope every one of you has a great day or night (timezones are strange and a foreign concept to me), and y’all are so fucking precious and i love you
[Discussion] Where do you draw the line between having An Eating Disorder™️ and simply having disordered eating habits?
/u/teryakis
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:53:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdu6r/where_do_you_draw_the_line_between_having_an/
---
This is something that’s been on my mind for a while. I think this is also a potential distinction between this sub and many on 1200ip. So sorry if this type of post is not allowed here but I was just interested to hear everyone’s thoughts!
Juul
/u/griffinruns
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:53:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdu5r/juul/
---
I have started to juul all the time now instead of once or twice a week and it’s helped so much with binge cravings + nicotine is a natural laxative. Guess you have to trade one addiction for another 🤷🏻♀️
[Discussion] DAE get more energy when they start restricting?
/u/WinterSpades
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:49:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdsu1/dae_get_more_energy_when_they_start_restricting/
---
I've been keeping my calories between 750-900 recently and I'm practically bouncing off the walls. Like I thought it'd be the opposite and I'd be exhausted all the time? My attention span is garbage right now but I'm just raring to go. Anyone else experience this? I'm not asking for medical advice, moreso asking to hear about other experiences
[Discussion] when was the last time you guys wore jeans?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdll7/when_was_the_last_time_you_guys_wore_jeans/
---
For me I haven’t worn jeans since like I was 10 because I feel so insecure on them. I recently picked up a pair of jeans I bought maybe 4/5 years ago and it buttoned up (with some effort) but it was super tight. I mean it might not seem like much but before I couldn’t even get it up past my thighs. Anyways at this weight i still wouldn’t wear jeans out. How do you guys feel about jeans?
[Help] New diet-
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:26:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdlgv/new_diet/
---
Breakfast-rice cake 50Cals
Lunch-nothing water only occasionally broth
Dinner-broth 1-2cups or light dinner based on lunch
Snack-low cal fruit and veggies
Proud hope to stick with this as I’ve been binging like crazy this past week!!!
[Other] other short girls with really muscular/fat thighs?
/u/kitt_3n [5'2 | CW: 104 | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:25:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdle3/other_short_girls_with_really_muscularfat_thighs/
---
I'm quite happy with my upper body but my thighs are MASSIVE and I am not exaggerating when I say this. I think it's because I've always done a lot of walking and running my entire life - not something that I want to cut out though. Anyone here have similar issues/find a remedy for their horrendous legs? I'm assuming just losing more weight...? And probably staying away from lower body exercises.
At what point did your legs look proportional to the rest of your body? It makes my body look seriously grotesque :( I'm close ish to being underweight so IDK what to do at this point.
[Help] Body is resistant to laxatives?
/u/cattivity
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:22:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdkfm/body_is_resistant_to_laxatives/
---
Idk what is wrong with my body but I'm hella backed up and bloated and lax does nothing.
Tried drinking senna tea and taking miralax and got nothing out of that. Just bad gas.
Last night I took some generic dulcolax and I still just have bad gas and I took the tiniest poo on the planet. Literally a rabbit dropping. Sorry I know I'm being gross but I'm just so frustrated. I definitely have food in my body that needs to come out :/
Why is my body so resistant to shit?
Binging two times a week?
/u/killercatz7420
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdj3t/binging_two_times_a_week/
---
Anyone here binge twice a week? Any weight gain?
[Help] talk me out of purging
/u/xStingx
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:12:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdh5g/talk_me_out_of_purging/
---
I'm addicted. I purge almost everything I put in my mouth unless I happen to eat something while I'm out which I try hard not to do. I just got home and ate a few snacks. 2 slices of raisin bread (80 cals each), Seafood Snackers pack (80 calories), a small bag of plain lays potato chips (160 cals), and an ice cream bar (160 cals). So that puts me at 560 calories for the day. Which, anorexia me would be okay with but bulimia me is NOT okay with it and I want it out. So please, for the love of God, talk me out of it.
Every time I run my hand through my hair... 😭 (NSFL...) Hair loss is real, y'all.
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:04:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdek3/every_time_i_run_my_hand_through_my_hair_nsfl/
---
https://i.redd.it/7kdrz7jby5x11.jpg
[Help] Does smoking non related tobacco products help you? Fast / Restrict / etc. etc.
/u/caLAfrownia [𝟏𝟔𝟓𝑪𝑴 | 𝟓𝟏.𝟕𝟏𝑲𝑮 | 𝟏𝟖.𝟗𝟕 | 𝟏𝟎.𝟒𝟑𝑲𝑮 | 𝑭]
Created: Thu Nov 8 13:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vddq0/does_smoking_non_related_tobacco_products_help/
---
DELETE IF NOT ALLOWED PLEASE - NON ADVICE SEEKING, DISCUSSION BASED ONLY . TY
I used to smoke tobacco but it made my teeth really yellow, I never got in the habit of smoking cigarettes either. it took me about 3 months to finish a pack of parliaments. I admit , it helped take my mind off of food but it restricted my performance in running , ( like ... I run A LOT!!! so the choice was obvious) made my teeth yellow and it gets expensive in CA.
MMJ is pretty expensive in LA too. I lived in Colorado and it was like pocket change. Seriously, if you had a spare 10, you were set for the week. Again, all the stains I found that were suppose to avoid cravings, didn't for me.
A while back I had a boyfriend who was really into hookah.. I remember being at my lowest then..
Does anyone have like a hookah set up that works for you? cause I know those disposable e cigs eat up funds over time.. but then again , if you find the right smoke shop / low prices it doesn't really matter.
is there something else than hookah? brands if it is hookah? idk . what does Ed make you do if its not tobacco or MMj?
[Rant/Rave] Skinny Pants
/u/galacticmarble
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:58:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdcls/skinny_pants/
---
So right now I own 6 pairs of the Brandy Melville Tilden pants that fit me like too tight leggings when they used to be fitted in the waist and then straight leg/slightly baggy. I call them my skinny pants and keep them folded at the front of my pants drawer and I need these bad boys to fit by the summer. When they fit me I owned 2 pairs and when I grew out of them I bought 4 more so I’ll have motivation to make them fit lmao
[Discussion] What eating disorder stereotypes/rules do you break?
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 149 | 20.84 | -27]
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:58:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vdcdw/what_eating_disorder_stereotypesrules_do_you_break/
---
Here’s mine:
* I do not have any of my shit together. Literally every media representation of anorexia is girls who control everything in their life. I am not a perfectionist.
* I have never been to a therapist for my ED. I’m not ready to recover so I have no official diagnosis.
* I’m queer. Literally every film/boom ever only has the straight girls with boys flocking after her having an ED.
* I have some “safe foods” that are greasy high calorie fast food choices.
* I have never used my eating disorder as manipulative power over someone. Seriously, wtf is with that trope?
* I HATE vegetables.
* I sometimes can make myself eat normally for a few days to please others. (But I hate myself for it the whole time & a week or two after lmao).
[Rant/Rave] when you try to recover and your skin freaks out
/u/kinkchip
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:41:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vd6ye/when_you_try_to_recover_and_your_skin_freaks_out/
---
made myself some steak, whole wheat pasta and veggies for dinner, had Greek yogurt for dessert, I enjoyed it and felt full! Then I woke up this morning with huge, painful cysts on my jaw and cheeks. I was going to go work out but now I can’t leave the house because I’m putting ice on my face and crying from the pain. Months and months of diligent skincare down the fucking drain probably because I ate dairy and carbs. When I was doing 300-500cal a day of mostly veggies, tofu and tea my skin was great, so honestly how could I be motivated to recover when this is the result of eating a “normal” meal? This sucks
Finally got over the purging in public anxiety
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:40:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vd6nr/finally_got_over_the_purging_in_public_anxiety/
---
It was a single stall restroom but I was still worried someone might hear. But i was more worried about what I had eaten and getting it out, at least some of it. Now that I’ve gotten over that fear I doubt anything is going to stop me from purging
[Discussion] STILL PRETENDING THEY AREN'T ONE OF US!!
/u/megamorphaseez
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vd2in/still_pretending_they_arent_one_of_us/
---
https://i.redd.it/3o5zmzxpr5x11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Inpatient fucked with my recovery attempts
/u/altrashtor
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vczeo/inpatient_fucked_with_my_recovery_attempts/
---
I recently spent five days in a mental health facility that, after talking with friends afterward, seems to be an absolute nightmare of a hospital. They were negligent, and probably made things worse for my mental health, but one thing I secretly appreciated was the lack of food.
It took until my second day for them to tell me, after letting everyone during intake that I am vegan, that I could request vegan meals from the cafeteria. Up until then, I had only been able to eat vegetables and chips. I ate everything vegan provided (because they record everything you eat and I didn't want to be kept longer), and I still was only served ~1150kcal a day.
When I did get to have meals made that were vegan, the only option for lunch and dinner was chikn nuggets that seemed... suspiciously realistic. It took me until the third meal to realize that they were probably actually chicken, but purging wasn't an option. All in all, I was still only being served a max of 1600kcals a day, including the nuggets of LIES, but since I finally had a release day I didn't eat all of that since they stopped paying close attention to my intake.
It was a fucked up experience, and this was the least egregious aspect of the hospitalization. I was constipated for five days because of the chicken, I have refused to eat food unless I made it from scratch, and all of my attempts at recovery have been thrown out the window after losing control of my diet.
I'd love if anyone who has had a similar experience in a hospital to say their piece and make me feel less alone in all of this.
[Rant/Rave] I think I'm relapsing
/u/HappyStrawberry29
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:17:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcz8j/i_think_im_relapsing/
---
I(29F) used to be severely anorexic in HS (5'9" 115lbs), I got better bit then I was overeating and put on ALOT of weight (HW 235lb). I tried to convince myself that it was better then starvation and that I was happy. I wasnt! I got engaged and my wedding is in 5months. I started dieting and IF and then cut out sugars and then the carbs, similar to keto but far more restrictive. I made sure to eat at least 1k cal a day and hit at least the 85% of my goal fats and all that but now I'm so much less hungry and I feel guilty eating even close to 1k a day. I average about 600cals and I'm around the 35% of daily intake goals. I've also changed my IF from 16/8 to 18/6 and sometimes I do 20/4. I feel like I'm slowly but surely sinking back into ED and I dont know how to stop. It's just SO satisfying watching the scale go down. I've lost over 60lbs already and I feel like 12lb more will make me happy but there this thought in the back of my head telling me I wont want to stop losing. I just want to be a skinny bride so badly!
I think someone in my company heard me...
/u/dharmaticate
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:15:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcyfn/i_think_someone_in_my_company_heard_me/
---
Hope they think I’m pregnant. 🤷♀️
Have you guys ever had a stranger catch you purging (or doing some other disordered behavior)? What’d you do?
[Tip] hunger restraint tips?
/u/asheristrasher
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:06:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcvkk/hunger_restraint_tips/
---
i really need tips to lose weight and i'm new to this. for me starving myself is about survival, because it's much less likely to kill me than gender dysphoria. for the record, i have an ed because i'm transgender female-to-male and unfortunately i naturally gain weight around the hips, chest, and face, which doesn't bode well for a guy desperately trying to look masculine. gender dysphoria is the reason i'm suicidal and i can't even begin to describe my amount of self-hatred and suffering. i've already attempted twice and i can't go back to the psych hospital. if i can't get on testosterone and rearrange my fat distribution this is all i can do to feel like i'm fixing this stupid fucking body. i don't care about being skinny in and of it itself, but i want my figure to be less curvy.
i can't stop. it's either this or a noose, and i *wish* i was being dramatic. i just need tips on how to restrain the urge to eat, because the reason it's so bad in the first place is because when i got depression i ate as a crutch and i have little to no impulse control. and while you're at it, maybe tips on how to motivate myself for exercise. i'm trying to build up my arms but uh, my depression = no will to do anything all day.
[Rant/Rave] How long does binging set you back by?
/u/Laurenpower
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcu93/how_long_does_binging_set_you_back_by/
---
Ugh I was doing really well and tomorrow is weigh in day but I just binged super badly. I’ve had 3tsp of peanut butter, a load of choc shot (14cals/tsp), 6 portions of nuts and two slices of white bread.
I feel so guilty as I’m aiming for 2.75lb weight loss a week until Christmas and I was ahead of my goal but I’m really nervous to weigh in tomorrow. It makes all the food hiding and fasting seem useless.
I had a bm thankfully, so maybe tomorrow won’t be as bad as I’m expecting? I’m just super worried to weigh in tomorrow, and wondering if I’ll have gained loads from this.
Sorry this is sort of a ramble but I’d love some advice? Thinking of fasting tomorrow to make up for it.
So, my dad wanted to talk this morning...
/u/RDSregret [5'4 | 105 | 18 | -51 lbs | 18F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:02:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vctyw/so_my_dad_wanted_to_talk_this_morning/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Zhfe4Sx
[Rant/Rave] Another girl’s ed made me cry???
/u/wiggimal [5'6 | 128 | 21.0 | -57 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 12:00:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcte2/another_girls_ed_made_me_cry/
---
So there’s this girl I see twice a week walking the halls in one particular building that I have classes in. I first noticed her because she’s wiiiiicked tiny and I was extremely jealous. She always wears jeans and a big jacket but her legs are like the size of my wrists. She might not but I really really suspect she has an ed.
Well today I was sitting in said building waiting for class to start and I saw her. Normally she doesn’t look happy but today she looked really off. I looked at her face and she looked like she was really struggling with something. Instead of her normal outfit she was wearing giant sweatpants and a giant sweater under her jacket. All the sudden I feel tears coming to my eyes. I ran to the bathroom and just started sobbing over how bad I felt for her. Normally I can’t sympathize with people who I feel jealous of but I just wanted to help her so badly.
I don’t want to approach her and call her out on it and try to help because I could be wrong and it would just be so intrusive but goddamn this girl is breaking my heart.
this Thanksgiving, the goal isnt to have a flat stomach...
/u/skinnybitchqueen [5'1"| 110 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:54:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcrk6/this_thanksgiving_the_goal_isnt_to_have_a_flat/
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...the goal is to be able to eat a full plate at dinner and *still* have a flat stomach.
im about 20 pounds away and i've got exactly 2 weeks.
Ate 3000 calories
/u/EDpression_ [5'5'' |22.9|CW: 136 | LW: 130 |HW: 160|GW: 110| -6 lbs| mid20s F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:47:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcpgk/ate_3000_calories/
---
God I just ate 3000 calories, ate 2000+ for the last 2 days as well and i feel like absolutr shit. Honestly, anxiety attack almost, I feel terrrible and like i've ruined everything. Just wanted to trll someone. I eant to cry. Why am i so fat. I'll never lose weight. I've only lost like 3 lbs these last few weeks. I hate this
At least I have you guys <3 so grateful for this subreddit. You guys get it.
God I hate myself
Failing at school as well. Why am I so useless. I'll never get a girlfriend
haha sorry, jeez i'm whiney
[Other] Drawer of shame. This was a single 3 hour binge, two weeks ago. I should throw out to hide from my husband but I like to look at it. Smell the wrappers and then poke my fat stomach and remind myself of what a monster I am. He never looks in the TV stand but I still feel conflicted about keeping it!
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:44:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vco9o/drawer_of_shame_this_was_a_single_3_hour_binge/
---
https://i.redd.it/s6g08ymyj5x11.jpg
My doctor told me to gain weight
/u/bbbbbbbbrittany
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:40:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcn7n/my_doctor_told_me_to_gain_weight/
---
...and now I can’t stop bingeing.
I’m 5’6 and 110 lbs, she wants me to be 120 when I see her again in three months. I kept telling myself “oh god no” I’m not gaining ten fucking pounds. But now it’s like in my head I think that it’s okay for me to eat and then I justify these ugly binges.
I haven’t been able to fast for a single day since I went to the doctor, what gives?!
Did anybody not gain weight after their doctor told them to? What happened?
[Discussion] Has anyone heard of or tried Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing therapy?
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| BMI 24.8 | -50lbs| 🍑 damnitjanet6 | 20F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:31:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vckfo/has_anyone_heard_of_or_tried_eye_movement/
---
I've never heard of this before but I got pointed towards it in my councelling session today and have been told it might help me with processing the root of my eating issues (everyone seems to think my issues stem from needing to have control over everything following a sexual assault when I was younger). from my limited understanding, I think it's meant to help the brain process traumatic memories and help them to be removed from the forefront of the mind. From what I know it involves using flashing lights in your eyes and repetitive sounds as you talk through trauma and this helps the brain to "file it away"? I just wondered if anyone had heard about it before or tried it in relation to their eating disorder?
If anyone has any experience with it, or knows any more than I do, I would really appreciate any information!
[Rant/Rave] Yet another "Boyfriend Appreciation Post" - this gesture made me almost start crying at work.
/u/HyperlyssED [5'6" | CW: 144 | HW: 215 | GW: 120 | 25F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:10:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcdg6/yet_another_boyfriend_appreciation_post_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/8jipw33ec5x11.jpg
[Discussion] Anyone else here in absolute love with 90-99% cacao dark chocolate?
/u/romeodendron
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:08:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vccwr/anyone_else_here_in_absolute_love_with_9099_cacao/
---
Cals are still kind of high - 60 cal for 10 g, but there’s like no sugar and no carbs in it and honestly it just tastes decadent now. No binges for me when I’ve got it around!
[Rant/Rave] I got back down to my high school weight, and I'm tired and sad and have mixed feelings (TW: discussion of weight, sexual assault)
/u/aliennation1137 [5'6" | CW: 105 | BMI: 17.0 | GW: 100 | 22M]
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:07:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vccih/i_got_back_down_to_my_high_school_weight_and_im/
---
Long post - sorry.
For most of the last three years, I've mostly been bulimic or binged or binge/restrict cycled, but lately I have somehow gotten back to restricting, like the original iteration of my ED when I was in late high school/early college. This will kind of come into play later in the post.
So this morning I went to the gym; I weighed myself, clothed and probably slightly dehydrated, and apparently I'm making "progress" more quickly than I expected. Rational \[aliennation1137\] is frightened because that rate of weight loss is not healthy and probably not safe, but disordered \[aliennation1137\] is annoyed that it's still not "fast enough" and I still don't look "sick enough" for my dumbass competitive brain.
While I was walking from the gym to class afterward, I realized that my weight today is the same as it was when I was 17. My ED feels vindicated and smug about it, but I just feel tired and sad because my realization about my weight reminded me how much I've let myself down since I was 17. My life wasn't perfect then, but I was hopeful and naive and I was basically fucking functional, and I think I just feel so sorry for my younger self for everything he's going to go through in the next five years. Like... sorry, kiddo, but you're only going to become more erratic and emotionally unstable, you will treat yourself like shit, you will lose basically all of your trust in other people.
It isn't so much the specific age-number 17 that makes me so sad, as much as it is the reminder of the "old me" and who I used to be. When I was 19 and I'd just gotten out of treatment for the first time, I was lonely and made a dumb choice in men and I was date raped. Prior to that my ED was mostly restrictive, but after that I switched to more bingeing and bulimia, and in general my brain kind of fucking snapped and I lost so much of my hope, pride, and self-worth that it's been hard for me to have any self-respect or make anything in my life go right since then. Now that I'm back to a weight that was characteristic of younger-me, of course I'm thinking about the me that hadn't gone through that, and I just feel exhausted and I want to cry because hey, same weight, but infinitely more fucked-up person. I'm disgusted with myself and who I've been for the past three years, I feel cheated out of my young adulthood, and I wish I could even be semi-functional again.
[Help] Miserable and want to recover but I feel too fat (EDNOS)
/u/fgsn [4'11 | CW: 112.4 | GW: 80 | F23 | High Restriction]
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:06:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vcc2a/miserable_and_want_to_recover_but_i_feel_too_fat/
---
Hey everyone.
I have been cycling through binging and restricting for 8 YEARS now. I am so sick of it. I'm miserable when I restrict and miserable when I binge. I've lost and gained the same 20lbs more times than I care to admit.
Lately I've been working a lot on my anxiety and depression and I know that I use my ED as a distraction. I don't have a place in my life for my ED anymore. As much as I want to hold on to what has been my main coping mechanism for years, I know I need to let go if I really want to tackle my anxiety.
That being said, I feel wayyyy too huge to recover. I'm not at an unhealthy weight by any means (current BMI is around 22 or 23ish) but I'm not happy with how I look. Its been so bad lately that I've been avoiding showering because I can't stand to look at myself. How can I possibly recover when I'm still so unhappy with how I look?
Any advice, anecdotes, words of support, ANYTHING would be appreciated!
[Rant/Rave] Yet another "Great Partner Appreciation" post - he knows I've relapsed hard, and this gesture made me almost start crying at work
/u/HyperlyssED [5'6" | CW: 144 | HW: 215 | GW: 120 | 25F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 11:00:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vca2a/yet_another_great_partner_appreciation_post_he/
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https://i.redd.it/7jxszcrmb5x11.jpg
[Discussion] what are your favorite flavors of halotop?
/u/Eusea
Created: Thu Nov 8 10:52:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vc7n6/what_are_your_favorite_flavors_of_halotop/
---
I have tried most types of halo top and I'm curious to what the ranking would be.
I've hit a plateau help is needed please!!!
/u/Emily_BRrealtor
Created: Thu Nov 8 10:29:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vc02l/ive_hit_a_plateau_help_is_needed_please/
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Hey guys I've lost about 20 lbs in the last 6-7 weeks but the last three have been a plateau. How on earth do I get past this I am dying. I fasted for three days and lost 2 lbs but ate dinner last night. Some tofu and veggies out of a pho bowl and they came right back urg help
[Discussion] Anyone voluntarily dairy free?
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Thu Nov 8 10:25:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbyqq/anyone_voluntarily_dairy_free/
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So when I met Willam the other night (oops, let me pick up that name 🤣) I asked her about her weight loss and ed. She said the number one thing she did was to cut out all dairy. No exceptions. I just watched her asmr video yesterday (hilarious) and she points out that the chips her staff gave her contained dairy, then asked for a lactaid. So I believe her.
How many of you have cut out dairy? Next to carbs, it's my second worse binge food so I think making this modification would be beneficial. Of you cut it out do you become intolerant? What is lactaid for?
I am going to have a cheat meal tonight and I am not going to purge!
/u/peachsy
Created: Thu Nov 8 10:18:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbwhk/i_am_going_to_have_a_cheat_meal_tonight_and_i_am/
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Just wanted to share, lately on my days off work I always binge + purge on whatever i’m craving, but tonight I am going for a meal with friends and will probably consume like 1,500 calories BUT I am not gonna purge. I’m feeling proud.
[Rant/Rave] My friends care when I skip meals but not when others do
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Thu Nov 8 10:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbuoo/my_friends_care_when_i_skip_meals_but_not_when/
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Basically title explains itself. My friends get so mad and annoyed when I skip meals because they’re “concerned” about me but if any of my other female friends who are all WAYYY skinnier than me skip a meal, they don’t bat an eyelash.
I’m tired of coming up with excuses... I suck at lying and they know that I’m making shit up when I say I don’t want to eat a meal
[Rant/Rave] I just found that one the volunteers in my office got hospitalized for anorexia
/u/onetoomanyseltzer [5'4" | HW: 210 CW: 127 GW: 110 | -87lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:58:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbq1v/i_just_found_that_one_the_volunteers_in_my_office/
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I work in a non profit and we have a lot of community members who come in and do stuff around the office. One of them is this tiny old lady who always brings baked goods for the community. I would have guessed that she’s in her 60s, and she’s so very incredibly small. The tiniest woman I’ve ever met in my life. She has very thin hair, dull skin, and legs that are actually smaller than my forearms. I always thought she was frail but it never occurred to me that she might be struggling with ED because in my head old people don’t struggle with it. Oh ignorance.
This morning I received a phone call from her saying her kidneys are shutting down and she needs to be admitted to an eating disorder facility so she won’t be coming in anymore. I found out that she’s actually only 40, and used to be a very successful doctor who couldn’t keep up with her career because of anorexia. Upon the failure of her marriage she moved back in with her mother, and has to rely on her 70 year old dad for basic needs.
Anorexia ruined this woman’s hard earned career, marriage, body, and life. It hurts to realize that might be me if I don’t get better. I don’t know how to get better. I’m so sad and scared.
[Other] Wearing tight clothing to remind me how fat I am?
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:53:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbob0/wearing_tight_clothing_to_remind_me_how_fat_i_am/
---
Sometimes I wear clothes that are kinda tight or wear my belt really tight (not out, but sometimes I wear these clothes under looser clothes) to remind myself how fat I am and that I really need to lose weight. DAE do this?!
My Sodium Intake: A Horror Story
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 108.4 | GW 103.5 | F26]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:52:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbo16/my_sodium_intake_a_horror_story/
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Guys I need help. I had a maintenance day yesterday (lol) and apparently I ate almost 5000 FUCKING MGS OF SODIUM WTF
I realized ALL. MY. SAFE. FOODS. are super sodium loaded. Like yeah I know fruits and veggies but things like low cal wraps, a lot of protein bars, vegan deli slices, rice cakes, salsa, you name it...
I need new safe food ideas (including breads and packaged products) that won't blow my sodium out of the water... Please help...
Thanks,
a concerned sea whale
TIFU by having slimmer fingers
/u/wrinkle-crease
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbnwx/tifu_by_having_slimmer_fingers/
---
The story took place two weeks ago but first here is a little background. Sooo as much as I love having slimmer fingers, wrists, anything from losing weight, one problem I’ve developed is that two rings I always wear have started to fall off easily. They will just fly off my finger if I am not careful with bending my fingers enough. Both of these rings are very sentimental to me. One is my wedding ring- super cheap and not fancy but sentimental for obvious reasons. The other is a gold ring on my pinky given to me by my grandparents when I was a child, something I considered the most cherished and valued physical item I own. I’ve worn it since childhood; since then my grandfather has passed, and my grandmother has developed bad dementia. She has a matching gold pinky ring that she often brings up, even though she can’t remember what year it is or her some of her grandkids’ names. So you can probably see where this fuck up is going...
This past week I was traveling and last night I was out at a club. Not my usual scene but it started out fun. As I was walking down some stairs, my gold pinky ring fell off my finger and down the stairs. There was a crowd of people at the bottom and I started shining a light on the floor, asking people if they could see it, even got on the ground looking for a while. I tried looking under the stairs but there was no way to reach under them except for between the stairs, so I was down there reaching my arm through the stairs feeling around a pile of nastiness to try and feel if it was there. 2 of my friends even helped me look around and under the stairs. Eventually we stopped looking and I’ve accepted that it’s gone. This was last night, and today I had to fly back home. I called the club to ask if they had found a gold ring and they said no.
As much as I like having this physical confirmation that my fingers are slimmer, this makes me pretty freaking sad.
TLDR; My fingers got skinnier, but a ring with a lot of sentimental value fell off my finger and is now lost forever.
[Rant/Rave] Going into a rage about irrational things
/u/blackberryhoney [5'7.5" | 138.4 | 21.4 | -1.6 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:41:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbknc/going_into_a_rage_about_irrational_things/
---
I literally just nearly screamed at my husband today because I went to pack myself a salad this morning and noticed all the croutons were gone.
He literally eats things straight out of the bag that are not meant to be snacked on. That and oyster crackers for soup too. Like, wtf.
In my head this is the only bread/carb that I allow myself to have and it’s just so unimportant realistically but that small detail is what helps me restrict lower is not fully depriving myself in those ways.
I had to literally take a step back and breathe and use all my energy not to get mad.
I shouldn’t even eat them anyway because I’m literally the closest to my hw than I have been in four years.
DON’T TOUCH MY FOOD.
Raynaud Disease
/u/bmalaur [5'4" | 24F | HW: 127 | CW: 103 | LW: 85]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbj8l/raynaud_disease/
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Out of curiosity, does anyone else here have Raynaud's?
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raynaud\_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raynaud_syndrome)
[Discussion] DAE set a timeframe to finish a food?
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 115 lb| BMI 18.6 | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:35:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbinv/dae_set_a_timeframe_to_finish_a_food/
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I know I’m not the only person who does this but I’ve noticed that this rule has been increasing for me over the past few weeks. In an effort to be more mindful while I’m eating and decrease binge urges, I force myself to drag out my meals/snacks. I’m currently eating a yogurt and wouldn’t let myself finish it until after 11:30am, meaning that it’s taking me over half an hour to eat a 5 oz yogurt. If I finish the food before my designated time, it pushes the next time I can eat to later (I try to eat meals at least 4 hours apart).
Does anyone else do this or find it helpful? Any other weird food rules that probably don’t actually make sense but you follow anyway?
[Rant/Rave] It’s childish but mad at myself for forgot my fitbit and I’m thinking about it more than I’d like
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:30:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbh24/its_childish_but_mad_at_myself_for_forgot_my/
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It just feels weird being without it. I only realized it when I was logging in my b/f on the app. I’m an adult and literally at my office job and obsessing over it. Thinking things like; “I’ll make up for the loss of steps at the gym.”
The dumb thing is really apart of my everyday life. Like I have an alarm on my phone to remind me to do the 250+ steps 5 times a day every hour. This little ritual is apart of the app. It just gives me structure and I realize how much I actually want control because usually I’m like “pffffft control” idk it’s bothersome when I’m reminded that my obsession is abnormal
FINALLY AT A NEW LW AFTER 4 MONTHS OF HELLISH MAINTAINING!!!
/u/-fauna [5'5 | CW/LW: 101.6| 17.0 | UGW: Maintain 95-99 ♥ | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:28:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbgat/finally_at_a_new_lw_after_4_months_of_hellish/
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IVE BEEN STUCK IN AN AWFUL BINGE/PURGE/RESTRICT CYCLE FOR MONTHS BUT I FINALLY SOMEWHAT BROKE IT AND I WOOSHED LAST NIGHT AND I DROPPED 2.5LBS OVERNIGHT DOWN TO A NEW LW AND IM SO HAPPY????? I CAN FINALLY UPDATE MY FLAIR.
...but now im too scared to actually consume ANYTHING (even water???) and i was supposed to go to out to this really nice ramen restaurant tonight that i was looking forward to for WEEKS and i dont know what to do 🙃
[Discussion] Waist Training
/u/klfet [5’9” | 147.0| 21.7 | 🥀| F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:22:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbedk/waist_training/
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Has anyone ever used a waist training to aid in their weight loss or slimming down of the mid section? I was considering purchasing one to wear throughout my day and at the gym during my cardio.
Thoughts?
[Rant/Rave] I’ve lost 40lb...
/u/sydenyp
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:19:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbdk4/ive_lost_40lb/
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So why can’t I be **proud** and **happy** about that???? My s/o is very proud (note: I started with a higher BMI and currently have a super average medium af body so he isn’t rooting for a skeleton he’s just seeing me as a healthier girl) and wants me to post about the transformation so our friends and family can see as well.
I however, just see my stomach protruding, my waist being too wide and my legs not toned enough. I don’t care how far I’ve come, and at the same time it’s all I think about- next to losing even more. I can see the difference, I’m just still not where I want to be so don’t really feel okay to brag about it. I sliced a before and after comparison together, but seeing the before photo like that made me want to cry. Then I actually cried in the bathroom a bit later, it hit me hard. How could I let myself ever get so disgusting? I would never want my friends and family to be reminded of how big I was before, I’m absolutely mortified and even a little triggered by the thought. It’s also strange that I’ve never viewed anyone of equal or higher weight this way, it’s definitely just my own bullshit.
I tell my s/o that I still want to lose a little here and there and will post a before and after when I’m finally ready to maintain. That’s probably a lie, who knows.
Thank you guys for existing.
[Tip] @ smoothie king, ordering w/ splenda basically cuts your calories in half
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Thu Nov 8 09:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vbbkm/smoothie_king_ordering_w_splenda_basically_cuts/
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https://i.redd.it/merg7kc0t4x11.jpg
[Discussion] 3 songs that remind you of your eating disorder and the lyrics that speak to you most
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Thu Nov 8 08:59:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vb75o/3_songs_that_remind_you_of_your_eating_disorder/
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I love music, I listen to it every day. Especially when I work out.
Some of the songs I listen to remind me of my ed even if they aren’t exactly ED songs:
Mother Mother- Body: “‘cause I’ve grown tired of this body. Cumbersome and heavy body.”
Ezra Furman- Body was made: “My body was made with this attribute too: The need to become something new. Mysterious process that don’t involve you.”
The Mountain Goats- How to Embrace a Swamp Creature: “Condemned to walk the soil amongst all creatures wild and tame. Go where I go, do what I must. Crawl, starving, on my belly, licking up the dry dust.” “..........But I’m out of my element. I can’t breathe.”
I’ve seen people associate the mother mother song with their ed lol. It’s hard not to.
Ezra’s song gets me going when I’m on the treadmill and I’ve loved the mountain goats for years and most of their music is poetic in general and how to embrace a swamp creature reminds me of being disordered in public.
I’m really curious about your songs, I have a friend who listed “When I grow up” by the Pussycat Dolls!
[Discussion] I’ve never felt motivation like this before (vent)
/u/headhunterv1_0
Created: Thu Nov 8 08:46:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vb347/ive_never_felt_motivation_like_this_before_vent/
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Hello, it’s my first time posting in here. I just feel the need to share.
I have a .... romantic friend? Crush? Who I won’t be able to see for 2-3 weeks. At my current rate of weight loss I’m losing about a lb a day. When it occurred to me that I could be 10+ lbs lighter the next time I see them I was hit with euphoria. I have had things to fast for before, but nothing, not even a photo shoot has motivated me like this. I can’t wait for them to see and feel how slim I’ll be. Restricting is so easy all of a sudden. I feel at peace. I feel so good.
Thank you for reading, I feel like only you all could relate .........
[Discussion] What’s the best low-cal ice cream?
/u/theprincessofpirates
Created: Thu Nov 8 08:42:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vb227/whats_the_best_lowcal_ice_cream/
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I’ve tried halo top and Arctic Zero but what seems to be the community favorite? (Also if you have flavor suggestions I’d love to hear them.)
The universe told me not to eat today.
/u/hypermagical20 [5'5" | 133 | GW1: 130 | GW2: 122 | UGW: 115]
Created: Thu Nov 8 08:34:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vazli/the_universe_told_me_not_to_eat_today/
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My partner hid a bag of the world's most delicious low cal corn chips somewhere in our house so I wouldn't eat them (it's mostly a joke, we're both addicted to them and that's the only way they'll last more than a day). I was looking for them this morning mostly to prove I could find them but also realistically to probably crush the whole bag. I was looking in the closet and a coat fell, so I jerked my arm back and hit my elbow so hard on the doorframe that I immediately got nauseous and almost passed out. Now more than half an hour later it's swollen and painful af and I still feel sick and I don't want to eat anything now. So. Touche universe, I get it.
[Rant/Rave] Being hung over sucks.
/u/3cats_in_atrenchcoat
Created: Thu Nov 8 08:25:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vawkn/being_hung_over_sucks/
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I've been really cutting back on drinking but last night I went to a concert with friends and I think went a little too wild. (Also didn't eat much that day)
I'm sitting on the couch feeling mildly questionable, my stomach halfway between vomity and starving. All I want is greasy fix me food but that's not happening folks.
I know that making myself puke and taking a shower would probably fix me up but my landlord is coming by at some random point today so I kinda got to pretend to be functional.
[Discussion] Scale issue? +Other questions for discussion lol
/u/crashbandiclit [23F | 5’4” | CW: 🍔 | GW: 110lbs]
Created: Thu Nov 8 08:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vatgs/scale_issue_other_questions_for_discussion_lol/
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So I weigh weekly, and I have a roommate who’s always in the bathroom in the mornings when I need to weigh, so I keep my scale in my room and do it there. My whole room is carpet except for a small flat area where there used to be a fireplace, and I use that to weigh. For the longest time my scale was saying “3.4 lbs” on it just from me putting it there, so I figured that even though that spot is flat, it’s not level (and this was confirmed when I weighed in the kitchen immediately after this once and it was right at 0.0 lbs and gave me an accurate weight), so there’s a 3.4 pound weight I have to add to my weekly weight.
Anyway, I weighed today and then added my 3.4 pounds (my scale said 3.4 at first but then 0.0 so I added it in anyway), and according to that I’d only lost a little over 2 pounds this week. I was thinking to myself, I see the weight I’ve lost, I FEEL the weight I’ve lost, there is no way I’ve only lost 2 pounds this week. So I took my scale to the kitchen, and the weight was the same there as the original weight in my room before I added the 3.4, and I lost 6 pounds this week! That’s more like it 😂 thank god 😪
My question with this is has anyone had a scale that puts on like....ghost pounds? And you have to add or subtract a certain number when you weigh? Or is this just my scale and should I get a new one lol? I think really what I was supposed to have done a while back when it kept saying 3.4 is SUBTRACTED that from my weight, but I added it and always thought I was bigger, but either way, every now and then it does that, and other times it levels at 0. I don’t know if I should trust the scale or not lol 😭
But in other news, on the topic of feeling the weight I’ve lost, does anyone else have a specific part of their body they can REALLY feel weight loss in?? Like if I feel like I’m not making progress I grope the top of my thighs under my butt and they’re much, much smaller by the day 😂 as well as now needing a belt to hold my pants up, and that belt going a hole tighter every couple of days! I’m still waiting for my watch to be able to go tighter, there’s something so satisfying about dainty wrists lmao. But yeah, I’ve learned the first and fastest place I lose weight is my thighs and stomach. I’m not mad at all 🥰
TL;DR: Is it normal or common to have a scale that isn’t accurate/should I get a new one or just adjust my numbers accordingly? What do you do if this is something that happens with your scale? And do you have a favorite meaty and a favorite bony part you like to check for weight loss to feel satisfied? 😂
Ugh. Going out of town for the weekend and I know it's going to be a shitshow.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Thu Nov 8 07:59:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vaovl/ugh_going_out_of_town_for_the_weekend_and_i_know/
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I will pick healthier restaurant options (a salad, please, not a pizza) that are vegetable-heavy, but I'm still going to end up way over my calories. My boyfriend is already badgering me about my eating (YOU CAN'T FAST ALL DAY, YOU WON'T HAVE ANY ENERGY) and I just want to die. I've put on a few pounds recently (deliberately, actually), but I'm now trying to down my weight in preparation for Thanksgiving and Christmas...so...fuck everything I guess.
[Discussion] trying out some ‘refeeding’ after a couple months of <500cal daily, baffles me that 450cal is reasonable for a sandwich to healthy people??
/u/nobodyfast
Created: Thu Nov 8 07:51:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vambt/trying_out_some_refeeding_after_a_couple_months/
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https://i.redd.it/fmd5n1uee4x11.jpg
[Other] My significant other try to suggest that I take away my scale yesterday [other]
/u/Alexithymia115 [5'3" | SW:120 CW:117| 20.5|GW:115|UGW:110 | 23F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 07:35:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vahvx/my_significant_other_try_to_suggest_that_i_take/
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So yesterday I was crying because I gained like 2 lb and what I know is water weight but it's still frustrating. So I was crying with my head on my so's lap and then he hits me with have you thought about giving your scale away to someone....... It's a goddamn miracle I didn't let the EDmonster lash out. I just kept repeating no until he stopped asking. And then I. Explained the level of anxiety it would give me NOT TO KNOW MY WEIGHT. which would put me right back where I was before. Not knowing if I'm fat or skinny because I can't always trust my eyes or my body to tell me the truth.
Well uh +1 for communication? -2 for insanity?
ED in full swing after midterms.
/u/apidose_pile
Created: Thu Nov 8 07:26:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vafbb/ed_in_full_swing_after_midterms/
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Last night I ate a bunch of shrimp knowing that they were funky. Just to be certain that my stomach would be torn up, I ate half a pint of Halo Top too. I was stomach sick all night and didn't have to go to dinner, trivia, house activities, or study all night. I've been doing some c/s to get through mountains of school work, but using food to physically punish myself and avoid stress is the nail in the coffin.
P.S. I meant school midterms, not the midterm elections (although that rigamarole sure didn't help).
Fleece leggings?
/u/TinyHeart__
Created: Thu Nov 8 07:24:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9vaehw/fleece_leggings/
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Does anyone have a recommendation for fleece leggings? I've been searching online but it seems like everything has bad reviews. I'm so cold! Please help!
Talking to daughters about weight
/u/MommyInTheMoshPit
Created: Thu Nov 8 07:07:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9va9t7/talking_to_daughters_about_weight/
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So I've read that there are many, many WRONG ways for moms to talk to their kids (especially daughters) about weight. Are there any right ways? I need some advice.
I have a 10 yo daughter who is overweight and definitely food-focused. She's also the artistic type who'd rather sit down with her guitar or a craft or a sketch pad than do anything physical. She has a very healthy diet (fruits and veg, zero dairy, very little junk food) but her portions could definitely use some work.
I never, EVER bring up her weight. She rides her bicycle everywhere and her legs are super strong. She runs track in the fall-spring season and swims all summer. She has diagnosed digestive and thyroid conditions which keep the pounds on. But, being real, her favorite food is "more". She and I definitely have that in common.
She came to me last week and said she was fat, and she doesn't want to be fat, and she wants to lose weight. We talked about smaller portions and healthy snacks and going for a run on Saturday mornings instead of going on YouTube. I told her I'd love her no matter her size, that healthy is better than skinny, and that she's beautiful.
What else do I say? What else do I do? I do not want to give this sweet, sensitive little artist a complex about food. I don't want her to inherit my BED/bulimia behaviors and I definitely don't want to see her lose a lot of weight at the expense of her physical and mental health.
WHAT DO I SAY????? Help me, fellow ED folks!!!!! My other kids are skinny boys who have to be cajoled to eat.
[Rant/Rave] Am I actually losing weight orrrr are my jeans just continuously being stretched out by my fat ass?
/u/bottomlesspitttt
Created: Thu Nov 8 06:48:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9va465/am_i_actually_losing_weight_orrrr_are_my_jeans/
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Who knows??? Shit like this makes me want to get a scale again. This has been a rant post.
those that were "recovered", what brought you back?
/u/rheartilly [🍑m00n_presence | 154cm| -23lb, -10.5kg]
Created: Thu Nov 8 06:45:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9va3cn/those_that_were_recovered_what_brought_you_back/
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i was just having flashbacks to what sparked my on-and-off again ED and wanted to hear what kind of stories y'all had. mine is kinda dumb but i'll share it anyways...
besides my mom bullying me about my weight near daily for years, back in the beginning of my relationship, i was super insecure (still am!! hAhahA) and i kept catching my bf with porn. and like logically, yeah..i know everyone looks at porn but OMG every. single. time. i saw what he was watching it was always titled something like "skinny teen blonde" or it was just a skinny white girl in general and OH BOY did that fuck me up. i remember he knew i was upset about it and he tried to look up "thick asian" and for some reason that really hurt my feelings LOL
that was nearly ten years ago and i randomly remember that and get in my feelings. but since then i've been up and down 50+ lbs and i just think im stuck in this hell FOREVER thanks to binge eating :))))
anyways please share your stories because i'm sad today and i dont want to feel so alone x
[Discussion] In what ways are you unstereotypical in your ED?
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Thu Nov 8 06:30:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9zkv/in_what_ways_are_you_unstereotypical_in_your_ed/
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Mine's kinda silly in that I don't like monster or diet coke.
[Rant/Rave] I might not be able to reconcile with the man I love... (got some bad news today)
/u/Annewellmorrel [18F|SW100kg|CW78.7kg|UGW50kg|5’6]
Created: Thu Nov 8 06:22:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9xkk/i_might_not_be_able_to_reconcile_with_the_man_i/
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but that is NOT a reason to eat below 700 calories today. I am NOT going to restrict as a response to my sadness - that’s even worse than binging in response to it! I’m gonna eat maintenance today.
I made a mistake but I knew very little then. I can forgive myself for this someday. Probably not today though.
[Rant/Rave] Goodbye ED!
/u/sellie41434 [5'1" | CW: 132| BMI 24.9 | CGW: 120 | 16F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 06:22:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9xfy/goodbye_ed/
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Y'all, I've been vegan for 8 days now and omg!! I think it's gotten rid of my ED! I'm working hard to head three normal sized healthy meals a day and I haven't binged since Halloween! I'm loosing weight in a normal healthy way too! I can't tell anyone else in my life about this bc obviously nobody knew about my ED, but omg I'm so proud of myself! Aaa!! I'm really tempted to go back to restricting but I will resist that temptation and be healthy!! Lowkey I miss my ED, which is kinda worrying, but I'm just gonna ignore that and focus on recovering! I hope y'all are having a good day today, remember to stay hydrated and take your vitamins! 💖💖💖
I’m almost back where I started, thank goodness
/u/dootdootoops
Created: Thu Nov 8 06:00:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9rxb/im_almost_back_where_i_started_thank_goodness/
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I got down to 119, and ended up at 130 (right at overweight for me). I was at 123, then 125, so I thought I was going to keep gaining again.
Today I’m at 122.2. My original GW was 115, so I didn’t get discouraged if I didn’t get there as quick as I wanted. So glad I’m back where I was. I can’t wait until this stomach fat goes away.
[Goal] One week binge free!!!
/u/okbunnie
Created: Thu Nov 8 05:55:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9qn4/one_week_binge_free/
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Ugh, you guys!! It feels great. :o) Cravings are SOOO hard to beat, especially me being on pms and at the time of the month, but even just a week with no binge I feel so in control and free. 💖 It’s made my weight loss so much faster and that’s what’s stopping me from even wanting to binge. I couldn’t imagine doing it at this point lmao I’m so happy.
Being a trans man is a special kind of hell.
/u/mamdonfpd7
Created: Thu Nov 8 05:48:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9oy7/being_a_trans_man_is_a_special_kind_of_hell/
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Good morning everyone, it’s 4:30 AM over here and that means it’s time for earth-shattering revelations about all the Freudian bullshit that goes on in my head.
Like the title implies, I’m trans. But I’m also only ‘out’ to a couple of people, so I still present as female 24/7. Since the world only sees me as female, I always feel pressured to conform to feminine beauty standards. I can’t stop thinking about how when my mother was my age, she was 5’8” and her waist was 21 inches. But to get myself to that point, I have to starve until I can count my ribs and my breasts and butt are practically concave. And no matter how thin I am, my face is always round with baby fat.
And then on the other hand, why do I care about having an hourglass figure? I don’t even want to be a girl! I don’t want to be thin and delicate, I want to be tall and strong. But I’m not. I’m 5’3” and 112 pounds. But I can never bring myself to eat or work out because the years of societal conditioning have left me so scared to be anything but thin and pretty.
I am so sick of being stuck in the middle and not even knowing what I want. No matter what I do, it’s not the right answer.
Sorry if it was all kind of jumbled, but thank you to anyone who’s read this far. I’ve been struggling to put into words why it makes me so upset, but I guess I just didn’t want to admit that I might struggle with disordered eating.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 8 05:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9g6a/weekly_emotional_support_november_08_2018/
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We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 08, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 8 05:09:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9g2r/daily_food_diary_november_08_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for November 08, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Does anyone else not trust their stats/measurements/etc?
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | 125lbs | 19.01 | -30lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 05:08:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9fu2/does_anyone_else_not_trust_their/
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So I whooshed today and I’m officially in the 8st range! Big relief because as you can tell from my last post I don’t usually do the whole plateau/whoosh thing I’m usually a consistent loser (lol) so I was really scared that I’d hit a wall.
Anyways, usually every time I’ve lost a few lbs and I’m home alone I’ll take some measurements, especially on my waist. This morning I did this after seeing that I whooshed and my waist was 25.5”????
Obviously normally I’d be thrilled but instead it just made me paranoid. I know what a 25” waist looks like and it is absolutely not mine lol. And at my height I shouldn’t be hitting a measurement like that until I’m, like, below the 120s. It would make sense if I was storing the weight somewhere else but I have no muscle mass, narrow af hips (apparently god decided I don’t need a pelvis lol) and I do have kind of a big rib cage but I have tiny boobs so it balances out lmao. So now I just feel like there’s something wrong with the tape and I can’t really trust measurements anymore.
I get the same thing with my weight too. Like, really? I’m close to underweight and I look like this?
Does anyone else feel like this?
I confessed to my fiance that I started purging recently it went better than expected.i don't know how I would get thru this mess without him
/u/Poopsmasherthrowaway
Created: Thu Nov 8 05:07:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9fsi/i_confessed_to_my_fiance_that_i_started_purging/
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http://imgur.com/gallery/OP9UaBY
[Other] Whaaat???
/u/EatMyInsides
Created: Thu Nov 8 04:59:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v9dt9/whaaat/
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I had an apple and two medium sized carrots for lunch at work. Ate it kinda slowly. I feel sooo full!! It's nice. I'm just surprised.
Sorry. Just wanted to share with people who will understand.
[Help] Leg cramp
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Thu Nov 8 04:23:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v96nm/leg_cramp/
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So last night I woke up to a lot of pain in my calf muscle.
It was definitely a cramp and it hurt like crazy and took a while to go away. It still hurt after so I massaged it a bit.
But like WTF??? I've never experienced a cramp before, why did that happen out of the blue? :(
Has this happened to anyone else?
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend keeps telling me I'm tiny
/u/wristsPlz
Created: Thu Nov 8 03:55:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v914b/boyfriend_keeps_telling_me_im_tiny/
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And even though I know it's not true I fucking love it. For reference, there's a big height difference between us and I'm around 6 inches taller than him. So i know I'll never really be tiny, or even small, to him. And I know that he knows "you're so tiny" is exactly what I want to hear. But god, it gives me such a happy rush when he says it anyway. And it spurs me on. Because imagine how much smaller I could be when I'm thin. God. I just want to be the size of a little fairy
[Help] Max calories per day ?
/u/jackinjones
Created: Thu Nov 8 03:51:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v90hm/max_calories_per_day/
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Hi, I just wanted to know how many calories do you eat per day, because I read a post of a girl saying she reached 500kcal which I suppose it's her maximum, I used to eat the same amount but I was wondering if I should maybe upgrade it to 800 since the restriction has got me binge eating a lot lately... any advice?
[Rant/Rave] Nurse making unecessary comments
/u/aparine [172 cm | 53,7 kg | 18,15 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 03:29:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8wdg/nurse_making_unecessary_comments/
---
The nurse who does my weigh-ins always manages to say smth like "you're so tiny" or "oh how thin" (when checking my pulse on my wrist)... like you're not helping.....
What do you do for a living?
/u/PetTaxAssessor
Created: Thu Nov 8 03:05:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8s1e/what_do_you_do_for_a_living/
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I work in the art department of a print shop. How about you guys? What do you like/not like about it?
Don't ya hate
/u/Willow2653
Created: Thu Nov 8 02:46:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8oxc/dont_ya_hate/
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A mid purge interruption. Like seriously, I had a good thing going and it was all coming up until you asked me through the door if I was ok.
I said I'm fine, I just had too much to drink. A blatant lie that you'll believe.
Why wouldn't you? You love me. And I'm just a big failure. I don't deserve love, I definitely don't love myself.
This is just a drunk rant. Sorry :(
[Help] How do I get my period back?
/u/harambelol
Created: Thu Nov 8 02:42:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8o5g/how_do_i_get_my_period_back/
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So I'm 16 and have a bmi of 17.5ish. Around 4 months ago, I lost my period. I know it's just 4 cycles, but my mum is threatening to bring me to a doctor unless if i get my period again by the end of this month.
The problem is, I've lost around 60 lbs in a year. The doctor will definitely notice since they would have records of my previous weigh-ins. I would most probably be diagnosed with anorexia and sent off for treatment. Currently, I am neither in the right state of mind nor the right frame of time in my life for treatment.
Is there any way to regain my period without gaining a massive amount of weight? I've actually managed to gain 6 lbs because I ended up binging when I attempted "recovery" by ""intuitive eating"" :-( Is this enough weight to get my period back?
[Help] What constitutes a fast in your opinion?
/u/Doctordoomduck
Created: Thu Nov 8 02:33:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8mgl/what_constitutes_a_fast_in_your_opinion/
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Is it no consuming any food or drink, is water okay, is coffee okay? What about milk or other drinks that have calories? Are there any foods that are allowed?
[Rant/Rave] I got extremely sick in school and got fed fcken bread then my mom just destroyed my feelings because she got mad at me for being sick
/u/krystallze
Created: Thu Nov 8 01:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8g6p/i_got_extremely_sick_in_school_and_got_fed_fcken/
---
So i have extremely high blood pressure and i take medicine for it but there was no more left and because of my anxiety i didnt want to go to the doctors office to get prescripted again. (Its because we were talking about mental health and my drug abuse previously and i just didnt want to be asked again about that you know).
So i havent been taking my medicine for a week or so and this morning in my first class i started freezing and i couldnt stop shaking but it was like really crazy and uncomfortable (PLUS yesterday i had a panic attack and i was scared that it will happen again). So i got out of the class and got my blood pressure checked and they legit wanted to call an ambulance on me. Im over 18 so i told them to please just call my mom or im going home alone rather than get put into the hospital. Waiting for my mom theteachers gave me bread with butter but i just cant care less about it after what happened
So my mom came and she was sooooo furious and started shouting at me in the car about how could i forget it, i never do anything, she has work to do and then she started saying very mean stuff like im such a little bitch and "ooooh so you have depression again?? what mental health issue do you have now??" like in a very mean disdainful way and i broke down crying and she still kept shouting and now im at home (shes at work and my stepdad is here at home with me) but i feel so ashamed i cant even go out in the living room for tissue to blow my nose in
Please tell me something nice or that im not alone i love you
[Rant/Rave] The frustration of waiting for the Whoosh
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Thu Nov 8 01:42:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8dw7/the_frustration_of_waiting_for_the_whoosh/
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Fucking hell, restricting every day below 1,000, usually hovering around 800. Not going to bed just hungry, but actually *nauseous* from hunger. Not even a high carb binge on Saturday did the trick. No, I'm either plateau-ing or losing like 100 grams in a day.
DAE just get super excited to step on the scale in the morning only to be super disappointed afterwards? Like, holy shit, I just want to throw that thing out of the window out of frustration!
I *know* the whoosh is waiting to happen; I'm retaining water like crazy, I'm bloated and my thighs look massive and that magical event *must* be hiding somewhere in there, but it's just so frustrating to wait for it! 😤
[Discussion] I didn’t even realise how obsessed I was with my weight until no weigh November
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Thu Nov 8 01:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8cb8/i_didnt_even_realise_how_obsessed_i_was_with_my/
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Before I started no weigh November (congrats to everyone still going strong!!!) I thought it would be so easy. I wasn’t obsessed with my weight anyway, I thought I only really cared about how my body looked.
In fact I don’t even obsess over numbers in general, as long as I know I’ve had a good day or a bad day calorie wise I don’t care much for the exact numbers.
But GOD this is so hard. I nearly cried on the bus thinking about how much I must have gained and wondering if weighing myself on someone else’s scales it counts as I won’t trust what it says anyway. It’s definitely making me restrict better. Roll on a 3 day fast I guess..
[Discussion] Costa? Starbucks?
/u/xyd001
Created: Thu Nov 8 01:13:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v88ul/costa_starbucks/
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Hey just wanted to know what everyone’s go to drinks are from Costa or Starbucks?
In the pits of my ed I’ll order nothing but straight black coffee out of fear of everything else but I would love to try something new for once.
[Other] it’s my birthday
/u/katrinapls
Created: Thu Nov 8 01:01:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v86q2/its_my_birthday/
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this is my first post here, I’ve been a long time lurker but always too afraid to post
I promised myself I’d be at my gw for my birthday but I fucked it up. :( I feel so lonely and I’m especially reminded of it today because no one ever remembers my birthday and I don’t have many friends and it all just hurts a bit much today.
sorry for the ramble I just needed to get this off my chest
[Rant/Rave] nothing like a bug in your food
/u/vvccvv [5'5 / currently beached / f]
Created: Thu Nov 8 00:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v8406/nothing_like_a_bug_in_your_food/
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to really kill the little appetite you had to begin with.
it was so gross and caused me to purge for the first time in 10 years bc i can’t even vomit over gross shit and i couldn’t stop thinking about a bUG in my stomach!! 😭
I feel like a failure [CW b/p and Language]
/u/vixwd [175cm | CW 82kg |GW 65kg | Lost -1.3kg | 30F]
Created: Thu Nov 8 00:40:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v82th/i_feel_like_a_failure_cw_bp_and_language/
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I've been doing do well with keeping away from food, purging after binges. Not binging too hard. But this last week, I went full uggo. I ate an entire bag of candy! Like, a huge bag of like 100 pieces, and a huge sub. I also drank a sugary tea! I can't get it to come up, and I feel like I'm going to burst. I feel like I'm going to weight a bajillion Kgs now too! I'm in bed, crying, trying to sleep. Why can't I just never eat, and be pretty. I see so many pretty and cute women and I'm here with hair falling out all over and this bloated stress ball of a body...
[Rant/Rave] When you “try to eat normal” because you have a doctors appointment tomorrow
/u/sadboyofearth
Created: Thu Nov 8 00:32:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v81d7/when_you_try_to_eat_normal_because_you_have_a/
---
Today started off well I didn’t eat breakfast like all the time but at work in the cafeteria they had single pizzas. Which are my absolute favorite thing they make. They do vegan veggie ones and they are really yummy and I justified it to myself in my head as “okay well I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow I should eat more normal for a day and have two meals so I can claim I’m healthy and fine.” So I had the pizza and a little side of soup cause nobody at my work gets “just” the pizza. Not even that mad about it but it did use up all of my calories for the day. Then I went home and I somehow ended up suggesting we get freakin burritos for dinner and hot chocolate. Like what the heck. I could have gotten away with not eating dinner even but I decided to eat a huge calorie loaded and ambiguous burrito and drink additional calories! God I was so mad at myself. SO I purged. But then I was hungry again and the whole “let’s try to be healthy cause doctors appointment” came back so I figured I would replace those calories and eat even more. So I ate three freaking cookies. They weren’t even small cookies they were really big. And I binged on a few other things as well because let’s face it after the first cookie I knew I would be purging. So then I purged again in the same night because I have no self control. Now my stomach is supper messed up and acidic and I’m trying to drink a bunch of water because I went in for bloodwork a week ago and was dehydrated so I figure it would be better to not be dehydrated again but purging makes you dehydrated. It’s just so dumb though. Like if I waited til after work to eat like I planned I would have just had one meal and the calories even if they were high I could have managed enough not to purge.
[Help] Can purging affect your skin?
/u/cattivity
Created: Wed Nov 7 23:27:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v7o9t/can_purging_affect_your_skin/
---
I had a huge b/p session yesterday and normally I don't purge but today my skin feels really flakey and dry which isn't normal.
Could it be a result of purging or more likely my body chemistry being totally fucked from:
Restricting, binging, and b/p?
[Rant/Rave] I hate food
/u/cattivity
Created: Wed Nov 7 23:25:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v7nx2/i_hate_food/
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Well. Went to the store and got some groceries. I bought some lowcal ice cream because I decided I would be kind to myself since a pint could fit into my daily calorie goal. Then I went for the second pint. Big mistake. Added a protein bar onto that because "fuck it I've already ruined the day I might as well get something out of it instead of sitting with the guilt" and then this spiraled into a full on binge complete with hot dog buns + peanut butter (god damn it), more protein bars, and strawberry wafer cookies. I purged a good amount of this and popped some laxatives. I'm so mad at myself.
I can pin point the moment this all went wrong.
I had gone 6-8 months not binging once. Sure there were days I went a little over my calorie goal, but never this bad. This month of terrible binging started probably a month ago when my boyfriend urged me to eat junk food with him, because I'd been so good for so long. So sure, why not? The day after I got on track. Thought everything would be okay. Come next week and I restricted too low at work and broke down in the break room and binged like crazy. It's been a cycle of restricting and binging ever since.
I hate this so much. The worst part is that I'm not even mad about my purging I'm upset because I don't think I got all the food up and I really don't want to gain!
I hate myself so much.
[Rant/Rave] Tried to recover by doing intuitive eating
/u/tinygrl22 [5'1 | CW: 107lbs | 20.2 | 19F |]
Created: Wed Nov 7 23:07:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v7jw9/tried_to_recover_by_doing_intuitive_eating/
---
And I gained 10 fucking pounds I guess its time to start counting calories again and restricting
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I just use my ED as a valid excuse??
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:39:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v7dw5/why_cant_i_just_use_my_ed_as_a_valid_excuse/
---
So business dinners are a thing. My work has business dinners about once a month and every time I have to come up with a new excuse for why I'm not there. I work across two departments, which both have these dinners. The dinners often overlap, so I usually say I'm going to the other one and skip both. Anyway, I overheard my boss talking about confronting the other department about always stealing me for these dinners. And I'm quietly freaking out because if they talk about this I'll be in trouble for lying to both departments. I feel horribly guilty for lying and I'm terrified they'll find out.
But here's the thing: I shouldn't HAVE to lie! My ED is a mental illness that makes it extremely difficult or impossible to take part in frequent public meals. I just don't have it in me. And yet, if I were to publicly state this as my reason for not going, I would be torn apart and get all kinds of 'caring' attention that I also can't handle. I'm so on edge about the departments communicating. I wish people could just respect my decision to not attend the dinners. I wish they didn't ask questions. I hate this and it's stressing me out so bad.
So confused on how to get a good body :(
/u/babybreathheart
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:35:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v7d2y/so_confused_on_how_to_get_a_good_body/
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I'm in a healthy BMI range even though I'd prefer to be around the 18.0 range. However I still have a lot of excess fat. I usually restrict to about 1000-1200 kcals a day and my weight goes down but my actually body shape doesn't really change. Even at my lowest weight of 98 I still have a pudge tum and flabby thighs. I think that maybe gaining more muscle would help? However they say that the best way to lose fat is at a deficet and the best way to build muscle is at a surplus? So it's kind of contradictory. I'm not sure if I should just keep losing more weight or try to build muscle mass instead.
People also suggest body recomp but I've also heard body recomp isn't actually possible. Does anyone have any advice? 😣
This is my body now
http://tinypic.com/r/fm01hv/9
When you gain 5lbs of fat from four days of binging :(
/u/edthrowaway125 [5'10" | 125lbs | 17.9 | 24F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:33:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v7cet/when_you_gain_5lbs_of_fat_from_four_days_of/
---
Sugary foods are such a binge trigger for me. I ate one of those protein cliff bars last Thursday and that spiralled into:
Thursday night: giant bag of chocolate covered raisins, 12 chocolate oatmeal cookies
Friday: fried chicken sandwich + potato wedges, bag of Halloween candy, snack cakes, sweet chili heat Doritos, peanut butter M&M's, honey Dijon kettle chips, box of vegan mac and cheese with bread
Saturday: fried chicken + moreeeee potato wedges, more chocolate covered raisins, cheese pretzel snacks, entire box of those sugar cookies with the overly sweet frosting from Walmart and fried banana chips
Sunday: 2 rolls of veggie sushi, even more chocolate covered raisins (lol), giant piece of carrot cake, bread + spinach dip & 2 slices of pizza
I think I got rid of all of my water weight as of this morning and I'm up 5 lbs. :( Why am I like this ugh someone please make me feel better!
[Other] literally just had the most triggering dream ever
/u/riverofbrokensouls
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:32:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v7c89/literally_just_had_the_most_triggering_dream_ever/
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if the title wasn't clear enough, this is a dream i had.
so in this weird dream fantasy world there's like this exclusive spa. very exclusive, and it is very expensive to buy a membership for this spa. i had been saving for years to get into this spa. when i showed up for the first time, the lady at the front desk smiled far too sweetly, and after learning it was my first time here, she offered to show me around.
as she led me through the spa, it was everything I could've dreamed of (literally, lol). petite, thin, perfect ladies getting massages. ladys with the most perfect bodies getting their nails done, getting face masks. huge, gorgeous showers that bare women would bathe in, without shame, because they knew just how perfecf they were. it was paradise.
but the lady i was following led me onwards, until we reached an ominous looking door. she smiled once again, and forced me inside. the room was dark and moldy, a stark contrast to the pristine spa outside. there were two, maybe three, old shower heards covered in mold and lime, with rusted handles. the room was full of morbidly obese men and women. they looked hideous, malformed, and far too big to actually have been real people. they looked exactly the way i'm terrified that I will end up.
when i asked to go back to the spa, the lady laughed. she said that this was the room where "people like me" belonged.
-
so yeah, that was my fun dream.
[Rant/Rave] If I set a caloric limit, I subconsciously feel the need to undercut it
/u/Tsuyu_irl [5'2" | cw:124lbs | gw: 105 |F22]
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:18:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v793v/if_i_set_a_caloric_limit_i_subconsciously_feel/
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It started out as 1200.. then I thought if I only ate 800 I'd lose hella weight. Now i get anxious and guilty if I eat over 500-600.
Is anyone else like this? I calm myself down by saying to myself "well my body burns 1200 cals naturally I can have like 200more cals" but I can't rid myself of the guilt afterwards. Especially if it's filling and since apparently now that my body can't purge anymore???
Just had this conversation with my friend
/u/ShoopDaWhoopBurrito [4'11'' F | CW: 105 | GW: 95]
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:14:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v789j/just_had_this_conversation_with_my_friend/
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After looking at Snaps from my friend of his dog.
Me: Your dog looks bigger than me.
Him: He’s about 90lbs.
When you’re so sick in the head that you’re jealous of a dog’s weight. 😢
I ate 3,000 calories today.
/u/MonotheisticScup
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:12:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v77oc/i_ate_3000_calories_today/
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Couldn’t purge any of it, it was basically all bread. It was probably more than 3,000, honestly. I want to fucking die.
[Discussion] Does anyone else not count calories and just eats less food in general?
/u/dissolvinglipids
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v775l/does_anyone_else_not_count_calories_and_just_eats/
---
I don't like counting calories and I don't think it works all that well for me because I suck at keeping track of things.
I feel like the constant tracking makes me think of food more, which leads me to feel hungrier more often, which then turns into me binging because I can't deal with the stress of it all because I am an anxious person and that just comes with the territory.
I find simply eating less volume of food throughout the day works better personally. I really enjoy feeling empty and since I'm not tracking anything, I often forget to eat because I'm so busy with the rest of my life. I have no idea what range of calories I'm getting in each day, I just know I eat very little and that works for me. When I do eat, I usually will order take out from random places and just eat small portions of it that I spread out over a few days. I get to satisfy whatever craving I have at the moment but since I eat so little of it and have no idea how many calories are in it, I don't feel any guilt about it.
Eventually I'd like to stop eating so shitty but for now it works. Can anyone relate?
[Other] Anyone have any advice for back pain, other than painkillers etc?
/u/crydontsmile
Created: Wed Nov 7 22:00:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v74wk/anyone_have_any_advice_for_back_pain_other_than/
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It’s much more recently that it’s been severe, but has always happened during restricting, but my back (especially the lower back) always seems to ache. I moved from where I was sitting just before, and immediately got bad pain right at the base of my spine. Is this because of all the sit-ups/crunches I’m doing? Is there a lack of cushioning due to lost weight? How do I stop it hurting so much? Any advice is appreciated!
[Discussion] That weird grey area between attraction and jealousy/resentment
/u/llanowho [5'4 | CW 167 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:52:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v73at/that_weird_grey_area_between_attraction_and/
---
There’s this girl in one of my night classes who is honestly so beautiful. I find myself sneaking glances at her and just being star struck. If I’m being honest, I’m thirsty as fuck. But as soon as that feeling fades jealousy comes in. She’s thin/petite and feminine and looks like the stereotypical “beautiful exotic mixed girl” whereas Im a fat, boyish, plain looking mixed girl. Looking at her is enough to make me want to fast for weeks. There’s this guy who she sits next to in class and they have obvious chemistry. On one hand I’m jealous of how he’s the one who makes her laugh and blush. But on the other I’m jealous of how she can just flip her hair and the guy is scrambling to talk to her. I just want a girl to like me as much as how the guy likes this girl but obviously that’ll never happen, so now I leave class both bitter and horny after seeing her.
has anyone else ever had similar conflicted feelings?
I’ve only eaten Halo Top for the past four days AMA
/u/elle_pitch [5’8 | CW: 126? | 18.6 | HW: 150 | 22f]
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:46:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v71y9/ive_only_eaten_halo_top_for_the_past_four_days_ama/
---
I never ever give diet advice.
/u/cantdecidewhatiwant [Height 5'4" | CW 132| F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:44:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v71fc/i_never_ever_give_diet_advice/
---
Someone looked at my license today and they noticed that I lost weight(50 lbs) they are big, not morbidly but nearing it.
They got really interested in how I did it. I told them I started running and that's true but I never mentioned calories because I really don't want them to get this disorder. I want them to enjoy food like I no longer can.
[Rant/Rave] just came home from the most triggering date ever
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:41:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v70n6/just_came_home_from_the_most_triggering_date_ever/
---
so I fucked up, got a bit drunk, told the guy I’m seeing but don’t really like something about my parents, one thing lead to another, I’m casually spilling the tea on my ED. Oh yeah didn’t eat today; oh no I’m not kidding when I’m worried about being fat-I have no idea what I look like most of the time:))
but I don’t know if he like really got it because I think for most people BDs are like - not real? I’ve told him I seriously wonder if I’m fat or not almost everyday and he just was like “that’s super weird lol”
But then he told me AGAIN about how he put on twenty pounds after not smoking and I was a bit drunk and annoyed at myself for over sharing so I’ve gave him the facts on that. That your metabolism doesn’t change that much, that it’s not possible to just automatically gain weight (He said he replaced smoking with HEALTHY food though, like cereal bars and I told him those are each around 200-300 calories and he told me it’s stupid to count things under 500 calories....what.....????)
Obviously I knew too much about protein and calories and metabolisms for a sane person but maybe he doesn’t connect it to eating disorders????? Idk
Whatever, the first time we hung out he asked me about my weight and I’ve told him my first gw that I really thought I was currently at (didn’t weigh myself for a few weeks, spoilers: not at that weight right now:)) but now that I’ve been in the scale again I know it’s not true. But while we were walking home he looked at me and said I don’t look like that weight, but skinnier and that I should step on his scale once we were at his place because he thinks mine is wrong or something. And he told me he’s usually great at guessing peoples weight (obviously he’s not though, he was off by four kilos which is quite a lot for someone my height). Needless to say I did NOT step on that scale.
Okay, next part. We were lying on his couch, he had one arm around me and the other one on my stomach and grazing his fingers and suddenly stopped, kinda squeezed my rib and asked me if that was one of my ribs. I was like yeah and he said “oh...okay..” and touched it a bit more. On one hand I was so happy about my ribs sticking out enough to be noticed under two layers of clothing, on the other hand... please don’t Bodycheck me I am the only one who’s allowed???
Then he has this weird obsession with my arms. Like, my wrists mostly. He touches them and it’s like he’s almost measuring, he always tells me how they’re so tiny and I know it’s positive probably but it triggers me so hard. Today he also started to GRAB MY LEGS AND CUP THEM WITH HIS HANDS
I full on jumped up from the couch
Then later when I was leaving he made a comment about how short I am again, telling me everything about me is so tiny except my boobs, they’d be so big. I just looked at him, and he managed to say even more shit “they look even bigger in contrast to your tiny body”
I think I really have to end it. I don’t even like him. He’s the most boring person ever, we don’t fit together at all, he has a crush on me and hopes by not sleeping with me right away I start to like him and he can “tame” me I guess but it’s never gonna happen, especially not now that he made so many comments about my body that I won’t ever be able to undress in front of him
I’m just going back to him because it upsets me so much to hear someone talk about my body but I also really need it?? And sometimes there are rare moments where he makes me feel small??
Also I’ve been on the scale right now and between now and before I went to meet him (8 hours ago) I’ve lost almost a pound...it’s probably dehydration but I wanted to end this mess on a positive note
[Rant/Rave] dress codes make me salty, here's why
/u/riverofbrokensouls
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:36:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6zj5/dress_codes_make_me_salty_heres_why/
---
my school probably had tge most relaxed dress code you've ever seen. literally. girls have shown up in booty shorts and tube tops, and admin is fine with it. i'm actually super glad that my school has seemed to realise just how oppresive dress codes are. the typical no gang signs, swears on clothes, or god forbid you wear a hat, but other wise you're basically good to go!
unless of course, you carry some extra weight.
a girl in my math class is very big. however, she likes to wear short shorts, and tank tops, and honestly im so glad for her! the confidence she has in her body is amazing, and i wish i had half as much confidence to be who i am and wear what i want no matter what i weigh, but alas that is not the case.
anyways, she's wearing some jeans and a tank top. she has a very large chest, so you cpuld see a bit or her bra, and a bit of cleavage. WELL APPARENTLY, you're not allowed to be chubby and wear tank tops, only skinny. almost immediately she was told she had to "cover up" her chest and skin.
there were literally girls that day who wore a tube top, no bra, booty shorts (and im not saying they're bad for doing so. if thats what they wanna wear, rock on!), but you could see a lot more skin on this girl because she's bigger, she has to cover her disgusging chubby body :))))))
i felt so bad for her. she's a super sweet girl, and she didn't deserve to be treated like that.
[Rant/Rave] i’m so upset
/u/vctrlcs [5'7" | CW: 128 | BMI: 19.9 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6yfv/im_so_upset/
---
so i got laid off today. and i’ve contacted my (now former) boss about a different position that became available but he hasn’t responded and it’s been like 10 hours.
i’m also way fucking behind in my classes and college apps BECAUSE i was dedicating so much time to my job but apparently i wasn’t good enough for my boss to like me and/or rehire me...
i just feel like such a failure and like i’m bad at my job; and on top of it all i can’t stop eating. i feel like if i start restricting / eating “clean” then everything will work out and i’ll succeed at something.
i have another job lined up just in case but it’s only tangentially related to my field and it’s far from my first choice. i just want to be able to do something right for once.
/rant; thx for reading, im drunk and tired and sad and just needed to type this out. love u guys
School counsellor wants to take me t an eating disorder specialist and I’m freaking out
/u/malxee
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:27:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6xdj/school_counsellor_wants_to_take_me_t_an_eating/
---
I’ve never seen any professionals for my eating disorder, I’ve been doing this for 3 years and I’ve never seen anyone. I’m scared of the judgment and I’m just really scared. I feel so fake and I feel like I’ll get judged for not being skinny and I just I can’t deal with it I’m really stressed and anxious. She said they’ll diagnose me most probably so they’re going to be weighing me and I’m freaking the heck out.
How do you deal with this?
My counsellor says I don’t have to go if I’m not comfortable, she just wants me to get a diagnosis so things are clearer and so she could take other steps.. and a part of me wants to go to see if I do actually have an eating disorder, more to feel validated tbh, but the other part of me doesn’t want to go and just wants to continue to starve until I’m skinny enough to go back and I just
[Tip] Tony Robbins-style post on EDs.
/u/IAmAnorexic
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6wxp/tony_robbinsstyle_post_on_eds/
---
Your MIND plays a starring role in where you are in your ED right now. Let me explain because this is not some recovery/therapy/preachy post.
​
First, STOP IT with the "fuck it" "I'll start tomorrow" mentality. Chances are, you won't. The more bad choices you make, the more wired your brain is to keep making that mistake. Instead of saying fuck it, diet starts tomorrow, put the binge food down. Don't eat that whole can or bag or whatever. Fuck THAT. Fuck regretting THAT later.
​
Second, forget what you ate before this moment. Use your energy to focus on the days, weeks, and months ahead of you. Say you start meeting your calorie goal now. Can't undo a binge, but can restrict. The results WILL come, EVEN if you've been binge eating for days.
​
Third, constantly daydream about looking in the mirror at your dream body. Imagine how it feels to brush your fingers along your flat stomach or whatever you get off on. Imagine taking selfies in cute bras and short shorts. Keep thinking of that person-- close your eyes and make her who you are today.
​
Fourth, reduce your calorie goal to a level that challenges you a little more than you want to be challenged. A few hundred more. Track this, but you all know that we tend to accidentally not enter a lot. Essentially, stay in your calorie goal by creating a margin for error.
​
Finally, don't weigh yourself every day if you're up in weight. It will just make you feel like shit, which you don't want right now. You want to feel like you're got this, your GW is easily yours, and your body will get there FOR sure.
​
[Help] I don't want to purge
/u/feelsomethinggg
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:21:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6vs1/i_dont_want_to_purge/
---
Ive been doing SO GOOD. Restricting <500cals every day for 2 weeks.
I've lost almost 10 pounds and I've been almost euphoric.
Tonight I caved.
I ruined it by getting a latte this morning with milk
Then a single beer after work
AND THEN IT ALL CRASHED DOWN
I binged on safe foods and still less than 1000 calories
But God I feel so guilty.
I don't want to purge. But I feel like I NEED TO.
IT'S THIS NAGGING URGE THAT WON'T QUIT.
How do you guys stop the urge to purge ????
[Rant/Rave] Terrified by All the Choices.
/u/nymphlotus
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:20:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6vo1/terrified_by_all_the_choices/
---
I don't want to eat 1200 calories because what if that doesn't make me lose? Or what if I lose too slowly?
But I also get scared when I think of eating less than that. Yeah I'll lose weight, but what if I can never eat 1200+ again because my body gets used to like half that a day and I gain if I ever try to go up?
And it's the same with exercise. I love weight lifting and I want to get lean muscle, but really defined. But what if somehow lifting makes me gain fat instead of muscle? Like what if my body holds onto all the fat to feed the muscle or the muscle gets bulky under the fat and I just look worse? But I don't want to do just cardio and loss the muscle I have worked on
The fear of everything having a bad outcome stops me from doing anything ever.
Cured?????
/u/cutetinytroll
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:19:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6vfy/cured/
---
As insane as this sounds I went and saw a “soul healer” she told me I had a demon attached to me that was causing my ed... wtf right??? Well anywho she told me I had to cut all ties with this demon and end the contract that I had with it. She then told me if I agreed to have this demon leave me. I said sure and since then (Friday)... I haven’t purged. I went from purging every single day to not for 6 days. Not even any thoughts about it. Soooo crazy I know but I don’t know if it’s a placebo effect or WHAT... but I’m feeling pretty good.
[Rant/Rave] Even though im 10lbs lighter than i thought i feel horrible
/u/kombuchawizard
Created: Wed Nov 7 21:01:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6qw2/even_though_im_10lbs_lighter_than_i_thought_i/
---
This is potentially triggering
Ive never looked or felt so fat in my entire life. I wish i could just stop giving into my shit eating habits everytime and i wish i didnt feel like have to work out 24/7 even after a 2 hour workout that made me feel like death just because i ate 600 calories in a day. That number makes me want to puke. Im so ugly compared to all my friends and they all deny it but all they say when i try to talk about how i feel is "you have to eat!". I KNOW i have to eat but i wish i didnt have to think about that. Im so tired of being like this and i just want to die. And im not even like. Normal fat. Being fat isnt bad or ugly but i am literally disproportionate and my weight distribution is the worst and even if i lose weight ill only look slightly less weird. I hate my body and i just want to die.
[Rant/Rave] I ate an entire Quest bar today and I'm so proud of myself
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog [5'5" | CW: 112.8 | GW: 102 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:48:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6nli/i_ate_an_entire_quest_bar_today_and_im_so_proud/
---
Quest bars are delicious and terrifying and a major fear food. I went to my therapy appt, impulse bought one later at the store, ate it in the car. And didn't purge it when I got home. Holy shit.
​
Sorry, I know this is dumb. I'm just kinda proud and also kinda anxious and scared and am excited and didn't have anyone IRL to tell that would get it.
[Rant/Rave] intake tuesday
/u/sonofagun70124
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:44:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6mlm/intake_tuesday/
---
so I go in for ED intake on Tuesday. I'm scared cause I think ive been weighing myself in the wrong place in the house and I might weigh way more than I thought. I'm gonna wait for the medical scale to freak out fully lol
but idk. i promised someone very important to me that I would try, but I don't know if i can. as much as i dont want to lose them, I don't WANT to recover. I'm not ready. im not bad enough. im not thin enough.
i just dont think i can do this..
First time posting here
/u/klp1212
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6me7/first_time_posting_here/
---
I don't exactly know what to say but I know I need to connect to people that understand. I'm so depressed lately even though I have a lot of really good and exciting things going on in my life. I got prescribed to adderall 4 years ago (by a crooked doctor) to help suppress my appetite and it works but I think I'm going to far and I don't know what to do.
I'm starting to feel depressed all the time, anxious, physically ill because the adderal makes it hard or impossible to sleep.
Has anyone else used ADHD medicine to lose weight? Did you tolerance continue to increase making you take more and more?
[Rant/Rave] Just one more slightly messed up thought ♡
/u/michellenemangepas
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:38:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6l0u/just_one_more_slightly_messed_up_thought/
---
I love the idea that I eat as many calories in one week as some people eat in one day.
[Discussion] I think I fucked up by introducing my family to IF
/u/StressedCookie
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:36:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6kie/i_think_i_fucked_up_by_introducing_my_family_to_if/
---
One day, the reply "Don't worry, I did eat!" wasn't enough for the usual "Are you sure you've been eating?" question from my parents, so I told them "It's intermittent fasting".
My dad tried it and he was so impressed and now my mum too. I feel like I fucked up. I'm not exactly sure too if intermittent fasting is good, or maybe it's just because my intermittent fasting is not the "healthy way" so I'm not seeing it properly (because obviously they probably eat more than me)
I'm bothered by it because my mum was watching a video about it to know more and none of it seemed healthy. Not even OMAD. My parents are insecure, I mean- I learned from the best, but I don't want them to go into this road?
I know IF won't make them have bad eating habits but seeing them actively decline food bothers me a lot.
C&s
/u/PoemOfLifeItself [yes]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:33:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6jlx/cs/
---
Fuck I c&s’d earlier and I’m already excited and can’t wait for tomorrow so I can do it more. Fuck my life
[Discussion] welp, today is shit
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 131.2 lbs | -49 lbs | F22]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:30:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6ivc/welp_today_is_shit/
---
Got my car taken away from me. At almost 23 years old. Mom had to lock up all the liquor in the house because idiot me was gonna drink anything and everything I could get my hands on if she didn’t. Thankfully I buy alcohol free mouth wash.. at least I know myself well enough to do that. Boyfriend is worried sick about me. Honestly, he probably wants to dump my ass but is too scared to because of the fall out it would cause. Yeah, I know. Re-reading this is enough to make me want to kms :) I haven’t eaten food in 3 days, and all I want to do is keep taking body check pictures because of how thin I look. Guess I can just obsessively feel my collar and hip bones until I pass out tonight. Fuck life dude. It’s way too hard. Endrant.
[Rant/Rave] Panicking a bit
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:19:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6fvp/panicking_a_bit/
---
So today I weighed myself expecting 140 but got 135. Then I tried on pants at work and fit into a size 2. All amazing, right?
Yeah kinda, but it’s also terrifying.
I’ve gotten used to this way of life. Restricting, fasting, controlling. It’s my “thing” now. I’m suddenly freaked out that I could reach my ugw very soon and then I will have nothing to “work towards.”
I don’t have a full blown eating disorder, and I don’t have body dysmorphia at all, so honestly trying on clothes today, I felt fucking great about myself and thought I looked amazing haha. But then the fear is in the back of my mind — how will I control myself now? WHAT will I control now? How will I regulate my feelings if I can’t fast for as long or ECA stack? I’m not gonna binge, so the only other option...is to stop.
And stopping means I’d need another outlet. Something else to control, to help me control myself. And I don’t know what that is yet, and that scares me.
[Other] i hate myself
/u/1caru3 [5'1 | CW: 109 | UGW: 100 | F16]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6eas/i_hate_myself/
---
literally i wasn’t even that hungry so i was like “oh, i’ll just have one serving of rice for dinner!”
and i blacked out, and 30 minutes later i had demolished over 2000 calories. i hate myself so much ahdhahdja
i’m posting this to keep me from binging tomorrow to (idk i’ve tried everything, maybe ranting on the internet will help)
also, anyone else super binge-y around peanut butter? at one point i literally found myself eating peanut butter by itself. yikes.
[Rant/Rave] My dad died 7 years ago tomorrow.
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" |cw maintaining| 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:12:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6e49/my_dad_died_7_years_ago_tomorrow/
---
He’d be so ashamed of me and everything I’ve done in the last 7 years. I threw away the university scholarship and the future career he was so proud of. The relationship he gave his blessing to turned abusive and fell apart, and all I’ve done since is sleep around with men who don’t give a shit about me. I lie about everything in my life to hide how badly I’ve fucked it all up.
I can’t remember what his voice sounded like anymore. I have trouble picturing his face. And now I’ve even forgotten what day he died on and have had to look it up like a complete asshole.
I’m the worst daughter in the entire world.
[Help] Help me please
/u/3-months-to-45
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:11:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6dzq/help_me_please/
---
I've just been on the worst b/p thing in a while... I don't even know I just need someone who knows what's going on to talk to, even if it is some stranger on the internet, I'm sobbing rn and I feel so alone, can someone please talk to me?
Please recommend tortilla chip substitute that are NOT vegetables!!
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | HW: 160lbs | CW: 157 | GW: 115]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:09:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6d8w/please_recommend_tortilla_chip_substitute_that/
---
I'm insanely obsessed with salsa (specifically Tostitos' habanero) b/c its pretty low cal and the spicy makes me not eat so much at once. But like I can't just eat salsa w a spoon yknow I need like an edible salsa vehicle into my mouth, and chips in general are so high calorie it just fucks me up lol
Does anyone have any non-vegetable (e.g. slices of pepper) tortilla chip substitutions?? I'm just a picky eater I hate veggies lol
[Rant/Rave] The battle between wanting to eat like a normal human being, and wanting to just let this disease kill me is real.
/u/_idealixtic
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:06:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6cmb/the_battle_between_wanting_to_eat_like_a_normal/
---
I want it to be tomorrow so I can eat more
/u/Rosebug1717
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:01:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6b3h/i_want_it_to_be_tomorrow_so_i_can_eat_more/
---
Reached 500kcals today and it’s 8pm. I’m slowly waiting for tomorrow so I can eat more. Like ugh.
[Other] Not super ED related
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 20:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6att/not_super_ed_related/
---
Anybody else feeling suicidal right now I fucking can’t
[Tip] @ tropical smoothie, ordering w/ splenda basically cuts your calories in half
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v69w9/tropical_smoothie_ordering_w_splenda_basically/
---
https://i.redd.it/tg0bx0ryu0x11.jpg
I don’t even like food anymore
/u/enviose
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:52:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v68tv/i_dont_even_like_food_anymore/
---
Somewhere between BED and bulimia here. I guess the title kind of says it all. Today, even when I was hungry, eating didn’t feel good. It didn’t relieve anything. I just felt bad for eating, and then for some unknown reason just kept eating (I guess cause I already felt like shit?) until I felt that all too familiar regret (and pain).
And today was supposed to be a “back on track” day for me. God fucking dammit. Why can’t hating my body and hating food extend to not eating anything. Why can’t I be miserable and skinny instead of miserable and flabby.
Probably because I eat so much.
binging and purging at olive garden occurs too often
/u/imaginary_gerl
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:36:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v64g8/binging_and_purging_at_olive_garden_occurs_too/
---
it’s disgusting how much i eat and then throw up at this fuckin establishment lol
[Rant/Rave] Want to binge so bad but trying not to
/u/shamefulanon
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:36:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v648z/want_to_binge_so_bad_but_trying_not_to/
---
My biggest trigger for bingeing is getting upset or stressed. My SO is being a pos lately... he’s apparently in some “funk” and he’s treating me like shit. Being a bad dad to our kids. Etc, etc. I’ve been patient... now all of a sudden he thinks ignoring me & not coming home from work is an option?
I want to binge so bad. Earlier he hung up on me and I did good just chugging water, taking the kids to donstuff our of the house & chewing gum. I made dinner when we got back... waiting and waiting for him to come home. Now the kids don’t want to sleep so I can’t sleep... I haven’t had much help all week bc he’s been in some mood. I’m overwhelmed. Anxiety through the roof. Stressed about everything.
I want to binge so bad. I want to go in the kitchen and eat all of the Halloween candy my kids got (they are 1 and 2 so they don’t get the candy anyway).
My weight was finally back down to my happy weight after a weekend out of town. I’m so annoyed that his dumbass is making me want to binge. I wish I could just sleep instead :(
[Discussion] What was GOOD about your day?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:31:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v62w5/what_was_good_about_your_day/
---
I didn’t have the best day but I love hearing about other people’s good days... it puts me in a better mood :)
I’ll start: I actually really liked my outfit today and felt pretty comfortable in it
[Rant/Rave] My chest is what I hate the MOOST
/u/okbunnie
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v62k1/my_chest_is_what_i_hate_the_moost/
---
Ugh, how much do 36DD boobs weigh y’all?? 🤭🤭 I hate how they look with my oversized shirts and I hate that they totally make me weigh more. I always wear a sports bra because I hate having my boobs push out my shirts to just go straight and make me look super fat... :// anyone else have this insecurity??!!
[Discussion] Goals for people with forever potato body syndrome?
/u/catamongthecrows
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:29:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v62je/goals_for_people_with_forever_potato_body_syndrome/
---
I keep finding myself falling into these thinspo holes and staring at flat or super concave stomachs, tiny thighs, and I look at my old LW pics to see that even at 105 I still have a stomach pouch and saddle bags and a huge butt. I know those are things that I can only take down so far. Is anyone able to recommend someone a little more obtainable to stare at while I cry into my halo top? Not these beautiful wispy tall bodies that my 5'2 lumpy saggy body could kind of aspire for. I'm setting myself up for even more failure every time I look at body types I'll never have.
[Help] I'm a high restrictor thinking about eating >600 per day. Convince me otherwise?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW:123lbs | HW:160lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:26:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v61hm/im_a_high_restrictor_thinking_about_eating_600/
---
I try to eat between 800-1200 each day, but my progress has slowed and I know longer feel hungry on this amount. Hence why I want to go under 600 calories per day. I'm kinda worried about potential health problems, which is why I'm asking you guys who do low restriction what major drawbacks there are? What would you say to yourself before you started down this road so you would stop?
2 girls trying a&w beyond meat burgers
/u/jjjjjj92
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:20:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v6038/2_girls_trying_aw_beyond_meat_burgers/
---
[https://youtu.be/hztSFHSDkjw](https://youtu.be/hztSFHSDkjw)
Holy shit the gossip
/u/TotallyNotARadar [6'1" | CW:110 | GW:105 | BMI: 13.86 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:16:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5yw1/holy_shit_the_gossip/
---
My school environment has always seemed pretty tame. My class especially has always been pretty quiet however the level below is fucking CRUEL.
Nothing about me obviously but like overhearing a group of girls shitting on someone else with stuff like
>Veronica said today that after eating half a sandwich that she was stuffed. Like yeah right you’re stuffed, I know what you’re doing. And the other day she was like “I’m not feeling well so I’m just having water for lunch”. No way.
I’m usually the kind of person to yell at strangers (because I have a combination of giving lots of fucks and none at all) but this was one that just made me book it.
I’ve even seen on like some of our schools meme pages stuff like:
(Jealous boyfriend stock photo meme)
* (current girlfriend) eating like a normal person
* (boyfriend turned looking away) <full name of girl in a lower grade>
* (other girl) eating two grapes as a meal
Like what the fuck has happened, why are people so god damn mean. I’m glad I’m getting out of this place but at the same time it’s worrying me a ton because like there’s a chance some of this is happening behind my back too, let alone just how awful it is to everyone else
the worst fucking thing
/u/thrillofyourcharms
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:08:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5wm5/the_worst_fucking_thing/
---
all i fucking want is a flat stomach.
well, thats not true, i want a perfect body and i would change 200+ things about myself, but i really fucking want a flat stomach. but what sucks is that no matter what i do i will never have one.
i get ovarian cysts every month which means i get semi-painful, fluid filled sacs on my ovaries that make me gain weight and also make my lower abdominals be a bump compared to the rest of my stomach 🙄🙄🙄🙄 so no matter how much i restrict, how many workouts i do, ill always have that fucking bump on my tummy and weigh 5 lbs more than i should.
fuck that.
[Goal] My fluctuations over the past couple yrs... Well, I suppose it's evident about when I began a long-term relationship 🤦🏼♀️ For heaven's sake lmao....... I'm starting tf over.
/u/sparkle---motion
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:01:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5urm/my_fluctuations_over_the_past_couple_yrs_well_i/
---
https://i.redd.it/kmc1k317l0x11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Hmmph
/u/crystal_methmath
Created: Wed Nov 7 19:01:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5ul0/hmmph/
---
I had like 900 calories today. I was doing so well..100-200 per day.. I hate myself.
i wish i could isolate myself
/u/thrillofyourcharms
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:48:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5r4f/i_wish_i_could_isolate_myself/
---
i wish i could completely isolate myself from every other living person, not have to do any school work or have any commitments, and put all my focus into losing weight for just 6 months. thats all id need, is 6 months to get the perfect body.
but no.
[Discussion] 4chan positively surprised me
/u/Arkhamgel
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:38:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5o6g/4chan_positively_surprised_me/
---
https://i.redd.it/cx29ylmxg0x11.jpg
this is kinda bad but i restricted without thinking
/u/freakytreesprite [5'2'' | 158 | 29.0 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:33:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5mv3/this_is_kinda_bad_but_i_restricted_without/
---
I literally wasn't hungry after lunch, and i was at 700 kcal so I just got home from two glasses of wine and a shared cig with a couple friends and
i'm not hungry?
even though i've had under 1000 kcal? like what magic is this
ED with a career?
/u/Annielizabeth319
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:31:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5m61/ed_with_a_career/
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Recently relapsed with my ED. I’m 28 but developed an ED in my teens (officially diagnosed at 14). I’ve now struggled with this for half of my life. It sucks to have to write that out. I cycle through periods of recovery and relapse.
I didn’t even hit the 1 year mark for recovery before I relapsed again. Here I am...in the place I’ve been so many other times. Yet this is way worse than it’s been in years. My initial ED diagnosis was anorexia but my most recent relapses have been bulimia. I don’t know what this is. I alternate between 16:8 intermittent fasting and OMAD, aiming for 600-800 cals/day at most. I’m taking ECA stacks. I’m obsessed with getting the fat off my body that I gained in my period of recovery.
I’m a professional with a full-time career. I am also working towards a second degree and take 7 credits of classes in the evening after work. I have my own home that I have to clean and maintain. The stress of my job and responsibilities are killing me. I think the stress is why I relapsed. My ED is the only way I know how to gain control in my life.
I’ve been blowing through my comp, sick and vacation time at work because I’ve been a total wreck. I can’t afford to lose my job, it means so much to me. I work in HR yet can’t disclose my condition for fear of being looked down on and having my professional reputation affected. Although I love the work that I do my workplace is corrupt as hell. I don’t trust anyone enough to share my struggle with my ED.
It’s getting harder and harder to stay on top of my work and when I restrict, I get snappy. I feel like it’s affecting my level of professionalism. I can’t just up and quit but I can’t keep going like this. Yet the fucked up part is that I don’t want to get better, all I can think about is losing this weight. I feel like a failure among the other posters here with weights in the double and low triple digits. I hope to be back there by my 29th bday.
How do other people do this? I was promised a promotion soon and can’t even imagine dealing with a larger workload than I have now. I don’t know what the point of this post even is. I guess I’m looking for tips on how to not let my ED affect my career and work performance. If nothing else, thanks for letting me ramble. ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Cal-free Coffee
/u/6sixofspades66
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:26:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5kyh/calfree_coffee/
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A little crazy but today I have been freaking about the 10 calories that are in my cups of black coffee.
Today is my fast day and I feel like I can't truly fast if I drink my black coffee. I dont drink soda so diet coke is out of the question. Anyone else freak about this stupid amount of calories or any coffee brands that are 0 cals?
[Rant/Rave] a general PSA - to be read if you’ve ever suddenly gained 3 lbs overnight!!1!1!1!1!
/u/romeodendron
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:21:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5jm0/a_general_psa_to_be_read_if_youve_ever_suddenly/
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it’s water weight! Holy GOD it’s JUST WATER WEIGHT!
Jesus CHRIST come on guys and gals and enby pals it’s JUST water weight and YES you’ll lose it. Or it’s waste weight and you need a good dump- sorry to be crude.
**You can’t spontaneously gain 15 lbs eating 300 calories a day y’all.**
If you’ve had pickles or anything with a high salt or sodium content, it’s *water weight I swear to g o d*
And if you’re not losing it later? You’re miscounting your calories.
I literally see this come up in my feed multiple times a day and y’all - *come on* just ... deal. you can go one day without weighing yourself if you eat 34 pickle slices the day before ok you won’t die I promise you
[Rant/Rave] I hate myself and I want to binge
/u/littlesmol [5'5" | CW 156 | GW 90 | BMI 26 😭 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:15:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5hr3/i_hate_myself_and_i_want_to_binge/
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I never wanted to end up like my father but I guess I’m just like him because we both fucking hate me. I’m probably gonna end up binging just to fuck myself over because I don’t deserve to feel good about myself. I can’t wait until I can move out and not be around so many trigger foods and more importantly (and this is coming from someone who loathes trigger foods) not be around my fucking dickhead father anymore.
What up multitasking!
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [Goal: Recovery]
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:11:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5gqi/what_up_multitasking/
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Walking on the treadmill, drinking some coconut pineapple Sparkling ICE with triple sec and everclear, and watching some Guy Fieri bullshit on TV.
What are you fine ladies and gents up to this evening?
First time I didn’t binge in forever
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:10:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5gnc/first_time_i_didnt_binge_in_forever/
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Today I ate 1116 calories. Am I proud of it? No. But I didn’t binge and I’m pretty ecstatic. I’ve gained like 7 lbs over the past few months from binges and I’m ready to undo all the damage I’ve done. 110s here I come!
Experiences with OMAD and restriction?
/u/ifitmakesmehappy [5'5 | 125| -45| F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 18:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5fsm/experiences_with_omad_and_restriction/
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Hey guys, I’m hoping I could get some experiences/ tips on how to start doing OMAD.
I’ve been binging a lot recently, and it’s usually triggered by eating early in the morning.. once the floodgates open, it’s hard to stop thinking about food:(
How easy was it for you to transition, how many calories do you usually eat, and what kinds of meals do you make for your OMAD? Did it help curb your binging?
I am planning on doing an EC stack in the morning, sipping magnesium/ salt water throughout the day, and take my vitamins at night. OMAD would be at around 6-7pm.
Any help would be appreciated ❤️
[Discussion] Lexapro and weight gain?
/u/cookiecutterhands [5'5" | 113 | 18.8 | -43 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:57:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5cry/lexapro_and_weight_gain/
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Today, my OB's APN prescribed Lexapro for my depression. I told her that I have a phobia of medications designed to mess with the way you think but she wasnt comfortable letting me leave without at least saying I'd try it out for a few weeks. So my paranoid ass goes home and looks up all the side effects and whatnot, and the first one I read is weight gain. UH NO. Not happening. Plus, she completely disregarded the fact that I am bipolar and I also read that lexapro has the same effect on bipolar patients as sugar pills would, i.e. nothing. If I do end up having to take this, do you guys think I'll get a huge appetite and binge 24/7? What are your experiences? Kinda just wanna die atm.
Does anyone else wear exclusively black when they feel fat. I get to feel fake thin!
/u/AbjectRepresentative
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:54:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5bvd/does_anyone_else_wear_exclusively_black_when_they/
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Aka [always](https://imgur.com/a/TMMn8nl). I literally hate to show my bare skin and always wear black and heels to look taller and thinner. Unfortunately I'm a sick fat fuck with childbearing hips that won't relent, but black clothing helps. Also skinny jeans, black socks, etc. Still want to chop my hips off!
[Rant/Rave] Coworker made me feel cute
/u/spiderpockets
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:37:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v57c5/coworker_made_me_feel_cute/
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I usually order my work shirts pretty baggy, going for a XL when I'm technically a medium. I have pretty big boobies and so the shirts always go straight down and don't touch my stomach, which helps on gross days.
We were allowed to dress up on Halloween, and I was Beetlejuice, and I wore a black crop top under a striped jacket so you could sort of see my tum if I wasn't covering it. My coworker stopped me and told me I was "so much skinnier than she thought" and it 100% made my life, I'm still thinking about it a full week later 😭😭❤️
Side note, DAE feel like their boobs make people assume they're fat? Sometimes I wish I could make them smaller 😤
[Discussion] Is there any person who you would LOVE to see perform a mukbang?
/u/orthoreXXX [23F | 5’4” | cw 110.6 | gw 99 | bmi 19.4]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:37:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v5771/is_there_any_person_who_you_would_love_to_see/
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I personally would kill to see a few kpop stars to do a mukbang, eugenia cooney, and Angelina Jolie lol
I gained 2.5 pounds since yesterday, how?
/u/Dovahkiin14
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:30:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v553t/i_gained_25_pounds_since_yesterday_how/
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I've ate over my limit of 500 cal yesterday a little I think, I'm sure I couldn't have consumed 2.5lbs in one day though. What could have happened? I still ate under 1000 cals. I don't understand why this happened to me and I feel even more like shit now. Please help me out, explain why this happened. I even weighed myself several times to make sure and the number didn't change.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like work should burn more calories
/u/BacktoBlack24
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:30:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v54zm/i_feel_like_work_should_burn_more_calories/
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But I guess not??? I mean I’m on my feet all day walking all over my store.. wtf??? I chug water and run to the bathroom every 28 minutes what the hell body? BURN CALORIES damnit
[Discussion] What is your timeline for your UGW?
/u/JackFallsDown
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:26:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v53w8/what_is_your_timeline_for_your_ugw/
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My UGW is 100 and I'm trying my best to hit it a few days before my birthday on February 23rd! So that gives me 15 weeks to lose 21 pounds.
What about you guys? What're your goals and the time you want them accomplished by?
[Help] Does anyone get anxiety over estimated calories?
/u/sillymoonbin [5'4 | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:15:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v50wg/does_anyone_get_anxiety_over_estimated_calories/
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I know some of us overestimate our calories for various reasons, but it’s getting to the point where I’m overestimating them into numbers that result in me purging (I recently started purging :() For example: I will eat an apple of 95 calories, but convince myself it was no less than 300, and then get enough anxiety about having eaten 300 calories and I go purge it. It may not be a new thing for some of y’all, but I guess I wanted to just ask and maybe get some comfort ;;
[Help] Clothes feel so tight!!! Fuck you Recovery
/u/NeutralSmithHotel
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:08:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4ym5/clothes_feel_so_tight_fuck_you_recovery/
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Been doing recovery and I just FEEL so fucking fat today... my clothes all feel so tight, even my big ones. So I'm used to the body dysmorphia demons making my face and body look horrible, but can this actually make clothes feel tighter? My weight has been about the same for 3-4 weeks now, but today literally nothing fits. Does anyone else get this... is it just bloating? UGGG I want to restrict so badly.
Rough times=weight melting off
/u/pinks0ck_ [5'3 | CW: 113 | GW: 100 | 29 nonbinary]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:08:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4ykn/rough_timesweight_melting_off/
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But I don't even care. My boyfriend's mom just passed away suddenly, falling in the shower. Almost 1 year to the day of losing my best friend. Grief melts pounds off me, but honestly I don't give af. She was a prominent figure in the BBW community and always promoted body positivity. I really loved her, especially compared to my own mom who projected her eating disorder on me (and still does *eye roll*). IDK where I'm going with this but you are all so beautiful and please be safe and tell your people how much you love them.
[Discussion] Does romantic attention trigger you?
/u/whatxever [5'2 | 112 | 20.6 | -37 | 19F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:06:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4y3p/does_romantic_attention_trigger_you/
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So I'm not someone who is experienced sexually or romantically - a lot of it due to me not being interested to be fair. Long story short, I'm now in an environment where I'm exposed to a lot more of that aaaand there's this one guy who's apparently really into me. It hasn't progressed all the way or anything, but he has like seen me without a shirt on (GAG!!! really wish this part hadn't happened lol), seen me without makeup on, and become my first kiss (I feel like a child writing this lmao). At this point, when we're going on dates and he's holding my hand, I'm enjoying it/him although I'm still not really interested in a relationship but when we're not physically together everything about the situation triggers the FUCK out of me. My eating disorder, my BDD, my anxiety, my depression, etc. I've actually begun to just sit and stare into space contemplating if this is some kind of elaborate Carrie style prank because there's no fucking possible way for someone to be romantically or sexually attracted to me. Especially someone attractive with a good personality. At all. And this is not some bullshit romantic like Twilight "he's actually perfect & I'm inferior" thing. Even if he were unattractive and had a shit personality I'd feel the same...& I have met plenty of those types at parties/clubs & thought this still lol.
​
Like I said, I don't want a relationship & I don't think we're at the point where we need to know that about each other yet, but I also don't want to push him away as a friend or otherwise because I do think I like him but I absolutely cannot help but feel extremely paranoid. And this just continuously triggers me. Even more than I am normally by just being around people and going out or whatever. I've expressed this to friends, some of whom have EDs too, but most are just like "yeah, that's normal" or "it's good you're paranoid because what if he just wants to fuck?" when like the entire fucking base of my paranoia is the fact I fundamentally cannot fathom another person being attracted to me in any fucking way so ultimately I'm not even really worried if he's just doing all of this to deflower me because I don't even consider that a possibility lol :/
​
Does this happen to you guys??? How do you handle it? You don't have to give me advice or anything, I'm just interested in your own experiences because this is very, very new territory for me.
​
tl;dr guy seems to be genuinely into me, inexperienced virgin, & I cannot understand how or why that is possible. do you relate? how do you handle situations like this/dating/people being into you while balancing extreme psychological complexes regarding body/appearance & general anxiety/depression (if relevant)? or even sexual trauma? (yup, cherry on top is I'm a sexual assault survivor lmao)
[Help] Help me be a normie
/u/buffy-icecreamslayer
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:05:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4xxj/help_me_be_a_normie/
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I’m going out for drinks with some people because I’m trying to make friends, and I’ve usually just had that be my omad, but it’s always so many calories. Do you have any tips? What’s your fave low cal drink or bar snack?
Vision issues?
/u/HellaGayThrowaway [5'10"|CW:180|SW:225|GW1:172|UGW:135|NB21]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:05:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4xtf/vision_issues/
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I'll start this by saying, yes, obviously, I know I should see a doctor, but I have sort of a phobia of going to the doctor's and right now that's probably not happening. I'm also obviously not seeking medical advice, just curious if anyone else has had this happen.
I have an intermittent issue with my vision that's been happening more frequently since I started restricting. You know how when you've been restricting and you stand up and your vision gets all staticky before/after it starts to go black? I'll get a streak of that curling through the center of my vision sometimes. It's kind of the shape of the hill from the Nightmare before Christmas, and it's just this curl of static through the center of my vision in both eyes. My peripheral vision is fine. I can still see but it makes it kind of hard to read sometimes. It lasts for maybe 10-30 minutes depending on the episode and then it goes away. While it happens I get kind of light sensitive too.
This started when I was 16 and happens occasionally (usually like once a week max, but I'll go through periods where it won't happen for months) but within the past month or so it seems to be happening more frequently. I think it's happened about three times in the past week, and I probably should start keeping better track of it.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Some research says it seems kind of like a visual aura (?) that some people get with migraines but I don't have any headaches when it happens. Obviously I should just go see a neurologist or something but I figured I'd ask here just in case anyone has had it happen to them too and has any idea how to get it to stop happening so often.
Also I tend to restrict around 900-1500 calories on any given day, I eat a pretty balanced low fat diet and take several multivitamins so I don't think I'm micronutrient deficient (and I don't think I take enough that this would be a micronutrient toxicity).
Easier to just not eat?
/u/PsychologicalUse1w
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:05:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4xst/easier_to_just_not_eat/
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People constantly warn not to fast or low restrict too much because it leads to binges, but for me trying to eat normally or just restrict makes binging more likely, or at least makes my weekly calorie deficit a lot more pathetic.
When I’m fasting I know I’m just not allowed to eat anything. It also makes me really scared of food and just avoid it at all costs, whereas low restricting gives me a false sense of security I think? Sometimes it leads to a binge because once I start eating I don’t want to stop. I dunno. I’m fucked. Right now I’m deciding whether or not to die or to fast until thanksgiving, so...
(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و
[Discussion] Still not hungry
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:05:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4xsh/still_not_hungry/
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I haven’t eaten since yesterday and it is 6pm but I’m not hungry. I guess this is the only thing breakups are good for huh? It could be the menthol juul pod and the blue raspberry energy drink (0cal). I hope I get my appetite back. I really like enjoying my food. I don’t even want hot Cheetos that are in my bag. This is weird for me.
Still not hungry
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:04:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4xji/still_not_hungry/
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I haven’t eaten since yesterday and it is 6pm but I’m not hungry. I guess this is the only thing breakups are good for huh? It could be the menthol juul pod and the blue raspberry energy drink (0cal). I hope I get my appetite back. I really like enjoying my food. I don’t even want hot Cheetos that are in my bag. This is weird for me.
DAE just want to tell strangers/acquaintances they have an ED?
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 155 | GW: 125| BMI: 22.48 |]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:02:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4x5o/dae_just_want_to_tell_strangersacquaintances_they/
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I've had a weird urge to just blurt stuff out for the past couple weeks. I might just be feelin a little extra dramatic idk
like, 'oh you look so tired!' -> 'thanks, I have an eating disorder so that's probably why.'
'are you sick? you look sick.' -> 'yeah I havent really eaten in a couple days. Because I have an eating disorder.'
etc.
I love dessert but only in small, manageable portions. Should I just buy an Easy Bake oven?
/u/Dense_Necros [5'2" | CW:161lbs | 30.5| - 35lbs| UGW:110lbs| 22F|]
Created: Wed Nov 7 17:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4we9/i_love_dessert_but_only_in_small_manageable/
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[Discussion] Does anyone here take Kratom?
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Wed Nov 7 16:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4urt/does_anyone_here_take_kratom/
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I've been taking it for almost two years now. On and off. Small doses. But it makes my bowel movements just not happen some times? And I've read some where that it would have about 50 calories per 50 grams or something but a lot of that isn't digested. It leaves me really bloated and I've been cutting back but. It's a slow process.
Well anyways. I was wondering does any of my fellow ED guys and gals take this? And does it affect your hunger at all?
[Discussion] anyone else feel guilty if ur not empty ?
/u/tired_platypus [5' 3'' | CW: 119 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | HW: 131 lbs | F17]
Created: Wed Nov 7 16:35:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4p7m/anyone_else_feel_guilty_if_ur_not_empty/
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i decided to listen to my body or whatever so i ate a regular-ish sized meal with my family without making up some excuse abt why i’m not hungry and now i hate myself for eating until i got full. it’s like not being empty inside means that i failed. and now i’m contemplating whether i should give in and just eat even more.
Didn't give in!!
/u/WinterSpades
Created: Wed Nov 7 16:20:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4kra/didnt_give_in/
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So my gf really wanted McDonald's before we went into work together. I'm bracing myself as we go through the drive thru because normally I'm Absolutely Awful about stealing bites of food from others and I don't want to do that, as I've been really good about restricting lately. I already told her before we pulled up that I didn't want anything but she orders a large fry anyways for us to share.
I'll fucking plow through some fries but this time I didn't! I'm so proud of myself for keeping with it and not binging the whole thing of fries when she got them. I really feel like I'm doing well and I'm so happy about it!
[Rant/Rave] I just got back from the grocery store and I can’t explain it well but I’m just so upset
/u/ha11ucinogens
Created: Wed Nov 7 16:12:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4i7o/i_just_got_back_from_the_grocery_store_and_i_cant/
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GOD IT’S SO OVERWHELMING I SHOULDNT EAT ANYTHING EVERYTHING IS BAD FOR YOU ALMOST EVERYTHING IN THAT FUCKING STORE IM CRYING AS I TYPE THIS
I’ve convinced myself that unless it’s 100% organic GMO and hormone free (essentially a raw vegan diet + organic/GMO free that i’ll never be able to live up to/afford lol), that I’m damaging my body. I bought some fruit that my boyfriend convinced me is okay but it feels so fucking wrong.
It’s to the point that every purchase and every bite of food is filled with worry, stress, and emotional pain. I’m so afraid to eat.
I just bought grapes, apples, mandarins, and raspberries but I was an idiot for listening to my boyfriend they’re all wrong they’re all bad.
Not only that but I saw a post that you shouldn’t eat apples at night and other information similar to that so now fruit isn’t even completely safe. There’s some foods that are “alkaline” which are the foods I “should” be eating. There’s a lot more information that I’ve turned into rules.
For me, it’s not about the weight loss anymore, I’m just trying to be healthy and pure but I’m miserable.
God my head hurts from crying and I’ve hardly been eating because NOTHING IS OKAY TO EAT. NOT EVEN FRUIT. WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT. IM SO FED UP WITH IT, MAINLY WITH MYSELF. I NOW IM BEING STUPID BUT I CANT STOP.
[Rant/Rave] weighed myself for the first time in about 2 years
/u/Serenescence [5'8 | CW 115~ | GW 100 | 19F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 16:04:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4fwe/weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_about_2_years/
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124lbs, up from 110.
Granted the last time I weighed myself I was at my lowest weight and at the height of my restriction. “Recovering” made me fearful of ever weighing myself again. I’ve also undoubtedly grown in 2 years so it was kinda expected, but still. 124.
Good thing I just downloaded Lose it and am motivated more than ever to lose it.
You guys feel like home
/u/Marca19 [5"0.5 | 99lbs | BMI 19.1| FTM]
Created: Wed Nov 7 15:46:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v4a9e/you_guys_feel_like_home/
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You are the only people that I am comfortable talking to. You feel like home. I'm extremely drunk and at a party at my university right now, my ex is here and I still love him. I am so in love with him that it's only grown in intensity in the last few months - if I was ever able to get back together with him I would in a heartbeat (If he wanted to be with me). We live together and if this was my perfect world we would be together, but we aren't because I don't like having sex and I came out to him as MTF trans. But the thing is, I don't know if I am trans, I don't know if my hatred of my body has just made me feel like that. I think the only thing I can do is kill myself now. I'm so tired of questioning myself and feeling miserable because I don't know who I am and I can't go back now as I am already out to my family.I don't want to go back to living with my parents after uni. I don't want anything, I just want to know who I am. I want to know if I'm trans or not. Nobody knows how miserable I am and how much I wish I could dissapear but I can't do it, I have family and I could never kill myself. I want it all to stop, I want it to go away. I need it to stop. I don't know what to do, I'm so alone.
I need this never ending nightmare I'm living in to stop because I genuinely don't know if I am a trans man or not - if I could just die I would. I want to be with him so bad but I want to know how I feel. Maybe something could have happened when I was young (sexually I mean) but I have no idea and is that why I'm so fucked up? Because I think I might still enjoy sex if I were to try but it gives me so much anxiety. Honestly I doubt anything bad hapened to me but I'm just looking for a reason for why I'm so fucked at this point. Mabe medication will help, but probably not honestly I think I'm just doomed to this forever.
I've wanted to die constantly on and off for the last year of my life but I guess I could never be happy. Even if I was with my ex I would be too unhealthy for him, I want him to be happy so much. But I feel like I can tell that other people have feelings for him now and I'm so scared of making him uncomfortable because he told me he isn't attracted to me anymore (but we are still very close).
I filled one of the last things in my bucket list tonight (to go out to a proper party and get drunk at uni for the first time) and I'm proud if it actually, but why can't I be happy? My ED is probably just a manifestation of all of this misery. I wish I was dead, I wish to get hit by a car and die so my family didn't know about how bad things are and that I wanted to die
My ex was sad tonight because he feels like he isn't accepted by his new friends but I know he is, I know they enjoy having him around. He is so lovely to be around and I was so lucky while I was with him but I know I can't have that anymore. If I could I think I might like to try slowly distancing myself from him, so it hurts him less when I go because I don't want him to know that I killed myself. I'm not sure how to balance causing myself the least amount of pain with with not hurting myself.
He is so wonderful and I wish him the happiest possible life with whoever he wants, especially not me because I'm too unhealthy. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers (prayers only if you're religious haha!). He deserves to do well in life. Thank you so much.
I'm tired and I'm sorry for my drunken ramblings. I'm so sorry. Thank you all for being there even when I'm fat and drunk. Thank you.
[Discussion] Does anyone else...
/u/conuretrash [5'4''| 20 F | CW 147 | GW 115| -43 |]
Created: Wed Nov 7 15:38:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v47vr/does_anyone_else/
---
Think they’re able to fast, go 24 hours in then binge eat, then immediately after the binge think they’re okay to fast again?? This mindset has been happening to me everyday. Even right now after eating over maintenance I feel like I’ll be fine to fast for the next week even though I just binged and ruined my fast. Like I’m obviously going to fail but I feel so optimistic. It’s really annoying.
Good or bad? Cant decide.
/u/goodbyeruby2sday [5'6 | GW 110 |21.4| CW 132 |FTM]
Created: Wed Nov 7 15:32:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v45tg/good_or_bad_cant_decide/
---
Basically I've never restricted low (under 900) because I need my school grades and physical performance, but it's been getting harder to eat over 1000. I tried to eat some chocolate so I at least had some energy but apparently I can't stand the taste anymore.
That used to be my favourite food. One square was too much. But yay I guess because that's a lot of calories I'm not gonna binge on.
[Rant/Rave] Love the man, but I'm so triggered by our relationship.
/u/lotsofsqs
Created: Wed Nov 7 15:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v42g0/love_the_man_but_im_so_triggered_by_our/
---
He knows I have an ED, but not the details. I've refused food before, but often cave because of the sad look he gets when I skip a meal. He's so kind and caring without being pushy. He offers to come to my therapy appointments and support groups. He asks me what I need, but I'm not sure what I need.
I'm not triggered by him. He's wonderful. But our relationship brings up so many insecurities for me that I seem to only fix through weight loss and working out.
His ex-wife and his ex's girlfriend work at the ED clinic in town. I'd guess she has ED behaviors based on a few things I know about her and apparently her sister does too. She's about 4 inches shorter than me and takes up way less space. I hate being in this large, awkward body. I want to be smaller than her, so of course, I need to lose weight.
His family is incredibly fit. His parents are 70 and can run circles around me. His sister is twice my age and looks younger than me. She's fitter than most high school students.
He's incredibly strong and his BF% is incredibly low. We go to the gym together and I'm embarrassed by my weakness and flabbiness.
He's not doing anything wrong, but I can't help but feel I'm not good enough for him. I must diet and lose weight and train until I can run a marathon, but at the same time, I must recover, because he doesn't deserve someone who is mentally ill. I'm so conflicted and confused and feel so stuck.
[Discussion] DAE go through cycles of binging/restricting?
/u/kiddogambino [5'3 | CW: 127 | GW1: 120 | GW2: 110 ]
Created: Wed Nov 7 15:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v42ev/dae_go_through_cycles_of_bingingrestricting/
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Usually in periods of a week I cycle between restricting and then binging. When I restrict I'm under 500cal a day and workout once or twice daily, and am always in a deficit. Then right as I begin to lose weight I begin to binge again. It's resulting in severe weight gain as I eat like a pig half the time. My weight gain is causing my depression to spiral out of control again. It's like I only feel mentally in control when restricting. Once I binge or notice weight gain it's like my life is falling apart. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else goes through this. I'm not even sure if this classifies as having an ED I'm just trying to get back in control and am seeking some consolidation.
[Help] What is the best cheap fiber and/or laxative diet to be on?
/u/mybongisgross69
Created: Wed Nov 7 15:06:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3xho/what_is_the_best_cheap_fiber_andor_laxative_diet/
---
I'm not sure if this is appropriate to ask here but can anyone help me?
Can I also be on both fiber and laxatives at the same time?
[Help] DAE feel fat immediately after eating their allowed calories??
/u/epnos [🏳️🌈5'7" | CW 116lbs | GW 105lbs | F ]
Created: Wed Nov 7 15:03:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3wq8/dae_feel_fat_immediately_after_eating_their/
---
I used to feel good about eating the food I've allowed myself to eat but now I've started feeling like I'm on a slippery slope to being fat-- but only during or after I eat. For example, today I fasted until dinner and then had 280 cal for dinner+ a whole lot of water (it was pizza, and I know you're thinking "well duh that's why you feel fat" but the pizza was literally bread and vegetables, no cheese.) In the past, I was able to savour each bite but nowadays I just feel nauseous and horrible while eating.
I'm scared that this means I'm getting worse. Does anyone else feel like this or have any tips for making food good again?
ED Buddy?
/u/killercatz7420
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:46:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3r4t/ed_buddy/
---
Anyone on here have an interest in connecting and getting each other through the day?
What celebrities do you think have EDs?
/u/anni_wannabe [5'2" | CW: 127 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:32:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3ms3/what_celebrities_do_you_think_have_eds/
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Obviously tons of celebs are thin and beautiful. Do you suspect any specific celebs actually have an ED? Obviously ones who haven't admitted to it
I'm only attracted to girls with EDs. AMA?
/u/puke_you_slut
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3mme/im_only_attracted_to_girls_with_eds_ama/
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I obviously only like thin girls, but more than that I'm sooooo into girls with body issues and who, no matter how thin, want to be thinner.
[Other] I was just thinking about allowing myself some crackers so that I don’t feel like I’m dying when I happened across this picture on Pinterest. I know it probably wasn’t created in the context of EDs, but it sure as hell redirected me from those crackers.
/u/lizbites
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3le6/i_was_just_thinking_about_allowing_myself_some/
---
https://i.redd.it/dl96mavc8zw11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Me and another girl at the gym made eye contact and both started doing a body check
/u/exgfbff [5'9 | CW 142 | SW 149 | No Weigh November!]
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3if6/me_and_another_girl_at_the_gym_made_eye_contact/
---
It was such a weird thing to realize as I’ve never picked up on any body disordered behavior from anyone until I found this sub and now I see it more than I’d like to. I wish I could tell everyone about this sub 😫 I just want everyone who struggles to know they’re not alone. Anyone else?
[Tip] I just binged in over 1000 calories of shortbread cookies
/u/Dreaming_Lightly
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:13:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3gtn/i_just_binged_in_over_1000_calories_of_shortbread/
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Advice of the day: don’t fucking HOARD BINGE FOOD. It’ll bite you in the ass when you’re feeling weak.
[Other] Obsessed with Other People's Food
/u/ratorture [5'9 | 130 | 18.65| Perpetual Recovery Machine|]
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3glk/obsessed_with_other_peoples_food/
---
Why in the Hell can't I get enough of asking people what they ate? What will they eat? What did they have for lunch? What's dinner? What did they have for breakfast? Sounds good. What will you have tomorrow? What did you eat on the weekend? You went to a party? What was served there? What about your grandparents and aunts and the second cousin you don't see except on rare Holidays, what are they supping on tonight? And what about your neighbours haha? What is eaten at the tables in the houses within a 50km radius of yours? T̴̙̻̄e̴̮̓̓͑̕l̶̬͚̞̈́̔ͅḹ̴̥͝ ̵̘̑͝m̴̡͉̐̚͝é̸̢̲̟̟̈́
I love hearing about it. I ask everyone like I'm an old farmer asking about the weather. I just realised this might be sus as fuck but I've already been asking people at work about their meals for so long I reckon the damage is DONE.
[Goal] My grandma reposted the pic on the left on Facebook. Taken 2 years ago today. Holy fucking shit, y’all. (160 lbs? on left, Now below 120.)
/u/LumosErin
Created: Wed Nov 7 14:10:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3fk4/my_grandma_reposted_the_pic_on_the_left_on/
---
https://i.redd.it/wt9gbo445zw11.jpg
The barista just called my drink “the poor mans latte” in front of my date 😪
/u/trillbabe
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:56:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3b0j/the_barista_just_called_my_drink_the_poor_mans/
---
I got a large coffee with almond milk and a couple pumps of sugar free syrup because skinny queen and she rolled her eyes to her coworkers and loudly said “what we call the poor mans latte.” I could tell she instantly felt bad and I would’ve tore her tf up if I was alone, but being with a cute guy I just laughed. It was so awkward. I don’t get it because it’s cheap, I get it because it’s like 10 calories max 🙄 charge me the same price as a regular latte hoe I just want to stay below my calorie goal!
[Other] A very ED moment at the vet
/u/Serodollars
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:50:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v3903/a_very_ed_moment_at_the_vet/
---
Soooo I took my kitty to the vet yesterday because she puked up something funny. They told me not to feed her for like 15 hours and come back in the morning to get some blood work done. We also weighed her, since she needs to loose a bit of fat.
Fast forward to this morning. I took my hungry hungry kitty to the vet, they take her blood and guess who bit their tounge in the last moment before asking "can we weigh her after the fast?". You know, because that's what I'd do if it was about me.
I'm glad I managed to stop myself. Apparently not everyone steps on the scale obsessively and on an empty stomach.
I'm so stupid.
A very ED moment at the vet
/u/Serodollars
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:47:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v384g/a_very_ed_moment_at_the_vet/
---
Soooo I took my kitty to the vet yesterday because she puked up something funny. They told me not to feed her for like 15 hours and come back in the morning to get some blood work done. We also weighed her, since she needs to loose a bit of fat.
Fast forward to this morning. I took my hungry hungry kitty to the vet, they take her blood and guess who bit their tounge in the last moment before asking "can we weigh her after the fast?". You know, because that's what I'd do if it was about me.
I'm glad I managed to stop myself. Apparently not everyone steps on the scale obsessively and on an empty stomach.
I'm so stupid.
[Help] How to be not anemic
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | SW:120 CW: 105.9 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:44:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v37az/how_to_be_not_anemic/
---
Apparently I am severely anemic. I have been dizzy and feeling tingly all over my face, head and extremities. I thought my body was getting too weak from restricting (even though I high restrict). But nope, I’m not losing my ed strength, I just need some fucking iron.
Anyone know how to get iron without eating meat or getting constipation?
I mean I think my doctor is going to give me so IV iron but I’m scared it’s going to fuck up my digestion.
Has this happened to anyone else?
[Help] Anyone else feel like a total failure?
/u/nowayjoseTA
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:41:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v366n/anyone_else_feel_like_a_total_failure/
---
I hate gaining weight, especially when I know it’s not a plateau, but my fault because I can’t stop snacking throughout the day, and my cravings will never fucking stop. fuck !
It’s my birthday , I can cry if I want to
/u/prisionmike2
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:36:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v34av/its_my_birthday_i_can_cry_if_i_want_to/
---
Hey guys !
I’ve never posted before , but I’ve been lurking like a creep in the night since about 16,000 subscribers . I’ve been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember (ain’t nobody got time for that whole story) .
My LW was 115 when I was 20 in college and I went up to 190 when I was pregnant at 24 . Wtf , kill me . I was really struggling to lose the extra weight after my son was born since I was in permanent binge mode during my pregnancy . It’s disgusting how much i convinced myself to eat because I was eAtInG FoR TwOoOo. No bitch, stop.
Anyway , i decided to get my shit together on August 1st by starting kEtO aka broccoli , broth, string cheese, SF jello, plain chicken breast , anything 0 calorie . I just kept my carbs under 20g and ate the lowest amount of fat possible . I do cardio for 20 mins , weights for 30 mins, and stretch for 10 mins about 4x a week . I eat around 900 calories a day , give or take 300 depending on the day .
My progress pics :
https://imgur.com/gallery/87flh4o
My goal was 125 by my birthday today , but I am 127.4 . I am disappointed but it’s okay . Hopefully I’ll be there by the time I visit my family at thanksgiving . Next year at this time I’m trying for LW 115 again.
This sub has really helped me realize I’m not the only one obsessing with food / body image issues . Some of you have given me great tips on how to go about this struggle the healthiest way possible . Thank you to anyone who has read this far , and thank you even more to the people who actively post everyday bc without you , I can not lurk . You the real MVP!!
Xoxo
EC stack not working!
/u/anni_wannabe
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:28:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v31wo/ec_stack_not_working/
---
Today is my 2nd day EC stacking and I was hungry most of the day! I tried not to eat lunch but I just had a mini-binge. I'm trying to cut down on purging so I really need to keep my eating in check. What gives?
I’m sad and hungry
/u/Annewellmorrel [18F|SW100kg|CW78.7kg|UGW50kg|5’6]
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:25:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v30wo/im_sad_and_hungry/
---
that’s all. sad and hungry. getting it out there
Are there any other ana stoners out there?
/u/fasttmath
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:24:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v30kd/are_there_any_other_ana_stoners_out_there/
---
I know it sounds counterintuitive but it actually helps me with my cravings/hunger. Just wondering if there are others out there. :)
[Rant/Rave] My mom literally just bought SIX GIANT HALLOWEEN BAGS OF CHOCOLATE
/u/ThatsMyOtp
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:18:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2yrk/my_mom_literally_just_bought_six_giant_halloween/
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Bruh, half of this chocolates are secretly gonna be thrown in the garbage tonight though.
But seriously, I’m tired of living with my overweight, insanely unhealthy family, Like fr.
[Help] I have a BMI of 14.5 but I don’t look skinny
/u/Wander3 [Height: 162cm | CW: 37.4 kg]
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:16:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2y14/i_have_a_bmi_of_145_but_i_dont_look_skinny/
---
My collar bones are barely visible (have to strain to make them pop out)
Same with my ribs (suck in)
No chest bones showing
Hip bones barely show
Fat thighs
Fat stomach
Constant bloating ( I’m talking pregnant looking)
My arms and legs are also big (sometimes I see them thin most of the time I’m taken aback by how huge they are)
I’m not sick
My hair doesn’t fall out
I haven’t caught the flu or cold for a couple of years now
I don’t have those fine hairs anorexics supposed to have
I have a bit of dry skin sometimes but nothing major
I haven’t missed my period (although currently I’m 3 days late which almost never happens but I’m sure I’ll get it)
No has every expressed concern really (my dad tells me I look disgusting but that’s just because he thinks woman have to be curvy and have meat on their bones)
People point out my full cheeks and stomach all the time
My sisters tell me I eat too much all the time
I’m having thoughts that I might not be real.
I don’t know how to explain what I’m going through but it’s killing me.
Does anyone feel like this in recovery?
/u/polishium
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2tx4/does_anyone_feel_like_this_in_recovery/
---
Like, I know I have eating issues, and I know I've been diagnosed, but I feel like such a fucking fake being fucking 10 pounds heavier and a genuinely chubby girl and still crying about this shit and talking to therapists about me having a fucking eating disorder. Like I feel like when people listen to me talk they're like "yeah right like you actually suffer from this shit get a fucking grip" and I just feel so ashamed like how can I even show my face when I'm this fucking weak and fucked up.
​
Like I know realistically that's how a lot of people feel, and logic says that this is distorted thinking and I'm completely aware of how CBT works, but damn I just can't stop feeling like this is all just me being a dumb weak person and just genuinely worthless. Like I can eat normal meals and I'm not be purging anymore and just be a normal fat shit but I'm still breaking down mentally over it.
​
Like I just hate myself so fucking much.
[Rant/Rave] I fucking love getting triggered
/u/ManWithTheHands
Created: Wed Nov 7 13:02:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2t5h/i_fucking_love_getting_triggered/
---
I'm just going along with my day, I've been doing pretty well with not hating myself, then I see something that hits me like a fucking train, the disordered thoughts are back, my new goal weight is even lower, I fucking hate my height because it means I'm never gonna go as low as I want, and it just makes me want to fucking give up. Fuck this.
[Rant/Rave] Complains about gaining weight. Immediately gets period...
/u/mmblarg
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:59:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2s3v/complains_about_gaining_weight_immediately_gets/
---
Thanks body, could have warned me you were gonna be 8 days early so I could have avoided the last 3 days of panic...,
[Discussion] Anyone else here with other mental/mood disorders?
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:58:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2rrs/anyone_else_here_with_other_mentalmood_disorders/
---
I have bipolar 2 and severe anxiety with a few OCD tendencies(Likely from the anxiety). I was diagnosed years ago but don’t take medicine because of a narcissist of a mom lmao.
I think they both fuel my eating disorder a lot. When I’m (hypo)manic I rarely get hungry and just want to go go go which leads to so much exercise on an empty stomach. When I’m depressed I hate myself too much to eat.
My anxiety is so bad I hate leaving the house and don’t go to public high school. Anytime I’m around groups of people I get uncomfortable and stress over if i’m the fattest person there. I refuse to eat in fast food restaurants because if someone sees me I think they’ll think i’m disgusting.
I only use self checkout at stores and if its closed I will not buy anything. The only store I’m comfortable going to without self checkout is this outdated local place that mostly old people shop at, and I only purchase diet soda and raw lean meat. I feel like if I purchase anything else they will think I’m fat and gross. So basically i’m a mess lmao, how bout y’all
[Rant/Rave] Not a Fan of Candids
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:48:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2o28/not_a_fan_of_candids/
---
So I’m a news anchor for my university’s campus news show and my professor decided to post a bunch of behind the scenes shots for our Facebook page which include a bunch of candid shots of us anchors. Mind you the other two anchors are normal/ skinny weights while with my fat ass you can seem to tell where my second chin ends and my neck begins. I really want to talk with my professor about letting me approve photos of me before they are posted but I don’t want to seem like a diva.
Any other men with an ED on here?
/u/FrankWest21CP
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:38:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2ktk/any_other_men_with_an_ed_on_here/
---
I'm a guy and I struggle with what I think it bulimia. I like to eat a bunch of stuff all at once and then purge it by way of laxatives, prune juice, and a metric ton of water.
I have really bad depression and anxiety too.
Any other men on here with similar struggles?
[Discussion] What size bra do you guys wear and what’s your bmi?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:28:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2him/what_size_bra_do_you_guys_wear_and_whats_your_bmi/
---
I promise I’m not a pervert or anything. I’m just curious because some days I’ll wake up and be like I just want a healthy, toned body with big boobs and then other days I just want to be underweight. Idk even know myself but I don’t really want to lose my boobs ya know. Sorry if this is confusing.
[Discussion] Just had a thought
/u/thin42069
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:15:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2dg4/just_had_a_thought/
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You know all those claims saying the average woman need at least 2000 calories a day but if I ate that I’d definitely gain? Is it not because all the obese people have such a high bmr that it brings the average up?
Just had a thought
/u/olga_xx
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:11:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2c4e/just_had_a_thought/
---
You know all those people saying the average woman needs 2000 calories to maintain but like if i ate that I’d gain for sure so like do they not think about the amount of the population that’s obese that raise that average so high? Idk if am making sense am stoned
[Discussion] Opinion on Eating Disorder Group Chats?
/u/red-sunday
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:07:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2aos/opinion_on_eating_disorder_group_chats/
---
Like the ones on kik. Just curious to here all your opinions.
DAE start to feel good about yourself when you’re at home but then go out in public and feel like shit upon seeing a bunch of skinny/pretty people
/u/StrikingEdge
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:06:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2a8c/dae_start_to_feel_good_about_yourself_when_youre/
---
Almost like.. who was I trying to kid???
Ah the perils of living in New York among actual supermodels.😔
This flattened monster on the side of the road is a BIG mood
/u/coldbrewkweeen [5'8 | CW: 122 | UGW: 115 | SW: 140 | 26F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 12:00:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v28ee/this_flattened_monster_on_the_side_of_the_road_is/
---
https://i.redd.it/yoaez0g2iyw11.jpg
[Help] how to get rid of bloating??
/u/seeyasis
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:59:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v27s0/how_to_get_rid_of_bloating/
---
i look like a middle age balding beer bellied man
Has anyone here had problems with their gallbladder from eating 800 calories and less a day?
/u/lunarmoth_ [5’5”| 145 | 24 | -20 | 23F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:58:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v27nq/has_anyone_here_had_problems_with_their/
---
[Help] Binging Twice A week?
/u/killercatz7420
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v23qj/binging_twice_a_week/
---
Wanting to know if Ill gain by binging twice a week. I currently restrict under 500 3 days, fast 2, and binge 2. But I’ve really been struggling with this.
[Rant/Rave] The more weight I lose, the more afraid I become of eating
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:41:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v21vx/the_more_weight_i_lose_the_more_afraid_i_become/
---
It’s irrational but I keep thinking that anything I eat will just make me gain weight. It’s terrifying, I hate the idea of it. BUT I CANT STOP.
Can anyone relate?
[Other] DAE wanna go vegan/vegetarian but about 3 days in crave meat so bad that you have a meat-only binge ?
/u/homgerygorl
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:39:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v2181/other_dae_wanna_go_veganvegetarian_but_about_3/
---
Like seriously. Ill be good and avoid meat, eggs, cheese, etc and then after about 3 days, meat. All i want is meat. No cheese. No eggs. Just. Meat. 2 pounds of bacon, a pound of lunchmeat by itself, a whole hamsteak, and im still hungry for only meat.
The fuck is up with that ?
Coworker gifted me this after a tough work week and it was so nice, which makes me want to cry, and it’s also 18 candy bars, which also makes me want to cry.
/u/smstton2
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:36:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v20a9/coworker_gifted_me_this_after_a_tough_work_week/
---
https://i.imgur.com/ROZ1vXn.jpg
I get a sick sense of pleasure out of how fucked my skin gets on restriction.
/u/xerox13ster [5'7" | 237.9 | Goal: 225 | BMI 35.6 | -85lbs | 25 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1z1i/i_get_a_sick_sense_of_pleasure_out_of_how_fucked/
---
I'm 72hrs into an unintentional dry fast because I don't feel like putting anything in my body. My skin is pallid, scaly, and I can see my veins through the palms of my hands. Any nicks or scrapes I've accumulated aren't healing, and if I press my fingernails into my skin the indention can stay for literal hours.
Don't worry, I plan on breaking the dry portion tonight, but right now, in this moment right here, I am winning and it feels amazing.
[Rant/Rave] It's about escaping for me
/u/Torkmentor
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:28:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1xvo/its_about_escaping_for_me/
---
Soo here I am, 3pm and I'm getting drunk on beer in order to avoid a b/p. But ofc I know that's not gonna work bc alcohol makes me want food. And food makes me want to purge... So.
I realized, my disorder isn't about control, it's all about escaping. When I was overweight I used to eat my feelings away and that was my escape. Then I started restricting, became underweight and I was so focused on calories, the scale, overexercising, etc. that was my escape.
I also use drugs to mask my shitty reality, weed, alcohol, amphetamines, whatever.
The reality is that I just want to die.
No drug (not eating, overeating, exercise, alcohol, weed, etc.) Is doing the 'job' right lately... Meaning I just can't escape my reality and I just want to die. All. The. Time.
Can't I just die?
I don't want help, I don't want to recover (whatever the fuck that means anyway) I just wanna die.
Never been truly happy here so what's the point in living and suffering when I can just end it. Also the way I see life and this world makes me feel like even if I recovered I'd still wouldn't like to live for too long. Bc ya know, life has it's moments but it kinda mostly sucks ime/imo.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Idk what response I expect. Just wanna know if some other 25 year old fuck up relates...
I have never been thin
/u/birdsbirdsbirds339 [25F| 160cm | gw1: 137 | -28]
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:25:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1wti/i_have_never_been_thin/
---
I remember being mortified in 7th grade stepping on the scale for the first time. 123 pounds. Even the boys at my school were still in the double digits.
In grade 9 we calculated our BMIs and I was in a upper limit healthy adult range. My home ec teacher told us that BMI tends to skew low for adolescents. The kid across from me laughed when I told him what it was.
In grade 10 I was being piggybacked off some guy and he told me I was heavy as fuck. I was 133lbs, the same as my gorgeous friend who was 5 inches taller than me and literally a model.
My adult LW is my CW which is still 3lbs overweight. I'm slowly getting to my honestly modest goal; I'd probably get there faster if I stopped lifting entirely and just fasted but I don't want to get skinnyfat. I can feel my entire collar bone when I touch it now, I can count 7 ribs if I stretch a bit. I don't really know what the point of this post is, I guess I feel out of place most of the time because my GW is still gargantuan
[Discussion] Going through (not ED-related) medical issues, constantly praised for being thin.
/u/strungnendearing
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:22:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1vpr/going_through_not_edrelated_medical_issues/
---
Every time I go to the hospital, I hear:
—“This procedure will be easy because you’re small”
—“It’s good you’re thin”
—“You’re the perfect weight for this”
—“I’m glad you’re skinny”
^Literally said word-for-word (by four different drs or techs) in my last week of appointments. No ED stuff in my charts and I generally add 10 lbs when I self-report my weight, so I guess they have no reason to believe they shouldn’t encourage and praise my body.
But when it’s from doctors, it doesn’t feel like an ego boost, it just fucking hurts.
[rant/rave] I got called fat today
/u/800goat [5'6 | CW:125 | 20.2 | -21 | M]
Created: Wed Nov 7 11:12:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1ssj/rantrave_i_got_called_fat_today/
---
I'm the same person who got called tiny yesterday.
I have this friend and he's the only one who knows I have an ED and that I feel guilty about food and hate my body. Today in art class he called me fat a couple times. He does it a lot but it made me mad.
I look a bit of watered down gouache (a lot like watercolor) and put a dot about the size of a pinhead on a part of his project that he was going to color black. Like, I knew he would be able to draw right over it and you literally couldn't see it because it was so watered down, I just did it because I was mad. I know I probably shouldn't have done this.
He immediately started screaming at me in front of the whole class about how I ruined his project and need to stop ruining his things. and violently ripped up his paper in front of me and threw it away, and then left.
Idk. I know I shouldn't have done it but I didn't think he'd react that way. If he hadn't ripped it up I'd be able to fix it for him in 2 seconds. I just feel like shit is what I'm saying.
[Discussion] DAE eat more when they’re full, but won’t eat when they’re hungry?
/u/SushiUschi
Created: Wed Nov 7 10:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1n8x/dae_eat_more_when_theyre_full_but_wont_eat_when/
---
I’m starving right now and I’m about to head out to a diner with some coworkers, but I don’t want to eat. Had I eaten those waffles and sausages this morning, I would be excited to go.
I guess I’m just enjoying this... feeling of emptiness.
[Discussion] Whole Foods suggestions?
/u/unforgettable_potato
Created: Wed Nov 7 10:39:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1i4v/whole_foods_suggestions/
---
Sorry for a kind of crap post. Mods feel free to delete if it's too low effort.
So basically I have some errands to do Saturday in the larger city near me. One of which is picking up my Amazon package at Whole Foods. Whole Foods isn't a thing back home. So I am kind of excited to visit. (I know. Sad.)
So I just wanna know, for those of you who shop there, what are some of your low-cal go tos?
[Rant/Rave] Update - Purging
/u/bluediner
Created: Wed Nov 7 10:31:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1fuo/update_purging/
---
So, I posted a few days ago about purging for the first time, and I have a bit of an update! I’d been so nervous about the whole thing for the past week, and it finally got to me last night, and I binged but! I didn’t purge! I briefly considered it, but I managed to resist.
I’m just going to restrict a bit heavier the next few days (my binges are usually only about 1000-1500 calories), and I’ll make up for it that way. I know restricting more after a binge is kinda of its own form of purging, but honestly, I’d rather this than actual vomiting, so I’m just gonna count it as a win.
But thanks again for everyone who read my post before and helped me out 💕
The closer I get to my goal weight, the fatter I feel.
/u/mayaswelljustdie
Created: Wed Nov 7 10:28:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1et5/the_closer_i_get_to_my_goal_weight_the_fatter_i/
---
I’ve always struggled with body issues and felt fat/generally disgusted with myself. Most of my life I’ve comfortably lived in the somewhat-to-very overweight-but-not-obese category and felt like I had no control over it and that I would just always be gross.
Cut to this past January, I’m sitting miserably at ~170lbs (rapidly creeping up on my highest weight at 180) and I finally realized that it’s all just CICO. I’ve lost meaningful weight for the first time in my life, kept it off, and have been steadily creeping towards my goal. I stagnated at 145 because I kept binging, and, after general frustration and a heartbreaking experience, decided to challenge myself to eat as little as possible to get back on track. I’ve lost ~10lbs in like two and a half weeks and have been taking extraordinary pleasure and pride in the discomfort that comes with eating less than 500 calories a day.
My original goal weight was 130. I’m sitting at 135.8. You’d think all of this progress - the first I’ve ever had of this level - would fill me with joy. It doesn’t. I hate myself. I look in the mirror and I’m still so fucking fat. My body shape has barely changed. I’m noticeably thinner in places but that doesn’t even matter - my “muffin top,” my disgusting legs, the flabbiness of it all ... it’s all still glaringly there. It’s like nothing has actually changed at all. The measurements, the pounds are all meaningless if the progress hasn’t actually changed how gross I look.
I was so afraid of this. I was so afraid that actually ever getting to my goal weight - this lifelong “unachievable” goal - wasn’t going to be enough. I’m still so fucking fat. I hate this. I don’t know what I am supposed to do, but it’s definitely not going to be eating because that’s the last thing I deserve to do.
How the hell do I eat enough?
/u/BrainOnMars
Created: Wed Nov 7 10:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v1a1j/how_the_hell_do_i_eat_enough/
---
Long story short, I went back on dieting again. I've done this a couple of times already, but lately I've been so stressed about fattening that I started counting calories. To my surprise, doing the same thing, I discovered I'm only eating around 800 calories per day. Yesterday I counted milk with morning coffee, some ham or similar with salad for lunch, another bit of milk in the afternoon and I even had pasta for dinner, and it didn't even reach 1000. I feel like I'm eating a lot, even a bit too much, like the pasta, but I'm clearly under a sustainable intake, for I am a 1,80m tall guy. Now, I don't ask for a healthy diet, but how do I eat enough to at least reach 1000kcal per day without having to eat things like biscuits, fatty chops of meat, lot of bread or those things? Pasta was already just to have dinner with my dad, so I don't always plan on getting such a meal. It's just that I have to study, I need to get a bit more food in this period or I will go offline during lesson and study hours, but I don't want to eat food bombs.
What do you eat to add something to your day without resorting to fatty foods or bread or those things, ya know?
[Rant/Rave] Out of things to “control”
/u/skelekey
Created: Wed Nov 7 10:04:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v16x0/out_of_things_to_control/
---
So I’m the kind of person that uses my ED as a method of control. Restricting makes me feel strong and worthy, as fucked up as that sounds.
So I started using other methods to fulfill my need for control. I moved into my sisters old room, completely redecorated and painted. I bleached my hair from dark brown to platinum and dyed it peach. I even started stretching my ears.
But it feels like nothing can take the place of it. When I do other methods of “control” I binge horribly. I’ve almost eaten an entire pie in 2 days. I feel so fat and disgusting, like an obese whale. I want to just stop trying and slip back into my ED but it makes me feel horrible. But I miss losing weight. I miss being able to control how I look. What I eat, choosing to eat the low calorie foods while my family eats 2000 calories. I don’t know what to do anymore.
[Help] Birth Control
/u/insomniaed
Created: Wed Nov 7 09:53:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v13cm/birth_control/
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Hi, I've been wondering if anyone here takes birth control pills only for the benefit of not having to deal with their period and the bloating that comes with it. Would it work or is it a bad idea?
I just want to get rid of my period so badly because I get so fucking bloated for like 2 weeks which makes me srsly suicidal and depressed. :(
[Rant/Rave] Saw a post about partners encouraging EDs and its got me thinking about my relationship
/u/lonelybeet [5'5" | 112.6 | 18.74 | 21F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 09:41:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0zre/saw_a_post_about_partners_encouraging_eds_and_its/
---
[removed]
Just got banned from Tesco lads
/u/WhatAreSnailsDoing
Created: Wed Nov 7 09:34:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0xbn/just_got_banned_from_tesco_lads/
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So I was tasked by my D&D group to get snacks and desserts for our session tonight. As it's been about 3 months since I last bought bread or chocolate, I was FREAKING OUT - trying not to look at the labels, trying not to make eye contact, just grabbing the food and getting the fuck out of dodge as quickly as possible. Only, as I walked out the door, I felt this beefy hand on my shoulder. I turned around and there was this 7 foot ogre security guard TOWERING over me. With his onion breath he bellowed, "SECURITY. COME WITH ME." I managed to stutter out, "w-what? Why?" He then pointed his carrot finger at my armpit.
You guys.
I had a mini baguette tucked under there.
In my panic I'd forgotten to pay for it, and now I was stood there like some kind of crazy French lady.
Even though I tried my best to explain and apologise, he wasn't having any of it. I'm now banned from my local Tesco, and the fear that they share security footage means I probably won't be going into any other Tesco for a looooong time (which is great for avoiding binge shopping but also, where the fuck do I shop now???). Worst thing was IT COST 35p AAAARGHHH. Anyway, has anything like this ever happened to you?
[Other] A poem I wrote because I have no self control and it’s frustrating
/u/Dreaming_Lightly
Created: Wed Nov 7 09:23:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0u19/a_poem_i_wrote_because_i_have_no_self_control_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/p1rn5i91qxw11.jpg
[Other] *pokes MFP* Please return to me...
/u/3-months-to-45
Created: Wed Nov 7 09:19:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0spi/pokes_mfp_please_return_to_me/
---
It's the second day post MFPocolypse, and I'm starting to struggle. I know there's the browser version and other alternatives, but the former is a giant pain in the ass and latter is... well, I just like MFP okay? How hard can it be to fix the app?
Welp. This is nice :)
[Discussion] what are your experiences with telling people about your ed?
/u/sundaeys
Created: Wed Nov 7 09:03:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0nm6/what_are_your_experiences_with_telling_people/
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anytime i tell someone about my problems with food, it doesn’t go well. i remember telling one of my friends and now she mocks me by asking me how much calories are in every single thing i eat :/
[Rant/Rave] I rewarded myself yesterday and now I just want to punish myself... Ugh [rant]
/u/Alexithymia115 [5'3" | SW:120 CW:115 | 20.3|GW:115|UGW:110 | 23F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 09:01:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0n1a/i_rewarded_myself_yesterday_and_now_i_just_want/
---
I tried really hard this last week or so to not do crazy ED things. I had lost almost 5lb this past few weeks. I've been running, doing my planks correcting my posture. Things sorta look better? I never know.... I woke up goal weight last week so I figured "you can relax now it's okay this is what normal people do you can add a few calories" so I bumped up to 1200. Okay things started going up again. But I was like "it's just water retention from the running. It's just muscle lbs that's what the scale says".
I even finished a section of my grad applications that I had been putting off for over a week. And I'd eaten barely 400 cals so far yesterday. So I figured I should be rewarded with my favorite Mexican restaurant.... I fucking devoured it. It was so fucking delicious. I estimate I hit 1400-1500 cal yesterday..... ........Okay.
I fucking woke up this morning 117.0 and even though the scale says I'm 23% fat and apparent 85lb lean body mass I think it's fucking lying 😭. It's driving me fucking crazy because I don't know what's true anymore. The media isn't true, objective truth isn't true, lies are alternative facts, apparently nobody in the goddamn world actually cares about real human beings and their suffering. My job is moving to some bullshit location that's going to kill the effectiveness of our treatment program.
And now my fucking scale is lying to me and my body is doing it's own bullshit and all I can think is...... Well you should fast as long as possible these next few days also bring the Cal count back down to 1000 or less because you're a fuck up and life is just wasted on you, you monster. If you can't fix anything or control anything in this world the least you can do is control your body. It's a series of inputs and outputs and the only thing in your way is you and your stupid fucking lack of self CONTROL.
Also I've been having PTSD nightmares and flashbacks and restlessness for the past two nights.
Someone please knock me out. Ugh.
[Other] I keep breaking my fasts with Capri suns
/u/slightlystruggling
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:52:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0k5a/i_keep_breaking_my_fasts_with_capri_suns/
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https://i.redd.it/7aokfufdkxw11.jpg
Just me, posing with my goal weight.
/u/justcallmesherlock
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:46:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0ikk/just_me_posing_with_my_goal_weight/
---
http://imgur.com/JGiXi2c
I'm so over this
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:46:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0ifv/im_so_over_this/
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No matter how much I restrict or purge I always just end up binging again and undoing all my hard work. I hate how fat I am.
My dad, who was very inappropriate with me when I was younger and used to sexualise my body, has made comments about how I look better curvy and has also said how I'm fat and should be careful.
I HATE that he makes comments about my body. Regardless of what they are, I wish could just cut every inch of disgusting flesh off myself so there was nothing to look at. I'm self conscious about the way I dress because I don't want him to look at me in a gross way. How fucked up is that.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Oddly satisfying
/u/noodlesandshit [173 cm | >50kg down | struggling ]
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:41:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0gsp/oddly_satisfying/
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https://i.redd.it/aibaodweixw11.jpg
possible to lose 15lbs by December 1?
/u/tifaloch
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:38:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0fxz/possible_to_lose_15lbs_by_december_1/
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just what the title says. it feels impossibly hard at this point. and i’m a whale.
Found this great post on what causes water weight gain after a binge, and how the body gets rid of it.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:105 | bmi: 18.6 | wl: -8.4 | F | 24]
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:35:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0f7l/found_this_great_post_on_what_causes_water_weight/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/4hq7e8/gut_water_i_had_a_little_revelation_about/
Who is your ultimate celebrity goal body/thinspo?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0dcy/who_is_your_ultimate_celebrity_goal_bodythinspo/
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Mine is Nina Dobrev because she is just freaking perfect and also my body bone structure is very similar to hers (just I am a lot more fat)
Hbu?
A food post I made ended up on a "jerk" subreddit and I honestly feel like crying.
/u/NocturnalNightingale
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:19:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v0a9j/a_food_post_i_made_ended_up_on_a_jerk_subreddit/
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I posted to another sub about fitting in a takeaway meal within my calories. I ended up deleting it (dem judgemental comments yo), but before I'd done that it was posted elsewhere with a title stating I had starved myself all day for that meal.
I have BED and previously this takeaway was a favourite of mine to binge on. I'm talking 3000-4000 cals on my old meals. I've been working so hard lately to curb my binging and was really proud of myself to order a much lower calorie meal from there and wanted to share my food choices with others. After reading some of the comments I just feel like crying. This food no longer feels safe and I feel like I can never eat it again, because I'll be judged whether I eat a lot of it or a small amount.
I also got judged on a separate post for not being "healthy" enough (a full 1200 cals). Food choices seem to be almost as controversial as politics like wtf.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend talks about how skinny other girls are and says it’s disgusting
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:109.5 | 17.09]
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:18:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v09wr/my_boyfriend_talks_about_how_skinny_other_girls/
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But then goes “you’re not that skinny though so at least you don’t look like that”
I think he means it as a compliment but it’s a slap to the face...
Ana group chat
/u/DontIgnoreMeAsshole [170| CW: 51kg | BMI:17,6 | WL: 4kg | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 08:17:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v09mj/ana_group_chat/
---
I'm making a group chat for anyone who wishes to join. The only requrements are that the group are going to be centered around motivating each other to lose weight :) We can share tips, thoughts, struggles and bond on a little closer level than this sub are able to allow us. <3 Send me a dm on instagram; thinspoo.and.motivation about you SW, CW and GW and I'll add you to our group chat :)
[Intro] Weight gain defeat.
/u/BobYouAreJesus
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:48:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9v00xy/weight_gain_defeat/
---
I have been following proED for sometime now, but never felt like posting until now.
I always been the fat kid in my family, even when I do lose weight they start throwing around that it's drugs that made me lose the weight or that I need to lose weight. Sometimes I am the smallest out of the family but they still make remarks on how big I am. I have a stuttering problem so my own looks have been my only chance I have to impress others, mostly my family.
My grandfather, who raised me ever since I was born, was rushed to the hospital last night after he passed out due to afib and was admitted. While in the ER waiting for a room to open up, he turned to me and said "are you pg?" I was shocked and confused by what he meant I finally understood he meant pregnant and I told him that it's impossible for me to become pregnant due to an infection I got years ago that left me infertile. Then the words fell from his mouth "then why have you been gaining so much weight?" It hit me hard, in February my uncle passed away and I've been bingeing a lot due to stress and for the past 2 weeks I have been on OMAD and trying so hard to lose the weight. I always fall into extremes with food, I either eat whenever and whatever with no exercise or so strict with food and following an exercise routine.
I've been alone on this journey, with my husband never noticing my problem, or simply not caring since my problem is very noticeable, and I wanted to tell somebody...anybody who will just listen.
​
[Rant/Rave] Overheard "Underweight" during transit
/u/StressedCookie
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:41:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzz1o/overheard_underweight_during_transit/
---
There was this group behind me that were so noisy until this girl's mom called her asking where she is, she says she's close and "No, mum. I couldn't donate blood because they told me I'm underweight."
My initial reaction was to roll my eyes because yeah, Janet, you look sexy and the epitome of a cute girl because you're underweight. Get over yourself. I also couldn't donate blood because I had surgery but you don't see me boasting about it.
It was clearly irrational but I just hate it. I'm in a school where every girl is thin and say "Im trying to gain weight" LIKE NO FELICIA QUIT BULLSHITTING ME I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TRYING SIT THE FUCK DOWN
Sigh. It's really irrational and I know people have their own struggles but I don't need "You'e fat and unattractive" constantly shoved at my face.
Stepdad died. Will I binge or restrict? Who the fuck knows.
/u/Throwthisaway512
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:37:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzxpy/stepdad_died_will_i_binge_or_restrict_who_the/
---
Just found out and what sucks is I was supposed to see him next week. I guess the two month cancer diagnosis really was only almost two weeks.
Feeling like restricting but just ate a French lavender macaroon w/ espresso as a treat. Can't log it due to MFP still being down. I'm using the tracker on my Fitbit but it's not the same :(
I just need a joint. Idk. I'm going to limit to 900, that's still high I guess.
[Rant/Rave] lmao nope @ that fast
/u/isaezraa [165 cm | cw 52 | gw 48 | 16 f ]
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:27:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzv3w/lmao_nope_that_fast/
---
yeah nah that fast wasn’t gonna work out. i couldn’t sleep and i felt like absolute garbage so i got up at 1am (so technically the next day) and had an 891cal omad of pure shit lol its gotten cravings out of the way though and ive planned the rest of my week to still average out at 600, so im feeling pretty ok but also very full
6 rye cruskits - 126
3 squares lint dark mint chocolate- 165
2 arnotts nice biscuits - 108
cloes mini cheese and bacon bun - 292
10 pascall marshmellows - 200
Has anyone here done Reddit Secret Santa? How'd that go?
/u/cocacolonization [5'8" |cw maintaining| 27F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:19:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzsry/has_anyone_here_done_reddit_secret_santa_howd/
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I'm a huge slut for Christmas and would love to do Secret Santa this year, but I'm worried my being active here would make it really awkward for everyone involved. I'm already full up on random hate and weird fetish DMs and would rather not invite more of that upon myself if I can help it.
Have any of you ever done the Secret Santa using the same usernames you use here?
Diet Green Tea from Sonic - 10 calories for the BIGGEST size and it's delicious
/u/VengefulBodied
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:15:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzros/diet_green_tea_from_sonic_10_calories_for_the/
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My go to low calorie drink besides white monster and water is Sonic's diet green tea. You can get the route 44 size, and it's amazing. You can add mango, raspberry, or pineapple flavoring to it. The pineapple has actual chunks in it, which is really nice. But this is my favorite drink to get while I'm out that helps me with hunger and I actually like the flavor.
[Tip] Gentle Reminder
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:14:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzrcm/gentle_reminder/
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https://i.redd.it/197savit2xw11.png
[Rant/Rave] my life is pathetic and so am I (vent)
/u/nobodyfast
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:12:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzqwo/my_life_is_pathetic_and_so_am_i_vent/
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cried for hours this morning because my weight was up 0.6lbs (I know it’s probably water weight or something because I’ve been restricting to <500cal for a month now). It wasn’t really about the weight I guess I’m just sick of feeling so awful and nobody seeming to realise. My friends know I suffer with severe depression but never check in on me even though I do sooo much for them.
I feel too ugly to go outside, not just my body but my face and everything about me is just too vile for people to look at. I truly hate myself and I wish I didn’t.
I feel so lonely with my mental health the only people who understand are you guys and that’s pretty pathetic in itself that the only people I feel safe with are other disordered eaters. I’m 20 soon and my life is still a pathetic mess I really don’t know why I even get out of bed most days when every day is worse than the last.
Sorry for being so depressing but everything just got very on top of me today. The only way I’m able to leave the house and be productive is if I get a bit high and I don’t want to be stuck in that cycle of dependency on drugs. idk man I just want this to be over with, everyone promised it gets better but it never gets better.
[Help] How do you add your stats next to your name?
/u/Anavosa
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzqw4/how_do_you_add_your_stats_next_to_your_name/
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As the title says. I see a bunch of you with stats next to your name. I feel like if I add mine and I see it, it’ll give me more motivation to lose weight.
[Discussion] Worst things said to you on the subject of your weight
/u/countdowntocontrol
Created: Wed Nov 7 07:07:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzpl8/worst_things_said_to_you_on_the_subject_of_your/
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* My older sister, 14, when I was 11 and made a joke about a brief walk being strenuous exercise - "Oh come on, you're not THAT big"
* My mother, when I was 13 and wearing a new outfit, feeling really good about myself - "You look fine. You've still got a long way to go, though"
* My dad, when I was 9 or 10, and didn't want to go for a hike - "You need to exercise. Do you want to grow up and be one of those women who needs plastic surgery to be attractive?"
* My little sister, when I was maybe 9 - "You're very big around the waist"
* My mother, during a family meal when I was 13 and had recovered (and regained the weight) from my first major bout with my ED - "It's funny. Last year we couldn't get her to eat anything, and this year we can't get her to stop eating"
* My mother, when I was 7 - "You need to stop eating so much"
There are many others, I'm sure. I don't think they love me very much when I'm not starving myself. I don't mean to upset anybody with this and hope I don't. It just motivates me in a sick way. If anybody wants to vent or commiserate feel free.
[Help] Please help me (light)
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 06:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzmdn/please_help_me_light/
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I’m really struggling on whether or not I should eat breakfast/today. Eating breakfast means I get to eat today, otherwise I won’t.
I really, really want to fast but I also... I don’t know. Normally the split isn’t so strong between the ED side and not, but I’m really struggling with myself over this.
I want to lose the weight, I hit the 118s (With clothes on!) yesterday after my Sunday fast- meaning I’m officially underweight which is super exciting and motivating! But at the same time, I know eating is obviously important. And whatever. Agh.
I just feel like I shouldn’t and that I don’t deserve it, really, I’m so disgusting because I ate yesterday, and man. It’s tough. Please help me
From blessed to cursed in 5 minutes
/u/guava_pastille [5'8"| HW: 205 | CW: 153 | BMI 23.3 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 06:27:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzeen/from_blessed_to_cursed_in_5_minutes/
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Weighed myself as I usually do in the AM after a shower but before drinking any water or putting on clothes. Looks like I’ve gained 2 lbs! Makes sense since I ate 90,000 tortilla chips, and mac and cheese during a torturous weekend spent out of town with friends away from my routine/safe foods (does not help these friends are foodies and are thinking about next meals all the time).
Dawns on me that I am still wearing a heavy, water-laden towel around my head.
2 lbs whoosh away! Back to my LW. 🤗
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like they’re skinny and fat at the same time?
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 06:23:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzdhi/dae_feel_like_theyre_skinny_and_fat_at_the_same/
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I feel like my body dysmorphia is all over the place. I range from thinking I’m as small as I was at my LW (then getting a shocking surprise when things look awful on me or I don’t fit into certain sizes) to thinking I’m huge and ginormous and obese.
I have no fucking idea how big or small I am at the same time as being sure of what I look like. It’s such a confusing jumble in my head.
Anyone else like this???
Side note - today my friend was saying how she has a pair of pants that are really small and how they don’t fit her and I thought I was smaller than her so I said can I try them on and she’s like “no they’re too small for you they’d only fit [petite teeeeeeny underweight friend] we’re the same size.”
Like wat. Those pants didn’t look THAT small and I didn’t think we were the same size, but what if I’m wrong and my head is all outta wack when it comes to sizing?!? Agh I literally can’t I just wish I didn’t have a body sometimes 😭😭
[Rant/Rave] New favorite thing at work
/u/habituallywondering [5’8F| CW: 160| GW: 140 | SW: 205]
Created: Wed Nov 7 06:22:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzdbi/new_favorite_thing_at_work/
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So I work overnights at a residential facility. Every night our boss brings around the leftover food from the day and asks if anyone wants some. Every night I work I politely decline. Well, apparently it’s gotten around that I don’t eat the work food because the other night I worked with someone and when the food got offered, they answered for me, saying “Don’t bother, she never eats.” At first it was a bit annoying having someone answer for me. But now I’m just floating, thrilled that I’ve made restriction enough of a habit that other people actually notice.
[Discussion] DAE have a sixth sense for other anorexics?
/u/alittlewiser
Created: Wed Nov 7 06:19:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uzcec/dae_have_a_sixth_sense_for_other_anorexics/
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There's this girl I go to college with and I totally predicted that she's anorexic - less from the looks than the mannerisms. She's an athlete so she has her own extreme workout schedule to adhere to - and yet I saw her at the non-athlete's gym on weekday evenings (so she's at least doing two a day workouts if not more). Then, I started spying on her at the dining hall and she only eats fruit and sunflower seeds... I asked my friend if she thought it was weird and my friend told me she looked healthy BUT I FUCKING KNOW that girl has an ED since I've been through one and can totally tell when someone has one. Fast forward two months and now she got sent to rehab for it. Anyone have this eery ability?
[Help] PCOS
/u/ie63
Created: Wed Nov 7 06:06:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uz8xi/pcos/
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Anyone else on here struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome? I was recently diagnoised and didnt think too much of it. I have been taking medication for it for almost 2 months now. Do you think its effected your weight loss?
Im very frustrated at the moment, I havent lost any weight for almost a month.. thats not a plateau 😒 now of course I havent been perfect during that month but im a heavier weight (see stats) and I feel like I shouldve lost at least a few pounds.
Anyways, I guess kinda just wondering if any of you struggling with PCOS have any adivce/tips on things yoy have noticed that have helped you.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] I don’t know if I’m ugly, I just constantly worry that I am
/u/godonvideocall [163.8cm | 113 | 19.40 | 18 | f/queer]
Created: Wed Nov 7 06:04:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uz8h0/rantrave_i_dont_know_if_im_ugly_i_just_constantly/
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I’ve always been complimented, but I’ve also spent my life sheltered and homeschooled. I have no idea what real people think of me because I’ve never been around real people, like not really ya know?
I’ve been called pretty by people my age. I’ve known boys that had a crush on me, according to my friends who informed me that ‘You are so clueless, he’s just flirting/shy/etc’, and one that I just picked up on.
(Worth mentioning that I was the only one in my friend group, guys included, that had never been to a real school.)
But I don’t trust even that as a sign that like ‘eh maybe I’m like a 5.7, I’ll take it, 10/10 won’t be forever alone maybe’.
It feels like a big conspiracy, like I’m on the Truman Show and it’s just people laughing at how ugly I am. The only compliment I’ve ever received that I believe is about my weight; I can see that I’ve always been smaller than the people around me, I can see the number on the scale.
I’ve always naturally maintained a pretty low weight, by societal standards at least, but now it’s become this. Like I don’t know what my face looks like, I just hate it on principle, but yeah I’m gonna have a nice, thin, toned body. At least I’ll be a butterface ig, lmao
[Rant/Rave] Just 20lbs
/u/agentcherrycola [5’11” | cw: 155ish | bmi: 21.6 | lw: 134 | f]
Created: Wed Nov 7 05:49:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uz4rp/just_20lbs/
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Just over a year ago I was 20lbs lighter. This doesn't sound like very much when I say it out loud, especially on my 5'11" frame. And yet the clothes I used to wear cut in or don't fit over my hips. I know I've changed shape; grown bigger breasts and wider hips. I thought I was done with puberty when I got tits at 12. Last summer, my hair was greying but my cheekbones were so beautiful. Now they are almost invisible and my collarbones the same. Nothing fits over my wide hipbones but it gapes at my waist. It feels like my clothes are lying to me, 20lbs couldn't be the difference between 2 dress sizes. Yet my waist is small enough to be gaping. That feels like another lie - my hips and breasts have widened enough to force me up another size while my waist pretends to be small. But it still doesn't fit my old size. All these beautiful clothes and pictures from when I thought I was finally approaching perfect now just taunt me. My stomach is getting flatter but my hips are so huge. I feel like a sex toy. All blown up in just the right places to please men. It feels like my body is betraying me.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 7 05:10:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uyvs1/daily_food_diary_november_07_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 07, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday November 07, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 7 05:09:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uyvhe/way_to_go_wednesday_november_07_2018/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for November 07, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Fibre: a magical discovery
/u/sky-circles [5'5.5 | CW:150.8|BMI: 24.7 | HW: 174.6| LW: 131.8| F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 04:57:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uysk8/fibre_a_magical_discovery/
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Is it a universal ED thing that we all love to poop? Anyway, I bought some sugar free Metamucil last week, and let me tell you guys, this is amazing. For the uninitiated Metamucil is a powder that you mix with water and drink and it contains a lot of fibre, which makes you poop like EVERY day. Wow. And bonus it gets kinda thick and gross and gel like if you don't immediately chug it, which makes me kinda nauseous. Wow. This has been a PSA.
Anyone willing to coach me/keep me from bingeing using meanspo techniques
/u/AbjectRepresentative
Created: Wed Nov 7 04:21:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uylge/anyone_willing_to_coach_mekeep_me_from_bingeing/
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Earlier I fooled myself into thinking I was starting to look actually skinny. I'm terrified that fatlogic is taking over my mind. I'm looking for someone who can treat me like the subhuman I am when I make bad choices. I already know that most people in my life want me to kill myself but it'd be nice to have someone who only thinks this when I use fat logic.
I miss not having a period
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|117lbs|19.2|-19lbs|F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 03:52:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uyfuk/i_miss_not_having_a_period/
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I mean I get that its unhealthy but the water weight I gain when I'm pmsing is driving me insane. I also felt like my ed was~less valid~ when I got my period back, which is ridiculous, because I was in treatment and in the middle of the weight restoration process. So like...my ed had already been validated and there's no reason for me to have that reaction??? Ugh.
Also, on a completely unrelated note, I got drunk tonight and b/p'd so hard and now my throat hurts like a motherfucker. Why do I do this to myself 😩
Why am I not losing weight?
/u/UnlikelyTaste
Created: Wed Nov 7 03:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uy87g/why_am_i_not_losing_weight/
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I’ve been restricting to 500-1000 calories per day and when I look in the mirror I can notice that I’ve lost weight but the number on the scale just won’t lower? Can any body reassure me or just tell me what to do?
[Discussion] Triggering books?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 02:59:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uy65q/triggering_books/
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What are some triggering books that you have read? For me it’s The Devil Wears Prada, even though it has pretty much nothing to do with anorexia.
[Discussion] How many cals do you guys limit yourselves to a day?
/u/pinkribbon007
Created: Wed Nov 7 02:53:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uy52e/how_many_cals_do_you_guys_limit_yourselves_to_a/
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I'm usually around the 600-800 mark. What about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] The dumbest reason
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Wed Nov 7 02:31:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uy0yz/the_dumbest_reason/
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So I posted a while ago about how I left my abusive exes and I kinda (naively) thought all disordered habits would go away but like, not really
I met this guy on tinder and we started having sex but I have to wait a while to have sex with him again because he’s in the Coast Guard of all things and I do not live near a single fucking Coast
And he said his favorite position was having sex with the girl and lifting her up standing up and I was like “I hope I’m not too heavy, I’m 135 pounds and really tall”
And he was just like “my ex was 160 and I had no problems so it’ll be fine”
And I’m just like well :) now I have to get down to 135 :) because now that I’m at 137 he’ll clearly take note of a 2 pound difference!
Like I know he wouldn’t notice, or care. Idk just kinda thought I’d be “cured” all of a sudden. I bought all this fruit at the grocery store being like “I will eat healthy, and a greater volume of food, rather than eating 1 meal a day of McDonald’s” and then I fucking Did Not do that.
[Rant/Rave] i can fast tomorrow. i can and i will (cringe warning, sorry)
/u/isaezraa [165 cm | cw 52 | gw 48 | 16 f ]
Created: Wed Nov 7 02:17:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uxyfr/i_can_fast_tomorrow_i_can_and_i_will_cringe/
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i can do this. millions of people have done it before. *i* have done it before.
i need to think about how good it’ll feel to wake up tomorrow and know that i did it. how bad it’d feel if i dont.
about how good it’ll feel to watch the number go down, to be closer to maintenance, to re calculate my bmi. think about how bad it’d feel to see those numbers get higher.
about how good it’ll feel marking it off on the calendar. how bad itd feel to had to admit ive failed, that im weak.
about how good it’ll feel to take that first bite friday morning. how bad itd feel to take it early
about how good it’ll feel, waking up tan, trying on clothes, taking small measurements. how bad itd feel to know that i was so close.
about how good it’ll feel to know that ive come so far and know that now it’ll be easier to go even further. how bad it’d feel to cut it short.
if i want to binge, i can make that decision on friday morning. it can wait.
European peach?
/u/eattillithurts
Created: Wed Nov 7 02:02:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uxvk4/european_peach/
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Hi, any europeans here? Peach feels lonely when i am on cause half of the USA is sleeping 😞. I would be happy if i would be added. I am a friendless nobody i think
@thinme
Need some comfort, advice and kind words :(
/u/Throwayaytyyayay
Created: Wed Nov 7 01:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uxsze/need_some_comfort_advice_and_kind_words/
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Hey guys- typical long time lurker and first time poster. Just had a really shit moment at work. I'm a pastry chef/ cake decorator. Which makes it INCREDIBLY hard not to eat all the cake and baked goods that are always available to me, especially because I've developed the biggest sweet tooth.
I've been eating really badly this past week and today I was supposed to be fasting. Made it until 3pm then I had the kitchen to myself and literally STUFFED 6 cupcakes into my mouth. Barely had enough time to even taste it.
Totally broke down kneeling next to the toilet seat and tried to vomit it out even though I've never purged before.
I'm having so much trouble just sticking to eating properly and not overdoing it. I need some advice guys. How do you do it? I drink coffee, but I find that it doesn't help stop my appetite all that much.
I'm not a big soda or energy drink drinker but do you think maybe I should start drinking diet soda drinks/ monster to help curb my cravings?
Sorry about the long post. Any kind words, advice or words of wisdom will be really appreciated.
Hope you all had a good day 💕
[Help] Horrible Acne While Restricting?
/u/Work_In_Regress [5'6"| Don't ask don't tell | GW: 120| UGW: 110 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 7 01:09:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uxljt/horrible_acne_while_restricting/
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Title says it all folks. I've been restricting for a while now and have noticed that every damn time I do this, my acne gets 5x worse. Is this just me, or does anyone else experience this?
Also, any tips to combat this besides usual acne treatments?
[Help] I don't know what to do, I might be in danger?
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Wed Nov 7 00:25:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uxcsn/i_dont_know_what_to_do_i_might_be_in_danger/
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So I have a history of mental illness that include depression, anxiety and an eating disorder.
I just cried for an entire hour because depression and decided to take 6 apo naproxen' and I think that might've been enough for an overdose and idk what to do and I'm scared I just fucked myself over and I'm going to die.
[Rant/Rave] My state just legalized and I don't know how to feel about it
/u/lattephobia
Created: Wed Nov 7 00:09:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ux9av/my_state_just_legalized_and_i_dont_know_how_to/
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Pretty much what it says in the title.
I let my med card expire last May after a few years because I was A) Binging like a mofo whenever I smoked and B) Getting constantly worked up into a paranoid frenzy that the world was ending every night.
Like, I'm happy we're number 10. I really am. But I'm also nervous and kind of salty about it? Like, it'll be a good thing for the roads, for people who could benefit from a toke every once in a while but didn't want to jump through the hoops to get a card, for the city to make a comeback in a green rush, etc.
But not for me, because I'd be a grubby little chocolate-stained fat-fat screeching about WWIII and the ice caps to anyone within earshot.
It feels vaguely unfair. I just regained this magical insight over the past few months that I don't actually need a chemical crutch to function. I do crazy just fine all by myself. Don't get me wrong, pot is great, but the compulsive overeating it was triggering and hitting that point of counterproductivity with the anxiety I was originally using it to cope with just weren't worth the bomb-ass yoga sessions anymore. And now it'll be around so much more that it's like having a big delicious pie cooling on the counter that smells like promises and happiness but you know will just be full of bad feels in your stomach.
And don't even get me started on the hawt st0ner girl 420nurses aesthetic. I don't know if I want to fuck them or roll with them but I know I'll never be one.
Idk what this even is. I just had to put it down somewhere someone might relate, because trees and entwives just... *reeeallly* wouldn't appreciate the conflict I'm having about Such A Blessing right now.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk, tagline "I voted for it now I'm whining about it"
[Rant/Rave] Headed for a breakdown, doubling down on ED behaviors
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Tue Nov 6 23:18:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwxx8/headed_for_a_breakdown_doubling_down_on_ed/
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TW: suicidal thoughts
Rambly rant ahead
I just found out that one of my best friends is officially moving in with her long time bf... over an hour away. My other best friend(read: both of my only friends) is probably getting an engagement ring for Christmas, not that we talk much anymore anyway. I feel like I invest so much into friendships but it feels pretty one sided, only getting enough back for me to know that we are in fact friends.
Now with my only friends leaving me for their own amazing lives, I’m faced with the fact that I’m a year away from graduating college and I haven’t made any meaningful friendships because I’ve always had to work because my family is fucking poor and I’m mad at the world that my life never seems to work out like I thought it would.
My only hope is to starve myself until I’m skinny and attractive enough that maybe people will go out of their way to be friendly to me since obviously I’m too painfully awkward to make friends on my own. Maybe once I’m skinny I’ll have a chance at some hot girl thinking I’m also hot and wanting to date me. Maybe once I’m skinny my life will magically be better because the world is nicer to pretty people, right?
I’m really struggling to find a meaningful reason to live. Because it really doesn’t seem like my life will ever stop being sad and pathetic.
Lately I’ve really started to understand what everyone means by “I can’t control everything but I can control what I eat.” It seems like keeping myself from eating is the last thing in my life I truly have control over.
Sharing an ebook of poems and illustrations I made about my ED (inspired by the milk and honey format). Hope you guys can enjoy it and find solace in knowing you aren’t alone!!
/u/pokeisbae
Created: Tue Nov 6 23:11:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwwg0/sharing_an_ebook_of_poems_and_illustrations_i/
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https://www.flipsnack.com/elizabethstewart111/kt-project-by-elizabeth-stewart.html
[Rant/Rave] Work Uniform Didn't Fit. Twice.
/u/ellatheghost
Created: Tue Nov 6 23:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uww5z/work_uniform_didnt_fit_twice/
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Had my first training shift for my first job yesterday. They handed me the uniform to change into, and I couldn't even reach the button on the pants. The two clasp things wouldn't even reach, and it took so much effort not to cry. So, suffering from an ass load of embarrassment, I asked for the correct size. Yeah, at least they did technically give me the wrong size but I SHOULD be able to fit that size anyway, really. Anyway, they gave me my normal size and it didn't even fit properly. Underneath the apron, I looked disgusting. And yet today I continued to eat more than I should. Being home alone all day is bad for my eating habits (sigh). I need more self control. Sorry for the ranty post, can't talk about this with anyone else.
I wrote an ebook of poems and illustrations (milk and honey inspired format) I made about eds and the mental struggle we face.
/u/pokeisbae
Created: Tue Nov 6 23:07:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwvhw/i_wrote_an_ebook_of_poems_and_illustrations_milk/
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https://www.flipsnack.com/elizabethstewart111/kt-project-by-elizabeth-stewart.html
I'm a lurker
/u/CaramelSteez
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:57:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwt3w/im_a_lurker/
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Hi guys. I recently discovered this subreddit about a week ago and have read a lot of the stories about what you guys go through on a daily basis. With the creepy men trying to take advantage of you, the mean and insensitive comments you get from friends and family, and the way people use your lifestyle choices going as a way to discredit you, it honestly breaks my heart. I have spent a lot of time here because tbh, I knew next to nothing about EDs until recently. I have been able to observe and listen to you guys open up and have honest discussions about it, which has given me a great deal of perspective. I feel like I've learned a lot in the past week, and I think it has made me much more sensitive to this kind of thing. I hope that is okay to say and I sincerely apologise if I have offended anyone by my saying anything. I hope you guys had a good day, and have a great tomorrow.
Having to "diet" to lose weight makes me feel terrible
/u/floofernaut [5'5 | CW: 130 | BMI: 21.6 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:53:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uws04/having_to_diet_to_lose_weight_makes_me_feel/
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I'm 17. People keep telling me that when they were my age they could eat whatever they want and not get fat. I keep hearing people say that they wish that their jeans size was as low as it was in high school. I hear about people being "lanky" and "skinny" teens. I see old friends from even elementary school on Instagram and they all have perfect flat stomachs and toned bodies. My sister is 15 and she is a ballerina and she eats basically whatever she wants. I remember one of my teachers telling me, "It must be rough living with your sister, not that you're ugly, but she's just gorgeous." My friends remark on how skinny she is.
I am 5'6 and 135 lbs now, up 5 lbs from a few months ago, up 15 lbs from 1-2 years ago, can't seem to stop binging.
The fact that I have to diet and restrict to even have a hope of losing any weight makes me feel weird and abnormal, like I have to try extra hard to meet a standard that most people meet effortlessly and normally. I binge just to prove to myself that I can be "normal" too and eat whatever I want and not gain a pound... but here I am, 15 lbs heavier than last year.
It's so fucking unfair and I hate myself all the time for it. I want to be effortlessly pretty like everyone's told me I can be and I'm just fucking fat and ugly. On one hand I want to do anything possible to lose that weight but on the other hand I keep living in denial of the fact that I DO gain weight when I eat badly and that beauty does NOT come effortlessly to me... anyone else ever feel like this?
[Rant/Rave] i gave up (whining a lot)
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:52:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwru7/i_gave_up_whining_a_lot/
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i gave up not eating because im weak
i gave up restricting because the boy i liked seemed too worried and i wanted to spend time with him (a food lover) so i started eating
only to gain all the weight i painfully lost, only for him to leave and only for me to end up back on square one: alone and unhappy with how i look
i hate how i look now and i hate how i feel about how i look
i wish i never stopped, i stopped because im weak
i wish i was back at the place i was when the year began, i gave up thinking i was being brave but i was just being stupid
theres not been a day since then that i havent felt like i made a huge mistake, regreting making the choice of "recovering"
i was never ready for recovery, i will never be
im back at that same place now (only heavier), i feel like pure shit
i feel like i have to make things right again
i can fix it right? i fixed it once, i can fix it again now
lets just hope im not a little bitch this time
I'm a hazard to myself
/u/Suchsmolsuchwow
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:48:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwqyi/im_a_hazard_to_myself/
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I was doing great, I lost a bunch of weight. Went from 230 to 185, had surgery to get fake boobs which weight 5lbs. Since then Ive gained another 15, putting me to 206. I hate it. So I've stopped taking my anti anxiety meds to trigger myself to lose weight. Except the anxiety is hella intense over everything else now and I feel myself slipping into this pit of self hatred. So either I can be a huge bundle of nerves and anxiety or I can be skinny. Choice seems clear to me 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
[Discussion] Does anyone actually have Russell’s Sign? I always look out for it on other people, but mine always disappears overnight~
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 23.5” waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwovb/does_anyone_actually_have_russells_sign_i_always/
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https://i.redd.it/bste08l6juw11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] having a rough time (i mention eating a lot)
/u/sofdesoft
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:28:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwlt9/having_a_rough_time_i_mention_eating_a_lot/
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so ive been eating a lot lately because i thought i was okay but i guess i never really was
​
i feel awful
​
im thinking of doubling my cardio hour and stop eating so god damn much i literally ate and not even an hour later i was craving something else im just never not eating this year fckn sucks
i hate feeling like this because i just want to cry
[Rant/Rave] I just went through a hard break up and I'm disgusted by food.
/u/Bomby57
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:27:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwlj2/i_just_went_through_a_hard_break_up_and_im/
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I don't know if it's the constant need to cry or the fact that I hate myself, but I just don't want to eat ever again. I still do, when I'm at the office, which is 3 meals a working week.
I know that eating "normally" can bring your mood up but I guess I gave up, and I don't know if I'm happy or delirious because of the weight I lost already.
I've always been between thin and skinny, but losing those kg I gained before gave me some sense of worth.
[Discussion] My dreams are made in photoshop
/u/agentcherrycola [5’11” | cw: 155ish | bmi: 21.6 | lw: 134 | f]
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:17:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwiyi/my_dreams_are_made_in_photoshop/
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https://i.redd.it/d28txlnyorw11.jpg
[Help] what is grounds for inpatient?
/u/sonofagun70124
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:09:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwh17/what_is_grounds_for_inpatient/
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tomorrow I'm having my first consultation with a psych so I can get therapy. its for depression or basically whatever issues i have-- got hotlined cuz i had a panic attack and mentioned s*icide. but I wanna get better so I want to be honest with them. thing is I absolutely cannot afford to miss work.
basically: what's going to make them admit me (other than the obvious like fainting)? im nearly 17, and my bmi is 16.3. i experience blackouts a little but I don't really keel over and faint. my average daily intake is around 400 calories. so like, if I tell the folks at the psych unit I restrict intensely and am prone to fasting, will iget admitted or just watched? I know there's a real possibility of weekly weighing if i do that which worries me but I'll manage.
thanks in advance 👉👉
[Discussion] Does saunas aid in weight loss?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:08:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwgpm/does_saunas_aid_in_weight_loss/
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Just curious. I find that I lose weight faster in hot weather. Also I know it could be water weight but maybe it triggers the whoosh effect to occur faster? Since break down of fat cells = water release and sweating gets rid of the water so maybe you end up with a lower weight??
[Discussion] What ED thing did you swear you'd never do, until you did?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW:124lbs | HW:160lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 22:05:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwfw2/what_ed_thing_did_you_swear_youd_never_do_until/
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Mine's laxatives. I never understood the point off shitting my arsehole out if it didn't help weight loss. But when I tried it, I felt so empty, like I was just cleansed and baptised. I miss this a bit, as I've been 3 months laxative-free, but my digestive system thanks me for it and I'm a lot less bloated now.
Is there any reason that I should not throw up after overeating?
/u/ofimmsl
Created: Tue Nov 6 21:53:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwcty/is_there_any_reason_that_i_should_not_throw_up/
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I'm a male who abused alcohol(probably classified as an alcoholic) for 3 years so I became really good at making myself vomit. Now im on a diet and abstaining from alcohol but about once a week I will break my diet and overeat.
When that happens I take antacids then make myself throw it up. It doesnt hurt, it isnt violent, it just moves out easily, so is there actual harm from overeating and purging once a week?
[Rant/Rave] yet another sleepless night where i’m crying about how i look and what my life has come to.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Tue Nov 6 21:43:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uwa86/yet_another_sleepless_night_where_im_crying_about/
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can i just have normal thoughts?
[Discussion] dae not know what they look like??
/u/beanmachine420
Created: Tue Nov 6 21:40:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uw9cy/dae_not_know_what_they_look_like/
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not sure if this is related ,, but i’ve been lurking awhile and really upset looking at pictures so i figured i’d post. i literally have no idea what my body (or really even my face) looks like. every time i look in the mirror, camera, different pictures or down at myself i have a different perception and i don’t know which one to believe. i can’t trust what people say bc they will always lie and say the nicest thing they can. not to mention my view will change minutes apart. i will look down at my knees and they’ll look slightly skinny (like when your knee bone sticks out and looks especially boney) but then 2 min later my thighs look fat and i realize how i look and i’m horrified again. idk if it sounds weird but for once i just want someone to give me the truth but idk why
It's gonna be so hard not to purge
/u/cherie-amore
Created: Tue Nov 6 21:32:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uw7ch/its_gonna_be_so_hard_not_to_purge/
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https://i.redd.it/gbas7bi67uw11.jpg
Another I hate my body post.
/u/homestuckintraffic
Created: Tue Nov 6 21:26:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uw5fh/another_i_hate_my_body_post/
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I gained about 70 pounds from being on Abilify and now I'm stuck with this fat body. I didn't have curves before but now I do. I'm a trans guy, so that makes having curves even worse. I just feel HUGE. I want to be 120 lbs again.
[Rant/Rave] Mental breakdown over popcorn and other interesting vignettes
/u/beezythegiraffe
Created: Tue Nov 6 21:13:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uw1v9/mental_breakdown_over_popcorn_and_other/
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So today I was driving to work and trying to eat my OMAD -- 2 cups of SkinnyPop popcorn (39 cal/cup) when the unthinkable happened.
It spilled.
Yes, my wonderful, beautiful, delicious popcorn went flying all over my car and I. Freaked. Out. Crying, screaming, punching the dash, trying to carpet sniff clean popcorns off the car floor (in the fast lane, ofc). I never recovered all my popcorns and so I stopped at a gas station to find something to replace my OMAD -- a snickerdoodle cookie. Great! I love cookies!!
Except for these, which are apparently 700 FUCKING CALORIES A COOKIE I MEAN WHAT THE HELL
so yeah basically I hate myself and my day was literal hell and now I'm at work trying not to pass out :) :) also I really wish I was rich because I would kill for inpatient right now because I am on the verge of either suicide or a mental breakdown and I spend hours every night panicking for no reason:) :) #glamorizeanorexiamore!
How was everyone's Tuesdays?!
[Rant/Rave] I thought I wanted help. But maybe I didn’t.
/u/_idealixtic
Created: Tue Nov 6 21:09:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uw0uh/i_thought_i_wanted_help_but_maybe_i_didnt/
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I told my psychiatrist (he does talk therapy with me) about my recent relapse, he didn’t do anything wrong, he was kind, empathetic, and reassuring, but I am freaking the fuck out. I don’t even know why, I’m just so panicked, I’ve been crying for hours. I can’t believe I told him. I’m so ashamed, I feel like I already have a million other problems and then I drop this too. Telling him about my planned B/P sessions will definitely go down in the books as one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I’m so over everything. Fuck me.
[Help] What is a whoosh ;c
/u/crystal_methmath
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:59:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvxx2/what_is_a_whoosh_c/
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I feel so dumb for not knowing what it is pls educate me :(
[Other] When you just started a binge and the wrapper tells you to chill out 😭
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:47:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvugn/when_you_just_started_a_binge_and_the_wrapper/
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https://i.redd.it/qhk2wtv0ztw11.jpg
Confidence boost omfg
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvsx2/confidence_boost_omfg/
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I just left the gym and these two girls stopped me and told me that my body was gorgeous and that I had such a flat stomach and asked me my workout routine!! They kept complimenting me and I was like “omg no that’s like not true I have on control tights!” they are so kind wow. That’s the boost I needed to not eat the rest of the night that is for sure.
[Goal] I never understood how stoners could be so skinny until
/u/mennnaai [5’4/ cw 111 / hw 200 👹/ gw 100🧝🏻♀️]
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:12:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvjyl/i_never_understood_how_stoners_could_be_so_skinny/
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I got high at my highest weight, I was aware of everything including my fat.
My legs hurt because my skin was so pulled by the fat, almost as if I could **feel** the stretch marks forming.
It was terrifying and upsetting pushing me into a binge cycle.
That was a year ago.
Now I’m restricting high out of my mind bc fasting and baking makes things so much easier all of this *without munchies*.
I’m exited for the future, feeling this in control is👌🏻😩👌🏻.
I’m being forced to eat by my SO but **I can choose whatever I want as long as I eat something every so often and get checked by a doc every 2 months**
I just get blood work done and that’s it.
No questions.
No more moaning or “why are you not eating” by any of the people I’m usually around and nobody outside of them even asks why I don’t eat, everyone just assumes I’m a hippy pot head in my friend group so they mostly offer vegan stuff, strangers only approach me at work and my office uniform covers my shape enough to look healthy.
11lbs to my goal weight and I’m staying there.
Finally I’m sort of in track
[Discussion] How do you navigate eating in public?
/u/xxxanon1117
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:12:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvjs1/how_do_you_navigate_eating_in_public/
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It has been months since my partner and I have been on a food-date because I am petrified of eating in diners or restaurants. I feel such shame being seen with food that if my partner and I are eating a meal together, I ask him not to look at me and some kind of music or TV program has to be playing to drown out the sounds of chewing. If he comments on my food, I instinctually cry or get pissed and cant eat. Last time I ate at a diner, I planned my meal days in advanced, prepped the person I was with to not draw attention to my weirdness around food, and it was all ruined by the server making comments like "are you sure that's what you want?" "Wow" and "you ate all that!? Good job!".
WhyYYYyyyy would anyone say "good job!"?
I'm 20, not 2.
TL;DR: I am so afraid of things being out of my control that I am too afraid to eat out at restaurants or diners, how do you do it?
More reasons to drink cold water
/u/lykaeria [165cm | CW 51kg | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:09:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvj5w/more_reasons_to_drink_cold_water/
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Sometimes I convince myself my ED isn’t as bad as it really is but I suddenly remembered all my science classes and decided to calculate the amount of calories burned from drinking cold water (instead of looking it up bc I’m smart ofc)
Anyways since 1g of water requires 1cal of energy to heat it by 1C, 8 250ml (250g) cups of water at 10 degrees Celsius requires 54kcal to heat it to body temperature (37C), making the amount of calories burned 6,750 aka 6.75 kcal per glass. So depending on how cold your water is, drinking 8 cups can burn 50-60 kcal a day and if you’re like me, who basically inhales 12 cups a day to distract myself from my raging depression and binge eating tendencies, that’s like an additional 30 kcal.
Honestly not sure why I’m posting this but if you’re ever curious about exactly how many calories you’re burning by drinking cold water, here you go.
[Rant/Rave] Losertown is the best motivation for me right now.
/u/okbunnie
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:07:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvijc/losertown_is_the_best_motivation_for_me_right_now/
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I absolutely LOVE going onto losertown and seeing where I can get at with eating my maximum of 500 calories. It says I can be 105lbs by January 15th and just seeing that makes me excited and not want to binge. Any temptation I get I always think back to that motivation.
[Rant/Rave] In which a recovery-relapse hoe overshares...
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 88.6 | 16.7 | -25 | 21F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvhkc/in_which_a_recoveryrelapse_hoe_overshares/
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https://i.redd.it/78ujpgvgrtw11.jpg
Avo toast
/u/versperalaxis
Created: Tue Nov 6 20:00:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvg1w/avo_toast/
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and me purging bc hello darkness my old friend
Dealing w/ pizza cravings
/u/its_scorpio_season [5'4" | CW: 154.8 | 26.6 | -2.2 | 23F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvech/dealing_w_pizza_cravings/
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Curious how you guys handle pizza cravings.
I live in NYC, so the pizza force is strong with this one.
Ran to the grocery store after work and looked at a bunch of microwavable pizza, but in the end went with 100 cal english muffins and babybel cheese. Added some leftover pasta sauce and popped in the microwave for little pizzas.
Honestly, would recommend. Tasted better I think than the microwave "diet" pizza would have been.
But I know this is far from groundbreaking stuff, so curious for a more creative option.
To those of you in the United States with me...
/u/Diet123x [5'3 | cw 137 | gw 110 🍉🥑🍟🍔]
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:51:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvddd/to_those_of_you_in_the_united_states_with_me/
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I just wanted to write this out as a reminder to myself and all of you, because honestly all of this political talk and heated social media noise has been triggering and I’ve been struggling to not binge it all away....
You matter. And regardless of your political leanings or how the election turns out tonight, you deserve to feel safe and you deserve to be loved. You deserve the space to exist and to thrive. I love you all. Take care of yourselves.
First b/p episode
/u/cattivity
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:47:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uvca5/first_bp_episode/
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Not proud of it. My boyfriend went to work and I was just filled with loneliness when he left. Food seemed like the answer but god knows I can't deal with the guilt and the fear I have after I binge. Took a trip to the grocery store. Spent 25 dollars on cake, 3 donuts, ice cream, whipped cream, and fucking...hot dog buns. (Hot dog buns + whipped cream have been on my mind for days. It's bizarre). I think most of it is in the trash can now. You guys I'm so far up my eating disorder's ass. My body is so fucking tired. I feel like garbage. ):
I just want to be skinny but I feel so alone all the time and I just want to drink and eat pizza and I don't feel like I have any energy to channel into something productive. Ugh.
Sidenote: this may sound like I'm asking for tips. I'm not. I'm just wondering, if I purged until my earlier meal started coming up (one I did not intend to purge) does that mean I got most if not, all of my binge food up?
[Tip] I did the math so you don't have to!
/u/800goat [5'6 | CW:125 | 20.2 | -21 | M]
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:35:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uv8la/i_did_the_math_so_you_dont_have_to/
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I had one measly little brown banana wilting away in my kitchen, so I decided to save it by making [This](http://www.theburlapbag.com/2012/07/2-ingredient-cookies-plus-the-mix-ins-of-your-choice/) recipe.
I searched up and down for the calorie count for a single chocolate chip, but it seems that nobody else on the internet seems to be as egregiously obsessive over calories as I am. So I did the math.
One tablespoon of miniature chocolate chips comes out to be approximately 94 chips, which is 70 calories. So one mini chip is .75 calories. And six of them is 4.5 calories.
This means that a regular chocolate chip would be about twice the size, so 1.5 calories.
So I put about 7 or 8 mini chips in each cookie, so I know every cookie is 35 calories, and I don't have to worry about some having more than others and having more calories. Use this info as you wish. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
[Discussion] Savings for when I reach my gw
/u/genevieveornelas [5’2” | CW: 134.8 | BMI: 24.7 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:28:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uv6ma/savings_for_when_i_reach_my_gw/
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So I accidentally picked up this crop top while thrift shopping that I thought would fit (horrendous decision btw always try it on first) and when it didn’t it got me thinking.
When I hit my goal weight, I want to start treating myself right: cute clothes, nice makeup, nails, jewelry, eyelash extensions, etc. so I started a little savings thing for myself!
At the end of every week I pack down a twenty or so into a jar (which I had fun decorating) that I’ll break the day the scale hits 100, and I’ll go absolutely splurge it all. I’m just about to 300 bucks this coming weekend, and hopefully the jar will be in pieces by the end of December! Here’s hoping :)
Anyone else have something similar?
[Rant/Rave] Are an entire dark chocolate bar
/u/hamaesa [5'5|cw 105|gw 97|lw 87|F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:22:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uv4u2/are_an_entire_dark_chocolate_bar/
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For 500 calories. That puts me at over 2000 cal for the day.... how do you guys stay below 1000? I really need to stop overeating like this
Calories in a whole papaya?
/u/cornpoppet [160cm | CW 114lbs | BMI ~20 | -35lbs | 17F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uv3nu/calories_in_a_whole_papaya/
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Idk why but for breakfast tomorrow i really want to treat myself to a whole papaya. Weird I know, but I've been good lately and papya is super lo cal.
I was fairly sure that a whole fruit is 150 cals (mine weighs roughly 1 kg, not sure bc i used an ancient non digital scale🙄), but other databases say it's 400+ cal? What is the truth...
I ate twice my calorie limit for the day and now I'm on here torturing myself (:
/u/violetgrey00
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uv3lu/i_ate_twice_my_calorie_limit_for_the_day_and_now/
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its like a ritual
[Goal] I’ve been feeling like a whale but having an ex come crawling back is always an ego boost so now I’m gonna eat three handfuls of cold spaghetti.
/u/thinspothrowaway-997
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:16:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uv2sa/ive_been_feeling_like_a_whale_but_having_an_ex/
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https://i.redd.it/dq8z7mnsitw11.jpg
why can’t i stop eating bread
/u/nivegan
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:12:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uv1nv/why_cant_i_stop_eating_bread/
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it’s getting bad, i’ll literally eat a whole loaf. i eat PLAIN tortillas everyday! it’s disgusting! if i cut bread/carbs out of my diet i would only be eating 400-500 calories a day! why can’t i stop binging on it? how do i stop binging on it?! please help me i am so bloated and i feel disgusting
What is your absolute safe food?
/u/ceccynight
Created: Tue Nov 6 19:04:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuzdk/what_is_your_absolute_safe_food/
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No energi drinks, nicotine, alcohol, drugs etc.
What do you eat, and feel just fine after?
[Rant/Rave] Bring your thinspo to class day
/u/b-carbonate [5’6" | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 21.6 | 🏳️🌈 | 19F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:55:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuwmu/bring_your_thinspo_to_class_day/
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Seriously what happened yesterday (or today IDK it’s 3am right now I can’t day very much) but literally every girl at college was tumblr thinspo. I kid you not, I get out of class and that creepy ass dude flirting with me even though I have I AM GAY on my forehead, and what do I see? A pink haired tumblr pastel themed thinspo and then I get out of the building and bam two girls with grey and green hair talking and boy those thigh gaps. I continue, I wanna buy food but there’s just the food truck open so I go for a hot dog I don’t even care about the calories, I try to order but boy I have a speech impediment and the GORGEOUS girl behind me is laughing at me (nicely so it’s fine) and she was wearing fishnets and nice shorts and a yellow shirt, so grunge wow, I finish stuttering my order (fucking took 5 minutes to ask for a hot dog and a Diet Coke) and she looks at me with her pretty eyes and says "Don’t worry I think girls with stutter are cute" IDK ABOUT THAT GIRL BUT MAN I’M GAY OH SO GAY AND I’M CRUSHING HARD ON YOU
And that was my day, bring your thinspo to class, and I described the ones I remembered but every girl I would see looked straight out of r/thinspo and hurr I’m jealous and crushing at the same time but I’m too afraid to engage because I’m painfully fat next to them HOW DO I ENGAGE HUMAN NUPTIAL DANCE PROTOCOL H E L P!
IDK what I wanted to say initially but yeah, I felt like a perv watching all the beautiful girls walking in the Champs Elysées of the college :’)
Have a good night y’all I’m gonna "sleep"....Jk I’m going to browse on Reddit and then complaint about being tired :)
Snow Fungus Hype Thread
/u/bigcahunalife [5'5" | CW: :( | GW:112 | UGW:101]
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:46:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuu9y/snow_fungus_hype_thread/
---
Just wanted to share with you guys one of my new favourite low-cal foods. I originally ordered it with skin care / healing in mind after reading about [this Taiwanese family](https://www.boredpanda.com/youthful-taiwanese-woman-mother-sisters-lure-fayfay-sharon-hsu/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic) that looks like immortal ageless elves despite all being 40+. I read that one of the mother's beauty tips is that she has soy milk & snow fungus soup every day. So off to ebay I went.
One of the unexpected benefits I found of this weird Chinese fungus is that it's got a noodley consistency when wet and almost no calories.
I've never had shiritaki noodles so I can't say whether it's better or worse, but I can say that I actually like the texture and could down these bad boys all day.
It's tasteless too so you pretty much just put it in whatever you want it to come out tasting like. I put like half of a cap in with half a bouillon cube in boiling water and it's a good 50 calorie substitute for chicken noodle soup!
Found on r/surrealmemes
/u/janienicesocks
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:44:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uutkh/found_on_rsurrealmemes/
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https://i.redd.it/aihwbvu4dtw11.jpg
[Help] Winter is coming
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:111 | 17.32]
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:28:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uup61/winter_is_coming/
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How do you guys keep warm?? It’s not even that cold yet (like 45-50F) and I’m freeeeezing.
Any tips?
[Help] My therapist wants me to eat at LEAST 1200 calories, HELP
/u/taiteisnotcool [5'8 | 120.5 | 18.3 | -28 | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:23:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uunpu/my_therapist_wants_me_to_eat_at_least_1200/
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So I saw my ed therapist today and for the first time in 3 weeks was honest about my intake (600-200 most days, highest is 1000 once in a while on the weekends) and she was very concerned about my heart and shit and called my mom in and basically told us that she thinks during my upcoming doctors appointment that my team will want to tube me (the third time they’ve threatened this outside of IP) and that even if I start eating 1200 that my doctor might not even be convinced. She told my mom that tonight I have to have a 600 calorie dinner (which I did while out with my mom) and that I can’t go to my room or the bathroom for an hour after. I’m freaking out and I’m at 800 already today and I don’t know what to do and needed to vent sorry everyone for listening to my anorexic rambling
[Rant/Rave] i really wish i could restrict lower :(
/u/manfromanother-place [5’1.75 | CW:100 | GW: 95 | 18.4]
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuksc/i_really_wish_i_could_restrict_lower/
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the lowest i can go without getting really, really dizzy/nauseated is 1200 and it makes me feel like such a fake :(
Numbers
/u/StarvingBeauty
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:07:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuj0s/numbers/
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It's morbid, but I think I just realized why I'm striving so hard for the career that I am (data management). It makes me so...so unbelievably happy to, for once, be in total control over all the numbers.
[Discussion] Thoughts? Video I saw on FB about losing 2 dress sizes in 1 week
/u/JurassicParkourr
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:06:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuiqb/thoughts_video_i_saw_on_fb_about_losing_2_dress/
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https://www.facebook.com/E4/videos/232698367406752/
OMAD is my savior
/u/TotallyNotARadar [6'1" | CW:110 | GW:105 | BMI: 13.86 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:06:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuijk/omad_is_my_savior/
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I’m really bad at moderation. Like if I eat something, I’m eating all of it. I tried OMAD today and saved for my dinner meal which I was eating out at Panera. I was looking at the menu and I realized I could have whatever I wanted AND a dessert while still being 800 under my BMR+exercise. I got exactly what I was craving and damn if it wasn’t delicious. I’ve not eaten such a great, plentiful meal in months.
I’m for sure going to do this more often because it gives me something to look forward to without needing to worry if I’ll be able to afford the calories by the time I get there.
One thing I like about the sugary drink tax
/u/Literally_a_Gorilla [Weight Lost: 60 lb | 24 F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:05:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuiab/one_thing_i_like_about_the_sugary_drink_tax/
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I can rest assured that the drive-thru is really giving me diet soda, since they have to pay the tax on non-diet.
Awful day / depressed/ ate pizza :(
/u/Cmils091
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:02:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuhlg/awful_day_depressed_ate_pizza/
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I had the worst day and came home not wanting to even be alive. I’m so tired of being ugly but also so tired of just the rest of life. Too top it all off my husband helped with dinner by buying pizza FML.
[Help] Hey, could need some help
/u/ceccynight
Created: Tue Nov 6 18:02:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uuhc5/hey_could_need_some_help/
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Im 1.66m, 61 kg. Bulimic. Bmi 22
My therapist was really hard towards me yesterday. She want me to change job. I work nightshifts, she think this destroy my mental health. Im in and out of depressive episodes for like years. Im 27 years old now.
She made me make a meal plan for a week. A healthy one... With 1800-2000kcals.. Since ive been obsessed with calories. I need controll...
I do not need to follow the plan. But I need to put together a plan.
Will any og you guys give me a healthy 4-5 meals with the sum om 1800-2000 kcals? I eat everything, have no allergies. I just prefer eating high fiber and protein and fiber to feel full...
anyone, just give me an example for one day?
I want to recover, I want to eat healthy food without feeling too guilty and then purge it...
I preciate anything, seriously. Just feel hopeless at this point
THE SMALLEST THIGH GAP OF ALL TIME MAKES AN APPEARANCE
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 109 | GW 104 | F26]
Created: Tue Nov 6 17:48:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uudfk/the_smallest_thigh_gap_of_all_time_makes_an/
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[here it is in all its baby glory ](https://i.imgur.com/x9cRb4H.jpg)
just wanted to rave
Thank u goodnight
DAE find is much easier to restrict during the holidays?
/u/Lunabell2
Created: Tue Nov 6 17:46:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uucws/dae_find_is_much_easier_to_restrict_during_the/
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Watching other people stuff their faces while I daintily pick at my food makes me feel so powerful and I guess “better” than them. I suck at everything except having an eating disorder so I’m excited to have everyone see it. Am I the only one that is this bitchy?!
[Rant/Rave] Ate like a fucking psycho today and hate myself
/u/shamefulanon
Created: Tue Nov 6 17:41:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uubhx/ate_like_a_fucking_psycho_today_and_hate_myself/
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Daily light savings has me fucked up. Halloween candy my kids got has me even more fucked up. Going out of town over the weekend has me EVEN MORE fucked up.
I know I’m going to hate myself in the morning when my weight is even higher than it has been the last 2 days after eating bad over the weekend
I had gotten myself on a pretty good schedule of eating 350-550 calories during the day and eating normal meals for dinner with my SO. I breastfeed my kids so I can eat a larger amount of calories and stay at a low weight thankfully.
I literally ate like 1500 calories today before dinner & the inevitable alcohol and am hating myself in preparation for tomorrow’s weigh in
I really want to eat an entire can of Pillsbury chocolate fudge frosting
/u/HellaGayThrowaway [5'10"|CW:180|SW:225|GW1:172|UGW:135|NB21]
Created: Tue Nov 6 17:37:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uua3s/i_really_want_to_eat_an_entire_can_of_pillsbury/
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I could even get a 10oz can from Dollar Tree that would only have 1200 calories instead of 1900 for the 16oz can. But I'm not going to let myself buy that damn frosting because I have my meals planned out so well for the week and if I binge now I'll be a mess of compensatory behaviors that I don't have time for with the paper and huge exam and group assignment that are all due next week.
Doesn't mean I won't be fucking dreaming about shoving myself with frosting until I puke, though.
[Rant/Rave] 1 kg away from having an underweight BMI in the first time in my life, and I am absolutely miserable.
/u/losemore [5'10" | BMI 19.33 | -52.91lb | 22F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 17:24:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uu6gd/1_kg_away_from_having_an_underweight_bmi_in_the/
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(Flair is outdated)
Physically I am exhausted. I have constant headaches, have trouble with concentration and I have bruises all over my body from various deficiencies although I have tried to be vigilant about vitamins / iron intake etc.. but I guess there’s only so much supplements can do when your diet consists of mainly black coffee and cigarettes.
Emotionally I’m also exhausted. My moods are all over the place, I’m stressed and anxious all the time, I’m lonely as I’ve isolated myself from everybody that I care about, and to be quite honest I just want to put myself into a coma.
And what was this all for? To be thin. No, I don’t even care about the number on the scale really. I only see it as validation to myself that I can actually achieve something.
I’m not ready to recover, that thought absolutely terrifies me. So I have a choice of being miserable in recovery, or being miserable being thin.
ED’s suck. They are absolutely soul sucking and they take away everything you value and love, until your whole sense of purpose is reduced to calorie counting and the number on the scale.
I wouldn’t wish any of this on my worst enemy.
Just want to say thanks
/u/Slippiditydippityash
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utx9o/just_want_to_say_thanks/
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So as the title states, this is a thank you message. I came across this sub only about a week ago but I have to say that it's been brilliant. I work way too hard and for long hours (to the point managers have spoken to my own manager) and due to basically being a workaholic on top of having an ED and issues with booze (constantly going between drinking like it's going out of fashion and no booze for like 2 to 3 months) and a messy break up from way too long ago, I kind of found myself isolated and feeling like I had no one to talk to (I'm dark humoured and the tech firm I work for are super happy 24/7 no matter what, so you can imagine what social events are like when you're the self designated non drinker with the morbid sense of humour) and like I was invisible. I went back to restricting, running and an obscene about of weight training (gotta try to keep the butt seeing as the boobs went bye bye 2+ years ago along with the ex) and still felt empty figuratively. Being on this sub and the proEDmeme sub has made me stupidly happy. I laughed more tonight reading memes than I have in the past 2 months and reading other posts here and how nice everyone is to each other, I dunno how to say this without sounding like a saddo, but I just feel so happy and 'content' in some ways. I just want to thank you all for being part of this community and for making me feel better than I have for a long long time just based on the things you guys write, post, discuss and the genuine care you have for each other.
So, well thank you. So much. I feel invisible and ugly and terrible in my day to day life but curling up with a small personal sized mini bottle of red wine in bed with this on my phone has given me so much more joy than anything has in so so long. So thank you all for being you.
2½ month progress... Still nowhere I want to be but it's a start :)
/u/ThrowawayTAIU
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:52:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utwgx/2½_month_progress_still_nowhere_i_want_to_be_but/
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https://imgur.com/M5G415x
Where's EDMemes?
/u/lilsurrey
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:51:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utw90/wheres_edmemes/
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Where's /r/EDMemes?
what to eat in a college dining hall?
/u/hamalily [5'9" | 160lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:33:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utqqv/what_to_eat_in_a_college_dining_hall/
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OK so I'm on my college's (mandatory) (fairly expensive) meal plan this year (i am DITCHING that shit next year when I don't have to do it anymore) so ofc i am going to be eating there pretty much all the time. but there's not much in terms of calorie counts...
I like tuna salad surrounded by vegetables and mustard, but i'd like some additional options plus i want to eat hot food so bad plz :'(((
had some quinoa today...it was wild...would love to hear about what other college kids do! :)
p.s. egg salad sux
[Help] Safe foods at iHop that don’t include eggs?
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:33:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utqoh/safe_foods_at_ihop_that_dont_include_eggs/
---
I fucked up and agreed to go to iHop with my best friend even though obviously I cannot measure syrup or anything. She knows I have food struggles so I can’t just not eat. I considered purging but I’ve only done it twice not sure how to gauge how long to purge and how many calories to log.
All the safe foods i’ve seen include eggs, which I hate with a passion. Is there anything safe otherwise??
"eating wont make you fat!!"
/u/OodietcokeheadoO
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:27:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utp08/eating_wont_make_you_fat/
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When I'm out of Ed movies/YouTubers/etc I turn to recovered YouTubers who post about eds and recovery all the time. They all insist if you "eat normally" everything will be okay. I was weak and stupid today and had a huge bowl of cereal on top of my 900 calories. I had just gotten to 113 this weekend. I weighed again and I'm 116 now. That's 3 fucking lbs!!! Obviously going against my plan does damage! I'm too far ahead to purge now but it's the only thing I can think about I'm so angry at myself I ate 3 hours ago and literally could hardly focus on anything else. I just had to vent some place I thought people would understand and get it out of my head and some place tangible. I'm so scared, guys. This bumped me up to 1200 calories. I'm usually a purger and my weight stays pretty high I've finally lost a significant amount since maybe a year ago. I'm so so so scared I will never lose another pound as long as I'm alive. Ugh.
I can’t focus on anything
/u/lemonbasilthyme [5'3" | 91.9 lbs | 16.3 BMI | GW: 89 lbs | 29F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:27:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utose/i_cant_focus_on_anything/
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...except my next workout, or what I’m going to eat next, or my weight and how it’s trending, what I’m going to eat at the holidays, what my ultimate goal is and what happens then, etc.
I feel like I’m going crazy. I haven’t been genuinely productive at work in a long time, and I’m afraid of being found out and fired. I spend every day just waiting until I can shut down my laptop and go work out. I use weekends to lay around in bed or go for extra-long runs or marathon gym sessions. I don’t do anything just for pure enjoyment, I’m either too exhausted or I feel like my time would be better used exercising or meal-planning or cleaning my apartment. Literally all I’m doing with my life is killing time trying to make it to my goal weight.
I should be happy at my current weight, but I can’t enjoy it. What do I expect to happen when I lose 5 more pounds? Will I ever get to a place where I can actually live my life?
I'm ToTaLLy ReCoVeRiNg
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [Goal: Recovery]
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:25:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utogj/im_totally_recovering/
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Whoops, I hiked 3.5mi and ran 3mi today and the only calories I've had are from alcohol!! (Almost 4:30pm local time). I also might have done the exact same thing yesterday, except with more exercise...
But I was super productive today, and I haven't weighed myself in a week and a half!
Yaaaay AN + depression + anxiety + unemployment vibes!
ED friends, tell me a fun fact about yourself - literally anything.
Love you all, I'm drunk. Oh, and I'm leanin' on some codeine because I'm a big baby and teeth cleanings hurt.
[Discussion] Is it crazy to think I could lose 10 pounds by thanksgiving?
/u/vitalogy95 [5'5" | CW: 155 | BMI: 25.79 | GW: 115 | HW: 176]
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:19:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utmh0/is_it_crazy_to_think_i_could_lose_10_pounds_by/
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I did so well for almost a year, and then as always I went back into horrible eat habits and gained back 10 of the 30 pounds I had lost. I just can’t seem to get back on track. I restrict, then binge, and then I feel so depressed and sick with myself. But I keep doing it.
I NEED to lose the 10 pounds I gained so I can be happier for the holidays. But I only have like 16 days til thanksgiving. Maybe I could do at least 7-8?
Probably not. I hate this
[Rant/Rave] I feel like my family thinks im a pig
/u/throwawayaccunt6969
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:19:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utmdl/i_feel_like_my_family_thinks_im_a_pig/
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Everyone in my family is fairly skinny and eats pretty normally. My dad won't eat for the entire day except for a piece of toast in the morning and then dinner at night. My mom also eats randomly and doesn't obsess over food. I'm the only one in my family that's constantly eating and I hate it so so much. Of course what I'm eating are my safe foods but I am still judged for it. The other day I ate Halo top for dinner because I was having one of those days and my dad scolded me about it and I totally understand eating a whole pint of ice cream for dinner even if it's low calorie is just not okay but I really wish he would keep the comments to himself. Another example is today at dinner I hadn't eaten a lot all day and I was really shaky so I was eating pretty fast and my mom commented on that too and it made me feel disgusting. What really bothers me about it is that my family is always talking about how I'm too skinny but then judges me for eating too much. They also judge me for eating too little I feel like I can never win with them and I just need them to leave me alone. What bugs me the most is my sister is sooooo much skinnier than me she is one inch shorter than me but still manages to be really lengthy and it's just not fair. Our dynamic is kinda like Alex and Haley from modern family and it makes me want to die Lol. I just hate being the fatter sister because honestly models don't make me as self conscious as having someone around me constantly reminding me what I'll never have. Sorry this turned out longer than I expected.
[Rant/Rave] Time for another shitty loved one thread!
/u/homgerygorl
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:17:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utlsi/time_for_another_shitty_loved_one_thread/
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Saturday. I planned on skipping dinner. I had 648/600 calories but i burned enough i had a negative net. Feeling good about myself. My grandma announces she wants to go to this cafe with a buffet in it, about 40 minutes away. Okay, i thought, ill just have a salad, i thought.
We get there. Theres mashed potatoes, my only weakness. Ill just get a salad and a little bit of mashed potatoes, i think.
I did not just have mashed potatoes and a salad.
My grandma kept spooning food onto **my** plate while i was in line for the mashed potatoes
There were signs all over saying and when we paid for the buffet we were asked not to get more than we could eat to reduce food waste. I had to eat it all.
Theres a bathroom here so ill purge, i thought.
I preflushed because public bathroom germ farm, and someone walked in.
I did not purge.
"Your jeans are too big, lets go to walmart and look at jeans" my grandma says.
The whole time were looking at jeans she brings up how she wears a smaller size than me (im between sizes 16-18 US womens, she wears a 16)
I pick out 3 pairs of jeans, 2 black pair (one has this velvety lace pattern on them, one is just plain) and one blue pair. They fit. In the cart.
We start looking at shirts just to look. Theyre on clearance since i have 2 pairs of black jeans, i look at dark colored shirts. A cute dark blue one with white flowers. In the cart
This induces a meltdown from dear grandmother o'mine. "YOU ALWAYS WEAR BLACK!" She shouts as loud as she can without causing a scene, "YOU NEVER WEAR BRIGHT COLORS! BLACK DOESNT SUIT YOU! YOURE NOT ONE OF THOSE GOTHS!"
My grandma takes the shirt out of the cart and *makes me choose a black one*
We look at more shirts, a pink one with flowers on it. I pull one off the rack to look at it better. Its a 4xl.
"That wont fit you, honey" my grandma begins, taking the too large shirt from my hands, "you jeed to go down to a 3x, not a 4x"
I grab a 1xl, a size smaller than i need, but these are those giant drapey shirts that cover your ass even if you go down 3 sizes.
"Are you sure thatll fit?" my grandma says. "Its okay if it doesnt, because itll fit me. Im smaller than you!" My grandma continues. We both wear 2xl
We check out. I grab a Starbucks limited edition Chocolate Lava cake frappuccino, knowing my cal intake for the day is ruined anyways.
"You have such bad dandruff," my grandma says, "you need to do one of those coconut oil treatments your aunt does." She continues. The cashier speaks up "ive not tried it, but ive heard washing your hair with beer helps dandruff." She says innocently, unknowing that my grandmother has been nothing but a saboteur to my day and is just nitpicking for fun. "Have you tried head and shoulders?" My grandma continues. "Or maybe argan oil. But thats expensive, you dont care about how you look enough to shell that kind of money out" she says, looking at my stomach.
We go home, i walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes hoping to burn some of it off even tho i gave up at the end. A viscious cycle.
"How many steps do you have in?" My grandmother asks, looking proudly at her fitbit. I open samsung health, my only victory for the day. "8,700"
"I hate you" my grandmother replies, as if i didnt know that
It's so easy to feel like we've gone no-where, so I'm glad I have some old photos of myself to look back on to remind myself of the dysmorphia.
/u/Arionai [5'8 | CW: 121 | HW: 250 | - 129 | 18F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utjtl/its_so_easy_to_feel_like_weve_gone_nowhere_so_im/
---
https://imgur.com/a/or1pXLL
I can’t unclog the fucking toilet
/u/AbandonedDragon
Created: Tue Nov 6 16:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uthem/i_cant_unclog_the_fucking_toilet/
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I’ve been fighting with the stupid toilet all day and I can’t get it unclogged and I’m about to have a meltdown.
It’s not vomit from purging like most people are probably expecting here. No, it’s fucking shit.
TMI ahead. Also I’ve been drinking so excuse my drunken stressed out ramblings please.
Because I binged last night. You see, I hadn’t had a proper bowel movement for 3 days and then had my biggest binge last night because I’m so stressed out and tired. Then I had a huge bowel movement this morning. But it flushed so I thought I was in the clear. Fucking tease. I had another (smaller) poop a couple hours later and that is when my troubles began. It won’t go down. I’ve tried plunging. I’ve tried dish soap. I’ve tried draining and boiling water. I don’t know what else to do. I went to the store once for a second plunger and the draino but it wasn’t enough. I just came back from my second trip (to a second store because I’m so ashamed so I drove to a different store further away). Came home this time with a third plunger that’s a different shape and some vinegar and some wine. Currently getting drunk again to deal with this literal shit without crying and throwing up. Can someone either give me some advice or just kill me?
[Other] Crying looking at Pictures of myself
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:54:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utegf/crying_looking_at_pictures_of_myself/
---
I can’t believe how much weight I let myself gain. I was going through old pictures and my arms were just so fat that it makes me want to cry, how could I have ever let myself get to that point and for some reason blame it on everything but myself eating too much and not exercising. Ugh. Sorry. I just it makes me so angry but at least I now have motivation to continue losing and hopefully lose some weight.
[Other] Some random boy on the bus called me skinny, and it made my day. :)
/u/PiggySmiggyGiggy
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:50:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utdaj/some_random_boy_on_the_bus_called_me_skinny_and/
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Our bus is really small and we have to cram three people in a seat. Mind you, our bus carries 6th-8th graders.
Two 6th grade boys sit down next to me and say:
"We fit!"
*Then* the boy in the middle turns to me and says:
"You're really skinny."
I literally just stared at him, I wanted to say thank you- but omg I was in shock. I was so happy, it's the first time I've ever heard someone say that to me.
To the random boy who sat next to me, thank you. It made me so happy and feel so small. :)
I cannot stand how the media portray fit, sexy people.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:48:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utcik/i_cannot_stand_how_the_media_portray_fit_sexy/
---
Yes, I’m in a rage spiral today, lmao.
No, ripped dudes and waifish women do not eat out every night, and they don’t drink every day, and they don’t not spend any time in the gym. Never have I seen any of these characters exercise or purge or restrict. Nope, they just eat junk food and swill booze and they’re all gorgeous.
No. That is not how that works. Maintaining a low body fat is hard work. Maintaining a level of physical fitness is hard work. Staying within a healthy BMI is ridiculously difficult when you’re chowing down on shawarma and burgers three nights a week. Hell, it’s hard enough when you’re cooking your own meals!
i bought a whole bunch of food this week so i could try and eat normally and i just dumped all of it
/u/throoaweigh
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:43:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9utaxk/i_bought_a_whole_bunch_of_food_this_week_so_i/
---
strained some soup and dumped all the veggies on top so i wouldn't be tempted to salvage it either
all i have left is pasta and frozen chicken bites so i'll have to cook if i want to eat, which i never have the motivation to do!
why am i LIKE THIS
My friend is confusing me
/u/throwaway10933783
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:31:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ut7ac/my_friend_is_confusing_me/
---
Whenever I eat like shit she tells me I need to stop eating that (graham crackers, mini dove chocolate, etc etc) but when when I don’t eat as much or something she tells me “you need to eat more! I’m worried about you”
JESUS CHRIST. I know my other friend told her about my old ED account, because now I ordered McDonald’s and said “why the fuck am I eating a chicken sandwich AND chicken nuggets” and she said it’s okay...........
Maybe don’t comment on my eating habits period???!??????????
Sometimes when I say I’m not hungry, IM LITERALLY NOT HUNGRY. Now I feel like I have to force myself to eat just so they’ll get off my back.
Holiday Obesity Guide
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:31:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ut71r/holiday_obesity_guide/
---
1. Halloween (October 31st). Eat candy until you want to puke. Lose one week of restricting.
2. Thanksgiving (four weeks later). Socially acceptable binge eating plus leftovers. Lose one-and-a-half weeks of restricting.
3. Christmas (about four weeks later). Eat the damn cookies. Lose one week of restricting. Lose two if your mom makes sugar cookies.
4. New Year’s (less than a week later). Alcoholism and pub food. Lose another week of restricting.
So, you can either be a hermit this winter, or you can expect to lose at least a month of self-hatred induced starvation.
I mean, you could show some self-control instead, but let’s be real: none of us are because if we had self-control we wouldn’t be posting here.
[Discussion] DAE have moving tattoos?
/u/twiggyturtle
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:23:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ut4gg/dae_have_moving_tattoos/
---
I’ve got a full back tattoo that has been slowly becoming more visible from the front, edging forward on my (slightly protruding) rib cage. I’ve also noticed my arm tattoos almost touch now. Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or also uses their tattoos to measure their progress.
[Discussion] DAE alter their body type to fit their current stage of life?
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | CW 118.4 | BMI 19.4 | GW 111 | HW 136 | LW 90 | 27F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:13:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ut16a/dae_alter_their_body_type_to_fit_their_current/
---
And I don't just mean "thinner". LEMME TAKE YOU ON MY JOURNEY!
Stage of life: High school (without ED)
Lifestyle focus: Being attractive and seemingly normal
Aesthetic: Tried to look more mature, but my curves just weren't happening. I could only somewhat achieve the sexy-pretty-girl look, but consistently looked too young for my age... so I eventually just embraced it.
​
Stage of life: High school (with ED)
Lifestyle focus: Emo, "abused", lonely, nocturnal, edgy, nerdy. Avoiding all people and just being a weirdo teenager lol.
Aesthetic: Spooky scary skeleton. Skinny, pale, and sickly. I also wanted to look as young as possible. Muscle tone didn't matter as much - I just wanted to be bones. Weightless.
Stage of life: Post-high school and early 20s (slowly recovering)
Lifestyle focus: Early college and working. Dating around. Bars with friends on weekends.
Aesthetic: Thin-sexy. Eye catching. Glowing. Young-looking but not immature. Fashion that accentuated my figure but wasn't revealing. Focus on makeup and spending way too much time on my hair. Started to be ok with gaining a bit more weight and focused on toning my muscles. Tried to be the sexy high schooler I wasn't in high school.
​
Stage of life: Mid 20s (peak of recovery)
Lifestyle focus: School and sex.
Aesthetic: Soft, feminine curves. Mature. I wanted to be sexy in a fertile-looking, womanly way - and be comfortable to snuggle with. A sexual goddess. No bones seen nor felt. Fashion that accentuated my boobs (32DD at the time) and butt - low cut sundresses, attempting belly shirts, avoiding anything oversized and/or not appealing to men. Focus on skincare, and makeup shifting from glam to natural.
​
Stage of life: Later 20s (Current)
Lifestyle focus: Finishing school (I've been in school foreeevvverrr) and working on my career. No slutting around right now.
Aesthetic: Tall, thin, strong, mature, elegant, professional, modelesque. No need for boobs and ass right now as I'm not trying to appeal to men in a sexual way, but appeal to everyone in an "unattainable" sort of way. I want to be thin and toned, like a ballerina. Oversized sweaters with leggings/tight skinny jeans. Shoes that make my legs look longer and thinner. High fashion. Nothing frumpy that makes me look fat. Plump, glowing skin and very natural makeup.
So how about all of you? How have your body goals aligned with your status in life and how you've wanted to be perceived? Was it always just to be thinner, or have you ever desired other aesthetics for yourself?
fucking tuesday
/u/hera-fawcett
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:08:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9usz9z/fucking_tuesday/
---
okay so, Halloween I totally had this weird bullshit where I fucked a guy I barely knew and that so is 100% not me at all. like. legit at all. And then I legit debated for like 6 days asking him if he wanted to go get food-- and like, I finally did it today. BUT THEN. he fucking said no bc he just got out of a trash fire relationship and wants none of that.
but like, I want 0/0 relationships either I just wanted to get fucking McDonalds with the guy and talk life but now I'm like angry. like um why did you take me home? you're bent out of shape bc of your relationship but you can take me home, get me high and drunk, and fuck me?? like, legit wtf. I'm not asking to fucking marry you for fucks sakes.
and now I look like a complete fucking asshat and I just need to drink my sorrows but like I'm already over my calorie limit so maybe cry instead.
BUT like. fuck it is so hard for me to find people I'm into on an intellectual level and I was into him and now I just feel like legit fucking trash and I'm in some fucking club with him and have to be professional and work through it bc I'm bigger than that and a bigger person but sjjehanfnjfkeew.
fuck why am I such trash and why do I try and taking chances is legitimately terrible. but like, it's not even, it's better to know and get over it than wonder and have that weird greasy anxious feeling in my stomach when I think of it.
why the fuck am i like this. I don't even know where this is going. general sad Tuesday post, anyone?
Fasting tips?
/u/alderfae
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:03:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9usxqn/fasting_tips/
---
I want to try intermittent fasting/liquid diet, but I am not sure how to go about it. Anyone have any advice?
DAE spend too long dreaming about “ideal you”?
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 15:03:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9usxka/dae_spend_too_long_dreaming_about_ideal_you/
---
I know a lot of y’all lean towards the ballerina aesthetic, but mine are weirdly specific yet I rotate through them frequently?
* Lean, athletic, tanned, freckles and white teeth. A slightly sunburnt nose. Wears a lot of linen and cotton and chambray. Smells like oranges and solar wind. Soft and exudes warmth and ease. People assuming I’ve been this thin all my life. Think Gwyneth Paltrow in the Talented Mr Ripley.
* Smol wild child. Eyebags, skinned knees, lips the colour of bruised peaches. Explores caves, like bats and moss. Dark hair. A little sad devil child. Eats like a bird.
* An androgynous softy. Short curly hair, very affectionate, well cultured, knowledgeable in the arts, preppy. Eats all sorts of luscious treats and doesn’t gain weight. Think Call Me By Your Name meets Blue is the warmest colour.
* A strong tomboy. Not like those super ripped, steroid-y, bodybuilders but subtly muscular, delts and biceps on point but in an athletic way not just aesthetics. Throws hoops, skates, rockclimb but meditates and shit. Charming, down-to-earth. Eats clean without worrying about food. Ideally has a cute tiny cheerleader girlfriend 😭
Wildly different but the overall theme is to be lean and have a (seemingly) good relationship with food lmao.
What about y’all?
(Also pls tell me I’m not the only one who has multiple dream versions of myself)
DAE have a food they pretty much can't eat anymore because they've purged it too much and it makes them nauseous to think about it?
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:50:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ust8z/dae_have_a_food_they_pretty_much_cant_eat_anymore/
---
Mine are those hostess bags of mini chocolate doughnuts. And this past weekend I had a sad and got a pizza. I love pizza but lately it's become a chore to eat it and half way through I'm like "why am I doing this? This is like fucking someone I haven't liked in months but haven't gotten around to breaking up with" I think I might be breaking up with pizza. Weird.
what the FUCK
/u/pinkdonutdemon
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:49:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ussvb/what_the_fuck/
---
i fucking gained 2 fucking pounds overnight but I ate less than 300 calories yesterday. I didn’t even eat half a pounds worth of food? I had a few pieces of sushi for the whole day? how does this fucking happen? does weight just materialise out of thin air? someone please explain to me what’s going on this has never happened before. I wanna die
[Other] Thank you to everyone who convinced me not to purge
/u/Anavosa
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:44:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9usrhe/thank_you_to_everyone_who_convinced_me_not_to/
---
I really appreciate you guys trying to talk me out of it. After sitting on the bathroom floor crying for the last hour, I decided not to do it and I have all of you who commented to thank. So thank you very much for helping me not to purge. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This subreddit is full of sweethearts and I wish you all good fortune
Walked to my polling place
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:44:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9usrg2/walked_to_my_polling_place/
---
I'm 44 hrs into a fast so I got a monster ultra blue on the way. Now I know why fou guys always post about them. It was weird at first, sharp like 5 packets of poprocks but good 😁
I broke my no weigh November pledge after my binge sat/sun but I'm back on the bandwagon. Kinda sucks though that it takes two days of fasting to undo one night of anxiety binge.
[Help] WORKOUTS
/u/bllepbleep
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:35:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9usoe3/workouts/
---
I need simple workouts and what they burn, I really need to burn 2000 calories tonight!!!!!
[Tip] Canned pumpkin purée!!!! My new favourite safe food!!!
/u/wristsPlz
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9usmez/canned_pumpkin_purée_my_new_favourite_safe_food/
---
Okay hear me out. I'm in the UK and only just tried this recently so maybe everyone else is already in on it but wow!
1) It's such a nice texture - mushy and wet and just relaxing. It feels super safe and nice to me
2) It's low effort. Just crack open the can and it's ready to eat. And you can pop it in the fridge to finish later
3) It has a nice taste on it's own but can also versatile and can be customised. You can make it savoury, for example salt pepper and paprika mm. Or sweet, with cinnamon and nutmeg and sweetner. Any flavours you like, and you can have it cold or hot. Also a good topping e.g. for light yoghurt or ricecakes
4) Good for you
5) It's low calorie! ~40cals per 100g, so you can have a big scoop of it without feeling bad and it's so nice and satisfying
Honestly I just wanted to share because I'm super obsessed right now. Also if anyone else has less common safe food recommendations I'm all ears. :D
I don't have a scale, so I'm using measurements + Body Visualizer to figure out what I weigh and it's stressing me out
/u/icetesseracts
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:26:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uslf1/i_dont_have_a_scale_so_im_using_measurements_body/
---
I don't own a scale and can't get my hands on one (unless I feel like having a massive fight with my husband). I do have a soft tape measure, though, and I take measurements every 2-4 weeks. Right now, I'm 36-27-40. Body Visualizer suggests I'm about 135-140lbs. (I'm 5'5ish.)
And that's... giving me feelings. One the one hand, fuck, I'm fat. On the other hand, that would mean I've lost 15-20lbs since I last set foot on a scale and am back to a more typical weight range for me. (I've been in a recover-relapse cycle since I was a teenager and never quite figured out how to "recover" without binging and gaining 50+lbs, which triggers the relapse, rinse and repeat for 10 years.) And most of all, I can't believe that could possibly be accurate.
My brain is running in circles. Of course it's accurate, I'm fitting back into the clothes I wear when I'm at that weight. Of course it isn't accurate, I'm not fitting into all of them. Of course it's accurate, I haven't eaten properly in months. Of course it's not accurate, I haven't been counting my calories that strictly, and it's impossible to lose weight unless I'm strictly counting calories, right? No, of course it's not impossible, and it's perfectly believable that I've lost that much weight - the last time I was on a scale was a few months ago, and when I am counting calories, I tend to average about 1000-1300 a week, which would mean I'm losing about a pound a week, and that works out mathematically.
I really wish I had a scale.
[Help] what do you order at restaurants?
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Tue Nov 6 14:04:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9use2r/what_do_you_order_at_restaurants/
---
my bf is going to be with me for the next few days and he always prefers to eat out and sometimes finding fairly low calorie options is hard.
i know subway (not really a restaurant ig but oh well) i can get a veggie sub for low cals, and applebee’s grilled chicken breast is only 190 and i can get broccoli for sides but was curious if you guys had suggestions for other restaurants? thx!!!
[Help] To purge or not to purge
/u/Anavosa
Created: Tue Nov 6 13:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9us3hj/to_purge_or_not_to_purge/
---
I’ve never in my life forced myself to throw up. Never wanted to. Now that I’m at my highest and I can seem to stop binging, I want to. I’m nervous though. Help? It’s a bad idea, right?
If I throw away the toothbrush I use to purge,
/u/TyrannosaurusXX
Created: Tue Nov 6 13:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9us2of/if_i_throw_away_the_toothbrush_i_use_to_purge/
---
I can't purge anymore right? RIGHT!?!?!
[Rant/Rave] “Binged” for a week ruined my chance of hitting my gw before Christmas need help getting back on track.
/u/rejected_desk_puppy
Created: Tue Nov 6 13:10:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urvrb/binged_for_a_week_ruined_my_chance_of_hitting_my/
---
Went to Disney and I also happened to be on my period... combined smells of amazing magical food and my favorite place with my insane cravings and I went way over my calories. I ate like a monster. Annnnddd then I didn’t stop it’s been a week and I’ve eaten at least at maintenance every day some days over. Weighed myself gained a pound. And now my chances of being at my gw by Christmas are ruined (it was going to be a close call with no slip ups). I feel disgusting and unmotivated I need inspiration to keep going or I’m gonna end up binging all the weight back. I’m not even at a healthy weight yet I’m still at an overweight BMI... How do you get yourself back in the mindset? I was doing so good but now I feel like my stomach un shrunk and I’m hungry like (I’m assuming) normal people are for the first time in forever. I just want to cry.
[Discussion] Does liposuction help?
/u/Maitebanana
Created: Tue Nov 6 13:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urt3w/does_liposuction_help/
---
Do you know of somebody who got better because they got liposuction? Because I know we all have fantasized about removing the fat out of our bodies as fast as we can, but does it make any difference?
Fat logic from a diet sub?
/u/AbjectRepresentative
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:57:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urrn9/fat_logic_from_a_diet_sub/
---
So, I posted about starting OMAD again and was told that I already look underweight. First laugh:I have a bmi of 20.5. Moving on, I was also told that you are supposed to have grabbable fat in the stomach area bc muh organs. Uh, no? It's supposed to be completely flat, right? Anyway, it all degenerated into yOu NeEd eD recovery despite my diet being more than likely better than theirs so I gave up lmao.
is PMS is a trigger for anyone?
/u/Maitebanana
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:52:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urpjp/is_pms_is_a_trigger_for_anyone/
---
I'm supposed to be recovered anorexic, but everytime I'm close to my period I bloat like a balloon, I get depressed, hate my body (actually I never stop hating it) and have a "little" relapse. Is anyone else triggered by their periods?
Right now I don't want to ever eat again, I don't even care about starvation mode or stomach problems or whatever, but I don't want to hurt anyone around
[Rant/Rave] Sitting in a cafeteria during lunch S U C K S
/u/Dreaming_Lightly
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:49:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uroir/sitting_in_a_cafeteria_during_lunch_s_u_c_k_s/
---
I’m just sitting here, minding my own business, scrolling through low calorie foods, when suddenly I’m just surrounded by the smell of fries and pasta! I want to scream! I guess I’ll just hold back and chew some sugar free gum angrily for now.
Does anyone have advice on dealing with the shakes?
/u/lunarmoth_
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:47:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urntp/does_anyone_have_advice_on_dealing_with_the_shakes/
---
My hands shake when I’m hungry and I’m a full-time tattoo artist. Restricting hurts my work performance but I want the best of both worlds. Is there medication I can take to stop them from shaking or something?
[Help] does anyone smoke/vape to suppress your appetite or lose weight?
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:44:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urn1r/does_anyone_smokevape_to_suppress_your_appetite/
---
i’ve seen some people mentioning vaping as an appetite suppressant or smoking cigs to do that & lose weight- does that work for anyone?
i smoke weed a lot but i’m really cutting back because munchies, but it does wonders for my anxiety and when i have menstrual cramps.
i really don’t wanna get into the habit of smoking and i wouldn’t want anyone i know knowing if i do so vaping would be a lot easier but i just want something that works 🤷🏻♀️
what’s your experience? ((TIA))
[Other] Hello sexeh Christmas body/heart attack waiting to happen!! I’m going to take it slow and take one of each, once a day only for three weeks. I genuinely do suffer with asthma when exercising in cold weather, and now I’m fat and desperate enough to stack.
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:40:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urlfh/hello_sexeh_christmas_bodyheart_attack_waiting_to/
---
https://i.redd.it/0uhpx625krw11.jpg
Feeling guilty about planned meals
/u/sninaminnamon
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urkp3/feeling_guilty_about_planned_meals/
---
Does anyone else feel bad about eating planned meals? I had oatmeal at breakfast and low calorie ham sandwich at lunch, so 330 calories total, and I feel like a failure. I needed the food because of a full day of classes today, but I still feel so badly about it and simultaneously want to binge because it feels like I screwed up.
​
anyone relate?
[Tip] 30 cals for the whole thing and the tartness keeps me fuller
/u/throwaway4daaayss
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urjq5/30_cals_for_the_whole_thing_and_the_tartness/
---
https://i.redd.it/a9l6s1h5jrw11.jpg
[Help] My Gf has disordered eating and I don’t know what to do
/u/xxascdy98
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:33:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urjbs/my_gf_has_disordered_eating_and_i_dont_know_what/
---
The title kind of sums it up.
I have a girlfriend who used to have pretty severe anorexia a few years back before I knew her. According both to her and the pictures she has shown me of her thinnest; she’s not as bad as she used to be but it’s still there. She also struggles with depression which is not the best add on.
We’ve only really been dating for a few months and we were really close friends before that but I don’t know what to do as a boyfriend. I find myself tripping over words and not being sure what to say when it comes to her food shit. For example, when she wants to eat something really cheesy; I don’t know whether to mention that she might feel guilty afterwards or just let her eat it but then she has to deal with the guilt which could be really bad.
She doesn’t wanna recover because according to her that would mean “getting fat”, but she doesn’t wanna deal with the ED shit as well and I’m fucking lost as to what to do. She’s mentioned that she doesn’t know anyone who’s actually recovered and maintained recovery while still being considered thin by her, which doesn’t make sense because no one healthy is that thin.
More recently she’s mentioned wanting to join a gym and consider and I don’t how to respond to either of those things on top of everything else. I’m fucking lost.
I love this girl, and she is the best of my existence and I just feel so fucking helpless every time she breaks down and cries to me. I wanna help but maybe this is just a thing that she has to sort by herself with me supporting but as much I can but even then, i don’t know how I should support her.
I’m fucking lost, and I don’t know what to do.
[rant/rave] I got called tiny today
/u/800goat [5'6 | CW:126 | BMI: 20.3 | -21 | M]
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:27:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urh6k/rantrave_i_got_called_tiny_today/
---
I'm in a nutrition and wellness class (bc I thought it would be good for me!!!) but turns out we just bake a bunch of fattening shit. So I never eat it because "I don't like it" (while I'm actually crying inside bc I want the fucking pizza so bad)
Anyways, today we made cookies. My group was talking about how we'd split them up and I mentioned I might not want any. And then his girl (a saint) said "damn you don't like anything. That's why you're so tiny"
I thanked her so hard.
And then I ate 4 cookies because I felt so good about myself. I freaked out for a while but I got them into my calories for the rest of the day, so I'm good. Today was good.
I have bought sooo many clothes already so that I can wear them WHEN I’m skinny
/u/ironicalyalive
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:25:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urgo3/i_have_bought_sooo_many_clothes_already_so_that_i/
---
... well I ain’t and they’ve been sitting in the closet for more than a year now and keep pilling up. I can’t wait anymore to wear them but that time just never comes.
To all the cropped shirts, hoodies and smallest size jeans in my closet...
DAE's significant other encourage/not care about their ED?
/u/sunshinefunshinebear
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:19:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urer0/daes_significant_other_encouragenot_care_about/
---
Because low-key my boyfriend has an obsession with super skinny girls, so he never makes me eat if I dont want to
[Rant/Rave] LITERALLY EVERYONE IS EATING FRIED SHIT IN CLASS RIGHT NOW.
/u/famarino [5’3 | CW: 103| 18.3 | UGW: 90| F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:18:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urebl/literally_everyone_is_eating_fried_shit_in_class/
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And I’m on my second day of fasting after getting off two grueling weeks of binging and laxative purging. My stomach growls are literally echoing through the class room jfc.
[Help] Anybody experience unfavorable things when taking Xanax?
/u/cold_melon [5'7'' | cw 113 | bmi 17.7 | -20 | gw 105]
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:15:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urdct/anybody_experience_unfavorable_things_when_taking/
---
I’m in a loop of restriction and purging. My panic attacks (which weren’t a regular thing since I was 8) are now back. I’ve been suggested Xanax by a healthcare provider but won’t consider it once I have some lovely peeps share their experiences:)
Deal breakers for me:
Don’t want it to cause weight gain/ increased appetite/ or any other emotional disturbance.
Thanks guys!
[Other] For trans guys and nonbinary people who bind, does anyone know if it's safe (relatively speaking) to take Bronkaid/other stimulants when your heart area is regularly being compressed?
/u/aliennation1137 [5'6" | CW: 110 | BMI: 17.8 | GW: 100 | 22M]
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:13:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9urccw/for_trans_guys_and_nonbinary_people_who_bind_does/
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(I hope this doesn't violate rule 2 re: medical advice, but I doubt there'd be much professional doctorly advice out there on this subject anyway)
Honestly, I'm in my last term of college and the allure of Bronkaid is even more for the study drug aspect than the appetite suppressant :/
I have serious anxiety about sleeping through class, so I'm always trying to force myself to stay awake and could use something besides just caffeine, and my focus is shit because I have ADHD and my therapist is smart enough not to trust me with an Adderall prescription. Pretty much I'm just letting my ED and my bad relationship with sleep have one final hurrah to get me through the next 7 weeks until I graduate, because it helps me feel in control of my academic work and ignore how lonely I am at school, and then I might actually take the time to give recovery an honest try.
I'm a trans guy and I wear a binder most days. I try to be safe about it, like taking it off if I'm in pain and trying not to leave it on for too long, and it's also slightly looser as my chest gets smaller (praise the lord), but I wanted to ask if anyone had knowledge about taking Bronkaid and binding. As a side note, I've smoked in my binder before, which I know is supposed to be a no-no so I try not to do it often, but I was fine.
[Discussion] self care after B/P?
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:01:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ur8cp/self_care_after_bp/
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yesterday and today have been really fucking bad, and i’ve binged/purged multiple times. i feel really drained, dizzy, and my throat fucking hurts. i’ve managed to shower and drink some herbal tea but is there anything else you guys do to make yourself feel a little bit better after a particularly long or bad b/p sesh? this disease is ruining my life but i still want to function at a base level sometimes, so some self care tips would be appreciated <3
Should I tell my psychiatrist about my ED?
/u/ballerina_inprogress [5'5"|CW: 110.2|CBMI: 18.3|HW: 165|GW: 98]
Created: Tue Nov 6 12:01:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ur87k/should_i_tell_my_psychiatrist_about_my_ed/
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So I see my psych for my general depression/anxiety. He is not the same doctor I've had for most of my life, I've been seeing him for maybe the past 4 yrs, maybe 3 times a year. I have mentioned my past problems with food; high school and my freshman year of college (restricting, compulsive exercising, occasionally purging, etc.) and he knows about my more recent binging problem (I was never formally diagnosed, but I'm positive I had BED for several years). He knows that I've lost some weight and that was part of the reason why he switched my anti depressant to wellbutrin bc a symptom of the other one I was on was weight gain, and I was overweight and frustrated and couldn't stop binging. I know you aren't supposed to take wellbutrin if you purge, but I have purged once in the past 7ish years, it is not something I engage in anymore, and frankly even if I felt the urge I would not do it because I am terrified of having a seizure bc of the wellbutrin. During the time that I have been seeing him, I have gained weight but then lost weight, around 55 lbs lost so far. Is there any reason for me to tell him about this (besides wanting to recover, which I don't want now)? I've lost 25 lbs since I last saw him during the summer. I am over 18 so being forced into treatment is not a concern, and I do not currently want to recover. He doesn't have any connection to my GP or any other doctors, as he has a private practice and I don't think he even knows their names. To my knowledge, I've never been formally diagnosed. I was in therapy on and off between middle school and high school because of my depression and then eating issues (I've been on antidepressants for what feels like forever...). I'm sorry that this is a long, rambly post, and I'm not exactly sure what point I'm trying to make, but thank you to anyone who has read the whole thing lol!
[Discussion] Body check (NSFW) 5’5.5” no sure how much I weigh; do I qualify for thinspo?
/u/TAYbayybay [5’5.5” | CW 125 lbs | BMI 20.5 | F | GW 115 lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:56:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ur6oe/body_check_nsfw_555_no_sure_how_much_i_weigh_do_i/
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https://i.redd.it/7ca76oidcrw11.jpg
[Discussion] Tracking app
/u/heyimbored_
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:48:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ur48m/tracking_app/
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Do you guys use my fitness pal or lose it or some other app? I use lose it but I’ve heard a lot of people using mfp too.
best bathroom scale (preferably accurate & budget friendly)
/u/everybhodyhurt
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:35:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqzyq/best_bathroom_scale_preferably_accurate_budget/
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i shop at target a lot and i was browsing online at all the options. i want to buy a new scale my last one i bought at Walmart for $20 but it was 20 pounds off! (so relieved to see it was adding 20 pounds instead of skimping) but besides that. drop some links? i just don’t want to blow $50 on one that sucks 😅
I had a binge and I hate myself
/u/alderfae
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:26:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqwxg/i_had_a_binge_and_i_hate_myself/
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I'm just mad now. Was doing well with eating sensible portions and staying within my calorie deficit. Binged today. Now I have to make up for it by exercising my butt off and further reducing my deficit. I am the worst -\_-
[Rant/Rave] falling for a guy, zero motive, increasing depression
/u/everybhodyhurt
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:26:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqwpn/falling_for_a_guy_zero_motive_increasing/
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he’s 23, charming, geeky, adorable and i love when we do talk. we work together but i still only see him about 3-4 times out of the week due to our schedules being different. most people say to stray away from the workplace. i cant seem to let this one go. sometimes ive made little flirtatious jokes and that’s been it and he’s laughed and i feel like there’s so much potential good in this guy. i want to make a move, im absolutely crazy about him...but the thing is, i haven’t felt like this in over a year in a half about anybody else. it feels like such a prolonged time. ive started to feel gross. i wake up and instantly the first thing on my mind is getting smaller. i want to shrink and be pretty and dainty and wear cute clothes and prove that im worthy of somebody as good as him. ive always struggled with my body and my bulimia. never have i ever let it affect me like this. i feel like im not worthy of him until i get to point x meanwhile im stuck all the way at point b. i feel like by the time i get to where i want, the chance of anything will be absolutely gone.
this has set off an awful mix of feelings when it comes to love, my ED, my job, & overall my mental state.
i binge, the suicidal ideation hits me, the guilt hits me, the disgust, all of it. i don’t know what to do.
How long can I safely low restrict/ Soylent?
/u/Jenny_Roberts
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqw7w/how_long_can_i_safely_low_restrict_soylent/
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(on mobile, please flair as question/discussion)
Disclaimer: I'm not asking for medical advice, just experiences from others who are in the same position!
To start off, I'm currently 189lb, down from 217 at the beginning of the summer. I'm a binge eater, but it's becoming less and less of a problem recently. I dabble with fasting (it really does help me gain psychological control) but am weary of fasting longer than a week. I'm in college and want to retain at least some brain function!
I recently found that my Walmart carries Soylent! It's about $3.50/ bottle, and each bottle contains 20% of your daily nutrients (including fiber, fat, carbs, protein, and vitamins) at 400cal.
I'm paranoid about the side effects of long term low restriction, but fasting (1-5 days usually) worked the best for me and didn't make me overthink it, and I know other overweight/obese people have found fasting to be the most straightforward way to restrict, and they are fine.
If I don't want to become underweight, do you think 400cal days would hurt or help me? Do symptoms pop up when you're still overweight, and can they be avoided by vitamins?
Thank you for reading!
My scale broke
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:23:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqvt3/my_scale_broke/
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I know there are lots of you here that don’t weigh yourselves, I’m thinking about maybe weighing myself only when I go home on weekends so I can see big changes rather than checking everyday? Idk maybe I should go out and buy one at Walmart. The scale I had anyway was pretty unreliable.
[Rant/Rave] I think I've finally drilled into my head that binging=bad
/u/cattivity
Created: Tue Nov 6 11:16:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqtd5/i_think_ive_finally_drilled_into_my_head_that/
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Not making any promises and who knows what my binge-y brain will say later on to convince me to binge later on but for now I think I've finally got myself out of the binge phase. Last night I went out to eat with my bf, I was so tempted to be like "fuck it" and binge like crazy but instead I just got half a sandwich and a piece of pie. It took my calorie intake up by a lot for the day. But, I didn't feel the urge to binge out of guilt or even sheer indulgence. It was nice to not to know I wasn't fucking my body up for the next couple days, which I usually prepare for when I go on a giant binge.
I felt really guilty because I screwed up my "600-800" a day thing but I'm gonna make up for it today so that I'm still under maintenance cals at least
Hooray for small victories!
just puked a $60 pill
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 52.7kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:59:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqnid/just_puked_a_60_pill/
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just thought everyone should know this is what my life has come to, i wanted to purge so badly i opted to throw up my very very important & expensive medication and just take another pill after.
[Rant/Rave] My 47 day intermittent fasting plan just got destroyed
/u/rita_rita
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:55:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqm5i/my_47_day_intermittent_fasting_plan_just_got/
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Well I just found out my mom is coming to visit me in about a week. While I am very happy that she'll be here, I am also freaking the f- out because it will interrupt my 47 days intermittent fasting plan.
She will be here for 4 days, including two weekend days, which adds up to about 6 full meals I will need to have.
finally got a bluetooth scale 🙌🏻❣️
/u/honeydewtuesday
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:37:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqftr/finally_got_a_bluetooth_scale/
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now it’ll automatically log my weight even when i try to ignore when i gain 🤦🏻♀️, hopefully it’ll help me hold myself even more accountable •͈ᴗ•͈
[Discussion] DAE get terrified of binging even if you dont actually binge?
/u/kVIIIwithan8
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:35:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqez3/dae_get_terrified_of_binging_even_if_you_dont/
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Pretty sure I've never had a real binge, I've always tended more towards restriction. But whenever I tell myself I'm gonna eat normally, I get really fucking scared that I'm gonna binge. Like here's the pattern:
1. Get scared about being really cold and losing hair
2. Commit to eating 'normally' for at least a week
3. Day 1 of normal eating: restrict to 800cals because fuck what if I binge??!? What if I eat and don't stop and then check the calories and it's like 1000 for one meal?!? Fuckfuckfucjfuckfuck
4. Fail
5. Repeat
Tf do I do?!
[Rant/Rave] DAE want to be a skeleton with a THICC ass?
/u/skinnycoffee [5’2” | 102 | 18.7 | -38 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:34:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqen5/dae_want_to_be_a_skeleton_with_a_thicc_ass/
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I know it’s fucking ridiculous but I want my ribs and spine to be visible even under my clothes and for my arms and legs to be so skinny I can easily wrap my hands around them....but I want an ASS!!!
I’ve only had a butt when I was at my highest (140 lbs) but I was so fucking disgusting and fat ugh, now that I’m skinnier I’m disgusted by my Hank Hill saggy ass agahjskfldl
Living with my parents again, can't stop eating. Help?
/u/I_am_Xander [H 160 | CW 50kg | GW 40kg | BMI 19.5 | Weight Lost 6kg | F19]
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:33:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqefz/living_with_my_parents_again_cant_stop_eating_help/
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Hey
SHORT VERSION:
I am freaking out bc i need to live with my parents for 3 more weeks (stayed here for a week and a half already) and I cant bring myself to restrict my eating since the house is full of food and my mom is watching over me. Does someone have any advice on how to tackle this bc this isnt working?
Long version in the comments
[Help] If I chew and spit how do I put it in loseit!
/u/emlae_reddit
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:32:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uqe35/if_i_chew_and_spit_how_do_i_put_it_in_loseit/
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This morning I ate in the bathroom just so I could spit it straight in the toilet
[Rant/Rave] Why must my ED fight with my values
/u/Biiou
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:16:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uq8rj/why_must_my_ed_fight_with_my_values/
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Tell me why my eco-friendly, against wasting food-ass just popped an english muffin in the toaster, only to just immediately throw it away right after sniffing it.
🙃
Does anybody still use the Peach app?
/u/dainty_etherealism
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:15:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uq8cw/does_anybody_still_use_the_peach_app/
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I was just wondering...
Also anybody who wants can add me: NeptunePrincess 💖💖
[Rant/Rave] MONEY $$$
/u/softdyke
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:10:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uq6lv/money/
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Not ED related but I don’t really have anyone I can tell about this but I’ve just found out that when my grandma dies she will leave me enough money that I will be able to buy a house and !!! It’s crazy I never thought I’d be able to buy a house but now I will be able to!!!
Sorry if this seems boasty but I’m so relieved and can’t believe it!!
[Rant/Rave] My grandma asked me if I have non Hodgkin’s lymphoma and I took it as a compliment
/u/greycat91
Created: Tue Nov 6 10:02:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uq3qd/my_grandma_asked_me_if_i_have_non_hodgkins/
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That’s all
RIGHT! What's with the sharts?
/u/dino_bones72 [164cm | cw 51.5kg | gw 48kg |-12.9kg | 19.1 BMI |30s F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uq2tl/right_whats_with_the_sharts/
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Pretty much the title. Almost exactly to the minute, 7 days on, without warning, no tummy grumble or anything, no warning, NOTHING, there was a shart.
WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?
I'd rather not shit my knickers at my desk, thank you very much. I'm not entirely sure my goal weight is worth it.
I've been averaging 500 cal a day for the last few months, with some fasting in there and some moderate eating days but no binging. I ate 700 on Friday, 500 on Saturday, 400 on Sunday, fasted yesterday and I haven't had any today either after The Incident.
What The Actual.
Should I just take spare knicks and jeans to work on a Tuesday and hang out in the loos waiting for a rogue one at 8.45? What's happening here?
Does anyone here NOT hate food culture?
/u/AbjectRepresentative
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:45:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upy94/does_anyone_here_not_hate_food_culture/
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Idk I'm just a fat weirdo but it's just like... it's a fundamental part of every culture. A lot of inventions, progress, etc have been steered by food and eating. And there really isn't much else that unifies us as people, and unity is so desperately needed right now.
Idk I just can't fee superior over not buying into food or eating culture because I do.
[Rant/Rave] He strikes again. Be wary of u/throwawaythestraight.
/u/meesha19
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:45:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upy01/he_strikes_again_be_wary_of_uthrowawaythestraight/
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https://i.redd.it/erkxp3mxoqw11.jpg
He strikes again. Be wary of r/throwawaythestraight.
/u/meesha19
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:43:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upxg5/he_strikes_again_be_wary_of_rthrowawaythestraight/
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https://i.redd.it/a6ek1ppnoqw11.jpg
[Discussion] I worked out yesterday
/u/throwawayluckybamboo [5'4" | CW: 145.2 | GW: 125 | LW: 115 | UGW: 105]
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:41:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upwoj/i_worked_out_yesterday/
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I worked out yesterday for the first time in a long long time, and for the first time in a long long time I actually felt good during/after the workout. And then I ate a lot, not a binge because I was still around ~750 calories, but more than I planned. I felt out of control and then my husband got a text from his uncle saying he's visiting this weekend and I got stressed (my MIL is a POS, and although the uncle is on his dad's side of the family and minds his own business I'm stressed at the idea of possibly having to see my SIL). So I went and purged. I locked the bathroom door and purged and got all the food out. It was disgusting - we had sandwiches for dinner and I was throwing up chunks of bread because I'm such a pig that I didn't even chew and swallow. My husband heard and got upset but the door was locked so he couldn't do anything and our therapist told him not to make me feel worse if I purge by getting upset with me. I feel shitty for making him feel bad, but I felt so good afterwards. It was like two huge victories in one day when normally I have zero. And then we got up this morning and worked out again. I feel like I'm slipping back into bulimia and I'm purposely trying to trigger myself back into restriction, and its sick because I'm so happy about it.
My husband is going to be away for work for almost 4 days next week. I'm trying to decide if I should restrict for those days or if I should b/p. There's a part of me that feels bad about being so sneaky and shitty, and then the other part thinks about being thin again and I don't care.
[Discussion] DAE?
/u/revealingmymind
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:37:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upvmi/dae/
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Does anyone else get triggered when people say ‘You’re not alone,’ ‘You need to talk to someone,’ ‘I know it’s hard but [...],’ ‘You have to choose to want to recover,’ etc.?
[Discussion] What're you guys feeling good about today?
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:36:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upvci/whatre_you_guys_feeling_good_about_today/
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Maybe its a month of wearing baggy clothes and not looking at myself, but I feel ok in my body today, even though I'm not especially skinny (I'm a healthy weight, 22.1 BMI). Maybe it's just the prozac, but either way it's nice to have the clouds lift for a little bit.
​
Are you guys feeling good about anything today? Doesn't have to be ED related, let just get some positive vibes up here :)
[Other] Feeling personally attached by my grammar textbook - a bold presumption 😂
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:34:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upunn/feeling_personally_attached_by_my_grammar/
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https://i.redd.it/epmd0r23nqw11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Body Standards Rant
/u/xrenee00
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:20:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uppuc/body_standards_rant/
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Honestly, I dont want to be thicc. I'm 5'2 and weigh 120, and I feel like my body just doesnt look like I want it to. Losing weight esp in my upper thighs is maddeningly difficult, but every time I try to talk with my friend about it (best friend, who I'm comfy talking about it with) she says "No, your thicc! That's what people want nowadays." As an effort to make me feel better. It does the opposite, and I'm beginning to hate the trend as a whole, esp because although I embody it, I dont like it on me specifically. Like I ate good for two weeks straight, tracked my eating for all of my meals, and managed to lose 5 pounds, but as soon as I went back to eating normally I shot up to 120 again overnight. I think I'm developing an ED tbh but I almost enjoy the feeling. Nothing in my life feels constant and it's so stressful, so maybe I'm turning to food control to try and feel safe? Idk lmao
Fast food safe foods?
/u/ikeafamous
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:20:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upptt/fast_food_safe_foods/
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If u have to go to a fast food place w friends what are ur orders? I like the egg mcmuffin from mcds and take off half the bun or I get a bean burrito from tbell bc it has decent fiber content
[Help] MFP still not working for anyone ?
/u/todd_blankenship_ [5’3” | sw 137 | cw 133 | gw 115 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:19:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uppoc/mfp_still_not_working_for_anyone/
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It won’t save any of my calories and I have to keep logging in and out. Anyone else still having issues on the mobile app?
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend said if i lose any more weight he won't be attracted to me anymore
/u/peachychamomile
Created: Tue Nov 6 09:06:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uplcv/my_boyfriend_said_if_i_lose_any_more_weight_he/
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Let me just start with saying I've been with him for over a year (but only recently relapsed with my ED in the last 3 months) and he's usually very supportive, and the best boyfriend ever! However I've lost about 18lbs in the past 3 months (gone from BMI 22 to BMI 19) and I've told him that my UGW is 95lbs and he follows me on my ED twitter where I post thinspo pics, so recently he's been saying stuff like I don't think those girls look attractive, they're too thin etc. I kind of ignored it at first until it clicked and I asked "do you mean that if I was that thin you wouldn't be attracted to me anymore?" and he kind of struggles to answer and says "well I'm not sure, maybe". Also since I've got down to BMI 19 he keeps saying "don't lose any more weight, you look perfect like this".
I don't know what to do, he knows that it's a mental illnesses and I can't help it, and I know he's just trying to be honest by saying he thinks extremely thin girls aren't attractive but it really hurts me, I need to be that thin and I personally find it very attractive?? But I don't want my boyfriend to stop being attracted to me!! Sorry this is just kind of a rant but also I would like help if anyone has any advice.
[Help] First meal/food/? after fasting...always fail at breaking fast
/u/BeginningBarnacle [5'4"|117lbs|-19lbs|F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:58:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upimq/first_mealfood_after_fastingalways_fail_at/
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I would really like to know, for those of you who have this fasting thing down, what do you plan to break your fast with?
And how do you not eat 2000 calories in one go?
Asking for a friend...
[Other] MFP Friends?
/u/littlesmol [5'5" | CW 156 | GW 90 | BMI 26 😭 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:37:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9upbz7/mfp_friends/
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Sorry if this isn’t the place to ask but does anyone wanna be friends on MFP? (Now that it’s actually working again lol) I can’t guarantee I’ll actually like talk to or message anyone because I barely even talk to people I know in real life anymore, but if you want a MFP friend that’ll make you feel better about your own habits every time she logs a 3000+ calorie binge then I’m your gal!!!! 😂 My username is littlesmol.
Anyone else living in LA or SoCal?
/u/hourglasslake
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9up8t5/anyone_else_living_in_la_or_socal/
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Living in the city of Angels and being surrounded by so many beautiful and thin women is insane. I moved here from another large American city but this city is something else. Women on other subreddits talk dismissively how it’s easy to only see young, beautiful women and feel competitive, but I work in a fairly “glamorous” field and work in a very trendy area where I see Instagram influencers and celebrities on a weekly basis while at lunch or running errands. People saying “oh, those are celebrities, not normal people” don’t get it. They ARE normal here. They aren’t all young. Plenty of gorgeous, thin women of all ages here. I’m a size 2 and feel huge standing next to some of my tiny co-workers.
Just wondering if anyone else here is dealing with a “normal” of extremely high standards?
[Rant/Rave] I just wanna brag
/u/michellenemangepas
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:25:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9up86b/i_just_wanna_brag/
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With everyone freaking out about not being able to use mfp, I'm feeling like I have a super power.
I've been using it on and off (mostly on) for about a year focusing on calories and protein.
For the past month I've been counting calories on my own because logging on the app while offline doesn't work (*grumble*) and I know the protein content of most of the foods I eat for protein.
I have evolved past using mfp. I am the ultimate calorie counting machine. 💪😍
I convinced myself everything was better at my LW and what a surprise, I was wrong.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:105 | bmi: 18.6 | wl: -8.4 | F | 24]
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9up7xh/i_convinced_myself_everything_was_better_at_my_lw/
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shocker, right?
I have been dreaming about getting back to 95 pounds for almost two years now. I kept giving up, or trying to recover, or getting paranoid about my hair falling out--i kept stopping and hovering about ten pounds above that. Man i missed 95, man i looked good at 95, everything would look better on me if i could just hit my low weight again.
Well, i was moving a bookshelf today so i took everything out of it. and i found an old journal that i kept from the end of college, through my lw. and im dumb, so i read all of it. I was so fucking miserable. Nonstop, just writing about how dumb i was and how much i hated that i wanted to eat, so mad at myself for bloating up to 98 pounds one day or eating 600cals another. so fucking sad. Literally, there are five or six pages where i just wrote a mantra over and over again and filled it like a crazy person. 'do not eat', 'starve, fatty', 'just breath', 'skinny'. holy fuck, like right out of a 2010 ana butterfly movie.
im not sure what my thesis statement is here. i guess, while i tend to glorify a single weight like it will change my whole life for the better, it wont. on the upside, i have learned to live with my disorder much better now. No more ana butterfly bullshit, im realistic now. learned how to supplement to not feel dead or faint anymore (thanks to you guys, shoutout), and im definitely more forgiving towards myself. so, at least i grew as a person? more importantly, at least i stopped leaving my shittiest thoughts on paper for me to read later and get upset about. that journal is in the recycling now.
have any of you guys found something to reflect on like this? how have you grown with your disorder, for better or worse?
[Rant/Rave] BF appreciation post- he legit made me a bar graph calorie counter thing bc MFP is down 😭
/u/orthoreXXX [23F | 5’4” | cw 110.6 | gw 99 | bmi 19.4]
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:11:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9up3yy/bf_appreciation_post_he_legit_made_me_a_bar_graph/
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https://i.redd.it/282kbmma8qw11.jpg
Dental work forcing me not to eat
/u/idahobeachhouse
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:08:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9up2y0/dental_work_forcing_me_not_to_eat/
---
I’m so happy. I got invisiligners and you can’t eat or drink anything except for water with them in. That means I have to decide each time I eat whether or not to do the whole process of taking them out, eating, brushing my teeth and then popping them back in (which HURTS). No more mindless snacking! Only foods I plan for from this point on! Plus straight teeth at the end of this. For once, my fucked up mouth has come in handy 😎
[Discussion] Does anyone else have the irrational fear of not losing fat?
/u/PuzzledPomegranate
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:06:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9up29q/does_anyone_else_have_the_irrational_fear_of_not/
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Like, I see my scale moving down everyday but I have this weird fear that my body will never lose the fat??? Like I think my body will somehow defy the laws of physics and just burn something else to get me down to my goal weight??? I know rationally that’s not going to happen but I still have this overwhelming fear that even at my GW I’ll just be nothing but fat
[Rant/Rave] Back Injury, Back to Starving
/u/aeroplanessky
Created: Tue Nov 6 08:03:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9up1ip/back_injury_back_to_starving/
---
God, I'm so upset. I had been doing sooooo well, not eating anything during the day, going to the gym after work, then eating well afterwards. The pounds were seriously melting off and I felt GREAT.
Then my stupid back. I pushed myself a little too much during a workout and immediately knew I Fucked Up afterwards. I've had this injury in the past, and it lasted 6 MONTHS. The only thing that made it go away was rest and time.
It hurts so much to run or do crossfit or anything. Even sitting is a huge pain, which of course my 8 hours at a desk isn't helping. And now that I've gotten used to eating somewhat normally, I'm gaining weight back.
So back to another 24 hour fast. I've done it before, I can do it again. But man, this sucks. This just really really really sucks.
Fuck day light savings
/u/shamefulanon
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:58:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uozsb/fuck_day_light_savings/
---
I finally got to skipping breakfast without being hungry and now eating anything til around 12 (maybe 11 in extra hungry days) after sleeping in til 8
Now my kids are waking up at 7 instead of 8, and I’m hungry even earlier. After a weekend of eating horribly while out of town this is the last thing I need
Today I poured my morning coffee...
/u/partywombat [5'1" | cw: 107lbs | lw: 104lbs | hw: 130lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:51:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uoxqs/today_i_poured_my_morning_coffee/
---
...And this time, I decided to measure the amount of soy creamer I put in.
I measured tablespoon after tablespoon, 20 calories each, until I had the same amount I drink every morning, sometimes with a second or third cup.
I got sick at 100 calories. All in all, I average 150-180 calories in every cup of coffee. I poured the cup down the drain and drank it black instead. This is what I used to do when I was good at restricting, so if that's what I have to do to end this binge-cycle, so be it.
Pro-tip for my friends here who can't do black coffee: If you pour some cold tap water in it it's like a budget Americano (lol I wish, but it does actually make it 10x more tolerable.)
[Rant/Rave] Power’s out and there’s candy everywhere
/u/smstton2
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:44:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uovsn/powers_out_and_theres_candy_everywhere/
---
So I got to work this morning and the power is out. All of us are sitting in the conference room waiting for the power to come back on, and there are bowls of Halloween candy all over the table. Everyone is just eating and eating. It’s not even 10am and there’s probably a hundred wrappers on the table between me and the four other women in here with me. I’ve eaten ONE piece and I want to die. I can’t go anywhere else but I hate sitting here watching them stuff their faces with candy
I am such a failure
/u/lilmdjd
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:12:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uoms4/i_am_such_a_failure/
---
Had my dinner and totaled around 850 last night, went to a hot yoga class, had a protein shake and then was dumb and smoked a bowl. not sure if you can have munchies in your sleep but APPARENTLY you can because I woke up and ate TWO????? Clif bars and pb in the middle of the night??? Fuck my body!!! I’m not even supposed to be eating carbs? Why am I like this??? I just wanna restrict and lose weight and I keep fucking everything up I am NEVER SMOKING AGAIN.
[Other] DAE hate "I DiDn'T eAt f0R THreE DaYs SO i C0uLD bE L0V3LY" because
/u/tiny-monaco
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:12:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uomp8/dae_hate_i_didnt_eat_f0r_three_days_so_i_c0uld_be/
---
\*\*IT TAKES! SO MUCH LONGER!\*\* THAN \*THREE DAYS!\*
6 word horror story: Forgot my ID, couldn't buy Monster
/u/Ronskyroo [5'10.5" | 23F | 20.8]
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:06:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uokx1/6_word_horror_story_forgot_my_id_couldnt_buy/
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This happened to me last night. Getting in my steps quite late, and I was planning on buying a new box of white monster to get me through a 48-hour intense restriction.
I go to checkout, and I get told they need my ID. I have never been ID'd for energy drinks before, you need to be 16 and I'm TWENTY THREE! I am an adult! I should be able to make dubiously unhealthy purchases at 11pm!
I just stared at the cashier for a bit, my brain was working quite slowly and I felt like only you guys would understand how I felt right then. It genuinely upset me, I can't stand not being able to make food/drink purchases exactly as planned. But alas, I didn't have my ID and trudged home empty-handed.
At least I don't look old? (bet it's these chubby cheeks goddamn)
Reminder... art by @frizzkidart
/u/GospodiPomilui
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:03:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uojzv/reminder_art_by_frizzkidart/
---
https://i.redd.it/qel0ktn0wpw11.jpg
6 word horror story: Forgot my ID, couldn't buy Monster
/u/Ronskyroo [5'10.5" | 23F | 20.8]
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:03:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uojrz/6_word_horror_story_forgot_my_id_couldnt_buy/
---
This happened to me last night. Getting in my steps quite late, and I was planning on buying a new box of white monster to get me through a 48-hour intense restriction.
I go to checkout, and I get told they need my ID. I have never been ID'd for energy drinks before, you need to be 16 and I'm TWENTY THREE! I am an adult! I should be able to make dubiously unhealthy purchases at 11pm!
But alas, I had forgotten it and had to trudge home empty handed.
At least I don't look old? But I don't look thin either so whatever
[Help] Fasting but gaining weight
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW: 116 | GW 100-105 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 07:01:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uojf8/fasting_but_gaining_weight/
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I feel thinner, I don’t look bloated. But this morning my scale said 117. Before it said 116. Could it be period water retention?
[Goal] I did my first timed fast!
/u/Rapudash
Created: Tue Nov 6 06:30:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uoau0/i_did_my_first_timed_fast/
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So usually when I fast, I don’t time it. But per your suggestions, I got the fast habit app and timed my fast yesterday and having a timer was SO SO helpful. Especially since that app has a percentage of how much you’ve completed, so I was so ready to see it hit 100%. And I did!! Today I’m doing a 9 hour fast, tomorrow 10, etc. til i’ve gotten to not eating for at least one whole day a week.
Ok but I was finally feeling good about myself
/u/strongbutkindahungry [5'3"F | 130 ]
Created: Tue Nov 6 06:28:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uoahp/ok_but_i_was_finally_feeling_good_about_myself/
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I’m a pro athlete and so post workouts etc on my Instagram, mainly so young athletes can see what we get up to as I know I’d have appreciated that when I was younger. I’ve just got back to training after a long off season (I.e. long binge cycle, can’t seem to stop myself when I know I won’t have to compete) and so had put a bit of weight on.
These past few weeks I’ve been working hard to get it back off and I’m down to only half a kilo more than my competition weight, so very normal for this time of year and was starting to feel way more ok than usual about my weight.
Cue random man on instagram - I posted a video of my workout and he replied saying “wow you look fuller than usual, have you been eating lots in your off season?”
Aaaaaand now it’s time to fast 🙃
Here’s hoping you guys and gals feel a little better about yourselves today, sendin love
Fasted right into a binge
/u/habituallywondering
Created: Tue Nov 6 06:23:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uo94z/fasted_right_into_a_binge/
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I was finally able to do a 24 hour fast. It was my first and I was so excited. But of course, as soon as I got home from work around 7AM, I binged. I tried to calculate what I ate and it was maybe 900-1000 (technically 800ish but my brain refuses to acknowledge the math and rounds up). I feel like such a failure. I’m making it a OMAD and fasting at least until tomorrow morning. Trying to convince my brain that just because I binged doesn’t mean the day is ruined and I might as well eat everything in my cupboards is so damn hard. But I’m going to try and use my minuscule amount of willpower to turn this around. Now that I know that I can do 24 hours of fasting, time to challenge myself to do 30!
[Rant/Rave] I recovered once
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Tue Nov 6 06:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uo526/i_recovered_once/
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And it was everything a healthy recovery could be. I gained weight, however; the gain was slow and I monitored myself closely to make sure that I did not gain too fast or too much. I began to eat better because I always knew how to do so, I just couldn’t help but restrict. Afterward, I even began to lose weight again, very slowly and healthily.
Physically I felt great; I have lot going on mentally that just can’t be cured.
That was years ago. I know after a long while I could do that again but I have to find a will to live again. Like many this isn’t just about getting skinny for me. My end goal isn’t simple thin. It’s—dare do I say, self harm.
*****no unsolicited recovery advice please! Just confessed I know how to go about it and I obviously don’t WANT to. I’m just ranting.*****
[Rant/Rave] Week-long plateau
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | 127lbs | 19.31 | -28lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 05:52:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uo1f6/weeklong_plateau/
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Literally what the hell??? My weight hasn’t budged for almost a whole week even though I haven’t binged or anything, and the week before that I only lost like 1lb. My mum has started making me eat high calorie greasy breakfasts (e.g. roll on sausage or french toast, etc) every day to stop me from losing weight but I’ve found ways around it without being suspicious and I’ve been managing 800-1200 every day, and that’s not including the 400-500 calories I burn every week day. If I see the same number on the scale one more time I’m going to scream. I should’ve been under 9st by now :(
[Other] only 7 weeks left until Christmas!!!
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Tue Nov 6 05:32:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unwq4/only_7_weeks_left_until_christmas/
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to everyone who also missed their goal by accidentally still being fat instead of a gracious pretty skeleton on Halloween- our next reveal date is coming closer!
Thought there was so much time left and that I’d totally and very easily be at my gw then but now I spent a lot of time looking in the mirror naked and then I looked at my calendar and freaked out.
My plans: I want to low restrict most days with one high restrict day per week, and no bingeing until Christmas Eve! I want to be in the double digits when 2019 starts, it’s completely doable but I kept fucking up - but this ends now!
guys and gals and non-binary peeps, we got this!!!!
What are your goals?
Someone posted a link to a website that generates recipes based on your daily calorie budget
/u/fefebear [5'1"| CW: 149lbs | SW: 165lbs | GW:100lbs| Female]
Created: Tue Nov 6 05:26:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unv9g/someone_posted_a_link_to_a_website_that_generates/
---
I cant find it now. Help
Tops for long torsos (rec)
/u/Makoschar
Created: Tue Nov 6 05:24:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unuug/tops_for_long_torsos_rec/
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Tl;dr: brand recommendations for tops for tall women with long torsos who are a size 0-2.
What clothing brand sells tops for long torsos that don’t size up! In a desperate effort to buy a dress shirt that was long enough I bought a tall size 2 from Old Navy and it is floating on me.
I’m 5’9 and 121lbs but my torso is alienishly long.
chest 32.5, waist 27, hips 35, girth 66
In comparison my 5’9 friend is:
Chest 35.5, waist 28, hips 37, girth 61.5
So yeah I can’t go to Asian brands even though they fit me wonderfully (but are basically crop tops). I’m lost with all the weird Canadian (and American sizing)!
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday November 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 6 05:09:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unrry/thinspo_tuesday_november_06_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
Daily Food Diary! November 06, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 6 05:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unrli/daily_food_diary_november_06_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 06, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] depression hitting hard lol
/u/sugarolive
Created: Tue Nov 6 04:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unlod/depression_hitting_hard_lol/
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For the first time in a long time I would like to eat something. Normally I feel even bad thinking about food. But I can’t eat because I feel like I’m going to throw up.
Along with an ed I have also been suffering from depression for a looong time now. And for a while I was doing so good. Yesterday though I had the worst panic attack I ever had, I felt like I was going to die. I just don’t really see a point in anything anymore, I feel so hollow and mad at myself for being so fucked up. How do you guys cope with things like this? Because I kinda feel like giving up
My boobs are deflating.
/u/aka-trashpanda
Created: Tue Nov 6 04:29:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unjr0/my_boobs_are_deflating/
---
Legit, I didn't realise how much weight I've lost until put on my favourite bra this morning and the cups are were big. I had to stuff socks in my bra to fill it out.
[Rant/Rave] My aunt knows :/
/u/artheau [5’11 | 142 | 20M]
Created: Tue Nov 6 04:19:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unhwv/my_aunt_knows/
---
I’ve really wanted to talk to someone about how she’s been around me, but I haven’t because I would reveal that I have an ED. I’m maintaining my weight, but fluctuating up and down 5-10 pounds. It’s hardly noticeable on my body because of my height, but my face gets soooo bloated when I hit around 150 or higher.
I’ve been living with my aunt for over 2 years now since I’ve started uni. But anyways, since I’m living with her, she notices my eating patterns. And she can tell if I’ve eaten anything, whether if she sees dishes being dried, or straight out asking me what I’ve eaten that day. I don’t think people care what someone else has eaten unless they suspect they have an eating disorder (correct me if I’m wrong). I used to take food from the fridge and create a meal, let the smell carry in the air, create a dirty dish, so I wouldn’t have to answer any questions. But lately I’ve been so busy with uni projects, that I’m gladly prioritizing that over eating in general. My aunts been great, she’s even buying food for me. I don’t want to take advantage of her, so I ask for minimal things like veggies or soymilk. Because I ask her for so little, it raises alarms and she asks me if I even eat at all. I assure her that I do, since she brings leftovers home all the time, so I rarely have the chance to go through my own food. Not that I’m eating that often either. I do eat dinner with her, but that’s about it. I don’t think even that meal makes a difference for her worry, since she knows that’s the only meal I eat in that day. Sometimes I’ll restrict the whole day and lie about what I had. It’s somewhat annoying, but I find it endearing. Usually when she’s out of town, my uncle gives no fucks, and I’m able to restrict for daaaaaays (not that I’m complaining.
TLDR: Basically, I don’t want her to worry, but I also feel guilty if I were to hit a certain weight.
This is a pretty lowkey rant, I just really needed to get it out.
Thanks for listening babes.
Loved ones unknowingly helping me restrict
/u/LooseSyrup
Created: Tue Nov 6 04:04:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9unf3r/loved_ones_unknowingly_helping_me_restrict/
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Today I ate nothing all day until I came home to my boyfriend’s. we usually eat dinner together so I restrict until then. He knows I struggle with an ED but doesn’t really the extent to which I hide it. I had about 250 kcal worth of food and then had some sugar free jello (about 10 kcal). I had a craving for noodles so we made a 150 kcal serving for me.
Then, my binge mode almost started. I asked him if i should eat half a slice of 80 kcal bread and he said “you’re eating too much”. Then I completely shut down. He realized after what he had said then started adamantly heading to the kitchen to make me some bread. I kept refusing though but I felt so ugly and disgusted with myself for wanting to eat so much and having him notice. What do you guys do when someone comments on how much you’re eating?
[Discussion] DAE eat normally for a time then gets super obsessed for a period as well?
/u/StressedCookie
Created: Tue Nov 6 03:54:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9und6m/dae_eat_normally_for_a_time_then_gets_super/
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I feel like a wannabe-rexic. I have stuck with restriction, but sometimes my self control just doesn't stick and I eat. Hell, I b/p yesterday but that's another story.
I still stress out with counting and nothing over 1000 but I go on a different mindset when I strictly restrict.
Like there has to be a button that's get on? A trigger? Like I could be fine this week then the next I'm going on full restrict mode without getting hungry, living off energy drinks.
On mobile so pls flair as discussion
[Rant/Rave] The more weight I lose, the bigger I look.
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW:124lbs | HW:160lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 03:08:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9un4qx/the_more_weight_i_lose_the_bigger_i_look/
---
What. The. Hell. The more weight I lose, the fatter I look. I'm losing weight from my arms, boobs and calves, but my not my thighs and stomach. My proportions are so terrible, I look 2 sizes bigger than I am. All this stomach fat is so manly, and ass is flat but my thighs are huge? If I'm gonna be fat, I wish it was at least feminine and curvy in the right places. I think my proportions will always be masculine as I lose weight. Why can't I just be a f\*\*king tiny and delicate fairy?
[Discussion] Do you facetune/photoshop your photos?
/u/bipolarspacecop [M/21]
Created: Tue Nov 6 02:55:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9un2fb/do_you_facetunephotoshop_your_photos/
---
Since finding r/Instagramreality, I don’t trust anything on instagram. I follow so many asian and european models who are “impossibly” thin or good looking on there and now I realise their looks may be ACTUALLY impossible. I’ve been feeling bad about not looking like these people when they don’t even look like that! This is Felice Fawn all over again SMH 🤦♂️ i hate social media
[Rant/Rave] i think this is my lowest
/u/lighghtup [5'7" | 164 | 25.5 | 19F | -18 | thicc]
Created: Tue Nov 6 02:50:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9un1l9/i_think_this_is_my_lowest/
---
i’m pretty sure i just accidentally inhaled a bug, and the first thing i thought of was the calories a fruit fly might contain...
welp bois, the world has truly ended
[Discussion] How do you feel about vegetarians who aren’t doing it for the animals?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 02:39:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umzn3/how_do_you_feel_about_vegetarians_who_arent_doing/
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I’m thinking of becoming vegetarian, because I want to follow the blood type diet and it’ll cut out more calories. Only a small part of me is doing it for the animals and that makes me feel so guilty.
This has probably been asked a million times already....
/u/bulafilly_squad
Created: Tue Nov 6 02:05:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umtt0/this_has_probably_been_asked_a_million_times/
---
I’ve just started low restricting to below 500cal a day and I’m mostly using that to try and get at least 20g protein and loads of fruit and veg. One thing I have noticed already (after only like 2 days) is how much more water I need to drink because every time I pee I’m super dehydrated (tmi lol) Also, I get really lightheaded every time I stand up- does anyone have any tips on how to feel less lightheaded? I’m going to try and chug like 3lt water a day but other than that! Thank youuuu
[Rant/Rave] "ABC diet benefits" from StyleCraze...The fuck?
/u/AspergersAndCoffee
Created: Tue Nov 6 01:42:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umpxt/abc_diet_benefits_from_stylecrazethe_fuck/
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https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/abc-diet-and-benefits/?amp=1
I'm recovering, my mother is understanding, not pushy, and very supportive, and I'm so happy.
/u/HungryThrowMeAway [🌹4'11 | CW 91-90 lbs | GW 85 lbs | -35 lbs | F🌹]
Created: Tue Nov 6 01:38:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ump8y/im_recovering_my_mother_is_understanding_not/
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So, last night, I opened up to my mom about my anorexia.
​
She knew. She has the mother 6th sense. I was honest with her about dumping my meal replacement shakes. She didn't yell at me, or get angry, just had me drink one in front of her. It was actually really delicious. She told me she wants me to eat at least 1,000 calories a day right now, and that I have to eat them in front of her, but she won't pressure me into eating things I feel uncomfortable eating. She knows I'm more comfortable eating frozen meals, and she's okay with that. She is encouraging me to gain some weight (my flair is inaccurate, I'm currently 79-80) pounds, but says that her main priority is me not losing anymore. She wants me to be 90 pounds eventually, but thinks that getting up to 85 is a reasonable goal right now, and that I don't have to worry about 90 pounds just yet.
​
I agreed to eat my food in front of her from now on, and not dump my drinks anymore.
​
She has also agreed to measure food more when she cooks, since I find it really hard to eat food when I don't know how much of everything is in it.
​
And she says she's proud of me for making an effort to get better, and for eating. She gets that it isn't just about wanting to be skinny, and that EDs are more complicated. She also isn't one of those "yoU nEeD 2000 cAlOrIeS a DaY tO MaiNtAiN AnY weIgHT," people (though right now she's really happy if I'll eat 2000, for obvious reasons. She just knows that I don't need it forever, once I'm weight restored).
​
So there. My mom is loving, understanding, reasonable, supportive, not pushy, but still making sure I get enough to eat, as well as celebrating the small victories.
​
Thank you Mom. I love you.
​
(P.S) Butternut pecan Ensure shakes are the shit.
Lowest weight ever after a 3 day binge
/u/sugafreedreams [18M / 181cm 🏳️🌈 Highest BMI: 30.3 / Current BMI: 16.9]
Created: Tue Nov 6 01:33:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umof0/lowest_weight_ever_after_a_3_day_binge/
---
So the whoosh finally happened, after basically binging nonstop for 3 days (+3500 calories a day without purging once), I'm now 2 days later at a BMI of 16.6 and the lowest weight I have ever been since middle school!
I had been restricting without counting calories for like 2 months prior to the binge spree and had lost almost no weight at all, even though estimating afterwards I was eating around 1000-1200 a day and should have lost way way more. Now the binge triggered a water weight loss, revealing all the weight I had actually lost during the past 2 months.
[Rant/Rave] fuck being short
/u/pinkdonutdemon
Created: Tue Nov 6 01:21:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umm7g/fuck_being_short/
---
I’m 5’2 and even when I’m underweight, I don’t look it. People describe my body type as “average”, “healthy”, “normal”- never skinny. I have huge stumpy legs and fat arms even when I’m at my lowest weight, trying my absolute heart out, eating nothing and collapsing all the time. And I know it’s not body dysmorphia because people agreed with me that I looked fine at my LW. Fuck being fucking short I’m gonna get liposuction on my fat thighs.
Protein powder/shakes
/u/moon___night
Created: Tue Nov 6 01:17:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umlpx/protein_powdershakes/
---
I'm trying to up my protein intake without adding too many calories. Usually I just eat protein bars but I've been starting to look into powder/shakes, does anyone have any tips or ideas when it comes to this? A lot of shakes seem so high calorie but I'm sure theres a way of getting more protein in fewer calories.
Help me I'm stuck in a binge purge cycle
/u/tinyfleabite [5'2.5|95 lbs|BMI 17| I don't eat I photosynthesise]
Created: Tue Nov 6 01:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umiu2/help_me_im_stuck_in_a_binge_purge_cycle/
---
My granddad's dead and I don't know the guy but my family's gone overseas to visit him and my dad caught me purging THE DAY HE DIED oh my god I suck. Someone help I've had 4000 calories a day for the past two days and I have exams but I'm too tired and drained to study.
Sorry this makes no sense. Rn at my house there's a bulimic teenager in the middle of a crazy BP cycle, a senile old lady and a fat border collie. It's like a fucking sitcom up in this bitch.
Anyone else not feel guilty over their ed and behaviors?
/u/Yungpupusa
Created: Tue Nov 6 00:55:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umhfu/anyone_else_not_feel_guilty_over_their_ed_and/
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If I’m given free food I’ll take it(know what’s it like to go without food without a choice) I’ll just give it my roommates or my family members. I don’t care if it’s someone’s birthday, someone invites me out. I’ll eat what I’m comfortable with. It’s my fucking body & I want it to look a certain way. No ones going to fucking stop me. I just don’t feel bad about it. About counting calories, chugging tea. I don’t lie about my eating habits either. Maybe I’m just weird. Like if a coworker were to ask me what I had for lunch I’d be honest and say nothing or tell them what I actually had. I blatantly tell my roommates I’m going to starve myself. 😩 just feel out of place here lol
I'm so selfish
/u/sensitivebaby [5'0" | UGW 90lbs | BMI 25 | -13lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 6 00:35:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ume0g/im_so_selfish/
---
I just read a bunch about how badly cows are treated & especially how much more horrible it is for dairy cows. Started crying while reading. It really is disgusting- I won't go into detail, but dairy is just totally ruined for me now.
My fucked up, egotistical ED mind is like *nice, so many more calories lost now that I'm not eating cheese anymore.*
I hate myself. How can I really care about how much suffering is going on. I'm too depressed and just want to be thin.
food now and hungry later or hungry now and food later?
/u/mentalcasethrowaway [1.71m | SW: 69.7kg | CW: 64.6kg | GW: 60kg, 54kg, 50kg | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 00:29:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9umcvq/food_now_and_hungry_later_or_hungry_now_and_food/
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hang on, i think i got it. food never and hungry always :)
[Rant/Rave] heard voices tonight
/u/2ndfirstday [5'5" | 101 lbs | 16.8 BMI | -3 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 6 00:10:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9um9ep/heard_voices_tonight/
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was walking home after a night out with friends.
“you ate too much. you ruined us. we were so close to our goal.”
i was doing that weird hyperventilating-type cry and trying to make the contractions trigger my gag reflex, even though i havent puked in five years. i just dont think my body will let me.
i feel like shit. the voice is right. seriously need to restrict.
[Help] This sub makes me too comfortable to share things. (TMI)
/u/angsty_unistudent
Created: Tue Nov 6 00:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9um7uf/this_sub_makes_me_too_comfortable_to_share_things/
---
So I haven’t pooped in 5-6 days. I feel like it’s because I haven’t had much to eat. I’ve had a couple of crackers here and there and small snacks, but I haven’t gone over 200 cals (except for a birthday brunch for a friend Sunday). I’ve been ending each day net -500 calories though also because I’ve been working out too.
But the scale hasn’t moved. My bowel has also not moved. It’s driving me mental.
Yesterday I had four (4!) green teas and still nothing. So today I’ve eaten a wrap (419), some soup (136), some carrots + hummus (90) and some avocado (78) and crackers (96). It was really difficult to get it all down and I already feel incredibly guilty, I haven’t been over 800 cals in a long time, but enough is enough.
surely I shit. I need this. I’m hoping for a whoosh, but I’d be more than happy to just know my digestive system is working. I don’t want to go down the lax rabbit hole.
Pray 4 me plz. This disorder is so fucking glam right?
Fasting vs restricting. Which is easier for you? Which do you like more?
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 94.6 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 70 🍑 smallest_madeline]
Created: Mon Nov 5 23:32:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9um22p/fasting_vs_restricting_which_is_easier_for_you/
---
Which do you find easier?
I actually like fasting so much better. I make less decisions on food. I save money. Once I've been fasting for a while I'm not even hungry. I love the autophagy benefits and I've heard it's good for mental clarity. I like all the science behind it being better than low calorie diets. It's supposedly better for fat loss.
The only problem is restricting is so much easier to do in front of other people! I'm in a grad program and we are around each other a lot during "lunch time" and restricting/OMAD is so much easier to do without people asking questions. Straight up not eating is harder to do from a social perspective. But I find restricting harder mentally because I have to prep meals, weigh and measure them, buy them, etc. I also feel like once I have food in my mouth I crave more food.
What about you guys? Which do you like more and which do you find to be easier?
[Other] MFP IS UP GUYS!!!
/u/h1217579
Created: Mon Nov 5 23:19:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulzjy/mfp_is_up_guys/
---
I’m so happy rn :D
DAE’s major reason to want to be skinny is to be aesthetic?
/u/irisllama
Created: Mon Nov 5 23:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulxtl/daes_major_reason_to_want_to_be_skinny_is_to_be/
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I do not care about being more attractive for guys. I do not think that I am an ugly monster that does not look good in anything, but I want to be skinny for myself. Because every time I look at something aesthetically pleasing, it makes me happy, and for me skinny is aesthetically pleasing.
ANA => BED (very triggering!)
/u/silent_meringue
Created: Mon Nov 5 22:38:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulqtt/ana_bed_very_triggering/
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Y'all...I'm so fucked haha. This might be REALLY triggering so please click away if you need to. I mention my stats in this and I have a really fucked up mindset about my weight now. I promise and swear I'm not a troll: I'm just someone who's had/has a really fucked up relationship with food.
So around 2 years ago I kickstarted my ED with Ana. I dropped my weight really fast because of an eating habit/dieting tip I discovered for myself. I was super skinny. Like, I couldn't sit for 10 min without my butt bones digging into my butt and hurting me. There was no fat under my arms and fat in my face. My nose bridge was super prominent and so was my jawline, along with the rest of my features. I couldn't fast a whole day without eating, but I could subsist on a very small amount. I was scared to death of carbs and meat.
My stats were 5'4 and around 105-110. This doesn't sound like much, but because of my body type (swimmer's body), the weight loss looked kind of more drastic on me than it sounds like it would. It was honestly glorious. This is so fucked up, but my relatives and friends' parents always showed concern over how skinny I was. I loved it. Everything looked 10x better on me. Clothing looks amazing when you're skinny.
I have broad shoulders, so with my frame I looked really skinny. My thighs were tiny. My waist was tiny. There was no fat under my arms. I didn't even know it was possible to have arms or legs that skinny. There was no fat on my forearms either. I could lay down and put my knees together and my thigh gap was huge. This is going to sound weird, but I did contortions in the mirror before I showered, like stretching while naked, and I looked disgustingly skinny. I loved it.
Only drawbacks were: I couldn't poop and I was sick and cold all the time. My hair fell out. I loved it though. I want to go back to that. Oh, and also my mindset was horrible. I have really bad social anxiety/depression, and it really was multiplied when I was dieting (lack of carbs). I became shut off and cold.
Then, I developed BED while I still had Ana. Because I cut out my lunch, I went home everyday and stuffed myself with thousands of calories, but I still was skinny. I think I starved myself deep into starvation mode so my body was craving tons of calories to simply exist. I went to bed every night, stuffed full, gassy, and bloated, but I was still under 110.
Also, not sure if you guys experienced this, but my palate changed a lot: now I love sweets. Before, I used to be kind of turned off by sweets. But now I can't get enough of sweets, even though I've gained weight now.
I moved out of my parents' house and let me tell you. I've gained so much weight. I'll end up binging on like everything in sight (I don't purge). I'm at least 125-130 now. With my frame/body type, I look really broad. I can't see my ribs in the middle of my torso. My thighs are honestly tree trunks.
I don't know how I used to subsist on just salads and protein shakes. I want to go back so bad. I want to look so skinny. I'm so fucking unhappy now. I'm so sad because I want to lose weight. I want to change. I picked up the BED habits but don't have the Ana body anymore to maintain these habits. I look so swollen and bloated. I'm so ugly now.
The one thing that's good about my body type is that I lose weight easily. But I don't have the self-control to maintain it or to restrict anymore. It's like I try to restrict, but I end up eating everything in sight. I hate it. I want to go back to how I was before, even though it was disgustingly skinny. Nobody would look at me and think, "Wow, she definitely has an ED."
I don't know what I wanted to get by writing this post. I think I just wanted to get it off my chest. I think I really want to restrict now. I need to find the will to restrict though. I want people around me to look concerned about my eating habits and think I am too skinny.
I don't know what to do, guys. Thank you to those of you who read this. Please let me know if anyone else has experienced this.
Please give me some encouragement to restrict/diet again. Give me a list of reasons why I need to develop self-control. I want to be skinny again, I truly do. Please help me get I really, really want to drop my weight and fast. I love you guys. (Ironically) Please stay safe <3
[Discussion] The Dreaded Dentist Visit HELP?!
/u/carolineeo [5'7" | 115 | 18 | 22F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 22:37:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulqp6/the_dreaded_dentist_visit_help/
---
So I've been putting off my regular check up for far too long as I already had a root canal at 17 and the last time I had a check up they straight up confronted me if I was bulimic.
I know I need to at least see where my chompers are at and what preventative care I can take at this point, but I also am not in a place where I am not ready for recovery but want to do what I can for damage control.
Anyone with experience on this? Tips, what to say and avoid... idk give it all to me plz
[Discussion] Experience with psyllium husk capsules?
/u/thirteencat [5'3.5" | 107 | GW: 100 | UGW: 95| F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 22:31:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulpao/experience_with_psyllium_husk_capsules/
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Has anyone tried taking psyllium husk capsules daily to help them become more regular? I ordered the NOW brand ones on Amazon today and I’m praying they’ll work. I’ve been super bloated & backed up lately and keep eating a ton to trigger a BM but it makes me super anxious to be eating so much and seeing the scale go up.
What are your experiences with the capsules and are there any differences between them and psyllium husk powder?
Beautiful Dainty Bitch Tips 101 (anti-binge)
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 22:26:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulo9w/beautiful_dainty_bitch_tips_101_antibinge/
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Inspired by [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulgoj/what_are_your_favorite_beauty_products_that_you/) post, but let’s talk non-product-specific pamper activities.
I’m a very sensory person fyi and these make me feel super clean and grounded AND has helped prevent binges.
- A rose water mist. It smells beautiful and uber luxe. Spritz yourself at your boudoir, picture your lover awaiting for you. Smelling something sweet can be enough to satiate sweet cravings. Plus the smells of florals, incense etc can be strong enough to actually make eating food in that environment less appetising.
- A shower or bath with the lights off. Steam fogging up the mirrors, the soft orange glow of your radiator warming the thick fluffy towels. Then after the shower, lying on your crisp fresh newly made bed. It’s orgasmic.
- Listen to asmr with your eyes closed. High heels clacking on marble. Popcorn popping. The sharp crack and fizz of a can of Diet Cole being opened.
- Hang around in liminal spaces. Visit a convenience store at 3am with no other customers around. Standing still in corridors. Go outside and lay in the middle of a deserted road (ok don’t get run over though ha). It’s weird and disembodying but in a calm dream-like way for me.
- Go for a walk in brisk, bite-y air. You know when the temperature is as crisp as apples, creamy and cold like icecream? When it makes your nose turn pink and your veins sing in the cold? Exhilirating.
- Live your best bougie life even on a budget. Put on a face mask (refrigerated prior) and cucumber slices for your eyes. Paint your nails or sit in the bathtub with diet soda or sparkling water from a champagne glass. All these things make me feel fancy af and makes it harder to physically eat.
- Put an ice cube in your mouth and let it melt or crunch down on it, imagining the cold water moving down your throat, and imagine you’re transparent like glass. Such a Clean Satisfying Image for me
Any other tips y’all have?
[Discussion] Anyone else feel that if you dont have hunger pangs that you've failed?
/u/karrierpigeon
Created: Mon Nov 5 22:10:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulkmy/anyone_else_feel_that_if_you_dont_have_hunger/
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[Rant/Rave] so i got x rays
/u/dollydomer [5'6 | 107.8|GW 100 |F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 22:09:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulkdz/so_i_got_x_rays/
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and my pediatrician called my mom and said that my hips look malnourished
:) great
good and bad actually
1) good because ed is c r a z y and finds validation in malnourishment
2) bad because i have to follow up with her and i have eating disorder in my history
[Rant/Rave] word vomit is the only kind I produce (tale of a binge episode)
/u/sloggingon [FtM 5’6” | CW 105 | 17.0 | GW 99]
Created: Mon Nov 5 22:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uljv3/word_vomit_is_the_only_kind_i_produce_tale_of_a/
---
I only binge on my own baking when I ruin it. It pisses me off to no end. This time I was trying to make macarons as a thank-you to some family members, which are finicky enough already to make. But it turns out they don’t have a stand mixer, so I had to use a hand mixer; I blame that mostly. Macarons didn’t cook right and stuck to the paper, icing didn’t mix properly and had tiny chunks of butter in a soupy sugary mess.
I salvaged what I could and binged on the rest in front of my uncle, who was watching TV so hopefully he didn’t really see just how much I was eating?? It’s so embarrassing binging with others around. I’m just glad there wasn’t a HUGE amount of food for me to binge on—it was probably 2000-3000 calories total, just all super dense bc sugar and butter. Of course, I had already eaten 1501 calories prior due to my recent focus on ~maintaining~ and ~building muscle~.
I feel really sick to my stomach now, but I can’t purge because 1. I know most of it wouldn’t come up and 2. they might hear or notice, or I might clog their toilet because it’s pretty weak. Plus I’m about to go visit my best friend at her college for a few days and I know we’re going to eat a shitton of food. Can’t wait to see the number on the scale when I get back, hah.
What are your favorite beauty products that you use to feel like a human being?
/u/coldbrewkweeen [5'8 | CW: 122 | UGW: 115 | SW: 140 | 26F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:54:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulgoj/what_are_your_favorite_beauty_products_that_you/
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https://i.redd.it/glqmw7336nw11.jpg
[Help] I am so happy + I have a question
/u/thestarvingaries
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:48:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulfc2/i_am_so_happy_i_have_a_question/
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I only had 470 calories today and I am so happy. After a rough couple days of just ignoring calories and eating like shit, I started keto again and logged everything I ate today.
Does anyone know of any free apps like MFP but are centered around the ketogenic diet?
[Discussion] Why is everyone freaking out about MFP?
/u/hamaesa [5'5|cw 105|gw 97|lw 87|F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:40:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uldcd/why_is_everyone_freaking_out_about_mfp/
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So I've never used my fitness pal, and know absolutely nothing about it. Is it really important? How does it affect calories? I'm absolutely lost what even is going on
I know we’re all feeling this here
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:39:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uld96/i_know_were_all_feeling_this_here/
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But like fuck I just wanna lose more weight, it’s all I’m asking for :’)
“Holy shit you’ve lost weight! You’re looking sexy!”
/u/wellismel
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uld0r/holy_shit_youve_lost_weight_youre_looking_sexy/
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BLISS.
Context: I was “thin” at one stage, then ballooned about 20kg, then lost 10kg in about 2-3 months.
[Rant/Rave] My roommate did something really annoying tonight
/u/realthrowawayhrs
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:38:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ulcyk/my_roommate_did_something_really_annoying_tonight/
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we were talking about something i don’t even remember and i mentioned how i only eat like one meal a day. she definitely didn’t hide her judgement and kinda just shamed me, saying “omg that is so unhealthy” and when i just kinda shrugged and said nothing she was like “seriously that is really bad for you” and i still wasn’t responding i just went on my phone and she said something along those lines again after I STILL WASN’T SAYING SHIT. i can’t even really put my finger on why it was so annoying it just seems like its not her place. literally i know it’s not healthy but i’m not trying to be healthy i’m trying to not be fat anymore!! also little does she know i usually don’t eat a meal on a good day, maybe just a small snack. if she knew how many calories i actually ate per day she’d probably report me to our university or something. also she shouldn’t be one talking about healthy eating when she eats and snacks on unhealthy shit constantly👀 get off your fucking pedestal and stop acting like you know more about my eating habits than you do and like yours are any fucking better :) anyways i just had to get this out lol sorry for being a bitter bitch it was just bothering me
[Rant/Rave] College is one big binge
/u/VisualBlizzard
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:26:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ul9xh/college_is_one_big_binge/
---
Like does anyone have restricting tips for college because I just can’t and I get so mad at myself for gaining and allowing myself to eat so damn much. There’s food and distractions everywhere and I’m out of control and need to stop
I love getting so drunk I throw up
/u/VisualBlizzard
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:18:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ul7wp/i_love_getting_so_drunk_i_throw_up/
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Anyone else? I usually can’t purge due to some nerve issues in the back of my throat so alcohol is usually my only way I can get stuff up. It’s just the best feeling
Longest binge cycle?
/u/AbandonEarth [:'(]
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:15:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ul782/longest_binge_cycle/
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I used to post here a while ago, but about a year ago I gained weight, got too embarrassed to post (lmao, still am but w/e), and have been binging ever since.
I've been straight up binging/overeating for so long and so regularly I doubt it really counts a 'cycle' anymore, since a cycle implies that I'll break out of it and not remain miserable and fat.
Regardless, I was wondering if anyone else has experience stopping binging after such a long time, and am just wondering about other people's experiences and the longest they struggled with binge eating before breaking out.
So yeah, what is/was your longest binge cycle?
going on a trip to japan - advice?
/u/haihanayellin [5'11ish | CW | BMI 20 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ul67l/going_on_a_trip_to_japan_advice/
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hi everyone, im a chronic lurker here and i havent really posted much before now. im not 100% sure if its actually ok for me to post this as i dont really have an eating disorder, but i definitely have some disorded eating habits and i thought this community might have some advice :')
in early December im going on a trip to Japan for 3 weeks! im trying to restrict as much as possible before then because I want to try a lot of different Japanese food that I cant get here (australia)..
do you guys have any advice on low calorie products specific to japan that I should get? I want to bring some back home because products at the asian grocery are limited and expensive... I know I want to get some konjac jelly but I dont know much outside of that - shirataki noodles are probably cheaper there, but will they survive the plane?
id also appreciate any advice in general about foods to avoid and foods that are more low calorie than they seem? I'm going with my mum..
for starters I'm planning to avoid tempura as much as I can (although I love the crunchiness 😪) and when we get sushi I'm going to stick to sashimi...
thanks so much !
[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else terrified of eating breakfast and lunch?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:111 | 17.32]
Created: Mon Nov 5 21:04:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ul483/is_anyone_else_terrified_of_eating_breakfast_and/
---
Even if they’re tiny meals I feel SO GUILTY. I’m so irrationally afraid of these two meals.
Help :/
MFP is back online!
/u/6sixofspades66 [5ft 5.5in | CW 150.1 | BMI 24.2 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:57:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ul27q/mfp_is_back_online/
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Just as the title states! It is working again. Thank God the anxiety is over
my therapist told my parents so in order to not make it a big deal i stopped restricting around them which resulted in a binge that lasted like 2 weeks
/u/seeyasis
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:56:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ul1w5/my_therapist_told_my_parents_so_in_order_to_not/
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so basically i BINGED FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS TO GET THEM OFF MY BACK AND IVE GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT AND YOU CAN AFTUALLY SEE HOW MUCH I HAVE LIKE ITS VISABLE WEIGHT GAIN AND I WANT TO SCREAM BC I CANT STOP THE BINGE CYCLE AND I HAVENT BEEN PURGING SO ITS HARDER TO AND I SNAJSNDHJWJDBSHSBX
[Rant/Rave] it’s 10 pm and i’m so hungry.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukz5i/its_10_pm_and_im_so_hungry/
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i only had three things to eat today. i’ve been giving in to my ED and restricting. the logical part of me says to eat. my stomach is hurting so bad but i need to be thinner. i want a snack, just a little snack. :(
Anxiety
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:47:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukz19/anxiety/
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MyFitnesspal stopped working for a while and omg i’ve never been more anxious lmao. I was about to flip y’all.
Accidental fasting
/u/RedTapeMedia
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:45:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukyhc/accidental_fasting/
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Today i spur of the moment decided to go work out at the park. I haven't worked out in months so this was a welcome surprise. I finished the trail at 8:30 pm and figured it was too late to eat dinner so now i'm just chilling in bed. Surprisingly don't feel hungry! Finished the day at 500 odd calories. And whatever i burned on the trail.
Feels good!
[Discussion] Obsessed with planning lowcal meals?
/u/cattivity
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:38:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukw6i/obsessed_with_planning_lowcal_meals/
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I'm kind of in love with planning my lowcal meals for the day. It's almost become a hobby at this point lmao. Like a fun game of seeing how much nutrition I can get out of 600-800 cals in a day. Is it strange that I enjoy it?
[Other] BPD+ED+drinking problem yay
/u/cattivity
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukvg6/bpdeddrinking_problem_yay/
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Well my boyfriend is at work and I'm home alone, I wasn't gonna drink but he hasn't answered my texts and its been about 4 hours. My mind is going crazy, "must be cheating on me"/"he's ignoring me because I'm annoying as fuck" There's a bottle of vodka right next to me.
Y'all know how it's about to go down. 🙃
Anyone else on here suffer from health anxiety?
/u/KrustyKup
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:29:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uktf3/anyone_else_on_here_suffer_from_health_anxiety/
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To be more specific, having a constant fear you are terminally ill/ sick with a life threatening illness? Looking for some support bc it really takes a lot out of me. I restrict, lose weight/am constantly tired, think I’m sick, dwell on it for a few days, eventually have meltdown, lose more weight bc of anxiety hunger suppression , feel ok for a day, and repeat. Over and over.
[Rant/Rave] Told my parents I was working late
/u/redcapris
Created: Mon Nov 5 20:05:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uklz7/told_my_parents_i_was_working_late/
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When really I was just binging and purging at Burger King god I hate my life
fellow artists???
/u/summerservice [5'2 | ??? | 19F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:57:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukjku/fellow_artists/
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hello again! I posted yesterday about wanting to get caught so let's really go for it!
I have to present the proposal for my final project in my video class tomorrow. I spent two days crafting a detailed proposal, with a full script, for a short film about a girl with an ED that has an internal conflict that pushes her toward recovery. it looks amazing in my head, and I think I could make it amazing.
of course, I'm positive someone will connect the dots - especially my friends, who will be acting in it. I told one of them about it and she said it sounds like it will be beautiful and is happy to help. I'm nervous to ask the girl I want to star in it, even though I'm sure she'll be excited to help (especially when I tell her I'll be paying her lol) but I will ask her tonight. I'm more nervous to propose the project in front of the class. I hope I can present it well... haha
so! fellow artists: do you ever make ED-related work? maybe share it here? :-)
[Discussion] Today someone I haven’t seen in a couple months told me it looked like I had lost weight
/u/satancookie22 [5’4”| CW118lbs | GW110lbs]
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:51:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukhsv/today_someone_i_havent_seen_in_a_couple_months/
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So I promptly went out and ate 6 crunch bars and 5 butterfingers. Add on a quarter of an apple pie and some whipped cream. 🙃
Someone please come sew my mouth shut?
DAE not eat actual meals?
/u/xStingx
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:46:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukgod/dae_not_eat_actual_meals/
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I'm laying in better after having eaten a cupcake and some potato chips that I'm about to purge when my timer dings off in 20 minutes. Anyway, earlier today I ate some oyster crackers (super low in cals btw) for breakfast, after school I had one of those small packs of brocolli with carrots and celery & ranch (120 cals). Later, a bagel (240 cals) and some m&ms (250 cals) both of which I normally never eat but since I was out all day helping my mom, I didn't have a choice and for dinner a homemade cupcake and some potato chips that I did not plan on eating but ya know...im fat af.
Now I'm going back to review all the food I ate the past few weeks and uh, no actual meals. I can't even remember the last meal I had other than yesterday when I went out with my mom. That was the first meal I've had in a long time. Most of my ''meals'' are snacks like potato chips, dry cereal, and brocolli + carrots. And if I go out to eat because I'm with friends or family I just get fries. So, just wondering anyone else not eat actual meals?
[Discussion] DAE hate when people tell you that you look too thin when you are still at a healthy weight?
/u/ballerina_inprogress [5'5"|CW:113.2|HW:165|GW:98|27F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:46:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukgn6/dae_hate_when_people_tell_you_that_you_look_too/
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I find this to be sooo triggering, most of the time it triggers me to binge- not because I believe what they say or think that I actually look "too thin", but just because its a mind fuck and annoying that they see me that way when I am clearly an average weight. Just makes me pissed off and want to say "fuck it" and binge. Also it makes me feel hella guilty, like I don't deserve their comments because I'm not even underweight.
[Other] Damn.
/u/spaghetti-tacos
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:43:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukfp4/damn/
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https://i.redd.it/fukmpa0timw11.jpg
How do you guys define a thigh gap?
/u/soup_slut [5'5"|138|-39|25F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:37:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukdx3/how_do_you_guys_define_a_thigh_gap/
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Standing straight up with feet together? Knees together?
With my weight distribution and bone structure I can get a thigh gap with just feet together (not knees) but I wonder how many consider that a "real" thigh gap. It's really hard to stand with my knees touching though so I don't know if that's the real way to tell?
Just wondered what y'all thought!
Is anyone else restricting/losing for thanksgiving?
/u/_awkward_drawkwa_
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:35:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukdbl/is_anyone_else_restrictinglosing_for_thanksgiving/
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I love my family but I hate family events. I hate that I’m going to be asked about my weight (Asian fam have no shame/filter) PLUS my grandparents will force us to take a billion pictures.
I’m freaking out. I restricted today and had a venti cold brew and two cuties. So like at this rate I’ll be down 10 pounds by then at least right?? I need to lose more like 100 😭 don’t mind me as I have a panic attack and word vomit.
[Help] how to get rid of sodium/water weight after too much sodium
/u/sorrowfulspookyghost
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:27:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukbaf/how_to_get_rid_of_sodiumwater_weight_after_too/
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i mixed a shit ton of spices with hot water forgetting the spices had sodium and .. help
im thinking of trying to put off weighing myself til the 10th and doing a mono tomorrow to get the bloat and water weight down (yes I know "monos aren't a good way to lose weight" but i think it'll help with water weight)
BUT I know I'll probably crack with weighing myself so yeah
[Discussion] DEA feel trapped in purgatory when you manage to at least binge on just healthy food?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:27:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ukb5d/dea_feel_trapped_in_purgatory_when_you_manage_to/
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I finished today at somewhere around 2000... stopped counting... but it was all eggs, avocado, salad with 2 thin strips of grilled chicken, celery, an apple, more veggies....
I feel like a failure... a successful failure... it’s very conflicting...
[Discussion] Any of yall on twitter
/u/orthoreXXX [23F | 5’4” | cw 110.6 | gw 99 | bmi 19.4]
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:17:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uk87g/any_of_yall_on_twitter/
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I just made an anonymous one @orthorexxx send me ur handles so I can follow !
[Help] What do you cook with shirataki noodles?
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:05:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uk50k/what_do_you_cook_with_shirataki_noodles/
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Just bought a pack at Whole Foods- what kind of recipes do you use them in, or what do you eat with them?
They seem to good to be true!
Spent a long-ass time on a slow cooker meal but after eating some I'm literally 2lbs heavier than I was this morning
/u/throoaweigh
Created: Mon Nov 5 19:04:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uk4qq/spent_a_longass_time_on_a_slow_cooker_meal_but/
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common sense: that extra weight isn't even fat you absolute dunce it hasn't even left your system yet
stupid hell brain that always wins: DUMP THE ENTIRE POT AND FAST UNTIL THE WEEKEND IT'S THE ONLY WAY
[Help] Other good subreddits?
/u/Thecrystal1428
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:59:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uk35t/other_good_subreddits/
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I’m already following r/
TrueThinspo
ProED
ProEDMemes
What else is there?
Plan B
/u/12345imadumbass56789
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:52:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uk1ba/plan_b/
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I had unprotected sex and took plan B afterward. I have never taken birth control because I heard it throws your hormones out of whack and causes weight gain, and I am concerned that the plan B is going to cause me to gain weight. Not “water retention” weight, but permanent weight. Is that possible? What have your experiences been with plan B? Thank you
Tonight was not a good night.
/u/NopeEwNotThat
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:51:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uk0wm/tonight_was_not_a_good_night/
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So I purged for the first time (does volume increase with time or?) and relapsed into sh. 😓
Also I work a super physical job and as of now I just wanna stop existing so tomorrow should be fun.
Sorryish, I had to tell someone Andy have no one so you fine souls get this bs.
Oh shit there’s definitely something wrong
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:41:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujxw3/oh_shit_theres_definitely_something_wrong/
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I thought I had just been doing this for fun for the last two years but then I noticed myself panicking when pictures of food come up on my food, like just the sight of a didgital hot dog scares me. Like real body shaking panic. I really thought I was doing this just for the heck of it but now I’m not so sure
[Rant/Rave] Just a fuckin rant
/u/obviouslynotjackie [5’2 | 110 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:28:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujucc/just_a_fuckin_rant/
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I’ve noticed something.
Most of the time, my mom will say “omg ur so skinny! I wish I had ur body” or she’ll nickname me Flaca, which is “skinny” in Spanish. She’s not obese, just a little bit overweight, and it’s more obvious bc she’s short.
But sometimes, when she’s mad at me or whatever, she’ll be like “ur so skinny, Jackie! U look so ugly” I usually reply with something along the lines of “at least clothes fit me” uwu
Like,,gorl,,didn’t u say u wanted my body? Lol, and my BMI is around 18.9 so I’m not even that skinny. It’s just annoying as FUCK. And something else that bothers me is that she points out when other ppl are fat/overweight like dude, stop fucking doing that.
Ugh, I just needed to let this out. Have a good day yo 😌
[Goal] Does anyone’s lowest weight become their goal weight even when they were happy with their previous lowest weight?
/u/shamefulanon
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:26:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujtqf/does_anyones_lowest_weight_become_their_goal/
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I’m 5’7 and was bouncing between 100 ish-102 for a couple months and on days I was 102 (or even 104 from water weight after rly bad weekends) I would be disappointed and happy on the 102 days
Well now I’ve gotten to where I eat less on regular days so I bounce more between 97.4-99 depending on water weight or waiting on late night binge food to digest or whatever.
We went out of town this weekend and I was 100 this morning and so disappointed bc I had been more around 97-98 the last 3 or so weeks
Ugh it’s just frustrating. I like to tell myself I don’t have any disordered eating habits or anything but I’m underweight and every time I hit a new low I am Unsatisfied with anything higher
Does anyone here go to SLAA? It has been suggested to me at overeaters anonymous meeting
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:21:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujsdd/does_anyone_here_go_to_slaa_it_has_been_suggested/
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The SLAA (Sex and Love Addiction Anonymous) sub is super small and I thought I might actually get a response here. My OA sponsor said right now I need to focus on my ED but I'm wondering about this program in the future when I have e better handle on the bulimia.
I've been going to OA for about a year and lots of people there are in multiple programs (AA, NA, SLAA, DA). Someone suggested I try SLAA but as an anorexic instead of someone with a sexual addiction.
I'm 30 and I've never been in a relationship. Everyone around me has someone. People are getting married and having babies. I want a family but I feel like there's something fundamentally unlovable about me. I've never had sex with someone who cares about me. My extended family talks shit about me being single and my parents are the only people they know who arent grandparents and are feeling really sad about it (so am I).
I had a one night stand over Halloween weekend, we made plans later in the week then he cancelled on me. I feel so hurt and disappointed. I wasn't expecting to have a relationship with him because honestly we barely know each other but I really wanted to sleep with him again.
I wonder whats wrong with me. Was I bad in bed? Am I too fat or unattractive? (The latter has been racing through my mind for days). I tired online dating before but I'm always unsuccessful. I dont know what I'm doing wrong other than being fat (and plenty of fat people date).
I just dont know how to meet men. I'm not a shut in. I go out, take art classes, have done meet ups . . . and nothing. Guys are always hitting on my friends and not me. I'm pretty extroverted and do not tell anyone things I say here (in case anyone stalks me, I use reddit as a diary for my worst thoughts).
After every time I have sex I legit fear it will be the last time I have sex ever.
Does it sound like I would find others in this program like me or would I be the odd person out?
[Discussion] My fitness pal is down
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujp1e/my_fitness_pal_is_down/
---
Is says it can’t connect me to the server is anyone else having this problem? I’m honestly like stressed right now. I wrote everything down in my notes app that I ate but I really just need to log it all. Does anyone else get this stressed about not being able to log??
[Discussion] Does anyone else get triggered by other people they know with EDs?
/u/KrustyKup
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujob2/does_anyone_else_get_triggered_by_other_people/
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Title is pretty self explanatory. Trying to navigate a situation where a person I know is suffering from an ED. Not sure how to deal with the anxiety and competitive thoughts that accompany being around a person who I know is very competitive about working out, eating, and weight loss in general.
[Help] This might be a stupid question, but will I lose weight faster fasting or eating only a small amount per day(500cal or less)?
/u/Dovahkiin14
Created: Mon Nov 5 18:03:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujn0k/this_might_be_a_stupid_question_but_will_i_lose/
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It would seem like I would lose weight faster fasting, but I know the human body can work strangely with these kinds of things. I fast as much as I can withough my family getting suspicious, I just want to make sure I'm doing this right. Thanks:)
Slowed Metabolism
/u/alienmickey
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujlws/slowed_metabolism/
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I saw a post abt calculating the bmr of ur goal weight and maintaining that to lose, but here's the thing. That wont work for me, and im sure a lot of us, bc my weight has yo-yo'd so much over the years that my metabolism has gone to shit. Im currently a normal weight after gaining abt 15 pounds oved the summer and if i eat anything over abt 1000 to 1200 cals ill either maintain or start gaining. And the bmr it gave me was around 1300. So no thank you. 😂😂 does anyone else have this problem? The only way i can lose weight anymore is through hard restriction or just straight up fasting and i have to do it every. Single. Day. For at least a few days at a time or i wont see any actual weight loss results. It fucking sucks. Exercise doesnt seem to be helping much.
i dont want to be this person anymore
/u/iffasting
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:54:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujkga/i_dont_want_to_be_this_person_anymore/
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now that i've learned how to purge (ive purged 3 times in my entire life, all within the last week), i binge and binge and binge until i cant breathe right, and go purge. then, the only thing i want to do (and do end up doing) is binge yet again. i havent purged twice in one day yet but i sure am starting to feel like i want to.
it would be easier if i had lived alone, but i live with my family who constantly have junk food in the house so 'just dont buy junk food :)))))' isnt an option. every night i think tomorrow will be different, and every day its not. i justify going over my calorie limit on days i dont purge (but still binge) because i do IF and i fast for two days out of the week. im just so sad. i dont recognize the person that ive become.
Petition: Make tomorrow Monday again because I've already fucked this week up.
/u/MailingMaize [5'1.5 | CW: 106 | BMI 20.5 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:44:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujhck/petition_make_tomorrow_monday_again_because_ive/
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I just want one perfect calorie week someday.
[Discussion] DAE have dry cracked hands
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujg34/dae_have_dry_cracked_hands/
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Especially on my purging hand. The fingers I use have dry cracked skin and a few cuts on the knuckle. My other hand is no where near as fucked up.
[Other] Some relief
/u/cattivity
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:32:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uje0f/some_relief/
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I reached my goal weight of 125 pounds and then started binging off and on (I'm talking 4-5k calorie binges in addition to my normal daily intake which was about 1200cal) for about two or three weeks. I ballooned up to 133 pounds but today the scale had me at 129.7. It's honestly so relieving to know I'm still in the 120's. Even if just barely 😭
I feel like I can breathe again.
[Rant/Rave] C/s for the first time last night
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:28:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujcyv/cs_for_the_first_time_last_night/
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And it took me totally off-guard. I've been avoiding c/s for years, mostly because I considered it too risky. If I buy food specifically to c/s, I could potentially binge. If I c/s safe foods, then I could snap and just never eat again.
So yesterday I was gifted a large pastry from a co-worker. We commute together so I had no choice but to take it home with me and I was freaking out about having it in the house. I randomly decided to c/s and guess what? I hated it. Literally 3 bites in I quit and threw it in the trash. Not only was c/s not very satisfying, but it made the thought of actually eating the pastry totally off-putting.
I think I may actually do this again if I end up with panic foods in my house. It's the most effective appetite suppressant I've ever tried.
[Rant/Rave] RANT
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujcs5/rant/
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It’s not even midday yet and I’ve already binged on 1000 calories of junk food.. idk what to do. Going to the gym later in the day and I’m so disappointed with myself
[Help] I can’t lose weight I want to kill myself
/u/cantburnme
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:25:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujc2b/i_cant_lose_weight_i_want_to_kill_myself/
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I been trying to lose weight for the whole month of September and October and I’ve been stuck at a certain weight range the whole time and I just weighed myself and it says I’m the highest weight I’ve been since July. Wtf crying so much right now idk what to do nothing is working I want to kill my self right now
[Rant/Rave] Childhood Emotional Neglect made me a bulimic,
/u/ziyal79 [155cms | 74kg | 31 | 0 | Female]
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ujboe/childhood_emotional_neglect_made_me_a_bulimic/
---
I didn’t feel really safe posting this anywhere else, so I hope that’s okay.
I never really thought that I was neglected, just that my family were a bit emotionally retarded. But I saw a new psychiatrist two weeks ago and he talked to me about childhood emotional neglect and set me up to be abused by my first “boyfriend”, and then caused my ED. And then after going over it some more with my counsellor, I realised that I exhibited problematic food behaviours in childhood from about 7 or 8 years old onward. Given the modelling I was given around food (my Mum got stomach stapling when I was 5, and then lived on soft foods for years, or just ate what she wanted and then vomited her food up, and there were issues with laxatives too. She got it reversed when I was 12, she’s gone back to being fat, but she’s happier), it’s no wonder that I developed bulimia. I always thought that it was the abusive relationship that caused the disorder, but in reality, the behaviours were already set from childhood, dieting was the trigger.
The psychiatrist really got me, I felt like he really understood me. The scary thing was that he believes I’m over medicated because I just don’t understand my emotions, demand perfection of myself all of the time regardless of what’s going on and I use medication to control my feelings in place of using food. When I was stabbed in March, my response to say “Yep, so? I just want to crack on, I’ve got things to do.”
Both of my parents raised me to be very much emotional self sufficient, in that there was no one to help if I had an emotional problem. My father didn’t have the capacity to deal with feelings well, and my mother was emotionally negligent, and at times, emotionally abusive. But it’s hard to say that I was neglected, my parents were physically there, I always had clothes, food, an education. But I’ve always felt like I can’t go to my family when I have a problem, so I don’t.
It’s really scary to think of what might happen when I reduce my Seroquel, and I feel my emotions more. Am I just going to binge like crazy? Can anyone else relate to what I’ve posted?
[Discussion] question
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:114lbs | GW: 112lbs | -25 lbs | F20]
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:17:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj9ik/question/
---
anyone else eat raw mushrooms dipped in mustard? asking because it's one of my go to safe snacks and when i was halfway through eating it I looked down and thought "this is so repulsive yet low cal, there must be someone else who eats it too"
life man
[Help] Losing weight but overall flabbier??
/u/doubledigitsplease
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:14:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj8tw/losing_weight_but_overall_flabbier/
---
I lost like 20 pounds in the last few months, and I used to lift weights so I had a decent amount of muscle at my HW. Now that I’m smaller, I’m sure a lot of muscle has come off too but the fat that remains feels super squish and oddly placed and soft? It’s like my cellulite is more prominent somehow, and my thighs are a (smaller) but different, less appealing shape..
Can anyone else relate? I’m not sure if resistance training would help since I’m purposefully trying to lose all mass possible and I don’t think I’d build muscle anyway since I’m in a deficit!
Anyway, should I continue with basic restricting and light cardio, or should I adjust my habits?
[Rant/Rave] Weigh in
/u/msnormanmaine
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:09:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj7ae/weigh_in/
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I have been with my family for a week and a half and my entire health plan went to shit. Very anxious about weighing in tmw. I expect I gained 1-2 pounds but hopefully a few days of restricting will have me back on track. Pray for me.
Thanks for being my thinspo
/u/Careabella
Created: Mon Nov 5 17:07:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj6j0/thanks_for_being_my_thinspo/
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This is a big fat thanks to my loving boyfriend for being the best thinspiration. Not because of his body but because he is so good at making me feel like I should never eat again ❤️ I’ve been fasting during the days because it’s the only way I feel like I’m allowed to eat a somewhat real dinner and not feel guilty. Today we got into an argument because he suggested rice for dinner. When I told him I only fast so I can eat REAL food for dinner he said “shouldn’t we double down” I asked if he really thought it was a good idea to only eat 400 calories a day (only rice calories) and he said yeah. Well now I’m going to triple down and not eat dinner at all. That’ll show him.
Too old for this shit. Help :(
/u/bianca52891
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:57:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj3qe/too_old_for_this_shit_help/
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I don’t really have anyone to talk to about any of this. I’m 27. Never had ED behaviors/thoughts while I was a teen or lower 20’s. About 2 years ago i started being weird around food. I had been vegan for a long time & found myself overeating junky snacks (chips, popcorn) & overeating turned into binging. I have no idea why. Emptiness maybe,being lonely if my boyfriend isnt home, boredom. Ive called off work many times because after eating so much the night before i had way too much anxiety to go in. I started eating some fish/chicken occasionally thinking that might help me feel less restricted & stop binge eating. No. Now i just feel incredible guilt on top of disgusting. Its crazy, bc i plan out my whole day of calories on mynetdiary every day to be like 400-600 cals while at work. I stick to it, just fine. Then night comes & i feel like there is this hole inside of me & my brain is just saying EAT. & while i eat i feel nothing. I taste nothing. & its kind of “peaceful”? Then after i hate myself. I feel weak. Ive gained 30 pounds the past 2 years & im very short so it shows. I would get blackout drunk & eat entire pizzas and wake up so sick. I started purging occasionally last year, which makes me look puffy & feel like hell. I feel old & completly alone in this personal calorie obsession/binge/(occasional purge) hell. It consumes so much of my thoughts, time and energy. I just want to feel free. I dont really know what i’m asking. Just for any comfort I guess.
[Rant/Rave] Was accused was of taking chocolate (I didn't) but I'm not even mad about it.
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:52:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj2dc/was_accused_was_of_taking_chocolate_i_didnt_but/
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(I still live with my parents) Anyhow my mother left a bag of fancy pants chocolate bars in the car but didn't realize this. We had a "conversation" about it before she believed me and check. Like it's a running gag at this point so I'm not mad at her. I've peeved there's a shit ton of chocolate in our fridge and that nobody believes me when I admit I have no fucking self control. I will wake up at 2am (on nights that I do sleep) and gobble those fuckers down. A week's worth of calories in five minutes.... fuck .....
[Rant/Rave] mfp down? immediately checks here
/u/arthroego [20F 🍄 -44 🍄 36 left]
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:49:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj1hh/mfp_down_immediately_checks_here/
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i love y'all, okay. ive been freaking out trying to log in before i got the server message, open reddit app, refresh, and everyone's already talking about it. glad im not the only one freaking out, makes me feel less crazy LMAO
i had 2 vitamin c drops (20) and a cup of soup (150). im still under 800. ill be ok. but why is it being down making me want to starve but also binge but also makes me feel like im rapidly putting on weight and absorbing calories from the air??? my brain can honestly choke
[Rant/Rave] I've lost 43lbs in just under two months.
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:46:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uj0n0/ive_lost_43lbs_in_just_under_two_months/
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A week or so after giving birth, I found out that my boyfriend, my sons father, slept with his ex the night before Nolan was born. It triggered a hardcore relapse and I've been miserable since. I constantly feel out of control no matter how much I restrict and lose weight. Idk. I guess I just needed to tell someone that I have no fucking idea what I'm doing anymore.
[Rant/Rave] thanksgiving is hands down the worst holiday
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw130 (18.5) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:33:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uiwto/thanksgiving_is_hands_down_the_worst_holiday/
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first of all, it’s built around that bullshit idea of the natives and pilgrims sitting around a big ole table and grubbin out which irks me as that image is both historically inaccurate and goofy as fuck
secondly, the thanksgiving anxiety starts november 1st for me and i’ve not stopped thinking about it since this ugly ass month began. i’ve been trying to memorize the calorie counts for every food i know will be at my family’s thanksgiving and trying to plan ahead what i will have a little bit of so no one says anything about me not eating. feeling overwhelmed and anxious makes me have less control over what i eat so i’m picking up calories left and right on the daily and now i’ve probably gained but i’m too afraid to weigh myself.
and besides all that my family is broken as hell and i can never see everyone in one place because they all hate each other. the dinner discussions always center around bitching about politics and asking about college and giving unsolicited advice. sigh
all in all a holiday centered around food and family just seems like a nightmare
how do you all deal lmao
Damn shit gets confusing when the only subs you’re subbed to are this one and ApplyingtoCollege
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:32:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uiwih/damn_shit_gets_confusing_when_the_only_subs_youre/
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Is ED eating disorder or early decision? Who knows anymore? I just saw a post titled “Trying to hate my ED” and I opened it and it went a way different direction than I thought lmao
[Other] MFP is down...
/u/h1217579
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:27:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uiust/mfp_is_down/
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DAE having problem w MFP? I can’t log in to my account on the app or on their website. Changing my password didn’t help. fml :(
PSA: myfitnesspal is down right now and not letting a lot of people log in
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 61.5kg (135lbs) | BMI: 20.6 | -12.5kg | F | 23yo]
Created: Mon Nov 5 16:18:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uis6o/psa_myfitnesspal_is_down_right_now_and_not/
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Just so y'all don't have to have the same panic attack I just did thinking they'd deleted my 6 year old account.
[Help] MFP is going to give me a panic attack
/u/bexsun2 [5’3 | 109 | BMI 19.3 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:55:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uikzc/mfp_is_going_to_give_me_a_panic_attack/
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https://i.redd.it/9df240p1elw11.jpg
Eating too much, life is shit, hate myself
/u/Hlare
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:53:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uikgc/eating_too_much_life_is_shit_hate_myself/
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Hey, I gained weight. I keep eating too much. I don't want to go out of the house honestly, I'm so FAT and ugly. I hate myself. I don't know what SO do, I wake up wanting to fast but then my dad cooks and I eat. Honestly my life would be pretty okay if stopped sabotaging myself like a moron. I menaged to fix my life a bit from when I was severely depressed and I'm fucking everything up by just eating too much. Please please please I need help guys, talk to me.
I went into recovery but now I’m heavy again.. I’m at my highest weight I’ve ever been at.
/u/qxmemie
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:52:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uik85/i_went_into_recovery_but_now_im_heavy_again_im_at/
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I feel ashamed. I feel like I’ve wasted everything I’ve worked so hard for. I feel like a failure in every way.
My Fitness Pal is down so calories don't exist now
/u/i_love_junk_food [5'1" | HW 72kg | CW 59.9kg | LW 51kg | GW1 55kg | GW2 48kg | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:49:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uij6n/my_fitness_pal_is_down_so_calories_dont_exist_now/
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It's like The Purge but for eating food and hopefully not actually purging.
You deserve food
/u/mmmgood5
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:46:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uiibc/you_deserve_food/
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Just asked a friend of mine who doesn’t really know about my ED if I should go get food (I’ve been hardcore restricting lately) and she literally just said “Do it. You deserve it.” And I almost started crying I was so grateful. So everyone! You deserve to eat today! Sending love to each and every one of you <3
Heartbreaking conversations when your SO knows about your ED
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:37:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uifl8/heartbreaking_conversations_when_your_so_knows/
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My bf knows about my ED. He checks in every day asking me, "Have you eaten yet today?" The answer is almost always no bc I'm waiting for my OMAD time, but he asks "You have a plan, right?"
​
I hate making him worry about it, and he's expressed that worry before. I always say "Don't worry about me, I'm okay." but it's hard to see the pain in his face.
​
The most heartbreaking thing happened this weekend. On Saturday, we were together at his frat house watching the Texas game and I'd had way too much to eat that morning following the previous night at my mom's birthday party. I'd binged that morning on protein/granola bars, had two hamburgers at the frat house tailgate, a bag of pretzels after the alcohol made me hungry, and later at dinner, I broke my no fast food rule and got a hamburger with fries (which we split). Needless to say, I overdid it. When we got back to his house I made jokes like "Ughh I ate way too much today" or "I have a food child". WHICH I DID I WAS SO BLOATED.
​
We sat on the couch to watch some "Breaking Bad" when I ended up lying down with my head in his lap, feeling that food coma starting to hit. He started to run his fingers through my hair which almost instantly put me to sleep; ASMR vibes, ya'll. He kept doing it when he said:
​
"I love you, Erin. Very much." Now, he normally doesn't say that out of the blue. And plus he sounded sad. I shifted my weight around to look him in the eyes and said: "I love you, too!" He had his sad face on.
​
"What's wrong?" (He gets sad when he's drunk sometimes, so I thought he was thinking about something.)
​
"I'm worried about you, Erin."
​
\*Record scratch\* (Confusion) "Why?"
​
"Just how you act around food."
​
(I'm taken aback here.) "I'm fine. You have no need to worry about me."
​
"I know, but I do worry."
​
Love that boi so much, I just hate letting him down and making him worry about me. I always regret telling him about my ED, but he insists that he's glad he knows. I'm never so sure.
Ypu have to remember this, please help
/u/seahorseknowssmth
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ui6hc/ypu_have_to_remember_this_please_help/
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I remember listening to a song which I can't find anymore with "and I promise you, I'll make myself beautiful" lyrics. The videoclip has beed shooted in some green lighted room, dark haired girl trying to get into the modeling industry type of vibe. I slightly remember word "zoo" as a part of the band or song name but I could be wrong. If any of you knows the name of this song please let me know.
[Rant/Rave] Went to break my fast but not today my frens.
/u/emotional_low
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:01:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ui3vb/went_to_break_my_fast_but_not_today_my_frens/
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So I was in the kitchen cutting up a piece of toast which I had put some vegan cream cheese onto. (This made no mess as it was on a plate). This was a few minutes after I had taken the fruit which I had cut upstairs to my bedroom (which I had cleaned up once I had cut it).
​
My dad then went into the living room muttering something along the lines of 'why is she making more food / making a mess \[blah blah blah/ didn't hear this bit\] unbelievable'. But loud enough so I could hear it (like when people whisper purposefully loud so you can hear that they're talking about you.)
​
My appetite noped off instantly and I now can't face any of the food I just prepared. HOW FUCKING CONVENIENT.
Nevermind the fact that I haven't eaten in a day and a half (lol Ik it's not that long, but I have a test tomorrow so I was going to try and get some food so my brain could cope with the late night cramming sesh that imma be doing later) and was going to break my fast NOPE.
Guess I'll just keep on a starving because all that matters is how clean your kitchen is. Nevermind my FUCKING WELLBEING.
​
oH and it's not like you leave dirty/gross tissues everywhere or that you too also do not clean up your mess immediately after you made it IS IT?
​
So yeah FUCK ME AMARITE. Not like the guilt of breaking my fast was already enough, but I gotta get some bullshit guilt trip from you too.
​
No wonder I always ask for fucking permission to eat (it's an automatic thing, and it drives my mum batshit crazy, I don't mean to do it, it just happens, probably because of bs like this).
​
It's stuff like this that makes me just want to wither away to nothing. At least then maybe he wouldn't be such a douchebag about my eating.
[Rant/Rave] trans guy eating disorder vibes!
/u/swagcat9000 [5'5" | 131 lbs | 21.8 | -37 | M |]
Created: Mon Nov 5 15:00:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ui3h7/trans_guy_eating_disorder_vibes/
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when you stand up, take a deep breath, and have to wonder if that stabbing chest pain is from your binder or from the fasting
You have to remember this song, please help
/u/seahorseknowssmth
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:59:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ui365/you_have_to_remember_this_song_please_help/
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I remember listening to a song which I can't find anymore with "and I promise you, I'll make myself beautiful" lyrics. The videoclip has beed shooted in some green lighted room, dark haired girl trying to get into the modeling industry type of vibe. I slightly remember word "zoo" as a part of the band or song name but I could be wrong. If any of you knows the name of this song please let me know.
Is MyFitnessPal working for you?
/u/cold_melon [5'7'' | cw 113 | bmi 17.7 | -20 | gw 105]
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:49:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhzqw/is_myfitnesspal_working_for_you/
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I can't log in on my phone, says it can't connect to the "servers" so i tried to log in on my computer on the desktop version and its saying the same thing. Anyone else having this problem?
[Other] Is MFP down for anybody else??
/u/crashbandiclit
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:48:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhzjb/is_mfp_down_for_anybody_else/
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It logged me out on its own, which is the first issue...I never log out. But anyway, I tried logging in on my WiFi, turning it off and logging in on my data, deleting the app and reinstalling and then logging in both ways again, and it says it can’t connect to the server to log me in. Is this an app issue for anyone else right now or ??
I’m losing my mind momentarily, help! 😭😂
[Rant/Rave] !!!!! my fat ass is stuck in a b/p cycle :(((((((((((((((
/u/7st1lb [165cm | CW:fat | GW:not fat| 24F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:46:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhz0f/my_fat_ass_is_stuck_in_a_bp_cycle/
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Feel free to ignore this I just need to get this out of my head...
Fasted all day in a breeze! wasn't even hungry, craving, tired... Then came 5 pm, ate an apple and that triggered a binge. How TF does **an apple** trigger a binge!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing's safe anymore :( I'm so done with this body- I won't touch food, nor will I weigh myself till Sunday.
[Help] anyone have any at-home workout routines that i can do without waking anyone up
/u/tired_platypus [5' 3'' | CW: 119 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | HW: 131 lbs | F17]
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:46:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhyzn/anyone_have_any_athome_workout_routines_that_i/
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my parents aren’t letting me exercise at home anymore and i’m not allowed to go to the gym anymore either, so does anyone have actual routines that you do at home without any equipment (i do have like small weights i can use) that burn like 100+ calories
small win
/u/fatgirlthin98
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:36:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhvkl/small_win/
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bought a microwave curry for myself (probably the start of a binge on everything I bought) then I made it for my boyfriend instead, had a tiny bowl and it wasn't even nice! I'm so glad I didn't waste my calories!
[Rant/Rave] I binged in public and now I’m on the bus and won’t be home for half an hour and I feel like I’m going to vomit
/u/alonlioak
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:32:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhugu/i_binged_in_public_and_now_im_on_the_bus_and_wont/
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I need help
I can feel all that salty fucking chocolate coating my throat and all the way to my stomach and I don’t even have any water
I literally ate 3000 calories at the bus stop Jesus Christ
I don’t know what to do
I think I should call my counselor tomorrow
I feel so sick
[Rant/Rave] Really good subreddit
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 14:05:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhlvb/really_good_subreddit/
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I have found that the subreddit r/instagramreality (I’m on mobile) is really good for seeing how a lot of the Instagram models and everything are using some kind of photoshop on their body. It really helps me see how my body type is the same as a lot of celebrities (even if they are making their selves look smaller. You guys should all check it out for some peace of mind.
every day I fall for my brains same trick and I hate myself for it
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Mon Nov 5 13:55:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhinb/every_day_i_fall_for_my_brains_same_trick_and_i/
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Every. fucking. day. I start off fine, then in the evening, my brain tells me to just go and get food, binge, give into whaever I'm craving, and tomorrow, I'll go start a luper low cal diet or fast for a week so I should indulge one last time. I always give in. And comes the next day, I figure that I don't want to restrict too much and engage so much in ED behaviour to not trigger any further binges yada yada. Then evening comes and it's the same again. I EVEN REALIZE IT IN THE MOMENT. I know perfectly that tomorrow, I will certainly not fast and I'm in no mental place where I can restrict so low for more than a few days. But it's been like that for the last couple weeks and I gained so much even thought I often purge afterwards. Today again. I binged infront of my friend which is so embarassing to begin with, like we shared a small cake and she was done after one piece and I had the remaining fucking whole cake and all the candy, then when I left I went straight to the store to get more binge food. Ate it all, purged, now wish I had more at home.
I saw a youtube video where a ed counsellor (?) even talked about how people justify binging with planning out diets for the next day and I felt so called out, it's exactly what I do. Ugh. I wish I could just fast for 5 days again like I used to do ALL the time, but now I'm so paranoid about hair loss (lost like 30% of hair after a 16-day fast, but fasting really resets me :( ). I hate me so so so much now :(
Is this a plateau?
/u/sadbean17 [158cm | 54.3 | 21.8 | -5.7kg| 18f]
Created: Mon Nov 5 13:54:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhidd/is_this_a_plateau/
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As always, on mobile, can't flair. Sorry:)
I'm also starting to feel like I post too much so let me know if I'm annoying y'all.
I religiously weigh myself daily, like 4 times a day. I always count the one in the morning as my official weight tho, and for the last 4 days I have been stuck at 54.3kgs. Despite restriction, and despite trying to eat maintenance and excercise to get it down. Next I'm going to try fasting because I can't deal lmao. My scale isn't broken either, I tested it.
So is this a plateau? And if so help
[Rant/Rave] What am I working for?
/u/countdowntocontrol
Created: Mon Nov 5 13:41:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uhdx5/what_am_i_working_for/
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I don't have a goal weight. I don't have a safe weight. I don't need to lose more weight but I don't seem to know how to stop. I can't eat at maintenance. If I go over 400 I lose my shit and binge like a madman. I do 10 days or so of hardcore restriction then binge till I can't move. Till I can't breathe. My clothes are falling off me. My skin is blue. I want to be thin, to stay thin, but this game is killing me. The goalposts are shifting all the time. Who's making these rules and decisions? I'm not. I'm not sure that I'm even in here anymore.
​
Sorry y'all. Sometimes you just gotta vent.
How many people here restrict AND workout regularly?
/u/StrikingEdge
Created: Mon Nov 5 13:07:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uh2da/how_many_people_here_restrict_and_workout/
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I find that I don’t have the energy to workout (ie 45 mins of cardio) if I’m restricting, but I’m wondering how much quicker I’d reach my goal if I did...
The other thing though is that I’m not sure whether I like the look of my body when I exercise??
For some reason I feel like I look different when I solely focus on restricting vs restricting & exercising. Maybe it just feels like my legs are less bulky idk. How do you guys feel about it??
S/O to all my ADHD bulimics out who find life utterly miserable without the enjoyment of food until the meds wear off - this post is for u
/u/bellxxaaa [5'3 | 90lbs]
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:57:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugz1l/so_to_all_my_adhd_bulimics_out_who_find_life/
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https://i.redd.it/itexjjgcikw11.jpg
Vegan but still ED
/u/Lirschen
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:57:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugyx3/vegan_but_still_ed/
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So I went vegan recently and got really healthy and lost a lot of weight. I went from 215lbs to 198lbs which is a lot for me but I kinda got stuck on that. It also kinda rekindled that weight loss joy that I had before when I starved myself to 147lbs. So does anyone else have any experience with this? Changing their diet and now suddenly addicted to the weight loss?
Like, i eat lots of heavy fibre veggies so that I'm too full for the denser stuff and because I never eat the same as the rest of my family, or even at the same time due to work hours, noone has yet to challenge me. I'm now down to 182lbs.
What parts of yourself do you need to/enjoy checking?
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:52:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugxja/what_parts_of_yourself_do_you_need_toenjoy/
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My tummy is disappearing and I'm remembering I used to love grabbing my ribcage while laying in bed. Feeling my ribs through the skin, seeing how far in I could dig my fingers under the curve of my rib cage in the center.
[Rant/Rave] Just had a raging outburst because my cat tore up my pants
/u/sigvi [160cm | LW: 40 | CW: 55 | GW: 47 | F18]
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:38:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugssy/just_had_a_raging_outburst_because_my_cat_tore_up/
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One of literally two pairs of pants that I feel comfortable wearing. I screamed at my cat, screamed at my mom, angrily brushed my teeth, angrily cleaned my room and then screamed at my mom some more. It was like all my anger, stress and sadness were just beneath the surface and this one thing made it all boil over. And I felt like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum.
Now I’m in bed watching Netflix and chugging an energy drink. Don’t plan on going to school tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] Made the first step to re-enroll in college! (Off-topic)
/u/lotsofsqs
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:35:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugrpc/made_the_first_step_to_reenroll_in_college/
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Okay, this is pretty lame, but I'm proud of myself and I don't have anyone to share it with.
I dropped out of college almost two years ago. I've been in therapy for a year now and I finally feel ready to attempt college (slowly).
I *finally* called my school's disability resources office and made an appointment for Thursday. Just that phone call made my heart rate double (thanks, social anxiety). I may not be able to return right away, but they'll be able to guide me and help me create a plan. I may have to take classes at the community college, but that's okay, because I'm genuinely excited about school for the first time in a long time.
My perfectionism and depression and bulimia fucked up college for me. I was getting either A's or F's and the stress drove me to the psych ward. Dropping out has massively fucked my self worth.
I've been avoiding dealing with this since. It's been so shameful. But fuck you, mental illness, I'm going to strive for B's (because who need to be perfect?) and succeed despite this little detour I've been on.
[Help] '5 a day'?
/u/raininginkyoto_
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:28:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugp7v/5_a_day/
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So while I'm back in the throes of a relapse, I'm looking for ways to stay at least a little health conscious (ironic I know), and I thought the whole 5 a day thing might be one way to go with it. Obvs I'm looking for the lowest possible ways to do it, but that goes without saying lol.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get irrationally annoyed by inaccurate calorie counts in Lose It!, MFP, etc
/u/piizza [5’4” | C126 | G110 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:27:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugoma/dae_get_irrationally_annoyed_by_inaccurate/
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I hope this isn’t just my pet peeve.
I see so many foods in Lose It that are logged completely incorrectly: listing the whole package as 1 serving’s worth of calories, grossly underestimated restaurant food calories, etc. etc.
It makes me want to yell at whomever logged that YOU ARE DELUDING YOURSELF! This is why you don’t lose weight!
And it does such a disservice to everyone else who IS trying to hold themselves accountable. They might not be able to check the actual label and have to trust the database in the app.
I don’t like creating a new food every time I log just because there isn’t an accurate one among the dozens of over-optimistic existing entries. Ugh.
This has been the rant of a hangry person. Haha.
[Rant/Rave] I have RSV, I’m on my period, and I’m still punishing myself for binging on Halloween.
/u/modest_butt [5’4” | CW 🐳 | BMI 😭| -35lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 12:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugnmp/i_have_rsv_im_on_my_period_and_im_still_punishing/
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Even though I’ve already lost the weight I gained from binging 4 days ago, I feel like I still need to heavily restrict to make up for what I *could* have lost if I didn’t binge. Which, i know is dumb???? But ED??
Normally, this wouldn’t really be a big deal for me, but because I’m sick and also on my period, I feel like if garbage took a shit and then that shit gave birth to me. I know I should eat because it’ll help me feel better, but I also know that if I do eat, that my mental health will plummet even more.
And I’m a mom, and my kids are sick too, so I can’t even wallow in bed and feel miserable like I want to. I have to get up and put on my best happy face and try to make my babies feel better.
Just, this sucks ass.
I’m struggling
/u/sarahpurity777
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:59:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugf4q/im_struggling/
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I used to be 120-130 pounds. Since I got clean from drugs, I stopped purging and fasting and now I am just binging and I don’t know how to stop. In the past month I’ve gained ten pounds, and overall I am now 5’3 and 190 pounds. The weight gain is killing me inside. I keep having people in my life commenting on it and it’s not helping. My mom told me my boyfriend broke up with me because of my weight, my godfather stated that if I ever want to get back together with my boyfriend I better hit the gym and lose some weight or else he won’t want to be with me. A guy that used to work with me saw me recently and texted me saying “damn girl, you got big since I last saw you” and another one of my coworkers said I used to be really skinny in high school. I know this weight is not who I am and not the weight I should be. I feel trapped in this body and I don’t know what to do. The comments from the people around me are killing me inside and all I want to do is just sleep and curl up in a ball and not have to think about my appearance or my weight or how other people perceive me.
Adderall polls making it so I really eat way less than safe, how do I make sure I get enough calories
/u/Silvershadedragon
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:57:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uge91/adderall_polls_making_it_so_i_really_eat_way_less/
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I started takin adderall about 2 weeks ago and almost instantly my appetite vanished...
some days I’ve noticed I’ve actually forgotten to eat and late at night when my pills wear off I start feeling so hungry..
I know that only eating a slice of toast with ham is not enough for the day, how can I make sure I eat enough (when I suck at keeping track of things... hence the adderalll)
[Discussion] DAE have a stash of food they refused to eat?
/u/sydenyp
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:55:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugdi0/dae_have_a_stash_of_food_they_refused_to_eat/
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This is an issue for me at work. I’m a low restriction control freak tbh, so eating 1/4 of a Quest bar and putting it in my desk drawer for the next 3 morning’s servings is normal for me. What this means is that when my coworkers want Panera I get kettle chips as my side, and I just “save them for later”. I do this with **any** packaged item I can’t get away with denying. Someone is going around passing out candies? Saving mine. Coworker decided to get me a cookie straw with our iced coffees? Saving that for later. The issue is this: Later is never coming!!! I feel pretty wasteful, and I’m not sure what to do- I can’t bring this home w/o my husband thinking it’s odd, and I can’t just offer my coworkers all the food they’ve assumed I’ve eaten for the past 2 weeks.
Should I just pitch it and hope the cleaning staff doesn’t think I’m crazy and wasteful?
At what height do you no longer consider someone to be “short”?
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:46:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ugag0/at_what_height_do_you_no_longer_consider_someone/
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I see a lot of people on here complaining about being short and I’m wondering why?
I see plenty of shorter, skinny girls that I’m envious of. Not that I’m very tall myself.
But at what height do you consider someone to be average/tall?
I started drinking again
/u/Mt-Moon [♀ · 5'0 · current 99 · goal 90 ]
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:44:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug9qa/i_started_drinking_again/
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Hi, I'm Mt-Moon and I'm an alcoholic.
Fell off the wagon again this weekend. This is always a slippery slope because I try to stick to my calorie limit anyway and end up just never eating anything. My stomach is fucked already lol
Anyone else here have a serious drinking problem?
[Help] My hair is falling out??? Help?
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug7s7/my_hair_is_falling_out_help/
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How do you stop your hair from falling out? Its really embarrassing... I'm not even skinny yet ):
[Rant/Rave] 1st GW reached, and I’ve never looked fatter
/u/livi_loser
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:37:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug7h5/1st_gw_reached_and_ive_never_looked_fatter/
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I am so angry, I’ve never weighed as little as I do right now, but somehow I look the fattest I ever have. None of my clothes fit, my thighs are smaller, but every time I look at myself I just see F A T. I’m so confused. I’ve only got 11lbs until my UGW and I’m hoping everything will balance out and be fine but now I have no idea what I look like. My bf heard me say how I’ve never looked fatter and I think he might be catching on just a little bit, but he works out of town during the week so I’m free to do as I please.
I remember weighed 20lbs more than I do currently and not looking nearly as bad, I just don’t understand :(
Triggered myself: Went to Aldi for the first time...
/u/shittypebbles
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:35:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug6ml/triggered_myself_went_to_aldi_for_the_first_time/
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I went to Aldi for the first time this weekend because everyone says how great and cheap it is and my fiance's work needed cookies. I walk in and its **frantic as fuck**. It's a fairly small store and there were way to many people in the building. It was really loud and crowded. Things were thrown on the shelves and people were carrying around empty cardboard food container boxes instead of pushing carts.
It reminded me of those disaster movies where there's a food shortage and and everyone is pushing and shoving to get what's left on the shelves. And since I'm in the midwest the majority of people were obese, which didn't help. I mean I'm sure its mostly in my head but these people seemed ravenous and oh so desperate for food, and I never want to be like that. I'd much rather pay the extra money and wander through our Whole Foods equivalent for an hour. The whole experience has just really put me off eating today....
Has anyone else experienced this or something similar?
So my friend and I got our heights measured today
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | SW: 163lbs | CW: 142lbs | GW: 130lbs (for now) | 19/F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:34:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug69n/so_my_friend_and_i_got_our_heights_measured_today/
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So as shitty as it sounds, I’ve been comparing myself to my best friend since before I even began losing weight. I was never seriously overweight but I’ve lost around 20lbs total and am now around 145lbs. Meanwhile, she’s around 125lbs and I’ve always used her as my sort of visual ‘first goal weight’ - the point at which I know I’m officially not fat anymore . I knew I was a little taller than her, but I figured it was by maybe 1.5 inches max and that I was still way bigger than her, BMI and appearance-wise.
Well, we both went to the doctor today and decided to ask to get our heights measured. Before this, she thought she was around 5’4.5-5’5 and I thought I was around 5’6.
Turns out? She’s only 5’3.5 and I’m 5’7????? We have the same BMI????? What the FUCK???
[Rant/Rave] Everything sucks today.
/u/glitterfitte
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:24:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug2wk/everything_sucks_today/
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I had an amazing weekend seeing a lot of my friends and family, celebrating my moms birthday and some other good stuff. I'm now back at home in my apartment and it just feels like everything just crashed. I ate like a normal person this weekend and it feels fucking sad to sit here alone and starving after a weekend like that.
I'm just sitting here thinking about all of the bad things in my life atm while feeling like an ungrateful piece of shit because they're not even that bad. School is pretty much over, so I don't have any lectures to go to. All of my friends (the ones who live even remotely close to me anymore) are busy with exams, and they don't have time for me. I have fallen back into this thing with an old crush of mine recently and I saw him this weekend. We didn't talk. He probably doesn't want me, just like last time. The only things I can do here are studying, eating and sleeping. I feel so alone. I have no energy to exercise, and no reason to even go outside anymore. Right now I'm sitting alone, on my couch, debating whether or not to eat a stupid 400 calorie dinner or just stop at 200 for the day. The silence here is making me crazy. My apartment just feels empty and toxic and stressful. I looked at my weight stats and the last two months have been pathetic. Nothing I've done and none of this pain is even working.
24 lbs in 2 months, I love data collection
/u/icthaine [🎍| 5'8" | 21.7 | -24 | 23M]
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:23:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug2kj/24_lbs_in_2_months_i_love_data_collection/
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https://i.redd.it/sb6il37m1kw11.png
[Rant/Rave] self-sabotaging by eating
/u/kitt_3n [5'2 | CW: 104 | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:17:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ug0a2/selfsabotaging_by_eating/
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Does anyone else ever find themselves studying/doing some other intensive task, experiencing difficulty with motivation to continue/focusing, and then allowing themselves to eat (or even binge)? When I do eat in these circumstances, not only do I not end up doing what I originally intended to finish, but I feel so disgusted with myself that I'm even LESS productive? It's like I sometimes think food will help with work but I am too distracted by the guilt. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I'm just glad I recognized this pattern because it ends up being this useless cycle of self sabotage where I get nothing done - no progress in academic goals and no progress in ED goals.
I relapsed but I’m actually really happy about it
/u/ArcticLurker [165 | CW: 140 | GW: 110]
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:13:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufz2t/i_relapsed_but_im_actually_really_happy_about_it/
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There is so much stuff happening in my life right now and I hate everything about it. Literally nothing good is ever happening to me.
Before everything went to shit, I was getting better by the day and even started kinda liking my body which was so much fun.
But eventually all the stress started piling up and with that my ED started creeping. I tried to suppress it at first but I’ve recently reached a point where I just can’t stand to think about all the happenings of the last year but I can’t stop. I’m so burned out.
This is why I’m thankful for the relapse. My ED is something I feel comfortable with, something that can take up the entirety of my thoughts if necessary and I freaking NEED that so bad right now. I’m willing to do it by obsessing over food...I know its an illusion but at least it feels like Home.
[Discussion] Attempting to get better...
/u/kodicocoabean
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:12:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufypb/attempting_to_get_better/
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Well sorta. I thought it would be easy. I thought I'd just eat like a normal person and that's it.
I restrict. A lot. And I'm good at it. I can fast for days, no problem. The entire time I was restricting, I never binged... I never wanted to. Now that I'm following my meal plan and eating again, all I think about is sugar. I c/s even though I never did that before and I am purging 3-4 times a week, even though in the months of restriction I only purged once.
I am getting worse in recovery rather than better. What the hell. Does this happen to other people, or is it just me?
[Help] I think my husband might have an eating disorder..
/u/alh-i
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:10:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufxzu/i_think_my_husband_might_have_an_eating_disorder/
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Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t the place for this, but I’m looking for help, pretty desperately.
My husband is 11-12% body fat, very athletic, very clean diet and exercises regularly. He calls himself fat often and not just jokingly, but he gets really upset almost daily about it. Particularly when getting ready in the morning.
I’ve told him I love him, I love his body, that he isn’t fat at all but even if he were that it wouldn’t affect my love for him nor my attraction- all he heard was “I love you so I don’t see you objectively” and now all of my opinions on the matter are tossed out the window.
He frequently compares our bodies. I’m a 98lb female near a decade younger than him.. it’s ridiculous.
He’s doing this “master cleanse” again where he doesn’t eat anything, only drinks basically lemonade for as many days as he can handle. I hate it. I tried it once and it made me feel so sick and awful. It seems like a load of bullshit fad diet to me, but, I digress.
I even tried using his daughter as an example.. I said if your little girl felt that she was fat, and you see her and you see how beautiful she is, what would you do? He just said I’d help her achieve her goals.
He’s very shut down and short with me. I tell him “you’ll never be happy this way, you need to fix the inside before the outside” and he always replies “my insides will be fixed when my outsides are.”
He doesn’t let me touch his sides or stomach, or see them at all. It’s really affecting me. He’s so beautiful and perfect and I’m so scared for him.
[Tip] Calculating your gw's BMR so you know how much to eat daily
/u/mrsblackattacks
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:08:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufx77/calculating_your_gws_bmr_so_you_know_how_much_to/
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I've found that looking up the daily calories I'd need to maintain my gw (115) gives me "permission" to actually eat and not fast.
If you want to try it out, Google a BMR (basal metabolic rate) calculator and fill it out with your goal weight instead of your cw to get an idea of how much you can be eating to get there and stay there. If nothing else, you'll have practice at meal prepping and intake planning for your gw, and you'd probably be surprised how much you can eat while getting there if you've found yourself painfully restricting or in a bad binge cycle.
This may be common knowledge for everyone, but I just figured it out myself and wanted to share.
[Help] Going off SSRI:s?
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Mon Nov 5 11:00:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufu39/going_off_ssris/
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Heya lovelies
I have been on SSRI:s (citalopram/sepram, also known as cipramil/Celexa) for around 4 years now. I have been planning to drop my dose to Half (ofc with My psych's recommendation), but as My mood and general mental health has gotten well, My ED has gotten new Speed. Probably because I now feel I am "in control" of myself again.
And yeah my real question is this: What are your experiences with going off SSRI:s? And DID YOU LOSE/GAIN? No reason to pretend this Is what I'm really interested in :P
Thank all of you lovely people for telling me about light Cool Whip
/u/myworkhandle
Created: Mon Nov 5 10:58:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uftkh/thank_all_of_you_lovely_people_for_telling_me/
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OMG is it sooooooooo good!!! I eat it with canned peaches. I can't wait to buy more frozen fruit and try it with those! One container should last me the better part of a week and I don't feel guilty AT ALL. Love you all!
[Rant/Rave] Anorexia Stole My Titties
/u/coffeecalories [5'0 | 91.6 | 17.8 | -49 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 10:40:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufnax/anorexia_stole_my_titties/
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Title says it all. I used to have such cute perky breasts, and now my boobs are just deflated stretch mark ridden sacks and I honestly hate them so much more than before. I used to really dislike my boobs because of how much fat they held, and now I wish I could have them back because these are so much worse. I have gotten to the point where I will stop mid-sex to cover up my breasts or else I will start crying. I hate my body so much, and today I am really sad.
Lost weight but still see myself at my HW
/u/Christabel7374 [5'2 | CW: 110| GW: 95 | BMI: 20.84 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 10:37:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uflyv/lost_weight_but_still_see_myself_at_my_hw/
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I've lost 30lbs, which is great but when I compare progress photos from my HW and now I can't see a difference. 30lbs should be enough to see change right? How much more do I need to lose before I feel thin. 🙃 When did you guys start to see a noticeable difference?
VS Models and the fashion show
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 10:34:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufl5c/vs_models_and_the_fashion_show/
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My absolute 'ideal' is the VS model look and I'm so frickin' excited about the fashion show. I always look up the diets/workouts (although I'm not that into working out...) and try to copy them. Those ladies are basically athletes!! The self negation is incredible.
I’m... scared. I’m really, really scared.
/u/einhornschlag
Created: Mon Nov 5 10:26:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ufice/im_scared_im_really_really_scared/
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Hey everyone, this is my first post here.
I’ve struggled with my relationship with food for my whole life, and with that, I’ve been up and down on the scale for years now.
I recently graduated from college and started a job in the hotel side of the hospitality industry and HATED it. Every. Single. Second of it. With that, I gained 24-28 pounds. I’m finally making a transition over to my dream industry, the restaurant side of hospitality, and I’ve recently gotten control of my weight again with restricting, purging, exercise, etc. I’m down 14 pounds right now.
The problem is that in two days, I’m going to be surrounded by my #2 enemy: delicious food. Large quantities of it. All day, every day, completely at my disposal. What the fuck am I going to do? My chest hurts just thinking about it... how am I going to explain to a new group of coworkers why I’m weighing every slice of cucumber? How am I going control myself around desserts and pastries after a long shift? How am I going to keep myself from binging and purging after every meal again??
I’m utterly terrified. I was so excited about this opportunity, it seemed like my life and career was taking a turn for the better for a minute.
Does anybody have advice on working around food?
My GP doesn't have an available appointment for a long time - should I schedule an appointment at another doctor?
/u/queerjihad [bulimic / M / 19yo / fat]
Created: Mon Nov 5 09:49:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uf5t2/my_gp_doesnt_have_an_available_appointment_for_a/
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My GP knows about my history with bulimia and depression even though we haven't really talked about my ED before. I've been thinking about scheduling an appointment with him to discuss my ED and weight, since I sometimes feel suicidical because of my weight and I can't seem to lose weight no matter what I do.
The issue is that he's busy and thus I can't get an appointment with him until the 23rd, which is a pretty long wait. However, in the same building there is a different doctor who's supposedly really nice and she has an available appointment on the 14th.
Do you guys think I should schedule an appointment with the doctor I don't know next week? Or is it vital that I discuss my ED with a doctor who knows me?
Managed to save a bingey weekend
/u/spookyrascal
Created: Mon Nov 5 09:43:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uf3vq/managed_to_save_a_bingey_weekend/
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So Friday and Saturday night I got invited to some parties all of which had snacks. I ate at my daily limit both days and saved some calories for alcohol but told myself I wouldn’t partake in any of the food. Of course that didn’t happen because I have 0 self control and I ended up binging on everything because I was drunk and high (Oreos, crackers and dip, pumpkin bread, blackberry vodka punch). Pretty sure I ate twice as much as every one else like the great house guest I am. I stepped on the scale Sunday morning at a pound heavier than I had been Friday and was losing my shit. Fasted all day Sunday to help relieve some stress. This morning I weighed myself and lost 1.2 pounds Literally feel so much better and can stay on track this week without having to restrict super low. Fully learned my lesson and will no longer be eating before I go out.
Birthday goal
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW ?!|GW 115| F21]
Created: Mon Nov 5 09:40:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uf329/birthday_goal/
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I’ve been nonstop b/p omg every day for like a month now due to a lot of stress and today I’m finally gonna try and break the cycle. I’ve obviously tried before & it’s failed but I’m posting for accountability. My birthday is in 18 days and I don’t want to look and feel fat the entire time!!!!! Starting now no binging (until thanksgiving l o l)
I wasted my life ahahaha kill me
/u/howunfortunate_ [5'3 / cw: 115 lbs / bmi: 20.9 / -24 lbs / gw1: 109lbs]
Created: Mon Nov 5 09:39:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uf2jr/i_wasted_my_life_ahahaha_kill_me/
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I've been having health issues for years, mostly (what I just found out) are seizures. I blamed them on electrolyte issues because of my eating disorder. But as it turns out... it's a brain malformation that's gotten worse and worse as I grow older. The only way to fix it is invasive brain surgery, that I've been told could leave me unable to walk ever again.
Facing the possibility of that surgery, I realized I have nothing to live for. I've acheived nothing. What for most people is the best part of their lives, has been absolutely miserable through no one's fault but my own. My eating disorder, my depression, my social anxiety, it all comes back to me, and the stupid fucking choices I've made. Ages 12-18 have been shit on top of shit and it's all been my fault.
I have never kissed anyone because my only real relationship was long distance and the others broke up with me almost immediately because they realized I'm a stupid crazy bitch. I've never gone to a party, because I always talk myself out of social situations. I literally couldn't tell you the last time I felt happy without immediately feeling miserable right afterwards.
I'm just a stupid 18 yr old that's gonna die all alone and the worst part is, a part of me is okay with that because it's what I deserve. What I get for being a stupid, nerdy, fat fuck.
I don't even know what the point of this post is. I don't wanna warn anyone because I'd be a massive hypocrite. I guess just ranting because I'm sure people here can relate with this feeling. And I'm lonely as fuck, lol
[Help] I don't know what to do
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW: 116 | GW 100-105 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 09:37:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uf1xk/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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I'm depressed and just want to die. My parents are ok with me getting bad grades this semester but I'm struggling to do the work. I have the therapist tomorrow and my dad is going to that with me. But I just feel so trapped and like everything is imploding. I know what I want to do, general psych PHP. Yet I'm pressed to drop out of school.
Very thankful for this sub — I’ve never been able to relate so much anywhere else.
/u/lunarmoth_
Created: Mon Nov 5 09:21:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uewwa/very_thankful_for_this_sub_ive_never_been_able_to/
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I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder but I have spent more years actively restricting or bingeing than not. It seems like my life is one constant diet. I am diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder and was housebound with it for a long time in my teenage years. I’m 23 now, in therapy for sexual abuse and BDD. The BDD has gotten manageable thank god, and some days I even feel content (antidepressants help a lot: I was in the hospital earlier this year on suicide watch my BDD got so bad again).
The BDD subreddits and forums are...not very active, and contain a lot of the same content. With BDD the only real thing you can do is get plastic surgery to alleviate concerns, so there is not much movement or goal setting. I get enjoyment out of knowing I can change my body, set goals for weight lost, without spending a dime. It feels like I have control over my appearance.
Before I found this subreddit I scoured r/fasting a lot. I lost some weight from fasting for 6 days. Fasting is great but it interferes with my abilities at work. I am a tattoo artist and very passionate about my job and trying hard to climb the career ladder (too hard maybe?). I need to be able to focus and keep my hands from shaking. Also, not snap at my clients, lol! I think maybe restricting to 800 calories would work better, 1000 on gym days?
At my lowest I was 110lbs and 5’5”. I’m currently 150 but with a lot of muscle mass from being an obsessive weightlifter for years. I took some months off from the gym because I had a very unhealthy relationship with it (over-exercising, broken body) recently, but I’m returning today hopefully.
Anyways thanks for listening to me, I kind of just wanted to do a light introduction and thank you all for being here in this supportive format. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one that has felt this way about themselves, to this severity, but has found tools to cope. I’m weirdly warmed and relieved to read some of these posts I swear I could’ve written myself.
[Rant/Rave] So my schoolmates just called me fat
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:52:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uenrn/so_my_schoolmates_just_called_me_fat/
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So I don’t know if you’re familiar with the app Jodel, but it’s kinda like Reddit but with complete anonymity and subreddits (”subjodels”, idk but i’m just gonna call them that) and all.
So I’m in my school’s subjodel and yesterday someone asked: ”Who are the hottest girls in our school?”
Today someone answered, saying ”Carlems used to be hot when she was skinny. Not so much either anymore...”
It was upvoted by like 5 people. I feel devastated. I don’t know who these people are but now I know that someone has looked at me and thought that way in our school. Well, at least some motivation to stay on track.. :/
Reminder: I will always be ugly but I won't always be fat
/u/dearpuppy [F🐄 165cm | GW 42kg | CW 52.5kg]
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:33:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uehrb/reminder_i_will_always_be_ugly_but_i_wont_always/
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I just had my photo ID taken and I've been crying ever since. I don't expect anything different either? This happens every single fucking time I see a picture of myself. I know I'm ugly and that no one will ever be attracted to me, regardless of my weight.
I get these thoughts in my head though sometimes. Or it would be more apt to call them 'delusions'. They go like this: When I lose weight, people will think I'm pretty! When my waist is 22'', men will be attracted to me! When I reach my goal weight, everyone will be jealous of how beautiful and tiny I am! None of these things will ever happy because they are physically impossible. I don't have a pretty face at any weight. I come from a long line of unattractive women. Some people are just ugly. In no culture would my facial features be seen as 'beautiful', 'pretty', 'gorgeous', or even 'cute'. I should try to accept it.
I can, however, lose weight. It's better to be ugly and skinny rather than ugly and fat. This is the main thing keeping me from hurting myself right now.
[Help] Are there any low cal things to eat at Taco Bell, I’m going there today and I’m scared cause idk what to eat
/u/taylizzle- [Height:5’3 | CW:112 ]
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:31:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ueh59/are_there_any_low_cal_things_to_eat_at_taco_bell/
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[Other] *CLAP* *CLAP* RELAPSE.
/u/Lunabell2
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:30:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uegpl/clap_clap_relapse/
---
Well I’ve relapse like a mother fucker. Cancelled all my future therapy appointments because I don’t want to see my ED therapist until I lose 30 pounds (LOL fucked up right?!) I’m abusing substances again and eating under 800 calories a day. But you know what? I’m feel happier and more in control than I have in YEARS. I finally let that ED voice take over and I feel like I can finally rest in my natural state of starvation, purging, and chewing/spitting. I was 222 pounds two weeks ago and am 215 today. Time to lose all this “recovery that’s actually BED weight”
More seriously though I am keeping my head this time and am being safer and more confident. I don’t want my husband to catch on and now that I have two kids I CANT let them catch on because I don’t want to fuck them up. I eat with my kids at meal times but I eat the same amount that I give them and normally don’t finish by the time they’re finished because I’m trying to control a toddler AND feed an infant. So it’s working. No one is catching on. My husband will soon as soon as he realizes how much smaller I am but I feel like he won’t mind if he doesn’t realize I’m just starving myself.
I feel really good!! I’m on that “ED HIGH”.
[Goal] Diet?
/u/OwOsocks
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:28:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ueg3g/diet/
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Would anyone want to start this with me? I’m starting today. Comment if so and I’m thinking about making a gc :) (most likely on instagram or here)
Rules:
Monday- under 300
Tuesday- under 500, water only for drink
Wednesday- fast. water and gum only (flavored water allowed, no more than 5 cals)
Thursday- under 500, water only for drink
Friday- under 500
Saturday- liquid fast
Sunday- under 500
*2 exceptions allowed per week
(Eating out, family emergency, etc)
*on fast days, only water, flavored water, mints , and gum allowed (nothing over 5 cals)
*NO BINGING.
Binging means the next day is a water fast
*try to keep track of everything you eat by writing it down. Every little thing.
*eating over the budget=working it off!
When you want to be thinner but then you binge some shitty food because you hate yourself and don't care and then you get fatter and this makes you want to binge more.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uebcr/when_you_want_to_be_thinner_but_then_you_binge/
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How's everyone else's day going? Back to the grind today.
feel like I binged but didn’t
/u/reallypissedoffrant
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:04:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ue8ex/feel_like_i_binged_but_didnt/
---
today I have had-
3 cups of 0% fat fage 0% greek yogurt
1 spaghetti squash with 1 chicken sausage, marinara, and Parmesan
An egg white, feta, spinach, and turkey sausage omelet
And a piece of toast with peanut butter
(Not all at once, spread throughout the day)
I am STUFFED (as in, thanksgiving full, look like I’m about to give birth) and feel horrendously guilty even though it was 1215 calories and 108g carbs, 30g fat, and 134g of protein???! I literally just want a fucking break from my my ED. I’m trying to actually be somewhat healthy and I over exercise to cope with my feelings so my TDEE is high and I know I can lose weight fast on this amount so why is my anxiety so high?!?
I literally hate everything and don’t know what to do with myself. Sorry. I’m cranky and stressed and being dramatic but am just literally so angry at myself like why can’t I just eat like a fucking normal person and be happy at a healthy weight it’s so frustrating.
How’s everyone’s Monday?
/u/reallypissedoffrant
Created: Mon Nov 5 08:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ue8c6/hows_everyones_monday/
---
Just purged a protein bar and the stomach acid is killing my throat, yay.
Didn’t even come CLOSE to my Halloween goal weight, actually gained. I’ve been working out so some of its muscle but not all 🙃
Gonna try to shoot for 115 by thanksgiving I guess.
Sending good vibes
Do they sell food scales at stores like Wal-Mart or do I need to order one online?
/u/andinev
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:57:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ue6et/do_they_sell_food_scales_at_stores_like_walmart/
---
I went onto Walmart and targets websites and it says they have them but I couldn’t find them in the store and I was too embarrassed to ask an employee :(
[Help] What apps do you use?
/u/Rapudash
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:57:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ue67b/what_apps_do_you_use/
---
I just downloaded fast habit and I also have myfitnesspal but i usually forget to use it. What apps do you use, if any?
[Help] This may be a little unconventional but...
/u/PhoneWalletSanity
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:40:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ue160/this_may_be_a_little_unconventional_but/
---
TW: asking for suggestions for large mono-food meal.
I have absolutely no appetite. But me in recovery mode knows that I have to eat something to get through a fourteen hour day. Ideally, this would be only one something.
So I turn to you, my sisters, brothers and nonbinary folk with EDs of any kind and ask: what should I eat that's around 900-1000 calories but isn't very expensive?
I've kind of had a craving for something fatty (sweet or savory) lately but again, don't really feel like eating anything. Crunchy Cheetos were vaguely on my mind but idk if it would be a "yes I ate a decent amount" amount. Was also thinking a pint of real ice cream plus, it's on sale... anyway, I want your suggestions, god knows y'all are more creative than me.
Trying to decide if I should buy another food scale
/u/Boney_Maroney19
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:26:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udx4m/trying_to_decide_if_i_should_buy_another_food/
---
I gave my food scale to the thrift store a few months ago, telling myself I was done being obsessive over food and I'd just estimate. Well, now I'm back to counting calories and I'm seriously regretting my decision. I really want to buy another one, but I'm short on cash and I can't decide if it's worth it...
Do you guys use food scales? Does it help or am I better off just overestimating on MFP? Also I don't want to tip off my roommate that I'm worrying a lil too much about food. I don't really know what the point of posting this is, I just figured y'all would understand my ragrets lol.
eat till you cry and cry till you eat
/u/nickgalentine
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udwoo/eat_till_you_cry_and_cry_till_you_eat/
---
A nickgalentine story
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
[Discussion] what exactly is the deal with the skinny gossip forums?
/u/moutoncarpet
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:24:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udwg3/what_exactly_is_the_deal_with_the_skinny_gossip/
---
skinny gossip is a website that i’ve never been a member of but have lurked on before and it is truly so confusing to me. so the website is a forum for people to discuss what famous person has gained weight, who’s skinny and who’s not, etc.
i did some reading on the site and apparently the members say they want to be skinny not because they dislike themselves or have EDs, but because they just value self-improvement. but some of the stuff on there is more extreme than what you would see on self proclaimed websites for people with EDs. i saw a thread on skinny gossip that was for posting what you were wearing that day, and the thread literally got locked because the people posting pictures of themselves in it did not meet the skinny guidelines. what even??? that, and the culture on that website of shit talking celebs who have gained half a pound.
so my question is: how is this not a website full of disordered people? if you’ve ever been a member or know more about the website than me, i would love to hear what your experience was. it just seems to be that there’s no way you could be so fixated on weight but not have anything disordered going on in your own life.
TLDR; how do members on skinny gossip claim not to have EDs when they are part of a website designed for nitpicking the weight of strangers
Went off birth control to lose weight, gained instead
/u/gabygorl
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:11:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udsti/went_off_birth_control_to_lose_weight_gained/
---
Basically I’ve been on birth control for two years.
I gained a lot of weight at beginning being 145 at my heaviest. i started to lose weight while on birth control and then decided “maybe I can lose MORE if I went off”
Instead I’ve been binging like crazy and can’t get a grip of myself.
Woke up yesterday morning and had a melt down am still trying to get a grip of myself.
Decided that it’s a new week, new goals, new me.
But has anyone else experienced weight gain from birth control? And even coming off of it?
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like they're binging when they're still eating under the recommended minimum of calories a day?
/u/pokipokitoki [5'2"| 84 lbs | 15.4 | 21 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 07:04:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udqsj/anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_binging_when_theyre/
---
Since I noticed myself starting to relapse, I've been trying to stay vigilant about eating about 1,000 calories a day. Even though I know that's technically under what's medically advised, I still feel so fat and guilty at the end of each day that I meet that goal.
When I do finally motivate myself to eat, I truly relish every last bit of flavour on my tongue and the sensation of food going down my throat and into my stomach, but never without also feeling like I am dirty, out-of-control, a waste of space and resources, a phony and unworthy of love. I feel like, even though I'm eating less than a lot of people and only eating what I mentally set out for myself earlier, I'm inhaling thousands and thousands of calories and a disgusting volume of food.
Anyone else relate? What are your definitions of binging and how do you manage these emotions? I'm also curious if anyone has ever maintained sustained relative health at an underweight BMI that they're happy with.
is my period gone or am i pregnant? a waiting game
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:105 | bmi: 18.6 | wl: -8.4 | F | 24]
Created: Mon Nov 5 06:35:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udj9c/is_my_period_gone_or_am_i_pregnant_a_waiting_game/
---
yay its my favoriiiite
yeah i dropped 8 pounds in the last five weeks, and yeah i have lost my period before from restricting. but usually i lose it close to 100. so this seems early.
not only that, but im on birth control pills. ive always gotten my period on the placebo week. is it possible to lose your period while on bc pills? anyone have experience with this?
its only day two of placebo pills, its very probably that the red wave is just off schedule and coming tomorrow. but still part of me is going "well time to drag your tire ass to a pharmacy to grab some pregnancy tests i guess" so pray for me guysss
I booked an appointment with a rape councellor
/u/damnitjanet6 [5"5'| BMI 24.8 | -50lbs| 🍑 damnitjanet6 | 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 06:27:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udh9x/i_booked_an_appointment_with_a_rape_councellor/
---
I'm freaking the fuck out.
I feel like I've made a massive mistake
I'm sitting stuck in the loo at uni right now trying not to have a panic attackh I just came out of my third therapy session and fuuuuck me my therapist decided that I need to talk to someone specialised in rape about what happened and about my control issues. I feel like such a liar and I don't know why because everything did happen I'm not going crazy but I don't want to keep reliving it but now I can't stop thinking about it I want to die I want to go home and go to bed and then also die so that I don't have to go to this appointment. But I want to be better too. I want to be able to hug my friends without freaking out that someone's touching me. I want to be able to eat like a normal person instead of gorging to squish the pain of memories or fasting until the world doesn't seem so sharp anymore.
So I booked the appointment.
And now I regret it.
Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] ED is feeling excited when your dad gives you money to make dinner for everyone, but crying when you realize you can’t make anything without eating it. :(
/u/peppermintpumpkin [5’4” | CW 97lbs | BMI 16.6 | LW 24lbs | GW 90 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 06:17:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udest/ed_is_feeling_excited_when_your_dad_gives_you/
---
Honestly, fuck eating disorders
Anybody else trying or have experience with keto / low carb?
/u/skcr08082018 [5'9" | CW 128 (BMI 18.9) | GW 115]
Created: Mon Nov 5 06:15:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ude9y/anybody_else_trying_or_have_experience_with_keto/
---
I hear keto + IF (intermittent fasting) does wonders, but I've had mixed results with it in the past - I was doing 5 days keto + IF | 2 days normal eating (salad for lunch, coupla beers, etc) on the weekend, and I'd always gain back all my gains
anybody have better results?
[Rant/Rave] I can feel everything touching
/u/notria17
Created: Mon Nov 5 06:07:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9udcf2/i_can_feel_everything_touching/
---
I’ve been eating like shit and the scale hasn’t gone up but I know it should and I just need somewhere to put down my thoughts.
I have a date for the first time in over a year and she is really cool and pretty and I am so gay but she is super in shape and I just feel like the largest blob and I am terrified that she is just going to take one look at me and want to leave.
I feel so huge. My stomach is huge, my arms are huge, my thighs are always touching unless I am practically in the splits and I just want it all the fucking stop.
I’ve been on a massive binge cycle lately for like 2 months after being so good at restricting and I just want to get back into it but I can’t and my roommates are always leaving sweets and treats around and I think I am going insane.
TLDR: fuck
Boss accidentally laughed in my face at my appearance... Can't stop eating
/u/PM_ME_BrusselSprouts [5'3" | CW: 165 | BMI: 30.0 | 33, F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:53:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ud94o/boss_accidentally_laughed_in_my_face_at_my/
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I'm about to start crying writing this, I just don't know what to do. I work in a male-dominated profession, on a work site that is dirty, etc etc. Being ashamed of my body anyways, I generally wear men's clothing (it's great actually), no makeup, etc. I still get hit on occasionally but I have no clue why, I'm not a pretty girl to begin with, and I'm currently obese. I really don't like guys hitting on me, especially at work. Anyways, I had my hair up in a ponytail and was coming into work so I had my hardhat on, my sleep deprived boss takes one look at me and let's out an involuntary laugh. Another co-worker was present. I was like, "what" and he's like, "nothing."
This happened 4 days ago and I have been non stop eating and drinking since. I accidentally binged on camera (not used to working around cameras), because I'm often alone at the job site. I haven't purged in 8+ years (it's very hard for me to vomit) but I almost did (tried for 10 minutes) this morning thinking about coming into work. I've gained three lbs this week, idk what to do.
I've been ugly my whole life, so I should be used to this... and I have been wearing my hair different (ponytail pushed into hat looks stupid) since I have to wear the hard hat, but this just hurts so much. I know I need to fast but this job is 60% outside and physical, and I'm worried about snapping at a coworker. Will someone please come here and take all my food away?
Saw a post about "thicc" that gave me a revelation as a female bodied black person
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ud7bj/saw_a_post_about_thicc_that_gave_me_a_revelation/
---
Kind of losing my mind over it.
I am probably the healthiest I have ever been and I have been told to continue maintaining and or tone my body by friends and family but the thing is, realistically I am very big. Big hips, big tits, etc but it really is a standard in the black community.
I get the "popularity" of it now as a commercialized beauty standard but I grew up with that!
Being a "thick" black girl is the standard and was acceptable in my community but I remember when I was much much younger and went to a predominately white school; I was made fun of viciously for not being thin. However; when I went home it was like night and day and I was sexualized/abused by others on the accusation that I was thick for a young one and I despised it.
Eating disorders, depression, anxiety, etc were literally called "white people problems" in my household. (I was made fun of by my family a lot for not "acting black" it was kind of rough sometimes.)
Being a thick black girl is not my niche, maybe it's lucky that people don't expect black girls to have eating disorders. I likely won;t be caught with it until I'm dead. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
​
Where my eating disordered black people/people of color at?? Can you share your experiences?
Female problems. Has anyone been through this?
/u/rosepetalmemories
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:41:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ud672/female_problems_has_anyone_been_through_this/
---
I've started heavily restricting and have managed to drop about 11lbs bringing my current wt to 109lbs at 5'5 tall. I've been super pleased and was able to toss out all my pants and go shopping for some cute stuff. The problem: I have been "spotting" almost nonstop for a month. I use a birth control patch so it's heavily dependent on absorbing through my skin and fat since it's a hormone. Has anyone else has this issue or know how to stop it?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! November 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:13:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ud01v/weekly_stats_update_november_05_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 05, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 05, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:13:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ud00k/daily_food_diary_november_05_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 05, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Goal] My friend asked me to model for his upcoming clothing line
/u/bluecokezero [4'11 | 129lbs | 26 | -21lbs | NB]
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uczyo/my_friend_asked_me_to_model_for_his_upcoming/
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That means it’s fuckin RESTRICTION TIMEEEE. I’m gonna restrict like crazy and try to fast as much as possible. I only have about 2-3 weeks to lose as much weight as I can so if anyone has any tips it would be greatly fuckin appreciated.
I do not wanna look like a fat slob in these pics, I wanna look like a dainty aesthetic Instagram model. I’m gonna achieve that- idc what it takes.
[Rant/Rave] Surprise calories
/u/Serodollars
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:08:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ucyv7/surprise_calories/
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I just had a lentil salad for lunch i had to eat with my friends and when counting it up later it must have been like 800 calories??? Like what?
UGH I'm angry and sad and I kind of want to purge it but have no way of doing it for at least four more hours.
[Help] Recommendations for food & cooking shows that aren't about dieting?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW:124lbs | HW:160lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 05:02:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ucxn4/recommendations_for_food_cooking_shows_that_arent/
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I've watched every obesity/ED/weight loss show known to man. I need something different. Watching all these videos just makes my food and weight loss obsession more extreme. Lately, I've taken to reading recipe books and watching cooking shows. I forgot how the majority of people see food as something to be enjoyed, not feared. Surprisingly, it hasn't triggered any binge-eating either. While I'm not even considering stopping my weight loss, I find it quite calming watching others prepare and eat food without a care in the world. Their normality might rub off on me.
Does anybody have any recommendations? Anything about cooking, or how food's made, or just food in general that's not diet-related? Thanks!
[Discussion] Haven’t lifted since my last heavy restriction cycle.
/u/MildMannerdPate
Created: Mon Nov 5 04:42:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uctmw/havent_lifted_since_my_last_heavy_restriction/
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Found that my hands and arms are so much more veiny before when I lift. 😩😩
This just makes me want to drop another 30lb and see how veiny I can get. Anyone else notice this?
How helpful do you find fasting timers?
/u/gremlintot
Created: Mon Nov 5 04:18:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ucoz4/how_helpful_do_you_find_fasting_timers/
---
I usually have trouble pushing past the first 30-50 hours. Besides how it's a bit physically hard, I think I also forget just how much I wanted to fast and get past that 3rd day where it's supposed to get easier.
I haven't yet used a timer, have you guys found that it helps? How much?
Any other tips for pushing past the first few hardest days?
Do you think your ED influenced your type? (As in romantic/sexual type )
/u/b-carbonate [5’6" | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 21.6 | 🏳️🌈 | 19F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 04:17:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ucor3/do_you_think_your_ed_influenced_your_type_as_in/
---
I noticed recently that all my crushes are very thinspo esque girls or buff girls like Zarya from overwatch (yeah that’s the only example I could give right now sorry)
Every time I think of that meme "Do I wanna fuck her or I wanna be her?" , maybe coz I’m very gay the line between thinspo and crush are thin (ha ha ha ha) but idk because I actually wasn’t allowing myself to crush on people before I was alone for college, so I already had Ed thoughts but not as strong...
(Also Im college I crush hard on the sosie of Kimiperi she’s so cool but I’m afraid to talk to her ha ha)
See you :D
[Help] school lunches - help?
/u/glossipgirl [155cm | 48.5kg | 20.2 | -4kg | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 03:31:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ucg2p/school_lunches_help/
---
hey y'all! recently i've been trying to take lower-calorie lunches to school, but it pisses my mum off and as she's already suspicious abt my "unhealthy relationship w food", i'm trying to come up with lunches that'll satisfy her AND not make me feel like an absolute pig. this is a bit hard for me, as even a banana apparently wasn't good enough (ffs). any advice would be amazing, thank you!
[Rant/Rave] I just pulled out a wad of hair
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 03:23:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ucenp/i_just_pulled_out_a_wad_of_hair/
---
I look dead 24/7.
I have chest pain.
I’m dizzy.
I’m in a mental fog constantly.
I avoid hanging out with my friends so I don’t have to eat.
I’m weak.
I’m always tired no matter how much sleep I get.
I fast 40 hours at a time, and feel shitty for not fasting more instead of being proud Im able to fast that long.
I eat 200-1000kcal whenever I choose to eat (unless it’s the weekend and I binge and undo all the progress)
I’m starving. I’m fucking tired of this shit.
I’m losing my hair but I’m not losing weight.
Why the fuck am I not losing weight?
Restriction is hell.
[Discussion] If I nap, I won't eat. But if I don't, I'll manage to go to sleep early tonight
/u/Arkhamgel
Created: Mon Nov 5 03:17:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ucdim/if_i_nap_i_wont_eat_but_if_i_dont_ill_manage_to/
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Why must life be so cruel
how to respond to this kind of compliment at work
/u/ashdust [5ft5 | 108 | 18 | 22f]
Created: Mon Nov 5 02:43:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uc7h2/how_to_respond_to_this_kind_of_compliment_at_work/
---
i hope someone can help me with this- a lot of my self-worth comes from being skinny but also hatred comes from feeling not thin enough sometimes (due to binging and feeling crap and comparison). so it's confusing when people compliment on my skinny features specifically. i worked at a shoe shop the other day and multiple times while i was helping a customer choose and try on shoes they made upfront comments about my body. in a complimentary way e.g. no these boots won't work because my legs are so chubby, you wouldn't understand because you have... XYZ.
i never know how to respond because i tend to feel embarrassed and laugh but that seems pretty rude right. it feels weird and also not true imo to agree with them about their compliment. denying it seems as rude as laughing. ignoring isn't really possible in a work environment.
[Other] Back to the drawing board
/u/dragaynite
Created: Mon Nov 5 02:25:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uc4fu/back_to_the_drawing_board/
---
I’m so pissed at myself. I keep binging and impulsively eating, even when I’m not hungry. I finally weighed myself this morning and I’m back up to 144 lbs. I feel so disgusting. I just want to lose all this weight but I never do it in a sustainable way so I end up eating it back as soon as I feel good enough to let myself “cheat”. Whyyyyy can’t I just have control over this stupid meat sack my consciousness inhabits? Ugh
Spent 25 mins making this PoS no binge calendar
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Mon Nov 5 01:54:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubz3c/spent_25_mins_making_this_pos_no_binge_calendar/
---
https://i.redd.it/p0x2aok48hw11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My routine and food schedule got fucked
/u/feelsomethinggg
Created: Mon Nov 5 01:52:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubypc/my_routine_and_food_schedule_got_fucked/
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So work got hectic as hell tonight. I usually fast 24 hours and eat one meal ~300-600 cals. Welllllll today my shit got fucked. And I'm pissed.
I felt woozy so I ate a quest bar way earlier than I normally eat. Then didn't get home until just now. So I ate my 300 cal meal I had intended on esting earlier.
I ate and now I feel so off balance and guilty I even ate. I should have just skipped it and ate tomorrow night.
The scales not moving
I want to purge
I hate myself.
And rant.
It’s 3am and I’ve already ruined my fast:)
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 01:44:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubx9w/its_3am_and_ive_already_ruined_my_fast/
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I have a 4am shift today and I decided to eat 2 mini cookies and drink 2 glasses of almond milk. I’m already at 210 calories for the day. It all started because I planned on c/s a few, but I ended up eating 2. I need to lose 10lbs.
I’m a failure :(
[Intro] Is Peach still around and are people still active?
/u/Serephyte
Created: Mon Nov 5 01:29:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubuxi/is_peach_still_around_and_are_people_still_active/
---
I just recently joined and all the username threads seem to be a year old at least.
I would love to have some friends on there
User: Seretheniel
[Rant/Rave] God I'm hungry
/u/RottingDirtDog
Created: Mon Nov 5 01:25:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ububw/god_im_hungry/
---
I hate this relationship I have with food. Hate it hate it hate it!!! I feel so ugly and greasy and wobbly and I always have, ever since I was a little boy, not even fucking eight years old I felt like a massive fatty. I remember my dad slapping my belly and warning me I was going to get 'big and fat' like him.
God I hate food and yet I love it so much. I can't even eat an apple without purging. I've never spoken to anybody who purges like me. I know I'm going to fucking die. And I don't care as long as I die skinny.
Sorry for the rant I just had to get this off my chest. :(
[Rant/Rave] welcome to relapse town, population: me
/u/meesha19
Created: Mon Nov 5 01:19:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubt8z/welcome_to_relapse_town_population_me/
---
soOoOoOo I’ve struggled with disordered eating behaviors since I was ~6 years old (parents restricted a lot of “unhealthy” foods, I lived in a toxic high stress environment and was constantly sneaking snacks and hiding the wrappers behind the couch or binging junk food at friend’s houses) and when I was 16 and got my license it took off. I start binging at various fast food joints until I mustered up the “courage” to make myself throw up. I always thought I was “too weak” to make myself throw up or be anorexic (if that isn’t disordered idk what is). thus began the spiral down to rock bottom :-) compulsively exercised in college, started counting/restricting calories until I discovered my new bffs ~adderall and cocaine~ and went from 180 to 118lbs (I’m 5’2) while pretending I was doing it by healthy diet and exercise. i began my Bloody Mary diet of—you guessed it— bloody Mary’s for breakfast lunch and dinner but I was too drunk to care about gaining 5 lbs pounds back. my alcoholism is another story but it revolves around the same “I have no control over my life so I’m going to ingest various substances to impact how I feel bc I love instant gratification” attitude that accompanies my ed. I’ve been sober for almost 2 years now now and it’s fine I guess but I’ve gained so much of my weight back (153lbs rn and fucking ASHAMED). part of it was me going to outpatient treatment for 8 hours a day for 6 months and I was in recovery mode for a while but now you literally couldn’t pay me to give a fuck about my health. I’m desperately trying to regain that sense of motivation (yes yes it’s toxic but idgaf) to not eat and exercise like crazy again. I ran half marathons 2 years ago and now I never want to leave my house because everyone will notice what a land whale I am and I’ll probably be featured in some r/fatpeoplelogic stories because I am a literal huge waste of space. If anyone has gotten this far THANK YOU I just really needed to vent to someone who understands and I’m too embarrassed to reach out to my treatment friends because 1. relapse 2. I don’t want recovery 3. I basically don’t have friends anymore bc ive been *~*isolating*~*
*end rant* how tf are you guys doing? please tell me something about your life (good or bad) so I stop obsessing so much over myself
[Rant/Rave] Attempted to have a normal Thanksgiving and....
/u/Samazing12
Created: Mon Nov 5 00:57:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubpm3/attempted_to_have_a_normal_thanksgiving_and/
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It's not going to happen. I had planned to have my first real thanksgiving in 6 years. I'm not close with my family and I was at college for most of that. I recently moved across the country to be with my boyfriend. I've grown pretty close with his family so I was excited to attempt to have a normal holiday.
I'm required to work 7pm-7am that night so I requested we try and do more of a late lunch type thing. Well, no one wants to eat that early. So I cannot physically attend Thanksgiving. No one wanted to make some small accommodations for me. They don't have a big family. Maybe 7 people or so, including myself.
Guess it wasn't meant to happen, lol.
[Help] Tips for pescatarians?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Mon Nov 5 00:57:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubpio/tips_for_pescatarians/
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Hey guys! I recently went pescatarians. (more for avoiding high calorie animal foods from my culture than for the animals itself :( ik ik such a fraud) can you guys please list some vegetarian meals that aren’t too difficult to make and please comment what you eat. I’m planning to avoid seafood unless it’s a whole family gathering. Thank guys!
[Discussion] Vape People!
/u/lcayerf
Created: Mon Nov 5 00:20:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubj59/vape_people/
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Okay, I trust you all so I'm asking here instead of somewhere more specific 😂
I'm going to get a vape. I currently smoke both cigarettes and weed (with tobacco) and it's becoming insanely expensive to keep smoking so much tobacco. I know what type of vape I want ([Vapresso Baby Tarot](https://www.vaporfi.com.au/vaporesso-tarot-baby-85w-vape-starter-kit.html - becauses it's both cute & a good brand) But I am so fucking overwhelmed by the brands and flavours and where to start?
Suggestions please:
- best flavours
- best/worst brands for eliquid
- flavours that help during restriction or any you've found to induce a binge?
- any other experiences and suggestions
- (is there a cheeseburger flavour)
Thanks in advance ! I hope you're having a good day 💖
I was messing around with a photo editor and wanted to share my creation with you all.
/u/karrierpigeon
Created: Mon Nov 5 00:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubhey/i_was_messing_around_with_a_photo_editor_and/
---
https://i.redd.it/s3o0i9slpgw11.jpg
[Help] What to expect from laxatives ?
/u/cattivity
Created: Sun Nov 4 23:50:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubdb4/what_to_expect_from_laxatives/
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I'm so sick of feeling backed up and bloated from my week of binging so I took miralax and drank senna tea. I don't normally use laxatives but I just got so desperate. What should I expect ?
forgetting to turn off the fasting tracker..i wish
/u/manson-fam
Created: Sun Nov 4 23:42:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ubbw0/forgetting_to_turn_off_the_fasting_trackeri_wish/
---
https://i.redd.it/hatvr68lkgw11.jpg
Hit my GW for an event 2 weeks early then proceeded to fuck it up
/u/deanhipchester [5' | lmao | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 23:33:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uba0s/hit_my_gw_for_an_event_2_weeks_early_then/
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Like the title says. I leave to visit my LD boyfriend on Tuesday and wanted to be 113 by that day, which was a healthy loss at the time. But of course, I'm **disordered** disordered so I hit it early. I've been b/ping so much this weekend that my weight is up to 115 and I've got puffy cheeks and a double chin from the bloating :(
[Discussion] Anyone else oddly obsessed with collar bones and hip bones?
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 93 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Sun Nov 4 23:33:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ub9x8/anyone_else_oddly_obsessed_with_collar_bones_and/
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I dont know why, but it just makes me feel giddy looking at and feeling mine. I get some weird satisfaction seeing these bones stick outta me.
New week = potential to eat perfectly
/u/Diet123x [5'3 | cw 137 | gw 110 🍉🥑🍟🍔]
Created: Sun Nov 4 23:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ub92t/new_week_potential_to_eat_perfectly/
---
I’m feeling so motivated to hit all of my goals for this week. I’m eating a 300 calorie lunch every day at work, and drinking coffee and water for the rest of the day.
I just want this week to go perfectly, because then I feel like it’s proof that I will be able to lose the 20lbs I desperately I need to lose.
I meal prepped the most beautifully looking soup to bring to work every day. Any one else shooting for a low restriction week?
[Rant/Rave] i fucking hate scales
/u/tired_platypus [5' 3'' | CW: 119 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | HW: 131 lbs | F17]
Created: Sun Nov 4 23:01:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ub3fu/i_fucking_hate_scales/
---
it’s like no matter what the scale says, it triggers a binge. if the weights too high, then i’m a failure and i’m never gonna reach my GW so might as well eat whatever i want. if the weight is lower than i expected, then it’s like my brain is telling that i can reward myself with a cheat day which quickly turns into a binge. no matter what i see, it’s never real motivation to lose weight it’s just motivation to eat, and then the next day i hate myself and starve myself again. i reach a low weight when i check in the morning and a couple hours later it’s a pound or 2 higher than what it used to be. obviously this makes sense cuz ur always lower in the morning supposedly but of course my ED brain won’t let me accept it. it’s like i’m fuckingn addicted to just checking the scale every half hour and then being disappointed no matter what
but that’s over. i’m not checking my weight until next sunday and no matter what it says, that day is gonna be a cheat day, not a binge, but just a way to reward myself. sunday is gonna be what gets me thru this week.
[Rant/Rave] Sitting in a parking garage throwing my guts up
/u/katie1220
Created: Sun Nov 4 22:58:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ub2xb/sitting_in_a_parking_garage_throwing_my_guts_up/
---
Well, After many months I’m back to this. Tonight I sat on the roof of a parking garage, fingers down my throat and throwing up everything I could. Everything seems pointless lately, I just want to feel something again,
[Help] Daily binging for a week- I’M STOPPING THIS BEHAVIOR
/u/blingbling-bitch
Created: Sun Nov 4 22:29:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uawos/daily_binging_for_a_week_im_stopping_this_behavior/
---
so as the title says, i’ve been binging 500-1000cal over maintenance (OMFG just writing it freaks me outs) and every day I tell myself i’ll eat a normal calorie deficit or even maintenance the day after and it’ll be ok. I am mostly ‘good’ during he day ( normal food amounts ~ 400 cal breakfasts, lunches out at fast foods, small snacks nothing extreme) and then as soon as I get home, I get crazy and eat anything junk I can see even when i’m full from my day of eating. This is usually where i’ll go super overboard in eating and it doesnt help that my mom (who’s obese and makes dessert everyday UGH) stocks the fridge EVERY FRICKING DAY with those types of food, saying she buys them bc my sister loves them even when I beg her not to.
At this point I feel so trapped and desperate. But I know I can get myself out of this. I deleted MFP off my phone. I won’t be counting calories and I will make healthier choices instead of focusing on a number.
I don’t really know why I wrote this post other than to get support and force myself to stick with it and eat normally / get back to a low weight, even if it takes longer !
[Discussion] DAE hoard junk food?
/u/essentialmeerkat
Created: Sun Nov 4 22:26:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uaw3p/dae_hoard_junk_food/
---
It's really weird I have like a collection of chips, chocolates, candies, and other binge foods but I never actually binge/eat them I just collect them and look at them sometimes, I feel like I just like knowing if I wanted too I could have them?
Not a good food day for this girl.
/u/tipsytoess
Created: Sun Nov 4 22:16:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uatwd/not_a_good_food_day_for_this_girl/
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Since I've achieved the milestone of losing 20 pounds I thought it would be fine if I went out to a new seafood restaurant with friends. We were having a nice time, I was eating fried catfish when I felt something long and wiggly in my mouth. I pulled it out and it was a roundworm. I immediately started heaving and literally ran into the bathroom and vomited involuntarily. Every time I thought about the worm I vomited. I must have thrown up a dozen times today. So I'm laying in bed with my stomach empty and I think maybe since I've thrown up everything I ate today I could have some soup. Chicken broth, egg and dumpling soup. Once it was boiling I added the soy sauce and Sriracha and poured it into a bowl. I carried it into my living room and for some reason, I don't know how or why, I dropped it. Dumplings and egg mashed into the floor and the broth soaked the carpet. My hands got badly scalded. I literally just sat on the floor and cried. Then continued sobbing as I cleaned the mess. I feel so so low and pathetic. I don't understand why I am like this.
[Other] i don't deserve well-fitting, stylish clothes at my current size
/u/icdcofe
Created: Sun Nov 4 22:15:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uatno/i_dont_deserve_wellfitting_stylish_clothes_at_my/
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title.
[Rant/Rave] just ordered two pieces of cheesecake to be delivered to me knowing full well it’ll end up in the toilet. oh well. don’t care
/u/imaginary_gerl
Created: Sun Nov 4 22:07:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uarqt/just_ordered_two_pieces_of_cheesecake_to_be/
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and now i have the audacity to tell myself that this is my last binge.
but maybe i’m right. i do have a hike with a friend planned for tomorrow morning, and i only have safe food in my house (fuck the absolute convenience of getting whatever you want delivered to you) lol
idk. how are you guys doin
[Rant/Rave] kinda wanna get caught
/u/summerservice [5'2 | ??? | 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 21:52:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uaoct/kinda_wanna_get_caught/
---
long time no post! this is a weird depression thing I’ve been thinking about that I just have to get off my chest xo
I kind of want someone to call me out. I want someone to prod me about my habits just a little further until I’m about to crack. I want to keep toeing the line, making jokes about starving myself that are totally serious. I want to pass out in front of people again and have them worry. I want people to look at me with that mix of reverence and pity, and tell me that they’re here for me if I need anything, even if they wouldn’t follow through.
like a serial killer leaving hints about their identity at each scene. I like the thrill of getting closer to being found out.
I’m so fucking sad all the time and I don’t know how to ask for help without sounding like I just want attention. but I do want attention, and is that so wrong? do I really have to push this the extra mile and do something bad to myself to warrant it?
I know I don’t. I know I could just sit my best friend down and tell them that I’m depressed and terrified. but it’d be so much easier to just let it come out while I’m in a hospital bed. :-))))
can anyone relate or am I just being an especially bad person today?
Trying to motivate myself
/u/lilmdjd
Created: Sun Nov 4 21:51:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uao34/trying_to_motivate_myself/
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Ive been loosing sooo slowly and really want to lose 5 more before my birthday in two weeks. My main issue is I can restrict (3-500) 4/7 days but I then I have a few maintenance days too so my average calorie consumption (before exercise) is around 1000. I want consistency 😭 My plan is to eat 750 STRICTLY, and burn 400 calories 4 times a week. With my 1500ish tdee, I should lose 5 lbs of fat in the next 14 days. Im thinking maybe I’m gonna keep track of my cumulated deficit and draw out a graph or something because visuals seem to help me. Does anyone else have anything that helps them maintain focus on a goal?
Has anyone here watched Dietland?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | CW: 111| 17.6 | -20 | F | UGW: 104]
Created: Sun Nov 4 21:19:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uago0/has_anyone_here_watched_dietland/
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What are y'alls thoughts on the show? I just started and it's really gripping so far. Even though the main character and I look radically different, I can relate a lot to her emotional mindset and behavior. I'm curious what people here think!
[Rant/Rave] I want to binge so bad (:
/u/cattivity
Created: Sun Nov 4 21:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uadvp/i_want_to_binge_so_bad/
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I started watching binge videos and now I want to binge so bad holy fuck. I'm literally rocking back and forth right now. There's peanut butter in the other room (OHMYGOD the woooorst) and my roommate is asleep and now would be the perfect time to binge. I thought watching these videos would help suppress the urge but nooooo. God damn I'm going to reverse all my progress if I keep going at this rate.
[Discussion] 8 weeks til New Years. What are y’all’s goals?
/u/trickasfuck [170cm | CW: 66.8kg | GW: 59.0kg | -3.2kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 21:02:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uacpf/8_weeks_til_new_years_what_are_yalls_goals/
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Sorry if I tagged this incorrectly or if someone has already asked this. I’ve been lurking but this is my first time posting (this is a throwaway account).
Y’all I was doing so well until I binged on Halloween and haven’t stopped since (eating like at least 3000-4500 calories everyday). I set a goal at the beginning of the year to get below 63kg by 2019 and I’ll be damned if I don’t do it. There are 8 weeks until New Years and I wanna try and get to 63 or maybe even 61kg (which isn’t even that small). I’m going to put myself in like a 700-1000 calorie deficit everyday and distract myself with kpop and college finals to avoid overeating. Do y’all have any goals you want to accomplish before the new year (weight related or not)?
Me telling myself not to binge
/u/silvermoon11931
Created: Sun Nov 4 20:57:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uabef/me_telling_myself_not_to_binge/
---
https://i.redd.it/mhxlvft3rfw11.jpg
[Discussion] Reading restaurant menus
/u/borrellia [5'11| CW: 144 | GW: 123 | 21F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 20:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9uaaxe/reading_restaurant_menus/
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When I’m hardcore restricting or fasting and the hunger gets unbearable, there’s nothing I love more than reading dozens of restaurant menus — picking what I would order, which modifications I would make, which restaurant would be my top choice, etc. It’s similar to watching cooking/eating shows (been on a major GBBO binge lately), but for me it’s almost more satisfying because I get to personalize it. Anyone else do this???
[Help] Fast starts tomorrow!
/u/poopybuttholeboy
Created: Sun Nov 4 20:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ua3x0/fast_starts_tomorrow/
---
Hello everybody, I hope everyone is doing well!
I’ve decided to make a post because I need some serious accountability and yo’ll are the most supportive people I know.
I have a festival coming up in two weeks time and I need to loss some weigh before I get there! I’ve been bouncing between extreme restriction and binging/purging plus using laxitives almost everyday for the last few months and it’s getting so out of control, recently I have been just binging and purging with periods of health eating in between and as a result I have gained about 3kgs I really want to get rid of.
I’ve got these Bondi slimming protein shakes (140 cal) to replace my main meal of the day and was thinking I would stick to carrot sticks and fruit for my other meals but I need some good tips to keep myself feeling fully with out the calories! My goal is to stick to 500calories a day and to burn most of this off with exercise at the gym.
I need to be able to do this while working night shifts and going to the gym every day...
Will post updates and let you all know how I’m going.
Any advise would be amazing! I love you all so much and am so grateful for this beautiful community I have found!
I accidentally restricted and then binged...
/u/kreisler19
Created: Sun Nov 4 20:28:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ua3qa/i_accidentally_restricted_and_then_binged/
---
So as the title suggests: I had a muffin today and 2 pieces of candy. I had a very busy day so I forgot to eat. In the evening I felt exhausted like passing out exhausted and I felt like I couldn’t think straight. So naturally, I binged on a chicken wrap and fries. It’s been more than 3h since that meal and I’m still full fml.
Therefore I must ask:
how do you, people who f a s t get through a normal day (not days where you have no obligations)?
Don’t you get tired af? I felt like dying just lightly exercising (a 10 minute walk home)
[Rant/Rave] Severely triggered by school ‘friend’ constantly
/u/selfcontrolwya
Created: Sun Nov 4 20:08:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9yoo/severely_triggered_by_school_friend_constantly/
---
So during the season of girls’ swimming (a whole other story for another time as well lmao) I got pretty close with a mutual friend- let’s call her K. K is a slightly above average weight and is BEAUTIFUL. Like seriously, her eyes are the most stunning blue/green. Anyway, she always has to find a way to mention our sizes. Like last week she said that “big girls gotta eat!” when we were chowing down pizza. This sounds horrible and I know it’s my ED talking, but immediately my brain went haywire and started internally calling K a fat pig. How DARE she put me in the same category as her? my mind screamed. After this incident, i fasted for 4 days out of the week and didn’t go over 1300 calories the other 3 days. Basically any time I’m with K she directly or indirectly makes me feel extremely insecure about my weight. I just had to get this off my chest because it kills me every time :/
[Other] ED as a distraction
/u/cattivity
Created: Sun Nov 4 20:07:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9yd7/ed_as_a_distraction/
---
I know I've been making up a pretty big majority of the posts here on proED, I promise I'll shut up at some point.
I just kinda had a realization about my habits. I think I do all of this to distract myself from reality. I have a lot of existential dread. I wake up in the middle of nights panicking because I know I'm going to die and the people I love will die. The fact that I have no idea what's going to happen to me or those around me, it fucking terrifies me. Another big thing is that trying to navigate the adult world is so hard. I feel like a child mentally and I'm not ready to be treated like an adult, I can't make decisions for myself. Well I can, but I make bad ones when given the choice and now I'm expected to make so many that will seriously affect my wellbeing! Fucking mindblowing honestly.
I hate my personality, I don't think I'm smart or interesting at all. I've tried to change it but I can't change my true nature. I'm quiet, really uncoordinated, incredibly awkward socially, really sensitive. Just, not an inspiring person at all. Not someone you'd want to spend time with.
I guess having this superficial thing to focus on, my weight, it really keeps me from panicking about the deep shit I don't want to think about. I feel almost safe in my little bubble of numbers, meal planning, calories, etc.
That's not to say that my ED doesn't cause pain. My god does it. Somedays I really want to kill myself because I hate my body so much and I just want to be beautiful and caring so much is exhausting.
I keep envisioning what I will be like and feel like when I'm 105 pounds. Happier, more confident. All these things. But will I be? Will I strive lower or just feel empty? I don't know.
I just wish that my mind wasn't so unpleasant that I have to choose between different types of misery.
I don't know why I'm so fucked up. Maybe it's not me. Maybe it's life.
[Help] Is it okay to chew then spit?
/u/okbunnie
Created: Sun Nov 4 20:03:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9xb8/is_it_okay_to_chew_then_spit/
---
I’ve heard different things from different people, but I’ve heard that chewing and spitting is good?? I don’t know if you take any calories but I’m thinking if it doesn’t go into my stomach it’s fine???
If this really doesn’t make me gain or even use up calories, that would be amazing for binges and solving cravings!!??
Saw myself in a picture and almost cried
/u/fuckinhelpmehdhd [5'8 | CW 137 | GW 117 | 19M]
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:55:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9v28/saw_myself_in_a_picture_and_almost_cried/
---
Why does my face have to be so fat... the rest of my body is already pretty skinny but I look so fucking fat. Even my brother who weighs 50 pounds more than me has a slimmer face than I do
I feel like the worst most spoiled brat in the world.
/u/DontTouchMyCrease
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:49:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9thy/i_feel_like_the_worst_most_spoiled_brat_in_the/
---
I’m in Hawaii. I’ve never been before. I should be ecstatic. Instead I’m alone in the hotel room and my husband is pissed because I broke down at the thought of anyone seeing me. Supposedly I’ve lost 20 pounds but I feel like a beached whale. Have I actually lost weight? Is it all in my head? no fucking clue. Sorry guys I just felt too evil and disgusting and needed to let it out.
[Help] ED in college with mandatory meal plan?
/u/AtypANA [5'9|CW 196.8|HW 220|LW 120|(F)GQ🏳️🌈]
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:43:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9ryq/ed_in_college_with_mandatory_meal_plan/
---
I will be starting college in 2019, and being the planner that I am I already had ideas for what meal plan I was going to get (3 meals a week with 250 bonus dollars a semester that can be spent at the local store) since it's mandatory you get one. Then they removed the 3 meals plan and the next plan up is 12 meals. I visit the college often and spend time there (my girlfriend attends) so I know the food is unhealthy generally or there's the buffet which I have trouble controlling myself at.
I feel as though I would be wasting money if I didn't use the meals and I can't purge everything or it would be noticed. Any advice?
My brother told me to go make myself throw up so I could eat/drink more.
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 155 | GW: 125| BMI: 22.48 |]
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9qfr/my_brother_told_me_to_go_make_myself_throw_up_so/
---
I'm 99% sure he doesn't know I have an ED because I don't see him very often and when I do he's pretty distant. He's a lot older than I am and moved out when I was young, so we're not super close.
It's not something I ever expected to hear him say. I don't think he was accusing me/confronting me... but the way he said it made it sound like something he does a lot? He told me a story about drinking a 60 oz. pitcher of beer, purging it, and then drinking another 60 oz. pitcher of beer immediately after. That raised a major red flag. I'm not sure though. He has/is struggling with mental illness and substance abuse, so him having a disordered relationship with food is definitely possible. What do I even do at this point? Should I even be worried or am I overthinking?
[Goal] I'm exhausted
/u/Aleph0-4 [157 cm | 42 kg | BMI 17.68 | 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:30:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9ofh/im_exhausted/
---
I will be kind to myself this week. I'm not gonna binge and purge. I'm gonna tell myself everyday that I deserve to eat because I can't physically handle the violence I'm inflicting on my own body anymore.
A weird pang
/u/drippycup
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:15:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9kij/a_weird_pang/
---
So but I had probably the biggest binge I've ever had 2 days ago along with a while 12 pack of beer. I still was 112 and am current at 116 with a wet cough I've had a while, I'm probably anemic, but I'm mostly concerned about
The weird pang in my right side that has a dull pain when I'm moving. It only started afterwords. Have you guys experienced this? I'm scared my body is givin out..
[Discussion] What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?
/u/fionalemon
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:05:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9hrc/what_are_you_guys_doing_for_thanksgiving/
---
[Discussion] r/normalnudes ?
/u/bluediner
Created: Sun Nov 4 19:00:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9g97/rnormalnudes/
---
how do you gals/guys/anyone between or outside either feel abt this sub? I just spent the last 20 mins looking through and it just made me feel.... bad. Like I’m 5’2 and and 97 pounds and I barely look thin at all compared to some of these other girls. Idk it just really bummed me out :(
What about all of you? Are you familiar with the sub/how do you feel about it?
About thicc, where did it come from and why its a thing now
/u/mennnaai [5’4/ cw 111 / hw 200 👹/ gw 100🧝🏻♀️]
Created: Sun Nov 4 18:58:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9fnn/about_thicc_where_did_it_come_from_and_why_its_a/
---
Let me start by saying that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to achieve specific ideals of beauty.
If thicc skinny is your thing more power to you I’m not here to judge
#however
I saw a comment saying that fashion nova caters to the “real **Latin**and black bodies”
Which is bullshit.
Some background of why I’m taking the time to post this
My grandmother is Afro Latina and her side of her family is black.
I’m mixed but grew up with latinoamerican standards.
Thicc was something both wanted and frowned upon depending if you where a wife or a mistress.
I’m not joking.
Why?
Because things haven’t actually changed, women that have “curves “ are more sexualised and women that have the traditional standard of beauty are usually received as lighter and happier (according to that study we all saw in the front page and well personal experience for those who get treated nicer at a LW)
**Thicc isn’t a new thing at least not for all of us that grew up in latinoamerica or with Afro background**
But
Nobody ever appreciated “thicc” in affluent circles until rich men decided that their mistresses needed a massive boob job and big lips.
They even made a tv show about it after it entered pop culture (in latinoamerica) it’s called “without tits there’s no paradise” I’ve seen the irl version of this during holidays and it was honestly disgusting .. in less affluent areas [girls would line up for their older more affluent boyfriend to get them a boob job, and I’m saying girls because they where all around 15.](https://youtu.be/G6ylgSdRXro)
All of this happened around 10 years before thicc hit the western media
Now, we all know that when they say they want thicc they mean tiny wasp waist big massive boobs and massive hips.
That’s not possible naturally
In this documentary about beauty standards in Brazil [women stated the following “you could be at the gym for years building muscle to look like that naturally or spend 20 mins in a doctors office”](https://youtu.be/2hvN_IccSM4) I’m paraphrasing but the link is there in case you want to see the full doc.
Why do I point out that they say that?
Because HAVING MASSIVE CURVES TAKES EFFORT OR CASH.
The only people that think Latin /Afro women are magically perfect are the men that fetishise thicc and people that haven’t actually been judged by the standards of that culture or grew up in the culture themselves.
Thicc is not a body type that’s naturally perfect and without traces of actual fat
[thicc has always been made by doctors or hours and years at the gym ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BovBjjaFc3s/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=f2pprb8qttu0)
Now to why it’s so popular right now and what thicc actually is
Thicc is just the new term for *narco beauty*
Narco beauty was popularised by drug cartels and reggeton in the early 90’s in latinoamerica and it spread to Miami during the height of drug cartels.
So why is it popular right now?
now that rap and reggeton are popular the style of girls that they choose in their music videos is the ideal *globally*
Back in the early 2000s rock influenced fashion so the style was skinny heroin chic
Nothing has changed amongst the rich, skinny women are still seen as status symbols and for the richer side of my family and at work skinny rules everything. (We all sae the studies of why skinny is perceived as “perfect”)
Thicc is actually frowned upon depending of where you are
(7:43 [in this video explains it jump to 8:46 for just the explanation) ](https://youtu.be/oAg2Zybtzoc)
^this also includes the “shame” of being thicc in “high society”
My cousins from a young age where pressured to be skinny and if not skinny to get plastic surgery or a “Brazilian butt lift” to fit narco beauty and find a man.
I’ve seen women with CEMENT Injected into their hips to fit some standards that they see in the media
[“before the age of 17 girls get plastic surgery “](https://youtu.be/IotsNOkccVY)
Fashion nova standards of beauty are not better than any other stupid standard and it’s bullshit that it’s ideals are now being pushed towards the new generation.
My generation grew up starved with rock influences but this thicc trend will pass, with or without women wearing butt implants that could potentially kill them just like before with or without women starving themselves.
[Rant/Rave] I’m starting my 4-5 day fast today
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW: 116 | GW 100-105 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 18:48:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9cze/im_starting_my_45_day_fast_today/
---
My longest is three days and it wasn’t too hard. I wanna lose as much as possible before I go home. What are your experiences with 4+ day fasts. Also I’m gonna try to plan all my meals at home ahead of time.
[Rant/Rave] Water weight fucking sucks
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 18:24:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u96ng/water_weight_fucking_sucks/
---
Can I also just say screw birthdays? I’ve had two binge weekends in a row now. In between both I’ve hit a new goal weight only to sabotage it. I hate losing control.
I read somewhere on here that it takes 3 days for weight to return back to normal after a binge. I don’t want to wait three days, I want it to go back down now! (🎵 Don’t care how, I want it now! 🎵).
The smart part of my brain knows it’ll go down. The anorexic part screams that I’m a failure. It’s bad enough that I abuse laxatives in situations like these.
Sigh.
DuoLingo calling me out.
/u/SquirrelMcPants
Created: Sun Nov 4 18:22:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u963a/duolingo_calling_me_out/
---
https://i.redd.it/k4ep4rvgzew11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] “ProED communities are dangerous”, they said. “They glamorize eating disorders.”
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 18:08:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u929y/proed_communities_are_dangerous_they_said_they/
---
yeah right fucking bullshit because half of these posts are marked tmi and the other half just doesn’t care.
speaking of which, the lax just kicked in so I ran across the house and didn’t quite make it and almost shit on my poor innocent cat who just chilling on the floor minding her own business, and all yall here know what I’m talking about rn 👀 so yeah, thanks for supporting me in all my glamour 🙈 have a good nights, folks
bloat after binge
/u/kahmanee [6’2” | 180 | 23.1 | 80+ lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Nov 4 18:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u9236/bloat_after_binge/
---
how do you guys deal with it?? lmao I feel so disgusting and my clothes feel so uncomfortable and then part of me is thinking “hmmmmm is it really bloat or did you get super fat in a couple of days so that’s why your clothes feel like that?? hmmmm”
[Rant/Rave] Every photo taken of me triggers my body dysmorphia
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:59:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8zxx/every_photo_taken_of_me_triggers_my_body/
---
I don’t think I’m ever going to have photos of me taken for the rest of my life because I just look so bad in every photo. My mom took a photo of me today and I looked so ugly and my body looked so weird. I just wanted to throw up and cry.
Went to Trader Joe’s with my significant others and I don’t want to pig out AT ALL!
/u/TiddyMcGee
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:43:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8vrz/went_to_trader_joes_with_my_significant_others/
---
Usually when we go I want to eat literally everything we got but this time my hunger is CONTROLLED!!
[Other] buying a scale tomorrow
/u/UsualLetter [5’0 | ?? | ?? | 40LBS | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:36:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8ty4/buying_a_scale_tomorrow/
---
here we go again.
Whadup I'm 25 and doing dumb things with my life
/u/curvylucifer [5'2 | F | drowning in coffee]
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:32:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8snw/whadup_im_25_and_doing_dumb_things_with_my_life/
---
Heyo might delete later but I just got home from a bar in which I endorsed two 20oz beers into my mouth and promptly went to the bathroom to purge just cause I've been lonely and bored.
My life is super glamorous. Anyone else enjoying their Sunday night?
ABC Diet
/u/kylemonet
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:31:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8sl1/abc_diet/
---
I’m thinking of starting the ABC diet. Not too far from normal. But I binged tonight and I tried making myself throw up but felt too guilty to follow through. Does anyone have any success stories w the ABC diet? Is it effective?
[Rant/Rave] I wish i could stop: a poem
/u/dollydomer [5'6 | 107.8|GW 100 |F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8pwb/i_wish_i_could_stop_a_poem/
---
i wish i could stop
it hurts
but it hurts a little less
than saying yes
giving in
to the emotionless brain
who craves emotion
but my head
my nonexistent head
refuses
the feeling
of a skinny and lifeless cloud
on a windy day
is what my head craves
pain and regret and disgust
is what this brain craves
what i want
is to disappear
and to be sick
but to have everything i had before
and then some
choosing between life and death
we chose death
because what else can we chose
eating disorders are so weird. and hard to understand, even if you are living it.
my head wants to be skinny and to just starve and disappear. my head finds gratitude in being sick
my brain want to work. it wants to feel the emotions everyone does and what i did before. it wants to be efficient at what it does and help me
but i want both. i want to be myself and to be smart and have emotions and just be a fucking human being but i also want to be sick. and skinny. faint. i want it all. and it doesn’t make sense because i can’t have them both. but i chose one. because even tho i know the consequences, i am addicted
Halp! Stuck in a restricting/binging cycle.
/u/troll_beast
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:18:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8oxz/halp_stuck_in_a_restrictingbinging_cycle/
---
So i was doing really well restricting for a few months and lost about 30lbs. Then we moved. I was like oh, I’ll go back to it when I get settled...didn’t happen. I’m now stuck in this maybe eating once a day, but then completely binging at night. I don’t feel like I deserve to eat during the day, and then before bed I start and I can’t stop. I don’t WANT to. But I keep eating and eating and eating until it hurts and the whole time I’m telling myself to stop, you don’t this, yet I can’t physically stop eating. And I can’t make myself vomit(my body is against me and will try so hard not to puke that it comes out my nose). How can I stop this?
[Discussion] weirdest thing you’ve eaten in public?
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:17:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8op6/weirdest_thing_youve_eaten_in_public/
---
i definitely just ate a bowl of lettuce with mustard, salt, and pepper in my school’s dining hall. i don’t know if anyone was paying attention to what i was eating but i kinda don’t care lmao. i bring my food scale with me and weigh stuff with people around as well. i care what people think of me but apparently not enough to hide the fact that i’m an Insane Person in public spaces smh. does anyone else do anything like this??
[Help] Looking for advice/tips :)
/u/notyourpeach
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:15:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8o2x/looking_for_advicetips/
---
Hey y’all! I’m over the edge bc I’m sure I’ve gained A LOT of weight this long weekend (I don’t even want to get on the scale), and I was wondering if you beautiful souls can give me tips and advice on how to control yourself while wanting to lose weight and how you avoid eating or thinking about it. Anything is very welcomed :)
I hope you’re having a great day/night depending wherever you are!!
[Discussion] I have an odd build, and I dont know what to think of my wrists
/u/ManWithTheHands
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:12:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8n1w/i_have_an_odd_build_and_i_dont_know_what_to_think/
---
https://i.redd.it/r43yw5qvmew11.jpg
[Other] Anyone interested in a fitbit group?
/u/smalldicksarein [5'2" F | CW 125 | GW 105]
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:09:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8maz/anyone_interested_in_a_fitbit_group/
---
you can make groups and do steps and challenges together... sometimes i need motivation to reach my steps goal for that day.
​
if anyones interested let me know and i can make a group :)
I don’t know what made today different, but I’m on track to finish a 36-hour fast for the first time.
/u/standingbymountains
Created: Sun Nov 4 17:04:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8kp4/i_dont_know_what_made_today_different_but_im_on/
---
I know it’s not a lot. But as someone who binged their way through the last month, I’m having a hard time accepting that I genuinely didn’t eat today. Food controls so much of my life. This morning I made the choice to just not eat today, and I haven’t. For me, this is huge.
I could see myself getting addicted to this 100% fasting. I’m hungry, but I for once feel like I can treat it like a headache, and just ignore it. It’s not controlling me. I even got a small wave of mental clarity earlier. I just want to be good at something, so it feels nice to be good at this.
Scheduled an appt with my psychiatrist after lying to her for months and then ghosting her
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | HW: 160lbs | CW: 157 | GW: 115]
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8j5z/scheduled_an_appt_with_my_psychiatrist_after/
---
Sorry for the long title.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist at my uni since spring 2017 first for depression & anxiety, but then later it grew to my disordered eating. I was put on Celexa, which was AMAZING but really fucked with my sleep, so she changed it to Prozac and Wellbutrin, which caused me to feel nothing and fill that nothing with food. So I cold turkey'd my meds and ghosted her a couple months ago.
Before then, I lied to her about everything. About how depressed I actually was, how suicidal, that I self harm. When my disordered eating was brought up I played it off like I had no idea what purging/fasting was. I told her I would binge to the point of puking unintentionally (lies) and that I accidentally wouldn't eat much for days after bc I felt gross (also lies). I was just really scared of her ratting me out and putting me in the psych ward and making me leave school.
Since I've stopped seeing her I gained 30 lbs and while my depression/anxiety were good for a while, everything's back stronger than ever. I was so lost and scared that I emailed her for an appointment.
I just really need some help, what do I tell her? I really want to come clean and get the help I need, without being hauled off to the psych ward. I just want to control my bingeing and I want to stop thinking about food and my weight all day every day. I just want to stop being depressed and act like a normal fucking human being. I just don't know what to do.
[Discussion] DAE monitor friends or family to be sure they are healthy and eating right all while you starve yourself?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:57:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8ira/dae_monitor_friends_or_family_to_be_sure_they_are/
---
I was mentally cataloging what I’ve eaten today and then my inner monologue literally went like this:
“wait, did (insert SO’s name) eat today? Let’s see, he had breakfast, some snacks... but he missed lunch. That’s bad. Why did he miss lunch? Oh, he drank one of my Monsters today, that’s probably why.... Well as long as he doesn’t make a habit of it... I’ll cook dinner to be sure he makes up for it”
What did i have today? 10 baby carrot sticks, a celery stalk, and 2 monsters....
Anyone else relate?
[Other] Watching overweight mukbangers to distract from hunger
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:44:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8fal/watching_overweight_mukbangers_to_distract_from/
---
For months I was super fascinated with Trisha Paytas mukbangs and never really thought on why until I realized I only watched her when I got hungry? It’s messed up and unhealthy I know but when she speaks with her mouthful, eats huge portions and smacks? It’s a big hunger turn off.
Now besides her, I also watch [Amberlynn Reid’s](https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCW5ncBWqvyyUYo1evh1iFCA) and [Nick Avocado](https://m.youtube.com/user/NikocadoAvocado) (he is worse than Trisha, intentionally so but still.)
I don’t know if anyone else does this but it really helps me to not over eat! I get disgusted. Not in the sense that “ugh big people eating? Disgusting!” But more like “all of these people eat in really disgusting ways and lack manners and they happen to be fat/obese! I should tred carefully ”
I also watch them while I work out. Now that I’ve typed it out it is really strange to do so but ya know, I’m sick.
What do you do to avoid binging/eating?
[Discussion] Had a “cheat day.” 10/10, less damage than a binge day.
/u/MultigrainRiceCakes
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:43:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8f3j/had_a_cheat_day_1010_less_damage_than_a_binge_day/
---
I’ve gone from 140 pounds to 95 pounds. I’ve never had a cheat day. Sure, I’ve had binge days, but never a day where I would let myself have what I want without feeling completely awful. I was planning on waiting until I hit the 80s, but my weight has been stalling between 94 and 96, so I figured I’d just have one today. I had been low restricting for the past two and a half weeks and felt like death, so the timing wasn’t awful.
I had...
Blueberry pancakes at IHOP
Three donuts
A veggie burger from BK (minus the mayo)
2 chocolate chip Poptarts
1 king-sized Reese’s pack
(Plus an assortment of various snacks at my house).
I ended the day at 3600 calories which gives me a decent surplus, but is definitely better than the 6500 calories I’d normally hit if I binged.
I guess it was a bit like a binge since I’m well-beyond the point of being comfortably full, but at least I ate what I’ve been craving. I’d normally just start my binges off with damage control foods, and would never actually have what I crave (yet still end up consuming more calories). I don’t know how often I’ll do these, but I feel like I managed to “hit the spot” and still got away with a little deficit over the last four-five days.
I’ll probably fast or low-restrict tomorrow. I’m just going to trust good-ol’ CICO and won’t weigh myself for a bit.
Sorry this is a long-winded post. I guess it’s just a little anecdote that may be helpful for someone.
Told my boyfriend I’m starving myself today.
/u/CakeandAss
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:41:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8ekm/told_my_boyfriend_im_starving_myself_today/
---
I told him that I’m only allowed to eat a steak salad for dinner today and he said “yea that will be good”.
But I don’t think he realized what he said cause he was on the phone the entire conversation.
But thanks babe, for the encouragement.
[Rant/Rave] Had a full on binge week and I feel so fucking gross
/u/Serenescence [5'8 | CW 115~ | GW 100 | 19F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:38:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u8dht/had_a_full_on_binge_week_and_i_feel_so_fucking/
---
Thanks genetics, for COVERING my legs in cellulite since I was 12, even tho I’m skinny for my height. I cannot ever go bare legged outside of my room because my legs are just so fucking repulsing.
And here I am, at midnight, eating a share size bag of wispa bites in my bed alone after a week of binging on junk food every day.
I should CARE enough about my gross legs to just restrict all the time. But once I’m in that cycle of binging it’s like I lose it all and all I can think about is stuffing my face.
Why can’t I be in control.
[Goal] My watch is officially too big for my wrist so I have to wear it on my ankle lol
/u/hamaesa [5'5|cw 105|gw 97|lw 87|F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:23:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u899e/my_watch_is_officially_too_big_for_my_wrist_so_i/
---
https://i.redd.it/15b8qhr5eew11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I'll show you. I'll show aaaaaall of you...
/u/countdowntocontrol
Created: Sun Nov 4 16:14:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u86u8/ill_show_you_ill_show_aaaaaall_of_you/
---
When I relapsed real hard back in July, I did it because I'd been hurt, so badly, so many times. I'd been beaten down so many times and I just couldn't take it anymore. I figured if I was small, if I was frail, if I looked sick, and weak, and low, nobody would dare beat on me anymore. I lost a ton of weight really, really fast, and here I am. I'm small. I'm sick all the time. But it's not enough. I need to do more. They don't get it yet, but they will. I'll show them. I'll fucking show them.
tips on getting your nutrients in while eating not much besides vegetables?
/u/hazelnut___ [5'9 | SW:158 | CW:151 | GW:135 | f22]
Created: Sun Nov 4 15:57:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u81tz/tips_on_getting_your_nutrients_in_while_eating/
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I've gotten into a bit of a groove of not eating until after 3pm and stopping around 8pm. In that time I try to only eat vegetable or eggs. I like this because I can sometimes eat a good amount of veggies and feel full but I'm reading more into veggie based diets and worried about the effects of not getting enough nutrients. Does anyone have any tips or a routine of getting things your body needs without eating too much extra food?
It was like I looked in a fun house mirror
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Sun Nov 4 15:54:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u80xp/it_was_like_i_looked_in_a_fun_house_mirror/
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For the past two weeks I’ve been staying with my bf (we’re long distance and getting to see him and p much live together for nearly two weeks was the best thing in the whole world) buuuut that meant eating normally, and usually unhealthy student diet crappy foods lmao. I’ve been feeling a little crappy but my bf is an angel and constantly calls and actually makes me feel beautiful (which is a feat bc I view myself as a fucking goblin lmao if anyone watched chilling adventures of sabrina I p much view myself as bitibap lmao) so I wasn’t feeling great about myself but I wasn’t feeling completely awful and I was trying to keep shitty ED thoughts at bay.
Bc I was in a different part of the U.K. (different countries lmao fun plane rides) they had primark - my cities primark has been closed for ages rip (this also probably gives away what part of the U.K. im in lmao I dont care) bUt his city had one! And I had a voucher! Gonna buy some shiiiiiiiit. So I went in and tried a jumper and was feeling good - fitted an XS and it was cute and cozy. Then tried on some leggings and OH MY FUCKING GOD. My legs were horrific and bumpy and disgusting and I felt like my legs had bulbous rumours of fat bursting out of them. My bum is always something I’ve liked but in those leggings and that mirror it looked atrocious and like an obese 50 y/o not a 115lb 18 y/o. Fuck feeling horrific and now I’m home again my ED thoughts are in full force yeet. Promised my friend I’d meet up with her for a burger on Wednesday so I’m giving myself til then to have a last hurrah binge and then back on my restricting shit. Gonna be at least 110 by Christmas if not 105.
[Help] how do i do well in school
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 135 | GW 125]
Created: Sun Nov 4 15:52:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u80b7/how_do_i_do_well_in_school/
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as it says in the title, how do i focus and study while heavily restricting. I feel absolutely desperate to get rid of them fast but i'm also taking 6 fairly difficult classes and have exams basically every week at this point.. plus finals are coming up.
​
maybe this makes me less "valid" but i really think i can be normal (if not in my thoughts then at least in my actual eating) once i hit my bmi 20 gw. focus my perfectionism & craziness into building muscle or something. it's so close only 10 pounds and i want them off soon because i'll have time to work out over christmas break
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like maybe i do have to focus on school for now but is there a way i can have both???
[Discussion] does anyone else get triggered by childhood/younger pictures 😭
/u/yikesmonster505
Created: Sun Nov 4 15:48:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7zda/does_anyone_else_get_triggered_by/
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This is...literally ridiculous, but I found a picture of me in like, the seventh grade, and my body. looked. BANGIN. I was the same height as now, and around 100 lbs. I distinctly remember eating whatever I wanted and still wearing a size 0/00. Bro my arms and legs were SO long and skinny. If only i grew a few more inches too 😪
I told my mom about my ED and now I have a therapy appointment on Monday
/u/spacejam_enthusiast [5'2" | CW:98lb | GW: 90lb | SW:113lb| BMI: 17.9]
Created: Sun Nov 4 15:46:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7ypl/i_told_my_mom_about_my_ed_and_now_i_have_a/
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So I had a moment of clarity that I'm not doing great and maybe 300 cal a day isnt healthy, so I basically broke down and told my mom everything and she was so amazing about it and we booked a therapy appointment tomorrow.
The problem is now I dont want to recover and I'm still trying to lose 8 more pounds but now my mom is bringing me food and I know shes really worried. I wish I just hadn't told her because nothing has changed and how shes worried about me. Ughhh
First time posting. Pretty sure I have some form of ED
/u/uhhmayenduhcruce
Created: Sun Nov 4 15:40:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7x0v/first_time_posting_pretty_sure_i_have_some_form/
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I’ve always been obsessed with my weight. I think to make up for my lack of attraction in the face. Lately it’s been very very bad.
This entire week I’ve eaten, but I know it hasn’t been enough. Yesterday morning I was 106 pounds and was SO HAPPY. I’m usually 110. I HATE being 110-anything over. I decided I’d treat myself to some food. But I couldn’t stop eating all fucking day. Bread and hummus and pie and beer. I couldn’t sleep last night because I knew I had gained the weight back. Sure enough this morning I was 110 again. I feel defeated and stupid and depressed.
I don’t know who to talk to because I feel like they’ll just tell me I have a problem and to get help, but I don’t want it.
Sorry for rant.
[Help] Anyone ever been “caught” with this reddit account? Ramble ahead...
/u/doubledigitsplease
Created: Sun Nov 4 15:21:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7r8p/anyone_ever_been_caught_with_this_reddit_account/
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Title kinda says it....
A friend of mine was looking over my shoulder while I was on this account and I’m pretty sure he saw this sub/my username, which are both dead giveaways. This also definitely fueled my fire if he did see it, because the only thing I’d hate more than someone else knowing about this, is also not being skinny and having an account like this (I’m going to hell for that last part....)
Anyway, if this has happened to anyone else, did you explain? Were you embarrassed/did you care? What was the reaction?
[Rant/Rave] i can’t stop crying and restricting.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:54:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7j8k/i_cant_stop_crying_and_restricting/
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my life is going to shit and the only way i can deal with it is by restricting. i feel so hopeless.
[Other] how i know when it is going to get bad again
/u/dollydomer [5'6 | 107.8|GW 100 |F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:48:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7hcx/how_i_know_when_it_is_going_to_get_bad_again/
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might just be me, might be others too. hope this helps someone maybe?
stages of getting bad:
1. start to listen to body and eat just until satisfied. little snacks. weighing once a week
“i can lose weight and be healthy. i look better when i eat”
2. still intuitive eating, no snacks, weigh in a couple times a week
“weighing in more won’t hurt me, and i don’t have to eat snacks if i eat when i’m hungry and stop when i’m full at meals”
3. lots of coffee, fill on low cal food first. start taking out large food groups such as meat
“maybe i will eat a little less and lose a little more if i drink coffee, i won’t lose my appetite completely” “i am still eating intuitively if i eat the low cal foods first, just less cals in the long run”
4. pretty orthorexic. eating tons of superfoods, cut out more large food groups such as gluten “gluten makes me bloated, so i should stop eating that and i will feel better. i will have more energy if i eat superfoods only”
5. setting a specific time of what i should eat at what times. example: carbs only in morning, 3 cups of water right as i wake up and before any food; 1 cup plain, one cup lemon and ACV, and one tea.
“the water in the morning will make me full and my body won’t hold onto water weight because of the carbs””i only need energy from carbs in the morning, after that i will have sustained energy from all the other food”
6. not taking vitamins, doing poorly on tests/work. poor sleep schedule.
“if i go to bed with food in my tummy, i will wake up bloated.”
7. eating calorie dense food to keep stomach small. sleep/work through lunch, idolize faint feeling
“skipping a meal won’t hurt me, i am not depriving myself of food, i just need to work/i am tired””i can eat later”
8. smaller meals, hunger cues gone, not enough energy to get through the day
“i cannot eat if i am not hungry, because i will feel uncomfortable”
9. OMAD, water loading
“small people always feel weak”
10. restrict water
“water i making me bloated throughout the day”
11. eating as little calories as possible, denser food to keep tummy small
“i am addicted to starvation, i love feeling empty”
What distracts you from thinking about food?
/u/DramaticDoubt5
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:46:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7gxq/what_distracts_you_from_thinking_about_food/
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It's literally all I can think about. If it wasn't on my mind 24/7, I would never binge and I'd weight much less than I do now. What stops you from thinking about food?
[Help] I just can't get myself out of this binge phase and I feel sooo hopeless :'(
/u/ballerina_inprogress [5'5"|CW:114.2|HW:165|GW:98|-53 lbs|27F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:46:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7gt9/i_just_cant_get_myself_out_of_this_binge_phase/
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I don't know what to do and I'm terrified that I'm going to gain back all 50 lbs of my binge weight :( A week or so ago I was down to 110 lbs but I binged soo much this week and now I'm up to 114.2. I feel like this is going to be a trend, but I know that its not logical to just say that because I binged for a week that I am destined to gain back 50 lbs. I just can't find the motivation in me to turn this around and I just feel so blah/meh/numb. I just want to eat and sleep and do nothing because I feel like its hopeless and I will never reach my gw. But like, its 4.2 lbs... in the grand scheme of things and how much weight I've already lost thats not that much? I just don't know what to do going forward from here. Was trying to stick to 800 cals daily since I had been eating that or less this past month, and thought that 800 might be better to prevent binges, but I just want to be at my GW NOW so that I can eat at maintenance. Idk exactly what the point of this post is, but I just don't what to do :'(
My body hates me
/u/Willow2653
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:44:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7g31/my_body_hates_me/
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I don't know why but over the last couple of years I've become increasingly intolerant to gluten and all my favourite foods are making me so sick :(
Silver lining is I'm too sick to eat today I guess?
Random an stupid, but...
/u/CompetitionEater
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:33:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7cww/random_an_stupid_but/
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Has anyone seen My Hero Acadamia? Because I just casually had the thought that skinny All Might was lowkey body goals. 'Nuff said.
[Rant/Rave] Welp... I just got slapped in the face with the difference between normal brain and ED brain....
/u/mmblarg
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:24:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u7a63/welp_i_just_got_slapped_in_the_face_with_the/
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So I toe a fine line between “I’m fine, I’m normal” and “ok, yeah, that’s not normal, but I can stop whenever I want to... I just don’t want to right now...” but either way I feel rather self-aware and technically in control. Welp, just had that sense of normalcy ripped away with a single comment.
Background, I love dramatic high-contrast B&W photos. I took a selfie that accentuated my cheekbones and protruding tendons in my neck. Then tweaked a few setting to really highlight freckles and shadows and when I was done I thought “beautiful! I just need to be thinner and I’d be perfect!” I honestly thought anyone would praise it and think “what a striking photo!”
So I told my mom, and this is the reaction verbatim:
Me: “In other news, i totally just took a selfie and turned it into a sad dramatic National Geographic photo hahahah” *sends photo*
Mom: “Oh, that's so gross. So street addict gross. Did you do that with an app?”
I’m stuck between wanting to cry and realizing my idea of beauty is sickly looking...
Also, be nice to my mom haha. I saved face by turning into a joke and agreeing with her... she’s extremely loving and is used to seeing pictures of her chubby cheeked “baby girl” smiling ear to ear with a giant fat round face... she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings
[Discussion] How to deal with this?
/u/allndrrose
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:22:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u79dt/how_to_deal_with_this/
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Today someone asked me “how does it feel to see all these skinny girls while you’re fat and disgusting” and told me i was an awful person for being anorexic. The logical part of me knows I’m not fat and disgusting but every other part of me agrees with this guy and I’m unsure of how to deal with this.
[Discussion] I love being cold
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 131.2 lbs | -49 lbs | F22]
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:19:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u78bh/i_love_being_cold/
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I literally love when my hands are ice cold. It fuels me. It means I’m doing a good job. When my toes are freezing..I get exited because it means I’m starving.. does anyone else relate?
Relapse or illness?
/u/suzimimi
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:18:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u77x0/relapse_or_illness/
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Hi. I'm not really sure where to take this so I'm bringing it here.
I have a history of anorexia (weight restored in 2016), and as a result of a new medication, I rapidly gained about 45 pounds. Unfortunately, this medication is the only thing that allows me to live a normal life. There is no alternative.
I was prescribed vyvanse to ameliorate the side effects of my meds. In the beginning, weight loss was extremely slow, but steady.
In the last few weeks, my appetite is gone. I have no interest in food, and I become full after very small quantities. Sometimes, I feel voraciously hungry, but when I make food, I can't stand the thought of eating it. I'm losing weight a lot faster now, and I'm freaked out. My eating disorder destroyed my life, and it was so hard to recover.
I'm torn because I want to just let this happen and keep losing weight. I don't want to go back to treatment ever again, and I don't particularly want to relapse. I just don't know why this is happening so suddenly. If it was the vyvanse, wouldn't this have started months ago when I began the medication?
I think it's worth noting that this issue extends to fluids as well, and I have to force water down sometimes. Last night, I spit out a mouthful of water because I thought I would vomit if I swallowed it.
I'm not sure if this is some sort of health issue or a mixed blessing. Should I be forcing myself to eat more? Should I only eat when hungry (i.e. almost never)?
I guess my biggest fear is that this is just anorexia in disguise. I've been so stressed and unhappy lately (broke up with my partner, applying to grad schools, midterms, GRE), and I know I'm vulnerable to relapse. But this isn't something that I'm doing on purpose or on a conscious level.
Any insights or advice would be welcomed
Two plating = time to body comment
/u/Makoschar
Created: Sun Nov 4 14:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u77sq/two_plating_time_to_body_comment/
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I was at an event this weekend for one of the sports known for eating disorders (ex. Figure skating) and I was carrying two plates. One was a gluten free plate loaded with food (they served it for me because GF) and another plate I had filled with vegetables because I didn’t know they had a separate GF plate lol. I guess my two plating was too much for one lady since after I walked by she commented, “how can she eat so much and be so tiny”? I mean thanks but also not thanks because I don’t like people calling me out. Also she said it at a group table with a bunch of 9-14 year old girls. Seriously? Great job lady.
[Other] Yaasss queen 👑
/u/leviosaahh [5'8 | CW 148 D: | GW 111 | -26 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 13:52:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6zue/yaasss_queen/
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https://i.redd.it/f8gml0n8ndw11.jpg
I'm so gross
/u/MommyInTheMoshPit
Created: Sun Nov 4 13:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6v98/im_so_gross/
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So my 4yo has a little virus. I was cleaning up the bathroom after he got sick today and I realized something about myself. Although I can recognize the smell of vomit as "a bad smell", it's a smell that doesn't really bother me. It doesn't make me feel nauseated.
Howwvee. Smells that *do* make me feel nauseated? Sour cream, blue cheese, yogurt, milk, mayonnaise, mushrooms, seafood.
Apparently you know you're a bulimic when... the smell of mayonnaise sickens you more than the smell of vomit.
Metabolism??
/u/sadbean17 [158 | 57.8kg | 24 | 18F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 13:29:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6soh/metabolism/
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Can't flair, on mobile. Please flair as help?
So my metabolism has gone and necked itself. At 800 calories I seem to be GAINing weight (although it's probably just water weight/bloat, apparently I gained a whole kg overnight kms). But also after only eating 300-500 calories I still don't seem to lose more than 100-200g. Which is nothing in comparison to when my body would lose 700g with the same amount of calories in the past. Does any one have any advice on how to speed up my metabolism that isn't tea? (I'll still probably try it but I hate the taste)
[Help] [TMI] i think i fucked up??
/u/wibtathrway
Created: Sun Nov 4 13:06:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6lo7/tmi_i_think_i_fucked_up/
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i’ve been in a bad binge cycle and have only just started to fix it. i ate over maintenance friday and took a 25mg ex-lax yesterday morning because i didn’t purge. (note: i’m not the type who abuses laxatives as a form of purging because i think it’ll get rid of calories, i just wanted to get rid of the food as quick as possible to make myself feel better emotionally i guess? unhealthy but i’m not deluding myself into thinking it’s a real weight loss aid, and i’m not taking more than one a day). yesterday evening i was feeling okay, lax kicked in as i expected it to that night, didn’t binge or anything. for some stupid reason i took another this morning for good measure i guess?? it’s not supposed to kick in for a good few hours but i’m still cramping up and basically having liquid BMs and now i’m seriously regretting the one i took this morning. i have classes tomorrow and i hope to god they’re not still working by then, i’m chugging a propel and water to try and keep my electrolytes up but i don’t know what to do and i’m preparing for the hell that tonight will bring
Sometimes purging is the most satisfying feeling i experience all day
/u/ButtonyCakewalk
Created: Sun Nov 4 13:05:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6li6/sometimes_purging_is_the_most_satisfying_feeling/
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It's better than actually eating, tbh
i'm back at my lowest weight from the worst part of my ed (personal and rambly)
/u/wednesdayschild_ [5'2" | 128 | 24.25 | -32 | f20]
Created: Sun Nov 4 13:04:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6l48/im_back_at_my_lowest_weight_from_the_worst_part/
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people always say that history repeats itself. it's human nature to seek out patterns and favor repetition. there's something comforting about doing something over and over, but everyone knows the definition of insanity.
six years ago i was neck deep in both my eating disorder and my denial about my eating disorder. i reached my lowest weight of 128 pounds during the last week of october/first week of november. i felt cold and tired and sick all the time. i would get so hungry and irritable that i'd lash out at my friends and family. i passed out a couple of times. i felt like the worst part was that i wasn't even underweight. i felt so invalidated--invisible, almost. i remember googling "do i have an eating disorder" a few months prior, already knowing that the answer was a resounding, unrepentant yes.
i relapsed into ed behaviors back in february, but breaking up with my long term boyfriend really kicked my ed into high gear and sent me into (initially unintentional) restriction mode. last month i realized just how much weight i'd lost already and it only made things worse. hearing people tell me that i'd lost weight and looked good became addicting. i set a goal for myself: to be back at my lw by this exact time, by any means necessary.
this morning, i stood in front of my scale on the verge of an anxiety attack for a good minute. i took a deep breath, stepped on, and saw what i've been waiting for. back at my lowest weight, almost exactly six years later to the day. i did it. i fucking did it.
this is the reward i get for feeling cold and tired and sick all the time; getting so hungry and irritable i lash out at my friends and family; all the time spent suppressing my appetite with nicotine, caffeine, and zero calorie drinks; the huge, ghastly bruises on my legs because of my iron deficiency; lying all the time about what i've eaten and when; constantly feeling depressed and isolated and invisible. this is what i've won because of my eating disorder taking over my life once again.
i stepped off the scale, looked in the mirror, and felt nothing.
I was 119.8lbs this morning.
/u/bhbubeepy [5'3" | CW: 122.6lbs | GW: 110 | 17F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 13:03:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6koe/i_was_1198lbs_this_morning/
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I can't believe it, honestly. I've never been overweight but I've never been skinny. I've wanted to lose weight my entire life and now I *am.* I have under 10lbs to go to my goal weight and fuck it feels good.
A week ago, I saw my favorite artist perform and I briefly got to meet him afterwards. He's my biggest inspiration and I can't even describe how much I love and look up to him, and that morning, I had hit 120.4 for the first time. It's fucked up but afterwards I was so happy that I had lost weight before meeting him, when he saw me, he didn't see some random chubby fan. I actually looked great and had cool hair and was wearing something I never would have worn 16lbs ago. It's dumb because I was still one of hundreds of people there and I doubt I was even noticed in the first place lol. But I don't care. I feel so much happier about my body than I ever have.
I can see the end in sight and it feels insane. I'm now (just barely) under my first GW and I'm coincidentally at my first goal measurements, too. I've lost 4 inches from each measurement, even my thighs which were a huge insecurity. I took photos wearing clothes I grew out of in middle school so I could sell them on depop and my body actually looked good enough in them for me to confidently share them.
Idk the point of this really, I can't share this anywhere else. You know the deal. I guess I just don't have much to rave about most of the time so when I get in a mood like this I just have to hahah.
I'm done purging
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Sun Nov 4 12:55:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6i4v/im_done_purging/
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I'm done, I'm finally going to break the binge/purge cycle I've been stuck in. I've been purging at least 3 times a day, my acne is out of control and not just on my face. People keep asking if I'm sick and saying I always look like I'm about to cry. I feel like every time I purge I'm going to die and I get so sad about it for my moms sake that I've started writing a note for my mom when it happens. My heart rate is consistently above 90 and has gotten up to 150 when I was just sitting. My throat hurts, my chest hurts, my stomach hurts. I get to shaking uncontrollably, I look like a drug addict. I've spent so much money and I've gained about 10lbs. I'm done with this, I'm not doing it anymore. I've only been in this cycle for a couple weeks but I'm already done, I can't do it anymore. Starting today I'm not binging, I won't purge, I'm going to slowly lower my calorie intake back to restriction.
Alcohol interactions with Bronkaid?
/u/kaboomx
Created: Sun Nov 4 12:30:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6a03/alcohol_interactions_with_bronkaid/
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A quick google search led me to this subreddit.
I'm going on vacation on Tuesday and have been drinking a lot of wine due to stress.
I take bronkaid in the morning as an appetite suppressant.
I hope to take it with me on vacation.
Have any of you all noticed any negative interactions with alcohol that I should watch out for?
[Discussion] My dad has BED and my mom is anorexic but binges often (parents supporting ed?)
/u/spoiltmillk
Created: Sun Nov 4 12:23:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u684y/my_dad_has_bed_and_my_mom_is_anorexic_but_binges/
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This has been a thing all of my life. My dad has always been around 430lbs and my mom 180 currently but about 130 at her lowest. She isn’t nervosa but she openly (and I watched growing up) starves herself for days before eating. She always ate the worst of things so I am not surprised she never got to a low weight.
Moving on, for years when I was fatter my dad would comment meanly on things I ate. “That’s why you’re fat now.” “Eating again? Wow.” Years later after I’ve lost weight he tells me he did that he did it so that I wouldn’t end up like him. I get that but he could have just been a better role model. He still has not “recovered” to this day.
My mom on the other hand is weirdly supportive yet jealous. I told her how healthy I started after moving out (this was after I had “recovered” from Bulimia) and I worked out more and ate so much less and she immediately went on to how she wanted to do something like that and I quickly told her that it was unhealthy and that she binges too much to do it and she should focus on lowering her binge eating first and we had a small conversation on that.
Anyway, my parents don’t understand nor do they understand the concept of recovery and have always inspired me to eat less
Are there others in a similar situation?
[Discussion] Finally feel back in control
/u/its_freaking_bats [5'7" | CW 125 | BMI 19.6 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 12:14:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u6579/finally_feel_back_in_control/
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I got down to 124 in July and I was ecstatic; my GW was 115. But then since July I have been binging at least once a week and ruining my progress. I ended up gaining 10 pounds since July which I know is not a lot but it still sucks.
This week I think I finally broke the cycle and I now feel like I’m back in control of my eating. I haven’t binged in 9 days (I haven’t gone more than 7 days since July). I admit I am still having intense cravings all day every day and sometimes during the day they get so strong that I get on the bus and travel to the store where I intend on buying junk food. But every single time I have ended up buying something non food related (usually makeup) as a reward and going back home. Then I get off the bus early and walk the rest of the way to get some steps in. I’ve lost 2 pounds and I’m proud of myself. I keep reminding myself how crap I will feel if I give in.
I am also travelling home in a month for holidays from school and I want to lose the weight for when I see my SO and my family. Hoping I can keep it up.
[Help] Anyone have any tips to overcome stress eating? I run my own business, and find myself running for food any time something goes wrong (big or small)
/u/clara1992 [5'2" | CW 118.3lbs | GW 101 | - 12lbs | 24F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 12:05:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u629h/anyone_have_any_tips_to_overcome_stress_eating_i/
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[Help] Getting rid of muscle?
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u60gi/getting_rid_of_muscle/
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Hey dear community,
So I know that a lot of my mass comes from muscle and I'd like to get rid of it. Especially my thighs bulk up very easily and I *just know* that most of the mass in them comes from muscle. When I flex my leg muscles, there's hardly any soft bits I can grab anymore, it's pretty much all hard and sinewy.
So to make them leaner I'm doing stretching exercises and try to stay away from any strenuous exercise as much as possible.
Also I'm wondering about protein intake. Would it help if I would eat protein at a deficit? So less than my RDA? I'm currently watching that I eat at least about 80% of my RDA, mostly with Greek yoghurt and white fleshed fish.
Help anyone?
[Tip] sugar free sweetener recommend! Dutch friend gave this to me💗
/u/BeginningBarnacle [5'4"|117lbs|-19lbs|F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5z9i/sugar_free_sweetener_recommend_dutch_friend_gave/
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https://i.redd.it/1gridikd2dw11.jpg
[Help] Just a little reassurance or advice maybe?
/u/xyd001
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:53:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5yf1/just_a_little_reassurance_or_advice_maybe/
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I’ve posted here before but I’m more of a lurker than anything but very basic backstory about me:
Have been suffering with my ed for god knows how many years now and I’m a heavy restricter. Had my fair share of being trapped in awful b/p cycles and restricting but right now I’m struggling.
Sorry cutting to the chase, I restrict all the time and just now I ate a roast (classic Sunday if your British) and ate a shit ton of cauliflower cheese. Now I don’t think it was a binge but I have no idea and of course I feel fucking awful.
What do you guys class as a binge? I know I do when I inhale and can’t stop at everything and anything but agh Idk sorry slight word vomit.
Size Zero
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:34:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5sls/size_zero/
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It means absolutely nothing. I went to Target for pants since mine were getting too large, gaping, and I grabbed a size two- the waist was ginormous.
I cannot be a size zero, but they fit- the waist was still a little loose but... Jesus. I look exactly the same as when I was a size 4, I know I do- I feel it. Maybe it’s not a huge jump or anything, but:
Someone my size isn’t a size zero. I’m too monstrously large to be, everyone around me is so much smaller, what the hell size could they possibly wear? I know it’s vanity sizing. It’s ridiculous. That’s why it doesn’t mean anything. I wish it did, I wish I could feel a sense of success but I don’t. I just feel numb and annoyed I have to buy more pants because mine stupidly don’t fit anymore. What the fuck.
These jeans I got - I tried on a few styles to be sure - they’re all flukes. Man. Can you guys relate to this?
Who else wishes they could read minds and know what strangers really think of them?
/u/sugafreedreams [18M / 181cm 🏳️🌈 Highest BMI: 30.3 / Current BMI: 16.9]
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:34:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5si5/who_else_wishes_they_could_read_minds_and_know/
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When I'm in public and a person catches my eye for some reason, I always make a mental note of them and their most prominent features based on what they look like. People may catch my eye because I find them attractive, because they differ from the crowd in some way or because I'm envying how skinny they are. Often the same thing happens to me and I catch a stranger staring at me multiple times for no apparent reason. When that happens, I always wonder what's going through their head: does the person find me attractive, are they thinking of my weight or what I'm wearing, are the thoughts positive or negative? Is the stare out of interest, concern or shock?
Nobody actually says everything that they think of someone's looks out loud 100% unfiltered even online, so I would find it super interesting to be able to read minds and actually hear the painfully honest opinions of people who I've never met before. I envy and find so many people attractive without them ever knowing it, so I know that some strangers must also envy and find me attractive too. Or find me ugly, shocking and odd looking.
Do you guys have these kinds of teas where you are? Lemon cake, caramel apple, strawberry cheesecake...they're my heaven [Germany]
/u/Work_In_Regress [5'6"| Don't ask don't tell | GW: 120| UGW: 110 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:32:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5rxs/do_you_guys_have_these_kinds_of_teas_where_you/
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https://imgur.com/a/nMETiwh
[Discussion] Breyers Delight - flavours??
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:32:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5rqt/breyers_delight_flavours/
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https://i.redd.it/kyy1wlj8ycw11.jpg
[Discussion] Trouble posting, editing in a second
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5r4t/trouble_posting_editing_in_a_second/
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https://i.redd.it/tp4vmsmxxcw11.jpg
[Discussion] Breyers Delights
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:28:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5qhp/breyers_delights/
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https://i.redd.it/p7furwhlxcw11.jpg
[Other] Breyers delights - opinions?
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:27:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5q41/breyers_delights_opinions/
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https://i.redd.it/w3r2v9bexcw11.jpg
I am so thirsty, but I have no room left for water
/u/feel4veal
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:26:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5psh/i_am_so_thirsty_but_i_have_no_room_left_for_water/
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I have binged on food throughout the whole day. I’m so thirsty right now, but my stomach feels like it’s about to explode. There’s no space left.
[Rant/Rave] Apparently, restricting turns me into a 70's housewife
/u/rita_rita
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5mmx/apparently_restricting_turns_me_into_a_70s/
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So I have a huge scientific presentation tomorrow which I am very nervous about. There's people from all over the country coming to meet me and I will be presenting our current results and discussing future collaborations, all mediated by me. It's around diner time here and usually I would distract myself by cooking, eating and cleaning the dishes but I am currently fasting, so that's a no-go. I'm very fidgety and to stop freaking out about tomorrow I am turning into a stereotypical 70's housewife: removing calcium deposits from my shower and kitchen sink, changing my bed sheets, using my laser hair-removal machine, doing my eyebrows, and such.
​
​
I found this meal plan generator that lets you set your calories <900 a day and has vegan, paleo, etc options
/u/dearpuppy [F🐄 165cm | GW 42kg | CW 53.4kg]
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:14:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5lio/i_found_this_meal_plan_generator_that_lets_you/
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https://www.eatthismuch.com/diet-plan/900-calorie/
[Discussion] what was your worst purge?
/u/acrsita [Height 5'7| CW 47kg | BMI 16.5| Weight Lost ??| Gender ??]
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:13:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5l5v/what_was_your_worst_purge/
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i’ve definitely had a few which have been like, oh my god.
for example, i was on holiday in a tiny italian village, and the only place i had to purge at that moment in time was in a really, really awful public toilet halfway up a mountain. i got up there asap after my binge, and it was worse than i could’ve imagined. there were no doors. there was no light. soap. running water. toilet paper. the toilets didn’t flush. there were insects crawling everywhere, it was revolting.
i still purged ofc, and maybe the state of the place helped with that lol. i couldn’t clean myself up after it there, so i walked home to do so afterwards, smelling like absolute death and just praying that no one would see me.
another time was when i’d been at my cousins and we’d had pizza for dinner. i ate way too much, and i was very, very stressed about it. their toilet is absolutely shit and doesn’t flush at all, so I knew i couldn’t make that work. there was really nothing i could do to purge at their house, so i suggested me and my cousin go to the park in case i could use a public toilet there.
well, the public toilet there was locked. i was beginning to lose hope, until my cousin said she needed to go to the toilet! she asked me to walk home with her, but as their house was super close i suggested that i’d wait at the park for her while she nipped home.
she must’ve been gone for 10 minutes, max. in that time, i found a bush to throw up in. it was probably about 7pm, so there weren’t many people around, but i definitely wasn’t hidden. i genuinely just puked on the floor, cleaned my face and hands with a napkin and acted like nothing had happened when she returned. so that kinda sucked.
i’ve definitely had worse experiences but i can’t remember them off the top of my head. what about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] My first creepy message from a throw away account
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Sun Nov 4 11:07:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5itr/my_first_creepy_message_from_a_throw_away_account/
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https://i.redd.it/vujrtzhqtcw11.jpg
Meds fixed my binge problem
/u/amooni95
Created: Sun Nov 4 10:59:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5g5t/meds_fixed_my_binge_problem/
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Got prescribed Adderall yesterday and I was warned that I may lose my appetite. I gave my doctor the concerned look but in reality I was beyond happy to hear that! I had taken the medication an hour or so before my lunch break and I'm currently sitting in my car just staring at it with zero interest. Tomorrow, I will be eating something before taking the medication because taking it on an empty stomach was a mistake. Definitely feel a little gaggy. I also got prescribed an anti depressant that is supposed to help with anorexic thoughts and social anxiety. I feel really happy with where I will potentially be in the up coming weeks. This was all prescribed to me by a psychiatrist but I have an appointment with a therapist coming up to really address the root issues with my self confidence. I'm not looking to be medicated long term so therapy is something I look forward to! Anyone else going through something similar? Any tips to stay on the safe side?
family gathering
/u/fruitsaladsthrowaway
Created: Sun Nov 4 10:54:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5ekl/family_gathering/
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i fasted all day for the first time to save up my calories for this family gathering i'm at, but they insisted i ate chocolate cake and i couldnt get around eating wraps :(( im at 900-1000 calories, estimated. i hope there's no dessert. i'll fast all day tomorrow to compensate
[Discussion] I accidentally took a video of my face and caught the exact moment I felt disgusted.
/u/Wander3 [Height: 162cm | CW: 37.4 kg]
Created: Sun Nov 4 10:54:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u5ef0/i_accidentally_took_a_video_of_my_face_and_caught/
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This was such a weird experience.
I had my camera on ( front facing ) to take a video of my ferret. Later I found a video of my face which was weird cause I never take photos of myself let alone videos. I open the video and in that video I look at my phone, see my face, and just this expression of sadness and disgust comes across my face.
I wish I could post it but I’m too self conscious.
I’m not losing weight to look good. I’m losing weight to fucking disappear.
I could never look myself on the mirror as a child. How fucked up is that. If my family wanted to tease me or whatever they’d make me look at myself in the mirror.
[Rant/Rave] Birthdays are the worst
/u/kinlinlin
Created: Sun Nov 4 10:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u56t2/birthdays_are_the_worst/
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I turned 25 on Friday. I am a mess. On mobile, so sorry about formatting.
October was awful, I got caught in a bad b/p cycle that lasted for the last two weeks of the month. I hadn't left the house in a week. And then my fucking birthday rolled around.
Everyone just expects you to be cool with indulging. Popcorn, cake, alcohol, large meals, blah blah blah. Literally nothing that supports any attempt to break a b/p cycle other than the fact that no one leaves you alone for long enough to actually purge.
I managed to hold it together on Friday and even eat a small, healthy meal despite anticipating a food shit storm. I'm actively seeking recovery, and being able to just let myself relax around food for a second was actually a huge relief.
But yesterday. Oh my lanta yesterday.
I went an out-patient orientation session in the afternoon and didn't eat anything before hand due to a mix of nerves and I don't know, wanting to feel like I'm sick enough to actually deserve recovery? Regardless I was in a decent mood and the orientation was fine/not overly triggering.
Had a reasonable dinner in anticipation of a night of drinking (I didn't want to make a total ass of myself) and actually had fun.
Then when i went home with my fwb and part way through round 3 my brain just broke. I wanted to go home, I didn't want to be touched or looked at, and I wanted him to comply NOW.
I did a total 180 and though I didn't freak out on the guy, I must have made him feel like he did something horrible.
I know that consent can be revoked at any time for any reason, I just didn't expect to have it happen.
He knows about my ed and puts up with so much shit from me, so luckily he was (mostly) understanding and drove me home.
I cried the whole way.
So now I'm hungover and have a house full of family expecting me to eat brunch. Nevermind the dinner out that I have to go to later this evening.
Now I have to deal with a cluster fuck of emotions and a man who doesn't know why I freaked out.
Happy fuckin birthday to me. Sorry for the long read.
[Other] Just logged a listerine breath strip AMA
/u/pelicandreaming [5'10 | 104 | 14.9 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 10:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u524g/just_logged_a_listerine_breath_strip_ama/
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Sorry for not being very important post but I had to laugh at myself a bit here lmfao
[Goal] Getting back on track today
/u/areddittoshowoff [161cm | C: 57kg | G: 54kg | -17kg | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:56:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4w01/getting_back_on_track_today/
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I’ve been maintaining instead of losing for the last little while and I’m not happy about it. Too much alcohol and too many alcohol induced junk food binges.
So today is the day I get back on schedule. I’ve taken some laxatives + I’m going to drink a ton of water to start clearing things out for a fresh start.
I’m going to reach my GW by the end of the month or die trying. 🙃
PSA: [Serious] Dentists of reddit, what's the biggest mistake or misunderstanding people make when it comes to dental hygiene?
/u/invincibletitan33 [5'4.5 | 54kg | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:55:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4vqm/psa_serious_dentists_of_reddit_whats_the_biggest/
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http://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9u18am/serious_dentists_of_reddit_whats_the_biggest/e90rgbj
Fuck laxatives
/u/filthjob
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:49:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4tzj/fuck_laxatives/
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Last night I took 3 or 4 laxatives and now (11:45 am) they’ve just kicked in. I’m not shitting, I’m just shaking, ready to puke, having a hot flash, laying on my bathroom floor because I can’t get up. My asshole and really lower belly/inside of my vagina keeps cramping, that’s all that happened to me last time I took them as well. I JUST WANT TO SHIT. Is there nothing in me to come out? Is it my body? Why are they not working? Frustrated.
[Tip] What are your game changers re: staying healthy with an ED?
/u/gndrfkr
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:44:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4snj/what_are_your_game_changers_re_staying_healthy/
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I know we'd all recover ideally, but if it's not in the cards at the moment, it's still good to do our best to look out for ourselves. And yes, "healthy" with an ED is extremely relative.
For me, I'm just trying to stay alive and out of the ER. High protein while restricting has helped a lot.
Share what you've got! 😇
[Help] Why are my knees so bruised?
/u/bitpattern
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:38:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4qp6/why_are_my_knees_so_bruised/
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I'd attach a picture, but I can't take a good one/its less noticable in pictures. I've been restricting for a while but I've been taking lots of vitamins and I feel okay and it's not like I walk around smashing my knees about, they do hurt tho. Does this happen to anyone else?
Relapsed, lost weight, and scared.
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 133.2 | -48 lbs | F22]
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:27:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4nbz/relapsed_lost_weight_and_scared/
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Hi guys, so the title pretty much sums it up.. I had a horrible weekend of drinking and not eating a week ago, and told myself I wouldn’t do it to myself again. Didn’t drink for a week.. ate a lot.. like 1,500 calories a day.. and kept seeing the pounds pile on according to the scale.. I got so nervous. I told myself it was just water weight and my TDEE is 2100 so I shouldn’t be afraid, but yesterday I just lost it. I bought a fifth of vodka and drank the entire thing in one night. 1650 calories. Spent the night happy and drunk.. and woke up 5 pounds lighter. I know this is so so destructive, but it feels so good. I’m too hungover to even think about food right now, and just vomited up the water I drank this morning. I feel stuck between my alcoholism and my ED. Alcohol is my fix for when I feel I’m eating too much.. and I don’t know how to give it up.
eaten 200 calories in the past 3 days, stayed active, and I've lost 8lbs
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:22:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4lw4/eaten_200_calories_in_the_past_3_days_stayed/
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No doubt it's mostly water but hey it's my first gw :")
Iron-deficiency Anemia? safe foods?
/u/2low-key [4'10| CW 92| BMI 19.2| GW 84 | 23F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:19:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4kvc/irondeficiency_anemia_safe_foods/
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My iron-deficiency anemia has gotten substantially worse in the past year according to my OBGYN- i try to take iron supplements most days, but I forget sometimes. My doctor suggested I eat more red meat but like.....eww? No thanks! DAE have low iron? Are there any iron rich foods I can actually eat?
[Rant/Rave] Accutane is a blessing (in more ways than the obvious one)
/u/FatBarbara
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:19:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4ksy/accutane_is_a_blessing_in_more_ways_than_the/
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I just want to say that not only my skin really cleared, and my hair doesn't get so oily so it looks great the second or even third day but also...
I CAN'T DRINK, saved so many calories and also none of my friends can't make me drink without seeming like a complete asshole because I make them feel guilty by saying "Why do you want me to damage my liver bro? You know it's really dangerous for me to drink..." (I mean, it's sort of the truth but nothing would really happened if I drank a little bit, but I don't like drinking a little bit. I don't see the point if I don't get completely obliterated)
Also I was a lurker of this subreddit for a long time, made this account because I was too paranoid to use my old one for some reason :D
[Discussion] Struggling.
/u/nillanerd
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:18:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4kpw/struggling/
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I hate my body. And I can’t stand knowing that when I eat, I’m just perpetuating that body and making it worse.
I try to stop eating, and I go one day and I’m already stuffing my face. I hate myself.
How do I keep myself from eating? Tape my mouth shut?
Fasting today 🙏🏻 Getting myself BACK ON TRACK
/u/standingbymountains
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:18:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4kp4/fasting_today_getting_myself_back_on_track/
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https://i.redd.it/reesafgfacw11.jpg
DAE BINGE, add up on MFP, purge, then divide everything by half?
/u/cornpoppedlex
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:11:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4im7/dae_binge_add_up_on_mfp_purge_then_divide/
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I broke a recovery streak today and do what I always do(refer to title). I had racked up 5793cals all on 2 boxes of lofthouse cookies, a tube of cookie dough, and like 190-200 cals of shit I ate before I broke(at around 7:45am-8am). Purged and divided everything down to about 2993cals. All before 9am. Still a shitty guilt-ridden number but the lower the number the more relaxed, for me.
I know I might be able to lop off more but idk. I like to make myself over compensate with the fast after the binge. Will attempt to eat normally though.
(This is more like a journal entry after that first bit)
Was about 96.5lbs before. Scale reads 97 now. It’s a waiting game for me now.
The bright side? I didn’t sleep all night!
I was thinking about food and specifically splurging on ihop( @6am. chicken and waffles) and McDonald’s (@5am on two orders of biscuits and gravy).
I instead ended up getting junk food along with what was on my grocery list around 6:30am. AND I didn’t even eat all the junk food.
About to confess and go turn in my debit card to roomie and bring the rest of the groceries in(hope me leaving at such an early time on a Sunday wasn’t to disruptive).
I feel like a tired failure for messing up and staying awake but at least I’m confessing, restricting my money teat, and giving away remaining food, I guess. Ugh I gotta kick this shit.
Thanks for readin’! I’m impressed if ya got this far !lol
Byee
Reaching my goals
/u/wolme
Created: Sun Nov 4 09:10:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4i4q/reaching_my_goals/
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I'm so on track for my weight. Sure, there are some concerns from my family and friends. My starting weight was a whopping 140 American pounds on my 5'1 frame. I was an unhappy alcoholic and bulimic getting over the loss of my 7 year relationship. I started around April this year to lose it seriously.
Today I'm 110 pounds and while Im still flabby, I'm sure it's progress even though the voice in my head says it's not enough.
I haven't been this small or happy since middle school.
Hope you are all having a good morning, thanks for being there for me and my journey.
[Discussion] The most ambitious crossover event
/u/lilyisca [5’8” | CW 107 | SW 120 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 08:55:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4dir/the_most_ambitious_crossover_event/
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How does ur ED interact with your other mental/ physical illnesses? For me I can go days without eating when I’m manic, but will immediately eat ten yogurt cups in a row when I’m depressed.
[Rant/Rave] I ate so much salty food yesterday on a binge
/u/bigolbananaonastick
Created: Sun Nov 4 08:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u4957/i_ate_so_much_salty_food_yesterday_on_a_binge/
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That I weigh SEVEN pounds more today. I AM SO FUCKING SAD AND ANGRY.
My diet is...fat?
/u/agentcherrycola [5’11” | cw: 155ish | bmi: 21.6 | lw: 134 | f]
Created: Sun Nov 4 07:51:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u3vup/my_diet_isfat/
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I’ve started logging in mfp again after a long break and noticed that I seem to be eating more fat than recommended each day and much less protein and carbohydrate than I should be. Most of the fat comes from olive oil (bf’s family cook with gallons of it) and then I mostly eat veggies and meat otherwise. Not sure what this means for my health etc. but I thought it was interesting, especially because what I thought had been a ‘bad’ carb-heavy day ended up having perfectly balanced macros. Just shows how much this disorder fucks your perception, even when you think you’ve conquered it.
Stuck in plateau for 3 weeks now, help
/u/Langsverd
Created: Sun Nov 4 07:42:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u3tk7/stuck_in_plateau_for_3_weeks_now_help/
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I was wondering if it was normal to plateau for such a long time? I have a BMI of 17.5
At first I thought it was waste or water weight but it would last a few days, not weeks! I have a steady calorie intake of 500 to 800 cal every day and I started to log \*everything\* and overestimate when unsure for 2 weeks now (I use a food scale).
I exercise almost daily and I had two "cheat days" but even then it wasn't higher than my TDEE.
I feel so miserable... Did any of you ever experienced something similar and if so, how did you manage to get past it?
[Other] Age 12 to 13.... Was it worth it?
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Sun Nov 4 07:32:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u3r7r/age_12_to_13_was_it_worth_it/
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https://i.redd.it/5cerz13jrbw11.png
[Rant/Rave] The new Pokemon Go update is fueling my exercise and it’s great.
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Sun Nov 4 06:46:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u3ffu/the_new_pokemon_go_update_is_fueling_my_exercise/
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Before on Pokemon Go you had to have the app open and walk distance, not steps, to hatch your eggs.
They recently added a feature where it counts your steps from the Health app on your phone so you can literally just walk around your house & get new pokemon & achievements.
Yesterday I walked 17.2k steps. I hatched like 15 virtual eggs and it felt great. I would definitely recommend.
(P.S if u also play, add me! I’m always looking for new friends on there. 5681 0219 4726)
[Rant/Rave] Mukbangs while I’m fasting??
/u/okbunnie
Created: Sun Nov 4 06:14:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u38fl/mukbangs_while_im_fasting/
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I can NEVER tell if it’s a good idea for me to watch mukbangs when I’m fasting. I really don’t have any of that type of food in my house, but I feel like it’ll make me crave.
On the other hand, I just love watching others eat while I don’t. It makes me feel good about myself and it’s somewhat relieving to see others eat?? It’s so hard to explain ://.
[Discussion] Do you remember the time before binging?
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Sun Nov 4 05:55:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u348g/do_you_remember_the_time_before_binging/
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Hi. Sorry if this gets long.
I got my ED around 10 years ago. I was at a BMI of around 20 and just wanted to see if I could lose a tiny bit of weight so I could then eat sweets and such without fearing to get fat. I had never been fat but I didnt want to get there. I went on the pro ana forums of the time and remember reading about People "binging" and I thought that just sounds stupid, "that Will just not help you, I'm never going to do that". Well, I didnt have to lose many kilos before I was stuck and then I was restricting too Hard, and the binging started. And then I understood those People in the forums...
I got down to BMI 17,5-ish before I got so much anxiety that I got help. Thing is, I am now sort of... Back to that head space where I don't understand binging. I have sort of done some kind of casual recovery through the years, and now that I am High restricting (on keto, too), I have managed to lose steadily but a lot more slowly, and I havent really binged during these... Maybe 3 months.
So, I am thinking - I WANT TO STAY IN THIS PLACE where binging is not an issue, because I know intellectually that binging happens when you restrict too much. And last time I never realized restricting too much, before binging just jumped on me. I am now at a BMI of around 21 after having Lost around 4 kg in three months, which I know is quite slowly (and maybe healthy?). Do you think I can keep this up if I just keep losing really slowly? I'd like to be AT LEAST at a bmi below 20, but preferably below 18. Currently I am aiming at losing 1 kg/month, so it Will take time. But yeah, Will this... Work? Or Will binging come back when I go below 20?
[Tip] For those of you with bulimia.
/u/_trash_taco_ [5'4 | 110 | 18.9 | 35 | Female]
Created: Sun Nov 4 05:14:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2vvz/for_those_of_you_with_bulimia/
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https://i.redd.it/1f54t6er0bw11.jpg
Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 4 05:13:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2vnp/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 04, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 4 05:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2v42/daily_food_diary_november_04_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 04, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
At Work
/u/RainyDayDaydream
Created: Sun Nov 4 05:10:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2v35/at_work/
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And all I can think about is how I look like a fat little sausage in my jeans. They used to fit so much better 2 years ago. Fml.
[Rant/Rave] my mom is such a mean person sometimes
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Sun Nov 4 04:45:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2qo8/my_mom_is_such_a_mean_person_sometimes/
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I had the b word already typed out in the title tbh. I’ve never admitted that my mom is super mean and cruel to me (most of the time), because well, she’s my mother and she loves me right?, and I love her, and I have been desperately clinging to the idea that she meant well but didn’t know any better or something
but now, with 25, I finally realize that she actually is -omg I’m saying it now- a huge ——bitch and damn well knows what she’s doing
I visited my parents and I’ve been anxious that they might see that I’ve lost weight- not because they’d worry or anything because they wouldn’t. I am just bailing on family meet ups and stuff like this for months now because I want a big Christmas reveal (stupid, I know). We celebrate Christmas with more family than just me and my parents and I want someone else to point out to my parents that I’ve lost weight, idk.
Anyway, so I got there and my little brother, who’s 15, showed me his abs. He’s super proud because he has a six pack now and he’s taller than me and all. (on a side note- he definitely has ED related and BD problems and I know it’s my mothers fault who keeps telling him he’s too fat since he’s 8)
So he picked me up and said you’re so skinny!, and he carried me around a bit and it was all fun and games until my mother came and screamed he should put me down before he broke his back because I weigh more than him.
Guys. My brother who’s two heads taller than me.
My brother got confused and said he weighs 165lbs so he doubts I’d be heavier and she just looked at me and said “so? what do you weigh? maybe ten pounds less.”
And here I was thinking she might notice I’ve lost weight. thanks mom!!!!
[Discussion] People in the UK, what are your safe foods?
/u/flightlesspotato [5'5 | CW: 134 | 22.4 ]
Created: Sun Nov 4 04:34:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2ovw/people_in_the_uk_what_are_your_safe_foods/
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I just moved to the UK from SE Asia about a month or so ago for university, and apart from being able to try the famous Halo Top, I’m still finding it really difficult to get comfortable with the food here. Do you guys have any recommendations on what snacks and foods are good here?
[Help] advice on support groups
/u/castingsessionpod [5'10" | CW: 185?| UGW: 160 | Male]
Created: Sun Nov 4 04:15:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2ltu/advice_on_support_groups/
---
So I know rationally that going to treatment, therapy, support groups, etc. you don't have to prove that you are sick enough or that you deserve to be there. Still the few times I've been to support groups (which is basically the only support I can afford) I've felt a different kind of anxiety. Namely that I've gone to a few where I was the only male in the group. I don't mind being in the minority or being open/vulnerable in front of women, but I have a deep fear that I'm intruding on their space. Of course we're all going through the same stuff, but the idea that someone else might feel less comfortable just by me being there makes me extremely stressed. I know its probably all in my head, but every time I go I just feel so intrusive.
Not sure that I have a bigger point to this, my life is in such freefall that I'm probably going to have to start going to group sessions soon or things are going to get out of control so I guess I'll just have to suck it up.
[Other] What messed up ED thing did you do recently?
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Sun Nov 4 04:12:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2lfq/what_messed_up_ed_thing_did_you_do_recently/
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I made a batch of 40 cookies for my family. Ate 10, purged poorly, then threw away the other 30 cookies for fear I'd eat the rest. My family never knew I made them.
Oh, and then I ate 2000 calories worth of cereal and muesli until I was so sick I threw up where I was standing.
Sausage fingers no more.
/u/bby_gsta
Created: Sun Nov 4 04:10:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2l0k/sausage_fingers_no_more/
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https://i.redd.it/nhac6njbraw11.jpg
[Other] Any kik or Instagram accounts ?
/u/narkreturn
Created: Sun Nov 4 03:31:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2ev4/any_kik_or_instagram_accounts/
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[removed]
[Other] hahahah just had a 4000 calorie binge kms.
/u/lostandlonley333
Created: Sun Nov 4 03:30:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2ep4/hahahah_just_had_a_4000_calorie_binge_kms/
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what the fuck is wrong with me. i feel like i blacked out.
I am never fasting again
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 03:20:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u2dbf/i_am_never_fasting_again/
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Every time I fast, I swear, there is some psychological component where I HAVE to binge. Normally I do OMAD which is essentially 24 fasting but doesn't "feel" like it. Today, I did a "real" fast and on hour 26 binged!!! When I do OMAD I can get to 24 hours and stick with 500-1000 calories. Not sure why I got so hungry. At least my binge was only about 2200 and I burned around 2500 yesterday, so more or less a wash/wasted day.
Anyone interested in a recovery/accountability buddy/chat group?
/u/PizzaCutter
Created: Sun Nov 4 02:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u25st/anyone_interested_in_a_recoveryaccountability/
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[removed]
[Help] Anyone done a milk only diet? Considering doing it for a week
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:55:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u214y/anyone_done_a_milk_only_diet_considering_doing_it/
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Specifically with almond milk. I've tried water fasting but I can never last. I love nut milks. They are so low calorie but filling and I feel like this could be a good compromise. I don't want to do it longer than a week, as I'm just trying to break a plateau.
Anybody have any experience or advice?
Does anybody use a halfway decent intermittent fasting tracker?
/u/vladimirlovescake [5'7 | 27 | Obese | They/Them]
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:40:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1z35/does_anybody_use_a_halfway_decent_intermittent/
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I'm trying to do 3:4 (fasting M, W, F, eating T, Th, S, Su) and I'm trying to find something to track and schedule my fasts automatically. Also, how have your experiences been with IF?
Currently eating artificial sweetener straight out of the bag, by the spoonful
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 86.2|BMI 13.4|SW 108lbs|21F|🍑yuzukalbi🍑]
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:14:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1vkr/currently_eating_artificial_sweetener_straight/
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What even is my life anymore?
What do you do to combat boredom eating?
/u/gummypanda95
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:01:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1tul/what_do_you_do_to_combat_boredom_eating/
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I. Can’t. Stop. Eating.
What do you guys do? I chew gum but I have TMJ / I can’t do moderation so I chew a whole pack a day (which is terrible for your tummy).
My boyfriend kept staring at a skinny bitch in the club :(
/u/MolarPet27
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:50:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1sdg/my_boyfriend_kept_staring_at_a_skinny_bitch_in/
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Ok fight me for being a dumb dramatic hoe idc. We were out last night with some of my friends, and he couldn’t take his eyes off this insanely skinny, pretty tall girl dancing with her friends. She was an amazing dancer and he had the stupidest smile on his face just watching her. It made me feel awful. I went to the bathroom to try and purge but I hadn’t eaten in a few days and it was just bile and tequila and burned really bad, and all the girls were silent and staring at me when I came out of the stall 😭😭😭😭 and he was still watching her when I came back so I said I felt sick and needed to go home, and we left. We haven’t had sex in almost a month and I know it’s because I turn him off. I’m only 4 pounds from my gw (110) but now I know that’s not nearly low enough :( I’m so pissed at myself.
[Help] What is wrong with my face/eyes??
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:23:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1omv/what_is_wrong_with_my_faceeyes/
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Every time I do my makeup and I look in the mirror I’m like wow I don’t look so bad. I pull out my phone for a selfie or mirror pic and I’m like wtfff.. I look so hideous. Then proceeds to delete them all and lose confidence. Does anyone feel this way?
[Discussion] food nightmares?
/u/arthroego [20F 🍄 -42 🍄 38 left]
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:23:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1ojz/food_nightmares/
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alright, so ive had sleep issues since ive been a baby and its compounded by ptsd. used to have tons of nightmares about why i got ptsd and general scary shit... but... this most recent restrict cycle? binging nightmares.
i just woke up in a cold sweat because i had a dream i ate five dining hall cookies. last week i had a nightmare about eating bags and bags of candy. last month? nightmare about eating two boxes of pasta. i literally wake up anxious and it stresses me out and makes me restrict More the following day because the food tasted so REAL in my dream im legit afraid i slept ate even though i never have the stuff i dream binged on in my apartment???
like i feel so r/1200isjerky but i spiritually log binge dreams as 200 like im gonna fuckin absorb calories from my subconscious???? like what the fuck lmao. i dont even restrict that low. 700-1000 a day. like its manageable and i dont usually feel like shit. but.... these nightmares throw me off for days after. i guess its better than reliving my trauma or having a straight horror movie play in my head but i at LEAST wish i could realize it was a dream mid binge so i could at least enjoy the fucking food lmao
anyone else get these?? id love to hear them lol, would make me feel less crazy
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like a fatass even when you eat below maintenance?
/u/justadumbkid1 [5’5|145.2 lbs|40 lbs lost|23.7 BMI|F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:08:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1mgh/dae_feel_like_a_fatass_even_when_you_eat_below/
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Like, today I ate ~1000 calories and burned ~200, but I feel like a total fat loser. I always feel the need to check if my double chin has gotten bigger, and, I swear to god, it’s more noticeable right after I eat and for hours afterward. OOF I want to fast for weeks because it’s the only thing that makes me feel okay about my weight
[Other] How many Chihuahuas worth of weight have you lost ! Lol, best motivation
/u/luvpuppups
Created: Sun Nov 4 01:04:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1lrz/how_many_chihuahuas_worth_of_weight_have_you_lost/
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https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Funny-Weight-Loss-Comparison-Chart-45448651/amp
Best motivation for me yet!
/u/luvpuppups
Created: Sun Nov 4 00:54:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1k3j/best_motivation_for_me_yet/
---
https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Funny-Weight-Loss-Comparison-Chart-45448651/amp
Fruit and water retention
/u/penny_del
Created: Sun Nov 4 00:53:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1jy9/fruit_and_water_retention/
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Does eating LOTS of fruit cause water retention? I’ve been eating a lot of mango lately, sometimes doing mono. I’m trying to stop but I randomly became addicted and have been eating it heaps. How much (of any) fruit a day do you think would impact water retention?
"Finally got laid" girl is really sad
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Sun Nov 4 00:41:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1i5a/finally_got_laid_girl_is_really_sad/
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I made date/dick appointment with the guy I hooked up with on Halloween. Pretty sure guy was drunk when he said yes to me (it was 10pm on friday and his texts didnt always make sense). Then of course he sobered up and promptly cancelled on me this afternoon. I keep crying. I know it's because I'm ugly. I'm pretty enough to fuck but not for anything else. I feel like shit. All I can hope for is another one night stand in 2 more years. I'm going to die alone unless I lose like 45-50lbs and somehow manage to not lose my tits in the process.
I want to trigger myself again
/u/guiltyseeker
Created: Sun Nov 4 00:35:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1ha0/i_want_to_trigger_myself_again/
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I used to restrict. I was skinny and very very good at keeping my cals super low. Looking back, it was a control thing.
Recovered, not sure how. Gained. A LOT. I need to lose but can't seem to, anymore. Eating healthy and exercising has no effect, I keep gaining.
How do I trigger myself again? I miss the feeling of control and feeling good about my appearance. I hate having my period.
I don't miss being tired and fuzzy headed all the time.
[Rant/Rave] I don’t fucking know what I look like
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 52kg | 17.8 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 4 00:21:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1eyt/i_dont_fucking_know_what_i_look_like/
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I tend to take selfie-camera videos of myself several times a day, also pictures. Every time I look in the mirror my weight looks completely different, in some lights all of my ribs are visible, in others, not at all.
From the side i look 10kg heavier and everything depends on how far up the camera is from the ground. When outside every single reflective surface makes me look different, if I have my photo taken I look like a fucking whale.
I don’t know if my perception is skewed because sometimes I really think ‘wow, I am skinny’ and then I look in another mirror and I am a fucking fatass.
To make matters worse, I haven’t been weighed in literally 4 months and I have no access to a scale (I am under the supervision of my mother and a MH team)
What has upset me today was an unposed photo taken by a friend that make me look so much fatter than in my videos and now I want to fucking concuss myself.
If I could send you my photo for another perspective that would be great(yes I would send photos to strangers on the internet for validation) Or share your thoughts and rant in the comments aaaaaaaaaFUCK or advice please and thank you
[Help] Weight you think would look absolutely the best for a 5’7 female?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 4 00:15:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1e2o/weight_you_think_would_look_absolutely_the_best/
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[deleted]
[Rant/Rave] Had a guy guess I was 110lbs
/u/rejected_desk_puppy
Created: Sun Nov 4 00:07:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u1cp1/had_a_guy_guess_i_was_110lbs/
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Went to this party tonight. I never go to parties there’s always food and I worry if I don’t eat it is that weird and if I do everyone talks while they eat and they will probably watch me eat/judge my food. Anyway I’m tipsy and I cannot stop thinking about how this dude said he was going to move the patio couch thing I was sitting on, but guys, he tells me “don’t worry about moving you probably only weight 110 if that” I weigh a lot a lot more but holy shit random party guy thought I was kind of small and I haven’t experienced thing since freshman year when I weighed 98lbs. I’ll convince myself he was making a joke because I’m obviously a whale later, but for now I’m just tickled pink.
starting again tomorrow
/u/EyeOfSisyphus [5'4 | CW 128.7 | -20.3 | F | GW 105]
Created: Sat Nov 3 23:43:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u18po/starting_again_tomorrow/
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it's 12 am as i'm writing this, and november makes 4 months since i had to stop restricting cause my parents were worried.
I've decided, fuck that. It's been 4 painfully long months. I can't stand this anymore.
So I am starting again tomorrow. Maybe I can still hit the hundreds this year like I wanted to?
[Discussion] Starting Again = Happy and Sad?
/u/introvertedoctopuss [5’10 | CW ~168 | GW 140 | 24.1 BMI | F29 ]
Created: Sat Nov 3 23:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u184e/starting_again_happy_and_sad/
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After a solid 2 years of not thinking too much about my weight (and some what maintaining), I am definitely back in an ED mindset. I have gained 20 pounds from my lowest steady weight of ~145 (was still aiming for lower).
I am upset because I know that this isn’t a “healthy” way of thinking but I am also excited because it means I might turn things around and not feel like such a pig. Does anyone else get this, feeling happy and sad about your ED at the same time?
To make it worse, or at least more awkward:
- I am in graduate school.
- I feel “too old” to still be thinking about this.
- I am a transwoman.
- Even at my lowest weight I feel like a phony in the ED world.
Can anyone else relate (to any part of that rambling)?
[Rant/Rave] Ate too much today.
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Sat Nov 3 23:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u164w/ate_too_much_today/
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Idk but everytime I’m at work I literally cant control myself. If I’m at home I’m fine but at work I will literally eat anything. Including bagel and cream cheese, popcorn, chips, sausages and a burrito bowl. I’ve been drinking water all day in hopes that maybe I won’t gain weight. I’ve been stuck in this phase where I can’t control myself when it comes to my food urges and so my weight has been yo-yoing instead of steadily going down. It starts with me getting a craving for something and when it is not fulfilled I stuff my face on anything else I can find. Is anyone else like this. God I just want to be skinny. Fuck sorry if you had to read my rambles
[Rant/Rave] I need a vacation from this vacation food
/u/ap0cryphal [5’3 | CW 124.6 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Nov 3 22:58:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u10c4/i_need_a_vacation_from_this_vacation_food/
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I’ve been on vacation with my mother since Thursday and we’ve been going out for every meal. I feel bad restricting in front of her because I know it makes her feel really self-conscious about her own weight, so I’ve been making it a point to finish everything on my plate.
But geez...we had a three-course dinner tonight and I feel like I’m about to explode. I literally need a vacation from food lmao. Before this I was missing eating cooked food, but I’m reaaaally looking forward to getting back to my normal protein bars + raw fruit/veggies. Although I’m *not* looking forward to returning to my scale. I’m wondering if I should just hold off on weighing in until I’m sure all my food/water weight is gone lol or maybe seeing the high number will motivate me more? Ugh.
It’s funny thinking back because I used to eat like this everyday, but now this is like 3-5x more than I would normally allow myself calorically. This feels like bad timing bc I just hit my lowest weight of the past five years and I for sure just undid that 🙃 The silver lining to all this is that I’ve found out “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” is 100% true for me bc the praise I got for losing weight has felt a million times better to me than all the shit I ate today ha. Here’s to getting back on the wagon next week!
Shout-out to my toothbrush
/u/apfrun
Created: Sat Nov 3 22:49:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0yr9/shoutout_to_my_toothbrush/
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For being my best friend in these trying holiday times
Does anyone have an Instagram account where they post their food meals ect
/u/narkreturn
Created: Sat Nov 3 22:45:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0y1a/does_anyone_have_an_instagram_account_where_they/
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Let me know if you guys have one cause I’ve made one and would like to follow more people for support ect
This triggering af video-- she literally says that our (ED sufferers) lives aren't worth living. Thoughts? Sort of reeling over this
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Nov 3 22:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0w7k/this_triggering_af_video_she_literally_says_that/
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0c_THN3YMdE
[Discussion] DAE feel like they want people to know but also to not?
/u/lykaeria [165cm | CW 51kg | GW 43kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 22:05:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0pta/dae_feel_like_they_want_people_to_know_but_also/
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I have this issue where I’m desperate for someone to find out about my ED, care for me, and tell me to get help— but I’m also not ready for recovery nor have the money for therapy, etc. I’m not even sure what I’m doing, because sometimes I’d exaggerate an ED behavior in case someone noticed, and other times I’d completely lie and act as though my eating is perfectly normal.
I don’t even know what would happen if someone found out! It would make the relationship so strained and uncomfortable and force someone who’s never had an eating disorder to now be hyper aware of it when they’re with me. It really wouldn’t help anyone at all but I don’t even know— I just want someone to know I’m suffering.
But I don’t want the consequences of that either, so now I’m just stuck with this manipulative two-faced image and I feel like no one knows what to do with me anymore. Someone kill meeeee
[Rant/Rave] just got called fat twice in one night, why do I even bother?
/u/nobodyfast
Created: Sat Nov 3 22:05:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0plc/just_got_called_fat_twice_in_one_night_why_do_i/
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so my side job is handing out nightclub flyers in a notoriously rough city til 4am, people say rude/mean shit all the time (drunk people are cunts) and I genuinely don’t usually care cos I’m a very chill person but TWO separate strangers called me fat tonight? I know I’m not actually fat (I’m in a healthy bmi) and that people just throw around whatever random words they think will cause most offence but fuck I feel awful, why do I have to stay in this flesh prison it’ll never be what I want it to be...
Eating/Eating Disorder related podcast episodes/interviews?
/u/AndyRectum [5'11" | CW 119 lbs | 25M]
Created: Sat Nov 3 21:56:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0nnf/eatingeating_disorder_related_podcast/
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I really love listening to people talk about their eating habits/views - anything revolving around food. Like theres a great episode of, Dax Shepards podcast with Rob Mchellheny and he talks about putting on weight for that season of, It's Always Sunny. There is another great episode of, The Joe Rogan Experience, with Nikki Glaser and she really dives into her struggles with anorexia. Anyone have any other things like that that they could recommend? Thanks!
So accurate
/u/erin281
Created: Sat Nov 3 21:46:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0ljv/so_accurate/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/9tvlaz/how_i_eat_vs_how_my_friends_eat/
[Rant/Rave] DAE have very specific clothing items that they think look really good on skinny people ...
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:112 | 17.4 |]
Created: Sat Nov 3 21:28:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0hav/dae_have_very_specific_clothing_items_that_they/
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And won’t let themselves buy them till they look like that??
For me, one of these items is the super tight swiftly tech LS by lululemon. It just looks SOO good on skinny people.
Same with high waisted leggings paired with a sports bra... so jealous!
fuck now I never want to eat again
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Sat Nov 3 21:06:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u0cdq/fuck_now_i_never_want_to_eat_again/
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you don’t realize how much you like somebody until they’re with somebody else
mAyBe he would have liked me more if I was bmi 16 instead of 18.8
why am I like this oh my god his new gf isn’t even skinny my weight wasn’t the reason we never really had a full on thing but my brain is telling me that it is
[Other] Pre show meet and greet with Willam. Her body is goals for me.
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:56:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u09to/pre_show_meet_and_greet_with_willam_her_body_is/
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https://i.redd.it/o1hs99n7b8w11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] DAE worry they’ll never reach their goal weigh
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW: 116 | GW 100-105 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:53:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u097c/dae_worry_theyll_never_reach_their_goal_weigh/
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So I finally put my foot down and have been losing. My goal is 99/100 and I just feel like I’ll never get there. My LW is only 110, which isn’t that low. And I feel like I’m running out of time before I go home/ leave school to deal with depression. So what will I do? Fast as much as possible then high restrict when I get home.
I want help for depression and anxiety, but I want them to leave the ED alone. Im not ready to deal with that.
[Rant/Rave] Zucchini noodles are such a waste of my time?? RANT
/u/doubledigitsplease
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:48:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u07z4/zucchini_noodles_are_such_a_waste_of_my_time_rant/
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In context of replacing pasta, that is. I love veggies and I eat them more than anything else, but I hate when I decide to make Zoodles with a subconscious expectation they’ll even resemble the real thing 😕 I just taste extra watery tomato sauce and Parmesan.
[Help] Boyfriend made dinner and I'm panicking as I sit in front of this plate.
/u/feelsomethinggg
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:36:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u04zy/boyfriend_made_dinner_and_im_panicking_as_i_sit/
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So my boyfriend made dinner tonight.
I've been low restricting (<500) and omad when I do eat. So I haven't since about this time last night and obvi starving.
He made cauliflower fries one of my fav and from the package. I was able to weigh these while he was in the bathroom and get an exact cal on those.
The. There's the salad. Lettuce , tomato, cucumber, and red pepper. I took a smallish serving and added a drizzle of French.
The only concern I have is this chicken. He made it in the skillet with oil (yikes).
I have the package saved in my tracker so I weighed 1.5 oz cooked.
I'm just panicked af I feel like none of my counts are accurate and I'm over my 500 limit. And I don't want to eat
I want to spill my drink all over my food but I know he would just make another plate.
Ugh sorry for the rambling.
Have a good night everyoooneeee
I'm so hideously ugly I can't look at myself anymore.
/u/porcellicini [5'7 | CW 170 | GW 96]
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:28:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u034p/im_so_hideously_ugly_i_cant_look_at_myself_anymore/
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I know a lot of overweight people and often they are beautiful. They have nice faces, even if they don't have particularly nice bodies. But I have neither. Even if I had the nicest body on planet earth, I'd be a 6/10 with this face. It's so ugly. It's so *stretchy*. When I smile, my whole face scrunches up in this grotesque way that makes my eyes look beady and my cheeks hideously fat. When I'm just sitting, my lips protrude from my face. Sometimes my mouth even hangs open slightly, so I look even more like a braindead moron. I have a muffin top in everything, and if I don't, it just makes my legs look even fatter. I saw a picture of myself earlier and I wondered how my body supported my feet. My stomach hangs over my legs. My arms are covered in fat. My body shape is rectangular. I try not to smile because it makes me look so disgustingly gross.
I don't know how I could ever have deluded myself into thinking anyone would ever be interested in me. People don't even pity me, they just look at me in disgust. I sit next to my crush in computer science and I somehow got myself to believe that he likes me, but I've been fucking lying to myself. I bet he thinks I'm a weird, slobbery, fat freak who doesn't even know how to dress herself. I bet he looks at me like everyone else does; like a blob of fat with little beady eyes and a disgusting upturned mouth.
The worst thing is that if you saw a photo of me, you'd have to admit, you'd be FORCED to admit that I'm not as pretty as any of the girls around me. You would have NO CHOICE because it's all TRUE.
[Discussion] Rice?
/u/taylizzle- [Height:5’3 | CW:112 ]
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:21:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u01b5/rice/
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Would y’all consider white rice to be a safe food ?🤔
[Discussion] Just saw a post from one of those self care pages on Instagram saying you burn 2x calories when you exercise on your period. This is obviously not the case but is there even a small element of truth?
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:17:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9u00et/just_saw_a_post_from_one_of_those_self_care_pages/
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I really hope so haha just wondering if any of you know if there’s anything to support that when you’re on your period you burn more calories
[Help] I said yes to brunch tomorrow and I’m high key freaking out, need some help estimating calories
/u/realthrowawayhrs
Created: Sat Nov 3 20:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzvwb/i_said_yes_to_brunch_tomorrow_and_im_high_key/
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I’m stressing the fuck out because I’ve been eating more calories than I’ve wanted to for the past few days. It’s still been way under my hard limit of 1200 but it always feels like failure when 300 turns into 700. I wanted to fast tomorrow because I know I’m having a big meal on monday but I guess that’s not happening now. I feel like I’m gonna end up choosing something with a lot of calories and it’s all estimates anyways so who knows how much I’ll actually be eating. Like I want to have a good time and not raise suspicion but I can’t help but think about all the calories in most of the things on the menu. Also I only know the person who invited me and her other friends are going so I definitely don’t want to look like I have a problem because I want to make more friends. I’m freaking out :( I’m gonna list some of my options that I’m thinking of tomorrow and would y’all mind giving me some opinions and maybe some estimate calories?
-buttermilk pancakes (idk how many but probably 2 or 3?) probably with sugar-free syrup and a side of fruit
-3 egg omelette with pepperjack cheese, tomato, and spinach and a side of fruit/grits
-fried egg with pepperjack cheese, pig-candy bacon, and a fried green tomato on a buttermilk biscuit and and a side of fruit/grits
-oatmeal topped with seasonal fruit compote
-1 fried egg, 1 side of fruit, and 1 side of grits
The restaurant is called The Ruby Slipper if anyone’s curious or has some better ideas. Thanks!!
[Rant/Rave] Went shopping today and stumbled upon brandy Melville...
/u/taiteisnotcool [5'8 | 120.5 | 18.3 | -28 | Female]
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:52:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tztxv/went_shopping_today_and_stumbled_upon_brandy/
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And everything fit! I tried a pair of size small jeans (24-26) waist and the Tilden pants both fitting nice in the waist, fitted in the thighs and loose everywhere else!! I’ve been so nervous to buy anything from them because I was so scared I was too fat but now at 5’8 125ish I can fit it all!! [Clothes pic :)](https://imgur.com/a/aGTEhUR) I even ate 1000 today when I usually eat 500 and felt... okay?
just discovered mitski and this hit me hard 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧
/u/ssakii
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:48:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzt35/just_discovered_mitski_and_this_hit_me_hard/
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https://i.redd.it/mu1phlu7z7w11.jpg
[Discussion] I thought this calendar was cute
/u/taylizzle- [Height:5’3 | CW:112 ]
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:43:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzrj6/i_thought_this_calendar_was_cute/
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https://i.redd.it/45p6plk6y7w11.jpg
If I almost exclusively eat veggies would I be able to lose weight and muscle?
/u/hazelnut___ [5'9 | SW:158 | CW:151 | GW:135 | f22]
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:40:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzqwq/if_i_almost_exclusively_eat_veggies_would_i_be/
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Having chunky muscles is a huge part of my body image problems. I was unfortunately exposed to large amounts of testosterone for the first 2 decades of my life and it made my muscles naturally big. Nothing crazy but just bulky, especially around my shoulders, back, and legs. I did a quick google search and pretty much everyone said eating only veggies is a bad idea. Is it? I feel like a lack of calories and protein would pretty much give me exactly what I want
[Goal] So tired of binging
/u/CakeandAss
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:40:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzqqh/so_tired_of_binging/
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I’ve been binging for what feels like a week now and I’m so tired of it. I’ve gained 5 lbs since August. I feel disgusted with myself. I want to fast or eat less than 500 calories a day for the next week.
Anyone want to join me? Try to hold me accountable? Hold each other accountable?
Just puked in public...
/u/hope_fiend
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:39:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzqi8/just_puked_in_public/
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Oh my god. I’m so fucking embarrassed. I binged and didn’t purge and my body freaked out I guess, I was smoking a cigarette and just fucking puked out of nowhere in front of a bunch of people. I hate everything.
[Discussion] My resting HR went down a lot after purging more; why?
/u/keep_it_poppin
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:32:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzotm/my_resting_hr_went_down_a_lot_after_purging_more/
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Resting bpm. It used to be like 69 now it’s 58
[Rant/Rave] feeling disgusting, scared and a lil motivated all at once
/u/ssakii
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:28:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tznro/feeling_disgusting_scared_and_a_lil_motivated_all/
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these last few days have been so horrible. my mood has been really really really low lately and i literally binged every day for 3 days straight and i’m so scared to weigh myself because i know i’ll cry and probably break down lol. i feel like such a disgusting whale who can’t do anything right. i’m going to wake up really early tomorrow so i can work out before work and then maybe fast until dinner, and then try to stay at 600 or less for the next few days. wish me luck 🐷🤧 i hope you’re all having a better week/weekend than me, sendin love ur way ❤️
The Scars On My Knuckles Are Dolce & Gabbana
/u/lilpolymath [5'10" | CW 112 | BMI 15.7 | 24F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:20:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzlom/the_scars_on_my_knuckles_are_dolce_gabbana/
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https://medium.com/@rhettrowan/the-scars-on-my-knuckles-are-dolce-gabbana-75ab56d45ace
[Rant/Rave] Just want to rant
/u/malxee
Created: Sat Nov 3 19:12:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzjhr/just_want_to_rant/
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Was telling my boyfriend I want to lose weight and he got really mad and called me stupid and was all like “I don’t understand, if you want to lose weight so much why don’t you exercise? You could be exercising right now but you’re talking to me, sitting on your ass and being a lazy fuck. I don’t understand you.”
Thanks bbe. I’ll be sure to over exercise:)
[Rant/Rave] spent $2200 + on food since October 1st...what the actual FUCK
/u/bellxxaaa [5'3 | 90lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:59:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzg3r/spent_2200_on_food_since_october_1stwhat_the/
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Please tell me there is someone else out there that has been in a similar position to me....maybe you didn't spend that much money but has anyone else out there spent an astronomical amount of money on food and couldn't believe it???
​
Basically if anyone cares to read this my mom and dad left the country for 3 weeks and I was left home alone so basically I let my depression/eating disorder devolve into fucking chaos because I knew that I COULD and no one would be there to stop me or pressure me into maintaining my sanity
​
I wish I was kidding when I say all I did every day was wake up, order food to binge on and watch mukbang/food related videos on my laptop. There were many days where I didn't leave my house once or talk to a single person but the delivery driver. Leaving my house actually became increasingly difficult and seemed like such a monumental task. I have never sunk so deep into my eating disorder and let it control me this bad until now.
​
​
The worst part is that I KNEW I was getting really bad this month and had to do something about it but for some reason I just let myself keep going down this disgusting path and kept telling myself 'you deserve it' 'no one is there to save you' 'its just you' 'no one can see what you're doing'
​
anyways my mom and dad are coming home today in an hour and inshallah (arabic for 'god willing') i will fucking return to normal when they come back :(
​
​
[Rant/Rave] Apparently, the only difference between 'just being on a diet' and 'having an eating disorder' is your current weight.
/u/dansla116 [5'9" | 137.4 | 20.3 | -17.6 | M]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:52:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzea3/apparently_the_only_difference_between_just_being/
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Anyone else ever pick up on this? If someone is 200+, 300+, whatever pounds and they say they're trying to lose weight by cutting out sweets, eating salads, counting calories, working out, doing cardio it's all "Good for you. Way to go." And if they succeed, it's all "Great job. You look so beautiful, now." comments on their progress pictures.
But if I ever say I want to get in shape or slim down a little with the same methods - not even ed methods, just plain old calorie counting and some cardio exercise - I'm attacked and called out for "being an anorixic freak".
I'm sorry. Am I not aloud to set personal goals? Am I not aloud to try to better myself? Am I not deserving of the same praise given to the people in the progress pictures? You think I don't work hard? You think I don't struggle every day?
You know what's driven me to a fucked state of mind where I feel this sub is the one I fit in the most? It's all the times I've been laughed at - literally - for being anorixic, before the idea even crossed my mind. It's when I was a normal stuggling dieter who caved in and "binged", before I even knew what a binge was. And someone seeing the binge and telling me I don't deserve the body I have while eating that much.
I don't deserve it?! I'll set a standard for myself I don't deserve. Then I'll reach that standard. The differnece now? The only way to reach that goal is with ed methods - heavy restriction, lots of cardio, ECA stacks, obsessive weighing (food and body). I was a normal person on a plain diet... this is where I've been pushed.
[Goal] BMI below 19!
/u/SourRoach420 [5'4"| 110 | 18.9 | Female]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tzb5m/bmi_below_19/
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Title says it! BMI finally below 19 and I even had a 3k binge day this week. Next goal is to get into the double digits ;)
[Other] You ever just....
/u/cattivity
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:34:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz9mz/you_ever_just/
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wish you could hire someone to knock you unconscious every time you think about letting yourself binge ?
[Rant/Rave] I love feeling hungry.
/u/okbunnie
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:33:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz9hd/i_love_feeling_hungry/
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I think this is a common thing among people with eating disorders, but I love my stomach being loud and wanting food. It makes me feel so much more confident about myself and I’m knowing that I’m losing weight at the moment. It’s just so.. reassuring??
Forced weigh-ins?
/u/unusualenby [4'11" | 75 lbs| -15 | 16.1 bmi | lv 19| no gender]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:27:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz81t/forced_weighins/
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My period hasn’t come on after a few months and I have a doctor’s appointment for that soon.
The doctor said I should be 86 pounds, but right now I’m almost 10 pounds below that.
In the meantime, my mom wants me to weigh in every Sunday, naked I think, as she’s concerned about my weight.
Any tips for temporarily gaining weight? My TDEE is about 1200, I try not to get too much sodium and try to eat healthy, and I’m trying to get back to working out at least once a week.
[Rant/Rave] ok, fine, it's about control. i guess. ugh
/u/ratorture [5'9 | 130 | 18.65| Perpetual Recovery Machine|]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:17:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz5g4/ok_fine_its_about_control_i_guess_ugh/
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I've always fought the idea that my ED is about control. It feels like such a sweeping, weird statement. It's just about *controlling* something. It's *control.* Bleh, no. Having an ED has always felt completely out of my control. The worse it gets, the less control I have. Control. What a cliche.
But I've just realised my Number One, Big Trigger: when my schedule doesn't go the way I expected.
Not seeing skinny people in underwear. Not when someone looks me in the eyes and asks if I really just ate an entire bag of semi-sweet baking chips. If I penciled something in for 3 o'clock and it gets cancelled, I go into a complete tailspin.
I'm #TRIGGERED by my day planner. fffffff
I wonder how many anorexics are furiously Type A bitches with detailed to-do lists? Show of hands?
​
[Rant/Rave] I’m losing my mind
/u/cosmicjellyfish03 [5’4” | CW: 113 | GW: 105 | -15lbs]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:17:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz5ax/im_losing_my_mind/
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I finally lost 15lbs and was on track to lose more and here i am, eating literally everything, i haven’t been working out, everything is gonna get so screwed up and i cut all of my hair off and now i feel so ugly and stupid and i just want to cry and run away and i don’t want anyone to look at me or touch me or talk to me i fucking HATE THIS
[Rant/Rave] Bingeing non stop
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:12:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz3qk/bingeing_non_stop/
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I've been bingeing non stop for what seems like forever even though it's been like 2 weeks but I feel so upset and disappointed that I can't revert back to restricting. I didn't eat all day and I gave in and bought Burger King. Way to go!! You f-ed up your restriction!
I'm so sick and tired of this. I feel like crap and now I feel like purging everything I just ate, what a waste of money..
The Little Things..
/u/MishaDrools [5'1 | 121 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:03:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz1e2/the_little_things/
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Lately, the only thing that makes me feel more than depressed is small pride in the fact that I've only eaten 100 calories in a day. It's the little things, right?
I have an eating disorder
/u/eightstone [Height: 5ft 7 | CW: 8st 4lbs| BMI: 18.7 | Gender: F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:00:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz0n9/i_have_an_eating_disorder/
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This is a bit of a messy emotional rant, I'm sorry. I just want someone to know I'm struggling. I can't tell anyone that I know. I'm now underweight (8 stone), but not dangerously so. My heart rate is low (58), but not dangerously so. I don't have an eating disorder that warrants medical intervention and I'm grateful for that. But I'm weak. And I think obsessively about food and my body constantly. I binge ate yesterday, and today. My chest hurts so much. My stomach hurts so, so much. I've thrown up frequently today. I'll be back to 500 calories tomorrow. I'm worried that my heart is going to fail. I'm more worried about how much weight I'll have put on as a result of this binge.
I have a boyfriend now. As of about a week ago. He's amazing. He wanted me to come round for dinner this evening. I had to make my excuses as to why I couldn't. I feel like he's going to leave me because I'm fat, annoying, insecure, dumb, immature... I feel like he'll leave me when he realises I only look the way I do fraudulently. I'm a secret fatty. The ribs and the hipbones and the clavicles: they're not really me. I'm thin to the same degree that I'm blonde. I dye my hair. I don't eat. I'm a lie. If I were to recover he would have a fat girlfriend. Any compliments he makes about my appearance leave me feeling hollow. But he says he also likes that I'm smart: I'm doing a PhD. But wait, I can let him down here too. I'm falling way behind in my PhD work because most of the time I'm so foggy and mentally lethargic I can hardly put together a coherent argument. And I think "next binge-day you'll get loads of work done," and then binge-day rolls around and I spend my time crying and vomiting and clutching my distended, painful stomach and googling "refeeding syndrome" every time I feel a spasm in my chest. Everything hurts, and although I think I'm going to be fine today, I also think that in the end, this might be what kills me. I'll be found having had a heart attack while vomiting into a toilet. I so badly want to tell someone how afraid and conflicted I am right now. How alone and insane and inadequate I feel. To have someone tell me I'm not a failure. But I can never tell anyone. I have to be always brave and self assured and chill. I don't think it will ever go away. I can never, ever, ever tell anybody I have an eating disorder. Because I'm too fat, and because I'm not ready for treatment. And lets face it, nobody wants to find out their mate or new girlfriend is mentally ill: especially as I don't want to actually fix the issue but instead am happy to slip deeper into these obsessions while they are expected to just offer me sympathy from the sidelines.
I'm being an emotional fool today because binges do this to me. I'll feel better once I'm back to 500 calories a day. I'll feel in control of that aspect of my life at least. And the physical pain will be replaced with psychological cravings, the overcoming of which is a reward in itself. I just needed to get this off my chest.
I wish I could be really sick again
/u/queerjihad
Created: Sat Nov 3 18:00:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz0l1/i_wish_i_could_be_really_sick_again/
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I know it sounds weird and selfish but I miss being in psych wards. Nowadays I feel like everything in my life is so dull and repetitive. I'm not fully recovered and I feel like I'm not making any progress anymore. I'm expected to be a mature adult but I struggle to live up to that.
I miss yelling at my psychiatrist. I miss being in inpatient treatment and not having to worry about anything other than my ED. I miss living in a place where nurses would eat with me at every single meal, and where all of the food was locked up between meals. I miss crying. I miss dipping my hand in boiling water just to feel something.
Honestly, I wish I could express my feelings in childish ways and be guided through this mess rather than having to take responsibility for everything wrong in my life.
[Rant/Rave] Rant
/u/MaDamMim27
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:59:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tz0dx/rant/
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My dumbass roommate who I love hasn’t eaten in two days which is right when I started no eat November / no drink November (alcohol) she got a stomach virus and has spent the entire time throwing up and shitting out her insides. The first thing she ate this month was half a baked potato which was today. I literally want to kill her and die myself because even though I’m sitting at 0 cals for the day I had to work for it and she doesn’t even have an ED and also isn’t trying to lose weight!!!! FML
first c/s today/feel bad for wasting food
/u/unusualenby [4'11" | 75 lbs| -15 | 16.1 bmi | lv 19| no gender]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:57:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyzwk/first_cs_todayfeel_bad_for_wasting_food/
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So we went out to one of those “Southern kitchen” restaurants to get take out and I ate part of it in the car and the rest at home.
I really didn’t want the food (it was just. grossing me out. it didn’t even taste that good) and at home I chew and spat most of what I could, because I knew everything was pretty greasy.
I felt bad about it and bad about wasting food, but I would have just thrown it away anyway if I could. Really hoping c/s doesn’t become a habit.
Just had a grilled chicken sandwich and some cereal and I feel gross and full and awful for going over 1200.
[Discussion] ED "coming out"/admittance stories?
/u/lonelybeet [5'5" | 112.6 | 18.74 | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:57:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyzti/ed_coming_outadmittance_stories/
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Anyone feel like sharing their experiences with admitting their ED to a person they know irl? Who did you tell? How did they react? How did you feel getting it off your chest? What was your relationship with them like afterwards? Do you regret it?
I've been thinking a lot about divulging my unhealthy body image and relationship with food with my partner... But I'm fucking terrified about how it would be received... Worst case scenario would be that he'd just confirm that deep fear inside me saying that I'm not actually sick because I don't look it? Or I'm better off with this state of mind bc he'd like me to be skinnier? Or he believes me and pushes me to recover and forces me to eat or?? Idk. It feels crazy to be having all these thoughts take up most of my brain and not be able to share it with the person I share the rest of my life/thoughts with. I've been so distant with everyone I know because my body and food is literally all I think about all day from the moment I wake up to the moment I pass out. I feel like I'm living this double life and I just want to let it go and admit that I have a problem to the person who probably deserves to know the most.
[Intro] Oops back to square one lol
/u/TheCuntInTheRye [5'7 | 144 lbs | 22.6 | - | M]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:48:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyxek/oops_back_to_square_one_lol/
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I'm baaaaaaaack!
Just in time for the Holidays!!
After losing so much so quickly last time that I was threatened with hospitalization, I spent some time mellowin out, but here we are. Bummer, but y'know.
Surprised I'm not up at the 150s, honestly, but my body's always been dependable like that. When I'm not watching my weight, I always hover around 140-145.
Anyway, hello again!
I already messed up my November goal, but I'm not giving up
/u/soup_slut [5'5"|138|-39|25F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:46:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyx3r/i_already_messed_up_my_november_goal_but_im_not/
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I wasn't going to get drunk this month. I posted a couple days ago about "no-bender November" and well, Friday happened.
But that doesn't mean I have to wait until December for a new goal! It's all arbitrary. I'm still trying to better myself, and I'll start today. Or tomorrow. Or again next week.
Not meeting a goal doesn't mean my efforts are useless. Every decision that cuts my calories brings me closer to my goal. Every day I eat below maintenance is a win.
If only I believed anything I just wrote, lol. If only could believe in my own logic.
[Discussion] Recovery Updates
/u/sstephenn [Recovering 5'10 | 129.8/58.8 | 18.6 | -60/27.2 | Male ]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:44:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tywb4/recovery_updates/
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So I’m seeing a dietitian and gi doctor now and they’re both very nice and I like them a lot. I’m basically lying to both of them by saying it’s just appetite loss, but I’m pretty much set on recovery now cuz I’m scared of dying so I’m not telling them LOL. I have to do a STOOL SAMPLE and since I’m having trouble swallowing they’re doing like X-ray things where u swallow dye and stuff IDK. So yea um that’s where I’m at and my appetite still hasn’t came back so that’s mildly concerning to me 😎 but yea it’s ok I’m breaking out very badly and my hormones are through the roof so it’s basically like a 2nd puberty. My dietitian is having me drink milkshakes and I’ve been having them daily it has peanut butter, ice cream, whole milk, and a breakfast drink super good but probably a lot of calories but I’m too lazy to measure peanut butter but it’s definitely not the serving size. I’ve been through 2 jars of peanut butter already. I’m practically a peanut. Ok thank u for reading
[Discussion] Anyone else know the struggle of the heart shaped face?
/u/blackandwhitemoth [6'f | CW 161.75lbs | GW 150lbs | -28.25lbs |BMI 21.09 ]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:39:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyvaj/anyone_else_know_the_struggle_of_the_heart_shaped/
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I swear I could starve for the rest of eternity but still look like a whale because my jaw looks... meaty or something. I have a typical heart shaped face and I hate how it looks in ‘happy occasion’ photos, bc you have to smile and it spreads all your face fat out.
A while ago my boyfriend showed me a picture of us that his cousin took months ago and I immediately started sobbing because of how ugly and fat my face looked. I’m so embarrassed at the fact that his cousin saw me and that’s how I looked. Like that’s seriously what I look like??? And he’s not embarrassed to be seen with me??? My BMI was 22 at most in the photo which is not very small but fine, and my head looks like the head of someone much larger and I hate it. I’m only 7lbs away from my goal of 150lbs which would bring me to bmi 20 but honestly I hate my face so much I think I’ll need to be much scrawnier to start feeling okay in photos.
It doesn’t help that my boyfriends bmi is 17.5 or something and he has a softer jawline than me. Maybe my fat jaw will help me look young for longer or something? Tell me someone gets how I feel please lol
[Other] This.
/u/peppermintpumpkin [5’4” | CW 97lbs | BMI 16.6 | LW 24lbs | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:35:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyu9n/this/
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https://i.redd.it/2gipsm4ib7w11.jpg
[Discussion] I Haven’t Been Restricting and I Don’t Know What to Think About it
/u/_Pulltab_ [67"| CW 155| 24.2| -50| F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:25:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyrg0/i_havent_been_restricting_and_i_dont_know_what_to/
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I have been on a pretty solid restriction run for a while and have had a good run on the scale for the past week and a half after a long stall but the last couple of days I’ve just been so tired and run down and I’ve just been... eating like a normal person. Yesterday and today I haven’t been restricting (and thankfully I haven’t been binging). I also haven’t been watching carbs so I’m totally out of keto and of course the scale is up a couple of pounds.
On one hand I’m so disgusted with myself. I’ve been working so hard and I only have another 20 pounds or so to go and I’m blowing it. And right before the holidays when it will be 100 times harder. On the other I’m so. Freaking. Tired. Tired of constantly being afraid of putting shit in my mouth and starving all day so I can look like a normal person at dinner with my family. Tired of waking up and immediately wondering what my scale is going to do to my day.
I want to keep going. But I want to stop.
I don’t know what the point of this is. I’m just... tired.
[Discussion] purposeful binging
/u/patroclues
Created: Sat Nov 3 17:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tykgg/purposeful_binging/
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has anyone ever.... purposefully binged because the you of the moment knows that this is a moment of clarity and will slow their compulsive weight loss? my weight is so unhealthy now and im starting to experience a lot of bad health effects from this and i cant stop myself but maybe i can slow it down?
i really dont think im the only one who has done this but this is an absolute wild tunnel of thought that im going down today
[Rant/Rave] I gained it all back and I'm so angry
/u/rachelway82
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:55:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyj7y/i_gained_it_all_back_and_im_so_angry/
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I lost 150 pounds. It probably wasn't in the healthiest way, but I did it. I kept it off for years. And everything was fucking fine. Then they made me go to treatment. I started dating this guy on March and he made me eat. I kept telling everyone if I start eating I won't stop. They kept telling me it would be fine. I finally gave in and started listening to them. Then I started eating. And eating. And eating. And I couldn't stop. I've gained 100 pounds in the past 10 months. I'm obese. None of my clothes fit. I miss my collar bones. I loved my collar bones. Everything is ruined because they wouldn't fucking listen to me. I was right. But now I can't find the discipline to go back. It was a miracle I found it the first time. I am so angry, at them and at myself. I should never have given in.
im going to die of embarrassment
/u/Amoryed
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:41:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyfit/im_going_to_die_of_embarrassment/
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i had a clear ziploc bag of c&s food on my bed and i didnt realize it was there and it was so obvious and
​
i came back and my roommates parents were in the room and they didnt say anything they just kind of looked at me
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and i didnt realize what had happened until i came out of the bathroom and they had left FUCK
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im pretty sure my roommate knew i had an ED but i never did anything like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fucking hate having an eating disorder why can't i eat normally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
​
what the fuck how will i ever recover from this i look so weird now wtf wtf
[Help] i feel like i'm losing control and it's scary
/u/lilllyyy [5'7"| 119.8lb | 18.7 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:37:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyek5/i_feel_like_im_losing_control_and_its_scary/
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....or at least restriction. which feels like my entire life tbh and the only thing that makes me feel "together." but do we ever really have control? idk that's a convo for a different time lol
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so the good news is that about two weeks ago i got my dream job! but it requires me moving literally across the country in a matter of weeks. every since that news, i feel like i've lost track of restricting. but i want to keep losing weight so badly. i'll have like 5-6 good days and then eat normally for a few, then go back to restricting etc. I know i've been super stressed about the move and trying to get everything in order so on one hand i'm like "hey maybe i need the nutrients right now and need to cool it?" on the other hand, day after day of not counting calories and eating 'normally' makes me feel like i'm about to explode because i just have so many thoughts in my head and no matter what i eat, all i can think about is how i've already eaten too much, how i've stopped losing, and how i need to get back on track to feel remotely sane. it's mental hell.
​
Normally stress makes me restrict more, but this time it's making me anxious and wanting to snack all the time and crawl under a hole and forget this entire move & new job. People have noticed something seems "off" with me, but when they ask i obviously can't say "Well look I feel effing disgusting because i'm having a hard time restricting right now but i have a deep seeded need to lose weight and look like a skeleton and i feel like i'm losing control of the one thing i have control over lol how are you" because.... yeah.i just lie and say i'm stressed about the move.
​
anyways, any advice? any way to help stick to restricting and feel a little more calm about everything? or should i accept eating more temporarily? my fear is that if i "give up" so to speak then i will get to my new city and start gaining weight and never get to my goal. idk
At what point do you stop driving?
/u/kayteesays
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:35:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tydww/at_what_point_do_you_stop_driving/
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I don't think I'm there yet, but eventually I expect I will be. (Not doing great right now, to be honest.) Is there a specific BMI cutoff or range where it's considered unsafe to drive?
I am big on electrolytes and vitamins, and try to eat before I drive anywhere. My work commute is only about 10 minutes with stoplights, so I really don't drive much anymore anyway.
[Discussion] DAE Have a Complete Lack of a Sex Drive?
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:30:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyco0/dae_have_a_complete_lack_of_a_sex_drive/
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For reference, I'm a 24 year old female. Im taking an antidepressant (I've been on various ones since I was 18) and I know that they can cause that side effect, but my ED REALLY makes it worse. When I restrict, I'm too exhausted and i don't even care. When I binge, I feel disgusting and don't want my boyfriend to see my gross body. I don't feel sexual. I don't get 'turned on.' Am I crazy???
[Help] Has juul helped anyone lose weight?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:24:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tyaul/has_juul_helped_anyone_lose_weight/
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I was going to start juul as a replacement for my c/s habit because it’s really starting to hurt my stomach and it’s hindering my weight loss.
Does juul help at all or should I not even bother?
[Discussion] Does anyone else hate wearing jeans?
/u/xrnz [5'5 | CW120 | 20 | GW100 | 19F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:20:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ty9s0/does_anyone_else_hate_wearing_jeans/
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Ugh, I've been avoiding wearing jeans/trousers because
1) I hate the way they emphasise my body shape and having my body outline be visible to everyone makes me super uncomfortable
2) Putting them on is a struggle
3) I'm terrified of trying to get them on to find out they no longer fit me
[Discussion] I hit my lowest weight since elementary school
/u/lfhduivti
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:15:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ty8hl/i_hit_my_lowest_weight_since_elementary_school/
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Which is not even something to be proud of. I was a fat kid and wore a size 11 in the 6th grade.
And I still feel fat. It’s still not enough. I’m not skinny like the pretty girls. My coworkers joke about me never eating and I don’t even care anymore. Things have to be done to be attractive again. I don’t even understand how I managed to get guys in the past. I’m so disgusting now, imagine then!
But then again who would date a dumb bitch with an eating disorder? Guess I’m screwed either way because maybe it was never about the weight to begin with.
Sorry I needed to share this with someone who would kinda get it.
[Help] I was just starting to recover, and now I think my boyfriend is relapsing.
/u/strungnendearing
Created: Sat Nov 3 16:00:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ty4bc/i_was_just_starting_to_recover_and_now_i_think_my/
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When we met it was great to not be pestered about eating. I did not eat a single bite of food in front of him for almost a year.
Now we’re happily living together, I’m in a much more active job and maintaining my barely-underweight LW (or even losing, then working hard to bounce back up) no matter how much I eat. I pig out constantly and drop 2 lbs. I’m eating more calories, more protein, and actually thinking I can sustain my lifestyle and my weight. I’m gaining muscle and energy and it feels GOOD.
But my boyfriend, who had maintained or built muscle up to now, is suddenly skinny. He has a history of EDs. I’d worried that he was losing before but I saw him clearly just the other day, basically wasting away in front of me.
I don’t know what to do. My ED is screaming “YOUR ‘RECOVERY’ MADE HIM LIKE THIS! You know what to do...restrict.” I know that’s incorrect, probably, but in my mind only one of us can be well. If I’m okay, he suffers.
I try to tell him about my efforts to eat—foods that make it easier, high-protein good-tasting snacks, remind him that he’s way taller and needs more calories than I do (when he seems hesitant to eat more than me). I sometimes say I’m hungry and would like to grab something to eat, and he agrees but eats less than me and talks about how full he is. His job is just as, or maybe more active than mine.
This feels like hell. I don’t know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Okay so my best friend is triggering af
/u/malxee
Created: Sat Nov 3 15:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ty19p/okay_so_my_best_friend_is_triggering_af/
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She’s like 40kgs, and recently (past like 5 months) she’s lost her appetite for some stupid reason, so she keeps asking me to count her calories for her, because google isn’t a thing hahahahah, and she eats around 500 calories a day and sometimes less and it just triggers me the heck out, I try my best to make her eat more and I care for her but she just triggers me so much and I just sufnuandbhabdjsvsnsbsja
She also doesn’t stop comparing about how a size 00 is too big for her, and how XS is way too big and I just dhefhfhsbdjsbdjs
Make it stop pls
Note: she knows I have an eating disorder
Jealousy and resentment
/u/Lunaseki
Created: Sat Nov 3 15:45:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ty07h/jealousy_and_resentment/
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First time post, long time avid lurker <3 I had been afraid to comment before, so I made an account that I wouldn’t be judged for posting here.
So, I really just need to rant. I’ve been working at my job for over a year. I made friends with a woman who’s my age, much skinner (like really underweight) who I trained for the job. Long story short she’s now been given a supervisor position... today’s her first day in charge of me.
I feel so, so awful having someone who was my equal and my friend suddenly telling me what to do. I’ve been failing at restricting lately too so I started a liquid fast today and now I feel like I have to win at SOMETHING. Does anyone else ever have something like this happen, that really makes them feel slighted, so they have to restrict harder?
Here’s hoping I can actually manage to restrict though. I’ve been binging for weeks, and I feel awful because of it.
[Intro] Back on my bullshit!
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 110lbs | 16.54 | F | 22]
Created: Sat Nov 3 15:30:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txw6w/back_on_my_bullshit/
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Decided to finally make an intro post (or re-intro)! Some of you might remember me from a while ago. I had to go into treatment and was made to gain so much weight (50 lbs). My experience in treatment this time was terrible - it did more harm than good and that's why I'm back! Other than being force fed and receiving ECT, I experienced some trauma which really fucked me up, but that's a story for another time. I've lost about half of the weight I gained already and I am ready to lose the rest! I've realized that life isn't for me. I will never be happy - I'll have depression for the rest of my life. That isn't a life I want to live, so I will be starving myself to death.
​
I'm excited to be back. I've been feeling so isolated from everyone since going into hospital - so I'm glad to finally have a community again
[Discussion] I saw this on 1200isplenty and thought it was a "what I ate today" post from an ED sub at first
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 3 15:26:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txv3h/i_saw_this_on_1200isplenty_and_thought_it_was_a/
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https://i.redd.it/ya4lng5ho6w11.png
[Rant/Rave] i feel so unwanted & not loved
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Sat Nov 3 15:19:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txsvg/i_feel_so_unwanted_not_loved/
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time to restrict :(
[Rant/Rave] I HATE When People Comment on What I'm Eating...
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Nov 3 15:16:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txs9l/i_hate_when_people_comment_on_what_im_eating/
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I love my boyfriend, but he really pisses me off sometimes. The other day, I was furious at him.
I had just gotten off work about an hour ago. I was doing my OMAD which is always at night. I got out a can of low sodium chicken and wild rice soup and poured it into a bowl. My boyfriend comes into the kitchen to get something I can't eat, looks at the soup and says, "That looks disgusting. It's so watery." I GOT SO MAD I WAS SO CLOSE TO JUST DUMPING IT OUT AND JUST NOT EATING.
I gave him a dirty look and said, "Why would you say that?" I was just hurt because I hadn't eaten anything all day besides vitamins and coffee. I tend to get very emotional when restricting. I become quite irritable and often overreact. However, this just hurt my feelings for some reason.
Unlike my 6'2 145lb boyfriend, I can't eat whatever I want and stay skinny. I have to WORK for it. I have to eat under 1000 calories a day to lose weight (I'm 5'2 94lbs).
Was I overreacting or was it wrong of him to say that? ):
Friend is going to inpatient-packing list?
/u/JBL95
Created: Sat Nov 3 15:10:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txqhg/friend_is_going_to_inpatientpacking_list/
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Hey all, my friend is going to inpatient on Monday and I was wondering if you guys had some suggestions for things that wouldn't be on the packing list they gave her, but that she would be glad to have! Thanks in advance.
[Rant/Rave] 0.5kg of water retention
/u/isaezraa [165 cm | cw 52 | gw 48 | 16 f ]
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:56:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txmiy/05kg_of_water_retention/
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fuck my life, yesterday i ate 400cals of food (with like, *barely* any sodium) and another 400cals of alcohol (ty double blacks for the nutritional information) and i forgot to drink water while i was out, so now im retaining at *least* 500g of water, probably more, and im going to have to wait until tomorrow morning to see the number go down again, and what if im just back to where i was yesterday? i also have to go to waterpolo training today so while that’s calories burnt thats going to probably make me retain too and UGH fuck i just wish there was a way to weigh your “true” weight
When I'm fasting and trying to resist cravings I make clay foods
/u/workbootsed
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:25:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txdtd/when_im_fasting_and_trying_to_resist_cravings_i/
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https://i.redd.it/8m4zzakid6w11.jpg
passed out last night
/u/strawberrypey
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txcpc/passed_out_last_night/
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I scared the shit out of my boyfriend last night. I had eaten blackberries that morning but worked a shift from 3-10. We also smoked a little bowl when I got off and when we were coming inside I literally passed out. I’m not sure if it was from smoking or not eating enough but my heart felt like it was about to give out. I want to make sure this doesn’t happen again, any tips?
Who else loves pooping?
/u/lemonbasilthyme [5'3" | 91.9 lbs | 16.3 BMI | GW: 89 lbs | 29F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:16:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txban/who_else_loves_pooping/
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That feeling when you FINALLY take a successful shit, am I right?
Every time I glanced at the mirror this week, I thought I looked fucking pregnant (seriously the worst abdominal distension I’ve ever experienced in my life). You all know what it’s like.
Laxatives finally kicked in after several days and... I just lost 2.7 lbs between morning weigh-in and the post-toilet check. That’s even having eaten breakfast in the interim.
So I just Googled it, and apparently I was carrying the equivalent of a fetus at 29-30 weeks!!! I LITERALLY LOOKED SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT, WTF
Think I’ve set a personal record here, but goddamn I feel a million times better. Anyone else have horror stories to share?
[Rant/Rave] Can't believe I'm here again...
/u/dj_thrives
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:14:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txaot/cant_believe_im_here_again/
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Before this summer, I was in remission for 3 1/2 years. I relapsed a little bit in August/July but I was able to get myself back to a healthier headspace. But I'm so weak. I'm back again. My mom is suspicious and I hate myself for making her worry. I just want to be better than this.
[Rant/Rave] mom vs me eating disorder
/u/neptunestatss
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:12:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9txa1p/mom_vs_me_eating_disorder/
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just sent a selfie to my mom before going to a concert. i’m finally down to 109 and my mom is actually at 120 (I can’t remember the last time I was skinnier than her) and she has the AUDACITY to tell me I should be at 115. she went to ED rehab after I went to ED rehab, shes always trying to have her problems be the worst etc etc etc. fuck you mom i’m finally skinnier than you and I will do everything it takes to stay that way.
Instagram
/u/efffervescence [5'6 | 102 | 16.99]
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:02:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tx720/instagram/
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idk if this is the place for facial dysmorphia or because my face is fat or what but every single time i upload selfies to instagram i get less likes on my pictures than i do with my friends and tim ales me feel so shit and is just confirmation that i’m the ugly one :( i feel so stupid typing this because i know literally having panic attacks uploading to insta is SUCH a first world problem but it actually really bothers me
[Rant/Rave] I think I’m going insane
/u/gtfo_cassidy
Created: Sat Nov 3 14:01:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tx6sm/i_think_im_going_insane/
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Hi long time lurker but I have to get this off my chest to people who won’t look at me strange. I’m 5’3 and 92 pounds and yes I know medically I’m underweight and yes I know I technically have a low bmi and yes I restrict but why do I still look fat? When I look in the mirror I don’t see someone who’s in the low 90’s. When I try to take pictures of my legs why do they look so fucking huge why do the chest buttons on my new xs dress from h&m that doesn’t fucking fit strain like they’re about to pop off it’s not fair I just want to be tiny, delicate, with legs that seem to go on for miles yet it’s all for nothing still don’t look skinny, still look short, and still too big for an h&m xs
[Other] can anyone guess which days i binged on?
/u/h8bb
Created: Sat Nov 3 13:57:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tx5jp/can_anyone_guess_which_days_i_binged_on/
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https://i.redd.it/q8deurtf86w11.jpg
I think my sister may have an ED. What should I do?
/u/chemitree
Created: Sat Nov 3 13:35:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twzei/i_think_my_sister_may_have_an_ed_what_should_i_do/
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I have been so self-absorbed about my own dysfunctional eating habits, that I didn't notice the signs of an ED in my older sister. Yesterday, we went to a spa and I noticed she had random bruises all over her leg and when I asked her about them she said she didn't know how they got there. For some reason that flipped a switch in my brain and I realized I've never really seen her eat. When we go out to dinner she always takes a few bites and tells me she had a big lunch, but she also never saved the leftovers "because they weren't that good anyways". She's lost a ton of weight, but I didn't notice until I really compared her pictures from a few months ago. I feel really stupid and selfish for not noticing earlier.
​
I'm asking for advice from this sub because I really want to be as emphatic as possible. I don't want to make her feel bad about herself or demand she go to a therapist. So any advice? Should I say/do something? I just don't want her to be suffering alone if I can do something.
Finally left the 150's!!!
/u/fefebear
Created: Sat Nov 3 13:31:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twy6b/finally_left_the_150s/
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Ok so technically I am in the 140s now. I weighed myself today and it was 149.4. That counts right? I started restricting end of September at 162lbs. Only eating 800 calories, sometimes 1200 (if I had a bad day). I still "binge" but I log everything and try to distribute those extra calories throughout the week, so I can still lose 2lbs/week. I hope I don't fall behind and just keep going with this.
​
Here are some pics if you want to see my disgusting body NSFW [https://imgur.com/a/BxKBUro](https://imgur.com/a/BxKBUro)
How much water/waste weight can the body actually retain?
/u/ThrowawayTAIU
Created: Sat Nov 3 13:25:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twwdq/how_much_waterwaste_weight_can_the_body_actually/
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So I had two binge days this week (Wednesday and Friday) , I haven't even pooped yet but I've been drinking plenty of water and I'm still up almost 3 lbs since last weekend...
I had 3000 calories on Wednesday and around 2500 yesterday, my maintenance is around 1700-1800 so it's not possible to have gained this much fat right?
I'm just freaking out bc Im drinking water so I shouldn't be retaining this much but also I shouldn't weigh myself the day after a binge but I can't help it and I hate being one kilo up. It makes me feel like such a failure.
In your experience, how much do you retain after a binge?? And how quickly do you lose it?
Just need some reassurance and advice and love bc I just want to cry
[Discussion] One thing I love about my ED...
/u/lizbites
Created: Sat Nov 3 13:13:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twt40/one_thing_i_love_about_my_ed/
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Is that it’s turned me on to so many yummy spices!
You can make a bowl of cucumber slices taste like a full meal with the right mix of spices.
Currently eating my cukes with basil, thyme, oregano, salt, pepper, and a little bit of white vinegar. Yum yum yum!
Nearly passed out after sex?
/u/imrevolting [5'6 |CW: 154 | GW1: 140| Lost: 10 lbs | Fat F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 13:13:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twt26/nearly_passed_out_after_sex/
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Hi y’all!
Nearly passed out during hot shower sex. I had already drank half a Powerade zero that day so I thought my electrolytes were fine! Maybe the heat and intensity contributed? Any pre-sex or uh... pre-“vigorous exercise” rituals that you all have to stay in the game? Would love some tips. Thanks!!
[Discussion] DAE feel like their low weight wasn't even that low?
/u/ballerina_inprogress [5'5"|CW:112|HW:165|GW:98|-53 lbs|27F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:50:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twm7b/dae_feel_like_their_low_weight_wasnt_even_that_low/
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Looking back on things, I am realizing that I didn't even look *that* small or underweight at my low weight, which was 104 lbs many years ago. When I see pictures from that time, I look pretty normal, slender for sure, but not underweight or anorexic looking at all. Even though I felt large and wanted to lose more, I still also felt that I was much smaller than I actually looked like when I see photos now. Idk if that makes sense. Its annoying and part of the reason that I've lowered my UGW.
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like your constantly fighting your body shape?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:49:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twlxk/anyone_else_feel_like_your_constantly_fighting/
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[deleted]
[Other] A customer bought me chocolate
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:40:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twjdx/a_customer_bought_me_chocolate/
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Really, really good chocolate. I used to work in the bakery at my grocery store and I always gave her the best slice of whatever dessert she was getting. But I recommend this chocolate to her and now she’s hooked and it’s BOGO so she gave me one. I’m really happy but conflicted. There’s 15 pieces and they’re 30 calories each. Maybe I’ll just eat one a day. Help
I opened Facebook first thing this morning and saw a picture I was tagged in last night. Day ruined.
/u/MailingMaize [5'1.5 | CW: 106 | BMI 20.5 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:24:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twek9/i_opened_facebook_first_thing_this_morning_and/
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I actually felt ok about myself and liked my outfit, too.
Anyone else?
Dad bought me surprise cinnamon rolls from a donut shop that doesnt list cals?
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:22:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twdy2/dad_bought_me_surprise_cinnamon_rolls_from_a/
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(sorry for the awful picture, fluorescent lights, shaky hands, and a low quality phone camera are not a good mix) Anyone have any estimate of how many calories could be in these? I'm only eating the half one today because im sure if i ate both it'd absolutely kill my calorie count for today but they look sooooo good and i dont wanna make my dad feel bad
https://i.redd.it/qaoqu496r5w11.jpg
[Help] Help getting back on track?
/u/grace_ed
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:16:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twcdu/help_getting_back_on_track/
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So a little more than a month ago I went through a rough breakup which sent me into a binge cycle causing me to gain about 5lbs. I’m maintaining now, but I need to get my eating under control and start losing again. However, every time I low restrict for two or three days, or try to fast I end up binging. Any tips to get back on track?
[Rant/Rave] Why: I throw up everything in large quantity when sick/have bug/flu, but when I make myself purge it comes out in little pathetic small chunks???
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:14:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9twbrq/why_i_throw_up_everything_in_large_quantity_when/
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I mean I get it: your body’s like gtfo to everything when you got a virus, but why tf can’t the chunks come out as much at once in the same not-as-dry-or-difficult manner?!
Any of you have an easy time purging? Or no?
[Discussion] Anyone eat whatever they like as long as it’s within their calorie allowance ?
/u/wastedspacecat
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:03:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tw8bx/anyone_eat_whatever_they_like_as_long_as_its/
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I’m not into fads, I’m not into , “don’t drink juice “, don’t eat potatoes , don’t eat fruit, don’t eat candy, etc. As long as what I consume is under whatever my Low calorie allowance is for the day I eats . It makes me feel like I’ll be less likely to be questioned . Anyone else?
[Help] Anyone in the UK know where to get low calorie breads/wraps/etc?
/u/lonelybeet [5'5" | 112.6 | 18.74 | 21F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 12:03:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tw8bn/anyone_in_the_uk_know_where_to_get_low_calorie/
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I'm not sure why it's been so difficult (compared to Canada and the US) to find a carby slice of satisfaction under 60kcals per serving... I've been living here for months now and I'm still searching everyday!!!
On that note, I've also noticed that liquid egg whites arent something I can expect to find at any grocery store.. unlike when i was living in the us/Canada... why????
I just want to eat my favourite safe foods again :-( pls help a girl out
[Help] i need someone to hold me accountable
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Sat Nov 3 11:56:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tw667/i_need_someone_to_hold_me_accountable/
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posting this now even though i won’t start until tomorrow.
i’ve been binging for a week and haven’t weighed myself. and its been bad. i was 101 lb on sunday but i think i must be at least 106 lb by now. its been nonstop candy, icecream and fast food all week and now i feel like shit. i want to get to 98 lb by november 15th, but god knows if thats even possible anymore.
is anyone else in this same position and wants to be accountability buddies? i’m going to start fasting tomorrow and hold out on weighing myself for as long as possible i think
[Help] If heartbreak kills your appetite, wow I was not ready for "dying friend from children appetite suppression"
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_
Created: Sat Nov 3 11:54:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tw5ma/if_heartbreak_kills_your_appetite_wow_i_was_not/
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Haha this is so shitty and I don't even want to restrict right now. I feel numb and shock and sobbing mood swings. I know it's normal to not feel like eating but combined with my ED this won't end well...
Sorry for the rant. This feels so narcissistic but I had to keep it together to volunteer this morning and check in on mutual friends and message their parents... fuck....
What thing a celebrity has said about weight in any aspect, has stuck with you the most?
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 11:49:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tw44v/what_thing_a_celebrity_has_said_about_weight_in/
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This title has no way of not sounding stupid give it a chance : Does anyone feel litterly heavy?
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 11:39:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tw1de/this_title_has_no_way_of_not_sounding_stupid_give/
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Now Ive been having mental olympics with this excessive desire to be thin and this unquenchable desire to stuff my face. And because its been such a long batlle every now and then it morphs and becomes even weirder. I noticed that lately I feel litterly heavy. Like the gravity got turned up. Not heavy like my weight, heavy like my arms are harder to lift? When I walk I feel like I waddle now even though I didnt gain any weight. When I lay down and I have to get up it feels like its so hard because Im so heavy? Its not harder to my move my body but I feel like ... Like I'm wearing these heavy weights everywhere. Which means my disease has quite litterly morphed into a physical hallucination. In the morning before ive eaten I feel like a ballerina. And as soon as I start ( and do NOT stop ) I feel so heavy. Like how weird can this get. By all accounts I am, medically, insane. How can one person, have only 2 desires in the world. All I want is to lose weight. And all I want is to eat untill I die. It sounds like a sick joke?
Anyone else's family have or had an ED?
/u/xStingx
Created: Sat Nov 3 11:36:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tw0ay/anyone_elses_family_have_or_had_an_ed/
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As a kid (second oldest of 5) I was oblivious to my mom having an ED. Too focused on the fact that she was a great mom. We ended up moving abruptly when I was 13. I'm talking Monday I was in the backyard playing with my best friends and then Tuesday we left our house, our clothes, and the state. At the time, I didn't know why mom was making the great escape but as I grew older, I understood. She was abused, mentally and physically, stalked by her ex husband who threatened to kill her several times. When we left, we had no lights, no hot water, nothing. Fast forward, new state, my mom's identity totally changed. She was no longer the woman I knew. One day, my 22 year old sister told 19 year old me to 'look at the signs.' And after she broke everything down, I'd found out my mom had been bulimic for years! I was shocked and quite sad that my mom had to result to such lows. My mother was a runner, well still is, so as you can imagine, her weight dropped significantly and we all figured it was because she ran so much. Other things pointed out how disgusted she was with herself. Her constant need for validation on her body, hundreds of selfies in her phone that she would beg me to make sure was up to postable standards. I started gaining weight when I was 14, which is around the time my period started. My mom gave me hell for it. She never wanted to take me out with her and made comments about how I need to lose weight. My grandmother was no better. She was much less considerate about it and pointed out everything as if I didn't see my own body changing. By 15 I was the fattest of all 5 of my siblings. I weighed around 155 pounds at 5'6. And my weight just went up and up until one day I saw 205 on my scale, I was around 23 years old. I've always hated myself. I ate because food was good and made me feel happy because no one else did. I avoided mirrors like the plague, never ever took photos with other people, and made it a point to write in my journal every night about how disgusting of a person I was that even my own family disliked me. I'll never forget visiting the car wash with my mom when I was 17 and her telling me ''You're not ugly, you just need to lose weigh then maybe boys will like you. '' or her telling me how jealous I was of my younger, much much skinner sister and that I'm miserable and hate myself. One time I refused to take my jacket off on a hot day because I was ashamed of my body and my mother told me, ''Take your jacket off, that's what you get for eating so much.'' What I really hated was how when you'd talk to someone, family or not, and their eyes would shift to your body and you know what their thinking. You just do. I never understood why my mom threw up her food. I always thought my mom was beautiful, not because men loved her, or because she has friends jealous of her, but because she just was.
I didn't know I'd end up like her. Last year I remember briefly viewing the anorexia tags on tumblr, seeing posts about how people were eating 100 calories, 400 calories a day. I could not believe it. *Those people are fucked up!* I thought to myself. A few months later, and here I am. My ED gave me no time to figure out if this was what I wanted or not. It preyed on me. A girl who had always seen her self as nothing more than the dirt she swept under the rug. It saw me and it took me. But, it was only a matter of time. And now I'm just like my mother, water running, hands down my throat day after day. Sometimes I'm never sure if I'm reaching for food anymore. I say I can't take this much longer but what does much longer even mean? I have zero plans to stop.
I guess that's my story. Well, just the highlights. Sorry for the long read.
Feeling crappy because I could only do a third of a hot yoga class.
/u/Throwthisaway512
Created: Sat Nov 3 11:23:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvwgj/feeling_crappy_because_i_could_only_do_a_third_of/
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The mirrors really bugged me today, I wasn't wearing the most flattering yoga pants and it showed. I thought I could hide behind my expensive clothes and I still felt like a fake. I was the biggest person there except the instructor. I couldn't get out my head and literally felt sick looking at my fat reflection.
I did try and give it my all. I'll keep restricting and this is nightmare fuel to keep me going at least :)
But I just can't shake off this feeling that I'm super hideous. Especially now, it's scary. I know I'm not as perfect than I was before.
Anyways I'm dehydrated so I'm probably rambling. I hope y'all day goes better than mine.
Cheers.
Down to 122 again and stayed there?
/u/JackFallsDown
Created: Sat Nov 3 11:08:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvrr0/down_to_122_again_and_stayed_there/
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I finally got down to 122lbs two days ago, but yesterday I ended up binging on a ton of full sized candy bars and thought my progress would be screwed. Woke up this morning, went to weigh myself (before having a BM) and found myself still at 122.0lbs.
I have no idea how that happened but I'm thrilled I didnt gain a single pound. And I'm excited I might weigh even less once I finally use the restroom. Woo for all of that candy weight randomly disappearing!
[Rant/Rave] Recovery is fucking impossible
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:42:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvk9g/recovery_is_fucking_impossible/
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I am trying but I just....can’t. I’m a healthy weight to begin with and I have a good life worth fighting for but I just...CAN’T. :(
Where do you guys shop for clothes, especially winter coats?
/u/pokipokitoki
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:42:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvk5a/where_do_you_guys_shop_for_clothes_especially/
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# TW: Numbers (weight; clothing sizes)
# ----
So I'm 5'2" and 84 lbs, and yesterday when I went to TJ Maxx to find affordable winter clothes that would fit, everything in the women's and junior's section was too big. It's getting really cold over here and I really don't want to wear something that's basically gonna make me feel like Bigfoot all winter. Any help would be greatly appreciated <3
[Rant/Rave] Just want to curl into a ball and never move
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:31:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvgzq/just_want_to_curl_into_a_ball_and_never_move/
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I’ve been trying so hard to get down to 90lbs. I got to 92 over the summer and now I’ve just been yo-yoing between 97 and 100 or so....yesterday I was feeling okay at 97, new month, figured I’d get it under control. Nope. Had a mini-binge at work. Ate Lattice fries, cake, 2 pieces of pizza, 2 beers - all things I never eat. Ate around 2,500 calories but still burned around 2,000 at work so I didn’t think it would be so bad but nope, just saw the highest weight on the scale in over a year...104...how did I gain 7lbs when I barely ate 500 calories over what I burned? I can’t believe that number. How is it impossible for me to go from 97 to 90 but I can go from 97 to 104 in less than 24 hours? I never want to eat again but obviously all I can think about is food and how much I want to eat. Help. How do I get through a 10 hour shift at a restaurant without eating tonight?
what is your long-term plan?
/u/kitt_3n [5'2 | CW: 104 | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:30:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvgn8/what_is_your_longterm_plan/
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I fluctuate between:
1) Trying to inflict as much harm to myself as possible and just rapidly losing weight with the intention of dying
and
2) Trying to maintain some long-term low-but-not-terribly-unhealthy weight with moderate restriction.
The second option is usually what I gravitate toward when my mood is better and I feel somewhat optimistic about life. When I'm less depressed I tend to veer toward orthorexic style of eating with exercise, perfectionist tendencies, etc. When I'm really depressed I'm okay with having the "unhealthy" items like gum, diet coke, etc, I don't exercise, and I don't give two shits about my health. Either way, the eating disorder never goes. So what do you guys envision for yourself long term?
[Rant/Rave] I want to cosplay a bunny girl
/u/ManicPixieBallerina
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:25:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvfdx/i_want_to_cosplay_a_bunny_girl/
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I saw a lot of really fun bunny girl cosplays at the last con I went to. But I hate my body and attention on my body much more than I could ever be happy with some silly costume.
Besides, I probably couldn't make a good one anyway.
[Help] Struggling not to hate myself after a day of eating like shit
/u/cervidaes [5’4 | CW: ugh | GW: 125 | UGW: 115]
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:23:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvevv/struggling_not_to_hate_myself_after_a_day_of/
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So yesterday I ended up eating Burger King for lunch because my friend wanted to go there and I didn’t really know how to say no, I didn’t binge but still ate some, then we got drunk and I drank a shit ton of calories and ended up eating half a 12” pizza .... I was too scared to log anything after I had already went over 1200 and wasn’t even halfway done logging but I’m really struggling right now not to punish myself or hate myself.
It feels like the end of the world for some reason and I feel like I’m gonna be fat forever. I’ve been trying to stay healthy and not restrict and I’ve lost 5 pounds in the last month. Now I feel like I’ve undone it all, I can’t weigh myself until Monday morning and I’m terrified that I’ve just fucked everything up even though I know logically I didn’t gain 5 pounds with one shit day ......
I feel right now like I will be fat forever and will never ever lose weight. I’m really struggling with the urge to just fast until Monday so that when I weigh myself it won’t be as upsetting ....
How do you deal with those feelings? I really hate myself right now,’it wasn’t even a binge, just an unhealthy day but the type of day many people I’m sure have once in a while .... but I feel like a disgusting failure and I feel obese. I only have about 15 pounds to lose to an under 25 BMI and it feels like I will never even get there much less to my GW
I just want to give up and starve myself
What do I do
[Help] How can I help my wife
/u/flyinfart
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:20:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvdve/how_can_i_help_my_wife/
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My wife has never had a healthy relationship with food.
When I met her, we were both big into fitness. She was injured in a fun run though, and ever since her exercise patterns have dropped to nothing. I try to encourage eating according to your caloric usage, but I think it just comes across as criticism.
She's lately been completely avoiding food. When she does eat, she binges like crazy. She'll make me lunches and dinners and not touch a thing. I'll offer to make her food, but she refuses everything. Even her weird diet foods, like oatmeal with chia and flax seeds.
The cherry on top for me is her weight loss is getting insane. When I feel her legs now, it's little string beans on bone instead of her nice, muscular legs she used to have.
What kind of encouragement can I give her? How can I approach this? I don't feel like I can say, honey, I think you're dieting is turning into anorexia. Can I? How do you tell your wife, who hates therapists, that maybe she should see one that specializes in eating disorders as well as the one she's seeing for anxiety and depression?
[Rant/Rave] My fucking donuts
/u/LuluTheLoli
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:19:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvdi0/my_fucking_donuts/
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I bought donuts for the first time in months from a little shop on my way to rehearsal, so that I could have two and the directors and managers could eat. I put them with my bag, in a seat in the auditorium.
The head director had someone put them out for the breakfast line, without telling me, and I didn’t get any of them. My friends who I bought them for didn’t get any either. What the fuck.
Guess it’s just the universe saying i’m still not done losing weight.
[Other] Stupid almonds
/u/fish110 [5'4"|CW125|GW110|F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:09:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tvaqz/stupid_almonds/
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So I just did something really weird. I'm fasting, and I usually always cave in for almonds cause I'm addicted to them. I took out some almonds, put them in front of my face, and stuck one in my nose. I have no idea why but it made the cravings go away lol.
the pain and joy of relapse
/u/kitt_3n [5'2 | CW: 104 | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 10:03:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tv8pt/the_pain_and_joy_of_relapse/
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Hi everyone,
I have been in "recovery" for about 5 months following residential treatment.
If anything, my quality of life has worsened after the weight gain and normalization of eating. My mental health is extremely poor and eating disorder aside, I am coping very badly with life. My depression has not improved with eating disorder remission and I seriously do not know how I am going to continue on unless I just relapse.
I have no specific diet plans, goal weights, blah blah ... I've just been eating progressively less and have become more preoccupied with my weight. Feelings of disgust and shame are very high right now.
​
20 POUNDS DOWN
/u/tipsytoess
Created: Sat Nov 3 09:59:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tv7gu/20_pounds_down/
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I can't believe I'm actually here! I've lost 20 pounds since my relapse on Sept 22 and my body fat scale says that I'm now out of the 'acceptable' body fat range and into 'athletic'. I'm super super shocked because I had a b/p fest after a 46 hour fast last night. Of course we don't have any 'unhealthy' foods in the house so I was basically eating soup, eggs, and Fiber One bars. I'm also finally starting to get stares and questions from my coworkers such as 'Did you have lunch?' 'What do you eat?' 'You're so tiny because you never eat, huh?' and it just feels so good and validating! I'm so so so happy!
[Discussion] I met a girl! How to not let my ED fuck it or me up...
/u/NeutralSmithHotel
Created: Sat Nov 3 09:57:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tv717/i_met_a_girl_how_to_not_let_my_ed_fuck_it_or_me_up/
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TL:DR--> I really like this girl but am worried I will restrict to get to her to keep liking me or my ED will make me fuck things up otherwise.
So, I went out on a date with a girl last week and we've gone on two subsequent dates... I really like her. She's smart, funny, and self-aware. Things just feel really natural with her (for context, I've gone on a LOT of online dates before this and never felt that). I think she actually likes me too... :).
I'm about 2 months into recovering from my ED (I'm obviously not underweight, but I had been restricting hard for a while) and my recovery is actually going ok. However, I'm worried now because I can hear my ED voice saying: Oh yeah... she likes you now, but you are just on the cusp of being fat and if you eat anymore she's not going to like you. I'm also worried that being too crazy about food and my body image will turn her off (I've hinted at these issues and I think she might have or have had an ED before too).
Has anyone else been able to navigate this before?
[Other] I relapsed a month ago after 4 years in recovery. Yesterday I almost passed out in my shower and also while brushing my teeth at the sink. After 4 years I didn’t think I’d be this sick again so quickly. I don’t know what I’m posting this for, I just want someone to know
/u/autumnmostly
Created: Sat Nov 3 09:53:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tv5wj/i_relapsed_a_month_ago_after_4_years_in_recovery/
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if u have a BMI <19 what’s ur current gw?
/u/ikeafamous
Created: Sat Nov 3 09:51:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tv5ej/if_u_have_a_bmi_19_whats_ur_current_gw/
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I see a lot of posts by people a lot heavier than I am and I don’t feel that competitive drive to be skinnier than them loll (healthy I kno) so if ur already ‘underweight’ what’s ur current BMI/weight goal? I’m exactly 19 and my goal is 16 rn
[Goal] 44.5 hours and I broke
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Sat Nov 3 09:18:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tuw27/445_hours_and_i_broke/
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We had an early meeting at work and they had mini chicken biscuits for us and I couldn’t resist. While I didn’t make it anywhere near as long as I had hoped I think doing 24-48 hour fasts on the reg will help me stay aware of my eating and not binging. I had also read some previous posts in this sub about fasting vs restricting and if there was much of a difference as far as results and got some mixed reviews so maybe extended fasting just isn’t for me, at least not yet. But I’m going to continue trying to fast for as long as I can as often as I can and that should help. I just really want to be thinner by the new year
[Rant/Rave] Recovery rant
/u/manicdysfunction
Created: Sat Nov 3 09:09:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tutko/recovery_rant/
---
I've been seeing a nutritionist for about 6 months now. I was eating but def not eating enough and my partner motivated me to see one who specialized working with people with ED's. So the last six months have been exchanges, blind weigh-ins, and eyeing my scale at home and eating way more food than I ever fathomed in my life.
I caved and weighed myself and I was at the number that I used to break down at. I recognized that between eating more whole foods and continuing my martial arts classes, I was likely building lean muscle. But I can't get out of my head that weight gain = I'm awful/ugly/horrible. And it's an awful game of cognitive dissonance because we all know women's sizing is gaaarbage and I wear size 2 in one brand and 5's in another.
I want so desperately to go back to counting, to go back to running at 5:30am, to go back to everything because I haven't liked my body in months, even as I've gotten my purple belt and improved my flexibility.
This is so hard and I'm crying about it almost daily. My partner wouldn't understand if I tried to explain it, and I'm terrified to go back to my Tumblr and get sucked into the rabbit hole.
(idk if this post is allowed; it's been forever since I've been on here, but if so thank you for reading)
[Goal] I reached a gw I never thought possible today
/u/sorrowfulspookyghost
Created: Sat Nov 3 08:46:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tun6z/i_reached_a_gw_i_never_thought_possible_today/
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Around a year ago today I was 180 pounds and miserable. I hated myself. I wasn't happy or confident. I was ruining my own life. I couldn't bring myself to talk to people unless they were online people because I felt like I was an abomination and nobody should look at me. If anyone ever asked me my weight, I would lie and say 115. Today I weighed in at 115. I always told myself I would never get skinny or be happy, and though I still struggle with self confidence issues and, of course, an eating disorder, I'm on my way to being happy with my body.
[Goal] I can finally see my ribs again!!
/u/sellie41434 [5'1" | 134 | 25.1 | 11 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 08:35:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tukb2/i_can_finally_see_my_ribs_again/
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For the past month, I've been stuck in a horrible bingeing phase, and I'm trying my hardest to get out of it without yanking the wheel all the way into restricting. I've started eating vegan now and I'm losing weight again and I'm trying to eat a healthy, middle amount. I can see my ribs again (faintly) and I'm so happy!
Weekly "food" shopping and a tiny progress
/u/rita_rita
Created: Sat Nov 3 08:33:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tujm7/weekly_food_shopping_and_a_tiny_progress/
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​
*Processing img hw840qxhm4w11...*
[Rant/Rave] I want to be delicate to piss off my mom
/u/WinterSpades
Created: Sat Nov 3 08:23:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tugvl/i_want_to_be_delicate_to_piss_off_my_mom/
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I want to be like blown glass and just as fragile
I want people to say "a strong gust of wind will knock you right over!"
I want to see my skeleton as proof that I am real and alive
I want to see jealously and frustration in my mother's eyes when she sees me with the body she wanted but could never get, the body she pushed me towards but didn't believe I could attain
She put me on diets when I was 14, she constantly monitored what I was eating and always had a comment when I gained/lost weight. To this day she's phobic about gaining even one more pound herself and is always taking about it.
You want me to be as obsessed with weight as you are? You want to have a trophy child you can show off? You want me to be an ideal you never were? Then don't back down when you get what you want.
I'm going to be so delicate you'll cut yourself on my cheekbones
[Discussion] Any other vet techs out there?
/u/feelsomethinggg
Created: Sat Nov 3 08:20:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tug8p/any_other_vet_techs_out_there/
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Current RVT working emergency. Honestly makes it so much easier to fast and not think about food. 12 hour shifts of nothing but running around like a psycho plus the bonus of burning cals. The only downside is there is always little treats around. Candy, desserts, pizza etc. Every clinic/hospital I've worked at has been the same. It's the worst temptation
But I've learned it's not worth it.
The worst part is this job is so mentally taxing that after a bad day or a horrible case I want to binge the sad away.
Anyone else work a mentally draining job and how do you get by ?
Stay safe all, stay focused 💓
[Rant/Rave] Lost almost 6lbs overnight...?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Sat Nov 3 08:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tudts/lost_almost_6lbs_overnight/
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Yesterday I fasted and at the end of the day I weighed 128, right before bed. I woke up and the scale says 122.6.
Why??? What???
Diet culture
/u/xxxanon1117
Created: Sat Nov 3 07:59:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tuao9/diet_culture/
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My friends are constantly talking about their "diets" and how naughty they are for cheating and eating a bag of chips or handful of cookies. I hear someone talk about how much they dont like their body, or about their diet riddled with "fatlogic" and I just sit there. 16 hours into a fast as they complain they have to stop getting extra butter on their bagels.
I'm heavier than I thought I was, kill me please :(
/u/Work_In_Regress [5'6"| Don't ask don't tell | GW: 120| UGW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 07:54:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tu970/im_heavier_than_i_thought_i_was_kill_me_please/
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The title says it all. I went to the gym today after a long hiatus (read: alcoholic binge episode lasting an entire 3 months). I don't own a scale, so the gym is the only place I can weigh myself. I already knew I gained weight, but I didn't know how much. I have already been restricting for some time now, so I figured at worst I'd be 75kg, but I was hoping for 70-72kg.
I go into the gym and I'm 77kg. I rage cried on the stationary bike for an hour. I hate myself so much right now. I can't believe I did this to myself. I used to be 60kg, so much closer to my UGW and...well...I fucked it all up. And it's going to take months to even get back to 60, let alone my UGW.
This has been such an awful day. I feel so broken and discouraged. I should have never weighed myself...I was a lot happier before I did. Ugh...alcohol is NOT my friend.
[Rant/Rave] Literally been binging since Halloween
/u/hazyandspinning
Created: Sat Nov 3 07:44:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tu6mq/literally_been_binging_since_halloween/
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I was doing so good for a couple of weeks, even my LD boyfriend noticed my boobs were getting smaller and I think I was actually losing weight. (Side note- I’m on a study abroad term and I don’t have access to a scale so that’s been awful.)
Anyhow, on Halloween I had this poetry performance that I was going to because I really love Neil Hilborn and I was living for looking towards this event because I’m now 32 days sober and literally everyone just wants to go to pubs all the time.
Turns out my dumb ass forgot to check to see how far the venue was and I would’ve had to travel 2 and a half hours there on the National Rail, then take 4 night busses back which would take 5 hours.
So what did I do? I went and bought a massive tub of hummus, spicy potatoes, a falafel wrap, and four bags of all sorts and sat in my bed and ate it all.
Since then, every night I’ve just been overeating and I feel like a fucking walrus and everything looks horrid on me so today I slept until 1 just to avoid being awake.
3 day liquid fast to get me back on track? I think yes because I fucking hate all this fat on me and I’m just over it.
[Discussion] DAE find comfort in turning their weight loss into little math problems?
/u/IllegitimatePigeon [5'2 | 97lbs | 17.7 | 20F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 07:40:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tu5oi/dae_find_comfort_in_turning_their_weight_loss/
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https://i.redd.it/o8kgskm9d4w11.jpg
Got my first full time job scared my ED will ruin things
/u/livexthroughthis
Created: Sat Nov 3 07:39:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tu5az/got_my_first_full_time_job_scared_my_ed_will_ruin/
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So I recently accepted my first full time job after finishing uni which I am really excited about but my first thought was I’m not sure how I’m going to cope with the long working hours while restricting
Firstly, I have to travel an hour and a half to get there every day so I will be waking up at about 6am and getting home at about 8pm, and then working all day, obviously I have an hours lunch break so for anyone else the idea of eating shouldn’t be a problem but I’m terrified
I don’t normally eat breakfast but I’m not sure how I can get through a day fully functioning at work on 500-600 calories a day, I’m also struggling for ideas on what to take with me to eat
I normally just eat some oats made with water for lunch and then will make a low cal dinner on an average day and while I am always very hungry and tired I can get away with it as I’m at home doing nothing
I am always very light headed and dizzy and get very tired so I don’t know how to cope with working a 40 hour week plus commuting while not eating and it’s really scaring me :((( I’m also scared people will find out and ask why I’m not eating snacks in the office/wanting to order food etc and I’ll feel like I have to join in to feel accepted and fit in and not look weird
I have so much anxiety about it all and am not really sure what to do, I know the obvious answer is to eat but I just can’t and I can’t talk to anyone about it as they won’t understand :(((( I’m just not really sure what to do as I want to be excited but this is really worrying me I’m scared I’ll be close to passing out at work and unable to do my job properly or so physically hungry through the day I can’t cope but I don’t want to fall into bad eating habits (eating 1000+ cals a day because then I will start bingeing and I also desperately want to lose my last 5lbs before Christmas) does anyone have any advice??? Or maybe things I can eat during my lunch break other than like coffee etc
[Discussion] What's your secret weapon when trying to make your bland safe foods more flavorful?
/u/crystalchina
Created: Sat Nov 3 07:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tu1sv/whats_your_secret_weapon_when_trying_to_make_your/
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Mine is Tapatío. Love me some spicy shit 🔥
[Discussion] what’s your go to binge food?
/u/pinkdonutdemon
Created: Sat Nov 3 07:02:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttwai/whats_your_go_to_binge_food/
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kit kats and potato chips are everything I love and hate in this world. I literally shovel both into my mouth at the same time because I have no self control or dignity. I’m curious, does anyone else have a specific binge food, or is it just whatever’s around?
[Rant/Rave] Saturday morning conundrum
/u/bexsun2
Created: Sat Nov 3 06:55:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttup5/saturday_morning_conundrum/
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ahh I’m kind of freaking out. I haven’t got to weigh myself in a week and I really want to but I’m also bloated right now so I know it probably won’t be accurate and I’ll just be upset with what I see.
On the other hand, I have a feeling the number wouldn’t go down anyway (even though it 100% should..im in a plateau maybe?) and I should just get the crushing disappointment over with now instead of waiting until tomorrow..
does anybody else absolutely hate how much goes in to getting a good weigh-in?? I can only weigh myself every second week and there are so many factors that could skew the results and it’s so frustrating :(
there’s not really a point to this post I’m just upset and borderline about to have an anxiety attack :)))))) happy Saturday my dudes
Sometimes I wonder if my parents are actually retarded.
/u/rottueitur
Created: Sat Nov 3 06:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttse3/sometimes_i_wonder_if_my_parents_are_actually/
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Hi. Long time lurker first time writer.
Okay so after a massive mental breakdown a year ago and a subsequent breakup I moved back in with my parents and told them pretty much everything, including how I'd been struggling with bulimia since I was 15 which explains my cycle of rapid weight loss and weight gain. They were really supportive and I started seeing probably the most qualified therapist and psychiatrist for eating disorders in my country. Like, they literally wrote the book on eating disorders. By that I mean the two of them oversaw the creation of the eating disorder recovery program in my country.
So that's all great. But I gained a lot of weight and became the heaviest I've ever been in my life, weighing in at a whopping 95 kg. My dad, who has been like 110 - 120 kg most of my life has been making fun of me for having to buy bigger clothes, asking me when I'm gonna start dieting, telling me that when he was my age he was in a much better shape than I am. Like, did you actually forget that I'm in eating disorder recovery???? Did you never learn how to talk to other people without being a dickhead? Those comments hurt so fucking bad.
So recently I told my therapist I'm sick of being a BMI of 31 and that I'm going back to my disordered ways. And the fact that intermittent fasting is a fad now is SO GREAT. I can tell people I haven't eaten for 24+ hours and they actually support me and tell me to keep it up! My mom especially, keeps complimenting me on my rapid weight loss and cheering me on. Like, mom, did you forget what I told you about restriction and rapid weight loss being a symptom of my eating disorder? And you're encouraging it?
Well, whatever. I'm gonna keep it up regardless, but jeez I'd have thought they'd at least be a bit less clueless. But as long as it spares me from the awkwardness of an intervention I guess it's all good.
Who needs laxatives when you can just eat hot cheetos during a binge and then sit on the toilet for hours while your butt feels like it’s on fire!
/u/not-creative-enough- [5’6 | 16F | CW145lbs | 23.5 | HW150lbs ]
Created: Sat Nov 3 06:17:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttms4/who_needs_laxatives_when_you_can_just_eat_hot/
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Amirite?! Seriously though, owwwww!
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! November 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 3 06:13:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttlun/stupid_questions_saturday_november_03_2018/
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This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for November 03, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 03, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 3 06:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttl5h/daily_food_diary_november_03_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 03, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Why am I even doing this to myself?
/u/randomspaceprincess [5'11" | CW: Too much | -33lb | GW: 100lb | 28f]
Created: Sat Nov 3 05:47:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttgui/why_am_i_even_doing_this_to_myself/
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Warning for an income rant or something. Am on mobile so I can't flair.
Anyways... A lot of things changed for me this year and it's the best. I am, for the first time in maybe my whole life, actually happy. I am on medication that makes me feel like a human being. My relationship is going well. I'm excelling at university and I thoroughly enjoy learning. It's great.
So why am I having a relapse now? Why am I trying to stay at the lowest possible amount of calories? Why am I lying to people I love about how much I eat because they know my history and don't want me to harm myself in any way? Why am I doing this?
I am just doing it in a weird autopilot mode, where it just became so normal and I'm treating it so casually that I didn't even notice that it makes no sense. When I first got an ED around the age of 12 or 13, I was depressed and unhappy, I had close to no friends and felt ugly. Now I am not that person anymore. But why am I still going back to restricting? And why did it take me so long to realise that this isn't good?
I don't know why I'm writing this. I think I'm just scared. For now, I am not in danger of being underweight. But I know where this road leads to and I am still taking it. And I don't understand it. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to recover for good. I want to just focus on *life*, goddammit. Not on the most efficient way to slowly destroy myself. And yet, here I am.
I am sorry about rambling, but I really need to get this out there. I want so desperately to just *be okay*, but I am not. Maybe I am just broken somehow. I don't know...
[Rant/Rave] looking back at pictures of when i was at my safe weight and falling apart.
/u/hlundstrom
Created: Sat Nov 3 05:46:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttglr/looking_back_at_pictures_of_when_i_was_at_my_safe/
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i am stuck at my highest weight ever and i just looked at pictures when i was so tiny and frail. i wish i was back there. i was looking at selfies where my collarbones were noticable, where my jawline was sharp, where my arms were tiny
i wish i could go back. i wish i appreciated more. i hate myself for letting myself gain this much weight. i hate everything about myself these days
anyone who can relate?
what do y'all do to increase your NEAT ?
/u/put_thelotion [179cm | CW: 76.5kg | GW: 55kg | 20F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 05:17:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttb20/what_do_yall_do_to_increase_your_neat/
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non-exercise activity thermogenesis. the little calories that add up during the course of the day. I already fidget a bit and tend to dance in place to whatever music I'm listening to, or make little choreographies while I walk alone, but I'm interested in hearing what y'all do!
​
I'm always trying to increase my NEAT calories, especially since I sometimes have days where I'm working 16+ hours and just don't have time to go for my normal workout
[Rant/Rave] FUCKING ‘AESTHETIC’ ACCOUNTS
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 54kg | 18.5 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 05:14:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ttali/fucking_aesthetic_accounts/
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So those instagram accents that glorify and romanticise depression and eating disorders and self harm and drugs FUCKING annoy the shit out of me.
Fishnets and skinny bloody knees and roses and xanax are NOT pretty or ‘goals’.
Like????????????? What?????????? Why do people accept this shit. Okay,, you are reflecting your internal pain and suffering but surely this does way more bad than good?? Kids shouldn’t have to idealise literal blood poured over your face?
I realise I sound like an old whiny bitch but I am not old, I am just concerned that this is becoming (?) the new cool 😎 and erm yea I am ANGERY .
Imo aesthetic accounts are ANNOYING but at least try to create some positivity and be aware of your audience.
[Rant/Rave] I just found out my boyfriend weighs only one (1) kg more than me.
/u/milovsflo
Created: Sat Nov 3 04:52:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tt6ld/i_just_found_out_my_boyfriend_weighs_only_one_1/
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Only he’s 15 cm taller than me. He’s really skinny and trying to gain weight, but damn, that really hurt me. Now I literally wanna starve myself until I’m nothing.
Thinspo
/u/throwaway-637
Created: Sat Nov 3 04:26:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tt20j/thinspo/
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What happened to r/thinspo? It's gone :(
[Help] Are smoking side effects worth the weight loss?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [170| 54| 18.6|f]
Created: Sat Nov 3 04:17:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tt0hp/are_smoking_side_effects_worth_the_weight_loss/
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I started smoking about 2 weeks ago and I lost 2.5kg , I now weight 53.8 with BMI of 18.6 (lost all appetite, have only had coffee, water and one meal a day since.. sometimes I can only eat pudding... before smoking I would eat a lot of junk food) I've been very productive, energetic and talkative this way, though.
​
Naturally, this comes with consequences... I can deal with stinky fingers but I noticed a number of pimples forming on my chin, close together. I used to have good skin... I know many girls who smoke and are flawless: their teeth are white, their skin smooth. So is that a possibility? How did smoking affect you?
​
(p.s.: i know smoking kills)
​
​
[Goal] Christmas goals?
/u/Choopy22
Created: Sat Nov 3 03:42:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tsufs/christmas_goals/
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I've only recently discovered this sub and may I just say that I actually feel so at home!
Just wondering, how many of you have a Christmas goal?I've had a rollercoaster of a year, being at about 53kg (116.8lbs) last Christmas, dropping to 49kg (108lbs) but am now back up to 60kg (132lbs!!). I work as a gym instructor and have definitely gained some muscle, and have had to up my intake over the last few months because of intense training. After next weekend my training will drop off significantly and I'm ready to buckle down!
My goal is to reach about 55-57kg by Christmas (121-125lbs), which doesn't seem like a whole lot but I'm trying to maintain as much muscle as possible. And as a fairly short girl (160cm- 5'3) every little bit counts.
Just thinking we could all band together and keep each other accountable/check up on each other! I know I hate letting people down so that would be a huge motivator for me (can't really discuss it with people in my life without giving away my fucked up eating).
And any ideas on how many calories I should be eating to get at this goal? I've been averaging about 800 most days but have been binging frequently so my weight had maintained.
[Rant/Rave] After five years of binging and purging nearly every day, I finally got my ass to the dentist yesterday...
/u/peanutbutterismylife [5'6" | CW: 86 | BMI: 13.9 | 21 / F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 03:29:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tssfh/after_five_years_of_binging_and_purging_nearly/
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... And his words were (paraphrased) "Wow, I hardly ever get to see such healthy teeth! You have such thick enamel! Good job on taking such good care of your teeth, and thank your parents for the great dental genes!"
Wtf.
Obviously I'm absolutely ecstatic, but how the hell is this possible? I literally do nothing for harm prevention post purging (rinsing with baking soda or whatever) and half the time I'm too tired at night and accidentally forget to brush my teeth. I was having a lot of tooth pain, which is why I made the appointment in the first place, but apparently it's because my sinuses are extremely low in my face and grow into the roots of my teeth, so all of the pain is just from that.
So much for being motivated to stop purging...
Stomach pains — punishment for binges
/u/ThePinkPandaHugger [5'2 | CW:134 | BMI: 24.5 |-12 | F | GW: 100]
Created: Sat Nov 3 02:53:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tsmok/stomach_pains_punishment_for_binges/
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I’ve been going through binges for a week now. Up in the middle of the night due to stomach pains from gorging myself on chocolate and fatty foods all day. I always forget how sensitive my stomach is. It’s my punishment that I rightfully deserve. Sigh
How much does sleep actually affect weight loss?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 02:42:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tsl6g/how_much_does_sleep_actually_affect_weight_loss/
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People say that less than 8hrs a day causes your metabolism to slow than and lose weight slower.. anyone else been affected by this?
[Goal] Success
/u/Ardental
Created: Sat Nov 3 02:35:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tsk0u/success/
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Hi guys, I have been a lurker for a long ass time but I couldn't resist posting as I have officially dropped to my lowest weight since adulthood! I am so happy right now. I been following this community for a while now without actually participating, as I always felt 'too big' (I know that sounds ridiculous on paper) but you are all so lovely and motivating and I can't wait to jump in!
[Help] ECA stack for Europeans? Pseudo-ephedrine?
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Sat Nov 3 02:34:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tsjuw/eca_stack_for_europeans_pseudoephedrine/
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I've been wanting to try stacking for a while, but there is No way of getting ephedrine here (Nordic country). I have an oldish prescription for Duact (anti congestive) that has 60 mg of pseudoephedrine hydroclorid per pill, and have been using that for maybe two weeks with some possibly imagined effect. Using coffee/monster for the caffeine, not taking any aspirin.
And now I am DYING to hear about your own trials, errors, searches! Please tell me!
[Other] I will meet my boyfriend's family this Christmas...
/u/voidnasp [153cm | CW 55,6kg | 24,96 | -12kg | F]
Created: Sat Nov 3 02:31:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tsjet/i_will_meet_my_boyfriends_family_this_christmas/
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... So of course my first thought is that I need to be thin so they like me!
​
We've been together for almost 3 years now and I only know his mother and his brothers. I will be meeting his grandmother, great-grandmother, uncles, aunts, cousins... I am happy because he's a bit scared of commitment (and by a bit I mean A LOT) so the fact it is actually happening means a lot. It just gives me an extra motivation so I don't actually look like a waste of a human being when in front of them, and in pictures. I don't think I can be at my GW by Christmas, because I need to eat so I don't fuck up another college year, but I will be as close to it as I can by then!
[Rant/Rave] If I just restrict a little more I could be at my GW by Christmas...
/u/wristsPlz
Created: Sat Nov 3 02:15:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tsh86/if_i_just_restrict_a_little_more_i_could_be_at_my/
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But I'm on the radar of my family and boyfriend at the moment and I'm scared they'd notice. My mum in particular thinks I'm thin already, which is a joke but I think she's just comparing me to the high majority of overweight people around. My parents are both overweight. She knows I'm restricting but I said I would be done in a couple of weeks (lol).
Anyway I'm scared they'll notice and things will go bad. It's not a huge amount longer before I'm out of the healthy BMI range either so I won't be able to use that as a get out of jail free card. But it would be SO GOOD to hit 125 by Christmas. I think I'm gunna do it.
I completed my first fast.
/u/MapleMarigold
Created: Sat Nov 3 01:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ts6wt/i_completed_my_first_fast/
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I did it. I completed my first ever 24 hour fast. It was hard with temptation everywhere. Lots of left over Halloween candy! I feel so proud of myself and I just wanted to post as encouragement.
If my fat ass can do it - so can you!
[Rant/Rave] Got asked on a dinner date with a really cute guy from work, freaking the fuck out
/u/throwawayeett
Created: Sat Nov 3 00:41:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ts2cy/got_asked_on_a_dinner_date_with_a_really_cute_guy/
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It’s mid next week so I’ve got like 5 days idk but FUCK I need to fast every single day until then and then I need to try and eat small amounts without looking like a freak. I’ve had about 4 bingey day’s recently so I look bloated and disgusting right now 😭
If this date goes to shit, I still have to see him at work and it’ll be awkward as fuck. Also what if he wants to have sex with me eventually??? (He’s cute asf I would jump him literally right now if I had the confidence) What if he hugs me and feels how fucking disgusting I am. I look kinda skinny in my work uniform so I don’t think he can tell that I’m actually a disgusting piece of shit underneath it. If he thinks my body is disgusting and then I have to see him at work ugh I’m panicking idk what to do. He’s cute and I really want to go on the date but I’m so fucking mental about my body it’s horrible. ALSO to make matters worse, I’ve been faking this insane confidence the whole time I’ve been working there so he thinks I’m really confident and happy with myself so I don’t wanna break down and admit that I’m a freak.
How can I fast for 5 days without breaking down and having a binge right before the date? I don’t want to cancel again cause I’ve already cancelled on two of his date offers so I HAVE to go to this one :(
WHY AM I A PSYCHO
[Other] How to get out of this 4 day binge?
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Sat Nov 3 00:28:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ts0cu/how_to_get_out_of_this_4_day_binge/
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Halloween set me off. I ate a bunch the last two nights because I'm an emotional eater and it's what comforts me. Well today I tried. I planned to stay under 900. Got to 1,100. Then just now I was hungry as fuck and ate 3 candies and cheeze it's. Clocking in at 1,500+ for my day. I started crying with crackers in my hand. Trying to understand why I'm so fucking hungry and disgusting. I'm going to do better. But It's like I forgot everything I know to ignore hunger and emotions. Like the last 3 months are just out the window or self control. Somebody help me before it turns into 5 days and I gain anymore weight. It also said I gained 3-4 lbs yesterday but this morning I was back at my before binge weight. Oh yeah and my fat ads has been just SITTING for these few days. Watching Amberlynn on YouTube videos being a lazy slob like I'm any better than her. Thanks for listening to my Ted talk fam. I'm out.
Has anyone here actually gotten down to a weight where they felt they were finally thin enough?
/u/BarakaBrat [5'7 | CW: 145 | BMI: 22.63 | -215lbs | Male]
Created: Fri Nov 2 23:59:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trv3f/has_anyone_here_actually_gotten_down_to_a_weight/
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I think back to when I was little, and I guess you could say I was chubby. I always remember thinking "why do I have to be the chubby one?" There weren't very many chunky kids in my school when I was growing up, and there was this one super fat kid who stuck out for being very large. When puberty hit I really slimmed-down and got very very thin. I purged almost all my meals at one point in high school. I would fluctuate After High School but never got huge until many years later. Eventually I hit 360 pounds and was super morbidly obese, but have since lost all the weight. Now I'm only a few pounds more than I was at my lowest weight, but I can never remember a time in my life where I didn't want to weigh less. I have never been completely content with myself and declared myself at my goal weight. I can't even fathom not wanting to be thinner. It's just never happened for me. I think maybe being chunky when I was in my single digits up through like maybe 10 or 11 years old, really had a permanent impact on me. No matter how big I am gotten or how small I've gotten, I always wanted to lose another 10 or 20 pounds. Has anyone else also just never been at a weight where they said "okay, I'm thin enough. I don't need to lose anymore weight."?
[Rant/Rave] I really don’t understand my own logic sometimes.
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Fri Nov 2 23:46:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trsp9/i_really_dont_understand_my_own_logic_sometimes/
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I binged last night (you know daily routine now🙄) and wanted to purge but to ‘punish’ myself I didn’t??? As if that will somehow help??
And now it’s the next morning but I am probably going to purge what’s left in my stomach which will make NO DIFFERENCE!!! What is wrong with me I stg.
[Rant/Rave] new month, same habits
/u/vvccvv [165cm| 🐷 | G110lbs| -12 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 23:45:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trsch/new_month_same_habits/
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i know this month is barely starting but it’s already a shit show for me with a binge from h e l l today and it needs to stop now. i’m posting this for accountability, starting tomorrow i’m doing OMAD/IF and staying binge-free for the rest of the month. i need to hit SOME kind of goal by dec 😔
/rant over
[Discussion] DAE have that one meal that's a somewhat larger volume but still low in calories?
/u/feelsomethinggg
Created: Fri Nov 2 23:36:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trqs8/dae_have_that_one_meal_thats_a_somewhat_larger/
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So I've got this one meal that when I eat it , it feels like a large amount of food but is really low in calories.
50g of lettuce, 25g tomatoes, 25g green peppers.
1 boiled egg
1 1/2 cups of cauliflower rice (frozen from the store) with a lil butter
And it only ends up at 308 calories! But it's like an actual meal and I don't have to feel guilty
After 24 hours of fasting it was the only thing I didn't feel like a fat ass eating.
Anywho , hope everyone is being safe
It’s so hypocritical
/u/secretweightloss [5’4” | CW: 144 | GW: 126 | -51 | M]
Created: Fri Nov 2 22:58:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trjg3/its_so_hypocritical/
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How people will tell you you’re unhealthy and shouldn’t be starving yourself but then turn round and post thirsty comments on selfies of the skinniest and (probably underweight) person we know 🙃 Good to know that if I want you to want me I need to look like that
Binging: A Thought Process
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|117lbs|19.2|-19lbs|F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 22:55:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trirp/binging_a_thought_process/
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"I'm trying to recover so this binge is actually good for me!" ➡ "ok may be not. its okay ill just hardcore restrict for the rest off the week"➡ "fuck what have done"➡" I can't purge bc I'm at my parents house!!! Also last time I purged I got heart palpatations and my face swoll up!!! I cant risk it!!! ➡ "Maybe I can sneak off and buy laxatives tomorrow instead? That's totally less dangerous right??? right????" ➡ " No. As a punishment I'm not letting you purge. You have to sit with this stuffed, gross stomache so that you'll be motivated to never binge again" ➡ *internal screaming*
[Rant/Rave] Skinny friends
/u/agnesiscalling
Created: Fri Nov 2 22:46:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trgwe/skinny_friends/
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Sometimes I’ll be with my best friend, who is naturally petite and cute and tiny, and wonder why the fuck I’m even trying. I’ll never have guys look at me the way guys look at her. It doesn’t matter how many meals I throw up or how many steps I take, I can’t be like that. My thigh is probably the width of her whole body. She drinks and eats all she wants and I feel guilt for eating at all.
I know alcohol is playing a part in my self deprivation right now but... fuck. I’m just so tired of trying so hard and getting no results.
She’s so tiny I could put her in my hand
/u/GameofLoans16 [5'2.5'' F24 BED]
Created: Fri Nov 2 22:44:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9trgly/shes_so_tiny_i_could_put_her_in_my_hand/
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https://i.redd.it/biv6skgpp1w11.jpg
am i annoyed? yes. but also thanks.
/u/croutonsatan [4'11| cw: 99.5 | hw: 113 | gw: 95 ]
Created: Fri Nov 2 22:10:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tr9d9/am_i_annoyed_yes_but_also_thanks/
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so this lady at school got pissy at my outfit and dragged me up to the office and said "does this pretty little body in the lululemon tights look in dress code to you" which like. i was out of dress code. but she called my body pretty and little so :)
also the woman in the office didn't even get me in real trouble so i got all stressed out for nothing
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else with no ass sick of being told to squat
/u/SkinnyAgain259 [5'7" | 139lbs | 21.7| -16lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 22:00:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tr73k/anyone_else_with_no_ass_sick_of_being_told_to/
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I know I have no booty. I have hip dips that make my hip/ass shape look like an upside down trapezium. I have huge hip dips no matter what weight I’m at, my hip bones are large and bulky.
I think I will never have the perfect smoothed out curve there and the body I want. That’s the reason I wasn’t to lose so much weight, at least I can be skinny.
But everyone is so convinced that if I just go the gym and squat that it’s 100% achievable. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think that’s true.
Everyone I have met with that perfect curve there, or people who have a big butt, that’s just their natural weight distribution. I’m sure it can make a small difference but people act as if you hit the gym and do some lunges/squats/deadlifts and you’re going to be competing with Kim K.
I don’t know, I just feel likes it’s another unrealistic expectation. I remember when I was about 14 working out every day for months and being disappointed as it made 0 difference. People’s bodies are different and that perfect figure isn’t attainable for everyone.
I just stole a pair of pants I knew would be too small so I'd feel bad about myself
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:36:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tr1m2/i_just_stole_a_pair_of_pants_i_knew_would_be_too/
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Because I was feeling a little too good about just completing a 24 hour fast. Like that even matters when I've gained 2 pounds this month because my binges are greater than my fasting periods.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get really weirded out when they notice something suspicious about a celebrity?
/u/lattephobia
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:28:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqzyr/dae_get_really_weirded_out_when_they_notice/
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Like, this is not important and I know it's not. But it's been a cold, rainy day with nobody around so I've been binge-watching music fluff on YouTube and flinging myself around the living room squeaking like a schoolgirl.
And then everything changed with one clip. I don't even know exactly which clip, but all of a sudden instead of giggling for the last couple hours I've been analyzing this person's hands like some CSI gone rogue and I just... Feel weird. Weirder than normal celebrity obsession. Dirty and voyeuristic in a decidedly unpervy way
It's like a creeping dread because I don't want it to be what it could be but at the same time I can't stop *looking* for evidence I don't really want. I'm conflicted as all hell in this one, because while I may be darkly projecting a little it's well within the realm of possibility. ...But my heart just kind of breaks if I imagine them purging.
Anyone else been down this kind of uncomfortable rabbit hole? It's hardly a crisis, but I could really use some relatable stories right now.
What do you do in the gym?
/u/Firebug__ [5”6 | 100lbs | BMI 16 | 18F | b/p & c/s]
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:26:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqzfv/what_do_you_do_in_the_gym/
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I’ve got a gym membership, haven’t gone in a while though - I used to be so good and went 6x a week without fail, but honestly I just fucked around a fair bit, but still got baby abs (gone now)
I’m not huge on cardio since I’m a waitress and if I did more cardio I’m sure I would die lol so I’d like to focus on weights so I look skinny-muscular instead of flabby (like http://imgur.com/vu9Gbxh)
Wondering what you all get up to in the gym? I’m trying to get back but I have so much anxiety about how weak and flabby I am. I swear I can only lift 5kg / leg press 20kg and can’t even hold a plank for 10 seconds 😩😩
Dunno what to wear either... I used to wear sports bra and leggings but I’m too fat for that now rip
[Discussion] Weight loss dilemma
/u/LuKiOMFG
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:26:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqzda/weight_loss_dilemma/
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Does anybody else feel conflicted when you lose weight and your clothes are loose, but then you can't wear your favorite clothes anymore? Like my favorite pair of jeans, that used to fit my shape perfectly, are now baggy and I'm so disappointed because the brand no longer makes that specific cut anymore.
[Discussion] What's something filling and warm for under 100 calories?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:21:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqy8q/whats_something_filling_and_warm_for_under_100/
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(around 50 is better.)
​
Tomorrow I'm drinking one of those Ensure protein things with caffeine (150) and I still will have about 50 calories leftover for a snack and I'd love something warm for my lunch break at work. (I'm willing to go over 50 slightly (by 20-30) because I'll be active all day and I was active today while fasting.)
​
I was thinking of cutting up a honeycrisp apple with cinnamon on top and microwaving it in the break room! Would that be as good as an oven or would it be gross? Should i just bring some broth instead? Ideas pls!!!!
[Other] what’s a binge???
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 20 | f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🌱🐻]
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:20:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqy5z/whats_a_binge/
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like, what would you consider a binge? i ate a bunch of foods tonight that a) i didn’t really need b) were all junk food c) put me +1200 calories over my goal... but at the same time i’m still -1000 calories below my tdee, i didn’t eat all those foods in one sitting, and i wasn’t out of control??? like this ‘binge’ is what non disordered people would probably see as treating yourself on a friday night??? i’m so lost i just wanna be normal and enjoy life again and not worry about food anymore
[Help] Skin care??
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:112 | 17.4 |]
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:15:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqwvs/skin_care/
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So idk if anyone else experiences this but restricting actually makes my skin get worse ..
I’ve been looking to try out some new skincare products... anyone have anything they swear by?? A particular brand?
Scale recommendations?
/u/CompetitionEater
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:12:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqw55/scale_recommendations/
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I want to finally ditch my old analog scale and get a nice, new digital one. I thought you guys might know which ones are good.
I have a soft spot for cute ones, but an also considering one of the smart ones that mesures body fat % and the like.
Any recommendations?
When you order so much food at the drive-thru that they ask you to pull up...
/u/kissmekatie
Created: Fri Nov 2 21:02:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqtqt/when_you_order_so_much_food_at_the_drivethru_that/
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But you're alone. 😐 😭 Ugh.
What foods do you refuse to eat... even to binge or b/p
/u/tiflis
Created: Fri Nov 2 20:53:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqrgd/what_foods_do_you_refuse_to_eat_even_to_binge_or/
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Some of my (admittedly illogical) food fears are extreme enough that I couldn’t eat the foods even when I would regularly b/p. Like, pretty much anything cooked either oil freaks me out too much to want to eat it. Granola became one of my biggest fear foods after some harrowing experiences over the toilet.... Now it just terrifies me by how calorically dense it is for a freaking ostensible “healthy” food. Coconut milk is the same.
Anyone else have foods they’ll never eat, even at their worst moments...?
[Other] Me in a Nutshell
/u/CurlyCocaina
Created: Fri Nov 2 20:32:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqmdz/me_in_a_nutshell/
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Someone sent this to me saying, “This is you,” And I’ve never related to anything more. Stay safe babies 💕
[El oh el](https://imgur.com/a/bA2krqB)
[Other] Went to the doctor for major stomach pains and now I’m not allowed to eat literally anything lol doctor’s orders
/u/olegreatthrowaway
Created: Fri Nov 2 20:09:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqgqz/went_to_the_doctor_for_major_stomach_pains_and/
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I guess now I have excuse to not eat
Commercials calling me out
/u/Lindseyj66
Created: Fri Nov 2 20:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqfkr/commercials_calling_me_out/
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There’s been 3 NEDA -National Eating Disorders Association commercials on in like an hour. Side eyeing my tv like 😒🤫
I just love this group so much.
/u/crazyauntkanye
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:59:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tqe95/i_just_love_this_group_so_much/
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Hi lovely humans.
I had a vodka meal tonight for dinner so I’m feeling the drunk feelings and I seriously don’t feel like I fit in anywhere else except for this sub. I love you all. I’m going to Disney in January and I WILL make goal weight because of y’all.
xoxoxo stay beautiful. because you already are.
I just picked up a chocolate bar and then put it back down
/u/ThePiratesOfPanache
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:41:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq9qd/i_just_picked_up_a_chocolate_bar_and_then_put_it/
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not much to say, other than I was restricting really well for a while, then freaked out and binged hardcore the past three days. I promised myself November would be great, and when I picked up the candy today, I didn't even want it. I put it the fuck back down!! I feel really good right now and don't have anyone to share this with, so, cheers to breaking the binge my friends!
[Rant/Rave] The hunger isn't even the hardest part
/u/cattivity
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:34:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq7yp/the_hunger_isnt_even_the_hardest_part/
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It's the waiting.
Having to wait so long to like what I see in the mirror. Having to exist in this body, it's so painful. I feel so uncomfortable and dirty. I hate my body so much it hurts.
Today has just been particularly hard. I hate to say it but looking at my progress photos of others made me want to cry because I know I will never look that good. Never in this lifetime will I be the hot girl, or even the beautiful one. For some reason that matters so much.
My body is always going to look like it belongs to a pudgy child. I thought at 130 I would be happy with my body and feel free from the self loathing. But I'm not. I think I hate myself even more because I just look like a shrunken down version of the same body I hated so much. Still, I'm waiting, and it's a gamble becsuse I might hate myself just as much, maybe more when I get down. For now it's what is keeping me going. I don't know what I'll do if I look worse when I lose these last 25 pounds.
[Discussion] DAE have people who misconstrue your disordered ed behaviors out to be something else?
/u/goatberri
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:30:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq74i/dae_have_people_who_misconstrue_your_disordered/
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[tw self harm]
my friends think i have a crush on this guy because i hang around him a lot but reality is looking at him gives me the self loathing motivation i need to lose weight.
a few weeks ago a conversation came up in our friend group and i found out he was the same weight that i was.
he’s 7 inches taller than me the fact that we were the same weight made me feel like a disgusting pig in his presence.
seeing how different the same amount of weight looks on the both of us is a constant reminder of how far i still need to go.
like looking at him feels like the mental equivalent of when i used to bruise and self harm myself as punishment for not losing enough weight.
kinda brutal but i’ve lost like 7 pounds since i found out like 3 weeks ago that we were once the same weight so it’s working.
until i look as thin as him at my own height i feel like i will not stop.
but i can’t tell my friends all of that so i just let them think i like him because revealing the truth would be worse. any1 else relate lmao?
[Help] My boyfriend came out as having an ED - now what?
/u/SUIT_UP_BRO
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:28:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq6ir/my_boyfriend_came_out_as_having_an_ed_now_what/
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Throwaway because people know my username. My boyfriend has been a somewhat bigger guy for as long as I’ve known him. It’s never particularly bothered me and his weight simply wasn’t a topic of conversation.
Recently, he started seeing a therapist. I of course wholeheartedly supported his efforts. He became noticeably happier and started losing some weight. I quietly supported his efforts, trying to make better eating choices together and helping him meal plan.
I made a positive comment about how he was taking good care of himself and his body, then the story came out. For years, he had been hiding an eating disorder. His ED had gone unnoticed because he is male and overweight. He told me about his struggles and honestly, my negative eating patterns pale by comparison.
Of course, I held him, thanked him for telling me and told him I love him. I want to offer him support to the best of my abilities, but I’m not particularly experienced dealing with this sort of thing. What do I do? What would you (guys and girls) want your SO to do for you if you were trying to recover?
TL;DR: Boyfriend came out as having an ED. I really want to do right by him as he recovers.
Guys, I got a taste of freedom.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | Not yet my final form | Male]
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:26:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq61n/guys_i_got_a_taste_of_freedom/
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In addition to not weighing myself this month, I'm also trying not to count calories and just follow my meal plan, which is based on exchanges. I spend too much time crunching numbers and arguing with the eating disorder, when it's as simple as "for dinner I need 2 grains, do I want 2 slices of bread, or a cup of rice?". I don't need to stress out about which one has more calories, or is healthier. The eating disorder insists I do, but it's not trying to serve me any good, it's trying to destroy me.
I didn't try to estimate calories in the wrap I got from a local cafe the other night, and yesterday I managed to hold off counting until I had a full breakfast and lunch. It actually felt amazing, like a huge weight and bother off my mind. It felt like freedom, or how I imagine freedom from this illness is like. Not letting the number of calories, in addition to a million other conditions, control what I'm able to eat suddenly opens up a lot of choice. I can feel the eating disorder lurking close by, looking for a way to sneak in, to bring me back into the details that keep me trapped in it, so that's terrifying, but I think if I focus on one day, one meal at a time, and stay distracted from non-food-logging things, I'll follow this through.
[Other] Fast heartbeat from not eating?
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:118 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:26:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq5yc/fast_heartbeat_from_not_eating/
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Am I dying? I hope lmao
Is a fast heartbeat normal when fasting/starving? I’m also ugly crying and can’t breathe through my nose. Today sucks y’all!
**Bonus question** do you count calories in vegetables and fruits you eat? I never do and wondered if you all did or not
[Rant/Rave] My birth control is making me binge and eat like a pig
/u/BeautifulRebellion [5’4 | CW: 126 lbs | GW: 105]
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:25:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq5qm/my_birth_control_is_making_me_binge_and_eat_like/
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Shoutout to hormonal birth control for being a bitch and shoutout to my bitch ass for not getting the non hormonal kind. Another shoutout to my dumbass for gaining 10 pounds in less than a month (I got my Nexplanon on 10/5). I h8 everything.
[Discussion] For petite people...
/u/thirteencat [5'3.5" | 107 | GW: 100 | UGW: 95| F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:25:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tq5mw/for_petite_people/
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Is it really true that even the smallest amount of weight loss will show? I’m reaching my goal slowly, but I feel like I still look the same as I did 20 lbs heavier. Even if I reach 95 lbs, I think I won’t look skinny enough. Will these last 10 pounds even be obvious?
[Rant/Rave] My value is based entirely around my weight / what I’m eating
/u/existing--
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:03:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpzvz/my_value_is_based_entirely_around_my_weight_what/
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When I’m in a binge cycle I think I’m the ugliest person in the world. I believe I’m completely unlovable. My self esteem is non-existent. I know I deserve nothing.
2 days into fasting and I’m on top of the world... I feel like I do have value, and I do deserve good things. It changes my mindset around everything in my life. I’m more productive overall. Everything is lighter. Even though my weight hasn’t changed yet, even though my face hasn’t actually changed yet I still like myself more in the mirror.
I wish I could love myself like this all the time and not only when I’m starving.
[Thinspo] This might sound mean but I found the best/worst reverse thinspo
/u/Amoryed
Created: Fri Nov 2 19:02:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpzlr/this_might_sound_mean_but_i_found_the_bestworst/
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For some reason I got recommended a ‘tik tok cringe’ video and it completely stopped me from a binge tonight.. it sounds soo wrong i know but for some reason it worked.
[Other] Naughty Naughty Naughty me
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 18:56:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpxz0/naughty_naughty_naughty_me/
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Guess who went out and bought a crap ton of discounted Halloween candy to c/s?
...🙋♀️
[Rant/Rave] Spent forever in the 140s; breezing through the 130s
/u/dissolvinglipids
Created: Fri Nov 2 18:45:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpv3n/spent_forever_in_the_140s_breezing_through_the/
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I recently have lost over 20 lbs in the last few weeks and it felt like it took for freaking ever for me to get out of the 140-150 range. It was so discouraging and I really wondered if I would ever get out of it. I started getting depressed because it seemed I would have to accept I'd never get down to my desired size ever again and would have to settle for being physically mediocre for the rest of my life. But since I've gotten out of that weight zone, It feels like I have breezed through the 130s and will probably be in the 120s in the next week or so.
It feels pretty awesome that I'm not having to struggle so much to become the size I want and I look forward to getting smaller so I can regain my sense of hotness that I had lost. Clothes fit better, I feel better, and I don't walk around hating myself as much as I used to. Feels really good.
[Rant/Rave] Relapsing at my brother's wedding
/u/shes_toast [5'11"| CW scared of scales | 23F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 18:35:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpsi5/relapsing_at_my_brothers_wedding/
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I've been getting compliments about my recent weight loss (from a relapse lol) while being offered *deep fried balls of dirty rice* in the same breath. We're from New Orleans so the food at this wedding is abundant and suuuuper decadent. Every day is just food, food, food, booze, booze, booze.
I should be spending time with my family who traveled here and going out with the wedding parties but instead all I can think about is how much I hate my body, how shitty I look, why am I even bothering to recover when my recovery self isn't even good enough for me, and on and on. I have somebody here who definitely wants to hook up with me and who I really, really wanted to hook up with, too, and now I can barely imagine it happening. All I want to do is run. I don't want to be surrounded by my family or in this wedding anymore. I'm so terrified of having to walk up the aisle with the rest of the wedding party in front of everyone tomorrow.
Why is restricting so hard for me now?
/u/wolfcolaa
Created: Fri Nov 2 18:17:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpno8/why_is_restricting_so_hard_for_me_now/
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Seriously. Around this time last year, I was doing so well with restricting. By the time Christmas came around, I had lost 30lbs and all my family I hadn’t seen in awhile was surprised and told me I looked great. Fast forward to around May and for some reason I went into some insane binge and gained it. all. back. I’ve lost around 8lbs of it again but I don’t look any different. I’ve been finding it so hard to restrict. Sure, it wasn’t easy last year and I wanted to binge a lot but I rarely gave in. Now I can’t help myself. I feel like I’m not in control anymore. It’s so humiliating to have the people you love tell you that you look good after losing weight and then you gain it all back.
saved most of my calories for candy today
/u/godonvideocall [163.8cm | 113 | 19.40 | 18 | f/queer]
Created: Fri Nov 2 18:08:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpl0z/saved_most_of_my_calories_for_candy_today/
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It was actually helpful tbh. I had chocolate cravings (I’ve got a horrible sweet tooth) and I’ve been doing really well, so I decided to forego protein macros for a day and just let myself live a little bit.
I still had veggies for dinner and a shit ton of water, so I feel okay, and now I’ll be on track tomorrow instead of going over my limit for a snack!
I can only wear certain wedding dresses because of the poor choices I've made.
/u/irequirefries [5'3" | CW: 196 | SW: 247 | GW: 120 | 23F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 18:07:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpkrm/i_can_only_wear_certain_wedding_dresses_because/
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When I was alone in my old apartment for a year my daily depression meals consisted of bags of Goldfish, pizza, Funyuns, Takis, and Monsters. I left my apartment once a day to go to the Walgreen's next door. I gained 70 lbs. My stomach, arms, back, and thighs are covered in stretch marks. They're better now that I've lost 51 lbs, but the damage remains. I have less than a year to finish losing weight before I have to start picking out wedding dresses. I can't wear anything that doesn't cover my disgusting arms now all because my fatass ate 2,000 calories+ of fucking Goldfish every day. Thank God the dresses with sleeves are actually cute, but I wish I didn't have to limit myself like this.
Cocktail victory!!!
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 18:04:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpjwq/cocktail_victory/
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So we all love alcohol here. Especially me. Love my cocktails but...sugar bombs.
Today there’s a surprise bday party for my mom. My dad bought booze and mixers.
Now I’m a slut for a good vodka cranberry, but sugar. I was helping set up the “bar” when I noticed a thing of cranberry juice. So I got curious and looked.
Langers Cranberry Juice.
5 calories, 1 GRAM OF SUGAR. Y’all. I think I died.
Happy November guys!
Ps: Just hit a new goal weight: 116.1!
[Rant/Rave] this is why i dont speak to my mother
/u/iffasting
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:54:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tphfu/this_is_why_i_dont_speak_to_my_mother/
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my BMI is at 26, which is the closest i've been to a normal BMI in maybe 8 years so it's just such a huge deal, and i was telling my mom about it (we hadn't talked in like two months, and we just now started talking again) and she asked what the normal bmi was, and when i said 25 all her response was 'in japan its 22' and i just froze and could hear the sound super mario bros makes when he shrivels up and dies and i could feel my ED blow up and explode.
later that day i binged until i couldnt breathe and then i purged for the first time in my entire life. it wasn't pretty, it took lots and lots of tries, and it went up my nose and hurt like hell when i tried to get it out. and all i want to do now is eat some more, and purge some MORE.
but the real takeaway from this is, fuck my asian mom (who is fat, might i add; bmi of 35) for pushing me back into relapsing to my old ED ways
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like their ED is a coping mechanism for something else?
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | 127lbs | 19.31 | -28lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:51:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpgkh/does_anyone_else_feel_like_their_ed_is_a_coping/
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So like a few years ago I was super depressed and just in a horrible place. I kinda dealt with it with self harm and suicidal thoughts. After like a year or something though it just mysteriously disappeared, like I was just suddenly no longer depressed? I mean things weren’t ideal but I could tolerate my own existence lol, I wouldn’t have described myself as having any current mental health issues and I felt mentally healthy. Then fast forward to now and suddenly an ED has entered the picture. At first I thought these things weren’t linked but today I found an old diary entry thing. Basically when I was depressed I used to do this automatic writing thing to get out my feelings where I just wrote down every thought that came to my head. While I was reading it today so much of it seemed like the same things I still think, except without suicidal intentions and slightly less nihilism. It basically seems like I went from “wow things are shitty might as well die” to “wow things are shitty but I’m sure everything will be fine when I’m skinny!! 😌” lmao. So now I’m wondering if maybe it didn’t really mysteriously disappear, maybe I just suppressed the thoughts/feelings and now I have a new way to deal with them. Has anyone else experienced something like this?
[Discussion] DAE ignore calories from alcoholic drinks?
/u/rita_rita
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:49:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpg4e/dae_ignore_calories_from_alcoholic_drinks/
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I don't count calories from alcohol because I feel that drinking without regrets is better than counting the calories and freaking out, leading to a binge. In my case this is particularly relevant while fasting.
Anyone else or am I just weird?
[Rant/Rave] i was feeling good and then...
/u/_1oo
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:45:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpf25/i_was_feeling_good_and_then/
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i feel like throwing my phone against the wall... i haven’t binged today and thought i looked alright and felt kinda good. i opened the front camera and decided maybe i’ll take a selfie after a year of not opening up my camera app.
man was i wrong. i look fat. disgusting. absolutely ugly. i have an urge to ruin the day even more by binging but a part of me wants to go back to fasting/restricting after seeing the monster looking back at me thru these photos.
it’s been a little bit over a month since i haven’t gone a day without binging (3,000+ cal/day, ~4 times a week). that ends right now.
[Discussion] 30 hours fasted
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:37:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpcxh/30_hours_fasted/
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I’ve been fasting for 30 hours now (I had a couple of false starts) and now there are cupcakes in our break room and it’s taking everything in me not to sneak one in the bathroom to c/s.
[Rant/Rave] I broke my fast with a salad and I feel bad
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW: 116 | GW 100-105 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:32:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tpbh9/i_broke_my_fast_with_a_salad_and_i_feel_bad/
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So I did a 24 hour fast and I decide salad would be the best thing to break it with. I worked off like 400 calories today but I still feel terrible about it. I’m worried I’ll gain from it.
[Help] Lost 14 kilos now my boobs are saggy.
/u/lostandlonley333
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:13:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tp6b4/lost_14_kilos_now_my_boobs_are_saggy/
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Has anyone else experienced saggy boobs after significant weight loss and if so is there anything I can do to improve them.
For reference mine went from a H cup to DD.
It fucking sucks cause Im 18 and although Im becoming semi happy with my body after losing weight now my saggy boobs make me feel self conscious.
[Help] drinking on an empty stomach to avoid binging?
/u/isaezraa [165 cm | cw 52 | gw 48 | 16 f ]
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tp622/drinking_on_an_empty_stomach_to_avoid_binging/
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my friends having a girls night and im going to get there late (10pm) since im working, so they would have already eaten, but theres still going to be snacks and i dont really trust my drunk self, if i eat 200 cals now rather than before i drink would that make me more likely to get too fucked to eat? or too fucked to care about calories?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck sodium.
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:09:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tp556/fuck_sodium/
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All I want to do is weigh myself post vacation when I get home but know I shouldn't from all the sodium in the food I consumed from eating on mini vacation. I feel so bloated. Fml
[Other] What even is my life?
/u/NonconformingRole [5'4 | CW 149 | GW 108 | BMI 25.7 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:09:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tp52h/what_even_is_my_life/
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I’m currently crying because my one-year-old was trying to share his lollipop with me, and he wouldn’t stop, so I panicked and yelled that I didn’t want it. He cried, I calmed him down, apologize, and now I’m crying.
He was just trying to be sweet and share. I couldn’t handle it. I’m so fucked up.
i think i lost weight yayy
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Fri Nov 2 17:05:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tp473/i_think_i_lost_weight_yayy/
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i looked in the mirror earlier and it’s either i lost weight or i actually don’t have a distorted view of myself today and i realized i’m skinny. either way, i’m kind of satisfied.
Do you know when you’re gonna Binge?
/u/waverliethelane
Created: Fri Nov 2 16:58:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tp1z3/do_you_know_when_youre_gonna_binge/
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I feel like my messed up days always start with a piece of chocolate....hbu?
[Rant/Rave] It's my anniversary.
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Fri Nov 2 16:41:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tox4e/its_my_anniversary/
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This November begins my sixth year of hunger, hospitals, yo-yo weigh ins, and bottomless bottles of nutritional supplements, diet coke, and antidepressants. My weight has ranged from the 90-something pounds at which I began, to the 67 that nearly made a tragic after school special out of my fourteen years of life, back to the 98 pounds that gave everyone who loved me a false sense of hope and security that melted away when I purged Christmas dinner the year I was fifteen, to my current, and most constant, 80-something pounds. I've been on a million different pills, seen half a dozen therapists, committed as an inpatient and made a reluctant outpatient, and still, nothing has changed, but in other ways everything has changed. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped as that twelve year girl with her face buried in the toilet, the fourteen year old wasting away in the back of a freshman class, the sixteen year old substituting cigarettes for meals, the seventeen year old who realized she wouldn't graduate high school because of the weight she carried not on her body but in her head, and more so, I feel trapped in this woman who doesn't feel anywhere close to grownup despite the passage of her eighteenth birthday, who smokes all day and saves her calories for liquor at night when she writes stories to live the life she couldn't.
I work with a former contestant for America's Next Top Model
/u/MiggMagg [5'2" | 102 | 19.33 | -5 | 24F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 16:03:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tom0g/i_work_with_a_former_contestant_for_americas_next/
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And she's so pretty it's insane. And so nice???? She's tall and thin and really, really kind. It's like being around a celebrity. Just figured you all would understand the "OMG" moment I had when I found out.
On a side note, it's been about a week since I've last used laxatives. Hoping that things continue to get better. Hope you all are doing okay.
[Rant/Rave] Life is just kicking me in the ass lately
/u/binkybarnes6969420 [5'2.5"|108.2|20.09|F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 16:03:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tolwg/life_is_just_kicking_me_in_the_ass_lately/
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There’s just so much shit going on right now for me I just want to go to sleep forever.
Last week my boyfriend of 2 months dumped me because he has to move this December.
My medication isn’t working anymore. I’m having suicidal thoughts again.
When I told my psychiatrist, he upped my dose. All that did was make me sleep 14+ hours a day and binge eat everything in sight.
I went to my psychiatrist, and he thinks I have ADHD. It makes sense but I have to be tested before we can medicate. In the meantime, he lowered my dose back down to what wasn’t working so I could sleep less.
The ADHD test proctor lady is on leave until the 14th and I don’t think I can hang on like this until then. I’m a mess. I am so sick of being the guinea pig for antidepressants that don’t work.
Right now, I can’t afford to be unfocused and depressed. I don’t have time to skip school to sleep all day. At the end of the month all of my college applications are due. I missed the deadline for early apps because I couldn’t sit down and fill out anything. I can’t sit down and write an essay because I can’t do anything but sleep and eat.
I have 3 speech and debate tournaments this month, one of which being tomorrow. I don’t know how I’m going to compete when I can barely get out of bed.
I’m not trying to sound like a druggie, but I need something to make me function(read: stimulants). I just feel like the reason every antidepressant I’ve been on since I was 13 didn’t work is because I’ve been treating the wrong thing. When my psychiatrist suggested ADHD everything started to make sense. I never seriously considered that I could have it because I was never aggressive or hyperactive as a child but looking back, my ability to focus and work on my own has been degrading since middle school. I only got by because I’m decently smart(or so he said to me).
Yesterday I got to school, but after first hour I just started freaking out so bad. I called my mom from the counselors office and begged her to come pick me up. She gave me a Klonopin when we got home and I knocked tf out. This is my life now.
I’m sorry for such a long post. I’m just venting I guess.
I will NOT c/s tomorrow
/u/coffeeandcamels [5"4.5 | 16.1 | CW: 95 | UGW: 85]
Created: Fri Nov 2 15:58:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tokbj/i_will_not_cs_tomorrow/
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I've been trying and failing to stop chewing and spitting forever. I've dropped a lot of behaviors in my life but this is one that seems impossible. but I have around 6 weeks to lose just over 10 pounds and I can't keep fucking it up. I have school and work, and I just need to keep myself occupied and not do it at all or I get in the mindset of "oh, I've messed up, the day is ruined". I'm close-ish to 85, relatively speaking (closer than I was, anyway) and I'm determined to get there by the final day of the semester.
Let's do this!!!
[Rant/Rave] Lost 8 kg, now lower TDEE
/u/leoloewe19
Created: Fri Nov 2 15:54:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9toinw/lost_8_kg_now_lower_tdee/
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So I went from 58 kg to 50 kg (159cm) in the last 2-3 months and i just calculated my TDEE - it went from 1835 to 1625 and if I ever get to 44 kg I will only burn 1515 calories even with light exercise! Omfg if I ever try to eat normal again I will gain sooo quick bc I am used to eating way more T. T also i will constantly lose slower. fuck this.
[Discussion] DAE have know-it-all significant others who make you feel like shit for the way you eat?
/u/lizbites
Created: Fri Nov 2 15:51:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tohr3/dae_have_knowitall_significant_others_who_make/
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As in:
“Everything in moderation”
“Just control yourself”
“You can’t keep off the weight by starving”
“Some fat is actually good for you”
“There’s nothing to be reasonably anxious about”
“It’s levi-OH-sah, not levio-SAH”
Because it’s the worst. Like yeah, I get it, I should probably eat something more than just a handful of candy corn today, but it’s my life, go fuck yourself
[Other] 184 calorie luncheon of champions 👊🤤
/u/binkybarnes6969420 [5'2.5"|108.2|20.09|F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 15:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9toder/184_calorie_luncheon_of_champions/
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https://i.redd.it/3xslthgdlzv11.jpg
My 184 calorie luncheon of champions 👊😩
/u/binkybarnes6969420 [5'2.5"|108.2|20.09|F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 15:35:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tocup/my_184_calorie_luncheon_of_champions/
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https://i.redd.it/15dkyeh1lzv11.jpg
Just binged... :(
/u/RaineeRose [5'3"| F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 15:31:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tobqb/just_binged/
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I just binged. It's been a long time, and I feel horrible. I can't let myself eat tomorrow. I hate it when I do this. Why do I do this?? I want to purge, but I've never been able to. Feel so bad.. Why don't I just quit everything now... Does anyone have any advice? I really think I'm at my lowest point now. :(
Caffeine shakes
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"| CW:141.5 | BMI:22.2 | GW:125 | 31F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 15:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9to6uu/caffeine_shakes/
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How do you get past this without eating a bunch of protein? When I have caffeine on an empty stomach, I get the shakes so bad. I work with hot liquids all day, so super shaky hands are extra frustrating and dangerous at work. Is there a way I can have caffeine and also bypass the shakes without eating? The only thing I've found that works is protein and water, but I'd rather avoid the calories if possible.
[Discussion] Anyone else always been 'naturally small' but obsessed with being thinner??
/u/bangsofsteel2 [5"3/BMI 19ish/ (made a new account)]
Created: Fri Nov 2 14:52:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnzs4/anyone_else_always_been_naturally_small_but/
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I am 5"2 and my weight this year has fluctuated between 104 and 112 lbs. The lowest weight I've been (at this height) was 89 and the highest has probably been 115. My shoulders are narrow and my frame is small. People have always called me small and I have never had pressure to lose weight. But I'm obsessed with it.
I feel like at this point it's almost a sick fascination, how small can I make myself, how little can I survive on. Even during binge phases I've never been above a bmi of 21 somehow but I constantly ITCH to make myself smaller.
The few times I've spoken openly about dieing I've been told to shut up. But my figure is so misshapen. I just want to be smaller. I don't know why. I don't even hate the way I look in photos or anything, I'm not uncomfortable with how people see me clothes and presented, it's so strange. I just want this for me.
I have no reason to want to make myself emaciated and yet I'm obsessed with taking myself from slim to skeletal.
Can anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] Fuck tic tacs
/u/rachelstormy
Created: Fri Nov 2 14:46:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tny3e/fuck_tic_tacs/
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I’ve been eating tic tacs under the impression that they’re calorie free, but I just learned each mint is actually “under 2 calories” I’m so pissed because I’ve probably eaten about 150 mints today and I could have had something WORTH those calories. It says ZERO on the package. This has ruined my entire day now, I was planning to eat a decent dinner but now I can’t.
[Rant/Rave] 😩 broke my fast by eating a damn cookie!
/u/mmblarg
Created: Fri Nov 2 14:46:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnxwt/broke_my_fast_by_eating_a_damn_cookie/
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It was just one but this was not what I planned! And after refusing donuts and candy and pure crap the last four days I flippin trip at the finish line!
Tomorrow was going to be my break day. Had probiotics, small portions of fruit and a ton of roasted and cooked veggies planned to kickstart my digestion the right way! And then i blow it all for a damn cookie!!!!
[Goal] “No-fucking-Up November”
/u/OTSonny
Created: Fri Nov 2 14:40:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnw1z/nofuckingup_november/
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Heard that used earlier in this thread.
I’m starting a juice cleanse Sunday for 3 days. I’m gonna start working out and eating healthy and trying my best to quit putting everything off like I have been doing. I’m gonna try to stop purging/binging. I want to feel my best before the holidays and start 2019 off great. I just have to find the self-control and determination I need to get that done.
[rant] Without a doubt c/s is the behavior I'm most in denial about
/u/apricaught [5'3"| 120| GW1 111 | 22F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 14:10:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnmrm/rant_without_a_doubt_cs_is_the_behavior_im_most/
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So like yeah, skipping work the other day so I could buy a fitbit off some dude on facebook for cheap was a little disordered, and maybe staring at people while they eat and my rules about when it's ok to eat and my calorie limits fluctuating are disordered and maybe millie's tea doesn't count as lunch and weighing out peanut butter and oats every single time isn't the healthiest for my recovery
but chewing and spitting butterfingers into my tea mug at work? t o t a l l y n o r m a l i just changed my mind halfway through the food and so that's eating intuitively because i'm l i s t e n i n g to my body im so healthy amirite that's why i kept going back for more and just kept changing my mind and that's completely not cutting into my productivity and dammit im so hungry now (or am I? what are hunger signals) but i need to leave room for booze!
recovery is going great guys
P.S. fuck you fitbit you and i both know i did not burn 150 calories walking a mile in 20 min to work
P.P.S. (or is it PSS? fuckit) I'm not even restricting that hard but my brain is acting like I'm wasted, wtf
[Rant/Rave] Don't bloody look at me
/u/ratorture [5'9 | 130 | 18.65| Perpetual Recovery Machine|]
Created: Fri Nov 2 14:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnlem/dont_bloody_look_at_me/
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Some recent comments:
'do you eat?'
'aren't you too skinny?'
'can you really lift that? youre so tiny.'
I fucking hate hearing this shit. I do not want to be noticed. Do not make remarks about my body, do not look at me. How am I supposed to respond to this, anyway? What do people who comment on other people's bodies want to hear in response? Why are people so obsessed with my weight lmao. Get a frickin life.
It makes me so uncomfortable that people notice my body enough to ask questions about it, think about it, maybe think about it even when they aren't looking at me. Do Not Do This, Please.
[Rant/Rave] It’s my 21st birthday, and all I can do is lay in bed exhausted, because I haven’t eaten in 2 days and have no energy.
/u/pinkie-pie-promise
Created: Fri Nov 2 14:05:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnl10/its_my_21st_birthday_and_all_i_can_do_is_lay_in/
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Yayyyyyyy
[Help] How to avoid eating at Birthday parties?
/u/small_moon_child
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:57:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnig1/how_to_avoid_eating_at_birthday_parties/
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November is birthday month in my family. This month alone I have 8 birthdays and I have no idea how I’m supposed to avoid going to all of them. I can manage for a bit but I’m constantly monitored my friends and family and don’t want to gain.
[Help] Does an hour of exercise a day help over all, or am I wasting my time?
/u/macespacee
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:45:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tneal/does_an_hour_of_exercise_a_day_help_over_all_or/
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I’ve never really been one to exercise , but lately I’ve been hitting the gym one hour a day and it feels awesome . Will this help me even if I’m still binging now and again? I mean , I only burn like 100 calories each time so I feel like there’s not a big difference
[Goal] 30 Day Update!!
/u/crookedlypoetic
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:37:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tnbt2/30_day_update/
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Alright y’all gorgeous creatures here it is! 30 days binge free, 30 days of restriction or fasting. Its been a wild ride and so much fun! But stats are king right?
I started at 210 and an obese BMI. I weighed in this morning at 185.2, the lowest weight I have been in my adult life and now an overweight BMI so yay! I lost 24.8 pounds and a total of 12% total body weight lost!! For the next week or so I will be rather high restricting to 1200 a day so I can move states and get settled in but then I am right back to it!
[Help] TMI but...BM help?!
/u/hmptrw
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:31:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tna1g/tmi_butbm_help/
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This is so gross but I’m so desperate. I’ve been painfully constipated for 2 days now, I don’t have any laxatives with me at the moment (ran out) and I’m absolutely at my wits end.
Any tips on how to have a BM without laxatives? I’m not even restricting right now, I don’t know what my stomachs problem is
I keep stuffing my fat face... this has been going on for two years now... I need to break this cycle finally
/u/numberedtables
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:28:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tn93l/i_keep_stuffing_my_fat_face_this_has_been_going/
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Hi all. I'm a long time lurker and also a long time attempter at getting control and happiness back. Two years ago this time, I was in a BMI range of 16-17 and I have never been happier. My god, I loved my tiny body, I had been waiting and trying for years just to finally get there and have a healthy relationship with food. I ate so healthily, logged every calorie, I could just stop any time, at any calorie amount. I could eat a snack I used to enjoy, shrug because it's not as good as I remembered and just _put it back_. I miss these times so much. Unfortunately during the holidays I snapped completely, and my schedule changed from very full to relatively empty and there was less distraction and I just binged almost every day... until I got as fat as _never_ before. Fuuuuuuck.
So, yeah, basically I've been trying to get there again using fasting and failing over and over for two years. I always think fasting is the way because I've done one week, almost two week fasts and felt weak but so great, in control, and I was losing weight. But it takes so much to get to a week and I've been failing over and over again.
I'm just so done, guys. I feel like I can never do it. I'm losing motivation again and transforming into an even fatter blob. I hate myself as I am now. I hate the feeling of tight clothing and fat rolls. I'm honestly so disgusting. I wish I could just get back into fasting and fast for two whole fucking months. I wish I could find enough discipline to get to a pretty body and good grades. I wish I could be someone else...
I'm doing a semester abroad currently and I thought it would help me... but here I'm even more miserable as I'm just depressed and not social most of the time. I have no one here that I can truly call my friend and I feel empty. My days are empty. I can only fill them with food to distract myself but i don't want to do that. I wish I had at least a better distraction. Can't I at least sleep the whole day instead? I'm just so sad and such a failure. Maybe I can't do it on my own after all.
Sorry about the rant, I just needed to get it out somewhere. I'm low-key freaking out. I hope you guys are doing good today.
[Help] Sad pls help
/u/fishonthesun
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:23:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tn7bp/sad_pls_help/
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Mods can you flair rant/rave or help? I'm kn mobile
Anyways recently I've been restricting well but everytime i eat healthy food i get nauseous. The only thing i can seem to stomach is baked goods. It's so weird. And i can only stomach very small amounts of any food.
And i wish i could eat a full healthy meal and dessert but at the same time i know that will make me gain and i just want to die and starve and get skinny or die trying
Anyways thanks for coming to my TED talk I'm sad
I went to a therapist yesterday
/u/blackberryhoney [5'7.5" | 139.6 | 21.5 | 0 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:15:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tn4wo/i_went_to_a_therapist_yesterday/
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I tried to tell her everything and basically just ended up a sobbing mess. Then she talked about herself a lot. Like if this your appointment I’m sorry?
I don’t know if I will be going back.
What saves you
/u/oh_sugah
Created: Fri Nov 2 13:15:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tn4rt/what_saves_you/
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When you are heavily restricting, what food keeps you from passing out? I keep protein shakes in my car and purse for emergencies but they’re 160 cal and I’d like something lower. I’d also prefer it not to be ‘junk food’.
I love chicken broth♡
/u/ImpishImp [Height 5'8"| CW 122.2lbs| BMI 18.38| Weight Lost ~13lbs|]
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:53:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmxpk/i_love_chicken_broth/
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So warm and salty. I could live off this stuff. That is all
[Help] Any tips to stop binging?
/u/trivialgirl
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:48:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmw3j/any_tips_to_stop_binging/
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I have been binging/purging pretty much staright every day for way too many weeks. I seem to be addicted to food, whenever I make the promise to not binge I get this weird pressure to eat and it feels absolutely irresistable. It's like this tension that I can only release through stuffing myself. But I always regret it afterwards.
The sad thing is I don't even restrict horribly low, so it feels like the binging isn't "justified".
It is destroying my physical and mental health, I just want to be able to excercise and eat a healthy 1300-1600 cals a day and lose weight while being healthy happy and vegan. (That's another thing too, when I binge I eat dairy and it disgusts me because I know horrible the circumstances are these foods are produced under but I eat them anyway :()
So help, I am in dire need for some good tips to get over these urges!
[Other] Lose it peeps?
/u/Fatalope
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:29:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmq39/lose_it_peeps/
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Any one else here use Lose it? My email on that (it's my throwaway email) is Noahyourbusiness@gmail.com feel free to add me!! I need some peeps to keep me motivated if others can see my progress it might make me more willing to keep up with losing weight
I’m so happy!!!
/u/eloana12
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:22:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmo1l/im_so_happy/
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Cute dude who massaged my shoulders asked
me out today!!! He said I’m his type, then said that was ‘relaxed, skinny girls.’ Heheheheh
You guys what should I do. Go on the date or not? wwyd?
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:22:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmo02/you_guys_what_should_i_do_go_on_the_date_or_not/
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Okay so I matched with this super cute guy on tinder and agreed to go out with him tomorrow night.
The thing is, I told myself I wouldn’t go on a date til I reached my goal weight, so I don’t know what to do.
I really don’t feel good about my body. I don’t feel sexy at all. And I don’t understand how a guy could find me sexy either. So what’s the point of going on this date?
I guess there’s part of me that thinks there’s a small chance that maybe he will think I’m attractive !!1! But who am I kidding probably not
What would you do in my situation?? Cancel or go on the date ..
[Help] Purging Alcohol?
/u/doubledigitsplease
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmnox/purging_alcohol/
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Anyone purge alcohol here? If so, does it help calorie wise? I’m getting mimosas and drinking afterword during the day with a group of friends, but honestly I really don’t want the calories.
Any input is appreciated, thanks!!
[Goal] please motivate me
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:18:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmmu1/please_motivate_me/
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I’ve had a horrible binge cycle and the only way to “undo” it mathematically is 5 days of fasting.
the longest i’ve ever fasted was 24 hours or so. i probably shouldn’t do this all in a row, right? i don’t want to trigger more bingeing.
my plan is to do 2 days , then eat like 1200-1500 one day, then another day fasting, then eat 1200-1500 again, and then fast one more day. then begin regular restricting.
any advice or motivation for me? i am not even close to my highest weight but i have never felt fatter
[Rant/Rave] Opinions on smaller stomachs/stomach shrinking??
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:112 | 17.4 |]
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:16:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmm72/opinions_on_smaller_stomachsstomach_shrinking/
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So I have a few friends who are skinny. One of them eats really well (like well rounded, eats healthy and unhealthy foods, all food groups, etc) but just small portions because she says her stomach gets full quicker. I have no reason to believe she has an ED because she has a rather healthy relationship with food.
Do you guys think your stomach gets used to smaller portions and “shrinks”? I know mine seems to shrink when I’m heavily restricting but I feel like then I can go back to bigger portions really quickly. I wish I could become full on smaller portions... is this natural? Trained?
Wondering what others think!
I feel like every time I want to "recover", the ED gods put something in front of me that just makes me say "nahhhh."
/u/bullymeahhh
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmlbq/i_feel_like_every_time_i_want_to_recover_the_ed/
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https://i.redd.it/gz989hw7lyv11.jpg
Hi! I’m new here!
/u/bunners89
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:06:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmioj/hi_im_new_here/
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Hello everyone
I finally made an alt profile after lurking forever. I think my ED is getting out of hand and I like it.
Rant ahead.
I’m 29F and I’ve always I liked my body until I was at my highest weight last year. I lost 9kgs and maintained it. I’m 5’6” and 54kgs as of today.
I moved aboard with my husband 4 years ago. I’ve been unemployed for 4 years now. I have a history of abuse and horrible parents so I have no support systems. I’ve hit rock bottom. I feel like a huge failure and the only way I don’t feel useless is by having the perfect body.
My husband makes good money but being a housewife with no kids is mind numbingly boring. I feel absolutely worthless.
I’ve been eating one meal a day and under 500cal for a few weeks now and I feel amazing. I love feeling my wrist and collar bones. I have no plans of telling my therapist or my husband of my eating habits.
We are going to Thailand in January and my goal is to lose 5kgs (goal weight 48kgs) and have a flat stomach and visible hip bones by then. I want my life on Instagram to look prefect and like I have it all.
Thanks for listening ❤️
If you know goure going to beina social situation where you have to wat, do you fast until the evnt or pre-break it?
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:01:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmh78/if_you_know_goure_going_to_beina_social_situation/
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I've been fasting for like 36 hours at this point and have to go to an event later where I know I'll need to eat. Should I fast until the event or is smarter to like eat a protein bar before hand to avoid overeating unhealthy things at the event? What would you do?
[Discussion] How many of you date overweight/fat guys and what do you think of their eating habits?
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Fri Nov 2 12:01:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmh1x/how_many_of_you_date_overweightfat_guys_and_what/
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I’m just curious. When I was younger and my Ed was in full power I was so into big guys, tall and on the heavier side because it made me feel smaller and petite.
Now I’m older (25) and my ED is back and I’m dating someone who’s clearly overweight again. It’s not because of his body though, I don’t really care about looks as much anymore, it just happened. But now I see that it kinda disgusts me to see how much he eats.
On one hand I get this weird satisfaction from not eating anything while he eats and I also really enjoy looking at all those foods I would never ever not even in binge mode even touch and seriously, I don’t even know why, but I also feel kind of HAPPY?? for him when he eats. He always lets me choose between places he’d like to eat at even though he’s the only one eating and it makes me feel like I decided for myself and ate it but without the calories somehow, so yeah super sick probably but it makes me happy. And his fridge is so terrifyingly full but not with low cal snacks like mine when I’m great at restricting, he has like four different types of cheese and different bread and jam and peanut butter and just everything. Once I’ve asked him why he bought such a big ass block of cheese when he lives alone and he said it’ll be gone in three days because he likes to snack and then he described what he eats with it. Seriously, it was like sex to me. Mhmm yeah tell me about your nightly snacking habits baby
On the OTHER hand though sometimes it really disgusts me. I know it’s my ED brain but I catch myself thinking “omg why does he want to eat a warm meal again, didn’t he already eat YESTERDAY” which is probably not a normal and healthy thought to have or I secretly count the calories of the food he eats while I’m around. I know it’s mean.
Does anyone else feel like that?
Thought i was strong enough not to binge....
/u/feelsomethinggg [5'7 |178|28.1|-4|GW 120|F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:56:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmfbm/thought_i_was_strong_enough_not_to_binge/
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I was doing so great. I had stayed under 500 calories for 4 days.
Then halloween. My friend and I went out for drinks. I only planned on 2 so I could stay under on calories and still eat a little. But no....i was pressured into eating so there wouldn't be questions. I only had a salad and a little soup. But then I got a side of hushpuppies. So stupid......
The yesterday was a binge fest.
So here i am about to fast for the next 48 hours.
Ugh cheers to everyone who has stuck to their goals..
Stay safe all.
[Discussion] Go-to Movie Snacks?
/u/sydenyp
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:40:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tmafe/goto_movie_snacks/
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It’s pretty common for my S/O or friends to want movie snacks in place of a meal, or even in addition to. Because ya know, they’re ~normal~ eaters. They definitely expect me to be eating something as well, so I usually sneak my own in. I bring carrots, cut up fruit, goldfish or rice cakes a lot of the time. If I feel like I have to buy something I’ll go for twizzlers and try to eat them as slowly as possible or “forget” about them (lmao like I could forget about them).
So what are y’all snacking on at the movies while needing to not look so sus?
Could someone please help me understand these blood test results?
/u/questions_anonymous [5'6.5" | 114 | 18.1 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:38:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tm9w9/could_someone_please_help_me_understand_these/
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Let me preface this: I'm not asking for any diagnosis, just interpretation. My cholesterol levels are baffling me. Total cholesterol and ldl are both high, but my hdl is also very high, so my ratio is good (I think? it's 2.8 for what that's worth) and my triglycerides are in the 30s. I'm a 20-something non-smoker with a healthy weight who exercises 4-6 times a week and does IF, so what's up? Also, my glucose was borderline high, but last time I had it checked it was low?? Please help me put these puzzle pieces together so I can see the bigger picture.
[Help] Do weight loss subliminals work
/u/cantburnme
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:28:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tm6gx/do_weight_loss_subliminals_work/
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My friend told me about these weight loss subliminals she’s been listening to overnight and told me to try them. I’m not sure if they work but she said that she lost 5 pounds so far. I don’t understand how they work, I know you have to drink a lot of water before you do it. has anyone done this?
Tapeworm eggs
/u/fishaboveH2O
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tm5nl/tapeworm_eggs/
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Anyone know how to get tapeworm eggs shipped to the US? Yeah I know I’m an idiot and it’s dangerous
Just a friendly reminder that if you’re shitting on “thicc” women, you’re shitting on black/brown women and need to do better.
/u/m3th4n3
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:21:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tm4dl/just_a_friendly_reminder_that_if_youre_shitting/
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Tiny waists and big asses do occur naturally in nature. They may be “trendy” now that white women are getting surgery to mimic us because men are starting to fetishize our bodies more in pop culture, but there is nothing wrong, ugly, or unnatural about the way black and brown women’s bodies are shaped.
If this sub is supposed to be a safe space for people with eating disorders, it needs to be safe for people of all genders, races, and ethnicities. Not just white girls who are killing themselves to be “heroin chic.”
I've gained it all back
/u/supergirlofsteel [Height 5'3"| CW 122 lbs | BMI 21.6]
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:12:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tm1m4/ive_gained_it_all_back/
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In the beginning of this year I started losing weight. And I lost around 11 or 12 pounds. And now, it's all back and I don't know how to cope anymore. I keep looking at myself and feeling like I have a huge balloon for a stomach and thighs that just lump together. It's disgusting. Ever since I started my sophomore year of college it's been so easy to just eat out for lunch and eat and eat. I'm disgusted with myself. I don't want to feel this way again ...
[Rant/Rave] When you post to r /fasting and hope to god no one checks your profile to see all the r /proED posts
/u/mmblarg
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:12:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tm1lh/when_you_post_to_r_fasting_and_hope_to_god_no_one/
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I really should make separate accounts, but i’m lazy 😜
[Rant/Rave] He won’t be intimate with me...
/u/travelers-unite [5'8" | CW:155 | GW:100 | ♂]
Created: Fri Nov 2 11:00:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlxbr/he_wont_be_intimate_with_me/
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For the last few days, I can barely get more than a quick hug or a peck on the cheek out of my husband. No matter how much I try to initiate sex or even just be physically close, he just isn’t about it.
It’s probably because he’s stressed about something or isn’t feeling well, but I can’t help but think that it’s because of my weight.
At least I broke 150 today! At this rate, I’ll be at my goal weight by about this time next year, and even faster if I can get the strength to restrict and run even more. Maybe then I won’t feel so unattractive.
[Help] bloated af pls send help
/u/CS191
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:57:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlwbn/bloated_af_pls_send_help/
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I ate at maintenance (didn’t count but probably 1500-2000 at most) for TWO days and I’m ridiculously bloated. My waist grew 3-4 inches in those two days. I’m super stressed and I leave on a trip tomorrow night, so I need all the help I can get to fit into my shorts and not look like I’m seven months pregnant.
I ate carbs and candy and fatty foods, but nowhere close to a binge, my body just hates me. I have 36 hours before my flight and I can’t fast because of my parents. I’m currently hating myself for trying to be normal and eating in front of my friends, drinking a ton of water, and avoiding carbs. I’m not near my period so it’s not that (I’m ovulating according to Clue but idk if it’s that).
What can I do??
[Discussion] DAE have their groceries delivered?
/u/Cryglass99 [5´0 | 91| 17.8| 12 | 19F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:55:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlvrd/dae_have_their_groceries_delivered/
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I use Instacart, and IMO it’s worth it. California is expensive AF in general lol, but especially in my college town, prices are ugghhh.
There are no good grocery stores within walking distance from my apartment, so I get my groceries from downtown. I don’t have a car, and I would NOT want to carry my heavy groceries all the way back to my apartment lol.
Instacart is pretty convenient to use: I can look at the items with coupons/on sale, and if you buy some items, you even get free delivery.
It’s also a plus that the people who deliver your groceries are friendly(I can honestly say I’ve never had a bad interaction with any of the Instacart deliverers) I’m sure most of us here have had experiences with nosy AF cashiers who make tbh stupid and rude AF comments.
My favorite store to order from is Sprouts, and their delivery fee is just $3.99🙂 I’m just waiting for the day Trader Joe’s finally comes to Instacart😂
[Rant/Rave] Life has it in for me
/u/3-months-to-45
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:39:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlqhk/life_has_it_in_for_me/
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I uh... I've been stalking here a while, but the final straw broke today and I made an alt account to vent.
I've suffered from AN B/P type for a year now. I've finally taken steps toward recovery but it's still been really rough. Today, my high school had a blood drive, and I signed up to donate.
I finally managed to eat a meal without feeling guilty because of it, my breakfast this morning. I knew it was for a good cause, and I also knew that the calories wouldn't matter too much, because of what donating does.
I get into the clinic.
Everything goes fine, I pass all the tests, I'm ready to donate. Then things start to go downhill.
The guy who was doing all the stuff seemed to be super new. He put the BP cuff on backwards, and had to get someone to help him find my vein. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and kept my mouth shut. Then he stuck the needle in, and fucked it up. He took it back out a bit, then shit hit the fan. Air contamination happened, they couldn't use the supplies anymore, and they aren't allowed to double stick minors in a school. Fuck my life.
I'm literally crying right now, after futilely attempting to purge everything. I can't stop sobbing and I feel so stupid for it, but I'm just so fucking mad. My arm has the goddamn bandage over it and I just want to shrivel up and die. I even have to deal with friends and pizza later, bc I was feeling okay enough to invite them over for a movie and pizza, and now I feel like a toilet about that. Why is this so fucking hard?
I think this is the only sub that will appreciate this
/u/jjfmish [5'6 | SW: 163lbs | CW: 142lbs | GW: 130lbs (for now) | 19/F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:20:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlke8/i_think_this_is_the_only_sub_that_will_appreciate/
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But holy shit. I saw an old picture from like a year and a half ago and I can’t believe how different my chest area looks.
https://imgur.com/a/Q9v0zHE
[Rant/Rave] I’m not dreading the “you’ve lost weight!” Comments anymore (Rant)
/u/doubledigitsplease
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:16:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlj3r/im_not_dreading_the_youve_lost_weight_comments/
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When I’ve relapsed in the past, I’d get the classic “you look different!!” comments or something along those lines. I used to be really sensitive to this. Like, obviously I’m 20 pounds lighter, but I never wanted anyone to think back to when I was heavier at all. I just wanted to erase it from the past. Now that I’ve hit the 20 pound mark and I’m about to see some people I haven’t seen in 1, 2, 3 months, I’m ready for it if they happen.
Now, I’m not really dreading it as much. In my newfound perspective, I’d rather be HERE than where I was 3 months ago. Like at least my progress is noticeable and not in my head!
Personally I know I’m at a weight that I look healthy at still, so it’ll be a different story when I approach the 18.5 BMI range....but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
[Rant/Rave] Have been going nowhere for the past year and a half
/u/nycthrowaway51 [5' 4" | CW: 101 | GW: 97 | BMI: 17.3 | M]
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:13:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tli6w/have_been_going_nowhere_for_the_past_year_and_a/
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It's so frustrating. After hitting my lowest weight (and highest mood) last August, I've been stuck in a seemingly endless restrict-binge cycle. My weight goes up and down the same 5 pounds. Sometimes I wonder why I still do this when it seems so pointless. This, on top of all the other stressors in my life, feels hellish at times. I feel constantly tormented by either hunger or frustration and disgust. I don't really want any advice, just wanted to rant a little. Thanks for reading this mess.
Thanks for zero calorie stevia drops
/u/schizomaticly
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:11:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlhi8/thanks_for_zero_calorie_stevia_drops/
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https://i.redd.it/b2owvp24zxv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Just (tried to) purged at work
/u/warm_tamale [5'2" | cw: 114lb | gw: 105lb | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 10:05:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlfe5/just_tried_to_purged_at_work/
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After a breakfast presentation with a vendor that brought croissants.
Unfortunately, none of the croissants came up, only the fuck ton of water I had :(
Anyway, I hope you guys are having a better Friday!
anyone else love being sick bc you know you’ll lose weight ?
/u/tired_platypus [5' 3'' | CW: 119 lbs | GW: 90 lbs | HW: 131 lbs | F17]
Created: Fri Nov 2 09:50:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tlagg/anyone_else_love_being_sick_bc_you_know_youll/
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i’ve been sick for like two weeks and when i weighed myself the other day i lost like 3 pounds and i checked this morning and i’m already regaining, time for a water fast :)
Avoided a binge and want to tell someone
/u/cervidaes [5’4 | 158 | GW: 125 | UGW: 115]
Created: Fri Nov 2 09:47:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tl9ae/avoided_a_binge_and_want_to_tell_someone/
---
Yesterday was a good day for me. I ate a light lunch and really wanted to skip dinner because I felt fat ... I was meeting a friend at the airport who is skinnier than me and I always feel awkward eating around her. But I didn’t because I told myself I needed to eat because I am trying to fight against my ED and stay healthy, I want to lose weight and I’m trying really hard not to let it fall back into ED this time. So I ate a small and healthy dinner. When we got to our destination and met up with our friend she suggested we go get Wendy’s. They both ordered a bunch of food and I really wanted to, I felt like it was “okay” because I was with two skinny people who were also ordering junk but I said no I’m good and didn’t order anything, and drink tea while they ate their wendy’s. It honestly felt amazing and I clocked in at just under 1,000 cals yesterday and woke up this morning feeling confident. If I had skipped dinner like I wanted to I would have definitely binged and felt like shit the next day and starved myself. Just like old times. But I didn’t and I’m so much better today for it. I never regretted NOT binging after extreme restricting but it’s inevitable for me ... and I’m trying to remind myself of that. Now today I am going to try and eat a square 1200 calories and avoid temptation, that’s my goal. I’m just feeling proud of myself, I can do this.
New ED Discord server.
/u/XSkeletonGirlX
Created: Fri Nov 2 09:32:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tl4hj/new_ed_discord_server/
---
Just wanted to put it out there that I have a new Discord server/chat group set up now:
https://discord.gg/8fHKsdq
[Rant/Rave] I’m so happy!!!!
/u/an0nym0usl33
Created: Fri Nov 2 09:19:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tl0ez/im_so_happy/
---
If you see my post history you’ll see me talking of a dude massaging my shoulders. That cute dude asked me out!!!! Said I’m ‘so his type,’ which he then said were relaxed skinny girls hehehehe.
I feel really pretty today which means...
/u/lorabore [5'6 | CW: 140 lbs | BMI: 21 | -100 lbs| 29F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:56:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tktds/i_feel_really_pretty_today_which_means/
---
I have no where to go.
My daughter and I dyed our hair pink last night and I got up this morning and did a really cute mermaid-inspired aqua makeup. Stepped on the scale and I'm at a new low weight of 135 lbs. I haven't weighed this little in 12 years- basically senior year of high school.
I put on my super cute outfit and my collar bones were visible. Dropped my daughter off at school and started heading to the university when I got a text from both of my professors telling me all of my classes were cancelled because they are all sick.
So I guess I'll sit around my house and work on my thesis while looking adorable before I go to the gym later and become sweaty and trollish.
[Other] Last Night at McDonald's
/u/pugaachan [5'7" | CW 115 | BMI 17.95 | 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:55:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tksx1/last_night_at_mcdonalds/
---
I've been caught in a terrible b/p cycle for the last week and half that I've been unable to break. I've been so good for months, sticking to being vegan and everything. But last night, I caved in and went to MCD. The whole drive there, I was trying to shove all the nutritional information out of my head, trying to justify something I know I shouldn't be having. Especially on top of all the gross stuff I ate earlier in that night.
So I make it to to MCD. AND THEIR DRIVE THRU IS BROKEN. So I HAVE to go inside if I want it so badly. I stared at my swollen, red eyes and aggravated acne in the car mirror for a solid 5 minutes, disgusted with myself and trying to build up the courage to go inside or either go home.
I end up inside, at the counter. Now that I'm confronted with the cashier and there's people around me, I don't want to order nearly as much as I think I could inhale. But I still end up with more than one person needs.
As I'm internally panicking, lost in my own disordered thoughts, the cashier tells me the total and then adds "you should know that you're really pretty by the way."
I just stopped everything I was doing and wanted to cry my eyes out to this random stranger. She has no idea how many times I've been in the bathroom shoving my hand down my throat today, how many scars I added to my body, how many tears I've been shedding about how ugly and fat I am all day. And she made me actually feel better? I wouldn't normally care what a random stranger says about me, but it just meant a lot in that moment.
Yeah, I still devoured all the food like a fatass and felt awful about myself, but I'll definitely remember her comment next time I think I look like actual human garbage. The dsymorphia has quite a hold on me and my mind and she kind of broke it for a second and I appreciated that.
New discord chat group.
/u/XSkeletonGirlX
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:54:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tksp8/new_discord_chat_group/
---
Just wanted to put it out there that I have a new Discord server/chat group set up now:
https://discord.gg/8fHKsdq
[Help] Smooth Move Tea Question (TMI Warning!)
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:45:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkq0s/smooth_move_tea_question_tmi_warning/
---
Hi everyone!
So last night, I tried Smooth Move Peppermint tea for the first time. I made a full mug and steeped it for 12 minutes. TMI part, I had the WORST gas all night after I drank it and its continued to this morning...but nothing else has happened.
I have had my morning breakfast (coffee + 90 cal fiber one bar) with a large glass of water and still nothing.
I go into a day of meetings in about an hour and would like to move it along if it's going to happen. Is there a way to do this? Has anyone ever had this tea and nothing happened?
[Discussion] Does anyone else “eat with your hands”
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:41:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkoty/does_anyone_else_eat_with_your_hands/
---
I used to work in a bakery and at the end of the night I had to throw out a lot. Before I relapsed I ate some but now I either c/s or smoosh it with my hands. It’s amazing and satisfying. You feel all the textures and frosting and shit. I also do it whenever people give me food. My coworker gives me breakfast sandwiches that were left over and around 500-600 calories. I would just take them home and smoosh them. Sorry this got so long lol
Passed out during exercise... need advice
/u/jade360
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:40:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkolb/passed_out_during_exercise_need_advice/
---
To the excessive exercisers in this community :
Recently had an incident at my gym
were I was doing cardio and once I stopped totally felt lightheaded and ended up passing out for a few seconds . Went to Doctors to have tests done and everything came back normal. I feel like now I can’t do cardio because I’m scared this will happen again, it wasn’t a fun time. I know it might be due to my restricting (obviously didn’t tell anyone this) but working out really helps me cope with my mental health. Now my boyfriend has become a little suspicious and commenting on my eating habits. So definitely don’t want this happening again. Has this happened to anyone else?? I do try to have something small to eat before hand and I also drink so much water. What do you guys do to not get lightheaded during your workouts??? Thank you .
[Discussion] anyone else have striking moments of clarity
/u/Whoevera
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:39:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tko4u/anyone_else_have_striking_moments_of_clarity/
---
Does anyone else walk around all day feeling like a fat cow, spend too long staring at yourself in the mirror hating what you see regularly
then all of a sudden you catch a quick glimpse of your reflection and you see how tiny you are
and then you’re just mindfucked for the rest of the day and decide you can’t trust your own eyes
water is wet
/u/allevana
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:32:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tklwo/water_is_wet/
---
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/people-link-body-shapes-with-personality-traits.html
[Help] Starbucks?
/u/teapip99
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:28:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkkqa/starbucks/
---
I just went to Starbucks and got a tall iced latte w/ almond milk but can’t find the cals anywhere as they only list cals for reg recipes!! Any idea how much this would be :)
Purged for the first time and it feels like I'm in a dream
/u/Poopsmasherthrowaway
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:15:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkgk4/purged_for_the_first_time_and_it_feels_like_im_in/
---
I always told myself no matter how hard I restricted, even if I messed up and binged, i would never purge. One, for obvious reasons of health and addiction. Two, I didn't want it to be a crutch for everytime I over eat rather than punishing myself into not doing it again and living with the calories. Three, I have a very hard time accepting that I have distorted eating and def not bulimic. Four, purging is incredibly painful for me and I avoid it at all costs when I'm sick, drunk, whatever. Which moves me to my next thought. I started off the morning fine, had my big sf redbull and a rice cake 3 hours later. Then I had some Thai soup, then something just fucking switched and I started eating everything I could and as fast as I could while chugging water because I just wanted to be full.
I then sat on my floor and debated on whether I wanted to live with having a stuffed belly, feeling disgusting, living with my regret. Or I can try purging. I told myself I wouldn't and that's the end of it but again something just fucking switched like before a binge and I walked like a robot void of emotion to the bathroom and did the deed.
It hurt, I'm not even sure I got it all out but I kept berating myself and couldn't stop until I absolutely couldn't take it anymore. My throat os scratchy and my face feels hot and my eyes are glossy and watery. I don't know what happens now and I don't know how I feel.
I feel like I just opened a door I won't be able to close and I'm horrified. I don't know what to do. I know if I'm weak and binge I'll do it again if I'm disgusted enough with myself.
Either way my husband just asked if I wanted anything on his way back from the gym and I feel like I'm gonna say yes and hate myself all over again. I'll fast tomorrow and try to forget today ever existed. Is this my life now? Is this what I do to become skinny now? I'm so afraid and nobody knows about this, it's a secret I would go to the grave with. I don't know what else to say. Maybe just if you can relate or a kind word, a story, support...anything. I just need someone to understand because I feel so alone.
Forced to go to the ER yesterday, and other college adventures!
/u/aconnescaper [21.8 bmi | -21.0 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkfh1/forced_to_go_to_the_er_yesterday_and_other/
---
Well my dudes, the past 24 hours have absolutely sucked.
My girlfriend, who also suffers from an ED, got sent to inpatient yesterday on an emergency basis by her therapist. I'm glad she went and I think it's the next step forward in her recovery, but of course I'm sad she's going to be gone for a while and I'm sad she has to suffer so much on this bitch of an earth. None of us deserve this.
Bad person confession: I also got jealous that she's "sick enough" to get treatment and get help, and I feel like I'm not and will never be "sick enough."
So I did what any reasonable person would do and didn't eat anything besides an entire litre of wine, drunkenly stumbled up to a staff person's office and told them about it, then I disappeared for a few hours, reappeared to dramatically/drunkenly tell friends I wanted to die and wanted to drop out of therapy/support group/etc., disappeared again aaaaand.....
My friends (rightfully) called security and staff members and they found me walking around the track in middle of the night like a proper psycho. Got hauled to the ER and "evaluated" - which was total BS by the way, I just told them I wasn't suicidal and I wanted to leave and they were like "oh OK bye then."
I was really rude and unappreciative to the staff members all night. It was entirely the ED talking but I really regret how I acted now and I'm going to go apologize to them all individually.
They also called my dad (who is...not great) and now I have to deal with that.
I'm just... such a gross person lmao. My ED makes me such a bad person.
Idk y'all.
Over the past 5 years, these are all the ED-related or ED-caused health issues I've had:
-pacemaker put in for one heart issue, due to BP and restriction (2014)
-diagnosed with another type of tachycardia (2016)
-gallbladder ruptured (2015)
-surgery on my throat/tonsils directly related to bulimic behavior (current)
-critically low potassium, magnesium, vitamin levels, etc. due to anorexic and bulimic behavior (current)
But, you know, I still don't feel "sick enough" so what is even the point.
This is hell! Fuck this so much.
I have to meet with school staff again to make a "success plan" for liability reasons, no idea how that's going to go.
Wish me luck.
We don't fucking deserve this shit, guys.
How did your weight loss/gain affect your social life?
/u/creamybae3
Created: Fri Nov 2 08:07:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkea3/how_did_your_weight_lossgain_affect_your_social/
---
Asking because I'm huge right now from binging. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I don't have any friends. I keep postponing being social until I lose weight. Just want to know how your social life was at your lowest weight compared to your highest weight, and if I will be a loner forever
could this be Ed related
/u/throwaway956rgv
Created: Fri Nov 2 07:54:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tkacq/could_this_be_ed_related/
---
https://i.redd.it/ztfbr5vtaxv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Can I just take a minute to RAVE about this 0 calorie, 0 carb, 0 sugar tea boost with 120mg caffeine?? It will change your life.
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Fri Nov 2 07:42:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tk71x/can_i_just_take_a_minute_to_rave_about_this_0/
---
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00URQUJ1M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_lof3BbJEGX7ZX
Is peach down??
/u/getfreefromfood
Created: Fri Nov 2 07:19:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tk0in/is_peach_down/
---
I’m trying to stop a binge and it’s not loading for me and I’m FREAKING out
[Help] I feel so gross
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Fri Nov 2 07:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjytk/i_feel_so_gross/
---
So yesterday i ate about 600 calories and we t from 116 to 117/118. I knew I shouldn’t have had solid food. I hate myself. I’m fasting today and eating light tomorrow. But I’m still so mad at myself.
[Rant/Rave] How the fuck do you date while having an ED?
/u/peanutbutterismylife [5'6" | CW: 86 | BMI: 13.9 | 21 / F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 06:54:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjtnf/how_the_fuck_do_you_date_while_having_an_ed/
---
I have a date tonight, and now I remember why I have tried as hard as possible to avoid male attention for the last three years. First off, every social activity involves calories. I've luckily managed to avoid a meal tonight, but we're meeting for drinks instead. Which means ingesting a dumb amount of calories from shitty beer I don't like (since there's not a full bar so I can just order Diet Coke and vodka). Second is the fact that in order to not look like a whale I have to fast all day because the second I eat anything my stomach bloats up like a pregnant woman. And third is how the hell are you supposed to let anyone see you naked if you can't stand to see yourself without clothes?
How do those of you in relationships deal with all this crap? I'm in awe.
[Rant/Rave] Drunk and eating pumpkin pie in the shower at 7:30am. Why me. 🙃
/u/scrawnybonney
Created: Fri Nov 2 06:35:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjojx/drunk_and_eating_pumpkin_pie_in_the_shower_at/
---
https://i.redd.it/2yneqf2owwv11.jpg
You know it’s going to be a bad day when...
/u/elsacouchnaps
Created: Fri Nov 2 06:16:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjjw7/you_know_its_going_to_be_a_bad_day_when/
---
You eat 2 packages of ramen before 8 AM & your Amazon Fresh order comes later.
I hope everyone else has a great day! Love you all ❤️
When you are concerned about calorie info and then you check and the vape juice actually lists calories... :D
/u/liveinthemeoww
Created: Fri Nov 2 06:15:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjjk6/when_you_are_concerned_about_calorie_info_and/
---
https://imgur.com/a/rVrXJja
[Other] I chose the higher calorie option today🎉
/u/sugarolive
Created: Fri Nov 2 06:13:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjj6z/i_chose_the_higher_calorie_option_today/
---
I‘ve been hardcore restricting for the past few days but today I bought a salad which had 30 calories more than the other one, just because I knew i would like it more. This is a big win for me since I normally always choose the lower calorie option and I just hope I can be normal again one day ugh lol
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! November 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 2 06:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjimi/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for November 02, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! November 02, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 2 06:11:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjiku/daily_food_diary_november_02_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 02, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] Bein too sleepy after a binge to purge uuuuurgh
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Fri Nov 2 05:50:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjceg/bein_too_sleepy_after_a_binge_to_purge_uuuuurgh/
---
How many of y’all just TOO damn tired after a binge to purge??
Like I’ma still do it but fuuuuuck purging is so exhausting. REEE
[Help] terrified of losing my period again
/u/Annewellmorrel [18F|SW100kg|UGW50kg|5’6]
Created: Fri Nov 2 05:48:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tjc2t/terrified_of_losing_my_period_again/
---
hey y’all, I’ve been doing pretty well. my period came as normal this month but it was super brief... I lost it once, due to restriction, for a year and a half. I was so so stupid and irresponsible back then, so I was grateful when it came back. If I ever miss it again I’ll be seeing the doctor promptly, I’m just really scared now cause it was so short and... gross, I know, but there just wasn’t a *lot* of it. There wasn’t *enough*, like.
I’ll be stopping restriction for at least 2 weeks starting this Tuesday, just gonna eat at maintenance. I’ve already lost 20 kg so it’s time to take a break. And I’ve already bought tons of meat to cook (each one with like 20g of butter, apparently that it really helps) for myself for the next week or so, to increase my protein and iron. Anything else you would recommend?
I didn't binge or drink last night 😎
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 05:39:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tj9lu/i_didnt_binge_or_drink_last_night/
---
Just wanted to share/brag. I've been having a hard time cutting down on alcohol , which ALWAYS fuels a binge. Yesterday I wanted to do my regular post-work grocery store visit where I get wine and non-vegan junk and go home and waste the evening. Instead I just stayed home, vaped, cooked my curry rice for the next few days and read a book! Today I'm not hungover, feel proud I'm moving toward my goals and just am happy I'm conquering this demon!!
Targeted ads hitting too close to home
/u/Whose_cat_is_that
Created: Fri Nov 2 05:18:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tj4kf/targeted_ads_hitting_too_close_to_home/
---
https://i.imgur.com/yAOsFGQ.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I just got my senior pictures back and oh god...
/u/okbunnie
Created: Fri Nov 2 05:18:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tj4k4/i_just_got_my_senior_pictures_back_and_oh_god/
---
Yup, I really wanted to fast a lot before but of course I couldn’t. I binged the day they were taken and it’s so obvious.
I really don’t want to submit anything because I look so ugly and clearly fat in them all. It really sucks and I wish I was actually skinny.
Here we go weekend waterfast!
What can I have to give me energy and stop the nausea during fasting that won't kick me out of ketosis?
/u/midori_xo
Created: Fri Nov 2 04:38:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tiw9o/what_can_i_have_to_give_me_energy_and_stop_the/
---
Please don't say eat a meal :( I'll just binge.. what's something small that will get me through the day at school?
BMI calculator?
/u/TheRealMarsRover
Created: Fri Nov 2 03:54:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9timqy/bmi_calculator/
---
Which BMI calculator do you use/trust? I know there is one listed in the rules but I’m skeptical since it’s different from the CDD one.
Also, anyone else have trust issues with food or things involving weight? I don’t trust baristas to not use full fat milk. I don’t trust BMI calculators. I don’t trust calorie labels. Some days I don’t trust my scale. I don’t trust a measuring tape. And on and on and on. I feel like the only thing I can trust in is Diet Coke lmao
[Rant/Rave] ”You’re like a size 2!”
/u/_Pulltab_ [67"| CW 155| 24.2| -50| F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 03:52:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9timbc/youre_like_a_size_2/
---
That’s what my hairdresser said yesterday when I saw her for the first time in 4 months since I’ve dropped 40 pounds.
Uh, no, babe, not even close. Not ever, actually. But Imma gonna try now! 🤣
[Rant/Rave] 🎶 fuUuUUUUUUuckkk dysmOrphîaaaa 🎶
/u/lightningmcqueef69
Created: Fri Nov 2 03:45:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9til2h/fuuuuuuuuuuckkk_dysmorphîaaaa/
---
[word vomit ahead]
y'all. friends. buddies. pals. i am so angry with myself. i planned on fasting until next thursday -- would have been saturday when my friend comes over but i wanted to give myself time to ease into breaking the fast bc eating only fruit and broth is kinda sus -- but i had a weird ass day yesterday and ended up binging on pasta, granola bars, and fucking ice cream. ya pal successfully fasted on halloween but cannot resist ben & jerry's half-baked ice cream. and my intestines are yelling at me.
but the thing is, i'm still 700cal under my goals for this week so far. so why is my brain yelling at me? i don't even look bloated (thanks lax/diurex) but my ed is screaming that i should quit my job and become a hermit because i'm too fat to make anyone look at me. the last time i weighed i was 128, which i logically know is a perfectly normal weight. my clothes are still loose. but this bitch is still scared to go on another date with the amazing person i've been seeing because i won't have lost enough weight??? fuuck this i'm so tired of feeling unworthy and stressing over absolutely everything. i feel like a failure if i eat anything with Calories™. recovery is sure as hell not an option though, bc i'm definitely not visibly ill enough. i want to look like i'm dying first lmao. fuck this disorder and fuck my brain for noticing the same habits in my sister, i don't know how to help her without admitting my own problems. i'll hire someone to come stab me so i don't have to deal with this shit anymore.
[end rant]
[Help] I don’t like coffee anymore?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 03:40:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tijvj/i_dont_like_coffee_anymore/
---
This sucks guys.
I’ve always been a huge fan of coffee, but lately drinking it has been a chore. I don’t know why I just woke up one day and didn’t like it anymore.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? It sucks because I’m dependent on coffee for both energy and my daily BMs. :s
How the heck do I make coffee taste good again?
[Other] Anyone else have cheat days just so they can trigger a bowel movement?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4 | CW:124lbs | HW:160lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 03:15:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tif7a/anyone_else_have_cheat_days_just_so_they_can/
---
Forget triggering a whoosh, I prefer a nice, healthy BM 😂 I swear, without these days I'd probably never go and it'd all just be sitting there. So in a way, cheat/binge days are healthy...right?
Seeing your ex with a skinnier girl
/u/ThrowawayTAIU
Created: Fri Nov 2 03:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tie7e/seeing_your_ex_with_a_skinnier_girl/
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I still keep in touch with him because we ended on good terms but ugh we literally just broke up 2 weeks ago and he had the guts to tell me he was already into another girl in his class. When I saw them together I just fell like crying, she's beautiful and she must have a bmi of like 15. Now I feel like he never really found me attractive. This has been the biggest trigger for me and I just want to starve myself until I'm much thinner than her
[Discussion] Okay so I'm either crazy or a genius...
/u/BroItsJesus
Created: Fri Nov 2 02:52:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tib1j/okay_so_im_either_crazy_or_a_genius/
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So, we all know cold water is negative calories, right? Your body uses energy to warm the water.
Soooooooo, by that logic, my diet soft drinks are even lower calorie than they say on the nutrition information...
That is okay with me
the onion is supposed to be a satirical newspaper but it sure is getting a lil too real 😩😩
/u/altoristics [5’3 | cw 104.8 | (new) bmi 19.08 | gw 90 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 02:51:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tiaww/the_onion_is_supposed_to_be_a_satirical_newspaper/
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https://i.redd.it/1hv7yalrsvv11.jpg
"But You're Proportional"
/u/Work_In_Regress [5'6"| Don't ask don't tell | GW: 120| UGW: 110 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 02:24:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ti6ii/but_youre_proportional/
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Alright, where to start ladies and gents...buckle up because I have some major salt to throw around this post.
I saw my good friend for the first time in over a month. We met for coffee and tea. She is tiny - weight-wise and in general. She's 5'0" at most and 85lbs and it makes me want to kill myself. She's actually trying to gain weight at the moment. I'll just call her Kaylee.
Kaylee is a good friend, but says some really hurtful shit sometimes without realizing it. When I told her I was going to start dieting, she told me it would make me fat and bet me 20$ I wouldn't lose any weight by the end of the year. Thanks for your support...
...In general, Kaylee always discourages my weight loss and I have no idea why. When I complain about being overweight (which I actually am at least like 5lbs overweight) she says stuff like "yeah but you're proportional and you'll lose that if you get thin." This stings even more because I am absolutely not proportional. This isn't even my dysmorphia talking - so many people around me note the fact that nearly all my weight goes into my stomach and chest and how bizarrely tiny my legs are in comparison.
I overheard Kaylee saying similar shit once to another friend of hers who is even bigger than I am and...ehem...doesn't have a nice body at all. Very very chunky, actually. She was also discouraging her from attempting to lose weight. I don't get it!
Kaylee starts doing this shit AGAIN over coffee, noting that I have lost some weight from last time I saw her. She talks about how I look better bigger anyway (NO ONE ASKED YOU). Right after she starts talking about how nice HER body is getting. I know she doesn't mean to make me feel bad but holy shit does it rub me the wrong way.
On the bright side, I'm using it as motivation. It sounds terrible, but it's like a competition in my head now, of who can make the most progress in their body goals and look the best. I just needed to get this rant out because it's been irking me all damn week. I can't wait to act really smug about my weight loss in front of her, because she obviously cares about it for no damn reason...
...christ on a cracker, I am so petty it hurts
new low
/u/altoristics [5’3 | cw 104.8 | (new) bmi 19.08 | gw 90 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 2 01:48:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ti0my/new_low/
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being jealous of the thighs of the 6 y/o I babysit. yIKes.
Family always have to make comments
/u/lil_coconut
Created: Fri Nov 2 01:38:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thyv2/family_always_have_to_make_comments/
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My sister was doing the dishes and said said how much did you eat today all these dishes are yours, I had a binge day so a lot of dishes there. I didn’t say anything and went to my room. I heard my dad ask where I went to my sister and she made some sarcastic laugh saying I’m in my room saying I’m a drama queen or something along those lines. She knows I had anorexia last year why would she say that
[Rant/Rave] Shorter than I thought :|
/u/wristsPlz
Created: Fri Nov 2 01:22:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thw79/shorter_than_i_thought/
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I just measured and I'm 5'10", not the 5'11" I thought before. Now old me would have been thrilled that I'm shorter. But new me just saw my BMI go up because of it. Wanting to cry because I lost a kilogram and that puts it right back to where I already thought I was.
But hey I guess at least I can lose more weight and use "I'm not skinny, I'm a healthy BMI" for longer now. So hey, not all bad :)
I told my Professor
/u/skinnybitchembodied
Created: Fri Nov 2 00:44:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thpfp/i_told_my_professor/
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I have bullimia and I haven't told anyone until today.
My professor asked me why I've been missing so much class and I broke. In my drunken state I emailed him and immediately regretted it until his reply. He told me he understood and that he will help me and that he will try to get me to take the rest of the semester off for medical leave and I haven't stopped crying since. I can't believe someone actually cares enough for me that they would want to help. He said his daughter suffered from anorexia and he gave me her email and I dont know how to express my happiness that he cares. I haven't told my family or my boyfriend, and don't know if I will, but I'm so happy to know I have someone willing to help, and so relieved someone knows, and though I'm scared, I think I'm ready for help.
[Rant/Rave] A good old fashioned hate myself binge.
/u/unforgettable_potato
Created: Fri Nov 2 00:07:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thiz2/a_good_old_fashioned_hate_myself_binge/
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Sorry. Long stupid boring rant, but I just need to yell into the void... Trigger warning. I just ate a massive amount of food and now I hate myself. Also bad language ahead. Talk of high body weight too.
Jeffree Star, my freaking idol for most of my adult life said it best. "if I can't be beautiful. I'd rather just die."
I am 32 years old and I weigh 200 pounds. I have been obsessed over my weight, duwtingand my appearance since 7th fucking grade and I am exhausted with it my heightest weight has been 250, my lowest? Fuck me if I know. Not low enough that's for sure.
I have been desperate to break 200 pounds for the month of October. I usually eat 1,000 cal a day (I know. I am a fucking fake.), try hit 10k steps and do some basic bodyweight excersies 3-4 times a week. I do okay at 1k cal intake. Sometimes I go lower, without even trying. But that's usually when my aniexty is high...
...but I am also one of those fatasses that sit in parking lots, sobbing in their car stuffing pastries in their face because depression, or self loathing or just the empty God damn void that is my fucking lack of a soul... So you get it. Cycles of modest restrictions and then fucking binging like a real ass fucker.
I have been frustrated. I wanted to crack 200. I wanted to see 199.9 so bad just so I can say "I am under 200 pounds". I haven't been under 200 pounds since high school.... But the scale has been slowly climbing up and up on me. Not drastically. But noticeable. I have felt bloated too. So I have been eating a ton of cabbage daily and trying to drink more water.... And I finally pooped today. A good healthy poop. I felt 5 pounds lighter! I was so excited to go home and weigh myself...
... But no.... Porky had to ruin it all. I was pretty fucking hungry when I got home. I started prepping my dinner (basic bitch baked chicken breast.) and decided to eat a crossiant I bought from whole foods earlier today.
First of all. Buying that crossiant was mistake number 1. Crossiants are a known binge food for me. But my stupid monkey brain says "oh, you will control yourself this time!" no bitch no. You haven't controlled yourself yet. What makes you think that you can now? See. I can eat healthy and usually not binge when I have no junk food/convience food/east to eat food....
So I am squeezing Lemons while munching on the crossiant. Fuck it was good. Buttery, flaky, soft, pillowy. I ate a second without thinking about it. At this point my brain said "today is ruined, eat a third..." I had my chicken in the oven and munched the third.
THEN. for some stupid reason, I decided to go look at fetish models that have bodies that I could only achieve through plastic surgery and that I will never have. Genetics is fucking unfair. How can she be so thin yet so voluptuous. Fuck me. I am triggered. I am triggered to the fucking moon and I want to die l
You know sounds good. Let's get naked. Weigh myself (201) and fucking measure my disgusting naked flesh to truly see what a malformed freak I am. Then compare myself to beautiful, sculpted and curvaceous women 10 years younger than me. Oh boy. We're having a breakdown now. Because I am 32 years old. I am single and every ounce of my self worth is tied up in how "conventionally attractive" I am. I am too old for this shit. Christ.
So the bad decision train keeps rolling and you know what? LET'S EAT MORE. two dark chocolate pb cups and a bag of pea crisps. While still looking at model pictures. Fuck. There are always going to be women hotter and younger than me. I can't compete. Men don't walk around around saying "boy, I wish I knew a woman with a dry sarcastic sense of humor and a pleasant personality." Nooooo. They all talk about how hot a woman is... And if they do say they want a geeky girl, or funny girl or a kind girl. They are all fucking lying because the first caveat is that they're hot. Ugh....
And why do I care so much about the male gaze?!?!? Fuck me. I am a shitty feminist. So now I hate myself more.
Hey. My chicken is done. Let's eat that sitting on the floor and salting it with my own tears, that sounds fun.
... Ugh. I am tired. I want off this merry go round of "healthy eating", binging and self loathing. I feel so stupid. Because my brain keeps saying "this time will be different". It never is. The cycle keeps repeating. I hate it. I hate food. I hate myself. Why do I care so much about my weight. Why is it that I can give other people love, support and advice and I freaking self-flagulate myself.
Tl;dr: oink oink oink.
[Rant/Rave] got called tiny today
/u/icdcofe
Created: Fri Nov 2 00:04:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thids/got_called_tiny_today/
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"you're tiny"
i thought id feel good but i just feel inherently inlovable as usual and if anything, even more massive.
[Discussion] Science of restoring menstruation?
/u/theleftoveryou [5'5'' | 15.8 | 🍑 | recovering???]
Created: Fri Nov 2 00:02:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thhzi/science_of_restoring_menstruation/
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As far as I understand it, the usual approach to treating AN is to restore the patient's weight to at least BMI 18.5 (or sometimes a higher minimum depending on the clinician's preference) and wait for menstruation to return if the patient is female and amenorrhea has occurred. I'm wondering if anyone knows of any research on whether it's possible to restore menstruation at lower than BMI 18.5, how long this process takes, and what type of diet/rate of weight gain/supplementation/exercise program/etc during recovery is optimal for achieving this. Or if anyone has personal experiences of getting over amenorrhea below 18.5, that would be welcome too.
[Discussion] Whats are some of weirdest food rules you ever set for yourself?
/u/rikococoriko
Created: Thu Nov 1 23:54:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thgey/whats_are_some_of_weirdest_food_rules_you_ever/
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Few years ago I invented what I called the “Orange Diet” which basically consisted of me only consuming water, baby carrots, Metamucil (to keep things moving), DayQuil (to keep me energized), and orange Pedialyte, 1-2 days a week.
I’m wondering who else has made/makes very specific rules as it relates to food or food stuff.
P.S. I DO NOT RECOMMEND: I felt dizzy, lethargic, generally awful while doing it, and I’m sure all that acetaminophen is gonna haunt me in the future. This was something i did bc I found the level of control and specificity comforting while my mind/life were in total chaos and spiraling but I’ve since found better ways of coping.
[Other] Anti Binge!
/u/cattivity
Created: Thu Nov 1 23:27:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9thbgb/anti_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/fo54t3mfsuv11.jpg
[Discussion] 🍁☁️ what are your november goals? ☁️ 🍁
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | relapse rabbit | gw 97 | 23f]
Created: Thu Nov 1 23:19:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9th9si/what_are_your_november_goals/
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mine are
* stay between 300-800calories/day (and not eating after 9pm)
* keep working out 3x/week!!
* size 0 pants consistently (i wear a 0-2 w different brands but i just want all 0s to fit lmao)
* lose 8-10 pounds
what abt you lovely folks?
[Help] Why do I not feel hungry?
/u/cattivity
Created: Thu Nov 1 22:59:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9th5qz/why_do_i_not_feel_hungry/
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It's the weirdest thing. I'm restricting to 600 cals after days of binges. I don't feel hungry at all. It's a good thing but it freaks me out a bit. Is it because I binged the previous days?
[Discussion] DAE get super bloated and lose their thigh gap?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 22:59:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9th5qq/dae_get_super_bloated_and_lose_their_thigh_gap/
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I have a visible thigh gap, but I’ve noticed that if I’m bloated, it’s the first thing to go. Wondering if this in my head/just me or if it’s something that happens to other people as well.
[Rant/Rave] Two of my best friends left me this summer
/u/fccg12
Created: Thu Nov 1 22:46:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9th2u4/two_of_my_best_friends_left_me_this_summer/
---
This is just a rant.
I relapsed. Hard. I’ve lost 50lbs since summer started.
It’s not their fault, it’s mine. Part of me didn’t want them to come back into my life because I just wanted to get sicker. But man it hurts they didn’t even try. One of my closest friends stopped talking to me without any explanation. I’ve tried so hard to talk to her and she won’t talk to me. My boyfriend left. I was already 30lbs down and too numb from restricting to care at the time. I hate not being good enough for anyone ever.
Part of me wonders if they’d be sad to see what I look like now, if they’d even care. They probably wouldn’t.
Everything sucks right now. Everything.
[Help] Stomach burning/acid reflux?
/u/absolutenobodyy
Created: Thu Nov 1 22:36:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9th0pc/stomach_burningacid_reflux/
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Anyone else have to deal with stomach pains that feel like heartburn or acid reflux? I feel it constantly when I restrict, especially if I drink energy drinks, pop, or coffee, and the food I do eat is usually healthy/low-cal/non-acidic. It's not incapacitating or anything; it just makes me nauseous when I work out and uncomfortable when I don't eat for an extended period. Any tips to combat this?
[Rant/Rave] DAE get arguably just as much pleasure just looking at food as you would eating it
/u/thyme1999
Created: Thu Nov 1 22:18:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgwih/dae_get_arguably_just_as_much_pleasure_just/
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DUDE, I get excited just thinking about it- I’ve been low restricting I watch those buzzfeed tasty videos ALL DAMN DAY. And tastemade, the Japanese dessert videos, Ana recovery “extreme hunger what I eat in a day” videos, and obviously mukbangs/food challenges.
It’s so satisfying, so beautiful, makes me salivate but not crave the food bc I’m like “okay, you eat it and then what? Feel bad? Feel sick? Why not just watch MILLIONS of calories be handcrafted and feel just as satisfied?” It’s like ART.
and it’s honestly kind of fear inducing and keeps me in check to eat healthy- I see all the butter and sugar and oil and I’m like “wow, if I ate that without thinking. I’d be consuming THAT!!! Bleh!!!” Seeing all the parts of the food before they’re mixed and made makes me realize how nasty the food actually is.
Alright I just got really excited. I feel like plankton in spongebob when he eats his digital food. Gonna go stalk Ana recovery accounts now purely to sit in awe at the beautiful food presentation and feel proud of strangers while I chew on ice :-)
I swear ...
/u/Cashmeresweateryay [37F | 5'9" | 155 | 22.9 (gross) | HW: 170 | LW: 130 | GW: 120]
Created: Thu Nov 1 22:09:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgukl/i_swear/
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I can go WEEKS of being healthy and all I feel is how tight my jeans are, where my bra strap bites into my skin ...
Then I go on a fast for, like, TWO DAYS, and all of that goes away. I feel sooooooo much better.
That’s water weight right?
Anyone else just trying not to become their parents?
/u/darktriadthrowaway
Created: Thu Nov 1 22:06:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgtrk/anyone_else_just_trying_not_to_become_their/
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I'm super bummed and upset and just wanna talk to someone. I was doing so well curbing my sugar addiction and restricting and then today everyone brought in candy and I ate so much of it then came home and ate half a pizza for dinner. I feel so bloated and gross and things just got worse from there.
My mom told me to call her. She went to the doctor for some tests and found out that she has non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. She spent the whole time saying that it's from being short waisted and talking her insulin in her stomach but that's such bullshit. She literally told me like two weeks ago that her bmi is obese now!
But here's why I'm such a shitty person. She said the doctors want to see if she can get weight loss surgery to help with this (but not because she's obese, of course!). I'm so jealous. I know that I'm going to feel like such shit if she gets the surgery and has a skinny comeback while eating philly cheesesteaks and fried chicken every week while I'm stuck at 125 forever because of binge and restriction cycles.
My mom never had a healthy relationship with food. She used to make herself throw up whenever she ate too much but then she had her uvula and tonsils removed and ballooned up. My dad wasn't a good role model either. I guess we're more similar in that he would binge massive meals then restrict to a liquid diet but he literally weighs 300 lbs now and gets short of breath walking one block. Both of my parents are obese and it's making them really sick but they're each in total denial about it.
Is this my future? Right now I know that I need to lose weight. I wanna get to 110, maybe a little more or less. I already have type 2 diabetes even though I was never even overweight and I'm so afraid that I'm going to end up with all of the problems that my parents have if I don't get as thin as I can.
[Discussion] I’m stuck
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:52:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgq9j/im_stuck/
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I’m caught in between wanting to recover and just diving in full force...I’ve had issues for over seven years now, but I love my work more than anything, and if I couldn’t do that because of treatment/an ED, I would never forgive myself.
I see a therapist twice a week, get my work done, have a social life, but I’m so tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a body that doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. I don’t know what to do, but I can’t keep just going back and forth on this, it’s too miserable.
[Discussion] DAE think their ed started from going on those 2006esque pro ana butterfly websites?
/u/eighttorches
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgq93/dae_think_their_ed_started_from_going_on_those/
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I was already depressed when i was 11 but i started dieting then after that influence maybe? I dont know, its been like 6 years and i just wish i wasnt so stupid.
[Goal] I really want to be 10 pounds down a month from today
/u/Moose--And--Squirrel
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:44:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgogu/i_really_want_to_be_10_pounds_down_a_month_from/
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October was horrible for me, and even today wasn't good (Thursday is my worst day of the week) but! I'm going to change that. Starting today I'm going hardcore. I've been planning this trip to NYC for weeks now and I'm going to go in December. I've always wanted to go and I'm so excited. I want to be my lowest weight when I'm there.
I'm not sure if I can do it but I'm going to do everything to try to lose it.
I just want to have my goal written down somewhere so I'm posting it here, I hope that's alright lol. Love you guys.
I NEED to be skinny again
/u/CoconutTime [5'4 | 128lbs | 22 | binger | f]
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:40:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgnlo/i_need_to_be_skinny_again/
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Guys I’ve had a really great past 10 months or so where I haven’t cared about food or my weight. I’ve been very whatever with what I eat.
I backpacked South America for 6 months and I stopped being a vegetarian and just had so much fun eating new food and drinking a lot with new friends. And since I’ve come home I’ve continued to be free and just eat whatever looks good to me.
But now I’m looking in the mirror like how did I become an ogre. I’m 137 right now which isn’t HORRIBLE, but the weights in my face and my upper arms and thighs are fucking massive and I hold my weight very bad. I need to be at least 120 before I look cute again. Welp guess I’m gonna starve all of November :)))))
Wish me luck!!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] “Sorry you can’t donate today”
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:39:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgn8t/sorry_you_cant_donate_today/
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I’m o-, I donate blood every 3 months that I’m able to. Now the last time the blood drive came to my school, I was anemic and unable to donate. My heart hurt but I was determined to eat right (well, for a week before this donation) and to get this blood out!! I’ve been harassed by emails begging for me to donate. But after the finger prick and questionarre, I was sat down while the doctor called their headquarters. I was a special case. I was 20 pounds lighter than what they had in their system. Their flow charts said I wasn’t able to donate. 10+ more pounds added to the weight I lied about and I could have donated. One small fucking number but this stupid disorder has taken the one thing that I could feel good about doing away from me. I just want to help people. A close friend just died in a fucking car crash and I just. Want. To. Help. But I can’t. Because of 10 pounds.
Fuck this disorder.
I was so close to going to the counselors office and just crying, to break my vow of ED silence and just get the help that I know I need. But you know what’s fucked up? I still want to lose 16 more pounds.
Fuck this disorder.
How bad would it be to fast for twenty days
/u/wexywoorabbit
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:24:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgjp9/how_bad_would_it_be_to_fast_for_twenty_days/
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I’m a 17 year old girl and apparently this would bring me to my goal weight. I know i won’t be able to but hypothetically how damaging would this be?
How can I become Anorexic?
/u/aliswho
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:17:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tghwk/how_can_i_become_anorexic/
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Hey guys, I'm sorry if this comes off as offensive but I've always wanted to become super skinny. I'm currently 5'9" and 113lbs so I'm a bit chubby already, I want to make it down to 100lbs or less. Can someone please PM me and help me starve or something else? Thanks! (Don't get offended, before you lose it on me just calm down)
Do you gain weight if you go from eating 650 calories to 1600 calories?
/u/kirstentheworsten
Created: Thu Nov 1 21:10:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgg57/do_you_gain_weight_if_you_go_from_eating_650/
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Ok so last week I only was allowing myself 650 calories or less and then I started to worry about losing my muscle so I gave myself up-to 900 calories a day. But since I’ve increased it, it’s been harder to suppress my appetite when food is offered in front of me so I just had 2 days where I ate over my limit 1200-1600 calories. Which then lead me to purge both days. Now I’m stressed and worried are those days going to make me gain fat? Is that how it works, I always hear that if you limit your calories very low and then eat normal amounts your body instantly stores fat cause your metabolism is slowed.
[Other] Thank you A
/u/its_never_ogre_ [5’2 | CW:118 | GW: 105| F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 20:56:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tgcih/thank_you_a/
---
To my best friend A, who doesn’t know my account nor lurks here,
Thank you, I know that you don’t completely understand what I’ve been going through, but you knew it wasn’t going so well for me. You encouraged me to be happy and to not worry about my size. You distracted me from counting calories, and fasting by eating with me and reassuring that it’s okay to take a bite. You gave me a different perspective to the future, and although I constantly have the urge to restrict again and again, you somehow manage to calm me and forget about it without trying. Although I still continue to struggle with my image and my dissatisfaction, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.
Thank you A :)
[Help] Best foreign cuisine?
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Thu Nov 1 20:36:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tg75b/best_foreign_cuisine/
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I'm going out to eat shortly and I'm to decide where. Now I'm wondering which foreign cuisine would actually be best in terms of calories?
Could you guys suggest some things?
I've found out there's an Indian restaurant near me that serves a lot of vegan and gluten free meals. I've looked at their menu and among others they serve a main course that's just spicy vegetables. Any idea how much oil or coconut milk such meals are cooked in?
Obviously I'll be fasting the entire rest of the day.
Ana/Mia/ED Discord Server -- Meet, Support, and Share Progress with others with EDs
/u/rabidhunger
Created: Thu Nov 1 20:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tg6si/anamiaed_discord_server_meet_support_and_share/
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https://discord.gg/DRURg6B
[Help] Body dismorphia
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Thu Nov 1 20:18:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tg27i/body_dismorphia/
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So... I've been going to the gym and binging on like 2000 calories everyday. I've gained a kilo (2.2 pounds). And it's been... weird.
I gained a kilo but I'm starting to see a thigh gap. I feel abs underneath my fat and loose skin. I have accidentally checked myself out without noticing (I don't recognize my reflection on windows sometimes). Everyone compliments me. And yet I feel like shit because I gained and suddenly I look like when I was 65 kg again...
Idk. It's weird. 26-inch waist, thigh gap, small boobs, thick thighs... this is all I wanted. I know I have it. But I can't see it. I hate body dysmorphia. Will I ever see my body correctly? Does anyone know of treatment for this? I feel like dying bc I'll never see myself correctly. I want this to stop. Help me, please...
[Rant/Rave] Stupid fucking cookies
/u/gotoyawning
Created: Thu Nov 1 20:03:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfy8v/stupid_fucking_cookies/
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I bought a pack 6 cookies chew and spit today. Half way through the second cookie i realised they were too soft to c/s without accidentally eating half of them so I decided to just eat them and then purge them
but because theyre soft they clump together and i couldnt get them up then i choked on the first bit that came up and then absolutely nothing came up after that. im such a fat failure and under my eyes are all completely covered in red dots and my gums are aching. whats wrong with me
[Rant/Rave] Beginning a 7 day juice fast and getting this shit done
/u/ImmediateAlien [5'3 | 104.7 lbs | GW 99 lbs | BMI: 19 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:55:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfvt3/beginning_a_7_day_juice_fast_and_getting_this/
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Posting mainly for accountability.
I’m done with binging for good. I can’t keep gaining and losing the same 3 kg all the time. This will be like a reset. November will be the month I reach my GW _and_ I’ll maintain it. I’ve been water fasting for last 21 hours and I’ll make it to 30 if I go to sleep soon. I’m all set to wake up early, go get my veggies and fruits for the fast and starting right away. I’m so excited (actually hypomanic atm) so if anyone wants to join me it’d be awesome! I’ll be documenting everything and posting updates (tomorrow will be my first weight in in a while). Wish me luck!
[Rant/Rave] AAAAAAAAA
/u/pmmeured
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:39:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfrbw/aaaaaaaaa/
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I am currently binging because this week has been so bad, and to top it off, I’m not allowed to pick up a package that I’ve been saving for for YEARS
BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I LIVE ON MY OWN, LITERALLY AM A LEGAL ADULT, PAY FOR MY OWN GROCERIES AND ALL
UPS WON’T LET ME PICK IT UP
BECAUSE IM NOT 21
[Goal] I made it to onederland
/u/kimberlyjackson98 [5'4 | CW 206.4 lbs | HW 233.9 | 36.12 | GW 195 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:33:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfpka/i_made_it_to_onederland/
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Hooray! In my mess of a personal life and the shit parade I’ve unleashed into my relationship as well as the new bipolar 2 diagnosis and first day having taken lithium I am despite all of my trouble self accepting myself and battling personality issues out of the 200lb club and officially 199.4 lbs. I haven’t weighed this much since my sophomore year in high school. I remember looking back at photos of then thinking how great I looked and not as fat as I thought, and here I am literally that same weight. I’m only encouraged to keep staying dedicated from here on out. I’ve been bingeing a lot at around 1300cals but even then the scale continues to drop. Stay dedicated y’all it’s possible to meet gw! I’m a fatty but at least I’m working on bettering myself and my mental health. It’s more than what I ever could have imagined for myself. This eating disorder is all I got going on in my life that I am in control of, and to be rewarded by that scale and self determination is a high like never before. I’m totally gonna make goal weight in 6 months at my birthday. If I get to 180-175 I won’t complain. My projected weight loss at my intake says I make goal by February, but I wanna enjoy myself a little this holiday season...
✨IM -35LBS DOWN FROM MY HIGHEST WEIGHT ✨
Tl;dr I made it into onederland despite my recent intrapersonal struggles regarding my bipolar 2 diagnoses and shitting all over my relationship.
Birth control for someone with undetectable sex hormones lol
/u/Firebug__ [168cm | 46kg | 16.3 | 18F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:32:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfpba/birth_control_for_someone_with_undetectable_sex/
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I lost my period start of 2013 at ~50kg,12 years old, regained it for at couple months at ~52-58kg then lost it again mid 2014, I was 13.
I’m now 18 and haven’t had a period since, haven’t even been on birth control either. If I get a blood test my E2 is undetectable.
I’m considering starting on BC because I wonder if it will make me feel more normal? Like I guess *this is* my normal, but I feel like having the hormones I was meant to have might improve my mood, libido, breast size, skin etc etc... even one of these would be amazing. But obviously you hear a lot about the side effects and making all of the above worse...
Just wondering what others experiences where like if you lost your period but went on BC anyway, was is good/bad? What BC did/do you use?
ramen estimation help??
/u/peachypeachy9 [5'6.75" | CW 129lb | GW 115lb? | F18]
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:32:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfp9v/ramen_estimation_help/
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okay so the school brand (tm) ramen here is 460cal but i feel like its undershooting by a ton. it was chicken ramen with shiitake mushrooms, scallions, some hot sauce (?) and ginger.
for contrast, they had a pork ramen that was like 1100cal.
do you think its possible for a bowl of ramen like that to be ~500cal or did i eat way more than i thought i did??
When I get to (weight) I'm gonna...
/u/prettypuzzlepieces [5'4" | 159 | 27.3 BMI | -49 lbs (-50 so close yo🎈) | old lady]
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfosx/when_i_get_to_weight_im_gonna/
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I think most ewveryone has thoughts about the things they'd do if they were a certain weight, eating disorder or not. But I've found my ED makes some kinda unique ones pop into my head...
Like when I get to a "healthy" BMI i'm gonna knock this shit off and lose weight slower. I'm just crash dieting, I'm not actually having a serious relapse of a long term mental illness! (Hah)
Another big one is, i'm gonna get botox and fillers when I hit my GW. Right now I don't deserve to get them cause i'm fat and ugly anyway, but once i'm skinny, THEN i can try to be pretty. Not before.
So lay em on me. What are you gonna do when you get down to that magical weight your brain is fixated on?
[Rant/Rave] this girl just commented on my ig post "ugly ass hoe" and my ED brain has never been more triggered
/u/tired_platypus
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:23:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfmxq/this_girl_just_commented_on_my_ig_post_ugly_ass/
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so this girl and i have had "drama" or whatever for a while but after i read this comment i literaly cried for 2 hours i dont even know why, i'm not usually this dramatic, and what sucks is that i was so freaking happy all week bc i just hit the teens (119 lbs) and now its like it doesnt even matter so im just starving myself now
[Help] What do you guys do when you’re going to a restaurant that doesn’t have calories listed
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:23:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfmqj/what_do_you_guys_do_when_youre_going_to_a/
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So my friends wanna go to an Indian restaurant Saturday. I’m between vegetable samosa, white rice, chicken samosas, and naan bread. I’ve looked up the calories and it ranges from 50-220 so I’m scared. Idk how to get through this.
What are the safest foods & the most dangerous foods for you?
/u/kat-official [5'5" | cw 104 | -107.5 | 🍑kat]
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:19:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfll3/what_are_the_safest_foods_the_most_dangerous/
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I can eat ramen and bagels, or those michealina's lasagna alfredo with broccoli and cheese microwavable things, a burrito, or jalapeno hot cheetos and i (99% of the time) won't feel guilty for or binge from eating those.
I can't eat cheesecake or most breakfast foods or else i'll feel guilty, even though i love them. I will inevitably binge on chicken nuggets and jalapeno poppers when given access.
i'm looking for more safe foods, because my boyfriend is worried about my macros and stuff (he knows i'm disordered, but he's worried about my macros lol). my life has been really kinda shit and stressful lately, so i've been eating little other than my safe foods, but today i got some news that things will be better pretty soon so idk.
Shopping list?
/u/grace_ed
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfk3e/shopping_list/
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I have a hard time staying under budget buying safe foods? Any recommendations? What are your lists?
[Help] Help — Keep me from picking up purging
/u/bluediner
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:13:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfjy4/help_keep_me_from_picking_up_purging/
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Hey everyone. I’ve been hanging around this sub for a while, but this is my first post.
I need some help. Tonight, I purged what I would consider “successfully” for the first time. It was a terrible and gross process, and now I’m just exhausted.
Please, please help me with any advice you have for never doing this again. I know the idea of a “cheat” to the system (purging after a binge) is an alluring idea, and I need something to sway me from ever doing this again.
I’m already underweight. I already restrict 95% of the time. I don’t need this, too. Literally anything you think that will help, but especially advice from people who no longer purge or managed to avoid it, even after doing it “lightly.”
Thanks so much, you’re all wonderful.
[Discussion] How do y’all live this lifestyle with significant others?
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:118 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfjd3/how_do_yall_live_this_lifestyle_with_significant/
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I’ll throw up lunch every day and avoid dinner but my boyfriend loves eating dinner with me and he’s with me all evening until bed (we only have one bathroom IN our room) so I can’t purge dinner :(
How do you all handle this with significant others? Do they worry? Have you told them? What are loopholes to avoid dinner every night even though I’m dizzy, exhausted, and tired by 3pm??
[Rant/Rave] It’s been a rough day...
/u/angeryveg
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfjcl/its_been_a_rough_day/
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And I can’t decide if I should binge on pizza or starve myself to make myself feel worse lmao
[Discussion] supplements
/u/problemproblem420
Created: Thu Nov 1 19:02:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfgu0/supplements/
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do they work for you? what do you take? what do you swear by?
​
i take 200 mg potassium, 6,000 mg collagen, 60 mg vit c, 10 mg biotin, 500 mg magnesium everyday
considering upping my vitamin c and my biotin and incorporating other stuff, how about yall?
[Rant/Rave] forced to wear a swimsuit
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 20 | f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🌱🐻]
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tffm6/forced_to_wear_a_swimsuit/
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my job is forcing me to go swimming every friday and there is literally no way i can get out of it, yiiiiiiikes. and to make things worse, the pool won’t even allow like wetsuit leggings or shorts or whatever... it has to be a proper swimsuit 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 fuck me up
[Other] i’m so tired of living this way
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:55:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tff1y/im_so_tired_of_living_this_way/
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i’m currently sitting on a couch in the basement of my campus library nursing a vending machine propel. my face feels swollen, my head is pounding, i can’t stop shaking. this is my second B/P session of the day but i couldn’t get all that much up but kept trying and trying until i nearly fainted from the pressure because i can’t stand knowing that i have so many calories inside my body. everything hurts. i dread waking up in the morning because i really hate being alive. i want to be better but i still want to be extremely thin and i know i’ll never be able to have both, so this is what i’m choosing. this is rock fucking bottom for me and i’m so ready to just give up on life and end it already. my life is a living hell. from an AN B/P person- if you’re one of those people who wishes they could purge, please don’t ever start. i’m in so much pain physically and emotionally, i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. it’s a fucking nightmare.
[Help] Diet pills?
/u/bblue123
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:55:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfeya/diet_pills/
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Any suggestions on what kind to get? What do they actually do for you?
[Help] Pregabalin (Lyrica) and weight gain?
/u/Such_fruits_as_these [5'3 | 104 (lbs)| 19.12 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfe4h/pregabalin_lyrica_and_weight_gain/
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I've been prescribed pregabalin for anxiety, but on doing some reading online it seems like everyone who uses it gain a substantial amount of weight.
One person said they gained 100 pounds in a year which I absolutely cannot do, gaining 10 pounds is honestly unthinkable to me like I would be suicidal
Has anyone tried it? I had to fight to hard to get a prescription that wasn't an SSRI so I don't think I can go back and demand something else because I'm scared of some weight gain.
I'm flipping out rn
[Discussion] Do not take laxatives if you think you’re going to go jogging !!!
/u/wastedspacecat
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:44:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tfbrd/do_not_take_laxatives_if_you_think_youre_going_to/
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Oh my god guys tmi but I had to stop at a gas station mid run because I took laxatives earlier during the day and I thought I was done 😵😑💀 So embarrassing !
[Discussion] Ed culture is taking a Xanax before going to see your therapist. How ironic
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | SW:120 CW: 105.9 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:35:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tf9hm/ed_culture_is_taking_a_xanax_before_going_to_see/
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Fuuuuuck I hate it so much. I know I’m a little bitch but the way she talks just makes me so uncomfortable. Interrupting everything I say because “the anorexia is trying to deflect”
He telling my mom while I’m sitting right there that she has to do everything in her power to feed me as many calories as possible.
“Feed your starving child” all this bullshit
Fuck I barely got to say 2 sentences. I just wanted to cry about my public humiliation from yesterday from having 200 ass shits yelling booooooooooo
In my face.
I love it when I need therapy to cope with my therapy
Are there any over-exercisers on here?
/u/pinkribbon007
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:30:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tf7wt/are_there_any_overexercisers_on_here/
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I always see content surround purging and what not, I'm just curious to see if there's many others on here that are similar to me and just restrict heavily and run like a madman, around 40km worth of running a week, and that's not including the 4 other gym workouts I do each week. I just feel like if I don't exercise I'm a blimp
[Help] What do I wear to make me look skinnier?
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Thu Nov 1 18:27:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tf72e/what_do_i_wear_to_make_me_look_skinnier/
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I generally avoid any and all social interaction but I have a party that I really can’t get out of coming up a week from Saturday. Even though I *am* at a lower weight than last time I saw these people, I just don’t feel like it.
What are some flattering styles that fall between casual and “going out” style? Its a party at my good friends house but we’ll probably go out to a bar/club after.
(For reference I’m 23 and 5’11, and unfortunately 165 lbs right now)
I’m trying to look sexy without looking like I’m trying too hard. Which is proving impossible since I’m trying SO HARD.
TL;DR: flattering outfits for tall girl average weight?
Hahaha I just ordered a binge meal and I’m super drunk after a day of heavy ristricting and drinking on an empty stomach I hate myself
/u/frozenmargaritas
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:55:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9texrc/hahaha_i_just_ordered_a_binge_meal_and_im_super/
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Disordered eating is so fun love to absolutely hate everything about myself can’t wait to starve for the next 3 months to make up for one bad night hahaha!
[Rant/Rave] I can't stop bingeing
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:37:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tesdc/i_cant_stop_bingeing/
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This is the first time I've gained weight in a while. I'm up around 3lbs from last week and I was only 5-ish away from my goal :(
I will probably binge tomorrow too. I mean I'm such a weak lazy piece of shit I should stop being optimistic about it
I'll probably binge like this every day til I'm obese again hahahaha
[Help] Chest pain?
/u/dwaiiiii [5'3" | 118 | UGW: 95 | -7lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:35:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tervv/chest_pain/
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Does anyone have strong hunger cues that cause chest pain? My chest has been feeling a sensation where it feels really tight and heavy for a couple of seconds and then goes away and then comes back in five minutes or five hours. It’s been like three days now so I’m wondering if it’s just really strong hunger or if it’s something more serious.
Ditching unnecessary calories
/u/Helpmexoxo
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:28:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tepxb/ditching_unnecessary_calories/
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For the last few days I’ve been eating nothing bu soup which is good since it’s got less calories and it’s filling. Today I hadn’t eaten all day. And when it came time for me to eat I made myself some homemade chicken soup and had it with one cup of cooked rice. My total calories for the day came to 445. After that it got a bit cold so I wanted something warm to drink. I went to the pantry and saw a box of chai tea latte mix. One sachet has 130 calories. If I would have drank that it would have made me feel bad about consuming calories that I don’t need. So instead I made a mug of chamomile and lemongrass tea which not only has no calories but also helps speed up the metabolism. So I feel much better that I chose not drink the chai latte.
Workout apps
/u/pleasedontbelieveher
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:28:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tepqz/workout_apps/
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Do you use workout apps on your phone? What are your favourites?
Some of these workouts also state the amount of calories burned, but would you trust them? I am hesitant to believe those figures, as some of these seem too good to be true.
I like the 7m workout ones (e.g. HIIT Workout, Butt Workout, 7m Workout, 7m Weight Loss), I usually combine a few to change things up!
[Rant/Rave] I want to be admitted, but I probably couldn't afford it.
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:19:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tenct/i_want_to_be_admitted_but_i_probably_couldnt/
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This probably sounds really idiotic, but for ten years My goal has been to be skinny enough, sick enough, to be admitted to a ED unit. That would be... Such goals. To get that confirmation.
...however, I am 30 years old now. And not rich. How the fuck do people afford treatment? Yeah I live in a Nordic country but it's still probably costly AF. Especially if I'd admit myself (IF that's even possible)
Not that I'm ever gonna get that things...
[Help] how to get out of a fluctuation funk?
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw130 (18.5) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:19:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tencn/how_to_get_out_of_a_fluctuation_funk/
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hlp me lol
if i bounce between 128-131 for any longer i’m gonna have a fit
if you’ve gotten out of being stuck around the same weight with only minor bumps in either direction, what was it that got you unstuck?
thanks luvs xx
[Rant/Rave] Halloween is going to temporarily ruin my life wtf
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:19:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tena6/halloween_is_going_to_temporarily_ruin_my_life_wtf/
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OKay so. Halloween binge. We've all done it, most of it probably did it last night. But I fucking fell asleep last night because i was too lazy to get up and purge so now ive eaten two bags of white chocolate twix, a bucket full of starburst and laffy taffys, and two giant fucking kit kats. Lmao time to fast for like a week
[Discussion] DAE feel like they actually ate 1000s of calories after c/s 1000s of calories?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:17:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9temor/dae_feel_like_they_actually_ate_1000s_of_calories/
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I feel so gross but...my stomach is still flat. So idk if I hate myself right because I feel fat, or love myself for “outsmarting” the calories (yes I know I probably ingested some, but definitely not all).
It’s a weird feeling.
[Discussion] Young girls with ED's
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:15:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9telzb/young_girls_with_eds/
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Anyone else here 13? Or around that age? I know I cant be the only one 😣
[Rant/Rave] Forced/reluctant recovery
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 17:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9telae/forcedreluctant_recovery/
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Okay, so I've been posting a lot. This past weekend my mom came to visit and sprung on me that she wants me to go residential.
I'm over 18, so she can't commit me herself (but DAMN if there wasn't a lot of emotional manipulation happening), but she was going to basically make me drop out this semester of college and come live at home 5 hours away and not return to school for spring semester. I'm not skinny enough to go residential; they won't accept me. I've lost about 10 pounds in 3 months which is, like, stupidly slow, and irritating, given that I fast 5 days a week and b/p maintenance on the weekend, along with exercising 1-2 hours a day, 5 days a week. But she went all "if I let you stay here you're gonna die!" Which is false. I use vitamins, and we went to get bloodwork done and according to the dr, I'm normal.
I can't even *express* how invalidating this past week has felt. With water loading and eating probably 2000 cals a day to make my mom happy, I weighed in at 106 pounds and when my mom told the nurse "she has an eating disorder" the nurse all but scoffed. Honestly, a tiny part of me wanted the results to come back and say I was sick, just for my own validation, then I guess I'd just lie to my mom. But they came back perfectly healthy, and I'm not even skinny, but I have to fucking maintain for the rest of the semester, and I can't stand it.
On top of that, my mom basically told me I'm bulimic, and don't have the strength to restrict. I mean, to some extent it's true. I b/p, but my binges usually come in at 1500 calories at the most, so I've always just considered myself ednos.
Anyway, I hate that this is my situation, but I've finally fasted back down to my pre-her-visit-proving-I-can-eat-basically-bingeing weight of 94.5 pounds (I gained 13 pounds while she was here, then dropped 2 right before the dr's. Tf?!), and if I want to go back to school in the spring I have to maintain, or risk having a blow out fight and having her take my phone and car (the only thing my parents still pay for).
I hate this so fucking much because I'm 1 pound away from my 2nd goal weight (93 pounds), I just got promoted at work, I have dance performances to be skinny for, and I just cannot let my mom's skewed view of "normal" do this to me. She thinks I need to be 120 pounds. Fuck that. But if I lose more weight, she'll make me quit my job, drop out, and lose my scholarship and my life and I just can't. I'm weak-willed, so she could probably convince me and take me in a moment of weakness.
I just don't know what to fucking do. She's my mom and I love her, but this just...
Anyway, does anyone have any kind of advice? I'm probably going to stop fasting and TRY to eat maintenance. Literally, my only foods I can eat without purging are bojangles grilled chicken salads with honey dijon dressing or water-stir-fried zucchini with rice and soy sauce. So fuck me, I guess. Sometimes I can eat apples.
I'll up my strength training to 3 times a week on top of my 5 dance classes a week, and given that I barely lose anything even on my current system, I'll probably not lose anything on this new plan, because of how much fucking food she wants me to eat.
I don't know. I hate myself. I hate this. I'm losing my mind.
No eat november ladieZ
/u/liddle_eggroll
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:59:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9teh9c/no_eat_november_ladiez/
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[Discussion] What do you guys do for colds?
/u/fccg12
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:53:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tefmt/what_do_you_guys_do_for_colds/
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I’m getting sick but I don’t want to stop restricting and they last so long when I’m restricting. Cold medicine makes it last even longer. What vitamins etc do you guys take to help move this along??
Anorexia Secrets
/u/CinnaSwurl
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:53:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tefma/anorexia_secrets/
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https://i.redd.it/hko91pj4usv11.jpg
Feel like I failed at my ED
/u/losingmattie
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:48:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tee4k/feel_like_i_failed_at_my_ed/
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So, I applied for the binge eating genetics study, that was posted here a little while ago. I got past the first criteria screening, but then failed the first official questionnaire. And- I don't know why?
Did I select something wrong- a lot of the questions were black and white, but they don't have black and white answers, so I got sort of confused answering. But, probably stupidly enough, despite knowing not being selected just means I didn't fit some narrow criteria, I really feel like I failed. Like I'm not even good enough at being bad about my eating disorder, which has been hanging around since I was 8. I guess I was really hopeful about actually getting to participate, and now I feel like such an idiot, like I'm faking everything.
No one knows about my food issues really, so this is the only place I can post. Been lurking for a while, guess I figured I'd debute by complaining lol. But I really feel like, heart broken over this? Idk.
Whooo irrational emotions!
Is it worth taking vitamins while fasting?
/u/Baby-Baphomet [BMI: 23.1 | GW:20 bmi | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:46:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tedcu/is_it_worth_taking_vitamins_while_fasting/
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Usually I take my vitamin with food because Ive heard it makes you actually absorb more of the stuff in them but I've been fasting and not taking them.
Does anyone know if I'll absorb enough vitamins from it to be worth it even if I take them on an empty stomach?
Ty in advance lol sorry if this question seems dumb 💕
[Help] Go-to Panera dinner??
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:112 | 17.4 |]
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:42:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tecai/goto_panera_dinner/
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HELP
Going to Panera very last minute with my mom who is very suspicious of my eating... I want something between 300-400 calories.
Any ideas??
[Rant/Rave] new month
/u/kahmanee [6’2” | 180 | 23.1 | 80+ lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:32:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9te956/new_month/
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did anyone else ruin their goals yet? i certainly did ;(
lifehack if you'e craving coconut-flavoured items!
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:17:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9te4sz/lifehack_if_youe_craving_coconutflavoured_items/
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So my mom is planning on baking a cake (not for us thankfully) but the recipe requires coconut shreds.
So I'm sure most of y'all know by now that coconut is fairly calorie-dense, (200 calories per 2 TBSP!!!) so naturally, I've been avoiding the stuff, but I have been CRAAAAVING some goddamn coconut.
​
So I had this idea to mix in a shit-ton of unsweetened coconut shreds (I didn't measure but it was like... a LOT. At least 3 TBSP. It was supposed to be the base ingredient so yeah lol) in with cinnamon and some random herbal tea blends that I had lying around the house. Then I added around 2 cups of water, and heated it up to almost boiling, strained away the tea leaves and the shreds as best, added a hint of stevia (though you can use splenda or whatever other sweetener you like), and BAM, you have a really nice tasting coconut-flavoured tea. I'm not sure how many calories it has, but there's *no way* it's anything over 15. Maybe 20 if we're being unnecessarily generous. Most teas are like 0-2 calories but since there was *a lot* of coconut infused in my little tea recipe, there might be more cals.
​
But compared to most coconut-based items that run you at least 100-200 per serving, this is a win, y'all.
Kinda proud rn
/u/fishonthesun
Created: Thu Nov 1 16:00:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdz9w/kinda_proud_rn/
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Cant flair I'm in mobile )-:
But I'm kinda proud of myself. Feeling depressed all day meant that food didnt really have flavor so restricting was easy. Was under 500 cals by dinner and usually I'm at like 1000. So when my sense of taste came back during dinner and I ate a pumpkin cake bar with cream cheese frosting and a brownie with frosting for dessert, I was still under 1000 cals. My cal count is 999, first time I've been under 1000 in over a month. Success
[Goal] I’ve only just realized that to be at my goal weight I’d have to lose more than that because of fluctuations.
/u/Wander3 [Height: 162cm | CW: 37.4 kg]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:55:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdxrw/ive_only_just_realized_that_to_be_at_my_goal/
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I’m having a hard time restricting so this realization is making me want to die :)
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MY MENTALITY WITH FOOD.
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:55:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdxq1/can_someone_please_help_my_mentality_with_food/
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I’m such a greedy person.. I hate sharing my food, I eat in big bites and really fast so I can eat more than everyone else and if I’m at a gathering where there’s a spread of food I take so much. The only time I’m not like this is when I’m by myself.
I lied to get out of class
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:54:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdxje/i_lied_to_get_out_of_class/
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I’m an elementary education major. I take a class that is essentially teaching social studies in grades PK-6. Last week my teacher planned a Halloween party for today. Each table group was assigned to bring food. We got chips, cupcakes, cookies, what have you. Every anorexic’s nightmare.
I knew I probably wouldn’t go home this weekend so I figured I’d have a wee binge (🙄) and just not eat for the rest of the day.
Well today is my mom’s 50th and my dad persuaded me to come home for a surprise party he’s throwing tomorrow so I figured I’d visit my bf for the night and then hide there until it’s time to set up.
So instead out of shame, I lied and told my classmates I was feeling sick and I didn’t want to be around the food and get people sick (somewhat true, Nac just got slapped with a cold front out of nowhere). I then told my bf class was cancelled so I’d be in ATX faster. I figured I’d get a head start on the drive down there.
This is what EDs do. Ugh.
[Goal] I've created a calendar to help me get to my 120lb GW by either 0 cal (pink) or 500 (blue) by the Spring term.
/u/TheSoilOverMyHead
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdxcl/ive_created_a_calendar_to_help_me_get_to_my_120lb/
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https://imgur.com/a/pPspbEm
I will lose 14lbs by christmas
/u/secretweightloss [5’4” M]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:51:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdwlg/i_will_lose_14lbs_by_christmas/
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My parents both have fucked up attitudes about weight and i’m pretty sure my mum lowkey has disordered eating and weighing behaviours (as a kid she would weigh herself in front of us every morning and write her weight on a piece of paper on the wall and talk about how fat she was)
And the only time they ever say well done or that they’re proud of me is when I lose more weight. I told them how i’m under 25 BMI for the first time in years and they were so proud and congratulated me. I’m seeing them in person for the first time in months at xmas and I really want to lose at least another stone before I do. I’d love to get to 126lbs by xmas day but that’s 18lbs away and idk if i can manage that
None of the validation the second time around
/u/lilmdjd [5’3 | CW: 130 | BMI: 23 | LW: 94| - 17| 23F ]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:51:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdwh6/none_of_the_validation_the_second_time_around/
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I guess technically I’m relapsing. I definitely look noticeably smaller, I’ve lost 25 lbs almost (haven’t updated flair). My friends all know I was(am?) in recovery, and they’re usually the type to gas me up on all my selfies or photos. I haven’t gotten ANY compliments and I got so many the first time I was at this weight. Sooooo frustrating 😭
Like, HELLO I need validation!!
[Help] Question about symptoms!
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:50:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdw9w/question_about_symptoms/
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So I haven’t really eaten much in a week and yesterday I ended up eating a burrito because my heart was racing and I felt really shakey and today I haven’t eaten at all and I have a fluttery feeling and an awful headache I have drank tons of water tho! Is this normal how can I get past it! I also ran 6 miles this week 3 miles 2 days the last few days I couldn’t bc of rain!
[Rant/Rave] I'm a piece of shit
/u/jmiles00 [5'2 | 144.8 CW| 26.5 BMI | ftm]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:45:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdusy/im_a_piece_of_shit/
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I spend so much time watching mukbang cringe compilations, videos of amber lynn reid, freaky eaters, my 600 lb life, and shit like that as reverse thinspo. But it just makes me so miserable because even though these people are sometimes double or triple my size and yet a lot of the times they're happier than I am. I can't believe i would rather be thin and miserable than fat and happy. Fml.
people with EDs working in coffee shops/restaurants???? (food mention lol)
/u/2AMChiliSoap [5'3F| 129 | GW:120-122 | 🍑 chilidabrat ]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:45:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tduih/people_with_eds_working_in_coffee/
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Just got a new job recently working in a kinda-local coffee shop. They're respectful of my vegetarianism so a lot of the things they make they don't offer me, but I am now freaking the fuck out because I have worked there for so little time, like astonishingly little, and I have gained 3.5 pounds in a short period of time. I got my 10k steps in because i'm constantly running around doing shit and RARELY sitting, and I intend on keeping this job because it's a living wage and they think I am excellent. But i'm always being offered to try and taste things, and it's freaking me out. I'm never gorging on anything, and it's little bites and things, but clearly its adding up. That and the free lattes every single day that people make me dripping in pumpkin spice and caramel. It's so good, but so bad! Like I want to die!
The worst part is is that there's no calorie counts or anything. The only way I could possibly get calorie counts is by going through the recipe log, logging each individual ingredient and then separating it piece by piece.
Please help me, what do I do? I'm a barista basically. They're so chill and cool and I don't want to be all "I'm on a diet" and give them a reason to want to ice me out. I'm freaking out and I can't just exactly go "Hey, I have an eating disorder, can you not offer me anything because I have almost no self control?"
I did avoid making food for myself today. Yesterday I made the most obnoxious grilled cheese because I wanted to panini press something, but I cannot do this all the time and it's gonna look sus when I don't eat anything at all for lunch.
I just want to cry, this ruined my entire day. I am now back in the 130s despite spending 2 months in there and finally being free in October. I was supposed to enjoy November in the 120s. I was so happy. I was so happy to be free and SO CLOSE to my GW of 122 and now I can't because I don't want to seem like a diety bitch at work even though I am a diety bitch, period.
Does anyone have any advice as to being a working gal with an ED because for real if I balloon up again I'm going to seriously cry but I NEED this job in order to move out and finally have something to finance my academic gap year. In my work uniform I feel so.... not human. I can't go back, I really can't. It will destroy me. I do have self control Im just so blinded by shock and sadness I guess I dont know what to do. I was tempted to write this on the bus omw to work but I deleted it and said "If I gained a lot, then I will write this post." 5 bread crusts with pimento cheese, 1 pumpkin spice black coffee with caramel, and maybe 1/5th of a cookie later I am freaking the fuck out as if I gorged on 2500 calories worth of food (which i have done before and it's nowhere near this, but my ED ridden fucking BRAIN)
im sorry this is a lot I know it is I'm just miserable!
[Discussion] Me being random and My subreddits are all Skinny focused
/u/wastedspacecat
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:39:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdssp/me_being_random_and_my_subreddits_are_all_skinny/
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Just a couple things on my mind . 1) I b/p’ed Halloween candy and cookies this morning because I shouldn’t have eaten it in the first place as I’m a fat fucking worthless piece of shit with no self control . Will be going on a jog when the husband gets home . 2) All of my subreddits are skinny / disordered eating focused vs My husbands subreddits are all mainly naked women /sex/amateur/ porn/sluts/fetishes focused . I’d say our priorities are polar opposite don’t you think? 3) I need to loose 20 pounds this month , anyone want to join me? Seriously .
Sometimes my eating disorder feels like it's just the guilt I feel around eating, and not the eating itself
/u/tornessa [5'2"| 107 | 19.6 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:34:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdr9o/sometimes_my_eating_disorder_feels_like_its_just/
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So I've been in treatment for disordered eating since May. I've always been sort of obsessed with my eating and developed a fear of eating a year and a half ago.
A few years ago, I was like weighing my food and counting calories and cooking constantly and being sugar free and all that, it didn't feel like an eating disorder. It just felt like a lifestyle. But I could see how that could easily look like an eating disorder to someone else.
When I developed a fear of eating, then it really started to feel like an eating disorder. It wasn't so much that I wasn't eating enough or what I was eating, but I've become obsessed with what I'm eating and how I'm eating and the rituals around eating.
It's just sort of been a wake up call to me that it isn't always how you eat but how you think of eating that makes it a disorder. I feel so much more guilty now about eating than I did when I was "dieting." It's been really hard for me to learn that distinction though.
Has anyone else felt this way?
“If I’m not prettier at least I can be skinnier” - anyone else think like this?
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:32:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdqht/if_im_not_prettier_at_least_i_can_be_skinnier/
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Ugh so I THOUGHT I had a thing with this really cute guy BUT I saw him kiss this other girl at school and I want to just not eat forever. This girl is gorgeous; Colombian, blue eyes, dancer. And she’s not fat. She’s a perfectly healthy weight. But like I know that I’ll nevef be able to compete with her facially but mAaYbE if I starve myself even more this guy will like me? lol I’m pathetic
what even is this— I can never decide on dinner
/u/unusualenby [4'11" | 75 lbs| -15 | 16.1 bmi | lv 19| no gender]
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:30:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdq1u/what_even_is_this_i_can_never_decide_on_dinner/
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so i just spent 40 minutes trying to decide on dinner.
post-workout (small workout), wasn’t hungry. had a bar for a snack in the car though. (still wasn’t hungry)
I spent over 30 minutes scrolling through fast food menus and comparing macros (protein mostly). I could have had something from home, but I wasn’t in the mood for that either.
not counting my workout, I had 671 calories left (counting the bar), and yet getting this food from Hardees (6 piece chicken tenders, going to have like 2-4 with broccoli) still feels wrong. ugh.
This is dinner for me about 2-4 times every week, and I have no idea how to get out of this weird rut. I wish there was a list of really safe fast foods..
[Discussion] My Reasons to Not Binge - Feel Free to Add Yours! (:
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdkks/my_reasons_to_not_binge_feel_free_to_add_yours/
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Last month was a complete shitshow for me. I binged many, many times a week. My weight didn't go down at all. This month, I plan on not bingeing. Here are my reasons. Let's all list our reasons to not binge. If you ever feel tempted, just take a look at the reasons. Maybe this will help! (:
My Reasons to Stop Bingeing:
- I immediately feel physically ill after and nauseous the next day
- Clothes won't fit properly
-I personally gain weight in my stomach area, so its immediately noticeable
-Ive already lost 25 lbs, I can lose more easily
-CROP TOPS
- A few moments of food tasting good isn't worth the days of feeling bloated and huge
- I want to look better for the holidays
-I turn 25 next year, I want to reach my goal weight before then
[Rant/Rave] My go-to breakfast is suddenly repulsive to me
/u/HappierHungry
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:03:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdhgw/my_goto_breakfast_is_suddenly_repulsive_to_me/
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I had such a good thing going.
Coconut-flavoured high protein Greek yoghurt with sliced almonds ("roasted" in the microwave); ~200kcals.
It was quick and easy; it was tasty; it was filling and kept me going for hours.
I could have it at home. I could take it to work.
Now the sight of it makes me want to gag. 🤢
RIP brekky 💀
Anyone have any recommendations? 😢 Please and thank you.
[Rant/Rave] I’m a stone (14lbs) lighter than I thought I was?!
/u/nobodyfast
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:01:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdgjr/im_a_stone_14lbs_lighter_than_i_thought_i_was/
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I’ve been restricting super low for ages now and hadn’t seen any change on the scale, was getting really down about it. But went to the doctors this morning and they happened to weigh me and I came in at more than 14lbs lighter than I thought I was? didn’t believe it was true (although obviously the professional medical scales the doctor has are better than my shitty ones) so I went out and bought new expensive accurate scales and lo and behold I am a whole STONE lighter than I thought my fat ass was?!
won’t lie I’m kind of dumb when I weigh myself, I only just found out that you’re supposed to weigh yourself on a hard flat surface (e.g not the bedroom carpet like I was doing oops) so it’s my own stupid fault for not accurately weighing myself in the first place but damn this has really motivated me!
kind of annoying because now I’m not 100% sure my SW was accurate but idec, I’m 14lbs away from my UGW/LW I feel unstoppable!
I JUST BINGED FML
/u/MonotheisticScup
Created: Thu Nov 1 15:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdgh9/i_just_binged_fml/
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FFFFFFFFFUUUUHHHUCKKKKKKKKKK
[Rant/Rave] I’m a stone (14lbs) lighter than I thought I was?!
/u/nobodyfast
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:58:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdfs2/im_a_stone_14lbs_lighter_than_i_thought_i_was/
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I’ve been restricting super low for ages now and hadn’t seen any change on the scale, was getting really down about it. But went to the doctors this morning and they happened to weigh me and I came in at more than 14lbs lighter than I thought I was? didn’t believe it was true (although obviously the professional medical scales the doctor has are better than my shitty ones) so I went out and bought new expensive accurate scales and lo and behold I am a whole STONE lighter than I thought my fat ass was?!
won’t lie I’m kind of dumb when I weigh myself, I only just found out that you’re supposed to weigh yourself on a hard flat surface (e.g not the bedroom carpet like I was doing oops) so it’s my own stupid fault for not accurately weighing myself in the first place but damn this has really motivated me!
kind of annoying because now I’m not 100% sure my SW was accurate but idec, I’m 14lbs away from my UGW/LW I feel unstoppable!
[Other] Intentional fiber binge
/u/PocketsFullOfRockets
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:49:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdcrn/intentional_fiber_binge/
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Just intentionally ate over 2000 calories worth of food that had the most fiber in my house according to nutrition labels. I havent pooped in 1 and a half weeks and i was just so tired and annoyed at this point. hope this triggers the woosh too... (all this because i really don’t want to use laxatives)
[Other] The treasure of the shame closet
/u/empTXistence
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:49:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tdcnq/the_treasure_of_the_shame_closet/
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Ok, so TLDR, I found a bunch of really nice clothes that I stashed away and they all fit so so good 😍
Ok, story time. It's all going to come together at the end.
So when I was much younger, my mother used to lock me in a closet when she didn't want to deal with me, so I got used to being in pretty confined spaces and keeping my most important things tucked deep away.
To add, for a WHILE I was seeing this girl, and when things when bad i basically ceased to function for a good 6 months. I drank so many bottles of vodka alone in the night and stored them in my closet so my sister wouldnt know, and as I got Vetter little by little I kept putting off cleaning her stuff out of the closet or going in there. Closet full of old but fantastic clothes and empty bottles arranged neatly.
Well I just got back into town from working and i was looking for a shirt for an interview and i remembered it was in the closet. I moved the paintings and skateboards and other things that were blocking the door and peeked inside.
And i found some nice denims and nice shirts and cool long socks from the last time my weight was this low (6'1", 150) and they fit just slightly loose and look so good. I threw out my ex's stuff and im saving the empty bottles for an art piece.
I'm so happy and feel so refreshed.
Big big big yeeet.
So good to be back. I beat the shame closet and now I feel so free. The happy part of me was locked away and I've taken it back!
Has r thinspo gone private?
/u/MSplinterED
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:35:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9td8e7/has_r_thinspo_gone_private/
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My other account can still see the subreddit. But my current account I'm logged in right now can't.
[Thinspo] Is the thinspo sub down
/u/MSplinterED
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:27:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9td5gc/is_the_thinspo_sub_down/
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It's not loading for me
[Rant/Rave] "Oh, Thank God you're small!"
/u/misssarajones [5'3.25 | CW: 132 |BMI: 23.4 | HW: 175 | UGW: 105-115 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:18:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9td2nj/oh_thank_god_youre_small/
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Today was just an overall good day. I didn't feel bad in my body and everyone kept on complimenting me about the tight dress I was wearing.
I also just finished fasting for 7 days, lost 11 pounds and tried to eat my regular binge food - but I felt stuffed after the third dumpling (I ordered 20!).
​
I'm on my way home, and I saw a small spot on the train no one was even trying to sit down at. I was like "Let me take a chance". I sat, and there was enough space between me and the person! (This is NYC, so you know how the trains are if you live here).
​
The person looks at me and say - "Thank God you're small! You fit just perfectly!" I felt so good about it!
I really feel like I'm coming into my body!
​
And tomorrow, I have a date! And I'm feeling really good about tomorrow! I really hope my body dysphoria doesn't fuck me up!
​
about 17 more lbs to go and I'll be at my goal weight!
​
TL;DR : Wore a tight dress - everyone complimented my body. Fasted for 7 days, lost 11 lbs. Couldn't finish 20 dumplings - only ate 3. Saw a small seat on a NYC train, took a chance and sat - person next to me said "Thank God, you're small!". Perfect fit without bumping him. Tomorrow I have a date, and I'm feeling great.
​
17 lbs left to lose.
​
​
[Rant/Rave] I'm starved for love, literally.
/u/thicc2thinn
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tcygd/im_starved_for_love_literally/
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My highest weight and lowest point of life was a year and a half ago. I weighed in at 605 pounds. When I found out that I weighed more than a female giant squid, I stopped eating.
For several months all I consumed was a single Ensure drink, flavor and type fluctuating with my mood, and a cocktail of vitamins and an EC stack.
I weighed in at 300 pounds today.
I'm still ridiculously fat, I don't feel like anything has changed even though I know it has because I have gained mobility and none of my clothes fit anymore. I still see myself as that bigger-than-a-fucking-sea-creature behemoth. I look at before and now comparisons and it just looks the same to me.
I've always been the fat girl with "a pretty face." People tell me this as if it's some kind of consolation prize. Congrats, you're not entirely repulsive, you don't have to go to the bell tower today. People tell me I'm funny and fun to be around and I'm so kind. I'm a catch and someday someone will be able to look past all of the rest of me. It's bullshit.
Men hit on me and always have. I get catcalled and groped in public, and I'm expected to be happy for any male attention. I get propositioned to be someone's dirty secret. Men love to fuck me but come daylight, it never happened. I'm embarrassing, and on some level I get it.
I'm told "I can't help it, you're so sweet and great in many ways but attraction matters" in one breath and in the other, I'm asked if I want to fuck. I'm attractive enough for sex, but not for anything more.
I don't want the sex, I want the love. I want to be able to hold hands with a guy in public, I want him to be happy to be seen with me. I don't know at what point that'll happen, or if it ever will. Is this all I'm good for? God, I hope not.
I don't even have a specific goal weight in mind, which is the scary part of all of this. I'll starve until I feel like I'm enough, but what if that never comes?
it's officially "do i like him or am i just cold?" season
/u/goneralphio
Created: Thu Nov 1 14:00:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tcwlw/its_officially_do_i_like_him_or_am_i_just_cold/
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i've been such a slut this past month but it's not my fault that big boy bodies give off a lot of heat and i am always freezing
i'm probably already going to hell anyways so i'm just going to embrace it
WHO'S WITH ME WHORES
My male friend told me I looked like I weighed 120 lbs
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:57:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tcvjg/my_male_friend_told_me_i_looked_like_i_weighed/
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I'm not even 5'4". I'm 116 lbs. I literally hat a crying fit in the bathroom. 120 is fat to me. 120 lbs is stopping a diet early because you'd rather settle for being chubby so you can gluttonously terrorize more food. 120 is a quitter, a fake, a wannabe. A disgusting number.
And I'm all of these things and I can't fucking stand myself anymore. I dread the day I step on the scale and see 120 again. I might not live much longer after that.
No binge November is already fucked
/u/v-i-o
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:50:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tctad/no_binge_november_is_already_fucked/
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I woke up this morning to taco bell breakfast from my fiance ;w;
I've already purged once and just scarfed down a bag of cheddar popcorn and I've only been awake for 5 hours.
My month is off to a GR8 start <3
No-bender November: an attempt to lower my alcohol calories and better myself
/u/soup_slut [5'5"|138|-39|25F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:42:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tcqrm/nobender_november_an_attempt_to_lower_my_alcohol/
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I'm almost 26. I drink too much. Last night I had over 800 calories in alcoholic beverages, and that's not even really unusual for me. I'd already be at my goal weight if I stopped drinking a year ago.
I'm married. We want kids in the next couple years. I don't know how to make it through pregnancy without drinking, and I sure as hell don't want to be an alcoholic mother.
So here's my first step. For November I'm only allowed to drink two nights each week. On those nights I'm not allowed to have more than three normal sized drinks.
I have to prove I can do it. Three drinks won't get me fucked up. I'll remember what happened the night before. I won't be anywhere near as hungover. But it's enough that I can look forward to it, and my friends won't be weirded out by my sudden sobriety, which caused a lot of questions when I tried it before.
Plus I'll probably fast the days I drink so it packs more of a punch. Maybe that's cheating... oh well, haha.
Wish me luck!
No Binge November book club?
/u/skinnyfuckup [5'3| ?? ]
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:31:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tcmxi/no_binge_november_book_club/
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Greetings wonderful people! I really want to stick to No Binge November and I just downloaded the book Brain Over Binge. Would anyone be interested in doing a lil book club sort of thing this month? We could create a group discord or something to discus, talk about how we implement the advice of the book, give support, etc. Anyone in?
I'm not gonna binge at all this month
/u/wickedhollow [5'0 | 94]
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:26:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tclm9/im_not_gonna_binge_at_all_this_month/
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*immediately eats half a family size box of wild berry fruit loops*
Started taking vitamins everyday and got my period back!
/u/Rosalie_aqua [5'3" | 96.4 | 17.2 | GW 95 | 19F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tcj1l/started_taking_vitamins_everyday_and_got_my/
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I hadn’t had my period for a long time, maybe near to 2 years or so now. But I bought some gummy vitamins a few weeks ago and I’ve been eating them everyday and now I just got my period! My weight is the same so I’m guessing it was probably the vitamins, I’m so happy!
[Help] Have any of you avoided weight fain after a longer fast?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:03:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tce38/have_any_of_you_avoided_weight_fain_after_a/
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(I typed this out once but on my end looks like it didn’t post, so, sorry if this is a duplicate!)
First, i know that water weight plus the physical weight if food you start eating again equals gained pounds, but! This is an ED forum and i want to control the uncontrollable!
Have any of you managed to escape the 3-5 pound gain back after a fast?
People barely comment on my posts but trying Kroger Magnesium Citrate Oral Solution tonight
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 13:01:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tcddi/people_barely_comment_on_my_posts_but_trying/
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The lack of scale movement is just too much. Going to try 6.5 oz of Kroger Magnesium Citrate Oral Solution tonight and hopefully will see the actual loss in the morning.
I know it doesn't keep me from digesting calories, I am just hoping that a clean out will make me feel better. I barely have BMs and when I do they are usually small.
[Discussion] How do you guys deal with weight gain after a successful fast?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Nov 1 12:50:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tc9rh/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_weight_gain_after_a/
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First i know water weight plus the physical weight of eating again adds pounds from your lowest fasting weight, but damn it, this is an ED forum and i want to control the uncontrollable!
Have any of you conquered the 3-5 pound gain after fasting?
It's so ridiculous
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 12:31:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tc3k0/its_so_ridiculous/
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Here I am, sitting half dressed in a freezing cold room to try and force my body to burn off a few tens of calories if that. Whilst also having just eaten 5 potions of pasta and garlic sauce.
Why can't I just eat normal.
you know what I hate about 2018? starving yourself isn’t enough anymore
/u/thecrayonmastermind
Created: Thu Nov 1 12:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tc32b/you_know_what_i_hate_about_2018_starving_yourself/
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Every “thicc” celebrity ever just lies about having plastic surgery, and for some reason, PEOPLE FUCKING BUY IT. So now, being skinny just isn’t enough to meet beauty standards. You need like $20,000 worth of plastic surgery. It’s totally okay to have as much fucking surgery as you want, but god damn
why the fuck you lyin
why you always lying
mMM oH mY gOd
stop fuckin lyin
Because now people expect themselves to have hip-to-waist ratios that I don’t think actually occur in nature. All because *ahem* some famous families just can’t admit that they had plastic surgery and that’s a totally acceptable thing to fucking do. But that’s not what I want to look like. I want to look like 1991 Courtney Love, and I’m well on my way (:
What are your goals for November?
/u/ikeafamous
Created: Thu Nov 1 12:18:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tbz1t/what_are_your_goals_for_november/
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I’m trying to come up with a couple every day resolutions like do Pilates 30 minutes everyday, no fast food etc and i was wondering what yours are!!
[Tip] PSA for fellow volume hoes
/u/staystressin
Created: Thu Nov 1 12:15:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tby4s/psa_for_fellow_volume_hoes/
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Kikkoman miso soup packet (35 cal)
+
Lettuce w/ salt, pepper & apple cider vinegar (~20-30 cal)
=normal looking AND filling lunch for under 100 calories 😬
[Discussion] Guys, wanna read something funny? This guy works in a psych unit in the UK. What an awful human being.
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Thu Nov 1 12:05:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tbuxx/guys_wanna_read_something_funny_this_guy_works_in/
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https://i.redd.it/8l4mwnjrerv11.png
[Rant/Rave] The seven pound binge
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Thu Nov 1 12:02:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tbtyl/the_seven_pound_binge/
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I've been hovering at 169-167 for two weeks. It's just at the high end of a normal BMI for me.
It's been two months of fucked up eating. A can of peas for dinner.
I don't know what snapped last night but I drank and drank and had my peas then a smore then a can of corn then chocolate then wasabi peas and other shit I can't even recall. Like a bad nightmare.
Woke up today and my stomach hurt and I looked in the mirror and could see it visibly distended. I called out sick, vowing to stay home and eat nothing.
Stepped on the scale.
173.
What the fucking fuck.
I cannot get comfortable in my skin today.
[Rant/Rave] Being the Fattest One in Treatment
/u/slightlyannoyed0
Created: Thu Nov 1 11:55:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tbrh0/being_the_fattest_one_in_treatment/
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Woe is me
Time to complain
I hate treatment. Not just because I am forced to eat everything on my plate, the constant weigh-ins and not being able to see how much I really weigh, having to eat over 800 calories in under 5 hours, and having to participate with others.
But because I am the fattest one in treatment.
I'm not saying that because I have "body dysmorphia", but because I know I am the fattest one there; with my disgusting thighs that touch, my flabby arms, and gross stomach. The other girls actually LOOK like they have a problem; they're small and fragile-like.
I don't know, I just feel like a wannabe, like I don't need to be there, that I am too fat to need any help.
My mother even said that the girls are skinnier than me :-/
I haven't felt more suicidal in my life more than now. All of the terrible events from the past are being brought up again, my family being shit, and me feeling worthless.
Whatever, I just wanted to share, not for the attention, but to see if anyone else felt like this or is going through a semi-similar situation.
[Other] I made an edit about binge/starve cycles (epilepsy warning)
/u/gayandirresponsible
Created: Thu Nov 1 11:43:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tbnka/i_made_an_edit_about_bingestarve_cycles_epilepsy/
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https://i.redd.it/gybw78koarv11.gif
[Help] How to avoid that mid day hunger?
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Thu Nov 1 11:38:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tblwk/how_to_avoid_that_mid_day_hunger/
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I’m trying to recover from b/p but I get triggered when I’ve already eaten before I’m home for work. Any tips to survive the lunch-2pm work hunger?
Back Into It
/u/blehblehbleh67
Created: Thu Nov 1 11:23:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tbgt8/back_into_it/
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Back into OMAD with 700 calorie dinners and tracking every little thing. Back into excessive caffeine and EC stacks when things get hard. I relaxed on my eating to focus on my fitness routine but today that stops. I’ve also been purging when I eat anything more than my planned dinners and I’d rather not do that regularly. Birthday body here I come!
Whats the serving size on a subway personal pizza?
/u/homgerygorl
Created: Thu Nov 1 11:04:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tbao6/whats_the_serving_size_on_a_subway_personal_pizza/
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This is such a stupid question but is the whole pizza 1 serving or is it like half the pizza? TIA
Last night.
/u/yay_kneecole
Created: Thu Nov 1 10:55:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tb7st/last_night/
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Last night my fiance and I took our son to his mom's house to take him trick-or-treating around her neighborhood. My fiance's sister was there with her two boys. His mom and his sister and naturally this and are constantly working out, hardly eating, and always making nasty comments about other people's weight (man, woman or child, they don't care.. if they can make a comment about the person being large or overweight, they will).
I decided to wear a bumble bee costume because I didn't want something tight against my stomach and feel insecure. I felt cute and comfortable in my baggy bee tunic. I haven't been doing well mental health wise and have been going through a bought of depression lately. I've been HATING my body, especially my stomach lately but yesterday I felt nice and I was excited to walk my son around the neighborhood.
I followed my fiance into the house to grab a bottle of water and was on my way out to the garage when his sister walk over to me and asked, loudly, "Hey are you pregnant?"
I stopped.my heart and stomach dropped.
I looked her in the eyes and answered no. I could tell my face showed I was hurt. My fiance stopped and said, "Wooow, really?!" She said, "well your costume just looks so perfectly round around the middle so I just thought.." I quickly said no and walked out to the garage with my son.
I couldn't shake it off the whole night and cried the whole way home. My fiance kept telling me that his sister is an idiot and he doesn't think I'm fat or whatever.
I feel like she just confirmed what I have always thought they always thought about me.
Sorry for the long, disorganized rant but I just had tell someone. I'm crying while typing..
Seriously, fuck her.
started intermittent fasting with my mother— how is this different than an eating disorder?
/u/svidrigailovs
Created: Thu Nov 1 10:48:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tb5iw/started_intermittent_fasting_with_my_mother_how/
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Ok so for background I’m living with my mother because I left school because of bulimia and other various mental health issues lmao. She’s trying to get healthy and really doesn’t have a disordered mindset in doing so and is eating very low carb and doing intermittent fasting. We’re fasting 16:8 everyday although it tends more to 18:6 and then skipping a whole day of eating 1-2x a week for a 40 hr fast and like genuinely if this is healthy why are ed behaviors so dangerous!! like I know a lot about the medical complications in EDs and I’ve started reading the science behind fasting and I guess mindset plays a role in whether it’ll interfere with your health and happiness or whatever but like genuinely how can these honestly very related behaviors be so different in health outcomes? they even encourage exercising on a fast which I always see PSAs about in ED communities bc like... that’s how you black out
[Discussion] OMAD versus fasting
/u/comrade_toastboy [65" | CW: 116 | GW 100-105 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 10:41:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tb38i/omad_versus_fasting/
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So the last two weeks I’ve been doing 2 or 3 day fasts because eating scares me. I used to do breakfast OMAD but I hated feeling full. I’m wondering which is your preference fasting or OMAD. I was thinking of doing an ever other day OMAD/fast.
[Rant/Rave] "Go whine to somebody else for a change"
/u/wristsPlz
Created: Thu Nov 1 10:40:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tb2p8/go_whine_to_somebody_else_for_a_change/
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My boyfriend just said this to me and I feel like somebody just punched me in the throat. Yeah I had been complaining. He knows I'm dieting and I've hit a plateau and was sad about it. I was just about to apologise and change the topic and then that. I don't know if this is too off topic but I just don't have anyone in real life to talk to and I feel like this sub is so supportive even though I've only been active in it for a few days. So i thought it might be okay.
I have a history of anxiety and depression too and he's basically been the thing that makes me happy ever since we got together. I was severely depressed for a long time before. I want to self harm but that's bad. I want to binge and purge and starve all at the same time. This has just triggered me so badly and I don't know how to cope with that at this point. Fuck. I don't usually get like this anymore even when something bad happens.
He's not even that kind, he's a fucking asshole sometimes but I know he loves me and that keeps me afloat but how the fuck do I cope with this.
Sorry for the mess I just had to say something somewhere
[Help] EC stack question
/u/AltruisticJacket [5'2" | 95 | 17 | 60lbs | 23F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 10:22:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tax0j/ec_stack_question/
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I know this is no substitute for medical advice and I’ll take it all with a grain of salt - just asking for person anecdotes....if taking ephedrine do you need to take caffeine pills specifically or can you get your caffeine from a coffee at the same time? Also - is aspirin necessary? Not sure what the context of EC vs ECA is. It’s my first time stacking and I’m starting with 8 mg ephedrine
[Other] Eating disorder and depression, chicken and egg?
/u/IridescentLesbian
Created: Thu Nov 1 10:12:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tatzu/eating_disorder_and_depression_chicken_and_egg/
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Which comes first? I relapsed recently and my depression seems to have spontaniously reappeared with it. Lovin life 🙃
[Goal] I bought whole milk for the first time in 4 years today
/u/IdidntChooseThis [6'0| CW: 121| bmi: 16.41]
Created: Thu Nov 1 10:11:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tatq7/i_bought_whole_milk_for_the_first_time_in_4_years/
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As title states. I know this is kind of a different goal than most of y'all have, but I seriously can't lose more. I'm drinking a glass of chocolate milk right now and damn, I feel like Chris Traeger when he drinks that full-fat eggnog at Christmas, like 1% and skim ain't shit compared to how amazing whole milk tastes. I'm simultaneously fighting the urge to chug it, and the other urge to dump it out, but hey, I'm drinking whole milk.
Idk. Wanted to share a healthier milestone in this hellscape.
Congratulate me you anorexic bitches (/s)
My one 2500 calorie day is NOT turning into a three day binge!
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 109 | GW 104 | F26]
Created: Thu Nov 1 09:41:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tajjn/my_one_2500_calorie_day_is_not_turning_into_a/
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Yesterday I ate a lot of food before bed and today's weigh in reflected that, but this time I'm back on track right away! Last time I let it turn into a "don't give a fuck" weekend and this time it will be different.
[Rant/Rave] Halloween really does suck!
/u/okbunnie
Created: Thu Nov 1 09:41:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tajc7/halloween_really_does_suck/
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I hate that I went trick or treating, I went to my friends and ate a pizza and breadsticks then ate candy after I got candy :// everything just was thrown out of the window but I ended up giving my candy to my brothers and keeping just lollipops so I have something to have if I’m hungry and have sweet cravings.
By the end of the night I gained 2 pounds!! But I’m glad I did end up telling myself to stop. So I’m back to restricting 🙃🙃
Cognitive dissonance
/u/13959470 [5'4" | 109.4 | 18.8 | ~30 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 09:36:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9tahup/cognitive_dissonance/
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When you’re still usually the thinnest person in the room, but feel disgusted and ashamed because you’re not the thinnest you’ve been.
I have gained a bit of weight since cutting ties with my abuser and that is probably a good thing and probably nobody has noticed but I can feel it when I walk and get dressed and everything and it makes me feel super anxious and hopeless. I can’t decide if I want to recover or relapse at this point. Either way it’s taking up an unhealthy amount of my mental energy cycling through the same thought loops all. day. long.
[Goal] I woke up at my goal weight today
/u/Alexithymia115 [5'3" | CW:120 | 21.3|GW:115|UGW:110 | 23F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 09:00:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ta6ba/i_woke_up_at_my_goal_weight_today/
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I don't even fucking know if it's real weight. Or all water weight or part water part fat. But I woke up at 115.0, 25% body fat 80lbs of muscle today(according to my scale) and it was just beautiful.
I don't look perfect yet I wanna get down to 110-12 for that and start weight lifting or something (I know if I go any lower I'll start looking unhealthy and that's no good for me anymore I want to be the picture of health and perfection).
But it just felt good to look in the mirror this morning and see myself again even just a little bit. It made the slight chest pain from yesterday mornings fast (IF) worth it. I'm planning to increase my protein/fats to carbs ratio so I don't get health defects like the last time I was in this state of mind. It's just this is what I know works for me. I can't maintain my good weight on intuitive eating. I'm not crazy restricting I eat 900-1100 calories a day and exercise at least twice a week.
Am I obsessed? Yeah. But it's so different from when I was 13 AN-BN and all sorts of baby fat and crazy. It's so different this time I don't know maybe because I know better? I have more knowledge? I know what the body TRULY needs? I'm not as traumatized as I was when I was a kid? Just so many parts in my life are so close to perfect and I need my body to be perfect and obey my will and this is the only way I've ever brought this wretched thing under my control.
I know I should slow down and maintain here so my body will feel safe here and not balloon the next time I eat over 1200 but I can't let go of the rush feeling of success knowing how close I am to my ideal.
r/fasting confuses me
/u/thatgentleman28101 [5’5 | CW 107 lbs | GW 78 lbs| ]
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:57:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ta520/rfasting_confuses_me/
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People over there posting about the fucking superpowers they get after fasting 72 hours, if I go that long I start getting heart palpitations.
I ate a lot of candy last night
/u/Sushisavage
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:52:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ta3nr/i_ate_a_lot_of_candy_last_night/
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And I swear today my face looks visibly swollen and I look 5x worse than usual. Body dysmorphia - check.
restricting life
/u/princessonania
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:49:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ta2u2/restricting_life/
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i keep restricting every part of my life. i think its a control thing. MY ED is fueled by anxiety/ stress but also by the urge to be skinny as a means to show that ive got my life together??? to me fat =out of control (but i think thats normal with EDs right?) but other things too...
i just feel like im constantly holding myself back. i can never allow myself to do what i want or say what i want even if i dont REALLY want to, if that makes sense. i have a craving to just let myself go! i want to allow myself to be unhealthy, fat, broke, promiscuous, rude, stupid etc... all this restriction is driving me crazy... am i the only one who feels like this????
[Discussion] what’s the dumbest thing you’ve done due to restriction brain fog?
/u/urfavoritehalflight [5’7 | 135 bs | BMI 21 | -65 lbs | 20M]
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:41:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ta09e/whats_the_dumbest_thing_youve_done_due_to/
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I know for me during heavy restriction periods or during a fast, I constantly feel like I’m in a fog and can’t think straight (almost like your brain needs nutrients to function, weird.) I know I can’t be alone here, since that’s how our bodies work, so I’m curious if any of you all have any specific incidents you remember or wanna share.
The worst I can think of for me is when I just got in my car to drive home from a friends apartment one night and I ended up heading down a one way street... the wrong way... with my lights off... face to face with a cop car. Luckily, she just scolded me and let me go since I was apologizing profusely and immediately turned around and pulled into the nearest parking lot expecting a ticket (or more likely a breathalyzer given it was a Saturday night in a busy neighborhood with lots of bars and college students and I was driving like a moron), but the whole situation made me much more cautious about driving when I fast or restrict heavily. I didn’t even realize my lights weren’t on until the cop told me. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] I weighed myself for the first time in almost three weeks... and it’s the same number???
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:29:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9wb8/i_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_almost/
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Ok so I didn’t weigh myself for like three weeks after I had a very rough binge weekend.
I told myself it was for recovery reasons but I think deep down I actually wanted to be pleasantly surprised by the new number on the scale. I felt like I was getting skinnier too, I don’t trust my eyes but all my jeans were loose and my stomach looked weirdly okay at least in the morning. I had two to three-ish binges (including the first weekend), but they weren’t THAT bad, and I restricted the rest of the time, so I didn’t think it would change much. Before the first binge I ate almost nothing for days so it shouldn’t make much of a difference right?
The last ten days I restricted, sometimes lower, sometimes higher but always under 1200 cal. I don’t feel bad or hungry which makes me kinda suspicious but I am absolutely sure I count my calories right. I eat a lot of protein so maybe that’s why?
Today I finally stepped on the scale, pretty anxious but also excited and the number was almost the same as the last time I checked?? Only went down 0,4 kilos which wouldn’t even be a big deal if I didn’t restrict, because last time I checked my weight I was still super bloated from a binge.
I don’t get it??? I know it could be water weight but I watched my sodium intake the last two days to prevent that, I drank cabbage juice yesterday to get everything out of my system, so I don’t think there’s any waste weight? I was so sure I would be way under my gw :(
I’m a bit sad because it was all for nothing now. Not weighing myself was so hard, I used to do it up to ten times a day, and it felt like failing to not logg in my weight every day and all, and now I didn’t even lose weight..
Trying to decide if I should eat a carb heavy meal to make a woosh happen or wait ANOTHER day
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:19:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9tf1/trying_to_decide_if_i_should_eat_a_carb_heavy/
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The scale went down to 114.9 on saturday and since then has been between 115.3-115.5. That is what my weight was last week. I have posted a few times about it not going down despite the fact that i work out every day, weigh my food, and eat between 900-1050 calories a day.
Was thinking about having spaghetti to break the plateau and make a woosh happen. I logged what it would be and it would bring my daily calories to 1170, still under my BMR and definitely under the 1890 calories I burn daily....but 150 calories over what I have been eating.
Should I just stay patient and wait for the woosh? If i break the plateau with pasta, do I need to make my calories above BMR?
Trying to get to 4pm
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:14:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9rwx/trying_to_get_to_4pm/
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I have therapy at 4 and I’m trying to make it till then without eating so I don’t have a panic attack! who’s with me let’s goooOoOOoO~!
I’m supposed to be recovering, but I’m debating on buying bronkaid. pls talk me out of it 🙃
[Discussion] Most weight lost in 10 days
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Thu Nov 1 08:04:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9p5f/most_weight_lost_in_10_days/
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In 3 days I’ve lost 6 pounds and I have another 10 days to reach my first goal weight of 110. I’m curious for you guys what’s the most you’ve lost in 10 days.
[Rant/Rave] Screw You, PB&J
/u/peyton2724 [5'9'' | CW: 145 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 07:50:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9kwq/screw_you_pbj/
---
I am not someone who has a lot of fear foods - just the normal, high cal, unsatisfying stuff. But even when it comes to the worst of the worst, like the highest calorie cereal you can think of, I will eat ANYTHING you give me before a damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Who thought it was a good idea to wrap 300 calories into a little square that takes one good breath to consume? And who thought it was a good idea to make it so un-filling it feels like you just swallowed air?
I will look you in the eyes and eat a whole freaking share size bag of peanut MnMs before I even breathe in the presence of a peanut butter jelly sandwich.
(This started because someone brought me a peanut butter jelly sandwich for lunch when all I asked for was one of my protein bars. It was a very sweet gesture and I love them but pb&j is to blame here.)
OMAD ideas?
/u/sonofagun70124
Created: Thu Nov 1 07:37:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9h6g/omad_ideas/
---
I'm a habitual faster and i tend to go 2-3 days without eating between 300-500 calorie meals. my best friend is worried about my ED, but she's not stupid and she understands I can't "just eat" and I'm not willing to recover. she made a deal with me that if i can eat one meal a day-- it doesn't have to be hugely caloric or anything, I can still maintain an <500 deficit if i want, I just can't count like a single French fry as a meal-- we'd get a gym membership together and start going twice a week. i really need the exercise and i want to give her some peace regarding my eating so I agreed. thing is... i dont have time to cook. today the plan is a lean cuisine meal, but most of the time, I have work as soon as im home from school and i have maybe 15-30 minutes to prepare something. any ideas for quick meals that have some iota of nutrients and dont take forever? I'm gonna get bored of eating four yogurt cups as a meal...
[Rant/Rave] New month, bitches.
/u/standingbymountains
Created: Thu Nov 1 07:23:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9dd9/new_month_bitches/
---
Forget that October was supposed to be your no-binge month. Forget that you didn’t meet your Halloween goal weight, or that you spent the holiday binge eating candy and basically all other food you don’t even like, and purging it like ya girl (holla at me bulimics heyyyy). It’s a new month, with new goals! Christmas is two months away, so there’s plenty of time to be our skinniest selves for the season.
Here’s to all of you reaching your goals- whether that’s to slim down, recover, get fitter/faster, or just hang in there and try to maintain your damn sanity.
I believe in all of you. 💕
Here’s to no-fucking-up November!
Just some thoughts...
/u/beebeelion
Created: Thu Nov 1 07:11:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9a2d/just_some_thoughts/
---
Lately I have been falling back into it. I remember when I used to have to muster a lot of self control in order to make it through each day reaching my goals, but these days it seems easier. Easier to not eat, but harder since it's consuming my mind more. Like it's on auto pilot. As if I don't even have control of this anymore. I found myself driving to work this morning, adding up calories of what I was going to have today, feeling really upset that I was a little over 800, but also impressed with myself that I knew the exact amount of calories in each food item I thought of. I usually aim for 1200 but end up in the 800-900 range. This 1200 has gone down from 1500, to 1300, now 1200 when it really should be 900 but I can't bring myself to officially put that in my Fitness pal in case my husband happens to see. Today, that range seems like SO MUCH to me. Too much.
I also have been wondering what my body really looks like. I feel confused when I put something on and it's really baggy. I don't see how it could possibly be baggy on me. Because of this, I bought two pairs of work pants/slacks that were a size smaller, but they have been sitting in my closet for two weeks because I cannot bring myself to wear them in public. I am terrified to. I am comfortable hiding behind the baggy clothes. Soon I will not be able to, as my pants will literally fall off within the next week or so. But I am still uncomfortable. I see my reflection in a store window, and am convinced that it is distorted and making me look thinner than I really am, and look away in disgust feeling bad about myself. How I am just wishful thinking all of the time.
I am careful not to overeat because I do not want to purge. My cat likes to follow me into the bathroom and I cannot bring myself to do that in front of her. As stupid as that sounds...
My husband has recently started working out more often. Almost too often, and I worry that he isn't letting himself rest enough. He has the tendency to get a little obsessed with things like this. Pushing himself to the limits. I ask him to be careful, not to hurt himself, which even though he is sore on a daily basis, he assures me he is fine. Of course in my disordered brain, it feels like something to compete with. "Ok so you can push yourself to the edge with working out, watch what I can do". In a sick way, it motivates me. I do not care much for how it affects me in an unhealthy way, but I do care about him, and would prefer that he was more educated and knowledgeable about how to do it right without the risk of injury. He refuses to take my advice, and in retaliation, I feel like ok, watch how thin I can get, then you try to tell me to knock it off. It's so stupid when I say it out loud, but it's the stupid things that go through my head.
I feel like, and have always felt like everything will be better once I am comfortable with my body. But now I wonder if I ever will be. How can I be if I can't even see what everyone else sees? When will it ever be good enough for me?
For anyone that has read this, thanks for listening.
no binge november
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Thu Nov 1 07:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t97zl/no_binge_november/
---
We GOT this ladies n gents
What are your November goals? Ed or otherwise
I’d like to be at 110 by the end of the month
[Goal] I want to eat healthier just for this month.
/u/conuretrash [5'4''| 20 F | CW 147 | GW 115| -43 |]
Created: Thu Nov 1 07:03:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t97nl/i_want_to_eat_healthier_just_for_this_month/
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I’m really tired of binging and what I does to my body. I’m also tired of fasting and losing all my beautiful hair. This month, I just want to focus on eating healthier- I’m tired of eating fried foods and sweets all the time and being so bloated. I plan on getting into ketosis this weekend and just sticking with it for a month. Obviously at a deficit, and probably a high one. But. I want to eat salads and proteins when I do eat. Seems like something worth trying, I don’t think my body can feel any worse.
Need advice
/u/MildMannerdPate
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:55:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t95ic/need_advice/
---
Dropped a lot of weight quickly via heavy restriction. Any advice for losing this loose skin that makes me just feel fat.
Had my tummy tuck and I just need to rant.
/u/Avadakaboom [5'8.5" | 135lbs | 19.94 | -95 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:47:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t93n4/had_my_tummy_tuck_and_i_just_need_to_rant/
---
Surgery went great, no more saggy ballsack tummy. The swelling is a bitch, but still 1000x better than what it was.
I just know I have to eat to heal. I had to gain weight to even have surgery because my surgeon said I was technically underweight if you didn't count the 10-12 lbs of extra skin. So I did and it was hard. Barely made weigh in day of surgery.
He told me my appetite would be shit after surgery and he wasnt fucking lying. That I needed to at least eat at matienence if I couldn't eat above that but guys, I fucking can't. I'm struggling to drink those breakfast shake things with whole milk. Between no appetite and not wanting to gain weight while healing I feel like I'm never ever going to actually heal.
Don't get me wrong, i am healing. My incision is completely closed and looks great, I only had one drain for two days. My bellybutton is worrying me but only because its leaky and seems to be healing funny but ive heard that revisions in belly buttons are common so I'm not too worried about it.
But I can't eat, even if I wanted to and I effin don't. Anyone else have this or any type of surgery? How did you deal with nutrition after?
Plus this shit has me so emotional. I feel like I'm pregnant again fucking bawling over toilet paper commercials.
I finally got a whoosh
/u/randomspaceprincess [5'11" | CW: Too much | -33lb | GW: 100lb | 28f]
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:37:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t90wd/i_finally_got_a_whoosh/
---
I hit a bit of a low recently. I was switching between low and high restricting for a while and then suddenly I got the flu and just kinda... ate whatever. Because I felt like I had an excuse.
Yesterday was the first day where I finally got things back on track. I knew I was gonna watch scary movies with friends for Halloween and that I was gonna have a few drinks, so I ate around 100cal for breakfast and then had a bunch of gin and tonic until I got tired and went to bed. Didn't expect much this morning, honestly only weighed myself out of habit this time and **it was almost 5lbs less than yesterday whaaaaat????**
I am still not 100% convinced I am reading the scale right. Weighed myself a few more times in various parts of the room (*because what if the scale just shows the wrong numbers because it stands in a weird spot amirite*) and eventually came to the conclusion that, yes, this actually, really, seriously happened.
Not gonna lie, before today, I was hella frustrated. I've been dealing with an ED for ages, but in recent years I've been mostly gaining weight because of fake recovery and having no idea how to eat like a normal human being. I don't want people to worry about me, but I 100% can't deal with being fat anymore. I just want this weight off of me asap. I legit tried healthy weight loss for a while (April til August), but whenever one of those CICO apps calculates how long it would take me to lose weight by maintaining a minor calorie deficit, I lose my mind. I don't wanna be thin in a year or two. I wanna be thin now.
Eugh, sorry y'all, this has turned into a major rant. I just wanted to share this with y'all, because while my friends are supportive about my weight loss, I can't really share how excited these dumb numbers make me. Having an ED can be super lonely sometimes and having this place to come to and just... talk about things is really nice.
Thank you
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:34:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t9094/thank_you/
---
Honestly though i do not know you guys, i want to thank y’all for being so supportive. Every time i want to rant about my low self esteem issues, i would always visit this page, type out everything i wanna talk about. I’ve tried talking to people who do not personally struggle with ED. Uhm, it sucks. They do not understand what i’m feeling so it’s practically useless ya know. But welp sorry for being so random but i’m thankful to know that i’m not alone and you aren’t too! Y’all are beautiful human beings and i know it sucks to have this stupid ED:’)
Have a great day beautiful person reading this!:)
11lb loss in 2 days?
/u/j4ckson
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:31:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8zhk/11lb_loss_in_2_days/
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2 days ago I weighed 9st 3lbs. Today I weigh 8st 6lbs. Is this an alarming amount of weight loss or is it mainly just water weight? Like I wanna be skinny but I don’t wanna die lol
[Discussion] Opinions on 29inch waist and 41inch hips?
/u/woulddieforabba
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:29:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8ytf/opinions_on_29inch_waist_and_41inch_hips/
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[Help] Failed big time
/u/LuKiOMFG
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:26:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8y3n/failed_big_time/
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So, I just found out that I failed this semester at uni, so I'll have to talk to a careers counselor and student support to see if I can continue full-time next semester. Only problem is that I can't tell them the real reason that I'm struggling. How could I tell them that I struggle to study because I feel I need to focus most of my attention to my ED? How do you even begin to explain that? And if I did they can make me take a break and see a school psychologist. I'm studying Psychology and the last thing I want is to see a psychologist....the irony. I've contacted student support early in the hopes to stay full-time but not sure what to say. I know that I'm capable of doing well, I just wish I could balance everything. Suggestions?
Lost three pounds since Sunday! Gonna celebrate by having a mental breakdown and eating this whole box of cereal. No milk.
/u/SushiUschi
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:19:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8wan/lost_three_pounds_since_sunday_gonna_celebrate_by/
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👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
Living **the life**.
[Rant/Rave] Y’all
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | 127lbs | 19.31 | -28lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8uow/yall/
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I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and my hip bones were visible! I’ve never noticed this before omg. I mean they’re not jutting completely out or anything but they’re there! This was like one of the first goals I ever set back at my HW.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! November 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8uc2/daily_food_diary_november_01_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 01, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support November 01, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:09:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8tza/weekly_emotional_support_november_01_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] @my weight: WHY would you go up by 1.2 lbs in ONE day?!?!
/u/quietpandaa [5'1 | 88.6 | 16.7 | -25 | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:07:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8tdg/my_weight_why_would_you_go_up_by_12_lbs_in_one_day/
---
I've been sloooowly losing on 1200 per day, which has been annoying but sustainable in terms of managing a full class and work schedule. Yesterday I had my usual 1200. It was all safe foods that I eat pretty regularly (strawberries, Skinny Pop, Halo Top, etc.), and I measured everything with my food scale.
Then I stepped on the scale this morning and I was 89.8?! Up literally over a pound from yesterday. How is that even possible? TMI I've been constipated for a few days and my stomach feels really bloated today but still.
My day is ruined now and I'm debating whether to eat my usual calories or just fast all day. My heart says fast, my brain says 1200 lmao. And I'm supposed to be "recovering" and "weight-restoring" too, or else my parents will refuse to pay for college when I go back home for winter break. Should probably stop weighing myself every day and counting calories but I need that Control.
[Tip] No food november
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Thu Nov 1 06:03:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8skn/no_food_november/
---
r/fasting is doing an open ended goal [accountability thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/fasting/comments/9t0eyi/november_challenges/?utm_source=reddit-android) with a lot of people trying for their first 30 day fast.
[Rant/Rave] DAE ever lose a massive amount in one day?
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Thu Nov 1 05:46:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8ojs/dae_ever_lose_a_massive_amount_in_one_day/
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So yesterday I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw that the scale displayed *one entire freaking kilo* less than on Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, I know, water and waste weight but still!
Unfortunately this morning I had gained 300 grams back apparently... Though this was pre-BM, which was massive (sorry, TMI). So now I'm hoping that I'll be even lighter tomorrow than yesterday morning.
I've installed a countdown app on my phone because there's a very special day in 48 days and I'm dead set on reaching my GW by that time, which is 3kg less than what I weigh now.
[Rant/Rave] mom is giving me the silent treatment again (possible tw; abuse)
/u/gayandirresponsible
Created: Thu Nov 1 05:31:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8lcw/mom_is_giving_me_the_silent_treatment_again/
---
I was going to post this in another sub, but they have a politics ban and this is heavily influenced by such sooo.
So, I unfriended my mom's brother on facebook after she told me he voted trump, around 1pm on halloween. When she learned, she screamed "seriously? I can't believe you would do that. I'm never telling you anything ever!" and then slammed the door on the way out. It's now the next day, and she still hasn't said a word to me. But, she let's me know she's upset by slamming everything. As always, she made it about her and how it affects her, and also as always, it's my fault. She won't talk to me until I talk to her first. Because I always have to ease the tension because somehow the tension is my fault, right? Well I'm not doing it this time. Let her stew in her own emotions, and make her deal with the consequences of her actions. It may be petty or immature, or I may only feel that that way because of my abuse. Nonetheless, even if it's a bad decision, it's mine because I am just so sick of everything. I do not see the big deal? first of all, unfriending someone on facebook...it's fucking facebook. Secondly, she may be so ignorant that she can't see how someone's political views are indicative of their character, but I'm not. Not to mention how heavily politics affects me, my life, and my future, so sorry if I choose not to be friends with someone who is and supports a white nationalist.
But, at least now I've lost my appetite, and don't want to leave my room for food due to the atmosphere in the house; it's easier to restrict, so yay?
Short limbs or just fat?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 05:23:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8jos/short_limbs_or_just_fat/
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I’m overweight but I feel like I have disproportionately short limbs for my height. Do you think that your arms and legs look longer as you lose weight? It doesn’t help that whenever I see someone skinny I always compare our arms and legs and height. But most of the time their legs look much longer than mine like wth??
The worst thing
/u/EmpireStateBitch [5'4" | GW 115 | UGW 100 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 05:21:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8j62/the_worst_thing/
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I'm a professional athlete, it's what I do, it's who I am. Over-exercise is both a part of my ED and my profession. And I tore my FUCKING ACL and MENISCUS. And so now I have to do surgery and lie around in bed for 6 months and not do any of the things that I love and that I need and oh god, I'm gonna get so fat.
[Rant/Rave] I hit the wall running
/u/lattephobia
Created: Thu Nov 1 05:08:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8gel/i_hit_the_wall_running/
---
And I am LIVID. Like, logically I should not be angry. Realistically, this should not be a big deal. When it comes down to it, this should even be a triumph. I'm on my period, I'm averaging about 800 cal a day, and I still technically set a personal best.
But I'm pissed.
So I've been doing 15-20 minute jogs with the dog right around the time my husband gets up for work, about 4x a week, for the last week of September through the whole month of October. Last week, I discovered my fitness tracker has a built-in training function. You input your average workout, pick a 5k, 10k, or 20k goal, decide which days of the week are your rest days, and it tells you how long/far/target BPM to run.
I've been a rowing machine junkie, I've had misguided notions of wanting to do figure, was a very avid cyclist for a couple years when I got sober, I break out in fits of yoga pretty regularly, like I do actually enjoy exercise. I hate treadmills but I love jogging in the pre-dawn hours when everyone is still asleep. I've never really *run* toward a *goal* before though, so this sounded fun.
Today is the fourth active day of the four week 5k program, and it had me set to 2.45mi in 45 minutes, with a target of 140BPM. Like okay, cool, slow and steady.
I got to 37 fucking minutes. I did 2.6 miles, my average heart rate was 154, but I came up eight minutes short. Eight fucking minutes. And it's making me crazy right now, because I just... Couldn't. Body no wanna. Mind is willing but the flesh is spongy and weak. I haven't hit that point in *any* exercise since I was trying to work up to 100k cycling. And given the distance, the time is totally arbitrary. I should have won fair and square by beating 2/3 numbers. But no. Eight minutes.
So my salty ass is in bed about to eat six egg whites and some fucking yogurt.
And in the small hours of tomorrow morning, I will eat some oatmeal and do it again until I get it right.
Bloated literally all the time but
/u/RDSregret [5'4 | 105 | 18 | -51 lbs | 18F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 04:56:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8dz9/bloated_literally_all_the_time_but/
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I refuse to give up my excessive chewing gum and diet soda, guess I'll always have a big ass belly despite my weight lmao oops
[Discussion] crash your car? don't worry! fasting deletes all emotion
/u/lightningmcqueef69
Created: Thu Nov 1 04:53:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8ddc/crash_your_car_dont_worry_fasting_deletes_all/
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i may or may not *ahem* have driven my car into a ditch yesterday and everything is fine but at first i was pretty confused about my lack of emotional response,,
realized as i was going to sleep and checking Vora that it's bc i've got that sweet, sweet fasting high and can't feel anything except tired anyway
y'all ever experience shit like this?- your ed hindering like... normal emotional responses and/or distress lmao
[Goal] Guys I have a new weight loss goal
/u/eloana12
Created: Thu Nov 1 04:44:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t8bj9/guys_i_have_a_new_weight_loss_goal/
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Lose weight at my back/neck so my spine sticks out more. Today, a dude I’ve been flirting with began massaging my shoulders. He rubbed the base of my neck, where some bone sticks out, and said ‘that’s hot.’ I clarified with him and said ‘the bone?’ He responded ‘yea.’ Hell yea it is, let me make it jut out more for you since I have 0 self esteem.
[Help] Bruising/extremely weak skin??
/u/Choopy22
Created: Thu Nov 1 04:27:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t881g/bruisingextremely_weak_skin/
---
Hi all!
First of all I just want to start by saying I'm not looking for medical advice- I have been for blood tests and awaiting results. My doctor isn't the best and doesn't listen to me very much. I've also got a referral to a dermatologist which I will go to once I have the money.
I've noticed that since my eating habits have become rather disordered again that my skin is extremely weak? At my lowest weight (48ish kgs) I did notice that I was bruising quite frequently. I gained over 10 kgs in a few months and am now trying to get it off. Of course I've slipped back into old habits trying to lose it quickly and was wondering if it could be related? I'll attach photos that I've taken over the last few days, both my legs are covered in little bruises. I've not remembered hitting them (I'm clumsy and hit myself quite often- and usually end up with a painful bruise- basically I know when I've done damage). These bruises just showed up almost all at once and they aren't painful or anything. Also any little scrape or nick at my skin (e.g. while shaving or after picking at my acne fml) takes FOREVER to heal and usually scars even though it may just be a little bug bite or something. It's like my skin isn't healing properly.
I've also been dealing with hormonal issues and excessive bleeding (working with my doctor on different pills to try and control it). I'm just wondering if you guys have had any experience with this kinda thing? Maybe it's not related to my eating at all but if it is is there any foods/supplements that you found to help? Once again I want to add that I am seeing a doctor but I'm just curious really to explore why it's happening.
Link to photos - http://imgur.com/a/ppQECvM
when the guy you have been going out with notices that you never eat anything and lie about it and it’s even more embarrassing because you are still a whale lol
/u/sugarolive
Created: Thu Nov 1 03:55:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t81wu/when_the_guy_you_have_been_going_out_with_notices/
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So I’ve met this guy a few weeks ago and we’ve been hanging out since. It’s more of a friends w/ benefits thing but it’s going great. So I’m over at his house and he says he is really hungry and wants to order something and I say that I have already eaten and don’t want anything. We are drinking at this point and I got drunk pretty quick because I obviously hadn’t eaten, actually I had been fasting for 48 hours. So he eats, we watch something and make out until he stops and starts asking me about why I got drunk so quickly and if I am lying about what I had to eat that day since he never sees me eat anything anyways. lmaaooo whyyy I’m not even skinny and now he thinks I’m a freak but boiii being with you was a major trigger because I wanted to look better can u pls leave me the fuck alonee
Everything hurts and I’m dying
/u/succumbmum
Created: Thu Nov 1 03:54:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t81nw/everything_hurts_and_im_dying/
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Excuse me as I scream in the void of the internet for a minute. I can’t flair, I’m on mobile. I’m always on mobile.
As I write this I’m on the toilet crying because I’m constipated and in pain, I drank some “smooth move” tea to get things going because it’s been 3 days since my last BM and since I just had surgery my doctor realllllly needs me a take a shit. this is awful, I’m alone after surgery, trying my damndest to take care of my kids, and struggling with food. Like the first 2 days were not bad. Pain scale of like 4/5. Now I’m easily a 6/7. I’m trying to eat healthy foods because I know my body needs to heal, it’s suffered trauma. And I feel like I can’t ask the people around me for help because I have this thing in my brain that tells me that I’m a burden.
Anyways, long story short. I’m cramping like a motherfucker, my surgery hurts worse than after having a C-section, and I feel weak and sick because my ducking brain is like “think of the calories you are burning trying to heal”
Oh and I’ve gained 15lbs in 3 days from water weight and shit.
This concludes my crying into the void
Seeing doctor for first time since moving to US regarding depression and mood swings. Want to be prescribed Wellbutrin. Worth lying and saying was prescribed it in the UK? Should I not tell about my history with bulimia? Should I tell them I’m still smoking and want to stop?
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Thu Nov 1 03:20:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7vwt/seeing_doctor_for_first_time_since_moving_to_us/
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[Rant/Rave] Why do people have to make comments on what I do/don't eat?? (Rant)
/u/xxxanon1117
Created: Thu Nov 1 03:05:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7tby/why_do_people_have_to_make_comments_on_what_i/
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I go to classes and work at a college that has some close knit circles, everyone pretty much knows everyone, and therefore everyone feels entitled to give unsolicited advice and be way too into my business and hound me about food choices ALL dAy LoNg.
Yesterday: three of my coworkers kept telling me that I should go to the party one of the college clubs is hosting down the hall to get some food. No amount of "I'm fine, thanks. I don't really eat sweets (a total lie). I have stuff to do." would make them leave me alone. I had to walk down the hall, wait a few minutes in the bathroom and tell coworker number 2 I stopped in and had some candy. Coworker number 3 stood by my desk until I went to the party and came back with food. I threw most of it away when I was able. I didnt want to fucking go.
Later in the day I had to host an event that involved, you guessed it, more food. There was a small group of us, people I liked, except for one girl who insisted on commented on every move I made. I made the mistake of eating a fun size piece of candy only to hear "oh, you're eating the candy? Yeah, that's okay. Everyone is. I was too, actually. What did you get?Yeah, I've had those before but I'm not a big fan of chocolate. Did you get a lot of candy today? Did you get any cupcakes or brownies at the party?"
She also commented on how my costume was a little big for me but how it would be bigger on our friend (who is at least 6 inches shorter than me).
Going to a small school sucks so much sometimes.
[Goal] i want to be SKINNY skinny
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw131 (18.5) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 02:53:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7res/i_want_to_be_skinny_skinny/
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not like “oh she’s on the thin side” skinny
not even “aw you should model!” skinny
i want to be made of angles, i want to appear dainty and cute even in big ass sweaters, i want to look like i don’t need to eat because i live off, like, clouds or some shit
i want to be “is she ok?” skinny
i want to be “i could, like, throw you!” skinny
and i will be. and it will be soon and when i get there i will be happy and everything will be simple.
[Rant/Rave] so i'm a wannarexic, what's new w you?
/u/glossipgirl [5"1 | 107.8 | 20.4 | 6.6 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 02:53:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7r9x/so_im_a_wannarexic_whats_new_w_you/
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roll up, roll up! introducing the biggest faker, possibly to ever live!!
no but seriously i've come to terms with the fact that i so do not have an eating disorder. i'm just an attention seeking bitch who channelled that into dieting and told herself it was a problem so she could feel eDgY.
wow what a totally not basic bitch!! look at her she exercises! and feels dizzy and knows a bunch of calorie counts! she must have an ED!!
i should've realised before now - who eats like 1500 cal a day and tells herself she's got an eating disorder? who could binge for 3 days in a row and still frequent a pro ED sub?? looks like it's me bitch
and what kind of person just \~manages\~ to slip it into conversation that she once exercised for an hr after overeating? only a girl who wants people to notice her, to actually think about her for more than a sec!!
sorry y'all - i'm just venting. i know it's totally uncool of me to do this.
[Rant/Rave] SO broke up with me. Fuck.
/u/TurnTechAstraeus
Created: Thu Nov 1 02:43:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7psm/so_broke_up_with_me_fuck/
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As the title says, I'm gutted guys. The joke is that we still love each other they just didn't want us to end up hating eachother because we had different sex drives and ways of showing affection. To be honest I think we split I asked too much of them (they denied it but I know I did, I was always asking them to mimic the relationships around us, I was selfish). I'm gutted they said if we still miss each other at some point we can see about getting back together, I'm so scared that won't happen, I miss them already.
I'm self harming so that's not good, I've been banned from alcohol but I also have no appetite, so that's good?
New Lows!
/u/edthrowaway2spooky
Created: Thu Nov 1 02:43:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7ps3/new_lows/
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Posting from a throwaway because even though I post here regularly, I can’t bring myself to admit this. Please comfort me with stories of your own lows and rock bottoms, so we can commiserate and comfort each other.
After giving myself heat stroke by deciding to jog/speed walk in a heat wave for a couple hours, I came home and literally puked on myself. As in, didn’t feel it coming, just opened my mouth and puked all down the front of my shirt and the lounge.
But wait, THERES MORE!
I then run to the toilet to finish heaving, only to LITERALLY SHIT MYSELF BECAUSE I TOOK TOO MANY LAXATIVES LAST NIGHT.
Now I’m fully aware that lax isn’t a weight loss aid, I’ve got bowel issues which is the primary reason I use them, but because I’m a fucking idiot I took too many.
At that point I gave up and had a shower because I was now covered in shit/puke/sweat.
But anorexia is a trendy lifestyle choice right?
Odds of getting prescribed Vyvanse (or similar anti-binge medicine) while underweight?
/u/-fauna [5'5 | CW: 102 | 17.0 | UGW: Maintain 95-99 ♥ | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 02:33:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7o4m/odds_of_getting_prescribed_vyvanse_or_similar/
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Probably a pointless question but I'm so tired of binging and purging. I literally cant stop and have been maintaining for 4 months as a result of it and its wrecking my body. I have an intake appointment for a psych this morning and I was wondering if anyone here had been prescribed a medicine like this to help combat b/p cycles despite being underweight.
[Other] I finally found my community with you guys
/u/lacroixguzzler
Created: Thu Nov 1 02:28:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7nda/i_finally_found_my_community_with_you_guys/
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Hi everyone!
I recently stumbled across this sub somehow on my main account, and looking through all the posts and pictures from this sub and r/EDFood, I’ve realized that I may actually have a binge-eating disorder.
I guess I never put two and two together, I always thought I just didn’t know how to control myself, and I definitely don’t.
But I can’t tell you guys how nice it is to find a community of people who not only can relate but are open to discuss the exact same things that I have gone through in my life.
So all I gotta say is, thank you. It feels so nice to not feel alone. ❤️
[Discussion] Anyone else v specific about their binge food?
/u/cattivity
Created: Thu Nov 1 01:52:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7hhe/anyone_else_v_specific_about_their_binge_food/
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Like if my binge food isnt perfect I might cry or if something gets in the way of me getting my binge food I feel so irrationally angry. I just dumped out a whole bowl of noodles because I microwaved them too much. This is probably a good thing bc I've already ate way too much but I was so disappointed I almost cried lmao
[Help] how long should i be at a certain weight before adjusting calories?
/u/isaezraa [165 cm | cw 52 | gw 48 | 16 f ]
Created: Thu Nov 1 01:50:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7h74/how_long_should_i_be_at_a_certain_weight_before/
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so rn im low restricting until im under 50kg, after that i’ll eat 1200 a day until im 48kg, then 1500 a day until 45kg, and from there 1800 a day (TDEE) hopefully forever lol (i know its going to take a long time but im ok with that)
but how do i know i *actually* weigh 50kg? does it count if its after a fast? or should i wait until its been off for 3 consecutive days? i always struggle with then whenever i start restricting again, any help would be appreciated
[rant] my therapist had a... Weird reaction
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Thu Nov 1 01:43:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7fvf/rant_my_therapist_had_a_weird_reaction/
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I did really good in therapy today, I talked to him about a lot of stuff I've needed too for a while, and I'm glad I could get it out there.
He asked me what my ideal self is.
I told him a few normal things, and that I wanted to be 112lbs (I'm 5'7", so that's only a 17.5 BMI, which I also said). He began by telling me that I was skinnier than anyone else he's seeing, and if anything I am "too skinny" already as is (21 BMI and carry my weight HORRIBLY so I'm calling bullshit there), then he told me that I should try to lose weight in a healthy way if I really wanted to get there...
I just... I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that. I don't know what to do with that.
[Other] Some Hilarious ED Stupidity
/u/Work_In_Regress [5'6"| Don't ask don't tell | GW: 120| UGW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 01:42:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7frx/some_hilarious_ed_stupidity/
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So I've been restricting for quite some time now - under 1000kcal for about 10 days, most of those are under 500kcal. I have an important day coming up tomorrow and I've been feeling a bit weak despite taking my vitamins, so I figured I'd bite the bullet, try to be normal for once and have a "cheat" meal of sorts that would give me the energy to go out and do what I need to do tomorrow.
So I start looking around pinterest for things like "300 calorie cheat meal" and "400 calorie cheat meal." I was scrolling through the ideas, not finding anything in particular that I liked. My bf comes in the room, peers over my shoulder and gives me a perplexed look.
bf: What are you doing?
me: Looking for some cheat meals that are under 400 calories. Haven't found anything I like yet.
bf: \* staring at me confused \*
me: What?
bf: Doesn't counting the calories kind of ruin the entire point of a cheat meal? Aren't you supposed to not count them at all and eat whatever you want?
me: ...Hm, well now that you put it that way, putting a calorie limit seems kinda stupid.
bf: Yes it does.
...I still am putting a calorie limit
[Help] Need fast results
/u/existing--
Created: Thu Nov 1 01:34:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7e92/need_fast_results/
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I’ve been failing hard. I hate my body more than I ever have. And it’s so hard to get back to where I was because I look in the mirror and think “why bother”
I need some drastic difference really fast to feel like I can get back into the swing of things. I just need to do something. I think I’m going to fast until I’ve lost at least 5 kilos... I don’t know. I just hate everything. I hate me.
Is fasting the best way to drop fast weight? I’d like to exercise but until I’ve lost some weight I can’t even fit into my workout clothes. I don’t know what to do
I'm so angry
/u/WrySmile122 [165cm | cw: 72kg | sw: 107kg | gw: 55kg | female]
Created: Thu Nov 1 01:26:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t7cx5/im_so_angry/
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Today I was supposed to weigh in and start my fast but my scale won't connect to my phone on Bluetooth and I have no clue as to why. I got up extra early so I'd be awake before everyone else to be able to do this and now (of course!) I'm thirty but I don't want to drink anything yet in case I fix the damn scale and my body comp numbers will be off.
I'm plateauing and god it feels so awful
/u/wristsPlz [F 5'11" | CW:137.5lbs | GW: 125lbs | BMI: 19.2]
Created: Thu Nov 1 00:57:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t77wt/im_plateauing_and_god_it_feels_so_awful/
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It's only been a few days but I've been losing a lot of water weight recently so have woken up to differences of nearly a fucking kilogram some mornings. But for the last few days no change, not even 100 grams. It feels so bad. I want to restrict more. But trying not to let myself because I'm already bordering between healthy and unhealthy restriction. But maybe I just should.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
[Rant/Rave] Double standards
/u/heyimbored_
Created: Thu Nov 1 00:54:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t77er/double_standards/
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Mum: You can’t skip dinner too, you’ve already skipped breakfast and lunch
Mum:Omg have you gained weight? You looked so great! (Stops my anxiety medication, restricts my food and sends me so several toxic ‘weightloss’ programs, known for causing eds)
Mum:C’mon, you haven’t eaten all day!
Mum: Oh wow, you lost over 2 kilos in a week, that’s great. I’ve been noticing you’ve been eating less.
Will people just make up their mind what they want from me?!
Sleeping pills don’t push you past the hunger :(
/u/deanhipchester [5' | lmao | 21F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 00:41:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t751h/sleeping_pills_dont_push_you_past_the_hunger/
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I’ve been trying them all week but I still can’t fall asleep with the hunger pangs, even with the prescribed ones.
Sorry if this makes no sense, I’m just a little (a lot*) drunk still
[Rant/Rave] fuck my friend who works at panera
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 1 00:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t735w/fuck_my_friend_who_works_at_panera/
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my best friend’s roommate (one of our close friends) works at panera and brings home giant bags of bread and pastries and whenever i come there i just end up bingeing on bread and high calorie pastries and i want to fucking die bc i can’t purge it. i hate that my friends house isn’t safe anymore and i hate how disgustingly fat i am!!! wow i’m the grossest!! everyone makes jokes about how i’m always by the food and it makes :) me :) want :) to :) kill :) myself :) happy halloween i’m eating thousands of calories of bread as i type this!! :)
why do you think eating disorders have such a stigma?
/u/101_honey [🐝5'1.5" / cw: fucking huge / gw: 101]
Created: Wed Oct 31 23:51:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6vjt/why_do_you_think_eating_disorders_have_such_a/
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i wanted to like comment in a diff thread in a diff sub about someones body dysmorphia, like wondering if they have any disorder eating tendencies (not an eating disorder, but like. just things idk). i couldnt bring myself to comment, half because im asking them something very personal, the other half being that i know people react pretty shit to EDs and anything vaguely related to them. and now, im just kinda thinking about it. why are EDs so stigmatized? compared to other mental illnesses what the fuck is soooo ick about us?
what do you think?
[Discussion] the isolation part of ED
/u/harperNovaStrom
Created: Wed Oct 31 23:45:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6uk2/the_isolation_part_of_ed/
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i know we are all feeling isolated lately maybe because of technology or economic issues
but DAE feel like having an ed makes it so much worse ?
[Other] I don't just want to look good
/u/cattivity
Created: Wed Oct 31 23:41:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6try/i_dont_just_want_to_look_good/
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Don't get me wrong, that's a huge part of it.
I also want to be the physical manifestation of my own perfect self discipline. I feel like denying my primal self of what it wants is so admirable. I want my body to be a reflection of that. I also feel like I'm more intellectually focused when I don't eat. Like I have more energy to put towards intellectual pursuits rather than food.
[Other] Has this been posted here yet?
/u/Doctordoomduck
Created: Wed Oct 31 23:27:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6r1i/has_this_been_posted_here_yet/
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https://i.redd.it/rzfuh3pqvlv11.jpg
[Discussion] What's the longest you've gone restricting?
/u/cattivity
Created: Wed Oct 31 23:18:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6p8o/whats_the_longest_youve_gone_restricting/
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Whats the longest streak you've kept of restricting? Like 600-800 cals
I went two months restricting to 800 without breaking and that's the longest I have done.
[Help] .....The rantings of a 1am lo mein binge
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 133.2 | -48 lbs | F22]
Created: Wed Oct 31 23:06:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6mp1/the_rantings_of_a_1am_lo_mein_binge/
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I just inhaled almost an entire pint of vegetable lo mein. I hate that I can’t not eat forever. I hate that my brain SCREAMS at me to eat food. I usually restrict to like 800 cals a day, but this past weekend I didn’t eat for 4 days. So of course, now my body can’t just go back to 800.
I feel like a fat fuck right now. I’m so bloated. But my brain wanted it so, I hope it’s fucking happy. Because I sure as shit am NOT happy.
Now for the fun part, how many calories would you say are in 3/4 of a pint of Chinese take out vegetable lo mein...? I’m finding answers from like 390 to 800. If it’s 800 I’ll literally go off myself lmfao. Like I’ll cry all night. FUCK. guys, fuck EDs.
being skinny fat is literally a curse from hell
/u/ethioqueen [5'9" | CW: 140 | GW: 125 | 18F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 23:00:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6la6/being_skinny_fat_is_literally_a_curse_from_hell/
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i noticed i actually have a thigh gap now, i love the size of my arms and legs and boobs but seeing my backfat and stomach and muffin top makes me want to actually die. whyyyyy the fuck am i built like this holy shit. someone pls give me tips on how to not be skinnyfat anymore because everytime i look in the mirror i just want to keep binging and purging
[Tip] Sweet baby Jesus, I've just discovered my ultimate safe food/drink!
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:56:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6kjx/sweet_baby_jesus_ive_just_discovered_my_ultimate/
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HOME-MADE FRAPPES.
​
I've always loved unsweetened coffee or matcha frappuccinos from Starbucks, but I've never 100% trusted the calories. How come it took me this long to think of making them myself?
​
All I do is blend a cup of ice, about a cup of unsweetened almond milk (like 30 calories), and then add flavour. Either a shot of espresso or a tablespoon of matcha powder. I don't use sweetener, but I imagine a sugar-free syrup would be nice. It's honestly like the real thing, I'm so happy.
​
This is legit gonna save me. Iced drinks always suppress my appetite and keep my occupied for a while, plus, they feel like a treat even if there is no sugar in them. These beauties are like 30 calorie bits of heaven. It's also coming up to summer where I am, so this is just so perfect :') Now excuse me, I'm gonna go cry unsweetened tears of happiness and watch Sabrina.
[Other] I’m glad McDonald’s is 24/7
/u/ThatzShynee [5’7| CW:205 | WL:42 | M]
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:44:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6hu5/im_glad_mcdonalds_is_247/
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I’m so glad they close at 12. There’s a glitch on the McDonald’s app rn where you literally can get all types of stuff free. 19 free items, you only have to buy one thing. I definitely would have went if they didn’t close at 12 (saw it about 11:45)
The lower I go the lower I feel
/u/whatxever [5'2 | 115 | 21.1 | -34 | 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:43:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6hqy/the_lower_i_go_the_lower_i_feel/
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...not exactly. I felt the same 20 pounds ago - aka fucking unbearably disgusting and constantly suicidal over my appearance (particularly my body) - but it's almost as if the closer I get to my goal/the farther I get from a bigger version of myself...the harder it is to not be "perfect" ? Like being close (well, comparatively) is just so unfair? It used to be impossible but now it's totally possible and every second I'm not there already I'm dying trying to be?
~~also sidenote I hate being short and having my body type or composition or whatever because I know people my height and weight (5'2 and 115 lbs) who look incredible or at least much better than I do and I'm still literally Patrick Star and I want to scream bc this means being 105 probably isn't even that much better I'm going to have to be 70 pounds to be okay with myself fuck~~
[Rant/Rave] Plateau
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:30:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6er0/plateau/
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Feel like I can’t get myself to eat less than 1000cal. I am at my lowest weight but I know I can get smaller. I want to be so dainty. I’m not eating tomorrow. I’m telling you this so hopefully I can be held accountable. I just don’t want food every time I eat I feel worse than how I felt when I was hungry so why do I do it. I bought a bunch of ed foods today so hopefully that will help me. I just want to lose 20lbs I know I can do it. I’ve done it before. I just need to be strict.
[Other] i had too much sugar, got hungry and confused and ate a bag of shredded cheese
/u/fatass_1 [5'0 | 🐋 | 21 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:26:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6dxz/i_had_too_much_sugar_got_hungry_and_confused_and/
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fuck
What is your skin care routine?
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: 109 lbs| GW: Maintain don't gain|26f]
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:20:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6cm0/what_is_your_skin_care_routine/
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I have combination skin, so I get breakouts and pimples on my nose and chin, but I also get dry skin and I'm getting wrinkles too! I think my ed is damaging my skin. Anyone have tips about how to deal with this?
I wash my face with micellar water and moisturize twice a day, and I take iron and my multi-vitamin has biotin in it.
[Help] Puffy b/p face
/u/thekroganrebellions
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:11:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6aqi/puffy_bp_face/
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So I usually just restrict but lately I've been stuck in one my first true b/p cycles. Today I noticed that my cheeks are getting pretty puffy. If I break this b/p cycle, how long will it take for my face to go back to normal? Does drinking more water help at all? At this point, I'm more afraid of this than of gaining weight.
[Help] Can someone tell me what this is? The dent she has in her sides that aren’t her ribs, I am starting to get that too. Wtf is this?
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 22:09:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t6a9t/can_someone_tell_me_what_this_is_the_dent_she_has/
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https://i.redd.it/l1rw8zmn9nv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Not Eating Any Halloween Candy For Once
/u/gothcherrie [5’2 | CW : 131 | GW : 88 | BMI : 23 | 13F ]
Created: Wed Oct 31 21:59:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t67pm/not_eating_any_halloween_candy_for_once/
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So...I’m young. At the age where adults still consider me a child, but they expect me grow up at a fast pace. Last year I was trick or treating but still got told “aren’t you a little too old” and “you’re not that young right? you’re lying”. In their defense, I dressed kinda slutty.
Last year, I only went for my friend. We’re the same age, but have a ten month gap. In fact, I gave her all my candy because my ED was in full speed. But I still ate SOME candy out of guilt.
This year, I’m too old to trick or treat, and too young to go to parties. I didn’t go over to a friend’s house. You know what that means! Restricting into oblivion! Which honestly doesn’t bother me. A while ago I lost my sweet tooth. Mainly because the amount of calories in candy make me want to gag. So I’ll just stick with my Juicy Fruit gum the rest of the night.
[Rant/Rave] Pasta
/u/Whisperingoceanwaves
Created: Wed Oct 31 21:58:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t67iq/pasta/
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I'm supposed to be high restricting today (1200 cals) and my mom just cooked pasta for lunch: with heavy cream, beef, and cheese. It looks so good but fuck I'm so scared to eat it because I can't tell how many calories there are. 😢 I don't know if I should eat it or not, but I have to so my mom won't think I have a problem anymore. This will probably result in a binge because of my all or nothing mindset. Ugh I hate this if only I could stop binging every weekend so that I won't have to compensate for it anymore, I can't stand to gain any more weight 😧
Does anyone have any introductory material for loved ones?
/u/schizodepressive2
Created: Wed Oct 31 21:35:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t61up/does_anyone_have_any_introductory_material_for/
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Recently I told my fiance that I have an ED (I heavily restrict and often purge). He's trying to be supportive, but he has no idea what's going on. Does anyone know of any resources for loved ones of people who have EDs? I suck at putting my feelings into words, so I can't describe to him why I'm starving myself. Any help would be great!
My ED ruined my education and probably my entire future
/u/Firebug__
Created: Wed Oct 31 21:31:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t612h/my_ed_ruined_my_education_and_probably_my_entire/
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Just a little rant about how hopeless I am.
Depression & ED hit me at 11. I started skipping school in the 5th grade but still went 2-3 days out of 5 for the 5th & 6th grade.
High school starts, I still get into the high achiever program though. I continue this pattern. 2nd month of the school year I’m hospitalised (12 yrs old) and go into “recovery” where I regained everything to the point I was fat again.
Pre ED: 57-60kg (~130lbs) at 12 years old and 5”4. Admitted at 50kg, discharged 51kg (still fat) regained to 58kg.
After that (year 8) I lost it, and lost some more. I didn’t go to school ONCE for year 8, 9, 10.
3 years of 15 admissions, weight stayed the same at 40-45kg (88-100lbs) at 5”6 for the entire time. Osteoporosis, shorter than what I should be (tall family) no period, stopped puberty (my boobs r like a 10y/os) and no friends.
Last year, year 11. Went to school or 6 months. Got to a muscular 48kg. Got all A’s. Made some friends, had a job, lost my virginity, started drinking and smoking, great time.
Mid year we moved. Hospitalised another 8 times over the summer (northern hemispheres winter lol) I haven’t been at school since. Now I’m 18 and everyone just graduated. Everyone’s out drinking and clubbing and wearing dresses that you need boobs for. Everyone’s done. Everyone’s found their friends. Everyone’s headed to uni next year.
I feel so alone and stupid and disgusting. I have nothing, no one. I wish I was taken off my mum at 15. I hate to blame but she literally just let me do this to myself. At 11,12,13,14.... I just wish someone forced me to go to school. Forced my recovery. Locked me up and got me fat so I could’ve lived normally at 16,17,18...
I want to die
[Help] Help
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 54kg | 18.5 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 21:26:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5zpb/help/
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The past few days have been awful due to constant binging/purging. I’ve put on weight and my throat is on fire.
I REALLY am in need of someone, anyone to talk to when I feel like binging. Not even full on conversations, just support. Are there any chats I can join or people to text?
Thank you guys, you have always been an amazing community. <3
[Help] Validation
/u/landfill7707 [5'3| 101 | 17.9| 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 21:26:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5zp4/validation/
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Can someone tell me it’s okay to actually eat tonight because I’ve been so fucking neurotic this whole week and I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m not lightheaded but if I eat without saying anything to anyone I’m going to feel guilty and purge and just restart this whole cycle
Research study: what do you wish your therapists knew?
/u/iwantmytearsback
Created: Wed Oct 31 21:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5wjc/research_study_what_do_you_wish_your_therapists/
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Hi everyone! I actually shared this study idea a while ago (5 months back?) under a different username (which has since been deleted for privacy reasons). Some of you may have already filled it out. Either way, the good news is that I now have university funding to study what I believe is a super important topic: **How can we make eating disorder treatment better?**
My focus is specifically on addressing cultural background in treatment. For example, how did/does your family influence your eating disorder? How is your identity - both given and chosen - acknowledged and given empowerment in treatment (or not)?
If you have the time, please consider filling out my survey :) If you want, there's even a spot at the end to share your reddit username and/or email address for a drawing for a one of three $50 Amazon gift cards!
https://goo.gl/forms/eNOCXYErwivc6e9S2
(Mods: I know this account is new. I usually post here under another username but would prefer not to link the two for privacy reasons. I am happy to PM anyone who needs verification that I am actually a member of this sub.)
A shitty situation 💩💩💩
/u/hopelessly--hopeful [5'4" | puts whales to shame| F| 23]
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:51:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5r1s/a_shitty_situation/
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TMI: so I drank 32 ounces of a peach mango juice to try to avoid a movie marathon junk food binge and good lord I am shitting my brains out. No farts can be trusted. Next time I need a colon cleanse I'll definitely chug this stuff. RIP to the pack of toilet paper I just bought.
[Rant/Rave] im terrified of help
/u/likrot
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5plw/im_terrified_of_help/
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back when my only issue was depression, all i wanted was someone to prescribe me medication to take the heavy feeling away. but now that i have this god damn ED, im terrified of being forced to eat or even being admitted into a hospital. i dont want to eat. i dont wanna gain weight again. this is the only way. i dont want anyone to meddle.
[Discussion] How long without eating do you get health problems?
/u/keep_it_poppin
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:38:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5nqs/how_long_without_eating_do_you_get_health_problems/
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Or restricting. They say not eating is dangerous but like.. there are so many underweight people alive. It must take years or something to develop a serious health problem?
[Help] I need advice on dealing with body dysmorphia.
/u/SalehRobbins [5'1| F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:32:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5m4s/i_need_advice_on_dealing_with_body_dysmorphia/
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As the title says, I need advice. I need a different, healthier way to cope.
I’m just tired
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:30:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5lf2/im_just_tired/
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I’m tired of being so miserable all the time, of starving for 2 days to come home and I do all my progress with yet another 3k-4K binge
I’m tired of fluctuating between 116 and 122 and never dipping out of the BMI 19s
I’m tired of spending my whole life on a “goal” and then self sabotaging when I’m feeling weak
If I’m putting this much effort into this I’m going to be skinny
I WILL stop bingeing
No binge November
I can do it
Who else...
/u/letthebitchdie [5'2 | CW: 99.8 | GW: 🍃 | BMI: 18.53 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:22:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5jhr/who_else/
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... fasted all day just so they could steal select pieces of their kid's Halloween candy?
Cause I did.
Strawberry laffy taffies are the best. ❤🍓🍬
Love you guys. I hope all of you are having a great Halloween. 🤗❤
[Rant/Rave] Warning: crazy rant i just need to get it out
/u/problemproblem420
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:14:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5h94/warning_crazy_rant_i_just_need_to_get_it_out/
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i literally starved to the point where i gave myself BED??? like have been non stop binging 3000 calories probably every single day for the past 2 weeks. i have no doubt gained 20 pounds (need to update flair but so afraid to step on the scale). not like water weight 20 pounds but ACTUAL 20 pounds because the math seems to make sense in my head
​
i have never been a binge eater before, do i have BED now?!?! like i literally can't control it. i have always HATED my anorexic tendencies and wished i could eat more and have a bigger appetite but this is so bad. i tried eating normal portions but l just ended up animallistically shoving everything into my mouth with no control whatsoever. i think i need to go back to complete starvation to balance myself. tomorrow will be a black coffee + bronkaid day. and the next day, and the next day, and then i will repeat until i feel like im going to die. i refuse to become a binge eater AND an anorexic AND a bulimic. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck fuck fuck FUCK//af/./f/.d fuck
​
i see my boyfriend in 3 weeks exactly and so if i do well i can hopefully get to where i was before this happened ???? plz give me hope
When people say “I’m starving”
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:05:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5er0/when_people_say_im_starving/
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Bish you don’t even kNoW
[Discussion] Getting away with trick or treating?
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 20:03:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5eae/getting_away_with_trick_or_treating/
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Okay, so I have a baby face and I'm very short. I get mistaken for a middle schooler a lot, and now I'm wondering if I might be able to get away with trick or treating...
If I lose a little more weight, and dress kid-like, I could probably present myself as 12 or 13, and if I went to an upscale neighborhood, I'm wondering if I could cash in on the free candy.
I'm 20 (need to update my flair), so does this make me a sucky person? Thoughts?
[Discussion] DAE fantasize about regular healthy food
/u/icthaine [🌾 5'8" | CW 146.5 | -20.5 | 23M]
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:58:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5cuo/dae_fantasize_about_regular_healthy_food/
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Specifically: Not junk food, but relatively healthful recipes with things like reasonable amounts of cheese or grains? And using 'healthy' in the vague, general, non-disordered sense. Since I don't eat much more than the versatile but lame pantheon of egg whites and vegetables and stupid desserts I save calories for, so I find myself daydreaming about exotic shit like... Burrito bowls. With beans, grilled chicken, light sour cream, and a sprinkling of pepperjack. Not even a tortilla. I just miss chicken and sour cream.
I daydream about the shit they post on r/1200isplenty, where it's low calorie (for healthy folks), well-rounded, and still works to a deficit. It's just too high for my current restriction.
Anyone else get the 'higher-calorie healthy food' pangs?
[Rant/Rave] Nothing says Halloween like binging on ungodly amounts of junk food
/u/hamaesa [5'5|cw 105|gw 97|lw 87|F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:49:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t5ah4/nothing_says_halloween_like_binging_on_ungodly/
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While others my age are out partying, I'm here at home, no friends, eating until my stomach hurts. I don't know how to purge, I've never been able to. I'm such a loser. I'm fat and my skin looks like shit. I haven't had my meds in three days so I'm unstable as hell. Happy Halloween, everyone!
How do I starve myself or restrict a lot of calories if I am obese? I don't want to keep slipping up and I'm just tired of looming disgusting
/u/enemmy
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:46:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t59kl/how_do_i_starve_myself_or_restrict_a_lot_of/
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[Discussion] self-sabotage or nah
/u/angelic-rose [🌹 19F | 5’6 | 119.2 | 19.21 | GW2 115]
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:41:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t583y/selfsabotage_or_nah/
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Fuck it...tomorrow after class I’m gonna drive to the store and buy a bunch of clearance Halloween candy.
But.
I’m not gonna binge on it. I’m gonna let myself eat at it slowly, have one or two pieces a day. I used to do this when I was a kid, make candy from Halloween last until Easter or even longer.
I guess this is going to be a test of sorts. Let’s hope I don’t fuck it up.
Anyway, what candy are y’all craving rn?
[Discussion] The worst thing your drunk ED self has done?
/u/Samazing12
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:32:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t55ll/the_worst_thing_your_drunk_ed_self_has_done/
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I still get flashbacks to something that happened two years ago. I fasted for 3 days (even on the days I was eating it was all saltines and bell peppers) and decided to go to trivia night at the bar to celebrate. I had 2 large beers and then stumbled home to where I lived with 4 other people (I don't remember getting home). I then proceeded to attempt to make spaghetti... Using barely any water so it burnt to the bottom of the pot. I got inpatient and scarfed down food I found on the oven that was cooling. Apparently my roommates were making soup and had cooked sweet potato... Which I ate all of. Then I proceeded to puke it up and collapse in bed.
Aaaaaand I barely remember any of this.... Most of it I found out when my roommates bitched me out. All I remember is hunching over the cooking sheet like a wild animal and shoving fistfuls of sweet potatoes in my mouth... Which honestly probably looked like an overly dramatic binge sequence from an ED movie.
The best part was my roommates lectured me on my drinking habits in the morning and accused me of being a irresponsible alcoholic. I broke down and mentioned something along the lines about it being more about how little I ate and less about how much I drank. This 'intervention' was lead by my roommate (WHO ALSO HAD AN ED) who responded with, "Nope, that's not it. Stop making excuses. You just don't know when to quit drinking." Like okay, Kelly, here's some money for the food I ate... Don't talk to me again thnx.
I just wanted to do a Google survey and this is how they attack me.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:106.2 | bmi: 18.8 | wl: -7.2 | F | 24]
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:31:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t553r/i_just_wanted_to_do_a_google_survey_and_this_is/
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https://i.imgur.com/Y9qcfXp.png
[Help] I havent eaten today...
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:28:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t54cw/i_havent_eaten_today/
---
Omg I'm scared... I'm 13 ive never not eaten for a whole day... (I do OMAD) my head is killing me. I have 4 test tommorow! How am I gonna focus? I dont have time for breakfast.... And I skip lunch... Ugh i hope my mom will let me stay home...
[Discussion] Moving in with SO
/u/BadAsh3403 [5'4" | 106 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:28:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t54cf/moving_in_with_so/
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I’ve had an ED since age 24ish and I’ve lived alone since age 22, which allowed me to do all the weird food stuff I do-weighing, prepping, OMAD, etc. I’m moving in with my boyfriend in a week. He’s known about my ED but has no idea I still do anything “weird” — I’m freaking out. Would anyone share stories? Not looking for advice, just anecdotes to know I’m not alone and that some of you have survived this.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like I have a time limit on restriction
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 115 lb| BMI 18.6 | 26F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:20:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t521b/i_feel_like_i_have_a_time_limit_on_restriction/
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I relapsed pretty hard in April and I've lose a bit over 30 lbs since then. I'm still not at my lowest weight and I'm determined to keep losing but this week I've been desperate to binge. In the past, I think I hit this same wall after 6-8 months and binged until I blew up past my starting weight. Yesterday I caved and b/p'ed. Today I want to binge so badly but I'm letting myself drink instead (because that's better??) I was just starting to plan tomorrow's intake when I considered eating a breakfast burrito (700) and then my planned lunch at work (215) then running (-315-320) and that's it. I've been craving a breakfast burrito for weeks and maybe it will help decrease some of these urges? But honestly I feel like if I bought a breakfast burrito to eat, I would be too anxious to eat it and it would be a waste of money.
I hate that I've become actually afraid of food. I hate that I feel like I am completely out of control now. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified of eating because I don't want to gain everything back. But I'm so tired of worrying about this nonsense. I'm so tired of living like this. I don't know how to stop. I'm just tired.
On the BED strugglebus.
/u/oldesoul96 [32F | 5'4" | HW 270 lbs| CW 156 | BMI 26.8]
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:16:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t50xc/on_the_bed_strugglebus/
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I have been battling with BED for longer than I even knew it was a thing. I have come down from my highest weight of 270 pounds (5'4" female) to 160ish. I want to keep losing. I want to be at a healthy weight for my height. And I am so close and I have done so well. But lately the motivation is just gone. I managed to binge less than a handful of times in over a year, I thought I really had it beat.
Then I discover my husband has a secret Reddit account that he uses for viewing porn... which hurts. And what's worse is that it's porn of chubby girls with big boobs. Chubby I still am, but my boobs are gone, and will probably disappear even more if I try to reach my goal weight.
I am now conflicted. Do I strive for my goal of health or just stop here in fear that my husband will lose his attraction to me? He claims he loves me no matter what weight and he's happier that I am healthier and will live longer/be with him longer... but I feel like that has to be bullshit if he'd rather look at porn.
It's killing me a little to put this all down, thanks for listening.
[Discussion] Anyone else wait until the last minute to try on your Halloween costume
/u/fxngoria
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:16:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t50tb/anyone_else_wait_until_the_last_minute_to_try_on/
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and then completely hate how you look in it so you just get back into your pj’s for a movie night instead? 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Already hiding in the bathroom
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Wed Oct 31 19:05:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4xzd/already_hiding_in_the_bathroom/
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It's so fucking annoying to be around other people who are attractive. When your just not. When your SO is basically always looking at them and not you when they're around. I'm so over being a fat bitch. I'm so over the holidays. I gained back two lbs in four days. Probably going to gain another after I stuff my fat face with candy. Fuck the holidays. Fuck this family. My mood shifted instantly when I saw I'm the only one wearing normal clothes long sleeve and jeans. While your wearing the cutest fucking outfit just so we can take our KIDS trick or treating. I wouldn't even be here if I wasn't a mother. Fuck man fuck my insecurities for making me hate you.
Why does feeling empty feel so good?
/u/OtherEgg2018 [5.5" |HW 227 lbs|CW:153.6 lbs|GW: 120 lbs| 23F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:54:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4us0/why_does_feeling_empty_feel_so_good/
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This is my throwaway for obvious reasons. I always feel so good and proud of myself when I look in the mirror when I havent eaten alot. But then I throw it away on candy. I can't stop myself sometimes. How do yall avoid treats? (Aside from not keeping them in the house)
[Help] I’m exhausted, but I’m scared to sleep because I’m terrified that I’ll wake up and just go right back to eating a lot
/u/thecrayonmastermind
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:28:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4n7c/im_exhausted_but_im_scared_to_sleep_because_im/
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It’s been four amazing days of a shitload of caffeine and eating only what I really wanted to. I’m in fucking control for once in my goddamn motherfucking life! Yes! Bulimia doesn’t get to tell me to eat a whole cake right now! I get to starve myself and everything about it feels so fucking amazing. I can’t go back. I’m so scared of going back. But god damn it, I need sleep or I’ll probably pass the fuck out somewhere. Somehow, me being tired makes me want to eat less, which is... not quite right, I don’t think. Whatever, that’s not the point.
What if I wake up and I go back to normal bingeing behavior again? Is that a likely possibility? Does anyone have any ideas to combat that if it does happen?
Anyone in """"recovery""""?
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:27:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4n03/anyone_in_recovery/
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Where you eat seriously normally and maintain a low healthy bmi of like 19-20.5 until you see your weight get just a lil too high and then you restrict until it goes back down and end up binging and or purging or overexercising because you secretly don't have a good relationship with food at all and you tell people you're just naturally skinny which you kind of are because before your ED you naturally just had a small appetite but now you associate food with emotions but no everything is fine hahaha
[Discussion] Anyone else compulsively shop/shoplift?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:25:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4mfy/anyone_else_compulsively_shopshoplift/
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It feels like a similar impulse to my bingeing. I can't explain why but it feels the same when I compulsively shoplift or spend all my money on junk in a short time.
[Tip] How I’m losing weight this pay period
/u/ReinaDeHielo [5'|CW:99.6|GW:90|]
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:25:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4mdf/how_im_losing_weight_this_pay_period/
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https://i.redd.it/ukke94kl5mv11.jpg
[Other] Oh shit-
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:20:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4ktn/oh_shit/
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https://i.redd.it/rtyn9z7n4mv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Told my friends about my ED, now they’re “self-diagnosing”
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 109 | 17.1 | 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:19:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4knh/told_my_friends_about_my_ed_now_theyre/
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I want to start off by saying I in no way am trying to minimize anyone’s problems, but I know my friends, we’ve talked extensively about what they think their issues are, and I’m just really annoyed.
I recently decided I want to tell some friends back home about my anorexia. They’re trying to be supportive but it’s just making me mad. I told one friend and she says “Oh you can talk to X about it, she knows what that’s like” (X is my best friend and she is absolutely NOT anorexic; she worried about her weight in high school and skipped like 3 meals, then started eating healthy and exercising and has no worries. That’s it end of story).
The one that really bugged me though was when I told my one friend. The conversation basically went:
Me: [something something something I have anorexia]
Him: No way I think I have it too
Me: really?
Him: yeah, I’ve lost like 10 pounds because I’m so stressed at work
Me: wait but have you actually intentionally lost weight?
Him: no
Me: that doesn’t sound like anorexia but stress can cause so many issues, I’m sorry about that (I know that last line sounds made up to make me sound like a rational hero but it is ver batim; I didn’t want to sound like an asshole when I said “that’s not anorexia” so I overcompensated with the stress stuff)
Him: wow so helpful 😂😂
Like thanks dude but you were the one wanting ME to open up to you
Sorry that was SO incredibly long but I want to know if you guys can relate
[Discussion] anyone else halloween bingeing
/u/httpram
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:07:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4gsw/anyone_else_halloween_bingeing/
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pls say yes
hurting girl aesthetic
/u/coldbrewkweeen [5'8 | CW: 122 | UGW: 115 | SW: 140 | 26F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:06:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4ghr/hurting_girl_aesthetic/
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Someone recently created a post where we discussed the fabulous drunkorexic trope. In one of the comments, the "hurting girl aesthetic" was mentioned and I'm really curious to see how many references you guys know about because I connect with this on such a powerful level. Love Camille in Sharp Objects, I've read Wasted like 7x, and addiction memoirs are my favorite thing ever. Like don't tell me how to fix my life, tell me about how you struggled and how you have empathy for my situation.
So what are your favorite depictions of hurting girl aesthetic? I need books, movies, shows, everything. ED, depression, addiction, anything goes. Every time I see this I feel a little less crazy and alone.
sometimes i remember i'm hungry
/u/Awassya
Created: Wed Oct 31 18:02:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4fmc/sometimes_i_remember_im_hungry/
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...and I fuck up. Massively. I've been eating so much non fucking stop and I can't get a hold of myself. It all started about a week ago. I looked at the scale and realized I was 2kg away from one of my goal weights. I could fit into a dress I haven't been able to fit into in a literal year.
I was so ecstatic I chose to treat myself with a proper meal, as I've been alternating my days with fasting and OMAD.
I regret everything. I'm still riding this bingefest and currently texting y'all from the dorm bathroom trying to will myself not to purge my last binge: three clementines, a plate of pepper and egg fry up, a piece of bread, a cup of yoghurt, a smear of ketchup, a pack of cookies, three mugs of tea, a Vitanova bar, a 0.5l Fanta, a packet of Wai Wai noodles and almost a full pack of strudels.
I'm crying and really upset and I don't know what to do. Weigh-ins are on weekends due to there being no scale in my dorm, and I don't want to go home this weekend because I know I'll check it and be even more upset. Fuck.
Getting back... (PTW)
/u/libismanaged
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4edi/getting_back_ptw/
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I’ve started to get back into the control. In the past few months I’ve managed to lose ~17lbs after gaining over 30 from college/binge drinking/undiagnosed bipolar.
I recently got a scale again to check my body fat% and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I’ve been trying to get in the typical 10,000 steps a day which isn’t hard the days I serve.
I’ve been trying to only eat one actual meal a day and a snack or two if I am actually working so I can actual function.
I missed this control, and the medication I’m on has actually lowered my appetite significantly. This was such a random ramble. Sorry
[Other] I never realised how open some people are about there ED
/u/peachiefaerie
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:57:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4dzt/i_never_realised_how_open_some_people_are_about/
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I have a friend who also has an ED and we often joke about starving ourselves and wanting to die that kind of thing as a coping mechanism so we're very open about it to each other
but the other day she started eating cake in class and my teacher asked why she was eating cake before morning tea and friends just said 'because I havent eaten in 2 days' and I was so taken back like I never admit to people (except her) how much I havent eaten
my teacher then asked 'you want to be skinny?’ (she deaf and tends to be very blunt, it's just a part of deaf culture) but my friend just replied yeah and grabbed her gut like ??? how can you be so open?!?!
[Other] So, I’m not where I want to be with my weight loss, but I never realized the difference 25lbs has made on my shape. Left is from 10 months ago at 157lbs, right is today at 132lbs.
/u/brokenchalkboard [5'1 | CW: 132.8| BMI: 25.13 | Weight Lost: 27lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:50:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4bz4/so_im_not_where_i_want_to_be_with_my_weight_loss/
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https://i.redd.it/jlu1ampbzlv11.jpg
No one knows me.
/u/socialjusticeporn
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:45:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t4aib/no_one_knows_me/
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Fuck I dont even know me at all, feels like I'm just a bunch of symptoms rather than an actual person.
First Week & Happiness with EDs
/u/its_scorpio_season
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:36:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t480b/first_week_happiness_with_eds/
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Like many of you here, EDs have been a bit of a lifelong thing for me--sometimes consuming, sometimes beneficial. In the past I b/p-ed, restricted, a combination. I've been as heavy as 170 (in large part due to depression medication) and as low as 114 (in hs, when I had the most anorexic tendencies I've ever had.) Just wanted to mention this first bc saying "first week here" is likely going to get some people to say turn back, and I just wanted to say I've been here.
Anyway, feelings about my first week back in a community like this:
First of all, I lost 2.4 lbs this week. I also went to a group fitness class for *literally the first time ever* and loved it so much I bought a month subscription for November. It feels so good to move my body for in what feels like ages. I got a little teary-eyed after my first class, because it feels like I'm doing something great for my body.
I love counting calories and keeping track of them. One of the things that brought me out of my deep depression in 2017 was journaling every day, making lists, setting everyday goals and accomplishing them, even if they were incredibly small.
I often obsess, about various different things, and I enjoy it. And I think that's what this post comes down to. 2018 has been the best year of my life. And I'd like to incorporate this part of my brain, the fun in it's obsession part, into the rest of the year and into 2019. And I want to be happy about my weight loss, interested in trying new things, and also healthy enough that I can function well and push hard in my fitness classes.
I want to share that I am a happy person with a mishmash of eating disorders and actual wellness. I love the lighter feeling, of not eating mindlessly, of getting in touch with this weird suit of meat that carries my brain around. Sometimes I eat 1,200 calories, and sometimes I eat less, because that's what I want to do--I want to feel how my body feels when I do that, and see how my body changes. And I don't think that because I am disordered I should have to be sad, and I especially don't think I should have to be alone. If this is my mind, this is my diet, these are my habits, why should I keep them to myself?
Maybe in 6 months I'll be rolling my eyes at my past self, but I've been, *you know, like, through stuff*. And what I've learned from insomnia, depression, abuse, and Donald Trump (okay, that last one was just a bit of dark humor..) is that I feel so much better when I don't lie to myself about how I think or feel, or tell myself that I need to be fixed. I just want to be authentically myself. I really feel that's the healthiest thing.
​
[Help] I just purged at work
/u/BeautifulRebellion [5’4 | CW: 126 lbs | GW: 105]
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:33:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t471z/i_just_purged_at_work/
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Life has been so stressful and so shitty to me lately. Today was especially bad. I weighed myself this morning and I was 129... almost 10 pounds more than I was less than a month ago. PTSD and school have been a bitch to me and my irrational and mentally ill brain is convincing me my boyfriend doesn’t love me like he says he does. I went to my work (fast food) an hour early to have my free shift meal and I made sure to up the size on the fries and add extra things in my burrito. I finished it all in less than ten minutes and then went into the bathroom with a plastic knife in my hand. I’m so tired. I have to clock on in half an hour. I’m tired. I’m so tired.
[Discussion] New active job, need advice.
/u/coffeeisafood
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:19:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t42vg/new_active_job_need_advice/
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So I have pretty severe social anxiety that has prevented me from consistently being able to work the past few years. I also have manic episodes so, I blew through my savings, got myself into a ton of debt, moved across the country with nothing, and now the only job I have been offered is a lot more intense than what I’m used to...which is playing video games, measuring myself, and looking at food I will never make on Pinterest..I used to have very active jobs (serving, bartending, etc), but it’s been awhile.
I’ve struggled with anorexia for years, ‘recovered’, and being able to stay home for so long only made my disorder worse. Obsessive exercise and not having anyone to tell me to eat for 8+ hours a day? It was a dream. I want out of debt, I want to get a boob job eventually, I need to recover, etc. That’s the backstory on that. It’s a lot, I’m sorry.
I’ve just finished a few days of training as a stock person at a store. It’s great, it pays well, I work early in the morning, hardly have to talk to anyone and stock shelves for 8 hours, it’s a super active job though. Fasting in the mornings has left me light headed and hardly able to lift boxes and product. I tried to eat one morning and all I could think about was how disgusting I felt. I feel weak, my energy is low, and I’m playing with the idea of bumping up my calories but I’m terrified.
Can anyone give me any tips on how to survive this 5 days a week? Work snacks that are light on the stomach...I don’t know. Living on Diet Coke and the occasional Greek yogurt on break clearly isn’t working well. I also ate a lean cuisine the other day that was just meat and veggies, etc. Made me bloat terribly.
I just bought some Powerade Zero because I think electrolytes could be an issue...
Any advice is appreciated, I just need to survive this and get myself out of this hole. My anxiety is awful, but until I can get insurance and hopefully get the help I need-I have to try to push through this. Whether food ideas, supplements, anxiety advice...anything is appreciated.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate this sub so much. It makes me feel less alone, even though I don’t really post much. ❤️
[Rant/Rave] Happy halloween ily guys
/u/ash_alah
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t42ll/happy_halloween_ily_guys/
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Im kind of drunk and i literally have a bucket filled with puke standing in a corner in my room cuz i couldt purge in the bathroom earlier and now im sad because im rlly hungry( havent eaten since sunday without purging) and have to wait for my parents to go to sleep so i can b/p in peace lol anyway im sorry im dumb but i love this community i hope ur all enjoying halloween 💕💕
[Rant/Rave] Had a whole low cal schedule planned out today but had it ruined.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Wed Oct 31 17:14:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t41hi/had_a_whole_low_cal_schedule_planned_out_today/
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I was originally going to have peanuts for lunch and some soup when I got home. I ended up eating school lunch, a cupcake and some candy. People offered me cupcakes and other treats and I’m too nice to turn it down. I literally hate myself. I was doing so good. I think I’ll try again tomorrow.
[Discussion] DAE watch porn in a totally non-sexual way
/u/turdddburger [5’3🌻cw144🌻gw98🌻f]
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3viw/dae_watch_porn_in_a_totally_nonsexual_way/
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or is it just me? like sometime o just watch porn to admire the naked bodies, not even in a sexual way. just like a “how the fuck do you look that good naked and in all of those different positions” way lol. i feel kinda like a creep or weirdo writing it out but it is what it is ahaha
Been a month binge free. Bought a tub of ice cream yesterday.
/u/theunachievable
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:51:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3ukt/been_a_month_binge_free_bought_a_tub_of_ice_cream/
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Lost 9 pounds this month. I refused to buy any foods I'd binge on this entire month. It's sitting in my freezer. Christmas cookies flavored ice cream. Half of a gallon. Someone told me about it the other day, saying how delicious it is and how it's only around for the holidays and how it was sold out last year. I went to one store, saw it, didn't buy it. Went to store #2 saw it, bought it. I told myself I was an idiot when I picked it up, when I carried it around the store, as I was purchasing it. I realllllly want to know what it tastes like!!! But I knoooow if I have one taste I'll lose all self control. It's sitting in my freezer taunting me. I have 20 pounds to go. Why did I dooo this??? In a moment of weakness I will eat that ice cream and hate myself. It's just a matter of time...
[Discussion] What makes you binge even though you know you’re going to purge/don’t need those cals?
/u/keep_it_poppin
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:48:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3te1/what_makes_you_binge_even_though_you_know_youre/
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For me it’s boredom/cravings. How about y’all
If you'd like to save $$$ AND calories, Aldi has their version of Halo Top!
/u/Catmom2004
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:40:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3r86/if_youd_like_to_save_and_calories_aldi_has_their/
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https://www.purewow.com/food/aldi-new-september-2018
Late to class bc I was chewing/spitting a chocolate donut into a school toilet
/u/bexsun2
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:39:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3qqb/late_to_class_bc_i_was_chewingspitting_a/
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yeah this is definitely the peak of my ED.
also, anyone else go way over calories today? frickin Halloween :(
[Rant/Rave] Would anyone like to explain to me the logic behind doctors prescribing medication to ED sufferers which has a side effect of WEIGHT GAIN!?!?!?
/u/Schnackbacker
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:35:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3pia/would_anyone_like_to_explain_to_me_the_logic/
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Seriously though, every day I ask myself whether my medication is actually going to help with depression and anxiety if it actually contributes to the causes of my depression and anxiety...
How is it possible to recover when disordered eating is so normalised?
/u/catacomical [20F | 5’6” | CW: 116 😪 | GW: happy ]
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:26:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3myp/how_is_it_possible_to_recover_when_disordered/
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Disordered eating is the new normal eating. Or maybe that’s a bit harsh. Maybe restrictive eating is the new normal eating.
I see it when I open up Instagram and am presented with a buffet of dehydrated, flat stomachs and perky butts. I see it in my reddit feed, which is full of strange fitness tips and terrible diet advice. I see it in my friends and family when they talk about “intermittent fasting”, “eating clean”, “juice cleansing”, “going keto”, “going vegan” and eating “whole foods”. MyFitnessPal, macros and calorie counting aren’t just whacko things for a small group of people anymore, they’re a status symbol of health for a modern lifestyle. I don’t know anyone - man or woman - who is happy with their body and eats intuitively.
So tell me, how the fuck do you recover when you’re being bombarded with messages telling you otherwise? How are you expected to give up being a little too good at being “healthy”?
[Tip] Halloween candy calories (fun sized!)
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:14:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3ix7/halloween_candy_calories_fun_sized/
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I listed the calories for the fun sized versions of candy for those who want to track (I will be glad to take down if this triggers anyone!) These are the smallest versions of the candy, normally the ones given out on halloween.
*3 Musketeers 🎃63 cals
*100 Grand🎃 95 cals
*Almond Joy 🎃80 cals
*Baby Ruth 🎃85 cals
*Butter Finger 🎃85 cals
*Dots 🎃70 cals
*Heath Bar🎃77 (personal favorite!!!) Cals
*Hersheys Bar🎃67 cals
*Jelly Belly Beans🎃 35 cals
*Kitkat 🎃70 cals
*M&M plain 🎃73 cals
*Milk Duds 🎃40 cals
*Milky Way🎃 80 cals
*Nestle crunch 🎃60 cals
*Payday 🎃90 cals
*Reeses PB cup 🎃110 cals
*Skittles 🎃80 cals
*Snickers 🎃80 cals
*Sweetarts 🎃10 cals
*Twix 🎃80 cals
*Whoppers 🎃100 cals
*York peppermint pattie🎃 60 cals
[Rant/Rave] I look good in a video!!
/u/daintydaisydoll [5'2 / CW:95 / BMI: 18 / GW: 84]
Created: Wed Oct 31 16:09:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3hgg/i_look_good_in_a_video/
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I had a video taken of me in my dance class and I looked incredible. It was a very positive wake up call. I had felt a bit pudgy all day, but my body looked amazing. I feel so relieved 😌
Haha who else is pretty sure everyone is looking at them and wondering how they got so fat
/u/welcometomindjail
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:54:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t3cks/haha_who_else_is_pretty_sure_everyone_is_looking/
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I was at my goal weight for almost a whole year and then life came right at me (health issues, death, etc) and now I'm up at least 25lbs or probably more in the span of 5 months. Barely any of my clothes fit so I'm down to wearing leggings and long sweaters to cover my butt. Every day.
And I can barely even look at people because I KNOW they have noticed but would never ask me about what's wrong. And, worse, I feel like I'm a failure and everyone knows it. That I was doomed to be fat again.
Another fun part is that I'm so depressed and fucked up about suddenly getting so fat that I can't even motivate myself to do anything about it other than eat my feelings and refuse to exercise :)
I can’t do this anymore
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:43:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t38xi/i_cant_do_this_anymore/
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I can’t eat <400 calories a day anymore. I can’t handle the fast heartbeat, the feeling of being close to passing out. The feeling of fear.
I broke my OMAD today with some almonds and string cheese. I had to. I could barely walk home and I skipped my Wednesday Pilates class.
I’ve made the decision to start refeeding. That doesn’t mean I’m going to start eating whatever the fuck I want. This doesn’t mean I’m gonna run out and buy a big bag of pretzels and some Double-Stuf Oreos and scarf them down. I’m still going to watch what I eat and eat healthier and still work out, but I’m not going to go below anything anymore.
This also doesn’t mean I’m cured. As Kaylie Cruz once said, “I will always struggle with anorexia, but my team’s behind me.” I’m going to have bad days (restricting and binging) but I want to get to 115 in a healthy way.
Here’s to hope and recovery.
[Other] Ask about low cal drinks for Halloween, panic about weight gain and don’t go out anyway
/u/SkinnyAgain259 [5'7" | 139lbs | 21.7| -16lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:35:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t36bh/ask_about_low_cal_drinks_for_halloween_panic/
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And to top it all off I’ve eaten 300 cals over my limit so I could have gone out anyway.
Who needs a social life anyway?
All that matters to me right now is getting that number on the scale lower as soon as possible.
[Rant/Rave] Wanting to recover one second and then hating myself the next
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:112 | 17.4 |]
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:32:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t35ef/wanting_to_recover_one_second_and_then_hating/
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Does anyone else want to recover for like two hours and so they try eating a normal meal (maybe even two... I ate lunch AND dinner today. Big deal for me)
BUT then you realize that you feel “out of control” if you recover? Like this seems like one thing in my life I can control? But at the same time I’m not in control of my eating disorder... I feel so trapped and conflicted in my thoughts.
[Help] i need an advice.
/u/eattillithurts [169.5 cm ¦ SW 111kg ¦ CW 68.4 kg ¦ GW 55kg | F | 🍑 thinme]
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:19:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t31e0/i_need_an_advice/
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hunger is not a problem. but my loose skin is. i need to lose slower, but eating more than 1000 cals makes me binge on more. i have the numbers. its not some disordered thought, its the reality. eating more than 1000 means i am energetic enough to eat more or whatever. i ate everything, again.
there are 5 apples left. i binged on everything else. i have now my safe food and 5 goddamn big apples. i will probably eat the 5 apples even tho i dont want to. but i know, since everybody is on vacation for one month that i am left alone. nobody will buy more. only 5 apples left.
1) should i eat 3 meals, with thoughtful snacks, counting the apples in.
2) should i throw the apples away and OMAD
3) should i throw the apples away and fast till next day to compensate for 3 days of binges?.
3) should i try to put the apples away till weekend when i can give them away to friends and do OMAD with SO?
4) should i OMAD with the apples?
i.fucking.hate.throwing.away.food. i know what hunger feels like, just because i have money now to buy food doesnt mean i should waste it. but binging on it and feeling shitty is it not worth either. its just the last 5 apples and i am freaking out.
beside that, my skin is awful thin, light yellowish (too much tomatoes? thyroid? something else?) and loose, any advice on that?
thank you guys, just needed to tell someone.
Going back to restricting
/u/Pinkdustbunny
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:16:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t30c7/going_back_to_restricting/
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I have no reason to try to be healthy all I do is feel extreme guilt over the past and hate myself for things I've done nothing that I want to talk about but starving is the only thing comforting that makes me feel better I give up on pretending to be happy I had some almond protien milk today and that's all I'll have, because I dont want my hair to fall out. Idk why I'm posting this but it feels good to not eat
So can you drink whatever you want during fasting periods as long as its calorie/sugar free?
/u/NopeEwNotThat
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:15:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t306p/so_can_you_drink_whatever_you_want_during_fasting/
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Because going that long without a monster just isn't going to happen.
Can't stop thinking about it
/u/PaxonGoat
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:09:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2y50/cant_stop_thinking_about_it/
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It was one of those lines I would never ever cross. Skipping meals and restricting are just dieting and not actually anything disordered. I'm horrifically over weight. There's nothing wrong with eating the same thing 4-6 times a week (shout out to PDQ for being fast food and making me grilled chicken and broccoli) so what if I never go grocery shopping except to buy protein bars and pickles. Or never buying clothes cause I can't emotionally handle the process of trying on clothes that might not fit. I'm being frugal with my money. I'm normal. Yesterday I saved my calories up to go out to dinner with my boyfriend and it was so many calories but it was okay cause I was going to fast today and I had saved up calories so it would be ok. I went to bed and woke up hella sick to my stomach and ended up puking. I felt so good after. I felt so empty and content. I have no idea why I puked. I have always wished I could make myself puke for when I got upset stomac and it's never worked and I just have to wait out the stomach flu. But fuck. If I could get that perfect empty feeling any time I wanted I would be so happy. Why is my fucking gag reflex so non existant. Ugh. This sucks. But totally not wanting to make myself puke. Cause that's bulimia. I'm just getting healthy and dieting like I should be.
People who don't purge/overexercise
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 96.8 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 70 🍑 smallest_madeline]
Created: Wed Oct 31 15:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2wkk/people_who_dont_purgeoverexercise/
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How do you not do it? I keep telling myself I'll never purge again, but then I'm in a situation where I feel forced to eat an unsafe food or more than I'd like to eat. Or I'll get a crazy strong craving for something high calorie and then I tell myself I'll just deal with the slight bump in weight but then I can't stand it and I FORCE myself to throw up even if it's been 6 hours. If I can't get enough up I'll walk for hours or run on the treadmill.
Do you just never eat more than you want to? Do you not get cravings? Or how do you deal with that awful bloated uncomfortable feeling? I keep wanting to tell myself that purging is no longer an option but I always know in the back of my mind that it is! I just really want to stop purging. It's so hard though because if I'm consistently losing I can't stand knowing that I might go up even by a little bit the next day
[Other] guy I’m seeing triggers me so much
/u/twa1238 [F25| 158cm | CW 🐄 |]
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:44:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2q1u/guy_im_seeing_triggers_me_so_much/
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hey y’all, haven’t posted here for quite a while. I had a breaking point and binged and then I felt like I didn’t deserve this community anymore and then I realized my Ed is getting super super bad and tried to recover or something and said I’d do no weigh October, whatever didn’t work out, but I’m super good at restricting now because I’m terrified or weighing myself tomorrow, so there’s that
Whatever, sorry, that was a useless update.
I started seeing a guy two weeks ago and we really hit it off. I’m usually not one to want to see someone so much but he lives almost next door and he’s very eager on seeing me all the time so he makes it work. we did NOT have sex yet, usually I’m a bit of a hoe but I think he wants me to feel loved and rescued and all idk
Buuuuut he doesn’t know about my ED and he’s so obsessed about weight. Like he talks about weight all the time. The first time we hung out he flat out asked me what my weight is after I told him my height and I just said my first gw but I don’t know if that’s true right now since I’m not weighing myself and honestly if I’m at that weight still I’ll probably kill myself tomorrow after stepping off the scale but I had to say something right?? I was so shocked, I just blurted it out
He said that’s a great weight (what) and I tried to be funny and uncomplicated about it and said lol who asks that and then we didn’t talk about it
A few days ago (we saw each other almost every day) he said my arms look so tiny and he put his hand around my wrist and was amazed that they were so small. It was kinda cool but also kinda the worst because I think I have BD problems and this not weighing doesn’t help with it at all. Yesterday I was at his house and we cuddled and he GRABBED MY HIP and I was very uncomfortable and jokingly said please don’t touch my fat thanks and he said he likes it when a woman isn’t boney -
(I accidentally said “what, why, that’s the goal” and he looked a bit worried for a second but I acted like it was a Halloween joke and not a completely normal proED joke lol)
-and then he made it worse and said but he gets it, he gets a bit uncomfortable too if someone touches his fat parts
GUYS HE IS OVERWEIGHT. Not fat but more than chubby. Does that mean he thinks we’re the same body type???? WHAT THE FUCK, I almost cried right at the spot after that because now I don’t know if I’m fat or not.
Then again once I told him how my grandma can be so mean and snippy and that it always takes everyone by surprise because she looks so small and skinny and he looked at me and said aww reminds me of someone
But he also once said that I have very strong legs when I played around with something and lifted it and we all know what strong means and now I can only wear sweatpants or baggy jeans when I’m with him.
And he wants to eat all the time. We always meet around afternoon and stay together until late at night and not ONCE did I eat ANYTHING with him. Not even a crumb or something but he doesn’t even notice somehow? In the first few days I always said I had already eaten and he was like “aww why do you always eat before we meet I want to take you to dinner” but now I feel so weird telling this lie EVERY DAMN TIME (even though I DID eat before if by before we mean 10 hours ago and by eat we mean monster and a clif bar)
Yesterday after I was so triggered by him grabbing my hip he got up and had a snack (AGAIN) and when he started eating he noticed I was reading the caloric values of his cereal box and asked me if I wanted some and I just said “nah I don’t eat”and he didn’t even care which felt very weird??
I don’t even know why I’m posting. It’s just so baffling. He’s so focused on food and other peoples weight (he guesses what people weigh, like actors or just random people on the street) and I think he doesn’t know I have disordered eating problems but honestly it’s kinda unreal how much he doesn’t notice it and it feels a bit enabling? But also I feel so fat around him?? And he makes so many comments about my body?
I’m sorry I don’t even know why I’m posting this, it doesn’t make sense but I needed to get this out somehow. I don’t know if I should stop seeing him because it messes with my mind so much but also it’s so fucking great because we spend so much time together and I can completely get away with eating absolutely nothing while still being social and distracted from restricting.
Happy No-Nut November everyone
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 54kg | 18.5 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:37:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2nlx/happy_nonut_november_everyone/
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Joyless January
Fasting February
Moneyless March
Alcoholism April
Melancholy May
Junk food June
Jobless July
Anxiety August
Self injury September
Osteoporosis October
Neglect November
Denial December
[Other] Happy No-Nut November everyone
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 54kg | 18.5 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:35:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2n0z/happy_nonut_november_everyone/
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Joyless January
Fasting February
Moneyless March
Alcoholism April
Melancholy May
Junk food June
Jobless July
Anxiety August
Self injury September
Osteoporosis October
Neglected November
Denial December
[Discussion] Do any of you work as a model or aspire to become one?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:24:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2j80/do_any_of_you_work_as_a_model_or_aspire_to_become/
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Just curious. I feel i have the face for modeling but my body? Man, that’s a pipe dream if i ever saw one ha!
[Intro] Anybody else a drunkorexic?
/u/SlutForSerotonin
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:22:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2inw/anybody_else_a_drunkorexic/
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Sorry, I'm new (but long time lurker), so if this doesn't fit please remove. Still don't understand exactly how to post images with text also, or link to imgur. Was going to link my MyFitnessPal screenshot. But I guess I'll just tell you. Breakfast = Svedka Vodka, 7 oz (483 Cal); Pedialyte Powder Pack, 18 g (50 Cal). Breakfast of champions! Haven't had anything else. I will force myself to, but not yet. I aim for 1400 cal per day. Don't always hit it, but usually. I know that is not that bad and a lot for this sub, but some days, half of it (at least) is alcohol. DAE relate? Love y'all and reading your posts. Hoping I can be part of the club. <3
[Tip] Want a dozen bowel movements in an hour?
/u/mrsblackattacks
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:18:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2h6z/want_a_dozen_bowel_movements_in_an_hour/
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Baking soda and water. I drank it for my stomach acid and now I may as well be chained to the toilet. 😑 I'm somewhat happy but don't consider this bragging. It DID cure my stomach acid, though, which was so bad I couldn't even have herbal tea. I don't condone laxative abuse, but if it's an emergency, this will clean out the pipes.
what are y’alls halloween plans??
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 20 | f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🌱🐻]
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:11:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2enn/what_are_yalls_halloween_plans/
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i’m going trick or treating with a friend + her kids and i’m gonna enjoy it and not feel guilty about any candy i eat!!!!! 🎃 what are u lovelies up to tonight???
[Other] i’m so excited for halloween
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 20 | f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🌱🐻]
Created: Wed Oct 31 14:03:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t2c5f/im_so_excited_for_halloween/
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tonight im going trick or treating with a friend + her kids and i’m gonna enjoy it and not feel guilty afterwards!!!! 🎃 hope y’all have a fun halloween
[Rant/Rave] I don’t know what else to do.
/u/cheesy-endeavor [Height 5’5” CW 165 GW 125]
Created: Wed Oct 31 13:24:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t1z7u/i_dont_know_what_else_to_do/
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My husband is in the military and follows a strict workout routine. He has always wanted me to become “healthy” but has yet to describe what exactly he meant about it. He wants me to meet the female PT standard for the army.
I have gained some weight over five years and of that weight, I have lost twenty pounds, however, my husband keeps making remarks about my body.
“You’re attractive now but imagine when you’re fit”
“I just want you to be healthy”
“You’re legs are only strong because your legs have had to carry more than my legs”
Meantime since he’s barely normal weight, he can eat whatever he wants, exercises whenever he wants (although he needs to be doing more if he wants to stay in the military), and still has the nerve to tell me to make sure I exercise every day.
I asked him if he thought I was fat; he said no.
So why the hell do you want me to eat clean and exercise daily?
“I just want you to be healthy. Weight has nothing to do with it”
Am I overreacting?
I'm so fucking excited for the day someone shows concern over me.
/u/High_as_red [5'4 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 13:14:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t1w0v/im_so_fucking_excited_for_the_day_someone_shows/
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I gained a lot of weight in the past four months and 6 people showed concern and asked about my stress. My MIL even outright said " Last year you still looked fine " . My aunt said " Oh I see you have (our lastname ) thighs! " my bf said I'm embarressing my self . My mom make passive aggressive comments when I get my third round of seconds. All of these mean hurtful things fuel my desire for questions like " have you been eating enough? " " are you taking of yourseld " soooo bad. I've been eating nothing but spinach for 3 days and im gonna keep going untill someone fucking worries about me.
[Rant/Rave] What will she do after finding out her ex is seeing somebody new??
/u/helpmytonguehurts [5”6 |CW 156|GW1 130|LW 89| -6| 👩🏼]
Created: Wed Oct 31 13:11:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t1uwt/what_will_she_do_after_finding_out_her_ex_is/
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Will she starve herself for 3 days? Will she eat 3000 calories in one sitting? Nobody knows!!!
[Help] I have gained 10 pounds since October 5 and I have not been eating any differently
/u/scriptsonly
Created: Wed Oct 31 13:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t1r0o/i_have_gained_10_pounds_since_october_5_and_i/
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so I'm 127 now
​
I feel like crying and I don't know what to do.
​
I was up to 122 a couple weeks ago and thought "oh maybe this is just water weight" but it didn't go away. Now I'm up to 127, and I bet you anything that it isn't just water weight and it won't go away.
​
I haven't seen that number in a year and I never wanted to ever again.
[Help] I impulsively ate 600 calories and now I feel like shit
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Wed Oct 31 12:39:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t1jzh/i_impulsively_ate_600_calories_and_now_i_feel/
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I might cut myself for such stupidity. I tried purging and it’s coming up because it’s bread. I’ll wait and try again later. I hope I don’t gain from this. I did take laxatives though. But how could I have been so stupid and eat so much. I hate myself so much rn.
When your costume is also an inside joke
/u/semperxvivum
Created: Wed Oct 31 12:34:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t1il7/when_your_costume_is_also_an_inside_joke/
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https://i.redd.it/vh81cz9zekv11.jpg
Life is a Little Off Balance and Feels Like A Mess
/u/Average-Youngster
Created: Wed Oct 31 12:30:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t1h5o/life_is_a_little_off_balance_and_feels_like_a_mess/
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I hate a lot of things in my life right now. Temporary things.
But the fact that I can NOT lose this weight is making everything feel 10x worse!
I hate that it isn't as "easy" as it use to be.
I hate that I don't have time to work out, ride my bike, or go to the gym.
I hate that medications that have helped me ignore the hunger don't work any more. Bronkaid worked for a week even when I tried gradually upping the dose.
I hate that I can't sleep through my hunger any more.
I hate that I can't sleep through my hunger with Sleep Aids.
I am a little bit of a mess, trying to stay positive.
I caved
/u/dino_bones72 [5'3" | cw 53.4kg | gw 48kg | -11kg |bmi 19.8 | 30s F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:56:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t15uy/i_caved/
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I caved. I last ate one Saturday. I've had less than 200 cals since then. I've lost 6 lbs since then. My nails are blue, my hands are shaking, I definitely have a pulse but I couldn't find it, I am ice cold to the touch.
I let my colleague take me by the hand and lead me to Pizza Express. 1,000 calories. It took me an hour to eat it. I just plucked up the courage to log it and discovered IT'S JUST WITHIN MY DAILY ALLOWANCE, WHICH ALREADY WORKS TO A 1,000 DEFECIT.
I am now all kinds of confused 😕 I don't know how I feel. Obviously, ecstatic that I've not gone over my allowance, so I should still be losing (just not as drastically as I have been when I've been fasting the last few days), but also quite sad because I was SO SO PROUD of the strength it took to make this huge effort to get through this (seemingly) massive meal and it was STILL a restriction.
The challenge is to keep it down - intentionally or unintentionally. My gut currently feels like it's going to turn itself inside out.
So I wore my Halloween costume to work
/u/raspberryfleur [5'4 | 102 | 17.5 | -75 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:49:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t13p7/so_i_wore_my_halloween_costume_to_work/
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I work in a long term care home and they allow us staff to come in and dress up in a costume. I went as Regina George from mean girls, or at least tried to haha. Not many people got the reference but oh my god I feel like I’m high.
So many compliments from residents, even the grumpy ones. So much from staff too. I was bloated last night from too much yogurt but fuck, every time I get a compliment I can’t help but smile and want to be even smaller. It’s so messed up.
One resident asked me today what size I was because I looked so slim!
“Are you a size 10? Oh my gosh you’re so fit!” I knew right away that sizes were different back then, and I told her size 8- that’s what I heard the equivalent of a 00 was? Guys I’m on the moon I’m so happy. Everyone feel free to post their costumes too, I bet everyone looks so pretty!
[Other] Maybe it's not all so bad...
/u/cattivity
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:48:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t135j/maybe_its_not_all_so_bad/
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I stepped on this scale this morning after binging the past two weeks, including last night, and I expected to have gained like 5 pounds. I guess im 128.7. I don't think all of the damage has set in quite yet. So 3.5 pounds gained in total so far. I still hate my body and I'm not happy about it but maybe it isn't so terrible. I was planning on throwing on a cat onesie and calling it good for halloween but idk maybe I'll wear a dress and some cat ears. Probably not tho lmao god I wish I was hot and skinny enough to be a halloween skank.
[Rant/Rave] I've managed to stay healthy so long
/u/goodbyeruby2sday
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:43:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t11nz/ive_managed_to_stay_healthy_so_long/
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I've struggled for about 18 months now and in the last few months I managed to eat, which turned to bingeing, and I got a relatively healthy relationship with food. Until the last few weeks when I realised I'm 15+ lbs heavier than I was back in January and people have noticed and I have too. Guess I'm back in this again because I counted again today and holy shit I didn't realise how much I was eating.
I don't really want to be back in this cycle because I remember how bad it was last year when my hair was falling out and my grades dropped and I was weak and tired. But I want skinny again so I'm willing to risk my grades and everything.
Damn you water weight
/u/GohanCake [5’1” | CW: 92 | GW: 86 | 27F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:29:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0wzs/damn_you_water_weight/
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I have an addiction to weighing myself like 20 times a day so I see my weight flucate a lot in a given day/week. I hit a new low weight a few weeks back and then entered a huge binge/purge cycle. I finally broke free and have been back to fasting/restricting... but god damn my weight fluctuations have been giving me heart attacks. I’ve been anywhere from 92-97 pounds in the past week. It doesn’t matter if I restricted hardcore, I might wake up 2 pounds heavier the next morning and then wake up a day later as 3 pounds lighter. How do I even regulate this?! It’s driving me crazy.
[Discussion] DAE see the pics Bella Hadid posted of her fridge? I obviously need to survive on yogurt and kombucha
/u/refinnejjjj
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:27:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0wkb/dae_see_the_pics_bella_hadid_posted_of_her_fridge/
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https://i.redd.it/bcm2r3h23kv11.jpg
For my Canadians looking for sugar free whatever
/u/LolitaJane [169cm | CW 84.8kg | LW 59.1kg | GW 49kg | 31F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:09:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0qnm/for_my_canadians_looking_for_sugar_free_whatever/
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I used to work at this place: https://www.thelowcarbgrocery.com/
They have a million sugar free syrups and zero cal salad dressings and coffee creamers and sweeteners and et cetera.
First post! So close to my goal I can taste it...or maybe not taste it? :)
/u/sauerkrautsadness
Created: Wed Oct 31 11:06:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0pn0/first_post_so_close_to_my_goal_i_can_taste_itor/
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http://imgur.com/vZPOGOw
How do you guys get through studying/writing papers without snacking?
/u/pokeisbae
Created: Wed Oct 31 10:54:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0l6k/how_do_you_guys_get_through_studyingwriting/
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Hello!
I'm in grad school ATM and find it impossible to get through massive research papers unless I'm constantly snacking/having breaks and edible mini-rewards due to the stress. It's also impossible for me to fast or restrict on these days because my brain seems to think I NEED to have more than an adequate amount of food (I.e when I'm already full and think I want more) to be able to be at my best.
I also tend to go to coffee shops and bubble tea shops where it's impossible not to order - but I can't work at home either.
Any suggestions? Thanks :)
[ADVICE]I’m up 20 pounds and I can’t eat my eating disorder to kick in.
/u/mardalfoosen [5'1 | 144 | 28| +5 | 18F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 10:45:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0i99/adviceim_up_20_pounds_and_i_cant_eat_my_eating/
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It’s like I’m too depressed to do any ED behaviors besides overeat. I still have all the thoughts and urges but no motivation to act on it. I just have no motivation for anything anymore not even my ED. I’m miserable.
Hi back again ~~~
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 111 | 20.3 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 10:23:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0av6/hi_back_again/
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Falling back into old habits, come back to have some support from everyone and to support everyone. How is everyone?
I was having a good morning. Positive thinking. Got excited about Halloween and watching a scary show (don’t usually celebrate)BAM ! Binge food rationalized. I’ll save all my calls for candy!!’ BAM ! Instacart??? Grocery delivery?? Oh hell yeah! BAM ! Spent $60 on binge candy. Day failed. Mia wins
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Wed Oct 31 10:19:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t09k8/i_was_having_a_good_morning_positive_thinking_got/
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Dinner plans
/u/LolitaJane [169cm | CW 84.8kg | LW 59.1kg | GW 49kg | 31F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 10:12:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t07aa/dinner_plans/
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My wife and I have dinner plans on Saturday to go to our friend's house for Thai food. We are supposed to bring wine + dessert.
I've just loosened the grip of an 8-week cycle of intense, multiple-daily-b/p. I've been doing good, mostly. I don't know specifically what foods are going to be there but I think I will probably end up purging whatever we eat. I'm going to feel anxious about it until it's over. or probably, honestly, until several days afterward.
How to keep dieting and working out when you're VERY depressed?
/u/self_d3struction
Created: Wed Oct 31 10:12:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t0761/how_to_keep_dieting_and_working_out_when_youre/
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Today I got some bad news and was crying all day, so to feel better I ate everything around the house. I tried working out afterwards to make the day less useless, but the sadness was so much that I just didn't have the energy. It felt like my body was heavy and tired.
How do you guys cope with this? Is there anything that motivates you to keep going, even when you feel depressed?
legitimately not sure - is this disordered thinking? "If you don't need or want the food, it's already wasted. Don't use your body as the trash can."
/u/huungry
Created: Wed Oct 31 09:59:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t02mq/legitimately_not_sure_is_this_disordered_thinking/
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hi all :) have lurked in this sub for a while and finally made a new account so I can let loose and post as much as I want lol. I've been trying to get better. I've lost 70 pounds and now I'm a fitness instructor (I know, hah). my thoughts and behaviors still exist. I guess I can manage them some days better than others, but it definitely requires more maintenance than I wish it did.
​
anyway, I wanted to get your thoughts on something. there's a post in our other favorite subreddit 1200 titled, "If you don't need or want the food, it's already wasted. Don't use your body as the trash can." it links to this article: [https://hungryforhappiness.com/2016/04/12/if-you-overeat-youre-treating-your-body-like-a-trash-can/](https://hungryforhappiness.com/2016/04/12/if-you-overeat-youre-treating-your-body-like-a-trash-can/).
​
I have a hard time discerning whether a mindset or attitude towards food is healthy or not and I'd like to improve that. would love to know what you guys think. is this a disordered way of thinking, or not?
I'm so sick of being so focused on food all the time
/u/throwaway6977358
Created: Wed Oct 31 09:55:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9t019u/im_so_sick_of_being_so_focused_on_food_all_the/
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I want help but no where to turn. I don't have an ed but i have such a shit relationship with food nonetheless. I've been losing weight at a slow rate but my absolute obsession with food makes it so horrible. I eat when I'm not hungry everytime I'm home for a day and I'm so sick of it, I binged on crap today and I feel so sick and all I can do is sit here and keep eating bread to settle my stomach. I have so many other things I wanna do, so many passions in life i want to pursue but i spend my free time going through diet subreddits. I just don't know what to do or who to talk to but I lurk this subreddit all the time and you guys seem like an understanding bunch, so here I am I guess.
My parents fucked me up in so many ways
/u/throwawayluckybamboo [5'4" | CW: 145.2 | GW: 125 | LW: 115 | UGW: 105]
Created: Wed Oct 31 09:25:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szrck/my_parents_fucked_me_up_in_so_many_ways/
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I guess this isn't strictly eating disorder related, so please let me know if I should delete this.
My parents (and brothers) are definitely one of the underlying causes of my eating disorder and body image issues - always calling me fat and ugly and dark when I was younger, making fun of my moustache, etc. But the older I get the more angry I am about the other ways they fucked me up. Mostly my dad. Can I vent here?
My dad was obsessed with men being rapists/perverts. Probably extreme projection since he was the kind of person who doesn't believe it's rape if you're married. But I was never allowed to have guy friends, and when I was older if I mentioned having a guy friend it would be a full on interrogation. One Easter, we went to the Eaater midnight mass and my friend who was a seminarian (pre-priest) gave me a SIDE HUG and said 'Happy Easter'. The whole drive home from church my dad berated me, calling me a slut and a whore and saying that my friend was probably only pretending to want to be a priest so he could fuck women. One time, he decided my mom had smiled more at another man than she had at him when it came to the 'Sign of Peace' at church and said the same stuff to her, and then didn't come home for the whole day to teach us a lesson (it was Fathers Day and my mom had spent a lot of time making a nice dinner, etc).
I have guy friends now but I still get super stressed around them and feel like my husband is going to get mad at me or jealous, despite the fact that he isn't a jealous person, he trusts me and he isn't a steaming pile of shit like my father. But we're all in a fantasy hockey league and I'm the only girl. One of his friends (who is my friend also of course) texts me a lot, and we are playing each other this week so it's even more frequent. I'm so stressed and I'm acting crazy - it sounds so stupid but I keep showing the texts to my husband like I'm trying to preempt him thinking anything bad. Usually he laughs but he doesn't care and I think I'm actually being annoying. I just get stressed thinking about my husband saying the things my dad used to say, even though rationally I know he would never. It's making my anxiety really bad which sounds so fucking stupid. Anyways, just needed to get it off my chest and I couldn't think of where else to post it. Let me know if I should delete it :)
Do any of you journal? If so, what are some things that you write down for the day?
/u/ricemask [5'6" | HW:155 | UGW: 100 | 20F | 🍑: riceemask]
Created: Wed Oct 31 09:21:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szpvw/do_any_of_you_journal_if_so_what_are_some_things/
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I usually write what I am going to eat for the day, and sometimes write down Instagram models names. I also write down a short safety plan in case I want to binge.
What do ya'll write down?
[Help] I don’t drink Soda/pop at all.. is it worth trying to get the calorie free diet/zero versions?
/u/goombawrangler
Created: Wed Oct 31 09:12:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szmv7/i_dont_drink_sodapop_at_all_is_it_worth_trying_to/
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I’ve never been a fan of it, but is it worth forcing myself to get into to keep my liquid cals down?
Same with energy drinks, worth “forcing” myself to get hooked on them?
What about the gastrointestinal problems associated with artificial sweeteners? I have IBS-D because of my eating disorder, and I’m not sure if it will exasperate my symptoms if I drink it consistently.
Join my public kik group!!!! Anyone welcome. I have tips tricks everything.
/u/courtneyh0204
Created: Wed Oct 31 09:09:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szlzf/join_my_public_kik_group_anyone_welcome_i_have/
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https://i.redd.it/oyv1v6ueejv11.jpg
[Other] my teacher just confronted me
/u/ThatzShynee [5’7| CW:205 | WL:42 | M]
Created: Wed Oct 31 09:00:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szj0h/my_teacher_just_confronted_me/
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oh my god she came up to me and asked if I ate today and that she’s noticed I’ve been slacking off in class. I don’t know if I should be worried or proud 🙃
Anybody else with horrible insomnia?
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 155 | GW: 125| BMI: 22.48 |]
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szgfj/anybody_else_with_horrible_insomnia/
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The lack of energy I get from not eating and the lack of energy I have from just NOT SLEEPING some nights is fucking rough. Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm a 100% alive, functioning human being. Right now I'm having a hard time holding my upper half upright just sitting, trying to type on my laptop.
I've had insomnia since before my ED behaviors began and for me it's a mixed bag. Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep but I eventually do and sometimes I literally do not sleep a single minute.
What the fuck body. Why you gotta kick me when I'm down?
Instagram?
/u/DoIEatOrNah
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:51:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szg5f/instagram/
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Made an account to post here anonymously! Does anyone want to start an instagram follow chain for support? ☺️
[Rant/Rave] Lol why am i like this
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:35:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9szax9/lol_why_am_i_like_this/
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I can’t stop thinking about the shit i ate jn like lol freaking rice crackers. WHY DID I EAT IT I FEEL GROSS AND FAT AND UGLY OMG. I can’t restrict yet cuz major exams are gg on. Have to wait till friday to finally be able to restrict.I hate this i hate myself i hate food. Food is fuel? Nah food is my worst enemy.
This Day of the Dead alter has Coke Zero on it. After this disorder kills me, I’m counting on you all to cover my alter in Coke Zero 💀❤️
/u/skinnyfuckup [5'3| ?? ]
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:33:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sza9c/this_day_of_the_dead_alter_has_coke_zero_on_it/
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https://i.redd.it/23bmehp08jv11.jpg
Did real bad on a test and we all know what that means
/u/mckatli
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sz9xl/did_real_bad_on_a_test_and_we_all_know_what_that/
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It means I'm a stupid bitch who doesn't deserve to eat 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Prednisone makes me want to die
/u/quesoandcats
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:29:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sz8qp/prednisone_makes_me_want_to_die/
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I just finished a week long prednisone taper for a muscle injury and fucking kill me please.
I was doing SO GOOD and the steroids just turned me into a bitchy, bloaty, hormonal whale. I didn't even eat enough to gain fat but I'm retaining water like whoa and I can't stop crying at stupid shit that doesn't matter.
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel extremely nauseous by the thought of food? (especially heavy, fatty foods like meat and cheese)
/u/coffee-vanilla
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:16:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sz4l7/does_anyone_else_feel_extremely_nauseous_by_the/
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I’ve noticed that since i have been eating very little and somedays not eating at all, food tends to make me feel extremely sick even things like fruit, bread, cereal. It doesn’t matter, everything makes me nauseous. Meat/eggs/cheese are even worse and make me wanna puke. My appetite is very low and i dont think about food at all anymore.
You would think its a good thing but its actually kinda scary. My favorite food was like everything that has chocolate on it lol and even that makes me sick now. Im getting kinda worried, any help?
[Rant/Rave] Today is the Anniversary of the Reason I Got Fat
/u/nobutsrslythistime
Created: Wed Oct 31 08:16:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sz4hx/today_is_the_anniversary_of_the_reason_i_got_fat/
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Not that I wasn't fat to begin with, but I wasn't *this* fat.
​
Trigger warning, I suppose:
​
11 years ago I was raped for the first time. I had been molested by my step-brother growing up, but this would be the first time I ever had penetrative sex, and it was taken from me without my consent. But 11 years is a long time, you'd think I'd be over it by now. And then it happened again (with a different person) a couple of years later.
So I ate. I ate until I felt numb. I ate because it gave my brain something to do that wasn't wallowing in my feelings. I ate to make sure no one would want to touch me ever again. I ate until I was so thoroughly disgusted with myself that I swung the entire opposite way and started to starve myself. It never lasts, because I'm always just a little bit afraid of what will happen if I am attractive, so I lose ten, twenty, thirty pounds, and then binge until it's all back. Rinse, repeat.
One day I hope I'm over this. I have an amazing man in my life now who respects me, a brilliant and wonderful therapist (who I am seeing tomorrow precisely to handle some of these issues), and I don't feel I have any right to still be as affected by this as I am.
Yesterday I ate 3000 calories. Today I will eat zero. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?
To the diner waitress...
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:59:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syyug/to_the_diner_waitress/
---
Thank you so much for making sure I could have a vegan meal at 3:00 am at a completely greasy spoon diner. And a meal that wasn’t literally just a plate of potatoes. You could tell I was starving, drunk and probably gonna fall over without food.
Thank you for pretending not to notice as I inhaled all of the food and then cried about how I needed to bring it all back up. It was wildly uncomfortable for literally everybody but you were so sweet and non-judgmental.
That was my first meal over 300 calories in a long time and I just completely binged but you were so sweet about it. Thank you for helping more than you realized.
[Help] Fuckfuckfuck
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:55:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syxpr/fuckfuckfuck/
---
Yesterday I posted about going from 114.9 to 115.3, I ate 900 calories and worked out and this morning? FUCKING 115.6!!!!! My total calories burned yesterday was 1885. What the actual fuck.
I want to cry
[Rant/Rave] people wont leave me alone!
/u/likrot
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:46:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syvbg/people_wont_leave_me_alone/
---
i wish i didnt speak english lol. one person wants to tell me i eat too much, and the other wants to tell me i should eat more. people tell me i didnt really lose 20 pounds and others tell me i look "so good". i wish they'd just leave me alone. i dont want feedback. im losing weight one way or the other.
Adderall appetite suppressant?
/u/picalowpiepi
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:45:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syuw7/adderall_appetite_suppressant/
---
So I have ADHD and I heard a lot about the medications. I'm actually not super excited about the idea of taking meds tbh because I heard that you don't eat during the day and when the meds wear off you binge like a mf. But I have crap concentration and am in school and can't afford to fail my classes. So my questions are:
When does my appetite go back to normal?
In your experience, did you lose or gain more weight in the end?
[Discussion] Does anyone have any low calorie baked goods recipes?
/u/happy_but_unhappy
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:36:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sys9y/does_anyone_have_any_low_calorie_baked_goods/
---
I'm craving blueberry muffins, brownies, traybakes... everything but when I look up recipes the calorie count is WAY too high. Help a gal out?
Just had a nightmare about gaining weight.
/u/edthrowaway12121
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:31:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syqsl/just_had_a_nightmare_about_gaining_weight/
---
Usually I have binge dreams and wake up wanting to binge but glad I didn’t actually do it. Last night, I had a dream that actually woke me up in fear! I was at the work, and my coworker asked me if I’ve been putting weight gain formula in my food. I said why because it was after a binge cycle that I thought was just water weight as usual. She told me it was because I looked ballooned.
I looked in the mirror as in took a good look and realised I actually, in fact, did get fat.
And now I desperately don’t wanna binge so I guess thanks subconscious mind
Fuck jeans
/u/mandarinclementine
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:21:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9synuu/fuck_jeans/
---
Fuck jeans
[Discussion] Does anyone else
/u/todd_blankenship_ [5’3” | sw 137 | cw 133 | gw 115 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:13:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sylol/does_anyone_else/
---
Fucking hate this holiday
[Rant/Rave] Rantttt
/u/bullymeahhh
Created: Wed Oct 31 07:00:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syhib/rantttt/
---
So basically the last year I've been bringing and gained about 30 pounds. I've recently been able to actually stop binging a little and lost about 15 of those. Yesterday, I saw a pic of me at my low/current gw, and I saw how sick and skinny and frail I looked. Now I'm not sure if I wanna lose any more weight but at the same time I do and it all just hurts so bad. Whyyyyy
Model forums?
/u/ikeafamous
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:51:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syfe8/model_forums/
---
Any online forums that are especially inhabited by working models? Or blogs even? just am curious about their exact regimens.
Also I thought I posted this last night but I’m not seeing it so sorry if it’s a repeat!!
[Rant/Rave] It nearly took over
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:48:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syege/it_nearly_took_over/
---
I've posted alot about quitting smoking but today I had a good/bad moment. I started eating chocolate without thinking and managed to stop myself before I did to much damage!!! Maybe just maybe I'm gaining control over my life again.
[Rant/Rave] Yesterday I looked in the mirror and smiled for the first time in years
/u/andinev
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:44:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sydbt/yesterday_i_looked_in_the_mirror_and_smiled_for/
---
This isn’t like super ED related, but I have such poor body image i almost cry any time I have to look at myself in the mirror. It definitely makes my depression worse and idk it just really makes me sad to hate my body and face so much. Yesterday I got my first tattoo and I looked in my full length mirror and smiled. I didn’t see my thighs and think they were fat. I thought they looked really cute because there’s art on them now. Idk it just made me happy. Can’t wait to get more lol
[Other] What are y’all’s Halloween costumes?
/u/nekkedpebbl [5'2.25🌻100.6🌻-15.4]
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:42:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sycu4/what_are_yalls_halloween_costumes/
---
We should do a picture thread! I can’t take a picture atm but I’m dressed up as Bob Ross lol
[Other] Halloween costume Thread!!
/u/nekkedpebbl [5'2.25🌻100.6🌻-15.4]
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:36:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9syb3o/halloween_costume_thread/
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Happy Halloween everyone!! I know that not everyone dresses up but I thought that it could be cool to do a Halloween costume thread, as well as stating whether you’ve hit a goal or your goals for today (because let’s be honest, halloween can be SUCH a struggle)
Last call for No Weigh November Challenge & Reddit group chat!
/u/letgoor [5'6 | 130 |GW: 120ish| 23F|add me on peach friends:)]
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:31:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sy9v3/last_call_for_no_weigh_november_challenge_reddit/
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Hey guys!
If you missed it, some of us are doing a challenge where we don’t weigh ourselves during the month of November, mostly to take a focus off the scale and the mental game mindgames that happen due to water weight, sodium, plateaus, and so on!
[Read more details here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz2pj/no_weigh_november_challenge_who_else_is_in/?st=JNX4YH4C&sh=1c532293).
We have a good Reddit group chat going and we can still take about 60 more people. So if you would like to join the challenge & chat, leave a comment and I will add you! 🙂
Happy Halloween!
[Discussion] Do you guys lose on 1200kcals?
/u/alonlioak
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:29:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sy9b0/do_you_guys_lose_on_1200kcals/
---
I literally maintain on anything above 1000 these days smh
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:10:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sy4ag/daily_food_diary_october_31_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 31, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday October 31, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:09:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sy3yc/way_to_go_wednesday_october_31_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for October 31, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] Very annoyed with night eating
/u/shhonlydogsnow
Created: Wed Oct 31 06:06:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sy2zs/very_annoyed_with_night_eating/
---
I’ve been fasting for 13 hours a day and having OMAD, but lately I have been sleeping in and so it snowballed. One day I fasted for 24 hours and at 3 am I thought well it’s ok if you have your OMAD now. Well guess who has been eating this meal at 2-3 am for like a week straight now. What the fuk. I think I just need to take some melatonin and sleep out the night because I am seriously so irritated by the anxiety not being able to eat during the day (with humans) is causing me. Anyone else a night eater here?
[Help] The question is
/u/PocketsFullOfRockets
Created: Wed Oct 31 05:50:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxz0o/the_question_is/
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Why would i stop? People now treat me so much better than they did when i was 40 lbs heavier. Now that i’m skinny, the difference is outstanding
[Rant/Rave] body dysmorphia and this blob i call my body
/u/hheavyhearted [5’6 | cw: 140 | 22.26 | lw:117 (rip)]
Created: Wed Oct 31 05:46:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxy3x/body_dysmorphia_and_this_blob_i_call_my_body/
---
literally NOTHING makes me feel more dysmorphic than touching someone else. not even being nsfw here. hugging people, cuddling, ok even nsfwly. it’s just the most disgusting and overwhelming feeling.
i first felt it like 3 years ago now (which i remember in vivid depressing detail lol) with my ex, who is still my friend. and i told him about it. how uncomfortable i was and how weird it was and why thats why i left early. and he just laughed and said i was cute and thick. i am SO exhausted of being called thick. i know it’s trendy now but i don’t want to be thick anymore. or thicc. fuck em both. and fuck this ed for ruining my ability to enioy intimacy.
[Discussion] What’s your health folder look like? This is mine!
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 05:22:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxsnb/whats_your_health_folder_look_like_this_is_mine/
---
https://i.imgur.com/iBbekIl.jpg
[Help] Splenda zero?? I can’t find it anywhere!
/u/extraclevermongoose [5'7" 🐇 Underweight bmi 🐇 They/them]
Created: Wed Oct 31 05:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxrvf/splenda_zero_i_cant_find_it_anywhere/
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Hi! i’m going to preface this with the fact that I live in canada (southwestern ON) because location is relevant :P
I cannot find splenda zero for the life of me. The type that is liquid and comes in the bottle? I had seen it before and bought it and it’s by far my favorite sweetener i’ve tried but it seems like the entire product just went WOOSH and disappeared into thin air. I haven’t been able to find it anywhere...I wish I stocked up.
I’d really like to know if there is anywhere I could score some because it really is the best sweetener for me. I really can’t stand the taste of stevia and that and sugar twin seem to be the only sugarless sweeteners that come in liquid format (i’ve seen monkfruit but only in flavoured types, not just plain.)
I cannot have granulated/powder style sweeteners because they are either mixed with dextrose/some other product that’s sneaky sugar so they still have sugar and calories which is pointless or erythritol which makes me super duper ill. (sucralose doesnt seem to effect me but anything in the -ol family (xylitol, erythritol, sorbitol, Maltitol, etc) does horribly which sucks because erythritol is touted as being one of the easiest to digest)
I can’t use the tablets either because I am vegan and they contain lactose.
Help!!!
"Oh I saw you eat lately so I thought it was over"
/u/voidnasp [153cm | CW 55,6kg | 24,96 | -12kg | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 04:51:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxlup/oh_i_saw_you_eat_lately_so_i_thought_it_was_over/
---
This is what my boyfriend told me when I was talking about how I was happy because I finally found the perfect bowls to eat in, because when I'm obsessing with eating I tend to obsess with cutlery and kitchenware, so not having the perfect container to eat my perfectly measured meals in makes me inconfortable. He is very supportive with anything ED-related even if he doesn't really understand. But my heart kinda broke a bit. I know he didn't mean to say anything wrong, I only eat when he's here so of course he only sees me eating 500 cal in one sitting. Of course he doesn't know I can't eat when I'm alone because he can't see it. But it still kinda hurts. Time to restrict more I guess.
Surgery recovery is a great excuse
/u/succumbmum
Created: Wed Oct 31 04:31:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxhmi/surgery_recovery_is_a_great_excuse/
---
Long story short, I’m currently high on painkillers and people keep offering to bring me food and it’s so easy to say “no thanks, I’m not feeling great and any food in my stomach won’t last long” I had reconstruction surgery yesterday. A friend did drop by with a bottle of “get well” tequila so I accepted that one. I did sip a protein shake because I do know I need SOME calories. Anyways forgive my rambling I just wanted to share.
[Other] Hahah why not both??
/u/lcayerf
Created: Wed Oct 31 04:24:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxgbh/hahah_why_not_both/
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https://i.redd.it/qkjzldpkzhv11.jpg
Why not both??
/u/lcayerf
Created: Wed Oct 31 04:11:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxdld/why_not_both/
---
https://i.redd.it/z7pzo6o6xhv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] How to deal with stress?
/u/Malebolgia999
Created: Wed Oct 31 03:56:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sxan9/how_to_deal_with_stress/
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I've had issues with stress and school (that probably contributed to my ED) since I was grade school. I would understand anything you ask me and I could memorize things very fast. But put me in front of a teacher and 30 students around me and I wouldn't even remember my own name.
It was much, much worse when I was younger and started overcoming my fear of oral exams, but for every ounce of my knowledge I had to work twice as hard to express myself properly. They'd always tell me "You know from what you said I feel you're really insecure in your knowledge so I'll give you lower mark"
-Basically insecurity. How do I overcome that?
I know people who'd study less than me and areo "passable" but I could study for a month and still be this mess that I am.
I hate it when people around me say "It's so easy" and make it look as if it's not a goddamn issue. I feel like giving up and saying "fuck it" I can just kill myself.
I can always get married to a senile rich man and give him kids, call it a day. (If I could at all, I think my ED destroyed my ovaries)
I just feel like I have 0 control over this and my eating has been such shit lately so I can't even say I have "that". Long post, thank you for reading..
i have a confession to make.
/u/thatmujigae
Created: Wed Oct 31 03:32:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sx68w/i_have_a_confession_to_make/
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so, I've been in this forum for a while, and before starting to use reddit I was always lurking on MPA. but I never really took it too seriously because my restricting cycles never lasted long and I always ended up binge eating and self harming as a result of feeling like shit for not being able to restrict, plus my BMI was like. 45.
but then I got weight loss surgery.
and I already knew I didn't have a healthy relationship with food, but oh boy I didn't know how bad it was until I got into the solids phase.
so now my hair is falling off, I'm constantly anxious about food and if a certain food is healthy and safe and I'm more obsessed with calories and macros than I've ever been in my entire life. my psychologist keeps telling me to stop counting and stop weighing myself but I feel like this time I finally threw myself into a hole I won't be able to get out of.
and my boyfriend keeps telling me to eat because he knows how obsessive with food I am now but fuck.
and I want to be normal and "eat like a normal person" and not have an anxiety crisis every time my mom cooks food for me, but I also feel like I'm doing so well when I restrict low and I have the perfect excuse for not eating certain foods or finishing my plate.
I guess y'all probably think I'm disgusting and fake because I needed weight loss surgery but at this point I just needed to tell someone about it.
[Rant/Rave] Stuck. SOS.
/u/hazydays_
Created: Wed Oct 31 02:29:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9swv1y/stuck_sos/
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Long story short I am terrified to eat anything solid as of late as I fear it will lead to a B/P cycle I won't be able to stop.
My "safe foods" don't seem safe in my head anymore. I don't know what to attempt to consume besides coffee/tea/water.
It's 1:30am and I'm in bed mentally salivating over all the (binge) food I wish I could be eating right now.
I am scared with all the shit going on in my life, and my poor mental state, this relapse is going to be a doozy to say the least.
What are your go to "safe" foods?
Do you think there's such thing as a balance when it comes to restricting/eating an average caloric intake?
I hate myself
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 02:27:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9swum6/i_hate_myself/
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I ate another fear food out of impulse. Welp now i feel so worthless and shitty hahahahahaha why cant i be normal
[Discussion] My skin when eating vs when fasting
/u/110_percent_bot
Created: Wed Oct 31 02:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9swrtv/my_skin_when_eating_vs_when_fasting/
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My eating habits now are basically alternating 1-2 day long binges and 1-2 day long fasts. Something I noticed is how drastically my skin changes. This evening, after having eaten for 2 days, my skin was a bit oily, but in a good way, like I was glowing. After a fast, typically my skin looks duller. Anyone else notice this? It's crazy how it can change over the course of just a day or two!
[Help] How can you tell what’s water weight loss and what’s actual weight loss ?
/u/narkreturn
Created: Wed Oct 31 02:02:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9swqie/how_can_you_tell_whats_water_weight_loss_and/
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No candy tomorrow
/u/macespacee
Created: Wed Oct 31 01:10:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9swhas/no_candy_tomorrow/
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Honestly gonna make it a personal challenge to not eat any candy tomorrow. I ate like 1000 cal today which is wayyyy over my limit ( I was supposed to fast) so no candy tomorrow. Looking forward to impressing myself tho and making my little siblings happy with extra candy
Almost there!
/u/crookedlypoetic [5'7" | 196.8 | 30.? | 78.2 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 31 00:44:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9swchh/almost_there/
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I am nearly 30 days in a couple of catagories. One, I am binge free for all of those days despite being under a huge amount of stress. Usually I stress eat but managing to talk myself down out of that spiral was so huge. I did still eat today but under my calorie goal. Two, I have restricted under 1,000 though usually under 700 a day for the entire duration except for one lunch with an old friend which still put me under 1,500 for that day. This is the longest I have gone sticking to any kind of proper attempt.
It feels so damn good though. Now if my period bloating and water weight would kindly fuck off so I can actually SEE the results I have been cultivating that would be great.
[Goal] Missed you!
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Wed Oct 31 00:26:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sw98n/missed_you/
---
I was away for most of the weekend, because I had reached my October goal and went to a party so had like a... Cheat weekend. Anyways, two days of High restricting keto later I am back and I have this "Aaaaah finally home"-feeling about being back here ^^ (Because for some reason I can't read here when I am "off my routines".
Who's ready for November!!! What are your goals?
[help] I've got therapy tomorrow, I need courage
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Wed Oct 31 00:01:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sw4gm/help_ive_got_therapy_tomorrow_i_need_courage/
---
I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I know a lot of you have been in similar situations, and I just need some encouragement so I don't chicken out and cancel tomorrow.
I've discussed a lot with my therapist, he's pretty chill, but the last couple sessions I haven't really had anything to say and that seems to be frustrating him. So I've decided to discuss my past sexual traumas with him, I know they've contributed a lot to my anxieties and ed and everything, but I'm really scared and don't know if I'll be able to do it.
Also if you have any tips, pls share
Thanks for reading
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend pissed that I purged
/u/angelakarui
Created: Tue Oct 30 23:57:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sw3l1/boyfriend_pissed_that_i_purged/
---
He won’t talk to me. He’s actually mad at me. I don’t understand. He’s like turned away in bed and I’m laying here like wtf. I thought he knew I purged but I guess not. He asked why I was sniffling and accused me of doing blow and I made a joke gagging and his eyes got wide and he was like “you threw up?!” I was like ummmmm yeah lol. Because he heard me throwing up the other night but it was after I was drinking so I guess he thought it was due to alcohol (I didn’t know this). Anyway I ate a fucking sausage and threw it up. And now he’s mad. Why is he mad. I don’t do it after every meal and he shouldn’t care. Just confused. Why would you be mad at someone for making themselves throw up...
Periods
/u/tohmmyjahn
Created: Tue Oct 30 23:17:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svvtx/periods/
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I'm a male. I don't have an ED. I would like to know how many of you have ever lost your period due to your ED.
[Tip] White Monster Energy Drink is $1.88 at Lidl (USA)
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | CW: 111| 17.6 | -20 | F | UGW: 104]
Created: Tue Oct 30 23:13:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svuu7/white_monster_energy_drink_is_188_at_lidl_usa/
---
Sooo I know a lot of people here drink Monster. At 7/11, best I ever saw was 2 for $5, which is still so expensive to me. Kroger, I usually just see $8.50 for a four-pack ($2.13 per can). I was in Lidl today (a store very similar to Aldi), and some Monster was only $1.88!!! This was without any additional discount, so you bet your ass I grabbed tons. They also had small 0 cal 80z energy drinks for 50 cents each, and the large blue 0 cal 32oz Powerades for 0.74 cents.
​
SOOOO lesson is check out your Lidls and Aldis for those vitamin and lowcal drinks!
Getting Back On My Bullshit
/u/miss-atomic-bom
Created: Tue Oct 30 23:04:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svt34/getting_back_on_my_bullshit/
---
So for the last month ish I’ve been stuck in a weekend binge, weekday moderate restrict cycle. Not even restricting enough to makeup for the weekends, but I digress. This week I’ve been trying to regain control of what I’m eating, not even necessarily for my physical appearance but because I feel so empowered when I can really just detach myself from food. However, I was lacking a motivater. Me and my (super skinny) friends play this game where we ask people to be brutally honest with us and so we asked our friends boyfriend to honestly rank us based on looks and he ranked me last. Even though it was only by like .2, it made something click in me. I’m even thankful that he said that. It reminded me even if I lost a little weight I can’t get complacent. Hopefully, this finally gives me the push I need. Wish you guys all luck moving into November and happy Halloween!
[Help] going to the doctor tomorrow
/u/jobbluetooth
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:44:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svotc/going_to_the_doctor_tomorrow/
---
so lately I’ve been super lightheaded if I do anything other than sit down, and my heart has been doing this fluttering thing. I think im going to tell my doctor about my ed tomorrow, but I don’t know how to bring it up. Ive been purging a lot and I have a feeling that it’s because of that, but I don’t know what my doctor will/can do to me if I say anything. have any of you experienced this??
[Goal] DAE look at pictures of themselves when they were younger and instantly get triggered??
/u/PiggySmiggyGiggy
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:43:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svoeg/dae_look_at_pictures_of_themselves_when_they_were/
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Holyyy fuckkk.
I just saw a picture of myself last year, AND I WAS SMALL AS FUCK.
Like wtf??
I had arms that were twigs, thigh gaps the size of russia, and collar bones popping out like my fat does when I wear skinny jeans.
I remeber thinking I was so fat at 98 pounds- and it makes me so fucking mad, and upset now. But this one picture of me two years ago has me hooked, I was *soo* small. Probably like 103 pounds. So I guess I found my new goal.
[Rant/Rave] hey gorls...dae absolutely dread + hate exercise??
/u/fentyways
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svmp0/hey_gorlsdae_absolutely_dread_hate_exercise/
---
hello ed fam
so ive been in "recovery" for a a few months and my team allowed me to do a light weight lifting program. i thought it would help me like tone my fat body but i really have not noticed anything after consistently doing it for a while. also, i HATE exercise. im barely ok with lifting (i hate cardio) but my biggest problem is that if i have to exercise i spend the whole fucking day anxiously thinking about it and dreading it. then when i do it and it's done, i feel "free" to enjoy the rest of my day...which is like after 5:00 pm.
this is why it is so annoying to me that restriction fucks up your body or whatever. me and exercise dont go well together but i have crazy body image issues so my only option is restriction WHICH I CANT DO RIGHT NOW (until i get approved to go back to school). everyone tries to tell me that appearance doesnt matter as much as i think it does...but im always like have u seen what we live in. even worse, the gay male world is so toxic in terms of body expectations and i want to be a "twink" (ugh) so bad because i literally cannot be anything else that someone could find attractive.
​
im sorry this turned into something weird. im just tired.
[Other] How To Make Your Wrist Look Small: Hold a big mug (bonus if it’s Tazo’s glazed lemon loaf tea)
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 23.5” waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:35:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svmke/how_to_make_your_wrist_look_small_hold_a_big_mug/
---
https://i.redd.it/srk89hr89gv11.jpg
[Other] I just found this in an old journal from last year, must have done this in class. Things weren't even bad yet lol
/u/violentyetflammable [5'6" | CW: 165 | UGW: 95 | F22]
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:32:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svm1u/i_just_found_this_in_an_old_journal_from_last/
---
https://i.redd.it/3errjj5s8gv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Sex (or lack thereof) makes me feel like shit
/u/sadfatlump
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:29:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svla1/sex_or_lack_thereof_makes_me_feel_like_shit/
---
Is this considered NSFW? Sorry I'm stupid and can't figure out how to use the reddit app properly so if I'm doing something wrong please let me know!
This is just a long rant/ramble about sex/no sex.
Every time I leave my boyfriend's house and we don't have sex I leave feeling like absolute crap. And like I try to initiate and he says "later" until it becomes "I'm tired" or that it's getting late and I or he has class/work early tomorrow.
The rational part of me understands that it's normal to not need to have sex everyday. It knows that he's stressed and recently been put on antidepressants so that can affect his sex drive. My appearance hasn't changed and I still look like the person I felt he was attracted to at the beginning of our relationship.
The disordered part (and lately the really loud one) is just saying that he's not attracted to me anymore because I'm a disgusting fat pig. It's telling me that he's going to scroll through reddit and masturbate to something on gonewild or anything else. It's saying that I'm not good enough for him to still be attracted to me 2 years later. He doesn't want to have sex with me because I'm fat and ugly. And that he'd rather get off by himself than with me.
"Logically" I know that isn't the case. He calls me beautiful and compliments my physique all the time and I think (?) he genuinely means it. But the annoying and loud disordered part of me is saying that he's just lying to me because he knows about my issues with food and self-esteem.
I don't know what to believe anymore and I'm going insane. I'm more anxious than I've been in a long time (because it's happened more often recently bc our schedules got busier) and I feel like this is such a stupid thing to feel so shitty about, but heyo! Here we are.
Anyway, rant over, thanks for listening to my rambles if you managed to read through this wall of text.
What to order at Mexican restaurant??
/u/warmcorgi53
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:16:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svi9j/what_to_order_at_mexican_restaurant/
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I’m going out to a traditional Mexican restaurant and I need help deciding what would be the safest, lowest calorie option to order. Please help!
Did I get it all up?
/u/cottoncandycrying
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:14:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svhtr/did_i_get_it_all_up/
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I've unfortunately gotten into the habit of purging in the last few weeks. I just binged on two cookie sandwiches and a pint of ice cream. I really didn't feel like I got all of it up, but then I saw a couple granola pieces in my vomit (this is literally so gross). I ate that granola like 4 hours earlier, so I feel like I must of got it all up? The actual amount of vomit didn't seem right though. I'm not looking for tips, I just have some much anxiety that it's still in my stomach.
Model forums?
/u/ikeafamous
Created: Tue Oct 30 22:04:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svfgv/model_forums/
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anyone know of any online forums that are especially inhabited by models? I know there’s skinny gossip but I wanted to see real models talking about what they really do to stay skinny
When y’all restrict, do you focus more on calories or carbs?
/u/heyspacequeen
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:54:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svcv6/when_yall_restrict_do_you_focus_more_on_calories/
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What’s your daily limit/goal?
[Help] Please help a boyfriend
/u/pls_stop_typing
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:51:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9svc6g/please_help_a_boyfriend/
---
Hi I am not 100% sure if this is the best subreddit to post this in, I will take it down if it is not. I am on mobile so I will try to format as much as I can.
So I have been dating this wonderful girl for almost a year-and-a-half and one thing that we both have in common is we share some common mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. We have both seeked out help and have our separate counselors. So I'm not looking for any diagnosis or any type of advice in the sense of trying to "fix" her. I just have no experience with eating disorders and I don't know necessarily where to start.
She has slowly realize that she may have a bigger issue with eating then she initially realized. Especially since we both have come so far with our walk with anxiety and depression.
I truly love her a lot and I want what's best for both of us, and I am just asking for others experiences on how to best love my girlfriend. I know seeking out true medical help is the best advice, and she is, but I am just curious about how, I as her boyfriend, can be the best that I can be.
Thank you guys so much, and again if this isn't appropriate then I will move it to something else.
Even when I'm binging I can't enjoy food
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:35:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sv8bo/even_when_im_binging_i_cant_enjoy_food/
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I feel like I only ever post to complain about my life but it's nice to have people understand. I've just come out of a restricting phase and started b/ping for the first time in ~4 months and I've been eating like crazy, non-stop, to the point where I'm not even stopping to purge anymore. Everything hurts. Food doesn't taste good and my stomach hurts so so bad, even if i don't eat for a few hours, but I can't go more than a few hours without inhaling everything in sight. I can see myself gaining weight. My stomach is obviously very very bloated and I can't see my ribs between my collarbones anymore. I just want to be skinny, why am I shoving so much food in my face??? It doesn't taste good, it doesn't feel good. Im so ready for this phase to end and to be able to restrict again. Not being able to stand at the end of my shift because my legs are weak from not eating is so much bette than not being able to stand in the middle of my shift because my stomach hurts so bad from overeating.
[Rant/Rave] Bought a pack of tiny spoons
/u/HIITKix09
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:31:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sv7e2/bought_a_pack_of_tiny_spoons/
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https://i.redd.it/zsf3z0uvxfv11.jpg
Trying to slowly recover but I always get stuck at 700 cals a day (massive rant warning)
/u/thrownawaykalbi [5'7"|CW 86.2|BMI 13.4|SW 108lbs|21F|🍑yuzukalbi🍑]
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:28:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sv6nu/trying_to_slowly_recover_but_i_always_get_stuck/
---
I do not feel good this morning. So many mixed feelings, and so much guilt. A mishap burning dinner yesterday + eating what felt like an alarming amount of extra calories to make up for it all of a sudden has triggered the everliving fuck out of me.
I think I know why 700 calories was my breaking point last time I tried to raise my intake.
It’s because that's where I cross the threshold between “heavy restriction” and “functional restriction”.
With my previous increases, there wasn't that much of a difference, physically - still felt just as weak and exhausted eating 600 as I did eating 500. But for whatever reason, 700 is the magic number for my body.
I feel stronger. Healthier. Lifting myself out of bed and standing up is no longer a task of Herculean proportions. This morning when I walked my dog, I actually lifted my feet up off the ground when taking steps instead of shuffling around like a feeble old grandma.
And it makes me feel horrible. I don't deserve health. I don't deserve to have a functioning body.
What am I doing? Why am I trying to get better, anyway? What fucking for? I don't have a life outside of my ED to go back to, so what'll it be after this? More self harm? Pills, binge drinking? I am just going to end up back playing my stupid game of mental illness Whack-A-Mole, and my issues will resurface in a different, nastier form. Like they always do.
.
I started restricting in the first place as a twisted form of proof to myself that I have self control. I felt strong, stronger than anybody because I could override my basic human instincts and deprive myself until I withered into nothing. I was in power and nothing could hurt me.
So what am I doing now, trying to get better? I'm just undoing all the pain and suffering I went through to get to this point. And it still doesn't feel like enough. I wanted to die, or at least badly hurt myself. Instead all I managed to do was get weak and frail, only to crack and give up halfway through and shift the focus of all my obsessive tendencies to my efforts in “recovery”.
((posting from a rant I wrote on peach.))
[Rant/Rave] the first few bites of a binge....
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:19:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sv4cj/the_first_few_bites_of_a_binge/
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...are the best things I've ever tasted but then it quickly goes downhill and all I'm left with is agony and disgust. Fuck college. Fuck life. I hate everything. I'm so stressed. I'm so fat.
Where do you get your favorite plates? What do you eat off of?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:15:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sv3aq/where_do_you_get_your_favorite_plates_what_do_you/
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I have to eat on small plates. Especially if they are patterned, ESPECIALLY if there's a ring around the outer edge. A small, busy looking plate of food keeps me from bingeing.
What do you eat off of? Any links to good patterned/tiny plates?
Don’t really know where else to post this but I’m really happy about my day today!
/u/defyangravity
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:08:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sv1fg/dont_really_know_where_else_to_post_this_but_im/
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https://i.redd.it/ifk6klhptfv11.jpg
[Discussion] I think I'm thin enough to have sex with but still too fat for someone to care about me
/u/SpaceWhale88
Created: Tue Oct 30 21:05:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sv0qy/i_think_im_thin_enough_to_have_sex_with_but_still/
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Havent heard from my weekend hookup and probably never will. How stupid for me to think he'd want to have sex with me sober. I'm such a fragile dumbass. I got my hopes up even though I tried hard not to. I'll probably die alone. I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 30. Of course one night stands dont turn into anything, even if it's just a casual recurrent hookup. Who would want to have sex with an ugly fat chick chick while sober?
I've never had sex with someone who cares about me I wish I was dead. I have nothing to look forward to. I want to get married and have a family but i keep telling everyone that i dont want those things so they dont pity me when i inevitably dont get them. I'm ugly on the inside.
I need to lose 45lbs and get a boob job and then maybe a man would give me a chance to get to know me and fall in love with me as long as he never finds out about my bulimia.
Does changing your routine ever create urges to binge more?
/u/_eavesdrop [5'8 | CW 125 | BMI 19 | GW 116 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:52:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sux6q/does_changing_your_routine_ever_create_urges_to/
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Every day I eat the same 225 cal breakfast (100cal cereal, 40cal almond milk, 60 cal raisins, 25 cal powdered pb) and never have any trouble w cravings or hunger later in the day but today I ate 165 calories for breakfast instead and am now having massive cravings for sweets and carbs!! Staving them off w iced coffee for now but literally can't remember the last time the urge to binge was so distracting. I've felt so weird all day and I'm not massively restricting so the 60 less calories shouldn't even be a huge deal but I feel like breaking my morning eating routine threw me way out of whack. Anyone else empathize??
[Other] My binging has gotten out of hand. I read this as "stop overeating" lmaooo
/u/cattivity
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:47:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9suvu3/my_binging_has_gotten_out_of_hand_i_read_this_as/
---
https://i.redd.it/5ssbx0azpfv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Half-Recovery Guilt
/u/jholtz27 [5'4" | CW: 124.5 | GW1: 120 | BMI: 21.37 | NB-21]
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:44:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9suv0h/halfrecovery_guilt/
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I'm sort of in this weird place of being half-recovered.
I've gone from purging exhaustively multiple times a day to only a couple times a week.
I've even had some binges where I didn't let myself purge after, to "stop the cycle"...
I'm eating like, 1300-1600 calories a day.
I don't feel sick and tired all the time.
​
But GOD if I don't feel so fucking guilty and fat all the time.
I don't want to go back to the way things were. I know I was miserable at my worst/skinniest. I just hate feeling like a disgusting pig for eating a normal person's amount of food.
I hate that out of control feeling I get when I'm *hungry* rather than *starving*. Like, normal people hunger feels so much worse than ED hunger. ED hunger almost made me feel high. Normal people hunger demands to be satisfied *right the fuck now.* It makes no fucking sense!
I just... want to be thin without it having to consume my life. Is that so much to ask?
[Help] DAE fail to lose weight for a beach vacation?
/u/Hbot00
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:43:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9suupp/dae_fail_to_lose_weight_for_a_beach_vacation/
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I've never posted here before. Tons of lurking. Tons.
I'm wondering if I am the only one who fails to lose weight before a Mexican vacation??? I am stressing.. All my weight is in my ass and thighs. Omg. I hate it.
So I 'planned' to lose at least 5lbs and feel a bit better on the beach. But no. My mom visited me for two weeks and the dieting did not happen. Meals were important to her and dammit it's up to me to cook. Yes I'm blaming my mom. Really though, I could have restricted. I try - I TRY to say that doesn't matter and I'm going to be average on the beach. But- BUT- I wanted to be hot. You know?? It's my 6 year wedding anniversary! And I'm almost 40 so I need this!
(I'm almost 40 people!!!)
I have 5.5 days left. I thought I would fast all day tomorrow and the two days before I leave on Monday. Do you guys think this will do anything for me??? I am looking for words of encouragement. Much like a lot of others here I find this sub a comfort and I don't have anyone in my life I can talk to about my bikini anxieties. Man.
God I feel like my life revolves around this and I can't even succeed at it. Lol. Please help put me out of my misery:(
[Rant/Rave] lil bit of unexpected sink purging lol
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 140 | GW 125]
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:39:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sutn5/lil_bit_of_unexpected_sink_purging_lol/
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idk man i wanted a grilled cheese and I managed to hold off until i finished my quiz and then i did a bunch of math and it was like well if I'm really good the rest of the week i'll still net at my goal for the week. it would be a tiny bit inconvenient. i spent a silly amount of time arguing with myself. I mean in the end it was compulsive really i wanted some goddamn cheese & bread & hot sauce
but like life was good for a moment i was sleepy at the end of a busy day, looking at the 20/20 I got on the quiz, and having a warm grilled cheese
n then I went to brush my teeth. got mad that I didn't think to c/s it. and when i was doing my tongue my brain was like "hm actually we can fix this lil problem now ;)"
so yeah i got to finish my day by digging bits of part digested bread out of the drain instead (:
[Rant/Rave] Jesus Christ can I stop binging??
/u/stalin-the-stripper [5’6” | 135lbs | 21.5 | 37lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:37:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sut1e/jesus_christ_can_i_stop_binging/
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It’s been like 3 weeks and the worst part is that it’s ‘healthy’ food? Like I’m not hungry, my appetite is even going away, it’s just the urge to binge and I always do it. The fact that there’s a shitton of Halloween candy around doesn’t help either lol. Maybe posting this will give me some self control, fingers crossed lmao
Leaving/recovery post/Paxil's #1 fan/PSA
/u/canarybones [5'1 | CW125 | BMI 23.6 | GW105 | 29F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9susdw/leavingrecovery_postpaxils_1_fanpsa/
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Hi everyone, this place has been amazing. I doubt anyone really knows me, but I appreciate you all a great deal.
I wanted to make a post because the reason for my recovery is medication, and I think it still has a stigma or people don't believe it can actually work for them. I spent years thinking my meds were "working" because they (just barely) kept me from killing myself. I was wrong - this is what it's like to have medication that works. This is getting to live life *completely free of my OCD and ED.* If you're taking something already, and your ED is still full-on running the show, you should talk to your doctor about trying something else or increasing your dose.
I've suffered from bulimia/BED for years, and now I can finally stop eating when I'm not hungry and when I don't even want to - it turns out I had OCD, and treating that has basically made my ED behaviors evaporate. Many of you likely have OCD also - it is very very common to have an ED operate as a subtype of OCD. If you've never considered it, you may want to do some research into it and see if this might apply to you.
I'm lucky - for me, recovery is something to look forward to because I was in a binge cycle more often than not, so my recovery will mean losing rather than gaining a bit of weight. I can't wait to finally achieve my fitness goals without this supernatural barrier always getting in the way. As the title says, the drug I take now is Paxil, but my doctor says any high-dose SSRI will tend to help OCD - it's just that compulsive behavior takes a higher dose than depression. If you are being treated for depression but suspect you may have OCD instead, you are likely on too low of a dose.
Everyone stay safe, and please see a psychiatric professional if you are at all able. It can take a long time to find the right treatment, but there are treatments - very good ones that actually work. There is something that will work for you.
​
​
[Rant/Rave] I feel so fatigued but oh well, gotta lose weight. 🤷🏽♀️
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9supo9/i_feel_so_fatigued_but_oh_well_gotta_lose_weight/
---
I ate a couple of things today and let me just say I kind of missed feeling light headed and tired. It feels kinda terrible but I need to lose weight. I can’t explain how I feel. It just feels kinda good.
[Help] Help, I need to poop.
/u/snackqueen18 [5’7” | CW 136 | GW ? | F25 |]
Created: Tue Oct 30 20:23:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9supad/help_i_need_to_poop/
---
I haven’t pooped in dayssss and my stomach is making terrifying gurgling noises like I swallowed an angry squirrel or something. How can I move my damn bowels??
[Rant/Rave] This is where I bitch about how useless "professionals" and "specialists" are...
/u/LittleBookOfSorrows [5ft1in| 77 | 14.55|MAINTAINING]
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:57:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sui7f/this_is_where_i_bitch_about_how_useless/
---
**Pass The Parcel**
​
I don't expect anyone to read this but I imagine there are loads of you who feel the same. I'll try to keep it short.
During my career as Professional Mental I've been passed from one therapist to another with **zero** results. Unfair, okay ONE therapist I saw for CogBT (*sorry, I can't write CBT without thinking Cock n Ball Torture*). She was amazing. It wasn't really her that was good, but I suppose the coping strategies she'd read in her textbook worked for that particular issue I had. My second shrink I liked because he put me on lithium which is the best thing that happened to me. Unfortunately he was a dick who didn't believe in PMS and didn't think anxiety was high before a period because there's no such thing as PMS.
**Every time I find a psychiatrist I'm comfortable with, they leave to work elsewhere**. Next one scans your notes and you have to rattle off a condensed history in less than an hour.
One therapist in particular was extremely and unsettlingly obsessed with my sexual activities (idk why they're mostly vanilla). After asking about sex he'd give me photocopies of coping strategies unrelated to sex.
Eating disorder psychologists have been the **worst.** If you're not making progress they make you feel like you're to blame or not trying hard enough...**I WANT ONE WHO'S HAD AN ED, DO THEY EXIST??...**
I've had two periods where my anorexia was "in remission". **They were so pleased with THEMSELVES** that they'd worked a miracle getting me to a healthy weight. I was miserable because the after treatment of dealing with body image was so unhelpful I lapsed back into restriction.
Last week I finished my allotted amount of sessions where I was to gain weight. Over a year I maintained exactly a pound above, a pound below or spot on the weight I'm at now. I was discharged **because I hadn't gained weight and so don't qualify for further treatment**. WHAAAAAAAT? How???
And now I'm passed on to start more PTSD therapy with yet another therapist because the last ones didn't cure me. When that's finished I'm supposed to be referred back for the same therapy I just left again.
And a new psychiatrist.
Now I can't even maintain (which I felt okay with), because I've dropped two pounds since last week. I know I've been restricting heavily but can't help it and it's making me want to lose more because it's difficult to get back to the maintain weight.
I should mention that I'm in the UK and so treatment is free at point of access. Still you only have a certain amount of sessions given to you. I'm grateful for that **BUT GET ME SOME DECENT FUCKING THERAPISTS.**
Their methods don't work. Why do they stick to the same psychobabble that really sucks for most clients?
I'm at the point where I think I might just not bother with it.
I really hope some of you have really great experiences with therapy if only to prove I'm wrong.
​
/rant
​
[Help] what foods are best for avoiding bloat/food weight?
/u/sorrowfulspookyghost
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:51:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sugo5/what_foods_are_best_for_avoiding_bloatfood_weight/
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so far the only things I know of are eggs and protein powder lmao
im trying to stop purging but am really afraid of food weight, gives me mental breakdowns lmao
[Discussion] Please...anyone else? :(
/u/RaineeRose [5'3"| F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:51:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sugl4/pleaseanyone_else/
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I was doing so well, losing pretty steadily by low restricting, and today I messed that all up by eating too much at dinner after working so hard for so long, and now I feel like I completely ruined everything I've done—like tomorrow I'll wake up a fat ass again, and I'm so afraid to get on the scale but know I won't be able not to because this disease controls me. I want to stay home and hide, but I have to go out tomorrow, and I don't want to because I'm so self-conscious and worry that everyone will think that I'm fat again. All I want is to like myself, but I can't ever do that because I'll never be good enough, especially now that I just ruined everything. I'm so ashamed. I hate this so much. WHY AM I LIKE THIS????
Join kik eating disorder group
/u/courtneyh0204
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:40:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sudgq/join_kik_eating_disorder_group/
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https://i.redd.it/zcznq7n2efv11.jpg
[Other] Has losertown calculator ever been accurate?
/u/thyme1999
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:26:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su9h8/has_losertown_calculator_ever_been_accurate/
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I don’t have a scale and can’t find a public one anywhere (I’m at college) .
I’ve been super super strict about restricting for a month now and losertown said I would be about 10lbs lighter by now with my height/starting weight/cal intake and activity level.... but I feel fatter than before. I know this isn’t possible on 30 days of 500 or less calories but I have no way of checking . That 10 pounds would put me at a BMI of 16. Something and I feel like with how I look now there’s just no way...
Has anyone ever compared what losertown told them with what ended up happening? Just trying to figure out my progress :-)
Finally back on track? 🙊
/u/Diet123x [5'3 | cw 137 | gw 110 🍉🥑🍟🍔]
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su8y8/finally_back_on_track/
---
Been successfully restricting to 1,000 cals per day for the past 2 weeks. I need to kick it up a notch, I’m trying to get down to 125 by end of November. Maybe cut down to 700 cals a day.
Do you guys have any weight loss goals before end of the year? I need to look not fat for a swanky holiday party I’m going to in December. I’m thinking 125lbs would be acceptable.
Alternatives to chewing gum as coping mechanism?
/u/Teatimefor
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:16:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su6jj/alternatives_to_chewing_gum_as_coping_mechanism/
---
Chewing gum has been an amazing coping mechanism to deal with hunger or the anxiety of feeling full and thus not hungry yet. I can’t get through an afternoon without chewing 8 or more pieces but it’s causing me really intense diarrhea every single day. What are some less harmful ways to deal with the feeling of hunger or the anxiety from feeling full and thinking you’re too full?
[Discussion] DAE feel like they wouldn’t have Body Dysmorphia or an ED if they had a smaller chest?
/u/versperalaxis
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:13:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su5qy/dae_feel_like_they_wouldnt_have_body_dysmorphia/
---
even at my lowest weight, i was a 34G. it made me feel like an object, along w just feeling fat in anything i wore. now that i’ve actually gained weight, a lot went to my chest, somehow making them bigger. my dysmorphia is freaking out especially today.
Binge rest tips?
/u/vinylbk [5' 6" | CW: 130 | BMI: 21 | GW: 115]
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:12:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su5h6/binge_rest_tips/
---
Hi everyone! I’ve been binging for the last few days (thanks, depression) and I’m heading to the health food store tomorrow. Does anyone have any tea/supplement/other tips for cleansing my sins? Thank u in advance for ur help.
[Rant/Rave] Never take dramamine before binging
/u/fiercepusheenicorn [5'6" | CW: 130 | BMI: 21 | GW: 117]
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:09:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su4l2/never_take_dramamine_before_binging/
---
I take a lot of antiemetics bc I’m recovering from bulimia and I have migraines. I’m always nauseas. But it helps me keep food down and not be so dizzy.
Then now I just fucking binged. Unplanned. I tried having some cookies. Then some chips. Like a normal fucking human. Then it became a bag of chips and a bag of vanilla sugar wafer cookies. 2760 calories. Those wafer cookie things are deceptively full of calories. They look so innocent. On top of the 1000 I’d consumed through healthy and balanced meals earlier.
I tried purging but the stuff is staying put.
I have no idea what to do. I haven’t binge/purged in over 3 weeks. I was doing so good. I overate a lot this weekend bc I was on a trip. So now MFP says I’m 5000 calories over for the week. Meaning 1.5 pounds of fat will be gained from this weeks disaster. I don’t give a fuck what the scale says. I’m all about calories in calories out math.
How do I control this before it gets out of control? I’m seriously thinking like “fuck this imma eat a brick of cheese and a box of wheat thins” just because.
I shouldn’t have gotten so much “challenge” food at one time last night shopping. It’s just so overwhelming. Next time ONE challenge at a time.
I see my therapist tmrw but we deal mostly w my trauma. I’m managing the bulimia recovery on my own mostly.
Maybe if I can’t get better I can go to day treatment next semester since I’ll have mostly night classes... I need more help than I have now and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose my teeth and bones and hair... I don’t know how to ask for help...
[Help] Help me out of my binges
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:03:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su2zn/help_me_out_of_my_binges/
---
So in an attempt to stop having a binge/cheat meal on sweets once a week, I thought I’d switch it up and allow myself to eat as much fruit as I want. Well turns out I love fruit. I ate an entire bag of grapes, half a (small) watermelon, half a pineapple just for dinner! For about two weeks I’ve been eating just fruit but must be going way over my TDEE since I’ve gained 8 pounds since. Even though I work out at least 2 hours a day. What is wrong with me? How do I go through a reset? I want to get these 8 pounds off for good asap :(
[Goal] I've officially fasted for 24 hours!
/u/Mystalist
Created: Tue Oct 30 19:03:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su2wr/ive_officially_fasted_for_24_hours/
---
honestly don't feel too physically shitty
mentally, i feel great
I'm gonna try and go 24 more
[Rant/Rave] Trying to recover; why is this so hard?
/u/ekwater [5'8" | 121 | BMI 18.4| F ]
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:58:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9su19y/trying_to_recover_why_is_this_so_hard/
---
Had a doc appt + my doctor 'suggested' (ordered) that I gain some weight b/c I weighed in @ 119.7 for an 18.2 underweight BMI + haven't been getting my period.
I've been trying to eat a bit more and I just feel so guilty and out of control. I ate cereal this morning, in addition to other things, and it just made me feel so shitty and guilty.
I guess I didn't realize how much of a fucked up relationship with food I have because I was high restricting to lose the weight anyway. When the doctor told me to gain weight I didn't really react + I thought it would be nice to eat more. But I feel afraid of eating more candy or sweets, like I'll get used to unhealthy habits (even tho my undereating is unhealthy too).
​
Ugh this is a bit of a ramble and I don't know if it makes sense, but does anyone have any tips for how to try and feel better about this/is anyone else in a similar place?
[Rant/Rave] Candy's not the issue, but...
/u/lattephobia
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:47:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9styd7/candys_not_the_issue_but/
---
FUCK pumpkin seeds.
Buttery, salty little bastards sent straight from hell to tempt me. Gah!
Help surviving dinner with my mother!
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"| CW:141.5 | BMI:22.2 | GW:125 | 31F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stv59/help_surviving_dinner_with_my_mother/
---
Meeting my mom at Red Robin for dinner in like an hour. Already at like 600 cal for the day. What can I do to keep it under 800 for the whole day? Who has tips to get through this without raising eyebrows and drawing too much attention? Maybe asking too much...😓
[Discussion] Anyone else have a mom bod?
/u/cattivity
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:33:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stug3/anyone_else_have_a_mom_bod/
---
Because ive gone through so many weight fluctuations throughout my life I look like a mother of 4. My tits are so saggy and the skin around them wrinkles so much. I have a huge stretchmark running along my stomach and idk my whole body jiggles its actually so disgusting. Im hoping when I get thin enough I'll have a body that actually matches my age (((:
[Discussion] DAE feel like theyre the only one that doesn't like when someone comment on their weightloss?
/u/PorcelainLamb
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:25:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sts3e/dae_feel_like_theyre_the_only_one_that_doesnt/
---
Sort of a rant too I guess. More of a lurker not a poster.
TL;DR I hate people telling me I look skinny and I want to hide in a hole.
I have no idea why but for some reason I absolutely cringe when people ask me if I've lost weight. I get angry when people tell me to eat, and when people tell me I look thinner I just want to hide.
I dont want to be called fat but the attention I get can be really uncomfortable to hear. I know they might just want to compliment me but most of the time I feel like they're just shaming me somehow. It makes no sense.
My eating has been really jacked up for years now, I ditched the purging in 2014 and after a gluten/wheat allergy developed I just restrict. Food isnt fun anymore. I lose weight and people have to comment. I eat like a rabbit and everyone makes it about them and how "their genetically not capable of being skinny no matter how they eat." I get people trying to tell me I dont understand what's it like to be heavy but I'm 5'3 and I weighed 200 lbs. I was obese until 18. Idk I just cant deal with that shit. Just let me rot and eat my shitty gluten free food that tastes like garbage.
Any of my friends that struggled loved the attention. I just cant relate. I hate attention. DAE get set off by this?
[Discussion] With Halloween tomorrow, what are the best low cal alcoholic drinks that won’t hit you like a ton of bricks?
/u/SkinnyAgain259 [5'7" | 139lbs | 21.7| -16lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:24:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9strkr/with_halloween_tomorrow_what_are_the_best_low_cal/
---
I will be going out tomorrow for Halloween but I have no idea what to drink. I have a big issue with pacing myself and when I’m drunk, especially on an empty stomach I’m a nightmare.
I thought maybe I should drink kopperburg or WKD but they’re so calorific and I don’t want to bloat. Plus the sugary drinks always make me feel like crap the next day.
However I’ve been restricting pretty heavily with nothing to eat in the last 24 hours and probably a small meal beforehand tomorrow. So I don’t want to get a gin and slimline tonic and end up flat on my face because somehow gin always does that to me.
What other options are out there?
I usually stick to my comforts so I’m not very well versed in the world of alcohol.
How to eat to prevent bloating?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | CW: 111| 17.6 | -20 | F | UGW: 104]
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:14:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stoqt/how_to_eat_to_prevent_bloating/
---
Okay y'all, I have a dance performance coming up Saturday, and we're wearing crop tops. I have half my foot in recovery, half not, but for this performance, I'm trying to make a concerted effort to eat at least 1000 cals a day to fuel my last week of practices, make me a stronger dancer, etc. BUT, I really, really don't want to be bloated on Saturday. I bloat easily. In the past, I'd just fast for two days and ta-dah, bloat was gone. But that's not an option here. What do I eat??? (Also, I'm vegetarian, just fyi)
My ideas so far:
1. Low sodium, so no soups
2. No carbonated beverages
3. Low, low carbs (unless maybe fruit or veggies?)
4. No dairy (I bloat some with dairy, not TONS, but some)
5. Veggies like broccoli, cauliflower, and other cruciferous veggies
6. No beans?
7. Sugar alcohols (so no to most of my protein bars)
This feels like everything I eat...I swear, everything I'm reading about says almost everything can cause bloating, except water.
I can do celery, cucumbers, some salads, sure. Fish. But...that leaves me with very, very few other options. I'm thinking of fasting the 24 hours leading up the performance, and just snacking on nuts when I'm hungry, but yeah. Still need to figure out the rest of the time! Any suggestions?
[Other] Found over at 1200isjerky and it reminded me of every time I've restricted just to end up bingeing.
/u/thelittlestbishop
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:14:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stokh/found_over_at_1200isjerky_and_it_reminded_me_of/
---
https://i.redd.it/ni1api7nyev11.jpg
I hate drinking water??
/u/okbunnie
Created: Tue Oct 30 18:04:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stlnz/i_hate_drinking_water/
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I don’t know if anyone is like this, but I hate drinking water because of the weight it puts on? It’s so good for you and I know there’s literally no fat, sugar, etc. but it’s just the number going up when I drink it that bothers me??!! I really need to get over that it puts the weight number up because of course it’s going to go away fast! ://
[Other] Posts the girl that just said “fuck it” and ate about 700 calories over budget for the first time in a month. Fuck.
/u/RunLikeTh3Winded
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:52:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sti9j/posts_the_girl_that_just_said_fuck_it_and_ate/
---
https://i.redd.it/2mhf2bsuuev11.jpg
I. Will. Fuck. Your. Shit. Up. Karen.
/u/MymlanOhlin [5'5" | CW: 131 lbs | 22 | WL: 31 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:48:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stgws/i_will_fuck_your_shit_up_karen/
---
On the 8th of October I went to the psych ER and threatened to turn to substance abuse if I didn't get treatment stat. For context, I've been begging to get let in to the ED psych section for 5 years. They then promised an emergency referral there after listening to me. I then got an appointment to a nurse (NOT AT THE ED WARD, BUT THE OPEN PSYCH WARD) for "evaluation". I went there today to describe my issues (even though I was already promised a direct appointment at the ED section). Here are some highlights from the visit:
"Uh yeah, you don't exactly have a low BMI..."
"So you don't eat at work, and then you go home and *stuff your face* with ice cream and candy."
"I guess I'll send a referral, but I doubt you'll get in because I'm sensing it's just depression with bad eating habits."
This was all said by a licensed professional, ladies and gentlemen. Be afraid, be very afraid.
BMI of 35 to under 18.5 in less than a year.
/u/Arionai [5'8 | CW: 121 | HW: 250 | - 129 | 18F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stf5n/bmi_of_35_to_under_185_in_less_than_a_year/
---
Today I finally hit underweight. I had a BMI of 35 on January 15th (ish) of this year. My weight loss slowed down a LOT recently, as I was forced to consume more calories, but I was losing 6kg+ a month for awhile.
Shame that all I have to show for it is loose skin and a horrendous body. I don't even look skinny because the skin adds so much. I don't look nearly as good as the other girls with the same stats, and never will, I guess. It's pretty depressing, I'll never be able to forget where I once was. I haven't binged once this entire time, and I have nothing to show for it, even when I was eating less than 200 kcals a day for *months*. I get rewarded with this. Yay.
Idk, I feel very little for what I thought would make me feel great. I still feel like the same person I was.
Sorry for the random ramble that doesn't really have a point. Don't really have anyone to share this with, so.. Here we are. Yay, I guess?
[Help] Physical effects of high restriction
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:41:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9stewo/physical_effects_of_high_restriction/
---
I’ve been really restricting my intake (as opposed to moderately restricting beforehand) for about 5 days and I physically feel SO UNWELL.
I’m always dizzy, my heart hurts and my heart rate is super low (25-32 or so resting). it feels as though my heart is working overtime trying to pump some blood but it just can’t do it. All of my bones ache, my head hurts.
I used to restrict this much but never had such severe symptoms so early on. Have you guys experienced this??
[Other] First time poster, longtime lurker
/u/agnesiscalling
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:36:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9std6k/first_time_poster_longtime_lurker/
---
I made a separate account so my actual account isn’t associated with this because some people know my real account. Anyways, I’ve been b/p on and off since I was 16, I’m 22 now. I’ve never been good at the losing weight portion of having disorders eating habits, but these past three months I’ve finally dropped down a pant size! I don’t have a scale anymore, I haven’t had one since I was 19. I’m too afraid to check my weight, but this felt like a milestone that I needed to tell someone, even if it’s not people in my real life haha.
Also, side note, I just binged Panda Express, felt super guilty about it, and purged. I forgot how disgusting Chinese food, even if its shitty fast food, is to throw up. WOWIE, I think this alone may keep me away from Chinese food for a long while lol
[Rant/Rave] My mother was a model.
/u/mennnaai
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:27:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9staj9/my_mother_was_a_model/
---
Imagine a petite perfect features girl that stops cars to ask for her number
Even entering her 30s most of her social interactions included free presents and gifts from random strangers
Everyone seems to adore her because she’s perfect
She had anorexia or has? (Idk we don’t talk anymore)
The perfect single mom that looks perfect every day
The kicker? She made me fat on purpose, dressing me in her hand me downs that never fitted me.
At 13 I had bigger boobs than her
“Put on a faja we are going out”
I was 13
#13
My body disgusted her and she got a sick satisfaction out of me being compared to her as the uglier one
She shoved me in short shorts whilst overweight
I was like a tumour, something that suddenly halted her career and she hated me
Physical and emotional abuse towards me was always ignored from the start due to the halo effect
A teacher that flirted with her during pta meetings asked me “how hard” she hit me doubting she actually abused me when I eventually snapped and tried to kill myself for the third time in my teens
At sixteen she gave me my first 48hr fast drink
It was like being raised by a bitchy girl that never got out of high school.
Now almost at 40 she’s with a husband that only dated her because of her previous beauty and resents her for not being beautiful anymore
Suddenly religion is the most important thing in her life whilst trying to fit in with suburban mothers
They hate her because despite her knowledge she never learnt how to fit into society and stayed bitchy
2 kids later in a loveless marriage and she hates her body and herself
Her husband dated anorexics and addicts before her because he’s obsessed with women that “take care of themselves”
He pointed out that I should aim to get the dimples in my back when I was 14 and sexually assaulted me when my mom left me with him for a weekend to cheat on him
He’s now a gym rat but still has small man syndrome
Now in the good news
On the bright side despite being short and ugly I found love
I almost followed her steps by dating abusive asshole into my early 20s but I saw the light ..now I’m with someone that loves me for who I am at my highest (200lbs) and lowest (100lbs) weight.
He loves me and even if he left I know I can be loved despite my mistakes my anger and I can’t be grateful enough.
So my mother is a model and I will never be as beautiful as she was and I’m finally ok with that
First time poster, long time lurker
/u/agnesiscalling
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:23:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9st9f7/first_time_poster_long_time_lurker/
---
I made a separate account so my actual account isn’t associated with this because some people know my real account. Anyways, I’ve been b/p on and off since I was 16, I’m 22 now. I’ve never been good at the losing weight portion of having disorders eating habits, but these past three months I’ve finally dropped down a pant size! I don’t have a scale anymore, I haven’t had one since I was 19. I’m too afraid to check my weight, but this felt like a milestone that I needed to tell someone, even if it’s not people in my real life haha.
Also, side note, I just binged Panda Express, felt super guilty about it, and purged. I forgot how disgusting Chinese food, even if its shitty fast food, is to throw up. WOWIE, I think this alone may keep me away from Chinese food for a long while lol
[Discussion] How much caffeine do you consume?
/u/tobethinspo [5'0 (153.3 cm) | CW: 93.6 lbs | 18.97]
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9st7vy/how_much_caffeine_do_you_consume/
---
Studying and drinking my third cup of coffee today for energy (in addition to the two teas I drank).
I'd guess that this community drinks/uses caffeine more than the average, but I'm curious, how much do you drink a day?
Genuinely thought this r/1200isplenty post was from this subreddit...
/u/Schnackbacker
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:16:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9st7ba/genuinely_thought_this_r1200isplenty_post_was/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/9spkun/if_you_dont_need_or_want_the_food_its_already/
[Rant] My brain is making me blame my pet's death on my disorder.
/u/tcs_hearts
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9st5r5/rant_my_brain_is_making_me_blame_my_pets_death_on/
---
So today, I am incredibly sad. My pet bunny didn't eat at all yesterday, I was gonna take her to the vet this afternoon if she still wasn't, but... as it turns out she was sicker than I thought, and she passed away this morning.
I am heartbroken and have been sobbing all day. However, my mind is a little more clear now, and my disorder has turned to "Let's blame me for everything bad that happens" mode. I'm blaming myself as if she learned "not eating" from me and as if it weren't a medical condition. That if I had just eaten more in front of her, my little cuddle bunny would still be here and that it's my fault for teaching her that not eating is okay.
I know it's stupid, and that putting that much thought and intention behind the actions of an animal is so unrealistic, but my disorder wants to blame me badly and I can't look at the empty corner of the room where her cage was without crying. Fuck my eating disorder, fuck my brain twisting everything, and fuck this day. Sorry if this isn't the most on topic, but fuck...
[Discussion] Anyone else fasting on Halloween?
/u/AeronauticalSalad
Created: Tue Oct 30 17:00:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9st23a/anyone_else_fasting_on_halloween/
---
Currently watching “How It’s Made” clips of Halloween candy so I can gross myself out enough to avoid it. Please tell me I’m not the only one planning on fasting tomorrow?
im a dick (stupid posT)
/u/tseokii [19F | BMI 18.? | lol i'm binging]
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:57:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9st1cs/im_a_dick_stupid_post/
---
ages ago i was on steqh's instagram (idk how you spell it but y'all know who i'm talking about) and someone had made a comment about "how do you get your waist so small?" and i replied "it's probably less that she has a small waist and more that she had wide hips" because uh. i thought that was the case.
steqh responded and said "i do have wide hips but i also have a 21 inch waist" or something like that but. i think she mentioned that her hips are like 34 inches? or maybe i'm making that up idk this was months ago but i can't stop thinking about that random exchange i had on instagram.
like what a bitch i am for asserting that she probably didn't have a small waist. 21 inches. 21 inches!!!! that's ITTY BITTY i have a fuckin 26-27 inch waist like the gross bitch i am and i had the NERVE to say that
i also have 34 inch hips. so like. same hip dimensions as her but i have a fatty whaaaaale waist ugh
am i beating myself up about this too much? probably. but i feel like i will die if i can't get to a 21 inch waist (which is stupid because even at a bmi of 17 i have a 26 inch waist) because i made a dick comment that wasn't even that much of a dick comment i just thought she had really wide hips but i feel like a dick idk
[Rant/Rave] i. can’t. stop. eating.
/u/vvccvv [165cm| 🐷 | G110lbs| -12 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:47:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssy7y/i_cant_stop_eating/
---
:(!
two days in a row now i’ve told myself i’m going to fast bc i had a particularly crazy weekend w alcohol & fast food etc but NOPE yesterday i ate 800+ calories and today 1,100+. i estimated my calories bc they were mini-ish binges and everything was in my mouth before i could calculate anything :( 🐷
i need ppl to talk to when i get these urges bc i don’t even think i just eAT uGGhhhhhh fml
there’s a discord server right??? maybe i should join that, idk. i guess there’s always tomorrow?
Going out for a binge now.
/u/Precaso
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:37:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssv8h/going_out_for_a_binge_now/
---
I've drained all my willpower dieting and exercising for months. I've still binged some, and have been hovering between 145 and 150 for months :( But I'm just exhausted. I need a break, it's Halloween, I submit. See ya'll tomorrow 😂😲😭
[Rant/Rave] Went over my calories for the first time in months
/u/BlurJAMD
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:33:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssu3h/went_over_my_calories_for_the_first_time_in_months/
---
1618 might seem normal, but I haven't gone over 800 in a few months, and 300 in the last two weeks. It's a hard thing to accept, and all the weight I lost is just gonna get piled back on :( goodbye 130's.
[Discussion] Experience w/ Weight Training ???
/u/angelic-rose [🌹 19F | 5’6 | 119.2 | 19.21 | GW2 115]
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:27:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssseh/experience_w_weight_training/
---
So I’m getting close to my next GW but I think I’m just skinny fat. My legs are smaller yet still flabby, my abs aren’t as pronounced, etc.
I’ve been meaning to start weight training for a long time but I have no idea how because it seems soooo intimidating in the weight room on my campus.
What kind of exercises do you do to start? How much do you lift? How do you make it work with cardio? Ahhh so many questions
[Discussion] Craving sweets. What’s your go to?
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:118 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:23:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssr7g/craving_sweets_whats_your_go_to/
---
What do you eat to satiate your sweet tooth? (List calories if you can!) I eat jello (NOT lime!) and it’s getting boring, I want something new.
Note: I tend to binge so I’d prefer dense or filling foods, thanks guys! <3
[Rant/Rave] My mom is a fucking child
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:22:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssqpt/my_mom_is_a_fucking_child/
---
I walked in the kitchen and she just started making dinner, she always does this she ALWAYS cooks way too late. I told her she needs to cook earlier so that we can have the kitchen cleaned up and not have a mess sitting there all night. I told her I was starving (I planned this to be my only meal) and she says "thats your fault for not eating at school" I told her i didnt want what they had and walked off. I come back to get some water and all I heard was a mumble "you fucking iritate me dumb bitch" and I walk in and tell her that I heard her she says "ok and?" I just ignored her walked off and she mumbled something again. I'm currently crying, my mom is such a bitch sometimes. (All the time)
[Rant/Rave] Yeah yeah fuck you too, MFP
/u/shootingstar2 [5' 4.5"| 145 | 24.8 | ? | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:09:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssmsv/yeah_yeah_fuck_you_too_mfp/
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https://i.redd.it/6otkhq1dcev11.jpg
[Tip] WARNING DO NOT MAKE POPSICLES OUT OF ENERGY DRINKS
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:07:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssmao/warning_do_not_make_popsicles_out_of_energy_drinks/
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DON'T DO IT OH GOD
So, a week and a half ago, I got the watermelon flavor rockstar zero, drank half of it and froze the rest in those little popsicle makers because I got news that I was gonna have to break my fast early, and decided I didn't deserve it anymore.
Today, I'm on day one of a fast. I normally don't need a pick me up this early in the game, but I had blood drawn yesterday, because my life is on rollerskates rn, so I was like "I'll have a rocksicle".
It tasted... not great. But not horrible. Just meh and a little bitter.
Well, cut to ten minutes after my popsicle and I am burping up foam- like, thick congealed bubbles.
I'm not in pain, but something about the popsicles melting in my stomach is doing something weird, and I have no clue what it looks like in there. I'm still gonna go to dance class, but it feels fuckin weird, man. Don't do it. Just drink it flat another day, it's better than this frightening chemistry project.
I feel like this: https://youtu.be/0RAg8DfOOuo
[Help] Ephedrine in Europe?
/u/audreyhepburnwho [no binge October~ Halloween goal 68kg cw 73kg]
Created: Tue Oct 30 16:01:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sskaz/ephedrine_in_europe/
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A couple months ago i saw a comment where someone found a UK distributor of ephedrine or bronkaid.... Can't find said comment and I'm out of bronkaid and so, does anyone have any suggestion? Otherwise I've gotten it from ebay but it takes super long to arrive here and my dumbass didn't realize early enough that I'm soon running out of EC..
[Other] Didn’t reach my goal weight by my birthday (today)...
/u/thirteencat [5'3.5" | 107 | GW: 100 | UGW: 95| F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 15:59:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssjlm/didnt_reach_my_goal_weight_by_my_birthday_today/
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But I finally broke my plateau and dropped to 106 lbs this morning after three weeks of fluctuating between 107-109 lbs!!!
A poem I wrote
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 15:53:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sshtv/a_poem_i_wrote/
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I wrote this yesterday when I was wired af on coffee.
​
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
165. 155. 142. 139. 134. 139. 134. 131. 127. 124. 120. 116. 115. 110. 0.
​
110 here. No, 190’s too much. 50 for a cup. 60 there. 5 grams. 9 grams. 22 grams. Less than 5. 240? 200? Maybe later. Balance it out. Turn away. No more. No more. No more.
​
Breathe in, breathe out. Plank. Hold it. One more crunch. Walking works. How many steps? Take the long way.
​
Why am I afraid? Why do I think so hard? Anxious, anxious, anxious. It should not be this way.
​
Fatigue. Sore legs. Dragging along. Cloudy head. Tired eyes. Can’t dance. Loss of breath. Fast chest.
​
But-a transformation! Compliments! Joy! You look good!
​
Temptation. It’s okay. I can do it. I can handle it. No. Loss of control. Can’t stop. Headache. Shame. Guilt. Cry. Rattle of the bottle. Pop two or four. Pray to shit. No more.
​
Anorexia.
​
Karen Carpenter. Tracey Gold. Christy Henrich. Kate Beckinsdale. Alanis Morrisette. Paula Abdul. Lady Gaga. Demi Lovato.
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
Me.
What is the Grossest Thing You Have Binged On?
/u/Scars_and_Skulls
Created: Tue Oct 30 15:46:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssfhj/what_is_the_grossest_thing_you_have_binged_on/
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Me: 1lb pack of raw bacon. Food that’s been sitting in the trash for two hours. Food/booze found randomly while out walking.
What’s your shame comprised of?
[Other] Quite possibly THE MOST unexpected outcome of telling my best friend that I have an eating disorder.
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 15:32:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ssbbt/quite_possibly_the_most_unexpected_outcome_of/
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So my best friend and I have been friends for 4 years. When we met, we were both an average weight.
Throughout this time, we’ve both experienced noticeable weight changes. I lost a ton of weight, she gained some.
She had always been suspicious that I had an ED, but I never actually told her.
Until yesterday.
So I opened up to her yesterday. I told her I had an ED and I was embarrassed about it and apologized for not telling her sooner.
And you know what she admitted??
She opened up to me and told me that she was into feedism but was too embarrassed to tell me.
Talk about polar opposite best friends. Damn😂
[Goal] I fit into a size ten!
/u/Doctordoomduck
Created: Tue Oct 30 15:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ss93w/i_fit_into_a_size_ten/
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I’m so happy, it’s been a long year but more than worth it! Last December I was bursting out of a 24, at H and M right now wearing a size 10 comfortably! I know others are thinner, but I’m officially at my skinniest, smaller than when I was in middle school even. Couldn’t have done it without you all, the support here is amazing.
❤️❤️❤️
[Discussion] DAE use therapy "the wrong way"?
/u/Ednosonline
Created: Tue Oct 30 15:16:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ss69u/dae_use_therapy_the_wrong_way/
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So I got my ED diagnosis maaaany years ago and also depression, but I didnt start therapy until maybe a year Ago (and then not for ED related stuff). But I was wondering - does anyone else use methods from therapy to "feed" (heh) your ED? Like e.g. I've totally used methods for setting goals in life, to lose weight... And other methods to stop binging and so. Anyone else? Wanna share? :3
I just lost it? (TW/TMI: female body stuff)
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 155 | GW: 125| BMI: 22.48 |]
Created: Tue Oct 30 15:03:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ss1z7/i_just_lost_it_twtmi_female_body_stuff/
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I posted yesterday about my boyfriend telling me I didn't have an eating disorder. I was pretty numb about it and didn't really... feel much about it I guess. But today I just fucking exploded over the phone at him.
I had my period while I was away from my backpack/feminine products and bled through my pants really bad. I called him freaking out because I had bled through my pants and I was upset looking for consolation. He acted supportive but said something kind of flippant about 'just get up and go get your backpack and go home' that just... rubbed me the wrong way. I pretty much yelled at him that he didn't understand, I needed to ride two public buses home and then I went off the rails and said that I thought that having an eating disorder meant I didn't have to have my period anymore... but "oh wait, you told me I don't have an eating disorder! So I don't! Okay, never mind! BYE!". And then I hung up.
I made it home after the worst public transit experience of my life (my bus driver almost got into an accident with a full bus capacity) and now I'm feeling 100% ashamed for what I said. I wish I hadn't done it but at the same time I'm fucking pissed off at him for telling me I don't have an ED in the first place. It's kind of opened up a lot of bad feelings that I thought I had gotten rid of. I guess I decided to fuck up as completely as possible because I'm waiting for a stupid amount of binge food to be delivered too. Sorry if the period talk was gross or triggering to anyone.
TLDR: I yelled at my only source of support over the phone then ordered 25$ of Taco Bell to be delivered to my doorstep.
Does anyone else purposefully not want to recover, because they feel like if they do, they won't have as many problems anymore and it won't be fair to other people?
/u/crazyloco43
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:54:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sryvr/does_anyone_else_purposefully_not_want_to_recover/
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Or maybe this nonsense mindset is just me, lmao.
I feel like if I recover, that'll be making my life better, meaning my life will be better than a lot of other people, which I'll just hate myself even more for. I'm very much one to compare my suffering to others which is super dumb, but I feel like unless I literally hate everything every day, I can't complain because other people have it worse.
Fuck tabloids
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [Goal: Recovery]
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srurj/fuck_tabloids/
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I'm really trying to recover - no longer weighing myself, eating at least enough to maintain. My LW was 100lbs and I doubt I've gained much.
I was grocery shopping and at the checkout there was a magazine that said "Princess Kate: Pregnant and 96lbs" and now I feel like a fat fucking landwhale. I ran 8 miles this morning and feel like I need to go run 8 more and never eat again in my life.
Fuck, 31 is too old to have your day ruined by the cover of a fucking magazine.
Anyone else find themselves jealous of TV characters?
/u/-PM-ME-NICE-THINGS- [5"2 | CW: 51kg | BMI: 20.6 | Ortho]
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:37:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srt4j/anyone_else_find_themselves_jealous_of_tv/
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Okay, but Coco from American Horror Story!
This gal's power is looking at ANY food item and knowing it's exact calorie count and whether or not it has gluten in it. That would be crazy good *wistful sigh* ...
[Rant/Rave] Accidental discovery that I'm not his "type"
/u/mountainvvitch
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:32:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srril/accidental_discovery_that_im_not_his_type/
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Ugh, I feel like I just need to get this out and maybe I'll feel more sane. This is a new account because I deleted all my ED stuff a few months ago because I've been on the recovery train until today.
I borrowed my husband's iPad to watch a show and he had his browser open to a subreddit of tiny Asian women. I didn't mean to creep, but he had a bunch of tabs open of porn featuring very thin Asian girls, which is pretty much exactly the opposite of me. Before he met me, he also almost exclusively dated tiny Asian girls too, so I know this wasn't a one-time wank sesh, and that's probably his "type". He also had a live cam site open which is a whole 'nother thing but I had no idea he watched live cams and it makes me feel kind of weird even though I'm totally okay with the idea of traditional porn in general...ugh. I'm obviously not going to say anything to him because he's into what he's into and my body image issues are my own to figure out.
Idk, I'm just freaking out because as much as I've struggled with my body image, hes always told me I was his "type" despite his dating history. I feel sick, and I just feel like all along he must have been wishing I was thinner. I need to get back to restricting. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for; I just needed to write this all down to get my thoughts together.
[Help] Broke my almost 4 day fast this morning
/u/punqueenpie
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:28:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srqfd/broke_my_almost_4_day_fast_this_morning/
---
Woke up feeling terrible, dizzy, weak.. couldn't even stand up properly without feeling like I'm about to pass out.
I had one banana bread and a london fog, still feeling like shit, still don't want to eat anymore..
Been feeling terrible for days, so decided to finally go seek help at counseling on campus. They had me fill up a form specifying my mental concerns, didn't look at it and sent me away.. told me to come back tomorrow because they're fully booked.
I have literally no one to turn to.. so I just lay in bed too weak and too tired to function... I don't want to do this anymore :(
Does anyone get pain in their ribs?
/u/siamesealmeidaa [height:5'5" | CW:95lbs | BMI:15.8| weight lost:43lbs | gender:F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:25:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srpd4/does_anyone_get_pain_in_their_ribs/
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When I'm fasting, I get this really bad aching pain on the right side of my ribs. It's always happened when I'm fasting basically my whole eating disordered life. I can't find anything about it online or on proED so far. Does anyone else experience this or know what it could be? Thanks guys 💕
[Rant/Rave] i fucking binged
/u/angelicsnake
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:20:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srnu8/i_fucking_binged/
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yesterday was such a good day for me, and today had been pretty good too.... until people showed up with free pizza. i finally decided i would let myself have one slice and not eat the rest of the day.
guess what happened? i ate five fucking slices of a big ass pizza.
i’ve eaten more in the past tbh but not when i’m actively trying to restrict
i really fucking hate myself guess who’s gonna sh later lol
"You don't have an eating disorder. I saw you enjoying pizza."
/u/shortchair [5'6 | 105 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:13:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srldz/you_dont_have_an_eating_disorder_i_saw_you/
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During a recent visit with my long distance boyfriend which started with him making a joke about me gaining weight on the day he arrived, this priceless one liner was delivered to me in absolute seriousness.
I've tried to explain to him my history with eating disorders in the past, including 2 goes at treatment centers and an involuntary hospitalization after trying to kill myself when I saw a number I didn't want to see on the scale.
He believes that, because he doesn't see me actively using disordered behaviors (i.e. refusing to eat at all, or throwing up after eating) that my eating disorder is strictly in the past.
The very thought of continuing to try and educate someone who thinks that enjoying pizza nullifies an ED is so completely overwhelming to me.
Anyway on one of the last nights of his stay I got completely wasted and lost it. The accumulation of every problem I had bottled up about our relationship came pouring out. The next morning he said that I was right and he wasn't mad at me, but I think he might have just wanted to play nice until I got him on his plane 24 hours later.
Now he is completely playing the victim and I am the one apologizing, as usual. I mean, my outburst was obviously wrong, but I feel like I've just given him yet another out from ever addressing any issues I have.
Sorry not sorry for another one of these "my boyfriend is kind of a dick about my eating disorder" posts. This has no point I guess. I just feel shitty and hopeless. I'm not gonna dump him, but he might dump me so whatever.
[Rant/Rave] finally started bringing lunch to work
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Tue Oct 30 14:05:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sriwe/finally_started_bringing_lunch_to_work/
---
I made a post last week about how whenever I have an internship at an office, people always grill me about whether I brought lunch and why I don’t bring it. At my current internship, my supervisor asks me every. So I started bringing lunch this week and the first day my supervisor saw me with food she like exhaled or did some weird, shaky thing with her body and said “omg good you finally brought lunch” and then she told me me not bringing lunch made her really nervous. I’m like girl how do you get shaken up at someone not bringing their lunch? So whenever I bring food now, she always nods at me. Wtf is that
my appetite has suddenly disappeared? (BED)
/u/DenverTheLastDinosau
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:52:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srelz/my_appetite_has_suddenly_disappeared_bed/
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I usually have an insatiable appetite, it causes me day-to-day agony trying to keep BED under control, but suddenly, and I don't know why, I'm not hungry? I've not been restricting, and have been eating three meals a day for the first time in years and I was wondering if that had something to do with it. There's no other way I can explain it, I'm not taking new meds, it's not stress or depression or anything like that because I'm always stressed and depressed. Anyone else had any similar experiences? Bare in mind, the three meals a day thing naturally would make someone restricting all the time less hungry, but my restriction phase that has lasted for years has resulted in me binging pretty much everyday.
[Rant/Rave] I'm not the kind of person good things happen to
/u/3cats_in_atrenchcoat
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:46:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9srci8/im_not_the_kind_of_person_good_things_happen_to/
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I've recently quit my old job which I had a love hate relationship with to say the least. I have been sending out applications for weeks but just entered into my first "real" week of unemployment.
I had a dream job take me in for an interview last week and wanted to set me up for a second trial shift sort of thing and asked me to call after the weekend to set it up. Turns out they where still taking interviews and I'm waiting for my call back after trying to set up this trial shift twice.
I'm not upset really. It's just more of the same. I just can't believe I was stupid enough to get excited for something like that when I'm just not the kind of person good things happen to. The only problems I run into that send me into the dark parts of myself are when I slip up and start desiring things I know I can never have.
I know this isn't directly related to my ED frankly at all but I am drinking a monster ultra soo...
But really the first thing my mind is jumping to after this is I'm going to be home alone all day until I can find a job. So I can fast all day and keep productive and manic to make everything perfect for my SO while I'm being a useless jobless waste of skin around the house and apply to jobs.
[Other] A Mediocre Poem I Wrote
/u/peyton2724 [5'9'' | CW: 145 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:39:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sra7a/a_mediocre_poem_i_wrote/
---
(Just as brief explanation - this is about my friend who also has an eating disorder. Lately we’ve both been ranting to each other about some of our disordered behaviors and it’s lowkey been us just fueling each other farther and farther into our disorders.).
Tell me how
You get high off of your own body,
As you dangle your ankle off the edge of the sofa,
Foot gone slightly purple
As you chew hour-old bubblegum
I can see the smoke circling.
You bring that shit to work
And think nobody can smell it,
Radiating off you while you take
Another trip to the bathroom,
While we take lunch break.
Like every day.
You tell me of how happy and healthy you are
Like I can’t see you stumbling
Every time you stand up,
Your sight going spotty,
Crossed with images of beautifully thin ballerinas
Dancing.
And you wrap your fingers around your wrist.
A quiver in your voice as you tell me of the cupcake you ate today,
In spite of your weightloss journey,
Because you’re a foodie at heart.
An excuse like overdone perfume.
You dangle your ankle off the edge of the sofa,
Foot gone slightly purple,
As you tell me of the goosebumps on your skin in that
77 degree room,
While pinching at your side.
I wonder if you even notice
That you’re doing it.
I watch your eyes glaze,
As you get high off of your own body
Burning it.
I take a hit.
[Rant/Rave] "you're eating SO MUCH today!"
/u/lightningmcqueef69
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:26:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sr5wr/youre_eating_so_much_today/
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-comment from my boss yesterday, after i fasted all weekend and planned my entire day around eating my favorite foods. i work in a bakery and everything is amazing so every once in a while i let myself eat maintenance except all the calories come from delicious pastries.
she said it *as i was taking a bite out of my favorite fucking thing in the world*. we only carry that flavor of [redacted thing because it's specific to us and i'm paranoid] on mondays lol but guess who's never eating at work again? tHiS bItCh fuck
[Rant/Rave] Tfw
/u/msnormanmaine
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:19:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sr3j5/tfw/
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U are weighing yourself in public and don’t want to react too strongly to what you see
Started only weighing myself weekly to stop stressing about water weight fluctuations...
/u/refinnejjjj
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:18:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sr35v/started_only_weighing_myself_weekly_to_stop/
---
And I’ve gained a pound this week even though I’m restricting????? Bring on the stress x10000
Can’t stop binging, disgusted with myself.
/u/Icanmakeyouhappy [5’2” | CW 132 | BMI 24.2 | -28lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:17:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sr2v7/cant_stop_binging_disgusted_with_myself/
---
How do I stop? Someone please hold me back.
This entire week has been terrible. I was losing half a pound a day, for 3 weeks. Down a stone in a month. But now my fat self will not stop binging on fear foods that are in my house. I am not buying them, my mums/sisters buy it. But holy fuck, fibre one brownies? Give it to me. These caramelised bread crackers from tesco ..give me it. Brioche rolls, bread, the list goes on :(
I don’t even chew my food anymore. I don’t have a stop button. I can’t purge, I don’t have a gag reflex. I feel god awful, because I’m maintaining and i wish I could restrict better. What is wrong with me. Why am I a fake? Why do I have no control? I baked a fudge chocolate cake, and proceeded to eat half. I *love* baking, - welp not anymore if I’m going to stuff my fat face. I look in the mirror and feel sick of myself. It’s been a week of binging, srsly how do you guys break the cycle?
[Rant/Rave] “You eat so much”
/u/TallHoe_InA_Tahoe
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:07:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqzqs/you_eat_so_much/
---
Those were the exact words that were said to me and my friend as we were having our lunch break at work. Another coworker came over and he was being so hateful... he told us that we didn’t have standards, we looked sloppy with our elbows on the table eating, and literally said we were eating too much. “Nobody thinks it’s attractive to date a girl that’s over here eating like a gopher.” I wanted to cry but honestly I just told him, “Nobody is out here trying to look attractive. We’re just trying to enjoy our lunch.” & he said “You must have a boyfriend already and that’s why you’re not afraid to let yourself go.” So I stood up to leave and noticed I got some salad dressing on my pants and he said, “See, if you had standards you wouldn’t be out here looking like that.” Seriously guys, wtf. I told my friend that I wanted to report him to our manager and she said no because he was just playing around and she didn’t wanna be dragged into some drama. I honestly don’t think I can bring myself to eat at work again.
[Discussion] Shit people say, without knowing its because of your ED?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Tue Oct 30 13:07:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqzlp/shit_people_say_without_knowing_its_because_of/
---
I just got "come inside its freazing"
I chuckled with my slightly higher metabolic rate because of the caloroes homeostasis burns
[Discussion] Being short sucks
/u/tune_in_tune_out [5.0.5" | 102 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | -20 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqx1o/being_short_sucks/
---
I don’t mean to offend anyone or decrease/make light of any struggle. I’m not really referring to how hard it is to restrict in this post as I know all of this is hard for anyone, at any size. It’s mostly a general feeling and I’m pretty sure I’m just being whiny and complaining. This post is mostly meant to discuss and I’d really love to hear from all of you guys and your experience.
I can’t help but feel everything would be easier if i was just taller. Societies structure with food wasn’t made for someone my size. I can’t go to a restaurant unless I don’t plan to eat anything else that day because of the high calories. Why should it be on me to limit my portion if i’m going out? Why is the portion made for someone taller or bigger than me everywhere I go? Sometimes the portion looks small to me, and even if it’s healthy, it’s still more than I can have in a day worth of calories. It also doesn’t help that I have a higher appetite so I’m compelled to eat all of it.
I see all of these taller girls, and even men like my husband, eat however they want, multiple times at restaurants, sweets, snacks, whatever have you and they DONT gain weight. Sure, maybe they are exercising - but if you can’t outrun a bad diet, how are they possibly eating at restaurants 24/7 and having sugary snacks all the time without any gain? (I’m being for real, the people I know eat out all the timeeee, not just occasionally)
If I want to lose any weight at a good rate, i gotta eat like 500-600 cals to have somewhat of a real deficit. If I wanna work out sufficiently, I can’t unless I eat more but I don’t wanna eat more cause then I lose most of the deficit I have. Even if I work out, I still can’t eat the way I wish I could. And if I can’t eat the way I could in any case, what’s the fricken point of restricting anyways. What’s even the point of eating. The more I lose, the less I can eat. The more I have the more I have to restrict. Otherwise it’s just gaining from here I guess. I just want to be thinner so I keep going, knowing there’s just no winning at the goal anyway.
Even if I didn’t have an ED, I could still never eat like the “normal” person can. I know there are lots of shorties in the world like me, but it feels like normal is to be taller. Especially with how everything is made (even apart from food sometimes like with clothing).
If I want to have something sweet one day, it means I can only have one other small meal possibly. While someone taller than me could potentially indulge in a sweet (say even 400 cal) and then go on to enjoy a larger meal or 2 just like they normally would. The sweet thing would be barely anything since you could still have at least 1400 more cals. I feel like I would be so content with this (maybe I’m just delusional - maybe if i was taller I’d have an even higher appetite and still complain).
I’m so stuck between feeling like I don’t want to eat anything at all, and also wanting to eat more but also physically feeling fine. I just mentally cant cope with the fact that I’ll never eat normally and what I’d like will never be reality.
I’m sorry guys. Help me snap out of this. I know being taller won’t fix my problems, but so much it feels like it would. Please share yours stories and experiences - i’d love to hear from you and get my head straight. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I hate all of this
Seeing binge food gives me anxious ticks now?
/u/wristsPlz [F 5'11" | CW:137.5lbs | GW: 125lbs | BMI: 19.2]
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:56:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqw3u/seeing_binge_food_gives_me_anxious_ticks_now/
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I've suffered with anxiety for a very long time. I had a big mental health crisis a few years back (wow, that long) but have been steadily getting better since. One part of it that has always stuck is a kind of tick I get when I see something happens that I don't like. Usually it's when I've planned something one way and it happens another way. My body tenses up like violent shivering until I get over it.
Well recently it's been happening when I see my typical binge foods. Picture of a giant chocolate cake on another subreddit sent me into my ticking. Another picture with biscuits, and what make me tick was a comment talking about eating them all.
I'm super focused on food at the moment - it's always on my mind what I'm going to eat and how many calories it will be. And it's weird how things like that send me over the edge. Does anyone else get the same, or similar?
[Other] only downside of being too small
/u/manfromanother-place [5’1.75 | CW:100 | GW: 95 | 18.4]
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:38:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqqfg/only_downside_of_being_too_small/
---
there was a blood drive at my school and i don't weigh enough to donate :(
[Goal] Is it stupid of me to put off things like dating until I reach my goal weight?
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:34:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqoxa/is_it_stupid_of_me_to_put_off_things_like_dating/
---
Ugh. I feel like I’m honestly putting my life on hold, but I just know that I won’t be confident/happy with myself until I reach my goal.
And if I don’t love myself, how could someone else? I know it’s commonly said that “reaching your gw isn’t gonna solve all your problems” but truly I’m only comfortable getting intimate with people when I’m at a lower weight.
But I’m also putting off stuff like, applying to a new job. Probably sounds ridiculous, but it’s extremely easy to restrict with my current job bc it’s not stressful at all. Although I hate it, I’m willing to put up with it til I reach my goal lol.
Anyway.... is this just stupid of me? I feel like I’ve already wasted so much of my life, but idk.
[Discussion] How do you get your electrolytes during a fast
/u/mmblarg
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:30:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqnhz/how_do_you_get_your_electrolytes_during_a_fast/
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Doing a 6 day fast and just curious what you all do during your fasts. Personally i’m drink 1 - 2 cups of bone stock with a bit of added pink Himalayan salt and a splash of apple cider vinegar. This gets most of my sodium, a touch of potassium, but no magnesium as far as i can tell.
What about you guys?
[Help] how do u deal with halloween???
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 20 | f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🌱🐻]
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:15:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqiks/how_do_u_deal_with_halloween/
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last year i was in a binge cycle on halloween, so none of it mattered LOL. this year though idk what to do??? make the candy my OMAD?? i’m worried that might kick me into a binge.... or maybe just restrict, make sure i’m somewhat full before i go out and then have like one or two pieces??? or just skip it all together and lowkey ruin my halloween??? HELP A GAL OUT
[Rant/Rave] Just passed out for the first time
/u/justadumbkid1 [5’5|145.2 lbs|40 lbs lost|23.7 BMI|F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:13:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqhzm/just_passed_out_for_the_first_time/
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Oof. So today is my third day fasting. I was walking to the bathroom and I started feeling lightheaded and weak so I tried to hurry up and make it to the toilet so I could sit down. Next thing I know I’m on the floor right beside the toilet and my head and shoulder hurt because I hit the floor with them. Thank god my grandmother is watching TV in another room and didn’t hear me fall.
Was watching Star Trek on a plane yesterday...
/u/publius-esquire [5'6" | LW 117.2 | GW 110 | HW 146 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:04:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqeww/was_watching_star_trek_on_a_plane_yesterday/
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And got majorly jealous - not of any of the girls, but of Spock’s shoulder bones. It’s a real low point lol
[Rant/Rave] Saw myself naked for the first time in months and cried for hours
/u/kVIIIwithan8
Created: Tue Oct 30 12:01:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqe6r/saw_myself_naked_for_the_first_time_in_months_and/
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Last night. I was really upset about it. I've lost a lot of weight but still don't look like the "me" in my head. :(
What to do with myself after a breakup if I don't have many friends?
/u/MadameFizzgig
Created: Tue Oct 30 11:57:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sqcda/what_to_do_with_myself_after_a_breakup_if_i_dont/
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Hopefully this is a good place to ask this, if not please let me know. I know it's not specifically/completely about my ED but this is such a wonderful and supportive community that I'm hoping it will be a good place to get advice.
I'm a 24 year old female and my ex and I broke up a couple weeks ago after being together for nearly 3 years. I was/am utterly heartbroken. I was living in another country while living with him, and am now back in the US living with my parents until I can afford a place of my own. I have a couple friends here, but they work a lot and don't have much time to hang out. I'm starting a seasonal job soon, but I'm not sure how many hours I'll be there per day.
Honestly, this is just a really crappy situation. I feel incredibly lonely and isolated, and like I'm having to completely start my life over again. It sucks living with my parents after having been on my own for the last couple years. I'm not even close to ready to start dating yet, and the only worthwhile thing I'm really doing for myself at the moment is trying to lose weight, as I have quite a bit to lose. Even if I was ready to start dating again, I likely wouldn't because I'd like to lose this extra weight before I start meeting new people. Honestly, I'm spiraling a bit in terms of my ED, my appetite is all over the place and I just generally feel too awful to eat. My mental health is really going down the drain.
Naturally I'm a pretty introverted person, but I really miss the comfort and company of spending my free time with my ex. I am seeing a doctor tomorrow to talk about going on depression medication (as I do have diagnosed depression) because although I've been dealing with it on my own unmedicated for years, it's really starting to get to me with everything that's changed in my life.
Does anyone have any advice?
[Help] So I need some help figuring out calories after I had to eat at work
/u/temporarysecretary2
Created: Tue Oct 30 11:45:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sq8aj/so_i_need_some_help_figuring_out_calories_after_i/
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I know this is neurotic and crazy, but I’m sure we’ve all had our moments. Coworkers threw another coworker a baby shower, so I have to go through the charade of pretending to eat a lot or want the food because I’d get hell if I don’t.
I ate approx 10 carrots
3 wheat thins
1 sausage ball
One bite of penne pasta with red sauce and cheese
One bite of home made potato soup
One bite of pumpkin dip and one bite of savory pumpkin dip. I’d say 1 tsp each.
Could I be safe in estimating roughly 300 calories or is that too low? I have to re plan my dinner options because of this. I didn’t know about this shower today.
[Help] Grew up poor and I overeat whenever there's free food/an abundance of food. How do I stop this?
/u/lotsofsqs
Created: Tue Oct 30 11:34:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sq4nh/grew_up_poor_and_i_overeat_whenever_theres_free/
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My parents weren't very well off, but enough so that we always had enough food in the house. Regardless, I was always hyper aware of how many resources I was consuming and felt incredible guilt over it.
Even now, when I make enough to feed myself and I don't have to worry about my parents' stress around money, I have so much trouble with this guilt.
It plays out in two ways:
1. I cannot justify buying the food my body needs. Everything that I want to eat seems to expensive. I replace those foods with less enjoyable/healthy alternatives, or just restrict.
2. When there's free food, I stuff myself to the brim, as if I don't know where my next meal is coming from. I cannot allow food to go to waste. If there's food at my office, I eat it all, even if it's going bad or is unappealing to me.
How the hell do I break this mindset? It seems so deeply ingrained in my behavior.
Having a hard time with the scale this week.
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 11:32:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sq400/having_a_hard_time_with_the_scale_this_week/
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So I have been restricting and working out every single day. My daily calories burned have been between 1790-2075 for the past week. I have been eating between 900-1040 calories everyday with ONE day that I ate 1700 (Thursday of last week). I weighed in at 114.9 on Saturday morning, and since then I have eaten 1000 a day, burned 1900-2075 each day and this morning I weighed in at 115.3, THE FUCK?
I use a food scale for everything, I log EVERYTHING. I workout for an hour a day, why is this happening?! I don't drink, I don't eat more than 1,800mg of sodium a day...
I just don't get it and it's really getting me down.
Self-trigger fail.
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"| CW:141.5 | BMI:22.2 | GW:125 | 31F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 11:22:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sq0na/selftrigger_fail/
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No, but in a good way! I went on YouTube looking for videos of supermodels to help me feel shitty enough to do a better job restricting. Completely shameless attempted self-triggering.
I happened upon one of those “here’s everything I eat in a day as a supermodel preparing for a photo shoot” videos, and I was like “hoh boy, this is gonna spiral me out so good.”
The fail part is that I picked Sanne Vloet, a model with whom I am absolutely unfamiliar and whose **whole deal** is super clean eating, positivity and self-love. By the end of the first video on her channel, I was feeling so good and warm and happy, plus totally motivated and empowered to start cooking again. Her recipes are beautiful and she is just a glowy ray of wholesomeness and love.
Honestly, I went in looking to hurt myself and ended up feeling more grounded and on my way to recovery than I have in ages. She’s still total thinspo (insta is @slannevloet), but I spin out way less knowing that she has a kind and adorable personality. Does that make sense?
Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Laughing at myself and thankful for VS supermodels that *don’t* make me feel like shit about myself. 😂
me @ myself: congratulations, you played yourself
/u/hwi__noree [5'6 | 125 | 20.2 | ~ | F | GW: 110]
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:43:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9spnuc/me_myself_congratulations_you_played_yourself/
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B-b-b-ack again after trying to eat intuitively and maintain 125.
stepped on the scale (granted, after eating 5 guys + drunk eating) sunday afternoon (i know, wtf was i thinking) and weighed.........131...........................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's the week before my period so I tend to bloat but i feel like this time ive actually gained ACTUAL weight. I was 129 monday morning (no poo, but still). Lordt help me.
also now ive been thinking about it a lot which makes me think about food more and now i feel like im going to eat MORE food and but im also PMSing so it could be that and why cant i just get an adderall script so i would never think about this!!!!!!!!!!!!! /rant
xoxox for listening.
[Goal] Hit 104, new low!!!
/u/marshmallowwsx
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:42:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9spnme/hit_104_new_low/
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So it turns out if I restrict to 400/600 calories during the week then eat maintenance on weekends that my body accepts it’s not starving and drops some weight!
104 at 5’8 this AM is a personal record and I’m really not sure I have anything left to lose, BUT I’m going to try to get to 99 just for fun.
[Goal] I didn't make my weight goal for Halloween but that's okay.
/u/Internet_Ugly [5'7.75" | CW 161.6lbs | BMI 24.53| -78.4lbs | 26 F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:29:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9spjc1/i_didnt_make_my_weight_goal_for_halloween_but/
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I did how ever make it back into a healthy BMI for the first time in years. I've lost almost 20lbs since I stupidly started restricting again. I'm almost at my LW since adulthood. (Which was a huge 159lbs.) I'm not abusing laxatives like I was before. I didn't reach my goal weight of 155lbs on Halloween but I did make progress. I've lost 6lbs this week alone and I still have the time to eventually get there.
I hope you guys dress up and feel beautiful tomorrow. I hope that none of the negative thoughts you have take away from the fact that you all are strong and proud. Let's forget the bad thoughts and have a good time celebrating. Don't feel bad if you don't eat at the parties you go too, hell, I'm hosting a feast and will probably only nibble on bell peppers and maybe one slice of eggplant parmesan. But just enjoy yourself and be proud of the progress you have made.
Has anyone here tried protein fluff?
/u/isthischick4real
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:21:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9spgoa/has_anyone_here_tried_protein_fluff/
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Bodybuilders use it, its like 80cal but its designed to fill you up
​
for reference: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR3Z028prSU&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR3Z028prSU&feature=youtu.be)
[Help] How do I help my mom stop binging?
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | SW:120 CW: 105.9 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:15:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9speiz/how_do_i_help_my_mom_stop_binging/
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It’s super awkward because I have an yet my mom has disordered eating and binges. I love her so much and I try to help her or talk her out of it but she always just turns it around on me to say I’m not eating like I should (which is fair).
But I’m at least doing better than I used to sorta. But idk it’s weird. I’m ok that I’m suffering but it pains me to see people I love suffering too.
When my mom gets very stresssd and sad she hinges on junk food.
Yesterday idk what she had for breakfast but she had pesto pasta for lunch, which is all good and whatnot.
But when she got home she ate like half a Costco bag of caramel corn, 3 large muffins covered in extra sugar, a small tin of chocolate caramels, and like 4 babybels.
I personally don’t struggle with binge and idk what I can do to be kind/helpful.
After she always feels sick and my dad is an asshole so he just shamed her.
[Discussion] What adjectives do you want people to use to describe you?
/u/InBetweenTheLies [5'8.5" | 122.6 | 18.1 | -14]
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9spd9x/what_adjectives_do_you_want_people_to_use_to/
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I've been thinking about this a lot. Recently a housemate had a shirt that she didn't like/didn't really think fit her well, and she gave it to me. It's absolutely massive on me (size L) and so I need to pin it to keep it from falling off my shoulders, but because it's kind of a shirt/dress thing the massiveness works with the style. I tried it on with some tights under it and asked my housemate how it looked, and she said it was really large/loose but on me it made me look 'dainty'.
I got so excited. Yes, *dainty* is what I want. That's one of the words I want applied to me, stamped onto me. One of the words I want to keep close to me.
What about you? What words do you want?
[Rant/Rave] I hate this part of the cycle.
/u/lilmdjd [5’3 | CW: 130 | BMI: 23 | LW: 94| - 17| 23F ]
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:03:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9spamh/i_hate_this_part_of_the_cycle/
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I have been trying so hard to buckle down and stick to 800-1000 and I’m doing hot yoga 4-5 times a week and running about 12-15 miles a week. But without fail I accidentally eat 12-1500 2-3 times a week leaving me w a weekly average of 1000 a day (not including exercise) . But it usually carbs and I get all bloated and I hate how it is slowing me down. I can’t say for sure bc I’ve been too terrified to weigh myself lol.
I know the solution is to restrict slightly higher but I don’t want too. So there’s that lol.
I ate 600 yesterday, went to sleep, and then woke up and ate 900 calories worth of clif bars, peanut butter and berries in the middle of the night last night. Not the worst “binge” but I’m pissed. UGH. Why can’t I have complete and total control over my body? Why am I so WEAK WILLED. This is nonsense. I’m trying really hard to fast til Thursday morning. It’d be my longest fast ever ( ~55 hrs)but I figure there’s no better time than after two maintenance days.
Anyway this was just a rant, I’d appreciate aby words of comfort.
[Discussion] Is the whoosh real? Discuss.
/u/gndrfkr
Created: Tue Oct 30 10:02:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9spac0/is_the_whoosh_real_discuss/
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I'm just curious.
As a b/p subtype, I've always lost with b/p f***ing up my weight data with crazy water weight shifts.
Now I'm steadily restricting with no b/p and am having a week of no loss so far.
I want to believe in the whoosh! Tell me what I want to hear 😂
[Help] Suicidal again during recovery
/u/he-likes-24 [F :karma: 1.77m :karma: SW 76kg :karma: CW 59kg :karma: GW 56kg]
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:49:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sp6ad/suicidal_again_during_recovery/
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I can't go to therapy or rehab or whatever, and the only person I talk about this with is my boyfriend, which obviously makes me feel like an asshole. My self harm urges are at a peak lately, and I just want to end it all, honestly. I haven't been this heavy in more than a year. I look disgusting. I simply cannot look at myself, and wherever I go my reflection stares at me like a monster. I don't want to live like this. Recovery is too hard, and I don't think I want to try anymore. At the same time, though, I simply can't do this to my family and my boyfriend. It'd break their hearts, and maybe even make them feel guilty in a way, especially if I leave my diaries or a suicide note. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to die. I feel worthless. I'm nothing now, and I don't want to be alive if I can't be the way I want to be. I don't want to live if I can't be happy.
[Rant/Rave] :( Purged for the first time in years
/u/ameliasophia
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:40:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sp3mc/purged_for_the_first_time_in_years/
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I was diagnosed bulimic when I was 14 but I stopped all that and have not thrown up for years and years. Recently relapsed into ED behaviours (low restrict, excessive walking, fasting for up to 8 days) and lost 20lbs taking me down to a bmi of 16.9. THEN I went on holiday and felt happy so I binged. And I kept binging all holiday and gained back 6lbs while I was away bringing my BMI back up to 18.
​
Now I can't stop binging. Every day I eat more even though I'm not on holiday anymore and not happy anymore. Tomorrow I wouldn't be surprised if I'm not even underweight anymore.
​
It all got too much and I purged for the first time in years.
​
I'm hoping this will shock me back into just restricting like I was before and stop this binge train in it's tracks. Already I feel a lot calmer and more in control again. I don't want to relapse into Bulimia. I was always a fat bulimic and it made my face all puffy. I much prefer straight restriction but I suck at the willpower.
​
I don't even know the point of this rant I'm just in a shitty place because I starved myself for so long to get down to a low enough BMI and I ruined it all with a few days of happiness and I just want to stop eating again.
My mom wishes I wouldn’t be so vain.
/u/sriracha_henny [5'2"/157 | CW: 149/68 | UGW: 97/44 | LW: 129 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:40:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sp3e0/my_mom_wishes_i_wouldnt_be_so_vain/
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I’m sorry! I know I’m an insufferable bitch and incredibly irritating. I don’t bring up my weight for a reason—you do! I’m sorry. I’ve been like this since I was 8. It’s not a choice anymore. I’m sorry I’m still 150lb and my weight never seems to visibly change and I always seem to be “starving” and stuffing my face and I never grew out of the mindset and why can’t i just eat three times a day? God. I don’t know, I can’t not be like this. Fat or thin, I’m always going to disappoint. But this isn’t my choice anymore, I’ve wired my brain this way. Please just let me do my own thing and suffer the consequences. I know you want the best for me but don’t you think I know how vain and selfish and annoying I am? Do I need your gentle reminder? I know what you’re trying to say.
It’s no longer my choice and I don’t plan to get better until I’ve lost the weight. I’m sorry. It’s just like this now.
Does anyone have a good anti binge/bad decision mantra?
/u/hazelnut___ [5'9 | SW:158 | CW:151 | GW:135 | f22]
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:37:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sp2pp/does_anyone_have_a_good_anti_bingebad_decision/
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Like something that always stops you from eating that whole chocolate bar or skipping the gym. Just telling myself I’ll regret it later doesn’t really convince my fat ass not to ruin my day. I’ve been trying to find something to use as a last wall of defence between my progress and my weak will but nothing can overpower my cravings...
[Rant/Rave] I just want to tell someone.
/u/coffeecalories [5'0 | 92 lbs | 18.- | -48 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:37:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sp2g4/i_just_want_to_tell_someone/
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I just want to tell someone I have an eating disorder. When it first began, I loved it being my own little secret, but now I feel like I’m living in my own personal hell. My boyfriend knows I have a horrible relationship with food, he knows how low my self esteem is and how much weight I’ve lost, but I have never said the words “I have an eating disorder” to someone. The other night when we were talking about my food issues because I was crying and really upset and afraid and I had a little voice in my head screaming “I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER” so loudly and it was almost painful not saying the words. I’m tired of hiding something that I think about from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. I just want someone to know and to understand without passing judgement, but it don’t think I ever can in fear of being invalidated or in fear of being looked at differently.
The "I'm going to be fat forever so I might as well keep binging" mentality and how to get past it???
/u/Arakance [5'2" | CW: 116lb | GW: 90lb | SW: 125lb | 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:28:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soz5s/the_im_going_to_be_fat_forever_so_i_might_as_well/
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One of the biggest binge triggers for me is weighing myself and seeing that my weight hasn't gone down, which makes me feel like I'm stuck there forever, and therefore I should go binge instead since *what is the point*.
Obviously step one would be to stop weighing myself if I know it's going to trigger me, but does anyone else have any other ways to stop themselves from spiralling into this binge mentality?
[Help] Is strength training ruining my progress? Help!
/u/eva1588
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:27:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soytn/is_strength_training_ruining_my_progress_help/
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So I worked out pretty hard two days in a row. I do an aerobic workout called Pump it up. It’s on YouTube. And floor strength exercises- push ups sit ups planks squats yoga poses, and Pilates. I feel pretty good after the aerobics. After the strengthening stuff I’m pretty tired and sore. I had my reg 300 reg dinner and then a snack of Peanut butter and banana before bed. I eat about 1200-1400 a day because I’m accounting for the exercise. Usually that’s good enough for me. I can loose consistently and still have enough energy to be active all day. But I binged in the middle of the night last night on more Peanut butter and banana, hummas and a couple bits of chicken breast. So bad. But I was soooooo hungry that I couldnt control it. How am I this hungry when I ate my dinner and snack?? I was even regretting that because I felt too full after. Where did this hunger come from? It’s so bad. I’m wondering if should not do the strength training... I was just doing cardio and restricting but I was getting bony and flabby. I looked so bad and I felt like my metabolism was so slow that if I ate one extra thing or had one binge, then there would be a new fat layer the next week. So I started strength training to build some muscle and increase my metabolism. But now I’m finding the it really hard to control the late night hunger. Even with having a snack! Also I’m on birth control, the nuva ring, which I take out today... so maybe that’s contributing to all this? I don’t know what to do.... strength train and struggle with increased appetite or cardio and have flabby body w bad metabolism or no exercise and just really restrict hard core.... anyone have advice? What works best for you?
[Other] Meal planning
/u/TAYbayybay [5’5.5” | CW 125 lbs | BMI 20.5 | F | GW 115 lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soylp/meal_planning/
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https://i.redd.it/arbz1o0jccv11.jpg
[Goal] Ironic Thanksgiving Goals...
/u/indigo_angel
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:19:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sowiv/ironic_thanksgiving_goals/
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https://i.redd.it/80i62g9cbcv11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Parents tho.
/u/oldNewBicycle
Created: Tue Oct 30 09:17:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sovxq/parents_tho/
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I visited home for the weekend and it was great to see my parents, but they are also so triggering in their own ways. My dad triggers me to restrict, it is his thing to come home and complain (brag) about how little he ate during the day. On this day he complained (bragged) about only having a hard boiled egg and a couple almonds during the day. I’ve been doing well with not going wild with restriction at school, but goddamn his lunch makes me feel like such a fatass, like how dare I have a normal lunch of 300 calories after skipping breakfast. My mom, on the other hand is a secret binge eater. I discovered that we had mallomars, which is a classic fall treat, and there were only three left. My dad leaned in and told me that he didn’t have a single one, that my mom ate them all. Mom sheepishly confessed to eating them all in one go. Like ???? It has always been like this, it’s just leaving for a while and coming back that makes it so shocking. It is obvious to me that neither of my parents have a good relationship with food, and I feel like I can’t have a conversation about this because I would just out myself as having disordered eating habits. I just really hope I don’t influence any children I may have to have the food guilt like my parents have. I know many of you guys have been triggered by parents, vent with me if you need!
I'd recover but I don't like how they make you gain weight
/u/comrade_toastboy
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:57:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sook1/id_recover_but_i_dont_like_how_they_make_you_gain/
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it's my body, I should be able to do what I want with it. I don't want or need someone telling me how my body should look. Idc if it's healthy, it's my body.
[Rant/Rave] Recovery
/u/Lillie1990 [20F| 5’4 | CW 122.2 | GW 110]
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:54:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sonjb/recovery/
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The other day I planned to fast all day. I felt like garbage. Could physically not move but I had shit to do. I stopped at the grocery store and bought a banana and a quest bar. I can’t even describe the feeling of eating that banana. It was genuinely incredible. So delicious. I was immediately feeling better, was no longer lethargic. And I thought fuck it. I’m over throwing up every time something enters my system. I’m over my room smelling like vomit. I decided to eat a regular amount each day, I started at 1300 calories. Over the next few days all I did was binge. I kept telling myself that I was just getting back to food. Eating everything because I had deprived myself for so long , when was the last time anything was allowed to remain. I told myself they weren’t binges, I was just finally eating (while conveniently avoiding any kind of calorie number, knowing it was far over what I was telling myself)
For 4 days I was allowed to eat, and I mostly didn’t feel guilt. I was really just being gluttonous, self indulgent, but I was telling myself how good it feels to be eating again. Then I got high in my room. I had to pack shit up, so I decided to reward myself (for what?) with an entire bag of Halloween chocolate: Hershey’s, Reese’s, Kit Kats, even the fucking Almond Joys. I ate like 30 of them. I told myself I’d go on a run afterwards, knowing well that I would be bloated and sick beyond belief. But once I was done I couldn’t believe the damage. I went out into a wooded area by my house and just purged all of it. I sat there vomiting so violently that my stomach felt split afterwards. Then I went for a walk. So here I am. Nice to see you guys again.
[Rant/Rave] RECALL OF COWORKERS REMARKS
/u/onefatgirlhere
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:41:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soipc/recall_of_coworkers_remarks/
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few months ago , I was literally fat shamed by basically almost ALL of my colleagues at work and I seriously feel like shit !!! So ever since then I developed ed aka anorexia nervosa and has lost more than 10 kg in one month .... but Guess what now I have gained like 10kg back.. feel Super shitty now!! Now I still can remember how they will always call me “fat” “pig” “you don’t look like you can run” UGHH nvm I will take this as an motivation to lose all the fatsss !!!
Diet soda pros and cons
/u/Orjen8
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:36:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soh40/diet_soda_pros_and_cons/
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Hey everyone,
I really like diet soda lately but it makes me bloated. Also, while it is a fun add-on to dieting, I am concerned about the health risks: is it basically poison in a can/bottle?
I just started playing Red Dead Redemption 2, and I've been excessively feeding my character because I'm fasting. DAE?
/u/bottomlesspitttt
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:33:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sofzh/i_just_started_playing_red_dead_redemption_2_and/
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Not gunna lie, it helps somehow.
[Discussion] Does anyone else’s fat feel squishy when they’re losing weight?
/u/nowayjoseTA
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:33:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sofu0/does_anyone_elses_fat_feel_squishy_when_theyre/
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My tummy and legs feel especially squishy when I’m eating less, and when I eat more they feel hard and not squishy at all.
Does anyone else feel this? What is actually happening to the body?
What do ya'll do after a weekend of binging food you normally do not eat?
/u/ricemask [5'6" | HW:155 | UGW: 100 | 20F | 🍑: riceemask]
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:28:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soebk/what_do_yall_do_after_a_weekend_of_binging_food/
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I was in New York City for an interview this Friday and weekend.
A bunch of interview candidates and I all went around Manhattan and NYC as we've never been there before.... Literally so much chocolate and sundaes and sushi bars and 99 cent pizza and felt like I was weighing down half the plane back home. Like I don't think I've ever had that much (cheap) pizza in a while.
I'm literally laying in bed right now and my body literally feels so weak. I feel almost as if I'm actually sick.
Should I go the gym? Walk it off? Eat some carrots? Anything to not feel this way would really help lol
[Rant/Rave] 9st3lb this morning!!
/u/j4ckson
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:28:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soe1b/9st3lb_this_morning/
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9 stone 3!!!! That’s 129lbs for people who can’t be bothered to convert it! No one else understands how excited I am to almost be back down to the 8s! I was starting to feel fed up of OMAD like I wasn’t getting results because I don’t look any thinner, but now I’m determined to carry on and hopefully I’ll start to look and feel like an 8 stone girl soon!
Scared of stopping wellbutrin but dont think i have a choice
/u/bashytr0n [5'2"|90lbs|17.1| GW 40kg/88lbs | LW 35kg/77lbs]
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:17:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9soa9g/scared_of_stopping_wellbutrin_but_dont_think_i/
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So since ive started wellbutrin at the beginning of the year it has really helped me get my shit together, especially after lexapro messed me up.
Ive quit smoking and its helped me so much with motivation and being able to function like an adult. However, since its only prescribed as a smoking cessation aid where i live, it costs like $70 for 30 150mg pill. I had been ordering generic online obvs because thats just ridiculous and unsustainable and take i now take 300mg slow release. Its the only way id be able to afford it. (My GP okayed it and all my doctors are aware i take it, nothing illegal)
Unfortunately the site i ordered off has suddenly been shut down by the fucking FBI (?!!!) So once i run out of this month i guess thats it.
Id be interested in hearing anyones experiences with Wellbutrin/bupropion, what your dosages are, experiences with stopping. Can you just stop taking it or do you have to taper off like with SSRIs?
i want my period back but not these love handles; now referring to recovery as bulking
/u/gkelleyr
Created: Tue Oct 30 08:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9so8iz/i_want_my_period_back_but_not_these_love_handles/
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that way i can more mentally deal with it- i'm not gaining weight for forever which is literally driving me insane with so much internal tension where 5 times a day i decide i want to go back to restricting. bulking is short-term, there's a fitness purpose and then it is followed by a planned cut. does anyone else have tips to mentally resolve the tension of "recovery."
​
honestly i wouldn't even say I had an ED, I just ate at my TDEE every day, obsessively calculated everything I ate, and would make up from overeating by a deficit the next day aka IF for two months before becoming so obsessed with food I was embarrassed I didn't look at people while I ate and wanted to think about other things. Lol -\_- at some point i was like the only ppl who understand me are on r/proED so I think like that's not really the point, but there might be some people like that on here too. i also wanted to stop binging, and now since recovering i like only binge/overeat so quitting restricting hasn't helped there and i'm just way more fucked in the head than i ever was during the restriction because at least there was only one train of thought there.
​
ok thanks for reading bye. i just paused my workout to write this because i literally quit working out for a month to try to get my period back and now it takes me 2 hours to do a one hour workout cause i am lazy now
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel awkward posting in other subs because you feel like people will check your posting history?
/u/trytostay
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:59:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9so4u4/does_anyone_else_feel_awkward_posting_in_other/
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Sometimes I want to post about my grad school endeavors, or talk about female fashion, or even post about my running times. But I always stop myself because I feel like someone is going to look at my post history and derail my question/conversation/post/comment into something about my ED.
A few times I’ve posted asking for advice on relationships, I’ve gotten “Well from your posting history you seem really unstable.” It’s embarrassing and prevents me from branching out to a certain extent. I also really like using this reddit account as kind of a diary. It’s cool to be able to go back and look at my old posts and comments and see how my concerns/interests have changed over time. But I feel like I can’t always do that since people will see my posts in this sub and judge me.
I have to take antibiotics, on an empty stomach, twice a day
/u/CoffeeBonez
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9so1q6/i_have_to_take_antibiotics_on_an_empty_stomach/
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... for six months!
I plan to take one when I wake at 8am, and one four hours later, at midday. I must wait at least two hours before eating after taking one, and can't take them before bed (apparently they can irritate the esophagus if you take one then lie down).
I'm hoping they'll help me break my binge cycle. They'll help me with OMAD, at least, which I do to help me not binge, or at least not go over my calories.
This may not be massively ED specific, just didn't have anyone to share my perverse excitement with.
Was printing something in my university library and someone left this. Like wtf lmao? Gotta love NYU
/u/smarieculp [5’7| 140.6|22.1 | HW: 145 | LW: 118 | GW: 110 | 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:42:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9so08m/was_printing_something_in_my_university_library/
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https://i.redd.it/35f5fyn1ubv11.jpg
[Other] I know it’s not Sunday but can we please get some dorm-friendly recipes?
/u/fionalemon
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:31:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9snwxq/i_know_its_not_sunday_but_can_we_please_get_some/
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I’ve been eating the same 5 things since school started. HELP!
What do you guys think about starting a relationship with someone who is currently struggling with anorexia?
/u/Dr_Wh00ves
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:26:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9snvnv/what_do_you_guys_think_about_starting_a/
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So I(21 M) recently met one of my friends cousins(19 F) and we hit it off. We have been texting a lot and really get along well. We like all the same things, she laughs at my atrocious jokes, and I actually really like her. I was thinking about asking her out but she recently gave me some bad news. The problem is that she struggles with anorexia. She is currently at a healthy weight but has been losing weight again and thinks that it would be best to enter an intensive treatment program. I am just worried that when she gets out of treatment and if we start going out it could end up causing her to relapse more easily, I think we do like each other but the last thing I want to do is cause her any sort of harm and from what I have been reading anorexics are recommended to not be in relationships until they fully recover. I am just looking for advice on whether you guys think that I should not pursue any further or if I should take a chance?
Finally broke the binge restrict cycle
/u/narkreturn
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:14:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9snruf/finally_broke_the_binge_restrict_cycle/
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Im So fkn happy. I let myself eat around and above maintenance and now I don’t binge anymore. I finished the day yesterday on 750 calories and today I will be on 655 calories aiming for 600 calories tomorrow!! I can’t restrict low as I’m too scared to start the binge restrict cycle again but I’m honestly so happy to range between 550-900 again. I’m so happy I will finally reach my goal!
Am I getting sick or do I just feel like death because I treat my body like shit?
/u/coffeeandcamels [5"4.5 | 16.1 | CW: 95 | UGW: 85]
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:13:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9snrgk/am_i_getting_sick_or_do_i_just_feel_like_death/
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The world may never know!!!
a little poem I wrote last night
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 109 | GW 104 | F26]
Created: Tue Oct 30 07:10:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9snqci/a_little_poem_i_wrote_last_night/
---
when will the thoughts quiet down?
will peace ever be found?
fold me in darkness and suffocate the need
to complete the never ending drive to succeed
this immortal goal, a quiet divinity
divorced from the world with ascetic serenity
take me whole handed and half headed from this tragic existence
pull me full forced and violate my resistance
give me sleep
and a respite
down deep
im desperate
So how do you guys deal with cravings?
/u/nowayjoseTA
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:54:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9snl5k/so_how_do_you_guys_deal_with_cravings/
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I can starve all I want, and tbh I dont mind the empty stomach feeling. I just cant get food out of my head sometimes. Especially sweets.
This is the only reason I binge. Is there any way to combat this?
[Discussion] Mono diets/fave monofoods?
/u/jmiles00 [5'2 | 144.8 CW| 26.5 BMI | ftm]
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:51:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9snk4z/mono_dietsfave_monofoods/
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Currently starting a Clementine mono-diet solely because I have a shit ton of them (they were cheap at my local supermarket.) I know they're high in sugar but I once read an article on a girl who lost 2 lbs in a week monodieting pizza so I feel like I'll at least get some result. Do y'all do monodiets? Do you experience results? What are your fave foods to do it with?
erm?
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:25:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sncdl/erm/
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Lol so Human Geography requires us to learn about food like y’all do i even have to learn about eating disorders like come on. HAHAHAHA
Thinspo Tuesday October 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:09:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn8d8/thinspo_tuesday_october_30_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 30, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:08:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn85a/daily_food_diary_october_30_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 30, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Been here before under different user but back on my bullshit
/u/Skinnyfaerie
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:07:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn7uo/been_here_before_under_different_user_but_back_on/
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Hey guys!
I was here before and then I sorta recovered because I was gonna get blocked from my last semester of nursing school 🙂🙃
Then I got really fat because I had no self control from January on but now I hate myself and I’m relapsing.
Wanna get back to my lw last year and then some. Hopefully will take 6mo if no one interferes.
My GP said I'm fine??
/u/annjovi
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:05:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn7d1/my_gp_said_im_fine/
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Ok so today I gathered up all my courage, texted my best friend that I think I am depressed and that I am going to my GP to talk about it. She was lovely, called me, told me it will all be good etc (god I love her) so I went, shaky and nervous, I have never openly talked about my mental health to anyone. So I talk to my doctor crying and shit, talking about me feeling hopeless, having no motivation for anything feeling sad and lonely a lot, even telling him that I have suicidal thoughts etc. And he tells me: "Oh look at you what kind of problems can you have, you are a young beautiful woman. Yeah you have these dark thoughts sometimes just let them pass and live your life." In short. Then he gave me a walnut extract, told me to not eat sugar and get enough healthy fats and sent me away saying that there's nothing wrong with me. I feel so fucking stupid for even speaking up. Granted, I didn't say a word about my ED, I am not quite ready but idk, now I can suffer quietly again?? My best friend already sent me links for therapists nearby, offering me to call there for me (she knows I have terrible phone anxiety) I told her not yet I'll look on the internet. My mom doesn't even know yet and my insurance is still with my parents. Idk what to do. :( It just feels like trying to finally get help was a mistake. Idk if this fits here, but this is such a nice community and I needed to vent :(
Please share your experience regarding bulky calves.
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:03:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn6tn/please_share_your_experience_regarding_bulky/
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So I’ve been overweight/obese my whole life and I have super super bulky calves from carrying all the weight around all my life. I’m losing weight now but I still dislike my calves. Has anyone else been through the same thing and what happened to your calves when you slimmed down?
[Rant/Rave] Binged for the millionth time + Looooong vent
/u/cattivity
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:02:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn6gr/binged_for_the_millionth_time_looooong_vent/
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I just need to vent.
What in the ever loving fuck is going on with me?
The past two weeks have gone like this.
One day: eat 800 cals
Next day: eat 400000000000000000+ calories (obvi exaggerating, but legit like 3-4 k)
It's so upsetting. I keep obsessively putting my info in losertown.com to make sure I can get in the 10's at least by birthday. I don't care that it's not 100% accurate, it gives me the illusion that I'm in control and I need it rn. I've probably done this at least 50 times today not even joking lmao.
Just this night I ate fucking, half of a pizza, king size kit kat and peanut butter m&ms. But that's not even the worst of it. During the day I ate a couple french pastries given to me free by my job. At first it was like, alright, this is fine, I have to sample shit for my job anyway. I told myself that I wouldn't be strict during the week of halloween because it's my favorite holiday and I just wanted to enjoy it with my friends and not worry about counting calories.
Welp, that plan is out the window because apparently I eat like an obese horse when given any leeway. I don't remember even overeating like this when I was obese. I at least would stop eating when I felt sick!
Now I feel sick. Can't sleep. I have class in 4 hours but I won't go because I don't even want to be looked at bc I feel so fucking disgusting. And I have had no sleep because I feel so physically ill from all the food.
I am so stressed y'all. I can't stop stressing over the holidays. My parents are divorced. I now have a longterm boyfriend, so that's like triple the amount of family gatherings that will revolve around food, and I've already been doing so awful! I feel like I'm going to rip my hair out. I need to start restricting quick or I'm fucked.
[Discussion] Can people please share their gym routine to lose weight and burn fat the fastest.
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 06:01:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn686/can_people_please_share_their_gym_routine_to_lose/
---
Whenever I’m at the gym I’ve been doing at least an hour of elliptical. For me it burns more calories in an hour than running. I’m still 5kgs away from a healthy bmi so idk if I should do weight training because I don’t want to get bulky. What do you guys do at the gym? Just cardio or weight training as well.
[Help] I think I look prettier when I'm fasting/restricting. Is this body dysmorphia?
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Tue Oct 30 05:47:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn31t/i_think_i_look_prettier_when_im/
---
Even when I haven't lost any weight on the scale, I see my face like it's another person. Normally I hate my face, but it's like I've got the camera beauty filter on, so my flaws aren't as noticeable.
Is this body dysmorphia? I don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might have another problem to add to my ever-increasing list!
[Discussion] DAE: Follow and unfollow the same thinspo insta accounts
/u/MsFaceless [176cm | CW 58kg | BMI 18.3 | GW 50kg | 28F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 05:45:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sn2ii/dae_follow_and_unfollow_the_same_thinspo_insta/
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Title says it pretty much,
I have some friends on insta which I follow, but for the most part I just follow and unfollow the same thinspo pages on the regular depending on my mood.
Sometimes I'm like: No thinspo is making me worse/more disordered I need to stop.
Other times I'm like: I need the thinspo cause I ate today, or I felt like shit today (which is most days).
[Other] I'm so disgusted with my body, I lost the ability to nut!
/u/sriracha_henny [5'2"/157 | CW: 149/68 | UGW: 97/44 | LW: 129 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 04:43:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9smonv/im_so_disgusted_with_my_body_i_lost_the_ability/
---
Hey all. This dumpster fire of a post is all about how I lost the ability to masturbate because I'm so turned off by the idea of my own body that I literally can't imagine anyone having sex with me. I can't even close my eyes and just *feel it* because I feel like I'm being suffocated by own lard. I used to be able to just rub one out no problem, even though I've been fatter, but I guess I've finally woken up to just how blubbery I am, and now I'll probably become celibate. I guess it makes sense, since I've mentally committed myself to never being in a relationship until I hit my GW, but that's so much weight loss required that it's effectively never gonna happen. Maybe this is the kick in the ass I need to start my next fast? Who even knows. Thanks for listening ladies
Im so disgusted with your body, I lost the ability to nut
/u/sriracha_henny [5'2"/157 | CW: 149/68 | UGW: 97/44 | LW: 129 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 04:42:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9smoiq/im_so_disgusted_with_your_body_i_lost_the_ability/
---
Hey all. This dumpster fire of a post is all about how I lost the ability to masturbate because I'm so turned off by the idea of my own body that I literally can't imagine anyone having sex with me. I can't even close my eyes and just *feel it* because I feel like I'm being suffocated by own lard. I used to be able to just rub one out no problem, even though I've been fatter, but I guess I've finally woken up to just how blubbery I am, and now I'll probably become celibate. I guess it makes sense, since I've mentally committed myself to never being in a relationship until I hit my GW, but that's so much weight loss required that it's effectively never gonna happen. Maybe this is the kick in the ass I need to start my next fast? Who even knows. Thanks for listening ladies
[Rant/Rave] I shouldn't be mad at my mom for not having an appetite.
/u/brbaaaa
Created: Tue Oct 30 04:35:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9smn35/i_shouldnt_be_mad_at_my_mom_for_not_having_an/
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But I was. And god I feel terrible now. I was so irritated that she was eating tiny bites when we went out to eat earlier (which was big deal/rare occasion for me, not that it excuses my awful behavior) and I was angry because I felt like such a gluttonous pig in front of her. I get mad whenever people care about what I'm eating or how much I eat but I basically did the same to her. I'm a hypocrite. She just wasn't feeling well, but I barely talked to her or even smiled the entire time we were eating. I'm going to apologize to her and explain what I was feeling but I still feel so bad.
[Discussion] DAE gain a few pounds after eating chipotle / salty foods? If so, halp?
/u/WantsToPetAllTheDogs [5’3| CW 105 | SW 123 | GW 100 | F24]
Created: Tue Oct 30 04:20:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9smk1n/dae_gain_a_few_pounds_after_eating_chipotle_salty/
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Split my chipotle salad into 3 servings, but still binged on chips. Any tips on flushing this extra weight? Figured chipotle would be healthier than a burger but here I am, 4 pounds heavier after a week of big dinners
[Rant/Rave] Friends mum said I looked thinner, didn't mean it as a compliment but damn i took it as one.
/u/lostandlonley333
Created: Tue Oct 30 03:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sm6j2/friends_mum_said_i_looked_thinner_didnt_mean_it/
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I see her mum regularly but today when I went to say hi she said "You look thinner, like in your face... at least since last I saw you." She looked so concerned while saying it that it makes me think Im almost at the point of being a noticeably thin girl.
Just the motivation I needed after a week of binging.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Eating dinner around my mum is so triggering and it hurts so bad and I don't know what to do
/u/voidvole
Created: Tue Oct 30 03:07:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sm5k8/rant_eating_dinner_around_my_mum_is_so_triggering/
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Some background: I'm 22, been in anorexia recovery for ~18 months, am currently at my highest weight in years, and still live with my parents thanks to a melange of mental health issues that have thus far prevented me from moving out (but I'm doing my absolute best to get the hell outta there soon because it’s nightmare).
One of the strict rules of living at home is that I cook dinner and eat at the table together with my family every night. But my chronically ill mother, who has difficulty eating (as well as an ED history), has been having tinier and tinier dinner portions to the point where being forced to watch her and eat around her is a brutal, agonising torment and I just... I don't know what to do. I can't bring it up with any of my family members because talking about my ED around them is too painful. I've just this minute left the table and all I want to do is bawl my eyes out because *I can't take it anymore* and I'm so alone; looking at my mum poking and prodding and never finishing her minuscule toddler-sized portion while I eat a regular-sized meal (like the disgusting pig that I am) makes me want to fucking kill myself or starve myself until I end up back in hospital with an NG tube in my fatass face again.
I don't know. This is kind of a pointless post. But it hurts. It really really hurts and I have nobody to talk to except my therapist and I desperately need a hug.
[Rant/Rave] I think i hate my friends//Weaboo culture fasting game
/u/homgerygorl
Created: Tue Oct 30 02:24:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sly14/i_think_i_hate_my_friendsweaboo_culture_fasting/
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I only talk to one person right now that doesnt make me pissed just by saying "hi". I ***dont*** like anime. Or manga. And every time i talk to my friends i intend on seriously opening up about how ive relapsed and instead the convo is fucking INSTANTLY about anime (or god forbid, hentai).
Any time i try and change the topic they just don't fucking give it up. And its always just the guys too i can dm my (female) friends A or J and they understand entirely (but i try not too because they also have EDs and im worried ill trigger them). And they KNOW i dont fucking like anime. Im glad they have an outlet of some kind but for fucks sake theres TWENTY FOUR people in the server why do you gotta tell ME about it????
And thats not enough they have to more or less bully us with it too. For instance: There was a girl we all used to he friends with, R, and R had an eating disorder and was a short and sweet petite girl (tbh she was such a fucking goal). R also happened to have a daddy kink and they would always call her a loli because she "looked and acted like a little kid". Incase you dont know, "Loli" is literally a little kid in anime. I was always SO uncomfortable because of it and iirc she even ASKED them not to call her a loli but they would even try and ping her by saying "@R#0000 hey loli" and shit it was just so fucking annoying and disrespectful.
Ive decided every time they bring up anime or hentai, interrupt the convo with an anime meme, or decide part 6 of JoJos Bizzare Adventure is more important than literally whatever else we were talking about, im just gonna add another hour to my fast.
Does anyone else have friends like this though? Like not even necessarily weeaboo friends like friends that just keep interrupting because of what they like
[Other] Am I 2 months pregnant of have my ovaries finally taken a hint and dried up? A novel by me.
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Tue Oct 30 02:14:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9slwjc/am_i_2_months_pregnant_of_have_my_ovaries_finally/
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[Help] so confused???
/u/glossipgirl [5"1 | 107.8 | 20.4 | 6.6 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 30 02:12:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9slw85/so_confused/
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so recently i've been exercising a lot more (like 30min - 1hr a day compared to,,, nothing)
not enough to gain muscle or anything i didn't think, especially as i've been high restricting
but the past few days when i weighed myself i'd gained weight??
i don't think it was food weight, especially not today as i've burned more than i've eaten
if anyone knows it'd be much appreciated because ya girl is STRESSED
Just started dating a new guy
/u/myworkhandle
Created: Tue Oct 30 02:02:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sluid/just_started_dating_a_new_guy/
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I'm still in love with my ex, but he treated me like shit. New guy treats me like a queen and I've never experienced this before. I feel like I don't deserve it. Today he called me "thin as a rail", my ex would have NEVER said that. I'm realizing how undeserving I have felt my whole life. This is why I drink and starve.
A visual representation of how much I binged last night UGH
/u/sinkholehoe
Created: Tue Oct 30 01:10:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sllmf/a_visual_representation_of_how_much_i_binged_last/
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https://i.redd.it/yl1s0ac0w9v11.jpg
[Discussion] Lets play a "make the best wrap for the least amount of calories" game.
/u/dortuh
Created: Tue Oct 30 00:56:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9slj05/lets_play_a_make_the_best_wrap_for_the_least/
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Ok yes I'm asking for help. I finally found some 50 calorie tortillas but I've forgotten everything I wanted to put in them. Wish beans and guac had low cal alternatives...
I'm thinking spinach, tomato, cucumber, onion...
But I need something good in there, and cedars unfortunately discontinued their fat free hummus and no I cannot make my own.
I will love you all for throwing out everything that comes to mind.
[Help] I ate a whole bag of Lays then took laxative
/u/MapleMarigold
Created: Tue Oct 30 00:53:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9slifb/i_ate_a_whole_bag_of_lays_then_took_laxative/
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So I binged today. I had a full day of eating, I had some buttery potato pancakes, a chocolate bar, a cake pop and full bag of lays. After the Lays I was overcome with guilt I went searching for laxative. Unfortunately the only thing available in my house right now is Milk of Magnesia, so I've been taking that followed by a full glass of water. This has happened 3 days in a row now. I refuse to throw up and my stomach is in absolute havoc right now.
Halp, does anyone have any tips on something salty that is very low calorie?
[Rant/Rave] Venting about jealousy of bf’s stepsister
/u/mysticgirl1
Created: Tue Oct 30 00:27:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sldtt/venting_about_jealousy_of_bfs_stepsister/
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So my boyfriend has a stepsister the same age as him, and I’m jealous of her, since last Christmas. I know I know, jealousy is unattractive and I am taking steps to be untouchable. I wasn’t jealous before last Christmas and I had been dating her brother for a year and a half before last Christmas, but at one point during the holiday dinner, she started gushing about how hot my boyfriend was, in front of about ten family members. I was like 👀👀👀.
She is a gymnast, 5’6” and 97 pounds. I know her weight because he told me. She has literally always been “too skinny” and not to mention she is seriously stunning, like her face, the cutest nose I have ever seen... she has a huge thigh gap and Double D’s(even though I prefer my own boobs at least, I want small boobs). Did I mention she has a super creative and trendy sense of style, or that she is super confident and outgoing, or that she works in a law office here in town(we are all 21)?Just ugh basically.
Venting jealousy about boyfriends stepsister
/u/brandyisabella
Created: Tue Oct 30 00:10:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9slaph/venting_jealousy_about_boyfriends_stepsister/
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So my boyfriend has a stepsister the same age as him, and I’m extremely and obsessively jealous of her, since last Christmas. I wasn’t before that and I had been dating her brother for a year and a half before last Christmas, but at one point during the Christmas dinner she started gushing about how hot my boyfriend was. I was like 👀👀👀.
She is a gymnast, 5’6” and 97 pounds. I know her weight because he told me. She has literally always been “too skinny” and not to mention she is seriously stunning, like her face, the cutest nose I have ever seen... she has a huge thigh gap and Double D’s, tiny feet and tiny shoulders. Did I mention she has a super creative and trendy sense of style, or that she is super confident and outgoing, or that she works in a law office here in town(we are all 21)?Just ugh basically.
Does 10 pounds make that big of a difference if you are skinny already?
/u/kstar1996
Created: Mon Oct 29 23:58:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sl8g0/does_10_pounds_make_that_big_of_a_difference_if/
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I recently lost 10 pounds due to stress and I have so much loose skin on my face.
Is this normal?
I'm 5'6" F 22
I went from 114->105
​
0.75 lbs per day....
/u/dino_bones72 [5'3" | cw 53.4kg | gw 48kg | -11kg |bmi 19.8 | 30s F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 23:38:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sl4kf/075_lbs_per_day/
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Title pretty much sums it up. I've just realised I'm losing about 0.75lbs per day. Even I'm starting to think it's a bit fast. Should I be overly concerned? Is this heart-stoppingly dangerous or does it just explain why I'm so bloody cold? 🙄
It's nice to have the fast and steady drop, but I'd rather it didn't end in the fast and steady keel over at the end of it.
Ps need to update my my flair (again) but it's now 52.4kg
Can't relate to normal people anymore in a ton of aspects of life
/u/ci-fre [5' | 75 lb | 15.63 new BMI | F | age 19]
Created: Mon Oct 29 23:09:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9skyv6/cant_relate_to_normal_people_anymore_in_a_ton_of/
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I find it increasingly hard to relate to "normal people" (ie, non-disordered people) right now. I can't imagine participating in a lot of food-associated events at all; I have a lot of anxiety eating with people so I spend so much time alone. I don't think I will ever have a meal with friends or go on a dinner date or go to a party because it would get in the way of my scheduled meals and weighing food...
And not just in eating/mealtime posts... I can't relate to other people's posts about their hobbies and interests and pets. Even after I started, idk, harm reduction or something (well I'm not sure if I'd say I'm recovering since I don't plan on eating like a normal person any time soon) I still don't feel like I have the interest to do anything besides education/career-focused things and ED-focused things. I don't even think I'm going to get married because, again, it's very triggering... sigh.
It's complicated. I feel like I have no interest in these things because of my ED, so it doesn't exactly *bother* me per se that I can't mentally handle them, but I feel very isolated from "normal people" sometimes, if that makes sense.
Anyone else relate?
Epiphany :/
/u/Ednasucks [180cm | CW 75kg | BMI 23 | Lost: 53kg | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 23:08:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9skykq/epiphany/
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After like hating myself and preparing myself for a 3 course dinner last night (which got cancelled last minute but I had already written the day off and eaten cake for a class end of degree party) and another dinner tonight (also cancelled) I was thrilled cause not eating today at all which is great also because I have ED clinic appointment tomorrow.
Then the kid I babysit picked me some flowers and instantly I softened my fasting stance and considered eating dinner.
I realised affection makes me feel like I can eat. I already knew rejection made me starve but affection or any sign of it makes me feel worthy and that sucks and of course anorexia is already poking holes in that.
[Rant/Rave] What do people think asking "are you eating?" is going to do???
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Mon Oct 29 23:07:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9skycc/what_do_people_think_asking_are_you_eating_is/
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Okay so, I've lost an okay amount of weight pretty fast. It is noticeable.
People at work, my parents and professors I'm praticularly close with keep saying " Wow you've gotten thin! You are eating right??"
...like what do they think I'm going to say??? Like I guess technically I am eating so when I say yes I'm not lying but holy shit people need to get learn to be more tactful, especially if they are actually concerned.
Has anyone else experienced something like this?
[Rant/Rave] Fasting: take two! Aaaaaand action!
/u/mmblarg
Created: Mon Oct 29 23:06:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sky2w/fasting_take_two_aaaaaand_action/
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Did my first 6 day fast that ended on the 19th - didn’t go perfectly though. I had zero cal Monster energy drinks, tea with honey, and completely ignored my electrolytes. Ended the fast early after massive headaches and nausea and then immediately fell into a binge cycle that lasted all of the week leading up to today.
So this is 6 day fast take 2! Gonna keep up electrolytes, stay away from all drinks except lightly flavored water (sweetened with stevia so at least the better options for artificial sweeteners) and have a better exit strategy! Day 1 has been a screaming success! Hopefully i lose the 8 pounds i gained back this last week and maybe a little more just to say i did better than last time
Wish me luck guys! And any fasting advice is always hugely appreciated!
[Goal] i am now under 90 pounds
/u/wetbookshelf [5’3 | CW: 89 | BMI: 15.8]
Created: Mon Oct 29 22:44:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9skthl/i_am_now_under_90_pounds/
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i am sorry for posting this but i dont rly have anyone in my life i can share this with for obvious reasons. i just weighed myself and i’m at 89.4 pounds. i didn’t even know i could possibly be this weight. i have officially lost 20 pounds since january. thank u vyvanse!!
also: for anyone (probably nobody lol) wondering ab my last posts, i never ended up going to the doctor or gaining weight. i don’t really wanna think about the day that i have to. but one day at a time i suppose
[Other] restricting is easier now because I'm KINDA heartbroken. anyone else feel the same?
/u/sioclip [5'1 |100 | 18.9 |F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 21:48:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9skge3/restricting_is_easier_now_because_im_kinda/
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I feel like this guy is losing interest in me): he hasn't been talking to me much but I don't want to message him all the time because he might be busy or something.
but hes really caring and still says he loves me? or he probably feels bad for me or something ):
but hey on the bright side I haven't been going over my calorie limit lol soooo
[Rant/Rave] >gets called thicc >IMMEDIATELY TRIGGERED
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 140 | GW 125]
Created: Mon Oct 29 21:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9skb97/gets_called_thicc_immediately_triggered/
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man i was feelin good today maybe a bit too good have been thinking of adding protein shakes so my hair stays in n sent my friend progress pics n he made a joke abt how I don't like the word thicc while generally flirting and I dunno if he was talking about the before pic (bc i was like haha yea i don't like it n he was like then dont look so nice and I'm like internally HAHA DO U MEAN IM STILL FAT) but time to starve anyway (after my exam tomorrow) wow i did this to my self before/after pics are so cursed like let's all forget i was fat af ok guys,
A strange kind of nostalgia
/u/sky-circles
Created: Mon Oct 29 21:17:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sk8ix/a_strange_kind_of_nostalgia/
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I'm not sure if I have an eating disorder, I've never been diagnosed with one. But if I had to make an (un)educated guess, I'd say I probably have something like EDNOS. Or just a really awful relationship with food and my body. In the last 6 or so years I've alternate between extreme restrict/binge cycles, straight up binging, and occasionally purge or overuse laxatives. Sometimes I have stretches where things are mostly okay, I eat "normally" in terms of 3 meals a day, but usually still overeat in terms of calories. The feelings rarely change though; the stress and the anxiety and the guilt and the shame.
Lately though, as I go through what I think is a relapse from "kinda okay" to "mostly not okay" I can't help but feel a bittersweet nostalgia for how things were at the beginning of my spiral downwards with food. I was 13 and it was summer and for the first few months I could restrict for days on end. I remember suddenly realizing it had been weeks or months since I'd eaten bread, or cheese, or pasta or much of anything really, other than chicken salads and sad "garlic shrimp pasta" made with zucchini noodles about 6 small shrimp and laughing cow cheese. Looking back I think I acted slightly manic. I remember lots of late nights reading accountability threads on MPA, accountability group chats with other teenage girls where we all supported each other, and lots and lots of listening to Fiona apple and pacing in my cold room at night when I was too hungry to sleep. The binging started slowly, and then became more frequent. Eventually I stopped losing weight, then gained weight, then gained //a lot// of weight. And so I never really got help, I was never sick enough. But that's not how it felt.
​
I don't know if this post has much of a point. I've just been thinking a lot about this lately. Things seemed so pure and untainted back then, if you know what I mean. I lost weight and spent a lot of time thinking about how perfect things would be when I was thin, how being skinny would shove all the things I hated about myself, my general too-much ness, and squash it down inside me. I didn't realize that with those first few weeks of floaty lightheaded manic starvation I signed myself up for a lifetime of hell. If I could go back, knowing what I know now, I'm honestly not sure what I would do. Part of me wants to slap the hell of of 13 year old me and tell her to get some help and stop while she can. But I also wish I could go back to that first 6 months again. In a strange way I really miss it.
​
Sorry that this is so long, and doesn't have much of a point.
TL;DR: My life is one long fucked up relationship with food. I wish I could go back to the beginning, when things were simpler.
​
​
Why I love this subreddit
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|119lbs|19.5|-17lbs|F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 21:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sk7ax/why_i_love_this_subreddit/
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I love that we can just be 100% real here. When I was in treatment, we weren't allowed to talk about b/p or restriction in group, we could only say that we had "engaged in behaviors". We were allowed to go into more detail with our therapists, but none of them had eating disorders, so it wasn't the same. There's also the sad reality that, if you're not ready for recovery, you don't have anyone to really turn to. Here I can just be like "I just binged so hard y'all" and people will be like "BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK"
Like, ideally, I'd totally ready for recovery and would unsubscribe to this subreddit but until then, y'all are the only people who really get me.
PSA: Refeeding syndrome is real and is worse than you think
/u/isukatdarksouls9 [5'6 | CW: 108 | 17 | HW: 140 | M]
Created: Mon Oct 29 21:01:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sk4g2/psa_refeeding_syndrome_is_real_and_is_worse_than/
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After reaching my GW finally, I decided to start maintaining...which was a terrible mistake. Going from 300-850ish kcal a day to 1000-1200 cold turkey is NOT SMART. I am currently 15lbs heavier from fluid retention, whole body is aching, migraines, dizzyness, passing out on the drive home from work, and also heart pains so bad I cant breath for minutes at a time (AKA: refeeding syndrome).
Please please please. Be careful when upping your calories. I am lucky Im not in a coma or dead right now tbh. Please consult a doctor before any refeeding or therapy. Its not worth the risk. Our bodies are fragile in this state. Hugs and kisses lovelies. please be safe
Also, any tips for losing water retention?? I cant even bend my knees right now 😭😭😭 so much for that GW....
[Help] What do you do when your heart has been crushed and you have no friends?
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:51:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sk1ye/what_do_you_do_when_your_heart_has_been_crushed/
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I’m very, very crushed and very, very lonely.
Feels like someone opened my chest and threw a ball of gravity (fuck I don’t know...) in there and it hurts. I don’t have anyone to turn to in this god forsaken place and I am now parked in a random parking lot, completely alone. Feeling like a freak. A pathetic, lonely freak.
I have a lot of paper work to finish and focus on so this just sucks.
Any advice, please?
Planning rarely works
/u/flrssvgs
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:48:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sk0yl/planning_rarely_works/
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First off, I binged on Saturday night at a party and I’ve been trying to get down to my pre bloat weight. I planned on eating maybe 450 tips today so that it would go by faster. Of course nothing ever goes at planned.
Tonight we went out for my boyfriends birthday with my mom, but I didn’t know until about 3 so I was eating like I didn’t need to eat later. So I was at 400, but managed to plan ahead and get a 220 appetizer at the restaurant. Everything was going good and I even resisted cheesecake and pasta and I thought I was home free. Then my mother pulls out a bag of peanut butter chocolate bars that my favorite aunt made for me (And I haven’t had since I was maybe 16).
I had planned so well and suddenly something out of left field ruined it. I ate half of the bag right as soon as I got home and only c/s one after. 6000 steps later and I still feel awful. I’ve been trying to get back to a pre binge weight since last Thursday when I had a maintenance day.
I wish everyone wasn’t a freaking enabler but mostly I wish I was made of stronger stuff.
Would eating just veg (1200cals below) everyday most likely cause weight loss no matter what even if the person is unable to exercise?
/u/laceandlatex
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:47:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sk0sr/would_eating_just_veg_1200cals_below_everyday/
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[Rant/Rave] I feel like a failure
/u/lilqueenheartz
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:39:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjyia/i_feel_like_a_failure/
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Every day or so I check this sub to see so many people having successful fasts and restricting for months at a time while I sit on my ass, a fat blob who can barely do 30 hrs anymore and has been restricting under 1000 for years (with a few binges here and there) but still on the normal/overweight line. I feel like I can’t even make myself miserable correctly and I just fucking can’t with myself at this point. 7 years in and still not in the double digits. I’m not mad, just disappointed.
[Help] i can see i've gained weight because of math, but dont wanna weigh myself
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:125|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:39:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjyhp/i_can_see_ive_gained_weight_because_of_math_but/
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I'm 3650 calories total over maintenance for the past few days because I've been going out with a visiting friend and also I binged tonight.
A whole pound :( i dont even wanna weigh myself... i have awful willpower.... this happened so fast... I can't get closer than like 5lbs from my goal :((((
[Rant/Rave] Binging literally makes me wanna die...
/u/keep_it_poppin
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:38:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjyf6/binging_literally_makes_me_wanna_die/
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Worst feeling ever. Nothing else in life gives me that feeling of “I wish I would just die” / “I wish this would just kill me”. Pathetic pointless and obviously self-torture. Not during eating but after finishing and it’s time to either get it out or... let it sit. I can’t believe I forget how horrible it feels
Tfw when your coming down from that binge high but you keep eating in order get rid of your binge food so it won't tempt you later
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|119lbs|19.5|-17lbs|F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:18:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjt0e/tfw_when_your_coming_down_from_that_binge_high/
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I literally just binged on an entire bag of rice cakes (which sucks because they used to be a safe food) and that triggered an even bigger binge episode where I spent what little money was in my bank account on junk food from the vending machine. I'm halfway through my binge food and now its not even enjoyable but I keep eating it and guzzling down water so I can purge it later. I'm such a hot mess lmao.
[Rant/Rave] You’re so health conscience !
/u/Shewantstolive
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:03:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjoyl/youre_so_health_conscience/
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My mother in-law finds it funny that I’m “so healthy conscience “ but I also vape nicotine . First of all, I exercise because I’m “skinny conscience “ I’m “I feel like a fat fuck everyday and everyone sees it “. I’m “oh I’m gonna binge on all kinds of candy” conscience . I am not health conscience . There is a major fucking difference . Lol.
DAE feel like your body parts don't belong somehow
/u/kalianda
Created: Mon Oct 29 20:01:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjogl/dae_feel_like_your_body_parts_dont_belong_somehow/
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something weird happened to me where it felt like my face wasn't fully attached to my body, like a blob of face-shaped stuff that was just sitting on top of my real face 😢 and then when my boyfriend asked something innocuous about my mascara, I freaked out and almost started crying, afraid that it might be visible to other people how weird my face was. in a subconscious attempt to continue the conversation without turning my face to him I accidentally knocked over some stuff. at that point I ran off to the shower awkwardly, thinking that hot water on my face would wake me up and comfort me like it always does. I ended up crying in the shower, because my hot water on my face only reinforced the weird sensation that it wasn't "my" face. just a weird blob in the place where my face should be.
is that what body dysmorphia feels like? IT SUCKED.
[Rant/Rave] Public eating- coworker issues\ bf
/u/lavender___cat
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:53:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjm31/public_eating_coworker_issues_bf/
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I'm terrified of eating front if others. I wouldn't eat school lunch. It started when I was 12 and made eye contact with a boy I thought was cute when I was in the middle of taking a bite.
Now I'm in my mid twenties and I'm so frustrated with myself.
My new coworkers are office ladies who love potlucks and there's one like every two weeks. Not to be mean, but they are larger. Issue is, I think they think I'm a snob because I don't eat or place small amounts on my plate (if my my anxiety isn't too bad so I don't look RUDE). This lady gave me a look last time because I said no thank you to something. I feel like I can't breathe because there's one tomorrow. I'm trying not to cry. I wanna do well at this job and have people talk to me because I feel like they are avoiding me... But it's not like I can tell them my issue.
Also I'm seeing this cute guy since Jan who is open minded. I've been really close to him and felt comfy eating small bits, but I made eye contact with him mid-bite... He's going to get sick of me.
I'm not underweight rn so he prob thinks I'm faking for attention. I'm obviously living comfortably.
Sorry for grammar errors. I just want to scream
Normal BMI
/u/dallasdreamer
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:48:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjkp5/normal_bmi/
---
So, I used to be 240 lbs (4'11 F). Now I'm 119.6 lbs. I've officially cut my weight in half and have a normal BMI. I feel weird, because I've been obese since late elementary school. I feel like I've hit this weird second puberty (I'm 23). I don't recognize myself and I feel just kind of jaded to all of it. When i look in the mirror, it takes a minute to process that its me. I think I'm just kind of in a rut, my eating is getting less frequent again, but I *am* eating, so at least there's that.
But hey, here's to losing half my bodyweight and being able to wear almost whatever I want now! I'm about to go on a trip see my mom for the first time in over a year, and she's never seen me thin in person. Shes planned a big shopping trip with me to get some nicer clothes that actually fit. Honestly, I'm more excited to go shopping with her and not wanting to cry by the end than I am for the new clothes.
[Discussion] Irrational fears?
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:45:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjk2x/irrational_fears/
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I have fears of food, I always have. That someone might have put something in it, trying to slowly poison me, or just make me sick. I don't like food that's been touched by my brother or anyone else. I don't like to share drinks, and yesterday I left my water bottle unattended at a kids Halloween event and I could not get myself to drink it but I tried to say something to my dad and it felt stupid so we both didn't acknowledge it. I just brush it off and don't say anything most of my life. But then there's bugs..
I can't handle the thought of bugs in my food, or leaving eggs and feces behind. I won't eat it if I think it has something. It all sounds so stupid I know.
But our cabinets had SO MANY these little bugs and larvae in old oatmeal that we hadn't eatin in months. And I wanted to make soup with bullion cubes and I found larvae crawling in the package. Just one wiggly white worm thing. Then I found bug shells in my individually packaged splenda.
My dad says there beetles. I can understand things that haven't been touched in months. BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.
And he gets irritated that I wouldn't clean them up and started crying when I saw them in the oatmeal. I can't fucking even begin to explain myself to him. And I don't feel like I should have to.
So he got irritated after I started crying. Threw out the stuff in the cabinet. Wiped them out with probably nothing but a paper towel and got new liner to put in there.
And now if it's not in plastic sealed then I have to think about this. And even then it's still in the back of my mind.
Is this a normal fear? Does anyone else feel like this? I want to fucking scream thinking about it.
Can anybody estimate the damage I've done?
/u/cattivity
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:39:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjicx/can_anybody_estimate_the_damage_ive_done/
---
I lost 60 lbs. I used to be 185. Im 65 inches tall and a couple weeks ago I was at 125 but of course I ruined that with binging for like a week. I'm planning on letting myself eat "normally" for the rest of this week because it's halloween and I'm seeing family and shit. I'm planning on restricting starting on the 1st. How much weight do you guys think I will gain from this?
I have accepted that I will gain even though it terrifies me. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing I'm going to go right back to restricting as soon as I can.
The problem is if I try to eat normally I will easily pack on like 3000 calories 🙃
Can anybody estimate so I'm prepared for just how much I'm going to hate myself
[Rant/Rave] Why is there no in between
/u/cattivity
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:35:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjh5m/why_is_there_no_in_between/
---
Why can't I just eat like a normal person why is it that i either overeat way too much or starve???? I just want to live like a normal person :/ why does food have to control me?
Ugh
[Rant/Rave] It feels like I’m getting lied to about my weight. I’d rather you be honest than tell me I look thin.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:32:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjgjk/it_feels_like_im_getting_lied_to_about_my_weight/
---
I don’t know if it’s my distorted view of myself or not but I just want people to be honest with me. Don’t fucking tell me I look thin when I (probably?) have a double chin. Don’t tell me I’m skinny when I have a stomach that sticks out. Just stop lying to me and be honest. People would rather like me skinnier than how I look now. I feel as if people liked me better when I was skinnier. I just want to be accepted.
[Rant/Rave] I feel like no matter what I do I will NEVER look tiny at my height.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 104| HW 142| GW 95 ]
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:23:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjdw1/i_feel_like_no_matter_what_i_do_i_will_never_look/
---
Growing up I always felt huge. I was this height since about 5th grade and was always picked on for being so tall, especially as a girl. I was always taller than the teacher in all class pictures and felt so ashamed. I was always pretty slim growing up but mostly because I grew tall so fast and it took a lot of catching up to put on appropriate weight. I used to HATE how skinny I was because everyone else was growing a chest and cute curves etc. I felt so out of place, even in HS. I was nowhere near as thin as I was in junior high....idk I just think I always felt like my body never belonged anywhere.
​
In my adult years I gained to be kinda skinny fat and then just awkward fat at my HW.
​
I look at myself and all I see is this huge person. I know body dysphoria etc. but I really just see a large person. I feel clunky and large all the time. I am just so depressed and feel like no matter what nothing will ever be good enough. I hope when I get to my GW I will finally feel something or look better. My thighs feel big, my stomach not flat, my body is just gross.
[Rant/Rave] Today just Fucking sucks
/u/kaereddit
Created: Mon Oct 29 19:20:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sjd4k/today_just_fucking_sucks/
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I binged yesterday (I don’t even know how many calories but I’m assuming at least ~2500 and had +1.9lbs the following morning because my metabolism is shit and the oNLY LOGICAL thing is for me to gain 2 lbs.
Then whatever the day is done- somewhat and I’m doing ok with the eating (low-key restricting because you know... life) and I’m on my way home with my boyfriend (we take public transport). The bus is packed - disgusting 0/10 wouldn’t recommend. He’s standing; I’m sitting & some girl asks him if I’m his girlfriend and he responds yes because well I’m his girlfriend. A couple minutes later seats further in the bus opened up so both of us could sit beside each other.
Fucking lucky for mE, the girl who asked + her friend were sitting close to where we were moving to and I hear the comments start when I’m moving towards the seat and about how they wouldn’t pick me for him and that he can do better. All that great fucking jazz.
tl;dr i binged, gained 1.9lbs, got called too ugly for my boyfriend
How many calories would a normal person eat on a treat yoself day?
/u/FreshOpportunity [5'1 | GW 105 |CW 110 | HW 145| F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 18:59:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sj72y/how_many_calories_would_a_normal_person_eat_on_a/
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My birthday is later this week and I've been dreaming about a binge which comes out to like 8k calories (the fact that people find eating 10k calories in a day a CHALLENGE is so beyond me lmao) but obviously ya girl still wants to be thin and shit. So, what would you guys consider a reasonable amount to eat as a treat? Maintenance calories? I'm very torn between just getting a cookie and a roll of sushi or doing chew and spit for my planned binge, pls give advice thank u
Coffee fuels my ED anxiety
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 18:58:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sj6x0/coffee_fuels_my_ed_anxiety/
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I’m new to drinking hot coffee and I’ve noticed lately when I get on that caffeine high, I start having more and more anxiety about my ED.
Last week I was a dumbass and had some coffee after 6 pm resulting in a sleepless night. While trying to sleep I ended up having what I think was a full-on anxiety attack about my anorexia, just thinking about how much further I could go before I just collapsed, or even worse died. I thought about how my family or classmates would find out.
Today I had my usual cup and I started creating slam poems about my ED (I don’t know, man.) I was also stressing how I’d get through this weekend as this past one was full of binging.
This sucks.
Universal decided I should be done with lunch
/u/TotallyNotARadar [6'1" | CW:110 | GW:105 | BMI: 13.86 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 18:42:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sj2h3/universal_decided_i_should_be_done_with_lunch/
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I was eating a grilled cheese and cookie for lunch, knocked over my water and ruined my food because you know what’s sadder than grilled cheese all alone? Wet grilled cheese all alone.
Honestly it was for the best that I stopped eating then, who the fuck knew a grilled cheese sandwich could have 500+ calories??
[Help] Please give me some nice words.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 87.6lbs| 14.1 | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 29 18:40:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sj1zz/please_give_me_some_nice_words/
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I weighed in at 87.6lbs last week, a full 2 pounds up from 5 days before that, having had two occasions of crazy-huge dinners in that time. Since then, I've been eating less than 1200kcal/day, some days barely 1000 (gotta compensate forever ahaha...), sleeping a lot, not feeling great, like maybe I'm not getting enough energy in. Fully expected my weight to be down to confirm that I'm not eating enough aaaaaand I'm up to 89 pounds.
My heart rate is 40, blood pressure 74/something, my ECG shows some kind of junction rhythm fuckery. My doctor is going to call my psychiatrist to discuss a possible hospital admission if things don't improve. But my weight, not only not going back down, but continuing to go up, even after restricting for a week. How can I convince myself I still need to eat? Why is the number on the scale up when all other signs point to the opposite being true? Fuck my life.
How long your vitasave shipments usually take?
/u/oneinyourlife
Created: Mon Oct 29 18:23:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9siwz1/how_long_your_vitasave_shipments_usually_take/
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If you live in the US, how long does it take for you to get your package from Vitasave after ordering? It's been over a week for me & still hasn't shipped, so just wanted to check to help ease my mild anxiety over it. Thanks x
[Help] help
/u/angelicsnake
Created: Mon Oct 29 18:04:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sirb2/help/
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ok i have to go to a club meeting tomorrow and there will be free pizza. fuck.
i’ve been binging for the last few MONTHS and today i finally restricted successfully and ate less than 600 calories.
i have to go, and seeing the pizza there will definitely trigger a binge, and im freaking out
[Help] How to avoid stress eating?
/u/thirteencat [5'3.5" | 107 | GW: 100 | UGW: 95| F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 18:01:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9siqkq/how_to_avoid_stress_eating/
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Every day I end up eating a ton of snacks and junk food after coming home from classes because of stress. Like I’m not even hungry but eating distracts me from having to think about school. I really want to stop so I’m able to eat regular meals rather than skipping them due to going over my calorie limit :(
[Discussion] Does it still count as fasting if I eat but purge immediately and thoroughly?
/u/keep_it_poppin
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sipsj/does_it_still_count_as_fasting_if_i_eat_but_purge/
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😩 I don’t wanna re-start my fast.....
All I think about is fuckin food and how much I hate myself for wanting food
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:57:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sipft/all_i_think_about_is_fuckin_food_and_how_much_i/
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What the fuck guys, I spend 90% of my waking life thinking about food, or listening to people talk about food, or planning a meal, or thinking about what I'll buy at the grocery store. I have a mini-binge (700-2500 calories) every day I give into eating anything, and I just hate it so god damn much.
I hate feeling full after I eat, and feeling the food inside me, I hate wanting to eat, I hate being so weak, I hate stalling all my progress because I'm a weak bitch, I hate looking like this, I hate feeling my fat fold over on itself when I sit down, and I hate that even as I sit here typing this, feeling my stomach full of food, I still feel empty and like I need more. God damn I feel like I'm closer to purging every day. I made all my progress either fasting or staying below 800/day, and I cannot get back into the restrict cycle for the fucking life of me.
I feel like my frame is naturally large?
/u/socialjusticeporn
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:46:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sim8v/i_feel_like_my_frame_is_naturally_large/
---
Idk it's hard to tell what I look like these days so is my frame naturally big? I want a small waist, so should I implement more cardio/yoga into my exercise routine?
[Rant/Rave] Please help me stop
/u/Musictomydick
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:45:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sim4k/please_help_me_stop/
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I’m fucking done, for the past two days I’ve binged massively and haven’t been able to stop (almost 3000 calories each day) . I’ve literally just brought a loaf of bread and pot of honey with me to bed and chowed down like a fucking pig. I had been doing so well. I had biked my fucking ass off today and burned 800 calories and ate nothing and then lo and behold as fucking usual I get stressed and have a drink and eat my body weight in carbs. I’m a fucking pig I just want to die. I had been eating under 1000 for the last couple of weeks and feel like shit when I see what people on here are getting to by the end of the day. I wish I had some fucking self control I’m so sick of being so fucking fat
Anyway here’s my stat update to try and stay accountable despite being so fucking embarrassed
5’3, 131 lbs, 2,605 calories (ugh 🤢) ugw: 110
Reasons to keep on track & not eat everything in sight
/u/bangsofsteel2 [5"3/BMI 19ish/ (made a new account)]
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:45:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9silvz/reasons_to_keep_on_track_not_eat_everything_in/
---
It's been a weird week. I'm going to make a list of them to keep myself on track when things seem hopeless & I'm struggling with mental hunger.
- Because it'll be okay.
- Because no taste of any food will suddenly dissappear from the earth if I don't consume it at a given moment.
- Because I can sleep off ravenous hunger or wait it out. Worst case scenario eat an apple, a plain tin of tuna.
- Because I could reach 100 by Christmas
- Calories in calories out, progress is inevitable.
- Food is expensive & I need to stretch out that student loan.
- Because I've done it before and can again.
- To take up less space when I'm home
- Rejecting food at home means I'm not indebted to my family
- To feel prettier again
- To be able to pull off short hair
- All those size 0s from when I was skinny that I still have
- To build control & self discipline
I'm going to come back to look at this when I feel like I'm losing control, because these reasons never really change for me. What are yours?
DAE Sleep-Eat?
/u/blehblehbleh67
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:33:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9siirb/dae_sleepeat/
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I restrict throughout the day (thanks OMAD) and try to keep my dinners low calorie. For years, even before ED, I have found myself waking up in the middle of the night and munching on anything “easy” - crackers, peanut butter, cookies, chips, occasionally leftover dinner. I don’t feel 100% conscious or in control of it, sometimes I don’t even remember it happens until I see wrappers in the morning. The only time it doesn’t really happen is if I have a few drinks before bed.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m wondering if it’s something I could bring up. Maybe you guys have some answers. It’s probably out of stress/restricting (though my restricting really isn’t that extreme).
[Rant/Rave] XXL rib cage? I was looking at this picture recently and all the lovely skinny girls have such nice torsos, I’ve been trying to figure out why even when I got to 100lbs I didn’t have the nice flat,flush dainty rib cage look. It clicked, is it just me or is my rib cage huge?
/u/littlegoldsmith
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:33:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9siima/xxl_rib_cage_i_was_looking_at_this_picture/
---
https://i.redd.it/l097u15hm7v11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hate the thought of being able to recover?
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:17:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sidou/i_hate_the_thought_of_being_able_to_recover/
---
As hellish and inconvenient as this awful disorder im almost attached to it. It's like a security blanket made of thorns. The idea of myself getting treatment is just..... kind of sickening. I know logically it'd be good for me and i'll probably go to recovery eventually (definitely not in the near future though) but i just.. dont..... want it. You know? The idea of even wishing for recovery makes me uncomfortable :/
Anyone else not able to get Ballet Beautiful on YouTube anymore?
/u/justiceforRandyMeeks [5'3" | CW: 108.4 | BMI: 19.2 | GW: 104 | 27F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 17:16:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sidj1/anyone_else_not_able_to_get_ballet_beautiful_on/
---
Freaking out a little because it was my planned workout for today and all the links show up as unavailable and I can't find it anywhere else except to buy it. Anyone know where I can get it for free? Ya girl needs her Ballet Beautiful.
Those of you who EC stack: how many days on/off do you do?
/u/MailingMaize [5'1.5 | CW: 106 | BMI 20.5 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:50:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9si5n9/those_of_you_who_ec_stack_how_many_days_onoff_do/
---
I know that tolerance develops, but the schedule floating around (you know the one) doesn't really have any time off for multiple months but that seems like a lot? What has your experience been? I would like to minimize harm with this.
Misremembering calorie counts?
/u/spooky-cheesecake
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:49:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9si59o/misremembering_calorie_counts/
---
I often remember my calorie counts as being higher than they actually were and it makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I'm guessing it comes from being afraid of thinking I'm eating less than I actually am? Idk.
But for example the other day I thought I ate 700 cals over maintenance and I was really upset about it, but when I checked back my total was actually 1700, which isn't that much over my maintenance. I guess the 7 just stood out in my head?
And what most often happens is I'll be SURE that I've been overeating all week, and then I check mfp and I've actually been under. And it's not a mfp glitch because I have a different habit tracker app where I also track if I was over my calorie goal...so I'm actually remembering it wrong after recording it in TWO separate apps, what the hell.
This happens to me a lot and I don't recall seeing anyone mention it specifically -- just curious if this happens to anyone else.
[Discussion] Said yes to a high calorie dessert when I EASILY could have avoided eating it.
/u/lostandlonley333 [5"2 | CW:108 | 19.9 | -30.6| F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:45:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9si4b5/said_yes_to_a_high_calorie_dessert_when_i_easily/
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So I have been seeing this guy for a short while and last night was invited for dinner with his parents, which was fine because I saved up my calories all day for this meal. After eating a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs we went up to his bedroom but he had to go back downstairs to get painkiller for his headache, he came back soon after and said "There's baklava downstairs if you want any". The option was completely mine, no one there to hold me accountable for eating or not, yet without even thinking I went downstairs and ate a piece of the very high calorie dessert. It was only once I had gotten home later that night when I realized what I just did.
Not sure what got into me and not sure if I like the fact I don't feel guilty about it. Without the constant voice of my ED telling me not to eat things I'm scared I will fall into normal eating habits and gain weight.
[Rant/Rave] Sprinkled salt on my cat
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm| 54kg | 18.5 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:29:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shzca/sprinkled_salt_on_my_cat/
---
Hi I’m drunk and binging I also just sprinkled salt on my cat HAHAAHAHAHA now I’m self harming because I’m such a fucking bith what the fuck have I dine I feel terrible I deserve to fuckget ng die
New Meds - suddenly losing weight EXCEPTIONALLY quickly
/u/Betweengreen [5'2.5" | 106 | 19.1 | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:24:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shxuc/new_meds_suddenly_losing_weight_exceptionally/
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So my psychiatrist added a medication called Wellbutrin. It's an old and common antidepressant.
I'm not sure it's done much for my depression. But it HAS caused me to lose a lot of weight very quickly. I think the reason is that it completely **irradicates** my appetite.
I actually sometimes *forget* to eat. I don't have cravings to binge at all *ever* anymore.
I don't even count calories anymore because I usually end up just eating a couple of tiny snacks throughout the day, when I start to feel lightheaded or lethargic.
Just thought I would share this gem with you guys! It's a very commonly prescribed antidepressant (I'm an RN) and would be very easy to be prescribed.
Oh **AND** I recently saw a commercial advertising a new weight-loss drug and Buproprion (Wellbutrin) was one of the components! So that solidified my theory for me. :) <3
[Discussion] DAE feel LESS attractive as they get skinnier?
/u/Betweengreen [5'2.5" | 106 | 19.1 | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:16:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shvgi/dae_feel_less_attractive_as_they_get_skinnier/
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So I used to be what people would consider "thick". Big thighs, big butt, ok sized bust. But I also had cellulite a tummy pouch and flabby arms. So it's not like I looked like Kim K or anything lol.
At any rate, my boyfriend always claimed I was "so hot" and loved my body. I thought he was just saying that cause like... he has to. Now that I've lost weight (And I'm only in the 19s) He constantly comments on my weight - in a negative way.
Like, "I miss your ass" or "Your thighs are too tiny" or "Ew I can feel your ribs".
It's crazy because those comments fuel me to continue losing weight while I also know I am becoming less and less attractive to my boyfriend. I mean my boobs are just non-existent. I do not feel sexually attractive. But I do feel light and feathery and just BETTER.
I see these other "Thick" girls and they look damn sexy. But I don't like being thick. I want to be small. and clean. This is the body I want.
I realize this thinking is probably backward - I'm naturally thick. My body TRIES to be thick. Right now, thick is in. Why don't I rock it? I just don't fucking want to.
Is it selfish to choose my preferred body type over what my boyfriend finds sexually attractive? While remembering that my preferred body type is only attainable through disordered eating and mental illness.
I feel sad that the body I want and am getting close to *having* is not considered sexually attractive.
Who else actually lives on coffee
/u/lovleybones_
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:11:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shu23/who_else_actually_lives_on_coffee/
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I see in a lot of those text posts on tumblr and Pinterest talking about skinny girls living on coffee and stuff. And I just want to know: is that true for you?
I mean I’m not skinny. By any means. I have an eating disorder (I guess) but I really do liveeee for coffee. Everyday all day.
But today my coffee from starbs made me feel really nauseas which is a first for me. Anyone else have this random problem?
Memories
/u/ViceIsNotNice
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shtlz/memories/
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I still remember it fondly. More and more these days, I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. I should have appreciated it at the time, but now I can only hope that one day it will happen again.
Once... a long time ago... I wasn’t cold.
Guy I was seeing slept with someone skinnier and now I can't eat again
/u/punqueenpie
Created: Mon Oct 29 16:07:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shsut/guy_i_was_seeing_slept_with_someone_skinnier_and/
---
As title pretty much,
I thought we were exclusive, I was wrong.
Now I lost appetite and haven't ate in 3 days, trying to go for a full 72 hours (only drinking one latte a day) I don't wanna eat untill I'm at my gw
Using a throwaway obv, but I think only here can anyone understand me
I want be so skinny I'd die.
[Other] I saw this shirt design the other day and wanted to share. Stay hydrated no matter what you're going through!
/u/autumn_moonlight
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:59:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shq10/i_saw_this_shirt_design_the_other_day_and_wanted/
---
。_。 https://imgur.com/a/4Vfm8mf
[Discussion] IF
/u/patbumbum
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:58:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shps2/if/
---
Anyone tried IF? I have an acquaintance who do 23:1 & 48:2.
[Rant/Rave] Quitting therapy and trying recovery alone..anyone tried this?
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1.4 | CW: 184 | BMI: 24.3| HW: 370| 33M]
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:48:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shmsp/quitting_therapy_and_trying_recovery_aloneanyone/
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Every week I go to see my therapist I feel like shit after and want to restrict. This week she told me that I might not have body dysmorphia and just have unrealistic standards for myself (I'm probably being slightly unfair here, but she was reluctant to say I have body dysmorphia)... which I of course believe about myself and maybe she is right, but still made me feel awful.
I'm going to keep forcing myself to eat... In the last 7 weeks I've conquered fear foods and binge foods. As long as I can manage to not gain too much weight (more than 5 more lbs)... I should be ok. And if I do gain a bit too much.. I can always go back to restriction come mid December!
[Other] Saw this shirt design the other day and wanted to share
/u/autumn_moonlight
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:42:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shl34/saw_this_shirt_design_the_other_day_and_wanted_to/
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。_。 https://imgur.com/a/4Vfm8mf
[Help] Ex stacks and nicotine patches
/u/SkinnyFatActually [5’2”| 100 lb|-10| F| 18.3]
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:34:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shinw/ex_stacks_and_nicotine_patches/
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So I was doing really well not smoking. I used nicotine patches but then I read somewhere that I shouldn’t wear them while stacking because it’s bad for the heart maybe. Anybody know anything about this? It wasn’t super clear and I just wanted to ask just in case anybody has had experiences. I started smoking again and I was to quit but I rely on the patches. I stack a few times a week typically.
[Discussion] When was the first time you had body dysmorphia?
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:32:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shhu6/when_was_the_first_time_you_had_body_dysmorphia/
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Honestly, I just remember that I was about 10-11 in class when I sat down and thought that my legs were as fat as my severely obese teachers legs. I was a healthy child and definitely not close to being over weight but somehow my mind told me that my thighs were as large as hers.
Just had sushi that made me puke
/u/playboyhunties
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9shc8c/just_had_sushi_that_made_me_puke/
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...And instead of being sweet and loving because I’m sick, my fiancé just flipped the fuck out on me. Accusing me of purposely purging it, saying he’s tired of “all my problems”, yelling at me saying I didn’t want to eat in the first place.
I know it’s just because he’s stressed, but I wish I never told him about my disordered eating. I feel like everything I do is under a microscope now. Does anyone else feel that way after having told someone about your ED?
I HATE waking up weighing more & ruining my downwards streak :(
/u/hahaeereemah
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:03:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sh8mf/i_hate_waking_up_weighing_more_ruining_my/
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Its just the worst start to the day.
Even though it's only 0.4kgs (0.88lbs) it just feels so shit, leaving me to think about all the food I SHOULDN'T have eaten yesterday. Blah
I’m developing an ED so quickly again after trying to lose weight healthily after so long in recovery and I feel so defeated
/u/cervidaes
Created: Mon Oct 29 15:01:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sh7xs/im_developing_an_ed_so_quickly_again_after_trying/
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I used to struggle with bulimia and I lost a lot of weight before I eventually got help. I managed to stop b/p and restricting probably 3 years ago and tried really hard to never look back. I stopped weighing myself for a long time and ate whatever I wanted. The last year or so my weight climbed up and I’m about 20 pounds overweight now. I have tried and stopped trying to lose weight healthily a couple of times before and I finally felt this year like I was ready. I started eating 1500 cals, going running, it was going great for about 2 weeks. This week I have barely eaten anything. I just see how little I’ve eaten and I will think “800 cals, if I stop now I will lose a lot more weight than if I try to eat more ....” or I think “If I don’t eat until dinner I could only eat 700 cals today that would be amazing” and I started looking at thinspo and buying old safe foods. It kind of took me stumbling across this sub to realize what I was doing. I just wanted to post it somewhere.
I want to healthily lose like 40 pounds and be at a healthy BMI of like 21 or 22 ..... but even though it’s been so long since my ed was in full swing it feels like I will never be able to have a normal and healthy relationship with weight loss. I feel so defeated. I want to be healthy and happy. Am I going to be like this for ever?
I’m sorry for posting but I can’t tell anyone I know and I’m crying in a bathroom right now
[Help] I can’t let go of it
/u/EasyPineapples [5'4 // CW 122 lbs // F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 14:45:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sh2xz/i_cant_let_go_of_it/
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I’m in recovery, I’ve been eating correctly, I feel like if I wanted to recover, I absolutely would be able to. I’m weight restored, I eat every day. I eat fine, but the thoughts are still there and active, I just got better at ignoring them. The thing is, I absolutely do NOT want to recover. I want to stay with my eating disorder because at this point I feel like it’s become a part of me. I’ve had disordered eating problems since I was eight, and I’m eighteen right now, so it’s been with me for over half my life. I absolutely can’t imagine letting go of this thing, it’s just who I am now and I feel like it just defines me as a person inside. Not many people know about my ed but I feel like it’s something that keeps me sane and gives me something to stick to each day. Without it, I’d have nothing. Does anyone else feel like this, and has anyone moved on from it? I feel as if I’m trapped in a dungeon, but the door’s open, I just don’t wanna leave. If that makes any sense.
[Rant/Rave] Losing hair is just so fucking depressing.
/u/JayLenoBlows [trans girl | 6’ | GW >120 | flabby skeleton]
Created: Mon Oct 29 14:44:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sh2kk/losing_hair_is_just_so_fucking_depressing/
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This is obviously taking a huge toll on my body and mind and I just can’t stop. I don’t even want to, really. I’m just in such a low place and every day I sink lower. I just want to feel ok and I don’t know if I ever will.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like I have no one to talk to so I decided to post on here.
/u/lilgemini420
Created: Mon Oct 29 14:26:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sgwjw/feeling_like_i_have_no_one_to_talk_to_so_i/
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I've been in recovery for about 3 years now with a few slip ups, but mostly I've been doing well. I've gained weight this past year to the point where I've had to buy all new clothes and I'm noticeably heavier than I used to be. Still, I had a positive mindset and my boyfriend always tells me how much he likes my body, so that helped. A few months ago, things started to get a little worse. My body dysmorphia really kicked in and when a pair of pants that I bought at the beginning of summer didn't fit, I had a little mental breakdown, but still resisted the urge to relapse. I joined an exercise class and started feeling better again.
Despite my recent struggles, I was really excited for Halloween. I spent a ton of time and money on my costume and actually felt pretty confident with it on. My friends and I did a group thing and went out on Saturday. We got compliments and I felt hot dancing at the club. I haven't been posting many pictures of myself because of my weight gain, but I felt pretty good since we got such a positive reaction and posted on Instagram and on the subreddit relating to my costume (a popular TV show). I didn't expect to get too many upvotes or anything, but I figured people would just appreciate our effort. Instead I got a comment saying I was fat. It was mildly rude about the other people in my group, but I was the one called fat.
I literally felt all the life leave my body when I read it. I immediately started bawling. I feel so stupid because I know it's some idiot who was looking for people to troll. But it doesn't matter. I've never been called fat before. Big boned once and nearly overweight once, 2 instances that I've never forgotten and that triggered me very badly. This is different. This is FAT. The word I've been calling myself since I was 8 or 9 in my head, but that I'd never heard from another person. I feel like every terrible thought I've had about myself and my body was validated with the one small comment. It's like a mantra now that I can't stop repeating to myself. I'm FAT FAT FAT.
I have barely eaten since and can't stop obsessing over food and my body. Like it's all I've thought about. I feel out of control like I haven't been in so long. I'm sad and disappointed in myself for caring so much, but I can't stop it. I'm scared and angry and I don't know what to do.
Sorry if this is not appropriate or dumb, but I felt like I needed to say something to someone because I don't want to feel isolated and alone.
[Discussion] Why does it seem like only good tasting food is available while I’m restricting and bad tasting food when I’m binging?!!
/u/not-creative-enough- [5’6 | 16F | CW145lbs | 23.5 | HW150lbs ]
Created: Mon Oct 29 14:21:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sgup4/why_does_it_seem_like_only_good_tasting_food_is/
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Does anyone else have this problem? Like right now after going back into restriction after a binge period my mom is making some AMAZING dinner(but SOOO high calorie), my siblings all have early halloween candy which I know they’d be happy to share with me and my bf wants to get like shakes and fries and stuff from mcdonalds. But literally last week there was nothing I liked for meals, my mom made cheesy broccoli stuff and other things I hate, and zero sweets in the house(literally not even sugar was here to make something sweet); all while I was in binge mode.
I feel like this happens ALL the time. I’m gonna get some carrots and apples later tonight and I’m REALLY looking forward to boiled carrots so I should be good tonight but we have some really delicious meals planned for this week.
[Help] Help me calculate these caloriezzz
/u/blegh67
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:59:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sgnao/help_me_calculate_these_caloriezzz/
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Hey! Alright so i normally never eat school lunch but i binged today. I need help calculating the calories seeing as though they offer no nutritional facts or anything like that. Help me out if you can!
1 philly cheese steak sub (small-medium white bun, about 3/4 cup shredded meat, about 1/4 cup of the sauce) ((all measurements guesstimated -_-))
1 piece of pep pizza, medium-large slice
About 1 cup of mixed veggies
2 cartons of chocolate milk (1 cup each i think)
Any help is mondo appreciated
Fasting buddy ?
/u/macespacee
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:23:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sgbdi/fasting_buddy/
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[removed]
[Help] excuses?
/u/skdjin
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:23:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sgb88/excuses/
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mini backstory - normally over the weekend i'm with my dad (joint custody) and he's quite a big guy. not fat or anything, just bulky. he's also been brought up in a really european background, foodie etc and thinks food is the source of a good time.
i've been struggling for ages and fast all the time but i normally break it over the weekend because of my dad and if i don't want to order food he gets super concerned and i appreciate it but i just wish he was a bit blind with it.
i've used "i feel sick" "car sickness" stuff like that but he won't give in, last week he literally fed me a big mac. thank god he looked away enough for me to c/s it into my pockets but around my brother and sister included, it's a little tricky to spit the whole thing up.
any advice or help or excuse would be wonderful, thank you ♡
[Rant/Rave] Set myself back in the stupidest way!
/u/crookedlypoetic [5'7" | 196.8 | 30.? | 78.2 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:23:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sgb41/set_myself_back_in_the_stupidest_way/
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For like a week and a half I have been staying under my weekly calorie bucket which is yay but none the less I have been so bloated and constipated and I can't see any of my progress. I have been wracking my BRAIN trying to figure out what the hell I am doing wrong right?
Well my nicotine consumption has been super low to non existent. Why? Because I bought vape juice I am allergic to and I didn't want to go buy more cause shits expensive and we are gearing up for a move to another state. I am not a smart woman.
Now that I have my juice things are quickly moving along again thankfully. I MISS MY SUNKEN STOMACH DAMN IT.
Rant over, stay safe guys!
How to weigh-in heavier at the doctors?
/u/eightstone [Height: 5ft 7 | CW: 8st 4lbs| BMI: 18.7 | Gender: F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:19:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg9xz/how_to_weighin_heavier_at_the_doctors/
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I have a doctor's appointment in three days time and I was wondering if anybody has any tips on how to make my weight appear higher than it is. I'm not willing to binge eat beforehand. So far I'm planning on wearing my biggest, chunkiest boots, jeans (maybe layer with tights underneath and my thickest socks? every little helps right?) and as many tops/jumpers as I can wear without it getting weird-looking. I don't own any mini weights or body weights (ankle weights, weighted vests etc) and I'm not about to go buy some for this. I also don't have a lot of coins handy. Any tips on other small heavy commonly available things that I can put in my pockets are appreciated. I will chug water just before the appointment. Maybe I'll wear a baseball cap because I might get away with keeping that on during the appointment (leaving a woolly hat on would be odd). Please let me know if there are other things I can do!
[Discussion] Do you drink apple cider vinegar?
/u/audreyhepburnwho [no binge October~ Halloween goal 68kg cw 73kg]
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:16:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg8ua/do_you_drink_apple_cider_vinegar/
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And why? I know the benefits of it in terms of lowering blood glucose, helping digestion and being an antioxidant but, if you take it, what's your motivation? And does it help with hunger pangs and/or Appetite?
[Tip] Don't forget your progress
/u/michellenemangepas
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:11:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg79n/dont_forget_your_progress/
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https://i.redd.it/tx6cfrk115v11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Today starts a new week
/u/AzraelUaDuibhne
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg6rx/today_starts_a_new_week/
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Guess who had less than 500 calories for breakfast? This bitch. Guess who was able to say no to donuts and chips because they didn't seem appealing? This bitch! Guess who's going to be eating <700 calories a day all this week, just to prove a point? This fucking bitch!
I'm going to lose this fucking weight, and I'm going to be a fabulous bitch when I'm done! 😊
[Rant/Rave] My friend died and I can't stop binging.
/u/Sjkyordanuise
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:08:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg6gw/my_friend_died_and_i_cant_stop_binging/
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I always weighed around 115lbs-120lbs. I was content with that. No real ED, just young and skinny.
Started dating a shithead on heroin. Got addicted myself. My ex and I shared a best friend who was also addicted. Just us three junkies, hanging out, getting high, watching movies, whatever, all the time.
I left ex bf after 3 years of physical and mental (and drug) abuse. Cut ties with all friends who used, including best friend. Got clean/sober- have been for a bit over a year. Replaced heroin with food. Got fucking fat. I'm 5'6 and I got up to 162lbs.
God, I used to be so pretty..
Got tired of being fat, slowly developed ED. Weight varied between 160lbs-150lbs for about 6 months. Finally got SICK of being fat, really doubled down on restricting, purging, blah blah.
Went from 155lbs to 142lbs. Not great, but fuckin progress. I can actually SEE that I am smaller. Still a nasty blob, but better.
Old best friend overdosed and died a few days ago. I've known him since I was five. I'm so heartbroken.
Of course I use this as an opportunity to binge. "I'm grieving, I can eat what I want. It'll make me feel better." It doesn't. Now I'm at 146lbs in such a short time.
I'll be fat at his funeral. Why the fuck do I care about that? What the hell is wrong with me.
I'm rambling. Thanks for listening.
Complete and total relaps
/u/killercat-
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:04:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg4yu/complete_and_total_relaps/
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I struggled with anorexia with bulimic tendencies about 4-5 years ago and lost about 85 lbs. As I started therapy for my depression and anxiety, got diagnosed with autism and got medicated, I started to recover from my ED and was living healthy.
​
Then I met my boyfriend (now fiancé) and I started very slowly gaining more weight than I would like. He says I didn't gain much, that I'm beautiful, that I look the same, but I felt like a whale. So I started a healthy weightloss as I wanted to lose weight for our upcoming wedding - and I was actually losing weight with the healthy weightloss (but it was pretty slow). Everything was going so great in my life and with my mental health (and had been for years), that my doctor and I agreed that I could phase out and stop taking my medication for the depression and anxiety. Big mistake. It spiraled out of control really quick and I became a complete wreck (I even started having suicidal thoughts again). During this mental breakdown, I stopped my weightloss plan, stopped excersicing, started binging really bad and gained everything back I had lost with the healthy weight loss.
​
I got back on my meds and I feel better now - although, I still struggle and don't feel as good and stable as I did when I was on my meds before I quit. I got so angry with myself that I had gained everything back I had lost during my healthy weightloss, that I started to fast and restrict my calorie intake to below 500 kcal. "Just so I can kickstart my weightloss, then I'll follow my healthy weightloss plan again" I thought. As you can probalby guess, I haven't started the healthy weightloss plan again. That is long gone now. Now I can't stop. It took some time for me to come to terms with the fact that I have actually relapsed. I didn't think I would ever be back to this again, but here we are...
Nutrition labels like this confuse the shit out of me.....
/u/PoorLama [6ft | CW 190 | BMI 25.9 | Weight Lost 10lb | Gender F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 13:00:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg3g3/nutrition_labels_like_this_confuse_the_shit_out/
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https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51GtSKxNSwL.jpg
[Help] How do y‘all stay warm during winter?
/u/limonenfrosch
Created: Mon Oct 29 12:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sg0bp/how_do_yall_stay_warm_during_winter/
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Since the days are getting shorter and colder, I wanted to know your tricks to stay warm during the cold season.
It‘s not even really winter yet and I‘m already down to wearing my thickest boots and two pair of socks lol, last winter wasn‘t that bad for me.
[Rant/Rave] my girlfriend broke up with me
/u/orangeinfusedbanana [15F | 5’8 | UGW: 100 | fat bitch :^)]
Created: Mon Oct 29 12:01:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sfixn/my_girlfriend_broke_up_with_me/
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so my girlfriend who i loved more than anything broke up with me. she’s the only reason i was able to wake up in the morning and not want to die when i would step on the scale. she gave me so much hope and i feel fucking horrible
[Discussion] Recipes under 400cal?
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Mon Oct 29 11:34:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sf992/recipes_under_400cal/
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My current diet consists of one healthy choice steamer a day because I know exactly how many calories are in it everytime (230-290 depending on the meal) but I'm getting kinda bored with it and I can feel a binge coming on. What're you're favorite low cal meals, or snacks? My usual go to is egg whites with tomatoes and spinach when I need a change but I need more variety. TIA.
asmr cooking
/u/princessonania
Created: Mon Oct 29 11:03:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9seys6/asmr_cooking/
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ive realised that while binging i am always watching something on youtube either with the volume loud/ headphones on or something dramatic and negative that captures my attention.
today i let the house be silent as i prepared a meal and a cup of tea. then i ate in silence and listened to my chewing and the spoon and my bowl. i really tasted the food i had made instead of just chewing and swallowing. idk it was such a euphoric experience and i finally felt full immediately after eating.
i think ive found another great tool for my recovery. i purged last week and i thought i was slipping back but nothing is truly linear is it?
Cold hands indoors?!
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Mon Oct 29 11:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sexn5/cold_hands_indoors/
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What do you guys do to deal with FREEZING hands during the day? Do you wear gloves indoors?! I didn’t anticipate this getting so bad so fast but I can barely write or type at work because my hands are so cold!
Worked myself up for hours to eat something, but it ended up tasting like garbage.
/u/throoaweigh
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:59:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sexa0/worked_myself_up_for_hours_to_eat_something_but/
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I shouldn't be this salty, but I am. So it was last night, I hadn't eaten anything in ~30 hours, so I figured, hey, I'd be okay to eat this soup I bought! 98(?) cals or something close. So I'm right about to heat it up when I realise it's carrot and coriander soup, and when I bought it I forgot that coriander = cilantro (for y'all americans), and I never got around to testing whether cilantro tasted like soap to me.
So I taste a little bit. Guys, it tasted like fucking soap. This dumbass low-cal soup I'd been convincing myself for hours was okay to eat tasted like soap. I had to pour the whole thing down the sink. I was SO upset.
This has happened to someone else, right? It isn't just me??
(tldr when buying safe foods, ensure they are actually food and not soap)
[Discussion] How do your behaviors change when you’re sick?
/u/LiamNeesonsMegaCock [5'4'' | CW: 135 lbs | GW: 105 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:58:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sewwm/how_do_your_behaviors_change_when_youre_sick/
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I have a cold rn and nothing tastes good so I guess I’m restricting until I stop sniffling. I always wonder if this makes my colds last longer or not, I try to drink water and take vitamin C pills but does eating help me get better sooner?
What do you guys and gals do?
[Discussion] The “Fabulous Drunkorexic” Trope
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:46:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9seskl/the_fabulous_drunkorexic_trope/
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So I was thinking about this the other day, and when I imagine how I want to be as an adult(like a real adult, I’m 21 now and have no idea what I’m doing lol) but I’ve always looked up to tv characters like Karen Walker from Will&Grace, Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, and Maryann Thorpe from Cybill. All of them are rich, drunk, skinny, and fabulous. God I want to be them.
[Rant/Rave] Keep trying to recover, end up binging
/u/lifesabreech [5'1" | 99.6 | 27F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:35:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9seo9v/keep_trying_to_recover_end_up_binging/
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My relapse was 7 months ago. I lost about 24 lbs but I wasn’t feeling so great (surprise!) and was mostly ok with how I looked, so I decided to try and switch to “intuitive eating” which, let’s be honest, doesn’t work great for those of us with fucked up hunger/fullness cues. So of course more often than not, this lead to binging and I put on 6 or so lbs. I wanted to be ok with that but this isn’t my first rodeo and I knew that number was going to keep going up, so I started restricting again...which lead to an insane binge-restrict cycle that lasted about 6 weeks.
I decided I couldn’t take it anymore about a week ago and was going to attempt to eat at maintenance/recover. Yes, again. I’m sure you know where this is going. I just had the bingiest week of my entire life. I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t stick to a meal plan. I’m up 5 lbs (I know it’s not all fat, it was just upsetting to see that number). I had to start restricting again today because I was so freaked out. Which is literally just going to trigger more binging for me. I’m totally setting myself up to fail. But I literally don’t know what else to do.
I know there are 10 million posts like this on this sub so I’m sorry but I just needed to let it out somewhere. This is such a fucking nightmare and I’m so goddamn over it.
i just want to pass out
/u/band-aide [5'5.5 | CW: 125 | BMI: 20 | F/19]
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:33:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sengv/i_just_want_to_pass_out/
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i can’t do this anymore. i’m so sick of always feeling this way. my parents know how awful i feel and how depressed i am but they don’t even know what to say or do. i don’t want to interact with anyone and i don’t want to talk to “friends”. i can barely even sleep and i just want to cry. i should be happy, why am i never happy? any sane person in my situation would just take their life.
Time to grind for that convention body
/u/par0 [5'7 | 130 | GW: 123 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:24:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9seksk/time_to_grind_for_that_convention_body/
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Ohayocon is this coming January, and I already planned two of my outfits: Rei Ayanami from Evangelion and Lain from Serial Experiments Lain. They're both pretty petite characters and I've "recovered" -- meaning I went from 130 to 155 at 5'7. Hoping to be able to go down and become more slender to fit the characters. Any other cosplayers know this feeling?? It's so fucking stressful
[Rant/Rave] Living breathing cliché
/u/audreyhepburnwho [no binge October~ Halloween goal 68kg cw 73kg]
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:12:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9segmo/living_breathing_cliché/
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Ive struggled with different forms of EDs for the last 10 years. Ive gone through different stages but the fuel behind it has always been a desire to be smaller. Lately I've been a textbook drunkorexic. My anxiety has been ridiculous and i can't cope with it without alcohol. But that led to issues of its own. Anyway I'm not gonna prolong myself too much. But this morning i was lying in bed thinking of how I'm not happy or content with life but I'm also not sure what I want to change, work is shitty, love life is weird and confusing, I'm struggling to accept that my friends actually like me and don't secretly want me to disappear which is what i tell myself constantly... I'm dealing with learning stuff about myself as well... Its kinda erratic, basically. My life is all over the place and i dont feel in control of it anymore . And as I was thinking this i thought... Might as well starve. At least THAT I can control. I can control how i dont eat and therefore i can control how thin i become and no one can change that. Well fuck. Isn't the whole "I developed an ED because i wanted to be in control of something" a huge cliché? Don't take it the wrong way please i understand it's a real thing and a lot of people's fuel for their ED but it was never the case with me, ever. I never ever resonated with the whole "to feel in control of something" thing. To me it was really only about being smaller. Guess that in itself is a cliché. I just think it's interesting that 10 years in I'm still understanding new things about this. I'm skipping food for the following week because if nothing else, at least that, I can control.
[Help] Laxative abuse
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 116.4 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 21 F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:11:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9segev/laxative_abuse/
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Back when I was 13-14 and my ED was first starting to manifest, I took a laxative after lunch. I eventually stopped bc I didn’t like having random gas.
Well now I’m back on it, but worse. After the one binge weekend I had and I couldn’t have a bowel movement, I had enough and bought a bottle of laxatives and took two after eating.
However, this past weekend I went so hard in binging and took more after each meal I ate. I think yesterday I consumed like eight as opposed to two. Woke up twice last night having to sprint to the toilet.
In a way I feel better bc it’s like almost everything I ate this weekend is coming out and I can get back to 116, but I know this is gonna be hard to break.
[Rant/Rave] I never cry but I’ve felt like crying in public almost every day this week
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:07:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sef74/i_never_cry_but_ive_felt_like_crying_in_public/
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I hate this fucking disorder.
I can’t get out of my head.
Unhealthy safe foods?
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Mon Oct 29 10:05:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9seek9/unhealthy_safe_foods/
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Does anyone else have unhealthy safe foods? Mine are ice cream and PB&J
[Rant/Rave] Happy
/u/httpram
Created: Mon Oct 29 09:45:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9se835/happy/
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Today i had some of my friends’ lunches (1/2 a kashi bar and a bite of this pastry thing) and i didnt freak out!! It was all super tasty and i only logged the kashi bar which was 90 so its not so bad!!! im proud of myself
I have an eating disorder
/u/anyeducation
Created: Mon Oct 29 09:30:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9se3by/i_have_an_eating_disorder/
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I feel like I just need to say it somewhere but there's no other place where I can say it without anybody freaking out.
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or worry about me. I kind of just wish I could tell someone and they would just be okay with it, as if it were nothing. To me, it's nothing.
This sub makes me feel like I'm less alone.
[Discussion] DAE watch My 600 lb life?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 99 | GW: 88]
Created: Mon Oct 29 09:21:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9se0ia/dae_watch_my_600_lb_life/
---
Im kind of addicted now, and it helps me restrict better 👌
[Rant/Rave] I gained 6 pounds in three days.
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Mon Oct 29 09:19:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sdzxa/i_gained_6_pounds_in_three_days/
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I’ve been eating like a fiend the last two days and I gained three pounds. I was trying to reset to stop my plateau. I feel like it wasn’t worth it.
I’m going to kill myself.
I want to get out of the 19s forever.
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 109 | GW 104 | F26]
Created: Mon Oct 29 08:58:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sdt75/i_want_to_get_out_of_the_19s_forever/
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I'm getting close to my low weight and I can feel the complacency setting in already, I get stuck between 107-109 for months and months, I just need to get under 105.
It's going to be different this time. I will succeed. Its so slow but I can feel every .1 lb of fat that comes off. Send good vibes and spooky thoughts my way??? 🎃✨
My celebrity crush: Courtney Act. Who is yours?
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Mon Oct 29 08:48:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sdqfd/my_celebrity_crush_courtney_act_who_is_yours/
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https://i.redd.it/g8feug8x05v11.jpg
Fasting!
/u/NekoandtheFirefly
Created: Mon Oct 29 08:27:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sdk26/fasting/
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Today is my first day attempting to fast. I stopped eating last night around midnight, and I am going to try and stay under 300 cals every 24 hours until I see my weight drop. Is this a good plan? Does anyone have any advice on self control or methods?
Thanks everyone!
[Rant/Rave] I feel so pathetic and fat
/u/orthoreXXX [23F | 5’4” | cw 110.6 | gw 99 | bmi 19.4]
Created: Mon Oct 29 08:25:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sdj83/i_feel_so_pathetic_and_fat/
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As a fucking “orthorexjc”, I don’t heavily restrict because I’m terrified of losing muscle and brain function. I eat 1360 calories a day and make sure I get every nutrient necessary and make sure I consume at least 120g protein every day, but I still feel fucking STARVING at the end of the day and it’s so hard not to b/p or get drunk.
I see people on here able to fast for days or restrict to 400 calories a day for a straight week and I can’t even go two fucking days without fucking it all up.
To be fair, I work out twice a day and make sure I get at least 12,000 steps a day but still I eat so much protein I shouldn’t be this fucking gluttonous.
Even ECA stacking doesn’t work for me I still feel like a hungry little pig.
I want to purge but at the same time gaining weight is the perfect punishment for binging..
/u/peachiefaerie [5'2" | SW: 187lbs | UGW: 100lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 29 08:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sdj3h/i_want_to_purge_but_at_the_same_time_gaining/
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I just ate half a cheesecake, two ice creams, three packets of chips and six piece of bread and I want to purge it all but instead I'm lying in bed crying about what a failure I am 🙃
wow, so i forgot since I don’t eat i can’t handle alcohol anymore and got embarrassingly drunk
/u/yikesmonster505
Created: Mon Oct 29 07:50:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sd93n/wow_so_i_forgot_since_i_dont_eat_i_cant_handle/
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this sub mostly because I’m super embarrassed and have no one else to vent to. me and my friends went to a college Halloween party and i saved all my calories for alcohol can you say big mf MISTAKE. There are a lot of videos of me being a clearly annoying overtly turnt person + i kissed one of those 28 year old grime balls who still hang out at college parties (I’m 18 ) icing on the cake is i had sex with a dude who looks like clay from 13 reasons and a dog bit my face so i had to get these really cute expensive stiches!!!
Happy Halloween everyone eat + drink safely
I don't want to talk to my therapist
/u/Alexithymia115
Created: Mon Oct 29 07:47:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sd87r/i_dont_want_to_talk_to_my_therapist/
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So I've been seeing a trauma therapist for the past year now and she's really great and has helped me change my life so much. But I also don't think I can talk to her right now because I know my ED habits are coming back (four fucking years of recovery and now at the best time in my life it's coming back) but I also think she will judge me.
Okay hear me out. I'm not "FAT FAT" like I'm not obese or whatever medical professionals say is overweight. But I am FAT and certainly fatter than I've EVER allowed myself to be. But I know to everyone else who doesn't see me naked or have to touch my bare flesh I'm "average/small" (except I wear a size medium so what the fuuuuuuuck).
And I've had TWO panic attacks in the past 10 days regarding feeling like I'm going crazy but that I also CANNOT REMAIN FAT. Jesus fucking Christ.
But my therapist is overweight. I haven't really cared up until now. I know she used to be smaller and probably very active. But she is... Overweight. And I'm afraid she'll look at me and think I'm stupid or silly or juvenile for thinking like this. Because let's face it I'm a 23 year old woman with a job a. Beginning career, grad school applications in the process. I fucking. work. in .the. field. of. psychology. I have an amazing SO a cat. I've been no contact with my psychopathic and narcissistic mother.
There is no reason for me to be acting this way except that I've crossed a line with my weight I said I would never cross and I have to rectify it before I can keep going.
Ughhhh fuuuuuuuck.
[Discussion] Anyone else binge while browsing this sub?
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 07:34:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sd4lv/anyone_else_binge_while_browsing_this_sub/
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It's like an out of body experience
How about you mind your damn business MFP?!
/u/burningbambi
Created: Mon Oct 29 07:09:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9scxdl/how_about_you_mind_your_damn_business_mfp/
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https://imgur.com/u3WNPUj
[Help] Confused and anxious
/u/aparine [172 cm | 54,6 kg | 18,46 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 29 06:34:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sco1o/confused_and_anxious/
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This might come off ass really weird but, for the past week and a half or so I've been strangely.... Okay? I haven't been counting calories and I can eat like a normal person with about 0 guilt. It's making me very anxious because I feel like I'm just a fraud, no one who's actually sick recovers this quickly... Does anyone here know what to make of this? :c
[Tip] Journaling about my dream body
/u/HIITKix09
Created: Mon Oct 29 06:32:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9scnl6/journaling_about_my_dream_body/
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For the past week I’ve been sitting down and writing detailed descriptions about the body I want, which is maybe 5-6lbs away. I write as if that’s my body now. Sometimes I’ll write on a little notepad at my desk when I’m getting upset and it instantly helps me.
Let me tell you guys it feels so good, and it motivates me to make better choices. I feel relaxed, like this body is mine, and I don’t need to step on a scale or measure myself. Because those numbers today aren’t my body and only will make me sad. I can’t wait to do this for a few weeks and see what happens! The thing is, I’m already seeing changes in the mirror. My jawline is getting sharper. Thigh gap increasing as I have written. Maybe try it if you want????
Also, a Reiki therapist mentioned once to me that I could try writing my GW on a sticky note with a heart around it. The goal is to make MY goal seem easy and I guess non-threatening. I’m going to try that this week.
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! October 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 29 06:13:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9scj08/weekly_stats_update_october_29_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 29, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 29, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 29 06:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sciyz/daily_food_diary_october_29_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 29, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Do you have an SOS plan for dealing w/ the emotional turmoil of binging?
/u/lola21
Created: Mon Oct 29 06:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sciiw/do_you_have_an_sos_plan_for_dealing_w_the/
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Firstly, I'd like to say how great I think this community is. I just recently stumbled upon it and am so grateful for it.
So my question is mostly for those who routinely restrict but also deal with time periods of extreme binging (not talking about a 2,000 cals binge here) without purging.
My binges are ridiculously counterproductive, as they stem from acute anxiety rather than hunger (or at least that's what I'd like to tell myself), but, naturally enough, end up making me feel (both WHILE and AFTER the fact) a thousand times worse. I deal with suicidal ideation at a constant baseline and am currently in therapy for it, but after binging the thoughts increase immensely and are honestly scary.
I know what I describe is basically the reality of EDs and, no shit Sherlock, they suck -- but I'd still like to know how you deal with the aftermath of the hurricane without hurting yourself, how you cope and calm yourself down, self-rationaliztions that help you (even if they are "crazy" sounding to a non-ED brain), etc.
I know what I describe is basically the reality of EDs and, no shit Sherlock, they suck -- but I'd still like to know how you deal with the aftermath of the hurricane without hurting yourself, how you cope and calm yourself down, self-rationalizations that help you (even if they are "crazy" sounding to a non-ED brain), etc.
It is important for me to ask this question cause by now I **know** saying to myself "this is the LAST time this is happening" is a lie I cannot believe and longer. I'd like to carry some helpful coping mechanisms in my pocket, knowing that even if I end of binging, I would not feel scared for my life.
Thank you, and stay safe and beautiful. <3
[Help] restricting while studying
/u/ghoulish-bones
Created: Mon Oct 29 06:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sci3p/restricting_while_studying/
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my exam timetable just came out, and i really need to do well this year bcos my ED and depression wrecked my last semester. but i’m in the middle of a hardcore restricting cycle. how do you keep up your concentration and stay safe while restricting? i don’t want to pass out or anything during an exam, but unfortunately i am nowhere near ready to start eating like a normal person again.
Saw this shirt design last night and wanted to share
/u/autumn_moonlight
Created: Mon Oct 29 05:17:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sc6b6/saw_this_shirt_design_last_night_and_wanted_to/
---
https://i.redd.it/d9rn6qh7z3v11.jpg
[Discussion] What made you choose your GW?
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Mon Oct 29 05:04:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sc387/what_made_you_choose_your_gw/
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I'm kind of bored atm and would like to start a discussion. I'm really interested to know what made people here choose their particular Goal Weight.
For me, it's usually that I'll like a certain character in a show, book, film etc. and I'll find out what their BMI is, then reverse calculate it to find out how much I would need to weigh to get the same BMI.
[Discussion] Donating blood tomorrow morning
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Mon Oct 29 04:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sc209/donating_blood_tomorrow_morning/
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I’ve decided I’ll be donating blood. It’ll be my first time for it tomorrow, I’m nervous more than anything. Has anyone else here donated/have experiences you’d like to share?
Apparently you have to eat beforehand which I’m hoping I can get away with but idk if that’s a good idea.
[Discussion] Who all can do the splits?
/u/lattephobia
Created: Mon Oct 29 04:17:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sbtvx/who_all_can_do_the_splits/
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It's kind of a tertiary goal for me right now. I've never been able to do them and I want to be that flexible slender chick who looks like it's no sweat.
I've been stretching pretty deep after my morning runs and my front splits are getting pretty close but my side splits are feet away.
I have no dance background, but I'm fairly comfortable being uncomfortable in the yoga way and I'm not expecting immediate results.
Right now post-run I'm doing:
*a couple vinyasas
*a lot of forward folds
*half pigeons
*sitting as close to a forward split as I can get
*spread-eagle toe-grabbies
*spread-eagle elbows on the floor
I'd love to hear any suggestions the flexible folks have!
[Help] Stopped binge eating, not losing weight
/u/Orjen8
Created: Mon Oct 29 04:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sbqb0/stopped_binge_eating_not_losing_weight/
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Hey kind folks,
For the past year or so I have been struggling with night time binge eating. It has been horrible. I know for sure that the binge eating was triggered by starting psychiatric medication, but that‘s another story for another time. I gained a lot of weight in the process. The thing is that for the past 2 weeks or so I have managed (with enormous expenditure of will power) to stop binge eating altogether. Not only that, but I don‘t eat ANYTHING after 6 pm. That has helped me immediately shed weight off in the past but now the scale isn‘t budging at all. It is very disappointing and I feel super frustrated. Any thoughts or tips?
[Discussion] Does anyone else not give a fuck who hears them purging?
/u/angelakarui
Created: Mon Oct 29 02:47:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sbd1q/does_anyone_else_not_give_a_fuck_who_hears_them/
---
Self explanatory lol
[Rant/Rave] Why can’t I stop eating at night
/u/trappedinaclub
Created: Mon Oct 29 02:44:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sbcj5/why_cant_i_stop_eating_at_night/
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GOD I can do so good throughout the day but for some reason at night this switch in my brain goes off like hey nows a great time to eat everything in your pantry!!!!!
I’ve really been trying to repair my relationship with food and lose weight healthily but I just cannot fucking stop the night eating habit, I feel so fucking hopeless
I just miss being thin. I’ve gained ten pounds in a year. It shouldn’t be that fucking hard for me to lose it but I just can’t stop eating at night. Fuck food. Fuck me for not having any self control. Fuck me for being a fat piece of shit.
Literally went from people complimenting how thin I was to being at the cusp end of a normal BMI. I need to be thin again.
[Rant/Rave] My BF gaining weight is my new favorite thing
/u/Work_In_Regress
Created: Mon Oct 29 02:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sb9o3/my_bf_gaining_weight_is_my_new_favorite_thing/
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Alright, so...I don't know what exactly this says about my personality but I LOVE fattening my boyfriend up. He is underweight and a tad insecure about it, and I'm the cook of the house so he often relies on me to "fatten up" his meals. And ya'll, it is the best thing ever. I don't know why on earth it's so pleasing to me but I love watching him eat food and thinking "yes, yes...get bigger than me." Thank god he actually wants that or else I'd feel like a monster!
We're around the same height, and for as long as we've been dating I've been in full "fuck it" binge mode because I'm dumb and went off my depression meds. This meant that the probability of me ever being smaller than him was 0. But I'm back on my meds now, back to restricting, and fattening him up all in the meanwhile. I used to restrict out of anxiety and depression, but now it seems like I'm just on a mission and I'm PUMPED. It is so damn satisfying to put spoonful after spoonful of butter into his breakfast and think "yes, I am not eating ANY of that!" Whenever I restrict I rarely go over 800 calories/day, sometimes nothing at all, which gets me really fixated on any food I make for him. I have no idea if I'm explaining this well at all, so if any of you can relate, feel free to word it better than me, lol
The day I become smaller than him, you will all definitely hear about it in an insane rambling victory post.
[Goal] 137lbs on/off for five years
/u/carlacoutoure
Created: Mon Oct 29 02:03:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sb5o1/137lbs_onoff_for_five_years/
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GUYS. I’ve been 5’6 and 137lbs for five years. A little below with some substance abuse, a little above with out of control B/P disorder. It’s always hovering at least 2-3lbs in either direction over the last five years (since college, I’m 25 now.)
I’m absolutely DONE with this number. GW is 120. Granted I have a lot of muscle from weight lifting on/off, but I just want my frame to be smaller. I just downloaded the Dubrow Diet to my kindle after binging and purging McGriddles for the LAST time. Vodka and cocaine are not my friends either as I sit here blowing my nose with a yeast infection.
Tomorrow it’s all about the gyno visit, green juice, 5k run and abs. I’m replacing all the Halloween candy I b/p’d in my house (barely purging it) and starting over.
Bulimia, booze and drugs are why I’m never giving 137 a chance to see 120.
When your scale is a complete and utter liar
/u/lunasouseiseki [180cm | 77kg | 23.8 | -10kg | F:snoo_shrug:]
Created: Mon Oct 29 01:36:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sb13n/when_your_scale_is_a_complete_and_utter_liar/
---
I've been on holiday in Europe. I binged like I've never before. I am sure I'm 60% whip cream now.
I was prepared though. I hardly ate a very low calorie amount before I left (losing next to no weight) for my holiday and am ready to restrict now that I'm back.
HOWEVER NOW MY SCALE SAYS I LOST 2KG. IM NOW 74KG. I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
I appreciate y'all
/u/cattivity
Created: Mon Oct 29 01:28:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saztg/i_appreciate_yall/
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I'm drunk as fuck but I just wanna say that I appreciate every one of you. I feel such a sense of community with you all and I'm so grateful for it. I want you all to be healthy but It's also comforting to know I am human and that others have similar struggles. We are not alone in this ❣
[Rant/Rave] i! am! screwed!
/u/planetskinny
Created: Mon Oct 29 01:09:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sawn0/i_am_screwed/
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i’m so scared for halloween. like sure, it’s my favorite holiday and i get to dress up as the element of fire, but i am! screwed! i don’t know if i should go trick or treating with my friends because all i’ve done for the past two weeks is bingebingebinge aka eat at maintenance! love that for me!
oh yeah, did i mention i usually HAVE MY BIGGEST BINGE ON HALLOWEEN?! what happened to binge free october?!?!?! WHAT HAPPENED, MYSELF?!?!?!!!!!!!?
hi sorry i’m rly upset because i was literally saving calories so i could binge on halloween. and yes,,, i know that’s not how it works but damn.
advice? even though this was literally me yelling lmfaooo?
[Rant/Rave] Can the creeps go away already
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Mon Oct 29 01:09:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sawk2/can_the_creeps_go_away_already/
---
https://i.redd.it/q4k64z3wq2v11.jpg
BE CAREFUL I am green he is red please be careful
/u/buzzingb
Created: Mon Oct 29 01:06:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saw4v/be_careful_i_am_green_he_is_red_please_be_careful/
---
https://i.redd.it/ktl33h1gq2v11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Can we just make this sub finally private because I'm fucking sick of these creeps preying on the people here.
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Mon Oct 29 01:01:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sav5z/can_we_just_make_this_sub_finally_private_because/
---
https://i.redd.it/ch9yrkzhp2v11.jpg
[Help] Anyone looking for an accountability buddy, especially for these next 4 weeks?
/u/MilknBones
Created: Mon Oct 29 00:37:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saqt8/anyone_looking_for_an_accountability_buddy/
---
I’d be keen to find someone to make goals with and keep up to track on each other. Especially these next 4 weeks.
I have a few things over the next couple of weekends and this guy who I’ve been casually seeing has come back from being overseas and has been messaging me and I want to make sure I can at least come out at the end of these next few weeks without hating myself.
I’m a 24yo female if that’s important.
I told my boyfriend that I think I have a serious problem with eating...
/u/ohmylambda [5'9" | F| CW: 158 | GW: 125| BMI: 22.91 |]
Created: Mon Oct 29 00:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saorl/i_told_my_boyfriend_that_i_think_i_have_a_serious/
---
he told me I can't have an eating disorder because I don't show the signs(?) of it. Not sure whether to be upset or excited that I can continue being disordered without him really even noticing because I guess I don't look like I have an ED?
I'm still confused.
Drunk purge
/u/buzzingb
Created: Mon Oct 29 00:13:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sameh/drunk_purge/
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I’m drunk and I just made myself purge everything in my stomach just to eat McDonald’s (only to most likely throw it up later)
I used to hate that I couldn’t purge, now I wish I never got “good” at it :( 😔😔😔
[Discussion] Does anyone else just like...not binge?
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Mon Oct 29 00:04:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sako5/does_anyone_else_just_likenot_binge/
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Idk how strict the term “binge” is and I’ve used it in the past but I feel kind of fake doing so?
I never, ever eat to the point where I feel sick and overly full. I just eat until I’m satisfied. The most in one sitting has maybe been 2,000 calories but that’s all I’ve eaten for the whole day then, and it’s usually not that much??
I just hate feeling overly full and I hate feeling sick, so I purposefully avoid feeling that way. I may still eat a lot of calories in one sitting, but not to the point that it ever feels bad.
I don’t have anorexia or anything, my weight doesn’t qualify and also I eat like 1,000 calories a day so I don’t restrict super hard. I just feel like bingeing is super common here and like everyone does it but me? I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging or anything, it’s not a personal accomplishment or achievement, I was just wondering if I’m alone in this.
[Discussion] Does anyone actually enjoy starbucks
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:47:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sahhh/does_anyone_actually_enjoy_starbucks/
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Basically the title of the thread. I’m not American so Starbucks isn’t too accessible here even though more and more are popping up.
My question to you guys is, do any of you actually enjoy the frappes and sweet drinks from Starbucks?
I’ve had a white chocolate frappe or something similar once and it was soo sweet and disgusting. I couldn’t even taste any flavour other than straight up sugar and it’s 500 cals. These days the only thing I order is iced americano with nothing added. But I would like to know if you guys ever drink it and do you get lower calorie alternatives for things or make it the only thing you consume for a day? No hate, genuinely curious.
[Help] Nutrition while restricting?
/u/cattivity
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:45:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sah1g/nutrition_while_restricting/
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I eat around 600-800 cals now but I feel like I'm really bad at picking things that are nutritionally healthy. I realize that eating this low of an amount will never be healthy but I want to avoid as many health issues as possible. What do you guys eat when you restrict this low?
I want to puke when I look at my myself
/u/Bleepbloopbroke [65|CW 121.4|GW 110|UGW 84|20.44|]
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:36:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9safb4/i_want_to_puke_when_i_look_at_my_myself/
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I've really let myself go this past year. Was doing really well restricting at this point last year, down to 105 and I thought I would keep going. Idk what happened though and I gained 30 FUCKING POUNDS BECAUSE I'M SUCH A FAT PEICE OF SHIT. So anyway. Weighed in at 135 (can't even write that without cringing). I'm so fat and disgusting and I hate myself.
I feel so hopeless. I weighed 133.4 this morning and I really want to get back down at least to the 105 I was at last year. The problem is that I want it now. I know probably almost everyone can relate. I know I have to set smaller goals and pace myself so I don't go even further into the abyss of fat, but god I want to be thin so bad
Sorry for the rant, and thanks to anyone who read all that. Hope you all can manage a good week
[Help] How accurate is Samsung Health's calorie estimate for the day?
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | 116 lbs | 19 | -20 lbs | 27F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sadwm/how_accurate_is_samsung_healths_calorie_estimate/
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For any of you who have used Samsung Health for tracking how many calories you've burned in a day (hidden under "Active Time") and have also used a FitBit or other device, has SH been somewhat reliable?
I have an S8+ and it says I've been averaging \~1300 calories total burned per day, including all the steps and exercises it detects. This is basically what I figured was maintenance for me (according to my mfp intake and weight loss/plateaus), buuut I'm just curious to hear your thoughts on the matter.
working retail / calories burned?
/u/monkychunky
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:23:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sacqo/working_retail_calories_burned/
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hi! i was wondering if anybody is in a similar position to me: i track my intake and am really curious / confused about how to factor in my activity.
i live in a downtown area where i walk a bunch, as well as work retail part-time (the red store with the dog; sometimes i end up with 14,000+ steps for an eight-hour shift!). sometimes i try to use websites to calculate my tdee and i am never really sure what to mark down as my activity level. i'm not sedentary but also am not going to the gym for structured exercise.
on the days that i do work or walk more than usual, i often give myself a little more wiggle room with intake because i know i'm burning more calories.
i know a lot of this has to do with intensity of activity, my current weight and height, and how long the interval of activity is but i was curious to see if anybody has found a way to quantify the calories you're burning while you hover between couch potato and light activity, and if you even count that at all? i average between 12,000 and 20,000 steps per day.
sending love 2 everyone else experiencing the beginnings of holiday hell at their minimum wage jobs! lol
​
[Discussion] Bread should be illegal
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:22:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saci1/bread_should_be_illegal/
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Need I say more?
Relapse and starting over with no hope
/u/feelsomethinggg
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:20:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sac7c/relapse_and_starting_over_with_no_hope/
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Hi guys, just made a new account and I've been lurking for the past few weeks.
I struggled with my ED since I was like 14 or 15. My lowest was about 105 and I'm 5'7 , I kinda bounced up and down 105-120 for years with binging, purging etc. I finally all but quit restricting about 2 years ago. Still had an awful relationship with food. But I started to think I was okay. And as time and life went on I completely fell off the fucking wagon. Now I'm 180 and I could literally kill myself right now. I can't even stand to look at myself. The hatred is insane. And I refuse to spiral any further. The thoughts are back. But I feel hopeless. Such a tremendous amount of weight to lose. At least 60 pounds. I fasted for 24 hours from Friday to Saturday. Ate a meal of ~550 cals, then another 29 hours with a meal of ~400cals. I don't know how long until I start feel like shit. But honestly st this point idec. I need this weight off and I need it now.
Ugh sorry just ranting. Thanks for reading :)
Good luck to all. Stay safe.
[Rant/Rave] Munchies
/u/thelittlestbishop
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:20:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sac4u/munchies/
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I just want to vent that I went to smoke with a couple of friends (the good weed) and now im just shoving whatever I can in my mouth after I successfully restricted for three days straight ugh
Losing weight by starving makes me feel like a fraud
/u/caithaa [✧・ﾟ5'7 | 117 | 21F・ﾟ✧]
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:18:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sabn3/losing_weight_by_starving_makes_me_feel_like_a/
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I watch a lot of those what I eat in a day videos on YouTube, and all these beautiful models will make these elaborate healthy meals for themselves and meal prep veggies and salads and overnight oats. They'll do some really aesthetically pleasing workout like pilates and yoga and look super elegant. And then there are all those videos of people losing weight by eating healthy and working out every day for like 1-2 years.
Meanwhile I'm here, eating half a serving of cereal without milk and 16 cups of coffee and magically waking up a pound lighter every day. It's so unfair to people doing it RIGHT. Not just being mentally ill and disgusting like I am when I get that excited little rush when I see a lower number on the scale every morning. Like I did not just deserve that. I just laid in bed & smoked & ate 5 pieces of cheerios. I don't deserve to feel accomplished for that. But I totally do and it makes me feel like a sad fraud.
Update: it’s over, thanks guys <3
/u/pacific_rimmed [5’6” | CW: 126 | HW: 152 | GW: 119 | UGW: 105 | F ]
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saazl/update_its_over_thanks_guys_3/
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Hey folks, a lil while ago I posted about how I was gonna break up with my shitty manipulative boyfriend when I was skinny enough. Well guess what?
Last week he went to smoke weed with a friend on the night of my granddad’s funeral, rather than be with me. Today, he got tickets to see my favourite band in another city with a girl who used to send him nudes.
I took the advice of all you beautiful people, and didn’t wait till I lost more weight. I’m still not as skinny as I’d like to be, but when I came home after I dumped him, I felt beautiful and strong and powerful. I felt kind and sweet and smart and no longer held at the mercy of someone who didn’t know my worth.
He’s vindictive and I’d be lying if I’m not afraid of what he’ll do next. But I’m proud of myself and I want to say thanks to all you guys because having this place of support and understanding, and reading about all your struggles with shitty partners made me feel so much less alone.
So thank you!
[Rant/Rave] Birthday Is In 2 Months...Time To Restrict!!
/u/gothcherrie [5’2 | CW : 131 | GW : 88 | BMI : 23 | 13F ]
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:13:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saan9/birthday_is_in_2_monthstime_to_restrict/
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I went to my sister’s birthday party, and surprisingly stayed under 2,000 calories. But all this birthday talk got me thinking. Oh shit! My birthday is in 2 months! And I’m still not at my GW!
It honestly didn’t bother me at first. Last month I was thinking about how my birthday was in 3 months. But then, something happened. Specifically, a boy happened. I know, cliché.
I spent the entire night flirting with my sister’s friend. He’s two years older than me and I’ve known about him since I was around 9 and him 10 about to turn 11. Which makes it weird. But personally, he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. And our friendship has grown stronger than his and my sister’s. The problem is, he never really wants to be romantically involved with anybody. Almost all his female friends, including my sister, has had a crush on him, and ultimately, got turned down. Mainly because he doesn’t want to complicate things. But my intrusive ED thoughts told me, it’s because those girls weren’t thin, and if I achieve my GW, then he’ll be more interested. Which is fucked up!
I’m not fat, but not skinny either. Which makes me feel sooo plain. My GW is 88. Last time I weighed myself I was 131, which was in March, so I could honestly be in the 140s. Considering my time frame, it’s unrealistic to get there, even when I do my regular restriction of just black coffee and the occasional cucumber. Losing 50+ pounds is so much for just 2 months. So I’ve sufficed with being around 114-110. Technically, it’s still a lot to lose in so little time. But hey! What have I got to lose!
I’d honestly rather be called fat than called average because they’re the same fucking thing
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:13:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saala/id_honestly_rather_be_called_fat_than_called/
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I’m not underweight, but my BMI is around 19 rn. I’ve vented about my weight struggles on Reddit and irl to close friends, and I often get the same “Nooo that’s a healthy weight that’s average that’s like the low side of average you’re fine!” And it just really makes me angry. Because yeah, I’m not underweight. But I just want somebody to tell me I’m skinny. And being called any variation of average is like a punch to the fucking gut. The “average” for women in the US is 2” shorter than me and 45 lbs heavier. I don’t want to be average.
YouTuber with an eating disorder?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit [168cm| 75kg | 26 | 10kg | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:12:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9saah4/youtuber_with_an_eating_disorder/
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Idk if this is an appropriate place to share this but I really want to talk about this. So there’s this YouTuber (Meredith foster) who has been plagued with eating disorder rumours. What do you guys think if you watch her. She triggers me so much, with how little she eats and how clean her food is. I’m not going to details with the eating disorder accusations, there’s plenty of videos on YouTube talking about. I just want to know your opinion and thoughts on the whole thing. On one hand, it’s not okay to throw anorexia accusations yet on the other hand her behaviour really makes me believe she has an eating disorder and is in denial about it.
[Rant/Rave] I've just discovered something "amazing"
/u/cattivity
Created: Sun Oct 28 23:10:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sa9wp/ive_just_discovered_something_amazing/
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I always found c/s-ing horribly unsatisfying but holy fuck I just did it with a bag of lifesaver gummies and it was almost as good as eating them. The texture was nice to just have in my mouth and I got enough of the flavor to be somewhat satisfied. I'm not proud but at least I didn't eat the whole bag of lifesaver gummies!
Downside: my jaw hurts like motherfucker now
[Rant/Rave] Why it's all been worth it to me... [rave]
/u/gatechnightman
Created: Sun Oct 28 22:55:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sa6ts/why_its_all_been_worth_it_to_me_rave/
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It finally happened. This weekend I finally felt like I walked out of a tumblr thinspo post. I was wearing a very small crop top and my stomach looked concave and I almost felt comfortable.
But that's not the best part... my boyfriend was able to wrap his arms around me nearly twice. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom with ease. He made it obvious that he could feel my hip bones and my ribs protruding while he cuddled with me. He traced my collarbones and my spine with his fingers. I felt small. I felt bony and I felt dainty.
The cherry on top? He had his hands around my waist and said that I have such a teeny tiny waist. Hearing those words made all of my hard work worth it.
I still have a ways to go but I'm getting closer and it's moments like those that help me keep going. Gotta leave a skinny corpse.
well heres to any progress i made; gonna purge that too!!
/u/101_honey [🌼5'1.5" / cw: fucking huge / gw-101]
Created: Sun Oct 28 22:52:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sa6cc/well_heres_to_any_progress_i_made_gonna_purge/
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my mam decided to look into what i spend my money on because hey why not lets fucking go through my spending this is a GREAT idea and she... is not happy with the amount i spend and is now planning on monitoring my spending. she is now keeping an eye on how much i drink/eat etc because i totally moved 1200 km away so she could still do this because hey having someone try to control my shit always goes well and i mean how good my mental health WAS doesn't matter and hey its not like i've told her 129391238 times that her doing shit like this makes me crazy as fuck but like GREAT FUCKING GREAT. i guess instead of using booze to cope with things and now that i can't binge i'm just gonna start purging regularly again and itll just be my normal food cool whatever everything is fine wow. its not like i had damn near totally stopped purging!! (i mean i was drinking a fuckload too but eh we do what we can) maybe i'll get skinny that'd be at least one good thing to come from this shit.
she made me show her a bunch of bank statements and whatever and she quizzed me on them and she was literally visiting me for like 5 hours and thats what she did
and like shes on vacation right now and she was going through my shit WHILE SHES ON ANOTHER CONTINENT great awesome and she freaking called me from there to yell at me!!! great!! i feel so fine!! totally great!!
#tl;dr because this is just a gibberish word vomity mess
#EVERYTHING IS TOTALLY FINE AND I AM NOT FEELING ANXIOUS AND SHAKY AT ALL.
[Help] Is it possible to NOT lose weight while restricting?
/u/metalhair
Created: Sun Oct 28 22:44:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9sa4qx/is_it_possible_to_not_lose_weight_while/
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If you’re eating at a super high deficit, counting calories extremely closely, getting lots of activity and long fasting periods - is it at all possible that you may not lose weight? Even at a bf% like 26-25%?
New here
/u/restlessbones
Created: Sun Oct 28 22:18:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s9ywr/new_here/
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Hi guys. Ive been a long time lurker but finally had the guts to post. I don't want to make a long post so in short; I moved about a year ago to a different US state with my boyfriend. I don't know anybody here and food became my friend. I gained so much wait and it finally hit me in the face Saturday. I was finally able to see my self not fitting even on my reserved extra room clothes. I NEED TO CHANGE! So as of tomorrow I will start fasting. My concern is that I'm in college and need to stay focus and alert. I know how to keep my energy up but how do I avoid having mental cloudyness? If that makes sense. I tried it once and kept having brain farts. Any help will be appreciated!
Not restricting made me feel disgusting
/u/pinatadog
Created: Sun Oct 28 22:12:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s9xko/not_restricting_made_me_feel_disgusting/
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So typically I eat a thousand calories a day (high but you know). However, my mom got the rare opportunity to visit me at school this weekend so we decided to try a bunch of new restaurants so I could enjoy something that wasn't the kind-of-cruddy dining hall food. I usually eat one meal a day with a snack later on but my mom is a very standard breakfast-lunch-dinner person.
Everything I had was very delicious but I ate 1200-1500 calories from Thursday to Sunday. I feel like I literally watched my stomach, face, and thighs balloon in size. I am waiting to borrow a scale from my housemate because I am so afraid that I have put on at least five pounds and ruined my progress. I don't purge nor do I want to, but at night I would feel like I had to go vomit to make myself feel less gross.
I feel bad for my mom because I broke down crying twice over the weekend because of how ashamed I was at how much I had eaten (I didn't tell her that). For the whole weekend, she told me how thin and beautiful and "small" I was but I just don't see it - she said the same thing when I was twenty pounds heavier. I did eat things that were kind of salty (falafel, pizza, etc.) so maybe I am retaining water. I am planning on restricting to 500-600 calories tomorrow and for the foreseeable future (plus trying to get back to the gym for the first time in like a month) just to be sure.
When my mom called me from home tonight and asked what I had for dinner tonight, I said pasta because I didn't eat and I didn't want to worry her. She told me I need to make healthier choices. Just made me feel worse.
Tonight was the perfect microcosm of my ED
/u/Call_me_Cassius [5'5" | CW: too high | GW: too low | -45lb | M21]
Created: Sun Oct 28 22:06:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s9w5a/tonight_was_the_perfect_microcosm_of_my_ed/
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I only had 38,000 steps and I wanted 40,000, so I decide to walk to the liquor store. Then I decide I'll get more steps in if I walk to the gas station and the liquor store. I set out.
I walk to the gas station and buy cigarettes, monster, and caffeine pills. I get anxious that the cashier somehow knows, and to offset suspicion I buy twinkies too. I eat them right outside the door (260kcal.) I walk to the park and smoke there. The longer I'm outside the house, the less time I have to binge. I walk to the liquor store to buy vodka. They don't have the exact brand and size I planned. Rather than get a larger bottle or a different brand, I buy beer (171kcal a bottle.) I walk home.
I listen to song that make me feel bad, hoping to trigger restriction. Every time they start to make me feel bad, I switch to songs that don't. Then I get mad at myself for giving in and switch to the bad songs. I do this all night. I never finish a single song.
I think about how it's almost halloween. I think about the goal weight I had for Halloween and how there's no chance I can meet it. Even if I fast the entire rest of the time, take laxatives, diuretics, work out til I drop, I can't meet it. I think about trying anyway.
I get home. I have decided to fast. I collect all the food I have that might go bad before I finish, intending to throw it all out. I eat it all instead (~1500kcal?) I feel terrible. Since I'm binging anyway, I go ahead and drink all the beer I just bought (1026kcal.) I'm drunk and upset. Instead of doing homework I go bed. I lay in bed for at least an hour, feeling my ribs. Feeling my collarbones. Crying, wanting someone else to feel them, wanting someone else to know I have them. I count them. I wish they were easier to count. I feel my hip bones. I feel my teeth and pretend I'm feeling the bones inside me. I wish my skin and fat and muscle, everything would fall off and I would just be bones.
I get out of bed. I take laxatives. I remember I already took laxatives before I left the apartment, and dread tomorrow. I remember back when I used to put 48 hours minimum between laxative uses. I remember when I used to put 24 hours. I grab my cigarettes. I grab a bar of baker's chocolate. I smoke on the porch. I eat an ounce of chocolate between each cigarette I keep waiting for the cigarettes to make me not want the chocolate. It doesn't work. I eat the whole bar (1280kcal.)
I go back to bed. I think about how tomorrow will go. I'll have to do my homework in the morning. I'll be mad at myself for not doing it the night before since I'd eaten. I'll tell myself I can't focus on homework if I'm hungry and eat. I think about what I'll eat. Eggplant. But eggplant has too many calories, so I'll drop it in oil and make it even worse and cry about it. I won't do my homework. I'll skip class because I'm unprepared. Since I skip class, I'll go home earlier. The longer I'm at home the longer I have to resist food. I'll tell myself I can do it. I know I can't. I tell myself I'm going to fast. Every time my mind drifts from that word for a moment, I start planning what food I'll eat.
I think about myself walking home. I picture how fat and pathetic I must have looked. I picture myself, or someone else who isn't me but is how I wished I were, skinny and doing the same thing. It's still sad, but it's sympathetic, not disgusting. I wish I were sympathetic and not disgusting. I wish I were skinny.
I remember my last restrict cycle. How much weight I lost. I try to figure out what's different between now and then, between now and even just earlier this month. I could fast for 8 days and now I can't even go a couple hours.
I think about what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I remember when my clothes fit looser. I remember when my clothes fit tighter. I remember when my clothes fit. I imagine what I'd wear if I were skinny.
I cry. I get out of bed. I type up this post. Now I'm going to shower and feel my bones some more. I feel guilty about tomorrow already.
56,000 steps.
[Rant/Rave] [Spoiler] I didn't learn anything from trying to recover.
/u/chromosin
Created: Sun Oct 28 21:28:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s9n3m/spoiler_i_didnt_learn_anything_from_trying_to/
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And I don't want to discourage anyone from entering recovery because in 100% honesty I don't think I had the right mindset and resources to enter a promising recovery but I still thought it would work.
Long story short is that I finally broke out of a binge restrict cycle of losing and regaining the same 10 lbs. I don't really know what happened but I ended up losing 10 more lbs more rapidly than usual. At first I felt like I was walking on air. But I couldn't just deny how fucked I felt health-wise. I don't think I've ever seen myself shed that much hair before.
I talked about this before but, vanity goals slowly deteriorated into having some sort of organization in my life. I suffer from add symptoms and I procrastinate like hell. Losing weight has been the only thing I've been able to stay on top of give or take. So when I suddenly felt this boost of normalcy, things just got out of hand.
Learning to eat normally... I guess I've lost that ability forever. I can't look at a pile of food without shoving every bit of it into my mouth. I don't know why I can't understand that one serving is *enough*. I feel so empty when I don't eat the whole thing and when I *do* eat the whole thing I just feel sick.
I've gained back all 10 of those pounds and along with it have missed so many days of school and haven't done anything productive. When my eating gets out of control, so does my life. When I lost those 10 lbs, I was using up every bit of time being productive to distract myself. But when I eat... god I just hate myself so much that I just shut myself in and lay in bed all day.
I don't want it anymore. And so now I'm back here back on my bullshit after being gone for so long. I need order.... I can't deal with this anymore. And I'll do anything to feel like I'm in order again. Even if that means I'm going to starve again.
Any fasting techniques?
/u/cutetinytroll
Created: Sun Oct 28 21:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s9idy/any_fasting_techniques/
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Have always planned to but didn’t think I’d have the strength to not slip up. I promised myself I will attempt to fast tomorrow!! Any tips before I embark! Thank u!
[Help] Dry Skin any advice?
/u/Ana2bThin
Created: Sun Oct 28 21:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s9gzv/dry_skin_any_advice/
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Today the skin on my hands is really dry and rough even when I keep adding lots of hand cream and even skin oil.
Does anyone else have this and what do you do?
All i can talk about is food
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sun Oct 28 20:38:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s9ac2/all_i_can_talk_about_is_food/
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I have become so fucking insufferable to be around since I can only think about and talk about food.
I'll be with friends trying to have fun and for some reason start talking about protein bars or cake or something dumb. My brain is fried and in scared I'm destroying relationships. DAE have this problem?
ALSO I keep sort of drunk telling people about my eating issues, I'm not underweight or anything so they probably can't force me to do shit but like oh boy why I am this way.
[Rant/Rave] Decided I’m gonna eat whatever I want for my birthday tomorrow
/u/realthrowawayhrs
Created: Sun Oct 28 20:27:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s97f2/decided_im_gonna_eat_whatever_i_want_for_my/
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I decided I should treat myself to more than like 500 calories for once because I deserve it or whatever. I’m stressed but excited. I started tonight with a birthday dinner and had pizza and cheesecake and I hate myself but I’m trying not to because a bitch is turning 19! I have some petit fours for midnight and I’m so psyched. Just thought I’d share some of the only thoughts I’m having that are close to normal and I hope I give some positive vibes to y’all! Feel free to use my birthday as a guilt free excuse to treat yourself if that’s what you need :)
[Rant/Rave] I overate - but I didn’t binge.
/u/iamthedonquixote [5'5" | CW: too much | gross | GW: 115| F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 20:26:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s975c/i_overate_but_i_didnt_binge/
---
I hate that I overrate, but I can’t help but feeling proud that I actually stopped whenever it could’ve turned into something so much worse.
Mixed emotions. Tomorrow is a fasting day, but I still feel a little bit of pride. Not happiness, but pride.
What do you guys do about chest pains?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 20:15:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s94jp/what_do_you_guys_do_about_chest_pains/
---
I'm not trying to ask for medical advice or diagnosis or anything, but like, is this normal? My chest keeps cramping up and I don't know
[Rant/Rave] Got ogled and rather liked it
/u/mmblarg
Created: Sun Oct 28 20:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s93gd/got_ogled_and_rather_liked_it/
---
So I don’t get looks or catcalls and i’m also married and don’t flirt, so this little instance of being stared at by a stranger of the opposite sex stupidly made my day, haha
Bit of background - I’m a bigger lady and not typically the type to catch people’s attention. I have a lot of hatred for myself most days, but then other days i’ll feel like my hair falls just right, my top is the right amount of tight, my jeans fit nice, and my boobs are squished together in my favorite push bras. Today was one of these days, and i was pissed to boot.
So i stormed out for a walk, held my head high, shoulders back, and strutted my stuff down the road heading towards our downtown area. I usually walk with my shoulders rounded and head down but today i felt like owning the sidewalk and watched the people as they drove past.
I was getting a couple of following eyes, turning heads, and objectifying grins, far more than i normally notice. At first i figured it’s because people naturally feel when someone is watching them and will look in that direction or because we’re predators by nature and our eyes are naturally drawn to movement such as a lone person walking. Then i got scared and thought “everyone is looking at me... i’m a freak!!! They’re looking at something freakish!” But pulled myself out of that thought process pretty quickly and continued on my way.
Then the best thing of the entire day happened. As i watched the people driving past i catch sight of an attractive young man in the lane closest to the sidewalk i’m strutting along. Traffic is moving slowly and i’m watching him from my peripherals as he gets closer. Then i see him blatantly turning his head to follow me like he just witnessed a car crash! He’s close enough now that i can see he’s very attractive (honestly just my type with tattoos, ear gauges, and that sort of 1930’s barber shop beard) I brazenly turned my head to meet his gaze as he drives past and shoot him a teasing smirk. he gets the biggest grin on his face while he almost frantically tries to look at the traffic ahead of him and back to me! Holy fuck cute! I honestly only ever get this kind of attention from older men that have no personal boundaries, but this, this was the best 60 second silent compliment i have ever received!
Restriction and intermittent fasting is being good to me. This just helped reaffirm that i’m gonna work on another 5-6 day fast since i’ve been struggling with a binge-fest the last 5 days.
Thank you random hot guy, and thank you Redditors for listening to my silly story
[Discussion] Food weight is nuts
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 20:10:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s93a7/food_weight_is_nuts/
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So I posted about my mom trying to pull me out of college yesterday. We've come to a temporary compromise. I'm going to a doctor with her tomorrow to get weighed and have bloodwork done. I have to not eat for 12 hours (appt is in the morning), and they're going to run some tests and get the results back. If I'm good, then I get to stay at college.
To get to this point I had to show her that I can eat and take care of myself. Friday she arrived in the evening, so I fasted for 46 hours and broke eating dinner with her. Yesterday I ate so much freaking food to show her i could. Same with today.
Since I can't eat in the morning, I ate a ton tonight (worked my way through all the leftovers in the fridge. Would have been smarter to eat a shit ton of veggies, from a calorie POV, but w/e) and I will be water loading before the appointment as well. Ate a bunch of high sodium food today and yesterday to try to encourage my body to retain water.
Just weighed myself in secret and HOLY FUCK. I weighed 95 pounds Friday morning. Tonight I weigh 108. I know it's food weight and clothes (I weighed in pajamas), but DAMN. I have 13 pounds of food and diet soda in my body.
So I'm gonna be solid for weigh in, I guess. But the worst thing is that part of me cant help thinking how the doctors are all gonna think I'm a fat fuck and a fake wannarexic 🙃
but I want to stay in college more than anything, so that's just the way it goes, I guess.
[Other] realization i had about my binges
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 20:02:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s914x/realization_i_had_about_my_binges/
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i think i might be dead if i didn’t binge every once in a while? i’m about 96 lbs on an empty stomach, but my weekly binges keep me from going lower. i know my restriction/fasting will make me continue to lose weight but my weekly binges are probably slowing that down by a lot. part of me is horrified at my disgusting lack of self control but the other part of me is a little relieved that i might live a bit longer than i would otherwise? idk. my end goal is probably a bmi of 13 but i also want to stay alive at least until the end of the semester so i don’t think ill hit that goal for a while.
[Goal] I want to get better
/u/uiume
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:49:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8xr5/i_want_to_get_better/
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But I still want to lose weight.
I figured out that I can aalmost get to my GW (114) by Thanksgiving if I eat 1,200 calories a day and exercise at least 6 days a week. This seems too good to be true, right? I really want it to work...I feel like I *need* it to work. I can't keep fasting and binging and purging and hurting myself like this. I can't keep isolating myself, being paranoid of everyone, constantly obsessing over food. The rational part of me knows I want to get better.
I know that just because I up my calories and start healthily exercising, I'm not "recovered" or anything. I know I'll still have bad days, weeks...but this has to make it easier somehow, right?
​
[Discussion] What do you do instead of eating?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:49:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8xr0/what_do_you_do_instead_of_eating/
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I need 1 thing to do instead of eating. Like I recently broke my internet bad habits and instead of internet for entertainment, I go read a book.
I don't know what the equivalent of that is for eating. SOS.
It needs to be something I can do wherever, so like if I'm in class or something I can't just get up for an hour long walk lol. thanks for any suggestions!!
[Rant/Rave] It’s ok if you binged today.
/u/lilmdjd [5’3 | CW: 130 | BMI: 23 | LW: 94| - 17| 23F ]
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:48:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8xmf/its_ok_if_you_binged_today/
---
Weekends are hard. I always end up over my calorie goal on the weekends. I’ve mostly accepted it. I know a lot of us may need to hear this:
It is ok if you binged today. It’s ok if you ate maintenance. It is ok. Everything will be ok. You are not disgusting. You are not shameful. You are battling a big, powerful mental illness. There will be bad days, days that knock you off your feet. We just have to keep getting back up.
I absolve you of your guilt. Tomorrow is a new day. Every moment is a fresh start. Drink some water, take a shower, tidy your room, do whatever you need to do to make yourself 10-15% more comfortable.
I am sending you all love and good vibes 💕
[Rant/Rave] I tried on clothes and felt HAPPY!
/u/greycat91
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:46:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8x1m/i_tried_on_clothes_and_felt_happy/
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Trying on clothes in store typically sends me into a spiral of depression and self hatred especially because I’m tall and sometimes have to wear larger sizes so they’ll be long enough.
But this weekend I went shopping with my mom and I had such a good time. I tried on a tiny XS dress and it fit and I even thought I looked pretty good!! I didn’t buy that one but I was just excited that it fit lol. I also bought a dress in size L and I didn’t have a meltdown about it because my mind was able to logically think “this need to be long enough and wide enough for your shoulders and you can’t change your shoulders no matter how much you starve”
I’m just really proud of myself and my mom was so thrilled that I was trying stuff on and enjoying myself that I wanted to share! I hope you guys had good weekends too💗 this community has helped me so much on good and bad days that I’m really thankful
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like a fraud???? (AKA every weekend....)
/u/nonfatchaitealatte [5'7.5" | CW: 148.2lbs | 23.2 | -77.3 |F | GW: 135]
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:44:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8whq/dae_feel_like_a_fraud_aka_every_weekend/
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Full disclosure: I am undiagnosed officially but clearly have an unhealthy relationship with food.
​
Okay so I've lost nearly 80lbs and have a healthy BMI for the first time since I was 12 but now that I'm getting closer to my goal weight I've been way looser with restricting. I pig out every weekend and have been getting up to 1200 cals nearly every day (I'm sitting at nearly 2000 today ugh). Went to the doc yesterday and he told me I should be eating more etc etc etc but all I see is my love handles and thicc thighs and 23.something BMI. On the other hand....I was just eating Mac and Cheese from the fridge with my hands lmao. I feel like this obese person that I started as and I just feel so out of control. I hate myself lmao :) helppppp
[Discussion] Low cal grocery list
/u/taylizzle- [Height:5’3 | CW:112 ]
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:40:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8vk8/low_cal_grocery_list/
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What’s your go to must have grocery list ?🤠
Mine is kale, frozen berries, progesso, popcorn seeds and oatmeal
[Discussion] Losing weight with IUD impossible?
/u/notworthausername [5'7" | 28F | 20.45 | CW: 131 // floatingspirit]
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8uty/losing_weight_with_iud_impossible/
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So I’ve gained weight (20-25lbs) since I got the IUD inserted in February, and while I think a lot of that had to do with me drinking more alcohol / binge eating, I had so many days where I’d fast but... for two months I’ve been sober, vegan, no binging... and I’ve hardly lost five pounds?! When I tried losing earlier this spring it was near impossible. Seriously considering getting my IUD removed but I don’t know if it’s just my body or if I’m making this shit up in my head and using it as an excuse but.... last time I quit drinking, in a month I lost ten pounds I just don’t know how the fuck to lose it.
Just wondering if anyone has had these types of issues as well?
[Discussion] Weeeee are never ever ever, getting back together
/u/EchteLiebeBvB09
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:37:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8usx/weeeee_are_never_ever_ever_getting_back_together/
---
I had an aha moment on the elliptical today. I’ve really been able to dig my heels in this week with a lot of help from this subreddit along with being relocated to train for a new job in a supermarket this week. I managed to lose 3.5lbs in 6 days... the only time that has ever happened was when I’m high school when I probably got mono and was sick for days... anyway, I get back to the gym today after not being there for the last three or four weeks and Taylor Swift (title song) comes on & I dedicated that song to both food and fat. I’m soooooo over both of them weighing me down and holding me back and having too much control over me. I am really in a place mentally to smash my goals. And it’s funny that working in a supermarket is actually helping me get the job done. I walked over 17k steps on Friday and was in and out of the bakery to not only smell the cookies and croissants but to tell them to go fuck themselves. I bought myself my first ever white monster along with mixed greens and baby carrots for lunch. Best. Lunch. Ever.
So, did any of you have any aha moments or thoughts you are able to focus on to strengthen your resolve? I’d love to strengthen the arsenal to combat the mental warfare to help keep me on focused and disciplined.
Also, just want to say that I absolutely love how supportive you all are of one another, whether someone had a binge or managed to conquer their first fast, you show compassion concern & praise without being mean hurtful or judgmental, it’s so nice to be here.
[Rant/Rave] Maintaining while restricting
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:26:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8rvs/maintaining_while_restricting/
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I've been restricting and IF for three weeks and I went from 129 to 117. But now I keep bouncing back and forth from 117.4 to 118.8 and nothing lower, nothing higher. I'm getting so fucking frustrated because it's been nearly a week of steady maintaining and I'm literally eating 400 calories a day AT MOST when I'm not fasting. I'm active enough that I should be burning more than my intake so WHYYYYYY am I stuck at 117. 😫
little halloween success!
/u/whatsupbitchezzz [19F | 5'2" | CW 108 | SW 130 | GW2-105 UGW-95]
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:15:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8opx/little_halloween_success/
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so i'd been stressed for a while about halloween weekend and the costumes. i've been "dieting" for weeks (even though my life is a 24/7 diet let's be real). when the day (friday) came around, i decided to get hammered so i'd be confident enough and i wore.........literally a pair of fishnet tights with a leopard print pulled up to my ribs, leopard ears, a bra, and a pair of booty shorts. I was naked, basically.
and OMG guys. a man who's been ignoring me for months that I'd \*die\* to date responded to my instagram asking me to dinner and telling me i looked great. my friend with benefits texted me asking if i'd wear my costume for our next dick appointment. AND at the club, i said "excuse me" so that I could squeeze and sit next to my friend, and one of the guys at the table said, "you can fit! you're so skinny!".
is this....success?? wow. being the thinnest i've ever been is SUCH A rush.
[Rant/Rave] Obsessed with ageing
/u/Pinkdustbunny
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8oo8/obsessed_with_ageing/
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I have a such a complex about ageing. I just turned 27 but ever since I was a teenager I've dreaded getting older. I just feel like women are so much prettier and more glowy when they're younger. The prettiest celebrities look better when they're in their early 20s and it's just feels like its downhill from there. The though of being 30 and older makes me so sad even looking at photos of myself from when I was 18 it breaks my heart that I will never be young again. I think it might be part of why I keep myself underweight because I gained some weight in college and losing it felt almost like reverse aging if that makes sense. Idk if I just sound crazy. Also I kind of feel like a phony being on here because I've been maintaining being 7ish lbs underweight ( about what I was in highschool) and not really restricting lately but I thought if anyone can relate maybe someone on here would.
Got some perspective today
/u/Langsverd
Created: Sun Oct 28 19:13:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8o8g/got_some_perspective_today/
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I bought a new brand of kibbles for my dog recently and was not sure of the amount I was supposed to give him (it can vary from one brand to another) so I calculated his TDEE online and that tiny neutered dog no bigger than a house cat needs approximately 500 cal a day!
I suddenly felt stupid to aim for that amount for myself. I'm not saying I'm cured but it did make me less anxious about going a little over my budget once in a while.
I don’t actually know what normal people look like
/u/TotallyNotARadar [6'1" | CW:110 | GW:105 | BMI: 13.86 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:46:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8haj/i_dont_actually_know_what_normal_people_look_like/
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Like really — what does a normal, healthy weighted person look like? I’ve just realized that in my mind, for whatever messed up reason, people only fall into the “skinny” or “overweight” category. I can’t conjure an image of what the stomach or back of a normal person looks like. My school demographics tend heavily towards underweight. I live in Colorado, the least obese state (or second) in the US.
Can they see their hips? Can they see their collar bone? How much can they feel beneath their skin? Like I’m not being an edgy poetic here, I legit don’t remember and it’s fucking with my head.
Resistance bands ??
/u/taylizzle- [Height:5’3 | CW:112 ]
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8gd7/resistance_bands/
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Will they make me look slimmer or make me bulk up ?
[Rant/Rave] This weekend...
/u/comrade_toastboy
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:38:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8f9p/this_weekend/
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It was homecoming at my university and I ate more than I planned and then I had date day with my bf today and ate more than intended. So I took five dulcolax and will try to fast this week.
[Discussion] Let’s share rules!
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:31:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8dgr/lets_share_rules/
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What are some of your eating rules? What are your limits? Do they help or hurt you?
Mine come to:
-2 meals a day
-Don’t finish the food (New!)
-Vegan diet, no breads or grains except oatmeal, no nuts or nut butters, no grapes or bananas, no processed foods (or sweets) except the occasional protein bar or hummus, nothing cooked in oil/sauces, no juices or calorific drinks except Kombucha, no added sugars on top of things, absolutely no fried foods... It goes on, probably some others.
-Fast after exams
-Eat uncooked vs cooked
And I think that’s all I can think of right now?
Finally bought a scale.
/u/1200s808s [5’ 7” | 119 | 18.6 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:26:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8c2x/finally_bought_a_scale/
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I've been afraid of owning a scale for a couple years now. I have such a bad habit on hopping on anyones scale I see in a bathroom. The last time I weighed myself at my boyfriends I was around 130lbs a month ago.
Went to run errands and decided I'd finally buy a scale. The cashier didn't even try to make awkward small talk as she loaded my bag. Six Vitamin Water Zeros, a pint of Halo Top, and a scale.Ripped the scale packaging open as soon as I got home and calibrated it.
119lbs. Two pounds away from the goal weight I wrote down in my journal the other day. Lighter than I have been in years.
I know as soon as I open my journal to record my weight I'll scratch out the number in my gw to 107lbs. I feel broken.
When you’re too frugal to buy diet soda at restaurants so you get water while your friends eat.
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:23:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8b55/when_youre_too_frugal_to_buy_diet_soda_at/
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https://i.redd.it/b4teybkhq0v11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Rant about being underweight and still not feeling good enough
/u/OkWorking7 [171cm| CW 54.7kg | 18.6 | GW 52 | UGW 50 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:16:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s899v/rant_about_being_underweight_and_still_not/
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This is just going to be a full whingey rant so I'm sorry, click away if that's not what you're about. Also it got long so sorry about my boring ramblings. Basically what really really sucks is that even though I'm on the verge of being underweight for my height my body still doesn't look good??? Like what the fuck it's actually so fucking unfair and stupid. I've mentioned around this sub that I recently got a body scan which showed my exact lean mass, bone density and body fat %. It was interesting and it also really scared me. My lean mass (weight made from muscle) is only 38kg, the average for my demographic is 43.5-46kg. That's really fucked up and I know it's probably from all my under eating because I already do weight lifting twice a week. I've set myself a goal to gain 2kg of lean mass by the end of February. Gaining muscle is really hard so I probably won't meet that but I'm going to try.
​
Anyway this means 1. I absolutely cannot under eat because it will just lead to more lean mass loss 2. I need to be genuinely trying to hit 100g of protein on my macros everyday 3. I need to get serious and start lifting really heavy. This is just really depressing because even though I definitely look skinny I don't have a flat stomach and I know I could get one quicker from under eating than from working out more. Just UGH if someone is basically underweight then why don't they look good as they are??? Fuck. Anyway my body fat is 27.6% lol. But also I have no visceral fat (fat around internal organs) it's all subcutaneous which is really good and except for bone density, which was below average, all my other markers were excellent. Sigh, it's scary to think that I'm going to actively be trying to maintain this weight and I will probably be holding onto a lot of water weight the more I start lifting heavy. But at the same time, the longer I leave things and don't start trying to build some muscle the longer it will take me to get to a better body composition and the more likely it is I will lose more lean mass and seriously put my health at risk. I put way too much effort into my life to give myself serious health issues before I'm 30.
I don't like purging is only seen as the worst form of an ED while binge-eating/fasting/over-exercising is normalized in today's culture
/u/bunnywithbpd [5"2 || 104]
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:12:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s886c/i_dont_like_purging_is_only_seen_as_the_worst/
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I always felt like literal self-induced vomiting is the worst and "truly" shows you have an ED, because it's seen as common for other people to do other equally bad ED prone behavior like laxative abuse, fasting diet trends, binge eating, compulsive exercise, and also body image.
Saying stuff like
*"I just gorged on 4000 calories today and I feel sooo fat :("*
*"Man I ran 4 miles today so I could burn off this cake I'm gonna eat!"*
*"I'm trying this new OMAD thing I saw on the internet and I've been eating only 700 calories a day and it feels like one big meal!!"*
*"Oh my god girl, we should try that paleo diet when new years comes around, I really want to look good for bikini season, I gained sooo much weight over the holidays! I'm a whale right now!"*
Like okay, those are acceptable to say but if you say you deliberately purged, you have a full blown ED. You need medical help, you need therapy etc. And I feel like it brings up a few points:
1. I feel like I don't have an ED unless I'm purging. High restriction but still crying and feeling controlled? Nope. Using laxatives after feeling guilty for eating a meal? Yea but it's not as bad as puking! Cried in front of the mirror because you feel fat? Who hasn't done that before? You're just a normal human with regular weight problems!
2. I keep seeing as binge-eating normal. I feel like it should be equally as bad. You're stuffing your face beyond physical fullness, you're inhaling a high intake of sodium and sugar and in the long run you're due for health problems binge-eating risks (diabetes, high blood pressure, medically overweight) just as purging promises you will suffer later in the long run (sore throat, GERD etc) and I often mistake binge-eating as self care. It's not self care if you eat double your TDEE in an hour or less, that should be seen more as self harm than anything.
3. I try to stop purging and think I'm recovered when I'm carrying every other terrible behavior that contributes to my ED and makes me feel like purging.
4. Maybe I'm hypersensitive but I wish people just treat those issues as ACTUAL issues instead of "oh everyone has this and its normal!" No it's not normal to yo-yo diet, or call yourself a pig or stuff your face to the point of no return
Yup, I'm so sick of seeing binge-eating as some normal thing everyone does. I get that most people don't have overwhelming problems and probably only complain very rarely but people keep seeing it as "self care" and encourage it especially towards woman like if you're on your period, or if you broke up with a boyfriend or if you're sexually frustrated. No one would advise a guy to go stuff their face in a "tub of ice cream" if they're sad lol.
[Help] Safe Snacks/Foods
/u/stephxxi
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:08:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s86pc/safe_snacksfoods/
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Hopefully this post makes some sense! \^\^
So a friend and I are gonna hangout on Halloween to watch spooky movies and there's no way I can avoid food that night. I figure it'd be best if I bring along some safe snacks like low cal rice chips, skinny popcorn, etc or maybe just those single size portions of regular junk food so I don't binge like a madwoman.
What are some other things you all like to snack on that don't raise any suspicions from others?
I like to have pickles pretty often since they're so low cal and salty, but my friend would totally be weirded out if I brought a whole damn jar of pickles to our movie night lolol
My meal today has me feeling like I’m 10 again!
/u/Bellatrix2255
Created: Sun Oct 28 18:02:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s8570/my_meal_today_has_me_feeling_like_im_10_again/
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https://i.redd.it/tfjw0y3tm0v11.jpg
Hahahahahahaha kill me
/u/fishonthesun
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:59:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s84dj/hahahahahahaha_kill_me/
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Mods can you pls flair this as rant/rave I'm on mobile
So I was doing great today. Small breakfast. Smalldinner. And then ice cream, oreos, brownie, skittles, starbursts.
So I ate the non fruit flavored snacks in the dining hall
I had 2 fun size skittle packs and 4 starbursts altogether in my dorm room. That by itself is not very much even to me, and I have an eating disorder. But combined with everything else it was too much and I purged in the shower.
Right after that my roommate came back and saw the four (4!!!) Candy wrappers on the ground and was like "wow you ate all that candy!" And started laughing and I tried defending myself and she was like "no that's like, a lot" and it took everything in me not to be like "well I just threw it up in the shower along with all my dinner. Which included undigested, still whole, uncrewed cauliflower florets. How do you feel about laughing at me now?"
But I didnt
I left the room and am fighting the urge to buy cigs cause I'm trying to quit
can someone help me with ground beef/math?
/u/manfromanother-place [5’1.75 | CW:100 | GW: 95 | 18.4]
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:47:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s80ww/can_someone_help_me_with_ground_beefmath/
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ok so i bought a pound of 85% ground beef (960 cal) and cooked it. i measured the meat-juice that i strained out and it was 72g. does that mean the pound of meat is now only 72*9= 648, 960-648= 312 calories total? (i get this from 1 g of fat=9 cal) or is the "juice" more than just fat?
[Rant/Rave] I hate my body so much.
/u/emotional_low
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:36:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7xs7/i_hate_my_body_so_much/
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I just hate it.
My boobs are saggy and empty.
My belly button droops.
I have massive thighs which are soft and mushy.
My arms are fat as fuck and I have these bingo wing kinda things.
I have lose skin everywhere (granted it's not that much, but it's enough to make me hate myself.)
I'm pretty much just all fat and no muscle.
I just can't stand this. I'm so disgusting. Utterly repulsive.
Weight loss can't fix it though. In fact it's only made it worse.
I need to have surgery. Like RIGHT NOW. But I can't afford it. Because I'm a college student and I'm broke asf.
Food as punishment
/u/7M7j7KGMM8uuwNnW [63" | CW 145lb. | GW 120lb. | BMI 26 | -24lb. | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:35:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7xgk/food_as_punishment/
---
I need to tell someone. I need to lose 20 more lbs and I feel like shit for other factors in my life so I’m going to OMAD because fuck it.
I feel like shit, no food for me tonight. You don’t get food for 24 hours.
I can either restrict or romanticize suicide. Maybe both? I’m a multitasker.
I’m too busy to be a mom. I’m too overwhelmed to get anything done. Fuck. I really want to eat. No food, get used to OMAD.
I’m so sorry this makes no sense. I need to type this out. Keep scrolling I guess.
[Discussion] Anyone taken Vyvanse?
/u/GameofLoans16 [5'2.5'' F24 BED]
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:35:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7xgj/anyone_taken_vyvanse/
---
Does it help with binging?
Unfortunately there’s no generic I don’t think.
[Help] Any ex smokers? Having issues
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:28:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7vfn/any_ex_smokers_having_issues/
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Soooo 9days smoke free ( yey go me!!! ) Sticking to my usual routine ( about 1000cal daily ) but weight isn't shifting and Ive been gaining weight 😵 how is this possible???
[Discussion] Anyone else kind of miss that 2000s Tumblr anorexia internet culture?
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 93 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:25:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7uux/anyone_else_kind_of_miss_that_2000s_tumblr/
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Sorry, loaded title, I know. I'm talking about all those forums and blogs about being skinny, with stuff like "nothing tastes better than how skinny feels" or stuff like [this](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BfqRRcTCIAAMJU0.jpg)
It's really cringy and angsty and high school feeling but I miss it, to be honest
My mom told me that my stomach is noticeable through my wedding dress.
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:23:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7u5w/my_mom_told_me_that_my_stomach_is_noticeable/
---
And that I need to work on my arms. I have a year before the wedding and I’ll be damned if I don’t drop to 110 by then. If not lower.
The joy of relapse
/u/Birdie49
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:21:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7tqm/the_joy_of_relapse/
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I've been so bored and depressed and I needed something to make me feel alive. And that thing ended up being restricting again. If this relapse only lasts like two days it's going to be real embarrassing because I've already joined a new pro-ED Discord chat and started talking to the people there. Here we go again.
[Rant/Rave] I’m getting so tired of this
/u/temporarysecretary2
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:21:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7tq9/im_getting_so_tired_of_this/
---
I’ve been barely eating for the good part of the past 2-3 months. I try to not go over 1000 calories, but I also try not to go under 800. I do have a few handfuls of things, like cereal, throughout the day or a few chips here and there, and apparently this is all adding up to my maintenance calories or slightly over because the scale hasn’t gone down AT ALL in one year. That’s including walking 4.5 miles every day. I’m so sick of this, and I’m sick of myself. I’m sick of carrying around all this binge weight I put on last year. I just don’t understand what’s happening.
My birth control may also be causing me to bloat 10 lbs which I’m almost positive it has never done in the past, so apparently my body is changing and reacting to it differently. I have to weigh myself again on my placebo week of pills to be sure, but there’s no way I gained 10 lbs in one week.
This is complete bullshit. I’m so angry that I haven’t met any of my goals, and I’m going to spend my favorite time on year (October-December) feeling like a piece of shit and worried about gaining more weight. I’m also angry that next year is going to be the same fuckery I’ve dealt with this year. I just wanted to “shout” this into the ether, hoping it would somehow make me feel better. Thanks for reading if you stuck it out this long.
[Rant/Rave] tired of this crap
/u/fionalemon
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:16:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7s7l/tired_of_this_crap/
---
I’ve been struggling with disordered eating for.... a while. The worst it’s been (up until now) was when I was 17 and lost almost 20 lbs in a month (got down to my LW of 109 and I’m 5’8). Managed to “recover” (minus a few small relapses along the way, nothing long term) and gained all the weight back, and more. I was 140 for a while, up until this past month. I’ve had my worst relapse since I was 17. Granted I’ve only lost about 9 lbs in 3 weeks but still. My point is, I’m tired. Right now, there’s nothing I want more than to be able to eat a burrito and chips and salsa GUILT FREE. I haven’t been able to eat guilt free in years! Even when I wasn’t actively restricting or calorie counting, eating a meal like that still would make me feel like shit... I just don’t know what to do. My parents are beyond stressed because my little sister is having her own mental health issues, and I don’t want to burden them with it. They think I’ve outgrown my mental health issues and I just don’t want them to realize I’m back where I was when I was 15,16,17. I’m also incredibly stressed out because of college. Part of me wants to just say fuck it and take medical withdrawal and put myself in inpatient. I don’t know what to do, because if I recover and gain weight I’ll just relapse again, but if I recover and lose weight in the “healthy” way, I’ll probably inevitably relapse then too. Idk.
Anyways, for those who read it, if you could eat anything right now, what would you eat?
[Discussion] What to eat when breaking fast??
/u/yellowposy2
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:16:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7s35/what_to_eat_when_breaking_fast/
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I get mad nauseous when fasting, and it’s always hard for me to decide what to eat to break it. Half the time I end up making myself feel even worse, and just purge to get out the sick feeling. What do you guys eat??
[Discussion] Anyone interested in a B/P support group?
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 23.5” waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:08:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7pv4/anyone_interested_in_a_bp_support_group/
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I was wondering whether anyone would be interested in this??
I’ve really been struggling this month. I’ve been purging every single day this week, I normally only do it during the weekends (lol)
I feel like death every single day, it would be nice to have a space to talk with other people going through the same.
(I know about the discord server but I don’t really enjoy it because there’s too many people and too many groups/rules for conversations to go smoothly...)
Old magazine articles on Hollywood diets
/u/19900811sh
Created: Sun Oct 28 17:06:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7p96/old_magazine_articles_on_hollywood_diets/
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Whenever I watch old films, I'm struck by how thin the actresses are. So when searching for antique movie star diets I found a few [magazine articles](http://imgur.com/a/jaDg5Xe), and thought you guys might enjoy them.
Kinda sucks to be slightly above a so-called "health weight"
My stomach hates me
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:47:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7juz/my_stomach_hates_me/
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Me: Takes a bite of super cheesy, greasy pizza
My stomach: Starts cheering/growling with excitement because oh my god we might get the sustenance we need to survive
Me: \*spits pizza out into a bag\*
My stomach: EXcuSE ME WhAT THE FU C K
[Discussion] Is anyone else like... really specific about their food?
/u/tcs_hearts
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:40:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7i2h/is_anyone_else_like_really_specific_about_their/
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Hi everyone, today my girlfriend and I were discussing lunch. I actually felt hungry and threw out a suggestion. I wanted subway. I know exactly what I like and exactly what I wanted from there, down to specific amounts. If anything is off (wrong bread, wrong chips) I am liable to get upset and just not eat.
Anyway, my girlfriend says "could I just go to the store and get everything there. I probably couldn't get the exact bread, but everything else would be basically the same and way cheaper." I immediately get really sad for some reason and just go quiet. She figures out that won't work for me, but doesn't get why. She doesn't see how the two are any different. I struggle to explain and say something like "even if them tasting similar is a good bet, there is still some unknown there. I have a small amount of calories, and if what I spend them on isn't amazing and delicious, I would rather not eat."
I rationally understand they are basically the same and hate that I couldn't just get over myself and have her make it for much cheaper, but... I couldn't. I wanted what I wanted, exactly. Why am I like this? Can anyone relate?
Purging stops NOW
/u/sugafreedreams [18M / 181cm 🏳️🌈 Highest BMI: 30.3 / Current BMI: 16.9]
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7h25/purging_stops_now/
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I've been in a serious b/p cycle for only a week at this point, but my face already looks like I gained 10kg, golfballs are starting to grow under my chin and the skin from the roof of my mouth is peeling off from chemical burns. Everything constantly smells a bit like vomit, because some always gets in my nose and dries up, making the smell linger for hours.
It's absolutely disgusting how after almost every meal I sneak to the toilet to quietly vomit after stuffing my face with food that others could have enjoyed instead. It's so fucked up that I'm wasting money and harming my health to feed the toilet, while there are hundreds of millions of people in the world struggling to not starve to death. Everything about this goes against what I believe, but apparently the craving for being a hedonistic pig and that 10 seconds of pleasure is still stronger. I usually never talk this negatively about myself, but I HAVE to stop this now.
Nobody knows that I truly have an eating disorder because I hide everything so well and my current weight is relatively stable, but I feel like I'm letting my ex-bulimic mom down after promising her to never ever start purging. She was always checking on me even when I first started losing weight the healthy way to make sure I wasn't throwing up, and still is, but I've managed to come up with various ways to trick her. Now I fully realize why she insisted on me never going down this road.
I know that getting caught purging would be the final nail in the coffin, I would be forced to get some sort of treatment or therapy and gain weight. I also know that the only way to avoid that is to decrease the amount of disordered behaviors I partake in, I've already stopped counting calories and weighing myself daily. Taking a relaxed approach to not purging is never going to work, I have to make a decision to NEVER purge again and stick to it for good. I made it 3 and a half months the last time I swore to stop in July, this time I'm going to beat that record.
If you're reading this and have never purged, please, for the love of God, never ever attempt to do it. It never stops at one purge, it gets worse and worse, more and more addicting, until you're in too deep to get out of it yourself.
I never knew there was an actual term for the scabbed knuckles
/u/exgfbff [5'9 | CW 142 | SW 149 | GW 130]
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:30:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7f43/i_never_knew_there_was_an_actual_term_for_the/
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell%27s_sign
Just chewed and spit for the first time.
/u/xStingx
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:27:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7e8n/just_chewed_and_spit_for_the_first_time/
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Holy shit. It was a pop tart. I love pop tarts but they're half of my daily calorie limit. I just chewed and spit and it satisfied my pop tart craving completely. Could this be the answer to all my ED prayers?
[Other] I gained 8 lbs in like a fking week and my BF said he noticed
/u/satancookie22 [5’4”| CW118lbs | GW110lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:17:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7bkm/i_gained_8_lbs_in_like_a_fking_week_and_my_bf/
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Yeah so like 8 lbs is going to be noticeable on my frame and i do hate myself for it because I didn’t have to eat all that shit or skip my runs. but then I made it 100x worse for myself by asking my BF if he noticed it and we had just had sex maybe an hour before and he said yes, he’d noticed. And that’s all he said. I really wanted him to reassure me I still looked okay but he just didn’t.
He is often very vocal when people gain weight and is very harsh about it. Not good for me to be around I know.
I asked him if he thought I looked ok and he said “well I still had sex with you” like that means anything. I felt so gross after that. Then he told me to my gain anymore or I’d look like my coworker who has gained like 25lbs in the last year and is now technically overweight.
Later I asked him again (IM SO EMBARRASSING) if I looked okay and he told me he could tell I was desperate for attention and he didn’t like that.
I’m humiliated, full of self loathing, and you can sure bet I haven’t fucking eaten anything today and don’t plan to tomorrow. Gotta drop those 8 fucking pounds.
I feel real sad today you guys.
[Discussion] Anyone else have conflicting feelings about their weightloss?
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|119lbs|19.5|-17lbs|F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:06:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s789y/anyone_else_have_conflicting_feelings_about_their/
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Last November I had an anorexia relapsed after 11 years of recovery and ended up losing over 40 lbs in 4 months. My health was so shitty towards the end that I needed to leave college in the middle of the semester to go into treatment. Since then I've been through residential, php, iop, and outpatient. When I went back to school, however, I had to stop doing ed outpatient because I go to college 2 hours away. Shortly after the semester began, I relapsed and have lost 17 lbs in 1 month.
I love seeing the numbers go down on the scale and am in no way ready for recovery, but I'm also afraid of a repeat of last year. Leaving school again is non negotiable for me but I'm also gonna be taken off my parents health insurance in a few months (being in your mid 20s in the u.s is fun :/) so idk what options will be if I do choose to recover.
I just feel so trapped rn. Every time weigh myself and see that I've lost more weight I just feel a weird mix of joy and impending doom. I know I can't handle recovery right now but I also feel like I have a time limit. I hate this so much. Fuck.
[Rant/Rave] Why can’t people take no for an answer?
/u/wordsmithem
Created: Sun Oct 28 16:05:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s7837/why_cant_people_take_no_for_an_answer/
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If you offer me a piece of pie and ice cream and I say no thank you, don’t get mad at me. I already hit my calorie limit for the day and I don’t want to eat it. Don’t get on about me “watching my figure” and keep annoying me about it. Because guess what ! That makes me feel worse than I already do! Just let me eat what I want, and don’t make try to make me feel bad for not eating junk food. I don’t get why people have such a problem with others trying to lose weight. Would you rather have me eat the damn pie and purge it later, or not eat it at all? Just leave me be.
I'm slipping ... cant flipping eat
/u/EDpression_ [5'5'' |22.9|CW: 136 | LW: 130 |HW: 160|GW: 110| -6 lbs| mid20s F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:43:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s71sl/im_slipping_cant_flipping_eat/
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I actually TRIED eating 1400 today. Honestly I gave myself permission to eat at maintenance even, but i fuckinng couldn't.
I hate this. When I consciously TRY to eat more/maintenance/high restrict, my brain is all SCREEEEEEEECH DO NOT EAT AAAAHHH
- And then some other day I'll just binge while crying wanting it to stop.
whyyyy
I just ... I've been eating below 700 for a few days now and I WANT to eat slightly below maintenance/at maintenence to avoid the impulse to binge that is sure to show up soon...
But I just ... can't force nyself to eat
[Rant/Rave] I’m at a ‘healthy weight’ yet I keep having people telling me I’m fat. I’ve never had such strong urges to restrict than I do now.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:41:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s71dz/im_at_a_healthy_weight_yet_i_keep_having_people/
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Yesterday, my dad told me I’m ‘fattening up’ and my other family members said I look fat. I’ve never been so pissed off. They know I’m still recovering yet they decide to put me down. I never bother to say anything, my mom always tells them to shut up. I feel so fat when I’m next to somebody and my mind is just screaming at me for eating. I’m about to give up on recovery, fuck this.
[Help] I🙃can not🙃stop 🙃purging
/u/coldpizzainthetrash
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:34:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6z6y/ican_notstop_purging/
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I always thought I had a strong stomach up until about a few weeks ago i binged. Hardcore. It lasted for a week and up until then if I binged I'd just lax or restrict to make up for it the next day. But I couldn't. One night I got sick of it and tried it.
Big mistake. HUGE mistake. It worked i vomitted. The pure joy followed by seeing the disgusting food out my body made me sick later on. But right then and there it felt amazing. I told my friend later on that night( he has experiences with eds) and he told me not to do it again. That it would only become a safety net. That any time i messed up i would only go back to it and he was worried about me. But i dismissed it all and said it was a one time thing.
I lied. It has been like this everytime i mess up or go over my caloric limit. I always know i can get it back up. I know these two fingers will save the day. the snot vomit and the hot salty tears that drip drop into the toilet bowl with the forced throw up paints a disgusting abstract.
I can't stop this i don't know what to do. I will never get to my gw or get out of tgis stupid fucking binge cycle. I am so tired of all of this. My throat still burns from the recent face fucking i gave myself.
I am so utterly disgusting and alone.
How do I stop eating all this crap
/u/PoorL1feChoices
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:33:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6yvd/how_do_i_stop_eating_all_this_crap/
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My life is not going very well.
Normally, I'm at least moderately fastidious about my diet. Now I'm a goddamn vacuum cleaner.
My health is not great. I need to *lose* weight, not gain it. How do I get control of myself again?
It's like my brain is on autopilot.
I feel like my body is trying to save itself and it's making me mad
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:26:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6wrg/i_feel_like_my_body_is_trying_to_save_itself_and/
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I'm not sure if that's the right way to explain it but I feel like everytime I get below 90lbs, my mind tries to make me eat until I hit about 95lbs. Not even binge eat, just eat normally. Normal meals, normal foods, sometimes more than 'normal' but not quite binge level. Maybe it's just me going into a binge cycle and trying to find an excuse or something but it feels different. It feels like my self-control is trying to be logical about things, my weight and health and whatnot rather than just being nonexistent and it's making me mad. I'm trying to be skinny then die here? Not be healthy and alive? I'm doing my best to keep my self-control in check and calories down but it's more of a battle than it normally is.
Guess who just threw out there entire fridge
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 132| GW 100| -11| F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:21:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6vhw/guess_who_just_threw_out_there_entire_fridge/
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So ive been stuck in a never ending binge cycle this past week and its caused me a lot of distress. I ended up giving all of the food in the freezer to a friend and throwing the rest away. You cant binge with just milk and gross cheese in the fridge......right?
[Rant/Rave] I keep subtly asking for help and then not pushing for it because as much as I’m scared of what can happen to me, I’m more scared of staying fat.
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6vg5/i_keep_subtly_asking_for_help_and_then_not/
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Like I’ve brought up to 2 different friends that I needed to talk about something and let them talk about their own shit first so they forgot that I needed to talk too.
The fact that I even asked to talk with the intention of talking about my disordered eating is a Big Deal because I hate talking about it out loud and I don’t actually believe I have one and I feel like a fake and attention seeker.
So on one hand, I’m so disappointed they forgot to ask me and didn’t remember that I specifically sought their help, but on the other hand I’m so relieved because I don’t need to talk about it and I can keep fasting/restricting.
I’m just so scared of the place I’m in right now. Not because I’m necessarily depressed or whatever, but because I’ve been somewhat more successful. I’ve been able to fast 24 hours so easily. I’m moving towards the 30-40 hour marks with ease. I say no to food without issue, I refilled an adderall prescription solely so I can use it to fast/restrict and still have energy, my binges have gotten smaller (relatively) and I’m just. Nervous.
I don’t want to lose parts of the body I have now. I don’t want to fuck with my heart and health and I definitely don’t want to still be dealing with this when I start seriously dating/get married/have kids or whatever.
And yet, I could’ve broken my fast today, but I didn’t want to. I COULDVE reminded my friends I needed to talk, but I didn’t want to.
I both want to get better and I want to stay disordered. I need help but I don’t want to have to ask. I want people to care about me enough that they notice I haven’t eaten once all day but I guess I have to get skinny first.
Hairfall during recovery?? Please help!
/u/funnyhappygirl123
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:10:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6s0p/hairfall_during_recovery_please_help/
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So I restricted heavily for 3-4 months, and have recently begun recovery. I've been eating substantially more for the last 2 weeks - and since about a week ago, have been having MASSIVE amounts of hairfall. As in, multiple clumps of hair are falling out every time I shower (which never happened while I was restricting!). Can someone please tell me what's going on?? How does this even make sense? I always thought that eating more would reduce the hairfall I was having previously...
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally binged and now it's time for panic attacks.
/u/billionsofatoms [5'4"|Walrus|LW: 95lb|GW: 88lb|F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:09:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6rr7/accidentally_binged_and_now_its_time_for_panic/
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So yesterday I ate almost 5000 calories, 4800ish of those in the evening only. And today I didn't fast nor restrict either, ate for MAINTENANCE of all things. I'll go swimming tomorrow to try to undo at least a tiny bit of those calories. And I'll be maybe 4 days of restriction behind (due to my job and swimming, I high restrict only, so it takes centuries to drop a gram - of course I'm exaggerating but I'd like to restrict more and lose faster). But now, I cannot stop crying and having breakdowns over how much of a landwhale I am. I just don't understand how I can eat so much in such short time and just not stop even when I am full, even when I am aware I don't wanna eat, it's almost a compulsive action. I used to high restrict without any issues ever. Now I binge eat 2 days a week, restrict the other 5. I cannot lose weight anymore. I'm meant to be fat and roll around in my jelly and misery forever.
​
TL;DR - Basically hi guys, how was your day?
[Rant/Rave] Rant- Ensure/ Calorie drinks
/u/KittyGemma [Height 5'3| Gender Female]
Created: Sun Oct 28 15:03:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6q19/rant_ensure_calorie_drinks/
---
Ensure is very common for those who are recovering/in hospital or by angry af parents who shove it down your throat when you refuse to eat dinner.
Since I can not digest dairy, I could not have ensure.
It took 2 months until they could find me an alternative.
Calogen
I hate this so much. To the point where I was in tears and close to throwing up every time I had it.
I had to mix it with dairy free milk and heat it up just to make it acceptable.
The problem is that the ingredients. The first ingredients was oil. This made me cringe a lot. I know that it is okay to use oil from time to time but it looked like I was drinking oil, dairy free milk and the vitamins that it said to have.
I have also heard stories from others of how they hated the taste of ensure.
I really wish that instead, they let us make our own nut butter/fruit smoothie drinks instead. If I found out about this months ago, recovery would be a lot easier for me. I would even take a multi vitamin with my drink if they are worried about not getting enough nutrients.
[Rant/Rave] Thanks for the ice cream
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | CW: 128lbs | BMI: 19.46 | WL: 27lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:59:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6otv/thanks_for_the_ice_cream/
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I’ve been super stressed all weekend over an essay I’m writing for psychology. Yesterday I totally overate because I had to go to pizza hut with my family and then a Halloween party at night, but today my parents were out so I was excited to be able to restrict freely and work towards undoing the damage. Well my sister went out to Tesco tonight and because she saw I was so stressed about the essay she bought me a massive tub of Häagen-Dazs in a flavour that no one in my family likes except for me “to cheer me up”. Now I’m infinitely more stressed because I’m expected to eat all 10 billion calories of this thing as well as finish this assignment. Fuck this ED I can’t even be happy when someone buys me ice cream anymore.
[Discussion] Does anyone ever actually get thin from bulimia?
/u/keep_it_poppin
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:52:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6mon/does_anyone_ever_actually_get_thin_from_bulimia/
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Someone give me hope. I hate this disorder but hopefully it’s not in vain
[Rant/Rave] Of course I’ve gained.
/u/lightswornmomma [5’7 | 125.4lbs | 19.6 | 60lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:46:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6l76/of_course_ive_gained/
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I stopped purging 22 days ago and I’ve gained 7lbs. I’m so annoyed. I’m use to fast/eat normal amount/purge/repeat. And now it’s just fast/eat normal amount/repeat and it’s fucking my brain up.
I don't even know what normal eating looks like
/u/redcapris
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:44:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6knc/i_dont_even_know_what_normal_eating_looks_like/
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I can't tell if this is a distortion or not but I feel like I've never eaten "normally" in my entire life. I've always been obsessed with food, even as a little kid. Obsessed with eating as much as possible or as little as possible or as healthy as possible... you get the idea. I don't know what's wrong with me. I would almost rather be super sick and restricting than eating "normally" because to me normal eating means overeating and blowing tons of money on food and feeling guilty. But it's not really binging either because binging means a loss of control and when I do that I know exactly what I'm doing. Sometimes I feel like nothing will ever ever make me happier than the feeling I get when I fast for a day or two and then let myself eat whatever I want. It's sick. I wish I never had to think about food ever again.
[Rant/Rave] (RANT) Do any of y’all purge then eat a ways afterward?!
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:118 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:37:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6ioq/rant_do_any_of_yall_purge_then_eat_a_ways/
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I don’t know wtf my deal is but the past few months after I purge, I’ll just shovel food in my mouth anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour after.
I used to purge, rinse my mouth with water, drink a half cup of pedialyte, take my vitamins (so they’re not purged), then brush my teeth like an hour afterward.
Now, I purge, rinse, eat like I’m dying, then regret that I ate more. Literally right afterwards. Does anyone else do this?:/ I think i struggle with binge eating you guys :(
I went from 87-90 to 121.6 (currently) in a year and it’s awful. I used to purge everything I ate every day to stay thin now I’m chunky af and eat constantly. I even snack after I eat MEALS! Any words of advice, sympathy, or encouragement from you guys?):
[Help] How do I stop purging
/u/elle_pitch [5’8 | CW: 126? | 18.6 | HW: 150 | 22f]
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:35:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6hvl/how_do_i_stop_purging/
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Someone. Anyone please help me. I purge the smallest amount of food sometimes and it’s ruining my stomach and throat and teeth. I need to stop. It’s getting ridiculous. It isn’t even all food either. I just purge random foods and at random times. How do I stop this?
[Other] does anyone else eat ridiculously fast?
/u/bruise_violet
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:32:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6gx7/does_anyone_else_eat_ridiculously_fast/
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a few years ago when my eating habits started getting worse, i noticed that i started finishing my food really quickly. i didn't really do it as a kid, so i always feel really greedy when i do it.
usually, i finish a meal WAY before everyone else does. i can't stop finishing everything right away - its like i want the food to be gone or something. does anyone else do this?
Thanks mom.
/u/PiggySmiggyGiggy
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:18:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6cye/thanks_mom/
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I had a binge yesterday, now I regret it and asked if I could go to the gym. My mom said:
"I'm glad your going to the gym a lot, but your eating kinda cancels it out."
Okay, thats the push I needed. This binge cycle is stopping now, I'm doing a strict 500 calories per day. Thanks mom ❤
Btw, Ik she's completely right. And I'm glad I heard it from someone elses mouth. Myself just saying it isn't enough. Weird, but whatever.
Has this happened to anyone else?
/u/Christabel7374
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:15:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s6c2q/has_this_happened_to_anyone_else/
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I recently went to an event. Was having fun for once and decided to get a shirt I liked. So I tell the guy at the stand I would like a women's size small. He looks at me and asks, "are you sure?", And any boyfriend next to me asks as well. I tell them both yes. The sales guy points to another girl and tells me this is a women's small. The girl of course is like, goals. Tiny. Thin. Perfect. After being asked a third time I'm still set on a small. I know I'm not able to fit it. I want this as a goal.
This whole interaction just made me feel like shit. I feel huge. I feel like fasting untill this small fits like it does her.
By the way, I'm a long time lurker here. I finally made a separate account so I can feel included in this amazing community. I'm excited to meet you all.
Off setting hunger
/u/soapparently
Created: Sun Oct 28 14:00:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s67bb/off_setting_hunger/
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I made the largest mistake and ate a banana for breakfast which has over 100 calories. My lunch usually has over 600 calories and I ate that because I was hungry even though I told myself I would eat half for lunch and half for dinner. I can't figure out how to off set the hunger for dinner especially since I'm going to the gym around 6 to 7pm. I chew a bunch of gum but that only works extremely momentarily. Are there any extremely low calorie snacks or no calorie ways to off set hunger?
[Rant/Rave] DAE live with someone who often joke about your weight ?
/u/thinfritatas
Created: Sun Oct 28 13:51:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s64ua/dae_live_with_someone_who_often_joke_about_your/
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My father often joke with my weight and since I started living with him I can't support it anymore.
He often makes his jokes during dinner, that's my only meal of the day so it's really annoying.
For exemple ten minutes ago I told him that living in a 9m2 apartment would be enough for me, to what he responded "but you're taking 6m2 with your body, you won't be able to move"
It could have been very funny if : I didn't told him to stop his jokes a hundred times, I wasn't hating myself, he wasn't more fat than me, my bmi wasn't in the lower end of healthy
It's definitely not the worse one and I can see a little bit of humor in this one but yeah it's mostly annoying and hurtful.
DAE in the same situation ? Or have a friend who often makes jokes like these ?
Binged last night, woke up this AM at my lowest weight in over a year???
/u/ohcrapitsmyface
Created: Sun Oct 28 13:38:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s60mf/binged_last_night_woke_up_this_am_at_my_lowest/
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I do not understand. I had been trying to lose weight the “healthy way” (insert eye roll) via exercising, eating about 1400 cal a day, drinking tons of water, etc. I lost like .2 pounds in a month. So annoyed. I binged last night - had 6 cookies, 7 slices of pizza, gummy bears, a giant muffin... woke up this morning and weighed myself to see the damage, and I weighed 4 pounds less than I did last Sunday. What the hell! I mean, I’m glad to see the number on the scale. But I don’t understand.
[Rant/Rave] Enough with this fried pub-fare nonsense, you’re hurting my social life and my soul
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 13:22:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5vq8/enough_with_this_fried_pubfare_nonsense_youre/
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Someone please start a pro-ed bar that only serves low-cal booze, quest bars, celery sticks with low-fat dressing, halo top sundaes topped with lite reddi whip, and other safe food.
[Discussion] Taking a million photos of yourself...feeling vain af
/u/cattivity
Created: Sun Oct 28 13:09:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5s4f/taking_a_million_photos_of_yourselffeeling_vain_af/
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Sometimes I spend hours taking photos of my body at different angles either to trigger myself or trying desperately to find one thing I like about myself physically.
Why do I have to care so fucking much what my body looks like? (((: I could be putting my energy into something far more productive and yet.... here I am.
[Rant/Rave] Liquid food is the best.
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Sun Oct 28 12:46:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5l1t/liquid_food_is_the_best/
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I've only bought my first blender yesterday and am now seriously asking myself how on earth I've survived without one this long.
It's such a game changer! I'll just throw in some vegetables or fruit, some psyllium, some spices and unsweetened almond milk and Bob's your uncle! The thing is it feels like I'm not really eating anything at all, yet at the same time it fills me like crazy. No solid food ever fills me like this. This is mind blowing! 800kcal today and not feeling hungry at. All. Not even a little bit.
Fitness while recovering?
/u/li_hu_sh [5'3 | UGW 105 | CW y i k e s]
Created: Sun Oct 28 12:46:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5kz9/fitness_while_recovering/
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Does anyone have any fitness/workouts they recommend for a recovering binge eater? In the past, when I’ve worked out (or tried to) I bulked up really fast (I have no idea how, but I thinks it’s becuase I’m an endomorph?) and this terrified me, and I relapsed again.
This time around, I’m looking for ways to recover, improve my cardiovascular health without bulking up or getting too big (at least in the beginning)
[Goal] IM HAPPY FOR ONCE IN THIS TRAGIC LIFE
/u/subirban
Created: Sun Oct 28 12:44:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5kn3/im_happy_for_once_in_this_tragic_life/
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Omg guys so i was trying on my clothes today bc I hit one of my goal weights (still looots to go but this was the weight I was freshman year of highschool). And I tried on this super cute button down crop top that I've been saving for when I get skinny and IT FITS.
I was in disbelief because everytime I looked in the mirror, the dysphoria hits hard and I feel like I still look as fat as my highest weight. But when I paired this top with a tight black skirt it looked actually good?!?! like when did this happen???
This is giving me soo much motivation to restrict even harder now because my next goal weight is so close.
Anyway, I'm also curious as to what kind of signs you guys look for when losing to see the differences and if they help with motivation! I'm on a fasting high rn lol
Shawn Coss (an artist) did anorexia as part of his Inktober Mental Health series!
/u/-PM-ME-NICE-THINGS- [5"2 | CW: 51kg | BMI: 20.6 | Ortho]
Created: Sun Oct 28 12:40:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5jfm/shawn_coss_an_artist_did_anorexia_as_part_of_his/
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I know it seems weird to be so thrilled about this, but the way he included a certain statement made me so happy!
*'You cannot tell if a person is struggling with anorexia by looking at them. A person does not need to be emaciated or underweight to be struggling. Studies have found that larger-bodied individuals can also have anorexia, although they may be less likely to be diagnosed due to cultural prejudice against fat and obesity.'*
[Here's a link to the picture and post!](https://www.facebook.com/ShawnCossArtist/photos/a.541296702555079/2490711457613584/?type=3&theater)
[Discussion] How do you like treating yourself without food? I always paint my nails and make a hot cup of tea.
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 12:39:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5ixj/how_do_you_like_treating_yourself_without_food_i/
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https://i.redd.it/fauz60y31zu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Mental hunger is the WORST
/u/Ityma
Created: Sun Oct 28 12:23:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5e8r/mental_hunger_is_the_worst/
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I've gotten to the point where I can ignore physical hunger pretty easily. Hunger pains and a grumbling stomach don't bother me. Mental hunger is where I fail. As soon as I start thinking about food, I suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to eat, even if I don't feel physically hungry. I won't stop thinking about food until I've eaten pretty much everything I can get my hands on. It comes out of nowhere, at anytime of day, no matter what I'm doing and it usually wins the battle happening inside my head. It's so annoying and disheartening. I try my best to just ignore it but I can't and I have no idea why.
how is everyone doing? made a lil questionnaire for you
/u/littlestbaby [:(]
Created: Sun Oct 28 12:20:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s5d3q/how_is_everyone_doing_made_a_lil_questionnaire/
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i'm laying down in bed and i wanna talk to people who understand the struggle. how are you guys today? i've thought of a few questions that i'd like to ask you guys
1. what emotion are you feeling right now
2. who makes you heart beat faster (doesn't have to be a romantic interest) and why
3. imagine you've reached your gw. describe your day (include events and feelings)
4. what was your last dream about?
5. perfect foods
i'm thinking about losing weight, again, i've gained, again, i want to fast, again. nothing seems to help, i don't seem to help myself and I'm in a rut and i need to get myself out of it somehow, but how?... I'm not sure. i hope you guys answer these questions and we could maybe have a nice little discussion.
as for me...
1. sadness
2. the man who lives far away, he's kind of like a father figure, he helped me a lot in life and i want to see him again
3. i wake up curious and happy and i have lovely dreams and I'm inspired with my work and my life seems to have a purpose. i feel turned on and have sex and have fun and my body doesn't hold me back, instead it elevates me
4. my friend kissing me on bed and i thought that i looked fat from the angle she was looking a t me at
5. i love drinks! tea, coke zero, cherry coke, black coffee, coffee with soy milk, pickles, avocado
Drunk alone and need you guys
/u/standingbymountains
Created: Sun Oct 28 11:47:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s53kd/drunk_alone_and_need_you_guys/
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Title says it all.
I’m having a hell of a year in the worst way possible. Gained 20 lbs, went through an insane amount of family trauma, have had a fucking terrible time managing my money, almost dropped out of school, and I just hit a breaking point today.
I planned on fasting but broke as per usual and ate a brownie. Which led to be fucking sobbing because my brain just feels so, fucked? I hate eating, because it’s really the only thing I have. I just get anxious about what the hell to allot my calories to, how I’m going to stay under them, etc.
the pressure is just insane.
So yeah, I drank a lot of whiskey and Diet Coke and now I’m alone in my bathtub feeling really emotional and sad at like, 2 p.m. this post is a mess but I just want to feel less alone right now. Idk
You'll never look as skinny as her
/u/Teatris
Created: Sun Oct 28 11:44:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s52pw/youll_never_look_as_skinny_as_her/
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So I'm at my aunt's house today. My relatives over here are overweight (and two are obese) so of course our perception of thin and fat is very different. My aunt herself is overweight and in a wheelchair (and has other unrelated illnesses). She finds females of a high-end healthy bmi to be prettier (in a platonic way) while I am actually secretly attracted to mostly petite girls.
So we talked about what my ideal weight would be. She did the math and said that my ideal weight would be 63 kg but went on to say that I would look too skinny at that weight. So I just uncomfortably laughed and said "that's only like 5 kg less than my current weight." She stared at me and replied "oh, I thought you had much more than that but that may just be your sweater." Big 'fuck you' to my self-esteem.
We talked a bit about my cousin, J. She is around 164 cm tall and weighs around 55 kg. Since my perception of what is skinny has changed, she now doesn't look skinny enough for me. She's always been the skinnier one out of us who got all the attention so it's now my goal to be skinnier than her (I'm taller than her so that would make me skinnier).
Then she went on to say "Yeah you could lose 20 kg and you still wouldn't look like J." I tried to save myself with "yeah, she's much smaller and different-" but just continued with "she's got smaller shoulders and is overall more dainty and petite. You've got bigger, heavier bones!" This makes me wanna lose much more weight than before, just to show here who can look skinny!
Can’t handle “recovery” anymore
/u/IsThisSplenda
Created: Sun Oct 28 11:41:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s51sy/cant_handle_recovery_anymore/
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Basically what the title says. I’ve been trying for two years and have put on 20lbs. I have a “healthy” bmi and everyone says I look fantastic but. I. Feel. So. Fat. I look in the mirror and all I see is the cellulite on my thighs and the bulge of my stomach. Even my face looks “much healthier” as my mom puts it and I just can’t handle it anymore. I’m tired of trying so hard all the time to make sure I’m “taking proper care of my body” only to constantly be fighting the feelings of guilt and regret. I can’t deal with life, I miss feeling hazy from restriction. I hate not feeling hungry. I HATE my new body and I miss the confidence I got from achieving something. I’m absolutely drained from fighting myself Every. Single. Day.
So I’m giving up on recovery. I’m letting my ED back out of the cage. I need to feel in control of my life again.
Sorry for the rant, I know this isn’t exactly a quality post but no one in my life (not even my fiancé) really knows about my ED and I needed to tell someone that I’m not doing okay. I just want to let this illness consume me whole until I’m just a soul. Haha I made a rhyme, look at me go.😅 Anyways I hope you’re all having a better night/day than I am. <3 Stay safe my friends and may mr. skeltal bless your soul with 20 updoots and much calcium.
[Rant/Rave] Nobody in my life gives a crap about how I feel
/u/justadumbkid1 [5’5|145.2 lbs|40 lbs lost|23.7 BMI|F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 11:22:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4w62/nobody_in_my_life_gives_a_crap_about_how_i_feel/
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All the more reason to restrict lol. Its the only thing that makes me feel better
Funny that I’ve got back into it so fast
/u/helpmytonguehurts [5”6 |CW 156|GW1 130|LW 89| -6| 👩🏼]
Created: Sun Oct 28 11:19:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4v9k/funny_that_ive_got_back_into_it_so_fast/
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Went out yesterday and drank a bit too much gin and diet tonic and vomited once home. First thought when I woke up this morning? “Well you purged quite a lot of your liquid calories then you should do that more often”
However woke up with a 4lb loss this week so I must be doing it right
[Help] What supplements should I be taking?
/u/nymphlotus
Created: Sun Oct 28 11:14:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4tun/what_supplements_should_i_be_taking/
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I want to buy some generic bronkaid but I don't want to buy that alone because oh god what if they know? What's something else useful I could buy and not look like a fucking weirdo in GNC?
I’m so fucking annoyed with this life
/u/chpbnvic [5'4" | CW 173.0 lbs | GW 115 | 25F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 11:12:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4t62/im_so_fucking_annoyed_with_this_life/
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It’s been years of this crap. More recently in the last two years I’ve had the biggest issue with binging. Restriction to binging over and over. Lose 10, gain 15. It’s led me to being almost obese. I’m so sick of it. This is the last time I’m doing this. I’m sick of going up and down through the same numbers again and again. This is my last chance. If I don’t succeed this time I’ll just have to be a fat fuck forever I guess. This is it and there’s no going back.
Wedding dress shopping
/u/wayward_paths
Created: Sun Oct 28 10:54:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4nuk/wedding_dress_shopping/
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I have until January to get to my goal weight. I am 135 right now and I want to reach in the 110s by January. I think as long as I restrict myself I will be able to do it. My mom keeps bringing up that I need to reach my goal weight first which is sending my thoughts into overdrive. Food is my enemy. I cannot eat or over drink my calories. So I am going to drink water when I am hungry and eat very little. As long as I stay under 900 I will be able to reach my goal by December. Wish me luck.
[Discussion] Dreaming about eating?
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_
Created: Sun Oct 28 10:50:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4mkp/dreaming_about_eating/
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So last night before I went to bed I resisted my usual snacking for once...so instead I got to dream about eating candy instead.... wtf?
What do you get at Starbucks?
/u/its_scorpio_season [5'4" | 156.0 | 26.8 | -1 | 23F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 10:44:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4ktz/what_do_you_get_at_starbucks/
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I have a Starbucks truly right next to my work, so I'm there all the time, especially for caffeine.
Asking what people get because I don't like their regular coffee (though if that's what you get, I still want to know!)
What I get currently is a shot or two of espresso (5 cals per shot) and iced green or white tea (which, according to the internet, is 0 cals if you get it unsweetened). I then do 0 cal sweetener.
I like this system, bc an iced tea will last me a longg time (coffee does too, but eventually it gets cold--I don't mind lukewarm iced tea)
And I still have the espresso to get my coffee and instant caf. fix. I loveeee the smell, especially in the fall.
These things also are not as expensive as their specialty drinks.
I'll do their bento boxes sometimes, even though they're overpriced. They're cute and pretty tasty. I don't really know of any low cal food offerings at Starbucks, though.
[Other] Whenever I feel a binge, I draw my binge foods. It really helps curb the temptation.
/u/Sinister-Toaster
Created: Sun Oct 28 10:32:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4hbl/whenever_i_feel_a_binge_i_draw_my_binge_foods_it/
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https://i.redd.it/hinc7xv8eyu11.png
[Intro] Going back worse than before and I have no idea what to do.
/u/dooniedorko
Created: Sun Oct 28 10:29:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4gau/going_back_worse_than_before_and_i_have_no_idea/
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I didn’t know where else to post this. I’ve been struggling off and on with a horrendous eating disorder (Anorexia Purge Type) for the past eleven years. I was getting better, most just binged and purged and wasn’t restricting as much as I used to, and even started to go to therapy and get a bit better (eating in front of people, actually eating, not purging or binging, not keeping track of weight or calories and deleting anything I’d use as a tool to help spiral me.)
Recently- the last few months or so, a few close people in my life began to get into the ED scene, and honestly the graphic accounts of it on top of other stresses and not going to therapy anymore, made me spiral again. This time even worse than before. I’ve been fasting, and when I do eat, it’s not much and I throw it up. I even throw up liquids. I’m in pain constantly, my hair is falling out, my teeth hurt, and no one trusts me anymore with food, most are worried. And I’ll be honest- I feel great having control over something again.
I guess I just need advice or positive words or something. Thanks.
I finally got laid!
/u/SpaceWhale88 [5'3 | CW 20lbs overweight | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 10:12:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s4b92/i_finally_got_laid/
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Met someone at a Halloween party and went home with him. He was super buff and cute and it was such a confidence boost. I didnt feel bad about my body at all. I was outside this party smoking with him and someone called out "oh hey, he's out here with that hot blonde girl." Apparently I was the hot blonde girl!
I may or may not see him again but either way I'm fine with it.
My manager noticed my weight loss.
/u/wellismel
Created: Sun Oct 28 10:01:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s47wj/my_manager_noticed_my_weight_loss/
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Yesterday at work, my manager asked my supervisor if I was ok. Why? “She’s looking a bit thin”
Keep em coming baby I thrive on this shit.
[Rant/Rave] Rant for a sec
/u/GameofLoans16 [5'2.5'' F24 BED]
Created: Sun Oct 28 09:37:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s414d/rant_for_a_sec/
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I went to a party last night and I met a girl who was so tiny!
We were about the same height, short, and she looked about 100 lbs. I am NOT 100 lbs and have not been 100 lbs since elementary school probably, even though I was always short for my age.
I am short and fat. I’m not attractive or “small.” I’m trying to eat less and be better about being healthy, but I think my metabolism is shot and I also have issues with my thyroid and hormones and stuff. I’ve never been “small.” I also have no control when it comes to binges and just eating everything in sight, especially when I’m stressed. Idk how people LOSE weight when they’re stressed. I head for the kitchen.
[Rant/Rave] Can't stop obsessing
/u/rosemarysunshine
Created: Sun Oct 28 09:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s3xs7/cant_stop_obsessing/
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It's all I think about, it is taking over every thought. I developed an ED while I decided to lose weight during a very stressful situaton. It was literally just bad timing on my part. If I just held off losing weight until I was healed from what was affecting me... I wouldn't have found SO MUCH FUCKING COMFORT in the ED. I could be doing this in a healthy way, I would be content with losing a pound a week.
However, here we are. It's all I can think about. It soothes my mind, and is hurting my body. So fucked up, and I feel it getting worse, and I can't stop it.
Very sad and satisfied at the same time. So fucked up.
I'm sick of this cycle [tw: sexual assault, suicide mention]
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | went to treatment | send help | 24F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 09:15:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s3v9r/im_sick_of_this_cycle_tw_sexual_assault_suicide/
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Hey, it's me again! I've been on this sub since April 2016 and since then I've been to treatment for my ED TWICE.
I went to treatment again in April of this year. It wasn't by choice like the first time - this time my parents threatened to cut me off financially if I didn't go. I was there until July. I gained weight there and I was also sexually assaulted by a nurse at the facility. So I left treatment with more trauma, with more weight, and with a huge purging problem (I was originally there for restricting).
I went from a size 4 to a size 8 in the span of 6 months and I can't stop purging. I don't binge nor do I restrict but whatever I do eat I purge (depending on what I've eaten). My urges to restrict are through the roof and I know I'm going to start again soon, which will probably cause me to end up in treatment again early next year.
I've missed this community a lot. I had a suicide attempt in September which prompted my parents to move me back home, half way across the country. I'm miserable where I live. I have no friends, I don't know anyone. I'm so alone and so upset. All I can think about is purging or starving. I can't see myself ever getting out of this cycle of being okay, relapsing, going to treatment, gaining weight, being okay, relapsing, going to treatment, etc.
There was a time in my life where I was able to restrict but stop when I felt like enough was enough. But the last time I was at that point was 4 years ago and no matter what I do, I can't seem to stop once I've started unless it's because things have gone too far and I'm literally dying/others are worried about me.
Part of me wants to get better because I hate this cycle but part of me just wants to keep purging and restricting in hopes that one day I'll "grow out of it" or I can get back to that point where I can stop on command.
There's really no point to this post. I just needed to vent. I love you all dearly.
[Goal] no longer a whale, just a pig
/u/A-mistake
Created: Sun Oct 28 09:07:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s3syx/no_longer_a_whale_just_a_pig/
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[removed]
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like a fake being an adult with an ED?
/u/cattivity
Created: Sun Oct 28 08:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s3puv/anyone_else_feel_like_a_fake_being_an_adult_with/
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I'm almost 20 and my ED is just now getting bad. I have always had problems over-eating and would purge here and there (not as a regular thing only when I felt really guilty about eating too much) but now my obsession has really hit it's peak and I feel like nobody will take it seriously because I'm not 16, I'm an adult, I should know better, I should just be able to pick myself up and function normally yadayadayada...
Anyone else feel similarly ? I just feel like such a faker because my ED never really developed until now. Idk.
[Discussion] Seaweed and metabolism
/u/sayyourprayersbitch [5'5 | CW 105 | 17.4 | F ]
Created: Sun Oct 28 08:27:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s3ip0/seaweed_and_metabolism/
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Hello friends
I have recently started eating a shit ton of those seaweed snacks. They are so salty and crunchy and delicious and like chips but I don’t want to kill myself after eating them! Crazy!
Anyway, I read something about the high iodine levels in seaweed and how that could actually jumpstart your thyroid gland and therefore, metabolism.
No joke, I’ve already noticed a difference. I have been RAVENOUS the past two days and I’ve managed not to binge and my tummy flab is disappearing. My heart rate is all over the place and I’m having crazy palpitations but I’m so excited about the loss that I’m not worried about it.
Has anyone else experienced this? Or knows if I’m literally gonna die tomorrow?
Thanks friends.
[Rant/Rave] I have been eating cucumbers, tomatoes, and hard boiled egg for lunch. I feel self conscious when I eat in front of them.. Just wanna hide in my cubicle and have my food without worrying about them judging what i eat...
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Sun Oct 28 08:22:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s3hk0/i_have_been_eating_cucumbers_tomatoes_and_hard/
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Conflicted Thoughts
/u/ConflictedLoner [Height:5’4 | CW:108| BMI:18.49|Gender:Male]
Created: Sun Oct 28 07:44:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s38lu/conflicted_thoughts/
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Why am I like this? One moment I’m happy with my current weight and want to maintain it. Then I see this guy who was so skinnier than me. His legs looked like sticks and that makes me hate myself and how far I’ve gotten.
Realistically I know 18.5 is just on the edge of healthy but seeing him makes me want to starve myself to below 90 again. Argh
[Rant/Rave] Rant about binging tw
/u/pmmeured
Created: Sun Oct 28 07:29:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s34zx/rant_about_binging_tw/
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I’m just so angry because last night I binged again and I binged every day last week and last night was supposed to be a nice time with my SO at a party but I couldn’t stop eating oreos and snacks and candy. We ended up leaving early because my allergies but I can’t help but feel like absolute trash because every single day for the last week I’ve binged. I don’t have another therapy appointment until late next week because I go to the counseling center on my university’s campus and they fill up near finals time and it sucks because the appointments are only a half hour. I still don’t have the balls to tell my therapist that I want to lose weight to look pretty, I want to be pretty, but I can’t stop eating. I tell her its for health but that’s like 1% of my feelings.
So now what’s probably going to happen today is I’m going to tell myself I’ll fast but then at 9pm I’ll tell myself that it’s bad to fast after a binge and should just eat 1200 like I’ve been trying to because it just wont work or whatever because it’s something I read on 1200 is plenty a while ago. And then I’ll end up binging again so close to the finish line.
It sucks even more because I’m still overweight and I’m fairly open about my BED to people, I just don’t want it to be so fucking taboo that I can’t talk about my mental health around other people. I’m also a chronic over-sharer so I guess there’s that... but I don’t even think people believe me whenever I mention it because I’m so pudgy and they just see me drink 2 cups of boba tea and 2 things from panda express and think I’m fat when on the inside I’m hardly even present, and just watching myself eat and eat and eat and eat and feel like I want to throw up soooo bad because I’ve ate to the point of feeling sick but I keep eating because food is the most comforting thing I have
Additionally I feel terrible because in middle school there was a girl who had an ED who I was good friends with until we weren’t because she was just so draining, and now here I am years later just as disordered as her and it makes me feel terrible.
I just wanna be pretty, that’s all I want. I just want to be small and dainty and adorable. But I’m literally overweight and almost back to how much I weighed before I lost 40lbs and I’m so scared to weigh myself after this week and I don’t know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don’t know, I needed to rant and my therapy is way to far away.
Why can I no longer purge?
/u/Kvltshroom
Created: Sun Oct 28 07:07:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s30b1/why_can_i_no_longer_purge/
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Normally purging isn’t much effort for me, even if the food is dry and I haven’t drank much water with it it comes up relatively easily.
I’ve been at my mum’s house for the past couple of days and binging like crazy- she sort of encourages it and buys lots of crappy food for me (? No idea why). Anyway, the past three times I’ve tried since I’ve been here have been awful. It’s like my gag reflex has just gone. I just tried to purge in the shower and only tiny pieces would come up. Now I feel full and panicky and awful and the worst thing is I have to eat later with my family.
Help! Has anyone else experienced this?!
[Discussion] DAE rarely ever know when they’re actually hungry
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 06:57:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2y78/dae_rarely_ever_know_when_theyre_actually_hungry/
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When was the last time you felt hunger?
I was washing dishes after I made something to eat yesterday when suddenly all I could think about was how full I was and how I shouldn’t have eaten because I wasn’t even hungry. Then I started questioning myself “you were hungry right? No you just ate because it was there you weren’t hungry right?” I stood at the sink just thinking about when I was last hungry, when I truly felt and recognized hunger. I didn’t have an answer. Even last week when I was in bed trying to sleep through hunger pangs, in the moment, I didn’t even recognize it as hunger. Dizziness and shakiness is more of a sign to me that I need to eat than hunger. I register fullness way more than I recognize hunger, but even that doesn’t mean much to me.
The more I think about it, it scares me a bit how out of tune I am with my body and it’s signals.
[Discussion] Studies I would personally fund
/u/SmartOwls
Created: Sun Oct 28 06:26:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2s70/studies_i_would_personally_fund/
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1- what is more effective for weight loss; early morning or late evening workouts?
- answer the question of: should I workout in the morning or at night?
2- what is more effective for weightloss; sleep or exercise?
- answer the question of: should I either lose sleep by getting up early to work out or lose sleep to stay up late to work out depending on the findings in study #1. Or should I focus on getting enough sleep even if it means missing a workout here and there due to scheduling conflicts.
3- Is it more effective for weight loss to not eat around exercise times, eat before exercising or eat right after exercising?
- answer the question of: when is the best time to exercise when doing OMAD and ADF based on the answer to study #1
[Discussion] DAE have “superstitions” about food?
/u/FancyForager [5'2" | CW: 143 | HW: 171 | LW: 120 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 06:15:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2qcx/dae_have_superstitions_about_food/
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So one of my rules is I never eat anything except coffee with fat free half and half before noon. But this morning I woke up extra hungry and decided just this once to make myself two scrambled eggs with a ton of salsa mixed in (one of my safe foods). We own a small farm so our eggs are from our own chickens, and we have a rooster so some of them end up fertilized. Well I was already feeling serious anxiety about breaking my no-food-in-the-morning rule, so when I cracked the second egg into the pan and it was just WATERY BLOOD instead of a normal egg, I was like, “It’s a sign! I shouldn’t be breaking my rule!” And I dumped the whole pan of eggs out and didn’t make myself anything else to eat.
I do this all the time. The other day I was going to make a sandwich with my low calorie bread but when I took the pieces of bread out they had huge air pockets in the middle of them that would have made it impossible to eat a sandwich on them without making a mess. Instead of just getting two different pieces out from deeper in the loaf of bread, I decided it was a sign that I shouldn’t be eating and I just continued my fast.
Is this some weird superstitious remnant of my catholic upbringing or do you guys do this too??
Sunday: Share your favorite recipes!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 28 06:13:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2pwa/sunday_share_your_favorite_recipes/
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Looking for memes? [Right this way~](/r/ProEDmemes)!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 28, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 28 06:10:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2pc2/daily_food_diary_october_28_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 28, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Help] Really struggling
/u/veganvapinggeekazoid
Created: Sun Oct 28 06:01:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2nmm/really_struggling/
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I can't even bring myself to type out my thoughts this morning but I'm really struggling. And I'm away from home so I have none of my coping mechanisms. I just don't want to deal with my brain anymore. It's not me.
I've lost so much weight my poor bony ass can't handle sitting on anything remotely hard
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 05:21:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2h2e/ive_lost_so_much_weight_my_poor_bony_ass_cant/
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They warned me that anorexia will bring heart problems and death, but nobody ever talks about how your ass just shrivels into nothing.
[Rant/Rave] Never Satisfied
/u/_Pulltab_ [67"| CW 155| 24.2| -50| F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 05:16:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2gas/never_satisfied/
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After a couple of weeks of bouncing up and down with what I assume is water weight (and probably period weight although I never got my period) I’m down 5.8 pounds THIS WEEK! I should be thrilled, right?
Except I’m so paranoid and scared that I’m just dehydrated or something and that it’s going to bounce back up again. I’m the lowest weight I’ve been in 11-12 years and all I can do is wait for the other shoe to drop. Maybe if I just don’t eat today it will “stick”.
When can I get off this ride?
I feel guilty for hate watching mukbangers. What are your thoughts on mukbang?
/u/ribbet-the-rabbit
Created: Sun Oct 28 04:58:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s2d7i/i_feel_guilty_for_hate_watching_mukbangers_what/
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I’ve been binge watching mukbang videos, but more specifically mukbangers who are overweight/obese. There’s this one YouTuber who has consistently been gaining weight since her mukbang Chanel and I love to hate watch her videos. Seeing these people eat such big bites of food and so many calories disgusts me and makes me work harder at the gym and eat less. I feel like a really awful person for doing it. What are your thoughts on mukbangs and do you watch them?
Omg this shirt
/u/vulpixies [5'4" | CW 123 | 24F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 03:29:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1zks/omg_this_shirt/
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https://imgur.com/a/OGAjm5s
[Rant/Rave] Checkers
/u/bunntatt [157cm | 75kg | 30 BMI | 9kg | F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 03:18:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1y0t/checkers/
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I just had fast food at 4 am and I feel so gross. I want to throw up but it will wake people up. I feel disgusting. I will not eat for the rest of the day! It wasn't worth it!!
Looks like my OMAD's turning into a 24hr fast 🙃
/u/mpjcx
Created: Sun Oct 28 03:09:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1wm1/looks_like_my_omads_turning_into_a_24hr_fast/
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https://imgur.com/a/V6mQszK
[Discussion] Just finished up at job that turned me to ED behaviours.
/u/ryanhennessy91
Created: Sun Oct 28 03:06:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1wac/just_finished_up_at_job_that_turned_me_to_ed/
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Friday was my last day at my job that turned me to my ED behaviours.
I am hoping that by starting my "new" job (The job I had before the one i just left) will help me nudge into some sort of recovery.
I suppose that only time will tell what happens because I feel now that my ED is now almost the only coping mechanism that I have.
Someone on the writing team for Brooklyn 99 definitely has an ED (mild spoilers)
/u/esthergetsthin [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sun Oct 28 02:58:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1v4j/someone_on_the_writing_team_for_brooklyn_99/
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Hear me out:
Many if not most sitcoms have a fat character, for whom their whole shtick is that they're fat and love food. The Office has Kevin, Parks and Rec has Jerry, etc. etc. Brooklyn 99 has not one, not two, but THREE characters for whom their whole shtick is food. Charles Boyle, although not fat, clearly obsesses over food. Basically his whole character is sycophantic bets friend who's obsessed with food. And then there's both Hitchcock and Scully, who have literally no defining characteristics outside of loving food (and talking about it constantly) and hating physical activity.
On top of the three characters who basically only exist to talk about food, a number of other characters are shown to have a complex relationship with food and their weight. Terry, who is played by one of the most physically fit men I've ever seen, has an entire backstory about how he used to be overweight and is constantly on the verge of lapsing back into (what looks to be) binge eating disorder. When Charles brings in cacao nibs, it triggers a full-on relapse, and Terry is shown to have grown to mammoth proportions within the space of a single episode due to his addiction. Furthermore, in Season 5, he reveals that he once ate an entire crate of hams in the throes of his disorder, and also relates a story about having eaten a single slice of pizza and going on a food rampage that ended with him waking up in a closed Sbarro.
Jake's dietary habits are also examined in detail -- we're expected to believe that someone who looks like Andy Samberg subsists entirely on a diet of Cheetos and soda. On top of this, there's an entire episode (season 1, episode 20) where the entire crew goes on essentially a starvation diet. Every characters starts to exhibit super ED behavior, such as sucking on a single almond for half an hour, and getting irrationally upset when their eating plans are disrupted even a tiny bit. Not to mention the extreme calorie restriction.
Idk, man, it just seems like a little too much to be coincidence to me.
[Help] I really hope that someone reads this long, long post. And thank you very much if you do.
/u/Whisperingoceanwaves
Created: Sun Oct 28 02:14:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1ofq/i_really_hope_that_someone_reads_this_long_long/
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Hello everyone, I want your help please! For the last 7 months, I've had problems with my body image and dieting, and I don't think they are just the "common" kind among teen girls (I'm 16 btw). My negative thoughts have a HUGE effect on my mental health, and now, also my physical health, now that my unhealthy habits have been evolving. Let me start: I don't know if I actually have an ED or not. Now I'm not asking for a diagnosis (OMG I hope I'm not breaking rule no.2!), rather for support. I won't go into too much details yet: basically I have been dealing with what I would surely consider disordered thoughts: thinking I'm fat, ALWAYS thinking about my body, calories, what I ate/what I should eat, and how much I hate my disgusting fat body, etc. Initially I've gone on on and off diets due to people's comments on my body and my own insecurities but during my summer break in July, someone "triggered" me and it absolutely wrecked me, and caused me to totally focus on losing weight until summer ends. I did, and lost 3 kg in two weeks. Unexpectedly, I even hit lower than my GW. Long story short, after that I planned to maintain and stop counting calories because I was so tired, but stuff happened and now I've adopted binging and restricting. My mind is even more messed up now. Also, I haven't had a period in 3 months. Now I ask you, do you think this is disordered?? More importantly, and my main question, AM I WELCOME TO POST HERE? Because I so badly want to talk to you guys about my problems but I'm worried that I'm not sick enough, or sick AT ALL to be posting here about my "disordered eating". I'm scared that you may think of me as a wannarexic or something. I'm just so tired of this. I want your guys opinions if I deserve join this community before I actually start posting about my struggles. Also you people are all so beautiful and inspiring and that's another reason why this sub appeals to me. ❤ Thank you so much to everyone who read this, and I really hope that I get some responses. T_T
[Rant/Rave] I finally had a classic Margherita Pizza today...
/u/CalmConcern [175cm/5'9"|53.4kg/117.8lbs|17.4 |F]
Created: Sun Oct 28 01:12:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1fh1/i_finally_had_a_classic_margherita_pizza_today/
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I used to inhale pizzas, I could literally sit at a pizza meal and keep going. So, when my ED first developed a year ago, pizza instantly went on the fear foods list.
I’ve craved it almost every day since (watching videos about pizza, reading recipes, I even tried to make a low cal one using a tortilla and I couldn’t even eat it), I could have written odes to a Margherita Pizza.
Yesterday I decided enough was enough, I was going to order one and have it, even if it meant eating the entire thing and feeling awful for the rest of the week.
I ordered a traditional stone-cooked Margherita Pizza from a boujee Italian restaurant, with the buffalo mozzarella (because we all know that’s the good shit), because if I was going to binge, it’s going to be on the best damn pizza I’ll have in ages. It finally came...
And I felt content after 3 slices. That was all I needed. I didn’t log it into my app, I didn’t have to carefully separate each element of the pizza like a psycho surgeon or serial killer(as I usually do with fear foods), I just put 3 slices on a plate and slowly ate it, like a NORMAL PERSON. My body really just said stop, I’m tired of eating now, and I felt full.
I haven’t felt like a normal person for so long, and I’m so excited.
(But now I have almost 3 quarters of a lovely pizza on my countertop and fuck me if I start binging on it in an hour or two)
Stupidest ingredient replacement I ever pulled because of my ED
/u/icthaine [🌾 5'8" | CW 146.5 | -20.5 | 23M]
Created: Sun Oct 28 01:03:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1e4f/stupidest_ingredient_replacement_i_ever_pulled/
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I mixed some nacho cheddar seasoning (a Cheez-It colored abomination, 2 cal per 1/4 tsp) into my egg whites to change the color to yellow and trick my body into thinking it was a scramble made with whole eggs. Because I miss whole eggs. I just miss that sunny golden hue. So full of life. So full of fat.
Joke's on my ED this time, because it worked, tasted great, and was a superb idea.
​
https://i.redd.it/6porfwhzivu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] reached gw, now what?
/u/mattbonie
Created: Sun Oct 28 00:56:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1cyo/reached_gw_now_what/
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lately ive been thinking abt how pathetic this whole mess makes me feel and i know i need to recover but idk how to without gaining weight. rn im 5’2 and ~100lbs and i want to eat like a normal person and not obsess and worry all the time but thats just not a reality is it? i feel like im wasting my life on this for no reason. its a constant debate between “dont you want to have a good life?” and “dont you want to be skinny?”. its awful. is there any way i can maintain my current weight while eating normally and not hating myself all the time?
[Rant/Rave] Yikes on yikes
/u/flrssvgs
Created: Sun Oct 28 00:53:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1ci0/yikes_on_yikes/
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I got too drunk at a party and ate too much chips and dip and then saw Victoria Justice in the new Rocky Horror and I honestly would rather someone off me please.
I’ve been so good and now it’ll take me days to get back to where I was today. I’ve been eating at 400 cals this whole week and that’s all gone now.
How do you guys deal with bloat and water weight and not losing weight in the time you expected?
[Help] I want to go back to my ed without it taking over my life. How?!?
/u/readiton_reddit55
Created: Sun Oct 28 00:34:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s19nq/i_want_to_go_back_to_my_ed_without_it_taking_over/
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I want to go back to my ED. I’m fat I need to lose weight I want to lose weight. But I’ve enjoyed certain perks of recovery like having energy to do things, like knowing that I get to eat when I’m hungry. I’m also scared because I want to restrict but I don’t want to be overcome by the b/p restrict cycle. I just need to be thing and frail and in control. I think something that will help is that I get prescribed vyvanse which completely decreases my appetite. How do I let ED back into my life and lose some serious weight without it ruining me. There has to be a way. There has to be some way to live a good happy life with ED. I need to figure it out because if ED does one thing well, it helps me not feel anything else. I’m tired of feeling everything, but I need energy to get to school and life. I don’t want to die or anything, I just want to cease existing for a little bit and be thrust into the world of weight loss until I feel like I can tread water and I am not drowning.
Has anyone given up purging but still restricts?
/u/Firebug__
Created: Sun Oct 28 00:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s16ye/has_anyone_given_up_purging_but_still_restricts/
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Purging is horrid. I dread it. But I’m also really good at it. And I’m addicted to ice cream 🙄
Recovery isn’t on my mind though. So middle ground is finding a way to stop purging without the advice “eat enough, eat 3 meals 3 snacks, don’t deprive yourself” etc etc ugh
Has anyone been able to stop (or even reduce) purging but not with the usual recovery advice?
The longest I’ve been able to go w/o purging but still restricted was 6 months, but honestly my memory is so shit I don’t remember how tf I did that. Right now I’m averaging 2-3 times a day (a lot better than my worst a few months ago when I was doing it 15+ times a day. Idk how I survived that lol)
im drunk and wanna weigh myself
/u/annxiouss
Created: Sun Oct 28 00:07:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s1592/im_drunk_and_wanna_weigh_myself/
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the somewhat sober part of me knows i shouldn’t but god i want to know. i was only able to fast 32 hours. gonna do that again then weigh myself. i wish i could drink lax tea but i have work tomorrow and i dont want to die while im there. i need more self control around food. this is the only reason i regret moving in with my bf 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
bragging in the ED community
/u/truemearoundyou [5'7.5 | 110 | -10lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 28 00:07:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s157p/bragging_in_the_ed_community/
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hey YA'LL how are we DOIN' today!!!
i originally wanted to talk about this in the thinspo subreddit because that's where this idea came to mind, but then i was like nah it's picture based but ANYWAY
does anyone else feel like lately they've been seeing an influx of really... braggy posts?
i just feel like lately I've been seeing a ton of self-posts that seem to be fishing for compliments, especially on the thinspo subreddit. i am all for feeling ourselves, feeling good, feeling skinny. but it feels braggadocios and is literally never motivating to me, no matter how thin the person is. their self awareness and "wouldn't you like to look like this?" vibes make me uneasy.
anyway. ok. bye.
Update: I had a date
/u/BleuBird18
Created: Sat Oct 27 23:27:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0yl8/update_i_had_a_date/
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I thought it was amazing.
I thought he felt the same way. I sent him a message confirming that I did in fact like him, after a bit of flirty banter.
He said he thinks I'm a cool person.
I don't know if I'm just hormonal and overthinking things... I have told him he is handsome. I am genuine about compliments, and I have said nice things to him about his hobbies and talents.
I am crying right now, because like a fucking idiot I told a guy I liked him.
I look in the mirror and see a cow staring back. No wonder I'm 'cool', I can't be attractive or hot or beautiful.
I'm going over everything up to this point in my head and I'm wondering if I just fucking imagined it all.
He seems passive and indifferent and I wish I could blink out of existence.
Seriously. Fuck everything.
Oh hell
/u/cant-get-enough
Created: Sat Oct 27 23:25:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0y7s/oh_hell/
---
This is a throwaway account--
I'm such a bitch. I have lied to everyone, including my eating disordered "friends" regarding my behaviors and mindset, blatant lies. To such an extent that no one is even aware that I have any issue with food at this point, they were once concerned and I was once open, then "I grew up", and figured it was best to set a good example, shit seeps out so they see the loss elsewhere, or they don't. I don't want people to try to control my life, and attempting healthy living has gone to shit for reasons beyond my control. The best I can do is cope with it by doing what I know. My lies disgust me, but what else is new? It would ultimatley July affect my personal relationships and potentially my job if anyone was made aware, and no one would give a shit to the extent that they would "help"... so caring is a battle.
My regular behavior is "normal" enough for it to be justifiable, in a social context. My eating disorder behavior is hidden. I started bringing and purging seriously for the first time in years a few weeks ago and it shot my budget to the ground, i spent about 300 bucks in 4 days. I cant affor that shit, currently. I don't even know how to explain to others where my minimal savings went. I looked at my face today in the mirror and was shocked at the swelling purging had caused. I looked at old photos from when it was bad, I realized how bad it was.
Instead of thinking "yes, I will take the rational approach and eat at regular intervals attempting to maintain a healthy diet!"-- I created a new mfp account (I know people associated with the one I had, but havent logged into for 2 years or more) and planned how I will make money and calories stretch, fill the void with restriction, peace, function, and fuck everything else. Defining life by irrationality, once again. So comforting, it sucks to know that it never is as good as it first seems. I know it will end in shit but have no reason to choose differently at this point, starve to live.
You ever forget normal eating behaviors?
/u/Risperdoll
Created: Sat Oct 27 23:24:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0y3i/you_ever_forget_normal_eating_behaviors/
---
I told my friends I was hungry which I thought was stupid because "I just had a snack 5 hours ago". Apparently it's not normal to go without eating a full meal for 11 hours and having one snack in between. I forget when normal people eat and how much they eat and when a proper time to feel hungry is. \#justrecovery(?)things
I can't handle living in my body
/u/ArturoBelano2666
Created: Sat Oct 27 23:21:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0xih/i_cant_handle_living_in_my_body/
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I'm a 25 year old man and I've had seriously fluctuating weight most of my life, especially the past three years (ranging from 130lbs to 250lbs). My gf and I were having a sexy night, like doing shit all through several hours, and we made a trip to target for lingerie and she convinced me to buy a pair of tight boxer briefs. I tried them on at home and lost it. I took pictures and screenshotted all my rolls up close. I can't let her touch me and I'm crying. I'm so sick of all of this. I hate how my own skin feels and there's nothing I can do about it. It's never going to change.
[Rant/Rave] ok so i’m kinda drunk rn
/u/brontide-holophrasis [18M | 5'9" | cw: yikes | gw: 110 lbs]
Created: Sat Oct 27 22:50:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0rwr/ok_so_im_kinda_drunk_rn/
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idk just take everything i say with a grain of salt i guess (i’m legit typing this with one eye closed)
but anyway during the being hospitalized this week (for a slight manic episode, college people overreacted, i’m fine) i got put on effexor and even though it’s only been a few days i legit have no appetite, for the past two days i’ve only eaten once a day and been totally fine with it despite usually binge eating, even while drunk i ate WAY less than i have been recently for like all day, i’m kinda looking forward to this continuing even though people are already worried, sorry if none of this makes sense or is important at all lmao
(totally unrelated, but the party i got drunk at, i held the host’s hand and leaned on him for a while and made his girlfriend kind of uncomfortable and i still feel like such a dick about it, i’m just incredibly touch starved and really need a cuddle buddy tbh it’s kind of fucking sad how much i need human touch and how much not having any of it is driving me insane)
[Help] How lonely are yall? Also tips on getting a boyfriend pls lmao
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Sat Oct 27 22:33:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0opg/how_lonely_are_yall_also_tips_on_getting_a/
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I’m in such a low place lately. All the guys I end up liking end up playing me or ignoring me, and my current “friends” treat me like dog shit and are miserable. The main one putting me down when he’s in a bad mood and the others not being too interested to talk to me and getting bored easily (online, and sadly it’s slightly relieving because I’m used to men being sneaky and perverted irl to me) When you have no one else to talk to and your family is depressing and mean, it’s easy to fall back on mean friends and men who use you.
I feel too gross to go to job interviews for the job I want, to go to the gym, to be seen.
I’ve been drinking lately to cope. I’ll make a quick trip to a liquor store in the further, dirtier and more dangerous part of town to avoid seeing anyone.
I want so SO bad to have someone to come home to that isn’t just using me as a walking flesh-light, who isn’t constantly skipping meeting up to drink with “friends”. I also want to spend most of my time at the gym.......
I have become pretty pathetic and messy and sad.
Help?
[Other] So I just had a relevation
/u/Belarie [5'4", 130, F :)]
Created: Sat Oct 27 22:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0o6g/so_i_just_had_a_relevation/
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I thought growing up that My parents had bought my friends (idk how we didn’t have much money) because I believed I was awkward. Now I just believe they pity me because.. I dont deserved to be loved.
I’m never going to get help for this anyway. Not tell I’m sick. A therapist doesn’t want to care for a low-risk patient. But I can’t starve. I don’t know what to do. I’m going back in forth in circles
I feel so silly because I bet you guys have these thoughts all the time and they’re just a part of life and that these shouldn’t be a relevation just something you notice. I don’t know. I’m at a sleepover and should be enjoying the moment but instead I’m typing at an eating disorder subreddit instead.
Good night guys.
[Tip] PSA: Arctic zero tastes like actual trash, dont make my mistake. It tastes like medicine and sadness
/u/Tsuyu_irl [5'2" | cw:124lbs | gw: 105 |F22]
Created: Sat Oct 27 22:12:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0kin/psa_arctic_zero_tastes_like_actual_trash_dont/
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https://i.redd.it/lpkhnq1equu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My life is a joke
/u/uiume
Created: Sat Oct 27 22:11:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0kez/my_life_is_a_joke/
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i don't care about college i can't deal with it anymore just a waste of time i can't take any of it seriously i give up. it's not like i'm continuing after community college so who cares if my grades just tank or if i drop out. i don't. it doesn't mean anything
i want to starve i feel so sick
everything is too much for me i can't stand being alive with no purpose and suffering all the while
i ahve no friends my family hardly cares about me i do nothing i've accomplished nothing i'm a nobody with no talent no aspirations i feel so hopeless and overwhelmed and i can't even think about anything because i'm constantly thinking about everything and i don't even see a point to any of it anymore i'm so sad and disappointed with my life
i want a new life i want to start over find somethingw orth living for but i can't do that i have no money have too many student loans no job no employable talents at this point probably won't have a degree i'm so goddamn tired and alone
everything is just a waste and it hurts so much that this is my reality and at the source of all of my suffering is literally just me. i'm so so sad, i want to scream and cry and be able to breathe for once but i can't.
sorry this isn't explicitly ed related
[Rant/Rave] I love tea
/u/vanilla-cola [18f | 5’6 | cw ~150 | gw 130 | ugw 120 ]
Created: Sat Oct 27 21:49:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0fv4/i_love_tea/
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y’all, I forgot how great tea was. I’ve drank so much tea over the years and am obsessed but haven’t had much over the past few weeks because my life has been HECTIC with moving and furniture yadda yadda
I just had some lemon ginger tea and I forgot just how much I love it. definitely gonna switch to living off various teas during the day and doing one small meal at night. I’m pumped 💞
When to see a doctor ~ (TMI)
/u/aeonamare
Created: Sat Oct 27 21:35:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0d1z/when_to_see_a_doctor_tmi/
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OK I think I've seriously done some harm here with my excessive purging. The last couple days I've been high restricting but whenever I eat I get serious heartburn and start to regurgitate stomach acid and involuntary vomit up food to the point where my throat burns. Is this normal? What doctor do I even see for this issue?
[Rant/Rave] weight fluctuations are ugly and the worst
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw128 (18.4) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 21:33:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0cof/weight_fluctuations_are_ugly_and_the_worst/
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it’s just so rude how i can go from 128 to 131 in a couple days with little change in caloric intake
who gave anyone permission for that to happen
also while i’m here it’s wack how i have little appetite but i keep eating because people make me uncomfortable (“hey are you gonna eat” or “cmon let’s get food”) like !!!! i would be on the best fucking fast right now if it wasn’t for social pressures, i’m /this/ close to hiding from everyone so i don’t have to deal w this anymore. like it’s nothing personal homies i’m just tired of being fat.
[Help] Part of me wants to starve myself until I collapse so that people notice I’m not okay
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Sat Oct 27 21:29:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s0bkt/part_of_me_wants_to_starve_myself_until_i/
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I want help and I don’t want help
I'm, like, really upset about this lettuce.
/u/SushiUschi
Created: Sat Oct 27 21:05:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s06oo/im_like_really_upset_about_this_lettuce/
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Excuse my nonsensical rant, but how the fuck is it not calorie-free? **YOU TASTE LIKE WATER!**
​
The ***AUDACITY.***
​
I'm so upset. I binged for breakfast (someone thought it would be a good idea to buy 24 cans of ravioli) and went for something healthy for dinner and started freaking out over some wilted lettuce in the fridge. All vegetables should be calorie-free. So tired of this.
the not-eating high feels like waking up early & drinking coffee while Christmas shopping for loved ones while receiving compliments and knowing you have plans with a cute person later
/u/shrek2wasmyidea
Created: Sat Oct 27 21:04:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s06b6/the_noteating_high_feels_like_waking_up_early/
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[Rant/Rave] Rock bottom
/u/shmlurn
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:43:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s01u2/rock_bottom/
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Yesterday I had to read some stuff that wrote for an event. Naturally I kept my intake low so that I wouldn’t look bloated in front of everyone. Afterward I ended up grabbing a few drinks with a couple new-ish friends who were there, but I was really really socially anxious so I drank way too much. I fucking projectile vomited on the floor and got kicked out of the bar. I didn’t even have my new friends’ phone numbers so I couldn’t tell them what happened and I was so fucked up I couldn’t even walk home.
I’m honestly ridiculously lucky that different friend of mine saw me (covered in my own fucking vomit) took me to her house and let me use her shower (my hot water heater was broken) and crash on her couch.
Sorry for the word dump I just feel like a huge idiot and waste of space. I never want to drink, eat, or vomit again.
I'm 1 lb away from a 'Normal' bmi!! ONE FRIKKIN POUND
/u/Dadamkaos57
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:36:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9s00cd/im_1_lb_away_from_a_normal_bmi_one_frikkin_pound/
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Ima cut my hair brb.
No but seriously I'm so excited and I've never been so positive about my weight. ♡♡♡
Also why do people gotta judge? I got excited in front of other humans and just..the looks..
[Rant/Rave] Failing at Everything :)))))))
/u/mmmgood5
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:19:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzwhg/failing_at_everything/
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I was doing so well and losing weight and not binging or going above my calorie count and now I'm in full stress mode and ate a burger and fries and a fucking milkshake and two, count them TWO bagels. I am literally so frustrated. Why do people have to bring food everywhere. I just want to lie in bed for ten days and fast but I can't even sleep in past 9 on the weekends because I'm in tech rehearsals 12 hours a day for my show and I have midterms next week and I am just a whole big mess. I hate that I am such an over-sharer that a bunch of people now kinda know so they keep making me eat and now I want to die UGH.
[Discussion] My boyfriend is a huge trigger (yes another post on this sub about boyfriends triggering lmao)
/u/Exoarmyl [5'4 | CW: FAT | GW: 140lbs | WL: ? | 17F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzvt2/my_boyfriend_is_a_huge_trigger_yes_another_post/
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I love my boyfriend more than what’s healthily possible. I’d do anything for him and I know he’d do the same for me. He genuinely loves me and my body and everything about me. However, he is a MASSIVE trigger, especially as of late.
Lately, he’s been telling me about how little he’s eating, and how he’s not even trying and he just forgets and yada, yada, yada. (Don’t worry he doesn’t have an ED. He’s just been busy with school and applying to college and remaining valedictorian.)
Well, as any of you could imagine, it is so triggering. My boyfriend is WAYYYY skinnier than me and is objectively more attractive, regardless of weight. He doesn’t have to do anything and he can just skip meals, then eat a bunch of pizza and be very content with life and not gain a pound. This is a person who spent about a week in the hospital and another week on bed rest and ended up gaining around 15ish lbs. This dude literally lost all of that without even blinking. He wasn’t working out, watching what he ate, or anything related to weight loss. He could barely even walk as much as he was used to because his hospitalization weakened his muscles for awhile, yet he still managed to lose the weight and went back to looking perfect.
I hate seeing myself in pictures with him that aren’t specifically angled and taken by me to make me look less like a whale. I just don’t know what to do man. He knows about my ED and none of what he says is said in a malicious way or said purposely to trigger me. He wants to help me lost weight in a healthier way (which is also triggering because that is literally him confirming that I have weight that needs to be lost), but how can I do it healthily when he’s telling me about how he’s forgetting to eat all day while I can’t even go more than two seconds without thinking about food.
I just really hate myself.
I compared myself to a 500lb person in line
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:13:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzv39/i_compared_myself_to_a_500lb_person_in_line/
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Guys, I feel both terrible and awesome. I went to get my standard small pizza from the gas station. (They make bomb ass pizza). While waiting for it to be ready, my ed brain was panicking. Cookies, ice cream, bread sticks, muffin, candy bar... in walks a guy to pick up his food. His order is a small pizza, two hot sandwiches, three individual sized bags of chips, and three sprites.
Sounds like it's for a family of three right? No. This is a town of maybe 1,000 people. I know for a fact he lives alone. I felt badly because he's potentially buying in threes to desperately try to pass it off as "nah, it's cool. The wife and kid are waiting at home."
My rational brain punched my ed brain in the face. I left with my small pizza and single coke.
Back to my shit
/u/waverliethelane
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:13:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzv2l/back_to_my_shit/
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Well. I had a Three day binge.
Back to being a boss Bitch
Aka back to starving and pretending I’m normal ☺️
[Help] Just started a fast. Anyone want to help support / encourage me? Thanks! 🖤
/u/giamarie882
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:10:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzuhh/just_started_a_fast_anyone_want_to_help_support/
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Fat
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:07:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rztpr/fat/
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All i can see in the mirror is fat,fat, and more fats. Envious of my skinny friends who eat a shit ton of food but cant even put on weight lol.
[Discussion] Ups and downs this week?
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Sat Oct 27 20:03:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzswl/ups_and_downs_this_week/
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It was really nice to read everyone's ups and downs last week. If you've got more, post 'em here!
Mine this week:
Downs
-Ate at maintenance this week so didn't lose any weight.
- Kind of fell out of my routine a bit so I didn't exercise or clean my house.
Ups
-Actually cooked instead of eating exclusively instant food and snacks.
-Found a place to buy 100 cal popcorn bags in Korea!💕
-I'm okay with maintaining as long as I'm not gaining. Having a 'week off' is making it easier to restrict this week.
[Help] Seeing a new therapist next week
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:56:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzr71/seeing_a_new_therapist_next_week/
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And I want to be honest and tell her I’m struggling but I also want to tell her that I’m currently not willing to stop restricting and trying to lose weight... anyone have any experience with telling a therapist this?
What did they do? Did they force recovery on you? I just need to see a therapist to work out some of my feelings but I’m currently not at a place to change my behavior.
[Rant/Rave] Cyclical ednos
/u/monsterenergyfacetat
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:52:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzqaf/cyclical_ednos/
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I’ve been lurking in this thread for a really long time but never posted but I’ve had an eating disorder for over 10 years (started with bulimia, met the criteria for AN at 2 points, now my official diagnosis is EDNOS) .
Sometimes I feel like if I were to really dive deep into my illness I would just have binge eating disorder . Lately I feel like all the restricting and purging is just damage control for binging or even eating normally. Lately I can’t stop thinking about food. Even when I’m not eating I smoke, vape, drink coffee,
Eat an entire pack of sugar free gum a day. I can’t stop consuming. And I’m just maintaining my weight. Not gaining but not losing but killing myself more and more every day. Any ideas on how to get out of this cycle and stop obsessing ???
Is this thinspo?
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:49:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzpoy/is_this_thinspo/
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https://i.redd.it/tc45cq7w0uu11.jpg
[Discussion] paranoid
/u/likrot
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:34:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzmen/paranoid/
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is anyone else like, super paranoid about calories. i wont drink water from those fountains at fast food places (you know, the ones that come out of the same spout as the juice) because im afraid there will be juice in it. i wont take sleeping pills because im paranoid theres some typa calories in it. sometimes when i c/s i get paranoid then too. i was just wondering is there anyone who is the same?
My ED brain has been a HUGE MESS and has been all over the place this past month.
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzllg/my_ed_brain_has_been_a_huge_mess_and_has_been_all/
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fuck October man, this has been the worst month ever.
In August and September, I was restricting SO WELL. I never even went over 1000 calories the whole time. Was I cold? yes. Did my hair start falling out? yes. Did I skip my period despite being a virgin lesbian? yes. But I also managed to lose like, 25 lbs in 2 months without even that much exercise.
Then, on Thanksgiving, I binged, and I planned a week-long fast. (2000 calories)
Not even 24 hours later, I mini-binged AGAIN. (1500 calories)
Then, that week I decided to maintain. I thought "Well, what's 1 week of maintaining going to do?"
Last week, I high restricted pretty well. I think my highest number was 900, but I still felt guilty for being consistently over 500 the whole week. I \*was\* planning on transitioning back to low restriction (200 calories a day), buuuut guess what happened the week afterwards?
​
Before I get to that, I'd like to add this. Back the early days of Ana, I would count my calories via measuring cups, and I only counted the calories in my \*food\* and drinks with calories \*in them\*. I never bothered to log diet soda, splenda, mustard, spices, onions, garlic, ginger, etc, because I didn't see a point to it.
But as I got more and more tedious, I couldn't sleep without counting the calories in Splenda, pieces of fucking gum, diet soda, or the spices I would add to my food. If my food scale was missing, I couldn't eat. Then I found a fancier food scale and I couldn't sleep without weighing out my food TWICE. It got to a point where Ana was controlling everything a little too much. I can't even remotely enjoy my food anymore because nowadays garlic and spices and even fucking pepper and cinnamon are too high in calories. I finally decided to say "fuck you" to Ana for taking TOO much control. Unfortunately I decided to do so by spending \*this\* past week....
fucking binging. HARD. My binge days are as high as 3000-4000 nowadays, and my restrict days are as low as under 500. I binged today, but assuming I stay under 1000 tomorrow, I will still maintain for the week.
I feel so much more fucking miserable. Like, I legitimately feel like a failure and I HIGHKEY crave death right about now.
See, there have been days where I've had a recovery-like attitude towards eating, and other days where Ana takes over and is like "tHaT's 2 eXtRa cAlOrIes wOrTh oF cInNaMoN" and other days where I'm all "I spent 2 months in a row restricting, I deserve these 10 candy bars, 3 sandwiches and this entire bag of cheetos LOLOLOL" and I keep cycling through these thoughts nonstop. I hate it. AGGGHHHH.
​
I wanna go back to the early days of Ana where I only measured my food in cups, not with 3 different food scales.
When I assumed Splenda had 0 calories.
When I had the willpower to restrict, but considered 700 to be a success, not a failure. (I used to restrict to 200 a day, so 700 was, once upon a time, before this dreaded fucking month began, a lot of calories.)
When I didn't bother to log spices, hot sauce, mustard, or diet soda.
When I was losing weight. FAST.
When I was anorexic, but only like, mildly so, if that makes any sense. I would like to recover too, but I'm like 35 lbs away from my goal so I think I'd rather have Ana-lite for now.
If it wasn't for the binge/restrict cycle, I could have been 115 lbs by Halloween, but here I am, still at 124 lbs. FUCK.
**TL:DR This entire month has been spent maintaining, but via binge/restricting, and I'm at my fucking wit's end here. I want to cry and/die so bad right now.**
​
​
​
​
[Rant/Rave] Can't binge if you're too broke to buy food B)
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:23:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzjt6/cant_binge_if_youre_too_broke_to_buy_food_b/
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I was highkey so ready to binge but then i remembered my parents make me buy my own food even though im like 16 and work part time at mcdonalds so all i could buy was a tiny vanilla chai latte which didnt even taste that good so i cried all the way home because i wanna be rich and pretty but im Not
At least I'll be skinny and at least my shitty minimum wage job serves mostly morbidly obese people that i can secretly judge and use as inspiration to keep getting skinnier so i dont end up like them :)
Looks like my OMAD's turning into a 24hr fast!
/u/mpjcx
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:08:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzgd6/looks_like_my_omads_turning_into_a_24hr_fast/
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https://i.redd.it/5kwojac8ttu11.jpg
Lost 20 lbs. Still look chubby in photos.
/u/dissolvinglipids
Created: Sat Oct 27 19:06:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rzft9/lost_20_lbs_still_look_chubby_in_photos/
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Lost 20 lbs since the beginning of this year. 10 in the last few weeks which puts me at 135 lbs. I thought I was on my way to looking sort of good and liking my body somewhat even though I have a ways to go but my family took pictures of me today and I look disgustingly large still. I'm only 5'2" so it does not carry well.
Will be spending the next few months actively avoiding photos, which will be hard because of the holidays, but I can't handle the mental stress of seeing myself at such a hefty state. At least now I realize my ultimate goal is to simply like what I look like in photos.
[Rant/Rave] I'm just so sad and wish I could just not eat about it
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 140 | GW 125]
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:40:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz9rq/im_just_so_sad_and_wish_i_could_just_not_eat/
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because of family stuff I'm missing out on a Halloween party and missed a big volunteer event this morning and I thought maybe I'd get something out of today if I didn't eat but then when i took my brother out for ramen i got myself some cold soba which isnt bad but then I went home n ate like 1/3 of a pumpkin pie
I'm graduating and moving away and im never gonna get to go to a fun college Halloween party bc I was too depressed my first two years and I eat so much and I'm never going to be thin
I wanna cry so much
I love/hate my boyfriends parents.
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 26F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:38:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz9cq/i_lovehate_my_boyfriends_parents/
---
Mods please mark Rant as I’m on mobile.
My boyfriends parents are the absolute sweetest people. Seriously. They love me, and treat me nicer than my own family at times. They buy us anything we might need including a car and gave us one of their houses to live in. I love them.
BUT THEY ALWAYS BRING OVER PIZZA. GOOD PIZZA AND BREAD AND SODA. WHYYYYY.
[Rant/Rave] Currently Freaking Out Over a Salad
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:38:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz99g/currently_freaking_out_over_a_salad/
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So, my father (who is super awesome, love you dad 💜) and I are going to a concert tonight. We got to the venue and found out it started later than we thought, so we went to a restaurant/bar next door while we wait. I had only eaten 130 calories today so far.
The menu was full of high calorie bar food, and I didn't know what to get, so I ordered a blackened chicken salad. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES WERE IN IT. I logged the highest calorie info I found on MFP (around 750 cals!!!!) but I'm hoping it wasn't actually that high..
Hopefully standing for this concert will burn calories.. Does anyone know how many calories standing per hour burns? ):
Ugh. At least that was my main meal of the day.
I'll do better tomorrow. Why can't I just focus on having fun with my dad instead of worrying about food?
Who's the instagrammer that only eats like meat cubes and tomatoes??
/u/philoqueen [5'7" | CW 110 lbs | GW 105lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:29:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz75f/whos_the_instagrammer_that_only_eats_like_meat/
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Anyone know who I am talking about? Pretty sure she is korean? All her photos are like thinspo and meat cubes and tomatoes.
[Help] My thoughts run on a hamster wheel and eat their own babies.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 87.6lbs| 14.1 | Male]
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:15:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz3xq/my_thoughts_run_on_a_hamster_wheel_and_eat_their/
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Shit. As much as I keep letting myself be sucked back into this disorder, this needs to stop. Every day is the exact same. The weird, obsessive, analytical thoughts are too much, they don't make sense in *any* context except the eating disorder's weight loss goals. and they don't serve me. The rules get worse; a bowl of oatmeal and 2 slices of bread are too many grain servings in a day (nevermind my meal plan says I need 6); bare minimum calorie intake 1200 for survival? well I've only been getting \~900 for the past couple days so I can't eat more now; I didn't do any sort of activity all day and I slept for 12 hours so I need less food. I'm getting hungry, but "rationalize" my way out of it (I shouldn't be hungry because x). I'm only at \~800kcal today so I know I'll need to eat more, but what can I have that doesn't have grains, is satisfying but not too filling, doesn't leave me feeling like I need to restrict tomorrow to compensate? Help.
the end of the line bois
/u/monsterputt
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:08:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz1zr/the_end_of_the_line_bois/
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no more binging.
idc if u believe me or not
dis bitch is done. 8 n a half months of nonstop binging
I want to die
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:04:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz15y/i_want_to_die/
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Im so lonely
My boyfriend wont talk to me
Im ignored for how fat and boring I am.
I see all these gorgeous, thin girls in my life living it up and being well loved and popular.
Then theres me, no one wants me. Im so pathetic. I eat to fill the void and it just makes me even more disgusting and ugly
I cant reach out for any online friends because it feels like I dont exist to them
Everyone is going out for halloween parties, hanging out with friends, looking all pretty and sexy in their photos and im just here in my pyjamas like a big fat blob
I want to cry
So i want to wither away and die...ill never eat again and just fade away. At least ill die pretty...
Sorry, i just needed to get this out. Im pathetic
I saw this on tattoos and thought it was so perfect
/u/rachelrayromano [5'4" | CW BINGE BLIMP | 19.86 |F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 18:01:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rz0bc/i_saw_this_on_tattoos_and_thought_it_was_so/
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https://i.redd.it/wxz4cq1pdsu11.jpg
Boozin on a (calorie) budget. Cheers to looking hot in our Halloween costumes.
/u/breadvice [5’2” | 23F | CW 125 | GW 110 | UGW 100]
Created: Sat Oct 27 17:48:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ryx7f/boozin_on_a_calorie_budget_cheers_to_looking_hot/
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https://i.redd.it/sxtyhgeeftu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I have exactly 7 weeks to lose around 10 pounds
/u/coffeeandcamels [5"4.5 | 16.2 | CW: 96 | UGW: 85]
Created: Sat Oct 27 17:46:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rywoz/i_have_exactly_7_weeks_to_lose_around_10_pounds/
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If I can get my shit together, stop chewing and spitting, drink more water, and my body doesn’t totally fuck me over, I think I can do it (maybe wishful thinking)
If I don’t reach my goal weight by the time I get home for winter break I :) Will :) Scream :)
Thought y'all might like this...
/u/follyflop [5'9" | CW: fucking ew | GW: much less | F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 17:46:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rywhw/thought_yall_might_like_this/
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https://i.redd.it/wxz4cq1pdsu11.jpg
Recommendations for very light but attractive/well made bowls and plates?
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 109 | GW 104 | F26]
Created: Sat Oct 27 17:41:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ryvhs/recommendations_for_very_light_but_attractivewell/
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Ok guys I know this is a serious ED question but like
I don't like using heavy bowls and plates because I feel like they make my food scale less accurate, but I NEED that tare feature because I'm a sauce hoe
Help a sister out?
I give up.
/u/anonymous37838292822
Created: Sat Oct 27 17:10:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rynly/i_give_up/
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I've been trying to just be healthy and diet, and I've lost some weight but I still look fat. I keep going over my already high calorie limit because I have no self control. I hate that I thought I was strong enough to lose this weight without starving. I give up and I'm coming back to this community.
[Rant/Rave] Just gonna drop a rant bc I have literally nowhere else to vent.
/u/graeciamagna
Created: Sat Oct 27 16:56:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ryjy3/just_gonna_drop_a_rant_bc_i_have_literally/
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I've been doing pretty OK actually, I haven't been calorie counting or restricting and just eating whatever because I've been sick + working a dumb amount of overtime... And I felt OK, I was like I've probably gained weight but not that I can see horrendously and I've been working super hard and not spending money and I've also been unwell so surely it was ok that I've slipped.
Noticed a new stretch mark on my leg after my shower today. Nope. NOPE. FUCK THIS. I've been triggered into fucking ED orbit and I'm so fucking angry at myself. Boo fucking hoo I've had to work double shifts. Boo fucking hoo I got a cold. Boo fucking hoo you can't take on anything extra without thinking "u deserve food" and just going ape and binging out on vegan pizza and ice cream. What the fuck is moderation. And now because I have no self control I have STRETCH MARKS FROM WEIGHT GAIN and I am so done bye.
[Help] What is the best way to prevent a binge?
/u/happy_but_unhappy
Created: Sat Oct 27 16:54:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ryj8z/what_is_the_best_way_to_prevent_a_binge/
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So yeah I can feel one coming on STRONG and this is not happening. I've gained 6lbs in 2 weeks and I've had ENOUGH. Foot down I'm not binging but it's so HARD. Tips?
Just need to loose the weight!!!
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Sat Oct 27 16:45:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ryh0f/just_need_to_loose_the_weight/
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I want to loose some weight 20-30 pounds maybe! But I can’t do it I can’t not eat an entire day no matter how bad I need to and want to no matter how much I hate my body I can’t!!! I need to do it though I need the willpower and self control and determination I WILL DO IT!!!
How fast are y'all losing? I've lost 21lbs in 5 weeks. But I still want to lose 50 more.
/u/Emily_BRrealtor
Created: Sat Oct 27 16:41:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ryg5g/how_fast_are_yall_losing_ive_lost_21lbs_in_5/
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I just want to be my goal weight so bad. All I think about is being skinny. I'm getting married next September and I want to look perfect in the photos. And I want to weight less than when I met him at my wedding I just feel like that would be the ultimate success.
I gained so much weight I have been struggling with health issues. Thank you hypothyroidism and pcos. And I'm finally stable on the right meds, also I had to get my gallbladder and tonsils out in the last year. And I just want to take my life back so bad.
I know you can't tell me exactly what my weight loss will look like but anyone who has lost a bunch of weight can you talk about what you went through.
[Other] Making Halloween treat eating plans NOW so I don't get anxious and give in and eat everything sweet!!!! Wondering if any of you have a plan?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 104| HW 142| GW 95 ]
Created: Sat Oct 27 16:25:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rybqg/making_halloween_treat_eating_plans_now_so_i_dont/
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Restricting really welll again finally but KNOW I will give in for a DAY on Halloween....ughhhh
​
Having work the next day should make it easier not to reallllyyy binge since when I do, I get the feeling of being really hung over and out of it and dead and I can not take a day off right now.
​
​
My plans on pre-purchases of treats so not to eat any additional binge items...
\*Trader Joe's Maple Leaf Cookies (eat as wish) it took me everything not to buy them today.
\*a pack OR 2 which would be four cups Reese's BIG CUP's. which I know is a lot eeeeekkkk
​
​
The day of....
Allow for one breakfast food item (I usually do OMAD)
Eat freely, yet within the normal meal. No extra additions that wouldn't normally be added. "Normal Person" dinner.
​
Indulge in treats I had already purchased for the purpose.
​
​
Wondering what your plans are????
Am I cured or delusional?
/u/TitusPullo7 [25M 5'5" | SW: 205 | CW: 133 | Goal: 8% bf | SD: 7/15/2018]
Created: Sat Oct 27 16:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ry8e2/am_i_cured_or_delusional/
---
I've long since struggled with my weight and have trouble controlling my bingeing.
Anyhow, a few months ago, I decided enough was enough.
Through great difficulty, cut out any and all carbs from my diet.
Did numerous 48, 72 and 96 hour fasts to lose weight.
Finally at a normal weight for the first time since I was 10.
Decided to do another extended fast - a 96 hour one.
Saw *zero* downward movement in the scale.
Reckoned it might have been water weight or sth. But no.
A few days later, still no weight loss. In fact, I had miraculously gained 1.2 lb.
Had been having a really bad day even before this. In a fit of frustration, went to the store and bought 10 liters of ice cream.
The shame I felt when I went to the register felt like the embrace of an old friend.
Came back home and ate until I felt sick.
Next day, felt brain fog and generally felt like shit.
Tried to rationalize with myself that I should eat the ice cream so that my money isn't wasted.
That day, ate over 6 liters of ice cream. Felt like absolute shite both mentally and physically.
My colleague called with a question about a client and it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to resolve the issue. Brain power = dead.
The next day, I finally decided to throw out the remaining ice cream since I was not strong enough to resist if it was in my fridge.
Went back to healthy whole foods again. Had an obscene amount of it, but still.
After seeing how much better I feel when I don't consume garbage, it got a lot easier to resist temptations.
Could cutting out garbage foods and carbs for 3 months have helped stop this 3 day binge turn into something worse?
Am I cured?
No clue.
Debated even posting this, since now all of my other posts on other subs will come under scrutiny by lackwit proles.
However, I was very curious whether or not someone else had the same experience.
[Tip] If you like cheesecake
/u/atinyreverie
Created: Sat Oct 27 16:09:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ry7kw/if_you_like_cheesecake/
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tome, low-fat vanilla yogurt mixed with baby rice cereal tastes and has the texture of cheesecake. And it is delicious. You’re welcome.
$1.88 for Shirataki noodles (7oz) online from a reputable site.
/u/PoorLama [6ft | CW 190 | BMI 25.9 | Weight Lost 10lb | Gender F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 15:36:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxz2r/188_for_shirataki_noodles_7oz_online_from_a/
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https://www.asianfoodgrocer.com/asian-food/noodles/shirataki-noodles/orchids-white-shirataki-noodles
[Help] does this happen to anyone else?
/u/impractically-me
Created: Sat Oct 27 15:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxxq5/does_this_happen_to_anyone_else/
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so after a couple days of restricting below 500 calories, i somewhat binged last night. i was at a party & let myself eat like a normal human. oh my god i feel terrible. i woke up at 4 am this morning with extreme nausea & was up for almost an hour. i didnt get sick so that's good. all day today so far my stomach has been so messed up & it keeps hurting & feeling nauseated. ive also been freezing cold & have had goosebumps all day. does this happen to anyone else? & will it end soon?
[Rant/Rave] You know you got it bad when...
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 15:28:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxwus/you_know_you_got_it_bad_when/
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You blow a guy and the first thought that comes into your head is “how many calories are in cum”
[Rant/Rave] lmao i wonder what the delivery guy thinks
/u/icdcofe
Created: Sat Oct 27 15:24:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxvu1/lmao_i_wonder_what_the_delivery_guy_thinks/
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it's the same guy every time, and on average it's about once every 2 months where i get into a serious funk and order enough food for a family of 4
when i go outside for the first time in ages to get the delivery i'm always in leggings, sneakers, and my massive hoodie
haha fall fashion amirite
[Other] oof
/u/allthatyouforgot
Created: Sat Oct 27 15:00:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxp8q/oof/
---
https://i.redd.it/n99oxasclsu11.png
[Rant/Rave] being broke and lazy stopped me from binging
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8”| CW: 249| BMI: 🐋|20F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:48:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxm2l/being_broke_and_lazy_stopped_me_from_binging/
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so i woke up today, vaguely depressed, and i didn’t have much going on so i thought, hey well, i could go and buy a bunch of food, eat it, and cry about how fat i am this afternoon.
BUT THEN! i remembered that food costs money. so i just let myself “binge” on all my restricting food that i keep in my apartment and it sucked and i stopped halfway through because it didn’t even taste good and i hit about.... ~350 calories after i calculated and now i’m just pissed off that i have 3 shitty food in my house and 0 money. i wish i had 0 shitty food and 3 money!!!
anyways im really tired so i’m gonna eat low cal popcorn and a pint of old halo top that i don’t even like and get even more mad at past me’s money and food choices
Lowest calorie alcohol
/u/skydiver89 [5'4" CW 133 GW 125 UGW 115]
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:45:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxl9l/lowest_calorie_alcohol/
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I'm going through a shit time right now. Like wanna kill myself. I need an alcohol that I can buy at the store that doesn't have a shit ton of calories. Anyone have any suggestions?
[Help] DAE get swollen eyes when they purge?
/u/1caru3 [5'1 | CW: 113 | UGW: 100 | F16]
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:39:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxjip/dae_get_swollen_eyes_when_they_purge/
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i recently started purging and it fucking sucks!! i have no way to end the b/p cycle and it’s ruining my life....
but i mean since i can’t stop it anyways, i was wondering if anyone else’s eyes swell up 2x when they purge? it’s crazy as hell and it doesn’t go away even after sleeping!! i read this post about someone who purges while on a night out and i could never do that shit because it would look like i had an allergic reaction or some shit 😂😂
anyone know how to prevent swollen eyes when purging??
Back on my bullsh!t
/u/ALittleBitChowderNow
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxife/back_on_my_bullsht/
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Hi everyone,
I've been lurking for a few weeks and thought I'd come out of the shadows and introduce myself.
I was born "big boned" but about 10 years ago developed an ED and whittled myself down to a size 4. I started dating a guy who could see right away that my eating behavior was insane, and he coaxed me back to eating more like a normal person. But unfortunately that somehow triggered regular bingeing. Now I'm a size 20.
About three weeks ago, a man came up behind me on the sidewalk and whispered as he passed me, "You fat fuck." Thinking I misheard him I said, "Sorry?" at full voice. This emboldened him and he literally went off on me. "You heard me! You fat fuck! You disgust me! You shouldn't be allowed to exist around children because you're such a horrible role model. You fat, disgusting fuck." And then he just walked away.
I've never been so horrified in my life. But I guess the truth shall set us free. The next day I started restricting. Everything positive about my ED came flooding back, especially the sense that I am giving myself the exact punishment I deserve. And I'm getting socially rewarded for it because I'm losing weight! I love how restricting can feel like self harm and self betterment at the same time.
I purged for the first time in many years last night and I'm having fantasies of getting back to my size 4.
[Discussion] My story...
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:33:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxhyb/my_story/
---
I started my period in the 3rd grade. I always overate in my Elementary years and my highest weight was 150 LB. My doctor believed that because I was overweight my period started sooner. I developed hips and a womanly figure at a young age. I decided that I needed to lose weight, and I did. I lost about 10 pounds in 2 weeks (during thankgiving break). All by myself... Soon my weight got down to around 126 lb in the 5th grade. But I didnt stop, throughout 6-7 grade i got to 117 lb. I'm currently in 8th grade, and I havent weighed myself in about a year but i constantly starve myself. I'm surrounded by girls who havent hit their growth spurt yet and are still so small and tiny. I hate it.... I should be proud I have the body of a woman but I dont...I hope that for however long I live I can be happy. Sometimes I wonder what wouldve happend if I asked for help with weight loss at 10... Maybe I wouldnt be how I am, but I cant change that sadly :(
Fasting and electrolytes?
/u/Imsogabby
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:24:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxfh8/fasting_and_electrolytes/
---
Hey, sorry if this is a dumb question. But I can no longer do restriction because it makes me end up eventually binging. However, I’ve found that I’m not really hungry until I’ve eaten? so I’m planning on just fasting from now on.
I’ve tried fasting before and it was hell because I didn’t realize the importance of electrolytes. However, I can’t seem to find any sources that tell me exactly how much sodium, potassium, and magnesium I’d need for extended fasts?
Also, what do you guys use to get your electrolytes? I’ve gotten so many different recommendations and I don’t really know what’s “right”. I’m trying to be responsible and take care of myself a little bit despite my eating disorder :/
[Rant/Rave] rant
/u/likrot
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:20:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxeh4/rant/
---
i wanna kill myself lmao!!! im such a fat dumbass i keep not eating until late in the day and then binging. this is why i cant lose weight! and ive lost 20 pounds already but people keep telling me i look the same and i cannot
[Discussion] What if you love your ED?
/u/thr0waway124816
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:12:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rxc90/what_if_you_love_your_ed/
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Is it acceptable to talk about that here, or does it constitute “glamorizing EDs” (which the rules prohibit)?
Does anyone know which underweight BMI is dead? I’m thinking like ten but idk
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:03:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rx9v9/does_anyone_know_which_underweight_bmi_is_dead_im/
---
[Rant/Rave] i’ve reached the point where food isn’t fun anymore
/u/dingbiscuit [5'6 | 197 | -6 | 19F | 🍑 naranja]
Created: Sat Oct 27 14:00:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rx90x/ive_reached_the_point_where_food_isnt_fun_anymore/
---
i’ve relapsed pretty hard recently after realizing that i do still have an ED no matter how much i think i’ve recovered (the only thing i’ve recovered from is purging but my body doesn’t let me throw up at all anymore so i don’t know if that’s a Win) which has in turn caused me to be on this restrict for 3 days then binge like hell for a week cycle that sucks
i have finally gotten to the point where nothing is appetizing and i just eat whatever random thing is in my fridge if i’m really hungry
i ordered like $40 of binge food from my favorite chinese restaurant the other night and literally just picked at it and barely ate like 300 calories lol
ah, the spiral of depression
DAE have to share a scale?
/u/allthatyouforgot
Created: Sat Oct 27 13:51:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rx6jl/dae_have_to_share_a_scale/
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like my mom has the only scale in the house and she keeps it in her room so every time I need to use it i have to wait until nobody is upstairs (so they don't ask why I'm in my mom's room) then run to her room, take the scale to my room, strip rly fast, weigh myself, then run it back before anyone comes up
ngl I need my own scale
[Other] Boyf made me food with a list of measured ingredients and I lost it ❤️
/u/k473anderson
Created: Sat Oct 27 13:14:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rww76/boyf_made_me_food_with_a_list_of_measured/
---
I was having a really hard day at work and my partner was at home and wanted to do nice things for me so he made my bed, sent me really lovey texts, and made fancy mac (Kraft Mac n cheese with lots of extras like faux meat, peas, onions, and cumin) WITH A LIST OF MEASURED INGREDIENTS SO I COULD TRACK AND PORTION THE COMFORT FOOD.
I got home from work and saw the list and started bawling. Feeling so thankful for him and wanted to share.
[Discussion] DAE feel convinced they’ve binged even when they haven’t?
/u/absolutecretin
Created: Sat Oct 27 13:14:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rww6d/dae_feel_convinced_theyve_binged_even_when_they/
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Seriously I feel garbage right now.
The past few weeks I’ve been restricting to about 500-700 calories day including going to the gym, and managed to lose 19 lbs.
Today I’ve eaten about 1000 calories (so still under maintenance) but I just feel like absolute shit as if I’ve binged on shit loads of junk food even though I haven’t.
It’s taken me everything I can not just go “fuck it” and keep eating even tho I’m still in a safe zone for calories... doesn’t help that I had to work all day today so couldn’t make the gym :(
[Help] water weight
/u/likrot
Created: Sat Oct 27 13:08:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwudy/water_weight/
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does drinking a lot of water make you put on water weight, or am i totally confused. because i usually drink water to keep my stomach full to make sure i dont eat, and ive been concerned about it
[Help] I just shit my pants
/u/CabbagePatchKid16
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:54:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwqhr/i_just_shit_my_pants/
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Not because of laxatives (technically) but because I chewed a bunch of sugar free gum.
Kill me! I’m going to a party tonight and I need it to stop.
[Other] Squarely in the 120s
/u/ap0cryphal [5’3 | CW 125.6 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:44:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwnov/squarely_in_the_120s/
---
I haven’t been able to maintain under 130 lbs for probably four years now. I was always hovering in the mid-130s, sometimes higher if it was the holidays or vacation time. I finally got to 129 last week, but didn’t believe it because it could creep back so easily. Didn’t trust 128 either. Once I got to 125, I thought my scale must just be going easy on me. But I finally had the chance to weigh myself on a different scale today and — even though I’d already eaten breakfast — 125.6! I can finally believe it!
On a side note, my relationship with food has changed dramatically. I used to be a huge stress eater. Now I just eat enough to not feel faint (usually around 600-800cal a day). I honestly don’t really miss food? Even eating foods that used to be my favorite doesn’t bring me much joy. I honestly don’t know which relationship with food is healthier lol leaning on food to relieve stress wasn’t great...seeing it as just fuel for my body seems more natural, even if other people think it’s disordered lol. Anyone else feel the same?
"have you been gaining weight?"
/u/biblicalirony [5'3 | cw: 174 | gw: 115]
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:43:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwnef/have_you_been_gaining_weight/
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lmao rip time to starve myself again !
[Discussion] Screenshot from a convo my friend and I had about my ED/BMI. I love that he doesn't try to "fix" me. He supports me no matter where I am in my ED/recovery. Almost no one outside of this community uses humor to talk about EDs. Would you be more open about your ED if more people reacted like this?
/u/Luckyfuck_99
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:38:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwlw1/screenshot_from_a_convo_my_friend_and_i_had_about/
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https://i.redd.it/vp0v0s5zvru11.jpg
[Discussion] Screenshot of a convo my friend and I about my ED/BMI. I love that he doesn't try to "fix" me. He supports me no matter where I am in my ED/recovery. Almost no one outside of this community uses humor to talk about EDs. Would you be more open about your ED if more people reacted like this?
/u/Luckyfuck_99
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:25:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwiey/screenshot_of_a_convo_my_friend_and_i_about_my/
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https://i.redd.it/7ij5u7fttru11.jpg
I need to stop eating.
/u/conuretrash [5'4''| 20 F | CW 147 | GW 115| -43 |]
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:25:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwicz/i_need_to_stop_eating/
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I am up 5lbs in a few days, I know mostly water weight. But I can't stop eating. Thursday I ate 4000 cals, yesterday around 1,300 and today so far I'm at 1,700. I am aching for more food my heart rate is so high it's all I can think about but I don't want to eat anymore. These past 2 days I meant to fast but I can't get into the mindset. I feel so depressed/ugly looking at thinspo pics or seeing other posters reaching LW's that are weights I've never expect as a kid. I really, really don't want to eat anything else today. I'm so miserable.
EC stack dosing
/u/dope-iramate [5'4" | SW 158 | CW 115 | GW 100 | 28F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:24:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwhw5/ec_stack_dosing/
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I've been using EC off and on for a bit (aka like 2 years lol) and it seems to just not have a significant affect on appetite anymore, even when I took like 1-2 mo break from the ephedrine.
I consume a lot of caffeine during the day, (like, usually cup of coffee in the am, 200mg caffeine pill a few hours later, sugar free monster or rockstar for lunch) but have stuck to just 1 dose of bronkaid or primatene (whichever one I can find I buy) twice a day. Has anyone taken higher doses of ephedrine and noticed a more robust response? I want to try like maybe 1.5 pills at a time but I'm nervous!
I'm also on wellbutrin, but that does fuck all for my appetite 🤷♀️👍👍👍
Thanks guys!
Why is it so easy to binge eat
/u/Rapudash
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:22:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwhgu/why_is_it_so_easy_to_binge_eat/
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Even if i’m not hungry it’s like I HAVE to, i can’t even distract myself. It makes restricting almost impossible. Ive tried reading zen books to increase my self control but it’s SO difficult.
"Did you lose weight? You look so much better!"
/u/110_percent_bot [5'5"F | CW 139 | HW 170 | LW 120 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Oct 27 12:18:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rwge6/did_you_lose_weight_you_look_so_much_better/
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relatives: "Did you lose weight? You look so much better!"
​
me: (internally panicking) "uh...no...I mean...I've been exercising a bit more, maybe it's that?!"
​
ugh, even though it's a ""compliment"" it makes me feel so much worse because 1) people are NOTICING HOW I LOOK and I should be losing more weight to look better 2) when i inevitably regain the weight, I'll go back to looking worse?! Ugh, why would you even comment on someone's weight?! Also lol "exercising more" little do they know I've stopped running because I'm worried about straining my heart since I EC stack :((((
[Rant/Rave] Recovery is a lovely thing until you ask out the person you're recovering with
/u/anon04826
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:53:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rw981/recovery_is_a_lovely_thing_until_you_ask_out_the/
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I don't even know what to do. I've been recovering for about a month and a half with the boy mentioned in my previous post, and I thought I should just shoot my shot. It went something like this;
I was helping him study for a test, and eventually I just put down his notes on the table, looked him dead in the eye, and started laughing hysterically. For context; I laugh, really, really hard when I'm about to just burst into tears. I abruptly stopped my laughter and asked him if he was intrested on going on a date with me.
"What?" It was already going fucking horribly. I repeated what I said.
"Are you asking me out?" I responded with a yes.
and then cried harder than I ever have in my fucking years of living. No week long binge, no amount of weight gain after fasting forever, no forced dinner could ever come close to making me cry as much as I did then.
And then I realized how fucked up what I did was. We weren't recovered. I trapped him in a corner where if he said no, he would be terrified of me relasping. He put his hand on my shoulder and said,
"Do you need an answer now?" He later sent me a long paragraph saying how much he cared about me, and how he just thought he wasn't the right person for me. And I'm trying so, so hard to not attach it to my weight. But it isn't working.
I can't even imagine the amount of guilt he would feel if I relaped. It's just not fair to him. I don't know if I want to eat everything or starve to death. I just don't know.
[Discussion] Below is a convo with my friend/the only person I talk to about my ED. I love that he doesn't try to "fix" me and leaves recovery up to me. It's so rare that someone outside of this community uses humor when talking about EDs. Would you be more open about your ED if more people reacted like this?
/u/Luckyfuck_99
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rw622/below_is_a_convo_with_my_friendthe_only_person_i/
---
https://i.redd.it/zsstdzm1mru11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Drunk and crying
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:36:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rw45l/drunk_and_crying/
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I hate this. I hate what my ED makes me do. I hate that I am sad so I want to eat. I’m so fat. I hate myself
[Rant/Rave] Y'all...
/u/CreativeCondition
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rw42y/yall/
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Tic tacs are two calories each. I have eaten 159 calories worth of tic tacs today. I'm pretty sure I've burnt them off walking around, but still. Wtaf. O_o
Shows my poor impulse control, eh?
[Other] I mean...👀
/u/anniehila
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:31:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rw2lr/i_mean/
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https://i.redd.it/yjbcibj0kru11.jpg
[Discussion] Has anyone tried the ABC diet ? Any oppinions about it ?
/u/melonpls
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:25:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rw12j/has_anyone_tried_the_abc_diet_any_oppinions_about/
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BMI 19.8 :D
/u/coffeehearts [5'5" | CW 120.9 | GW 116 | BMI 20.1 | F(26)]
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:21:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvzli/bmi_198_d/
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Ahhh! I'm so happy! I finally reached BMI 19.8! My bf even commented on how skinny I looked this morning. I haven't been this happy with my progress in ages!! I can't stop checking cos I don't even believe it 😭
I was stuck around 120-123 for a solid month and dropped to 118.8 this morning 🙏🏻
Recently I found some old pics from when I used to be like 170+, the difference is staggering. I'll never be done counting calories but holy shit I'm getting into gw territory!
On mobile so I can't update flair and such, sorry!
Holy fuck, you guys. I don't want to do this anymore.
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [5'3.5 | 101.6 | 17.7 | 31F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:17:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvym8/holy_fuck_you_guys_i_dont_want_to_do_this_anymore/
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https://i.redd.it/1cvtsvxdgru11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I’m so happy I got the stomach flu
/u/gldedbttrfly [5'5 | CW 128 | GW 110]
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:15:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvxx4/im_so_happy_i_got_the_stomach_flu/
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Honestly it wasn’t that bad considering I got down to 122!! I could never make it below 124/5 and I’d always just bounce back to 130.
Any way on keeping this weight loss? I’m scared to eat so I don’t gain everything back.
[Discussion] I only see people who are either really skinny or really fat
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:14:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvxeg/i_only_see_people_who_are_either_really_skinny_or/
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I was at a concert last night. I dressed pretty casual, jeans, flip flops, a non fitted t shirt. I look very average as far as weight. Slim but not skinny.
As we were waiting on our friends I was watching people walk in. My eyes completely jumped over average looking body shapes.
They focused on girls who walked by who were skinny, their tiny legs and tiny arms and tiny shoulders, looking amazing in whatever they wore.
Or on the very large people. Who looked unkept no matter what they wore. A very large girl walked by in cut off shorts, a bra, and a see through shirt. I looked at my husband and asked why I worry about dressing like that and looking bad when these girls clearly didn't give a shit and I could pull it off.
I only seem to see people who I know have issues with food or diet.
Even though if I was walking by myself, my eyes would pass right over me.
[Other] I was laughing to myself thinking about this
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:05:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvunh/i_was_laughing_to_myself_thinking_about_this/
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Me: I don’t have an eating disorder because I’m not skinny
Also me: *drunkenly tries to make myself vomit for over an hour while sobbing in the dark behind a tree at 3am because I’m fat and want to die*
✌🏻😎✌🏻
Dealing with my boss
/u/Ell3m3n0h
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:02:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvttp/dealing_with_my_boss/
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Hey everyone - first post here but I've been lurking for a while.
In the last year or so I've lost about 30lbs and got to a BMI of 19.9. I've been at my job for about 3 years so everyone saw the drop in weight and a LOT of people commented on how "tiny" I was now.
At first I kinda liked the attention and concern. As a tall chick (almost 5'10) it's not often that I get called "tiny". At a certain point though, it started to get annoying. I got comments like "you used to be chubby", "now you're too skinny" (bitch I'm at a healthy BMI), and so much crap about my eating habits. First of all, I don't need people calling me chubby (even if it's my past weight and I was a whale) and second of all, I'm NOT too skinny, I want to lose more weight, and I don't need to scrutinizing my lack of lunch and pressure for me to eat.
The worst part is my boss. He's the one that keeps saying I was "chubby" and Every. Single. Time. I see him he comments on me not eating lunch. I gained back 5lbs recently due to stress eating and I noticed that he gives me these really scrutinizing once-overs when he sees me like he's trying to figure out if I've gained or lost weight. He grosses me out but it also makes me feel more panicked about my weight. I'm terrified of him commenting about me gaining weight and god forbid if he ever calls me chubby now.
So now I'm in this stress-binge/restriction cycle and I keep gaining/losing the same 5lbs. I hate it and I hate the scrutiny and I just want to quit my job so I can restrict better.
Sorry for the rant.. I just feel exhausted.
Guys, can happily announce im no longer obese!
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Sat Oct 27 11:02:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvtrs/guys_can_happily_announce_im_no_longer_obese/
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Im officially in the overweight range for my bmi and I am buzzing
First time I'll be saying Im happy to be overweight! :D
[Help] How do I fast for long periods of time if My body just doesn’t want to?
/u/Emanuel179
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:41:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvno4/how_do_i_fast_for_long_periods_of_time_if_my_body/
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I can do OMAD easily enough, but always over eat in my one meal. I need to go whole days, but I just get, well. Too fucking hungry. I’ll take any suggestions at all
[Goal] Holy shit guys I am down from 135lbs to 112.6lbs as of this morning!!!🙈 My goal weight is 110lbs so I’m so close! I hope the ED gods favor all you lovelies today! ☀️
/u/beeeleave [5’4 | 114lbs |19.7bmi |female]
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:40:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvng9/holy_shit_guys_i_am_down_from_135lbs_to_1126lbs/
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[Tip] Found an amazing low cal banana bread and it tastes the same as normal!!
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 108 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:39:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvn2f/found_an_amazing_low_cal_banana_bread_and_it/
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https://i.redd.it/o2nxepvsaru11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] im stuck
/u/likrot
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvi4y/im_stuck/
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im stuck between 140 and 145. i gained four pounds last week out of nowhere. i feel like nothing is working. im hopeless.
[Rant/Rave] So happy and can't share it anywhere else!
/u/notamain9
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:19:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvhkt/so_happy_and_cant_share_it_anywhere_else/
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Ok, so tw to those using substances to lose weight......
​
​
​
​
And right off the bat **I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS TO ANYONE ELSE,** this medication can have some serious side effects!!!!
Anyways, just this week I started on Topamax and have already lost 4.5lbs!!!! I am at a higher BMI so that's not much in the long run of things but still fucking exciting! Add to that it helps level out my bipolar depressive mood swings and I am just on cloud 9 right now! I think that's why it works so well for me; it suppresses my appetite a little so that I can do OMAD and lifts my mood so that when I do eat I'm not thinking "I might as well binge because nothing will ever change". This drug totally works for me and I'm happy I made the choice to get back on it!
BTW: I was prescribed it a few years back for migraines (which it also worked wonders for) so I already knew how it interacted with me. Again, it can have some very major side effects so don't go script shopping without seriously discussing it with your dr.
Trying to do it healthy
/u/Ana2bThin
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:16:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvgug/trying_to_do_it_healthy/
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So I got a low calorie cook book to try and lose weight better than normal... 400-525cals per serving!!!!! WTF. That's not low calorie unless you're meant to share it across the whole day!
[Discussion] Calories or Carbs??
/u/johanna0318
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvgmd/calories_or_carbs/
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So I totally believe in cico. BUTTTTT, does anyone think that if I continue with super low calories and below 20g carbs I'll lose weight faster??
Thoughts opinions?? I should be able to hit my first goal by January IF I can keep my stupid binge eating under control.... But maybe I could hit my UGW by my birthday in March if I cut carbs too 🤷🏼♀️
[Discussion] DAE hate 'healthy' food like fruit or veg but LOVE the taste of artifical flavouring?
/u/PartyTimeSexyDisco [monster zero lesbian | 25F | europe]
Created: Sat Oct 27 10:04:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rvdf5/dae_hate_healthy_food_like_fruit_or_veg_but_love/
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I'm a wayyy picky eater/have ARFID and I HATE the taste and texture of like, the vast majority of fruit and veggies, but I super love junk food and chemical tasting shit. Please tell me I'm not the only person who loves the fake lemon cold medicine flavour (which they also use for monster ultra citron apparently lol)?? D:
[Goal] Multiple birds with one stone
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Sat Oct 27 09:48:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rv8xz/multiple_birds_with_one_stone/
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I’m done with being fat. I’ve been complaining about it for years and even when I try to eat healthy and exercise I may or may not see changes, or maybe not as quickly as I want.
I’ve also been having a lot of financial problems (broke college kid with a job, not a lot of support from my family because they’re also poor). And lately I’ve been binge eating due to stress, I guess. Honestly I don’t know why it just seems like every time I swear to do better I find myself in a McDonald’s drive thru.
So here I am, a year from graduation, overweight, hate the way I look and feel, and I never have any money and the only other thing I can cut out is food. So I realized that if I fast for as long as I can stand it(with maybe an iced coffee or alcoholic drink here and there) I could be at my goal weight by the end of the year and have saved a bunch of money. Problems solved.
So today is day one. I’m 185 lbs, 5’1”. My goal by the end of the year is at least 150, if not lower.
[Rant/Rave] I just wanna be tiny but I'll always be huge and I hate it.
/u/wristsPlz
Created: Sat Oct 27 09:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rv75m/i_just_wanna_be_tiny_but_ill_always_be_huge_and_i/
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I'm 5'11". I was overweight as a kid but then a very middle of healthy bmi from my early teens onwards. But I'm so big and so much taller than I want to be. I see shorter girls and wish I could be small like them, and then I wouldn't even need to be skinny. But as it is I have to get thin because I just crave being small and that's the only way to do it. And even if/when I do I'll still be huge. I have nobody to rant to about this but had to say it somewhere. I want to look like a fairy but I look like a giant. Aaaah.
Calorie restriction but still gaining?
/u/MightSeeHell
Created: Sat Oct 27 09:25:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rv2bp/calorie_restriction_but_still_gaining/
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I've been restricting my calories for 4 days and i have already put on 3 lbs. How/why is this and how do i stop it? Every other time i have restricted, it's been losing weight, not gaining.
[Discussion] my appetite is a beast
/u/kalianda
Created: Sat Oct 27 09:08:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ruxrl/my_appetite_is_a_beast/
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I'm struggling to keep the weight off when I lose, and I think it's because my appetite increases exponentially below BMI 22-23. I feel like my subconscious wants me to stay at BMI 22-23 and my appetite just gets more and more monstrous when I drop below that...it starts out feeling like something I can conquer with willpower and I feel like a warrior princess conquering my hunger.... but my appetite grows and grows with each pound lost, eventually it's more like machine gun vs. warrior princess and I have no chance. then I break and binge and end up close to where I started.
anyone else struggling with the same thing? is there a solution? I don't think my goal weight should be that impossible...I was picturing BMI 19 or 20 for myself (so, still in the "healthy" range, not underweight)
PS. I can't calorie count because numbers are the most triggering thing for my eating disorder and I'm trying hard to recover...limiting food types or portion sizes or meal times is not triggering for me. I lost 10 pounds by limiting portion sizes. then hunger got to me and I gained back 6.5 of it in a week-long binge.
Anyone else have/had lines they said they wouldn’t cross and then did?
/u/GohanCake [5’1” | CW: 92 | GW: 86 | 27F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 09:06:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rux7b/anyone_else_havehad_lines_they_said_they_wouldnt/
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So I’ve been on the worst binge and purge cycle of my life in the past week and as I was staring into the bowels of the porcelain throne, I had to muse that I never thought I would find myself here. Let’s rewind to when I was 14 or 15 and a fledging EDer. My mother is a mental health professional and she had many academic texts about eating disorders that I would pick through. I read all the negative aspects of bulimia and vowed to never purge and only restrict to lose weight.
Now it’s been over 10 years and I purge almost every day. It doesn’t matter if I binged or not, the mere feeling of “full” will make me feel ill and I’ll find myself in the bathroom forcing out everything. I’m sure my teeth are a mess and that everyone can hear me when I do it in a restaurant bathroom, but I can’t help myself and the urge/compulsion is so strong I feel like I’ll go crazy if I don’t do it.
It’s crazy that a behavior I strongly was against at the beginning of this disorder has now become my norm. I now have new lines I don’t want to cross, such as not using ECA stacks or laxatives. But a part of me wonders how long that will last.
Anyone else have had this experience?
[Other] I wonder what the people at the grocery store think of me. Some days I go in there and walk around for hours reading all the labels, then leave with just seltzer water. Other days I’m in and out in 5 mins with a cart full of junk food.
/u/lizbites
Created: Sat Oct 27 08:29:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9runi8/i_wonder_what_the_people_at_the_grocery_store/
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[Discussion] Why is r/TrueThinspo so dead?
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:118 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 08:22:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rulqs/why_is_rtruethinspo_so_dead/
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I’d love to see more posts constantly filling my feed but I think it was last active 2 years ago? Do y’all like to use thinspo? Why or why not?
[Discussion] There Crimes or Grindelwald
/u/gayishfish
Created: Sat Oct 27 07:55:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ruevp/there_crimes_or_grindelwald/
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Is anyone else looking forward to the new Fantastic Beasts movie as major thinspo?? Almost the entire cast is sooo skinny and I just love it. 🤐 It's really probably pretty pathetic, but I think about how actors look portraying certain characters a lot and it kinda really helps me in reaching my daily goals (sometimes). I'm probably just dumb/fantasizing. Anyone relate?
[Help] Please help over. 18 mom making me go ip
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 07:28:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ru8q7/please_help_over_18_mom_making_me_go_ip/
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Please help me my mom wants me to go ip and she says that she's taking me out of college this weekend and taking me home until January when our insurance comes back and she'll put me in treatment. She wants me to go ip or residential.
I'm 20 years old and in the US. I'm not underweight. I purge and she knows but it's only like 3 times a week. I am past the point where I can withdraw from my college courses without getting WFs and tanking my grades. She wants me to not come back next semester either and I'm losing my mind because theres no way I'll graduate even close to on time because of the pathways for my degree program. I love my mom and don't want to hurt our relationship but I know that recovery is not going to stick right now and putting me in treatment will probably make my depression/suicidal ideation worse but if I talk about that she'll be even more determined to commit me. I also really dont want to waste my parents' money on this because I know ip/php wont help me right now because I'll just go back to how I was once I'm out. I cant make them spend 30,000 a month on me just to have me waste it but I know 100% that I can't keep it up. I just can't. And she wants me to transfer once im out to a nearby university (they live 5 hours away) which has instate tuition more than triple what im getting now. I'm getting a free ride where I am and I have a job. Any advice? Anyone else know about ip costs with insurance? Can I be forced in? Last time I weighed I was 95 pounds but I go between that and 98 which is well over underweight.
[Rant/Rave] I‘m a fucking idiot 🙃
/u/Kaffeefee
Created: Sat Oct 27 06:53:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ru0vu/im_a_fucking_idiot/
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I originally wanted to post this to r/1200isplenty, but I can do without their unsolicited advice. Besides, I‘m sure you guys will understand my frustration even better.
I calculated my calories yesterday and was ECSTATIC to see that I‘ll have reached my goal weight by Christmas with an okay deficit (as in: I wouldn‘t even have to starve myself). I live in a country that uses kg, not pounds, and forgot that 1 pound doesn‘t equal 1kg, so I‘ll have to cut out ~7000 calories rather than what I thought were 3500/kg. Like, I’ve known this forever. Whyyy did I forget about it yesterday?! My heart is crushed. Could be from all the smoking to suppress my appetite, but still.
I might as well binge on all the early Christmas chocolate now, because I‘ll still be chubby in two months anyway. Just kidding, I won‘t binge, but will probably restrict my calorie intake to an absurdly low amount haha #lovinglife
DAE want to starve to death?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 99 | GW: 88]
Created: Sat Oct 27 06:52:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ru0rl/dae_want_to_starve_to_death/
---
I want to be skinny because I like it, but also, Im very depressed and when Im feeling the worst I just want anorexia to kill me.
DAE feel the same?
[Rant/Rave] I hate being sick
/u/boneylo [5'7" | 24F | CW:139.2 | SW:173.6 | BMI:22.0 ]
Created: Sat Oct 27 06:24:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtv9h/i_hate_being_sick/
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I’ve been sick for weeks. Eating completely like shit and off track because I’ve been too tired to do shit all. Haven’t been weighing myself. Haven’t been planning my meals or any food at all. And my doctor just put me on a medication for a week that has the potential to make me puff up like a balloon. I was so excited to show off a cute outfit for Halloween weekend for the first time since some weight loss and instead I feel so bloated. It’s likely I am not actually that bad if at all, but I just feel like shit. And to top it off I got my period so add on extra bloating and cravings and cramps now too.
I can’t wait to be better, I’m so sick of this. Like there’s a freedom that comes with feeling like such shit that I just eat and do whatever I want. But mostly I’m just terrified at the end of every day that suddenly tomorrow my weight will start flying up again and I’ll be back where I started over a year ago and I won’t be able to stop. I just want to be back on track and feeling good about myself and taking care of myself again.
UGH
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 27 06:13:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtt13/stupid_questions_saturday_october_27_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 27, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! October 27, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 27 06:09:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtsdh/daily_food_diary_october_27_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 27, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] my scale taunted me this morning
/u/manfromanother-place [5’1.75 | CW:100 | GW: 95 | 18.4]
Created: Sat Oct 27 06:08:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rts1u/my_scale_taunted_me_this_morning/
---
step on the scale, see 95.5... *what the fuck!?!?!!??*
step on the scale again, see 99 this time... :(
i really hoped i had somehow managed to lose 4 pounds overnight. oh well, at least i got a glimpse of how i'll feel when i'm actually 95!
Sobbing over a goddamned muffin (it's blueberry tho but still...)
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 97ish | F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 05:49:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtomq/sobbing_over_a_goddamned_muffin_its_blueberry_tho/
---
I'm so dumb, seriously..
I wanted a fancy coffee this morning (Dunkin Donuts rather than home brewed. Hey, I live a simple life lol) so I went to grab one and there staring at me through the glass was a blueberry muffin. Not just any blueberry muffin, but one of those HUGE blueberry muffins. The size of a grapefruit. With that perfect crystallized sugar on top. And you know it tastes fucking magical. Every time I've gone in for *years* I have debated the choice to just ignore the muffin or just get the muffin. I never get it. It never stops taunting me.
I bought the muffin this morning. I ate over my TDEE yesterday for only the 3rd time in three months so wtf am I doing buying this muffin today?? I feel like the muffin will trigger an all day binge..it's almost 500 calories. I panic and throw the muffin in the trash. And now I'm quietly sobbing because I am so fucking tired of being like this. I'm simultaneously repulsed at my lack of control yet I'm entertaining thoughts of digging it out of the trash and eating it.
Why can't I just east the fucking muffin without getting that whole WELL I'M FAT AGAIN NOW SO LET'S JUST EAT ALLLLLL THE FOOD AND WATCH THE WORLD BURN. Rational me KNOWS that yes, 500 cals for one muffin is a lot but I can just eat lower cal stuff for the rest of the day or to exercise and burn it off. It's not that big of a deal. Irrational me is a cunt though, and much more persistent than rational me.
This is going to be such a fun weekend. 😬😐😑
[Help] Is it a good idea to fast while in your period ?
/u/wordsmithem
Created: Sat Oct 27 05:35:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtm2c/is_it_a_good_idea_to_fast_while_in_your_period/
---
I wants to fast from this Sunday (tomorrow) to next Sunday but it’s Saturday morning and I just started. Should I wait until next week? Or should I be fine ?
Skinny mother fat daughter
/u/dfg658
Created: Sat Oct 27 05:14:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtihr/skinny_mother_fat_daughter/
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So I was just thinking that many of my insecurities came from the fact that my mother was always so small and very skinny, always well dressed and looked nice. I had insulin resistance and pcos as a kid and couldnt get skinny even if I ate 500 calories for months. I'd still be skinny fat and when I finally started eating again I'd be overweight again. I was growing(11-14 yrs old) and needed the calories, but couldn't have them without being fat. This never ending cycle gave me depression and disordered eating. It all feels so unfair. Now I'm 21 but still feel like trash when I'm overweight.
[Rant/Rave] Too scared to purge.
/u/ellatheghost
Created: Sat Oct 27 04:56:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtfhy/too_scared_to_purge/
---
I crave being thin so bad, but I can't fast or go without eating for long because 1. My family will easily notice, and 2. I have low iron levels and already get very dizzy and tired without eating super regularly. I can handle those feelings when I'm not doing anything, but I'm in HS (soon, University) and I'm starting a job soon, so I just can't risk fainting. So, I feel like purging is one of the only methods I could use... But- I'm so scared. I hate the feeling of vomiting and I feel like the moment I purge the first time I've lost some part of me and it's the point of no return. I just wish all of this was easy. Obviously it's not though. Anyway sorry, this is very complainy. Any words of advice or comfort? :") xx
[Help] Kpop thinspo?
/u/audreyhepburnwho [no binge October~ Halloween goal 68kg cw 73kg]
Created: Sat Oct 27 04:41:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtd24/kpop_thinspo/
---
Recently someone made a post about Blackpink's practice videos and since then I've been obsessively watching their stuff. I don't know any other similar kpop girls/girlgroups can anyone recommend something? I want to get to know more kpop girls that are just as thinspo-y but don't know where to start
(VENT) It took me so long to “discover” C/S-ing, now I wish I didn’t. 🙃
/u/stateoflimerence
Created: Sat Oct 27 04:38:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtcoh/vent_it_took_me_so_long_to_discover_csing_now_i/
---
I don’t know why it took me this long to discover not actually swallowing.
Long story short, I’m a gay male super into fitness (weight lifting, vinyasa yoga), former fat kid. Lost 100lbs, was basically anorexic during my weight loss journey, I got down to a BMI of 18 for a boy my height and weight. Anyways, realized being anorexic hindered my fitness (can’t really lift or do intense yoga when you’re lit about to pass lol). That then became bulimia.
Within the pass couple of weeks “discovered” C/S-ing, did intense research.
I feel like I’ve opened a new can of worms. I realize I just like the taste and I’m satisfied not actually swallowing. Now I don’t even want to actually eat anymore because I can just C/S anything. (I’ll have something high fiber and low cal post C/S-omg bc stomach acid) I don’t know how other people are talking about gaining while C/S-ing, I’m so meticulous about it. Sigh, bye bye muscles.
[Discussion] Real talk, when was the last time you had your period?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 04:25:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rtai2/real_talk_when_was_the_last_time_you_had_your/
---
Mine was 7 months ago. Don't expect it to come any time soon, either.
[Discussion] Real talk, when was the last time you had your period?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 04:24:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rta9y/real_talk_when_was_the_last_time_you_had_your/
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7 months ago for me.
*Processing gif 3s1jmcprfpu11...*
​
​
Long time lurker and I need support
/u/Poopsmasherthrowaway
Created: Sat Oct 27 04:17:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rt9bz/long_time_lurker_and_i_need_support/
---
I binged last night and here's a list of everything. I started of good with a lentil cake, cottage cheese, and then I had a weight watchers soup. And then I broke and had a small chocolate bar, then another one. Then I went to the grocery store and..im so embarrassed. I ate Doritos, nacho cheese, 3 of these super calorie dense marzipan treats, a Swedish meat pie, cheese and crackers, a raspberry vanilla cream pastry, another chocolate bar. I'm so fucking sick waking up this morning and I have to move today. I was restricting to a fucking t this month and had only one planned binge day and then last night happened and now I'm terrified that I'm going to spiral and start binging every day until I'm a fatter cow than I am now. I'm not even anywhere near my goal weight and I hate myself. I live in Sweden and everyone is so stylish and skinny and perfect and tall. My fat American ass can't even compare to them even if I made it to their range. I'm doomed and I'm a failure. My period is due in a couple of days and I feel like the binge had something to do with that but the fact that I could just shut my fat fucking face a and say no makes me more depressed than ever. I just want to be in control of the fat hole in my facr and I can't even do that right.
Will it get better? Did i fuck up preogree comoletely? I must have binged over 3k cals. I can't handle weighing myself until the 1st. I'm so afraid guys, please tell me I won't be a fat whale forever.
To fat to look nice
/u/Ana2bThin
Created: Sat Oct 27 04:10:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rt81p/to_fat_to_look_nice/
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Just tried to get a nice dress... invited out by a gorgeous guy this Thursday into town and want to make the right impression. I want to feel sexy. But I look huge, nothing looks nice. Came away with nothing to wear 😭
I wish I could just cut this fat away quicker.
Restarted strict diet today but even that will take a long time to lose the 10kgs (23lbs) I NEED to lose. 😭
Why can't I be happy being this size- that's because it's so fat!!!
[Help] Body issues or depression causing my life long urge to exist without a physical form?
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Sat Oct 27 03:42:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rt3h6/body_issues_or_depression_causing_my_life_long/
---
This may sound crazy, but I think about it every time I leave the house or walk past something reflective. I don't want a body. I don't necessarily want to be dead, just to have sentience and thought for 100 years without having to interact with the world outside my partner and the occasional dog. To "float" out of my bed, if I really had to sleep, and see the world without the constraints of my body. I'm not morbidly obese, or even healthy, so I'm not phsyically unable to use my body how I'd like. I'm just exhausted of being demanded to talk, to smile, to keep on what feels like a straightjacket in my body.
Does anyone else with body issues feel anything similar, or know what this may be? I haven't mentioned it to a professional because I've had friends sectioned for less and the thought of that level of a lack of autonomy kills me.
Thanks.
[Rant/Rave] 10/10 Dieting Tip Would Recommend /s
/u/fastuntilitlasts
Created: Sat Oct 27 03:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rsy34/1010_dieting_tip_would_recommend_s/
---
I’ve been spending money like water the past couple of days on Depop and Poshmark on shit that doesn’t even fit. I’m usually pretty reasonable with money, so I was wondering to myself why the sudden shopping spree...
OH WAIT
HAHA
YOUR BOYFRIEND JUST EMOTIONALLY CHEATED ON YOU A WEEK AGO.
10/10 appetite suppressant, nothing like trying to holding back tears in class, getting 0 hours of sleep a night, and waves of nausea to really KILL that pesky appetite. Can’t say about the shopping side effect though, but that may be due to the complete and total lack of friends preexisting condition.
/endrant
[Rant/Rave] There's this really annoying girl I know
/u/icdcofe
Created: Sat Oct 27 02:19:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rsqcp/theres_this_really_annoying_girl_i_know/
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I'll straight up admit that I don't like this girl, which pains me a little because I generally try to like everyone I meet, so I know my opinion and perception of her is probably skewed negatively. But this girl--ugh. She has an annoying voice (shrill, unpleasant, and it doesn't help that's she's ALWAYS yelling about SOMETHING so damn insignificant), has a "demanding/threatening" attitude towards everyone, she sounds really rude when she talks to other people, is REALLY nosy into other people's business, and she's also CONSTANTLY pushing her referral codes on people so that she can get free food or whatever...ok...
But here's the best part though: I'm the only one who feels this way about her. Lmao. Everyone else thinks she's just "that way". I don't know... she regularly gets called attractive (I REALLY don't think so, but that's not completely relevant here), but she IS one thing: skinny. thigh gap skinny. goal weight skinny.
Maybe this is a jealous rant. I don't know. Totally possible.
But maybe if I'm skinny, I too, can get a free pass at being the annoying bitch I already am.
Fuck...
[Rant/Rave] I thought I ate with moderate portions, then I got to my highest weight ever...
/u/queenofbo0ks
Created: Sat Oct 27 01:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rsn7n/i_thought_i_ate_with_moderate_portions_then_i_got/
---
A while ago I posted about being anxious about going on a holiday. I used to stuff myself with so much food and I didn't want that to happen. I also didn't want my family to question my eating habits so I tried to eat normally.
It was so hard
I ate quite a healthy breakfast, lots of egg bc that fills me up.
I didn't always eat lunch, but when I did it would be a salad.
My dinner started with a salad to fill me up and then a bit of other delicious food.
I thought I did okay, I thought I moderated my intake in such a way my weightgaib wouldn't be too bad. I drank only 1 or 2 cocktails a day, the rest was tea. I swam laps every day in the pool (if the weather let me).
Yesterday I got home from my flight back and weighed myself. 69 fucking kilo's!! Last time I weighed myself I was 65!! Fucking hell!
I know the bloating of the flight and food added a bit, but I never expected to weigh this much. I have NEVER weighed this much in my entire life.
I feel like a fucking whale right now and I'm planning on restricting hard again. This weekend I'll slowly start eating less and from monday on I'll be back to restricting to 800-1000 a day. Maybe less if my body allows it.
Fuck this shit, I wish I hadn't eaten anything
[Rant/Rave] I’m the meanest person I know
/u/Snowbae
Created: Sat Oct 27 01:36:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rsjrt/im_the_meanest_person_i_know/
---
I would never ever even think about saying the things I think about myself to another person. Last night I could not stop thinking about how I am a fat cunt and how much I hate myself. Honestly I would never even think about saying that to someone else, but I’m very happy saying it to myself
Mom says I look bigger than i am
/u/Bitchmcmuffin
Created: Sat Oct 27 01:31:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rsit6/mom_says_i_look_bigger_than_i_am/
---
My mom usually isn't that big of an ass when it comes to my weight, she does not coomment very often on mine, but recently I told her that some dumb sales woman that came to my school to let the students try on waitressing Outfits cause they are required for class thought that I was 3 sizes larger than I actually am in pants. My mom said that I actually look larger than I am, because of my broad shoulders I assume (I always wear really baggy clothes). And on saturday I wanted to by a Jacket in size 34/36 (which generally speaking is a small in my Country), she did not see me trying it on just holding it to purchase it and said that I should take a bigger size because she and I are the same upper body size and she wears Size 38 (which is like a smallish Medium ). The jacket fits perfefectly and it is not thight at all...
I am very tall (5'10) and she is an inch taller than me. (I think many people assume taller,slim girls wear bigger sizes because of their height??)
Also, my boobs are really big
So anyways, I am sorry but I just really wanted to share this and I can't talk with anyone in real life because they would judge :/ Thank you for Reading
I binged and I hate myself. what’s new.
/u/dietcoal
Created: Sat Oct 27 01:11:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rsfmm/i_binged_and_i_hate_myself_whats_new/
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i did it. I binged today.
and i’m so pissed because I seem to loooove to do these once a week. and then I restrict and I still manage to lose weight so I don’t ever feel punished for binging.
but I’m so angry at myself and fucking over this stupid cycle and i’m just upset and angry at myself and i’m so tired of all of this darkness hanging over me. i just wish to be normal. inside and out.
[Discussion] Anyone else know that if they wake up with hunger pangs that the previous day was a success?
/u/karrierpigeon
Created: Sat Oct 27 00:54:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rscmx/anyone_else_know_that_if_they_wake_up_with_hunger/
---
[Rant/Rave] holy shit woosh!
/u/put_thelotion [179cm | CW: 78kg | GW: 55kg |20F]
Created: Sat Oct 27 00:50:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rsbux/holy_shit_woosh/
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to start off, I had never really believed in those fabled wooshes of like, 5kg/10lbs before. it just didn't seem reasonable to me. but y'all. YALL. I lost 4.5 KG IN LESS THAN FOUR DAYS. thats like. 10 lbs down in LESS THAN FOUR DAYS.
this is the best fucking day of my life, I'm addicted to watching the number on the scale get smaller and smaller
heavy restriction side effects?
/u/cricketzzz
Created: Sat Oct 27 00:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rs8ys/heavy_restriction_side_effects/
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how do you guys deal with the side effects of heavy restriction? by which i mean 400-600 calories a day. somedays i wake up and my heart is beating so fast and so heavy it feels like it could drop out of my chest. i try to get up and my legs are weak like jelly and my entire body starts shaking. but i don't want to eat.
help?
[Help] I HOP with grandma?
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Sat Oct 27 00:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rs3vv/i_hop_with_grandma/
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So can somebody suggest something at I HOP that has relatively normal amount of calories? Do they even serve salads for breakfast? We're supposed go have breakfast there in the morning and I'm stressing. I don't want to be rude and say no because we never see her.
Is ED Instagram or Twitter still a thing?
/u/Firebug__
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:52:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rs1wd/is_ed_instagram_or_twitter_still_a_thing/
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Back at the start of my ED I had an ED Twitter with like 5k followers lol. Deleted it in 2014 due to a short lived recovery. I never had an ED insta but I’m sure it was a thing at some point (not talking about recovery accounts obvi)
I wonder if anyone on here followed me.. or if you you remember big accounts like skinnylove123 skinnyanorexic battlingbulimia (I’m surprised I remember them too)
Is it still a thing? Any of you on either? Or is reddit the last place to vent freely?
gave up my dog today.
/u/zeneith [5'7 | CW 147.7 | BMI 22.6 | SW 211.6| UGW 110]
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:51:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rs1n5/gave_up_my_dog_today/
---
i feel like shit.
[Rant/Rave] Update on Toothpick guy
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rs19b/update_on_toothpick_guy/
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So... y'all are like my best friends tbh. I wanted to share this with you.
I was with Toothpick guy today (he isn't overly skinny, he just called me a toothpick once). Was supposed to be a date. He... friendzoned me. I want to cry but I'm numb. He cried a lot while telling me his reasons and I didn't let a single tear fall. Because I just knew. I just knew he wouldn't like me. I wished he did, but deep down I knew he wouldn't. And that's okay. I'm okay. I'm always okay... right?
I want to be so small and skinny that everyone wants to protect me tbh. I want to stop being the "mom friend" or the "tall friend". I want someone to take care of me. And now I feel like I have to take care if him too. Which is okay, I like taking care of people... but can't someone take care of me for once?
Anyways, I binged today. I hate myself a lot, I want to purge (I've never done it but I want to) and I just really wanna die. I feel restriction phase coming. I know I'm gonna start restricting real hard tomorrow. And... I feel nothing. Depression hit me hard like 3 days ago when I just... I just knew he wouldn't like me. So now I'm gonna binge on some stuff and tomorrow is fasting day. Yay. I hate this. I hate myself. I want this to stop but I also want to keep going and die. God, I just wish I was dead. I'm not gonna kill myself, but damn.
[Discussion] Favorite condiments?
/u/lattephobia
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:42:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rs00w/favorite_condiments/
---
I'm weak for obnoxiously strong flavors. Sweet soy, fish sauce, and hot sauce are my standbys; also freaking love Patum Pepparium Gentleman's Relish (sorta an anchovy salt paste) even though I always have pay crazy shipping to get it to the states.
Air-popped popcorn dipped in Marmite or Vegemite is the bee's knees but I can totally see how people are put off the first time they try either.
Low-cal, high-cal, weird or common- What's on your food?
What foods make you panic to eat?
/u/PoorLama [6ft | CW 190 | BMI 25.9 | Weight Lost 10lb | Gender F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:40:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrzpd/what_foods_make_you_panic_to_eat/
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Mine are tortillas and potato chips. I think Tortillas freak me out since you wouldn't expect them to have soo many calories.
[Other] Fit a size zero!!!
/u/thirteencat [5'3.5" | 107 | GW: 100 | UGW: 95| F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:37:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrz76/fit_a_size_zero/
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I got a pair of size 0 jeans from AE in the mail today, and I was shocked at how well they fit!! I haven’t been clothes shopping in a while so I always just assumed I was a size 4/6 like I’ve been my whole life. It’s always so hard to believe that I’m a size that I never thought I’d be able to reach. This is soooo motivating to me honestly haha.
[Other] No words.
/u/GospodiPomilui
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:36:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrywb/no_words/
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https://i.redd.it/s3fysgyi0ou11.jpg
Halloween parties be like
/u/fishonthesun
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:31:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrxw3/halloween_parties_be_like/
---
Eating candy, feeling guilty, purging even tho I had a ruptured ovarian cyst and there's still (slight) pain from it further "purging" by playing just dance like a madwoman for an hour
DAE relate to this kind of self punishment? I just want to be a normal college kid, eating candy without throwing up, dancing to have fun with friends and not to just burn calories
[Help] Everyone ignores me or is rude and dismissive of me.... Especially lately.
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:18:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrvmu/everyone_ignores_me_or_is_rude_and_dismissive_of/
---
There have been so many people who kind of bully me or treat me weird or are really dismissive of me... I think the time in my life I can remember people being really cool and in awe of me was when briefly I lost a lot of weight a while ago. I remember how proud the judge-y people in my life were. There was like one other time I was working in NY briefly in a job where I met lots of people, but still there were a lot of shitty people and dudes who just used me or grew tired of me...
I want to starve and take my prescription amphetamine medicine and spend most of my time at the gym when I’m not studying, but also drink because drinking makes things a bit more bearable.
Sigh.
I know there are people who are wayyy bigger than I am who are famous, loved, in the spotlight, kicking ass.... I hate being so insecure.
But even beautiful people aren’t taken seriously... often ridiculed for being ditzy and shallow.
So what is it? How do people take you seriously without being too stern or quiet?
Can we create a list other than being thin?
[Help] [help] how do you have sex while also hating everything about yourself?
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:18:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrvii/help_how_do_you_have_sex_while_also_hating/
---
Like seriously. I'm single, no FWB, considering anonymous sex but... Everything about me sucks lol
[Rant/Rave] Work making me feel like a failure
/u/angerypeech
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:12:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rruiu/work_making_me_feel_like_a_failure/
---
So I work as a prep cook and dishwasher in a really high end restaurant. I love it so much. My hours are really long and it’s a really physical job, but it’s so rewarding and such a good environment. I’m really lucky to be there.
However, in order to stay awake and not faint on the job, I have to eat much more than I usually do. I restrict really low during the days I don’t work, but if I don’t eat very much on shift I will get extremely dizzy and pass out. I’ve tried getting through shifts while restricting and it’s literal hell.
I basically eat whatever my boss makes, and while I still keep my intake as low as I think I can, I get so upset with myself whenever I eat there. I tell myself that I probably burn it off because I run around and sweat like crazy for 10 hours straight, but it’s helping less and less. No matter what’s happening at work or how much I’m enjoying myself, I can’t stop beating myself up for eating.
I guess I’m wondering if I should quit my job, or what I should do about my bullshit reactions to food. My food anxiety is starting to make work less enjoyable and I don’t want to get fired by default for fainting on the job or just doing shitty work because I’m so out of it. I don’t know guys. Can anyone relate?
So many pretty and skinny girls at Brockhampton tonight :(
/u/tubbyelephant
Created: Fri Oct 26 23:05:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrt0n/so_many_pretty_and_skinny_girls_at_brockhampton/
---
Couldn't stop comparing myself to them!! Oof ouch owie my slither of self-confidence is GONE. I felt like human version of trash floating along in the sewers compared to them. I must hustle and restrict more to try and become a music concert attendee queen.
[Rant] I just binged on like 12 oz of carrots...
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:58:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrrp2/rant_i_just_binged_on_like_12_oz_of_carrots/
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Then I had my shift meal at work which was a pretty large Greek salad which was around 500 calories after dressing and cheese... I'm ending at a good high restriction but the bench monster is hungry still and I don't know if I can fight it off.
My friend fucked me up...
/u/taylizzle-
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:52:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrqfp/my_friend_fucked_me_up/
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So me and my current best friend went out to eat at a pizza shop. I got a Diet Coke and a garlic knot and she had ordered a shittun of food. then after we’re sitting down eating our food a waitress lays a plate of fucking curly fries on the table and I was so confused. Then my friend tells me she ordered more food and she wants me to eat it with her, I literally wanted to run out the restaurant I felt so stuck in that moment I didn’t know what to do so I ate some in shame and guilt and then after that I went to the gym and worked my fucking ass off to burn off all those calories
Have you ever been in a situation where u had no choice but to eat something ?
[Rant/Rave] Restricting as a coping mechanism :-/!
/u/2AMChiliSoap [5'3F| 129 | GW:120-122 | 🍑 chilidabrat ]
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:48:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrplg/restricting_as_a_coping_mechanism/
---
I tried to make friends at a party but I was too scared and left. My eating disorder wants to tell me it’s because I’m too fat and afraid. I weigh 128 pounds, I am not “fat” like I was when people legitimately disliked me. I live in the United States. That is not considered fat to anyone outside of an eating disorder saddled brain like mine. I know this. I have a “sound” mind. Regardless, I am restricting anyway because I like having control of something and maybe when I’m skinny I will be more confident to make friends and not feel so out of place.
When I was 185 and people weren’t nice to me, I wanted to starve until 135. All of my friends were 125-135. They were well liked and they had a great time. I starved to get that, I guess, and I didn’t because there’s just something WRONG with me outside of this ED saddled fucking brain!! I’m too shy. I’m just not talkative I guess.
You know what my mentally ill brain decides? I am not talkative. On vyvanse, I was talkative. And not hungry for three days after one pill. Calling the psychiatrist first thing Monday for an ADHD screening. Kills two birds in one stone — and then I’ll restrict while being talkative and then I’ll be happy.
[Discussion] DAE get the urge to purge despite never doing it?
/u/ZygomaticArdvark [5'2" | CW: 97.8 | BMI 18.0 | 16F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:43:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrom3/dae_get_the_urge_to_purge_despite_never_doing_it/
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For me whenever I get anxious, or very sad/lonely, I get a crazy strong urge to make myself vomit even though I've never actually purged in my life. In the moment, I'm very convinced that purging will get rid of the anxiety and make everything feel okay; I go as far as planning where and when I should. Do any of you experience this?
Out of curiosity: Is anyone here formerly obese or very overweight?
/u/mintystorms
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:32:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrmhz/out_of_curiosity_is_anyone_here_formerly_obese_or/
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If so, how much better are you treated by people after massive weight loss? Do you find people are generally nicer to you?
[Tip] You guys I found 45 calorie mozzerella cheese at Walmart!!!
/u/Isaidbiiiitttttttchh [Height 5’9”| HW:216| CW:150 | GW: 132 Gender: F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:15:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrj8g/you_guys_i_found_45_calorie_mozzerella_cheese_at/
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Has anyone else seen this in the wild?? I’m so excited :-) it’s fat free
Working in the ED field
/u/Bowlbutt
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:12:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrijz/working_in_the_ed_field/
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I currently work in the field and support people who have eating disorders every day. Before I started, I was asked if I had an eating disorder (many recovered folks work in the field) and while I have definitely struggled with emotional eating and some disordered patterns, I said "no" but explained my history because at the time, that was my perception. I was told that relapse can happen which makes sense. Because I work in a residential treatment setting, I eat with the clients. In turn, I eat A LOT more than I would ever eat because I'm basically on a weight restoration plan (so like at least 2K calories a day) which in turn has me obsessing over food intake. Like to the point where I've gained weight because I'm finding myself binging and obsessing over food. I've fantasized about restricting and my intention is to be mindful about what I eat when I'm not working but I just end up binging instead. I don't think it impedes my job performance because I can easily differentiate but it does scare me a little bit because all I want to do is lose weight. It's all I want right now. Has anyone else been in this situation? I don't feel like I had an eating disorder before this but now I feel like food stuff has come up for me more than ever.
[Help] Dumb question but do salted eggs (shelled eggs cured in salt and water) have more or less calories than normal hardboiled eggs?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Fri Oct 26 22:04:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrgts/dumb_question_but_do_salted_eggs_shelled_eggs/
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Does the salt brine pull out the moisture from the egg (even though it's shelled), making it weigh less than a normal hardboiled egg? I know it's a stupid question but I just wanna make sure because I plan on breaking my fast with a salted egg. I usually count it as a normal hardboiled egg, though. I'm assuming it's the same and I'm just being stupid.
ive eaten three normal meals a day for a week now for the first time in months
/u/mardfet
Created: Fri Oct 26 21:58:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrfmz/ive_eaten_three_normal_meals_a_day_for_a_week_now/
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and i havent gained weight bc i managed my proportions and only went overboard once or twice which i balanced with exercise
:)
Hey guys
/u/michellenemangepas
Created: Fri Oct 26 21:46:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrd4j/hey_guys/
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I mean literal guys (and I guess anyone who doesn't identify as cis fem)
Just wanted to say y'all are important. And valid. ED communities tend to focus on girls. A lot of us are. But that doesn't mean all of you other people aren't out there living your own ED-related issues.
I don't know, I just want you to know that your struggles are real and valid. ♡
[Tip] Just found this at Walmart!!!!!!!! 45cal per serving.
/u/Isaidbiiiitttttttchh [Height 5’9”| HW:216| CW:150 | GW: 132 Gender: F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 21:37:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rrba4/just_found_this_at_walmart_45cal_per_serving/
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https://i.redd.it/pzfjfth0fnu11.jpg
All my coworkers (oilfield) that are skinny like me are all drunkarexics or just straight up work anas.
/u/empTXistence
Created: Fri Oct 26 21:28:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rr9d5/all_my_coworkers_oilfield_that_are_skinny_like_me/
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After going out on my first couple jobs (16 hour days, fuck me) ive notice that thateres a group of us who just don't eat. We might grab a beer after work or grab a little snack for during but we work way to much to maintain out weights the amount and the effort we work. Kinda makes me feel less alone in this foreign city in the middle of nowhere.
I cant wait to get my week home so I can just sleep for days and see my family and friends.
I really want to be taken care of.
/u/its_scorpio_season [5'4" | 155.2 | 26.6 | -1.8 | 23F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 21:16:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rr6yq/i_really_want_to_be_taken_care_of/
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I've kind of been a badass this year, have been very strong, have lots of things to be proud of.
But I really want to be small, and have someone take care of me.
Can anyone relate?
losing weight but seeing no changes
/u/Exs-dee [63" | 116.5 | 21.3 | 9 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 21:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rr5iu/losing_weight_but_seeing_no_changes/
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I'm not talking about looking in the mirror and not seeing anything (bc I still see the same blob). I mean losing almost 10lbs and my measurements have moved at most .5 in. At this rate I dont even know how I'm supposed to lose 5in off my waist
[Help] What helped you restrict when first starting?
/u/peachsy
Created: Fri Oct 26 21:00:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rr3ju/what_helped_you_restrict_when_first_starting/
---
I have a mild case of BED and over the years I have steadily been gaining weight. I live on my own, and work in a mall which doesn’t leave me many healthy options when I haven’t packed a lunch. I ALWAYS fall victim to my cravings. You would think the fact that I hate my body would be enough to change things over but no.
I know people say drinking lots of coffee helps them feel full and restrict, but I would appreciate any tips for someone who has never done it before.
Halloween - ED style
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|120lbs|-16lbs|25F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:39:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqyrs/halloween_ed_style/
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My night:
- attends my college's Halloween party without a costume
- doesn't talk to anyone
- sits alone stuffing my face with cake, chips, and candy
- wanders room to room, grabbing handlefuls of candy to put in my back pack
- goes home to purge
Going to Disney
/u/longlostbaristaa
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:32:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqxbb/going_to_disney/
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how do I not let my anorexia ruin my disney trip? :( I want to be carefree and try all the yummy food and just be happy..
[Discussion] Controversial: do you believe that some people naturally fall at higher bmi's or is that a crock of sh*t to make you recover early?
/u/gndrfkr
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:32:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqx7o/controversial_do_you_believe_that_some_people/
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My opinion is split depending on my current state of mind.
Sometimes, yes. I acknowledge that as an athlete with a muscular build, I may start getting unhealthy before my bmi shows I should.
Sometimes, no. Why should I be doomed to be heavy forever?
Discuss. Please spill your full feelings 😂😂😂
Slipping away
/u/Ednasucks [180cm | CW 75kg | BMI 23 | Lost: 53kg | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:25:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqvt6/slipping_away/
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Everything in my life is extremes. I've got a new good job and I've qualified for my career (conditional on passing exams). I have dates.
I also have my grandpa in hospital with cancer, my other relatives also in hospital, trying to pay off debt etc
Everyone who knows about my ED seems to have stopped caring. I've not eaten 2 days so far this week going on a third today. I have an ED clinic appointment this week. I'm not coping. I'm supposed to be happy. But it's just dread.
[Rant/Rave] Premature celebration
/u/SkinnyAgain259 [Height 5’7”| CW 155lbs | BMI 24.2 | Weight Lost 5lbs | Gender F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:07:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqrrf/premature_celebration/
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I posted over a week ago about how happy I am about almost being under 10st and guess what, I’m still 10st 0.4lbs!
I did binge for 2 days after because I was hungover, but other than that I’ve been restricting. Not as strict as usual but still under 1200 cal.
I swear to god if I’m not under 10st tomorrow I’m gonna scream. It’s so much easier to restrict if you’re actually accomplishing something, for me at least.
[Discussion] ED as self harm?
/u/safftastix
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:06:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqrit/ed_as_self_harm/
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I eat and eat and eat and eat.
I don't purge.
Every once in a while I feel guilty.
But mostly I like to binge because...
I don't care. I don't care what I look like. Actually I want to be unattractive. I want to be someone that no one is interested in sexually.
I feel like this is a feature of self harm. Instead of cutting myself, I eat so that I can numb myself and know that no one will ever want to hurt me.
Anyone else experience something similar (whether you're AN, BN, OFSED, BED, etc doesn't matter).
Just wondering if this is a super weird psychological problem even within the ED community or if others use food to self harm as well. Thanks.
[Help] Sex after weight loss
/u/bbdoc826
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:05:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqra0/sex_after_weight_loss/
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I have basically never been in a relationship and am 30. I have been underweight and obese off an on and now my body is a saggy sac of skin and stretch marks and my boobs are small and saggy and I feel so unattractive. I just hooked up with a guy I really like and feel like I deceived him with wearing clothes and don’t know how he could be attracted to me now and just feel weird and anxious about hooking up again since I can’t handle him touching certain parts of my body... or looking at me naked. Has anyone dealt with this and found a way to get past it? I feel like body dysmorphia and insecurity being the foundation of many EDs including mine makes me feel like I will never feel comfortable:(
[Help] i went two days on 2 mcchickens
/u/Firerose157 [5'4" | 110 | 18.9 | hw 146 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:02:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqqjh/i_went_two_days_on_2_mcchickens/
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it fucking hurts to lay on my stomach because my hip bones are protruding
​
i walk at least 2 miles almost every day to try to receive food from food pantries, begging people for a job
​
for once, i dont want this. i dont want to starve. im finally getting better, i dont want this (?). but i cant afford otherwise.
​
i heard someone purging in mcdonalds. i had half a sausage biscuit today and walked two miles, but it triggered me so hard. i only restrict, but i had an urge to do it because why would she care if I do it because she is too?
​
im trying so hard to get by and feed my partner. hes so mad ive starved myself. he said i look confused, my mouth hangs open often, and i can feel it on my body. i pass out (fall asleep) every day i get home, i never did before. eating makes me so tired i almost passed out while eating a rice cake. my family and partner tell me i cant afford to lose my job and ill collapse if i do this at work. i cant eat knowing i owe $700 for rent in a few days, and im broke. i cant let my partner be homeless. if it were just me, i'd be evicted, pay off my bills, and continue starving.
​
i had a close call today. ive never been as hot as i was today. i was genuinely scared while walking. fuck i keep losing my train of thought and getting confused. ive cried so many times out of stress, being afraid to lose our home (i cant tell my partner im struggling, god...). im gonna go try to eat, i have this headache and keep feeling confused and like the room's moving... i stopped having stomach issues when the lava took our home because i was eating more because of the shelter. im starting to have that stomach pain again that doesnt go away with tums or eating sometimes. i fucked up so bad guys.
[Tip] PSA: Quest bars on sale at Walmart
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 20:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqqei/psa_quest_bars_on_sale_at_walmart/
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I’ve travelled across New England this week, and went to at least one Walmart in every state. Quest bar boxes have been on sale for some flavours $4-$5 a box, with some individual bars (mocha and mint usually) clearances at $1-$1.25 (same price as above btw). Check both the performance nutrition aisle AND the clearance aisle. Sometimes pharmacy has its own clearance as well.
What I THINK is happening is that they are A) discontinuing these flavours which is okay because mint is an abomination before god and all of her people OR B) they are clearing out this batch (seems to expire 02/19) so that Resolutioners will have fresh ones to buy.
ANYWAY thought you ought to know 🤷♀️
Would anyone be interested in an updated version of Losertown, potentially a mobile app?
/u/nymphetamines_ [too fat | non-binary]
Created: Fri Oct 26 19:33:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqjvu/would_anyone_be_interested_in_an_updated_version/
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Losertown is straight outta 2007, the weight loss projection program is in a hidden tab on the website of Anomie Train, what I *think* is/was a band? But possibly just one dude?
It's a little weird and outdated, in any case, and I'm kinda bored and have been interested in getting more practice developing webapps and Android apps. I know someone who agreed to whip up an iOS version too. The thing is, if we put the effort in to make and host these, would anyone even be interested in using them?
For those of you who have succeeded before in recovery, what got you through?
/u/strawstring [5'10 | CW 155 | GW 140 | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 19:10:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqeip/for_those_of_you_who_have_succeeded_before_in/
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I want to recover so bad. I want to stop this. But of course, I fail every time - can't make it more than a few days at most, and lately not even more than 24 hours. Was there one thought/person/event/goal that got you through recovery? Or anything that helped stop your behaviors for a little? I'm looking for literally anything that could help!
Love and thanks x
getting really frustrated
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Fri Oct 26 19:02:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqcsr/getting_really_frustrated/
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I’m not trying to sound like an ungrateful bitch but I really wish my parents would stop buying ice cream/other sweet stuff. I’m really the only one who eats that stuff in my family and my mom doesn’t know about my ED but she does know that I have self control issues around food even though I’m pretty thin (5’6 and 118 lbs). It just pisses me off because whenever I tell her that id really like to not have that stuff around because I’m trying not to eat sugar she goes all “You don’t need to be watching what you eat you’re skinny” and like that’s not the point. Yeah sugar usually leads to bingeing for me but I’m fucking addicted to sugar and having it around the house is so hard for me. This sounds so fatlogicy but nobody in my family is even fat she’s like 5’7 and 140 lbs. It just really makes me frustrated when people equate trying to not eat garbage and being on a diet/trying to lose weight because yeah I’m trying to do both but they aren’t related if that makes sense?
[Help] Did recovery (or self-recovery) completely screw over anyone else?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 19:01:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqcd5/did_recovery_or_selfrecovery_completely_screw/
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Two summers ago I was 85lbs. Today I’m 103. And to be completely honest, I’m devastated.
It seems like ever since I tried to self recover 2 years ago, I’ve never quite been able to lose the weight again/keep it off/restrict as hard. Trying to recover was truly the worst mistake I’ve ever made.
I was wondering if anyone else has had a experience? How did you break out of the rut of constantly gaining?
ED finally caught up to me (xpost)
/u/angelicsnake
Created: Fri Oct 26 18:57:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqbhr/ed_finally_caught_up_to_me_xpost/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/BingeEatingDisorder/comments/9rq7ii/ed_finally_caught_up_to_me/
[Other] Reaching Goal Weight And Feeling Confident :) 5"5 Height
/u/NewStart253
Created: Fri Oct 26 18:55:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqawu/reaching_goal_weight_and_feeling_confident_55/
---
I've been putting myself out their more meeting new people and exercising aaalllot :) Recently got broken up with and although I wish him the best and a part of me will probably always care about him and i'm disappointed in myself for not handling it more maturely, bad mouthed him loads on another Reddit account which was completely uncalled for. It made me realize that I had become a person that someone who knew me for many years couldn't stick anymore.
So I decided to change :) The one thing that helped a lot was the weight loss. I feel a lot more confident when i'm out because the first thing they comment on is the weight loss which is great it feels kind of like seeing yourself for the first time if that sounds kind of weird. I love my body more now and my anxiety has quieted down which could be the restrictive dieting or tiredness from exercise but I feel less freaked in social situations and enjoy it more :) I'm nearing the seven stone and a half mark which is my goal weight but depending on how my arms look I might go lower while toning, no where under 7 stone though.
It's great to have a sense of control over your own body and its made me realize that i'm not as breakable as I thought I was :) I've cut out a lot of processed sugars and fats so I have a lot more energy. I have a party tomorrow for my graduation and am a bit worried about eating loads though. I feel like fixating on exercising and calorie counting is a healthy way to replace the anxieties I felt about normal things. I'm getting a lot more socializing done and realize that it isn't that bad, I like hearing new peoples views and I feel less conscious about myself when i'm out :) It will probably be awhile before I date again which I'm okay with, I wanna keep doing what i'm doing and get my life sorted first.
I don't know if I will keep this weight but for now it's really helped in a strange way to come to terms with the things I need to change to become a better person and it's the happiest I've felt in a very long time :) I'm sure to some it may seem like an unhealthy way of managing other anxieties but it's given me a sense of control that I honestly really needed. It's time I focus on me and do what it takes to move forward.
I bought a waist trainer and it makes me feel so much less hungry and safe. 🖤
/u/beeeleave [5’4 | 114lbs |19.7bmi |female]
Created: Fri Oct 26 18:52:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rqad8/i_bought_a_waist_trainer_and_it_makes_me_feel_so/
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[Goal] I will not eat tomorrow
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Fri Oct 26 18:46:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rq8zi/i_will_not_eat_tomorrow/
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It’s my college’s homecoming weekend and today I ate about 1400 calories. I always binge on the weekends and ruin my progress through the week. So I’m trying to break the pattern tomorrow. I just need to stay strong and not give in. It’ll be worth it in the long run. I’m getting so much closer to my first goal weight. I don’t want to undo this weeks progress.
I’m back
/u/Kchillthanx
Created: Fri Oct 26 18:39:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rq7cq/im_back/
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Long time lurker here. I’ve been home from a month long stay in residential for about 3 weeks now. Started restricting again two days ago, I had too much anxiety and pain. Cheers!
[Rant/Rave] Serving size means nothing to me
/u/StrangeristThings
Created: Fri Oct 26 18:27:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rq4jy/serving_size_means_nothing_to_me/
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I either eat wayyyyyy more or wayyyyyy less. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten an actual serving. They should stop putting that shit on packages.
[Rant/Rave] just ordered a bunch of binge food.
/u/lardizebra
Created: Fri Oct 26 17:57:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpx5i/just_ordered_a_bunch_of_binge_food/
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and i’m not even sorry.
i’ve been sick for weeks, i have completely lost my voice and i can’t breathe due to sever sinus infection.
my manager was “joking” around today and said that she was pretty and i was “half pretty”. what?
customers were yelling at me for how long their stuff was waiting because whenever i called their names they couldn’t even hear me.
i haven’t eaten over 300 cal a day in over a week, and i just hit the 160s for the first time in a year after a LONG plateau.
wendy’s i pray you get into my fat gullet faster.
[Discussion] DAE hate eating with people?
/u/RunLikeTh3Winded
Created: Fri Oct 26 17:57:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpx0p/dae_hate_eating_with_people/
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Not because I’m self conscious about the act of eating, but because when I’m eating with friends or family, I can’t focus all of my attention on my food.
I restrict at a comfortable 1,000 (which I understand is way more than most here), but it’s still not a ton. And when I eat I want to fully *experience* and enjoy every bit of it, if that makes sense.
[Intro] First post
/u/sadfatlump
Created: Fri Oct 26 17:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpwsw/first_post/
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Hey! It's my first post here and I just wanted to say hi. I've had disordered eating habits for about 6 years and I've been better (not perfect obviously) for a decent amount of time but now everything feels unbearable and I'm finding myself falling back into all my old habits.
I used to have an instagram when there was an "ED community" (is there still one?? It's been years since I had an account) but I really liked the feeling of having a community that understood me. So here I am!
[Other] Shower thought: Thanksgiving/Christmas is infinitely more spooky than Halloween if you have an ED
/u/nextlvlrattata [5'6| 129.6| 20.9 | 35.4 | f]
Created: Fri Oct 26 17:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpsy1/shower_thought_thanksgivingchristmas_is/
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[Rant/Rave] Broke Up
/u/miserablemei [Height: 5’1| CW: 153 |SW: 168| Female]
Created: Fri Oct 26 17:33:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rprc9/broke_up/
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So, my boyfriend finally broke up with me and I’m not particularly shocked. He said he was never attracted to me at all, physically, but stayed anyways, which led to me being paranoid that he was cheating on me since he’d barely even talk to me unless I was over at his place. I feel absolutely disgusting though since he’s always been so into one of my friends (who hates his guts and has hated his guts since highschool) who’s 5’10, 95 pounds, with long flowing hair and is a total damn genius. So naturally I feel like a ball of fat and not only that! But an ugly worthless and disposable ball of fat that can’t even keep a relationship because she’s too ugly. He said everything was fine besides that. But it was obviously a lot since he was too nervous and ashamed to tell his friends we were dating and I wasn’t allowed to tell them either. So my self confidence is truly through the roof tonight, though I know I’m definitely not eating unless I absolutely need to for next few months now so I can be actually pretty for once.
Altering my appearance to look like my bfs fave anime girl?
/u/sadbean17 [158 | 57.8kg | 24 | 18F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 17:25:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rppb3/altering_my_appearance_to_look_like_my_bfs_fave/
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Flair as rant/rave? Can't flair, on mobile pls.
Basically what the title says. It's stupid I know, but he likes the look of this anime girl from dragon ball and now I'm considering buying her outfit and dying my hair/losing weight to look like her. She's super skinny and cute and I feel bad. Like I know it's stupid to compare myself to a cartoon character lmao but still
[Discussion] Is anyone else really bad at noticing changes in weight?
/u/RealChrisHemsworth
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:56:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rphq5/is_anyone_else_really_bad_at_noticing_changes_in/
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I gained 15lbs freshman year of university and literally didn't notice (probably because I wore leggings every day) until I accidentally shed the weight in 2nd year and everyone started telling me that I'd lost so much weight. Seriously, I hate how people won't tell you if you're gaining but compliment you once you start losing it!!!
It happened again this year. I haven't really noticed a difference (and I don't have a scale) but my mom gave me her old Smart Set brand dress pants in size 0 and they were super tight and barely fit when I tried them on in August but they fit perfectly now. I still thought it was a crazy coincidence or that I was imagining it until yesterday morning when I put my phone between my thighs while I was doing something and it fell to the floor. *I have a thigh gap???? Since when?????*
Does anyone else feel like they never actually see any changes so they have to rely on other people or external methods (e.g. clothes size, measurements) before they realize that they're losing weight?
Will rapid weight loss negatively effect my skin if I’m only 21?
/u/tomathoe [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:54:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpha9/will_rapid_weight_loss_negatively_effect_my_skin/
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Although I hate being fat, I’m also very scared of aging faster than I’m supposed to.
[Help] Getting weighed at doctor’s
/u/thatgentleman28101 [5’5 | CW 107 lbs | GW 85 lbs| ]
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:52:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpgux/getting_weighed_at_doctors/
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I’m getting a flu shot tomorrow and I’m going to have to be weighed 🙃🙃. I don't get why my doctor’s office does this, weight is completely irrelevant for a flu shot.
I want to ask them not to weigh me, but my parents already suspect I have an ed. I feel like that might be a red flag for them, especially paired with the fact that I’ve lost nearly 20lbs since my last doctor’s visit. I’ve managed to hide it well and I don't want them to be constantly scrutinizing my body once they find out.
What should I do? I’m kinda panicking rn
I feel so frustrated that I work so hard, care so much, deny myself so often, and yet I look so completely average.
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 109 | GW 104 | F26]
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:48:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpfst/i_feel_so_frustrated_that_i_work_so_hard_care_so/
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It sucks.
[Help] first bad behaviour in a while :(
/u/Izzy570 [25F | 5’4 | CW 109.6 | BMI 18.8 | GW 88| LW 94| ]
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:31:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpb6n/first_bad_behaviour_in_a_while/
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*Trigger
Sort of b/p first time in a long time, already drunk (cals accounted for) , 2 slice buttered toast (300??) 2 mini cake bites (120) and a bite of jam doughnut, (??) my head is spinning but I feel better but I’m sad and worried I couldn’t get it all out :( I hate myself why did I do this I have been all month without overeating. I’m going to gain so much weight from this
[Other] Taking the first bite of a binge after starving yourself all day feels like finally kissing someone after a long date and realizing you like them so much more than you thought you did.
/u/lizbites
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:31:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rpb06/taking_the_first_bite_of_a_binge_after_starving/
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[Rant/Rave] Normal moments...
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rp6z0/normal_moments/
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So now I have these moments where my body doesn't matter, ill eat whatever I want, and feel happy afterward. But its like I go and look in the mirror and all that happiness gets thrown in the trash.... I had lunch at school today and wanted to purge it so badly (even though I cant cause no gag reflex) and then I got home and for dinner I had 1 slice garlic bread, and a small bowl of leftover chili and Mexican mac and cheese. My stomach isnt bloated, I feel happy, and then I go to my room and look at myself and get upset omggg. Then my mom tells my dad "im not gonna eat tonight" my dad asked why, and she said its because shes a "fatass". I really hope my mom gets better.... Even if I dont
Scared that I've eaten something but forgotten
/u/EDpression_ [5'5'' |23.9|CW: 139 | LW: 130 |HW: 160|GW: 110| -6 lbs| mid20s F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 16:11:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rp5lk/scared_that_ive_eaten_something_but_forgotten/
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Hi, just wondering if any of you can relate ... I'm about to go to sleep, and scrolling thru mfp i'm just stressing that I've forgotten to log something. I'm not hungry at all rn, and I know I shouldn't complain but it just makes me anxious.
what if i just stuffed my face while unaware? fuck ... 😫
[Rant/Rave] Ate all my calories in one meal.
/u/ReapHappiness [5’8” | CW: 138.9lbs| SW: 167lbs | 21.1 BMI | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 15:47:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9royri/ate_all_my_calories_in_one_meal/
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So last night I binged on fried chicken, and I still woke up like 3lbs down. So of course I thought that because I lost weight I could treat myself to more fried fat so I had more chicken for breakfast... and that one meal was 1,170 calories
a.k.a what most non disordered people consider to be a calorie deficit. I really can’t remember when I thought that 1,000 cals was ok. Especially not 1,000 for one meal. I think I’ll be able to “fast” for the rest of the day and only drink Diet Pepsi for meals. I don’t even know if this is readable but yeah
which scale is more likely to be correct?
/u/manfromanother-place [5’1.75 | CW:100 | GW: 95 | 18.4]
Created: Fri Oct 26 15:21:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9roram/which_scale_is_more_likely_to_be_correct/
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my home scale says i'm 100, but that weird thing at walmart that can do your blood pressure and also your weight that you sit on says 106. is it possible that the walmart one is correct? :(
Hypoglycemia
/u/teapip99
Created: Fri Oct 26 15:07:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ron3h/hypoglycemia/
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Hello! I have been high restricting around 1200 a day (I am 5”2’ 127 lbs) and I just had a severe episode of hypoglycemia.. I am confused as I am not underweight or even eating that low.. I do work out every day though so maybe I should up my intake? Has this ever happened to you/ is there anything I can do to help it before upping my intake?
[Rant/Rave] Eating makes me nauseous
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 |CW 117 | GW 115 | GW 105-110 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 15:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rom28/eating_makes_me_nauseous/
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So I fasted for most of this week and yesterday and today I ate. Immediately after I feel nauseous and today it was to the point that in vomited. Then I felt better. Anyone else get nausea after they eat. I might be developing an aversion to food cuz eating never makes me feel good.
[Rant/Rave] My friends a skinny piece of shit and i want to die
/u/Inky-flower-
Created: Fri Oct 26 15:03:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rolvr/my_friends_a_skinny_piece_of_shit_and_i_want_to/
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Hey, new here, need to vent.
So my best friend, we'll call her Pheobe, is verrry pro-ana and when we were younger she would comment on my weight ALL THE TIME and i could go into more detail but like anyways yeah that led to my ED which ive now had for like three years. We're still close "friends" because our families are close. The other day she made me weigh myself so she could criticize me, because "Yeah it's this thing im a big fan of, it's called meanspo, it'll encourage you to lose more and be prettier"
My mom walked in, saw what we were doing, got super angry at Pheobe, had a looong talk about how im good just the way i am (My mom is super sweet, bless her tbh) and took away the scale so i cant see my weight anymore. this was two weeks ago. I had a doctors checkup today and found out that because i wasnt able to watch my weight, IVE GAINED FOUR POUNDS. I feel awful. I've been crying for an hour and am barely resisting the urge to go binge until i feel like exploding. I hate pheobe and i hate myself.
[Other] holy fuck
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:50:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9roi2e/holy_fuck/
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I used to love the feeling of caffeine on an empty stomach, but I had an energy drink for the first time in a while today and wanted to die :(
Also this is my 4th (?) post today sorry but I just want something/someone to talk to about this stuff that doesn’t freak out bc of what I’m doing
What shows/movies/youtube videos can I watch this weekend to dissuade me from binge eating? :)
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rofm2/what_showsmoviesyoutube_videos_can_i_watch_this/
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[Other] Mental breakdown at work over a breakfast sandwich
/u/plaidbluejammies
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:29:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9roc0x/mental_breakdown_at_work_over_a_breakfast_sandwich/
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I feel like a gd basket case right now (though being bipolar with an ED I guess I am).
I hit 60 lbs lost this morning, I still have a lot to lose but it’s a good achievement I guess. I decided to indulge in “treat yo self Friday” and was going to get an iced cold brew with non fat milk from Starbucks.
For some godforsaken reason I suddenly had this insatiable urge to eat a 500 CALORIE sausage, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich. I kept trying to talk myself out of it. I was like watching myself in a horror movie, screaming at the tv “DON’T DO IT!!”
But we obviously all know what happened. I stuffed the whole thing in my face and felt so disgusting before, during, and after.
I had some time before work to walk like 2 miles and try to digest a little but I felt so full and bloated. I got to my desk and tried to focus even though I want to die. I feel like such a worthless failure.
Anyways, I started silently sobbing at my desk while my makeup was streaming down my face. When someone asked me what was wrong I didn’t even know what to say. “I ate breakfast and it made me suicidal”?
It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to take my nighttime meds with 350 calories. So I’ll have to either skip my meds or suck it up and deal with eating 900 calories today.
Ugh anyways, there’s no point to this post other than to get it off my chest and observe the bizarre nature of an ED.
[Other] Um wtf if it just me or DAE seem to have this problem????
/u/loseitjen [5'8 |SW 140|CW ?!|GW 115| F21]
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:27:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9roblv/um_wtf_if_it_just_me_or_dae_seem_to_have_this/
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I’m fat?????
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] Bought my favorite candy and ate just one!
/u/AspergersAndCoffee
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:20:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro9nw/rave_bought_my_favorite_candy_and_ate_just_one/
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As you may know if you've seen my previous posts, I'm in recovery. I don't follow any meal plans or "diets" like Minnie Maud but I'm doing intuitive eating and I love it.
It's not easy sometimes. Sometimes I feel guilty about the food I eat and still engage in disordered behaviors... (For example, we all know why do I prefer Nutridrink (300kcal) to Resource (400kcal) when I want a nutritional shake.
During the first days of recovery, I ate so much and felt stuffed all the time and it was scary... That wasn't easy too. But I knew I ate my way to freedom and I should not relapse.
Anyway, onto the candy: When I was in the store with my mom, I asked her to buy Weather's Original candy, my favorite that I deprived myself of in the name of "healthier" foods during anorexia. I craved it all the time this week so why not?
We got home. When we drived, I didn't feel like eating candy but she took one. Just one. She doesn't restrict her food intake in any way (she has ARFID but slowly gets better with a similar approach to mine) and I was kinda impressed she ate just one... But then we got home, I felt like eating some, and I did the same thing!
I didn't binge on the candy! It was delicious and caramely and of course I could have binged. But it's not as much of an enjoyable experience as savoring one piece of it.
I feel so ridiculously happy because I can eat whatever I want. I've eaten lots of "bad" food, and I still do, but I'm in control over it and make sure this is what I really want right now. I also eat dates, oatmeal and apples, but only because I want them, not because they're "good"! And I never actually binged aside from extreme hunger! It is possible!
[Rant/Rave] I’m starving but I’m not losing weight
/u/delaneyjay
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:19:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro98o/im_starving_but_im_not_losing_weight/
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I started restricting 3 years ago at a high of 147 lbs. I quickly lost until I reached a low of 118, but immediately rocketed back up and began a long cycle of losing, gaining, losing, gaining the same 20-ish lbs. Through all of this I kept restricting with the occasional binge
Where I sit, right now, at 140 after this summer hit me hard and I put on 20 lbs. Still through that summer I restricted. Even now, trying to put a dent in those extra pounds, I’m restricting. I’m lucky if I DONT gain weight
At this point I don’t even see the point. I’m not losing weight, I’ve gone to extreme measures to make sure I’m not underestimating food, I obsessively count calories— I even taped my mouth shut overnight to be sure I wasn’t sleep eating.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I can only focus on food and losing weight. But I’m so fucking sick of restricting. I hate that I eat less than 800 calories a day and I gain like I ate 8,000. I would rather be browsing 1200IP instead of proed— not that I don’t love your guys support— but I’d end up with the same rate of loss
I know I can’t wave a magic wand and immediately slough off 10 pounds. But if I spend any more time at this disgusting weight I might just die
I’m sorry for being so dramatic. I just want my old body back. I always complained about being fat 30 lbs ago but never realized how small I was
[Rant/Rave] I need someone to take my Deliveroo prime membership away from me
/u/acykq
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:12:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro741/i_need_someone_to_take_my_deliveroo_prime/
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I've been doing quite well with restricting and keeping it under 500 calories, but I just got the sudden urge for something sweet and one thing led to another and now I have a whole ass white chocolate fondue on the way! Doomed to be a sweet-toothed fatass forever
I’m ashamed of my body but can’t stop eating like crap. How do you control urges?
/u/AnimeAndCorgis
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro6lk/im_ashamed_of_my_body_but_cant_stop_eating_like/
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Ive gained 50 pounds in 3 years and I hate the way I look. But I can’t seem to control a craving when I see something that looks good or when food is offered or put in front of me. At this rate I’ll never get my body back. Can anyone offer some kind words?
[Help] [Serious] How can I help my girlfriend with an eating disorder?
/u/throwaway-help-her
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:03:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro4ei/serious_how_can_i_help_my_girlfriend_with_an/
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Just as the title says. She struggled with anorexia some time ago and has since been recovered up until now. She recently confessed that she’s relapsing — restricting, trying to make herself puke, abusing laxatives, etc. I’m just distraught because I never noticed.
How can I help her in a way that doesn’t trigger her or encourage her to restrict more?
[Other] wtf am i gonna do now
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Fri Oct 26 14:02:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro45c/wtf_am_i_gonna_do_now/
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https://i.redd.it/tmeyrgm66lu11.jpg
[Other] To Buy or Not to Buy
/u/ManicPixieBallerina
Created: Fri Oct 26 13:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro1dk/to_buy_or_not_to_buy/
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On my way to the store today, the thought occurs to me, "should I buy a scale?"
I've managed to function without one for a while, but I did weigh myself recently. 105. That's good. But I'm so close to being lower, maybe I should? I knowwhere in the bathroom I could hide it, nobody would ever look there. I could have a cute progress chart. More than that, as the number gets lower I have some hope my body will get smaller with it.
But then I get competitive. Racing myself to dangerous lows, and the absolute last thing I need to get caught with is a scale. My family has threatened me with inpatient, I have no doubt they'd at least try.
I ended up not getting it, for today at least. Bought glitter and bath bombs in stead. But will I do it next time? Who knows. Certianly not me.
I binged and now I'm anxious for my night shift at a restaurant
/u/Ok_mini_
Created: Fri Oct 26 13:49:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ro06g/i_binged_and_now_im_anxious_for_my_night_shift_at/
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Throw away because my SO knows my account and has no idea how drastic my ED is.
Anyways, I binged. I just ate so much food that it physically hurts. The funniest thing is that I STILL want to eat more. Unfortunately (and fortunately) purging isn't my style so I have to continue on feeling like a disgustingly bloated pig for the rest of the day. My obsessive brain had me track every bit of my binge. I can still stay within my daily limit if I severely restrict for the rest of the night. Did I mention my job runs past midnight and I work at a restaurant? Usually I allow myself to eat frequently (just low calorie snacks.) Sadly, the only calorie room left is pathetically small. I'm extremely anxious that I wont be able to make it through my shift without going way over my budget. I feel so uncomfortable physically and mentally. Prepping with lots of tea and the promise of coke zero. Please send unhungry vibes?
[Rant/Rave] I feel gross
/u/CreativeCondition
Created: Fri Oct 26 13:38:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rnwqw/i_feel_gross/
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I was doing okay at 650cals, but my mum made me have scrambled eggs with toast so now I'm at 881 and I feel anxious and disgusting. I want to purge but I don't know how and I don't like vomiting. I'm scared and I can feel the food in my stomach oh fuck why did I eat that
[Help] Question about my ass 😅is it just me?
/u/AuBenseiter
Created: Fri Oct 26 13:35:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rnvt2/question_about_my_ass_is_it_just_me/
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When I stand in front of the mirror naked, facing it, I can see the bottom of my cheeks in between my legs. I literally have no idea if this is normal or if I just have a v saggy ass? I can't stop thinking about it. BMI is currently 21.8 for reference.
​
plz give me answers so I can stop thinking about this.
Already thin people talking about how much they looove to eat *insert rolling eye emoji*
/u/theunachievable
Created: Fri Oct 26 13:31:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rnud5/already_thin_people_talking_about_how_much_they/
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was out with friends and friends of friends and as they were waiting for their food the topic of eating habits came up??? and two of them were going on about how much they love to eat and how even when they were young they'd always eat and stay skinny. And I'm just sitting there quiet like ummm can. not. relate. I was kind of getting mad inside like I have to work HARD just to stay average! And here they are gloating how easy it is for them. -.- On a more positive note I didn't order any drinks, any food, or eat any food offered. My will power was stroooong that night!
Target vanity sizing in real time
/u/redcapris
Created: Fri Oct 26 13:08:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rnnmj/target_vanity_sizing_in_real_time/
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Has anyone else noticed this or am I going insane? I bought a pair of size 4 jeans from their Universal Thread brand in June. I bought another pair same size same brand a few weeks ago, and they’re too big. Now, obviously my weight has changed somewhat but the thing is the ones I bought in June still fit. Mostly I’m just annoyed because it’s toonlate to return the too big jeans but really, what gives? Is this just a fluke or will I be a 00 by Christmas?
[Rant/Rave] in a plateau apparently
/u/angelic-rose [🌹 19F | 5’6 | 120| 19.34 | GW1 120]
Created: Fri Oct 26 13:05:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rnmrv/in_a_plateau_apparently/
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i reached 120 lb 5 days ago and have been fluctuating within a lb above that since then. i’ve never plateaued before holy fuck i want to die bc i’m so close to my first gw.....solidarity pls?
A little bit of a different kind of question
/u/Sushisavage
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:56:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rnjsm/a_little_bit_of_a_different_kind_of_question/
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Was my ED as bad as I think it was?
(I have been diagnosed. I'm not asking to be diagnosed. I'm just really thinking back to the behaviors I did.)
So I couple of years ago, I lost about 60 pounds in 5 months. About 3 pounds a week, consistently.
I did this by eating 800-1000 calories a day, vigorous cardio for 40-60 minutes, 100 crunches, 40 squats, 40 lunges, 50-100 sets of multiple arm, chest, back reps... I did all of this 5 times a week consistently.
Working out and dieting was my whole life and it was all I'd talk about. I only ate healthy foods, and like I said, very little calories. I would eat 3 meals a day, veggies and some lean meats or eggs. If I ate in between meals I was only allowed fruit.
I got so very upset two times after I went off my diet, so I never did again.
I was constantly dizzy, lightheaded, and collapsing. Often times I would stand up and I would see black or I would fall back down and have to get back up again slower.
So, how fucked up is all of this exactly? Sounds pretty fucked up to type it out, but of course, in the process I thought I was just being healthy.
[Help] HOW TO EAT NORMAL
/u/problemproblem420 [5'6'' | 114 | 18.4 | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:34:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rnd3k/how_to_eat_normal/
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i have given up on ever having normal *thoughts* about food but for the past 2 months i am either fasting, or eating 3000 calories the second food touches my lips and then projectile vomiting. my roommate is really good about getting me to eat, but they don't realize that the second i do end up eating this happens. i don't know which is more harmful.
​
HOW the fuck do i start to just eat any amount of food and keep it in me. i know cals are sometimes retained through stomach regardless of purging but this is sooo not sustainable and im nervous im either going to get very thin or very fat if i don't stop this cycle.
​
also- i know EVERYONE on this sub is asking "how do i eat normal"...im just looking for how to keep small amounts of food in me. :(
[Discussion] What are the most dangerous/fueling things for your ED? How do you try to curb them?
/u/coconutfi [5'9" | 17.1 | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:33:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rncud/what_are_the_most_dangerousfueling_things_for/
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I currently have two going on simultaneously which has me maintaining at a new low weight in the high 16's low 17's (new BMI).
1) Mid-distance relationship: we see each other every 2-4 weeks. I'm able to hide my bad habits and feel like I have to be as small or smaller by the next time I see him.
2) I don't post pictures on social media but said boyfriend does. Now that pictures of me at this low weight are documented, I'm terrified of all his friends "seeing his girlfriend gain weight." Also yoyo-ing shows signs of an uncontrolled ED which is a very embarrassing truth I don't want people to know about me.
I equally love and hate it and am scared where it will lead.
[Other] I’m scared
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rn88u/im_scared/
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I’m a first year in college and for the most part I’m eating at maintenance (aside for some binges caused by hunger/stress) and trying not to restrict. Even though I’m eating at maintenance, it’s hard to shake the mentality off. I still do the things I did when I was hardcore restricting (throwing away food people give me, eating only safe foods, obsessing over menus, etc). I usually turn down spontaneous offers to go out to eat because I’m scared I’ll go over. When I do accept these offers, it usually turns into a binge.
I can’t imagine life without worrying about calories. It’s so hard to stop myself from binging. My obsession with food is causing a lot of unnecessary stress. I think the one thing motivating me to not actively try and lose weight is how much I love to study and how much I love my major (where my CS/engineering ED pals at?) I really want to do well in school and look for as many opportunities to build my career as I can (ya gurl is a space whore), but always in the back of my mind is food and calories. I’m not sick enough to get help, but I’m still in distress.
There is no point to this ramble. I just wanted to let some stuff out.
[Discussion] Art therapy ideas
/u/riseaboveitx
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:16:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rn7mx/art_therapy_ideas/
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I recently got into art therapy and am making a journal in an old textbook (to be discreet at work, as well as recycle it). My own ideas are getting very repetitive, does anyone have any prompt ideas? I like magazine collages, sketches, oil pastels, poetry, and water color.
Some ones that I’ve done for example are “what does your eating disorder look like,” or “what rules do you have to follow,” and “what would life without it be like?”
Thank you in advance!
[Rant/Rave] This is why we can't have nice things!
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:15:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rn78h/this_is_why_we_cant_have_nice_things/
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Safe foods are such an illusion. Lately *everything* can kick me right into binge mood. Foods that were 'safe' before suddenly taste a-freaking-mazing and it's a real test to put it away again.
I cannot buy food that I find even remotely tasty anymore; my low cal hummus? Gone in two minutes. Cottage cheese? Same thing. Soy milk? I chug the entire carton. Even the fancy granola I have for breakfast which is wayyyy too expensive to buy more than twice a month - a fact that has effectively kept my hands out of there until now - is no longer off limits.
Guess from now on my diet will consist of lettuce and green vegetables. I can't even eat fruit anymore without immediately wanting to binge.
Can I please just get my self control back?!
ways to purge easier
/u/ahxgao
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:08:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rn597/ways_to_purge_easier/
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im very squeamish. sticking my fingers down my throat is very difficult, ive only ever done it successfully once. is there any other way? google isnt helpful for me.
[Rant/Rave] This is why we can't have things!
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:05:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rn490/this_is_why_we_cant_have_things/
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Safe foods are such an illusion. Lately *everything* can kick me right into binge mood. Foods that were 'safe' before suddenly taste a-freaking-mazing and it's a real test to put it away again.
I cannot buy food that I find even remotely tasty anymore; my low cal hummus? Gone in two minutes. Cottage cheese? Same thing. Soy milk? I chug the entire carton. Even the fancy granola I have for breakfast which is wayyyy too expensive to buy more than twice a month - a fact that has effectively kept my hands out of there until now - is no longer off limits.
Guess from now on my diet will consist of lettuce and green vegetables. I can't even eat fruit anymore without immediately wanting to binge.
Can I please just get my self control back?!
[Rant/Rave] Wild Friday night
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 50.5kg |BMI 17.89 | GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Fri Oct 26 12:04:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rn3zh/wild_friday_night/
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After being backed up for the last few days, I decided I'd get some yummy cereal this evening to have for dinner (fibre yay!). As I was sitting alone in my dorm eating my pathetic bowl of cereal, I got an overwhelming wave of loneliness/depression etc etc.
Next thing I now I've eating 3/4 of the box of cereal, about 4 bowls in total. Then proceeded to purge it all out.....
Here's hoping I still get the benefits of the fibre ha!
Just broke 100lbs...this is the heaviest I’ve been in years
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:43:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmx47/just_broke_100lbsthis_is_the_heaviest_ive_been_in/
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I don’t know what to do. I’m devastated. I literally want to kill myself. How do I lose all this weight? I just want to be in the low 90s again😭
I weighed myself for the first time in months
/u/paavlover
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:41:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmwhs/i_weighed_myself_for_the_first_time_in_months/
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I was at a gas station and there were those scale things that you had to pay a quarter to use so I did
The last time I weighed myself was about 5 or 6 months ago and I was 99 lbs
It said I weighed 118.4 pounds
I almost had a complete breakdown in the fucking gas station. I know the scale was not accurate because I know for a fact I could not have gained 20 lbs. My frame is the same as it was when I last weighed myself. The most I could weigh right now is 105
I don't know why I'm so hung up over this, I just feel terrible about it. I'm probably between 100 and 105 and holy fuck I feel like shit about it
[Tip] PSA about keeping warm
/u/BladderPatrol
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:40:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmwbn/psa_about_keeping_warm/
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I just wanted to give a huge shoutout to hot water bottles and electric blankets. I currently don’t have an electric blanket, but when I did I was the warmest and coziest ever.
Hot water bottles are a complete lifesaver for me. I can’t sleep if I’m cold so I’ll heat one up and cuddle with it or stick it on my icy feet until I get nice and toasty.
PSA Torani Sugar Free Pumpkin Syrup is >>>>> Starbucks Pumpkin Syrup
/u/littlecesardeepdish [5'9 | CW: 135 | GW:116 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:40:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmw5e/psa_torani_sugar_free_pumpkin_syrup_is_starbucks/
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I bought this stuff yesterday hoping and dreaming it would compare to Starbucks pumpkin syrup which I hardly ever get because its got so many calories. Well I have it today in coffee, and some vanilla soy milk, and I put it in the freezer to make it a little slushy, and it is AMAZING. I am thinking I will probably roast a sweet potato and blend it into the syrup. The taste is there but Id love it to be a little thicker and more pumpkiny. If you can find this, and you love PSL, but don't want the calories, I highly recommend it.
I got called “tiny” today. It didn’t make me feel good. It’s just factually untrue.
/u/trytostay
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:34:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmud0/i_got_called_tiny_today_it_didnt_make_me_feel/
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I’m 5’ 10” and currently 150lbs. I have a small waist, sure, but I am not tiny. I’m a size 8 in pants. Sometimes a 6 if it’s vanity sizing. That isn’t “tiny.”
I was at this event with the family I nanny for and all of the mom’s friends kept commenting on how “cute” and “tiny” I was. I repeat: I am five fucking foot ten. One of them even squeezed my waist. It was embarrassing and weird and didn’t make me feel good because it was so...*fake.*
If I was a size 2 or 4, sure, then I’d be pretty small at my height. But I’m not. I’m slightly over average if we’re being honest. I almost wanted to say that to them.
What was the point of them even doing that? It was fake, weird, and felt so unnecessary. This isn’t even me having body dysmorphia. This is just blatantly looking at the numbers. A BMI of 21.5 isn’t small. It’s average. It’s very average if not heavier than average.
It just made me feel worse about myself. I don’t know why people comment on other people’s bodies. I like to pretend no one even looks at or notices my body but today’s events ruined that for me.
[Other] this blog post cheered me up today like "maybe I'm not a failure, i'm just sensitive to carbs" (bc i always struggle with gaining weight when i live with other people... and social eating involves a lotttt more carbs than what i eat alone...my hunger level goes up exponentially the more carbs i eat)
/u/kalianda
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:28:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rms88/this_blog_post_cheered_me_up_today_like_maybe_im/
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https://aeon.co/essays/hunger-is-psychological-and-dieting-only-makes-it-worse
[Goal] 120 by 21- The Final Update
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 117.8 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:27:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rms09/120_by_21_the_final_update/
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Its October 26. I am 21 years old today (yeet).
I’m back at my parent’s house and just weighed myself. I was a little nervous to do so bc I had a few drinks at midnight-1:30 am.
116.4 lbs 🎉.
Thank y’all for going on this journey with me. Now I’m double sure I can hit that 115 before Thanksgiving.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me..
/u/fuckingeffy [20 | 5'5 | CW: 170 | BMI: 27 | GW1: 140 | Enby]
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:26:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmrqb/my_boyfriend_of_almost_a_year_broke_up_with_me/
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So I stopped eating. It’s been on and off. Five days no food, two days two bites of food. Either way, I’m losing weight finally. So glad he’s not around forcing me to eat now.
[Help] My only goals are weight-related, and I'm failing at them.
/u/Newthrowyaccount [5'2 | CW: 135 :/ | GW: back to 120 | UGW: 105]
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:10:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmmo5/my_only_goals_are_weightrelated_and_im_failing_at/
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I was talking to someone yesterday and the topic turned to depression, and what our goals/aspirations for the future are. I didn't really have any, since nothing interests me a lot anymore. Then I realized one of them was to weigh 120 or less again. But I keep binging, I binged last night and I feel like poop today and I've been putting everything off and just eating and wasting my life away and I want to keep crying and go back to sleep :(
[Rant/Rave] Fuck this
/u/CreativeCondition
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmlzf/fuck_this/
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I'm freezing cold even with a blanket and a heavy knitted jumper, I'm lightheaded and can hardly feel my finger, but hey, at least I've only eaten 650 calories today. It's still a lot but w/e.
I feel so weak, but also nice and frail.
Mum's taking me to a pub tomorrow, so I won't be eating until 1:30pm tomorrow to save my calories. Fun. :'D
[Other] pray 4 my gut
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:06:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmlgi/pray_4_my_gut/
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So I tried Splenda's Stevia/Erythitol blend today instead of the usual sucralose. It tasted sooooo much like sugar, if not sweeter. The texture, the taste, the EVERYTHING. I used to eat sugar by the spoonful,so it makes sense that i ate like galf the jar by the spoonful as well. Fuck sucralose, stevia mixed with Erythitol is bae as fuck. Unfortunately its more expensive tho and not as easy to dissolve. :(
Keep in mind that Erythitol is a natural HARDCORE lax, especially when consumed in large quantities like my dumbass did.
Then, I proceeded to have half a jar of kimchi for lunch, which is also lowkey a bit lax.
Man, my gut fucking hates me right now and I feel like my insides are turning inside out. Pray for me y'all omfg
[Rant/Rave] legs ?!
/u/nomnomair
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:02:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmk54/legs/
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MY LEGS THEY BE DOIN THINGS FINALLY ????? HECK FUCK YEAH !!!
lil life rant ahead
this week has been awful I've missed most days of school this week, I went to the hospital for attempted suicide and all these other things have been happening that I don't really want to repeat.
anyways I've been low restricting since the hospital eating at most some mandarins (cuties? little citrus thingys) a day except one day I had to eat speghetti (yikes pasta). well I was doing my body checks today and oooooh boy stuff be happening. my stomach isn't pudging out like before, my calves are slimming down, and my thighs while I still hate them they're starting to move from each other more !!! there's like space between them not a lot of space but ooooh space what the heck ! that's like the best thing that has come from this god awful week and even though this won't last too long until I feel shit about my body again heck I'll take it for now !
I want to be healthy so badly
/u/deanhipchester [5' | lmao | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 11:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmjj0/i_want_to_be_healthy_so_badly/
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I love watching vegan vloggers and fitness people but honestly watching them put unnecessary high-calorie powders or things into everything makes me nervous (I'm looking @ u hemp seeds)
two things from your neighborhood disordered eatin’ homebody
/u/TinyJarOfRocks [5’1 | CW 107 GW 95]
Created: Fri Oct 26 10:46:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmeud/two_things_from_your_neighborhood_disordered/
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White chocolate raspberry is by far the best quest bar flavor, y’all lead me in the wrong direction for so long
But more importantly i have a huge crush on a dude in the mall who I have never talked to IN MY LIFE. But he checks me tf out every time I’m there, and I hardly have enough confidence to approach him. I keep telling myself “when I hit my gw I’ll talk to him” but that’s never gonna happen so what do??
[Rant/Rave] Fml whole family knows I purge and mom wants me to take a semester off
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 10:34:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmb2t/fml_whole_family_knows_i_purge_and_mom_wants_me/
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I just don't know what to do. First I find out that my mom and dad are having marriage problems and moving back to the U.S. I'm so happy to see them, duh, but my whole family gathered at my apartment to "talk this out". At this point, I haven't seen my mom in months, and don't know how much weight I've dropped (10ish pounds? Not a lot), we talked all night about what to do and if we should all get family therapy etc. Then they all left except my sister. I'm anxious and need to purge, so I ate a bunch of popcorn and did the nasty shit once my sister was in bed.
Next morning my mom made an excuse to have the others all leave after force feeding me cinnamon rolls for a family breakfast. Then she sat down and said I have a problem and that she's concerned and that it's not a secret that I purge. Even my littlest sister goddamn knows and I just don't know what to do. My mom wants me to leave college and come up to live with them near my other sisters. I can't do that and I won't do that, no fucking way. Then when I voiced that, she said she could move down here but the schools around here are shit and sexual assault stats around here are terrifying so I told her I really didn't think that would be a good idea and that the places around here don't allow pets (true).
She's coming down to visit now for the third weekend in a row and I just don't know what to do. I don't really have a reason for posting this; I just need to vent. I'm so panicked and terrified that we're gonna argue or not get along because of this, but I can't just give it up and I'm a terrible liar. I'm going to not purge at all this weekend obvs, but I'm terrified that we're going to have another "long talk" and I just can't handle that. I love her so much but this is really hard for me. If i wasn't doing this i know I'd probably be in worse shape, probably doing drugs or something, because reality isn't my cup of tea, and my ED is the only thing keeping me going sometimes. The irony is that I started out kinda wanting people to notice and worry about me, but now that they have I'm screwed and more terrified than ever.
[Rant/Rave] Other subs are full of assholes
/u/FitCelery3 [5'7" | 118| b/f 11.4%| UGW 113 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 10:34:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rmauu/other_subs_are_full_of_assholes/
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Not just other diet and fitness-related, but in general. And not just to me. People lose their souls on reddit. Thank you proED for being such a supportive space.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling great
/u/not_arunner
Created: Fri Oct 26 10:03:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rm152/feeling_great/
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Someone complimented my COLLARBONES today. I’ve literally never had that happen before.
Hands-free purging
/u/sugafreedreams [18M / 181cm 🏳️🌈 Highest BMI: 30.3 / Current BMI: 16.9]
Created: Fri Oct 26 10:01:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rm0g1/handsfree_purging/
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How many of you guys are able to purge without having to use the gag reflex, and how has the ability affected your eating disorder? I'm doing this thread because I'm pretty sure that the ability is somewhat rare, up until some months ago I had absolutely no idea that it was even possible. That was until one fateful burp in the shower after a big meal.
I'm personally a very efficient hands-free purger, I can basically just bend over and projectile vomit everything out by manually using muscles in my abdomen to apply pressure on the stomach. Purging for me is 10 times faster than actually eating, I can take a completely normal length bathroom break and throw up the entire meal in less than one minute. It's completely silent too, nobody would be able to tell that I'm throwing up even if they literally had their ear to the bathroom door and were trying to figure out if I'm doing it or not. I've even came up with ways to silence the sound of vomit hitting the toilet water without having to slow things down.
On how it's affected my eating disorder, it has made things much much worse. Purging kinda opens the Pandora's box, why restrict if I can just eat 5000 calories a day and still lose weight while already being underweight? Why not eat this pizza if I can just bring it back up in 1 minute without any discomfort or effort? If I could just snap my fingers and get rid of this ability, I would have to start taking responsibility for the things I eat again.
Even though I didn't appreciate it at the time, I really miss being in control of my calories without a "safety net" to take care of slip-ups. Eating junk food in allowed calories used to be actually special and someting to look forward to, now it's just boring and dull, but I still can't stop eating it. Hands-free purging is like riding a bike, it complicates things and you can't unlearn it. There's really no going back without weight gain for me here.
[Help] Anxiety over body composition class
/u/Butterfly_Rose
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:50:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlwtk/anxiety_over_body_composition_class/
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Sooo I'm in university and next week we have a body composition lab experiment.
We're going to take weight, height, BMI, skin folds, waist circumference and all that jazz.
On the one hand, I'm triggered to loose as much as possible by then.
On the other hand I'm aware that I am underweight. I don't think my friends have noticed but this lab might bring that to light.
So I don't know what to do. It's a great way for me to finally get some accurate measurements of where I am, but I don't want other people to know.
I addition to that one of my friends is such a small and petite girl who's just goals, I don't want to see hers and know how rubbish I am compared.
Hence the anxiety around next week.
What shall I do??
Body check
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:44:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlv65/body_check/
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Height: 5’1
Weight: 114
weight
/u/kahmanee [6’2” | 180 | 23.1 | 80+ lbs | Male]
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:40:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rltyw/weight/
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does anyone purposely not tell people their weight because you want them to guess??? lmao my cousin asked me how much i weighed and i said “how much do you think?” and he guessed 10 pounds lower than i actually do weigh so it made me kind of happy ngl
V8: My real MVP.
/u/succumbmum [5'3"| 160 | 28.3 | -80lbs | Lady]
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlqkv/v8_my_real_mvp/
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I mean, halo top and white monster are the greats. But the real hero in my life is V8. It’s lowish calories(70) it takes my shakes away, gives me energy, and it gets me some sort of veg when I don’t eat for the day.
[Rant/Rave] Daily food log for class gonna get me red flagged
/u/angerypeech
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlpm7/daily_food_log_for_class_gonna_get_me_red_flagged/
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So for a lab we have to do in college we have to keep a good log of what we eat in a day. Mine added up to 97 calories. I think my professor was really concerned and I’m probably gonna get called to the deans office (I’ve been red flagged for an eating disorder before). Yikes when do I learn to fake it??
Lunch Time Meetings
/u/IncredibleMsDee
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:16:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlm9o/lunch_time_meetings/
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I'm not sure this applies to most members, but I have a friend who keeps trying to meet up for lunch. Which I hate because it's my yoga time and I fast during the day. I've been on a pretty good track of not cheating or messing up my daytime fast, but I need more excuses to miss lunch with friends.
Or a way to meet up for lunch and not order food or be tempted to order. The moment I'm there I'm going to eat.
Bad grocery shopping day :(
/u/annxiouss
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:13:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rllb6/bad_grocery_shopping_day/
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So yesterday was my day to go grocery shopping since I had just gotten paid. I had everything planned out of what I was going to buy, but then my boyfriend and one of our friends decided to shop with me (we all work at the same grocery store) soooo I couldn’t get everything I wanted. There is lots of high calorie stuff in my kitchen now and I hate it. Luckily I got some fruits and vegetables as well as light soup. Going on hopefully a 72 hour fast now.
I am in HELL
/u/strangerousdangers [5'3 |115|GW 105 |-20lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rljxi/i_am_in_hell/
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Y’all I am really pissed about this altho I get that the medical system is looking out for my health. I got Vyvanse prescribed for my bulimia and it is a very effective appetite suppressant.
SO for the first time in FOREVER I don’t constantly want to stuff my face with food.
But they won’t prescribe it to me if my BMI goes under 22 and I’m at 22.05 right now. I guess I will just have to maintain :(
[Discussion] Restricters: how do you keep from being physically exhausted?
/u/magicalpixiedust [Hugh Mungus]
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:02:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlhq3/restricters_how_do_you_keep_from_being_physically/
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I can’t help but keep feeling so physically tired all the time... Even when I’m in the shower I feel like it’s too much. How do you deal with this?
[Help] How do you let go of food rituals?
/u/fight-me-grrm
Created: Fri Oct 26 09:01:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlh6q/how_do_you_let_go_of_food_rituals/
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I’m trying to recover, and I have all sorts of resources that I’m using to work on my binging, purging, and restricting... but honestly I feel like the thing that started all of this and makes me relapse is the rituals, you know?
I have to eat certain foods in certain ways and in certain orders and I feel that I don’t enjoy food as much if I try to eat “normally.” Even when I was “recovered” I still couldn’t let go of the rituals. Any tips or strategies?
[Help] Anyone have a fix for nausea caused by water?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Fri Oct 26 08:58:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rlgdj/anyone_have_a_fix_for_nausea_caused_by_water/
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Weird i know, but water makes me nauseous. I can sip on about 16 - 32 oz throughout the day, but if i drink more than roughly 3oz at once it makes me throw up. I can’t drink cold water at all cause i get shooting pain and nausea.
The only time water doesn’t bother me is when i’m eating or I’ve exercised really hard.
It’s also not a contamination issue - only drink bottled water and every brand does this to me.
Any suggestions? I really need to increase my water without eating
No self control
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Fri Oct 26 08:48:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rld9k/no_self_control/
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I can go a whole day without food only to binge really bad the next day I can’t do this I need will power and determination I will loose the weight and I will stop hating my body!!!
How do you do it
/u/--koalatea--
Created: Fri Oct 26 08:34:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rl9ds/how_do_you_do_it/
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I can’t stop myself from eating I’m so hungry I need to loose the weight but I can only go a day then I binge until I’m sick the next how do you get through it I’ve got to stop!!! I need to loose the weight and I will loose the weight I’m tired of hating my body!
My stomach growling at night makes me happy
/u/yoolu21
Created: Fri Oct 26 08:32:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rl8ta/my_stomach_growling_at_night_makes_me_happy/
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Since a breakup 5 months ago, My ED got triggered so hard. I went from 134 to my lowest in 5 years at 110 at 5’1. I’m trying harder to discipline myself and not be stuffed and full.
The past 3 days I end with only a snack at work at 4. Either Greek yogurt or egg whites. My stomach growls at bedtime and I smoke weed to sleep. My stomach growls and that is keeping me going. In my head the growl means my body is exerting more energy to tell me it needs food.
And I have the stronger willpower to just go to sleep and say no.
waiting for the woosh
/u/tnykn [5'10 | 138 | BMI 19.8 | 45 | 19F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 08:19:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rl4zw/waiting_for_the_woosh/
---
Usually when I restrict (\~600-900 cal/day) I can lose about 2 lbs a week, but this week I gained two and its been static ever since... I think I've read every post on here about wooshing to keep myself from giving up, but it's discouraging because I've never had this problem for so long before :( Does anyone know what I can do to bring on the woosh / stay motivated, i am suffering
​
thank you
When do you start feeling the effects of low restriction?
/u/dxylightt [5’2 | 119 | GW1: 108 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 08:14:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rl3i8/when_do_you_start_feeling_the_effects_of_low/
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There’s been a lot of stress with my family lately and it’s caused my appetite to plummet, so for the past week I’ve just been subsisting on an apple and cheese stick and one large Dunkin Donuts latte a day. I dont know how many calories it is altogether because the latte calories confuse me, but I know the daily total is probably under 500. I do take multivitamins everyday because ~health.~
This morning I woke up feeling out of it, and still do. My head hurts, my memory is foggy, and I just feel like I could sleep for 100 years. Because I’m a hypochondriac, my brain instantly goes to “You’re dying,” but I know it’s just probably the restriction.
When do you actually start feeling the effects of low restriction? Am I just being over dramatic/paranoid or am I feeling like this because of my intake this past week?
[Discussion] other people eating in public?
/u/i_b_p_r [5'9" - 17f - cw 200lbs - bmi 29.5 - gw 125 lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 26 08:12:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rl2rs/other_people_eating_in_public/
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obligatory long time lurker first time posting, so i’m sorry if this is formatted weird or the flare is wrong
so i’m currently in my ap human geography class and it’s dead quiet. then this random girl just starts crunching away on some potato chips.
and idk why but everything about that just made me so anxious. from the sound to the actual act of eating while others notice, it just made me want to cry.
i’m also on day 2 of a fast, and i just overall feel like garbage so maybe that has something to do with my reaction.
can anyone else relate to this?
[Other] 90 Day Fiancé as thinspo
/u/queenofflavortown [5'0"|CW 137lbs|HW 175|GW 120|F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 07:53:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rkx4h/90_day_fiancé_as_thinspo/
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Does anyone else watch this show? I just found it on Hulu and started watching the first season and by god is it the best thinspo I’ve found. All the foreign wives are so small and dainty and beautiful! I know how I’m spending the next few days - binge-watching this instead of binge eating cupcakes ✌🏻 have a fab weekend y’all!
[Rant/Rave] I’m not losing weight
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Fri Oct 26 07:39:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rkt3r/im_not_losing_weight/
---
I just don’t get it guys. I’ve been at 151 for two weeks now. I don’t eat more than 400 calories. I drink a lot of water. I took laxatives yesterday. I don’t understand how this is physically possible.
[Rant/Rave] Motivation
/u/yellowposy2
Created: Fri Oct 26 07:23:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rkoqu/motivation/
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So since recovery I’ve weighed myself several times, especially at the end of the summer, and I would routinely see between 123 and 127 lbs. I saw 126 on the scale in early September and I figured I must be gaining from there. Today was my first chance since then to weigh myself on a scale I trust and it said 120.0. What the fuck. How have I not gained. I feel enormous. I’ve been doing OMAD this week and on/off for the last 2 weeks but I thought I was getting really big. I was thinking of making breakfast but seeing that number on the scale was all I needed to know it’s not worth it.
How do you stop yourself overeating at night??
/u/Firebug__
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rkb5z/how_do_you_stop_yourself_overeating_at_night/
---
First time poster, long time ED. I’m 18 and was diagnosed Anorexia B/P at 12.
If you’re curious about my stats; (who with an ED isn’t?? Lol)
168cm ~45kg or 5”6 ~100lbs
Osteoporosis (T score -2.6)
Didn’t finish VCE because of ED so I’m an ex high achiever turned friendless dropout
I don’t think about being “thin” anymore. I don’t actively restrict. I just have a habit that keeps my weight stable. Sometimes I binge (1500cals+) without purging, other times I’ll purge after a salad... EDs are weird.
ANYWAY I’m out of high school with no routine. I have a job but it’s shift work (sometimes 9am-3pm, 10pm-7am, and everything inbetween)
I’ve started binging at night - and it’s not hunger. My hunger signals broke a long time ago lol.
But I’m bloated every morning (or afternoon) I wake up and it’s driving me insane.
Just wondering how you personally stop yourself from stuffing your face at night 😩
Decided to treat myself at the coffee shop...nearly had a breakdown
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rkarp/decided_to_treat_myself_at_the_coffee_shopnearly/
---
I am legit up all night unable to sleep because i think of all the snacks and treats i miss. Its almost an obsession. I decided as ive kept under 300 cals for 2 days i can have a treat at costa with my low cal coffee.
So i pick a cinnamon bun, 348cals. I log that and my coffee into my notes and i sit down ready to enjoy.
Then i start feeling uneasy. Im looking at it and ive been dying for a treat but it doesnt feel right.
So, i cut a bit off and im struggling to have a bite. Im struggling to do it. I have one bite and i didnt enjoy it one bit. It was delicious but i just couldnt do it to myself
So im sat there with one piece of this bun eaten in the middle of a busy costa hyperventilating
I ended up binning the rest..
I have never actually felt afraid of food before
got a tiny woosh after eating pizza! (what?!)
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:107.8 | bmi: 19.1 | F | 24]
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:25:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rk9ef/got_a_tiny_woosh_after_eating_pizza_what/
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and im so excited! i was stuck at 109.2 exactly for a few days, trying to ignore it. finally i decided to fast to break past it, and i went down to 108.6. not bad, but i was hoping for more.
so yesterday i had to visit family and had two (big) slices of pizza as my only intake. I figured, well it was good to see 108 for a day cause this is definitely gonna bloat me up back to 109 tomorrow. but instead i dropped down again to 107.8 (without even having a bm!) i literally lost more weight after eating two slices of pizza than nothing at all, thanks woosh lol.
and to top is off, my pajama sweater is starting to fall off my shoulder c: im sending these good woosh vibes to all of you guys too!
[Rant/Rave] Omg Kiernan Shipka is so tiny and perfect!! Have y'all seen her???!!!!
/u/NutelllaBellla
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:18:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rk7uk/omg_kiernan_shipka_is_so_tiny_and_perfect_have/
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Guys, that new Netflix show's actress, Kiernan Shipka is 5'2" and weighs 100 lbs according to Google. I just followed her on Insta and she is goals! Especially because she is close to my height! Short thinspo for all my shorties out there! ❤❤❤❤
Just had to rave lol
[Rant/Rave] My mom told me she's "starting to get concerned"
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 116.4| BMI 18.8| 26F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:17:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rk7fz/my_mom_told_me_shes_starting_to_get_concerned/
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Last night I saw my mom for the first time in maybe a week or 2. She has taken to commenting on my weight every time she sees me now and last night she said I'm "way too skinny" and she's "starting to get concerned." I told her I haven't lost any more weight than the last time she's seen me (which I think is true. Maybe 1-2 lbs). Also, I spent the past two days eating like shit. The comments made me feel so ashamed and uncomfortable that instead of being kind and telling her she doesn't need to worry, I was a jerk and said "I don't know what you want me to tell you," then changed the subject. I don't want her to worry about me. I don't want her to make comments. I just want to keep losing weight. So of course this morning I woke up and ran almost 4.5 miles and I plan on keep my net intake <500. I don't know why I keep doing this when I know it's upsetting to my family. Ugh, I just needed to get this out somewhere because I feel like a shit daughter.
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:11:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rk65s/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 26, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! October 26, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:11:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rk64s/daily_food_diary_october_26_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 26, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Intro] Rant about my mother
/u/dietcokebitch
Created: Fri Oct 26 06:10:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rk5xc/rant_about_my_mother/
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TLDR: Mum simultaneously makes me feel guilty for eating AND not eating. Want to punch her in the face even though i love her.
Godddd I am so fucking tired of being fat. I feel obese. Like a land whale and it kills me.
I went through anxiety induced bulimia 5yrs ago and dropped 40lb or so in a couple of months. I couldn’t eat and when I did it came back up. I slept 3 hours a night and started feeling dead inside but also more attractive than I’ve ever been. I was 17 and fucked in the head but god did I look amazing!
Tonight mum went off at me about how hard it is to find somewhere to eat out because she feels guilty when I won’t eat where they go. I get what she means but she said it in such a .... gaslighting type of way I guess. I told her (in a snarky tone i will admit) that she didn’t have to invite me and that I was sorry i had food anxiety and an eating disorder which just made her pull the whole “god I can never win with you” face.
I’m fucking sorry you have spent most of your life cooking amazing but high calorie food and then also think that what you dish up is a normal serving (hint: it fucking isn’t, it’s a serving for a king).
Except I’m not sorry. Fuck you.
Let me eat my goddamn vegetarian burrito in peace instead of making me feel guilty for eating, but then making me feel guilty for not eating.
I want to rip my hair out; rant over LOL.
[Rant/Rave] You are a badass warrior and should be proud (slightly lame post)
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1.4 | CW: 184 | BMI: 24.3| HW: 370| M]
Created: Fri Oct 26 05:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rjzs8/you_are_a_badass_warrior_and_should_be_proud/
---
This week I've been thinking about this community and others with ED's... I just feel so much love for all of you. I know your disorder does not allow you to be proud of yourself or to recognize this (I know mine fucking does not), but you are all badass warriors who have been struggling and surviving for years and I just wanted to acknowledge that for y'all.
Armed with caffeine a staggering amount of self-awareness and self-hatred, you all fight so god damned hard everyday that you sometimes forget there are people who are not at war. Whether not eating till you pass out, eating till you have to throw up, or eating till you hate every part of yourself, the battles are always shifting. All of this while a fucking voice in your head is telling you that you are nothing but a fat loser who is too weak and does not deserve happiness and every look in the mirror just confirms those "facts".
Hope everyone stays safe in their battles and can recognize for a small moment how awesome you all are--end of random positivity.
​
[Help] 42bpm? help?
/u/officialrogersmith
Created: Fri Oct 26 05:29:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rjwf4/42bpm_help/
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I don't know where else to turn to.
I monitor my heart rate pretty closely (with my phone) and since my ed has come back it dropped from average 60-70bpm to 40-50bpm.
I'm 19f, I don't know my exact weight but I am not underweight, I eat a lot of protein, and in average like 1100kcal a day. Could this have another cause? What should I do?
[Help] Does anyone have any experience with these teas/supplements? List in comments.
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Fri Oct 26 04:45:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rjn3q/does_anyone_have_any_experience_with_these/
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https://i.redd.it/q575a7gpeiu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] So I haven't eaten in 4 days
/u/lightfeathers [5'5" |🍑 lightfeathers | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 04:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rjk2h/so_i_havent_eaten_in_4_days/
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And holy fuck showering and getting dressed is so exhausting. I wanna die.
On the upside, I finally got a woosh and lost 3 pounds overnight.
[Other] Four pound “whoosh”! Thank you Jay-sus!
/u/_Pulltab_ [5'7"| CW 158.6| 24.8| F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 04:15:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rjh6d/four_pound_whoosh_thank_you_jaysus/
---
https://i.redd.it/3obrjqgd9iu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I’m definitely drinking too much
/u/suckmyhugedong
Created: Fri Oct 26 04:10:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rjg87/im_definitely_drinking_too_much/
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I’ve been gaining weight even though I’m trying not to eat, and I realize it’s because I’m drinking waaaay too much.
I drink vodka with any sugar free mixer (water if I’m desperate lol) and I feel like such a fat fuck.
It’s gotten to a point where I can drink a bottle of vodka without throwing up or being hungover 😫
And drinking is the only thing that gives my life meaning so yeah 🙃
I hate myself and I really want to eat lol
[Rant/Rave] fuck
/u/isaezraa [165 cm | cw 52 | gw 48 | 16 f ]
Created: Fri Oct 26 04:00:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rje7g/fuck/
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i just overate by like 1400 calories, puting me at 1800 for today, which while it is a little below my TDEE, i have a halloween party tomorrow night and i’m so scared im going to be bloated and look fat in my costume. i didn’t even get to work out today so there’s literally nothing i can do for damage control, and i cant purge since i just drank a lot of water and thats all that will come up. fuck im so mad at myself
[Rant/Rave] Rehoming my dog, restricting because im sad.
/u/zeneith [5'7 | CW 147.7 | BMI 22.6 | SW 211.6| UGW 110]
Created: Fri Oct 26 03:39:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rja7r/rehoming_my_dog_restricting_because_im_sad/
---
We have to rehome my baby because my mother’s allergies are getting bad and my bf’s family cant take him in. my friends are not dog lovers / already own a dog so they cant take him in either. ive been feeling so depressed and cried alot looking at him jumping around happily when he sees me and him sleeping peacefully, not knowing his fate tomorrow when he’s going to live with his new owner (they met already, my dog seemed okay with them). i have no appetite and only ate 2 slices of bread in 48 hours. i feel safe not eating, and that i deserve it for giving him up. i really dont deserve him :(
[Rant/Rave] For the love of god, please stop commenting on my weight in my photos.
/u/vanillabake
Created: Fri Oct 26 03:12:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rj4xq/for_the_love_of_god_please_stop_commenting_on_my/
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Seriously. People ask me to be more active on social media. I’m proud of something I found at the consignment store the other day, a pair of TNA leggings (in xxs!!) and a brandy Melville top for less than $15 for the pair.
“Girl! Eat a burger your so skinny!!”
“You look so unhealthy!”
“Put on some weight good god!”
Well. I’ll have you know Sharon, I like many people have been suffering from depression and anxiety. Especially about my body. Thank you for calling me out, instead of writing a private message if you were truly concerned about me.
Are these comments suppose to be compliments? Are some of these people “jealous” I guess? I will never know the motivation behind these poorly thought comments. I swear to god, next time someone asks me the secret to weight loss I’m saying crippling depression
Finally got a thigh gap again! :)
/u/lil_coconut
Created: Fri Oct 26 02:59:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rj2fu/finally_got_a_thigh_gap_again/
---
https://i.redd.it/mrho6xmtvhu11.jpg
My eating disorder made me relapse on drugs
/u/beeeleave [5’4 | 115lbs |19.7bmi |female]
Created: Fri Oct 26 02:57:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rj26e/my_eating_disorder_made_me_relapse_on_drugs/
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Hi guys, I’ve been on a week long bender eating under 300 calories everyday for over a week. I hardly eat actual food just liquids and I’m down to 114lbs and I don’t want to stop until I reach 110lbs though. Thanks for listening I needed to tell someone that. 🖤
please tell me one day of binging is okay
/u/mentalcasethrowaway [1.71m | SW: 69.7kg | CW: 65.7kg | GW: 60kg, 54kg, 50kg | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 02:49:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rj0k3/please_tell_me_one_day_of_binging_is_okay/
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i’ve been averaging 750kCal per day for the last week and then last night i BLEW IT ALL by waiting until the second the clock struck midnight and ate 1703 all in one go. it’s going to increase too because i have a long train ride and then this evening i’m going out for a nice thai meal that was supposed to be my treat. junk food is NEVER worth it. i even forced myself to puke three times which i’ve never done before but only a tiny fraction of all that shit came out of me
yesterday i was my lowest weight i’d ever been. i was 65.5kg and so happy that my work was starting to pay off even though i went over my limit sometimes. please tell me one day of going way over is okay? can i expect to gain much from this? i’m also majorly fretting that i’m subconsciously underestimating my calories
[Discussion] i’m scared to make a dentist appointment
/u/_1oo
Created: Fri Oct 26 02:44:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rizqo/im_scared_to_make_a_dentist_appointment/
---
this past month i have not been restricting. after relapsing three months ago eating ~1,000 cal/day, sometime in the beginning of october i had a cheat meal that turned into a cheat week and soon a cheat month.
i am not bulimic. i do not purge but after i eat ANYTHING i have to brush my teeth. i set the timer for 2 minutes but sometimes i’ll get so angry i’ll brush for 10/15 minutes.
today i ate $25 worth of fast food and half way i started to really hate myself. i got home and brushed so aggressively my gums started to bleed and now they feel so sensitive and are pulsating?
on top of that i think i brushed too often and too hard because my teeth have become extremely sensitive. even the smallest amount of sugar on certain teeth can trigger pain throughout my mouth. and even two of my front teeth feel loose.
i’m not so much scared of my dentist seeing my teeth but i’m scared he’ll say that i’m losing them or something extreme like that.
the point i’m getting at: can anyone with an ed share their dentist stories?
i’m so worried but it’s unavoidable at this point, i think i need to see him because i don’t want my teeth to fall out, but i also don’t want to stop brushing my teeth.
Challenging myself to see how long I can go
/u/livexthroughthis
Created: Fri Oct 26 02:00:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ris8t/challenging_myself_to_see_how_long_i_can_go/
---
I’ve had an ED for around 3 years now but only really started to deteriorate this year, I’m 5”2 and about 100lbs but despite sometimes months of hardcore restricting with no break I’m still not underweight
I’ll aim to eat 500-600 cals a day (or less of course) when I’m hardcore restricting, and 800 on an okay day, but anything more and I’ve over eaten. I like to count the days I successfully restrict and write it down in big letters on a whiteboard in my room because it makes me happy to increase the number each day. To me to increase the number I have to have eaten within the 500-800 (maximum range) and not eaten any of my fear foods (bread, pasta, potatoes, anything with added sugar, anything with over maybe 10-12g of natural sugar (I also don’t eat dairy/meat/fish/eggs as a lifestyle choice), coffee or tea with (non dairy) milk, non dairy cheese/yoghurt, and obviously junk food like crisps, chocolate, biscuits, juice, etc. I won’t even drink diet fizzy drinks to prevent bloating. If I eat even one of these things I have to take my total number of days back down to 0 so it really motivates me to not fuck up. The highest number I got to in a row was 58 and I stopped because it was my birthday and I was so tired, worn up, and desperate I wanted to let myself eat something but immediately after I went back to restricting. Before that I‘ve done things like 38 days in a row with 2 fuck up days, followed by 20 with a fuck up day etc. so most is the time I’m following this pattern
I’ve recently had a period of binge eating which has made me very sad, and I’m now starting again and on day 3. I’ve eaten 550 ish calories yesterday and the day before. However, I just don’t have the same motivation I used to to eat so little but I’m doing my best as I feel pretty shitty at the moment.
I’ve always had an ED and restricted but since I started doing this at the start of the year I’ve lost more weight than in the whole 3 years I’ve had an ED. I know it’s unhealthy for me but I just love the feeling of being able to go to bed and increase the number of consecutive days I’ve not eaten properly and it really really motivates me, I was wondering if anyone else does stuff like this???
So my mum just caught me purging
/u/TheMaddOne15 [5'7" | HW: 186lbs | CW: 122lbs | GW: ?? 0 | 19F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 01:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9riohq/so_my_mum_just_caught_me_purging/
---
I mean the title pretty much sums it up i guess
I'm 19 and I kinda live at home, in that my parents have a little granny flat type of deal at the back of the property that I live in. I don't pay rent per se, but I come up to the house and cook and clean for them most days as a thanks for not charging me to live at home still.
So anyway literally about 20mins ago I was down in mine, tossing my cookies (...and icecream. And muffins. And like nine dim sims, the binge eating has been real this week y'all) and mum walks in without knocking as usual (i love the woman but hot damn she has no boundaries) and is immediately greeted with me doing my thang, my third lunch in the toilet, and my kitchen (not v clean) with evidence of alllllll my shitty eating wrappers laid out everywhere.
So im freaking out a lil going into full blown damage control, but apparently it wasn't necessary, cos mum just hits me with a good ol' 'you're fine, mental disorders/eating disorders don't exist', and 'just stop making bad eating choices'. My favourite was when she told me, and i swear to god you can't make this stuff up, 'you came out of me and I don't do children that have made up disorders.'
So apparently my ed isn't real, that time I dropped 40lbs in two months was just a phase, and all the cuts/scars were just for attention (never mind the fact that she didn't even know about the majority of them until she recently).
Like sometimes I feel like I wanna recover from the hell that is having an ed, but also its crazy hard to figure out how to even do that when apparently none of it is real.
love you mum
[Rant/Rave] Unsure if I want the attention or nah?
/u/angsty_unistudent
Created: Fri Oct 26 00:54:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rig2m/unsure_if_i_want_the_attention_or_nah/
---
So it used to drive me crazy when I would see my extended family for the first time in a while because they would always comment: oh you look like you’ve lost weight!!!!
When I hadn’t at all lmao. Sometimes I had even gained.
Anyway, now I’m 15kg down (like halfway to goal weight which is gr8) and literally no one has noticed. And I don’t know how I feel about that? This makes no sense!!!
Someone called me a fat fuck today
/u/saptashati [5'6" | 153.6 | 24.6 | 26.4 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 00:52:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rifmh/someone_called_me_a_fat_fuck_today/
---
My roommate's boyfriend got black out drunk and started screaming at her and throwing things. My other roommate and I got involved and he screamed and called us hoes and then he screamed at his girlfriend "I can't believe you got her involved. I can't believe you got that fat fuck involved". He was always so nice to me but now I know for sure what everyone is thinking in their true brain. They see me as a fat fuck.
​
[Tip] Sugar Cubes Save Lives (or at least shaking hands)
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Fri Oct 26 00:48:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9riexy/sugar_cubes_save_lives_or_at_least_shaking_hands/
---
Discovered this purely on accident but gosh it's gonna be a figurative life saver-
I was shaking like a fucking chihuahua after a rough binge-purge sesh after a day of not eating, and y'all probably know how that goes: shaking, weak, dizzy, contemplating calling an ambulance whilst also telling yourself you're being dramatic, etc, and then I remember that today we'd gotten sugar cubes instead of sugar for coffee, and I thought hey, maybe Im hypoglycemic! and popped a couple and GUYS I feel okay.
Little tiny 15cal miracles.
Way easier to tolerate than a meal of you need a little reviving.
Cheers to being (slightly) safer!
... or at least less shaky
[Other] I'm proud of myself?
/u/CoffeeAndArt
Created: Fri Oct 26 00:35:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ric8a/im_proud_of_myself/
---
This is such a weird feeling, cause I'm proud of myself after gaining weight and not restricting?
I went away on holidays and leading up until then I had my most successful restricting period ever - I got down 10 kilos! I then ordered my messed up brain that whilst I way away I would eat like a normal person and not let my ED fuck up my dream holiday.
and I actually did it?? And then when I got home and weighed myself ready to cry because I had eaten so much I found I had only gained 2 kilos!!! I was fully expecting myself to be at my starting weight!!!
Basically I'm feeling in control and proud of myself and I'm really happy
Highkey missing my anorexic period
/u/Roabie
Created: Fri Oct 26 00:29:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rib7n/highkey_missing_my_anorexic_period/
---
I was eating 800-1000 calories. I was fasting. My first fast was 3 days, my longest waa 5.5 and most recent was 3. I wanted to keep going, but had to stop when I was shaking and threw up water. Overall, I lost 25lbs from it and kept it off.
Ever since that happened, I've felt like I'm starving. I'm now binging, I can't eat fewer than 1500 calories without shaking and I hate that. I'm craving food and I don't want to. It's making me feel worse than the semi-starvation and fasting did. Fasting is shitty but when I shed the weight, the happiness it gives me is awesome. I'm in a better mood, I feel elated. I feel better about myself.
I want it back. I want to be able to feel fine eating 1000 calories and be able to push through 3-5 days of water fasting. I havent regained weight, but I feel like shit. I got to a point where bad food was a little revolting and I preferred healthy things. Now, I'm craving garbage. Donuts, cookies, fries, candy...
Thay went on for about 8 months. I lost a total of 40 lbs during the whole thing. The only thing that makes me feel bad is when family comments that I've been working hard. Mental strides, maybe. But all I did was starve myself.
[Rant/Rave] Just broke up with my boyfriend and my ED was a big part of it
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Fri Oct 26 00:10:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ri7e8/just_broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_and_my_ed_was_a/
---
We were together for a year and I love him so much. There were a few reasons but the main huge big one was because my ED addled brain thinks if I’m on my own I can restrict as much as I want and no one can stop me, that he’s holding me back from my GW cause he makes me eat.
He never treated me bad, always complimented me and I feel like shit knowing I hurt him. Ugh. Logically I know I would have ended it if it wasn’t for my ED but I HATE MYSELF for it anyway.
Has anyone else here done the same thing?
[Tip] Tip for purgers: hand washing properly!
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Fri Oct 26 00:04:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ri67h/tip_for_purgers_hand_washing_properly/
---
https://i.redd.it/4axzzq480hu11.jpg
"New BMI" - Whoaaa
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 25 23:39:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ri1av/new_bmi_whoaaa/
---
I hadn't heard about this before! Because I'm tall, the new formula reduces my bmi from 20,9 to 20,5!! I am still thinking I want to be looking at the old formula "just to be safe" tho...
What about you guys?
[Rant/Rave] "Fuck Boy" A K.Flay/die Antwoord mashup. This is so my mood right now
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Thu Oct 25 23:30:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhzg0/fuck_boy_a_kflaydie_antwoord_mashup_this_is_so_my/
---
https://youtu.be/83mGZJlS6Xs
[Discussion] If you eat after 12 am do you log your calories as today or the next day?
/u/tinygrl22 [5'1 | CW: 107lbs | 20.2 | 19F |]
Created: Thu Oct 25 23:12:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhvni/if_you_eat_after_12_am_do_you_log_your_calories/
---
I’m just curious what you guys do lol. I personally don’t log calories as the next day until I sleep and wake up the next day, even if It was like 3 am.
Does loseit ever give you negative patterns?
/u/throwawayluckybamboo [5'4" | CW: 145.2 | GW: 125 | LW: 115 | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Oct 25 22:57:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhs8f/does_loseit_ever_give_you_negative_patterns/
---
I just bought the premium version of lose it and am wondering whether it will
Actually tell me any negative patterns? So far it is only positive but some are a little ridiculous...like it tells me you do a good job of fitting alcohol in, when the last three times I had alcohol I went over 2400 calories... I've only been using it for a
Couple weeks so maybe I just need to log for longer?
[Discussion] I’m sure this is a tired issue but I’m short and the new BMI calculator just hurt my feelings 😭
/u/SkinnyFatActually [5’2”| 100 lb|-10| F| 18.3]
Created: Thu Oct 25 22:48:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhq62/im_sure_this_is_a_tired_issue_but_im_short_and/
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So I just learned that in the world of unbiased BMI, I’m not underweight. I was juuuust *barely* underweight this morning with the old fashioned BMI calculator which is exactly where my disordered eating told me I should be. I thought I could finally eat at maintenance (which for me is like 1300 tops), and try to be more healthy for my beautiful son, and myself, and my entire network of amazing people I have and feel like I don’t deserve. But now I “have” (disordered thinking) to be 97 lbs. 3 more lbs doesn’t seem like much but I feel defeated. I feel like crying. My bottom eye lashes were actually wet. I’ve been a shell and a master at compartmentation years and I don’t express my feelings the way other people do, so I was actually wondering what was happening. Also my mom wanted to have my kiddo overnight because he’s AMAZING (he heals souls, I swear) and she’s amazing too but I drank three vodka sodas with lime and now I miss him a lot. Ughhhh :( I love you guys, and I have literally nobody that I would burden this stuff with in real life. Thanks in advance for reading.
Holy shit. First day not binging in like a year??
/u/AndyRectum [5'11" | CW 119 lbs | 25M]
Created: Thu Oct 25 22:26:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhlgu/holy_shit_first_day_not_binging_in_like_a_year/
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I have binged on food for what feels like every single day for the last year. Today I didnt binge on a single thing. I stayed within the calories that I want to and everything. Wow. Feels good knowing I can finally go to sleep without being bloated and hating myself more than usual. We'll see how tomorrow goes. Im not crossing my fingers haha
[Help] trying recovery... help a boy out?
/u/planetskinny
Created: Thu Oct 25 22:19:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhjtr/trying_recovery_help_a_boy_out/
---
hi everyone! so i told my therapist about my “bad eating habits” (as i called it) and we somehow ended with a calorie goal 100 lower than what i was eating to get some normal bodily functions back. (it’s... a long story.)
anyway, i’m so scared. i don’t know whether or not to regret telling her because i do want to recover, but it’s just so hard to talk about. i cried in front of her for the first time, for fucks sake!
has anyone else voluntarily done recovery and it actually worked for a little bit? or recovered while still trying to lose weight but in a healthy way?
i don’t know anymore, you guys. i’m just so conflicted and kind of want to starve but also eat everything in sight, ya feel?
I'm freaking out.
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Thu Oct 25 22:17:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhjhz/im_freaking_out/
---
How do you guys purge bread? Like I need help asap! I couldn't say no without raising suspicions so I literally choked it down and chugged water now I'm alone with the consequences. FUCK MY LIFE
[Help] Has anyone else noticed themselves moving like an elderly person during low points or since having an eating disorder in general?
/u/deadlylikesugar
Created: Thu Oct 25 22:14:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhirm/has_anyone_else_noticed_themselves_moving_like_an/
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Unless I consciously try to move faster, it seems like I’m moving in slow motion without realizing it. I try to consciously remind myself to go faster pretty damn often, but the thought usually only lasts about 10 seconds to maybe a minute at most, before the slow motion re-takes over my unconscious mind until I happened to realize I’m doing it again.
I also am diagnosed with ADD, so it very well could be an ADD thing. Like, I can’t stay focused long enough to have motivation in my movements because I can’t remember where I’m going or what I was supposed to be doing? Or something like that...haha.
But whether or not it’s an ADD thing, it has gotten significantly greater of a problem since being in an ED low point. Also, my posture has done a steady and sharp nose dive along with this slow motion problem despite my activity level remaining the same and no other lifestyle changes. So, hard to believe that’s a coincidence with the timing of the two together along with the ED struggles.
Is it all literally just the result of fucking malnutrition? Can being malnourished destroy enough muscle tissue to keep you from maintaining good posture, and make it feel impossible to move at a normal pace despite wanting to? Or could the cause be something else all together? (Lol hi health anxiety)
Someone, please give it to me softly because I’m way too scared to google this and find out the answer for myself.
[Help] Hardcore Relapse (help)
/u/booberryapocalypse [5'6 | 139.5 | 22.5| -15lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 25 21:50:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rhcy5/hardcore_relapse_help/
---
TW
​
For the first time in two years I purged by vomiting. I binged twice yesterday and purged both times, then binged again and purged, then just finished another binge right now. It's 11:31pm and I feel so so sick and terrible. I hate purging, and I hate how easy it was for me to purge. A good amount of food came up both every time, but logically I know that I still ate enough to gain a shitton of stupid fucking weight. I can't step on the scales. I don't want to.
​
What I ate:
​
Day 1
​
BINGE 1
Oh my god I honestly can't remember but it was a lot. The tipping point was oatmeal, then avocado toast. I went and puked because I was in a terrible mood, and angry at my friends for something stupid. I was like, "this will show them!" even though none of them know I have a history of bulimia and never will.
​
BINGE 2
Small bag of Smartpop popcorn
Family bag of Smartpop popcorn
apple
bag of black licorice
​
DAY 2
BINGE 1
Z-teca chicken burrito bowl with avodaco
Bran muffin
Croissant
Blueberry muffin
California sushi roll
150g Yogurt covered raisins
50g chocolate covered pretzles
​
BINGE 2
3 packets plain oatmeal
2 cups plain greek yogurt
chia seeds
frozen fruit
O Henry bar
150g yogurt covered raisins
300g pasta salad
bag of banana chips
​
I can't count up the calories, I'm not going to do that to myself.
I just want to eat like a normal fucking human being, is that too much to ask for? I don't want to have to carry the emotional and physical baggage from this episode for the next week until my body returns to equilibrium. I wish I could cut and I really really need someone to tell me it's going to be okay. I hate this, I hate myself. I hate that I live this way. How do I stop binging? I'm not going to purge this last binge because I know it'll make me more likely to binge again. In my heart of hearts I know I need to lose 20 pounds to succeed (I want to be an actress). If I ever want to be taken seriously I have to stop this. There's so much pressure and it's making me explode.
I want someone to reassign me a new brain. I could still eat more. Please help, share tips that helped you break binge eating.
​
[Rant/Rave] Am I gonna go on a date with a coworker and risk making work award if things don’t work out just because he called me small?? Fuck yes. 👌😩😩
/u/CrushedOats
Created: Thu Oct 25 21:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rh8ao/am_i_gonna_go_on_a_date_with_a_coworker_and_risk/
---
https://i.redd.it/g2iwsoa79gu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Roommate just accused me of being bulimic
/u/angelakarui
Created: Thu Oct 25 21:17:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rh57v/roommate_just_accused_me_of_being_bulimic/
---
Sooooo yeah. I basically restrict (under 1000 cal, usually between 300-600 cal) a day. I’ll purge if I’m going out that day and feel like what I ate made me bloated and I like to have a flat stomach if I’m going out or working (I dance). Basically one my roommates heard me purging a few times this last week and came to me crying today saying she “felt I was bulimic”. I explained to her I’m not because I don’t binge eat, I just purge, and she said “I feel like you do”. I don’t think she knows what binge eating is. Lol. I rarely ever reach 1000 a day. I’ll purge meals that are like 300 cal. She’s like I see the meals you make (but they’re things like riced cauliflower lettuce wraps which are 150 cal). High volume, low cal. This made me really frustrated. 150 cal isn’t binge eating even if it’s high volume. I work hard to restrict and getting accused of basically doing the opposite is frustrating and kind of fucked. Also feel like my privacy is violated. Thought I’d rant
my sister has my goal body
/u/thrillofyourcharms
Created: Thu Oct 25 20:46:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgxbk/my_sister_has_my_goal_body/
---
and i love/mostly hate that fact.
on one hand its the perfect thinspo around me 24/7 keeping me in line
on the other hand it makes me fucking hate my entire existence because look at how much more beautiful and thin and tall and perfect her body is and look how chubby and short and ugly mine is. it makes me feel like such a fucking failure because shes not even trying to keep a good figure. she eats like shit and has a perfect body. not to mention my brother noticed that hes unintentionally lost weight (fucking triggering) and my dads lost 50 lbs recently so i feel like an absolute worthless failure because i havent lost shit.
Dr. called me fat, I had a panic attack and I'm currently mortified.
/u/Light__Bright [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Oct 25 20:30:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgt9k/dr_called_me_fat_i_had_a_panic_attack_and_im/
---
I went to an urgent care I've never gone to tonight for pain in my side. When I went in to get my stats done, I told the nurse that I have an ED so please do not tell me my weight and I weighed backwards. When the doctor came in to examine me, he started talking about how it's most likely my gall bladder, and how they diagnose it from the "five Fs" and he said, "And you fit most of those, you're 'fair', f......you're not skinny, and.." I tried to keep my cool but I couldn't control the tears. He was like, "What's wrong?" And I said, "You said the thing about my weight, and I have an eating disorder." He said, "I said you're 'not skinny', and that's about the nicest way I could have said it." I started having a panic attack that lasted the rest of the visit, from the time they were taking my blood to when I left. It was awful. And you guys...I'm pretty sure my weight is average for my height, especially since I've been dropping weight lately. Maybe the upper end of average, but definitely not obese. I wear like a 4-6 in pants. I feel crazy though, after that. He even made some comment about how I must have a "high fat diet" and I told him that I'm a vegetarian, and he was like, "Yeah but peanut butter has lots of fat," with a smug face. Ugh. Definitely lowering my daily calories now.
What are your goals for the end of 2018? Weight loss or otherwise.
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 20:29:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgstf/what_are_your_goals_for_the_end_of_2018_weight/
---
Mine are to lose 8 lbs and be at my lowest weight ever, so I can start 2019 going into completely unknown territory, weight-wise. I'd also like to stop purging completely, and make sure I never binge over maintenance.
[Other] 5 days purge free
/u/existing--
Created: Thu Oct 25 20:21:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgqnm/5_days_purge_free/
---
Doesn’t sound like much of an achievement but I’ve been stuck in a cycle for months and this is the longest I’ve gone in a long while! I did have a binge last night but I sat with it, wanted to purge but didn’t and I actually put the leftovers of all the shit I bought in the fridge and then threw them out this morning instead of my usual “throws away mid binge - goes and digs food out of the trash like a fat little raccoon” habit lol
Anyway yeah idk just feeling proud of this small thing and don’t have anyone else to tell so 🤷♀️
[Other] #relatable
/u/puppyfang [♡ 5'6" |GW 115| nb imp ♡]
Created: Thu Oct 25 20:16:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgpf5/relatable/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/XTFDuN8
Supposed to see old college friends but I wanna call in fat
/u/SpaceWhale88 [5'3 | CW 20lbs overweight | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 20:05:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgmg6/supposed_to_see_old_college_friends_but_i_wanna/
---
I HATE FALL. I look terrible in pants. I only look good in dresses and its fucking freezing. I keep trying on outfits to meet up with some college friends and I look like a literal whale in everything. I've lost weight, yes, but I'm still at the weight I was when I graduated 5 years ago after gaining 30lbs in college.
Everyone has a better job than me. People have gotten married. One skinny chick even had a baby and I still have probably 50lbs on her. Everyone is more successful at life than me and I cant even show off my new body because it's still as fat as it was 5 years ago.
On top of it I've been fighting off a cold now for 12 days and I'm exhausted and I'll have to drive like 40miles after work.
I am too fat to go. I cant get back on track since gaining 5lbs and I look like shit.
[Rant/Rave] I’m so disappointed with myself
/u/ThatzShynee [5’7| CW:205 | WL:42 | M]
Created: Thu Oct 25 19:59:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgkz9/im_so_disappointed_with_myself/
---
I’m so disappointed in myself. I was good until about 4pm. Then I went overboard. I binged 5,200 calories in 6 hours. I’m tired of this. I hate food.
I think I’m a little stupid
/u/mynameislucaIlive
Created: Thu Oct 25 19:58:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgkmi/i_think_im_a_little_stupid/
---
So for the last three days I’ve survived on what amounts to be sugar free Red Bull (my life right now) and almond chips, for a total of under 600 calories a day. And of course I’m woozy, and slightly hungry, and super caffeinated. And all day today I’ve been thinking “why am I so woozy?” “Why am I so hungry” why am I so shaky?”
Like duh bitch, you haven’t been taking care of yourself! So tonight, because I’m going to a bar later, I allowed myself like 2 tiny pieces of chicken so today’s calories are at like maybe 800? Idk I didn’t weigh the chicken, my aunt was watching me. So now, to add to the stupid, I’m going to go have some shots.
Friends who have gone through recovery before: does it actually get better?
/u/NewBullMoose
Created: Thu Oct 25 19:57:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgkao/friends_who_have_gone_through_recovery_before/
---
Everyone keeps telling me the same things. They all say it won’t be this hard forever, my body will normalize after a while, I won’t always feel so bloated and full, I’ll be able to let go of calorie counting, and so many other things that I don’t believe.
Somebody please tell me I’m not crazy.
A tiny mini rave
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 109 | GW 104 | F26]
Created: Thu Oct 25 19:36:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgeu2/a_tiny_mini_rave/
---
I look ok in pictures. Taken by others. on the first try
not perfect, but ok
it helps
Has anyone tried a subscription vitamin thing?
/u/its_scorpio_season [5'4"| 157 | 26.9 | 0 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 19:26:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgc2a/has_anyone_tried_a_subscription_vitamin_thing/
---
I don’t want to post company names cause I only know of one and don’t want to be a shill, but I saw an ad recently and am intrigued.
[Other] It has been a stressful week
/u/d_hatesthis
Created: Thu Oct 25 19:24:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rgbm1/it_has_been_a_stressful_week/
---
https://i.redd.it/sja2xc5omfu11.png
I successfully fasted for the first time and I'm so proud
/u/petewentzpetegoez [5'5" | lw:97.5 lbs | cw:99.6 | gw:dead | 15F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 19:18:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rg9zg/i_successfully_fasted_for_the_first_time_and_im/
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All the other times I have fasted in the past, they have ended with a binge. I fasted for 27 hours (if I did the math right lmao) and it ended with a light sandwich (85 cals) and a salad (15 cals). I'm just so happy with myself and I have to share it!
My new-ish boyfriend saw me browsing this sub over my shoulder fml
/u/barkinglambs
Created: Thu Oct 25 18:47:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rg217/my_newish_boyfriend_saw_me_browsing_this_sub_over/
---
I'm going to have to plan some performative eating to stave off suspicion.
size 00 best friend of 10 years just told me our "dynamic wasn't working for her anymore"
/u/kat-official [5'5" | cw 124 | -87.5 | 🍑katv]
Created: Thu Oct 25 18:32:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfy1d/size_00_best_friend_of_10_years_just_told_me_our/
---
this about a month after she got caught smoking pot INSIDE by my COP mother while my SIX AND SEVEN YEAR OLD SIBLINGS are in the house and i was asleep. when i didn't want her there because i needed to rest from having fucking PNEUMONIA and she didn't listen and came over anyways.
for the past few months she's had this habit of "can you do XYZ expensive thing for me and i'll pay you back?" and then NOT PAYING ME BACK meanwhile i work for all of my money and she gets a 200$/month allowance from her mother.
everytime i try to talk to her about something that's going on in my life, like my mom freaking out at me because she was so desperate to get high RIGHT THEN AND THERE for whatever fucking reason, or being * hospitalized * for a fucking suicide attempt. she responded - no fucking joke - with "rough" and usually nothing else, and then starts talking about how her mom was SOOO mean to her because she asked her to do the dishes even though she was tired, etc.
and the shittiest thing about this, as i'm sitting in my inpatient room at ED rehab, is i'm mostly mad because she's a 00 and i never will be. so even when we aren't going to be friends anymore, people will still forever think of her as the "skinny friend". i literally have one person - my boyfriend, who lives really fucking far away right now to boot - in my life left because everyone either ghosted me, went to college or decided to dump me this past year and a half. fuck that skinny bitch honestly. i'm so fucking pissed. and the bitch owes me money still and you'd best believe i'm fucking getting it.
How to know if it was a binge?
/u/Belarie [5'4", 130, F :)]
Created: Thu Oct 25 18:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rftw4/how_to_know_if_it_was_a_binge/
---
I’m pretty sure I have EDNOS. Not going to diagnose myself because I’m not a doctor. I just binged, but.. I dont think I did. Maybe this eating disorder is all in my head.. Am I so bored that I’m going to pretend I’m sick? Sometimes I lose my appetite and can’t fathom eating, as I feel like it’ll ruin everything if I do. And it feels like it is. And most of the time I break my short little fasts with a binge. But it’s not super high calorie, around 2,000 cal to sometimes 4,000-5,000 when it’s really bad. Maybe I’m just gross, a pig. I don’t believe ANYONE else is gross. They are not- you’re sick! But I don’t know if I am. I just feel like I’m not alllowed to binge until I’m diagnosed - until then I’m just being indulgent and disguising it as a disorder to me.
will drinking fuck me up
/u/put_thelotion [179cm | CW: 80kg | GW: 55kg | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 18:13:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rft86/will_drinking_fuck_me_up/
---
so I'm currently in the middle of a fast, and I'm looking to finish Saturday evening and then go out that night. I'll have fasted for over 100 hours at that point (need to look good in my halloween costume) and I just want to know, will drinking on that empty of a stomach ruin my night, or should I try to eat something beforehand?
I really don't want to cut halloween festivities short on account of not being able to handle my alcohol, but I also want to keep fasting up until the last minute
this is probably stupid of me
/u/muesally [5’7 | CW: 160 | 25.1 | UGW: 110 | female ❤️| ]
Created: Thu Oct 25 18:11:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfspd/this_is_probably_stupid_of_me/
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my cap and gown size goes by weight and height so I ordered it in a lower weight so I have to lose it to be able to fit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Other] Chicken and veggies. Leave the rice out. First meal of the day (8:07pm)
/u/lovleybones_
Created: Thu Oct 25 18:07:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfrkk/chicken_and_veggies_leave_the_rice_out_first_meal/
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https://i.redd.it/11u7qs8y8fu11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] when will it be “enough”?
/u/ketothrowaway95 [5'2 |CW 115.6 | BMI 21.1 |GW 95 | -70 lbs lost | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:54:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfoao/when_will_it_be_enough/
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“You are here now. Eventually, you will be gone. You have but a nanosecond on the universal clock to do whatever it is you're going to do. When that time is gone, it's gone. Forever. That means that although what you do doesn't matter to the universe, it should matter one hell of a lot to YOU. In fact, it should matter to you more than it currently does. If you knew how small you are and how short a time you have to do what you can, you wouldn't waste time watching five fucking hours of TV a day. You wouldn't waste time doing a job you hate. You wouldn't waste the little time you have dealing with assholes, feeling sorry for yourself, or being timid about the things you'd really like to do.” - J. Truant
This quote hit me super hard yesterday.
I spend so much of my time stressing about minuscule things and express my ED in so many neurotic ways like delaying planned meals, counting every calorie, debating whether or not i eat one freaking almond or not.. it’s hard to see that I am not the one in control anymore yet when my ED-related behavior helps me stay on track with everything else in my life (school, work, etc) and I feel like losing weight is one of the only things I can be good at.
Anyone else wonder what the whole point even is?
On one hand, life is to short to spend the whole damn thing hating yourself. But I don’t know if there even is a number low enough to make me happy. When I was 185, I thought I would be happy and carefree at 120. Now I’m 114, and I know I won’t look as thin as I want to until I’m 104 (underweight) - but deep down I know that’s not even my UGW, not even close.
It’s a dark place to be, but I’m comforted by the fact that my existence is a mere blip on the cosmic timeline.
Damage control
/u/metalhair
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:29:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfhne/damage_control/
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I just interrupted my fast to eat a 630 calorie muffin my co-worker kept offering me. He actually brought it to work today specifically for me :( ...was 18 hours into my fast, I wanted to make it to 24. I had no idea that muffin could be 630 calories alone. I need to do some damage control... I’m way to exhausted to work out and I’m definitely not going to purge... I already interrupted autophagy anyway so I have to start over. I feel like such a failure and I’m so mad and annoyed with myself. I don’t know what to do or tell myself to feel better about this.
[Rant/Rave] That lovely feeling of EDNOS relapse BS
/u/amaranthinenightmare [5'7" | CW 134| GW 120]
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:26:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfgze/that_lovely_feeling_of_ednos_relapse_bs/
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Not to say I’ve been in a healthy spot at any point in my life. But I’ve been restricting the last week, and then today I binged and purged for the first time in... like... 8 years I think.
I don’t know what happened. I’m depressed and anxious and absolutely heartbroken and I guess that meant I felt like I needed to shove my face until my food was gone, even though 1) I had barely eaten in days and 2) I acknowledged less than halfway through that I was full.
I didn’t even have to use my finger. I took my last bite and ran to the bathroom and just lost it. Then I did stick my finger down my throat until my stomach was totally empty.
It’s so gross and so not what I want to be doing. And I have restricted and obsessed and binged, but it’s been almost a decade since I’ve purged.
Bonus gross factor: I have a sinus infection and it definitely feels worse now after this bull shit 🙄🙃
[Other] I'm so angry. I think I always have been.
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:24:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfgk2/im_so_angry_i_think_i_always_have_been/
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This isn't strictly Ed related but I have no where else to vent.
All my life I've handled my abuse with grace.
"I'm ok it made me a better person."
I'm a Buddhist and their big thing is to not hold onto anger. I think I've been absolutely lying to myself
I'm fucking pissed. The shit I've seen is not ok. The shit people have done to me is not ok.
I was thinking today of a time where I was told "I only fantasize about other people with big boobs. I think that's all it is."
See, because I have small boobs
"I think when you get a boob job..."
The plot to every God damn story in my life is that I'm not good enough. Even my fairytale, happily ever after
And that pisses me off because I'm fucking awesome. What the fuck is wrong with people??
What is wrong with me.
There's nothing wrong with you.
/u/42rental
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:17:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfene/theres_nothing_wrong_with_you/
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I hear you say you're jealous of people who can forget to eat, or not finish a meal or dessert. "How can they just pick at their food and not care? How does the food not bother them?" Sure, these traits might be favorable right here and now, but it wasn't always like this. 5,000 years ago, you know what happened to those people? They failed to store enough fat for the winter, and starved to death.
On an evolutionary scale, these problems are brand new. In a way, we are pioneers in a world with too many calories.
I can't say that things like b/p and c/s and anorexia are normal or healthy, but I can't say they came out of the blue either. They're also not your fault. Now, I don't mean to deprive any of you of agency, at the end of the day, you all make your own choices, and you must live with them. But you should consider *what you are*, an animal. An amazingly complex, delicate, strong, and fantastic animal, thrown into a world in which we did not evolve. And what else could be expected? These are unnatural responses to unnatural circumstances. We're born into a world surrounded by food that will *ruin* your body. So when I said there's nothing *wrong* with you, I didn't mean that you're okay, you're probably not. I mean you aren't broken, you are just working as designed. Either the design is flawed, or the environment is. But *you?* You're working perfectly. I can't say the same for people who do not intuitively desire lots of tasty food.
So where does that leave us? We need to learn to DEAL WITH IT. We humans are rarher adaptive creatures. While I can't say shit like b/p is a particularly optimal adaptation, it is an adaptation nonetheless. But we can do better, and that's what this sub is for. I have heard so many people shit talk this place, saying we encourage dangerous behavior. Well, the "dangerous" ship done sailed when we introduced high fructose corn syrup into everything and subsidized it and pushed it on peoppe of all ages. We're so far past "dangerous" that heart disease is now a leading cause of death. What level of help would these people provide anyway? "Just eat the cheeseburger bro, you'll be cured." Thanks George, all those cheeseburgers sure helped your blood pressure, you're a beacon of sanity.
We can do better. We can exchange ideas, support, advice, and so much more. Most importantly, we can share experiences, because the hardest part is feeling alone. You're not alone, we're right here and most of us want to help. We can adapt together, don't listen to the broken people.
Am I suffering from an ED without knowing?
/u/tyukki
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:17:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfeeh/am_i_suffering_from_an_ed_without_knowing/
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I've been losing weight for a while now. I started in the summer of 2016, so it's been a little over 2 years. I dropped 50lbs within my first year, but then gained 40lbs back over the next summer. I am now losing all that 40lbs back and getting pretty close to my goal weight. After just simply restricting my diet being too slow/annoying I switched it up and started IF and eventually EF (extended fasting) now. At first, it was just to lose those last 15-20lbs. My goal was to reach 10% bodyfat, which is quite low, because I was planning on starting a bulk. However, I adopted the 5 on 2 off style of fasting. Where I fasted 5 days during the week, and ate on the weekends. I did this for several weeks and lost a lot of weight. I still didn't reach my goal but I got quite close. Something I noticed, is that I literally binge ate every weekend. It got bad, I was eating literally 5000+ calories every weekend. I stopped the 5:2 routine at the start of the month with thoughts that I would just lose the rest of the weight through restriction. In short it didn't. I binge ate every day for 3 weeks, ranging from 3000-5000 calories a day. Nothing was off limits and now I'm dealing with the ramifications. I've told myself I need to lose the weight I gained, and I'm worried once I reach my goal I will binge eat like crazy.
TLDR: Fasting for 5 days and 2 days off led to binge eating. I binged for the last 3 weeks uncontrollably. I now am going to fast for the next 3-4 weeks to make up for it. Is this an ED?
Advice for taking vitamins on a fast
/u/ebi_chan
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfdhe/advice_for_taking_vitamins_on_a_fast/
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What vitamins do you guys take when on a fast? Do you take a cocktail or different ones or just multivitamins? Also is there any way to take supplements on an empty stomach and not want to throw up??
I'm miserable no matter what
/u/caffecat
Created: Thu Oct 25 17:11:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rfcue/im_miserable_no_matter_what/
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Restricting?
Thinking about food 24/7 and wanting to binge so badly
"Fine, stupid brain, here's all the food you asked for."
But my brain isn't happy. Nah. All the food tastes like shit and I just hate myself tenfold than before.
Is this what having an ED is? Hell no matter what?
[Rant/Rave] Talked myself out of a b/p session
/u/tobethinspo [5'0 (153.3 cm) | CW: 93.6 lbs | 18.97]
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:57:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rf8qz/talked_myself_out_of_a_bp_session/
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Victory today. Am stressed out and have tons of comfortable food but I actually just don't have time for this shit today
Putting in earbuds and listening to music to drown out the urges while working, hit me up with song recommendations!
[Rant/Rave] I ate “bad” stuff today...
/u/jewishtemptress
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:48:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rf6jm/i_ate_bad_stuff_today/
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So, I had breadsticks, pasta, *and* a cinnamon roll today. I drank regular soda instead of diet. I’m well over my calorie limit, but I don’t feel bad about it. I didn’t try to purge it at all. It’s honestly just great to say “fuck you” to an ED and have a “normal” day for once, even if I’ll go right back to restricting tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] Things are getting better so why do I feel so much worse?!
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:42:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rf4lq/things_are_getting_better_so_why_do_i_feel_so/
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I had the worst job ever last year. Super stressful to begin with and my boss was a bully and looking back it was actually harassment and I should have gathered evidence and gotten him fired. I gained so much weight from stress-eating and getting takeout all the time because I was too exhausted to cook.
Now I have another stressful job- but it’s a job I love and I like the people that I work with and I am very confident that I’m good at what I do.
I eat a *little* healthier and I have lost a good amount of weight. I’m in a way better place with my family now.
But I constantly wish I would just disappear. I get so foggy and have no energy and I just take a sleep aid very very early (like 6 pm) because the only way to make my suicidal thoughts go away is just by falling asleep. I am OBSESSED with my diet and calorie counting and I hate myself if I go over AT ALL even if my goal for the day is like 100 calories and I go over it by a single pomegranate aril. I have almost passed out at work twice from having too much caffeine and no food. All I think about is food or the lack thereof. I don’t even care about how I look just about what I weigh.
I wasn’t healthy last year when I was going through hell at work and at school. But this year everything is SO MUCH better so why the FUCK am I more crazy than before?
Sorry I just needed to rant, thanks y’all.
So I'm in the bathroom at work crying...
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:38:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rf3n1/so_im_in_the_bathroom_at_work_crying/
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This is just gonna be a melodromatic vent. So, basically today has been a very shitty day and this week has been a very shitty week and I called my mom to see if she would go to lunch with me cause I just really need a hug. I wasn't thinking about anything other than I want to vent and cry and I want a hug. But guess what? Going out to lunch means I have to eat 🙃 and I was doing so well and now I'm not and I've already had food today and now I'm gonna eat either fast food or resteraunt food which is so many calories and I've been doing so terrible with my calorie goals recently and everything is just so much right now, I just want to go home and sleep for a few days.
[Help] Unintentional thinspo
/u/yaogauiasaurus
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rf1tt/unintentional_thinspo/
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Prelude: I've gained 8 pounds and can't stop and I want to kms. Please for the love of all that is holy help me.
Currently: triggered the fudge out of myself by window shopping on wish.com.
Every model is made of toothpicks and q tips and it makes me never want to eat again for the rest of my life.
The end
[Help] Purged for the first time in months
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:25:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rezw5/purged_for_the_first_time_in_months/
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At a company function. Had 2 slices of fried pickle and 3 French fries. Spend 10 minutes purging almost nothing and freaked out. Now I’m going to spin class to burn it off and I honestly want to cry
[Help] Vitamin supplement on fast?
/u/randomsombanana
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:25:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9reztn/vitamin_supplement_on_fast/
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Fasted for 3 weeks straight but took additional vitamin to be safer. Not sure if I should this time too in order to achieve even better results. I also want to donate blood next month and my hemoglobin was pretty bad last time so I'm unsure.
[Rant/Rave] Why
/u/msnormanmaine
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:23:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rez6f/why/
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Tfw u have been eating in your calorie limit naturally and have been able to stop obsessing but you are in an outpatient program( for different mental health issues) and haven’t been able to work out
Like I feel like I am slim but I don’t have time to go to the gym and I don’t. Trust my scale at home. Really thinking about walking a mile to the gym not even to work out just to weigh myself smh
PSA: My fellow purgers i have hit a new low..
/u/littlejanedoe- [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rez5c/psa_my_fellow_purgers_i_have_hit_a_new_low/
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I purged yesterday at work and got a little splash back.. whatever it happens right ?!?! This morning i woke up with pinkeye !!! Be safe you there lol
[Rant/Rave] i need encouragement
/u/deadbigfoot
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:22:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rez37/i_need_encouragement/
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okay. i need to get this out of me and written down somewhere. maybe that’ll help.
right before october started i hit 70 pounds lost. and that’s great! but my brain decided that was a whole lot of weight and i should reward myself. my mom’s birthday was on october 5th, and i decided i would do what i wanted that day. of course i binged. if i even fuck up once during a day, i end up binging. my ed brain has no fucking gauge. if i drink one iced coffee, i might as well eat whatever i want and as much of it as i want because i already had all those carbs and sugar from the iced coffee. anyway, since october 5th i’ve been binging for a day or two straight, restricting for a day or two, then binging again. i cant break out of this cycle. i feel like i’m losing it. before october 5th i was at 144.something pounds but this month i’ve been bouncing around between that and 149 pounds. it’s like my self control completely evacuated my body and now i’m just a fat pig who cant stop consuming everything she sees. if anyone has tips on how to gain control back, please let me know. or if you just have stories about you thinking you were spiraling but you’re back on track now. that would help too.
Had to suppress the urge of screaming at my scale
/u/randomsombanana
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:14:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rewus/had_to_suppress_the_urge_of_screaming_at_my_scale/
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Once screamed at vitamin tabets that sparkle in water for having 7 cals. Did anyone else scream/overreact due to own disorderd behavior?
[Help] Being a really good baker is both a blessing and a curse. How do you resist your own food?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:13:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rewkj/being_a_really_good_baker_is_both_a_blessing_and/
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I love the fact that I can bake; it’s such a stress-relieving activity. There’s just something so fulfilling about experimenting with new ingredient combinations and making something great.
And I’m always so flattered when people compliment my baking and ask me to make them things. Like just the other day, my boyfriend asked me to make him some cookies for his meeting at work. Apparently they were a huge hit and everyone raves about them.
It just sucks that I can’t resist my own food. I’m powerless when it comes to resisting sugar; I have the biggest sweet tooth in the universe. I dream of opening my own bakery within the next few years, but I can’t do that if I can’t overcome my sugar craving. I sometimes try using my own fear foods as ingredients to deter myself from eating, but that doesn’t really stop me.
For those of you who cook or bake, how do you resist your own food?
DAE create a calorie “bank” each week?
/u/bewareofzombiesadele
Created: Thu Oct 25 16:11:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9revzc/dae_create_a_calorie_bank_each_week/
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I give myself 4,200 calories a week, which is equivalent to 600 calories a day for 7 days. Every time I eat, I subtract the calories that meal. Then when it’s gone it’s gone until Monday. It makes it easier to save up calories for the weekend to spend on get togethers with friends and family and makes me more mindful during the week. Sometimes I’ll fast a couple days a week for an event.
[Rant/Rave] I feel so disgusting.
/u/ayybih
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:59:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9res98/i_feel_so_disgusting/
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I’ve recently had a guy text me a lot even though I haven’t responded. It’s starting to get creepy. Anyways, I mentioned to my boyfriend/ baby daddy that he had texted me again and he says “Just send him a picture of your rolls.” (Referring to my weight)
Like okay I’m just gonna go die now thanks
DAE really want to get rid of their breasts
/u/Teatris
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:59:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9res1s/dae_really_want_to_get_rid_of_their_breasts/
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My body dismorphia about my chest is really bad to a point where I never take off my shirt in front of other people (not even my family) and I even avoid it if I'm by myself. If I do, I just look at my body and how disgusting it is. My breasts look so disproportionate compared to the rest of my body and I just need them gone.
I mean I also really want a thigh gap and all of that, but I'd prefer to have one once I don't look like an old saggy woman anymore and I can finally wear oversize clothing. People always tell me that I might go down one cup size but they don't know that my goal is to be underweight...
DAE not even care about looking thin anymore?
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:58:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rerxn/dae_not_even_care_about_looking_thin_anymore/
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i don't know how common this is because a desire to be thinner is one of the main things associated with eating disorders but i dunno. at this point, i know i'm thin. i'm starting to look pretty ill actually, but i don't give a shit. i wanted to be thinner at first. i got what i wanted, but i don't want to stop losing weight. i just enjoy seeing the numbers drop, it's like a fucked up game or a gross hobby. i know for a fact i looked much better physically when i weighed more but i'd also rather die than gain the weight back. not because i think i'd be 'fat', but seeing the numbers go up makes me wanna jump off a building. i guess i'm just in too deep at this point, i wish i could have never started any of this
[Discussion] Who do you look up to?
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rerx6/who_do_you_look_up_to/
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Or maybe not look up to but maybe relate to in some way? Like someone who suffered or suffers with an ED?
I used to follow Venus Angelic when I was a teeny little kid but was out of touch for a long time. After all the drama with her mom and stuff I was keeping track of her. When she almost died of her ED and decided to bring it to attention and chose to save her life I gained a lot of respect. She got a messed up version of weight loss surgery and let it go because the bad side affects were helping her maintain or lose weight. When she got it corrected she even had them put her stomach completely back to normal even though they could have left it smaller for her. She still struggles a lot but at least she’s talking about it. They way she says she could eat and eat and eat hit me so hard. It’s comforting to know someone beautiful could say that instead of me just being a fat piece of shit. She might be a problematic person but yeah. Feel free to share yours. Oh and I also rly like Portia De Rossi
I’m losing my mind. It’s already gone.
/u/maybeshesmelting
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:55:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rer1q/im_losing_my_mind_its_already_gone/
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I’m on vacation. I’m drunk. I’m getting fat, I can feel it. Fat like my mother. My crazy mother who’s been driving me mad all week.
And m messaging a guy I know from work (kind of...he works for someone my work had a contract with). He’s attracted to me. He’s wrong. He’s crazy. There’s nothing to be attracted to. I’m crazy.
I’m wearing a child’s skirt. But I’m fat. Eating too much. Moving a lot but not enough.
There’s no point to this post other than I’m drunk and fat and talking to this guy who sees something in me that I can’t see in myself and somehow that pisses me off. He shouldn’t like me. There’s nothing to like.
When you've been fatter than your older sibling your entire life...
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 132| GW 100| -11| F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9remp0/when_youve_been_fatter_than_your_older_sibling/
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Even before I was overweight my sister had weighed a lot less then me and it really destroyed my self esteem. She was already the princess of the family so I felt that I would be more validated if I was as small as her. Even as an adult im still crushed by these feelings
Can't stop thinking about a stupid joke my mom made weeks ago
/u/househippob [5'3" | 126 lbs | 22.3 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:29:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9reiou/cant_stop_thinking_about_a_stupid_joke_my_mom/
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I was in the kitchen w/ my cousin and my mom. My cousin was eating a muffin and offered me one, I said no and she was like, "Oh you don't eat anything!", and my mom was like "If she doesn't eat anything how is she still getting fat haha". And then I went upstairs and cried about it.
And now whenever I think about it just makes my stomach turn to know that no matter how much I restrict I'll still be a horrible ugly idiot.
hey guys
/u/pomegranate_advice
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:11:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9recwz/hey_guys/
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You don't deserve to be suffering! You will succeed. I love you with my whole heart and ass. Don't let your ed kill you, please.
If any of you are trying to recover and were able to eat filling meals today... I'm proud of you. You are incredibly brave, I hope you can also be proud of yourself for nourishing your body.
If you aren't trying to recover, I love you. Take care. Stay hydrated. Don't feel guilty about any aspect of your weightloss. Be aware of your body. Try not to hurt yourself. You are working really so hard on this and probably not able to share it with anyone and that's rough. Message me.
Someone please tell me what's happening to me!
/u/funnyhappygirl123
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:09:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9reccs/someone_please_tell_me_whats_happening_to_me/
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So, basically: I was anorexic for about 3-4 months, got to a pretty low BMI (\~14.5), and have finally decided that I don't want to die. I have a whole life ahead of me--and I want kids, happiness, and health! So now I'm eating more--and by more, I mean WAY more. Like, over twice my TDEE. And it's because I'm always hungry! I thought I would increase my caloric intake incrementally, but nope! I can literally eat three meals as one and still be hungry. It's terrifying and confusing both at once. (it's been about two weeks since I stopped restricting, btw)
And the weirdest part--I feel like I'm getting skinnier?? Like, my arms are skinnier than they were before, my jeans are looser. Why am I not gaining weight??
If someone has any idea, your thoughts are extremely welcome!
[Discussion] Why do you want to lose weight/ be skinny?
/u/sunshineyyysoul
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:07:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rebmm/why_do_you_want_to_lose_weight_be_skinny/
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I want to be skinnier, so that I feel prettier. I feel like even when life sucks; if I feel confident; at least that’s something.
Subconsciously (not so subconsciously anymore); I’m aware that I have a craving for control. When I’ve reached my goal weight; I’ve always alwaysss felt more in control.
[Tip] r/instagramreality
/u/alcoholhas2manykcal [5'4" | HW: 245 lb | CW: 174lb | GW: 120 lb | 23F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 15:02:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rea26/rinstagramreality/
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This sub is legit helping my dysmorphia. The amount that people edit their pictures is ridiculous- if literally impossible expectations/thinspo got you down, check it out
[Discussion] DAE hate when people call themselves naturally thin?
/u/DramaticDoubt5
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:58:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9re8wm/dae_hate_when_people_call_themselves_naturally/
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I always thought all the thin people had some restrictive tendencies, if not a full blown eating disorder. I work at a supplement store and the amount of thin people who walk in looking for weight loss or metabolism boosting supplements boggles my mind. Do naturally thin people really exist or is it just my ED brain that makes me believe the opposite is true?
[Rant/Rave] It’s finally, officially over!!!
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:56:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9re8df/its_finally_officially_over/
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So I’ve posted several times in here about my toxic relationship, how I broke up, and got back together. Well my girlfriend just forced me to leave and I am honestly thrilled! I needed that to happen.
I am so tired of being hurt constantly! So tired of being told I’m controlling, toxic, manipulative, childish, and selfish, so tired of having my mental illnesses used against me, tired of being guilt tripped all the time, tired of being told things I experienced didn’t happen or don’t matter.
Tired of paying for everything and doing all the cleaning when I get little to no emotional support or affection of any kind, tired of feeling like one wrong move and I’m toast, tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong.
I’m free! Finally, finally free! For real this time! Aaaa I’m so excited! There’s literally no downside! I don’t get affection or attention as it is, so I’m not losing anything but pain! Time to love myself!!!!
I’m afraid to look at the scale, I can’t see myself objectively anymore. Probably can’t eat today
/u/TAYbayybay
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:47:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9re5bc/im_afraid_to_look_at_the_scale_i_cant_see_myself/
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https://imgur.com/a/10hJMHK
Pizza belongs to the cameraman
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:46:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9re4wq/pizza_belongs_to_the_cameraman/
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https://i.redd.it/rzs9a9129eu11.jpg
[Other] Lol people at work are asking me if I eat dinner
/u/areddittoshowoff [161cm | C: 57kg | G: 54kg | -17kg | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:46:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9re4tr/lol_people_at_work_are_asking_me_if_i_eat_dinner/
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Guess I lost too fast whoops. 🙄 oh well.
I am a little worried that they’re gonna seriously ask me about it though.
It’s not like I’m even skinny though????
[Rant/Rave] I found out my friend has developed an ED and my instinctual response was to be competitive
/u/vladadoll
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:43:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9re453/i_found_out_my_friend_has_developed_an_ed_and_my/
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She confessed that she has been diagnosed with an ED (she knows I have had one on/off for 10 years now) and although I am of course very worried about her and want to support her in getting better, I had this horrible, vile automatic response in my mind: I have to be better (worse) than her. I have to restrict more. I can't let her be better than me at this, it's MY thing. It's awful. I hate that I even thought that, and it shows me just how bad I've gotten recently (many months into a what was a relapse and is now just a full blown ED again). I used to be competitive with a former friend when I was at my worst and we were very bad for each other. I don't want to be bad for her. I don't want her to go through this hell. But, and god help me for saying this, I can't stand the idea of anyone else being the 'better' ED sufferer. I know many of us deal with the competitive nature of restriction, but it doesn't make me feel like any less of a monster. Just had to vent about this. I purged for the first time in a very long time the second i got back from the dinner we had together. I've purely been restricting until now.
Good excuse not to eat today?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:28:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdzv6/good_excuse_not_to_eat_today/
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https://i.imgur.com/9se5eb2.jpg
[Discussion] DAE have basically unobtainable goals for their body?
/u/Tsuyu_irl [5'2" | cw:124lbs | gw: 105 |F22]
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:24:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdyej/dae_have_basically_unobtainable_goals_for_their/
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Title. Basically for me sure i want to be dainty and small but at the same time I want a squat booty and legs that can crush watermelons. I realize I can't build muscle like that eating under maintenance but I can't bring myself to eat more to gain muscle because I am terrified of getting fat.
[Help] Diagnosed with ADD
/u/doubledigitsplease
Created: Thu Oct 25 14:20:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdx2u/diagnosed_with_add/
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Hey guys! Story-time followed by a question ahead:
I went to my psychiatrist today and after talking about my struggles with work and school, he’s told me that I have undiagnosed ADD (My inner ED rejoices LOL, but really I’m not doing it for those reasons.) He’s gonna put me on Adderall as part of the treatment.
I’ll need monthly visits to my GP to make sure I’m taking them, I’m improving, I’m not selling them, yada yada yada. However, I’m concerned because during my first visit to the GP (prior to my visit to the Psych), my doctor noticed my weight loss (yay??) since my last visit in July (127 -> ~110). I just said that I’ve been more physically active since I last visited (not a lie lol).
My question: Should I be concerned about these monthly check ups/my future weight loss and my ability to keep this prescription? My GW is 95-100 lbs. I feel like if I continue to lose weight, they’ll correlate it with my meds and they’ll take me off.......
Anyone have experience with this? Thank you!!
[Help] I’m fucking up
/u/_idealixtic
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdq0p/im_fucking_up/
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I was doing fine with restricting, and now I’m stuck in this damn binge/purge cycle and I can’t fucking stop. How can I get out of this cycle, it’s terrible. 😭
[Help] Explain Peach to me?
/u/beezythegiraffe
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:52:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdnry/explain_peach_to_me/
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So I'm an idiot and kind of out of the loop, I just downloaded Peach for the first time after hearing all the hype. Can someone explain exactly how everyone here uses it? My user is beezythegiraffe. Thanks lovely people!
Groceries
/u/Aprikoosi_flex [5'9" | cw 127 | gw 117 | ugw 110 | 26F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:40:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdjt9/groceries/
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Mods please mark discussion, I’m on mobile.
Today I returned all the cans in my house and then bought some safe foods. Well most of it was liquids lol. I got
* Coke Zero Vanilla
* store brand lacroix
* low cal juice
* sugar free Chai concentrate
* lite Progresso soups.
I also bought my boyfriend some snacks and a snack for his parents.
What are some of your grocery trips like? Snack runs, or otherwise. I’m always on the hunt for some safe foods, and even just snack ideas for when I want to binge but need to be okay afterward 😇
[Discussion] My boyfriend is losing weight because of my relapse
/u/BladderPatrol
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:32:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdhbi/my_boyfriend_is_losing_weight_because_of_my/
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My boyfriends TDEE is about 3500 for maintenance (fucking hell, right?) but he doesn’t cook so I have complete control over all of our meals. I make a lot of Franken-food to eat when I’m alone, but I make very healthy foods for both of us for dinner.
I eat between 250-400 cal for dinner depending on what I have for lunch. He can, of course, eat more than me, but there’s only so many calories you can get from a huge bowl of Brussel sprouts! Everything I make for us incorporates lean protein and two veggies. It’s way easier to hide how little you eat if your plate is mounded with veggies!
He’s been losing weight and is so happy about it! I’m pretty open about joking with him that I’m tricking him into eating tons of veggies, but he doesn’t know how obsessive I am with restriction.
I guess I’m just saying it’s a really positive thing and we are both a lot happier and feel better.
[Discussion] Does anyone else whoosh over the span of a few days instead of overnight?
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | CW: 128lbs | BMI: 19.46 | WL: 27lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:30:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdgyf/does_anyone_else_whoosh_over_the_span_of_a_few/
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I feel like everyone on here talks about losing like 3-5lbs or even more between two days but the most I ever lose in a single day is like 1.5lbs max. However, sometimes I’ll have several days in a row where I consistently lose 1lb or more every day, and obviously it’s impossible to literally lose 1lb every day unless you’re fasting and doing a massive amount of exercise, so I guess that’s a whoosh? Is anyone else like this?
[Help] Do you count accumulative steps as calories burnt?
/u/bexsun2
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:19:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rddga/do_you_count_accumulative_steps_as_calories_burnt/
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I walk about a mile a day, although it’s over the course of a school day and never all at once. I know that I am probably burning some calories through this but I’m very paranoid that I’m logging it wrong. LoseIt says that this should be about 45 calories burned. Would you log that, or does the fact that it’s accumulated throughout the day mean it doesn’t actually burn calories as it would if I were to walk one consecutive mile?
Also, I can’t go for runs outdoors so I jog in place and often pace a lot. Does this burn calories? Should I log it?
I’m just wondering if other people think that I should count these as calories burned or if it’s inaccurate. Thank u!
I have an official timeline for my UGW!
/u/HellaGayThrowaway [5'10"|CW:187.5|SW:225|GW1:180|UGW:135|NB21]
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdc31/i_have_an_official_timeline_for_my_ugw/
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(On mobile, tag as goal) My graduate program offers classes in South Korea and I decided I'm going for a two week session starting on May 2nd. So, by May 1st, I'm going to be at my UGW of 135 and I'll have a BMI of 19.4. I'm not going to be just another fat American while I'm there. I'll be thin, and I'll look great. If I stay on track, I should be down to 170 (or lower, fingers crossed) by the end of the year, which will give me 35 pounds to lose in four months. I can do this.
[Discussion] Thanks Mom!
/u/ErinNeeka_
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:14:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdbu1/thanks_mom/
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So I have a pretty severe eating disorder. My mother and I were talking about treatment, how expensive it is and what if it's not affordable. (Quick history before I go on: my mother used drugs in and out of different times in her life. She used to be addicted to a lot of stuff.) She goes on to say,"I know you're strong enough to just quit doing it. I used to be addicted to drugs and I just quit on my own, so I know you can just stop doing this." I think she really thought she was helping. Anyways, this happened a few days ago and I haven't responded because I'm hurt and idk what to say.
Discovering the source of my food issues
/u/Willow2653
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:13:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rdbiz/discovering_the_source_of_my_food_issues/
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Has only caused me to binge uncontrollably for weeks. This is my first post and a long one.
I've recently had to move back home with my mother. Prior to moving I had been successfully restricting for 5 months and lost 13kg slowly but steadily. I was starting to feel good, in control and actually happy. I stopped drinking alcohol, quit smoking, spent more time on hobbies and was walking my dog 2 hours a day.
Then moving home things came undone pretty quickly. I didn't have work and finding employment had been stressful (started a new job last week). I started to eat more. A lot more. Then I started drinking on a Friday night, then four nights a week. I also started smoking again. And its been four weeks and I have gained 6kg...
I feel gross. I didn't know what caused me to just go back into all my crap habits and binge multiple times a week.
Last week I had been browsing youtube and was watching a video on emotionally negligent parents, which recommended the book The Emotionally Absent Mother and it really struck a chord. I started reading it immediately on my kindle app and I have been turning to food and alcohol more than when I'd first moved back. Each chapter I've read has left me with a lump in my throat and I can relate to everything.
I feel so weak that my childhood and lack of parenting (they were there physically, my mum didn't work) is potentially the root of all my food issues and insecurity. I'm half way through the book and while its really difficult to read and really difficult to look back at my childhood and acknowledge my emotions I think that maybe there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. Like what if this is the turning point of becoming a version of myself who doesn't need to turn to food for comfort and can be confident in who I am?
I've read a lot of self help books, which did nothing. I don't know, I guess this is just a ramble. I dreamt last night that my mum told me she never loved me and that I was just a burden and everyone actually hates me. I woke up feeling very alone in a full house.
Has anyone else had a moment of ah ha! This is why I'm like this? Does knowing the cause make it easier to work through?
Thanks for reading, I've always lurked and never post but I don't share this kind of thing with anyone else.
[Discussion] How long did it take you to get to where you are?
/u/moonchldx [5'1'' | 114.4 | 21.7 | -11lbs | F | ]
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:08:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd9qv/how_long_did_it_take_you_to_get_to_where_you_are/
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What’s your current weight and height?
How long did it take to get to where you are?
*** Not looking for tips; I’ve been battling ana and ARFID for 10+ years***
I’m 5’1’’ currently 114; highest weight 125; lowest weight 85 (in 2012-2015) I honestly don’t remember how long it took me but I kept that weight for about 3 years going from 85-90 back and forth...
It took me 2.5 weeks to get from 125 to 114 and I’ve been stuck here...
I guess I just wanted to see how everyone else deals with weight plateau... it sucks!
It’s 1pm here and I’ve had 485 calories so far...
hoping to stay under 800!
Hope everyone’s day is amazing so far!
xx
I ate a takeaway and I hate myself
/u/j4ckson
Created: Thu Oct 25 13:03:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd8f3/i_ate_a_takeaway_and_i_hate_myself/
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It was still probably under my allowed calories for the day but ugh why am I like this
Do you enjoy looking at pictures of food you will never eat? Are you a weaboo? Well I just hit the gold mine.
/u/Oat_fiber [5'2" | 115.6lbs | 31F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:57:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd6ej/do_you_enjoy_looking_at_pictures_of_food_you_will/
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http://kfm.sakura.ne.jp/ekiben/
[Rant/Rave] tfw you’ve restricted all day but coworkers want to go to happy hour
/u/staystressin
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:56:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd64t/tfw_youve_restricted_all_day_but_coworkers_want/
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I hate liquid cals 😩 and, it’s a local brewery aka limited selection of options. Hoping they’ll have something with a low abv content & I can just sip on one the whole time.
[Rant/Rave] Staying busy...
/u/moonchldx [5'1'' | 114.4 | 21.7 | -11lbs | F | ]
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:53:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd5bi/staying_busy/
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I’ve been all over the place the past 3 weeks...
With EVERYTHING in my life...
Working graveyard has really messed with my eating and routines...(I know I have to make new routines) it’s just tough!
Well anyways I miss everyone on here will start coming on more often, I post quite a bit on tumblr...
Haven’t lost or gained weight... I guess that’s a plus ?!
xx
[Discussion] Does anyone have this problem?
/u/elle_pitch
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:51:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd4m4/does_anyone_have_this_problem/
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I started losing weight really fast when I was knee deep into my ED and my good friend at the time became incredibly jealous. Saying I was losing weight to steal men away from her. I’ve lost friends before but it’s usually due to me isolating myself to avoid eating. I felt really guilty but stealing men was never my intention. How do you guys deal with the backlash?
[Rant/Rave] I feel guilty for starving myself. Anyone else experienced this?
/u/abstract_psycho
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:41:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd1fr/i_feel_guilty_for_starving_myself_anyone_else/
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This is my first time posting on this sub. Note that English isn't my native language.
I needed to say this to someone today so I thought of this sub since no one in my real life would understand.
I have a history of struggling with anorexia nervosa. I haven't been triggered in a long time.
I've met a woman who had similar experience to mine. I also watched To the Bone a long time ago and I realised how disgusting my behaviour was. So I kind of... stopped. I struggled to eat normal amounts of food but I got there.
I've had a busy schedule in the last couple of days so I didn't eat. If I still had an eating disorder, I would continue to starve myself. Instead, I went home and ate some pasta, meat and veggies.
BUT yesterday night when I went to a bar with a friend after a long day, I started to feel disgusting because: a) I drank three big cups of black coffee; b) I didn't eat anything all day and I felt so empty, but in a bad way.
I actually felt very guilty.
Has anyone ever experienced something similar?
I had an amazing dream
/u/barbieprivilege
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rd150/i_had_an_amazing_dream/
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The most amazing pizza, so delicious, was only 7 calories/slice 😭
Nervous about my bf moving in with me bc I know he will make me eat
/u/alderfae
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:35:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rczon/nervous_about_my_bf_moving_in_with_me_bc_i_know/
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Let me start off with saying I love my bf and he is a truly wonderful man and I know he cares about me. I bought a house, and he's decided to move from his apt into my place with me and my roommate. He always makes sure I eat something whenever he is around. It sucks because whenever we are around food, it is never food I've prepared myself. It is always at a restaurant or it is when he cooks (he loves to cook). He knows I have issues with weight and body image - he also struggled with weight and he encourages me to exercise and get healthy with him and he is proud of me for the weight I lost (I used to be REALLY big before we met). I don't think he understands how much anxiety I get when I have to eat food I don't know the nutrition facts on. And with him moving in, he is going to see how little I eat and that it is worse than he thought. I'm not sure what to do or how to feel.
[Help] How long should I fast... I’m not losing weight at all
/u/miserablemei [Height: 5’1| CW: 153 |SW: 168| Female]
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:22:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcvhf/how_long_should_i_fast_im_not_losing_weight_at_all/
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I just feel like screaming! I haven’t lost a single pound in the past 2 weeks and I’m only eating 700 calories and I’m on my treadmill daily. At this point I should just fast since I’m already hungry as shit anyways. How long should I fast to lose 10lbs (not including water weight)? I feel disgusting like a lump of lard of something. My boyfriend and I haven’t been intimate in TWO MONTHS he won’t even kiss me and I think it’s because I’m just too fat and ugly... Can someone help me? I feel helpless at this point
[Rant/Rave] I found out coffee & bronkaid makes me too physically ill to eat.
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:18:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcu7p/i_found_out_coffee_bronkaid_makes_me_too/
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Last time I posted I had a virus, NOPE! The combo just makes me physically ill and have the same effects as a stomach bug. That day I actually stuck to my goal & only ate 800cal.. I’d be lying if I said I’m not going to abuse this
What do you guys do when you hit a plateau?
/u/Diet123x [5'3 | cw 137 | gw 110 🍉🥑🍟🍔]
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:14:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcszl/what_do_you_guys_do_when_you_hit_a_plateau/
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So I do this very annoying thing where after a couple days of plateau, I say f it and binge. Sometimes it helps me get out of the plateau but most of the time, it’s just terrible after. Just curious how you guys react to plateaus!
[Rant/Rave] Binged even though I swore I wouldn’t
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:13:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcsso/binged_even_though_i_swore_i_wouldnt/
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I tried to just eat a normal meal but ended up eating way more than I should have and now I feel like shit physically and emotionally. I wish I could purge but I’m in between classes and I’m too nervous someone may hear me fml why do I do this?
2 for 1 anorexia special
/u/whatteverrrrrrrrrrrr
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:12:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcsf4/2_for_1_anorexia_special/
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Broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years last night, also living on my own away from parents which means i'll finally be able to make some real progress
Also have my wisdom teeth coming in on one side of my mouth - super painful and definitely makes me not want to eat
Just hoping I can get through til next year with minimal hair loss
This is allegedly an example of fatlogic. For me, it's true.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcrk8/this_is_allegedly_an_example_of_fatlogic_for_me/
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https://i.redd.it/2j4m6ciij6u11.png
[Rant/Rave] the void is devouring me lol
/u/basicvodkaboy [5‘9“ | CW 125lbs| Weight Lost: 55lbs | male]
Created: Thu Oct 25 12:02:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcp5o/the_void_is_devouring_me_lol/
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My therapist is, yet again, on vacation (she’s living her best life!), and I therefore need to rant about my disgusting excuse of an existence.
Today was a bad day. I binged. And then I proceeded to purge for half an hour because I am a pathetic piece of shit.
Because, of course, we can’t let go of the Store’s promotion on mini pizzas: 1,49€ per pack of 9 instead of 2,49€ (1,69$ instead of 2,83$ for the unfortunate inhabitatants of the train wreck that calls itself the USA).
But wait, you’re probably asking yourself, *how did we get there*?
So, ya favorite boi decided to leave his nest for groceries (I.e. cauliflower, apples, and vodka; somebody please take the pain out of my existence) today, and found out that mini pizzas are on sale. So, after filling my shopping cart up with nutritious, filling and satisfying Pink Lady Apples, Absolut Vodka, frozen cauliflower and sugar free Schweppes Indian Tonic Water to please my cravings for a truly Satisfying Meal™, I decided to fuck it up.
I bought mini pizzas. And burgers. And Donuts. Because, maybe these glutteonous items of Nutrition will fill up the all-devouring void that I have instead of a soul.
And then I went home and proceeded to eat 18 mini pizzas (wait a minute), two burgers (*stop, this is just obscene*) and two donuts (***dear god what the fuck is going on***). And then I purged like there’s no tomorrow (my gag reflex is sitting in the corner of the room btw, violently crying and considering to leave me after the abuse I put it through), because we can’t let these 2500 calories ruin our day, am I right????
And the all-devouring void is satisfied now, isn’t it???
Oh
Oh no
OH NO
It isn’t!
Well. What a fucking coincidence. I am still fucking hungry and fucked up. The Void™ is still there.
So how do we cope with this? Better drink yourself unconscious and hit up some guy so that you can hate yourself while he admires your post-purge \[120lbs body\]([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2HLDPmvhss](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2HLDPmvhss)) while you fucking hate yourself. At least my gag reflex won’t have any problems with that
[Other] Any French people here?
/u/Burlesqua [🌷 5'4'' | CW:108 | BMI:18 | 20/F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 11:59:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcnua/any_french_people_here/
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Sometimes I feel like I’m the only French gal browsing this sub haha
Manifestez-vous les gens ! 😂
[Other] Any French ppl in the sub?
/u/Burlesqua [🌷 5'4'' | CW:108 | BMI:18 | 20/F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 11:57:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcnay/any_french_ppl_in_the_sub/
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Sometimes I feel like I’m the only French gal here haha
Manifestez-vous les gens ! 😂❤️
[Rant/Rave] I probably need help, but not for the eating stuff.
/u/raininginkyoto_ [5'3 | CW170 | GW115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 11:40:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rchu7/i_probably_need_help_but_not_for_the_eating_stuff/
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So I'm in a bit of a strange dilemma. Basically I have really terrible anxiety, like to the point where it's fucked up a lot of my life, as well as depressive phases, a rly bad medical phobia, and obviously, as I'm here, a fucked up relationship with food.
I know I really need to get help for my anxiety and depression (and probably my phobia at some point), which means probably signing myself up for therapy through uni (if nothing else so that I can eventually get on anti anxiety meds if I need them).
The problem is that I don't want to have to deal with my issues with food. I'm still overweight bordering obese (I'm stuck in a great cycle of weeks of 400cal/day followed by weeks of like 3000cal/day), so it's not like it would be noticed, but I know I'd have to lie about food if it came up - which to me just defeats the point of even trying to get help.
I was in therapy when i was 16 and I think part of why it barely did anything to help is that I just wasn't honest, as I kept lying about my self harming and my issues with my weight and self-esteem. I know if I go to therapy now I'll have to do the same (but lie about drinking habits rather than self-harming now instead) because I don't see my eating as a huge problem, and while I know I'll be told to drink less I just... don't want to. Which I know sounds insane and addict-ish, but it's more just that these things don't really cause an issue in my life, and my otherproblems do.
This kinda just turned into an incoherent rant, but for any lovely people who have read, any advice?
[Discussion] Anyone else NOT obsessed with food?
/u/teahontas
Created: Thu Oct 25 11:30:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcehx/anyone_else_not_obsessed_with_food/
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I see a lot of posts by people obsessing over food, desiring food that they can’t have, fantasizing about eating, etc.
I get the obsession with counting calories and everything else. But the idea of food itself, other than needing it to survive, it doesn’t really phase me.
Unless it’s that time of the month for me, I don’t really deal with many cravings. At least I haven’t in awhile. I have no interest in eating, literally nothing sounds good to me. I can count through a list of all my favorite things and there’s not a single thing that I truly want to eat. I don’t like eating, I don’t like food. I don’t like the idea of either of those things. I just do what I have to in order to survive/keep people from being worried about me.
I don’t know, I kind of feel alone in this aspect. I see so many memes and posts from people obsessing about food and it’s just something that doesn’t really interest me.
After discussing this with my boyfriend, I’m hoping that once I have my own kitchen again, I’ll start to enjoy the idea of food more because I really love the aspect of cooking and creating food, especially for my family to eat. But even then, I always served my family first and I would only eat one serving, if that. I always enjoyed trying the food I made but eating it, after a few bites, the joy just isn’t there.
I hope this doesn’t offend anyone as that most certainly is not my intentions here. I just am wondering if anyone else can relate to this?
EC(A) stack question
/u/aceshighsays [5'2" | +7.6 | LW: 107.8 | GW: 109]
Created: Thu Oct 25 11:29:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rcegy/eca_stack_question/
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I've been taking it on and off since March of this year. I've taken about 120 Bronkaid pills in total. Lately I've notice that if I take eca stack I have energy and I want to go out and do stuff. If I don't take em, I'm too tired to do anything. I gained about 9 pounds since I started taking eta. Help? How long will it take for me to quit eca and get back my energy?
I can’t tell WHAT I look like???
/u/sriracha_henny [5'2"/157 | CW: 149/68 | UGW: 97/44 | LW: 129 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 11:03:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rc5wz/i_cant_tell_what_i_look_like/
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Recently, the scale has shown me a weight that’s consistently a few pounds lighter than what I expect. Then, my super rude grandpa said behind my back that I had lost weight. Thing is, I’ve been trying (and failing) to fast every day this week and I end up just eating one huge meal at night, which is NOT a recipe for weight loss. I look fatter, I feel fatter, my waist has literally vanished beneath bloat, everything about me seems fatter. So what the fuck???
Have I finally lost the ability to tell what I look like? Because all I see is a fat ugly fuck lol
[Rant/Rave] I’m so tired of being like this
/u/Lillie1990 [20F| 5’4 | CW 122.2 | GW 110]
Created: Thu Oct 25 10:58:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rc4c5/im_so_tired_of_being_like_this/
---
Honestly I’m so over it
For the last week I can’t think of anything that I’ve kept down. I have this nagging hunger because as soon as my body gets any type of nourishment, I throw it all up. I have 0 energy, I can’t even get out of bed. It takes everything in me to get up and get ready for work, so I’ve been late these past few days. I can’t stop binging, except instead of an actual binge it’s a 400 calorie meal or a few hundred worth of snacks, but I get so scared when I feel that food in my stomach and throw it up. My room smells, I can’t take out the trash because you can smell it through the bag and my family is home. I feel helpless, I want to just eat but I can’t. But I can’t restrict either, I took bronkaid and caffeine but I end up eating anyways. I have no energy, even with vitamins etc. My boss jokingly said I have an eating disorder. It’s funny because I do. I get drunk at work, go home and binge, and then I throw it all up and wake up feeling worse than empty. My relationships are failing, I hardly talk to my family or friends. I feel so lost and out of control. I keep telling myself I’ll eat a regular balanced meal tomorrow so i can avoid the post restriction binges. But then I get too scared to eat because I end up eating everything in sight. It’s honestly just not fair. I can’t believe I’ve become this and it’s so hard to deal with. So fucking embarrassing. Im a nightmare.
[Help] DAE intensely crave salty food when restricting?
/u/peyton2724 [5'9'' | CW: 145 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 10:41:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbyzm/dae_intensely_crave_salty_food_when_restricting/
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I’m sorry if this is general ED knowledge that I was never cued in to, but does anyone else have the intense need for salt when they’re restricting?
It’s been happening more when I have heavy restriction days - but I have been exclusively eating food that’s so salty I wouldn’t be able to handle it normally. I’m literally sitting here with a salt shaker and licking salt out of my palm as I’m writing this.
Why is this happening? Please tell me I’m not alone here.
Behold human yo-yo!
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Thu Oct 25 10:24:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbtbp/behold_human_yoyo/
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Everytime I hit my lowest weight of this relapse, I binge. Then gain. Then restrict... hit that lowest weight. Then binge again. Not only is it taking a toll on my body, but my head is just messed up with it all.
Every time
/u/cherryxnut
Created: Thu Oct 25 10:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbsru/every_time/
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A weird kind of symmetry
/u/IridescentLesbian
Created: Thu Oct 25 10:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbsk2/a_weird_kind_of_symmetry/
---
This is probably not at all interesting to you guys but I needed to tell someone... This is the only place I feel like I can do that.
So I'm at the beginning of a big relapse. I previously was diagnosed with bulimia after a period of heavy restriction and b/p in 2012-16 when I was in secondary school. This was when I was around 14-18 years old. I got to my lowest weight during this time (77lbs). I used to spend a lot of time on forums like myproana and sometime in 2015 I got a message from an old friend from primary school. She told me she saw I had lost a lot of weight and had seen my posts on mpa. She also suffered from an eating disorder. We had a short conversation about it and didnt really talk again after that. I had thought she'd gone to college in England a couple years ago.
Anyways, I have spent the last two or three years eating my way to obesity ("recovered") and recently relapsed. Then, today, I saw that same friend on my college campus. Idk it felt strange, maybe I'm overthinking a very simple coincidence but it feels... important.
Saw photos of myself from 3 years ago....
/u/xpetitallegro [5'7" | SW: 170 | CW: 154 | GW: 100 | 26F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 09:55:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbjyq/saw_photos_of_myself_from_3_years_ago/
---
Sorry, I just need to rant.... one of those days, guys.
I was cleaning out one of my hard drives and stumbled upon a photoshoot that I did with my sister 3 years ago. I had just finished going through treatment and was at a fairly healthy 120-125 lbs at the time. In fact, I was the same size as my sister (who was 15 at the time). I wore a size 4 in clothing. I had a very nice hourglass shape, collarbones, cheekbones that didn't look like they came off a skeleton, and actually pretty good taste in clothing and hairstyling. Like, if I saw my 2015 self on Tinder, I'd swipe the hell right.
The thing is, my mother at the time thought I was fat. I had just gotten over an ex (because of the treatment thing, ya know?) I saw myself gain back some weight from "doing recovery" (I started around 105) and I panicked. I hadn't seen 120 on the scale in a while. I thought a size 4 was the devil because I used to wear 0's. I had no self confidence and was single, freshly graduated, living by myself, and in a new city away from my friends. Recipe for disaster. I thought I was a whale at 120. I thought I was a failure. I got so depressed.
I ballooned to 170 and now I'm back in the low 150's. But seeing those photos really opened my eyes to how FUCKED UP body dysmorphia is. I was miserable in 2015, but nowadays I would give my firstborn to look like that again. I was in a healthy and - dare I say it, IDEAL - weight range (BMI 18-19). I had so much opportunity ahead of me in a new city, away from a toxic ex, looking HOT AF at 23.
But I couldn't see what I had. I couldn't see how fortunate I was to have succeeded in treatment and come out the other end with a good body and good circumstances. All I could see was WHAT A FAILURE I was (even though I wasn't one at all).
And now I'm here, 154 as of this morning, with even less self-confidence, in a job I don't enjoy, living in a city I hate, wondering "when will my life begin?", and wishing I could turn back time to 2015 and tell that poor girl that she has it all.
Sleep eating
/u/gr0p3d
Created: Thu Oct 25 09:50:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbif9/sleep_eating/
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I can go all day without eating just fine but then suddenly I find myself waking from a dead sleep in front of the fridge at 2 am eating something ridiculously unhealthy. This happens quite often. Anybody else?
[Discussion] DAE carry ‘safety food’ around with them?
/u/nobodyfast
Created: Thu Oct 25 09:44:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbgjq/dae_carry_safety_food_around_with_them/
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I was only in uni for an hour today yet I brought carrot sticks, green beans, cereal bars and 5 packs of gum with me as well as a monster, Diet Coke and water. I didn’t eat any of it and didn’t intend to, I’m having less than 450 a day and wasn’t even worried about being tempted but I just like the safety blanket of having all these safe options with me? If I don’t bring all this shit with me everywhere I get super anxious and just want to get home where it feels safe.
[Discussion] Starting to document my weight loss journey on IG - anyone else?
/u/MadameFizzgig
Created: Thu Oct 25 09:43:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbgav/starting_to_document_my_weight_loss_journey_on_ig/
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I'm brand new to IG, no posts yet or anything. I don't even really know how it works. But, I'm starting to document my weight loss journey. Anyone else have a similar themed IG and want to follow each other? Mine's: moonlitmagpie
[Discussion] Anyone skip days of eating after binges?
/u/Shewantstolive
Created: Thu Oct 25 09:40:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbf2v/anyone_skip_days_of_eating_after_binges/
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That’s what I’m doing today . Gained only two pounds this time after my binge yesterday but today I’m really hoping to fast . I’ve only had a little bit of a monster so far, I binged so much that my insides hurt really bad it’s rediculous. I just want to be skinny for fuck sake already. I’d like to fast till Halloween , that’s my goal . I just want to see 135 on the scale that’s all I want right now . My husband gave me a hug the other day and he kind of tried to lift me while hugging me and at 137 pounds and I could tell it was a struggle to lift me and that made me feel really awkward and sad . I just want to be a doll for him , dainty and small like he likes . I’m in this mind place where I need to find meanspo. Such a dark place of mind right now .
[Rant/Rave] The scale did not disappoint for once!
/u/SkinnyFatActually [5’2”| 102 lb|-8| F| 18.7]
Created: Thu Oct 25 09:34:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbd9y/the_scale_did_not_disappoint_for_once/
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So before yesterday I ate just under maintenance for a few days, then yesterday I ate about 700 which is low for me but I felt fed, then this morning hopped on the scale and it was 99.6 lbs! That’s a mini whoosh in my books! I’ve been pretty depressed and stuck at 102, so I was really surprised. I hope all you beauties have a lovely day 💕💕💕
[Rant/Rave] I wooshed in the wrong direction.... 😭
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Oct 25 09:31:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rbc9s/i_wooshed_in_the_wrong_direction/
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I honestly love reading about y’alls wooshes, like a little ray of hope that a fuck up might not be so bad. But for my body, there is only bad...
Been restricting to 500 cals a day for the better part of 2 months, then went on a water fast for 6 days last week and went back to 500 cals a day. But in the last 4 days i gain back 3 pounds and couldn’t lose it. So of course i got pissed and let myself binge on 3000 cals of pizza, bread, soup, eggs, chocolate, and avocado.... i’m 5 pounds heavier... I just gained back all my hard work from fasting....
😭
Made a joke about my meaty thighs and my friend said "Yeah, but you don't have any meat. You're all bones"
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Oct 25 08:53:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rb0jo/made_a_joke_about_my_meaty_thighs_and_my_friend/
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Fuck you you fucking idiot. This is what's wrong with America. I have a bmi of 19.9, I promise I have fucking meat and flesh and fat and I'm just gonna lose more of it.
I sprinkled Ritz cracker dust into the bulk bag of Craisens
/u/RunLikeTh3Winded
Created: Thu Oct 25 08:35:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rauzr/i_sprinkled_ritz_cracker_dust_into_the_bulk_bag/
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Because I have Celiac disease and it’s literally the only thing that will keep me from eating / gorging on my kids’ dried fruit.
My brain is wrong. 🙃🙃🙃
Even at my peak, I achieved nothing
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | CW (Fat) | LW (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Thu Oct 25 08:31:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ratmc/even_at_my_peak_i_achieved_nothing/
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I'm fucking super fat as fuck now because I've been binging for months, but I decided to check a BMI calculator and enter in my lowest weight that I've ever been just for shits and giggles. Triggered as fuck. I just realized I literally was NEVER even in anorexia nervosa territory. What.
The.
Fuuuuuucckkkkkkkk...
I checked like 5 or 6 calculators of varying specificity and they all pretty much said that I was never really truly anorexic, which pisses me off because I'll be fucked if I didn't feel that way during my time of extreme restriction (i.e., I was feeling like absolute shit and tired all the time, but now I know that it was only a placebo effect because I was always only on the low end of average).
GGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. LRSDGNGSNL A p;e;ns-r sbel
fuck I'm so pissed. Losing weight gave me a tangible sense of achievement when it felt like I couldn't do anything else right in my life, and now I'm being told that I didn't even achieve anything then. Wish I could have the balls to just off myself, but I know I'd get that wrong somehow, too.
Anyways, rant over. I might delete this later. this is stupid
anyone have parents who fuel ur ed?
/u/goatberri
Created: Thu Oct 25 08:04:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ralch/anyone_have_parents_who_fuel_ur_ed/
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recently my dad who has BPD and probably NPD and makes my family’s lives a living hell says he won’t take medication to stop his anger issues cause ‘he will get fat like me’ since i have to take meds for the shit he’s put me through
even tho meds don’t even make u gain weight it’s me finally getting my depression in order and wanting to eat more but now i haven’t eaten for like 3 days bc of that comment lmfao should i stop the meds too???? lose more weight??? thanks man lmao
I was doing good this week
/u/b-carbonate [5’6" | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 21.6 | 🏳️🌈 | 19F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 08:00:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rajvx/i_was_doing_good_this_week/
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I was at a steady 800-1400 calories a day, had judo Monday and fitness today and....then I missed 4 classes because anxiety and I just ordered 40€ of dominos pizza and it’s 5440 calories .... guys I don’t even know why, I was about to have a class I love and suddenly /fuck that shit you’re gonna screw everything and use the money you’re trying to save for a Fitbit so it doesn’t appear on your bank account/
I don’t know how to not binge because it’s not really emotional nor boredom, it just strikes me in the middle of nowhere anywhere.....
Fuck I was doing good, I’m finally at 59kg ad was like that for at least 3 days so I know it’s my actual weight and not just water and stuff...
Im sorry guys I keep ranting and ranting :(
[Other] Reminder!
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 07:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9rajlx/reminder/
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Don’t forget to get your flu shots lovelies!! ❤️
Last year I didn’t get mine and I got sick at the end of the season when I was fasting 3-5 days out of the week. I had never had the flu before and I hadn’t been anywhere near that sick in years and missed a weeks worth of work and classes!!
Our disorder leaves our bodies vulnerable so lease protect yourselves ❤️
[Rant/Rave] I’ve always been so paranoid about PCOS screwing up any estimated TDEE but!!!! iifym comin in clutch. I’m so excited
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Thu Oct 25 07:56:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9raipe/ive_always_been_so_paranoid_about_pcos_screwing/
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https://i.redd.it/df3d1iiv7cu11.jpg
Counter productive calorie restriction?
/u/WildRumpusStart
Created: Thu Oct 25 07:18:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ra7wi/counter_productive_calorie_restriction/
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My first post here - I don't feel like I can post this anywhere weeks without advice/judgment I don't want.
I've been great about maintaining ~500kcal/day by drinking a protein shake in the morning, skipping lunch, and having a low-cal dinner. I probably walk off those 500 calories during the day as well.
I was lamenting to a friend about why my scale went budge. She claims my body is holding on to my fat because it doesn't know when it will get food again and that I won't lose weight like this.
Is there any truth to this? I really don't want to increase my calories at all. It's a slippery slope and I'm happy that my body seems to have adjusted to the restriction as far as my lack of hunger, but I need to keep losing.
[Intro] Back at this again [tw]
/u/homgerygorl
Created: Thu Oct 25 06:59:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ra26w/back_at_this_again_tw/
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Tldr at the bottom i just kinda thought dumped
Its weird how when you consider yourself in good mental health the bad habits come back..
Call me apri i guess
Tried B/Ping when i was around 12/13 years old, Restricted when i was 14, Tried healthy weightloss at 15,
And here we are
At nearly *300 pounds*
My lowest weight was when i *wasnt* losing weight running everyday and religiously counting calories, and that wasnt even in the 190s
"Ill try fasting" i thought. 3 days in the food fear came back. A week in and im waiting not so patiently to go home where im comfortable purging even tho im on a relatively empty stomach rn, not even trying to track my binge last night because i didnt weigh anything, didnt measure anything, i just went for it 🙃
I plan on coffee/water fasting till tomorrow if i can manage it
Maybe i can make friends here. Maybe not. Either way i want so desperately to lose here i am. I never tried using reddit as a... source? Support? Not sure, either way i didnt use it before. Perhaps (hopefully) itll work better than tumblr did because that...that got me nowhere
**tl;dr:**
Apri | f | 16 | 5'9" | cw: 290 lbs | restriction / binge & purge / no diagnosis
[Other] If pics kick off your dysmorphia (like me), here's a subreddit showing how the angles work. Self love matters too <3
/u/anthrthrowawayreddit
Created: Thu Oct 25 06:57:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ra1kt/if_pics_kick_off_your_dysmorphia_like_me_heres_a/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/instagramreality/
I think my weightloss is too slow but I fail when I want to go faster
/u/Freaks-Cacao [176cm | 71,5kg | 22,3 | 3,5kg | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 25 06:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r9w9x/i_think_my_weightloss_is_too_slow_but_i_fail_when/
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This is unfair :'( Here is my weightloss since I started in august :
August 10 : 74 kg ~ (163lbs ~)
August 20: 72 kg~ (159lbs ~)
August 30 : 70,5 kg~ (155lbs ~)
September 10 : 69,5 kg~ (153lbs~)
September 20 : 68,7 kg ~ (150lbs~)
September 30 : 67,3 kg~ (148lbs~)
October 10 : 66,7 kg~ (147 lbs ~)
October 20 : 65,7 kg~ (145 lbs ~)
Not even 10 kg in 3 months. I see girls losing this amount in a single month. Everytime I try to fast longer than a day I end up binging more than what I would have eaten in two days of normal restricting, so I decided to keep restricting around 800 calories until I reach my goal. At least I am losing steadily, but I can't shake this idea in my head that **I am slow and bad**. It means that I'm starting to feel bad about my weightloss instead of feeling proud.
How do you do with these kind of ideas ? I know that slow progress is better than no progress but I still can't feel proud and I just feel bitter about it.
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else restrict better in winter?
/u/Shh_its_not_me_yo [5'7 | CW: 132.4 | HW: 188 | GW: 108 |F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 06:30:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r9ufb/anyone_else_restrict_better_in_winter/
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I’m in Florida, so winter still means somewhat reasonable temperatures, but I am always way better at restricting when it cools off. I think it’s partially because warm food and drinks are filling and comforting and satisfying (sugar free hot cocoa and cider, anyone??).
Also, summer always means more alcohol related events and vacations, which never helps weight loss. I know the winter holidays revolve around food, but I find it easy to turn down party food, especially when I can be sipping something warm instead!
That’s all. I’m just excited because I feel like I can finally get back on track and lose the freaking 10 pounds I gained since March!!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 25 06:09:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r9p4x/daily_food_diary_october_25_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 25, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Weekly Emotional Support October 25, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 25 06:09:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r9p3m/weekly_emotional_support_october_25_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] Any other people people have a bad body odor even after showering?
/u/Aydsey [5’4” | CW: 88 lbs | GW: 80 lbs | BMI: 15.1 |F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 06:00:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r9mmd/any_other_people_people_have_a_bad_body_odor_even/
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I’m heavily restricting to about 0-400 cals a day, some days I just fast, and the other days are when I eat a bit. Ever since I hit the 80’s I’ve slowly noticed I smell....
I do have a an excessive sweating problem called hyperhidrosis but it’s never made my sweat smell so strongly. Also for the longest time ever I’ve used a product to block it and it’s worked wonders.
So I don’t think sweating is to blame for this rank stank. I even take baths and lather myself real well and 20+ minutes afterwards I’m able to smell the odor again!
Am I deficient in something? — I probably am I take no vitamins or supplements.
I’m also getting frequent nose bleeds, another symptom of deficiency?
[Rant/Rave] I love my Huawei
/u/lattephobia
Created: Thu Oct 25 04:55:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r977p/i_love_my_huawei/
---
Like, not only is this thing half the price of a Fitbit with all the bells and whistles (notifications, waterproof, bpm, sleep monitor, outdoor run/bike settings, swim, deep breathing) I just found out after updating my jog this morning that this bitch has customizable training plans WITH REMINDERS.
New non-weight goal- take my filthy casual morning 2.5k average up to a full 5k 3x a week by Thanksgiving.
Fuck. Yes.
I'm kicking myself in the ass for not clicking that part of the app way sooner.
[Tip] Australians of proED, what are your supermarket staples?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 04:19:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8znv/australians_of_proed_what_are_your_supermarket/
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Only y'all will be as excited as I was...
/u/Bakedalaska1 [5'5.5" | 128.4 | GW:120]
Created: Thu Oct 25 04:14:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8ynj/only_yall_will_be_as_excited_as_i_was/
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Went on a tinder date with a British guy last night (in the US) and HE KNEW A GIRL WHO WAS ON SUPERSIZE VS SUPERSKINNY. I was so star struck lol. He showed me her facebook, (she looks less super skinny now) and said that she called it a weird experience and that she and her sister were both the thinnest people ever. I tried to not let on how weirdly obsessed I am with that show but I'm certain I failed lol.
I feel like my body has permanently changed, for the worse.
/u/katiegoodluck [171cm | 52.1kg | BMI: 17.8 | 23kgs lost | Female ]
Created: Thu Oct 25 04:10:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8xun/i_feel_like_my_body_has_permanently_changed_for/
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TW: Abortion, sex work
I wanted to start off with some triggers, because I guess my life recently has covered some pretty serious, controversial topics lately. But yeah hey, I guess this is an intro post too.
I did not give a fuck about what I was eating, hadn't restricted in YEAAARS and was embracing my body. A huge part of that was sex work, even though I had a body that was too big to be skinny or slim and too small to be a BBW,but I still got plenty of paid work and a fair few fans/supporters which made me feel like a queen!
Then, everything goes to shit. I fell pregnant. And then had to have a surgical abortion. Before I went in to the Dr's, they asked how much I weighed, and I knew it was easily hitting near 75kgs. When I got weighed, I was only 69 (score!).
Going through recovery from the surgery effected my appetite a huge amount, as did the ensuing depression that my hormones wouldn't stop telling me was real.
It's only been two weeks since this happened, and I've dropped 17kgs! But my body is not the same anymore. If I was at this weight a few years ago, I'd have NO stomach and no extra fat on my hips, but I still do! My BMI says I'm underweight, but my body isn't changing. I haven't eaten properly for a week and I'm CONSTANTLY drinking water, but I'm so stuck. Help!
Fitbit peeps?
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 97ish | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 03:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8s60/fitbit_peeps/
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(I know this topic comes up from time to time, but I always seem to miss the posts when they're fresh.)
Anyone want to be Fitbit friends? I don't have anyone that knows me IRL (because I'm a paranoid fuck but y'all get me so I don't mind) and I really want to do some of the challenges and stuff that require you to not be an anti-social loser such as myself..
Anyways, if anyone is down for that, I guess you can inbox me. 💙
Is Starbucks lying to me about Cold Brew calories??? It’s saying a venti is 29 calories when I thought it was 5 lol fml
/u/refinnejjjj
Created: Thu Oct 25 03:27:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8p5g/is_starbucks_lying_to_me_about_cold_brew_calories/
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https://i.redd.it/ynym6cxvvau11.jpg
I have a date...
/u/BleuBird18
Created: Thu Oct 25 02:49:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8i8e/i_have_a_date/
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This will be my first date since I ended my (abusive) relationship of nearly 6 years.
The guy in question is amazing. We have been talking for quite some time (email, phone, and Skype). I am so nervous and I am trying to ignore the way I feel about my body.
Pros: he knows that I am focused on losing weight, but is attracted to me as I am. His only comment is that he wants to make sure I am losing weight for myself, and not for others. No problem there! I want to lose weight until I stop feeling like a visual blight. :P
I am 40 hours into my current fast. My previous fast was 94 hours, and I had one meal (omelette) before starting this one.
He's considerate, and has no tolerance for a lot of typical male bullshittery, on top of being confident without straying into asshole territory.
Part of me is so hopeful and excited, the other part keeps spouting filth and bile. "Why the fuck did you agree to a date, you cow? He's going to laugh in your face if you actually show up. This is probably a practical joke for a new prank show."
I don't have a scale (not that I actually want to know how much I weigh right now), but I keep trying to figure out how much more I can lose over the next 24 hours.
Oh, bonus: he knows I fast! He isn't familiar with it, but I don't have to make excuses about not eating. Really excited about that. 😈
Those who do OMAD; what time?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Thu Oct 25 02:37:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8gbn/those_who_do_omad_what_time/
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I'm trying to ease into one meal a day plus a very small snack (so technically two meals, I found that OMAD and longer fasting itself increases my cortisol and I'm SUPER paranoid about hair loss because all my hair fell out after a long term fast lol).Those who do it, which meal do you have?
I tried dinner, but all I do all day is just count down the hours to that meal. Doing lunch is fine, but I hate the idea of not being allowed to eat after that one :/ Breakfast I'm not usually hungry.
[Discussion] When do you guys consider the start of a fast?
/u/gayandirresponsible [5'3" | 120 | BF 20% | -50 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 02:18:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8cyv/when_do_you_guys_consider_the_start_of_a_fast/
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I've been generally starting my timer when I get up. However, lately I've been feeling that it's not accurate enough. I'm debating between starting it right before I go to bed, or after I've finished eating for the day. I'm leaning towards before I go to bed since I feel that starting it right after I've ate there's still a lot of food processing in my stomach?
What about y'all?
Back to my first addiction now, I guess.
/u/throwawaybcreasons4
Created: Thu Oct 25 02:04:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8akt/back_to_my_first_addiction_now_i_guess/
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Hi guys, using my throwaway here as my main account is pretty easy to trace back to me.
So a short AF history about me - I was diagnosed with anorexia at 17 after an assault, then gradually worked my way up to the good old 18.5 'minimum' BMI (from 15) and told all my therapists to piss off, basically. I maintained around 18.5 up until I was 19-20 and in an abusive relationship, which (along with a bunch of other factors that I won't go into) led to me becoming a full-blown alcoholic. I was drinking a 750ml bottle of vodka a day plus a flask of whisky and a sheet or two of whichever pill I had on hand at the time before I hit rock bottom in May and checked into rehab. So all up, a solid 3 years of destroying myself via alcohol and a few more with starvation prior.
I've been clean and sober for 3 months now and as y'all would know, alcohol has a TONNE of empty calories - I gained around 27 pounds in active addiction. So just by cutting it out, I lost like 10 pounds in the first month. Now, I'm pretty sure I've started to fall back into my old behaviours, but more in an exercise bulimia way than before - so a little less restricting (I'm eating about 1000kcal a day, the first time around I was eating \~300) and a lot more exercise (burning at least 600 - 700kcal a day whereas I didn't really exercise at all the first time). I've lost almost all the weight now and I've got around 3 or 4 more pounds I'd like to lose before I settle for maintenance at a BMI of 19.5.
I guess I'm posting this because, well, you guys know what this disease is like. It is an addiction too, just like drugs and alcohol. It's just an addiction to a process instead of a substance. I don't actually know if I'll be able to stop once I get to 19.5. I hope I can because without revealing too much, if my housemates suspect I've gone back to anorexia with a vengeance, I'm going to have to go back to rehab. And I would rather *die* than be force fed, I was lucky enough to avoid that the first time. Man, this is tricky shit.
Sorry for the rant, stay safe today everyone ♡
i just realised something
/u/daintymaya
Created: Thu Oct 25 02:01:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r8a4c/i_just_realised_something/
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so...i dont think i will ever be able to eat normally ever again. if i reach out for help (not thinking of doing that atm) i think that i would get brushed off because im not 'unhealthy' enough.
unless i get to a bmi under 16 i honestly dont think ill ever be able to 'recover'. kinda why its my goal. :(
[Other] Got told I looked like a K-Pop idol
/u/shepanda [5'8 |CW 135 | GW 115 | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 25 01:22:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r82pb/got_told_i_looked_like_a_kpop_idol/
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Today one of my acquaintances told me that I looked like I could be a K-Pop star!! It made my day, almost all of my thinspo are idols (Lisa and Tzuyu <3). She was probably talking about my outfit or something, but I'm gonna choose to think she meant I had the looks instead haha.
I'm super happy right now :D hope all of you lovely people have a great day.
Stuck fat
/u/PeachLeak
Created: Thu Oct 25 00:52:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7wyf/stuck_fat/
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Guys, I feel like I keep messing everything up. I used to be obese in my childhood, dropped 50 lbs around 16, now I'm 19 and close to obese again.
I'm in college, I have a nice gym, I have crushes, I go to dining with one guy every other day. There's no reason why I should be staying this fat! I want to enjoy college, wear jeans not sweats, like myself again.
Appearance is so important to me, I compare myself to every girl I pass, yet I'm literally brainless when I eat. I almost can't describe it, I look at notes that say "you'll regret this" and I go "nah." I just lack the discipline, I guess. I make elaborate word documents about the billion reasons to lose weight, but then u go, ooh curly fries.
I was able to stay under 2000 today by loosely journaling my food. I feel a bit of mental progress. Ahh, I don't know, I'm just venting. You guys should see my damn word inspiration docs. They're pretty cringe. Sigh. I want to feel hot again. Explore my sense of fashion. I have so many thin clothes.
[Rant/Rave] I have been an utter mess for a while and I just need a safe place to vent.
/u/AmberMoonstone [145 | 24.1 | 19F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 00:33:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7t46/i_have_been_an_utter_mess_for_a_while_and_i_just/
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Hi guys, thought about posting this in the depression subreddit, but I feel... safer, in this subreddit, I guess?
I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life lately and my work life, and I have just been stress eating. I was off my meds for a little while (refilled them today) and I just feel like absolute and utter trash. I’ve had a lot on my plate (hah) both metaphorically and literally because what I do but turn to food. Ugh -_-
I feel very hopeless, and I feel so lonely. Other than my lovely boyfriend... I don’t really have any close friends, and it’s making me feel so lonely, especially in the hard times. I just feel like a burden to everyone around me.
Okay, angry rant over, thanks for letting me vent.
shame & secrets
/u/truemearoundyou [5'7.5 | 110 | -10lbs]
Created: Thu Oct 25 00:29:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7sc7/shame_secrets/
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i wish that we could all post photos of ourselves and our outfits with our full faces and talk at length about things without anyone outside of the community having to know. i wish we could talk about our jobs and our hobbies and our families - specifics, i mean.
i wish there wasn't so much shame involved in all of this. i wish that employers wouldn't think that we're unstable or unemployable because of our ED's. i wish we could be HONEST, like really truly honest - to a fault - without worrying that some dickhead is going to find our real social media, or families, or whatever and out us.
i was looking at my post-purge face in the mirror and felt so sad, and so alone. and i just wish i could reach out and hug you all. i truly think of proED and proEDmemes as my home. people that understand me and don't judge and just want me to feel ok. "us against the world". but we don't share names. we don't share places. we share the most intimate secrets about ourselves, but no basic info. its like having soulmates that you know nothing about.
idk. i'm sad.
[Rant/Rave] Why am I so afraid
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 117.8 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 00:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7q96/why_am_i_so_afraid/
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I’m laying here at 1:13 am bc my dumbass self had a cup of coffee at 6:15 pm with dinner and I can’t sleep even though I have to be up at 6:30 🙃. I am slowly learning the ways of the coffee, bear with me.
And just laying here on a caffeine high has really made me start thinking about my eating disorder in like a *really* deep way. And the #1 thing I can’t shake is “Why am I so afraid of food?”
When I first started losing last year I was just OMADing and not counting calories but now it’s just like numbers in relation to food/weight has consumed my life and I can’t take it anymore.
Tomorrow is my 21st birthday and I’m already dreading it bc hello alcohol and eating out. I’m having so much anxiety over what I’m going to eat over the weekend I feel like I’m going to explode.
God fucking damn it I hate this disease.
second binge day in a row
/u/glossipgirl [5"2 | 106.7 | 20.2 | -7.7 | 15F]
Created: Thu Oct 25 00:13:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7p46/second_binge_day_in_a_row/
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title is self explanatory pretty much
i bought a healthy-ish lunch and everything
and then i fucked it up
FUCK i hate myself
[Rant/Rave] And so it begins
/u/rejected_desk_puppy
Created: Thu Oct 25 00:08:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7nzb/and_so_it_begins/
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I got it. I got the first reaction and slight look of concern. It’s been happening all week y’all and I’m giddy. It started with a high ranker in my company pulling my aside to say she never notices weight gain or loss but noticed mine and wants to say I look amazing and she knows it’s hard, then a client I hadn’t seen in about 6 weeks who stopped dead and said “skinny girl”, then an old friend who needed to know every single detail so she could follow it (I fibbed and told her the healthy version). It’s fueling my fire. But I’m just now entering the healthy weight range so I know as it progresses it will change... but for now I’m happy. All those 5lbs gone that no one could see but my scale and myself and finally people are noticing
[Help] I don’t know how to approach my parents
/u/spaceindividual
Created: Wed Oct 24 23:53:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7l00/i_dont_know_how_to_approach_my_parents/
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For context I’m a dependent 17 year old guy
I’m not sure how to tell my parents I haven’t been feeling “happy” in the last years and that I want to go to a psychiatrist. I just feel sad, useless, borderline anxious; basically always on edge. When I tell them I don’t want to receive that pitying look.
The first approach I want to have with the psychiatrist is my depression. Maybe later on I will open up about my ed.
Ever hear of someone chronically ill lose a lot
/u/BetaXAuthentic [5'5"|140lbs?|23.5|40lbs|Female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 23:45:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7jgk/ever_hear_of_someone_chronically_ill_lose_a_lot/
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And got jealous of how fast or how much weight they lost?
I'm guilty. Like "oh, You have XYZ and lost 25lbs in a month?" And a ping of jealousy. It's weird to be jealous of someone who is suffering like that... Now I've been diagnosed with colitis - chronic illness, causes weight loss. I'll spare the details but I've lost 10lbs without restricting. I can fit into a size 2 (USA). This disease completely sucks. But my ED brain part is like "f**k yes!" I'm really not sure how to feel. 🙃
[Discussion] [Discussion] how effective is purging?
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Wed Oct 24 23:17:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7dp2/discussion_how_effective_is_purging/
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I am always wondering how many calories I ended up ingesting after a binge or after purging in general. Sometimes I'll flush with water and purge that too but there are diminishing returns with how much that actually gets rid of with each flush. Mostly clear and then maybe a couple more bites. I can usually only handle 1 or 2 water flushes each session.
I also wonder if chewing and spitting still ends up with some calories because of what's in your teeth or liquified and swallowed.
🎵~It's the FINAL COUNT DOWN~🎵
/u/Jenny_Roberts
Created: Wed Oct 24 23:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7a30/its_the_final_count_down/
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(on mobile! Please mark at rant/rave)
So a few months ago I signed up for a healthy wage challenge. Some of you who have done this and know, but I'll elaborate in the comments what HealthyWage is.
I've lost about 17lbs the last month or so, mainly due to fasting.
The deadline is on Friday, Ive been fasting since Sat night (longest fast I've ever done), I'm 4lbs away, and tomorrow night I'm going to a fundraiser that's gonna have super SUPER nice food, and will be having one last weekend with my family before they move overseas.
I'm such a mixed bag of emotions. Do I have my final weigh in tomorrow morning, and break my fast tonight? If I'm not down those last 4lbs, will I eat anyway or wait it out? I don't want my last weekend with family to be tainted with me being obsessed with food.
I finally fit into my dream goal dress, and it's never fit before. I can finally see my collarbones!!! My ribs!! I'm so excited to FINALLY be seeing progress. On the other hand, I feel kinda crappy. Headache, super tired, very emotional. But I've proven to myself that I CAN fast, it's not too hard for me, and I CAN beat my binging instincts!
Y'all pray for my next 48 hours, I'm gonna need it!! 😵☠️🥘🍲🍛
[Goal] Reached my October goal!
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 22:57:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r79nx/reached_my_october_goal/
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I decided some time ago to make my goals 1 kg of secure loss per month, and to stay at maintenance after I have achieved it every month. I am doing this to try to actually maintain the lower weight, and to not get too obsessive about it. This way I can be at a "Good" weight in March when I'm going for a beach vacation.
And yeah, October's goal weight was 64 kg and I have now been under 64 for four days straight, so now it counts for me ^^ (lol does anyone else do this "false until x amount of days"?)
On top of that I broke keto yesterday and had both fruit and popcorn as part of the maintenance calories, and I was still "only" 63,6 ^^
Wednesday purge on the full moon
/u/bongothebean
Created: Wed Oct 24 22:41:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r7643/wednesday_purge_on_the_full_moon/
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I’ve never posted here before.. but I’m having a bad night and just need to vent I guess.
I was ready for bed at 8. Tired. Relaxed.
My friend and I (who met through a proed Livejournal 12 years ago and ended up best friends, standing up in each other’s weddings) are trying to recover.. by tracking calories. So healthy. Please sense my sarcasm. But we are trying to be healthy. Trying to make healthy choices and not focus on a huge deficit. We’re using myfitnesspal to track a “normal” amount of calories every day and cut back on drinking and just trying to make ourselves better, happier people. Ha.
I was at 1300 around 7pm and had gone to an intense kickboxing class this evening. I had some salmon and butternut squash spirals for dinner. I technically had about 700 more calories allotted today. I had budgeted for a glass - one glass - of wine this evening to wind down and help me get to bed. Another friend called and we were on the phone for an hour and a half. Turned into 4 glasses while chatting because i miss her and often drank with her. After the call - a binge. Then a purge. Tons of cigarettes. My alarm is going to go off in 5 hours for work and I just want to die right now.
I hope someone is feeling better than me.
Eating less but still not losing weight?
/u/kimboislame
Created: Wed Oct 24 22:32:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r73xi/eating_less_but_still_not_losing_weight/
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I keep comparing myself to the beginning of last month where I was at the lowest weight I’ve been for a lonnngggg time and checking MFP I showed was eating >1400 cals then. But the past month my weight shot up 5 pounds and I’m averaging 1200 cal now and the weight is not coming off :))))))
Sorry if this is a dumb post, just wanted to rant and wanted some advice.
[Goal] Finally underweight!!
/u/hamiifan [4'11 | 89.6 | 18.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 22:14:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6ztj/finally_underweight/
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My BMI has been on the cusp of underweight for months and after so many binges and failed restrictions I finally hit 18.0!! Feels good hope I don't fuck it up tomorrow.
[Rant/Rave] Vaca
/u/bunntatt [157cm | 75kg | 30 BMI | 9kg | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 22:09:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6ykq/vaca/
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Went on a mini vacation and binge ate the whole time. Was literally uncomfortable the whole time. Now that I'm back home time to fast for a couple days! I gained 10 pounds 😱😱😱😱
[Help] An Empty Fridge Is a Happy Fridge?
/u/EngineeringAvalon
Created: Wed Oct 24 22:01:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6wjy/an_empty_fridge_is_a_happy_fridge/
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I goofed guys, and I need advice.
My roommate has been on vacation for the past week. I was planning on going grocery shopping before he got home tonight so that the fridge wasn't suspiciously empty when he got back, but I completely forgot.
To make things worse, he literally walked in on me eating a rice cake. FML.
I distracted him with questions about his trip, but I'm sure he will have more unsolicited nutrition advice for me tomorrow.
Do any of you have roommates who won't let up with the dietary advice? What do you do/say?
So far nothing I've said has stopped the onslaught of well-meaning "eat a balanced diet of plants and lean proteins" advice, despite being 10 lbs below my IBW/discharge weight. We use to share meals all the time, but it's gotten to the point that I feel to judged to eat in front of him.
I got kicked off a fitness forum
/u/metalhair
Created: Wed Oct 24 22:00:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6wb9/i_got_kicked_off_a_fitness_forum/
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They claimed I had an ED, mental disorders, and they weren’t ‘certified’ to help me... while all that may be *true* - it was a bit of a stretch coming from a community that is far more neurotic about their diet, supplements, and exercise than I have ever been in my life time. I’ll tell you why.
I told them when I was a teenager I was deeply ashamed of my armpit fat- I had a BMI of 17 but was still too ashamed to wear tank tops or T shirts because of the bulges under my arms. This was more than a decade ago, and while I’m within the upper limit of a ‘healthy weight range’ I’m focusing on fat loss by adding two days of fasting and an EC stack to my routine... sometimes I get really discouraged knowing that even when I was at a very low body weight, I still had those fat pouches under my arms.
I wanted to know: What type of fat is this? Why can’t I get rid of it? Is it unusual? Not uncommon questions for someone considering doing a strict cut.
Instead of getting answers, I was called out, shamed, and blocked. Why do I automatically have an ED just because I want to lose weight???? Yes I’m concerned with my appearance, but who is more preoccupied with their appearances than bodybuilders? How is what I’m doing wrong but they’re perfectly fine? 😡😡😡😡 They were really mean.
I’m at the end of my rope, guys.
[Goal] Someone is jealous of ME?!?!?!
/u/beezythegiraffe
Created: Wed Oct 24 21:59:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6vzq/someone_is_jealous_of_me/
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OMG so apologies for this pointless post but I really have nobody else to tell this to and I'm super excited???? So my male coworker who im pretty close friends with told me today that a bunch of the women at work have been talking about how jealous they are of my weight and how they wish they could be this thin. Nobody has *ever* talked about being jealous of me before, so this feels like a huge huge victory, especially because I've been feeling especially shitty this month. I've been on a serious plateau and as bloated as a dead whale so *omg I'm not that fat?!?!?!* except all this makes me want to do is restrict twice as hard as before because it might just be working. I have 10 lbs to go, I think I can actually do it!
Sorry guys I just needed to share this somewhere!
(Stats cuz I'm on mobile 22/F/93lb/5 ft 2)
[Other] I literally have no way to weigh myself lol
/u/thyme1999
Created: Wed Oct 24 21:51:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6u5g/i_literally_have_no_way_to_weigh_myself_lol/
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I’m at college so I didn’t bring my scale (big mistake) and I’ve been super low restricting for about a month. I know there’s no way I’m gaining and my bones are way more prominent now but when I look in the mirror I can watch my body balloon and swell thanks to dysmorphia. I’ve been scouring target, Walgreens, etc for a scale to use but I don’t have enough money to buy one.
This is a dangerous game because I guess I’ll just restrict until I waste away because I won’t know when I hit my gw🤷🏼♀️
[Rant/Rave] My gf always insists she doesn’t care what I weigh
/u/softdyke
Created: Wed Oct 24 21:47:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6tac/my_gf_always_insists_she_doesnt_care_what_i_weigh/
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But I’ve been fasting for two days and she won’t stop touching me and saying how hot I am. Motivation!!!
[Help] Been craving more food but I can't figure out what type of food I need
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | 116 lbs | 19 | -20 lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 21:46:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6t1v/been_craving_more_food_but_i_cant_figure_out_what/
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After a few successful weeks of restriction, I'm finally starting to get ambient hunger throughout the day; it's not a tummy hunger or dehydration or need for electrolytes -- it's like a deep body hunger.
Normally when this sort of thing happens, I imagine different foods I could be eating and see which one makes me go "YEAH!!!" But this time, I can't imagine anything I would enjoy eating or NEED in order to correct some nutritional deficit. Instead, my body is just like... craving "food" with no direction.
Does this happen to anyone else, and have you ever fixed the issue? I do take pretty strong vitamins every day and try to keep my protein/electrolyte intakes in check.
Post to hype Halloween and also some serious thinspo via The King of Pop himself!
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | CW (Fat) | LW (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Wed Oct 24 21:20:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6mlb/post_to_hype_halloween_and_also_some_serious/
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https://youtu.be/sOnqjkJTMaA?t=283
Has anyone tried making their own energy drinks?
/u/pacific_rimmed [5’6” | CW: 137 | HW: 152 | GW: 119 | UGW: 105 | F ]
Created: Wed Oct 24 21:16:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6lkq/has_anyone_tried_making_their_own_energy_drinks/
---
Monster White is so expensive here in NZ (up to 4NZD a can) and the alternatives aren’t much cheaper. I saw a recipe on wikiHow but it includes half a cup of sugar and pear cider(?), so I was wondering if any of you folks had tried making a budget free low cal energy drink?
[Discussion] Experimenter or Consistent
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 96.8 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 70 🍑 smallest_madeline]
Created: Wed Oct 24 21:11:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6k9z/experimenter_or_consistent/
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I am constantly experimenting. I don’t even know what works for me because I’m always switching things up (workouts, diets, purging, etc). Then I get nostalgic for a previous low weight and I’m like what was I doing back then?!
Or are you the type that’s found what works for you weight loss/toning/whatever your goals are? And you just keep doing it?
I don’t know what ED I have but I suspect it’s bulimia because I’ll fast for a bit, then I’ll restrict, then I’ll over exercise then I’ll binge and purge. Like the only consistent thing is that I keep tying to lose weight lol
[Other] Met someone just like me
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:57:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6gny/met_someone_just_like_me/
---
So today I was talking to this girl and we talked about depression, cutting and eating disorders. We found out that we probably both have ednos because it fluctuates from binging to abusing laxatives to anorexia and so on... and it was nice to talk to someone about it. I felt less alone. I'm??? Happy???
We talked about why we developed our disorders and why we had depression and genuinely had a nice time. Of course we had our differences because we both did things for differwnt reasons but we didn't judge each other. And it made me happy. Someone understands my pain from my own perspective and I can actually talk to them face to face... I'm so confused. I never thought this would happen. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Really can't believe this happened. I hope we can recover someday. But for now, I just feel so less alone.
(I still love to talk to y'all tbh. You're all almost my best friends 😂 it just feels nice to talk face to face without being judged)
anyone had shrooms on an empty stomach?
/u/ella0124 [5'6 | s140 | c130 | g110 | f]
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:53:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6ft9/anyone_had_shrooms_on_an_empty_stomach/
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made plans with some friends but at that point i won’t have eaten in ~64 hours, and total 500 in the last 4 days. will it affect the trip? should i take a smaller dose or not take it at all?
[Discussion] Anyone else legitimately have massive bones?
/u/lightfeathers [5'5" |🍑 lightfeathers | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:48:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6efk/anyone_else_legitimately_have_massive_bones/
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Not in a fat logic kinda way but like legitimately big boned to the point where your wrist is like way thicker than a normal person's wrist. I always put my hand around my wrist and while it can definitely wrap around it, it's way too fucking thick and I have no fucking idea why it's like that and it makes me wanna die. Is my BMI even accurate? Is my TDEE? It makes me so anxious.
[Discussion] has anyone else lost weight from their fingers, even at a lower bmi?
/u/pistachiocreams [63"| 105.5 | -18 | F :pupper:]
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:43:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6d4w/has_anyone_else_lost_weight_from_their_fingers/
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i’ve been noticing recently that most of my rings haven’t gotten loose on me, which makes me assume that i lost weight in my fingers? which is odd, because i started at a bmi of 21 ish like 5 months ago now and am now bmi 18.5, so not overweight in the first place.
its like WHY do i lose fat in my FINGERS of all places when i still have ACTUAL STOMACH FAT lol.
[Rant/Rave] Argument with stubborn disappointed father, time to go binge and purge :^)
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:40:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r6cf6/argument_with_stubborn_disappointed_father_time/
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After a long day of work, and multiple things going wrong, the final tip of the berg was trying to have a light nice conversation with my pops just for him to find an unrelated but convenient path to put me down. When I called him out on it, it got worse...
Without going into much detail— he can be a real negative, passive-aggressive person to be around.
After puberty reared it’s head, I could feel the disappointment slowly but surely appearing.
Sorry I couldn’t remain that spunky child forever.
My family is fucking sad sometimes.
And I don’t really have any friends right now, not near at least. I wish the guy who’s probably playing me was really interested in me. I guarantee if I was at my goal weight, if I was thinner, people wouldn’t treat me so poorly. I KNOW some big girls who are taken seriously, but for someone with my personality and lack of confidence and face (lol) it would work wonders.
tl;dr I’m going to buy binge food right now and puuuuuurge it. Hey at least American Horror Story is tonight :)
Me @ me: fuck you
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|121lbs|-15lbs|25F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:27:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r68zg/me_me_fuck_you/
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I just binged around 3000 calories worth of cookies and Reeses cups and they're a total bitch to purge. I've been drinking apple cider (bc why not just add more calories while were at it lmao)during the entire binge because I was hoping it'd make it easier but all my vomit is still super thick and has a hard time coming back up. Why can't I crave easier food when I binge???!! Why do I even binge at all?!?! Ugh I hate myself!!! I'm such a disgusting fat loser!!!!!
[Discussion] DAE get excited for minor illness because it’s a convenient cover?
/u/hollasaur
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:26:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r68o1/dae_get_excited_for_minor_illness_because_its_a/
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I have the flu and am on my period right now which is absolutely miserable. The upside is I’ve lost 6 lbs since Monday because sick! And my boyfriend hasn’t questioned me only drinking coconut water and broth because of it. Small victories.
Chewing and Spitting. Bad or not ?
/u/macespacee
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:26:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r68l8/chewing_and_spitting_bad_or_not/
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Sure, chewing and spitting is disorderly behavior which is inheritable bad, but what’s worse? Eating all the high carb food that I spit in the trash? That will make me feel guilty for weeks. At least I’m not literally stretching my stomach 2ce it’s size by doing chew/spit binge rather than actual binge
[Rant/Rave] OH WOW IT SO EASY NOT TO EAT WHEN YOU’VE ALREADY FILLED UP ON EXISTENTIAL DREAD!!!!!
/u/burnerrrrrrrrrrr [6'2 | 135 | 16.4 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:26:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r68j4/oh_wow_it_so_easy_not_to_eat_when_youve_already/
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SRSLY GUYS PEOPLE ARE MAILING PIPE BOMBS, THE EARTH IS DYING, ARIANA GRANDE BROKE UP WITH PETE DAVIDSON, A WANNABE RAPIST IS IN THE SUPREME COURT, CHILDREN ARE IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS, MY HEAD IS SPINNING, I FEEL NAUSEOUS, BUT AT LEAST I WEIGH 129LBS BECAUSE I’VE REALIZED SOCIETY’S ILLS ARE TOO GREAT FOR A BURGER TO CURE.
TL;DR: has all the shitty news taken the enjoyment out of cheat food for anyone else?
[Thinspo] Post to hype Halloween and also some serious Thinspo via The King of Pop himself
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | CW (Fat) | LW (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:21:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r67fu/post_to_hype_halloween_and_also_some_serious/
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https://youtu.be/sOnqjkJTMaA?t=303
[Rant/Rave] Got a gym membership!!
/u/alienatkerba
Created: Wed Oct 24 20:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r63rh/got_a_gym_membership/
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I would really rather have an elliptical at my own house but whatever I will just find a way to turn it into some weird ed exhibitionism motivational thing
Ever have a thought that seems obvious, but is a game changer?
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:127|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r60fg/ever_have_a_thought_that_seems_obvious_but_is_a/
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Today I read a comment on here that pointed out that a day of fasting is about half a pound of fat loss.
I know that’s obvious but something just CLICKED when I read that, like wow these aren’t just long term goals they’re happening in real time
How do you stop from getting sick?
/u/schizodepressive2
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5zrn/how_do_you_stop_from_getting_sick/
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I think I've asked this in the chat, but I thought I'd try to reach a broader audience.
Background: Restricted/purged for 10 years with no problems, overeating for 13 years, now back to restricting/purging for the past 4 months
Here's what's going on: if I fast for more than 48 hours I start throwing up uncontrollably, get super dizzy, and can barely stand. I still do it because, well, I want to be skinny and throwing up a lot helps with that. It's just difficult to manage when I teach for a living (I've had to leave in the middle of a lesson to throw up). It wasn't like this when I restricted years ago. I don't know what's going on. Why can't I fast for more than 48 hours? Any tips?
​
P.S. I'm just to push past the sickness and go for at least 72 hours. Wish me luck!
Weird food dislikes?
/u/tiflis
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:41:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5wex/weird_food_dislikes/
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Anyone else have some food they dislike, despite it being apparently amazing...
Mine is cheese. Like, I’ve never understood the hype lol. It honestly made me kinda insecure back in the day. I wasn’t cool enough to salivate for brie or halloumi or whatever.
I’m plenty happy about it now though! Going vegan wasn’t too hard and it’s easy to avoid cheese-related calories.
Cake, on the other hand...
[Other] IMPORTANT PSA FOR B/Pers and Venom
/u/ciggiesandcabbage [5'1 | CW: 87 | 16.4 | -28 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:37:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5vgb/important_psa_for_bpers_and_venom/
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Hey I'm not sure if this has been posted yet, VERY TINY spoiler for the Venom (2018) movie, it won't ruin it and I just want everyone to be safe. There's a scene in the apartment pretty soon after >!Venom gets into Eddie!< where he eats a ton of food (some from the trash) and then pretty immediately throws it up. As soon as I saw it I was immediately hoping it wasn't sending any sufferers into a b/p cycle. I just wanted to let you all know in case anyone goes to see it and is surprised by that. Stay safe everyone
[Help] Alternative to deli meat for lunches?
/u/mrsblackattacks
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5vfs/alternative_to_deli_meat_for_lunches/
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I wasn't sure whether to post this here or in ED Food, but I wondered what people like to have for low sodium lunch options? I like doing wraps with deli meat because I can get a pretty precise calorie count out of it, but I just learned that lunchmeat is awful for you. Besides Progresso light soups and tuna, I feel lost and somewhat panicked about how to replace a big diet staple of mine. Does anyone have an opinion on lunch or snack ideas with protein, or that aren't terrible for you? I don't mind cooking or prepping.
I spent so much money on halo top that now i cant buy necessities
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:17:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5q23/i_spent_so_much_money_on_halo_top_that_now_i_cant/
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This is just gonna be a long, unorganized vent. I've been spending stupid amounts of money on halo top and havent even thought about checking my bank balance until my card was declined at the pet store when I was trying to buy something I needed that day. Not only did I need pet supplies, my gas light was on, and I dont get paid for 2 weeks. Not only have I been dumb with money, I'm dumb with everything else now too. I work retail and the lack of sleep, plus the horrors of retail, plus restricting is killing my brain. I went to a friends house yesterday and took the stupidest way to get there, about 5 different times on my way there i was like 'why tf am i going this way??' I was so lost, like idk what I was thinking. And then I stopped at a gas station to buy drinks and got cash back and later when I checked my bank account and couldn't understand why they charged me $15 for a couple drinks so I went back to the store and was like wtf and it took them almost 10 min to find out why I was charged so much (because I got cash back) and oh my god it was so embarassing and stupid. Brain fog used to be kinda nice cause it felt more like i was kinda detached from reality and was floaty and stuff but now I'm just an idiot :/ And now I don't have money for more halo top either, which is my anti-binge food so we'll see how that goes. I basically just hate my life right now lol but what else is new
[Discussion] Logging items under 5 calories? Do you guys do it?
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:17:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5pvw/logging_items_under_5_calories_do_you_guys_do_it/
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Y'all. I am getting SO. SICK. Of logging shit like mustard, splenda, etc. Now I realized that citric acid (found in things like water enhancer, diet soda, sugar free coffee syrups, etc etc) has calories too. Walmart's Great Value water enhancer brand lists it as 3 calories per serving, but EVERY OTHER water enhancer brand lists it as 0. So at least Walmart is honest about having calories.
But... even though I obsessively log stuff like splenda, mustard, gum, occasionally I will log spices, etc, I just... can't fucking bring myself to log hot sauce and surprisingly enough, I didn't give a fuck about the enhancer calories. I was like "3 per serving??? Damnit, I knew this stuff had calories. Oh well. Who cares?" And proceeded to sip on it and didn't even bother to log it on MFP.
If I add it all up, I've probably had like... at least 700 extra unlogged calories worth of this shit, fpr this past month ALONE. But despite that I just... don't care??? Why do I have double standards for water enhancers and hot sauce but not everything else thats under 5 per serving???
Like, I want to be continue to be anal about counting the calories in real food, but goddamn, I want to stop worrying about splenda/mustard/spices/gum calories once and for all.
[Discussion] does anyone else eat really weird food combinations?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | relapse| gw: 97 | 23f]
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:17:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5pvn/does_anyone_else_eat_really_weird_food/
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like, sure i'll throw cooked kale, uncooked canned corn, and a handful of salad mix in a bowl with some pasta sauce and a fuckton of spices and call it a meal! as long as it's low-cal, right?!
​
anyone else eat weird food combinations and not care at all because they're low-calorie?
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like they look super old?
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 19:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5nsr/dae_feel_like_they_look_super_old/
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I want to look thinner but I feel like every time I do I look so fucking old lol. Like I saw that post of people who were goals and my face just looks so hollow the thinner I get. My dark circles get crazy bad. I feel like instead of looking 24, I look 40 or older. Idk if this is just another part of body dysmorphia (nobody is telling me I look old & I’ve had people guess I was 18, not mid 20s) but it’s definitely irritating. Part of me asks myself why I want to reach my goal weight when I’ll look so old anyway.
I found this Chinese pop song about dieting in the depths of youtube and I unironically jam to it now
/u/bigcahunalife [5'5" | CW: :( | GW:112 | UGW:101]
Created: Wed Oct 24 18:33:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5e0j/i_found_this_chinese_pop_song_about_dieting_in/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3De50Nx1c5I
[Rant/Rave] ER visits are no fun!!
/u/impkidz [165cm ♡ CW: 114lbs ♡ GW: 90lbs ♡ BMI: 19.22 ♡ F(?)]
Created: Wed Oct 24 18:22:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5b24/er_visits_are_no_fun/
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Well everybody, I hit 105lbs today! I didn't have much time to celebrate however, because I weighed myself before work, where after clocking in I had a wave of nausea hit me and make me vomit, and I puked a toliet bowls worth of blood on the clock.
I got rushed to the ER, SAT through 5 different tests and went through 5 bags of saline through and IV and wasted my day at the hospital. Tests all came back negative, leading the doctor to assume severe psychological stress and lack of eating/hydrating (and no doubt obsessive purging) caused my own body to backfire on me.
I'm home now, and being forced to swallow meals through painful tears since I've been on only 500cal +chainsmoking restriction for 2 weeks and my body is fighting the idea of anything more. I'm nauseous, I'm tired, eating makes me sick, not eating keeps me sick. Ana has really kicked me while I'm down this time. Be safer and smarter than me, everyone.
[Discussion] My little haul
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 18:22:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r5azt/my_little_haul/
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So I was pretending all the problems in my relationship weren’t real and that also everything that happened to me from the age of 7 until now wasn’t real which was working great, and then suddenly it wasn’t.
I started eating again, and eating a lot and thought I was “recovered” in 3 days because I’m a dumbass who really thinks life works that way sometimes.
Now I can’t deal with the pain anymore so I went to CVS and picked up my prescription klonopin, plus Bronkaid, Jet Alert, and Aspirin.
I have to be smarter about this though...I honestly think consistently restricting a lot would be easier for me than fasting for the length of time I was attempting to. I just need to OMAD and make that one meal not too caloric which I haven’t been doing, it’s been super caloric. Needless to say I already gained back the weight and then some from my fast, but I’m ready to hop on the wagon again.
The biggest motivating factor for me in all of this is that causing myself physical pain (I also self harmed last night) increases my tolerance for *emotional* pain. And my tolerance is not that good, so I need all the help I can get! To me it was very telling that I “held it together” while restricting and fasting, but accidentally caused an argument because I spoke about how I was feeling when I didn’t. I can’t let that happen again.
Now my goal seems extremely simple and doable. I’ve had clear and obvious results from fasting and restricting. I know it isn’t sustainable long term, but maybe I’ll figure out a different way when I get to that point.
[Discussion] I can now only wear two shirts without triggering myself
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1.4 | CW: 184 | BMI: 24.3| HW: 370| M]
Created: Wed Oct 24 18:13:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r58rg/i_can_now_only_wear_two_shirts_without_triggering/
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I have been doing recovery... eating a lot and I've gained 4 lbs on the scale... I am bloated all the time and now I will only wear two really large and thick flannels... I just cannot wear anything else. I know that others do this too, but this feeling has just been overwhelming lately.
[Discussion] Does anyone else have 'goal outfits' to motivate them?
/u/GryffGryff
Created: Wed Oct 24 18:01:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r55c1/does_anyone_else_have_goal_outfits_to_motivate/
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I have a few really cute outfits I keep hanging up on my door so I can constantly be reminded about my progress. I can't wait to wear them ugh.
Tbh, it’s posts like these that keep me going
/u/throwaway86_443
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:50:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r52gg/tbh_its_posts_like_these_that_keep_me_going/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/9r2ul1/im_not_attracted_to_my_wifes_body_anymore/
looking on the bright side
/u/bexsun2
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:36:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4ymv/looking_on_the_bright_side/
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my goal today was to eat between 700-800 calories, giving me the exact right deficit to drop the last 0.2 pounds needed to hit my first goal weight.
Did I do that? Of course not.
Self-sabotaged and ended up eating a bunch of donut “balls” (weird but so good), lasagne and a bagel after doing really good the majority of the day :(
but I’m really trying to find the positives so I thought writing them out and posting them might help (and will at least distract me from going and devouring the rest of those gd donuts).
1. I probably didn’t even hit my TDEE so at worst, there will be some water/food weight but nothing permanent.
2. I’m on my period and feeling pretty gross so my body could probably use the extra cals.
3. this mini-binge just gave me more motivation to do better tomorrow!
4. I feel sick and only ate 1000-1300 cals, sooo my tolerance for food has definitely gone down considering I used to easily be able to eat double that amount.
5. I’m so full that I probably won’t be hungry when I wake up like I usually am.
and finally...
6. That food was SO good.
hope u all are having a good night and can find something positive about today! much love :’)
Can someone explain exactly how starvation mode works? And also, how can I avoid it?
/u/Dovahkiin14
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:34:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4xz1/can_someone_explain_exactly_how_starvation_mode/
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I really need help on this. The last thing I ate was around lunch and it was literally a bite of something, so it wouldn’t have even been 10cals. I don’t even know if I should count it at all. But I am. I only had that bite because my friend gave me something and told me I had to eat it. Now I’m fasting though.
I plan to fast as long as I can make it. Today is the perfect day because my mom is gonna be at work during supper, and I can stall long enough that my brother and dad will finish and leave, then I can throw everything out. Anyway, I saw something on Instagram about starvation mode, and I’m kinda curious. I’ve heard it makes it harder to lose weight when that happens.
I don’t want my progress slowed by this. I’ve heard of it before, but I’ve actually never really looked into it before until I saw the thing on instagram. That’s because I didn’t realize it could slow down my weight loss. I saw that to avoid it I shouldn’t fast for more than a whole day at a time. Does my weight affect how long it takes for this to set in? Because I’m overweight(I’m not just saying that, I’m literally diagnosed as clinically overweight by my doctor), so I wonder if that makes a difference. And how much slower does weight loss happen with this? A lot or a little? What are the other symptoms and suck from starvation mode? I think that’s all I want to know for now.
[Other] How long do you wait to purge? Also how quickly does food start to digest? 😭
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:33:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4xmz/how_long_do_you_wait_to_purge_also_how_quickly/
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Because as SOON as I sip some smoothie or go for pizza or whatever downfall binge food, I IMMEDIATELY start farting.
[Help] I'm in need of some advice as to why my weight is changing so drastically in such a short time
/u/bluebellsandjays
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:30:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4woq/im_in_need_of_some_advice_as_to_why_my_weight_is/
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i've been eating 800cals or less every day (except 1 day a week i eat 1000cals as a bit of a metabolism booster), for about three or four weeks now. the problem is, i had been losing weight and was down to 160lbs, but for some reason I'm not gaining weight? I weighed in today (i've only eaten about 300cals) and the scale says I'm at 165lbs. Does anyone know why this is happening?
Need help. Feel like I don't want to exist right now being at the weight I am.
/u/Emorito [5'3 |CW: 109 |-36 | 22F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:28:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4w7f/need_help_feel_like_i_dont_want_to_exist_right/
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Feeling really anxious about my weight and feeling like I don't want to exist in this form what should I do?? My mind is automatically going to "BINGE" but I'm not even hungry right now so I don't want to do that... usually save that for when I'm desperate to binge but I'm not hungry. I just want to lose weight and I'm freaking out and I don't want to be alive right now looking as I do. My weight is up from my flair, I have been too scared to weigh myself because I self-harmed the last time I did. :( what should I do??
[Discussion] Hello tis I again, you're neighborhood Fatalope
/u/Fatalope [Height 5'4 | CW 136 | GW 104 | HW 168 | 21 F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:24:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4v3p/hello_tis_i_again_youre_neighborhood_fatalope/
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Just dropping by to say hi! I was on a bit of a hiatus lately (definitely not due to non-stop binging...definitely not that) but I am back, thanks to some shitty news and due to that I am going back to my one way of coping - starvation! Wooooooo.....someonehelpmeplease
Anyways main reason of this post, give me some good vibes, funny shit that makes you laugh (ed or non-ed related) funny gifs, pictures anything please (I'm desperate I've gone through all of /r/aww)
Time to go!
/u/burrole
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:24:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4v2c/time_to_go/
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Hi everyone! (And bye everyone!)
So I've only made a few posts to this subreddit but I scroll through it a lot.
Ive decided it's really not good for me to be here, although i relate to a lot of your posts, reading them often makes me feel even worse about myself or feel as though i dont belong (I have a binge/restrict sort of thing) - that being said, i COMPLETELY get why some people choose to stay; it's a very welcoming community.
I really just want to eat normally and stop letting food control my life.
I hope you all start to love yourselves and get better, you truly deserve to feel good :)
Thankyou so much! Xx
I threw away a full black bin bag of cereal
/u/gayprincess96
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:18:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4tiw/i_threw_away_a_full_black_bin_bag_of_cereal/
---
I can’t stop thinking about being such a fat POS so I chucked away all my cereal and kept the freezer fries because fuck me up why can’t I just throw away all my food and never eat again why can’t I just fucking focus oh my god I hate myself I’ve never been this bad before, I need to purge everything and have a clean kitchen with no food and everything will be perfect
[Discussion] Is anyone else more concerned about face fat as opposed to body fat?
/u/fuckinhelpmehdhd
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:17:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4tb9/is_anyone_else_more_concerned_about_face_fat_as/
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I'm a skinny to skinny fat male (5'8" 137lbs) but my face is so fucking fat lol. I can literally see my ribcage but I look like I weigh 30 pounds more than I actually do because of my face. A couple years ago I weighed only 5-10lbs lighter but I swear it's made a huge difference in how my face looks. Sure, having a nice body would be great but it would be even better to lose face fat
[Help] i binged myself up to a healthy weight lmao
/u/strawberricream
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:15:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4smn/i_binged_myself_up_to_a_healthy_weight_lmao/
---
The lowest weight I've ever hit was 109.4lbs (I'm 5'5"), but my period didn't come and coupled with the fact that my parents made comments on how thin/unhealthy I was made me start binge eating.
I've been doing it on and off since the start of October and have gained a heck ton of water weight and about 5lbs of fat. 😥
I've gotten blood work done and will be going in for a pelvic ultrasound for my periods since I've got a history of irregular periods, but do any of you have any tips to stop bingeing eating? How do I move forward with this?
I'm just tired of thinking "today's a new day!!" only to sabotage myself minutes later. 🙃
[Help] Weird question, I'm sure
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Wed Oct 24 17:06:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4q3y/weird_question_im_sure/
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But when people lose a ton of weight, no one thinks twice about a boob lift or skin removal. What about bone reconstruction?
I have scoliosis. Spinal fusion was done like 17 years ago and I'm happy with it but when I get skinny the difference in my ribs is very horrible. From the front, my left side is more prominent because they removed part of a rib on the right side to grind up and put around my rods to help them "set". But when they did this, they didn't take the bottom rib, they took the second to last so that last fucker also sticks out in the back weird. Aside from taking a ballpeen hammer to my own ribs, has anyone heard of this type of cosmetic surgery before?
Doctors appointment.
/u/xStingx
Created: Wed Oct 24 16:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4nfk/doctors_appointment/
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Feeling shitty after leaving my docs appointment and they prescribed me medication. Gabapentin....which has a side effect of weight gain and it's either take the meds and fix the problem and possibly gain weight or not take the meds and keep the problem and not gain. kill me.
on a side note I just ate 8 dino nuggets at 240 calories for 4 and some processed fries. purged it all within 15 minutes and some of the dino vomit came back up shaped like a dino. Ah. bliss.
i let myself enjoy something!
/u/acrsita [Height 5'7| CW 47kg | BMI 16.5| Weight Lost ??| Gender ??]
Created: Wed Oct 24 16:56:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4n5s/i_let_myself_enjoy_something/
---
ok, so one major thing that my eating disorder has ruined for me is holidays. being away from home is a horrible thought that gives me super intense anxiety now, as i don't know what i'll be forced to eat and whether i'll be able to purge. it ruined my summer, i spent every day terrified about what i'd have to eat next. i had a complete breakdown in a supermarket, twice. i spent the evenings binging and purging instead of enjoying myself or leaving the house. it was absolutely awful.
but i went away last weekend, to london and to my cousin's house. i'd been very scared about it, and even though i love both of those places i just wanted to stay home. i went though, and something insane happened.
i let myself eat whatever i wanted. i don't understand how i was okay with it, but i decided to not spend my weekend purging all my food and walking around my bedroom at 3am to burn calories! i just ATE like a normal human being, and my god it was incredible. doughnuts, avocado salad, olive bread, matcha kitkats... I DIDN'T FEEL GUILTY! unfortunately because of my ED i have gastroparesis and eating so much actually made me pretty ill and it put me in a lot of pain for a few nights, but i DON'T regret letting myself live.
i gained a teeny bit too, but it was worth it. of course i'm now back to >200 cal a day, and i don't think i'm any closer to recovery, but i felt free from anorexia's chains for just a few days and it was amazing. i genuinely don't know how i turned off my ED brain like that, but i did. i did still worry about what i was eating, but those feelings were very very dulled compared to the usual which is me being scared of eating apples, and not painting with oil paints because it might get on my hands, soak through my skin, and make me fat.
sorry that this is kind of incoherent and rambly! it just made me super happy, and it gave me a bit of hope.
Nothing like seeing an ex
/u/caffecat
Created: Wed Oct 24 16:53:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4mh7/nothing_like_seeing_an_ex/
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The day after you binged lmaooo I'm all bloated and gross. I always fantasized about running into him after I lost all my weight and of course I do but on the day that I'm bloated. Thanks universe!
Oh well. Don't think he recognized me anyway
[Help] I used to restrict. Then, I ate normally. Now, I overeat. I still can't stop thinking about food. What do I do?!?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Wed Oct 24 16:45:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4k4h/i_used_to_restrict_then_i_ate_normally_now_i/
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Please help. I literally can't stop thinking about food. It controls everything and I am able to manage it... until my willpower goes away and I eat again. My family is now making fun of me of how often I eat. They're not wrong - I eat like twice every hour and I can't stop. I thought the food thoughts would go away if I "recovered" - and I did - but they never left. Please help.
[Help] please tell me how to make the binges stop, it isn’t about hunger at all anymore
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 16:12:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r4agj/please_tell_me_how_to_make_the_binges_stop_it/
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i’m so sorry i know i keep posting here but i hate myself so fucking much right now, i did well yesterday with a 200ish cal OMAD, ate a 200ish cal lunch today and was going to tap out with a 260 cal dinner when i fucking binged again. i’m 9 pounds up from thursday with a full stomach so i know it’s not all fat but fuck i want to die in my sleep so god damn bad tonight just to make this stop. i used to be able to fast and restrict so well but i feel like i’m breaking now. i swear to god i’m not even hungry when i do it, i just emotionally??? want more???? it’s so fucking stupid and self destructive and i can barely even purge anymore i just want to die
[Intro] 8 days binge free!!
/u/genmist
Created: Wed Oct 24 16:06:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r48uh/8_days_binge_free/
---
hi guys, ever since i found this sub (like 10 days ago) i’ve been extremely motivated to reach my goal weight, i’m not overweight, i’m 5’7 with 60kg and my goal is 53. i feel so safe and understood here because for once i’m not alone in my illness.
i’ve been restricting to 800-1200 max for the last 8 days and while it’s not as restrictive as i would’ve wanted, i’m a med student and anything less than that harms my studying because i can’t function. i’ve lost 2kg, not as much but it’s better than nothing i guess.
i just wanted to thank you all, really, because for me 8 days binge free is a miracle considering i used to binge every other day. i’ve had EDs ever since i was a kid (i’ve been fat and thin and fat and thin again) and never felt safe to share it with so much honesty before. i just hope i keep doing the work. <3
Favourite low-cal foods for sore throat?
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:58:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r46c5/favourite_lowcal_foods_for_sore_throat/
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My throat feels like it’s been grated, it’s so raw from purging + asthma.
I’m steering clear of chilli and carbonated drinks but any foods that’ll help soothe my throat?
So far I’m thinking
- miso soup
- teas
- SF hard candy to suck on (?)
- SF jello
- some kinda icecream (i’m CRAVING something cold)
[Other] Dream app because I’m a competitive binch
/u/delaneyjay
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:44:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r41xv/dream_app_because_im_a_competitive_binch/
---
If I had literally any programming knowledge I would’ve made this app like three years ago, but I would love to have a real time game type app where you could compete against other people with similar goals. Like fitbits step competition, except with this app you could chose a certain calorie range, steps, activity minutes, servings of veggies etc and it would match you with 10-20 people in a game
Players would get points for losing weight, eating in their calorie range, eating good food, multipliers for no b/ping, and lose points for binging/purging, eating a certain amount of junk food, or not getting enough sleep
This isn’t a call for any programmers to immediately jump on it, just thought it was a cool idea— if you’d like to use it go ahead but promise you’ll give me the app name :)
What do you guys think?
[Other] MFP
/u/lovleybones_
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:43:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r41o5/mfp/
---
I downloaded the thing that triggers me the most again today. My fitness pal. I just can’t do this recovery anymore. I hate all the weight I’ve put on. I went to the extreme. I was thin and then through recovery my mind switched from not eating to over eating. I don’t know a good and healthy balance. I’d rather just not eat. So that’s what I’m going to do.
I hate myself and I hate my reflection.
When I starve at least the hunger pain I feel evokes some happiness.
That’s better than nothing I guess.
[Rant/Rave] My friends pool party....
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:42:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r41b1/my_friends_pool_party/
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My friend is having a pool party Saturday, and I'm going to a football game with her on Friday. I havent talked to her in a whole year... I havent even LOOKED at her in 4 years... Like seriously, I dont even know what she looks like now. Ever since we took a trip together about 5 years ago to the beach she got angry at me for not taking a video for her so she yelled at me to "go to hell" and ever since then I havent looked at her. Now I'm going to her pool party... What if she is skinnier than me? Shes 14... I'm 13... She about to be 15... Ugh I hate this, I want to make amends but I'm scared... Fuckkk and since I dont have any bathingsuits shes giving some of hers so now I basically HAVE to go...😭
Tips to avoid the scale?
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:38:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r403y/tips_to_avoid_the_scale/
---
I'm trying not to weigh myself for a week, but I'm the type of person who weighs themselves 10x a day. Does anyone have any advice or tips to help them avoid the compulsion to weigh themselves? I was thinking of chugging my morning monster zero as soon as I wake up so that I can't get an accurate measurement to discourage me from weighing in.
[Discussion] What are you guys being for Halloween??
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:29:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3x4k/what_are_you_guys_being_for_halloween/
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I lack creativity and also just like seeing what other people are doing for this fun holiday that’s not totally centered around food (well candy ish)
Am I doing this all for nothing?
/u/rosepetalmemories
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:25:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3vyp/am_i_doing_this_all_for_nothing/
---
I'm 5'5 and 112 lbs. I'm hopping to get to 105 or better. Mostly it's my stomach. I had two kids and the fat just goes straight there. Has anyone ever heard of someone 5'5 and 105lbs and still having a fat stomach? I'm working out bit I'm not sure it's enough since you know...I have two kids and a full time job (single mom here). After my last son, my Ed got out of control and I got super thin. I don't remember having fat on my stomach then but it's been 6 years and I can't place money on that memory.
[Help] What to do about concerned family members
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | CW: 129lbs | BMI: 19.61 | WL: 26lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:24:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3vry/what_to_do_about_concerned_family_members/
---
My mum keeps asking me about my food. I’ve made a post about this before but it’s gotten worse. At this point she’s pretty much directly accusing me of having an eating disorder. Turns out she’s started tracking my calorie intake behind my back to prove that I’m under eating so that’s fun. She says that I have to put on weight and if I’m really as full as I say I am then she’s taking me to a doctor because it’s “not natural”. She said that I look horrible and I’m making myself ill. I don’t know what to do and ugh I’m just really upset I don’t even want to maintain never mind gain weight but I don’t want to have to see a doctor. She has this weird skewed view of weight too like she acts like a BMI 21 is a BMI 12, she always comments on people that look like they have a low end healthy BMI and says how horrible and sickly and scrawny they look, so yano that kinda makes matters worse.
Please encourage me to fast until tomorrow!
/u/softdyke
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:24:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3vr3/please_encourage_me_to_fast_until_tomorrow/
---
Managed to fast all day even though I’ve been with my gf and I’m just about to go home, please encourage me to not have anything when I get in!
[Rant/Rave] Read this post at my funeral (ft. Spoiled Milk)
/u/CompetitionEater
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:13:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3s4o/read_this_post_at_my_funeral_ft_spoiled_milk/
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The concept of intentionally eating rotton food, as well as self-sabotaging ones food comes up a lot on here, but what would any sub be without the same topic being brought up over and over?
Anyway, I'm mid binge and makinf pancakes with some sour milk (it's not mine, but my roomates. I would never buy milk for myself). I'm not even sure if I want to vomit from them or not, but I'm definatly eating them. I just had to share.
Be safe, you guys. 💕
Woman 'secretly fattened up bridesmaids before wedding'
/u/42rental
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:12:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3ryw/woman_secretly_fattened_up_bridesmaids_before/
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https://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=12147441
[Rant/Rave] Relapsed, don't know what I weigh, don't care.
/u/bitpattern
Created: Wed Oct 24 15:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3rc5/relapsed_dont_know_what_i_weigh_dont_care/
---
I'm scared to even weight myself, I talked to my dietician and she said I lost all the weight I put on during treatment (20lbs), but I don't even know what I weighed going in to treatment. I felt overweight, but as soon as she told me I was down to my pre-hospital weight I feel thinner all of a sudden and everyone keeps commenting on how noticeable my weight loss it - and now I can't stop. & now my ED is back and worse than before.
I know I'm objectively underweight (I don't have exact numbers, but if I had to guess probably around 95lbs) and I'm 5 foot 1. Losing weight at this point is difficult because I have to cut calories even more.
So, tips?
I've recently discovered the magic that is hot sauce.
This is giving me trust issues
/u/thatgentleman28101 [5’5 | CW 107 lbs | GW 85 lbs| ]
Created: Wed Oct 24 14:55:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3mmj/this_is_giving_me_trust_issues/
---
https://v.redd.it/4zp477hx47u11
[Discussion] Who else doesn’t eat much but when they do it’s not healthy stuff?
/u/Scarab-Beetle
Created: Wed Oct 24 14:49:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3kpi/who_else_doesnt_eat_much_but_when_they_do_its_not/
---
When I eat it’s either a panini or a bagel or a waffle with some syrup, sometimes some fruit and then dessert from the cafeteria and sometimes ramen.
It’s all absolute shitty stuff I probably shouldn’t be exclusively eating but I do anyway.
I feel like that’s why I’m not losing weight despite the fact most of the time I only get to a little bit over 1,000 calories. I’m either just bloated, focusing on my fat, or way too impatient.. it’s probably all three.
I guess I’m just wondering if I’m the only one that eats junk as well as trying to satisfy my need for weight loss. Times like these make me wish I was still able to barely eat anything like I could in the old days
[Rant/Rave] Ruined consistent weight loss with 3000+ cal binge
/u/lostandlonley333 [5"2 | CW:108 | 19.9 | -30.6| F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 14:48:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3kda/ruined_consistent_weight_loss_with_3000_cal_binge/
---
Feel like a fucking idiot right now, what even was the point of the binge, all it did was give me a tummy ache. I was looking and feeling so good about myself, only 1.5 kg from my goal weight, now I have to fast to even get back on track.
Sorry I just need to vent. This isn't even guilt, this is disgust.
[Help] To those who lost their period and got it back, how did you do it?
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:114lbs | GW: 112lbs | -25 lbs | F20]
Created: Wed Oct 24 14:43:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3ini/to_those_who_lost_their_period_and_got_it_back/
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I haven't menstruated in 14 months. I am getting increasingly concerned about both my current health, and my future reproductive health. I am a pre-med student, and believe me I have researched and come to learn a lot about secondary amenorrhea and the various reasons it can occur. I know my diet is restrictive, but honestly, it is not nearly restrictive enough (compared to the literature I have read) to have resulted in me missing my period for this long. I am schedule to see a gyno this month, and no I am not seeking a diagnosis here, but I want genuine advice as to how to how I could be successful in gaining back my period. What steps did some of you take? Did it involve eating more calories, or did increasing mineral and vitamin consumption help? I would love any feedback that you guys have for me. Thanks!
Wish me luck!
/u/DontTouchMyCrease
Created: Wed Oct 24 14:18:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3axp/wish_me_luck/
---
I always do amazing restricting until I get home from work when all my willpower seemingly vanished. Not today though!!! I’m prepared with my apple and my Diet Coke and I’m going to stick to my budget!!!
[Help] How do you deal with a binge when you can’t or don’t purge?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Wed Oct 24 14:09:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r37yi/how_do_you_deal_with_a_binge_when_you_cant_or/
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I big time binged on my lunch and am wobbling around at work with painful distended belly... help....
[Other] Hi I just tried Bronkaid for the first time and I can't stop dancing
/u/angerypeech
Created: Wed Oct 24 13:58:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r3454/hi_i_just_tried_bronkaid_for_the_first_time_and_i/
---
What a fucking drug. Send wholesome(ish) Bronkaid stories to make me smile :)
[Discussion] Fitbit group / General Fitbit Stuff
/u/liveinthemeoww
Created: Wed Oct 24 13:36:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2wua/fitbit_group_general_fitbit_stuff/
---
So I'm getting a Fitbit tomorrow! Inb4 I need to save money and also don't need more numbers to obsess over.
Is there a fitbit group for proED? Or failing that can I add some of your guys so I have frens? :3
I'm so excited to be getting one! Here's to tracking my heart rate and some semblance of work outs.
What's your favourite thing about the Fitbit?
I just bought size 12 pants at A&E 😭
/u/Internet_Ugly [5'7.75" | CW 165.6lbs | BMI 25| -74.4lbs | 26 F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 13:33:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2vv6/i_just_bought_size_12_pants_at_ae/
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But can fit into my old pair of size 6 pants from walmart again today that I couldn't even zip up over the last 18 months.
My size 10 and 8 pants are both baggy and tight depending on the brand. Why are clothes so inconsistent?! It's infuriating!
Tiny container of noodles 500 cal! Wtf noodles
/u/SourRoach420 [5'4" | 115 lb | 19.7 | 🥑 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 13:29:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2ufi/tiny_container_of_noodles_500_cal_wtf_noodles/
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https://i.redd.it/878oo5z4q6u11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Just purged for the first time (obvious TW)
/u/radcherrywinter
Created: Wed Oct 24 13:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2s61/just_purged_for_the_first_time_obvious_tw/
---
This is the first time I’ve tried to purge when something has actually come up. Barely anything did maybe like 20g of food but I wanted to carry on. I still want to no matter how much I hated it.
I hate myself. Please tell me it gets easier than this and I can just do it properly and get rid of most of what is inside my stomach.
ED Infertility?
/u/thestarvingaries
Created: Wed Oct 24 13:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2om4/ed_infertility/
---
I'm scared to lose my period, because I don't want to become unable to ever be a mother. How much time needs to pass after I lose my period for me to become unable to have a child? I don't know how to explain it but yeah...
Thoughts during binging?
/u/icthaine [🌾 5'8" | CW 146.5 | -20.5 | 23M]
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:51:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2iay/thoughts_during_binging/
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Or going over your calorie count, losing your willpower and eating another pint after the internal struggle, etc. Self hatred aside (hard mode, I know), what are you thinking while it’s happening? I know some people go into dissociative states while binging, and some consciously just fight their ED every step of the way until the full force of the regret hits. For me it used to be ‘I just want to be full and warm and safe’, and became ‘I deserve this momentary happiness’ once I began restricting harder. How bout y’all?
[Rant/Rave] This fat ass ain’t gonna be fat for much longer
/u/bulafilly_squad
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:40:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2eui/this_fat_ass_aint_gonna_be_fat_for_much_longer/
---
I’m just kind of excited because I was binging all of last week before I started my period and now it’s actually started I still can’t stoooppp binging 🙃 as I’m writing this I’m literally binging on minstrels and cake fml. I’ve just gone online and ordered meal replacement shakes and I literally can’t wait for them to come so then I can make my goal about 800 calories a day and just start losing some weight again!! And quicker then last time because before I was doing 1300 a day wooo
DAE get *really* protective over their food?
/u/sipapito [4'11" | cw: 111lbs | bmi: 22.6 | gw: 95lbs | 22f]
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2dcz/dae_get_really_protective_over_their_food/
---
I had half a can of 100cal progresso soup in the fridge at work that I was saving to eat before class tonight and someone THREW IT AWAY. I'm so mad. I'm seething. It's literally not that big of a deal and sure it probably looked like trash (a half can of soup covered in a paper towel) but IT WAS MY DINNER.
[Other] This is only tangentially related to my ed but
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | 🐋 | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:28:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2b2f/this_is_only_tangentially_related_to_my_ed_but/
---
My boyfriend basically just gave me an ultimatum of ~healing myself~ of my various mental illnesses (he mostly knows about my depression/anxiety, not my ed) or we will end up breaking up when our lease is over in April.
He says it’s because I treat him poorly, which is basically just because I don’t have any sex drive so he feels “neglected”
I have no idea how to help myself, idk if losing more will help or not, idk if this will trigger restriction or another binge cycle. Idk if I can fix myself. I was going to therapy for months and haven’t gone in about 3 weeks because of scheduling issues. Idk if my sex drive will ever come back.
I know he is worried about me and doesn’t want to leave but also doesn’t want to stay in a relationship where he doesn’t feel loved. I can’t blame him for this but also I feel very hopeless and just wanted some help or advice about how I can maybe help myself? Idk. Maybe this is just a rant, but all in all I’m not ok.
[Discussion] Anyone else worried about loose skin after weight loss?
/u/MadameFizzgig
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:28:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2b0e/anyone_else_worried_about_loose_skin_after_weight/
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I have quite a lot of weight to lose (and have already lost quite a bit), and I'm worried about loose skin. I've heard that loose skin is often minimal if you intermittent fast, drink a lot of water, and get down to a really low body fat because the skin will start to cannibalize itself? Not sure if I've got all the facts right. Obviously age plays a role too, but I'm in my mid 20's so hopefully that will help me out.
Does anybody else
/u/gr0p3d
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:19:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r280c/does_anybody_else/
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ever go to the grocery store and buy a shit ton of food only to be triggered by so much food in the house that they then don't eat a thing of it and let it all spoil? My wallet and conscious are seriously pissed at me.
Once again i cant tell where our sub begins and /r/1200isplenty ends
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:109 | bmi: 19.3 | F | 24]
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:13:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r265s/once_again_i_cant_tell_where_our_sub_begins_and/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/9qw81b/meal_prep_i_portioned_out_150ish_cal_servings_of/
[Rant/Rave] tfw the size up was more flattering
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.5 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:07:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r2419/tfw_the_size_up_was_more_flattering/
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I caved and bought some outdoor undershirts for warmth today right? Well the Medium looked slightly nicer because in the Small my chest looked weird and saggy. Just gross. And of course I looked at my back and how gross it just looked in it. So I bought the size small.If I tone up one of these days.... I think it is the only way to shame myself into keep up with my workouts. I just want to fit into their extra small. And maybe one day I'll look cute in work out and hiking cloths instead of a blob :)
[Help] I'm human garbage
/u/uiume [5'5" | 120.5 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 12:02:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r22gk/im_human_garbage/
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All I can think about is food and starving and calories and weight loss and fat and clothes I don't fit into..........at this point I am completely isolating myself and ruining potential relationships because I can't even begin to think of other people right now.
I am really alone and I know part of me wants to be loved and have a fulfilling life...but that really just seems impossible.
a Weird pro of having an ED
/u/macespacee
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:56:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r20ko/a_weird_pro_of_having_an_ed/
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I haven’t had my period in months . My body has decided I’m not eating enough for two. One less thing to worry about !
[Other] ed grocery haul solidarity
/u/piizza [5’4” | C127 | G110 | -17 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:52:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1z41/ed_grocery_haul_solidarity/
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I was pretty sure the checkout gal was judging me for my riced veggies, light ice cream, hot sauce, and low carb tortillas yesterday.
But then I noticed that the person behind me literally only bought a dozen light yogurts and two bottles of wine and I suddenly felt relieved and less alone
So if that was any of you yesterday, hi, we’re friends now lol
Visible period bloating?
/u/greycat91
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:49:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1y15/visible_period_bloating/
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There are tons of posts about period weight gain from bloating, but does anyone else notice visible bloating on their body during?
I don’t weigh myself ever and haven’t had recent weight gain, but my face is looking a little bloated and it’s making me freak out. Even my neck looks bloated! Like I’m definitely thinner than I was two weeks ago but my face was much bonier looking then. My stomach is ok, slightly bloated from the side but I ate a normal amount yesterday and haven’t shit. I’m trying to tell myself it’s because I’m on my period but Idk I feel like I need to fast In case I’ve somehow gained. But that’s playing with fire because I have so many period cravings rn
Please help calm my OCD brain omg
/u/quietpandaa [5'1" | 84.2 | 15.9 | -30 | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:44:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1wfv/please_help_calm_my_ocd_brain_omg/
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So I had to rush through my lunch today because I have a meeting with my boss across town. I was rushing to make my sandwich and my Laughing Cow wedge plopped onto my desk when I was about half done spreading it onto the bread. I scraped off the part that hadn’t touched the desk and put that on my bread because let’s be real when your 30 cal cheese wedge is 20% of your daily calories it matters. I’m pretty sure that none of the cheese that was on the desk made its way onto the sandwich or the knife.
But my OCD has been really bad lately and now I’m freaking out that somehow there were calories on the desk that transferred to the cheese which transferred to my sandwich. Currently sitting in an Uber about to cry because I’m so afraid that’s going to make me gain weight. I’d skip a meal tonight but I have exams that I really need to do well on coming up and I need the fuel to study.
I guess what I need reassurance on is that Laughing Cow cheese couldn’t have picked up enough calories to make me gain weight by coming into contact with my (very often used) desk in my dorm room. I know I’m ridiculous, but I’m really anxious and depressed and alone right now.
[Help] Getting a little worried about vitamin deficiency
/u/realthrowawayhrs
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:35:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1tkp/getting_a_little_worried_about_vitamin_deficiency/
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I know y’all aren’t exactly medical professionals but you might have experience, and also this might be a little tmi but bare with me. Since I came to college it’s been so easy to restrict, so I’ve been eating under 800 calories basically every day with some 24 hour fasts. I missed last month’s period but it’s happened before even when i wasn’t restricting so I wasn’t too worried, but even the second one was late and when it came it was completely brown and only last like 3 days, when it usually lasts a week. I also woke up extremely naseous today and have been feeling generally terrible (like shaky, exhausted, etc) but I can feel myself getting sick so that could be it too. Should I be concerned and what should I do? Is it even vitamin deficiency? I feel like if I go to my campus health clinic they’ll definitely just say I need to eat (and I mean they’re not wrong lol) but I just don’t need that right now, plus no one knows about my disordered eating, like I’ve never even been diagnosed. I definitely wouldn’t even consider going to a doctor if my period wasn’t fucked up. Anyways yeah please help I’m real worried
tl;dr period is real fucked up and it’s scaring me, i also feel very exhausted, shaky, unfocused, etc. whats wrong and do i need to go to a doctor or will it sort itself out?
Going clothes shopping is so stressful.
/u/ThrowawayTAIU
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1s8q/going_clothes_shopping_is_so_stressful/
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I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown and all because I decided to go buy some new jeans. But the mirrors and lightning are so bad in the damn fitting room it makes me look 20 lbs heavier. I left the store in tears and I swear to God I won't buy any new clothes until I'm skinny enough (aka never). It's just too mentally draining
ana buddy? ugh haha i know this sounds horrible and cliche but please read
/u/fruitsaladsthrowaway
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:28:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1r2i/ana_buddy_ugh_haha_i_know_this_sounds_horrible/
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so, i'm looking for someone to share my ed struggles/victories with. i keep,,, experiencinf things and i wanna share them with my friends but i cANT because it would expose me obviously,,
but yea i'm 14. i'm not picky so just PM me!
learning to love feeling hungry
/u/Serenescence [5'8 | CW 115~ | GW 100 | 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:26:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1qhb/learning_to_love_feeling_hungry/
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For the longest time I've always hated the feeling of hunger, so whenever I'd feel hungry I would eat purely to make the stomach pains go away. IDK what sparked it but recently, whenever I've felt hungry I haven't wanted to "ruin" it by eating, and now I wish I could feel hungry all the time (but not eat of course). When I feel the emptiness of my stomach I just 'feel' thin and lightweight.
Maybe it's the constant browsing here recently and looking at all the thinspo. But thanks you guys for helping me persevere and not give in to the hunger <3
[Rant/Rave] When your favorite thinspo is physically impossible
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:23:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1pnd/when_your_favorite_thinspo_is_physically/
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Guys. I'm literally 7" taller and 100lbs heavier than Yolandi. Today is a depressing day.
[Rant/Rave] Brain dump
/u/sagittorius
Created: Wed Oct 24 11:20:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1ont/brain_dump/
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I hate myself and wish I didn’t exist. I just want to stop existing. I have self destructed on a grand scale and I don’t know how to get out of this hole I’ve dug for myself.
Ugh. I just need to rant and process.
During my senior year of college, I dealt with some unsettling shit. First, my husband (who has ptsd) had a few outbursts that scared me. Once, because he was angry about not having clean socks, he punched a door that was inches away from my face - scared the shit out of me. If the door had been my face, I would have ended up in the hospital. I didn’t know how to cope. In my mind, our relationship/marriage was over. I didn’t know what to do. I threw myself into my studies and relationships with friends at school. I allowed myself to develop feelings for an attractive professor who was close to my husband’s age. I tried with all my persuasive might to work with that professor as a TA or RA. His research was interesting to me, after all. Also, I wanted his dick. But at the time, I told myself that was irrelevant.
The next month, my dad had a nervous breakdown because trump was elected president. I chose not to play into my dad’s overreaction because I had enough going on already (my parents are narcissistic and emotionally abusive and I was just about done before this happened). So my dad decided to disown me. Straight up unfriended me on FB because I didn’t return 2 phone calls and 1 text. It’s been 2 years since I spoke to my dad, and I have reached out to him twice.
So, fall of 2016, marriage troubles, daddy issues raging hardcore, and I’m projecting EVERYTHING onto this kind hearted and unsuspecting married professor.
Guys, I was obsessed with this guy. He was always so fucking nice to me. Nicer than he was to other students/my friends. And way fucking nicer to me than other professors were. Always helping me with random shit, allowing me to meet with him during appointment-only office hours, helping me with projects for other classes, responding to my emails at absurd times of day. Once, he invaded my personal space and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. My school BFF commented that he probably has a crush on me too, and I ate that shit up. At the very least, he didn’t shut me down. Maybe he liked the attention, idk. He even asked me to apply to work in his lab after I graduated. I ultimately wasn’t chosen, and felt rather crushed. Maybe that was his way of telling me to gtfo.
I think that, deep down, I just wanted approval from a male authority figure, and orgasms. Since my dad disowned me over something stupid, and I was afraid of my husband, I projected onto this guy.
I thought my crushing was only perceptible to my friends and the professor. Turns out, it was perceptible to everyone with sensory abilities.
After graduation, I asked my TA advisor (a female prof in the same department) to be a reference and she agreed. I thought I had a good relationship with her. I thought she would give me a good recommendation. Haha, I’m such a clueless cunt.
I interviewed for a job as an assistant in a finance firm and got all the way to the 3rd interview. I didn’t get the job because my interviewers didn’t think they could trust me. I didn’t mention my marriage or child in the interview, and they asked why. They asked about my negative self talk, and I said that I think things like “I’m not good enough and everyone hates me.” One guy replied with “Well, one of those things is true.” Now with 20/20 hindsight, I realize that my references sold me out. The negatives I displayed in their presence were too egregious to overlook.
Then, like a moron, I asked my advisor to be a reference for another interview. After I was hired, my supervisor immediately began to sexually harass me. Like, nasty shit. He ended up getting fired over it. I also just got fired last week because I sucked at my job. But why did he think it was ok to do that to me? Why would he hire a person who isn’t good for the position and then harass her, unless he thought he could get away with it?
Now I’ve created bad impressions in two places: school and my first job.
I know I was in the wrong at school, and I know that I was objectively bad at my job.
I work in real estate, so it’s not like my life is over. I can get a job at another firm, or start selling houses (which is somewhat difficult when you lack social skills, like me).
Instead, I’ve turned to my ED. Comforting old Ana, Mia, and ed. They’re killing me softly, but their whispers of “it’ll be ok once you hit your goal weight” are intoxicating, warm, soothing. “You’ll be a success in our eyes if you restrict today.” That, I can achieve.
I just want people to like me. When people don’t like me, I feel shitty. When I feel shitty, I act shitty, and then people like me even less.
As I get older, I’m learning that life is all about relationships. The most successful people are the best at relationships. But I’m almost fucking 30 and my relationships are strained, shallow, and tenuous at best.
I’ve lost several friends and acquaintances from school over (I assume) my obsession with this professor. I’ve lost my chances at graduate school in my field of study over my obsession with the professor. I don’t want to lose anything else. My marriage, my daughter, my life, to name a few things I want to keep.
My husband is a kind man, and his outburst two years ago was an anomaly. My mom is trying to rekindle her relationship with me. My dad still thinks I suck and am to blame for all of his problems, and my brother agrees with him.
What do I do? Fucking hell! I obsessed over him to avoid a relapse into my ed, and now I’m completely relapsed as punishment toward myself for having the obsession and fucking so many things up.
How do I make amends? How do I become normal? Why am I still so fucked up?
I fucking hate this lifetime. Suicide is not an option because then I’ll just have to go through all this shit again when I reincarnate.
FUUUUUUCK.
[Tip] 0 cal menu bc we ~fancy~
/u/karamilk8 [5'10" | CW132 | BMI 18.9 | -18 | F20]
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:56:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r1gi2/0_cal_menu_bc_we_fancy/
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what I eat in a day!!
breakfast: coffee
snack: water
lunch: tea
snack: water
dinner: sparkling water
dessert: diet ginger ale
Help me with my recipe
/u/thinraindrop [5.3/162cm | 51kg | 19.4| -24kg | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:36:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r19rh/help_me_with_my_recipe/
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So,
I'm vegan, and there is this stuff called aquafaba. It's the brine from a can of chickpeas, and can be used as egg whites. I made merengue with it pre relapse using regular sugar and they turned out amazing.
Now, I've been trying to make sugar fee(and almost calorie free basically) aquafaba merengue, but it just isn't working. Ive tried stevia and other sweeteners, they look allright but when I touch them when they're done it just crumbles. I've tried it so many times, it could be the perfect Ed snack.
Do any of you have any ideas on what I could try? A different sweetener to try maybe that would act like sugar?
X
Terrified I'm Ruined
/u/ghostflowers___
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:34:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r194i/terrified_im_ruined/
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Hi guys,
DAE worry once they lose weight, especially if you have lots to lose, that your body will be completely ruined by all your loose skin and stretch marks anyway?
Really bothering me rn tbh...I have over 100 lbs to lose and it's depressing...I feel like I've ruined my body and I'll never be beautiful.
[Rant/Rave] Going over goal amount with healthy food?
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:32:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r18oa/going_over_goal_amount_with_healthy_food/
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Alright, so my dinner was supposed to consist of three gherkins, nothing more.
But then I started stuffing mushrooms with capers, some low cal hummus and jalapeños and now I'm slightly above my max amount of 1,200kcal...
I feel so bad about this, especially because I binged on garbage yesterday and probably only got about 90% out with the purge that followed... (chocolate freaking sucks, my stomach never lets it all out; at the point when I start gagging and puking mostly air, I get this thin, chocolate-y slime out, so there's definitely some left in there... Happens *everytime* 😤)
I did go running today for half an hour so there's that at least... Do you guys feel like you've failed too if you go over on healthy stuff? Or do you think that's okay?
[Discussion] AN OBSESSION eating always less than my friends
/u/PocketsFullOfRockets
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:30:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r17vf/an_obsession_eating_always_less_than_my_friends/
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I’m such a competitive person and it has gotten SO BAD to the point that everytime i eat with someone, i eat MAX a quarter of the other person’s plate worth of food.
When ordering food I ALWAYS stand last on the line and make sure i eat the littlest. Sometimes in a group we decide we all get big hamburger meals together, i wait them to order and go sit away to a nerby table so i can peacefully order my salad without dressing & zero coke.
i know one of my friends has struggled with eating and i think she might have had an ED at one point tough she has gained a lot recently. if she ordered the big meal thinking i was going too i know she is going to feel shitty when she sees my order... and i really feel bad because i’m not intentionally trying to make her feel like shit :(
What “counts” as a binge? And other ponderings...
/u/redcapris
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:24:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r15z7/what_counts_as_a_binge_and_other_ponderings/
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So I’ve gone through many phases of my life where I restricted down to fairly low amounts of food. One of these phases lasted long enough and was intense enough and I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time and I felt very sick and my hair started falling out. Because my intake was so low then, I did binge occasionally, I would eat absolutely anything in front of me, I felt like I was starving, then I started binging more and more and also eating more “normally” and I’ve gained 20 pounds back.
I still overeat, but it’s different now. I plan it out better. I know longer eat half a loaf of plain bread or dig food out of the trash. I eat a lot of sweets and fast food. It’s not something I like that I do but I also don’t feel that animalistic loss of control I did when I was heavily restricting.
And that makes me feel terrible about myself. Like, my thought process now is basically “well, I HAD an eating disorder and that was bad and a real illness , but now I’m just a disgusting piece of shit that can’t control myself.” I don’t know, I had to vent somewhere and I wasn’t sure where to do it, and I thought some of you might understand or at least sympathize.
(Mobile flair as rant/rave)
Immediate headache after eating?
/u/15nicmiller
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r122o/immediate_headache_after_eating/
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Has anyone ever experienced a headache when they eat for the first time after a while? I’ve been having this for the last month and it’s making it really hard for me to want eat every day
[Help] Starbucks flavor additives-sugar content?
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 117.8 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:03:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0z3c/starbucks_flavor_additivessugar_content/
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So I’m trying to broaden my horizons with hot coffee. For years my go-to has been a tall vanilla bean Frappuccino with no whipped cream.
Well seeing as I’m trying to cut out sugar, I need to expand. I’ve been experimenting with dining hall coffee with a few packets of Sweet-n-low but decided to try Starbucks today.
I got a grande Pike Place roast, with about four packets of Splenda and a dash or two of that cinnamon stuff.
But here’s the thing- do those flavor additives in the salt shaker looking things (vanilla, mocha, cinnamon, etc) have sugar in them? Send help!!!
I just need some reassurance
/u/th3Y3ti [5' 3.5" | CW 119| UGW 103| F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 10:03:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0z1y/i_just_need_some_reassurance/
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Guys I fucked up. I was doing great, got down to the lowest weight I’ve been in my adult life, and so close to my gw. But two weeks ago i completely derailed. Binged basically every single day. And now I’m nearly ten pounds up. Which is so noticeable considering I’m kinda short. I’m so pissed at myself for undoing all my hard work and seeing the number on the scale now just makes me want to scream. I fasted yesterday and plan to fast again today but I’m just so discouraged. ESPECIALLY because I’m going out for Halloween this weekend and I know I’m just gonna feel disgusting and blobby instead of tiny and confident. I COULDVE BEEN AT MY GW BY NOW BUT I FUCKED IT ALL UP. The only silver lining is that I didn’t let myself lose complete control and got myself back on track before I got back up to my starting weight.
Ugh. I just need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok.
Binge "hangover"
/u/caffecat
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:53:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0vq4/binge_hangover/
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I've been feeling so ill all morning from my giant binge last night. Anyone have tips to overcome the nausea? I drank a fuck ton of water already so there's that.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling out of control
/u/grapedates
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:40:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0rfq/feeling_out_of_control/
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I weighed myself this morning.
I’m the past few weeks I haven’t been weighing in, haven’t been purposefully restricting, haven’t been exercising. I thought I was eating normally.
I am down to a low weight that I haven’t been at in 4 years. I’ve lost 20 pounds...
I’m at a loss. I feel ashamed that I have gotten here. But at the same time I feel like the ball is rolling now- and it makes me more motivated to keep losing more weight. I’ve been consistently, but slowly, losing weight over the past year. I don’t know if this is my body returning to it’s ‘normal’ weight or what... but I feel like my ED might be more in control than I’m letting myself know.
I don’t know what the purpose of this rant is, I just needed to get this out.
I crave being cold because I love the response it evokes from my Fiance
/u/Wigforfire [5'2 | 100.3 | 18.89 | 30lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:38:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0qq1/i_crave_being_cold_because_i_love_the_response_it/
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I hate being cold so much, I hate always feeling like I've just stepped out of a hot shower to stubble into the tiled tundra of a desolate bathroom. Goosebumps pinging friction against the fabric of my leggings through a second pair of pants, even with the heat in my car turned on high, is the bane of my existence. I hate every single facet of being cold until the moment my fiance comes home and sees my blue finger tips peaking from the ends of one of his hoodies, and he wraps himself around me like it's his sole purpose at that moment to be a human incubator for my shivering bones. It is at that moment that I love being cold because it means that when I go lay in bed he will cover my legs with a blanket, or he will ask me if I need the electric blanket on; If I'm about to go to bed and I'm just in my underwear he will pull the blankets up on me and he will make sure my body is close to his. Being cold is the worst feeling in the world but I would be lying if I said I wasn't addicted to the care and concern that I get because of it
[Help] Do you count late night binges as next days calories?
/u/caffecat
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:37:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0qpm/do_you_count_late_night_binges_as_next_days/
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I had a huge binge that lasted till probably 1 or 2 am last night. I was gonna start restricting today until I realized that technically I already ate today. Idk. How do you guys factor in something like that?
Joint and muscle aches?
/u/Light__Bright [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0qng/joint_and_muscle_aches/
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So I posted here awhile back about how my weight had gone way up. Since then I cut down my calories to a pretty low diet and I've been losing weight. I started out with 1200 a day, and now I tend to eat anywhere between 800-1100 a day (I'm really short and not super active.) I usually feel physically fine with this diet, but I have been having muscle and joint pain in my legs and sometimes arms. It feels like the body aches you get with a cold or the flu. I googled this and found out that "keto flu" is a thing when you cut down on carbs. However, it has been going on for about 2 weeks now whereas keto flu is supposed to be over in a week. Does anyone else experience this? I'm wondering if maybe it's just dehydration from eating less and I should double my fluid intake.
[Help] What's going on?? Plateau??
/u/HyperlyssED [5'6" | CW: 146 | HW: 215 | GW: 120 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0oat/whats_going_on_plateau/
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Hi everyone. I've been low restricting for about a week and a half (almost all days 300-500, with maybe 1 day over 600). My weight has stayed at EXACTLY 146 for a week now. I was loosing consistently leading up to this plateau. Am I waiting for a woosh? Should I eat more today? (absolutely happy to eat a bagel). Should I cut lower?
​
I'm exhausted and grumpy from the restrict and I'm not even getting the high from losing. This sux. Love you all <3
[Goal] yesterday i found this app called habitica and i'm using it to track my mental health goals and recovery goals. what do you think? i like it...
/u/kalianda [5'4" | CW 128 | GW loose size 27 jeans | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:23:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0lwx/yesterday_i_found_this_app_called_habitica_and_im/
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https://i.redd.it/e2466xpii5u11.jpg
[Discussion] Feeling so helpless
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:17:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0kcf/feeling_so_helpless/
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I feel like I’m trapped omg why can’t I stop binging. I need help so bad. I feel like an absolute monster. Why must I fill my stomach til I’m actually afraid it will burst. I feel fueled by a lot of things to lose weight but stupid binging keeps dragging me down to hell lmao.
[Rant/Rave] 🖕🖕 High waisted pants
/u/cattivity
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:03:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0gwx/high_waisted_pants/
---
Feeling my pants waistband dig into my stomach makes me want to grab a knife and cut all my fat off fr.
High waisted pants can fuck off forever.
[Help] Eating On Vacation: Hong Kong?
/u/LynCross [5' | CW: 123.2| BMI: 24.1 |GW: 110 |-12kg| UGW: BMI 16 (82)]
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:03:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0gru/eating_on_vacation_hong_kong/
---
I'm going to stay for 5 days at Hong Kong with my family. I'm considering purging but I feel bad for all the food that I'm only going to eat once because it's the first time I'm going to HK . Opportunities and money to travel are hard to come by, so I want to make the most of it, but I also don't want all my hard work to go to waste.
Can anybody recommend low cal foods there? I'm freaking out so much.
Chinese Buffet
/u/sydenyp
Created: Wed Oct 24 09:01:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0g2p/chinese_buffet/
---
Help! I must have dinner with my husband and his best friend at a Chinese buffet tonight. Can anyone share their go-to options if ever in this situation? I do OMAD and stay under 600 cal a day atm, so there is a little room to work it in. I am a volume ho and scared of binging while there.
Pleases & thank you s in advance to you god-sends on this thread.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend doesn't notice my 40lbs weight loss and my new-found confidence, rather he notices my boobs got smaller. 🙄🙃
/u/chillyilyily
Created: Wed Oct 24 08:47:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0buk/boyfriend_doesnt_notice_my_40lbs_weight_loss_and/
---
[Rant/Rave] Feel like my scales must be wrong :(
/u/ameliasophia [5'3 | 95.9 | 16.9 |-20lbs| F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 08:45:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0ban/feel_like_my_scales_must_be_wrong/
---
I just don't get it. I look in the mirror and I see somebody who is fat - healthy weight but still chubby. Yet according to my scales my BMI is 16.9
​
It's driving me crazy. I don't know whether I have broken scales or if this is just body dysmorphia or what. I just wish I could look in the mirror and know that what I'm seeing is the truth. Anyone else feel this way?
[Rant/Rave] I ate a slice of toast this morning and a sorority sister caught me throwing up in a compost bin
/u/ricemask [5'6" | HW:155 | UGW: 100 | 20F | 🍑: riceemask]
Created: Wed Oct 24 08:44:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0asp/i_ate_a_slice_of_toast_this_morning_and_a/
---
At least I didn’t throw up with my letters on like half that sorority does on a Friday night 🤷🏻♀️
[Discussion] I was hospitalized 3 times for an eating disorder and I only got worse. Anyone else?
/u/EatingMyArtOut
Created: Wed Oct 24 08:40:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r09r1/i_was_hospitalized_3_times_for_an_eating_disorder/
---
The first time I was put on a lockdown unit. They took my shoelaces and pencils. They told me I was the only ED patient and said they cannot open the unit for just me so they placed me on a unit that treated adults with multiple personality disorder because that unit was already staffed. The end experience was that this did not help, at all.
I am doing some writing about the experiences of hospitalization and am wondering about other people’s experiences.
I eventually went to a place that was holistic and specific for treating eating disorders but I struggled and ED got even worse when I left.
It’s hard enough to ask for help and then when you think you are finally going to get it, the treatment sucks and then when you get out, the eating disorder gets worse. I am not sure if I can ever say that inpatient treatment is a means for recovery.
What is your experience?
[Discussion] I was hospitalized 3 times for an eating disorder. What was your experience?
/u/EatingMyArtOut
Created: Wed Oct 24 08:38:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r0930/i_was_hospitalized_3_times_for_an_eating_disorder/
---
The first time I was put on a lockdown unit. They took my shoelaces and pencils. They told me I was the only ED patient and said they cannot open the unit for just me so they placed me on a unit that treated adults with multiple personality disorder because that unit was already staffed. The end experience was that this did not help, at all.
I am doing some writing about the experiences of hospitalization and am wondering about other people’s experiences.
I eventually went to a place that was holistic and specific for treating eating disorders but I struggled and ED got even worse when I left.
It’s hard enough to ask for help and then when you think you are finally going to get it, the treatment sucks and then when you get out, the eating disorder gets worse. I am not sure if I can ever say that inpatient treatment is a means for recovery.
What is your experience?
i had a horrifying idea for ed food while i was driving home
/u/iffasting
Created: Wed Oct 24 08:30:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r068v/i_had_a_horrifying_idea_for_ed_food_while_i_was/
---
those sugar-free zero calorie drink sweetener/flavorers, has anyone tried making popsicles out of them??? or popsicles out of zero calorie drinks?????
[Rant/Rave] Powerlessness (incoherent rambling)
/u/theredonesgofaster
Created: Wed Oct 24 08:18:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9r02oo/powerlessness_incoherent_rambling/
---
TW: sexual abuse
Do you ever get so angry that you blurt out stuff you didn't even know you were thinking?
A while ago I got into an argument with someone in my dorm and it got pretty heated. It was your standard stuff... *just eat*, *it's not healthy*, *you need to relax about food*, *the media has poisoned your brain*... And in the end they said:
"No man wants to f**** a skeleton."
I just answered: "Great, then maybe I won't get raped again." The argument was over.
I went back to my room and cried. Because I meant what I said and it felt awful to admit it. All this shit I've put myself through. The hunger, the pain, the self-loathing, the self-harm... Was that really just because of stuff some ex did five years ago? Was me controlling what I eat just a reaction to him making me feel powerless? Was the isolation that came with it just an attempt to keep this from ever happening again? Was he still controlling me after all this time?
I've been thinking about this for a while and no. It's not that easy. There is and has always been more to it. The relationship with my ex didn't cause my ED, just kick-started it. Even before I met this man I was depressed, vulnerable and hated myself. He used that and fueled it. If he wanted something I couldn't stop him from taking it. I was still depressed, vulnerable and hated myself but now I didn't even have control over my own body anymore. And that's when I started restricting. Because that was something only I could control. It was the only thing I had control over. In the beginning it was comforting in a way and made me feel better and even gave me the courage to leave. For a while it made me hate myself less. It helped me over the breakup.
But it didn't go away. And it's not even comforting anymore. It just won't go away. I don't want it anymore. And I want to *just eat* and I want to relax and I want to be healthy. I want to be happy and normal and self confident and lovable. But I can't. I fucking can't. And it makes me feel trapped and powerless again. And even a little betrayed. I just want to be free.
I’ve binged for a month and a half
/u/HistrionicSlut
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:58:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzwf6/ive_binged_for_a_month_and_a_half/
---
Between food and alcohol I’ve gained 15lbs. Kill me now. I was doing so well!!! Ugh why is this my life?
Is this progress??
/u/wannabegrapefruit [23F | 5'4" | 135 :'( ]
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:55:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzvha/is_this_progress/
---
I woke up craving a Starbucks pumpkin bread so, so bad. I just needed it. Thought about it all the way to work and stared at it in my mobile order screen.
I didn't get it, y'all. Just a coffee with sugar free vanilla and a splash of milk.
I think I'm getting back into being able to restrict thank goodness. Is this binge phase finally over?
[Rant/Rave] I Can't Stop Bingeing at Night - It Ends Today
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:48:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qztf9/i_cant_stop_bingeing_at_night_it_ends_today/
---
I can go all day just fine without eating. I EC stack in the morning and I get through it. I eat a small meal in the evening and am usually around 700-900 calories. So I tell myself, ok, you're done eating for the day. Right? But BAM, 10, 11, midnight comes around and I GO CRAZY. I binge on everything and end up feeling sick. The next day, I'm too scared to weigh myself.
This has been happening more lately. Like, multiple times a week. It's so fucking embarrassing. I go from 95lbs to 91lbs to 98lbs back down to 95. I'm so over this gaining and losing the same weight.
I am DONE bingeing. I don't know what I have to do to distract myself, but I'm gonna figure it out. I'm sick of this shit I do to myself.
Any suggestions guys? Thanks for listening 💜
DAE wonder if certain diet foods were created by people with eating disorders?
/u/kurtisskinny [5'5 | CW 140 | | SW 156 | F21]
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:41:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzrgm/dae_wonder_if_certain_diet_foods_were_created_by/
---
Honestly just curious to get some thoughts, it just crossed my mind as I was eating a simply protein bar...but could (probably) just be projecting my issues on the inventor of this food lol
[Rant/Rave] My aunt said I might gain weight back. It is triggering for me to hear that. Now, it fuels me even more to lose.
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:40:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzqzf/my_aunt_said_i_might_gain_weight_back_it_is/
---
Just another careless person who dont understand about ED and said it to me. Wish she didnt said this. But it is also good in a way which encourages me to lose more.
Weirdest fear food/binge trigger food?
/u/hammerprice [5'11" | obese | -28lb | 27F | vegan | 🍑 hammerprice (add me!)]
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:26:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzn5d/weirdest_fear_foodbinge_trigger_food/
---
I think we all have some pretty understandable fear foods or foods that will trigger binges. Like pasta or potatoes or fried foods. But what's your weirdest fear/trigger food?
For me it's... cucumber. Cucumber? The thing that's like 10cal a cup?? Yep, it triggers a binge... because I cut it into slices and use it as tiny shovels for hummus. And I can really POUND down some hummus. I've figured out that I can have just the hummus in the house, no problem, but those little juvenile pickles have to stay gone.
[Help] Guess I’m fasting today!
/u/softdyke
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:20:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzl6n/guess_im_fasting_today/
---
I fasted on Monday, ate what I had planned yesterday, then got really stoned in the evening and fucking binged!!!!!!! Why can’t I control myself please help me !
I'm sad that my desire to be underweight has disqualified me from participating in the subreddits that reflect my hobbies and knowledge.
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 110 | GW 104 | LW 107 | F26]
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:08:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzhp5/im_sad_that_my_desire_to_be_underweight_has/
---
It sucks that I cant really post in subreddits like fatlogic, xxfitness, or any of the diet subs because I've found support here, even though on a typical day i eat like a healthy/normal person...
I have a lot of knowledge, recipes, and help I'd love to give but I know that I either won't be taken seriously or seen as a bad influence or mentally ill if I ever post there again.
It's kind of sad. Just wanted to share. Anyone else relate?
[Other] So I just found out the anti anxiety med I’m taking may cause seizures in bulimics
/u/anxiety-and-theatre
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:05:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzgsv/so_i_just_found_out_the_anti_anxiety_med_im/
---
Send help
[Discussion] what’s the one thinspo you always go back to?
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:05:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzgqh/whats_the_one_thinspo_you_always_go_back_to/
---
sometimes when i’m really slipping up or feel anxious i just watch this one fucking video of lizzy from the kpop group orange caramel. [here it is.](https://youtu.be/-bXvL3rbgJk) it actually was kind of a scandal when it came out because she looks really ill but fuuuuuck it always keeps me going when i’m fasting or heavy restricting. fucked up, but someday i can look like that and it’ll be worth it? idk.
[Discussion] the fact in nyc u can get drugs delivered faster than food is what’s keeping me here tbh
/u/harperNovaStrom
Created: Wed Oct 24 07:01:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzfo3/the_fact_in_nyc_u_can_get_drugs_delivered_faster/
---
fam w traumatic childhood wyaAaa👌🤟
[Help] Family coming in from out of state
/u/cosmicjellyfish03 [5’4” | CW: 115.6 | GW: 105 | -13lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:59:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzf1c/family_coming_in_from_out_of_state/
---
My bf and I moved out of state (we live in the US) in August, and I haven’t seen any family since then. My dad and my stepmom are going to be flying in today and staying for 4 days and I know we’ll probably be eating out every day and I’ve been making such good progress and I’m so scared I’m gonna ruin it but I also don’t wanna let this stupid disorder ruin seeing my family again. I’m so excited but at the same time sick cause I have no idea what I’m going to do. Any tips you might have are extremely appreciated 😭
[Help] period question (again sorry)
/u/problemproblem420 [5'6'' | 114 | 18.4 | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:44:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qzb4s/period_question_again_sorry/
---
sooo my period has been gone for 2 months but i JUST got BARELY underweight. i occasionally get a random menstrual cramp and think im about to get my period but nothing happens. im nervous that there is something else wrong with me. also every online forum says im going to get cancer and die and i haven't slept in 40 hours so im freaking out a little
[Help] How can I get out of eating for 5 days?
/u/isaezraa [| 165 | cw 52 | gw 50 |16 f |]
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:32:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz7u5/how_can_i_get_out_of_eating_for_5_days/
---
i have state championships for waterpolo november 25-29 and im traveling/staying with a girl from my team and her family, im assuming there’ll be a lot home cooked meals and eating out at restaurants without nutritional information, how can i get out of eating without causing suspicion or being rude? im thinking something like IBS or something but idk im kinda fucked here
[Goal] Current and goal measurements?
/u/Ewimfat
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:24:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz5rc/current_and_goal_measurements/
---
I’m 5 foot 2, 120lbs and my current measurements are 40-26-37 and my thighs are 24 inches.
My goal measurements are 38-22-38 and my thighs to be 22, so probably around 100lbs? Idk, I just know I want my stomach smaller and my hips/butt to get bigger because of how gross my hip dips look.
[Tip] idky ‘tip’ is a flair if a rule is that ur not supposed to give ‘tips’?
/u/harperNovaStrom
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:23:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz5lk/idky_tip_is_a_flair_if_a_rule_is_that_ur_not/
---
but i kinda new to this sub
my tip is a shit tip that is not gnna end well for me but i tend to only eat at night and i find i can j eat xanax instead of food and it kills the insomnia binge cycle
tldr: im gnna die
[Rant/Rave] I’m not looking forward to Halloween
/u/Rickticia [5'2| 124.4 lbs |23.57|-25.6|GW3:120|21F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:15:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz3bw/im_not_looking_forward_to_halloween/
---
I love Halloween so much. It’s one of my favorite holidays. I especially love dressing up in elaborate, semi-DIY costumes (I can’t sew, so lots of superglue and making what I can).
I’ve been looking forward to this Halloween so much, but now that it’s approaching, I keep coming to the conclusion that I’m not going to do it. I hate how I look and I can’t lose the weight fast enough, and that makes me so sad that I’m potentially missing out on one of my favorite activities.
The kicker is that before I relapsed, I was Raven for Halloween, and even though I was 150lbs at the time, I felt so much less self conscious and really enjoyed dressing up. I just wish this stupid ED would stop sucking the enjoyment out of all the activities I love.
No Weigh November Challenge: Who Else is In?
/u/letgoor [5'6 | 130 |GW: 120ish| F |add me on peach if u wanna b friends:)]
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz2pj/no_weigh_november_challenge_who_else_is_in/
---
Hey guys! So after I made (this post)[https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qk6vt/found_out_my_biggest_binge_trigger_thinking_im/?st=JNN44IR8&sh=d0ef8cc5] about how weighing myself and seeing a low/ safe number makes me want to slip on my diet, a lot of you shared the same struggle.
I decided that after this week, I will do a “No Weigh November” where I will not weigh myself for the entire month.
This is for the purpose of not knowing the number and sticking with my goal to lose 10lbs and get down for 120.
It will be difficult but not impossible. I do love numbers and knowing where I am, but I think it will be good for me to not weigh.
Anyone is welcome to join the challenge, for my reason or for any other reason. we can start a Reddit chat as a support group! 💕
Let me know if you want to join the chat- we have a 8 more days to go until November, so we have time to mentally prepare!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:10:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz2ak/daily_food_diary_october_24_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 24, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday October 24, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz1zs/way_to_go_wednesday_october_24_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for October 24, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Rant/Rave] so my boyfriend called me thick
/u/turdddburger [5’3🌻cw145🌻gw98🌻f]
Created: Wed Oct 24 06:01:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qz01q/so_my_boyfriend_called_me_thick/
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i cant stop crying lol. i fucking hate “thick,” it disgusts me. thick is the absolute opposite of what i want to be. i was finally feeling slightly better about my body and now??! all my progress has just evaporated :(. i don’t want to be touched and i don’t want to feel the feeling of being in my body anymore. i’m just so upset. :(
y do the sake demons not tell me their calories??!???????!!!!!!!!
/u/harperNovaStrom
Created: Wed Oct 24 05:43:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qyvkw/y_do_the_sake_demons_not_tell_me_their_calories/
---
https://i.redd.it/pa3uqtkaf4u11.jpg
[Other] I had a dream makeup was 1,031 calories
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Wed Oct 24 05:41:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qyuyp/i_had_a_dream_makeup_was_1031_calories/
---
I freaked out when I woke up because I couldn’t tell if that was real or not. I’m still not wearing makeup today lol
any advice for weekly calorie consumption?
/u/mattbonie
Created: Wed Oct 24 05:38:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qyug6/any_advice_for_weekly_calorie_consumption/
---
im having around 5,000 per week but i feel like thats too much.
My boyfriend called me a "stupid fatty" ...
/u/Valentina465
Created: Wed Oct 24 05:30:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qysof/my_boyfriend_called_me_a_stupid_fatty/
---
So we had a really stupid fight yesterday and my bf called me a "stupid fatty". He than apologized and said I wasn't supposed to hear that, but I think that just kinda makes it worse.
It makes me feel really sad because I thought my bf is okay with the way I look (even if I don't understand) but obviously he's not.
And he also looks at my belly like everyday in a disgusted way.
I think he wants to motivate me to lose weight in a way, but it just makes me feel really shitty and disgusting and sad.
So I just had to write this down because I feel so shitty right now....
Go to low cal meals
/u/throwaway29485748839
Created: Wed Oct 24 05:08:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qyno1/go_to_low_cal_meals/
---
What’s yours?
I’m currently addicted to baked oats - oats, an egg, fat free yogurt. About 300 cal and keeps me going through a long gym session.
[Rant/Rave] Take me back a year
/u/existing--
Created: Wed Oct 24 04:11:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qybfa/take_me_back_a_year/
---
Just went back through photos from around 9months - a year ago and I was so much smaller. I looked so different. I swear I still felt fat then but compare to the WHALE I am now I wish I could go back. Fuck how did I let myself get this far gone
[Rant/Rave] this is such a rant idk
/u/j4ckson
Created: Wed Oct 24 04:05:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qya6k/this_is_such_a_rant_idk/
---
I never considered myself as having disordered eating (I hesitate to say eating disorder because I don't binge and purge etc.) until finding this subreddit but omg things make so much sense now. My mum is OBSESSED with weight, hers and everyone elses. She's constantly judging everyone who isn't like 15 pounds. When I was a baby she fed me half the recommended formula so I "wouldn't end up fat like Cousin". Before I started uni I was pretty underweight but that was mostly due to luck, I didn't really try too hard to maintain how thin I was, although looking back I didn't eat a lot and this is likely why. My mum was the same in terms of weight when she was my age but she clearly had an eating disorder. She told me that for 2 years she lived on nothing but 2 slices of toast a day and Pro Plus, as well as a few bacardi and sodas when she went out drinking - and she seemed sorta proud? I joked back that I should do the same because I've gained like 20 pounds since going to uni and becoming an alcoholic (go me) and she was like, well it worked for me so why not! It's like she doesn't even realise how fucked up that is to say to her daughter. I feel sorry for my sister who was never underweight and 6 stone at 17 super skinny like I was (she's not fat, just bigger than me) for having me as an unattainable standard - not that I am anymore lol - and my mum for openly condoning eating disorders, and honestly idk how either of us don't have more serious eating problems. It's hard enough for me to eat as is, and if I get into the habit of eating junk then I just order takeaways with my boyfriend every other night and hate myself more but I'm trying to change that now.
Like I love my mum and I know she did her best, but seeing other people talk about their parental influences on their eating habits makes me feel better and not alone even if I'm not the cookie cutter definition of an eating disorder
Oops this got long sorry
[Discussion] DAE buy higher calorie option to aid restriction?
/u/extraclevermongoose [5'7" 🐇 Underweight bmi 🐇 They/them]
Created: Wed Oct 24 03:40:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qy57x/dae_buy_higher_calorie_option_to_aid_restriction/
---
I’m a huge cashew milk (25 kcal) loyalist but am considering switching back to almond (30 kcal) simply because I go through cashew milk so much 😳 It isn’t contributing to me going over calories but that stuff gets expensive at the rate i’m needing to buy it and i’d like to have more room for ~actual food.~ I know from past experience I wouldn’t drink as much of the almond milk due to it being higher calorie. Anyone in the same boat? Also, is this a good idea?
[Help] Any 25-30 year olds feel completely lost career-wise? (warning: self-loathing rant!)
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 03:36:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qy4f9/any_2530_year_olds_feel_completely_lost/
---
My ED is at the forefront of my thoughts every second of every day. I used to have passions, hobbies, an interesting personality, and most of all, a drive to make a name for myself in the world. I have a f\*\*king masters degree that I don't use. I have 0 savings because I travel around without a plan, from casual job to casual job, never earning more than minimum wage or staying long enough to rise in the ranks. I'm turning 27 in 3 days and the weight of my bad decisions is really getting to me. I'm 27 and haven't achieved any of the goals I wanted to reach before turning 30. My eating disorder, my depression--all of it has stopped me in my tracks for years.
​
What are my dreams now? Reaching my goal weight? A number that will magically turn my life around? Somehow, when I'm skinny I'll be able to get back on track and live the live I deserve? Who am I kidding?! My goal weight, at my rate, is a year away. Another year wasted. Another year of planning my life about what I'm eating or if I'm eating. Of backing out of social plans because I feel fat, of measuring my happiness each day based on the number on the scale. My eating disorder is a secret, and yet it's all there is to me. My friends don't know that they're talking to an empty shell of a person. Would they even recognise who I was before all this? I sure don't. The past me would have hate me. I fucked up all her plans. I destroyed her fire.
​
Guys, I'm nearly 27. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling like a f\*\*k up.
​
Conversely, if any of you are my age and have managed to juggle successful careers (or life in general) while dealing with an eating disorder, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS?!
Hint Taken....
/u/morose_adipose [5'2 | 97ish | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 03:32:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qy3ma/hint_taken/
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http://imgur.com/Lq79Qlt
[Other] I think my mum is onto me :(
/u/peachiefaerie [5'2" | SW: 187lbs | UGW: 100lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 03:23:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qy1ul/i_think_my_mum_is_onto_me/
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I hadn't eaten all day and she noticed and kept telling me to have something to eat. I also found out that she used to have an ed too so she probably knows all the tricks ;-;
S Health suddenly calculates calories burned wrong??
/u/chrisqlli [162 cm|60 kg|Female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 03:04:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxybo/s_health_suddenly_calculates_calories_burned_wrong/
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Basically the title. Before yesterday it calculated believable calories burned. For example monday, 27028 steps and 845 kcal burned. But yesterday 20111 and 1143 kcal burned. How do I fix this?
Story of my life 😂 (source: etsy, see image)
/u/leoloewe19
Created: Wed Oct 24 03:03:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxy7a/story_of_my_life_source_etsy_see_image/
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https://i.redd.it/dg8o7xxrm3u11.jpg
[Discussion] Only productive when losing weight/not gaining?
/u/coffee-vanilla [F | 5’9 | CW:150 GW:130]
Created: Wed Oct 24 03:00:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxxnt/only_productive_when_losing_weightnot_gaining/
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So i have 2 extremes. Im either losing weight through heavy restricting (daily intake 500 calories max, im 5’9) and feel on top of the world. Then theres the other side which consists of feeling like a piece of shit, binge eating everyday, getting nothing done and completely isolating myself till i feel like i look ‘ok’ again.
Does anyone else go through cycles like this?
Inordinately Angry That Someone Used Half The Ice and Didn't Fill The Tray
/u/SkinnySmokehouse
Created: Wed Oct 24 01:08:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxhct/inordinately_angry_that_someone_used_half_the_ice/
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That was my dinner DAMMIT
The guy I’m talking to is coming back stateside in January
/u/TallHoe_InA_Tahoe
Created: Wed Oct 24 01:08:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxh8q/the_guy_im_talking_to_is_coming_back_stateside_in/
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We dated before when I was a younger, skinnier version of myself. Now I’m 17 lbs down from my HW and I have another 30 to lose before he sees me in January. Wish me luck y’all, I’m gonna need it
[Discussion] buying stuff at the store
/u/LRLeah
Created: Wed Oct 24 01:01:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxfxh/buying_stuff_at_the_store/
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my logic when shopping is so weird. sure ill get a diet coke to lose weight but ill also buy this huge box of cosmic brownies that i know for a fact ill binge on and regret.
how tf do i not do this
[Help] Same weight after binging?
/u/leoloewe19
Created: Wed Oct 24 00:57:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxf87/same_weight_after_binging/
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So I had a long restriction period (around 4 weeks), and am trying to high restrict atm, which does not work.
Yesterday I binged a pizza, fries, gummybears, chocolate, cookies, pinapple juice, milk and peanut butter.
I binged twice but purged only the first time. Today I already had a bm, then stepped on the scale and received the same number as yesterday? Usually i gain a loooot when it comes to binging after restriction. What is happening ?
Do you guys ever get breaks where you love yourselves?
/u/satancookie22 [5’4”| CW120lbs | LW103 | GW110lbs | 20.6 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 24 00:34:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qxb0d/do_you_guys_ever_get_breaks_where_you_love/
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I was in a a car accident today on the freeway that could have been so much worse. Like I’m ok, other guy is ok, we were both going at least 50 and here I am wine wasted tonight celebrating that I’m still alive.
Usually I’m drenched in self loathing and questioning and hating myself. Telling myself I’ll be happier when I can be 10 lbs less or 20.
But maybe it’s the wine or the gratitude of bein alive n fine but tonight I’m loving my bony knees big nose and long lanky arms. I’m into my thin af hair and this wack ass blister on my lip. I couldn’t care less if my boyfriend really loves me or if all my insecurities are true, I’m just happy I can be here to maybe live long enough to experience real fulfillment.
I just wish this high would last longer than tonight, ya know?
[Tip] Keto is helping me not binge - seriously
/u/ziyal79 [155cms | 74kg | 31 | 0 | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 24 00:27:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qx9ja/keto_is_helping_me_not_binge_seriously/
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I went keto about 3 weeks ago, which about enough time for my tastebuds to adjust. While I was at the supermarket getting some asparagus to go with the salmon I was cooking for dinner, I grabbed a 50g Cadbury Twirl bar, just because when I got home, I ate it while I was preparing dinner and I have to say it was DISGUSTING. It was way too sweet and though I ate it, I definitely didn’t want any more milk chocolate, and I was previous able to eat 2 x 200g blocks of Cadbury Dairy Milk in a single sitting, and more.
I’m not super strict about it. Although full fat milk in my latte can make me go over my carb macros, I try not to freak about it. I eat keto as much as I can. I should also note, that since spending 6 months doing intermittent fasting, I can’t cope with artificial sweeteners either, they make me feel ill or give me the runs. So, the only chocolate I eat now is an occasional square of Lindt 85% cocoa dark chocolate.
The bonus is I feel good and I eat really well. For example, today I ate a salmon, asparagus and capsicum frittata for lunch, and for dinner I’m going to have Korean fusion tacos that I got in a Hello Fresh box, omitting the tortillas and just eating the rest of it.
I do have a cheat day, but the worst thing I get up to on my cheat day is eating a bag of potato chips.
[Help] guys, i don’t want to play anymore...
/u/rainbowcatvomit
Created: Wed Oct 24 00:17:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qx7ld/guys_i_dont_want_to_play_anymore/
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this is seriously killing me. i can barely function some days, so i just go on auto pilot. and sometimes i just pass the fuck out. it does help me sleep but still.
i don’t even know what to do anymore. i NEED to stop, it’s getting out of hand again. i WANT to stop, i just don’t know how. i know nothing other than this... this disease.
not sure that i’m actually looking for help, just some people to chat. i can’t accept help, because part of me doesn’t want it.
[Rant/Rave] I'm now lower than the first ever goal weight I set!
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 5|116lb|GW: 110|19.86|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Wed Oct 24 00:06:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qx58p/im_now_lower_than_the_first_ever_goal_weight_i_set/
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I'm 114lbs!!!! Guys the last time I weighed this much I was 15! I'm so happy!
laying in bed crying
/u/acoffeecup
Created: Tue Oct 23 23:54:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qx2yn/laying_in_bed_crying/
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i just checked my weight and im 150lbs. i haven't been that in years. i used to be 130, then i stayed around 140ish and now im here. i feel so fat and disgusting and im so ashamed of myself. ever since i moved in with my boyfriend and his family for some time to save up for our own place, my mood has just shifted bc i have been eating more. there's literally food EVERYWHERE. i don't know how to control myself anymore. i don't know what it's like to feel hungry. it's disgusting. i hate myself so much for even being this heavy in so long. i don't want to eat anymore or go back to eating like how i normally would. i just don't know how to anymore and im scared. im such a mess i can't handle being like this anymore.
[Goal] I'm putting my foot down.
/u/hamaesa [5'5|cw 105|gw 97|lw 87|F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 23:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwzu9/im_putting_my_foot_down/
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That's enough. I'm done putting this off.
It's been six years since I was at my lowest weight. In those days, I was sick and miserable and had to drop out of school. I restricted, binged, self harmed, isolated myself. After I "recovered", I was so scared of going back to that dark place that I became obsessed with fitness and being muscular. I wanted to be strong, not frail and weak.
But the dysphoria began. I went back to a dark place. I started T, and my hatred for my female body pushed all thoughts of health to the back of my mind.
Years later, and I'm off T, back to being a girl. I had let my health and my body go during those years of hiding behind binders and loose male clothes. I'm so, so sick of hiding. I'm NOT hiding behind baggy t shirts and boys shorts anymore. I am a GIRL. I want to be PRETTY. I want to be SKINNY. I want nice hair and nice skin and a nice goddamn body. I don't care about staying away from the dark days of anorexia. I would choose that a thousand times over this hell I've put myself in now.
Starting right this minute, I will stop being a glutton who hides behind fat. I owe this to myself, I owe this to my body that I've abused all these years. I am losing weight. I am getting skinny again. And god damn it, I am going to look good. I never want to hate myself this much ever again.
How do I know if a scale is correct or not?
/u/Bomby57
Created: Tue Oct 23 23:30:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwy5g/how_do_i_know_if_a_scale_is_correct_or_not/
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I've been weighted a few times over the last weeks and all measures were different.
How do I know which one is accurate?
[Rant/Rave] I feel pathetic
/u/lilmdjd [5’3 | CW: 130 | BMI: 23 | LW: 94| - 17| 23F ]
Created: Tue Oct 23 23:24:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwwqy/i_feel_pathetic/
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I feel so pathetic. Like a pathetic, pathetic fraud. I literally have been stuck bouncing between 129-133 for like a month now, if not more. I lost the first 17 lbs like it was nothing, and now I’m so stagnant. And I KNOW it’s because I keep having moments where I freak out about relapsing and decide to eat maintenance (sometimes slightly over) and I keep bouncing in and out of keto which messes w your water weight. I get that. And technically there’s still a downward trend. But it’s sooo slow. I feel pathetic. I starve most days and wreck it in the span of 2. Why can’t I just restrict the way I want too? Why can’t I sustain it for longer than 5 days? I don’t WANNA high restrict . I always end up binging.
I know comparing is bad and it’s not a competition and yadda yadda but I feel like such a fake when I see other people restricting so low and fasting and doing hours of cardio and doing so consistently and here I am waking up in the middle of the night and eating 300 calories of pb2. I just wanna be thin already I fucking hate this.
Anyway I’m upping my cardio and trying to just eat as little as possible for as long as possible. This is my new tactic. No more calorie goals, just as little as possible. Whatever that means. Sometimes it’ll be 500 and sometimes it’ll be 1200. I’m DETERMINED to see solid 120s. I don’t even understand how I got to my lw. Where did that version of me go??? I want her back.
[Help] How do I not binge in college?
/u/eyjafjallafuckyall [17F | 156cm | HW 53,7kg | LW 38,7kg | CW 45,4kg]
Created: Tue Oct 23 23:18:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwvnx/how_do_i_not_binge_in_college/
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I’m living in a 6 person room and I want to be social but it seems like my roommates always have my trigger foods around whenever we’re hanging out and I don’t want to keep reverting to old habits :(( what should I do?
Fml
/u/buzzingb
Created: Tue Oct 23 22:57:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwr26/fml/
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I currently lay here in bed, next to my sleeping boyfriend. With three fucking McDoubles and a poutine, and get this - A DIET FUCKING COKE LOL. It feels so so so wrong but tastes so so so good.
[Discussion] DAE not eat all day and then eat a normal dinner?
/u/trinitymbrown
Created: Tue Oct 23 22:47:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwoth/dae_not_eat_all_day_and_then_eat_a_normal_dinner/
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Hello! I’ve been lurking for a while lol but anyways I was wondering if anyone else goes through their day without eating anything and then at dinner you just eat like normal? Like I don’t count the calories for my dinner, as long as I know it’s under 700, which is not that hard to stay under. I’ll usually have a sugar free redbull and a black coffee for breakfast, and then another sugar free redbull for lunch and then something normal for dinner. Sometimes it feels like I’m faking my ed even though I literally eat one meal a day if thag.
[Other] Note to self...Never binge again
/u/cattivity
Created: Tue Oct 23 22:22:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwj3f/note_to_selfnever_binge_again/
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I don't even understand why I wanted to binge so bad now.
All the food tasted like shit. I feel like shit.
Fuck. This is my 5th binge day. Of course i slipped up after I reached my goal weight. Fuck fuck fuck fuck I hate myself. I'm terrified I will never gain back control. I miss being hungry god damn it. I hate this.
I love my sister so much but how can I not feel inferior in comparison when she's practically perfect:/
/u/misshomo
Created: Tue Oct 23 21:51:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwbud/i_love_my_sister_so_much_but_how_can_i_not_feel/
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https://i.redd.it/v0ux0su132u11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I hate body dysmorphia
/u/smarieculp [5’7| 140.6|22.1 | HW: 145 | LW: 118 | GW: 110 | 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 21:48:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qwb5d/i_hate_body_dysmorphia/
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I’ve been restricting successfully and losing and I know that through the scales. I’ve already lost 5 pounds in about a week. I just feel fatter and fatter and I can’t stop body checking. Like why do I feel so fat? I’m just going insane and I want to cry and I just want to be back at my low weight.
I did a thing??
/u/TouchedDistortion
Created: Tue Oct 23 21:39:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qw8y7/i_did_a_thing/
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So I accidentally fasted today?? I was just so busy with appointments, and classes, and assignments that I barely even thought about food. I almost caved when there was free pizza in my faculties student lounge but decided to wait it out and by the time I was ready to cave there was no more pizza left and I just??? Forgot about it???
I used to not understand at ALL how people could just FORGET to eat, but here I am. Such a dumb thing to feel so accomplished about but that ain't stopping me.
Everything suucks...am I dying?
/u/alliwantisskinny [5'7 | 113 | 17.7 | -10 | female]
Created: Tue Oct 23 21:30:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qw6ty/everything_suucksam_i_dying/
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ok. so I literally feel like I'm dying. I constantly go back and forth with my eating disorder and I've been restricting really high for the past 2 weeks and I lost 6 pounds ayyyy. BUT like I said I feel like I'm dying? my chest hurts, my whole body aches and I have sharp pains in my tummy. overall my body feels like it's about to give up any second lol. it's not even funny but what the hell am I even doing to myself. I cant even stay a full shift at work anymore because I almost fainted.. I d ont Know godddddd.
having crushes + afraid of failure = perfect ed storm
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Tue Oct 23 21:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qw20t/having_crushes_afraid_of_failure_perfect_ed_storm/
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I’ve always been the type to crush on tons of guys... and none of them have ever really been THAT out of my league. Like I’m pretty sure if I asked out this guy rn he’d say yes. But I’m just afraid of that little chance he wouldn’t. And now my dumbass ED brain keeps saying “Ya know he might reject you at BMI 19 but he won’t at BMI 17...”
Why am I like this lmaoooo
[Rant/Rave] Sure is easy to have an ED when your parents don’t give a fuck...
/u/not-creative-enough- [5’6 | 16F | CW145lbs | 23.5 | HW150lbs ]
Created: Tue Oct 23 21:03:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvzgp/sure_is_easy_to_have_an_ed_when_your_parents_dont/
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Well, they do. But only when it concerns my grades or chores or babysitting. Ya know the things that benefit them. God at this point I can’t tell if I’m right or wrong. Either way I feel like they don’t care because I can go weeks without eating and they won’t even notice. Don’t do chores for 1 day and they freak out. They’re SO much more lenient with my younger siblings too and it’s fucking annoying. I like that I can at least control my eating.
All of this was brought up because my mom just switched to night shift again and asked me to babysit the demons I call my siblings for 3 hours after school and I started having a panic attack about everything going on. Like how I’m expected to do chores, have good(A- or better) grades, babysit, keep up with my own laundry and stuff and have practically no social life. Meanwhile, they can get away with swearing and doing literally fucking nothing and its okay. My mom tried blaming my “attitude” on my bf, that his is rubbing off on me ect ect. There is probably an attitude but for perfectly good reason which is that we’re forced to give up our time and babysit. My siblings throw temper tantrums, trash the house, swear and back talk to me and my bf. He was literally just trying to help keep them in line. I’m so fed up with being treated like trash by everyone around me. The second I can, I am moving anywhere from 6hrs to >20hrs away, plans have already been made.
I’m sorry this wasn’t entirely ED related, I really needed to get this off my chest. Thanks to the “talk” my mom had with me (essentially saying if I don’t do what I’m told I can’t do anything, like hang with my bf) I don’t feel like eating at all for the next couple of days.
Bulimia/binge calories question
/u/sommefeils [5'2 F | SW: 120lb | CW: 110lb | UGW: 100lb]
Created: Tue Oct 23 21:00:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvyn1/bulimiabinge_calories_question/
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Hey guys, is it true that some of the calories aren't fully absorbed when we (bulimics) binge because of the way it's pushed through our digestive system?
I'm fucking losing my mind here cuz my gag reflex is shot and my stomach isn't doing its job, so I haven't been purging everything no matter how much I flush. It's so frustrating!!!
A lil introduction
/u/its_scorpio_season [5'4"| 157 | 26.9 | 0 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:43:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvu0z/a_lil_introduction/
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A year ago I went from 170 to 145. I had gained weight due to medication but also medication helped me lose weight.
I'm now at 157.
I feel hot and happy (this has been a good year) but the desire to be smaller is nagging. I want to start posting here again for accountability.
My first goal is 150. I'm going to buy myself a bunch of Eileen Fisher when I reach it.
So, anyway--say hello skinny bitches. And please visualize me as v thin because I'd love that good juju.
[Help] Who else had a shitty Tuesday!!
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:37:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvsg0/who_else_had_a_shitty_tuesday/
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Ate a shit ton for dinner, was uncomfortably full... decided I should eat more after because I had already “messed up my day”
Now I’ve taken so many laxatives and feel physically I’ll and so so depressed
Why is this disorder the actual devil
Encouragement so I don’t feel so bad about myself? Anyone else have a shit day?
Oof I'm big sad and angory
/u/mars-rover216
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:23:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvosp/oof_im_big_sad_and_angory/
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Oof so before rugby practice this evening I had like 200 cal of peanut butter so I wouldn't pass out and die during sprints but that beautiful Arizona rain came and cancelled practice 🙃🙃 now I just have lots of peanut butter and no exercise 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
[Rant/Rave] 6th day of constipation
/u/hunnyangel
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:18:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvnay/6th_day_of_constipation/
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It has been 6 days since I have had a bowel movement. I’ve been eating a normal amount (kind of a lot) and I haven’t taken a dump this whole time.
My stomach is actually fuckinn gigantic.
It has probably grown like.. 5 inches I want to say? Just from being ^literally full of shit
I took a picture of my stomach and then I’m going to take another pic when after my laxatives kick in bc it’s just going to be so satisfying to finally flush everything out.
This is such an overshare but if anyone is okay w hearing about poop I figured it’s you guys.
Just got my tongue pierced with an unforeseen benefit
/u/Foureyedlemon [5"4 | CW: 119.4 |GW: 100 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:16:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvmw0/just_got_my_tongue_pierced_with_an_unforeseen/
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I don't want to eat! Shit hurts
How to ED while CoLeGe??
/u/lilyisca [5’8” | CW 107 | SW 120 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:12:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvlrk/how_to_ed_while_colege/
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How do y’all restrict and obsessively body check, plan meals, look at thinspo, etc. while actually doing well in classes??? Shit’s exhausting.
How to be restrictive?
/u/majorheadachebro
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:11:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvlk6/how_to_be_restrictive/
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Oh boy am I desperate to lose weight.... I feel like once I start eating I have to eat till I'm full which freaking sucks. I fast occasionally but don't see my weight changing... How do you guys restrict? Maybe I'm just not used to it?
Any relief for stomach cramps?
/u/ffj_ [5'5" | way too much | ridiculous | -10.8 | GNB | UGW: 77.2]
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:11:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvlcr/any_relief_for_stomach_cramps/
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Made a rule for myself not to eat after 6 and I'm not actually hungry but I have started getting really bad stomach cramps. Drinking water on a (kinda empty) stomach has made me sick in the past, any ideas? (besides eating)
[Help] Threw up during a fast. Why?
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 |CW 117 | GW 115 | GW 105-110 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:09:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvkxu/threw_up_during_a_fast_why/
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So I’m 2 1/2 days into my fast and suddenly I got extremely nauseous. I tried to ignore it but I was too strong so I hurried to the bathroom and threw up Brown and yellow colored vomit. I did it a few times and then felt much better. Is this normal. I really dont want to break my fast.
When you weigh less at night than you did in the morning 😍
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:08:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvkms/when_you_weigh_less_at_night_than_you_did_in_the/
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And you know you are going to have a great weigh in tomorrow!!!
Today, some girls in my class talked about skinny girls in our school and I felt terrible.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:07:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvked/today_some_girls_in_my_class_talked_about_skinny/
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In my Spanish class, all of us are divided into groups with four people and I happen to be with other three girls who are talkative. I was just trying to do my work and I hear one girl say, “Have you seen ____?” She’s so skinny yet has such a good butt and curves. I don’t get how she’s so skinny, I want to be like her. Oh, and have you seen ____? She’s skinny too!” It was a never ending conversation and I just wanted to fucking cry. I know the girl they were talking about and every time I see her, I hate myself even more. Their conversation fueled my ED even more than it was and I ended up restricting. Here I am @ 10 PM, hungry as hell and about to go to sleep. On the bright side, I lost a few pounds so I’m kind of happy.
[Rant/Rave] An injury has sent me to binge hell
/u/CastleInTheAttic
Created: Tue Oct 23 20:01:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvisx/an_injury_has_sent_me_to_binge_hell/
---
I was hit by a drunk driver and have a concussion.
I can’t watch tv, read, use my phone, or anything much while I’m healing so I’ve turned to my old friend: binging because I’m bored.
Additionally I’m out of groceries and can’t drive so I’m just ordering junk food.
And I’m not going to purge because the concussion has already made me nauseous and I need to keep my medicine down anyways. And because I’m trying to be sort of healthy and not b/p or over restrict while injured.
I’m not even trying to over restrict or anything. But I ate so much junk food since injured and I hate myself over it.....
[Rant/Rave] the intense pain when u consume nothing but carbonated diet drinks and then u burp out ur nose
/u/pacific_rimmed [5’6” | CW: 137 | HW: 152 | GW: 119 | UGW: 105 | F ]
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:54:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvgv8/the_intense_pain_when_u_consume_nothing_but/
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that is all.
[question] People who stopped a binging cycle?
/u/800goat [5'6"| CW::cake: | GW: 106| M]
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:52:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvg4i/question_people_who_stopped_a_binging_cycle/
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I didn't know how else to word this but:
Are there people out there who stopped being able to restrict after a long period of restricting, but then eventually were able to do it again? I went through about 4 months of easy restricting 400-1000 a day and lost 20 pounds. Then I binged and gained back 10. I've lost 5 again but I can't seem to get back to restricting like I used to.
What worked to get back to your usual patterns? I've tried eating at 1200, fasting, not counting calories, but I always end back up at square 1.
[Rant/Rave] motivation??
/u/paradisepeiir
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:50:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvfox/motivation/
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sounds super weird buuuut i wish i had someone at school talking shit or something about my body because i would be sooo much more motivatived and have more self control if someone didn’t believe in me lol
how to buy a food scale without looking suspicious?/is it worth it?/am I just paranoid
/u/sorrowfulspookyghost
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:47:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qveud/how_to_buy_a_food_scale_without_looking/
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what are excuses I should use/do you guys think that the potential risk im adding of my parents getting suspicious? my bmi is 20 and my parents don't full blown suspect an ed but my dad's asked me if I've been purging twice and my mom every now and then makes s comment on how I didn't eat enough. i was thinking of just asking my mom to order me one with measuring spoons and a nonstick pan
or am I just being completely paranoid and this isn't a red flag and I'm dumb lmao
[Rant/Rave] 2 days after The Big One.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 87.6lbs| 14.1 | Male]
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:35:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qvbj3/2_days_after_the_big_one/
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Aka, the massive portion of udon noodle stirfry with a shit ton of peanut butter, sesame oil, vegetable oil, soy sauce, egg + a full serving of seitain; \~1500kcal alone, putting me at \~1700kcal that day. I restricted to around 900 yesterday, and today will be just under 1100.
I weighed in a full 2 pounds more this afternoon than last week.
Logically, I know it's fluid, water retention, byproducts of my body breaking down a lot of heavy stuff. And I do want to gain weight. It's mostly... the principle of the thing, maybe? It makes me extremely uncomfortable to have eaten what I have, and... I don't know. I'm having a very hard time zooming out and not picking it apart and analyzing everything.
[Discussion] Anyone here on Concerta?
/u/ohwellolivia
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:26:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qv96z/anyone_here_on_concerta/
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I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and I’m starting Concerta tomorrow. Im excited to kick these focus issues in the ass, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was more excited for the appetite suppression that goes along with it. Anyone have experience with this? How long it took to start losing weight on ADHD medication?
Thanks!
[Help] After a binge cycle; how do you start fasting or restricting again? It’s hard to discipline myself currently.
/u/sunshineyyysoul
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:18:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qv71q/after_a_binge_cycle_how_do_you_start_fasting_or/
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What's the healthiest thing to get at Indian restaurants?
/u/thinsponeeded [5'6.5" | CW: 111| 17.6 | -20 | F | UGW: 104]
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:07:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qv3qo/whats_the_healthiest_thing_to_get_at_indian/
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SOoo I loved Indian food growing up -- my friends parents would always serve the best meals, and it became a comfort food for me. Unfortunately, I don't know how to cook Indian dishes myself and won't really have time to invest in it for another month or so. But, I really, really want to go to Indian restaurant! I just can't figure out what the low-cal options are, because most restaurants in our area don't have calories listed, since they're family-owned.
​
I'm vegetarian, so I love lentils, eggplants, etc., but I'm always scared that's the eggplants are secretly drowned in oil, but I can't tell because of the sauce. I like Baingan Bahaar, Dal Makhani, Bhindi masala (any variety of veggie Masala tbh)....just no paneer. What are my best options?
[Rant/Rave] Mfp sucks for this
/u/penelopewonton
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:05:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qv353/mfp_sucks_for_this/
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https://i.redd.it/xd3vvpld91u11.jpg
some diet subs make me feel so shitty about myself lol
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Tue Oct 23 19:05:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qv34m/some_diet_subs_make_me_feel_so_shitty_about/
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i see it all the time people being like "hOw cAn aNyBodY eAt 3 sLiCeS oF PiZzA tHatS sO mUcH" and like..... ive eaten that even on days im restricting lol. yes im a junk food ana but 900 calories is 900 calories ya know? and idk I just take it as a personal attack cause i eat that sometimes and it pisses me off when people who are overweight and on a diet sub act like 900 calories is this hUgE amount cause if 900 calories is just so crazy to you then you wouldn't be overweight. lol sorry im just cranky from fasting but i want to curl up in a ball and cry
[Other] snacking is the devil
/u/cole-ck
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:58:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qv18e/snacking_is_the_devil/
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snacking is always where i eat the most calories and i’m excited because i’m getting invisalign on thurs and hopefully that’ll stop my bored eating:))
have any of u guys had any experiences with it? has it helped u?
[Help] is it possible to gain muscle at 800-1000 cals a day?
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 140 | GW 125]
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:53:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9quzoh/is_it_possible_to_gain_muscle_at_8001000_cals_a/
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I've been resistant to any kind of strength training bcs it feels like a huge waste of time but I can't really ask fitness ppl about this without like, ya know
but I'm sooo squishy ughhh
I could try n replace some food with protein shakes but I also have to eat some home cooked food so yeah my protein intake is fairly limited
should i try toning up or keep waiting till gw?
[Discussion] [QUESTION] Clammy hands and fasting?
/u/waakeupmrwest
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:35:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9quuvz/question_clammy_hands_and_fasting/
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Anyone have a similar experience?
I've gained about 7 lbs over the summer.
I've finally been successfully restricting for about two weeks now and my hands have been so clammy these past few days??..
lol
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:34:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9quufk/lol/
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You know it’s bad when a 137g apple scares you. 😑
How much weight have you gained during a week-long binge?
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:24:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qurmd/how_much_weight_have_you_gained_during_a_weeklong/
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Okay so this probably pertains only to a small number of people... I can’t be the only person who has binged for an entire week. It’s so shameful, but it happened and I’ve moved on. I’ve had 4 days of normal eating and I just weighed myself tonight and, by my estimate, I gained 4 lbs of fat during that binge week :(
I’m so upset with myself. I was supposed to go on a date this weekend but I’m just going to say I’m sick. I’m so freaking ashamed.
This is a good reminder to myself though, that the next time I decide to go on a bender I’m going to destroy my progress.
I know now that I am an emotional eater, but what I’ve realized only recently is that eating will only make me sadder. So.much.sadder.
Anyway.... how many lbs of fat have you gained during a week of shitty eating?
[Rant/Rave] Damn you lazy ED
/u/mmblarg
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:23:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qurgl/damn_you_lazy_ed/
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Looked up vegan cauliflower, spinach, chickpea curry and was drooling over the pictures... but man curry takes some work and i was missing 4 ingredients...
So i steamed broccoli and cauliflower, put them in a bowl with a serving of chickpeas, and sprinkled with salt and curry powder... close enough hahah (but seriously not even close and i hate my lazy self haha)
[Help] I've been frequently getting triggered over preadolescent girls and don't know what to do
/u/Comosplox
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:22:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qurbv/ive_been_frequently_getting_triggered_over/
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I'm sorry if it gets quite difficult to understand but really I don't know how to deal with these feelings over and over and am just rambling, if it is not deleted I probably will delete this post.
I am 17F, exbf 18M. TL;DR at bottom.
I have always had the desire to be tiny as I was quite overweight most of my life. When not, at least felt like I was too fat. Being it already quite difficult to see skinny girls, worsening it, there was the fact that tiny, frail and cute girls were the only type my exbf felt attracted to. He said I was "different" to him, as when we started dating I had a BMI of roughly 27.
I would get easily triggered seeing small, dainty girls and go through quite a rough path, binging to cover the pain and restricting to punish myself for being a fat, bitter and jealous pig.
Then I learned that he had a HUGE fetish for cute, asian girls. I am not Asian. I find disgusting that someone would sexualize someone by their ethnicity, but he said that it was due to them generally having the frame that he liked and that was it. Ok, now I would get triggered seeing literally any asian girl.
With time, he stopped talking about other girls altogether, which made me feel a tad better. Well, guess who still got triggered all the time? Yeah, me. I never felt like I was enough. I would cry and eat because I would never be perfect, as I wasn't born asian. I would restrict for weeks, as I didn't see myself deserving of food.
Then he stopped showing affection to me. He would spend more time on his phone, wouldn't engage in as many conversations as before, wouldn't look at me or compliment me unless I asked for it. As expected, I worsened. Two weeks ago, I planned out a date, to try and make he be all over me again. It didn't go as expected.
Meeting him, he pointed some flaws in my appearance, then tried playing nice saying that my acne had become unoticiable. Ok, I get it. Then, the whole date he didn't pay much attention to me, nor show any sign of attraction or affection. After some time, we were on line to buy a milkshake, when a young girl (11~13y.o) passed by. We have a friend (18M) that likes younger girls, so he said "X would adore this girl". Mind you, she was skinny. I wouldn't shoot for a bmi of over 17 EVER. Clearly preadolescent.
As I am a snappy, petty person, I splurted "I bet you would love having her too", to which he replied "Well, I can't deny it", as he kept staring her. I just lost it. I started trembling and almost cried right there. I didn't say a word after it. I didn't drink my milkshake. I went to the place's bathroom and cried for some good 5 minutes. Getting out of there and after some time and a bit of arguing later, he basically said "She is pretty, was is the problem?? You are crazy to act like that just because of it. I said that as a compliment".
I couldn't stand this thought on my mind. Over some bad things he had done, there was this. Not even a proper apology I got, really. I just ended the two y.o relationship. I still, unfortunately, love him very much, so everyday is a struggle.
Well well, now, on top of the triggers from before, I just keep crying every time I see or read about a girl in this age range. A joke about said friend that likes them? I go to my bedroom and cry. I saw a girl within this age range on the street? Shit, gotta hide my face and look up so no tears will fall down. I just don't know what to do. I keep crying over and over, everyday. I was prescribed some depression medication a few years ago, I would hurt myself quite badly. I don't know if I can function fully normally anymore. A skinny girl? Bitch, I'm envious. An Asian girl? I am sad as fuck. Now, I can't bear to see a girl within that age range that I just want to die. I can't go back to that age. I can't die and be reborn as an asian girl. I can, however, starve myself and be pure bones. But will that be enough? I don't know. I just keep having meltdowns everyday and idk, I want to cut myself sooo badly. I will try to stick to restricting for now. Wish me luck.
TL;DR: ExBoyfriend (18M) would adore having a small, skinny, preadolescent girl. I still love him very much, so I keep having meltdowns everytime I see someone that fits that age group. FML, help me.
[Other] Nothing interesting.... Just panicking in my head...
/u/johanna0318
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:18:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qupzf/nothing_interesting_just_panicking_in_my_head/
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So I had a doctor's appointment 3 weeks ago. When I stepped on the scale, albeit fully clothed I had gain 12 pounds since the last time I weighed myself. TWELVE FREAKING POUNDS.... Now, I realize clothes were a factor. I was also just starting my period and I was completely in a gross disgusting binge stage. But JESUS H CHRIST, TWELVE POUNDSSSSSS.
So now I have a follow-up appointment and I've been restricting like crazy and drinking at least a gallon of water a day but I'm so nervous....and I'm afraid that if I haven't lost as much weight as I feel that I should it's going to completely push me over the edge....
Hemplivate Coffee- smart coffee
/u/punkybuns
Created: Tue Oct 23 18:15:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qupd9/hemplivate_coffee_smart_coffee/
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Anyone try this coffee yet? I M able to fast for 12 hours at a time. When I do feel the hunger pains I eat but my appetite is suppressed I never finish a meal. I can even skip dinner or snack lightly every single day. No cravings, only hunger pains once a day, and by 9 I'm crashing in bed. Anyone else using this stuff? It's supposed to make you "happy" if paired with the xanthomax pill but I tried that and decided to just stick to the coffee and my antidepressants instead. I feel so thin.
Does anybody else try to eat small amounts of really high calorie foods around your family/friends for plausible deniability if you ever get called out?
/u/throwaway282003
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:54:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qujho/does_anybody_else_try_to_eat_small_amounts_of/
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I try to eat a lot of peanut butter/kind bars around my mom because I’m comfortable with them (one tablespoon of PB is 95 calories and surprisingly filling lol) but also if she ever calls me out on my ED I can say “Mom I just ate peanut butter do you really think an anorexic girl would eat peanut butter lmao”
[Discussion] obsessed with the scale, switching to tape measure?
/u/nobodyfast
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:52:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9quix1/obsessed_with_the_scale_switching_to_tape_measure/
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I had to travel back to my hometown this week for a funeral and stayed overnight in a house without a scale. It took a 7 hour bus trip to get back home and the first thing I did was run to my room and weigh myself. I’m on an 8 day <450cal intake streak and it’s going really well but I worried being away from home and the strict control I have over my food would cause me to slip up. But it’s all okay because I lost 2lbs since my last weigh in!
Can’t say it didn’t freak me out a bit how panicked I was to know my numbers though, didn’t think I’d ever actually become that frantic and obsessed...think I’m gonna buy a tape measure instead, how often do you guys measure yourself and what areas should I be doing it around?
[Other] my song about my ED, "thick & thin"
/u/lilpolymath [5'10" | CW 112 | BMI 15.7 | 24F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:50:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9quiez/my_song_about_my_ed_thick_thin/
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yes. i'm going to be the person who shamelessly (maybe a little shamefully) promotes their music on reddit, but only because i actually think it might maybe be relatable and comforting for some of you to hear??
​
anyway here's the apple music link, it's also on spotify etc: ["thick & thin" by me](https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/thick-thin/1343386606?i=1343386615)
​
lmk what you think <3
Panicking because I don't feel hungry
/u/RaineeRose [5'3"| F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:48:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9quhte/panicking_because_i_dont_feel_hungry/
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I've been low restricting for more than a week, and today I let myself eat about 300 calories more, and I feel so full and fat. I don't ever feel good about myself unless I'm hungry. Can anyone relate? I'm so scared to get on the scale tomorrow, but I know I won't be able to stop myself. It's going to be a long night... :(
Anxiety has its benefits
/u/unithrowawayissues [5'6" | CW:132lbs | BMI:21.39 | Lost:56lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:45:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qugwn/anxiety_has_its_benefits/
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All of this nausea is making food extremely undesirable. Like even thinking about anything besides toast makes me gag. And I’m almost out of bread so calorie deficit here I come.
Even when I try to eat something it doesn’t stick so it’s not like I have much of a choice at the moment. The only downsides are constant dizziness and loss of vision whenever I stand for more than a few minutes 🤷♀️
I don’t see anything improving for a while so I guess it’s time to see if I can manage to hit my new-new-new goal weight.
I wonder how many calories sobbing uncontrollably burns 🤔
[Tip] Best article for calorie calculations yet!!!
/u/Creative__Username__ [64"| CW: disordered | GW: Satisfied | UGW: Happy]
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:37:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9quenw/best_article_for_calorie_calculations_yet/
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[https://www.rachaelattard.com/how-to-calculate-your-daily-calorie-intake/](https://www.rachaelattard.com/how-to-calculate-your-daily-calorie-intake/)
okay so I just found this article and she's legit and it's the best thing I've read. I love it too because she gives the *exact* formula for calculations, instead of leaving me to believe a random calculator. I'll just say it here:
447.593+(9.247x weight in kg)+(3.098x height in cm)-(4.33x age in years).
That's bmr right there. Then, to get TDEE, you multiply that by different values, depending on your activity level. If you're pretty sedentary, multiply your bmr by 1.2. If you work out 1-3 times a week, multiply bmr by 1.375. 3-5 times a week multiplies BMR by 1.55 (for moderate exercise), and there are a bunch of other values for the others, but I only work out 3x a week. So that's my TDEE, which I calculated to be 2108.25. For fat loss, cut 500 calories from you TDEE on the days that you're working out (which for me is 1608 per day), and by more on rest days. I cut mine to 1400 on rest days, since I don't want to eat below my BMR, just to be sustainable. Even so, that works out to a 7933 calorie deficit per week for me, which is equivalent to more than *two pounds of fat*. This is amazing!!! Best thing I've read and most helpful so far. Hope this helps someone else!
​
[Discussion] What are your go-to low calorie binge foods?
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:17:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qu93j/what_are_your_goto_low_calorie_binge_foods/
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Every so often, I get that little tickle in my brain that says “EAT ALL THE THINGS” even if I’m not actually hungry or craving something specific. I get this all the time, regardless of whether I’m actively restricting or now, but if I comply it absolutely undoes all my weight loss.
I usually drink a TON of water, maybe a Powerade Zero, and go for an entire bag of steamed broccoli and sriracha (~125 calories). I’m vegetarian, but if it’s really bad I also might try eating 40-80 calories of sugar-free jello instead. This way, I am actually physically full and get the “reward” of eating a lot while not actually going terribly over my allotted calories (if it happens earlier in the day, I can try to adjust the meal plan to not go over at all).
Do you have any foods like this that I should definitely pursue next time I begin going mad and wanting 14 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or something?
[Discussion] That very dizzy haze after purging
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:15:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qu894/that_very_dizzy_haze_after_purging/
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I lay here because I can’t even lift my head up not yet too light headed. But feeling ill triggers my anxiety so I keep moving my legs so i know I’m not dying.
I’m sucking on mints so just getting more calories after a b/p.
The thoughts I have after a purge are always so terrible and self deprecating. Why did I come home and have to eat so much? It’s like a daily habit I cannot escape. I come home and I HAVE to binge... I hate it....
Here’s my binge food: a six inch flatbread veggie sub with cheese and lots of lite mayo and vinaigrette. A glazed donut, ghost pepper Chex mix, 3 or 4 little kit kats. Also lots of grape juice mixed with water so I could get it out. I was home by 5:30 and ate it all by probably 6:10... didn’t purge til probably 7 whyyyyyyyyyy. Why do I let so many calories get absorbed I hate myselffffff. This is a real binge it wasn’t my OMAD these are all calories on top of my daily allowance. I hit a goal and I HAVE to always fuck it up.
[Rant/Rave] DAE get depressed while fasting
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 |CW 117 | GW 115 | GW 105-110 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:08:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qu696/dae_get_depressed_while_fasting/
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Idk if it’s the fasting or other mental illnesses I have, but when I fast for more than 1 day I get depressed and have no energy. Would taking vitamins prevent this?
Had my first semi-professional photo shoot now I want to die
/u/olegreatthrowaway
Created: Tue Oct 23 17:01:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qu49q/had_my_first_semiprofessional_photo_shoot_now_i/
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Did a favor for a friend of a friend and modeled for the first time and holy shit I want to die. It was fine till they let me look through the pictures and I seriously look like an actual WHALE it doesn’t help that it was baggy streetwear
I’m on my way home thinking about how I need to lose 40lbs/20kg in 4 months
Also hello this is my new home I use to be a kinda popular user on mpa circa 2015/2016 but I feel like I’m too old for it now lol
[Discussion] DAE get a "high" from purging (lax, in my case)?
/u/MiggMagg
Created: Tue Oct 23 16:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qu3kv/dae_get_a_high_from_purging_lax_in_my_case/
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I did it. I binged again, in a fit of anxiety. I was so pissed off to see that I gained 2 pounds of water weight seemingly overnight after fasting (likely due to my upcoming period).
I was so mad at myself that I downed some laxatives and now, (TMI, I'm sorry) I feel them taking effect in my stomach and I just got this "high" feeling, like, knowing that I'm about to be empty and small again makes me feel giddy. Even though honestly it'll just be water weight that I'll inevitably gain back.
I hate laxatives so much, but this temporary happiness they give me is hard to quit. Anyone ever experienced this before with laxatives? Any advice on how to deal with the upcoming pain would also be greatly appreciated.
<3
[Other] I already fucked my eating habits will I continue doing it?
/u/yikeroniandcheese
Created: Tue Oct 23 16:58:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qu3cp/i_already_fucked_my_eating_habits_will_i_continue/
---
Yes yes I will lime flavored lays here I come
[Rant/Rave] Average: a tale of people not thinking before they speak
/u/Mystalist [5' 6'' | 146lbs | 23.66 | NGW: 145 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 16:53:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qu1wo/average_a_tale_of_people_not_thinking_before_they/
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Now, I'm as anyone could probably see, I'm not the skinniest girl ever. I'm also (apparently) not the fattest. Just average.
Anywhom, I take lessons for an instrument. I'm just gonna say it's piano. I am very close with my teacher; I've told him about my self harm and poor relationship with food, and he's told me about his struggles with anixety and abusive father.
And one day, I told him about a rumor that someone was spreading that I was bulimic. His reaponse?
"That's not even accurate. Bullimics aren't fat."
Now, i know he had no bad intentions saying this, but i took it so, so bad. i went to the bathroom and cried for the 10 minutes that were left, and that was it. I don't know wether to be pissed or not.
He knows i struggle with food, and he said that. I go back to piano lessons today, and i just dont want to see him or anybody.
[Discussion] What is y'alls DREAM binge? (B/P TRIGGER WARNING)
/u/NutelllaBellla [5' 3.5"| CW: 133.5 | BMI: 23.4 | -40| F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 16:36:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qtwvm/what_is_yalls_dream_binge_bp_trigger_warning/
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Context: So it has been a good two months of me not binge eating and I have lost significant weight. I still have a long way to go! My goal weight is 110 lbs. I can't indulge in a binge until I reach my goal weight. I plan on getting to 105 lbs so that I can have a massive binge w/o worrying about going over my UGW of 110. This should, according to my current restriction/ deficit pattern and the losertown calculator play out by winter break.
​
My dream binge list:
Sweet:
* Nutella
* double stuf oreos
* reese's cups
* white chocolate Reese's cups
* Toll house cookie dough
* Canned frosting
* Ben & Jerry's peanut butter fudge core
Salty:
* Pizza rolls
* crunchy cheetos
* Kraft mac and cheese with extra cheese packets and loads of butter
Drinks:
* Straight distilled vodka to just get drunk.
Now I want to know: What is everyone else's dream binge? UGW here we come, woohoooooo!
[Rant/Rave] goddamngoddamnGODDAMN
/u/Annewellmorrel [18F|SW100kg|UGW50kg|5’6]
Created: Tue Oct 23 16:20:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qtr03/goddamngoddamngoddamn/
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[no judgement please]
so I met up with my childhood friend today, and everything was going really well. That is until I decided to confide in her about my ED and it just wouldn’t go. I tried but kind of stopped halfway through. Why do I always feel the need to explain myself to people? It’s not her fault, it’s mine. Ugh
And tomorrow we are having a sleepover and she kept on stating explicitly how “we’ll have pizza, and maybe make some pasta, and maybe burgers too...”. Goddamn! How the fuck am I meant to explain not eating any of these things when I’m there? Anybody have any advice on how to make up excuses for not eating those things tomorrow?
I can’t believe I actually fucking uttered the words “I... used to struggle with restrictive eating tendencies.” (*used to*? Who was I kidding?) Now it will almost certainly cause friction.
Regardless, I am pretty intent on not having any of those things tomorrow. On Monday, I *will* get back to eating at maintenance! And I will continue doing so for at least a fortnight! I am not a little girl who starves herself because she couldn’t say no like a grown ass adult one fucking time!
I am the one who lives!
I purged for the first time today
/u/rachelstormy
Created: Tue Oct 23 16:18:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qtqkb/i_purged_for_the_first_time_today/
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For a long time I’ve only ever binged and starved. I quit drugs about a year ago and went from being under 100 to 170 pounds. I have been on a starvation kick recently, restricting my calorie intake to about 300 or under a day. I’ve lost 12 pounds in two weeks, I was super proud and I’ve been doing super good until Sunday when my boyfriend and I went out to eat. Yesterday I had cookies. And today I ate one and a half bagels. I was so disgusted in myself I made myself purge for the first time ever. I don’t think even half of it came up but I feel a little better. Idk what the point of this post was I guess I just needed to get it out there. I am so disgusted with myself for eating like a fucking pig. I’m going to do a cleanse and eat some laxative on top of that and hopefully I can shed the two pounds I gained within the last three days.
[Rant/Rave] 48hr punishment fast lol
/u/BlurJAMD [5'4" | CW: 138lbs | GW: 110lbs | M]
Created: Tue Oct 23 16:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qtp4p/48hr_punishment_fast_lol/
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I've been doing a few 24 hour fasts this last week and went from 143 to 138, but I had pizza last night and broke my fast at 22 hours, and another takeaway earlier and broke my fast at 20 hours, so I guess I gotta double down and not eat for two days :^) cus that makes loads of sense :^) I love being fucked up :^)
My ultimate body inspo: Sherry Britton, 5’3. When she was 15, she was 5’1 and measured 38-18-33
/u/breathoftheevening
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:47:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qthru/my_ultimate_body_inspo_sherry_britton_53_when_she/
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https://i.redd.it/c7rfsjb2a0u11.jpg
[Discussion] To keto or not to keto
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qtfuk/to_keto_or_not_to_keto/
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I have been trying out keto since August and been quite happy with it (it got rid of my fear of fat, for one!), but it didnt really give me much of the effects I was looking for outside of weight loss. So, thinking of easing back into normal restricting, mainly because I miss stuff like fruit and veggies and coffee with milk and being able to spontaniously splurge without having to spend 5 days getting back into ketosis...
Anyone else who have had these thoughts and would like to share? Honestly it just feels like it would be so much easier to restrict off keto...
[Help] My friends think I’m anxious about this date because I like the guy...
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:40:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qtfoe/my_friends_think_im_anxious_about_this_date/
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... but really it’s because I’m scared shitless of the food I’m going to have to consume in front of him.
Especially because he told me last night he’s “concerned about my eating” and thinks I’m “going to collapse and end up in the hospital”
[Discussion] What’s your most counterintuitive ED “rule”?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:28:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qtbxk/whats_your_most_counterintuitive_ed_rule/
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For example, mine is that if someone offers me food, I have to take it and I have to eat it all. I *know* it’s not helping me lose weight but I also can’t help that compulsion even though I have a restrictive ED. Anyone else have strange rules?
[Help] my anorexia is turning into BED?
/u/romeodendron
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:13:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qt6z7/my_anorexia_is_turning_into_bed/
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I’m struggling to restrict ever since I had surgery. I’m since recovered and ate at maintenance during surgery so I think that’s what started it all.
Seriously. It’s bad. Yesterday I ate an entire pizza in less than a minute. A full size family pepperoni pizza. This is coming after weeks of eating 500 cal or less a day. I’ve gained 8 lbs in four days. I’m literally having a panic attack about this. Help!!!!!! I need to find a healthier medium or go back to restricting. Whatever fricking works.
Landlady snapped 'You should think about losing some weight!' at me literally 10 minutes after a binge
/u/LuckyPeaceful
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:08:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qt5cs/landlady_snapped_you_should_think_about_losing/
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Hahahahahahahahahahaha
It wasn't in response to the binging (that happens in shame, alone, in my room), she just wanted to insult me as we passed by each other in the hallway.
So far she's also called me an idiot child and left cat shit outside my door after I handed in my notice so I am doing just peachy.
Watch me eat literally fucking nothing but lettuce and hot sauce until I move out on Saturday 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄
I think I hit a new low rn
/u/Biiou
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:07:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qt58x/i_think_i_hit_a_new_low_rn/
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Lmao im c/s cereal at work in the break room. I honestly dgaf who sees, the damn cereal and breads they offer here is too tempting
[Intro] here we go again
/u/blackberryhoney [5'7.5" | 139.6 | 21.5 | 0 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 15:06:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qt4sk/here_we_go_again/
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I made a new account, but have introduced myself here before but mostly a lurker. I've had bulimia for the past 10 years, fell back into it pretty hard this time. :(
I thought I could stop on my own, but every time I get stress shit gets out of control. I've gained 20 pounds from my previous lw two years ago. I've b/pd the past five days in a row.
I forgot how strange it feels to be this impulsive again.
I guess I'll just sit here and drink diet polar and watch the food network because I love to torture myself.
I actually weirdly feel good about it.. because I want to be smaller and even more than before.. and I don't want to get better right now anymore. I just wanted to say this to people who understand, it's hard to want to get better sometimes and I feel guilty for not wanting recovery anymore.
​
It's finally starting to affect my health... Maybe.
/u/rickyoulittlemeatbal [💀5'4" | 125 lbs | -10 lbs | F 💀]
Created: Tue Oct 23 14:52:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qt0ev/its_finally_starting_to_affect_my_health_maybe/
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Hey guys. I've been commenting for a little over two years now, but have never actually made a post. I'm also friends with a billion of you on peach, but I'm too shy to ever talk to people 😬. Sorry in advance for this rant.
So recently I've developed this problem where it feels like I urgently need to pee 24/7. It's ridiculously uncomfortable and I haven't been sleeping because of it. I just got back from the doctor, where they told me I wasn't pregnant, and I don't have a UTI or any other bacterial infection.
After a shitton of googling, I've realized the most likely cause is caffeine, which is known to irritate bladders. I take an EC stack most days and it's literally the ONLY thing that keeps me from gaining weight. I've had disordered eating for four years now, and this month is the first time in my life I've actually successfully lost weight. Without the EC stack, I 100% know I will go back to [this.](https://pics.me.me/when-you-constantly-are-either-binging-or-starving-with-no-35445929.png)
It's just so unfair :(((( I thought it was finally my turn to be thin. I finally found something that works, and now I might not be able to use it. I have an appointment with a urologist tomorrow, so hopefully then I'll know for sure, but if the cause isn't caffeine... It's likely something more serious. That's not good either.
I just want to be thin 😭
/u/_idealixtic
Created: Tue Oct 23 14:47:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qsyr5/i_just_want_to_be_thin/
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On days I’m set to fast, I crave all the foods all day long and more times then not, I end up binging. But on the days I’m not set to fast, i want nothing. Or I end up eating just to purge. What the fuck. 😣
I’ve been dabbling with the idea of trying to recover again, but I honestly feel so shitty and worthless without mentioning the ED that I don’t think I could ever actually reach out.
[Help] Making plans and then eating and canceling them?
/u/mmmgood5
Created: Tue Oct 23 14:45:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qsy2n/making_plans_and_then_eating_and_canceling_them/
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So I just saw my friend while I was on my way home from buying food which already made me a ball of stress and then I said I would go to their house and see their new cat after I finished eating and then I scarfed down a whole burrito and now I feel like garbage and now I don’t want to go and I feel like an asshole but I don’t know how it say I can’t come over without saying I have an ED. Help! What do I say?
[Help] Can somebody help me figure out the calories in this!?
/u/bexsun2
Created: Tue Oct 23 14:18:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qspbv/can_somebody_help_me_figure_out_the_calories_in/
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I don’t know if this kind of post is allowed, or if anyone will be able to help, so I’ll delete it after but right now I could really use some help.
I live with my parents so therefor I can’t have a food scale which is pretty disappointing. That means that whenever I eat, if I’m not eating something that has a set, very clear serving size (like a piece of bread for example, where the bag clearly states exactly how many cals are in one piece) I basically have to guess how much I’m eating.
Anyway my dad decided to make vegetarian cannelloni tonight (kill me lol pasta is a huge fear food) and I’m having an incredibly hard time figuring out how many calories are in the noodles!! I can figure out an estimate for the sauce and cheese but the noodles really have me stumped.
So!! The brand is Catelli express, and the box says “300 calories for 85 grams” except that’s not helpful because I have no idea what 85 grams of cannelloni noodles look like. I tried looking it up on Lose It and it said 300 calories for 6 noodles but that just doesn’t sound right. The entire box is 200g, so I was trying to use that to help but I can’t exactly count how many total noodles there are in the box without my dad noticing lmao.
If anyone is willing to help me I would really, really appreciate it. This is causing me so much stress!!!
Recruiting Participants for Online Research Study at Harvard
/u/ResearchAtHarvard
Created: Tue Oct 23 14:12:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qsn9m/recruiting_participants_for_online_research_study/
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We are graduate students in the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences at Harvard University looking for people to take part in our study, the Health Attitudes and Behaviors Study. This study has been approved by the Human Research Protection Program Institutional Review Board (IRB) at Harvard University.
We are interested in recruiting adolescents ages 12 – 14 who use this website to participate in our research study. This study will be completed online over the course of six months and participation is completely voluntary. People who are interested in participating will have an opportunity to be entered into lotteries for up to $300 to Amazon.com.
A few important things to know about the study are:
1. All information collected will be kept completely confidential.
2. Participation is voluntary. The link we provide will send people to a website telling them about the study. Once on that site, they can decide whether or not they want to participate. Also, if anyone starts to participate and decides they no longer feel comfortable or they are no longer interested, they can end their participation without any penalty or punishment.
3. In addition to collecting information from participants, I will also provide links to treatment and informational resources throughout the study.
4. This study will include only participants who are between 12 – 14 years old.
5. We will also provide links to treatment and informational resources throughout the study.
To see if you qualify for the study, please fill out this short screening questionnaire:
[https://harvard.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_3Eou6MQdVCR8FF3](https://harvard.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3Eou6MQdVCR8FF3)
If you qualify, you will be told more about the study and you can decide whether or not you want to participate. If you don’t qualify, you may be told about a different study that you can participate in instead.
If you are not interested in participating but you know someone who might be, please feel free to forward this information and the link to the study.
Thanks for your consideration!
[Rant/Rave] I just broke 87!
/u/ciggiesandcabbage [5'1 | CW: 87 | 16.4 | -28 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 14:10:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qsmq1/i_just_broke_87/
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I just hit 87lbs which is my lowest weight ever (in an adult body). I'm so happy I could cry...
I think I had my first "whoosh"???
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:127|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Tue Oct 23 13:53:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qsgyt/i_think_i_had_my_first_whoosh/
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I was 125.5 (naked, on empty stomach), been restricting lately. Then yesterday I had a 3400 cal binge day ( :( ). I drank a bunch of water before I went to bed, used the restroom when I woke up, and the scale this morning said 124.2!
​
I was expecting to have gained! Someone explain?
[Rant/Rave] Low cal spiral rant
/u/soybeansaus [5'5" | S:158+ | C:afraid | G:96 | F | 🍑soyben]
Created: Tue Oct 23 13:34:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qsatg/low_cal_spiral_rant/
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It begins with a perfectly good, "well-portioned" OMAD - let's say avocado toast with smoked salmon. Then the swaps start to creep in. Why 100 cal slices of toasty carby bread when you can get stale-ass pantry-aged rice crackers for 20cal. Why fresh and filling guac when you can get rubbery non fat cream cheese for half the calories. Why would you ever pick oily smoked salmon when a sprinkling of crumbly dry tuna is also a thing that exists. I mean you don't actually need the rice cracker do you just use a fucking plate ya lard sack seriously the tuna is just seasoning at this point if you really want excitement and sodium just do a line of old bay ALAKSJFLKSDJLKSJFDLSFK
​
​
then I end up chugging water cause how could 50 cals of shitty non food possibly be worth pushing back my GW by aN ENTIRE HOUR??? I need a cigarette
I'm not attractive enough.
/u/smol_trashpanda [64" | BMI 29.8 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 13:30:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qs9rt/im_not_attractive_enough/
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So I've had an on and off friends-morethanfriends-friends relationship for about two years with this guy. We're best friends and I would totally give him the world. But he's never wanted to date me, date me; we . And I finally asked why today, and asked for no bullshit, no excuses.
"I'm not physically attracted to you in that way."
It's not like I didn't already know it. But apparently I'm good enough to be his best friend, good enough to fuck, but not good enough to be seen out in public as an actual couple. Just a placeholder until someone hotter comes along.
But that's ok, this is just more motivation. I wonder how many pounds I'll have to lose to be physically attractive? And guess what, best friend? You can watch it happen.
Worried I may be spiraling...
/u/lilac38
Created: Tue Oct 23 13:22:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qs738/worried_i_may_be_spiraling/
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I need some help. As I type this, I’m on the treadmill trying to burn off as many calories as I can before bed. I’m worried I may be headed towards some very obsessive/disordered eating habits. I’ve struggled with body image since I was 10 and have gone through phases of restriction and occasionally have made myself throw up after eating a large amount. In the last year, this binge/purge behavior has become more frequent and in the last few months, I have started restricting again and started exploiting exercise. I’m scared these behaviors might turn into something worse and I don’t really know what to do.
Any advice?
Elated and then confused
/u/sologirl8
Created: Tue Oct 23 13:03:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qs0p1/elated_and_then_confused/
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So, I went to the doctor today and the scale shows that I'm 132 lbs. But when I weigh myself at home it says 128 lbs. I'm just kind of sad and confused because I have loss so much weight, and I'm happier now on prozac, but I'm just really confused. I guess maybe it is because of how much I'm wearing at the doctor's office versus at home but I just feel kind of disappointed.
[Discussion] Restricting & Isolating
/u/uiume [5'5" | 120.5 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 12:56:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qryd0/restricting_isolating/
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I feel like I can't really restrict or fast and make genuine progress without cutting all emotional ties. I'm fine with talking to professors, acquaintances, people that I have no genuine connection to, but the prospect of interacting with friends or potential romantic interests is so stressful and makes me resent everyone I know.
I'm supposed to go on a date in a few days with someone attractive and very kind, we get along well and just a few days ago I was imagining us as a couple in the future and I welcomed the idea enthusiastically. But now...it's like I've switched to a total mode of apathy. I don't want to be in a relationship, I don't want intimacy, I don't want people to get to know me.
Since I started my fast on Sunday night, I haven't really cared for the idea of romance or trivial friendships. I feel like I've let go of my life for the past two years and have made no progress academically or otherwise. But now I'm researching colleges to transfer to, career options, volunteer work, study abroad opportunities, and getting back into writing and reading. I did my laundry for the first time in a month, I'm doing my skincare routine, staying hydrating, and for the most part maintaining a content state of mind aside from stress.
I know this sounds ridiculous, becoming a different person in the span of two days. And I know eventually I'll go back to wanting to fall in love and keeping in touch with friends. But for now, I feel like I HAVE to be alone to actually get somewhere in my life. I need to follow through with my plans and achieve my goals without going back on my promises to myself. I feel like it's for the best. Anything else would be a waste of my time.
Isolation is a common result of eating disorders I believe, so I was hoping some people wouldn't mind sharing their experiences, especially if they're similar to my current situation.
Guess my cat gets to try anorexia for today
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 172 | 28.20 | -78 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 12:36:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qrsau/guess_my_cat_gets_to_try_anorexia_for_today/
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https://i.redd.it/tom4y6ztbzt11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Got denied to donate blood today
/u/emptycolours [5'10 | cw114 | gw110 | M26]
Created: Tue Oct 23 12:36:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qrs9i/got_denied_to_donate_blood_today/
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Just annoying. Low iron. Lady was really nice told me I could come back tomorrow and try again. Said to make sure I eat some high iron food. Lol. No more like I'm gonna take half the bottle of iron supplements. 🙃 She said 12 was really low so idk if one day is gonna change anything and I don't wanna go tomorrow and get denied again 😟
I only (selfishly) went because I had been overeating all week and when I saw the sign for it was like, oh I have been eating more so I could donate blood was my idea from the start oh yeah...lol
Blegh. How much iron is safe to take?
[Rant/Rave] Food at School
/u/Adrenalize_me [5’6” | HW 226 | CW 209.4 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 12:29:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qrq0v/food_at_school/
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There's some type of tour thing happening for high school kids at my university today, and the entire common area of the building all of my classes are in smells like popcorn. Shoot me please? I am doing OMAD today, so this is a fresh hell. Any tips for dealing with the hunger grump in situations where you need to be friendly?
a little reminder for me but maybe also you
/u/daintymaya
Created: Tue Oct 23 12:13:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qrksp/a_little_reminder_for_me_but_maybe_also_you/
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i binged for the first time in two weeks. i was doing so well (restricting wayyyyy too low) and an Event that happened today really triggered me. i feel disgusting. i want to s/h so badly.
...but i wont. its going to be ok. tomorrow is another day. i wont regain all my weight in one binge. if i avoid binging tomorrow then it will go back to normal. its going to be ok.
​
ITS GOING TO BE OK GUYS!!!!! DONT LET ONE BINGE RUIN YOUR LIFE!
i just spent 40$ on protein powder
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 90 | 17.0 | GW: 85]
Created: Tue Oct 23 11:43:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qratp/i_just_spent_40_on_protein_powder/
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i'm tired of being really underweight and having this doughy ass skinny fat body so this morning i decided to be ""normal"" and ""healthy"" by torrenting the whole of t25 and investing in protein powder and protein pancake mix (but of course i'm gonna have it with water not milk and count the 100 calories as all i'm allowed to eat between 10am and 10pm lmao)
this bitch is gonna get LEAN and TONED! (all whilst freaking out about gaining obv haha kill me)
...does anyone else use protein shakes and do resistance training or other more intense workouts? how does it compare aesthetically to just not eating? will 22g of protein a day actually make a difference? did i just waste my money lmao
i wanna here y'all's experiences
Hahaha
/u/EDm-
Created: Tue Oct 23 11:34:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qr7ye/hahaha/
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You know you have an eating disorder when you eat half a egg white “omelette” (just egg white cooked in a pan with 1 calorie spray) 2 potato waffles and a quarter of a piece of bread and you feel full because you have been restricting to 300-400 calories a day for like 4 months 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼
[Rant/Rave] Losing weight is fixing my relationship with my boyfriend
/u/FancyForager [5'2" | CW: 143 | HW: 171 | LW: 120 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 11:29:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qr67w/losing_weight_is_fixing_my_relationship_with_my/
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For the past few months, I was overweight. My boyfriend was never mean to me and remained very sweet for the most part, but just stopped looking at me, touching me, talking to me as much, or initiating sex more than once a week. Now that I've lost 15 lbs, he grabs my ass when I walk by, jokes around with me, touches my hair, kisses me, tells me I'm pretty, pounces on me and bangs me in the middle of the kitchen, etc. I know other people have come here and said the same thing but I just want to reiterate that it has nothing to do with my personality changing or my confidence because I still feel like a fat piece of shit, wear the same clothes, and am literally just as depressed as I was when I was bigger.
I don't blame him or think he's shallow at all. He's a super good person and has never mistreated me. I just feel like we got our spark back and I know it will only get better as I continue on the same path. It's super inspiring and just makes me want to continue restricting!
Husbands Compliment?
/u/mullberryjam
Created: Tue Oct 23 11:17:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qr2f5/husbands_compliment/
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So last night my mom gave me a pair of pants that she didn't like, and I tried them on this morning. I asked my husband how they looked, he said good. Then the more I was in them, the more I realized they were a little big on me. So I mentioned that and he said THATS A GOOD THING. A good thing? Why because I'm fat and that means I'm getting thinner???? WTHHHHH. So basically I wore the pants today so I could remind myself how fat I am and just drink my damn lemon water. Good motivation tho. :(
[Help] Quit smoking
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Tue Oct 23 11:00:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqwgn/quit_smoking/
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3 days in and I can't stop eating!!! It's doing my head in! I wanna cry :(
I feel like as a short person it doesn't even matter that I can fit into small sizes
/u/cmb77 [5'2" | CW: 108 | GW: 98 | F | peach: melohsu47]
Created: Tue Oct 23 11:00:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqwgh/i_feel_like_as_a_short_person_it_doesnt_even/
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I feel like it would only be an accomplishment to be size 0/xs if I wasn't so fuckin stubby
I just look at pics of models wearing clothes and the description being like "model is 5'11" wearing size small" and I'm like wow if I'm 5'2" and wearing a size xsmall that's still fucking huge
uggghhh I hate being short
[Discussion] I feel like I’ve ruined my body
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Tue Oct 23 10:58:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqw2z/i_feel_like_ive_ruined_my_body/
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I’m getting there sure, losing some weight but god my body has been ruined by all the extra fat. I’m afraid my back and shoulders will never be the same unless I get to an underweight BMI. It’s giving me a lot of anxiety because my fat distribution is so uglyyyyyy.
Anyone else feel like they've lost their creativity their mental illness/ED?
/u/thekroganrebellions [5'5.5"|121lbs|-15lbs|25F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 10:47:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqsh2/anyone_else_feel_like_theyve_lost_their/
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I'm a film production major and a casual artist but I also have bipolar disorder and am struggling with an anorexia relapse. I'm still doing okay-ish in school but my passion and creativity are completely is gone. I used to enjoy screenwriting, making documentaries, and drawing but now all I care about is losing weight. Every project I've turned in has been half assed while everyone else in my major is turning in these beautiful films. Has anyone else experienced this?
[Help] supplements for thinning hair and brittle nails
/u/coffeecalories [5'0 | 94.0| 18.4 | -46 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 10:41:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqq92/supplements_for_thinning_hair_and_brittle_nails/
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Hello friends, my hair has been thinning more and more rapidly and my nails are awful despite me putting a biotin coat on them twice a day. I look and feel disgusting. I restrict and fast heavily nearly every day and I do not currently take any kind of supplements, but I think it is time for me to look into it. I was taking the classic "hair, skin, and nails" but not long enough for me to see a difference. Any supplement suggestions? Or any other advice, like how often you guys wash your hair/what products you use? Thanks!
DAE feel ok about their body until they try and take a picture of it in the mirror?
/u/anathebasic [5'8" | CW: 130 | 19.8 | GW: 125 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 10:36:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqois/dae_feel_ok_about_their_body_until_they_try_and/
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I feel like I'm going crazy. I'll lose some weight and start to see some more waist definition etc and then when I go to take a picture of it it's like I'm a flat board? The whole way down?
​
Am I losing it or does this happen to anyone else? Drives me NUTS when I'm trying to take a snap of clothes I'm trying on in dressing rooms to send to my friends for advice too, I end up captioning all my pics with "It looks better in person" lol maybe I have a weird form of BDD where I like my body irl but not on a screen idk
Wide rib cage
/u/Amelindinum
Created: Tue Oct 23 10:36:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqoi8/wide_rib_cage/
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I feel so much despair because no matter how light I get, I'm not going to have a slender sillouhette. My rib cage is MASSIVE, especially for my height-- not even five feet tall and I have a football player's torso. It protrudes even at my very highest weight, and because my ribs and pelvis are so close together I can't get a nice, tiny, curved in waist. I looks like a fat banana-- no curves. And I'm still waaay over my goal weight and each of my ribs is already painfully visible. I just look ridiculous.
What to do? There's got to be some weird solution for having a goddamn barrel for a chest.
[Rant/Rave] someone took my scale and im pissed off
/u/teenytokki [5'1|109.6lbs|20.7|-14.7lbs|F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 10:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qqjt9/someone_took_my_scale_and_im_pissed_off/
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ill probably delete this later but i just needed to vent this because im super pissed off rn but i dont know who to vent to without them asking about why i need a scale.
this morning i woke up and was excited to do my daily weigh-in when i realized the scale i keep in my room was nowhere to be found. now to be preface; i bought this scale myself. i bought it in secret when i was with a friend because i didn't want my parents asking questions, just wanted to quietly buy a scale before i went to college so i could track my weight. i made sure to choose a nice one that i could trust, where the instructions specified how to weigh yourself properly, and it was ~50$. i bought this with the money that i made working and its mine, and definitely not any of the business of my family.
when i woke up to find the scale GONE, i flipped out. luckily my parents were in the house but it went from quietly muttering "where the fuck is it" to literally on the edge of having an anxiety attack, thinking "how does a person lose a scale in their own room?" i finally found it in the laundry room after searching my parents' room, as i got a gut feeling somebody took it.
i'm probably overreacting but i'm fucking livid right now. not only does that feel really invasive thinking that somebody walked into my room, saw a scale then took it, but it's just not right? like i bought the damn scale with my own money... it was in my room... it belongs to me. so who in their right mind decides they can just take it, ESPECIALLY when they know it's mine because it certainly doesn't belong to anyone else in the family and it was in my room!!! i'm just super frustrated that somebody would do this because i've made it clear that for the time being i'm back in my parents' home, i want people to stay out of my fucking business and my room.
again i probably sound bratty and am just upset rn but i feel like if anyone could relate it'd be this sub. i'm just super pissed that this has happened because i've had problems with telling my mom to stay out of my room and stop snooping, and i can't bring it up because they're going to ask "why do you need a scale anyways?".
so yea, not a great way to start my morning
Anyone else have weird proportions?
/u/spiky_pineapples
Created: Tue Oct 23 09:55:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qq9zr/anyone_else_have_weird_proportions/
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So I was at a climbing place the other day and the guy who is going to teach me lead climbing kept asking about my athletic experience and I was really confused until he said I had massive legs.
First off, I know it was meant as a compliment on my muscle, but yowch. That's going to fuel a good few weeks of heavy restriction. Second off, I've been thinking about that ever since, and about my general body shape. I have a really long torso, tiny arms, huge hands, gigantic thighs but no ass to speak of. I've got a really big and prominant rib cage, but I'm still above 20 BMI. (Not for long, hopefully....)
What are yall's frustrating proportions?
[Intro] I guess I’ll finally introduce myself
/u/lightswornmomma [5’7 | 125.4lbs | 19.6 | 60lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 23 09:37:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qq45b/i_guess_ill_finally_introduce_myself/
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My name is Jessica, but a lot of my friends have called me Luna for the past ten years. I’m 23 years old, from Mississippi. I’m a mom to a super cool 4 year old girl and I’m currently married. I’m 5’7, 125lbs. I’m trying to get back down to 115(give or take). Three years ago I was about 180lbs. Anyway, I’m always down to talk to anyone about anything and I’m always looking for new friends 💛
Do we really burn that much just standing?
/u/Creative__Username__ [64"| CW: disordered | GW: Satisfied | UGW: Happy]
Created: Tue Oct 23 09:36:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qq3si/do_we_really_burn_that_much_just_standing/
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So I've looked online to a bunch of websites.
[https://captaincalculator.com/health/calorie/calories-burned-standing-calculator/](https://captaincalculator.com/health/calorie/calories-burned-standing-calculator/)
[https://www.juststand.org/the-tools/calorie-burn-calculator/](https://www.juststand.org/the-tools/calorie-burn-calculator/)
and a lot of others (but i don't wanna clutter the post lol). they all put me burning between 300-350 calories standing and working. I do my schoolwork at a standing desk, so. can that be right?
Food just went from bad to worse
/u/hamiifan [4'11 | 89.6 | 18.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 09:27:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qq0op/food_just_went_from_bad_to_worse/
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Usually i am scared to eat because i don't wanna gain weight. I know I have no self control and will binge whenever I get the chance. But I'm taking a class on infectious diseases for my degree and now I'm actually terrified to eat.
[Rant/Rave] It Happened to Me: Google's search algorithm thinks I'm obese
/u/canarybones [5'1 | CW125 | BMI 23.6 | GW105 | 29F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 09:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpx05/it_happened_to_me_googles_search_algorithm_thinks/
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I think I've confused it by obsessively browsing weight loss info, weight loss subs, and an even split of thinspo and Ashley Graham's IG. She's just really hot, okay?
And now when it's time to open up the old incognito window and look at wedding dresses when I'm not engaged, half of the ones it shows me are plus sized.
It's fucked up, but my ED took this as a personal attack, like I want to fill out a complaint form and send it to someone. (:
Just going to leave this here...
/u/clearandfull
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:54:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpppa/just_going_to_leave_this_here/
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https://gizmodo.com/no-such-thing-as-too-much-exercise-study-finds-1829874676
Gaining weight for surgery
/u/Sashimiloverr1
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:51:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpoot/gaining_weight_for_surgery/
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And GOD it is taking such a toll on my mental health....if I can't restrict I get so stressed. My Dr wants me to gain 30 pounds like...HOW :( i can't do this I'm going to freak soon....what can I do to get through this? My Dr is treating this like a good thing as though I would be happy to eat junk...please I don't care if I "can eat anything I want" I just want to fast and wither away...its elective surgery (plastic) and I've already paid so I don't want to mess this up but it's so hard....
On mobile so not sure how to flair
TW (self harm)
/u/m0nkeysinthewalls [171cm | 57kg | 19.2 | LW37kg | F <3]
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:46:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpmyl/tw_self_harm/
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I have self harm scars on my arm, a few millimeters apart, and I body check by wrapping my fingers around.
It is almost like a built-in measuring tape to monitor my weight. Every time I move up a ‘notch’, Its a little victory haha. Does anyone else relate?
[Rant/Rave] Rant about my parents
/u/onepostforme
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:37:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpk7q/rant_about_my_parents/
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I'm not sure if it was my mom or my dad but someone bought two types of soda, three cans of Pringles (2 original 1cheddar) and two bags of mini milkyway. We have never gotten a trick or treater in 14 years, we have no one to give away candy to, my fiance doesn't like milky way and I'm heavy restricting/fasting till our trip so I don't have to feel so bad about eating all the food (planning a binge so helps me avoid binging today on random crappy food like I normally would).
I just don't understand buying multiples. Like buy one thing of original Pringles, one cheddar, and one bag of milkyway and then another bag of candy. I know it came from Walgreens and I know they always have buy one get one half off or something of the sort so I get the buying two bags of candy but why the same?
Anyway I'll probably pack a few milkyway for my trip but everyone else has been eating the Pringles pretty fast and drinking up the soda and my parents already made a huge dent in the first bag of milkyway so I bet it will be gone or close to gone by the time I go on my trip.
I wonder what wierd new groceries they will buy when I'm out of town, or if they will avoid real grocery shopping and cooking and I'll come home to rotted veg and fruit since they buy more than I can eat and rarely eat it themselves. It will either be tons of chips and soda and meat and bread or they will eat a the tuna packets and complain that we are out of food.
One more thing that bothers me is that they don't throw things away and they don't plan meals very well. I basically don't eat any food they cook and sometimes not even the food my fiance cooks because I'm restricting. I only eat what other people cook when I'm not counting calories and it almost always turns into a complete binge. So then they will cook a roast or a chicken or whatever on a day my fiance is working late and then we have so many left overs and my dad will either sit down and binge eat them on top of fast food or another dinner or they just sit in the fridge till I ask if we can throw them away. My dad is also a horrible cook.
It's not just meals, ham for sandwiches from the deli only last three or four days, maybe five days at most, but we have ham from the 14th that's still in the fridge. Strawberries, something only my parents buy and only my parents eat, are leaking, again, and that's the third pack in a row where maybe one or two got eaten. We have old cherry tomatoes and my dad bought new ones but never did anything about the old ones. My house is full of gnats because my dad is a botanist and he brought home at least fifty bananas but it might be more, now when he's home the oven is constantly running on warm and he's making banana chips. Also now our over stuffed freezers are full of bananas.
Worst part is that they don't even ask if I want anything when they go to the store. My dad just tells me that he bought a chicken and if fiance want to cook it we can and if not he will. Like I could use more poweraide zero and I'm out of my vitamin D and I need more socks before my trip and I ate all the cucumber so more of that would be good. I think he doesn't ask because he wants it to be a quick trip but he will buy dumb shit we already own and he'll just buy some random meat for dinner but myself and my fiance don't eat his food, largely because he's a shit cook. He will buy stuff to make burgers and brots, not tell anyone he is cooking, and then they are dry and usually burnt, and my fiance will have his lunch plans ruined. If he could at least say "I'm making the burgers" to give us a moment to say "hold on fiance wants to cook his own so leave aside some for him" that would at least help with all the food waste.
Sorry this is much longer than I expected
[Rant/Rave] Don’t really know who I am if I’m not skinny
/u/Hiyoheyyo
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpjyn/dont_really_know_who_i_am_if_im_not_skinny/
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So recently I started a FWB with this super attractive guy. It’s been great and all. My confidence has been through the roof because A) I think I’ve been losing wait (just been using a measuring tape) and B) this guy said I was super hot and have no fat on me (lol). Well it’s a daily kinda FWB things but he barely texts me (that’s a whole other story, I just crave constant attention and validation).
So since being with this dude I’ve noticed I’ve been getting a lot of attention from other guys and it’s made me question: If I wasn’t this skinny (tho wanna be skinnier) and if guys didn’t give me the attention and validation I crave then who am I??
Who am I without an eating disorder? I’ve been having trouble trying to answer that question because I don’t really remember who I was before. In fact, I hate who I was before I had an eating disorder. Idk it’s a lot. Just wanted to come on here and say it cuz I know you all get it. And I can’t go to any of my friends about it because they won’t understand.
[Other] How long until your metabolism slows down during restricting?
/u/tubbyelephant
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:31:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpi8j/how_long_until_your_metabolism_slows_down_during/
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So I’ve been restricting <500 calories a day for a few weeks and now I’m starting to worry about how your metabolism slows down at a certain point. Does anyone have any experience with this? How long did you restrict until your metabolism stalled?
What's your rule for when a weigh-in 'counts'?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:109 | bmi: 19.3 | F | 24]
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:26:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpgh1/whats_your_rule_for_when_a_weighin_counts/
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i doubt this is just me but despite weighing myself multiple times a morning i only let one of them count. my rules are:
* in the morning
* after using the bathroom
* before eating or drinking anything
* naked
and only that one counts. its been kind of annoying because lately i weigh myself after working out, when Ive only had two cups of water (which equals a pound) so even though i know i can just weigh myself after and subtract a pound for the water i just drank, i still dont feel like it counts cause WhAt iF mY MaTh Is WrOnG?!
so ive been stuck on 109.2 on my one weigh in that counts, but my extra weigh ins after workouts have been in the mid 108s. which i love! but i will only really love it once i weigh that in my 'true' weigh in.
do you guys do this or am i way too rigid with my rules? 😅
Coffee or tea?
/u/SushiUschi
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:20:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qpeou/coffee_or_tea/
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I prefer tea. 🍵 Any type of tea.
[Rant/Rave] Mom called me obsessed with my weight and then triggered me
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 08:01:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qp8oy/mom_called_me_obsessed_with_my_weight_and_then/
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I think my mom is catching on because I weighed myself two separate times last night using the scale in my parents bedroom (because it’s 1lb less than mine and I’m pathetic lol). And the second time I straight up just took off my pants in front of her and stepped on the scale and she called me “obsessed with my weight”. Welp sweetie what did you expect after constantly commenting and ridiculing me for my size and weight for years 🤷🏽♀️
The icing on the cake however was her asking me how much I weigh which isn’t super low atm so I wasn’t worried about admitting my weight, and her saying “oh you don’t look like it”. lmao gee thanks. She tried to clarify by saying it’s not that I’m fat it’s just that I don’t look like I weigh that little lmao thanks still not helping.
[Other] Original content. Now I kinda wish I had kept my mouth shut for at least another couple weeks...
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Tue Oct 23 07:53:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qp61t/other_original_content_now_i_kinda_wish_i_had/
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https://imgur.com/cNPN1Rr
[Rant/Rave] Well fuck,
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 5|116lb|GW: 110|19.86|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Tue Oct 23 07:43:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qp30v/well_fuck/
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So this isn't entirely eating disorder related but this feels like the only place I can really talk about it all :/
I'm a fucking wreck, I have been for the past few days. I had to do some simple maths...and fucked it up, I had to measure the optical density (how cloudy something is) and fucked that up by adding the solution I'd just made up but not added bacteria to 🙃. I fucking cried over all this, I feel like no one wants me around anymore guys, I'm not eating and I'm self harming cause I don't want to confide in anyone about how I'm feeling cause I'll feel like a burden.
On top of that one of my friends who is super smart and my S/O who is also super smart are going for the same PhD that I want to go for, there are multiple places but both of them have got firsts so far and I've only gotten a 2:1 and I *know* if I go for it I won't get it so I'm contemplating just not and resigning myself to the fact I'm an idiot so what's the point in trying when I can't even do. Simple. Fucking. Maths? I wanted to go for another PhD in a similar area but my best friend is going for it and she has more experience than I do so I'm not gonna bother.
I don't wanna eat but my S/O gets on my back about it cause they want me to be safe but I just kinda wanna die right now guys. I just wanna waste away, I don't *deserve* to eat, I'm not skinny, I'm not pretty or handsome, I'm just a lump. I never get a compliment from my S/O, they feel like it's something I should just know, same with the fact I'm loved. I'm so scared about losing them, like one day they'll realise just how fucked up I am and how disgusting I am and decide that they don't want me around anymore.
I'm sorry guys, I needed somewhere to vent and all of y'all are so lovely.
[Rant/Rave] I hate my knees
/u/ZeroCalCupcake [5'6| CW 220 | 35.5| - 80 lbs| NB]
Created: Tue Oct 23 07:41:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qp2j4/i_hate_my_knees/
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I was doing so well restricting and exercising but both my knees are deformed (have been my whole life) and started hurting. This always happens. I hate my body. Does anyone else have a disability? It makes it so hard for me to consistently lose because it’s so much easier for me to be in restrict mode when I’m able to walk and do exercise. I’m so upset. I hate when this happens. It’s hard for me to even get to class.
Lying
/u/aparine [172 cm | 54,6 kg | 18,46 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 07:33:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qozxt/lying/
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I just lied to my mom about eating for the first time and I feel super guilty but at the same time I don't wanna confess to lying bc I think that'll only make things worse :c How do you all deal with lying? Does it get easier or is the guilt constant??
[Rant/Rave] Sometimes I wonder how my friends and partner put up with me?
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|116lb|GW: 110|19.86|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Tue Oct 23 07:32:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qozsk/sometimes_i_wonder_how_my_friends_and_partner_put/
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[removed]
When I'm in doubt, I starve it out.
/u/NutelllaBellla [5' 3.5"| CW: 133.5 | BMI: 23.4 | -40| F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:53:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qoobh/when_im_in_doubt_i_starve_it_out/
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Am I pretty enough?
Intelligent enough?
Athletic enough?
Popular enough?
All-American and sweet enough for the adults?
Stylish enough?
Do they like me,
Do they hate me?
I will never know for sure... I can't read anyone's minds.
But I can be
thin enough so,
When I'm in doubt I starve it out. And it makes me perfectly happy.
[Other] IDK guys I love you so much
/u/b-carbonate [5’6" | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 21.6 | 🏳️🌈 | 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:50:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qonkk/idk_guys_i_love_you_so_much/
---
https://i.redd.it/5zl5o52amxt11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Down weight and... I think I did it a healthy way?
/u/aeroplanessky [5"3 | 110]
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:43:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qolni/down_weight_and_i_think_i_did_it_a_healthy_way/
---
I don't know what to think. Am I recovering? I've been going to the gym regularly and doing group classes, then coming home and eating mostly normally. And I'm losing weight still??? Faster than when I just starved???
A usual day is walking up, not eating anything at work, then going to the gym for an hour or so, then going home and basically eating whatever I want. Its still probably only 800 calories a day, but I'm not obsessing. I'm four pounds down in three weeks time, and if I've gained and muscle, that's really more like 4.5 pounds of straight fat.
I'm kind of scared of "recovering". I don't want to stop looking a little too thin and a little unhealthy. But I'm sick of my skinny-fat and this seems to be working, so???
[Discussion] *NSFW* Thoughts on giving head?
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:25:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qognp/nsfw_thoughts_on_giving_head/
---
Not sure if I'm the only one like this, so I thought I'd ask around here.
When I'm heavy restricting/fasting I have a weird complex about putting anything in to my mouth- like even gum and water are sometimes difficult. And now apparently giving head is a problem as well. I feel bad because it's not that I don't want to do it, but when I'm really in the zone with my disorder I have weird oral hangups and don't want to have anything any my mouth at all.
Anybody else like this?
[Rant/Rave] Weight is weird
/u/Wander3 [Height: 162cm | CW: 37.4 kg]
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:10:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qocmn/weight_is_weird/
---
Scale when I’m bloated and post binge: 37.4 kg
Scale after a week of restricting and post migraine induced poop and vomiting: 37.9 kg
Okay why? How?
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday October 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qocap/thinspo_tuesday_october_23_2018/
---
Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 23, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:09:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qoc48/daily_food_diary_october_23_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 23, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Renewed resolve
/u/friedghosts [5'1''|99ish|F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 06:07:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qoblw/renewed_resolve/
---
As it was, I had already planned to avoid eating today (apart from an unavoidable dinner). My purging hasn't been able to keep up with my binging and so my weight has been creeping up - now at the heaviest I've been all year (flair is waaay out of date). This morning was shitty and emotional so that was one thing that strengthened my resolve...
But what really renewed my "commitment" to actually trying to lose weight was a catch-up I had with a friend today... Who told me that she has lost 10 whole kilograms in two months. Like, she was already slim to begin with, and this weight loss was really without her trying (she seems to have something hereditary that's perhaps been excited by stress). So she's at easy risk for hypoglycaemia because she's lost so much weight so quickly and she doesn't know the exact cause. While I do feel worried for her health (she's aware herself this could be a serious issue) it's really reinforced my lack of appetite. I mean, sure, I could eat and hear my stomach. But eating is not something that is appealing to me right now.
When a thought flits in that "oh, there's a candy bar in the pantry I could eat", or "there's Ben and Jerry's in the freezer", I'm reminded about how my friend told me all her clothes are so baggy on her now. I think "I could shove so many cookies in my mouth right now", I recall her saying how she has to actually try hard to remember to keep snacks on her now.
I'm worried for her but I also feel jealous and then that makes feel guilty. But I could be thin too...
[Rant/Rave] The morning decisions....
/u/ie63 [5'6 | CW:196 | GW:125 | -38 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 05:51:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qo7o0/the_morning_decisions/
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So I always start my day deciding EVERYTHING Im going to eat for the day. If I log it, I more often than not stick to it. But this has become pretty stressful.. I weight myself for the day then have to decide... should I fast, limit my carbs, whats the highest calorie limit I will go... I really want peanut butter toast but maybe just coffee and a ciggarette will do... im just ranting about constantly being obsessive about food.. this morning in particular im having trouble deciding what to eat today I made it to a new LW (yes its still high af but ive always been fat so) but I really wanna make sure it sticks... ugh the stress 😔
[Thinspo] New (to me) Thinspo
/u/Adrenalize_me [5’6” | HW 226 | CW 209.4 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 05:29:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qo27j/new_to_me_thinspo/
---
So, I've fallen down the kpop rabbit hole. I was using a couple girl groups' music videos to help trigger myself, but the constantly moving camera angles prevents staring for too long, so I was getting frustrated.
BUT THEN.
But then I discovered that BlackPink posts their dance practice videos, which are filmed from one spot, in front of them. A: I love watching dance, all types. Love it.
B: They're so tiny and adorable and I'm officially obsessed with watching these videos. I still love the music videos, but these are now also on my thinspo list.
I'm sure I'm the last one to the party, but just in case someone else in here didn't know, I thought I'd share <3
[Other] read this
/u/iwhwiwj
Created: Tue Oct 23 05:18:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qnzk9/read_this/
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasting_girl
[Discussion] DAE feel normal?
/u/LynCross
Created: Tue Oct 23 05:00:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qnv2m/dae_feel_normal/
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Today, I felt normal. I ate my breakfast of 143 calories, drank monster zero cal for energy, then went to the gym. I felt like any other person trying to lose the weight were they have a calorie deficit.
I felt normal until there was a free sample table and they just kept asking me to try it every time I went past them. I checked the label, 160 kcal, but the free sample was small but it didn't have a calorie count.
I took it but I was hesitant to eat it. I just couldn't. I went to the bathroom, chewed on it, then spit it out.
Then I didn't feel so normal anymore, but I swear..only until I reach my UGW..only then..
[Discussion] DAE hate feeling full
/u/gkelleyr
Created: Tue Oct 23 04:42:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qnr1e/dae_hate_feeling_full/
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I no longer enjoy feeling full because I know if I see more food later on (which happens every day because I live on a college campus with free food everywhere) or have plans, I will eat even though I'm not hungry.
I've gained 13 lbs in the last three weeks, one week of overeating, two weeks of binges, and now trying to get back on track. It's been one week, and I fasted one day and lost two pounds but I'm having a hard time not having any binges.
5'5 CW 119 (-\_-) LW 108 GW 112.
[Help] It’s Gotta Be the Sodium, Right?
/u/_Pulltab_ [5'7"| CW 158.6| 24.8| F]
Created: Tue Oct 23 04:31:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qnoo4/its_gotta_be_the_sodium_right/
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The past 3 weeks I’ve had my weight creeping up despite never once coming within 500 calories of my TDEE, working out for 1.5 - 2 hours 3-4 times a week and mostly maintaining keto (I’m also vegetarian). Two weeks ago I popped up 1/2 pound. Ok, fine, that happens. This past week I crept up another 1.5 pounds. I ate out of keto this weekend (but again, well under my TDEE) so, fine. Whatever.
This morning I was up another .8 pounds. WTAF? I only ate about 300 net carbs if you subtract my workout burn. I am ALWAYS very precise with my intake and measure everything but even if you say I completely misjudged my workout burn, and discount it completely, I consumed less than half myTDEE.
The only thing I can think of is the fact that I ate so much sodium (double the daily recommendation) that it’s just water weight. Right? RIGHT? I’m about to stop eating altogether I can’t fucking take this anymore!!!!
the reality of living alone
/u/backbysix [5'8" | CW 127 | GW 115 | SW 152]
Created: Tue Oct 23 03:39:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qnd6k/the_reality_of_living_alone/
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me, before moving out: “can’t wait to have no binge foods in my house! tea and fruit and safe foods only!”
me, now living alone, at least once a week at 2 am, eating pickles: “WHY are there no CHIPS in this GOD-FORSAKEN hellhole”
[Discussion] Ritalin... Praise Be Bitch
/u/Cieran7
Created: Tue Oct 23 03:28:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qnayv/ritalin_praise_be_bitch/
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I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life. It is normally well controlled with medication, however I am 5 months post partum and my anxiety has begun manifesting in a more social way. I went to my doctor and described my symptoms, (restlessness, fear of people, lack of focus, intrusive and repetitive thoughts) and he prescribed me Ritalin to be used in combination with my antidepressant. Low and behold it is working, which is great, and as a bonus my appetite is non existent. My doctor said the weight loss is caused not only by a suppressed appetite, but also by something to do with mitochondria functioning differently thus affecting calories burned while sedentary? I don’t know though. I know this sub is pretty torn down the middle about Ritalin/Adderall/Vyvance, ect, but has anyone else had positive experiences with this? I’d love to know weight lost in a specific time frames. I’m sure there’s another sub for info on this but y’all are my people.
[Other] Birthday dinner coming through.
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Tue Oct 23 03:21:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qn9iu/birthday_dinner_coming_through/
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It was my birthday last week, my family know I struggle with food so they made a shared portion of chicpea roast. It was great and I didn't end up binging or purging, which my mother admitted was her goal at the end of the night.
Yesterday I spent the day at her house,and ate some of the chicpeas for dinner after my noodles didn't come out right. Like pizza they had aged amazingly. Disgusting, I know.
Well, I've given myself some variation of food poisoning and won't be keeping anything down for the next few days. I can't even stomach water. I have no idea what specificly caused this, asides eating week old reheated peas, but happy late birthday me, I'll be having an involuntary fast to celebrate.
[Rant/Rave] Weight loss should probably not feel better than sex but oh boy does it
/u/mossalto
Created: Tue Oct 23 02:33:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmzz1/weight_loss_should_probably_not_feel_better_than/
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I had got myself to 172 but after a disgusting binge on Saturday I was back up to 174 until yesterday and hating myself for it.
Then I started the morning in bed with the bf and after he left for work I got up and weighed myself and I was at 169!!! I actually gasped out loud and then had a long moment if staring at the wall as I processed that losing not actually that much weight had made me happier than the sex and I tried to reevaluate my priorities.
I mean, it's still 15 off even my first GW and I still hate myself, but it's the biggest difference between 1 day that I've ever had so I'll take it as a victory.
Totally fasting today to make sure it sticks though.
instagram food videos
/u/backbysix [5'8" | CW 127 | GW 115 | SW 152]
Created: Tue Oct 23 02:32:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmzwn/instagram_food_videos/
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you know the ones. they make some wack recipe with every sweet in their house and they turn it into some calorie bomb. oreo cheesecake and giant cookies and insane milkshakes and
well anyway. my new hobby is watching those videos and dreaming about indulging. i feel like the dog in [this video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw) where the man is also me, wielding the power of instagram and self loathing.
[Other] DAE chain smoke while fasting?
/u/SheWhoDaresToSpeak
Created: Tue Oct 23 02:24:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmyct/dae_chain_smoke_while_fasting/
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Just like the title says, for everyone here that does smoke (if you don't, don't startttttttt), anyone else find that they tend to chain smoke while on a fast or highly restricting? Not sure if it's the EC stack I'm doing right now or what is up with me, but it seems like im never really satiated with just one cigarette. Normally I only go through like 5 through a whole day but already I've probably gone through half a pack today alone 🙄 not to mention there's some sort of bronchial cold going through my house rn and I cannot afford to catch that nastiness. Regardless, I'll just take my energy rush that's coming with the dtack and run with it. Re-arrange my entire room? Yes please. 12 loads of laundry? Why the fuck not. What's that? Redo the living room? Never thought you'd ask!
[Discussion] DAE like to keep food around specifically to not eat it?
/u/RottingDirtDog
Created: Tue Oct 23 02:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmuee/dae_like_to_keep_food_around_specifically_to_not/
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I must admit I sometimes hoard food. It's a problem I've had for years. I'll buy non-perishables in large quantities and just hide them under my bed essentially. I'll open a packet of crisps, eat one or two, look at the calories and fat content, then fold them up and put them back. I feel so guilty because I know some people can't even afford food but something about owning it but not eating it makes me feel strong.
Unfortunately it makes it harder when I start a binge.
jfc kill pls.
/u/hera-fawcett
Created: Tue Oct 23 01:28:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmnmn/jfc_kill_pls/
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ugh, I legit ate 5000 calories the last two days.
my period is coming up and I'm legit angry bc pmdd- it's 2.30a and my dumbass decided to call someone out on discord for being an oversensitive little bitch and snarked out "well why can't I say this bc ____ gets offended" bc lemme just say my opinions. then proceeded to tell how said person was a legit child cunt in my eyes. then got kicked from that discord by someone I don't even know- like, who the fuck are you, you aren't the leader lmao.
ugh. I gained like 6lbs last 7 days and like is that impossible? lol no bc I did. 133-> almost 140 kill me pls.
I just can't put down my phone to make good decisions. like at all. and I'm mad that I ate so much and I'm mad bc i just want to shove more food in my face and I'm upset bc goddamn just put a gun to my head and I'm upset bc I know this feeling is only triggered by my crazy ass PMDD so legit four days from now I'll be fine and regrettsi spaghetti-ing my decisions and life and fucjdkkejej.
It just sucks. So much.
/u/idkwhyiamthewayiam
Created: Tue Oct 23 01:21:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmmdz/it_just_sucks_so_much/
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I've been lurking for a WHILE and I never had the courage to post in here but I need to vent.
I use be 5'8 140ish in high school but I have a pear shaped body and I loved the way I looked. I felt sexy and my stomach was flat but I still had the softness and curves in my thighs and butt and I felt very feminine.
I also had bulimia, and I would purge every night.
Then I got with my boyfriend, who became my best friend, and I would hang out with him everyday and he sometimes wouldn't leave my house until late at night. Then the house was too quiet for me to purge. I gained like 10 pounds but I still felt like I was in control and I could exercise it out. Then his mom got evicted because she's super trash and my awesome mom took pity on him and let him move in with us since he was at my house 24/7 anyways. I then couldn't purge because I was 100% embarrassed that he could hear me and I also didn't want him to worry about me. Because he's super caring and I KNOW he would've said something to me or my mom if I purged like I would.
Then I ballooned up to my current weight. 5'8, 190 lbs. and it fucking sucks. Just sucks completely. I kept eating like I would while I purged, but of course without purging I retained all of it. I use to be super fashionable and pretty, i have gorgeous clothing in my closet but I can't fit into any of them. I only wear sweatpants and xl hoodies, and that makes me feel worse, but I also can't wear any cute clothing because I feel like everyone is looking at my disgusting body.
I just feel so sad. And I'm pretty sure my shitty birth control isn't helping. And I know what I have to do. I have exercise clothing and I know how to portion control. But every single time I get stressed I start to eat like a fucking hippo. And I have absolutely no motivation to go the gym, or to even shower. I just feel so miserable.
And to make it worse, I no longer find myself wanting a slim thick body like I had. I want to be skinnier. Like I want a 17.5 bmi and look like a kpop star.
I'm sorry for the wall of text but I have kept all of this in my chest for years and it's the first time I feel comfortable sharing. Fml, I just want to be skinny again.
[Rant/Rave] Just the worst...
/u/brbaaaa
Created: Tue Oct 23 01:04:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmire/just_the_worst/
---
​
https://i.redd.it/fwcx15diwvt11.png
[Tip] CHECK OUT My sikkkk 3am dinner breakfast thing: and by breakfast i mean the night before, when no-ones around and u can allow urself a low cal breakfast-dinner, b4 bed because u fasted all day 🙏
/u/harperNovaStrom
Created: Tue Oct 23 01:03:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmifz/check_out_my_sikkkk_3am_dinner_breakfast_thing/
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https://i.redd.it/ujybzrpcwvt11.jpg
[rant] Everything sucks
/u/IDontLikeLollipops
Created: Tue Oct 23 00:45:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmer8/rant_everything_sucks/
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I had an interview this morning for my dream job that I think I bombed.
I don't know how to do this stupid take home midterm.
My homework assignment isn't doing what I want it to do and I don't know why.
I injured my knees, so I can't walk long distances (I'm an anxious walker), and I can't see my physical therapist until Thursday.
I was doing really well today, but I had dinner with my dad and I feel fat.
My dad took a video of me, and I saw it, and my belly is so fucking fat.
I'm a flabby fucking loser.
I haven't had sex since September first and I want to die I'm so horny but too fat to do anything about it.
I have to wake up early tomorrow.
I hate myself.
[Discussion] DAE here lift weights? What's your routine?
/u/ActualLakeOfDietCoke [5'4" | CW: 132 | GW1: 120 |GW2:110| UGW: 100]
Created: Tue Oct 23 00:41:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmdyi/dae_here_lift_weights_whats_your_routine/
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[Rant/Rave] Idk just a typical rant
/u/shuffles888
Created: Tue Oct 23 00:29:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmbcn/idk_just_a_typical_rant/
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I moved to a new city last October and from that time until the end of August i maintained an underweight/anorexic BMI. I felt like I could keep going forever like that and I felt *almost* comfortable in my own skin. Then comes August and I literally haven’t stopped binging since then. Wtf every day I say I’m going to get my shit together and quit binging and every day I binge again, recently it’s been the Halloween candy at work.
I can barely leave the house except for work and I’m so depressed, I’m single af and fat and disgusting so why do I keep eating?
I haven’t been this fat in years and it’s fucking with my head, tonight I just kept thinking there’s nothing left to live for. I barely have any friends bc of my ED and now I’m fat to top it all off. Idk just a rant.
[Rant/Rave] "I'm a whole 10 calories over my daily limit - may as well give up and eat everything in sight."
/u/Ityma
Created: Tue Oct 23 00:25:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qmahc/im_a_whole_10_calories_over_my_daily_limit_may_as/
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W H Y does my brain work like this? Why does exceeding my limit by a tiny amount send me into a vicious binge cycle for days? I DONT UNDERSTAND IT.
You can see my progress on my old belt. Including the extra hole I embarrassingly had to make at one point.
/u/balisunrise
Created: Mon Oct 22 23:41:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qm17s/you_can_see_my_progress_on_my_old_belt_including/
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https://i.redd.it/au3ofrnrhvt11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] All or nothing
/u/existing--
Created: Mon Oct 22 23:24:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlxj1/all_or_nothing/
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Why can I eat nothing all day and be fine but as soon as I have one piece of food it’s all over and I want everything 😭
So stressed right now because I had caved and one sandwich and I can’t leave where I am and get more food for another 6 hours and I’m SO STRESSED and upset about it because now I just want to eat more and won’t feel okay until I do
This shit don’t make no fuckin sense
/u/TotallyNotARadar [6'1" | CW: 113 | BMI: 14.23 | F (MtF)]
Created: Mon Oct 22 23:24:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlxd4/this_shit_dont_make_no_fuckin_sense/
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I took off my shirt today and almost screamed. Like I’ve had a bad day and ate a mini pie (damn you Walmart and your 50c mini pies, it was delicious but damn you temptress whore) and pizza but like my stomach was round as hell and very much sticking out.
Fearfully I step on the scale and I’m in at 110, three pounds down from last time. What the dick? Reality machine broke.
anyone work at a warehouse??
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Mon Oct 22 23:19:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlwc7/anyone_work_at_a_warehouse/
---
Considering applying to amazon fulfillment on the side because you walk all day and apparently wages there are “decent”. Step count goals AND make ok money? Why not!
Wondering if anyone has experience there though.
[Discussion] What little realizations do you have about food and eating that seem obvious after you think about it?
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 23:00:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlrw5/discussion_what_little_realizations_do_you_have/
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I was just journaling and I wrote down that I felt a hunger pang but that didn't mean my appetite was there. That's when I realized they're two separate things. Duh. When I was really heavy I certainly wasn't that physically *hungry* but I had a HUGE appetite. And I have *zero* appetite now but I am HUNGRY sometimes. But I rarely notice my stomach unless it's talking lol, but it's just like I have earplugs in. Ignored.
[Rant/Rave] Made a jar of PBFit for my rice cakes and apple lunches
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.3kg |BMI: 20.7 | GW: 46.7kg | -28.3 kg | 26F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 22:17:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlhco/made_a_jar_of_pbfit_for_my_rice_cakes_and_apple/
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I bought it forever ago but mixing it for one serving just seemed like too much work. So tonight I decided to use one of the friggin 12 glass jars I keep after using them (banana peppers and such) and I was able to make a 400 calorie jar with 12 tablespoons in it! I can’t wait to use it tomorrow.
[Help] Why am I not losing weight?
/u/vandxm [5'6 | CW 116lbs | GW 100 | WL 21lbs | F25]
Created: Mon Oct 22 22:09:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlfdt/why_am_i_not_losing_weight/
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I'm on the lower end of a healthy bmi. Almost underweight (I thought I was underweight but turns out my scale was telling me I was 2kg lighter than I actually am so yay). For the last almost 2 months I've been gaining and losing the same 3kg from bingeing and restricting/fasting and I feel very frustrated right now. Even if I fast a whole day or restrict to 500-600 calories I don't lose any weight. This week I ate like 600 cal every day and I've only lost half a kilo like um?? Is this normal??? And if I eat maintenance one single day, the next day I'm from 0.5 to 1kg heavier like wtf?? I've been waiting for the "woosh" some people talk about but nothing happens I feel like my body won't let me lose any more weight. Oh and TMI: I don't know if this could affect my weightloss but I haven't pooped in over a week, I'm trying not to use laxatives and let my body do the work by itself but it's taking too long so idk :/
Should I just be more patient? I know the less I weight the harder it is to lose, it's just that I already feel like I'm starving myself and I'm not seeing any results. I hate my body so much ugh I honestly feel so frustrated I want to cry.
You know you're bulimic when....
/u/LucidlyAlive
Created: Mon Oct 22 22:01:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qld95/you_know_youre_bulimic_when/
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You go to both McDonald's and Wendy's in the same night....and you are paranoid that both stores somehow have a connection to one another....and then you wonder how much money bulimics spend at these particular franchises a year....
And then you throw it all up and wonder how much money in totality you have thrown into the toilet...
I feel guilty (rant)
/u/Skeletor_Rise
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:56:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlbz1/i_feel_guilty_rant/
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I honestly cannot recall a time I wasn't struggling with an ED, although I recovered after meeting my Boyfriend, it wasn't a conscious decision or anything - it just seemed to disappear and I forgot about it.
Until people mentioned it, I had been diagnosed with anorexia to which my Mother knew, and so I know she meant nothing mean by it; but she mentioned I was looking healthier, and that my cheeks were more full. This set my anorexia back on, people around me seemed so obsessed with weight and started mentioning that if I didn't take care of what I ate I could become fat, which really doesn't help to hear.
I began restricting a month or so ago, I am not really good at it because I can't help but binge over the weekend, so my weekdays are spent feeling dizzy and my weekends are spent feeling guilty.
I'm not sure if my Boyfriend has noticed, although he has noticed I'm a bit more self conscious.
My boyfriend has done such sweet things, like hugging my in front of a mirror and telling me how beautiful I am, wanting me to see it too. But I can't, no matter what I just feel hideous.
I'm not really that ugly, I know that logically, but the feeling is still there, I feel it. I feel fat, hideous and disgusting. I just wish I could agree with him, because he tries so hard. But I just can't help it.
[Help] Binge
/u/waverliethelane
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:53:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlbal/binge/
---
Well. It started with a piece of chocolate .
Five pieces , three burritos, and a bag of chips later.
FML
How do you deal with cravings and other things like that ? I need help
[Rant/Rave] Prevented a post exercise binge :)
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.5 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:51:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qlapc/prevented_a_post_exercise_binge/
---
So due to avoiding working out in front of people & avoiding my family; I've been getting in a lot of my cardio at night which means if I've already eaten my daily allowance or better had a success fast day; well yall know the drill...... Well tonight I took melatonin & 5-Htp supplement during my workout & it actually killed my appetite. I ate small amount of measured food(protein) which normally I start devouring so much more afterwards..... & nothing.... no continuous uncontrolled appetite. I almost feel sleepy... :)
I might make progress this week!!!
[Goal] Anyone else not want to look “skinny”? My ed has been rebranded into a fake obsession with health.
/u/trapped_underrice
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:44:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ql8xs/anyone_else_not_want_to_look_skinny_my_ed_has/
---
In the beginning of my ed, I wanted to look like thinspo. That was the goal, my North Star. That was 5 years ago, and after being forced into recovery and being forced to stop doing cardio for a while, my obsession kind of changed.
I’ve rebranded my ED behavior as “health” and I’m a health and wellness major, on my way to becoming a personal trainer.
All I think about is food. The binges never stopped. The purging never stopped. Everything just looks different now.
0-1,200 calories turned to 1,500-1,700 calories or I have a panic attack.
I never stop thinking about food. Instead of trying to eat as little as possible, it’s turned into trying to perfectly hit every macro and micro nutrient. I obsessively meal prep. I’ve been eating the same thing every day for a month now because it fits my macros so perfectly.
And when I don’t adhere to my meal prep? Any deviation from this is catastrophic. Instant binge & purge. Instant. If I’m forced to go out to eat you bet your ass I’m looking ahead of time at the menu and trying to plan. And even then, I still might binge.
Obsession with cardio and counting burned calories turned to strength training, never missing a workout and feeling super down if I didn’t make a lift. I do powerlifting instead of cross country.
I no longer want to look like thinspo, I want to look like a size xs fitness model with a thigh gap, abs, collar bones and a huge ass (think gymshark girl).
[Help] Laxatives and chest pain???
/u/cookiecutterhands [5'4 | 118 | 20.3 | -37lbs | f]
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:37:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ql76p/laxatives_and_chest_pain/
---
I ate a tiny portion of steamed broccoli and white rice earlier, the only thing I could get down in 4 days, and immediately slammed four laxatives afterwords, and now I keep feeling like my heart is skipping a beat every now and again. It takes my breath away and I'm kinda nervous about it lol. Is this a related thing or??
[Help] Calling all high restrictors!
/u/fgsn [4'11 | CW: 107.2 lbs| GW: 80lbs | F23]
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:22:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ql33g/calling_all_high_restrictors/
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I REALLY want to get into high restriction but I feel like I just need someone to talk me into it.
Basically I HATE who I am when I'm hungry. My anxiety goes into overdrive and I become a mean, bitter person.
By high restriction, I'm talking about eating at a 250 - 500 calorie deficit. My TDEE is usually anywhere from 1500 - 2200, depending on my work schedule. This leaves me eating anywhere from 1200 - 1800ish.
Will I still lose? Is high restricting worth it? Is my eating even disordered if I high restrict? Do you prefer high restriction to low restriction? If so, why?
I gained 3 pounds since yesterday so fuck me I guess
/u/vicious__trollop [5'0" | CW: 110 | GW: 90 | 21f]
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:18:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ql29i/i_gained_3_pounds_since_yesterday_so_fuck_me_i/
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I've been super careful about counting all my calories this week and eating 700-900 cals but somehow I weigh 3 lbs more today than I did yesterday so I guess I'll just go kms now 🙃
DAE find it hard to grocery shop because they just end up bingeing everything they bought?
/u/PomegranateObsessor
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:14:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ql146/dae_find_it_hard_to_grocery_shop_because_they/
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I went two weeks without groceries bc of no time to go get them. And then I was like “okay I’m gonna go buy healthy foods & keep them so my OMAD can be something that’s cheaper/not fast food. But as soon as I have all the food in the fridge I just want to eat it all. I literally used to have such self control & now I don’t. I feel like a fake anorexic because I do so well half the time & then I binge half the time so I never lose weight. I just want to be thin :(
I’m pregnant and gaining weight like crazy
/u/DasLetzteMadchen
Created: Mon Oct 22 21:08:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkzep/im_pregnant_and_gaining_weight_like_crazy/
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I just need some advice and support. Last year, I had achieved my ultimate goal weight of 105 pounds at 5’5” tall, I was so fucking skinny and happy and DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. But this year, I couldn’t help but indulge in some junk food, after all, I had been restricting for about 2 years. But of course, I slowly started gaining weight.
I got up to a disgusting 130 when I found out I was pregnant. This wasn’t planned, but I’m 32 and always wanted to be a mother, and I’m happy that pregnancy came easily for me. But God damn! I can’t stop eating! I’m up to 137 today and I’m almost as big as I was at my biggest! I can’t be that big again! But how can I restrict the way I used to when I don’t want to hurt the baby??
I’m planning on dieting in a slow, safe, healthy, and gradual way (ugh!), but I look like a fucking mini Jabba the Hutt right now, and at this rate I’m gonna be full-blown real Jabba later. Fml.
Does anyone else meal prep, but if they eat something off their diet they completely save all of the “good” food that they meal prepped for another day?
/u/trapped_underrice
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:55:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkw38/does_anyone_else_meal_prep_but_if_they_eat/
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So I work out and lift weights, and I meticulously plan everything I’m going to eat on Sundays. Like everything goes in it’s tubberwear, all weighed out and written. When I’m doing well, I literally just eat out of my tubberwears and get enough protein and lose weight! Everything is great. I lift, feel pretty good and start to look better.
Then...I binge.
And if I binge, that’s it for my meal prep. I’ll save it for another day and just fuck the rest of the day. It sucks, because I know the foods that I make and prepare are healthy as fuck but I feel bad about “wasting” them after I’ve binged!
Anyone else do that?
Also on topic of meal prep, what do you guys prepare?! So far my favorites are “taco” bowls (ground chicken, taco seasoning, bell peppers and onions) and chilli with chicken instead of beef and tons of beans.
About to purge this insane binge :)))
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:52:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkv8z/about_to_purge_this_insane_binge/
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Had a mcchicken (350?), quarter lb.r burger(550? idk), chips and sourcream(umm gonna guess 200), shitty cold mashed potatos (150), microwaved shitty orange chicken(500), and this latte thing (150??)
boutta purge this shit and just need some positive energy 😞
[Help] I ate what i thought was a decent amount of food in the span of an hour last night and now my stomach feels so full, I have no appetite. I spent all day trying to use the bathroom and it won’t come out
/u/seedlesssunflower
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:44:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkswd/i_ate_what_i_thought_was_a_decent_amount_of_food/
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Sorry for the TMI. Y’all know how I love those chow mein dinner things. I had two in one sitting and kind of had to force myself to eat the second one. Hours later I wake up to a pain in my stomach. So I drank water and went back to sleep.
Today I spent all day in bed hoping for this to pass but now the pain has moved to lower in my stomach. I tried to eat something small and I just couldn’t do it.
Last summer I had a similar issue minus the pain before and decided to take some lax. I ended up in the ER because the laxatives were making my stomach go crazy but wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom. So I’m trying to stick it out without laxatives but this hurts :\
Anybody deal with anything similar before?
[Discussion] Dizzy
/u/ThatzShynee
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:42:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qksme/dizzy/
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Not sure if this is the right tag? but guys I’m so dizzy. I ate 2 breadsticks but I’m still super dizzy. I want to take a bath but I don’t know if I should or not
[Discussion] What are your go to filling meals?
/u/happy_but_unhappy [5'9 |CW 118.8 | 17.5 | GW 110]
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:31:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkpip/what_are_your_go_to_filling_meals/
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Okay so I'm hard-core restricting tomorrow and need some voluminous food or else I'll go insane... what's your favourite low calorie meals?
[Help] Looking for reassurance; this is destroying me.
/u/robotsintrees [5'6 | 85.2lbs| 13.6 | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:30:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkpds/looking_for_reassurance_this_is_destroying_me/
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Last night, my partner made us dinner; sesame peanut udon noodle vegetable stir fry with seitan ("wheat meat") and an egg. My partner is overweight, and it's painfully obvious he eats too much. He's also watched me kill myself with anorexia for 9 years, and is terrified for my life. He served himself a relatively small portion, leaving me with \~2cups of udon noodles, a full protein serving of seitain, plus the egg, and a ridiculous amount of peanut butter, sesame oil, and vegetable oil, in addition to a shit ton of sodium (soy sauce + bouillion). Even my legit meal plan doesn't need that much. I had portioned it out properly, but... well, this is a meal that my partner used to make for us frequently, and I really enjoy it, and we had planned for him to make it tonight. It tasted amazing and I knew I wouldn't be having it again for a while, so I ate the whole remaining serving. We're talking 1400\~1500kcal, loads of fat and sodium, and no activity on my [part.](https://part.My) My intake at the end of the day was \~1700kcal, while I usually get 1100\~1300kcal. I've been trying to justify it all day, and I've been terrified to eat. I had a banana this morning to help my stomach, tried to drink a lot of water and herbal/green/white tea, and had a bowl of pumpkin oatmeal for dinner. I know I need to eat more, but I don't know what, and I feel I need to restrict today to compensate for yesterday. But I don't want to stay less than 90 pounds. I don't want to stay in the grips of the eating disorder. I know realistically I haven't eaten enough of a surplus to actually put on weight. Water weight from sodium, temporary food weight, but my average calorie intake for the week is only \~1200.
Any comments would be cool, thanks.
[Help] Got any advice how to stop purging? Or binge-eating? Asking for a friend :)
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:18:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qklza/got_any_advice_how_to_stop_purging_or_bingeeating/
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I posted recently about how I started purging again after 78 days purge-free (something I was so proud of). Well, since then, I've binged and purged everyday. The cycle of self-hatred continues.
I really want to go back to how I was for those 78 days. Calorie restriction, max 1200 per day. A number normal enough to make me think I was getting better. I still did IF, had binge days, and fasted following those binges rather than purge. But it was an improvement, and I was actually losing weight for the first time in months.
But a few days ago, I purged again. And again. I don't know how to stop. I feel like a monster when I'm like this. I'm bloated, my cheeks and jaw are like a chubby Chucky doll, I've got acid reflux...but this doesn't stop me from doing it. I don't know how to get back to how I was before. I felt in control, now, I've got none.
So I'm asking for advice on how to break the cycle (again), but also writing this to let it out. I haven't told anyone about my ED. I don't want to. I'm a secretive bitch who can tell lies as easy as breathing, and make plausible excuses to anything. But I need to talk to someone, and strangers on the internet are all I've got.
Any advice? Sometimes, it's a sentence, an insight, some kind of revelation from someone else that gets me back on track. Would love to hear yours.
[Rant/Rave] binging on the brain (vent, prob gross)
/u/OneEyedOneHorned [No gender kthnx]
Created: Mon Oct 22 20:00:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkh5x/binging_on_the_brain_vent_prob_gross/
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I've been googling all of the buffet places in the surrounding 30 miles for the last couple of hours. Chinese food, pizza, chicken, wings, sushi, unlimited pasta, pancakes... I want it and I feel horrible for wanting it. I want a mountain of 3 star Chinese food so badly. I want it to make me sick because I deserve food poisoning for being a fat disgusting pig.
[Rant/Rave] Being cheated on is apparently great for weight loss. Almost -15 in the past 4 days.
/u/cookiecutterhands
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:59:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkgrl/being_cheated_on_is_apparently_great_for_weight/
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https://i.redd.it/3y6fgdo3eut11.jpg
c/s - feeling full?
/u/allsowild
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:48:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qkdu8/cs_feeling_full/
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I've been chewing and spitting pretty regularly for a while now. Just did some research and apparently it causes insulin levels to spike and you end up hungrier than before? This seems kind of odd to me, because whenever I c/s I end up feeling really full. Does anyone think it's due to how I c/s? I chew and spit (completely avoiding swallowing), then I rinse my mouth with water (spitting it out). After I'm done I drink a lot of water/diet soda to kinda give the illusion that I ate I guess. Am I feeling full because of the liquids I drink? Because I'm currently quite fearful that I've been ingesting calories all this while which is what I fear is making me feel full... Thanks :)
It's my 1st time not binging on a trigger food to the point that I hate myself!
/u/kriddybiddy
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:31:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qk8zw/its_my_1st_time_not_binging_on_a_trigger_food_to/
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I'm still headed straight to the gym to burn those pretzels right off for the night ❤ but I fucking did it.
Found out my biggest binge trigger: thinking I’m skinny already
/u/letgoor [5'6 | 130 |GW: 120ish| F |add me on peach if u wanna b friends:)]
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:23:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qk6vt/found_out_my_biggest_binge_trigger_thinking_im/
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After 1 month binge-free and successfully dropping 10lbs down to my “safe weight” (130 lbs) I binged.
I feel gross, but I wondered, why is it that any time I get down to a “low enough” weight (in my mind), I mess it all up?
I realized what triggers me to binge the most:
Thinking I’m “skinny enough” already and can “afford to binge.” This is why, anytime I’m “feeling myself” or feeling cute, I start slipping. Eating an extra 100 cal here or there, having a maintenance day, or like today, binging.
It’s not okay. Even if it’s damaging to my mental health in the short-term, I need to convince myself that I’m gross at 130 lbs.
If I don’t, I’ll keep binging and not sticking to my goals. Which will only make me binge/restrict forever. I just need to restrict well, lose 10 lbs, and slowly get up to maintenance calories. AND NOT BINGE. Ever. Again.
When I got down to 122 two years ago, I avoided the scale for days and in my mind, convinced myself I was still fat. That’s what kept me restricting. It wasn’t until a couple of months later that I realized I was small.
Anyone else can relate to this? I feel like I just need to avoid mirrors and pictures, and even the scale, until i lose 10 lbs.
[Rant/Rave] Someone make me stop
/u/nymphlotus [64in | 157 | 26.9 | -23lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:12:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qk3ow/someone_make_me_stop/
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I have not cared about what I ate for the last week or so. Like every day I've not eaten at work, the either gotten fast food or a meal from a store and ate before my boyfriend got home, then ate again when he had dinner.
Honestly, I can't say for sure if it's been truly binging. I definitely have been eating a full meal as fast as possible am and it's been painful.
But I want to stop. I feel like I have no control even though I don't think I've truly been binging (aka like 3000 calories in one sitting or something.)
Why am I like this? Mostly just needed to vent because wtf, me?
[Discussion] OMAD experiences?
/u/j4ckson
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:11:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qk39e/omad_experiences/
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What are your experiences in terms of weight loss & mental state while doing OMAD? Anything I should be wary of? I’ve read up on it I just want personal experiences also Xx
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] so apparently bread is no longer safe
/u/happy_but_unhappy [5'9 |CW 118.8 | 17.5 | GW 110]
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:10:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qk36o/rant_so_apparently_bread_is_no_longer_safe/
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Eughhhhhhhhh guys. I swear to god everything I enjoy isn't safe anymore to the point I have to buy food I don't really enjoy so I don't binge. I swear to god everytime I buy a loaf of bread I eat the whole loaf in a day. What is actually wrong with me fml. Back to oats for breakfast I guess :/
[Other] Does anyone else have songs that basically mean, “Oop, I’m in trouble?”
/u/remmyowlbean
Created: Mon Oct 22 19:02:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qk0ym/does_anyone_else_have_songs_that_basically_mean/
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I have a few, Maria Mena- Eyesore and Queen Adreena - My silent undoing.
They are just songs I listened to a lot when I was at the peak of my ED. I try to avoid them now.
...totally not listening to them right now.
[Rant/Rave] Its not an eating disorder, its a lack of self control.
/u/ch1ckmunk
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:50:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjxgm/its_not_an_eating_disorder_its_a_lack_of_self/
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I have a big exam tomorrow. I was sitting there studying, I told myself I would study for 2 hours, when I saw the Halloween candy sitting next to me.
"I'll just have one piece" I thought, half knowing that was a lie.
One turned into 5.
"Fuck it, I'm already like 500 over my calorie limit, why not"
Next thing I know I'm purging my candy, and my dinner, and now I'm sitting here thinking about it instead of studying for my exam.
If I had just a little more self control, I wouldn't do this.
[Rant/Rave] Oh boy oh boy i feel fuckin fat!
/u/WashiiTape [🌻 Height: 5'4 | CW: 119 | BMI: 19.4 | Gender: F 🌻]
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:49:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjx5t/oh_boy_oh_boy_i_feel_fuckin_fat/
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Ughhhh i went shopping with my wife and i noticed she wears a size small and i wear a medium. I feel awful. I adore my wife and shes beautiful but..... im so jealous of her sometimes. shes so beautiful and i look like a sleep deprived walrus that lives in a bathtub of grease. Yikes.
[Goal] Gonna go officially sign up for a gym. Wish me luck.
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:32:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjsi5/gonna_go_officially_sign_up_for_a_gym_wish_me_luck/
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Even though I try to deny it sometimes, it’s hard for me to get out of the house...
Which may be partially due to the fact that getting ready is such a chore... but still, even when somewhat done up, I get anxious and overthink in public :/
Gyms have always scared me. I’ve gone here and there, but still overthink at them.
“hurrr no one is looking at you they just want a workout” lol k but no that’s not true. People are often examining their surroundings everywhere. By that logic you can say “kids don’t care that much about you to pick on you at school they are too busy with schoolwork and their own friends durrr”
Alas, I want to have a seemingly safe indoor spot to workout.
Wish me luck yall. 😣
[Rant/Rave] was around two weeks purge free.
/u/gayspaceson [5'5 | ♀ | CW:123 | HW:135 | GW:110]
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:29:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjrpf/was_around_two_weeks_purge_free/
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am no longer around two weeks purge free. i'd been doing heavy restricting (net <500kcal) mondays and tuesdays and light restricting (net <1200kcal) for the rest of the days in the week. it was working well and i'd gotten solidly down 5 pounds. the fat sitting on my ribs started to thin ever so slightly. then my dad came home, made microwave popcorn, and the smell drove me mad. i wasn't even hungry. i shouldn't have done it. but i microwaved and devoured a whole bag. then threw it all up.
whoopee.
[Help] I can’t stop crying because I’m gross
/u/softdyke
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:16:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjnug/i_cant_stop_crying_because_im_gross/
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I feel so shit and I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough
Salt?
/u/gatetosarahlex
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:16:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjnrp/salt/
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Anyone put salt in water when doing a longer fast? I'm doing good and on like hr 48 but always wondering if salt would help the electrolyte situation. Even tho it scares me
You’re forgiven more easily if you’re beautiful
/u/xflumex
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:12:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjmnz/youre_forgiven_more_easily_if_youre_beautiful/
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I know that’s not exactly true. But it’s what I believe.
My boyfriends ex was anorexic and soooo beautiful. And she cheated on him multiple times and was so abusive towards him. Which breaks my heart. But he always forgave her. He never left her. She left him for another guy. And even after that, it too my bf (4) FOUR YEARS to get over her. And even though I know my bf is extremely insecure and she was his first gf, I still convince myself he never left because she was skinny. Because she was anorexic and beautiful broken. It’s so fucked up, I hate having this mindset.
terrified that i'm going to binge myself back to a healthy weight
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:09:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjlo5/terrified_that_im_going_to_binge_myself_back_to_a/
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tw suicidal thoughts
i made a post about this already but fuuuck my life??? i was 96 pounds on friday, binged a ton over the weekend and was 102 when i got back to my scale. i just broke a 41 hour fast with a 2k+ calorie binge and now i'm fucking 105. i'm heartbroken and i want to cry. i don't know how to fix this. i haven't been 105 in weeks and i legitimately want to kill myself and it's taking everything i have not to jump off the roof of my building. i don't know what the fuck i'm supposed to do, i'm so scared that i'm going to binge tomorrow and the cycle will continue and i'll binge my way back up to 130 where i started. being over 100 pounds makes me legitimately suicidal and oh god i want to kill myself i legitimately want to kill myself i fucked up so bad i was so fucking close to my goal i want to die i want to die i want to die
[Help] How many calories in steamed Asian chicken and vegetable potstickers?
/u/lxelan4862
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:05:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjkey/how_many_calories_in_steamed_asian_chicken_and/
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I'm going crazy searching up the number of calories only to find a wide range of numbers. They're about thumb's length and steamed (I triple checked). I'm not sure what brand they are as I was over at a friend's party and I had to look "normal" by eating something. They were the "lowest-calorie"-appearing food available, but any aid is welcome!!
I lost 60 lbs, then gained 40. Why am I like this.
/u/politesse
Created: Mon Oct 22 18:04:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjk7g/i_lost_60_lbs_then_gained_40_why_am_i_like_this/
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The worst part is that I'm very visible to the public and see everyone in town all the time, and they aren't afraid to make comments on whatever my weight is. I just want to be left alone. I just want to feel good about myself.
What do you like about your body?
/u/OkWorking7 [171cm| CW 54.7kg | 18.6 | GW 52 | UGW 50 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:56:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjhmf/what_do_you_like_about_your_body/
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Since I think we spend a lot of time hating our bodies I thought it would be nice to do a thread where we mention one thing we like.
Mine is that even though I’m only 5’6 I look a lot taller. Weird but yeah everyone always thinks I’m 5’8 or 5’9
[Rant/Rave] im starting to notice that a lot of my clothes are way bigger on me now than from when i bought them
/u/impractically-me
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:51:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjfz3/im_starting_to_notice_that_a_lot_of_my_clothes/
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like most of my clothes are starting to get too big on me im noticing. like my leggings are able to be pushed up more, sweatshirts are way longer & more oversized then i remember, sweaters fall down my shoulders which they didnt used to, etc. its kinda annoying actually, but at least it keeps me a little warmer because ive been getting so cold lately with the weather turning colder
Military diet?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 99 | GW: 88]
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:49:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjfe6/military_diet/
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Has anyone done it? It looks interesting and not as extreme as some other weird kpop diets. Also, its only for 3 days.
I want to try it, but the lack of snacks throws me off.
[Help] Cut off all my friends in the past few years because i have been so messed up all the time, need advice
/u/coffee-vanilla [F | 5’9 | CW:150 GW:130]
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:45:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjeic/cut_off_all_my_friends_in_the_past_few_years/
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I’ve been struggling with an ED for close to 4 years now (im 20). The moment that triggered it was the moment i went to college and my soccerteam was discontinued. I lost all of my friends after highschool. I made new friends in college but after 2 years had to drop out due to health issues (partly related to my ED).
I moved back in with my mom which is fine since im only 20 but i feel so lost. I currently have 1 friend. Theres no one else i can talk to besides him and my mom. My ED made me a complete loner, i cut everyone off (and not in a nice way). I lost all interest in life besides losing weight even when im currently at a healthy weight. I just got fired at my job at the supermarket because i called in sick too often in the past few weeks and most of the time i did it because i felt too ashamed/fat to go out.
So what im really asking for is advice on how to make new friends in a small town where everyone has their own group of friends? How do i get a social life again? Should i work on myself first?
[Rant/Rave] My roommate’s parents called me ”fat” in Chinese right in front of me
/u/ricemask [5'6" | HW:155 | UGW: 100 | 20F | 🍑: riceemask]
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:43:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjdyg/my_roommates_parents_called_me_fat_in_chinese/
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I like how blunt they were. My mom had Chinese friends, we shopped in Chinese markets growing up, and I’m not fucking deaf either. This is the same Chinese roommate that literally tells me how depressed she is because she can’t find clothes that will fit her size 0 body and that everyone is fat. She even says she’s fat infront of me.
Anyways she’s been literally non-stop triggering and if I knew her parents were going to say that shit, I would of not let them in my space or I would of left to go somewhere else.
I know she’s new to the US, and if I tell her to stop she’ll just justify that in China there are no people in my size or that a bigger size isn’t an insult but just a sign of bad health.
I just want to be left alone and cry.
When restricting <1200 how do y'all balance your macros?
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:43:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjdv6/when_restricting_1200_how_do_yall_balance_your/
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Lately I've been feeling a little tired and weak and it's taken longer than usual to recover from even a cardio workout, even though I haven't been restricting that low. I had a look at my MFP nutrients and decided I'm getting far too little protein. (i basically live off apples, steamed vegies, the occasional boiled egg, the cabbage/tofu salad that is my sole safe food for eating out, and of course coffee+almond milk)
I want to start aiming for at least 50g of protein a day. But I'm torn as to how to divide my other macros. I've read that people who go either low carb or low fat see better results than a more balanced approach. It would probably be easiest for me with my current diet to go HCLF... But what counts as low fat? 20% of your intake? Less? (going by the MFP setup here).
Anyway, let me know your thoughts and experiences on the subject :)
Laxative TMI
/u/AtypANA [5'9|CW 196.8|HW 220|LW 120|(F)GQ🏳️🌈]
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:35:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qjbgz/laxative_tmi/
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I took a laxative for the first time because I was concerned I haven't gone much in the last 2 weeks. And y'alllll how do you deal with abusing this, it's so uncomfortable and weird. I mean i can't judge with the weird shit I do... But ugh I can't wait for this to be out of my system.
[Discussion] What was the largest amount of weight you've lost in a short amount of time?
/u/thestarvingaries
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:21:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qj7mx/what_was_the_largest_amount_of_weight_youve_lost/
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Simply curious.
No clue if it's hormonal or to do with increased cardio but I'm constantly hungry recently. At first it was terrifying but now it's helping me fast...
/u/bangsofsteel2 [5"3/BMI 19ish/ (made a new account)]
Created: Mon Oct 22 17:21:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qj7ey/no_clue_if_its_hormonal_or_to_do_with_increased/
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...Because if I'm going to be hungry either way then what's the point of eating right? Honestly what used to slow my weight loss was having an extra 100-200 calories because it *would* stop me being starving hungry when restricting. Now there is literally no point. I gave into it last week, ate over 2k and still felt the hungry. There is literally no point.
Anyone else found hunger spikes motivating?
[Discussion] Let’s talk soup!!🍲
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:118 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:54:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qiz7r/lets_talk_soup/
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It’s soup weather! Tell me your favorite canned soups to buy. Feel free to give me recipes if there’s a soup you absolutely love to make.
With this colder weather a soup thread sounds lovely.
[Discussion] Some ramblings about what I deserve.
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS [5'6 |CW:162.2 | GW: 130 |F 19]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:52:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qiysh/some_ramblings_about_what_i_deserve/
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Sorry in advance that this is long and rambly.
Something that has been weighing (lol) on my mind lately is the concept of me deserving something.
It’s come to my attention that the only way I will ever have the body I want is if I love myself enough as I am right now to get there.
All of the big plans I have about how I’ll dress, how I’ll look, how I’ll act when I’m finally “skinny” are things I should be doing right now.
I dress like shit right now because “I don’t deserve” to look cute right now. And that started me on a long soul search about wondering what I actually owe myself.
One of the most prevalent places I see someone say “you deserve this” is with food.
“It’s been a long day, I deserve this chocolate bar.”
“I ate good all week, I deserve this cake”
“This is the only thing I’m going to eat today so I deserve to make it count and load it up with cheese”
Always shit like that.
This might come off a little critical, but I also see it from tumblr accounts or insta accounts that are pro-overweight; “you deserve nourishment. You deserve to eat that slice of pizza. You deserve to eat that cake and fuck the haters you’ve earned it”
But to be honest, I’ve realized that that is such bullshit.
My Body deserves protein and vegetables.
My mind deserves less self hatred.
My lungs deserve less appetite killing cigarettes.
My muscles deserve a hard workout so they can reach their full potential.
My organs deserve fresh water and not my 7th Diet Coke of the day.
My self image deserves clean, nicely painted nails with a ring on each finger and clothes that fit me without straining against a bloated body.
All this time I’ve been feeling like shit because I thought I deserved to feel like shit until the one day I reach my goal weight and magically the doors of self love and happiness would open up and wash over me.
In reality, I don’t fucking deserve any stress food or greasy food in general. I deserve to be uncomfortable right now as I work hard to achieve healthy goals.
I’ve been treating my body, the only thing that will ever 100% be mine until the day I die, like shit. Punishing it because it isn’t perfect.
I can wear cute rings right now.
I can wear my goal outfits but in a size or two larger than what I hope for.
And THAT is what I fucking deserve.
[Rant/Rave] Will I ever reach my goal weight
/u/throwaway__1893
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:51:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qiy9v/will_i_ever_reach_my_goal_weight/
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I ballooned this after eating like a normal person and I feel ugly and like I’ll never reach 95-105. I hate being in this body, it disgusts me. The weekends always fuck me over. I do all that work and fuck it up. I wanted to be 105 by early December but it doesn’t look like that’ll happened. I hate myself.
Got popped for a DUI
/u/DahliaDubonet [INTERNAL SOBS]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:49:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qixtj/got_popped_for_a_dui/
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And even then couldn’t help the flood of pride when they asked me the last time I ate and said “two days ago.”
Stay safe, everyone.
[Discussion] ouch lol
/u/broketreebranch
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:30:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qirh0/ouch_lol/
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Something weird happened to me this morning. After I woke up I was doing my usual body checks when I sucked in my stomach so forcefully it kind of got hooked/pinched under my rib cage?? It was a brief sharp pain. I've never had that happen before it felt really weird lol. Has anyone else ever had that happen??
[Rant/Rave] How to feel huge and flabby- H&M fitting room lighting
/u/smolcal
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:28:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qiqo2/how_to_feel_huge_and_flabby_hm_fitting_room/
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You feeling good about yourself today? You have been sticking to your diet lately and decide to treat yourself and get some new clothes. You grab a nice looking jacket and a few pairs of pants and go to the fitting room at H&M. You undress and look in the mirror.
you FREEZE.
Who is this flabby soft piece of lard full of cellulite staring back at u in the mirror?? Oh wait it’s u
Fuck H&M fitting room lighting it’s the absolute worst it highlights every little imperfection and ugh I actually felt so good about myself before that
I know this is weird to post here but do you guys want a coupon for free water?
/u/lonelysweetpotato [5'7 | CW:cry | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:22:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qioqa/i_know_this_is_weird_to_post_here_but_do_you_guys/
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Polar sent me a coupon today for a free 1L bottle of their seltzer. It expires TODAY so i'm not going to be able to use it but maybe you guys can.
http://polarseltzer.com/PolarVIP_Offer.pdf
Link to find it near you: https://polarseltzer.com/find/
[Rant/Rave] I paid the price for my binging
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 117.8 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:19:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qio0r/i_paid_the_price_for_my_binging/
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A few days ago I posted about a bad binge day. Well it kind of turned into a binge weekend.
I was at 117.8 on Thursday and now I’m 121 on the dot today. Four pounds in four days. I had reached my goal and now I’ve completely lost it. I haven’t had a solid bowel movement in forever so I just ate a Fiber One bar (tacking on another 140 calories 🙃) hoping I can just shit everything out and get back down.
I’m so devastated.
[Rant/Rave] Stopped binge eating & fit into my goal jeans
/u/griffinruns
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:18:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qingt/stopped_binge_eating_fit_into_my_goal_jeans/
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https://i.redd.it/d5nb66clatt11.jpg
[Help] Someone give me ideas for a binge
/u/Soybeansandsprouts [🍉5'5|109|GW:105🍌]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:14:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qimei/someone_give_me_ideas_for_a_binge/
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I’m walking around like a freakin ghost here. My entire month has been devoted to writing this NSF fellowship application and I know I won’t get it because am dumb and nothing compared to all the other applicants so why the hell did I spend so much time on who freaking knows.
It was due today so I turned in what I had which was shitty and unpolished because i goofed real bad like that. Nothing new. I thought I would be so relieved after spending all of the past 3 weeks on it. No I can to start focusing on other things like the classes I love so much but nope. I’ve bottled in so much during this process that I want to scream and cry and eat terrible food. What makes you feel good? I’ve been shaking with tension headaches for the past week because of this damn application. Help I just want to feel normal for a few hours :(
How do I take sudafed and is it good?
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:13:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qilzj/how_do_i_take_sudafed_and_is_it_good/
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I got a box of sudafed today. It comes with 10 pills and it's 240mg each. Does it hold back appetite just as well as ephedrine? And what is the ratio I should take with a caffeine pill? I'm a little bit scared because there's only 10 pills in this box
Do you ever just feel like you're short a few brain cells?
/u/mpjcx
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:07:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qikao/do_you_ever_just_feel_like_youre_short_a_few/
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Sometimes when a particularly disordered thought passes through my brain, I can recognise that it is batshit insane. But I still 100% believe it whole heartedly!! Like earlier, I was thinking about the fact that I don't trust that the amount of calories in things stays the same over time - basically, if I eat exactly 350 cals at say.. 1pm, somehow I believe that by 4pm it was magically grew to 600cals. My brain genuinely, 100% gaslights itself on how many calories I consumed. Am I fucking crazy? Well, yes. But am I the ONLY fucking crazy one?
Hi hello i wanna die
/u/Arkhamgel [Height | 173| 27.7 | +22 | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 22 16:07:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qik2o/hi_hello_i_wanna_die/
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I'm 21, still live with my folks. In February I started hrt which they are not happy about. Then a week ago, I got a tattoo for my birthday, which sent them over the edge. I'm now virtually dead to my mother and my dad just told me I need to look for a place of my own. I make about 300€ (let's say 350$) per month, which is not nearly enough to pay rent and support myself. I can't work more hours bc otherwise I would completely jeopardize my chances to graduate uni (I know my studying abillities). Nobody speaks to me at home, but he said that they would not throw me out, and that as long as I stay I'd have food and a bed, but he made it clear they want me out.
I'm gonna maje some calls tomorrow, see what I can do, but tonight I'm staring at the ceiling wondering how a tattoo that doesn't affect them (it's a frog. Litterally just a frog on my upper forearm) could lend me in such a position.
Sorry, I just needed to vent, and you're the only sub I feel comfortable posting this on
Do y'all go though plateaus? I'll lose 3-4 pounds in one week and the next I struggle to lose 1 even though I eat the same.
/u/Emily_BRrealtor
Created: Mon Oct 22 15:40:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qibnk/do_yall_go_though_plateaus_ill_lose_34_pounds_in/
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Kinda sorta but not really but mildly related to my ED (WARNING: GROSS)
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | CW (Fat) | LW (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Mon Oct 22 15:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qial8/kinda_sorta_but_not_really_but_mildly_related_to/
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K. Typing this out in between winces and gags, so if I spell something wrong, that's why. I'm literally shaking rn. Just gonna preface this with the fact that I just got back from vigourously brusjhing my teeth out and swishing mouthwash a couple times. Storytime:
My mom was sitting in a position in the kitchen where I couldn't sneak food out without her seeing. I was so hungry and wanted to binge on some chcolate or some shit, so I decided to slink around the house, digging through some junk in the house to try and find something to eat. I open a little box in the living room. FUCKING SCORE!! Some little chocolate balls in a tin; inspect it briefly to find it wrapped in plastic. Looks perfectly fine, but probably kind of really old. Like REALLY old. I creep into my upstairs bathroom, tearing the wrappers open and stuffing my dumbfuck face. I keep feeling something kinda powdery or weird texture like *rubbery?* Quarter of the way into the container, I finally have the idea to look into the container...
..to see, being rubbed between my fingers, what I thought was just some of the chocolate covering turning into powder and drying out, some little capsule looking things. I take a closer look and OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKNOFUCKOHFUCKNO.
It's a goddamn larva shell. Like a bug. Bugs have gotten into the fucking candy that I've been stuffing my face with for the past 5 minutes.
...
I'm not entirely sure if that was actually it because I closed it up very quickly after, but I'm pretty damn sure I know what I saw and I'm not gonna venture another look in there. FUCK. I'm gonna be sick. UGH.
I mean, at the very least, the experience DID curb my appetite...
Tl;dr, if binging on old/antique food, check inside the container and make sure that ONLY the food purported to be on the inside of the container is inside the container. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Peace out, stay safe. Not really sure what this post was for, but needed to get it out somewhere. FUCK.
[Rant/Rave] saw my ex today, major trigger
/u/orangeinfusedbanana [15F | 5’8 | UGW: 100 | fat bitch :^)]
Created: Mon Oct 22 15:20:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qi5c9/saw_my_ex_today_major_trigger/
---
i don’t care how pathetic i sound but i want him back and i cannot wait for him to see how skinny i got since he broke up with me :’)
[Rant/Rave] I’m a size 2????
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 134.4 | 19 | -47 lbs | F22]
Created: Mon Oct 22 15:07:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qi0w7/im_a_size_2/
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I just had the most body dismorphic moment of my life. I was shopping in Guess, and I wanted to buy this adorable skirt.. the sales lady asked what size I thought I needed and I immediately replied, “maybe an 8? Or 6?” since that’s what sizes I figured I’d be now.. So, she goes to get me sizes and goes, “I got you a 6, and a 2.” And I was like, omg she must be kidding I’m not going to be able to get the 2 over my thighs, let alone zipped up. I’m thinking she’s like low key making fun of me at this point by bringing me the 2 because she’s also skinny. This skirt was a leather skirt with a full front zip so absolutely NO give to the fabric, right?? I go to the fitting room, thinking I’m about to cry when I try to put on a 2.. and it fit. Perfectly. Absolutely fit like a glove and I had a moment of clarity of what I really look like. I wanted to cry for new reasons.. I was so happy. What the fuck. I thought I was so far from being that size??? Even the sales lady can see my size, and I can’t? ... just another day in my crazy ED life. Guess this is just more fuel to keep up the eating habits.
What’s on your shopping list?
/u/GameofLoans16 [5'2.5'' | Too high | Too high | Not enough | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhyai/whats_on_your_shopping_list/
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Mine includes celery, cauliflower, thyme, magnesium, seltzer water, cabbage, and almond milk.
ED with OCD?
/u/tipsytoess
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:56:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhxfz/ed_with_ocd/
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Does anyone else get obsessions and compulsions that aren't food related? Like yes I have to count calories and yes I got triggered and lost 20 pounds in a month but also I have to take a bath 3 times a day. Clean my hands and fingernails obsessively. Things like that. I also have irrational fears and thoughts that really bother me that aren't food related like I suddenly get terrified that I'm going to be hit by a stray bullet or that I'm going to be in a car wreck. Now I'm wondering what came first, my ED or OCD?
[Discussion] separating yourself from your disorder- does it help or hurt?
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:31:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhozj/separating_yourself_from_your_disorder_does_it/
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anyone who's been around ED spaces on the internet for long enough knows about the whole 'my friend Ana/Mia' thing. personally, i've always kinda cringed at that? i've read too much tumblr/MPA shit where people used to worship Goddess Ana or whatever the fuck that even just seeing someone shorten anorexia to 'ana' makes me shudder a bit. personally, my disorder isn't a person who tells me to not eat or to throw up whatever i did eat. my disorder isn't a separate entity altogether, it's just me. i hold myself accountable for my own thoughts and compulsions, and i don't know if that helps or hurts. i know it's a coping mechanism for some people to say that their disordered thoughts are just 'ana' or 'mia' or 'ed' talking, but self-hatred is so natural for me that i can't even pretend it's something else making me think the way i do. i'm not sure if this post is even coherent but yeah, i guess i just want some other perspectives on this.
[Rant/Rave] They’re putting me on Prozac
/u/tentaclebarn
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhogr/theyre_putting_me_on_prozac/
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I guess this is fine but I’ve gained twelve pounds bc recovery and that’s not ideal. I feel like a trapped animal being forced to do things and gritting my teeth and going along with it bc I know it’s objectively good for me.
I wish my body could reflect who I am on the inside and it just doesn’t. Every time I see myself it feels so wrong.
[Rant/Rave] losing hair motivates me to eat less
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 140 | GW 125]
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:23:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhnac/losing_hair_motivates_me_to_eat_less/
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so i can get to gw & eat at maintenance cals faster before i lose too much.
it's probably dumb like losing hair from not eating enough so I eat less.
[Help] Calories are Confusing (and that was a lot of c's)
/u/Creative__Username__ [64"| CW: disordered | GW: Satisfied | UGW: Happy]
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:20:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhmg8/calories_are_confusing_and_that_was_a_lot_of_cs/
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So like, where do you guys set your calorie limit? I got my TDEE from [tdeecalculator.net](https://tdee.net), and at my stats (64", 113), my bmr 1,293 calories a day. so, is that my tree? I'm guessing yes, since my basic metabolic rate is how much my body burns a day, and tree is total daily energy expenditure . . . so do I burn everything I expend???
so even without all that figured out, I'm kinda guessing that my basic tdee is 1293. I exercise (run) 3x a week, usually 20-25 minutes, then walk for like a half hour to 40 minutes. based on that, the tdee calculator set my maintenance at 2,003 average calories a day.
I also know that a pound of fat is 3500 calories. eat that much more than maintenance and you gain weight, cut that and you lose weight. so, do I cut 3500 from my tdee or from my maintenance? I want to cut 500-700 a day, but right now I'm eating around 1000 a day and have no idea if I'm cutting 1000 or 300 calories.
help?
My self-esteem has vanished since I've gotten married.
/u/dearpuppy
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:07:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhi26/my_selfesteem_has_vanished_since_ive_gotten/
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I'm 21, I got married this year. I don't think my husband is attracted to me because of my (high) weight. I know logically he loves me, and he tells me he does all the time, but I'm panicking. He knew me at my thinnest when I was a teenager and 85lbs. I'm 125lbs now and 5'4''. In my mind, if I lose weight, he'll be attracted to me again... or at least worried about me.
I've used r/proED intermittently on and off for years. I thought I had gotten better. I have no-one to talk to this about irl.
I complain constantly to him about my body: how my stomach makes me look pregnant, how uncomfortable it is to walk with my thighs touching each other, the jiggle in my calves when I take a step. He doesn't see it and tells me I'm pretty and 'normal'. But I think he does see it, at least subconsciously, because we haven't had sex in months. It's killed the little self-esteem I had from before we had gotten married and I was 'recovered'. I feel guilty that I complain about this to him out of fear he'll start resenting me, and I tell him this but I don't think he understands.
I just want everyone (mostly him) to see me as tiny and fragile again.
[Other] Discharged from anorexia treatment a year ago as of today. I believe everyone has the strength to recover
/u/WintryNymph
Created: Mon Oct 22 14:05:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhhe7/discharged_from_anorexia_treatment_a_year_ago_as/
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https://i.redd.it/f1adu290nst11.jpg
Self care
/u/coldpizzainthetrash
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:55:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qhdp4/self_care/
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Putting a deep conditioner in your hair then sitting on your shower floor while the water runs to cover the sounds of your purging💅.
Lmao i am an actual mess
Help! I'm nervous my co-workers are going to figure out I have a problem.
/u/BarakaBrat [5'7 | CW: 146 | BMI: 22.79 | -214lbs | Male]
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:35:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qh6uu/help_im_nervous_my_coworkers_are_going_to_figure/
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So I've been at my job for about 3 1/2 years now, and when I started I was 360 pounds with a bmi of like 57 or something, and had a 52" waist. Fast forward to today, I'm now 146 pounds with a 29" waist and a BMI of 22. I was bulimic in high school, and thank God I never got back into the habit, but due to severe calorie restriction and exercise, I'm only 7 pounds heavier than my lowest weight.
My concern is that people will figure out about my ED. I'm already getting from almost everybody that I'm too skinny. I can't even imagine what they'll say when I'm 10 pounds lighter. What exactly do I say if people ask me if I have a problem? I don't want anyone to know. The only one who really knows is my best friend, and I want to keep it that way. How exactly do I prepare for, and avoid these issues?
[Help] How can I look after myself while restricting
/u/alonlioak
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:17:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qh0bi/how_can_i_look_after_myself_while_restricting/
---
Like. Can we talk about how scary easy it is to fast.
I’ve eaten nothing except gum (and sweetener in my coffee) and supplements; krill oil(contains B vitamins), magnesium, a probiotic, and vitamin C/Zinc for two days.(although I forgot my supps yday)I know that’s rookie numbers lol. Please note that I binged on pizza and chocolate at the weekend. consumed so so many calories and I’m at a healthy weight so I’m not about to drop lol
I feel fine. Apart from light brain fog, which I actually don’t mind! I can speak in front of a room of people way easier, my body isn’t as sharp/anxious.
Anyway I’ve seen a lot of you talk about electrolytes. That’s literally salt, right? Is drinking water with some salt helpful? What else do you guys do to mind yourselves while heavy restricting?
[Rant/Rave] Mini update on emotionally abusive ex
/u/imptea
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:14:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgzkg/mini_update_on_emotionally_abusive_ex/
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I made the mistake of unblocking him to ask what he wanted when I saw he texted me (I can still read my blocked messages). I am 99% sure it was about taking him off my PlayStation account. I tried telling him about how much he hurt me, in tears,and his reply was verbatim, "Well you can't handle the TRUTH."
He isn't making any sense any more over text and is saying things like "They call me an evil mother fucker where I come from" and he sent me a long text that when I googled it...it was a rap song. He also texted "My bad for caring too much about your health when you cant cate about your own damn self to stop drinking and eat healthy". I fell off the no drinking bandwagon and I feel so much shame for it and I feel like a fucking dog having it's shit put in it's face.
On the upside, I have lost more weight since not retaining water weight after purging. I know I am not sitting around eating like a fatass, and we are LDR so he doesn't know how little I eat. He told me I was looking good a few weeks ago after a 5 day fast while we were on "break", his orders. And today he told me "I bet you gained it all back like a fucking fatass"
My game plan is to block him and gather resources for myself to get over this emotional abuse. I don't really know where to start. I have isolated myself from friends and I'm so ashamed to open up to family. Being ldr makes it easy to cut him out but I have literally nothing to replace him with. His emotional abuse has been getting worse and worse and it's unbearable sometimes how much he psychologically manipulates me. I have barely even left my bed except to weigh and I am full of tears
[Discussion] DAE really want to maintain their feminine features?
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:06:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgwra/dae_really_want_to_maintain_their_feminine/
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I see a bunch of posts on here about how they want to lose their boobs or curves to look more androgynous, but I really want to be unrealisticly thin but still keep a bigger chest and butt. Idk.
I don’t dress very feminine as is but I like having a “wow she’s actually a girl” look whenever I wear something revealing and I feel like I would look gross without curves. I want to get thinner and it be apparent that I still have both boobs and a butt, and I want people to question if i’ve had surgery to look like that.
Anyone need a buddy to text and talk about food and helping each other out?
/u/gothiccoffeebean
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:04:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgvw6/anyone_need_a_buddy_to_text_and_talk_about_food/
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[removed]
[Rant/Rave] Still riding this high...
/u/hapsuhapsu
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:02:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgvhw/still_riding_this_high/
---
...from when I was talking on the phone with my future boyfriend and I confessed to him that I haven’t had much of an appetite the past few months, which is how long it’s been since I’ve seen him. And it wasn’t a lie, but I’ve also been restricting—it just hasn’t been hard to restrict because I’m honestly not hungry these days. I’m always busy and have so much on my mind and I miss him so eating is just not a priority lately.
He asked, “How many calories do you think you’re eating a day?”
I said, “I don’t know, around 800?”
And he shrieked, “800?!!!”
And it was just so...validating? satisfying? encouraging? to hear his concern and I got such a rush. I almost wonder if he has some disordered eating habits himself cause he fasts obsessively and does OMAD sometimes but the dude can pack away THOUSANDS of calories in one sitting and is in perfect physical shape because of working hard at the gym and being tall enough to get away with eating a 2000 calorie dinner.
idk. It just feels great being a tiny girl who “eats like a bird” in comparison to him.
[Rant/Rave] I can’t stand pretty girls
/u/ReapHappiness [5'7" | 146.5 | 13.4lbs lost | GW1: 147lbs | UGW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 13:01:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qguyo/i_cant_stand_pretty_girls/
---
I have a friend who is gorgeous, perfect face, tiny waist, proportional chest and butt, golden skin... and she always calls herself ugly. I’m not being a dick, I understand that someone can be beautiful and still have body image issues/dismorphia, but I don’t think that’s the case here. She’s always dressed perfectly and constantly has guys and girls drooling at her... yet when she’s around me she always say “I look like shit” or something like that. And she always smiles and laughs when she says it. It fucking infuriates me and it doesn’t help that she’s like 5’4” and I’m a disgusting 5’8” gargantuan beast. I love talking and hanging out with her, but it’s not helping my disordered head to hear a fucking model call herself ugly. If she’s ugly, then what the fuck am I???
one step forward, two steps back
/u/aeonamare [5'6| 150.5 | 24.3 | -63.8 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:58:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgu25/one_step_forward_two_steps_back/
---
tried to eat at maintenance yesterday and woke up today weighing a pound and a half heavier and now we are going to fast for three days - THANKS BODY
[Discussion] I seriously love you guys
/u/fieryanxiety [5'7" | CW 119 | BMI 19| HW 159 | GW 110]
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:56:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgt55/i_seriously_love_you_guys/
---
Some days (most days) I feel like a complete failure of a human being. I am 27 and I always thought I would have my life together by now. On the outside, my life might look pretty normal. I work a full time office job. I am engaged. We own a house, cars and pets. We travel. Normal, right?
But here I am, binging and purging in the bathroom at work. Crying over calories. Cutting my arms. Enough psych pills to choke a horse. Entertaining suicidal fantasies. Sometimes it's nearly impossible to get out bed.
I just want to thank you all for your honesty. It's not easy to bare your soul and all the dark and ugly things that we try to hide from those close to us. I might not know you guys personally, but when I read your posts and comments I feel connected to you. I may never be normal, but I am also not alone. Love you all so much!!! 💕
[Rant/Rave] Monday Frustrations
/u/waverliethelane
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:51:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgrk9/monday_frustrations/
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As a teacher most of our teacher work days serve as time for us to eat, vent, eat, vent, and eat some more .
However when you’re trying to not be fat, but you want to eat all the free food , life gets hard .
So here I am only have eaten a sandwich and chips for lunch , and I’m already figuring out how and when to burn off everything I ate .
Ana says purge .
Normal me says work out
Fucked up me says do both n sleep for dinner
Ed Stacking?
/u/prettypinkneversweet
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:23:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgib3/ed_stacking/
---
I’m sure this has been asked a billion times, and I’m sorry if it has. Feel free to direct me to another post if this is annoying. I really want to understand Ed stacking. What it is, how it works and the right and wrong way of participating in it.
Thank you in advance!
I guess it’s a good thing that I have an eating disorder
/u/ThorsHammock
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:13:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgexy/i_guess_its_a_good_thing_that_i_have_an_eating/
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I just got my first student loan bill and it looks like I couldn’t afford food anyway 🙃
Restriction -> restless sleep -> increased hunger -> overeating -> restriction.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:05:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgcdk/restriction_restless_sleep_increased_hunger/
---
There are days when I sincerely believe that death is the only freedom from this suffering.
[Help] Need some advice from the drunkorexics around here
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:05:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgc38/need_some_advice_from_the_drunkorexics_around_here/
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I have occasionally started doing the "starving-myself-to-binge-drink" thing and oh boy I am not ready. 1 energy drink, 6 vodka shots, no food, and a lot of sleep, I woke up still drunk which never happens to me??? It was genuinely terrible. How do you make sure you don't feel like absolute garbage? How do you better control your alcohol consumption? This shit seems to be the worst.
[Help] I’m freaking out- antidepressant weight gain fears
/u/hunnyangel
Created: Mon Oct 22 12:00:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qgalh/im_freaking_out_antidepressant_weight_gain_fears/
---
I’m actually fucking sobbing right now. My girlfriend told me her mom gained 90 pounds on lexapro. Someone else I know gained 40 on it. I’m terrified. I cannot get fatter I absolutely can’t
Is there any way to prevent this from happening? I’m going into panic mode right now.
is anyone else obsessed with being super feminine!?
/u/thinwishes_ [5'7" | CW 135 lb | GW 125 lb | UGW 120 lb | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 11:50:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qg787/is_anyone_else_obsessed_with_being_super_feminine/
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I never really paid much attention before to my femininity before my ED started but now I’m obsessed with everything being light pink and rose, having long nails, feminine makeup, wearing skirts, having good posture, watching Disney movies and over all just being more ladylike!? I swear every sweater I bought for fall is pink. Please tell me I’m not the only one?
[Rant/Rave] was an idiot in front of my crush and it makes me not able to eat
/u/carlems [5'2| CW: 101,8 | GW: 97 | -19]
Created: Mon Oct 22 11:24:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfyct/was_an_idiot_in_front_of_my_crush_and_it_makes_me/
---
Bad news: I was having a first long conversation with my crush and CONSTANTLY said something stupid and couldn’t be natural at all. Probably lost all chances at him getting interested in me.
Good news: it makes me unable to eat, it’s like I want to punish myself and/or make myself skinny enough so that he’d want me no matter how stupid my personality might be. I was struggling with binges before this, so....yay, I guess?
[Discussion] When did you lose the "buzz" your ED gave you?
/u/LittleBookOfSorrows [5ft1in| 77 | 14.55|MAINTAINING]
Created: Mon Oct 22 11:22:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfxlm/when_did_you_lose_the_buzz_your_ed_gave_you/
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You know in the early days when weight dropped off and you felt powerful and better than those who didn't have the self control to not stuff their faces (and keep it down) and all the other derogatory thoughts we have about "normal" eaters? That was a big buzz, right? It's the thing that kept us going, right? It felt AMAZING.
​
THEN...it gets olllllld. It gets boring. You (secretly) envy those normal eaters and the fact they don't care about their weight.
​
I remember when the honeymoon period was over for me during my last relapse. I was so fucking hungry and had so much to do. I was running around and felt like death on two legs. I thought I'd have a snack just to feel like I wasn't going to pass out and stood in the health food section. Checking out the calories on cashews, trail mix, raisins, etc and the calories seemed so high and I couldn't eat it. I'm a bottle-upper and NO ONE sees me cry, but I broke down in floods of tears because I was so damn hungry and felt like I was going to die.
​
If you've had that moment, what was it? Was it a gradual thing or one event that made you despise your ED? How long was your "honeymoon period"? For me it's usually around 18 months long. Downhill spiral follows after that. (Usually when hitting a stubborn plateau).
[Discussion] Favourite thinspirational Non-ED shows and films?
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Mon Oct 22 11:19:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfwrw/favourite_thinspirational_noned_shows_and_films/
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Hey everyone,
So we all know the big ones like Supersize vs. Superskinny, Secret Eaters, To The Bone etc.
But what I'm interested in is what are your favourite thinspo shows and films that are not about eating or being thin or really anything ED related? That are not necessarily 'intended' to be thinspo?
It's okay if there's something about an ED in it, like one of the characters has one or something, but it shouldn't be a priority.
I like watching Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars for example. I find both absolutely terrible tbh, they're really not good shows but they can trigger me no end. And yes, ED's do get a mention in both but that's really not what thinspires me at all. It's more these girls with those tiny bodies (Jenny from GG, holy shit! And Aria and Emily from PLL!)
Also in GG, when the characters eat they usually just pick away a bit at their breakfast and then suddenly have to leave because they get a text and have to go do something far more important than eating because their lives are so busy and awesome (and totally unrealistic, yeah).
Black Swan is right up there as well, definitely my favourite thinspo of all time. I even had a thread going about it recently. Holy Crap, those dancers (and Mila in particular) are soooo tiny. Balanchine would be proud.
So, how about you?
[Other] Just went to Burger King for the first time since college
/u/lizbites
Created: Mon Oct 22 11:10:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qftfa/just_went_to_burger_king_for_the_first_time_since/
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Now I’m old, fat, broke, and hungover, but the fries taste exactly the same!
Anyone else having a fast food throwback? Let’s wallow together
[Rant/Rave] I'm happy AF today
/u/handzies
Created: Mon Oct 22 11:08:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfsnd/im_happy_af_today/
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REASONS I'M HAPPY!:
- ya bis lost 11 pounds in two weeks
- it has finally cooled down and is offically sweater weather
- I'm going to a music festival with my best friend.
-I have a cute costume.
- I ate some chicken wings yesterday and I only feel a little bad about it.
- I'm alive! I'm kicking! I'm breathing!
- my recently rediscovered favorite song came in this morning. (If I ever feel better- Phoenix)
-I slept well
- I love my mom
- and last but not least I got some dick this weekend.
Now why are you dainty peeps happy? I want you to think about even 1 good thing and be like "fuck yeah thats the dang ticket"
[Help] Anyone else get a really bad headache after b/p that hurts even worse when breathing?
/u/not-creative-enough- [5’6 | 16F | CW145lbs | 23.5 | HW150lbs ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 11:07:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfsg3/anyone_else_get_a_really_bad_headache_after_bp/
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Okay so if I breath in through my nose my headache gets extremely worse!!! I've taken about 800mg of ibuprofen today and so far it hasn't helped. I think it's partially due to not having caffeine ( I drank some but then ate and then purged) but whenever I breath in through my nose my headache gets worse, if I breath through m y mouth it's okay-ish.
[Rant/Rave] IF I LOSE ONE MORE INCH FROM MY WRIST ILL SCREAM
/u/conuretrash [5'3.5''| 20 F | CW 148 | GW 115| -42 |]
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:55:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfohc/if_i_lose_one_more_inch_from_my_wrist_ill_scream/
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Lol. I’m only five pounds from being normal weight (BMI) and I STILL have not lost stomach fat! But! My wrists are so so tiny, like a really skinny girls. I’m genuinely so dainty looking until you see my stomach (coming for you Amberlynn). I sized out of the men’s Apple Watch band, without realizing it was the men’s, and now I’m about to size out of the woman’s band too. When I started wearing the smaller band I was like four notches and now I’m two away from it being too loose. Why oh why won’t my stomach go away?? Tf I need skinny wrists for?? I’m not that mad just annoyed.
[Tip] the ultimate low calorie dessert - 20 calorie waffles (recipe in comments)
/u/innocentkitty [5'1.5 | CW: 90 | 17.0 | GW: 85]
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:53:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfnly/the_ultimate_low_calorie_dessert_20_calorie/
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https://i.redd.it/xkyyfp9rort11.jpg
[Other] Restriction is bad, but “fasting” is healthy! Shame on those with EDs. Totally different things
/u/ShannonAnon
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:52:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfndg/restriction_is_bad_but_fasting_is_healthy_shame/
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https://i.redd.it/ppqyj6zmort11.jpg
Hi!
/u/mullberryjam
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:45:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfkuv/hi/
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Hey everyone!
I'm relatively new here. I have been creepin' on y'all for a looong time though. I recently made a new reddit because my ex knew my old one. So here's my little intro!
I just got married on Sept. 1 and also started a new job. Great, but I was SOOOO stressed that I gained 20 POUNDS. 20! Like who even am I. Anyways, I'm a half-ass vegan and I'm in love with Pacific Organic Soups and Dairy Free Halo Top because I hate myself.
I don't know how to use reddit completely and I don't know that I want to put my stats up anyways right now? But I'll let you guys know that my BMI is 27. So I obviously have hella work to do.
Like most of you, I use intermittent fasting (BodyFast app) and Restrict to 1000 cals or less (usually much less but that's according to the Lose it! app)
Anyways, that's me. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you lovely people, and hopefully share more with you guys!
[Other] Is r/1200isjerky a satire version of our subreddit?
/u/Rosebug1717
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:30:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qffz1/is_r1200isjerky_a_satire_version_of_our_subreddit/
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I just found it and I find it funny but it seems like they’re making fun of us in a way? Haha
[Discussion] SHARE YOUR HALLOWEEN PREP!
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 23.5” waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:30:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qffs5/share_your_halloween_prep/
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If you’re celebrating Halloween this weekend, share what your costumes are and what you’re doing to prepare!! 👻
I’m particularly interested in what you guys eat before drinking because I’ve drank on an empty stomach and it ended with me throwing up for hours and then sitting under the shower contemplating my life
Also: tips on keeping warm in your costume if you’re from a cold place, I’m scared I might freeze to death in mine :-)
great start to the week
/u/atla302
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:25:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qfdyw/great_start_to_the_week/
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b/p last night instead of studying for a big bio test, def failed that shit. just want to die in a hole now!!!!
[Other] I feel great!
/u/Helpmexoxo
Created: Mon Oct 22 10:01:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qf5m4/i_feel_great/
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It’s the end of the day and I’ve consumed 445 calories today!! I was only gonna have 500 but now that I know I’ve eaten lesser than that I feel so happy! I’m going to exercise for a couple of hours, do some squats, dance and clean my room so I can burn them off. And if later I feel hungry at all (I’m hoping I’ll just sleep) but if I really do feel super hungry I’ll just drink loads of water or plain broth.
[Rant/Rave] Really depressed, so so so cold, gained some weight, I feel like I just want to never get up again. I hate reality.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 104| HW 142| GW 95 ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 09:55:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qf3n5/really_depressed_so_so_so_cold_gained_some_weight/
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Not sure if it’s from a loss, taking lithium, or just general depression but my control on the weekends is lost and I hate myself for it. Truly hate myself. I can’t focus on work or anything. My creativity is crushed. It was fine when I was 5lbs lighter and it was warm out.
I gained 5 lbs since July and had to update my flair, I have failed myself. Well technically it was 105 ish but I hadn’t had a BM in a week and had to lax. So I’m going with 104.
Monday - Friday I am okay. I can restrict.
The weekends I just lay around, lax, and eat too much. I WASTE every weekend with my ED but am too exhausted to do anything else.
I can’t work out because I have NO energy, I’m freezing all the time. My weight gain just came in as a whoosh up 🤦🏻♀️😔 and I need to get it back down. I feel like in the winter my body like prepares for the cold and eats more WTF. I need a warmer climate to succeed at this.
What is the best way to lose this? Please?
I miss my body from July. Everyone always says I look like I have no fat but I can feel the 5lbs of sludge under my skin that have come to life in the past few months.
Sorry for so much self hate, I just needed to get this out there. I work so hard and am killing myself to be fat! I am dying inside. I should have never weighed in.
[Other] Something happened at work and I can’t stop thinking about it
/u/olegreatthrowaway
Created: Mon Oct 22 09:45:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qf0hz/something_happened_at_work_and_i_cant_stop/
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So I’m a bartender at a small bar on a college campus so we can’t make a lot or fancy drinks. A lady and her boyfriend came in and asked if we can make a mojito. I politely tell her we can’t (bc mint). She looks bummed out and says she’s looking for a low cal drink because she’s counting calories
What confused me is a mojito isn’t a low calorie drink?
I was gonna suggest her somethings but then she just says she wants a margarita extra sweet with a sugar rim and I officially lost hope in humanity.
Some times I can’t tell if I’m disoriented or if another people are
[Intro] I just need to get to 55kg (f22 178cm) but I’m scared I’m slowing down and not gonna make it so I restrict to 600-800 and I just wanna not be like this anymore
/u/gayprincess96
Created: Mon Oct 22 09:34:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qewrr/i_just_need_to_get_to_55kg_f22_178cm_but_im/
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https://i.redd.it/fy45qlvmart11.jpg
i’m losing my hair
/u/strawberrybubblegam
Created: Mon Oct 22 09:04:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qems6/im_losing_my_hair/
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i have really long brown hair. i’m very proud of it, but it’s been shedding more and more ever since i got down to 92 this summer. now i’m still underweight, but at a much safer weight, and my hair seems to fall out more and more each day! it’s so scary and weird. anyone have any tips or help to prevent more hair loss??
your perfectly manicured explanation on how you lost so much weight?
/u/2AMChiliSoap [5'3F| 129 | GW:120-122 | 🍑 chilidabrat ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 09:01:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qem09/your_perfectly_manicured_explanation_on_how_you/
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i almost buckled in front of my sister. i said i've been vegetarian for a year (true), portion control (very true, OMAD lmao) and walking (all true) but she gives me the "i dont believe you but ok" face. i feel like she recognizes ED behavior cuz she's had one and has relapsed several times -- honestly my whole family exhibits ED behavior but i think i get away with it because i make a big ass, good smelling meal (it's stir fry, and its probably 200 calories and my whole-ass intake of the day.) anyway, she's starting to be more inquisitive and i dont like getting pressed. help yall!
We're actually pretty good on fighting
/u/anerxl
Created: Mon Oct 22 08:58:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qekvl/were_actually_pretty_good_on_fighting/
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Guys, I know we are all kinda fucked up, but, still, I would like to point out that we are also strong as fuck. We have so much willpower, that's actually why we are here. We are strong enough to actually achieve those fucking goals and to fight it over and over again, even after a binge or something. So, my point is, our ED can actually destroy our body image and such, but, it can't ever say that we aren't strong enough. Cause honestly, we're not here cause we're weak.
Just acknowledge that. Just allow yourself to be proud for a few seconds.
[Rant/Rave] Happy about something I shouldn’t be
/u/-Summerr- [5’5| CW:115.9| BMI:19.3| SW:126.7| Female]
Created: Mon Oct 22 08:38:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qeeik/happy_about_something_i_shouldnt_be/
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It’s not purging, although the first time I succeeded at that I was pretty happy. Anyway, I was at Girl Scouts yesterday. At the end of the meeting the girl who bullied me, her shirt lifted up and I saw she had gained 10-15 lbs. It gave me this weird sense of happiness and motivation. Like, now I’m like “I can totally be skinnier than her if she keeps gaining weight and I keep losing weight.” I feel guilty, because she’s probably totally oblivious to the fact she’s gained weight, at least I was until I had gained like 23 lbs and was at the higher end of normal. I don’t know, I guess it’s good motivation? Now, I’m going to actively try to be skinnier than her. I’ve been on a plateau, and now this is like new motivation to get out of it somehow and become skinny. Maybe, it’s because I want her to be jealous of how I’m skinny and she’s not like how I was vice versa? Like, subconsciously I want her to feel how I did? I don’t know, but if it’s giving me motivation, I’ll take it. I’ve vowed that I’m only going to eat fruits and veggies until I’m underweight; no processed crap. I still feel guilty though that I’m using someone’s weight gain as motivation; it feels fucked up, and I don’t why, it just does.
TL;DR: My old bully gained weight, and it’s giving me a new sense of motivation to be skinnier than her. Going to eat fruits and veggies until I’m underweight.
[Rant/Rave] Last night I got black out drunk, bought 2 bags of chips and a book of sudoko puzzles (??), threw up in the bed, went downstairs to wash the sheets and fell asleep in the lobby of my apartment building.
/u/lizbites
Created: Mon Oct 22 08:33:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qed28/last_night_i_got_black_out_drunk_bought_2_bags_of/
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I fucking hate myself today, but hey, I lost 2lbs from all that throwing up!
Hello, hi, nice early morning everyone. Mine was great before (TMI)
/u/ffj_ [5'5" | way too much | ridiculous | -? | F | UGW: 77.2]
Created: Mon Oct 22 08:09:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qe5m3/hello_hi_nice_early_morning_everyone_mine_was/
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I nearly pooped myself twice. Just started my EC + diuretic stacks again and I've been drinking like 6oz of water every 15 mins for a few hours. It's tap water so not drinking it cold makes me sick but also drinking it too cold makes me sick. What a life
[Help] Tfw when you ask people for advice in restricting and they help you
/u/Youarefine49
Created: Mon Oct 22 08:09:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qe5f5/tfw_when_you_ask_people_for_advice_in_restricting/
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But it's only an issue if you mention you have an ED.
I'm just going to start being openly ana since it's so acceptable. I get cheered on when i skip meals and tell them I'm nearly underweight. Might as well keep doing.
Prozac and weight gain (it's not a thing!!)
/u/strawstring [5'10 | CW 155 | GW 140 | 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 08:05:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qe45x/prozac_and_weight_gain_its_not_a_thing/
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Just a piece of info I learned last week, for anyone worried about taking meds if the side effects can be weight gain:
When they studied most psychiatric drugs, the patients were often low-income or homeless (so they were often malnourished or just not eating a lot) and then came into the hospital as inpatients. In the hospital, the people that survive on very little were fed adequate amounts off hospital food and gained weight. Not because of the medication, but more likely because if you give someone who has been struggling to get enough money for food in a setting where they can eat 3 full meals a day, they will gain weight. The side effect must be listed on the drug, because yes, weight gain did often occur when patients were taking it.
This applies to a lot of psych meds, not just prozac, so hopefully this eases someone else's worries as it has eased mine!
[Rant/Rave] i wanna do whatever it takes to be skinny.. am i crazy?
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Mon Oct 22 07:21:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qdroj/i_wanna_do_whatever_it_takes_to_be_skinny_am_i/
---
losing weight has been a long ride for me, and restriction takes a lot of self control and hard work. i dont wanna recover for now and wanna stay skinny (or lose 1kg or 2kg). this is my addiction now and i feel like i cant stop this. i am not ready for "recovery" . i wish i can wait for a few more years.
to lose 1 to 2kg more, my plan is to stop biscuits, ice cream, and anything that contains carbohydrates. not allowed for even tiny amounts..
sorry just ranting. i am just searching for people who have same or similar thoughts as me or just understand how i feel..
Anyone else's year looking like this? :/
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 110 | GW 104 | LW 107 | F26]
Created: Mon Oct 22 07:01:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qdlp3/anyone_elses_year_looking_like_this/
---
https://i.imgur.com/UlHH3Qh.jpg
Anyone else constantly surrounded by binge food?
/u/casseliane [19F | 5'6" |146.4 lbs | BMI 23.63 ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 06:45:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qdhef/anyone_else_constantly_surrounded_by_binge_food/
---
Back in April I started working at a local cake shop. We make custom cakes for special occasions as well as smaller desserts and cake slices that we sell straight out of our case. I *love* the work environment, everyone is so kind and they’re excellent about working around my class schedule (college student). The only problem is that they’re also super lax about letting the employees take home desserts we don’t sell at the end of the day.
If we slice a cake to sell as individual slices and a slice comes out too ugly or too small to sell, the manager will just let you take it. Same goes for if a cannoli shell breaks. When we have to cut up big sheets of brownies and dessert bars to wrap and sell as little squares, it’s common practice to save the ends that baked against the side of the pan and put them in a box for the staff to snack on.
I have an awful sweet tooth, and sweet things are my ultimate binge foods. Subsequently, I’ve been stuck in a b/p cycle since June. Magically, nobody there is overweight, save for a woman in her early 60’s and a girl a bit older than me who started working there after I did.
Does anyone else struggle with this? I’m legitimately thinking of switching jobs just to remove myself from the temptation, but right in the middle of the semester is less than ideal. In the meantime, I’m going vegan (none of our products are vegan) to hopefully keep my grimey little hands off of the cheesecake bars.
Imagine
/u/NoBorkToday
Created: Mon Oct 22 06:33:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qdehn/imagine/
---
https://i.redd.it/i0utoud2fpt11.jpg
Unintentional purge
/u/gpbean
Created: Mon Oct 22 06:28:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qdd3e/unintentional_purge/
---
I have been not eating breakfast for the last two weeks, however today I was told I was going to the firstborn floor ( I’m a med intern) so I didn’t want to faint there and also I didn’t know when they were going to let me have lunch (it’s my only meal of the day) so I had a nature’s valley sweet and salty nut chocolate bar in three minutes. When I got to the first born floor I got an intense need to poop and nausea and I ran to the bathroom and vomited a little. Any idea why this could have happened?
[Sticky] Weekly Stats Update! October 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 22 06:13:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qd97r/weekly_stats_update_october_22_2018/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 22, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 22, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 22 06:13:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qd96b/daily_food_diary_october_22_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 22, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Other] Downloaded UberEats, DoorDash and EatStreet. Again. Keep filling up my cart and then deleting it and filling it and deleting it🤦🏻♀️ why do I torture myself 😂😂😂 one of those days I wish I was born a couple of centuries ago
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Mon Oct 22 06:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qd8ks/downloaded_ubereats_doordash_and_eatstreet_again/
---
[Tip] This piece of advice might be extremely obvious, but I could have used it sooner.
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 06:08:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qd7u5/this_piece_of_advice_might_be_extremely_obvious/
---
One of the most annoying parts of my ED was the fact that that’s all my coworkers seemed to care about.
I work at McDonald’s, so whenever I’d go for a walk on my break instead of getting food, they’d all be like “why are you walking? You have a 8 hour shift today! Eat! Aren’t you hungry?” You know how that goes. The pushy coworkers wondering why you aren’t eating.
But you know what? Instead of hiding away like a normally would, I took a different approach. I decided to interact with my coworkers MORE.
The first thing I did was joking about how picky I was when they told me to eat. I listed off a shit ton of food I don’t like and they were all amazed. Then they were kind of like “no wonder you’re so thin!” Or “no wonder you don’t eat here, you don’t like meat!” Etc.
Past food though, I began interacting with them on a deeper level. I’d talk about my life outside of work, my hobbies, etc.
Now that they actually know more about me, they don’t seem to care as much about my weight, they see right through that! Instead of asking “did you even eat today?” They ask things like “did you bake anything last night?” Or “did you and your boyfriend do anything fun on your day off?”
So then it hit me: at my past jobs, my coworkers were so annoying to me because I didn’t give them anything else to talk to me about. Since I’ve gotten closer to my coworkers, they see right past my weight/eating.
TLDR: Actually making an effort to talk to your coworkers and become friends with them gives them something else to focus on besides your weight and eating patterns. It took me almost 4 years to figure this out.
[Help] Water retention with running?
/u/lilstickbutter
Created: Mon Oct 22 05:39:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qd0i7/water_retention_with_running/
---
So I’ve ran 5 half marathons in 5 weeks (1 a week) and have gained almost 10 pounds. I’ve increase my calorie intake on the days I’ve had the races but not enough to gain 10 pounds in 5 weeks!
Any chance this could be water retention or something else?
How to avoid binges and supress cravings?
/u/xxmybrokendreamsxx
Created: Mon Oct 22 05:32:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qcypc/how_to_avoid_binges_and_supress_cravings/
---
I'm trying to lose about 4 stone in weight and struggle with stuffing my face with food and giving in to cravings. Any tips?
[Intro] Well it happened and you guys were right, it sucks
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5|95lbs/43kg|18.43|19F|Exploring recovery]
Created: Mon Oct 22 05:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qcxrf/well_it_happened_and_you_guys_were_right_it_sucks/
---
I genuinely looked like a skeleton as a kid; if left unsupervised, I would wake up at 7:00 am and not eat it until 4:00-5:00 pm (and only then because my mum would force me). After puberty hit though, I developed an appetite, gained until I was at the high end of a normal BMI and since then, I've been restricting.
Restriction has never been terribly hard; I got down to my LW without any caffeine, protein bars, Bronkaid, etc- just a plain, old bowl of oatmeal as an OMAD and plenty of water throughout the rest of the day. Any time I strongly feel any emotion, I stop thinking about food. It's only when I'm emotionally empty that I notice the physical emptiness. However, there's never been a time where food has been \*unappealing\*.
Until now. I'm desperately trying not to spiral again and while it's not going as terribly as last year, I've completely lost my appetite. Hell, I commented on someone's post a few months ago about \*wanting\* this to happen and the OP told me about how it sucked to just being consuming "meaningless goop" because you had to to stay alive.
Well, I can barely get in 1000 calories a day lately, and even when I do, nothing seems all that good. Just meaningless energy and nutrition so I don't get malnourished. I used to love planning out my meals at the start of recovery, all the foods that I hadn't tasted or cooked in months but now I just want to enter in 3-4 protein shakes (that I may or may not bother to even drink) and call it a day.
I don't want to be like this. I want to be stable, healthy, happy and safe. But I just feel like an idiot right now for thinking that would be possible. This fucked up mental state has yet again cost me a piece of myself.
150lbs by my birthday
/u/softdyke
Created: Mon Oct 22 04:47:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qcnsy/150lbs_by_my_birthday/
---
It’s my birthday in 71 days, and originally I wanted to be 140lbs but honestly I think I’m going to just put everything into getting to 150lbs before then and anything lower will be a bonus. I’m not sure what I weigh now, maybe 160 because my scales are broken but tomorrow I am seeing my family so I can weigh myself then.
I think if I set myself a more manageable goal I will be able to restrict more easily?
Anyway, I’ll let you know when I reach 150lbs, please send me good vibes
[Rant/Rave] The great anxiety fast 'n clean
/u/lattephobia
Created: Mon Oct 22 03:43:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qc9ih/the_great_anxiety_fast_n_clean/
---
Somebody stop me. I'm choking on dust and drowning in cleaner.
So I found out last night around 10:00 PM that the city home inspection of our house (rental) is *not* Thursday as planned, but Tuesday. At 10:00 AM. So there goes the nicely planned cleaning checklist for the week, all lost in this nervous hum of, "Company-is-coming-COMPANY-is-COMING-a-stranger-is-coming-explicitly-to-JUDGE-you-HE'S-COMING!"
So we're not total slobs, although my husband is a "dry" hoarder (collectible statues, action figures computer parts, chunks of robot parts, etc) to some degree and my best friend who rents the two downstairs rooms has a chronic illness that saps her energy to pick up her room and office most days. For the most part the house is "busy" but never dirty. Like, hella busy. A nerdvana decorated a la horror vacui with my stationary bike parked straight tf in the middle of the tiny-ass living room busy.
And I know this man is only coming to check that the doors lock and the smoke detectors work, but I am *losing my shit* over here.
"A-STRANGER-IS-COMING-TO-JUDGE-YOU-and-don't-forget-everything-he-sees-reflects-on-your-elderly-family-friend-who-owns-this-tiny-goddamn-house-HE-IS-COMING-TO-TELL-YOU-TO-CALL-TLC-AND-A&E-cause-we-got-a-veritable-SITUATION-here."
So it's 5:30 AM. I've deep-cleaned the kitchen, scoured every speck of cooking off the cooker, reorganized the plates and bowls by color, set-dressed the surfaces, lifted every flake of lint from the laundry room, decluttered the entertainment stand, folded all of the reusable shopping bags, sorted the winter hats and gloves that have recently migrated to the Near-Couch Reigon, moved the exercise bike this way and that to improve things (it doesn't), threw away every stolen hotel shampoo and partial eyeshadow palette in the bathroom, straightened the board games, and I'm just now gaining some clarity as to how much overkill this bullshit is.
And yet when my husband leaves I still have to hide the sex toys, straighten the shelves, vacuum and carpet clean the stairwell, dust the entertainment center, sweep and mop the downstairs, bleach out the "Thank fuck it's already clean" bathroom, rake and mow the lawn, and help my bestie tackle organizing *her* rooms.
Somebody come kill me. I'm begging. But *fucked* if I'm not ready to greet this son of a bitch tomorrow with perfect make-up and a thoroughly bleached home, a fresh loaf of banana bread in the oven, and the biggest ass-kissing smile you've ever seen.
At least I haven't eaten since 7:00 AM yesterday morning. And I'm not inclined to until this nosy asshole is out of my house.
[Other] [Other] Interesting 5 year trend.
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 03:28:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qc6hs/other_interesting_5_year_trend/
---
https://imgur.com/c8aSHoR
[Rant/Rave] [Rave] just logged back into MFP after months... my last goals show how much I have dropped.
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 03:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qc5zx/rave_just_logged_back_into_mfp_after_months_my/
---
https://imgur.com/FCSrZr3
[Rave] I was finally able to eat, AND kept it under my 800 limit. I really don't like how scary nearly passing out is, especially with the other warning of the fall our member had.
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 03:17:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qc40r/rave_i_was_finally_able_to_eat_and_kept_it_under/
---
https://imgur.com/QkTtprk
I just tried to make an account on myproana
/u/ffj_ [5'5" | way too much | ridiculous | -18 | F | UGW: 77.2]
Created: Mon Oct 22 02:52:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbz5h/i_just_tried_to_make_an_account_on_myproana/
---
and the fucking website glitched and it won't let me do anything it's just so aggravating I finally made an account after seeing how active and inclusive everything is only for the website to literally fucking reject me
what do you guys take to keep your hair healthy and minimize hair loss
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | bingetastic CW: 103 | GW 94 | UGW 88 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 02:39:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbwq3/what_do_you_guys_take_to_keep_your_hair_healthy/
---
hi i'm wet, naked, and on the verge of tears at 4:37 am over some damn dead keratin cells because every time i brush my hair more of it falls out. h e l p
biotin? a multivitamin? sugar bear hair gummies ???? what do you recommend? any specific brand
[Discussion] What’s currently motivating you to restrict?
/u/katya_del_rey
Created: Mon Oct 22 02:35:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbvyg/whats_currently_motivating_you_to_restrict/
---
For me, it’s a combination of self hatred, jealousy, and anger.
What about y’all?
[Discussion] What age did you notice your disordered eating or body dismorphia?
/u/tinygrl22 [5'1 | CW: 107lbs | 20.2 | 19F |]
Created: Mon Oct 22 02:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbqr5/what_age_did_you_notice_your_disordered_eating_or/
---
I remember I was like 3 or 4 and I was in day care and was sitting on my knees and I remember thinking my thighs were way fatter then all the other little girls.
[Rant/Rave] bi/gay girl problems
/u/altoristics [5’3 | cw 104.8 | (new) bmi 19.08 | gw 90 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 02:02:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbpno/bigay_girl_problems/
---
am i attracted to that girl or do i want to be as skinny as her? we’ll never know
Struggling to be compliant with my meal plan
/u/meineschatzi [166cm | CW: 75kg | BMI: 28 | GW: 52kg | 26F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 02:00:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbp7x/struggling_to_be_compliant_with_my_meal_plan/
---
I don’t want to eat dinner, I’m just sitting here crying, but if I don’t I risk getting kicked out of the day program I’m attending for losing weight too quickly, and things would just get so much worse. I want to recover but right now it’s so fucking hard. I have zero appetite, eating my afternoon tea made me feel ill. I hate this. I feel like giving up on the help everyone is giving me because I’m just fucking it all up anyway.
Using my younger self (3 years ago) as thinspo - 5'8" 125lbs
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 01:53:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbnwl/using_my_younger_self_3_years_ago_as_thinspo_58/
---
https://i.imgur.com/KZmsc21.jpg
[Other] ED Brain and Doing Dumb Shit
/u/shuucreme [177/5'10'' | LW: 85 | CW: 96 (gross) | GW: LW & beyond | F/Fluid]
Created: Mon Oct 22 01:19:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbgyi/ed_brain_and_doing_dumb_shit/
---
SO. At some point in my life, as crazy as it seems, I actually was happy with my mental function. You know, like if I can't be pretty and thin at least I'm smart???? But that's gone away recently, please tell me it's due to the ED bc I don't think I could stand it if I'm just dumber as a whole lmao.
​
Fairly serious stupid shit I've done recently (as an example, I do stupid stuff all the time but these are the highlights):
* Used an aluminium pie tin to microwave something (yes, I was binging)
* Opened a package of raw meat in marinade, some marinade dripped on my fingers, I (naturally) licked my fingers...then realised what I had done and thought, well I'm purging this after anyway, so
* Doctor wanted me to go to the ER (A&E, whatever) for low potassium, I didn't want to, got woken up the next day for the same thing, ended up saying yes reluctantly, went to the hospital, walked around for 30 mins looking for the entrance, got scared by security, took a (gross) coconut water from the cafeteria, and left instead of going to the ER...All in all, two hours of wasted time lol
[Rant/Rave] when everything goes wrong, except...
/u/tifaloch
Created: Mon Oct 22 00:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbbo7/when_everything_goes_wrong_except/
---
literally today sucked ultimate balls. between family and money and health. and then my boyfriend is horrible also and i caught him in several lies about where he was all day... then he blamed me, stating my body image issues make him unable to have sex with me so he only has so many options.
but.
i haven’t eaten all damn day. and i feel good.
Anyone else have health anxiety related to your ED?
/u/lemonbasilthyme [5'3" | 93 lbs | 16.5 BMI | GW: 89 lbs | 29F]
Created: Mon Oct 22 00:50:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qbam3/anyone_else_have_health_anxiety_related_to_your_ed/
---
Just a typical late-night worry attack here.
I started lurking this subreddit a few months ago and I see a lot of threads kind of darkly joking or just talking wistfully about stuff like fainting, heart palpitations, dizziness, etc. I’ve even seen threads romanticizing these symptoms, which I understand people are often discussing in réminiscence of past low weights. It’s harder for me to empathize when others speak of such things as desirable outcomes as they reach for some idealized goal weight. I miss my LW, too, but I never enjoyed physically feeling like absolute shit.
So my question for you all tonight is this: Does anyone else ever feel irrationally afraid that you could essentially die at any moment from something like undetected damage to your heart from months or years of operating at a deficit?
It’s weird because, like a lot of you, I’ve spent ample time thinking about death and sometimes wishing for it. However, I’m terrified of unexpectedly dropping dead when I’m not prepared. (To be clear, I’m not saying this because I think I’m in any imminent danger. The ED health risks are just what my anxiety has chosen to seize upon, I think.) I wonder if anyone else feels this way?
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] energy loss has me so BORED
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Mon Oct 22 00:24:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qb4wx/rant_energy_loss_has_me_so_bored/
---
Heavy restriction has me lethargic... FB reddit and IG are boring me to death. I hate bingeing on TV and just sitting there... I want to dance with my hoops but I don't want to collapse again but I can't even muster eating at all because I have done nothing but lay around like a lazy ass. It's a vicious cycle.
[Help] how to lose muscle?
/u/1caru3 [5'1 | CW: 113 | UGW: 100 | F16]
Created: Mon Oct 22 00:08:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qb1jx/how_to_lose_muscle/
---
apparently i’ve been “blessed” with gigantic calves (i’m short as hell, but my calves are ~15inches) and whenever i try to look up solutions, everything that comes up is about losing fat and building muscle, even though my legs are literal tree trunks of (unwanted) muscle
i dunno. i’m losing weight (ish) but i’m so scared that i’ll get down to my gw and my body is horrendously out of proportion
i’ve heard the “if you don’t use it, you lose it” thing before but i haven’t worked out or anything in months and yet my calves and thighs are massive as hell and hard as a rock.
anyways if anyone here has legitimately reduced muscle mass please share your wisdom with me!! i just want thin legs aaaaaaaaa
[Discussion] Wtf food combinations/masterpieces due to ED 🙃
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:57:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qaz5c/wtf_food_combinationsmasterpieces_due_to_ed/
---
Jesus CHRIST. Is the “bone apple teeth” meme still relevant? Because I have concocted an abomination.
~Poorly sliced eggplant slices, with sriracha, sugar-free jelly, and pb2 PLOPPED right on top. Dash of parsley and salt.
And those of you who have had pretty-much-raw-because-trying-to-cook-it-in-oven-was-a-failure, eggplant slices have a weird soft-ish texture.
At least my plain-almond-coffee drink sort of wraps it all together??
Tell me your spookiest food concoctions 🎃
been on a week long binge/purge cycle ....please make it stop
/u/bellxxaaa
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:51:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qaxtd/been_on_a_week_long_bingepurge_cycle_please_make/
---
My mom and dad left me home alone last week and I wish I could tell you I was kidding when I say I've been binging from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed the entire week.
I really hope that was just me 'getting it out of my system' because I've been home alone and I have autonomy but FUCK I can't do this anymore.
It's so much more fun to be a functioning bulimic not a 'I hate my life I'm so depressed and bored what should i do now oh since we have no friends lets just go and eat!' type of bulimic
I'm so sad with myself.
[Rant/Rave] thought i was going to die for a sec
/u/problemproblem420 [5'6'' | 115 | 18.6 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qav20/thought_i_was_going_to_die_for_a_sec/
---
i've been binging for 4 days and tonight i literally thought i was going to die. panicked and called my stepmom because it seriously felt like my sides were splitting and i was having heart palpitations and i thought i would need to go to the hospital or something. hands down one of the scariest ED experiences i've had so far--including times i've fainted and hallucinated from restriction. binging is a different kind of monster i haven't been acquainted with lately. i puked a little (not even with fingers down my throat) and feel a little further from death.
​
on the up side, i never want to eat anything ever again. the switch on my crazy alter ego has switched and now she is taking over to clean up all my messes. sorry for the rant but it was very cathartic to get it out there.
[Help] Should I delete MFP (a long ramble because i can't share this with anyone)
/u/peanutbutter_monster
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:36:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qauqo/should_i_delete_mfp_a_long_ramble_because_i_cant/
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….I think I downloaded/used myfitnesspal since i was in the 9th grade on and off…i'm a third year in uni now. I've deleted before and would redownload whenever i felt like it was time to lose weight again…but i don't know why this time it feels different. Back story time, this is going to get long :(
Honestly I think I was mostly underweight my whole life but i've never ONCE felt skinny ('i need to lose weight' was literally my default mindset when it came to my body, i've felt the need to diet since the 4th grade). I was around 100 lb at 5'4 in the 7th grade, puberty started and i went up to around 106 by the 9th grade…thought i was 'fat' and went back down to 100 lb in 3-4 weeks. Felt really weak plus idk i just stopped giving a shit and by 11th grade i think i was around 110 at 5'6? End of senior year 115…and i've basically maintained that while I grew out of the stubborn "i have to be 100lbs' mindset. Given, I still had short cycles of eating around 1200 calories/exercising +obsessive calorie counting but it never really lasted and i thought hey everyone probably goes through this. I only weighed myself maybe once every couple of months out of pure curiosity…i was more lax with myself and didn't hate how i looked enough to do something about it. Didnt gain the freshman 15 once uni started and for the past three years ive hovered around 115 and thought i looked healthy/slim…BUTTT OH BOY this summer :)))
Summer school was stressful and i legit felt an increase in stomach rolls but i didn't care cuz my gpa y'know. Once it ended in the beginning of July, i stepped on the scale since i was pretty sure i gained weight and just wanted to know how much…i was expecting 115 (only cuz i was around 111 last time i weighed in back in Feburary) but the scale said 118. Heaviest I've ever been and I felt sick to the stomach. (I know i probably sound really ungrateful and i'm really sorry about that but growing up in an Asian household and being told i needed to watch my weight by a family friend at 112lbs really messes with you) And then it felt like i got a sudden dose of reality …i became aware of how much flabbier i felt, how my thighs were touching, how my arms looked gross etc. and i thought, since theres no more school i can get fit and lose the chub. So i did it healthily, exercise + 1300 cal daily intake cuz i wanted to ease myself into it and i lost about 4 pounds by the next week (mostly water i know) which made me feel…extra 'motivated'. Cut back down to 1200, then 1000 but stopped exercising cuz i felt really lethargic. But the lbs were just dropping even with binges and I made it to 104.7lb by middle of August.
During this time I knew i wasn't doing it the healthy way but i was actually starting to feel thin for once and I couldnt stop. In the past i would sometimes throw up after buffets but only because i literally felt sick from overeating but no, purged on purpose this summer for the first time. School started and I told myself to up my intake cuz i needed to actually use my brain but that just lead to a binge week…which meant when i went back home and saw that i was 109 i felt that urge to restrict again (lol even though that was my original gw). Got back to uni, did a couple of 24 hr fasts, a week of 600 cal/day (never doing that again) which would just lead to another binge when i'd go home for the weekend. Got down to 105.5 before fall break this past october (its a week long), which was good until i started binging. Kid you not i b/p'd 5 out of 7 days, 1-3 times a day…but that was a real exception…
Anyway, restrict/binge since school started and its really messing with my grades and my motivation, i'm getting low grades that i've never gotten before but i don't even have the energy to care…cuz i can't stop thinking about food and my body. People suggest high-restrcting or maintaining but the aspect of counting is what gets to me. I can't do it in a non-obsessive manner. If i set to maintenance i get afraid i'd gain due to faulty calculating or if i don't hit maintenance i'd think 'why don't i just restrict more and keep losing'. I know i *could* start maintaining at my current weight (i'm guessing 108-110 cuz no scale at school) and lose later; i've even tried 'intuitive eating' without logging only to go back and put the numbers back in. Logically, i know i have to stop calorie counting for the sake of my grades but I. Just. Can't. It feels dangerous. It scares me. i don't have much wiggle room for more weight gain. What if i balloon up to a new hw. I actually kind of like how i look for once and now i'm just going to let it go? I told myself i'd delete MFP on the 60th day streak but now i'm at day 105 thinking i should wait until 110. It's so hard to delete this time even though i'd do it without thinking in the past. I see the disordered behaviour this time around but i wouldn't say its a possible ed only cuz 1) i'm not sickly thin and i doubt id let myself get to that point 2) it feels like i can stop if i had to and 3) maybe this is just a 'phase'. Low-key sometimes i feel like i engage in it on purpose for some kind of 'identity' (messed up i know). Honestly, there's so much more i can talk about but i'll keep it to this as its already too long
Should I just go cold-turkey, delete all these diet apps, and hope for the best? I guess im just ranting and looking if anyone can relate…any advice is appreciated.
Also, for those who actually read all this nonsense, thanks I appreciate it :((
[Help] ed movie/tv show recommendations?
/u/problemproblem420 [5'6'' | 115 | 18.6 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:32:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qatsk/ed_movietv_show_recommendations/
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sorry if this is already a post on here but i can't seem to find it
can y'all recommend me some ed related shows or movies?
[Discussion] DAE have trouble distinguishing between a binge and a normal sized meal?
/u/lanadeltacobell
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:26:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qashe/dae_have_trouble_distinguishing_between_a_binge/
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Like I've had my ED for 10+ years at this point, and I'll try to go through phases of normalcy. I was eating Thai food and ate until I was full, and didn't keep track of calories - but I haven't had this full feeling in so long that I literally don't know if this was a "binge" or what people normally eat at a meal.
I have no concept of normal portion sizes anymore 😅
And which is worse? For me to think it was a binge but for it to have been a normal meal? Or for it to have been a normal meal but I think it was a binge?
EC stacks and alcohol
/u/SkinnyFatActually [5’2”| 102 lb|-8| F| 18.7]
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:20:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qar3x/ec_stacks_and_alcohol/
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So ec stacks make me feel pretty crazy which is whatever. But I’ve noticed that i have the urge to binge drink (whenever I drink I binge) but I get weird. I have made some pretty dumb decisions including making a fool out of myself around a lot of people and having risky sex. So, anybody else? I’m sure it’s just worse because on the days I stack i don’t eat at all or as much but ahh.
[Other] Wine whoosh, anyone?
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:15:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qaq2o/wine_whoosh_anyone/
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Took me a FECKING week but I am finally back at below 64 kg. My scales showed 65,5-64,5 for 7 days and then yesterday I felt like having wine, so I hade almost an entire bottle of wine (oops) and this morning I am 63,2!! This is the lowest I have been in YEARS.
So, now wondering, is this small whoosh just dehydration..?
[Goal] Guessing bmi of 16.7
/u/patbumbum [5'6 | PIG| UGW |94| F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:12:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qapcz/guessing_bmi_of_167/
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https://i.redd.it/ddgjg5jp7ot11.jpg
Currently sitting in the library at 6am because I'm scared to go home.
/u/Marca19 [5"0.5 | 99lbs | BMI 19.1| FTM]
Created: Sun Oct 21 23:12:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qapcr/currently_sitting_in_the_library_at_6am_because/
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TW depressing shit, please skip if you need to.
Someone please tell me it's going to be okay. I'm so scared of myself and there's nobody I can talk to. This fucking disorder isn't ruining my life, it's just a cover up for everything else.
I'm so depressed that I'm crying and sobbing every time I'm alone for more than a day, thinking about the future gives me panic attacks and all I can think is that these years are supposed to be the best of my life but I'm wasting them away praying that a car will hit me or I'll drop dead of an aneurysm somehow.
My friends are so distant now, I'm so desperate to connect but it never goes anywhere. I'm constantly dreaming and crying about being young when I was happy, but even then I wasn't. My anxiety is so bad that I have to stay at uni or I'm afraid of what I might do in my flat alone. How the hell can I think about what I will do after uni when I can't even think about the end of the day without breaking down.
I don't want to lose the only person who I feel really close to right now, I can't talk to him about this because I still love him and he cares about me but doesn't love me and I so desperately want him back. I don't want to go home. What is the point of growing up when everything just turns to shit and everyone grows apart.
I'm so desperate to feel like a part of something but I just end up feeling even more alienated - seeing people with their friends at the events I go to makes me feel like a knife is being twisted in my heart. I'm trying.
I lie to all my family and tell them I'm fine because what can they do from 5 hours away anyway, why the hell would I worry them needlessly. They care so much but I feel so disconnected anyway, it's like I can't appreciate everything good in my life and I hate that about myself. I feel so fucking selfish.
I want to feel good, I want to feel alive, I want to enjoy the good times when they happen instead of dreading my next downwards spiral. I want to do nice things for myself and be happy with my own company but the dark thoughts just roll in when I'm alone, especially at night. I'm so utterly sick of one minute feeling like I'm on top of the world and and the next wishing I was dead - and I cycle through this multiple times every day. I'm so tired but every time I try to sleep I just toss and turn.
How much longer can I hold myself together, how long until I start failing all my courses because I can't focus on anything other than how unstable and sick and terrified I am.
I haven't slept. I'm tired. Thank you all for being such a great community.
[Rant/Rave] so sick of not being able to lose the weight in my face
/u/girlinamber [5'6 | too much | not enough | nb]
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:58:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qam49/so_sick_of_not_being_able_to_lose_the_weight_in/
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this is such a huge curse and im so tired of it. no matter what size im at, the only thing im unable to lose is the chubbiness of my face. granted it was slightly slimmer when i was at my absolute lowest weight, but i still had that awkward double chin. i dont have a weak jawline or anything, either, so what's the deal, body? please get your shit together xoxo gossip girl
[Goal] You seem... smaller
/u/AtypANA [5'9 | CW 205.0 | HW 220 | LW 120 | GQ 🏳️🌈]
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:56:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qalmp/you_seem_smaller/
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My girlfriend said this to me when she came to visit me this weekend after a month and I almost died. Everything is worth it. I haven't noticed a difference other than certain jeans don't pinch anymore but if she says I'm smaller that's amazing. I questioned her and she asked if I lost weight. I shrugged it off with "oh I've been eating a bit healthier but I haven't weight myself so who knows."
I want to give her the skinny, sexy, smart girlfriend she deserves- instead of the fat loaf she has now.
Guessing a BMI 17
/u/patbumbum [5'6 | PIG| UGW |94| F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qal0f/guessing_a_bmi_17/
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https://i.redd.it/ugxns3cd4ot11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I’m so tired of my throat
/u/ThatzShynee
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:38:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qahf9/im_so_tired_of_my_throat/
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oh my god I’m so tired of my throat hurting after purging like I get there stomach acid but like god it’s so annoying. it’s especially bad when I bleed after bc it burns like hell. Sorry for the rant.
DAE sleep really hard if they’ve been purging?
/u/Emorito [5'3 |CW: 109 |-36 | 22F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:37:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qah5n/dae_sleep_really_hard_if_theyve_been_purging/
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Does anyone else experience REALLY deep sleep if you’ve been binging + purging a lot? I always find it super hard to get up in the morning and I’ve been really groggy/uncoordinated if I’m purging too much. I had a hard time with logic and thinking the other day when taking a math test. I sleep so hard lately that I either don’t dream or can’t remember my dreams. I know it’s tied to purging because I get this way when I do it. I’m often late to work/school because I can’t help but oversleep.
[Rant/Rave] I just took two shots so I can’t physically drive to get dinner
/u/ricemask [5'6" | HW:155 | UGW: 100 | 20F | 🍑: riceemask]
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:32:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qafty/i_just_took_two_shots_so_i_cant_physically_drive/
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I’m feeling great and warm right now and just saved me 2000 calories worth of binging Thai food 👌 👌 👌
My boyfriend just sent this text to me after i confronted him about cheating. I b/p a few days ago after restricting like crazy for the last 2 months and i regret just basically everything.
/u/imptea
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:31:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qafrk/my_boyfriend_just_sent_this_text_to_me_after_i/
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https://i.redd.it/g3727log0ot11.jpg
[Discussion] Diminishing returns?
/u/broketreebranch
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:27:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qaen9/diminishing_returns/
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I finally broke a plateau a few weeks ago and I was so elated when I saw the scale drop, I looked in the mirror and felt I looked thinner and I rode on that high the rest of the day. Since then I lost an additional 6 pounds and my BMI is now 17.8. But I have not gotten that same joyful feeling seeing the lower numbers on the scale, and feel fatter now than 6 pounds ago. It just reminds me how futile and fickle this damn disease is. But I can’t help but desire to lose more and more weight.....I’m just chasing that high....
Worst Sober Binge Ever Tonight, I’m Heartbroken
/u/LLazarus732
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:18:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qaci1/worst_sober_binge_ever_tonight_im_heartbroken/
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Hi guys,
I just needed to get this off my chest and say it to people who would understand, because I feel so alone and defeated right now.
I have really, truly been trying to recover. I’ve been seeing a therapist and “trying” for about a year, but in the past two months have gotten really serious about it. My personal life has been a bit of a mess, my career life is frustrating and devastatingly stagnant, my living situation is toxic, but I was doing okay! I hadn’t even tracked using MFP in two weeks today, which is insane for me because it’s been years since I missed tracking a single bite of anything I ate.
I’ve been eating more than I want, and feeling a little out of control all week, but still keeping it together. Then today I got some awful news, basically I am going to be stuck in this living situation for the foreseeable future, and the career change I had been basically assured would happen and was fully banking on completely fell through.
Tonight I binged worse than I literally ever have while sober, and worse than most times even when I’ve been drunk (when I normally lose all control and binge the worst). I didn’t purge, but god I feel so so so awful. I feel even more out of control and worthless and like I’m going to be a massive whale all over again. All I want is to redownload MFP and “get back on track” and set new food ground rules and just go back to the comfort that I know restricting offers. I miss it. I miss feeling in control because right now I feel like I’m completely drowning in my life, and I can’t see a single way out. I’m so sad, but at least when I’m actively losing I have a goal I am pursuing that is all mine and no one can take away from me.
I don’t know what to do but I knew I had to get this out, so thank you so so much to anyone who got through that wall of text. This subreddit has meant the world to me when I’ve felt most alone in this, so I cannot thank you all enough.
[Rant/Rave] Ugh gonna cry
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Sun Oct 21 22:17:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qacc6/ugh_gonna_cry/
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So this weekend was my boyfriend’s birthday and I thought I did okay with not eating too much but boy was I wrong because I just weighed myself and in 3 days I gained 5 pounds. Guess I’m not eating until Wednesday, so fuck me lmao
[Other] Found some old pictures of me from high school
/u/ManicPixieBallerina
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:56:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qa6pk/found_some_old_pictures_of_me_from_high_school/
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Hnghhhhh those ribs under my collar bones and my arms my god why did I hate their shape.
Is it possible to control/be in control of your ED?
/u/ellatheghost
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:40:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qa2tn/is_it_possible_to_controlbe_in_control_of_your_ed/
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Sorry if this sounds really dumb, but I was wondering if it's possible to have an eating disorder but also maintain an element of control with it? Such as being able to stop yourself going to far/making sure you at least eat something per day/understanding when you're going too far. I know maybe the whole point of an ED is that you spin out of control but I just know that ED's are disordered eating, so... I'm not sure. Again, I'm really sorry if this is a dumb or uneducated question but I just need to know. Thank you.
Finally flaired myself and feeling a little more confident!
/u/probably_light [5'6 | CW 165 | HW 190 | LW 108 | GW 125| 27F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:36:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qa1op/finally_flaired_myself_and_feeling_a_little_more/
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Hey all! So i've been a lurker and minimal poster on this account plus 2 others (I've only posted and commented a handful of times) for 2+ years. I've been dealing with with the ups and downs of my ED since I was 13, switching symptoms, my weight going all over the place in these 14 years. I've been inpatient 3 times and outpatient as well. My weight has been up lately and I've been feeling awful, but I finally broke 165 (I'm at 164.8 right now) so I flaired myself (is that the best way to say it?) because I'm not as ashamed and I'm feeling like I'm ready to be more of an active member of this community rather than a bystander just reading everything.
I was at almost 180 a little over a month ago and I was disgusted. I felt like a failure and a fraud, because for me personally, that number is represents a horrible time in my life. I still have a long way to go but I haven't been this confident about getting the weight off since I was in my late teens/early twenties. And it's not a relapse or anything, because I have NOT been doing well from a recovery stand point in the past several years, my weight has just gone up and down and all over and it's made me miserable.
Anyway, I haven't gotten much feedback on my previous posts and that's deterred me before, but I'm determined to stay active through the highs and lows from now on. I have a great support system IRL, but no one to relate to on the ED front and as you all know, its a difficult and complicated thing that we're all dealing with. I'm really excited to be more involved and I'm sending lots of love to all you on here !
He do I get more self control on the weekends ?
/u/taylizzle-
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:34:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qa14w/he_do_i_get_more_self_control_on_the_weekends/
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Ok so every weekend me and my boyfriend hang out because it’s like the only time we can. And we always end up buying food or going out to get pizza and things and it fucks me up cause I’ve been eating so well on the weekdays(500 cal restrictions and going to the gym to burn off calories) and then boom the weekends. My boyfriend already knows about my ed and lately checks to see if I have eaten or purged up my food so I have to seem normal when I’m around him, ughh it’s so Difficult .... well thanks for listening to my ted talks :)
[Rant/Rave] I love knowing im losing weight
/u/nowayjoseTA
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:29:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9qa03t/i_love_knowing_im_losing_weight/
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When I get cold and begin to shiver, I burn calories. I take the stairs to go up one floor and I burn a couple calories. I take five bites of a meal and I know my body will use it quickly, then continue to burn fat.
I learned to love being hungry. Maybe Im fucked in the head but being fat and being treated like shit my whole life was x1000 worse than being hungry will ever be. I hope I can reach my gw quickly
:)
[Help] Go-to Dunkin order?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:28:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9zrn/goto_dunkin_order/
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I wanna change mine up... looking for suggestions!
I binged on homemade chowder, so there's that.
/u/MiggMagg [5'2" | 107 | 20.27 | -0 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9ynu/i_binged_on_homemade_chowder_so_theres_that/
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So, I've been lurking on this sub for over a year now (I think) and haven't had the courage to post anything until now.
I've had an ED for a few years now, but I guess I never really accepted it until I hit my lowest weight last year. I've been pretty much abusing laxatives for 3 years straight and my doctors just keep telling me to drink water and eat celery to get back to normal, lol. Now I'm back up 10 pounds and it sucks. I'm trying to get back down to where I was before without binging, but God it's so hard. I'm going to try and actually do water fasting for the next few days, really push myself to reset my dang digestive system.
Anyways, it's really nice to have this place to talk and see others who are going through the same stuff. Not that I wish any misery upon you all at all! It's just that it's nice to know there are other people out there who get it.
Hoping to kick the lax soon. Here's to you guys.
[Rant/Rave] Just found out one of my favorite foods has dextrose in it....
/u/hamaesa [5'5|cw 105|gw 97|lw 87|F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:13:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9vya/just_found_out_one_of_my_favorite_foods_has/
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Vegan chocolate mousse. Sounds amazing, right? Well, I just found out they added dextrose to the new recipe. AFTER I ate an entire carton of it. Dextrose has one of the highest glycemic indexes of any sugar.... trying not to freak out right now but I can feel it all going to my hips!!!!! Ughhhh kill me, it must have been hundreds of calories!!!!
[Rant/Rave] I was down 3lbs..
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:13:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9vup/i_was_down_3lbs/
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Then I went on a mini trip with my bf’s family and ate sweets & drank non-sugar free soda and i’m pretty sure i’m up 500lbs now.
Crying over photos people post of you
/u/TheFlyInYourBeer
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:06:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9u62/crying_over_photos_people_post_of_you/
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Facebook is the worse invention in the world. My dad posted ugly photos of me looking so fat for all of Facebook to see. And he’s refusing to delete. Now I feel like shit on my birthday because every sees me in my trashy pajamas that I didn’t want the public seeing and I have to be reminded how fat I look when I can control the photo. :( today was such a good day and now it’s ruined.
[Discussion] reliving food/weight/body related humilation and trauma
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:06:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9u5v/reliving_foodweightbody_related_humilation_and/
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That post about our "most glamorous" ED moments got me thinking about all the comments and events related to food and my body in my youth that started is all:
* in the 5th grade my friends and I talked about our weight and as they were talking I realized mine was the highest and even when I lied my best friend still said "oh that's a lot" (even though looking back I was the 2nd tallest girl in 5th grade)
* my mom could not help but announce to all of jcpenny's that I had sized out of the kids section and turned into a fucking performance
* if I had seconds my mom graciously let me know (and still does to this day) that if I kept eating like that I was gonna get fat and "you don't want that"
* those men commenting on how big I was at my group tennis lessons despite being the oldest kid for our age group
* all the creepy attention I got when I was 11/12 because I "looked older"
* my mom humiliated me in an old navy during thanksgiving break one year because she insisted that I needed to go up a size and when we got to the cashier she asked her about the sizing of the pants. the cashier said that line could run small and after she said this my mom turned to me and said "ha!" as if to say "that's right fatty" but the jeans ended up fitting perfectly. I cried in the car and I haven't set foot in an old navy since
* every comment my mom has really ever made on my body or weight and constantly scrutinizing my clothes asking "Are you *sure* you need *that* size?" or "aren't those too tight" so we haven't gone shopping together in years
* my first night in my dorm my hall had dinner together and some of the girls side-eyed me for getting 3 slices of pizza so I ended up barely eating anything
and surprise surprise somehow I ended up with an ED
[Other] Garcinia Cambogia/Other Appetite Suppressants?
/u/ilikecocoakrispies [5'1 | HW: 140 | CW: 135 | GW:100 | 🍑:kyoops]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:04:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9tee/garcinia_cambogiaother_appetite_suppressants/
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I really need something to kill my appetite on a daily basis. I EC stack, but I found I cant take it for more than 2 days in a row (bc of anxiety and sleep issues) and the on the third day I end up bingeing. I've been prescribed prozac & wellbutrin(buproprion) but it has done absolutely nothing for my appetite. ADHD meds like adderall and vyvanse work wonders but my school psychiatrists will not prescribe them lol.
Has anyone tried garcinia cambogia on a daily basis before? Or any other appetite suppressing recommendations?
I want to get over my fear of carbs, advice appreciated
/u/lilmdjd [5’3 | CW: 130 | BMI: 23 | LW: 94| - 17| 23F ]
Created: Sun Oct 21 21:02:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9t40/i_want_to_get_over_my_fear_of_carbs_advice/
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A little background: my diet/Ed has been largely carb avoidant for most of my memory. My dad sent me to a dietician when I was young who basically told me they were the devil and to stop eating them. Since then, there’s only been one period of time (a few months of recovery) where I ate a normal amount of them.
Here’s my dilemma: I want to keep restricting. I want to lose. And I KNOW I can lose eating carbs. CICO you know? But I get so wrapped up in my fear of them and it ends up triggering binges. I love berries (and fruit in general but berries are the least scary ) and oatmeal. I just want to be able to reincorporate those two carbs into my diet without guilt but I’m scared. I’m scared I somehow won’t lose if I eat over 50g. But I feel like the reality is it would be more sustainable if I could handle eating small quantities and it maybe even would help reduce binges.
Has anyone had any luck facing an irrational fear food? I want to be able to restrict on small quantities of food I actually like. That’s my ultimate goal.
Looking thinner after a weekend of binges
/u/kitt3npunch
Created: Sun Oct 21 20:45:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9oto/looking_thinner_after_a_weekend_of_binges/
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My parents came to town this weekend (F-Sun) and took my husband and I out for every lunch and dinner. I caved and told myself 'it's only a weekend' and ate like a pig and now I look THINNER?? I spend so much time restricting and counting and then the one weekend I say fuck it all I look like I've lost weight what the FUCK but can't even enjoy it bc I know it'll all catch up to me if I kept it up, my life is a joke L O L
This is more discouraging than if I had gained for some reason bc it just reinforces that all my work doesn't mean shiiiiit
[Goal] What is your goal for this week?
/u/tobethinspo [5'0 (153.3 cm) | CW: 93.6 lbs | 18.97]
Created: Sun Oct 21 20:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9nhv/what_is_your_goal_for_this_week/
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Saw a post about it being a new week and how we can do it so thought I'd set a goal for myself and see if you guys wanted to as well, whatever it may be. Maybe we could check in at the end of the week?
My goal for this week is to purge only 3 times this week.
What is your goal for this week? Doesn't even have to be ED related!
[Rant/Rave] i can remember everything i’ve consumed for the entire week
/u/mwurhahahaha
Created: Sun Oct 21 20:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9mj0/i_can_remember_everything_ive_consumed_for_the/
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sometimes i don’t fill out my calorie intake for the week until sunday, and it’s surprisingly easy to recall everything i’ve eaten over the past seven days. even when i’m struggling a bit to remember what it was i ate tuesday afternoon, because i know i did, it’s filled out mentally, a gray area soaking the time of the day in my head - i almost feel sorry for the item, that i could forget it. a small, weird feeling that makes me feel bad. like, how could i forget something so important, something of value? and then i remember it was a goddamn snackpot with butter and bacon bits with 400 calories which ruins my budget and brings my weekly weight loss in the “normal” range, and i don’t feel sorry for it anymore. now i hate it LOL
but i also love it and i’ll eat it again HAHAH
[Rant/Rave] Missing out.
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Sun Oct 21 20:25:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9jl2/missing_out/
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Summary: I just need to dump my feelings and have a woe is me moment.
My life is such a fucking disaster. I always feel like shit. If I don't eat I feel like I got hit by a truck if I do eat I feel like garbage. The physical toll is destroying me.
I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss having a healthier relationship with food. I miss being a good employee, student, daughter, and friend. I miss not thinking about food 24/7. I miss being able to relax. I miss sleeping the right amount. I miss exercise being fun. I miss trying new restaurants. I miss eating foods simply because I enjoy them.
I'm so tired of it all and for what? A smaller size dress? Skinner legs? It's not even about how I look at this point. I'll never look the way I want, feel the way I want, be happy. I just want my life but instead I'm spending my last year of college dealing with this shit. It's all fucking garbage.
The worst part? I don't think I want to recover right now. It would just be too much work and too much energy. I'm just so tired.
This fucking disorder has taken everything from me and I just want to die already.
[Other] Switching back to vegetarian
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 20:19:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9i2h/switching_back_to_vegetarian/
---
I was vegetarian for a almost two years but this last 6 months I’ve been eating fish, I’m decided to stop eating fish again. Hopefully this will jump start my restriction and I’ll have to think harder about what I eat at the dining hall. No more tuna fish even tho I really like it :((( I have been a fake vegetarian for two long time to go back to good restriction.
[Rant/Rave] *salty bitchy rant* Hate recent body trends.
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Sun Oct 21 20:18:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9hux/salty_bitchy_rant_hate_recent_body_trends/
---
I could get behind thigh gap trend but having a huge ass and thick thighs, just looking at some celebrities or the trend of “fitspo” and healthy athletic body makes me want to vomit. I feel like I’m becoming weirder and weirder for wanting to be thin.
When I look at Kpop/jpop bands and singers and I see they are still skinny I’m so happy about that. This look was
Fashionable everywhere like 5 years ago. I feel they look young and feminine. But when I look at western celebrities and this huge ass trend, Brazilian butt lift etc. I feel like.. they’re so manly.. strong maybe but not pretty. Not delicate. Just ugly. will thin ever be okay again?! Will I be even more unloveable if I’m thin how I want to be, rather than with big boobs and a huge butt, defined abs etc? Defined muscles make me cringe. Even just a little. Even Jillian Michaels looks too big to me.kim kardashian. Nicki Minaj, all of them. I don’t like anyone these days. My thinspo collection no longer contains a single western celebrity.
Why can’t I learn to love that healthy body. I try. I tell myself those women are confident and happy and they probably can do more pushups than me etc but in the end I just can’t help thinking all of them are ...”fat”. In my head. To me.
What’s wrong with me
Vacation Isolation
/u/BleuBird18
Created: Sun Oct 21 20:07:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9exa/vacation_isolation/
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I am staying in a little cabin for two weeks, and there is no food anywhere. The fridge is perfectly empty except for some diet soda.
The nearest grocery store is 15 miles away on winding roads. Every time I feel hungry I remember all the steps involved with getting food, and it just doesn't seem worth it.
I hate eating in public, but now I am wondering if it's a secret weapon I failed to use up until now. If I ONLY allow myself to eat when others are around I won't be able to binge, I will feel even more guilty and revolting than I normally do.
It feels like I am kicking my 'Shame Game' up to a new level, and my twisted little brain is so happy right now.
55 hours into my fast and I can't wait to start seeing signs of progress. I have been erratic with my eating habits. Not losing, and not gaining. Fasting for a while only to binge.
I need to be thin again, I can't stand how much space my body takes up.
Here's to self-imposed isolation. 😈
Got called tiny
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Sun Oct 21 19:55:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9bt2/got_called_tiny/
---
My boyfriend friend told me that I’m tiny. If someone else can see it why can’t I?
[Discussion] Anyone else use modafinil?
/u/nonotfinished
Created: Sun Oct 21 19:49:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q9abm/anyone_else_use_modafinil/
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I got some online cos I've been struggling to focus on school and was so depressed i was totally dysfunctional and after a few days of taking it i noticed my appetite was way down and i had much more focus to exercise and not cop out on purging. before this i was wavering between skipping meals and binging & getting nowhere but now i have no problem and much better willpower and energy. I've lost about 5lb this week and more in the week+ before but i was still refusing to weigh myself then.
[Discussion] "Science of the Self" workshop: Body representation, misperception and eating disorders
/u/barkinglambs
Created: Sun Oct 21 19:36:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q96y0/science_of_the_self_workshop_body_representation/
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My uni is hosting this workshop on "Body representation, misperception and eating disorders". Some of the titles of the papers are:
* Evaluating the perceptual mechanisms underpinning body size misperception and their relation to eating disorder symptoms
* A two-factor account of false body size beliefs in anorexia nervosa
* Mechanisms attributing to body image disorder in anorexia nervosa patients
* Perception of body image in anorexia nervosa: A neurobiological perspective
* The Body Size and Shape Aftereffect: The influence of attention and fixation, and implications for understanding body image disturbance
I kinda want to go because it looks super interesting but may just be super triggering. Also it's not my area and I think people would be suspicious about why I might be there haha
Does the science behind EDs interest you guys much?
[Discussion] Would it bother you to date someone thinner than you?
/u/littlestpeach [5'7 | CW 118? | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 19:08:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8zs2/would_it_bother_you_to_date_someone_thinner_than/
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Helloooo! I was just wondering what you guys think of the idea of dating someone/being in a relationship with someone who’s thinner than you. Would it bother you to date someone thinner? Or would you maybe prefer it? Or do you not care about that whatsoever?
It turns out that my absolute best friend since middle school really likes me and I like him too~ Which sounds great right? The only issue is that he’s way thinner than me and he’s alwaaays been skinny and never even thinks or cares about food and ughfhfghh that’s the dream y’all. To be so effortlessly skinny.
And so I mean, I wouldn’t *not* date him just because he’s thinner than me, but it for sure makes me feel a million times more self conscious about myself and my body even though he constantly tells me how beautiful he thinks I am and just aaaaaahhhhhh I don’t know.
For some reason I feel like I HAVE to be thinner than my partner and I don’t know why I think that way but I just do :/ Can anyone relate? Do you guys prefer to date people who are bigger, smaller, the same size, or do you guys just not care about your partner’s weight in relation to yours?
[Rant/Rave] A comment that set me off
/u/papsandwiles [5"4 | 103 | 17.5 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 19:05:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8z14/a_comment_that_set_me_off/
---
So I was really struggling with my ED until about June, when I did a lot of research and basically decided to begin my own recovery by myself. Since then I've gained almost all the weight back and I'm doing better in so many ways, but it's so stressful to constantly self-manage maintaining my weight and frustrating that nobody around me really understands what I went through. I feel so alone and on top of it, I was never officially diagnosed and so it feels like I never got validation that my struggle was/is real.
Anyways today my older sister made a comment that really set me off. She went on and on about how much "healthier" I look and I'm so panicked because I know how much fatter I am and I feel like I failed at being thin enough and I want to restrict so so bad to say fuck her but I can't and I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Reassurance? You all are the only ones who understand. I love you beautiful folks and I hope you're all doing well wherever you are ❤
[Rant/Rave] Anyone else seen someone post this and been like...."not really"
/u/mladyisthename
Created: Sun Oct 21 18:50:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8v8r/anyone_else_seen_someone_post_this_and_been/
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https://i.redd.it/we84nfmzwmt11.jpg
God damn you, Instagram explore page
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Sun Oct 21 18:41:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8syl/god_damn_you_instagram_explore_page/
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https://i.redd.it/69apk50evmt11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] at least tomorrow is a new week
/u/sipapito [4'11" | cw: 111lbs | bmi: 22.6 | gw: 95lbs | 22f]
Created: Sun Oct 21 18:37:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8ryy/at_least_tomorrow_is_a_new_week/
---
I always feel like Monday can be a fresh start and I took a fat L today and ate everything in the house so I'm starting fresh and clean tomorrow and gonna have a good week. WHO'S W/ ME??
It was all good Until I got a new scale....
/u/mabver321 [5'1 | CW 134 | GW 100| -9| F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 18:26:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8ozv/it_was_all_good_until_i_got_a_new_scale/
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So my scale has been broken for a little over a month. At first it stressed me out a lot since i couldnt weigh myself but it also calmed my "im a disgusting pig" thoughts. I actually started to eat a bit more often and felt a little better...until i got a new scale. Now its back to step 1.Weighing myself every hour until im a skeleton.
[Discussion] Is anyone else miserable bc of a specific celebrity?
/u/Thrwaway829 [5'9 | 140 | 20.7| -45 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 18:04:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8j7o/is_anyone_else_miserable_bc_of_a_specific/
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Amal Clooney is so thin and gorgeous, but she's also brilliant and compassionate. I feel totally useless whenever I think about her, bc even if I get that thin I'll never be as intelligent and successful as she is and it's always a binge trigger. :\]
[Intro] New account who dis?
/u/succumbmum [5'3"| 160 | 28.3 | -80lbs | Lady]
Created: Sun Oct 21 18:04:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8j6u/new_account_who_dis/
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like many of you, I have followed for awhile but created a new account to be able to hide my shame.
this week was interesting because as I walked into my oldest Parent teacher conference and sat down my white monster, I noticed a familiar can on his teachers desk. We locked eyes after realizing we both had one, and it was like a flash of knowledge for both of us. His teacher was very thin, and I have lost 80lbs in the last 6 months, she knew, I knew, we knew. The meeting went great. exceeds all age and classroom standards, recommendation for after school STEM program due to his love of math and science.
[Rant/Rave] a self-indulgent rant about the nature of goal weights :/ bc nobody around me will understand
/u/itsoobak
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:54:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8gjz/a_selfindulgent_rant_about_the_nature_of_goal/
---
I turned twenty two weeks ago. I kept it pretty low-key -- in fact, if a friend hadn't planned an event for me, I would have just had let it go. No fireworks, no fuss. Just a girl and the realization that she was no longer just a girl.
It's funny, actually. The months leading up to my twentieth birthday were a little strange. See, I had set this ... goal of some sort to reach "by the time I turned twenty". As if 20 was some magical number that justified something life-changing.
I wanted to lose weight. I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't on some diet. I've been trying to lose weight since ... I think fourth grade was the first time when i had a major breakdown in front of my parents over being "fat". I knew I wasn't fat. i know I still am not objectively fat. But something about being tiny and almost invisible and taking up no space seems more grown up to me. How ridiculous is that?
The summer before I entered my freshman year of university I lost a tiny bit of weight. In fact, I reached the lowest weight that I had been since freshman year of high school. It wasn't even a low weight -- at 5'4", I had hit 120 lbs. A healthy, reasonable weight for a healthy, reasonable person. I went to college. Came back the next summer sitting at 130 lbs. That's fine. Lost back to 122. Went back to school. Came back after sophomore year at a whopping 142 lbs. This summer I lost the most I ever have in the shortest period of time -- 20 pounds in a month and a half. I would have lost even more, but I left to Europe. This semester I'm studying abroad. I have no access to a scale. But I've been eating much more than I can remember ever.
I told myself I'd lose weight by the time I was 20. I wanted to be 95 lbs. I wanted to be SKINNY. This all sounds crazy and mental to any normal person, but to me it was a goal. An attainable goal -- I had lost weight incredibly quickly over the summer and I was starting to look the best I ever had. It would have been so easy to keep going. I would have easily reached 95 by now. And I haven't.
I'm fatter than ever. I can feel it in the way my clothes fit, in the way my face looks in pictures, in how I can't fit through small spaces anymore. And I feel like a complete failure. I don't want to do anything. I can't bring myself to go out because I'm ... big. I can't go have meals with friends like normal people. I can't be seen out in public.
I wanted to be thin for my birthday because I told myself 20 would be when my life really began. I thought a weight loss transformation would completely change my outlook on everything. I felt like, maybe, you know, lots of people lose weight and they gain confidence and somehow become this super cool version of themselves and they get all the jobs and all the boyfriends and all the friends and love and money and everything. Everything that they've ever wanted.
I've wanted to be 20 for so long. I would finally be looked at as an adult, somebody who could contribute something to this world. And I wanted it to be on my terms. I wanted to be a better, smaller me who would somehow magically pull everything together because I would be twenty! and i would be thin!
Everyone says this is the time to enjoy life. I've been looking forward to my 20s ever since I could grasp the concept of what that age range meant for most people. This is the age people finally live life! Fully developed, (mostly) independent individuals, sometimes growing, sometimes stubborn, but just kinda ambling through life and enjoying it to its fullest because finally they can. This is when their life begins!
The months leading up to my birthday I was so excited. i thought, "I'm going to be so thin. and so pretty. and my life is going to be so. great." With each passing day i treated myself to something new. One cone of ice cream. One slice of cake. One slice of pizza. turns into an entire box of ice cream. An entire cake at once. Multiple pizzas. Eating my body weight in junk and sweets because "just this once can't hurt"
I worked so hard this summer. Before I left for this semester my mom said "don't let yourself get back to how you were...remember how that felt, and how hard you had to work to get there." I laughed in her face. I had worked SO. DAMN. HARD. I had an iron will. I had so much self-control. I was going to be a new me, and I was well on my way. The idea of twenty hung over my head, motivating but simultaneously taunting me. It was so ... close. I could taste it. a new life. a new me. nobody could take that from me.
But ... i took that from myself. I didn't let myself have that. And now I'm fat, and I'm 20, and my life will never begin.
[Help] HI CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE CONVINCE ME NOT TO START PURGING THXX
/u/BackgroundHole [5'5" | CW 126 | HW 136 | LW 119 | GW 105]
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:53:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8gis/hi_can_somebody_please_convince_me_not_to_start/
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so i just binged like 1000 calories and rn im REALLYYY FUCKING TEMPTED to purge it all out!! the thing is, i know if i start im not gonna be able to stop and im gonna hate it and its rly dangerous etc etc so i rly dont want to. but!! oh my god!! its so fucking tempting!! haha please help
sorry if this is kind of a low effort post pls dont ban me
[Rant/Rave] I ate at maintaince for 2 days and I feel horrible
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 |CW 117 | GW 115 | GW 105-110 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:53:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8gdt/i_ate_at_maintaince_for_2_days_and_i_feel_horrible/
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Before the weekend , I was 116 and I was finishing my 3 day fast. So Saturday comes and I get Bdubbs with my boyfriend and I feel safe eating with him so I had quite a few boneless wings and a few cheese cake bites. Then comes Sunday and we get Dunkin and i have three donuts and six munchkins and for lunch we had qdoba, so rice and steak. Now my scale says 123 and I feel terrible. I took 6 ex lax chocolate tabs and am downing water. All of my work has gone to waste. I'm fasting every day but Thursday starting today at noon. I know I shouldn't have taken all the ex lax but I panicked and couldn't vomit anything up. I hate myself so much rn. I wanna die. I'll never get to my goal weight eating like such a pig.
Why can't you eat like a normal person??
/u/succumbmum [5'3"| 160 | 28.3 | -80lbs | Lady]
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:52:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8g9z/why_cant_you_eat_like_a_normal_person/
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is what I asked my 7yr old this evening at dinner, as he pretended to be a cat while eating. I asked this from behind the counter where I was hiding and C/S my own "dinner".
[Discussion] Is anyone else triggered by people much younger than you are?
/u/hamaesa [5'5|cw 105|gw 97|lw 87|F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:31:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q8ai0/is_anyone_else_triggered_by_people_much_younger/
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This post might seem a bit pathetic, but it's been on my mind lately. I'm prepared to get downvoted into hell.
Today at the store I saw a girl several years younger than me (no more than 13 or 14!) and it just triggered the absolute hell out of me. She was so thin and pretty, with perfect, smooth skin and super skinny legs, a slender face, long hair.... I immediately thought, "I need to restrict so I can look like her. I want to look young and tiny."
Is this gross or??? Like sometimes it will be a kid even younger, and I'll feel jealous of their thin arms or smooth skin or big eyes. I'll think something like, "oh, I want to look young and childlike and delicate like them" and then I'll catch myself thinking that and be disgusted. Am I the only one in the world like this? Is this normal (at least, as far as eating disorders can be)?
[Other] Moth Coffee ???
/u/dikeid
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:21:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q87hg/moth_coffee/
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SO this morning I made myself a huuuuge cup of coffee (black, ofc, like my soul), sat outside in the sun with a book to wake up and have a bit of 'me time'...
Finish my coffee, look into the mug, and there is HALF a fucking enormous MOTH IN THE MUG !!
My reaction, of course, is to frantically google "calories in a moth" and have a nervous breakdown because I technically ate something before midday like wtf... betrayed by a moth...
Thought y'all would get a kick out of it though like... why did my brain go there... not "ew a moth", just straight to "ew calories" fuck me lmao
Hope everybody's morning was better than mine! Love ya'll
Craziest shit you did in recovery?
/u/thekroganrebellions
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:09:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q84ch/craziest_shit_you_did_in_recovery/
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When I was in a residential treatment center for my anorexia, I used to stock up on caffeinated tea and instant espresso during our weekly grocery outings and would drink up to 10+ espresso shots a day. I've always loved coffee and tea (but especially coffee lol), so I increased my caffeine consumption because it made me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation.
I also became super obsessive about making sure my make up was ~perfect~. I'd touch it up, and some times even scrub it off and reapply it, during every supervised restroom break. Some days I'd actually reapply it so many times that the skin around my eyes would get puffy and raw.
Anyways, since then I've relapsed, so my caffeine consumption is back in the normal range and I only touch up my make up 1-2 times a day.
What about y'all? Has anyone else ever picked up strange habits in order to cope with being unable to control their food intake?
[Discussion] anyone else in a binge eating spiral? (tw)
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 17:04:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q833z/anyone_else_in_a_binge_eating_spiral_tw/
---
for the last 2-3 weeks i’ve tried cutting down on purging, but i still binge eat like crazy.
I don’t even want to think about calories but I’m pretty sure i had ~3000 calories (my tdee is 1500) and it’s only 10am.
i know what i need to do to change. I need to sleep better. Immerse myself with friends and work. Keep myself busy. Avoid passing the shops on my way to uni. It’s just fucking hard to do in reality though.
I’ve been bingeing so much that the past few weeks have been an empty blur, like I’m constantly dissociated. I don’t even remember what I’ve binged on for each different day.
i REALLY GODDAMN WANT TO PURGE RIGHT NOW. i’m on my way to uni and can squeeze in a purge session but
1) i didnt have any fluid during my binge, so i need to buy water to scull and i never purge as well when i drink water after?
2) i’m vain af and don’t want my face to be puffy and eyes shot when I get to uni
please send advice and love, haven’t been a good place for a long time :(
[Rant/Rave] I fit into a large, finally
/u/fuckingilluminated
Created: Sun Oct 21 16:54:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q80b5/i_fit_into_a_large_finally/
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I've been buying size XL and larger for years. But this year for Halloween shopping I bought a size large Sexy Pirate costume at Walmart and it fit!
I've been depressed lately and sometimes I have to remind myself how far I've come.
[Rant/Rave] Fuckin walmart pizza
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Sun Oct 21 16:49:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7z0g/fuckin_walmart_pizza/
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So I havent had anything to eat today, and my family bought two walmart pizzas so I had a slice of each. Right after I spit up and I can taste the acid, my stomach hurt so much... Wtf I use to be able to eat like 3-4 slices no sweat but now its hard to even eat 2... Damn. My mom complained and said "its cause you dont eat enough so your body cant handle it" and shit she right
In need of an ana buddy!
/u/Skeleton_Spooky
Created: Sun Oct 21 16:33:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7ut0/in_need_of_an_ana_buddy/
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[removed]
Tell me about your weird exercise habits!
/u/DinosaursAndStarStuf [5'3.5 | 101.6 | 17.7 | 31F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 16:27:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7t0m/tell_me_about_your_weird_exercise_habits/
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I run, hike, and walk with my dog and have maintained an active lifestyle for the past decade or so.
But I also compulsively march in place in the shower/while getting ready - even if I've just finished a long 7mi+ run. I have to march for 2000 steps, and then do 200-500 extra, just in case I miscounted.
I also compulsively flex my abs because "sucking in" looks weird and obvious to me.
Tell me yours!!
I can’t stop stress eating
/u/LavenderLullabies
Created: Sun Oct 21 16:21:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7ric/i_cant_stop_stress_eating/
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I’ve had a severe cold/flu for two months that my body just can’t fight and as a result I’ve missed weeks of school and I’m failing every class. I’ve been so stressed about it that for the last week I’ve done nothing but eat garbage and cry and I’ve gained ten pounds already.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Eating is bad but starving doesn’t stop stress.
[Rant/Rave] (Rant/rave) I fit into kids sizes for the first time since I was 11
/u/800goat [5'6"| CW::cake: | GW: 106| M]
Created: Sun Oct 21 16:14:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7pno/rantrave_i_fit_into_kids_sizes_for_the_first_time/
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I went to a thrift store today and saw a kids XL shirt in the adult section and thought I'd give it a try 👀👀 it fit really well and was actually kind of baggy around the arms!! I didn't even like it that much but I bought it just so I could say that I wear a kids 14/16 lol
Obviously my ED brain thinks this is exciting but typing it out makes me realize it's pretty fucked up but oh well!! I'm fucked up!!! I was a chubby kid so it's been a while since I've owned anything from the kids section
[Other] When I binge? Did you mean ...
/u/Cocoleia [5'7 | CW ? | GW 111 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 16:08:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7nw9/when_i_binge_did_you_mean/
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https://i.redd.it/pcvgr0u04mt11.png
Spent my laundry money on energy drinks and washed my work uniform in the shower
/u/asunshinefix
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:58:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7l1p/spent_my_laundry_money_on_energy_drinks_and/
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I regret nothing.
[Help] So much Goddamn bullshit
/u/emotional_low [164cm | CW: 122lbs | -59lbs | 18F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:55:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7kb4/so_much_goddamn_bullshit/
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Okay so this is going to be a bit rambly, but I just needed somewhere to put my thoughts down/ talk to someone because my brain is driving me batshit crazy.
​
So I finally told my therapy person about my eating stuff.
But after I told her she said that I need to get it under control (which I do, I really really do) in order for her to keep seeing me. My anxiety has been getting worse (and so has my disordered behavior) and I just don't know what to do. I haven't got a lot of time left with her as it is, and I need to make it count, and as of now I am making no progress. Like ZERO (which makes me feel so shitty, because I just want to get better I'm just so tired of this bullshit). But I can't switch my disordered eating on and off just like that (like I can't switch my anxiety off) but I feel like she's treating it almost as though I can do that. She wants me to stop fasting, and to bring my intake up to at least 1600. She doesn't care if I'm tracking, she just (ahahhhaa *just*) wants me to increase my intake to be above that (with no additional exercise than what I'm doing now).
I want to stop but I just can't. I keep trying to eat normally and get better, but then I find myself binging, or fasting and I just can't stop. It's affecting my school work, my relationships, and now I might even have to change therapists too. I'm having bloodwork done (which I'm terrified about) and it's just AGHHHH. I don't have time or energy to deal with this bullshit. It's so much bullshit. Just utter bullshit everywhere. Like it's all on the walls, ugh. I got it on the sofa too, just, it's disgraceful really, just an *absolute mess. Like it's not gonna smell good anytime soon.*
Pretty much I don't know what I'm supposed to do. This has all blown up in my face, way more than I had imagined it would. It's like she wants me to recover just like that, but *I can't.* My anxeity is already bad enough, and doing what she wants me to do is going to make it even worse.
I've also got a school trip coming up and I have NO IDEA WTF I'M GONNA DO. People might (?) be watching what I'm eating bc I'm pretty sure some of the faculty is suspicious (maybe???), I won't be able to purge, and I won't be able to fast. But I'm terrified of gaining weight / maintaining. I also don't think I'm gonna have enough time to do all of the work I need to get done and just AHHHHHHHHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Just, my anxiety is so bad right now, my brain is SCREAMING AT ME AND I CAN'T MAKE IT SHUT UP. It woNT STOP.
I just want to stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes and scream LALALALALA and hope that once I'm finished all of this will have gone away and it'll be back to how it used to be.
​
I also binged to try and make it shut up, and maybe numb myself, but it backfired, and now I feel just as anxious (if not more).
Please help me I don't know what to do. It's just so overwhelming and I really can't take it any more of this. I don't want to be here or have to deal with any of it any longer.
[Discussion] So much for ugw
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:53:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7jsk/so_much_for_ugw/
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I've been teetering around 96 pounds lately but only feeling bigger than I used to be. Today I was flipping through an old notebook and came across a weight loss goal chart I'd doodled. My unrealistic goal weight was 96. I feel like crying. When did everyone else realize the cycle of being unhappy with their weight never ends? It makes me want to hit 80 pounds...
[Rant/Rave] Guys something new has happened
/u/FastestDickEver
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:38:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7fr6/guys_something_new_has_happened/
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I was trying on dresses (which is a depressing activity in itself) but I managed to find a really cute one and it’s only a bloody UK size 6!! I’ve never been this small before!!! And it wasn’t super tight either, I looked pretty damn cute. I brought it and I’m going to wear it when I take my boyfriend out for dinner on his birthday, hopefully he’ll think I look good 😅 the dress will also serve as a reminder not to eat too much so I can look small later on in the evening too 😅
[Rant/Rave] TMI but
/u/extraclevermongoose [5'7" 🐇 Underweight bmi 🐇 They/them]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:35:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7eo7/tmi_but/
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Super happy but this is something most normal people wouldn’t get and raving outside of here would out me BUT I am finally able to go normally without using laxatives and I am so overjoyed 🤣 I thought this day would never come.
[Help] Does anyone here workout while fasting on ephedrine? Opinions on it?
/u/Tsuyu_irl [5'2"💙124lbs💙22.4💙Fem💙]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:30:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7dd3/does_anyone_here_workout_while_fasting_on/
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Title. I'd like to do some cardio or HIIT while on it. It would be like taking preworkout on an empty stomach right? I did that when I went to the gym since I hated working out with food in me.
BUT IT’S FOR SCHOOL!!!!
/u/monkychunky
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:26:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7c2t/but_its_for_school/
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thought you guys would enjoy this lol
I’m a design student and am starting an assignment abt photo manipulation. we r supposed to pick a theme to design an alphabet with, and I chose fast food! this means that i just went to mcdonalds and got a huge gross beautiful meal that im going to tear apart and reassemble in the shapes of letters n shit. maybe eat it afterwards, maybe cry, idk. lmao four thousand times
[Help] Anxiety with EC stacking?
/u/truemearoundyou [5'7.5 | 110 | -10lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:25:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7bu1/anxiety_with_ec_stacking/
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hey y’all! how ya doin’.
i’ve done EC staking in conjunction with adderall for a while now. i was also taking a low dose of xanax bc of my anxiety.
i decided i wanted to get off of all my prescription medications because they were fucking with my brain chemistry a little bit. the issue is that i’m still doing EC stacks so I don’t get fat.
without taking my xanax, i’m finding that my anxiety is getting ridiculous whenever i’m doing 1 bronk + 200mg caffeine pill. has anyone else dealt with this? what’s helped you?
[Rant/Rave] WOW I FUCKED UP
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:23:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7bf2/wow_i_fucked_up/
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i went to an event with my friends over the weekend, tried to eat like a normal person, ended up bingeing every single day and purging about 1/3 of it. was 96 lbs on friday, just got back to my scale, and i’m 102 without even eating anything today. i’m ready to be murdered at any time, thanks!!
[Discussion] DAE Get sick and just....UGH?
/u/Death_by_Hedgehog [5'5" | 113 | 21F | GW: 102]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:20:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7ak6/dae_get_sick_and_justugh/
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Have had the flu for a week now and kinda just want to die? Like, having to try to force myself to eat stuff sometimes in the hopes I'll get better eventually, but ugh. Kinda want to just lay in bed, Nyquil, and be left to my suffering. Depression is the lowest it's been in a long time, feel like a horrible person, and ED is really bad after being like semi-okay for two weeks. The only good-ish thing is I can't purge because my throat hurts way too much so...that's good I think???
Side note: Week long flu and still getting worse instead of better. Fever for a week. When should I go see a doctor about this? It's getting miserable. My bf keeps having to help me in and out of the shower and it's kinda awful.
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] My thought chain led to this personal discovery. This was a rant turned into a backstory/introduction. LONG AF. Totally sending this link to my therapist.
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:19:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7abl/rant_my_thought_chain_led_to_this_personal/
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Sometimes I feel strange if someone says "wow! You're looking great! Do you feel better?"
Um, this weight loss was drug induced and broke induced and homeless induced and then I took it back to the disordered eating mindset seeking controlling something amidst chaos and really clinging to that desire to disappear from sight. I just kinda put it together today that somehow I was forming a dark pattern of behavior at age 4 even.
Body dysphoria about young childhood pics. Just rambled on another comment and made me think of this.
Trauma at age 2-3. I can remember it. Then I ballooned up from being a normal toddler to a FAT kid and I can't stand those pics. I can't look back and see a happy little girl. I see a little girl that already hurt way too much and just wanted to eat and eat because food tasted good and it made me fat and fat is ugly right? so then I noticed people paid less attention to me. Except for the kids at school that teased. And the doctor talking about my 90% percentile high weight kinda fat child. But if people weren't paying attention, did I exist? So I just ate and ate because it tasted good and that made me happy. And I noticed people were actually looking at me less and talking to me less and avoiding the ugly red fat girl. Kids are mean.
I was making myself bigger to disappear then because i was a kid. And kids want to feel happy. But if people *weren't even looking at me*, did I just disappear? Invisible power. So I kept eating because I noticed that if nobody could see me, then they couldn't hurt me. And kids also want to feel safe.
But I still felt it at 4 years old being a fat kid on the playground that I looked different than other kids. I ran slower. I got out of breath and red and sweaty first. And I felt ugly. And I felt wrong in my body. And then I was 9 and some more trauma happened because I was in a stage of revictimization, which happened very often throughout my teens afterward. But then came the hormones and the crazy (future BPD).
My identity formed around trauma event, "I am wrong and bad" mantra, attempt feel good from food, body reflects unhealthy calorie consumption, doctor prescribed weight loss age 10-12, psych med side effects in teens, balloon to 5'3" 225 high weight and I used the invisible power as much as possible when I wasn't having an embarrassing angry outburst. I would sleep through class. People from HS have search deep in their memory to remember me and some never would. I interacted with very few because I had the disappearing fat that made you safe from actually finding someone to treat you mind and body well. And of course I'm negatively obsessed with how I couldn't get a real boyfriend if I tried because I was ugly and bad and wrong. I never even cared about the boys. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted someone else to make me feel safe and when they didn't make me feel that way and fell short of my need - or it made feel worse with more revicitimizing -
And I ended up with herpes at 18 and I thought my life was over. I'm bad and wrong and gross and now I'm dirty. Took 7 years to feel any sort of consistently better about the herpes because of the stigmas. And the challenge of being fat and crazy! (And all the other bad things ringing in my head).
And to top it off, I finally pursued women and realized I don't really enjoy the company of men in general but can sometimes have physical fun because I'm basically homoflexible these days. I don't feel safe with men because of self-preservation instincts driving me away from them after trauma and revictimization flinging back toward men who at best didn't build me up and treat me well, or at worst took more away from me.
Okay so now I'm 28. All the bad things this year have been so stressful. I have lost 50 to 55lbs since Jan. But with mild restriction and hooping and heavy restriction and purging anything over 500 to 800 cals and binges and purging to not feel anything in my stomach and purging to have an empty stomach for better drug absorption and doing a hard drug that was highly against your plans for your life (or anyone who would bother to look at the fat sick 5 year old child and make her somehow feel safe and happy and healthy). Jesus fucking christ somebody should have paid attention.
I had parents but they were overwhelmed with life and withdrawn and depressive and bent to the husband's wishes always (mom) a jerk who teased us kids (stepdad) and a dad who was busy marrying 6 women in total, my mom was #2. My relationship with my dad improved a lot and I bonded even closer to my dad over my 20s despite him paying more attention to his marriages than his crazy hormonal teenager (who, inside, was still a fat sick 5 year old child who wanted to feel safe and happy and healthy.)
I purged at 12 or 13 after school for the first time because I ate a brownie at my grandma's house and went over my weight watcher points. I hated school pictures always. I couldn't play the same things at recess or in PE as a kid and I felt ashamed. I was so young to be so upset about my body and not paid more goddamn attention to.
I have been called an attention seeker. I fucking SHOULD be. I was a child who needed attention to feel safe and happy and healthy and also LOVED. I was the problem kid, the 4th kid, the step kid, the redhead. Mom just ignored and denied as if the problems would just clear up and certain things weren't discovered until far too late, but her response made me feel brushed off and minimized because my mom was defensive of her inability to keep me safe, happy, healthy and loved. And she hadn't learned by 16 either and never will.
My dad learned. He told me he wished he'd done a better job of keeping me safe and teaching me how to keep myself safe. But I knew I could call him if I was ever unsafe (and I called him when I overdosed, when I needed stitches... for everything). His visits would make me happy because we became friends and drink a beer and smoke a bowl play cards or Farkle or just sit and shoot the shit about politics. He would hang out while I was learning hula hoop flow dancing and text on his phone. He had a key.
He really learned to make me feel loved.
And then in April he died suddenly overnight of a heart attack. My better parent died. The one who learned how to give me what I needed as his adult child. The one who realized at 28 I'm still just that same fucking 5 year old. Still stuck on self-loathing and body image and dove headfirst into the deep end of disordered behavior. The one thing that sticks with me from my recent hard drug punishment is how disgusted I was by food. Didn't eat for two days. I don't know what is too much to lose how fast but we all know our habits are unhealthy but we just can't fucking stop the obsession. I'm not thin enough to be paid attention to, have no medical supervision over my weight charting the stark trend, only therapy. And my individual therapists know about my disordered eating...
But the second addiction and high risk behavior group leader I have is the one who most recently made that positive comment about my weight loss. Thank you, Carol, that is really validating for me, it's telling me to keep up the good work of my terribly unhealthy eating disorder behaviors going. But you don't know all of this stuff above so I didn't get upset by your comment and fly off the handle. And you didn't know I was not sober at all during our group. And that I had a very heavy-hearted therapy session just prior. And neither of us knew I would be having an entire breakdown and identity crisis this weekend. Nor did we know that I would actually collapse this morning, from dehydration and heavy restriction. Stood up and walked across the room too fast, my vision faded to black and my legs gave out and I was on the floor.
But, Carol, I wasn't FAT on the floor. (Well yes I was but not as fat as I was a decade ago). And I look passably attractive now (but only in clothes). I do like getting dressed a lot more now and I look forward to the day my new tight jeans are falling off.
I really do want to thank Carol though because this introspection honestly organized and explained some parts of my life to myself in a way I never understood before. This is now a little map for my individual therapist, Sharon. And she can help me politely remind Carol that commenting on client weight loss is a minefield. Especially in our group for high risk behaviors. Addiction, alcoholism, eating disorders, risky sex, poor impulse control (video games porn, etc)... Absent-minded innocent well-intentioned comment by Carol. But you never know the reason behind the weight loss. I don't comment on reproductive choices, divorce, or weight lose until I know more about how the person feels about this situation. I don't want kids... so my friends know if I called them to say I was pregnant I would be hysterical - it is not a congratulations celebration moment. Is my acquaintance getting divorced? Until I glean more intel to find out... are they excited to finally get out? Great! Let's get celebratory divorce drinks and dance with new people! Are they devastated? Oh no! Let's get depressed divorce drinks and eat bar food and cry until your mascara runs. A friend of mine worked hard on healthy diet and exercise and lost 75lbs total over 2-3 years! That's a congratulations. My 55lb loss is more of a silver-lining of drugs habits and eating disorders and extreme stress and grief. Someone else's reason might be cancer or unidentified at all and freaking them out.
Making my body's weight a topic for polite small talk is actually rather impolite, even if unintentional. But for Carol to know this, she would have to be paying closer attention to my details but I'm not on her case load unloading in individual therapy. Sharon is paying attention but I don't know how close to the weight loss because I have a clusterfuck of dangerous unhealthy unwanted habits. At least this one makes me pretty, the drugs make me feel like living death. So to answer your question Carol, sure! I do look great (normal weight is better than obese and i will look better at any cost because pretty is good and fat is bad and I want to feel more bones. I want to get so hot and still not let anyone touch.) But do I fucking sound like I feel any better?
Anybody else upset about some dumb ED bullshit today?
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:19:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q7a3e/anybody_else_upset_about_some_dumb_ed_bullshit/
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I looked up how much bones weigh this morning and apparently your skeleton weighs roughly 10-15% of your body weight and my disordered ass legit teared up at how much that was. Skin weighs even more, about 20 pounds (9kg) or more in adults. I feel like normal people would find that interesting, not distressing, but oh boy. These facts are ruining my day.
[Rant/Rave] Ruining sister's birthday with food fear
/u/Enduanna
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:13:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q78e8/ruining_sisters_birthday_with_food_fear/
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(I haven't been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I binge, purge, fast, use thinspo, use laxatives, and obsess over what I eat. My mind can be pretty fatlogicky and my fear foods are radically different from most here. I'm not trying to seek med advice, glamorize anything or intrude on real sufferers, so mods feel free to delete this.)
For weeks I've been eating better, mainly avoiding carby sweets. I bitch at my dad for no reason when he feels the need to buy: family packs of food no one but me eats (instant grits, oatmeal) a full pumpkin pie, snack cakes, etc. My skinny siblings get full off nothing, and never want this stuff, despite my subtle attempts to feed them. So it sits there, taunting me.
Today I pull out the pie to creepily sniff it before I push it back like always. But this time I. Want. It. I scoop a bit with my finger and taste it. No clean dishes in sight, I try to even the piece out by tearing an even piece (and fail.) I tear an even bigger piece until it's finally even. Not wanting to waste it, and figuring I can forgive myself for this tiny screw up, I eat the filling and discard the crust over the trash, with my hands like a fucking raccoon.
I've been so depressed since this, beating myself up over how heavy I feel (even though I'm down 10lbs this month) and how my body is ruined now. I was about to seriously turn down going out with my sis and fam for dinner to purge. But I figure only the healthy food would come up (my biggest concern.)
I'm out now, but my brother keeps joking about how depressed I look and my sis keeps nudging me to eat. I think she knows. It's her birthday and I've made it all about me by being too insipid to value her over pie.
Share experience
/u/lliizzzzzzzzzz
Created: Sun Oct 21 15:09:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q77ca/share_experience/
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I'm a little over a year into my recovery - I went to an IOP program for several months and have been in outpatient ever since my insurance denied coverage. I'm doing well, but definitely still struggle.
I am curious to find out more about people's experience in recovery, especially to find out what helps others and hear some positive recovery motivation.
I created a short (anonymous!) survey (link below) OR if your answers are completely pro-recovery and not triggering posting here might be helpful for others. If you want to see any of the results, please DM me, happy to share!
[https://goo.gl/forms/ScWPjUzVHCtRJX6w1](https://goo.gl/forms/ScWPjUzVHCtRJX6w1)
* What is your current place in recovery?
* Do you currently go to therapy? Individual and/or group?
* (if applicable) Does insurance pay for your treatment?
* What are the top 5 triggers for you right now?
* (if applicable) What factors or situations have caused you to relapse in the past?
* What are some of the most helpful things to get back on track with you are struggling?
* What does "recovered" mean for you?
* Do you use any media or technology to help with recovery? If so, what is helpful?
* What advice would you give someone who is thinking about starting recover?
If recovered:
* What do you feel the most crucial factors during your outpatient experience were to contribute to your recovery?
* If recovered, what are some personal characteristics/circumstances do you attribute your success to?
Thanks!
[Rant/Rave] Forced myself to eat and it sucked
/u/CS191
Created: Sun Oct 21 14:45:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q704r/forced_myself_to_eat_and_it_sucked/
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My parents left me home alone for a few days, but left a ton of food for me to eat (they’re suspicious of my eating habits). I had zero appetite, which is super weird for me, but I went out and got lunch and some more food I’d been craving. Figured I could tell my parents I was eating and send pictures of my super yummy food and pretend it’s all good here.
So I forced myself to eat with full intentions of purging (because my messed up mind doesn’t see purging as bad as throwing out perfectly good food), hoping to satisfy my period cravings, get rid of food, and restrict the next few days, and it sucked. I didn’t want to eat, and I couldn’t even properly stuff myself. I can’t even call it a binge. I had a normal portion of lunch, half a pint of ice cream, a slice of toast with nutella and a small chocolate croissant.
I purged, and I feel so terrible, physically and emotionally. I’m drained, tired, sad, and just being miserable, sipping electrolytes because I feel like shit and I don’t want to pass out or something.
I hate that I’ve reached that point where I can’t even enjoy food most days. I eat to get it over with, because my parents force me or I force myself in an effort to stay “healthy”.
I’m a rambling mess and I don’t know what to do anymore. Most days I’m working on high restricting (~1000, and I burn about 350 running every day), but I’ve plateaued and I need to use these days alone to get back on track. I’m bloated, stressed, sad, and have so much work to do. I just needed to let it all out and rant.
[Other] How to lose water weight quickly?
/u/iamthedonquixote [5'5" | CW: too much | gross | GW: 115| F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 14:35:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6x4p/how_to_lose_water_weight_quickly/
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I’m literally sitting in a wool onesie, drinking hot water, covered in blankets, just to sweat out water weight.
I don’t want to be bloated tomorrow. Any advice?
Public shoutout to how AMAZING water is!
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Sun Oct 21 14:31:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6w4n/public_shoutout_to_how_amazing_water_is/
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Rarely drink it, anytime id drink a load is if i od'd and the hospital made me drink to flush out the pills
I heard about water retention and to get rid of it, you need to drink more water and that you can potentially lose 10lbs that way. Was on that like hot cakes
I drank 2 litres today and never have a i felt so happy, elated, alert, calm and even not hungry too!
This will be my number 1 advice for everyone, drink water. Its actually fucking awesome. Im on a water fucking high rn
[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I loath my body
/u/Hollyfoot [5’9” | 95lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 21 14:30:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6vry/rant_i_loath_my_body/
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I’ve lost almost well over 150lbs over the course of two years. I never thought I’d make it this far, and stay at this weight for a few months.
I’m embarrassed. I hate how tiny and gross my arms are. It’s so obvious to everyone that I have a problem. People always trying to feed me. I feel so guilty when people spend their own money on cookies or crisps for me, or try and take me out for ice cream of whatever.
I can feel their pity and judgement when I order a salad every time we go out.
I hate feeling dizzy and weak all of the time. It takes the power of five grown men to open my front door.
And the cold. I cannot stand the cold.
I cannot stand shivering in front of a space heater or freezing in an extremely hot bath.
I’ve made my mother cry, and I’ve burned so many bridges for my disorder.
I want to stop, but I don’t want to lose the feeling of control that I have. I feel bad because everyone wants to have my BMI, but it sucks. I hate what I’ve become and I don’t know where else I can vent. I’m sorry. )-:
[Rant/Rave] Ruined my progress, also how much calories do you retain? (TW purging, calories)
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 23.5” waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Sun Oct 21 14:28:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6v8o/ruined_my_progress_also_how_much_calories_do_you/
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I've just gotten myself out of a binge-spell, high restricting to 800-1000 calories not counting activity. I decided not to start any fasts right out of my binge phase because it'll only put me in another terrible cycle.
After 6 days, I decided to treat myself to a can of sweet thai chili almonds. I planned to just have 2 servings (340 cal), 2 One bars (450 cal) and some strawberries (100 cal)
ANYWAY, i ate the nuts the last and convinced myself it would be fine to have more... I ate the whole can (1020) and purged it all in about 2 minutes?? lol...... I always assume I retain 60% calories after my binges because if it were 90% im sure i'd be obese by now.
I feel terrible....mainly because I really want to stop purging and i had gone 6 days and couldnt even make it to a week...also thought i'd gained some form of self control but turns out i was wrong! :-)
[Other] Finally feeling skinny- wore something cute to a concert last night! I’m proud of myself ☺️
/u/angerypeech
Created: Sun Oct 21 14:08:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6owh/finally_feeling_skinny_wore_something_cute_to_a/
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https://i.redd.it/x46n1edgilt11.jpg
[Goal] shsksks my hipbones finally fucking stick out i’m so happy. my ribs also protrude a little bit. i still have lots to lose but i feel absolutely amazing xx
/u/orangeinfusedbanana [15F | 5’8 | UGW: 100 | fat bitch :^)]
Created: Sun Oct 21 14:07:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6opc/shsksks_my_hipbones_finally_fucking_stick_out_im/
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Baggy summer clothes
/u/Jwish91
Created: Sun Oct 21 13:46:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6i01/baggy_summer_clothes/
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I’m in Australia so we are currently in spring, summer will begin start of December. All winter I wear trackies and over sized hoodies. I’m finding it really hard to dress for the warmer weather. Some days I don’t mind but other days I hate looking at my body. I can only wear trackies so much as the weather is getting warmer.
What are your go to baggy clothes for warmer weather?
[Rant/Rave] DAE want to be skinny so you can feel like you’re worth your bf?
/u/Rosebug1717
Created: Sun Oct 21 13:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6cii/dae_want_to_be_skinny_so_you_can_feel_like_youre/
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My bf is attractive and I’m not saying that to be bias but he has been asked to model and girls do double takes when they see him. I get some unwanted attention too but still feel super insecure and of course pudgy and I often feel like people look at us and think “oh why is that attractive boy with such a pudgy girl”. I feel like so beneath him and he always says otherwise but like I feel like I need to somehow measure up to him. Every time I look at him I think he should be with a model. Since being with him I’ve lost 10lbs because I feel like I need to catch up and feel like I should fit as his gf. Anyway that’s my senseless rant. Anyway else feel like this?
You know...food tastes a lot better when you are starving yourself.
/u/rosepetalmemories
Created: Sun Oct 21 13:24:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6bgw/you_knowfood_tastes_a_lot_better_when_you_are/
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I'm trying to stay below 750 cal a day. I've noticed the food I eat seems to taste a lot better than it used to. I kinda feel like I have something to look forward to. I feel less depressed when I'm hungry.
[Rant/Rave] Traveling with Boyfriends Mom
/u/waverliethelane
Created: Sun Oct 21 13:24:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q6bfh/traveling_with_boyfriends_mom/
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So this weekend I spent the night with my boyfriends mom in a hotel for his birthday. When we were headed to the hotel she asked me what my nightly routine was.
I internally panicked because I know at night I do sit ups, body check, and stretches. However I didn’t want to seem weird. So I tried to seem as normal as possible.
Yet, earlier I had a cookie, chick fil a fries, and ramen.
What did I wanna do ? I wanted to burn off all of that with sit ups. I couldn’t !!! She was there the whole time and I was antsy.
So once she got in the shower I did all the work I could do (she took a quick shower which made me frustrated, but whatever)
So then, this morning (I normally weigh myself , but I couldn’t because no scale (should I start bringing my scale with me) so that grind my gears) I was scared to eat breakfast because I didn’t know how much to base the day on because I couldn’t weigh myself . So just in case I did a power walk around the hotel. Then I watched her get three plates of food, oatmeal, a bagel, and more! And I’ll I could think was wow , must be nice to not worry about carbs or calories. Then she made me self conscious because she kept commenting on the little bit of food I was eating and I’m like , will you eat your calorie dense meal and let me be please .
Moral of the story? I’m gonna start either carrying my scale, or staying at home .
Gamers with late night snacking habits?
/u/Exs-dee
Created: Sun Oct 21 12:35:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5wig/gamers_with_late_night_snacking_habits/
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i know some people use video games to not eat but it goes the *other way* with me and i don't know how to stop/fix. sometimes it leads to a straight up binge. but i can't not play video games 1) that would just make me more depressed overall 2) most of my friends are gamers and that's how we interact
anyone else have a game-snack correlation?
[Rant/Rave] I got to meet Hobo Johnson and I look like a whale
/u/lightswornmomma
Created: Sun Oct 21 12:31:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5vd0/i_got_to_meet_hobo_johnson_and_i_look_like_a_whale/
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https://i.redd.it/xtfvdonc1lt11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I fit a small!
/u/mmblarg
Created: Sun Oct 21 12:16:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5r0h/i_fit_a_small/
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In men’s 😜 i’ll take it haha. All i wear are men’s hoodies anyways
[Rant/Rave] 2 cookies - oh great
/u/sipapito [4'11" | cw: 111lbs | bmi: 22.6 | gw: 95lbs | 22f]
Created: Sun Oct 21 12:12:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5ptx/2_cookies_oh_great/
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i wanted something sweet and instead of having just a bite of a cookie, i grabbed 2 and scampered off to my room with them. While i was eating the first on, i did admit to myself that the bite was satisfying and I could definitely just save the rest for later but lo and behold i ate the rest of it and the second one too. It's really not that much but it made me feel out of control and that's really the worst part. I know i haven't really done too much damage to my calories for the day because i might've ended up eating them anyway, it's just that i know i didn't plan it and now it's only 2pm and i've already had my sweets. ugh. i'm going to try to make some low cal but super savory soup for dinner. savory is always more satisfying to me anyways.
[Other] We got this
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 109 | 17.1 | 19F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 12:10:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5p9l/we_got_this/
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I really fucked up all of last week. This week WILL be different. Anyone else who needs a kick start for a good week, I’m in your corner. We will be better.
[Tip] So yummy!
/u/johanna0318
Created: Sun Oct 21 11:48:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5ip3/so_yummy/
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I decided after reading someone else's post yesterday, that I'm going to get my shit together. So I made veggie soup and prepped a bunch of stuff for salads for lunch at work. While shopping I bought shirataki noodles. They are so good!! And filling, SOOOO filling!!
[Help] Ana buddy
/u/emlae_reddit
Created: Sun Oct 21 11:34:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5eoo/ana_buddy/
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[removed]
Half marathon
/u/ie63 [5'6 | CW:196 | GW:125 | -38 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 11:20:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q5aa9/half_marathon/
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Ran a half marathon this morning.. I thought I was going to die/pass out.. but did I take the powerade at the water stations.. hell no that shits not powerade zero 😤... But I finished (yay) now to still keep my calories under 700kcal eventhough I probably burned SO many today. Yay me 😅
[Rant/Rave] [RANT] My shitty flatmates are just making me skinnier xxx
/u/happy_but_unhappy [5'9 |CW 118.8 | 17.5 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Oct 21 11:04:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q55de/rant_my_shitty_flatmates_are_just_making_me/
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So, my flatmates and I have a rocky relationship because they're hella volatile. Yesterday one came up to me and asked if we could have a fresh start to which I implied I didn't want to be his friend but there's no harm in being civil (LIKE I HAVE BEEN FOR MONTHS).
Later another flatmate came in and I spoke with her saying how much I appreciated him coming to me but I don't think we could ever be friends due to lack of trust.
They both went off for dinner and when they came back I got a LENGTHLY text message telling me how horrible a person I was and that I twisted what he said and what I said back etc... So clearly the other flatmate has said something I'm not aware of or he's misinterpreted.
So I calmly replied that I was sorry if I didn't convey it well but I'm not interested in being his friend, only civil due to trust.
Today I can hear them ranting in the kitchen about me saying how I'm disgusting and horrible and how I never take out the bins or clean the kitchen (which is literally all I do). They know I have a big exam coming up so they're as much noise as possible outside my door, "testing" the fire alarms etc....
Maybe I should just live off of pot noodles and multivitamins for a year? I really don't want to go in the kitchen again... how do I deal with this? They're so nasty
Those last 3 hours awake.
/u/astorysofar
Created: Sun Oct 21 11:00:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q54e9/those_last_3_hours_awake/
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Are the fucking worst , and hardest to not B/P. If I can get a few days of fasting under my belt everything works out smoothly for weeks. I try “safe” foods but will binge 2 bags of riced cauliflower before moving on to cereal or something.
Short of getting silly drunk for those three hours, I can’t redirect the thoughts, maybe sleeping pills? Ugh
New job offer...excited and nervous
/u/empTXistence
Created: Sun Oct 21 10:56:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q52wi/new_job_offerexcited_and_nervous/
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So my friends, I got offered a job yesterday and its exciting but it makes me nervous. It's out here in the oil fields in Texas and its very lucrative.
Just staying at the work camp (yep heard that right), ill be making as much as I do now. And then they hourly for every hour I'm actually working while at the camp is $16/hr starting and they're averaging 60 hour weeks. This week my friend that got me the job pulled 105 hours. I'm going to be rolling in dough! And raises are very frequent due to the turnover.
And I'll be away from food and civilization for 3 weeks at a time. 3 weeks on, one week off. Just bring enough to keep my body energized, as ill essentially be working out 10+ hours a day.
So with those kind of hours and the kind of work ill be doing, it's kind of a workaholic ana dream.
I'm taking it.
Fuck YES!
Wish me luck.
Is Anyone Else's ED Fueled by Men's "Approval" (and feel rather guilty about it?)
/u/stupidminnow
Created: Sun Oct 21 10:43:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4yyo/is_anyone_elses_ed_fueled_by_mens_approval_and/
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*Apologies in advance for the heternormative title of this post, obviously interpret this as the approval of *whoever* you're attracted to*
High school me would be so disappointed in current me, letting all my self-worth be completely dependent on the verbal "approval" of the men I'm attracted to.
I snapchat a lot of pictures to the current guy I'm seeing and if he responds positively I'm just lit.the.fuck.up. the rest of the day. I'll even screenshot his response and look at it over and over. I haven't seen him in almost a month now due to both of us traveling a lot and my SOLE motivation to not binge/purge this last week is knowing I'm finally going to see him in a couple days. Not because of how fucked my gums are or that I'm pretty certain I've permanently damaged my esophagus from a recent B/P frenzy while I had my place to myself for several weeks, but no, all this starving and gym time and pledge to not jam my fingers down my throat is for some damn dick.
the sickest thing
/u/fruitsaladsthrowaway
Created: Sun Oct 21 10:27:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4uch/the_sickest_thing/
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i'm pretty new to the game of EDNOS but restricting, fasting, B&P,, i've done it all.
Small inconvenience tho:: i dont own a scale (live with parents) to keep track of progress
tonight im going to a friend for a dinner party (its alright i ate next to nothing today) and i cant wait to weigh myself on their scale.
isnt that the sickest thing
When your mom sends you a list of her safe foods and it validates everything your doing in your mind even though you hate her
/u/sadboyofearth
Created: Sun Oct 21 10:04:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4n84/when_your_mom_sends_you_a_list_of_her_safe_foods/
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https://i.redd.it/we9uvt81bkt11.jpg
Does ephedrine really work? Is it dangerous?
/u/GameofLoans16 [5'2.5'' | Too high | Too high | Not enough | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 09:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4h59/does_ephedrine_really_work_is_it_dangerous/
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I’ve never taken ephedrine, but I’ve heard of some bodybuilders taking it because it leads to “short term fat loss,” supposedly. The only stimulant I’ve ever taken is caffeine in coffee.
Is it like Aderall? I’ve never taken Aderall either but my friend’s sister took it for ADD and lost like 20 lbs (and she was already very thin).
I’ve read that ephedrine can cause heart issues, insomnia, etc, which is why I’m hesitating.
[Discussion] DAE watch stuff like "secret eaters", mukbangs, food reviews, etc as distraction?
/u/sipapito [4'11" | cw: 111lbs | bmi: 22.6 | gw: 95lbs | 22f]
Created: Sun Oct 21 09:42:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4h0h/dae_watch_stuff_like_secret_eaters_mukbangs_food/
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I've been watching secret eaters all day and wowie it's a good distraction from being hungry. makes me super self aware of what I'm eating and is also really interesting to watch people who are so unmindful about what they put in their bodies
[Discussion] Fat Asians? How do you restrict around our rice culture and family cooking? Do you find easier to lose weight on Asian food only?
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Sun Oct 21 09:35:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4f1w/fat_asians_how_do_you_restrict_around_our_rice/
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I prefer to eat a Japanese diet and our family eats a lot of korean food too (we are a mixed family). Mom makes all her banchan without added sugar. The dudes in my family would give up vegetables and eat just meat forever so we have a lot of meat too. Mostly chicken actually because it’s cheaper. Because I like to eat food with white or mixed rice and join in family meals, I prefer to intermittent fast and eat my 800-1000 cal a day at evening meal. That way if I’m full up I can sometimes go sleep on 500 cal or if I eat high calorie fried food like deep fried shellfish, tempura etc I can fit it in without feeling so bad.
I’m trying to not purge because if I start purging I give myself permission to binge. Then I eat things that are too difficult to purge.
By the way I’m actually no longer medically anorexic. I’m actually overweight now thanks to binge eating and poor purging practices. BMI 26. I also burn off 300-500 a day in exercise at running or CrossFit which I started last month.
Anyway. Other Asians, tell me your coping mechanisms if you want. Our continent is a whole continent of awesome food which makes it hard to hate
Is the relation between EDs and body image correlation or causation?
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | Fatkunt (CW: ~150lbs.) | LW (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Sun Oct 21 09:30:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4dpc/is_the_relation_between_eds_and_body_image/
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I've just been thinking lately and realize that maybe I continue on with my binging habits because I know that I've fucked up my body beyond repair, and so recovery is pointless.
With that in mind, I wanted to hear everyones' thoughts. Are body image and your ED one and the same? Does everyone with an ED have body image issues?
[Rant/Rave] jacked up on ED fuel over here
/u/happybumblebree [✨🍭 27F | 17.0 💖✨]
Created: Sun Oct 21 09:17:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4a6e/jacked_up_on_ed_fuel_over_here/
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this is the snowball effect of all snowball effects and it's long i'm sorry. tl;dr no i'm not cheating, no i'm not on hard drugs, yes i'm dying, everybody saw my body check pics, where was all this concern when i needed it?
i lost my job a couple weeks ago. it was a huge blow to my life because that job was the break i had from everything that sucked, and it was just gone. it had been a risk too; i left a well-paying job doing the same thing to work for a small-town bakery that went out of business in three weeks. because i was optimistic. never even got paid for those three weeks.
so yeah that killed me. left a lot of depressive status updates on facebook, some people said "i'm sorry" at first but mostly those statuses were left blank, no comments, no questions, no reactions, nothing. my husband has never been emotionally supportive. i was suicidal and he was on his phone. i begged someone to come over while he was at work so i wouldn't have to be alone, that status was left blank.
i had one friend. he came over once while my husband was gone and was still here when he came home so i could introduce them, now my husband is certain i'm cheating. i'm already losing a shit ton of weight and husband knows i have an ED but for some reason he wants so badly for me to be on drugs he's constantly accusing me of shit. i was pretty open, i told him i'm taking ephedrine for weight loss and that's the only drug i have, i even showed him the pills, but he insists i have hard drugs somewhere. so now the house is trashed because he keeps looking for evidence that i am (a) taking illegal drugs and (b) cheating on him, neither of which exist because i'm not doing either. but fuck me, right? he's read my old journals, he's gone through my phone, he's invading every bit of privacy i have and he has nothing on me but he's still so convinced.
so i'm spiraling over this shit but to make everything worse my mother found my instagram account full of body checks, i don't know how, and SHE SHOWED EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY. she messaged an old friend of mine that lives ONE THOUSAND MILES AWAY as if she could do anything, so NOW i've got friends, aunts, grandmas, siblings, parents coming out of the woodwork to shove "help" and recovery in my face, you know, after all that damning silence i received when i was actually crying for help. i ended up deactivating my facebook temporarily so the bombardment of concern that seemed remarkably fake would stop.
i'm in contact with no one but my emotionally abusive husband and we're on the brink of a divorce, i don't know what i'm doing or what i'm going to do or where to go. this is a new low and i'm 15 hours into a fast that i have a feeling might last a very long time.
[Other] C/S for the first time
/u/LynCross
Created: Sun Oct 21 09:12:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q48rl/cs_for_the_first_time/
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I've already gone way over my calorie limit for today but I was really hungry so I decided to c/s. It feels unnatural and I'm so afraid of accidentally swallowing it, but I'll keep trying it when I can bc I feel bad if I'm wasting food.
Lost my wallet with my whole weekends worth of tips today cause apparantly my brain cant function properly
/u/bashytr0n [5'2"|90lbs|17.1| GW 40kg/88lbs | LW 35kg/77lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 21 08:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q4308/lost_my_wallet_with_my_whole_weekends_worth_of/
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Thought id pop out and do some sunday errands before breaking a 24-hour fast today and lost my wallet within like 20 minutes of leaving the house. I didnt realise until later on and thought maybe id left it at home by accident but nope, its gone. :(
Dont know if my brain was just not switched on cause i was hungry or if it was stolen, but between this and all the things ive been dropping and smashing lately, i feel like im becoming hella absent minded and stupid. Ive been feeling pretty shitty lately, especially at work, and this kind of broke me.
Now i gotta replace my license, IDs and bankcard, not to mention over $200 which i was going to use to pay my water bill and im *so* fucking frustrated with myself. I have no idea how this happened. I rationally know its going to be okay and in the scheme of things it could be so much worse but like..what the fuck?? Just wanted to get this off my chest and commiserate. Maybe i deserve this.
Really struggling right now
/u/yellixis [160/ 5'3" |cw: 60kg | bmi: 24 | M]
Created: Sun Oct 21 08:43:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q40k3/really_struggling_right_now/
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Just another vent.
I had a big surgery at the start of the year, and a couple of weeks ago I got a really bad staph infection in the scars (double mastectomy scars). I've been on antibiotics for two weeks. I'm sensitive to penicillin so I've been really sick. I had a sick kind of rush thinking that being sick would make me lose more weight but it HASNT. I've been constipated and eating like shit because I'm not cooking.
I've been feeling better the past few days but I now have a friend staying for 3 weeks. (I wanted to hit my first gw before she came...nope...). She is aware of my ED-shit and is super against me calorie counting. This weekend I've been expected to be the fun type, eating out and snacking and drinking. I don't drink so I have an excuse to avoid the alcohol calories.
My calorie counting is super inaccurate because I can't use a scale or scan things without being scrutinised...I'm trying to eat intuitively but my bingeing behaviours are impossible when people are enabling them (e.g. encouraging me to go out for crazy large meals, buying me family sized bags of my biggest binge triggers!)
I KNOW I have gained. I feel like my stomach is beach ball sized. I'm hoping that a mix of guessing calories and trying to eat 'sensibly' the next few weeks will stop me gaining any more. I'm trying to think of ways to use uni to secretly skip meals. I could say I already had lunch on campus and don't need dinner...etc.
Ugh.
my bf has only ever dated tiny, petite, short, miniscule girls. i'm tall and curvy and i feel so inferior to them
/u/kittenbun [5'9 | GW 140 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 08:41:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q402a/my_bf_has_only_ever_dated_tiny_petite_short/
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to preface this rant, he has noooo idea that i've got an ED. i eat 'normally' around him and get away with telling him i ate when he was sleeping/napping so he's not suspicious at all.
i asked him recently; 'if they have all been like that, then why are you with me?' his answer? 'i like trying new things'.
i've always been outwardly 'confident' and 'self loving' about myself. even if i *despise* what i see, i'll trick myself into believing otherwise, because this in turn, tricks other people. but i felt so insecure when i found out about his exes, that my 'true' feelings of self loathing and shame towards my body showed themselves on the surface, and i absolutely resent that.
it wasn't a bad answer, and it could have been worse - it could have been "because i love you, but if i had a choice i'd prefer you were 120lbs" and yet still i'm so... unsatisfied.
the best answer would have been 'because i realised i actually hate skinny, underweight girls, and i wanted a cuddly, soft, warm girl like you.'
but no. guys really do prefer tiny little girls. so i have to take this as motivation and become his ideal, because i won't feel happy with myself or within my relationship until i've 'beaten' the girls he was once with. even if that isn't possible.
ideally, i have 22lbs i would like to lose, to be at a place of "contentment" (if that exists) with my body. i don't like the way it is, and i never have. but i've had boys in the past that LOVED my curves and made me feel less disgusted with myself than i do now, knowing that his first girlfriend was only *88lbs*. i weigh TWICE that much. granted, i am 1ft taller than she was, but still... i just feel really shitty about this.
all i can do is focus on my fasting and restricting and try to shed as many pounds as i can before i see him again. but i honestly feel so shredded inside that my brain is telling me 'don't see him again until you're 120lbs'.
i hate feeling all these things
[Help] I gained a pound while fasting
/u/coffeecalories [5'0 | 96.4 lbs | 18.9| -43 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 08:20:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3um8/i_gained_a_pound_while_fasting/
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I’ve been on a steady losing streak and was down to a solid 94 with clothes on. Last night, I got home from work, peed and weighed myself naked and I gained a pound somehow although I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours. I checked again this morning and still right at 95. Can anyone explain? I feel so awful
[Rant/Rave] weighed in at 90 pounds and i have a doctors appointment on the 25th fml
/u/wetbookshelf [5’3 | CW: 92 | BMI: 16.37 ]
Created: Sun Oct 21 08:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3tdt/weighed_in_at_90_pounds_and_i_have_a_doctors/
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well. i guess i cant rly deny i have a problem now i always felt like i was faking it but damn u dont realize how bad it is until you try and gain! i weighed in around 93 a couple weeks ago which is where i’d been for awhile. but then my mom told me i had a doctors appointment the 25th. just like a check up or whagever. but my sister said my mom told her it was actually bc she noticed i’d lost weight. my parents dont know ab my ed but my sister does which is why she warned me. ans that kinda scared the fuck out of me because its getting so bad. i weighed 110 in january. i feel like shit all the time. i havent felt hungry in weeks i eat maybe one thing a day like a pack of cheez its or some chcik fil a fries or some crackers and even thats hard not because im scared of the calories but because my appetite doesnt exist. food doesnt taste good or smell good or seem appetizing. i feel so weak all the time my eyes feel numb as im typing this my feet are numb i get dizzy every time i stand up. not just sometimes every time. i like my body but im so fucking scared of being found out. i want to be better but its impossible. i had a panic attack in my car in my work parking lot because i weighed in at 90 this morning and i realized its only getting worse. so yeah. fml am i right guys lol
im so sick of chest pains
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:110 | bmi: 19.5 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 08:06:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3r3p/im_so_sick_of_chest_pains/
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its literally the only reason i cut back on restricting or stop fasting--inevitably, my heart starts to pound, or my chest feels tight, or i get this dull ache/sharp pain that comes and goes until i eat to maintenance.
and yes, ive talked to doctors about it. gotten holter monitors multiple times. got an echocardiogram. they keep telling me to sleep more and drink less caffeine (even after i said i stopped drinking caffeine for months to see if it helped and said i sleep normal). they literally make me lose my breath sometimes and i get told "yeah thats normal, now heres the huge bill to pay."
i wish there was something i could take that would make my heart calm the fuck down cause im so tired of this dramatic bitch making me eat when its actually just faking it for the attention. /rant
[Intro] After ten years of not being taken seriously
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 21 08:03:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3qbr/after_ten_years_of_not_being_taken_seriously/
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Hey, People. I found this sub maybe a month ago but never did any proper introduction and even though few People do it, I'd like to, because this has become a major safety community for me atm!
I'm 30, and have had disordered eating for 10 years now. In 2008 I lost an amount of weight thanks to pro ana forums, and it started there. I got a diagnosis of depression and EDNOS and have been going Up and down since, both in weight and mood. My thinnest was Summer of 2008, BMI 17,6. My fattest was some year(s) after that, at bmi 24,5. Generally I have been doing okay for the past few years weightwise, mainly because of other mental issues taking priority :P
I know it is stupid, but I feel SO GREAT for finding this kind of community again, and I just wanted to say thank you all for being here and for being so great and supportive :3
[Rant/Rave] Who else here has bipolar on top of their ED?
/u/pringlesenthusiast [5’3 | CW 132 | HW 175 | GW 110| UGW 98]
Created: Sun Oct 21 07:56:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3ohi/who_else_here_has_bipolar_on_top_of_their_ed/
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Type 1 bipolar with atypical anorexia, As if one disorder wasn’t enough 🙃...... I’ve struggled for years now with on and off mania and my mania makes my self esteem sky high and I feel invincible. So what do I do? Eat food even though I’m trying to restrict or fast ! Manic me thinks I’m soo beautiful and that I deserve to eat and who cares? Life’s too short!! I get really body positive. Then I crash back to depression eventually and am horrified that I thought it was okay to eat 2 average sized meals every day for the past week. I was too scared to step on the scale I was convinced I felt at least 10 extra pounds on my body. Finally weighed myself and I’m actually down a few pounds ?! I don’t really understand how this happens but I’m certainly not complaining. But most of the time it doesn’t have this good of an outcome I usually do gain weight, but not the 10 pounds or so I convince myself I must have gained usually like 3-5 pounds but it’s enough to really upset me still. Not sure if this is a weird thing I do or if others can relate
Weird ED accomplishment
/u/StephMichael97
Created: Sun Oct 21 07:48:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3mke/weird_ed_accomplishment/
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Last night I purged and for the first time I was able to without hardly making a sound. Normally I’m gagging and coughing(hence why I only purge at home). I guess since I’ve started purging more frequently I’m kinda used to it now and weirdly makes me feel less nervous about having to purge in a public restroom, so yay?
Does anyone see a therapist of the opposite gender?
/u/catsrule-humansdrool [5'5 | CW 147 | -64 lbs | 23F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 07:41:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3l0e/does_anyone_see_a_therapist_of_the_opposite_gender/
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What's that like for you? I've always seen female therapists because I feel like they can relate more, and the one time I saw a male therapist he was awful and didn't understand anything (he was also a student and from a completely different country so that didn't help BUT ANYWAY), but my current therapist recommended someone who specializes in eating disorders but HE'S A DUDE. So yeah, do you think your therapist's gender plays a huge difference?
Don't most people in first world countries have eating disorders?
/u/highallthetimelol
Created: Sun Oct 21 07:26:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3hn6/dont_most_people_in_first_world_countries_have/
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I'm not quite sure how you would define an ED, but obesity rates seem higher than ever before in history and people dying from heart attacks and other diseases caused by poor diet is seen as normal
If people eat unhealthy foods in such large quantities that it seriously damages their health, doesn't that count as disordered eating habits?
Am i weird?
/u/minicemilo [167cm| CW:51kg| BMI:18.3 | GW:47kg| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 07:15:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3eye/am_i_weird/
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My fav videos to watch are binge videos. Is that weird? I get a sense of satisfaction from watching people binge- maybe because i can’t physically consume the foods?
Got high, was nightmarish
/u/no_friends_no_end [183cm | CW 67kg | LW 60| HW 75| M]
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:56:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3aju/got_high_was_nightmarish/
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It was a frienda birthday, marijuana was plebtiful and an amaxing penthouse view. I've never had an experience like this before but I've also never been this high before(was very past my limit) also while being really self conscious of my appearance.
Yesterday and it was terrible. The room we were in was completely covered in windows so I could see my reflection in all angles. I'm not sure why but my reflection seemed to conjured, twisted and out of order. I became extremely self critical and introspective. Going into extreme detail of my personal faults, my stage in life.. my loneliness idk
Going to the toilet didn't help either because now I had a perfect reflection of myself. I hated everything, my hair, the clothes I was wearing, my proportions. My legs looked super fat and my face all out of wack.
I guess the weed brought out my inner most demons and made me face them for four hours in terror. Then I had the munchies and was in a state of just devouring anything but I felt so yuck. Like some vermin, surrounded by their hoard overwhelmed by gluttony. Thankfully I managed to keep this all internalised
Suffice to say I might just leave the Mary jay
Post binge
/u/beth1002
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:46:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q38iz/post_binge/
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I feel disgusting, i don't want to add up the calories or I'll be even more disgusted with myself.
It must have been maybe 1000 calories at least.
I feel like such a weak failure.
How do you cope post binge? I really wish i could reverse this but I don't want to start purging every time.
I'm thinking the only real way to make up for it is to fast for a couple of days.
better to plan or be spontanous?
/u/Appolinaris9
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:41:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q37h9/better_to_plan_or_be_spontanous/
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I am so annoyed by myself lol. I always buy a ton of food, mostly veggies, protein and stuff that I want to 'try out', then when mealtime comes around I feel like I 'have to' eat those things in their will-spoil-the-fastest-order. Also when I'm in binge mode I often buy a TON of junk and it's so much that I often can't finish it, and I don't like to throw out stuff, so I feel like I need to eat those. It's annoying because I ALWAYS crave something else, like my brain will just refuse to want what I planned out of spite no matter what it really is (even thought I REALLY wanted it at the store).
I also tried out just buying what I want in that moment, like an hour before meal time so this doesn't happen. But I get super anxious about not having a ton of food at home, especially safe food (and when I DO crave something sweet, it's better to have exactly my favourite candy than to rely on cheap disgusting gas station chocolate).
Anyone else have this very specific problem? :D I have SO MUCH food at home right now waiting to be eating but I'd also love to go out and get sushi or so (can't do both obv).
[Discussion] [Discussion] DAE love their clothes that are too big?
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:28:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q34xy/discussion_dae_love_their_clothes_that_are_too_big/
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It makes me feel small wearing hoodies and baggy sweatpants that used to fit tightly. And if you gain weight, your clothes are all uncomfortable and tight. But you have tons of nighties and comfy baggy lounge clothes.
i work at tesco and just discovered we sell halo top
/u/Serenescence
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:24:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q347l/i_work_at_tesco_and_just_discovered_we_sell_halo/
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\+ my colleague discount. i just bought and binged ate a full pint of the chocolate flavour. this is gonna be a v dangerous binge food for me.
[Sticky] Sunday: Share your latest grocery+food hauls!
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:13:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q3204/sunday_share_your_latest_groceryfood_hauls/
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Feel welcome to post pics of your latest and greatest hauls~! Consider adding commentary on:
* what country you're in
* what store, site, market or Co-op you shopped at
* how much you spent or any sweet deals you found
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 21, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:10:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q31h9/daily_food_diary_october_21_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for October 21, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Discussion] I wanna party with u guys
/u/sstephenn [Recovering 5'10 | 129.8/58.8 | 18.6 | -60/27.2 | Male ]
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:08:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q314u/i_wanna_party_with_u_guys/
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I feel like we’re all stuck in our heads a lot and we deserve to pause everything for at least a night 😎 let’s party u guys
[Help] I’ve never had diet soda before
/u/DemureHarmony [5’2| CW: 87.5 | GW: 80]
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:08:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q312f/ive_never_had_diet_soda_before/
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Which seems like a shocker because everyone over here always talks about how it keeps them alive. So since I’m planning to till Wednesday or Thursday morning, I’m wondering if anyone has any recommendations? Or if I’m not hugely into soda, what else could/should I drink during this period.
[Discussion] DAE feel like you failed if you don't go to bed feeling hungry?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 06:03:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q301h/dae_feel_like_you_failed_if_you_dont_go_to_bed/
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Even when I know I've eaten below my daily calories and will still theoretically lose weight, I still feel like I've failed because I feel slightly full. It makes me want to fast the next day to make up for it. Why must every decision feel like the wrong one? Can I ever just be satisfied?
[Rant/Rave] I’m so excited!
/u/EDm-
Created: Sun Oct 21 04:59:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q2oq8/im_so_excited/
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I finally fit into a uk size 8 which is a 6 in American sizes I think? My sister has always seen the skinny sister and I tried on her jeans and they fit me!!
Looking for specific pro-ana blogs/websites/etc
/u/ffj_ [5'5" | way too much | ridiculous | -18 | F | UGW: 77.2]
Created: Sun Oct 21 04:29:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q2jp0/looking_for_specific_proana_blogswebsitesetc/
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Of specifically people who started out very big 250+. I have been taking EC stacks pretty regularly and light exercise, but seeing someone who started out as a whale like I am will help me a bunch. Thanks for any suggestion :)
[Intro] Long time lurker, 13 years on this sick ol' horse and ready to spill the beans
/u/NaturalAssistant [5'2 | |103.6 | 4.4 | 27/ F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 04:25:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q2j0k/long_time_lurker_13_years_on_this_sick_ol_horse/
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Hey there. It's taken me a long time to finally reach the shores of De'nial, the great river that runs true through the landscapes of my ED riddled psyche.
I've suffered from restrictive bulimia since I was 14, I'm now 27 and it causes me a great deal of shame to reach 13 years of this monster. It is torture and I don't recall having a normal relationship with food. I'm a grown ass woman who is a trained chef (ironic huh) and I don't know how to feed myself. Worse part is I've learned how to hide it, years of lying, baggy clothes, vomiting out windows or into buckets hidden under the bed, stomping vomit down the drain,being cold, tired and having my hair fall out...has given me ninja skills in sneaky behavior. I either starve, or binge (even on "healthy" foods) and purge it. Sure, there have been blocks of time spanning days or a month-ish where I've "recovered" and only restricted, but. It. Always. Comes. Back. Like some sick, faithful, rabid dog, that is only faithful in the sense that it will relentlessly follow you no matter where you go. It's there when I go to sleep, in my anxiety binge eating fear food nightmares, when I wake up. Food haunts me. I love it, I hate it. and I entertain being dead most days because surely then I'd be free of this slavery. It's almost funny how well someone can conceal a secret for that long, probably because up until this month I'd never told myself "Dude, you have an eating disorder" I have little to no plan of recovery short of quitting the purging, yes this is awful and stupid but I'm not here to be inspired/strive, I'm here to find understanding with people who know what it's like.
Shit ain't right man, but at least you get me.
That's what I need right now, is to be understood, to feel unashamed to talk about it.
13 years and this is the first time I've found people to tell.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[Rant/Rave] Binged and now I feel like crap both physically and emotionally
/u/peachiefaerie [5'2" | SW: 187lbs | UGW: 100lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Oct 21 03:59:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q2es3/binged_and_now_i_feel_like_crap_both_physically/
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I've been doing so well with restricting but just now I ate half a garlic bread roll, almost a full large pizza and at least a quarter bottle of sunkist. I want to go purge but my family is still awake and I gag so loudly so now I just have to sit in here in pain because my stomach has stretched so much :(
​
I feel faint and dizzy too so that doesn't help either
[Discussion] everyone is on a pickle trend lately
/u/harperNovaStrom
Created: Sun Oct 21 03:55:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q2e4z/everyone_is_on_a_pickle_trend_lately/
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i think *wonder* foods have their time:
0 - pickles (that dad gave me as a present, that i wasn’t supposed to eat more than one of) (year 1999?)
1st - sugar free jello (my nanny was dieting and the sugar free version was like 10cals) y2001
2nd - salsa (when ur 14 looking up low cal food options)
3rd - yam noodles (found new in the “healthy section of jewel but only heard roomers of it before)
4th - kimchi (heard of but missed the trend, was normal, had friends, was trying to be healthy adult)
5th - pickles (pickles again 2018???)
someone explain omg ....
lol
also..
i might have a few low cal food trend forecasts....
[Rant/Rave] I just wish I never ate.
/u/imgital [5'4 | too big | F]
Created: Sun Oct 21 03:37:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q2b9b/i_just_wish_i_never_ate/
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I go every damn day with eating ~300 calories. And then like clockwork, at 10-11pm the binging starts. And then the self hatred.
God damn what is wrong with me that I give into the binge EVERY SINGLE DAY?! Even if I don't restrict during the day. I'm straight up addicted to eating at night. I've start fiending for food when I'm trying to go to sleep. I never feel full.
Life would just be so much easier/better if I never ate. Like I used to. I feel like that past version of me wasn't even real- how did I ever just not eat?!!
I'm not the heaviest I've ever been, but I'm certainly the *fattest*. No muscle cause I'm a lazy, binge eating, piece of shit.
It didn't happen last night!
/u/Pinkshake
Created: Sun Oct 21 03:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q2aet/it_didnt_happen_last_night/
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I woke up many times last night, needing chocolate. But I managed to go back to sleep!!! Woke up feeling proud and light :)
[Discussion] Does anyone else lose all control when their life is going well?
/u/TotallyNotARadar [6'1" | CW: 113 | BMI: 14.23 | F (MtF)]
Created: Sun Oct 21 03:27:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q29h6/does_anyone_else_lose_all_control_when_their_life/
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I can’t restrict for the life of me when I’m feeling good. Like I know it sounds stupid but like I managed to bump my standardized test up, won a pretty major competition, and some of my projects are going awesomely. By all measures my life is going well, and for whatever reason my fucked head is like “hey you’re feeling good? Let’s GORGE on an apple pie to the point where it hurts and then some”.
[Rant/Rave] "Low Calorie"
/u/thestarvingaries
Created: Sun Oct 21 03:09:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q26qw/low_calorie/
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I hate it when you google low cal recipes and they show you shit with 300-500 cals. Like WTF thats like half my daily calories! Am I really so fucked in the head I don't know that's a "normal" amount?? Because to me, that is NOT low calorie in any way shape or form. Thanks for coming to my TED talk lmao...
[Help] someone pls help me with this???!! calories unclear! see comments...
/u/harperNovaStrom
Created: Sun Oct 21 03:03:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q25ls/someone_pls_help_me_with_this_calories_unclear/
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https://i.redd.it/kj7n7amw7it11.jpg
An ode to pumpkin pie
/u/lattephobia
Created: Sun Oct 21 02:40:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q222j/an_ode_to_pumpkin_pie/
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Oh, can of pumpkin- two egg whites!
You guide me through these sleepless nights.
A quarter cup of sugar- true;
But stevia and pie spice too.
Half a cup the lightest dairy
And salt, and extract, but there be nary
A crumb of crust nor added fat
Lest we become a bloated rat.
The nonstick pan, the oven roars!
And in breathless counted minutes,
Yours.
My ED has me doing some of the wierdest shit
/u/misshomo
Created: Sun Oct 21 02:35:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q21cd/my_ed_has_me_doing_some_of_the_wierdest_shit/
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So I just broke off spoonfuls of jelly and swallowed them with water like pills because I was so desperate to have something in my stomach but I didn't wanna break my fast. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE. WHY CAN'T I JUST EAT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?!
Ps: weight watchers strawberry jelly legitimately tastes like solidified sugar free strawberry cough syrup.
WARNING- creep preying on girls with EDs due to his fetish. Missed out part of our convo but show the worst parts.
/u/ifhy8866
Created: Sun Oct 21 01:54:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1v25/warning_creep_preying_on_girls_with_eds_due_to/
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https://i.redd.it/ywlumhmpvht11.jpg
Idk if I can trust my scale
/u/EDm-
Created: Sun Oct 21 01:50:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1ugh/idk_if_i_can_trust_my_scale/
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So yesterday my sister came over to my house and weighed herself. And recently she lost weight and when she weighed herself she was like “fuck off im not 8 stone 5” (117 pounds) and I weighed myself after and I was 8 stone 10 (122 pounds) and I am coming to the end of a two day fast and I am 8 stone 5 now too. I weighed myself with my clothes and a cup of coffee in my hand and it said 8 stone 7 so maybe it could be true. But I find it hard to believe I whooshed 5 pounds over night
[Rant/Rave] I've lost little weight, somehow still feel like I'm failing. I know some of you can relate.
/u/aryn1235
Created: Sun Oct 21 01:40:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1t0e/ive_lost_little_weight_somehow_still_feel_like_im/
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I've had serious binge eating disorder for most of my later teen life into adulthood. I get stupid at night and pile on the calories like some fool. For the past two months I've done legit great, but I failed tonight. I ate a total of 1800 calories and I'm really feeling the hatred set in. I've lost 10 pounds within the past two months being healthy. I saw 3 pounds pile back after the binge and I'm pretty fucked up over it. Yes, I know it's a lot of water. Yes, I'm aware it'll be down in the morning. But I'm still so mad at myself. My roommate made cupcakes which is a major trigger for me. I was doing great before I ate that one cupcake with no icing. Then I wanted a sandwich because I love a simple sandwich with my sweet stuff (just a weird habit), so I made a sandwich. Then ate another cupcake. Then made Ramen. Then had a Reese's cup. I totally failed today and don't want to eat tomorrow at all. But I know I will and I'll regret it. I'm already regretting everything for having no self control. I'm legit pathetic at being healthy.
Thin "family" triggers me
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Sun Oct 21 01:29:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1r55/thin_family_triggers_me/
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This is a SUPER long one.. I'm sorry if you read this. I just can't let it go. It's building up and I'm sobbing as I type lol
I saw them today and I've lost 25lbs since I've last seen them.. but they are a reminder I'm not enough. AND I MIGHT NOT EVER BE.
I met my bio dad two years ago. We didn't know each other existed until I was 18 (moms a lying bitch)
He has a step daughter that he raised from a little girl. 8 years older than me. She's 98lbs naturally, she doesn't eat enough (poor her she can't gain weight BOO HOO). I mean I empathize with her though about it because it sucks not having the body you want. She doesn't have an ED though just doesn't eat enough and eats garbage.
She was telling me yesterday on the couch when we were alone "my ring is too big I can never find rings that are small enough, my fingers are soo tiny they are just so skinny and small" proceeds to show me that it's loose but is a little tough to get over her knuckle. I told her she could get it sized. But doesn't acknowledge that. it's almost like she likes to flex on me because I'm an overweight fat cunt. Today she said her collar bones hurts and makes a point to show all of us them while we are in a crowd of people. And we are basically wearing the same thing, low cut shirt and jeans.. except I'm fat. Then her friend that she's known from HS comes along and she's also tiny, they are both shorter than me by a lot. She doesn't even introduce me btw. Nobody really talks to me, (except dad) and they make me feel like I don't belong. They are petite, cute and a little more Mexican than me. Everything my dad likes in the woman he dates (my mom, his ex) the kind of women he finds aesthetically pleasing. While his son, my brother that we share, is thin and good looking like them as well.
And then there's me... I was 140 two years ago when I got here, and I got sober and have been putting on weight until 2 months ago. I let myself get to 210.. I have BPD and severe anxiety and I don't leave the house much because I'm ashamed of myself.
I have a big nose, crooked teeth, bad skin, stretch marks all over my body from having a kid and my hair started thinning 2 years ago. I'm 5'4 at 186 as of yesterday. thanks to my lovely parents for making me with their shitty genetics. I'm so fucking ugly. My dad has talked about getting me braces since he met me. He is cheering my weight loss on and knows I b/p. He's usually very kind and sensitive to my problems. But I can't talk about this.
My step sister thing has 2 kids no stretch marks, is older than me, perfect teeth, perfect body. She comes over in tiny shorts and her butt cheeks show at the bottom of them EVERY time she comes over. She has super nice long hair and only calls my dad when she needs something. And he'll do anything whenever she needs for her at the drop of a hat. He's so much nicer to her.
I know it's a jealousy thing, I know I am angry for him raising her when he should've raised me.
But fuck I'm so worthless. I'm the ugliest person in his life. I don't compare to her and she knows that. His son is so cocky and hates me and I know they talk shit about me because I'm so disgusting. I know some of it is in my head but it's not just in my head, I know they all really think this too.
I'm so tired of being the ugly fat girl. I'm so tired of not feeling good enough. I just want to hide I'm so embarrassed. And the way they act, like they are better than me. Makes me want to fucking scream.
And to top it off my daughter came home and said "those two girls are really gorgeous" and I just smiled and nodded.. rip to my mental health for the rest of the year.
[Help] upper thighs
/u/teapip99
Created: Sun Oct 21 01:07:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1nob/upper_thighs/
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I’ve recently lost about 20lb but my thighs are the exact same size! What are some exercises / ways I can loose fat in my legs please help!!
Those who binge -
/u/ifhy8866
Created: Sun Oct 21 01:04:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1n5h/those_who_binge/
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I rarely binge and this probably sounds ridiculous and shitty but I wanted to hear some experiences around it. I guess I’m looking for an insight as I have a friend who has some pretty bad issues with binging and I find it difficult to relate or understand why she would do it.
I have experience with other disordered things but not that, and I can’t wrap my head around it or imagine the emotions and urges people must feel? Feel free to share any experiences etc but apologies if this post is insensitive
[Rant/Rave] I was asked if I was *actually* married to my husband
/u/ProvocativeSkeleton
Created: Sun Oct 21 01:02:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1msj/i_was_asked_if_i_was_actually_married_to_my/
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My friends mom said she didn’t believe I could *actually* be in a relationship with my husband because he is good looking and I am overweight. She thought he was scamming me for a green card because he is Swedish (which is stupid because his country is 1000x better and we plan to move there once we save up).
It hurt me because I sometimes see comments like that. The shocked “you’re MARRIED???¿” from people who can’t imagine a fat girl with a good looking guy.
Yes, I gained weight from cancer, and yes I’m not “in his league” but THANKS for letting me know how fucking ugly I am and how he probably is gay or scamming me or probably doesn’t love me.
I know he loves me, I’m just tired of the rude as hell comments, it makes me want to cry that people think that when they see us.
I finally met “that girl” who’s freaking gorgeous, funny, outgoing, and skinny.
/u/estoniark
Created: Sun Oct 21 00:59:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1mba/i_finally_met_that_girl_whos_freaking_gorgeous/
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My self confidence has never been amazing, but usually I think I’m mildly attractive enough that I don’t feel “threatened” by other gorgeous girls around.
But tonight I finally met the girl who makes me feel fucking insecure like nothing else. We’re both Asian but she’s legitimately one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen, and she’s also super friendly and sweet and outgoing and basically seems perfect from my POV. I know everyone has their flaws, but from the outside she really seems like all that. And all the guys we hung out with tonight were obsessed with her. It didn’t help that I’ve been bingeing all weekend and feel like a troll, and one of my guy friends was texting me all night about how hot she was.
I was planning to go to a pub night (rare for me) with my friends this week that I was super looking forward to, but knowing she might be there makes me totally want to drop out. I can’t compare with her, I don’t want my boyfriend seeing me and her in the same room, I just feel utterly wrecked by the existence of this girl which sounds so stupid and dramatic but I can’t help it. Why the hell would my boyfriend ever pick me when he could have her? Why would anyone? Why do I have to eat so much and look like a blob next to her? I don’t know what the point of this sad rant was, I’m just feel like it’s all so pointless to even try.
Weight making me anxious about studying abroad
/u/pinatadog
Created: Sun Oct 21 00:38:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1ipv/weight_making_me_anxious_about_studying_abroad/
---
So I am a junior in college currently applying to study abroad in either Spain or Buenos Aires and I can't help this creeping fear in the back of my head that people there will make fun of me for being fat. I am 5'3 and 120 pounds with a BMI of 21.3 and a pear-shaped body. I have lost just over forty pounds since March and most people here in America have stopped calling me heavy but I kind of having a feeling that as soon as I am in a different country, people will be more honest and criticize my body and everything I eat.
Considering that I will be by myself abroad for the first time ever, this is making me really nervous. At least here I can talk to people who are more rational than me who can help me realize that I am really not eating a ton of food even if it feels that way. I kind of doubt that people will be that patient with an American foreigner. Additionally, I am looking into potentially teaching English in South Korea after college and that is making me feel very more afraid because I know Asian perceptions of weight are even more rigid than in Latin America and Europe. I just want to be able to study and learn without being so scared of how people will think of my body, man.
[Rant/Rave] Ana, pls kill me soon
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Sun Oct 21 00:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1glf/ana_pls_kill_me_soon/
---
My ex (now just my friend) doesn't understand that I hate small talk through text. He talks to me everyday. I hate it. I don't talk to anyone everyday, not even my best friend. I hate this. I want to have some space and do my hw without having to answer his texts (I need the texting app open because I have the instructions there). Anorexia has taken over me again. It's gotten so bad that I restrict without trying. I'm not even hungry anymore. I eat 500-1000 cals just to pretend I'm eating a lot. Even now that on my period I think I haven't gone over 1200 or something. I didn't want to starve. But if I'm going to, please let it kill me soon. I'm so tired. I think I'll just go to the gym on Tuesday or something and let myself exercise till I faint
[Discussion] Adam Ruins Everything nutrition ep
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1 | 195 | 36.8 | -25 | M]
Created: Sun Oct 21 00:08:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1dk2/adam_ruins_everything_nutrition_ep/
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Did y'all watch this and know most of the facts already? It might be triggering, but it's filled with reasons why foods like orange juice, milk and cereal are actually not good for you--a satisfying watch for me.
[Rant/Rave] Cops + Weight
/u/Mimilky [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Oct 20 23:48:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1a19/cops_weight/
---
lol so today was not the best day
so I wanted to see if i could steal something from a store at the mall
it didn't even fit me I just wanted to see if I could get away with it
long story short I got caught
once the cops showed up they asked for my height and weight and I felt the worst kind of satisfaction when I told them I was 96 pounds
moral of the story: don't steal even if you think you can cuz it's not worth it.... unless you want to talk about your weight then I guess get yourself caught
My boyfriend introduced me to these and I thought y’all would appreciate it.
/u/parawhour
Created: Sat Oct 20 23:26:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q15xe/my_boyfriend_introduced_me_to_these_and_i_thought/
---
https://i.redd.it/ru9jgoq85ht11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] the hell is going on
/u/fatass_1 [5'0 | 115lbs | 21 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 23:17:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q1492/the_hell_is_going_on/
---
im up to 113 now, i overate yesterday(by around 100-200 cals) and the day before but other than that ive been good with staying at/below maintenance. yet somehow i gained 2 lbs? ngl, suicide's seeming like a good option for me. it just keeps getting worse and worse and i dont think it'll ever stop.
fuck.
[Rant/Rave] my wife gave me a biiiig confidence boost while we were in the bedroom and i feel hella valid??
/u/WashiiTape [🌻 Height: 5'4 | CW: 119 | BMI: 19.4 | Gender: F 🌻]
Created: Sat Oct 20 23:08:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q12km/my_wife_gave_me_a_biiiig_confidence_boost_while/
---
Ok so nsfw warning, rampant lesbianism warning, etc. but i was getting flirty with my wife in the bedroom, and i was in lingerie and i felt like a fckin whale because ew big tummy and small tits and form fitting clothes but like during sex she kissed my tummy and my inner thighs, my two fattest places that i get upset about the most, and then after we were done with the sexy stuff we were cuddling and she wrapped her arms around my waist and told me "Your body makes me so happy"
She knows abt my ed, and knoes im super self conscious abt people mentioning my body, compliments or otherwise, and she was probably aware that it was a risky thing to tell me, but it made me feel really nice? Like wow. It was a super nice reminder that no matter how blob-like and flabby i find my body, she loves it and she loves me.
She always knows the exact right thing to say to put me in a good mood, im so glad to call this lovely woman my wife <3
[Rant/Rave] That one cashier
/u/HIITKix09
Created: Sat Oct 20 23:04:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q11mv/that_one_cashier/
---
That always sees you buying weird stuff. Why do you with 7 days a week at night when I want my stuff? Hate u
[Rant/Rave] I saved most of my calories for the day for baby shower cake
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 152 | 26.1 | -88 | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 20 22:28:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0u9v/i_saved_most_of_my_calories_for_the_day_for_baby/
---
Except the “mommy to be” (barf this is her third kid why are we still doing this shit) served almond cake. Which I am allergic to.
I sat through another bullshit baby shower feeling faint af for nothing.
I came home prepared to rage-eat a pint of Halo Top but my chicken thigh dinner filled me up so now I’m going to bed feeling like the universe is out of balance because I didn’t get cake.
I saved most of my calories for the day for baby shower cake
/u/button_eyed_coraline [5'4" | 152 | 26.1 | -88 | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 20 22:27:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0u4i/i_saved_most_of_my_calories_for_the_day_for_baby/
---
Except the “mommy to be” (barf this is her third kid why are we still doing this shit) served almond cake. Which I am allergic to.
I sat through another bullshit baby shower feeling faint af for nothing.
I came home prepared to rage-eat a pint of Halo Top but my chicken thigh dinner filled me up so now I’m going to bed feeling like the universe is out of balance because I didn’t get cake.
[Help] Wanting to recover but can't figure out how
/u/srh01
Created: Sat Oct 20 22:14:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0r66/wanting_to_recover_but_cant_figure_out_how/
---
I think I want to try recovery. I haven't had an ED for long (restricting since January, b/p since March) but in the time I've had it, it's taken over my life. My grades dropped a lot, I've skipped class to purge, I can't focus at work. It's made me miserable.
My school program (a dual-enrollment boarding school for high school students where we live on a college campus and take all our classes at the university with college students) has counseling that's supposedly confidential, but I went to one of the counselors last year (unrelated issues- perfectionism) and long story short, he told my parents everything. I'd like to do counseling, but not if it means my parents or school staff would know about my bulimia. I'm worried the counselors would classify an ED as a "threat to self or others" and violate confidentiality to tell my parents, and I'd possibly even get kicked out of the program (I'm a senior, so that would really suck).
I don't see any other options, but every time I try to get better on my own, I just can't stop. I know I'll keep purging if I don't get help.
Any advice? Sorry for the long and sorta pointless rant.
[Rant/Rave] “Get help.”
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Sat Oct 20 22:13:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0r3m/get_help/
---
I told my psychiatrist I didn’t plan to eat for 4 days and I was trapped in an abusive environment. His response was “well you should eat, and work things out with them.” And “you’re pointing fingers.” Nothing else.
When I saw a therapist at college, she sexually harassed me, saying, “you’re highly fuckable” and suggesting I get into bdsm because I self harmed. When I told her I didn’t like those comments she said “fuck You.”
When I saw a therapist immediately after my brutal rape, she insisted I say everything that happened, down to the last detail, 2 days later, which felt worse than the rape itself. Later, when I struggled with alcohol dependence in response to the rape, she suggested “why not try crack instead? I’m sure you could get it.” She also encouraged me to avoid hospitalization after a suicide attempt and said “just lie to the nurses.”
When I confessed to another psychiatrist I was feeling suicidal, he told me “no one would really care if you killed yourself. You know that, right?”
When I had the flu in the psych ward the nurse got angry with me and yelled “how could you NOT know you had the flu?!” And forced me to eat so I’d “get better faster.”
There have been countless professionals who don’t believe I have bpd because I am “too nice” and “not manipulative,” but it is worse when they do believe I have it, because then, everything is my fault and I deserve any mistreatment that comes my way. I must have brought it on somehow, and I am the only real problem, always.
This is what “getting help” means to me. This is what I think of when people say “you should see a therapist.” I remember being hurt relentlessly, over and over again,and paying someone to do that. I remember being dismissed, mistreated, and abused. All of my experiences are real. I refuse to find another therapist. I refuse to “get help,” when “help” is just being hurt further and further.
[Discussion] Guys! Could rice become a safe food?! 🤯
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:58:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0nqj/guys_could_rice_become_a_safe_food/
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https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-discovered-cook-rice-halve-calories-2018-10?utm_content=bufferb97dd&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer-insider-main?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=topbar&utm_term=mobile
[Rant/Rave] 12hr binge
/u/glitchydowner
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:55:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0n25/12hr_binge/
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For the first time in a long, long time I've eaten until I hurt and feel sick... It's nearly 5am here, I woke up and carried on eating...wtf is wrong with me?? So yeah...
[Rant/Rave] Does talking about clothing trigger anyone else?
/u/tiffanysux
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:53:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0mmp/does_talking_about_clothing_trigger_anyone_else/
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This guy I’ve been talking to is really into clothes and fashion and today he joked that I wasn’t fashionable enough for him and it sent me spiraling. Clothing has always been a really sensitive topic for me because I’ve never felt comfortable wearing the clothes I wanted because of how ashamed if my body I am. It was a fairly innocent comment but now I’m so self conscious about my body and I feel so gross that I just want to starve forever. :/
spent over $500 on food this week...why am i like this
/u/bellxxaaa
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:49:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0llg/spent_over_500_on_food_this_weekwhy_am_i_like_this/
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I have no idea how much I actually spent...frankly i don't want to look at the receipts or I will really want to die.
All I know is that I went to the grocery store twice and each visit was over $100.... then of course I ordered a fuck ton of food from skip the dishes and barely had any human contact with anyone in the past week... other than the starbucks barista, delivery driver, and grocery store cashier
I hate this disorder...theres so much time in the day to binge it almost feels like if i don't take up my time doing something...even just ANYTHING productive i'll get bored and start binging WHY AM I LIKE THIS I FUCKING HATE IT
[Other] Short Writing/Prose (TL:DR; angst)
/u/Belarie [5'4", 130, F :)]
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:49:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0lkn/short_writingprose_tldr_angst/
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I don’t think I was made like this.
My brain wasn’t hardwired like this. I wasn’t genetically prone to anorexia or whatever. I didn’t have it “in the blood”. I didn’t have any reason for any of this.
Something changed me to make me thing like this.
Maybe it’s the mother who ate 3 bites of the fattening home cooked meal she made as a bored housewife, following the housewife diet of the soap television shows she’d watch, trying to be beautiful, leaving a bit left on her plate, to be beautiful for the husband who mocked her? Or herself?
Maybe it’s that in my family I was skinny to them at a size 8, 130 lb, 5’3” 13 year old. Maybe BED is in my blood. Maybe hating myself for it is also.
The pro-ana blogs on tumblr I read like a gospel? A 13 year old girl left broken from a divorce she had no right to cry about? I don’t know why I cried all I know is, “skip dinner, wake up thinner.”
But it’d never work. Stay constant at my weight a year still because every attempt at “self care” (freezing, hungry, lying-) boils down to the core base of hunger I feel. Will I deny my body it’s right to survive or will I want to die with every bite?
Because I can not starve. Starving is not in my blood.
But I can’t say why sometimes I will go home from school with coffee and mint gum for dinner, or eat till there’s nothing left.
I can’t be the skinny girl, laying in the hospital bed, I can’t lose the fight to my mind I can only try to wage a pseudo war with it.
I can’t speak up. Confess with all 127 pounds of me that yes, I am in war with my body and my mind and my self. Because my body is the battleground and it does not show the bombs that have been thrown there. It does not show the pain that I’ve suffered to make it war torn.
I am stuck.
[Discussion] Does anyone take white kidney bean extract?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:42:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0k1j/does_anyone_take_white_kidney_bean_extract/
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If you do, do you like it? Do you feel like it helps you? I’m considering it but not sure if it’s worth it.
[Discussion] what are your fav zero/low cal drinks?
/u/BackgroundHole [5'5" | CW 126 | HW 136 | LW 119 | GW 105]
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:30:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0h7l/what_are_your_fav_zerolow_cal_drinks/
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[Discussion] Hate that obsessive ED brain
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:28:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0grd/hate_that_obsessive_ed_brain/
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I find myself being SO wrapped up in other peoples size. To be clear weight has nothing to do with the worth of a person so yeah BUT my stupid brain won’t let me rest. I spend hours looking through people’s social media’s to see if they have gained or lost any weight. Could be a stranger or someone I know. Instagram is filling my explore tab with Incredibly thin Kpop girls and tiny teeny tik tok dancers. I know it’s up to me to stop being so obsessed but it’s like the only thing I can do besides stuffing my face... I guess I’m just feeling a bit guilty because I know ppl probably don’t want anyone thinking about their weight. I know realistically no one would know because I never leave my house and wouldn’t dare say anything anyways bc they could be chillin here with us but yeah.
[Other] I hit the normal weight BMI today for the first time in my chubby life.
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:23:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0fkp/other_i_hit_the_normal_weight_bmi_today_for_the/
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I had a really rough week and I had an episode of remembering this incident that makes me closer to killing myself every time I remember. I was on full freak out destructive mode and made the choice to binge on a drug I have kept my hands off of until now. So I then didn't eat for 3 full days aside from a few bites of a salad the first night.
I am ashamed at the choice I made and I am afraid of doing it again. But I am not feeling like I thought I would when I reached this number. I'm as empty and hollow as ever because I know my problems are rooted in my thoughts and mind, the weight loss is just one way my brain tries to deal with the chaos. A physical manifestation of my anxiety and depression and controlling this one part of my life is keeping me from unraveling entirely.
My skinny "friend" is fucking with me?
/u/chrissylessthan3 [5'2 | CW: 125.5 | HW: 132.5 | GW: 112 | UGW: 105]
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:08:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0c8b/my_skinny_friend_is_fucking_with_me/
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So a good friend of mine just sent me this completely out of the blue. She's tall, thin, and gorgeous, 5'9 and probably 120-125. Definitely more attractive than me. She's always been good to me...we're there for each other and lift each other up, she let me stay at her place for a month when I just moved to her city...but I feel like she has the urge to one up me. This is a good example. \*\*Oh, the knives were not like a threat or an angry reply, I just thought they were adorable and I wanted to change the conversation\*\*
She's pulled this stuff before, I think with the intention of upsetting me. I wore shapewear under my clothes around the house when I was there and one night out of the blue she was like "I hate when women wear fajas to try to get those curves when I work so hard for them (she has an insane metabolism, eats a lot, and ive never seen her work out)" and it felt like it was a dig at me. Usually I have bad luck with men and the one time I had a good date she was like "well, this (guy ive been bragging about for weeks) suddenly did x, y, z shitty behavior!" I mean I'd always be there for her but it's like she couldn't be happy for me for one second.
Like, I realize that even really thin and gorgeous women can be insecure and even have EDs (used to be me!) and I never want to invalidate her if she is insecure, but I feel like it's more than just insecure venting. Why vent to someone you know is heavier than you about this...what do you think?
https://i.redd.it/5qnkcujcfgt11.jpg
https://i.redd.it/r4p7g2kcfgt11.jpg
[Discussion] Who in your life knows you have an ED?
/u/frankxcastle [5'4|CW: 125|HW: 158|26F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 21:04:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0b4s/who_in_your_life_knows_you_have_an_ed/
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I haven't told anyone. I desperately want to, but I know I won't because I don't to hurt them. I can't stand the thought of them worrying about me. Sometimes, I forget how extreme I sound when I talk about calories or nutrition, or when I try to make an excuse for why I'm eating so little or skipping meals. Intermittent fasting, veganism, gluten free...These excuses can only take me so far. I hate that they care about me so much, because it would become so much harder for them if they knew. But I also haven't told anyone because if I'm honest, I'm scared that they'll take my ED away from me. I am still so far away from my goal weight to even consider risking recovery. I have come too far.
​
I have gaining and losing the same 20 lbs for years, so people are used to me dieting (in reality, just binge eating and fasting). But in the past few months, I've finally broken this cycle and I'm at my lowest weight so far. It's now visibly noticeable each time I lose a pound and I'm scared of what's to come. People complimenting my weight loss, or showing concern because I'm already so "healthy". They'll question why someone like me even wants to diet. I'm such an outspoken feminist, body-positive person. I'm an academic. I'm above this. I don't want their opinions on me to change, but I know they will. I'm so scared thinking about this future, but I'm more scared of a future where I can't go to a changing room without crying and my doughy, dimpled reflection.
​
I need this online community because at least with other ED sufferers, you can't break someone who's already broken. We can just be honest and talk. Do any of you feel the same? To anyone who has told people IRL, do you regret it, or has it made your life easier?
[Help] Appetite suppressants?
/u/brokenchalkboard [5'1 | CW: 132.8| BMI: 25.13 | Weight Lost: 27lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 20 20:53:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q08me/appetite_suppressants/
---
I’ve been trying to figure out how to stop my random ravenous hunger sprees and I really just want to take something that keeps my appetite pretty low. I know caffeine and ephedrine sometimes help people, and I’ve even tried hydroxycuf, but idk any suggestions of anything would be helpful.
[Rant/Rave] so homecoming is tonight...
/u/planetskinny
Created: Sat Oct 20 20:52:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q08ey/so_homecoming_is_tonight/
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and i feel overwhelmed, dysphoric, fat, and just genuinely so exhausted. today was just so tiring. but, at least i’ll be with my friends, right?
sorry. just needed to let this out.
What do you use to motivate yourself to start restricting again>
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 122lbs | 19.77 | GW: <114 | -18lbs | 23F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 20:47:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q071z/what_do_you_use_to_motivate_yourself_to_start/
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Every time I see a picture of a celebrity who I think is gorgeous and their body is absolutely perfect I look up their weight/height, calculate their BMI and *every damn time* it's my goal BMI.
I've been out of the game wayyy too long (1.5 years) and I'm ready to lose this weight. I hate that I recover, restrict, recover, restrict, recover, restrict. I'm just ready to finally feel good about my body where maybe my husband will actually want me and my body. I'm sick of it and I NEED to get back into the game before I lose my mind.
What do y'all use to help you get back into the game?
I just bought a gourmet pizza that I can't bring myself to eat. I hate having issues with food.
/u/cranne
Created: Sat Oct 20 20:25:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q0209/i_just_bought_a_gourmet_pizza_that_i_cant_bring/
---
So I've been dealing with a semi relapse lately. For the past 4 months I've been eating nothing but ensure. This time though it has nothing to do with calories or weight gain I'm, like, worried that my food will be tainted or poisoned or something will be wrong with it and I'll get sick. Whatever. I know it doesn't make sense. Either way my therapist is worried given my anorexia history and how much weight this spell has caused me to lose.
This week has been fairly decent though. I've been eating more "meal-y" type foods and I've been ensure free for 4 days.
Tonight all I wanted was this delicious vegan pizza one of the shops in my town serves. So I say fuck it and order it and some garlic knots with vegan ranch.
I literally can't even will myself to eat it. All I'm imagining is sneezing and unwashed hands and all the people that have probably touched this thing. I spent 30 bucks on something that's most likely gonna sit in my fridge until it rots and needs to be thrown away. I'm pissed.
Fuck food issues. This isn't fair. I just wanna eat some god damn pizza.
Water really be like that. Wow. 🤔
/u/SushiUschi
Created: Sat Oct 20 20:18:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9q007n/water_really_be_like_that_wow/
---
*Crisp
*Refreshing
*Calorie-free
*You can bathe in it
*It turns into ice
*Great at diluting shit
*Free of dyes
*Nourishes your cells
*Keeps your skin elastic
Water is really looking out for us.
[Discussion] “You’re cold because you’re not fat anymore “
/u/Shewantstolive
Created: Sat Oct 20 20:14:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzz6p/youre_cold_because_youre_not_fat_anymore/
---
Oh my sweet sweet mother in-law , if only you new what I’m doing to “not be fat anymore”. We were at an event and it was chilly out so I put my jacket on and had said I felt cold. And then when she realized how insulting that could sound she said , “well I mean you’ve never been fat , let me give you an example , you know if Serena Williams wasn’t as muscular and didn’t train as she does you’d be like what she would probably look like. “ it’s okay mother in-law I’ve always been a bigger girl and I’m going to make it my point to never ever be the bigger girl . I’m 137 as of right now and I intend to hit my goal of 13O by Halloween by any means necessary. And yes I am triggered and yes I am still fat and flabby and I just want to meet my goals and stay focused and not eat until I’m tiny.
[Intro] Hey I'm back
/u/empTXistence
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:54:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzueg/hey_im_back/
---
Sister started using reddit and the old accnt had like 1% too much personal info and occasional rants about shitty family so I nuked it just in case and started fresh.
You might remember me from some such instances as my accidental poisoning from coolant or fainting while driving.
It's good to be back after a little time away, missed yall 😛
6'1"
CW: 160 😭
GW: 130
Thanksgiving anxiety!!! ahhhh!!
/u/sipapito [4'11" | cw: 111lbs | bmi: 22.6 | gw: 95lbs | 22f]
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:48:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzt50/thanksgiving_anxiety_ahhhh/
---
one of the absolute hardest times of the year for me. Not only because the entire family event is centered around food but I always get the "oh, you're going to catch up to us!" comments from my overweight family members and it makes me want to run away and never eat again. I'm on this OMAD/high restriction atm and I'd really like to reach 100lbs by thanksgiving because it would feel really good to be smaller than I was last year (118lbs) and feel small and not worry about food even though I know the comments are gonna come. Idk it just all around sucks and I HATE everyone always saying they expect my "weight to catch up worth me" and "you can't be small forever".
that being said, I am having a real hard time with cravings. a question for you guys: what are some super densely flavored foods that are low cal? preferably savory? I work at an office 50+ hours a week so anything microwavable/doesn't need to be cooked foods are preferable!
[Help] I don't want to be like this
/u/uiume [5'5" | 120.5 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:38:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzqua/i_dont_want_to_be_like_this/
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I'm so sad and tired. I won't even seriously say *recovery* because I don't even know what that means. I just want to be thin, that's it. That's it. I can't even get below 120 after weeks of going up and down the scale. Purging hurts too much, restricting makes me want to die, eating "normally" makes me want to die. I want to be thin and I want to run and not look like I'm dying, I want to be able to process life normally without the fog of a nutrient-hungry brain.
The funny thing is that all I can think about right now is going to go buy binge food and purge it. I said I'd start exercising today and try to eat a healthy 1,200 calories but I can't even do that. I'm so so anxious right now. I feel so so so fat.
What am I supposed to do with all of these contradictions? It's so mentally and physically draining and I feel like a failure.
Hit a plateau, said fuck it and ate 900 cals of Panda Express in one sitting
/u/quentintarrantino
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:25:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pznv3/hit_a_plateau_said_fuck_it_and_ate_900_cals_of/
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Imagine the curb your enthusiasm theme playing while I fucking cry/chain smoked in my car before going back to work because I could feel the salt bloating me in real time.
Also I bought a lottery ticket if I win I’m gonna have my stomach removed thx
Resisting urge to binge after a bout of social anxiety.
/u/Ah_Mediocre
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:20:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzmj5/resisting_urge_to_binge_after_a_bout_of_social/
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Hey team! No need to respond, I just need to write out my social faux pas in hopes it distracts me from spending $30.00 at McDonalds just to throw it back up to calm myself down.
Backstory; I had planned on attending a supper club tonight, all week long. We started our first club last month at a close friend’s home and another couple announced that night they would host the next dinner. Fast forward to today (the day of the supper) I realized I didn’t have either their address nor the time of the event so I texted another girlfriend for this information so as to not distract the host while they prepare. She sent me the screenshot of the event on Facebook and my stomach dropped. Both my significant other and I are friends on Facebook with this couple and neither of us were included in the event. I went through my texts with the host this month and while she made multiple references to another event she was hosting she never brought up this dinner.
I know the mature thing would have been to call the host herself and ask, but at the same time I didn’t want to put her in an awkward position to either justify our not being invited or try to accommodate two additional people last minute.
I ran into one of the girls invited this morning and we discussed going together. When she asked what time we would leave together later this afternoon I explained that I wasn’t comfortable going not knowing that I was 100% invited. Especially since looking at the invite it was very explicit in giving advance warning if you were not attending for table setting reasons. My girlfriend is very rough and tumble and called me a pussy (albeit in jest) and it made my stomach hurt all the more not knowing what to do (Judy Blume just didn’t prepare me for this damn situation).
So I ended up not going, which I still believe was the right call, but then of course I have multiple girlfriends texting me asking where I was. Now I just feel like the world’s biggest asshole even after explaining and my anxiety is through the fucking roof and I’m crying and my stomach is sick and I really just want to punish myself via scratching my skin and purging but I’m going to resist because I know I will only hate myself in the morning. I just can’t help but fixate on all of them talking about me right now and thinking I am so rude for not attending. Sorry for the world’s most petty rant (insert “Kim there are people dying” gif). I just want to thank you for always being such a supportive community no matter how stupid my mental state makes me feel.
[Rant/Rave]Bulimia recovery update
/u/carnivoool
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:19:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzmcv/rantravebulimia_recovery_update/
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I posted a while ago about how [I decided to stop b/p cold turkey, after a solid 14 months of doing it every day, in February.](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/83vlw6/no_bp_for_a_month_how_i_managed_it_without/) Well, I gained 20lbs in the last 3 months from shoving my face full of shit every day. This was the hottest summer in living memory and I spent it hiding under giant sweaters because I'm ashamed of myself. Also having some weird throat/stomach problems (funny that I never had GI problems until 6 months after I stopped purging, but that's my luck!) and I'm convinced I have a tumor or lesion in my throat or something. Anxiety and hypochondria have kicked into overdrive, I feel shitty and tired all the time. My relationship had to go long-distance, and I'm convinced my boyfriend is disgusted with my weight gain, but is too nice to say it.
​
But I haven't purged in eight and a half months, so...yay?
[Discussion] Is anyone else just tired of the time it takes to have an eating disorder?
/u/gothicapples
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:08:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzjxf/is_anyone_else_just_tired_of_the_time_it_takes_to/
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Everyday I spend time
Thinking about food
Planning what to eat
Walking around the grocery store FOR HOURS
Weighing out the food sometimes over and over
Cooking the food just perfect
Making the food look just right
Multiple body checks
On and off the scale all day
God forbid you take lax then you are on and off the toilet
What I’m saying is I’m tired my eating disorder takes up my whole day it might as well be a full time job
Anyone with me?
I’m disgusting
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Sat Oct 20 19:04:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pziur/im_disgusting/
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I eat like shit and I hate myself
[Discussion] DAE have super muscular arms???
/u/hamaesa [5'5|CW:105|LW: 87|GW: 97|F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 18:56:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzh1r/dae_have_super_muscular_arms/
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As the title suggests, I am very thick, muscular, manly arms. This is partly from taking testosterone for three years (which I'm fortunately no longer doing), and partly from always climbing things. I hate how thick my arms are, while the rest of my body is thin. I used to have such thin, dainty wrists, but now they look stumpy and ugly 😔
I wish there were a way to slim down my arms without losing strength, but spot reducing as we all know is impossible.
Anyone else have a similar problem??
[Other] DAE beverage hoard? My haul after getting “groceries” lol
/u/yknowholic [5'10" | fat | bulimic | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 18:50:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzfhv/dae_beverage_hoard_my_haul_after_getting/
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https://i.redd.it/i117t7izrft11.jpg
[Goal] Estimated BMI? [trigger warning]
/u/LuckyDimension
Created: Sat Oct 20 18:43:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzdxr/estimated_bmi_trigger_warning/
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https://i.redd.it/484d7h6rqft11.png
[Other] Fml
/u/puppyfang [♡ 5'6" |GW 115| nb imp ♡]
Created: Sat Oct 20 18:42:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pzdmw/fml/
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https://i.redd.it/sw6tgibmqft11.jpg
[Discussion] Exercise+a bonus rant!
/u/groundbreakingday44
Created: Sat Oct 20 18:18:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pz7yt/exercisea_bonus_rant/
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So like I've been trying to recover after this newest relapse and some days are great. I can't exercise like at all atm because of torn ligaments in me knee and also I hate doing weights etc (I typically run, but bike and elliptical irritate it). I ate horribly today (healthy for a normal person but I just feel like I've eaten so much) and was about to tell my friend I ate awfully and should be exercising rn but stopped myself. Do normal people just not give a shit if they eat bad one day? Do they feel the need to compulsively work it off?
Rant- I am in a Physician assistant program in college and will be entering grad school in about a year or so. Found out we gotta wear bikinis for one of the labs to learn how to physical exam I guess. Not cool. I mean I'm not the worse off of my class in this situation by any means, even at my recovered weight, as there are people who are (literally) 100 lbs or more overweight. But gosh I'm already freaking out. I already planned a relapse to start tomorrow and "safely" begin losing weight now so I can do it slowly, aka have a year to lose 20lbs, so less then 0.5 pounds a week or 0.5 lbs a week. I hate this school so much. Always raising tuition, not enough housing but forcing students to live on campus for 3 years so they have money to build new shit. Ugh. I should've transferred when I could.
Tl;dr: do normal people compulsively exercise off any bad food they ate or do they just not give a shit? All girls in my major have to wear a string bikini in front of my the class in the next year for PA school, guys get to wear basketball shorts. I feel sexualized and fat.
Cute dark-ish boyfriend story
/u/mmmgood5
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:37:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyxng/cute_darkish_boyfriend_story/
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My boyfriend and I were talking about Reddit stuff and he asked what sub I was on and I told him and he was all worried and then I explained it as:
“You know how you go on the Motorcycle sub because you don’t have any friends that ride? It’s like that, I actually get to talk to people who experience what I do.”
And he said “I guess they are both hobbies that can kill you.”
And it made me laugh so hard so I had to share it.
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend brought me home not only ONE Cinnabon cinn. role.. but two...
/u/Tsuyu_irl
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:37:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyxfz/my_boyfriend_brought_me_home_not_only_one/
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https://i.redd.it/yu4dv6gxeft11.png
[Discussion] Anybody else trans/enby?
/u/msnormanmaine
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:33:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pywfs/anybody_else_transenby/
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I feel like losing weight will help me have a more androgynous appearance and people will stop misgendering em or assuming my pronouns or preferred identification? I can’t dress masc because I just feel so fat? Also I hate my body in all the waysss and want to cause it harm
asked the mcdonald's cashier "how many calories can i get for $23.75?"
/u/kat-official [5'5" | -67.5 lbs | 🍑katv]
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyvz7/asked_the_mcdonalds_cashier_how_many_calories_can/
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the cashier was like, "sorry what? how many calories?" and I was like "yeah, what's the most calorie dense thing you have and how many can i get for $23?"
maybe it's my ED brain, but i swear he looked so horrified or disgusted or something judgemental. but i don't care i was sad and i needed to binge, i was already there in my pyjamas with wet hair might as well run that extra mile and make it that much more obvious i'm a fucking mess right now. whatever dude, i'm at my lowest weight ever i deserve this shit
I might be late to the party but cough drops?!!?
/u/officialtarantino
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:29:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyvmo/i_might_be_late_to_the_party_but_cough_drops/
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Idk if this is a known thing but cough drops are so good for when you need to do something with your mouth but don't want to eat! If I'm stressed or bored I usually turn to food, but if I have a mint or something to suck on it staves off a binge. Cough drops are so much bigger than mints and take wayyy longer to dissolve which is perfect. Yes there are sugar and calories but they're so negligible compared to the damage I could do with a binge. Does anyone else do this??
[Discussion] Starting a fast today
/u/ilikebigbooks98765 [4'11 | 95 | 19.2 | GW: 80 | F22]
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:29:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyvjl/starting_a_fast_today/
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I started a 0 calorie fast today at noon, and I'm determined to fast for at least 2 days, my goal is 3, and I'd be ecstatic if I reach 4 or 5 depending on how I feel. I'll only be drinking water and diet ginger ale. I don't drink coffee or tea and I usually just drink water, but when I'm fasting I like the flavor of something other than water. I feel like I'm the only one here who hasn't tried Monster zero yet, so I might try some of that if I need an energy boost. I've been bingeing the last few days and I really need to make up for it with this fast. Anyways, wish me luck :)
[Help] PORTABLE FOOD FOR LUNCH (packaged)
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:11:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyqx1/portable_food_for_lunch_packaged/
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I need to bringsomething for lunch because my mom forces me to buy lunch at school, but says that if I bring something she wont worry about it then. So recommend low calorie bars, bagged nuts, or tell me some little things that I can portion myself. (Basically healthy snack foods )
Trying “maintenance” calories
/u/existing--
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:08:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyq0s/trying_maintenance_calories/
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Except not really. I changed my MFP goal to the maintenance calories of my GOAL WEIGHT. So I can get used to eating that amount..
My actual weight loss plan is going to be to eat drastically under that obviously - and throwing in fast days here and there. But the goal is to never go over it. So for now even if I eat all of those calories I’d technically still be losing and then eventually when I’m that weight I’ll be used to eating that much and can maintain.
If that makes sense? Idk. Let’s see if this even lasts or works lol I’m just sick of fucking bingeing and failing at restricting.
My best friend called me fat
/u/oakleyluver
Created: Sat Oct 20 17:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pypf0/my_best_friend_called_me_fat/
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And while being completely aware of how one of my biggest struggles is that I feel unlovable, he told me no guys would be attracted to I reached my goal weight. He’s the only boy who has ever seen me naked too. So the person who knows me best and has seen the most of me told me that.
He said he knew boys would like me when I was think because back like 4 years ago (before a lot of weight gain), lots of boys were interested in me. He also knows that at that time, 4 years ago, I was diagnosed and being treated for bulimia.
I know this should just be like fuel to try harder to lose weight, but hearing all the thoughts you say to yourself confirmed by the person closest to you, just makes me feel so... hopeless. Even if I try to keep going, he was my only friend, but I don’t know how I’d ever be able to speak to him again. I’m all alone now.
Anybody else let weight keep them from embracing an aesthetic they really want?
/u/Saltinmylattee
Created: Sat Oct 20 16:54:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pym9i/anybody_else_let_weight_keep_them_from_embracing/
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Atm I'm pretty chubby. ( Just had a baby three months ago) and I want to go back to my gothic/punk look I had before the pregnancy so bad. But....I feel like I want be able to pull it off. That I'm to fat now and my best bet is to just try and retain a more ' normal' appearance because I feel like if I go back to dressing how I did previously I'll just look like another fat 20something year old alt girl who's trying to hard.
"All you need to do is love your body!"
/u/GryffGryff
Created: Sat Oct 20 16:15:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pybpk/all_you_need_to_do_is_love_your_body/
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If I did, i probably wouldn't have an eating disorder :-)
Thanks, you cured me.
/Rant
It's amazing when people think just eating and just loving yourself is the answer to everything. If it was, so many people wouldn't relapse. It is was, so many people wouldn't struggle. People will just say anything to you without understanding anything about you or your history with eating disorders. It's really amazing.
[Help] where my canadians at?
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 16:13:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pyb80/where_my_canadians_at/
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I live on the us/canadian border, and am headed into New Brunswick tomorrow to go to the movies/shopping. Are there any products I should definitely stop and get that we don’t have over in the US? I typically dread going grocery shopping, but it’s a lot of fun to go searching for different safety foods across the border haha.
[Rant/Rave] “Skinny as a rail”
/u/2worried2care [5'6" | CW 116.4| BMI 18.8| 26F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 16:10:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pya8x/skinny_as_a_rail/
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A family friend told my best friend to “feed her well, she’s skinny as a rail” in reference to me. I’ve never been called this so I was thrilled about it, especially since I woke up early this morning to go to the gym before my day started and went to the gym after 10pm last night. He fed us some scrambled eggs which I was a little anxious about but thought it would be rude to refuse.
Fast forward to dinner time, where my best friend’s cousin made homemade pizza. I added up all the ingredients and it turned out to be about 350 cals per slice. So I ate one slice but it was so good so I considered eating a second one. But it’s only 6pm and I know we’re making cookies later so I’ll probably eat a little dough. So I kept thinking of the comment my family friend said earlier and was able to leave the table after one slice of pizza. Now I can’t decide if I’m proud or disappointed that I couldn’t bring myself to just enjoy some pizza. Ugh, I just wanted to put these thoughts out somewhere because I can’t really talk to anyone about it. Sorry for the pointless rant
[Rant/Rave] I ate and didn't feel bad
/u/Internet_Soup
Created: Sat Oct 20 16:06:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9py956/i_ate_and_didnt_feel_bad/
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For the past two days I've eaten things I've wanted and I haven't felt too bad or much guilt. I feel alive and great, maybe because of my meds but I feel good anyway. :)
I feel happy!
/u/Helpmexoxo
Created: Sat Oct 20 16:03:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9py8gh/i_feel_happy/
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So today I had a 13hr fast. I did not feel hungry at all! I feel like this will be easy. As long as I keep myself distracted and sleep early I can skip as many meals as possible. Also I work out a lot so that’ll help too. Soon I’ll be back to having my gorgeous ribs showing again!
High volume, low calorie Vegetarian protein sources?
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Sat Oct 20 15:59:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9py7e5/high_volume_low_calorie_vegetarian_protein_sources/
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I'm a volume eater, but lately it seems like no matter how much I eat, I'm always hungry again like, 5 minutes later.
This is making low restriction very hard. Last week I was maintaining, and this week I've been high restricting. I noticed that when I eat foods like beans, FF Plain Greek Yogurt, etc, I'm usually full after a pretty reasonable portion size. I also cheated this week and ate some boiled chicken that was in my fridge, but man did it leave me satiated.
I had a GINORMOUS pot of creamy mushroom+eggplant+zucchini noodle soup for dinner for only like 300 calories. I was super full for 5 minutes, then the hunger came back. I decided to try some fat free greek yogurt that I had lying around in my fridge that I had been putting off trying. Unfortunately, I'm over my limit today by 100 calories, but I ate it and like an hour later, I'm still v satisfied.
Clearly, the reason why I've been so hungry lately is because I'm missing out on protein. However, most vegetarian sources of protein are very low volume for a very high amount of calories. IMO protein bars, beans, quinoa, falafels, and even tofu is way too high in calories for me to justify eating it. I want to go back to low restriction, but idk if I can do so anytime soon without my goddamn protein. Plus I used to binge on CLIF bars so they are 100% a fear food for me.
​
It really sux that chicken and turkey is lower in cals than quinoa and beans. FML.
​
[Discussion] Cheat Night!!!
/u/Therinnyone
Created: Sat Oct 20 15:35:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9py0sd/cheat_night/
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Tw; possible binge/purge going on later.
Oh my dear fuck, dao get so so so excited for a cheat night?!?!?
The booze, the ice cream, the nachos and cheese!!
This is the one night I am effing allowing myself!!
I took laxatives a couple of hours ago and I know I will end up purging this, but oh my fuck you guys!! This is my night, and I am so fucking excited!!!
I love you all so much, and thanks to your support, I am down 10lbs this week! 😁👏
You guys are amazing!
[Rant/Rave] Why are humans like this?!?!
/u/thetexangypsy
Created: Sat Oct 20 15:32:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9py02f/why_are_humans_like_this/
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I get that humans are social creatures, that like to bond.
BUT DO WE HAVE TO DO IT OVER FOOD?
My dads girlfriend and I went to lunch today, and while we did enjoy ourselves, I was internally panicking the entire time because we went to a burger place and I knew if I didn't eat enough she would ask my dad about it.
Why couldn't we have done something else, like maybe played board games or something that didn't involve food?
i got a wholefoods gift card and an eating disorder
/u/peachypeachy9 [5'6.75" | CW 129lb | GW 115lb? | F18]
Created: Sat Oct 20 15:29:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxz3d/i_got_a_wholefoods_gift_card_and_an_eating/
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👀 everythings overpriced there but if anyone has lowcal recommendations im listening...
[Rant/Rave] possibility im pregnant
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 52.7kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Sat Oct 20 15:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxz04/possibility_im_pregnant/
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i had sex without a condom and i was supposed to get my period today and i haven’t
i know it’s only a day late but i’m panicking
i can’t even buy a pregnancy test because i don’t have a ride to my store that’s not my parents and they cannot find out i had sex
it was literally my first time i’m only 16 and i’m terrified
i hope my period is just late from ed shit
fuck
How long is it safe to fast or low restrict under 300?
/u/beeeleave [5’4 | 119 |20.8 | 11| female]
Created: Sat Oct 20 15:26:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxyer/how_long_is_it_safe_to_fast_or_low_restrict_under/
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I have been living off of coffee, gum and Monsters for the past three days. I feel fine and I’m staying hydrated so I want to keep going.
budgeting food around plans
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | SW185 | LW108.7 | CW126 | BMI18.27 | 20f]
Created: Sat Oct 20 15:14:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxuwp/budgeting_food_around_plans/
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I've been fasted for around 36 hours now because I was supposed to get chinese with a friend "sometime this weekend." So I figure that'd be today, right? I literally told her I was free Saturday. I wake up at 3 bc acid reflux sleeplessness to a "hey text me what time we're going" at 11 and a "hey I got caught up in other plans, didn't know if you were coming! Let me know about tomorrow before anything else comes up!" like 10 minutes before I woke up.
It's literally my fault for waking up at 3 Pee Em like a depressed starving bitch, but I'm so hangry over it. I've been eating too much lately and I just really wanted my fucking broccoli beef, spring rolls and bubble tea without worrying about being over. Not even considering that it's supposed to be about catching up with a friend, just the food. I hate this, and now I have to pray that I won't binge or anything.
[Rant/Rave] PERIOD BINGES :(
/u/bexsun2
Created: Sat Oct 20 14:36:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxk8z/period_binges/
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today was the first opportunity to weigh myself in a week and even though I knew I shouldn’t because I’m bloated, on my period, constipated and I had already eaten (it was around noon when I got home and could weigh myself), of course I still stepped on the scale.
I should have lost weight over the last week (about a pound however I think I was underestimating my calories so maybe only half a pound) but of course, it said 111 which is 0.4 pounds higher than last week.
Even though logically I know that’s not accurate it was pretty crushing and pretty much ruined my day.
ended up taking a nap to avoid my hunger and woke up around dinner when my dad decided to make homemade pizza and he had bought chocolate chip cookies. my calorie total jumped from 350 to almost 1300 real mfing quick.
still under my TDEE (1500) but it’s only 5 p.m and those cookies are calling my name from the kitchen, even though I already ate 4.
I hate myself!! I haven’t had a full on binge in like two weeks but I’m willing to bet I’m gonna break that streak sometime this week.
Not really sure what the point of this post is, but i really just needed to rant. periods suck man :(
[Thinspo] Is this a weird to have a fictional character as your thinspo?
/u/-PM-ME-NICE-THINGS- [5"2 | CW: 51kg | BMI: 20.6 | Ortho]
Created: Sat Oct 20 14:35:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxjq0/is_this_a_weird_to_have_a_fictional_character_as/
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I'm not even kidding, my main motivation for losing weight right now is to become [Shego from Kim Possible](https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11128/111289205/5863734-main.png) for Halloween. Look at that waist though, and her face shape? Damn.
[Help] Question to my fellow drunkorexics in da house
/u/7st1lb
Created: Sat Oct 20 14:15:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxds1/question_to_my_fellow_drunkorexics_in_da_house/
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What are your thoughts on the vegan -dairy-free-gluten -free-Baileys -Almond -Milk? It s supposed to be 67kcal per Glas, which is significantly less than the original Irish Cream version (130per glas).
I’m a bit short on ca$h atm so I wanted to know if It’s worth the price:)
[Intro] didnt eat enough and passed out. stay safe all of you.
/u/murkybayonet
Created: Sat Oct 20 14:12:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pxd3w/didnt_eat_enough_and_passed_out_stay_safe_all_of/
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https://i.redd.it/p8chiwiieet11.jpg
Why is used flair disabled on my mobile
/u/wethail [5’3”| 122.2| 21.6 bmi|vegan| 23F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:54:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9px7mc/why_is_used_flair_disabled_on_my_mobile/
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I have to update my 1pb weight loss
[Discussion] Does anyone else hate it when they deal with substances/alcohol and food?
/u/nibmeister
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:52:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9px6zi/does_anyone_else_hate_it_when_they_deal_with/
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Honestly, I haven't touched weed in a while - it scares the crap out of me. I've been restricting for a good 1.5 months now and I don't want to stop.. but I can't sleep. I ingest too much caffeine and end up with a wack sleeping schedule for several days.
The only thing that remotely helps me is THC in any form - Indica preferably. It knocks me out and mellows me for hours, which I love. But I can't help but want to eat everything in sight and it fucking SUCKS. I used to B/P, and for the sake of my teeth I only restrict now - so that's not an option.
I feel like I'm caught in a catch 22. I either choose to lose weight and not sleep OR gain weight and sleep. I hate this.
Alcohol helps occasionally, and I have an extreme aversion to foods whenever I drink (THANK GOD), but I can only drink so many gin sodas without everyone knowing.
I'm tired of hiding everything.
I did cardio today...
/u/LeOssa
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:51:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9px6tq/i_did_cardio_today/
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So, obviously that means I want to bake a whole chocolate cake and eat it in the closet to hide my shame.
Gah
Why does burning calories me want to eat more calories? It's almost like there's a reason for it that I'm vehemently, unhealthily ignoring /s
[Rant/Rave] Broke my fast at 198.5 hours with a MAJOR binge
/u/ameliasophia [5'3 | 97.2 | 17.2 | F | ]
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:51:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9px6tn/broke_my_fast_at_1985_hours_with_a_major_binge/
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So got to 8 days and 6 hours with my fast. Got really bad chest pains, feeling constantly faint and nauseous. Broke down over facetime to my boyfriend back in England and he made me promise to eat something and send him a picture as proof.
​
It started out okay. Just a 140 cal ice cream sandwich. Then girl at work shared her packet of crispy m&ms with me. Still nothing too bad.
​
Then I lost control. 2 cheese straws, one large thick bread roll, 3 cheese crackers, 3 grapes, and then 3 portions of desert. Not one but three. [Here's the desert in question if you want to see](https://i.imgur.com/IG3zNI9.jpg) \- it was not exactly small and by the third one I felt so sick that it was painful to eat but I couldn't stop myself.
​
No idea how many calories I must have consumed. I imagine around 3500-4000. I feel so sick. My stomach hurts so much. It just goes to show that I was right all along - eating just brings more pain. There's no good that comes from eating. I plan to immediately go back to fasting. I can't bear this feeling of food inside me. I feel so so sick.
[Discussion] My boyfriend jokes about me having an eating disorder, but little does he know..
/u/qxmemie
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:41:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9px3y2/my_boyfriend_jokes_about_me_having_an_eating/
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Lets just say my boyfriend has a very dark sense of humor. If i ever told him the truth he would feel like a complete asshole.
[Rant/Rave] Yikes?
/u/DemureHarmony [5’2| CW: 87.5 | GW: 80]
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:40:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9px3ek/yikes/
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I’m so sorry because I know no one wants to read this, but... here I go?
I have a doctor’s appointment in 6 days, and I need to gain weight to be 90 pounds. Otherwise, they’ll know that something wrong with me (even though I’m pretty sure I’m faking it).
So today I was like “Alright I’ll just eat what I need and want to.” But now I’ve eaten (tw?)
3 Kinds Bars
3 Slices of Pizza
4 chocolate covered strawberries and pineapples
A 10 Cal pickle
A caramel cream
And half a muffin
And my average for the week is still under what it should be to gain weight. I’m at about 6,000 for the week (considering I just ate 3,000 calories alone today) because of this and I want to sob. Should I stop eating for the rest of the days till my appointment? Did I offset any weight I could’ve been losing?
I really wish I could feel alright, I mean I used to do a full days eating and then eat a pint of ice cream!
Yeah I’m just scared. And huge.
[Help] I... Just meant to fart.
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:38:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9px2ve/i_just_meant_to_fart/
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...Yeah, you can Imagine what just happened. Luckily I was at home, and realized within 5 seconds what had happened, although at first I thought I had peed myself. Nope...
WHAT IS THIS. I don't even have stoumach problems. I've had One Pepsi max today, and mineral water and my normal keto diet. Wtf.
(Sorry 😅😐😑😶🙄😣)
[Help] Question for former obese to normal /underweight
/u/matcha_madeinheaven
Created: Sat Oct 20 13:19:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwxdg/question_for_former_obese_to_normal_underweight/
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How long did it take you to go from obese to a normal or underweight bmi?
I had a baby a year ago and I have lost about 40 pounds and feel very meh about it. I'm happy for the loss, but considering I am only 5 feet I don't think I'll be content until I'm within reach of the lower normal range.
I was overweight/slightly obese as a kid and all I want is to finally feel what it feels like to be a much lower weight. Has anyone else achieved this? What was it like, did it last?
I'm technically recovered...
/u/Creative__Username__ [64"| CW: disordered | GW: Satisfied | UGW: Happy]
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:55:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwq58/im_technically_recovered/
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...but like, not really. Like I skip breakfast and lunch, but then will eat like 1600 at dinner so . . . we won't ever really recover, huh?
[Help] help estimating calories??
/u/orkestrels
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:48:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwnw3/help_estimating_calories/
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one of my friends bought a chocolate chocolate chip mini bundtcake (bundtlet?) at nothing bundt cakes for us to share that's sitting in the fridge right now. it's ~180 g total, but i'd only be eating like a third of that, if i end up eating any.. i've been looking up nutritional info for an hour but even though it's from a fairly large chain, it doesn't look like there's any info up online, and even someone who asked about it on their facebook got a, "sorry, we don't have that info at this time"(?!!!) which is driving me crazy. the only information i can even find on what's in it is that it has milk, eggs, chocolate, and chocolate chips in the cake, and cream cheese and butter in the frosting, which is truly enlightening.. it's also gluten-free, apparently. i even found rumors that it has mayonnaise in it to be more moist.. ugh..
some websites list it as 400-500 kcal for the whole thing, but that seems low to me? but i also don't really eat sweets, so my guess might just be cynical..? please help lol T______T
Most fucked up things I’ve done
/u/perfectlyhereandnow [5’5 | CW:111 | BMI:18.4 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:42:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwm0h/most_fucked_up_things_ive_done/
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Can’t sleep so reminiscing about my low points. So many cringey moments binge eating, so many sad ones restricting.
- I was so desperate to visit my family where I could binge away from living with my husband, I’d been not eating for days in preparation, and then my plane got delayed on a transfer. I couldn’t wait any longer so I used the compensation ticket they gave me to go buy 10 giant frozen yogurt cups, and tried to pretend like I was buying them for my family or something, and then sat and ate all of them. And then I was in such stomach pain afterward I had to unbutton my pants and lied down in a corner of the airport until my plane came
- Also when I couldn’t binge at home with my husband I’d go buy and eat several half gallon tubs of ice cream literally right in public, in a food court or at my university, trying to hide behind my backpack but I’m sure as hell everyone must’ve seen me
- I was binge eating while driving so frantically and so not paying attention that I ate some weird foam thing in the bottom of my bag, which is obviously not edible and some kind of chemical thing? and made me gag and nearly throw up
- In undergrad I spent my entire meal plan allowance on binge food in like a month
- Also more than once snuck into the adjoining room mates’ room if it was unlocked and stole their food to binge on. As well as my own roommate’s food
- Back when I was living at home my parents wouldn’t let me have a scale, so I’d drive to Walmart every day and either put on a weird show of researching which scale to buy by trying them all out, or trying to casually step on them without people noticing
- All the times I went digging through disgusting trash to find binge food I threw out of course, and all the times I’ve hidden in bathrooms to binge on the toilet
- Taking my birth control pills and depression meds on an empty stomach specifically so that it would make me so nauseous I couldn’t eat all day
- That time I stole binge ice cream from the grocery store I was working at and got caught by security and fired...
- My in-laws took me to a 2-day resort for my birthday a few years ago with a fancy hotel and meals and even arranged for a surprise birthday cake to be delivered, and I made up excuses to not eat a single thing the entire time
- Back living at home, at my most unhealthy point I forced myself to jump rope because it burned the most calories, but it hurt so bad I would be like grunting and crying in my room. And once my mom came in crying and begging me to stop, but I just yelled at her to get out and locked myself in and kept jumping
- Also living at home I had to exercise for at least an hour before I binged, so I ran circles around my bedroom so much that I wore tracks and even huge holes in the carpet
- All the embarrassing stories I panic blurted our at store registers when I knew I’d be recognized buying insane binge food all the time, about how I was buying food for a party, or my favorite I had to buy a bunch of ice cream because my husband had just had jaw surgery and I was trying to make him a ton milkshakes (??)
I’m sure I’ve got many more... Feel free to share yours <3
[Discussion] i think like half of my recovery weight is water
/u/greenberyl2 [5'8 | CW: 122lbs | 22F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:35:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwjq0/i_think_like_half_of_my_recovery_weight_is_water/
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i attempted recovery in summer and now im relapsing and my weight is dropping fast, like 13lbs in a week fast.
my whole body looked so big after the 1st week of recovery, it freaked me out. i heard about people having a really bloated tummy in recovery but this weight looked real because it was in my arms, legs and face too. anyway i relapsed after weighing myself and ive shrunk so much in such a short period of time, its kinda nuts.
has anyone else experienced something similar?
[Goal] Back on my bulllllshitt
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 134.4 | 19 | -47 lbs | F22]
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:32:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwixb/back_on_my_bulllllshitt/
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So I finally got my shit together with the whole not eating thing, and I’m 133 pounds as of this morning. Damn, all it took was a 6 day fast *ahem: when I say fast.. I mean.. a 6 day bender without eating any food* **is that still a fast?? lol I’m so fucked** but yeah, my body legit is breaking down, but it’s cool because I’m skinny?? The cosmetics section cashier in a Walgreens told me I was looking great, and thought my outfit was “super cute” so like, I’m winning?? ***if anyone is confused, I’m definitely LOSING*** ED is winning, mental health stays taking the fattest L.
Running ability hinges on motivation and not endurance?
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:32:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwivr/running_ability_hinges_on_motivation_and_not/
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I had not run in a long time. About a year.
Then last weekend I did a 5k and walked most of it and ran in 2-300m intervals. My legs felt heavy. I was cold. Wheezing. My shins ached. I felt like after a years break, and 15kg weight gain, running endurance was back to zero.
Started frequenting communities online again last week after deciding it’s just not possible for this girl to ever get rid of ED and began intermittent fasting and restricting. again. (Binge monster I will conquer you!!)
Today I went out for run with my husband. Even though I was not fast, we ran 8km and then walked 2km. If my ankle did not begin to ache I think I would have ran 10k.
I wonder why I couldn’t run last week but could run this week?
Any experience something similar?
[Rant/Rave] I wish y’all were in SD
/u/mmblarg
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwgg8/i_wish_yall_were_in_sd/
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I just wanna find a group of broke-ass ana’s to hate-exercise with without having to sign up for yoga or Pilates or a gym cause i’m broke...
Oh and to share super low cal meal recipients with and maybe even cook some of them together for funsies...
Siiiiiiiigh
[Other] a hydration hoe💁🏼♀️
/u/jasmine0326
Created: Sat Oct 20 12:22:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pwfda/a_hydration_hoe/
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https://i.redd.it/dac3x3crudt11.jpg
[Help] Jumping on the Bronkaid bandwagon today!
/u/anemicbitch
Created: Sat Oct 20 11:45:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pw3st/jumping_on_the_bronkaid_bandwagon_today/
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Any tips? Should I take anything else with it? I’ve seen that a lot of people take it with aspirin and caffeine. What do you take it with?
[Rant/Rave] Yarg
/u/madfatreddit
Created: Sat Oct 20 11:39:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pw1zt/yarg/
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Stupid legs, stupid body. Stupid being tall so never looking thin. Wearing a size two & still having trunk legs. Frig.
I'm scared to step on the scale. This sucks.
Thanks for listening
[Other] just broke up with my bf
/u/crossdressingcarp [5’10 | 20 | f | cw: 🐘 | 🍑🌱🐻]
Created: Sat Oct 20 11:28:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvysb/just_broke_up_with_my_bf/
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cant wait to see how my ed will react to this. binge? purge? restrict? place ur bets now!!
I’m skinny because I want to get revenge, and make people jealous.
/u/raspberryfleur [5'4 | 102 | 17.5 | -75 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 11:21:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvwvn/im_skinny_because_i_want_to_get_revenge_and_make/
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I’ll be honest, I like to be skinny because I am competitive. I like looking better than other people. Also, I love being the slimmest girl in the room. I almost feed off of the stares I get from other people. I’d like to think most of them are good, who knows.
Before, I was the stereotypical awkward middle school/high school girl. Depressed so I barely paid attention to hygiene. No confidence. You can see how well my social life is.
I want to say fuck you to all the girls who made fun of my fat body and lack of confidence. I want to say fuck you to the guys who asked me out as a joke to laugh with their friends. And now those girls? Acting like we’re long lost friends. The guys? I’ve had a couple of former bullies ask me out on a date after they didn’t recognize me. I had to show one a photo of me from middle school. He literally threw himself at me.
Now, I’m sitting at 102 pounds. I’m a bit more confident in my clothes, and have better fashion sense and hygiene lol. I have people complimenting me daily, and it’s a strange feeling. I’m now a girl a guy wants to be “ seen” with, if you can put it that way. It’s a strange feeling to go from the girl people ask out as a joke, to having people ask you out constantly or be too nervous to!
And at work? Shit. I used to be invisible and people barely noticed me. I went to a new job, which is where I am now and shit. I work with almost all women. I didn’t know they could be so catty, some of them. Constantly asking me how to be slim and hot. I’ve seen the few guys at work check me out too. I don’t act on it, but fuck it feels powerful to feel attractive and wanted. I’ve never felt that until I was skinny.
I want to get down to 99lbs. I just want to see what it’s like. I can almost taste it. I have no appetite anyway. We’ll see how far I get.
Pokemon go
/u/handzies
Created: Sat Oct 20 11:07:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvsv8/pokemon_go/
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Pokemon go is my restrictive selfs best friend. Like, it gets you out the house and rewards you for walking stupid amounts. I wish I could gather all the anas in my town and make a raid team. Like "oh I'm done" then ill check an egg and be like "fine 3 more km" or "well only 3 more great throws till a mystery catch". Whats that. Your done? GUESS WHAT BIS ONE MORE KM AND DRAGONAIR WILL FIND ANOTHER CANDY, YOU BETTA WORK!
I was saving all my calories for an engagement party that is now cancled, so I'm just playing Pokemon go.
[Discussion] Does anyone else see themselves differently in photos you take of yourself vs. photos other people take?
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Sat Oct 20 10:56:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvpgl/does_anyone_else_see_themselves_differently_in/
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When I take photos of myself I often feel I look big. I compare them to pictures of my legs and arms and face from the day and week before. My face always looks average and when I lose indents in places and don't automatically see them through the lens I feel like I gained. Trying to find the right angles of my body to look small. Seeing my thighs pushed down and grow and face look round.
​
Then....other people send you pictures from something (party/event) or post images. In those I see a gross looking person. My face looks fucked up and awkward. I look smaller but it a gross way. Abnormal looking and freakish. I HATE those photos. I look diseased.
​
Then the mirror shows A LOT of imperfections! I can literally see fat pockets.
​
So basically no matter what I hate these photos and my body. I know we all deal with this, but the vast difference is alarming to me.
In the end I think I prefer mine as they seem more realistic since I have taken them. But other people photos of me make me look like the crypt keeper. NOT attractive in the slightest. I feel like it's not even me. I don't know that person.
​
Does anyone else deal with this? It's like in the end what do I REALLY look like?
[Discussion] Cal Counting
/u/sailorskinny [5'3" | CW: 110 | 19.5 | HW: 172 | ]
Created: Sat Oct 20 10:55:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvp80/cal_counting/
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Sorry if someone else has already posted this, I personally haven't seen it yet and have no idea if this app is used popularly but I found an app called Fooducate that lets you view nutrition facts on all types of food and has a calorie counting feature, too. I found it super helpful when going to the grocery store and trying to look for new brands of my safe foods. They rate it on a letter scale and break down ingredients like protein, sugar, etc based on a percentage. Not only that but if something is rated particularly low or is low-cal high sugar it presents you with a better alternative in that food category that has an overall better letter score. I thought this might be a helpful app to use for all of us here that didn't/don't know about it. With that in mind, are there any other apps like Fooducate that anyone likes to use?? I have a Galaxy S8+ so anything exclusive to Apple I can't get. :(
People are noticing I'm losing weight which feels good but also a little terrifying
/u/HellaGayThrowaway [5'10"|CW:193.8|SW:225|GW:140|NB21]
Created: Sat Oct 20 10:41:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvl09/people_are_noticing_im_losing_weight_which_feels/
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I've lost just over thirty pounds in the past two months since I started restricting. I started in the obese BMI category and I'm only down to the overweight category now but thirty pounds is still a lot of weight.
A week ago today, no one had noticed. And to be honest, I can't see a fucking difference in the mirror so I figured maybe I just didn't look thinner. Sure, my pants button a little easier but that's literally the only change I've noticed in two months so clearly thirty pounds can't actually be that much.
In a moment of panic about how fat I still look, I asked my fwb if he'd noticed if I'd lost weight. He's the only person who knows I relapsed into restricting and he's been incredibly good about dealing with it for the most part. He was kind of shocked that I asked. He told me of course he had noticed, and that I'm starting to look healthier. He didn't want to bring it up because he didn't want to trigger me but he said my face had thinned out and my ass looked better.
Then, a day or two later, I was wearing a tighter fitting t-shirt because I was about to go exercise. I walked past my mom and she exclaimed about how skinny I'm looking and asked if I was finally getting healthy. That was kind of a backhanded compliment, to be honest, because that woman has been pressuring me to lose a lot of weight since I was eight years old under the guise of being "healthy" and I place a lot of blame on her for how fucked my relationship with food is now.
And then, last night I was with one of my closest friends hanging out and drinking. We're both from very feminist social circles, which includes things like size acceptance/not fat shaming/all that. I've had conversations with her before about how health classes at our university would include assignments for things like calorie counting and how that's super triggering and she apparently restricted to some extent when she was younger. As we were talking, I mentioned that I had pretty much stopped drinking and ended up losing ten pounds because of it (that ten pounds was prior to when I started restricting, so I'm currently forty pounds down from my HW in March). My darling, slightly tipsy, very thin and fat accepting friends told me that she'd noticed I was losing weight, and that she didn't want to feed into all that body shame-y bullshit about thin being good but I was looking "fine". Y'all, I think that was the best damn comment of the three that I received. Even my friend who believes people can look good at any size and should weigh whatever they want and eat whatever they want thinks I look better as I drop towards a normal BMI category.
I'm scared now, though. I'm upping my calories a tiny bit to prevent binging and now that I've dropped a lot of that major weight that I always lose at the beginning, I'll be losing weight more slowly. But still, I'm going to be losing weight, and apparently people are noticing, which means at some point someone might start to ask questions about it. My UGW is another fifty pounds down from where I am now. if I'm careful about restricting and keep myself from starting back up binging, I could lose that in the next ten months, no problem, and will have dropped 85 pounds in a year. That'll raise questions. As good as the compliments feel, sometimes I wish people just didn't notice my body and I could do as I please and starve myself without anyone saying anything.
Idk what the point of this whole thing was but thanks for reading if you made it this far.
Different this time
/u/fellowrelatableteen [5'10"| CW: 156 | 22.4| GW: 130| Female]
Created: Sat Oct 20 10:40:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvkyl/different_this_time/
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I've recently just started relapsing again and need to vent.
​
I was never actually diagnosed but I most definitely developed an eating disorder back in 8th grade(12th now). I lost 20lbs in like a month and was eating like 800 calories a day. I started bingeing and restricting in an awfully unhealthy cycle and eventually even started purging too. I was determined to look thinner and as feminine as possible, and it was the only thing that made me stop feeling masculine and horrible (I'm trans). The only real thing that stopped me was being hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I saw some people with much worse weight issues than me and it scared me out of it.
​
That didn't mean that the tendencies didn't stop, though. I still mentally counted calories for everything I ate and would try to at least maintain my weight. Every year or so I would freak out over some weight gain and attempt to restrict. I eventually ate normally, and was for the most part normal. I came out publicly and began to not hate my body as much. I still had the tendencies though.
​
Over the past year or so I have gained another 10-15lbs and in the past week or so I've fallen all the way back down the rabbit hole. It's different this time, though. It's no longer really even about my body all that much. Yeah, I'm not as skinny as I would like but its not a product of body hate(well, not as much as it used to be). I don't even really know why I'm doing it.
​
It feels a lot more cold and calculated. I know exactly what I am doing to my body and just don't care. I have been restricting to 800-1000cal(TDEE is around 1900) and it has been working. I am on Vyvance so it's not like its hard to restrict and I don't binge that much. But, Why am I even doing this? I don't know if it is a way of self harming or suicide or what. Just as I have began to feel happy about myself this comes and kicks me in the ass. It's almost as if I don't want to be happy. I don't know what it is.
​
This has been a bit of a mindless rant but I needed to vent about this and don't have many other people to talk to. When I first started developing my ED I kept telling myself I would stop and that it's just to loose some weight and I tried to rationalized it. It was emotional and confusing and everything else. This time is cold, calculated, and meaningless. I just don't get it.
​
​
Just got back from the gym...
/u/xpetitallegro [5'7" | SW: 170 | CW: 152 | GW: 100 | 26F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 10:21:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvfee/just_got_back_from_the_gym/
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Where I powerwalked for 3 hours on the treadmill while watching Starving in Suburbia. Twice.
So I have an ED. FIGHT ME.
Oh shit I'm bad at titles, basically just wanted to share ~!
/u/matcha_madeinheaven
Created: Sat Oct 20 10:07:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pvbdb/oh_shit_im_bad_at_titles_basically_just_wanted_to/
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Sorry for the giant wall of text, I'll stick to posting memes and mostly shorter entries in the future, I just really wanted to share this!
I am a lurker on reddit, have been for a looong time - think years, but I didn't find this sub until a month ago. I never would post but throughout the years I would compulsively look at progress pics as a sometimes nightly ritual. Searching my height, seeing what I could actually achieve if I had more willpower, etc. and I'd actually do better for a little while.
Then with the family life and ease of eating what I made everyone else, and slowly increasing my portion size, and then snacking when the kids did because damn it sometimes I want some sliced cheese or peanut butter celery sticks too and that's kinda healthy, right? I would go back up and start restricting again or counting or whatever new thing I thought to try.
I recently had been doing OMAD with pretty good success and after an accidental/on purpose (more on that down below) fast I started reading up on fasting on their subreddit.
It was okay, but I still got that feeling like they didn't truly understand the crazy binge and restrict cycle I'd get stuck in. I didn't want to do keto which seems to be the most popular answer to what to do guys I binge and then someone linked to the proED subreddit!
And it clicked and it was a beautiful and reassuring moment. Yeah, sure, they had linked it sarcastically to basically name call and I guess feel better about themselves, but fuck that noise. You guys get it, unapologetically.
This is the first community I have something in common with that I feel is so understanding about how damn hard life combined with food can be for some of us. And you're nice about it!
Nobody else really seemed to get what it's like in my head sometimes and that made me feel crazy and dumb, but then I found this sub. (or rather I feel like some people do but they're in denial and or they just don't talk about it)
Also, the meme sub is hilarious, and contrary to popular belief finding this community actually made me feel like I could maybe get a little bit of a handle on some of this stuff if I wanted to. When I want to. And if I'm not ready and want to cycle and do whatever I can to get to my goal weight and then figure it out that's cool too. Anyway, thank you!
How I accidentally did a fast, aka poor decisions caught up with me:
So on the daily I feed my one year old and cook dinner for six people. For someone with food issues this can be a hard set up and for a while this is the method I would use to try and gain control: I would figure out what recipes I'd be making, try to plan out enough time to weigh each ingredient, enter info into MFP, cook, weigh out my serving size once that was calculated, etc. and yeah that works... But I feel like I'm also kinda right in thinking that is fucking annoying to do 24/7 and make sure I get dinner ready in time, plus the chaos of the kids/baby running around and hey why don't we throw in a little adhd brain for good measure. (also even when I was making the same meal I had to weigh everything and enter it AGAIN just in case some ingredients were off the next time I was making it, I felt like a liar that didn't really care about losing weight and was just guesstimating if I didn't even though it was probably fairly accurate, but you know how it goes)
When I finally burned out from that option (I'd cycle back to doing that every so often thought the years) I tried coming up with a new game plan. I would (weigh and) fix myself a salad before dinner and stash it in the fridge, making sure to fill up on lots of spinach and mixed greens and veggies, throw some protein in top and call it a day.
Rinse and repeat, I did that probably 6 out of 7 nights for months, and it was good! And healthy! And inspiring to the family that I was spending my OMAD eating so healthy and still leaving the occasional room in my budget for dessert!
But I'm not going to lie, I got tired of seeing all the yummy food I was making everyone else and serving it and literally feeding it to another person, waiting to have my salad afterward. So enter in (drum roll please)
FASTING!
The first one I did wasn't really intentional, but once I realized the clarity I could achieve and the deficit I could build up I was hooked.
It started out because I was grocery shopping late, had the cart full of groceries to get us through the next few days including dinner for that night, but I so so didn't feel like cooking and cleaning when I got home.
We had been to a family reunion over an hour a way, it was nearing 7pm and then as we passed the fried chicken (Publix, so not bad quality) I had an idea. I could just appeal to their hunger and convince them we should totally give me the night off. And eat a 12 pc. in the parking lot like hobos. And then sneak back in to wash up in the restroom.
I'd been doing so well eating the healthy salad for a while, losing the respectable 1-2lbs a week, and I actually hadn't eaten yet that day so I felt like I could responsibly log this extravagant meal (Ha!) Mentally I was totally feeling this random fried chicken urge. I even pre-logged the "amount I was going to eat" hahaha. I was feeling good about my decision guys.
We get into the parking lot, sit at the table outside, and go to town on some chicken. All of us, it was pretty cray cray. You'd think we never had fried chicken before, but I don't think any of us had really eaten much that day. It was great.
Until it wasn't. I totally blew past my alotted amount, chicken drumstick in mouth, thinking oh, I'll just adjust it in MFP, no biggie, you don't have anything else logged for today and you actually have been eating below your daily 1100 calories lately, you've got this girl!
You lost track of how many pieces you had? Well you can't pick through a box of bones trying to find "yours" like a weirdo! Haha, whatever, in fact you better have some more, you're still hungry and you've earned it. You don't really have to enter it. It's just protein if you take the skin off bro.
Oh shit, everyone else is full but there are some primo fried chicken skin pieces just laying there. You guys don't eat a lot of fried food ever, you're not really going to be in a position where you'll be able to eat those again for a long time. You totally should see how many you can speed eat before others notice and the disgust and oil in your stomach catch up with you. 😉 Ugh. How can it feel so right and so horribly, disgustingly wrong at the same time.
Anyway. I didn't want to purge even though that probably seems like the obvious answer to most of you. I've never been good at purging, I feel like I have some quick release into the intestines stomachs because every time I try I can get the first half up no problem and then it's just bile bile bile and it gets harder and harder to get that up and then I'm staring at the considerable amount I did get up and feeling like a failure for thinking I could get up all the senseless calories I consumed under the false impression that this time I'd be able to purge easily. (also my dad has an ed, b/p and I don't even know what else, and I've always felt weirdly like a failure that I couldn't do the same as well. But it is definitely not something we talk about, all that is a post for another day)
So now I'm in this disgusting food coma of shame and I don't feel like eating for the next week and I go to bed. I'm still feeling sick by the time I fix dinner the next night, I sip on some broth and call it a day.
And the next day it hits me, holy shit you just went over a day without food! Your mother in law was complaining about how hungry she was all day preparing for a colonoscopy while "fasting" and eating jello and drinking 7up all day and you, you just sipped some broth and didn't even have to think about food all day. What is this magic.
Better buckle up and see how long you can go, that's completely healthy with your relationship with food sure, you've got the broth, let's do this!
I'd been doing OMAD for a while and had built up some tolerance to not eating for most of the day, so with the broth on the first two days and then water afterward it wasn't too bad. I went five days. I lost ten pounds! I actually had a period around day four where I didn't care about food one way or the other, it was just neutral to me for the very first time in my life.
I know it was mostly water weight, and it was a half broth fast, but it felt so good to see the numbers go down so fast when you've been struggling your whole life to lose anything substantial. I even kept off five pounds after eating and binging the next week.
Since then I've moved to water fasts for two to three days at a time here and there, but I haven't exactly been able to recreate the magic and go as long on just water and electrolytes.
I know that fasting can make my binging worse at times, but I actually have been using the fasts to make up for them and to keep losing weight.
And I love not having to count and weigh stuff and remain at a weekly deficit! I still get that irrational anxiety at not knowing exactly how much I'm consuming while trying to lose weight, but I know if I only binge on healthy stuff and then eat the unhealthy stuff as sparingly as I can I will still see the downward trend.
TL;DR: I lurked reddit for years never posting, someone linked this sub sarcastically, stumbled in and felt like I finally found my people!
I just wanted to share since I finally found a space where I feel like I could actually do so. 💕👍
Is eating scraps from the trash considered an eating disorder?
/u/cheeseontheritz
Created: Sat Oct 20 10:03:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pva1a/is_eating_scraps_from_the_trash_considered_an/
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I feel uncomfortable admitting this even though I personally have no problem with it, but I have a sort of obsession with not letting good food go to waste. I don't know when this really started but whenever there is food about to be thrown out or has already been put in the trash, I instantly jump to it and try to get it (unless its food that doesn't fit my diet). I work for a catering company and they always throw out all the excess food, so I'm always in a mad-dash every shift to pack up all the food I can which I put in my freezer and eat sometime later. Whenever I'm at home and my family throws out food, I always stop them and put it away myself. Or if they throw away dinner before I get home from work, I'll go through the trash when I get back and pull whatever I can out. My family personally is pretty wasteful, so I don't mind this. But last night they threw away like 4 perfectly good chicken breasts and a whole bag of frozen french fries because they were "slightly dark." They were on top of the trash can and nothing was touching it so I took them out (one was half eaten) and mixed it with the dinner I was already making. Is this a problem? Am I being reasonable here? I get so stressed out over food going to waste that my family always makes snide comments about how I'm "the fridge police" and how I like to be the last person in line to make the final executive decision about throwing food out.
​
This of course makes me feel really embarrassed, but it brings me a lot of stress, especially when I know that the food isn't even bad just because it reached the best by date (not even expiration date). It just feels like a waste of money especially when I don't have much with my low-wage job. But even outside of my family, I get urges to look through trash cans at fairs and festivals for extra food. If I ate popcorn I would be going through the trash at movie theaters at every show. I manage to subdue these urges when I go out, but it brings me a lot of anxiety to see people throw away nearly-full pouches of french fries or chips when I'm festivals. Is it bad if I ever went through the trash for that?
​
Now I admit that I personally have bulimia/anorexia, so I binge on this food when I get it .... so in my case I know it's an eating disorder. But is this act in itself really that bad?
50 calorie wrap/sandwich fillings?
/u/vintagetimetable
Created: Sat Oct 20 09:51:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pv6q5/50_calorie_wrapsandwich_fillings/
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So, I usually have a 150 calorie limit on my lunch. I recently bought some flatout wraps for 100 cals each, so I have 50 cals left for the filling inside. I would love to hear your ideas! :)
​
BTW I don't care too much about protein in this filling, as I supplement that through other meals. Just flavor!
[Goal] Finally under 200!!
/u/AtypANA [5'9 | CW 205.0 | HW 220 | LW 120 | GQ 🏳️🌈]
Created: Sat Oct 20 09:47:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pv5m5/finally_under_200/
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I haven't stepped on the scale in the last week because I was scared of what I would see. I was so close to breaking 200 lbs and then ate "normally" because I spent the day with my family. I have been restricting since then and just stepped on and guess who weighs 197.2!!!
[Rant/Rave] Cross Country Competition [rant]
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|29yrs]
Created: Sat Oct 20 09:34:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pv21m/cross_country_competition_rant/
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It's been a long time since I was here, but my weight and body has been a daily nag for a while. I gained some weight. I had some baby binge days. But right now I don't think I'll eat for a week.
I'm at my nephew's cross country running competition and I have never seen so many lean people in my life. It's a huge competition with college and high school teams from -I don't know how many- states. Hundreds of cross country runners...
I don't think I can live with my body any more. So, I think I'm back.
[Rant/Rave] Shapewear 😂😂😂😂
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Sat Oct 20 09:19:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9puxvk/shapewear/
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A bit off topic but still hilarious. I tried on dresses yesterday so I brought the highest compression spanx I owned to make me smoother and have a smaller looking waist. When I went to leave, I tried to pull on jeans over the shapewear and they would not even button. So, spanx work by pushing all of the fat from your waist onto your hips. And apparently for me, it was so much that it made my loosest jeans to small 😂 (in retrospect that would be obvious but it caught me off guard at the time. Hope someone else can relate/laugh with me)
[Rant/Rave] Why do I compare myself to people then binge when that’s counter productive?! A night out gets uncomfortable.
/u/_liquiddiamonds_ [5'4" | CW: 228 | GW:110 | -62 | 27F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:57:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9purx2/why_do_i_compare_myself_to_people_then_binge_when/
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My parents, husband and I go to dinner at a fancy restaurant once a month so we can pay them rent on our townhouse and just overall have a good time. Usually it’s great and I look forward to it! My parents make fun of my spinach salad with no dressing sometimes, but it’s what I’m most comfortable eating and eventually they don’t care when their own food comes and the discussion topic changes.
Then this month, I had the night from hell. Our waiter is Clive (not real name). Clive is well mannered and provides excellent service through the night. Our parents go to the restaurant more often then us, so they know him pretty well. Dad immediately lights up, and tells him to show us “before” photos. What? Clive then proceeds to tell us he has lost 90lbs (in a few months- the same amount it took me to lose 60). His pictures were unrecognizable! He said he cycles all the time and that helped.
Honestly, good for him! But that built up my anxiety about dinner. I want to get my salad, but my brain tells me to binge. It was a Saturday anyway, so I might as well go home and drink while I’m at it!!
NO NO NO, I won’t do that. I start getting panicky while Clive is away getting our drinks. My parents ask what’s wrong and I stupidly said “I don’t know what to get...” (read: DO I BINGE OR FIGHT BECAUSE IM ANXIOUS FOR NO LOGICAL REASON)
My parents and to some extent husband say it’s one night a month... just get whatever you want and get back on track tomorrow!! Clive came back to take our order and my mind went into binge mode. SOUPS SALADS SHRIMP PASTA— I couldn’t stop eating that night. It was a pitiful pity party.
[To make matters worse, a guy I had a crush on all through middle school came in and sat at the table behind us. Because the tables are horizontal, he probably got a great lovely view of my disgusting profile— huge belly, triple chin, the works. I wanted to just crawl in a hole and die.]
I went home and drank. (Since then, I have temporarily given up alcohol). I don’t know why I was so upset, and why I binge when I’m sad. It sucked to hear about someone else’s more successful WL while I’m 12 minutes away from eating. He probably doesn’t binge and it makes me feel worse because I feel like my on/off switch has a mind of its own.
Why did I even compare myself?! Ugh. Treating it like that should’ve been MY 90lbs when he has clearly worked very hard... how selfish and pathetic.
[Rant/Rave] turned down fresh cookies !
/u/put_thelotion [179cm | CW: 80kg | GW: 55kg | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:55:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pur8h/turned_down_fresh_cookies/
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okay idk about y’all, but i love those pillsbury holiday cut n bake cookies with the designs, like ghosts n pumpkins n whatnot. i don’t really eat many of them bc calories but they’re so cute I love them
anyway last night while I was working, a guy brought me a plate of fresh cookies he had just baked and !! i managed to turn them down !! he stuck around for like an hour and a half to chat and would occasionally ask if I was sure I didn’t want one and !!! i still didn’t !!
im so proud of myself I needed to share in my triumph
[Rant/Rave] I binged so hard and I’m so ashamed
/u/LumosErin [5' 5.5" | 117.8 lbs | GW: 115 lbs | UGW: 110 lbs | 20F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:54:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9puqz5/i_binged_so_hard_and_im_so_ashamed/
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I hit my goal weight, even below! But last night I went too far and I just sabotaged myself.
I’m in an LDR and my bf is here in my college town for the weekend (eeee!). This boi is so lanky, he can eat the most unhealthy shit and not gain anything.
Last night we made beef stew and I had a bowl and a half. Okay not bad. Plus multiple drinks (vodka and juice) okay cringe, too much sugar but okay. Lots of popcorn; light but okay I made it on the stove so a bit oily. But then: cookies. I bought cookie dough before he came and I made us cookies. We had four each but as they were baking, I attacked the entire roll of dough. I couldn’t stop myself. I nearly threw up last night.
You guys I’m so ashamed. My birthday is next week so I knew it was going to be tough but I feel like I just destroyed everything. I’m thinking about not even eating today to just let my stomach settle down after everything I crammed in there. I haven’t even weighed myself today and I will later but I’m too nervous.
[Rant/Rave] I hate how long it takes to lose weight
/u/Izzy570 [25F | 5’4 | CW 110.8lb | BMI 18.8 | GW 88lb | LW 94lb | ]
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:47:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pup81/i_hate_how_long_it_takes_to_lose_weight/
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Trying to lose 10lb of failed recovery weight, taking forever. I’m so impatient but I just want to crawl out of my skin I’m so uncomfortable with my body right now.
I want to eat <1000 calories a day but I feel it would ruin my energy for gym unless there’s a way anyone who low restricts and manages to run/lift/anything without feeling horrific? Or do I just have to accept I’ll feel horrific lol.
I see these news articles all the time or even just on Instagram of people with ED’s who say they ate 300 cal a day and exercised for 4 hours every day. how??
[Rant/Rave] Almost had a heart attack
/u/runbaygirlrun
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:46:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9puou4/almost_had_a_heart_attack/
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This morning I put on my “loose” mom jeans and they felt tight. I internally started to freak out, because I have been exercising more this week so they should feel looser if anything.
But then I realized I had accidentally shrunk them in the dryer and everything seemed almost right in the world again. But I’m still not going to eat today.
[Rant/Rave] please stop talking to me about your eating habits
/u/madcapmango
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:43:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9puo49/please_stop_talking_to_me_about_your_eating_habits/
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my coworker is really friendly (almost excessively so), but she’s doing IF right now and i swear to god she brings it up every time she sees me. it feels like she’s trying to drop hints that i’m too fat or something, which is really something because i’ve lost at least 30 pounds since i started working with her. i remember there was a shift where she brought up fasting and all of my coworkers absolutely freaked out, which i thought was hilarious in a really awful way because i was two days into one at the time.
anyway, the other night i got stuck in a long conversation with her about it while she was having dinner and it was incredibly uncomfortable because she kept asking me questions about my own eating. it was so hard to try and portray myself as somebody with Somewhat Healthy Eating Habits who definitely hadn’t hardcore b/p’ed a mere four hours beforehand. or somebody who doesn’t fast out of pure self-loathing for days on end whenever his friends bring up anything about food or weight.
i don’t know how people can be so open and casual about food, i really don’t. i do OMAD most of the time, and i still can’t eat around other people without feeling panicky and ashamed, much less acknowledge the fact that i am eating. hell, simply BUYING food makes me feel disgusting. i don’t know whether that’s a result of my social anxiety or if my ED just fuels said social anxiety or what. it’s just a whole mess and the fact that food is so central to socializing consistently makes me feel sick.
My dad comments on food in a childish way
/u/TinyAcornBaby [5'4 | 148lbs | 25.4 | -11lbs | f]
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:22:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9puioi/my_dad_comments_on_food_in_a_childish_way/
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I feel like I should clarify that by childish I don't mean like passive aggressive or judgemental, but like the way an actual child of like 6 would talk about food.
I think food must take up a lot of his mind space because it's almost all he talks about. When he eats he ''plays up" for the audience by making "mmmm" noises or saying something like "ooh nummy scrummy pasta wasta! Heeheehee!" Like that's weird, right? Typing it out just made me realize how silly it sounds.
If he's not doing this while eating, he's talking about a time when he ate in much the same way. He's also finely tuned to what other people eat and always tries to comment. I have no idea why he does this but it feels awful to feel like your meals are being watched. It's almost like he's looking for a sign of weakness so he can do his food baby-talk at you.
He just did now, which is why I'm saltily posting. I've been in a binge phase for like 3 days now and it sucks. I've already eaten so much today, but most recently I had like half a box of little cakes. My dad noticed the plate with wrappers and went into a kind of mocking sing-song "looks like I'm not the only one eating! Someone's been having some cakey cakey cakeys! Cakey wakey!"
I just got up and left. It's such a trivial thing to be upset about, but it really gets to me. I have no idea why he uses this baby-talk. I feel so watched, like he's trying to catch out my eating or say that we're the same or something.
On the plus side, it really put me off having the rest of those cakes. 🙃
You've Gained Some Healthy Weight
/u/BadAsh3403 [5'4" | 106 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:22:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9puikk/youve_gained_some_healthy_weight/
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said my boyfriend this morning in bed and now I want to cry.
Woke up and bakes the fudgiest creamiest most chocolatey cookies (GF and VEGAN) don't let their outward appearance fool you! 41 cals each!
/u/lowfatavocado [5'7" | cw 115.5 | bmi 18.1 | gw 100 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 08:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pudfz/woke_up_and_bakes_the_fudgiest_creamiest_most/
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https://i.redd.it/ia2zwokbkct11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] God vegetables are amazing
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Sat Oct 20 07:59:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pucqk/god_vegetables_are_amazing/
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I gained a pound so I’m going to just eat fruit and veggies all day. I’ve realized how amazing it is. Why don’t I do this more often? I bought giant carrots and they’re only 30 calories and take forever to chew. I feel so satisfied! I’m going to do this instead of fasting because I always binge after fasting.
And y’all alfalfa sprouts are 8 calories for a CUP!
I threw out my back last night, all I want to do is pity binge
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Sat Oct 20 07:50:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9puafs/i_threw_out_my_back_last_night_all_i_want_to_do/
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To make matters worse, my terrible husband doesn't think to go get me extra strength pain reliever but he folks to ask me what foods I want from the gas station while he's there. Fml. I said no. So now I'm in pain, pissed cause I'm not able to make money, bored and want FOOD.
[Discussion] What body part do you obsess over?
/u/michellenemangepas
Created: Sat Oct 20 07:46:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pu9l2/what_body_part_do_you_obsess_over/
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I keep running my fingers over my ribs and putting my fingers around my wrists.
My ribs are just easier to see and feel now and I can't stop feeling them. Like, "hello there new friends."
My wrists feel smaller and almost delicate-looking with a little bone poking out. I just keep measuring them, and looking at them bare or in long-sleeved shirts. It makes me happy.
What about you? What do you messed up lovelies obsess over?
[Rant/Rave] I wish I could go back to being 'fat'
/u/SoylentGAhhItsPpl [🖤5'3" CW:106 BMI:18.7 UGW:99🖤]
Created: Sat Oct 20 07:42:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pu8ef/i_wish_i_could_go_back_to_being_fat/
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Okay this came out pretty dramatic, I apologise in advance for angst. But damn I'm feeling really sad. I just want to say that on the one hand I feel less alone here, but on the other it's heartbreaking knowing you guys go through this. I wouldn't wish this on my worse nemesis, and least of all you beautiful human beings :(
97lbs. I didn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. The scale was wrong, the scale's broken obviously. How could I weigh that when I look like *this*. The thing is I promised myself, no lower than 99. I somehow tricked myself into thinking that once I hit my GW, I'd start maintaining and I would be happy. I spent days dreaming of all the food I'd be able to eat.
I didn't eat for 45 hours, then had 1000cal before drinking. Because alcohol has lots of calories and it was that important to me that I budgeted for them. That was when my moment happened. My vision was spinning by 2 standards, by 5 (over two hours) I was just vomiting uncontrollably. I was supposed to be going out with friends and instead I was crying, curled up on a dirty shower floor.
In the shower, that was when I saw myself. I really, really saw myself guys. At 17.2 I'm not skeletal, but I didn't realise just how thin I was. It wasn't a good feeling. It was... Terrifying. The scariest part is knowing that I'm going to wake up tomorrow and the dysmorphia will be back.
All I can think is how I've got to have 1000cal and do 25 minutes of exercise. I feel like a hamster on a wheel, going around and around and around. The funniest part, is that I can't even begin to say how much I miss being fit and chubby. I miss not caring, I miss feeling good about myself. I wish I could go back.
I got an app that blocks Reddit and Instagram unless I'm at the gym
/u/MailingMaize [5'1 | CW: 111 | BMI 21.5 | GW: 95 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 07:34:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pu6g0/i_got_an_app_that_blocks_reddit_and_instagram/
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I'm on the elliptical typing this.
Have you ever seen old photos of yourself where you look absolutely terrible and way fatter but somehow also think you look smaller/better than you do now?
/u/bipolarspacecop [M/21]
Created: Sat Oct 20 07:19:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pu2ld/have_you_ever_seen_old_photos_of_yourself_where/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/EDmen/comments/9pu2bu/i_hit_peak_dysmorphia_today/
[Help] Help
/u/melonpls
Created: Sat Oct 20 07:08:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptzz7/help/
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Ok so , yesterday i had a wonderful binge day and i wanna know if fasting for 2 days ( or any number ) will compensate and undo the damage ?? Will i lose the weight i gained on the binge day and more ??
How to not be freezing??
/u/lilyisca [5’8” | CW 108 | SW 120 | GW ??]
Created: Sat Oct 20 06:52:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptw6k/how_to_not_be_freezing/
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Hey y’all
I was wondering how you deal with being cold all. the. damn. time.
It was 50 degrees F the other day, and I had to break out a thermal turtleneck under my wool sweater and wear a parka over everything; and I still felt cold. I just want to survive the winter 😞
I have a mental list of guys I want to fuck once I’m skinny enough
/u/LevyMevy
Created: Sat Oct 20 06:38:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptt77/i_have_a_mental_list_of_guys_i_want_to_fuck_once/
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The list is only at 2 right now, it’s pretty exclusive. One who rejected me, and another who I’ve had a crush on since we were kids. Damn I can’t wait to bring shame on my family name 😊
[Other] The high you get after purging and then lighting up a smoke
/u/Burlesqua [🌷 5'4'' | CW:108 | BMI:18 | 20/F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 06:29:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptr8w/the_high_you_get_after_purging_and_then_lighting/
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I’m ashamed to say it feels so good 😭❤️
[Sticky] 'Stupid Questions' Saturday! October 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 20 06:13:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptnuf/stupid_questions_saturday_october_20_2018/
---
This is the weekly 'Stupid Questions' Saturday thread for October 20, 2018.
Use this thread as an opportunity to ask any questions you might have that you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post.
Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**
*****
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Controversial opinion: black coffee is disgusting
/u/moon___night [🍑 moonnight]
Created: Sat Oct 20 06:10:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptn8q/controversial_opinion_black_coffee_is_disgusting/
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I genuinely can't stomach a cup of black coffee, it makes me nauseous. A generous helping of almond milk and sweetener and I might be able to get it down, but I don't see the point when I could get that caffeine from black tea or diet soda or anything else that doesn't make my whole face scrunch up in disgust
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 20, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 20 06:09:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptn05/daily_food_diary_october_20_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 20, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
I'M NEVER RECOVERING HEY I HATE MYSELF
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 119, -33 | 17.2 bmi | gw: 105 | 19f]
Created: Sat Oct 20 05:14:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ptbtc/im_never_recovering_hey_i_hate_myself/
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yesterday: "fuck, all my hair is falling out. my boyfriend is giving me the strength i need to do this i need to stop this i can't do this anymore i'm dizzy all the time and i plateaued anyway i will start eating and and nothing can stop me"
today: "oh well i'll just get supplements and look at my macros and if my hair keeps falling out fuck hair, i'm a fat fucking disgusting whale."
it hurts because i actually had a little moment of light yesterday, you know, looking in the mirror and actually accepting my body. my body dysmorphia didn't feel as bad as usual.. oh well, it is again now. i keep looking at this and not seeing me. https://imgur.com/mp0gOAN
i'm not strong enough yet.
I feel like I will never look like thispogirls because Im short
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 99 | GW: 88]
Created: Sat Oct 20 04:41:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pt58t/i_feel_like_i_will_never_look_like_thispogirls/
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I hate being 160 cm. My legs look so short and I hate it.Clothes don't fit properly. Im constantly comparing myself with other girls.
Thats why it is so important to me to see short celebrities and normal looking good
Short people out there: do you hate it? Do you love it? How did you learn to love your petitness?
welcome relapse
/u/nonotfinished
Created: Sat Oct 20 04:37:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pt4hx/welcome_relapse/
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I've had something between bulimia & ednos on and off since i was 17 and in the last few years gained a lot of weight due to sexual assault & depression even though i was already always heavy. I'm tall, fairy muscular and have an hourglass figure so i don't carry it so badly even though i'm definitely fat, i avoided weighing myself because i know it's a trigger for me & things got out of control. In the past few months i've had my mother(who told me i was going on a diet when i was an average 6 year old) telling me it was a good thing my partner was going overseas for a while as i gained weight since we started dating, a housemate apparently making horrible comments about my weight, another housemate made a post i know she didn't think i'd see about the first situation calling me fat, then i was talking to my partner about that because i was upset about it and he was trying to console me by saying "so she called a fat person fat". I don't doubt his attraction to me, but all these people close to me pointing out how fat i am has made me relapse for the last few weeks.
I've been eating normally & very veg heavy meals but purging everything i eat after midday and exercising, I'm definitely losing weight because even pants that gave me muffin top last week are perfectly fitting now & I've gone down a full pant size in a few weeks, but i weight myself for the first time in years (huge trigger) and i'm 10kg higher than i've even weighed myself at. I just feel disgusting and like i'll never be good enough for anyone, i only get praise when i'm purging everything i eat, i dyed my hair a month ago and the last week everyone has been complimenting me on it but i know it's just because i look less like a blimp
If your flair tells me that we're the same height, I've definitely stalked your comment history trying to find a picture of your body so I can compare myself
/u/LevyMevy
Created: Sat Oct 20 04:24:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pt1zo/if_your_flair_tells_me_that_were_the_same_height/
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New medication has triggered a relapse
/u/VonAschenbach
Created: Sat Oct 20 04:17:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pt0vv/new_medication_has_triggered_a_relapse/
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Hi all. I’m 25f and I’ve been largely weight restored for the past 3 years, barring a short period of extreme weight-loss following surgery 2 years ago.
I was formerly diagnosed EDNOS when I was 19, but I haven’t binged or purged at all since. I struggle with major depression and anxiety and I’ve recently been put on Pristiq 50mg (a SNRI). Since starting this medication I’ve totally lost my appetite and interest in food, and I’ve had a huge resurgence in ED behaviors. My life is currently in quite an unstable state, so it’s not altogether surprising, but still. Quite the opposite of what I was expecting with meds!
I’m currently hovering at 5’6.5 and 114, down from 120. The weight loss started gradually, but now I’m completely out of reasons to eat and I just want to keep going down the rabbit hole. I told my psych about the appetite loss, but not about the change in mental state. I’m fairly certain this is a relapse and I really don’t want to be this way, but I also can’t bear my body right now.
I just need some support from people who understand, because I haven’t got anyone else in my life who I can talk about this with. I feel like a bit of an old lady to be on an ED sub 😂, but this feels like a supportive environment, and I hope I can be a part of it.
[Rant/Rave] Oh boy
/u/7st1lb
Created: Sat Oct 20 04:13:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pt02c/oh_boy/
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I’d wish my first post to be a bit more glorious but here we go.... I just got a message from a flat-mate that the heating is broken in our apartment. Up til here no biggie, I’ve been staying at my SOs for the past week anyways... Then I remember the HEATING INSTALLATION is in MY ROOM and I forgot to throw out the PUKE BAG from last weekends b/p party ☠️
[Rant/Rave] Holy shit guys
/u/throwawayaccunt6969
Created: Sat Oct 20 03:56:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pswm2/holy_shit_guys/
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So I moved to the Netherlands recently and it's been so fucking stressful. Moving in general is really hard and having to adapt to reading calories here and trying to not eat all of the delicious cheap food around me constantly has been a nightmare. I finally got a gym membership and i went for the first time today and it felt great. I was terrified of weighing myself because it's been at least a month since I've had access to a scale. I was prepared for the worst but the scale read freaking 98 pounds. Ive never hit double digits before!! The last time I weighed myself I was at 105. I guess I didn't realize how little I've been actually eating or maybe the scale at my last gym wasn't accurate. Or maybe this one isn't accurate (pls god no) anyway wow I am in a good mood. How is everyones weekend going?
[Discussion] anyone else been good all week then binged yesterday?
/u/ThrowawayTAIU
Created: Sat Oct 20 02:49:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pskxa/anyone_else_been_good_all_week_then_binged/
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I always binge on Fridays and then I have to fast the entire weekend to make up for it and I hate my life
[Intro] Realisation that there’s probably more to my eating habits...
/u/absolutecretin
Created: Sat Oct 20 02:46:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pskda/realisation_that_theres_probably_more_to_my/
---
Hi. I’ve lurked for quite a while now, but honestly starting to think that the way I’ve been managing my eating and weight in the last few years has not been the healthiest...
About 6 years ago I had a healthy BMI and stood at 5”4’ with maybe 138 lbs.
I was CONVINCED I was fat. I always felt like the larger friend, when looking back at photos I really wasn’t.
I started dating a guy who would always compliment my face and never my body and it made internalize it’s because I was fat and would never be 100% attractive to him.
I managed to lose a further 10 lbs by hardly eating and not even working out. I felt good.
But that same boyfriend would wanna order pizza and burgers ALL THE TIME and would cuss me out as being boring if I didn’t join in.
I was trapped between needing to be skinny for him and not wanting to be boring.
Obviously we broke up. But by that point my view on food was jacked and I got stuck in the cycle of binging and restricting (though more binges than restricting).
Honestly it was only until I started scrutinizing my body in this way that my weight WENT UP. Next thing you know it’s 3 years later and I’m 215 lbs.
I’m now dating another guy who ALSO likes to order in all the time, and although he doesn’t pressure me to diet or eat junk, I now find I have no self control when he orders fast food.
That said the last week or so I’ve taken control. Said no to that slice of pizza, and stuck with low calorie soups and I’m down to 203 lbs already.
I just wanna be back down to 138.
Sorry for the long rant. No one will understand this and I’ve just grown so tired of this cycle.
[Other] My cat is using my saddle bag as a pillow
/u/catamongthecrows [5'3" | CW:128.4 | GW:105 | BMI:23.37 | 27F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 02:36:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9psii1/my_cat_is_using_my_saddle_bag_as_a_pillow/
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My overflowing thigh fat is simultaneously the cause of pure joy and comfort and absolute disgust. I feel bad for wanting to take that away from him, but a cat's entire head resting on flattened leg meat really accentuates it lol gotta go...
[Help] What are your safe vegan foods?
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Sat Oct 20 02:13:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pseh0/what_are_your_safe_vegan_foods/
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I need help compiling a grocery list of low calorie vegan (and preferably gluten free) foods. So far, all I have is almond milk, miso soup and blueberries. What are yours?
[Other] The other day I said we don't need an r/EDisjerky because r/1200isjerky is good enough. But I have a better one...
/u/dortuh [5'8" | 118lb | BMI 17.9 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 01:43:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ps91x/the_other_day_i_said_we_dont_need_an_redisjerky/
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r/Frugal_Jerk is funny as hell and almost any of the posts look like joking about having an ED. I love wasting some time in there.
I just found out my food scale is inaccurate hahaha kill me
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Sat Oct 20 01:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ps6ye/i_just_found_out_my_food_scale_is_inaccurate/
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Ok so my mom is a professional chef, and I tried out her fancy food scales, but they all seemed out of battery, so I went ahead and bought a cheap one for myself about a month or 2 ago.
Turns out she restocked on batteries recently, and fixed one of her food scales. So I toyed around with hers and mine and oh my fuckING GOD MY SCALE HAS BEEN HORRIBLY INACCURATE THIS WHOLE TIME. I must have consumed like, hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of extra cals this whole time because of it. I also found out that it also like, massively depends on exactly WHERE you place your food on the scale. Whereas with my mom's, the weight was consistent no matter where I placed my items.
Welp, that's 10 dollars down the drain.
For all those wondering which scale it is, it's this one. [https://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/starfrit-ultra-slim-scale/6000187663582](https://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/starfrit-ultra-slim-scale/6000187663582)
​
fmllll. It is pretty lightweight tho so I might use it on the go in case I ever need to, for whatever reason.
Stopped myself mid-binge last night!
/u/brbaaaa
Created: Sat Oct 20 01:06:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ps22r/stopped_myself_midbinge_last_night/
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OK to be honest it was more like a mid-final stage. I had around three "fuck it"s in between all the "you're gonna regret" "just go to bed" and then finally, I poured this nasty ass berry-flavored vodka all over my food (which I felt horribly guilty about because I was wasting all those food but I was so desperate) and I didn't purge and I just went to bed. Even though I stopped myself, I think any normal person would consider what I had eaten last night a binge. But to me, it was smaller than my usual binges. Nothing compared to them. And more importantly, I was able to stop myself. I'm proud. If I did it yesterday, I can do it today too. And if you're suffering from binge eating, I want you to know that so can you.
Also I'm less bloated today (not just face, but my entire body like thighs and arms) than I would have been if I had binged and purged.
Y’all I’m so sad
/u/enrichbitch [69" | DGAF | Recovering...? | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 00:39:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9prwwi/yall_im_so_sad/
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I finally figured out what my biggest binge trigger is. It’s my fiancé.
Or maybe everything’s fine and my stupid brain is just trying to sabotage me out of potential happiness...?
What the *fuck*
[Help] I'm the biggest disappointment
/u/pinkribbon007
Created: Sat Oct 20 00:23:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9prtp4/im_the_biggest_disappointment/
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Okay so my whole ED has usually just been restricting heavily and over exercising but these past few weeks involved multiple birthdays so I've eaten like shit basically and I've definitely gained. I feel so bad and disgusted with myself that I purged for the first time today. I'm not a good puffer, it's a whole ordeal for me - ugly tears, snot everywhere, loud awful heaves, the whole shebang. During it I felt awful and gross but afterwards I honestly felt so much relief that all of those calories were out of me. I was underweight before but I'm definitely sitting at least above 19 now which makes me so fucking mad because all my hard work has gone down the drain. I would really appreciate any words of encouragement to help me stay on track and not binge. Please guys I hate feeling so shit about myself
[Rant/Rave] Triggered by a celebrity’s weight
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 20 00:13:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9prrun/triggered_by_a_celebritys_weight/
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K-pop idol Hyuna posted a photo of her weight from a scale and it was 95lbs/43.1kg. She’s 3 inches shorter than me so idk why this triggered me so much. Like I always knew she was very thin was I had no idea she was THAT thin. I feel so stupid but after seeing it I hate myself 10x more and just feel like crying. All I can think about is small and thin she must be in real life and how fat and big I must look in comparison.
[Tip] Tips for Ana?
/u/Lillysland
Created: Sat Oct 20 00:12:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9prrms/tips_for_ana/
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I have bullimia. God I just hate binging and purging. I just hate it so much. I would rather just not eat than to binge then purge. I tried not eating before but I always end up eating :/. Does anyone have any tips on how to get started for ana? I really want to save my teeth and I hate the burning feeling in my throat after I binge. Please help :)
hyuna (kpop celeb) just posted this on her IG. she’s 5’4 1/2 🙃🙃🙃🙃
/u/abiroo
Created: Fri Oct 19 22:53:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9prbd5/hyuna_kpop_celeb_just_posted_this_on_her_ig_shes/
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https://i.redd.it/jqsyisxju9t11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] Fun game: did I skip my period this month because I’m pregnant or restricting??
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Fri Oct 19 22:48:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pra7j/fun_game_did_i_skip_my_period_this_month_because/
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Always a fun game to play...
[Rant/Rave] What's the point in eating???
/u/ameliasophia [5'3 | 97.2 | 17.2 | F | ]
Created: Fri Oct 19 22:44:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pr9iz/whats_the_point_in_eating/
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Haven't eaten in ate days. I'm so fucking hungry.
​
But I know if I eat something it won't even fill me up a little bit. It'll just make me feel even hungrier. So what's even the point in eating?
[Discussion] Are we all caffeine addicts? Is this a typical ED thing?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Fri Oct 19 22:27:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pr5v0/are_we_all_caffeine_addicts_is_this_a_typical_ed/
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I’ve just recently realized that a lot of us talk about diet sodas and energy drinks and coffee
I’m a huge caffeine addict and feel less alone when you guys talk about this hahah
The anxiety is creeping in
/u/USSNerdinator [5'1" | 195lbs | 37 | 45lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 21:59:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqzr2/the_anxiety_is_creeping_in/
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I was doing so good being "normal" and ignoring ED brain while my wedding was going on but now I'm starting to panic. The in-laws bought me tons of sweets and legit have been eating sweets every day and encouraging me to eat them too. I've never seen people eat that much sugar on a regular basis. Legitimately they've had cakes, candy, etc. every day they've been there. Sometimes more than once in a day! And FIL already has diabetes which is just like do you realize how terrible this is for your body?? Usually I don't eat sweets all the time anyway to avoid overindulging or binging. I'm terrified I've gained a bunch of weight in the week that they've been here. I decided to make bread for tomorrow too because we got a bread machine as a gift. Sigh. I feel so disgusted with myself and I'm terrified to step on the scale.. Please tell me I haven't completely fucked everything up... I don't want to be a landwhale. :(
[Other] dae have different types of binges?
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Fri Oct 19 21:48:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqxar/dae_have_different_types_of_binges/
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i have two types of binges: the kind where im super hungry and just don’t stop eating, and the kind where im so emotionally overwhelmed that i deal with it by eating.
Scale has been broken
/u/curlymoose
Created: Fri Oct 19 21:19:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqqw7/scale_has_been_broken/
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I thought I had been making a lot of progress this week. I was excited. Then my husband hopped on the scale and said “there’s no way I’ve lost that much! This thing is broken” and sure enough, the scale is dying and giving super inaccurate readings
Replaced the batteries and that somehow made it more inaccurate? I’m guessing that the pressure sensors underneath are stuck.
Went out and bought a new one that is accurate.
Now I feel like 💩
[Rant/Rave] I was today years old when i found out
/u/eighttorches [5'2 | 15 from goal | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 21:09:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqohq/i_was_today_years_old_when_i_found_out/
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My boyfriend thinks thunder thighs is a compliment 🙂 i love him to death but damn that hurts like a motherfucker
exhausted and depressed by first (and hopefully last) use of lax
/u/RosenWeiss9 [5'3.5 | CW 110 | GW 104 | LW 107 | F26]
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:59:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqm5x/exhausted_and_depressed_by_first_and_hopefully/
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just could use a little support right now. fell off the wagon the past 3 days and binged at least 2 of them. i felt horrible, sick, bloated. took lax today because i didn't have normal bm and was sick all day, my stomach has been hurting for hours. yeah i got cleared out but it wasn't worth it, i feel terrible, like death. when does it end
[Help] My neck looks weird...almost like I have an adam’s apple.
/u/snerckdrawer
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:49:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqjrh/my_neck_looks_weirdalmost_like_i_have_an_adams/
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Anyone else? Why?
PS cis lady, never had (saw) this before. New LW I’m guessing. It’s not in the thyroid spot. I enjoy some neck definition but this looks weird.
PPS I’m also high 💁♀️
Restriction and CrossFit
/u/Dolfie2010
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:40:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqhuh/restriction_and_crossfit/
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My husband joined me in a CrossFit gym because he thinks it’ll help my self image and stop my binging (I was anorexic for the first three years of ED and have since spent 12 years as a chubby yoyo-ing bulimic)
The girls I see at the box and online look horrible to me. I hate hate hate that muscly physique and big thighs. He says it’s lean. Not bulky. I disagree. I think it’s horrible and I’m petrified that I’ll end up like them because I’m naturally an athletic shape with a short torso and wide waist.
Anyhow. Out of fear I’ve managed a whole two weeks without a binge and have been restricting to 800-900cals a day. Workouts have been pretty okay too. The coach lets me use the 25lb bar with 5lb plates and doesn’t push me to do heavier.
Anyone have experience with CrossFit?
Will restricting while crossfitting get weight off without turning me into a hulk?
All I want in life is to have ribs when I stretch and toothpick legs with thighs almost as thin as my calves *cries*
[Help] I can’t get bronkaid anymore because I have to have a prescription.... fml. How else am supposed to get ephedrine?
/u/Just-Another-Mom [5'8" | 142 | 21.5 | 43lbs | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:35:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqgly/i_cant_get_bronkaid_anymore_because_i_have_to/
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Any ideas? I’m lost...
[Discussion] I'm Not a Vampire is such an ed song?
/u/feellikegucci
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:29:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqf39/im_not_a_vampire_is_such_an_ed_song/
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Idk maybe I'm reaching, I know the song is really about being a drug addict, but lmao I relate so much to it
" My hands are always shaking, body's always aching and the dark is when I feed"
' My head is always spinning from this dizzy, blurry vision and my stomach has had enough"
" I feel like a lady that is pregnant with a baby cause I'm always throwing up"
"I'm insane, well, I can feel it in my bones, coursing through my veins. When did I become so cold? For goodness sake, where is my self control?"
Honestly if that ain't me in a fasting/compulsive purging high
[Rant/Rave] brooooo I feel like I’m on CRACK
/u/landfill7707 [5'3| 101 | 17.9| 19F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:20:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqcrx/brooooo_i_feel_like_im_on_crack/
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IM BUZZING WITH THE LIFE OF A MILLION BEES I just chugged a 5 hr energy after taking my EC stack if I die of a stroke please know that I went out happy I LOVE YOU ALL HAVE A LOVELY DAY MY LOVES
[Rant/Rave] eating trash in the morning n then getting mad at mom for giving me food (that I could have just said no to probably)
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F20|5'6.5"|175 to 140 | GW 125]
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:09:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pqab4/eating_trash_in_the_morning_n_then_getting_mad_at/
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ok this morning i bought a bagel n cream cheese and the whole affair felt like my body was on autopilot and yelling at myself the whole time. and to be fair it was a good bagel n probably got me through my workout. but anyway i got home n my mom still had stuff for nachos but I just wanted to have like flax milk n protein powder and maybe just the turkey to make her feel ok (for postworkout proteinn) but while I was making my shake n turn around n she's started putting out chips for me so I had those too -_- (mine v hers btw lol pre-salsa http://imgur.com/a/j47tJlc) and honestly my calorie count was still ok but then later in the day i go to get water n she's making a really good smelling curry n so I try a tiny piece and it's all good like i didn't even log it but then she's like "let me give you a leg too" aaAAA anyway that specificity put me to the 200 over what I wanted my deficit to be today n im so annoyed but also guess what would have saved me more than 200? not eating that Fuckin Bagel.
yesterday I had the last of her shwarma n a spinach pie and got mad about that but I could have saved the cals by getting black coffee instead of a sugary latte at lunch!
I'm not sayin anything to her because obviously 1) I'm even with all this im ~1200 both days 2) i have to stop eating at school omfg. but I'm better at control later in the day and she cuts into that or at least makes it harder so it's grating
i love her her food is so good T_T
anyway she's sitting next to me eating rice cakes like "these are so filling" oh ok >:I
This sums up my diet (note monster with a straw bc I’m a classy bitch)
/u/psychedelicpeach [5'5.5'' | 23.5 | CW:144 | GW:125]
Created: Fri Oct 19 20:03:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pq8pm/this_sums_up_my_diet_note_monster_with_a_straw_bc/
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https://i.redd.it/eh2kmv6409t11.jpg
I'm suffering (long post)
/u/addingtozer0
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:57:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pq75e/im_suffering_long_post/
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TRIGGER WARNING: I talk about specific calorie counts and other potentially triggering things (b/p, restricting, suicidal thoughts, specific weights) so if that triggers you, please leave now. Please recover. Don't do this to yourself.
​
I've never gotten a formal diagnosis (because i'm terrified of telling anyone about my eating habits because I know they aren't good), but I'm almost certain I have a form of EDNOS. I constantly alternate between periods of severe restricting (around 300 cal a day) and periods of extreme binging (usually between 2000-3000 cal in a very short period of time, sometimes upwards of 4,000) and it's ruining my life.
I started the ABC diet late September and stuck to it pretty strictly for the first two and a half weeks. I'm not going to lie. I know it's sick and twisted and terrible, but that feeling of restricting felt fantastic to me. Staying under 500 calories a day felt like a fucking triumph. I never weighed myself though. Not once. I was terrified that the scale wouldn't be as low as I wanted. I could tell I was starting to lose weight but I could never bring myself to look at the bathroom scale. But recently, I've been horrifically depressed and constantly anxious and whenever that happens, I start compulsively eating. It's a maladaptive coping mechanism I've had since I was a kid. It's my only comfort and my worst enemy.
In the last week, I haven't eaten under 2,000 calories every. Single. Day. Haven't been under 3,000 in four consecutive days.
Usually I purge with laxatives, sometimes I purge by vomiting if I can get away with it (I live with family and they are already very suspicious and overbearing about my eating habits; "you don't eat enough", "you're probably anorexic", "just stop binging!", "have some self-control!", "that's not healthy"), but I know it doesn't work and I've gained everything back that I lost in the first two weeks in less than one. I feel disgusting. I am ridden with shame and guilt and disgust and self-loathing. I hate how I feel when and after I binge. No control. It's almost like I blackout when I binge: I usually don't even realize I'm binging in the moment and it isn't until I come to later that I recognize what I've done. I usually won't even remember everything that I ate. I'll eat to the point that I'm physically sick, that I feel like my stomach will rip open, that I'll choke on my own stomach. It's awful.
I don't want to binge and I don't know how to stop. And if I'm really honest, I **don't want to recover from restricting**. I want to stay under 500 a day. I don't know how to break this cycle or to keep it from happening, but I feel miserable. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried weening myself down (1000 cal one day and decrease a bit everyday until I've gotten myself down to 300 a day), I've even picked up smoking to suppress appetite which is probably the worst part since I think it's disgusting and I have to hide it from my family which makes me feel even more shameful and gross. None of it seems to work. I keep binging. All I want is to be in control again. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm even posting this. Maybe I'm just venting. But I need help and I don't have anywhere else I can go right now. I've never told anyone about this and it's destroying me keeping it all bottled up. Part of me feels like that might be part of the reason why I'm binging: to comfort me in the fact that I feel so alone. I can't be sure.
It also really sucks living with family and having almost no control of over what food is brought into the house. I've told my mom time and again, "please don't buy trigger foods, or at the very least, keep them away from me", but she doesn't care. She tells me to just have some self-control. It digs at me because I can *have* self-control. I can restrict like nobody's business, *unless* I am exposed to my binge-trigger foods. And even when I just want to eat normally, not even restricting, I can't because *all we have* is trigger foods and eating anything at all becomes a binge. She threw out all the alcohol because our housemate is an alcoholic, but she refuses to work with me when I'm trying to curb my binging. She tells me to put some effort into stopping the binges but its so hard when I am surrounded by nothing but trigger foods. I usually try to just buy my own safe foods and only eat those, but when I barely have enough money to make my car payments, let alone to buy my own food, I don't have a lot of choice in the matter.
I feel like everything related to food is out of my control. *My whole life* is out of my control. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm starting to get to the point where i think, "fuck it. Just end it. you're miserable if you eat, you feel inadequate even when you don't, you'll never escape this. You'll always be ugly and gross and unloveable so just end it." Usually I write to cope. I write a lot of poetry about it, I have a hidden private Tumblr documenting *everything,* from food logs to thinspo to diary entries.
I just hate myself and my body and I don't care if I die in the process but I just want to be in control and lose the damn weight. I would give anything to be back at my lowest weight. At my most intense restricting, I was 115. I don't even know what I weigh now. I was 140 when I started ABC. I think I got as low as 130. I can't bring myself to see how much I weigh now. I can't do it, I just can't. I would honestly give just about anything to be where I was when I was most sick. But I'm afraid it's worthless. I'll never be good enough. I'll never be happy. I'll never be thin enough or light enough or pretty enough. I'm worthless. I just don't know what to do anymore. I really just want this all to stop. I want this disorder to either go away, or have the decency to actually make me skinny and miserable instead of just miserable.
​
[Rant/Rave] Waitress’s comments
/u/17iveyal
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:50:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pq5j2/waitresss_comments/
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OKAY BUCKLE UP BC IM ABOUT TO GO OFF! So my dad is in town this weekend and offered to take me out to dinner whenever i wanted. I literally have one safe food when it comes to eating out and it’s a Pho place downtown. I ate an apple this morning and then saved all my calories for the day for that sweet, delicious, pho goodness. I finished the entire bowl. Yep. the entire thing AND I wasn’t even feeling about about it. It made me warm and full and it’s not even a high calorie pho because it’s vegan. Then... the waitress comes over and looks at me and says: “Wow you finished ALL of that?” !!!!!! oh i’m sorry i am a pig, i forgot. I know she didn’t mean anything mean about it but it really got under my skin. Why can people just not comment about the amount of food someone else eats whether it be a small or large portion. I was actually enjoying myself and now it’s all i can think about. ugh. Sorry for the long rant just needed to talk and i know my fam here would understand.
How the FUCK did I get fat in two days of average eating??
/u/JayLenoBlows [trans girl | 6’ | GW120 | flabby skeleton]
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:45:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pq4g9/how_the_fuck_did_i_get_fat_in_two_days_of_average/
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I only had around 1700 cals both of these days and I swear to god I got fat, dysmorphia is fucking bullshit. I hate my body and I hate myself. At least I’m back on track today.
fucking hell, why??
/u/glossipgirl [5"2 | 106.7 | 20.2 | -7.7 | 15F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:34:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pq1o3/fucking_hell_why/
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my parents are realllly makin me eat kfc for lunch and peking duck for dinner????
i'm gonna be like 2000cal over maintenance i'm not even joking
and to think i was really gonna consider eating normally!
[Help] HELP nosebleed during/after purging!?!?
/u/Hollyfoot [5’9” | 95lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:32:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pq121/help_nosebleed_duringafter_purging/
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NEVER have I ever had a nosebleed in the middle of purging and it just happened. It wasn’t heavy or dripping and it seems to have stopped after a couple minutes. I didn’t see any blood in the toilet.
Please tell me I didn’t just pop my brain or something. Tell me this has happened to someone else. Tell me I’m not dying lol.
#casuallyfreakingout
Do side bends even do anything?
/u/Nobodycares221988
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:20:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppy9g/do_side_bends_even_do_anything/
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I probably do hours of side bends. I can't watch TV without doing them. But I wonder if they even do anything. I don't feel a difference but it has to be better than nothing? Your thoughts?
Backsliding
/u/peanut_nibbles
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:16:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppx5o/backsliding/
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I've lurked on these ed and food related subreddits for a year or so now and I have finally actually made an account.
I have always used my eating disorder as an unhealthy coping mechanism for anxiety. I started a new course this week and I am now constantly on edge and on the verge of tears again yet I can't cry so I keep having tearless, shaky and breathless meltdowns that don't provide much release and so I feel like I'm just waiting for that massive explosion of emotion.
Whenever I start something new my anxiety skyrockets and since I have always coped with the anxiety through my eating disorder I am having a really hard time sticking to recovery. The anticipation of the course starting brought my food scale back out and so I'm counting calories, I'm weighing myself and I've been unintentionally cutting my calories down and the laxatives came back out and now I feel like it's only a matter of time before the vomiting and the binging starts again.
I fought against the behaviours the first few days but now I feel like I am just giving in to them. I am so scared I am going to relapse and now I feel really guilty because I'm not even trying to fight against the disorder and I'm not sure if I even want to now. Seeing my weight drop this past week or so makes me want to keep restricting and cutting calories to keep the number dropping I get such a thrill from seeing the number going down.
I have been doing so well in recovery and I have all the support I need and I really wanted recovery but now i'm not sure if I do want it. I know I still want to want recovery but I feel like I'm backsliding and it's making me sad.
Do any of you have any advice on how to stop a relapse in its tracks? or any motivations as to why recovery is worth it?
[Help] How may calories does this have?
/u/LynCross
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:14:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppwls/how_may_calories_does_this_have/
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https://i.redd.it/ajqnv0s8r8t11.jpg
How I see myself on my period.
/u/melpowe
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:12:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppwau/how_i_see_myself_on_my_period/
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https://i.redd.it/3dpwofm4r8t11.jpg
Never ending cycle
/u/emolium
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:09:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppvf1/never_ending_cycle/
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DAE feel like it’s a never ending cycle with their ED? For a couple months I’m restricting and purging everything, then next thing I know I’m binging everything in sight and I gain it all back. I lose and regain the same 15 pounds over and over again. I’m so disgusted with myself.🙂🙂🙂
[Rant/Rave] Broke my fast early and feel like shit
/u/mmblarg
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:08:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppv1j/broke_my_fast_early_and_feel_like_shit/
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Broke my 7 day fast at the end of day 6. But because I wasn’t planning to break early, I didn’t have my planned foods yet and instead ate a not-so-nutritious split pea soup rather than my avocado toast with an egg...
Now I’m sitting here with my unrelenting acid stomach and killer headache that made me break and just want to cry and sleep and cry in my sleep... terrible end to a terrible first time 7 day fast
[Help] Constipated :-(
/u/hunnyangel
Created: Fri Oct 19 19:04:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppuaa/constipated/
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My new meds are making me majorly constipated :-( I haven’t had a satisfying poop in days now and I really don’t want to take lax bc I don’t want to get in the habit of using them.
Any ideas on what I can do to get things moving?
I don’t know if anyone relates to me with this if you do I’m so sorry.
/u/melpowe
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:56:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pps9w/i_dont_know_if_anyone_relates_to_me_with_this_if/
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My parents found out I was cutting about a month ago and to make my ma feel better I threw all my razors (broken blades, glass, needles etc.) I use to cut with. And since then I have missed it so much. I can’t stop thinking about how it feels. I hate myself so much that it feels better to cut and harm myself then to even look in the mirror. I just don’t want to be alive anymore but I know I could never do that to my ma. I just want to be happy I just don’t want to miss the thing that makes me uglier than eating.
I have been eating so much lately it’s like a mini binge
/u/melpowe
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:56:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pps8e/i_have_been_eating_so_much_lately_its_like_a_mini/
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So lately I have been eating like 1,300- 1,500 calories and I feel absolutely disgusting it’s horrible. I normally eat 700 calories and that’s like perfect because I’m normally not that hungry but I’m on my period and it’s the worst. I literally have gained weight and I literally want to fucking die. I feel so disgusting and fat. Ugh.
Heads up for anyone who has ordered from them.
/u/huppelcutje
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:44:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppozv/heads_up_for_anyone_who_has_ordered_from_them/
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https://i.redd.it/q84jr95667t11.png
Omg I got accepted back to uni
/u/Bookeisha [182 cm | 57.3 kg | BMI 17.3 | M ]
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:38:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppnjm/omg_i_got_accepted_back_to_uni/
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I was kicked out of uni 10 days ago (see my previous post) but thanks to my mom who didn't give up and basically fought for me, they accepted me back. Bless her heart!!
Y'all, this year is my final year with less than 50 credits to graduate in an engineering field 😭 I won't and don't want to let my mental health ruin this for me
My BMI is 20.8 but my face is still chubby. Will I have any semblance of bone structure at a BMI of 16.9??
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:30:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pplh2/my_bmi_is_208_but_my_face_is_still_chubby_will_i/
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I mean, obviously nobody here will be able to tell me definitively, but for those of you who have started at a similar BMI and gone down a few points, did your face look much different??
I just want the tiniest bit of structure to my face damn it 😭
"Let's get lunch tomorrow!" Ugh can we not though?!
/u/vatrume
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:26:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppkd1/lets_get_lunch_tomorrow_ugh_can_we_not_though/
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I've been eating too much this week and really wanted to get back on my fast all day + tiny dinner diet and this mofo who I haven't seen in ages just *has* to be in town this weekend. Full day fast Sunday and Monday it is. 😠
[Help] Restricted back to my LW but look flabbier and more bloated ...
/u/edthrowaway12121
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:16:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pphyd/restricted_back_to_my_lw_but_look_flabbier_and/
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Anyone go through this? I binged a LOT throughout the past month and gained really not too much. About 2 actual pounds but up to 7-10 lbs water weight. I just reached back to my original low weight, and oh my gosh.
Looked in the mirror, totally bloated. Little muffin top coming over the same underwear that I looked freaking chiseled in before. But .. I’m the same weight... so why do I look so different? Is it because I haven’t done any toning exercises or exercise in general? I only restricted. Is it because I had 2 fibrous protein bars for dinner and haven’t had normal BM because of the restricting?
Someone please help me understand what the heck I’m doing wrong. Because I’m about to break down and binge, basically 🥂
If I binge without purging, do i still have to tell my therapist?
/u/jon49er
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:11:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppg98/if_i_binge_without_purging_do_i_still_have_to/
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Fuck everything. God damnit fuck goddamn everything.
[Rant/Rave] i’m so sick of this.
/u/incesticides
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:08:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppfji/im_so_sick_of_this/
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i have BED, and i’ve been in a binge cycle for EIGHT FUCKING WEEKS. i was doing so good; i weighed in at a smooth 115lb, things were good, and i wasn’t far off from my gw of 105.
then shit happened, as it always has a way of doing. my best friend/crush got severely depressed. school started. i’ve been in a depressive episode. my aunt tried to kill herself again. a family member insulted my weight.
and i binged and kept on trying again again again but it’s no use because i’m fucking destined to be fat. FAT.
so now i’m sitting in my living room, bloated and full of cheap Chinese food that i didn’t need, sitting at an awful 2500 cals and about to go to a party when all i want to do is cry.
i’m so lonely, and i need to lose weight. i’m so fucked.
just some things i need to yell at myself to get me back on track
/u/-fauna [5'5 | CW: 102 | 17.0 | UGW: Maintain 95-99 ♥ | 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:04:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppej9/just_some_things_i_need_to_yell_at_myself_to_get/
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I've been stuck maintaining the past 3 months despite being so close to my goal weights because I'm a big idiot! And let me tell ya'll, I'm sick of it.
☆ Just because you're drinking 3 diet sodas a day doesn't mean it replaces the water you should be drinking!! Not drinking water is making you feel like shit and making your hunger worse. Stop it.
☆ Just because you purge doesn't give you an excuse to eat back all the calories. You're gaining nothing (*besides weight*) by hurting your body just to eat the same amount (if not more) right after.
☆ Go back to tracking your calories in a physical log!! Your brain is really unreliable and you're too forgetful to remember everything you ate let alone the exact calorie count!
☆ Your walks to and from class don't burn more than 100 calories... stop thinking you're suddenly active when you're not.
☆ Stop using 24hr fasts as a reason to overeat the day before and/or after.
☆ Stop... eating... peanut butter...
[Rant/Rave] Got this notification on my Apple Watch while purging tonight... Thanks for the encouragement and letting me know purging burns calories 😂
/u/sunshineandpuppies98
Created: Fri Oct 19 18:04:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppeht/got_this_notification_on_my_apple_watch_while/
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https://i.redd.it/rqzo4vuye8t11.jpg
I got accepted back to uni
/u/Bookeisha [182 cm | 57.3 kg | BMI 17.3 | M ]
Created: Fri Oct 19 17:56:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ppca7/i_got_accepted_back_to_uni/
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I was kicked out of uni 10 days ago (see my previous post) but thanks to my mom who didn't give up and fought for me, they accepted me back. Bless her heart 😭
I like to think this was a sign from God/the universe to tell me it is time I get my shit together. I don't know? Going back home felt great and gave me time to rest and reevaluate my current condition. I started the academic year in a very toxic mindset but the self destruction stops here. I need that degree.
I told myself if by some miracle I got accepted back, I would take care of myself and actively work on recovery not to fuck things up. Well this is it. This year is my final year, with less than 50 credits to graduate in an engineering field. A LAST chance was given to me (their words) and I'm definitely not going to take it for granted.
My gym subscription is already cancelled. Saved thinspo, instagram and whatever means I had to trigger/motivate/distract myself are also deleted. I'll do the groceries and cook. No more isolating or fasting during the WE, I'll go back to my parents' instead. I might need to take a pause from dating too, at least for a good little while (the gay community is fun but the beauty standards toxic and men are just too much). I also plan to go back to the doctor and get my anxiety seriously in check this time.
Shit. This is going to be so fuxking hard. Ngl there's a part of me that's already rolling its eyes right now screaming "WISHFUL THINKING" and that I'll be back to posting on r/proedmemes by next week but I really want to prove myself wrong. We all deserve to be happy, right?
Why do I do the things that I do 🙃
/u/cruelbombs
Created: Fri Oct 19 17:41:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pp8bk/why_do_i_do_the_things_that_i_do/
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story time: tl;dr i got a bottle of powdered ipecac because i’m fukin dumb
alright lads so here’s the tea
today i went to an antique mall with my friend. this place is HUGE and has so much stuff in it. for those of you who have perused antique stores you’ll know that sometimes there will be bottles with some liquid still in it. sometimes an old soda or cologne or something.
so i found an old bottle of ipecac around the area with these other bottles and it was like shoved in the back. there’s only enough label left on it to read what it was. i can’t find any date on it but it looks old I guess?? aanndd of course it was open and pretty much full :^)
i really have no clue if it’s Actually ipecac because I have no idea what it would look/smell like, and i didn’t even know they used to have a powdered kind???
i debated a good 30 minutes whether or not to buy it. in the end i decided that if i didn’t get it i would lose my mind thinking about it.
my friend thank god didn’t know what it was and i just vaguely said “oh it has to do with vintage medical stuff” 🙃
it’s still wrapped in newspaper hidden in my dresser. i don’t think i’ll ever use it (and TW: i really wouldn’t care if it hurt me anyways 🤷♀️) and i hate that i now have this in my possession and i just. hate this lol
thank you for reading this if you did, sorry it was long but i talk to zero people about ED stuff so thank you for an outlet to vent
[Help] Help
/u/msnormanmaine
Created: Fri Oct 19 17:34:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pp6lu/help/
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Currently ordering hella pasta salad and bread may the purge gods be with me tonight
[Rant/Rave] [TMI] Just hit a bulimia milestone I guess, and it's not glamorous.
/u/feellikegucci [5'2 | 18 F | cw: 141lbs | 25.6 | gw: 88lbs | -17lbs]
Created: Fri Oct 19 17:12:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pp0gk/tmi_just_hit_a_bulimia_milestone_i_guess_and_its/
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So, in short because this is very disgusting, I just purged spicy noodles out of my nose.
I was too impatient, pushed my fingers too far, totally blocked the food so that the only way out was up. Yes, it burned the insides of my nose. Yes, I'm still propelling pasta chunks out of my nostril. Yes, the image of me in the mirror then will haunt me for the rest of my days.
But yay, I guess, finally experienced the fabled nose purge. Hope a ruptured esophagus is not next.
[Help] happy afternoon
/u/Mimilky
Created: Fri Oct 19 17:03:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9poxn6/happy_afternoon/
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okay, so, recently I've been like a little upset and feeling fat. my weight has been stagnant at 99 for like 4 months because I've been eating nonstop but yesterday I thought instead of feeling like shit maybe I should try fasting for like a day or something and see what happens because why not so I get up today and weigh myself and I'm 96.4 pounds and I'm like wow that was weirdly fast so like maybe I'm dying who knows I need someone more educated on this topic to help me figure out this out like idk is it weird to lose like 3 pounds in a day???
For those of us that like to sip on tea: Does green tea on an empty stomach make you throw up?
/u/AnyThrillWillDo
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:48:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9potmw/for_those_of_us_that_like_to_sip_on_tea_does/
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I've been trying to satiate myself with drinking more types of hot teas. I just had green tea after not really eating today, and just a few minutes later I got extremely nauseated. I ended up throwing up all of it! Have you guys noticed this with green tea? I looked it up and apparently it's a thing. It hasn't happened to me before, but I guess my stomach was really empty. Also, if you guys have any tea suggestions that you really like, I'm on the hunt for more kinds haha
[Discussion] DAE weigh themselves in the middle of the night?
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1.4 | CW: 184 | BMI: 24.3| HW: 370| M]
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:41:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9porpz/dae_weigh_themselves_in_the_middle_of_the_night/
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So I drink way too much water and am always concerned about my morning weight, so when I inevitably get up to pee at 1am or 2am in the morning, I always weigh myself. This is especially stupid because my scale has no light, so I need to turn on the lights (waking myself up more) to do this.
Does anyone else do this?
Im doing this for attention..
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:35:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pops8/im_doing_this_for_attention/
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I have depression and anxiety, but I dont have an ED.
I look at memes, read your stories and replicate it into my lifestyle.
I am a faux anorexic.
I love it. I love the exhaustion, being part of the community, counting all the calories i have, restricting, feeling my stomach rumble, seeing the number on the scale go lower and lower. It gives me a thrill.
I dont feel out of control anymore. My depression and anxiety used to own me. Id see people and think theyre judging me, id think im worthless, every one hates me, no man or women will want me...you name it.
Now I still have those thoughts but i can tell myself itll be okay. I MAY be worthless, I MAY be undesirable, i MAY be being judged..but its okay.
Once I am thin, itll be okay.
Ill be enough for me and everyone around me. Thin me wont be worthless and undesirable, so now I have a goal.
So, im sorry everyone. I know youre all suffering and here i am, a depressed girl wanting to feel special 🤷♀️
[Rant/Rave] Why can't my LWs & my Skin be on sync?????
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.5 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:29:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ponyc/why_cant_my_lws_my_skin_be_on_sync/
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I'm maintaining right now. Which would normally drive me crazy, I have been battling the fun binge/purge cycle all year & finally have that under control. Except due to extreme stress/depression/anxiety & lack of sun & sweaty cardio & too much chocolates my face broke the fuck out. I know it's so trivial but I just want my clear skin back. (Beside the horrendous scarring on my face) Guess I'm hideous as usual, sorry to everyone that has to see me tonight & this weekend lolollolol
Just wanting some support.
/u/conuretrash [5'3.5''| 20 F | CW 148 | GW 115| -42 |]
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:25:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pomt7/just_wanting_some_support/
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Hey guys. I've been extremely lonely lately, and binge ate today and yesterday. I've also been failing my fasts at like 40 hours in, so really it's like I'm doing alternative OMADs. I'm just down about this because I'm barely restricting. I really, really want to go until Monday without eating just to snap out of my binging. I don't know if I'll be able to do it because I'm so addicted to sugar. I just wanted to vent a little plus I don't have anyone to talk to and will probably complete the week without having actually talked out loud for seven days and it's messing up badly with my psych. IDK, I just feel like even getting some sort of acknowledgment over the web is enough social stimulation for me to feel "validated"/"supported" and that type of stuff helps me avoid feeling like binging.
[Rant/Rave] People can’t seem to tell the difference between my arm and my leg?
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:23:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pom9j/people_cant_seem_to_tell_the_difference_between/
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Am I that fat????!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got my first tattoo today (I love it so much!!!!! It’s a sunshine on the back of my calf.), and from a pic I’m sending to people they keep thinking it’s my arm? My legs in general are my biggest insecurity area bc they’re so JIGGLY and big and I hate it (hopefully this tattoo will help my love my legs more :’) ) but it’s still kinda shit that people can’t tell. Imo my arms have gotten quite small but evidentially not bc people are thinking that my leg is my arm :(((((((((
[Help] How much is possible to bloat in a day?
/u/bearantennae8611
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:23:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pom8v/how_much_is_possible_to_bloat_in_a_day/
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I know everyone’s body is different, and I know not everyone is a scientist, but how much do you think it is possible to bloat in a day? Can someone put on 15 lbs? 10 lbs? Not real weight but just food in your digestive system, waste, and fluid retention. Is it consistent? Like do some of you regularly bloat 5 lbs every day no matter what you eat or does it vary?
I’m just feeling really down because I weighed myself last week and was 10 lbs down, but it was also during my placebo week of pills in my birth control, and now it’s all back today. So I’m just thinking it’s fluid retention from the pill, but I’ve honestly never bloated that much with this birth control out of the 6 years I’ve been on it. I’m just trying not to let it affect my head and my eating and send me into a binge. I just hate that I was actually feeling better about myself and thought I was finally making my way back down, but i don’t think it was real :( I knew I shouldn’t have said it out loud to people.
Weird snacks
/u/mmmgood5
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:16:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pokc8/weird_snacks/
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What kind of "weird" snacks do people eat?
So, I'm in class and fuqin' hungry but I already ate way over my calorie limit, but my friend had a soy sauce packet and I ate that. Everyone looked at me like I was insane but it totally quelled my salty fix and was only 5 calories. Sometimes I also eat salt to do the same, or EmergenC packets.
[Rant/Rave] stuck at my dad’s this weekend.
/u/orangeinfusedbanana [15F | 5’8 | UGW: 100 | fat bitch :^)]
Created: Fri Oct 19 16:07:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pohpz/stuck_at_my_dads_this_weekend/
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i’m going to be stuck at my dad’s this weekend and i’m really worried. my dad always forces me to eat EVERYTHING he cooks and to finish my whole plate, regardless of anything. i only have to stay two days so it’s not that bad but he’s actually mental, i cannot stand him. how can i get away with restricting there if he’s going to fucking shove food down my throat. for god’s sake, i’m not even allowed to leave his house or go into my room without permission. i can’t purge anymore either, my gag reflex is basically destroyed. i’m freaking out
Torn between thriving on compliments and despising them
/u/bad-day-throwaway-
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:44:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9poaqi/torn_between_thriving_on_compliments_and/
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So today at work (I’m a restaurant hostess) a customer asked me “What do you eat? Twigs?” as I was seating him and telling him about our seasonal items. And I didn’t know what to say. I just made a comment about eating healthy and walked away. Like part of me is like 😍😍 omg someone noticed how skinny I am and the other part of me is like PLZ DONT COMMENT ON MY WEIGHT THX and I’m just like...brain I don’t understand what are you doing? How are we feeling about this?
[Discussion] What do you consider “skinny thighs”?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:42:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9poa6j/what_do_you_consider_skinny_thighs/
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Sorry if this is sort of an inappropriate post, but what measurement do you consider “skinny thighs” as opposed to normal?
[Rant/Rave] A big realization today...
/u/happyplantlover [5'8 | CW:114lbs | GW: 112lbs | -25 lbs | F20]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9poa68/a_big_realization_today/
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in my nutrition class we are talking about food labels, added sugar, metabolism of carbohydrates etc. etc... I cannot even begin to relate to the students around me who ***don't know how to read one***. The instructor showed an example label and I knew exactly what it was without seeing the product name and a girl was like "how do you know that"... I have to learn to shut up in this class or I'm gonna be called out for my ED tendencies fml.
​
On a positive note, I have gotten 100% on both of the exams because nutrition related research is a fucking hobby I do in my free time... and tbh reading about food and the detrimental types of it that exist is a good distraction to keep me from eating in general.
i just took 160 dulcolax
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 52.7kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:37:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9po8i7/i_just_took_160_dulcolax/
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yeah. you know how it be. i b/p’d but then i binged again so i just took a fuckton of lax. sad part is they probably won’t even work that well cuz my tolerance is so high
my binge was
roasted chickpeas (300?)
halo top (250?)
gummies (300?)
ramen (380)
a bunch of deli meat (100?)
two sandwiches (420???)
some caramel popcorn (100? idk)
alllmond milk (100 idk)
sum candy (100ish)
so like 2150 all together plus the ~200 i’d had prior. which actually is way lower than i thought but still a surplus. i’m already up a solid... 4? pounds from a week ago (it was 6. but i lost)
idk. if i fall into another binge cycle i’ll scream. i’m gonna plan out my meals and any b/p’s i’m gonna have for the next week. i’m not gonna weigh until like wednesday so, see y’all then.
follow me @ ig misplacedcats i’m gonna start posting every single fuckin’ thing i eat (w/ aesthetically pleasing pics) and i’ll follow u back.
i wanna be 100lbs by january 1 and i was 116.7 today so 👍 lol.
[Rant/Rave] People guessing my weight (yay but no yay)
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 23.5” waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:36:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9po89x/people_guessing_my_weight_yay_but_no_yay/
---
I don't know whether you guys experience this??? I'm was born in asia but im studying in the US right now, but i have a lot of asian friends here as well.
Every time they try and guess my weight (idk why, dont even ask) I normally get guesses ranging from 88lbs (Wtf I dont think i'll ever reach that but a girl can dream) to 100lbs??????? It feels great for like 0.2 seconds and but in my head I KNOW i dont weight that much.
I think i weigh around 108-110lbs right now, i'm not sure because i've made it a point not to buy a scale, though i've had one sitting in my Amazon cart for the past month. I just rely on my measurements mostly.
I hate it when they guess my weight and its lower than I really am because it makes me feel like a fraud. It also makes me feel like its ok to eat more, which i honestly DONT wanna do right now. On the other hand it pushes me to keep going too so I can match their guesses?? Lol.
Just really hate how it makes me feel like I can justify eating normally since "i already look like i weigh less" but then again I also think they're guessing lower just to make sure they dont hurt my feelings? I dunno I just kinda laugh at whatever they guess and try to keep my response pretty neutral.
I guess I jsut dunno how to feel.
[Rant/Rave] Another company barbeque, aka, everyone telling me to eat.
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:36:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9po87z/another_company_barbeque_aka_everyone_telling_me/
---
So today was an appreciation bbq at work. I'm a vegetarian and have been eating just a small soup or small salad all week. So I had no interest in eating anything.
First, a coworker said "Food is here! Go make a plate!"
Then another "hey, I'll cover the phone if you want to go eat. There's garlic bread, baked beans, coleslaw, some pudding."
Then the CEO "Hey the food is ready for you when you are!"
All within ten minutes.
An hour goes by and my manager, who is a really great guy, said "Hey I know you don't eat meat but there's other stuff go get a plate. Your an employee and we appreciate you!"
So I go and get a plate. There's meat in the baked beans so I get a scoop of coleslaw and a piece of garlic bread. Let the plate sit at my desk for ten minutes. Take a bite of coleslaw, a third of the bread, throw it away.
On my way to get my plate I joked about how everyone was insisting I eat and my coworker said "well, yeah, we want to keep you healthy!"
My BMI is JUST under overweight
Maybe it's my paranoid brain but I feel like by saying I don't eat meat or sugar or candy, and turning down offered treats, that word in the office is I'm weird about food. Maybe it's the ten pounds lost in two weeks.
I dunno but why is everyone suddenly insisting that I eat!?
[Rant/Rave] Please don’t buy me food
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | CW: 130lbs | BMI: 19.77 | WL: 25lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:18:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9po2vb/please_dont_buy_me_food/
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I was in the car with my mum to pick up my dad from a night out (I love being in cars at night time so I always come along for things like that). On the way back she asked if my dad was hungry and he said no, so then she asked me. I mentioned in a previous post that she’s super suspicious about me potentially having an ED and she knew that I hadn’t eaten since (a small) dinner, so I just said “I don’t know are you”. She then decided we should go to Mcdonald’s since it was super close and already anxiety is setting in. I ate around 1000-1200 calories today (I can’t weigh my food because I live with my family but I track as best I can) which is high for me so I really couldn’t fit anything in never mind a Mcdonald’s. Anyways we get to the drive thru and she asks what I want. I have to think of something that doesn’t seem suspicious but isn’t huge so I say fries and a vanilla milkshake (never used to drink diet coke at all so she would’ve lectured me if I’d asked for that :/ plus in the past I’d never just have a soft drink and fries). She asks why I don’t want a meal and I say I’m not super hungry. She gets to the machine and orders a *large* fries and *large* milkshake without asking me (she never ever used to order large for us or herself) and orders nothing for herself or my dad. I offer some fries to them and they won’t take any. I eat my food on the way home while screaming internally and pretending like I wanted it.
I then get home and look up the calories. 1100cals for large fries and milkshake. What the fuck. 2300 calories. I was so close to the 120’s. I want to cry.
[Goal] i’m so excited
/u/orangeinfusedbanana [15F | 5’8 | UGW: 98 | fat bitch :^)]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:12:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9po0qh/im_so_excited/
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a few of my ribs and hipbones finally protrude i’m literally beyond fucking happy since i binged a month ago i’m finally back on track shsksks
[Help] Anyone else get scared of taking medication?
/u/KittyGemma [Height 5'3| Gender Female]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:04:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pnydg/anyone_else_get_scared_of_taking_medication/
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I'm not talking about just laxatives or anti-depressants
but any sort of medication even pain killers.
I get worried that they will fuck up my digestive system or make me gain weight for no reason at all.
[Help] heavy restriction + caffeine side effects?
/u/vvccvv [165cm| 🐷 | G110lbs| -12 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 15:02:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pnxs8/heavy_restriction_caffeine_side_effects/
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so i’ve been what i consider (but i’m gross so what do i know???) heavily restricting for the past week and just like the past few days i’ve been drinking 2 energy drinks a day. how bad is that for my health as long as i’m eating *something* that day?
[Rant/Rave] B/P two days in a row, low point
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Fri Oct 19 14:53:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pnuxi/bp_two_days_in_a_row_low_point/
---
Kind of a rant, kind of asking for a hug box.
Anyway, yesterday I binged. It was actually a fairly small binge - for me at least - and I'm pretty sure I got everything out. This morning I weighed the same as yesterday morning so not great but not bad either, relieving really.
I've *never* b/p'd two days in a row before; I've tried in the past, but the second day my body simply refused to let the food go it seemed.
And this evening, I don't know, I didn't even really feel like binging, I didn't feel particularly hungry, but I just started nibbling on some of yesterday's leftovers and before I knew it, 3/4 of a jar of biscuits was gone, half a tub of ice cream, 1/3 of a bag of crisps and two tubs of vanilla Greek yoghurt. Needless to say I felt incredibly guilty and disgusting and considering I have work tomorrow I decided to purge. I think I got more than half of it out, but it was difficult, thick and clumpy. Maybe to do with the psyllium fibre I took this afternoon. Probably absorbed a lot of the water I drank with the purge...
Anyway, I've just contacted my superior and called in sick for tomorrow. I haven't done that in years (not for ED reasons anyway because I literally feel too fat and disgusting to show myself to the world) so I feel really bad and guilty about it.
And the worst part? The most important thing to me is that I'm hoping I haven't gained weight. Felt shitty today already as my body decided to have a fat day, looking all bloated and trousers that haven't been tight in months suddenly were again and muffin tops appearing above my underwear and bra - also hasn't been that way in months.
[Discussion] Am I reading into this too much?
/u/lilmdjd [5’3 | CW: 130 | BMI: 23 | LW: 94| - 17| 23F ]
Created: Fri Oct 19 14:37:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pnpq5/am_i_reading_into_this_too_much/
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Hey friends!! Happy Friday!!
So where I work pays for our lunch every day. We get to pick from rotating vendors. I’m (primarily) a vegan, so I use that to justify skipping lunch occasionally. I’ve lost about 25 lbs now, and I admittedly look different. I eat lunch everyday w my two work buddies and they are kind of clueless dudes so they’ve never picked up on anything. They know I have lupus so sometimes I’ll blame my lack of appetite on that.
Yesterday morning, I caved and broke my fast by eating a salad I ordered the day before and never eat. I’m walking w my coworker out of the kitchen with it and I was like “haha yeah Idk why I’m so hungry” to try to make it less weird that I was eating a plain garden salad at 9 am. And he goes “yeah you should def eat something”.
Then today at lunch, I was picking at my salad because I had no intention of actually eating it, and they both commented. One of them made a joke about how I was starving my brain. The other says something about how I’m never hungry. It was all said in a joking, bro dude way and I laughed it off. They make fun of my veganism a lot, but like in a playful way. Could that be what this was? Or are they noticing? I’m not done losing weight and I don’t want this to get weird.....
Binge Necessity?
/u/athbilbao23
Created: Fri Oct 19 14:31:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pnnqi/binge_necessity/
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I have been struggling with a binge eating-fasting cycle for several weeks now.
I have noticed that there are periods of time during which an inclination to binge arises surrounding every meal. It's almost like my mind/body needs to binge when I eat in order for me to feel satisfied.
To give an example, I binged last night. Currently, I am thinking of getting food at a local calzone place later tonight. And I find myself looking forward not just to eating food from that place (since I know I enjoy it), but specifically large amounts of food from that place. I feel as though one calzone won't be enough, and as though I should get two so that I can really fill up.
I'm wondering why, especially after already having binged last night, I feel the need and urge to binge again. Why can't I be satisfied with one calzone?
Relapsing in all sorts of ways
/u/xz8362614455921r [5'2 | 109lbs | 20.7 | GW: 84lbs | 26NB]
Created: Fri Oct 19 14:08:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9png2e/relapsing_in_all_sorts_of_ways/
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[[Substance abuse/alcohol TW + long post incoming]]
It's absolutely unreal to me that October is winding down already. Feels like just yesterday I had all sorts of goals & plans, and I think I've failed on just about every one.
I was supposed to stay sober this month, and didn't. Was supposed to start exercising more, and didn't. Relapsed with self-harm after a couple weeks free of it.
Worst of all: I've been home alone lately (one roommate out of town, and the other works opposite my schedule so I never see them), and cannot stop bingeing!! My intake started going up slightly when I quit drinking, which was uncomfortable but manageable (still low enough to be considered restricting, but alcohol usually kills my appetite, so yeah). Now? As soon as I get home from work, it's alcohol and junk food almost nonstop until I pass out for the night. Literally, nonstop. I'm talking zoned-out shoving fistfuls of food into my face until feeling sick. (May be worth noting here I've never been able to purge, so I can't even get rid of it, just stuck here wallowing in my lack of self-control)
Also bought a new scale after not having one for a while, but am scared of putting batteries in it (for likely obvious reasons).
Sorry for the long, lame, rambling (& tipsy) post! I don't really have anyone to talk with about these things, hah. The community on this forum is great, tho!
Going to have to replace all the food in the pantry before my roommate comes back from vacation. Going to have to figure out how to go up from here starting next month. This isn't a way to live. Things would be different if I could afford my own little apartment, instead of having to split rent with people (I never have food when I live on my own / only buy food on an as-needed basis).
What a shameful, sorry existence, lol!
[Rant/Rave] When your research methods course is triggering
/u/lavlimeuse
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:57:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pncgv/when_your_research_methods_course_is_triggering/
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https://i.redd.it/ax0ceukt67t11.jpg
[Help] How did you guys get started with purging?
/u/Marca19 [5"0.5 | 99lbs | BMI 19.1| FTM]
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:54:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pnbjn/how_did_you_guys_get_started_with_purging/
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Hi everyone. I'm in...a difficult situation here. I've been purging since I was 14 on and off. I'm 20 now. When I started I purged maybe once or twice a month for a few months out of the year, stopped for the rest of the year and then the cycle started again. That stopped when I was 18. But I relapsed with my ED at the start of this summer, lost a lot of weight then binged back up to my HBMI of 21ish.
As of a few weeks ago I'm restricting but I started purging again. When I started it was like a free pass - 'Well, I don't do it often and it's less harmful currently than my self-harm', but it's already getting out of control. A few times a week at least.
This evening I got myself a tub of Breyer's cinnamon oat cluster ive cream which I'd been craving for days and PROMISED myself I'd enjoy (still under my cal limit). But no, of COURSE I had to purge it immediately after eating the whole tub. It wasn't even a binge, I felt happy and comfortable eating it but I had to purge anyway.
Where do you guys draw the line? When does it go from an occasional issue to a serious problem? I'm so scared, I don't want to go down this road. My teeth are already bad due to other medical issues and I'm very familiar with the other (awful) side effects of purging. What can I do?
[Help] Safe food ideas for a mini fridge by the bed? Please help me out!
/u/brbaaaa
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:53:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pnb3y/safe_food_ideas_for_a_mini_fridge_by_the_bed/
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My sister is moving out so she gave me her mini fridge. I think this could be very helpful because I always get horrible binge urges around midnight and I might be able to prevent myself from going to the kitchen if I stock up on some safe food in my room. Anyway, so far I have
\- pickles, yogurt, diet coke, water, cucumber
Please help me out with this boring list I have...possibly something I wouldn't feel as guilty to eat even late at night. Thanks!
back to purging and i feel fucking defeated -_-
/u/edgaranalhoe [5'10" | ugbmi 18-19 ish | bmi 21 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:47:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pn9i0/back_to_purging_and_i_feel_fucking_defeated/
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ugh, i don't even know where to start. i've always been sort of on the high end of healthy weight and decided to end it once and for all a few months ago, when my depression hit a long-time low again, so i decided that if there is one thing i can realistically change about myself to feel better, then i probably should. so it had been going well for a while, but i am a fucking weakling and i love food so much that occassionally i'd give in to binges (and the way it works for me is once i eat something calorie-heavy early in the day, i just say fuck it all and stuff my mouth until i can't move anymore, without thinking about the consequences). once i figured out that purging is a great way to set back the damage done to my body, i would resort to it for a while. since i don't like losing my teeth and generally going through the whole throw-up process, it helped me avoid binging for some time after. well, now i am back. i let myself eat like crazy for a few days around my birthday (mind you, this was a month ago), i can't get back to stably restricting, and i am so sick of the same old low-calorie foods i used to love not so long ago. i purged badly last night, and my throat has been sore since then. my hair has been breaking off like crazy too despite eating so much. and while i haven't gained too much this last month, i've been juggling the same 5 pounds for a while. i'm sick of everything. my mind tells me i look great, but i see myself in the mirror and feel fatter than ever before. this is not going well. how do i even get back to losing again idk 😫
[Discussion] Raw Vegan Intermittent Fasting Working Out everyday got me down to 107lbs!
/u/diamaria93 [5'9 | 115 | 17.0| 52| F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:43:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pn81r/raw_vegan_intermittent_fasting_working_out/
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Sooo unexpectedly since going raw vegan with little cheat days combined with intermittent fasting plus working out everyday got me from 115lbs to 107lbs at 5’9 granted I was so hungry last night and depressed because it feels like I can never eat enough fruits and be full and I want carbs but I guess it’s worth it. Fighting to love myself can’t believe I finally got to my super low underweight.
[Rant/Rave] So excited to eat
/u/wildcardwonder
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:42:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pn7pm/so_excited_to_eat/
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So I haven’t been eat that much recently but in the past few days I’ve restricted so heavily but I decided today I should treat myself to one of my favorite foods (sushi) I ordered two rolls and have spent a seriously sick amount of money to have it delivered via UberEats cause I’m so comfortable in bed but I can’t stop smiling. Like... yes! This made a terrible day a good one! Some random stranger is going to bring me food has no clue they’re about to put the biggest smile on my face I’ve had in awhile. I sound crazy, I’m sure, but it’s just one of those things I guess. I think every once in awhile, your body deserves a day where it can get what it wants:)
[Help] How do i convince myself im worth recovery?
/u/blegh67
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:27:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pn2u9/how_do_i_convince_myself_im_worth_recovery/
---
Ive been struggling with my ED for almost a year now. At first I lost alot of weight, like 50 lb in 3 months or so. I was overweight to begin with but i cant seem to give myself any credit for my weight loss. I cant shake this feeling that i need to finish what i started, that the weight im at now isnt something to be proud of. My boyfriend also struggles with an ED and im trying so hard to feel like i CAN be better, for him and for me. Ive been relapsing and getting slightly better for fucking months now, not seeming to be able to let go of the thought in the back of my brain that everything would be so much easier if i was thin. Im at a roadblock, i want to prove to myself that im worth SOMETHING i want to prove that i dont deserve to starve and suffer but my brain wont let me. Does anyone have any advice? How can i start seeing myself as a person V.S. a problem to be fixed?
Pooped and a whole pound came off
/u/pmmeured
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:18:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pmzxk/pooped_and_a_whole_pound_came_off/
---
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[Rant/Rave] Stuck at 140 ughhhh
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Fri Oct 19 13:06:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pmvyq/stuck_at_140_ughhhh/
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Really starting to hate my scale. I’ve been plateauing for over a month at 140. And this is with restricting, fasting, OMAD, and now I’ve added in exercise. I’m trying to keep in mind what my brother said - “the scale will stay stubborn for a while but if you’re at a consistent deficit it will have to drop.” I hope he’s right. I just can’t fast for more than 2 days straight, and that doesn’t make me lose weight anyway. If I could just get down to 138 I’d be happy.
[Help] About peach
/u/nsagaydo
Created: Fri Oct 19 12:46:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pmp4y/about_peach/
---
I've seen the app "Peach" mentioned a few times on this sub. Yesterday I created a profile for myself, and I'd love to add you guys there.
​
My ID is selflobotomy. Feel free to add me!
Anyone else lose 10 pounds by starving and then immediately binge it back on
/u/supersecretedaccount
Created: Fri Oct 19 12:14:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pmekm/anyone_else_lose_10_pounds_by_starving_and_then/
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I’ve lost and gained the same 10 pounds about 5 times over the past few months and I want to die
[Other] Riced Cauliflower & Fat Free Beans! ~250 cal lunch!
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 12:00:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pm9u4/riced_cauliflower_fat_free_beans_250_cal_lunch/
---
https://i.redd.it/ocmmcjczl6t11.jpg
A Day in the Life of a ProED Member (Business Insider Parody)
/u/gigi-has-issues [5'9"| CW 155| GW 115| F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 11:58:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pm98c/a_day_in_the_life_of_a_proed_member_business/
---
Original article being trolled on twitter: [https://www.businessinsider.com/a-day-in-the-life-of-hsbc-executive-melania-edwards-2018-10#after-dinner-they-walk-around-the-neighborhood-which-has-become-their-evening-ritual-16](https://www.businessinsider.com/a-day-in-the-life-of-hsbc-executive-melania-edwards-2018-10#after-dinner-they-walk-around-the-neighborhood-which-has-become-their-evening-ritual-16)
​
Here, r/proED user and karma whore u/gigi-has-issues describes a day in her life
* Gigi wakes up at 6:30AM even though her alarm isn't until 8:15 because she has to pee as she drinks so much fucking liquid throughout the day. She scrolls r/proEDmemes and checks the DailyMail for brain candy before unsuccessfully trying to get more sleep. Around 7:30AM, she says 'fuck it' and starts her day feeling miserable. Weighs herself and logs it, either pissed or elated.
* At around 8AM, she fires up her work computer \[she works from home\] while making a nutritious breakfast [http://www.bronkaid.com/images/bronkaid-product2.png](http://www.bronkaid.com/images/bronkaid-product2.png) [https://s3.monsterenergy.com/media/uploads\_image/2016/06/30/auto/800/21a76071c4fe9f04280201004668bd9e.png](https://s3.monsterenergy.com/media/uploads_image/2016/06/30/auto/800/21a76071c4fe9f04280201004668bd9e.png) ready to pretend to work
* Between 9AM and 12PM she vapes like she is an asthmatic about to die and her mod is her inhaler. She also inputs her planned calories into her app for the day, despite knowing she is going to fuck up and have to edit it. Probably also takes another Bronkaid.
* 12:30PM -- lunch time! She heats up a can of 200 calorie soup and has 1/4 cup of unplanned pistachios. Fuck.
* 3PM Makes coffee and obsessively checks r/proED, r/fatlogic, r/1200isplenty, r/EDfood and r/proEDmemes. Laments the fact she cannot send her friends any of the memes or brag about how many upvotes hers got.
* 4PM: Checks her body for new fat. Takes a few selfies and feels ugly. Deletes them. Another Bronkaid lol.
* 5:30PM -- Gigi's workday is done. Time to give back to the community. "I just really feel it's important to uplift other women," she says, rudely forgetting we have a bunch of male EDers here. "I like to give back by throwing upvotes at basically all the posts".
* At 6PM, she heads to the grocery store unsure if she's going to leave feeling powerful for turning down food and only getting more Monsters, or disgusted with herself for getting Brie and Chardonnay.
* Evening hours: "I like to either get drunk and binge or watch triggering material on YouTube/Netflix/Hulu. It could really go either way," she giggles.
* 10PM: Gigi takes her dog for a walk. She checks her fitbit to see how many extra calories she burned, resentful her small breed dog can't walk more than a fucking mile without having a heart attack.
* 10:30PM "I go to bed excited to find out how much weight I've lost in the morning," she says.
​
​
​
​
[Tip] took a minute for the EC stacks to work.
/u/happybumblebree [✨🍭 27F | 17.6 💖✨]
Created: Fri Oct 19 11:56:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pm8di/took_a_minute_for_the_ec_stacks_to_work/
---
i've had bronkaid for about a week trying to figure out the best way to take it.
cut it in half, took one at 9am and then one at 3pm. didn't famously suppress my appetite.
did the same thing, but drank caffeine with it. still didn't work.
took one in the morning with a white monster. nope.
took one after eating in the morning with a white monster. mmmnope.
took one in the morning with 200mg caffeine pills this time, THEN ate a small meal. it worked! finally! i've barely touched food in two days.
don't know if ephedrine is as fickle with anyone else as it was with me, but i searched for what other people were doing and couldn't find anything, so i thought i'd publish my super scientific findings.
Today, this changes
/u/Lemon_plath
Created: Fri Oct 19 11:53:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pm7of/today_this_changes/
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I am disgusting.
I know this. I can feel it when I touch the softness between my hips and my ribs, the curve that should be there but isn't, the handfuls of moldable fat. I can see it in the mirror when I turn around and see the ugly lines and flaps and rolls on my back, on my upper stomach, on the crowded, swollen flesh between my underarms and my chest. My thighs, when they are covered in fabric, are endless. They double, triple in size the more I stare at them. They don’t seem to have contours- they are just a wide mass of flat colour.
My whole body seems unreal. I touch it, but there can’t possibly be so much of it. It is so soft, so temporary, but there is a horrible hardness underneath it. I turn sideways when I look in the mirror, to see how thin I can make myself be if I suck in and if I pose. Nothing is ever enough, and when I inevitably let out my breath, shift my weight off my foot, I can see the truth, what everyone else sees. My stomach sticks out far beyond what I could ever imagine when I look down at myself. It is so painful to look at, and the pain is real, it’s in my skin stretching, my fat hanging down, my organs bloating and shifting around and crowding for space. I look like a perverted move backwards in evolution, some hideous type of gorilla, with my arms flailing and my meals proudly showing themselves off. It adds to my failure, it reminds me that I am a horrible public disfigurement, someone who never caught up to the others.
Today, this changes.
Contribute to Research!
/u/andersonlab
Created: Fri Oct 19 11:48:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pm5ny/contribute_to_research/
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Are you currently receiving treatment for an eating disorder and are 18 or older? If so, graduate student researchers at the University at Albany are looking for participants for a study examining perceived treatment experience and eating disorder symptoms. Participation entails filling out 2 short (10-15 minute) surveys. Your help will aid us in furthering knowledge about how to best treat eating disorders! Survey link here: [https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/TCQ8LDD](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/TCQ8LDD) Questions? Contact Joseph Donahue: [jdonahue@albany.edu](mailto:jdonahue@albany.edu) or Christina Scharmer [cscharmer@albany.edu](mailto:cscharmer@albany.edu). \*Note, participation in this study does not impact your treatment in any way.
I'm kind of afraid of eating
/u/hazelnut___ [5'9 | SW:158 | CW:151 | GW:135 | f22]
Created: Fri Oct 19 11:04:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9plrce/im_kind_of_afraid_of_eating/
---
I've been really restricting lately and feeling surprisingly ok but now I becoming increasingly afraid of eating. I'm scared that if I have something small it's going to bring back the urge to eat and I'll start craving food and start binging again.
my boyfriend doesn’t like my ED... and yet I KNOW he prefers me smaller.
/u/drusillaclack
Created: Fri Oct 19 11:02:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9plqle/my_boyfriend_doesnt_like_my_ed_and_yet_i_know_he/
---
I wouldn’t want him to “support” my ED, honestly. That would be extremely upsetting to me. He is just kind of hands-off and mildly disapproving. When I’ve fasted for more than 24 hours, he’ll be like “okay, that’s enough.” I don’t really mind this, and I can appease him by eating small things.
Sometimes, though, we’ll have big conversations about it and he’ll get more vocal. He watched To The Bone one day while I was at work (hate that movie myself) and kind of went into a super concerned state. Started questioning me more about it, saying things like “you’re already small! I don’t get it! Can you focus on recovery? Can’t you just maintain?” Etc etc.
And yet I know he likes me extremely small best. I KNOW it. Like a lot of you can relate, I yo-yo with weight. The smallest I’ve ever gotten down to is 107. I remember him best at 107–he was all over me then, moreso than usual. Sex went from 4 times a week to 8–it literally fucking doubled. He would look at me and say “you’re so tiny” in a voice that was SUPPOSED to sound “sad” but instead sounded like... admiration and amazement. And I can’t get that voice out of my head. It was all the affirmation I ever wanted.
Idk. Sometimes when he gets on me about it I kind of want to turn on him and be like, dude, maybe you don’t realize it, but you actually love when I lose weight... so shut up and let me get there.
I feel safer eating alone.
/u/notyourpeach
Created: Fri Oct 19 10:56:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9plomq/i_feel_safer_eating_alone/
---
Just wanted to share my thoughts. I'm on mobile so I can't flair my post.
I feel so much safer eating alone than with a bunch of people. I feel more called and like I can actually enjoy my meal. Helps me feeling less of a scumbag when I eat.
What do you prefer?
[Rant/Rave] Dealing with my therapist
/u/kodi520
Created: Fri Oct 19 10:54:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9plo0g/dealing_with_my_therapist/
---
Posting on my main, because whatever. I deleted my ED account and this is easier than making a new one...
Trying to recover. Actually trying. My therapist and I were discussing this. I'm still terrified of gaining weight and I'm starting to see a dietician. I know I will gain once I start eating more. I've been eating 1000 calories daily and I've maintained my weight for a month now. I am still at a normal bmi it's just on the lower end of normal. My therapist's response was " well [the dietician] can help you to do that. Honestly you're probably healthier at your current weight, than you were 4 months ago (when I was at the upper end of a healthy bmi)"
For me it was as if he had said that I was completely right to restrict because I was so fat.
I'm restricting to about 150 calories/daily now. If I was fat before, I can't afford to gain weight while I'm at a healthy weight.
Just wanted to post this where people might understand where I'm coming from and why I'm upset.
[Discussion] PH: Considering jellies, please tell me about it
/u/LynCross [152.5cm | BMI: 25.1| CW: 128.75 lbs |UGW: 101lbs |F ]
Created: Fri Oct 19 10:49:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9plmfi/ph_considering_jellies_please_tell_me_about_it/
---
I've been hearing a lot about jello shots or low cal jellies. There's not a lot of low cal stuff in a normal filipino supermarket but I'll try to find jelly pouches in korean conbis. I remembered one korean youtuber talking about jellies.
Please educate me and what kinds taste good.
[Rant/Rave] I have a sort of silly question/rant based on some (likely irrational) thoughts
/u/zachbrownies
Created: Fri Oct 19 09:53:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pl3fw/i_have_a_sort_of_silly_questionrant_based_on_some/
---
I'm not even sure this is r/proed material but I like the community here so I want to ask
Did anyone else read the post in the casual conversation sub this morning about the person who describes themselves as "close to a couch potato" but just decided to randomly go running and ran 3 miles on their first attempt?
It's bothering me because I started doing the couch to 5k app workouts this month in order to slowly build up to 5k (which is roughly 3 miles) and now I'm wondering, like, wtf am I doing, why don't I just get up and run the full 5k right now, apparently this person, despite being a couch potato, did it and had no problems and everyone just said "yay keep doing it" and they're gonna go run every day now
I thought for people who have no previous history with running, it's really hard to just run a long distance all at once and you have to build up? Is this a lie? Am I just lazy? I tried building myself up even quicker than the couch to 5k app last month but it made my legs way too sore and I just didn't have the ability to run for longer than a few minutes so I slowed down to this 3-times-a-week thing and now I'm wondering if something is wrong with me and I should be able to just wake up and do 3 miles.
It's an ED-fueled thought because I gained back like 40-50lbs earlier this year and I *need* to lose it ASAP because I can't get my weight/food off my mind 24/7 and I want to burn as many calories as possible, so following the app is killing me because I want to burn way more than the 200 or so calories it's giving me right now with it's slowly-building-up intervals of walking/jogging, I want to become fit and healthy and everything ASAP and I'm already annoyed that the app makes me do these super slow intervals to start off and I force myself to listen to it and remind myself that going slowly is important, but apparently it isn't for some people.
And this post is on my mind now because I feel like there's something wrong with me or I was dumb to try to follow this app or... I don't even know.
Please help? Why am I thinking this way? Is the science behind this app (slowly building up, not just doing 3 miles right away) correct? Can someone please rationally explain to me why this random stranger's progress has *nothing* to do with my own, because I sort of logically know that but yet my mind is telling me I'm a failure because of it?
If you read all this nonsense then thank you
Gum alternatives?
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 09:47:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pl1jc/gum_alternatives/
---
So sadly I’m pretty sensitive to artificial sweeteners, so I can’t chew gum without my stomach really hurting. Unfortunate for someone with an ED, I know. But I used to love it, and I love being able to just chew on something? You guys get it. But I was wondering what might be a good alternative to chew on for a while without many/any calories? I like chewing on whole cloves because they sort of numb your mouth and feel cool, definitely try that if you haven’t before! What else is out there that’s sort of like that? All natural gums are pretty cool too but they’ve got more sugar and are hard to find.
[Rant/Rave] Why do people think they can tell you about your own ED???
/u/sorrymina
Created: Fri Oct 19 09:44:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pl0dd/why_do_people_think_they_can_tell_you_about_your/
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I’m so mad. It’s been a month and I still can’t let it go. I hate it when people think they can tell ME about MY OWN ED.
I made the mistake of opening up to my older cousin about my problem because I noticed she’s teaching her 5 year old daughter some things that I think could be harmful to her relationship with food in the future, and you know what she did? She LAUGHED at me. It wasn’t lighthearted or anything like that. It was mean. I opened up to her about my terrible time having an unhealthy relationship with food and she laughed in my face and said “you definitely don’t have an eating disorder” and rolled her eyes like I was being ridiculous. Like ok, Rachel, just because I don’t look like I’m on the verge of death doesn’t mean I don’t struggle every single day with food. Anyone can have an ED, and I don’t appreciate the insensitive behavior when I’m in such a terrible place.
Fml. This interaction caused me to gain 20lbs. I hate binge eating. I was doing so well before that, and now I’ve taken like a million steps back. It’s just so discouraging when you’re trying to recover and someone does shit like this right to your face.
[Help] Pros and Cons of walking on the treadmill versus riding the stationary bike
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 |CW 117 | GW 115 | GW 105-110 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 09:37:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pky3e/pros_and_cons_of_walking_on_the_treadmill_versus/
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These are usually my two forms of exercise. Which one is more efficient? In a half hour, which would burn more calories.
[Discussion] If you had unlimited money, what ED things would you spend it on?
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 09:34:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkxdi/if_you_had_unlimited_money_what_ed_things_would/
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This question occurred to me the other day and I’m curious how other people would answer it. For me, I’m thinking it might be coolsculpting.
is just me, or do people actually care if you did/didn't bring lunch to work
/u/im-stressed-af-fam [5'3 | UGW: 108 | CW: binged]
Created: Fri Oct 19 09:00:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkm2u/is_just_me_or_do_people_actually_care_if_you/
---
I've interned at 3 office type places and all of them have asked me multiple times throughout my time there if I brought lunch, why I didn't bring lunch, and that I should start bringing it. I'm like 10 pounds overweight rn so it's not like they're concerned about my health or suspect something is wrong. It's not like the entire office gathers every day at 12 to eat together and I'm the only one sitting there w/o food being awkward. At my current office, people just eat their lunches whenever they feel like at their desks because we don't have a break room, but my supervisor STILL asks me every day if I brought lunch. Is it because I'm an intern, young, and relatively new to the office? when I worked minimum wage jobs at non-professional places, literally nobody would ever ask me about my food.
sometimes I bring food, sometimes I don't. usually, it's just because I'm too lazy to prepare lunch the night before and ever since middle school I'm just in the habit of not eating lunch until I go home. it just seems like such a dumb, personal question... like I'm in college, maybe I don't have money for groceries atm, maybe I have health conditions, maybe I don't like eating in front of people, etc.
[Rant/Rave] no one notices
/u/PM_ME_UR_PRAXIS
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:59:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pklh1/no_one_notices/
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i’ve lost 14 lbs in the last 3 months. i’m only 5 ft tall, i have a small frame, so isn’t a loss of 14 lbs supposed to be noticeable? i thought even if i can’t see it, surely others can?
no one has said anything. not my mom or my sister when i send them pictures of myself. none of my classmates or friends. no one talks to me as it is and nobody ever responds to my texts. i’m starting to feel like i don’t exist ...
CHEAP Safe Foods Thread
/u/hammerprice [5'11" | obese | -28lb | 27F | vegan | 🍑 hammerprice (add me!)]
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:58:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkl9j/cheap_safe_foods_thread/
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Inspired by u/VoiceOfAsh 's recent post about how low-calorie foods are usually more expensive, I thought we could all use a thread about affordable safe foods! ✨ Especially if we include our location and where we buy them!
A couple to start:
* Raw cabbage specifically is a great filler IMO, I shred it really finely and use them to bulk out my soups instead of/to supplement noodles 😋
* Pickles ofc. I got some cheap ones the other day with no flavor that I fixed by throwing in a few raw garlic cloves 👍
* Here in Aus our ALDIs have an almond milk that is really really delicious and a lot cheaper than most almond milk brands. Almond milk is so low calorie but I couldn't stand it until I tried this brand. But it's [this one](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0004/6376/5510/products/Inner_Goodness_Almond_Milk_Chilled_1L_x700.jpg?v=1534833812) from the FRIDGE, not the shelf-stable one. The shelf stable one is okay but not as nice!
* If you buy a lot of them it'd be cheaper to buy in bulk, but Daiso sells [Orihiro konjac jelly drinks/snacks](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ox8qooO1PC0/WtpFslBY4WI/AAAAAAAATr0/bFMlWqGSOp8J3foZoovH68p8juK9DzYagCLcBGAs/s1600/orihiro%2Bpeach%2Bjelly%2Bcontainer.jpg) that are around 50 cals each for $2.80 🍑 These take a while for me to finish and satisfy my sweet cravings, so they really help me avoid binging.
* A lot of konjac pasta/noodle brands are expensive over here but Coles sells [Chang's "super lo-cal" noodles](https://shop.coles.com.au/a/a-sa-metro-christies-beach/product/changs-noodles-wok-ready-lo-cal) for less than $3 a packet! Haven't tried these yet but the price def beats Slendier at Woolies.
[Rant/Rave] I'm having an awful day and I'm not even hungry but I just want to eat something. Instead, I'm going to vent.
/u/Flesh-And-Bone [Too Short | Too Fat | Too Old | Duderino]
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:53:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkjhl/im_having_an_awful_day_and_im_not_even_hungry_but/
---
And I'm not going to. But I needed to vent about how shit my day has been:
1. Couldn't sleep due to calorific deficit.
2. Grabbed a teeny tiny snack to help me sleep.
3. Saw the clock after swallowing and it was almost time to get up anyway, so I fucked up my fasting for nothing.
4. Couldn't move worth a shit at the gym.
5. Scale was an unpleasant surprise this morning. Deliberately eating more to gain weight is shitty when you have an ED.
6. Work has been horrific and I've not even halfway done.
7. I feel fat and bloated constantly, and it feels like my stomach is just hanging over my pants, and yet I still have to stop myself from eating even healthy food.
I want to eat, but I'm not going to allow myself even a little bite. Not yet.
[Intro] Yesterday I didn’t even eat my goal calorie intake
/u/quentintarrantino
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:49:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkigo/yesterday_i_didnt_even_eat_my_goal_calorie_intake/
---
I’ve been eating 900 calories a day for a minute. I work in an office so it’s fairly easy and I just don’t think about food until I come home and eat a pint of halo top.
Except yesterday I only ate 1/4th of a pint and that morning I didn’t finish breakfast I just ate the bits of sausage my son wouldn’t eat. I’m equal parts mildly concerned and equal parts thrilled that I’ve lost the constant gnawing hunger whenever I’m in a kitchen.
I've lost what feels like a third of my hair in the past two weeks. I can't do this anymore.
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 119, -33 | 17.2 bmi | gw: 105 | 19f]
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:44:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkgqe/ive_lost_what_feels_like_a_third_of_my_hair_in/
---
Me and anorexia get along great. I don't like to eat and she doesn't like it either, I like seeing the scale drop, so does she. I feel more beautiful when I don't eat.
One thing I am even more self conscious about than my body though is my hair. It's been coming out in chunks, I can pull on it and rip hair off like grass from a meadow. My boyfriend even made a really fucking morbid joke: "Babe, I don't want to rip your hair off whenever I fuck you." (we had a good laugh about it, so no feelings hurt, I'm self aware when it comes to my ED).
I can't do this anymore. My hair is so thin. Fuck the scale, fuck a bloated stomach, fuck all of that. I'd rather exercise and eat well than be fucking bald. This is gonna take a long time but I'm so ready to ditch anorexia and go on with my life.
[Rant/Rave] so my boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue and he’s the only person i’ve ever fully opened up to
/u/SlightWasabi [5'5" | 155 | 25.8 | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:37:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkerf/so_my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_out_of_the_blue/
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the title says it all lmao
idk what to do. i know he wouldn’t tell anyone but the split was so sudden and i wasn’t expecting it at all. all of my friends and his friends are pissed at him and i have a great support system but i miss him and he was so good to me when we were dating.
he was the first person i ever had sex with, and the only person to ever make me feel like i want to get married and have kids and one day he just got bored and left.
The fucking wonders of Coke Zero
/u/Koweapoo
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:31:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pkcs2/the_fucking_wonders_of_coke_zero/
---
I realized a coffee I was drinking went up to 405 cals. It wasn’t the worst since i had that and a cup of corn flakes, it just sucked how much it was. This morning I didn’t know what to drink until I remembered y’all drink Coke Zero , I get the caffeine , the meal suppressant and taste. All those bitter 5 cal coffee can’t give me.
Full of Anxiety. Missed Period.
/u/sucrederable
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:08:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pk5av/full_of_anxiety_missed_period/
---
I missed last month's period and it looks like I'll be missing this month's. I am so anxious and worried over this. I am not underweight, but I've been restricting since February. How concerned should I be. I have a physical scheduled with my doctor in 3 weeks.
Someone please help me ease my mind. Did I just fuck my body up big time?
Braces-friendly safe foods?
/u/MudBulli
Created: Fri Oct 19 08:06:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pk4ru/bracesfriendly_safe_foods/
---
Got braces a few days ago and can barely eat anything so far. My parents bought me a tub of ice cream that I thankfully haven’t ate yet, but I want to get some other low-calorie soft foods before I binge on it. Any ideas?
[Rant/Rave] my willpower is non-existent. that’s it and I suck
/u/minisxule
Created: Fri Oct 19 07:51:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pk059/my_willpower_is_nonexistent_thats_it_and_i_suck/
---
I ate 6000 calories. I’m in pain and I hate myself
Finally hitting the gym regularly...
/u/DistortionPuddle [5'7"| CW:137 | BMI:21.5 | GW: 125 | 31F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 07:51:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pk00d/finally_hitting_the_gym_regularly/
---
Got a member at a cheap gym near my place mostly populated by old folks. Started going 3x weekly at 6am when it’s more or less a ghost town. Feeling good, even made a friend (old dude with a billion anecdotes about fishing). All great so far, but it turns out old man gym friend has a gym buddy of his own. Another old man who has ZERO problem making dirty old man comments in the presence of our mutual buddy. Today he’s like “why does your shirt hang off only your left shoulder? Why not both so we can enjoy double? Hahaha!”
Dirty Old Man never says anything to me when our mutual friend isn’t here, and when I mention to mutual friend how uncomfortable these comments are, he’s like “Old men gotta have fun, or what’s the point of living? He’s harmless.”
So now I’m thinking being friends with 70 year old dudes is problematic. They’re shameless and skew creepy. Just wanted to vent because I’m *trying* here and now I just don’t want to leave my house.
On mobile, please flag as rant.
I need help. To all the bulimics: how do you protect your teeth?
/u/minisxule
Created: Fri Oct 19 07:21:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pjr20/i_need_help_to_all_the_bulimics_how_do_you/
---
I’ve been purging for a while now. To be more specific, it’s been few months since I’ve started. Recently, my bulimia has been getting worse. I’m purging several times a week, and I am absolutely terrified of the damage I’m doing to my body.
I don’t know if it’s paranoia, but I think my teeth look different. They feel weaker. Is it possible that I already have permanent tooth damage? I’ve been routinely rinsing my mouth my self-induced vomit sessions: first water, then baking soda, followed by Listerine Original Mouthwash. Is this okay? I’m only 16, I wouldn’t be able to show my face in public if I had ugly teeth.
I am so disgusted with myself. I regret ever developing this habit, but things have gotten so bad. I feel absolutely horrible, and I have virtually no self esteem. To anyone who has ever tried to vomit, DON’T. It won’t help you lose weight. Rather, I’ve gained 20 pounds. I wish I was still anorexic.
A (good?) vent
/u/gm123
Created: Fri Oct 19 07:10:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pjnzc/a_good_vent/
---
I've been restricting since August to get ready for school when it started in September and now that it's October I've been seeing results. I don't have a scale because I'm afraid I'll get obsessed with weighing myself so I just go off of how loose my clothes are and they're definitely looser than they were before. I'm a guy who's been called ugly and fat most of my life both at school and home which made me shy and close myself off from people but this semester I made a special effort to talk to girls and it's been going really really well. Not only that, but I've had girls start conversations with me first and even flirt with me. I've even caught some girls staring at me and going out of their way to be near me which my friend (who is a girl) says is a clear sign they think I'm cute/handsome. I even had one table of 6-8 girls at work ask me for my name and try talking to me. It still blows my mind whenever I have the attention of any girl, let alone a whole group of them. I still doubt I'll get a girlfriend any time soon but it feels good that I don't have girls avoiding me or calling me ugly right to my face or behind my back.
The reason this isn't a completely good thing is I realized I only get this attention because I'm destroying my body by not eating. I wish I could be well-liked while still having a healthy relationship with food. I only feel this confident because of my eating disorder. I don't have anyone to share this with and I know you guys won't tell me to "man up" so I'll just share it with you all.
[Help] I’m 101-104 lbs at matinence.
/u/sylas69 [5’3.5 | 101 lbs | 17.6 | f]
Created: Fri Oct 19 07:08:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pjnae/im_101104_lbs_at_matinence/
---
I don’t know if I’m satisfied or not. My goal weight is 90 lbs. I guess I’m just looking for some thoughts on this.
[Rant/Rave] I wish I knew how to purge
/u/Serenescence
Created: Fri Oct 19 06:48:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pjhtd/i_wish_i_knew_how_to_purge/
---
Then instead of being a little fuck and changing my families meal plan for getting pizza because I can’t bring myself to eat pizza, I could have just purged it all away instead of causing complication.
I’ve tried before but I can never do it. I just dry heave and give up before I get anywhere. Fuck it would make eating with family so much easier.
[Rant/Rave] Dinner last night rant
/u/npozero
Created: Fri Oct 19 06:42:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pjgat/dinner_last_night_rant/
---
I had done so good all morning then my boyfriend was like “I don’t know what to do if you start having eating problems again.” So I had like an 800 calorie dinner. I’m so frustrated.
What are the WORST depictions of EDs you've ever seen in films or tv shows?
/u/Ronskyroo [5'10.5" | 23F | CW: 148 | GW: 130 |]
Created: Fri Oct 19 06:42:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pjg75/what_are_the_worst_depictions_of_eds_youve_ever/
---
Bad, inaccurate, glamourised, or straight up laughable depictions of eating disorders are way more common than realistic ones in media. I find this pretty frustrating, so I thought a post to vent could be a fun idea!
Anyone remember that Lizzie McGuire episode where Miranda skipped like one lunch and dinner then passed out? And it was never mentioned again? Good job dealing with that, Disney!
Suddenly Increasing Calcium Intake?
/u/gothicusmaximus [5'10" | 110 lb | BMI: 15.8 | Male | LW: 97]
Created: Fri Oct 19 06:21:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pjan5/suddenly_increasing_calcium_intake/
---
Does anyone know if it's dangerous to suddenly increase your calcium intake? I don't get much calcium, so I've ordered calcium supplements. (They actually just arrived as I was typing this.) When I start taking them, I'll go from 200mg of calcium per day, which I get from a multivitamin, to 1,000mg per day (excluding any calcium from food). I lost 40 pounds in 4 months recently (25% of my total starting body weight). It's hard to track calcium intake, because bread doesn't list how much calcium is in each slice on the packaging, though I eat bread pretty regularly... but I know I don't get enough calcium. I don't know if I have hypocalcemia or anything like that... probably not, but maybe. I honestly don't know. I thought I was doing fine physically, but then I noticed I was losing a lot of hair, so who knows.
[Rant/Rave] Woke up mad
/u/nekkedpebbl [5'2.25🌻102.2lbs🌻-13.8]
Created: Fri Oct 19 06:12:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pj8bz/woke_up_mad/
---
100.8. That was my number yesterday morning. I’m so close to my goal I can almost taste it...
Of course I binged. Of course I fucked it up. Fucking 103.2 by the evening. That’s 2.4 pounds of food that I ate. If I restricted like I was supposed to then I would probably be in the 100s’ by today.
And I know that it wasn’t even that big of a binge, I know that I’ve done worse, others have done worse, but it pains me when I am so. Fucking. Close.
Ate 10 prunes in hopes that I could poop all of the poison out.
Woke up this morning. I wear contacts, but my glasses that I put on first thing make everything seem smaller. I don’t trust them. Had the most unsatisfying bowel movement ever. My day is already ruined. I can already picture the scale telling me that I’m back in the 102s’ (which I was ecstatic for 2 days ago).
101.2
God it’s insane, how this disorder controls me, my life. My day was *ruined* before I saw that. But only .4? I can fast all day and reverse that. My day has flipped just because so some stupid fucking number on a scale. Fuck
[Sticky] Weekly Selfie, Progress Pic and OOTD Thread! October 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 19 06:11:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pj86g/weekly_selfie_progress_pic_and_ootd_thread/
---
This is the weekly picture thread for October 19, 2018.
Feel free to share your selfies, progress pics or outfit-of-the-day (OOTD) pics in this thread!
1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**
2. Please use the reddit image uploading feature or [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host. *Tip: Keep your pictures from getting published to the Imgur gallery (and subsequently commented/voted on by the general Imgur public) by changing the setting from Public to Only Me. This makes your content only accessible via the direct URL.*
3. Members *may not* ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback.
4. Consider adding commentary on featured brands, sizing, or inspiration behind your OOTD
**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**
*****
Selfie, progress pic and OOTD threads are posted every Friday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! October 19, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 19 06:11:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pj853/daily_food_diary_october_19_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 19, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
Thigh measurement thread
/u/smallest_madeline [F 5'1" | CW 96.8 | HW 125 | LW 80| GW 70 🍑 smallest_madeline]
Created: Fri Oct 19 05:59:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pj50j/thigh_measurement_thread/
---
Not sure if this is allowed but I want to know everyone's measurements. Specifically THIGHS. Nobody ever posts their thigh measurements and that's the one I care about the most. Help me I'm pear shaped WAAHHHHHH 😭
We can also discuss how we make them smaller or whateves. I'm just all about the thighs. My goal weight is really just a goal measurement
[Discussion] Does anyone else not remember or forget they are bingeing?
/u/CoffeeBonez
Created: Fri Oct 19 05:53:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pj3lg/does_anyone_else_not_remember_or_forget_they_are/
---
Like, I'll have a plan to do OMAD, I'll do good until midday, where I plan to go home for 'lunch' and have a black coffee or tea.
Then before I know it, I'm clearing away crisp wrappers, yoghurt pots, malteser wrappers and an empty cereal box. It's over so quickly that I wonder how I even enjoyed it, if I just did it on autopilot.
[Help] Fasting plateau
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Fri Oct 19 05:46:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pj1zc/fasting_plateau/
---
I’m over 24 hours into a fast and nothing has changed. My weight is the same. I’m salty. Maybe it’ll be different tomorrow, idk. Knowing my luck probably not. How can I break that plateau.
[Discussion] Any other struggling migraine sufferers in the crowd?
/u/rocksnowls
Created: Fri Oct 19 05:01:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pird6/any_other_struggling_migraine_sufferers_in_the/
---
I'm going through a spell of migraines atm and usually it's easy for me to not eat while suffering from a migraine--but lately i've been at work when the pain strikes and i start to panic. I work ~9 hour shifts and don't have the proper medication to treat the pain. When it comes time for my lunch break, I instinctively gorge on food in an illogical attempt to somehow stop the searing pain in my head. I don't know how to handle restricting through a migraine while at work. I feel like I'm losing my mind;'i've had killer migraines every day so far this week and stupid pain-induced binges have accompanied every one
Just kill me pls :)
[Other] Body measurement spreadsheet ~color coded!
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Fri Oct 19 04:34:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pilay/body_measurement_spreadsheet_color_coded/
---
This has popped up on the loseit sub before but I thought I would post it here for anyone interested. It's a body measurement tracker that keeps totals for inches lost and gives you a pie chart to visualize where your body gains/loses weight. It's been really useful for me to get an idea of my progress when I'm struggling with the scale. It's also color-coded, which calms my soul:)
Here's the [link](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1a0n1ITjGbvdvBgac8Ua1xbANRB6LIBiVYE-K9m-P_Kg/template/preview?usp=drive_web&ouid=%7BuserId%7D)\- let me know if you have any trouble opening it!
So my therapist asked about ED behaviours and I opened up for the first time as an adult
/u/COOKIE_PRINCESS [4'10" | 🍪 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 04:19:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9piib0/so_my_therapist_asked_about_ed_behaviours_and_i/
---
I started seeing this woman a few weeks ago and I started with the intention of speaking about things and being open about everything, but actually only talked about other issues with anxiety so far. Completely unprompted she mentioned in my last session that she'd noticed I was very thin and pale and did I have any problems with eating and such..
I guess I finally feel like it's a real thing again that someone else can see and has noticed without my talking about it. But I also just feel so scared now. mostly because she seemed so genuinely scared and worried about me as I answered her questions and I realised that maybe my situation is a bigger deal than I'd thought since I've been plateauing for a while.
She said that she did want to contact my gp and inform them of everything but that she will give me a couple of weeks to talk about things and to work out how I feel. This is actually what I was most scared about in opening up. Everyone starts panicking and I lose all control. Hopefully it's different being an adult this time.
[Other] AM DRUNK. WANNA CHAT.
/u/existing--
Created: Fri Oct 19 04:03:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9piexi/am_drunk_wanna_chat/
---
Hellooooo I am drunk AF (but still under my calories so far - winning).
Anyway. I am a mess but I am bored and a bit sad lol so if anyone wants to chat I am here to offer (probably) terrible advice 🤷♀️. I am over 25 and my life is a mess but hi hello I am a fucked up bulimic alcoholic. Let’s talk 😂
[Rant/Rave] So Tired of This Shit - Warning: Whining
/u/_Pulltab_ [5'7"| CW 158.6| 24.8| F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 03:45:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pib5b/so_tired_of_this_shit_warning_whining/
---
I just want to vent for a minute. Since May I have been on some sort of kamikaze mission and have become so obsessed with food, what types of food, how much food, and the scale that it’s noticeably taken over my life. On the up side, I’ve lost 40+ pounds. On the downside, I can’t take the way our bodies fuck with us on the regular.
I have been eating waaaaaay less than my TDEE for months. 6 weeks ago I really started hitting the gym again and upped my calories slightly so I could manage the workouts. But most days I’m still under 1000. I am vegetarian and mostly stay keto because I’ve developed this weird aversion to carbs. So whole, healthy plant foods 99% of the time.
I know that weight will fluctuate, and I know that if you have a higher carb day you will blow up with water, and I know that my period, which is getting sketchy either because of my diet or because I’m getting old, could be coming, but dammit, I should not be up 2 1/2 pounds this week. It is not possible according to any natural laws of physics.
And yet, here I am, feeling like a piece of shit who will never reach her goal and is probably just going to gain everything back. I go back and look at my loss over the last 6 months and can see that, realistically, nothing super weird is happening that hasn’t happened before but I still can’t stop it from taking over my thoughts. Oh, and it’s our anniversary and we’re going away for the weekend and I don’t even know how I’m going to enjoy myself without constantly worrying about how much I’ll weigh when we get back.
[Rant/Rave] Fasting for nothing?
/u/conspiretoignite [5'5.5" | cw:98lbs | 15.9 | ugw:85lbs | 17f]
Created: Fri Oct 19 03:25:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pi79v/fasting_for_nothing/
---
I had a weigh in at my first appt with ED services last week and it showed I had gained 4lbs since my last weigh in. I was destroyed so I decided to do a bunch of fasts in a row: 24hrs, 100cal OMAD, 48hrs, 100cal OMAD, 60hrs, 200cal OMAD, 24rs. All while doing 15,000+ steps a day. Then yesterday I went out with friends and I ate <400cal and had 3 vodka shots and a monster zero.
I weighed in at the doctors again today and it showed I had gained another 2lbs since last week???
I am so upset I don’t know what to do. I should be back at my low weight but instead I am fatter than ever. I guess I should just resign myself to the fact that I am just gonna be a flabby sack of rolls forever and will never be 84lbs. At least then I can eat rather than fasting for nothing.
[Rant/Rave] triggered by bf’s mum
/u/zeneith [5'7 | CW 147.7 | BMI 22.6 | SW 211.6| UGW 110]
Created: Fri Oct 19 03:21:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pi6e3/triggered_by_bfs_mum/
---
we were leaving and i bent down to tie my shoelaces, presumably with my fat rolls on show. she casually said “i used to be fatter than you when i was around your age”
my ed filled mind goes haywire, thinking she’s calling me fat.. now im so triggered i don’t wanna eat anymore :( plus she saw my HW pictures. damn it. am i being too sensitive? i dont know how to stop these thoughts...
My ED is so expensive and I hate it
/u/VoiceOfAsh
Created: Fri Oct 19 02:23:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9phv2k/my_ed_is_so_expensive_and_i_hate_it/
---
I buy healthy foods to binge on. I don’t eat them. I’ll eat a million crackers instead while hating myself and wishing I could stop. The food goes bad, I have to throw it away, I feel bad for wasting food. Repeat a million times a month.
I buy “bad” binge food. I hate myself. I give it to my roommate and family to get rid of the temptation. But I’ll end up walking to the convenience store to buy binge food anyway.
I tried halo top recently. I wasn’t able to eat it in one sitting and I actually felt satisfied and full. That was a good feeling. I haven’t felt that feeling in years. But it’s so expensive.
I hate that my life revolves around food.
[Rant/Rave] moment that made me realise..
/u/glossipgirl [5"2 | 107.8 | 20.4 | -6.6 | 15f]
Created: Fri Oct 19 02:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9phtzx/moment_that_made_me_realise/
---
mildly clickbait-y title?? oof sorry y'all
so anyway, fridays are donut day at my school cafeteria. i was so!! excited!!! i told myself, yeah just skip brekkie and snack and have a donut for lunch (literally impossible to miss dinner but i was gonna exercise it off).
i was sooo hungry but i stuck it out through geography, english and sport just thinking of that fucking heavenly chocolate donut with the rainbow sprinkles.
but DISASTER STRUCK. \*cue thunder and melodramatic horror movie screams\* my friends were all sticking around at the sports hall for lunchtime sport. i was like, yeah sure! don't want to spend lunch alone!!
B I G M I S T A K E Y O U I D I O T.
i had to go straight to environment club afterwards and couldn't get to the caf until end of lunch and all the donuts were gone! so i thought, that's ok i'll have rice paper rolls! healthy and yum! BUT NO. everything was gone EXCEPT sushi, ice cream, pasta and other junky foods.
my dumb ass coulda gotten yogurt or something relatively ok right? of course not! i am a fat idiot!!! i had to get a choc chip cookie!!!! 330 calories y'all!!!!! i hate myself so much!!!!!!!
anyway that's whining time with sophie, see y'all like tomorrow to hear how i fuck up next :)))))
I'm doing an inarguably bad thing because ED
/u/FreezePeach1488
Created: Fri Oct 19 01:21:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9phiy0/im_doing_an_inarguably_bad_thing_because_ed/
---
So I was referred to this psych by a counsellor I used to see for non-ED reasons. Feeling that my non-ED reason was rather dire, I honestly mentioned my ED behaviour just in case it were important information for the current issue. I could have easily lied because my counsellor and this doc won't be in contact because my counsellor is on an extended hiatus due to personal reasons on her part and hiding an ED is laughably easy to do in my region as long as your BMI isn't 13 or something. But I didn't, so well done, me!
Everything was fine and dandy while he and I did the whole first visit to shrink shtick. Then I was told to leave and the closest approximation I have to a caregiver was called in for a little chat. Said caregiver returned with a new prescription for me. That's where things went south.
Without naming the stuff prescribed, I noticed that one of the meds sounded familiar...in a bad way. I half-suspected that it might turn out to be a certain pill that is notorious for making people gain weight. I had also noticed that I was instructed to taper off taking a medicine that I legitimately need buuuuut it's quite the appetite suppressant. I still bought the new med in good faith.
Came home, quick google search confirmed my worst fears. Furthermore, I was livid that the sneaky sod had gone out of his way to prescribe it under a less well-known brand name. I see what you did there and all that.
Since then I have knowingly and willingly indulged in a large dose of patient non-compliance and simply ignored most of the prescription. A lot of people do that for various reasons, still prolly not a good idea but okay.
The real bad thing is that I have no intention of bringing this thing up the next time I have to see him because he works at a place almost exclusively intended for in-patient stays for psychiatric reasons and I have no desire to risk the possibility of them giving unwanted attention to my ED. From the looks of thinks, they have a specialist for everything so the odds of them having an ED specialist are quite high.
I think I'm going to have to downplay my original reason for going there because I just don't trust most of the mental health profession to not try to force me into a recovery I'm not ready for yet. But I know that the morality of my intended behaviour is unquestionably bad.
TL;DR I'm playing with my own health and safety by not complying with a prescription that includes a med known to cause weight gain and going to lie to a person who I ought not to lie to.
Thanks for reading my novella. Anyone else done something similarly sick? Who am I kidding of course you have! Share away if you feel like it.
SO appreciation post
/u/crookedlypoetic [5'7" | 196.8 | 30.? | 78.2 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 19 01:21:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9phiwb/so_appreciation_post/
---
Can I just take a minute here to gush a bit? My fiance, bless his soul is my biggest support and my best fan. Even when I had my relapse breakdown two weeks ago he held me while I blubbered drunkenly (I have not drank like that since, it was awful). He has always had my back no matter what and even now is my gentle reminder of the goals I set for myself and my voice of reason if I am going too far.
Anyone else have a fantastic SO they wanna brag about?
[Rant/Rave] “You shouldn’t eat that”
/u/LoveAnonymousAnon
Created: Fri Oct 19 00:46:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9phbwd/you_shouldnt_eat_that/
---
So, I just got done eating fast food. All I can think about after I eat is how I shouldn’t have done that, how wrong I am, and how I messed up. I hate the guilty feeling I get after I eat but I love eating....
If I didn’t eat so god damn much I’d be beautiful. No one thinks I’m beautiful enough to actually make it known. I have sex, a lot of it, but I only have it so I can feel wanted. Even if it’s just for a few seconds someone wants me and doesn’t find me repulsive.
I hate it whenever I’m talking to someone because I automatically know they’ll never want to do anything with me outside of sex and hanging out. I can be the nicest, sweetest and most kind person but none of it matters until I’m thin. No one will ever love me until I’m thin. I’m a fucking ugly monster.
(You meaning the guy I’m talking to now)
You can lie to me and call me cute, beautiful or adorable all you want but I know what I truly am and what you think of me after my clothes come back on. You tell me how you don’t just use me for sex but that’s all I’m good for. You tell me how you appreciate our friendship but I don’t even believe that. Why would you? I’m not good enough. I’m never good enough. I won’t be good enough for anyone until I’m thin.
Why can’t I be fucking thin why do I have to eat
[Discussion] DAE get a liiiiittle crazy when they're too skinny?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'2" | 81lbs | BMI: 15-something | -?lbs| f]
Created: Fri Oct 19 00:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ph86u/dae_get_a_liiiiittle_crazy_when_theyre_too_skinny/
---
I've noticed, in my years of yo-yoing body size, that I tend to get very, very emotional when I'm thinner (BMI below 16ish). I get very obsessive, very fearful, very dramatic, and very, very immature (like, i'll spend all day curled up in bed with stuffed animals and a coloring book).
Just today I have had debilitating fits of sobbing and despairing because i misplaced my fishnets, dropped a spoon, and my glasses keep falling off.
I also tend to get very confrontational/aggressive.
It's one of the most troubling side effects I've experienced I just don't know if anyone else does, too.
Everything was going great this week but then I binged today.
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:127|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Fri Oct 19 00:12:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ph4zt/everything_was_going_great_this_week_but_then_i/
---
Now my average for the last 3 days is maintenance. What a waste of a fast. I don't know why I binged today. I knew I was bingeing, I knew I could stop, I just... didn't want to...
[Rant/Rave] I was 78 days purge-free until today. F**k ice-cream.
/u/frankxcastle
Created: Thu Oct 18 23:30:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgwl5/i_was_78_days_purgefree_until_today_fk_icecream/
---
78 days. I was so, so proud of myself for lasting so long. I truly believed I would never purge again. I had promised myself if I binged, I would have to accept the calories. And until today, I did. Doing this had helped me stay in control of my diet for the first time in years. I was counting calories, keeping between 900/1200 most days (and binging 3000+ around once a week). And I was losing weight.
​
Today I woke up still feeling in control. I had a pint of ice-cream in my freezer that I had been slowly eating over two weeks. Half of it was left. I was planning on having about 100 calories worth of it, but then my mind screwed me over. I ate the rest of the tub. F\*\*k ice-cream. It's honestly like the f\*\*kboi of foods. Then I had 10 peanut butter cups. F\*\*k peanut butter too.
​
I was going to accept the calories from the binge like I had done in the past, but this binge felt different because of the ice-cream. The easiest food to purge because it doesn't even hurt. I was home alone. It would only take a couple of minutes to get it out of me, like it never happened. I would stay on track for my daily weight loss. So I did it. It was so quick, so easy. Just like the old days.
​
I don't know what to do. My ED manifests itself in different ways, but I believed purging side of things was the one thing I had conquered. I guess not. I want this to be the last time it happens, but it was too easy. Irresistibly easy.
[Rant/Rave] I just paid extra money so I could get my new smart scale a day earlier
/u/ActualLakeOfDietCoke [5'4" | CW: 132 | GW1: 120 |GW2:110| UGW: 100]
Created: Thu Oct 18 23:29:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgwfl/i_just_paid_extra_money_so_i_could_get_my_new/
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I've been obsessed with the idea of getting one for a couple of weeks now. I know those rhings are not super accurate at measuring bf and muscle % but they are pretty decent at measuring changes in you body compostition if you weigh in at the same time and under the same circumstances. Not to mention I'll get some extra numbers to be obsessed about.
So I paid extra for express delivery instead of picking up that scale for free at a nearby store. A store that is located in five minutes walk. Which is super dumb and I know it.
I also intend to fast until the delivery just so I could weigh myself immediately. Which is even more dumb and I also know it.
I'm an adult. I should be spending my money in better ways. But I'm also really excited for that goddamn scale.
If ya gonna binge dont have burger king
/u/no_friends_no_end [183cm | CW 67kg | LW 60| HW 75| M]
Created: Thu Oct 18 23:28:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgw7p/if_ya_gonna_binge_dont_have_burger_king/
---
Decided to binge because I was pretty suicidal last night. Got a okay sized burger king combo. Hated myself for being a slut to hunger, but at least it tasted good. All was well so I thought
Well I've had explosive diarrhea for the past day, and I shat my pants so fuck you bk
[Rant/Rave] I tried being normal and failed
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Thu Oct 18 23:14:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgt8s/i_tried_being_normal_and_failed/
---
Basically tried going out tonight with friends and just panicked about my body and outfit the whole time... made unnecessary comments to people I barely know about how my body looks awful and how I’m so fat. I definitely made some people uncomfortable and now I’m not sure what to do...
[Rant/Rave] I fracking hate exercise weight
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 23:07:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgrji/i_fracking_hate_exercise_weight/
---
I am STILL waiting to be back under 64 from last weekend's trip where I let myself go. I was 63,8 for three days a week ago. Yesterday I was 64,5 and hoping today Would be the Day I return to safe Numbers. HAHAH NO 65,1. Fucking Body, why?? I was under maintenance yesterday, again. The only reason must be bloat, which can only be from exercising (went swimming). Fuckin' a.
[Rant/Rave] Dear body... where did you put the gift receipt?
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Oct 18 23:00:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgq41/dear_body_where_did_you_put_the_gift_receipt/
---
So i hate my body, no surprise there. But i’ve recently been able to lose 20 pounds, and go figure.... i hate my body more.
I’m a larger lady, always have been with my lowest being 175 and highest being 230 pounds. But i worked myself down from 203 to 183 and i’m lying in bed with my hand on my stomach and think “oh shit, that feels concave!” Victory, right?
Nah. I view myself up and down with my phone camera and not only is my rib cage MASSIVE right along side my huge hips that are jutting out from my fat like the sinking Titanic, but now it’s like i’m wearing a loose sack of soft manure... rolls as far as the eye can see... just melting and pooling and pulling away from my dinosaur rib cage.... fuck...
[Rant/Rave] Fat girl doesn’t find me attractive
/u/Doctordoomduck
Created: Thu Oct 18 22:48:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgnf8/fat_girl_doesnt_find_me_attractive/
---
So I just got back from a trip to visit my online girlfriend of 9 months who it turns out is 50+ pounds heavier than me. It was a shock, but I knew we have a great connection online and I spent all that money on a hotel and plane ticket so I felt like I needed to keep going.
On day three of not even hugging me, much less the thrilling sex I assumed would happen, I asked if she found me attractive. She answered, “I’m just not sure we know each other well enough for that.”
A good response for ‘do you wanna fuck?’
Possibly the worst response for ‘do you think I’m pretty?’
New plan is to lose even more weight and see if someone else would be willing to fuck me after knowing me 9 months.
[Rant/Rave] The scale says I’m in the 120s
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Thu Oct 18 22:09:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pged6/the_scale_says_im_in_the_120s/
---
5ft1 / 19 / SW 158 lbs / CW 127lbs / GW 100lbs I really don’t believe this, I feel entirely bigger than when I began 31 lbs ago.
I’m in a really big state of shock and I honestly though oh it has to be broken. My bf and his mom used it, they said it was accurate and I still didn’t believe them. I just held a 25lbs weight and sure enough it’s right. I’m really confused and maybe those last 3lbs were muscle I’ve let drift away because I still look flabby and nasty but holy shit?????? I literally never thought I would see this day again?
I fucking miss breakfast.
/u/Arc_cake [5'6 | CW: uncomf |GW: small| F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 22:00:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pgcc7/i_fucking_miss_breakfast/
---
Of all the things my disordered eating fucked me up about, breakfast is the thing I miss most. I stopped eating breakfast 8 years ago when the dickhead in my brain told me I should eat less. We've had an on/off relationship for the last few years, but that bitch ass won't give me godamn breakfast back.
I miss hurried toast in the mornings, I miss the smell of cinnamon apple oatmeal, and sugary cereal, fuck just any cereal really. Pancakes with all the toppings, eggs benedict drowned in hollandaise, and those toaster strudels with the pour on icing. Breakfast was my favourite meal of the day, and now I don't even think twice about it.
Anyway, this is mostly just my love letter to "the most important meal of the day". I'm sorry breakfast, please take me back.
Yours truly,
Arc_cake
[Rant/Rave] I’m down 5lb or more in less than a week cause my boyfriend wants to break up. I’m freaking out
/u/caLAfrownia [𝟏𝟔𝟓𝑪𝑴 | 𝟓𝟏.𝟕𝟏𝑲𝑮 | 𝟏𝟖.𝟗𝟕𝑲𝑮 | 𝟏𝟎.𝟒𝟑𝑲𝑮 | 𝑭]
Created: Thu Oct 18 21:45:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pg8pf/im_down_5lb_or_more_in_less_than_a_week_cause_my/
---
I don’t know what to do. Not about my ED or loosing weight .. the fact this awful thing is happening is sickening beneficial to ED .
I’m down 5+ because my boyfriend ( who finally wants to put a label on this after 2 years) calls it off after a month maybe??
His reasoning, is because of “too much stress involving in his life to be able to give full attention to a relationship to make it lasting for our future.”
Backstory being he been best friends since we met and basically dating since then without the label. Last year I tried initiating this but it did not happen and it became a huge situation and fight and we didn’t talk for about half a year. Reconnecting again was no we picked up right where we left off that’s how strong our relationship is but our friendship is exactly like if we arty label or no label.
I live I Los Angeles, him in Denver now summarizing we decided what we been doing is just as if we are dating so for my sanity and comfort we added the label. I left another relationship for him..
Everything was fine since last week when he pulled this excuse.. we already talked about starting our lives together and having a family and getting married. That’s just our comfort and us. We love each other.
So this absolutely came out of no where. Yes over the week prior he because more and more distant but I kept asking him are you ok is everything alright? I trust him completely ( well thought so ) and he insisted everything was fine . When over FaceTime we had this talk I explained he was acting irrational and when I come to Denver ( within a week of him dropping this ) we’d just sometime discuss this and where we are .. he agreed .
So I don’t know whether he’s been spreading he’s single or whatever or not but headgames over social media and not talking for two weeks have REALLY gotten to me.
I have been over working out to distract myself . If I’m not doing that I’m definitely not eating . I’m constantly over analyzing everything I see him say or do on the internet to my best friend
Like I honestly have came to the conclusion he doesn’t even love me anymore over the 2 week mark and is fucking another girl instantly.
I’ve gone from 125-114 in 2 weeks .. I leave for Denver Wednesday and he’s picking me up in the morning .. i have no idea the weight I’ll be by then or what he expects us to be at talking wise . I disabled my Instagram account cause I can’t BARE to keep in my head anymore .
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO OR FEEL.
1. I’m so heart broken
2.im so alone
3. I feel so hated and unlovable
4. I don’t want this weight loss to keep ending
5. Maybe it’s my iud just making me crazy.
AM I CRAZY?!?!?!
What if everything just ends up being fine when I get there?! Like he just casually post stories and shit like “oh the rains gone I’m feeling great!” LIKE FUCK YOU DUDE! That’s me skipping a meal!
What does that even mean!! What do boys mean!!!
I’m so confused guys.
Best fuckin thing ever just happened to me
/u/mars-rover216
Created: Thu Oct 18 21:45:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pg8i7/best_fuckin_thing_ever_just_happened_to_me/
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Oh my GOD I was just hanging out with friends and one of them was going to get snacks, so she asked what I wanted, right? And I was like, nah I'm good, but she was all, no I wanna get you something so she turned to this dude I'm kinda into and was like, have you ever see mars-rover eat? What does she like? And the dude I'm into was all, I don't think I've ever seen her eat tbh. Like oh my God he looked impressed and shit I'm so happy!!!
Tried going eithout my scale for two weeks...never making THAT mistake again.
/u/gnatthebunny
Created: Thu Oct 18 21:44:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pg8ab/tried_going_eithout_my_scale_for_two_weeksnever/
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I'm kinda freaking out here guys. For the past two weeks I haven't weighed myself and I've been trying to "eat intuitively" or what the fuck ever because I'm really trying to get myself to be a little less obsessed with numbers and mentally I felt really good about it until now. I decided to weigh myself and I'm up FIVE FUCKING POUNDS. I thought I was eating at a deficit or at least maintaining but now I feel really awful. I also just started my period so that may have something to do with it but it never makes that big of a difference. I guess tomorrow I'm fasting. Ugh :(
For your sanity, take measurements
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Thu Oct 18 21:42:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pg7tw/for_your_sanity_take_measurements/
---
Just a quick PSA: if you've been relying solely on the scale and not taking measurements, you should be taking measurements. I have been at a plateau weight wise for a hot minute, but then I decided to take measurements and I lost 1.5 inches from my waist in that time!!! I've gotten way way more muscular I guess and it's just a wild time. Measurements are your friend!!!!
[Rant/Rave] When fruit ends up becoming a fear food rip
/u/fish110 [5'4"|CW125|GW110|F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 21:23:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pg3ar/when_fruit_ends_up_becoming_a_fear_food_rip/
---
AAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhh. I love fruit. Really tasty, sweet, lots of variety, lots of vitamins. healthy. But asdfghjkl cuz it tastes so good that I do fruit binges. I buy groceries on the weekends, and buy a lot of fruit. In the summer it's usually apples, grapes, strawberries, watermelon, bananas, peaches, and more. Then I go home, taste the tasty tastiness, and eat it all before monday. ahgghhhhhh so annoying. There is so much sugar and I bloat like no tomorrow. Luckily, I have no problems going to the bathroom for the rest of the week ;)
[Rant/Rave] What a fucking waste
/u/fuckminicinabons
Created: Thu Oct 18 21:00:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfxkl/what_a_fucking_waste/
---
I did so good today fasted all day & decided hey Cinnabon sounds bomb. (Fuck period cravings) & ate 800 cal worth of SWEETS. Not protein or anything useful to my body. Nope fucking sugar. The only reason I ate the full thing was bc I could just purge it later haha WRONG NOTHING CAME UP. so now here I am paranoid as shit bc i hate myself for eating 800 cals and I couldn’t even get anything up. I have swollen jaw and a massive headache FOR NOTHING.
I’m not gonna gain that’s what I thought was most important. I’m still going to lose weight today but fuck ED’s and FUCK ED thoughts
[Rant/Rave] TIFU by ingesting 75 grams of sugar alcohols...
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Thu Oct 18 20:48:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfugv/tifu_by_ingesting_75_grams_of_sugar_alcohols/
---
I started as a planned mini-binge. Six small packs of sugar free jelly candy for a high restriction day. But I'm not stupid so I made sure to pre-calculate the amount of sugar alcohols I would be ingesting: 25g. Not too bad. Upper limit is 20-30 and I'm no stranger to sugar alcohols so I figured I would be just fine.
Only problem: the nutrition labels weren't in English and I failed to notice that the sugar alcohols listed were per 3 jelly serving. 6 packs x 3 servings/pack= **75g of sugar alcohols**.
What followed was some of the worst diarrhea of my life followed by almost equally horrendous stomach cramping.
I'm currently lying in the fetal position and nursing some fennel tea, hoping the charcoal tabs will relieve some of the pain. God help me, I haven't fucked up this bad in years.
On the upside, I did properly calculate the calories so at least I won't gain. But the moral of the story is: TRIPLE CHECK when it comes to sugar alcohols. It's just not worth it.
[Help] Help, fasting hurts today
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Oct 18 20:36:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfrn6/help_fasting_hurts_today/
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Today is day five of my not fast fast (i say that cause i put natural crystalized honey in my tea and a lot of hardcore fasters feel that defeats the purpose.) Anywho! Yesterday was great, felt physically good and had some energy, but today i woke up with a killer headache and been fighting acid stomach and holding back barfing all day... what’s going on? How do i fix this without eating? I have two more days left on this planned fast that I don’t want to ruin 😓
When u order binge food on Postmates and the delivery guy is super cute.... I’m so sorry you have to see me like this 😓
/u/mks_993 [5'6 | 129 | 20.8 | 24F | UGW: 105]
Created: Thu Oct 18 20:24:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfoj1/when_u_order_binge_food_on_postmates_and_the/
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And this is exactly why I am single.
Success at a club meeting!!!!!!
/u/catalystrose [5'2" | 111 | F | cataylstrose 🍑]
Created: Thu Oct 18 20:05:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfjv9/success_at_a_club_meeting/
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I had a club meeting at college today, and these meetings almost always have food that is being catered from some unhealthy place. I started skipping like all of them unless I was sure there was no food because I would just eat everything that was there and then go for seconds (free food, duh).
Today was the first time I had total control! I had one small fried chicken tender and two french fries, then pawned the rest of the food off to my friends around me!!! I stayed under 250 calories for sure, and enjoyed myself by hanging out with people I haven't seen in a while due to annoying issues with food.
I feel like I at least have some sort of occasional control around free food again, so hopefully I can go to more meetings. I had a nice healthy meal after coming back, and treated myself to some 75 cal hot chocolate w/ whipped cream! Still under my goal for the day.
Just wanted to share with someone :) Hope y'all are having a wonderful day! Add me on peach @catalystrose to chat if you want, I love talking to people and have been feeling a little lonely and down the past few weeks due to not going out as much.
[Rant/Rave] people who lie (kind of?) about having an ED oh my GOD
/u/kenziixoxo [5'5" | CW: 133.8 | BMI: 22.3 | GW: 115 | UGW: 99]
Created: Thu Oct 18 20:05:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfjoe/people_who_lie_kind_of_about_having_an_ed_oh_my/
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I lie about having an ED like, every other day, but I have a very close friend who like.... lies on another level .... and it drives me InSaNe
She constantly posts on social media how she’s always eating SOOOO much, like she posts pics of like bags of Taco Bell and chips and chocolate bars and shit - she’ll post stuff and be like OMG you GUYS honestly I eat fast food every night lol this is just naturally how my body is, I never diet or watch what I’m eating I eat mcdonalds and Taco Bell EVERY DAY and I NEVER EVER exercise I’m SUCH a couch potato this is just my body type!!
the chick is like 5 foot 9 and weighs 110 and she’s a professional model and shit
I knew her back in high school and first of, this girl has a medium to large frame and used to weigh like 160 so NO this isn’t your “natural” body
and now that we’re closer I’ve gone on a few 3 day to 2 week vacations with her and SHE NEVER EATS. straight up she buys SO MUCH food and takes fifty pics of it for social media and then makes some excuse like ‘oh I’m full’ or whatever. Or she does chew and spit. The most I’ve seen her eat was when we were on the two week trip together and she ate like three slices of pineapple and like two salads without dressing.
like girl I’m anorexic too so I’m not judging but it pisses me off because she has like 50k+ followers on Instagram and a lot of them are younger girlies who honest to god think that a BMI of 16 is ‘just how somebody’s body is’ who eats junk food 3x a day ughhhhhh
I feel bad because she’s so disordered too but idk it still pisses me off
First time posting here, probably more appropriate than twitter
/u/shhmericaa
Created: Thu Oct 18 20:02:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfj3g/first_time_posting_here_probably_more_appropriate/
---
Hi,
I just wanted to share some thoughts and feelings I'm having. I honestly usually spill these things to Twitter (not much feedback lol) or someone who knows what I'm going through, but I don't think those outlets are very appropriate. I've been following this sub for a while, but my eating and weight have been under control so I haven't felt compelled to post til now.
So, I've been intermittent fasting and it has helped my binge eating tremendously. I'm very proud of that! But, it hasn't changed my relationship with food. I still have fears, get extremely anxious, obsess, plan entirely around eating, over- and under- compensate, all the fun stuff.
Tonight, I just wanted to share that today, I had a fairly low-cal day. I was sedentary for studying. I was home and ate in small increments steadily throughout the day. I had lots of oil and a whole giant avocado in order to pack in fats. I had a salad at 6pm and wanted to start my fast then. That's the hour that I feel best starting. However, it's a special week at work, so the company bought us milkshakes. I can't deny free ice cream...so I told myself I'd indulge in a few sips and then take it home. I was confident! But....guys....milkshakes are amazing and blessed.
I finished the whole thing in half an hour. Way before my coworkers. I surprisingly feel okay physically (though the repercussions are coming, this I know), and the phenomenon of ice cream is that I usually am more happy that it happened than upset. So I am grateful for that right now. I will adjust my fasting time and eat later than normal tomorrow. I plan on exercising, as I am normally quite sedentary.
Sorry to ramble.
But basically, here's what freaks me out:
Roughly calculated, I've consumed about 2,000 calories today. The last of it being in sugary ice cream form, late in the day.
I really can't be entirely okay with this unless I share it with someone (or some entity - the internet!).
So, I've probably just said a whole lotta nothing. But if you've read this far, thanks!! Would love to hear how everyone's day of eating was, what's on your mind, any struggles in particular, any victories...
Thanks again :)
[Discussion] I’ve hardly eaten in the past two days and feel... oddly okay?
/u/hazelnut___ [5'9 | SW:158 | CW:151 | GW:135 | f22]
Created: Thu Oct 18 20:01:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfivk/ive_hardly_eaten_in_the_past_two_days_and_feel/
---
To preface I’m a binger and have a really unhealthy relationship with food (duh). I’m usually itching to eat.
I’m kind of freaked out to be honest. I started fasting on Tuesday around 8 and didn’t eat until 10-ish the next day. It wasn’t a binge, just unhealthy food with friends. I woke up today feeling gross (as you do after eating at night) and didn’t eat anything until around 6. All I had was a cup of skim milk, 3 cherry tomatoes, some cauliflower stocks, and an apple, about 220 which I then burned off at the gym. So I’ve pretty much eaten around 1000 calories in the past 48 hours and I feel okay about it, not too light headed and not going crazy to eat. It feels amazing but too good to be true, I’m worried I’m going to pay for this with a huge binge or like the moment I start eating normally again all the weight is going to come back on.
I don’t really know why I’m posting this, sorry for clogging up the sub, I’m just curious if anyone else has kind of fallen into a weird pattern like this.
DAE feel that no matter what type of clothes they buy they never look good?
/u/PikachuQueen
Created: Thu Oct 18 19:48:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pffeo/dae_feel_that_no_matter_what_type_of_clothes_they/
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I feel like I look horrible in EVERYTHING!!! (Keep in mind I’m in recovery)
I’ve gained some weight and tried to get some warm clothes for this cold weather. My brother in law said I looked really good in these thermal leggings, sweaters, etc. But all I saw was back fat, protruding belly, stick legs..... I feel like no matter the style; right or loose, pants or dress.... I just look idk frumpy??? Like it’s not good for my body type???
Ugh fuck me
Saw this at the Picasso “blue period” exhibit at Musée d’Orsay and it really hit me. No not in that how shocking let’s recover way but in like wow I wish I looked like that kind of way. Being sick is so disturbing.
/u/Ohshitaghost
Created: Thu Oct 18 19:41:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pfdjl/saw_this_at_the_picasso_blue_period_exhibit_at/
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https://i.redd.it/7jusofh8r1t11.jpg
[Other] i like to take flattering pictures of my hands whenever i feel like i’m not making progress and need a confidence boost
/u/lardizebra
Created: Thu Oct 18 19:24:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pf9go/i_like_to_take_flattering_pictures_of_my_hands/
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https://i.redd.it/vzcdae0co1t11.jpg
[Help] E/C stacks, okay with 20 mg Vyvanse?
/u/NutelllaBellla [5' 3.5"|CW: 135.5 | BMI: 23.8 | -38| F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 19:17:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pf7kq/ec_stacks_okay_with_20_mg_vyvanse/
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Guys, I've always wanted to try ec stacks but I take 20 mg Vyvanse. I've recently hit a wall and need more shit to keep me energized. Have any of you stacked with vyvanse as well? Is it okay to do?
Anyone gain weight on anti-depressants?
/u/Literally_a_Gorilla [Weight Lost: 60 lb | 24 F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 18:55:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pf21a/anyone_gain_weight_on_antidepressants/
---
I was doing fine on Wellbutrin. I was doing GREAT. But my psychiatrist took me off it because of "weight concerns" and switched me to Lexapro...
I canNOT. STOP. BINGEING. I've gained 10-15 pounds in three weeks. I'm feeling really damn sad.
[Rant/Rave] Exercise is like. So hard.
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 18:45:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pezjy/exercise_is_like_so_hard/
---
I’m trying to exercise again and I forgot how difficult it was. I’ve never been really fit. I tried personal training earlier this year but then got really really sick and had to quit, but I’m restarting tomorrow and I went to the gym tonight.
It just like. Feels like I’m dying when I exercise. I don’t know if it’s one of my many exercise-intolerant chronic illnesses or just because I’m horribly unfit, but yeah. I found myself thinking, how come I can slice an inch deep into my skin with a razor or go days without eating easily but can’t handle more than 15 minutes on a treadmill?! And not even running?!
I’m trying to comfort myself that it’s not pain I can’t handle, it’s just a different type. It’s not as if I started out slicing an inch deep; I built up to it over time. In the same way, I can build up to tolerating the pain of exercise.
And I know all health/fitness people would think that’s a shit comparison, but it honestly truly IS more painful for me to exercise than to experience wounds or starvation. Idk why, but it is. But I know I can build up a greater tolerance to it, just like I did with other things.
[Intro] I purged for the first time
/u/YWHAGWGNWY
Created: Thu Oct 18 18:37:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pexm4/i_purged_for_the_first_time/
---
I’ve suffered with anx for the last two years on and off, some weeks I wouldn’t look at food and others I would... a lot.
Tonight, I was talking with friends about my future and about how I dropped out of university because it wasn’t the career path for me and a bunch of other personal issues and how I basically have no control over my life. I came home crying and ate, afterwards I felt sick and was crying worse so I went outside and sat on my swinging chair.
I pushed my fingers into my throat and was gagging and salivating all over the floor for a minute and then I was sick. My food came up. I’d tried so many times before In the past and it never worked.
I don’t want to purge, I disliked it...however the euphoria of control and calmness that came over me was unreal. I’d never felt less guilty before after eating.
I don’t want to do it again, but now that I know that I can, it’ll be incentive not to eat because if I do I’ll just purge it back up.
Lesson learned: it’s okay to accept a little defeat
/u/Gnarlyjtw
Created: Thu Oct 18 18:28:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pevbl/lesson_learned_its_okay_to_accept_a_little_defeat/
---
I’ve been low restricting for the past 3 days and I’m almost down 4 pounds. I’m trying to break into the 130’s. My dad and his gf decided to get pizza for dinner (my kryptonite.. I can suck down pizza like it’s water), and they offer over and over to buy some for me. I refused! I had multiple opportunities to change my mind, and I didn’t! That’s a fucking feat in itself, I NEVER refuse free food. My dad got a small pizza (he left half 😑), I sulked to my room to have a quest bar for my 1 meal. Hours later I’m feeling awful and I want to binge and so fucking hungry but I compromised and instead of mowing down half a pizza, I made a peanut butter sandwich which put me at 500cals for the day. Way more satisfying than 1400 for some shitty fucking pizza. I accept this small defeat in exchange for a lesser evil, and I can’t wait until I’m in the 130 club 🤗
[Other] This was cute... and then it made me realize this is how I am.
/u/SushiUschi
Created: Thu Oct 18 18:07:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pepoo/this_was_cute_and_then_it_made_me_realize_this_is/
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https://gfycat.com/AlienatedThisArawana
[Tip] PSA Canadians just found these
/u/gothicapples
Created: Thu Oct 18 18:06:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pepd5/psa_canadians_just_found_these/
---
https://i.redd.it/u7fy2wwaa1t11.jpg
[Help] Fav things at Trader Joe’s??
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Thu Oct 18 18:03:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9peoo9/fav_things_at_trader_joes/
---
Sorry if this is a repeat post, but I’m about to go to Trader Joe’s and I’d love some recommendations! 😁
Every. Single. Day.
/u/cutetinytroll
Created: Thu Oct 18 17:54:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pemdo/every_single_day/
---
Weighing yourself before you sleep and looking at your weight and thinking ABOUT everything you could have done differently and could have gone without that day ... me all the time
[Discussion] I was a little bored today, so I plotted age vs. BMI for people who responded to the survey a couple weeks ago
/u/kalianda [5'4" | CW size 28 jeans | GW loose size 27 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 17:39:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9peibx/i_was_a_little_bored_today_so_i_plotted_age_vs/
---
https://i.redd.it/nff58ksl51t11.png
Age vs BMI for ProED Survey Respondents
/u/kalianda [5'4" | CW size 28 jeans | GW loose size 27 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 17:36:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9peha8/age_vs_bmi_for_proed_survey_respondents/
---
I was a little bored today, so I plotted age vs. BMI for people who responded to this survey a couple weeks ago: [https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9kkclr/rproed\_survey\_summary\_results/](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9kkclr/rproed_survey_summary_results/)
I left out 2 respondents (one who said their weight was 0, and one who said their weight was 1233 - but everyone else who responded is in the chart.
I think maybe it would help some people feel more welcome here if they understand that we have such a wide range of ages and BMIs. I know I sometimes feel like I "weigh too much to justify being here" and I'm sure others feel the same but really it's not the case, we're all very diverse.
BTW, that light blue sloping line is a "trend line" feature in Excel - not sure how that's calculated but maybe someone will know. I just checked the trend line box and it showed up, so idk :)
[Rant/Rave] Just had a terrible binge, tried to talk to my BF about it because he wanted me to be open with him, and he was just so insensitive
/u/malificentbeauty [5'2.5 | SW 150 | GW 110 | -9 | 21F ]
Created: Thu Oct 18 17:35:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9peh55/just_had_a_terrible_binge_tried_to_talk_to_my_bf/
---
So tonight after a few flawless days I binged. And I binged a lot. Over 3,000 calories gone in under ten minutes. Like I wasn’t even thinking about it it was just like I had robot brain and just did everything on autopilot. So I felt like shit and I was contemplating purging and didn’t so now I just feel shitty and miserable and I’m starting therapy next week to deal with this but I hadn’t really had a concrete reason to give my BF until now.
And so I texted him (long distance) how it felt to do this and for no reason at all just because I could and feeling so badly about myself because of it and he texts back saying I can call him. So I do and I tell him about my day and then make a comment about this binge and he just says nothing. And then he’s like, “do you want to talk about it?” And I was kinda like I already told you everything I’m feeling about this when I texted you and then he’s like “well can I change the subject? I don’t have to but can i?” And I’m like sure fine and so he does and it’s like could you BE any more insensitive??
I open myself to you because you wanted me to be more open and this is what I get. Fuck that. I will never breathe a word of this to him again.
[Other] I’ve been slipped back and I just need to vent :(
/u/sicsicsickkk
Created: Thu Oct 18 17:34:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pegv4/ive_been_slipped_back_and_i_just_need_to_vent/
---
I’ve been struggling a lot in life right now. I just really need to vent. Idc if this gets downvoted because it’s going to be so long. I just don’t have anyone to talk to about this because I don’t want my friend to worry about me because I just need this control for myself and my sanity.
I’m in my early 20s and I’ve dealt with eating disorders, specifically anorexia and bulimia in and off since I was 11. I would just not eat when I was 11 and I remember purging for the first time when I was 12 and I wasn’t that bad for a while, just skipped lunch everyday and stuff. I got super super bad when I was 16 with purging and I got extremely skinny and had terrible depression and anxiety and my disorders helped comfort me. I was almost admitted to a ward when I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt and I started seeking treatment with a psychiatrist.
Fast forward to when I’m 18-19 and going through some really difficult times with a mentally and physically abusive boyfriend and other really mentally and emotionally straining and issues with myself and my family. I was really bad with drugs and I got to my lowest weight. I loved how skinny I was. I was 22 lbs lighter than I am now and I was so happy. I was restricting like crazy and purging when I ate, and I also abused my prescribed stimulants to help me stop eating so much.
But then I found happiness. My current boyfriend and I got together when I was at basically the lowest point in my life and his concern for my health and caring nature really transformed my life. Within 4 months of being together, I stopped restricting and I completely stopped purging and it’s been 4 years and it’s like I’ve found my soulmate. I can’t wait for our future.
Recently I was taken off my ADHD medication because my doctors said I’ve been on it for too long and that I should be okay without it. I am okay I guess, I don’t have suicidal thoughts or want to harm myself, but because I stopped taking a stimulant, my weight has been going up, I’m still under 120 but I’m close to going over it and it’s driving me crazy. I was so happy with being around 105-110, I didn’t hate myself. I’ve been in such a weird mental state recently and I’ve really started relapsing. I just want to be thin again. I’m trying so hard in school and I’m getting such poor exam results, it’s like I hate myself I don’t deserve to eat. I just want something in my life that I can control again. And I want to be thin. It’s almost like I have this mindset of “if I’m not eating and hungry, I’ll do better in school and have more control over my life.”
I’ve been restricting and fasting, and I even purged twice. I’m really scared that my bf will figure out I’m purging so I’m going to do my best to stop before it gets bad. I just hate bingeing. It makes me feel so horrible and I know how easy it is purge. Guess old habits don’t really die??
I just ate like literally 1000 calories of lime flaming hot cheetos and I feel so terrible, I was doing well with restricting for today. This has triggered a mental break down and hence why I’m here spilling my life out to everyone here :(
I’m sorry for the long post. It’s not like any of this really matters..
[Rant/Rave] Rant: My 2nd trip to the dentist in 2 days
/u/ciggiesandcabbage [5'1| CW: 88lbs | 16.4| -25lbs | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 17:07:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pe9ld/rant_my_2nd_trip_to_the_dentist_in_2_days/
---
I haven't been to the dentist in over a year because my insurance lapsed. I am on Medicaid because my family is poor but we had trouble with some financial documentation and I just got it back. I went to the dentist today and it turns out I have 10 cavities. The dentist said it's from drinking so much diet coke, but I'm worried I'm nutrient deficient as well and that's causing tooth decay. I also have raised horizontal lines on my fingernails and I'm not sure if they're Beau's lines but apparently those are a sign of being nutrient deficient as well.
So now I have to get all of those cavities filled, and I am terrified of the dentist. I cry every time I go and I feel stupid about it and I KNOW my tooth problems probably have something to do with my eating disorder but I can't just STOP. God I wish I could be happy with my body so it would stop breaking down. Sorry if this is incoherent I just don't have anyone to talk to irl about it. Thanks for dealing with my rants, guys...
school dance
/u/httpram
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:55:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pe5vt/school_dance/
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all of my classmates are at a school dance today... in last period i was talking about it with some girls and it sounds like so much fun but i’m always so sad and anxious that i can’t go sober and since i have no friends i don’t really get invited to pre-parties... this boy was being nice to me in that last period too and it felt nice but i know i don’t deserve it. i’m so sad all the time i hate highschool and i just want to be skinny ):
Treatment in Ontario
/u/roboticsandhookers [5'9 | 95 | 14.03 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:51:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pe4u6/treatment_in_ontario/
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This coming Monday is my admission date. I have actually gone through this programs day treatment many years ago. This time round that was not an option so inpatient it is.
After today’s final pre admission appointment I am having huge doubts about trying this program again and seriously regretting not putting myself on more than just this one wait list.
What are your experiences with voluntary adult treatment?
Arms
/u/godsharlotchi1d
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:50:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pe4ii/arms/
---
https://i.redd.it/x0hzyn7qw0t11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] I binged
/u/conuretrash [5'3.5''| 20 F | CW 148 | GW 115| -42 |]
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:34:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pe07x/i_binged/
---
I have a weigh in with a nurse tomorrow (long story but my BMI is 25.7 so I’m overweight). And I just def gained 5lbs water weight and such. It seems lately I can only go around 48 hours fasting then I binge. Idk what happened. Going to fast again for as long as I can.
[Help] My husband is away and I have the house to myself...
/u/snackqueen18 [5’7” | CW 136 | GW ? | F25 |]
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:25:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdxhh/my_husband_is_away_and_i_have_the_house_to_myself/
---
I want to bingeeeeee. I control myself when he is here so he doesn’t see me engaging in (too much) disordered eating but he is gone for two days and I just want to inhale everything. How do you stop yourself from starting a binge? Once I start I won’t stop until I feel sick and hate myself ha.
I dont eat; I feel faint but empowered. I do eat; I feel ill and feel like a failure...
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:15:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pduno/i_dont_eat_i_feel_faint_but_empowered_i_do_eat_i/
---
Neither state feels good.
When im hungry, I feel like im doing it right. Make it keep going and going and i have this almost spiritual energy that craves stomach rumbles. I can hardly move though, im constantly exhausted, i feel like im going to pass out. If i lie i could just drop off to sleep. I look in the mirror and i look like ive flu but psychologically, my clothes feel smaller, my face feels thinner. I may feel physically shit but emotionally, I finally feel like Im winning.
Then I eat, i have my OMAD, i put in my food diary those 4 chips i snuck and make sure to account for everything. My stomach no longer rumbles, i can stand upright and concentrate. However, I feel so disgusted in myself. I wish i never had to eat food.
I eat and I fail.
I said my ultimate goal was 10st (140lbs) and my grandad chimes in saying "you should be looking to be 9st really (126lbs)"
I looked it up and hes right...im actually fucking obese. Like i look at thinspo and before this diet i started telling myself im enough, im sexy and pretty and smart and if any guy i like cant see it then its their issue not mine.
I cant believe I fooled myself so much. Ive taken so many selfies appreciating my body recently but I am actually fucking disgusting. No wonder im not good enough for guys, i cant believe ive been naked infront of them while being this much of a land whale...
I want to cry, im not beautiful yet, i need to try harder. Why cant i just not need food?
Sorry for the rant...
ive had an ed for the past 2 years on and off I purged for the first time tonight
/u/YWHAGWGNWY
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:12:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdtl4/ive_had_an_ed_for_the_past_2_years_on_and_off_i/
---
I’ve suffered with anx for the last two years on and off, some weeks I wouldn’t look at food and others I would... a lot.
Tonight, I was talking with friends about my future and about how I dropped out of university because it wasn’t the career path for me and a bunch of other personal issues and how I basically have no control over my life. I came home crying and ate, afterwards I felt sick and was crying worse so I went outside and sat on my swinging chair.
I pushed my fingers into my throat and was gagging and salivating all over the floor for a minute and then I was sick. My food came up. I’d tried so many times before In the past and it never worked.
I don’t want to purge, I disliked it...however the euphoria of control and calmness that came over me was unreal. I’d never felt less guilty before after eating.
I don’t want to do it again, but now that I know that I can, it’ll be incentive not to eat because if I do I’ll just purge it back up.
NSV: New Clothes Fit!!!
/u/Ineedthinspo [5'6 | 146 | 23.6 | -45 | ]
Created: Thu Oct 18 16:08:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pds9t/nsv_new_clothes_fit/
---
So I ordered some clothes online because I'm applying for new jobs and I couldn't dress in my current work clothes because they don't look as sharp and professional as I want to appear for interviews. I've been pretty nervous since I bought clothes a size smaller than I measured myself to be currently since I'm still losing...
And they fit. Snugly, but I can zip them up and wear them just fine. In January I was a size 12-14... today I fit into a size 4. Not my goal size, but I actually feel good to see that I'm finally back into sizes normal people think are skinny sizes!
[Help] Can binge "stretch" your stomach?
/u/MarxBaekyeol
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:52:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdnju/can_binge_stretch_your_stomach/
---
So I had a binge 2 days ago and it was MASSIVE. I ate entire 40cm diameter pizza (around 16inch) in one sitting and I also ate several granola bars, bag of chips and a lot of fruits (mostly bananas and grapes) that day. I estimate I consumed more than 8000 calories that day. In fact I was so full at the end of a day, that I almost vomited (without forcing). I haven't had binge this big since months.
Because I am currently underweight I have philosophy of "acting like binge didn't happen" instead of purging. Basically next day I just eat slightly less and try to feel comfortable and relatively guilt-free. And I did yesterday. And I thought I was still full(and I was that morning) and I won't be able to eat much anyway l, but I eventually started eating. And I ate. And ate. And ate. And even though I was still kinda filled from previous day I managed to consume approximately 5000kcal... and today around 4500 too. I don't know how is it happening because I very rarely feel so hungry that I need to eat more than 1800kcal a day. But I am just sitting here now disgusted with myself for eating 18000kcal in 3 days and still want to eat more (not physically hungry, just "psychologically"). I am wondering if the first binge can "stretch"my stomach so I can eat more. If so, does anybody knows how to shrink it again? :(
I love my completely logical ED brain 🙃
/u/finnkat [5'3 | 90lbs | 16.4 | 19f]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:48:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdmj3/i_love_my_completely_logical_ed_brain/
---
my brain 2 days ago: sure you can have 750 calories worth of pizza (: its ok to indulge once in a while and 750 calories really isn't that much for a whole day. plus you've been so good recently!
my brain today: no you can't have a stick of gum, that's 5 extra calories that you do 👏 not 👏 need 👏 you already had 200 calories today, do you want to be obese? is that your goal here?
[Rant/Rave] I’m feeling great about my fast
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 |CW 117 | GW 115 | GW 105-110 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:40:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdk6d/im_feeling_great_about_my_fast/
---
I’ll go for about 2 1/2 or 3 days and I already fasted earlier this week. I feel great, like I could do this forever. It’s been easier than before.
[Discussion] DAE stop caring about everyone/thing they love because of their ED?
/u/lizbites
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:39:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdjp5/dae_stop_caring_about_everyonething_they_love/
---
Today I lied to my BF about what time I was getting out of work so I could sit in the grocery store parking lot and B/P.
Then, I accidentally dropped my Pringles all over my muddy car floor, so now I’m literally picking dirty chips up off the floor to eat them.
There it goes — all my manners, integrity, and self-respect out the window. All cuz my mom bought me a tube of sour cream & onion pringles once when I was a kid to cheer me up, and they’ve been the only thing capable of cheering me up ever since — or something like that.
What is it about eating disorders in particular that strip you of all your dignity and self control???
[Discussion] Orthodontist and purging?
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 50.5kg |BMI 17.89 | GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:38:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdjho/orthodontist_and_purging/
---
So basically I've been purging quite frequently the last two weeks, and I do try to reduce the damage done to my teeth by rinsing my mouth with a lot of water afterwards and not brushing my teeth for a while.
I have to go to an orthodontist in a week and half because my teeth have moved big time and I'm wondering if they'll be able to obviously tell if my teeth have been damaged?
[Other] You know you’ve made it when...
/u/myrtlewils0n [22F | 5'6" | CW: 116.7 | GW: <110| BMI: 18.6]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:34:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdifo/you_know_youve_made_it_when/
---
Your five year old step sister, who, like most kids of the age range 3 to 7 are brutally honest, goes to give you a hug when she gets home from school only to pull back, look you in the eye and say: “You’re skinny!”
I can’t trust the mirror. I can’t trust the scale. But the brutal lack of filter of a five year old? FeelsGoodMan.jpg
(Alternatively titled, why the fuck am I like this lmao...)
[Tip] Pumpkin Latte Protein Drink
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:30:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdh2d/pumpkin_latte_protein_drink/
---
Okay, so I'm low key using this sub to document my low cal food successes but bear with me; I want everyone to benefit.
This all started with me being a cheap bitch and wanted to extend my cashew milk supply to another week. So I mixed 300 ml cashew milk with 100 ml pumpkin puree into my shaker bottle and added a scoop of Isoflex Cookies and Cream Whey Protein Isolate (my absolute fav, not sponsored lol).
When I finally got to the meeting that had dinner options available, I decided to seal the no-temptation deal and added 100 ml coffee to the liquid, added the powder and shook everything up.
Omg. Yum. Next time, I'd add cinnamon, ginger & nutmeg and possibly chill the whole thing but it was delicious lukewarm.
Bonus, I now look like a basic gym bunny because my shirt happens to be workout themed as well.
Fellow fruit-hating friends, what are your low cal snacks?
/u/Trowawaysadness
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:29:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdgs4/fellow_fruithating_friends_what_are_your_low_cal/
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Preferably under 100 cal, even better if it's under 50
How do you suppress your binges?
/u/Trowawaysadness
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:22:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdeto/how_do_you_suppress_your_binges/
---
ANY suggestion is welcome. I am that desperate
[Discussion] Kinda have a weird question... (Probably nsfw)
/u/not-creative-enough- [5’6 | 16F | CW145lbs | 23.5 | HW150lbs ]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:16:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdcw7/kinda_have_a_weird_question_probably_nsfw/
---
For girls who have gone from a high(-ish/er) bmi to a low(-ish/er) bmi, how have your boobs changed, if at all? I’m so scared mine are gonna get saggy and gross, they aren’t really perky as is and they’re something I know I can’t change and one of my biggest insecurities. I really like the size they are now (My highest bmi was borderline overweight so Idk if I’ll lose much boob-age) they’re bigger than most of my families and I oddly like that, it’s something I have that they don’t.
Does the skin tighten up?
Also I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, I know I’m not really a high bmi, but I’m aiming to lose 20lbs which will put me at a relatively low bmi
[Other] Hi britt
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:15:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pdcsr/hi_britt/
---
Uh, hey brittany. I know you're on here because this is the third r/proED and r/proEDmemes post you've put on facebook in the past week. We're not close but just wanted to let you know that I see you, and I care.
[Discussion] I just wish my days off were....
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1 | 195 | 36.8 | -25 | M]
Created: Thu Oct 18 15:04:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pd9jq/i_just_wish_my_days_off_were/
---
Yeah, I work nights, but even my "off nights" are spent in my bed. I need to fix it. Im not sure what I'm doing wrong but I can't be productive. Sorry to sound like a broken record, I posted about this a couple weeks back already. But I want to turn back into my best self and it's driving me crazy. All I do is sit around and eat, and I can't turn it off. I want to be thin, look fantastic, spend time at the gym as a hobby & not let others' comments get in my head. I feel like that's not a lot to ask.
[Help] Need to shower, clean room, and study... but I’m tired and upset.
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Thu Oct 18 14:56:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pd6t6/need_to_shower_clean_room_and_study_but_im_tired/
---
Hate where my body is at right now.
Hate my friends, or there-lack-of (they are pretty shit and admit to being manipulative dicks)
Hate the man who is sending me mixed signals romantically.
I don’t have the energy to get things done, and working just sounds so miserable.
I’m gettin older and feel so left behind... but I don’t want to be a wage slave forever.
Need to get up, shower and clean my room. I can never do these things continuously.
It’s such a chore to do my hair, and to collect my clothes off the floor.
Sigh.
Halp.
[Rant/Rave] “Pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in the world as a woman”
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 14:47:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pd43q/pretty_is_not_the_rent_you_pay_to_exist_in_the/
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I saw this quote and it reminded me that as a person with bpd, I feel like instead of pretty, pain is the rent I pay to exist in the world.
What I mean by that is, I’m not supposed to feel my feelings. Well, most of them, most of the time. Or, ok, I can *feel them* but can’t express them or that’s bad. It’s perfectly fine to feel what I feel as long as I react and respond to those feelings in the “correct” ways. Which I can’t do. I can’t even figure out what the “correct” ways are.
So to mitigate some of the pressure, and to allow myself to feel emotional pain with the intensity I do but not express it (because then other people will feel bad), I cause myself physical pain. I’m trying to not cut anymore so an ED seems like the perfect solution right now; no one notices, or cares. Yes I want to lose weight but that’s secondary to my ultimate goal, which is to feel and express a “normal” amount of pain and not have off days, unstable days, because I’m expected to perform excellently with this all the time, not merely good or ok.
Nobody understands this, ever. They’re like “why can’t you just validate yourself and practice self care?” As if that has EVER worked in my life. In fact, it has the opposite effect for me. Also, in a way, I *am* validating myself by “neutralizing” the emotional pain I feel with an adequate amount of physical pain to compensate. Other people seem to have this idea “if I tell her what she’s feeling is wrong or exaggerated, she won’t feel/express it the wrong way anymore!” But it just doesn’t work that way for me. I need validation, and the way I validate myself currently is through physical pain and suffering. This way, I don’t react inappropriately or extremely, and I keep everything under control. I can handle emotional pain far better when I’m torturing myself; when I’m not, I have the false idea that others will allow me to express my pain and validate it, which is not the case.
[Help] Low calorie lunch ideas?
/u/RtB107
Created: Thu Oct 18 14:42:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pd2lu/low_calorie_lunch_ideas/
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Hey, guys! Just did a 48 hour fast and broke it. Probably gonna fast on and off for a while. I’m looking into making some (hopefully filling) lunches for work on the days I don’t fast. Any of you guys got some good low calorie ideas for the lunchbox? I’m gonna go to the shop to see what I can find, but I figured I’d ask y’all for some ideas, if that’s cool. :)
[Discussion] Does anyone use a corset?
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Thu Oct 18 14:22:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pcwbn/does_anyone_use_a_corset/
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This is a weird question, and I know it’s probably been asked.... but does anyone use a corset (like a real one?)? Is it a good experience/would you recommend it? I know that results are mostly only visible when you’re wearing it which is okay with me.
Do y’all think it would be particularly harmful to a singer? I’m not professional or anything but I would like to still have *some* lung capacity.
getting back to restriction after like three months lol :))
/u/BackgroundHole [5'5" | HW 135 | LW 119 | CW 126 | GW 105 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 14:20:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pcvk8/getting_back_to_restriction_after_like_three/
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HEY HEY HEY IM BACK BITCHESSS
so over the summer, i lost like 10-15 pounds via restriction but yg issa dUMB BITCH and gave up over the summer. after two months of trying to get back to it, im FINALLY GONNA DO IT!! holy fuck!!
youre probably wondering rn, what is the fucking point of this post??? and honestly idk. shit j feels more real when u type it out and post it on reddit ig so here i am!! trying to finally lose all of this extra fuckin weight and keep that shit off!! how wonderful :)
also lmk if you have an tips for getting back after a break!! im so used to bingeing whatever the fuck i want to its the worst :((
am i relapsing again?
/u/raspberryfleur [5'4 | 102 | 17.5 | -75 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 14:19:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pcvhp/am_i_relapsing_again/
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i work too much. 6 days a week in a nursing home. yet im still lazy according to people.
i walk around too much. i was stressed at work so much and just trying to remember what to do...i have autism and its my form of a "stim". i have no idea how to explain what a stim is other than it calms me down. i was trying to get everything done but i didnt and the head chef yelled at me in front of EVERYONE and kept bitching about me the entire day. im sorry, i didnt mean to...just please stop being so mean to me. just ignore me if im such a fucking liability
and i decided to break up with my boyfriend because he still loved his ex. we broke up on good terms and honestly im a little relieved. i wasnt sure if i was truly in love. its still a shitty feeling to lose your boyfriend to another girl. he was perfect for her.
one day ill be perfect for someone and stop messing up so much. i havent eaten since tuesday. my appetite hasnt returned. i dont know when it will come back, my appetite or control over my life
[Tip] Down about eating over your goal or a binge?
/u/miserablemei [Height: 5’1| CW: 153 |SW: 168| Female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 13:53:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pcn23/down_about_eating_over_your_goal_or_a_binge/
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I did some research and apparently Americans eats 3,770 calories DAILY on average. That’s like... a binge a day. The way I look at is that even if I mess up, at least I’m trying my best to not do that. I see people beating themselves up over 1k cals but that’s almost a quarter of what the average person (in the US at least) eats. So if you’re down about how much you’ve had to eat, just remember those stats.
Stay safe my loves!!!
[Discussion] Has anyone gone a month without eating? Did u die?
/u/pinkpanda999
Created: Thu Oct 18 13:34:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pcha4/has_anyone_gone_a_month_without_eating_did_u_die/
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Lol. According to the losertown calculator, that’s how long I’ll have to fast to reach my GW. I wanna just go for it. I have electrolyte supplements and vitamin b. Maybe i’ll eat celery.
People have fasted for 40 days and didn’t die so 28 should be doable
I’m not scared of losing muscle because I’m not a fan of my muscular legs
Is this some big risk or not really?
Has anyone done this before or low restricted <200 for that long?
[Rant/Rave] Stupid, stupid me
/u/brokenchalkboard [5'1 | CW: 132.8| BMI: 25.13 | Weight Lost: 27lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 13:33:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pch61/stupid_stupid_me/
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I asked a guy friend on a date a little while ago. Tonight rolls around and he tells me that he wants it to just be platonic and that he isn’t really ready for anything romantic. But he still wants to have the date.
I feel so stupid. I misread the signs. I thought he was into me, like how I was, but now maybe it was just harmless flirting. I feel like a fucking moron. Maybe it’s my weight. Or how I look. Or maybe he actually isn’t ready for anything and I mean I can’t blame him.
But I keep thinking that I did something wrong. I thought I was finally thin enough to kinda be happy and we had dinner a few times before, and those were the only times I was comfortable eating. But tonight? Nah. I’m just going to drink tonight. Order something and not eat it.
I knew I was feeling manic lately. All these “good feelings” were bound to leave at some point. Oh well. I guess the brief intermission from feeling shitty was nice.
Wish me luck. Hopefully I don’t get too piss drunk in front of him.
[Discussion] Anyone else get sensitive to light while fasting?
/u/not-creative-enough-
Created: Thu Oct 18 13:24:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pce8t/anyone_else_get_sensitive_to_light_while_fasting/
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Last year around spring/winter when I fasted I got EXTREMELY sensitive to the light and couldn’t “see” (I could see perfectly inside, but couldn’t open my eyes when outside) anything for over an hour, it hurt too much to look at the snow/ be outside in general. I broke my fast shortly after that because it scared me, and I tried finding something about it on the fasting subreddits but nothing came up, I didn’t know if any of you have ever experienced this?
[Discussion] DAE have a love/hate relationship with eating in front of people?
/u/angelic-rose [🌹 19F | 5’6 | 120.4 | 19.41 | GW1 120]
Created: Thu Oct 18 13:03:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pc7ow/dae_have_a_lovehate_relationship_with_eating_in/
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I eat my OMAD in the cafeteria at uni..I’m high restricting rn so I’m eating around 1200-1500 calories during this time. I hate it because I think I look like a fucking pig but i think I’m at the point where I’m thin enough for people to not be disgusted by it?? Like they probably think I have a ~high metabolism~ and I’m a freak of nature that can eat multiple plates of food for lunch and still be small. These days I only like eating in front of people so they can think that. It makes me feel kinda twisted even though normal people do this all the time without even realizing it. Idk.
Long story short he cheated. She’s in highschool and tiny af
/u/makingamodel [5'8 | CW: 131.8| HW: 198 | UGW: 124 | 20 F -67.2]
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:58:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pc5yb/long_story_short_he_cheated_shes_in_highschool/
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He is 27 and I’m 21 and grabbed me in highschool so I should’ve know tbh. Who fucking cares though this is just what I needed to go off the fasting deep end, 3 days into a water fast with 0 hunger and it’s helping my mood oddly. The chick is maybe 80 lbs btw with prepubescent body, so I can understand all of his snide comments when I’d order dessert now, even though I would pay every meal we didn’t go Dutch on. Fast train whooo
[Other] DAE feel rage toward their body?
/u/cattivity
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:49:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pc380/dae_feel_rage_toward_their_body/
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Like "punch a wall" angry specifically?
I put on a tight fitting shirt and just felt so ridiculously angry. Like what the fuck? How could I work so hard and still look like such an ugly, flabby piece of garbage?
[Help] I don’t understand CICO
/u/unlicensedrussian [Height 5'5" | CW 131 | GW 110 | 21 F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:39:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbzyt/i_dont_understand_cico/
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So ya I have a Fitbit so for example if it says I’ve burned 1700 calories and I’ve eaten 1700, does that means it’s cancelled each other out? And what does it mean when it says 300 calories left? Do I still lose weight or what? I’m very confused and stupid apparently lmao
WLS and conversation with my friend
/u/markjohn3411
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:37:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbzak/wls_and_conversation_with_my_friend/
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This past July I finalized plans to undergo WLS. I made the decision based off my history of struggling with loosing and maintaining a healthy weight, I also suffered several weight related conditions that ultimately was affecting my quality of life. I wanted this to be as private as possible, so I only disclosed my procedure to a handful of my friends and family. There was one specific friend, who I told and his responsive was very different from what I expected. He is an individual who had a similar BMI to myself (40+). We shared similar values about being comfortable about our bodies. During this time, I was enrolled in my pre op program and started going to the gym on a regular basis in order for me to meet my required pre op weight. My beliefs on body positivity still remained at high, but I was also facing a number of heath problems. I do not want to struggle with weight related conditions in the future.
I did not disclose to him the news about my participation in the pre op program or the surgery right until about 3 weeks before the operation. His tone towards me changed, he appeared to be slightly judgmental towards me and distanced himself from me. I feel quite upset about it because I feel that my pursuit of this procedure was everything about self awareness as well as positivity. My blood sugar has already normalized by the time I left the hospital. My blood pressure is getting better every day. I don’t want my body positivity to get in my quality of life. I wish my friend would understand that.
Fast forward to October 2018. I am about 3 months post op, and I am pretty close to being fully recovered. Many of my weight related conditions have been greatly relieved and I have lost a substantial amount of weight. My friend reaches out to me for advice about how to seek a practice for him to get the surgery. I was supportive, but simultaneously shocked because of his sudden shift in attitude towards the surgery. I did not ask him for a explanation, but you could imagine how strange it was for me to have this conversation. I don't really know how to process it without asking him for his honest shift in thoughts.
[Discussion] I know ED’s can be anxiety inducing but do ED behaviours help you cope with other anxieties / problems you have?
/u/Izzy570 [25F | 5’4 | CW 110.8lb | BMI 18.8 | GW 100lb | LW 94lb | ]
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:37:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbz9y/i_know_eds_can_be_anxiety_inducing_but_do_ed/
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Hope title makes sense. I am not diagnosed with an ED but I’m pretty sure I have one, I am diagnosed with social anxiety, generalised anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, panic attacks/dissociation and borderline PD (this is why I don’t want another diagnosis... lol)
Anyway idk about anyone else but when I restrict and lose weight I can sometimes do stuff I couldn’t before: go outside with less anxiety and panic ect, like instead of worrying excessively over everything I can just focus on food / weight / calories and everything else seems to be easier to cope with.
Is this normal or?
CICO
/u/unlicensedrussian [Height 5'5" | CW 131 | GW 110 | 21 F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:37:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbz4n/cico/
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I don’t actually understand cico??? So like I have a Fitbit and for example if it says I’ve burned 1700 calories, and then I eat that amount, does that mean it cancels out? Or what? And what does it mean when it says I have like 300 left??? I’m very confused lmao
[Rant/Rave] I just put in my highest weight to a bmi calc and then my current weight
/u/onepostforme
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:32:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbxrt/i_just_put_in_my_highest_weight_to_a_bmi_calc_and/
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I feel so fucking good about the huge difference. I've made a lot of progress when I think about it in large scale, it has been years since I've been at my high weight, and when I just look at it week by week I usually feel it's not enough. I'm feeling mostly proud of my accomplishment and the number it shows me for my current weight made me feel nice but I feel a bit bad about remembering how far I let myself get with unchecked binging. Mostly proud though🙂
[Rant/Rave] why the fuck did I tell someone about my ED?
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:27:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbw2j/why_the_fuck_did_i_tell_someone_about_my_ed/
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So I have a new dentist and since I'm 18 now I can finally fill out the form by myself. I had to fill out the medical history form and I checked "eating disorder" despite me not having a formal diagnosis (though I don't think it takes an expert to know that eating well under 1000 cals a day on top of fasting regularly is NOT normal eating) and now I'm scared???? why did I tell her? What if she shares that medical info to all my other doctors? what if they tell my family and force me to get a psych evaluation and recover? BRUH. I'M NOT READY TO RECOVER. I'm nowhere near my goal weight, and tbh Ana makes me feel way more in control than I ever did before.
​
Plus, if my family finds out, they're gonna get super pissed that I didn't tell them because e have to be a \~perfect family\~ that is \~super open about everything\~ and \~doesn't keep any secrets from each other\~ but it HAS to be a secret. I can't let these hoes get in the way of my progress.
​
I should have kept it a secret fmlllll what do I do
Really annoyed with myself. Just a rant. Sorry
/u/insecureslut
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:25:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbvfw/really_annoyed_with_myself_just_a_rant_sorry/
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I’m 5’10, went from 200 lbs to 158. I have binge eating disorder too. I lost my weight by being keto, and I have an unrealistic goal of being 130 by Christmas, so I’m continuing keto (and I don’t go above 850 cals a day). I just almost binged, I had a chocolate waffle and I chewed it and kept it in my mouth, thinking to myself whether to spit or swallow (ha.) and I spat it out. I’m just scared shitless that I’ve been knocked out of ketosis and absorbed calories because that’s what everyone says about chew n spitting. Holy fuck I feel terrible. I know I’m not going to get to my gw anyway in time (and yes. I’m one of those annoying people who set goal weights with time limits just to torture myself more.)
Stumbled across this disgusting article online and I can't believe people exist who think this way.
/u/famarino [5’3 | CW: 103| 18.3 | UGW: 90| F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 12:03:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pboey/stumbled_across_this_disgusting_article_online/
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http://www.returnofkings.com/21313/5-reasons-to-date-a-girl-with-an-eating-disorder
[Discussion] Hobbies/Activities
/u/xyenince
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:53:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbl81/hobbiesactivities/
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I do nothing but work and sleep. I seriously need hobbies or something to get me out of the house because on my days off all I do is sit around and think about eating/not eating and my depression gets so bad.
I'm not in school so theres no activities clubs or anything
I also sadly don't have friends or anyone to do stuff with but I'm also fine doing hobbies and activities by myself!
What do you guys do for fun? It's almost winter here and it snows a lot but I cant ski. I thought learning to ski might be fun but I dont have money for a pass this winter :(
[Rant/Rave] I’ve been triggered out of a binge cycle and I’m both miserable and ecstatic
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:44:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbidt/ive_been_triggered_out_of_a_binge_cycle_and_im/
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I’ve been on the longest binge cycle. Failing at restricting so bad. Like I’d stuff my face, eat upwards of 3,000+ kcal and not move much at all.
I came back to my parents house in America for a month, and still struggled for a couple weeks to not binge on all the dope American food but still failed.
UNTIL
Until I was triggered by two old friends who succeeded at losing weight (one of which was TINY AND HAD THE MOST AMAZING LEGS AND FIT INTO SIZE 23 JEANS while I was SQUEEZING into 26) and it KILLED ME. Successfully fasted 24 hours, successfully ate under 1,200 when I broke the fast, and now I’m doing OMAD today and tomorrow and will restrict Saturday (me and my friends are all getting together and cooking meals together so I can’t really avoid it)
AND I FEEL SO GOOD. IM BACK AT IT BITCHES. I WILL BE SKINNY.
[Other] Anyone else with wide hips/bone structure feel like they’ll never be truly skinny?
/u/astro-bandit [5'8 | CW: 116 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:26:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pbcv0/anyone_else_with_wide_hipsbone_structure_feel/
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I’m “blessed” with wide hips and shoulders (and to top it off I’m on the taller side). There’s tons of thinspo with girls with a similar body type as me, but the only ones that really motivate me are the girls with a small frame. I want to be dainty and little, not curvy. I know I’ll never look like that and it kills me.
[Rant/Rave] No, dude you don't eat enough/too much, stop with the "muh metabolism" pseudoscience.
/u/nihpur [186 cm| 66.0 kg | 19.1 | -30.4 kg | Dude]
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:15:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pb97u/no_dude_you_dont_eat_enoughtoo_much_stop_with_the/
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Nothing bothers me as much as the people who do this whether it's a "NaTuRAllY ThiN" person who never snacks and feels full after eating a toddler's meal or a relative who let themselves go (start drinking alcohol daily and eating like a dumpster) and claim they used to be in godly shape when they were young because of "metabolism". First type is just fishing for compliments on subconscious level while the second one is just looking for excuses. One of my fatass relatives calling me a twig and disregarding my efforts to get in shape and saying that I had my age and metabolism to thank got me so mad today. But it'd be "ruder" of me to comment on his man tits or pregnant looking belly or his inability to barely carry his own fatass while having no idea about the body-weight exercise routines I mastered. I am aware there are people with hormonal issues that messes up the fact that calorie arithmetic is the only reason for weight gain/loss, but they are rarely the case when people talk about their "metabolism". Almost everyone is aware about how much they eat and why they can't gain/lose, there is literally no reason for this metabolism pseudo-science to be running around.
Ah, if only it was this easy
/u/quiteapear
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pb856/ah_if_only_it_was_this_easy/
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https://i.redd.it/kr0xjez55ys11.jpg
People that work in an office or have an idle daily life ?
/u/littlejanedoe- [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:09:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pb77x/people_that_work_in_an_office_or_have_an_idle/
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So I have recently returned from work from maternity leave and in two months i have gained just over 10lbs! Nothing has changed with my food or restricting.. its just that i am sitting at my desk all day. When i was on mat leave i was going to the gym everyday, walking/hiking with baby, just constantly moving. Now my hr workout after work just isn't cutting it anymore. I am so scared of gaining anymore weight i am going crazy.
What do you all do to keep fit/slim while spending most of your day on your ass ?
​
PSA: Please avoid Laxatives for "weight loss"
/u/KittyGemma
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:04:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pb5cv/psa_please_avoid_laxatives_for_weight_loss/
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Hello.
Currently recovering from anorexia for 6+ months.
Been diagnosed with constipation since I was a baby. Started eating more fruit and vegetables when I turned 18 which sadly lead to a diagnosis of Chronic Constipation and IBS (I know, strange.)
22 Years old and I'm in the hospital as an In-Patient. My bowels are literally fucked. I am on edge and waiting for results which could change my life. I might have to get an ACE surgery.
I am telling you all this is because I've taken laxatives all of my life. For constipation AND for weight loss (over 9 months ago)
I was taking way too much but that was because of my restricting that my colon was just lazy and not functioning correctly. I was dropping the pounds due to appetite loss.
When I started to recover, I cut down on the laxatives. Things were going very well.
However until late September, my bowels were just not working right. I could not go for a number 2 for almost 5 days. I was in stomach pain, crying my eyes out, begging my parents for help. Luckily this was the same day that I was to see my IBS doctor for a follow-up appointment. When he saw me in a state, he immediately admitted me in as in-patient. Tests were done, a huge amount of laxatives were taken. After being back up for almost 1 and a half weeks, I was able to go. The pain went away and I went home.
However, after 1 week, I'm back in again. I feel ashamed of myself. I wish that instead of being given pills, they took a lot at my diet as a child. All of this build up of laxatives and calorie counting as lead me to rock bottom of a ruined bowel.
​
Please do not go through this. You are worth having a healthy bowel. Laxatives will not make you drop the pounds. Laxatives do not adsorb calories. Laxatives help you go the toilet if you have not been for 2 or more days.
If you do not have any bowel issues, instead of laxatives, please eat some prunes instead.
[Rant/Rave] Staying at my boyfriends for the weekend
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Thu Oct 18 11:01:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pb4bz/staying_at_my_boyfriends_for_the_weekend/
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His whole family eats terrible and I have no idea what i’m going to do(: He’s also suspicious of my eating habits rn so if I don’t eat he will definitely notice and if I do I will definitely blow up into an even bigger whale((: Plus Saturday we are going out of town for his birthday and I know that means restaurants(:
I(: Want(: To(: Crawl(: In(: A(: Hole(:
[Rant/Rave] Oh my god i did the thing
/u/onepostforme
Created: Thu Oct 18 10:58:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pb3cd/oh_my_god_i_did_the_thing/
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I normally eat under 100cal or binge but yesterday I did THE THING! The thing where you eat two cauliflower tater tots for breakfast and freak about the cal, then ate a slice of bacon chicken pizza from Domino's and one cinnamon bread twist and thought fuck it I'll binge. But then I didn't binge! Weighed and logged dinner (frozen riced broccoli plus frozen green beans plus Jimmy Dean ground turkey sausage) then added the pizza and the cinnamon twist and I was under my lower limit budget of 600! Fasting today (pre-planned before I even woke up yesterday, not a punishment) feels so fucking easy because I got to taste the pizza and the cinnamon and I was still where I wanted to be. I normally would just mark it as a binge on mfp but I actually logged my food and feel like I made an achievement. new unlocked power: I can now eat pizza while drunk and still be okay with myself as a human being, I can now eat above 100cal and it doesn't make me failure it makes me feel like I have control beyond that number. I am now 105.4# of girl who can eat the pizza log the pizza and only feel a tiny bit horrible that the numbers might be off, I can eat near 600cal and see the number on the scale drop, I can wake up in the morning after eating fear food and look at myself in the mirror and like what I see. I DID THE THING!!!!!
[Rant/Rave] When someone who knows about your ED never comments on your weight because they don’t want to reinforce your habits
/u/mmblarg
Created: Thu Oct 18 10:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9paycq/when_someone_who_knows_about_your_ed_never/
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Jokes on them, not commenting is also a trigger! 😄
got these dishes in tokyo, thought you guys might appreciate
/u/abiroo
Created: Thu Oct 18 10:41:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9paxtq/got_these_dishes_in_tokyo_thought_you_guys_might/
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https://i.redd.it/ufhoc2iy2zs11.jpg
Do vodka cran cals count???
/u/CB_puglover
Created: Thu Oct 18 10:29:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pau77/do_vodka_cran_cals_count/
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I'm so I'm on my second glass of vodka cran and I'm drunk because I'm obviously starving during the day and I was just wondering if anyone knew how many cals are in my drink because I'm on my second and I'm starting to feel sooo guilty but I'm also kind of drunk so I'm happy at the same time lmao. I was spotting the bartender using absolute and that's what I usually go for but idk what I'm asking lol I'm just worried I'm over my 500 cal limit unless I'm still under because if that's the case I'll get another drink. Please let me know...im like a long time lurker and will probably delete this after a while but yeah I love you guys so much and this is really the second community that totally understands me. Anyway, ok I'm dumb and weird I'm sorry I love you all ahhhhhhh pls respond haha
[Discussion] What was it like telling your significant other about your ED?
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Thu Oct 18 09:52:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pai88/what_was_it_like_telling_your_significant_other/
---
I’m so close to telling my bf about my ED; I just don’t know whether to or not. We’ve been dating for just over a year and a half and he’s my rock, the love of my life. I genuinely see the rest of my life with this man :’) But he doesn’t know about my ED. My ED started just before we began dating (it wasn’t anything to do with him, I reached breaking point lmaoooooo) and it’s kinda been going full throttle since then.
Im especially super close to telling him bc I’m going to stay with him for a week and a half (we’re long distance for uni so we don’t get that much time together) but that means a week and a half of eating like a normal person and I’m scared. He’s genuinely amazing and always makes me feel loved - I actually struggle less with eating and feel much better about myself whenever I’m around him. He knows I have a bad self image and body image issues but he doesn’t know it’s a whole ~eating disorder~.
Lmao this has turned into a whole ramble fest. Im just super conflicted about what to do, and was wondering what it was like for your partners! Id do anything for him and I really don’t want this to cause a rift between us or anything like that :( I know it’ll be hard to deal with but let’s be real I’m an anxious depressed mess who is already hard to deal with - I don’t know why he loves me
[Discussion] What was it like telling your partner about your ED?
/u/ghostsportclub
Created: Thu Oct 18 09:47:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pagck/what_was_it_like_telling_your_partner_about_your/
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[removed]
Guess stuff about my life and personality based on a few of my worst days from my food journal
/u/am_i_the_grasshole [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Thu Oct 18 09:17:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pa6w9/guess_stuff_about_my_life_and_personality_based/
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This might not go over well because it's too random, but I was reading my food journal for this year and thinking about how much it shows about me and my life.
Then I thought it'd be fun/interesting to do like that first impression subreddit where people describe someone's personality by guessing based off one photo.
I'm just really curious what other people would think about me from reading it, and there's no way to show it to anyone else without it being very weird.
So here we go. Guess anything!
Thursday
2 bowls of honey bunches of oats with soy milk
coffee with soy milk
raisins
blackberries
binge on honey bunches of oats
tea with soy milk
2 chocolate cookies
curry tuna
plantains
chips and salsa
1 regular happy hour margarita
2 guava margaritas
Sunday
Eggy bread with maple syrup
Bacon
Coffee with milk
Tea with soy milk
Strawberry cake (1/2)
Big Cadbury chocolate
Peanut butter kit Kat minis
Port
Tea with soy milk
Chickpea bacon stir fry
Rice
Champagne
Port
Sunday
Cereal (coco pebbles) with milk
tea
almonds
Cliff bar
cherries
green tea latte
entire bag of croutons
whole foods lentil soup
smores
whiskey flavored marshmallow
Monday
half a fried plantain
coffee with milk
ton of jalepeno chips
fries
cherries
3 slices of fried green plantain with guacamole
coffee with coconut cream
Monday
tea with soy milk
strawberries and grapes
2 crab cakes
3 slices of green plantain
half Toblerone
coffee with soy milk
mashed potato
lentil and spinach stew
dark chocolate ice cream with Oreo cookies
Saturday
Blueberry almond muffin
Chai latte
0 cal tea soda
Plain pretzel (1/4)
Which wich black bean burger sandwich (no bread)
Horchata
1 Beer fat tire
1 Merlot Wine
Gummy bears
1 tequila shot
1 cocktail tequila pineapple and cranberry
Caramel m&ms
pineapple upside down cake
Saturday
2 banana pecan pancakes
coffee with soy milk
Cliff bar (half)
green milk bubble tea
1 beer (Breckenridge vanilla porter)
duck confit with cauliflower fried rice (Napa cabbage, brussel sprouts, etc.)
tea with soy milk
vodka lemonade
jagerbomb
gin and tonic
whisky neat
Thursday
Green plantain with guacamole
Coffee with rice milk
Cadbury pop rocks chocolate quarter
Mini fudge
Chocolate covered honeycomb
Chocolate covered peanut
Coffee
Dried pineapple
Fish and chips
Pea fritter
Rice dream
Nectarine
Tea with rice milk
I was planning out my foods for the day and I was going to shoot for 800 but...
/u/ThorsHammock
Created: Thu Oct 18 09:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9pa6ma/i_was_planning_out_my_foods_for_the_day_and_i_was/
---
http://imgur.com/BxZ2FGW
Fuck You Universe!
/u/Themermaidmomma
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:52:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9yv4/fuck_you_universe/
---
https://i.redd.it/fylo1ksgjys11.jpg
[Help] Night eating / binging in my sleep / what the actual fuck
/u/Bookofkelis [5'10 | 126 | 18.1 | GW 118 | 20F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:49:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9y29/night_eating_binging_in_my_sleep_what_the_actual/
---
So yesterday I binged, purged, and shoved the leftover food in a drawer by my bed. I then fell asleep for a few hours, woke up to finish some uni work, then as far as I remember, went back to sleep for the night. But when I woke up this morning, the food was out of the drawer and it appears that I ate half a packet of cheese crackers, a ton of Nutella and some gingerbread. Only I have no memory of it AT ALL. Has this happened to anyone else? I'm freaking out and scared that it will happen again, even though I've taken the food out of my room. I was VERY sleep deprived and exhausted from purging but I literally can't remember eating this food. Wtf.
College causing anorexia/bulimia relapse?
/u/cheeseontheritz
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:40:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9vg2/college_causing_anorexiabulimia_relapse/
---
This is so embarrassing but I have to get it out there. I'm a 21 year old male who's suffered with anorexia for over 2 years now. I was always the fat kid as a child (which has been a major source of shame for me) and in high school I lost some weight by doing marching band and skipping lunch (I saved my lunch money to pay for gas money). I haven't ate lunch since 2012. I got down to 125 lbs by the time I was a senior, and that's when the exercise addiction started. My dad and I got memberships to a gym and I started to go a couple times a week, and in the ensuing summer before my first year of college I use the gym as my comfort. All of my friends went on to other colleges and I was alone in my small town, so I stuck to working out and controlling my diet with orthorexic tendencies in order to feel some type of control. I was extremely lonely (and still am). I started college and continued to lose weight by barely eating/exercising obsessively. I started working for a catering company last year for some extra money, and while working there I noticed that I would get so hungry running around that I would binge on the leftover food they had. We would get a break when the wedding/celebration was easing down, and they would let us eat as much as we wanted before they threw it out. This brought back old tendencies of mine as a fat kid who always had to finish his plate and not let anything go to waste, and so I started to binge every shift. I would get so full that I would rush to the bathroom when I was meant to be clearing tables and throw it all up.
I then got a job at a grocery store preparing deli foods, and I started to binge there too. I would sneak food from the coolers and scarf it down without even chewing honestly, just to eat it quickly before anyone saw (chicken, bacon, hard boiled eggs, stuff for salads). I'd then go throw it up because I was so sick. I have no idea why I felt like I needed to eat when I wasn't even hungry. Just something about being around food made me feel like it was being wasted. I eventually got caught once and was fired. This was last summer where I got down to 97 lbs (at 5'7", my BMI was 15.2). At home I kept these tendencies and would binge on all the food I could find. I felt like I had no control. I no idea what major to do in college, I had no friends, I was being fired from jobs, both of my parents were moving out of state. I felt awful. I needed a break. So I took some time off college and did some remedial online classes for the semester.
During last winter semester, I restructured my life and focused on recovery. I got better (at least in my eyes). I got back up to 120 lbs but honestly I was still participating in disordered eating. I would fast for 36-48 hrs then eat a single meal. I would also use laxatives heavily. But to me this was better than throwing up. I maintained this throughout this past summer, then I went back to college full-time. And everything came back.
I don't know if it's a comparison thing or a self-esteem thing, but my habits of eating a single meal turned into a major binge meal that I would throw up. As soon as the semester started, all of my anorexic thoughts came back about my weight and how I needed to get down and down. I now eat a big meal in a hurry once every other day, and then I try to throw it all up. I'm still using laxatives and I exercise 5-6 times a week. My weight has been fluctuating and I'm never proud of myself. I've been back down to 110 and I can't stop thinking about getting back to 97 lbs. I feel like it's a discipline thing, like I'm not a good enough student/person if I'm not pushing myself to the lowest weight possible. I'm tired all the time now from being nutritionally deficient and it's messing with my grades. I don't know what to do. I thought I was recovered enough before coming back to college, but now it's all rushing back at me and I can't eat anything without worrying about when I'm going to throw it up or get it out of me.
I guess my question is: Has college caused anyone else to relapse? Am I the only one? Am I just stupid?
Stuck at 92lb
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:39:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9uz4/stuck_at_92lb/
---
You might remember me from my post complaining about being stuck at 95lb, well now I’m stuck at 92. My body just refuses to go below 92lb like a brat toddler throwing a tantrum. I’m gonna fast for a few days and maybe that will convince my body to corporate.
[Rant/Rave] Kill me now
/u/_koala_master_
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:33:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9t5t/kill_me_now/
---
I hat everything. I was so good w/ restricting for the last two days (~800 cals) but today I have to go and eat 1200 like the fat pig I am. It's not even dinnertime yet... I even woke up 2lbs heavier today, despite staying below 1000 calories yesterday. Oh also, the dulcolax I took does seem to wanna work, so there's that.
The ‘Ana coaches’
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:19:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9p16/the_ana_coaches/
---
There’s been a lot of, I guess commotion? Over these people recently, and sending messages out of nowhere. And although I definitely get how wrong it would be unprompted... I feel weird saying that that’s what I want. I know it’s the ED talking but having a coach to keep losing and holding me accountable almost seems, like, fun? I guess? What are your guys’ thoughts on it?
[Help] How long for Bisacodyl to clear system?
/u/AeronauticalSalad
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:18:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9ort/how_long_for_bisacodyl_to_clear_system/
---
I took 15 mg Bisacodyl on Tuesday and 20 Wednesday morning. I am supposed to give my gastroenterologist a stool sample this week. Any idea how long the laxatives will take to clear from my system?
[Rant/Rave] What have I done
/u/queenofbo0ks [5'6 | 145-ish | 23 | -3.5 | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:12:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9mm4/what_have_i_done/
---
POSSIBLE TRIGGERFOOD WARNING
I was hungry but I didn't want to eat lunch but I was craving cheese as well. My fiancé came with the idea to make nachos because I love those too. They are my trigger food.
We bought mozzarella, regular cheese, sour cream, spiced nacho's and also Iced coffee and fanta zero (the only save food for today).
Guys, I ate half the batch. That must have been 2000+ calories. I AM STILL HUNGRY
Tomorrow we're leaving on an all-inclusive holiday w my family. I've been on this holiday before and I know they supply ALL my trigger foods and cocktails. I just want to lose weight but instead I'll have to walk around in a bikini or else I'll have to tell my dear grandma that I hate my body and want to be 15kgs lighter.
I am so panicky right now and I only have you to confide in. My fiancé knows about my ED (I think), but he might have forgotten about it so yeah...
Fuck
[Rant/Rave] (slides god $20) hey how about giving me a normal relationship with food?
/u/sleepyboyblue [5'5 | CW 110 | GW 80 | M]
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:09:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9lt4/slides_god_20_hey_how_about_giving_me_a_normal/
---
restrict/keep down nothing you eat and you'll get skinny but be scared of food and have your life ruled by it, get sick of it and you try and recover and you get fat again and relapse and the cycle continues arghhhhhhh bs
i'm so tired!! if i'm going to have to fight not to relapse my whole life then what's the point of recovery?
/u/GoWestYoungKanye [i shouldn't be here hahahahahahha]
Created: Thu Oct 18 08:06:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p9kvh/im_so_tired_if_im_going_to_have_to_fight_not_to/
---
i've had my ed since i was 11 (back when it was called ednos and not osfed, #oldschool) and i've been in recovery since... i don't fucking know when and i've been relapsing every few months since whenever that was.
i'm just exhausted. i'm never going to be able to eat like a normal human being. i'm not content unless my stomach hurts. and i'm still a whale, like? i don't even know why i pretend i'm in recovery anymore cause it's a big ass fucking lie! i can't recover. not now, not ever.
Please be careful with the pills you take to lose weight.
/u/axido
Created: Thu Oct 18 07:06:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p936t/please_be_careful_with_the_pills_you_take_to_lose/
---
Hello friends. I being battling with weight and food disorders my whole life.
I am a ex bulimic and a recovering binge eater but sometimes my binge eating comes back and i am scared to gain weight again, last time my binge eating come back i took prescription sleeping pills to avoid them and i developed an addiction to them, sometimes i wake at morning and didn't remember taking a whole box in just a night for example.
Like a month ago i had a epileptic attack and hallucinations and i was really scared because people told me i tried to attack them and harm them and for me it feel like i died when i got that attack, even my memory is ad because i don't remember like half of things that happened in that episode, it was the first time that happened to me and i hope is the last because i am really scare that it happens again.
I am writing all of this because i hope to give a warning to all the people that are taking pills to lose weight or no eat, i know how hard is having a eating disorder i had them for almost my whole life and i done really bad things that harm my body.
Thank you for reading me, sorry for my poor english and please be careful with diet pills, sleeping pills, etc.
[Rant/Rave] I'm so tired. No, I'm just lazy, greedy, and not thin or fit enough to deserve a rest.
/u/lottieeeeee [5'4 | 52kg | F ]
Created: Thu Oct 18 06:39:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p8vrx/im_so_tired_no_im_just_lazy_greedy_and_not_thin/
---
I know in my rational moments that I'm spiraling. I'm at the point where 10 miles of running a day is my minimum to allow myself to eat relatively "normally", and any less and I'm a lazy piece of rubbish. The doctor told me I have a stress reaction in the same site as I had a stress fracture last year. I've lost my period. If I don't run, I can't eat, and I like to eat. But I feel guilty for eating "a lot". I was googling calories in a packet of vegetable stir fry (supposed to be for 2) because being a greedy pig I ate the entire packet for dinner.
But when I do run, I get hungry. I'm small and efficient as a runner, so my TDEE is probably no more than 1,700 with my 10 mile run, my watch (which tracks my heart rate) agrees. Any less exercise and the calories have to be slashed, and I'm so greedy I struggle to restrict below 1,200.
I usually lift as well as run but that doesn't really burn calories properly. But I'm hungry. I took a week off running after the lecture from the doctor, went on the elliptical machine but for well over an hour a day plus heavy lifting, but it doesn't burn the same amount as running as my heart rate doesn't get high enough. So I threw away my lunch and had two rice cakes and a tablespoon of cottage cheese instead. Felt like a pig. Ran today but only 5 miles on the track hard; feel so tired but I don't know if I'm just being lazy. I hate myself for eating my lunch instead of chucking it out. The only thing that makes me feel happy is burning calories, but then I mess it up by eating again. I think only the people on here will have any idea what I'm talking about.
[Sticky] Weekly Emotional Support October 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 18 06:09:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p8o1y/weekly_emotional_support_october_18_2018/
---
We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.
Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.
**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**
*****
Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 18, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 18 06:09:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p8nxc/daily_food_diary_october_18_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 18, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] The issue with playing golf and having an ED --
/u/ClassicDescription
Created: Thu Oct 18 05:54:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p8k4u/the_issue_with_playing_golf_and_having_an_ed/
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I continuously see posts on my front page from r/golf to the tune of "Finally broke 80 this weekend!!!" or "First time hitting below 90!!" and it takes me a good minute to realize that 1) no, it's not someone posting about being 79 pounds, and 2) yes, i can be massively jealous but for a completely different reason.
I am the dumbest human.
[Discussion] Newbie misconceptions
/u/bingeyboa [5'0" | 98 | 19.1 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 05:38:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p8gc7/newbie_misconceptions/
---
This community has a definite culture and with all the acronyms and slang, your average newbie can get the craziest ideas.
For me:
I thought for the longest time than an ECA stack was an actual physical stack of pills. I pictured three different colored tums on top of each other that you took at the start of each day.
I thought flushing during purging referred to flushing the toilet 🙄
I thought that purging gave you a better gag reflex (now I know from experience that's a lie)
I wasn't sure which was which when it came to low restriction and high restriction.
Share your newbie misconceptions below!
[Rant/Rave] My mom told me she's going on a hunger strike until I stop purging
/u/peanutbutterismylife [5'6" | CW: 86 | BMI: 13.9 | 21 / F]
Created: Thu Oct 18 05:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p8b67/my_mom_told_me_shes_going_on_a_hunger_strike/
---
I know. What the actual fuck.
She caught me this morning when I got back from my run and was stretching to tell me that the last 5 years have been the worst of her life, and she can't handle another. And that clearly IP, therapists, psychiatrists, meds, haven't worked, so the only thing that she could think to get me to stop would be if she starved to death. So, she's determined to hunger strike until my bulimia chubby cheeks go away, and in her words "at least if she starves herself to death I can know the pain she's felt for the last 5 years."
I begged her not to, told her that her not eating would just make me be unable to eat (to which her response was "what else is new?"). I finally got her to agree to wait for 2 weeks, to let my cheeks deflate, but after that if they blow up again she'll do it.
Fuck. I can't even make it 5 days without b/p. Might as well just kill myself now and spare us both the pain.
[Other] Goodmorning! Trying to stay positive
/u/art_istical [5'5| 98| 16.3| 17 lbs lost | female]
Created: Thu Oct 18 04:30:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p8136/goodmorning_trying_to_stay_positive/
---
Goodmorning loves. I tried to eat maintenance yesterday but honestly it as one of the worst days of my life. I realized a lot about why I developed this ED, and caught a glimpse of what I would be back to if I recovered right now. I'm using this ED as a means to control, because I have none anywhere else. Yesterday that caused two panic attack-like moments and the biggest binge I've ever had + a burnt tongue because I forgot food shouldn't be continuously eaten at a high temp oops. Anyway, because yesterday was so bad, I'm trying to start this day on a better side of the bed! Going to fast at least 24 hours because otherwise I'll have too much anxiety. Maybe I'll extend it to 48 hours, I just know food is too scary. I'll plan to eat more this weekend because really I don't want to keep losing weight at all. I just want to control the food lol.
It's super early and I'm getting ready for school (I loooove school! Yay!). I hope everybody is doing well! Leave some of your updates below if you'd like, I'd love to hear about all of your lives! And if anybody else is doing a fast right now, PM me! We can get through it together if you'd like! Sending all the love and positive vibes to my friends here <3
I NEED to stop binging.
/u/berumotto
Created: Thu Oct 18 02:21:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p7bjh/i_need_to_stop_binging/
---
I was SO, SO close to my goal body. So close.
I'm not touching a scale with a ten foot pole. But my torso hurts *so badly.* I know I've stretched out my stomach a shit ton, and I feel so bloated and fat all around. I guess that's only natural after binging up to 4,000+ calories since Saturday.
I'm gonna try to take steps and prevent this from happening again. Gonna stop drinking for a while (since that seems to kick off every binge). If anyone here uses Peach, feel free to add me on that! I'm gonna track my progress there. @berumotto
Otherwise, if anyone has tips for anti-binging, that'd be helpful!
Just a bit of humour...have you guys ever heard this song before?
/u/Pollyhotpocketposts
Created: Thu Oct 18 01:58:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p7790/just_a_bit_of_humourhave_you_guys_ever_heard_this/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/BingeEatingDisorder/comments/9p6yt8/just_a_bit_of_humourhave_you_guys_ever_heard_this/
[Help] Has anyone taken the “mini pill” for birth control?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Thu Oct 18 01:47:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p753d/has_anyone_taken_the_mini_pill_for_birth_control/
---
I was just put on it ... and I haven’t been on birth control in a while so I’m TERRIFIED of the weight gain
Has anyone experienced weight gain? Any other side effects? Please be honest, I need to know!!
[Rant/Rave] At night I get so hungry
/u/tinygrl22 [5'1 | CW: 107lbs | 20.2 | 19F |]
Created: Thu Oct 18 01:15:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p6ytj/at_night_i_get_so_hungry/
---
I’ve been eating one meal a day for awhile and it keeps me satisfied usually all day but then at night I get so hungry my stomach constantly growls and I crave literally EVERY thing. Like every single food sounds SO good and it’s so miserable telling myself DO NOT go out and get food wait til tomorrow. I never go get any food but I just wanna eat everything whenever I want and not gain any fucking weight like godDAMN
[Rant/Rave] Vent here about people's inability to see size and weight accurately (including our own lmao)
/u/markexclamationmark
Created: Thu Oct 18 00:43:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p6s5i/vent_here_about_peoples_inability_to_see_size_and/
---
My recent gripe comes from the fact that I have been gaining and losing the same 7kg all fucking year (gaining more than losing fml 😢). Every time I'm on a losing streak, my friend goes "😯 have you lost MORE weight??" and his tone is like "you've lost soooo much weight, when are you gonna stop?"
Honey. No.
I'm smack bang in the middle of my HW and LW for this year WHICH YOU SAW ME AT. Not to mention you were much nicer to me at my LW *sips tea
I hate hate hate any comments on my weight whether it's positive or negative, so to get comments like that without even the payoff of net weightloss is infuriating 😑
I need to try and get used to it though... I've been over/high-normal weight for as long as my friends have known me. By the time I make it to my goal BMI of 18, I know everyone will have something to say about it.
[Rant/Rave] I regret all the times I thought i was “fat” when I was actually skinny.
/u/ohcrapitsmyface
Created: Thu Oct 18 00:13:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p6lti/i_regret_all_the_times_i_thought_i_was_fat_when_i/
---
I remember trying on a dress for my high school graduation. I had just finished treatment for anorexia. I tried on my usual size (00) but it was too small. I had to wear a size 2. I was absolutely devastated.
Yeah so 10 years later, I wear a size 8-10. I’d kill to be “fat” like I was at my high school graduation. Doesn’t help that my reunion is coming up in a few months and I look like a cow.
So. I've gained 10lbs in 3 days, and I kinda want to die.
/u/AnyThrillWillDo
Created: Thu Oct 18 00:08:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p6kmn/so_ive_gained_10lbs_in_3_days_and_i_kinda_want_to/
---
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
My brain barely even registered what I saw on the scale today. I've gone through a great restriction period where I've been really in control of my intake lately. I was feeling amazing. Plus, I even have an over productive thyroid right now, and that bitch is helping me out. For the first time ever, my metabolism is not totally shit.
I got to the lowest weight I've seen in like 6 months on Sunday. I'd been really restricting the whole week before, honestly feeling so great. Had a few drinks the night before which probably helped the scale move.
Then I fucked up. Had a couple days of overeating and being out of control. It wasn't even THAT bad. Like I've had way worse as far as binges go. Also my period started two days ago as well. Was actually more on time than usual, probably because of the upped food intake. My appetite was back in control today, and I pretty much just fasted. I did have a good bit of water. I got curious about how bad the carnage was and got on the scale, expecting 5 or 6lbs at the most. Nope. 10. Fucking. Pounds. That is fucking insane.
Right now I'm planning my strategy on how to unfuck myself. My anniversary with my bf is coming up in like 5 days. He had been noticing my weight loss lately, and he had been giving me so many compliments about my body. I'm thinking I'm going to have to fast. Maybe some water pills. God I'm so fucking pissed. No wonder the past couple days I've felt so totally out of control of my life.
Skin changes while restricting
/u/hamaesa [5'5|CW:105|LW: 87|GW: 97|F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 23:52:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p6h8y/skin_changes_while_restricting/
---
Hey all, I had a question about, as the title suggests, some of the skin changes you've encountered while restricting. When I had been long-term restricting a few years ago, I remember my skin being tighter, brighter, clearer, firmer... Of course, I was fifteen, but even for that age my skin was just flawless. When I see it in photos, I'm reminded of how nice it was.
My ranting aside-- have any of you experienced any skin changes at low weights/low intake amounts? Was your skin dryer, softer, scaly, sallow, clear, tight, what? I'd be interested to hear your experiences.
[Goal] I'm taking up swimming?
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 17 23:45:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p6ft0/im_taking_up_swimming/
---
My friend asked me to join her swimming, and so I got a bathing suit (hate buying those and I am pretty tall so they didnt even have a larger size but I am NOT a european 42 anyways THANK YOU). And then I realized there's also a swimming place on the way to My work. Maybe I could take up swimming? Does anyone here swim? I am thinking I could get a lot of both thinspo and reverse thinspo from it, too :P
(Going in an hour or so)
This shit is So Stupid sometimes....
/u/averybluebitch [19f | 5'4 | lw: 52kg | cw 55,5kg | gw: ???]
Created: Wed Oct 17 23:22:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p6aw1/this_shit_is_so_stupid_sometimes/
---
So, like, I've been feeling kind of Extra Depressed ™ today, whatever. And although I usually binge when I'm sad, tonight I'm completely content with what I've eaten, a bit full even. I have no desire to binge. And it's fucking me up a lot because I kinda feel like I should binge, even though I don't even want to????
​
Welp, guess I should maybe find another unhealthy coping method for when it happens.
I laughed at a customer today.
/u/famarino [5’3 | CW: 103| 18.3 | UGW: 90| F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 23:10:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p68c7/i_laughed_at_a_customer_today/
---
Story time!
I work in food service at a dining hall on my university’s campus, and every morning that I work, the lacrosse team comes in and I overhear their ~interesting~ food conversations. This morning, a bunch of players ganged up on one for not eating enough calories, which spurred on a length conversation about daily calorie intake. Which is when I heard the following verbatim:
Guy 1: “dude the best way to build muscle is to just pack on the calories, literally any will do, just get em in.”
Guy 2: “yeah and in order to do that, you totally gotta drink your calories.”
Guy 1: “OH DUDE YOU GOTTA.”
Guy 2: “Yeah I toss back Pepsis constantly, man.”
And that’s when I FUCKING SCHOOLGIRL GIGGLED into the hash-browns I was dishing out for another lacrosse player and they all stopped and glared at me. I honestly never laugh out loud at anything - I watch every comedy special and show completely straight faced and always internally laugh - but I absolutely could not contain myself. Maybe I spend too much time on r/ProEDmemes, idk. I’m so disordered jfc.
[Discussion] Does anyone else here smoke cigarettes?
/u/xivviimmxvii
Created: Wed Oct 17 23:10:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p68ac/does_anyone_else_here_smoke_cigarettes/
---
Do you feel like it helps suppress your appetite, or does it make a difference? And for those of you who exercise, do you feel it’s affected your breathing?
Switch Therapy I would like to try a Freaky Friday
/u/mamag84
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:48:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p633k/switch_therapy_i_would_like_to_try_a_freaky_friday/
---
I think it would be cool if we could actually do a version of Freaky Friday with important people in our lives. I know where can not literally switch bodies but think about the switches boyfriends and girlfriends (go to each other jobs for a day, hang out with a friend), as a caregiver be your patient for a day (if they can't move a limb, or stand up or bed ridden take on that ailment), parents and kids ( set us a Saturday mock day for stents go to school for day 4-5 hours kids go to their parents work and volunteer or visit with their parents because boss or co workers, siblings. What if you could work where they work for a day, trying to survive just one of their days. I would like to see if some jobs could allow this sign up with their HR departments and complete tasks assigned to you that day. Dress as they do, take their drive to and from work at the hours they do. It something we all wish could try but beside the whole switching bodies what's really holding us back from trying this concept?
Lost 40 pounds since my breakup
/u/sxbrina0
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:34:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5zvf/lost_40_pounds_since_my_breakup/
---
Don't really have anyone to tell about this super huge accomplishment without getting any huge concerns, but hopefully y'all can appreciate it.
I've been working out like crazy. and I'm only 10 more pounds until my goal weight!!
How the hell do I not binge at night?
/u/ital21978566556432f
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:23:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5x8j/how_the_hell_do_i_not_binge_at_night/
---
I'm so sick and tired of it I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. How could I be so focused during the day and turn into an animal at night? I wanna reach my goal weight so badly it's fucking killing me.
I drew a self portrait
/u/Gyuu
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:15:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5vax/i_drew_a_self_portrait/
---
https://i.redd.it/469c87ftdvs11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] My roommate has turned up the heat in our room and now shut off the air from kicking on and I’m sweating to death
/u/malificentbeauty [5'2.5 | SW 150 | GW 110 | -9 | 21F ]
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5ud9/my_roommate_has_turned_up_the_heat_in_our_room/
---
My roommate is not a reasonable person. When it was warm outside she never wanted the air to kick on in our room, leaving me to be in a humid muggy room that I couldn’t even breathe in. When I turned the air down multiple times cause it was fucking hot she cussed me out. In another situation with lighting when I was going to sleep, she called me a bitch.
We had a mediation and worked some shit out.
Now the weather has changed though. The heat has now kicked on. And just my luck, the knob is on her side of the fucking room. I heard her turn it warmer earlier this evening when she thought I had gone to sleep and just a while ago when the air tried to turn on cause it’s a sauna, she got up and shut. it. OFF. Now I can’t sleep because I’m hot as fuck and it’s currently midnight. And I don’t want to confront her tomorrow because of her anger issues. This is fantastic.
i’m finally moving out into my very own apartment!
/u/dingbiscuit [5'6 | 197 | -6 | 19F | 🍑 naranja]
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5ua5/im_finally_moving_out_into_my_very_own_apartment/
---
that means i can finally eat rice cakes with popcorn seasoning for breakfast lunch and dinner in PEACE
Someone please tell me it's going to be okay
/u/cattivity
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:05:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5ssa/someone_please_tell_me_its_going_to_be_okay/
---
Last week I binged on somewhere around 4000 calories,
Today I fucking sat in the breakroom of my work and wolfed down like 6 candy bars, a ham and cheese croissant, a cookie, a sandwich and a bag of hot cheetos. Not all in the breakroom obvi I'd be too embarassed but I ate all of this is in the span of 3 hours. I have been eating 1200-1300 cals a day. I don't know whats wrong with me. I just lost control and kept eating even though I felt sick. I'm so scared of gaining and reversing all the progress I've made (I have lost around 65 lbs).
Im scared that I won't be able to keep myself under control and I'll keep binging.
Realistically how much do you think I have gained? Planning on fasting tomorrow.
I'm honestly just thinking of topping it all off and eating this whole pint of ice cream lmao I hate myself
[Rant/Rave] I can’t ever make positive changes in my life.
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Wed Oct 17 22:00:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5rfr/i_cant_ever_make_positive_changes_in_my_life/
---
I posted earlier this week about leaving but since then have already decided against it. I don’t know why, really. I guess just my intense fear of being alone (the combination of bpd and codependency is a real bitch).
Since then, we’ve discussed things we need to “work through.” But like, I know I’ll fuck up again. I’ll always, always fuck up again. I had to explain today how my girlfriend wasn’t empathetic when I was upset and I could tell I was “making her feel like shit again” but I couldn’t think of a lie and didn’t really want to. I was also guilt tripped yet again about “demanding” they not have sex without me (it wasn’t a demand; it was a one time request. It’s brought up a lot).
So how do I cope with them not caring? How do I cope with them having sex without me and viewing me as toxic and only REALLY wanting/needing me here for my money?
I purge. Throw up in the toilet. Take laxatives. Then drink vodka. Tomorrow, I have a personal training session and I just hope I don’t shit myself. That’s all I can hope for. I need to start restricting more again, too.
My life sucks. And I’m the reason why. Everything is my fault, all the time, and it doesn’t get better. I make everyone around me feel like shit. I’m only needed for my paycheck.
I want to die, but I know I won’t kill myself (intentionally at least). That’s all over now. I realized that when the last time I was admitted, I sat in the ER alone and knew I could swallow a glove and the glove would block my airway and I could die right then and there.
But I didn’t. I was too scared. Too much of a pussy to kill myself. So I just didn’t. And now I know I never will because I just can’t.
When you get a craving for junk food, what do you do?
/u/GameofLoans16 [5'2.5'' | Too high | Too high | Not enough | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:57:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5qvn/when_you_get_a_craving_for_junk_food_what_do_you/
---
Earlier I had a craving for a Taco Bell Crunch Wrap Supreme. I didn’t get one, but I was close.
When you get cravings for junk food, what do ty do?
[Rant/Rave] DAE feel like they have nothing going for them
/u/lindaiyu
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:53:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5ps5/dae_feel_like_they_have_nothing_going_for_them/
---
I really don’t want to dive into the same old period of self loathing and inadequacy that I felt last year
But can I just say...
Why are other girls so perfect?
I’m in a 99% female environment at school and almost all the girls around me are just so fucking perfect. They are pretty, popular, smart, the whole package. Whats more, most of them are in serious relationships with some pretty hot dudes.I
What do I even have? Okay so I’m tall and sort of skinny. That’s literally it. I have like 3 friends. My social life is non existent. My love life is just sad. I DONT EVEN GET GOOD GRADES. Seriously at least I used to be “the smart one”. Now...there’s just like constant elevator music playing min my head.
*Chandler Bing impression * Could my life BE any sadder?
EC Stack questions, all experiences would be helpful!!
/u/onerousboners
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:40:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5mia/ec_stack_questions_all_experiences_would_be/
---
My partner is going away this weekend (mandatory work stuff) and I'm thinking I want to try either fasting, EC stacking, or both.
The guide u/ignarado made is great, and I will be using the beginner recommended dosage for Saturday (maybe tweak it for Sunday), but I have some questions.
I understand it supresses your appetite, do y'all fast completely while stacking? What does it feel like throughout the experience? If you do eat, what do you eat? When do you eat it: before, during, after? How long does the first dosage of pills last? What does the "come down" feel like? Is there even a come down? Is it going to be hard to sleep after it wears off? What do you like to do while under its effects? I understand this is typically used for exercise/working out. If you do work out while stacking, what do you do? Weights, cardio? If I go on a run, how long should I push myself to go? (I suck at exercise, typically I run maybe once/twice a week for 30 minutes and/or do some 30 min videos off YouTube, if that means anything.)
It's the weekend, so I dont have work, dont have anywhere to be, don't have anything to do (though I should clean my house). It's the ideal time to try something, and really push myself. I really want to learn my limits and maybe kickstart a habit of exercising more.
I'm looking for any and all experiences. I've also never been able to fast; I end up feeling groggy and useless at work and then eating my whole fucking kitchen at night. Any experiences or tips with a weekend/48 hour fast would also be appreciated!
How are you going to treat yourself when you reach your UGW?
/u/mks_993 [5'6| 131| 21.1 | GW: 110 |F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:21:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5hx1/how_are_you_going_to_treat_yourself_when_you/
---
I think I’m going to get lip injections😝
Any people here in their mid to late 20s?
/u/moth-wristed
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:19:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5hdb/any_people_here_in_their_mid_to_late_20s/
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Just checking in. People my age have kids, are married. I'm married too. But I also have this fucking demon that I feel I've lived with for 12 years. How does approaching 30 change your eating habits, if at all?
When I was in middle school, my mom would wear my jeans.
/u/BreMarieNirvana
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:16:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5gpu/when_i_was_in_middle_school_my_mom_would_wear_my/
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She thought it was so cute. I begged her to stop doing it, explaining that 1)it made me uncomfortable and 2) seeing my overweight mother in my jeans did not make me feel good about myself or my body. (Well, in "kinder" words).
Thin classmates, bullying, the number on the scale, etc., didn't matter until she started doing that. I still don't know why she did it, and why it was such a huge argument for her, like she didn't have her own pants.
The worst part is, she'd openly call herself fat/ugly while simatanously wearing my clothes. If she was fat and ugly, and could fit in my 12 year old jeans, what did that make me?
Sorry if that was a little incoherent, I just thought about it and it was upsetting. Did anyone else experience something similar? Just had to get that off my chest.
[Rant/Rave] gOd im emotional
/u/scaledrops [5'8" | CW: too much | i do art | F16]
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:13:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5fuh/god_im_emotional/
---
its beena. rough half of the week.
i binged over the weekend, rough and i told myself it'd get better
monday i had a stomach bug, i couldnt keep anything down and it burned
tuesday i just felt bad
and today was shit.
i changed my outfit 4 times because i felt fat in everything
my mom made a weight comment bc ive been less restrictive
and
ive been struggling in my classes and we got an essay back today in english and i just BROKE
it was a solid 10 minutes before i could stop crying
and now here i am
lying in bed, crying befause im scared my boyfriend's gonna leave me.
he has no reason to, i just feel like im not good enough
Harder than before
/u/smolpriincess
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:12:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5fji/harder_than_before/
---
I've struggled with my eating disorder for well over 10 years. I've noticed recently that it is way harder than before to fast and live my life. I work 2 jobs now and before I was going to school online chilling at home all day so obviously it was easier it just fucking sucks lol. sorry just had to rant for a moment and get this out. any tips for heavily restricting while working so I don't feel like I'm about to die? both jobs I'm standing 99 percent of the time.
Recovery stories?
/u/SheKnowsMore [5'5 | Nope | Too much | 0 | Queer]
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:11:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5f9d/recovery_stories/
---
I realize peeps that are in recovery might not be hanging out here, but I'm going to try asking just in case. What did your treatment plan look like during recovery? What's it been like?
(I fucking hate the word recovery, though. I've always had PTSD, and I've had disordered eating and/or an ED for most of my life. There is no return to normal here, but whatever.)
I'm mostly curious about other people's recoveries because it's something I'm considering. I have started the intake process at a local ED clinic, they recommended IDP for me. I can't take that kind of time off, nor can I really swing the time for the IOP. I'm looking at only being able to do outpatient therapy, but we're still trying to figure out what that treatment plan would even look like, since it's a lower level of care than they'd prefer.
I had my EKG and bloodwork done earlier this week and the labs all came back normal. The EKG was not great, though so I have to have another done next week.
Has anyone had much recovery success just going the outpatient route?
[Rant/Rave] All my friends were supportive of weight loss until weight loss started to happen
/u/gayprincess96
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:07:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5eas/all_my_friends_were_supportive_of_weight_loss/
---
“You are obsessed with your diet”
“You don’t talk or think about other things as much any more”
Well fuck you you you and you, I am tired of being the fat friend, the ugly friend, the whale
Idgaf if eating 600cal a day is the unhealthiest way to do it either, because it’s working and the numbers are going down. One day, I won’t be reverse thinspo and I’ll actually look so underweight I’ll scare everyone, and I can’t fucking wait
Sue me
Lanugo?
/u/alliwantisskinny [5'7 | 113 | 17.7 | -10 | female]
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:07:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5e50/lanugo/
---
so I have this white hair all over my face, boobs, and somewhat on my tummy. how can I tell if its lanugo or just regular hair? I cant even remember when it got there i just sort of noticed it one day.
[Discussion] 5"2's or other shorties, when could you physically see your weight loss?
/u/ZoAbii [5"2 | 18.2 | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 17 21:06:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5dyz/52s_or_other_shorties_when_could_you_physically/
---
Asking because in the last few months I've gone from around a BMI of 20 to 18.2 but it doesn't seem like that much difference. I've had to go down a few sizes in pants and my old stuff is quite loose on me now. BUT, if I'm standing in front of the mirror with no clothes on I can hardly tell that I've lost? Sometimes my legs might look thinner, but the next day I think differently. Same about my ribs, arms, and collarbones. Like, I KNOW I've lost weight, the scale says it all (went from roughly 50kg's to 45kg's). I thought a 5kg loss on a someone who's not that tall would be more noticeable :(
[Discussion] Body checking
/u/trapped_underrice
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:58:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5c27/body_checking/
---
So this is something that I literally only thought that I didn’t until I found out that there was a name for it!!
I don’t weight myself other than in the morning after I’ve peed, completely naked.
During the day I find myself taking tons of pictures of my body and immediately deleting them, and wrapping my hands around parts of my body.
I’ll even go to the bathroom during the day literally just to do this lol.
Wanna post our body checks?
Part of it is curiosity for what other people do. And just sharing progress/why I do it.
[these](https://imgur.com/a/Jqrjmzu) are straight up outfits that I literally just put on in my house sometimes, because they’re goal outfits. When I lose 10lbs I want to wear them to the gym haaha. Wearing a tank top like that is so wild because I need to lose more fucking back fat and my love handles and if I wear a crop top I want a flat stomach.
This was probably stupid. I just think about this shit literally ALL day long.
My boyfriend commented on my roommate's weight loss
/u/DisguisedAsMe [5'3" | 115 lbs | BMI: 20.93| -13.7 | 21F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:51:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5abi/my_boyfriend_commented_on_my_roommates_weight_loss/
---
...and said "well at least shes trying." I dont think he meant it as a dig, but now it's all I can think about. And I feel like it's like an ED war zone now. I cannot eat more than her. She just got prescribed welbutrin and now is trying to lose weight, which is fine but she keeps on trying to make me eat while not eating at all! And I feel jealous of the comment my boyfriend said about her mostly. It really made me feel like he was noticing her body instead of mine since they used to date...
What do you wish the medical community knew?
/u/InSkyLimitEra [AN-R]
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:51:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p5a9r/what_do_you_wish_the_medical_community_knew/
---
For those who don’t know me, I’m a third year American medical student with an AN-R diagnosis and way too many hospitalizations in the past two years. Hi!
I just secured a research mentor and a research month to study whatever emergency medicine topic I want. I wanted to do something with eating disorders. I have a couple of potential research questions I am considering, but I wanted input from you guys in case there’s a greater need for something else to be investigated.
What do you wish physicians in general knew about eating disorders? Or about you and your experience with your illness? Have you ever gone to the emergency department for an eating-disorder-related reason? Were you upfront about the cause of symptoms? Do you think eating disorder patients have their needs adequately addressed in the emergency setting? What is lacking?
These are just jumping off points, but feel free to talk about whatever you want. None of this will be used in research or for any other purpose than to give me ideas. I’m not some sort of random narc from the medical community or anything, lol. I just wanted to hear from the people my research might benefit. And I already talk out loud to myself way too much. :P
Ideas? Suggestions? Thoughts? Experiences?
The unlisted YouTube channel that I made for you all is back with VIDEO #2: TREATMENT EXPERIENCES!
/u/lilpolymath [5'10" | CW 112 | BMI 15.7 | 24F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:46:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p595j/the_unlisted_youtube_channel_that_i_made_for_you/
---
https://youtu.be/d9kp71OikjY
[Rant/Rave] The unlisted YouTube channel that I made for you all is back with VIDEO #2: TREATMENT EXPERIENCES!
/u/lilpolymath [5'10" | CW 112 | BMI 15.7 | 24F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:44:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p58fy/the_unlisted_youtube_channel_that_i_made_for_you/
---
https://youtu.be/d9kp71OikjY
[Rant/Rave] The unlisted YouTube channel that I made for you all is back with VIDEO #2: TREATMENT EXPERIENCES!
/u/lilpolymath [5'10" | CW 112 | BMI 15.7 | 24F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:38:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p574b/the_unlisted_youtube_channel_that_i_made_for_you/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9kp71OikjY
I consider you all family.
/u/xStingx
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:37:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p56py/i_consider_you_all_family/
---
I haven't been here too long. I lurked for a couple of months or so before I actually began posting. I'm sitting here thinking about how crazy my Ed has gotten. It was so sudden. I started by trying to diet and lose weight because I was meeting up with some guy I fell in love with through reddit. We were gonna meet in the summer for my birthday and yeah I wanted to look hot not only for him but because I didn't want to spend another summer being unhappy with myself. Anyway almost halfway through my Ed (April) which started in January, we ended up fighting and stopped talking. Sometimes I blame him for my ED just to justify my wrongdoings. I went from fasting and restricting hard to restricting hard and purging. I went vegan, vegetarian, and pescitarian for the wrong reasons and I've destroyed myself mentally and physically because of this disorder. And yet... I still wake up, check the scale 10 times a day and purge almost everything I put in my mouth. I look in the mirror and I don't even know who I am anymore. Everything fucking sucks. But I know one thing, if it weren't for reddit and tumblr showing me that I'm not alone in this, I'd be far worse, I'm sure. So with that being said, even though I don't personally know any of you, I consider you my ED family. So thanks. ❤️
I’m going to a wedding tomorrow and I’m scared.
/u/mxrikruz
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:29:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p54py/im_going_to_a_wedding_tomorrow_and_im_scared/
---
For the most part I’m recovered, I’m going through a relapse right now though. Tomorrow it’s my mom’s cousin’s birthday and I just want to get out of school so I’m going. I’m scared for two reasons. Number one, I’ve gained weight and I don’t want to hear family members fucking talking about it. Number 2, I look disgusting. Number 3, there’s obviously going to be dinner afterwards and I’m going to be pissed at myself if I eat. My mom’s going to be pushing me to eat. I don’t need food. I don’t need all that greasy and terrible things.
Ate an entire 16 oz jar of peanut butter today...
/u/hamaesa [5'5|CW:105|LW: 87|GW: 97|F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:18:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p51xj/ate_an_entire_16_oz_jar_of_peanut_butter_today/
---
And a can of beans and three apples and a fruit smoothie and a full bag of tortilla chips and and a can of soup and hot cocoa and prunes and potatoes and salad and... wow!! Not a good day! Do any of you have an tips for cleaning out my system/ repairing this damage? Ps I don't purge by vomiting.
[Help] Things have escalated a bit
/u/rcherry72
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:16:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p51fc/things_have_escalated_a_bit/
---
So I have bulimia and it’s getting bad. I throw up at least once a day or more. I know that other people have it worse but I just reallly need help. Everything has gotten worse. I naturally feel sick after eating so I feel like I have to throw up. And I can’t stand looking in the mirror.
If there is anyone that has been through this that can talk to me, I’d really appreciate it
[Rant/Rave] im so tired of this
/u/obviouslynotjackie
Created: Wed Oct 17 20:11:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p504r/im_so_tired_of_this/
---
i hate living in constant fear of calories. i hate worrying over how I’ll gain weight if I skip a workout session. I hate it I hate it I hate it.
I just wanna be able to enjoy a slice of pizza without worrying about the calories and sodium and fat and how I’ll burn it off. I wanna be able to skip a workout and not think I’ll gain weight. I wanna be able to think about other things, not about food and exercise and how ugly my body looks in certain clothes.
I want a donut. God, I want a donut so bad. A strawberry one, with nuts on top. I want bread and chicken nuggets and French fries. All I can think about is “300 calories for a donut?” And “if I eat that, I’ll just not eat for the rest of the day”
Well fuck :^)
/u/fishonthesun
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:55:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4vyf/well_fuck/
---
I told myself I'd eat the free ice cream and not purge and compensate by heavy restricting tomorrow. Looks like I feel so shitty for even thinking I could do that that I'm going to purge and heavy restrict. Dont you just love EDs?
(Mods could you flair rant/rave pls I'm on mobile)
[Rant/Rave] Shitty awful day.
/u/SmartOwls [F5'11 | CW:136.1 | GW:125| UGW:110 | ]
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:50:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4uv4/shitty_awful_day/
---
My husband and I were woken up at 2 am last night by Hydro banging on the door because the gas line under the street was leaking and they needed to unhook our furnace and hot water heater until they fixed it. Scared the shit out of us and of course we couldn't get back to sleep right away. They worked all through the night which, if we were sleeping, we wouldn't have been able to hear but because we were awake it was super fucking annoying. Then they show up at 6 am to give us a temporary hookup to the neighbours line. So all in all I got very little sleep last night.
Cue my brain going 'oh shit sleep is essential to weight loss and I got none and I've been having trouble restricting lately' and stressing over weighing.
So I ended up losing to 135.4 woohoo so I go to work in a relatively decent mood.
Then work is insanely busy. I don't feel like eating, I'm not even hungry but then FOR NO GODDAMN REASON, I eat a fucking granola bar! At 1pm!!! Like I wasn't hungry I wasn't craving it. I didn't even want it. But I grabbed it and ate it. Like wtf. Pissed at myself for breaking a fast ugh.
And my coworker offered me some crackers and nuts. And so I ate them. Again wasn't hungry wasn't craving them and normally when I'm in restrict mode I can say no without a second thought. But no it's like someone else was controlling my.body.
So I'm super on edge about everything at this point and tired and grumpy and yeah. So I go home and avoid dinner by hiding in my room but when I pass through the kitchen to go workout I stop to eat. Cucumbers with cheese, sliced meat with mustard and 2 egg muffin things. Like fuuuuuuck me. Again I didn't want it or crave it. It was like I couldn't stop myself. I wasn't fully in control but I wasn't crazy out of control binging. Like half in a dream almost.
So of course I spend the next 90 minutes on the stationary bike trying to burn it off . And I was still in a pissy mood. Even tho I ate and got endorphins from working out. And after working out I had more cucumbers and cheese and some of this energy ball filling that I haven't finished making into energy balls for the kids lunches yet. Fuck.
I know I'm going to gain tomorrow. Like I can feel it in my bones. It was so weird how I didn't want to eat. I wasn't hungry and I wasn't binging but I couldn't stop myself from eating! I was awake but not fully aware of what was happening. Autopilot sort of but then distraction too I guess? I was kinda bored and avoiding the giant list of housework I need to do.
Omg 3 kids and a house that's in the final touches stage of renovating and I'm the only one that cares if shit is clean or organized or PUT YOUR FUCKING SHIT WHERE IT BELONGS YOU NEANDERTHALS
Sorry for the rant.
TLDR: got no sleep, shitty mood, felt like I was in a dream state and couldn't stop eating. Losing control of my life and want to cry.
Yay pumpkins!! Mushy mushy.
/u/Sidehothrowaway [f | 31 | 151lbs lost | GW ?]
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:50:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4uug/yay_pumpkins_mushy_mushy/
---
Fuck. Yeah. PUMPKIN. Pie pumpkins are back at the grocery store and they're one of my favorite things. 8 ounces of roasted pumpkin is 50 calories and 9g net carbs. That's fantastic. It tastes nothing like that canned crap either. Really easy to cook too. Just cut the sucker in half, remove the seeds, cut it into 3×3 ish chunks, throw that in a covered pan in the oven at 375 for 45 minutes to an hour and 20 minutes (until fork tender depending on the pumpkin) and you're done!
Good with just salt and pepper! Or lemon pepper. Or curry, which is my favorite. Or you could mush it up with pumpkin spice and stevia and almond milk for a little treat. Or coconut milk in a sauce pot with some nutmeg for a pumpkin soup. This shit is the bees knees. And 8oz is a hefty portion and so so good for you!!! Just make sure it's a pie pumpkin and not a carving pumpkin (they're kinda gross).
Plus...you get to roast the seeds!
do you ever have moments where you “snap out of it”?
/u/staticphat [Height: 5'3 | CW: Jabba the Hutt | GW: Bikini Leia]
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:41:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4s7f/do_you_ever_have_moments_where_you_snap_out_of_it/
---
i have moments/days where i’ll not stress about calories and not care how fat i am but then it always turns into either binge eating or a whole week of hating and regret (w/ restricting too obviously)
it’s hard man i just wanna eat a meal and not care about how many calories i have left in the day or how fat im getting :(
Please please help
/u/moth-wristed
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4rdq/please_please_help/
---
I don't know - I gained ten pounds and I really want to die. I used to be so thin. But I'm so hungry all the time now. If I'm not eating I'm thinking about the next time I can eat. Please help me stop shoving my face. What helps you get into the restrictive mindset? What clicks?
[Help] I have to go back to work and I'm terrified
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:24:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4nw7/i_have_to_go_back_to_work_and_im_terrified/
---
So like two years ago I begged to be put in charge of the office weight loss contest because no one else was stepping up. To me it was the perfect excuse to indulge my ed. I ended up stressed out, way binging and all this on top of a super stressful customer service job where I pretty much get told to eat a bag of sicks whenever the customer screws up, can't pay their bill or doesn't understand how laws and contracts work.
I left on fmla for awhile, tried to come back and had a panic attack and left again. It's now been a year and the main HR office in another state has decided that I'm to return to work in the middle of December.
I'm glad to be returning. I miss the schedule and the job itself. But I'm worried about my anxiety, being supported adequately at work and most of all, my weight. I have to look better. I feel like a slob. I was 140lbs when I started there 5 years ago. I'm 200lbs now.
I simultaneously want to eat everything I can get my hands on and fast for the next 60 days.
Fml
[Discussion] I made a mistake TMI
/u/zaniathin [5’3” | CW: 151 | -9 lbs | F | Relapsed Again]
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:19:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4mfe/i_made_a_mistake_tmi/
---
I don’t usually use laxatives. I try to avoid them unless necessary because I understand how addictive they can be.
That being said I used ONE suppository.
ONE!!! That’s it!
I’ve been on the toilet for 20 fucking minutes!!
Last time I used this exact same suppository lax, it was ten minutes and clear. I waited the same amount of time, been the same amount of restriction as last time (under 200 calories).
I wouldn’t have even used it but I have to be a certain size measurement/weight tomorrow and can not afford to fail it.
I am miserable and hating myself right now.
On top of that, I’m wrapped up with a bunch of cling wrap because Preperation H underneath on my stomach and waist to hopefully shrink that area. AND I have a fucking corset on. Not one of those latex cinchers but a legitimate steel boned have to tighten like the Victorian age laces type of corset.
Fuck me. Tell me why I thought that the Army was the right choice for me? Tell me why it took me so long to relapse? 😂 how do more people in the Army not have EDs?!
I didn't (really) want to eat anyways.
/u/Sp00ks13
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:14:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4l5f/i_didnt_really_want_to_eat_anyways/
---
I have been craving steak for two weeks now. Finally planned some for today went for a 50 minute hike, 26 minutes on the elliptical, fasted all day, picked out a beautiful steak, seasoned it just right...and then my husband overcooked it. I didn't even want him to cook it, I had planned on doing it. So. Overcooked steak. Ruined. Two weeks of anticipation. Gone. Guess I'm just not eating today. I had to go isolate myself because I felt like crying.
I always feel so dumb and immature when I freak out over food being messed up but well, I do. I don't know why. I have since I was a little kid.
Who else uses adderall or vyvanse? Also guy troubles :))) WOOO! Come relate with me bitches
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:06:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4j38/who_else_uses_adderall_or_vyvanse_also_guy/
---
The handsome old fuck I’m seeing is really making me question everything and I think he’s leading me on:)))))) but he’s too charming and nice:))))))but I wanna wait it out to see if it’s just me being too crazy or mediocre even though I think he’s obviously leading me on and chasing other young taillll:)))
I’m so confused and angry lol. But some of yall have so much patience with boys??? 8 months? A year of bein fwbs? Tf?
If any of yall have an older hot uncle, tell that old fuck to stop PLAYIN. I’m SERIOUS.
Oh yeah and uh adderall amirite? I promised myself not to take it anymore even though I’m prescribed a tooon of it but I’m so tempted because fuck it.. right?!
Brb getting alcohol and coffee
tl;dr tell me your adderall/drug abuse weight loss and fuckboy stories
[Rant/Rave] First time with white monster
/u/elevenbravo274 [5'7 | 109 | 17.1 | 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 19:01:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4hq7/first_time_with_white_monster/
---
This research paper doesn’t stand a chance against me because I’m already super confident due to the fact that the white monster can is gorgeous and matched my outfit. I hope you all are having a good night!
Which is worse, binging or purging?
/u/MommyInTheMoshPit
Created: Wed Oct 17 18:50:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4eq2/which_is_worse_binging_or_purging/
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Which is worse for your body (or general health), if you're "normal" weight? Digesting a bunch of high calorie junk food, or purging it? Obviously the better choice is not to eat all the greasy carbs on planet Earth but if that's not an option at the time lol. Thoughts?
Guess who’s relapsing + a ramble
/u/staystressin
Created: Wed Oct 17 18:46:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4dm0/guess_whos_relapsing_a_ramble/
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It me.
I had all good intentions of just ‘eating healthier’ but I can feel old habits coming back.
God I can’t even say how thankful I am to have stumbled across this sub. I’ve lurked here for a week and relate to so many things that are posted.
After a couple years of trying to be ~~normal, all I want is to hit my LW again, and wish that I hadn’t done recovery so hard (ugh I’m sorry if that sounds fucked.)
I am, and always have done high restricting...so have always struggled with thinking that my disorder is for real. I just love the control that tracking food gives me, the rush from eating less than I planned for the day, the feeling like I’m WORKING towards something.
Anyway that’s my TED talk happy to be here
[Rant/Rave] Guys... guys my halloween costume fits... 😳
/u/mmblarg
Created: Wed Oct 17 18:45:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4dgt/guys_guys_my_halloween_costume_fits/
---
I kinda embarrassed myself a few days ago with a scary post on here (and to anyone who remembers it, I’m sorry! I’m ok, I promise!)
But on a much lighter note! My halloween costume from last year fits! It’s a corset piece and it was still tied in the back cause there is a zipper on the side too. I was able to cinch the back up completely AND put it on myself!!!
I bought it two years ago and my fat ass tore a seam when I tried to put it on by myself. The next year my husband had to help me put it on and it would barely cinch (has a bit of fabric under the ties that allows for 5 inches worth of cinching room)
I’m so happy! Still so fucking fat, but happy! I was really feeling down today because I’ve lost 20 pounds but I don’t see it at all and my pants all fit the same too. I even tried on a “when I was 20” shirt from back when i was around this same weight and it popped a button!
[Discussion] Having no desire to stop until you’re basically a feather?
/u/teahontas
Created: Wed Oct 17 18:44:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4d8t/having_no_desire_to_stop_until_youre_basically_a/
---
I don’t know if anyone else gets like this, and don’t get me wrong, the majority of the time I’m a giant whale and I don’t think anyone can despise me as much as I despise myself but...
I have these random moments, usually they’re followed by someone commenting on my weight loss, where I can suddenly feel that I’m lighter. I know I’m carrying around less weight than I was a month ago and once I can feel that significant loss, I just want to keep going and I don’t want to stop until I feel like a feather.
Oh boy part 2 - electric boogaloo
/u/basicvodkaboy
Created: Wed Oct 17 18:36:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p4azb/oh_boy_part_2_electric_boogaloo/
---
And another incohesive Rant about me constantly ruining myself.
So two days ago I had an appointment with my therapist. I love her. She’s the best.
We talked extensively about my eating disorder. I told her I eat around 1000 calories a day, which left her basically speechless. So. She told me I should try to eat *AT LEAST* 1600 calories. She told me I should manage to do that. *Bless her heart*. Heres the thing: I just reached my goal weight of 125lbs. My weight hasn’t been so low since I was 12. Do I want all that food weight from the extra 600 calories? Oh hell no.
So,I, trying to follow her advice, managed to eat 1600 calories two days ago. Fabulous, right?
Well; guess what happened next: I woke up yesterday and I could feel a storm cooking up. Regret. 1600 calories? Seriously? No thank you! I’m too fat for that!
I decided to fast. And I walked. I walked 18k steps. *Eighteenthousand steps. 18000.* I normally walk 7k.
And then I decided to buy a fucking bottle of vodka, because, you know, fuck fasting. I proceeded to drink 5 Vodka Tonics (Only 90 Cal when you use Tonic Water Zero! Such a treat! *So filling!*).
And then I proceeded to have sex with a 40 year old, bald muscular guy. Because, while we're at it, we can fuck it up hard. The worst thing is: he fucking worshipped my skinny ass. He prayed to me. I can't even remember his name.
Tl;dr: My life is a shit show and I can’t even believe I’m such a fucking mess right now. It’s 2:30 am and I can’t sleep because I’m hungry. Thank god McDonalds is closed at this ungodly hour. Anyways thanks guys fo coming to my ted talk
I need a reality check (Normal or not?)
/u/SpaceWhale88 [5'3 | CW 20lbs overweight | HW 197 | LW 122 | 30F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 18:26:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p489w/i_need_a_reality_check_normal_or_not/
---
So I grew up with the idea in my house that on a diet = being a little hungry all day = losing weight and that being full = maintaining or gaining weight. Isn't the whole point of a diet is that you deny yourself food you want? I'm having trouble with my food plan that I could be full but not gain because generally when I'm not hungry all fucking day its because I'm gaining weight.
My sponsor says its possible to lose weight and not be hungry all the time but that sounds like a perfect, impossible dream to me. Isn't this how all dieters feel? Or is this just a weird ED thing? Hungry = thin, full = fat. How could I lose weight without being hungry? If you are eating at a 500 calorie deficit shouldn't you be hungry frequently? Someone from another sub told me they lost 25lbs in 3 months without being hungry all day. Shit, if only I knew how that was possible (besides "just eat more veggies")! I've only lost 8lbs in a month when keeping my calories at less than 1000 to 1200 tops and thinking about food every second.
I gained 2lbs on vacation and the panic is setting in. I need to get this fat off me asap and I pretty much wasted the whole summer by putting my efforts into stopping purging and not losing weight. I still look like a blob and it kills me that I ever let myself get this gross in the first place. I have no one to blame but myself.
School windows
/u/astro-bandit [5'8 | CW: 122 | GW: 100 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 18:00:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p41g9/school_windows/
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I can make it through the morning feeling pretty good (and the night before) but as soon as I get to school that all goes out the window (no pun intended). There are these windows outside the gym, and whenever I walk toward them I suddenly see my true self, a FAT DISGUSTING pile of blubber. They make me look like 3x wider than everyone else and ugggghhhh it just ruins every ounce of my remaining self esteem. Sorry for ranting lol, this just always gets me.
Protip
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:47:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3xvj/protip/
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You can learn a lot about your city when you're walking 20k+ steps a day. Walk by all kinds of restaurants you'll never let yourself eat at, see all the bars you'll only order vodka sodas at, and look in the store windows at all the clothes you'd never allow yourself to wear!!!
This is so fun.
You know you're not doin' so good when...
/u/HungryThrowMeAway [🌹4'11 | CW 91-90 lbs | GW 85 lbs | -35 lbs | F🌹]
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:46:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3xnf/you_know_youre_not_doin_so_good_when/
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Sooo I've been having a complete out-of-my-head-trippin-out-of-reality-feels-like-I'm-dying mental breakdown for the past few days, so I went to get some horse tranquilizer (wellll apo lorazepam technically but same thing amiright) from the doctor today, and he said it needs to be dissolved under the tongue, so let's just say that now my Google search history includes:
"How many calories in apo lorazepam"
When you're Googling the calories in your crazy pills/moose sedatives is when you know you've hit a gReAt point in your life ahaha.
[Rant/Rave] “You press order. Your heart races.” You don’t know the half of it, Grubhub.
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:37:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3v9a/you_press_order_your_heart_races_you_dont_know/
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https://i.redd.it/6nwaopxc0us11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] “You press order. Your heart races.” You don’t know the half of it, Grubhub.
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:35:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3uj4/you_press_order_your_heart_races_you_dont_know/
---
https://i.redd.it/rbjospavzts11.jpg
Hello! First post here (Always hungry, over eat & then puke)
/u/Rosckovia
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:26:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3s7r/hello_first_post_here_always_hungry_over_eat_then/
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So for most of my life I’ve struggled with annorexia because of neglect as a child. My parents were either too high to feed me or they just completely forgot. Getting past that was difficult, especially with my growth spurts happening at around 12-16. I was 5’10 and 105lbs, and constantly made fun of for looking like a stick. I joined the military at 17, gained 95lbs in two years (is that healthy?) and now I’m sitting at 200-210 constantly at 6’1. My concern is constantly being hungry. I could literally eat a full steak dinner with mashed potatoes and salad and still be hungry.
I was diagnosed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and since taking the anti depressants they gave me, I have not gone more than a hour without feeling hungry in 14 months now. I’ve tried switching medications, not taking them at all, taking them, leaning my bodies dependency off of them, nothing works. I brought it up to my doctor and she said it sounds like if I’ve been like this for as long as it’s been going on, there’s really nothing I can do and I’ll have to learn how to live with it. This makes me extremely confused on when, and how much food to eat.
After being bullied all through middle and high school, the last thing I want is to loose all this weight I worked so hard to gain. But now, Everytime I eat I’m throwing up all my food. I literally cannot stop eating once I start. I’ve accidentally (yes, accidentally) eaten two whole medium pizzas to myself without noticing because I just kept getting two pieces and going back, thinking I would fill up and stop. After awhile I went back to get more food and realized both boxes were empty and I had actually just eaten both of them. Around 5-10 minutes later I got extremely nauseous then puked up everything I ate. After I do puke, I no longer have the appetite to get calories that my body needs back into my system.
I guess my question is this- how do I stop doing this? Even if I meal prep, I’ll literally eat, get hungry 5 minutes later, go eat again then puke up both meals. I’m tired of feeling like a freak because I can’t control how much I eat. Thankyou!
I don't know if I belong here
/u/Doodle111
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:25:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3rpg/i_dont_know_if_i_belong_here/
---
Intermittent fasting - not ED, lifestyle.
1200 calories a day - not ED, diet.
Laxatives- not ED, necessary because of my psych meds.
Carrying liquid stevia in my purse - not ED, have to keep my blood sugar steady.
Drinking 0 calorie energy drinks instead of breakfast - not ED, part of IF.
Enjoying the lightheadedness that comes with a 600 cal day - not ED, better control over my cravings.
Stepping on the scale every day and feeling ashamed if it's not slightly less than the number from yesterday.....
Hiding bronkaid from my family and sneaking it every few hours once or twice a week....
Eating two slices of pizza at lunch and feeling so full and bloated and disgusted that I start planning purging *just one time*....
:(
Why did I not lose anything when I fasted for over a day and a half?
/u/Dovahkiin14
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3o5n/why_did_i_not_lose_anything_when_i_fasted_for/
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Can mods flair this as a question? I’m on mobile.
Monday was my brothers birthday and so I was forced to eat so no one would get suspicious. Since then I didn’t eat at all yesterday, and today I ate about half an hour ago. Before I ate I checked the scale and it’s still the exact same as it was when I checked yesterday, to the point. Usually I have a 500cal limit per day. I also had Taekwondo(a martial art form) yesterday for an hour, and I even exercised a little after. So I know I burned well over the calories I consumed, which were 0. I usually weigh myself about the same time everyday. And every day I lose at least a pound. As well as the exercise I did in the afternoon, I have to walk around quite a bit during school, and I’m sure that burns a little calories. I also do the thing where you like bounce(?) your leg when you’re sitting and it burns a few calories too. Can anyone tell me why I didn’t lose anything? I’m pretty upset and I want to know what I did wrong. Please help, thank you:)
Repost, but relevant
/u/qotsagirl314
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:05:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3m8s/repost_but_relevant/
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https://imgur.com/1uSj7JF.jpg
[Discussion] Purging?
/u/sailorskinny [5'3" | CW: 110 | 19.5 | HW: 172 | ]
Created: Wed Oct 17 17:02:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3lm5/purging/
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Everytime I try to purge my body just can't do it. Whether it's 5 minutes or 25 minutes after. I've read that some people do after a short period of time and some people do after a while but either way it won't work for me. Is my body holding on to the food I'm ingesting that hard because of restricting? I know people warn against b/p because it's so damaging and becomes extremely hard to stop. It's just odd to me that I can't do it.
Who here has tried OMAD/IMF? I'd love to hear your stories!
/u/-PM-ME-NICE-THINGS- [5"2 | CW: 51kg | BMI: 20.6 | Ortho]
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:59:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3kpq/who_here_has_tried_omadimf_id_love_to_hear_your/
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Basically, I'm thinking about giving OMAD a try.
I went from being a binge eater, to orthorexic, to binge eating again. I'm not sure how to reign in my behaviour without ending up orthorexic again (I just seem to be a pendulum, swinging from one side to the other) and was hoping someone could tell me how they got on if they've done this?
I have tried volume eating before but I just found that I was essentially binge eating low calorie food 'because I could' and then became too scared to eat anything over 150kcals in a sitting. I think this was because I was so used to eating multiple cucumbers and bags of lettuce for next to nothing that a 400kcal potato with a filling seemed outrageous - all relative I suppose.
In a twisted sense I almost wouldn't mind being orthorexic again because then at least I *cared* about what went in my body. I loaded myself with fruit, vegetables, legumes and oily fish and vitamin tablets. Now I'll have just about anything I can stuff in me somehow, I know it's just me kidding myself on with the 'grass is always greener' but gosh.
If you have done OMAD, how did that work for you? Hit or miss?
[Discussion] Weekly calorie question
/u/getfreefromfood
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:58:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3kci/weekly_calorie_question/
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For those of you who allow yourself x amount of calories per week, what do you set it at? I’m thinking of trying this method for a bit to see how it goes but I don’t know if I want to set it at 3500 for the week or 2100. Especially when I want like 1780000.
[Rant/Rave] Major flipflopping guilt
/u/coffeexsmokes [5'2" | 100 | -50 | 21F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:57:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3k21/major_flipflopping_guilt/
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I am feeling majorly guilty and worse everyday because recently I started trying to post and be more active in the exproed subreddit because I know I SHOULD be recovering. HOWEVER all I want to do is relapse in the hardest fastest way possible and I feel like such a fake fucking fraud now for posting in either of these subreddits and I just needed to get this off my chest because it has been upsetting me for days and I feel so isolated right now.
A love letter to very young small sweet peas.
/u/-bluehoney- [5'3" | sw 187 | cw 163.4 | gw 120 | ƒ |🍑bluehoney]
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:56:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3jo1/a_love_letter_to_very_young_small_sweet_peas/
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You are so. Fucking. Yummy.
Canned. Faithfully waiting in my pantry. I opened my pantry for the first time in a week, saw a whole box of you, and sobbed with joy. (A thoughtful gift from my boyfriend. Don’t worry though, you’re my true love).
A childhood favorite. Previously throughout my life defiled by being cooked with butter, but you are so lovely on your own! Soft and mushy but still wonderful little balls of fucking fantastic, delicious green goodness. Sweet, but you don’t mind to have a pinch of salt stirred in.
I admire you. No matter the time, place, or state of my mental health, you are always welcome. I am never NOT happy to see you. You compliment every meal. So wholesome. So generous. So nutritious. Thank you for being a part of my life, my ultimate safe food.
Sincerely,
Your biggest fan, bluehoney
Y’all I just have a lot of feels about peas
[Help] What would be the safest food to get on this menu?
/u/RachAgainstLeMachine [5'3 🌻 CW: 93lbs 🌻 21F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:49:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3hs1/what_would_be_the_safest_food_to_get_on_this_menu/
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http://www.chateaurestaurant.com/our-menus/dinner
I haven’t eaten all day and I really don’t want to ruin it with a high calorie meal. What’s the best choice I could get on this menu (pescatarian). I’m looking for 700 cal or less.
I was thinking the either broiled scrod/haddock w/ butternut squash, minestrone soup, or salad.
I know the fish is probably higher in calories, but I want the protein.
I hate Italian restaurants lol they’re so stressful
Safe zone
/u/Polarplaid
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:49:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3hps/safe_zone/
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https://i.redd.it/0tflripnrts11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] i thought i would try to get some help...
/u/kitterfly [5' 7.5" | CW 142 | BMI 21.9 |F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:43:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3g3i/i_thought_i_would_try_to_get_some_help/
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I just went and had a appointment with a nutritionist. This is the second time I've gone to see her.
AND I left there feeling less shitty. I would even go so far as to say I felt less afraid about maybe eating a little bit more, especially since I exercise quite a bit (live love cross country!).
Until I got to the waiting room again. The girl who went in after me was so skinny and pretty. I walked out feeling like a total failure. I feel like the nutritionist can't possibly take me seriously because I'm a healthy weight and I can't even properly restrict AND I'm afraid to talk to her about what's really going on inside my head (ie the real issues here)
I ended up bullshitting some answers to her questions because I felt so on the spot... No, I don't count calories... I only weight myself about once a week. Meanwhile your girl religiously uses mfp and I weigh myself at least daily if not multiple times. i desperately want to lose some weight (not even unhealthy given my weight and bmi!) but I'm afraid to communicate that to her lol. My whole motivation for seeing her was trying to find a way to lose weight WITHOUT going off the deep end again. I'm too awkward to come out and actually say that to her.... the only takeaway I feel like I have for today is "try eating some more!" which is not particularly helpful
[Rant/Rave] Periods suck ass.
/u/crookedlypoetic [5'7" | 196.8 | 30.? | 78.2 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 16:30:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p3cm3/periods_suck_ass/
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I know its coming, I can just FEEL the bloat creeping up on me and I hate this feeling. I wanted to fast for most of this week which just will not work. See my hormones make me an absolute monster if I do not eat while Satan's waterfall is impending. Even my Fiance gave me the side eye and said "I know you want to be fasting, and I support that BUT your period hangry is really bad. Can you just restrict through this week?"
For his sake I will obviously but bleh it already feels like failure. I know I need to stay AWAY from the scale and AWAY from my binge trigger foods which I am doing so far. Logically I know restricting will still let me lose weight but food in my stomach just feels bad and heavy.
[Help] i’m extremely worried for my friend, not sure how to help
/u/-lamp-
Created: Wed Oct 17 15:19:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2rlb/im_extremely_worried_for_my_friend_not_sure_how/
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idk what to flair this as, sorry if it needs one.
my friend has always been kinda overweight, but hasn’t had issues with herself until recently (at least that I know of. idk.)
she’s been talking about her weight negatively a lot, she told me she hasn’t eaten in days. i don’t want her going through what I had to at all but I really don’t know how to help. any advice?
[Rant/Rave] dae want to recover without actually gaining weight?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | relapse| gw: 97 | 23f]
Created: Wed Oct 17 15:09:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2ofl/dae_want_to_recover_without_actually_gaining/
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like, hypothetically i would be SO DOWN to have a normal and healthy relationship with food. eating above my TDEE (or more realistically, regularly going above 1,000 calories a day) without freaking out and compensating with exercise/restriction/fasting? hell yeah. sounds awesome. but the thought of actually \*gaining weight\* freaks me tf out. i love being skinny. i would never (could never?) feel good about being an "average" weight or heavier. maybe it's just because i've been #disordered for so long that having a normal relationship with food is a distant memory, but i just can't imagine feeling okay with recovering and gaining.
​
i guess that's why a lot of "recovered" people i know are still almost-underweight...
Healthy BMI, Unhealthily Obtained
/u/slenderdyke
Created: Wed Oct 17 15:09:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2odj/healthy_bmi_unhealthily_obtained/
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For the first time since I was a literal child, I’m not overweight. My cellulite is gone. My jaw and cheekbones are poppin.
My hair is falling out, my vision blacked out in the shower this morning, I’ve got to replace my wardrobe, I’ve lost all my friends because I never leave my dorm, I have to figure out how to hide the speed of the loss from my family, I’m still single and haven’t noticed a change in my romantic life (I guess people check me out more, but they don’t do shit about it), and did I mention MY HAIR IS FALLING THE FUCK OUT
MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR
[Help] Apple cider vinegar just destroyed me?
/u/ChubbieToad
Created: Wed Oct 17 15:02:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2m6b/apple_cider_vinegar_just_destroyed_me/
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Hey guys so I ate my meal for the day and heard Apple cider vinegar does something or something so I decided to give it a try. First of all nobody mentioned how much I'd have to dilute it, so my throat burned and I instantly got the urge to puke I started gulping down water. But immediately my stomach started hurting a lot.
Why? I don't even remember what the benefits are of it but now I have it in the back of my throat and I feel like complete shit. I felt so good after eating then that ruined my day.
Ruining all my progress and losing hope. Sad vent inbound...
/u/SuicidalSuccubus [5'11.5" | 132 | 18.15 | GW 126]
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:58:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2l0j/ruining_all_my_progress_and_losing_hope_sad_vent/
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I went from a BMI of 24.2 to 17.9 after several months of consistent keto, IF and restriction. I was so proud of myself. I had never been that thin and I lost 45 lbs! Not a small achievement!
Then shit hit the fan and I went through a breakup 2 months ago and since then I've been binging almost every other day... I'm up 12 lbs from my LW and my self-hatred is immeasurable. I'm terrified I'm going to eat my way back up to my HW.
I try so hard to get back into restricting but I'm only successful for a week tops, then I fall back into binging. The more I eat, the more I hate myself. I can't stop self sabotaging. I just think "well fuck it, I'm fat anyways so who cares" and then I regret it sooo much after. But then I do it again!!! I just don't know what to do anymore. I am so triggered and repulsed by my body now. Is there hope to stop this? Where did my self-control go? I'd give anything to be back at my LW :(
[Rant/Rave] Body image Activity at school
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:30:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2ceb/body_image_activity_at_school/
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So today in gym we had a girl from the High school next to us come over and do her senior project which she wanted to do a body image activity. So the first one was all of us stand in front of a line and she said things like "step foward if you dislike your thighs" me and my friend were the only girls who stepped for everyone. Then she said "ok step backward if you like your eyes" and started saying good things. Me and my friend didn't step back at all. She looked at me, and started to cry, I grabbed her hand and we stood there and didnt walk back at all. Everyone stared at us, but we just held eachothers hands and tried our best to keep our chill together.
How do you respond when someone comments on how skinny you have gotten?
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 99 | GW: 88]
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:21:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p29qt/how_do_you_respond_when_someone_comments_on_how/
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Sorry for the bad english.
I have been told by family members that I look too skinny and I want to say thanks, but don’t wanna look like a disturbed person. Maybe I should say something like, I think I look the same as always?? Or maybe that sounds even more anorexic.
Tempted to use a laxative
/u/rosepetalmemories
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:13:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p279u/tempted_to_use_a_laxative/
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I haven't been losing weight like I want. I've barely been eating 700 Cal a day. I didn't check the scale today because I was worried it would say 112 again. I'm super depressed and really just want to take a laxative when I get home. I feel like I'm getting fatter even though the scale says I'm the same weight I've been for the past week.
You guys are my thinspo
/u/Lilwitch513
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:13:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2789/you_guys_are_my_thinspo/
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Hey! So I lurk a lot, and you guys who post are my thinspiration. I've been way off track for so long, and seeing everyone here who think the same way I do is just so encouraging for me to stay on track.
[Discussion] DAE experience their hands/arms and feet falling asleep all the time?
/u/hunnyangel
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:03:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p240c/dae_experience_their_handsarms_and_feet_falling/
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My hands and feet fall asleep all the time, since I started restricting again. Sit on my leg? Asleep in 30 seconds. Lean on my arm? Asleep up to the elbow. It never fails to happen.
Anyone else have this?
ED Stream of consciousness
/u/NutelllaBellla [5' 3.5"|CW: 135.5 | BMI: 23.8 | -38| F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:03:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p23uz/ed_stream_of_consciousness/
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☆I used to binge on 7k calories and nonchalantly go about my day. I used to never go to the gym and wake up at 1pm.
☆Now I freak out about eating maintnance for a day. Now I freak out about missing one 5 am workout out of my 7 a week.
☆Now I am 15 lbs down, a good start, "only the beginning" as I tell myself. Now I meticulously look at a printed out losertown sheet with estimated weights and dates... I am ahead of the schedule... but still, maintnance calories make me want to die.
☆Now I say "shut up and starve, keep your head down, your words and your food to a minimum".
☆Now my hands are blue, I'm always cold, my face is ghostly pale, and I have terrible bags under my eyes. Perfect for Halloween, which I will have no plans for anyways because I have...0 friends.
☆I drink green tea out of a sponge bob mug, and I never want to grow up. My planner has stickers in it. I am 21, but I never want to grow up. I want to be a child for ever. I want to be small and child like for ever and ever and ever.
☆Tomorrow I have a presentation in English. I ate maintnance and plenty of carbs today. I am scared. Scared because I fear that the carbs made my face look bigger/ bloated and that everyone will notice how fat I look as I stand in front of the room.
☆ Some days I just want to die.
☆I am cracking under all of this pressure. I am scared of visiting my parents in another state on Christmas break. They fight and yell and I am stuck with no car while I'm there. Glass gets thrown, I get yelled at and put under a microscope, everything I do is wrong. My parents own guns, I've thought about shooting myself but am afraid of death so I stay here and suffer with no friends in my life.
☆When I make a friend they make me ditch them and spam my phone if they see on the GPS that I am not in my apartment/ that I made plans. They control me from another state.
☆This ED is my only control. All I have. And maybe what I want is for it to kill me slowly, not quickly like a gun would. Then I'll hardly see death coming.
☆God, where are you please help me I want to die.
[Help] I’m concerned about a friend. Is there anything I can do?
/u/Squishy_Pixelz
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:03:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p23tm/im_concerned_about_a_friend_is_there_anything_i/
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So for context, I (20F) and my friend (early 20sF) have been in the same college class three days per week for the last month. We hang out with a bunch of other people during our free time on campus.
So lately for the last two weeks or so, her lifestyle has changed. She’s been drinking 2-3 cans of Monster everyday and eating nothing but polos (polos are little mint sweets/candies). She says the Monster is because she’s been tired lately but has never explained just eating polos. I don’t know how she eats off campus but since we are there from 9-5 one of the days and 1-5 on the other two, it’s concerning.
This is my first year of college life and have heard stories of how students eat cupped noodles and drink often, but I hazard a gut feeling that this is more than just “broke student culture”. Then she is an adult, so I don’t think I can do anything. Am I overreacting? If not, is there anything I can say or do?
[Tip] Just broke the binge cycle that’s been driving me INSANE for 4 days
/u/halfcigarette [5'4" | 116 | 👻 |23F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 14:01:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p23e4/just_broke_the_binge_cycle_thats_been_driving_me/
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Morning exercise did it for me
Appetite suppressants?
/u/oneinyourlife
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:52:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p2080/appetite_suppressants/
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I feel like there are things that will satisfy the munchies, but then there are ones that actually give you energy to get through your day without really thinking about food at all. Like when I have the munchies I'll have a La Croix and a bag of seaweed (I love seasnax Chomperz, they are seriously my favorite). But to get through the day fasting I'll start my morning with coffee, Yerba Mate, a capsule of garcinia cambogia, and a Kanna capsule. Do you guys have any favorite appetite suppressants?
I don't think I can fix my eating at this point
/u/SpiritedStrawberry [5'0'' | CW 106 | GW 88 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:40:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1wjc/i_dont_think_i_can_fix_my_eating_at_this_point/
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It's physical now, not just psychological. I hate how eating food makes me feel. I prefer an empty stomach, it feels cleaner. I just feel bloated and full and gross when I eat.
[Rant/Rave] Bad Day
/u/marshallcat [5 ft | CW 105 lbs | BMI 20.24 | GW 83 lbs | 19 F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:36:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1vep/bad_day/
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I'm having an extremely shitty day, I just want to rant.
I started out the day by ruining my OMAD plans </3 I was supposed to be having a 500 calorie dinner but instead I had a 900+ calorie... breakfast+lunch? I then headed out for the day after changing outfits 5 million times, also I was running late because I'd been looking after my baby niece, and I was generally in a bad mood already.
When I got to the place I was supposed to be, I just looked at myself in the mirror of the entrance hall, went "nope" and turned the fuck around. I just look so HUGE I don't get it. I'm at my lowest weight in YEARS, how do I look so gigantic? I look like I'm about to burst, I seriously couldn't stand to be outside looking like this so I cancelled all my plans and went back home. I relapsed on self harm, failed my attempt to nap (I barely slept last night), made myself a coffee with creamer but realized two sips in that I don't deserve creamer so I threw it away. I have no plans of eating until tomorrow night at least because Fuck That. Also I should try and do some reading for school or something but I'm so mentally Not Here I think I'll just sit around doing nothing until tonight when I'll go to the gym to avoid my family and burn every calorie I consumed today.
I keep getting that EAT EVERYTHING FAT BITCH message from my brain everytime I so much as walk near the kitchen but I'm just so... done with food (says the bitch who had a mini binge just this morning lol). I'm sick of food ruining my life. I'm sick of everything everyone does revolving around food. I'm sick of having to work my way around eating only to end up binging in private. I'm sick of losing weight only to gain it all back again. I feel like I only eat for self-harm/self-sabotage reasons lately, I don't think I've been hungry in a long time. And yes, I do want to eat. But I also want to be able to go outside and go about my day normally without feeling a pang of self-hatred with every breath I take, and I know I can't do that while eating. I can't do that while looking like this.
Balancing a working life with an ED
/u/GohanCake [5’1” | CW: 93 | GW: 86 | 27F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:32:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1u5g/balancing_a_working_life_with_an_ed/
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Idk how many of us are working professionals here but I work 60-80 hours a week and it’s really hard to balance that kind of work with restriction. I barely have time to work out and if I don’t eat, I make dumb mistakes that make more work for me later.
I have a tiny TDEE and it’s hard to be awake as long as I am and not distract myself with food. Anyone have any tips?
[Help] Scale driving me bonkers; no whoosh
/u/k473anderson
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:16:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1p9j/scale_driving_me_bonkers_no_whoosh/
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Hi fam, I need some support;
I have made a lot of progress the past few years in emotionally recovering/being more body positive/not "needing" to lose weight. I actually had like a 6 month period where I *didn't track my food* (cue gasps, I know) and my weight was stable. However, I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and put on Vyvanse, which made me feel like I might be able to restrict without going nuts. So I started, and it has been going fabulously: consistently able to hit my (VERY REASONABLE) deficits, not feeling mentally crap, it's been exciting!! BUT THE SCALE WON'T MOVE. It went down a couple pounds about a month ago because I came off my period, but I've been bouncing between 170 and 171 for 4 FREAKING WEEKS NOW. I SHOULD HAVE LOST AT LEAST 2.3 LBS, IF NOT 3.5 (the lower number is if I assume another 100 cals of fuckup/metabolism slowness every day).
I'm finding it triggering and it sometimes makes me want to restrict more, which I don't want to do because I don't want to feel like I can't lose weight at "moderate" restriction levels. At first I was just waiting for a "whoosh", but 4 weeks feels like so long for that :( I just keep reminding myself that my deficits are big enough (average about 400 cals below maintenance) that I /should/ be losing and I just need to wait it out.
Any whoosh stories or encouragement appreciated in advance.
[Help] How to avoid getting dizzy when fasting?
/u/obviouslynotjackie
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:16:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1p5z/how_to_avoid_getting_dizzy_when_fasting/
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I’ve fasted before (twice) and every morning, as soon as I woke up, I felt nauseous and my there were black spots in my vision.
I’m gonna fast tomorrow bc my mom made spaghetti and I fkn love pasta so of course I ate more than I should have :)))))
Anyway, how do you guys avoid feeling that way? I’m p sure it’s because of low blood sugar but I’m reaaaally trying not to eat or drink anything that has more than 9g of sugar :/
[Discussion] My ED Brain
/u/shootingstar2 [5' 4.5"| 142 | 24.48 | ? | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:10:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1na0/my_ed_brain/
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Does anyone else restrict, get proud of restricting, reward yourself with food and self-loathing?
Yeah me too.
I have this debate where I'm like "Oh look, we haven't eaten in x time. This is great! Maybe we could go for a record!"
Brain: "Nah dude. You have no self control. You have no discipline. You won't stay the course. You're going to eat eventually and break this streak. You're never gonna lose this weight."
My brain is mean, but usually right.
I just want to be pretty. I want a thigh gap. I hate my chubby legs bouncing when I walk and rubbing against each other. 😭
Tl;dr: i get into a debate with my brain every time I restrict. Doesn't last more than 2 days, and my brain says I am a disappointment.
In the 130's!
/u/xStingx
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:09:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1mtr/in_the_130s/
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TMI warning but... Yesterday I peed more than I have this whole month. I hadn't drank anything at all yesterday either. No water, no diet soda, no tea, nothing. And I drink diet soda a lot, more than I drink water. I rarely drink water. I for sure thought something was wrong but now that I think about it, I have been kind of bloated. I'm quite sure I got rid of all that water weight yesterday and went from 140 to 138. This morning I was 138.2. I went to school and came back and I was 137. I cannot believe it. I've been in the 140's since August. I haven't seen 130 since I was 14 and I'm 25 now. Gosh, I'm so happy.
[Help] Never know what to say when people comment on my weight loss
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Wed Oct 17 13:02:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1ksd/never_know_what_to_say_when_people_comment_on_my/
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Maybe I’m overthinking things but I don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I am losing rapidly but I also don’t want to blow it off and make anyone who may be super impressionable think that this is possible without extreme deprivation and damage to your body. In general I just wish there were some way to make people know it’s not a ~good thing~ without coming out as having an eating disorder!!
anyone else experience this? what do you say?
I’m getting real tired of the uncomfortable “........oh thank you........” it feels awful.
[Discussion] 🎃 what are your halloween costumes? 🎃
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | relapse| gw: 97 | 23f]
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:59:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1jro/what_are_your_halloween_costumes/
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if u live in a place where halloween is celebrated!
i’m either going as a deer or a witch (lmao any costume that i can look cute and waifish in tbh)
[Other] What's the dumbest solution to an ed problem that actually worked?
/u/Creative__Username__ [64" | CW: 112 | BMI: 19.5 urgh | GW1: 100 | UGW: 96]
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:58:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1jlp/whats_the_dumbest_solution_to_an_ed_problem_that/
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So mine is that yesterday I didn't have silverware, so I dug through the trash and found a knife and washed it in the bathroom. I ate my yogurt with a plastic knife I found in the trash. I posted about it yesterday lol
But now I've found a way to control my bite sizes cuz it took twice as long to eat those yogurts as it should have lol.
What's yours??!!
I just discovered that fasting is easy
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:127|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:52:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1hjz/i_just_discovered_that_fasting_is_easy/
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I go through cycles of restricting and bingeing. Restricting is VERY difficult for me mentally and food is all I can think about, even if I'm not hungry. I feel absolutely insane when I restrict and my mental health deteriorates. Sometimes I'll spend hours and hours watching youtube videos of people eating food, or buy huge amounts of groceries I don't need. And typically I only restrict down to 600-900 calories. I put up with it, to make up for binges, but it's terrible and i hate it, I get unbearably obsessive.
I never really fasted before but lately I've done a few 24 hour fasts and I was surprised at how easy they are. If I know I won't eat today, I don't worry about it. I think I'm going to start fasting every other day and trying to eat intuitively if I can the rest of the time.
[Rant/Rave] wow new way to avoid binges!!1!!
/u/put_thelotion [179cm | CW: 80kg | GW: 55kg | 20F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:50:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1h4u/wow_new_way_to_avoid_binges1/
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i've been fasting and heavily restricting for the past couple weeks but I have an event Saturday where I'll be required to eat a full meal and I know I'll also be drinking so in an effort to not fucking die Saturday I've decided to slowly introduce food back. it failed. horribly. I got up to \~500 calories and I felt so physically ill I wanted to throw up and I started experiencing hot flashes ?? what the fuck?? of course, my brain took this as the go ahead for "YES CONSUME ALL THE FOOD" but guess what! can't fucking binge when one bite makes you want to die in the student union !!!
I hate my brain and myself.
[Rant/Rave] Don't you hate it when other people eat less than you?
/u/Malebolgia999
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:47:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1g26/dont_you_hate_it_when_other_people_eat_less_than/
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Today I went out to eat at Japanese resturant after a long day at college and not eating anything since 9 PM last night, and I was really loooking forward my meal. I ordered miso ramen and my sis ordered something with beef and rice and after 10 minutes of talking and eating she said she was full. She has barely eaten a third of the plate and I'm here like some beast gorging on my ramen. I know I've not eaten yet and she probably ate at home, and it still bothered me to drop the chopsticks and declare defeat on my meal (still wanting to eat all of it)
Why do I do this? Why do I make everything a competition to eat less than _____?
I know I'm not obese but compared to her, I feel like a fat slobbibg whale and I hate it.
Mallory-Weiss Tear or ulcer help
/u/buenothot [Height 5’3 | CW 200 | BMI ? | Weight Lost 128 lbs | Gender F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:45:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p1fh5/malloryweiss_tear_or_ulcer_help/
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Have any of you experienced these before? I have to see a gastroenterologist about my issue but I was wondering if any of you have tips on what to eat when recovering from these or any general tips.
[Other] Just ED things
/u/BlurJAMD [5'4" | CW: 140lbs | GW: 110lbs | NB]
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:21:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p181p/just_ed_things/
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Feeling a weird sense of superiority when you can squeeze between two cars when the other person can't.
I found a nice guy
/u/Toamatoperson
Created: Wed Oct 17 12:11:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p14op/i_found_a_nice_guy/
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So after being single for a little while I met this *amazing* guy. He seems too good to be true to be honest and I'm terrified I'm gonna fuck things up with my confidence issues and my ED. I'm freaking out and I needed to vent, sorry.
Kay, rant over.
Being bulimic is starting to feel depressing?
/u/ClassicMarketing2
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p10w2/being_bulimic_is_starting_to_feel_depressing/
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I don't know why I'm making this vent, feel free to ignore it.
I just find it depressing. I spend the majority of my day either thinking about food, consuming food, or getting rid of food. There's less enjoyment in other things. When I'm spending time with others, my thoughts still revolve around food or on my low self esteem since I don't feel like there's anything positive about me. Actually I'm not sure why my self esteem was so low before, I would do anything to go back to how I was. What is my personality even like anymore? I don't seem to care about anything except binging and purging. I don't feel happy and don't feel sad either. Well it's not that I know how to tell. My brain just feels so foggy. I miss having interests and the ability to feel excited about everyday life, just to wake up and look forward to going shopping/studying a foreign language that you find interesting/meeting up with a friend. I feel "excited" when I'm buying food but also sigh realizing that it's just part of a cycle that will repeat itself, but at the same time I don't know if I would even feel happy should I stop this completely.
[Other] Haha oh no
/u/buddyflies
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:55:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0zpj/haha_oh_no/
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Haha guys (I’m on mobile can’t flair I’m sorry)
I just ate something out of my hair and I was like what is this? Why am I eating this? How old is this? Haha this could be vomit. Maybe from Sunday haha
Then I keep getting distracted because my phone screen like switches between black and white and colour but the black and white is like really sexy and salutary haha now I’m thinking too much. This is the trap!
Anyway I’m in a relapse but this moment really made me laugh and I was like lol I bet a couple other of my buddies knows what’s up
Much love
🌞😘💕❤️🍻😎
You don't need a perfect "explanation"
/u/letdownuniverse
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:55:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0znb/you_dont_need_a_perfect_explanation/
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I posted this partly, but figured it might be worth it's own discussion.
We talk a lot about "what will I say when someone notices and calls me out". We talk about it, and we stress about these casual callouts from people who have no idea what we are up to.
One idea I've had but haven't tried is to willingly be a little...stupid. We always try to come up with these flawless, bulletproof explanations for our eating habits. Meanwhile, we're surrounded by people who read absolutely ridiculous ideas online, believe them, and follow them. If Mabel in accounting can put lemon juice on 4 slices of cake and say that it stops your body from making it into fat, then I can make up some real crazy shit to explain my diet. Who cares if it makes any sense?
And let's say I make up some crazy explanation "I'm not eating lunch today because I'm doing the Roll-up cleanse where you skip one meal, then eat increasingly larger meals for the next 8 meals, which let's your body know it can let go of toxins it's been holding on to." So 2 days later they're like "aren't you supposed to be eating a huge meal for lunch today?" You can just do it again. "I did Roll-up cleanse for 4 meals, and I had pretty good results, felt really refreshed at first, but you have to listen to your body and I was really feeling it plateau and not in the way of like I gotta keep going and break through that plateau, you know? So I'm restarting it one more time. If I can tell it's not working again Im thinking of switching to this other plan I bookmarked but didn't read yet. Something with alternating water? Have you heard of that?"
The worst risk is that people think you've got some weird ideas about food...but they'll think you're the normal kind of weird -- the weird that we are used to seeing in all the people around us everyday!
[Rant/Rave] i hate being overweight.
/u/lardizebra
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:53:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0z2v/i_hate_being_overweight/
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i feel so fake. so fucking fake. i have crazy binge/restrict phases and i dropped out of the obese range a year ago, so why can’t i get out of the overweight stage yet? i’m not even NORMAL.
i feel like a failure all the time
[Rant/Rave] living alone has fucking done wonders for my mental health
/u/Annewellmorrel [18F|SW100kg|UGW50kg|5’6]
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:53:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0z0f/living_alone_has_fucking_done_wonders_for_my/
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50 DAYS BINGE FREE, BOYS AND GALS!
Love my family, but they were never good for my mental health. My mother’s way of getting people to change their behaviours is very selfish. You know the one, “you can’t go on losinh weight - it’s making ME really worried!”, “I’m going to keep crying for just as long as you keep on gaining weight!” Love you mum but I’m not there for any of the bullshit.
I got very good exam results out of my old school but living in a boarding school is very restricting. To give you an idea of how I felt in my last 2 years there, here’s some lines from a poem I wrote after going to an anatomy exhibition. The meaning is that, whilst living there, I got some troubles with sleep and would wake almost every night at 3:33 or even earlier, super hungry, and then eat all the calories that I allowed myself for a day right then. Something pretty bad happened at the start of my last year there too, and getting good grades became even harder, so I always had to fake being attentive in class even though I felt nothing. I’ve always been perfectly capable of directing my own studies independently, so I really chafed when surrounded by those restrictions. Also hated the compulsory sport (mamaged to avoid it completely in the last year by missing the deadlines for registering for activities and then never flagging it. Really proud of myself for escaping the system.)
“Rise-shine. Downstairs. Add fuel, then pour, then overflood./Collapse. See visions of a world once destined for the throne/ Not now. All coronations cancelled. Key words not used/ And marking points not hit./ Again awake. Stumble into skirt. Hide, wait, now.../ No, wait. Wait longer. Or who can know what gives./ Sit in a heap. How should one look when steady and alert?/When not one hundred calories of vaccuum crunch?”
I actually called my former housemistress the other day and made the mistake of saying that I only have lectures “3 days a week and the rest is free.” She gave me a snarky remark on how “they’re for studying... not really free.” Bitch, now that I’m out of your hellhole and can finally realise how much I love science, studying it is literally free time and has been for a while.
Just ranting, no point to make. But DAMN is it good to be in charge of my own diet and routine! I vow never to forget what it’s like to have hardly any personal space. One day I’ll tell my story, publish memoirs and what not. No one asked for any but I’ll still do it lol.
[Rant/Rave] Chips are making me hate myself
/u/andinev
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:48:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0xet/chips_are_making_me_hate_myself/
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The people I nanny for have these jalapeño kettle chips and I usually hate jalapeño flavored things and I don’t really like kettle chips either. So the little girl asked me to try one cuz she loves them and I did and they’re the best thing ever :( I’ve wasted 150 cals on them today. It’s 12 chips for 150 and I hate myself but I just really like them and it’s so tempting idk
[Other] oh god kill me now
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:45:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0waz/oh_god_kill_me_now/
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i’m on hour 60 of a fast and i’m sitting outside of a lecture hall before class and this place apparently has incredible acoustics because my stomach just decided to growl as loud as it possibly could and that shit ECHOED. i’m ready to curl in a ball and die, everyone who didn’t have headphones in turned to look at me F M L
Husband skinner than me
/u/Just-Another-Mom [5'8" | 142 | 21.5 | 43lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:32:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0s9m/husband_skinner_than_me/
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I’m so pissed off. My husband has always been thinner than me and he makes it seem effortless. He doesn’t eat much at all and claims he doesn’t get hungry often. Food is a nuisance to him. I’m so terribly jealous because I’m hungry all of the time and I have to restrict myself to look like him. I wish so badly that he was bigger than me because I hate being the group of “women fatter than their men.”
Someone commented on my size and for once it wasn’t in a bad way ??
/u/bruteheart [5'3 | CW 131 | HW 164 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:07:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0k0e/someone_commented_on_my_size_and_for_once_it/
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My university has an event I’m volunteering for and we had to pick up our t-shirts for it today. When the volunteer at the desk asked what size I wanted, I said large. He replied back, “Large? You’re way too small for a large.” Obviously sort of a weird comment to make, but it made me feel good. I still can fit into larges (they’re more loose now but I only feel comfortable wearing looser clothing), but it felt good to know that I’m now not instantly seen as someone who wears large. I’ve been wearing that size for almost my entire life and now it feels like maybe things are looking up. Still chunky tho lol
[Discussion] on predatory behaviour towards our community
/u/feellikegucci [5'2 | 18 F | cw: 141lbs | 25.6 | gw: 88lbs | -17lbs]
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0io5/on_predatory_behaviour_towards_our_community/
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Idk if this is a rant or a PSA, but I posted on r/thinspo today (not even my own pic) and some weird dude messaged me about how I was stunning in the picture, and as I explained it wasn't me, he asked my stats (gave basic shit like height, cw and gw for the heck of it, I wanted to see what he was on about) and said he liked to help people getting to their gw. \[[pics here](https://imgur.com/a/8CzFHZA)\]
I heard of this happening to other people, but this is the first time it happened to me. Gives me the shivers to think there's people targeting us this way, and it's even worse that they frequent our spaces. I think this one person frequents both r/thinspo and this sub (if you're reading this, pal, hey! I said I was gonna warn my fellows), but I'd bet he's not the only one. At least at r/thinspo there's a lot of creepers, glad it's going private soon.
Don't know what else to say but to be careful about this, y'all. It makes me sick that there are some people out there whose fetishes consist of leading us to early graves. Don't give out pictures or social media to them if they abord you. Also @ the mods, is there something that can be done about this?
​
[Rant/Rave] On Looking So Well
/u/countdowntocontrol
Created: Wed Oct 17 11:01:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0hse/on_looking_so_well/
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I've had a weird time. I've had problems with food since I was a young child (thanks, mom) and after a seriously traumatic experience in late May I spent the next month drinking every day to the point of incoherency. I was fat, sick and suicidally depressed. I was mean and angry and miserable. I just didn't care anymore. One night I was very, very drunk and having a go at my best friend for leaving me to sit alone in the next room - he said I had a drinking problem and he didn't want to sit and watch me get drunk, again. I knew he had a history with an abusive alcoholic + drug dependent family member. I knew that was what he saw when he looked at me. He was right.
I quit drinking the day I started heavy restriction. Over the next two months I shed a staggering amount of weight and I really got my shit together. In late August I met my wonderful boyfriend. I came back to college and it's going great. I look the best I've ever looked in my life. Everything's cool.
But my body is suffering. I get sick so easily, I'm always cold, I'm weak, my concentration and memory are fucked and I have very limited energy. I look great. I'm happy. But I'm not well. And every time I hear how much happier I'm looking, how well I seem, how much BETTER I am, I just want to ask how they don't see it. How do you not see it?
​
[Other] Time to wake up
/u/landfill7707 [5'3| 101 | 17.9| 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 10:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0aev/time_to_wake_up/
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I’ve been deluding myself. Portion sizes become smaller in my head. It’s just water weight. It’s okay to binge, you’ve had a rough week and you need to fuel your body if you’re going to work out. I’ve been deluding myself into thinking that wrecking my body and health is paying off, but in reality, I spend my days shaking from an EC stack and my nights stuffing my face and purging it all up in the shower. From now on, I’m logging all of my calories for what they really are, not skipping a binge day because it’s just one day and I needed it, not logging portions as smaller than they are so that I get the satisfaction of staying under my calorie limit — I need to keep myself accountable because what’s the point of all this damage if I keep lying to myself?
Am I the only one who disagrees with her definition of an eating disorder? O-:
/u/BadLifePLanner
Created: Wed Oct 17 10:36:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p0a1m/am_i_the_only_one_who_disagrees_with_her/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmaLOAsRML0&list=PLAB41960D35357E06
[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they look wayy better in the mirror than in pictures??
/u/dani_lionn
Created: Wed Oct 17 10:21:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p04w4/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_look_wayy_better/
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I cant stand looking in the mirror and thinking "oooh, I actually look kinda thin and pretty today" and then taking a pic and seemingly gaining 40 fucking pounds
Does OMAD work?
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Wed Oct 17 10:13:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9p028l/does_omad_work/
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Not sure if allowed but I had a look into it after seeing it on here and im concerned about my exhaustion from not eating. Maybe doing OMAD may help me get more energy?
[Discussion] That squishy fat.
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | CW 116.8 | UGW 111 | -20 lbs | 27F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:59:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozxm1/that_squishy_fat/
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Sooo that mythical squishy fat that serves as a sign that the "real" fat is going away and that you will soon (hopefully) not be squishy anymore (if you have not yet seen [this article](https://bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/of-whooshes-and-squishy-fat.html/), it has some interesting theories) ...
For any of you who also had this weird stage of every fat bit of you turning into a squishy water balloon, do you remember approx. how long until it went away? Did it ever go away?! And if that article is correct at all (primarily, in its assessment of fat cells "filling" with water) or if the fat cells are just now unevenly distributed in some odd way, would massage help at all? My weight and measurements are going down and bones are jutting out, but everything is still covered in some sort of jiggly squish. Help!
[Rant/Rave] People don't know im tall.
/u/audreyhepburnwho [no binge October~ Halloween goal 68kg cw 73kg]
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:52:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozvf7/people_dont_know_im_tall/
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Small rant. Hi guys, have been MIA for a while. Went on a binging bender and regained everything i lost in like 2 months lol currently losing again but whatever this post aint about that. Please tell me if this happens to you.
I'm 172cm tall, or 5 feet 8 in, which especially where I live IS TALL, for a girl especially. But because I've been chubby most of my adult life, I get surprising comments all the time on my height and it's triggering as fuuuuck. I'm proud of being tall. But i often get surprise reactions. I've also been told "no you're not taller than *skinny girl who's shorter than me*"!! ". Why? I guess because skinny people look dainty and therefore taller, if that makes sense? Likely ive been hearing this since i was a teenager and I'm 25 years old. Yesterday I was sitting with a group of coworkers and we were mentioning heights and they were all surprised at MY height specifically. But I've always measured at 172cm or even 173, I'm not making it up lol. But I'm chubby. I look round. I look short. Fml.
[Discussion] Opinions on ZERO calorie Drinks
/u/DistortionBR
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:41:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozrtw/opinions_on_zero_calorie_drinks/
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Was just wondering people’s opinions on diet fizzy drinks
I’m currently obsessed with Dr Pepper Zero and somewhat feel bad for drinking it
What is/was your favourite and do you drink it still?
hey guys creep warning
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 52.7kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:39:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozr2o/hey_guys_creep_warning/
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https://i.redd.it/0mw72vdymrs11.jpg
[Rant/Rave] (Rant) My mom finally mentioned my weight loss
/u/HellaGayThrowaway [5'10"|CW:193.8|SW:225|GW:140|NB21]
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:36:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozq2c/rant_my_mom_finally_mentioned_my_weight_loss/
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(On mobile, mods please tag rant/rave)
I've been restricting for seven weeks and dropped 34 pounds as of today. Until today, not a single damn person has noticed or said anything except for my FWB (and that's because he's the only person I've told about my relapse into restricting and I specifically asked him the other day if I look skinnier.)
Today I'm wearing one of my smaller t-shirts that fits me more tightly than most of my clothes. I was going about my day and out of nowhere my mom exclaimed "You're getting all skinny! Is this on purpose? Decided to get healthier?"
Y'all, I know I should feel super excited and validated by this because she's the first person to notice unprompted but I'm kind of panicking. She had an eating disorder when she was my age, and she accused me of being bulimic back when I was 14 or 15 (ironically, I was heavy restricting at the time and only ever purged through exercise but for some reason she thought I was puking my guts out on the reg.) Hell, I attribute a good portion of my disordered eating thoughts and behaviors to this fucking woman and all the diets and bullshit she put me through as a little kid. I don't want her to notice my weight. I don't care if anyone else does, it'd honestly be really validating if any of my friends said what she said. I don't want her in my damn life, I don't want her commenting on my food choices, I don't want her noticing that I'm using my food scale again for everything, I don't want her to realize I'm relapsing. I still have fifty fucking pounds to lose before my UGW and I have no idea how to hide it from this bitch. I wish I had the mental stability to work more so I could just move it and never have to fucking deal with her again.
[Discussion] What’s one food you’re dying to try but won’t allow yourself till you hit your goal weight?
/u/standingbymountains
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:35:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozpvj/whats_one_food_youre_dying_to_try_but_wont_allow/
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Mine is this PB/Banana “smoothie” (milkshake) from work. Everyone gets them. They’re skim milk, nonfat froyo, and the pb+banana obviously. Easily 600-700 calories.
They look so fucking good but one will never cross my lips until I’m sub 130.
[Goal] You guys.....
/u/nadaste
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:31:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozoio/you_guys/
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https://i.redd.it/p300gkeilrs11.jpg
[Discussion] Does purging make you better or worse at sucking dick?
/u/imogenfernn
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:29:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oznt5/does_purging_make_you_better_or_worse_at_sucking/
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Serious question
[Rant/Rave] I’m so upset
/u/Coldcoffeepls
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozmxf/im_so_upset/
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Okay so last night I was on the phone with my mom and I was trying to find an outfit that I could wear for my concert this weekend. I sent her some pictures and she said I don’t look like I’ve lost any weight. Logically I know this isn’t true, I’ve pretty much lost an inch from my arms, legs, waist, and hips. But it’s just so upsetting to hear and it makes me want to hide when I go to the concert. And it’s just insane to me that my body can look so similar even after having lost 15 pounds. Ugh I don’t know, I’m just really upset about the whole thing and it makes me want to lose even more weight.
A "Change" In The Mirror, but Not The Scale?
/u/alienmickey
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:11:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oziba/a_change_in_the_mirror_but_not_the_scale/
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The past couple of weeks ive been trying to get away from the fast/binge cycle of not eating for two or three days and then binging for a few days over and over again by gradually reducing my cals. My maintenance is at around 1500 i think atm bc of my 15 pound weight gain over the summer (i wanna die) and i havent lost anything over the past two-three weeks ive been slowly reducing. Currently im taking in around 800-1000 cals a day and burning more than half that daily. The scale still says 109. But it LOOKS like im slowly losing weight ?? Im starting to see my ribs again a little bit and i think im on the verge of getting my box gap back. Why am i seeing it in the mirror but not on the scale? Is it just the weight from the food in my belly doing that? Sometimes i think i should go back to eating according to volume or quantity of food rather than cals. It seemed to work better lmao
ive been binging 4 a week
/u/relativeletter6 [161cm | 52.7kg | gw 50kg]
Created: Wed Oct 17 09:03:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozfnu/ive_been_binging_4_a_week/
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i have eaten like. 4000 calories a day. how much y’all bet i gained.
so i was 112.9 last tuesday. been eating a fuckton. i’m gonna restrict tmw/fri/sat and weigh sunday. place ur bets for how much i’ve gained ♥
i’m taking 150 lax tonight and again friday so. that should help.
my thigh gap has fucking died this week XD and i got soo drunk last night and told my best friend about how i’m gonna take So many lax. which. true! (i’ve been binging sm because he’s staying with me for a week and.... be normal even tho he knows abt my ed u know?)
[Rant/Rave] Binged After Successfully Restricting Yesterday
/u/LynCross [152.5cm | BMI: 25.1| CW: 128.75 lbs |UGW: 101lbs |F ]
Created: Wed Oct 17 08:56:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ozdfv/binged_after_successfully_restricting_yesterday/
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I'm such a failure. I went out with my friends and my mum ended up inviting us all to eat dinner. I could've gotten away with only eating seafood bc I haven't eaten anything today. But for the love of god why did I order a whole bulgogi bowl and a bingsu. I guess I didn't want my friends to know and I think my mum's been catching on. I don't anyone to know. Fuck.
Now, I'm in a sleeover with my bestfriend and she's asking us to make smores bc I bought ingredients for her. I love her very much but this aint the time chief. There's too many calories in a chocolate and marshmallow!!!
Guess I'm not "eating" lunch with my other friends tomorrow. Guess we're not eating ever.
God I want to stop this. I want to stop being unable to hold back. Restricting was so easy when I had classes to go to and tired when I come home. I thought this semester break would be an opportunity for me to put in more exercise with restricting but why is it so hard!!
Triggered by my own body!!
/u/bbygrapefruit
Created: Wed Oct 17 08:16:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oz1if/triggered_by_my_own_body/
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I’ve been in recovery for about 6 months now, and I’m finally to the point where I eat a healthy 3 meals a day. Thanks to my metabolism recovering, this is causing me to lose weight and I KNOW I must sound like a terrible ungrateful asshat but it is so fucking triggering. I can’t lose weight without the urge to dive back in.
I had a dream last night that I was eating spicy, cheesy dukbokki with eggs and fishcakes
/u/cortizonegnome [5'3" | bingetastic CW: 107 | GW 94 | UGW 88 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 08:05:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oyyal/i_had_a_dream_last_night_that_i_was_eating_spicy/
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I could taste it y'all. I could TASTE it. this has never happened before (or at least I don't remember it happening) and now I wish I could control my dreams lol. amazingly, it's sort of gotten rid of my craving for it b/c I "ate" it in my dream l m a o
yeah that's it that's the whole post I'm shook has this happened to any of you before
[Discussion] How long is it before restricting shows negative side effects?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Wed Oct 17 07:45:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oysj0/how_long_is_it_before_restricting_shows_negative/
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I have cycles of binges and restriction, and I am starting restriction again. But this time I am worried for the side effects - hair loss, heart problems, etc. If I do it for a month or a few months will it be fine? I just really need to stop binging. I would be averaging 650 a day for 2 weeks then increasing the calories afterwards while doing IF. Will it be fine? I just need some reassurance that 2 weeks of restriction isn't gonna cause health problems :I
How do u get a flair(of ur stats) on here?
/u/Cryglass99
Created: Wed Oct 17 07:40:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oyras/how_do_u_get_a_flairof_ur_stats_on_here/
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I dont know how to eat "normal" anymore
/u/sbspaceman [5'7" | CW: Disgusting | -16 | UGW: 110]
Created: Wed Oct 17 07:36:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oyq0x/i_dont_know_how_to_eat_normal_anymore/
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Hey all. Random rant.
I was hospitalized for self-harm/suicidal ideation and I had to eat food there because my medicine made me so nauseous. I figured it wouldn't hurt but now that I'm home, I have no idea what to do. If I'm not restricting heavily, I'm binging and eating EVERYTHING. I don't get it.
Thanks for reading 💓 I just needed that off my chest.
[Discussion] Eating at night?
/u/smarieculp [5’7| 145|22.7 | HW: 145 | LW: 118 | GW: 110 | 19F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 07:11:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oyj7v/eating_at_night/
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I’ve gotten into a routine of eating most of my calories in the morning before class then just having a small 200-250 calorie meal at night. It gives me anxiety to eat a lot before I go to sleep because I’ve seen a video on how sumo wrestlers p much eat only at night because you gain more faster that way because of how your metabolism slows down when you sleep. Is this true?
[Rant/Rave] Recovery... I feel like shit and am so scared of getting even fatter.
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1.4 | CW: 184 | BMI: 24.3| HW: 370| M]
Created: Wed Oct 17 06:22:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oy5nz/recovery_i_feel_like_shit_and_am_so_scared_of/
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Sorry, I don't really have anything interesting to say (I almost made this post 2 times before and the deleted it), but recovery is just making me feel terrible.
I was excited to post my recovery in way to go Wednesday this week. All of last week I was not thinking about food really and everything was moving in the right direction I thought.
However, since Sunday I just feel like shit. I want to restrict and have something going right in my life again. I am probably gaining a bit of weight (like 2-3 lbs), but honestly the body dysmorphia has gotten so bad (or maybe I'm just seeing myself more accurately) that I feel like a fucking monster.
I'm so glad that I have this community, seeing many of you experiencing similar hardships makes me feel less alone.
I became one of "those people" and I love it.
/u/axido
Created: Wed Oct 17 06:16:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oy4b4/i_became_one_of_those_people_and_i_love_it/
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Hello everyone.
I always envied people that I saw that eat a lot of food and were thin and yesterday I was one of those people.
I suffered from body dismorphic disorder since I was a teenager and binge eating disorder so I hate when people notice what I eat and make some observation to me when I los or gain weight or about what I am eating or not eating but what happened to me yesterday was fun.
I had a lot of therapy for my binge eating disorder and for my body dismorphic disorder so now I have some control about this but I am still having this disorders, especially the binge eating.
I am thin now, and I do omadish (have a ice latte with skim milk in the morning (100 calories) and eat 1900 calories at dinner, sometimes I do this but with low carb and some times I eat whatever I want at dinner but always omadish (is the kind of eating what works for me.
Yesterday I didn't have time to eat a home so I went to a coffee shop I love and I have chocolate cake and a club house sandwich (no mayo) with chips and I was so good.
And a friend told me something like this : How can you be so thin eating so much and this kind of food?
This was so fun to me, because I was the one always like him thinking this about people that I saw at restaurants eating a lot and being really thin.
Of course he didn't know my eating pattern and my calorie counting, and it was fun to me because I being suffering from depression this last months, so it was nice that this made me laugh a little.
Thank you for reading this.
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 17 06:10:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oy2u5/daily_food_diary_october_17_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 17, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Sticky] Way To Go Wednesday October 17, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 17 06:09:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oy2hp/way_to_go_wednesday_october_17_2018/
---
This is the weekly achievement thread for October 17, 2018.
This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!
*****
Achievement threads are posted every Wednesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
[Help] my boyfriend supports my disordered habits???
/u/turdddburger [5’3🌻cw146🌻gw100🌻f]
Created: Wed Oct 17 05:33:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oxth4/my_boyfriend_supports_my_disordered_habits/
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honestly i’m at a loss. i feel like he doesn’t care at all, about me or how much i’m hurting my body doing the things i do. he knows my gw is 98lbs and he said good to that.... that’s not deathly small but it’s still 12lbs underweight?????? wtf?? and he suggests not eating certain things, or will eat my food even if he knows that was all i had for the day and also says i should work out and stuff and im just like......where tf would i get the energy to do that from lol i already jog every day.......
ugh. it feels so fucking toxic and it’s ruining my self esteem and i feel like he doesn’t care about me or my ed because i’m not thin yet. :(
[Rant/Rave] My morning was shit. Adrenal fatigue. Want to cry.
/u/NutelllaBellla [5' 3.5"|CW: 135.5 | BMI: 23.8 | -38| F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 05:32:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oxt2v/my_morning_was_shit_adrenal_fatigue_want_to_cry/
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This is how my morning typically goes: I wake up at 5 am, take vyvanse, chug black coffee, eat 2 protein bars, and go to the gym at 6 am. I'll be there for 2 hrs if I'm lifting weights, 1 hr if it's cardio.
*NOTE* I do this routine restricting at 1,000 calories. And I normally take one rest day per week. Lost about 15 lbs in a month and a half.
This is how my morning went today: I woke up, took the vyvanse, coffee, and ate the protein bars... and then realized how exhausted I was. I considered making it a rest day, but decided against it since I have a presentation in English tomorrow and want to look thinner. I haul my ass to the gym, and do my cardio warm up. Then I start trying to do my usual strength training routine and literally felt so tired because I also got like no sleep, and could. Not. Lift. The. Weight. I just couldn't.
I just ended up leaving the gym and decided to have a rest day today. But at least I got my warm up.
I want to cry because I got to the gym, feel like I should have finished my workout and done my rest day later in the week. But the adrenal fatigue today was realllll y'all.
[Help] Need advice on how to survive my work lunch
/u/mermaiddiva26
Created: Wed Oct 17 05:04:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oxmkr/need_advice_on_how_to_survive_my_work_lunch/
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My boss likes to have meetings during lunch so he (and everyone else) can get free food. While this sounds great to everyone, to me it is a nightmare. The food is low quality subs with mayonnaise and processed meat, along with huge cookies and chips and soda. I want to eat something to show I am part of the team, but at the same time don't want to waste calories on such low quality food. I normally OMAD but people don't notice since they're so busy with their own work, but now I know someone is going to say something about me sitting on this meeting and not eating. Do you guys have any advice for what I can say to them if I only have some of the pickle spears and a water? My coworkers never keep their comments to themselves. I have been dreading this meeting for a week 😫
[Discussion] Fitbit Friends?
/u/HonestSpeak
Created: Wed Oct 17 04:44:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oxi4w/fitbit_friends/
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I don't have any friends on Fitbit, does anyone want to be my friend? I'm planning on doing a workweek hustle challenge almost every week, just so you know.
I've realised that I will always be hungry, no matter what, and it's kept me from binging for weeks now.
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 61.5kg (135lbs) | BMI: 20.6 | -12.5kg | F | 23yo]
Created: Wed Oct 17 04:43:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oxi1m/ive_realised_that_i_will_always_be_hungry_no/
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Basically the title. I am always hungry and always will be. When I binge, I don't stop because I feel satiated, I stop because I'm in physical distress from how much I've consumed.
So now when my brain screams at me that it wants; muffin chips protein bar salmon cheesecake chocolate mousse doritos hummus pancakes kfc vanilla frosting- I remember that it won't change anything. I'll still feel the same. I'll still want more. No matter what.
So I don't eat. Because at least when I'm hungry and empty I'm achieving something. Being hungry and distended-bloated-stuffed from all the muck in my stomach gets me nowhere - takes me backwards - and the whole while my brain never stops screaming to be fed.
It's torture, but now at least I know what I'm dealing with.
[Rant/Rave] Feeling like a fraud, and Halloween costumes.
/u/-Summerr- [5’5| CW:115.9| BMI:19.3| SW:126.7| Female]
Created: Wed Oct 17 03:27:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ox2u5/feeling_like_a_fraud_and_halloween_costumes/
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So, I eat normal/above normal for like a week, freak myself out and get on the scale to see how much I’ve gained, and send myself down a spiral of restricting. I just did this as of recently. Couldn’t go below 115, binged, ate “normal”, realized what the fuck I did, and weighed myself to start a whole new period of restricting. I do shit like this that makes my ED feel like a fraud or something I made up. I actually stayed at 116 lbs, but I know if I get down to 114 lbs, I’ll want to be 110, 109, 105, and so on. This plateau has really fucked me up, because sometimes I’m just like “Fuck it, you’ll be fat forever and no one will want to date you, so why even try?” But then a week of normal eating later, and I’m like “Holy crap! You probably gained all the weight back. What the fuck were you thinking?!” And then I panic. I’m afraid I’ll never reach my goal of being underweight for my birthday, even though I’m only 9 lbs away, and I have 3 1/2 months to do so. I’m so impatient when it comes to losing weight, like, I just want to be skinny. I can kind of tell I’ve lost 10 lbs. I looked in the mirror a little while back, and I saw my stomach was smaller. It’s actually so glorious, for lack of a better word, to see that you’ve made progress visually, and not just on the scale. The numbers are still going to be what I’m focused on though. Also, while looking at Halloween costume sizes, I realized I was probably a women’s L or XL, and that kind of horrified me. Like, I never realized how small the large sizes actually are. The XL was 33” and I was like “Bitch, what?” My waist is 35” last I checked. I should measure again sucking in, because I know I’ll have my stomach sucked in all Halloween long. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I’m just stuck in a bad mental place right now (When am I not?). If you read the whole thing, I appreciate it.
[Rant/Rave] I keep binging and abusing lax
/u/bboombbboom [ 5’1 HW:250 CW:155 GW:105]
Created: Wed Oct 17 02:41:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9owu7j/i_keep_binging_and_abusing_lax/
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I wish I could stop.
I feel so miserable I just want to die. I don’t think I’ve even lost any weight - I’m a fat whale.
[Discussion] i wish people would leave me alone when i eat
/u/MeowMixIsSatan
Created: Wed Oct 17 02:26:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9owrjd/i_wish_people_would_leave_me_alone_when_i_eat/
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okay so i get so defensive and mad when someone else joins me to eat. i want to eat alone on purpose. i’m not really sure why i get so annoyed by it but wow, i basically ignore the person or am short with them. idk it that’s just me though? i just like eating alone so i don’t feel judged.
[Discussion] Stairs are my nemesis
/u/ameliasophia [5'3 | 100 | 17.7 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 02:02:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9owna2/stairs_are_my_nemesis/
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Been fasting for five and a half days now. Started to really struggle with stairs. Have to stop like three times just to get up a normal flight of stairs. What things have you guys been experiencing as you've got weaker?
Feeling like such a loser [CW Self-same, ED, addiction]
/u/vixwd
Created: Wed Oct 17 01:53:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9owlhy/feeling_like_such_a_loser_cw_selfsame_ed_addiction/
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I'm a person on her mid thirties, and still can't manage my disordered eating. I've managed to stay sober for more than two years, clean for over one, but can't go a week without restricting, or b/ping. I just went to be sexy, skinny, and like the girls I see all the time.
I'm delusional.
[Rant/Rave] Just caught my mom binging... (rant)
/u/edthrowaway12121
Created: Wed Oct 17 01:33:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9owhmo/just_caught_my_mom_binging_rant/
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It’s 3am. My mom and I have been hanging out in the living room practically all night just having fun and she’s made is clear how she isn’t eating after a certain time etc etc. The second I went to my room to sleep, I heard the kitchen. Fridge opening, closing. Cabinets. Bags. Not even thinking, I walked out and she gave me the most ashamed look ever. I feel so sad and uncomfortable right now.
I feel wrong for walking in on her KNOWING what she’s doing, but... at the same time, almost feel like it was a must? She’s had BED for pretty much her whole life and I definitely feel like she was the cause of my ED as well as she taught me from a young age (like 8) how fun it was to eat tons of food at night.
I use to and sometimes still do the same exact thing she’s doing but my ED is more restriction and compensatory.
I don’t even know why I’m posting this. it’s just so strange looking from the outside. And I feel distraught, like I’m almost freaked out in a way and feel really horrible.
Finally cracked 120lbs guys!
/u/thecommunistagenda
Created: Wed Oct 17 01:16:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9owed9/finally_cracked_120lbs_guys/
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....after passing out midway through sex. I was bent over, blacked out and came too still fully naked sat on the toilet (we’d been in the bathroom) with my FWB bringing me a glass of water. He then left me and told me to let myself out. I mean he did come back but that’s only because he’d thought I’d passed out again.
He’s now threatening to bring the wrath of eating disorder services down on me if I don’t fucking eat, but who he to know a cup o soup only has 83 calories?
So swings and roundabouts I guess guys
[Rant/Rave] Any other abusive victims that hate their bodies?
/u/speedayyyy [5’7 | CW 162 | GW 120 | 21F| 🍑 @stupidpieceofshit]
Created: Wed Oct 17 01:16:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oweb6/any_other_abusive_victims_that_hate_their_bodies/
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My ex was older than me. I met him when he was 19 and I had just turned 15. I always thought he was a cute, nice older boy. I had a messed up childhood, this was the first man to show any kind of affection for me. He made me feel like I was loved, worth it even. We broke up for the summer, because of the obvious age difference my mom noticed. I slept with someone else. We got back together two months before my 16th birthday. He abused me physically and emotionally since then. I betrayed him by sleeping with someone else when we weren’t together. To him, I wasn’t that innocent little girl anymore. Nothing but a whore. He hated me as much as I hated myself. Would tell me how ugly and fat I was, despite being almost underweight for my height. I never felt beautiful or worthy, because to him I was not. He beat me until I felt nothing. I still don’t feel emotions as strongly as I used to. I struggle with getting close to people because it hurts too much. I’m too scared of getting hurt again. I left him for my daughter, who is almost 5. My body is not like anyone else I know at 21. I carried a child at 16. I have stretch marks and saggy breasts from breastfeeding. My body is a constant reminder of him and I hate it. I want to think of it as the body that carried MY daughter, not as the body he beat and raped. Just can’t see it as a beautiful thing. It has almost been 3 years since I left but the pain still hovers over me. I hate it so much. I want to feel beautiful again. Deserving of being loved. Not to think of sex as pain or see the self harm scars anymore. I just want to know someone understands because it doesn’t feel like anyone does. They just want me to move on and be ‘normal’...
[Rant/Rave] I think my boyfriend broke up with me, apparently we're not as great of a match as I thought we were lol
/u/lightfeathers [5'5" |🍑 lightfeathers | F]
Created: Wed Oct 17 00:37:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ow6a5/i_think_my_boyfriend_broke_up_with_me_apparently/
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I'm totally fine. Totally not bothered.
I guess I'm the only one who thought we were great for each other despite our differences but I guess he doesn't think so. At least I don't feel as much pressure to keep living this miserable life. One bright side ig.
3 entire days without bingeing!
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:127|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Wed Oct 17 00:34:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ow5hz/3_entire_days_without_bingeing/
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I've been drinking a lot, and bingeing sometimes, and I had a wakeup call when I weighed myself at a party and saw I had gained 12 pounds.
Two days later it appears I actually only gained 4 real pounds (I'd weighed myself wearing shoes, jeans, and a coat, and right after drinking beers), but the motivation stuck anyway, and I'm back on track. The first day I fasted, the next I low-restricted, and the next I high-restricted. Tomorrow I'm fasting. I'm going to try to average at about 1000 calories on the days that I eat and do a 24 hour fast every once in a while.
I know it's a short amount of time but it's significant to me, especially because it hasn't even been that hard. I haven't felt this focused in a while, it's like something clicked. I really might be able to get to my GW pretty soon without suffering much for it.
[Discussion] Already ate all my calories for tomorrow
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Wed Oct 17 00:32:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ow55j/already_ate_all_my_calories_for_tomorrow/
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Big sad. It’s only 2:30 AM and I already logged over 1200 calories. I purged but I might have took too long so I’m just gonna say fuck it and try to make it until tomorrow’s dinner. Working in food service blows in this regard, because all day I’m gonna be surrounded by food..... :,( who else works with food?
[Discussion] What do you guys eat/do at work to look "normal"?
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 17 00:27:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ow450/what_do_you_guys_eatdo_at_work_to_look_normal/
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Hey
Yeah, question above. I work in a super small office so I can usually just eat on my own, but if someone comes in, I Always feel a bit weird about my sticks of Cucumber, cherry tomatoes and boiled eggs... (Which I an having this week). I dont know My coworkers very well so they don't ask but they... Might?
[Discussion] does anyone else have a "favourite" part of their ED...
/u/SammyJammers
Created: Wed Oct 17 00:15:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ow1hh/does_anyone_else_have_a_favourite_part_of_their_ed/
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i have osfed and recently i think i find myself super proud and happy when i'm exercising 24/7, and then a little less proud but still okay when i'm restricting, and then completely hating myself when i'm bingeing/purging...
....please tell me i'm not alone and weird in this :\\
[Rant/Rave] I’m so upset and feel defeated
/u/Lionheart78239
Created: Wed Oct 17 00:04:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovzae/im_so_upset_and_feel_defeated/
---
This isn’t going to be a very well constructed rant. Just saying.
I feel like I’m failing miserably. I know it’s good I’m eating.. but I’m watching myself slowly gain weight and I’m terrified. I don’t want to go past a certain weight number and I’m already close. I’m two pounds away. I’m even way past the weight I was at last two weeks ago. It was my first goal weight, but I couldn’t keep it. I reached it a few times, yet it would fluctuate and then go up more before going back down. I don’t know why.
I want to cry. I can’t control myself right now. I got too comfortable eating a little. My wife has been encouraging me and praising me for eating. He tells me all the time that it’s okay, but it’s not. I’m so stuck. I’m very tempted to take the ECA stack. I haven’t taken it for two months — almost three. My wife had me promise that I wouldn’t take it again. Especially since I had such an extreme reaction to it. I had heart problems for the whole two-three months that I haven’t taken it. It only just somewhat stopped, but right now.. I’m finding it really, really, really difficult to resist. I already kind of plan to get the ingredients once I can afford it. I couldn’t find Bronkaid at the appropriate dosage for the stack so I got one that was somewhere in the hundreds and then cut it up quite a few times. Of course I’d have to make it into a sliver, and even though you never know.. so I know that’s very risky since I take that with caffeine and all.
I don’t know. I’m torn in all directions. I don’t know what to do. I know if I get the stack I will heavily negatively affect my relationship. I’m tempted to keep it a secret, but I promised to be honest and I plan to stick to that promise as much as I can. I have been very honest. Something I always struggled with all my life. I force myself to talk to my wife despite being terrified of him getting upset.
I don’t know what to do.
[Help] Sleeping on an empty stomach: How?
/u/insomniaed [5'2 | cw52 | gw45 | ugw35]
Created: Wed Oct 17 00:02:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovyrc/sleeping_on_an_empty_stomach_how/
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Seriously, just HOW do you guys manage it? I'm just not able to fall asleep when I'm fasting and it's really getting on my nerves. Why is it so hard to sleep on an empty stomach? Shouldn't the body be even more tired than on an average day because of lack of energy? I just don't get it..
I feel like a ~faker~
/u/prettypuzzlepieces [5'4" | 159 | 27.3 BMI | -49 lbs (-50 so close yo🎈) | old lady]
Created: Tue Oct 16 23:56:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovxgl/i_feel_like_a_faker/
---
Two things happened in like two days where I'm just like... totally messed up in my head and need to vent. A little backstory. I've always considered myself as having had an ED since I was like 14. I definitely had it bad as a teen, diagnosed anorexia, underweight, low restriction, the whole shebang. Except now i'm 30 and i've spent most of my adult life in overweight or obese... aaaaanyway.
I was talking to that one "sympathetic ear" friend about how i haven't lost any weight all week (thx period) and I thought he'd just give a little sympathy and move on but no, he kept pushing about how i'm counting wrong if i'm not losing (HAHAHAHA i wish I was physically capable of underestimating my calories) and I should cut my calories by 100-200 a day and blah. I finally kinda snapped and was like no jesus it's just bloat weight and spilled a little too much about my daily intake. Then he launched into oh well his ex had an ED and if that's where I'm at I need to count my binges even if I don't wanna. I guess she'd binge a lot? So that's where his mind went? I said I don't binge (I haven't in actual months thank god) and he said oh well i'm glad you don't have a bad eating disorder like (ex) then. Don't judge him too hard, he's a good dude but just totally socially inept lol. I know he didn't mean it that way but holy trigger batman.
Then i was talking to my husband about how NO GODDAMN ONE at work has mentioned my 50 lb weight loss, and he said it was cause I had lost "gradually" this time so prolly people i saw every day weren't really noticing as much. Argh I guess I am gonna have to lose more than 10 lbs a month for five months straight then to get that shit noticed?
I dunno. I guess i have always felt like I faker because it's not like I originally went on a diet and slipped insidiously into an eating disorder, one day I just woke up and my dumb 14 year old ass was like, you know what i'm gonna have today? An eating disorder! And then went whole hog for it. All throughout my adult life i've just gone into these periods where it "switches off" and I just ignore food and my body until i balloon up massively, freak out, and go on a diet (that turns back into ED behavior cause I have no clue how to lose weight the healthy way). I don't purge (maybe through exercise, but not the old fashioned way), I don't binge (mostly), I don't have a shitload of fear foods, I don't fast for days. I just eat kinda less than normal dieters do most days.
And, the more faker part is, I don't hate it, i'm not miserable. I mean I feel guilty every time I eat and am totally insane with some things like fasting and counting calories and exercising solely to burn calories, but i'm not miserably trying to escape the ED monster. It's more like an old friend that makes me feel better when it's around and I never know when it's gonna pop in or out of my life. And I don't wanna get better or "recover" because at this point it seems such an integral part of my personality that idk who I'd be without it. If I wasn't a big dirty faker I wouldn't have any of these happy pleasant feelings because I'd be struggling with a debilitating mental illness, right?
Sorry for the long ass rant. I just needed to get these feelings off my chest. Idk where i'm at with things right now, i feel all fucked up like some major part of what i thought of myself is not actually true. I'm glad at least this sub is here.
[Other] Dear proED Family,
/u/bullymeahhh
Created: Tue Oct 16 23:22:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovpn0/dear_proed_family/
---
I have not binged or purged in nearly a month, by far the longest span of time since this stupid disease began. I wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support. I feel stronger every day and so much of that is seeing that we are all going through the same struggle, but we are fighting this together. Keep being you!
Love,
Jacob
[Rant] I'm at 800 for the day but I just want to go order more taco bell.
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Tue Oct 16 23:21:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovpis/rant_im_at_800_for_the_day_but_i_just_want_to_go/
---
I know 800 isn't "enough" according to most nutrition plans but I'm still finding myself craving more sustenance as I've been sick the past week... the only time I give in and listen to my body more is when I'm sick but even then, fighting the haunting voice of "you don't need more calories, you haven't exercised except that light 30 minute yoga."
Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] I hate how much I shift between loving food and punishing my body with food.
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 23:17:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovol6/i_hate_how_much_i_shift_between_loving_food_and/
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Some days I love food and I want to taste everything in the world and cook every night. Then something happens or I look in the mirror or see that the scale went up and I use food to punish myself. I starve because I’m ugly and being 115 lbs will magically change my life. Or I starve and walk up and down the stairs in my house for over an hour as penance for whatever wrong thing that I did. Or I eat something (no matter how low cal) that leaves me feeling stuffed and all I want to do is cry because I’m scared of gaining weight and as penance for eating too much I starve myself. Sometimes I binge because I’m hurting or a voice is telling me “you don’t deserve anything, even being thin so eat until your sick” and now weight gain in penance for being worthless human garbage. As much as I tell people around me that i love food and taste, really food and eating is nothing but a source of unhappiness and suffering.
BED into Anorexia?
/u/caithaa [✧・ﾟ5'7 | 125 | 21F・ﾟ✧]
Created: Tue Oct 16 23:09:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovmrt/bed_into_anorexia/
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I've read lots of articles and posts about how some people experience BED after having restrictive anorexia for what seems like forever, but nothing about BED into anorexia. I know it might sound a bit stupid, and maybe I shouldn't worry so much about the label, but even during my restrictive cycles after binges, I was never really scared of food. If I had something really good in the fridge/pantry, if I held off on it one day I'd end up eating it the next. So I would hold off on buying it, or do things like skip dinner and eat that really good snack. But this last week I've been scared to eat. Like even if I'm good, and way below my calorie limit, I can't eat at all. I'm so terrified of eating. I'm getting a bit worried, I don't really understand what's going on, and wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this? I know it sounds a bit like complaining about nothing, like oh boo hoo your cravings stopped and you can't eat, but my ED has never been like this. It's always been make good choices to stay under your limit, lose control and binge once/twice a week then fast, meanwhile craving/loving/thinking about food. Now I'm scared to open my fridge.
[Rant/Rave] eating with people is really hard for me. eating alone is also really hard for me.
/u/kalianda [5'4" | CW 129 | GW 115 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:52:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovivu/eating_with_people_is_really_hard_for_me_eating/
---
I guess they're hard for different reasons.
Not looking for advice but more like a "yeah I know that feeling" from someone, so I don't feel so alone with this thought. In real life I imagine people would react to this thought like I have 2 heads.
Toning while restricting?
/u/godonvideocall [64.5” | 114 lbs | 19.2 | HW 120 | LW 107 | Queer]
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:51:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovin4/toning_while_restricting/
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Is this possible? I get my minimum daily protein, and I’ve just started doing yoga in the past week or so. Aiming for at least 30 minutes every day plus some cardio because I care about my heart.
I don’t know if it’s worth it though, or if I’m still gonna be skinny fat and I’m kind of panicking about it atm.
Ideas for prepackaged foods that don't go bad?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:48:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovhz1/ideas_for_prepackaged_foods_that_dont_go_bad/
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I need ideas for foods that are prepackaged into portions, plus they don't go bad. I want to 'stock up' kinda on food and stick to a specific plan, so I don't have to go to the store and restock. Plus whenever I buy anything I never eat it in time and it spoils.
Examples that I currently use are canned tuna and protein bars. (I'm trying to go low on sugar and wheat but if there are no more then whatever.)
My body checking habits make me feel like an idiot,,
/u/blodmadchen [BMI: 19.2]
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:41:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovgci/my_body_checking_habits_make_me_feel_like_an_idiot/
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First up: checking myself in the mirror for abs after 5 sit-ups. I literally do not know what I'm expecting. Don't know how to react when I see no progress either, like, no shit. I'm always checking how high up my thighs I can wrap my fingers around, and with my wrists and ankles. And weighing myself so many times a day... I know I don't need to and I don't necessarily want to all the time but it's built into me now. I also have a big folder on my phone of just... body checks. Am I obsessed with myself? Am I impatient? I guess you could say that. I can't be alone on this one though, surely. I'm curious to know what some of you are like regarding this matter.
[Help] Nausea after eating?
/u/MiauMiau1919
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:40:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovg70/nausea_after_eating/
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For weeks now I've felt low-key nauseous after eating anything. I eat a "normal" amount (two meals per day) because I have a duty to maintain my health, but I feel somewhat nauseous after eating. In my head, though, I'm mostly fine. I don't really have those negative "you're disgusting and fat" type thoughts, just a physical feeling of nausea.
Is that a thing?
[Rant/Rave] All the starving and purging but I’m still fat.
/u/speedayyyy [5’7 | CW 162 | GW 120 | 21F| 🍑 @stupidpieceofshit]
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:30:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovdqw/all_the_starving_and_purging_but_im_still_fat/
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It’s not fucking fair. I’ve been stuck in the 160s for almost a month now. I’m weak fucking minded and end up binging when I fast or when I come home from work. I won’t eat for days, then eat a little but then throw it up. Let me at least be fucking skinny if my brain won’t let me have a healthy relationship with food. I feel like a failure. Like I will never be skinny. Fml.
[Discussion] what's the weirdest ED or low-cal food you've made?
/u/northernmountaingirl [5'3" | relapse| gw: 97 | 23f]
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:24:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ovcja/whats_the_weirdest_ed_or_lowcal_food_youve_made/
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mine are probably: gross low-fat-sugar-free-low-cal banana pudding (tasted like chemicals), hot chocolate made using 1/4 of a sugar-free packet + sugar-free chocolate syrup (tasted like hot, vaguely chocolate-flavored water), vegetables thrown together with tomato sauce and a fuckton of spices because i wanted pizza without the calories (weird but very good, would recommend)
Two days after a binge, I weight 3 pounds more
/u/Freaks-Cacao [176cm | 71,5kg | 22,3 | 3,5kg | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:11:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ov95w/two_days_after_a_binge_i_weight_3_pounds_more/
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Even though I fasted the day after my binge (ended the day at 2200 calories). I was so happy that I reached my lowest weight and now I gained three pounds.
How come ? If it was water retention I would have lost it by now, no ? I even made sure to not drink water last evening. Can sodium create a long water retention ? When is it going away ? Will it whoosh if I keep fasting ?
I am actually really upset...I hate that my day is ruined at 6 am because of that. I'm going to the gym tonight of course.
New diet plan: I’m not allowed to eat until I run three miles
/u/_FailingStar_
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:07:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ov85l/new_diet_plan_im_not_allowed_to_eat_until_i_run/
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So far so good, 4 pounds down.
And I almost passed out in the shower. 🤷♀️
My problem is night snacking. It feels good to still have ~1200 calories at 10pm. Usually I eat most at 2-3am. Night owl and weed.
[Rant/Rave] Rant
/u/bunntatt
Created: Tue Oct 16 22:03:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ov77r/rant/
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Binge ate today. Pizza and breadsticks from Papa John's and sun chips. I feel so gross
I go from fasting for a day or two then binge eating what I can. I know it's not good but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Welp, guess I can't eat for the rest of the week
/u/qurrat361
Created: Tue Oct 16 21:46:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ov2wc/welp_guess_i_cant_eat_for_the_rest_of_the_week/
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So, I finally got the opportunity to weigh myself tonight (I haven't had my scale) and when I do, exactly what I feared would happen had happened: I GAINED TWO POUNDS!!! And my fatass I thought I was doing slightly okay with how much I was eating...Apparently not 😔 I swear if this doesn't motivate me to get my shit together and get to those lovely double digits, then I don't know what I'm gonna do,
But on the bright side, I guess I'll save a bit of money I can use for something that won't make me hate myself more than I already do.
[Help] Anxiety screaming at me to eat/binge. How to deal?
/u/OkWorking7
Created: Tue Oct 16 21:28:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ouydz/anxiety_screaming_at_me_to_eatbinge_how_to_deal/
---
I hope this kind of post is allowed here. Just wondering how people handle that anxious feelings/build up that makes your head go "I NEED to eat this shitty food choice RIGHT now, I will not feel better and I will not be able to concentrate until I eat this thing even though logically I know I will regret it and feel guilty afterwards". My normal brain knows when this happens I should take a step back, do some breathing exercises, reassess my goals etc but lately the EAT THIS voice inside my head has just been so loud. I need to somehow get out of this cycle I've been in where the voice in my head has more control over me than I do.
​
​
Anyone else deal with this? I guess even if people don't have tips for me maybe just some reassurance and encouragement would help. I've only been on this sub a week or two but I really love the supportive vibe.
[Discussion] Anyone else feel like they don't deserve to take up space?
/u/hamaesa [5'5|CW:105|LW: 87|GW: 97|F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 21:25:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ouxc7/anyone_else_feel_like_they_dont_deserve_to_take/
---
Some backstory: diagnosed with OCD and anxiety disorders at 8. Major depression at 12. Anorexia at 15. Gender dysphoria at 16. Uhh... basically my brain hates me.
Because of that hate, I feel like I have no right to be big, to eat a lot, to expand and take up space. I don't think this at all about other girls; basically, every girl in the world can pull off being curvy except me. I look horrible. I'm already a shitty person, I can't be fat too, or I would literally have nothing going for me. No one would like me. Not only that but my face looks like an ogre so I have to be thin to make up for it. Anyway... I just feel like I need to be smaller, daintier, so I don't take up more room than I deserve.
Is this relatable to any of you at all? :( I mean does anyone else feel like they can't be fat because they feel like they don't deserve all the extra food and space? Sorry for the depressing post.
[Discussion] What do you expect will happen or change once you reach your goal weight?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Tue Oct 16 21:14:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ouuo1/what_do_you_expect_will_happen_or_change_once_you/
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Genuinely curious...
because as I get closer to my goal weight, I realize I’ll still probably hate my body then... and then I ask myself what’s the point of all of this :/
[Goal] Solidly in the 120s!!
/u/areddittoshowoff [161cm | C: 59kg | G: 54kg | -15kg | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 20:45:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oumof/solidly_in_the_120s/
---
Ahhhh I just weighed myself and I’m at 58kg/128lbs!! I haven’t been around this weight since like.... I don’t even know. I was an overweight kid so who knows. It helps that I fasted today, but since it’s the end of the day I might be a little less tomorrow morning.
Just wanted to share my excitement! ♥️ hope you lovely people are reaching goals too!
(Okay here’s the depression part though.... I really hate how much joy this is giving me. It’s not even making me *that* happy but fuck man where’s my joy why don’t I get any joy afhhh. Oh well.)
[Goal] Mid-October Update
/u/psychedelicpeach [5'5.5'' | 23.5 | CW:144 | GW:125]
Created: Tue Oct 16 20:21:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ouf1d/midoctober_update/
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As promised, here is a mid-month update post to see how everyone is doing. Personally, I failed at every goal I set! Today was one of the first days this month I didn’t have a major binge (still ate like 5 little cookies but stopped myself before things got *really* out of hand). I’m on my period and I’m at the highest weight I’ve been in months :) (I’m sobbing internally). I went to purge right after eating those damn cookies, but instead of throwing up chocolate chip dough, I purged the spicy peppers and pickles I ate earlier! Yayyyy. One thing I am proud of is that I tried to have compassion for my body today (*after* purging lol) and I took a warm bubble bath + used my favorite soap to comfort myself. Anyone else have some unexpected accomplishment?
[Help] Does Coke Zero count during a fast?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Tue Oct 16 20:01:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ou84l/does_coke_zero_count_during_a_fast/
---
Meaning like is it still fasting if you drink Coke Zero or another 0 calorie beverage? I’m just not really sure... wanted some input!
[Discussion] Scraped up the back of my throat while purging. Help?
/u/AtypANA [5'9 | CW 205.0 | HW 220 | LW 120 | GQ 🏳️🌈]
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:59:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ou7c1/scraped_up_the_back_of_my_throat_while_purging/
---
What should I do to help it heal faster? It hurts like a motherf**ker and I need it to stoooppp...
Also I have a dentist appt in a week and I'm anxious they will see it and get suspicious, though I'm still very overweight so probably not.
[Discussion] TV with ed episodes??
/u/yellowposy2
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:58:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ou714/tv_with_ed_episodes/
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So I’m watching the Simpsons, season 16, and in one of the episodes Lisa develops body image issues and crash diets and there are so many background gags about society promoting thinness. And at the end of the episode the Simpsons are all sitting on the couch and Homer is trying to wrap up the story and Lisa says that she still has body image issues, and Homer like begs her to give him a good ending to the show and she says nope it’s a societal issue and it’s still affecting me.
And there’s also that episode of American Dad where Stan develops anorexia.
Not sure how I feel about the episodes I guess, curious if anyone has any opinions or has noticed this happening in other shows.
Loose Skin
/u/horcruxasphodel [5'7 | UGW: 110 | -21 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:45:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ou2nq/loose_skin/
---
I'm losing a lot of weight. I'm down 20lbs in 2 months but I have a long way to go. BED for 3 years ruined my body. I know I can loose another 40 by February easily, but I'm so scared about loose skin. I weigh so much now, that if I get to my goal weight am I just going to be disgusting skin? How does anyone get past this?
​
[Intro] ED taking over my life
/u/msnormanmaine
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:38:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ou07q/ed_taking_over_my_life/
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I have had worthy issues my entire life and have volleyed between 130-160 for years. Most recently I felt mostly comfortable at 160 and wasn’t super concerned about my weight but I have had a lot of life changes and mental health issues and suddenly all I think about is my weight, food and exercise. I use like 5 different apps to keep track of my weight and don’t go to class because it interferes with me going to the gym. I refuse to eat more than 1000 calories and can not imagine going back to normal caloric intake levels . This weekend I purged twice and I hadn’t even binged before, I just couldn’t deal with having food in my belly.
I feel really alone, having this big secret makes it hard to connect with my loved ones even my partner of 4 years. I know this is a slippery slope, but I have lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks and I think I can get to my gw (130) soonish. My plan is to get down to 130 and then be gain weight lifting and becoming in stronger and toned.
I just needed to tell someone because keeping this to myself is triggering me and making me want to purge but I really don’t want to start that cycle.
[Discussion] let's relive our most glamorous ED moments
/u/SterileTechnique
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:35:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otzc2/lets_relive_our_most_glamorous_ed_moments/
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hello i'm feeling lonely and despondent in this disorder and for shits and giggles I decided to make a list of my proudest </s> ED accomplishments.
* eating food out of the trash is a no brainer
* getting splashed by public toilets i'm purging into
* shitting myself in public and not even realizing it until i figure out why it smells like shit everywhere
* bailing puke bacon water out of my bathtub into the toilet because i clogged the drain with so much puke and using my fingers to remove the solid chunks of partially digested bacon
* having to use my own fingers to remove impacted bloody stool from my rectum
* researching weights that would fit into my vagina for weigh ins (if my patients can do it to hide their heroin, it should work for me right?) (don't worry i didn't actually go thru with it)
* losing friendships and family time because i avoided all social situations because there would be FOOD.
* being passed over for promotion even tho I'm arguably the best on our unit strictly cuz my boss knows i'm a mental patient even tho i've never had issues at work but who knows what will set off the crazy one RIGHT??
* measuring out individual spinach leaves to the gram so i get that accurate calorie count
* diverting diuretics prescribed to my elderly dog with heart failure
where is my Netflix drama special already??
[Rant/Rave] Terrified of Weighing in tomorrow morning
/u/ZeroCalCupcake [5'6| CW 222 | GW skinny | -78 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:30:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otxwv/terrified_of_weighing_in_tomorrow_morning/
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Tmi and also the post is depressing sorry //
I’m having one of those nights where I just *know* the scale is going to be up tomorrow.
I haven’t pooped, I have my period, ate a good amount of sodium today, and ate a little above my goal (still below maintenance though) and I’ve lost every day this week. I know tomorrow morning the scale is going to laugh at me and say 223 when I want it to say 221.
I had BED from age 12-20. I don’t binge anymore. I got up to 300 lbs with that. Sometimes at night I have nightmares I gained it all back. I’m down almost 80 lbs. I want to be down 100 by January. I don’t binge any more. I’ve gone the other way. But it doesn’t matter how much I restrict. I’ll never be pretty. I’ll have sagging skin and even if I get plastic surgery there will be scars.
Why is food so hard ???why can something inanimate cause disorders that ruin people’s lives! I hate that my therapist that really helps me with my bipolar won’t let me see another therapist at the same time for my eating. Sucks. I guess I’m just going to have to deal.
Just feel bad tonight. Thanks for letting me rant.
[Discussion] DAE like it when they're weak?
/u/LynCross [152.5cm | BMI: 25.1| CW: 128.75 lbs |UGW: 101lbs |F ]
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:30:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otxra/dae_like_it_when_theyre_weak/
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I grew up very boyish and only recently did I want to become the dainty lovely kind of girl (since it seems like every guy I know likes those type). I hated not being strong enough and I would lift groceries and feel great about it.
Last night I was taking a gallon of water inside and I can barely budge it. It felt so amazing. I felt so "womanly"
Contrave - Has anybody tried it?
/u/niktonikak
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:28:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otwyr/contrave_has_anybody_tried_it/
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Had a breakdown because Michael Cera’s bmi is lower than mine
/u/eatingmen
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:15:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ott5b/had_a_breakdown_because_michael_ceras_bmi_is/
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Exclusively being attracted to skinny weirdos is more of a burden than one would think
[Rant/Rave] Panic attack over buying blackberries and bananas for fear of bingeing them all...ate a cookie and baked lay's for my OMAD....
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:05:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otqfv/panic_attack_over_buying_blackberries_and_bananas/
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That is all....still under my 900 limit!
​
I hate always looking like a mad woman in the grocery store picking up everything and shaking while looking at calories nearly in tears while hopped up on energy drinks, bronkaid, and caffeine pills.
​
Went to WaWa later on and got a cookie and baked chips for dinner. So healthy...worth it!
​
At least there is not food in the house....
[Discussion] Anyone else have a minimum goal for fluids? (And has anyone been successful at managing that and bloating?)
/u/IM_NOT_BALD_YET
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:03:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otpv3/anyone_else_have_a_minimum_goal_for_fluids_and/
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Ok, so I was talking today with a group about how much liquid I NEED to have each day. 12 oz of black coffee as soon as I wake up and right after I pee and weigh-in, then 3 cups of hot tea (no sugar or milk added) throughout the day, plus 3 liters of water (sometimes I have magnesium added). Now I’ve been introduced to these Monsters. I’d always avoided them because I thought they were straight up sugar. /sigh. Now I know about these Monster Ultras and I’ve had to have 2 of these damn things every day for the last couple of days. And since I started drinking the Monsters, I’m feeling so bloated and....round. Should I be adding something? Is it the added caffeine? I can’t drink less, I’ve tried.
Also. Group sucked and I got called childish because I’ve just discovered that I can drink a Monster. So there’s that.
I told my mum I’m bulimic
/u/BEDBulimic [153cm | CW: 55.8 | GW1: 55 | -8.2 | 20F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 19:02:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otpir/i_told_my_mum_im_bulimic/
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My parents have had serious fights the last few nights (physical violence, name calling, swearing, discussions of divorce). I’m mentally and physically drained from these late night fights and having to mediate between the parents, and my sister blaming me for them fighting and not doing a good enough job mediating between them (well fuckin guess what that shouldnt be my job!!!!)
Anyway things have healed over last night and in the wake of their reconciliation, all the tiredness hit me.
Tired of feeling unworthy. Tired of feeling guilty eating any food. Tired of dissociating and bingeing whenever I’m alone (and I’m alone a lot). Tired of sleepless nights watching youtube and movies to distract me as I sink deeper in a procrastination hole with my exams approaching next month (100% weighting for this year), and yet not enjoying myself while I’m doing it. Of starting each day without a blink of sleep, making my self control weaker so I’m bingeing more. And bingeing more means I’m purging more.
There is nothing I fucking despise more than bingeing on food, dissociated, riding the initial high of eating junk and fats and carbs and sugars, and the feeling wearig off, especially as I start getting too full. Then I know I have to purge soon and it’s like a heavy fucking sigh because I know I have to purge. I can’t stand feeling the weight of that food in me, seeing my stomach tight and distended. But I fucking hare purging too. I never get the endorphin rush some people get- I’m not disgusted by the vomit itself but it’s physically and mentally draining.
My point is that I just wanted a fucking break. Peak depression meant contemplating starting cutting again. I tried to book a therapist session based at my uni, but guess fucking what they were all booked out for walk-ins.
After my parents actually talked to each other and reconciled, the whole family had this soft quietness, a small hopeful wholesomeness. Lots of tears shed and hugs.
I told my mum I was proud of her for speaking up and also for owning her mistakes. I told her how this made me hopeful that I could grow myself too, and how theres a lot of shit I had been silently suffering with lately but hadn’t want to give them added burden.
I managed to eek out how I was bulimic (she already knows I’m BED). She was initially asking me if I was doing drugs, so she seemed relieved that it was “only vomiting”.
It was fucking HARD confessing it and saying how she was the one who showed me how to purge and how that was the reason why I go through boxes of gloves.
Her response was supportive but... underwhelming? Maybe I am a fucking attention whore, but all she said was that I shouldn’t do it and how I knew it was doing my harm. She chuckled and seemed impressed I could vomit so easily, and how hard it was for her to vomit (which sparked some ????!! ED signs to me). And that maybe that was the reason why I’ve started snoring loudly lmao. But that was it. She asked me if that’s all I wanted to get off my chest.
Now I’m confused and a little disappointed. Maybe purging isn’t that big of a deal afterall. She told me that I’m the least fat of my friend group (not true) and that I have a nice face so I don’t need to purge (??).
This morning I noticed she took away my box of plastic surgical gloves I use for purging. (I have backups tho lol).
This is a fucking ESSAY so thank you if you read the whole thing. I’m just feeling a little underwhelmed. Getting it off my chest was difficult but nice but I expected... more of a response from her. Idk maybe she has an ED too so it’s not that weird for her. Maybe she was just tired and happy that things got resolved with her and my dad, and that at least I’m not doing drugs. I don’t think she realises that she was a major player in me feeling unworthy and disgusting after all the years she called me fat and made me log my weight daily to show her. That she never praised me once about anything other than good academic results. That she would grab my stomach chub or my thighs out of the blue and not understand that I hate being touched.
Have any of y’all chosen to tell your parents? What’s been their reactions?
maybe it's time to go back to treatment
/u/SterileTechnique
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:57:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oto3u/maybe_its_time_to_go_back_to_treatment/
---
my safe foods are no longer safe. i am purging oatmeal and apples and currently making my way through an entire container of chocolate PB2. oh wait i don't have time for therapy because of grad school & work and i lose my health insurance when i have to drop to a casual position in order to do clinicals. fml.
Getting compliments lately
/u/zaniathin [5’3” | CW: 151 | -9 lbs | F | Relapsed Again]
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:51:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otmfn/getting_compliments_lately/
---
This last week I’ve been getting lots of “you’re skinnier!” Or “You’re looking so much smaller!” comments.
I feel so good about it because I lost about 10 lbs in the past month since I’ve relapsed and I’m feeling better but I still know I’m waaaay too big. I’m overweight at a BMI of over 26. So how big did I look at ten pounds heavier for people to be saying this?! How far must I have been?!
It’s motivation to lose more so these comments keep coming and also so that eventually maybe I’ll actually believe them.
I’ve been eating like a “normal” person to try and trick my mom into not worrying and thinking I’m doing this the healthy way. I’ve been spending a lot of time at my parents house so it’s rough to fake it without actually eating a normal portion. Unfortunately that means the last five days I’ve been sitting anywhere between 1100-1800 calories which is normal maintenance for someone at my height and activity level.
I don’t want to maintain!!! I want to lose!!!
I need to restrict again. I’m starting another water fast tonight (technically tomorrow morning since I’ll be sleeping lol). I need this reset. I really really need it.
As bad as this sounds, I don’t want to be eating more than my toddler everyday. I want him fed and healthy chunked up but it’s because he’s my baby and I want the best for him. Somehow my own body doesn’t deserve that? Idk I’m rambling at this point. I don’t want to set a bad example for him but I sure as hell also don’t want him to have a fat mom and learn those bad lifestyles either!!
Eating pickles in the dark
/u/hunnyangel
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:42:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otjup/eating_pickles_in_the_dark/
---
I just ate 3 baby pickles in complete darkness because my lightbulb is out. Just thought you guys would like to know
[Rant/Rave] Nope.
/u/xxxanon1117 [5'7.5"| 105.4 | 16.3 | -123.1|FTM]
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:35:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oti00/nope/
---
I go to a smallish college so everyone knows everyone. I hot to know a fellow student a few months ago and the 3rd time we hung out she sexually assaulted me and I'm not dealing with it too well. One of my professors noticed me having a panic attack and leaving an event when said student showed up. I made the mistake of telling the professor trying to confide in him and say the bare minimum of the story and who it was because I was hoping he would help me keep my abuser away if she tries anything but he insinuated that the assult could have been invited from me and it was all a misunderstanding. No. I didnt ask for that, but thanks. On my way out of his office he commented on my weight as well saying I'm looking quite thin. So that's something.
back on my bullshit (part: whos even keeping track any more)
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | cw:110 | bmi: 19.5 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:34:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9othk1/back_on_my_bullshit_part_whos_even_keeping_track/
---
Well i banned myself for about two months and finally caved and came back. yippee! i missed this place.
anyways i went into my first real foray into medical recovery early this summer. Like, actually confessed my ED to a doctor, got a specialist and a dietician and an Official Meal Plan^TM . I made a goodbye post (lol) on here not long ago if you want the read.
Basic catch up is: i went in at 105, gained to 113 (BMI:20) and then decided "Ok! i know how all this works now! and i do not want to weight this much" so I wrapped up my appointments, faked some logs for the last few days, and here i am ready again to lose weight. Nothing drastic, i dont really want to fast or low restrict anymore. But I do wanna feel less fat.
so my rules are to keep exercising five times a week, but high (aka normo) restrict to 1250. I dont have to hit 1250, but thats my limit outside of special occasions. Because i want to be in the low 100s again. But also not feel completely dead.
cant wait to comment on everything again! and if anyone has any questions about recovery or ED therapy or dieticians or meal plans, etc, feel free to ask or pm me!
When your Glazed Lemon Loaf tea bags rip but you're poor (does this happen to anyone else?)
/u/LeOssa
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:33:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oth9j/when_your_glazed_lemon_loaf_tea_bags_rip_but/
---
https://imgur.com/C0X5Tyv
[Other] Sudden relapse syndrome
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:26:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otfh9/sudden_relapse_syndrome/
---
It's always been like a switch when it comes to restricting.
Most of my eating disorder has been purge type. I vowed to stop that. And wrestled with eating for a few weeks before being like fuck it and going to all my triggers.
A week ago I was in agony staying at 1300 calories.
Today I had 750. 540 of that from alcohol. A "treat" for only eating a small salad today.
I don't even feel hungry. On a steady diet of bronkaid and caffeinated tea.
Time to make my kids lunch for tomorrow...
[Other] I’m trying to get my thoughts out of my head...
/u/lovleybones_
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:26:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otfgb/im_trying_to_get_my_thoughts_out_of_my_head/
---
https://i.redd.it/3anwkid24ns11.jpg
What's the point of living if we have to continue to live with these demons every day for the rest of our lives.
/u/omadthrowaway119
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:09:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otap6/whats_the_point_of_living_if_we_have_to_continue/
---
I'm tired of hating myself and i'm tired of doubting everything I do and and i'm tired of shutting people out of my life because i don't feel good enough and i'm just ...tired.
What keeps you going
Cinnamon diet coke just hit the shops where I live
/u/Marca19 [5"0.5 | 99lbs | BMI 19.1| FTM]
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:08:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9otahf/cinnamon_diet_coke_just_hit_the_shops_where_i_live/
---
I'm lining up, there's a girl next to me with 4 flavours of diet coke, some sugar free marshmallows and a package of baby carrots.
I see her, she sees my basket of rice cakes and coke.
We nod.
We know.
Restriction feels horrible
/u/hopeless_anon [5'5 | CW: 108 LW: 85 | 17F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 18:06:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ot9qo/restriction_feels_horrible/
---
I guess I'm just complaining but I feel like absolute shit all the time and it sucks because I'm doing high restriction. Why do I feel so awful? Like when I stand up everything goes black for a few seconds and I have to grab onto something.
I can feel my heart constantly beating in my chest, fast and shallow. I felt like this when I was like 20lbs lighter wtf.
Has my body gotten weaker over time? I constantly feel like there are clouds in my head, and earlier I really needed to get some work done so I took a couple caffine pills. Felt pretty damn good for a few hours, but now its worn off and I have a killer stomach ache and just generally feel like ass.
10 Day Fast. Should I throw out all the food in my house?
/u/omadthrowaway119
Created: Tue Oct 16 17:59:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ot7y6/10_day_fast_should_i_throw_out_all_the_food_in_my/
---
I live alone so I don't have much food to begin with. Since i'm home quite often as a student , should I just clear everything edible out of my kitchen? Do you guys do this? If not how do you stay away from the temptation of "just having an apple".
[Tip] You. Are. Enough.
/u/Creative__Username__ [64"| CW 115 ish| 19.1 urgh| GW 100 | UGW 96]
Created: Tue Oct 16 17:42:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ot36e/you_are_enough/
---
it’s one of the hardest things in the world to try to be a productive student when you have anxiety. it’s also, I’ve learned, one of the bravest things in the world. to be able to get up in the morning and build enough energy to try and affect change in your life; even if that means doing something as little as printing out a study guide due in a week. even the little things can help you grow. so if you’re like me, and you feel like you’re doing everything under the sun to be the best you can be, but you still feel like it’ll never be *enough*, take a moment to think about what you have accomplished instead of what you haven’t. and know that maybe tomorrow you’ll feel a little bit better and get a little more done. I promise you that you have enough time. it’s going to be okay.
​
I saw this on Tumblr today, by @stillstudies. i'd change he anxiety to anorexia, or maybe bulimia, or maybe ednos, or bed. important part is that *you are enough.* look at all you've done - it's not for naught.
hugs to my fellow beings <3
Research Recruitment: Recovery Motivation (Adults Only)
/u/AmeliaHardy
Created: Tue Oct 16 17:28:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oszhh/research_recruitment_recovery_motivation_adults/
---
Hello everyone!
For my undergraduate honors project, I am examining recovery motivation in individuals with eating disorders. Participation in this study is voluntary and responses will be kept confidential. Estimated completion time is 20 minutes. Participants who complete the survey will be entered for a chance to win one of three $50 Amazon gift cards. Below please find the link to the online survey:
[https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/3YH9B7Z](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/3YH9B7Z)
If you have further questions about this study, please contact Amelia Hardy, the principle investigator, at [ahardy15@austincollege.edu](mailto:ahardy15@austincollege.edu) or Dr. Renee Countryman, the supervising faculty member, at [rcountryman@austincollege.edu](mailto:rcountryman@austincollege.edu) with the IRB # of this study: IRB #2018-026.
Thank you for your time!
[Rant/Rave] MFP friends is a thing?!
/u/b-carbonate [5’6" | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 21.6 | 🏳️🌈 | 19F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 17:22:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9osxrt/mfp_friends_is_a_thing/
---
WHY NOBODY TOLD ME YOU COULD HAVE FRIENDS ON MFP??
Someone wanna be my friend? I have no idea what it does thought x)
My username is the same as here !
Damn that’s so cool
Im so manic right now
Im so happy
WoW
[Rant/Rave] I have a date with a cute co worker but I’m nervous AF because food
/u/brokenchalkboard [5'1 | CW: 132.8| BMI: 25.13 | Weight Lost: 27lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 16 17:00:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9osr87/i_have_a_date_with_a_cute_co_worker_but_im/
---
so I’m going to fast until Thursday because I don’t want to be bloated.
He’s seriously so fricken cute. He’s very kind and when we work together, we’re both goofy and supportive and it’s fun chemistry. We’ve had after work drinks a few nights, but this is a real date and I’m just excited. And nervous. I don’t wanna eat too much and look disgusting on our date and I also don’t want to purge. Ugh.
[Rant/Rave] Wrong diagnosis on my sheet >:(
/u/hunnyangel
Created: Tue Oct 16 16:57:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9osqes/wrong_diagnosis_on_my_sheet/
---
Okay. I was diagnosed with my ed in 2015, at a specific ed facility. The lady said to me, out loud, that I had osfed, subtype atypical anorexia.
Fast forward, October 2018. I am at a new psychiatrist at a new place. I have to fill out paperwork so that he can get to know me a little bit before I get called in. Standard stuff. As I’m going through the sheets, I see a list of my diagnoses. I scan down them and at the bottom I see BULIMIA NERVOSA.
What’s wrong with that? Well, nothing would be wrong with it if I were actually bulimic.
But I was pissed. I haven’t purged in MONTHS and I literally NEVER FUCKING BINGE.
How did someone hear me explain my symptoms and think “hm, sounds like bulimia”????
Idk it just felt so insulting to me bc I’ve been struggling with starving myself on and off for years, and they fucking put the wrong thing on my sheet.
It’s not that they said bulimia, it’s mostly just that they got it wrong. Something I struggle with everyday, and they get to just forget and put a whole different ed on my list. Jesus.
Feeling good
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Tue Oct 16 16:15:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ose64/feeling_good/
---
Loading weight, feeling good. If I’m still feeling good at lunch tomorrow I’ll treat myself to a ten cal soda instead of zero cal, ten cal tastes much better and it would be a nice way to celebrate
Ballad of the Utensils
/u/Creative__Username__ [64"| CW 115 ish| 19.1 urgh| GW 100 | UGW 96]
Created: Tue Oct 16 16:15:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ose3g/ballad_of_the_utensils/
---
So storytime
I'm at school until 8:30 tonight (night class :P) which means I get to pack my entire day's worth of food and not have to worry about eating after school. today I packed a couple yogurts, some chicken, a peach, and a couple cuties for a dinner omad. However, I forgot to pack utensils. Cue me fishing desperately through the garbage can earlier trying to find a fork or a spoon lol. I found a plastic knife. So I washed it in the women's restroom and ate my peach. Now I have to eat my yogurt. With a knife. And my chicken. With my fingers.
Aren't ed's glamourous?
I hate my body no matter what weight
/u/theunachievable
Created: Tue Oct 16 16:05:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9osaz0/i_hate_my_body_no_matter_what_weight/
---
Sure clothes start to fit better and I feel more comfortable with less fat, but I forgot how much I look like a little elf boy man when I lose. I have wide shoulders and small hips. I look like an 80's women's business suit. It's super annoying and it's not just me, people are quick to point out my "swimmers shoulders" and I get really embarrassed and mad. It's not sexy or cute. Then when I do have a lot of fat on me it goes straight to my thighs, stomach and arms. Damned if I do damned if I don't. What's the point in anything?
[Other] I don't want to be here
/u/Marca19 [5"0.5 | 99lbs | BMI 19.1| FTM]
Created: Tue Oct 16 16:04:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9osawl/i_dont_want_to_be_here/
---
It was supposed to be a good night. We were supposed to go out and make friends and have fun, but I saw my ex across the room holding hands with a girl.
He's perfect and I'm still so in love with him. But I'm transgender, I can never be what he wants and deserves. He tried but it didn't work for him and all I can think is that nothing is ever going to be okay ever again. I lost the chance of a lifetime. It hurts so much to see him so happy and not be happy for him, because he deserves the world.
I spent so long in the bathroom crying and trying to purge up the 5 m&ms that I snacked on mindlessly because the night was going well and I dared to think I could have them. But now I just have scraped hands and scraped knees, chapped lips and the desperate need to go home and hurt myself.
Did I mention? We live together, and we will until next summer. We're students and it was our best option - we couldn't afford anything else and we were happy being 'friends'. I thought I could cope. I'm terrified that now he's found someone he'll want to stop our film nights, our late night tv binges, our casual hugs.
I want it all to go away but instead I have to go out with him tomorrow and pretend that I'm okay. That was supposed to be a fun day out too. And I'm stuck going out for a meal in the evening when all I'm going to be doing is purging it immediately and hoping I hit the ground with my knees hard enough to bruise.
I love him. But I'm never going to be enough.
[Discussion] Stealing and hiding food
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Tue Oct 16 15:51:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9os6ra/stealing_and_hiding_food/
---
Ive had a strange obsession with stealing food. Not because of my ED, ive had it ever since I was around 5. I take things from cabinets and fridges whenever I can... Going to a family members house? Scavenge when they arent looking. Friends house? Scavenge when they arent looking. Looking after neighbors dogs? Make sure it doesnt look to obvious. And I only take low calorie items not in my house... But when I was younger I would take shit for no reason. I'm 13, and my mom always mentions how we get stuff she hasnt bought and I laugh and say "I stole it" she gets so upset but tells me to not do it again... But I do. I'm scared I'm gonna get into serious trouble for simply stealing food... I wish I understood why I do it.
Joined slimming world, so im back bitches!
/u/Drunkenloner42
Created: Tue Oct 16 15:46:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9os577/joined_slimming_world_so_im_back_bitches/
---
Im not losing 3.5lbs a week unless i do a lil fasting 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Does anyone else get this?
/u/xyd001
Created: Tue Oct 16 15:17:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orw7m/does_anyone_else_get_this/
---
This is my first ever post here so I apologise if it’s worded in any wrong way whatsoever but I’m just curious if anyone else has experienced this too?
I’ve suffered with anorexia for many years now and when it gets really bad (in the absolute pits of my disorder) my upper body comes out in a rash sort of thing? The best way I can explain it, it looks like hives? Sorry if it’s tmi or triggering to anyone.
[Help] I'm scared I'm starting to lose control
/u/fiyacht524 [5'6" |CW 50.5kg |BMI 17.89 | GW:48kg| Female]
Created: Tue Oct 16 15:13:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orv5v/im_scared_im_starting_to_lose_control/
---
I'm not sure this is allowed, so delete if I've done it wrong!
Basically, I've never really been a binge eater before. Yea okay I've eaten too many chocolates in one go, or sometimes I've had 2 bagels back to back, but I've never been one for doing all out binges, the type where you lose control or it's all done in a haze. (Sorry if I'm upsetting anyone).
In the last week though I've had three days where I haven't been able to stop myself from eating and eating and eating. I even went into a subway and made and bought a whole sandwich without realizing until I was out on the street. I got rid of all my "treat" foods and triggers, yet I'm still finding stuff to shovel into my mouth.
I even took a bar of chocolate out of the waste paper basket and ate it......
Anyway, I was just wondering if people could give me some advice on how to stop this (or nip it in the bud lol) before it becomes a bigger problem (pardon the pun!). Am planning a full day of restriction tomorrow but can't really fast because I've to drink with my friends tomorrow night..... 😭
i could cry. what am i doing wrong?
/u/sternums [5'2 | literal tub of lard | F | UGW: 95]
Created: Tue Oct 16 15:10:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oru2h/i_could_cry_what_am_i_doing_wrong/
---
so i’ve been restricting hard for the past two weeks and have steadily lost about 1 lb a day. the last 4 days i’ve maintained, like, to the exact decimal place. even after a poop. i don’t understand!!!! my bmi puts me at overweight so it’s not like i’m tiny already lmao. i’m not on my period/bloating. what is happening?? i’ve been consuming the same amount of cals or LESS.
supersize v. superskinny is somehow both terrifying and motivating
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 98 | 15.3 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 15:04:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orsct/supersize_v_superskinny_is_somehow_both/
---
so in the end when the superskinnies and supersizes get weighed, dr christian (irrelevant to the post, but isn't he a fuckin' dreamboat?) tells them how much they've gained/lost and their new measurements. i just watched an episode where a superskinny only gained 2 pounds, but apparently put on 2 INCHES around his middle!!! like, tf? two fucking pounds can increase your waist by that much???? that's absolutely terrifying and makes me terrified of the slightest weight gain. like every other episode a superskinny will gain only a couple pounds but put on inches around their thighs and middle and it scares the fuck out of me. also, i watched another episode where a girl was my height and UGW and i didn't think she looked as thin as i want to look, but i also told myself i wouldn't go sub 14 bmi, but......
on the other hand, though, a supersize will lose 14 pounds but also lose 6 inches around their middle. i know it's different when you're starting very large, but i've lost 30 something pounds since june and i have a hard time seeing it sometimes, so knowing someone can lose so many inches with half of my weight loss is pretty validating and makes me want to keep going.
Scared to start Prozac
/u/nadaste
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:37:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orjny/scared_to_start_prozac/
---
Will I gain weight? I’ve been doing so well. I’m so close to my goals. I really don’t know if I’d be able to handle it if all that was ruined for me. What have been your experiences on it?
vegan low cal ideas?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 24F cw: 🐄 gw: 🌸]
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:33:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ori6w/vegan_low_cal_ideas/
---
surprise bitch, bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
umm so the last time i was really deep in a restricting phase i was an omnivore engaged to a man (i've ID'd as bi for about a decade). now i'm a single vegan lesbian-i-think? and i feel myself drifting down a restrictive path but i'm not really sure what to eat since my old go-to's were poached eggs and fat free soft cheese portioned and canned tuna. lots has changed in my life, for the better but it's still really challenging to move forward with my life after being in a rut for so long and i want to focus on stupid shit that is entirely in my control like meal planning, daily ECA stack regimens and Ballet Beautiful workouts lmao
please share your simple and low cal vegan recipes in the comments, i'll post some of my own as well. also, i'm okay with trace amounts of dairy or egg, like if the flavouring on something has milk powder listed or says "may contain"-- i think it's more important to me right now to hit below a certain number of calories while still having energy to exercise and being satisfied enough not to binge, than it is to be fully strict with veganism.
some of my go-to foods:
bean tacos with salsa and avocado (sometimes a bit of bell pepper, corn, lettuce etc. depending on what i have)
rice cake (the tomato flavour is killer but i think it might have a bit of dairy in it) with hummus
miso soup with a sheet of nori in it
frozen fruit (LOVE frozen mango)
zoodles and tomato sauce (or a small serving of spaghetti because i hate using the spiralizer)
vegetable soup with yellow potatoes, onions, broccoli, carrots in broth with TONS of garlic (#mealprep)
coffee or tea with stevia and cashew milk
sugar-free red bull
carrots and light italian salad dressing dip
oatmeal with a ripe banana and cinnamon instead of sugar
[Rant/Rave] Been accidentally ordering my macchiatos w/ soy instead of almond milk; drinking an extra 70 calories
/u/fulltimepizzalover
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:30:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orhfy/been_accidentally_ordering_my_macchiatos_w_soy/
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lmao I’m literally on the verge of tears right now because I just realized that when I order my macchiatos thru the Starbucks app I’ve chosen soy milk instead of almond milk by accident and it screws me of ingesting 70 cals more
I’m so so mad at myself & also mad at myself for caring so much for 70 calories 🙃
[Help] Calories in microwave-cooked salmon?
/u/lxelan4862
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:28:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orgt6/calories_in_microwavecooked_salmon/
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Everywhere I search I keep getting different answers. The salmon I ate was about an inch longer than the size of my palm, and I keep getting different nutrition facts! Im going crazy thinking about it because I want to bd exact in my measurement but dont have a kitchen scale... any rough estimates are highly appreciated.
[Rant/Rave] I feel a relapse coming on
/u/lovleybones_
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:28:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orgob/i_feel_a_relapse_coming_on/
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And I can’t stop it.
Feels like a hurricane in my brain and the only way to tame is it to starve
1.5 years down the drain of recovery
I’m sorry
[Rant/Rave] I met someone who *gets it,* it's terrifying.
/u/ninetyfiveplease
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:25:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orftr/i_met_someone_who_gets_it_its_terrifying/
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So, I've been casually seeing this guy. His ex-wife is anorexic. This dude calls me out on my bullshit constantly:
"So you didn't eat today, right? What do you want? An entire apple?"
"Oh, right, you want black coffee, because milk is a meal?"
"Yes, we're having meat, potatoes, and soup. And you're going to have some of everything."
On one hand, it's actually nice to talk to someone who's seen it all and is relatively unfazed. It's not scary to him, just sort of sad and mostly annoying. On the other, I hate that it's not my secret anymore. This is a great reason for breaking it off in self-sabatoge.
[Rant/Rave] How do some of you restrict so low for so long without massive health consequences?
/u/sorenkierkegels
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:22:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orerg/how_do_some_of_you_restrict_so_low_for_so_long/
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I don’t get it and it’s not fucking fair.
This relapse only started in July and my health has deteriorated so quickly. And the worst part is I haven’t even been doing anything that extreme. I’ve only been restricting between approx (I don’t actually count cals) 500 - 1000 calories/day with very occasional 2000 calorie days (and no binges thank god).
But I’m constantly cold and my body will NOT STAhp shaking.... like ever. When I stand up I need to do so slowly or I’ll feel myself beginning to pass out. My lips are blue and I have sunken eyes like I haven’t slept in a week..... which is ironic because I sleep minimum 14 hours a day (and not because I want to).
My dietician today told me that my options are basically: A, go back to treatment; B, add a medical doctor to my outpatient team; or C, stop seeing her.
And like I’m leaning towards C..... I can’t afford to (read: won’t) set my school/work obligations aside again to go into residential. And going to a doctor is like my biggest fear because even though I’ve lost almost 45 lbs since July, I’m absurdly hideous and fat and I know that the whole staff will just be looking at me and thinking there’s no way such a fat piece of shit could actually have an eating disorder.
Why did these stupid symptoms have to start.... Why can’t I just starve to death in peace? I’m not skinny enough to be so physically ill what the fuck is happening??!
[Rant/Rave] I hate not knowing what people put into my food/drinks.
/u/berumotto
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:17:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ord07/i_hate_not_knowing_what_people_put_into_my/
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This is gonna sound incredibly bitchy, so bear with me. But this happens all the times when I order drinks.
I hate added sugar. Specifically sugar. If it's cane sugar, or maple syrup, or agave, I don't care. But when I see added sugar in something I didn't think included it, it triggers the shit out of me. Well, my diet's ruined for today! Time to binge.
It sounds like an overreaction because it is. But seriously, I ordered a drink just now that is literally just champagne and vodka. But it tastes so sweet-- that's when I saw the bottle of simple syrup on the counter. The bartender probably used it. And all of a sudden I'm mad as hell because I already took a billion sips and paid for it. Fighting the urge to binge right now but ugh I'm so annoyed.
[Rant/Rave] Just started a new economics class and I already want to drop it
/u/miserablemei [Height: 5’1| CW: 154 |SW: 168| Female]
Created: Tue Oct 16 14:13:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9orbqt/just_started_a_new_economics_class_and_i_already/
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Just got home from class, but at the end while I was writing down my name for attendance two guys were laughing at me and one said and I quote “how is she wearing a skirt she’s fat as fuck” and when I looked over the other guy hit him and said I was right there but they were both still laughing about it. It’s literally so ironic because at the start I realized how perfect all the girls in my class are. They look skinny and tall yet feminine like those Instagram models and have long hair and perfect skin and nails. I cried in my car for a while and like seriously it’s like I’m not even a human being with feelings. I hate being so fat and disgusting I wish I could just saw it all off. If I wasn’t so ugly maybe people would actually treat me with some respect. I guess my new calorie limit is 200 instead of 600 or I’m just gonna fast for a month or til I die from a heart attack. I’m so fucking annoyed and tired I can’t even look in the mirror without wanting to scream. I hate that I binge ate so much to get this disgusting I just wish I was pretty for once. Just frustrated.
I'm going to restrict until someone sees me as an actual human.
/u/Whack-Bat
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:50:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9or4bl/im_going_to_restrict_until_someone_sees_me_as_an/
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I'm a fat, unlovable pile of garbage who has not been hugged in nearly four years, let alone had a partner. I work three full-time jobs to pretend like I'm just too busy for a relationship or any of the stuff I'd like to do, when I'm actually such a fucking disgusting failure of a subhuman machine that nobody could ever want to spend any amount of time with me, romantically or otherwise. But my labor is exploitable, and if I hurt myself it would be like I was taking money out of the pocket of my companies's CEOs, and that would be the worst thing that could ever possibly happen. I mean, you wouldnt walk into a restaurant and just break a table, right? Sure, not a perfect analogy, I'm not as useful as a table and it'd cost more to replace the table, but analogies are never perfect.
So if I'm too fat for anybody to see me as a human, I'll restrict and restrict until I make a single fucking friend or, hopefully, just fucking die. I need to lose 100 pounds at least before I hit the basic human requirement for having any sort of purpose what so ever, so fucking fine. 500 cals a day or less from now on. I do not care what happens to me or the lasting impacts on my health. Its all a lot better than living another day in this isolated empty hell.
[Other] DAE binge right before a social event
/u/1caru3 [5'1 | CW: 113 | UGW: 100 | F16]
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:43:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9or1y8/dae_binge_right_before_a_social_event/
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i fucked up y’all
i had plans to go out with my friend because no school (yay!) and i binged 2000+ calories in the hour right before. i have no idea why... but i mean i fasted all of yesterday and here i am. right now. bloated. hell yeah this is so great 🤘🤘 anyways!! it was so scary, too. i have BED so i’m used to “blacking out” while i eat but this was different. i knew i was binging but i just couldn’t stop myself. ugh this is so stupid i just can’t stop eating. prob gonna fast all tomorrow and thursday too lmao. my life is a big oof.
[Rant/Rave] I gave away my sweets stash to my work colleague
/u/nsagaydo
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:42:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9or1p8/i_gave_away_my_sweets_stash_to_my_work_colleague/
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Hey. Remember last week I mentioned in a post that I found a sweets stash in one of my boxes at work? I've been eyeing them for a while, deciding whether or not I should eat them with my tea... but after I binged and purged last night I just wanna punish my body by starving. So I wasn't in a great mood when my annoying work colleague who always comments on what I eat and my weight decided to pinch my cheek and tell me that my face looks bloated and I look sick. Well yeah, no shit, Brenda, I spent 40 minutes last night bent over my toilet churning out 600 cal because my ED decided to toy with my mind.
​
I got so very pissed and I know that the lady has no self-control when it comes to sweets, even though she always complains to me how much she wants to lose weight. So I offered all my stash to her and then proceeded to watch her stuffing her mouth with candy and chocolate. It was so very satisfying, but in a mean way, and now I feel very bad. It was very passive-agressive thing of me to do. But I mean, she looked very happy doing it, and I guess she likes me even more now?
​
I feel fucked up.
[Discussion] My 7 year old made me lunch
/u/wholesomememequeen
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:41:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9or156/my_7_year_old_made_me_lunch/
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I went out to walk a dog I’m sitting and I came back and my 7 year old made me a sandwich with some fruit and yogurt and a drink. I couldn’t eat it.
I’m a garbage person.
I saw my wedding photos
/u/thrsblyt
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:24:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqvqn/i_saw_my_wedding_photos/
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So I got married recently. It was actually an elopement. We only invited 2 witness because the idea of a real wedding gives me anxiety. My mom's friend took photos (didnt really want to but felt bad about saying no). Anyways we finally got a few images back. I look like shrek. My female friend who is one of the witness is a size 2, she is also tall and I looked like Shrek next to her. I am 5'1" at 160lbs for reference. The photos were lovely and it really showed how happy I was but they will never be posted on social media.
Anyways I've been fasting since October 1 and was actually able to fit in a few pants that I have already retired last year. Havent tried weighing myself though. Those fat shrek photos will be my motivation to keep going.
[Help] ProED I need your help getting out of a work lunch!
/u/Ronskyroo [5'10.5" | 23F | CW: 148 | GW: 130 |]
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:23:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqvfy/proed_i_need_your_help_getting_out_of_a_work_lunch/
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Urgent!
Today has been rough. I broke my no-binge october (the longest I've been binge free) with a binge so large and painful, I'm now curled up in bed crying after unsuccessfully trying to purge.
I need to fast tomorrow. I know my mental state well enough that I need a day to recover, and any unplanned food will make me spiral again.
The problem is, there's a leaving lunch at a restaurant near work for someone who I quite like tomorrow. I have had to choose a starter and main course in advance, so I think I might have to pay a small amount to cancel but that's fine. I need an excuse to get out of this lunch.
What can I say? My only idea is to say I am getting some blood tests done and need to fast for a day beforehand? I don't know and I'm panicking. Help!
[Rant/Rave] I’m fed up
/u/asiaticlily [5’10 | 134.4 | 19 | -47 lbs | F22]
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:20:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oquo8/im_fed_up/
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I haven’t eaten in 48 hours, and I’ve been drinking like a psycho... so please excuse any typos, or general psycho-ness. I just wanted to rant about how much I fucking hate this disorder. I thought I was doing well, and on my way to recovery.. and then something literally fucking snapped inside my head. I saw my weight in the 140s during my period, and I lost it. I can’t even look at food. Of course, it was all water weight, and literally I weighed in at 136 this morning but.. seeing the 140’s again... holy shit, it made me die inside. It was like my disorder took over. So naturally, like any average person, I decided to go on a 3 day bender where I don’t eat, and drink like a fish. Haha. Haha. Honestly, kill me. I need a fucking Xanax.
Libido
/u/sstephenn [Recovering 5'10 | 129.8/58.8 | 18.6 | -60/27.2 | Male ]
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:20:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqujm/libido/
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I don’t wanna go into detail because I feel DISGUSTED but uhhhhh this is UNBEARABLE. Plz chill out body I can’t deal with these feelings 24/7. Is this a part of recovery or something???? Can it not be please????
[Discussion] Anyone want to talk about restricting without calorie counting?
/u/onepostforme
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:14:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqsgb/anyone_want_to_talk_about_restricting_without/
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So I'm reading the comments on a post from another sub and someone asked about weight loss without calorie counting and it immediately made me think of when I was 17 and I went from 157 down to 103 and it was from changing my shitty eating to shitty less calorie eating. We used to drive around stoned and get McDonald's where I'd get a McChicken plain add cheese large Coke no ice large fries or we would go to taco Bell and I'd get a potato griller with no sour cream extra bacon and a soft beef taco with large Baja blast freeze. Then I went to Europe, realized even though I carried my weight better than my mother I weighed three pounds less than her, got so depressed looking at my thin sister (she's 5'2"-5'2.5 and 109#-113#) and all the beautiful thin women who commute every day on foot and go to the grocery store for only what they will eat that day and I stayed inside the apartment for at least five of the fourteen days we were there. Came home to a weight loss of exactly ten pounds and cried to my best friend at the time about how disgusting I looked and it all just sort of broke (I remember saying that it felt like I was actually seeing myself and that if I'm so fat and gross now and she couldn't tell that I'd lost weight that I must have been even worse before I left and those thoughts made my depression and hate for my body brought on by PTSD worse). I stopped ordering lunch and I never was a big breakfast person so that was easy, next thing I know I'm ordering a large water and a mc chicken but not adding cheese and eating it with half a bun, and only one taco from taco Bell and without the cheese. Next I'm eating the mc chicken no bun and not finishing it and just completely stopped eating taco Bell. At this point I was in the 117-113 range and I started ordering just 4 chicken nuggets and always leaving a bite of food behind and this is around when I started looking at calories but not counting them, just telling myself it wasn't a full 100cal granola bar because I left some (now I do this even with zero cal beverages or meals that I weighed out and entered into mfp). By the time I got down to 106-103 range I was forgetting meals, forgetting food, just instinctively saying "no thank you, I don't want anything" without thinking about if I actually wanted anything or when the next time I should eat was. I was stepping on the scale out of habit and seeing the number go down and thinking "awesome!" And looking at myself in the mirror and thinking I looked skinny and pretty. At 96# I started to feel it had gone too far, in less than a year I had lost over 57#,with what felt like little effort, friends asked when I dropped the first 20# and they started to notice, and, all I could say was I eat my McChicken with half a bun, skip the fries and only drink water and for me at that time, that was super easy. I was also worried because I realized I was forgetting to eat. I started asking my at the time bf (now fiance) when I last ate and we would both think about it and at times we couldn't figure it out and other times we'd Trace it back to 4days earlier. My parents made me start carrying a bag of cherrios with me and what I haven't mentioned is that during this time I would commonly vomit to the point of hospitalization and they were pretty worried about the whole major weight loss, not liking to eat, will only eat Tyson chicken nuggets or chicken cordon blue or only eats pizza bagels (limited diet of junk food where I would go a month at a time with one junk food and then switch to a new one). Turns out I have delayed gastric emptying most likely related to my H-EDS (do y'all know how annoying it is to my brain when going between a sub where eds are Eating Dissorders and EDS is a genetic disease?). Gosh everything was so much simpler when I could eat a bowl of lettuce cucumber and red wine vinegar and not want to cry because I didn't weigh it, or even better just eat 4nuggets and not think about food. Anyway this turned into a ramble and also like a background and that's not what I meant to do.
TLDR: Anyone else who lost a lot of weight without actually adding up calories or even not being close to aware how many were in your food? Anyone else who lost a lot of weight just taking their normal diet and reducing portion sizes but not actually track any numbers? Basically, any thoughts or experience with not tracking calories but loosing weight?
[Discussion] DAE squeeze/crumble/demolish yummy food they want to eat with their hands instead of eat it?
/u/InversionDink [5' 6.5'' | 119 | bmi 19 | -12.5 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 13:07:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqq22/dae_squeezecrumbledemolish_yummy_food_they_want/
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I used to do this with bread all the time. And just did it with a fattening cookie. Instead of eating it I squeeze the crap out of it over the trash. Feeling it crumble all over my hands. It's kind of euphoric. Totally weird though.
boots, jeans, leather jacket, oversized sweater, carefree hair, and a thigh gap. these are a few of my favorite things
/u/kalianda [5'4" | CW 129 | GW 115 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 12:34:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqez5/boots_jeans_leather_jacket_oversized_sweater/
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https://i.redd.it/x3jchl3ddls11.jpg
[Discussion] From love to hate
/u/thinraindrop [5.3/162cm | 51kg | 19.4| -24kg | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 12:31:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqdo5/from_love_to_hate/
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Do any of you ever really dig a food, and suddenly you gag at the thought of it?
It happens to me like every time. I make a big pot of soup, I fucking love it and can't wait to eat it everyday, and on day 3 I gag at it and throw it out and never make it again.
Am I weird lol
I’m not losing weight under my maintenance amount?
/u/fjaointehs
Created: Tue Oct 16 12:26:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqc49/im_not_losing_weight_under_my_maintenance_amount/
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My maintenance calories are about 1400 and even though I’m eating 800 most days (1200 on bad days) I’ve stopped losing weight at 105lbs and have been here for a month now?? Help????
[Rant/Rave] Just let me enjoy my OMAD.
/u/GeorgiaLavendula
Created: Tue Oct 16 12:22:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oqaor/just_let_me_enjoy_my_omad/
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I woke up this morning craving a sandwich (Grilled chicken, pesto, and peppers on an italian herb bread) from the shop down the road from my office. They also have great coffee. So, I looked up their kcals, saw that the sandwich/coffee combo I wanted would be about 1200 kcals. That + 3 hours of exercise after work and I thought id be okay. Of course they give me the wrong sandwich (Ham and cheese on white bread) which I discover once I get back to my office. Cue me freaking out over the sandwich and my coworkers teasing me about my food. Like sorry I want the one meal Im eating today to be what I planned??? Why would i settle for processed deli meat over baked chicken? Ugh. Now I feel guilty about eating my sandwich when before I was happy with my OMAD plans.
[Rant/Rave] I gained 45lbs in 2 months lol
/u/greenberyl2 [5'8 | CW: weight restored | GW: 90lbs | LW: 90lbs | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 12:20:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oq9yc/i_gained_45lbs_in_2_months_lol/
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I decided to "recover" and eat insane amounts of food. I avoided weighing myself until today and I'm up 45lbs, wtf.
Hello relapse.
Can an eating disorder kill you when you're not even underweight?
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 12:16:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oq8qt/can_an_eating_disorder_kill_you_when_youre_not/
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I starve for weeks, chew and spit every day and purge the bits I accidentally swallow. Every. Single. Day.
I dry heaved and almost feinted earlier at work. I'm getting stabbing chest pains post purge right now, and shitting my brains out from all the pickle juice I drink.
Am I gonna die? Do I really need help? The idea of having solid food in my body is terrifying to me. Feeling full is misery. That little bloat you get after eating a meal is literal hell.
[Tip] Tips for cutting calories in food!
/u/eggheck [5'3"|SW: 128lbs|CW: 118 |GW: 95|Male]
Created: Tue Oct 16 11:59:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oq2vm/tips_for_cutting_calories_in_food/
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1. Use granulated Splenda instead of sugar, you can find it in the sugar isle in a big bag
2. If making instant Mac n cheese, use eggs instead of butter! Kraft’s box calls for 4tbsp of butter (400 calories) but use one egg instead (70 calories) and it’s almost the same. This might work for homemade Mac too, not sure!
3. Use fat free Greek yogurt in baking instead of fats like butter or sour cream. Of course, the texture will be different (usually lighter), and you couldn’t do this when making puff pastry or something, but if you’re making cookies or muffins, it works great and the consistency is still really good.
These are just things I’ve picked up over the years, feel free to add more in the comments! I also posted this on r/1200isplenty.
Lunchtime
/u/litsticks
Created: Tue Oct 16 11:54:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oq19j/lunchtime/
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https://i.redd.it/u2h7zrt66ls11.jpg
Is a Fitbit worth it?
/u/ZeroCalCupcake [5'6| CW 222 | GW skinny | -78 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 11:47:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9opyy8/is_a_fitbit_worth_it/
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I’m thinking about getting one to make my calculations of calorie burning more accurate but I’m worried it’s going to turn into one of those gadgets I buy that just sits in a corner. Do you use one/find it helpful?
Thanks 💕
Thanks Uber Eats for being shitty
/u/vucio72 [5'1 | cw: 115 | gw2: 110 | -37 | f]
Created: Tue Oct 16 11:42:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9opxae/thanks_uber_eats_for_being_shitty/
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I was gonna binge on a stupid amount of food from a restaurant that I love so much but haven't touched in a year, but then an hour went by... And another one. And the driver never came. So I got a refund for the money I spent and instead of 2500+ calories I'm having 70 cals of hot chocolate. Can't tell if I'm very happy or very disappointed.
[Discussion] Fall break + my ED = torture
/u/kenziixoxo [5'5" | CW: 136.4 | BMI: 22.7 | GW: 105 💕]
Created: Tue Oct 16 11:00:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9opivw/fall_break_my_ed_torture/
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I hate this. I don’t work during break, my husband does, so I’ve been home alone ALL DAY for like 3 days and I run out of homework and things to distract me so all I do is think about food.
In better news, I haven’t binged and I’ve been able to restrict to 800 cal for the last three days (not the most I’ve restricted but I haven’t restricted since like July so it’s something) and I lost 2 lbs!
[Rant/Rave] I binged but i didnt ruin everything! (Long ramble)
/u/onepostforme
Created: Tue Oct 16 10:54:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9opgvk/i_binged_but_i_didnt_ruin_everything_long_ramble/
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So I was proposed to last Wednesday, woke up Thursday weighed myself 107.8, wanted to be 106 but hey it isn't a big deal I'll probably be 106 by Monday! You're engaged! Let's be nice to ourself and just be happy!
Except I guess being nice to myself is getting fall down drunk and eating Texas Roadhouse in my bedroom with my fiance because my dad brought it home to celebrate the engagement (super nice of him at least in thought)
Sunday fiance goes to work, I feel hungover and guilty about all the alcohol, so I punished/rewarded myself(?). Started out with a small salad but I didn't measure any of it and I set it aside and felt like shit about not knowing the calorie number even though I logically knew it was small. This did something wierd in my brain.
I asked Dad to get poweraide zero and more lettuce from the store and planned on asking for a few more things but he surprised me and went earlier than I expected. I'm unloading groceries and he bought five pineapples (man is insane he should not be trusted in a grocery store but my DL is expired and fiance is borrowing my car till he gets a new battery for his) a huge can of pineapple juice (stacked under the cubbord with the other huge can and a six pack of mini one serving cans) a package of ground beef, two orange poweraide zeros, one grape, and three caramel apples. Now my kitchen is a fucking mess and my mom's out of town and fiance doesn't like caramel so I let my dad know and then I ask him if I can have one (duh onepost why do you think he bought three?) And then I take it to my room and devour the whole thing.
(This next part is a long ramble about what I ate, can be skipped/isn't too important)
That's when the binging kicked in and I ate three pizza rolls with three cauliflower tots because that's half the serving so I don't feel so bad. Then it was turkey salami and cheese, then it was cheese it's, then it was more salami then to stop myself from eating the second caramel apple I ate a fiber one brownie, then a 45cal cheese stick that I shared with my dog and another slice of turkey. And I sat there and I was totally going to stop, I was mad at myself and it was time to stop and that was going to be the end of it, that was so the last thing I ate. And then my dad's like "ya want some chicken and dumplings from cracker barrel" and I'm like hell the fuck yeah and I just kept binging. Like he left for roughly an hour and a half to run an errand and get the food and I had another cheese stick and more cheese it's and a few bites of Halo top and more salami and more aged Gouda and then he came home with the cracker barrel. He got three meals but there was only two of us and fiance isn't a big fan of chicken and dumplings and was getting me Wendy's so I knew he wouldn't eat it. Three meals with three choices of sides I took the one with out mashed potatoes or the cooked apples because it would be lower cal and I knew I wouldn't eat much of the over cooked veg but I totally would have devoured the mashed potatoes or the cooked apples. Take it to my room, remember to add salt and a fuck load of fresh cracked pepper (because cracker barrel is shit compared to where I fist ate chicken and dumplings and this is the best I can do to make it good/less bland) and I ate that so damn fast but I left a dumpling behind to make myself feel better. Then fiance brought home chicken nuggets that I asked for from Wendy's then more meat and cheese (curse the aged smoked Gouda, fr somebody get that and the salami away from me) then a few more bacon cheddar cheese its, then I ate the last caramel apple and finished everything off with a teaspoon of peanut butter. Took lax over the course of the day and ended the day dreading Monday.
Monday morning I get on the scale first thing to punish myself and I'm 112.2.... okay let's try not to freak out. Let's just fast. The damage is done. We will weigh ourself a few more times after this lax kicks in. Actually did fast yesterday (besides the late night alcohol but I don't track that so let's call it an extremely unhealthy liquid fast) got 18,833 steps (430 cal according to Samsung health app) weighed again before I showered and was exactly 1lb down. Went to bed calculating how many days I'd have to fast if I don't count exercise cal for me to loose the 3.5lbs and constantly needing to pee.
And today I woke up and I weigh 107.4 yay woosh yay it wasn't all fat yay I still have my baby theigh gap yay yay yay because I had myself convinced that I had fucked up bad. Going on a trip to Denver in 15days (oct31-nov3) with fiance for celebrating and pot smoking and I already have a few restaurants I want to eat at picked out and looked at and so does fiance and I will give myself those three days to eat drink and be merry! I will most likely binge and that will be okay. I will fix the damage before my next planned binge on thanks giving when I see family I haven't seen in years (and the foods they make and the restaurants that aren't from chains and my sweet sweet delicious chicken and dumplings will be reunited again)
Any way the point of all this is binges can suck but binges can also be fun and having a planned binge is super helpful and motivating. Plus planning on binging on really awesome food is so much better than binging on cheese it's.
Rant:I binged and hated myself and didn't even binge on the best foods, and all while I was so close to mini goal weight
Rave: I didn't eat that second order of chicken and dumplings, I didn't let this go on farther, I held myself accountable and expected to have to deal with the consequences, I will eat delicious food that's hi cal soon enough to be happy, and most importantly I didn't fuck everything up, I didn't reverse the weight loss, just stalled it
Probably gonna delete this mess because it is horribly written and not that interesting
[Discussion] 2 days into a fast...
/u/Therinnyone
Created: Tue Oct 16 10:46:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ope73/2_days_into_a_fast/
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... And now I feel like I never want to eat again!!
Last week I felt like I literally could not stop binging and was miserable. I found the first day was the hardest and I felt so contrary, but now I feel on top of the world!!
Does anyone else get like this? 😁
bronkaid/caffeine and heart rate?
/u/bruteheart [5'3 | CW 131 | HW 164 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 10:44:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9opdpz/bronkaidcaffeine_and_heart_rate/
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have you guys ever measured your heart rate on it? it’s my first time stacking and i took 12.5mg of bronkaid and 100mg of caffeine. my heart rate seems pretty high rn (84 bpm) and not sure if this is normal or if i should be worried??? my paranoia is probs making it worse tho honestly
but yea besides that i feel fine
Calories in vitamin supplements
/u/mediocremermaidd
Created: Tue Oct 16 10:34:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9opa4o/calories_in_vitamin_supplements/
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Does anyone know the calories in multivitamins? I tried looking it up and it says they are calorie free but I was just wondering if other people 'counted' them?
[Rant/Rave] Skip the cigs, vape essential oils!
/u/alienatkerba
Created: Tue Oct 16 10:23:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9op6ch/skip_the_cigs_vape_essential_oils/
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A couple weeks ago someone posted about getting a pumpkin spice eo vape pen from monq, well my order from them didn't work out so I ordered some pens from corked instead! I've seen a few posts from people considering taking up smoking cigarettes, don't! Like I realize it's probably a placebo effect, but I feel the eo vapes do a lot for me as far as replacing the *feeling* of smoking a cigarette and I can use them to distract myself from hunger in the same way. I personally also find the scents calming, and you can even choose your own blends. I got mine yesterday and sorry for my rambling but I'm so excited about them!!
I lost two lbs in one day?
/u/emlae_reddit
Created: Tue Oct 16 10:00:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ooycf/i_lost_two_lbs_in_one_day/
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I lost 2lbs AND I went over my amount of calories yesterday?? How
My skinny younger sister is coming to visit and it's triggering me
/u/mondschein1
Created: Tue Oct 16 09:35:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ooq8g/my_skinny_younger_sister_is_coming_to_visit_and/
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I live abroad with my partner. My very skinny younger sister is coming to visit for a week. She's 23, 7 years younger than me and way thinner.. at least that's how it seems (we're the same height, both underweight, but she doesn't have an ED and is few kg lighter). Her appearance has always been very triggering to me and as the day approaches I've been highly restricting again. I'm hoping maybe I won't feel as fat next to her when I lose some by the time she gets here.
She has these wonderful long thin stick legs and is overall better built. I seem sturdy compared to her, I think my legs look crooked and my butt is huge. So basically I feel very large next to her. She's so dainty, skinny, bony. I'm aware that this is probably just my body dysmorphia talking, but it is causing a lot of anxiety to the point that even my dreams are about ED lately.
[Rant/Rave] people being a psycho cunt: thinspo edition
/u/-bluehoney- [5'3" | sw 187 | cw 164.8 | gw 120 | ƒ |🍑bluehoney]
Created: Tue Oct 16 09:31:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ooosd/people_being_a_psycho_cunt_thinspo_edition/
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So my SOs ex has been consistently harassing via texts and the like. Now they’ve taken to sending pictures of me from my social media followed my pictures of mama June talking about how fat and gross I am.
I am obviously nowhere near that size. Never been that size. Whatever.
She also dug super deep into the internet apparently and talked about how fat and disgusting I was at 14.
This, on top of messaging me personally once and feeling the need to tell me what a fat slut and whore I supposedly am, on top of other stupid bullshit that isn’t true.
It’s just laughable. Her hairline doesn’t exist and neither do her eyebrows, barely her lips. Would I message this psychotic bitch and tell her that? No, because I don’t believe in bringing someone down like that, no matter fucking what. Judging by her pictures she could stand to lose a few, even, so idk what she thinks she’s winning here. She got knocked up at 17 and is now 40-whatever harassing me, but I’m the slut who lives with my legs open. ...Right. Not saying having a kid young makes you a slut. I don’t think ANYTHING makes anyone a slut bc #feminism. But I am definitely saying she, in particular, is a messy bitch.
She’s so insecure and hysterical. I’d almost feel bad for her if she wasn’t wasting my fucking time with her shit, or spending so much energy trying to convince the world I’m some horrible harlot. Fuck her. I’m just gonna keep doing what I’m doing. My boyfriend and I are happy together. And also getting a restraining order. ☺️
[Rant/Rave] I broke my fast early and had 300 calories total for the day. Feeling like a failure :/
/u/narkreturn
Created: Tue Oct 16 09:26:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oon1n/i_broke_my_fast_early_and_had_300_calories_total/
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I am scared
/u/taikutsuu [5'9'' | cw: 119, -33 | 17.2 bmi | gw: 105 | 19f]
Created: Tue Oct 16 09:19:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ookr5/i_am_scared/
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I have eaten a total 3000 calories in the past two weeks? I tried to eat some fries two days ago and I couldn't manage to even eat half of it because it made me sick. So, I'm getting sushi now. An all you can eat buffet, with money that I do not have, and I'll probably be out after the first round, but I want to be able to eat again so badly. :(
i passed out
/u/DavidMitchellTurtle [5'8" | M/18 | SW 275lbs | CW 190.8lbs | UGW 105 | BMI 29.23]
Created: Tue Oct 16 09:07:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ooh0t/i_passed_out/
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I'm not even in the healthy weight range. I'm actually damn near obese.
my face fucking hurts. but I'm not gonna stop, am I?
stay safe, lads
[Rant/Rave] First day back in the gym after 1.5 months of b/ping every day multiple times a day
/u/thingsarestranger [5’2” | CW:121 | GW1:115 | SW:160 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 09:02:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oof38/first_day_back_in_the_gym_after_15_months_of/
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Aiming for 1200 or less cals today don’t want to push myself too hard with jumping back into low restricting but I’m ashamed to update my flair I’m up to 128 pounds :( ruined a lot of progress and I look so flabby. Had to force myself to hit the gym today maybe I’ll try and burn 500 cals... need to reach my UGW by the end of the year but now it seems unattainable sigh
~~~~ b a l a n c e ~~~~
/u/whydiepizzapie
Created: Tue Oct 16 08:52:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oobun/b_a_l_a_n_c_e/
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*ups daily calories from 300 to 500 to do better in school*
*Triples daily steps and walks for hours a day*
Wow I love how balanced am, this is *so* fun, I am having *such* a good time with my life!!!!!!!! 🙃
[Discussion] Anyone here high restrict?
/u/Izzy570 [25F | 5’4 | CW 111lb | BMI 18.8 | GW 100lb | LW 94lb | ]
Created: Tue Oct 16 08:43:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oo8z9/anyone_here_high_restrict/
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Usual trigger warning because weight and calories.
I don’t mean 800 calories either that’s a tiny amount! I mean like 1,200+
My TDEE is 2100-2,300 currently because of walking and gym and I guess I do have somewhat of a ‘high’ metabolism...
When I first developed(?) an ED I was eating around 500 cal or less/purging ect and I ended up around 94 pounds
I’ve relapsed but I cannot function on less than 1,000 and I have to keep up energy for the gym (dat mood boost). I’d love to restrict more and eat so much less but it’s not a good idea when you are lifting weights.
So currently eating around 1,000-1,500, weight is coming off (slowlyyyy... got a feeling I have a lot of water weight because tbh I don’t drink as much as I should) just wanted to know if I’m alone in this, makes me feel like I don’t have a ‘real’ eating disorder even though rationally that’s rubbish, I’m almost underweight again and having exactly the same struggles and thoughts/habits as before even if I’m not eating 300 calories a day.
SS vs. SS ???
/u/fccg12
Created: Tue Oct 16 08:30:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oo4ze/ss_vs_ss/
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Just discovered this show and I’m so happy I did. But also am I ridiculous or is this show?? I feel like the dr guy is like “she only eats a minuscule 1700 calories a day I’m going to show her how this is killing her body” isn’t that a lot?? I wish I could eat 1700 and be underweight?? That’s like maintenance for a lot of people?? Lol I’m not sure if this is just putting in perspective how disordered my thinking is but what
Another one of those days...
/u/InsatiableLardo [5'5" | 186.5 | female]
Created: Tue Oct 16 08:23:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oo2rn/another_one_of_those_days/
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.. Where you look in the mirror and give up hope.
[Help] [ binge eating disorder ]
/u/onefatgirlhere
Created: Tue Oct 16 07:58:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9onuuo/binge_eating_disorder/
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I have been binge eating for the past 1+ months and today I just binged to 2500+ kcal when my usual calories intake is ard 1000+ )); I need help to stop eating mindlessly
[Goal] i'm worried i'm not going to hit my goal by christmas.
/u/catsarepink [5'3" | GW:113 | -5.6lbs | 25F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 07:47:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9onrkq/im_worried_im_not_going_to_hit_my_goal_by/
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i live in a different province from my family, and usually only see them at christmas now :( last year at christmas, i was at one of my highest weights. it was really embarrassing. my weight has yo-yo'd since then as i've gone through binge/restrict cycles, and i'm terrified that i won't be able to lose enough weight to look skinnier by the time i go home. it makes me feel like a failed adult to be fat, like i'm letting everyone down by being unable to control myself. christmas is really hard for me: so much of it is centered around food. i want to eat like a normal person, but everyone jokes about how much i eat. my family constantly jokes about me having a "hollow leg" whenever i eat around them because apparently i eat soooo much (let's be honest, it must be true because i got this fat). i don't want to be left out since the food is really good, i look forward to it all year... but i don't want to show up fat again and eat so much that other people laugh at me. it's bad enough that i hate myself for how much i weigh, i don't need other people laughing at me.
i have to lose 25lbs before christmas and i think i'm still going to be fat.
Why can’t let this go?
/u/throwawayyuy
Created: Tue Oct 16 07:41:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9onpv6/why_cant_let_this_go/
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I hope this isn’t just me but I feel so attached to this Eating Disorder like I just can’t let go of it and I don’t really know why? Like I’m told to stop losing weight and I’m like “lol nope, I won’t even consider that shit until I’m less than 18.5 BMI”. At least it’s only 17.2lbs away I guess 🤷♂️
Also fuck my family member who called this shit stupid and that if I die it’s my own fault. Also also fuck people who think I can’t have this because I’m a guy. Rant over.
[Help] Hair Loss caused by ED???
/u/gothicusmaximus [5'10" | 110 lb | BMI: 15.8 | Male | LW: 97]
Created: Tue Oct 16 07:34:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ono33/hair_loss_caused_by_ed/
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Fuck, I’m losing so much hair. There’s a lot on my pillow and I run my hand through my hair and so much comes out. I’m assuming it’s due to poor protein intake? Though I take a large dose (10,000 micrograms) of biotin every day, which should be helping my hair? Right?
I take Avodart® to stop male pattern baldness, yet now I’m losing hair because of what, poor diet? This is bullshit. I’m not malnourished. I take fucking supplements. I’m not that underweight, and I don’t even restrict that low.
There’s so much fucking dandruff as well. My scalp is in awful condition, and I don’t know why. Ketoconazole shampoo doesn’t seem to help... it should be helping.
Any advice? I’m thinking I need to try and up my protein intake, and hopefully that’ll fix things. I don’t want to gain weight, though. I mean I knew my protein intake wasn’t great but I didn’t realise it was THIS bad??? Ugh.
[Goal] My UGW seems so far away
/u/WhatsAMooseSay [5'5 | 192 lbs | -83 lbs| GW2 180 | UGW 115 | 27F ]
Created: Tue Oct 16 07:20:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9onjur/my_ugw_seems_so_far_away/
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I'm about half way there (83 pounds down! 77 to go!)
But A) it kills me that even at the halfway mark, I'm still obese.
And B) it fucking sucks that I've lost so much weight!!! But still have so far to go. It seems so unattainable, but the 190s seemed that way last year and I made it, I guess.
Early morning rambling - I've been plateaued for a while and that's probably contributing to the despair 😂
[Rant/Rave] first time drinking monster all day long with a fit-bar; It's great!!!
/u/LynCross [152.5cm | BMI: 25.1| CW: 128.75 lbs |UGW: 101lbs |F ]
Created: Tue Oct 16 07:19:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9onjko/first_time_drinking_monster_all_day_long_with_a/
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I'm back on high restricting and saw that you guys really like monster, so I tried it. Oh my god??? It's so good? I mean- taste wise sometimes it taste like medicine but wow, it gives me energy and really curves my appetite. It's amazing!! It also got my heart pumping since it's an energy drink so I didn't look dead at the office at all.
[Discussion] DAE use hunger as a punishment for yourself?
/u/Biiou
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:55:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9onct6/dae_use_hunger_as_a_punishment_for_yourself/
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My boyfriend got mad at me last night over something I did and I woke up today really upset over what I did so now I feel like i gotta make myself go hungry to the point of passing out. Like maybe if i was getting the nutrition i need instead of drowning myself in diet coke my brain cells would actually invest in proper conflict management. 🙃🙃 I love this man but I feel like this ED is ruining my relationship.
I don't know how to be okay [trigger]
/u/DandelionClover
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:50:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9onb7n/i_dont_know_how_to_be_okay_trigger/
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I don't know if it's an eating disorder but it sure feels like one. I've never been diagnosed.
I've gone from underweight to borderline obese several times. There's usually a couple years in between each thin cycle. When I'm small I fast and live on diet soda, coffee, Adderal and occasionally eat. When I'm bigger I sleep and binge drink then eat 6,000 calories of junk food on top of all of it.
If I'm binging, I'm too horrified to even consider how many calories I'm eating. I feel miserable. I don't go outside, I stop socialising, everything I wear is long and baggy. I feel horrific.
I'll see people that knew me when I was thin. And I get this god awful feeling they're secretly judging me for it because I know I look awful. All I want to do is hide and drink and eat. I told myself I'd never get like this again and I feel like a complete, utter failure.
Then one day I snap. A boyfriend said something or I broke the binge cycle and decided that empty feels nice. And it becomes all about calories and being thin again. I lie to everyone because they worry I'm not eating enough. I ate at work, I feel sick, I ate mine while I was cooking... I start thinking it's obviously other people that are wrong - *they* eat too much, they're the ones with the problem. I'm healthy because fasting is *good*.
I lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I abuse my Adderal. People tell me how good I look and I keep going. Mom starts to get worried. I get carded for booze and cigarettes again. My boyfriend can't keep his hands off me. People hit on me in bars and the feeling is electric. I start going out more, I wear tight clothes and I have so much confidence.
Objectively, I know I look better. But I still feel fat. That pouch of skin/fat between my hip bones will never go away. My legs still *slightly* touch at the top. I look better but I
feel like I still have so much to go.
Then I start to get comfortable. This burger will be fine once, I'll make up for it tommorow by not eating. This soda is fine, it's only a one time thing. Eventually I start to think fasting for days isn't normal. I figure eating a bunch is "normal" and I'm "recovering". So I'll try to eat healthy. It works for a little while. Then I slip up and comfort myself with food and booze. Then I'm hungover so I binge. And feel guilty so I drink again. And it starts all over again.
Thin, binge cycle, overweight then back to starving. No matter how many times I tell myself it's the last time.
I'm so sick of it. I wish I could have a healthy relationship with food. It's getting more extreme every time and I don't know how to get help. Doctors brush me off. Family doesn't understand. Boyfriends ignore it. I don't have friends.
I'm scared. I'm starting to slip again. I'm scared because I've started fasting, chain smoking and doing drugs. I've started lying about eating. I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I knew how to be okay.
First time poster, sorry if I broke the rules of the sub.
[Rant/Rave] Accidentally bought the sugar kind :(
/u/GameofLoans16
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:41:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9on8xz/accidentally_bought_the_sugar_kind/
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https://i.redd.it/ppwk1r6bmjs11.jpg
[Discussion] DAE feel too scared to weigh themselves?
/u/Serenescence
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:21:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9on3k6/dae_feel_too_scared_to_weigh_themselves/
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I was 14 when I started heavy restricting. I followed a heavy vegetarian almost vegan diet, but it was mostly to cut my food intake down as much as possible under the guise of “I’m doing it for the animals” so my parents wouldn’t get suspicious. I got really skinny, I went down to about 105 pounds (I’m about 5’8). I started to not restrict so hard when i met my boyfriend, and following his eating habits over the past few years I haven’t really restricted at all and I’ve gone back to a full omnivorous diet.
I’m 19 now, and I haven’t REALLY gained much weight back since then. I’d estimate maybe 10-15 pounds maximum? (Given that I’ve also gotten taller since I was 14). Now after a series of binges over the past few months I’ve been restricting recently. It’s really, really hard to, I know I used to be able to restrict so easily but I ruined that mindset and it’s so hard to get back into it. But out of everything, I’m so TERRIFIED to get back on the scales and weigh myself that I’ve just been avoiding it. I know that I’ll probably grossly underestimate how much I’ve gained and it will fuck me up super bad. I’m still skinny, just a tiny bit more squidge in certain areas, but I know that if that scale doesn’t read 110 pounds I’ll really fuck myself up.
[Rant/Rave] Didn’t count calories yesterday
/u/andinev
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:12:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9on1fw/didnt_count_calories_yesterday/
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Yesterday I didn’t count my calories. I ate “normal” sized portions of lunch and dinner and drank a hot chocolate with whipped cream and caramel syrup on top. I only did it because my good friend (who’s also my fuck buddy lol) got so frustrated with the way I was eating the day before. It’s not even like they were mad that I was starving myself they just hate how I talk about it and all the shit. So I told them I wouldn’t count calories and I’d eat like a regular person and I did it.
Cut to today, I thought I’d restrict to like 400 cals but I’ve already eaten 225 cals of muffin and it isn’t even 9am. I’m scared that after one normal day I won’t be able to stop. It really makes me sad cuz I just hit 106 lbs and 105 is one of my goal weights. Idk
[Rant/Rave] The only thing I have right now is my ED
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:11:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9on16t/the_only_thing_i_have_right_now_is_my_ed/
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After a few days of feeling absolutely amazing, I’m having one of my more terrible depressive episodes and I never felt more worthless. I’ve had two job rejections in less than 24 hours (one from a position I really wanted and one from freaking retail) and learned that everyone in my family thinks I’m a huge liar drama queen who’s just mooching off her parents. I feel like absolute human garbage and I don’t see my life going anywhere. My anxiety is through the roof and I haven’t had a good sleep in weeks.
I see college friends and people I knew in high school doing amazing things and I have nothing and see no future for myself. My mom is pressuring me to go to graduate school next year when I don’t feel ready and which isn’t even possible because the GRE isn’t until next year and I really don’t think I would get into anywhere good give my less than stellar GPA. I’m also ready to give up on even trying to go to law school for that exact same reason. I really feel like I messed up my own life so what’s the point of having dreams and goals when I feel like the world is telling me it has nothing to offer me. Everyone runs their own race and blah blah blah but i think my time on the track is over.
I was feeling so good a few days a go. I was ready to try and eat a few fear foods this week and I was feeling really hopeful about my future and just life in general but now I’m back to finding comfort in the safety net of my depression and ED. I really see no point in anything else.
[Sticky] Thinspo Tuesday October 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:09:45 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9on0nq/thinspo_tuesday_october_16_2018/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to post pictures of anything that inspires or you find to be something "motivating".
**Please note that we are not using this post to glorify or glamorize eating disorders. Anything that is not clearly from a professional photo shoot or is "bonespo" (extremely thin to the point of being skeletal) will be removed.** Selfies, bodychecks, or OOTD posts will also be removed as they belong in the Friday sticky thread.
*****
Thinspo threads are posted every Tuesday.
Have any questions or concerns? Looking for self-care and beauty tips? Comment below, or [PM the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) and feel free to take your self-care/beauty needs to the "Stupid Questions Saturday" weekly thread!
[Sticky] Daily Food Diary! October 16, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 16 06:09:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9on0ia/daily_food_diary_october_16_2018/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 16, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
[Rant/Rave] Mother-In-Law is having a party on Saturday.
/u/crookedlypoetic [5'7" | 196.8 | 30.? | 78.2 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 16 05:49:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omv9e/motherinlaw_is_having_a_party_on_saturday/
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And I am terrified. I am 10 pounds above my lowest weight which is when these friends of hers saw me last. Why is this such an issue? Because their culture judges my weight and overweight people in general HEAVILY and I just don't want them to see that I haven't gotten any lower. Fuuuuuuuuuck this is so frustrating!!
Like a punch in the stomach.
/u/hearip88 [5’6 | CW: 156 LW: 92 HW: 206 GW: 120]
Created: Tue Oct 16 05:45:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omuda/like_a_punch_in_the_stomach/
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My wife asked me for a divorce and moved out yesterday. She texted me and when I read the words “I’m done”, it was like a literal punch in the stomach and I immediately felt the need to restrict. I can’t explain why “oh shit can’t eat” was one of my first thoughts after she told me. I don’t know if it’s the urge to control something when my life is spiraling out of control or if it’s my safety blanket.
Anyone else understand this reaction?
[Rant/Rave] I hit underweight and MFP says my BMI is still over 18.5?!
/u/rattles-snakes
Created: Tue Oct 16 05:32:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omr59/i_hit_underweight_and_mfp_says_my_bmi_is_still/
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Context: between 5 ft 7 and 5 ft 8, 20 tomorrow, 55/54.7 KG. I have auto immune which slowed my growth, currently in remission so I'm growing again. All but 2 people in my biological family are over 6 foot.
SO
I hit under 55kg today, BMI charts and 2 of my cal and weight trackers say I'm underweight but MFP disagrees. It's thrown me. Am I so stupid I cant calculate my BMI or is the app broken? Am I using fatlogic if I think its the app, not me? I felt so happy to see the number on the scale today but now I feel like a delusional failure.
[Rant/Rave] I think I'm about to delete reddit. I'm a fragile little snowflake and idk where this came from or why but it hurt my already spiraling self esteem. Figured you all would understand. My self image is already bad enough without help.
/u/nickgalentine
Created: Tue Oct 16 05:29:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omqgp/i_think_im_about_to_delete_reddit_im_a_fragile/
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https://i.redd.it/2jvzkpwe9js11.jpg
[Discussion] Ups and Downs anyone?
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Tue Oct 16 05:00:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omjmm/ups_and_downs_anyone/
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I thought it might be nice to take a minute and share our ups and downs from the week. You can vent any mini-brag/rant you have on your mind. I'll go first:
Up: Today marks 16 days of perfect restriction. No binges, no slip-ups:)
Down: Haven't pooped in a week so I can't weigh myself and track my progress: (
Your turn~
Being called fat by another girl on Tinder...
/u/liveinthemeoww
Created: Tue Oct 16 05:00:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omjls/being_called_fat_by_another_girl_on_tinder/
---
or rather 'you look gross (*puke emoji*)'.
Is it bad I'm actually using this as an excuse to rationalize not eating solids for a few days?
It's really affected me. Yes I'm over healthy weight, what they don't know is I almost killed myself with Anorexia the first time around. Now I have heart issues and other health problems and I'm still restricting like mad when I shouldn't be because I want out of this fat suit.
I've never had a complete stranger comment on my weight and it's painful - everyone sees me like that!!!!???
It makes me feel kind of sick (lol) that we live in a society where our looks are more important than our worth as humans...
[Rant/Rave] Welp, there's good news and bad news
/u/askinnykitten [5'2 | 110 | F <3]
Created: Tue Oct 16 04:56:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omind/welp_theres_good_news_and_bad_news/
---
I just violently threw up bile while my father held my hair in the dead of night, so i guess i have to go to the doctor in the morning. But on the bright side, my waist is officially 26" even when bloated, and now i can't fuck it up, cause i can't eat.
PS, if anyone has any tips on getting everything to stop smelling like vomit, i'd be forever grateful.
Feel like people are mocking me when they call me skinny
/u/Hiiir
Created: Tue Oct 16 04:56:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omims/feel_like_people_are_mocking_me_when_they_call_me/
---
Anyone else?
In the past few weeks I have had several people mention my "small size" in passing. For example I am complaining about being cold while everyone else around me is warm and they will say "well it makes sense you have no fat cushioning hehe". Every time someone says something like that I just feel like they're mocking me, like I'm not sure if I can take them seriously or not? Like it's not even BDD talking, I seriously am just an average weight, not underweight at all - and I know this for a fact because my bmi is 19 point something. I don't look skinnier than people around me so they must be joking at me, right? But atst I am also not overweight so where's the joke...? I could imagine making this joke to my bf who is over 200 pounds - he says he's cold and I say "haha lol it's not like you have any fat cushioning". But with someone in the normal weight range it's not very funny as a joke and also not a very true statement either. Confusing.
[Discussion] DAE take photos of themselves where/when they look incredibly skinny and them obsess over them?
/u/elena1099
Created: Tue Oct 16 04:39:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9omerw/dae_take_photos_of_themselves_wherewhen_they_look/
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i’ll take photos of myself so often, it’s pretty much an unhealthy obsession and I have them all stored in my “my eyes only” section from snapchat memories lol. I probably go back and look at pictures of myself where I look incredibly skinny every hour as like motivation I guess?
anyone else the same?
[Discussion] How does everyone feel about reverse thinspo? (Please delete if not allowed)
/u/gothicapples
Created: Tue Oct 16 02:24:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9olnb1/how_does_everyone_feel_about_reverse_thinspo/
---
PSA this is not intended to put anyone down and please don’t leave hate comments
So I personally love looking at reverse thinspo I spend a lot of time reading r/fatlogic / kiwi farms I also have an album on my phone of obese people to look at when I am out of the house and hungry
I watch a few YouTuber who claim to be on weight loss journeys but have done nothing but gain hundreds of pounds
I just can’t stop watching please tell me I’m not the only one
Again this is absolutely not meant to offend anyone
[Rant/Rave] I think I’ve completely lost my mind
/u/randolphhenryash
Created: Tue Oct 16 02:23:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oln9t/i_think_ive_completely_lost_my_mind/
---
Hey guys, long time lurker first time poster. I’m worried I’ve completely gone over the edge and I don’t know what to do about it. For the last couple of months I’ve been eating essentially a snack once a day (like less than 200 cals), and then it became every two days, and then every three... and well, the last time I ate was on Friday (it’s Tuesday night now) and before that was about the same amount of time. Every time I do go to eat it feels like the most enormous struggle and it’s easier to just... not.
The worst part is that this wasn’t even intentionally a relapse (I’d been doing okay since early 2017) it just... kind of happened and now I have no idea how to get out of this cycle. Hell im not even sure if I want to get out of this cycle.
Has this happened to anyone else? And I know this is proED but anyone got any advice for keeping this in check?
[Discussion] [Discussion] DAE get body aches and sore joints from purging?
/u/sarakerosene [28F |H: 5'3" |CW: 145lbs |SW: 225lbs |UGW: 100 ]
Created: Tue Oct 16 00:26:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ol053/discussion_dae_get_body_aches_and_sore_joints/
---
Do you know why this happens? Is it the muscles contracting during the heaves that cause body aches? Electrolyte weirdness causing sore joints? I started restricting much more effectively because I HATE purging so much. It exhausts me and makes my body hurt and often gives me a headache. 😔
[Rant/Rave] I cant even convince myself to eat anymore.
/u/WashiiTape [🌻 Height: 5'4 | CW: 119 | BMI: 19.4 | Gender: F 🌻]
Created: Tue Oct 16 00:21:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okz8d/i_cant_even_convince_myself_to_eat_anymore/
---
This post is fucking dumb and im just being an overdramatic little shit but i really need to get it out so.
Im so tired of food. I'm tired of thinking about it and looking at it and consuming it and everything. I've been doing a week long ""fast"" (not technically a fast because i dont plan on fuckin starving to death but like ive been barely eating) but i dont even wanna do that anymore. Like, I've just learned to ignore my hunger to the point hearing my stomach growl is just annoying. eating is a hassle. i dont want to do it.
I guess if nothing else, i dont binge anymore. i dont ever want to. but god the fact that i have to eat to stay alive is so fucking annoying. I dont wanna die but i dont wanna eat either. its fucking exhausting.
[Discussion] Anyone else love the pain of being hungry?
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 94 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Tue Oct 16 00:09:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okwsp/anyone_else_love_the_pain_of_being_hungry/
---
I guess it's normal to like it when you're hungry, but does anyone else actually sort of relish the pain? It just makes me feel sort of...elated, in some weird way. Like I deserve this pain.
It's a good thing because it's making me healthier, and maybe I should suffer a little considering all the times I binge
Oh, Am I Too Skinny Now?
/u/CallMeFrida
Created: Tue Oct 16 00:05:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okvrv/oh_am_i_too_skinny_now/
---
They asked me why I lost so much weight, why I’m so skinny, why now, if I had already “gotten over” my eating disorder, if I was so happy at my current body weight where I looked fine.
Oh. I never got over my eating disorder. I never got over the desire to be waifish and tiny and delicate. That’s the kind of girl you all liked, right? That’s the girl you all fell in love with and prefer. I remember.
To my family: I lost the weight because you used to tell me I should lose it. Granted, that was many years ago, when I was a teenager, before you realized the damage you’d done, before that one day I screamed at you to never speak about my body again. Because ever since I was 10, you’ve told me to put the bread down or I will get fat. You made it clear that “fat” was a negative thing, otherwise you’d have let me eat and let me regulate my own eating and weight. If being fat was never a negative thing, then you wouldn’t have spent years giving me disgusted looks whenever I ate junk food or “fat” things. It’s too late, Mother. This is what you fucking wanted. You wanted a stick figure? You got a motherfucking stick figure. You let my brother call me fat for years. It doesn’t matter that it was a long time ago. It happened. It’s engrained in my being. I can’t get over that. My brother called me fat at the exact same weight you later decided, in my 20s, that I was “healthy”. Fuck that shit. You thought 57kg was fat and told me so? Why the fuck are you surprised that I took your word for it and decided 57kg was too fat, as well?
You know the only person who ever worried about what I was eating? My grandmother. Not even when I got too skinny the first time around did you ever look around at me. You looked at what I was eating and never said a word, even congratulated me for finally “taking care” of myself. My grandmother was the only one who noticed whenever I only had coffee for breakfast. Who told me I was too skinny and should stop losing weight. Who offered me ice cream constantly, to the point when now it’s actually annoying. Who looked at my plate and said, that’s a small piece of chicken. Oh, and vegetables. You sure you don’t want avocado, some rice, a tortilla? Do you want anything else for breakfast? Have you had dinner yet?
To my boyfriend: Oh, I’m too skinny? Cool. Here’s why. I thank you for never making comments about my body. For always telling me I was beautiful, regardless of what stage in weight loss or gain I was, for seemingly not noticing whenever I gained weight, not even commenting on it, for saying I was hot, for complimenting my body, always, without fail, anytime you saw me naked. I appreciate that. I needed that. Thank you. If you had ever suggested I had gained weight or could stand to lose a bit, I would have broken up with you on the spot. I was always ready to do so. So defensive. I had imagined the scenario many times, I was ready for it, I figured it was inevitable, and I made myself think of that scenario to be ready to break up with you with no feelings at all when that day arrived. And it never did. So I thank you. I respect and admire you for that, because you did seem to genuinely think so.
Here’s the thing. I know about the girls whose pictures you and your cousins, and you and your friends, and you and your biker friends, and you and your whatever the fuck else full males, swap in your WhatsApp groups. I know about the girls you follow on Instagram and like their pictures, even girls you previously hooked up with. I know the names of a shit ton of girls you’ve dated, because you made the mistake of telling me, and worse, actually letting it out that you were proud of yourself for having dated them, or hooked up, or fucked them, like they were trophies. Most of all, you bragged a little too much about the girls you dated who were models, about what kind of bodies they had. Who everyone wanted to date and fuck. You were proud of yourself.
You hide it now. It wasn’t until I exploded and told you to shut up about them that you actually did and have not mentioned them since. You haven’t shown me your Whatsapp groups. I believe you when you say you don’t follow or like those girls’ pictures anymore, I don’t even check if it’s true, but it doesn’t matter anyway.
They all had one thing in common. They were all tiny, delicate waifs; skinny, stick figure, little girls with tiny arms and big eyes and clavicles and sharp waists.
I don’t fucking forget. You made it clear you were attracted to these girls. You made it clear the important thing about them was their appearance (I never heard you brag about any other girl’s sense of humor or intellect. Oh no, you bragged about how you dated *models*), and their appearance was stick figure thin. It’s too late, and you can’t take back everything you’ve shown me, and said to me, everything you openly admired.
You wanted a stick figure? You got a fucking stick figure. Oh, are you sad because of my health? Fuck you. You did this to me. You want me this way. You like me better this size. You want to fuck me more. Oh, am I being unreasonable, and petty, and an asshole? You don’t fucking care because I’m tiny. I’m fucking beautiful. I could be my previous size and nice because I actually fucking ate human-being quantities, or I can be beautiful and tiny and an asshole because I consume what a pidgeon does a day. You fucking bet I’m in a bad mood. I’M HUNGRY. I’m weak and tired and exhausted because of the hunger. I did this for you, because this is what you prefer. This is what you fucking wanted. I’m exhausted from not eating. Of course I’m behaving like a fucking asshole. And it doesn’t matter that I’m an asshole.
Men just want pretty stick figures to fuck. So let’s fuck. We’ll both enjoy it. It’ll be amazing. Now I can compete with the other models you’ve fucked and think about when you jerk off. I’ll make you forget them. The only thing that attracts you is whether I’m skinny and beautiful. That’s what I am now. Everything else about me doesn’t matter. You, nor any other man, doesn’t give a shit about how intelligent I am. I’m fucking smart and it doesn’t matter. The things I write and have an opinion on don’t matter. It doesn’t matter whether I’m ambitious, or hard-working, or what my life accomplishments are. I’m just a doll for you to fuck, a doll to pop out babies with your last name attached to them. A beautiful fuck doll, who will eventually go back to being a nice mindless soft-spoken accessory.
This is how I survive in life as a woman. Everything else doesn’t matter. They just want you to be pretty and be chill. A Cool Girl, like Amy. She framed her husband for murder, you know.
Working 14hrs a day this week and I decided this morning I'm not eating or drinking anything but water, Pepsi Max and Monster Ultra until I lose another 5lbs. If I die, close my casket and tell them I was skinny
/u/graeciamagna
Created: Mon Oct 15 23:59:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okunb/working_14hrs_a_day_this_week_and_i_decided_this/
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[Help] The hunger got me. [Help flair]
/u/dorisbloodyholliday
Created: Mon Oct 15 23:47:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oks2t/the_hunger_got_me_help_flair/
---
Hey fam, old member, new account.
Hunger got to me today and I ate at maintenance (maybe a bit above) and now I'm laying in bed depressed and disappointed and my stomach slightly hurts.
Send good vibes for weigh-in tomorrow, please. RIP me.
On mobile and apparently I can't flair.
[Other] just ED things
/u/unimportantnull
Created: Mon Oct 15 23:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okpml/just_ed_things/
---
eating a cucumber on your bathroom floor at 10:34pm and crying about it
[Rant/Rave] My thinspo coworker called me “so tiny”
/u/famarino [5’3 | CW: 103| 18.3 | UGW: 90| F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 23:25:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oknk2/my_thinspo_coworker_called_me_so_tiny/
---
I mentioned calories to my super tall, slim coworker who has a body to kill for and is such thinspo for me and she was like “why would YOU ever have to worry about calories??? You’re so tiny!” I felt strangely untrusting of the compliment so I shrugged and said “...I don’t know man, I guess I’m getting there, but you’re so skinny, like that’s goals.” And I swear to god this girl never compliments anyone - she’s super down to earth and to-the-point about everything - but she looked me dead in the eye like I was crazy and said “nah girl, you’re super skinny, we both are. You ain’t got shit to worry about.” It made me feel pretty great about myself, ngl.
Sorry for the weird, vain rant, but that’s the first time anyone’s validated my recent 20 lb. weight loss and it feels good to have finally gone from people using terms like “normal sized” to describe my body to “super skinny”. I needed a morale booster this week.
[Discussion] DAE look at thinspo while they eat?
/u/bad-day-throwaway-
Created: Mon Oct 15 23:24:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oknbm/dae_look_at_thinspo_while_they_eat/
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“Wow, that girl is SO pretty. I wish I looked like that.” *shoves 2 more mini French toasts in my mouth*
It REALLY helps fuel my cycle of “I want to be skinny/I love food/I am so disgusting”
Is this normal?
/u/sorrywhatshappening
Created: Mon Oct 15 23:16:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oklkq/is_this_normal/
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Potential TMI warning lol..
So I was restricting for a week or so (~600 cals/day) then ended up binging (~2000+ cals/day) for three days straight. On the third day, which was yesterday, I realized I hadn't pooped for three days... is this normal? Is my body not really used to having that much food in me so it just holds onto everything?
I took an adderall for homework earlier today and had some coffee and have been shitting out what i'm assuming is nearly everything I ate the last three days.. i feel so much better
You guys...I didn’t eat my feelings!! [other]
/u/mynormalheart [5' 3" | CW: 155 | GW: 137 | UGW: 115| 25F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 23:02:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okign/you_guysi_didnt_eat_my_feelings_other/
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So I’ve been dealing with some serious soap opera level family drama the past couple of days. It’s been stressful as hell and I’ve been wanting to eat everything in sight.
But I haven’t! I’ve been trying to utilize ‘healthier’ coping strategies instead and so far I haven’t binged! I’m so proud you guys.
THEME SONG Y'ALL
/u/onerousboners
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:46:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okf01/theme_song_yall/
---
https://youtu.be/Gfw4yxn_kPQ
When your ED is in full swing
/u/killingtiimee
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:45:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okeps/when_your_ed_is_in_full_swing/
---
https://i.redd.it/0tuep3lc9hs11.jpg
What vitamins do you take when restricting?
/u/lanadeltacobell
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:42:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oke62/what_vitamins_do_you_take_when_restricting/
---
I've been maintaining all year by low key restricting at 1000 calories per day. I'm pretty sick of having to do all this work just to maintain, and I'm really ready to start getting into it again. What I want to avoid is hair loss, lethargy, brittle nails, getting sick, etc. I've got my own vitamin cocktail of a multivitamin gummy, calcium, vitamin E, biotin, glucosamine, fish oil, and zinc. Am I missing anything? What do you guys take?
Anyone else take pride in their tiny size? So much so that you feel you have a role to uphold or an expectation to meet?
/u/kawaiicrying
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okcv2/anyone_else_take_pride_in_their_tiny_size_so_much/
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It’s hard for me to describe, but I guess I take pride in the fact that I’m already a small person. I’m short and quite thin as it is, and because of that, much of my identity is built around being tiny. I feel like if I gain weight I’ll lose myself and my whole public identity. I keep binging and it terrifies me because if I keep this up I’ll gain like crazy, and I just don’t know how to stop.
[Rant/Rave] Pregnant and in recovery and it SUUUUCKS
/u/LumosMegan
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:35:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okclq/pregnant_and_in_recovery_and_it_suuuucks/
---
I am 9 weeks pregnant. Stopped bulimia behaviors once I found out and the only way to do that is to exist in a state of numbness. If I quash the panic and drive to lose weight (I had lost 16 lbs in 6 weeks right before pregnancy) then I also have to quash the “good” voices that are part of recovery. If I try to go into the whole “my worth is not based on my weight” crap, then in sneaks, “You are going to be a killer whale by the end of this pregnancy.”
I haven’t gained any weight but I’m just maintaining. I saw a video of myself that my husband took tonight and the panic and disgust flared up. Do I really look like that?? It’s not that bad in the mirror, but on film I was absolutely horrified. I kept thinking about how 17 year old 102 lb me would feel if she saw her future self and it ended with a 30 minute exercise session, which would be normal for me except that I have intense morning sickness and fatigue, and my body is screaming at me to rest.
I have a therapist. But I don’t know how to do this. I can’t end up enormous, you guys. I don’t even know how to handle it if I do.
Just a vent fueled by terror and panic and me desperately trying to wrestle Mia to the ground so she leaves me and my pregnancy alone. But she feels a lot stronger than me.
[Rant/Rave] I gained.
/u/EyeOfSisyphus [5'4 | CW 128.7 | -20.3 | F | GW 105]
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:30:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okb8a/i_gained/
---
I stopped restricting in late July because I passed out at school and my parents forced me to "recover". I feel like absolute fucking garbage.
I tried to at least maintain my fucking weight, but I just tried on pants that two months ago fit me just right, and now they fit me a bit tight.
It's probably like a 5 lbs gain but I'm so fucking mad I'm so fucking PISSED at myself and my parents.
I can't wait for finals week to end so I can go back to restricting. I want to cry so bad right now. I was so close to my GW1, I thought I could reach the 100's this year. I want to fucking kill myself. I want to die. I want to fucking die.
[Other] Ruined my workout
/u/sadveggiehead [5’5 |SW.156 |CW.137 |GW.120 |23.07 |F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:29:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9okb18/ruined_my_workout/
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I had a good hour long workout, ran a mile and all that even did some Pilates. Then afterwards I waked myself to the papa Johns and got a mini pizza. The whole thing was 700 cals why would I self sabotage like this?? I wish I had more self control :((( Thinking about going back to the gym in about an hour since the pizza will be digested. Need to run another mile or else that pizza will haunt my nightmares...
[Rant/Rave] the intersection between my gender, my sexuality, and my ED is killing me
/u/madcapmango
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:25:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oka46/the_intersection_between_my_gender_my_sexuality/
---
this is probably going to be rambly and graphic, and i apologize in advance.
i’m a trans guy, so there’s all the obvious bullshit where i am fundamentally uncomfortable with my sex characteristics and have to stab myself weekly to even have a chance at feeling okay about my appearance. on top of that, i have a fairly long-standing crush on a cis gay friend that is absolutely not going to go anywhere because not only am i generally a pathetic piece of shit with no redeeming qualities, i don’t think i‘m masculine enough for him to see me that way. lately i’ve been interacting with him more often and i keep binging out of stress/panic.
today was particularly shitty in that regard and then i went on grindr to torment myself and his profile popped up. (side note about that, he’s half a foot or so taller than me and weighs about the same as i probably do atm. lmao) for whatever reason that little thing sent me absolutely spiraling. i was crying, scratching the everloving hell out of my arms, and trying to purge into my trash can except it was too long after i had last eaten so i wasn’t really getting anything up. i don’t purge very often, so the fact that that was my instinct in the moment is really concerning. i distinctly remember thinking something to the effect of “i don’t care if any of this kills me.”
i know this all sounds really fucked up, but i literally have nobody irl i can talk to about it. i was overweight for so long that i’m extremely uncomfortable having in-depth conversations about food habits with people. that reason along with being trans makes me feel like some kind of disgusting, inhumane, predatory creature. it also worries me that this boy affects me to this extent anyway because i feel like it’s dehumanizing to him, and also because i feel like i’m overestimating how much i matter to him, if that makes sense.
i don’t even know. i feel like i’ll probably regret posting this, but i needed to vent about all of this without omitting important details.
[Help] am i losing my period?
/u/fatass_1 [5'0 | 112lbs | 21 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:24:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ok9yw/am_i_losing_my_period/
---
okay forgive the tmi & how dumb i sound rn but i only had one drop of blood yesterday and a bit more just a few minutes ago but nothing more. ive had the symptoms i usually have before my period since saturday. am i losing it or is it just being weird? i'm not even at a low bmi so i dont think i'm losing it but i dont know much tbh
how did you guys stop being addicted to food?
/u/peachsy
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:19:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ok8r5/how_did_you_guys_stop_being_addicted_to_food/
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right now im at my highest weight yet which i dont even know what it is because i cannot bring myself to step on a scale. my whole life i have used food to cope, to lean on and even in times of boredom i will eat. i am so disgusted with my fat body but for 2 years i have been trying to change and can just not stick to anything for longer than a week.
any advice? it also doesn’t help that my social circles activities revolve around eating and drinking...
“You’re a fatass”
/u/Lalaluc
Created: Mon Oct 15 22:08:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ok655/youre_a_fatass/
---
“You eat just like me and if it wasn’t for you working out, you’d look like me. So yeah, you’re a fatass”.
A coworker said this to me today. I feel terrible about myself. It’s worse cause what she said was true
[Rant/Rave] i know i’m not the only one, but fuck, i really don’t care about anything other than calories!!!
/u/duskedfur [5'7" | CW: 100 | 15.6 | UGW: 95 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:57:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ok3cu/i_know_im_not_the_only_one_but_fuck_i_really_dont/
---
“cut out carbs!” nope! don’t care about macros, just the calories.
“don’t eat junk food, just eat healthy!” nope! i don’t care where i get my calories, just the amount.
“do this exercise, not that one!” nope! don’t care about what exercise i do, just the amount of calories i’m burning.
“don’t drink diet drinks, just have water!” nope! i don’t care if it’s not real fasting. if the label says 0, i’m drinking it.
“artificial sweeteners are bad for you!” nope! don’t even care. you can take my splenda out of my cold, dead hands.
“eat more protein!” nope! “eat more fat!” nope! “eat less sugar!” nope!!! fuck you, don’t tell me how to lose weight the ‘correct’ way. i don’t care. it’s calories in, calories out, weight gone. i know how to lose weight, ive lost almost 40 lbs. if i cared about being healthy i wouldn’t have this disorder now would i?
Tooth pain, ftw?
/u/Tsuyu_irl
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:57:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ok3cr/tooth_pain_ftw/
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So I've got a cracked molar and no dental insurance. Excruciating pain aside, it helps me not eat. My mouth hurts like hell and the slightest pressure on the tooth makes me wanna die. So all i can have is soup/broth. Yay forced restricting! Just trying to look on the bright side. 😓😭
[Rant/Rave] Glue
/u/ManicPixieBallerina
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:50:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ok1ie/glue/
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The other day, I was thinking about how it's been a while since food tasted like glue. I enjoy cooking, adding spices and herbs, pondering bringing back the herb garden I love so much (just where to put it...) I've been doing really well, and I'm in a better place... most of the time.
But today was a bad day, and food is now glue. I have been staring at the first bit of "real food" I've eaten since I broke down sobbing in an IHOP parking lot (was it really this morning? It feels like that was much longer ago,) because I can't just get the fuck over things that not only happened ~10 years ago and there's nothing to do about it now. It's gotten cold. It's slimy. Goes down like oily glue. I remember the first time this happened. Alone in the cafeteria. 12 years old. Teacher supported isolation. My lunch was glue on glue on glue. I didn't finish it.
And I didn't finish "dinner" tonight either.
[Rant/Rave] A Moment of Silence for My Bowels
/u/AnaTroi [5'9" | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:44:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ok03i/a_moment_of_silence_for_my_bowels/
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I'm attempting to stop purging AND stop abusing magnesium at the same time. It's about to get extremely uncomfortable up in here.
Anyone got any tips? I'm drinking lots of water and tea...
[Rant/Rave] Summer vacation
/u/patbumbum [5'6 | PIG| UGW |94| F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:39:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojyr9/summer_vacation/
---
This summer we went to Miami it was the worst vacation ever. My sister kept saying, "remember when you were hot? I can't believe you used to shop in these boutiques? I went from a size 2 to size 16. In 6 years, due too depression, pregnancy and nursing school? We have 255 days to the next family vacation and I will show her I'm still that bitch.
None of my clothes fit.
/u/ButterflyThin [66" | 174 | 28.20 | -76 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojwfy/none_of_my_clothes_fit/
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I have orientation for my new job tomarrow and ONE outfit fits. I thought I had plenty of work cloths but all my skirts for work just fall off :( I'm happy but now was *not* the time.
i made an unlisted YouTube channel about my ED just for you guys <3
/u/lilpolymath [5'10" | CW 122.0 | BMI 17.07 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:22:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojuiz/i_made_an_unlisted_youtube_channel_about_my_ed/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsUsy5RUVKo&t=183s
[Help] Anxiety?
/u/existing--
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:21:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oju8m/anxiety/
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Lately I’ve been bingeing because I’m anxious and eating makes me feel better in the moment but I have gotten so fat and it just makes things worse because I hate myself.
Anyone else with anxiety? What do you do instead of bingeing? I’m going to try exercising but I have trouble finding the energy. I need something though because I can’t keep going on like his I am so heavy and so sad and it’s only made my anxiety worse
[Help] What are your go-tos?
/u/sailorskinny [5'3" | CW: 110 | 19.5 | HW: 172 | ]
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:17:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojted/what_are_your_gotos/
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I'm vegetarian and usually eat broth with vegetables, Skinny Pop, veggie chips with salsa, Cliff bars, Powerade Zero, and Coke Zero Sugar. I was just wondering what are your go-to safe foods and if anyone has any low-cal sweets suggestions that aren't Halo Top/So Delicious/frozen treats!!
considering a lot of things...
/u/planetskinny
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:05:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojq8e/considering_a_lot_of_things/
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if you read my other post, i think i’ve finally lost my period and i’m really scared. i guess it’s my first Health Scare? but yeah, anyway!!! onto the Actual Content of this post!!!
i’m considering...
• upping my calorie intake to 1500 (from 1000)
• recovering??? (probably not, i always fail miserably)
• deleting my tumblr account and staying on here. as a community, you’re all much nicer.
• telling my therapist about my eating problems???
• possibly telling my mom???
[Rant/Rave] Medicine is lovely sometimes..
/u/sailorskinny
Created: Mon Oct 15 21:02:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojphc/medicine_is_lovely_sometimes/
---
I've been taking Wellbutrin since 2013 as an antidepressant and honestly owe it to that little white pill for losing my first 30 pounds after it curbed my appetite so hard. Unfortunately though in July I felt like it had run its course for me and met with my psychiatrist about potential new medicines. Since the summer I've been on three different medications each month trying to find something that works and I was prescribed Effexor. So, for two weeks I was taking that with my Wellbutrin and my appetite dropped dead. I lost so much weight in such a little amount of time and reached my goal of 110 thanks to that! I am eating OMAD now but I know that if I keep this up my ugw of 100 will be here in no time. I've always been pro-meds if the individual chooses to try them for their depression and anxiety but never knew it would fuel my weight loss like this.
I'm having one of those days
/u/kalianda [5'4" | CW 129 | GW 115 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 20:47:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojlkj/im_having_one_of_those_days/
---
when I feel like I could eat 10x what I had planned but I still wouldn't feel like it's enough. anyone else in the same boat?
the worst part is that my 190lb boyfriend ate the same amount as me so far today and he looks totally nonchalant, like it was enough for him, and he wants to "focus" on his test instead of eating dinner yet, and it's way past dinner time at 10:45pm. 😹
I swear.
I feel like a cat meowing for food 😢
[Rant/Rave] I don’t know what came over me
/u/med_z [5'2ft | cw:115lbs|gw:84lbs|nb lesbian]
Created: Mon Oct 15 20:12:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojbv6/i_dont_know_what_came_over_me/
---
I got home after work and took 24 dulcolaxs bc I was upset bc my grandma got mad at me and my uncle was in my room and I hate ppl being in my room plus I had to eat at work and when I called my mom to tell her I was sad without going out of my room bc I was crying she didn’t get up until she heard me crying so I got mad at her and locked my door she found the key and came in and by then I’d stopped crying but didn’t want to let her see it so I started laughing and she kept asking me why I was crying so I told her to get out bc if she care she should’ve came when I needed her ik this is really long and all over the place but I think I might take some more laxatives and go binge then purge in the shower and pray I don’t shit myself at school tomorrow
What has been the most effective weight loss strategy for you?
/u/qxmemie
Created: Mon Oct 15 20:07:20 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ojak1/what_has_been_the_most_effective_weight_loss/
---
Like fasting for a certain number of hours or any special diets, etc..?
That moment when your ex triggers tf outta you!
/u/thnwhtln
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:53:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oj6s5/that_moment_when_your_ex_triggers_tf_outta_you/
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Haven’t eaten since Saturday night. It’s cold as fuck so I decide to make some black beans and barely sit down to eat. My ex texts me she’s coming to town this weekend to visit her family. and then mentions that she has to make a 4 hr drive when she leaves. Guess how long it takes to drive from my town to the city where the bitch she cheated on me lives (the one with a “smokin hot body”) 4 hours! Like I know she only said it to passively get to me and I didn’t react. But it really triggered me hard so I’m like welp guess it’s time to starve for a couple more days fuck my life.
I've only been here for like a week, but I'm leaving!
/u/juulorexia [20f | vegan | 5'2" | goal bmi: 14]
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:50:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oj62g/ive_only_been_here_for_like_a_week_but_im_leaving/
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I'm tired of this cycle of starving myself and binging and always feeling like shit. I am a busy woman with big plans for my future and I refuse to spend any more time obsessed with what I eat. Big talk coming from me and I know recovery's not going to be as easy as posting this Reddit thread is, but I'm fucking 20, I'm done risking my health and my future for this nonsense. Over it!
Good luck y'all, you're all cool and funny people and I hope you can all recover safely. You're all much cooler than MPA ever was.
[Help] Birth control weight gain?
/u/bbdoc826
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:47:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oj51r/birth_control_weight_gain/
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Although insecure about my body and not sure about exposing it to anyone. I a seeing someone and want to start birth control to be prepared for when I get the courage to sleep with him. Anybody have advice on birth control that worked well for them without any weight gain?
[Tip] "Eat like a normal person" still lose weight
/u/lowfatavocado [5'6.5'' | cw117 | bmi18.6 | gw 110 | F23]
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:35:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oj1x3/eat_like_a_normal_person_still_lose_weight/
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I like food. I also am very afraid of it. So I have a list of safe foods that I ALWAYS have to have on me. I eat them religiously daily. I seem like a normal person because I eat so frequently. But my little dudes, I'm at a deficit everyday. I aim to stay below 600 but I range from 500-750. Ok here we go. Now I think this may gross some people out and I'm
Sorry!! I'm just trying to spread some positivity!
Ok here it is:
Shiritaki noodles (at least 5 bags on deck 20 cals for one bag. Sometimes you can find them for 0 cals!)
G hueghes sugar free ketchup (this is a big one, I use it for many things. IT ONLY HAS 5 CALS PER TBSP. It is so addicting to me. I use it as a tomato sauce for the noodles. I use 1/4 cup 20 cals. I dip a lot of veggies in it)
Cucumbers (like 5 on deck at all times. I will eat an entire cucumber in one sitting dip it in the special ketchup. Like to cut them up like chips and munch on em)
Pb2 -a protein staple. I usually do 4 tbsp with a bit of stevia and add some water and it's so nice and creamy and satisfies my sweet tooth
STEVIA
Turk'y patties by Bocca- 70 cals
Mustard
arctic zero! (Ice cream) 35 cals per serving 150 in one pint
Walden farms chocolate syrup and caramel syrup for my ice cream and sometime sprinkle it over strawberries-0 cal
Sara Lee bread -45 cals per slice
Spinach
Strawberries
Green apples
Tea coffee tea coffee
Plain oatmeal- I add a tbsp or 2 of fresh chopped apples, stevia , cinnamon and NUTMEG nutmeg makes alllll the difference
Puffed wheat cereal -50 cals for 1.2 cups.
Cashew almond milk- 25 cal for 1 cup and SO CREAMY I DONT UNDERSTAND. I'll add a pinch of stevia in here at night if I'm craving something sweet and creamy
Hmmmm
I think this is all folks. I love you all. I don't want anyone to hurt themselves. This is what I've found to be helpful. It's a way where I'm still eating but not totally dying as well. I do love my life. I think life is beyond beautiful. I don't want to die. I just want to be a tiny feather.
What are some of your staples?
[Other] any other tall people struggling?
/u/put_thelotion
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:31:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oj0mz/any_other_tall_people_struggling/
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like the title says. any other tall people here who struggle with the fact that no matter how much weight you lose, how many inches you shed, you'll never be considered 'tiny' or 'dainty'? like yeah whatever 'model looks!!!1!" but you only look like a model if you have the right frame in addition to being skinny and gorgeous, whereas any skinny short person is almost automatically considered tiny and dainty.
idk I was just thinking about this today because I realized that while 110-115 is starting to get into fairly low BMI territory for me, its like 19-20 for one of my friends.
I'm just mad that no matter how low I get, I can never be considered dainty, or cute, or small
[Help] I didn’t know I had a virus and took bronkaid and drank 3 cups of coffee((:
/u/wispybubble [5’10 | 16F | 153 | 21.4 | -27]
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:30:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oj0c1/i_didnt_know_i_had_a_virus_and_took_bronkaid_and/
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Now I can’t smell food without gagging and so from the coffee i am literally dry heaving with my ass. And i’m exhausted from being sick but too jittery to sleep.
On the bright side, I have a new lowest weight!
[Help] Water Retention/swelling?
/u/_Pulltab_ [5'7"| CW 158.6| 24.8| F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:26:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oizad/water_retentionswelling/
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Does anyone have experience with retention/swelling in the legs and ankles when heavily restricting? I’ve started noticing that my ankles are swelling (I have marks from my socks) and my physical therapist noticed it too. I have been heavily restricting for several months now with very occasional maintenance days (maybe 1-2 days a month). I am vegetarian and primarily eat keto. I don’t eat a lot of salty stuff and my sodium is generally average to low.
I’m currently taking antibiotics for a UtI but I don’t think that’s doing it. My recent lab work came back slightly off but not enough for the doc to do anything about it.
[Rant/Rave] Close to an Anger Binge
/u/nymphlotus [64in | 157 | 26.9 | -23lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 15 19:26:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiz5i/close_to_an_anger_binge/
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I've been trying to restrict again. I started restricting last week but I always allow myself to eat "freely" (basically maintenance) a couple days a week. I was going down and then I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm back up after eating normally on Friday and Saturday.
I'm really tempted to weigh myself again. It's a terrible idea because I KNOW I'll be more because it's later in the day but I'm so angry and I feel so discouraged and it makes me want to just sabotage it all. If I got back on the scale and it was lower I'd feel motivated to keep going.
[Discussion] Extreme guilt over spending money on binges?
/u/smittenkitt3n [Height: 5’4 | CW: ew lol| BMI: fat as fuck]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:58:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oirmt/extreme_guilt_over_spending_money_on_binges/
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I eat when I’m sad, and I reallllyyy want to order McDonald’s rn, but I know I’m just gonna feel guilty after for spending money, especially when i don’t feel like i deserve it because i wasn’t productive today
anyone else feel similar to this? i spend way too much time trying to decide whether i should buy food 😭
Amenorrhea/Period Loss Question (tw: recovery, menstruation, medical procedures)
/u/kylorendeer
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:56:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiqy1/amenorrheaperiod_loss_question_tw_recovery/
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The last time I had a period was February 2017. That was the month I started restricting at all— I lost my period immediately, despite the fact I was actually overweight at the time. I’ve never been clinically underweight and, even now at my low weight, I’m only at the lower end of a “healthy” BMI. While I still fast from time to time, I mostly eat “normally” at this point. Nevertheless, my period is nowhere to be found. Appointments with gynecologists have yielded nothing. All my hormones are in order and, for all intents and purposes, I should be menstruating. I’m just not.
I wanted to ask if anyone had any experience with something like this and could suggest a solution. My doctors are warning me that, by not having a period and refusing birth control (it makes me emotionally unstable), I’m running a high risk of ovarian or cervical cancer. So getting my period back ASAP is important, especially since my attempt to get an IUD ended with discovering my uterus is too small to accommodate any FDA approved IUDs. It is literally my only option to evade serious medical repercussions.
Do you think it’s possible that the period loss is not ED related? Could it really be just a coincidence that I lost it the same month I started restricting? I’m at my wit’s end and very worried.
[Help] what are some positive things about gaining weight?
/u/motivation-cat
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:52:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oipss/what_are_some_positive_things_about_gaining_weight/
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hi. i’m trying really hard to stick with recovery even with the visible weight gain. i’m trying to come up with good things about weight gain, or at least bad things about relapsing. i’d really love some suggestions!
so far i have: gaining weight helps me become stronger. it’ll help me grow to my full potential since i won’t be starved anymore (i’m still a teen). gaining weight will lead to me being less cold all the time. relapsing will mean i’ll waste away the rest of my teens being fixated on food.
sorry if this is uncomfortable for those not yet in recovery, esp on an ed forum, but i don’t know where else to go. i’m sorry.
thanks in advance! :)
[Help] Experiences changing to being Vegan?
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:51:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oipjj/experiences_changing_to_being_vegan/
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Anyone here have their stories of turning vegan? I know there are a lot of options out there, but considering I have b/p tendencies, it’s hard to not feel compulsion.
Genuinely I feel disgust and anger for the way the animals are slaughtered and treated poorly, the emissions and hazards on our ecosystem, etc, but yes there is an element of ED in my end for it.
I hate excess carbs and sugar, though, so I also have to stay away from foods like bread and pasta.
What yall do?
[Help] I Just bought my first Monster Zero (white) because of this sub...
/u/juulorexia [20f | vegan | 5'2" | goal bmi: 14]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:49:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oip4d/i_just_bought_my_first_monster_zero_white_because/
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And I'm fucking terrified to drink it. I've never had Monster before, I tried Rockstar once and it made me want to kill myself.
Anyone got any words of encouragement? What am I in for?
[Help] Struggling with cold foods in the winter?
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:45:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiny9/struggling_with_cold_foods_in_the_winter/
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This happens to me every damn year.
I restrict through summer and survive on fruit, protein drinks, and low-cal ice cream. Then fall hits and I'm grumpy af because the cold food just isn't doing it for me. I suddenly crave bread and popcorn and all the bad carby warm foods. Help?
I can't believe I just discovered c/sing omg
/u/hanabira [5"1 🌼 120 🌼 100 🌼 23F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:36:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oilbv/i_cant_believe_i_just_discovered_csing_omg/
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I feel like a new wormhole of possibilities just opened up for me.
I work at an elementary school, and we are sometimes allowed their leftover lunch food (very illegal, btw, but they throw the leftover food away anyways and portion controlled carrots are gr8). Today they had ham sandwiches, and being the fat fuck I am, I really, really wanted one. With no impulse control, I take one and even go ahead and toast it in the little toaster oven we have in the staff lounge.
Usually, I can find calories for our school food on our nutritional website, but they did a revamp of the website design over the summer and I literally couldn't find it anywhere, and I tried for a solid half an hour. After being frustrated but not wanting to A) not eat the sandwich because I had already gone through the effort and B) not purge at work because that's always a walk of shame, I proceeded to hide out in my classroom since it's after school anyways, lock my door, and chew/spit the entire little sandwich into my trash can.
Not the proudest thing I've ever done, it's gross as hell, but damn, it scratches the desire to eat without actually eating.
I do judge people. And I know that my judgment is warped. And I feel like a jerk over it.
/u/drusillaclack
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:35:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oil62/i_do_judge_people_and_i_know_that_my_judgment_is/
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I see a lot of posts/comments, all over the internet, by those from disordered eating that go something like this:
*My feelings about my body only apply to my body. I don't think that anyone else needs to have an <18 BMI. I see people in normal weight ranges and think they look great--but when I am in it, I think I look terrible. I don't apply my own outlook on my body to other people, ever. This is just a problem I have with my body.*
This makes sense: we're supposed to have a warped understanding of our own bodies, unable to see them properly. But it doesn't have to apply to other people. It makes sense we would only be paying attention to our own bodies... or, if we ARE paying attention to other people's, it's when we're looking at thinspo and admiring them and setting our own goals by them.
And I think it's stellar. I think it's great for people who are able to approach this situation and just keep it to themselves and not throw it out onto the world they're in. I think it's....really, I think it's nice of them.
But... that's not me. See, I DO apply this shit to other people. I DO look at other girls, that I understand LOGICALLY look great to most people, and think that they would look much better if they lost some weight. I have literally looked at girls at school, evaluated them, came up with an eating plan and a timeline, and thought, "Yep, if she did this, she'd be great."
And I feel incredibly MEAN for having these thoughts, because how dare I sit here and mentally project this shit on other people who are totally happy--or even worse, are NOT totally happy, and also want to lose weight, and here I am, confirming it in my head like an asshole. Even though I never voice it, obviously, I sit there and I think it and I feel so, so bad for it.
I wish I could keep my own fucked up-ness to myself, locked on my own body and no one else's.
[Other] Heard this song and thought some of you might relate...
/u/catalystrose [5'2 | 111 | BMI 21ish | GW 100 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:35:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oil1o/heard_this_song_and_thought_some_of_you_might/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyLMTgR_fuc
DAE eat like... super fast?
/u/skeletonsofawhale
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:29:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiji9/dae_eat_like_super_fast/
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So I know that most anorexics tend to eat super slowly and gracefully, but me? can't relate.
I'm a former(?) low restrictor that is currently high restricting (aiming for 600-900) for the time being due to the fact that low restricting has recently culminated in an entire week-long binge and... I eat super quickly now? I mean when I was low restricting I ate moderately quickly, but post-binge week I literally eat almost as fast as like... \[Matt Stonie.\]([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta1mnjV9Arg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta1mnjV9Arg)) It feels like I'm still binging even tho I have a lot more self control this week and I'm still under my cal limit for today.
I had 3 cups worth of a super low cal soup and I downed it all within 30 seconds FLAT, plus about a cup of risotto (not a safe food AT ALL, but my mom made it for me and I figured if my limits are higher this week, I might as well try it) which I downed in under 20 seconds. Anyone else like this?
[Help] Question about an issue within the community
/u/neverendingtasklist
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:29:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oijhc/question_about_an_issue_within_the_community/
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Hi everyone. I hope it's ok to post this here. I'm writing a research paper about online eating disorder communities and problems they face. One that has come up is sexual predators. These usually come in two forms, those that lie about about their age as a manipulation tactic and those that dont (use other methods.) I'm curious if anyone has any posts they know of on here or another site discussing an instance where someone lied about their age to gain the trust of a member of this community?
I'd appreciate any help, again I hope I'm not breaking any rules. If I need to submit proof to the admins about this paper I'm happy to.
Thanks a million!
i fit perfectly into size 7 skinny jeans :)))
/u/fatass_1 [5'0 | 112lbs | 21 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:27:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oij1u/i_fit_perfectly_into_size_7_skinny_jeans/
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this is it guys, this is where i just fucking end myself i knew size 3 wasnt right. fuck my life lol i really let myself go
[Rant/Rave] The worse my disordered eating gets the less I care about looks.
/u/Perfect_Difficulty [F5'6.5"|175 to140 | GW 125]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:27:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiiu3/the_worse_my_disordered_eating_gets_the_less_i/
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I don't think I have really terrible dysmorphia basically. I've spent so much time being overweight that I didn't realise that that wasn't what this was about because like when I looked in the mirror and thought "I'm fat" it was because I was. But the self loathing was less from how I looked (kinda cute honestly except my skin picking scars) and more what that showed (disgusting uncontrolled eating, weakness, idk).
I'm not totally happy with my body (I have so much stomach fat I think it's genetic from my grandma who's tiny and has it) and that's why I have my goal weight. But when that's what motivates my restriction, it's more ambitiousness and not stressful. Like "I want to get to my gw by December but I have to be a little strict for it. play it a little risky health-wise lol." When I don't meet my calories, I just get disappointed but not insanely upset.
​
And ok which comes to today and also my most recent b/p episode a few weeks ago. This time I found out I failed an exam and I've decided to stay <500 cals all week as a kind of punishment or way of proving myself i don't know. I feel like if I eat I'll be more of a failure. But we were altering some dresses tonight and when I saw myself in the mirror I felt so beautiful? Not perfect obviously but wow who is she
​
Idk I have a bigass memeboy mouth n my friends already know that my meal plan for tomorrow is just 3 protein bars n it's like but don't get me wrong this is not the kinda crazy you think it is. (((I have a whole other rant about how I keep blurting out ED stuff tbh like BITCH SHUT UP! but on the other hand why is this more awkward than whining about my depression/anxiety lol (we know why it's because I lost weight in a healthy way and everyone is gonna think its bc of the ED that they didn't give a shit about when I was fat))))
​
anyway anyone else just hate themselves as a human being n stop eating as a form of self harm lol? the worst part is when I binge after because it's like wow you really don't have the resolve for anything huh shoulda just cut yourself or something bitch
​
[Other] stfu grubhub, you don’t know my life
/u/crazy-mcgee [5’5” | 140 | 23.3 | who even knows anymore| F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:26:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiirp/stfu_grubhub_you_dont_know_my_life/
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https://i.redd.it/5t7o3fe9zfs11.jpg
Small Victory: I exercised away my binge instead of purging!
/u/Redrrosa
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:25:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiihm/small_victory_i_exercised_away_my_binge_instead/
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And it totally sucked! I hate exercise! But I'm really freaking proud. I haven't not purged following a binge in... years? Here's to harm reduction!
​
Post your small victories here!
[Discussion] Missing your lw
/u/GryffGryff
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:20:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oigzr/missing_your_lw/
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I stumbled across Danny gets fit's videos and realized that he gained a lot of weight. It made me realise how drastically different people look when they lose or gain.
It reminds me of my lw and how small my legs and arms and face was. I'm 20 pounds away from being at that lw again it gives me insane motivation.
Does anyone else have legit feelings of 'missing you' at their lowest weight? Lmao
[Help] i feel like my scale is lying??
/u/poppybasket [5’10 | cw129 (18.6) gw 115 | 17F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:17:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oig3j/i_feel_like_my_scale_is_lying/
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i’ve lost 3lbs in 3 days w an avg of 570cal/day and i’m suspicious :(
i can’t see a real difference between my sw and now except a slightly flatter stomach, but after having lost like 16 lbs, shouldn’t i be seeing a real difference?
i’ve weighed on two different scales at the same whole number with a 0.2lb variance each time and i just.. idk i don’t see how i could’ve actually lost that weight and still not be able to see, like will i ever make progress??
i guess it could just be bd but i feel fatter than ever :—(
So I just unsubscribed...
/u/rachelnessxo
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:16:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiful/so_i_just_unsubscribed/
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But I want to tell you all that recovery is possible. I still have ED thoughts every day, but I work to be healthy. I was just like you. Used pro-ED forums. Had people push me into near-death.
And I promise you, you will never be happy, even when you hit your “goal weight”. Your mind is distorted and even at your goal, you will just want more. It’s a trap.
I think and pray for all of you. It took me years to discover I could make it out, but I hope you all will make it out too.
I have never been so interested in Chemistry!
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:14:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oif9y/i_have_never_been_so_interested_in_chemistry/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuIlsN32WaE
The mathematics of weight loss | Ruben Meerman | TEDxQUT (edited version)
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:13:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiexa/the_mathematics_of_weight_loss_ruben_meerman/
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I have never been so interested in chemistry!!!
One hour to go until I’ve completed my first ever 24 hour fast!!
/u/sexqueenofficial
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:12:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oieqz/one_hour_to_go_until_ive_completed_my_first_ever/
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One more hour!!! And I’ve done it!!
Breakfast today was laxative tea and dinner was a cig. I laughed when I thought of that
But one more hour and I did it!!! I feel proud of this but also very ashamed lol classic ed :/ but it wasn’t as difficult as I thought! I’m going to try to continue until tomorrow and then go to a buffet as a reward lmaoooooooooooooooooooooo
Sorry if this is fucked I’m on mobile but just wanted to share!!
Now to go look at an apartment with my SO and hope my stomach grumbles aren’t too loud!
[Other] A hole tells me I eat too much
/u/ArkhamBrothers [5’1 👻 CW:118 👻 GW:90 👻 F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 18:10:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oie3g/a_hole_tells_me_i_eat_too_much/
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So I’m at a family gathering at my boyfriends grandmas house with a TON of family. I don’t eat but one plate then get a small brownie. Then i go to get one more because theres 2 different kinds. Well, he LOUDLY says “DANG! You gonna save some for the rest of us?!” Everyone LAUGHED. I was facing the wall, everyone was behind me.
So like a regular person I just FROZE. I had it in my hand and threw it away. Then went to the bathroom and purged every last bit of it until I was dizzy. It’s extremely loud so no one heard me and though my throat burns, I feel better. I needed to be kept on track and embarrassment is definitely one way to do it. I’m so embarrassed and disgusting....I’m so upset. I haven’t purged in about 2 months and I don’t know how to feel right now..
I hate all my options
/u/lilmdjd [5’3 | CW: 130 | BMI: 23 | LW: 94| - 17| 23F ]
Created: Mon Oct 15 17:58:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oiatv/i_hate_all_my_options/
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For the last few days I’ve been eating maintenance. Not even on purpose. I plan on restricting and then I just end up.... eating. And I started eating carbs again. And my hunger is INSATIABLE. It’s like a switch has flipped. I’m staying between 1300-1600 (1600 is maintenance for me) and still exercising so I know I probably won’t gain. But fuck. I WANNA RESTRICT AGAIN.
The thing is, I feel like I have two options: I embrace the hunger and the eating and try to “recover”. I know objectively my body is at the very least ok. But the problem with this option is that I don’t trust myself to not just start binging and gain in the long run. What if this hunger never eases?
Option b is forcing myself back into restriction. With enough planning I could do it I think. I have done it before. What’s the point of eating if I’m still hungry after?
I just... fuck. I’m hungry. I’m so sick of being hungry. I’m so sick of this being my whole life. I want out. I want everything to be easy and normal. I want to exercise for fun and health. I want balance. But the fact is that every time I try I fail.
[Goal] Eating like a normal person, but feeling suuuuper fat
/u/NeutralSmithHotel [6'1.4 | CW: 184 | BMI: 24.3| HW: 370| M]
Created: Mon Oct 15 17:53:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oi9e3/eating_like_a_normal_person_but_feeling_suuuuper/
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So I've been doing recovery... and honestly now that I've stopped restricting, I really don't think about food and I can even have binge foods around and not binge. Those are wins.
So far my weight has not gone up much, but I'm terrified of it going up and my ED has been making my life miserable. It's screaming at me for being weak and also further distorting my image in the mirror. Honestly I look like 250 lbs in the mirror right now. I've been trying to laugh it off, but I'm struggling. Posting this as a public commitment to at least stick with this for another week.
[Other] Literally my fridge 24/7 now that I live alone (remove if this isnt allowed lol)
/u/failingcollege101
Created: Mon Oct 15 17:38:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oi593/literally_my_fridge_247_now_that_i_live_alone/
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https://i.redd.it/v4zmydyoqfs11.jpg
Judgy af ED sub
/u/watchmedisapr
Created: Mon Oct 15 17:38:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oi54e/judgy_af_ed_sub/
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I posted this morning in r/bingeeatingdisorder about something funny my husband said about my intent to purge after two extended fasts and a binge. Instead of people thinking his comment was funny, I got lit into for fasting and told how bad it was for me. I was like, yeah of course it is, so was the binge and the subsequent purge, that's not the point of my post. Like, we're all here because we have a disorder, let's not pick on someone or on a particular manifestation of it...
I ended up deleting the post and my comments because I was getting so much hate. WTF?
[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend triggered me
/u/lovleybones_
Created: Mon Oct 15 17:26:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oi1xv/my_boyfriend_triggered_me/
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The other day we were looking on Pinterest at wedding cakes. For the future. We aren’t engaged or anything yet. And I found this HUGE cake and showed him and he said “you don’t need that much cake”
And the voice in my head has convinced me that he means I don’t need sweets. Or cake. I know I’m stretching here but... it felt like a jab. I am bigger. His ex is super tiny. And he has brought that up more times that I’d like to admit.
I feel gross even talking negatively about him because he really is wonderful. I’ve never said anything bad about him before (until now..)
But I binged after he told me that. And now I’ve been fighting food the last few days and feel myself spiraling.
[Rant/Rave] I don’t know what to do about my mum
/u/hollyy___ [5’08” | CW: 132lbs | BMI: 20.07 | WL: 23lbs | GW: 117lbs | 17F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 17:14:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohy9g/i_dont_know_what_to_do_about_my_mum/
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For about 3 nights in a row now my mum has had a “serious conversation” with me about my weight. I hate it so much (not anything against her I know she’s doing it out of love). She says I look scrawny and ill, that she doesn’t want to “watch me get tinier and tinier” etc etc. I really don’t understand how that’s possible, I haven’t lost a huge amount of weight, it hasn’t been in a super short amount of time and most importantly I’m not even close to underweight?? Even if I have my height wrong (which I don’t think I do) I would literally have to be 6ft tall to be underweight and that’s obviously impossible. Like I know I probably have a warped view of my body or something but come on lol. Anyways she also keeps saying that she knows I’m not eating enough to sustain myself and I need to eat more and gain quite a bit of weight. Tonight she also brought up my cousin’s ED during our talk and said “you better not have a problem with eating like that because I just can’t be dealing with that stress”. So now i’m in this weird place where I feel really guilty and awful if I don’t eat because of how it’ll affect her but also I feel really guilty and awful if I do eat because of my brain. It also really sucks because I was hoping I’d get way closer to my GW without that much suspicion and idk how I’m gonna get there at all now. Also she keeps threatening to take me to a doctor and the thought of that scares me.
[Rant/Rave] Omg fuck sodium
/u/BigFrameSkinnyAddict
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:57:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohtdq/omg_fuck_sodium/
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So I wasnt gonna have dinner but my mom bought me mustard potato salad... Its not even that good but I just couldn't resist!!!!! I ate a small bowl of it and some pickles.... And now my stomach is fucking huge and my head hurts lile hell. Ugh gonna fix this shit tomorrow
[Rant/Rave] all of the ads i get trigger me
/u/fatass_1 [5'0 | 111lbs | 21 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:56:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oht66/all_of_the_ads_i_get_trigger_me/
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i swear they're just trying to fuck with me because i literally CANNOT go to any site with ads without seeing weight loss ads, clothing ads or food ads. ive been feeling hella bad recently and god these ads arent helping. i'm not asking for no ads or just banning those types of ads but damn, man. i hate using the word trigger unironically but god i just dont think theres a better word for it. sorry this post is whiny, just gotta get it off my chest.
One divergence from diet sets me off the rails
/u/Woodschris
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:38:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohnpy/one_divergence_from_diet_sets_me_off_the_rails/
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So I eat the same thing every day. It works really well for me. However, when I eat one thing different I go far off of my diet. For example my roommate's mum brought pumpkin cake last week...I had one slice then it was off to the races and I ended up binging the rest of the cake, a bunch of chips, and then a massive bowl of oatmeal with tons of extras in it. Does anyone else that has experience with this have any remedies for it? Is there a way to have my cake and eat it too without going down the rabbit hole?
Mealprepping makes me miserable
/u/subarremos [5'3 | CW: 99 | GW: 88]
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:38:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohnm6/mealprepping_makes_me_miserable/
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I actually love control and packing my lunch for work, BUT WE DONT HAVE A FUCKING MICROWAVE THERE so I have to eat all my already sad food cold, instead of eating the greasy food at the cafeteria (which looks good tbh)
DAE hate when someone else is thinner than you?
/u/awayimeow [5'2.5 🍭 96lbs 🍭 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:32:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohlsd/dae_hate_when_someone_else_is_thinner_than_you/
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I don't mind if it's a stranger, but I hate when it's someone I know or have to interact with. My friend started seeing a new girl. I haven't even met her in person yet but I've stalked her social media for the past hour trying to figure out if she's objectively thinner than I am. Lol at my life
recovery? maybe?
/u/hairbrushes
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:26:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohjyh/recovery_maybe/
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how do i know if i want to get better because i think i do but also not really i’m very confused and on addy so i’m like ajdbahshvajaak
someone help
Something I regret doing
/u/diaperedwoman
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:25:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohjh3/something_i_regret_doing/
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When I weighed in the 150's, I was so disgusted with my own body and how I looked, I took a Sharpie and colored out my tummy where I was playing with my belly fat on my 13th birthday.
Now in my 30's I totally regret what I did as a teenager because now I don't get to see how my belly used to look because it's all scribbled out with a sharpie. But the good news is, not all my body pictures are scribbled out because I can see my other photos and see how big my hips and thighs were just by looking at myself with clothes on and I can still see my arms and my face because I wore t shirts then too. Back then I wore loose shorts and loose pants and long tops to cover my body because I was so disgusted how I looked. At least I never scribbled out my thighs in the photos because I get to see how far out they stuck out. But the rest of me was thin while that area was big even if I don't get to see my body that well because of clothes I always wore.
[Rant/Rave] Boy told me i looked like i weighed 115 pounds. I had a breakdown
/u/strawberrybubblegam
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:24:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohj73/boy_told_me_i_looked_like_i_weighed_115_pounds_i/
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i’m 98 pounds right now and idk why this guy who i barely know is trying to guess my weight. 115 seems like so much. Now i’m even more dysmorphic, because I know i look skinny-fat. like i know all the fat on my body doesn’t weigh a lot so i look gross. so apparently my 98=visually 115. cool.
i think he meant it as a compliment. ugh
My winter clothes barely fit
/u/AS123x
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:17:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohgys/my_winter_clothes_barely_fit/
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I busted out all my long-sleeve shirts, sweaters, and hoodies to prepare for the coming cold and, upon trying one of them on, realized I had to keep tugging it down because it keeps riding up. I’ve gained 20-30 lbs since last winter and now if I want to look cute in all my winter clothes I have to fucking stop eating entirely 🙃
[Discussion] random things that make you feel like a whale, that “normal” people probably wouldn’t notice?
/u/tifaloch
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:16:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohgs7/random_things_that_make_you_feel_like_a_whale/
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the toilet seat at my office is broken, and so anytime i sit on it, it wiggles and then makes a THUD noise as it slips to its broken position...
it does this for anyone and everyone who sits on it. but to me, that’s not the point. the point is that i’m a giant fat ass and the toilet seat even has to remind me every time i need to pee.
failure whale.
[Rant/Rave] I finally made a decision :)
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Mon Oct 15 16:04:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohcwa/i_finally_made_a_decision/
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I finally got so tired of my shitty relationship that I’ve made the decision to leave. :) I’m gonna be touring places to live these next couple weeks and my move out date is November 1st.
I just got so tired of feeling like I “had” to cause myself physical pain and suffering to cope with the emotional pain and suffering they caused me. I got tired of not being able to bring up any issues I had with the relationship or needs I had without being guilt tripped and told “you’re making me feel SO BAD” yet at the same time being called toxic, manipulative, and controlling, and having to accept that as the gospel truth. I got tired of having to stay out of the house and avoiding expressing any emotion because my emotions were never caused by the “right” things, and the most important thing to know when I was feeling something was that I was wrong about it. But also when I did avoid them being told I’m not trying and that I’m not communicating; when the only communication they’d ever accept was agreeing with them on every single thing. I got tired of my needs being dismissed while simultaneously constantly having to care for others—paying over half the rent while 4 adults lived there, doing all the cleaning, doing the dishes, giving everyone free rides to and from work constantly. It was like I was paying thousands of dollars a month and my labor to be mistreated. I got tired of feeling like a burden when I reached out for help, whenever I reached out for help. I felt ashamed of what I’d let myself put up with for so long. I thought I was stronger than that. I got tired of being told I was selfish and “it hurts me too” when I hurt myself and starved myself to cope with the emotional pain. I got tired of being told “this will affect the baby” when I showed signs of mental illness in any way. I got tired of having to remain hidden—I watched them get married without me, have a baby shower without me, be publicly “together” without me, and when we visited my male partner’s grandparents I had to pretend to be a “friend” and I couldn’t complain about it or I was selfish, and my brother (who’s trans) had to be forced to be misgendered and use his dead name. I got tired of giving so, so much of myself and getting so little in return, yet being told that I was “asking for too much” and “being unreasonable” for wanting emotional support at any time.
Right now I don’t care if they’ll hate me, if they’ll struggle, if they’ll beg me to stay, if everything they said was true...I don’t care if all the awful things they’ve said about me are true. It no longer matters. What matters is that I cannot live with them and recover in any capacity, I cannot live with them and expect myself to not relapse, I cannot live with them and be happy and healthy, and they have no desire to change because me being hurt is not a good enough reason, ever.
I’m so incredibly excited to move out. I’m thinking about how to decorate my room...(I’ll have roommates). I’m thinking about all the things I’ll be able to do with my spare time and money. I’m thinking about how selfish I will be able to be with my possessions and time. I’m thinking about how well I’ll be able to take care of myself.
I know it will suck for a while, and I’ll be sad and lonely, but I also know I can handle it and I’ll make it out some way, somehow. And I’ll be better off for it.
[Rant/Rave] Amazon’s Romanoffs
/u/tvshve
Created: Mon Oct 15 15:59:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ohb1p/amazons_romanoffs/
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Idk if anyone has seen any of the episodes yet but basically all the focused on women are very thin. Like it’s almost not a coincidence at this point. I’m not sure if I love it or am bother by it because of that.
i hate my fucking body but i did this to it
/u/glitt3rdb1tch
Created: Mon Oct 15 15:56:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oha9k/i_hate_my_fucking_body_but_i_did_this_to_it/
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today i got home and i was looking forward to eating for once in a while. i haven’t eaten in a week and a couple days so i was ready to have a small meal and call it a day. i made a cup of brown rice and once it was cooked took 1/4 a cup to eat for myself and put the rest in the fridge. i ate it and i felt ok, but about 5 minutes later i felt sick and threw it up. i know i did this to my body and i hate myself for it but now i just can’t stop it. i actually wanted to eat today and i’ve fucked myself up so bad that i can’t. i’m worried that i’ll never be normal again. my throat burns so bad because of past purging and cigarettes and now it hurts even more. time to go chainsmoke and act like that didn’t happen.
[Rant/Rave] Sorry if this rant makes me sound like a bitch, just really angry rn
/u/peacecorpsquestion3 [5’6 | 115]
Created: Mon Oct 15 15:44:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oh6jj/sorry_if_this_rant_makes_me_sound_like_a_bitch/
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So I was eating lunch today at school, I was eating my OMAD of 3 falafel thingies (320) a peach (60), and an apple (80). This girl was sitting like diagonally from me and she’s definitely overweight, probably obese. Anyways we weren’t talking or anything and she just looks at my food and goes “Are you going to eat ALL of that?!”
And oh my god I almost fucking lost it right at that table. YES I am fucking going to eat my 460 calorie lunch especially when it is ALL I AM EATING TODAY. It just makes me so mad. She has no right to act like I’m a fatass and shouldn’t be eating a perfectly normal sized lunch. She’s done shit like this before and just generally tries to act like she never eats and is judgy of other people eating and I!! hate!! it!!!
“Skinny Pasta” only 20 calories for the entire bag!!!!
/u/NotStephany [5'5| 193 | 32.49 | -101lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 15:43:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oh69c/skinny_pasta_only_20_calories_for_the_entire_bag/
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https://i.redd.it/1gb88rf46fs11.jpg
My roommate's A4 waist...
/u/ricemask [5'6" | HW:155 | UGW: 100 | 20F | 🍑: riceemask]
Created: Mon Oct 15 15:12:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogvzd/my_roommates_a4_waist/
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My roommate, who is Chinese, literally can't stop talking about how fat she is. I always offer Asian snacks to her when I go to the store, and she complains about how much she eats. She went to a thrift store and bought this size 2 dress, and while I helped her zip it up, she noticed that the waist part was slightly stretched.
"The last person who wore this must of had a huge belly," she says.
She asked if I could help her pin the dress, and she kept telling me how the last person who wore the dress was probably overweight and fat and that she didn't know if she had enough thread to sew up the waist.
"I have an A4 waist!! How did this person even get into this dress!!" she yells. I ask her what an A4 waist is.
She pulls a piece of paper from her binder. She puts it on her waist.
"See! This is an A4 waist! You have to put it vertically. This person probably has a horizontal A4 waist."
She keeps complaining about the dress and says she might give it to her bigger friend instead.
All day I've been really self-conscious and just been obsessed with the idea, and I still can't believe my new weight goal is to be skinnier than the vertical width of a piece of paper....
In case you don't know what the [A4 Waist](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/19/world/asia/china-paper-waist-challenge.html) is.
[Discussion] Restricting more/better during specific times of the year?
/u/sveltetrainer
Created: Mon Oct 15 15:09:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogv6t/restricting_morebetter_during_specific_times_of/
---
Don’t get me wrong, my self hatred is year-round, but I always find myself restricting more and doing so better during fall. I don’t know what it is about it, maybe because it’s my favorite season and I have this desire to fit the fashion aesthetic of it??? Anybody else the same way or have a different time that you’re like this?
ugh constantly triggered by roommates
/u/atla302
Created: Mon Oct 15 15:01:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogs8h/ugh_constantly_triggered_by_roommates/
---
so me and my roommates get along really well and we're all pretty close but my one roommate is tiny and i constantly find myself triggered by her eating habits. first of all, she's like 100lbs and thats my GW at the moment soo that feels good. she's like one of those people who has always been really skinny and gets full really easily, but whenever i see her eating or eat with her, i'm always reminded about how fucking fat i am and how much i eat. yesterday night, I was doing homework in the living room with her and I watched her eat two bites out of a bagel and a bite of chinese food and THAT WAS ALL. Idk how she actually feels full from that...anyways, that made me feel like shit about shoveling a whole lb of broccoli in my face.
It's always like this and it makes me feel even more like shit about myself. k thanks, thats all. bye.
I wish I could clone fatter me....
/u/xlilgirlpoptartx [5'7 | CW: 198 | SW: 245 | GW:135 | UGW:115 | F/37]
Created: Mon Oct 15 14:59:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogrn0/i_wish_i_could_clone_fatter_me/
---
.....and stand her in front of me so I can stare at her and my body now and actually maybe SEE the difference, even in pictures I'm like well I still have fat in all the same places so am I just gonna be a blob forever....and yeah friends can say what they want....you look great etc but no...no i don't, stop fucking lying to me!!!
[Discussion] DAE forget about a secret stash of binge food, only to find it like a month later?
/u/Grellous8 [5'6.5" | Fatkunt (CW: ~150lbs.) | LW (110lbs.) | 16M]
Created: Mon Oct 15 14:51:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogp1c/dae_forget_about_a_secret_stash_of_binge_food/
---
Fuck man I flip my shit. I'll be cleaning out my basement when all of a sudden, open up a box and find some more food when I thought there was no more left in the house.
Ephedrine in the EU
/u/ElectricalDeer87 [5'8" | 139.0lbs | -13.6lbs | Goal: 95lbs | BMI 21.12 | 16F | Fat]
Created: Mon Oct 15 14:47:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogngg/ephedrine_in_the_eu/
---
Hey!
​
I just found out that Sinutab tablets (a EU brand name, as far as I'm aware) contains 60mg of Ephedrine (the pseudo kind) in a splittable tablet. My mom got them prescribed by a doctor pretty easily. If you can find the appropriate symptoms for them, you can get them prescribed, and Asthma is not a necessary diagnosis or anything. Goodluck stacking! :)
I love to just dance & jump alone in my room to my favorite songs
/u/ytrew_w
Created: Mon Oct 15 14:17:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogdkp/i_love_to_just_dance_jump_alone_in_my_room_to_my/
---
What do you do to terminate a binge cycle?
/u/crenegade
Created: Mon Oct 15 14:10:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ogb1z/what_do_you_do_to_terminate_a_binge_cycle/
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I’ve been binging 3-4k cals for about a week and it’s honestly getting draining. I’m undoing all the good work of the past few months. I’m not sure how to move forward. Do I water fast to shed the extra weight or do I just go back to high restricting. I’m so so tired from all the thinking and I just need to hear something that isn’t the voice in my head.
[Discussion] so does tea have calories or not?
/u/unimportantnull
Created: Mon Oct 15 13:59:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9og74g/so_does_tea_have_calories_or_not/
---
lmao i drink about 8 cups a day and if it does i’m going to implode. the brand i use isn’t very strong and it says 0 calories, but i looked it up and people say that tea always has around 2 calories per cup. this isn’t that bad alone but considering the volume i drink it’s pretty distressing. just wanted some definitive answers because everything i’ve read is pretty mixed
I'm falling apart.
/u/LeOssa
Created: Mon Oct 15 13:46:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9og2mw/im_falling_apart/
---
No,this isn't some crisis. This is me bitching about 15 years of eating disorders and self neglect catching up to me and being mentally unprepared to handle it.
As of the moment my front teeth are nearly transparent, I have numerous cavities, my joints are *destroyed* from exercise addiction on a knee with no ACL or medial meniscus, my body hair grows in patches, my hair is starting to frizz, break and fall out again, and this morning I learned that I've gone partially deaf in one ear.
I am 25 years old, man.
[Goal] Input on WALKING as a great weight-loss contributor? And what are you goals?
/u/coffee_walk_paint
Created: Mon Oct 15 13:34:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ofyrw/input_on_walking_as_a_great_weightloss/
---
I feel whenever I have a step goal of 10k+, my weight-loss soars... Which is probably a result of other things that happen when being in that state of mind to achieve goals for the time being.
Since a lot of my work can be done on my phone, I hope to walk 15k+ steps. I just hate doing it in the sun, but gym memberships are a bitch and I have being around creeps judging me for being on the treadmill for a while.
Ideas?
I asked someone out on a date for the first time in my life.
/u/camelno9 [5'10 | 158lbs | 22.7 | -132lbs | 20M]
Created: Mon Oct 15 12:59:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ofmtb/i_asked_someone_out_on_a_date_for_the_first_time/
---
She ghosted me the day we were supposed to go out. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
CW: 93 lb UGW: 90 lb
/u/dumb-bitch69
Created: Mon Oct 15 12:55:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ofl7b/cw_93_lb_ugw_90_lb/
---
https://i.redd.it/gg3aa2w2ces11.jpg
too paranoid about how i look in my tinder pics to seriously pursue anyone
/u/lkroa
Created: Mon Oct 15 12:26:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ofbw5/too_paranoid_about_how_i_look_in_my_tinder_pics/
---
ya girl need to get some/get a life but i’m too paranoid about how I look in my pics. like I’m gonna show up and they’re gonna be disgusted by the fat bitch who shows up
[Help] So I tried calculating the calories of this using the info from my last post on finding calories in Mandarin... were these nuts really 645 calories?!
/u/psychedelicpeach [5'5.5'' | 23.5 | CW:144 | GW:125]
Created: Mon Oct 15 12:12:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9of72v/so_i_tried_calculating_the_calories_of_this_using/
---
https://i.redd.it/3d3bhk1i4es11.jpg
Anybody else read your horoscopes? This is freakin me out a little
/u/peacecorpsquestion3 [5’6 | 115]
Created: Mon Oct 15 12:01:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9of37o/anybody_else_read_your_horoscopes_this_is_freakin/
---
https://i.redd.it/fg4g8qdd2es11.jpg
Sitting in my car
/u/fishaboveH2O
Created: Mon Oct 15 11:44:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oexkx/sitting_in_my_car/
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Eating the to go order I got for “someone else” after I ate alone in a restaurant. Is this a new low for me?
[Discussion] SALT WATER FLUSH??
/u/lemondropsicle [5'3.5" | now: 24" waist | goal: 22" waist| ]
Created: Mon Oct 15 11:41:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oewsg/salt_water_flush/
---
I’ve been salt water flushing once or twice every week and I love it but I was wondering whether anyone has experienced any negative side effects from it?!
I really don’t wanna keep doing it but it does such a good job and I feel “clean” after :/ I usually do it during the weekends after a day of eating more than usual.
What are your experiences with salt water flushing!?
Periods of starving and binging
/u/ilonacamille [162cm | Whale | -25lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 11:36:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oeusr/periods_of_starving_and_binging/
---
Hi
Does anyone else deal with periods of starving and binging?
Some week I can starve myself no problem, eat under 300cals and still work out to end up in a netto negative. Other days I NEED to eat everything in sight. I’ll tell myself I’ll starve again the next day but I’ll keep stuffing my fat face.
Like last week I wasn’t craving anything, didn’t feel the need to eat. This week I’ve eaten everything. Eating nutella out of the jar, eating out AND taking dessert. Like I had a voice in my head telling me to eat all the food I could find even if I didn’t want to. Right before dinner it kind of “switched off” and I went back to eating barely anything at dinner.
Anyone else experiencing this? Including the feeling that you HAVE to eat the unhealthy food even if you are telling yourself you don’t want it? Let’s discuss and cry together.
Restricted all week, binged on Saturday, restricted yesterday, and today I’m up 3lb?
/u/Idontbelieveinblue
Created: Mon Oct 15 11:25:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oer5m/restricted_all_week_binged_on_saturday_restricted/
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Restricted (<500cal/day) all of last week. Lost ~7lbs. Binged about 3000 calories on Saturday, but Sunday morning I was only up 2lbs. Yesterday I ate 1/2 cup cooked white rice, 2oz ground turkey, and 2 cups broccoli. I also drank a fuck ton or water. But today I’m up another pound!!!
I never post here in case someone somehow finds my account but at this point I don’t really care. Please tell me there is a woosh coming or something because I can’t do less then 300 calories on days I need to drive and I have to take my dog to the vet later.
Is a woosh coming???
125
/u/Myrix10101
Created: Mon Oct 15 11:15:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oenmg/125/
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I got 125 today and I’m just really happy. I absolutely blew up during pregnancy. A month after I had my son I was 174 pounds. It was a nightmare. It’s been 14 months and I’m busting my ass but I will be super cute and tiny again ☺️
[Rant/Rave] Im trying intuitive eating.
/u/dollydomer [5'6 | 107.8|GW 100 |F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 11:10:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oelpr/im_trying_intuitive_eating/
---
I don’t know if any of you have seen some recent posts of mine basically freaking out because of my ed lol. i was/am really struggling and it’s making me really depressed.
but i’m depressed because i’m getting memories and feelings from 2 years ago. before my life got to shit. i miss it. i was not completely in my eating disorder. disordered eating no eating disorder yet. but missing two years ago has made me change my behavior into what it was then. weird. but i’m not low restricting. im trying to follow my hunger cues which is harder than it seems but it’s getting there.
i can tell im healthy though. for a couple weeks i basically did not get out of bed except for school, and then for a couple days i didn’t have the energy to get up to go to the bathroom. it hurt. a lot. i talked myself into eating more and exercising because i can’t be this sick right now. when i’m in college i can but right now i don’t want the attention from my family.
so i’m eating. and i feel better actually. and even though i’ve been accidentally over eating, i still look fuckingg good. i looked like shit low restricting because your fat moves to ur stomach to protect organs after a while and bloating. not starving is such a weird concept that we should maybe read up on?
im stoned sorry lollll
How to prevent hair loss?
/u/rosepetalmemories
Created: Mon Oct 15 10:35:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oea46/how_to_prevent_hair_loss/
---
I have long hair to below my butt. One of my fear while losing weight is that I will also lose hair. Anyone know how to prevent this?
[Discussion] I feel like I need help convincing myself to drink water.
/u/kalianda [5'4" | CW 129 | GW 115 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 10:32:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oe952/i_feel_like_i_need_help_convincing_myself_to/
---
Ever since I learned "fat cells store water" I've been having trouble convincing myself to drink a daily water quota. I drink a little bit of it when I'm thirsty (sometimes I am) but it doesn't take much for the thirst to go away. I have trouble convincing myself to drink a quota of water. My pee volume went down when I stopped chugging water when I'm not thirsty, but it's not dark or cloudy. It's like a clear pale yellow.
I know there's a ton of standard advice floating around like "drinking a lot of water helps weight loss" etc etc but that stuff sounds so....vague and unexplained. Not a specific, testable, scientific fact like "fat cells store water." And it seems that my brain is prioritizing "specific > vague," as it often does.
Can we just talk about water?
I just had a cup of air and it was soooooo filling you guys
/u/dostoyefski
Created: Mon Oct 15 10:22:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oe5vy/i_just_had_a_cup_of_air_and_it_was_soooooo/
---
https://i.redd.it/lesevq165ds11.jpg
No-snack month
/u/little_tiny_pumpkin [5'5.5'' | CW: 119 | GW: 115 | HW: 136 | LW: 90 | 27F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 10:17:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oe479/nosnack_month/
---
I fucked up the first week of October -- but that only allowed me to see just how many calories I was spending on mindless snacking (the calorie dense protein bars and nuts and cheese just sitting there for me to "conveniently" grab on my way through the kitchen).
Starting on the 8th, I've stuck solely to OMAD and TwoMAD and it's kept me under 1200 every day, averaging around 800 a day. I save all my "snacking" for right after dinner as a sort of dessert if I'm not full enough or if I realize I have any big nutritional deficiencies to resolve.
Anyway, NO SNACK OCTOBER, WHO'S WITH ME??
Hoping that my math is right...
/u/lilmisssuccubus [159cm | CW: 52.8kg |BMI: 20.8 | GW: 46.7kg | -27kg | 26F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 10:07:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oe0vk/hoping_that_my_math_is_right/
---
So I have a trip to the state fair with my friend on thursday. The entire point is to eat. I am going to guess that for the entire day, it will probably be around 3,000 calories.
My resting energy burn per day is 1,400 calories and I actively burn between 400-500 calories a day for a total daily expenditure of 1790-1900 calories burned a day. I am trying to lose 1.5 pounds a week to get to my first goal weight by thanksgiving.
I have calculated with 9,800 calories burned a week (resting 1400x7) plus the active 2,800 (400x7) to get 12,600 calories burned each week. I need to be at -5,250 calories for the week to lose 1.5lbs. So I have 7,350 calories for the week. If I eat 3,000 on Thursday, I need to eat 725 a day for all other days, right?
I have to be 108 at Thanksgiving. Someone I hate very much will be there and I need to be as skinny as possible.
[Rant/Rave] I want to kill myself
/u/mmblarg
Created: Mon Oct 15 10:07:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oe0pt/i_want_to_kill_myself/
---
I’ve done nothing but struggle and have officially failed. I can’t graduate, I’ve dropped out of college and no one cares. I have 45k in school loans and nothing to show for it. I have cancer and a broken body that no one will help with. I have medical debt piling up, a home that’s falling apart, a husband who’s getting dragged down with me, and a family full of helpless failures like me.
I can’t keep struggling. I can’t
Sad
/u/httpram
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:51:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odvu0/sad/
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i had a consultation with a therapist on the phone today... she mentioned my eating and i know that they technically aren’t allowed to diagnose me without an underweight bmi (i have an overweight bmi) but it just feels like i’m a fake.. i feel like my progress doesn’t exist and i’m just imagining my collarbones coming through a little bit better
Any other Canadian ED-Stoners simultaneously ecstatic about and fearful of legalization?
/u/xx420bluntymcbongxx [5'7" | CW 123 | BMI 19.20 | 25F 🇨🇦]
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:47:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oduj6/any_other_canadian_edstoners_simultaneously/
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If you're not aware, Canada will be legalizing cannabis for recreational use on October 17th, which is only 2 days away! I can buy legally and my taxes from purchases will (hopefully) go towards improving my community! And hopefully less people will be thrown in jail for no reason!! Happy days!
...but at the same time, I'm worried that having such easy access to weed all the time will make me more prone to binging, which in my case is definitely exacerbated by smoking. There's literally a government run dispensary down the street from me, like a 1 minute drive away, and prices are so cheap I feel like I'll end up smoking way more.
Just wondering if any other of my fellow Canucks have been feeling this way.
[Rant/Rave] So much depression over my body, I will never be good enough and “feel so much healthier” or “look great and feel happy” like I thought I would when I started losing normally. My boyfriend said my ED changed me, I just want to be loved.
/u/indentionsofme [Height 5"10 | CW 100| HW 142| GW 95 l BMI 14.3]
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:39:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odrr8/so_much_depression_over_my_body_i_will_never_be/
---
I am feeling pretty bad right now about my body. I am up from 98lbs in June to roughly 104 right now maybe less 🤞🏻 waiting to weigh for a few weeks.
This morning a bunch of progress pics came up in my feed. People were so happy and proud and felt good. They were normal about it and their progress and how healthy they eat etc. that was my go to sub back in the day, now I know I will never be done.
98 felt good but I panicked and thought I was dying and gross. Now I would do anything to get back. I miss that body, I was soooo close to my GW.
My bf and I have not been intimate for about 6 months. We live together and he cares about me, but it literally broke me when I had to beg for a hug last night. He says I’m a “bag of bones” and he doesn’t even know how to grab me and hold me. Based on it feels scary. I feel nothing but fat growing on my body, morphing under my skin to disgusting yellow mush.
He says I’ve changed so much with my ED that it is so hard to be with me. He was not mean about this and did not give me an ultimatum but just said he thinks I am beautiful but he is not physically attracted to me anymore in my current body. He misses the old me. He would like me to gain and be healthy. He has supported me through mental illness for years but I think this one being visible is worse.
Thennnnnn my ED brain fears if he is ever interested I must have gotten fat. I just want to be held and hugged.
[Rant/Rave] I’m doing my first ever 48 hour fast and I’m excited for some reason lol
/u/narkreturn
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:36:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odr1o/im_doing_my_first_ever_48_hour_fast_and_im/
---
[Discussion] Is there a weight where you think you start to look good/feel less self-conscious?
/u/whitechocolateonly [5'8.5 | CW: 127 & BMI: 18.75 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:30:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odp2g/is_there_a_weight_where_you_think_you_start_to/
---
I’ve been thinking about this lately and for me it’s specifically 128lbs. I don’t look round or bloated in the belly, my collar bones and tendons in my hands are more visible, and my jawline is more defined. 128 is no where near my goal weight but it’s a weight that makes me less self conscious. What about you guys?
[Other] Realizing how much my feelings on pro ED sites/subreddits changed
/u/pringlesenthusiast [5’3 | CW 132 | HW 175 | GW 110| UGW 98]
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:27:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odnuh/realizing_how_much_my_feelings_on_pro_ed/
---
I’m on stimulants so bear with me I got many thoughts right now 😂. I’m 21 now and began “disordered eating” at 15. Like a lot of people, I was in and out of recovery. As a teen with an eating disorder I really looked down upon anything pro ED(especially when I was in a recovery phase) but I really thought they were the devil. I thought pro ED was about breaking each other’s self esteem down, competing, just a really nasty environment. I never thought that this community would be so kind and supportive. I felt so alone with my ED and shameful about it. and when bringing it up with friends they would get uncomfortable and tell me I need help and need to get treatment again blah blah blah. It was not helpful!! If I wanted to recover it would have been maybe. But I felt even more different and alone. Being on this sub honestly makes me less depressed and alone feeling. And I love that when people leave for treatment/recovery we still support them. I guess my point is thank you all for making this a place where I can be honest and not receive negative comments.
[Discussion] Anyone else do "if i don't eat until this date, I will have lost x pounds" math?
/u/aeroplanessky [5"3 | 110]
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:04:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odgnd/anyone_else_do_if_i_dont_eat_until_this_date_i/
---
I'm feeling far as ever, and for some reason I can't motivate myself like I used to. Usually I'd get up passed 110, freak out, then go back down to 105, and bounce back and forth like that.
I'm 113 now. Nothing seems to be working. So in my head, I just keep thinking "if I don't eat until my next paycheck (the 31st), I'll lose almost 6 pounds (since my base calories is about 1100 per day, about 3200 calories need to be turned to lose a pound)".
Obviously I know I'll just about die if I go that long without any supliments. So usually I plan that out by thinking "alright. If I eat a yogurt and some chicken on Tuesday, that's about 300 calories. If I run at the gym for 4 miles, that'll cancel that out."
Idk. I feel like I'm losing it but not losing it (ahaha). Anyways, anyone else think that 17 days of no food for only 6 pounds is ridiculous?
Not super ED related BUT this is the only community where I know y’all are f’ked up and irrational too...
/u/bunigirl2
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:02:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odfzf/not_super_ed_related_but_this_is_the_only/
---
I am ObViOuSlY in a bad place with myself and started sleeping with one of my professors when I started college, he’s in like his late-thirties, because ???
I was 18 when we first started messing around and he had a girlfriend of 10+ years and she found out and dumped him and I didn’t care at all (because I’m a horrible person I know I hate myself). She was bigger like probably 5”10’ and like 180 by my guess and I was 5”5’ and like 100 lbs and he always told me how much better than her I was and how much tinier and all the things he couldn’t do to her that he could do to me and whatever. Really enabling.
So I’ve been seeing him strictly for sexual shit for like 3 years and I’m 21 now and I just found out he’s fucking ANOTHER 18 year old student who is like the same size i used to be but now I’m like 10 lbs heavier.
I confronted him about it because I’m just convinced that he’s doing it because I’m fat now and old now and undesirable and FUCK why can’t I stay 18 forever and he says that isn’t the case and he LOOOVES her and they’re actually DATING.
So I fucked him and then screenshotted all of our texts including the ones directly saying that he still wants to fuck me while dating her and sent them to her 🤷🏻♀️
Now they’re broken up and he’s called like a million times saying how I’m a slut and the worst person alive and I ruined his life and I feel like crap and hate myself even more lol oops 🙃
[Rant/Rave] Just found out my dining court has sugar free vanilla syrup 😃
/u/malificentbeauty [5'2.5 | SW 150 | GW 110 | -9 | 21F ]
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:00:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odfi6/just_found_out_my_dining_court_has_sugar_free/
---
I’m about to have so much more coffee every day. Some of that syrup with a splash of soy milk will be so helpful I love coffee syrups
[Rant/Rave] Seven whole days without eating over maintenance 👏🏻
/u/ghostlythin [61.25” | CW 98.4 | BMI 18.4]
Created: Mon Oct 15 09:00:15 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odfes/seven_whole_days_without_eating_over_maintenance/
---
I’ve went seven days without eating over my maintenance calories! I’ve also been logging my calorie intake for 10 days straight now, which is good because the last couple of months have been pretty rough for my ED, so this is a pretty big achievement for me. Here’s to another 7 days, hopefully (but not likely XD). If I can at least keep logging, and slowly losing weight at least, I think that will be a pretty good achievement at least.
[Discussion] watching mukbangs satisfies my hunger
/u/glitt3rdb1tch
Created: Mon Oct 15 08:43:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9odabi/watching_mukbangs_satisfies_my_hunger/
---
i think the food they eat is disgusting for the most part but when i’m feeling hunger pains and i watch them i feel like i just ate. maybe it’s out of disgust or something but it actually feels like it fills my stomach. isn’t that something. sometimes watching them eat so fast makes me feel like i’m gonna be sick and i have to turn it off but it still will do the trick. i just wanted to know if anyone else relates to this or if u guys just get too disgusted to watch them. i just think about all the calories they are eating and it literally feels like i just ate the same amount.
[Discussion] DAE find themselves unable to log calories for binges?
/u/sylas69 [5’3.5 | 101 lbs | 17.6 | f]
Created: Mon Oct 15 08:23:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9od3xp/dae_find_themselves_unable_to_log_calories_for/
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Whenever I binge I just can’t find it in me to log the calories because I’m so ashamed and scared to see what the results will be. Does anyone else do this?
Buffets
/u/throwawayluckybamboo [5'4" | CW: 145.2 | GW: 125 | LW: 115 | UGW: 105]
Created: Mon Oct 15 08:04:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocyhy/buffets/
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So, I realize I'm being annoying and posting too much but I need some advice. I started a new job in August and I don't work with too many people, but some of them were friends and were nice enough to let me know that every Wednesday they meet for lunch. Usually they were going to the food trucks which come to our workplace on Wednesday, but now that it's cold out (😩) we've been going out to restaurants. Two weeks ago we went to a Vietnamese place which was okay since pho is sort of reasonable. Last week they said they were going to a Thai buffet, so I made an excuse to miss it, but they were 'nice' and postponed it to this Wednesday. So this week we are going to a buffet. It's so amazing. Just a small Thai buffet but what they have is so good. Mini spring rolls, beef curry, chicken curry, coconut rice and some kind of soup. I don't know how to keep myself on track, first with the mentality that I have to get my $22 worth of food and also just with eating normally. My plan is to make it an OMAD and not eat anything for dinner or just have some broth if I get really hungry.
How do you estimate portion sizes without weighing/measuring cups? Also, I feel really uncomfortable eating around these co-workers because they're both a lot (lot) heavier than I am, so even if I wanted to say I was on a diet or something I think it would make them dislike me. My plan for the upcoming weeks is to say that I am on a low FODMAP diet for my IBS so I can't eat out. It sounds so shitty but I wish they didn't invite me. So shitty because I should appreciate them being nice to me but all I think about is the food aspect :(
[Other] Fasting today, buffet tomorrow
/u/Yoni1660
Created: Mon Oct 15 08:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocxbd/fasting_today_buffet_tomorrow/
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I’m fasting all day today and eating WHATEVER I want tomorrow at a Chinese buffet. I’m so excited! It’s all I can think about.
Has anyone else done this? Did you get sick from binging after fasting?
[Tip] Giving myself 2 allotted binge days a month has super improved my restriction and stress!
/u/orthoreXXX [23F | 5’4” | cw 112 | gw 105 | bmi 19.6]
Created: Mon Oct 15 07:48:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9octms/giving_myself_2_allotted_binge_days_a_month_has/
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Hey guys! So last month I decided to start giving myself two binge days a month (the first and second day of my period lol) and restricted for the rest of the month. Every time I had an urge to binge, I wrote it down to buy for my upcoming binge day and it helped to relieve a lot of the urges and stress of feeling like I needed to eat that food.
I highly recommend this if anyone needs help with their binging! It also makes it easy if you set very specific dates each month.
[Tip] How do you manage your food cravings when you work in a desk bound job?
/u/serendipi7y_
Created: Mon Oct 15 07:43:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocs7b/how_do_you_manage_your_food_cravings_when_you/
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I am unable to stop myself from eating little biscuits and sweets. I wanna quit for good. What is a good way to fight it?
[Rant/Rave] I need someone to talk to
/u/lasciviousdoll [160 |CW 53.9 |SW 64.5 |GW 48]
Created: Mon Oct 15 07:39:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocr4r/i_need_someone_to_talk_to/
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I’ve always been able to talk to my friends about anything in my life, but ever since I’ve tried to talk to them about my ed they act like it’s not an issue and are SO triggering. I feel like I don’t have an issue because they act like it’s not an issue (because feeling like eating a normal meal is a binge is totally normal right? /s) I feel so alone, I have no one to talk to about this and now I can’t even vent to my friends because their reaction makes me feel like I’m overreacting and that I need to restrict further..
SS vs. SS - THE triggering factor for me
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Mon Oct 15 07:35:37 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocq6j/ss_vs_ss_the_triggering_factor_for_me/
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Okay, I'm of course talking about Supersize vs Superskinny not Hitler's fanclub.
I've been binge watching it these past few days and you know what really triggers me the most about it?
It's not seeing those tiiiiny superskinnys or how they can't finish their meals. It's not the supersizes or how they eat those giant quantities.
It's how these skinny people usually don't seem like anorexics, but people who just... don't care about food. Like, at all. Their disinterest in food actually has them forgetting to eat and just go about their day. Can you imagine being that way? Not caring about food? That it's just not a big deal to you? That must be a blessing! 🤩
UNDER 200!!!!
/u/xlilgirlpoptartx [5'7 | CW: 200 | SW: 245 | GW:135 | UGW:115 | F/37]
Created: Mon Oct 15 07:12:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocjni/under_200/
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I actually hit this milestone yesterday when the scale said 199.2 but I just didn't want to quite believe it yet but this morning it said 198.4 so I think I will just take that as a sign that something is finally going right after having been stalled for over a week or so at 201-202 before.
So yea I have made it! I may or may not break my fast today, it will be 72 hours if I make it til 4pm, which I have trained my brain to believe eating after 4pm is not allowed so then if I make it til then I always think may as well go to bed in a few hours and make it til 8am the next day, (I like to sleep early and wake up before the sun like an old person lolol)
My longest fast has been a week, but I don't know if I will or won't make it that long. I see my doctor on Wednesday though and I am really REALLY wanting to step on the scale there and it say something under 200 as well so I keep hoping it tips down just another poundish or so, because U know from experience that my clothes tend to weight about 1-2 pounds because they always are like....oh just leave your shoes on....it's fine....no bitch it's not really but whatever lol
Anyway, yay!
EC stacking in the uk
/u/floweredfox [5'1" | 2fat | 20F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 07:11:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocjhy/ec_stacking_in_the_uk/
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Where do you get the ephedrine? It doesn't seem like you can really get it without a prescription at the pharmacy like you can in the USA. Anyone know of anywhere that does carry it?
[Rant/Rave] Dumped my shitty ex!! WHOOOOT
/u/sayyourprayersbitch [5'5 | CW 105 | 17.4 | F ]
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:51:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocdux/dumped_my_shitty_ex_whoooot/
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Hi friends. I’m sure none of ya’ll remember who I am but that’s okay. I want to give a brief life update because why not.
Since the last time I posted, I decided to take your advice and dump my shitbag ex boyfriend (read past post to see why he was a shitbag) and the past two weeks of being alone have been the BEST that I have had in over a year. My head feels so clear and I feel like myself again. Ya’ll were so right, he was super manipulative and I couldn’t see it until I tried to get out. He held my puppy as leverage over me and to get away from him, I had to give her up. Definitely broke my heart but I guess she’s the only one who could love a person like him, so I guess he needs her more.
In terms of my ED behaviors, they have fluctuated. The first week of living back with my mom was great. I ate like a normal human and ED was quiet and let me heal. The second week, ED started creeping in again and telling me that I was proving my ex right, and I was a fat slob. At this point, ED and I are friends again and we agree that I’m not a fat slob but that the best way to get back at my ex (god i’m petty help) is to show him how small I can get and what he did to me. Doesn’t exactly make sense but also I like the results I’m getting so fuck it.
My mom knows (to an extent) about some of my eating issues but I am really proud of how well I have hid it so far. I’ve been getting away with like 1 meal a day and maybe a small snack or two, usually not hitting 800cal. When I moved home, I was 115 (huge panic attack over that) and as of Friday, I am 108.
For now, that is about it.
Also follow me on peach: sayyourprayersbitch
please help me i'm freaking out
/u/loggainmigok [5'5'' |23.9|CW: 140 | LW: 130 |HW: 160|GW: 110| -5 lbs| 26F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:49:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocdlo/please_help_me_im_freaking_out/
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TRIGGERING, do not read this if you are trying to recover!!
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god fuck, i just read this article: [https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html?action=click&contentCollection=U.S.&module=Trending&version=Full®ion=Marginalia&pgtype=article](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html?action=click&contentCollection=U.S.&module=Trending&version=Full®ion=Marginalia&pgtype=article)
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and then this: [http://www.berkeleywellness.com/healthy-eating/nutrition/article/can-you-trust-calorie-counts](http://www.berkeleywellness.com/healthy-eating/nutrition/article/can-you-trust-calorie-counts)
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and I just started weeping. I am not obese or overweight, but I bet i'm doing damage to my metabolic rate and fuck, probably already have from the years before I recovered
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I mean, I want to eat enough to have some nutrients, but it's so difficult. and I was fucking hoping to be able to eat at least marginally more normally when i got to my GW but that seems laughable now. How the fuck am I going to maintain when I get to my GW? it seems impossible. I'm so scared of metabolic damage. But I mean, worst case scenario I might just have to keep eating 1000 kcals a day forever. I can't possibly gain on that, right?
bc 1000 \* 1.25 = 1250
91000 \* 0.75 = 750
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I can't possibly gain on that right? and with OMAD, I think I'll be able to do it. but I just hoped I would be able to eat a bit more again in the future lmao, apparently not. fuck i love ice cream, byebye icecream FUCK
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I'm just fucking heartbroken
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imagine being happy with your weight, being able to maintain just like that and not having to count calories? wow-ee, that WOULD BE SOMETHING
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FUCK
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I jut wanted someone to talk to. crying, alone and fat and absolutely hopeless :(
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So honestly I went vegetarian to make it easier to restrict.
/u/sarakerosene
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:49:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ocdj3/so_honestly_i_went_vegetarian_to_make_it_easier/
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I'm thinking of cutting off sugar next because I have lasted almost two months with my veggie lifestyle so my resolve is getting much stronger. I did have meat twice while drunk but I didn't beat myself up about it. I am diabetic so I shouldn't be eating any sugar anyway. I just want to try to figure out a reasonable way to incorporate low calorie protein... Not fucking peanut butter like people keep suggesting elsewhere. The problem exists right now because I can't stand cooking and using the dishes in the kitchen where I live because there are roaches so I eat a lot of work food which includes salads with still a little too much dressing sometimes because I'm a pig. But for my one meal a day I allow myself to have extra cheese with it because that's got some protein and I use spinach instead of Romaine...
I had a bunch of sugar on Saturday night and it triggered a very back and forth binge and Purge episode & I purged more in one day than I ever have before and I'd rather just restrict instead of purging so I want to avoid those triggers as much as possible.
[Rant/Rave] My laxatives didn’t work
/u/comrade_toastboy [65 |CW 117 | GW 115 | GW 105-110 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:45:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9occgz/my_laxatives_didnt_work/
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I take the chocolate senna tabs and I took two, the recommended amount. But nothing happened. Should I take 4? Or should I stick with the smooth move tea? I don’t we’ll find out later today my choice.
[Rant/Rave] I can’t talk about this stuff with my BF
/u/malificentbeauty [5'2.5 | SW 150 | GW 110 | -9 | 21F ]
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:34:30 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oc9p0/i_cant_talk_about_this_stuff_with_my_bf/
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My boyfriend is the best. He loves me and supports me and is always there for me. But I’m starting therapy soon and so I told him more about my struggles with my ED and even suggested he look up more about it so I could be more open with him about it and have him understand more. He looked at this sub, I asked him what he thought, my mistake, and he said some of it is disturbing. Like no shit it’s disturbing I feel disturbed by my own brain all the time. But hearing him say that was really sad. I don’t want him to think of me as disturbed or having thoughts that make him uncomfortable. And then he said that as long as I’m trying to get better even though it’s hard he will be there for me. So...what? If I don’t want to get better I just have to hide it then? I guess is what he’s saying. Even now I’m just thinking about how much weight I can lose before I start therapy and how I’m only going to talk with my therapist about my binging behaviors so maybe I can get those under control and restrict more. Obviously that’s not what my BF would want to hear, but it’s what I’m thinking and so now I feel like I can’t share anything about this part of my life with him. Not that I want him to support my bad behaviors, but I would rather not have to hide and sneak from him. I wish I had never told him.
[Thinspo] Anyone know movies/TV shows with male/andro thinspo?
/u/just-a-mess [15M | bulimic in quasi recovery | 5'5" | 115.6]
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:28:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oc89m/anyone_know_moviestv_shows_with_maleandro_thinspo/
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As an ftm guy, I'd love to see some motivation of my gender, or even andronyous/non-binary people - though that's probably harder to come across.
Thanks!
[Discussion] DAE get really irritated after eating?
/u/Amoosedcow
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:22:11 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oc6mw/dae_get_really_irritated_after_eating/
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Like idk if this is just a “me” thing. Although it’s becoming more reoccurring especially around dinner. I guess I’m just mad over having to digest food?? Or the feeling of having anything sit in my stomach that isn’t liquid or saltine crackers.
I’m kinda lost on this tbh. I’d really appreciate if someone can relate.
Weekly Stats Update! October 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:13:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oc4l1/weekly_stats_update_october_15_2018/
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This is the weekly status thread for October 15, 2018.
The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome.
Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):
* Height:
* Current weight (CW):
* Highest weight (HW):
* Lowest weight (LW):
* Goal weight (GW):
* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):
* Weight lost (WL):
* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))
* Age:
* Gender expression:
Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:
* Height:
* CW:
* HW:
* LW:
* GW:
* UGW:
* WL:
* BMI:
* Age:
* Gender expression:
*****
Status threads are posted every Monday.
Have any questions or concerns? Comment below, or [PM the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)
Daily Food Diary! October 15, 2018
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:13:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oc4jo/daily_food_diary_october_15_2018/
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This is a daily food diary thread for October 15, 2018.
You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit.
A possible format:
* **Breakfast**
* **Lunch**
* **Dinner**
* **Snacks**
* **Total:**
For more daily discussion, join our discord server [here.](https://discord.gg/NTsGapV)
I can't restrict anymore??
/u/mayonezz
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:12:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oc44w/i_cant_restrict_anymore/
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I used to restrict 600-1000 (with 10hr/week at the gym) fine but now my body can't stand even high restriction.
To be fair Im bulimic so I have no idea what the actual calorie is. But even when I don't purge, I would be at 600kcal intake at 4pm and my body starts lose energy, get cold and skittish.
Like wtf body????? I'm only at bmi of 22 so just use my fat reserves???
I drink plenty of water and take multi-vitamin. I also eat (mostly) healthy and filling meals so I don't know what my problem is.
Apple is donating watches to 1,000 people who have experience with eating disorders
/u/HonestRaspberry
Created: Mon Oct 15 06:04:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oc28f/apple_is_donating_watches_to_1000_people_who_have/
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https://www.cnbc.com/2018/10/14/apple-is-donating-1000-watches-for-a-new-study-to-track-binge-eating.html
My two diary entries after spending the entire summer restricting.
/u/ThrowawayTAIU
Created: Mon Oct 15 05:36:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9obvgj/my_two_diary_entries_after_spending_the_entire/
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Some context: I'm a 17 year old girl and I've had (diagnosed) Bulimia Nervosa since I was 14. In the start of the summer something triggered me to start a heavy restriction cycle, and after a few months, these are my thoughts. If you like to read, let me know if you relate, or what you think, I'm really lonely and could use some socialization ❤️
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It's been a few weeks. Eight, ten, twelve, who knows? I simply stopped keeping track, because it doesn't matter. Everything is a blur, and I feel like I'm walking through hell. Time passes differently here. Most of the time, though, I can't even tell at what point I am in life. Am I drowning in the depths of my disorder, or hell as I call it, or am I actually doing completely fine and it's all in my head? Am I okay, or do I need help? I want out, but as they say, even hell gets comfy once you've settled in.
I stopped giving my body what it needs a while ago. I feel unworthy of anything that might be good for me, such as something as simple as food.
I'm a terrible person, and I truly
deserve all this pain I brought upon myself all these years ago.
I want to hurt myself. And I want that hurt to show. I want the attention, the worried looks, the kind, soft spoken and well intentioned people to come up to me and ask me if I'm okay. And I want to tell them how much I'm suffering, how I'm rotting from the inside out, how everything good I used to have has suddenly disappeared. But I would smile, thank them, tell them I've never felt better. And we both would know I'm lying, but neither of us care enough to change anything.
I don't know how much of myself has wasted away at this point. I still hear compliments. I'm skinny now, apparently, and that's a good thing. It's like everyone is clapping, watching me dig my own grave, telling me how gorgeous my illness looks on me. When I finally lay down in my casket to rest, they will try to pull me out. But by then, it will thankfully be too late. Because I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of so many restless nights worrying if I will look fat the next day, of the anxiety, depression, guilt and shame and everything that comes with being ill for years. I'll enough to feel death hovering over me, but not I'll enough to deserve help. Not yet. That's what I've been telling myself since everything began.
It will never be enough; let's face it.
I'm tired.
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I don't feel great today.
Actually, I feel disgusting in all possible ways. They tell me it's all in my head. I look fine.
But my brain is starved. I know that. I know that because I can't recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I see an enormous pig, standing right there. I try all kinds of poses to make myself feel better, but the reflection is always the same. Always something monstrous, disgusting, unworthy of living.
I wish my arms were the size of my forearms. I wish my forearms were the size of my wrists. I wish my thighs were the size of my calves. And I wish my calves were the size of my ankles.
That's how I spend my time, nowadays. Wishing away my body, my identity. Making myself disappear and rot just because I hate who I am.
Everything about me is a disgrace, and if I can't be smart, kind, and loveable, then I will be pretty. Dainty. Fragile. Sick. And finally, I will be death herself.
I don't see any of this getting better. On my last days, and when I'm finally gone, and when there's no more fat and muscle in my skeleton for me to pick at; I will be loved. I'll finally receive all the love I yearned for in my childhood and early teens. Call me an attention seeker. I just want to feel like my presence matters, for once.
Some people are not meant to be loved. Some people are destined to live a life filled with loneliness and depression and judgemental looks and whispers.
My life's going to end sooner, though. I've known that since I was ten. Life isn't for everyone. And almost eighteen years in, I think I've finally had enough.
My slow suicide started a while ago. And no one will stop me from achieving a so much needed relief.
We all need a break sometimes; I just want a permanent one.
Alternative to smoking?,
/u/HonestSpeak
Created: Mon Oct 15 05:27:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9obtne/alternative_to_smoking/
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On mobile, please flair as help.
Hey, so I've never smoked. Never plan on doing it either, by the way. My family already financially struggles, I don't need a nicotine addiction to make it worse. However, I hear about all the ways smoking makes starving easier, and I've been thinking about this.
Does anyone know a healthier alternative to smoking? Preferably one without nicotine?
If you have anything, please let me know! Thanks!
Changes in attitude over the past seven years
/u/mpjcx
Created: Mon Oct 15 04:53:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9obm54/changes_in_attitude_over_the_past_seven_years/
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So I've been dealing with ED-related thoughts and behaviours for the past seven or so years, ranging anywhere from severe restriction, binging, purging. Name an ED? I've probably dabbled in it somewhat.
I feel like back when I was a teenager, back when MPA was pratically my homepage, back when I kept a private tumblr for my ED (lol how 17yo of me), I felt like.. it was mine and only mine. Even though I was active in ED communities, irl I felt like I was the only one dealing with it and the only one who could ever understand. It was my secret, both a blessing and a curse.
I went to an all girls high school, and a few of my friends confided in me in suffering with EDs too. At the time I felt betrayed in a way. That sounds so weird to say, but I felt like.. My ED manifested itself in someone else and it wasn't just MINE anymore. I remember one night at a house party a close friend of mine broke down and told me that she was suffering with bulimia, and while I attempted to comfort her, deep down I was seething that she was suffering too. It pissed me off and I feel guilty for ever thinking that.
However, now that I'm (nearly) 24, I've realised that.. nearly everyone my age has dealt with disordered eating at some point during their lives. So many of my coworkers have, and still do. It feels so much easier to talk about and be honest and frank about it. I'll openly talk about fasting and restricting and how the numbers in my head fuck me up, lol. I almost think it's healthier too, in a way.. Maybe not, because it "normalises" it, but discussing my struggles in person, with people who I know can understand too, is like a weight off my chest. I've realised that over the course of the past seven years, my ED doesn't feel like a dark and scary secret anymore.
I don't know. This is a bit of a ramble, but I was curious to know if/how other people with long term EDs have changed in their attitudes.
[Rant/Rave] Being ugly AND fat is the worst
/u/miserablemei [Height: 5’1| CW: 154 |SW: 168| Female]
Created: Mon Oct 15 04:37:07 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9obiu9/being_ugly_and_fat_is_the_worst/
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It’s so frustrating for me to even want to lose weight because I’m so objectively unattractive. I’ve got a huge nose, very asymmetrical face, and hooded eyelids (ones way droopier than the other), and I’ve got frizzy bleach fried hair. Even when I was at my all time lowest weight (115), I still looked horrid. That being coupled with being super fat just sucks. Why am I even trying to lose weight when I’ll look disgusting in the end anyways? Sometimes I feel like it’s just a stupid effort and if I’m not pretty at the end I might just die trying right?
[Help] Stupid question: what can u eat during a fast?
/u/LynCross [152.5cm | BMI: 25.1| CW: 128.75 lbs |UGW: 101lbs |F ]
Created: Mon Oct 15 04:18:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9obf2b/stupid_question_what_can_u_eat_during_a_fast/
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I just binged so hard today bc I got stressed out. I still plan on going to the gym so I dont want to faint.
Can u take energy drink during a fast or stay with just water?
[Discussion] Having an ED while in food service Y/N?
/u/itszwee
Created: Mon Oct 15 03:48:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ob91c/having_an_ed_while_in_food_service_yn/
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Hey there! Anyone else on here currently or formerly in food service and have really, REALLY mixed feelings about food and their work environment?
Like, I can’t decide if I like food or hate it, if it’s more triggering to work in food service or not, if I’m even interested in the product I’m working with. The one consistent thing for me is that this internal dialogue monopolizes my thoughts.
I am throwing my scale out the mfkin window: me being dramatic
/u/-bluehoney- [5'3" | sw 187 | cw 169.4 | gw 120 | ƒ |🍑bluehoney]
Created: Mon Oct 15 03:46:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ob8ky/i_am_throwing_my_scale_out_the_mfkin_window_me/
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It has been four-five days. I have been eating at a heavy deficit. The scale refuses to tip below 168.5, and even goes up to 169.8 sometimes. That is scary close to 170 and if that happens I might die.
I started my period two days ago but usually water builds leading up to it and it kind of comes off once it actually starts.
The math is telling me I cannot be wrong about losing pounds here but?!? There they sit, right on my gut.
Whatever I better have a freaking good whoosh
[Rant/Rave] I want to watch porn or sexy images..
/u/gh0stgirlsadgirl
Created: Mon Oct 15 03:37:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ob6x6/i_want_to_watch_porn_or_sexy_images/
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But I spend the entire time comparing myself and I end up feeling like absolute shit. My body is ravaged from 14 years of this crap, inpatient, outpatient, gaining and losing and gaining and losing. I feel like I'll never be as cute as those girls, and its absolutely ruining my solo sex life. It's been weeks, if ya know what I mean. This sucks.
Struggle when watching porn
/u/gh0stgirlsadgirl
Created: Mon Oct 15 03:23:25 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ob4ch/struggle_when_watching_porn/
---
I cant stop comparing myself and I end up feeling awful. I dont know what to do, I kinda need images to ~get off~, and I enjoy looking at women, but they all seem so beautiful and my body is ravaged after 15 years in the game, plus BDD. This sucks.
[Discussion] dae log their binges under multiple days?
/u/lightningmcqueef69 [5'6" | lw 114.6lbs | currently not weighing | 18 | enby 💛]
Created: Mon Oct 15 03:08:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9ob1jz/dae_log_their_binges_under_multiple_days/
---
i use LoseIt and it gives me extreme anxiety to see the number go over my limit so if i eat more than i should i'll go back a few days and log it under a day i was actually fasting. oddly it also helps me see that i'm still not going over my weekly limit. like i binged yesterday but i fasted tues-sat and when i went over my sat/sun calories i started logging everything else under friday so i wouldn't have to see the number in red lol.
[Rant/Rave] Goodbye 19!
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Mon Oct 15 02:39:09 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oawcg/goodbye_19/
---
Just a little self complimenting. This is just such a great, supportive community that I wanted to share it with you guys.
I've been plateauing in the BMI 19's for about three weeks now (was 18.6 before that) and I honestly don't understand how that happened. I've had two binges in those three weeks, pretty close together and usually I'll lose like crazy afterwards. I don't know, it jump starts metabolism or something. Anyway, I've been hovering for a while now but this morning I've finally broken the 19 hurdle and am now at 18.8! 🎉
Perhaps I've been consuming too much sodium lately. I've noticed that water retention was all over the place; some days I've been going to the loo about every 15 minutes, sometimes hardly at all while I did keep drinking about 5 litres of water every day - minimum.
Anyway, I'm feeling great already! 17.9, here I come! 😎
3 days binge free!!
/u/misshomo
Created: Mon Oct 15 02:35:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oavl1/3_days_binge_free/
---
I know it seems like I'm over reacting, this is a pretty small accomplishment but BABY STEPS!! I usually binge every 2 days after restricting and I'm honestly sooo tempted rn. However I seriously need to break this cycle, it's so mentally exhausting watching my weight go up and down and being sooo far away from my goal weight. I'm starting at a BMI 25 and I really wanna get down to 20 by my birthday and 17 by January.
Motiviation Words
/u/BurningRealities
Created: Mon Oct 15 01:54:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oaoh4/motiviation_words/
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Sorry I know this is wierd but I really just need to hear some kind words. Small stuff like "you can do it!" Or "you're close to your goal!" Just really broad stuff. Skdjsjs i know it's stupid but I gained weight recently and I feel like shit. ✌
[Help] How do you guys burn a significant amount of calories in the gym?
/u/happy_but_unhappy [5'9 |CW 118.8 | 17.5 | GW 110]
Created: Mon Oct 15 01:35:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oalam/how_do_you_guys_burn_a_significant_amount_of/
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So.... I've only just realised the calories on the elliptical are WAY off from what I've actually been burning (finally got a heartrate tracker) fml. So an hour of cardio is burning like half what I thought... how do you guys do it?
[Other] New week, new life.
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 15 00:50:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oacu6/new_week_new_life/
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Good morning, all :3 Felt like just checking in on you lovelies. I was away for thursday-sunday on a trip and sort of binged away, and am therefore now SO READY to get back on track. My scales Said only 1,5 kilos (3 lbs?) over what I was before, and I am doing keto, so trusting that most of it is water weight...
It's super pretty autumn here up North, and I am in such a Good mood <3
[Other] New week, new life.
/u/Ednosonline [175 cm/5'9" | 65 kg/143,3 lbs | BMI 21,2 | -2 kg | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 15 00:49:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oactl/new_week_new_life/
---
Good morning, all :3 Felt like just checking in on you lovelies. I was away for thursday-sunday on a trip and sort of binged away, and am therefore now SO READY to get back on track. My scales Said only 1,5 kilos (3 lbs?) over what I was before, and I am doing keto, so trusting that most of it is water weight...
It's super pretty autumn here up North, and I am in such a Good mood <3
[Discussion] Birth Control Advice.
/u/losemore [5'10" | BMI 19.33 | -52.91lb | 22F]
Created: Mon Oct 15 00:38:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oaaoa/birth_control_advice/
---
I have recently started a relationship with a guy that I have been seeing for a few months. Since becoming “official” we had a discussion about what we would do for birth control and as nether of us like using condoms, I suggested I go on birth control.
The only thing is, I’m freaking out! I am pretty in sync with my body in terms of I bloat around the time my period is due etc and the unknown of how my body will react to birth control is scaring the shit out of me.
I have been on birth control in the past. Various pills, the injection and the implant at one time or another, but I was wanting to see if anybody had any suggestions as to what has worked for them? My biggest fear is water retention.
Where my single ladies at?
/u/im-nobody-too [CW: 109 lbs| GW: Maintain don't gain|26f]
Created: Mon Oct 15 00:10:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oa5cb/where_my_single_ladies_at/
---
Today I noticed a lot of posts talking about boyfriends/husbands, and it got me kind of sad because I am extremely single and giving up hope that there is a guy out there for me because
1) I am a depressed and moody bitch who scares people away
2) I am a needy bitch who needs constant affection and emotional support
3) I'm currently attracted to a guy who is def not the right guy for me but I'm too crazy about him to even notice anyone else
4) I'm super ugly
5) That fear that I'll get a guy but then I'll get fatter and he'll leave me for being gross
PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS
OR TELL ME HOW YOU ARE FINDING THESE MEN SO I CAN GET ME ONE
[Rant/Rave] Don’t tell everyone that you’re ‘trying to gain weight’ because when you do they congratulate you
/u/BlondeActually [Height 5’4 | CW 99-ish? | HW 125| LW 89| GW 86 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 23:55:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oa2bz/dont_tell_everyone_that_youre_trying_to_gain/
---
Earlier this year I was at a very low weight, and whenever anyone brought up concern I would tell them I’m trying ‘so hard to gain weight’ and that I have trouble eating etc etc to avoid suspicion.
It worked great. Or so I thought.
Since gaining 5-10 pounds (I’m too scared to check fml) people have been CONGRATULATING me on how ‘healthy’ I look and that I’ve ‘definitely’ gained weight. Obviously they mean it with best intentions as I clearly stated that my goal was to gain but fuck my life it hurts to hear it. At least it’s fuel to keep up with my restriction from now on.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
[Other] Fasting community
/u/4gotmyfuckinpassword [172cm | HW: 68kg | CW: 66kg | GW: 56kg | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 23:52:36 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oa1pd/fasting_community/
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[removed]
[Discussion] UGW plans? I can’t stop fantasizing about everything I want to do once I’m skinny
/u/piizza [5’4” | C129 | G110 | -15 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 23:50:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9oa18s/ugw_plans_i_cant_stop_fantasizing_about/
---
Tonight I hung out with my boyfriend’s cousin, who is TINY, gorgeous, and just an all-around wonderful person. I also love her style and I can’t wait to buy cute clothes like hers once I hit my UGW. She’s probably my number one thinspo right now.
I’m incentivizing myself with a number of things...I tell myself that the money I save on food gets to go toward fun things like:
• dyeing my hair
• dainty rings that fit on slimmer fingers
• dresses
• new jeans
• oversized sweaters
• makeup
• cute new glasses
What do you want to do when you hit your UGW?
I AM SO HAPPY WITH MYSELF
/u/BasicallyBelle [5'5 | CW 143 | GW 113]
Created: Sun Oct 14 23:19:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9uyb/i_am_so_happy_with_myself/
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So I just got a Phentermine prescription and I’ve just started it... I’ve fasted for 2 days WHILE doing three shows of The Rocky Horror Show!! I already loook and feel so much better. I’m sorry if this isn’t cool in the sub but I just wanted to share with people who understood!
[Rant/Rave] Why can't I just be consistent for once?!?
/u/aswerefallingdown
Created: Sun Oct 14 23:03:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9rl2/why_cant_i_just_be_consistent_for_once/
---
I jump between overeating and eating nothing *a lot*. Which means I'm constantly stuck at the same weight. I know what it takes to lose weight -- consistency. But I keep bouncing back and forth between the two. I always go "well I'm not losing weight fast enough, maybe I should just fast?" and it bounces back at me. Or I lose control and I overeat everything. I'm so close to not being overweight anymore and yet I do this to myself. I hate myself so much.
[Rant/Rave] I love being shamed publicly for my food choices!!!
/u/motenashite [5"1 | CW: 121lb| GW: 100lb | HW: 160lb | 22F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:43:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9mvs/i_love_being_shamed_publicly_for_my_food_choices/
---
So my boyfriend wanted to go to eat dinner tonight—I’m high restricting and intermittent fasting, so NBD, I’ll go out with him and keep him company. He’s great because he’s super into fitness and trendy things like IF and keto makes total sense to him, so he’d never pressure me to eat when I tell him my eating window is over. :) —even though it’s more like 36:1 at this point LOL
I order a diet coke for myself while he has ramen. The waiter taking my order has no issue with this.
The waiter bringing my boyfriend his food? Loudly, obnoxiously, directed to me, “Are you not going to order ramen?”
I just took a long sip of my diet coke and now I’m going to see if I can push myself to 42:1 this week out of sheer spite.
[Rant/Rave] Gym triggered me this morning so I ate a cake when I got home shit
/u/LynCross [152.5cm | BMI: 25.1| CW: 128.75 lbs |UGW: 101lbs |F ]
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:43:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9mul/gym_triggered_me_this_morning_so_i_ate_a_cake/
---
My mum bought me a gym membership about 4 months ago because my weight was reaching obesity. I only went once a week for 2 months until I had to go back to Uni. This was the time when I was focusing on " The healthy way of losing weight" which obviously didn't work.
Fast forward to now, everybody has been commenting on my weight loss. I saw my old ID photo there (it's a "slimmers gym" if you guys know the place) and I look freaking disgusting. I lived like that?
Anyway, I had this body composition test and they told me my basal metabolism rate is 1000kcal, really low for an average person- thus triggered me because I've been restricting 500kcal a day so wtf?? You mean to tell me my body is that shit? No wonder I don't lose weight as much I want. Fuck. You mean to tell me that I'm barely making a dent on my calories?
This made me really sad and angry, I'm considering fasting but I plan to workout consistently this break, so I need a bit of energy.
I just got home and ate my mum's leftover bday cake...god..I dont know what to do.
A Stream of Consciousness Essay
/u/MiauMiau1919
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:38:53 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9lyx/a_stream_of_consciousness_essay/
---
Hopefully this doesn't violate any rules. I thought it was a good snapshot of what my eating disorder thoughts are like, and maybe you guys would appreciate it, too. My sense of humor is really odd, though, I'll warn you.
So, my friend had to write a journal reflection for a class about this project they were given to stand in front of the mirror and "affirm" themselves every morning for a week. She was having trouble coming up with anything, so I decided to dictate a fictional response. That response is what follows:
​
>Well \[Professor's name\], usually in the morning my routine is awakening to the beautiful strains of my friend John singing (he’s making an album after all, and is something of a talent if I do say so myself.) After I punch the Snooze a few times, I crawl out of bed by which I mean leap over the side and thump on the floor of the bedroom, much alarming my bunkmate and anyone who may be below me in the house. Then I go for my morningly shower, which I take in the bathroom. Usually, this is a great time to impulsively pick at my skin, and especially the scabs, and to also hypercritically view my naked body in the mirror, often mentally insulting myself, then I shower.
>
>Upon getting out of the shower, I repeat the first bit with more hypercritical, uh, you know. But because of this *beautiful assignment*, in addition to picking my skin and calling myself a fat cow, I also have taken to complimenting myself. Of course it feels very forced and disingenuous, saying things like *"maybe you're not as disgusting as you think"*, or *"because you wear such clothing, people can't tell that you’re covered in scabs and kinda flabby. Y’know, this may be a particularly disgusting specimen of the human species, but at least my hair isn't so bad, kinda blonde and somewhat wavy. People like that, I think"*. Upon further reflection I see that all of this is still judging my self worth based on others perception of my attractiveness. *C’est la vie*.
>
>But it’s like I say to myself in the morning to compliment myself because of this assignment, “it could be worse. I could be *actually* fat, and not just insecure. Like my sisters-in-law.”
>
>Sometimes I go as far as to say, “I also have a good personality,” until I realize that’s a complete lie. Self-deception, I think, is the worst kind of deception. Because if you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?
>
>Then I say, “at least I have a good sense of humor.” But it could just be that people laugh at my jokes so they don’t realize that they hate me. Their smiles are masking secondhand embarrassment at my feeble attempts at jokes.
>
>I tried moving on to more neutral things which really aren’t something to be complimented for, but I thought that maybe it would still make me feel better about myself.
>
>So I was like, well, “You’re from Wisconsin!” But that just made me think about cheese, which made me think about being fat again. Once, in true Wisconsin fashion, I went to Culver’s with some friends and we ordered about two pounds of cheese curds and milkshakes. Luckily I, unlike one of my companions, am not lactose intolerant. Also unlike my companions, I’m luckily not actually fat, just insecure.
​
[Rant/Rave] i ate like 4 lbs of food yesterday. now i have three fat rolls instead of the two i had before. hahaha i want to fucking kill myself
/u/fatass_1
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:33:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9kt7/i_ate_like_4_lbs_of_food_yesterday_now_i_have/
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im crying is it even possible to gain 4 lbs in a day? what the fuck. i dont even have winter clothes to cover my fat, disgusting stomach yet. fuck my life. if it werent so dangerous i'd just cut the fat off my stomach and everywhere else right off ngl. even my chin too. everything is so squishy i hate myself so fucking much
[Other] Yeah so...
/u/TinyLittleStars66
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:25:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9ith/yeah_so/
---
I think I’m just gonna lurk from now on. Consider me dead to the community cause I’m always gonna piss somebody off... don’t message me, don’t expect me to post anymore, don’t expect me to up or downvote.. wish you all the best and stay safe and all that jazz gonna miss y’all but theres just so much backlash from trying to be a supportive person here. I never should have tried in the first place...
[Discussion] Guys...college has changed my life
/u/eggheck [5'3"|SW: 128lbs|CW: 118 |GW: 95|Male]
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:14:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9gk6/guyscollege_has_changed_my_life/
---
You know the term “freshman 15,” referring to the weight someone gains when they go to college and have the freedom to eat whatever?
It’s been the opposite for me and I couldn’t be happier. Back home I was forced to eat 3 meals a day and I would heavily restrict and exercise myself into oblivion just to not gain weight.
Now, I’m doing 18/6 intermittent fasting, 1000 calorie limit a day, and exercise for an hour every other day (run 4 miles)
1000 calories is enough to make me not binge (I usually don’t hit 1000 but seeing that “340 calories left” marker is really encouraging) and I feel like I’m actually making progress and I can feel myself getting smaller. I feel like im loosing weight in a healthier way and I’m SO GLAD I’m not living at home anymore.
Life still sucks and my ED sucks and my dysphoria sucks and I have no money but at least I’m actually loosing weight.
Binged for a week, then ran 8 miles fasted
/u/lemonbasilthyme [5'3" | 93 lbs | 16.5 BMI | GW: 89 lbs | 29F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:11:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9fmg/binged_for_a_week_then_ran_8_miles_fasted/
---
As the title would indicate, I lost my mind this week: I found myself under a lot of stress, acutely sleep-deprived, and temporarily out of control of my schedule (read: eating/exercising routine). From last Sunday to Friday, I averaged 1900 kcal/day. No purging, no real compensating, only squeezed in a 1.5-mile run on the treadmill.
The day my work meetings finished, I hit 2487 kcal and started to seriously consider whether I might die from gastric rupture or a bowel obstruction. I know that's a bit ridiculous, but I do have an inflammatory bowel disease, so my GI tract really doesn't need any extra stress.
Binge foods of choice: grapes (in totally obscene amounts); popcorn (a whole box, that's *three* microwave bags, of the plain air-popped kind liberally doused in salt plus a Tbsp olive oil per bag); thin brown rice cakes and sunflower seed butter; apples; and whole cans of chickpeas dry-roasted with, again, a shitload of salt. -- \[What's notable about this is that I was craving nearly lethal amounts of salt, plus endless carbs... which would have made sense, as my period would have been due if it were following its usual schedule. However, I haven't menstruated in three months and apparently missed it again this time, too.\]
I went from 93 to 97 lbs in about five days. This scared me. Not the weight, but the insatiable hunger. My stomach felt like it might explode and yet I still wanted to just mindlessly eat. This is such a switch from my previous sense of appetite and state of mind, I couldn't figure out *why* it was happening. I've been basically maintaining for six weeks, not exercising too much, not starving. And suddenly out of nowhere I'm just this ravenous beast?
​
So, my weight's back down to 93.7 lbs. I definitely gained about a pound of pure fat. I managed to run 8 miles today, and I've only had 1000 kcal total intake this weekend. I feel a lot better and obviously I'm glad the insane hunger demon went away... but this feels way more disordered than before. The control is back, but it makes me feel uneasy. I'm not sure I trust it? Like today on my run, I kept feeling this pain in my leg that was telling me to stop -- I could have easily done 9 miles, but I actually forced myself to stop at 8... I don't want that to happen with food. I don't want to restrict until I binge again.
I guess I just needed to vent. But also I'm curious if anyone else has experienced ridiculous salt cravings? And why, oh why, can I not eat apples or grapes without bingeing on them anymore...
[Help] How to unlearn the feeling that any eating is a "binge"
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:135|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:10:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9ffo/how_to_unlearn_the_feeling_that_any_eating_is_a/
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(I have struggled with actual bingeing, up to 10k calories at a time.)
Tonight I ate some cauliflower rice and broth, and then a little while later ate some leftover spaghetti from the fridge. So around 550 calories for the day total. And I still feel guilty in the same way I do after a binge. My brain is telling me that I just binged. How do I get over this?
[Other] Felt like you guys could relate lol
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Sun Oct 14 22:03:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o9dpr/felt_like_you_guys_could_relate_lol/
---
https://i.redd.it/mqa89gvxw9s11.jpg
[Thinspo] Why is thinspo so FU***** sexualized and unrealistic!?
/u/maybenot1212 [H: 6'1 | CW: 164 | BMI: 21.64 | WL: 15+ | M]
Created: Sun Oct 14 21:24:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o94he/why_is_thinspo_so_fu_sexualized_and_unrealistic/
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A body that can't be more than high school age all thin yet somehow lacking any definition of tendons, you can't see the muscle beneath. Deathly underweight yet somehow curvy and doesn't have boy hips and still has full breasts, and a rounded face. Thigh-highs, pink girly bows, lingerie, and curvy.
Why?!! Do you guys find that type of thinspo useful and motivating?
[Discussion] I kinda want to tell my friends.
/u/armheartbrain
Created: Sun Oct 14 21:04:51 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8zm3/i_kinda_want_to_tell_my_friends/
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I am really considering telling one of my best friends that I am bulimic. We live far away from each other, so we really only talk online. But we talk every day. I just am not sure if this would be unfair. Like. I don't think there is anything they can do to help me. I kinda just want someone to know. And understand more about me. But. I don't know. When there is really nothing he can do to help me, I wonder if I am just putting unneeded stress on someone else. Idk. I have been thinking about it for a while and don't know what to do.
[Help] OMAD in college?
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Sun Oct 14 20:37:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8sl3/omad_in_college/
---
Is this difficult to do? Easy? What are people’s experiences?
Also... does OMAD work if you have just dinner and maybe two small (very small, like 50-100 cal) snacks throughout the day? Or is the whole point of OMAD that it’s fasting except for one meal?
New to the whole OMAD thing... sorry for dumb qs!
[Rant/Rave] Make up your damn mind people
/u/ManWithTheHands [6'5" | HW-333 CW-242 GW-220 | 26.68 (so close) | -92 | 19M]
Created: Sun Oct 14 20:19:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8o0a/make_up_your_damn_mind_people/
---
It's funny how before I was losing weight, eating barely anything was "admirable" and I had "such good self control" and now that I'm just fat, instead of morbidly obese, people are constantly trying to get me to over eat again. Fuck you. Plain and simple.
I now realize why I was always the fat kid, my family does shit like order pizza what feels like constantly, and never did anything about me eating most of it myself. Now, when I refuse to eat the shit they buy, I'm made to feel like shit for it, despite it being most of the reason I feel suicidal when i do.
[Rant/Rave] my dad makes me want to push myself even more
/u/glitt3rdb1tch
Created: Sun Oct 14 20:16:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8ngr/my_dad_makes_me_want_to_push_myself_even_more/
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he’s fat and i hate him. sometimes i pray that he’ll just die. he’s not even that fat but the way he eats disgusts me. every night i get horribly drunk and he tells me it’s bad but all i can think about is his gross eating habits. i hate it and watching people eat like that is fucking disgusting and makes me extremely angry. i can’t even describe how mad it makes me. it really pushes me to not want to eat even more. it’s been one day more than a week since i ate and i just want to keep going because he disgusts me
Male models
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Sun Oct 14 20:09:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8lic/male_models/
---
https://m.imgur.com/r/proed/vUlKJ
THE WOOSH IS A LIE
/u/KajaIsForeverAlone [height:5'9 | CW: 135 BMI:20 | weight lost:25 lbs | Gender: F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 19:54:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8hmg/the_woosh_is_a_lie/
---
FUCK! So I literally haven't eaten in weeks and kept anything down, was at a solid 129 lbs. And I ate, expecting one of those wooshes you guys talk so much about and NOW I'M AT 133
FUCKING KILL ME
[Rant/Rave] DAE tell themselves they must be really constipated when they feel bloated??
/u/ihate-chicken [5’7” | CW:114 | 17.8 |]
Created: Sun Oct 14 19:51:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8h03/dae_tell_themselves_they_must_be_really/
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Like when I know I’ve probs eaten more than I should (which has been this whole weekend), I tend to just try and justify it to myself as “oh I’m so constipated and that’s why I’m bloated and weigh more”
I’m hoping I’m right or I’m in for a rude awakening :/
[Help] Should I buy free weights
/u/citrus_juuiice
Created: Sun Oct 14 19:41:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8egx/should_i_buy_free_weights/
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I get bored of cardio and figured I could do exercises with the weights for toning. What kinda exercises do you do with free weights?
Can you destroy your sense of hunger by restricting?
/u/duvet_cavern
Created: Sun Oct 14 19:34:34 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8cwl/can_you_destroy_your_sense_of_hunger_by/
---
I haven't felt hungry in a long time. I thought maybe it was all the weed I was smoking but now I'm not so sure as even weed doesn't make me feel hungry anymore. Maybe it's because I restrict somehow? DAE experience this?
I didn't really think about how weird that was til people at work started commenting on my packed lunches (which I don't actually eat much of anyway) saying stuff like "Oh wow, I'd be starving if that were my lunch". I'm now freaking out that people are onto my unusual eating habits but also this made me think "Oh yeah, I guess it is kinda unusual that you can go two days without eating and not feel hungry". I don't often think about how fucked up my eating habits must seem to other people... I always thought I'd enjoy having people commenting on how little I eat but really I'm just like "NO ONE MUST FIND OUT!"
[Other] A lame poem.
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Sun Oct 14 19:31:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8c2b/a_lame_poem/
---
Erasure
Picking at bones. The only vulture is me.
What is left when the flesh runs out?
Devour, decay, disappear.
I'll have to wait and see.
Days became years became decades.
This twisted dance with the mirror.
In and out becomes up and down
And I brush away the fear.
I am dying faster than you.
You cannot follow me where I am going
Watching rabbits with pocket watches chasing time.
Where the ultimate sign of strength and resolve
Is to sign your name and resign.
Devour, decay, disappear.
Total Erasure
I’m happy that y’all found out about the fat free whipped cream and all...
/u/ThorsHammock
Created: Sun Oct 14 19:11:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o8758/im_happy_that_yall_found_out_about_the_fat_free/
---
But now it’s sold out of every grocery store in my area 😒
Calories in Chickpeas?
/u/dirrkdigglerr
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:46:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o80le/calories_in_chickpeas/
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Just ate a cup of roasted chickpeas seasoned w/ cinnamon and cumin, so good. The can says it should only be 269 cals for a cup but some online sources say a cup of chickpeas is over 700 calories ☠️ does anyone have a better idea of what I should log this as?
[Tip] Sugar free fudge sauce recipeee
/u/PhoneWalletSanity [156cm/5'1.5| 100 lbs| 19.4| 18F| Exploring Recovery]
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:41:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7zc6/sugar_free_fudge_sauce_recipeee/
---
Okay so I caught feelings for a guy who I'm pretty sure is just using me for nudes (wowee, what a surprise) so I needed to fix myself by dipping my soft pretzel in fudge sauce.
Cue Sunday afternoon kitchen magic. NB: I totally eyeballed the measurements so don't want to give a calorie count but I'm pretty good at guessing the amounts I put in.
I mixed about 1/3 cup water with another 1/3 cup no cal granulated sweetner, 1-2 tbsp cocoa, a pinch of salt and a pinch of cinnamon and brought it to a gentle boil over medium heat.
Then added a tsp of margarine (I don't buy butter but you could use that too), swirled the pot to mix it in and then let the whole thing reduce for another five minutes.
It was still a little runny at the end so I whisked in a tbsp (ish) of rice flour which thickened it up super nicely.
Guys and gals... this shit literally tastes just like fudge and that whole recipe made like half a cup for probably less than 100 calories.
I fully intend on scaling up the recipe/using proper measurements and jarring it to keep in my fridge and put on ice cream/dip fruit in/eat with a spoon because I'm disgusting.
To make it like the magic shell stuff on soft serve, just substitute the margarine for coconut oil. Though I'm pretty sure you'd have to use a lot more.
[Discussion] Website that tells you when you’ll reach your GW
/u/Disputeanocean
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:40:23 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7z63/website_that_tells_you_when_youll_reach_your_gw/
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I’ve seen a website someone posted on here and it tells you when you should be what weight if you consume X calories. I can’t remember the site and googling it isn’t giving me what I need. Thanks xx.
[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend appreciation post
/u/art_istical [5'5| 98| 16.3| 17 lbs lost | female]
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:38:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7ypm/boyfriend_appreciation_post/
---
Guys I adore this boy. We've been dating barely 2 months but it's my first healthy and happy relationship (and his too actually). I mean we're both kids so it's yanno. But a n y w a y. I don't really talk about my ED, but i don't hide it at all. Like I say things such as "I barely ate today and idk if i can eat more" or "today felt ok and i ate a good amount" oooor "I've barely eaten in days and i feel like death". It's not usually purposeful, i just feel very comfortable and it slips out. And he just... Is... Great about it? I think partially because he works at a therapy center. And also the fact that he also has issues eating enough. He tries but just really struggles and he's incredibly underweight. So like we talk about food sometimes and relate, like when he forgets to eat and then eats 4 days worth of food in a day (which I've done too) and how he feels the same grossness and distended stomach and all that. It's insanely refreshing. And he's so so supportive and let's me go on about the calories in foods and how i make my food so I'll eat more and stay healthier and like you guys don't understand how refreshing it is to have such a normal conversation, feel safe, supported, and understood.
He worries a lot obviously but instead of pressuring me to eat he just waits for me to be ready and then encourages me to eat enough. Which is perfect for me because i cant handle being pushed to eat, but when I'm ready I'll eat way more if i feel comfortable yanno. And the other night i was talking about how I was so glad i was able to eat a bit more the last few days without feeling horrible and he actually exclaimed out loud and grabbed me and was like "OH MY GOD I AM SO SO SO PROUD. LIKE SO PROUD OF YOU YOU'RE AMAZING" and just held me for like 4 minutez without talking. I mean we were both a little bit high and drunk but it was SUCH an experience!! And he always puts his hands around my wrist and ankles and is like "wow babe you're so tiny" which honestly makes me feel like i can eat a bit more because I'm being seen as tiny so as long as i don't gain I'll be ok.
So like he enables the ED in some ways while being incredibly encouraging of me eating more and my happiness being sustained. And A L S O I haven't had a scale in weeks and have had no way to get one without my mom being suspicious. He knows it was a huge source of anxiety because when i go to his house I mention how much better i feel about eating when i can weigh myself (and monitor weight gain/loss) so he offered to order me a scale (like a really nice one) and it'll be here in a week and honestly it makes me feel so much calmer and i haven't felt manic or anxious since he ordered it because I know it's coming.
This relationship doesn't even feel real... I mean we talk about everything normal in life, and everything abnormal in our minds, and I'm finally starting to deal with the issues i have regarding relationships and oh my god I dont expect a single person to read this through because it's just me pouring my thoughts out for the sole purpose of having them out in the world. But I'm feeling great despite a bit of a bingey weekend and i really hope you all are doing fabulous heading into this new week 💛💛
[Rant/Rave] Stealth level: anorexic
/u/linedryonly [5'5| C127 | G110 | L102 | -10]
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:38:24 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7ymz/stealth_level_anorexic/
---
Spent the weekend with a long-time friend and managed to eat only one meal in 3 days:
Day one: Met her after work said I already ate an early dinner. Avoided eating at all.
Day two: Had a busy morning and ended up at McDonalds for a late lunch. I haven't eaten anything from there in years and was internally freaking out. She made me get a large fry but I compensated by secretly ordering a Diet Coke and eating slowly. By the time we were going for dinner, I casually mentioned my inability to eat after 6pm due to heartburn. Managed OMAD at 750 cals without her even noticing.
Day three: Woke up late but had lots to do before heading out. Something at home came up so I had to duck out before Lunch. Did not eat at all.
​
I was so anxious about this weekend because I love my friend and didn't want to blatantly refuse food, but also couldn't handle eating with her (she is obese and has really disorganized eating habits). On the one hand, I feel terrible for lying to her. But on the other hand, I'm really proud of myself for having a great weekend with my friend and avoiding a total breakdown over food.
​
EDIT: Don't worry, I didn't force her to starve with me. I just found tactful ways to not eat while she was eating.
[Discussion] Is anyone else unable to purge...?
/u/hamaesa [5'5|CW:105|LW: 87|GW: 97|F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:37:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7yfj/is_anyone_else_unable_to_purge/
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I have been dealing with an ED for about six years now. In that time, I have had countless binges, sometimes to the point where I feel absolutely sick, but no matter what I stick down my throat, it won't come out. Sure, I gag, but my stomach never gives anything up. I'm not exactly looking for advice, I'm just wondering if this is common. People on here are always posting about purging, and I'm like... How tho? Sorry for the stupid post.
[Rant/Rave] Petition to ban the word “thicc” as a descriptor of anything
/u/MightyMuskrats [🐝5'2 | 🐋 | GW 115 | -17 | 22F🐝]
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:22:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7umf/petition_to_ban_the_word_thicc_as_a_descriptor_of/
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Y’all. Idk why, maybe I’m just a sensitive little baby, but just hearing/seeing the word “thicc” honestly triggers me harder than anything else. Why is it a trend? Does anyone actually aim to be considered this? It’s just a nice way of calling someone overweight? Like, either way if you’re calling me “thicc” you’re saying I’m objectively not thin so like it’s def not a complement no matter how much you try to convince me it is.
Background: I am objectively overweight due to a depressive episode that went hand in hand with a binge cycle, have been struggling tons w/ my self image and eating habits and trying to handle it all. I have been called “thicc” by my boyfriend and I KNOW he means well and claims he loves me the way I am (my brain says that’s a lie) but honestly every time he says it it just hurts so badly.
I just like, don’t get it. Does anyone actually like being called thicc? Why on earth did it become a ~thing~????
[Rant/Rave] Vegans unite! Another low cal option!
/u/rotting_the_crown [5’5 | CW 128 | GW 110 | 21.3 | -13 lb | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:19:40 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7tv5/vegans_unite_another_low_cal_option/
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https://i.redd.it/npx601v1t8s11.jpg
Why do I always look fat in pictures?!
/u/vatrume
Created: Sun Oct 14 18:01:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7oy9/why_do_i_always_look_fat_in_pictures/
---
Do I just not know how to pose or is it the body dysmorphia or what? Seriously, even at my lowest clearly underweight BMI I look like a big ol’ fatty in pictures. I have friends who I know have a solid 20+ pounds on me and they manage to look thin in every picture they take. Me? I just look fat, wide, and chunky always. UGH.
If you know how to do a skinny pose tell me cuz I keep getting triggered af with pictures, no matter how often I’m told I’m tiny IRL.
[Rant/Rave] I was at Topshop today...
/u/thecalcographer [5'4 | CW: 105-107 | UGW: 94 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 17:55:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7nl8/i_was_at_topshop_today/
---
And I found this pair of jeans that looked so so so so tiny. So I started talking to my friend all like “who could possibly be small enough to wear these? That’s ridiculous.” And then I realised that the pair I was looking at were actually a size up from my size... and my size fit me. Body dysmorphia is so strange.
he doesn’t get it.
/u/kaleidoshock_
Created: Sun Oct 14 17:39:57 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7joa/he_doesnt_get_it/
---
My boyfriend (28/m) doesn’t understand ED whatsoever. We’ve been dating for about 3 months and I didn’t tell him until about a month in because he kept getting frustrated with me for not eating/never being hungry. (Maybe not frustrated exactly, definitely concerned though.) Since then, he’s helped me a lot with feeling more comfortable with food. But sometimes he makes comments that make me absolutely hate myself.
The other day we went for pizza at a place that makes small personal pizzas. I ate like half of mine, and boxed the rest up to take it home. I snacked on the other half throughout the day and ended up finishing it around 9pm. I ate more than I normally do but I wasn’t upset or panicking. My boyfriend exclaimed “Wow babe! You ate an entire pizza today!”
My heart stopped. My stomach churned. I started to shake and hyperventilate a little. I said “wow, thanks.” And just kinda sat there. Staring off into space. Thinking about how badly I wanted to purge. He kinda frowned and was like “awwwwww baaaabe” and apologized. Then he told me that he forgets sometimes because I “act so normal about it”. Like yeah dude sorry I’m trying to recover.
Anyways. Is there anything I can do or say to help him understand? I know he feels bad and he’ll never truly understand what it’s like but I want to prevent these incidents in the future.
I Ate a Normal Amount of Food and Now I Hate Myself
/u/OpalMagnus
Created: Sun Oct 14 17:36:41 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7iug/i_ate_a_normal_amount_of_food_and_now_i_hate/
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So yesterday and today I ate 1230 calories and 1200 respectively. I tried to pretend I was okay with that, but I’m not. It’s really bothering me.
I’m trying to just ignore it and not eat for the rest of the week. Or ever.
"I'm just gonna eat this and not purge it afterwards"
/u/feellikegucci [5'2 | 18 F | cw: 141lbs | 25.6 | gw: 88lbs | -17lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 14 17:24:16 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7fkw/im_just_gonna_eat_this_and_not_purge_it_afterwards/
---
And then proceed to do it afterwards anyway cause the guilty is overbearing. DAE play themselves like this? It's the third time today and I'm tired.
[Other] Anyone else's weight issues stem from f*cking hormonal problems?
/u/xoxwoe
Created: Sun Oct 14 17:19:55 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7efd/anyone_elses_weight_issues_stem_from_fcking/
---
Ok so I have Polycystic Ovarian Syrdome (was properly diagnosed with an ultrasound when I was 16 - I'm 20 now, but was dealing with it's symptoms ever since my first period at 11. Once I got my first period I didn't get another for about 8 months and ever since my second I'd get them 2-3 times a month with extremely heavy bleeding and painful cramps, I wouldn't be able to go to school from the bleeding or the pain. Every time I visited my GP my mum would ask me to refer to a specialist (I live in New Zealand you need a GP referral for a specialist visit) but my GP's pride got in the way and she'd just trial birth control after birth control on me, none of which worked out but fucked with my hormones and made my periods last longer and get more painful. But anyway she eventually sent me to have an ultrasound when I was 16 and that's when I was diagnosed with PCOS and also that month I was having the worst bleeding of my life, I bled for 15 days straight and in order to stop it my GP prescribed me with really high doses of hormone pills which not only didn't help my bleeding but also caused me to vomit every time I ate for just over 2 weeks. Despite not being able to keep food down very well the hormone tablets made me gain weight like crazy, I'm 5 ft and weighed 45 kg prior to the hormone pills but within that month my weight went up to 60 kg. But anyway, no matter how hard I worked out the weight wouldn't go back down. My GP put me on the pill Ginette which didn't help with the pain or bleeding but did somewhat regulate my periods so I wouldn't end up bleeding multiple times a month.
Due to a number of occasions where this GP was incompetent my family ended up changing to a different clinic last year and I started visiting the campus doctor at university, he was very understanding of my problems and also found a pill for me that's actually helpful (Cerazette) - I've been on it for a year and it's stopped my periods, he said that during the first 6 months there is a chance I'll gain weight from it but after that the weight gain will stop and I'll be able to start losing weight again after that.
After a long struggle with my periods and going through immense weight gain I've finally started to lose weight again. I just needed to get all of this off my chest.
Fuck this fucking illness.
/u/TrashcanDarling [28F | 5'4" | 15.2]
Created: Sun Oct 14 17:06:38 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o7awf/fuck_this_fucking_illness/
---
I’m so, so tired of anorexia. I’ve been struggling with eating disorders since my early teens and was diagnosed with anorexia with bulimic symptoms at age 18. I’ve had my ups and downs since then, including hospitalization, inpatient and outpatient treatment. Nothing helped me recover completely. The last time I was inpatient I was 22, and I checked myself out before being fully weight restored. Probably stupid of me. I’ve basically been a “functioning anorexic” since then, terrified of gaining weight and refusing to get up to a normal BMI, but I’ve managed to stay between BMI 16-16.5. However, the past months I’ve relapsed and here we fucking are. I don’t really have any options for treatment at the moment, and even so – I don’t think I’m motivated enough for it, despite being worried.
I know this disorder can be deadly and lately I’ve been almost ready to accept that it will get me eventually. I just can’t seem to get rid of it. I was recently in hospital for a few days due to dehydration because I was restricting my fluids due to not wanting to feel “bloated”. I also have a slow heart rate. I KNOW what I’m doing is dangerous, and yet I want to continue losing weight. I keep telling myself that I’ll be okay once I reach my “goal weight” but we all know that is bullshit and I won’t feel happy about it at all, and I’ll be in a worse condition that I am now. But anorexia’s yelling is impossible to ignore. I feel like I’m in a toxic relationship.. with myself. I want to get away from this monster, but how the hell do you escape a monster who lives inside of you?
I don’t want to die. But it’s too easy to think that I won’t die. Someone else maybe, but not me. And then I remember that to everyone else, *I* am “someone else”.
Fuck this shit. I’m sick of being sick.
[Discussion] DAE Find Snapchat filters super triggering?
/u/WearyFinish
Created: Sun Oct 14 17:00:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o793x/dae_find_snapchat_filters_super_triggering/
---
Seeing my face morph from cuter back to normal (fat) to freaky as I scroll through filters really bugs me out
Sick of BED.
/u/conuretrash [5'3.5''| 20 F | CW 148 | GW 115| -42 |]
Created: Sun Oct 14 16:59:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o78vu/sick_of_bed/
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I caNT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!! I hate binging!!! I hate it. I really want to just die. I'm so tempted but my sister would be upset. I can't take this I hate being so fat. I want to die.
[Help] Tingling in arms and legs?
/u/SemicolonButterfly
Created: Sun Oct 14 16:45:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o75ck/tingling_in_arms_and_legs/
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So I’m going to make an appointment with my primary care doc but I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this...
During and especially immediately after intense workouts I experience tingling in my hands radiating up to my elbows and in my feet radiating up the back of my legs to my knees. I’m assuming it’s a nutrient deficiency of some sort but Googling hasn’t been very enlightening. It’s worsening and I’m getting pretty worried. Never experienced this before, even at my LW.
[Rant/Rave] You know your BED relapse is bad when UberEats disables your account.
/u/berumotto
Created: Sun Oct 14 16:35:35 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o72o4/you_know_your_bed_relapse_is_bad_when_ubereats/
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No, I’m not scamming someone else’s credit card. I’m just choosing to spend $60 on food in the course of about 4 hours ‘cause I’m a binge-eating fiend when I get like this. I guess it’s a blessing in disguise...
I've never been diagnosed but struggled off and on since age 13.
/u/sarakerosene
Created: Sun Oct 14 16:25:01 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6zs4/ive_never_been_diagnosed_but_struggled_off_and_on/
---
I've never been diagnosed because my behaviors would come and go and I never lost enough weight to be concerned about. Until this year. I used to have EDNOS with BED tendencies but I would purge sometimes too. Not regularly enough to avoid weight gain.
Beginning of this year I got really mixed up with some drugs, and went broke. Both things caused me to lose weight unintentionally. But I took it and ran with it and now I'm down almost 50 pounds since Jan. Losing to the 50lb mark will actually put me in a normal BMI for the first time in my teen/adult life. Probably the first time since I was a young child.
How I *wish* I had reached this weight a healthy way. But I'll take what I get. I'm diabetic so weighing less is good no matter how you get there right?
Hi can we NOT tell people who are healthy to "be careful" eating over 74 calories?
/u/AbjectRepresentative [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sun Oct 14 16:23:46 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6zfe/hi_can_we_not_tell_people_who_are_healthy_to_be/
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Referencing [this comment](http://imgur.com/a/30pHDeA). I get it. We all want to be thin, most of us underweight, and we are fueled by a mental illness. But do we really need to be spooking healthy people on their completely normal intake? This comment was posted by a proed user on 1200isplenty and it really pissed me off. Why should OP be careful? Of what, 200 calories, which someone on a 1200 calorie diet can easily fit in by slightly truncating their later meals? Or maybe it's their breakfast. But *why* are we enforcing our DISORDERED habits on others? We're not right. Eating disorders have a huge mortality rate. Statistically, 1/5 of this sub might die from our illness. So can we not try to be the authority on health for others? It's honestly kinda fucked up.
[Help] How to successfully lose weight fasting for permanent weight loss [Need Advice]
/u/wethail [5’3”| 129.8 | 23.0 | vegan| F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 16:12:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6wgp/how_to_successfully_lose_weight_fasting_for/
---
Hello gorgeouses,
I’ve lost 10 pounds this week. Read more, this is bad (what??)
I started OMAD three days ago but on the second day I went to a haunted house instead of dinner and still haven’t broken my fast. I’m going for 42 hours since I’m already at 39.
My guess is most of it is water weight that my carb consumption was causing me to hold on to, and I’ll gain most of this weight back. It worries me that more weight comes back the more aggressive the weight was lost. How can I make my weight loss last?
I’m at 22.4 BF% and 123.4 pounds 5’3”. I updated my flair like 3 days ago and it’s so off.
I don’t feel hungry. I don’t feel weak or dizzy. I have sodium potassium and magnesium handy. My original plan was to go back to 111 (which I consistently was until I moved and my roommate situation was stressful) via vegan keto OMAD.
In order to make my weight loss less drastic, I was thinking of just vegan OMAD and not worry about carbs too much. Do you think that will stabilize my weight loss?
Vegan- have been since I was 11. Vegan keto- I played with this diet for months but I only spent a lot of money on coconut flour and made all these keto treats and I basically gained weight on it and I couldn’t stop absolutely obsessing over food 25/7. IF/OMAD - I don’t do breakfast/lunch at 2-3pm anyway so this is a no brainer.
I see fasting as a way to turn off my brain from thinking and obsessing about food. I would like to go for longer fasts like this one more often and want to work up to a 4 day fast.
Oh I’m usually bulimic and OMAD/fasting is the only thing that doesn’t give me the urge.
Should I break the fast at 42 hours or continue?
TL;DR I lost 10 pounds this week with a 21 hour fast and a 42 hour fast and OMAD/IF. This is too quickly and I’ll gain it all back. I want fasting strategies to get back to my original weight of 111. I’m open to very extended fasts, no health problems.
[LINKING MY WEIGHT LOSS TRACKER](https://imgur.com/gallery/Ow3OIvt)
[Rant/Rave] Fuck mirrors
/u/_Spicy_Lemon_ [5'6 | CW 131.5 | GW 120 | UGW 100| F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:51:59 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6qk9/fuck_mirrors/
---
I hate how one weird glance in some public mirror can ruin my outing. This outfit looked cute two days ago, now I look awful:(. Also about to eat with friends. Let the panic attacks begin.
[Rant/Rave] Very unpopular opinion
/u/muesally [5’7 | CW: 160 | 25.1 | UGW: 110 | female ❤️| ]
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:48:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6pkk/very_unpopular_opinion/
---
C&S is classified as an ED but when it’s mentioned here people freak out and say “wHaT ThAtS sO bAd FoR yOu!!! YoUrE gOiNg To DiE” like I thought we weren’t supposed to shame people with EDs here? If I told someone who made and ana post that they’re making unhealthy decisions I’d get crap for it. (ps. I’m ana but I still c&s quite often)
[Help] Mono diets? Pls share
/u/ketokitty13
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:45:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6orh/mono_diets_pls_share/
---
Hello! I’m curious about anyone’s experience with mono diets, maybe with one food or a very small list of food? I think I could benefit restriction-wise by taking away variety...
Small Victory?
/u/Cieran7
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:45:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6or1/small_victory/
---
Sorry if this post is a wreck, I’m on mobile. I’m so close to losing my shit rn. As I type this, my boyfriend is eating the pizza I just made him. Pizza is my weakness. I spent all morning looking at it online (ironically). I am fixated on it. BUT. My birthday is in 10 days. I’ve lost a lot in the last couple weeks and I’m pretty happy, but I’ve also been really strict and restricted pretty low everyday (for me it’s low. I try not to add numbers in here because I always find them very triggering if someone is eating less/more than me). So for my birthday I have allotted myself a free day. (I feel like it’s not going to be that simple on my actual birthday lol) but I’m trying so hard to hold out till then, just put off my binge-desperation till then.
Update- he was done eating, he ate half the pizza. I immediately made sure he was finished, then took it out to the garage trashcan, chewed and spit two bites, and poured dish soap over the rest. Small victory! 🎉
[Rant/Rave] Today I reached peak bulimia ® which is ordering McDonalds and then throwing it up in their toilets 👌
/u/Burlesqua [🌷 5'4'' | CW:108 | BMI:18 | 20/F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:36:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6m9a/today_i_reached_peak_bulimia_which_is_ordering/
---
I actually waited 10 min before the toilets because I thought it was locked but turns out it was open and I was just blind af 😂
Anyway that was 8€ down the drain, yay !
[Rant/Rave] “So he likes fat girls?”
/u/BadAsh3403 [5'4" | 106 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:28:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6jse/so_he_likes_fat_girls/
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I’ve was so wildly triggered after a vulnerable conversation with an acquaintance on Thursday and I still feel like a whale now.
I told this person (32/m) about how a colleague and I don’t get along. I recalled how one time the colleague told me I needed to gain 30 pounds to be attractive. This guy responded “So he likes fat girls?” Which sent my mind into a tailspin. I later opened up and told this person about my ED and how I’ve gained at least 10 pounds since the worst of it when I was 94 pounds. He was like “You look fine. I know several girls who weigh 95 pounds at your height and they’re fine. You have an ass.”
Now I can’t stop seeing all the fat on my body. I haven’t weighed since February. All my clothes fit the same I think-but maybe I’m just delusional the same way I thought 95 pounds was pretty low.
[Rant/Rave] has anyone else ever had a night where you can just feel your water weight going away (a bit tmi?)
/u/baby-lips
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:25:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6j18/has_anyone_else_ever_had_a_night_where_you_can/
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last night I had so much trouble sleeping and (without dramatically upping my water intake) CONSTANTLY had to pee. like had to get up every 20 minutes. I wasn't even mad after like the 3rd time getting up because I felt like it had to be the beginning of a whoosh. I weighed myself last night and again this morning and found I had dropped 3 LBS LIKE WTF. I'd been stuck at the same weight for like 3 weeks even with over-exercising and restricting and I just feel so good. has anyone else ever experienced this? and wtf causes it, it seems so random
If you need to me grossed out by food... watch this video. Behold: Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad
/u/magicalpixiedust [Hugh Mungus]
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:24:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6ipt/if_you_need_to_me_grossed_out_by_food_watch_this/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf_W7As6xbk
[Other] Motherfucking winsss
/u/coolmistmama
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:20:13 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6hig/motherfucking_winsss/
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Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing how small my legs, ass and hips have gotten and thinking “wow, look at that thinspo” felt amazinnnggg.
That’s all.
[Discussion] Holy f*%+&, Black Swan is triggering!
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:05:28 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6d61/holy_f_black_swan_is_triggering/
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I mean I've seen this film like a thousand times but good God, I forgot just how triggering it is! Especially because of underweight Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis! Daaaamn, seeing those tiny, fragile bodies is motivating!
Anyone else feel the same way? Any other films/series?
I gained 10 pounds in just a few weeks while "restricting"... because of alcohol!
/u/throwawaysilentcurt [5'5"|CW:127ish|HW:200|GW:110|21M]
Created: Sun Oct 14 15:05:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6d1f/i_gained_10_pounds_in_just_a_few_weeks_while/
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...because even though I eat around 800 calories a day, lately I have been drinking like 1500 calories of whiskey and white wine every day too! (And even had some drunk binges on top of it!)
I hadn't weighed myself in weeks and I'd deleted MFP to try to be mentally healthier, so I just weighed myself for the first time last night since I started gaining. I knew it would happen but I've been in denial about alcohol calories existing because it's kind of my crutch.
Yesterday I drank a bottle of fireball which is probably close to 2000 calories, and while I was wasted at night I went and got a cheeseburger for another 1000. So I only ate one thing, that I barely even remembered, I was starving most of the day, and yet I consumed 3000 calories.
It's kind of pathetic that weight gain is the only thing that's going to make me confront my drinking habit lol
Self-sufficiency
/u/iloveitosusumu [5'9 | SW185 | LW108.7 | CW121 | BMI17.55 | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 14:48:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o6882/selfsufficiency/
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I'm gonna be the local Birthday Bitch in 2 weeks. I feel so bad getting old, like I'm wasting my youth and my future at the same time somehow. I'm not very pretty or shaped well AND I'm one job loss away from being NEET/too stupid to figure out how to go back to school or if I'm even capable of it.
My ED started out as just wanting to be desirable as a person, but it turns out the problem was never really my body and was actually the mediocrity of my whole lmao. I feel bad about my parents and my friends and my boyfriend and anything that interacts with me. I wish I was just self-sufficient and alone? I don't want to put in the effort of being alive or interesting, ideally I would just move out on my own somewhere isolated and die and I have elaborate fantasies about it. Is anybody else effectively living for other people?
[Discussion] 30 minutes away from completing my first 24hr fast
/u/Marca19 [5"0.5 | 99lbs | BMI 19.1| FTM]
Created: Sun Oct 14 14:29:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o62ie/30_minutes_away_from_completing_my_first_24hr_fast/
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I'm sooooooo close now, and the best part is it's nearly time for me to sleep. I might be able to add another 10 hours onto that if I'm lucky!
Do you guys find fasting easier than restricting? How do you feel about it in general? And most importantly.... I have no idea how to break the fast. Are there any foods I should avoid?
Starve
/u/sadstorygirl
Created: Sun Oct 14 14:29:31 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o62dd/starve/
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I'm going to attempt to fast for about 10-12 days. Does anyone have any advice. I'm doing it because I'm depressed. I hate myself and I want to shock my boyfriend who is not talking to me. I'm not glamorizing this or anything. I haven't been diagnosed with an ED. but I am severly depressed at this point in time. And I've restricted and had particularly bad body image since I was 15. I just want to love myself
my stats are:
HW 212lbs
CW 177lbs
GW1 164lbs
GW2 150 lbs
GW3 135lbs
UGW 120 lbs
Height 5'8
BMI 27
[Help] Please godddddd
/u/sunnyrai99
Created: Sun Oct 14 14:21:32 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5zyy/please_godddddd/
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Been binging almost 2 weeks straight. I have no self control. It’s starting to get shitty outside and season depression is kicking my ass. I know if that scale tells me a certain high number I’m really really not gonna be okay. Anyone have any good distractions from eating aaaaa?! Sorry I’m panicking.
[Rant/Rave] i'm back and fatter than ever ya'll
/u/get-it_together [5'3| 230| kill me | fucking none | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 14:18:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5z2e/im_back_and_fatter_than_ever_yall/
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I try to stay away from here, but I always come back when I hit a high weight. And surprise of all fucking surprises, I'm fatter than I've ever been. I have never in my life been over 190 and I'm sitting at 230. I hate it. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, I hate brushing up against fat where there wasn't fat before and jesus christ I fucking CAN'T.
​
To make it even more complicated, one of my closer friends recently explained that they've struggled with ED and I feel for them and love them and they're in a good place and looking good now and I just feel as though I suck for not being able to do the same?? As fucked as that sounds.
​
I've been trying to get binging under control but fuck man. AND I'm living with a fuck ton of other people so I can't really control what I eat for dinner because other people cook. Fuck. This is just a rant. I'm gonna be hanging out in this sub again.
[Other] i feel nauseous at work and idk if it’s my brain making me sick for binging the past few days
/u/ScrunchiesandDraino [5’8”| CW: 249| BMI: 🐋|20F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 14:16:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5ym1/i_feel_nauseous_at_work_and_idk_if_its_my_brain/
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or if i’m actually sick........
i never get sick so idk but i wanna die.
Eating normally is making me feel bad
/u/LittleFuckdUp [175 cm| 51.5 Kg| 16.82 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 14:16:50 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5ylv/eating_normally_is_making_me_feel_bad/
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Hi everyone!
I'm totally using a throwaway because I don't feel confident enough to use my main account, but I've been lurking here for some months.
It's been 3 days that I've been eating like a normal person (I don't know how many calories because I've been to restaurants) and I feel B A D. I almost lost it this afeternoon but I managed to take some xanax and eat out (again) with my family (some tenderloin and a chocolate mousse too) to make them happy.
The thing is: I'm 175cm (5"8') and 51.5 Kg (113lb) and my BMI is 16.8. I KNOW I have to eat more but I doesn't make me happy. I'm making everyone happy by eating but me and none seem to care about that. I know it's in my best interest to eat but I just can't do that for others and feel happy about it.
The new week is going to start soon and I'm going to eat like I do normally (without my family and bf pressuring me) but I'm seeing my psych on saturday and I'm totally scared he's going to flip when he sees me (last time I've seen him I wasn't SO thin) and force me on recovery or something. Am I that bad? I just wish I could go back to eat like I did because I was totally healthy (60 kg - 132 lb) but shit happened and here I am.
Am I going to gain a ton of weight after eating like shit for three days? I didn't even binge (never did honestly) because I was totally in control of what I ate and I stopped when I wanted to, but it kinda felt like it because it was SO MUCH FOOD compared to what I eat normally (500-800 kcal/day).
Sorry for the rant guys, hope everyone stays safe!
i have a sneaky idea
/u/sweetmarten [176 | 60 | 18.98 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 13:53:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5rl0/i_have_a_sneaky_idea/
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so I recently made a post about the creepy dudes on /r/thinspo and it got quite a lot of attention. the sub is going private next month (yay!) but the recent posts of male thinspo have received gross homophobic comments from straight guys who just want to jerk off to anorexic women.
I was wondering if anyone would like to join me in posting more varied content to /r/thinspo; there is a lot of really good male, androgynous and trans thinspo out there and it has the added bonus of making the sub less appealing for the people who are lurking there for the wrong reasons. even if non-female thinspo isn't your thing, posting it and commenting positively on it/upvoting it helps to create an environment that is more what we want
Sorry if this is a ramble! posting male thinspo now! (also apologies if anyone has gotten annoyed with me going off on creepy guys in the comments, i just *hate* when men come and wave their boners around in female safe spaces and i want to protect u guys from that)
All or nothing
/u/Aleph0-4 [155 cm | 42 kg | BMI 18.25 | 19F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 13:42:48 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5ofb/all_or_nothing/
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DAE feel like if there's a mistake, the entire day is ruined? If I overeat by even a little, I binge and then I purge and because the day is ruined, I b/p again and again until I go to sleep.
I've come to realise that my ED is tied to how overly critical I can be about myself. I beat myself up (metaphorically) if I I don't pick the sandwich with the lowest calorie count. If I exercise and eat, I beat myself up because I'm wasting the calories I burn. If I don't eat, I beat myself up for not getting enough protein.
Sometimes, I think I binge just to drown out the voice that's micromanaging me all the time.
[Rant/Rave] Fuck your whooshes. I dont get those.
/u/dortuh [5'8" | 110.7lb | BMI 16.8 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 13:35:22 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5m76/fuck_your_whooshes_i_dont_get_those/
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I have been 121 pounds for like 10 days and no matter what I do it stays the same. I took laxatives and went down to 120 for a day, and then back to 121. No matter how little I eat, or if I eat maintenance. Nothing works. I'm so fucking frustrated and I've never been stuck for this long. Idk why this keeps happening. I'm going to go to the doctor and demand blood work for hypothyroidism, and its probably gonna be embarrassing if I'm wrong, but I don't know why else this would be happening to me. I'm so upset. I'd do anything to be out of the 120s right now.
[Other] Results of my LEEP Surgery
/u/coffeeeecatttt
Created: Sun Oct 14 13:25:10 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5j4i/results_of_my_leep_surgery/
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Hey guys. As may of you know, about 2 weeks ago I had a LEEP procedure done because high grade abnormal cells were found on my cervix following a pap smear. If you don't know, a LEEP surgery uses a heated electrocuted wire-knife thing to remove abnormal cells from the cervix. I was given shots of anesthesia directly into my cervix and was awake for the procedure. It was traumatic and painful.
A few days ago, I got a call from the surgeon. I had what is called carcinoma in situ. Basically, stage 0 cervical cancer. However, they were able to remove it all. So now I just have to watch so the abnormal cells don't come back.
I'm still taking this all in. The procedure and the results were HIGHLY traumatic. I'm crying right now just thinking that this could happen again. I'm so incredibly thankful that it was removed. This doctor basically saved my life.
I've been really really struggling to eat normally. I either binge uncontrollably or restrict uncontrollably. I know that because I basically had cancer, I really need to be taking care of my immune system right now. My ED is just taking over. Thanksgiving is next month and that's all my family is going to be talking about. I'm 24 and I can't believe this happened to me. I don't know. I still want to lose weight even though I'm already considered "underweight." I just don't know what to do.
[Rant/Rave] Job App
/u/nickgalentine
Created: Sun Oct 14 13:14:42 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5g0o/job_app/
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Y'all. This is my favorite sub so I'm posting here even though this is hardly relevant to EDs.
I applied for a job at a place where I used to work that I am qualified for. But I'm so scared I won't get it. And I hate hate hate my current job. I don't know when I'll hear something because the job doesn't close for another few days. So I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. and I need a distraction.
Also I went camping this weekend and ate EVERYTHING and am currently drinking Oktoberfest and beer is a major fear food for me. So my brain is just all over the fucking place.
This sub and all of you are seriously the greatest. <3
Calling all drunkorexics
/u/jeanisdead [5'2.5" | 98lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 14 13:04:17 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5cxx/calling_all_drunkorexics/
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I really just want to vent somewhere that I know I won't be judged.
I think my alcoholism is worse than my eating disorder at the moment.
This morning, I made my safe meal. Ate half of it, gave half to the dog. There was champagne meant for mimosas, but orange juice? Sugar. No
Tomorrow, I will be hurting. I will be binging and purging because you know as well as I do that there is nothing more satisfying than a good, fat, b/p when you're hungover. You already need to vomit. Why not stuff a whole dominos pizza down your face hole first? It makes the inevitable a little less awful.
I've been stuck in my car in the driveway taking pulls off bottom shelf whiskey and listening to music. Chainsmoking. Pissing away every ounce of water weight, but I bet my face looks awful. I'm not sure, I'm afraid to look. I ripped off all my acrylic nails this morning because I wanted to play guitar and pick my nose. It's a special kind of freedom
Lately, I've been having a massive dilemma with body vs face. I've been doing everything I can to make sure my face doesn't get puffy, swollen, etc. I barely have a jawline, so I'd like to try to keep it? That means no throwing up, no drinking, lots of water. I'm 2/3 right now because I can't stop drinking when I get started. It goes on for a few days before I'm ready to face reality & pick up the pieces.
And tomorrow I will blow it all. Sometimes I feel so fucking dumb. Why am I so vain? I will have my cake and eat it too. Never understood that phrase.
I hope anybody can relate. I feel stupid and lonely for posting this in the first place, but my journal is at my apartment & im desperate for any kind of socialization that doesn't require me actually being present.
Enjoy your day, make it better than mine.
Love u xoxox
.
Fuck me!!!! I weigh only 2lbs less than my boyfriend. :(
/u/CharlieAndArtemis [5'9"F|CW 135|GW 125|31yo ]
Created: Sun Oct 14 13:03:14 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5clo/fuck_me_i_weigh_only_2lbs_less_than_my_boyfriend/
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When we first started dating back in 2006 he was 140 and I was 190. He’s actually the reason I started obsessing over what I ate and restricting. I couldn’t stand being bigger than him. It didn’t take long before I got under his weight and I’ve managed to maintain a 10-15lb gap all these years.
We moved in to an apartment with each other back in 2011. Our propensity for alcohol and my fabulous cooking had us both steadily gaining weight over time. I was up to 150 and he was in the 160’s.
Then last year we both went vegan and the excess weight fell right off. Within weeks we had dropped 15-20lbs. I was ecstatic!
For the last few weeks I’ve been stuck at 135. Okay. Fine. I’m only 5lbs from my goal but I wasn’t really doing the best job at trying to lose.^(Thanks Justin’s almond butter!!!) No biggie since last time we weighed him, he was about 142. Then this morning he decided to jump on the scale...
137.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Looks like I’m buckling down. Thank jeebus I finished all my nut butter this weekend.
Also plan on sending him to work with a gallon of non-dairy ice cream.
[Rant/Rave] We had another argument.
/u/applesauceistheenemy [5’10.5” | 140 | 19.5 | -70 lb | female]
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:54:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o59ym/we_had_another_argument/
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Last night my girlfriend said she was upset that myself and our boyfriend (we’re poly) went on a date without her. I commented that the feelings I have about them having sex but me not being able to with her were similar. I thought maybe this time, she’d understand a bit better, but no. Instead it was “you’re being controlling,” and “they’re so different.”
I’m being “punished” by not having sex with her for the next....forever, because we have “unresolved conflicts.” and it’s “too stressful.” I’m not supposed to complain about it or talk about it because then I’m being “unhealthy for the relationship.”
So what am I doing? Fasting and restricting, of course! Really going to see how long I can make this fast this time. It’s the only way I can cope with rejection or messing up and things being held against me from months ago. This fast will be at least 48 hours long but I feel like I could push myself further if necessary and doable. I don’t really want to self harm anymore, so that’s kinda off the table, but I can always just not eat. I also have an almost full pack of cigarettes to smoke (outside and hidden, of course).
At least this will get me closer to my ugw.
[Discussion] I could die. You could die.
/u/ItsAMe-username
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:46:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o57kd/i_could_die_you_could_die/
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Last night, coming down off an acid trip, 16 hours with no food, 27 hours of no sleep, sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette, looking at my wrist. How I can finally see the bones of my wrist.
My heart did a flutter, skipped a beat. Maybe the EC stacks? Never mind my heart is already eroded from my past near death experience with anorexia.
I thought... Even if I was super healthy and not disordered for the rest of my life I will probably die early. Why the fuck and I'm rolling the dice with a heart that already doesn't work right. The cardiologist saying "it might not kill you now but when you're 50..."
That's 20 years from now... That is just enough time to see my kids get married, maybe hold a grandchild.
Why the fuck am I so determined to be thin if it means I might not even see that??
That moment scared me for about a minute.
Then I woke up and took bronkaid.
My ED books came. Sitting on the couch. My husband doesn't ask. It's obvious by their titles.
I feel rather stupid. I also feel determined. I'm officially not over weight today. It took a week to lose 8 pounds.
But I could die and you could die. What on Earth are we doing. My heart aches that so many people are rolling the dice because that outcome doesn't seem so bad. We will be skinny in our coffins.
[Rant/Rave] It's not about you! (longish?)
/u/marshallcat [5 ft | CW 105 lbs | BMI 20.24 | GW 83 lbs | 19 F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:38:52 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o556i/its_not_about_you_longish/
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DAE feel like the people around them keep making their ED about themselves?
I have this one friend who, whenever we hang out, starts talking about my ED and my body image issues at some point. It's obviously extremely triggering, and I also feel like she mentions it in a very... selfish way? Like she'll say "you're smaller than me already, do you think I'M fat?" or, "you should eat more than one meal a day, I EAT two meals a day", and comments on how low my goal weight is, and I just want to scream.
My eating disorder is not about you. I could give a shit about how much you weigh. My eating disorder is maybe 30% about weight loss and being thin and 70% this urge to destroy myself and deprive myself of anything nice I have.
Like come on, I'm already dealing with my own shit, and now on top of that I have to feel guilty about making YOU feel like I think you're fat? 99.9% of the time I'm too focused on how much I hate myself to notice my surroundings anyway.
The funniest thing is she complains about how I never eat when I'm with her, but SHE'S the one who triggers me by talking about my ED in the first place. I can eat in front of my other friends ocasionally, because they don't make a fuss, but the first and last time I ate with her she literally made fun of what I was ordering (a veggie subway sandwich with no cheese), and she still brings it up to joke about it now and then!!!
Also, not to be shady but she was lowkey pro ana/mia a few years ago and encouraged me not to eat in the first stages of my ED, but now that I've actually lost weight and I'm not her chubby friend anymore she wants me to stop, hmmm...
Anyways, people are ignorant and it's harmful.
Psyllium Husk thoughts/suggestions?
/u/AllieBirdL
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:38:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o5542/psyllium_husk_thoughtssuggestions/
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So I've been eating complete crap for like 2 weeks (like changes, random stressful bs, etc), and as a result I went to the pharmacy to get some sort of fiber this morning - ended up buying a giant bottle of generic brand pure psyllium husk. Its marketed as a bulk-biulding laxative, so I'm just wondering if anyone here has used it and what with/in and results.
​
Currently drinking 1/2 tsp mixed in with a bullion cube in a big mug of hot water to test it out. Will report back...lol.
I'm planning on keeping a food/ed diary
/u/goodwillflannels [5'1| 150 | 28.3 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:37:21 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o54s9/im_planning_on_keeping_a_fooded_diary/
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So I'm planning on keeping a food diary and it'll include things about my eating disorder as well and how it's affecting me, but I'm not sure what to include. Does anyone have any suggestions about questions and certain things to keep up with as I'm writing?
[Rant/Rave] once i start eating, i cannot stop... ugh
/u/sipapito [4'11" | cw: 111lbs | bmi: 22.6 | gw: 95lbs | 22f]
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:33:19 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o53ma/once_i_start_eating_i_cannot_stop_ugh/
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so if i eat something because it looks good and im not even feeling hungry, i end up eating basically everything else in the fridge. i have no idea why but i just cannot get enough. it's not like im trying to satiate a hunger, i dont feel hungry but i just cannot stop eating. i don't know how to just have a bite of something and go on about my business. I will just stuff everything around me into my mouth and then feel really terrible about it.
Happy!!!
/u/taintedlovefan69
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:20:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4ztx/happy/
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My BMI is almost in the underweight range, I went from 23 to 19.7. I’ve almost lost 30 pounds since June and I look so much fucking better. I can’t talk to my friends about it because they’re really worried that I’m not eating so I figured I’d say it here. I’m even starting to lose weight on my face, my biggest insecurity. My life is a mess but at least I’m skinny!
[Discussion] What is your strangest fear food/safe food?
/u/Marca19 [5"0.5 | 99lbs | BMI 19.1| FTM]
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:04:06 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4uvw/what_is_your_strangest_fear_foodsafe_food/
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Some of us have relatively common safe foods, like pickles, hot sauce, broth, halo top, rice cakes etc. The same goes for fear foods...chips, chocolate, other easily bingeable things.
Do you have any that you would consider odd or unusual?
Personally, one of my biggest fear foods is... Weetabix cereal. I could go for seven or eight bowls of that in a row during a binge. And a huge safe food for me is oatmeal, which feels weird because it can be very dense and high-calorie.
[Rant/Rave] Can I rave about psyllium husk for a second?
/u/lotsoffuchs
Created: Sun Oct 14 12:03:12 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4um2/can_i_rave_about_psyllium_husk_for_a_second/
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Buckle the heck up, because I'm going to tell you about psyllium hecking husk. I, like many of you wonderful people here, suffer from the lack of BMs, and I was researching ways that could help with this that doesn't involve laxatives, because no one wants to shit themselves, am I right?
Cue psyllium hecking husk.
I bought a bag of [Anthony's Psyllium Husk Powder](https://www.amazon.com/Anthonys-Organic-Psyllium-Gluten-Non-GMO/dp/B06XXN9CTG) because I read that it literally pushes everything along. One serving size is one teaspoon and is only 15 calories. You can mix it in your drinks, bake with it, whatever your heart desires.
I mix it with a drink and let me tell you, it really does push things along. It also kept me full for a good part of the day! So that's a plus. A few things I would mention is that you do have to mix well and drink rather quick or you will be lift with a goopy mess that's really not that pleaesent to drink. Just wanted to share my experience with this if anyone was interested! 😊
vanity clothing sizes and body dysmorphia ughh!!!
/u/xlilgirlpoptartx [5'7 | CW: 200 | SW: 245 | GW:135 | F/37]
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:55:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4sen/vanity_clothing_sizes_and_body_dysmorphia_ughh/
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So I thought that I finally do need to get some pants that will stay up, and I am not physically well enough at the moment to get to altering any of my clothes, even though I'm probably capable of it, I just don't have the spoons (energy) to spare.
So off I went to walmart because a friend of mine had gotten a gift card from there but she hates walmart with a passion so she just handed it to me, and I was like yay let's go clothes shopping!
So I measured myself before I went, just in my waist honestly, and maybe I am doing it wrong, the problem is I'm still so big in my stomach that when the things say to measure above your belly button but in the natural curve in of your waist, well I think because I was so big before that my belly button is now a weird shape and it's longer and my pants have always been right at my belly button not just above it....so whatever I measured there.
44 inches....and I'm like looking at sizing charts....saying I need a 24W in plus sizes still.....that can't be right. Because I own a shit ton of 24W clothes that are now swimming on me and no longer stay up!!!
So anyway we go and instead of 24, I pick out some 22s, they are huge, ok some 20s, they also are big on me, and down and down til I managed to fit into a pair of size 14 pants that were listed as an L. Now I hate jeans with a passion so I know that maybe it's just that I like either leggings or cotton stretchy pants like an old hag, but still....
I mean I should be happy that I fit into the 14, but I didn't buy them...which is a whole other story, some woman at the dressing rooms made a comment which sent me into tears and I went home.
But now that I have calmed down, I just feel cheated. Like I used to wear a certain size and haven't really bought new clothes in about 5-6 years, possibly longer. and I wore 22/24 clothes that entire time and now it's telling me I should still wear those sizes like wtf?....or some shit, and i always wore most of my clothes pretty loose ....
I don't know I am all over the place here, either my waist measurement is wrong or I'm just feeling confused, I wanted to be able to see progress but the progress I saw seems extremely wrong and so therefore not validating at all. I just want some god damned standard sizes to go....oh yes you actually do fit into.....idk I assumed maybe an 18 by now? not a 14! I thought that measuring myself would distract me while I waited for that moment to get under 200.....but nope, just gonna keep on fasting til my fat fucking ass disappears.
Body pump calories
/u/todd_blankenship_ [5’3” | CW 135| BMI 23.9| GW 110 | Gender F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:50:33 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4qvj/body_pump_calories/
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Does anyone know approximately how many calories you burn during an hour long les mills body pump class?
Ordered my Juice cleanse for next week- time to start drinking vegetables (then maybe I’ll start eating them).
/u/FeatherMahogany59
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:48:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4q92/ordered_my_juice_cleanse_for_next_week_time_to/
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I love juice cleanses because they feel disordered AF but in reality you get at least 800 calories and all your vitamins and even fiber and protein if you choose blended juice instead of cold pressed. It’s a stop on the way to eating healthy (from eating artificial sugar and more artificial sugar, to eating fruit, to drinking fruit, to drinking vegetables to finally eating them) 😂😂😂
[Goal] I'm told I have a wasp's waist (update on toothpick guy)
/u/daintywannabe
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:48:27 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4q8q/im_told_i_have_a_wasps_waist_update_on_toothpick/
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First things first, I did broke up with my boyfriend but life is actually being great so we decided to stay best friends. The other guy, the one that said I was a "tiny toothpick" has been hanging out with me more and more.
Now, story time:
Yesterday was my birthday. And as tradition we haveto wear something new that day. I was buying some clothes because I had forgotten to get anything new and I was wearing a huge jacket (given to me by toothpick guy). And I asked the lady at the store if I could see a dress that was too high up. She brought it to me and told me I could try it on. So I undid the jacket's zipper and she just went "oh my god, you have a wasp's waist. Your body is so perfect. Do you excercise? You're so beautiful". So I just tried on many of their clothes and they just wanted me to try more and more because they had a lot of smaller sizes.
And later, while I was celebrating with my friends, they told me my body was perfect, and that I had lost so much weight I looked gorgeous. Like, one of them mentioned it and EVERYONE pitched in. After the party I told my friends I liked toothpick guy and they said "oh my god, I ship it." And one of them said "And he does like you. He's told me so. This is perfect".
I'm??? So happy??? Best birthday ever. Everyone has been complimenting my body lately. And one of them even said that I could do so many things, I was just ultimately perfect. It just makes me want to restrict more and more so I can show them the most perfect body they'll ever see. I'm literally 5 kg away from my last gw (idk if I even want to reach ugw bc muscle). And I just feel so happy.
[Rant/Rave] My mom is doing keto.
/u/-bluehoney- [5'3" | sw 187 | cw 169.4 | gw 120 | ƒ |🍑bluehoney]
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:41:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4o9w/my_mom_is_doing_keto/
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She thinks she can eat all the meat and cheese that she wants but VEGETABLES she has to watch out for. I try to explain CICO and how it at least can be used WITH keto and her boyfriend of course jumps all over me about how he’s lost 10lbs since Tuesday and keto is the end-all be-all. God knows they aren’t even getting accurate measurements of their fucking carbs, they don’t even weigh or really measure shit at all. I just watched my mother turn away a tub of Greek yoghurt for two bags of shredded mozzarella I want to die oh my god I didn’t even want to come to this cursed grocery trip
Bright side: I got this cute cup. It’s funny bc I’d scream if I had sugar in my coffee https://i.imgur.com/zt2QYJF.jpg
Why the hell does everything have to be so cold
/u/BluntCakes_ [5’7 | CW119 | 18.6 | GW112 | 18F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:36:29 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4mtf/why_the_hell_does_everything_have_to_be_so_cold/
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Particularly when fasting. How do you warm up?
[Rant/Rave] boyfriend cheated, insane motivation
/u/yknowholic [5'10" | fat | bulimic | 20F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:09:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4eit/boyfriend_cheated_insane_motivation/
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My boyfriend of over a year cheated on me four times in the last five months and is now officially dating the last girl he cheated on me with. He never broke up with me but he just stopped talking to me altogether and then changed his Facebook relationship thing to being with her instead of me (he’s fucking 24 by the way lol I hate men).
That being said, she’s thinner and younger than me and holy shit it has given me so much motivation to restrict (with two days of immense bingeing and purging lol). I hate that THIS is what it took to get me motivated but I’m also happy I’m losing again. I have no one in my life to say “you don’t need to lose weight anymore, I like you how you are” etc (and he obviously didn’t really like me at my current weight (and no one ever could lol I’m a pig) so now I just restrict into oblivion I guess 🤷🏻♀️
[Rant/Rave] Finally
/u/elliewulfy [5’5 | CW: 149 lbs | 25.0 BMI | GW: 125lbs | 21F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 11:06:26 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4doo/finally/
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After getting put on a heavy antipsychotic (at 120lbs) post loony-bin, I’m finally back under 145lbs! A few weeks ago while checking my BMI for the first time since 2016, I nearly shit myself when I found I was “technically” overweight. The seroquel midnight munchies have been too fucking real for the last two years, but I’m so proud of myself for a) still taking my meds despite the SERIOUS weight gain as a side effect and b) putting a halt to the weight gain (without restricting) to begin with. ☺️
I hate my period
/u/iron_blanket
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:57:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4axe/i_hate_my_period/
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I have been eating and arguing with my boyfriend all weekend. I feel like such a fat bitch. He's so good to me and I just have such rage.
Ok. Going to start my fast .... Now
Beer doesn't count though right?
[Intro] Hello again!
/u/countdowntocontrol [5ft5 | 137 | 💧☀️❄️]
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:57:08 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4apz/hello_again/
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Hey y'all,
​
I was here under a different handle over the summer. I lost a ton of weight in two months on the ABC diet, and while I've managed to lose another 7 or so pounds since I stopped I've also found myself slipping into a binge pattern - a couple days of restriction, then eating until I can't move, think or speak. I'm not about it. I feel like trash. I want to get down to 125, so I'm gonna go back on the ABC till I hit that goal and then aim to figure out maintenance. I will be posting here daily to stay accountable, and hopefully to offer/receive support to/from you rad people of the internet.
​
Mad love x
​
​
[Discussion] Psyllium Husk Fibre - tell me everything
/u/MagnoliaPetal
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:45:02 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o46yc/psyllium_husk_fibre_tell_me_everything/
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So I've read about this and how it's supposed to make for a smoother experience.
Anyone who has tried it, tell me everything there is to know. How does it work? Does it actually work? How do I take it? Pros and cons? Does it have calories? Are the cheap ones (found 250g for about €5 on a website) fake?
This is not necessarily ED related; having, er... 'difficulties' runs in my family, my mother takes laxatives daily because of it. I've tried laxatives and the chemical ones just give me massive cramps while the natural ones like prunes are just not worth the calories and sugar, especially not considering the sheer amount I have to eat of them for them to do anything at all.
Plus in my case almost daily undereating obviously doesn't help to move things along...
Oh and (warning TMI) abovementioned 'difficulties' often result in, uhm, certain growths back there if you know what I mean. Could psyllium help with that?
P. S. My fibre intake from foods is good btw, I'm always above my minimum RDA.
[Rant/Rave] Starting to low restrict
/u/TurnTechAstraeus [5 ft 4|116lb|GW: 110|19.86|Not Enough|Nonbinary]
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:37:44 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o44ol/starting_to_low_restrict/
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And I'm so fucking happy, for the first time in a long time I only ate about 300 calories yesterday (one potato at 77 cals, a small slice of cod at 89 cals and 5 broccoli florets at 33 calories). I wouldn't have eaten but my best friend and my partner pointed out that I should given I was drinking. Today I'm doing even better though at 0 cals I know I'm gonna have to eat at some point tonight cause otherwise my housemates will get suspicious but at least my best friend and I have a deal that all I have to eat is one nutritional meal a day if that's all I can manage :D
I stupidly told my friend about my ED for no reason at all last night and now I'm scared it'll get out and idk what to do
/u/ImMissBrightside [5'2" | cw: 94 | gw: 90| 23f]
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:32:39 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o4335/i_stupidly_told_my_friend_about_my_ed_for_no/
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My close friend group and I went hiking and then went back to one of their houses. It was a big house and most of them were sitting on the other side since they were drinking and chatting, but I was just alone in the corner couch controlling the music since I don't drink and I was exhausted. I didn't eat the whole day and my eyes were like half-open, and I was also having one of those late night depression moments where I just felt like listening to slow music and crying (really pathetic, I know)
One of my closest guy friends probably saw that I was alone and sat down next to me. He asked me if I was alright then started joking around to cheer me up. We chatted about random stuff and he mentioned that I was really thin this time. It made me feel good but a little sick too because I didn't want my friends to worry about me. He jokingly asked if I was "anorexic or something."
I guess I was just so out of it and I didn't want to lie again like I always did so I just stared at the floor said yeah.
He gave a small laugh but asked me if I was serious, and I just closed my eyes and nodded.
I felt really ashamed and I couldn't look at him to see what he was thinking, but he sounded really worried and starting asking me questions like how long it's been, or what's the last thing I ate. I think I answered like 80% of them with "I don't know."
After a while of closing my eyes and avoiding questions, I mentioned that I was sleepy and he said he would drive me home. Even though my apartment was only like 10 minutes away, luckily I fell asleep so he didn't ask me anymore.
Now I'm awake and I'm freaking out because I don't know what happened. I never even told him not to tell anybody and I don't know if he already did by now. He's a trustworthy person but idk he might think he's trying to help me or something. I haven't even texted him since I feel so embarrassed about everything. This is the second person who has ever even known about my ED. I'm just sitting on the bed now hitting myself because I'm so frustrated and I don't know what to do.
Ginger chews.
/u/KaitlynMK
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:29:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o426y/ginger_chews/
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They are so good and so low cal. My only problem is I wanna eat the whole bag 😩
[Help] smoking cigarettes as an appetite suppressant???
/u/glitt3rdb1tch
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:24:18 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o40fy/smoking_cigarettes_as_an_appetite_suppressant/
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i’ve been doing this lately and i THINK it works pretty well. i know caffeine works well too but it usually just ends up burning my stomach and making me paranoid. how do u guys feel about cigs as an appetite suppressant? cuz i’m really not 100% sure about it
[Rant/Rave] my boyfriend is so much smaller than me
/u/lardizebra
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:19:54 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3z2u/my_boyfriend_is_so_much_smaller_than_me/
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sorry in advanced for formatting, on mobile.
i don’t want this to come off as me being mad at my bf, he is honestly and genuinely the best support, best boyfriend, and best friend i have in the world.
in 2016 i (F, 5’5”) weighed 222 lbs due to horrific binging. but i got myself under control and lost weight all the way down to 175lbs (not great, but progress!). i left my shitty life behind and moved away and found an amazing boyfriend who i’ve been with for
almost a year now.
HOWEVER, it constantly triggers my own self hatred because he is 6’2” and weighs 30 POUNDS LESS THAN ME! it’s not his fault, he has a very active job. not to mention his entire family is small as fuck with absolutely no appetite so he genuinely struggles to eat enough each day, i try to at least get him to 1500kcal a day to maintain.
i’m not mad at him of course, i love him. i just have been stuck at 175 for months now and i need to start being serious about my weight loss because every day i just fucking HATE how big i am compared to him. the only plus is how tall he is, so i look relatively normal compared to him when we’re out in public.
i just wish i didn’t feel that way because he doesn’t deserve a self loathing girlfriend and i never want him to feel bad about his own body, he has the abs of a greek god.
end rant
[Rant/Rave] i ate a fear food!
/u/Awassya
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:13:58 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3xa7/i_ate_a_fear_food/
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I managed two WHOLE pieces of a very sweet chocolate cake for my godmother's birthday and I don't feel too bad about it! I'm resisting my impulses to get rid of it! Yes, I'm nauseous and anxious as fuck but I did it!!!
About her, though... she also has a 'calculator' in her head and restrictive tendencies, and she managed two pieces as well! We made a deal to get through it together, to have a nice day and to feel 'normal' for today, and I'm so excited for her!!!
(I'm sorry but I felt so proud of myself and her I had to share the feeling)
[Goal] this week's goals? 🌹
/u/sipapito [4'11" | cw: 111lbs | bmi: 22.6 | gw: 95lbs | 22f]
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:11:47 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3wna/this_weeks_goals/
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i have a super busy week with work and school. i work 8am-6pm mon-fri and i have class m/t/w from 6pm-9pm so i am busy a lot of the time. also, im feeling very guilty today because i ate a HUGE breakfast with my parents that my mom cooked and it definitely had more calories than i usually eat for the whole day.
my goals for this week are:
\~drink at least 75oz water a day
\~cardio 4x
\~stretch every morning
\~spend less time on my phone/carry around a lil notebook to write thoughts in
\~check in on my friends
\~meal prep (planning on lots of raw veggies/ teas to carry to work)
\~cal. intake under 500 per day
[Rant/Rave] "Fat Burner Blast"
/u/AugustusMarius [5'1 | 195 | 36.8 | -25 | M]
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:06:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3uyc/fat_burner_blast/
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DAE Feel some type of way that planet smoothie sells this as an add-in and it adds 20 cal?
What are your food rules?
/u/catsarepink [5'3" | GW:113 | -5.4lbs | F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:05:43 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3uug/what_are_your_food_rules/
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I go through phases of finding rules helpful, or too restrictive. I'm curious to hear what others' rules are: what foods are banned, what are your rituals, do you only eat things of a certain colour or under a certain calorie limit etc.
I've banned chocolate, cookies, ice cream. If I want to eat I have to check how long I've been fasting for first. The first thing I'm allowed to consume has to be a Monster or Rockstar. As of today, no more cheese - it's addictive and I eat way too much of it. So easy to binge on :(((
[Discussion] iM so fat, my diet is horrendous, shame me!
/u/hufoverlv
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:01:00 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3tfs/im_so_fat_my_diet_is_horrendous_shame_me/
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https://i.redd.it/deeu9203c6s11.jpg
Is my ugw too low?
/u/livebackwards616
Created: Sun Oct 14 10:00:05 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3t4j/is_my_ugw_too_low/
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I am a 5'2" girl and my ugw is 88 lbs. Is that too low? Will I die if I get to that weight? It's been my goal for 5 years now and I've never gotten down to it and it honestly makes me feel like my whole eating disorder isn't real and it's invalid because I've been stuck around 95 lbs.
[Rant/Rave] I’M SO EXCITED AND JUST HAVE TO SHARE!!Had a wooosh last night! (I’m finally, SOLIDLY in a normal BMI range at least, and I’m kicking this fuckin binge cycle to the curb! Food is not worth this feeling!!) Also, for those of you who’ve also destroyed ur digestive tracts: enzymes. Enzymes y’all. 👌
/u/imokayjustfine [5'7 | CW: 164 | GW: 115 | -173 lbs]
Created: Sun Oct 14 09:54:49 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3rmo/im_so_excited_and_just_have_to_sharehad_a_wooosh/
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So I’d been binging these past few months. A lot. It was starting to happen like 3 times a week. And I’m talking real binges now, not eating 900+ calories for the day or 1000+ or 1100, 1200, 1300. I’m talking actual binges, disgusting mukbang status frenzies that I often haven’t even enjoyed. It’s like being possessed by a hangry demon who wants to fucking destroy me, but I’m the hangry demon and I’m destroying myself.
I’m talking like 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 k binges, definitely stretching my stomach back out binges which is terrifying (never had surgery or anything, but I’d definitely shrunk that bitch back down), just eating and eating to the point of being in physical pain. I would purge and purge during the worst incidents and took more laxatives than I’ve ever taken in my goddamn life, and I would still gain fat on top of of course just being *miserably* bloated and often waking up with grOss, puffy ass cheeks like some kind of sad, lopsided chipmunk. NOT COOL. Unsurprisingly, my whole digestive system has also been less functional than ever, lol. :(
I’ve been especially frustrated w/ myself over this because a normal BMI starts at 159 for me. Which is...obviously nowhere near where I want to be, but! It still feels like a significant milestone, u know, *at least* not being overweight anymore. Like fuuuuck. Kinda feels like a big deal, and I’d just been fuCKING myself up.
WELL, guess what?????!! I fasted for 72 hrs, successfully ate 522 carefully planned cals and took some digestive enzymes + a probiotic drink w/ my usual senna tea + Miralax (which I’d been meaning to try for my constipation forever), woke up and actually had a healthy, painless BM omfg wow (sorry for the overhearing but 🙌).
AND..........I weighed in at 155.8 this morning!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!! Fucking! Fuck! Yesss!
Not 158 or 159, but SOLIDLY in the fucking 150s FINALLY!!!!!!! Like 4 lbs down from yesterday, giving me a BMI of 24.4. Well, I’ll take it. I’ll take it for now. It’s so awesome to remember how good this feels. I’m elated and so encouraged and just *had* to share somewhere because I can’t share much irl at this point... And I am NOT going to binge this week, not once. I will not. I will noT. I know I can do it (and so can you if you’re out there struggling)!!!! 💛
[Other] An ED community for any trans folks who are interested!
/u/transedthrowaway
Created: Sun Oct 14 09:48:04 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3pmc/an_ed_community_for_any_trans_folks_who_are/
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So idk if anyone remembers, but my first post on here was asking if there were any other trans people on this sub who were struggling with ED, and was surprised by just how many of us there are!
Not long after I became a co-mod for r/transproed - a subreddit just like this one, but specifically catered to trans people and our experiences with ED. I thought it would be a good idea to share this community (with prior approval from the mods of this subreddit of course - thanks again btw! 💗) so more people can know about it.
It is a private community, but I'm more than happy to invite anyone interested. Just comment here or send me a PM if you want to join, and I'll send you an invite as soon as I'm able to.
[Rant/Rave] Panic attack over my roommate “reorganizing” everyone’s food
/u/famarino [5’3 | CW: 103| 18.3 | UGW: 90| F]
Created: Sun Oct 14 09:42:03 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3nx8/panic_attack_over_my_roommate_reorganizing/
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This is gonna be a long one everyone so buckle in:
I live in a house of 7 people. One of them is going through a bit of a rough patch right now and relapsed on her Xanax addiction so she’s doing weird shit at odd hours of the night. Side note: she used to have an ED and knows that I currently have one (this is relevant for later parts of the story).
So I got up the other morning and went down to my designated food cabinet, opened it up, and all my food is fucking GONE. There are just a couple loaves of white bread there instead. So naturally, I FREAK THE FUCK OUT.
I find her and ask her what happened and she doesn’t know where she put anything. I frantically search through all the cupboards and find that she’s taken everything out of its package and ripped labels off of things and guys, maybe this is the little paranoid bipolar monster in me talking, but I can’t stress enough how much this feels like a cruel joke on my eating disorder. All my safe foods are mixed in with everyone else’s and I do my best to separate my foods from everyone else’s but I’m still missing a lot of foods and I can’t even remember what I have and what I don’t have and it’s all just a huge disaster.
Like you guys, I spend most of my money on safe foods because my ED rules my life and losing so much of my foods made me want to completely snap. I still haven’t finished looking for all my foods and I’m pretty sure they’re gone. I had to just leave the house and spend the weekend at my girlfriend’s so I wouldn’t have a mental breakdown. Literally no one else in my life understands what a big deal this is. I don’t even get to be upset with the Xanned out roommate because she’s in a bad place and doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’m living in constant fear she’s going to fuck with my food again or eat my safe foods and idk what to do. I don’t have the money or space for my own minifridge and I live on the third floor of our house so that isn’t practical anyway. Idk how to deal with this.
[Help] Planning calories for the day but not eating everything? Do you adjust your count or just leave it?
/u/ieateggs
Created: Sun Oct 14 09:15:56 2018
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/9o3gpk/planning_calories_for_the_day_but_not_eating/
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So I plan my meals out a few days in advance. When it’s actually time to eat (I eat with my husband and I have to eat something at least twice a day) I may only eat half the food on my plate. I feel like I already entered everything and I’m pretty lazy about going back and estimating how many calories were not eaten.
Also I weigh out my portions, so should I weigh my leftovers? Sometimes I mix my food after I put it on my plate (like rice and veg) and there is no way to really know how much rice I didn’t eat.
Am I just overthinking this? But I don’t know how many calories I am actually eating. I just know it’s less than I budgeted.